#but i'm tired of having it in my drafts so i'm publishing it yay

[the-angriest-author]

Writeblr intro

Hallooo..

not sure if I'm doing this right... tbh, idek what to put on here. Anyhow, I've been writing for about two years now (YAY!!). I mostly write poetry although as I write this most of my posts are short stories of the fantasy variety. I like reading swoon-worthy romances so if you write anything that makes me blush and kick my feet like the teenage girl I am, I will follow you and maybe stalk all your posts. If you are the grammar police I must warn you that you will be forced to arrest me after reading my posts (I'M WORKING ON IT, not really tho).

I've been on Tumblr for idk how long but I keep ghosting the app (Life and whatnot) I'm craving community, especially with fellow authors, maybe ones with more writing experience (I am a newbiiieee). Guys... I swear I won't ghost again 🤭.

And here are all my labels for all my lovely people:

She/Her

WOC

Queer (bi or pan idek man this sexuality shit aint for the weak of heart)

Retired Stoner (Moved to a place where I can't smoke)

Raging bitch (Moved to a place where I can't smoke)

Capricorn Sun, Sagittarius Moon, Capricorn Rising (Raging Bitch)

Not actually a raging bitch, just think it's funny (Please like me)

ADHD (Prone to run on sentences and overusing parentheses)

Chronically misunderstood (Capricorn)

Very Annoying (Sagittarius Moon)

Certifiably Woo-Woo (Hence the astrology references)

Not Funny (I think I'm hilarious and spent 5 minutes straight laughing at this little section)

Current WIPS

To The Stranger Who Stumbles ~ A collection of poetry written during a time of my life when I was experiencing some intense change and coming to terms with certain childhood events that were... not so fun.

Genre: Poetry

Word Count: 5953

Stage: Beta Reading (message me if ur interested)

The Mad ~ Mildred the Mad and her crew of dangerous and mythical women are charged with kidnapping and delivering the Seelie Prince to the Unseelie kingdom. But with every plan comes complications, some in the form of brooding king's guards.

Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Action

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers, Found Family

Current Word Count: 4434

Stage: ROUGH DRAFT and planning

P.S. My messages are open! Let's connect!

Published Works

The Hidden (w)Hole of a Heart ~ Literally my whole heart shat out onto paper. But seriously tho it's available on Amazon now and I would appreciate any support. In actuality, it's a story about a young woman (Yours Truly) coming to terms with her deeply feeling nature and Depression. The poems describe the heaviness of emptiness and the overwhelmingness of intense emotions.

Excerpts:

Haunted House

Feelings stick to my walls like ghosts,

How is an exorcism performed on a memory?

How do I let them pass through me?

An Apology to The Crone

Pressing my tiny fleshy palms to my ears,

I refused to hear the wisdom of the crone.

Her voice was scratchy with use,

As she warned me of my journey.

I’d close my eyes with every disaster.

The niggling feeling would whisper a wrong,

And I’d pray to God my feet were swift,

So, they could carry me away.

I’d refuse to harden,

Reasoning that beauty is only found in the soft.

I waited to be taken by my knight.

I never cared that the gleam in her armor was an illusion.

I stand unprepared for the cruel world.

Preserved in my maidenhood.

Having grown tired of disobedience, 

The crone has abandoned me.

Only now do I see the clarity of your wisdom,

I will forever be sorry.

A Terrible High

on occasion

there are quiet moments

where minds begin to fill blanks

when small things grow

rock to boulder

smashing me against the ground

flat

nothing 

2D

I’m nonexistent.

If I were nonexistent

the boulder would simply blow through

and I’d be nothing.

And I’d be okay.

[allqrcoded]

Devlog 3: Call me Baygon because i'm antibug

big news everyone.. angel care is almost complete! i’m back with another devlog & for this month, i focused on bug fixing, interaction assets along with more cg drafts. in celebration of almost being done, i'll share this placeholder i never used:

he was supposed to be in the talk section stuff, but considering i ended up not doing assets for it, he was just there. we'll never see him again, so say bye bye for now. here's to hoping we get more placeholders out of the way

Bug fixing (1 & 2)

I'm proud to say that... for this month, i've finished running through my 1st round of bug fixing along with cracking down on the 2nd stage of it. i thought it would take longer, but it only took me around 2 weeks to get them down. with that out of the way, i've focused on making the game look nicer aesthetically such as .. specific character interaction sprites & cgs

for the sake of my sanity, i bug tested with the bgm off, so i still have to import some music into scenes that i feel need them. cg work has been going smoothly . even if i decided that i'll change the style of them last minute. it worked out in the end, though, because i feel like the current style of the cgs fit the game more rather than my usual rendering style.

i still have to make some changes to the game because im self conscious, but i'm happy that i'm on this stage regarding AC . it's my child.

because i'm on my 2nd round regarding this aspect (and will probably repeat this loop in the near future because of course i will), it'll take longer to polish AC off.

as of writing this, i've taken care of the extra bugs that popped up in the early game and if i'm correct, i just have to code in the interaction sprites in the scenes that need them for the rest of the game, since the variables that were used in that portion got switched for mid-late game. i also have to code in some sound design aspects in the game, but that's all for this portion.

5/31/23 update: i'm now done with bugfixing in the mid-game area! i barely touched the late game portion, save for double checking if the variables lined up, so, yay! it got done pretty quickly.

New CG style

unfortunately, the preview i showed in my last devlog for one of the cg was scrapped in favor of a less time-consuming cg style. it's similar how i did the talk sprites & this month, i was coding them in the game even if they aren't technically "finished." it's fine, though, because i know it'll save me time in the future for doing that once i polish them. speaking of, here's the first cg you see in the game:

im pretty proud of it. definitely captured what i had in mind for the intro. overlay layers are amazing. right now, the pictures folder in the game have around 130+ files. very mildly interesting

i've been focusing on that aspect for the last two weeks of this month since round 1 of bug fixing got done relatively early. it's a bit tiring on the hands, but each of them take around 40 minutes of my time. the amount of cgs for this game isn't as crazy (over 20, i believe), but still.. doing a lot of them takes a toll on you.

(picture unrelated)

What now?

this month's devlog is pretty subpar because it's literally just "i'm killing off bugs", but sometimes, gamedevving is just like that. as i'm writing this, i've taken a bit of a backseat in terms of this game to take care of myself, but i'm hoping i could release it in the future.

i don't think i'll ever achieve the perfect state i could be satisfied with regarding this game, but that's my goal for now. . also i think that's the first instance i've been self-aware on my keenness to these things but maybe it's because i'm working in a new medium, so i'm a bit slow. perfectionism is a lot to work with.

next month, it's more CG making for me and after that... publishing. if i'm lucky i can get it done during june, but realistically, maybe i'll finish the CGs by july/

[truerequitedlove]

100 ☺️

Bored

“I’m fine with where I am now.” >> send me these if u want

goingwith the first thing to come to mind woooo.

thisone was a bit hard for me to think of something for, and I feel like it couldhave a lot of interpretations so who knows

alsofic-writing vs self-projecting I obviously don’t know the difference

(1.4kwords)

~•~•~

Ithad been something that Dan had always talked about. He got restless. He gotsad. He wanted something more spectacular than his boring home town. He wantedsomething bigger, better, brighter. Something with constant distractions tokeep his mind from wandering to dark places. Something to keep him energized,keep him motivated. 

Danlived with his parents, and he was really beginning to regret taking a gap yearbecause even in high school he got so bored.And now all his friends were going off to college and Dan was so terribly bored. And when he got bored he got sadand when he got sad he got lazy. And that just led to worse boredom and worsesadness.

Hewanted new. He wanted exciting. He wanted jittery feelings and something loud.

Healways loved the Reading festivals he went to. Bright, exciting, big. Theycould never come often enough. He tried to work, but could never get it right. Theboring mundane tasks. He didn’t think he was quite cut out for real life.

WhenDan received the notification that his teenage girl idol/crush had followed himon Twitter, he felt something he hadn’t felt in forever. Excitement. And soonenough they began to talk.

Philhelped a lot. Phil kept Dan excited, kept him motivated, especially when theymade plans to meet. Dan had something to look forward to, a change in pace, andthose jittery feelings Phil always managed to give him.

Goingto university in Manchester was amazing. Dan loved the hustle and bustle of thecity. It was never boring. Never like the old suburbia his parents lived in.This was high energy, exciting, and he got to do it with his boyfriend.

Universitywas exciting, certainly, but not in the way Dan had hoped. There was drama,breakdowns, questioning why he was doing what he was doing. But at least itwasn’t boring. And Dan would take that over his boring gap year. Because whenhe was scared he wasn’t bored, and when he was with Phil he wasn’t bored. Andhe hated himself for feeling that way, but he preferred pain to numbness.

Movingin with Phil reminded him of the jittery happy excitement, though, and herealized he much preferred that to the stress-driven, 3am breakdown, excitementhe’d been dealing with. So he found himself dropping out. He couldn’t do thisforever. He hated it. Phil comforted him, told him it was okay and they’dfigure it out.

Thefresh start was exciting.

Andsoon their YouTube began to grow. Before they knew it they were moving toLondon. London. The most excitingcity in the UK. Dan was jittery and happy and terrified, and it was amazing. He and Phil were doing this.They were moving to London to be on a radio show and maybe this whole YouTubething could work out.

Andeverything was so exciting from then on. From the good (the radio show,youtube, cons and meet ups) to the bad (secrets, relationship difficulties),nothing was ever boring. Dan still got sad and occasionally he got bored, butthere was usually some way of distracting himself.

Thenthings started to calm down, fall into routine. Dan dreamed of touring andwriting and starting more channels, but he never seemed to have the energy todo it, and they were busy, but it wasa bit boring.

Dan’s mumtended to call him once and while. When nothing new had happened in a while,she’d jokingly ask Dan. “So, you bored of it yet?” Whether it be the radio,university, living with Phil. She never meant bad, and usually Dan would laughand say no, but sometimes he knew he was actually getting antsy again. He madeit through 2013, but eventually he got bored again.

So, Dansuggested a gaming channel. That kept him occupied for a long time, and hereally loved making videos with Phil. Now that they had three channels, and aradio show to keep up with, Dan wasn’t as bored.

Danstarted getting better at controlling his boredom. He started getting better atappreciating what he had, living in the moment, and finding the fun in thelittler things. He still loved VidCon and Radio Shows and getting a little rushfrom sneaking a flirty comment toward Phil into a video. But he was starting tobe able to slow down and not be bored.

But thingssettled back into a routine and Dan got antsy. 2015 was coming up, and Dan wasgetting bored again. So he suggested a book. And a tour. Maybe he was beingcrazy, and it was at like 3am when he mentioned it to Phil, but his ambitionseemed to reel Phil in. And then they were up all night planning. And they weregoing to do it. A book. A stage show.

Dan didn’thave time to be bored for the next two years. Planning it, releasing it,touring, touring again. Dan was euphoric with the excitement that came with it.Waking up in a new place everyday. Getting to perform next to his best friend.Meeting new people. Constantly on the go. Dan was tired, but, god, he was sohappy. And he cherished the jittery feeling he got when he heard the screams offans right before he walked onto the stage.

Alas, thatperiod of their lives came to an end.

Theyreturned home. They got back into the routine of things. It was a relief. Theywere so tired, and now they got to bask in the afterglow of all they hadachieved.

Dan didn’tget bored for a long time. Because next, they were moving. And making videos asquickly as they ever had, and when 2017 hit they decided to plan another stageshow. Though 2017 was a bit of a chilled year for them, it definitely wasn’tlacking in excitement. Dan didn’t remember how bored he used to get. He wasconstantly doing things, he was in love, he was so happy.

And thenthey were touring again. 2018 was a huge wave of excitement, and Dan was sohappy. He felt the same jittery feelings from tatinof. He savored every second,but it began to feel less of a desperate need.

Whenthings finally slowed down, Dan would savor the small, boring moments. Themoments of them just watching crap telly. The moments when they weren’tplanning ahead they were just being.The moments in the morning when Dan woke up before Phil and got to watch himwake up, and grin sleepily at him.

Dan didn’tdetest the slow, the domestic, the normal. Dan loved it. He loved every secondof his life. He felt happy. He felt calm. He had things to look forward to, buteven if he didn’t he’d have been at ease.

Videoswere made. Lazy days were had. Things were planned, but there was no rush.

And hismom still called.

“How’slife back off the road?” she asked, once everything had settled down. “Boredyet?” she teased.

Dan took alook around. Phil was in the lounge on his laptop. They’d been cuddling likethe stupid lovestruck kids they had always been and Dan was content. He feltcalm, hand he was happy. He could go and press a kiss to Phil’s forehead andcurl up beside him. He could watch crap television. He could chill out. And hewasn’t bored. He was happy. He was so happy.

“Are yougoing to force Phil to tour with you again?” his mum asked, probably taking hislack of an answer as a yes.

Dan smiledat Phil, who was absorbed in whatever he was doing. “Nah, I don’t think so,” hereplied. “I’m fine with where I am now.”

And it wastrue. Dan was more than fine with his domestic bliss. He was happy. He was inlove. He had things to plan, things to look forward to, but he cherished thelittle moments when he got to be in love, and quiet, and slow. When he got tobe boring.

“Lookslike you’ve finally wore yourself out, huh?” his mom asked.

Danchuckled. “Yeah I suppose so.”

Dandecided to remedy that by climbing in beside Phil and taking a nice long napwhile boring tv programs played in the background and Phil answered boringemails about boring finances. Because this was Dan’s boring little domesticlife. And he adored it.

[toko-writing-imagines]

Toko Fukawa/Genocide Jack x Wife! Reader Headcanons please?

You got it !! But like being a wife or whatever to Toko and Jack sounds absolutely amazing to me-

I wanna be wifey to them so bad

Anyways enjoy your hcs !! ^^ ♡♡

Toko and Genocide Jack x Wife!Reader headcanons

【Toko Fukawa】

• mmm wife good

• Toko probably has and will still write tons of books inspired by you and her because like- you are so amazing to her

• She has you read over her drafts for any new books and always asks you for your criticism - what she can improve on, if the story is too bland or cliché, etc (even if she is the [former when an adult] Ultimate Writing Prodigy, there is still stuff she can improve on)

• Sometimes she wonders how you were able to stick with her for so long to the point that you guys got married (you gotta have the patience of a saint if you wanna marry her )

• Tons of self care!! Before getting married and you two were just dating, you made this thing where once a week you guys just don't work and just- treat yo self. Buying new clothes, going on a small date, staying indoors, baking, fun skin care stuff, etc

• Though old habits die hard, so Toko still has problems with self care and even basic hygiene sometimes

• She still hasn't fully overcome her fear of showing, so to help you just bathe her while talking about whatever is on your mind

• Toko likes to brush your hair, whether it be long or short, she just enjoys the soft texture when feeling it

• There's never really a lot of time to go since she's almost always working to publish new books (as a famous author when older) so whenever she doesn't have to meet some sort of deadline, you two just end up cuddling together in comfortable silence

• That or just really just doing whatever as long as it's relaxing for the both of you in the end

【Genocide Jack/Syo】

• crazy crazy wife

• She *playfully* likes to point her scissors at you for no reason at all

• Jack is one of those people who would call you from a different room and would not reply when you respond

• Also she does this thing where she likes to call you out whenever you walk into the room she is in and that's literally it

• Follows you around a lot just for the heck of it

• Jack is pretty straightforward or blunt for most things, so there are time where she says stuff she could have said more nicer

• No killings!! While the cops still have never caught her, and probably never will, she hasn't killed anyone since you started dating her and that streak still holds up (or at least that's what she tells you... your choice to believe her or not)

• Though she always emphasizes that even if she doesn't kill, she will kill anyone if you told her to

• Loves to hug you from behind a lot, even at the most random times she still hugs you

• Sometimes she writes random letters for you, and while her skills for writing aren't as close to Toko's (not bad, but not close to Toko's), it still leaves something that only she can write (with the occasion vulgar language on the margins)

꒦ ͝ ꒷ ͝ ꒦ ͝ ꒷꒦ ͝ ꒷ ͝ ꒦ ͝ ꒷꒦ ͝ ꒷ ͝ ꒦ ͝ ꒷꒦ ͝ ꒷

↳ ੈ‧₊˚ It's been way too long since I wrote something in my drafts I'm so sorry

but like- I'm finishing requests now so.. yay

I'm tired as heck rn I'm gonna sleep 🚶‍♀️

Take care everyone ♡

~ Mod Toko 💜

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Hello! I'd like a matchup please! 🙆🏽‍♀️ I'm a 164cm; Virgo sun; Leo rising; INFJ-A with a knack for literature, online shopping, and playing Nintendo. Ever since I was young I've had aspirations of becoming an author and traveling the world to learn language and culture. Now, I have a desk full of drafts, and I'm currently planning to study abroad in Hokkaido next year! Yay 🎉! Fun facts: I have the tendency to overthink, and autumn is my fav season. I'd like fluff but NSFW is fine too. Ty!

Hi lovey!! I think that you sound so cute!! My coworker is a published author and I hear all of her struggles with all of the things you mentioned and I know that you will do great things with your work!!!

Match-ups closed

Send me good vibes please! 

I ship you with…. Oikawa

Okay so you two actually met at a lecture on modern writing and how to make the things you write better and more personable and he was there for how to learn to say better things to the media and you were there to learn things for your books and it was super interesting but as it finished a beautiful brunet asked for your number because he thought that you were absolutely gorgeous and the rest was history. You two talked a lot about books and writing at first but then you started to get deeper into the conversation and he turned out to be really nice. You never thought that you would fall for a professional athlete but here you were in love with a volleyball boy. The first couple of dates were super fun but also a little superficial because you still didn’t know each other but then he started asking you more and more questions about your books and started giving you suggestions on how to edit it and what to add or take away and it was all really nice and also super valuable feedback. 

Oikawa is the type of bf to include you in everything and will tell you everything that he is doing so that he doesn’t break your trust and that he doesn’t want you to worry about him like he even gets in the habit of texting you when he is going to stay late and practice and offers to bring home food with him for the two of you and he really gets better at watching how late he is out because he knows that you worry about him but also knows that you support him no matter what and you will take care of him but also scold him for making himself tired the next day and not getting enough sleep 

He loves the fall with you like the two of you are the perfect Instagram couple like he takes you apple picking and to pumpkin patches and loves raking in the leaves with the two fo you and is super sweet and loves getting sure that he is going to take super cute pictures of the two of you and he loves them so much like you are his screen saver and he also gets his favorite pictures of you printed and hangs them on the wall and just thinks that you are so cute 

Oh my gosh when your packages arrive at the door he teases you like no one else like he is going to shake it and guess if you got ANOTHER pair of pants or if it was just another thing that you really don’t need like he is going to laugh at you but he also gets things from online too so even though he makes fun of you he does the same thing so it’s only fair 

He thinks that you are so cute when you play games like he is going to smile and watch you play a lot but he is really bad at all games like he gets lost and has no idea where to go but he is so sweet and he is going to be so cute like he lays his head in your lap and will watch you play and helps you with really simple things like he learns to love animal crossing like he is going to be super sweet and dresses up his character and falls in love with Ketchup and Apollo and the two of you get a 5-star island really quickly and it is so fun like you two will wear matching outfits and walk around the island 

Like he is never going to give you any reason to overthink and if you ever feel like he is neglecting you he gets super sad and super worried because he is so loyal to you and he is going to be so sweet if you ever do like he kisses you and just gives you the whole wide world and just takes extra time for you and he is going to be 

When he gets the invite to argentine he asks you immediately if you want to come with him because he knows how much you want to travel the world and bring your books and work on them while he is at practice and get to see the country and travel with him during the weekends and the local cuisines after practice 

He supports your love of travel because he loves it too like when he gets breaks from practice he goes everywhere with you and treats you to the nicest places 

When you finally publish your book he is so supportive of it and will help you with PR and getting it out there like he talks about it all the time and he is super cheeky and cute like he makes you sign his copy and won’t let you spoil it to him until he’s done reading it but he really already knows everything because you have told him all about it and he is so sweet