#but iam so damn tired i just want to sleep after work
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
sistarstarly · 7 months ago
Text
if i don’t get more time to do my tasks and make more actual content that involves the actual plot of my stories i think i might go insane rn
5 notes · View notes
queen-of-deans-booty · 6 years ago
Text
Just You
Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester
Word Count: 1,965
Warnings: none
Summary: You and Dean won’t face the feelings you have for one another until the dam breaks and it’s flooding everything.
Squared Filled: Mutual Pining
Author’s Note: I know some of you have requested fics, and I promise I will get to them. I just need to finish these bingos before the deadline in June/July of this year. I am also trying to post daily again so bear with me. This is for @spngenrebingo and this is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.
Feedback the glue that holds my writing together
Tags at the bottom
Tumblr media
No matter what anyone says, not matter what they believe, you do not have a thing for Dean Winchester. Well, that’s what you made everyone believe. Truth is, you liked the guy so much that he has consumed every one of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Everything you did, you always had him in mind when you did it.
Would Dean like this new outfit? Would Dean appreciate you taking initiative on the newest hunt? Would Dean appreciate a car wash? Would Dean like this, would Dean like that? It was getting kind of exhausting trying to please him all the time, but it’s like your body willed it. It’s as if nothing would give it more pleasure than to see Dean Winchester pleased.
It makes things harder when you tried to hide these thoughts and feelings whenever he was in the room. You liked him a lot, but he always finds some way to irritate you. The way he sticks a pen in his mouth to chew while reading, how he licks his lips right before he chugs down his beer, how tight his Henleys look late at night when it’s just the two of you. It makes things a whole lot harder around here.
It’s not like you don’t irritate him as well. He can not count how many times he wanted to jump over a table and strangle you for the things you do. Like, for instance, how you scrunch your nose up right before you sneeze, or how your tongue peeks out when you’re in deep concentration, and especially your short pajama shorts because it’s just too damn hot to wear pants. You drive him absolutely nuts.
No, he doesn’t like you, or he would never admit it to you. The only person who knew of his silly little crush is Sam and that was only because he caught him staring at you from across the room. Sam had said something crazy like how he would “take Baby on a joy ride in the desert and give her a good scratching” and Dean just said “okay” because he just wasn’t listening.
For weeks, Sam was getting sick and tired of seeing you two eye fuck each other when the other one wasn’t looking. Maybe if feelings were confessed, you two would have a wild night in the sheets and things could go back to normal. Although, after hearing what Dean gets up to in the showers early in the morning has scarred him for life. He doesn’t think he could ever come back from that.
All you could do now is just sit back and pine after the man who you have no chance with. Dating and potentially sleeping with another hunter, much less one that lives with you, is treading on dangerous waters. You don’t think you’re prepared to take a swim just yet. You might end up drowning.
The morning after a really rough hunt, Sam had been the first one to get up and go on his run. He only made coffee for two and since you were the next one to be up, you figured you could take the other cup and make some more before Dean woke up. Just as you were pouring your cup, Dean walked into the room.
“God,” he scoffed, already annoyed with you.
“What is it this time, Winchester?” you sighed.
“You took the last of the coffee!” he exclaimed as if you had just murdered someone in cold blood.
“Sorry, I’ll make another one.”
“Forget it. Too late anyway,” he scoffed once more before leaving the kitchen in a huff. He had been really short with you lately and it’s starting to get on your nerves.
“Strike one, Winchester,” you muttered to yourself as you sipped the warm beverage.
One of the things you absolutely needed to do after a hunt is take a shower. Thanks to the Men of Letters shower room, all three of you were able to take showers at the same time. Stalls separated each shower head, but the brothers refused to go in when you were in there. Something about respecting your privacy or some shit.
Whatever, it means more alone time for you. This is something you had developed over the years, stemming from when you were a kid, but you always left your towels on the floor of the bathroom when you were done with it. Don’t worry, you’d pick it up when you were done getting ready for the day. However, that first instance that you’d throw your towel on the floor is when Dean quite literally lost his mind.
He was scheduled to take a shower next, but when he spotted your towel on the floor, spoke would come out of his ears if it could. He snatched the towel up before stomping to the living room where you and Sam were watching a movie. It didn’t really bother him that a towel was on the flood since he wasn’t the most tidiest person, but the fact that it was you who put it there. Everything you do drove him crazy.
“What the hell is this?” Dean snapped.
“What are you going on about now?” you sighed, pausing the movie to look at him. Whoops, you must have forgotten to put the towel on the rack when you were done. Your mother always got mad at you for that. Something about how wet towels can grow mold or whatever. You just thought Dean didn't mind all that much.
“You left your towel on the floor, again.”
“I’m sorry, Dean. I forgot to pick it up. I’ll remember next time, okay?” you asked, giving him those big doe eyes of yours. You weren't doing it on purpose, but you stirred something in him that he needed to get out.
“Sam, a word please?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, following his big brother down the hall where they can talk in privacy.
“Strike two, Winchester,” you muttered to yourself as the brothers left.
“I am going nuts here man!”
“It’s just a towel.”
“Yeah, today it’s just a towel. But tomorrow, she could be leaving her… panties everywhere,” he sighed.
“Why don’t you tell her how you feel?”
“How I feel? Oh I feel very annoyed, maybe she might like that.”
“Dean, you know what I mean.”
“Forget it,” he shook his head, throwing the towel into the bathroom before storming off to his room. Sam really hated being in the middle of all this.
“I could really use a wingman, Sammy,” Dean grinned as he put on his jacket.
“No thanks,” he chuckled, taking a look at you. Arms crossed with the attitude, lips pouted. Dean was going out yet again to see if he could get some score for the night while you sit in with Sam doing God knows what.
“Y/N, you sure you don’t want to come?” he asked, looking at you.
“No, go have fun Dean,” you said with a tight-lipped smile.
“Okay. Don’t wait up for me!” he snickered as he left. You couldn’t believe he was actually going out and having fun with single ladies looking for a hookup. Yeah, he was single too, but he was blind if he couldn’t see what he was doing to you.
“You okay, Y/N?” Sam asked.
“Fine, why wouldn’t I be?” The room was filled with silence once more, but you couldn’t control the words that were coming out of your mouth. “I don’t understand why Dean would just go out when he has two perfectly good company right in front of him. All those women are just predators marking their territory. He’s being used, that’s what’s happening and he’s fucking blind.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t… like Dean do you?” he asked with a grin.
“Psh, you’re out of your mind if you think I’ll like a man like him. No, I bet he has fun with those sluts in tight dresses with their boobs falling out. I hope he has a great time,” you put, your tone suggesting otherwise.
“Right,” Sam smirked, minding his own business, or at least, trying to.
“Okay, I’m off for the night. I won’t be back until tomorrow morning,” Sam said as he slung his laptop bag over his shoulder.
“Have fun,” you muttered, your eyes not leaving the book in front of you.
“Don’t burn down the place,” he sighed as he left. Once the metal door closed, you looked at Dean whose focus was solely on the notebook in front of him. His pen rested on his full bottom lip. The way he clicked it against his lip got you thinking of all sorts of things. He seemed to not know what he was doing, but if he looked over at you he would see it plastered all over his face.
Yes, you had a thing for him, a serious thing, but he could never know that. Normally, you would have ignored him, but this was the going to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. Click. Click. Click. Click-click.
Screw this. He was doing this to you on purpose whether he realized it or not. When you got out of your chair, it scraped against the floor loudly. Dean looked up from his book as he watched you march right over to him. He thought this was going to be another fight about something stupid he was doing, but you only had one thing on your mind.
As soon as you were within touching distance from him, you slapped the pen out of his hand, grabbed his cheeks, and pulled you to him. Planting your lips firmly on his, you kissed him with every ounce of passion within you. As soon as you were going to pull away from him, he grabbed your hips and kept you there as he kissed you back.
With his hunter strength, he pulled you into his lap, fitting your legs around him. He kept you to his lips because now that he’s gotten a taste of you, he doesn’t ever want to taste anything else ever again.
Just you.
Wanna get tagged? Add yourself to this document! If your tag doesn’t work, find out why!
@akshi8278  @winchesterandpie  @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester  @carribear31  @oreosatmidnight  @not-naturalfangirl  @iam-a-cutiepie  @kristendanwayne  @milo-winchester-4ever  @jensenackesl  @irishmaniac316  @helllonearth  @juniorhuntersam  @pouterpufftrain  @ruprecht0420  @carriemichelle2012  @fandomgirl17  @05spn18  @my-wayward-heroes  @onlydeanandjensen  @expectosel  @redsalv20  @dragonrider10  @designcted  @xxtheoutsidersxx  @live-like-a-girl  @unfortunately-a  @waywardrose13  @adoptdontshoppets  @focusonspn  @whizzer1320  @infinite-supernatural-adoring  @babypink224221  @witch-of-letters  @essie1876  @kdfrqqg  @blackcherrywhiskey  @gh0stgurl  @mogaruke  @li-ssu  @musiclovinchic93  @kristaparadowski  @mizzezm  @thisismysecrethappyplace  @the-walking-daryl  @sandlee44  @supernatural13-13  @liberty01  @midnightsilver16830  @spnmeanwinchester  @notmoose45  @posiemax  @shortbty14 @cobrakai1967  @flamencodiva  @paintballkid711  @phantomalchemist  @gabrielslittleangel  @mel-ithilethiel  @jennalyncarrigan1230  @whit85-blog  @tricksterdean  @gabriels-golden-kazoo  @emoryhemsworth  @menewyn  @strayrosesbloom  @princessizzy36  @gucci-tata  @jennazeise  @amotleyworld  @kendall-michele  @mrspeacem1nusone  @ballistic-bailey  @graceless-stuff  @calaofnoldor  @stylesismyhubs  @janicho88  @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou  @shamelesslydean  @lizbester  @kina666
159 notes · View notes
persona-ego-shadow · 5 years ago
Text
It's been a while.. I have found myself again after i thought my life was over.
I think it's my inner self who always pushes me through bad situations. Never lets me stay sad or depressed for longer.
I was left heart broken by a guy whom i thought was perfect and when it was over i thought that's the only love I'm ever going to get. I was in a pool of my tears. I distanced myself from all my friends.
I wanted to keep my mind busy, I didn't share it with anyone because somehow i didnt want to bother any of my friends and a part of me knows that no one would understand.
So as a response to the trauma i wanted to be very busy so that i can keep my thoughts at bay and control myself. My routine consisted of working out in gym, traveling to work, working and come back home so tired that i would just have dinner and sleep. I'm not a kind of person who stays up all night. I'd prefer to sleep irrespective of the mood iam in. Believe me, no one's worth losing your night sleep for.
I started feeling myself again, i got a chance to go to Netherlands for work.
Just like a movie, somewhere in a foreign land away from the ones i care, i found myself. I found the immense potential i have to get over sad things and find the way back to myself.
Things do get better. If you give it a shot. If you are willing to put in an effort in bettering yourself.
I didnt love myself enough earlier that i was ready to give up my life for someone who wasnt ready to do the same for me.
My life might not have meant anything to him, but it meant to me a lot.
Now 10 months post break up, I'm in a happy place where i love myself enough to not put myself before anyone. I don't worry about it anymore.
It was a revelation and it was damn good. 💜
0 notes
thegangismyfamily · 7 years ago
Text
Love Me Senseless | One-Shot for Alli
Haiii 1. I was wondering if you got my Ship? I didn’t see it =P  Andddd 2. I was wondering if you can make a imagine with me x Ponyboy or Johnny about a fight and makeup please. ♥️♥️ I love your work  I have long brown hair with Hazel eyes that change from blue to green and when I’m sad or mad a light or dark grey, I’m 5'2" I wear glasses (sometimes) and I can be bubbly but once you get on my nerves I can be sarcastic or cold, And I don’t intentionally mean too 🌸
{Requested by the sweet cinnamon bun @iam-allikat }
A/N: Awww thank you, you’re honestly such an adorable sweetheart I die. and I apologize for how long it took me too write this, it’s actually shameful. I hope you like this and I apologize in advance if this isn’t what you had in mind. <3 also I know I shipped you with Johnny when you sent your ship request, but I hope you don’t mind me switching to Ponyboy. I’m curious to see how you two would turn out, and also I just don’t see Johnny arguing with you. but I’ll be posting a fight and make up preference soon. also this story really brought me out of my funk so yeah thanks :)) and I’m sorry this is so long, idek what happened.
Warning(s): A little angsty, reallllly long, like longer than I even meant for it to be, floaty fluff at the end, and that’s about it tbh :)
You bound up the stairs to your boyfriend’s house before knocking on the door. You know you didn’t have to, after all the Curtis household never locks their door, but you just never felt comfortable roaming around their house without being let in first.
Pony hated when you knocked. “You’re family. You’re my girlfriend so you’re family, you don’t have to knock. Just come in, eat our food, sleep on the couch, we don’t care.” That’s what he had said when you expressed your nervousness about invading their home. Back then he’d actually cared enough to bother having a conversation with you.
You grin as Soda opens the screen door and rolls his eyes playfully at you. Soda was sweet. From the moment you had met him, he was sweet. You had been around during the nasty break up with Sandy, and it honestly brought you two closer. You had dealt with your close girl friends going through rough break ups and you gave Soda the same treatment. You and Soda had spent countless nights together, just staying up and letting him vent while eating the last of the ice cream on top of the kitchen counters. You let him cry and helped him pick up the pieces of himself to get him back on his feet. It was a dark time for him, but if it had not been for it, you two wouldn’t be basically the best of friends as you are now. 
“Alli,” Two-Bit shouts from across the room. You wave at him before noticing the childish Mickey Mouse ears on top of his head. You greet the other boys who were sprawled throughout the living room.
“Hey kiddo,” Darry greets you as he rushes past you and into the kitchen. He usually came home during his lunch breaks when he could manage, but it seemed like today he was running particularly late today. You frown as you look around the living room and fail to find your boyfriend’s pale skin and mocha eyes.
“Move, creep,” Dallas jokes as he brushes past your shoulder as he exits the kitchen. He plops himself on the couch next to Johnny and cracks open his coke. You roll your eyes and smile at him and he nods his acknowledgement at you. You hold his eye until he points in the direction of Ponyboy’s bedroom. You loved your unspoken conversations with Dallas, Pony thought it was weird. But when you’ve known someone as long as you’ve known Dallas, a lot of things stop being weird to you two.
You turn and make your way down the hall. When you reached his door, you took a deep breath before turning the door knob. It didn’t budge. You twisted it a couple more times, thinking the door was jammed, but it was clear that the door was just locked. You sighed out of your nose heavily before knocking on the door. It wasn’t like he didn’t know you were coming, hell he told you yesterday to come over! You waited a few moments for Pony to unlock the door, when you found yourself still standing at the locked door you knocked again, harder. The hear shuffling behind the door before the sound of the door unlocking sounds through the narrow hallway.
Pony swings open the door to find you standing there impatiently with your arms crossed. He rolled his eyes at your expectant glare before turning around and launching himself back onto his bed. You walk into his uncharacteristically dirty room and close the door behind you. He rolls onto his back and throws an arms cross his face. You clear your throat to get his attention. He doesn’t look at you.
“Um Pony,” you say tentatively breaking the silence. He lets his arm drop down to his chest and he rolls his head in your direction to look at you. He has dark bags under his eyes that were never there before. He looks at you with the same warm brown eyes that captivated you the first time you met him. You lose your train of thought for a second. His hair is messy though, and he looks tired, like he’s aged 10 years since the last time you saw him.
“If you’re just here to stare at me-,” he starts. He trails off and doesn’t finish his sentence by the embarrassment of being called out for your prolonged staring caused your cheeks to flare pink. You shake your head and pull yourself together.
“Oh, no, um I’m here for our date,” you say sheepishly. Pony stares at you confused and your heart drops. Typical. “And you don’t remember, okay, great. Well jerk, you told me we were going out to the park yesterday,” you cross your arms and stare blankly at him. Realization strikes his face, and you are not amused.
“Right, right, right. No, um yeah can we reschedule,” he asks, throwing his arm over his eyes again.
“No,” you state simply. He throws his arm down beside him and stares at the ceiling, clearly annoyed.
“What do you mean, ‘no’,” he asks incredulously.
“That’s a stupid question. No means no. No means get your ass up, because we’re going out. I thought that was fairly clear,” you say sarcastically.
“I don’t want to go out with you,” he says, “right now.” His cheeks redden and you both feel the air tighten with tension as he tries to save himself.  
“Do you mean in general, or you just right now, right now,” you ask. The air is cold and thick and you hate it. It never used to be like that with him.
“It’s not me who acts like they want to break up,” he mutters. You stare at him. Is he serious? Is he being genuinely serious right now?
“I’m the one acting like I want us to break up,” you ask. You’re shocked, like authentically shocked. He scoffs at you, and you’ve just about had it.
“Oh my gosh, you’re delusional. You’ve lost it. Clearly you have, because it wasn’t me, whose been ignoring you for the past 2 weeks, Pony,” you spat. You were mad, you were absolutely livid.
“Yes because why would I talk to the girl who doesn’t even care for me,” he counters. You’re eyes widden in disbelief
“You stopped caring about me Ponyboy! I talk to you? Nothing. I try to give you a kiss? Nothing. I plan a whole god damn date night, and you don’t even show up!” You were yelling now, but this was a yelling matter. He sits up in his bed and swings his legs over the side.
“I meant to call,” he mumbles. You throw your hands up in the air.
“That’s not the point! I sat there for hours, waiting for you. Through all of this I’ve just been waiting for you to come out of this funk, to help me out in the two person relationship. But you just don’t care,” you argue. At this point, tears have started pricking your eyes and your cheeks burn with anger.
“I wasn’t the one who gave up! You did! You used to have so much fire in you, you’d snap at me for little things and I loved it. I loved that you had so much fierceness in you. Now you don’t even make the effort to scold me. I wouldn’t be surprised if you casually walked out of here if you found me with another girl.” You glare at him.
“Do you want to be with another girl?”
“I never said tha-. You’re missing the point.” He’s standing now, and his face is angry, but his eyes are sad.
“Then why even go through the trouble of bringing a ‘hypothetical’ girl into thi-”
“Look, all I’m just saying, if you don’t want to be with me, if that fire and passion is gone, then end it now. I love you, god I love you, but I don’t want you to feel forced to love me or be with me.” His face and eyes both match now, they both hold desperation, but you draw it out a little more, after all this is the most he’s spoken to you in weeks.
“Then why not talk to me? Why would you just cut me out like that? If there’s a problem, you tell me, and we work it out. Not you ignore me weeks and assume I know what you’re mad about,” you say.
“What about you? You let this go on for weeks. You obviously knew something was wrong, why not confront me earlier,” he attempts to counter. It’s a weak argument, and he knows it.
“Oh, okay,” you sarcastically mock him. You roll your eyes and you can see the anger flare up in Pony’s eyes. You lazily pick at your nails and ignore him as he rants at you.
“Alli,” he exclaims. You look up at him bored and you have to bite back a laugh as he grinds his teeth. Yes! This is what you were looking for! Passion, emotion, anything besides his god damn silence.
You pull out the rolling chair from his desk, and sit in it. His face is red as he rants and you feel the tension release from your shoulders. The problem isn’t resolved, but to know that this isn’t the end of you two, that he still loves you, is relieving. You sigh contently and lean your head back, letting your eyes slip shut. He stops mid sentence, seeing your position and stares at you curiously. You let out a laugh at the sudden silence and a breeze flows through the air and the papers scattered around Pony’s room rustle and floats the papers around. Ponyboy shudders at the sound of you laugh, god he missed the sound of it, he missed you. He sits on his bed and stares at you.
“I missed you,” he says. You smile and tears prick your eyes. You raise your head and look at him.
“I missed you too.”
“I never stopped loving you, I want you to know that,” he mumbles. His eyes are still on you. You look like a dream, like if he blinks you’ll float away. 
“I didn’t stop arguing because I didn’t care. I stopped arguing because we’ve been together so long, that nagging can become tiring. Me not arguing with you doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it means I love you enough to overlook the annoying, stupid things you do that drive me up the walls and not mention every chance I get,” you explain. He stands up from the bed and walks towards you before plopping himself on the floor. He takes your hands in his and rubs his thumb across your knuckles. You shiver at his touch. God how you’ve missed him.
“I love you,” he mutters as he pulls your laced hands to his lips and kisses them.
“I like you too,” you retaliate. He laughs, and you smile, and your heart feels light again.
“I like you too,” he repeats.
19 notes · View notes
nursabrinahassan · 6 years ago
Video
youtube
Well.... This is the answer to all my crankiness, moodiness, tiredness for the past few months. hehe🙈
Its been hard to keep this but we are beyond blessed to share that we have something baking in my tummy. Alhamdullilah for everything👐
I know it's still new to thank my husband, but hey, to put up with my moody for the past few months, wasn't easy. I'm at the last stage of my 1st trimester now, so I wanna share the difficulty, struggles I went through for the 1st trimester. Well.. every girls has different experiencing in a pregnancy journey. For myself, I'm blessed. Trully blessed that I doesn't have to go through nausea for the first few months. I got a swollen breasts, and I feel damn exhausted and I have never felt this tiredness in my life before haha😅
So I thought it was normal. You know pregnancy symptoms is the same as pre-period symptoms except the vomiting part. you will have breasts tenderness, backache cramping, feels tired etc. So as usual I thought I was about to come my period, because I feel the breasts tenderness and I realized my breasts is swollen and i realized the size increasing with my breasts. But i ignore it as i thought it was normal after marriage, hehe. But the tiring part was damn rabak gile. But then i thought i was tired from my work schedule because we started to work on Sunday and PH so i thought i was tired working on Sunday and PH. Also my moodiness was damn rabak but! i didn't realized my perangai berubah! i didn't realized i got angry easily! But my family and husband realized the changes in me, because I'm the happy type of person and they realized why i changed to a different person suddenly.But yes... I wanna thank my husband for being all patience with me. Thank you for putting up with my out of sudden got angry, the next minute I was laughing hard, the next minute I was crying. At first he got confused, but as days goes by, he starts to understand why this and why that and why iam behaving that way.
I remembered one night when my husband was making a joke, i scolded him and told him his joke was nonsense and i ask him to just shut up. I felt very very very very irritated that night. And when i said that, i saw his face was abit sad and he kept quiet for awhile then he said "dah start lah tu cranky dia." 😭then i went straight to sleep without talking to him, because at that moment all i want is just sleep.and the next morning, i feel so bad. really really bad for doing that to my husband. nonstop saying sorry to him. Alhamdullilah my husband understand me.
As days goes by, I'm getting used to my body changes. The backache, the cramps, the uneasy sleeping position, the nonstop waking up every night to urine every hour, the dizziness, the no appetite to eat any foods, the moodiness, the nonstop feeling sleepy/exhausted, etcetc. But I'm still lucky, of all symptoms, I doesn't have the vomit part. or should I say... it will happen later? hehe
I remembered at the early stage, all im looking forward for is sleeping. I just wanna sleep the whooooleeee dayyyy... I fall asleep at my work desk, and there's one day I was totally sleepy and tired, I went to the storeroom and slept for awhile but didn't realized I sleep for 2 hours straight! Wokeup and my colleague asked me where I go haha. I remembered the moment when i was too lazy to even take MRT to work and from work. So i grabbed every single day to work and from work. And then the moment i stepped in the grab, i fall asleep. When I reached home, straight terus lepak atas katil. Wokeup for awhile, then went back to sleep, wokeup again at night, then fall asleep back, wokeup again around 2am, then fall asleep again..... and that happened every single day. But thank you husband, for being there for me through out and being so so so so understanding towards me. I remember when I was at that stage, my husband wanting my attention. But! Whenever I wokeup awhile I didn't miss the period talking to him, I mean I tried my best to be there for him. I still jalankan my tanggung jawab sebagai isteri, teman dia makan, gosok baju dia, etcetcetc.
Alhamdullilah.... but of all things that ive been through, im glad & blessed to feel how it is like to go through pregnancy journey.❤Syukur Alhamdulillah for everything❤
0 notes
cmbeee · 7 years ago
Text
things i wish i could say
I am so sorry. I don’t have any clue what to say or where to start but I just want you to know I am so disgusted by the last month of our relationship. I went back to about two weeks before I came back and read our texts. I’m missing you a lot and wanted to remember how we talked to each other before all of this. Iam literally sitting here with Destiny in tears because I never realized how fucking insane I was about everything. I know this is just the case for our friendship now and after reading those I understand why you were so done. I’m so sorry about all of it Blake, I’m literally in awe. The times I was at work and you were trying so hard to fix things, I was horrible to you and I’m so so sorry. Please know that I was honestly blind through all of this until now about how mean I was to you and how unnecessary the fighting was. Please note that I’m sorry and I hope you know it wouldn’t be like that, in a friendship with us or relationship. I love you and I think I just had enough of the distance towards the end and didn’t knowhow to be without my bestfriend for the majority of the week. I said some of this in the letter but I think I just got scared about missing you so much and being so in love that it got the best of me. This cycle has been equally toxic but the before parts was all me. I never would have said that then and I beg that you can note that. I love you to death, always will. I’m sorry I couldn’t see you felt the same when we were together. I was scared about losing you all the time and reacted poorly. I love you forever, B, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be okay when we were dating.
today I went back and read our texts. All of them from when we we’re deciding where to go to dinner the night I came back to Statesboro until just a few days ago. I don’t want to fight with you, and I know you don’t want to fight with me. I just want to say one thing. I did all I’ve done these last few weeks because I am so in love with you it scares the shit out of me. If I understand correctly and correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re in love with me too but you’re sick of the fighting and this toxic back and forth we’ve been doing. So if you’re in love with me, if you’ve ever been in love with me, do one thing for me. When you think about us and you start to miss me and you find yourself wishing I was where you are, don’t think about these last few weeks. Think about last week and think about how we weren’t fighting so we actually got to enjoy each other and love eachothers presence. Don’t think about the Summer. Think about every night we spent together before I left and how fun it was. Don’t think about the fighting. Think about me, the girl that would do anything for you, think about all the laughs we had that no one else understood, think about the days in Atlanta and the days in Augusta, and my friends that love you and your friends that love me, and my little sister that adores you, and my mom that envies you for always knowing how to love me even when I don’t make it easy. Even when I make it hard as hell to love me if we’re being honest. I know I make it hard, I make the people that love me jump through hoops to prove it to me day after day because I’m insecure about that. I don’t believe people love me because I know I’m hard to love and its unbelivable to me that someone that didn’t have to love me (family) would ever feel that way for me. Think about the good things and the changes I’ve promised I would make for you and for us if we were to be given another chance at this. You asked for time and space, I pushed it because I can’t imagine living everyday without you. It’s only been two and I’ve had to leave every class I’ve had at least once because I start crying. I know i’m hard to love and I know I fight with you about stupid shit but I beg of you to trust me that I am not who you’ve made me out to be in your head over the last few weeks. I’m your bestfriend, the one you call for everything, and I don’t ever want to not be that. I have never agreed with you on the time and space, I’ve always thought we just need to spend time and remind each other why we fell so hard and so fast for each other in the first place on that first night and those first few days. However, I understand now that I’m not always right and even though I try really hard, I don’t always know the right thing to do. I value your feelings and your wants and needs and I’m going to try really fucking hard to respect them as well. I hope in the time and space that you want you remember why you loved me the way you did, so purely and passionately, and how we loved eachother and miss me as much as I know full damn well I’ll be missing you. There are so many things coming up with my family and KD and my friends and just life that I thought about over the Summer and you were right next to me through all of it. Anytime I’ve thought about my life or my future it’s been with you. Before I told you about what I thought happened that night, the problem we were discussing was that I didn’t think you were serious about this. I knew you were, but it was something I could bitch about when you weren’t giving me attention so I took it. I’m sorry. But I asked you to tell me if you saw the same things with me that I saw with you and you said “Cass, if I didn’t see a marriage and kids with you in the future then I wouldn’t still be here.” Blake you felt that way about me when I hadn’t worked on myself, when I was manipulative and quick to accuse and unsure about your feelings. I said this in the letter too but these last 3 weeks or month or whatever it’s been has scared me like nothing else ever has. I didn’t realize how irreplaceable what we have together is, I didn’t realize how much you did for me, or how much you meant to me, and I definiely didn’t realize how in love with eachother we were or I hope still are. You and I both have been through the fucking ringer recently, and somehow we always end up back together, I’ve hated you and you’ve hated me, and then we love each other again. Not that we ever stopped loving eachogher but we got good at hiding it in hopes we would could fool eachother with these fake ass walls we tried to put up. Blake, you’re the only person in my life that has ever been able to break down my walls. You’re the only person I’ve ever let this far in and I know I’m only kidding myself when I put up walls against you. It’s what we do. It might be messy sometimes and it definitely gets tiring at points but I wouldn’t want something with anyone else over what we have. We get through things together Blake, we always have. I know that because you told me that the last week I was home. You said to me, “Cass, we’ll get through it. We always do.” and that will stay in my heart forever whether we give this another chance or not. It takes you holding my hand or smiling at me for me to believe we can get through anything, to believe I can do anything and I hope with this time you’ll remember that too, and I hope you also know that not a single one of these days apart from you is going to be easy for me, but I’m doing it for you because thats what you’ve led me to believe you need. I don’t remember the last time I ate solid food, I can’t fall asleep and when I do I wake up at 5 and can’t go back to sleep, I cry throughout the day and when I’m not crying I’m holding back. I know you’re over the drama, because even I am, so I’m going to leave you, as hard as that fucking sounds, and pray to God everyday that you remember the love you have for me and that you trust that I know how to and WANT to love you better now than I ever did before. So goodbye Blake, I love you and I miss you already. I have a lot of life long dreams just around the corner, law school, living in a big city, making a difference, but my main dream right now is that you and I, Blake and Cassie, get to give this crazy thing we call love another go because I know in my heart you are someone so so special to me and I can’t imagine giving up on us this easily. I love you endlessly B, and I’m always just a phone call away if you need me. Goodbye.
0 notes
scentedstarfishtheorist · 7 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
The Zen Art of Seduction
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0758W2TC7      Hello! Iam Kyle and in just a moment, I will show you THE ZEN ART OF SEDUCTION system. This is a system that flips a switch in a girl’s mind and get her obsessed with sleeping with you, it takes complete control of her thoughts, and even though this might sound impossible now, once you read the short book and do what it says. You will feel like you suddenly have a remote control to the bang me center of her mind.You will finally have that female friend Butt-naked on your bed confessing how badly she wants it, you will be surprised when that bartender or waitress you have a secret crush on is slipping her phone number on the receipt. You will shock your friends when that hot girl at the party who everyone has their eyes on is flirting with you and begging to go back to your place.This Zen Art of Seduction will even have that girl who got away. Knocking on your door at two in the morning because she suddenly decides she has to have you inside her. And I personally promise that any girl will fall for the Zen Art of Seduction No matter her opinion of you now, how bad of a first impression you made with her, No matter how shy or nervous you are around girls you like. And No matter how many times you tried and failed to seduce some girl you so desperately wanted.And it will work even if you think you too “old” or you’re too hopeless of a situation to fix, and yes! It works even if she thinks you so unattractive or so ugly to date.In fact if you follow the step by step process to the ladder, it will be completely out of her control. She has to respond!Isn’t that something you would love to know? You might be getting excited and thrilled, going, “Damn! I can’t wait to give it a try” but relax, wait a minute. Before you click the Buy Button, there is one thing I want to make absolutely clear to you; The Zen Art of Seduction is only for a specific type of guy. If you have already got a cool hot sexy girlfriend you are crazy in love with or maybe you are secretly into dudes, if that’s the case then close this description.This Book is for the guy who is tired of hot young women choosing other guys over him. If you are tired of feeling needy and powerless. If you feel clueless around girls you are attracted to and don’t know how to act and what to say. If you can’t keep a girl interested long enough to make her your girlfriend or get her into bed. If you have never had the pleasure of waking up in bed next to a girl you are completely in love with.Then you may go ahead to click the Buy Button
These are some of the things you will learn from the book
.•The Tease technique, Touch and Whisper technique. These techniques will arouse such thick sexual tension in women in literally minutes or seconds.•They will reverse the game and make women chase after you.•The rapport techniques, these develop such a strong emotional bond between you and her that she will immediately entrust her feelings to you. •Holding a woman’s attention hostage that she gets addicted to your presence.•Subliminal signals how you can make certain set of body movements that will create sexual tension in her, by the time you approach her, and she will be long waiting for your move like a thirsty person yearning for glass of water in the desert.•The Amazing flirting techniques that will make women addicted to you like chocolate, create intense sexual tension in women. •Zen attitude of pulling by pushing away, you will understand what to do in order to intensify the attraction you have built.•Ways of conditioning a woman and she responds to you like a robot, this is advanced knowledge that can get me detained if misused. •Reasons why you get friend zoned, how to kick your ass from there, the main causes of breakups and how you can use The No Contact Method to get her back.Click the buy button Now and you will be taken to the Book.
0 notes
groovystrawberryrebel · 7 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
The Zen Art of Seduction
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0758W2TC7      Hello! Iam Kyle and in just a moment, I will show you THE ZEN ART OF SEDUCTION system. This is a system that flips a switch in a girl’s mind and get her obsessed with sleeping with you, it takes complete control of her thoughts, and even though this might sound impossible now, once you read the short book and do what it says. You will feel like you suddenly have a remote control to the bang me center of her mind.You will finally have that female friend Butt-naked on your bed confessing how badly she wants it, you will be surprised when that bartender or waitress you have a secret crush on is slipping her phone number on the receipt. You will shock your friends when that hot girl at the party who everyone has their eyes on is flirting with you and begging to go back to your place.This Zen Art of Seduction will even have that girl who got away. Knocking on your door at two in the morning because she suddenly decides she has to have you inside her. And I personally promise that any girl will fall for the Zen Art of Seduction No matter her opinion of you now, how bad of a first impression you made with her, No matter how shy or nervous you are around girls you like. And No matter how many times you tried and failed to seduce some girl you so desperately wanted.And it will work even if you think you too “old” or you’re too hopeless of a situation to fix, and yes! It works even if she thinks you so unattractive or so ugly to date.In fact if you follow the step by step process to the ladder, it will be completely out of her control. She has to respond!Isn’t that something you would love to know? You might be getting excited and thrilled, going, “Damn! I can’t wait to give it a try” but relax, wait a minute. Before you click the Buy Button, there is one thing I want to make absolutely clear to you; The Zen Art of Seduction is only for a specific type of guy. If you have already got a cool hot sexy girlfriend you are crazy in love with or maybe you are secretly into dudes, if that’s the case then close this description.This Book is for the guy who is tired of hot young women choosing other guys over him. If you are tired of feeling needy and powerless. If you feel clueless around girls you are attracted to and don’t know how to act and what to say. If you can’t keep a girl interested long enough to make her your girlfriend or get her into bed. If you have never had the pleasure of waking up in bed next to a girl you are completely in love with.Then you may go ahead to click the Buy Button
These are some of the things you will learn from the book
.•The Tease technique, Touch and Whisper technique. These techniques will arouse such thick sexual tension in women in literally minutes or seconds.•They will reverse the game and make women chase after you.•The rapport techniques, these develop such a strong emotional bond between you and her that she will immediately entrust her feelings to you. •Holding a woman’s attention hostage that she gets addicted to your presence.•Subliminal signals how you can make certain set of body movements that will create sexual tension in her, by the time you approach her, and she will be long waiting for your move like a thirsty person yearning for glass of water in the desert.•The Amazing flirting techniques that will make women addicted to you like chocolate, create intense sexual tension in women. •Zen attitude of pulling by pushing away, you will understand what to do in order to intensify the attraction you have built.•Ways of conditioning a woman and she responds to you like a robot, this is advanced knowledge that can get me detained if misused. •Reasons why you get friend zoned, how to kick your ass from there, the main causes of breakups and how you can use The No Contact Method to get her back.Click the buy button Now and you will be taken to the Book.
0 notes
queen-of-deans-booty · 7 years ago
Text
Pamper For The Night
Characters: Dean x Reader
Word Count: 1,431
Warnings: This is in first person with Amy as the reader. Fluffy Dean, reader overworking herself, Dean being a sweetheart.
Request: You study hard all the time. Dean understands this and decides to clear your plate for you, giving you a night you deserve. 
Author’s Note:This is a personalized oneshot for @potterhead1265! She made me an aesthetic and this is my payment to her! Amy, I hope you like it! If you want to be a Queen or a Dean Bean, let me know and I’ll add you to the lists!
Feedback the glue that holds my writing together
Tags at the bottom
Tumblr media
It's been a long and hard weekend. Finals were coming up for school and I really needed the time to study. However, I couldn’t study at home since I was in the process of moving into my boyfriend’s Bunker with his brother. Dean and I have been in a relationship for a while now, ever since I met him on a hunt when we both pretended to be FBI agents.
That’s actually what I was going to school for. I was interested in the world of crime and that’s what got me into hunting. At first, I didn’t know about the supernatural world, I just thought it was another crime, done by another sick person.
That wasn’t the case and I ended up facing a vampire my first time. It wasn’t pleasant and I almost got killed but I managed. After that, I did some serious research and I couldn’t stop after that.
Anyway, I’ve been living next to my school since I didn’t have a car and that was the most reliable way for me to study and to get to class. There was a huge library across the street from the campus and that’s where I would spend most of my days, working my brain off.
With the stress from moving and finals coming up, things were moving very slowly for me. I rarely saw Dean and when I did, it was to drop off boxes so I could go back to studying. Which is why I was at the library at 9 at night, about to cry.
I have been studying and studying and as much as I understood the information, my brain didn’t want to retain it. I always liked to hand write my notes because it helped me understand it a bit more but with even that, it wasn’t working. I was very organized when it came to studying, using color highlighters, sticky notes, rulers to make the lines straight, everything I would need to make the notes perfect and easy to understand.
I tried listening to my favorite soundtracks from the movies I liked, the ones with no words, because sometimes, that helped me a lot but my brain was in overload. If I didn’t relax soon, I didn’t know what I was going to do. But, there are things that still need to be done and I wasn’t going back to my apartment until it was done.
“Amy, wake up.” I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder and my eyes shot open. I sat up, groaning when a paper was stuck to my face. I swatted it away and wiped the drool from my face. I looked at the owner of the hand and relaxed when it was Dean.
“Dean, what are you doing here?” I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
“I called you five times and you didn’t answer. I know you said you were busy studying but, sweetheart, this isn’t good. You need sleep and to relax.” Dean said, taking the seat next to me.
“I’m fine, Dean. I need to get this done or else I’ll fail my finals. Plus, I’ve only been here for an hour anyways.” I said, looking at my notes again.
“Amy, it’s been 3 hours.”
“3 hours? Man, how long was I out?” I asked, looking at the time. He was right, it was midnight.
“I’m not sure. I came in and you were asleep. It’s a good thing this library is 24 hours, right?” He said with a chuckle.
“Just give me another hour and I’ll call you tomorrow.” I said, going back to studying but Dean’s hand covered the page. Damn it, his hands were huge. I couldn’t read anything.
“No, you’re coming home with me. You can come back tomorrow. You need sleep.” Dean said, gathering my notes and books. I didn’t stop him mainly for the reason that he was right. I yawned and nodded, putting my pencils and highlighters back into my bag.
“You’re right. You can just drop me off at my apartment. The Bunker is so far from this place. No point in me going there when I’m coming back tomorrow.” I said, standing up. I was more awake than I was before I came into the library but I was still tired.
“Nope, you’re coming back to the Bunker. If anything, Sam will help you study.” Dean said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
“What, you don’t want to help me?” I joked, giggling.
“Sweetheart, I love you but there is no way I am sticking my nose in one of your books.” Dean said, walking with me to the car I grew to love. I got in and rested my head on the window. It was a bit uncomfortable but hopefully, I would be back in the Bunker, by Dean’s side.
Dean placed his hand on my thigh and I looked at him. He motioned me over and I was suddenly thankful there was no middle console stopping me. I slid over to him and put my head on his shoulder, letting the warmth that came from his body and the rumble of Baby lull me into another sleep.
The sound that woke me was the sound of the garage door opening and closing. I sighed, picking my head up to see the row of old cars that were rarely used. I got out of the car and stretched, taking my backpack from Dean’s hand. I groaned and set it down, rolling my neck.
“Amy, you okay?” He asked.
“Yeah, I guess. My shoulders have been hurting from my backpack. I’m used to it, don’t worry.” I said, sighing as I went to pick my backpack up but Dean beat me to it.
“Let me.” Dean said, walking into the bunker’s kitchen. I followed him and didn’t waste time in going to Dean’s room. I was moving into Dean’s room and was thankful that he didn’t complain about the mess of boxes in his room.
However, when I walked into his room, there were no boxes and it seemed as if everything I had brought from my apartment was unpacked.
“Dean?” I called out, a bit confused.
“Oh, you like it?” He said once he joined me.
“Did you unpack my things?” I asked, looking at him. I wasn’t mad at him or anything, just confused as to why he didn’t let me do it.
“I did more than that. Everything from your apartment is here. No more moving.” He rubbed the back of his neck, something he did when he was nervous.
“You did that for me?” I asked, in awe of him. He nodded sheepishly and I grinned, standing on my toes before pressing my lips to his. He kissed me back, his hands automatically going to my waist. I was going to deepen the kiss but he pulled away from me before I got the chance.
“Come on.” Dean said, taking my hand before walking into the hallway.
“Where are we going?” I asked, even though I followed him. He walked to the bathroom and as I approached the door, I could already smell the lavender soap I used regularly. I walked into the bathroom and gasped, seeing how the tub was filled with water and bubbles, candles and roses scattered around the room.
“Dean, what is all this?” I asked.
“This, is what you deserve after a long day studying,” Dean said, kissing the top of my head. “Stay in here as long as you like.”
“Wait, stay in here with me.” I said, wanting to relax with him.
“But, this is for you. I don’t want to ruin it.”
“Don’t be silly. Get naked and get in the tub. Join me.” I said with a smile. Dean saw how happy I looked and he nodded, taking his shirt off.
“Alright, fine.” I smiled and rushed to the door, closing and locking it. Dean was already in the tub when I got back and I stripped quickly, stepping in front of him. Dean pulled me into him and I rested my head on his shoulder. I smiled, feeling myself let go from all the stress.
“Thank you for all this.” I whispered quietly to him.
“You deserve it.” Dean said, peppering small kisses on my neck and shoulder.
“I love you, Dean Winchester.” I said feeling safe in his arms. He moved his hands to my thighs and squeezed before he grabbed the loofah I used and ran it over my body, underneath the water.
“I love you, Amy.”
The Queens:
@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith  @mogaruke @whit85-blog@inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg@jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing@supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967 @essie1876@wishedworld @crispychrissy @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @potterhead1265@starswirlblitz @untitled39887 @ta-n-ja @deans-fallen-angel-boy @scarletluvscas @notnaturalanahi @tahbehonest @stay-in–place@dreaminofdean @posiemax @donnaintx @mikey1822@alexandriajanae4 @li-ssu @just-another-winchester@obsessivecompulsivespn @emoryhemsworth @newtospnfandom@mizzezm @goldenolaf25 @jessikared97 @wh1sp3r1ng-impala@charliebradbury1104
The Dean Beans:
@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie@spn-dean-and-sam-winchester@carribear31  @tacklesackles@oreosatmidnight @not-naturalfangirl @missselinakitty @iam-a-cutiepie  @kristendansmith@milo-winchester-4ever @jensenackesl@codyshany316@pheonyxstorm @helllonearth @juniorhuntersam@pouterpufftrain@ruprecht0420 @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car @carriemichelle2012 @aubreystilinski
@thing-you-do-with-that-thing
68 notes · View notes