damnatareginadamnatorum

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

Lmfao, on a scale of labor to chillin', the braxton hicks were definitely waaaaaaay closer to chillin.... still they did hurt but literally nothing compares to labor

Who tf is telling all these medical professionals that braxton hicks aren't painful? Cuz I have heard at least once from every woman I know how they are painful but significantly more mild in terms of pain than labor contractions.

And the ones I get ARE painful. So who tf is lying to these mfers?

Or is it just another case of the whole "the cervix doesn't have nerve endings therefore you cannot possibly be feeling pain while getting a hole punched into your cervix for a cancer screening" thing?

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

Yall, I had my baby over the weekend, and she is the darnedest cutest little bug ever ever ever.

It was a whole thing tho. I tried to do it sans pain meds because I am... tbh... just crazy...

I managed about 21/22 hours without meds... but then I had to get that epidural. And I don't know if I could have made it without it. Cuz by the time I even asked for it, i was certain that if things kept going I was just going to pass out. I wanted to just give up and pass out too. It wasn't just that I thought it would happen, I was praying for it.

And because she took so long to get here even after that, I dont know how well I'd have been able to push when it came time had I not asked for it. Cuz I would nooooot have been able to sleep and rest like I could with that epidural.

Speaking of pushing, thankfully I only had to push through 5 contractions in total to get her here. On that fifth set, her head popped out on that 3rd push. And then I was like oh thank God I can rest for a second and there's relief, hallelujah. But then the doctor said come on come on keep going, and I didn't even take a breath, I just went for it and then she was here.

It was amazing. I am ecstatic to have her. And I would, in spite of all the pain, the migraines I had during the 2nd trimester, the nausea, the exhaustion, and the post partum readjusting to using my bladder cuz that control is gooooone, I would absolutely do this a million times again just to get to hold my whole world.

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

Weird late pregnancy symptom/feel I was unprepared for: the constant period like cramping.

It keeps making me actually feel like my period is going to start, and I literally subconsciously sit there waiting for that little pop/gush that lets me know it's started. And then, I remember I'm pregnant so that's not gonna happen.

It feels like a super weird state of existence. Just constantly primed for my period to come, but that shit ain't coming, and it's been like 2 weeks of this. So my brain is also getting reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaal irritated that I'm still getting cramps because it expects the relief of the period starting.

I mean, I know these cramps are normal for this stage of pregnancy, but it does feel super weird to be constantly expecting my period to come and relieve me of the cramping when it ain't gonna happen... lmao

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

Who tf is telling all these medical professionals that braxton hicks aren't painful? Cuz I have heard at least once from every woman I know how they are painful but significantly more mild in terms of pain than labor contractions.

And the ones I get ARE painful. So who tf is lying to these mfers?

Or is it just another case of the whole "the cervix doesn't have nerve endings therefore you cannot possibly be feeling pain while getting a hole punched into your cervix for a cancer screening" thing?

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

Alright, well pregnancy is less terrible now but the headaches... good gravy. At least i have a medicine that seems to work for them cuz i was dying.

For real, for the first time in my entire life, the day before I got the medicine I had s migraine so bad it c9mpletely restructured my understand of pain. I could not imagine pain worse than what I was feeling. Thats the first time I've ever been at a 10. Ever.

Everything else seems so minor now.

But other than that, things are nice. I'm no longer horrendously nauseous. I have still thrown up a couple of times, but its rare and usually seems to be that I have a migraine and didn't take the medicine soon enough.

I'm pretty sure I felt my baby move the other night which was sooooo cool

So yeah, things are nice rn

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

Broooooo pregnancy sucks so much. Like I love my baby for sure but I am never doing this again. I am so tired of feeling like garbage and I have like 6 more months. 🤮🤮

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

I would much rather read a book than watch TV any day except a few shows. It's not because TV is an invalid medium. It's wonderful. Infact, it's pretty excellent. You can do a lot with television and movies. It is pure art. I just personally get more from books most of the time. Because of the way my brain does books.

And man have I been reading like a fiend this year. I've already read 7 books and I'm quite happy with them! There was only one that I did not enjoy as much as the others but it was still pretty good.

I have zero complaints about the series as a whole or the ending. It was lovely and I am very very pleased with it. It was dope af

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

I dont know why restaurants have decided ridiculously loud music is the thing. I hate it. You can't hear ppl, it's too loud and it ruins the experience

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

I dont know why this happens but when I experience grief I have nightmares more than usual and it's real rough.

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

I think its okay to mourn a relationship you've lost, even if you leaving that was what you wanted. And I mean, I'm not really mourning the relationship. Its just tomorrow would have been a 5 year wedding anniversary if I hadn't gotten divorced.

And that's not an insignificant relationship. I mean, my ex-husband was a trashbag and I hated that relationship by the end of it. And I have a lot of trauma around it, which is probably why I get depressed around this time of year every year. I usually try not to see the dates around this time so I don't notice, but I did by accident this year. So im sad

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

Can someone please tell me why, after a few months of having much better thoughts about food and body image stuff, I'm all of the sudden afraid of food again?!?!?!

Like i get covid for one week, and my brain takes advantage of the whole being sick and not eating thing. AND SUDDENLY WHEN IM NOT SICK ANYMORE, I CANT EAT NORMALLY NOW EITHER!

Wtf... we were doing so well. The recovery thing was actually going well for the first time ever. I really saw the light at the end of the tunnel and believed that I could live my life without the stupid interference of my eating issues because I was healing... and then a big ol' fuck you.

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

I definitely didn't realize after literal years of being uncomfortable with the term Bi and feeling like it didn't fit and going on a dating app recently and being like 'all the genders are fine with me, just gotta count for the poly rules me and my partner have set' and NOT REGISTERING the implications of that at all for months that pansexual fits me better than bi just because a friend came out to me as trans and it got me talking about identities with another friend and then thinking about it on my own.

Yeah, no... thats for sure not what happened.

Lol, Happy Pride y'all, I finally figured out something I should have realized years ago!

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

I had a very wonderful experience today. One of my coworkers came out to me as trans, and it was so honoring. I am beyond humbled that he trusts me enough to share that with me.

I'm non binary myself, but I dont feel the same stigma, personally anyway, that I see other people who are trans and nonbinary dealing with. It might be a blessing of the 'tism. But the just absolute trust in sharing his identity with me in the face of such a transphobic world, it is utterly humbling. I simply hope I can honor that trust always.

[damnatareginadamnatorum]

Holy sweat, I burned 935 calories dancing today.

I mean to be fair it was to burn off an entire pad thai box with 2 eggs.

(230x3.5)+150 (75/egg)=955