#but if you think about it the reverse is also true in a certain sense: wwx can't fully escape jc either.

[add1ctedt0you]

#the analysis typically goes that jc can never escape wwx bc 1. their entire shared backstory and 2. wwx's golden core inside jc#but if you think about it the reverse is also true in a certain sense: wwx can't fully escape jc either.#bc he can't invent time travel and erase their shared history. nor can he erase his own memories of such a substantial part of his life.#and he can't ever return to lotus pier - ie. the place he grew up - because to return to lotus pier is to return to jiang cheng.#i mean this major site of wwx's personal history is just unavailable to him because jc is standing in front of it like a bridge troll.#thus - so long as wwx continues to avoid jc and the place that holds so many of his memories -#his actions will continue to be defined by a chosen lack of jiang cheng#because jiang cheng's mere existence renders so much of his past and personal geography untouchable to him. op tags

if yes, whether he succeeds or not is a different question

[drchucktingle]

Is there a reason you didn't include an acknowledgements section in Camp Damascus?

yes actually, as man name of chuck i have spent a lot of time FINDING MY IDENTITY through masking and unmasking. in early days there were many more layers hiding me away and it took a while for me to understand WHY. over the last ten years buckaroos have very much seen me find myself through art, accepting and talking about my sexuality, neurodivergence, and gender.

there is ALWAYS a layer to protect my privacy, and to allow myself room for POETRY. example i like to give is that if i post 'i pet a dog today' i might have actually pet a cat, but everything i say is true is some sense. in the early days that truth was stretched farther because even i did not quite understand it my dang self, and it has been my journey to strip away as much of this mask as possible (sometimes called removing my skin) and BECOME MYSELF on this timeline (which is something i have always talked about)

if you have been following chuck for the last decade you will see my older posts were much more abstract and difficult to parse, they reference themes that i have since come to terms with, and this journey to find myself is WHY i have been able to do this. some could say it was the journey of a reverse twin adapting to their new timeline, others could say it was the journey of a neurodivergent artist allowing themselves the freedom to find a healthy expression and conquer their chronic pain from constant neurotypical masking.

FOR INSTANCE this is why i am wearing buckaroo suits on tour now, an outfit that is more true to the INNER ME. i used to answer interview questions with metaphor and now i just answer, only hiding certain details when i need to. i talk less about figures in my life back in billings who were REAL IDEAS and PARTS OF MYSELF but sometimes not flesh and blood or ghostly buckaroos. this is my trot, and this is why i am so strongly against gatekeepers in the buckaroo community. i have been becoming myself long before i knew what that meant.

so when it came time for acknowledgments i realized i would have to acknowledge buckaroos who helped along the way but also ABSTRACT IDEAS who helped along the way, symbols and themes that i have since decided i wanted to leave behind. it was important to me to create a new era of my expression where those abstract layers are respected but also stripped away. i have to respect the inner truth i am trying to cultivate, for way of my mental health and also my physical health.

so i DID write out acknowledgments and sent them to my buckaroos privately, then i said please do not include this in the public book. these days i want to hide behind as few layers as possible, that is my artistic journey now. buckaroos were very respectful and supportive.

very quick before we finish, there was one other small and important reason. i am so sincere ALL the dang time it is kind of my natural state to get very emotional and thankful, that i kinda thought 'i am going to give myself space here to NOT stress out over this for once'. i am constantly thinking about acknowledging others and i LOVE this part of my trot, but doing it in a way that is so defined and specific and maybe even performative (gotta write your acknowledgments now bud. HAVE to do it) felt at odds with my inner way.

anyway thank you for this very good question what a dang treat to talk about this detail and how much it means to me to find truth in my inner trot.

[daenerysstormreborn]

Time to ramble. I’m thinking about the way Arya and Sansa fans seem to get into this debate about who was more lonely and neglected in Winterfell. Which is kind of funny because then the arguments get totally reversed when debating other aspects of the characters. But anyway. The general arguments seem to be:

1. Arya was clearly the neglected outcast. This is clear in the meta narrative because of her connection to Jon and the fact that she doesn’t look like her true born siblings. The more direct evidence comes from the way Sansa and Jeyne teased her, the harshness of Septa Mordane, and Catelyn’s exasperation. It can be inferred that Arya feels a sense of insecurity wrt to her family ties as she wonders if her own mother would want her back after everything that happened. It can be assumed that she was a bit of an outcast based on her disinterest in the things expected of her as a girl, and we see the way many characters look down upon non-conforming women and girls in-universe. Sansa, on the other hand, receives praise from her mother and the septa and has two named close friends in Winterfell. She happily conforms to what is expected of her as a highborn girl and we can assume she would fit in in Winterfell.

2. Sansa was clearly the neglected outcast. This is clear in the meta narrative because she is the only one to lose her direwolf, which is the family symbol. The more direct evidence comes from contrast with Arya, whom Sansa observes can “make friends with anybody,” seemingly in contrast to herself. Ned agreed to kill Lady despite knowing she was innocent and indulged Arya’s interest in swordplay whilst being unenthusiastic about indulging Sansa’s interest in tourneys. Arya is demonstrated to be beloved by Ned’s men in a way we do not observe with Sansa. We can assume that Sansa didn’t feel like she belonged because of her interest in sothron culture, something none of her siblings share. Arya, on the other hand, is extroverted, makes friends easily, is northern in appearance, and has no interest in sothron culture, so we can assume she fit in in Winterfell.

I actually don’t think a lot of the points in the two arguments is mutually exclusive. We also have to remember POV bias. Arya doesn’t reflect on Any friends her age she had at Winterfell (I am not including Mycah because I am under the impression they became friends on the way to King’s Landing), but Arya is not one to reflect and reminisce. Sansa notices that Arya can make friends with anyone, but she doesn’t experience Arya’s inner world. What does Sansa mean by making friends? Does she see Arya having fun and being at ease talking to anyone and feel envy, since she herself feels like is performing, always minding her manners, when she’s socializing with most people? Could it be that Arya is friendly but struggles to find long term close friends like Jeyne and Beth, attributing this disparity to Sansa’s “ladylike” interests? Could it be that being teased by Sansa and her friends and scolded by Catelyn and Mordane has made Arya assume that other girls wouldn’t be interested in close friendship with her, causing her to be friendly but keep a certain distance? (**please note I am not trying to make a case for nlog Arya. I think keeping a distance because you assume you’ll be rejected is different and does not require that she looks down upon other girls, because there is no evidence for that here**)

I don’t have a good conclusion I just think it’s interesting that this is something that gets debated because the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. We can’t know because we get very few flashbacks and the story picks up when their normal lives in Winterfell end. I can’t speak to George’s intentions but if we pretend they’re real people I’d speculate that both would have felt misplaced within Winterfell at times, envying certain traits about the other

[leohtttbriar]

for the reverse unpopular opinion meme, Worf!

worf is special bc, to me, he is both the funniest and most serious character in ds9, without particularly trying to be both. which i think has something to do with the invested expression of his cultures and all the values he means to represent. sometimes these characteristics are played for the pathos---the intense empathetic feeling you get when you watch him do and say things that fit in a specific heroic poetic. other times it's played for the humor, his honorable presentation in an honorable fight leading him to say things a little out of context, like "death to the opposition" in a baseball game.

but for all the ways he's a character that comments on how one can perform respect for one's self and multiplicities of loyalty, how cultural values of "heroism" might clash with others, how quite often one's acts are a choice--depending on how aware one is of why they are acting a certain way and what they want to project with their actions, the best part of worf is that he really is sincere.

i've compared worf to kira before and i think that's the thing they have in common and why both those characters work so well with characters like dax--the contrast of a loudly resolved person against a willingly variable one. worf and dax are so interesting in their scenes together because this contrast is true of them but they also interrogate that which is surface-level in each other: worf sees in dax someone who can and will commit in many (often brave) ways, and dax sees in worf a breadth of contradictory feeling and expansive experience. many of their fights as characters is refusing to acknowledge they know this about each other--even expect it.

so my favorite part of worf's character (his sincerity) is showcased in my favorite narrative for worf--the fact that he really does spend all of season 7 grieving his wife. he loved her deeply and does not back away from still feeling it, no matter the hurt. and it feels so appropriate to what these characters were to each other, in the story, and it leads to the best exchange possibly in ds9:

WORF: Perhaps not, but I am certain that you will do whatever is necessary to complete your task. EZRI: And how do you know that? WORF: You are Dax. It is your way.

worf is the kind of character that is meant to hold up some sense of resolve in a show and genre that is all about the anxieties of uncertainty. worf, of course, faces a lot of uncertainty and personal struggles (and probably it's the sort of thing that gets more focus in the next generation, which i haven't seen yet, than in ds9), but his ethic purpose among the cast of characters is to be more sure than not--not by means of arrogance but by means of choice.

other characters like this i feel are generally cast as the leaders/captains of the crew, but the difference between a character like janeway or kirk and a character like worf is that worf is not "sure" out of an obvious external pressure to choose but out of internal impulse to be. he is who he strives to be through his striving. he sometimes does and says the funniest things in the show because he doesn't bend to unspoken social demands of propriety, no matter if he senses these demands or not. and he doesn't feel the need to explain himself which makes his one-liners all the funnier. and it's so easy to see why ursula k le guin was obsessed with him.

would like to conclude the gushing by just saying that michael dorn is extraordinary as an actor imo: he has so much makeup on for the character, normally the most out of everyone in any one scene he's in, and still he turns in a Performance, implying so much interiority and perspective, making even worf's most judgy moments inherently fascinating in their distinct and unmistakable personhood.

[cosmousee]

ADVICE FOR MERCURY RETROGRADE 📢📢

Hey folks!!

I hope everyone is okay, hope being the keyword. I felt like everyone around me is in a crisis and decided to do a mercury retrograde reading, because we need to make it make sense!!

I still have a lot of asks left to do, but this felt important so here I am!!

Okay with out further ado, pick a pile from 1>>2>>3

For all three piles, the moon cards are Full Moon cards, which basically means energy is peaking. And at times, when energy peaks, your mind and body does not understand how to cope with it and hence, it comes out as frustration and anger. So just know, its not you, its just the energies and it's gonna be okay very very soon!!!

Pile 1

Your Dreams Need a Practical Plan (Full Moon In Taurus)

Your tarot cards are so much in sync with the oracle card, I honestly love when it happens.

Anywho, you have a goal in your mind, but you don't have a proper plan of achieving it.

You know, you fantasize about your goal, that you've achieved it, how amazing it feels and everything. Which is great and it literally feeds energy into your manifestations as well!

However, you got to atleast make a very starting, list of baby steps you will take in order to achieve those goals.

Currently, through the tarot cards, its clear that if you pursue your goals you'll end up as the King of pentacles, at the highest level of abundance. But, with the reversed 10 of pentacles, you aren't working with a well defined plan. The retrograde might be trying to pull your focus towards this, and with the full moon energy of the card, you would feel frustrated with as well. but take a breath, you know what you have to do. Start moving towards it and hopefully mercury will start being a little gentle with you!���

Pile 2

Its time to release negativity (Full moon in Scorpio)

You are good enough (Full moon in Virgo)

Cards are telling you to look at the bigger picture, you've got the world in your hands with the two of wands. Appreciate all that you have and look forward to the future with a lot of love. Also, be mindful of where you are putting your energy and from where you are receiving it as well. If there's anything which is not serving you, learn to let go of that and be intentional with it. The full moon is in Scorpio, which is a water sign, so you can try washing away the negative energies through water baths/shower, or whatever works for you.

The retrograde might also be pushing you to see how good and amazing you are. Its telling you to celebrate yourself more and love yourself more. You may have difficulty seeing that during this time, or whatever is happening in your life is exactly opposite to what the cards are saying, but that is just for you to realise how wrong all of it is, and reinforce your faith in your own self, and being confident with what you are and what you are becoming.

I'll give a little example of what happened with me recently, in my university. Basically my morale and motivation took a hit because of some seniors saying that my whole batch of '26 is not performing upto the mark. Which, personally, I know I am lacking over all, but whatever I am doing is my best. After stewing in that feeling for a day, I went to my club/committee seniors and they told me how well I was working and… everything was bright again.

So.. yeah, it sucks, but this is your sign to fuck the negativities out of your life, and focus on the better things, and make yourself a priority!!!💌

Pile 3

Show the world the Real you (Full moon in Aquarius)

I think you have been conforming, or living according certain rules in your life, which you dont necessarily enjoy or resonate with. It might be easier to just follow the traditions and the rules, rather than being yourself and acting against it, while having to defend yourself for embodying your true self.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, this retrograde will be hella pushing you towards breaking out of these norms, and finally emerging into the world as the real you. You might be feeling fueled up with a lot of inspiration and a lot of energy, because retrograde and the full moon energy of this card.

These might be huge transformations, changing your appearance, your hair colour, getting a new piercing. Or even mental changes, you might create new boundaries, or let go of old ones, revise new ones etc etc. You might even start questioning out loud about the norms and the regulations you used to follow. This would give you a good reality check of your likes and dislikes, and then you can start your transformational journey from there!!💓

Okay! This is all I have for you today <3.

I have tried my level best to give a proper reading, but it might get a little incoherent at some places (I am burnt out from uni assignments).

I hope this helps and you feel better during the rest of the retrograde🥺🫂

[pinejayy]

How about a Reverse! Wally (where the personalities are reversed). Well what if the reverse wally went to the original universe, now there are 2 wallys? And as a bonus, his girlfriend the reader came with him. But what if in the original world of Welcome there was no reader. Now the poor reader has 2 wallys fighting for his attention and love? If possible could the reader be human?

If my order is too complicated, forget it, I don't want to burden you.

[ I was thinking about the theory if a character didn't exist in a certain universe how would that affect? ​​As long as it existed in another.. In this case it would be the READER. ]

Two Wally's, at the same time!! It's a dream come true!! It's like a Wally Verse, just imagine how many more different versions of Wally's there are

And I love this request! I hope you have a lovely day Darling~ <3 I hope this is good!! uwu

OBSESSION! (Wally Darling x Reader x Reverse! Wally Darling)

Trigger Warnings: Maybe like two curse words, knife and rope mention. Normal Wally is going to be Wally Darling and the Reverse Wally is going to be referred as R!Wally Darling uwu

What a lovely day. Well it was a lovely day. You were hanging out with your boyfriend Wally Darling and all of the sudden both of you were sucked into a portal, you thought you died but ended up at the Neighborhood, but it seemed different that your neighborhood. How strange, you looked at your boyfriend. "What's this place? Do you know Sweetheart?" Asking your puppet boyfriend.

R!Wally looked at you and he just shrugs. "Maybe we walk around and ask these people." He told you, to which you just nod grabbing him by the hand. Feeling safe around him. He smiled at you, you really loved your boyfriend. He was a sweet and a calm person. And he was so gentle towards you, and caring.

As you guys walked around this new place, everything looked the same but different. When you guys were walking around you ran into the neighbors that were from here. And they looked like the neighbors back from your world. How strange... Sally was Sassy and a brat but here she's sweet and fun, Julie was mean and harsh and here she was filled with joy. Both Poppy and Barnaby were really sweet here and in your world they kept to their selves. And here both Frank and Eddie were a couple! And Howdy was very helpful! Everyone was sure different here.

"Hello Wally! I love your new outfit!!" Sally said, as she ran towards you guys and looked at you and tilted her head to the side as she looked at you. She's never seen you before.

R!Wally looked at her, new outfit? His outfit was a Rainbow stripe shirt. With Khaki pants as he was wearing a small red scarf around his neck. "This is my significant other...my lover."

Sally gasped and started to jump around. She looked like she was a little kid on a sugar rush. Then she ran off yelling. "WALLY HAS A LOVER!"

How odd? You both look at each other and shrug as you guys were about to walk off a voice stopped you. "Hello, are you guys new Neighbors!"

You turn around and gasped. It was Wally! Well not your Wally. He looked exactly the same. Besides the outfit, it honestly freaked you out. You quickly hid behind your Wally.

Both of the Wally's looked at each other as they studied each other. R!Wally spoke up. "It seems like we're in the wrong Neighborhood. We were leaving."

But Wally looked at him, and chuckled. "Non Sense! I'll help you guys! Come follow me." He said in a firm but friendly tone. As you guys had no choice, you followed this Wally. This Wally walked you over to his house. Hmm..His house is also alive. As he invited you guys in he looked at both of you. Well especially at you.

His eyes never left you. It was honestly kinda creepy. As you guys sat down on his living room.

You were sitting by your Wally. You looked down as you still felt uneasy around the other Wally. You don't know but something about him seems really creepy and uneasy.

"So, do you guys care to explain how you guys got here?" Wally said. As he narrows his eyes at his other self. "And if you don't mind explaining who this is." He said pointing at you.

R!Wally grabbed your hand. He smiled at you assuring you everything is going to be okay. And then he looked over at the other Wally. "First off we don't know how we got here. We kinda just showed up. And second this is my lovely significant other Y/N."

Wally growled to himself, why didn't he have someone like you. He had to win you over, he didn't know you but he does know that you belong to him and HIM ONLY!

"Hmm how interesting...I don't have a Y/N for myself." Wally said as he looked at you. His pupils dilated. He was smiling big. He wanted you...he needed you.

You look away, as you try to hide from him. Using your Wally as a protective wall. He noticed this and placed an arm over your shoulder. "Shh it's okay sweetheart, well get back to our neighborhood soon."

You just nodded and smile. This made Wally angry but then he smirked to himself. As he stood up walking closer to you guys. "Why don't I help you guys out."

You and Your Wally look at each other as you guys had no choice and nodded. He smiled at both of you "Wonderful! Now new friends! Follow me, I think I might have an idea where you guys came from!"

Wally took you and R!Wally out for a walk. He walked you guys away from the neighborhood. He was ahead of you guys, you just followed behind. Holding onto R! Wally's hand. You didn't trust the other Wally. Something about him was off, some evil...

As you guys continue to follow him there was a loud "THUD"

You turn around and see R!Wally on the floor holding onto his head. And seeing Wally holding a piece of wood. Wait where did he get that? And wasn't he in front of you guys! How did he appear behind you guys?! As you were about to help R! Wally up Wally grabbed you quite quickly. As he held you close.

"You're mine now, and only mine! Why didn't I get a Y/N! Why didn't I get a sweetheart!" He began saying, as his grip tighten against you.

You whimper out, trying to get away from him. R! Wally looked at you and at the other Wally. Something inside of him snapped, seeing you being held like that made him feel something. Something he's never felt before. Jealously.

Your Wally quickly got up and charged towards the other Wally. "LEAVE MY SWEETHEART ALONE!"

Wally laughed and pushed you to the side as he walked towards the other Wally. "Oh? Didn't like that? Well what are you going to do about that ha ha ha ha!"

"Glad you asked!" R!Wally hissed and punched the other Wally in the face, causing him to stumble.

Soon after both Wally's were on each other. Throwing punches and kicks. You just stood there in horrors, you didn't know how to help. But you've never seen your Wally act like this. It was something new.

"Please! STOP!" You yell out, crying out. As you tried to pull off Wally off of your R!Wally an elbow came in contact with your face.

Wally accidentally elbowed your face. This made R!Wally even angrier. "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He yelled out, giving Wally a final punch before running to you.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" R!Wally asked you, as he checked on you. Thank God there was no cut or blood. But you looked at him and tear up not paying attention to what happened to you. You just saw how best up he was and broke.

"Oh baby, are you okay?" You asked him. To which he just nodded and smiled. "Yes I'm alright sweetheart just worried about you."

Wally couldn't help but growl softly as you looked at both of you. He was envy that he didn't have a lover, why did this faker have one. Was the world against him? He just kept looking at you guys. He needed to win you over somehow.

As you guys started to get up, you looked over at the other Wally. Scoffing at his direction. "Thanks for the help asshole."

Walking away from him, you held onto R!Wally's arms as you both walk hopefully you guys find a way back to your neighborhood. As you guys walked off leaving behind Wally. He ran back to you guys.

This time he appeared in front of you guys. Holding flowers in his hands. You guys stopped in your tracks and R!Wally put a hand in front of your body, protecting you. As you were behind him, you stare at Wally. What does he need now?

"Haven't you done enough?" R!Wally said. Stopping in his tracks as he saw the flowers. Is he really trying to win you over? How funny! "It's funny how you're trying to win over my sweetheart."

Wally didn't pay attention to him but he looked at you, you just hid behind your Wally more. Whimpering.

"Please....Y/N I know we are meant to be together! Please I need you, the second I saw you it was love at first sight. You'll be my light to my darkness... you'll be my candy apple." Wally said, as he held up the flowers. As he started to walk towards you guys.

Both you and R!Wally started to back backwards. He held both his arms up. Protecting you. "I don't think my Sweetheart wants nothing to do with you."

Wally didn't pay attention to him, his words just went into one ear and out the other. Wally just kept holding on the flowers, hoping you'll give him a chance.

You were getting overwhelmed, as you heard his words. You didn't know how to feel. He wasn't your Wally but he looked like yours. And that's what really got you.

Then all of the sudden both of them were looking at you. You were about to tear up. "Are you okay Sweetheart?" R!Wally asked you.

You nodded "I don't know how to feel. It just hurts seeing him talk to me like that. I know he's not you but he looks like you." You say, feeling ashamed.

This made Wally smile. he had hope. "I'll give you the best life my Candy Apple!" He said taking a few steps towards you guys. "Why don's you choose instead?" He stood in front of R!Wally smirking.

R!Wally looked at you and at him was he really saying that? Why would you choose this Wally over your actual Boyfriend? He felt it again.... Jealously fill his body. He then pushed Wally quite hard.

Wally was taken back a bit, as they were about to throw a punch at each other you got in the way. Specifically you in front of one of them, holding your hands up. Protecting him. Both of them stopped.

Now you have to choice who it was....

Now if choose your Sweetheart R!Wally

He smiled at you, he knew you would never let him down. He was happy that you protected him. "I love you Sweetheart, I knew you wouldn't leave me for him."

To which you just smiled and nod, both looking at Wally now. He was sad, you could see the tears starting to form in his eyes. It hurt you honestly but that's only because he looked like your Wally.

Wally just stood there he was going to get you no matter what. He just dropped the flowers and walked off.

Both you and your Sweetheart shared a kiss. Today was a crazy day. And you guys started to walk off. Hopefully you guys make it back to your own neighborhood.

Little did you guys know was that Wally would soon follow you with a knife and rope...you belong to him and choosing him over him was your first mistake. Wally was going to show you that your his, that your his Candy Apple.

Now if you Choose Wally Darling

R!Wally just stood there, shocked that you picked him! His eyes started to fill up with tears. He didn't expect you to leave him like this. "Sweetheart.....Don't tell me you're picking him over me?"

You didn't know why you picked him over your actual boyfriend. Maybe it was the guilt or maybe not. As you didn't know what to say so you just looked down and stood by Wally's side. Making Wally smile big, wrapping an arm around your waist.

He brought you close to himself and placed a big kiss against your lips. Making R!Wally whimper. his heart breaking. "Fine, then this is it. farewell my Sweetheart, I'll always keep a place in my heart for you. Maybe in the next lifetime we will be back together."

And with that R!Wally left, leaving you guys alone. Did you make the correct choice? A few tears slipped from your eyes.

Wally wiped them away and smiled. "Shh don't cry my Candy Apple. Come let's go back to the neighborhood. You have a new life ahead of you."

Damn I was tearing up writing that last part! But I hope you enjoy this uwu

[my-current-obsession]

Something I both love AND hate about FF7 (the original game and everything after, including the Remake trilogy) is that it is just ambiguous and/or player-driven enough that no matter which side of the love triangle you fall on (assuming you do in fact ship Cloud with one of the girls), the majority of fans for that ship are 100% CONVINCED it's the correct/canon option.

Like, certain scenes are definitely up to interpretation, and people are going to thus have varying reads on those scenes and the characters/relationships the scenes are about. It doesn't help that several scenes change depending on the player's choices, which acts as a confirmation bias as you naturally get more time and romantic moments with the girl of your preference. It really seems to me that MOST people who ship Cloud and Aerith have one solid interpretation (with a plethora of supporting evidence) of the series and the romance, while most people who ship Cloud and Tifa have their own solid interpretation with plenty of evidence that is VASTLY DIFFERENT from the Clerith reading of the game.

This is not a case of "one ship is clearly, explicitly canon and fans of the opposition just like their pick better and/or think it made more sense narratively and WISH it was canon" - for an example of that, look to the Avatar the Last Airbender shipping wars. This is a case where both sides literally interpret the story just differently enough that they come to entirely different conclusions about which girl is Cloud's true love. And if either side reaches out to try and explain their viewpoint to the other, they're just met with "uh, no. You're wrong." Try and explain what Cloud might be thinking in a given scene with one of the girls, why he acts a certain way... "That's not it at all, where are you getting this? Are you delusional?"

Like, I am a Clerith shipper. I have played all the games in the compilation and watched Advent Children. I tried to be as completionist as possible, even. And I came out on the other side of really digging into the story of this game loving Cloud and Aerith's dynamic and pretty firmly convinced they were canon. Or as canon as possible in the timeline where she died.

As any Clerith fan who participates in the fandom would know, if you try and explain your interpretation of these characters and the romance to a diehard Cloti supporter... you're met with a lot of "you're misinterpreting! Cloud and Aerith were just friends! She loved Zack to the end and Cloud loved Tifa since childhood and never stopped! Also Aerith is actually BAD for Cloud because she's too pushy/abrasive. She's not helping him open up, she's just forcing him to go along with her and making him uncomfortable!"

All of this is of course infuriating, but I'd like to think I'm self-aware enough to know we are kind of guilty of the same thing. The majority of Tifa fans are SO happy about the kiss in Rebirth, while we're over here dismissing it because, one it's optional, and two Cloud is "obviously" using Tifa as a rebound or settling for her since Aerith is seemingly unavailable. But that's not how Cloti fans see it at all.

We can talk until we're blue in the face about how TIFA deserves better than Cloud because she shouldn't be the second choice - the one he settles for. But I think most people who really love Cloti genuinely don't see it that way. In their eyes, she's NOT second-best. Cloud loved her all along and this kiss is finally confirming that. And nothing we say will dissuade them, just as nothing they say will actually change OUR minds about Clerith.

It is honestly really difficult for me to try and see the story and romance the way Cloti fans do, but I know the reverse is also true. Both groups of fans interpret the characters and relationships differently. The compilation ALLOWS us to interpret them differently. And this is why the ship war for a game from 1997 is still raging on.

Because both camps are certain they're right, they defend their position viciously. Sometimes that means invading the "other side" to tell them how wrong they are. This discussion/rant was prompted by a Cloti fan on a Clerith vid who wanted to debate MY comment about how wonderful the ship was and how good they were for each other. He was "confused" and "concerned" because Clerith fans were reading the story wrong or warping it to suit our ship.

I wanted to tell him, "buddy that's what YOU'RE doing". I wanted to write a goddamn essay explaining why Clerith is canon actually. But considering in my INITIAL comment that he first responded to I'd already brought up why I thought Clerith was great, and he was IGNORING that... I knew it would be pointless. There is nothing I could possibly say that would change his mind. There is nothing he could possibly say that would change my mind.

As long as both sides of this war are fully convinced they're right, this war is going to be endless and brutal. And that's why my absolute biggest fear for part 3 is an open, ambiguous ending regarding the ships. Maybe it will canonize nothing. Maybe it will canonize BOTH by having the actual ending change depending on which girl the player favors.

Either route will offer no relief to this eternal battle. I would honestly prefer for Cloti to explicitly and unambiguously win than an ending where neither girl does. Because I can accept a loss. I can accept being told that actually I WAS interpreting the story wrong, but I'll only accept it from the text itself. If anything, a Cloti ending might encourage me to go through the entire compilation again trying to view it with that canon couple in mind. I'm sure I'd see things differently, even if I'd always have a place in my heart for Clerith. And I sincerely hope that if Clerith were to win that Cloti fans could do the same.

All I know is that I'm sick and tired of this ship war. I personally have never gone after Cloti fans or engaged in Cloti content with the intent to debate or hate on the ship. But I don't speak for all Cleriths. I'm sure at least a few fans of my ship are guilty too. I have seen many obnoxious Cloti fans invading our spaces to disparage us - mostly on YouTube and Twitch, less here on Tumblr - but I KNOW there are plenty of kind Cloti fans who just happily enjoy their ship and leave us to ours as well.

At the end of the day, regardless of how part 3 ends things, I just wish we could live in peace. Please enjoy your ship. Your interpretation of the text and romance is valid. But so is mine. If neither side can agree, then the best thing to do is leave each other alone.

[tianasficrecs168]

Kimetsu no Yaiba fic recs

Some of these are juvenile and silly (case in point: "Right here, on my phone", Zenitsu uses flirt: it's super effective!) but I like them.

Also, any reader stuff you see that's on my list is quality - as in, the character that's supposed to be the reader (us) has just enough of a personality that I really just consider this an OC fic with weird pronoun use.

On a completey unrelated note, I'm going to strangle Surveycorpjean specifically. Their fics are so fuckin good omg, I lose my shit every time.

Anyway, you know the drill.

A black dot • means it’s a one-shot

A heart ♡ means it’s focused on Sexy times (it’s pure filth PWP, or like, a plot focused on getting to the porn part lol)

Brackets (…) means it's still being updated/not done/WIP – and I'm paying close attention to it

Esselle: “Fuwafuwa” (Tanjirou/Inosuke) • Inosuke likes it when people tell him he's great at things, because it's true, and they should all acknowledge how powerful he is. But whenever Tanjiro does it, it makes him feel… weird. -- ふわふわ (fuwafuwa) can mean several different things: 1. Fluffy; soft. 2. Light and airy. 3. The way Tanjiro makes Inosuke feel.

Perliegrimm: “Tempura” (Tanjirou/Inosuke) • Inosuke’s habit of ranting to Nezuko is one borne out of the available knowledge that she can’t gossip to anyone- thus making her the perfect confidant in aiding (and concealing) his secret feelings for a certain swordsman. At least… That’s what he thinks. (Not that Inosuke necessarily thinks.)

Horae: “The Boy in the Box” (Tanjirou/Zenitsu) Nezuko didn’t think much of the boy sobbing in the road, until he protected Tanjiro. Tanjiro knew Zenitsu was different when he first met him, and couldn’t help but chase the scent peaches and kindness, literally. It’s only fair that he take care of Zenitsu, after he got hurt protecting him, right? Role Reversal AU: Where Nezuko is a demon slayer and Demon!Tanjiro immediately takes an interest in Zenitsu. Takes place from Nezuko and Zenitsu’s meeting to the gang's recovery in the butterfly estate.

Kinyve: “Right here, on my phone” (Tanjirou/Zenitsu) Zenitsu has a magical device that keeps track of his relationships in real life with cute hearts, kind of like an otome game! Wait, why does Tanjirou have bombs? what do the bombs mean does Tanjirou hate him oh fuck Tanjirou hates him wh-

Kinyve: “Lean on” (Tanjirou/Zenitsu) • Zenitsu's about to get a stiff neck if this guy doesn't get a move on.

 Kinyve: “The Transmigration of Kaigaku Inadama” (...) (SI!OC/Rengoku) Kaigaku thought that was it. After jumping off the bridge, he’d be dead. Or at least, he should be. Instead, he woke up staring up at a dazzling blue sky, the sickeningly sweet scent of peaches wafting through his nostrils, and his head on a particularly sturdy rock.

Bonsaiy: “Worship the flame” (Sanemi/Giyuu) •♡ Sanemi encounters a demon with a pesky lust-related Demon Blood Art in the south of Honshu, and heroically exterminates it before it can make prey of anymore innocent humans. This fic is not about that. This fic is about the aftermath, and about Giyuu finally becoming closer to Shinazugawa. Just... not in the way he probably first thought about.

Bonsaiy: “The troposphere in his eyes” (Sanemi/Giyuu) • Shinazugawa Sanemi, Tomioka Giyuu, and approximately 25 cliché fanfiction tropes.

Grenades: - “So full of love (I could barely eat)” (Sanemi/Giyuu) • “...Do you think I’m a bad cook?”  A gust of air pushes its way through Sanemi’s open mouth. “What?”  Tomioka flushes- no, he blushes, ears and cheeks dark- and looks away. “The ohagi. Was it bad?”  Sanemi was expecting Tomioka to kill him, or mock him- but this is so, so much worse.

Bloodsbane: - “Warm Body, Soft Breath” (Tanjirou/Inosuke) “What are you two doing?” “It’s just cuddling, Inosuke.” The strange eyes of the boar mask tilted back in the Kamado siblings’ direction. “What’s cuddling?”

Novashyperion: “There’s Room Here For Two” (Inosuke/Zenitsu) • Inosuke has no sense of personal space, and Zenitsu learns that the hard way. It becomes a lot easier as time goes on. - 3 Times Inosuke used Zenitsu as a bed/pillow, and 1 Time Zenitsu did the same.

Glueskin: “They say there’s good grief” (Sanemi/Giyuu) but how can you tell it from the bad? or, giyuu begins the painstaking process of trying to remember how to be a functional human being.

Favspacetwink: “Peace in your violence” (Sanemi/Giyuu)♡ • “Mmnh - mmnh - mmnh-” “Better keep it down, Tomioka,” Sanemi breathes in his ear. Giyuu groans into the hand covering his mouth. “What did I just fucking say?”

JuniRiceBall: “Rip and tear” (Sanemi/Giyuu)♡ • For a mission, Tomioka Giyuu has to borrow one of Shinazugawa Sanemi's yukatas. Too bad it causes one of them to overheat.

Neoqueenserenity: “Jealous of the Moon” (Sanemi/Giyuu) • "Shinazugawa, I'm not taking your last name unless I'm getting something out of it." Before he realized what he'd said out loud, he noticed the wind pillar's face contort in rage. “WAIT NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT—” He ducked on instinct, barely missing the fist aimed for his skull. Or: Giyuu and Sanemi are sent on a mission together to take down a demon who targets brothers, and they pretend to be siblings. It does not go well.

Orenji: “Home is with you” (Sanemi/Giyuu) • Sanemi’s face crumples. “Fuck,” he says, huffing out a short laugh, throwing his head back. “You’re gonna make me cry. I hate you.” “You don’t,” Giyuu says, confidently, fondly. “You love me. Just as much as I love you.” (Giyuu has never believed in fate, but meeting Sanemi again hundreds of years later seems like the Universe is giving them one more shot to get it right.)

Pinkichor: “Comfort of a Storm” (Tanjirou/Zenitsu) • Zenitsu’s entire body seemed to drop like he was exhausted without the will to take another step. “Tanjiro...doesn’t your blanket smell good enough? It’s certainly less weird.” Tanjiro wrapped his arms around Zenitsu, shaking his head, pulling cloth with the movement. “This is better.” Zenitsu tried his very best to walk forward with Tanjiro affectionately attached to his back, but Tanjiro picked up his feet when Zenitsu did, and the only thing he succeeded in was bringing Tanjiro to his chosen futon.

Frogsterz: “To be special” (Tanjirou/Inosuke) • “Shut up!” Inosuke wants to scream, but then he realises Tanjirou absolutely must not wake up and settles for a death hiss, hands curling against his sides. Stupid thinking stupid foresight stupid— “I don’t think about those kinds of things! They’re a waste of time! And pack means family!" “Well a pack doesn’t have to be blood-related, I don’t think,” Zenitsu flops onto the grass and stares at the sky. “I think having someone to love would be a very nice thing to have, you know. The whole—not being alone thing, not being given up on thing.” (Or, Inosuke is special to Tanjirou. Tanjirou is special to Inosuke. They've really got to work on their communication.)

 Frogsterz: “Christ, just hold still” (Sanemi/Reader) There are many things that after a year of being in the Demon Slayer medical corps you’ve gotten used to. The stench of ash and blood in the air. The sight of half-eaten, half-chewed bodies strewn across the floor. Applying tourniquets, lopping off limbs when they’ve been beyond saving, patching up the lightly and the grievously injured. You can handle just about anything now. But this? This asshole who keeps running away from you and your attempts to stop him from fucking bleeding out in a forest? He really pisses you off.

Kenmagoesblep: “Human manners 101” (Tanjirou/Zenitsu/Inosuke) • Being an uneducated feral boy, Inosuke gets thrown off, confused and overwhelmed over the smallest, stupidest things. It’s really embarrassing. So, while they’re not obliged to do any of this, Tanjiro and Zenitsu have this nonverbal agreement that they’d do their best to teach Inosuke some basic human knowledge. Building pillow forts, however, doesn't qualify as such, yet here they are.

StrawBunni: - “Zenitsu uses flirt: it's super effective!” (Tanjirou/Zenitsu/Inosuke) Sensing that the conversation is done, Zenitsu pushes away from the door and continues heading towards the roof, thinking through what he just heard. Flirting to get what you want, huh? Would that actually work for someone like him too? or High School AU where Zenitsu decides to try and use flirting to get Inosuke and Tanjiro to follow the dress code and ends up with two boyfriends instead, which for some reason he didn’t see coming.

Redyarns: - “Acoustics” (Zenitsu/Tanjirou) • “Well,” Zenitsu sighed, finishing the wrap and tucking it with a good pull. He needed to thank his Gramps for teaching him how to treat minor wounds. “Be more careful, okay? You’re the best one out of all of us, we can’t lose you to a minor demon.” “I love you,” Tanjirou said, and it came out breathy, like he hadn’t meant to say it. Zenitsu snorted and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Love you too,” he said sarcastically. “Huh?” Tanjirou said. “I love you too?” Zenitsu repeated slowly, now getting confused when Tanjirou’s sound became sour with disappointment. “Uh, right? We’re friends? We are friends, right?” He said, suddenly nervous. “Yes, of course we are,” Tanjirou said immediately, and though there was still that sharp twang of sourness in his sound, at least he was smiling. Weird. *** Five times Tanjirou confessed and one time Zenitsu got it.

Kagshina: “Ignite” (Tanjirou/Zenitsu/Inosuke) • Inosuke’s chest clenches without explanation. Whatever this feeling is, he doesn’t like it. Tanjiro’s not supposed to cry. Tanjiro’s supposed to be strong, like him. He punches Zenitsu’s shoulder. “Why the hell is Tanjiro crying?! That’s supposed to be your thing!” (In which Inosuke witnesses affection and there’s lots of crying.)

xtwilightzx (blackidyll): “Daybreak” (Tanjirou/Giyuu) • Giyuu is asleep on his side, head turned towards Tanjirou, close enough that Tanjirou would barely need to stretch to touch him. Tanjirou just looks— —and the wonder sets in slowly, like dawn gradually seeping colour into the darkness of the night.

Surveycorpjean: “Killer Downpour” (Inosuke/Tanjirou/Zenitsu) Once again, the world feels so small, and Tanjirou’s heart feels so big.

[1tsteatime]

REFERENCE TO JON AND MARTIN IN EPISODE 17

RIGHT HELLO I NEED TO KNOW I'M NOT CRAZY HERE.

I loved episode 17, and this isn't even to talk about the VERY interesting details to do with Celia at the start, and the jmj error at the end (trust me, those are whole crates of worms to be opened), but this post in particular is about a very quick, very sly detail at the start of the statement.

Allow me, if you will, to quote directly from the transcript:

"Anyway, there was a new receptionist behind the old front desk, some big, soft-looking guy who stumbled over every word. A year ago, it would probably have wound me right up, but what can I say? Therapy works.

There was another patient too, some bookish-looking guy with serious city miles. I used to play the game “what are you in for,” where I would pass the time guessing… well. You know. In my head he was definitely some kind of weird pervert, really into stroking orchids or something."

PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE HEARING SEASON 1 JON AND MARTIN? Let's check the list:

Big, soft looking guy: that runs true with every canon description we've heard about Martin, not to mention ALL the fanart. Not to conflate fanon with canon, but here it's pretty cut and dry. Besides, 'stumbled over every word'? Now that is Martin to a tee, particularly in season 1.

Bookish-looking guy: oh, it's not like we know a certain stuffy archivist who is known for saying 'good lord' and describing merry-go-rounds as 'thrilling'. Again, I'm not saying those are the same thing but COME ON. The next bit is also interesting: 'serious city miles'. That can refer to someone who looks rough due to life incidents or substance use, and we do know that Jon is a smoker. The stroking orchids bit I have no clue about, likely just a funny line.

Their roles in this cameo are interesting as well; Martin as a receptionist and Jon as a patient. Besides thinking of a dozen fanfic AUs that would leap from this topic, it sort of reverses the power dynamic? Well, not exactly, but the roles do make sense given what we know about them: Martin being very caring and compassionate, but not the most qualified, and Jon's mental state being...less than stellar, this totally checks out.

Now, I'm not banking any firm theories on this; honestly I think we're still too early in the podcast to have a semblance of the 'real' plot, but if this is foreshadowing instead of just a cute nod to the characters, here is the proposal I'll make:

What if the dimension shifting didn't happen perfectly? This episode already deals with identity, and body vs mind vs soul. What if that is Jon and Martin's actual bodies, but their souls got separated? Now these incorporeal souls need a host...maybe an old computer database? What if those 'city miles' weren't just any old marks, but worm holes, desolation burns, our Jon's scars and wounds. What if their bodies have forgotten what happened to them?

There is a good chance that this goes totally nowhere. Still though, I'm calling it early. So excited to see where this all goes!

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

usamericans are asleep time to post unpopular opinions.

personally i dont think that the usa or any european country are more or less progressive or have more or less issues with social inequalities, they just take on slightly different forms. thats not what i want to talk about.

what bothers me personally with usamericans is that most, even the „progressive“ ones, dont seem to reflect their own hegemonial thinking. even the ones who are into social justice dont critically analyse how being socialised in the usa as an usamerican is impacting their thinking and actions, it seems to only be allowed from a perspective of race but not nationality. and i think this is an issue because the us are the most powerful country in the world and do teach its citizens certain self-perception to cement its power. for example, i feel like usamericans never know when to shut up. many seem to think that their input is not only valuable but wanted when often it really isnt. so many act like theyre the main character, even towards each other. many usamericans dont even think about the grip their culture has on other countries but there is no reverse, its a one-way street. i think this is an issue with english first language speakers in general but especially with the us since australia is isolated and the uk is also an island with a more peculiar than palatable culture, there is no australian or british hollywood which exports usamerican thinking on a mass scale, for example. usamericans dont even realise how many of their conceptualisations are usamerican and cant and shouldnt be applied or expected from others. how many sociocultural controversies start in the us and swap over to other countries, specifically liberal ones. etc. a lot of usamericans seem to have a heightened sense of self-importance and i think its because the us acts like its the default and everyone else is different. which is partly true seeing as trump for example was a blueprint for rightwingers all over the globe. and this seems to impact the way usamericans see themselves, no matter where on the political spectrum. so much is catering to you, so many of your ideas and words are adapted by others, so there must be something special about you. and even usamericans who are critical of the usa often fail to acknowledge this, or they would hold themselves differently in conversation and debate.

nationalism is an issue in every country but this kind of hegemony is specifically usamerican.

[harrowharks-iliac-crest]

Lyctorhood

Worldbuilding/Lore

<< Previous: Necromancy | Masterpost

-

You become a Lyctor by utilising the "Eightfold Word" and absorbing the soul of your cavalier. At least, that's what all the current and hopeful Lyctors thought before the revealing chapter at the end of Harrow the Ninth. There appears to be a way that you can gain Lyctoral power without killing cav or necro. Though so far, only John did this with Alecto, who is a special case. Anastasia almost managed, according to John, who admits to killing her cavalier. John is probably lying about some or all of this - maybe Anastasia got too close to doing it right, and he couldn't risk all his secrets being unveiled, so he killed Samael in order to save face. Maybe if he'd let Samael live, they would have attained perfect Lyctorhood.

I'm reasonably certain that you can also attain Lyctorhood by fusing souls in the body of the cavalier. A current example of this is Gideon the First, and Pyrrha, who mentioned Gideon "took more", and he is described as unusually buff for a necromancer. Could it be that they attained Lyctorhood "in reverse", using Pyrrha's body? Or is their body an unholy fusion of the two bodies? It's not made entirely clear - Pyrrha refers to it as "his body", which leans towards the second option, but her eyes are described as suiting the face more, which favours the first.

It's said that the cavalier part of the Lyctors have no sense of self, only fighting muscle memory. I highly doubt that this is even a little bit true. It's at least partially untrue - Pyrrha is an example, as is Gideon the Ninth. What about Naberius, then? Alfred and Cristabel? What about Alecto?

(Alecto is a special case, again, we'll get to her.)

I'm fully not ruling out the possibility that the cavs are all still in there, and while the necro parts are dipping into the river to hunt revenants and make wards against Resurrection Beasts, the cavaliers in the bodies could easily be plotting. The cavaliers could all be on Eden's side, for all we know - we don't know where Pyrrha's allegiance lies. And we Know that all Lyctors have had dealings with them at some point. (I'm still very much expecting that to include Ianthe and Harrow, btw.)

I think all those times when the souls of the necromancers were in the River, the cavaliers were busy plotting with each other in their necromancers bodies.

All that aside - in what we see as "normal" Lyctorhood, the only visible part of the cavalier inside the necromancer's body are the eyes. This leads me to believe that Lyctorhood isn't just a fusing of souls, but a fusing of brains.

Anatomically, the eyes are a part of the brain. We've seen people with golden yellow and with lilac eyes, unusual colours for eyes to be. Could be a result of genetic altering? But in Lyctors, the eyes change, and in Ianthe's case, keep fluidly changing - in Harrow and Gideon's case, and evidently in Gideon and Pyrrha's, the eyes are an indicator of which soul is "present", awake.

Narratively, souls and brains are inherently linked. Brains and minds are basically interchangeable. In order to kill something - a planet; a revenant - you have to kill its body, and you have to destroy the brain in the river. You can go into the River as a mind only, or take your body with you. Oh, speaking of...

>> Next: The River

[atamascolily]

Some Thoughts on Power Levels in Thunderbolt Fantasy

@jafndaegur got me thinking about this, so strap in because this is a long one!

tl;dr: Narrative casuality is linear for characters and the audience, and non-linear for writers and analysts; power levels in Thunderbolt Fantasy are a perfect illustration of this, thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Fight scenes are a major component of Thunderbolt Fantasy, but who wins and who loses is determined less by the absolute power levels of the respective parties, but by the needs of the narrative. There's a tendency to think of it as the other way around because that's how it initially appears to us as viewers--we see the outcome and think one caused the other. However, this is an illusion caused by the way we experience media. From a structural and compositional standpoint, the reverse is true--the story dictates the outcome, not the other way around.

For an example, let's look at Lian Qi's ill-fated fight against Sha Wu Sheng in Season 1. On the surface, it looks like Wu Sheng is considerably stronger, since he was able to kill Lian Qi in one blow. However, consider that Lian Qi's death is required for the story to work--if he survived and Wu Sheng didn't, it would be a different story entirely! This isn't what is usually meant by the phrase "doomed by the narrative," but in this case, it's an accurate description of the situation--there is no power level Lian Qi could possibly possess that would save him from Wu Sheng, since Wu Sheng's presence is required for the story as it stands to work.

Lian Qi's narrative role is to serve as a sacrificial lamb for Wu Sheng--that's his one (1) job and he's very good at it. We know that Wu Sheng is powerful, because he was able to effortlessly destroy a man of considerable skill and power whom Lin Xue Ya had just spoken highly of in the preceding scene. Saying that this means that Wu Sheng is thus a stronger fighter may be true, but it's not particularly interesting as an isolated factoid; what matters is what the fight reveals about the characters (that Wu Sheng is ruthless and determined) and how it advances and serves the story (gets him the Soul Echo Flute and a chance to reunite with Lin Xue Ya).

In other words, strength/power is correlated with victory, but correlation is not causation, even though we tend to interpret it as such because we experience narratives linearly, where cause comes before effect.

The other important thing to consider is that characters in Thunderbolt Fantasy are not simply discrete individuals--they also represent specific moral or philosophical positions. When they clash, the "strength" of the character has as much to do with the strength of this position as it does their physical prowess. This is true for most if not all of Gen Urobuchi's works, but it's more explicitly textual in Thunderbolt Fantasy, because in-universe, the character's "sword" is viewed as an extension of the self; it is primarily through conflict that this self becomes fully revealed.

Perhaps the best example of this is Lin Xue Ya's fight with Mie Tian Hai, in which the latter is fighting to preserve his philosophy that strength through the sword can only be attained a certain way. His physical defeat and the shattering of that worldview occur simultaneously; furthermore, his identity is so wrapped up in this particular point that he immediately kills himself in response.

[As an aside: Mie Tian Hai's suicide out of spite is foreshadowed by Can Xiong doing the same thing in the first episode when Shang Bu Huan defeats him. Can Xiong is not merely a loyal subordinate; he is enacting the teachings embodied by his master. Say whatever else you will about Mie Tian Hai, at least he isn't a hypocrite--he practices exactly what he preaches. There's a reason I refer to the Xuan Gui Zong as a "death cult"!!]

Taken together, these two factors--narrative purpose and philosophical position--provide a useful framework to make sense of conflict, and thus power levels, in Thunderbolt Fantasy. Here are a few examples:

-Shang Bu Huan vs. Lang Wu Yao in Bewitching Melody of the West -- Shang is older and more experienced than Lang in many respects, so it makes sense that he would win out here. However, what settles his victory isn't his physical skill, it's his moral clarity and sense of purpose; he knows who he is and that his cause is righteous.

Meanwhile, Lang is powerful, with martial arts from his unique upbringing combined with the magic of his innate heritage, but he is also confused and morally compromised through his allegiance to the corrupt Xi You imperial court, which ultimately gives Shang the upper hand. Note that this fight ends when Shang directly calls out Lang's ideas of good and evil, and Lang loses the will to continue; his doubts and uncertainty make it impossible for him to win. The climax of the movie is Lang coming to an emotional realization and gaining a corresponding power-up/magical boy transformation to go with it. Changing his philosophy increased his strength, not the other way around!

As Season 2 demonstrates, Lang's narrow-minded focus on good and evil have not changed by the end of Bewitching Melody, he's just altered the definitions so that Shang is now one of the good guys, and taken agency over his decisions instead of being a mindless tool for anyone else. This rigidness will continue to hold him back until he adopts a broader and more mature philosophy. This is especially important, because the Huo Shi Ming Huang fight in S3 demonstrates vividly that Lang's powers are fueled by his emotions; when unchanneled, he is capable of incredible destruction. (There's so much about that scene that is wonderful from an analytical standpoint, but my favorite part is Ling Ya muttering, "Oh, buddy, no" [paraphrase] right before all hell breaks loose; Ling Ya, as Lang's self-appointed mouthpiece, knows what's up.)

-Speaking of Huo Shi Ming Huang, the flashback in S3x06 is one of the few times we've ever seen Shang on the back foot. Not coincidentally, this fight is also characterized by Shang's hesitation and doubts as to the best course of action, which create a cascade of consequences leading to a Bad Ending of Mu Tian Ming's blindness and Shang's subsequent departure from Xi You. I've written elsewhere about how this outcome is also narratively determined in advance by the events of Season 1, which were written first even though they occur later in-universe, to the point where there's an entire mini-arc devoted to showing just how necessary this particular loss was; for better or worse, the entire story of Thunderbolt Fantasy rests on it.

-Xie Ying Luo vs. Shang Bu Huan in S2x09, "The Path of the Strong" - Up to this point, Xie Ying Luo's fighting style has been the opposite of the standard wuxia code of honor--she uses illusions and poisons and takes hostages rather than fight one-on-one. As Lin Xue Ya wryly points out in 2x04, this is the best way of dealing with a powerhouse like Shang Bu Huan (he even says it would be how he'd take Shang down!!!) but it's strongly implied that Xie Ying Luo relies on these methods because she doubts her own strength. [How much of this is due to misogyny is unclear, but there's no question it's a factor; Ba Wang Yu's character in S4 suggests she has taken the opposite approach to the same systemic forces with her emphasis on physical strength.] Xie's arc is characterized by her uncertainty and doubts, which send her on an increasing downward spiral (exposure to Di Kong's nihilism does not help!); even wielding Seven Blasphemous Deaths isn't enough to overcome it. However, after freeing herself from the demonic sword's thrall, Xie Ying Luo makes the unexpected decision to fight Shang one on one with her sword, something she has spent the entire show up to this point avoiding.

This makes no goddamn sense from a tactical perspective, but it's not about tactics or even victory. On a practical level, Xie Ying Luo is saving face--she knows she can't win, but if Shang defeats her and takes Seven Blasphemous Deaths, she can at least say that she didn't completely abandon her duties. She may have lost the fight, but she retains her honor, even if it means she can never return to Huo Shi Ming Huang's service.

Shang recognizes this, which is why he is so gracious to her after her defeat--he respects the courage it took to show up in the first place, and encourages her to redefine what it means to be strong in the first place. Again, we return to the idea that true strength isn't physical prowess, but moral clarity and certainty, which Shang possesses in abundance--and is also willing to pass along to others. Season 2 goes to a lot of effort to demonstrate Shang's mercy and compassion are strengths, not weaknesses, and this scene is further evidence of this.

Shang also believes that fate is not fixed and that people are capable of growing and changing if they choose to do so, which again gives him power over those like Sha Wu Sheng and Lou Zhen Jie, who believe themselves to be instruments of inevitability. (This is also what makes Shang Bu Huan endlessly surprising and therefore interesting and entertaining to Lin Xue Ya, but that's a whole 'nother story.) Unfortunately, Xie Ying Luo is tragically murdered by the very weapon she gave up (and by a man she trusted!!) and never gets to fully realize this, but she tries, damn it, even if it wasn't enough to save her in the end. This is one reason why Lang Wu Yao buries her even though they were enemies, because on some level he recognizes and honors that attempt, despite the fact he wasn't there to witness exactly what transpired.

I should also point out that while moral strength is a source of power, it's not the be-all, end-all--one reason why Lou Zhen Jie is so terrifying is because he no longer doubts. His logic and reasoning might be unsound, but he is so single-mindedly focused on his goal that he can plow through any obstacle single-handedly (pun intended). This is also what makes him such a great foil to Shang Bu Huan on multiple levels; Lou Zhen Jie is what would happen if Shang were evil/misguided/less ethical than he actually was. This is why Shang fighting alone can match Lou Zhen Jie but cannot win without something else to tip the scales.

Here's a fight that's interesting precisely because it didn't happen: Lin Xue Ya vs. Sha Wu Sheng. One reason why Lin Xue Ya refuses to fight Sha Wu Sheng at any point in Season 1 is that it would require Lin to reveal himself openly and intimately in a way he has no desire to do. Furthermore, it would also clash with the needs of the story, i.e., the big reveal of Lin's abilities in the final episode. Lin is so confident in his own abilities that he has no need to "prove" himself by fighting; just as his narrative foil Shang has no need to "prove" his own strength by picking stupid fights and does everything he can to avoid them. The primary difference between the two is that Lin spares his enemies so he can savor their suffering, while Shang spares his enemies so they can do better in the future.

This is why Shang repeatedly and emphatically insists that he and Lin have nothing in common--he sees the commonalities but the differences repel him even more because of it. Note that Shang indirectly critiques Lin's approach when he tells Xie Ying Luo that a truly strong person can spare someone's life and not have them come after him in revenge.... in essence, arguing that Lin's whole approach is fundamentally misguided. (This is also the second time he's done this in conversation with Xie Ying Luo; the first time was in 2x01 when he unfavorably compared her technique to Lin's. For someone who claims to want nothing to do with this guy, he sure thinks about him a lot!) Shang also has no intention of killing Lou Zhen Jie in the climax of S2; all he wants is to take Seven Blasphemous Deaths away from him.

[This leads to fascinating questions like "How will Shang deal with Huo Shi Ming Huang?" and "Can the guy who believes in the supremacy of fate and seeks to become Fate itself ever break free of it?" which I think we'll see in the final movie, so TBD.]

I'll also note that there is a tendency in modern storytelling to have power as the limiting factor for characters, whereas myths and epics give their characters free reign to do whatever they want, and as a story about archetypal characters with superhuman abilities, I think Thunderbolt Fantasy leans more towards the latter in many respects. Characters have exactly enough power to do what narratively needs to get done, no more and no less, so in that sense, it's a very efficient system.

I'll stop here because this is very long and rambling and I think I've demonstrated my point: for something so seemingly obvious and matter of fact, "strength" and "power" in Thunderbolt Fantasy, let alone comparing that of one character to another, is far more challenging than it appears on the surface, and contingent upon both the character's moral stance and the larger narrative of which they are a part. It's both deeper and far more interesting than "Character X is stronger than Character Y" (even if character X is stronger than character Y!).

[samueldays]

Reminiscing about the silliness that was Chungian Paranoia Combat in Exalted 2e, and the context for it. Long story of niche interest.

Dungeons & Dragons, and many RPGs that copied it, have a concept of "level up" once a character accumulates enough experience. Narratively, this is usually an expression of training and skills accumulated over time, and the Dungeon Master may enforce some required downtime and costs involved, but mechanically, the level up happens as a bundle of new character skills and powers packaged together when crossing a threshold. One day your character is level 6 with so-and-so many hitpoints, and the next day your character is level 7 with more hitpoints, a new feat, more skill points, a new spell known, a new class feature, and so on. These are packaged together for player convenience of bookkeeping. Games often have convenient abstractions like this.

Many D&D-like video games veered in a direction of even more convenient abstraction with the level up being a much-mocked "ding!" mid-combat immediately upon accumulating enough kills, sometimes refilling the health bar of a wounded character, raising stats and clearing status conditions. There were strategies designed around exploiting the mechanical abstraction of instant full healing.

The Exalted RPG went in mostly the opposite direction, unpackaging character improvements and skills to be separately bought and paid for in a modular pointbuy system, abolishing the abstraction of a character's "level", and specifying training times for learning new skills and capabilities and powers. It was enforced that characters needed to work at specific skills and spend time to improve themselves in that skill.

Exalted also took the worldbuilding route that character abilities were not simply mechanical abstractions of training, they existed in-universe, as discrete specific powerups. The mechanics are in a sense "true". There were powers to let you read other people's power level. There were powers to hide your power level. Powerups could be taught, you could gain hitpoints faster if someone with more hitpoints was teaching you How To Hitpoints. (One hitpoint improvement took 1-4 days.) On the character sheet, you'd have one or more "Favored Skills" that were faster to train and cost less XP, and in the setting, astrologers could read a child's fortune and determine what Favored Skill a child would grow up to have. This worked by association with one of the 25 in-universe constellations that were a 1:1 match to the 25 skills on the out-of-universe character sheet.

I think this was a bad decision, but it was an intriguingly original decision which led some interesting places at least.

So that's important context item #1: the stance that character powers are not abstractions but exist in-universe and affect the setting. This forfeits a lot of the "it's just a game" and "stop exploiting" defenses when someone exploits certain combinations of powers, more so because this was Exalted Second Edition, and the devs had plenty of opportunity to learn from First and avoid or patch exploits.

Important context item #2: the high lethality of Second Edition before massive errata and overhauls. Sometimes called "rocket tag gameplay", it had significant problems of design and balance.

Starting characters had 7 hitpoints, and gaining more hitpoints took time and xp that was not part of a levelup package, xp spent on hitpoints was xp you couldn't spend on becoming a swordsman or craftsman or whatever.

Starting weapons went up to damage rating 16. (Add wielder's strength, subtract target's armor, etc. Modifiers abound.) Damage was rolled, so a 16 damage hit meant grab 16 dice and each one that shows X or better results in hitpoint loss. This meant instant death by 7 hitpoint loss wasn't entirely guaranteed, but it was very much possible for starting characters to one-shot each other.

In D&D, hitpoints generally grow faster than damage; in Exalted, it was the reverse. Combat superpowers included a dozen kinds of "more direct damage" and another dozen of "more accuracy" (extra accuracy auto-converts to damage!) and "multiattack" and so on. Hitpoints could be bought at most 5 times, adding 1-3 hitpoints each time.

Add in the various Baleful Polymorph style effects that kill a character on contact while bypassing hitpoints, and you get a game with an annoyingly high chance of dying from a single attack in peer combat. It doesn't even require optimization, simply picking a 14L corebook starter weapon against a 7HP character. And Exalted is a setting with no resurrection spells.

The solution: Perfect Defenses, one of the standout gimmicks of the Exalted franchise. Spend 3-4 motes (spell points) on a Perfect Defense power and it completely nullifies a single attack against you.

This means your character's hitpoints are not your real hitpoints, your motes are your real hitpoints. When you run out of motes in peer combat, then you die in the next hit. The same motes are used to power your super attacks, so don't overcommit.

There were more problems, like the fact that you can't use the basic Perfect Defense against a surprise attack, so you need a surprise-negator power too. Skipping over several pages of similar mechanical minutiae, here's the approximate "Paranoia Combo" build described by forum poster Jon Chung (hence "Chungian") and his friends, in mechanics/name format:

Perfect Defense (Seven Shadow Evasion)

Surprise Negator (Reflex Sidestep Technique)

Step 7 Filter (Adamant Skin Technique)

Excellency (Dodge and/or Melee)

Defense Number Keeper (Shadow Over Water)

Multiattack Interruptor (Leaping Dodge Method)

This powers list is for Solars, but similar loadouts exist for other character archetypes. This renders peer combat in Exalted 2e pretty much solved, reducing the fun of the game a bit.

The best approach to character-building is to get this combo ASAP. The best approach to fights is to activate this combo every single turn, or a superset of it. You can switch out individual elements of it, like swapping Heavenly Guardian Defense for Seven Shadow Evasion (any step 2 PD will do), but using this combo reliably wins fights against people not using this combo. People not using this combo can die in one hit. People using this combo can live until they run out of motes to activate their Perfect Defense with.

Now, the game-mechanical reason for this to happen was mostly

#2: the high lethality of Second Edition

but the thing that threatened to become setting-distorting was

#1: the stance that character powers are not abstractions but exist in-universe and affect the setting

because the biggest and strongest default antagonist faction of Exalted (The Realm) has a lot of people with standardized superpowers and also has a long educational tradition of teaching the new generation to use their superpowers competently before sending them out to life-or-death challenges.

Which means that the default antagonists should know about and use Paranoia Combos if the GM is running them as intelligent actors rather than videogame mooks.

Which means that for PCs, buying the Paranoia Combo is near-mandatory. You buy it, or else The Realm kills you easily, because they have Paranoia Combos and you don't and they want to hunt you down and kill you. (Or The Lunars, Sidereals, Rakshasa, Akuma, or other superpowered peers who can get Paranoia Combos of their own.)

Jon Chung was forceful about expressing how "Paranoia Combo or die" flowed from the game's rules and setting assumptions, and a lot of people got mad at him for it, accusing him of twisting the game to his preferences. He said he didn't prefer this, he merely discovered and spelled out the implications. IMO he was correct and someone else would have discovered it eventually.

Part of what aggravated him over time, I think, was the very many dumb responses from people who didn't understand the problem, or who wrongly thought it was trivial to fix. He got vocal about it, people got scornful back at him.

"It's not a problem if you houserule it." - Your need to houserule shows there is, in fact, a problem. "Just ban baleful polymorph touch effects." - Those are not the only, nor even the primary problem here. "It hasn't been a problem in my game." - Followup questioning showed that this person's game was highly narrative and ignored the mechanics when inconvenient. "Double everyone's hitpoints." - 14 hitpoints still risks getting one-shotted by 16 Damage weapons.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Seungcheol (S.Coups) Perspective Reading

So, I have done a reading on a member from my favorite groups, except Seventeen, so thought I start working on them and there are 13 of them, so it is time to get started. I was stuck between him or my bias Woozi, but he pulled me in more, so will start with him. I am actually not that familiar with them to deeply as my other favorites, so it will be nice to look into these members. The song that popped up for him was Cheers by Rihanna and my thought was why!? Anyway, I can interpret that as he likes to have a good time, or he likes to cap off a hard workday or week with some drinks and a good time. I will now get into the cards with him.

So, he pulled me towards the Astrology deck first. The House 11 card came out reversed. I don't read these cards in reversed, but I felt there is a reason this was put that way. House 11 is about friendships, networks and likeminded people. With this being reversed, it is like he may not feel like he belongs or fits into a certain group. He may feel like an outsider. Now he gave me the Gemini and Aquarius card, which are all about networking, communicating, friendships, kin ship I am getting. He may feel out of place. I wonder if this has to do with him not being able to go to the Military with his brothers, like he feels like an outsider in that sense. The cards also talk about humanitarian and philanthropy in it, doing something that brings great benefit to others, his duty. It is like a sense of failure there. I am getting the wounded healer from the Chiron card I got. He might express his hurt through writing or communicating to others. He wants to do things for the greater cause. He is using the power of thought, logic, ideas and his mind to work through his hurt. He may have been destined to have this set back to spread awareness of something somehow. What that is I don't know, but there is something he should communicate to the collective that can change the perception of the collective or Korean society, since he is Korean.

So, on to the Dark Mirror deck I have. The Masquerade card came out in reversed, and once again that seems significant to me. It is like he wasn't able to put on a show. His true colors were revealed. Maybe he shown some vulnerability he did not like to show. There is kind of a blocked transition here. I see the number on the card, which adds up to 6, which makes me think of the 6 of wands and swords, which is about success and transition, it is like he was blocked from that. The cards kind of fell for him. There is a sense of regret he feels with this Gilded Regret card here. The number 5 is on this card, which is difficulty and challenges. He may have not been able to rise up to that. It is like parts of him that he may have not wanted to be shown were, something about him being revealed that he did not want. He may be pissed off at the world. He may feel things are a bit unfair. He may be seeing things from a negative perspective at the moment.

Now with the fated to suffer card, it is like he feels that could be his destiny. He may be tempted to do things that may put him on the wrong path. And may fall prey to addictive tendencies. He should be careful not to get tempted into doing things he may regret being in the headspace he may be in. I get the message the house of cards is falling from the Masquerade card in reversed. Now that is a system that is failing, or does that mean himself? Something is crumbling, maybe his mindset on how the system works. It is like he may see it as unjust and fu**ed up I am getting. Focusing in on the numbers on the card, so you got 5, which is disorganization, competition, fighting, conflict and 2 cards that equal to 7, manipulation, hiding, lies etc,. The one card that is 6 is reversed, which means blocked from transitioning, or moving ahead. This is weird and wild, don't have the full picture of what that means. He needs to be careful not to be tempted by something that may lead him down a path he does not want to go to. I am going to move on, because this is a bit confusing.

These cards are giving me whatever thoughts he has or beliefs he may have of this world and himself can be brought into reality. The power of his words. As people say words are spells. He should recognize if he says things about the world and about himself it will reflect back on to his reality. He has the power to make his world more positive or more negative by the magic of his words. Spirit wants to remind him that he is not alone, and that there are people who suffer the same consequences as him. But also, he has the power to comfort others. I am also getting bring awareness. He should also lean on his loved ones, be it family and members. He may feel alone, but that is just his perception, not the reality.

He should connect with himself from a place of love and self-acceptance. I feel he may lack a bit of self-awareness here. To connect with his heart center. I don't see him knowing the power he holds within himself. He should connect through his work. He has strong abilities to create. He is a creative individual, and he can utilize that to get to know himself, but also to help others. His creativity can be very therapeutic for him. He can mold things to how he wants. It is like there is a sense of control he may like, but this world is unpredictable, so it can knock him out a bit if it doesn't fit to his standards. He is consistent, loyal and dependable. Balance needs to be restored, not sure what that means, but getting that. There is power within himself, but if he can't connect with himself. He blocks his true creative potential. I see a lot of colors in these two cards. He needs to make his world a bit more colorful and reflect a beautiful world around him. What reflects back to him is what he believes. If he sees the world as dark and gloom, then that is what his reality will be.

He tries to seek enjoyment out of life. Although, he may see things in a negative light. He may know he should find enjoyment in it. He may seek enjoyment through his desires and external needs. Just going to say this, could be sexual desires that may help him find joy. It is like it is hard for him to look for the joy within himself, so he seeks it outside himself. But these pleasures are short time, and, in the end, he could find to regret that. Once again, I am getting there is something he should share with others, some wisdom he has. He could be a mentor or teacher to others. Light the way for others. He has a lot of knowledge and wisdom he can give to others. I just feel what he has experienced can be a lot of help to others so he should share that to others. I can also see him gaining guidance from others as well and gaining knowledge from them. He seems like the type that likes to learn and observe the world around him. He seems to be a bit of an old soul as well. I feel he may have experienced many lives here.

I am very surprised he gave me all Earth cards for my Tarot deck. With him being a Leo, he gives me more of an Earthy energy. I think I mentioned earlier, he really likes stability and security. For things to remain consistent. He is definitely showing this energy here. There is a sense of duty he feels he has, not sure why that came up, but that is what I get. It is like when things get a bit disorganized and out of order. He does not like it. I feel like him not able to do his service in the military is kind of bugging him, like he is let down he can't do it. This Virgo card that I got the keywords self-critical, sense of duty and being of service stick out to me. It is like it shook him a bit. He may be critical of himself about it. He is a very ambitious, hard-working person. He is very loyal to others and whatever cause he stands for. I say he is in a very practical energy at the moment. Focusing on his goals and working towards long-term plans. Just figuring out how to proceed in life and move forward. His energy seems serious and may lack a bit of playfulness. It is like get down to business and work energy, or he is trying to plan things out, being a bit meticulous about things. I am still trying to figure out what the song I got has to do with this reading. It may be that because he can be very serious. He needs a drink to let loose, or it is telling him to celebrate and have fun once in a while.

Well, this was an interesting ride. Not too intense, but not the lightest energy either, a bit of a mixture. His energy was a bit confusing in some parts, but I feel I got a bit of what was going on energetically with him. It was nice to get a bit of understanding of him, since I never really dug into Seventeen, even though they are one of my favorite groups, so I am excited to get to all of them eventually and step a bit into their world.

[shootingstarwritings]

FEStival Fiasco

Part 7

The Puppet that Played at being a Star

A lie.

That was all Centaurus could think when Professor Polaris said that.

“Y-You’re lying to me,” he said, wincing and chiding himself as he heard how shaky his own voice was. Why was he so nervous? His heart was pounding. Every pump was like a hammer to his temple. “You can’t be telling the truth… the whole war, being a lie?!”

It was far too ridiculous to be true.

No, it wasn’t just that.

If there truly was no war, then why was Centaurus born, nameless and abandoned, in those mines? Why did so many others before and after him? Why did so many of his fellow brethren die cold, hungry, alone, and in pain?

‘Did my suffering not matter? Did theirs? Did they all have no meaning?’

To believe the professor would be to accept those thoughts. And if Centaurus did accept them…

Why was he even here? Why was he even alive?

“Liar…! You piece of shit, I oughta kill you right here!”

Polaris’ expression remained unchanged; unwavering even as Centaurus charged him and grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt.

“Where the hell do you get off mocking me?!” Centaurus demanded, spit flying. “Huh?! You bastard, you better tell me the truth right now or—!”

“You already know a way to see if I’m lying or not.” Polaris quirked an eyebrow, licking his lips. “You’ve seen your hosts’ memories, haven’t you? Well, it works for each other as well.” He smirked. “It really makes you wonder what was the real purpose behind our species’ ability to interact and share with each other’s neural networks. Maybe we were meant to communicate better with each other this whole time, huh…? Centaurus, what do you think?”

Centaurus’ grip slowly loosened as he took in Polaris’ words. “You want me to bite you, as though I was possessing someone,” he said, arms fell to the side, hanging limply as though they were lead weights. “I’ve… I’ve never done something like this.” When had his host begun sweating so much? When did he start trembling? What was Centaurus so afraid of?

‘Why am I even here?’ Once more, that question came to him, but he quickly shook it away.”

“Curious?”

“… Of course I am.”

“Well? Are you going to do it or not?” Polaris, still smirking, tilted his head forward so as to touch Centaurus’ borrowed forehead with his own. “I have high hopes for you, Centaurus. Search my mind, and don’t hide away from the truth.”

“… Are you taunting me…? Centaurus asked, drained enough that he couldn’t even remain angry at Polaris.

Professor Polaris let out a chuckle, pulling Centaurus in for a tight embrace. “I saw your potential, y’know? That’s why I fought hard to allow the board of our academy to allow you to attend. And more specifically, to allow me to become your teacher. Haven’t you ever wondered why a former military commander became a professor? It’s because I insisted.”

Certain details made more sense, but there was still someone odd about all of this. “But, why? Why did you want me to join the academy? Y’know I was a worm, so then…?”

“Because whether they like it or not, it’s only by meeting another with widely different circumstances that these students’ worlds actually expand. Without you, there’s no way that any of them will ever grow. But the reverse also applies to you. There’s no way you will the true injustices of the world without witnessing those who inhabit it. This is how the seeds of revolution can be planted. It’s the only way that society will ever change.”

Centaurus, frowning, scoffed and pointedly looked away. “This is such bullshit,” he muttered. “So I was just a puppet for you to manipulate? A tool for your little play at a revolution?”

It always felt as though he was being pushed and pulled by forces beyond his understanding. Whether it was the Elites who looked down on him from their ivory world or the coach who stood before him, Centaurus was just dancing to a tune that only he couldn’t hear. “What am I, Polaris? Am I just something to be used, or am I someone who can choose his own fate? Am I… simply a worm…?”

Coach Polaris’ expression grew grim. A heavy silence spread throughout the dark room. To Centaurus, it felt like “Judgment Day,” an event that held considerable importance in his host’s mind. Yes, Centaurus’ world felt like it was about to crumble before him. His purpose seemed scattered in the wind, as though it was about to vanish when it was so close in his grasp. He thought that he was building his own fate, a path that he crafted with his own hands.

Yet… that was never the case.

“Who am I?” Centaurus asked again.

“You’re… you. That’s all. That’s what you decided for yourself, right? ‘Centaurus,’ named after the sun that everything in our world revolves around. That was the point, wasn’t it?”

Centaurus hesitated, just for a moment. “Yeah, but not quite. I… I loved that sunrise that I saw, the first time I ever left those tunnels. And, I wanted to be that for others. Other worms that had spent their lives underground. I wanted to be like that beautiful sight that inspired me to finally live—finally retake myself. If just another one of my brothers and sisters was inspired, then I’d make it all worth it.”

That settled it. The truth was right before him, and Centaurus would sooner die than allow it to escape his grasp. He carried not just his own life, but all of those that came and died before him in those damn tunnels. Centaurus nodded and stepped forward.

It began.

“Allow me to show you,” said Coach Polaris, walking in a circle as Centaurus slowly spun, eyes glaring down at Polaris’ host. They moved as though following a rhythm only they could hear. Somehow, it felt right. The two moved and swayed as they approached, their fingers intertwining as they waltzed in the dark. “Is this instinct? Fate?” asked Polaris.

Centaurus shut his eyes and shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m just doing what I’m supposed to.” He was leading for whatever reason. Was it his host’s idea? Muscle memories that were flowing out in this moment? “I’m doing what feels right.”

“It’s a forgotten dance in our people,” said Polaris. “We were meant to share our minds, our souls, with each other. But this hierarchy prevented that. This is the dawn of a new age, Centaurus. This is—”

“I don’t know if this is true or not yet,” growled Centaurus. “Let’s… Let’s just do this.” Deep down, he was trembling, but he threw himself towards the fire anyway. Centaurus leaned in and kissed Polaris’ host. He slithered through their intimate kiss into Polaris’ borrowed body.

The host choked and struggled as yet another creature slithered into his body. It was difficult for his body to withstand it as Centaurus crawled into his brain. The two snake-like creatures danced and chased the other's tail, following their instinct like always. An ouroboros. A dragon that would wrap around the world.

Centaurus' vision grew dark as foreign sensations flooded his body. It was a trade. Their minds, memories, souls, and hearts were all shared. It was an electric experience, somehow more intimate than sex yet somehow more universal at the same time. It was like he was ascending to the heavens or reaching Nirvana.

When Centaurus’ vision returned, he was staring up at a starry sky on unfamiliar soil. This wasn’t his memory, he had never seen this sight before. Yes, this was from Polaris. It was a hazy sight and he couldn’t move. It was like he was watching an old film that had been rescued from the clutches of being lost forever.

The stars looked more like streamers zooming by as fireworks lit up the night sky.

“You promised you would come home soon.”

Those weren’t Centaurus’ thoughts, but he heard them all the same.

“You promised you’d come back to them; and promised to come back to me. I waited for you on the ground, wishing on the stars that flew next to you to bring you back safe.”

A shooting star came barreling down the sky, a trail of smoke and flames right behind it. Centaurus’ heart raced as terror and despair flooded his mind.

“Why did you have to die…? I loved you. I loved you so much…”

His heart broke. Not Centaurus’, but Polaris. These were Polaris' thoughts. And the ship he Centaurus focused on carried the one whom he had longed for ever since he could remember. “I didn’t mind you finding another mate and building a family as long as I could remain by your side. How was I supposed to tell them you were gone? How could you take my love and leave me behind…?”

Zathina’s father, Altair, died on that day. His son, Vega, perished soon after in the same dogfight. There was little of each body to bury, a right both of them had.

Polaris mourned and suffered, and Centaurus felt each heartache as though they were his own.

‘So that’s why he wants to watch over her,’ thought Centaurus.

“All that remained of you was that child—Zathina. So I tried to help her, tried to keep her safe. She became hardened and strong, but I could still see the scars in her heart. She stood on her own, but it had crushed her completely to do so. It was like a vase that had been shattered and put back together. Though it still stood, it was far more fragile than ever before.

“And, I wanted to find out the truth. I wanted to know why you had to die, why this war that took you away continued to drag on despite victory after victory.

What was found… was schematics of the enemy’s ship, military plans based on their battle tactics, and receipts for expenses that had been kept secret. When Polaris found them, only one conclusion made sense.

“The ships you had fought that day… were built by our very own military. Not just on that day, but every combat you had ever flown on, and even before that. None of them were piloted by our enemy, the Carinos. In fact, they were more than likely extinct. Wiped out by us.”

When had the conflict ended…? For how long had the war been fabricated. How many of their own did the Emperor sacrifice for the status quo to continue? Those were the questions that raced through Polaris’ mind all those years ago. He had discovered the truth; he understood that there was no reason behind Altair’s death. He died for nothing. And a part of Polaris died along with him.

“I couldn’t stand being in that department for much longer. I left. I had to leave. If I didn’t, I was certain I would kill someone. Most of us there didn’t know the truth, but some of them did. Yes, the higher-ups must’ve known. I needed to leave and go elsewhere before I tried to make them pay. If I got myself killed before exposing the truth to everyone, I wouldn’t be able to avenge you, my love. So I left and joined the educational department. If I could make a difference with our youth, if I worked to change everything…”

It wasn’t long before Polaris discovered and joined an underground revolution. His eyes were open, and his mind would follow soon after. So much of life, even among the Elites, was hidden and censored by the Emperor and his council.

“Did you know, my dear Altair, that they no longer wish to be called ‘Worms?’ That’s right, they want to be Cosmopolitans; those who are found everywhere, those who are ubiquitous. Elites and Worms are to become useless terms. We all want to become Cosmopolitans. That’s what freedom is, right?”

Time passed, and eventually Polaris came to find someone named ‘Centaurus’ trying to apply to the academy. It had taken urging for the school board to accept him, but Polaris’ reputation was a major help. Perhaps his young one would join the revolution. Perhaps he would be a good influence on those Elites that had little knowledge of the people that were forced below them.

‘It was him… Polaris had been… guiding me along…

‘And… it was really a lie…

‘A lie… the war… the society that had been shaped by it… it was all falsehoods.

‘They died…

‘For nothing…’

“I’ll kill him. The Emperor. I swear I’ll kill him. I won’t rest until my hands are around his thorax.”

The last sight The Emperor would see was a shining star sending him to hell. Centaurus swore on that.

[toskarin]

while I'm on a STGposting kick, here's some lesser-known Hellsinker. soundtrack trivia that I couldn't justify putting in their own posts, pulled partially from old blog entries and also just the game itself (dude trust me)

stuff below the break is written without trying to avoid spoilers, because otherwise it'd mostly just be a huge block of censored text

see below list for bonus notes on certain points

in at least one instance, hiranyon (the name TONNOR was using at the time) played with the idea of having the boss themes start in mono and then explode outwards into stereo after the boss entered the stage. in the end, he opted for the music to make use of hard L/R panning instead, to represent the boss entering through the centre

Segment 1L Boss (F. Rex Cavalier) was titled Keep your dignity, and if that phrase being the title didn't give it away, hiranyon outright confirmed the foreshadowing to be intentional in a blog post talking about writing the song

Segment 4 Boss (Rusted Dragon) was titled Fade away. apostate with an added explanation of the intentional ambiguity in the title, with the apostate (the translation he gives is 背信者) being decided by the outcome of the battle

there was an old track called shrine.ogg which notably didn't sound even a little bit like a stage theme, especially not a stage theme like Shrine of Farewell. the pre-release song which has the most in common with the Shrine theme proper is actually titled boss3.ogg. if you think about the Shrine in the context of being a boss (which makes a weird amount of sense, it just doesn't register as one because it's kind of free-floating), I guess it could come third?

people used to theorise about Aozora/Aoxola, the final boss from Radio Zonde, being Lost Property 771. I don't really believe this is true, but it's worth pointing out that Aozora/Aoxola's hidden phase theme is incredibly similar to Shrine of Farewell, to the point where I wouldn't blame someone for thinking the Shrine theme is a direct arrangement. I'm actually still kind of suspicious, myself

speaking of Radio Zonde callbacks that imply... something? the string section in Fade Away. apostate appears to be an arrange of Opaque Heart from Radio Zonde

there are cat sounds in a startling number of songs. the earlier in the game the song is, the more distorted the cats will be, but they're still almost omnipresent. the most obvious are in the second to last phase of the GARLAND theme where there's a constant choir of cats singing the melody, but you can also hear them in Segment 4 and 5 (both sides, stage and boss theme) if you listen carefully. hiranyon likes to bury them in sections with lots of other instruments

there are, generally speaking, two kinds of cat sounds that I've noticed pop up in the soundtrack. I'm going to call them the "cat piano" and the "meow pad" because hiranyon uses both of them pretty extensively, and it's really obvious what he's doing because he uses them most in songs directly associated with Lost Property 771

most people know this by now and I almost wasn't going to include it, but it feels weird to have a list of Hellsinker soundtrack trivia without mentioning that Past Rising Again (reprised as PAST RISINGS AGAIN) is an arrangement of the boss theme for early bosses in Radio Zonde. it's a distorted version of that theme because you're fighting a duo boss that's meant to resemble the old players, now having been distorted into prayers

the cat screaming in The Great Majority isn't a sound effect playing from one of the enemies. it's actually baked into the song. this probably isn't trivia to anyone who got into the game through the soundtrack, but I felt insane when I listened to the soundtrack and realised this

The Way of All Flesh, being the finale, reprises the game in reverse order. as an aside, all of Hellsinker is synced to the soundtrack (and hiranyon prides himself on this), but it really stands out here more than anywhere else. there's one especially notable bit where the screen flickers, displaying the text "Wherever did you put?" before

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[1] hiranyon: 盛り上がる前のトコ　公開当初の時点では。音が中央に寄る（圧迫感）→ステレオに戻る（開放感）という　絵に同期した仕掛けを意図したものでしたが。後期のものは音を限界まで横に広げ中央を空けて、ちょうど画面上では音の逃げた跡の。真中手前にボスが迫る、という演出構造にしたつもりでした。

[2] hiranyon: 満身創痍になりながらもそれを気にかけず進む者・それに相対する敵。強くありたいが周囲に押し流されそうな危うさや　そうなりきれずともそうあろうとする姿

[3] hiranyon: そう言われている時点では、その場に居るどちらがapostate（背信者）かは不確定です。恐らくどちらかが膝を折った時、それは決まるのでしょう。

[4] shrine.ogg is REALLY short, almost like it was only expected to loop for a single input screen. this seems to imply that the Shrine of Farewell might have gotten its name from originally being something at the end of a run or stage, like the results screen theme in Radio Zonde, but afaik there's no actual information on this at all and I just like to draw conjecture.

[5] hiranyon being someone who likes motifs and also someone who has specific flourishes that he keeps unconsciously using when writing melodies makes it really hard to say anything like this for sure. he actually complained about his tendency to over-write organ sections in his blog post about about rewriting Fade away. apostate lol

[8] the first instance of the cat piano I can think of occurs in Segment 2b, although it's heavily filtered so you almost have to know what it sounds like in the final boss to pick it out here. the first instance of the meow pad, however, is in the first menu theme