#but i'm gonna manage ! all these years of feeling like i was a hopeless case can fuck right off !!!!

[gender-euphowrya]

i'm fucking proud of how far i've come like i used to feel like there was no hope for me to get my shit together but guess what. i just sent an email and didn't panic for 15 minutes over how to phrase it

[wuahae]

congrats on 1k!!!!!!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 i was wondering if I could propose: seungcheol + 12:17am + the swings at the park down the street? hope you have a great day!!!

[00:17] / swings at the park down the street

-

the night air sits a little chilly on seungcheol's skin, his t-shirt and jeans not doing much to keep the warmth on an september night. if he looked on the bright side, seungcheol supposes it's a good thing the alcohol comfortably buzzing in his system lets the cold turn into more of a cool breeze, but on the other hand...

"cheol, i think the world stopped spinning!"

seungcheol sighs, turning his head to you. you turn back to him, eyes shining bright as you lean your head on the swing chain. his jacket runs a little too big on you, the ends of the sleeves covering your palms as you hold onto the swing. "do you wanna go for round 2?"

"we have to go home," he chides, exasperated.

"oh relax," you wave off, pushing up the sleeve to take a good look at your empty wrist. "it's only um... 11:00! live a little!"

seungcheol whips his phone out, the time on the lockscreen glaring at full brightness. "it's midnight."

you pout, kicking the bark beneath your feet sullenly. your right heel comes flying off, landing somewhere between the park bench and the see-saw. "lame..."

seungcheol gives you a flat look, making a mental note to pick up your shoe before you leave the park. “you barely made it out of the karaoke bar in one piece, and you want to go for a round 2?”

“well i’m here, aren’t i? perfectly fine and normal!”

“really? what street are we on.”

"you know i'm bad with directions!"

he resists the urge to run a hand down his face. the only reason seungcheol even agreed to coming to the college mixer with you is because he knew you wouldn't fare well if left on your own. the last time you went out drinking, you threw up in the bushes a couple feet behind the street vendor, and the time before that, you'd drunk-dialed him at 3:00AM in tears, and when he managed to get out of the house wearing mismatching flip-flops ready to find you, your friends had managed to grab the phone from you and tell him that you were only crying over a stray cat that wouldn't bother to give you the time of day.

and of course, he was there for you both times, and all the times before that, which only meant that he needed to be there for you this time too. (seungcheol tries not to think about the implications of that statement for too long, otherwise he'll start feeling as stupid as jeonghan's judgemental looks tell him he is.)

you narrow your eyes, waggling your finger at him. "so are you gonna tell me about it?"

"about what?"

"the mixer!" you exclaim. "i saw nayoung making googly-eyes at you the whole time. did you get her number?"

seungcheol pauses. "who?"

you throw your hands in the air, exasperated. "um, lee nayoung? literally every guy in our year would pay to get her to even look at them for five seconds, and she was looking at you all night. for free!"

frowning, seungcheol tilts his head. “doesn’t ring a bell.”

you lean back on the swing, and seungcheol readies himself in case you lose balance and fall backwards. "you're so hopeless, cheol. i keep inviting you to these things cause everyone keeps calling you painfully single, but we end up having this conversation every time. isn't there anyone you like?"

yeah, he bites his tongue. you.

he could say it. he could say it right now. maybe if he said it, then it would be like ripping off a bandaid. quick—not quite painless, but it had to be better than existing in this weird limbo where he's the first one you call when you're drunk and you're the first person he thinks of telling when anything good in his life happens. if he said it, no matter the result, at least he wouldn't have to keep it a secret anymore. at least you would know.

but instead, seungcheol says:

"it's late. we need to go back."

there's a brief pause, one where you shift in your swingseat and the cold metal presses against the skin of his palms as he wrestles with the weight of everything he's squashed down inside him, yet again.

“…can we at least get fishcakes on our way home?" you ask, and you at least have the decency to sound a little sheepish about it.

your shoulder moves slightly, jacket slipping off your shoulder. seungcheol sighs, walking over to adjusting it, before zipping it up fully. it would only get colder through the night. he really was an idiot.

"yeah. the usual?"

[henriiiii-1001]

( John Sparks and George Banks making Six feel like he's sane again ) *invading church* G : DUDE! YOU GOTTA HELP, JOHN GOT STUCK IN THE FENCE! S : What? G : JOHN GOT STUCK IN THE FENCE! S : *turns to Luci* L : *puts two fingers up and disappears* S : .... Fine, I'll help

-le epic timeskip-

Six, seeing John's situation : Oh okay J : You two gonna help me or not?! S : How tf did you get your neck stuck in the fence anyway? J : It was a dare by my mother S : ....

-Six manages to get John's neck out of the fence but now they're gonna make the rest of his night unbearable-

J : So what's your name btw? Six, thinking of a fake name in 2 seconds : Uh.. Sullivan! G : Like that story of the big ass man who got stuck in the island with the miniature tiny people? S : Is- Is that supposed to be an insult? J : Definitely a compliment, usually he says much worse than just that S : Huh Oh and btw, the man's name was Gulliver, not Sullivan G : .... I'm hopeless

-12 seconds later-

J : Oh wait, we forgot to ask, what's your age? S : Why? G : We need to know if you're the grandson or the grandpa S : OK I'm.... 29! J : Booo that number sucks! G : You're headed to retirement already lmao S : :(

-21 seconds to later- S : Sooo, are you best friends or just regular friends? Cause you seem pretty close John, turning around to G : Ten seconds before midnight- Hi George, let's be friends *George has chosen violence* J : OW! WTF DUDE?! Help, he's trying to shove his fist in my nose! G : I'm sorry! J : What are you sorry about?! G : That I'm almost 19 and your birthday was only 2 months ago! J : You hate me because my birthday is on November?! G : Yes! Because I hate every month that don't include vacations! S : Oh good lord- Guys, stop that! Stop that! -le epic timeskip-

S : Okay, now that you two have ceased your crazy fight, you apologize! :D J : ... G : ... I don't know S : Are you afraid of being vulnerable? G : I only have one fear S : And that is...? G : That the police will find out what I did in 1988 S : Uhh.... J : He's a wanted criminal in 40 states

-le epic timeskip part 2-

G : Jo is immune to alternates because his house is a labyrinth. Just his living room has 1 million boxes everywhere- J : I'm moving! G : The alternates just walk into his house and are like "what the fuck is this place?" J : I'm moving, man! It's not my fault! S : Why Mandela of all counties? J : So me and my wife can perform tax evasion and not have a police constantly hunting us down S : ... G : Once he finally gets a woman to like him lol Six, mentally : (This some big brain moment)

-1 hour later-

Six : John, I'm getting really worried cause all you bought at the convenience store was like, two bags full of energy drinks and a weeks worth of potato chips J : It's my diet G : In case you couldn't tell, he's addicted to unhealthy shit J : To me every person above 20 is an asshole, so I'm on my slow but steady trip of dying of a heart attack before my 20th birthday S : That's- That's your goal in life? J : Yep! Maybe- Maybe when I go down to hell, Satan will name me "stupid of the year" S : Yeah, I'll call him and ask him to do that J : Will I get a bronze star for 'stupid of the year'? G : You're gonna get the fucking golden star J : That's my fucking dream S : He's gonna put a golden star sticker right in the middle of your forehead that says "stoopid of the year" J : Yay! :D

(silliness taking over me be like)

no idea who these guys are but this is cute! not sure if six would help a bunch of teenagers out of the blue (esp if they're trying to break into st gabriel's. if that's where they are) , but one can dream

[sainztander]

Hi Nic, sorry to bother you and feel free to ignore this ask but I just need to rant!

Yesterday after reading Giuly Duchessa's article I was nearly hopeless but I thought, ok, it's still no official resist until they announce it. But now that they have done it's just despair. People are really celebrating that a man that has been on the team for 28years, was there when Michael won his titles for us has ended his career with the team this way.

And of course he made mistakes, but it also seems as if he asked for help before the season, didn't get any and now is taking all the blame for mistakes that potentially could have not happened if Elkann listened for once.

Mattia leaving and going as an engineer to Alpine or AM will be awful, but if he goes to RB or Merc we will be completely fucked.

And I'm just so done at people acting as if all of this is good, they really think we will be winning next year and here I am thinking we will be fighting with Alpine and McLaren again to get P3/4. I really had hopes for next year but now it's all gone.

Also, them saying we should have a new TP by the new year....is a mess. I don't like Vasseur and I don't think he will solve anything but if the only man that could say yes because he will be gone when audi arrives hasn't even accepted the role.

I can only hope that the storm that is affecting Juve and now this will make Elkann suffer and maybe use his brain for once.

Hello Anon <3 dw, my askbox is always open for rants. My besties know it's what I've been doing in their dms this past few days 😁 we're all in the same sinking ship !

Actually I felt real whiplash since being on italian Twitter meant that every 10 minutes there was a new name dropped as "the new Ferrari tp", esponentially weirder and weirder. The magical journey of reading the bombshell of Ross Brawn as the new tp 100% verified news and then after a few minutes reading his retirement letter? Name-dropping fucking Christian Horner????? I just laughed the whole day. I was SO convinced no one had any idea at all, because it was all so dumb !

But yeah, I was wrong, sadly. And I don't mind saying very clearly that I am not happy at all about any of this, that imo losing Binotto BOTH as a tp and as an engineer is an awful turn of events.

But if it can console you Anon I also think that we're still... pretty safe for next year at least? Most of the job on the car is already done, and I don't think that whoever steps in will even have the time (or the means *side-eying John Elkann*) to ruin anything.

Mostly tho I am just genuinely sad for Binotto? He's been working for Ferrari his whole career, as soon as he got out of university he got in the factory in Maranello. He was there for all of it, the glorious years and the worse ones, and he genuinely loved the team and wanted it to succeed. And without forgetting what a brilliant engineer he is. To see him now, made into a scapegoat for public appeasement is just...... demoralizing. Let's not even start about him possibly going to a top team or I'll start smashing things.

Vasseur...... sorry I just have to laugh or I'll go insane. People have been screaming and crying and raging about Ferrari flopping on strategy and they want to fix that with Vasseur. Maybe let's ask *check notes* Valtteri Bottas, Zhou Guanyu, Antonio Giovinazzi and Kimi Raikkonen a review about how well was the team managed, why not?

Whatever. I hope the work on the car at least won't have any setbacks. We still don't know exactly who is gonna follow Binotto from the engineering team... Or who will get in his place. But the starting project was so good and they've been saving on this year's upgrades to use them for next year, since they said they already know what to fix and how...... in that case at least we'll be covered until 2026? So enough time for stabilizing the new tp? And new drivers

[xneens]

side to side

Warnings: swearing

Word count: 4.6k

Summary: In which you're performing your hit single in front of your fellow Avengers cast-mates and Chris can't seem to take his eyes off of you, catching the attention of a few cameras.

"I'm here with the biggest pop-star of this generation, and she plays the very talented daughter of Tony Stark," the interviewer announced your name, smiling brightly at you as the camera panned your way. The hundreds of thousands of fans at home screaming when your face appeared. "How do you feel with all your nominations tonight?"

You smiled at the camera, giving a small wave at the people watching at home. "Honestly, I'm just glad I was even considered for these nominations. I mean, my girls Taylor, and Billie...they're amazing and I'm so happy to be put in the same category as them."

The lady grinned at you, her eyes twinkling. Or maybe it was her sparkly dress, the fabric nearly blinding you with how it shined under the lights. "If you ask me, you've got a pretty good chance at winning. I mean, your hit single—Side to Side—surpassed, like, a billion views in just a month? That's impressive."

"Well, I couldn't have done it without my fans." you replied, winking at the camera.

It was that time of the year again, where every artist, actor, and YouTuber hit the stage for the People's Choice Awards. With your crazy schedule, and the lack of sleep, you had planned to skip the award show until your friend, and co-star, Chris Evans—Captain America himself—convinced you otherwise. Even with the categories you've been nominated for had been more than a handful, but it was the begging and constant complaining from Chris that made you get off your tired ass and put it into a tight dress.

Your hit single, Side to Side, had everyone anticipated for your performance, unsure if you would be performing until the producers had put your name into the advertisement, making fans blow up Twitter. You were sure they had advertised your own song, along with your movie nominations, more than you ever had.

With nominations of Movie of the Year (Avengers: Infinity War), Action Movie of the Year (Avengers: Infinity War), Female Movie Star of the Year (Amara Stark), Female Artist of the Year, Song of the Year (Side to Side), Music Video of the Year (Into You), Beauty Influencer of the Year, and Social Celebrity of the Year, you had your hands full, which had only made your manager glow with happiness.

"Of course!" the interviewer agreed, glancing at the teleprompter filled with tiny words. "It was rumored that you wouldn't be coming, and a lot of us were upset, including me. Was that just a rumor or..."

"Actually, it's not that far off. I'm fucking—oh, shit—oh no!" you gasped, covering your mouth before anymore foul words could come out on live television. Instead of correcting you, the lady laughed, patting your arm softly. "Can't say that on tv. My bad. I, uh, with everything going on, I've been really tired, and I haven't slept in a week. I just wanted to chill, and accept my nominations at home but someone convinced me to come. So, if I say or do anything ridiculous tonight, I'm blaming him and my lack of sleep."

She nodded, clapping slowly. "I think that's fair. Is that someone, your onscreen father, RDJ?"

"He was one of the many people who unsuccessfully changed my mind, but no, it was Chris Evans. He promised me a day with his adorable dog, Dodger, and I couldn't refuse." you said, grinning at how his face had changed from hopeless to cocky as soon as he brought up Dodger.

"If I'm remembering this correctly, Chris Evans is that very handsome man you had kissed in your music video earlier this year. Into You, right? How do you feel kissing one of your co-stars outside of the movies your working on?"

"Technically, it was still acting, and I have kissed him before, so it wasn't awkward at all." you answered, glad Chris had accepted the role. Not only had it sky-rocketed the views and streams, but it made you feel better that it was his lips you were kissing and not a random model's. Yet, it didn't feel as professional as it had before when you pulled away after a take.

In scenes where you had to kiss the Boston actor, it was as professional as kicking Anthony Mackie's ass in Civil War but the kisses you shared on the set of the music video was definitely more personal. At the time, you had brushed it off as Chris being recently single, but now that you had broken up with Henry, you started questioning it again.

The interviewer nodded, squinting once more to read the words off the teleprompter before asking you another question that would certainly make the headlines. "I've been reading up on all those juicy tabloids and I've got one question that would satisfy my curiosity. Was Into You written about Henry Cavill or Tom Ellis?"

Usually, that type of question made you change the subject or altogether avoid the matter but this time, you wanted to joke about your failed engagement. "Henry, but Side to Side was written about Tom since I wanted more Grammy's considering the last album I put out won me a few. But this time, I'm gonna do it without an engagement."

The woman faked a laugh, surprised by the blunt honesty of your answer. "Um, you certainly do have a thing for British men, eh? I don't want to keep you up, but one more thing, for the fans. They've been dying to know if there's anything going on between you and Chris Evans. Any tea you wanna spill?"

"There's none to spill. We're just friends but it's always amusing scrolling through Twitter to find these edits of us." you replied, fidgeting slightly with the hem of your dress. Like usual, you had wondered if you should've worn something less extra but you had let your stylist play dress up with you for the past few months.

"Of course. Well, good luck to you, and I can't wait to see your performance." she said, giving you a little pat on the shoulders before announcing your name once again.

You got off the little platform, immediately taking Chris' awaiting hand, holding onto it as you climbed down the steps in your dangerous stilettos. Sighing, you leaned on him, trying to avoid the blinding camera flashes. "That was more exhausting than I thought it would be. You need to get me some caffeine after this is over because there's no way I'm making it to the after show without at least a few cans of Red Bull."

"So dramatic." Chris grinned, childishly sticking his tongue out as he guided you down the red carpet, stopping when told to take a picture. He let go of your hand, only to wrap it around your waist as you posed for the pictures. "Are you going to the after party?"

Posing seriously for a few seconds, you let your smile back on your face, facing the man beside you. "I was thinking about it, take a few photos, and head back home. Aren't you?"

"Actually, I was thinking we could ditch it and just hang out. You know, I did promise you some time with Dodger and you could waste a couple hours sleeping." he replied, his hand tightening ever so slightly on your waist. Flashing you a shit-eating smirk, he nudged you a little, pulling you away from the blinding flashes. "What do you say?"

You opened your mouth to answer only to be cut off by your manager, Alexandre coming out of nowhere to rip you away from Chris' arms. The latin man sighed in annoyance, glancing at his watch while giving you the look you've seen too many times before. "You're supposed to be in wardrobe right now. Get your ass backstage, and change before you miss your own performance. As for you, Mr. Evans, Megan wants your ass in a chair."

"I'll see you after." you say, getting dragged by your manager, winking at the actor before walking towards the changing area, the cameras following you until they couldn't enter the area.

Getting ready before a huge performance always calmed you down, maybe it was the smell of makeup or the feel of designer clothing made especially for you, but something about it made you feel comfortable and cozy. It was like a routine, especially with all the music videos and movies you had to film, the makeup, the hair.

They made you sit back, giving you your phone like a child while they made you even more sparkly than before, making sure you'd stand out against the flashing lights during the performance. A performance you made sure no one would ever forget. Smiling, you let your thoughts drift back to a certain super soldier as you were pampered.

—

"Welcome to the People's Choice Awards!"

The room darkened, the blue and pinks lights focusing on the stage as cameras all turned towards your shadow. Making sure your mic was set properly, tried to see past the darkness, to see a familiar face or two but with the headache coming on from the tight half-ponytail didn't help your case. The music started, the beat vibrating, you flipped your hair, and started.

"I've been there all night

I've been there all day (Nicki Minaj)

And boy, got me walkin' side to side (Let then hoes know)"

You rode the bike, belting out in your microphone, the attached headset limiting your movements a little. Gripping the handles, you made eye contact at the camera to your left, winking at it as you pedaled.

"I'm talkin' to ya

See you standing over there with your body

Feeling like I wanna rock with your body

And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin'

I'm comin' at ya

'Cause I know you got a bad reputation

Doesn't matter, 'cause you give me temptation

And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin'"

As you had sung, your eyes had adjusted to the bright spotlight focused on you, seeing a shadow of the one person you wanted to make you walk side to side. While you had answered the reporter's question, you hadn't been completely honest. Some of the lyrics had been written for the Bostonian; or to be more exact, your sex fantasies. With the chorus coming up, you let go of the handles, trying not to fall on your ass as you clapped your hands above your head, the claps matching the beat.

"These friends keep talkin' way too much

Say I should give you up

Can't hear them, no, 'cause I..."

Trying to be bold, you stared at him, his face in particular. The spotlight had blinded you so much that you couldn't see what his reaction was��or anyone's for that matter—but maybe it was a good thing. After all, his gaze always made you blush no matter how hard you tried not to. Pedaling faster, you threw your head back, hoping the motion would draw everyone's—Chris'—eyes on your chest.

"I've been here all night

I've been here all day

And boy, got me walkin' side to side

I've been here all night

I've been here all day

And boy, got me walkin' side to side"

With the help of a shirtless dancer, you got off your bike, taking the sheer jacket from him, and putting it on as you walked towards the front of the stage, moving your hips in to the beat of the song. Resting a hand on a shirtless dancer, you positioned yourself so you were grinding your ass against his crotch, throwing back an arm around his neck.

"Been tryna hide it

Baby, what's it gonna hurt if they don't know?

Makin' everybody think that we solo

Just as long as you know you got me

And boy, I got ya

'Cause tonight I'm making deal with the devil

And I know it's gonna get me in trouble

Just as long as you know you got me"

Sashaying to the little balance beam at the front of the stage, you made sure your hips swayed more than usual.

"These friends keep talkin' way too much

Say I should give you up

Can't hear them, no, 'cause I...

"I've been here all night

I've been here all day

And boy, got me walkin' side to side

I've been here all night

I've been here all day

And boy, got me walkin' side to side"

A few seconds after your note ended, you strike a pose on the balance beam, posing for a few more seconds while the cameras turned their attention away from you and onto the queen of rap herself: Nicki Minaj. The leather, pink bodysuit was identical to yours except for the color, her attitude fitting the badass outfit. She began to walk towards the stage, never breaking eye contact with the camera in front of her while the men pretending to work out to the choreo.

"Uh, yeah

This the new style with the fresh type of flow

Wrist icicle, ride dick bicycle

Come through yo, get you this type of blow

If you want a ménage, I got a tricycle

All these bitches' flows is my mini-me

Body smoking, so they call me Young Nicki Chimney

Rappers in they feelings 'cause they feelin' me

Uh, I-I give zero fucks and I got zero chill in me

Kissing me, copped the blue box that say Tiffany

Curry with the shot, just tell 'em to call me Stephanie

Gun pop, then I make my gum pop

I'm the queen of rap"

By the time she had finished her verse, you had caught up with the multitasking of both working out and singing, able to use your full singing capabilities for your high note. Nicki joined you on stage, hyping up the crowd while you built up for the high note, almost every camera pointed at you except for the one focused on capturing the headline-worthy expression slapped on Chris' face.

"These friends keep talkin' way too much

Say I should give em up

Can't hear them, no, 'cause I...

"I've been here all night (Been here all night, baby)

I've been here all day (Been here all night, baby)

And boy, got me walkin' side to side (Side to side)

I've been here all night (Been here all night, baby)

I've been here all day (Been here all day, baby) (Ooh, baby)

And boy, got me walkin' side to side (Side to side)"

Both you and Nicki motioned for the dancers to come towards you, curling your index finger at the sexy men. Singing the refrain, you both made them drop to their knees in front of you, as if they were kneeling at your command.

Just as the last note was sung, everyone clapped, the majority standing up, and more cheered. You noticed Chris hadn't done either, still sitting in his motionless while two camera men pointed their cameras at him. Your eyebrows furrowed, thankfully after the spotlight had shifted over to the miniature stage where the two hosts were babbling about nominations.

You were ushered off the stage along with the queen of rap herself, taking a few backstage photos before quickly returning back to your dressing room to change into your tailored dress. Your mind had wandered to why Chris hadn't applauded—not that he was obliged too, but a little something would've nice, especially with all the days put into the performance.

Taking a deep breath, you entered the big room, filled with your co-stars and other A-list celebrities. Little did you know you'd find out the reason to your question in the morning.

—

The loud ringtone woke you up, the sound obnoxious and borderline abuse to your ears. Beside you, Chris groaned, rolling onto his stomach, trying to muffle the sound of the call with his arm draped over his head. Putting him out his misery, you lazily reached for your phone, pressing the green button with dread, seeing the name across the screen.

"Hello—"

"You're trending on Twitter." Alexandre announced, happy with the results of the previous awards show. While it wasn't something as big as a Grammy or Oscar, judging by the amount of awards you had taken home, you became the people's favorite. "Hold on, lemme rephrase that. You and Chris are trending. Number one, world wide."

Glancing at the man sleeping beside you, you sat up, confused by the information given to you. You blamed Chris for making you stay up so late for your confusion. "Um, why? Did I accidentally have another nip slip?"

"What the hell?" Chris mumbled, rolling onto his back, his arm grazing your bare stomach. He immediately took it back, sitting up to look over your puzzled face. "What's going on?"

You shrugged, putting your phone on speaker so Alexandre could explain. Your manager chuckled, knowing you had stayed the night with Chris. He was just waiting for the day you'd finally have the guts to speak about the growing sexual tension. "Okay, Alex, explain."

"As much as I would love to go into full detail, I have other stuff to do so, I'm going to give you the basics. Chris' reaction to your performance went viral, people are shipping the both of you, and there's been thousands of memes made." Alexandre replied, a smile evident in his voice. "Anyways, I have to go. Got some interviews to schedule. Have fun getting your way out of this, Chris."

Your phone screen went back to the home screen, a picture of your family dog, Buster, smiling widely. Looking at Chris, you saw his eyes widened, his hands coming to rest of his face in embarrassment as he fell back onto the bed with a bounce, his head nearly hitting the headboard. "Oh, fuck."

"Are you going to show me what your face looked like or do I have to scroll through Twitter until I find it? Oh! Maybe they edited it in my performance." you thought out load, tapping on the YouTube app. You hadn't trusted yourself enough to log into your official account, knowing you'd probably make a mistake so you opted for having a secondary account where you could watch cat videos without the anxiety of posting something stupid.

Chris' hand snatched your phone away, tucking it in his pocket, the sweats he had slept in was somehow wrinkled, and his shirt damp from the warmth. "You wanna get some food? I'll cook some bacon but you'll have to make the pancakes 'cause the last time—"

"I wanna see your reaction." you whined, reaching across his stomach for your phone. Chris turned his body away from you, shielding the phone from your reach. "Chris!"

He waved your attempt away, rolling off the bed, his feet hitting the floor before you could fall back on the mattress.You poured, getting on all fours, crawling towards the edge. Chris took a step back, brows furrowing. "It's not important. Let's get you some food."

"Fine." you mumbled, an idea making you light up. Rolling off the bed, you glanced at his phone on the nightstand, exposed and easy to take. With quick reflexes, you grabbed his phone, rolling back on the bed until you reached the other side, making it impossible for him to reach for his phone back.

"Hey!" the Bostonian shouted, launching himself on the bed in attempt to get his phone back. He made a noise as you rushed out of your room, locking yourself in the nearby bathroom, laughing evilly when he threw himself at the door. He yelled out your name, his fist banging on the door. "I'm serious! Don't!"

Ignoring his begging, you opened his phone with your thumbprint. How ironic how much he didn't want you to look at his phone when he was the one who insisted you have the password to it. His arguments became louder as you opened up his Twitter, immediately heading to the trending section, seeing both your names at the number one spot.

"Damn, I look hot." you joked out loud, making Chris silent for a second before pleading for you not to continue. You smirked, scrolling through the tweets, trying to find his reaction. "Jesus Christ, what the hell happened to you? Did you fall on your face or something?"

Chris groaned, banging his head on the door in defeat as he heard your almost inaudible gasp, that quickly turned into little giggles. If he wasn't so embarrassed, he would've broken the door down to hold you in his arms. "Oh, no."

Bursting out into hard laughter, you fell into the large bathtub, hitting your head on the wall but you couldn't care less. The expression on his face during your performance had been borderline comical, the wide eyes, the jaw hanging open, the open hand resting on his chin while his eyes stayed strained on you the whole time, never wavering from your body, the sexy choreography making his jeans tight.

Cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West, tears ran down your cheeks, your stomach cramping from the maniacal laughter. Lifting yourself up from the tub, you stumbled to the door, your loud laugh ringing out towards the whole house. You let Chris in the bathroom, his phone quickly taken from your hand but it was too late. The blush on his cheeks wasn't going away anytime soon. You leaned against him, your head resting on his chest, while you panted out a question. "Why did you look like you were trying to attract flies in your mouth?"

Chris groaned again, covering his eyes with a hand while the other rested on your back. "You're not going to let me live this down, are you?"

"Oh, God, no." you giggled, wiping the tears away, beginning to calm down. Glancing up at him, you noticed everything above the shoulders was gleaming red, the embarrassment too unbearable for him. "Chris, you looked exactly like the first time we were forced to share a bed together."

"Yeah, you have that affect on me."

"You gonna tell me why you looked so ... shocked? Or do I have to search through Twitter and go with whatever fan theory makes the most sense?" you asked, unable to keep the smug grin off your face. Chris closed his eyes, wishing he hadn't made you come to the awards show in the first place. You raised an eyebrow, fingers itching towards his phone. "You know I'll do it, Evans."

The man raised his hands, taking them off of you as he paced around the bathroom, deciding if this embarrassing moment was the right time to finally confess. "It's just, you know, the dance was so ... sexual and hot that I probably wasn't the only one looking at you like that. You can't exactly blame me for being shocked, watching the girl I'm in love with—"

Chris stopped as you be watched the colors drain out of your face, immediately freezing when he realized what he had said. Both of you stared at each other, eyes wide, not moving a muscle, barely blinking; the atmosphere so tense neither of you were breathing, waiting for the other to talk. But neither of you wanted to go first, terrified.

It wasn't until you started to feel dizzy that you realized you hadn't been breathing, letting out a huge breath, trying to relax while Chris did the same, his hands shaking, a nervous tick he got whenever he was anxious. You got the courage to speak first.

"What?"

It was better than nothing.

Chris was so nervous he nearly ran out of the room. There wasn't some kind of handbook or script he could read, helping him tell one of his best friends how head over heels he was for her. So, he said what his brain was stewing. "What?"

"What—what?" you replied, unsure if he even said the L word, so lightheaded by the sudden confession.

The actor stilled, eyes widening even further, while his eyebrows shot up his forehead. "What?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Say what one more time, Evans, and I will make nothing but mac and cheese for the rest of your stay." you threatened softly, getting tired of not having an answer to your one-worded question.

Chris took a deep breath, hands trembling as he clasped them together, hoping to find the right words, hoping his inner thoughts would come out clear, giving you the answer you asked for. "I'm sorry. What do you want me to say?"

"What you were saying before. You know, before you looked like you saw a ghost and almost stopped breathing. I think that would be a good start." you replied, backing up to take a seat on the plush chair. Chris mirrored your actions, putting down the lid to the toilet before sitting down.

"This isn't the way I wanted you to find out." Chris whispered, his blue eyes trained on the emotions that flashed on your face. Your uncertainty of the situation didn't help his anxiety.

"Okay, um, were you going to tell me in the first place?" you asked, playing with the hem of your shirt—it had been a borrowed Patriots shirt from him. Looking back, you realized all the little things he'd done hadn't been because his platonic love for you. "Or were you just going to keep letting it be this way?"

Fidgeting with his hands, Chris peered through his eyelashes, seeing the hurt flash across your face before you quickly composed it. "Scott was hyping me up, trying to convince me to tell you before you got into another relationship. Do you know the real reason I broke up with Jenny? It hurt like hell when you announced you were engaged. Fuck, I couldn't even pretend to be happy because you were going to have the life I wanted with you, with someone who wasn't me. It was selfish and I got really mad at myself for being a dick."

"But—"

"And then the horrible, horrible relief I felt when you called off the engagement." Chris continued, his heart clenching. "Truth to be told, that was the day I found out I was in love with you, breaking things off with Jenny. Of course, I wanted to wait until you moved on, hoping to be the friend you went to but with my schedule, that was impossible. So, you seemed out comfort in Henry fucking Cavill."

"You're in love with me?" you whispered, hoping this wasn't some kind of cruel dream. If it was, you wouldn't mind staying.

The actor nodded, waiting for you to call him names and rush out. "Yes. You can leave or slap me or whatever you want to do but I love you."

You got up, running a hand through your hair. "Okay."

Chris' heart sank, wishing for any other kind of reaction, wishing you'd do something. Taking a deep breath, he got up. "Is this a goodbye?"

Frowning, you walked up to him, taking his face between with your hands, pressing your lips softly to his. You could feel his heart beat, the little organ beating so hard. You pulled away before he could recover from his shock, before he could kiss you back.

"Hello."

[anna-elizabeth-jason]

"How It All Began" (abstract)

a Far Cry 5 fanfiction WIP

Anna Elizabeth Jason has two weeks to solve the Eden’s Gate doomsday cult problem before she gets suspended.

Instead of arresting Joseph Seed, their leader, she had walked out of their church because of a premonition that had suddenly taken hold of her.

With no useful plan at hand, and colleagues that are rightfully upset with her, she starts investigating the Seed case.

First item on her list: Interviewing residents of Hope County.

But a literal and maybe fated accident turns the scales: She runs into John Seed.

During their surprisingly enjoyable getting to know each other, he tells her that in order to get her questions answered, she better read the Word of Joseph.

“I’m not trying to proselytize you, Anna. I’m just saying that this book holds a lot of answers to your questions. And - you have to admit - one cannot judge correctly, if the judgment is not based on all facts available to one. One doesn’t need to like or approve of those facts… but one should never ignore them willingly. Be it out of fear or out of negligence. Deputy… if you stay open and true to the facts, I swear to God, no harm will be done to you.”

Anna knows that John Seed cannot be trusted, despite his apparent goodwill. She is not deaf to his constant, subtle threats. However, she agrees to read the book in the hope of learning more about the Seed family’s psychology.

And that she does.

Diving head first into the depths of human behavior, cunning mind games, crumbling family structures and intentions that aren’t as black and white as they seem at first glance, Anna doubts all decisions in her life that have led her to the now.

Will she stand up to the hopeless endeavor of solving the case nonviolently, freeing Hope County from the threat the cult imposes?

Or will she get crushed between the opposition on both sides, with things ending in escalation, inevitable deaths and even the Collapse?

WIP 99 pages 51,438 words 1/3 finished "PEGI 16" Not native speaking, so mind all my mistakes <3

I think I’ve decided to start posting the chapters, even though the story is far from being finished. But I love it so much and I want to share it with you! I don’t know if I’ll ever manage to finish it, mainly because of my energy level, my all-time enemy. But also because I feel like I should be spending that energy writing another actual book.

I was gonna say I don’t have one lined up for this year, but that’s not quite true. I’ve actually published two books this year! English translations of my German kid’s guidance books, but hey, doesn’t matter! (I had some divine help <3 )

So, stay tuned for the first 23 chapters of my “How It All Began” Far Cry 5 fanfiction project. :)

Oh and yes... I've actually created all props from the story, as seen on the picture. I'm crazy. I know. I love it. :P

Btw, I love you all so much. Thanks for your awesome posts and your reposts and your likes and your comments. And thanks for your love for John. Because love is what he so badly needs... <3

[korissideblog]

ohhh i'm lowkey very proud of this one <333

sillie little characters: Hiroharu [@compoundhero ] Michiko [@residentquirksupport ] and Ikuto [@the-heartbeat-hero ] <3

i didn't finish all the sketches i wanted for this fic, but i also wanted to get it out today, so maybe i'll reblog it or edit it later with the drawings <3 there are like two that i finished on time, but ahugghieisdifs whatever. it's officially midnight and i have work tomorrow <3

(also, if heartbeat-hero is reading this, thxs for reading over it for me, and i changed the ending a tiny bit so you could have something new to read <3)

“And then he’s going to put the ring on you-”

“But the ring is poisoned.” “Yes, we’re not gonna let it touch you. We’ll be there before anything happens.”

“Alright and- you can go tighter than that Mich.” Aito said, looking over his shoulder to Michiko, who was busy tying Aito’s corset.

“Any tighter and you won’t be able to breathe. You’re gonna be wearing this for longer than you think.” Michiko warned, tying the knot as flatly as she could. “Plus the dress is already fitted, if your waist gets smaller the fabric would look baggy.” Aito fought the urge to roll his eyes and turned back to Hiroharu.

“You know Jeje, I thought you would have brought me a gift.” She said, crossing her arms. “New silverware or something.”

Hiroharu closed the file in his hands as he looked at Aito in confusion. “Why would we have done that?”

“Because!” Aito said, walking to the other side of the dressing room, passing Ikuto- who’s been nervously rearranging Aito’s bouquet for the last 20 minutes- and unzipping a huge dress bag. A short but fluffy white dress spilled from it, and Aito unhooked it from the hanger.

“I’m getting married!”

______________________________________________________________

Aito was kinda spacing out a bit.

In his defense! He’d already done the walking-down-the-aisle-over-pretty-rose-petals bit, and that’s all he was really looking forward to at his wedding.

He knew Haru and Michi and Iku would be here any moment to break up the arrangement, but he had to play it cool, smiling and giggling at her groom as he read his vows.

Haruto Suzuki, better known as the White Phantom, was Aito’s target. He was cunning and malicious and a hopeless romantic to anyone who could get ahold of his list of ebooks. Aito spent almost half a year in this role-Ichika Yokoyama, for the time being- and worked a bit harder than necessary to get close to Suzuki. She just liked her cases ending with a bang, and what was more exciting than a wedding?

______________________________________________________________

Hiroharu listened intently to the wiretap under Aito’s dress, trying to time the ambush while the support team rounded the back, ready to catch any of the villains in attendance. The support team was being led by Michiko over radio as Haru focused on Suzuki.

“-I promise to always remember that you are indeed human. That you may sometimes make questionable decisions, decisions I don't agree with, like when you got a red velvet wedding cake when I asked for vanilla”

The reception laughed and Haru could hear Aito smack Suzuki’s hand playfully. At least she was staying in character.

“But that’s just it, isn’t it? You’ve always been like that, headstrong and sure of yourself in ways I could never be. You’re always right in the end- red velvet is my favorite flavor, I was just worried about other people’s opinions.- and… and I think that’s why I love you, Ichika.”

“I don’t think I would poison someone if I loved them.” Ikuto huffed, trying his best to stay in his chair in case pacing would alert anyone to the ambush.

Hiroharu remembered the call well. The one where Aito told him that he found messages between Suzuki and another villain, messages describing how Suzuki knew that Aito was speaking to someone behind his back. Secret calls to Michiko and Ikuto about the mission turned into hidden calls from a lover in Suzuki’s eyes, and he was going to take his revenge. Hiroharu was ready to pull Aito out of the mission then and there but… Aito wanted to continue.

“He didn’t tell me that he knew.” she reasoned. “If the wedding goes as planned, there’ll be at least 3 villains in attendance, as well as a few people who might have information that we need! He’s not gonna kill me before the wedding, so let’s keep going!” Hiroharu hated this plan, but Aito was stubborn enough to get her way.

Hiruharu noticed a slight change in Suzuki’s voice, silently getting Michiko’s attention with a wave of his hand. The vows were about to end.

“And that’s what today is all about… it’s not about arguments over cakes or venues or honeymoons… it’s about getting past all those arguments and realizing that… that I would go through a thousand more if it means I get to wake up next to you tomorrow.”

And Aito laughs, tears threatening her makeup as she gives the signal that the ring is in his hand- it’s time to go.

______________________________________________________________

The small reception turned to face the doors of the building as the heroes crashed through it, but the entire room stood still as the scene settled.

There he was, Aito Takao, Ichika Yokoyama, the blushing bride… with a golden band on her finger.

Aito’s eyes drooped a bit, as if she couldn’t figure out what she was looking at. Her hands clutched weakly at Suzuki’s lapels as she tried to regain her balance, his breathing getting heavy as he tried to stand up straight. “H-Haru…?” she asked just above a whisper, nobody sure of which one she was talking to as her body leaned back and she fell to the floor, limp as a corpse.

… a corpse…

Hiroharu could… he could feel Michiko’s hand clutching his wrist, but it was like he was remembering it, not like it was happening currently. Like he was asked to describe what happened as he watched his friend collapse into a pile of lace and satin, white and cold like a dead dove. Asked to describe the feeling of loss as he felt Ikuto slump onto his shoulder, holding onto his sleeve as if he couldn’t stay upright, like his body told him to meet Aito on the floor. Asked to describe Aito, her breath shaky and pained, the last one leaving her chest like a deadly flower wilting.

Something wicked… but also delicate in it’s own way.

What Hiroharu couldn’t describe was the sound. He knew there was silence, the telltale ringing of the room as no one dared inhale, as if Aito’s death would proceed all of their own, but there was also something else.

There was laughter.

Laughter Hiroharu recognized well. Notes and melody that he could recall from his high school years, a finger pointed at him as his friend laughed at whatever trick she had just pulled.

And oh what a trick he had pulled.

Aito sat up lazily, looking up at her groom- the villain shocked and nearly shaking as he looked down at his corpse bride- laughter spilling from her lips like blood as he gazed at the man in black through her eyelashes, batting them playfully as he finally calmed down enough to speak.

“Oh, you think I’m stupid, right?” He asked, one hand sneaking under her skirt. “Thought you could just kill me- didn’t wanna talk out our issues, baby?” He spat, his teeth pearly white and dangerously sharp as she smiled. From under her garter she produced a short poll, which when swung extended into his iconic golden colored staff. Aito took the ring off his finger as he stood, holding it up to Suzuki like a prize.

“I switched the rings~”

______________________________________________________________

“I can’t believe you did that.” Ikuto sighed with exhaustion, the fight was finally over, looking over the party as Michiko and the support team made quick work of arresting everyone involved. “I was so scared- I thought you died.”

Aito shrugged and continued eating the small slice of red velvet cake he somehow managed to salvage after Haru threw a guy into it. “That happens sometimes. Who’s feeding Jiji while I’m away?” He asked, as Ikuto realized that Aito really didn’t know what he did wrong, and also realized that he didn’t have the energy to explain.

“One of your neighbors. She’s like 2 doors down-“

“You got Hasegawa to feed Jiji!?” And now it was Ikuto’s turn to roll his eyes at something he saw as minuscule. “I hate her! You know that!”

“You don’t have to like her for her to feed Jiji.” Ikuto responded, his dismissal similar to Aito’s. Aito responded with her usual dramatics, shoving his plate into Ikuto’s hands as he turned to the gift table, sorting through the things that could be evidence (all of it) and the things he wanted to keep (also all of it). He held up a little envelope, and read the words on the front aloud. “Suzuki, for you and your new wife- and two bodyguards.” He tore it open with curiosity and four tickets fell into his hand. “Oh they‘re for-“ Aito gasped quietly as he read the name on the ticket, immediately holding it out to Ikuto. Before Ikuto could actually read the tickets, Aito stepped away and jogged over to Michiko.

“Mich~” Aito sang, holding up the tickets, but failing to catch Michiko’s eyes as she watched through the open doors, Suzuki in handcuffs being escorted into a large black SUV. “guess what?”

“Do you… Aito?” Michiko started, as if she was unsure about whether she wanted the answer to her question or not. “He… I know he’s a villain and he’s done terrible things but…” she leaned her head so she could see the SUV drive away. “He thought… I mean… he really thought he was going to kill the love of his life today.” she held herself, as if just the thought of it brought a coldness that would make her shiver. “I mean could you even imagine-” and then… she looked at Aito. Aito, with his droopy yellow eyes, completely unfazed by what Michiko was describing.

She knew Aito could love. She knew that Aito loved his mama, and Ikuto like a brother, and she knew that Aito loved her and Haru like best friends but… given the blank stare… she wasn’t sure if Aito…

“You dated him for half a year- Aito, he even asked you to marry him.” Michiko said, trying her best to describe her ideas in a way that Aito could understand. “That whole entire time did you ever… you know…?” Aito seemed as though he was about to respond, but paused, as if he really wanted to think about his answer.

“He… he really had a thing for poker.” she started, watching as the last of the SUV slipped behind the horizon line. “He’d play with his friends and… if he won big he’d…” Aito raised her hands gently, as if holding something delicate. “He’d buy me a dozen roses… and he’d tell me I was on his mind. That I was his good luck charm.” he laughed, recalling how silly it all sounded. “And… for just a moment… I’d forget it was all a job.”

“Hope I’m not interrupting.” Both of the women jumped a bit as Haru came up from behind them, quickly turning to face him and forget their prior conversation. “Ikuto said Aito found something and she wanted to show us.”

“Ohh Boss!” Aito chirped, immediately snapping out of whatever mournful spell him and Michi were under. “You’d never guess!” she then held out the four tickets for them to examine. “Pack your bags! I know where we’re going next!!!”

[pancake-breakfast]

I think one of the things most strongly affecting this trend is the age of the mangaka; the writers of all three of these series are Millennials. We are a generation that can't help but be defined in some way by 1) DRASTIC changes in technology and lifestyle between our childhood and our adulthood and 2) the Great Recession, which also hit Japan. And one of the major things you realize going through both of those is that you are absolutely not in control of things.

So much of what we were told adulthood would be turned out to be just... very, very incorrect. Some of that was foreseeable (like climate change and the dot-com and housing busts); some of it (like the rise of the internet as a primary form of doing... well, basically everything) wasn't. And so suddenly we found ourselves as the up-and-coming "adults" in the world with none of the money or power or influence we were promised we'd have, no way to get any of that, and somehow in charge of a dying world that the people who hold all the money/power/influence refuse to help fix (or, in many cases, even admit is dying). Instead, they bitch about how we're killing off blood diamonds and napkins, and insist we'll somehow have the money we need to buy houses and try to raise kids if we just give up avocado toast.

For the two of those manga set in more modern times (JJK and CSM), the Millennial-ness bleeds off everywhere. Gojo and Nanami, despite being very different, bond over a desire to somehow protect the youth, and both of them plus Geto all have a deep desire to burn down a system that they feel has betrayed both them and every subsequent generation, even if they each have different ways they want to do that. Denji was born in 1980, so technically he's a year off from being a Millennial, but those at the cusp of any generation cutoff get a weird mix of both the generation they're in and the one they're right next to. So he gets to share in the Millennial crisis of (while managing to move up in the world) having a good number of his dreams fulfilled in ways that leave something to be desired, and finding that even when the disappointment of those sub-par fulfillments is subdued in some way, he is ultimately betrayed and used by the same promises he trusted in.

Which, now that I think about it, is probably why in Part 2, he's spending so much time trying to carve his own way.

Just as Gojo and Geto (and to a lesser extent Nanami) are trying to find new ways forward that fly in the face of the ways handed down to them.

I could get into a tangent on how these feelings of hopelessness, betrayal, destruction, and lack of control reflect in recent American politics, as well... but it's late, I'm tired, and quite simply, I don't want to do that here. Maybe someone else will or maybe anyone who reads this will just have to do their own research. <shrug> Point being, regardless of our different ideas of the how (or even the why) of it all, many Millennials are very disenchanted with how little we can do to save the world (literally and/or figuratively), and it's inevitable it's gonna show up in our stories, our art, and the things we gravitate to. (I know it's not anime, but see also the popularity of the movie Everything, Everywhere, All At Once... a movie made by Millennials, for Millennials, that absolutely has some thematical overlap with all of the above.)

Anyway, another effect this has on the current shonen offerings (especially these three titles) is making it so these are not just fun and/or interesting adventures for Gen Z/stated target shonen demographics, but making them resonate hard with Millennial readers, which increases the popularity of these stories due to the broader audience appeal. This can, of course, drive market trends to give rise to other titles that do the same or have similar themes... and if they're well-written enough, they'll likely find a niche in the current market, too.

And I look forward to finding and enjoying them in turn.

(I realize I haven't really talked about how AoT plays into this... but 1) I'm anime-only, so I'm not sure I'm entirely qualified to speak on that, 2) I think AoT is trying very, very hard to provide a more broad approach to a lot of its themes, so while it seems to touch on Millennial themes I'm not sure that it does so because they're Millennial themes so much as because history has a tendency to repeat itself, and 3) aforementioned tiredness, and AoT can't help but be a big ol' can o' worms.)

I wonder if it says something about modern anxieties that so many shounen heroes these days are so…fundamentally powerless.

Attack on Titan: protagonist dies (or he looked dead for a hot minute) in his very first battle

Jujutsu Kaisen: protagonist dies in one of the first arcs

Chainsaw Man: protagonist dies in the first arc

Maybe it’s just a narrative thing because people are tired with classic shounen power scaling? I guess Attack on Titan doesn’t quite follow the pattern because the protagonist does end up being all powerful. But I noticed that in JJK and CSM there’s this distinct feeling of meddling with powers beyond your comprehension and never being fully in control, leading to apocalyptic scenarios. Hmm. Are there other manga/anime like this?

[zosociologist]

“Dating Johnny Thunders would be like...” Headcannon

(a/n: I will either be loved for finally making this, or hated because it took this long; this is also kinda longer than my usual dating headcannons because I was really feeling the first meeting idea; "MWABRIM" you know da vibes😌🍷)

Warnings: Implied smut, but nothing severe.

(a/n: ALSO, I MADE THE FOLLOWING GIF MYSELF BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE CITIZENS OF TUMBLROPOLIS DON'T KNOW WHAT A MATTRESS IS DUE TO THEM SLEEPING ON JOHNNY FOR ALL THESE YEARS)

You and Johnny met each other under funny circumstances

You own a nice little unisex boutique that all the lovers of ✨G L A M✨ and daring fashion are OBSESSED with

Rockers, groupies, and even big artists and musicians alike are in and out of your store daily for eye-catching and jaw dropping pieces

It only made sense to see him come in one evening with a friend of his that didn't look too bad himself

You were ringing up a customer, but not really paying attention to their advances as they were trying their hardest to flirt and fucking FAILING.

You were too busy checking out the dark haired guy staring down a pair of cheetah print platform boots that you'd love nothing more than to see him rock the hell out of😩

Everything was good until you were caught slipping and he saw you eyeing him returning a cute smirk in your direction...

In which you panicked and finally went back to minding the customer who finally gave up with the flirting

By the time you looked back over to the table stand with the platforms, he and his friend were gone, and so were the cheetah print boots (you celebrated in your head over that little detail) they had moved onto looking at blouses

About two customers later, you turned around to place a black sheer glitter and feathered robe that a customer decided they weren't getting in a basket to return to it's aisle, when you hear someone on the other side of the counter clear their throat and greet you-

Slightly startled yet hopeful you turn around a little faster than you would have liked to see the dark haired mystery man and his friend ready to check out-

"I didn't mean to scare you", "No! It's fine I was just putting away some things, you didn't scare me at all. Did you both find what you were looking for?", "Yeah everything turned out fine, this is a nice place you've got here. You don't have to worry, we weren't gonna steal anything, in case that's why you were peaking a little."

You wanted to sink into the floor-

"Oh god no, I didn't think that at all- *immediately thinks of lie to cover up that you were staring because he's hot* -I just saw that you were looking at the cheetah platforms, I'm glad you're getting them. They'll look good on you(:" *you had to take a chance bc you'd never forgive yourself if you didn't*

It payed off and THEN some. He introduced himself as Johnny and his friend's name was David. He told you about their group and invited you to see them the following night

Of fucking course you were gonna go see them, how could you say no?!

The following day you closed the shop early and rounded up some close friends for pregame and then you all headed to the club where "The New York Dolls🍸" would be playing, and to your surprise the person at the door said that you were on "the list" and guided you and your friends to one of those rounded booths close enough and with perfect view of the stage.

When the show started the boys came out and you saw Johnny. With a Gibson Les Paul Special in hand. And wearing the fucking platform boots. The match you lit to light your cigarette almost fell on you while you watched in awe. The whole show was nothing less than an out of body experience that you'd replay in your head for weeks to come.

After the show when the crowd died out, you and your friends stayed back as ordered by the same doorman.

When the Dolls came out from the dressing rooms you all got acquainted and they invited you and your friends to this cool afterparty and you and Johnny were together the entire way to the kickback just vibing off of the concert high✨

The afterparty was a blessing in disguise because in the house where it took place there where so many spots where you two could be away from the crowd and just talk and actually get to know each other

So there you both were, lounging in a poolside conversation pit just watching the stars and getting wrapped up in deep and meaningful conversation (all elevated by some trees you scored from one of your friends to smoke😌)

Okay so maaaybe you both got really into the moment. AND MAAAYBE you ended up having fucking COSMIC high sex when you both ditched the party and headed back to your place. BUT WHAT MATTERED MOST is that you really love this guy and he loves everything about you😩

He admires you and loves your bold persona and lifestyle and you love his drive and will to just exist and perform unapologetically

Johnny is a man that loves to give affirmations, he absolutely loves to praise you and give compliments whenever he can. He was over at your apartment once helping you rearrange your living room, and you were hanging up a painting that you got recently and hung it up crooked on accident....this man said that the crookedness adds 💫character💫 to the room....😗.......chile.......anyways........

You love the fact that he is actually a hopeless romantic so you don't feel cheesy when asking him out on a stroll in the park or to go stargazing, most of the time he beats you to it actually!

You are convinced Johnny is obsesssssed with your apartment. He always jumps at the opportunity of you inviting him over because you make it such a safe space. He writes a lot of his music over in this one corner of your bedroom where you managed to fit a green velvet corner sofa, next to this big window that overlooks other apartments and the city skyline.

You also have a collection of memoirs and other books that you hold dear to you and he very much enjoys laying his head in your lap while you read to him and then discuss thoughts and interpretations about each chapter. You usually follow up these literature hours by blazing some herbs while you play a few choice records. That's a typical Sunday evening for you guys.

The support you two have for each other is OFF THE CHARTS. You show up and show out for EVERY one of his shows and you'd always tell your friends, and then they'd tell their friends and the chain continues.

Johnny is in your boutique Every Other DAY. Either by himself or with one of the boys and it's worse than before now that you've given him a pass to inventory. He buys the good shit before you can even get them onto the shelves and hangers😖

He also finds it hot that you can flip the sign on the dressing room doors to occupied (he likes to see how quiet you can stay when he-....you know😉)

Did I already say that he loves everything about you? BECAUSE HE DOES. You're like a- in his words, "fucking ANGEL that was sent down as a pardon in this cruel world💞"

He absolutely adores your skin and loves to watch you take care of it, and he loves when you wash and take care of your hair as well and even asks to help you out sometimes. His favorite thing ever is helping you put curlers in and massaging your scalp with oil or grease, it feels like you're getting a spa treatment to him and honestly, it kinda makes him feel like he doesn't do anywhere NEAR enough to keep his hair healthy like he should.

He loves your smile and how you laugh at some of the shittiest jokes and even things that people wouldn't understand. Your occasional jists of sarcasm always get him too.

He also likes to hold you. There will sometimes be random points in the day where he won't say a word, just walk up behind you and rest his head on your back. You never question it, you find it wholesome and endearing. And sometimes you do the same thing. He could be in the middle of practicing on his guitar and you'll just lay your head on his shoulder and he'll put everything aside just to give you his attention because he feels you deserve that much, and then some.

You both have a passion for many interests and a passion for each other and that's why you work so well together

Call it cliche if you WANT but you were literally MADE for one another💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

[hannie-dul-set]

(thirteen times) i love you— 03

— wherein y/n (a hopeless romantic) seems to fall in love with nearly ever guy she meets. so, she writes letters for them to compensate. these letters weren't meant for them to read, but what happens when they all end up receiving them?

03 // dumb excuse

word count: 2.3k

a/n: hello hello, part three is here!! lmk what you think hehheheh 👀✨

part 4 will be on July 16th, 8:00 PM EST!

« prev | next »

masterlist

"Wait, so you're saying, Choi Seungcheol, aka Mr. Boy I Loved # 12, volunteered to help you retrieve your letters back?" Jiyeon asked in disbelief before taking a sip on her carton of milk.

"I know right! God, I don't know what went inside his head for him to decide to help me," you groaned, "What if he's just doing it to make fun of me?" With a whine, you buried your face in your arms.

"I doubt it," you heard Hyerim respond from behind you. Tray in hand, she makes her way towards Jiyeon and takes a seat beside her, "I think he's gonna expose you to his friends first, before making fun of you."

You threw your crumpled trash at her and shot her a glare, "I hate you," once again, you let yourself drown in your arms.

"I'm only joking," Hyerim laughs, "Besides, Seungcheol really is a nice guy. I'm sure he's genuine in trying to help you," you could hear Jiyeon hum in agreement.

You let out a huff, "I hope you're right— I have to meet up with him in a while," you took a glance at your watch— ten minutes until you and Seungcheol had to meet. He agreed to give you back your letter, and afterwards, the both of you were to formulate a plan on how to retrieve the rest.

"Uh oh, you better head out then," Jiyeon remarked, "I could see one of your ex obsessions breaching the perimeter," she nudged her head at one of the cafeteria tables. You slowly turned your head towards the direction, letting out a groan upon seeing your editor-in-chief, Jeon Wonwoo. If he won't confront me about the letter, then he's definitely gonna kill me for not heading to the clubroom yesterday— none of which I'd like to experience just yet.

You grabbed your bag in a rush and stood up, "I'll see you guys later," you bid your friends farewell before briskly walking towards the cafeteria's exit, hoping that the male didn't see you.

You let out a sigh of relief once you reached the hallway. You heard a buzz coming from you pocket and you assumed that was Seungcheol.

[seungcheol: hey im at the tables outside. where are you]

[you: im omw, had to deal with sth just now]

You finally arrived at your destination. You scanned the area for any sight of the male, and you managed to spot him sitting on one of the tables at the far end, tapping away on his phone.

[you: im here]

Immediately, he looked up from his phone. A large smile appeared on his face upon meeting your eyes. He waved his hand, beckoning you to come over, and you followed. You could feel a slight tinge of nervousness as you neared closer to the male.

"Hey," Seungcheol greeted you, a grin on his face and you offered him a tight lipped smile in response. His happy expression morphed into a frown, "What? You still don't trust me?" He pouted.

"It's— It's not that," you bit your lip, looking away from the male, "I'm just embarrassed— that's all," you heard him chuckle at your explanation, causing you to glare at him. He patted his hand on the chair beside him, urging you to take a seat. The glare on your face was still present as you sat down.

"No need to be embarrassed, Y/N, it's all in the past," Seungcheol opened his bag, his hand reaching in for something. In one swift motion, he pulls out your letter, "Here," he smiles at you, "I'm sure you've been wanting to get your hands on this."

Letting out a small shriek, you snatch the object from his grasp, "Oh my god, my baby—" you bring the letter to your chest, a relieved sigh escaping your lips. You stay in that position for a while, not paying any attention to the male that's been looking at you with a small smile on his face the entire time.

"Damn, I knew it was important to you , but I didn't know it meant that much," Seungcheol's voice interrupts your mini-episode. You sneered, "Of course, you wouldn't know," you stayed silent for a moment before facing the male, "But, thank you."

The gentle smile on Seungcheol's face never falters, "No problem," he adjusts his seating position before speaking up once again, "So, what are you planning on next?"

You rested your chin on your palm, your free hand twiddling with the letter, "I don't know, " You sighed, "But as much as possible, I'd like to avoid facing my disaster head-on, thank you very much."

A disapproving sound escaped Seungcheol's lips, "Tsk, that won't do," He scolded you, "You won't be able to accomplish anything if you do that,"

"What else can I do?" You groaned, "I don't exactly have the guts of steel, Mr. Choi Seungcheol."

"That's why I'm here, Y/N," he sent a wink at your direction. God, you really wanted to smack him, but he was right. You won't be able to go anywhere if you don't confront them— that is unless you consider sneaking around and taking the the letters without their knowledge, which you're totally up for, by the way.

Your meeting with Seungcheol sadly got cut short by the bell ringing. The both of you stood up and started to gather your things. You slipped the letter into one of your notebooks— you'll place it in a safe box later when you get home. One down, twelve more to go.

The both of you head inside the school building in silence. Seungcheol tapped your shoulder, causing you stop your legs. You face the male, raising your brow at him as you wait for what he has to say.

"I'll talk to you later, yeah? Tell me if anything happens," he smiled. You gave him a quick nod before the both of you finally parted ways.

Surprisingly, you managed to trek down the hallway without having to hide yourself in another locker or having to run another god forsaken marathon. You hadn't ran into any of the boys yet which is definitely good on your part since you weren't mentally prepared to face any of them yet (Seungcheol was an exemption).

You entered class, and lo and behold, Seungkwan was sitting on the desk right beside the door. You let out a yelp, loud enough for half of the class to hear, and you quickly slapped your palm onto your lips. Luckily, the professor wasn't around yet— with yesterday's events, he probably wouldn't let this one slide.

You timidly shuffled around the classroom and decided to sit down at the very back— not your preferred seat, but you wanted to avoid the male as much as possible. While taking out your things, you heard the screech of a chair from beside you, followed by the sound of someone sitting down. You turn your head to see who had decided to sit next to you, and the moment you saw the person— you paled, eyes widening and choking on literally nothing in the process.

"Don't think you could run away just like last time, Y/N— you have some explaining to do," Seungkwan warned you before giving his attention to your professor that had just made his arrival.

Okay, that was unexpected. You only anticipated three things to happen whenever any of the boys decide to confront you— they'll either reject you (obviously), make fun of your cheesy writing, or profess their love for you in return (highly unlikely). You clearly didn't expect a threat.

For the rest of the class, you could only think about Seungkwan's words. You yourself know that you obviously had to explain things, but how did he know? You mentally cursed at yourself. Focus on class, Y/N, think about this shit later. You weren't gonna lie, this entire situation was really giving off a negative impact on your studies— well, your whole life, in general— but all you could do was suck it up, the educational system doesn't give a fuck about the students' well being, anyways.

The bell rang, signalling the end of your class and the beginning of your ruin.

You raced towards the door, hoping to evade the male's confrontation, but for some reason, the path to the door seemed way longer than it was supposed to be (plus the fact there's literally a large mass of students trying to get out, as well). You had no choice but to accept your dreaded fate.

Seungkwan appeared beside you, holding a tight grip on your wrist in case you try to run away (a good idea on his part). You furrowed your brows. It confused you as to why he was so adamant about having you to explain the reason for the letter. Maybe it could be something else? If so, then it must be really really bad for Seungkwan to act like this. At that thought, your nerves started to surface even harder than before.

Upon reaching the hallway, Seungkwan wordlessly dragged you to a corner. The students that were around gave the both of you questioning looks as you passed them by. The male decided to stop, and without even giving you much time to think, he uttered out,

"What the fuck?"

Your features morphed into a mix of confusion and alarm. What? The male probably noticed your expression, and he let out a heavy sigh.

"Look, Y/N, I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but it's not fucking funny," Seungkwan glared at you, causing you to flinch. "Vernon approached me yesterday after school, saying he received a letter from you— a love letter, to be more specific," the male's glare doesn't leave his features.

"Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"

You bit your lip, trying to think of the proper words to say, "I—I can explain, Seungkwan—"

"You better," he snapped. "I honestly do not understand you, Y/N. We used to be friends— hell, Vernon even considered you to be his best friend, years ago. I know it may have already been six years, but do you think it's okay to try and lead two people on?"

You stayed silent. You wanted to wait for him to finish before reasoning yourself out.

"Not to mention that one of the two literally used to be the closest with you, Y/N." Seungkwan's tone started to become softer, "He may have left that day, Y/N, but Vernon doesn't deserve the shit that you're trying to pull."

Seungkwan looked at you, waiting for what you have to say. You breathed in, hoping that the male would understand you explanation.

"That was never my intention, Seungkwan, " he scoffed but didn't say anything, "Actually, those— those letters weren't supposed to be sent in the first place."

Seungkwan eyed you in disbelief, "I thought you were smart, Y/N, but that's got to be the dumbest excuse I've ever heard."

"I'm telling the truth, Seungkwan. You were never meant to read that— those letters were written for myself," You explained. It's clear that the male still doesn't believe you, but you persist, "I wrote Hansol's letter after he left for America, I wrote your letter when you rose me up while I was absolutely devastated that he left. Everything inside those letters were true— I really did love the both of you."

Seungkwan didn't say anything, but his eyes remained on you.

"And you were never meant to find out."

It was quiet— the only sound that emanated from the both of you was the sound of your heavy breathing. Seungkwan didn't look at you, his eyes were focused on the ground beneath him. You pressed your lips together, afraid if the male believed your words or not. A sigh escaped Seungkwan's lips, he raised his head and looked at you in the eye.

"Alright," he breathed, "I believe you."

It felt as if a heavy weight was lifted from your shoulders. You were about to collapse onto the floor out of relief (and you really couldn't face him anymore after all of that), but Seungkwan wasn't finished.

"But, that doesn't mean I'm still not mad at you," Your face dropped. What else does he want? Your mouth formed into a frown. The window seemed really tempting right now.

"I'll be honest with you, Y/N. I was actually really pleased upon receiving your letter, but Vernon wasn't," Seungkwan stated, distress evident in his voice and features, "To put it in simple terms— he feels like shit."

You furrowed your brows, "Wait, why?" Seungkwan let out a sigh, his hands started to fidget.

"I don't know what exactly you wrote in his letter, but he says he feels really bad for leaving you," he explained, "I mean, he felt bad even before, obviously, but he feels like absolute shit for breaking your heart without knowing."

Oh no. Your heart fell. You didn't want anyone— especially Vernon— to feel that way because of you. It wasn't his decision to leave in the first place. If anyone were to blame, that was you for literally having zero control over your feelings.

"Listen, Y/N," Seungkwan's stern tone interrupted your turbulent thoughts, "I'm not returning your letter unless you talk to Vernon."

"I was planning on talking to him, anyways! God, I can't just let him beat himself up for that," Your voice ended up being louder than expected, eliciting a flinch from the male before you. You mumbled out a quiet 'sorry' before speaking out again.

"But," You sighed, not looking at the male, "I don't think I'm ready to talk to him yet."

"I'll be keeping your letter for the meantime, then," Seungkwan remarked, "As his best friend, I can't stand seeing him like that, Y/N. But he won't listen to anything I say— he'd only listen if it comes from you."

Your eyes were stuck to the floor as you heard Seungkwan making his leave. You stood there in silence, reflecting on what the male had just said. Closing your eyes, you let out a sigh.

You'll talk to Vernon sooner or later, but for now, you have other problems to deal with.

[broccokei]

You should do all of the muse ask. I'm curious! :3

omg okay i mean now is probably not the best time for me to answer these considering it’s 5:30am and i’m an emotional lil shit but wHO CARES i’m GOING FOR IT (and lmao you don’t want to know why i’m awake, but go ahead and take a guess 😉)

How good are you at…?💋 - kissingWell, I’ve had tons of practice so I’d like to think I’m rather good at it? 😂 I mean, hopefully at least.👼 - babysittingDUDE, I am THE SHIT as a babysitter. Kids literally love me. I have no clue why but they’re like drawn to me for some reason and I could literally not do anything and they’d smile and laugh. It’s LIT.🍛 - cookingLMAO I suck. I can like… maybe make a frozen pizza. Honestly my 9 year old sister cooks more than I do.💃 - dancingUm well… I took dance basically all my life so I should be pretty good, but I also have been out of practice for several years. Although last year I did get a dancing part in the school musical, so I guess I must be pretty decent?🎭 - acting/performing artsLmao I’d love to think I’m super talented but I don’t feel like I am. 😅 I mean, I finally got lines in our spring play last year so maybe I’m getting better?🍻 - tolerating alcoholHA so I’ve never had alcohol but I’m just gonna say right now that there’s NO WAY I’d be someone who tolerates it well. I’m honestly really curious as to what I’d be like, but I’m going to take a wild guess and assume I’d be EXTREMELY flirty and want to hug literally everything in sight. (Ok but.. that’s me sober too 😂)😠 - managing with their temperLMAOLMAOLMAO I don’t manage my temper, that’s the funny thing. So I guess I suck at that. I legit freak out when I’m mad, it’s not fun.📝- planning and following their planI’d like to think I’m pretty organized but I also procrastinate more than should be humanly possible soooo… I suck at sticking to plans.🎤- singing😅😅😅 Everyone says I’m really good but I think that’s FAKE. I wish I was. But I get so nervous? Like when I’m alone in the shower I’m the BOMB at singing but then I get in front of people and want to scream.🙊 - keeping secretsOH MY GOD. FUCKING ASK MY BOYFRIEND. He would LAUGH if he saw this. I literally am the worst at keeping secrets on the entire planet. Like if I know there’s something I shouldn’t tell someone, I immediately want to blurt it to them. And when I try to surprise my s/o? I can’t keep it secret, I’m just too excited!!! (With that said if it’s seriously important that I keep a secret for someone, I can still be trusted to do so, don’t worry 😉)🌷- taking care of plants/petsWell… I’ve only ever had fish as pets and I accidentally killed 2 out of 3 of them so I think that’s answer enough. 😂😂😈 - manipulating with othersUm… no? If you haven’t met me I’m kind of the sweetest, nicest person you’ll ever come across. I couldn’t do that to someone. But people sure have done that to me!!! 😉😉😉 (Hi hello meet my 5am bitter self)🏊 - swimmingI can actually swim pretty well, which I don’t think anyone actually believes! 😂 Like if my life legit depended on it I’d trust that I could save myself.😂 - telling jokesI’d like to think I’m pretty damn funny. 😎😎📰 - keeping track of world newsI AM THE WORST AT THIS. My buddies will message me about something that happened and I’ll be like,, lol what? When? @ace-is-on-the-case @legendrarrymalfoy��� - worlds history knowledgeWell,, I think I do have a pretty good knowledge of it? But then I go into my AP history class where legit EVERYONE is smarter than me and I want to DIE.⌚- keeping track of timeLmao no. I lose track of time so easily.💪 - staying fitBAHAHAHAHAHAHAA WHO DO YOU THINK I AM?? 😏 - lyingNope nope nope. I’m the worst liar lmao. You can tell when I’m lying. If it’s something embarrassing I’m lying about you bet my face will be red as hell. Otherwise I’ll just smile or laugh or something. I just c a n’ t.🚗 - driving a carI have my license finally and I’ve gotten pretty good! 😎 I mean I don’t crash into poles anymore.👗 - dressing with styleWell I feel like anyone who knows me would disagree, but I think my style is pretty cool tbh. 😉 My colored skinny jeans and trashy edgy shirts. Good times.🔮 - magicYO I W I S H I COULD DO MAGIC.🔪 - melee weaponsI don’t think me and weapons belong in the same sentence. I passed out with a knife in my hand once, I mean come on. What an IDIOT. 😂😂🔫 - ranged weaponsI held a gun like once !! But I’ve never shot before. I kinda want to,, but ?? Who knows, maybe I’ll unlock some secret assassin powers I never knew I had. Maybe I’ll BE Bucky Barnes 😉😉 ( @capsicleamerica why am i like this ??)💞 - expressing their feelingsTERRIBLE. I AM TERRIBLE. I CAN NEVER PUT INTO WORDS EXACTLY HOW I’M FEELING AND IT’S UPSETTING. But actually physically I’m so much better at it. Like hell yeah I can shower someone with affection, but when it comes to explaining why it is I want to shower them with affection I want to D I E.😓 - acknowledging mistakesI hate admitting I’m wrong. 😅 So really bad at this.🎺 - playing an instrumentTHIS IS THE ONE THING I DO THAT I WON’T BE MODEST ABOUT!!! I’M FUCKING GREAT AT GUITAR AND LITERALLY NO ONE WILL FIGHT ME ON THAT!!!!!!🎁 - making giftsI’m the BOMB at gifts. I’m such a hopeless romantic it’s not even funny.✊ - keeping promisesWell, I’m pretty damn good at it. Considering, promises weren’t made to be broken. But yunno,, what do I know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It’s not like, woah, people have MORALS or anything!! 😡 (Lmao sorry I’m only a little bitter about some shit from a few years ago)