#but idk i just messaged him earlier and i didnt even expect him to reply at all

[bunnihearted]

🌸

[queerlyglittering]

I'm a little mad at Letter Boy rn. He kinda ghosted me for the last several days, not really sure why other than "he's been busy" even though he had finals week before last and has been out of school all this week. I finally reached out to check up on him and he kinda blew me off; I mentioned sort of in passing that my depression has been getting bad lately and that I missed him, and he just kinda offered me head pats in this trying time and then went back to ignoring me. In his defense, he was working and kinda busy when I messaged him earlier, but he had time enough to actually reply for the first time in 2 days... we've been kinda-sorta dating/together for like 2ish months now, and he has already mentioned that he's "in this for the long haul," so idk I guess I kinda expected more support from him. Idk. Am I being needy? Do I expect too much? I truly don't know. I've been on the receiving end of that kind of behavior before and I absolutely don't want to be that person. But I don't really feel like I'm in the wrong here?? But if I was, would I even be able to tell? Pls help

Like obviously we need to communicate better but he's always either busy or sleeping whenever I'm awake and not working, we've just been really out of sync lately and im worried. I don't wanna come at him like "im mad abt what you said earlier" bc like... it kinda sounded like he was trying his best to be supportive but just didnt know what to say? Hopefully we're just going through a rough patch but like I'm not handling it well 🙃

[btsjfans]

Our Song (pt 6)

Summary: School playboy, and jock Jungkook is the last person you’d expect to be a soulful musician, but everybody has their secrets

Jungkook x Reader (fluff, angst, smut next chapter)

a/n: ahhh thank you for all the requests, getting requests and feedback about my stories literally makes my life I love you all so freaking much ALSO SORRY IT TAKES ME LIKE 50 YEARS TO POST OMFG

masterlist

part 1   2   3   4   5 

“Y/n L/n IT IS 2:17AM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA--” Your mother screams, pacing in the kitchen, while your dad scowls beside her. You sit at the dinner table, numbly listening to their tirade. You’re still half asleep, and tired from earlier. 

You’d fallen asleep at Jungkook’s earlier that night, and woken up when he’d rolled over in his sleep, and flopped on top of you. In the moment it was funny, until you read the clock that glowed “2:10am” in ominous white lettering. 

“JUNGKOOK I-AGDHGDJ” You’d screamed, pushing him off and springing from the bed. He sat up, hair sticking up in all directions as you hopped around his room, desperately tugging your jeans on. 

“What?” His voice was deep and grumbly as he rubbed his eyes and tried to process the situation. His eyes finally settled on the clock, and he gasped and dashed out the door, “MEET ME IN THE CAR!!!” He screamed, scrambling for the keys. 

The two of you hit 70 in a 25, managing to get you home by 2:15, saving about 8 minutes on your usual drive time. You kissed him one more time before getting out of the car, trying to savor one last good moment before you met your bitter end. “I love you forever Y/n,” He smiles, stress evident in his tense body. 

“I love you forever too Jungkook.” You sighed, facing the house, having accepted your impending doom. The second the door had closed behind you, the lights came on and the screaming began.

By 2:45 your parents decided they had enough and sent you swiftly to bed, but not before taking your phone and sentencing you to 2 weeks of being grounded. 

You lied in bed, emotionally drained as you stared at the ceiling. But even then, you couldn’t help but smile. You really did love him. 

From: My Mans :)

Saturday, 2:30am

Y/n??

Y/n is everything okay???

Im so sorry 

I really am I didnt mean for time to get away from us like that

Ughhhhhh Y/n please dont be mad

Please dont be mad

Ok uhhhh text me tomorrow ig. I love you

Sunday, 10:11am

Y/n really Im getting worried

Pls tell me this is a prank? AHAHAh im laughing

2:45pm

I showed you my dick pls reply

Y/N 

4:41pm

goddddd

Y/n i really love youuuuu

Knock knock

Whos there?

NOT YOU APPARENTLY SJHDGSJFAHKSAHJ

6:18pm

ok so

I guess youre mad?

Annnnd idk what I did so I cant say sorry

BUT if you tell me what I did wrong I can apologize

sooooo

uGAUKHSFGHJ Y/N

See 216 More Messages?

You grin scrolling through your messages. It was 7:45am on a monday, and you’d just gotten your phone back. You’d spent the weekend without electronics, and with plenty of housework. You still had two weeks of house arrest, but you would get to see your friends at school, and keep your phone, so things were already looking up. Your parents didn’t know you lost your v-card, so they didn’t really have anything against Jungkook except for him keeping you out too late. 

To: My Mans :)

7:48- Come get meeeeee :P

Within 2 minutes of sending that text Jungkook replies, making you laugh.

From: My Mans :)

7:56- Oh my god are you kidding me I text you all day every day all weekend and this is all I get back? No heartfelt message? Am I just a rockin bod and a cool car to you? Damn, you thotties really be cold

7:57- Omw

“What the fuuuuck,” Jungkook whines pulling you in by the hips and kissing you, pressing you against him. 

“Sorry, my parents took my phone.” You grin, ruffling his hair and getting in the car. 

“God I thought I was bad in bed or something, you really did a number on my insecurity this weekend,” He grins, taking the car out of park. 

Walking through school felt different now. You felt dirty and exposed. You felt like everybody knew what you did that weekend. Walking down the halls hand in hand with Jungkook, you usually got some stares, but now it felt like all eyes were on you. Jungkook seemed fine, unbothered even. As he should of course, and as you should too. You just couldn’t shake that unsettled feeling though. 

Eventually that feeling left, and a feeling of pride took its place. You were his girl, the person he decided was worthy enough to be his first. Telling your friends really gassed you up. 

“Y/N YOU WHAT?!” Lisa was screaming. You guys were between classes and you couldn’t really think of a good time to tell them, so you figured now was as good as any. “You got dicked down? Like all the way down?!” Lisa whispered, eyes wide.  “Yeah! Do you guys hate me?” You grin nervously.

“No! Just don’t ditch us for booty calls,” Jisoo grins and nudges you. The three of you laugh while you give them details as you walk to your next class. You’re caught up in the story before somebody runs into you, jolting you from your thoughts. You look back in annoyance to see who the perpetrator was. Mark Tuan just hurries off, ignoring you. “Hey, ignore him. You’re Jeon Jungkook’s squeeze now, we have more important things to think about.” Jisoo laughs, grabbing your arm and tugging you down the hallway.

Mark

Jungkook was still a part of our group I guess. Bam and Taehyung jumped on the chance to talk to him again after things had been tense the last few weeks. Jungkook texted them and asked if we could all hang after lacrosse, so of course that meant I had to wait after school til 5 for them. 

Roaming the empty halls I scroll through instagram, trying to occupy my headspace. I really had been enjoying my guy time recently, but I can’t lie, I do miss my time with Y/n. After school hot chocolate and homework had become a fixture in my life, like she had been. It felt like there was a big empty hole where she used to be, in my house and in my head. 

“Mr. Tuan,” Mr. Atkinson’s voice rips me from  my thoughts. 

“Yes sir?” I turn, pocketing my phone.

“Wanna take a walk?” Atkinson approaches, not really giving me a choice. We both walk in silence for a minute or so, our footsteps echoing down the halls. “Have you been alright recently? You and Y/n don’t talk anymore, and you’ve fallen in with a..lesser crowd.” His voice is light, but I can hear the more serious tone beneath.

“Yeah, people just..grow apart.” I shrug, shoving my hands in my pockets.

“Yeah but you and y/n didn’t. Or at least she didn’t. I know there’s more. Now, I don’t expect you wanting to talk to your washed up teacher about your personal life, but you should talk to her. Or someone.” He’s right. I sigh, nodding. 

“What do I say?” My voice is quiet, ashamed.

“It never hurts to start with sorry.” 

You lay on your bed, scrolling through your phone on a break from homework. Your break had already taken 2 hours, oops. Suddenly a picture of Mark doing a double chin fills up your home screen while your phone buzzes, signaling a call from your old friend. It had been a hot minute since you’d gotten a call from him; it had been a hot minute since you’d gotten any kind of formality from him in general. 

“Hello?” You slowly hit the green button.

“I’m sorry Y/n. Can we talk?”

[poppunkdee]

3-5, 28-30, 35-40

whoa okay everyone sorry for the long post someone decided to give me a million in one ask. 

3. okay so this person idk what to even say about them anymore I hardly know who or what they are like now but I guess ill talk about them when I was irrationally in love with them. They had a way to make me feel at home no matter how far from home I was. That person was super smart (to me) they had a charisma that allowed them to creep into your life and later your heart, and had you liking them even if at first you thought they were just another fake person trying super hard to be “cool” they had a way to get under your skin, to make you laugh until you’re crying and hold your attention in a way that you never really thought they might be able to. Honestly this person made me feel so many things and not all of them were good, in fact looking back now I realized that I excused so much shitty behavior towards me because of a fancy dinner, or a cute poem, or a dozen roses. God i was so in love with them and its sad really how now its just a faded memory of a person who never apologized for the hell they put me through. 

4. the thing I regret most so far is not going to the ivy league school I was accepted into bc it meant I would be far from the person mentioned above. 

5. Oh fuck. Honestly I have not had any like “amazing” birthdays. My most memorable birthdays are seared into my memory bc I was either in a funeral home, in a hospital watching my cousin fight cancer, or I myself was in the hospital bc a car almost killed me(yay 24th birthday!) really I have most fun when I celebrate my birthday alone at disneyland, which I do every year although not on my actual birthday bc it seems that on my actual birthday I’m always caught up in some kind of hospital, or receiving bad news. 

28. honestly idk if i have any like crazy out there fetishes, like dirty talk and rough sex is cool but like idk if i really have like one odd thing. I mean one of my exes and I got hella drunk one night and decided to do all the shit we had wanted to do and lemmi tell you that was a full weekend of endless orgasms and take out food. It was amazing. I had rope burn on my thighs and was sore for a week after and he had like a million hickies from his neck to his dick. 

29. okay turn ons so like these depend on the person im seeing, like for one person their voice as they whisper in my ear might end me while for another the way they bite their lip and run their fingers through their hair might have me thinking of how those fingers might feel on me. so really I don’t have like one singular set of turn ons they just vary depending on the person. 

30.OHHH TURN OFFS THO. so these will literally dry me up like the Sahara desert and make me grab my shit and leave kyle’s house. If I say "men are trash” and the guy replies with “well not all men.... “ yeah ya cancelled. okay this one is shallow I know but its there and i really cant get past it, bad dental hygiene. the white ppl who try to have dreadlocks but really they haven’t washed their hair. ANY NON BLACK PERSON SAYING THE N WORD. I can go on really bc I’m super picky with the people I sleep with and i have actually mid thrust have told a guy to stop, got dressed, left and blocked him. 

35. Things i wish I could stop doing, okay so like as yall know my anxiety gets the best of me sometimes and I wish I could stop the nail biting. Also I need to stop expecting my body to go back to how it was before my car accident, like my spine is forever hurt and i really have to learn to accept that there are somethings i just cant do anymore and its not my fault there are limitations on my body so i should stop expecting to be able to go back to the gym like i used to, or do all the adventurous activities i used to do, also I wish I could go back to driving like i used to without the PTSD fear running through me every time a big rig is next to me on the freeway. 

36, okay so as of rn my guilty pleasure is that I read the twilight books bc my roommates got me into it and like holy shit i went through the whole saga in less than a weekend and I now need to rewatch the movies. honestly thank god for this gay twilight renaissance I’m living. But really tumblr is full of my guilty pleasures so like just scroll through my blog bc its all there, half of this shit is not on any of my public social media,.... or wait actually i think it is, i don’t really hide who i am so like it definitely has affected the way people judge me before they really know me but i know the people that are my friends after seeing the shit i post kinda really like me.  

37. Damn okay so this is kinda, ugh, okay so im sure my best friend is tired of me running back to this person but like i like ppl who ruin me i guess. So this person and I started dating after i had gone through like a horrible breakup, AND I got the news that my uterus is like a war zone for new cells(make of that what you will). Anyways here I am five months into a depressive episode i cut off all the people that i had thought were friends but who turned out to abandon me when i needed them the most. so here enters this person with their puppy dog love and gives me wonderful dirty kinky sex along with the hugs, cuddles, after care and takes me to these cool experiences in the city I thought I knew. They support my dreams and help me work towards them, honestly it was a great three months, but this person told me they loved me one night while at a night club and i thought hey youre drunk pls don’t do this and honestly it was mostly cowardliness that drove me to end it bc i didn’t feel the same way and i felt like i didnt deserve this new pure love i was receiving.  Anyways we hooked up a bit after we broke up and then they started dating someone else and we just kinda saw other people but would come back to each other after our different flings ended, until they got into like a real relationship with some one else and like I was cool like they deserve it, could have used a heads up but like i keep my space like the respectful person that i am, although lately this person has told me they are not into the person they are with and has been hitting me up and like the part of me that thinks im in love with them is really pushing for me to go for it but also they ARE STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP AND ITS NOT OKAY THAT THEY ARE SENDING ME MESSAGES LIKE THIS!! so anyways i think im more in love with the feeling they brought me those few months we were together bc i was just so fucking depressed and they helped pull me out of the hole i was in. So not really in love with the person but with the feeling i guess. 

38. songs that remind me of people. oh god, yall can i just make a spotify playlist and link it later bc theres so many. I have a few songs for like everyone that I know that i can make playlists for individual people so like i’ll just link a playlist when get around to it pls remind me later. 

39. OHHHH BOYYY. things i wish i had known earlier. i wish i had known men are trash earlier in life so that i would have been somewhat prepared for the men that caused trauma in my life. I also wish i had known how little time i had with certain people. (people i regret not making more time with) Also wish I had known about the accident that had me in a hospital on my birthday bc a year later im still plagued by nightmares, PTSD, and anxiety on the road. I also wish I had known about my cousin’s accident. GOd if there’s one thing i’ve had to learn the hard way this past year is that we never know when it will be the last time we see our loved ones and that we have GOT to tell them we love them bc we NEVER know when it will be the last time.  

40.okay last one, the end of something in my life. I wanna talk about a good ending bc i feel like yall got some insight on bad shit so like good endings i’d say is when i left socal for norcal. I come back literally anytime im homesick but like it was a huge step for me to take to leave, I was given a full scholarship to the wilderness and an apartment thats a ten min walk to the beach. It was definitely hard leaving all my friends and family behind but it was also kind of refreshing to be able to go out on my own to make my own path and do something i love. im back in socal for the summer and although im so happy to be back in the warmth of LA im definitely looking forward to my small apartment that constantly smells like a mix of sea breeze and damp forest. 

[dearhummingbird]

3, 12, 14 xx

3. rant. just do it

ok this was a draft from when Bon Appetit was going down the drain and i was extremely annoyed and bothered by how the discussion about it was being held in this all-women Slack group i’m in. it really mostly comprises of extremely rich white mid-20year olds who only used to shop at Reformation and only use Glossier/Golde/Milk Makeup/Kosas products. a lot of it probably wont make sense unless you kept up to date with what went on with BA, but two things that i want to note is that 1) i don’t like the me who calls people crazy and goes ??????? when others share wildly different opinions from me, even when i think those opinions are flat out wrong. it’s language that im trying to change bc i also do it when im even mildly annoyed at people, which is bad. that’s one reason why i didnt initially post this here bc i was abit ashamed. idk if thats right or wrong but ya. 2) i didnt share this earlier bc while i still stand by what i said about Gaby being an immigrant status i was and am afraid of being called out as insensitive or wrong. it would be nice to hear opinions about this, if anyone has any at all. but yes, it is very long and very passionate, please dont mind......

this is with regards to the BA drama and the Slack group i mentioned here awhile ago. the people there are so...????? not only is their cancel culture ugly but their flimsy explanations and lack of care for their words just makes everything that comes out of their mouth performative. there’s a whole thread with 150++ messages about the BA situation and i said i was sorely disappointed with Gaby’s willy nilly response to the initial Sohla uprising. for context, Gaby is Argentinian, is BA’s test kitchen manager as well as the oldest member of the BA universe. she posted a story saying: “Hey guys! I am not one for following what the heck is going on! You know me, I do my own thing! I cook and be happy! 💚🌈 💚🌈 💚🌈” while the BIPOC members of BA were risking their jobs by going public about the systemic racism within Conde Nast. the white members of BA had stood in solidarity(🤔) with the BIPOC members, and Gaby is the only one who chose to bow out of all of it. someone replied saying maybe its bc Gaby’s an immigrant, like their mom, who was afraid to get involved in politics of any sorts because doing so in her time meant death. please tell me if im being insensitive but i think thats a grossly biased biography to impose on someone else, esp w such a clearly tonedeaf “💚🌈💚🌈” response at a time like that. i replied that and said yknow what, maybe thats true, maybe its not, but Gaby couldve read the room and given a much more neutral response even if she didnt care about it. THEN someone else replied saying they agreed with the previous person - “[i think] people are being too harsh on her. She is of a different generation who perhaps doesn’t grasp the role of social media in this movement. How can we expect her to condemn her EIC in the most thoughtful, politically correct way, when English is not her first language and the US is not her first country?” ???????? just saying Gaby doesnt “get it” bc shes old and an immigrant? i thought it was wholly condescending and fired back saying Gaby has mentioned being in the states fr a very long time and she knows how to put up highlights on instagram ffs, shes tech and English savvy. i also said Gaby’s language was very telling and tonedeaf “i do my own thing”. then the person replied saying “oh i didnt mean it like that, her response to me was representative of tbings we’ve heard from our own immigrant families right? “A lot of survival as an immigrant is tied to “I do my own thing” and that is inherently privileged while being a victim of the white supremacist system at the same time” 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 i did not like the “right?” super annoying rally tactic like actually debate w me dude. and if she hadnt meant to say Gaby didnt “get it” maybe she shouldve worded her thoughts far more carefully. also um..? i understand what youre saying but my whole point is Gaby shouldve been more careful with her words. pegging all of this onto her immigrant status, while may be right, seems so¿ what if Gaby didnt give a fuck, just like she shows she doesnt in her words? then what? like? am i crazy?? then i said i‘d rather she had said nth at all if she was gonna hang her members to dry. THEN THE PERSON RESPONDED, “LETS BE REAL [INSERTS BA’S WHITE MEMBERS] ARENT GNA LOSE THEIR JOBS” ????? I was very clearly talking about the BIPOC members...... why would i talk abt the immune white members..... she mustve barely read anything i said!!!

then w regards to the Delaney situation, some of them were like “he was in college when he used the queer slur?? when i was in high school everyone already knew better than to say it” “19???? way too old to be saying shit like that” sure he shouldve known better but age should not be the issue here. + Delaney has been one of the most vocal BA members abt BLM! hes clearly changed as a person, if not is at least one willing to learn frm mistakes! people were hunting him down on twitter, screenshotting shit frm 2012. they called him a coward fr deleting his twitter and tumblr - but whats the point of digging fr more shit to say “yes Delaney was indeed a bigot frat boy” when you already have a handful. i never knew what cancel culture was until this. other things theyve said include “🚫 no more conde nast 🚫 society has moved past the need for conde nast / ugggghhhhhh damn it, it’s my fault for thinking a white man could be unproblematic” howww. Later on Brad said he would quit if they fired Delaney and everyoneeee was like “duh Brad’s an outdoorsy white man 🥴🥴” ??? 1. THATS A DUMB STATEMENT TO MAKE 2. THE PERSON WHO POSTED THIS IS ALSO WHITE. what if Brad will quit bc Delaneys a friend????? then what? 85% of the BA team is white, Carla and Molly went to Italy while Chaey wasnt even paid fr the Thanksgiving series, Claire gets something crazy like 20k for every gourmet makes, and Molly was the chummiest member with Rapo, and you’re saying “duh Brad’s an outdoorsy white man”?? get your shit together

ok last one is when in response to my point about how Molly was so friendly w Rapo that she was the only one who‘d snap at Rapo as if he wasnt the scary prissy boss the same girl who said Brad is an outdoorsy white man said “oh i actually saw that as a personal coping mechanism against Rapo’s toxicity!!” i really died

[diary-iguess]

wahppn

J: nothing bad it was just really hot and i changed clothes twice

wake up 7 o clock for my interview, eat one piece a bread and some orange juice

ace di interview

dem tell me fi fill out the application twice

some yout try sell me a jelly candy

it cant open, but eventually does

Monique forwards

i meet her friend in the painting studio and we go get a box lunch

i sit down and eat the food

im sweating my life away

R: pepper?

J: before meeting the hustling yout, i left my portfolio in the hr office so mi did have to go back for it

no it's just hot af inna kingston

and i was wearing a long sleeve shirt

Paige seh him nah fwd fi di shoot

Thevrtistisjvmvicvn is sitting next to me, but i'm talking more than he

me a wonda how he can go school in full business attire and not become a puddle of sweat

Yanah appears and asks if she can have something nutritious

on campus

like a shake

Juice immediately says no dawg

Juice is working on a mythological drawing, but the paper he's using is trash and i tell him so

he says something about how it will still sharpen his skills and i said he needs watercolor paper if he's going to mix it with watercolor

is my story interesting?

i'm interested in telling a good story

R: I'm more interested in your friend's names

J: thevrtistisjvmvicvn said he wants to be a curator, but hasn't curated any shows yet

i tell him do that shit

lmao

R: Thevrtistisjvmvicvn, Yanah, Monique and Juice

I actually fucking love Juice

Now i know there are places I can't say that out loud

J: i ask my father if he can pick me up because Paige nah forward

he replies hmm

lmao have you seen the film?

my phone is dying and i have no credit because the tuck shop only selling $500 credit today

*back to the story*

i'm telling you this from my laptop

R: What parent says "hmmm"? was this a text?

J: yes

i knowwww

like

can't even K me

wtf

my shoes too big for me, so i stand on them instead of wearing them for a bit

Juice is playing music on his phone and one of the songs is from frank ocean's second project that he released the same time as blonde

my mind is blown

R: That must be some song

J: Yanah returns from the tuck shop with water still disappointed that there is no health food available

more mindblowing that he released two projects at once

i tell theartistisja that i like doing projects with many layers of meaning and process

i talk about my ananse storybook thesis and how i want everyone to know ananse is a deity and amina blackwood meeks taught me that

i say something like "yea, she's rad"

i talk about how the first time i met easton lee, i believed someone when they joked that he was 100 years old

and hoped that he didnt remember when i asked him if it was true

im dying laughing rn

my cousin invites me to sit and do work together at starbucks later

my father sends me a message "M is here, please call her through K-dollasign"

R: googled Easton Lee

J: lmao what did you find? he and my grandmother are friends

they're both legendary chinese-jamaicans

R: I can see he's definitely chinese-jamaican

J: yes and so is my grandma lol

R: author, poet

not bad

1931

J: but no doubt their swagger is enwrapped in their proximity to afro-jamaicanness

wow he's 87 this year

or 86?

M is my grandmother

i message K-dollasign

"i heard grandma M is here"

he replies "makes sense"

but intonates that he was not previously informed

i try to decode my father's message and K-dollasigns response

"makes sense"

he must be referring to Shutterbug's wedding

the same one i wasn't sure i was invited to

R: LOL

wow

are you going?

J: wait nuh man

R: lol

J: okay so i reach home, turn on my laptop

charge my phone

i frantically whatsapp my relatives

fb message uncle Macbook to get in touch w grandma

i try to search the internet for clues as to when this wedding will be

my sister says i should just ask Shutterbug if i can come

so i do that

uncle Macbook replies me with a different number to call, i call, get grandma

she says "no, no, no, you can't come to the wedding, the guests have already been counted and there's too many"

my heart sinks

i say, okay, well i can still see you today?

my cousin Carlton who wants to go to starbucks has arrived at my house

R: woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow

J: i try to devise a plan with Carlton and grandma and my dad all talking at once to pick grandma up and she says something about not wanting to be stranded and i say we would never let that happen to her

the phone isn't working very well and at some point my father has the phone

i return to my whatsapp messages on the laptop and Shutterbug has replied!

"hey, we were overcapacity a few months ago, but there's some space now. if you can make it on sunday, please come"

i tell grandma what she said

"okay, but how are you getting there? and where are you going to stay?"

i had not thought of this second part

the wedding is in mobay

R: MUFUFUFUFU

on a beach

duh

just sleep on the beach and get dressed in someones room in the morrow

J: i quickly say "aunty Rose's"

and she has already said she's very busy today and the plan to see me nah work out

"see you in mobay then!"

okay bye grandma, i love you!

"i love you too sweetheart"

now i have to whatsapp aunty Rose and see if she will shelter me

and K-dollasign to see if i can drive with him

R: funny at points but not a bad day

J: Carlton still deh yah a try reach liguanea fi get some food

the story did not get resolved yet

lol

it wasnt a bad day just long af

R: wait what

J: let me try summarize

R: Well I mean, between Yanah's Healthy snack Crisis and the Wedding Snafu, I thought the day was sealed with you tryna get aunty Rose

J: I was also supposed to meet Pearl at starbucks for 3pm

when Carlton and i pull up to starbucks, Rose a walk up deh too

synchronicity

R: 'the hell? Starbucks is a spot now?

J: that's the culture of the company

im like baffled as to both my grandmother and father asking me if starbucks is an appropriate place to link and do work together

that's how they've been selling the place for at least the last ten years

i order a tall strawberry and cream frappe w coconut milk and Carlton is very excited to get a pumpkin spice frappe, no latte because he doesn't want to burn his tongue

yesterday Pearl showed me a video she edited featuring this black guy with ginger hair, Souffrant

Souffrant appears before us in starbucks and sits at our table

i'm supposed to edit my own video with Pearl's color correction advice, but i'm still trying to figure out my travel situation

before we went to starbucks, we walked to tastees and my mom replied to my frantic messages about grandma and the wedding with "ur not paying attention to what i tell u"

there's like a whole thing where i'm trying to get my cousin Jazz's number to ask if i can go from kingston to mobay with him because K-dollasign is unavailable.

aunty Rose says of course i can stay with her and of course she has Jazz's number

resolve dat, so mi have a place to stay and a drive

there are several unrelated phone calls that need to be made but mi still nah no credit, so i borrow Souffrant's phone

then the next chapter is me, Carlton, and Pearl trying to walk to sov after i finally finish editing my video.

i take some really dope shots of the sunset

pause for incoming illustration

R: i mean

sure

make hay

all of the birds with 1 stone

J: -picture of sov-

R: this is sov

dark

but its sov

J: it's the golden sunset reflecting off the walls

then we all go to kfc and then i try look for some shoes to wear to the wedding, but then mi nuh even know if it's really a beach ting, but never fear, my likkle sister is here to whatsapp me the link to the wedding info website the couple set up!

it's a garden brunch affair ting

so we think to go to lee's instead of payless and when we reach back in fronta payless di people dem close

so now i will go to the thrift store tmrw to cop a whole new fit from the dress to the shoes.

when i reach home my father is going to the airport and grandma (dad's mom, not the one i was tryna see earlier) asks me to come with them which i would have done anyway.

driving back from the airport, grandma's bajan soca music continues to play in the car, but it seems louder now without dad's voice. i try to talk to grandma about herself. i ask about high school. she says, "do you expect me to remember 50 years ago"

i'm like yes of course

she said

"well

i was head girl"

of course! i say

and she was also in charge of sports such as running

the drive back home is very slow because grandma cant really see in the dark

when we finally reach home and i lay inna mi bed, mi wonda why mi so tiyad

and now i know why

thanks for tuning in, this has been an appreciation for the life we live, by Jeana like jeans pants

totes forgot the best part where K-dollasign pulled up on Carlton and me in traffic when we walked back to the plaza to get to the car

then another man pulled up on us and Carlton cuss me jokingly bout how i know everyone and we probably see someone else weh mi know

#fabulous

R: like bloodcleet jeans pants

yea, cause clearly you're a superstar

beer people, links and visits

J: