#but idk where this sudden obsession stemmed from

[saetoru]

just realized tobirama is my al haitham god damn

lamb u and me and the gray haired men huh 🤞🏽

[yangbbokari]

Back To Me

Pairing: Kim!Seungmin x F!Reader

Genre/AU/Tropes: Angst, non-idol!au, lovers to exes

Warnings: breakup, language, regrets(if that counts idk), implied cheating, daddy issues

WC: 2.5k

Summary: Things with Seungmin just didn’t seem to ever look up and when you confront him about it, he lashes out

A.N: !NOT PROOF READ!Feedback is greatly appreciated*★,°*:.☆(￣▽￣)/$:*.°★* 。also, I’ve been obsessed with “Back To Me” by The Rose since it came out and this ff idea has been weighing heavily on my mind. I am not implying that said idol(s) behave anywhere near what is mentioned in this ff. Inspo from 

Song rec: ‘Back To Me’ by The Rose

You can still remember those sweet moments with Seungmin. You ran along the seashore as he snapped pictures with his camera you gifted him on his birthday. He took you on a short trip to the park and took pictures of you with your hair blowing in the wind. The both of you laid beside each other, getting lost in the other’s eyes.

But you can’t remember when it all started. What caused that sudden change in your relationship? Was it you? Was it him? You would never know…

You didn’t sense it. It all kind of just… happened. Slowly, Seungmin started to grow distant from you. You wish you knew why. I mean, you could’ve just asked him what’s wrong right? Well, the answer is no. How do you ask someone who’s never home and doesn’t reply to your texts? On days he would actually come home, he wouldn’t talk to you. When he did, all he would do was lash out at you for things that weren’t even your fault.

You tried to support him, you really did. You always kept your calm and told yourself it was just because of his stress stemming from work. But it wasn’t long before it broke you down. Nipping at even your smallest insecurities. So on one of the days when he came home, you just said it all to him.

As soon as you heard the door open, so did your mouth. “Come eat dinner. It’s gonna get co- I’m not hungry”, he cut you off. You got up from your seat at the table and forced him to sit down. He sighed heavily. “What do you want, Y/n. You're driving me crazy. I have enough shit from work and now you're being so demanding.” You scoff. You don’t know where it came from but a fire set ablaze in your eyes and all you felt was irritation.

I can make you mad, I can make you scream

“I’m the one driving you crazy!? I’ve just been looking after you and trying to help you through this stress. But suddenly I’m the problem? You know what? I’m tired of this. You can’t just blame me for shit I didn’t even know of. I’m trying to be a good girlfriend and for what? For you just to come home and berate me when you feel like it?” You were breathing heavily by now and the anger consumed you. “Well, you’re not the one working are you? You’re not the one earning money. You’re not the one putting food on the table. You’re not th- But I’m the one trying to make this relationship survive!!!”, you cut him off because you couldn't bear to hear those words come from his mouth. He knew how much they hurt you. 

Your dad said the exact same words before leaving you on your own with your sick and dying mother. When your mother died, it left you in shambles. You were barely 12 then and so your aunt adopted you. And she treated you like her own. She was the only family you had left until you met Seungmin. But now it feels like she was and still is the only family you have left.

Seungmin huffed before taking a bite of food. But, he immediately spit back out along with his venomous words. “What the fuck is this!? It’s salty as hell! And you wonder why I’m not eating this shit.” Before you could even process his words, you heard the front door shut. You were all alone now. Again.

I can make you cry

After taking a shower you had no strength to do anything else. It wasn’t exactly a physical problem. You were just mentally and emotionally exhausted. You laid down in bed and curled yourself in a tight ball, with the blankets covering you. You felt vulnerable and weak. Like you couldn’t do anything to save your once perfect relationship with Seungmin. Suddenly your face began to feel wet. You were crying. But now, you were beyond the point of just crying. You were sobbing uncontrollably. 

Did he fall out of love with you? Or was he just playing you all along? Did he find someone already and he was waiting for a perfect chance to break up? Why did he change? Was it because of you? Or was this his true self and you were too blinded by love to realize it? What happened to that sweet smile that was always hidden behind the camera? What happened to his velvety laughs that would echo through the night? What went wrong..?

You ended up crying yourself to sleep but when you woke up, you found that you had a cold. It must’ve been from the crying last night. You felt your head pounding from all sides. You quickly went to the kitchen and took some painkillers. If Seungmin was here right now, he would be the one taking care of you. Does he even want to be here?

“No. Stop thinking about him, Y/n. He’s the reason you’re like this.”, you thought out loud. You hated the thought of even contacting him in the state you were in, but you needed someone there while you were sick.

Calling all day but I never pick up, instead of pulling my weight always pushin’ my luck

So you called him.

No answer.

Called him again…

No answer.

The cycle went on a couple more times before you sent a voice message. 

“Hey, Baby. I’m sorry for what happened last night. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that and I understand that you’re also busy and stressed. But can you please come home? I just really need you here right now.”

It has now been several days and your fever isn't getting any better. You spend most of your time in bed but force yourself to take medicine and find something to eat. Left with no choice, you called your friend.

Yuna came over in no time, making sure that you weren’t hurt. But she could clearly see how much you were burning up and the immediate help you needed. She nursed you over the weekend until you were okay. When she asked about Seungmin and found out what happened, she tried her best to convince you to leave him. She always knew that he would do no good for you. But you wouldn’t listen. You refused to. It was only a fight between the two of you. He'd come back to you. Right?

You gave me all that I could take, yeah I take it all for granted. Head up in the clouds, yeah I'll never understand it

Seungmin didn't even return until a full three months later. When he arrived, he wouldn't even look at you. Even though he laid beside you to sleep at night, there was nothing but a wall between you two. It was suffocating you. But it clearly wasn't having the same effect on Seungmin. He would giggle in the middle of the night at some tiktoks he was watching, not minding that he'd wake you up.

It was all so frustrating but you just couldn't find it in you to leave him. Well... that's what you thought at first.

Love no longer remained and if there was any, it was fully one-sided. You were sick of this. The constant mental torture was doing you no good and it slowly killed you. It didn't feel as if you were even a couple. You felt like a caretaker. That's not what you bargained for when you started this relationship.

You tried everything in the books to get him to open up to you. Only to learn, that he was just getting tired of you. You no longer interested him. Or so he said,

"Meh. I've just been bored and trying to find a better entertainment source."

You were so fed up with his, if not irritated, nonchalant attitude. When would he realize that he was hurting you. This internal rage was constantly being built up and you just couldn't handle it anymore.

So you opted for the only choice left. To leave him.

I can make you leave. I can make you hate me for everything.

You packed your clothes and belongings into every box and suitcase you could afford and sent it off to your aunt's. You had already told her of the plan and she agreed. Now all that was left was for him to return home. Time ticked by and the anticipation was killing you. Your knee bounced furiously. You were chewing on your thumb nail until you heard the click of the front door. An exhausted Seungmin stepped through.

"Hey, Seungie. Can we talk?"

He groaned as he walked past you. "Let's talk tomorrow. I'm too tired."

"No. We need to talk like now. It's really important. Please?"

Seungmin rolled his eyes before walking back over to you. "What's so important that you're disturbing my rest?"

You nervously fiddled with your hands. It was more nerve-wracking than you thought. You mustered up the last of your courage you had left and looked him in the eye.

"Let's break up."

"What?"

"Let's go our own seperate ways and break up."

"Okay." He waved you off as he headed to the bedroom to sleep.

Shocked wasn't exactly how you'd describe yourself. To be honest, you kind of expected this. They way he brushed things off so easily wasn't new to you. So you didn't even cry. You just grabbed what you had left and made your way to your aunt's house.

As soon as she embraced you, that's when you let your tears fall. It hurt all too much. Everything that Seungmin had been doing to you for the past two years were spilled out in the hour long conversation shared between you and your aunt. Your hatred only continued to grow for Seungmin and soon, all that was left was hatred for him.

Seungmin didn't even notice that you never came to bed. In fact, everything you previously said flew over his head from his exhaustion. It wasn't until he had awoken that he realized you were nowhere in sight. At first he assumed that you may have went to cook breakfast or collect grocceries. But then he remembered what happened last night. He covered his mouth and his eyes began to water.

He began remembering the horrible things he's been saying to you. He didn't mean any of it. Most of the time it wasn't even directed towards you. It was just pure exhaustion. He only tried to come off as happy so he wouldn't upset you. But that only seemed to make it worse.

What he chose to do though, was give you time. He knew he wasn't the exact person you wanted to talk to at the moment. He shook his head at himself. You'd be back in a week hopefully. That's what he thought up until he felt like the house was a little too empty. SO he checked every nook and cranny. None of your belongings remained. No toothbrush, no clothes, no books, no devices, no personal items. Not even your scent lingered.

God, what had he done?

Calling all day, trynna make things right

Seungmin quickly grabbed his phone and called you. His fingers ran through his hair as the call never made it through time and time again. Now he was extremely worried. What if something happened to you?

So he called your closest friend, Yuna. She picked up rather quickly.

"The hell do you want, assface?" She said almost immediately.

Seungmin swallowed hard before asking her, "Do you know where y/n is? I haven't been able to reach her. Do you know if she's okay?"

"Shouldn't you be able to know the whereabouts of your own girlfriend?"

"Look I really don't know and I'm worried. Something went on last night and she's not home. Now my calls aren't getting through and I don't know what to think."

"Well to me, it looks like she finally took my advice. Have a horrible day, bitch." And with that, Yuna hung up.

"FUCK!!" Seungmin cursed loudly as he flung his phone across the room. Had you really left him? Was he that horrible of a person? He chuckled. Who was he kidding? Of course he was that horrible. The amount of pain he must've inflicted on you. His heart clenched.

He began crying as that was all there was to do left.

It's been a couple of months and both of you were trying to move on. Was it easy? No. At least you both tried though. But fate seemed to have other plans.

Just to fuck it all up when I see you tonight. Since you told me hit the road, I've been runnin' on empty, If anything I know it's how to ruin a happy ending

It was a Friday night and Seungmin chose to spend it at a local bar. Guess that bar must've been a little too local. Because there you were, standing just 20 feet away from him. Seungmin could feel his heartbeat accelerate. He so desperately wanted to run and hug you. It felt like hell without you.

You were no longer there to remind him that he was loved. You were no longer there wishing him good nights and good mornings. You were no longer there to cook him his everyday meals. You were no longer there to give him a goodbye kiss.

But you were here, with another man. Seungmin knew he had no right but he couldn’t help but feel jealous. You told him that you’d always be his so why was it different now? Truth was, he knew the answer. Anger and jealousy blinded him though.

He stomped the whole way over there and yanked you by the wrist. “Who’s this!?” He asked angrily. “What the fuck, Seungmin! Why the hell are you here!?” Seungmin didn’t even hear you as he suddenly flung his fist into the dude’s face.

You grabbed Seungmin by the collar and pulled him towards you, landing a hard smack on his face. “Stop, you fucking asshole.”

He immediately snapped out of it. Seungmin looked at you apologetically but it was already too late. He could see it in your eyes. The disgust, hat and annoyance. How could he do that to you?

”Wait, y/n…”

And he couldn’t even salvage it. So he left. That’s all he could do. He knew you wouldn’t take him back. When he thought about it, he wouldn’t take himself back either. So he began drinking. Drinking all the pain away.

But I can’t make you come back to me

He’d lost you completely and there was nothing he could do. He wanted to scream at you that you couldn’t leave him. But he knew he was in the wrong. On your wedding day he watched as you posted the photos. You and some other dude instead of you and him.

He couldn’t find the strength in him to go to the actual event. He’d lose control if he did. He wanted to tell you,

“I’m sorry.”

But what good would that do. If he truly wanted you to be happy, he’d leave you alone, and that’s what he did. He watched you from afar. He still cried from time to time. He was happy for you. But he had to admit,

“But, I still wan’t you.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a.n: this has been on pause for 3 months now😭 and idk if ya caught on to the 2nd song at the end but yeah. Anyways, hope ya enjoyed bc this has been a long awaited fix. Sry to anyone who was waiting. Have a great day/night!!! Love y’all!!🫶💕💗

[shinjisdone]

I saw you're doing requests and I do not request often but- Take this if you want?

Yandere! Link (Twilight Princess) (Romantic as I think he's an adult in the game? Sorry if not, been awhile. Platonic works too) with Female! Reader Scenario? (One of my fav games, lol)

Do what you want with it... idk what prompts to ask for :/

If you don't want to do this please tell me! I read the rules and picked something simple :) Take your time! 🐈‍⬛

😳 THE yandere-galore panther taking requests from me? Usually its the other way around haha

Prompts are not a must if you really don't know what you want, though I gotta admit I had to ponder a bit since the request has no specifications. Things are pretty general therefore but I had to add a few things to get creative. This turned out longer since I like to develop Yandereness especially - it's always interesting to see from where the sprout stems from and how it'll grow. Otherwise it feels too forced and sudden to me. Have been following for quite a while, hope you like this!

TW: Yandere behaviour, obsession, long pining, idolization, one-sided feelings, obliviousness, stalking, aggression, blood and killing

Yandere! Twilight Princess! Link Scenario with Female!Reader (Romantic)

All your good deeds turned into sin, it seems.

Or at least some form of karma, but you didn't know enough about that to truly tell. It was just a gut feeling.

You are nothing but a wandering traveller. Knowledge of self-defense goes without saying, especially since the land of Hyrule turned so hostile over time. According to old legend a calamity is soon to approach, which only makes you yearn for serenity even more.

Ordon village sounds so tempting. Small and humble, the entire village feels nothing like the rest of the outside. The people certainly looked at you weird for deciding to stay here for a while - the most exciting thing to happen after all are raging goats!

Thus you were saved from one by a quick-witted, local fellow seemingly grappling with the animal before it calmed down and he offered you his hand. His light brown hair and deep blue eyes were welcoming and you took the offer.

"Thank you."

He said his name was Link.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-«

The children weren't as relaxed as the adults though. Even as their parents called out for them to help in the shop or with the goats, all four of them would stick close to you, each jumping to your side as they asked questions upon questions about 'the traveler lady!' The rest of Hyrule wasn't something they'd see or even hear from often. It was deemed as exciting to be able to go to the castle town to deliver some milk.

How is the town? Have you ever crossed that big bridge? Were you ever up at that Death Mountain? Can you catch bigger fish in that giant lake? Have you met the knights, soldiers and their princess?

All of these things were also asked by Link.

He bashfully admitted to being a regular country pumpkin as you sat beside each other by the river, fishing. He managed to please the kids with a promise to play as they finally left you alone. Rubbing the back of his neck, he couldn't hide the excitement on his face nor the stammer in his voice as you told him of your stories.

"The most exciting thing I'll ever do in my life is probably deliver that milk. Can't lie, I am lookin' forward to it..." He chuckled sheepishly. Shaking your head, you offered a smile.

"You should go out of the village more often. You're old enough now, I'm sure you'll grow to like everything you'll see and meet."

You smiled at him. It cheered him up, admittedly. You looking at him like that felt special too, perhaps because you weren't from here and encouraged him to go, even if it meant leaving the village and his goat-herding duties behind for a while.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-«

If only he never left.

Though for whatever reason that thing called it a lucky coincidence, a deal.

He ran back towards the forest, rushing by the familiar lake where the children went missing. It happened too fast and even though they adored him, looked up to him, he could barely realize what was happening before the world went dark and darker and darker.

His heart pounded against his ribcage, the shadow tailing after him in high speed which only made his panic grow more. How could this have happened? Where is everyone and are they still well?

His pants turned and echoed in a yelp - then a growl. He couldn't control it, it sank into his brain as he saw the glimmer of a blade shooting up this close to his face.

Gritting his teeth, his blue eyes shot up big. Frozen in place he looked up as the weapon was slowly withdrawn.

"...You don't have to be scared."

Link did not notice he was shaking.

Quickly he realized it was you, the 'traveler lady', as you kneeled down and took a good look at him. The young man was confused on how you kept calm as your hands gingerly grazed his fur. Your hands went down to his chained paw and a frown graced your face. "You poor thing. No wonder you are so terrified."

Link was hesitant but could not deny your guess.

Eagerly you tried to remove the chain, even if it did not affect him. Adamently working on it you suceeded even if it costed you time and tools...your gentle hands soothed the irritated skin with your own oilments that you carried.

"It's best if you don't go into the village. The children went missing...and the parents are distraught. You better go home to your own family, little one."

You gave one last pet and smiled as you returned to Ordon Village.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-«

You thought this would be last time you saw the curious wolf. Yet here he is, having trouble as he carried a wooden shield and hauling it through the dark. As the villagers investigated the strange sounds coming from him, you were quick to distract them. Swiftly hiding him behind a house, you ducked him down.

You ask him what he is doing here, take away the shield - which he fights against almost pleadingly - and shush him from the worried parents.

"Everyone's drowning in worry." You pet him up and down, whispering, "...I really hoped I could stay here for a while, get away from all this chaos outside. But even such a sweet village like this one gets attacked...kidnapping kids...and the Link fella is gone, too..." You trail off but try to smile as the wolf whimpers. Inhaling deeply and forcing a grin you drown him in pats and cuddles. "But don't worry...! I promised them to get the children back! I don't know where they are or where to start...but I'll get them back. I swear, Wolfie!" You laughed as you petted him more, which only made the animal grin. He had long sat down and listenend to your words.

Link was unsure if you were even real when he first saw you that night. The twilight blinded him as that Midna thing mockingly told him of the possible fate of his friends. The people, the spirits - they all whimpered as his sight, smell, touch and hearing changed. All that he knew was different and he might never turn back into the real Link.

You, this new and mysterious woman, were the only thing that seemed real to him. The blade you shoved into his snout, the paw you healed and your hands that combed through his fur - all of this were the only things that felt warm and familiar in this twilight. He hoped you'd be fine. If only he could turn back to his real self and help you. He'd feel better if he had you as a companion and not that shadow imp.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-«

Lake Hylia is grand, Death Mountain steep, and the castle town empty. It's strange to think that he is right here, seeing all the things you saw and encouraged him to. Though the circumstances turned out to be much more meaningful than a simple country pumpkin such as him could have ever imagined.

Midna was right, Hyrule is so close to its doom. All he wanted was to get back to the children and maybe meet you again as you were looking for them too. Though still as a wolf you left for your quest. And now here he is at Kakariko Village. Here to save the kids but to also have to climb Death Mountain first. It's what he as a 'chosen hero' has to do.

Still, he ignored Midna's request as his blue eyes wandered the dry and sandy place. Link found the children quickly and as they pointed to the an opening door, his face lit up. A familiar woman stepped out and he could see you squint your eyes in confusion while he ran up to you. Holding firmly on your arms you were first startled before the young man explained himself.

"Link? Oh, Link! I didn't recognize you, you're so green now!" You pointed out and he couldn't help but laugh. He told you of what happened and what he had to do.

"Are you sure you must? You went missing too, I mean you must be as confused as the kids. You don't have to force yourself if you were hurt as well." There was your concern again, the same one on that night. Even as he assured you, you offered to help but both of you decided that you stay with the children...even if he would have loved to have your company and spend some time together. He was sure you would be of great help and support.

"Well, Death Mountain is hot and dangerous but if you made it so far, you'll be fine. Might as well finally get to see it." You chuckled sheepishly, trying to lift the mood.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-«

He thought he'd be free from his curse already, the spirit said so. Promised him so but here he is back on all four paws with Midna dying on his back. His pants grew rapid, panicking as the shadow imp almost fell off when he acted to quickly and too carelessly.

What to do? Where to go? Midna is dying...and he is just some animal again! Stuck in this lake, in this desert! The night grows darker and the people more hollow. With a pounding heart he tried to sneak out of the Kakariko's cave first -

"Wolfie...?"

If it weren't for you again.

You knelt down to him as he anxiously turned his snout to his back. Carefully you took Midna, for who you mistook for some kind of baby. As you nervously tried to make sense of the situation, the wolf jumped at you, his eyes wide and bright with his paws on your shoulders as he barked and barked and barked. Please, please, please, do something as you did in Ordon. You have to, you must.

Link is useless like this.

"...Hey," Gingerly you cupped his cheek and wondered how a wolf could be getting misty-eyed. You wiped the fresh tears away. "Wolfie, Wolfie..." Whispering you lean his head against yours and onto your shoulder. You shush him as Midna lays on your lap, caressing his back as he ceased to shake. "You poor thing." Again, you said that again. Adjusting the creature on your lap, you wrapped your arms around the animal and nuzzled his fur. Your lips met his cheek and lingered there as you whispered; "You'll be fine. Everything's gonna be fine again, I promise you."

Link felt like crying again. You were the only one.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-«

Again, you were the only thing that seemed real as his existance as a wild animal.

Midna was the only one to talk to and her personality and motivation left a lot to be desired. She proved her heart was noble but that wouldn't deter her from her jabs. Link could only show his unrest through growls and yips, which she only brushed off with a roll of her eye and taps to his back to hurry up instead.

Even as he ran through the swamps and forest, the dead castle town and plateus, he could often sniff you from afar. Often you found yourself meeting up with the mysterious wolf and it was delightful after he got better. It was even more delightful for Link.

Whatever happened to the 'baby' was left as an enigma to you.

With a groan Midna would retreat into his shadow, mumbling how much time they are wasting again on his little, favorite human, as the wolf appraoched you with a wagging tail. Small recaps of your own adventures and a round of pats were always included.

You could be focused on a task at hand, fight off against monsters or ride through the meadow but the moment you noticed him you'd turn around and your lovely face would lit up. 'Wolfie!' You'd yell out and Link has grown to love no word more than this one. It felt a bit demeaning at the beginning but that just meant you always liked him from the start, right?

Liked him even while he is stuck in this hideous form. He didn't know how long he'd be stuck in there and if he will ever get his human form back, no matter how much Midna promised him, but at least, at least you were here. This wonderful woman with a smile that could rival the sun.

"You be careul on your way now, okay, Wolfie?" You chuckle as he barked in response, turned in a circle and jumped up on you again. His snout searched for your lips.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-«

You inhaled deeply. This must be...the third time now, if you aren't mistaken.

Castle town seemed dimmer and more hollow the last time you were here and while it was a firm reminder of how much you wanted to leave in the first place, something more sinister has entered this place recently and you can't shake it off. The town square is brimming with a hopeless crowd but you reckon you always hear a cheerful voice calling out to you. Often you find yourself turning around and seeing the image of a hand waving as green ghosts around and between the merchants. The calls seem to drown between the mumbles and even the bar, the one place still full of superficial but pleasant talks felt suffocating. As if entering the wide space was walking into a pair of arms squeezing you from both sides.

The woman behind the counter often raised her brow when you entered until one day she finally spoke up. Apparently somebody's been looking for their good friend, a beautiful gal and you fit the regular's description perfectly. From head to toe. With a worried tone that you couldn't hide, you told the barkeeper that you travel alone.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-«

Castle town became too asphyxiating, your gut feeling telling you to escape in a hurry to Kakariko village, to familiar faces. You still owed the Ordon elders the promise of returning their children unharmed, after all.

And so you did, pushing Colin out of the way and losing sight of the world as a monstrous goblin took ahold of you with the last thing you heard being aggressive galloping and your name screamed out.

Eyes shot awake as you tumbled to the ground, rolling away from the Elden bridge, coughing. Your arms were too weak as you shakily tried to sit up - the rest of the world blurry and dipped in twilight as more screams echoed about. Squinting, you turned around to see something akin to a giant boar falling down right after Link pulled his sword out of its abdomen. With a squishing sound the blinding blade was torn out of it, creating a bigger hole in its flesh. The cry was cut short as it fell to the ground and a pool of blood quickly tainted the rest of its body.

You let out a gasp and at the slightest sound, Link's ear twitched and he swiftly turned around, his face immediately morphing from a glare to a grin. Swinging the blood off his weapon, he rushed over to you and putting his sword back. He unwittingly created a small trail of blood after him. His bloodied arms shot out for you, supporting you as he sat you up. The young man started talking and gushing while you stared up at him, helplessly leaning on him while still beside yourself.

"...Link...?" "You're safe now." He instantly countered with a smile that was meant to reassure you. You swore his eyes were cold as he gave the final blow but now they are the softest you've ever seen. "I saw what you did, you saved Colin. That was so...amazing of you but you gave me a heart attack." Finally, you were able to slowly go back to your senses. "What? You weren't there..."

"Didn't you hear me call you?" You blinked and again, asked him what he meant. 'At Castle town', he grinned and said he saw you. You didn't hear him though. And when he arrived at Kakariko also you did not hear him.

"W-What...?" You let out but were shushed as your head was put on his shoulder. Closing his eyes as he combed through your hair and pressed you further into his body. "You'll be fine. Everything's gonna be fine again, I promise you." He shushed you again as you attempted to speak up and just nuzzled you.

It felt good to repay a favor, be the one who saved you this time. It felt just as good, if not a bit different, to have you in his arms, with him being your hero.

Not the other way around. Though he does not mind that.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-«

Colin's face soured as you explained yourself.

How could he not? A child that you promised to bring home watching you leave for an 'extended period of time' leaving all of Eldin to go to Ranelle. Far, far away.

The little tent you built yourself in the corner of Lake Hylia should be safe and hidden enough. Close enough for fish and far away from monsters. Yet just as you were about to lay down, you heard unusual bickering and turned around, only to once again meet green.

Letting out a yelp, you dropped your weapon in shock only for Link to bring his finger to his lips and shush you. He pointed to himself again and again that he was indeed Link. "What are you doing here?" You manage to let out as you calmed down, "I have to be here." He answered quickly yet you doubted that. "Why are you here? You just left and," He licked his lips, "I was worried about you!" He took a step closer before you could reply.

"It's dangerous to be alone out here. Especially for you, yer..." He couldn't help the grin, "You...you're a beautiful gal and it's best if you aren't alone...say, since we both are here, why don't we stick together? You offered me your help once and I always would have loved to have you with me for a bit..."

"How did you find me?" You took a step back and eyed your weapon on the ground. Link only looked confused. "I...saw you here on the way to the lake. It's easy to spot you." He chuckled sheepishly but you only shook your head and crossed your arms. "...No, thank you. I came here to...relax a bit. The recent events were...frightening."

"I can imagine," Once again his blue eyes softened and he neared you again, putting a hand on your cheek. He missed the way you twitched. "None of this is your responsibilty...yet you choose to help anyway. You're kind...and sweet as honey. That's so amazing of you." Link almost seemed mesmerized as his eyes narrowed. "But you'll have me...I can look out for you, I can protect you-"

"I won't go." You take his hand off your cheek and distance yourself again, finally having the courage to glare at him - in turn, he only looked more confused. "But why? You love Wolfie but when it comes to me, you vanish. Are you shyer around a human than an animal?" He tried to laugh it off even as he saw your face morphing into shock. Quickly you ask him with a stammering voice how he knows that but he seems to ignore it. "I am no different...you saved me a dozens of times! And I," He hesitates but lets it all go as he takes ahold of your shoulders, "I...I think I fancy you and I have been waitin' for so long to at least spend time with you! The only other times we see each other is when you don't understand me, when I'm just some wild beast!"

"But even then you seem like the only one who understood me, the only real one between all these ghosts! So, as payback, at least let me protect you...let me help you. We could be doin' this together."

Link wastes no time to shove you into his chest, into an embrace. He nuzzles your head and his lips met your temple. "I'll defeat the darkness and then we can see the rest of the world together, okay?"

[stopeatingwhales]

second chance x damon albarn

i'm surprised i haven't written anything about dilf damon yet bc i've been so obsessed with him recently wtf. anyways enjoy x

i might do a second part to this, idk yet tho

Pairing: dilf damon x reader

Warnings: none :)

Word count: 2.786

Requested by anon <3

༉‧₊˚✧

“Do you want to come over?” I abruptly asked, the silence pouring through the line deafening my ears as my fingers toyed with the hem of my shirt. The desperation and moment that led to me ringing my ex-boyfriend at what was nearing eight in the evening seemed as though it was a fever dream, the words rolling off my tongue so delicately out of apprehension only a fragment of that trance. In all honesty, I had no idea as to why I rang Damon, or to what extent the string of thoughts guided me towards the action of calling - we had been broken up for around a year, and it came as a much larger shock that I was able to muster the amount of courage to tap his contact on my phone and attentively listen to the thunderous rings as the landlines attempted to connect, instead of quickly shutting the phone off before he was able to receive a missed call alert.

“Uh, um - are you sure?” he questioned, the stutter escaping his mouth insinuated that he was just as dazed at my sudden offer as me, the demeanour of his voice accentuating the idea that he was entirely finished with the ephemeral chapter of his life which had me intertwined inside as his partner; that he had gotten over me quicker than the momentary period our relationship lasted. My heart sank, realising how indigent I sounded, as if I had never gotten over him throughout our time apart - which I did, learning to live with myself was easier than I had thought it was going to be; the weeks leading up to the breakup stemming from the distance we shared apart due to Damon consistently being on tour and never providing enough time for me, for us, to consider one another as more than romantically acquainted, though that didn’t mean the gap in my heart had been sealed shut, it was simply brimmed with other, unspecial fragments of things which could only distract the thought of him for so long, until I’d discover myself adventuring for something else to hyperfixate my thoughts upon, though he always returned.

“Yeah…” My voice trailed off, so quiet that I struggled to sustain the volume. Though we had only just spoken, the trance that he had obtained over me for all those months we were with one accord, returned in an instant, having the same rush that a recollection of memories, pastimes that were once forgotten, crumbled to dust, had been reborn; ignited into a new bloom in the height of a harvest, resulting in the scolding of yourself upon how you granted the ability to forget such a thing. It seemed as if all those thoughts, ideations convinced to the point that I had gotten over him, were myriads of masks attempting to say it enough to believe it. Without a doubt, I had never overcome the strains of the acquaintance we shared - and I could only hope he felt the same way.

I heard his throat clear itself before his voice echoed through the telephone speakers once again. “Alright… I’ll be there in a bit.” he mumbled, those words bringing a soft, yet apprehensive grin to my lips. I had no idea what I was doing, or why, but it felt right.

It felt as if only the sum of a few minutes passed when I heard a distinguishable knock on the door; one that had not rang through my ears for an interminable amount of time, one that was able to send me months back in time to a period where he had significantly been a figurehead dictating the story. As I jolted up to answer the door, it felt as if things were normal again, back to how they used to be so many nights previous; me waiting for him to come home after he spent a long day at the recording studio, crafting what could only be assumed was the pure essence of talent, unlocking the door to allow my arms to envelop into an embrace cherished with affection and warmth, proving he longed to have my presence just as much as I craved his. Once my eyes met the sight of him, my heart dropped at the overwhelming feeling of my reminiscing about what once was, the nostalgia for a moment so authentically shaped with what could only be described as true love, my body yearning to relish in the sensation of his arms protectively wrapped around my body, a feeling which could only fulfill one’s heart with all that it desires. "Hi..." I trailed off, stunned by how similar, yet different his appearance was from when we last saw one another. His hair had the same shape, though it seemed a little shorter, his eyebags still prominent on his features, though it seemed as if they had sagged down slightly, posing the idea of whether he had been sleeping alright. His torso still adorned shirts with dark colours, amplified with one of his leather jackets which only made me more attracted to him. Widening the door, he set foot into the apartment, nodding his head lightly as a greeting. Although I was very elated to the fact that he was in my apartment, it felt eerie having him back here after so long, stepping foot into the space that was once served merely as a homely and secure space where we both could simply live and enjoy our time together, no distractions included.

Once I had followed him into the living space, he took a seat onto the couch facing the television. I attempted to make my footsteps omit as little noise as possible, as if to avoid damaging the awkward silence that had been shared between the pair of us. It went without saying that neither of us knew how to break the ice, or where this was going to head. One could only hope that the outcome of this meeting was positive. “Do you want something to drink?” I asked, ushering over to the cabinet adjacent to the television, supplied with all sorts of alcoholic beverages in which I had not touched, simply there as a point of manners to offer when somebody had come over. “White?” I offered, pulling out an almost-full bottle of white wine. I knew he hated it.

"You know I’ve always hated white." he mumbled, a small smile playing upon his lips. Something about that little grin plastered on his lips made my stomach flip and turn, welcoming a swarm of butterflies to accentuate the nervous pit that had formed within myself. The intense feelings reminded me of the same bewilderment your body undergoes during the first date; there is such a raw attraction to somebody that you know far too little about, but you are so hypnotised by their presence it is as if they’re the only thing in the world that matters, to the point that they obnoxiously overtake your mind, every little thought occupied with their name, wondering whether they may like such and such, like an infection spreading without you knowing such cure for it. The atmosphere was intense, carrying the same ambience of two strangers meeting for the first time in an isolated space, though there was also a refreshing element of familiarity that neither of us wanted to admit that we appreciated so deeply.

"Red?" I asked, snatching the half empty bottle as I placed the other wine bottle back in its designated place, turning my head back to fix my gaze onto Damon, raising my eyebrows as a form of derise for the drink. Nodding his head in response, I quickly took two glasses from the cabinet, brimming them both with the alcoholic liquid before slowly making my way to sit next to him on the sofa, handing him one of the glasses as he thanked me in response. The same devilish silence echoed in the room once again as we granted the situation to truly sink in - thankfully alcohol was present. As I took a sip of the beverage, I tried to gulp down as much liquid as possible before I spoke once again. "So... how have you been?"

"Good... Just came off tour actually. Was a really successful one." he replied, his voice laced with a slight tone of doubt, edging the regret of so eagerly returning back into a place that was once so attached to his occupancy. He carried on talking about how the tour had been, my head subconsciously nodding, attentive to what he was talking about. Each time he had told me about something new they had added, or something they had changed surrounding the live performance set-up, it never failed to blow me away. Him and Jamie together, working on such a creative idea and putting it to life on stage was truly something out of rare virtuosity, disregarding the lengthy old ramblings from Damon almost every night he had returned home about how much Jamie had pissed him off, having a petty argument as if it was a be or end all in their friendship. It was actually a good form of entertainment, seeing how riled up Damon had gotten simply because of something that Jamie joked in an interview.

Once he had finished talking, our eyes connected, uncertainty clouded in his eyes as he searched for the reason behind him needing to come over. "Y/N, why did you ask me to come over?" He said, abrupt, almost as if those words had been lingering at the back of his mind the entire time we had been in one another’s acquaintance; the ease of the sting of words rolling off his tongue softly implied that, perhaps a try to prevent the harshness of the asking from offending me in the slightest. "We haven't seen each other for a year, why now?"

Both gazes never dared to break contact as if we had attempted to communicate telepathically - the ideation of instigating a conversation as awkward as how this had become, the two of us simply wanting the ground to swallow us whole. His gaze had the ability to put me into a trance upon which I wouldn’t be able to think of anything else except for the utter magnificence that was birthed into his loving eyes. Inhaling sharply, I tried to collect the thoughts in my brain that had been travelling in all directions, searching for all sorts of different possibilities that the conversation could reach. "Can we give it a second chance?" I asked absentmindedly, the realisation of what had just rolled off my tongue not settling in my mind until his eyes widened, speechless and shocked at my sudden questioning.

Sighing, he cocked his head to the side. “Love, we didn't work out the first time..." he began, my heart dropping to my stomach as the thought of him breaking my heart again entered my mind. His expression quickly softened once he saw my face drain colour, explaining all that he needed to know about how I had coped since he had left the picture. "I don't want to hurt you again."

Breaking away from the stare, I gawked at the dark shades of red that had adorned the transparent glass clasped in my palm. Holding in my emotions wasn’t going to do me any justice, and since he was here, it would not make sense for me to stupidly avoid the whole reasoning behind me needing him inside my apartment after so long. “It’s been so hard trying to get over you,” I mumbled, my voice almost inaudible out of embarrassment, though I knew he could hear me. “I need you.”

What I didn’t see from my shameful gaze at the ground, was the miniscule beam that broke out across Damon’s features. What I was unaware of, my body encompassed in such a impotent state of pure isolation, was that Damon had been as dependent on hearing those words escaping my mouth before he could admit the same to himself. Though it had all been answered to me as he softly brought his arm to caress my arm, gently squeezing the skin as a form of reassurance, implying the notion that he understood, that he felt the same way, after all this time. We broke up not because we lost feelings, but because the emotions we carried for one another were too strong to handle, too intense to progress with, that when he was gone for those long hours it had left me in such a stupor of helplessness and melancholy that it was unbearable to handle without it tarnishing my health. Unsurprisingly, at this point we knew where the conversation was headed; my desires to be swathed in his arms once again that I had tried so hard to banish to the back of my mind, to the depths of my distant memories in which by reliving such a hug came flooding back, my body leaned into his touch almost instantaneously, a subconscious reflex that I had craved, such an embrace that no other person could give, the mere side hug from him was able to banish all the pain that I had tried so diligently to mask away for the past few months.

We sat there for a short while, taking in the moment as it had played throughout, our breathing syncing together as comfort relished in the atmosphere, our minds now finally at peace while all the conflict that had battled our minds over the time we weren’t together. "Let me come on tour with you." I said, my head resting against his shoulder.

A chuckle erupted out of his throat. “It’s not that easy love.”

"Why can't it be? You're literally the frontman!" I exclaimed, lifting my head off his shoulder to connect eyes with him. "Damon, it would be so fun!" I exclaimed, attempting to encourage him.

It was as if things had mended back together, all the cracks in the pavements had been glued together to mend the time lost, as if it had never occurred. Through all the hardship I had faced trying to find the remedy to my heartache, I was dumbfounded to realise that it had been sitting in front of me, at the top of my phone’s contact list, right in front of my eyes this entire time. His eyes were calling out to me, enveloping my heart in comfort and warmth, the hunger radiating out eager to the ideation of starting anew and preserving the time in which we had lost, building new memories, unfastening the lock on the clock dictating the length of the relationship, allowing it to elongate, carry on as long as we could. My heart brimmed with homeliness - the house I was inside finally feeling normal to me once again.

"I'll see what I can do," he grins, the beautiful sight causing a small smile to erupt on my face as my body melted back into his arms once again. "No promises though."

It felt nice to wake up next to someone again the next morning, on the mattress that once was a carcass of many tears of sadness and melancholy, authentically conveyed by the essence of nihilism embodied from isolation, the kind of philosophical beliefs one could only develop an understanding towards subsequent to irrational thinking as the hours fell still, leaving you sat there, reliving the last moments from your memory bank with the significant other you had soiled ends with, a person who had supported you from the very beginning, even when things formed a bitter congestion to the relationship devoured by both participants, perhaps from the acceleration of argumentation shared, or the distance that had started to weave its way between, leaving you both stranded to conclude, as if you were both on separate, desolate islands fighting against the starvation of progressing through your lives and starting anew, departing from the old knots and attachments formed once epitomising pure adoration and love, though over time spawning to be the offspring of the devil. A person whom you knew would make your bed every morning, cradle you in his arms at the darkest hours to baptise the negativity coiled in your brain, whispering what seems like sweet nothings, merely sounding like soft raspy groans due to them being exhausted out of their mind, but you knew they were saying something to you, you could hear it, acknowledge it in a language that nobody else was able to understand. I relished in concession that he who lay beside me was the one that bestowed and epitomised all the things that I once lacked a night before. A lover.

[blueprint-han]

desert rose — yang jeongin.

↪ “ Because love and a red rose could never be truly hid. ”

— “ You’d have never thought that one incident would’ve enlightened you of how much in love you were with your childhood best friend, but it turns out to be more of a problem when you’re threatened with a life-ending disease with no cure whatsoever. Or so you thought. ”

pairing: jeongin x reader

genre: hanahaki au; fluff, angst with a happy ending.

⇥ warnings: hanahaki disease, mentions of blood (not very graphic but enough that it’s tagged), lots of angst, also in this world the hanahaki surgery isn’t discovered yet, because it’s a fairly recent discovery, also y/n’s dad is nowhere mentioned in this fic idk take it as you like but i imagined him to pass away when y/n was 12 for some reason :((, please do not read if you triggered by topics of death or blood or disease! These themes will be prevalent though not in super explicit detail, they are still there. If I missed a warning, let me know. <3

word count: 11.09 K

type: long one-shot.

⇥ disclaimer: this fiction does not represent the activities of the real Yang Jeongin, nor is associated with JYPE in any form. Events are pure fiction. ♡

part of: the @bystay​ skznta event, written for @stayndays​ !!

song: inspired from Desert Rose by Lolo Zouaï <3 No relation to the fic but it did inspire the ~vibes~.

↯ note: I’m gonna be honest this tired me out so much that I’m glad I finished it, it took me longer than I expected and it got longer than I expected, but nonetheless, here you go shayna! Hi!! It’s me! Your secret santa! Sorry I couldn’t send you that many asks because my uni is a bitch™, and I wish I could’ve made this better, but I guess this will have to do for now. I hope you like it, and I loved being your santa! 🥺 I hope we can interact more in the future, and this isn’t edited so pls go easy on me （＞人＜；）eiury2y4er okay happy reading! <3 love you shayna! <3 I wish I could give this more editing time :( but... i hope u still like it!  ⇥ dawn.☀️

Jeongin’s eyes are really pretty.

The first time you'd made this miniscule observation was during your summer vacation road trip when the sun shined a tad bit overly bright, and Jeongin’s umbrella had a hole in it. The exact details of how it ended up torn don’t matter, but the way Jeongin’s eyes seemed to shimmer in the harsh noon sun almost made it seem worth it.

You remember it clearly — He’d smiled brightly when his eyes met yours, eyes crinkling into tiny little half-moons before his expression turned neutral. At that moment, you were lost into the abyss that was his midnight black orbs. They seemed to hold glimmering stars in them, ones that outshone the specks of white in the night sky.

Looking back, you didn’t think of it much, opting to shake your head off it’s daze before running to where Jeongin stood, throwing a bottle of water into his backpack and laughing at some corny jokes the rest of the group cracked.

Jeongin was a friend — a good friend. In fact, you could call him your best friend, though it had never been verbalized. You couldn’t remember exactly when or how you’d gotten closer to him — it just happened, like everything important in this world did. Like how Jeongin says “It was fate, Y/N, fate” in that old-man-philosopher voice to get you to laugh (Of course it would never work, but you’d still laugh, because anything to see him give you that bright, toothy grin and that little scrunch of his nose in acknowledgement).

The memory of how it all started  is as clear as the sky, as pure as the pigment of a rose.

“Don’t stray too far away, alright? Meet me back here in two hours.” The instructor screams, and all the students chime in with a collective “Yes, ma’am!”. 

 “Good, now go collect your flowers.”

A flower-picking expedition isn’t a common event in a school field trip, at least in your school. You’re more used to the normal visits to the ice cream factory, or the butterfly park (which, to be fair, had some pretty flowers, if only you could pick them) or another affiliated school. Nevertheless, you don’t complain, because the prospect of your school giving you a chance to collect all the pretty flowers you could spot here had you on top of the clouds.

You’re allowed to go alone or in groups of two, and of course, Jeongin has you by the arm the moment your teacher had screamed “Disperse!” at the top of her lungs (P.E teachers had a thing for screaming, apparently). Ignoring the teasing glances the other boys made towards the both of you, you set sail on your path, scanning all the bushes for any wild and unique flowers you could find.

“Oh look, there’s one!” You pointed out after a good four-minute-walk, almost stumbling in your one-inch-too-tight-shoes and ignoring Jeongin’s giggle at your antics. You beckoned him over to where you were standing and he obliged, tucking his sweater paws into his pockets before walking over to where you were staring at the pretty flower.

So, flowers. They’d always fascinated you. You’d developed said fascination ever since you were six. Something about the sheer way the petals were arranged, the various ranges of coloring — vivid, gradient, muted — the beauty of something so delicate and intricate always drew you in. You found yourself examining a flower for hours, and surprisingly, you never grew tired of it. They’d helped you through a lot when you felt particularly down, too. Perfect distraction — snuggling against Jeongin’s arm and playing with the flower he’d always pick out for every visit, surrounded by calming; almost numbing silence along with the sound of his steady breathing, maybe sometimes his heartbeat too when he’d get overly affectionate. Flowers in a way, in every way, were your escape. You loved them. 

“Hmmm.” Jeongin hummed over the sounds of the leaves susurrating and rustling on the ground, the wind enveloping you like a cold, yet oddly comfortable blanket. He fixed his round glasses over his nose, quickly flipping through his encyclopedia. No one really questioned him as to why he carried it wherever he went — but just like you, he had a vivid fascination for flowers too. It was something the both of you fit like a glove on, and you were beyond grateful to meet someone who could click with you so well.

“This is wolfsbane, we can’t pick it.” He said, shaking his head. “It’s poisonous, the whole plant is.”

“Oh…” You pouted, staring at the flower once more. You took in the sight of lush, violet petals, the way they wrapped around the centre and had almost no smell.

“Hey.” He touched your hand worriedly. “You didn’t touch them, right?”

“No, I didn’t. I know better than to touch plants without knowing what they are.”

“Good.” There you could see it again. That lovely, bright smile, one more of relief this time. When you looked into his eyes, you seemed lost — you could capture every flutter of his lashes against his cheeks, count every lustrous star that was laid in his eyes. “That’s good, the poison can be absorbed easily through your skin.”

“Yeah.” You let yourself smile at him, hands dropping down to fiddle with the hem of your frock. 

“Come on, I wanna get some shots for my book. Plus some flowers.” Pulling at your hand, he led you amidst the varying degrees of green and the damp smell of grass for a good distance, before halting in front of a bush. You knew what he’s referencing to by ‘shots’. The camera that hangs around his back, ready to immortalize the memory into his SD card, or rather make a polaroid (or a painting, if he’s being artistic) and tape it to his notebook along with the pressed flower.

“Look!”

Trip a step back, and you yelp at the sudden intrusion to your pace, pouting at Jeongin before looking in the direction he had his eyes fixated on. “Roses.” You giggle, kneeling in front of the bush and hissing when you feel the damp coldness of the grassy floor seep into your knees. “They’re pretty.” 

You can barely hear the sound of students walking past you — the moment seems almost captivating — nothing heard, nothing felt except the whirring of the wind, and the fresh smell of various plants mixed together, it carries.

This part of the garden seems particularly shady and cool, and some of the roses haven’t bloomed yet. A few rosebuds, a few half-bloomed roses, and two fully bloomed, deep red roses, sitting nicely against the green foliage.

Jeongin kneels before you, and you turn to smile at him, chortling at the way his glasses are about to fall over his nose again. You ruffle his black hair gently before fixing the glasses up his nose. 

“You might wanna get a chain attached to that thing. You know those strings that go around your neck and to your glasses to hold them in place?”

Jeongin chuckles. “It’s alright. I don’t like my glasses anyways.”

“Whyyy…?” You whine, poking his arm playfully before directing your focus back on the rose. “You look so adorable with them.”

Your friend feels a smile tug at his lips, leaning in to pinch your cheeks lightly. “You’re adorable.” He says, before focusing on the rose, (thankfully) oblivious to the way your cheeks feel warm after his action.

“Here, let me pick them out and then we can press them into our journals.” Yes. The both of you have matching journals, owing to your near obsession with flowers. You oft share them with each other and get fascinated by how the other views the flower, how they delicately craft words into how the little gift of nature meant to them. It’s a heartwarming tradition — one of the main reasons you follow it till date. 

Jeongin pulls out a pair of scissors from his satchel, and albeit with a lot of force (and the adorable nose scrunch™, manages to cut off a decent amount of stem with the fully bloomed flower, carefully bringing it to his nose to smell it before doing the same to the other one. And all the while, you silently watch.

“Here, this one is more fresh.” It’s so surprising how he can just say that by looking at the flower. Then again, you know him better than anyone, so it’s not surprising at all. He looks at you with dreamy, fluttering eyes and that precious smile on his face, his hair falling perfectly on his forehead. You want to reach out and fix the stray hairs back into position, but you hold back, swallowing the lump in your throat when you look into his pretty, pretty eyes. Trying your damnedest to not get mesmerized, lost in them once again.

It doesn’t seem like a very, very special moment. And to you at that time, it wasn’t special. You simply ignored the heat that crept up your face at his silent gesture, nodding sporadically and ignoring the way you tensed up more when your fingers touched, barely.

Your heart suddenly thumped against your chest with renewed vigour, and you could tell Jeongin was close to noticing it too. 

“T-thank you, that's very sweet.” Fixing the frills of your frock, you smooth them over before looking further and deeper into the garden.

“Lend me a hand, please.”

You once again, ignore the way your heart flutters at his statement, silently extending your hand and covering up your sudden emotion with a smile. His hand feels soft, warm in your hold, fingertips slightly rough from when he used to play the violin. You like it, though.

“Here.” He places the rose carefully in your palm, making sure no thorns prick the delicate skin of your palm, and you can’t help but smile at the tiny reassurance. A nod of approval and you tuck the flower away neatly into your satchel, almost like a valuable present he’d given you, oblivious to the way Jeongin’s eyes twinkled at your action, his smile beaming.

My god, who would’ve known this flower could’ve brought you so, so much trouble?

It had started simple, almost unnoticeable. Just little glances towards Jeongin when he’d come over to watch a movie, getting lost in the way his hair looked exceptionally soft to touch, silently drifting off into space as you admired him from the backseat during class — sure, you were supposed to be focusing on the lesson and taking notes, but something about the way the rim of Jeongin’s sunglasses caught the sunlight and created a lens flare effect was breathtaking to watch.

That, combined with his beauty, his personality. It was too much, too much to handle.

You found yourself waiting to get a glimpse of him, even a tiny glance of his smile would be enough to make your day — to make your heart flutter. 

He was pretty.

You suppose it’s because being Jeongin’s best friend meant you already knew about the kind and empathetic man he was — but for the love of god, you could not stop your heart from fluttering when you heard his name, let alone looked at him and his mind-numbingly pretty smile, his dazzling eyes that always seemed to keep you off the ground.

Oh my, was this love?

You didn’t believe it. You didn’t agree, couldn’t accept that this was love. Maybe it was just your way of showing appreciation for him, for everything he’d done for you? Yes. That was probably it. 

Love wasn’t something you’d experienced — how could you jump to the conclusion? 

But you couldn’t pin the feeling you were feeling to another word — though you were desperate. The way your heart beat faster around him, the way you started noticing all the tiny details that made you fall for him even more, and for what? Just because he happened to give you a fresher, more lusciously colored rose after choosing them on his own? 

Jeongin had noticed it too — it was hard not to when you’d start fiddling with your thumbs, twirling your hair, and the way heat would rush to your face when he did as little as smile at you — you’d fallen for him — and while he was ever-the-oblivious to realise the implications of your actions, he did know that something was wrong.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Jeongin asks rather dully, seeming kind of worried about your current state. You’re resting your head against his lap, but Jeongin can feel the warmth of your cheek through the thin material of his shorts — and not the regular kind. The kind of heat one would radiate when they’d either been overly flustered. Or possibly a fever.

He rests a single palm against your cheek and your eyes flutter shut, and there it is again. The butterflies in your stomach, the fuzzies in your head, and the tingling that shot up to your fingertips. “Are you sick? Is that why you’re oddly quiet today? You haven’t said or eaten anything.”

“Ah, no, I’m alright.” You try to hide the dizziness in your voice, snuggling in his hold before fluttering your eyes close. Thankfully, Jeongin doesn’t question it. 

“Alright, we won’t talk about it if you don’t want to.” Even though you aren’t facing him right now, you can feel him smile in melancholy. 

“Hey Y/N?” 

“Yes?”

“You know I’m here for you, right?”

Oh, you knew.

Sometimes you wish you didn’t — maybe that would’ve prevented it from ending this way.

It’s such a common scenario — in movies, in books, in media. Two best friends falling in love with each other, confessing their love in the warm and intimate setting of the night sky, over gentle touches and lingering kisses. You’ve always had an attachment to those kinds of movies or books — because for you, that kind of love was special in it’s own way.

Those little ways the lead characters had of showing each other their undying love, those subtle acts were so special, so special in their own way. Those books had shown you how heartwarming, how vulnerable yet rigid, strong that relationship could be. It was such a pretty world to explore, to fantasize. You kind of felt that you and Jeongin were the protagonists of those books, those movies.

Except, you had no happy ending.

The books failed to show how painful it was to swallow, to digest the fact that you could be nothing more than friends. Sure, there had been some moments where the main leads would be sad, but it was nothing compared to this, this suffocation in your chest that slowly built up, day by day, minute by minute, second by second.

It was hard.

The first prick in your chest hadn’t been entirely painful. It was barely noticeable even. Simply a tiny jolt of pain when you bent forward to grab your books from your locker. It had only been a slight jab, like when you’d accidentally poke yourself in the rib with the edge of your hardcover diary while picking it up. Nothing too hard.

Then came the slight feeling of breathlessness. You found yourself unable to run a full round in P.E (when you could easily do so beforehand), having to stop in between to catch your breath. You figured it could’ve been your dust allergy because the P.E room wasn’t cleaned that often, so it made sense. Somewhat. Still sceptical, but nonetheless, you covered up your random outbursts of coughs with any and every excuse you could find when your parents questioned you about it.

It was hard, but you figured it was just a matter of winter passing by, and soon you’d be alright.

Would you, though? You couldn’t bring yourself to accept that there was in fact something wrong happening to you, pushing behind that feeling of paranoia every time with a smile on your face and a hold of your breath, wishing for the pain to ebb away.

Who would’ve thought that a sudden infatuation would have led to your demise?

Jeongin can hear the noises.

Those loud, dragged out wisps of air that you borderline struggle to take in and expel out, Jeongin can hear them.

He can feel your struggle. It’s not easy for him to look at you like this, curled up into a ball and ignoring the rampant burn in your chest. The movie isn’t even the main focus right now. Jeongin has something to say, and he’s had enough of watching you struggle. He’s rather here to persuade you to go to the fucking doctor, and get some sort of diagnosis instead of beating around the bush.

Strange. Jeongin feels oddly affectionate today, when usually you’re the one to initiate such gestures. All he wants to do is pull you into his arms and rock you back and forth until you fall asleep, because you seriously seem like you need it.

“Y/N,” he calls, watching you lift your head up from where it’s rested against your knees. You don’t reply, because right now, your throat seems like a barren desert and all you can seem to let out is a croak.

Jeongin sighs and rolls his eyes as if in deep thought, turning on the couch to face you before touching the tops of your cheeks with his hands — they seem overly feverous. 

“What’s going on?” He asks sternly.

“What d-do you mean?” You manage to get out, feeling your chest hurt more and more with each syllable that leaves past your lips in a croaked voice. It felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing your chest with the sharp edge of the knife, the burn in your throat and lungs getting too much to handle. You can’t even tear your focus from the fiery sensation to revel in the feeling of Jeongin’s soft palms cupping your cheeks.

“Y/N, you’ve been acting weird ever since the expedition.” Worry is laced throughout his tone, mixed in with a dash of sorrow to give rise to the most heartbreaking sound you’ve ever heard. Though you know otherwise, it almost seems as though Jeongin is disappointed in you.

“You’ve been getting more and more sick—” he raises a hand to stop you from contradicting his statement. You only look at him with mellow eyes, knowing that what he says is right. You’ve been ignoring your health for too long. 

You can’t help it, either. While you have an inkling of what might’ve happened, you’re too stubborn to accept it, let along your unrequited love for your best friend, who seems ever-the-oblivious.

“—and you can’t tell me it’s the winter allergy, love. I know you more than that to believe it.”

Shaking your head in dismay, you turn around to get up. You can’t be having this conversation right now, not with the faintest taste of blood lingering at the edge of your throat — you can’t be showing yourself like this in front of him — broken down, vulnerable, confused of your own feelings, having no idea of what you should be doing.

Your mother had pointed it out too, at this point. They suggested going to the doctor, and you outright refused. You didn’t want your suspicion to come to life. It couldn’t- it couldn’t be this way-

“Y/N!”

Jeongin grabs your hands to stop you in your position and turns you around.

And that’s a wrong move.

Your whole chest tightens, and the thorns that stab against your chest has never been more painful. You cry out loudly, only causing them to dig deeper into your skin and almost bleed. Jeongin’s eyes widen in shock at your sudden, unexpected reaction and only tightens his grasp on your hands.

Which again, is a very wrong move, because the following bouts of coughs that take over you shake you up from the core. Jeongin feels blanked out looking at how much you’re suffering right now, so much that he doesn’t feel the wet, yet light flutter on the back of his hand.

When Jeongin snaps back in from his momentary daze, he’s borderline horrified.

He’s convinced, completely certain that there’s nothing more terrifying, heartbreaking, scarring — he could go on and on — than what he just saw. He can almost feel his heart break into a million tiny shards, but he knows that it’s nowhere equivalent to the pain you’re going through.

Well, looks like your suspicion did come to life.

Because what Jeongin sees is, gah, he feels horrified. There’s blood dripping down your lip, staining the skin below garnet red. Your eyes are tinted pinkish-red too, most likely from the exertion that came along with the horrendous amount of coughs that took over you.

Red, red everywhere. Jeongin had previously thought of red as one of the most beautiful, and most interesting colors ever — a symbolism of love, nothing but the pure love he felt towards you.

But now, all he could think of was how much he was tormented by the mere sight of the color.

When his eyes, still blown wide in shock, trail down to his lap, the mere sight of what’s littered on it leaves him in tears.

Red petals, everywhere. All over the back of his hands, all over your lap, all over his lap.

Jeongin could probably spend ages, ages sobbing and whimpering about the sheer pain the sight in front of him brought. It tormented him beyond imagination. This should be a dream — Jeongin wants to wake up any second now, anywhere, in your lap, in his own bed, just anything to save his heart from seeing you this way.

Yet when you cough again, the pain in his heart tells otherwise.

“Y/N!” He chokes out a cry, and from there, he acts quick. He could cry about this later — he needs to find you some help, and now. 

You feel numb. As numb as you possibly can when you see the tears in Jeongin’s eyes, though your sight is clouded by your own tears. You’re numb to the blood dripping down your chin and pooling in your lap, you’re numb to the feeling of those bloody petals littered all over the couch. 

“We need to get you to the hospital, quick.” He gets up, wiping his eyes that are surprisingly, surprisingly overflowing with tears. You barely feel the handkerchief quickly wiping against your mouth, causing you to snap from your trance and look at him. The numbness doesn’t fade yet.

You doubt it ever will.

You’re not sure that the events after the incident go super quickly or as slow as a snail, and you’re not in any state to care about it either. Jeongin had called your mother when he drove you to the hospital — albeit over the sound of your repetitive and raucous coughs — and now your mom’s standing next to him outside, nervously prancing back and forth as he waits for the doctors to come out.

The hospital corridor is moderately lit — perfect setting for Jeongin’s mood right now. There’s no sound except for the occasional encounter when a nurse or doctor happens to walk past them. The hanahaki treatment section of the hospital isn’t the most crowded place — surprisingly enough, the doctors had immediately known what had happened to you.

Your mother can’t bring herself to thank Jeongin for dragging you to the hospital — she’s too paranoid. Your daughter coughing up blood and — Jeongin hadn’t mentioned it to her — flower petals over a movie night isn't the best news you’d want to receive when her friend calls you; so Jeongin understands why your mother is overly quiet.

He doesn’t try to reassure her either. It’s hard to do so when she’s gonna find out her daughter houses a wedding bouquet in her chest — and Jeongin isn’t that oblivious to not know what’s going on, especially standing in the hanahaki department of the clinic. His mother, not so much. All she can do is silently sob and mutter prayers repeatedly, hoping her daughter would be alright. Jeongin feels his heart break more when he sees your mom like this, and he knows he’s not gonna last at this rate, when he’s allowed to enter your room.

At this point, he can’t get past his own brain screaming a million different things at the same time, none of them coherent enough to make sense. He’s a mess right now — red eyes puffy and swollen, hair completely disheveled and half of his sweatshirt hanging out of where it was  neatly tucked in.

Two hands at his heart, and that’s when he notices the red rose petal stuck to the back of his hand, probably from when you’d coughed all over it. It’s fairly large in size — Jeongin examines it, in a slightly successful attempt at trying to distract from the feeling of anxiety that builds up inside bit by bit. It’s a deep, dark red color, exactly like the rose he’d given you that day, at the trip.

The boy sighs to himself before pulling the petal off his hand, eyes widening when the blood underneath it tints the skin it runs across. 

That’s when a lump forms in his throat, but he isn’t given time to cry, because soon enough, the sound of a door opening clicks through his ears, and Jeongin’s head snaps up.

He can see you from where he’s standing, and his whole world freezes in front of his eyes.

The flowers inside your chest had grown moderately large — that’s what the doctor said, at least. You’d been hiding your disease for two months, and it wasn’t until the end that Jeongin caught on — you’d been too stubborn to accept your fate. Maybe this was how it was supposed to end, after all. 

You couldn’t accept it then, but you did now. Did it seriously make a difference?

Jeongin had seen your scan, and what he saw would’ve truly been pretty, if not for the fact that these flowers could be the cause for your imminent death. The roses had almost fully bloomed — and the thorns were pricklier than ever. Jeongin could almost feel them stab against his skin, and he didn’t even have the disease. It was confusing — things were too confusing right now.

You couldn’t speak much, the painkillers you were on were making you drowsy and causing you to quickly fall asleep. Even if you weren’t asleep, it wouldn’t have made a difference.

Numbness ran through your veins. You couldn’t bring yourself to feel anything after what had happened.

Jeongin and your mother hadn’t spoken to you after the doctor had shown them your scan, and they preferred to not break the news to you either, figuring that you were pretty shaken up from the incident already.

The doctor said he could give you two weeks before the flowers filled your lungs completely and blocked your throat.

And Jeongin is devastated.

When the effect of your painkillers wear off and you open your eyes, you feel a soft sensation brushing against your thumb, slowly turning to look at your best friend — tears streaked all over his face, eyes ridden with dark circles and red and puffy, his voice sounded nasal as he silently cried, eyesight focused on the floor.

“J-Jeongin…?” You mumble past your oxygen mask, surprisingly not noticing it’s presence until right now,

He perks up at the painful call, lifting his head to gaze into your eyes. He looks worse than you look right now, if you’re to be honest. You doubt he’s even brushed his teeth or had breakfast. The hospital room is pretty dim just like the exterior, but the sunlight coming from the open window is enough to light up the whole room, enough to at least see your friend’s features clearly.

“You’re awake.” he says as a matter-of-fact and you nod, gently taking off the contraption placed against your nose. Jeongin flinches like he wants to stop you. But then freezes when you try to slowly get up.

Turns out that’s a wrong move, because you can soon feel the thorns of the garden you have in your lungs prick against your skin, making you gasp and shriek in agony. Jeongin jerks up and places a hand on your back, and the other across your stomach — and gently maneuvers you into an awkward but comfortable position, before lifting the top of the bed into a reclining position before laying you down onto it.

“Careful, love.”

Your chest tightens at the actions once again, yet you try not to cough like you did the last time. Surprisingly biting on your tongue works to rid the feeling of suffocation, or at least distracts from it.

“Where’s m-mom?”

“She went to pick up some of your essentials, plus a few clothes.”

“D-did she eat? Did you eat?”

Jeongin smiles at your concern. It’s something he’s found endearing about you — how you always seem to put others first, even though you’re in a worse situation. Though the habit isn’t healthy, Jeongin can’t seem to get over how thoughtful one would have to be to act that way all the time. You’re so innocent, so kind — you’re one of a kind, at least for him.

“What?” You chuckle, noticing Jeongin’s lingering stare on you.

Your friend only beams, taking your hand in his once again. “I forced her to eat something because of her medication, so you don’t have to worry. I ate along with her too, though the canteen’s food doesn’t taste that well.” 

A soft giggle leaves your lips and quickly morphs into a set of coughs, more petals fluttering all over your lap and hands. When Jeongin stands up to call a doctor, you lift a hand to stop him, gesturing for him to sit down.

It isn’t as intense as the first time, but there’s still a tiny bit of blood dripping from the corner of your mouth, which Jeongin quickly goes to wipe off with his thumb. You flinch at the warm touch, sighing to yourself before dropping your gaze to your lap.

“So…” You start. “What did the doctor say?”

“What?”

Jeongin seems visibly tense at your question, kind of like he was dreading it. Which he was. He knows enough about this to know that patients usually don’t like knowing, and in fact can be traumatised by knowing that their apparent death would be in two weeks.

Jeongin in fact has no idea how he’s so calm. He should be sobbing, trashing, looking for a way to hold you back. He shouldn’t be so calm.

He figures he’s just accepted fate. He’s relishing what could be his last moments with you.

You don’t reply, and Jeongin knows he’ll have to make something up.

“They said it’s just a regular allerg-”

“Jeongin.”

The boy freezes.

“Don’t lie to me.” Your voice is laid with so much pain, Jeongin wants to reach out and crush every problem you have into his fist. He wants all your sorrow and worry to dissolve, and right now, he just feels helpless. He feels powerless.

“How many days do I have left?” You ask, sniffling before wiping your tears away. “Just tell me already, Jeongin-”

Jeongin’s grip tightens against your hand as he whispers — “Two weeks.” 

The words are only let out as a soft mumble, as though Jeongin himself is questioning the statement the doctors put forth. Really, in two weeks? Would you really be gone? Would he seriously never see more of your smiles, your loving gaze, those times when you’d get overly shy of his compliments, those times when you’d silently smile at him from afar?

Was this the end?

“Two weeks.” You repeat. Your voice honestly sounds like a croaking frog, but you can’t bring yourself to care. 

“Hey Y/N…?” Jeongin hesitantly calls.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?” He puts his other hand on yours. “Two questions, actually.”

“Mhm?”

“This disease you have… hana-”

“Hanahaki.”

“Yeah, that.” A hand runs against the back of his neck and he continues. “Be honest, did you know that- that you had this disease before I found out?”

“Jeongin…” You’re about to shake your head, but then you remember the deadline. The deadline by which, you’re no longer going to be here, no longer going to be able to cuddle Jeongin during movie dates, no longer be able to even look at him from afar, or close for that matter. In other words, you didn’t want to end your days with him based on a lie.

Therefore you sigh, breathing out a ‘yes’ as your shoulders droop down.

You can hear Jeongin’s shaky sigh too.

“W-why?” He clenches your hand tightly, sadness mixing in with what you can only call disappointment. “How could you be so selfish?”

It's too late to take back those words now.

“Wh-what?” You raise your eyebrows, feeling scared at his sudden question. “Jeongin, I wanted to be sure-”

Oh who are you kidding? Jeongin and you both know that you’d hidden it because you didn’t want to accept it. It’s too late to change that now.

And Jeongin seems to know that too.

“Don’t- Y/N.” His breath morphs into sharp inhales, as though he’s downright angry at your actions — you know he has every reason to be — still, it doesn’t ease the pain in your heart. Or maybe that’s just the flowers.

“Do you think this is a joke?” His sobs grow louder in fervour, and you feel yourself break at the sight. The room is so, so quiet that you can hear his faint mumbles. You can hear the cries his heart screams in agony, letting you go is painful for him. The thought, rather the sound, only makes the plant in your heart grow further.

“Y/N- did you not think of your mother? Of me? Did you not think of what would have happened if you left us? You think it’s gonna be easy on the both of us? On everyone?” His gaze stern and his voice stable, you don’t get affected by his words, but you do understand what he means — and maybe wish that you could’ve reversed your actions.

“How could you, Y/N?” He gets up from where he’s seated beside your hospital bed. “How could you think that this would be the most appropriate action?”

Jeongin knows he’s angry. Jeongin knows you’re going through a lot. But he’s too.

He’s not angry at you, not at himself, but fate. He’s mad that this is your fate, that you have to go away so soon. He’s mad that he can’t do anything to help you, in any manner.

You don’t say a word, which only causes Jeongin to sigh — disappointedly, again — and walk to where his coat is hung against the edge of his bed, picking it off and pulling it over him in a hurry. Every cell in you wants to scream at him, apologize for what you did, but your voice feels small, almost like you can’t force it out of your throat.

He goes towards the door that leads to the corridor, stopping for a second before turning to look at you.

“Are you gonna tell me, at least, who this person is?”

“W-what?” Things are too confusing right now.

“Hanahaki comes with unrequited love, Y/N. Are you gonna tell me who didn’t return your love?”

“You didn’t” You want to say. But then again, you stay quiet, not being able to handle the intensity of the moment.

Jeongin wants for two seconds, then sighs and shakes his head. “Whatever, I guess.”

And then he leaves.

In the next week, your health goes down drastically. More of petals expelled out of your lungs, more blood dripping from between your lips, more of your mother’s horrified expression as she runs away from the room while the doctors tend to your coughs. More sobs from your mother when she thinks you’re asleep, more melancholic smiles when you’re awake.

But you feel so empty.

Every piece of you feels like it’s being ripped apart. You can’t even sit up without someone’s help, of such intensity is the pain. The pain of knowing that your love would never be returned. 

The pain of knowing that you hurt the person you loved truly.

You were put on your oxygen mask 24/7, and instructed to not take it off whatsoever. Your medication stopped taking it’s usual effect, and if anyone saw you the way you were outside the current circumstances, they’d have assumed that you haven't slept for 8 days and were going to crumble into the earth any second.

“Honey?”

You gasp at the sudden intrusion to your thoughts, turning around to see your mother, sitting next to you and holding your hand with her own. You hum as a response, clearly unable to respond more than a mere mumble.

“Did you and Jeongin fight?”

A pang of guilt floods through your nerves at the mention of your friend’s name. He’d come to visit you only once in the past week. Perhaps even he couldn’t handle the fact that your death certificate was ready to be signed soon, and was trying to not be tormented by the fact. Or perhaps he was just angry.

“W-why?” You croak.

“I convinced him to come stay here while I go pick up a fresh change of clothes, but it took me quite a bit of arguing.”

You feel sad for her. She’s clearly paranoid — you can hear it in her voice, the shake lingers throughout. Yet she holds it in, trying not to let you worry about it.

You don’t answer her question. The last thing you need is for her to get mad at you too, though you doubt it. Your mom has never been the kind to yell at you for anything — provided, you’ve never given her a reason either.

“Do you think he’s mad because I didn’t tell him about the person who didn’t return m-my l-lo-ve…?” your throat goes dry towards the end and your mother quickly hands you a glass of water. You chug it down and sigh in relief, breath still short.

“Is that person him?” Your mother questions with her gentle, soothing voice one that can make you relax on the first listen. There’s no use lying to her, you figure. She knows you too well to do that, plus, like you said, you couldn’t bring yourself to end your days with her on a lie.

“Yeah…”

“Oh sweetheart,” She brushes some of your hair off your face, sitting down again before drumming her fingers against the back of your hand gently. “I don’t think he could be mad at you.”

“But he is. Didn’t y-you see? He didn’t bother to meet me as much after our argument. He’c c-clearly mad.”

“Hmmm,” Your mother ponders. “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope. I have known him for a while, dear. He’s been with you for more than five years. Maybe he’s having trouble taking this in? Just like…” Your mother stops after that, but you know the completion.

Just like her.

“I’m sorry, mom.”

You simply don’t get it. You should be scared. You should be sad and devastated that your end was going to come soon.  You should be thrashing around and crying and wailing in despair — you just don’t have  the energy to even bother about your end. It’s depressing, but you know there’s no way you could avoid the inevitable, or get your lover to return your love.

Love wasn’t supposed to be something forced, it had to happen naturally. And if Jeongin didn’t develop it naturally, you just had to learn to live with it. Or not.

“Don’t be, darling. Everyone deserves to love, just like how they deserve it back. I wish it could’ve ended differently.”

“It’s alright mom. He loves me too… just not on the way I love him.”

You sniffle as a single tear runs down your chin, though you and your mom aren’t given enough time to speak more when you hear a familiar voice at the door. 

“Hey Mrs. L/N.” Jeongin says, shrugging off his half snow-covered coat before hanging it onto the bedside. Did he seriously walk in the snow? All the way here?

“Hello, Jeongin dear.” Your mother stands up, picking her coat before moving to fish the car keys from her purse. “Thank you for watching over Y/N while I’m gone, darling.”

“It’s no problem, Mrs. L/N.”

“Oh, so formal.” Your mom chuckles, though in her despaired state. “Y/N, you get some sleep, it’s about midnight dear.” She leans over to kiss your forehead while Jeongin excuses himself to the washroom, and you nod. 

“Good night mom.”

“Good night, and don’t worry about him. He’ll talk to you eventually.”

Oh, how reassuring. “Mhm.” You smile, closing your eyes to drift into slumber before Jeongin returns, because the last thing you need right now is to feel sad and cry over how you’d hurt him.

By the time the sound of the door clicking resounds through the space, you’re already asleep.

 It’s way past midnight. Jeongin shouldn’t be up. 

Somehow, he still finds himself seated next to your bed, staring fondly at your calm features as you finally get the rest you’ve needed for the past few days. 

Oh, he wouldn’t be able to compare your sheer beauty to even that of the moon; even when you’re in such a fragile and vulnerable state. Your eyelashes are still and unmoving where they sit against your skin, your breath is calm and slightly wavering as you struggle to breathe slightly. 

His hand slips into your own gently, and his heart melts when you shift, tightening your grasp on his warm skin before falling into a slumber again.

Why was he mad in the first place? Jeongin feels dumb for acting so quickly on his emotions, especially when you’re in a bad place at the moment. He wants to wake you up and apologize, but he can’t, because you’re sound asleep — and that’s a good thing, since seep comes so scarcely to you these days.

Then, a single tear falls from his eyes. His thoughts traverse to the dream he had the previous night — you, cold, dead in his arms. Him, sobbing, trying to wake you up but you’re really gone. He can’t even hear your mother’s cries from behind him, because he’s devastated to know that you’ve left him. The dream had woken him up in a cold sweat — it was then he realised that he’d committed a mistake, and agreed to come visit you, because you had about 5 days left.

His thoughts then traverse to the conversation you had with your mother, while he was standing outside in the cold hospital corridor, curiously listening.

“Is that person him?” “Yeah…”

When he heard those words, countess, infinite thoughts crashed at his head; all at once. Nothing made any sense. The reality of the situation was dawning on him too quickly, and Jeongin was having a hard time processing it. 

You loved him? He was the person who didn’t return your love?

“Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N?” He mumbles in confusion — so much confusion, so much hurt — he wanted time to just stop for awhile and give him a fair chance to analyze the situation.

But, once all the initial thoughts were out of the way, only one question remained:

Was he the reason you were going to die?

Jeongin felt like a murderer — like he’d just stabbed you in cold blood. He knows it is’t like that — just like you’d said, love should come natural. So why did Jeongin feel so bad? WHy did he feel like he was the one at fault?

A fond smile crosses his lips when he remembers the book where you keep all your flowers safely. Who would have thought your fondness for flowers would morph into the reason for your demise?

Quiet, hushed in the midnight wind, Jeongin gently brings out the rose he’d picked from his satchel. It’s almost relieving to see a rose in it’s true glory, without scattered petals or blood covering the flower. A part of him grows sad that you won’t be able to gush over flowers together anymore, he won’t be able to see your smile anymore. It hurts him. It stabs his heart over and over again, and Jeongin is pained — almost like he’s being put to death slowly — he wants the pain to end, but only suffers and suffers.

The stem has already been cut and the thorns have been thrown out. Jeongin leans over to tuck the flower behind your ear, fingers brushing against the almost cold skin at the back of your ear before letting another tear slip from his eye, running down his cheek and falling on your palm.

A strange, oh-so-strange feeling creeps up on him. It’s like… a fluttering in his heart? Jeongin can’t quite place it — heck, he doesn’t try to make sense of it. There are more important things to look at, right now. He suddenly has the urge to pull you into his arms and gently murmur sweet words into your ear — seems odd for a situation like this, but oh well, feelings are feelings.

He pats your hand gently and smiles, before moving to sleep on the smaller bed in front of your own. Not allowed to go far, though, because your grip on his hands tighten almost immediately, and Jeongin tightens to look into your eyes, sparkly and slightly droopy from the intrusion of sleep.

“Y/N, go to-”

“Stay.” You mumble, feeling your voice choke as the petals threaten to spill out for what seems like the millionth time. Yet, you manage to spill out another, “Please?”

Jeongin feels like he’s about to cry. Your expression is so, so hopeful, he can’t bring himself to deny. He wouldn’t in the first place, because who was he to deny what could be his friend’s last wish?

A sob bubbles up his throat, but he swallows it down, smiling with melancholy before following your weak pull on his hand, genty climbing on your bed before slotting himself between you and the steel grill that prevented patients from falling down. He gently tucks his hand under you and pulls you close to himself, tensing up for a second when you wrap an arm around his own, gently rubbing on it before drifting off to sleep. You want to cherish this moment — this could be the last time before you could never see him again. Fuck your medication for making you so drowsy. Or not, because you were certain you would start crying, and that would certainly not end well.

The whole room falls silent for two seconds, and you fall asleep almost immediately. 

And then, Jeongin releases all his tears, and everything comes crashing down on him. He breaks apart.

The world was too cruel to you. He was cruel to you. He can’t believe that in less than a week, you’d be gone. Gone from earth. Flowers had lost all their beauty for him, the moment he saw you coughing them up on that couch during movie night.

He wanted to do anything. He wanted any small sign to show that you would stay with him. He was in so much pain, he couldn’t accept your fate. He wanted to grab your hand and pull you to himself, keep you close, he couldn’t let go, he couldn’t give you up, he couldn’t —

“I love you.” You mumble unconsciously in your sleep, and Jeongin loses it then and there. His throat feels dry as tears flow and flow and don’t cease no matter what. His body shakes like a sobbing child, but thankfully you’re knocked out from the effect of your medication. He hasn’t cried this hard in a while, guess there’s a first time for everything. The three words pierce his heart, and they suddenly hold more meaning than anything — Jeongin wants to hear those words on a loop; he feels strangely ecstatic when you say them.

And so, with a shaky voice and a sorrowful tone, Jeongin replies after pressing a kiss to your forehead — “I-I love you, t-too.”

His eyes flutter shut and he basks in your arms just one last time, holding you close to himself as he finally, finally finds himself at peace, next to you.

When your mother finds you both snuggled up and asleep together, a smile crosses her lips. A hopeful smile.

“Are you ready for your scan, Y/N?”

You feel oddly light today — one would say it’s because your body was close to shutting down completely, but your throat felt a bit, a tiny bit clearer and less barren than a fucking desert. Nevertheless, the scan does make you nervous. This would make clear how long the flowers would take to reach your throat — the doctor’s estimation was about three days, which seemed way too short for Jeongin.

Oh, how embarrassing it was when the nurses, all giggly and mushy-eyed, found you snuggled with Jeongin like a teddy bear at the early hours of the morning, waking you and Jeongin up and only cracking up more at your bewildered expressions when you find yourself tangled with each other.

Before the scan, Jeongin had held your hand softly, leaning down to press another kiss to your forehead. You’d shyly smiled, nodding before letting the nurse drag you to the scanning room.

The details of the scan itself aren’t important, it went pretty well — as decent as a scan could possibly go. You’re able to cooperate with your nurses pretty feasibly, you feel the sudden urge to get out of your wheelchair and try walking. Sure, you can still feel the choked feeling in your throat and the burn in your lungs, but somehow, it’s just a tiny bit lesser than usual. Maybe it’s because your painkillers are working more effectively. Maybe.

Jeongin’s waiting for you outside when you’re led out of the room, and he smiles when he sees you.

You don’t even remember what you’d said the previous night. All you remember was passing out while Jeongin was in the washroom, and then waking up to him cuddled up, warm and snug next to you. His features were clear and calm as the ocean on a sunny day, a small smile on his lips, as though he was dreaming about something happy. You hope he did, because that boy deserves the happiness.

“You seem energetic today.” Jeongin says, taking note of your perky demeanour, that only causes you to giggle slightly. 

Sure, you don’t remember the happenings of last night, but he does — and he’d promised himself to cherish every last second. Because in the end, it’s all he can do — for leading you to this state, for getting mad at you and wasting precious time in which he could’ve stayed with you. He’d promised to not let you live your last moment sad and desolated.

“I feel light, for some reason.” You mumble with a broken voice as Jeongin takes the wheelchair from the nurse, listening to what she has to say before bowing and nodding, leading you back to your room.

“What did she say?” You ask, fiddling with your thumbs.

“She said your scan results would come in an hour.” 

“Oh… alright.”

For some reason, you’re too joyous today, after the little surprise you got as soon as your eyes opened. You can’t seem to bother about the end— you want to live in this moment, right now.

When you come back to the room, Jeongin lifts you up bridal style, causing you to gasp before placing you down onto the bed. The nurse waiting there quickly fixes your IV and helps you sit into a comfortable position (though it’s hard when thorns keep pricking at your ribs) before bowing to the both of you, and leaving.

Your mother has once again left to go fix up the house, leaving you in the trust of your best friend. You aren’t complaining though, especially when Jeongin sits down beside your bed, taking your hand in his before playing with your nimble fingers — just like always.

He looks gorgeous today. After a lot of nagging from your mother, he’d used the hospital bathroom to wash his face and comb his hair neatly, and you’re happy about that because he looks fresher and happier than ever. You want him to be smiling and happy, even when you leave, because… did you need a reason? You just wanted him to be happy and content with his life.

The thought invokes an angsty feeling of melancholy, but you brush it away, trying to focus on Jeongin and the silence that drops on the both of you like a warm blanket. You smile softly at him, gently letting go of his hand before tucking a few strands of his hair behind his ear, almost melting when Jeongin’s eyes flutter close.

“Hey Jeongin?” You call, grabbing his hand once again and interlacing the fingers together.

“Yeah?”

“When I… leave,” You notice the twitch in his expression, but nonetheless, continue. “Will you bring me flowers every week?” 

You remember the red rose you’d found tucked behind your ear when you woke up — it had dried up a bit, but nonetheless, it was one of the prettiest objects you’d ever seen — even though there was a whole bouquet of them spewing out your mouth every two seconds.

“I will.” Jeongin sniffles. The thought of having to visit your grave every week to bring you flowers is immensely saddening, but Jeongin agrees anyways. He agrees, for you.

It’s the least he can do.

It’s funny how you say “leave”, like you’re going to your hometown for a month-long vacation and not actually like you’re going to be buried any time soon. Jeongin thinks it’s because you don’t want him to get too sad over his loss — a stupid thing to wish — Jeongin knows this loss is going to affect him in more ways than one.

“Jeongin, d-don’t cry…” You cup his cheek, gently brushing your thumb against his cheek and wiping away the tears that fall, one by one. Jeongin shakes his head, placing his palm on your hand and smiling at you.

“Can you do me another favor?”

“As many as you’d like Y/N.” He says. He’ll do anything you want — it’s your last wish after all.

“Bury me with my flower journal, please?” It may seem like a weird claim to bury oneself with a dusty old book, but Jeongin understands the significance — you want to hold onto those memories you made with him while writing it together, while picking flowers together and all those happy moments you exchanged.

Jeongin tries not to let his voice break again. “I will.”

You beam at his acceptance. Jeongin feels the slight thump of his heart against his chest, and a warm feeling envelopes him from inside. He’s suddenly overcome with an urge to press delicate kisses on your eyelids, though he tries to shoo it away, because it isn’t the main point of focus right now.

But soon your mother walks in, and it’s all small talk and deep conversations with her at the same time. You have breakfast, persuade (more like force) Jeongin to scarf down his meal and giggle about some random jokes thrown here and there, until the doctor comes in. Both Jeongin and your mother stand up, bowing and wishing good morning while you do too. Wish, not stand up. You’re basically tied to the bed at this point.

“Mrs L/N, I’d have had a word with you in private, but I think Miss Y/N needs to hear this too.” 

“What is it, doctor?”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion and Jeongin’s grip on your hand tightens, thumb rubbing over your skin to soothe your obvious tension. The doctor slides the transparent, firm sheet off it’s envelope before letting the sunlight hit the back of it, in order to enable a clearer viewing.

“This is… the most unusual case I’ve ever seen, but —” He points to a junction on the scan. “The flowers have actually reduced in amount, and they've separated from the windpipe by a whole two inches. See?” He points at the edges of the lungs and at the windpipe, but you understand what he means. The flowers are there, no doubt, but it’s almost like — a whole stem of them just disappeared into thin air.

Of course this could’ve been because you coughed them up, but the coughed up flowers go instantly, or so you’ve heard. There’s confusion written on all of your faces right now.

“Is that why I was feeling lighter and easier to breathe today? Because the flowers withered off and gave more space for air?” You ask in your low voice, and your doctor nods.

“Seems like it. Do you have your previous scan?” Your mother hands it to him quickly after a great deal of fishing out of her purse.

He places the earlier scan behind the newer one, and suddenly, you can see what he means. It’s almost like they shrunk — you don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but nonetheless, you’re happy you can breathe a bit more.

“What does this mean, though?” Jeongin asks, bewildered at the strange news. The room is so quiet and the tension is thick enough to cut with a knife, and you can see both your mother and Jeongin waiting for the doctor’s words.

“It means that we’ll take another scan tomorrow, a deeper one. And check if the flowers are actually collecting somewhere else, or just disappearing. And if they are disappearing…” He trails off, and you giggle when Jeongin and your mother lean forward in anticipation, though curious yourself.

“She’ll be home by Christmas. Or even earlier, if the recovery speed is fast.”

“Y-You mean… I can be cured?” Your voice shakes with hope, and the doctor smiles sweetly at you, before nodding.

“Yes dear, you’ll be the first patient who’s walked out of this place cured from hanahaki.”

At that moment, it almost feels like every flower inside your chest wilts out — you feel so light, so ecstatic. You’re over the clouds at the news, and don’t even hear your mother’s cries of thankfulness before the doctor heads out.

“Y/N!” Jeongin exclaims, ignoring the fluttering feeling in his heart and the burn in his cheeks when he cups your own. “You’re gonna come home!”

You shake with soft sobs, and smile at Jeongin.

“I’m gonna come home.” Provided the scan tomorrow showed a positive result, but you don’t bother to mention that part.

And the next day, when your scan results come back, a huge smile adorns your face, and your mother is in tears. Happy tears.

The sunshine is overly bright today, leaving you squinting for sight, especially when you’re seated in a garden out in the open, book in one hand and the other one resting against the cool, moist grass. The air holds a musky forest scent, and you revel in the feeling of the shivers the cold air that cuts through skin brings.

The park is relatively empty for the morning — you’re glad it is, because it brings on a sense of calmness that you seem to like. The surroundings are just perfect — you don’t want anyone to disrupt your mood right now.

So yeah. The story ends that way. You recover, bit by bit, though it takes a whole bunch of time. There were times when you still had to cough out those petals, but you couldn’t be happier — it felt as though you were spitting out those vicious thorns that had tormented and threatened your life. The doctors had no idea how you’d managed to recover — but this was an interesting case to put into their portfolio, so they weren’t complaining.

And oh, you had Jeongin to help you through all of it, of course. 

It had taken you two weeks to be discharged from the hospital and be able to finally walk again, but when you did it — you felt like a whole new person, in a whole new world. Sure, you had to hold onto your mother or Jeongin wherever you went for the first week or so — it was almost like your legs had turned jelly.

When you returned home, Jeongin insisted that he take you to the garden every day, and when you complained that you couldn’t walk, he’d lifted you into his arms (bridal style, again) and carried you all the way there, and then given you a piggyback ride you all the way back home.

Eventually, you ended up telling him the truth — that the unrequited love that caused everything was because of how you’d fallen for him. You figured he deserved it, especially when he’d stuck with you the whole time without any hesitation and helped you whenever he could — he was truly one of the nicest, kindest people you’d ever met.

Of course, you were surprised when Jeongin only smiled and told you that he knew what you were talking about, and then proceeded to narrate how he’d overheard you in the hospital. Giggles left his lips when you gave him that meme-worthy look, making him shake his head before slinging and arm over his shoulder.

Surprisingly, that night ended just like the books — lovey-dovey confessions exchanged in the warm and intimate setting of the night sky, over shy smiles and lingering kisses. The both of you finally gave in to each other.

Huh, so maybe you were wrong about them — books — after all.

So when, your love was returned in the end, every flower in your chest had finally disappeared, and you couldn’t have been happier.

“You know when I brought you here I wanted you to help me pick flowers and not read a book?”

You laugh at the voice that comes from behind, closing the book shut before placing it on the side while Jeongin takes a seat beside you, hissing at the slight coldness of the grass. Ah, what a romantic scenario — green and colorful flowers as far as the eye could see, a book that you’ve been trying to finish but have never been able to because your boyfriend keeps interrupting you with his random outbursts of affection, and said person sitting right next to you.

“Well, you keep interrupting me all the time!” You chuckle, sliding a hand behind his shoulder before pulling him down to lie on your lap, and Jeongin complies. A sigh of content leaves his lips when he feels your fingers comb through his hair to rid them of any tangles — Jeongin feels stupid to not realise how much he loves you. It feels nice to call you his, feels nice to be able to say I love you, in all of it’s true meaning.

“What, I can’t cuddle my girlfriend now? Come on,” He takes your other hand in his, turning onto his back to look up at you before pressing his lips to the back of your hand. You feel the heat creep up your cheeks when he calls you his girlfriend, still not being able to take it in without growing immensely shy.

“You crybaby, fine. I’ll read the book later only because I love you and you give exceptionally nice cuddles.”

“Hmm, good.” He mumbles sleepily, eyes fluttering shut in calmness when he feels your fingers brush away any stray locks of hair that may get into his eyes. The reaction to your touch is so immediate these days, Jeongin thinks it’s a part of his routine now. Spend at least an hour admiring you in all of your happy, healthy glory.

Meanwhile, you’re sitting there, admiring his features in silence. His hair has grown longer now — Jeongin refuses to cut it no matter your endless verbalizations of how his original haircut looked better — and a small part of you has grown fond of this look too. His warm skin, and his sparkly eyes when he looks up at you, the bright, loving smile that he displays before getting out of your lap, kissing you on your lips to break you out of your focus.

The action only makes you more shy, and Jeongin laughs, cooing at your behavior before standing up, dusting his clothes off the dirt and extending his hand for you.

“Lend me a hand, will you?”

The line seems vaguely familiar and you’re overcome with a sense of deja vu, but nonetheless, you give him your hand, standing up before picking up your satchel and handing him his own.

“Now are you gonna pick a rose for me or do I have to do it myself again?” Jeongin raises an eyebrow and smirks, and you frown, slapping his arm before walking off to check all the flowers in their bushes.

“Hey, wait for me! Y/N!”

When he reaches you, he slides a hand into your own, interlacing the fingers before looking at you lovingly.

“I love you.” You both say at the same time, giggling at each other soon after — perhaps at how well you knew each other to time the confession so well.

So, this is how it ends. While you do think that things could’ve been handled differently, you’re glad that everything went the way it went, because in the end, you’d found him, he’d found you, you’d discovered your feelings together. You loved each other.

Because love and a red rose could never be truly hid.

but what if she had never recovered?

taglist: @inkidz​ @stayverse​ @districtninewriters​ @kpopscape​ @skzwritersclub​ + @sunoo-luvs​ @sleepylixie​ @rae-blogging​ @happiestgirlontheeastcoast @guerillrah​ @p2q3r4​ @baby-innie​ (Please send me an ask if you’d like to be added to my taglist!) *oh holy lord pls let this show up in the tags*

[thetrashywritingwitch]

💮💮Heyyy, I have a really annoying pet peeve in romance fanfiction and wanted to know your opinion.

So I really hate it when the author goes like "x characher was in love with y character" despite them not even being friends?!?

And then they continue on to say that how x character was jealous and insecure about z character (who is presumably a hot person).

Although I don't see it as impossible, I dislike it when the pacing is too fast like, how can you be in love with someone who your not even friends with. You don't even know the person on a surface level basis, like how???

And from my understanding of love, it stems from feelings of trust, deep understanding and such, it seems like the author is describing a crush but framing it as love just cause they were too lazy to go in depth about how they were strangers to friend to pining idiots to lovers u know?

And I'm not saying all fics should go into every little detail about x and ys relationship, but at least make them friend (so the reader does the imagining) or just take the easy route and go x just had a crush. Idk am I just too sensitive abt these thing?

Alo remember to drink water and eat, our favourite author needs to stay healthy

_ stay safe, flower anon💮💮

YOOOO WE ARE ON THE SAME BIG BRAIN WAVELENGTH WHEN IT COMES TO PET PEEVES

i think this, in part, stems from romanticizing... romance, if that makes sense. as in, being enamored with the tropes of love/romance/falling in love/heavily cliched "love at first sight" premises, etc. when most of what we see in popular media just... isn't realistic or even relatable to the average person who has been in love

you can have a CRUSH on someone if you don't know them well. you can have immediate sexual or physical attraction to a complete stranger (i mean, that's what porn is, right?), you might even feel jealousy over this person being around others (this one is a toxic trait linked heavily with insecurity and immaturity, in general), etc.

but no, i don't believe in any kind of "love at first sight" mantra that many fics and headcanons unfortunately fall into because it's bullshit and not real lol. it's one thing i guess to... write about 😍😍😍 this fairytale-esque idea of just KNOWING you're in love with this person you barely know. maybe the "mysterious stranger" appeal is in there somewhere, or the "they're so cool/unapproachable/popular that i'd never have a chance, so i'll just fantasize an imaginary version of them in my head that seems like my perfect match in every way and then project that onto the REAL character/person who might not really act like that at all, destroying the fantasy"

y'know, like that!

the horrible pacing is also annoying. i mean... there's a reason my fic is fucking 500k words at this point and uhhh for 3/4 of that, "love" was not in the mix. this is kiiiiinda why scenarios where they start off as just barely knowing each other or friends-of-friends or polite coworkers or something tosses me for a loop when all of a sudden things go from 3 to 99 really fucking quickly with like, zero buildup or anticipation.

but its also people writing what they want for free on the internet that's, in most cases, completely self indulgent and less for us as content consumers and more as "i wanna write this thing" where real scenarios have little say (i have a *thing* against yandere/abuse/really imbalanced power dynamics/age gaps being romanticized and easily publicly accessible because it can and does give the wrong impression about certain situations that put irl people in danger. there's def those ppl out there who will see a stalking/obsession/controlling dynamic in a fic and think it would be awesome to have someone obsessed with them, some kind of dream come true... and like yes! those types of kinks do exist! and can happen SAFELY with CONSENTING ADULTS who are into that! but not everyone (esp minors, no offense, sorry) who stumble on this kind of thing might be able to distinguish between consenting kink and romanticizing abuse)

.... that got OFF TOPIC but its still important lkajsl;kfjaf ANYWAY-

yeah. basically, i agree and it's annoying lol but it's best to just don't read/block if you run into it and move onto things you DO enjoy reading

i did drink a lot of wooder today and i made a yummy creamy tuscan chicken recipe for dinner 😤

thanks flower anon 💮

[rrxnjun]

lol yeah most ppl who started off as an army but again most of them didn't stay an army bc their music just flipped (?) like what happened to them dissing capitalism and the 'ideal society' :( dkfhg my army phase was weird but memorable bc i had a lot of fun w my friends. bts was my first k-pop group and tbt that was the time i understood how k-pop fandoms aren't the same as a regular fandom and that k-poppies are a whole new breed.

NOO I DON'T GET STICKER like the vocals are beautiful i'll admit but i can't stand that flute music. it's wacky and experimental but definitely not for me dfhfdhkj even my friend just got randomly obsessed w sticker a while back so i think it's a really catchy, possessing the people by causing a brainrot sort of a tune🥴

#bar and renjun are one and the same in a parallel universe theory lessgo jhhjg btw kai from exo has the same mbti as you (infj) as for nct idrk (damn their pyramid employment scheme) i only remember yangyang's bc intj and hyuck's (enfp) bc a.he's an extrovert in a sea of introverts lol and b.two of my other friends are enfps too.

HELP NOT DOGFOOD okay haven't really been curious ab eating any animal food bc i remember watching this one part in a movie where this guy accidently eats a small portion of dog food and gets sick. really sick. that scene scarred 6 y/o me. period.

YESS KYUNGSOO IS MY BIAS THE LOML <33 i became an exo-l right after seeing love shot. that song's just 💃🏾💃🏾 the critic in me has been trying to a find a bad exo song for the past 2 years but hasn't succeeded idk if it's just me but all of their songs are way too good 🤧 FKJGHDF I LOVE BAEKHYUN'S VOICE and bambi >>> but my personal fave from his solos is love again from delight and DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH SUPERM I MISS THEM SM. the group's so special to me BC DKFJGHDF IT'S LIKE THE CRAZIEST CROSSOVER EVER OKAY LIKE EXO, NCT AND SHINEE TOGETHER ?? still can't believe i got to listen to mark lee rap after a taemin and baekhyun bridge. omg do you have a fave superm song?? also yes i'll help with the exo-l-ification <33 compiling the recs in a playlist as i type this

RAINBOW MY BELOVED >>> nct dream albums aka collection of my comfort songs and that's why they're my fave unit. still lose it every time i listen to puzzle piece it's so sweet and the lyrics are so sappy but i love it sm <3 wow soulmate au based on electric hearts 👀 hmmm i haven't really checked the lyrics for that one brb after seeing them

haha i'm an sm stan through and through. started stanning one (1) group and ended falling far almost all of them lmaoo the company sucks but the artists 😭😭 gods i love them. i haven't really seriously looked into aespa tho it's a work in progress lol. as for skz samee i don't really vibe with them anymore and legit know ab the group's activities bc of tumblr </3

YES I'M INTO STEM. it's crazy the math has more letters than numbers and the physics and chemistry has more ridiculous looking math than my math textbook but there are like super tiny moments wherein i realize why i actually like doing what i'm doing. we all need smth to keep going right :') anyway im concentrating on graduating from high school in one piece rn bc it sucks !! bigtime !! and omg psychology sounds so cool :0 i haven't learnt anything bio related for the past 1 year and i kinda sorta miss it

i'm only actively keeping up w 5sos (and slowly getting into parx <3) rn but i do go back to my emo phase every once in a while bc idt i ever left it 💀

p.s. just remembered that india has banned tiktok so i can't really see the video 😭😭

literally!!! i must say that i enjoyed dynamite, but everything that came out after was just meh for me 😭😭 and it was a bit of a jump for me too, but ive been in fandoms since i was 12 so its like 7 years now,,, so joining the kpop world was just one step further from all the stuff in the 5sos fandom.

STICKER BRAINROT idk whats the sudden obsession brooo😭😭 multiple people experienced it tho, ive seen ppl on tiktok as well, so i think its a worldwide phenomenon. the fLUTE IS SO CATCHY i wanna learn it i have a recorder at home and i think that will do the job.

#bar and renjun soulmates agenda. 😭 kai is an infj?? brooo thats so cool!! i really enjoy his first solo album i gotta listen to the second one soon sjssj. idk whats w me and exo solo music but i think i lowkey know more than their group music its so embarrassing😭😭 chanyeol's tomorrow was my top played song on spotify last year its so special to me :') also hyuck's such an enfp i couldnt imagine it any other way for him. for the dog food, i was just curious abt the taste ??? didnt really taste like much tho, but i do admit it looks tasty 10/10 would try again

loveshot *lip bite* i fucking love that song. the choreo >>>> i remember showing my brother the mv and he was amazed with how good looking they all were 😭😭 and their music truly is too good broo!!! i love power. serotonin boost song. i will never skip that song when it comes on shuffle. also baekhyun's voice truly is something else. the moment i listened to un village for the first time, something inside of me changed. my personal favorite is cry for love btw!!

SUPERM >>> i miss them so much omg 😭😭 mark as the maknae is the cutest concept. the videos where they quiz each other abt themselves live in my mind rent free. my favorite songs are no manners, together at home, better days, wish you were here and tiger inside 💪😩 wbu?

SEND THE EXO PLAYLIST ASAP ‼‼ THIS IS A SERIOUS REQUEST.

dream is my comfort fr 🤧🤧 i always get so upset when i listen to dear dream. i dont think i'll ever listen to it without being in pain jssjjs. PUZZLE PEACE SUPREMECY!! its so sweet i love the guitar <33

I legit admire people who are into STEM and who are good at these omg my brain cant comprehend science 😭😭 i only went to business school to escape the STEM subjects. im rooting for you!! i graduated in may and trust me it was difficult i didnt sleep for two weeks before my final exams but it was worth it in the end!! i felt very accomplished hhh so hang in there!:)

my emo phase comes and goes in waves i honestly. love it. its always so random as well😭

awwh yeah i heard you dont have tiktok there :((( im sorry. id send it to you as a video but idk where 😭

[k-writesthings]

Early Mornings

I wrote this because I’m in the mood for some happy Levi Content, especially after Chapter 133, where my man is just BROKEN.

(Also this is x Reader because I want to try my hand at writing these, please let me know what you think!) 

(And it’s first person because I’m not comfortable writing second person yet)

Word Count: 1655

Warnings: Cussing, Intimate Touching (SFW)

      The soldiers of the Survey Corps had either seen too much or not enough. There was no in-between, because just one Titan attack would change the cockiest bastard into a war-weary soldier. That’s what happened to me, and that’s what happened to every other scout, too. With that sudden shift came night terrors, hallucinations, and shell shock. You’d be lucky to wake up and not be in a cold sweat after seeing, smelling, and hearing what I and so many others have. It plagued you, haunting your dreams, your thoughts, your life. And often, you couldn’t escape.

    But sometimes, when you were safe…

   You could forget. 

    Lazy mornings would help me forget. The memories that weighed on my conscience would slip away, melting into the seams of what I understood as I snuggled under the covers. The warm morning light cascading over my face would remind me of where I was and nothing else. A warm body next to me would let me know that I am loved. And I was alive, carefree even, for however long we were nestled beneath those blankets.

   This was one of those mornings. A particularly nasty dream roused me, yanking me from my sleep like a fish caught on a line. It was shocking and sent my senses into overdrive, making me gasp for air as my eyes shot open. And then I realized. I wasn’t in danger, not at that moment. And I wouldn’t be, not for a while.

   My fear subsided quickly, dissolving into a low hum of adrenaline that was guaranteed to keep me awake. The air was chilly and there was a slight draft in the room, probably from small gaps in the old walls. I yanked the covers up and over my shoulders and shifted to my side to keep out the cool air. I was faced by the man sleeping beside me, causing me to lose interest in my slightly cold shoulders. His sleeping face was a look of pure peace, something I would never see grace his features otherwise. Always worried about something or another, always stern and expressionless; that was the way Levi went about his everyday life. And while I knew he wasn’t actually an uncaring bastard, mornings like these proved his humanity, and made me love him even more.

   I rarely woke up before Levi. He was an insomniac and usually only stayed asleep for about three hours. It was a blessing whenever he slept until after sunrise. He was also a lot more tolerant of everyone and everything when he slept for a healthy amount of time. That meant less stress for him and more sleep the next night. That cycle might continue for a couple days or maybe even a week, and I’d love to just see him well-rested and calm. But mostly, my favorite thing was waking him up when he slept in.

   Today, Erwin had planned a meeting with Premiere Zackly about funding for the Regiment, and then Hange scheduled a training session for our three respective squads. As much as I didn’t want to wake Levi, I knew I had to. I glanced outside to get a feel for the general time. The sun was already ascending into the sky and the rays danced across his skin in time with a wind-blown tree that stood outside our window. A small smile played on my lips as I brushed some stray locks of hair away from his eyes, which were still closed. My fingers wandered to the back of his head as I scratched the short hair of his undercut. He let out a soft, unconscious groan at the touch.

   Surprisingly, Levi craved physical affection, just not in public. But, when we were alone and in bed, he was usually touching me in some way. Whether it was just resting his foot against my leg, or cradling me close to his chest, there was almost always contact. While I wasn’t complaining, I quickly realized this was because of a lack of affection in his childhood. Much like with his obsessive cleaning stemming from growing up in dirt and squalor, he needed affection to make up for what he didn’t have in the Underground. And I was always happy to provide it.

   I peeled back the comforter a bit to expose Levi’s shoulders and back, marred by bruises and areas rubbed raw from his frequent use of the ODM Gear. I leaned over and pressed kisses along the strap indents. We both loved when the other would pay specific attention to these areas, and it was how Levi usually woke me up. I was just returning the favor. As I continued my affectionate assault on his purple and red skin, his breathing began to quicken, and I could tell he was waking up. 

   “Hey, baby.” I whispered into his ear and pressed a kiss to his temple. He groaned again and I felt his hand come up to stroke the small of my back. “I can’t believe you slept so long. I almost didn’t wake you, but Erwin planned that meeting at noon.” 

   Levi’s eyes opened slowly and met mine, his icy grey irises cutting me to my very core. He closed them again and tugged my body closer to him, nestling his head into the crook of my neck.

  “Damn Titan-sized bastard…” He spoke lowly, his voice sending vibrations through my chest. I giggled at the sensation and brought a hand up to rub the back of his head again. Levi sighed in contentment before he pulled away and looked me in the eye. “Did you sleep well?”

   “As well as I ever do, I guess. I can’t stop seeing last month’s expedition in my dreams, but that always seems to happen.” My voice shook as my thoughts suddenly ventured to that shit-show. It was the highest amount of casualties we’d had that year. There was a sudden fog bank, which separated my squad from the rest of the Regiment. We-

   “(Y/N).” Levi’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. His hand was resting on my cheek as I met his eyes again. He still looked stern, but there was a specific sense of concern lacing his features. “Don’t think about that right now. There was nothing you could do.”

   I let out a quick, huffing chuckle as I leaned my forehead against his. “I’ll never understand how you do that.”

   “Do what?”

   “Read my thoughts.”

   The tiniest smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth. “It’s cute that you think it’s hard. You have an expressive face.” 

   I rolled my eyes at Levi’s teasing and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. They were usually chapped and rough, but I had been making him put on a salve before he went to bed to save his perfectly kissable lips. They were nice and soft against mine, now, as he deepened the kiss. Without breaking our connection, I flipped Levi onto his back and straddled his waist, cupping his face in my hands as my tongue broke through his slightly parted lips. He moaned softly and grasped my waist. I felt his lips quirk up in a smirk against mine and savored the moment with him, knowing I wouldn’t get to touch him like this for almost twelve hours.

   I reluctantly pulled away from our make-out session and listened to Levi’s heavy breathing. My eyes slowly opened, though I didn’t realize I had closed them in the first place. Levi’s eyes were still closed and there was a deep blush on his usually pale cheeks. I smiled, knowing I was the only one who could do that to him. I rolled off of him and laid against his side, resting my ear against his chest to listen to his thumping heartbeat.

   “Levi?” I raised my head to look him in the eye. He was still blushing.

   “Mmm?” 

   “You’re blushing. I made you blush, Captain.” I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.

   His blush deepened (if that was even possible) and he averted his eyes from my face. “Tch, shut up. I could make you blush.”

   I raised my eyebrows in faux surprise. “Could you now? I don’t blush at much, you know.” Of course he could make me blush, but I was just having fun messing with him.

   In a flash, he was straddling me and leaning down to trail his tongue along my collarbone. The sensation sent sparks to my stomach. But, instead of my face heating up, I just felt the need to laugh. 

   “Levi! You’re just tickling me!” I cackled as he continued his assault. He grunted against my skin and he suddenly switched to sucking and biting at different parts of my neck. And that did make me blush, but also sent waves of panic through me. Before he could do too much damage, I shoved him off of me and leapt off the bed, running to the bathroom.

   “(Y/N)?” I heard Levi call from the bedroom as he followed after me. “Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” 

   I stood in front of the mirror and stared at my neck. It already was becoming mottled with purple bruises. Groaning, I dropped my head against the glass. Levi put a hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him.

   “You got fucking marks on my neck, you bastard.” I leaned into him and buried my face in the crook of his neck. “I can’t hide this shit, you know that! And we have to see so many people today. You’re the worst.” I mumbled into his skin.

   His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me close. I expected an apology to grace those dastardly lips and I awaited it eagerly. 

   “I still made you blush.”

   “Oh, you fucker.” 

    I wasn’t the only one with a marks on my neck after that comment.

(Alright, that made me feel better. Idk about anyone else, but I’ve always kind of headcanonned Levi as super submissive in bed because he craves contact. This was based off some rumor that Yams had said it in an interview, and I honestly think it’s really perfect for Levi. But that’s just me!)

(This was honestly just to indulge myself, but pleas don’t worry! I have not forgotten about my requests. They are on their way!) 

(Also, please request more Levihan I love them) 

[bigskydreaming]

thatninja replied to your post:

I know I’m usually that guy who’s always...

Gambit is 100% riding on his charm and looks. Plus Rogue could punch a hole through just about anyone that could argue that, which is prolly some kinda factor.

someothermonstra replied to your post:

I know I’m usually that guy who’s always...

isn’t… isn’t that canon?

LOL it actually varies pretty wildly depending on who’s writing him. I mean, good luck finding consistent characterization with any popular comic book character that’s at least three decades old, but all kidding aside, I do love the guy and Gambit in particular is a frequent target of character assassination. There’s even a trope named after him, though I forget its specific name at the moment. 

But its basically the idea that certain male characters who end up more popular with women than male comic book writers expect, or understand - like as in they don’t understand what about them appeals to female readers so much, or misunderstand the basis of that appeal - there’s this weird trend where some of them basically take it out on the character and kinda...do their best to sabotage them? Idk, its like, it frustrates certain dudes who have rigid expectations of what women want in a ‘ladies man’ type character, that when faced with characters who get that reception not because of how these writers WOULD write them, but for reasons they just...can’t put a finger on.....they basically get butthurt about it and are like ‘well what’s so great about this guy anyway.’ 

I mean for sure, being jealous of a comic book character - let alone one you yourself are getting paid to write - is pretty pathetic, buuuuuuut lbr, that describes a lot of dudes in that industry and I mean....there’s a pretty obvious and proven track record of characters like Gambit and Nightwing and the other well known ‘lotharios’ of the Marvel and DC universe regularly getting tanked in various runs and written as vapid airheads or thuggish jerks (not to mention cheaters), in ways that really don’t make any kind of sense from even a basic storytelling perspective and really seem to only exist to make them look bad. 

One writer that always stood out in this regard for me with Dick Grayson was Chuck Dixon, who wrote his Nightwing solo comic for a long time in the 90s, as well as adjacent titles. And to be clear, it was always pretty obvious that Dixon WANTED Dick to be received by readers as a ladies’ man.....but for reasons and ways that Dixon wanted. Like Dixon was a pretty right wing, conservative d-bag at the best of times, (and also the one who made Dick a cop, which tells you all you need to know about what I think about him, lmao)....and so its not hard to guess what he THOUGHT an ultimate man’s man, macho but suave lady-killer James Bond kinda guy SHOULD look and act like, and how female readers were meant to like...swoon at his take on him.

Except....that’s not remotely Dick’s appeal, and why he’s so popular with female fans. If anything, that’s pretty much the exact OPPOSITE of the times he’s most popular with women, and like....you can kinda see throughout the course of Dixon’s Nightwing runs where that just baffles and frustrates the hell out of him....and with him then all of a sudden throwing curveballs into his OWN long-term character work and storylines, just to be kinda like ‘well what do you think of him NOW, huh?’ In particular, I’m thinking of this one infamous stand-alone issue, I think it was an annual or whatever, and it was a flashback issue that was written late in the 90s but meant to take place right before Dick was supposed to get married to Kory back in his Titans days. And it involved Dick going to see Barbara one last time before his wedding, and talking about their romantic history together and hand delivering to her the invitation to his wedding with another woman....and then she’s like wtf....and that somehow led to them sleeping together.....and then him waking up the next morning in bed with Babs and being like, well that was great, I’m off to go marry Kory now!

Seriously. That actually happened. That issue was thankfully considered non-canon by most readers and other writers and never referenced again (outside of occasional references to Dick being a cheater, but as I’ve talked about before, that BS existed long before that story and stems from the crap with Mirage).

But like....it made ZERO sense. In story, in context of the characters, in terms of how Dixon HIMSELF usually wrote both Dick AND Babs, which he’d done a LOT of....like he also wrote Birds of Prey for a long time? With Babs front and center in that? And forget about Dick even for a second, in what universe would SHE sleep with someone who was about to go marry another woman?

Like, it came absolutely out of NOWHERE, and made zero sense whatsoever, and tbh, Dixon didn’t even really try and justify it within the actual narrative, it was kinda a wham bam, well here you go, this happened, DEAL WITH IT. That story’s only purpose really was to make everybody in it look bad, b/c Dixon’s the kind of dudebro to throw a temper tantrum within his own work b/c his female readers don’t like Dick for the reasons HE thinks they should like Ultimate Ladykiller Fantasy Man Dick Grayson, but for reasons that don’t make sense to him and he CAN’T replicate because of that.

Its the same trope with Gambit. And it actually kinda originated with him, even though Dick is a vastly older character, because don’t forget, a good fifty years of Dick’s history was as a preteen and a teenager. He was only growing into that persona of the character with mass romantic/sexual appeal at the time that Gambit was created.....and right from the bat, Gambit’s creation and reception kinda threw writers for a loop.

B/c Gambit, as Claremont initially conceived him, was not SUPPOSED to be sexy. Like, he had really longterm, complicated and convoluted plans for Gambit originally, and how he was connected to Mr. Sinister and other characters, but like....in Claremont’s own words in past interviews, he’s basically said that like....Gambit was supposed to be more obnoxious than charming. Like, he kinda meant for him to be taken as this greasy, weaselly kinda sleazebag who was only ‘charming’ because of something to do with his mutant power, that much referenced but little canonized ‘charm’ ability he’s always been rumored to have in addition to his kinetic energy powers.

Except....between how artists throughout Gambit’s early years actually portrayed him, and the ways Claremont and other early writers wrote him and the things they had him saying all being taken entirely differently than they intended....Gambit was pretty much an instant hit, with female readers in particular....and just like Nightwing in later years to follow, this frustrated the SHIT out of certain writers, because they just DID NOT GET IT.

And so with Gambit, just like with Dick, half the time you have writers who are total fans and just want to show off those characters (and other characters that fit this particular niche archetype) to the best of their abilities, highlight just how competent and skilled and intelligent they are....with fans of course usually being very receptive to this and upholding these particular runs as iconic and fave portrayals, enjoying the characters here for the reasons they’re ‘naturally’ appealing to a lot of fans, etc. 

Which of course, in turn, just kinda frustrates and annoys that Certain Dudebro Writer Type all over again. And thus the next time one of THEM gets their hands on these characters, there’s all these little digs built into the stories and the characters making mistakes that ‘reveal’ them as the kinda insensitive assholes they are, the jerks who don’t deserve the kind of acclaim they get, just like....Those Popular Jocks That Don’t Know How To Treat Women Right, Not like A REAL Nice Guy Like Me Would, and are really just kinda dumb airheads anyway and why do people even like them, ugh.

Anyway. So yeah. That’s definitely a thing that’s stood out for a lot of fans and readers over the years and been noted and talked about pretty extensively, with again, there even being a trope named after Gambit because of it. This weird, self-defeating obsession some guys have with making sure that like ‘Well if women aren’t going to like these Male Power Fantasy Characters for the reasons WE think they should like them, then we’re gonna make sure they just don’t like them at all.’

[blcksirxs-blog]

matthew daddario; 22; he/him —— is that really sirius black? it’s been so long! did you hear he is studying to be an auror? from what i remember, he was energetic and infectious, but also pretty impatient and arrogant, who knows after all this time. word on the street is, they’re with the order in the war, but that doesn’t define them.

character inspiration: han solo (star wars), sawyer (lost), jake peralta (b99), nathan young (misfits), mike wheeler (stranger things)

pinterest here

sirius is a sassmaster and the worst™

maybe a little bit self destructive. much more concerned about getting the things that he wants instead of what he actually needs. his moral compass is pretty stalwart and he struggles with a lot of guilt for even the things beyond his control.

but he’s just too good at being  contrary.  if you need sirius for something, the best thing to do is to not ask him to do it. subverting expectations is his hobby. but that also means he can surprise people by a sudden change of heart or an unexpectedly sweet gesture. usually after a moment of reflection, his knee jerk reaction can be selfish. he’s still first and foremost a good person, even at his most irritating.

living meme. actually the most dramatic piece of shit. LITERALLY??? he wants and loves attention he’s great at monopolizing a room and putting himself in the center of things. still pretty immature but he’s getting there? he’s a good time so he puts most people at ease, but there are people that he could annoy with his devil-may-care attitude. he just ain’t serious man. can’t do it. yet another thing is parents got wrong

before he got to school, sirius was very lonely in his parent’s house. he was the first son but nothing else he was supposed to be. silver-tongued and crass, he couldn’t have fit in even if he tried. he did try in the beginning, tried to adopt a steely cruelty like his father and self-righteous sting of his mother. he succeeded somewhat, if it weren’t for the guilt. the parts of himself he hates the most now are the parts he can see are most undeniably like his old family. as dreadfully as they treated him and his younger brother, sirius no longer has interest in changing himself for other people. he’d rather been hard to swallow then back where he was. he was strong enough to come out with his confidence mostly in tact, and only a mild, almost unavoidable dislike of himself. his morality comes from a place of wanting fix what he feels they and others like them have done. 

but real talk he is a broKen sad boi?? his family was sucking the life out of him and he jUST RESISTED TAHT SHIT??? proud tbh

he doesn’t allow himself to think about regulus. his soft brother, whose resentment had grown to include him after his founding of a new family in the marauders. the question of whether he actually had done enough to help his brother has mixed in with his usual guilt. he prefers not to think or talk about it. far more healthy.

he gave up too quickly on his lil bro and while i don’t think he’d want to spend time dwelling on it or thinking he should fix his mistake he just??? hakuna matata that shit man. put that past behind ya. too bad hE HAS TO SEE HIM EVERY DAY FUCKING IDIOPT KLJSDFJK

his family is a sore topic.

boi smart. well-- common sense smart? his grades were never great but they weren’t bad either. his performance stemmed more from a lack of effort and the wonderful feeling of spite towards his ever disappointed parents.

 hell if he’s not ruled by the big ol’ heart he pretends not to have. he’s pretty emotional and passionate and surprisingly empathetic. he gets charged up about the blood purity thing since he’s seen so much of the worst that that side has to offer

he attac but he also protec. sirius is prone to loud arguments and the occasional scuffle. keeping his mouth shut has never been an option

p impulsive. will lash out when he’s mad/frustrated. childish af. lit ran away from home w zERO PLAN it just happened and yet he doesn’t regret his choices and is proud of where he’s at

channeling that sweet dog energy dude because he has a v natural presence that is hard to resist.

speaking offffff  he is a rebel bOI. leather jackets and death stick cigarettes and all the muggle rock and roll. rockstar lifestyle without the talent dAMN. someone help this loser.

he’s obsessed with his motorcycle. it was the first thing with uncle alphard’s inheritance. he spends half the time fixing up the clunky machine, he’s on the verge of getting it to fly and sprucing the piece of junk up. he enjoys it so much, he ought to have done something with the hobby, but he followed his friends to university to become an auror. the war hangs over his head, he has inexplicable and unreasonable survivor’s guilt and feels the need to against everything

fun time guy.. down to clown. all that jazz

actually loves his brothers. he sees that remus and james and peter are his true family. he would die for them. meeting them changed everything for him and??? wow im actually crying. 

you’d think he would be better at telling them how much they mean to him

ya boi is arrogant as fuck. he’s woke but damn those black genes sure have some ego. he gets some pleasure out of hearing how great he is. hATE HIM PLS. i know. it’s hard.

IDK MAN. IT’S SIRIUS??? LOVE THAT LITTLE DOG BOY lmk if you have anything you’d like to plot!