#but i'm probably not the only one who hasn't seen it (yet) bc they got into thai ql later

[wherebettertoescape]

Thoughts on The Outsiders Album

Okay, as I said yesterday, I have a LOT of thoughts on the album and I decided to revive this page so I stop bothering everyone IRL with my thoughts about it 😂 I figure there must be a good amount of people on tumblr who are down to listen to my rants about the album, so here goes.

I'll put it under a cut so there aren't any spoilers for anyone who hasn't listened yet, and I know there's one or two things which I've heard about the prouction via other posts and such. But I will stress that I haven't actually seen it, I've only listened to the album and obsessed over it 😂

It's also below the cut because it's fucking LOOOOONG

Please reply to this or send in your own thoughts - I have so much I want to talk about to do with this album and I'm like... shaking with the need to talk about it with people who actually want to listen 😂

(sad times living in the UK 🥲)

I'm gonna go through the album sequentially, like track by track, because that feels like the thing to do, even though I will say right off that I definitely have more thoughts about some tracks than others. And I will also give my favourite line from each song. But for a just, like, general overview to begin with - I love the album so much?

I will fully admit that I was kinda preparing myself for it to be bad - it's a book that I love and I wasn't the biggest fan of the movie adaptation for a few key reasons, but I was so pleasantly surprised by the musical soundtrack.

I'm in love with the style of music, I love the entire cast (all of them have such different singing voices and styles and I think that they merge together so beautifully), and it has most of the things that I love in a musical - for me, it's got the right balance of the talking sections included with the singing, as well, which I know some people aren't huge fans of, but I might be biased because Soda is and always has been my favourite character and most of the talking is by him 😂 (I love Jason Schmidt, but we'll talk about that later), and as well as that the style of music and singing like gives me a good picture of what the actual choreography might look like, which I'm obsessed with, since I probably won't get to see it unless it somehow gets to the West End (🤞🏻)

Tulsa '67

Okay so this song is just like ✨exposition ✨ but it's done in a fun way, and I've decided it's worth it just for the finale reprise

I was also like stupidly emotional the first time I heard it and it opened with the opening line of the book

I was wary because of the immediate characterisation of Sodapop as being the brother "with a broken heart" (side note - does this mean Sandy broke his heart before the show rather than after it? I've goes QUESTIONS) - I'll go into it again when we get into Grease Got a Hold for obvious reasons, but I was worried that Soda was gonna be reduced into just being a womaniser again, which is something that bothered me about the movie adaptation

Favourite line: "all the girls are pretty there, and all the guys are mean"

Grease Got a Hold

right so it has no right to be as much of a bop as it is, it's been stuck in my head for the past week since it came out and I can't even be mad about it 😂

It's essentially just a typical "gang" song to introduce and characterise all the different members

Dally always saying "Little brother" got me so emotional like immediately

And I know I just said that I was upset with Soda's characterisation as a womaniser, but considering later songs, I will say I do find it really funny that he basically just goes "yeah I'm a greaser bc I love women 😊"

I LOVE TWO-BIT MATTHEWS - I would die for Daryl Tofa, just something soooooo good about the line he gives after Soda's verse

I have to admit, I was a little worried that they were gonna be pushing some anti-Darry propaganda, but I had no cause to worry, as he's an actual angel. Also it's so funny how fucking Done he is the moment he starts speaking

Something really funny about Steve not getting a verse, but something really sad about Johnny not getting one, but I don't have fully fleshed out thoughts yet so I'm gonna leave that there

But also there's just something about all of them trying to act tough, but all of them just have the voices of angels

Favourite line: "I'm a latch-key kid but they keep changing the locks" and also "you wanna be a fighter? then know just what you're fighting for"

Runs in the Family

I'm upset because this song has been such an ear-worm for me, but it's actually just so sad? There are a couple of these, but this is one of the main ones for me

It immediately makes Darry just such a sympathetic character - it's well documented that Ponyboy doesn't feel like he's enough of a greaser, but I don't think we talk enough about Darry is a reluctant greaser

Side note: but I'm really glad that they included Darry having dropped out of school to look after Soda and Pony, because that was kinda glossed over in the movie, which I felt did Darry a disservice

I just want to hug Brent Comer and tell Darry that he's doing a good job and everything will be okay 🥲

Favourite line: "I don't know what them boys would ever do without me - and what would I do on my own?"

Great Expectations

honestly this song deserves a post all of it's own, and maybe one day I'll do a full analysis of it

but in the meantime, it's fucking GORGEOUS, like Brody Grant has NO RIGHT to sound like this I'm so mad

THE FUCKING HARMONIES I WANNA SCREAM THEY'RE SO GOOD

One of the things I've loved about the soundtrack in general is how Pony in particular draws parallels and comparrisons between Johnny and the other greasers - here it's between Darry and Johnny, and I love it because Pony references in the book that he feels like he and Johnny are the outsiders in the greasers, he feels like neither of them really belong there, and they convey that so well in the musical with these constant comparisons in the songs and music

The continual return back to this idea of a self-fulfilling prophechy - trying to prove that they're not all the same just because they're greasers (like with the different verses in Grease Got a Hold), and this striving for individuality despite the overarching label they've been given

Favourite line: "It's hard to write this story, when this story's writing me"

Friday at the Drive-in

they all just sound so young - that's my main take-away from this song

I love songs in musicals like this where you're forced to be reminded how young the characters are and you have to humanise them a bit more - a bit like with "Drink with Me" in Les Mis

Also anytime that a soundtrack includes the dance-break it makes me so happy 🥲

Favourite Line: "Got no more stress, nothing to worry me - no more teacher's pet or trigonometry"

I Could Talk to You All Night

I need to say that I love this song, but the opening from Cherry is so fucking savage - like fucking hell there's no need to do that to Pony 😂

Again obsessed with Pony not feeling like enough of a Greaser

I'm a sucker for two people who feel lost in their own worlds finding each other and bonding because they can be themselves in a way that they can never be around their other friends

It's just such a pretty duet, and I want more of Brody Grant and Emma Pittman singing - we could have a million songs of the two of them and it wouldn't be enough

Favourite line: "I'd rather read then fight a rumble, but Greasers have to go along"

Runs in the Family (Reprise)

Dude it's such a serious song, and I'm obsessed that despite that there's just Soda being a little shit in the background

"I'll fold your laundry - I'LL FOLD ALL OF IT"

I love that even in this song it's like you can tell he's just so worried about Pony but it's coming out so angry and frustrated

So full of grief for the life he almost had

He's just so angry at Pony for still being able to dream, and it's like he feels like he needs to prepare Pony for real life, because he feels like he can't dream or wish for things anymore

And then just the screeching violin at the end of the song followed by DEAD FUCKING SILENCE, and then it switches to the next song where Pony starts singing acapella it's just herugighadlsiughukdhjsak, y'know?

Favourite line: "Whats the use in dreaming, about a life I'll never know? That ship sailed long ago"

Far Away from Tulsa

okay so I've already said that I'm obsessed with it beginning with Brody Grant acapella, and I know that the songs probably don't flow straight from one to the other in the actual production, but for the sake of the cast recording the effect is incredible

But also, there was absolutely no need to make this song so gay 😂 - Ponyboy, the bisexual icon we all need

It's very reminiscent of Santa Fe, with just kids dreaming for a life that they could have outside of their big city. Especially with the line "this place is real, it's not just in my head", which is VERY similar to "just be real is all I'm asking, not some painting in my head", but I'm okay with it because Brody Grant is incredible

But that line, as well as the one "'Ponyboy you're just a dreamer', that's what both my brothers say" are also really great links back to the previous song with the references of him being a dreamer, and that being what sets him apart from the other Greasers

I also just wanna say that I think it's criminal that there weren't more Pony/Johnny duets. Sky Lakota-Lynch and Brody Grant own my soul

Also catch me being emotional over Johnny's dream being wanting a family - he doesn't realise that he's already got one in the gang 🥺 (I could write an essay about this and Dally's continued use of 'little brother')

OKAY ALSO OBSESSED WITH THE CIRCLE BACK TO GREAT EXPECTATIONS, AND WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW THE LYRICS CHANGE FROM

"Torn between what is and what could be. It's hard to write this story when this story's writing me"

TO

"It's all becoming clear, there's no way we're gonna find that here"

GOTTA ESCAPE TULSA TO ESCAPE THEIR FATE, SOMETHING AGAIN ABOUT SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES, I JUST CAN'T

Favourite line: "I'm tired of blindly watching as we're inching towards the ground"

Run Run Brother

There's so much to say about this song, but I literally can't formulate the words, so it's probably gonna be one that I come back to and properly analyse later. so in the meantime, here are my key take-aways

right from the beginning, it gives just an "oh-shit" feeling, just so much urgency and desperation

All three of them have such different singing voices and styles and the combination of the three just makes me so happy and I don't even know how to like express what I'm feeling

Back to the thing about Dally always calling Johnny (and Pony, but we're emotional about Johnny here) "brother"

the music is just so fitting - I feel like I need to be up and moving every time I hear it, like if I ran ever this would be on the playlist 😂

And I'm going insane over the echoes of what has been previously been said - the "grease isn't given it's something you earn", and "let's leave this behind, let's just get up and go" like you're FORCED to face that they are being given what they want but in a really terrible way

Favourite line: "I hate to make you go, but there ain't no other way"

Justice for Tulsa

okay so I know that this is a really important song and everything, but I will admit this is the one I tend to skip most

I will say I think this song would hit harder if they kept with the themes of police brutality that there are in the novel and movie with regards to Dally's death (going off what I've heard about the script changes from people who have seen it, I can't verify myself)

The song feels very claustrophobic, with everyone just trying to blame everyone else, which I think is really well done. Especially with the multiple voices coming in with "you know just what you did"

And it does show the bias of the world trying to blame the Greasers just by reputation alone, which is thematically nice

and also just the kinda mob mentality of the whole thing, especially at the end, with a declaration of war

Favourite line: "or we could send them back a message, take an eye for an eye"

Death's at My Door

I think I've seen somewhere that this is the opening song for the second act and I just - fucking hell, what an opener 😂 they really just wanna destroy all of us, huh?

EDIT: I've been corrected, and it's Justice for Tulsa that starts act 2 - my bad guys, I don't know where I saw otherwise. JfT starting act 2 makes soo much more sense 😂

I wanted to like reach through my headphones somehow and hug Brody Grant, like holy shit

The first time I heard it all I could think about was how much he's going to blame himself when Johnny (and Dally) do die - especially with Johnny having comforted Pony about it

And I'm just emotional about the exploration of Pony thinking of himself as a burden on everyone he loves, especially going back to what Darry says to him in Runs in the Family reprise, just confirming everything that Pony already worries about himself

Favourite line: "I don't believe in the death that you're bringing - the reason I'm living is you"

Throwing in the Towel

I just love brothers okay? This song made me want to like message all my siblings and tell them I love them

I loved that we see Pony's inner thoughts and fears about being a burden on his brothers, immediately followed by seeing Darry's own thoughts and feelings - the two of them being so similar in how they blame themselves for everything

All three of the Curtis brothers being terrified of losing anyone else

AND THIS IS THE SODA CHARACTER REDEPTION I NEEDED - he becomes more than just the womaniser, you can see him having like actual thought and feelings, and the amount of emotion in Jason Schmidt's voice as he's trying to reassure Darry, like this song and Soda's letter gets across everything that makes Soda my favourite character

And there's something to be said about how they're finally like communicating their emotions 😂

Favourite line: "I know your head is full of doubt, but brother that's what love is all about"

Soda's Letter

Musical letters my beloved ❤️

I love songs like these - they're always just so vulnerable

It links to Tulsa '67 Reprise with the reference to how Soda kinda keeps the family all together. This song you can like see the strain that it has on him, trying to keep the brothers who he loves so much together, by trying to tell Pony that Darry does love him even though he shows it in a very different way

also anyone who has seen it and made it this far in the post can you tell me whether they keep in the bit about Pony reading this really heartfelt letter only to go "Soda's so dumb he can't fucking spell" because it's all I could think about when I listened to it for the first time

Favourite line: "Your brother needs you just as much as you need him, and brother we ain't doing to good alone"

Hoods Turned Heroes

The triumphant return of my beloved Two-Bit, and he's doing some king shit

I love him, okay?

This is another song where I know it's really important, but I actually don't have much to say about it, other than I do really enjoy it

Favourite line: "It's time to celebrate Greasers, take pride in the Greaser name"

Hopeless War

I love that it's just Cherry begging Pony not to change, and hoping that he's still an outsider of the Greasers like she is for the Socs, a hope that the two of them are still kindred spirits even after everything that happened

She knows that the rumble is gonna be where Pony loses that last bit of dreamer in him because he's holding just so much anger at the world - I dunno, there's something there I'm sure 😂

it's such a smooth transition into "Trouble" and I wanna SCREAM it's so good

Favourite line: "even if you win, it doesn't change a thing"

Trouble

It feels like a war chant or something

The music is just so agitated

It's like Run Run Brother where I feel the need to be up and moving

Favourite line: "Do it for Johnny, even the scores, time to rally the crew"

Little Brother

I get chills every time I listen to it

Something about Joshua Boone's voice guys, I don't even know like how someone goes about beginning to talk about it, but whoever takes over as Dally has got some big shoes to fill

It's a lament to Johnny, and I feel like I listen to it and I feel the same anger and indignation that Dally feels

It's a song where I listen to it and I know, even without having seen the production, how I'd stage it and that always makes me excited

The longer the song goes on, the more uneasy you feel listening to it

It links him and Darry together again, with how he blames himself for everything that happened to his little brother, he feels like he should have been able to protect Johnny, the way that Darry always tries to protect Ponyboy

The final tempo increase and the discordant violin at the end, and it feels like even just listening to it you're watching him fall into a grief-led madness, and his certainty that there's only one way that his story can end

Favourite line: "They can't take anymore from me - if I ain't got you, then I ain't got nothing else"

Stay Gold

It feels somehow criminal to put these songs next to each other, but I mean obviously they have to be - that's how they want you to feel, but it doesn't mean that I'm not mad about it

I've listened to it like a million times and it still brings me to tears every now and then

There's something about having the hopelessness of "Little Brother", with Dally bring so apologetic at having failed Johny, followed by Johnny asking Pony to tell him that there's still good in the world

Just how much everyone in this story needs each other and they don't realise that the others need them too, yknow?

Johnny being Dally's "gold" - a lot to say about that but yknow, this is already long as fuck

The simplicity of the music itself (same as with Soda's letter - makes them thematically the same blah blah blah with them both being letters and all that), but it makes the song much more vulnerable than some of the others - nothing for Sky Lakota-Lynch to hide behind

Also that line: "I have looked into a thankful father's eyes, telling me I've saved his daughters life", and how that links to what Johnny says in the book about the little girl's life being worth more than his - I dunno, it just got me emotional, okay?

Favourite line: "I hold on to the good 'cause I've made my peace with all the bad" and also "It's easy to forget when you're trying just to make it through"

Tulsa '67 Reprise

WE MADE IT BOYS (seriously though, for real, if you made it this far, thanks for reading through my descent into madness 😂 and please send your own thoughts and such, bc I'm desperate to hear other people's thoughts)

I said it at the beginning, but I think the reprise of this song makes the exposition at the beginning worth it

At the beginning we hear Ponyboy as a dreamer, and at the end he still has that, but rather than idolising and making everything spectacular, he sees beauty in the mundane - he sees it in his brothers, his friends, all of that

The call backs to the original song as well, which allow us to go back to the theme of looking at individuality - the Greasers wanting to be seen as more than just characatures, and by the end they are like fully-fleshed out people rather than just the basic stock figures we initially get them introduced as in Grease Got a Hold

The clearest examples are, of course, Darry and Soda

Darry goes from being "could have been a football star, people say he had a ticket out" to instead being "the toughest guy I've ever known"

Soda goes from "suffers from a broken heart" to "this family's life and soul"

and then it goes from "got no parents, we fend for ourselves" to "can you imagine how proud mum and dad would be"

just something so beautiful about that, I dunno

There's more I could say about the themes of brotherhood and individuality ("grease as their disguise", for example), but I'll spare it for now

Favourite line: "Just too damn good for growing old, and in his memory I stay gold"

(finally - if you've stuck around to the end, I've also recently set up an instagram account, just for me, so please also check that out if you wanna hear more about my thoughts about random musicals and stuff!)

Freddie 🐸 (Instagram)

[hellobitchlet]

Thoughts on Kinich's quest:

- from the moment the quest started, where Kinich revealed that Trindad wants to kill the Mountain King, and Paimon and Traveler immedietaly went to "Oh no! Killing = bad!", with no mention of Enjou or Ajaw whatsoever, I knew this quest wasn't going to be as good as I hoped. I don't know why I had hope in the first place.

- I like Kinich accidentally entering a beastly rift and doing his own research on abyss stuff, without automatically knowing the names for things like most characters. It was pretty neat to watch him explain beastly rifts to Traveler and Paimon while referring to riftwolves as "purple dogs". It made me feel like I understood how his brain works a little better.

- actually, the funny thing about Kinich, as a Natlan character, being the one to do this research is that Natlan is the nation that is at war with the abyss. Like. This is literally the only nation where it would make sense for the average person to know what riftwolves are. This isn't reeeally a complaint, I just find it funny.

- I'm really not a fan of how killing the Mountain King was automatically seen as bad despite their suffering bc tradition is 'more important', but to be fair to the main conflict, it would've been much worse if we were supposed to see Trindad as a bad person. The writers didn't villainize him for not wanting his people to die bc of a tradition, and his point of view was treated as equal to the npc's that Traveler and Paimon agreed with, and that is pretty good for a Genshin npc.

- though, I am a little suspicious about how they're suddenly willing to do this for a light skinned npc, when Mualani's quest villainized a brown skinned npc in the same update.

- I do actually like the Turnfire Night plot. One of the only things I like about Natlan is that it combines the abyss lore and nation world building more than other places. I just feel like the writers can't decide whether they want Kinich to be morally gray (sending the MK to the ABYSS just to avoid killing it to Avoid Drama) or have great morals like the rest of the cast (Traveler and Paimon being so focused on killing = bad that they don't have a problem with this).

- I am extremely annoyed at the fact that a decent chunk of this quest was spent helping npc's and giving Traveler over-the-top praise while Kinich did the actually important stuff. I don't care about these guys! I care about Enjou and the abyss! This isn't even about the turnfire night! We already do this kind of stuff in every single world and archon quest, for fucks sake!

- why do we learn how Kinich and Ajaw met from a random npc? Who just brings it up out of nowhere?? Why??

- it's not that important I guess, but Kinich calling Paimon gentle natured was the stupidest thing ever. I can forgive him bc he's comparing her to Ajaw and hasn't seen her be bitchy yet, but please don't tell me that the writers actually see her like that. She's an asshole.

- in comparison to the Turnfire Night plot, what little we got of Enjou and Ajaw was suuuuper interesting. I am loving whatever they have going on (and Ajaw's lore overall), and I wish we got more of it instead of fooling around with less important npc's. I am very glad that Enjou is back, but that makes it sadder that he's probably going to be forgotten about again.

- it took me a second to realize that his name changed to The Thing Calling Itself "Sanka". That's a neat little detail.

- "cliche, I know - the hero's trusted partner sells him out to the Abyss in a shocking act of betrayal. Cue bad-guy speech and drawn-out death sequence..." "Abyss Boarding School" "I could never beat you in a straight-up fight, but when it comes to running away, I won't lose to anyone" Enjou I love you.

- my favorite part of this entire quest is probably the fact that Enjou now, officially, has a relationship to a playable character other than Traveler. And man, is it a fun one. Deadpan, serious Kinich caught between silly little assholes Ajaw and Enjou both wanting to take his body is really fun. If Genshin itself refuses to expand on his relationship to Ajaw and Kinich, then I better see the fandom doing it instead.

- back to the Turnfire Night stuff, it's convenient that the Mountain King isn't corrupted anymore and decided to live. I wonder if the ending was just done like that bc the writers weren't sure what to do with a story where one side isn't necessarily wrong. Overall though, it's not that bad, just boring.

I'm enjoying making these overall thoughts posts. Maybe I should make more? There's no guarantee of me doing every single archon quest and story quest, though. Especially when I'm focusing on both Genshin and hsr.

[super-paper]

"Thank you for such wonderful comedy."

I've been wanting to talk about how MHA plays with the concepts of "fiction vs reality, the characters vs the actor, the world vs the stage" for awhile now, bc I believe understanding how MHA utilizes these concepts is pretty crucial to understanding our Big Bad (and Tomura!) (...and Izuku!) (.. etc!) (y-yeah...!!!) (wooo.....!!!!!)

If this post is more incoherent than usual, I apologize-- I'm just really enthusiastic about stories that play with the fact that they're stories and characters who throw themselves into a fictionalized role as a means of coping. I love the way MHA handles these concepts in particular, so I lost all sense of restraint as usual.

Hori: "I'm Like Dropping Hints That Hero/Villain Personas Are Actually Coping Mechanisms Lol"

"As Tomura Shigaraki and Tenko Shimura, I've got just one wish: the total destruction of everything that created that house." "If my origin as Touya and Dabi was such a simple thing, then... No, there are still things I want to say. Arguments I want to have."

I've seen a few ppl saying that it sounds awkward/strange to have the characters repeatedly asserting themselves in the third person, but imo, the emphasis on real names versus hero/villain names during these particular scenes plays into the idea of the villain/hero identities being "alter egos" that might not actually have the same core desires as the """"actors"""" that are behind these personas.

Tomura and Touya invoke both their real and villain names while asserting their respective wishes. Himiko also invokes her villain name, though it's less obvious to english speakers because she uses her real name as her villain name (in the raws, "HIMIKO TOGA" as a villain name is written using katakana-- and this is what she uses when asserting her wish). MHA plays with the idea of "fiction"/"Alter Egos" as a form of escapism and as a coping method, and at this point in time, the Dabi/Tomura/"Himiko" identities are still being utilized as a crutch/mask by these three very hurt individuals.

*loud, terrifying chanting* PEAK FICTION PEAK FICTION PE--

Ochako's fight being like the second most thematically important fight in the whole series still makes me unreasonably giddy btw.

To contrast, Ochako uses her civilian name alone when asserting her wish-- and imo we're meant to read this as Ochako wanting to save Himiko as herself, not as Uravity. Saving Himiko is not something she can accomplish as her alter-ego-- Ochako is able to save Himiko by stepping off the stage and becoming a "real" person, while also acknowledging the person behind "Toga Himiko (villain name)".

Izuku hasn't had his "I'm Izuku Midoriya"/"I'm-saving-you-as-Izuku-not-as-Deku" moment yet-- instead, we see Tomura intentionally making that distinction between the-hero-and-the-true-self by constantly referring to Izuku by his real, full name. And I'm pr sure Izuku is also the only one he does this to-- we see him referring to all the other heroes he encounters by their hero names alone, or by insulting nicknames (l-lol). Correct me if I'm wrong, tho!

(side note: Tomura switching to calling Izuku just "Hero" in the aftermath of Bakugate is actually a big step backwards imo-- it reads as Tomura trying to push Izuku away by shoving them both back in the hero/villain box and doubling down on enforcing their respective "roles." Not that I ever expected mister doomdere to make things easy, but, woof. Good Fuckin' Luck, Izuku ( ´･ω･) )

TL;DR The final arc has mostly been about tearing off the hero/villain masks to reveal who is hiding underneath— MHA's careful use of names and monikers plays heavily into that and its distinction between "alter-ego"/"true self" a lot. Which is... probably one of the many reasons why All For One still doesn't have a given name, as someone who has all but completely lost himself in his character.

Anyway! That brings us to the meat of this post: how does MHA take the concepts of "reality vs fiction" and "the character vs. the actor" and apply it to All For One (...and Tomura) (and Izuku--)?

"Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain!"

"If you refuse to submit, then I'll just rewrite the story." - it's amazing how all of this coulda been avoided if someone had just introduced AFO to Demon Lord x Reader fanfiction. (/j)

AFO fancies himself as the author of MHA's greatest tragedy (the desecration of Shimura Nana's legacy via the sacrifice of Shimura Tenko), while simultaneously inserting himself into its overarching narrative and treating himself as the leading villain of the story-- it's self-indulgent and intentionally invasive in the way that most self-insert fanfiction tends to be invasive, with him going to extremes to make it seem as though the whole story revolves around him. AFO wants to be both the author and the leading character and the leading antagonist. This greed is typical of him, but it also establishes him as a character who's more caught up in (read: trapped by) his relationship to "fiction" than anyone else. Again, MHA explores the use of fiction and alter-egos as an escape from a painful reality-- so, it's entirely reasonable to assume that this applies to AFO as well.

To me, so much about AFO reads as an escapist fantasy of someone who is utterly terrified of being put in a position where he is truly seen. The idea of being vulnerable, of being naked, of being "human," is intolerable to him. But by not allowing himself to feel and "be a human," he has effectively cut himself off from what he wants most. The character of “Shigaraki Tomura” is as much an escapist fantasy for AFO as it is Tenko-- It's just another (younger, prettier) layer of skin he can hide his true self in.

"so basically you're saying that AFO is a never nude" yes, actually :)

AFO dehumanizes Tomura through his attempts to turn the boy into his personal comic book character, but he also dehumanizes himself by desperately trying to insert himself into that “character." It's only fitting that Tomura’s innate humanity and capacity for feeling ends up rendering AFO himself painfully, painfully human-- and ultimately causes AFO's carefully constructed character to start crumbling.

If All the World’s a Stage, Then Let’s Destroy the Stage

"That stage is gone now. The theater's knocked down. How much longer can we afford to be spectators on the sideline?" "Once upon a time, a man named All Might showed all of us how to be a hero. But somewhere along the way, people forgot about the heart and soul that made the man." -MHA, Chapter 325

Tomura is attempting to destroy the stage, because without the stage there can be no "Shigaraki Tomura" (Or "All Might," or "All For One," or "Endeavor," etc etc etc). Without the stage, there are no more "characters" and no more tragedies. But-- without the stage, there are no more stories period. There are no more tragedies, but there are no more happy endings either. The world never recognizes the actor behind "Shigaraki Tomura" without the stage. The stage is not inherently a bad thing, so long as people can remember that the actors on the stage still exist outside of it.

But Tomura himself cannot imagine what happens after the curtains fall, and all that's left is Shimura Tenko. He is stuck in a role that was written entirely for someone else, but remains convinced that the role was always his and that the role defines him.

Tomura rebels against the story the only way he knows how--against an "author" who *LITERALLY* views him as a spicier self insert, and against a "setting" that treats his death as a happy ending-- but even so, Tomura still can't picture an ending that doesn't end in tragedy. His rebellion is not about him trying to wring a happy ending out of a miserable, mean-spirited book-- it's about burning the whole damn library down so he never feels let down or hurt by a story again.

Basically: Tomura cannot act outside the confines of his "character" in a way that will truly save him. Even as he rebels, he's rebelling in a way that is painfully consistent with the way his "character" is written-- and that's why AFO (the author) still poses such an enormous threat to him. Destruction cannot save him from this story when he was explicitly penned to destroy.

The only way to break this narrative is to act in a way "the author" doesn't expect, and to tap into all the traits that AFO desperately attempted to "write out" of him-- Shimura Tenko is someone who has always rebelled against his writing, his author, and the unfairness of this story with his kindness and his willingness to accept those that no one else will.

AFO cuts off Tenko's own power at the root by reinforcing Tomura's belief that the world will always inherently reject him, without fail, always and forever-- so he should just reject the world, too (and I've talked at length about this before, but this is why a story that ends with Tomura dying or locked away from society is an ending that fails in its goal to save Tomura). The more Shigaraki Tomura rejects everything and the more Shigaraki Tomura is rejected by everything, the more he distances himself from his root and the source of his power-- and the more Shimura Tenko gets lost in this character.

While AFO is terrified of someone seeing behind his mask, Tomura longs for it. Tenko has been there since the beginning and has been begging for someone to finally see and acknowledge him (both in-universe and out of universe).

"I’ll Be There, Changing Fate by Your Side."

AFO: "Blah Blah Blah Do you still believe myths can save you? Foolish creature. Let me be clear: every version of the story ends with you being slaughtered yadda yadda yadda :) :) :)" ENTER, MIDORIYA IZUKU WITH A STEEL CHAIR.

Izuku's role is that of a completely average boy who gets pulled into a narrative ''that wasn't for him"-- he has no heroic lineage, no hidden powers, and no connection to the centuries old conflict that drives the plot. He's just a boy who did the right thing at the right time and was rewarded for it. Izuku is someone who was "never supposed to be a hero" the same way Tenko was "never supposed to be a villain" per the "rules" of their world-- and Izuku, like Tomura, is someone who exists to destroy those rules and the expectations of their narrative, completely changing the ending.

But rather than burning the book and ending the story forever (like Tomura wants to do), Izuku believes that the story and characters can still be salvaged. There's always something worth saving. It doesn't have to be a tragedy, they can still change the ending. They can talk specifics after Tomura's crazy ass puts the lighter down.

Izuku, like Tomura and so many other characters, throws himself into an alter-ego in an attempt to redefine himself and escape from pain ("Nobody's been saved yet. Don't be the worthless old Deku who can't save anyone" 😬). He almost loses himself in the role of "OFA's torch bearer" the way All Might did-- but just as Izuku managed to find Toshinori Yagi and helped in convincing him that his life as Toshinori has meaning, Izuku ends up getting saved by his friends who couldn't care less about OFA's ~protagonist power~ and know that Izuku is just a goofy, awkward, human boy who needs help.

Like.... If we explore quirklessness as like... a narrative stand-in for characters that the story typically views or dismisses as irrelevant extras/npcs, then AFO's barely restrained anger at Izuku and Toshi (and possibly Yoichi if we're being honest) for daring to ''act beyond their roles'' becomes even funnier. AFO can't stand the idea of his power/the protagonist role being passed on to someone who seems so utterly unworthy, unremarkable, and plain. He can't stand the idea of someone without a quirk/"role" standing up to him, the leading character. Dude really is a toxic comic book fan to the core.

afo really said "I didn't like how things were going so I stopped reading and just wrote a better ending to the story :^)" like...... @mhareddit that's u buddy...........................;

Anyway...........!!!!! AFO is someone who cherry picks what he likes about a story while ignoring the actual intent/message of the work (#theabsolutestateofthemhafandom), but he has no intention of breaking down the dichotomy between heroes/villains and instead actively enforces it (.............#theabsolutestateofthemhafan--). He just wants to flip what side wins in the end.

Tomura wants to break the narrative because he sees that as the only way to escape from his pain (but in doing so, he permanently cuts himself off from being a part of a story with a happy ending). He wants to destroy the dichotomy between heroes and villains because heroes and villains "will never understand each other and never stop creating each other" (lol. lmao, even).

Izuku wants to break the narrative because he's realized that there's something more to this story than your standard "Hero versus Villain," "good vs evil" affair and that he cannot explore what lies behind those masks and labels without tearing them down, first.

These three work together well as a narrative set of Fucking Nerds, and AFO works well as both Tomura and Izuku's villain for all of the above reasons (& also bc he's the only one who is actually benefitting from their current society) ((which basically offers him an endless buffet of hurt and angry children he can exploit on a silver platter)).

Anyway! Kick his ass, Izuku.

[dnpbeats]

Do u think one of them has ever wanted to hard launch and the other one was like nah? I feel like they must have had that conversation at some point!

hmm. i mean yeah i'm certain they had the conversation. even in 2009 when they were really open about things, they never actually explicitly said they were together (i mean obvs everyone could guess and i don't think they cared, but like they must have made the decision to have a sliver of plausible deniability left*). and then i'm sure they continued to have many conversations about it, it's not really a one and done type of convo espc with their careers

i'd say, do i think one of them has wanted to hard launch when the other hasn't? no. do i think one of them would have been neutral about hard launching when the other hasn't? honestly... also no. like we all know why dan didn't want to come out (generally and also in terms of his and phil's relationship, "what me and phil had was ours and personal and yet some people were trying to get access to it for their own satisfaction"). we also know that phil is super private (from dan, from phil himself, and just from observation). i think phil didn't (doesn't?) want to hard launch not bc of the gay relationship aspect but because of the "it's my personal life and 4 million people don't need to know about it" aspect. so yeah honestly from what i've seen and what they've said i feel like they've probably been on pretty much the same page about coming out? but ofc at the end of the day i only see what they present to us, so i could be totally way off base

*making this a footnote bc this is off topic but i just remembered phil's story about getting outed to his friends back home bc of the dating website. and then ofc dan's issue of not being out to his family/college friends. so i wonder if they in 2009 were fine with flirting online bc they didnt care if like random ppl on dailybooth and twitter knew they were together, but if anyone who knew them irl saw and like tried to out dan to his parents or some shit (as some ppl are wont to do), he could do some handwaving to explain it away :( like ok now i'm just making shit up but also dan was like. way more overtly flirty than phil was (though phil did his fair share himself) so do u think that phil had to sit 18 year old dan down and tell him how he got outed to irl ppl bc of the internet and how they had to watch what they said online 😭😭😭😭😭

[realcube]

RANDOM MATCHUPS

✦ for @4unnyr0se

✦ tw: i have no clue what i'm talking about

BAKUGO KATSUKI — my hero academia

✦ hmm i imagine his love language starts out as quality time but when you guys get more comfortable together (and he gets busier with pro hero work) it'll become physical touch

✦ and you're gift giving love language makes you so compatible with him because he's accept the gift like 'thanks.. i guess??' but inside his heart is racing and he'd keep all the trinkets you give him in a small box in his cupboard that he secretly cherishes but (unlike physical touch or words of affirmation etc) it means he gets to keep his 'tough guy' look in front of you

✦ also something i noticed is the nicknames you give lmao

✦ 'pookie princess' I'M DEAD imagining you call bakugo that 😭

✦ 'WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO !?!?'

✦ he'd be so angry yet so flustered

✦ also the fact you are a sarcastic is good but you're going to need that wit to combat bakugo's mouthiness lol

✦ omg and when something annoying happens, like a fast food place getting your order wrong or the delivery driver dropping it off at the wrong address, bakugo would be immediately pissed and you'd be like a voice of reason trying to calm him down but as soon as those workers try to get sassy with you two, chaos ensues lol

✦ like everyone else would know you are a couple not to be messed with

✦ so competitive and would try to out-spice you all the time and lose 💔

OSAMU DAZAI — bungo stray dogs

✦ i literally have not watched bsd in so long

✦ but i do think this man fits the majority of your criteria

✦ bc in terms of personality, you are kinda similar to kunikida (smart but scary at times)

✦ but with qualities that would help you and dazai get on a lot better than how he does with kunikida (like you're sarcastic and he would find that so charming. and a lot less serious, for example, how you'd rather do a casual house date than a formal one)

✦ dazai is shocked when you invite him to your house bc thats probably his first ever date that's not in a bar LOL

✦ but good idea to keep him in your house and away from other woman.. with the way that man behaves

✦ but what shocks him even more is home much he enjoys himself like??

✦ so lowkey yet so romantic and intimate, and you're so much fun to talk to so he doesn't get bored for even a second

✦ he's a changed man 😌 (kinda)

✦ the only thing is that you said you didn't want to date clown and unfortunately dazai is the ultimate clown..

✦ but you can change him!! you did it once, after all

TŌRU OIKAWA — haikyuu!!

✦ ok maybe i'm on drugs but HERE ME OUTTT

✦ you said you give good advice and TRUST this man needs it

✦ you are like the whole reason he hasn't taken a selfie with his middle finger up and tagged the whole swedish adlers team (#i'm so done with you nerds #kawa-chan out!)

✦ omg and we've seen how he is with iwa

✦ so when you get angry on his behalf (after he tells you about the audacity of first year tobio kageyama, or the whole 'should've come to shiratorizawa' thing) and you start angrily tweeting, he's like 'yes! let them have it!'

✦ you're his little demon angel

✦ that he sends off to beef with people for him

✦ and yes ofc he will listen to you bitch and complain!! literally what he was made for and he hangs on every single word

✦ i can imagine y'all doing a spa day bc you've had a shitty week , so you're complaining about it while he is applying some sort of paste mask to your face (while he's got one on too), and he's nodding along and agreeing with every single thing you say

✦ and if you have beef with a person in particular , like a specific co-worker that's annoying or a particularly terrible teacher, he automatically hates them too

✦ EVEN if you don't hate them

✦ 'and then wendy said—'

✦ 'UGH wendy. i hate that bitch. such a moron. and a loser for what she said to you.'

✦ 'haha it's okay, tōru. i'm kinda over it.'

✦ 'WELL I'M NOT'

MORISUKE YAKU — haikyuu!!

✦ the husband of all husbands. you're favourite blorbo's favourite blorbo.

✦ can't talk about this man for too long before i start foaming at the mouth so this is brief

✦ BUT i think it's funny how he's kinda the opposite of you in a sense that he's very easy to piss off , however he isn't very intimidating when he's mad

✦ meanwhile you're not as quickly ticked off , however when you do get mad, you're super scary

✦ that would make for power couple vibes

✦ also the tiny trinkets you give him will be kept in his jersey while he plays for good luck <333

✦ (but he doesn't need a good luck charm as long as you are there to support him at his games!!)

✦ his love language his probably mainly quality time or acts of service

✦but once he gets russian super league money , he will most definitely become a gift giver too

✦ he will get you one of those really expensive drawing tablets

✦ and all the cooking supplies you could ever need

KAORU HITACHIIN — ouran highschool host club

✦ of the two twins he's definitely more mature and (argubly) smart which would suit you

✦ also less psychology troubled of the two ....

✦ he's not used to girls being 'smartasses' and sarcastic but most girls at the club were very doting and not like that at all

✦ so he's charmed by how different you are

✦ he likes that you get him gifts, he thinks its cute and he treasures them

✦ and he likes to get you "lil trinkets" too except he's obscenely rich so the trinkets in question are like... swarovski crystals and antique pendants that probably cost for than a house

✦ has never been on a casual, stay-at-home takeaway date

✦ is shocked amazed by all of it , every aspect

✦ 'so you .. order the food from your phone? how does that work? does it summon a waiter to your door who will take our order?'

✦ 'the food is on it's way?? how?? it's only been twenty minutes since we placed our order.. they couldn't have made it that fast.'

✦ 'why is the sauce yellow??? is it supposed to be that colour??' he asks while dubiously prodding the chip with a fork

✦ would choke down takeaway food for your sake so you don't think he's fussy, but still prefers your cooking ;)

KAIDOU SHUN — the disastrous life of saiki k

✦ would listen to you complain about all your problems but would unlimately blame it all on dark reunion

✦ in awe of absolutely anything and everything you draw

✦ BEGS you on his hands and knees to draw him a cool pose and/or teach him how to draw as good as you

✦ and handle the heat of your cooking but would never admit it because he wants you to think he's all badass and can take anything

✦ so when he's eating your food , he's like visibly bright red and sweating but when you ask him how it is, he'll just nod and go '😁👍'

✦ bc you know him so you secretly lower the spice of the meals by a little bit , every time you cook for him

✦ so he thinks he's quickly getting used to the spice levels, but really you're just making it less spicy lol

✦ it makes him feel manly tho !!

CHOSO — jjk

✦ i've never seen jjk so this is based off of vibes + trin the weirdo skits haha

✦ so pls tell me if i'm spreading misinformation

✦ but this guys seems chill asf

✦ would appreciate a calm, takeaway and pjs date

✦ not interested in anything you're interested in but he's not interested in very many things so don't take it personally

✦ doesn't seem funny either but he's funny looking so close enough

for @4unnyr0se: so sorry i haven't seen aot, jjk or black clover (#fake anime fan 😔) so there are probably some from shows you've never seen before lol , but hopefully i introduced you to some new faves?? anyway this was fun eeee

[lollytea]

in a hypothetical toh/Peter pan au (bc the parallels are interesting to explore) The Collector is probably the closest equivalent to Peter (eternal child who's repressed all their troubles in the name of Fun and Whimsy and has an ambivalent approach to morality) (though keep in mind I'm not a scholar and it's been a while since I last interacted with a pan adaptation. You're the more knowledgeable one here feel free to correct me)

And then Wendy's closest equivalent as the viewpoint character who learns the main lesson about growing up and moving on and while not losing the part of yourself that made childhood seem so wonderful would probably have to be Luz (though obviously if we're going for this lineup then the peter/Wendy dynamic would have to be decidedly not romantic. Probably lean more into the "mother" thing from the book or Luz and Collie's like. Babysitter and baby dynamic)

Though again I'm very interested in what you, Lollytea, local Peter Pan scholar and toh enthusiast has to say and whether or not I'm off the mark on these ideas. P.S I feel very seen w/ u obsessing about an early 1900s western children's Isekai (/j) bc I did the exact same thing w/ the wizard of oz.

Okay okay okay okay okay okay this is a huntlow AU for my little huntlow brain but I decided to develop the universe a little and give some info on where all the main characters currently are and what they're doing.

Yes absolutely the Collector is this universe's version of Peter. The island adores them for mysterious reasons and their mood and temperment has complete control over the elements. All his whims and dreams and fantasies become a reality here so the place is very chaotic. I'm imagining that the island has the same starry sparkly aesthetic as the BL in S3.

The Collector is heaps of fun and the Lost Boys love hanging out with him and going on adventures. However....he's also prone to tantrums and his tantrums can have devastating consequences so.....none of them are really his true friends either. They're afraid of him, they tiptoe around him, they try to keep him happy.

His only real friend is King, a Neverbeast whose species is as ancient as the Island itself. King has a depthless cavern of power that he just....hasn't really developed yet. He might be a few centuries old but he ages similarly to the Collector. Just a pair of babies. Boys will be boys.

Luz is the most recent Lost Boy in a whole village of Lost Boys. You know how they had that epic village in Hook (1991) Yeah that shit was so cool, I'm giving them one of those. Anyway Luz's reasons for taking the Collector's offer are very similar to her reasons for choosing to stay in the BL. Fantasy as a form of escapism, struggling with the conventional education system and also grief and her mom trying to get her help that she doesn't want. It lands her here.

Amity is a girl who used to be frequently visited by a fairy named Willow when they were both little kids. However, Willow's friendship influenced Amity's overzealous imagination. She was drawing pictures of and writing about fairies and the stories her friend told her about Neverland and this got her in trouble with her parents. Cracking under the threat of more severe punishment, Amity got into a huge fight with Willow, ending in her declaring "I don't believe in fairies!" before slamming her window shut. This is the most cutting thing you could possibly say to a fairy.

Now, years later, Amity is residing in the world she tried so hard to forget about all those years ago. You see, she was at the age where her parents were preparing to send her off to finishing school and were having discussions about future arranged marriages. But Amity is not ready for that just yet. She wants to be a teacher!! She wants to be an inventor!!! So she runs away to Neverland where she can live out her dreams for a while until she's ready to return home.

She's currently running a "school" for the Lost Boys and is affectionately referred to as "Miss Amity", while also tinkering in her spare time. She feels very comforted by the order and control she has over her life now.

It's Luz's arrival that throws it all into disarray. Luz doesn't agree with Amity's style of teaching and though she doesn't deliberately try to interfere, a lot of Lost Boys do end up gravitating towards her, preferring her strange anecdotes and insane hyperfixation infodumps to Amity's lessons. This ends up putting the two of them at odds.

Gus is a Lost Boy....with a gift!!! The Collector was initially drawn to Gus because of their fascination with his primative human "Magic" tricks. Cards, coins behind the ear, cute silly stuff like that. He chose to go to Neverland because the stress of his Dad's high expectations was getting to him and he wanted a bit of a break (a case of miscommunication between father and son).

However, after being spirited away, Gus became Neverland's official Magician, knighted by the Collector himself. And by that I mean the Collector went "Haha I like you. I wonder what you could do if you had real magic!" and then proceeded to snap their fingers and gave Gus powers beyond his comprehension. Like waaaaay too much power. Gus is currently struggling to control his new magic and it tends to come out in uncontrollable bursts and its actually more of a curse than a gift. But he's pretty optimistic about his ability to eventually master it. And also the Collector refuses to change him back so....[shrug]

Willow and Gus? Besties. They're kinda like Peter and Tink in that Willow's favourite place to chill is atop Gus' shoulder or in his pocket.

She does not tell Gus about her secret romantic rendezvous with a certain pirate because that pirate tried to kidnap her once and Gus is very protective of his best friend.

Eda is.....a lot.

Okay. Originally a rebellious but insanely intelligent human girl, Eda and her sister were preparing to take on the world together. They were both aiming to attend the same university on a scholarship, but due to circumstances, the opportunity was only available to one of them. Eda's sister Lilith, panicking about all her dreams being ruined, wound up doing something she'd regret.

She snitched. She told a representative of their dream school of one of the delinquent acts Eda committed. Things quickly got out of hand. One person told another, things getting warped and exaggerated and other people who knew Eda personally began chiming in with their opinions of her. Some things were true. Others were not. But the most hurtful thing is that everybody was willing to believe all of it, because that just seemed to be the person Eda was. All of a sudden, it felt like the whole world had turned on her.

Life became very difficult Eda, she felt isolated and detested. She felt like a monster. This resulted in her running away to Neverland, but she carried her outcast feelings with her. She continued to stew in her own self loathing but that had terrible consequences.

Neverland is unpredictable. Its wishy washy. Its very attuned to imagination and dreams. Because Eda felt so strongly about being a monster, she gradually became a monster.

The Owl Beast is like the Crocodile to Belos' Captain Hook. She sees him as a reflection of the way she was treated back home, while he views her as everything vile and disturbing about this wretched island. Plus when he looks in her eyes, she reminds him of somebody he used to know. Somebody he hates with his whole heart and soul. He needs her dead. She needs him dead.

A huge part of Luz's goal in this AU is uncovering the mystery of the Owl Beast and eventually bonding with her and maybe even helping her return to her human form.

Anyway so yeah thats what's poppin on the island if anybody was interested. We can have our fun with this stuff, incorporate it however we want. I'm very focused on huntlow being silly tho. It's fun to me.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Idea for Princess Bee au:

Marinette realizes Chloe has really grown and changed and worked on her issues bc Chloe apologizes for bullying her for years

Like, after their kids become friends and they've started interacting more Chloe privately goes to her and says 'im sorry I bullied you for years when we were kids. I was taking out my own shit on you and that was horrible. I shouldn't have done that, and I deeply regret it'

Just a simple apology, taking accountability without trying to make excuses, and in private, without Adrien or someone around that Chloe might be secretly trying to impress

Bc like, a lot of how Mari sees Chloe has been colored by their past of being victim and bully. The only times she's seen the genuine good that Audrey tried to abuse out of Chloe were all tied to the Miraculous somehow, either bc of the Bee Miraculous or bc of her being Ladybug, someone Chloe very clearly admired.

It would be easy to look at that and think 'shes only being nice bc she wants to be Queen Bee/she doesn't know I'm someone she bullies under the mask' when in the few months between Chloe's trying to change and Miracle Queen happening that was all she really saw

(something which isn't helped by the meta aspect of 'the Status Quo is God' that the writers religiously stick to. I hate that in shows, where we get episodes of character development that feel like they don't matter bc all the episodes in between ignore that for the sake of sticking to the status quo until the finale happens)

Chloe apologizing for being a bully is something we never got in cannon, and I think it would go a long way to getting through to Marinette that Chloe has genuinely changed for the better over the years since they were kids

Oh yeah like ofc Chloé does apologize and like. There's probably two apology scenes?

One would be a quick thing when they first met again of 'sorry for being a dick I was dealing with a LOT as a kid but ya know got over it', but then yeah a second more in-depth apology somewhere down the line when Chloé's not caught off guard by her presence and knows that she's going to have ongoing long-term interaction with Marinette and the others where she /does/ have to properly own up to All That™ instead of just 'oh we ran into each other so say sorry without unpacking'.

And in between the first and second apology it doesn't fully sink in for Marinette yet. Not out of maliciousness or anything but like

She hasn't properly thought about Chloé in years. Maybe a passing thought but she never analyzed the whole thing. So the Chloé in her memory is the version she knew when she was still a teenager with a very black/white mentality and using that to make leaps in logic toward what Chloé did instead of recognizing her as a complicated person in a hellish situation.

Like, now as a grown adult who can understand things: If she took a step back and looked at what Chloé's situation was, she'd more readily realize the abuse happening and how it affected her, and that some things like 'working for Hawkmoth/Monarch' don't make sense without something else happening. Middle School!Mari just rolled with Chloé being a jerk like her mom and her dad spoiling her but clearly they loved her becuse ofc parents love their kids and clearly someone as bad as Chloé threw away all chance of changing simply because it was too hard to change her perfect life and it was easier to throw a tantrum and join the Villain over not getting handed a reward than it is to earn said reward.

But grown adult!Mari hasn't really taken the step back to really think about that. So the Chloé in her head is just a spoiled brat who refuses to change and betrayed the Team for petty reasons. And that persists for a while because this vision is so solid and she doesn't know the full story that when the current Chloé acts different, she's once again trying to tie the two together and assuming Chloé is just being fake nice.

She catches on eventually, of course. But there's the initial suspicions because of it

And to clarify: I don't mean this in any kind of salty way. It's just hard to see the change in something when the old version so solidly exists in your head

[viilpstick]

Anyways😍

I'm not gonna send fics to u for a hot minute not only bc I don't have anything fully written other than these last two that I make but also bc I'm scared of being a bother sksjksjs

ONCE AGAIN DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR NOT READING/ANSWERING RIGHT AWAY I know how school can be so hard and take so much of your time! In fact, I expect you to take ur time answering, since I assume you're busy. So don't worry!

•••

It's been weeks, Daisy noticed, that Ruggie Bucchi, the greediest person she knew, had started sharing his food with her. Granted, he wasn't sharing his actual meal, but everytime he somehow could get his hands on a dessert, especially if they were pumpkin flavored, he would always give them to her.

Sometimes Daisy thought he went out of his way to get his hands on said desserts just for her, but that was an obscure theory that Daisy was ashamed of even pondering. 

That all happened after the incident with Azul and his contract with Daisy, and the sharing of desserts was only the beginning. She also noticed how he started being… more gentle with her. If he happened to be around, he’d hold the door open for her; if her hair happened to be a mess, he would quickly fix it for her; if he passed by her in the hallways of the school, he would quickly pet her head and continue walking as if nothing had happened. The Ruggie Bucchi, known for being greedy, selfish and for never doing anything for anyone unless he got something in return, was suddenly doing all of this for Daisy… but with what intent?

Initially, Daisy assumed he wanted to somehow make her in debt with him, but he never showed any signs of asking for something in return, nor did he ever voice wanting something from her. Then, she thought maybe she had him in debt with her, but she remembered him saying that his debt for her helping him recover after Leona's overblot had already been paid for him helping her stay in Savanaclaw. Soon she came to the conclusion that maybe she was just thinking too much about all of this. So Ruggie was being nicer to her, what about it?

Except… she couldn't deny her big crush on the hyena beastman. She couldn't deny how endearing she thought he was by always commenting on his beloved grandma, how amazed she was at his hard work and determination and how much his support in the few days she stayed at Savanaclaw meant to her. She couldn't deny any of it.

And she guessed… she thought he was quite handsome as well…

The thing is, Daisy couldn't stop thinking about each and everyone of Ruggie’s small acts of kindness and care, not when every movement of his made her heart skip a beat and her face blush to an unbelievable extent. She kept wondering why he was suddenly like this, so thoughtful and caring around her… yet her brain kept telling her it was probably nothing much, that she was overthinking… he was probably just showing he saw her as a friend. Which she liked to believe she was but… the idea of being seen as only a friend by him was no longer appealing. She hated being so selfish but she wanted to be way more than a friend.

“I’m certain Ruggie’s got a crush on the prefect.” Ace had said once, making Daisy blush as she looked at him with her eyebrows furrowed.

“W-what makes you think that?”

“Daisy, have you ever seen Ruggie be this considerate to literally anyone else? As a guy who's been in a relationship I can tell a crush from a mile away.”

“You have one relationship experience and you ended up ghosting the poor girl, I don't think you have the right to speak.” Deuce retaliated and so a banter started between the two, as Grim laughed at them as he rested on Daisy’s lap.

That one comment made Daisy’s head hurt even more. Did… did Ruggie like her back? If… if so, was this his way of showing it to her? Most importantly, why hasn't he asked her out yet if that was the case? 

The blonde was tired, to say the least, so she made up her mind: she would corner Ruggie and ask him straight up what was up with all these confusing signals and if he liked her in return. Yes! She was gonna do it!

…Except it was easier said than done.

“You ain't gonna eat that?” Ruggie said, finishing his sandwich. Him and Daisy ended up finding each other at the botanical gardens, Ruggie seemed to have just given Leona his lunch and was about to have his, and Daisy wanted to eat somewhere less crowded for once. She wanted time to think. “I'm always hungry so I can finish that for ya.”

“No, it's- I'll eat it.” Daisy said, continuing to eat the croissant she was able to buy in the cafeteria earlier that day. It felt like home. 

“If you insist. Also, that reminds me.” Ruggie takes out two lollipops from his pockets and hands one to Daisy. She observes it as she finishes chewing on the last bite of her croissant. It was pumpkin flavored. “I found these lollipops at a very cheap price at Sam’s store. I never saw one pumpkin flavored before.” Then, Ruggie unwrapped his own, putting it into his mouth and letting a happy hum escape. Daisy smiled at him as she tried unwrapping her lollipop.

“Thanks, Ruggie. You didn't have to...” she said, her cheeks pink, this was exactly what she was talking about, why would he spend money on a lollipop for her? Sure, it might not be expensive but every bit of money counted for Ruggie… she sighed quietly as she tried but failed to unwrap her lollipop.

“Here.” Ruggie got the lollipop from her hands, unwrapping it and putting the wrap in his pocket until he could throw it away. He put it in front of her mouth and Daisy felt her face warm up as he basically fed her the lollipop. She hated how he didn't even look affected by that.

“Thank you…” she held onto her lollipop for dear life, her face red as she stared at the ground.

“‘tis nothing.” Ruggie chuckled, breaking his lollipop with his teeth with extreme ease. “Simple stuff.”

“But you’ve been doing a lot of simple stuff to me lately…” she tried hinting at what she wanted to say… maybe he would recognize she wanted an explanation so she wouldn't have to deal with having to ask awkward questions. 

Ruggie seemed to smile sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “It's really not that big a deal. I do this kinda stuff for the neighborhood kids back home all the time.”

“Oh.” Daisy felt slightly hurt, did that mean he saw her as nothing more than a friend? Perhaps even a sibling because of how he viewed those kids? “So… Do you just… think of me as those kids? Like, a sister?”

“What? Ew, no.” That thought seemed to disgust him, shown by his sour expression. “I just mean that I'm used to doing this sort of thing.”

“Oh.” she let a small smile escape, relieved at hearing that. She seemed to stop for a moment, wanting to ponder and wonder if asking her question really was worth it… but she knew if she didn't she would go crazy. “Do you… see me as something else then?”

Ruggie looked at her and she saw — or maybe that was her wishful thinking — the faint blush on his cheeks. His ears twitched as he tilted his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Ruggie, do you- uhm…” Daisy breathed in and out, trying to have courage for what she was about to ask. “Do you… like me, or something? I mean… as in, do you have… feelings for me?”

Ruggie went quiet for a moment, as he held onto his lollipop stick and looked ahead, a small wrinkle on his nose and a blush on his cheeks. Did she upset him…? Did… did he feel offended by the idea? Maybe even disgusted at the thought of-

“Yeah.” 

Daisy looked at him in shock, her eyes widening as her mouth was open, her lollipop in her hand and the other one gripping the bench they were both sitting on. Did he just- did he admit to having a crush on her? Just like that? That easily?

“Why’d you think I was doing all this, dummy?” Ruggie frowned at her, finger flicking her forehead and she held the place he touched, still very much in awe and confused.

“Then why didn't you tell me anything?”

“I don't know… that's not really in my nature, I guess…” Ruggie scratched his head, embarrassed. “You might not know this because you're a human… but male hyenas usually just… do stuff to get the female’s approval… I was just waiting for you to catch onto the clues.”

“I– R-Ruggie I'm not a beastman, I don't understand this sort of stuff!” She complained, her face unbelievably red as Ruggie chuckled, his own cheeks the same color. 

“I know but come on! I thought I was being pretty obvious even for a human!” Daisy puffed out her cheeks, mumbling something under her breath as she tasted her lollipop once again. Ruggie let out his signature laugh and tilted his head, looking fondly at the girl sitting next to him. “Aw, come on, don't be like that, silly.”

“Well… then take me on a date.” 

“Huh?”

“I'm tired of beating around the bush.” Daisy explained, she looked at the ground in embarrassment, but she knew if she wanted whatever relationship they could have to work, she needed to continue. “So… take me on a date. Since I like you and… and you seem to like me.”

“You… like me?” Ruggie seemed almost surprised at the thought, his ears twitching and his cheeks pink as he forced an awkward smile. “You mean it?”

“I-I’ve liked you for a while now, that's why I asked what you thought of me… seeing you being so nice to me without an apparent reason was making me very confused.” The blonde tried looking at him, a slight frown on her face as she pouted.

Adorable, was what Ruggie thought.

“Well… I can't take you anywhere fancy.” The hyena beastman said, almost fearful that she would reject him for such a thing, but she simply shook her head and smiled warmly.

“I don't mind. As long as you're there, that's all I need.”

Ruggie’s blue eyes stared at Daisy’s brown ones for a moment, before he burst into laughter, making the girl blush in embarrassment as she frowned at him, saying: “don't laugh!”

“You're too sappy Daisy!”

“If you don't like it then–”

“I do. I like it very much.” He stopped laughing, drying a few years that were starting to show, and Daisy looked at the side, biting her lips. “Alright, I’ll take you on a date.” he got a few strands of her hair, bringing it close to his face as he smiled at her. “If you wish.”

Daisy smiled back, her face red but she didn't mind it anymore. “I’ll be delighted.” 

A

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OMG?????? THATS ADORABLE

LIKE IDONT THINK U UNDERSTAND HOW ADORABLE THIS IS TO ME— OMGOMGOMG I WANNA KISS THEIR FOREHEADS AND TUCK THEM IN BED THIS IS SO😭😭😭🩷

GIVING THEM ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD BC AKDUWKDYQKGEWJSIWKDUWK

[paigemathews]

Is Paige your favourite sister? Your URL made me wonder is all lol

Okay, so full admission, in case anyone hasn't picked up on it yet. @phoebehalliwell almost singlehandedly inspired me into creating a full on Charmed sideblog, and you can absolutely tell bc I 100% based what I was doing on her when I first started. Nowadays, I like to think that I'm being slightly more original but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Part of that was, clearly, the URL bc I looked at the URL box when I was creating the blog and just screeched in unholy panic and doing the most blatant ripoff you've ever seen, complete with b-movie incorrect spelling. (in my defense, the actual spelling was taken!)

but the reason I picked Paige was bc she was definitely my childhood favorite! Admittedly, the reason she was my childhood favorite is bc she was a redhead like me lmao. (look, my first time watching Charmed was when I was an actual child, that was my only requirement for a character to be my favorite.) Nowadays, she probably ties with Prue in regards to my favorite sister!

Admittedly, I'm always a sucker for the untapped potential and Paige has a lot! I'd have to loved to see more storylines focus on her, especially in regards to her past, her powers/heritage, and her forging her path into the magical world.

However, I also just really like her as a character. She's a very creative and compassionate character, and I loved her arc about discovering her inner Whitelighter. She had a very genuine love of magic like Phoebe in the early seasons, but while Pheebs had more of a personal gain thing going on (which I'm not dissing!), Paige had more of that desire to help.

I also liked how Paige, who lost her family and... forgot, for lack of a better term, what it was like to have one, clashed with the sisters initially but also was able to help Piper through her grief over losing Prue and created these relationships with her newfound sisters. I'm also a sucker for how she met Henry, someone who got it in ways that her sisters could never really grasp fully, and they created their own family as well. As rushed as s8 was, I like that Paige's journey on the show was not only joining a family but choosing to invite someone into hers to create another, if that makes sense.

Honestly, I don't really know if I have a super concrete reason for why Paige is my favorite, but just like. the vibes. I definitely named my blog after her bc she was my childhood fave, but I also adore her so I think it works out. She's definitely a fun character to make aesthetics (along with being the next character whenever I get around to my next Warren Witch Project witch) and write for (also known as she's the main character in one of my main four WIPs rn).

Also, redheads still tend to be my favorite characters lmao.

[linolinoing]

it's actually insane to me that charles has comparable if not more line distribution than the boys combined... like how does ONE person have almost the same amount as EIGHT members and he's just the feature. from their intro video where they talk about it, it breaks my heart that they think they had to do this to get recognition here in the US. i became a stay after seeing them at gcf when i was there for someone else so their own music speaks for itself. i'm scared the single will be on the album for the upcoming comeback and i'm scare they will lose their touch for the take of western validation or making it big here. we've seen it with an act like bts and i feel like now jype is trying to follow their lead to attempt for that same kind of success. i'm actually heartbroken for the guys and fuck div1/jype bc i can't even imagine the bs they got into their head with about breaking out in the west

Hi! Sorry for the late reply, I just got home!

He definitely has way more lines for my liking because I would prefer he didn't have any but stays don't get to smile so... Tbh I think that's how collabs usually work, it's probably around half him and half skz, but since there's 8 members it seems like he sings more.

Still, this collaboration is getting more and more disappointing by the day. Idk how stays can still support it when there hasn't been one good thing about it. Not one but two whole zionists in the credits, puth has been saying and doing disgusting things for years, he barely acknowledged the song, doesn't seem to care about it and he is already posting about his upcoming single and album. I haven't listened to the whole song, but judging by the teasers, it sounds like the most basic puth song ever, skz are more than capable of making amazing songs without leeches like him.

I haven't watched the intro but that sounds really sad. One of the main reasons skz gained so many fans is the fact that 3racha are the main producers and songwriters. They follow their own path and have their own distinct sound. So to think such a bland artist like puth is the only way skz can get recognition in the usa makes no sense to me. Especially since they're already very big there, they're already gathering stadiums, and all tickets for their day at lolla are sold out. They're headlining at the biggest festivals while puth has been irrelevant for a long time.

It's very valid to be concerned about the direction jype/rr is taking skz. I have no problem with skz trying new sounds, or if they want to release an english song or album, but not how it's happening now. If jype/rr wanted a viral song in the usa so bad they could've done it in better ways.

I saw someone say they made this song in the song camp with puth so I'm little worried that this song might be not the only one, maybe next time it won't have puth as a feature, but still produced by him or that other man.

I never really deep dived into bts, but I liked some of their songs, and around the time butter came out i just lost interest in them tbh. Mostly cuz of the way their fans were acting. The thing about big fandoms like armys and stays is that there are a lot of different people, with different views, yet loudest ones have created a reputation for armys as bullies, racists, sexists and so on. They harass and doxx ppl, they're always up in everyone's business, trending hateful tags, full of akgaes and most importantly have no morals whatsoever. And well this year *someone* is moving exactly the same. And this collab just proves where stays as a fandom are heading. Even tho there's a lot of people who still have morals unfortunately the loudest ones are creating a very negative image for both stays and skz. Btw on twt whenever armys are trying to educate others armys about the hybe boycott they face the same hate and 'yOu ArE aN aNtI yOu ShOuLd lEaVe tHe FaNdOm' as stays do now.

Those big companies almost never prioritise artists and their ideas or fans, they want more money, so they will keep pushing more of what makes them that money. And kpop stans are the perfect audience for this. Cuz at least half is obssesed with their fave to the concerning levels, and companies use that for their own benefit. Bubble, fancalls and etc help to create the illusion that kpop idols are your best friends and boyfriends. Remember how some stays were genuinely upset and heartbroken when Chris "broke up" with them, called him toxic, manipulative, hated him, cried on tt about it, that's not normal. When you're that invested in the parasocial relationship you're gonna end up hurt. Our brains and nervous system are experiencing stress whether it's a real thing happing or just our imagination. It's not healthy to be so dependent on the artist and creating a bond with someone who doesn't know you exist.

And in order to continue living in this imaginary world, people are willing to throw away whatever morals they have left in them. That's why they get so angry when you try to interfere with it, they need their faves to be *perfect*. As much as I love skz, the success of a kpop group will never be more important to me than my own values.

And just a reminder to everyone that if you don't support this collab, it doesn't mean you're sabotaging skz, nor does it make you an anti. If you feel overwhelmed by everything going on in the fandom, it's okay to take a break, it's okay to just enjoy skz's music without obsessing over charts and streams. Just take your time and do what's best for you! 🫂

This got so fucking long for no reason I'm so sorry 😭

[golbrocklovely]

im pretty sure we've talked about this multiple times before and no hate to the girl this is probably just me being insecure about myself but honestly im not even surprised about the girl colby is dating clearly shes had some plastic surgery done but i was really rooting for him to be dating a girl that's natural and it sucks to see all this plastic surgery on social media. it seems like the only girls guys date on here are the same body type; big boobs, big butt, small waist.. i guess i just wish there was more natural body representation if that makes sense

i've said my stance on this a number of times but i'll say it again just to make it a bit clearer.

while i understand why you might think this way, bc genuinely i've been in your shoes before, allow me to explain why i don't think like this anymore.

i wrote way too much so i'm sorry in advance lol

this is the first time, ever, that colby has admitted to dating a specific girl. we've seen some that we can guess he was with, or maybe had something going on there, but no actual full on confirmations. so there is really nothing to base malia off of.

we don't know what colby's type is. i know a lot of ppl think they have an idea but reality is we don't know bc we're not colby/we don't know him like that. he has been with a lot of different girls over the years and none of them are similar in anyway, body wise.

now, i know you're not trying to say this, but how your statement comes across is us vs them. or really "anyone that's gotten work done is lesser than those that haven't." bc if there really was no difference between someone that hasn't had work vs someone who has, you wouldn't be talking about this at all. you turn plastic surgery into a negative when in a lot of ways it can be positive.

but that's not to negate the negative effects society has place on women to look a certain way and thus the absolute rise in plastic surgery, fillers, and botox over the years. societal standards of beauty are bullshit and misogyny harms all of us.

i do have to ask, or just raise the question of… do you feel this same way about katelyn? or kat even? bc they were both skinny, pretty, dark haired girls that sam dated/is dating. and yet, you aren't asking him to date a more "natural" shaped woman. i just wanna know why colby has to be the exception. i'm also sure you know men in your own life who have types. do you call them out for only dating those types? just wondering.

i'm saying this as someone who has been in your exact shoes years ago. when i first got into the fandom, i genuinely was upset at colby for his dating habits and felt like he would never date someone that looked like me and that also led to me not ever feeling like i could be reposted by them for merch pics, bc bodies like mine just aren't as accepted.

but i need to make it abundantly clear: you have to stop relying on snc to make you love yourself. and i mean that in the nicest way possible.

snc are two random guys who most likely don't know who you are. you cannot rely on them to bring your self esteem up or to make you feel worthy of love. you have to do internal work and find a way to love yourself regardless of others, bc at the end of the day - you only have yourself.

i love snc, truly, but i don't give a rat's ass if they would find me hot. i find me hot. and that's all that matters. anyone that doesn't find me hot… that's their loss. bc i'm cute, have a big ass, and i'm funny.

10s across the board if you ask me lol

but to bring it back to snc, or colby specifically, the amount of insecurities i have towards myself were not his fault. he was not the one that made me feel like shit about myself, so i cannot take it out on him to try and fix me. he is one person with his own set of issues, who doesn't know i exist. and while it's easier to blame him and wish he was the one stand out, wattpad bf i wish he could be, reality is he too probably also likes a woman with big tits and a big ass. and there ain't nothing wrong with that, since he probably ALSO likes a girl with a personality too. bc fun fact, women with big tits and ass can also have a nice personality.

i'm not saying any of this to be mean to you genuinely. i get your thought process and feelings 100%. i just think you are placing a lot of your frustration on the wrong person. society as a whole is to blame for why you and i don't like ourselves. if anything, colby has helped me like myself more. i think we should try not to let his personal choices feel like a strike against us, if that makes any sense. he isn't dating someone like malia out of spite bc of plus size/natural body type fans. he's dating her bc he loves her, bc he found someone that makes him open up for the first time in a long time. and that should be celebrated, rather than shot down.

[isa-ghost]

Reading your journal thing rn and damn that's a ride XD

Was curious at "figure out a communication method that my skepticism can’t debunk" and honestly should've guessed that it'll end up being tarot, these little shits (affectionate) never fail to feel me called the fuck out lmao. A pendulum was my guess tbh (pendulum & dice were my first tools)

But also, damn Leviathan & Michael? - you're in very good hands. (the rest likely too, just no experience with them). Think... healing, recovery, shadow work, trauma work... Both of course have different approaches, but when they intend to help you get better, they mean it.

And your response to my ask - yeah, I tend to be drawn to the ones that feel like powerful friends as well, rather than the ones that expect me to walk on eggshells and overthink every action... imo that makes things a lot less stressful.

"He loves slapping me with my Spotify playlist" - Leviathan used to do that to me lmao. Me: trying to chill. Leviathan: okay but what if we think about *growth* instead??

Honestly, everything you're saying sounds promising and you sound excited :3

Heard only good things about Apollo tbh, but don't know much personally, I'm more familiar with demons ;) - A

YES I was so hesitant to use a pendulum at first because it's easy to go "no that was me moving. No it was already swinging like that. No the fan blew on it and made it move. Etc." I still often ask questions twice or even three times to confirm the answer is legit and I make sure the pendulum is absolutely still before I ask a question, so that any movement is Definitely An Answer after. Tarot, however, doesn't lie, and WOWIE do Apollo and Levi love to go for the throat. It's very funny.

Last night before Leviathan was like "yeah I scratched you, L. Anyway put Ashton on the mic I want him dead rn," I was doing a reading with Apollo because I'd seen a crow while I was out, which usually means "Isa I have words." And he basically came outta nowhere with 4 cards that were basically like "take a wellness break, all your major obligations are dealt with, things at home are peaceful, you're doing great sweetie." And I was bewildered bc he'd made it sound like I was super stressed out but I really wasn't.

I was scrambling and probably overthinking that he was referring to something specific when he was just speaking generally, but when I asked him if it was just a plain message with the pendulum, its movement was basically the spiritual equivalent of him going "EEEHsorta? ... You'll figure it out later."

Leviathan hasn't personally obliterated me with anything but literal Lake Michigan waves yet, but he basically turned my friend Ashton into soup last night, so I know I'm definitely in good hands and whenever he DOES have a tarot message for me, I'm lovingly dead meat. I always joke that he's my Paranormal Activity Demon, he claimed me as a baby and he'll fuck up anyone who touches his blorbo.

Michael is probably the third most present entity of the five, despite him lurking rather than working with me. My sister is,,, Desperately In Need Of Therapy and refuses to get it, so she's A Lot /Neg. I'd confidently say she's verbally/emotionally abusive to me, let's just say that. And Michael gets very defensive of me about it. He got into it more in that reading I mentioned about Family Matters in the post. He's also been like "Its ok bestie I got you" while I've been in churches for weddings and whatnot.

Ceridwen has had a single message for me, which was basically "hey dummy, start talking to Levi and I more, I know you're only confident in talking to Apollo but you gotta talk to us in order to get that far too." And this poor woman. I was misunderstanding the cards so hard, I ended up pulling like 6 more cards and asking questions that all got progressively more exasperated "NO"s. Like mom I am so sorry, I'm a huge dumbass omg. So eventually I gave up and talked to the friend who found out these 4 were around me in the first place bc she was the first one to start working with Ceridwen, and right away she was like "yeah no you were overthinking so hard, she meant this." I have yet to get anything else from her, but our group has gotten to the point where if more than one of us works with a certain entity (nearly all of us work with Apollo. After he picked me, he went on his "actually I want this whole server" arc, which is funny bc we're all art kids and that's His Thing. Multiple of us work with angels, Morrigan, Ceridwen, Thor, Aphrodite, Athena, and Asmodeus, just to name a few), we can ask the others to help discern what the entity is trying to tell us if we can't figure it out for ourselves.

Morrigan hasn't said anything to me directly Or through other friends yet. Which tbh is on brand for her I think, she's probably the most intimidating entity present in the server. Has big Disciplinarian Stern Mom Woman Of Her Word energy. She said she'd lurk and she meant it, whereas Michael lurks but he'll be like "heeeyy :>"

Overall I Definitely feel like I'm in good hands. I've looked up symbols for all of them, so when I'm out of the house there's a high chance at least one of them (usually Apollo) makes me laugh because I see something and I'm like "REALLY DUDE?" They're all really good at making it known they're here.

[tvrningout-a]

SLAMS MY HANDS DOWN!! spoilers below for my pals who haven't seen a.tsv yet! we're talking about miguel, the disaster man himself!

if you're a personal blog, do not reblog this or i'm biting your ankles.

hello, hi, i've got some thoughts on miguel that'll probably be better supported once i read through his comics, but!! i've been thinking about miguel and the introduction of his character, how he says he doesn't always like what he has to do, but he knows he has to do it bc he's lost too much to stop. we find out he's talking about his daughter. from another dimension or not, he still loses her after forming an attachment to her, and this causes him to become our antagonist for more than one reason. but let's back up a lil bit.

when we first meet miguel, we see he can be quippy, funny -- he's still clearly not a happy-go-lucky kinda guy, but he doesn't appear quite as harsh as he is with miles. we even see him go against his original decision to leave gwen behind, even if it's at jessica's prompting. he's swayed bc he can't ignore her predicament, feels sympathy bc like her, there's some stuff he doesn't know how to fix either.

miguel knows she hasn't experienced all of her canon events bc her dad is police chief and alive. he knows she's close to miles. he knows she's a liability, but against his better judgement, he lets her join. he doesn't always like what he does, and sometimes he just can't do it. sometimes he's faced with the individual, and he can't follow through, leave someone behind to fend for themselves.

i think this is absolutely the case with his daughter gabriella. he found that universe where he was happy with a daughter, and initially he was just watching over what could have been. it was harmless if not painful at times. but then he's murdered in this other dimension, and he knows he should stay out of it. if he died, it was supposed to happen. but he can't leave it alone. he can't leave gabriella alone to fend for herself. so he takes a risk to save the individual -- he thinks about the person rather than the world.

and it ends up biting him in the ass. he loses gabriella and her world, singlehandedly ( so we assume at this point, at least ) causing their destruction by simply taking the place of that dimension's miguel and disrupting his canon death. he realizes then that he can't let himself prioritize the individual. he has to prioritize the world, no matter how much he'll hate it at times, because he'd rather feel guilt over a million uncle ben's than a million universes with billions of people in each one.

whereas miles has to learn in the first movie to focus saving on one person vs. the world, miguel has to learn the inverse, and it sucks. he doesn't always like what he does, but he knows he has to do it because either 1. nobody else will ( and he can't exactly blame them ) or 2. he can't ask anybody else to do it. " being spider-man is a sacrifice, " and he's already lost his daughter, seen first-hand what meddling in the canon leads to. he'll make the sacrifice of making those tough decisions if it means nobody else has to lose their dimension.

which is why things go so far off the frikkin rails with miles. i don't think miguel recruits spiders who haven't gone through certain losses ( with some exceptions like gwen and pav ) bc he knows it'll cause conflict when they find out they have to let certain people die. that's exactly what happens with miles, and bc he's the original anomaly, bc miguel and co. still don't know what might happen if he saves his dad, bc miguel is scared and can only think of the day he lost gabriella, he... chases down a teenager and gets waaaay too heated. he definitely projects some of his own guilt upon miles bc he wouldn't have ever known about gabriella's universe if not for all this anomaly business. he wouldn't have gotten her killed if he'd never needed to help put the multiverse back in order.

in the end, though, it's still miguel's own fault. he knew better, he knows better, and all he can do is try to stop miles.

[special-bc-ur-part-of-it]

fic writer 20 questions

thanks to @kurtsascot for the tag !!!

idk who has or hasn't been tagged yet, but imma tag @rockitmans @shame-is-a-wasted-emotion @thaliaisalesbian and anyone else who wants to play :)

how many works do you have on ao3?

22 :)

2. what's your ao3 word count

99,816

3. what fandoms do you write for?

glee <3

4. top 5 fics by kudos

3 a.m. (80 kudos)

Zip Tease (72 kudos)

Remote Learning (71 kudos)

New Adventures Summer Camp (58 kudos)

Running in Circles, Coming up Tails (56 kudos)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

yes! i tend to respond to nearly every comment <3 bc i enjoy attention <3 and it's nice to talk to people <3

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i think it's probably knife with your heart up your sleeve. which still ends ambiguously but. i tend not to do the angsty ending lol

7. whats the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i'm gonna say Home for the Holidays because that fic is nothing but holiday fluff <3

8. do you get hate on fics?

thankfully no. i've seen a couple passive-agressive comments before, and @cerriddwenluna lovingly said "jail for iz" in a 'live-blog' comment on New Adventures Summer Camp once, but no actual hate yet <3

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i tend not to. if i do, it'll probably end up pretty sappy romantic and non-explicit (see: run away to mars)

10. do you write crossovers? whats the craziest one youve ever written?

nah. AUs tho? heck yeah.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of!

13. have you ever cowritten a fic before?

i started co-writing one with someone a while back, but then we both got busy and forgot about it whoops

i think it would be fun to co-write with someone tho, so uh. lmk <3

14. fave all time ship?

gotta be klaine <3 the brainrot is real <3

15. wip you want to finish but doubt you will?

sequel fic to Running in Circles, Coming up Tails

16. what are your writing strengths?

uhhh dialogue maybe? fluffy shit? idk, it's hard to name your own writing strengths

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

scene descriptions, smut, figuring out what happens in the middle part of multi-chapter fics, actually sticking with recurring underlying themes...

if i keep thinking about it, i'm gonna get real mean to myself so i'm gonna stop there

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

i don't usually do it because i only know english and like. half-spanish, but i like when people do it !!

19. first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter. i think i was somewhere between 10 and 13 years old. i used wattpad. i believe those fics no longer exist, or if they do, i sure as fuck haven't looked at them in years (and i think i deleted ye old wattpad account)

20. fave fic youve written?

hng most of them hold a special little place in my heart (or live rent free in my brain), but i think i gotta say New Adventures Summer Camp. i reread it every so often bc it makes me smile :) (for most of the fic at least)

[knowlessman]

bnha I guess then? ep 5-7

ohey isn't that the tumbly sexlerguy of this show? with the scarf and the 5 o'clock? actually idk if he was in the poll or if drawfee just talked about him before, but he looks like one to me.

huh. he's got his shirt tucked in and all. not planning on hulking out tonight I guess. -- come to think of it tho, there hasn't been any talk so far of whether this "inheriting" of the Quirk is going to mean that All Might loses his power. -- …okay I guess this is him saying that here?

…"Itadakimasu" is translated as "I'm off!" here. I think I'm gonna have to accept that I'm never gonna know the full meaning of that one unless I put my entire ass into learning what's probably one of the harder languages to try to learn when starting from English. 'XD I should content myself with knowing about "natsukashiku."

This fucking guy again

This other fucking guy tho, Ida (Iida? Maybe the subs just misspelled it that time? idk). Cautiously starting to like him. Bit annoying, but annoying about being a decent guy.

it's the sexlerman doing his Kakuna cosplay. Forgot he did that. Maybe he's literally just Stein but less uncomfortable to watch, that'd be fun. -- Aizawa. When do we learn pink girl's name tho? The opening flashes the names by too fast.

ZUKO. IT'S ZUKO. HI ZUKO. Hope he gets some lines soon. -- literally googles just to check that he isn't voiced by dante basco bc that might be the only thing that would actually get me to watch a dub (I just like to read shows and not have to follow verbal convo I'm not here to argue about it) -- also Froppy (?) and birdman and that one guy who by reputation needs as few lines as possible and, uh, acid girl I think? and invisible girl. and, y'know, the rest

sounds like shithead's (not The Bad Shithead, the bad shithead we already know) VA is having fun, at least. sounds fucking terrifying

…eraser what. …am I not gonna wanna like this guy? I know just enough about what eraser head (the movie) is to know I don't wanna know any more about it -- pretty sure he's bullshitting about expulsion. unless it's gonna be laser navel here who gets expelled, cuz I've never seen nuffin about him before -- stg give this man a bucket hat and clogs and poof he's from a different show -- …gawd I hope nothing tempts me to continue bleach, I haven't heard anything good about the bits past that filler even tho it's aesthetically so much more my jam

Uraraka. …I read the entire Bionicle book series as a kid, I should be able to remember that just fine. … ':|

can't get the image of saitama with his head stuck in the ceiling out of his head

…ayup. no notes. next one.

"the person with the lowest total score will be expelled" meanwhile I don't think being fucking invisible makes you run any faster or throw any harder. the fuck's No-Hat-No-Clogs on about? -- absolute dickweed. also how in fuck did invisible girl beat deku? cheating? is she even able to make her clothes invisible, or is it a Violet Parr situation where it has to be a specific material?

I mean tbf you haven't tried powering up one toe at a time yet. running/skipping that way might look stupid as hell but it's better than blondie over there

"I'M DEKU!!!" 'XD -- I also love the exaggerated reaction shots in this, they're very good -- copernican…? googles nerd.

how I've never seen a gif of "I'M… COMING THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!" I'll never know

these oughta be good

okay this is cute -- facepalm nobody told me deku was a furry

…well that's conve - huh. Iida being the teammate will be interesting. (also is it gonna turn out that they're lying about it being randomized now? because this is some astonishing coincidence) -- interesting that they're literally playing rainbow six siege tho

awfully metallic for paper mache

…that's… huh. powerful moment for bakugo to just throw away like he's going to

aye, next one

haha kid bakugo walks like a rugrats character

why is zuko half-covered in ice for no reason? is that sposed to be his costume?

heh. he's not Saitama or Rock Lee. He's Karate Kid. (I saw like one or two episodes of Legion of Superheroes) His superpower is knowing what it's like to not have a Quirk. -- "I need a plan." runs off ah, yes. more time for thinking. hope he stops being relatable soon and actually comes up with a plan, tho. -- you don't need to beat Bakugo if you can get him lost tho. …maybe I'm underestimating him but I would be surprised if he bothered to memorize the layout worth a damn. -- I swear his VA is channeling a lot of mob boss for a high schooler 'XD

…Iida you're being weird. for the love of fuck please don't tell me you're gonna start listening to mr bonaparte up there

"he's just standing there… cackling like an idiot"

huh. we did learn why he's got bigass grenades on his hands. -- sidenote: …when I was a kid I wrote up superpowers that my stuffed animals had. one of them was literally this. …I gotta get myself to fucking write more. (didn't write any actual stories, tho. also obv I didn't think of the gun bit) -- and that's how deku got his costume

aye. good shit. gonna stop for tonight

[coralsgrimes]

I will never understand what Ben sees in JH, but after a few years of silently watching the train wreck that is twin flames... I'm equally confused as to what JH sees in Ben. It's been years and he's still hiding and untagging any mention of the two of them together. A couple more posts popped up about him being at her Memorial Day pool party (one an obvious troll posts) and they all quickly disappeared from his tags.

For someone who loves to rinse and repeat terms like "authentic self" and "healing journey", she needs to add "self-respect" to her limited vocabulary because gurllllll...

They've known each other for years, they're apparently close enough that she leaned on him during her divorce, he wrote a whole EP for her, he seems to be integrating into her friend group and yet he still refuses to be publicly seen with her even though we all know they still hang out. Like girl that's gotta sting. Why keep someone around who is clearly embarrassed/scared to be seen with you? The dick can not be that good.

He doesn't even have a job. The highlights of his year have been one failed show for an album he hasn't mentioned in months, a convention for a canceled tv show and apparently going on a book tour for a book he didn't even write. JH is annoying and a shitty person, but at least she's trying to have a career.

At this point he can't even blame the hiding on the fan girlies bc what fans? He drove off the last of them after following and liking shit from that zionist account. Next to no one cared about the Memorial Day thing, the only person who talks about him on Twitter is that Ben Barnes Property account and there's only a handful of insta accounts that still regularly talk about him. Even the DL can't be bothered to discuss him anymore. You know your boring ass fucked up when even your haters have moved on. Pretty sure the only reason he still has that 2.1 million insta following is bc the majority of us are waiting to see what dumb shit he's going to do next.

I have no idea if they're just friends, dating, a situationship - at this point who cares? We're probably never going to know. But my god, these two are toxic and confusing.

(This got long and ranting fast, so sorry about that but this has been on my mind for awhile and I'd rather step on a rusty nail then admit to people in my life about how invested I am in the life of a D-list celebrity.)

All I can say here is AGREED

And just two follow ups;

1. He got a job now (sorry this an old ask) but like I wouldn't expect anything good from it, it's literally a cable TV one, and a limited series sooooo

2. His insta following is still dropping, he's losing about 10-15k per month now, probably bots not fans but ye can see how fucking desperate he got at one point to get a bigger following. Ma bet is that he's going to get down to 2M by the end of summer and if it keeps up (I don't think he's gonna gain any new followers organically anytime soon), he's gonna get below 2M mid autumn at the very best lol

There's a lesson here obviously - don't kill off your fan base and buy bot followers when instagram is clearing them up anyway...