#but if I am one day beautifully widowed I am willing to look consider the option

[frances-baby-houseman]

I don't know that my next husband could be someone who says things like "keep my soul as fecund as possible" but I am willing to take a meeting.

Esquire cover story

[onecrazysquirrel]

At 4:39 in the AM on the planet Earth which is located in the Milky Way Galaxy from the United States of America in the state of Ohio the city of Dayton I bid you a beautifully blessed and joyful morning on this lovely Tuesday the fourth of January in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty and two day four of this new year where the current temperature outside is 22° feeling like 25° looking forward to a 40° high for the day ending with 36° at our low point. People of the streets it is supposed to get warmer but be cautious because Ohio weather can be rather precarious, we will be praying for you. The sun is supposed to be out all day with skies of blue so watch out for sunburn if you have sensitive skin and plan on spending time outdoors.

  May the God of grace and mercy smile upon you today as he showers you with his blessings, may the holy spirit be in your presence comforting and instructing you through this day and those that follow and may the blood of Christ cover you cleansing you of sin and freeing you from the trappings and spiritually bondage of this world. 

   And with that prayer I was drawn under into a deep sleep I am struggling to stay awake now, I need to take care of things today and can't afford to sleep all day and I am scheduled to work I believe later on so sleeping is not an option.

My friend continues to struggle with illness, they have a permanent terminal health condition that hinders them from being fully productive and they are battling Covid as well as a viral pneumonia at this time; we are petitioning the Lord for mercy and compassion asking that he would grant her healing and restoration and prolong her life beyond the doctors projections, we are believing that he is willing to do this in Jesus name to his glory and we are praising him for doing so. I firmly believe that he will provide an expedient full recovery according to his gracious will and that it is already a part of his glorious plan and I shall remain fervently prayerful petitioning for this and giving thanks as though it is already done much like King David trusting that it will happen until I am proved wrong. She is not able to work due to hear health but she is constantly being bombarded with new bilks and expenses, so as we ask God to heal her let us please ask for his provision for her little family as well, she is a widow with a fatherless child who is single and has been fighting to make it on her own in spite of extreme opposition; she knows that God has covered them with the shadow of his wing and provided for them thus far, we know that he has a perfect plan and we believe that our requests fit his plan perfectly as well so please stand with us in spirit agreeing with us in heart if you are willing that this will be done in Jesus name to the Glory of God in the Highest. Thank you beloved brothers and sisters for your support with this it means more to us then you will ever know and we pray that God blesses you above and beyond expectation for your loving and giving spirits and hearts and we are very blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful caring people in the Lord and we love you beyond measure through Jesus Christ our King.

Glory to God for provision as he has delivered the greater part of the loan debt that I am struggling with and it has been payed to the bank, I was able to pay $100 of the $150 that I owed the bank yesterday giving me a little leniency; I now have until end of business tomorrow to generate the last $50 without closing my bank account, please lift this and those last utility expenses up in prayer and consider assisting with them through the holy spirit. The total amount left to be raised by this campaign is $300 then I will thankfully yet sadly close it out, I will greatly miss sharing and praying in one accord with everyone; and I will miss creating the artwork for you all and posting it each morning, you've all become a significant part of my morning preparation for the day and a grand piece of my heart and I will continue to raise you up to God through prayer for years to come.

I am glad to have had this time to spend with everyone and I thank the Lord of Hosts for his watchful eye and righteous right hand upon each and every one of you and in all of your lives, praise him one and all for great things he hath done and many great things I am sure he has in store for us all; remember to lift up your neighbors as you pray and keep in mind that the one's that we usually think don't need to be shown love and prayed for tend to be the one's that actually need it the most, may God bless you all fully according to his perfect will with the riches of Christ Jesus in glory through his blessed holy spirit. Amen...

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[windwardrose]

My official post on Avengers: Infinity War

I was jittery heading to the theater on Saturday because I was so excited/nervous/curious/waiting. Because I was going to see a big finals-week release Marvel film without the people I had always gone to see them with before. Because - unrelatedly - I had had the second section of a big conversation that morning and was still running a little high-frequency because of it. And because I didn’t know what would happen, by the end of the evening, to these characters whom I’d known since my first year of college.

I think I knew from the first scene on that it wasn’t going to be like the other films. Maybe in a way I knew from the first moments, when we opened to a dark screen and a dark and desperate voiceover. Well. It wasn’t like the other films.

What was it exactly that Thanos says in the trailer?

In time, you will know what it’s like to lose.

[One of these days I’m going to write an essay: “My coming-of-age as summarized by the MCU.” That quote, initially encountered in the middle of what may have been the nastiest semester of my life so far, will definitely be featured.]

We never actually got that line in the film, unless I forgot it. Which is possible, considering everything else. But it’s perfect, because that’s what happens. The entire movie, the Avengers and the Guardians and their friends are trying every option they can think of to beat Thanos. They always think there’s a way out. They hand over the stones when their loved ones are on the line, because of course it won’t take that kind of sacrifice, they’ll think of something, they’ve always managed to win the fight before! Surely they can pull it off this time, too. Surely.

Loki alone tries three or four different plans in the first few minutes of the movie. One of them even involves handing over the Tesseract. And Loki says over his shoulder to Thor: I believe the sun will shine on us again, brother.

There’s a thought, Loki.

[Hold onto that thought.]

He’s dead a minute later.

*

I got a little mad at some of the characters while watching. Long-time follows may know that one of my favorite sequences in Fullmetal Alchemist (that’s Brotherhood if we’re talking anime) involves - well, a choice not entirely unlike the one that Loki and Wanda and Strange and Gamora and Peter all have to make.

Sometimes: sometimes you don’t need to heroically prove that you love someone. Sometimes the proof is looking them in the eye and doing the right thing, even if it doesn’t keep them safe. Sometimes you save the world first and hold your sorrows close if there isn’t time to circle back and save someone else.

This is not really the moral of Infinity War. T

There are, however, three characters who believe it:

- Doctor Strange, if you subscribe to the theory where he saw the future and knew that winning in the end only came if they lost that day.

- Wanda, during the final battle. It doesn’t help in the long run. [Pesky Time Stone.] It does no good at all.

- Thanos, our villain. But he takes it too far. If the other characters spend too long hunting for an alternative that doesn’t involve handing over someone else as a sacrifice, he doesn’t spend long enough. He wants to save the universe? One must kill half of it to save it. Obviously.

[This is a fellow who is not inventive enough.]

He believes it wholeheartedly: all things must bow before the greater goal. It’s just that he’s chosen a pretty cruddy goal.

But he’s still willing to throw Gamora off a cliff for it, under the silver-bright curl of Vormir’s moon and the watchful eyes of Red Skull.

[Red Skull, who is regretful and alone in a way that his greatest opponent will never be even on the worst days. Steve Rogers has the ultimate revenge in this case, more than he knows.]

*

Things I loved about this movie:

- The whole ragtag, well-intentioned, snarky, broken lot of MCU folk getting to be themselves in every line and action. I have never liked Tony Stark better than I did in this film. Thor finally clicked into focus for me as a character. Peter Parker is a delight - a heartbreaking delight, retrospectively. The Guardians are exactly as they should be. And Cap and Bucky get to meet again - I was up on the edge of my seat as they came to Wakanda, waiting for that reunion.

- The fights - which had me nervous in a way I don’t usually feel during Marvel fight sequences. I think the scale of the combatants made a big difference; they kept emphasizing how huge Thanos was, how powerful, and here are our bright story-folk up against him time and time again. Also, the aliens that attacked Wakanda somehow tripped some switches in my mind to actual oh no mode. Maybe there was just enough dog in their design to do it. Heh.

- Gamora. Her whole awful, awesome backstory, quite succinctly and beautifully summed up. Her first appearance in the movie, sitting front seat in the Guardians’ spaceship, singing to the music and very quietly swaying to the rhythm. Maybe she is “one of the ones that dances,” now. Her courage and her vulnerability and her tough choices.

- Wanda, who pries happiness out of the cracks and crevices of her tragic life, who loves and hopes and wants against the odds, who wields red unburning flame and holds off Thanos and is brave and crying at the same time.

Things I was not as sure about:

- I still don’t know what I think about the Snap. Am I ever supposed to? It’s odd because we know it has to be undone somehow - but we don’t know how, yet. And I don’t know how to feel about such devastation and impermanence at once. Would it have been worse if they’d all quietly collapsed instead of dissolving? Better? Who knows?

- I would not have minded Cap and Black Widow and some of the others having gotten a few more of the little “character moments” that so many of the characters did. There were definitely some “protagonists” for this film more than others. Which is partly a matter of practicality, and I’m definitely biased. But I think everyone does all right with what they have, when they have them.

- I wanted a little more hope at the end.

I am not sure who would have given it - I don’t think anyone felt very hopeful, and I don’t really blame them - but I wished the story could have channeled once more for a moment that flash of defiant optimism we got to see in the first five minutes.

I believe the sun will shine on us again...

[Never mind how much this looks like the end. Hold onto that thought. ]

So think about Infinity War like that, maybe, even though the characters didn’t get the chance to put it into words again. The dark before the dawn. Think how grand it will feel when we tie it together with the end of the story next May.

From now till then, it’s just waiting for the sunrise.

[Aren’t we all doing that, after all - both sides of the screen?]

[vivikawidow]

A few days passed. Laurence persevered in the dreadful MARCH OF OUR TIMES soap opera. His wife, Leslie, was no wiser to the financial dire straits they had found themselves in. Things could even be considered to have gotten back to normal until a privately couriered letter from the HARBOUR HOUSE rehabilitation clinic arrived with breakfast.

He took it to his study to read privately. He almost spat his tea over it when he read the cost of Gillian’s second amputation. Higher than the first leg.

How could one leg cost so much more than the other?

He was beginning to think it would have been easier to have kept a mistress. Perhaps Scarlett, his talentless co star on TIMES would have obliged. She would wrap her lips around anything if it meant she could boost her career. But no, it wasn’t a mistress. Collette was a victim of his drunk driving stupidity. It would have been easier if he had just called an ambulance at the time and taken the heat from the police but no. He had already been given community service for driving under the influence. He wasn’t even sure if he had a valid licence. So he called his good friend DR WINSLOW. Well he wasn’t really sure they were good friends, they met at a party once. Either way he owned the rehabilitation clinic and he was a skilled surgeon. In exchange for treating her Laurence was being drained of every penny he had.

“I have to take the other leg,” Winslow had said.

“Is it necessary?” Laurence had asked.

“It is if you want the young lady to live.”

How quickly a terrible accident can become a murder. Or was it manslaughter? Leslie would know. Her sister also happened to be the toughest HIGH COURT JUDGE the city of COLDFORD had ever sene. Even though they lived abroad in the coastal town of LUEN the threat of repercussions always loomed like the dusty Shady City clouds.

There was a polite tapping at the door.

“Loo Loo!” Called Leslie in her charming little voice. “I’m going to be leaving soon. Come see me off.”

Laurence stored the invoice away in the locked drawer in his desk.

“Okay pumpkin pie. I’ll be there in just a moment.”

He even surprised himself with how natural and calm he sounded. Damn he was a good actor.

He met his wife downstairs at the door way of their classically built beach house.

Leslie, dressed beautifully in a red, tea length dress and black heels, leaned forward with her painted ruby red lips puckered. She pointed to her cheek. Her skin was porcelain and pale despite the warm weather in LUEN.

I’ll be back around four,” she said. “I’m just going to do a little shopping with Alma and remember we have reservations at LE WORDE tonight.”

Laurence was busy calculating how much more he could push their credit card before it got cut up. It seemed the good people at CITI BANK didn’t care he was a famous actor. Leslie must have noticed the puzzled expression in his face. He never was really great at maths.

“What’s wrong pooky?” She asked in a voice one might use when talking to a baby.

“I’ll just miss you,” he decided. A safe ad-lib.

Leslie beamed. “Silly Loo Loo.” She patted his face gently. He liked the feel of her silk gloves against his skin. “I won’t be long,” she continued.

“I know,” he replied. “Wuv you,” he said in a similar infantile voice.

It charmed her. She giggled and dove into the velvet clutch bag she carried and produced a card carrier.

“Use the BECKINGRIDGE card,” he said.

“What’s wrong with Citi Bank?” She asked.

Laurence had to think fast.

There’s no money on it.

“I’m writing a script. I may get my own production off the ground so I’ll need it.”

“Oh Loo Loo!” She cheered. “That is so exciting.”

“I may have to cancel Le Worde,” he said.

“Why?”

Because we can’t afford it.

“Because I want to get started right away.”

She waved her finger at him. “Now don’t work to hard.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I’ll do my best.”

As the door closed the scene cut. He felt he could have done better but he delivered his lines convincingly enough.

He thought of the future. Keeping the truth from Leslie was becoming more and more difficult. He called WINSLOW at HARBOUR HOUSE.

This time the doctor was in his office and his surgical gear had been replaced by an expensive grey suit.

“Laurence my good man! You’ll be pleased to know that our Colette is recovering marvellously. Her latest surgery was a complete success.”

“It’s about the latest invoice,” Laurence interrupted. “It’s expensive.”

Winslow tutted. “You can’t put a price on the quality of care here at Harbour House.”

Laurence frowned. He couldn’t act calm anymore. “You certainly took a stab at it.”

Winslow raised his eyebrows in are you seriously talking to me in that manner? Expression.

“Need I remind you, I am merely trying to cover up your mess.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Laurence put the question out there. It wasn’t necessarily directed at the doctor.

“Since we are such good friends I am willing to make some allowances. There is one way you could clear your debts.”

“How?”

Winslow seemed to look over the camera then, probably to check his door was closed securely.

“How is your health?”

“Fine. Why?”

Winslow folded his arms and leaned back in his chair. “Well, I have a long list of kidney patients, leukaemia patients in desperate need of transplants. The nasty old Organ Donor Registar in this city would have them die on waiting lists so we cut some corners. A donation from you could go a long way to helping clear your debt.”

“You want me to donate organs? Whilst I’m still alive?”

“Non essential ones for course. Just one kidney would suffice or perhaps some bone marrow. A few hours in surgery and a couple of days in recovery and all this dreadful mess will be behind you.”

Laurence thought about it. It would mean he could move on. He could quit MARCH OF OUR TIMES. One good movie and it would be like nothing had happened.

“I would have to think about it.”

Winslow replied, “time is ticking Laurence. People are dying and you could save them.”

Now it felt like something he couldn’t refuse to do.

“I’ll call you back,” Laurence agreed.

“There is one other option,” the surgeon put to him before he hung up. “You could donate Collette.”

Enjoy this?

check out the story so far:

March of Our Times (Opening night)

March of Our Times (Intermission)

PART 4 will be available tomorrow from 6pm. Tune in to find out what our A list actor plans on getting out of this bind.

Check out some of Vivika Widow’s thrilling novels.

Click HERE to read MAESTRO and book your music lesson with Mr Baines.

Click HERE to read MUSE and join David as he tries to salvage his reputation in the art community

Laurence has an option to clear his debts and put his mistakes behind him but it means giving a real chunk of himself. A few days passed. Laurence persevered in the dreadful MARCH OF OUR TIMES soap opera. His wife, Leslie, was no wiser to the financial dire straits they had found themselves in.

[krissysbookshelf]

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