#but idk how long its gonna take for my psyche to buckle under the pressure either.

[morimyth]

Displacement begins tomorrow.

Thankfully I have some really good friends who are able to accommodate me. Sadly it's only able to be short term. I'll have about a week to recover some of my lung capacity before being tossed back into the fray.

More details under the cut:

The landlord is replacing the water heater, and as far as I know has no plans to address the mold or anything else unless we move out (he's done nothing to address any of this in the 4y total we've stayed here, last 2.5 of which I've been stuck, time is a weird soup). The water supply has potential to improve, but the electricity is actively out in some areas, and feedbacking in others. So not just mold inhalation, but fire hazards, inadequate heating (double fire hazard multiplier), and more.

My ex has promised new housing soon, but he's just starting to refinance and go thru the USDA red tape for a homeowners loan. They still need him to jump through hoops to be at enough of a standing to be able to apply, let alone find a house, have that house pass inspection, be approved for the loan for the theoretical property in question, and finally close. For the record, I've not been able to reliably bank on anything he's said since December 2020 when he threw me out and his whole ableist abuse of my boundaries and blatant disregard for my health started.

He's lying to his whole family, and they're under the impression we've been together this whole time, when he's played with my mind, my heart, and my body at every available opportunity. He still calls me "his" despite my clearly laying boundaries to the contrary about all of this. I don't feel safe here.

I've spoken to my DSS worker, who advised me against filing for disability before I have my diagnosis for Ehlers Danlos, (which I won't be able to see a Dr for til June, then I can maybe be allowed to have the genetic testing I need to diagnose the condition) and not to try applying for any emergency housing assistance unless I actively get kicked out again, or unless I can prove my ex has been physically violent to me (I can't). I can't call code enforcement without a worse eviction happening to me (violently, by the landlord, who continues to threaten my safety, and is worse than my ex).

So yeah. I don't feel safe here.

He's talking about spending another winter in this death trap, bc it's half the rent of anywhere else, and we can't afford to move before this loan goes thru. I'd rather go to the psych ward if it has to come to that.

Hey so I really hate to have to do this again, and I'm really sorry to keep doing this but idk what else to do.

I've been subject to too many mind games over the last year, so I apologize if my posts have seemed disingenuous. I deleted the old post bc I keep being assured things are okay, when they very much are not.

I have 4w to raise enough money to find a place to stay or I'm going to be pretty much homeless, and trapped.

He wants us to put all our things in storage and move into a tiny one room trailer that has a leaky roof. I am chronically ill. I can't live there. He didn't even ask. Just assumed I'd be down to sacrifice all my belongings to effectively be trapped worse than I already am.

I'm working on income based housing and disability applications but neither of those will be effective in time so

ko-fi. com/morimyth

pypl. me/morimyth

Anything is better than nothing at this point.

My kofi also has some things in it if you'd like a trade, and I'm reopening my channeled tarot readings also for sth of a lower tier if that's of interest.

Thanks so much.