#but i've survived three divorces before

[starliteonearth]

A lot of people are missing that this whole situation is basically Daemyra's midlife marriage crisis. Their honeymoon stage is over, shit hit the fan, things got real, things got heated, they had their first major fight, they split apart for some space (well Daemon did), and now they're seeking connection and support and intimacy from other people, because they're struggling terribly alone. Mysaria and Alys are those other people. However, the elephant in the room is that they desperately need to talk to each other and work out their problems, like everyone has been urging them to, but they've been avoiding doing so like it's the damn plague. They'd rather twist and untwist themselves into knots that admit they need each other. But make no mistake: they will reconcile, it's just going to take a minute.

[moonacrefarm]

anticipating love

summary: your parents marriage didn’t survive the test of time and neither did you first love. 

contains: childhood friends to lovers to strangers, second-chance romance, angst, hurt/comfort, slight miscommunication, fluff, 18+ series, mentions of stalking, mentions of cancer, no mention of y/n

authors note: so...uh, here it is :D

series masterlist

next part | 02. never hesitating

01. watching, i keep waiting

It felt like clockwork. An annual phone call from your estranged father, asking for a few life updates before awkwardly ending the call. This time, the silence hung in the air longer than the usual three minutes, a quiet hesitation you stuck around for.

Beau "Cyclone" Simpson was known for being a stickler for the rules; strict and to the point. He wasn't a natural-made family man; your mom accused him of hiding in his work and neglecting his duties as a husband and father. It was the last argument they had before she stuffed you in the backseat of her car.

They hadn't seen each other since.

However, this time, the anxiety could be felt through the phone, "Dad? Is there something else you need?" You inquired.

He sighed, "How… How's your mother?" The edge that settled in his voice finally clicked. He knew. A few deep breaths later and you gathered the strength to speak.

"She's…getting better. The doctor said there's hope." Silence followed again. It felt as if time slowed before he spoke again, “There’s a doctor here in San Diego who can treat her. We never divorced so… if she wants to I can…” He went quiet for a moment. “I know the move would be taxing but you guys would be closer to family and—”

“I'm not sure if she would want that, dad.” You spoke softly, gently cutting him short. “I've tried to convince her to take the recommendation, but…you have to speak to her.” Further silence followed. You could almost hear his heart hammering over the phone.

Your parent's relationship was a mystery to you. They’d never divorced but you were uprooted and planted halfway across the country when they separated. Your father didn’t fight and your mom didn’t have it in her to keep up with him. He’d prioritized his career over his family, and you knew he regretted it following your and your mother's departure.

Sure, you’d seen him sparsely throughout the years, receiving birthday gifts and visiting for holidays, but the damage had been done.

"Alright. You're right. I'll try to talk to her as well." He conceded. You didn't respond, whispering a soft goodbye before pivoting towards the window.

Observing as your mother tended to her garden, humming along with the radio. You had made a home in Virginia, but was it home? Both of your mother’s and father’s families were on the West Coast and the state held bitter memories after a failed engagement.

She'd always been stubborn, and while you weren't your father's advocate, you couldn't lose her. You understood this was her best option, yet she refused to take it.

It felt like days they spent speaking over the phone. Your father fighting tooth and nail to match your mother.

“You can’t honestly expect me to move halfway across the country for a maybe.” She spat. You couldn’t hear your father’s response but whatever he said softened her, wilting as her eyes filled with tears. She glanced at you. “Fine. We’ll see you then.” Her shoulders slumped as she made her way towards you, plopping on the couch and leaning her head on your shoulder.

“Pack your swimsuit. We’re going home.”

Phone calls had been made, flights booked, boxes shipped and suddenly you were standing in your childhood room. Not much had changed, except for the piled-up boxes that had been pushed into the corner. Memories hung around like outdated decor, a bitter taste filling your mouth.

A light knock jerked you out of your stupor.

“I didn’t know what to do…so I left it as it was.”Your father stood at the door. His frame taking up most of the space.

You inhaled a shaky breath, “Do you think it will work?” The fragility in your voice was noticeable as he inspected your face with a crease in his brows, lips pursed. “I hope so.”

Not much else was said as you continued to unpack. Mentally running through your to-do list for the next month and a half. Your mom had a doctor's appointment set for next week, and all you could hope for was promising news in the meantime.

Your mother's illness put a hiatus on your life. Her diagnosis turned your axis on its head; stability gone in a wink. Now you were unsure. Unsure of your future, of time, of her future. You decided to take time off of work and dip into your savings, this move wouldn’t strain you. If you were lucky, you’d be able to find a job near base, hopefully in some clinic. You couldn’t focus on patients when you’d see your mother in everyone. Time lost in your career wouldn’t compare to the time you valued with your mother.

While strolling through the house, you noticed your old family photos hadn’t been moved. Not a speck of dust to be seen in the home as you glanced at your parents in the living room. The tension was easy to notice. It permeated the air and left a heavy feeling in your lungs.

Words were waiting to be said you didn't want to be around for the aftermath. Not only to spare yourself from the debris of their approaching fight but also to give yourself the freedom to reset. Your emotional turmoil was eating you alive you needed some time to breathe.

“I’m gonna go visit Penny, she said to head down the bar once we were settled.” A swift kiss on your mother's cheek while she murmured, “Send her my regards.”

San Diego was a time capsule, the neighborhoods aging while the city was ever-changing. Familiar streets diverging off to ones you didn’t recognize. It’d only been a few years since you’d last come down and somehow that was enough time to reinvent the city.

Hard Deck itself had seemed the same, the amiable environment and ocean breeze skimming your cheeks. You’d arrived before the pub opened, approaching with excitement and allowing the bell to signal your arrival.

“Here I thought you were gonna stand me up?” Penny glanced over you with shining eyes, “Looks like at least oneSimpson can keep a promise.” A grin filled her face as she embraced you, her hug providing the warmth and consolation you needed after a massive move. “Where’s your mother?”

“Having it out with my dad” She winced.

“No wonder you got here before the bar opened.” You two shared a knowing look. You knew Penny had questions. Your mother was private about her sickness and never disclosed details. She even attempted to keep things from you. “Mom is down to see a doctor who might be able to help. I don’t know how the hell dad convinced us to share a roof but here we are.” You shrugged, wrapping behind the bar for a waist-apron.

Penny understood, bouncing her head as she gave you a gentle smile, “She's a determined woman. I believe she'll beat its ass before it even thinks twice about getting her.”

A faint huff came out of your mouth, “You know, you’re not wrong…” Before you could continue, Penny chimed in.

“There's a reason they referred to her as Hurricane, not only to piss off your dad but being an admirals daughter made her tough. Hell, your grandfather could barely keep her in check. He said he could control your mother or do his job.”

Laughter filled the bar, resounding through the empty building. The two of you calmed down, and you nodded your head in mortification, arranging some of the spirits as she continued.

“Hey, there's a reason we call you a little spitfire. Your dad and your mom? Of course, they'd create a vixen.”

A delicate smile graced your face, "I missed you, Penny." You admitted, "And I you. It’s not every day I get to see my favorite niece.” She tapped your nose as she turned to clean the bar top.

“Penny, I’m your only niece.”

“Details, details..” She hitched a tub of glass cups on her hips, waving you off, “If you aren’t gonna get to work, I’m gonna have to throw you overboard. We got a boat docked today.” You giggled at your aunt’s antics, appreciating her ability to keep the conversation light.

Penny glimpsed at you curiously, “Have you talked to….anyone else since you got back?” You understood what she asking without having her clarify. “Just some family members.” She gave you the eye, “But no. Haven’t spoken to Bradley in eight years and counting.”

“I thought you guys reconciled after you both graduated?”

“Not really. We talked sure, but we hadn’t spoken between then and when we finally did, things went to shit.”

Penny bobbed her head in understanding. "Stick jockeys… the only thing that keeps them grounded is insubordination." A huff fell off your lips as you got busy moving between tables. The crowd came in all at once, hordes of uniforms tottering in, some with arm candy, others eyeing for arm candy. This kept you in constant motion; gathering up drinks, bringing refills, making cocktails, and dancing around the jukebox.

The throng kept you light-headed, and you were thankful for it.

Groups of locals, navy sailors, and aviators cheered, drank, and sang. You were grabbing a refill for someone at the bar as Penny flirted with someone who looked vaguely familiar; he flashed her a warm smile as you tried to place him.

The distraction was short-lived when you took a pool stick to the hip. Your tray tilting into the hands of an arrogant aviator, his grin cocksure as he glanced you up and down, “Sorry dove,” He started, restacking the glasses, “I didn’t—”

“Careful.” You warned. “Disrespect a lady and get the bell.” Your finger pointed as a mischievous smile graced your face, “I think a pool stick to the hip is reason enough, no?” Your hands had been itching all night to ring the bell, it’d be a while.

“What if I help you carry this tray of glasses to the bar and work on an apology for you?” His green eyes filled with mirth, both of you enjoying this small pissing match.

“Much obliged.” You dumped the tray in his unsuspecting hands and he stumbled to keep it upright. Some of his fellow aviators cheered you, amused by the exchange. You made your way behind the bar as he handed you the tray, “Sorry for sticking it ya...” He pondered off, massaging the back of his neck, “Didn’t know you were behind me, I wouldn’t have gone so far back if I did.”

“To be fair, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“If I ask for refills would that ruin the apology?” He grins sheepishly.

You barked out a laugh, “What if I charge you double for your beers and consider it even?”

“Sold!”

He skimmed you over one more time. “Can I get your name on the side?” Silence fell between you two as you reached for the beers. He leaned on the bar, relaxing as he drew everyone's gaze towards him.

You let out a small laugh, deciding to toy with him a bit. "Callsign?" He knotted his brows together, "Hangman." You bobbed your head. "Top Gun graduate?" He nodded once again. You leaned in next to his ear, your voice quiet, "Piece of advice, Lieutenant….” You glanced into his eyes, whispering, “You might not want to hit on the daughter of the vice-admiral."

You didn't typically pull out your dad's rank, but this time it was worth it. His mug slipped, paling slightly. "They call me little Simpson. But hush,” You dragged a finger over your lips, “This is a secret between you and me.” You gave a small smirk. "Here are your beers sir," He didn't say another word as he toddled back towards his table, his crowd hollering at his stupefied disposition.

The sun had just started to set, disappearing behind the horizon and you called Penny for your break. You tucked away your apron as she took over, pumping cocktails and drinks out with ease. “I’m heading down to the shore for a bit, I missed California sunsets.”

“Remember, I need you back in 15!” She called after you, too occupied flirting.

The sand was warm and the breeze was gentle. Allowing yourself to unwind as you sit in the sand, resting your head on your knees, you listened to the hustle and bustle of the bar in back of you. Your aunt had run the bell and someone just got thrown overboard. You watched as the same aviator from before was one of the few that carried the old-timer out.

You still couldn’t place him but decided to let it go. You could ask Penny about it later.

A familiar tune of piano keys causes your spine to straighten. Nausea twisted itself in your stomach as goosebumps peppered your skin. You stood up, listening for his voice as he started singing, still incapable to believe it unless you see him.

You peeked, treading cautiously towards the window.

And there he was.

Sitting at the piano bench, singing the same song Carole hummed in the kitchen when she babysat you. His fingers danced on the keys as he commanded the room, bobbing his head as he sang. He had a fuller build, aviators sloped on his nose with an open Hawaiian shirt. The same one Carole said he could wear once he was old enough for it to fit him.

Dread spread through your limbs as time stalled. Penny would understand if you left now. You’d just have to run in and grab your things. You’d be gone before he noticed you.

The hesitation only worsened when he raised his eyes and that confidence was taken over by surprise. It was only a second but it was enough to jerk you into action. Descending into the crowd, you concealed yourself between bodies as you escaped towards the back to grab your keys.

The song wasn’t quite finished yet. He kept up his performance and you didn’t have it in you to match him today. “Penny—”

“Go. I know now isn’t the time.” You embraced her tightly, swearing to drop by tomorrow and complete your shift, but right now you needed to go, and having a face-off with the man who broke your heart isn’t what you needed. Maybe later, but not now, it would be too much.

The air hit your flushed cheeks, catching your breath from the sudden intrusion. You glanced up one more time before trekking to your car, watching him bask in the ambiance of the crowd cheering him on, arms spread out to take in the energy. It didn’t last long before his gaze set itself on you, making his way through the crowd with a smile. Anyone would miss it, but you weren’t anyone. His face was tight and he walked stiffer than his usual gait.

You hadn’t seen Bradley Bradshaw since you were 26, and before that, since you were 18. You’d been raised together since you could remember.

It was now or never, you could spilt at the last moment and very evidently run or you could hesitate and let him catch up to you.

Whatever options you had evaporated as the door opened. It moved slowly, and you held your breath.

In that moment you felt foolish, why did you need to hide? He was the one that left you that morning. He was the one that didn’t answer your phone calls and refused to reach out. Outrage simmered in your throat as you felt it flush in your ears. Why hide when you could bury the hatchet here and let him have it?

He slowed as he got nearer as if he could never reach you no matter how far or fast he walked. He dangled his aviators on the neck of his tank, gathering himself. His gaze followed you up and down, leaving a burn wherever you felt his stare.

“Bradley ‘The Brave’ Bradshaw.” You spat.

He winced narrowly at your tone. Wonder steeling his bones as he was rendered speechless.

“How was the last…what? Decade? It’s been almost a decade since I’ve seen you. Phew time just flies. Doesn’t it?” You folded your arms over your chest, standing at attention as he just stared.

He didn't talk for a while. Breathing as he thought, chewing his bottom lip, just like he always did when he was unsure what to say.

“Good talk.” You headed for your car before he grasped your wrist, a gentle tug but one loaded with desperation. “I…” He paused again.

"Fuck, I don't know what to say." He rubbed his forehead, taking a swig of his beer. "I mean, I didn't have time to prepare a script and all." He motioned around, catching his failed attempt at a laugh.

"I'm sorry." He blurted. You both stood dumbfounded, just in surprise at each other's company. "I should've written, or texted, or emailed. I shouldn't have…." He trailed off as if shame carried his voice away.

“Oh wow. He thinks too. Isn't that convenient?” Your biting remark was followed by a snort, “Apology not accepted. It was shitty of you to leave me like that, knowing what was going on and deciding I wasn’t worth even a goodbye. You didn’t even say goodbye Bradley.”

Tears lined your eyes as bitterness warmed you, “I thought I wouldn’t be so mad at you after all these years. Believed that if I ran right now I could put it behind me but no…the years we spent together meant nothing when you left like that.” Your voice hardened with your resolve.

His grasp slackened on your wrist, “Then why did you come back? Thought you would’ve had the wedding by now.” He cocked his head to the side, aggravating you in the process.

“No.” You spit the words out, “Called the engagement off when he said my mother’s illness wasn’t worth the trouble.” Bradley stood dumbstruck, mouth gaping like a fish out of water. It wasn’t often Bradley lost his composure, he had to be able to keep his head on tight if he was flying a jet. In this moment, he felt ill. He didn’t even know.

“She’s…She’s sick?”

You puffed out air, understanding that while you may seething, Bradley still cared for your mother. She took him in when Carole passed and Pete left him with nothing but a dim future. As much as you hated him, you understood that hearing about your mother's illness hurt. He loved her like family and he didn’t have much of that left.

“Bye Bradley.” You shook him off as he trailed after you, this time a bit brisk.

“What do you mean she's sick? Is it a cold, is it the flu?” Panic rested in his eyes as he scrutinized at you. Scanning your face for answers.

Your eyes bore into the asphalt. “It’s stage four Bradley.” You said feebly, the topic weighing you down as if sandbags had been placed on your shoulders, “The doctor said there might be a chance but we don’t know yet.”

He stood rigid, processing this information as grief seized his throat. Squeezing tight until he could barely speak. “I-I didn’t know or else I would’ve…”

“Would’ve what? Finally, called? You cut me off and I made do with it, but my mother? She loved you like one of her own and you just left.”

He rubbed his face. Palms shielding his eyes as he took a few breaths in, “At the time, I couldn’t have stayed. You may not understand why but I couldn’t stay.”

“Or you just didn’t want to.” His eyes shot up towards you, “You know that isn’t why I left. You know damn well.”

“No, I don’t. I woke up the next morning with nothing but your old pair of aviators and some dog tags. The bed was cold and I was alone.” You both had a stare-off, clearly oblivious of what the other was thinking.

You just puffed and watch as Bradley stood there, in all his aviator glory, allowing the anger that filled your body to tide you in. Electricity pooled into your palms and you tried not to slap him, all you could process was that anger, just anger anger anger. It was all you had that wasn’t grief.

Whether he was here or not, it didn't matter. You were too cross to articulate any of it. Years of bottled emotions popping open before you could process them. Stillness suspended itself in the air again, gripping both of you by the neck.

“I need to go.” You said firmly, “I just… I can't handle you right now. Not now.”

Slipping into your car, you give him one last look. He was impassive, closing himself off so he didn’t have to process it.

It wasn’t your problem anyway, you just needed to get home.

[tatasoom]

Never have I thought... Last Twilight turned out to be that good that I would like to write not prediction and not bl-related things, but about a thing we all know so damn well - family.

There're two types of comments that makes me sad:

about Day's mother not understanding Day and his love

about Day hating Night too much

I've already written about my parents getting divorced at the same age of mine as Day was. But what if I told you that I also have an older brother, stories of father cheating on mother and a mother always busy with work?..

Take a seat, dear readers, thank you for your attention, I'll try to make it easy to read and maybe put some pictures. I'll tell you what's real in this series and why my heart hurts for all of them!

First of all let me tell you why Day's father hasn't become a problem and later Day even talked to him nicely. I mean REALLY NICELY. The answer is lack of feelings in Day. You can't hate person you barely able to love. You can't be hurt enough by someone you barely remember.

That man cheated on their mother, that man didn't provide his own two children even with food, but all of this exists as a story once told to Day. He loves the idea of being kinda loved by his biological parent, because we all want to be wanted and needed, but the father we've seen in that last two episodes is a stranger we're all getting to know with Day.

Let's leave this man living his life full of regrets and talk about Day's mother. She is THE MOTHER. As we know she discovered being cheated when Day was three (or maybe earlier?), left her propably hometown and spent another two years dealing with a need to divorce. Night was around ten or even less that time. She was maybe thirty. No food, no money and only three of them as she mentioned when giving Mhok a house tour.

And Day's mother actually survived and even succeed. I like the actress chosen for this role. She's beautiful. She looks gorgeous every time we see her. She also must be smart and charismatic to be a famous chef. And still there're only three of them. After around fifteen years (or even more) this absolutely stunning woman is still a single mother of two.

This woman made a fortress that supposed to keep safe from any heartbreak. And this fortress has it's rules.

Have you heard anything about Night's girlfriends? He's already mature enough to have a girlfriend or even a wife. And do you understand now why I think that the fear in Day's eyes everytime Mhok flirts with him at home probably has very little with a sexual orientation?..

The whole family has TRUST ISSUES. Their mother is their leader of course.

So you say that the mother with her trust issues (and social status and financial stability) should understand that Mhok loves her son. Okay, Mhok for her:

Young man, something around the age of her older son. Spent a year in prison. Has no relatives. Is an employee in her house. Didn't talk to him much.

Now tell this woman she needs to be happy her younger blind son is dating Mhok. And wants to be with him. Live together, have his own family. After all these tough years when there're only three of them and the reason for that was her being cheated by someone she loved. Tell her to trust in love. Tell her she needs to trust Mhok.

You can tell this woman to get therapy and then talk to her son(s) and you will be absolutely right. However people usually don't act right when dealing with their strongest emotions and I can't imagine this woman being less than heartbroken in the next episode.

Also need to say that being a single mother of two sounds like a choice between spending time with children and spending time making money for these children. And it's true. I also blamed my mother for not being in my life when dealing with different sh*t.

I was being bullied for a year and all my mother did was making me to change school after the year ended. She never been there when I was coming home with eyes full of tears. Oh, and before that year I even had an accidental (not car accident) eye trauma. Yeah, really, I'm not lying. My eye never recovered fully and I spent a week with a vision similar to Day's one. But it's okay now. I was around twelve back then.

So what about Night? Don't you think Day hates him too much? It's not a big deal to use Night to get to Songkhla and just not speak to him there at all, right? Why being so dramatic?

I remember a couple years ago my older brother was asked by my mother to help me with some renovations in the apartment I live in. That night we argued that hard that I left my only home in the whole big city and refused to come back until he left it. It was around 5AM. I spent that night in a park.

So if you think Day can't be mad at Night after that car accident without more valid reason, you need to ask yourself what Day felt for Night before the accident. And the simplified answer is love.

It's only the closest ones that can hurt you the most.

It would be really nice to know more about Day and Night's childhood, teen years. I'm sure mother always told them they need to be together and help each other and be kind to each other. The boys for sure was annoyed, but they care of each other so damn much. The goldfish "Little Day" is still alive after all.

After such a betrayal from a man mother can only trust her sons she raised herself. She taught them to trust her, to trust each other. That's why Night used to be the main caregiver for Day. He was the only person the mother could trust as much as she trusts herself.

Meanwhile Day learned that the only way to have some mother's time is to be the better son. Maybe his mother can't be with him regularly, but she wil definitely come to see him playing, right? Day and Night managed to compete for mother's time and attention without even realizing it.

I actually tend to tell everyone that my mother loves my brother more, even though I try to be less troublesome and more mature. I even complained to my friends about the need to take care of my older brother like he's the younger one.

I feel something like grief looking at Day's family. Their relationships and their personalities are like an aftershock of something happened years ago. And maybe it's not even a divorce.

Time actually heals. For Day and Mhok and Day's mother's relationship this time will start the moment she will be told about them. For Day and Night's relationship this time will start the moment Day get a stable zero vision and start learning to live in a new reality. I also hope we won't get eye donation from father/brother/mother/Mhok or I won't trust screenwriters ever again.

The family needs to see each other. And for that they actually don't need eyes.

If you're reading this you're my hero!

Thank you so much for reading this brainrot. I questioned myself whether all of this needs to be written, but decided to spit my thoughts out. Sometimes these writings help to analyse not only the characters, but myself. That's good.

[incorrect-murderdrones]

ANDDD WE HAVE A QUOTE MASTERPOST! ALL QUOTES BELONG TOO: @the-island-of-quotes HAVE FUN AND FOLLOW THAT PERSON :D -Mod Kai

N: This is what Victor would look like if he was doctor Seuss.

Uzi: There's a socket in my pocket, maybe this will help me fix my sprocket.

Uzi: It's not a 5, or a 6, or a 10, I have seem to have lost all of those again.

Uzi: And when it comes to wrenches, it seems all of them have disappeared off my fucking work benches.

Uzi: So even though there is a socket in my pocket I can't even use it to fix my fucking sprocket

*Next day*

Uzi: Another tool another day, I dropped some more shit in this fucking engine bay.

Uzi: But it's okay because I bought this car to get from point A to point B.

Uzi: And after one week of ownership I'm kinda hoping this thing gets crushed by a fucking tree.

Uzi: I've wanted to sell this car since week one, but nobody wants to buy it when it has every problem under the sun.

Uzi: This car will just remain broken and collect some dust, and eventually this piece of shit will start collecting rust.

Uzi: But at this point I don't really care! I have the time, nor money or energy to try and repair.

Uzi: I'm just gonna say fuck this, and sell this shit on craigslist to some guy named Chris.

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V: I now proudly present, the life and times of earnest Hemingway in aproxamently 3 and a half minutes. GO! Born in Chicago in 1899, son of a physician and a musician, reasonably uneventful childhood, decided to study Journalism. Enlisted with the Red Cross during World War I, got BLOWN up in Milan and spent 6 months in hospital with severe shrapnel wounds in both legs. Fell in love with a nurse, they decided to get married. He came home to prepare, she stayed there and ditched him for an Italian soldier, which initiated a life long pattern of him rejecting women before they had a chance to reject him. Got a job as a foreign correspondent, fell in love with his roommates' sister, married her and moved to Paris. They hung out with Gertrude Stein. They kicked it with Pablo Picasso. He started writing in earnest, no pun intended. Moved to Toronto, had a kid, moved back to Paris, published a couple of books. Cheated on his wife, got divorced, married the other woman. Converted to Catholicism... Cut his head open after pulling on a cord thinking he was flushing a toilet and instead ripped a skylight from the roof and smashed it onto HIS FACE! Moved to Kansas City, had another kid, his dad committed suicide, he shot a lot of bears for some reason. Had a car accident, had another kid, went to Africa to kill some wild animals and got dysentery karma! Published another book, moved to Cuba, SHOT HIMSELF IN THE LEG WHILST AIMING AT A SHARK! Cheated on his wife, got divorced, married the other woman. Published "For Whom the Bell Tolls," sold half a million copies in a couple of months and got nominated for a Pulitzer Prize. Cheated on his wife, got divorced, married the other woman. Became the self appointed leader of a band of village Militia outside of Paris and was subsequently brought up on charges for contravening the Geneva Convention, and GOT AWAY WITH IT LIKE A FUCKING CHAMPION! Got pneumonia, moved back to Cuba and spent most of his spare time on his boat TRACKING NAZI U-BOATS WITH A MACHINE GUN AND A PILE OF HAND GRENADES I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP! Had a few more car accidents, three more concussions, got CLAWED WHILE PLAYING WITH A LION... Got depressed, drank. Got fat, published a couple more books, went back to Africa to shoot some more wild animals, and barely survived two separate plane crashes in the space of 24 hours, winding up with a fractured skull, internal bleeding, cracked spine, ruptured liver, first degree burns, and a paralyzed sphincter muscle karma! Won a Nobel Prize, had a file opened on him by J. Edgar Hoover, left a bunch of shit in a safe in Cuba and moved to Idaho, paranoid that the feds were following him WHICH THEY WERE BECAUSE HE SPENT MOST OF THE 1940S WORKING FOR THE KGB, AGAIN NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP! Suffered from hepatitis, nephritis, hypertension, hemochromatosis, anemia and impotence, karma. Got committed, received way too much electroconvulsive therapy and came out all fucked up, started hinting at suicide so immediately got recommitted, received another couple of months worth of electroconvulsive therapy, got released, put both barrels of his favorite 12-gauge shotgun into his mouth and BLEW HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF! WHAT A GUY!

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N: Welcome to applebees! What'll it be? Apples or bees? Congrats, you get bees!!!

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Doll: Now that I've added the milk to the cereal tell me, is that milk now a beverage, a broth, or a sauce? Answer carefully Khan, you're wife's life depends on it!

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Uzi: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true whoever is controlling my Sim I JUST WANNA TALK!!

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N: Do you think god stays in heaven because he too fears what he's created? That's a quote from Spy Kids 2 have you ever seen it it's like peak cinema.

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Uzi: Who needs sleep when you run on equal parts NyQuil and Methamphetamine?

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V: Just remember Uzi people die when they are killed!

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V: Ha! You're pointless!

Doll: Thirty nine buried.

*Gunshot*

Doll: Zero found

______________________________________________________________

N: Which one of you was gonna tell me tea tastes different if you put in hot water?

Uzi: Y- you we're putting it in cold water???????

V: N. Answer the question N!

N: Yeah??? I thought for like five years people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process, didn't realize there was an actual reason.

J: You don't have the patience to microwave water for three minutes??

Doll: Why are you. Putting it in the microwave to boil it?

J: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Doll: It takes less than a minute!

J: Doll is your stove powered by the fucking sun!?

Doll: How long does it take to boil a cup of water on your stove?

J: LIKE SEVEN MINUTES!

Doll: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in two minutes, less if you use a saucepan.

Lizzy: Crying your putting the whole mug on the stove??? On medium heat??? Your stove is enchanted!

Uzi: Every drone in this exoplanet is a fucking idiot.

Cyn: DO NONE OF YOU OWN A FUCKING KETTLE!?!?! REMEMBER TO FOLLOW: @the-island-of-quotes AS THEY OWN THESE QUOTES :D

[honeylemony]

"his wife liberally uses the n word" That's bullshit. She used it in one song a decade ago as a quote and she has long since apologized for it and doesn't perform it anymore. Gaiman fans should've listened to what Amanda Palmer has been saying (and NOT saying) since Neil abandoned her and their 4-year-old son in New Zealand during the early days of COVID lockdown. He literally broke lockdown and flew half way around the world. Amanda's world collapsed. He left his son on the other side of the planet. He didn't see either of them again for nearly 10 months. He risked NEVER seeing them again. (This was March/April 2020. Long before vaccines. When people were dying by the thousands every day.) He did something unforgivable, Amanda found out about it, he left and she hasn't been "allowed" to talk about it since. But if you'd followed her writing and her songs, you'd know it was something ugly and horrifying that tipped her life upside down. Now the truth has come out. GOOD. But you all should pay more attention to the women in your fave mens lives. Listen to the women who know them and believe them. None of his fans gave a shit as long as Good Omens was getting another season. He divorced his first wife (mother of his three eldest kids) and she has been silent ever since. He moved his second wife (16 years his junior) out to a secluded house in the country away from all her friends and family after they married. And she's not been "allowed" to speak about what happened in New Zealand for the past 4 years. Guess why. Listen to her recent song 'Whakanewha' (from her EP 'New Zealand Survival Songs'.) Read the lyrics. This shit was KNOWN. But his fans didn't want to see. They even celebrated when the news dropped that he and Amanda were getting divorced "Does this mean we can all stop pretending we like her?" I remember that vividly. I remember thinking 'wow. rich famous white men can really get away with anything and still be worshipped and women will not only side with the men but will happily trample and spit on other women to get to these asshole men.' It has made me sick and angry to see his name trend on Tumblr these past few years. I send many of his biggest sycophants messages telling them about what he'd done. All ignored. None cared. The worship continued. I wish I could say this news feels like vindication. But it doesn't. It just makes me feel even angrier. I've wanted to punch Neil Gaiman in the face for years for the many lives he's ruined. I hope someone bigger than me finally does it.

Warning for repeated and enthusiastic use of racial slurs

How about they're both shitty people. You're as biased about your fave as the NG dickriders are

[ultraericthered]

King Magnifico: Reimagining A Good Baddie Into Disney Villain Excellence.

I did not plan on doing another post about King Magnifico but dammit, the man just compells me. Since I recently drafted a revision treatment for the story of Wish, dubbed The Fully Fulfilled Edition, and it got me thinking more about Magnifico and the iteration of the character that I envisioned for my version of Disney's sentimental centennial tale. I've covered the troubles with the finalized official Disney character enough times already; I feel like the handling of his character and execution of his role as the story's villain was like a basketball wobbling along the rim before falling through the basket rather than a straight slam dunk. He's easily the most well-realized, enticing, entertaining, and developed character of the whole picture, the only one who comes close to being three-dimensional. But even he could've been better. If all the kinks were to have been ironed out in him, what might that actually end up looking like in practice?

Note that for this undertaking, I did not want to super drastically alter Magnifico's character to the point where he'd become completely divorced from what we got in the film and just be Magnifico in name only. I make just enough expansions, alterations, and fixes necessary to turn what I find good enough into what I'd consider truly great.

For starters, his tragic origin story being told to us upfront right out the gate helps to clear the air early into the picture, when we've not yet met King Magnifico but are given the background information of the man who became King Magnifico, wed Queen Amaya, and built the kingdom of Rosas. In my take on the backstory, the young would be-King Magnifico's family lived in a harbor town, working slavishly on what's implied to be export and trade. It's said that one day the young man, wanting his family to be happier and have more time for him, made a wish upon a totem for his family's burdens to be lifted. Well, that ended up being a vague wish that in a way did come true, as the town was soon attacked by a band of greedy marauders. In the storybook images the town would be shown going up in green flames as young Magnifico takes a boat to survival. Unfortunately, the boat ended up getting wrecked landing on a desert island, and the story would tell us that the youth lost everything he had in the wreck...even though he'd clearly be holding onto something in the accompanying picture. It is then said that Magnifico understood well the value and the danger a wish can hold, which inspired him to learn the arts of sorcery and magic that can extract a heart's deepest and most precious wish as a tangible substance held within a magic orb. Eventually he and the loyal wife he'd married built a great kingdom on that very island Magnifico had landed on, the kingdom of Rosas, where the citizens wishes are given, protected, and granted in the benign rule of Magnifico and Amaya, the "long lived" king and queen.

With that backstory and the reasons for why Magnifico founded Rosas and created the wish giving system established, the first in-universe look at the king we're given is in statues, in murals, in his face painted in various locations, even in the cookies Dahlia bakes. The face looks very kind, dignified, wisened, majestic, and above all gorgeously handsome. His presence is also subtly felt in what we'd be shown of the average Rosas citizens - some who are overly happy and enthused in a very cult-like manner and some who are only half-awake and half-heartedly trying to stay into it. This is heavily implicit as being a result of the system and society in Rosas, where the happier people are the ones who've had their wishes granted or have such good standing with the royals that they feel they're likely to have their wishes granted in the near future, while the lethargic ones are those who've given their wishes away, cannot remember what they even were to start with, and have been tirelessly waiting for when the time comes for Magnifico to grant them in a wish ceremony.

So then when we’re properly introduced to King Magnifico after all the build-up, it'd be immediately striking how the appearance of the man himself doesn't quite measure up to what we'd seen depicted in the kingdom's arts and crafts. We were told he's beloved by all, yet the man we meet here would come off very...Stephen Strange-ish. He'd be very smarmy, disgrunted, irrate and patronizing towards Asha, visibly or verbally condescending to her and treating her like a silly, hapless child who he doesn’t believe will attain the position. However, he is coming off of another interview that ended poorly, so we think maybe he's just in a sour mood and we shouldn't assume too badly of him. If we hold onto hope for his better nature to win out, it seems to pay off when he appears to empathize with Asha after she's told him of her deceased father and all the ways in which he'd inspired her to dream big and to love Rosas; it's almost like the king sees some of his younger self in Asha, and through that, he's able to recognize that she could be a good fit for the job of working for him as his apprentice, someone he can shape into being more like him and following his ways. He'd do the "I too suffered great loss at a young age due to the selfish wishes and actions of greedy thieves and built Rosas as a place where that would not happen" thing like in the movie, but not only do we understand that more due to having been given the whole backstory, it'd also be more noticeable just how...calculated it feels. Like, Magnifico might as well say "I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Y'know, my late son, Beau..."., y'know those shows of pseudo-empathy that political leaders love to do.

Once Asha has the job and returns to the castle for her first day of apprenticeship, King Magnifico would show us that oh no, this guy might actually be worse than we'd thought he was before. He's now in full Handsome Jack from Borderlands mode, acting more giddy and animated because he just loves his apprentice's first days where he can "dazzle them with all his splendor, and win over all of their love and devotion and appreciation for all his royal duties." And he just acts completely unkind and insensitive to Asha, making her do all sort of minor chores the way Lady Tremaine would do to Cinderella. He lets Asha into his sanctum of wishes, where he holds, juggles, balances and caresses some of the various wishes in a way that seems unsettlingly possessive, akin to how Mother Gothel stroked Rapunzel’s golden hair, and as he does he sings these words:

If happiness was a tangible thing, it would be you If you'd have told me the feeling you'd bring, I'd think it untrue And people search for a wonder like you all of their lives You still amaze me after all this time You pull me in like some kind of wind Mesmerized by the hold I'm in Leave you here, I don't wanna I wanna promise as one does I, I will protect you at all costs Keep you safe here in my arms I, I will protect you at all costs At all costs

Then the shoe drops. Magnifico reveals that he doesn't just collect these wishes to safeguard them and grant them in ceremonies: he uses the magical blessings cast upon the wishes as means of keeping his own magic powers charged every day, and it's also how he has sustained such slow aging and long living for himself and his wife. Yes, the royals feed off of the souls of their own subjects in order to keep their lifespan going, with the wishes extracted from the beautiful innermost part of those souls serving as convenient battery power for them. Unnerved as this makes Asha feel, the subject of a long life span naturally calls her almost 100 year old grandfather to mind, and she makes the dreaded "nepotism favor" request that the king consider granting Sabino’s wish at the ceremony. Magnifico, disappointed but not surprised, declines this request, rationalizing the wish could be too vague and might pose a threat to the kingdom. Asha then realizes Magnifico intends to never grant most of these wishes yet refuses to return the ungrantable wishes to their owners. She openly questions the king, telling him it's unreasonable of him to keep the most beautiful part of his subjects very selves from them if he truly has no inclination to ever grant them with his magic, and he should return those wishes to their owners so that they'll remember them and gain the drive to at least try to work towards fulfilling them themselves. Magnifico lashes out at her in fury ("I decide what everyone deserves!") and as consequence we get the ceremony where Magnifico pulls the spiteful fake-out with the wish granting just to shame and humiliate Asha, and let her know that her family's wishes will be kept by him forever, never to be granted. Also just barely noticable in the same scene would be that Magnifico reveals the wish of the person he grants it to and how it had been worded, but what he gives is notably a distorted alteration of the original wish. For all his high horsing about "be careful what you wish for, wishes worded too vaguely might go wrong when granted and that's too much of a danger risk", he himself exploits vaguely phrased wishes in order to twist them into something with benefits to the kingdom, his rule, and his image. For years, he's really only been using this system of wishes to make his own wishes come true, and has been routinely dishonest and hypocritical about it as he defrauds his people, committing theft by deception. What a self-obsessed bastard.

After Asha's made her wish to the stars and called Star down to Rosas, Magnifico and Amaya, having witnessed the wave of magic it brought, fear an unknown magic source that might threaten their kingdom and the hold they have on all the magic and wishes, but they find no answers in their books and scrolls to what this strange light might be. Magnifico starts acting furiously paranoid, remarking about how much he hates craven thieves and traitors. Due to how things went over with Asha, she is his primary suspect who he fears is now out to usurp his power and might not even be acting alone. As he starts to be overcome by desperation, Magnifico turns to his tome of forbidden dark magic and goes to unseal it. Fortunately for him, Amaya remains level-headed and is able to talk him out of it, to which he gives a very transparently half-hearted "thanks", followed by the "I am a handsome king" bit when Amaya tells him that, as they cannot baselessly accuse and arrest Asha for treason, they use the people’s love of him as their monarch to get them to reach the truth for them.

Of course, during the briefing with the public, people start asking how and why their wishes might now be in danger, which leads to questions about why Magnifico established the system the way that he did, which leads to deeper questioning such as why everything in Rosas is so tailored towards the king despite his role being to protect and provide for the people - like, why does the king need to have his handsome face plastered everywhere? When everyone feels the next wave of magic from Star’s evolution, it proves definitively what Magnifico told them: that this magic didn’t come from him, and that only creates a sense of disillusionment among the people. A furious Magnifico warns of a traitor within the kingdom conspiring to use this magic to steal all wishes and topple the monarchy, who must be found and punished, and that a wish will be freely granted to anyone who identifies this person. Then he shuts the doors back into his castle, frantically pacing about and looking to see if the magic came from somewhere within. Visibly aggitated, Amaya tries to soothe her petulant husband urging him to calm his mind and cheer himself up by gazing at his reflection in the mirrored walls. Which leads to....

"This Is The Thanks I Get" (Revised version)!

In between the second chorus and the bridge, Magnifico walks in front of the forbidden magic tome and vocalizes that in his years long reign, he has been far too soft on his people, spoiling them into becoming greedy, entitled ingrates who are all no better than thieves, so he needs to harden his heart and exercise more power “for their own good”, to tighten his grip over Rosas and preserve his power. So he unseals the book, opens it up, and gains power from its corruptive influence. And he made sure to do this when his wife wasn't around to stop him from doing so. This was his choice. He wanted this. In his desperation to not let his power over Rosas slip from him, he turned to what he knew as wrong primarily for the convenience of it enabling him to shed anything within himself that was restraining him before, and to grant to him more destructive, awesome power to squash all dissent with. This is what takes him from "big jerk" to "true villain."

After being told by Simon that Asha was indeed responsible for Star's summoning and has been plotting against him, Magnifico goes to Asha's family's home and assaults Sabino and Sakina with magic that’s holding them down when Asha and Star return. Declaring he must arrest the whole family for both high treason and harboring a criminal, Magnifico also takes time to relish some cruelty towards Asha, not only stepping on Sabino's already broken lute in front of her but bringing out Sakina’s wish and using his new dark power to shatter it in his grip, making Sakina reel in agony as the energy from her wish, a sacred part of her soul, gets absorbed into Magnifico’s black magic. Realizing how much power he can claims from the wishes delights the vainglorious monarch, who says had he known this, he would've broken wishes ages ago! So now Magnifico has a singular goal: to absorb the magic of both Star and all the wishes in order to become an all-powerful tyrant, motivated purely by pride, spite, desire for retribution and control, and the power high he's on.

Forging his new dark magic scepter, Magnifico addresses the public once more, revealing the traitor to be Asha and Simon to be the one to sell her out under the promise of having his wish granted. But be careful what you wish for, Simon! Magnifico twists the wish once again ("to be the king’s greatest, bravest and most loyal knight"), this time using his new dark magic to bewitch and brainwash him into a magitech knight. Magnifico then puts out the reward of another wish granting ceremony for the wish of whichever of his subjects helps the knights capture Asha and Star, with the added threat that the longer it takes for them to be captured, the more wishes he will break so that no one may get their wishes granted in the end, which makes the masses erupt into carnage and division between the fearful but still adoring loyalists to the king, and those who see this is not right and want no part in it. To quell this disorder, Magnifico unleashes more magic, desecrating the area and putting lives at risk, prompting a distraught Amaya to suggest he reign himself in better, and to her surprise, Magnifico points his staff at her, telling her to never again second-guess him or give him orders or else. He then orders all dissenters to be rounded up and thrown in the dungeon. So it's pretty clear by now that Magnifico is far gone, and this time the needless "looking for a way to save Magnifico from the thrall of the dark magic only to learn it can't be done" plot point is omitted, as this Amaya knows from the get-go that once you open the book and read from it even once, your addiction to the power it grants is unbreakable.

At the climax of the story, King Magnifico ascends the castle’s tower, sucks the life out from every wish that has been released into the night sky through his sanctum's open ceiling, and absorbs it all, sending droves of people in the kingdom into agonizing pain, anguish and despair. With no wishes to charge himself with, he gleefully traps Star in his scepter to act as the new living magical battery for his power. He thanks Star and Asha for how they've challenged his rule, because if they hadn't, he'd not have ever learned how much more gratifying it was to take all that he wants rather than "pretend to care and lightly snack on the magic of those wishes only in desperate moments". Asha's attempts to stop him are easily overpowered, as he then KO's his wife with a magic blast for her betrayal, then uses his dark magic to block out the sky so that the citizens never again may wish upon stars, then creates magical chains from out of the ground that bind all the citizens in place, and when the knights rush to stop their mad king, he not only chains them too, but unleashes waves of dark magic that set Rosas ablaze with green fire, madly declaring that he will oppress the disspirited masses forevermore: "No more hope, no more dreams, no escape, no chance to rise up, no one to tell any tales, and no one to challenge me ever again! And I would gladly rather see my great kingdom burn and crumble to Rosas' soil than give up this awesome power I so majestically wield!"

What happens next...well, you all probably know that by now.

So that's Magnifico's progression as the villain in my revision of Wish, but there's one last tiny yet hugely significant touch I'd add to fully bring his character together. A little before the big climax, Amaya would make reference to the fact that sealing the forbidden black magic inside “that heirloom” was among the first fundamental cornerstones of Rosas, but Magnifico has now totally backtracked on that and betrayed his oath to his people and their wishes. Hearing the book called an "heirloom" and then looking back at the storybook images of Magnifico's origin story at the start of the film makes the two pieces click together. That tome of forbidden magic belonged to Magnifico's family, the marauders sought it out and opened it up, which is what actually set the town ablaze, Magnifico took it with him as he fled to the boat, and it was the only thing he had that survived the boat's wreckage onto the shores of what would become Rosas. Throughout the story, Magnifico would have lines expressing his disdain for "thieves", "traitors", "cowards", "ingrates", and "weaklings". ...But this did not really come from just his trauma with the thieves. It's because he felt as though he himself, as a youth, was all of those things. He was a thief who stole his family's book, he was a traitor for making that vague wish that brought the marauders there, he was a coward and an ingrate for fleeing and leaving his family to burn, and he was a weakling for lacking the power to stop any of that from occurring and get things under control. To us on the outside looking in, it's easy to see how irrational it is for Magnifico to blame himself like that and have such self-loathing for boyhood mistakes and things beyond his control that were not really his fault. But tragically, no one ever told him this, not even Amaya. So what drove Magnifico forward in life was a pathological need to change his self image, to become someone greater and more powerful than that thieving little coward, to assert himself as the height of perfection, someone who could be loved and who could love himself in turn. He needed to be a king, for back in the day, a king was considered the only flesh and blood mortal human on Earth close to or secondary in power to the divinity of God Himself, for they had "the divine right to rule", the mandate of Heaven. So not only could Magnifico be that, but his magical power, the extension of his life via the wishes, and the system for taking the secret hopes, dreams, and prayers of the commonfolk to protect and decide which among them to grant, could put him that much closer to being a god among men. That is the core of what King Magnifico wanted; to feel like he was God, so as to erase his own inner pain over the fallability of being human. He was for years perpetually feeding his own power and ego, and yet it was never going to be enough. And he became so enthralled in his own God-and-Savior Complex, in playing at being the highest power in all the land, that he became a greedy, immoral, disruptive and destabilizing individual who brings suffering to the lives and wishes of others, like he'd once been the victim of; he became the very threat to Rosas that he’d been so wary of. And so, he got rewarded as such a threat deserves.

Dammit, now I'm low-key pissed at Disney! Say the line, Peridot!

[the-bjd-community-confess]

TW: Abusive friendships, mental health, emergency services, divorce, crime, substances

Toxic bjd friend anon update.

About 24 hours after my confession, I got fed up and picked a fight. She took the carefully crafted bait and ended up disowning me. Which was great, because idk what I would have done if she hadn't. I'm free! She still thinks it's her idea that she's out of my life, so she's left me alone. Turns out I have screenshots of her admitting to a felony. And a misdemeanor. Sadly the really good felony confession was an in person only event and the government already decided not to deal with that circus. (Felony under civilian law where we live, but military caught her. Victim didn't press charges and she claimed someone else did it.) If she tries to blackmail me, I can complicate things for her both crimally and civily. A few screenshots to the exhusband in progress (who's a disgrace of a human being, but legally the victim this time and trying to divorce her) and a report to a certain state agency, and her career is over. I didn't believe it then due to circumstances, but it lines up too well now. IDK if it's totally true, but the idiot did put in writing herself. If needed, I get along great with my local PD, in particular an officer who's dealt with similar idiocy before. My only regret is not lobbing a few insults back before we blocked each other. Sadly all the good responses occured to me the next morning and it helped the illusion. I did leave her a note thanking her for the trauma when I dropped off some stuff she'd left with me and kept a photo of it in case she tried anything. She's out of town so there's an enforced chill out period before we have to be near each other again. She's blocked so no more suicide attempts for dramatics. We called 911 on her the last time and even the cops didn't believe her- cancelled the ambulance and no involuntary holds, or even a warning for the self confessed drug DUI. Points for not traumating her farther, I guess? As long as I stay unreachable, it's not going to happen due to me or not my problem anymore. She has other friends now to traumatize. Notably, the only ones left are enablers/in love with her and us disowned folks stood up to her. 

I've got the energy to play with my dolls again and I'm making up for lost time. A doll clothing preorder happened to arrive a few days after this all went down, so there's been a lot of dressup. I'm customizing a playline doll into a character I've dreamed of for ages. Another bjd is finally getting some photography practice and I'm figuring out what I'm planning for the design of another. I'm starting to be able to focus long enough to do longer projects again, so hopefully I can get some clothes done. There's a backlog of things I really want to do but just couldn't. Not laziness- I would forget mid-stitch what I was doing or lose track of goals the second I tried to cut my fabric, even with a reference. Literally couldn't picture the next step or remember how to get there. I finally got my disaster of a bedroom cleaned for the first time in months, so the dolls have a nice place to be displayed. Physical health issues that defied blood test results resolved literally overnight after this, so I'm finally capable of doing more than survival/school/work now. Mental issues are uphill slowly, but in progress. I'm easing back into things with smaller projects, but hopefully I'll be able to do some bigger stuff soon too! Taking it slow though. I don't need burnout. I just need to get my life together and heal. 

I thought doing the hobby on my own would be lonely, but turns out it's just peaceful. I'm still trying to process the last three years, but I think things are going to be okay. The last week and few days has been the happiest, most peaceful week of my life since I was a child.  Ironically, due to the bait argument and what it would reveal, she can't even trash talk me too specifically without looking terrible.  I'm still being careful, but I think we're a lot more evenly matched than she had me believing. I'd love to make some less insane friends but I think I need some time to learn to be a healthy person. I don't want to accidentally continue this cycle. For now, I'm looking forward to a LOT of doll play time, catching up on sleep next to my kitty, and trying to build a future.

~Anonymous

Mod: Glad to hear such a happy update Anon! 💜

[skysometric]

A Special Bond

this one's extra hard to write.

we lost a second cat this year: our beloved Lily, the last of her family after her brother Smokey passed away in August. she died of kidney failure, a cat's equivalent of old age, on the day before Thanksgiving. much like with her brother, we loved her dearly and gave her the best care we could – no regrets.

Lily had a more serious demeanor compared to the rest of her family. born the runt of the litter with three brothers to fend off, she wasn't much interested in playing. instead, she preferred the thrill of a real hunt – catching all manner of bugs, mice, and birds to bring to our doorstep.

then she would proudly curl up in someone's lap and purr louder than anyone else in the house, leaning into every pet, asking for chin and tummy rubs. this is where she most showed her silly side, as she would clean herself and then forget to put her tongue away, sporting a big ol blep 💖

Lily started life as a very skittish and anxious cat, but mellowed out as she got older, growing more comfortable with being around other humans. but the one human she was never scared of… was me.

see, one day when i was a kid, a tuxedo tomcat showed up at my family's doorstep. you know the story – sometimes, a cat decides to adopt a human family, rather than the other way around. we named him Oscar, and when he grew more comfortable with us, he brought his girlfriend along; we named her Butterscotch.

by comparison, Butterscotch was less friendly, more wild. she would hide under our house, only coming out when we fed her, rarely but cautiously allowing us to pet her.

before we could afford to have them fixed, they had kids. and when they did, a miracle occurred.

we rushed outside when we heard the sound of Butterscotch giving birth. and when we did… she brought us each of her four kittens, one by one. despite her cautious nature, she trusted us!

my brother and i each grew attached to one of the kittens, and got to name them. he bonded with Smokey. i bonded with Lily. and our lives were changed forever.

we loved the other cats too, named them and took care of them. Butterscotch taught them how to hunt, Oscar taught them how to be friendly with humans. we had a big family of six wonderful cats!

but most of them didn't survive when we moved. two of them ran each other off before we moved, one ran away after we moved… and our new house had no space underneath, so Butterscotch was not happy with her new home, passing after a year or so.

the only two that survived, stayed with us through multiple moves, lived past 7 years old… were Smokey and Lily, who each lived to 16.

and now, in less than a year, both are gone.

it's hard, you know? these two cats defined my childhood. when i needed comfort before bed, they were there to cuddle. when i visited home from high school and college, they were happy to see me again. when i struggled with my parents' divorce, they were still my family. when my partner moved in with me, they treated her as family too.

we still have two other cats, both unrelated to the original family. but the house is so much emptier now.

now that Lily's gone, the weight of both of their deaths is fully sinking in. i know grief is a part of life… but i'm not sure i've ever had to carry so much grief at once. this is new to me.

and it's more than just the cats. this is symbolic. my entire family has moved on; my parents have divorced, my brother lives across the country. everything i knew from my childhood is now just a memory, and my memory isn't very good anymore. that's why i write things down.

i'm finally in a place where i can reckon with all of this loss… for so much of the last 10 years i've had to be in go, go, go mode to survive. here i finally am, with all these losses behind me, and i'm only now able to process it. all at once, my childhood has faded, and it's my turn to move on.

…so i want to build a new adulthood to be proud of. for how much they helped me grow, i think Lily and Smokey would be happy to see that.

[tina-mairin-goldstein]

So, I saw a post from ao3commentoftheday about talking to mulitshippers for more works with your rare pair tag, and I would love to elaborate on mine.

My two very rare pairs at the moment are Marvel MCU based: Ancient One/Kaecilius and Pepper Potts/Tony Stark/Stephen Strange. Allow me to introduce to the reasons I like these.

The Ancient One is a very underrated character without a lot of backstory! But we DO know she lived a very long life, and no one really knew her. We can easily assume this long life was lonely and hard. That she definitely lost everyone she ever knew and loved through illness, injury, and old age. Mordo stated that he didn't know much about her, that no one did.

I like giving her Kaecilius as a partner because he can relate. They cut it from the movies, so he seems like a stereotypical power-hungry villain, but he did the things he did because his son, and then his wife, both died, and he just wanted them back. He understands what it is to lose the people you love. His robes are also the ONLY ones we see in the movies that are the same color as TAO's, which indicates that they were equals in rank. So, no power imbalance to worry about if people are going to take it to that. No teacher taking advantage of her student. Maybe they aren't in it in for the long-haul, it isn't a deep all-consuming love, but they at least get an equal and someone who understands their pain out of the relationship. There are also many indications that they knew each other well before the rift between them. Now, that doesn't always mean a romantic relationship, but fandoms have shipped for less.

Bonus: TAO was confirmed to have seen the future, so she knew what would happen, but she chooses Kaecilius anyway, so they can both be happy and have companionship, at least for a short while. You get a doomed-by-the-narrative couple. Or an AU where they can find peace and healing in each other and find happiness again.

Moving on to Pepper Potts/Tony Stark/Stephen Strange.

I will be honest that I only know Tony and Pepper's relationship from the Avengers movies, as I haven't been able to watch the Iron Man movies, but I really like what I've seen.

Stephen is one of my favorite Marvel characters. He and Tony are similar in ways. Rich jerks whose lives get upended by devastating injuries. They have a lot in common they can bond over. And in Infinity War, we know Stephen saw 14,000,605 futures and only saw where they won. But we don't know what he considered winning, really. There could have been others where they 'won'. But Stephen is a doctor. We see him time and time again reference his oath to do no harm. He became a surgeon to save lives, and his own above all others. Tony reversing what Thanos had done and most everyone living could have been what he saw... But he didn't give the Time Stone up to Thanos immediately despite only seeing one future. He only did it when Thanos was killing Tony. The fandom has certainly latched onto this potential.

BUT what about Pepper? She and Tony survived rough times together, their relationship survived it. They are very much partners and in love. The fandom usually just casts Pepper aside with no explanation (did she die in the battle? Die giving birth? Did they get divorced? We don't know). She already loves Tony. She clearly cares for the people he cares about. So, if he cares about Stephen, it's not much of a stretch to say that she would care about him too. Plus, given the fact she loves Tony despite his less-than-pretty-history, she could totally love Stephen! From what I've seen, she is a caring person. Stephen saved Tony, which would at least get her to talk to him. He doesn't have many people. Things can go from there.

Why are we wasting a perfectly good F/M/M ship just so it's a traditional two-person couple? Why can't Morgan and Peter have THREE amazing parents who can teach them tech and magic? Why can't these three battle scarred people find love together?

That is my TED talk on my rare pairs. Thank you!

[averseunhinged]

tagged by @stars-and-darkness!

do i have about a thousand more 1/2-3/4 finished pieces of fan fiction, but ran out of room? glad you asked! let's not discuss it.

propaganda!

24/7 sylvia plath series (i would v much like to finish the next one in the series and then not think about this at all for at least a month) the original | several | other | snippets

s3 arranged marriage (which i'm rly pushing to finish the first half of this week, but am losing weds and probs thurs to travel, so you know. life.) snippet

dismantling a terrorist organization for fun and profit (also: an ode to pop music in four parts) snippet

batshit cosmic horror soulmates (there is genuinely something wrong in my brain) snippet

liz/carol closeted lesbians (was supposed to be for femslash february, but it's canon, and i cried writing the ending and didn't want to bring sad dead lesbian energy)

klaroline originals canon-divergence soulmates (so self-indulgent! a total comfort write for me. super long for a one shot and weirdly Hayley's pov)

post-tvdu canon caroline/rebekah (rebekah does the most normal thing she's ever done and gets a slightly salty divorce from marcel. then she does a less normal thing and falls for the woman her dead brother loved.)

blood sharing smutty literature ft. klaus classique (caroline makes a devil's bargain b/c i wanted to write something in the spirit of old school klaus)

dragon age obligatory post-trespasser (hawke survives being left in the fade b/c of the truth of the deal she made with mythal at the beginning of DA2, participates in the revolution. a tiny bit of hawke/solas, but mostly bittersweet hawke/varric.)

doctor/river/rose immortal marrieds (started with rose: oh hello. nice to meet y-- river: I'VE BEEN WAITING TO DO THIS FOR CENTURIES riverrose: suddenly making out, because i wanted river to have a NICE time loop for once in her life, and it's turned into a whole thing about the difficulties of three immortals being very married across two tardises and all of time and space.)

doctor/bad wolfy rose + time lady mia meditation on parenthood (i headcanon the time lord doctor and the metacrisis having the same telepathic signature. which i think would be super hard for mia. like can you imagine constantly thinking a beloved parent is with you before remembering they've been dead for centuries? and for the doctor to constantly feel like he has a daughter again, except he got the grief and torture package instead of the pleasant retirement universe? a delicious angsty but hopeful snacky.)

riverrose sekrit favrit crackship otp forever (i think it's probs likely that an all powerful cosmic entity trying to coexist with mortals without melting everyone's brains would have some struggles being present and making herself understood.)

[glasyasbutch]

playlist: the sloppy seconds au

its MY spotify profile and i'll make a serious playlist for a porn au of my d&d campaign if i WANT TO

link to playlist on spotify

explanations below the cut

ok before we get too into it. you're probably wondering. hey girl. why's it called the "sloppy seconds au". well.

ok anyways here's the playlist

1. In the Middle by Dodie

You said you're into closure, shake hands like you're supposed to / I'll be in the middle while you two get along / You've got so much in common, talk about your taste in women / I'll be in the middle while you two get along

To quote bekah, "enter kez, looking to be the filling in a big paladin sandwich"

This one's ALSO on the Daykez good ending playlist, mostly to represent the fact that this is an AU but only so barely. I described it as like that episode of Star Trek where there's two Voyagers existing at the exact same point in spacetime and they have to blow up one of the Voyagers in order for the other to survive. That's what was happening with sloppy seconds vs. the canon daybreak confession and sloppy seconds just happened to be the one that got blown up.

2. You're Sexy, I'm Sexy by Eric Nam

It could be simple as, it could be simple as / Loving on each other with no strings / It could be simple as, it could be simple as / We got more in common than you think / You're sexy, I'm sexy, You want me, I want you too / We all need somebody and mine is right here for you

wheeeeeee kez likes to have fun

3. Fuck Up the Friendship by Leah Kate

Let's fuck up the friendship, come, get in my head / Baby, cut the tension, I'm hung by a thread / Maybe it's something, but let's not pretend / Or maybe it's nothing and this is the end

daybreak, abnormal: yeah man let's both have sex with this person who thought we were dating and wanted in on that. we can be so normal with each other about it

4. Girls / Girls / Boys by Panic! at the Disco

I don't wanna hear you've got a boyfriend / Sometimes, you're better off alone / But if you change your mind, you know where I am / Yeah, if you change your mind, you know where to find me / 'Cause I don't ever wanna be your boyfriend / And never did I think that I would be caught in the way you got me / Push another girl aside and just give in

You will never get away from the sound of the woman band who loves you got you through middle school

Anyways enjoy this song about Brendon Urie's first threesome that's the only reason I put it on here

5. Somebody Told Me by The Killers

Well, somebody told me you had a boyfriend / Who looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year / It's not confidential, I've got potential

there's a lot of gender happening in all three of them

6. Jessie's Girl by Rick Springfield

You know I feel so dirty when they start talking cute / I wanna tell her that I love her but that point is probably moot / 'Cause she's watching him with those eyes / She's loving him with that body, I just know it / And he's holding her in his arms late at night / I wish that I had Jessie's girl

Yes, okay, it's another memed up song. Except it's real. It's real. You just have to listen to it and imagine with me. Sometimes things that are bits can actually be SO. That's what happened with ... this entire au to be completely honest.

7. Post-Break Up Sex by The Vaccines

To think I'd hoped you'd be okay, no, I can't think of what to say / Maybe I misunderstood, but I can't believe you're feeling good from / Post break-up sex that helps you forget your ex / What did you expect from post break-up sex?

To be SO clear. Just in case you somehow got to this playlist without the context of any of the other ones. Day and Break were basically married for several hundred years and then got divorced and in this version of the story, the kez situationship happened to pop up after they had caught feelings for a second time, but before they had told each other they had feelings and were both still convinced it was one-sided.

8. Jolene by Dolly Parton

Your beauty is beyond compare / With flaming locks of auburn hair / With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green / Your smile is like a breath of spring / Your voice is soft like summer rain / And I cannot compete with you, Jolene

I'm a FIRM believer in Jolene being a gay girl anthem. She wanted to fuck Jolene so bad it made her look stupid. Anyways Day and Break are each other's Jolenes.

9. Girl Crush by Little Big Town

I don't get no sleep, I don't get no peace / Thinkin' about her under your bed sheets / The way that she's whisperin', the way that she's pullin' you in / Lord knows I've tried, I can't get her off my mind / I wanna taste her lips, yeah, 'cause they taste like you

Oh you wanted the porn au to be horny? You wanted it to be horny? FUCK YOU. pining and feelings.

In this au Day and Break did end up falling fully for Kez and becoming a proper poly relationship like they did in canon, it just happened in a slightly different order. This is the first, really shoved down, inklings of feelings for kez happening Real

10. Becky's So Hot by Fletcher

And I don't really blame you 'cause / Damn, the waist, the hips, the face, this is awkward / Are you in love like we were? / If I were you, I'd probably keep her / Makes me wanna hit her when I see her / 'Cause Becky's so hot in your vintage t-shirt / Ooh, she's the one I should hate / But I wanna know how she tastes

insane horny dyke shit

11. Unholy by Hey Violet

I'm having thoughts all the time, you and I, and they won't go away / But I kinda like what it's like in my mind and I don't wanna be saved / Every night I'm undressing with him and I'm thinking of you / Yeah, I know it's the wrong thing to do, but I kinda want to / Say your name while our tongues are tied, getting shivers all down my spine / We're in bed, we're embedded in my mind

insane horny dyke shit

12. Better Kind of Best Friend by Xana

Can't stay away from each other, don't have the power, you know I'm a sucker / Watch as I swallow my pride along with you tonight / She tastes like heaven and she knows it, loves me and she shows it / Grinnin' up at her like damn, I could be a better kind of best friend / With my hand down her waistband, baby, I'm a fan / I don't die for my women anymore

insane horny dyke shit

also "I don't die for my women anymore, I kill for them" is something that can be SO paladin romance

13. she calls me daddy by KiNG MALA

Says she likes when I play king, little play thing / Yeah my girl likes the way I wear my crown / You should see their face when they finally realize / That she plays with the boys, but she comes home to me / Want to change her mind but I think it unwise / 'Cause she might be your girl but she’s calling me daddy

insane horny dyke shit

Also, it's a canon fact about Day that she likes being bossed around during sex. ESPECIALLY when its him (6'6ish, insane CON, literal slab of brick) being put in his place by kez (5'0 flat, 8 CON, 98 pounds soaking wet). I said somewhere the hottest thing you could say to Day is "you couldn't do a thing to stop me"

14. 20 Questions by Zolita

Was she sweet? Did you cry? Was it everything you wanted? / Was she drunk? Were you high? Did you fuck her in the closet? / Did she say, "I love you" like the way I used to? / Was it quick? Was it long? Did you do it how I like it? / With the lights kinda on, was she loud or was she quiet? / Did she say, "I love you" like the way I used to? / I got twenty questions for you

THEEEEEEEEEEE song of the entire playlist. The one that started it all. It's not actually about confronting about your cheating partner, it's about getting in bed with the person who was just in your ex's bed 10 minutes ago and the entire time it's just “you wanna know what we did?” it’s “you wanna know what they felt like? it's "tell me what she said to you, tell me what she did to you, tell me what she said about Me and let me take it out on you" it's “she told me to give you this”

15. I Get Off by Halestorm

There's so much left unspoken between the two of us / It's so much more exciting to look when you can't touch / You could say I'm different and maybe I'm a freak / But I know how to twist you to bring you to your knees / I get off on you getting off on me

At first, it was just them getting off on hearing kez say what the other one did or just straight up hearing it. tents not particularly soundproof. But eventually, that wasn't enough.

Day was always the more impatient one, so, she uh. She just walked into Break's tent in the middle of it and took off her clothes, sat down with his bare thigh less than an inch away from Break's, refused to acknowledge Break, and instead grabbed Kez by the jaw and said "I'm here whenever you're ready, darling."

And then THAT stopped being enough and they started fully having sex with kez at the same time but refused to touch each other or talk to each other or say each other's names. Kez had to pass all the messages back and forth (RIP her ability to kiss or give head ever).

Very normalstyle.

16. she knows it by Maggie Lindemann

Yeah, it's like ecstasy when you're next to me / Think that you should leave him and stay with me / I like a girl that's got a boyfriend / Can't seem to get her out of my head / And she knows it should be me in her bed / Yeah, she knows it, she knows it, she knows it

back on my kez pining bullshit. Is kez the boyfriend? or is kez the girl they like. teehee.

17. I Go Crazy by Orla Garland

Three words, two hearts, one maybe / Say something before I go crazy now / And my tears, your tears, don't phase me / Say something before I go crazy now

there came a point in the sloppy seconds au where day and break were so clearly pining for each other and fucking kez so insane style about it that they went. look. whatever's happening here has been great and fun but you NEED to figure your shit out. and gave them a date and time for the next threesome and then no-showed and hoped (correctly) that the horniness would be too much and day and break would just fuck each other instead.

18. Her Too by girli

So you came along when I needed more time / And I'm glad you did, but that doesn't delete her, so / I'm crying at weird times, and I can't keep carrying three hearts inside / If the old love said she wants me back, but the new crush has me in her hand / I don't know who I'd run to 'cause I'm loving both the views

as a known girli girly, i had to put Something of hers on here. and "more than a friend" is insane horny dyke shit but we already had xana better kind of best friend. so instead take one of the only two good songs on her new album

20. Would You Mind by Friday Pilots Club

While she's wasting away she'll say there's no meaning / To his touch, his love, but she still needs to blame it on me / Did you need someone else to help you forget the reason / That you fell for me at all in this hell of a season / If I spend the night in the gaze of strange eyes / Would you mind, dear, oh would you mind?

Courtesy of bekah/the rallie playlist: I can barely even listen to this song it makes me so uniquely unwell.

It's just. It's SO! All of it, all of it, was about pushing the other's buttons, to make them realize how bad they still wanted you. Would you mind if I did that with someone else? Would you mind if I touched them the way I used to with you? Would you mind if I talked to them the way I used to with you? Would you mind if they looked at me the way you used to? Oh, I know you'd mind.

20. It's Only Sex by Car Seat Headrest

Okay, so I’ve been reading all the sex blogs, and they all talk about how okay it is to be gay and straight and bisexual and asexual and have sex however you like. But I don’t care about hundreds of hypothetical people and their hypothetical sex deals. I care about me, and my sex deal! What about my problems?

don't worry about everything else i wrote on every other explanation the sloppy seconds au is so normal and regular and cool and normal. Of course it doesn't mean anything serious. Haha.

Would you mind? No, It's Only Sex.

You have now reached the end of the true playlist. However ....

BONUS TRACK: Pink Panther by Scene Queen

Please don't call, I need another hour / Three more girls are piling in the shower / Don't call, you know I can't answer / Getting pussy like Pink Panther

I couldn't find a spot in the main section that including this didn't feel like like i was doing a bit. but kez pov

BONUS TRACK: Do Not Disturb by Halestorm

I think we should make out, in a few hours I'm getting on a plane / There's a pretty safe bet you'll never see me again, yeah / I love your accent, I wonder what it'll sound like when you cum / Let's see if Blondes or Brunettes are more fun / I'm on the very top floor room 1334 / There's a king size bed, but we can do it on the floor / Turn your cellphone off, leave a sign on the door that says "Do not disturb" / And if I were you I'd bring your girlfriend, too / Two is better than one, three is better than two

If I wasn't already attached to In the Middle a normal amount, this would've been the playlist opener. Really captures the energy of, not quite 48 hours after meeting for the first time, Kez asking Daybreak if they want a third.

BONUS TRACK: Sick Bitch - River Moon Remix by LSDXOXO, River Moon

I'M A SICK BITCH AND I LIKE FREAK SEX IF YOU WANNA TEST THE LIMITS OF MY GAG REFLEX IF YOU WANNA PUT IN WORK YOU GOTTA GO BERSERK YOU GOTTA MAKE IT HURT IF YOU WANNA MAKE IT SQUIRT, UNH

morgan loves this song - she practically begged me to put it on the playlist, so, you know, i let her twist my arm

[aiqingdemeimiao]

How long have Ben and kadiff been dating? Last I heard ben was going through a divorce with mark which seemed pretty sudden and strange. I've always thought they were cute together. I really wanna know what went wrong and at the same time I'm so happy for Ben rn cause he seems really comfortable happy and I'm dying to know about all the details in regards to his new relationship with kadiff

putting this under a read more to save the normal/non-nosey parts of the fandom from seeing this slightly stalkerish post

tbh with you, the break up wasn't strange or sudden, you're just normal so you weren't paying attention to the minutia of a celeb's life the way losers with hyperfixations were. i'm very happy for you, really.

anyway, the break up happened in three stage: The Separation (2019), The Split (2020), and The Divorce (2022ish).

ben and mark had already been living separately for 6 months when the pandemic came along and forced them back into the same household as a lockdown bubble. (idk how long you've been in this fandom, but at the time we were all soooo shocked they went into lockdown together because we thought The Separation™️ was a split lol). The Split™️ happened pretty shortly after that. by october that year ben was no longer hiding the break up in interviews, but didn't want to talk about it other than saying "i survived it".

idk what caused the initial separation, but during the separation period there were a few rumours circulating in the uk theatre scene about mark' cheating 's behaviour (whether or not things like rumours/blind items are legit is another convo i think lol). "i survived it" does deffo make it seem like it wasn't a happy break, as well as a later interview where ben's asked about his marriage and instead deviates to talk about james & kerri and how unselfish their marriage is (with the implication being his marriage was selfish).

but let's be real, unless ben has a personality transplant and starts doing personal life interviews we'll probably never know for certain haha. mark certainly isn't talking about it.

ben and kadiff were already industry acquaintances (they were both in queers [2017] and met at the table read) and move in the same social circles thanks to overlapping friends like andrew. i'm 99.999% certain they started off as just a fun no-strings fling, then got a little more serious in that little window of non-lockdown in summer 2020 💀💀💀 which is why they were so on-and-off and messy to begin with (we don't talk about the 2019 era, let my boy have his slutty rebound era in peace!!!). they had a few stops and starts like that before starting Dating Properly after they filmed TIGTH in 2021. they didn't go official (or as near to official as ben ever gets without his agent putting out wedding press releases) until after the daily mail broke The Divorce™️ news, at which point kadiff stopped hiding ben on his own social media. now we get the occasional exciting flash of elbow, or hair, or the back of ben's head. hooray!

for example:

but yeah, you're completely right that they seem really happy and ben's a lot more laid back these days. idk whether it's aging or the relationship or what, but he's clearly a lot more comfortable in his own skin compared to like 2017. i don't think people new to the fandom realise just how much of a big bag of neuroticism he used to be sjfhsjhfs. it's nice to see. i feel like a proud mother (ignore the fact i am a childless lesbian in my 30s).

[l3m0ngal5]

Alexis:Divorced

Astra:Beheaded

Mara:Died

Vasilia:Divorced

Kate:Beheaded

Kayla:Survived

Alexis:And tonight, A016, we are

Live!

Alexis:Listen up, let me tell you a story

Astra:A story that you think you've heard before

Mara:We know you know our names and our fame and our faces

Vasilia:Know all about the glories and the disgraces

Kate:I'm done 'cause all this time

I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme

Kayla:So I picked up a pen and a microphone

History's about to get overthrown

Alexis:Divorced

AstraBeheaded

Mara:Died

Vasilia:Divorced

Kate:Beheaded

Kayla:Survived

All:But just for you tonight

We're divorced, beheaded, live!

Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix

Switching up the flow, as we add the prefix

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

Raising up the roof, 'til we hit the ceiling

Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

But now we're ex-wives

A016, make some noise!

Alexis:All you ever hear and read about

Astra:Is our ex and the way it ended

Mara:But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush

Vasilia:You're gonna find out how we got unfriended

Kate:Tonight we're gonna do ourselves justice

'Cause we're taking you to court

Kayla:Every Tudor rose has its thorns

And you're gonna hear 'em live in consort

Alexis:Divorced

Astra:Beheaded

Mara:Died

Vasilia:Divorced

Kate:Beheaded

Kayla:Survived

All:But just for you tonight

We're divorced, beheaded, live!

Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix

Switching up the flow, as we add the prefix

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

Dancing through the night 'til the break of day

Once we're done, we'll start again

Like it's the Renaissance

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

But now we're ex-wives

Remember us, from PBS?

Divorced

Alexis:My name's Catherine Of Aragon

Was married 24 years, I'm a paragon

Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican

So if you try to dump me

You won't try that again

Beheaded

Astra:I'm that Boleyn girl

And I'm up next

See, I broke England from the Church

Yeah, I'm that sexy

Why did I lose my head?

Well, my sleeves may be green

But my lipstick's red!

Died

Mara:Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved

Rude

When my son was newly born, I died

But I'm not what I seem

Or am I?

Stick around, and you'll suddenly see more

Divorced

Vasilia:Ich bin Anna of Cleves

Ja

When he saw my portrait he was like

Ja!

But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic

Funny how we all discuss that, but never Henry's little

Kate:Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine who lost her head

Beheaded

For my promiscuity outside of wed

Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons

K Howard is here, and the fun's begun

Survived

Kayla:Five down, I'm the final wife

I saw him to the end of his life

I'm the survivor, Catherine Parr

I bet you wanna know how I got this far

I said, I bet you wanna know how I got this far

All:Do you wanna know how we got this far?

Then welcome to the show, to the histo-remix

Switching up the flow as we add the prefix

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

Come on, come on, come on!

Turn the beat up, get this party buzzing

You want a queen bee, well there's half a dozen

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives

But now we're ex-wives

One, two, three, four, five

SIX!

I forgot about these Man this is amazing And a bop of a song

[cleanerdoesntgaming]

kaeloo incorrect quotes to help get myself into the fandom

Quack-Quack: What are you getting Mr. Cat for the holidays? Kaeloo: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet. Stumpy: I'm getting Mr. Cat a divorce lawyer.

.

Kaeloo: Wake me up- Quack-Quack: Before you go go Stumpy: When September ends Mr. Cat: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

.

Quack-Quack: Why are your tongues purple? Mr. Cat: We had slushies. I had a blue one. Kaeloo: I had a red one. Quack-Quack: oh. Quack-Quack: Quack-Quack: OH. Stumpy: Stumpy: You drank eachothers slushies?

.

Mr. Cat, pointing at Quack-Quack: Are they a Freak (derogatory)? Mr. Cat, pointing at Kaeloo: Or a Freak (affectionate)? Stumpy: Why not both? Mr. Cat, to Stumpy: You’re so right, Freak (double-edged sword)!

.

Kaeloo: Words ending in 'ie' just sound so adorable. Like cutie, sweetie, cookie- Stumpy: Eyy, homie! Quack-Quack: But then there's cootie… Mr. Cat: Die.

. Stumpy: You know, Mr. Cat gives Kaeloo flowers everyday, I wish you'd do that too. Quack-Quack: Okay. Later Quack-Quack: gives Kaeloo flowers Kaeloo: ??? Quack-Quack: I don't know, I'm confused as well.

.

Quack-Quack: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Stumpy. They're mad at you. Stumpy: No, it's Mr. Cat. They're just being gramatically correct! meanwhile Mr. Cat: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. Kaeloo: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Mr. Cat: I stand by my choice.

.

Mr. Cat: is hugging Kaeloo Stumpy: Hey! It's my turn to hug Kaeloo! Stumpy: grabs Kaeloo Quack-Quack: kicking down the door What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot! Mr. Cat: No, It's still my turn! Kaeloo: suffocating Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly! Stumpy: But we need the moral support! Mr. Cat: And you're small! Which is cute! Quack-Quack: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning. Kaeloo: close to tears Well- I, I guess.

.

Kaeloo: Today at 7 am, Mr. Cat poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Quack-Quack: I watched Mr. Cat brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. Stumpy: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

.

Kaeloo: I love you. Mr. Cat: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that. Kaeloo and Mr. Cat kiss passionately Stumpy, to Quack-Quack: You owe me 20 dollars.

.

Mr. Cat: You have friends and I envy that. Kaeloo: You're welcome to share my friends. Mr. Cat: looks at Quack-Quack and Stumpy Mr. Cat: I don't want those.

[insignificantmortalsshouldsuffer]

Divorced Beheaded Died

Divorced Beheaded Survived And tonight, New York City, we are Live!

Listen up, let me tell you a story A story that you think you've heard before We know you know our names and our fame and our faces Know all about the glories and the disgraces

I'm done 'cause all this time I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme So I picked up a pen and a microphone History's about to get overthrown

Divorced Beheaded Died Divorced Beheaded Survived But just for you tonight We're divorced, beheaded, live!

Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix Switching up the flow, as we add the prefix Everybody knows that we used to be six wives Raising up the roof, 'til we hit the ceiling Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing Everybody knows that we used to be six wives But now we're ex-wives

New York, make some noise!

All you ever hear and read about Is our ex and the way it ended But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush You're gonna find out how we got unfriended

Tonight we're gonna do ourselves justice 'Cause we're taking you to court Every Tudor rose has its thorns And you're gonna hear 'em live in consort

Divorced Beheaded Died Divorced Beheaded Survived But just for you tonight We're divorced, beheaded, live!

Welcome to the show, to the histo-remix Switching up the flow, as we add the prefix Everybody knows that we used to be six wives Dancing through the night 'til the break of day Once we're done, we'll start again Like it's the Renaissance Everybody knows that we used to be six wives But now we're ex-wives

Remember us, from PBS?

Divorced

My name's Catherine Of Aragon Was married 24 years, I'm a paragon Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican So if you try to dump me You won't try that again

Beheaded

I'm that Boleyn girl And I'm up next See, I broke England from the Church Yeah, I'm that sexy Why did I lose my head? Well, my sleeves may be green But my lipstick's red!

Died

Jane Seymour, the only one he truly loved Rude When my son was newly born, I died But I'm not what I seem Or am I? Stick around, and you'll suddenly see more

Divorced

Ich bin Anna of Cleves Ja When he saw my portrait he was like Ja! But I didn't look as good as I did in my pic Funny how we all discuss that, but never Henry's little

Prick up your ears, I'm the Katherine who lost her head

Beheaded

For my promiscuity outside of wed Lock up your husbands, lock up your sons K Howard is here, and the fun's begun

Survived

Five down, I'm the final wife I saw him to the end of his life I'm the survivor, Catherine Parr I bet you wanna know how I got this far I said, I bet you wanna know how I got this far

Do you wanna know how we got this far?

Then welcome to the show, to the histo-remix Switching up the flow as we add the prefix Everybody knows that we used to be six wives Come on, come on, come on! Turn the beat up, get this party buzzing You want a queen bee, well there's half a dozen Everybody knows that we used to be six wives But now we're ex-wives

One, two, three, four, five SIX!

Anon? I fucking hate you.

[alextheavoidant]

I posted this as a reply to someone on YouTube under a video about the 8 Passengers situation. Thought I'd share it here because why not.

I feel like I should put a trigger warning here as this post discusses child abuse, but now that I think of it my whole blog probably needs a trigger warning...

Post:

I was also badly abused growing up and this is something I'm just now starting to come to terms with. My parents were divorced when I was five and my father claims he tried to get custody of my siblings and I, but the truth is he didn't want to be a single father and having three little kids to take care of would have gotten in the way of his drinking and partying lifestyle. I never knew my mothers side of the family because she's pretty much been estranged from them since before I was born. But I remember when my sister died from a drug overdose the whole side of my dads family were suddenly so sad about what we went through growing up and would say things like "We tried to give you some sense of normalcy. We always invited you to Christmas and the holidays." As if they were doing us some kind of favor for letting us come to family gatherings.

The worst part is I didn't have to wonder if they knew. I knew they knew because I remember being very vocal about what was happening to us our entire childhood. But every time I tried to tell someone it seemed like they would either turn away and pretend they didn't hear me or make some kind of joke like "Oh yeah, that's your mother. She's crazy. Ha ha ha." or a dismissive "Well, she's the only mother you're ever gonna have, so you gotta love her." or what I feel is one of the most damaging things you can put in an abused child's mind, "I know it may not seem like it, but she loves you in her own way." No one seemed to be worried back then.

The other worst part is instead of being understanding about the ways the abuse has effected us and maybe trying to help us get our lives together, these same people who turned a blind eye to it now have the audacity to judge us for not being "successful", their definition of success being having a great career, lots of money, nice house, nice car, nice marriage with three perfectly behaved, straight A students. We're supposed to be perfect like all of them pretend to be. Just supposed to magically not be affected by any of the abuse and neglect we suffered growing up so that they can pretend it never happened so they don't have to feel guilty about the fact that they knew we were living in a house with a raging alcoholic without food and clean clothes half the time and they did nothing about it. It wasn't *their* responsibility to protect us. Now that we're adults its *our* responsibility to fix ourselves and stop "playing innocent", blaming the family and making them look bad. The only reason we can't is obviously because we're just too inherently defective. Because of course we are. We're "just like our mother". We have her genes. And the kicker? I'm constantly told to "rise above my raising" while also being told I'm "screwing up" my niece because I can't afford to take her out to eat all the time and shit like that. Literal mind fuck.

And yet, the most bizarre part is, the more progress I make in my recovery, as I have been diagnosed with several mental health issues including a severe anxiety disorder (AvPD), the harder and harder they seem to want to come down on me. Like it's not enough that I've spent years in therapy trying to get my life straight, that I'm raising AND homeschooling my sisters child, whom she abandoned long before she passed away. It's not enough just that I survived that hell and I'm still here and I'm not an addict or in jail or on the street. I'm just not getting better fast enough, and that annoys them. They don't want to hear about my recovery because they don't want to acknowledge how fucked up I actually am, and how much work its taking to even try to achieve some sense of normalcy, let alone have a "successful" life and career, according to their standards. My very existence is a stain on the security blanket of lies they wrap themselves up in so they can sleep at night. And they really don't like that.