#but i'm also fully prepared for them ruining it and me hating it

[lenievi]

being half done with s1 of SNW reminded me how the writers didn’t really disappoint me in s1 (there might be episodes I enjoyed less than others, but that’s just my taste and sometimes even how I felt that day, overall the characterization - which is the most important for me - was consistent and the characters all fun), how they more or less even validate my own readings of TOS (especially with like T’Pring, but also other small things)... and how ever since Discovery, I was never ever disappointed with their interpretation of Spock and his interpersonal relationships

which is now unfortunately leading me to have more trust in s2 too

and I really don’t want to be disappointed

[coff33andb00ks]

3am - LN & OP

lando norris x oscar piastri

summary: look at the stars, look how they shine for you warnings: angst, pining, not proofread songs: yellow and fix you by coldplay coldplay is landoscar coded wordcount: 1.3k a.n.: writing this in the hopes landoscar get out of my brain… shout out to the four moots that encouraged this. also not tagging anyone because it's 2:30am and I'm exhausted.

He can't sleep. It isn't unusual, his insomnia tend to rear its ugly head when he least needs it. He only wishes he could prepare in advance, that it was a cycle that he could predict and plan for, like his sisters with their apps that are set to warn the entire family when their PMS is approaching.

Dragging a hand over his face, he glares at the ceiling. Great. Now he's thinking about his sisters' cycles.

There's nothing for it but to just get up. No use fighting it and tossing and turning, that only leads to—

A husky moan. Teeth sinking into the lip he'd just sucked. Jaw carved from the gods' finest marble clenching.

"Lan…"

Cinnamon and mint.

Dreams that will never come true.

He presses his hands to his face, hunching over on the side of the bed. The hotel room is too small, too warm, too—

Lonely.

"Fuck this," he hisses, on his feet and snatching up his hoodie.

Torture. He willingly submits to it, knowing it will only leave him feeling hollow and alone when he returns to his room. But it's all he has. All he can cling to on a night like this, when the voices and thoughts won't stop, when the butterflies and bees are swarming inside him.

When the doubts and the worries rise over the shoddy façade of outgoing and joyful, there's only one thing that can quell them.

One person.

He's pinned his hopes all on someone who can never fully know the truth. The one person who understands him best, who knows him better than he does himself, whose name he proudly wears on his wrist.

The last person he wants to lie to, but shields the truth from.

The truth. The tiny, glowing ember of good sentiment that has somehow been crafted among the ruins of his fractured existence. He holds it closer to his heart than his very soul, fearful of it dying if revealed to a cruel world. Or, worse, an uninterested recipient.

He stares at the door. It's – he pulls his cracked phone from his pocket – almost three in the morning. Horrible friend, waking him this time of night.

A muffled sound. A footstep or a chair sliding under a table. His rounded shoulders straighten, his lowered head lifts.

He knocks. Just twice, like he always does when it's just him. If someone was with him it would be incessant. Knockknockknockknockknockknockknock— fucking hell, what?!

The door opens and he breathes in shampoo and lingering steam.

The universe hates him sometimes.

"Lando?"

One day, the sound of his name in that voice won't make his heart do that weird flippy thing. One day, it won't make his lip quirk up into a half smile. One day, he won't sigh.

Not today. Not tonight.

"Osco."

Osco. Osc. Os. Oscar looks at him with that confused pinched brow that immediately relaxes.

What's it like, to really be seen?

Heartbreaking.

Oscar steps back without a word and weak legs carry him into the mirror of his room. The bed is messy and it makes his stomach clench.

Dreams.

"Sor—"

He quiets with a look. He ducks his head, picking at his fingers. He wants to apologize again, for apologizing to begin with, and he wants to apologize once more for always needing to apologize, for being such a fucking mess that he is standing here in Oscar's hotel room at 3am instead of sleeping peacefully in his own.

"Tell me about it?"

Not what's wrong. Not why are you here. Never leave me alone.

Always tell me about it. Share your worries, lean on me, I'm your friend and your teammate, you're not doing this alone.

"I don't…" Wanna talk about it. Just let me stand here. Bask in the calming glow of your star until I can pretend to be a human again. "I don't… Why are you up?"

Oscar shrugs. His smile is faint. "Had a feeling."

"Oh." Oh. Because he hears the unspoken words, feels the unspoken sentiment.

Had a feeling you'd need me, so I waited up for you.

He wants to cry because no one else cares enough to wait up for him.

"Oh."

His face looks haunted, his eyes like they may produce tears at any second.

Heart in his throat, he sits on the bed. He knows better than to prod, knows all too well that the golden man standing by his suitcase will snarl and bite when provoked. So he waits.

Watching.

He's tense, his deceptively lean frame giving off waves of stress and worry and—

"Can't sleep," Lando whispers.

Exhaustion.

He nods, even though Lando isn't looking at him. Except he is, he can see his reflection in the mirror. Stormy green eyes are watching him, as though he holds all the answers to the world's problems.

Or, if not the world's, Lando's.

Same thing.

"I'm worried about tomorrow." A humorless, breathy exhalation that passes for a chuckle. "Today."

He's been worried since Austria. His insecurities are rising after simmering since Miami when the world's stage witnessed his greatness.

If I don't keep winning how can I prove I'm worthy?

If I don't glow for the world how can anyone love me?

"I hate Silverstone," he breathes.

Not the PR lie, about how special his home track is, the memories he has of it as a child, how the crowd gives him an indescribable energy. He hates it for the expectation. It's his home race so he has to perform well. His car has to be the fastest, the strats have to be impeccable, because he can't let the people that believe in him down.

Worse, he can't let himself down, as he's been doing for two months.

Oscar's heart splinters. No one will ever be as hard on Lando as Lando. No one takes on the blame for an entire team, an entire grid, like the man turning and sinking onto the bed.

Not the golden man the fans and media see, but the shy boy Oscar knows better than he knows himself. The perfectly imperfect extroverted introvert with a heart as pure as the twinkling stars in a night sky. The favorite child still terrified of disappointing his parents, the favorite brother that cries when has to miss an important milestone.

There's a space between them and before the billions of reasons he shouldn't come to mind Oscar closes it. The stars are there, twinkling still, shielded behind a cloud. Their arms touch and he wishes he could exhale and send the clouds away. He can't though, so he sits and waits, umbrella at the ready, an open ear and a sturdy shoulder.

It's a small percentage of what he's willing to give.

It's all that's wanted.

"Tell me I'm stupid."

"You're not stupid."

His shoulder's round and he's staring at his hands. Picking at his fingers. Knee bouncing.

Pure frenetic energy.

Oscar watches the knee and the fingers. Sees his own hand reach out.

Cool fingers, warm hand. Pale over gold.

Chins lift, heads swivel.

Mint eyes. Worry and heartbreak spill over and his own name is a whispered prayer.

Osco.

"You're not stupid," he says. The floodgate opens. "You don't have to believe that. I'll believe it for you until you're ready. I'll believe in you when you can't. I'll stay up 'til 3 so you can rest. And I'll provide the words you pretend to not remember."

That you started doing to make me feel needed. It worked. And now I know you do need me but more importantly I need you.

Golden fingers spread, slotting between his.

The clouds thin and the stars shine brighter than ever.

[salvadorbonaparte]

How to set up a research journal

This is just one way you can set up a research journal but it's helping me tremendously so maybe it also works for you. My set-up is partially inspired by this video by Answer in Progress and I suggest you check out their curiosity journal.

Preparation

First you need a notebook. The trick is to find a notebook that you're not afraid to "ruin". We all want a really neat, aesthetic research journal, but the reality looks more like hasty scribbles, but that's okay, that's where the research breakthroughs happen.

I personally bought a cheap lined notebook from Søstrene Grene that I thought looked cute and put a sticker on it. That way I feel good about using it but I also don't mind when my handwriting gets messy because it was only like 3€.

You should also stock up on pens you like writing with. Different colour highlighters and post-its are also a good idea but not a must. Keep it cheap but comfortable.

Title Page

Here you should put down all the really important information: year, title, deadlines, word count, supervisors. Maybe add an inspirational quote to spice it up but keep it simple and relevant.

Key

This should either be your next or your last page. I personally use the last pages of my journal so I can add thing and find it easier. Your key is there to list abbreviations and symbols.

For example, I have different symbols for statistics, dates, new terminology, questions, breakthroughs, important notes and abbreviations for the most important terms in my field. It's shorter to write T9N than Translation.

The trick here is to have enough abbreviations and symbols to save time and effort but not so many that you constantly have to look back and forth between your page and key. They should be memorable and not easy to confuse.

Topic Mind map

If you hate mind maps you can skip this of course or use a different method but what helped me is to visualise all the topics that connect to my research project in a mind map. I then colour-coded the main groups of topics with my highlighters. It helps me to keep an overview on how many topics I need to do research on.

Proposal

If you're writing a thesis/dissertation it can be helpful to have a page set aside for your proposal and take some bullet point notes on methodology, chapter structure, research context, aims and objectives and think of some titles. You can also do this for your lit review and a list of works to include.

Hypothesis and Question Pages

I set aside four pages for this but you can adjust this to your needs. The first page is my hypothesis. It doesn't have to be fully formed yet, it can just be bullet points with five question marks. You can always revise and update it but it is important to keep an eye on what you're actually trying to find out.

The next idea is basically just stolen from Answer in Progress: a section for big questions, medium questions and little questions. These aren't necessarily hypotheses you aim to answer but questions you have about your topic that might be good to look into (maybe they lead somewhere, maybe they don't).

Research Notes

Now comes the big, fun part. Research notes are allowed to be a little messy but you should have some sort of system so you can actually find what you're looking for afterwards. I'm currently just looking at books and articles so that's what my system is based on. You can totally adjust this to include other forms of research.

What I do is that I put down and underline the author and title of my source. Underneath that I use my highlighters and mark the topic of the paper based on how I colour-coded them in my mind map. You might have to do this after you've finished reading. For example, if a text talks about censorship and dubbing in Germany, three of my topics, I will draw three lines in light blue, dark blue and red, the colours I chose for those topics. This way you can easily browse your notes and see which pages are talking about which topics.

When it comes to the actual research notes, I include the page number on the left and then take bullet point notes on whatever is relevant. These are often abbreviated and paraphrased but if something is especially important I will write down a full quote.

As mentioned earlier, I have a key of symbols I use so I can simply put down a '!' in order to differentiate a research breakthrough from a normal note. You can insert your own thoughts much more easily when you know you'll be able to tell them apart later on. At the end of each article, book or even chapter I write down my main takeaway.

Other Notes

This is your research journal and you can do with it what you want. I also added lists of films that might be relevant for my research, a list of databases and publishers to check for papers and tips on research strategy.

If you're working with interviews or surveys you could write down your questions. If you're nervous about your research you could include a list of reasons why your research project is important or why you're doing it. You can include a to-do list or a calendar to track meetings with supervisors. Anything that helps you with your research.

[sarnai4]

Wedding Plans

Thanks to YouTube, I was reminded of a show where the premise is the groom has to prepare a wedding without the bride knowing what the heck he's got in store for them. Chaos naturally ensues, but then it got me thinking about Dragons. I sorta would love to see this happen in their world. It would be amazing.

Astrid wouldn't even know how to respond. Half of the wedding would be really sweet like when Hiccup tried so hard to get her that betrothal gift. The other half is just dragon themed and completely lacking those little details she thought he'd include (cue how he missed that she was wearing the aforementioned betrothal necklace). They'll have her favorite foods, but there are a dozen Terrible Terrors who carry flower bouquets all over the place. At the end of the day, she knew what she was getting into with him. It's not the wedding she expected, but it's one very fitting for the dragon trainer.

I'm not even entertaining the idea of Ruffnut getting married. Sorry (not really). Love her, but I cannot see her in a serious relationship. She's a love 'em and leave 'em type. So, she doesn't have to worry about not getting the kind of wedding she'd like. It's not even happening.

Stoick would have done a nice job. I feel like he'd have found a really pretty outfit for Valka and got some musicians to play their song for them when they dance. (Too bad she's probably about to leave as soon as the reception is over)

Even though I don't see Tuffnut getting married, him planning a marriage for his imaginary S.O. would be hilarious. This is the most bonkers wedding ever with plenty of disgusting-sounding desserts, explosions, and boar wrestling. Everyone's tired and most likely horrified by the time they go home. His gift request list is also extremely unrealistic. No, Tuff, we cannot get you the sun no matter how shiny it is.

Fishlegs would plan a sweet wedding. Nothing too wild happens, but it's nice. There's a large banquet too. Really large. It's probably the most ridiculous part of the whole experience.

Snotlout would try to act like he's hating it, but he'd have an amazing time and plan out everything really well. He's turning into one of those TV wedding planners with a book to help him keep track of everything. Do NOT mess up anything. He's not even playing around with the twins until this is over. Someone better keep them far from him so that he doesn't have an emotional breakdown when they inevitably ruin something. He is absolutely stressing out about every detail and won't be satisfied until the actual wedding day. Bridezillas have nothing on Snotty.

Dagur fully embraces the role and loves it. He's planning a load of activities so that no one's bored, is bringing in all the best cooks, and has so many decorations that it takes about an hour to just find everything there is to look at. It's beautiful and Mala realizes she made the right call by giving him the reins with this. If he has too much fun, he might just start planning weddings for the other Berserkers and Defenders too. No point in letting that creative mind of his go to waste. (I do not forgive RTTE for only showing us the official ceremony. I wanted to see the wedding! I bet it was a really fun time, so boo to them for not showing us. We didn't even get to see the cute couple's dance)

If Gustav ever found someone willing to marry him, he would be a great example of why the show had drama. Don't trust him with a wedding...or anything for that matter. That's a good rule to live by.

(I'd also enjoy that show where the weddings compete. Gustav is dead last; Tuffnut gets points for creativity; Stoick and Fishlegs are in the middle with it not being overly remarkable but nice; Hiccup was almost put below them for all the wildlife, but it's still sweet enough for him to get a better ranking; and I actually have no idea who's winning between Dagur and Snotlout. Ties aren't allowed in that show, so...yeah, not sure. Figuratively speaking, they both win since their friends and loves are having a great time)

[tys-kitty]

Well it ain't quite a cottage, but I do live in the country! It's one of those small everyone-knows-everyone towns and there are at least 5 other towns in walking distance.

I don't mind London as a day trip. During the summer my mama and I are going up on the train to visit some of the museums and see a show, but I don't think I could handle being there long term. I'm very much a homebody, you know? Most of mom's side of the family is down here with us, and I think if I didn't have that support system I would break down in a week.

I first read the Percy Jackson books when I was eleven, and I was practically vibrating waiting for the show. In the books it always broke my heart that Percy had to tell Annabeth her brother was a traitor, but honestly Annabeth being there made it so much worse! Leah is such a brilliant actress that I almost started crying!

If the picture Percy keeps of Annabeth in the next season is not one of her at Disney world, I may actually riot! "Be a kid" MY HEART

I think the angst may be one of the reasons QoAaD is my favourite. Sometimes you just need a good cry and a hopeful ending, you know?

(Also the art piece in particular I was talking about was this piece

https://images.app.goo.gl/hkPrdB6a1ad5YrB48 )

Sorry for ruining St. Valentines day for you, I guess? I know it's kind of morbid but I love the story. It's one of the only holidays I actually observe.

So I had never heard any of the songs you picked, so here's a running commentary:

Say don't go

"I would stay forever if you say 'don't go' " HOLY GUACAMOLE ITS SO KIT

"And I'm yours but you're not mine" I don't know if this is what you were thinking but I think to the Blackthorns (at least subconsciously) they're always gonna be Ty's Kit and Livvy's Ty.

"I said 'I love you'/you say nothing back" ITS LITERALLY THEM

"But you won't" it's so them it's actually painful

Into you

"A different country, yeah, maybe that'd be better" Kit absolutely heard this song and took it literally

"I wish we didn't have so many friends in common" that is in fact the downside of making friends with your crushes family and only your crushes family

"So I don't run right into you/even though that what I wanna do" it's so Kit it hurts

"I'm so defenceless when it comes to you" I fully believe Ty, Tessa, Jem and Jace are the only people to really see through Kit's guard (maybe dru, I haven't finished Secrets of Blackrhorn Hall yet)

I miss you, I'm sorry

"You said 'forever' in the end I fought it/please be honest are we we better for it?" Honestly, I think even if the resurrection hadn't happened, they still would have ended up splitting up for a bit, if only so Ty could learn to be just-Ty and not Ty-and-Livvy

"You said 'forever' and I almost bought it" I'm crying

"Nothing happened in the way I wanted/every corner of this house is haunted" screaming, crying, throwing up etc

"Everything I know brings me back to us" no but really, Ty and Kit only knew each other for what, a few weeks? Maybe a month or two at most? (I'm not good with timelines) But everything keeps coming back to each other, no matter how much they may not want it to

I know it won't work

"But it's a lot/all the shine of half a decade fading" I know it was only three years for them, but seeing them break down years worth of inaccurate mental images is going to break me

"And part of me wants to walk away 'til you really listen/I hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different" Cassie is a big fan of miscommunication, I know this, I'm prepared for this, I'm probably still going to end up crying tears of frustration

Your song choices have left me shaking, they're so perfect it's unreal

If I had to choose?

The night we met by Lord Huron

Let me down slowly by Alec Benjamin

Oh boy. Um, can I say all of them? Probably not. Magnus and Alec, definitely, as well as Kit and Ty. The third? Probably Henry and Charlotte

My hard question: top three platonic relationships in TSC?

-☀️

(P.S. don't worry about it, you take as long as you need)

I totally relate! I‘m also from the countryside, but am currently spending a lot of time in the city because of university. (To be fair the city isn‘t that big and has about 1 Million citizens)

You definitely have to tell me what your favourite museums and spots in London are! When I visited London last summer I was extremely fond of the Fleet Street, the St. James Park and the National Gallery. And I totally understand you (I’m a homebody myself). So when I moved out last October it was really tough and the only thing that was really reassuring was the fact that I share a flat with my sister and drive home every weekend (the city is only an hour ride from my hometown so it‘s fine)

So true! I‘m actually thinking about rereading the PJO books after watching the series. And yes Leah did such a great job, she‘s just the perfect Annabeth! I‘m so excited for the next season, I always loved the second book! Which PJO book is your favourite btw? Mine would have to the fourth (I have always been super interested in the labirynth!

Okay okay, I have to give it you. I‘m currently rereading QOAAD and I absolutely love it. It‘s been four years since I read it and I totally underestimated how good this book was. It has so many interesting plot lines and I just CAN‘T STOP READING!

Please don‘t feel sorry for sharing the true Valetine‘s story with me! It‘s actually super exciting to learn new things every day!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMFG! Not you listening to each song and sharing your commentary with me? 😭 I absolutely adore you for that (and sorry if those songs left you shaking - I think that‘s part of the experience)

STOP! The night we met is one of my favourite songs of all time and fits them so well! 🥹 And let me down slowly?

It fits them so well oh my lord 😭 (I love how we are giving each other song suggestions that are perfect for another nightly KitTy cry)

The really hard thing about this is to only name three because I love so many! But if I really must pick three it would be: Ty and Julian, Jem and Will, Matthew and James

What are yours?

My hard question: Your two favourite parabatai couples in TSC

[chlorineloki]

i’m sorry i’m going on another rant but this ship enrages me; i think they should be besties, not romantically in love. that’s how i originally read it, and i hope the show backtracks a little bit and makes that real, because they do NOT need to have romantic feelings for each other. like it seemed like they were just trying to figure out how to CARE about others, not like they were in love. i think they have deep platonic love for one another, but i see no reason that it needs to be/ should be romantic?? i think they’re both just trying to figure out how to express that for each other, and they’re really awkward about it, so it ends up being expressed a bit weirdly. i really really hope s2 does this narrative and they don’t end up as a couple. it just doesn’t feel right.

idc about the selfcest or whatever bc they’re completely different characters. the actors even have some chemistry, but i just do not like this ship as romantic, i see them as friends. i’m curious to see as well if sylvies feelings were genuine, or if she was trying to manipulate loki to get what she wants. i hope they can be friends without the writers/directors ruining it and making them actually fall in love.

taken from a quora response (i know i hate that site too but this reply really made sense):

“I glanced at the other answers and everyone seems pretty sure that they are madly in love. I have to say I disagree.

The Loki we know has truly experienced trauma throughout his life. He was basically abducted as a baby for lack of a better term, lied to, etc etc. He doesn't trust people. I would go as far as to say he doesn't even put any effort into liking them. As much as I do believe he loves Thor, it is a love-born out of initial obligation. I think that loving/caring about anyone outside of your immediate family is always different. And that the first time you do it, it has a learning curve. What a lot of people read as soft loving romantic feelings, I read as Loki slowly lowering walls.

I think that at the moment when Mobius was pruned, Loki truly was heartbroken, because he considered him an ally and a friend. Possibly his first. Imagine not having a single friend in a thousand years. After having that kick ass fight, working with Sylvie against the minutemen, he grabs her shoulders, I don't think he was going to dip her and kiss her. Ala a Peggy/Steve or Tony Pepper moment. Or declare her his one true love.

I think he was going to declare that he trusted her and that he wanted to fight alongside her. He was going to tell her everything that she missed, everything that he thought they should do next. He was fully prepared to do the same thing with Mobius, He just never got the chance. He's never known how to trust someone and now he did. And in his mind the first part of that is declaring it. Declaring that you aren't trying to betray that person despite it kind of being your calling card.

Could I see a romantic relationship in the distant future? Maybe? Everyone seems to look at the variant thing differently. To me none of the variants are the same. They look different, they act different, they were raised different, and they don't even appear to have the same genes. Literally twins are more similar than the variants. A lot of people are also saying that him caring for her is similar to him accepting himself because they share so many traits. But that is a kind of relationship that can be found in a person who isn't your trans-dimensional variant. Oftentimes our best friends, our platonic soulmates, are people that we see ourselves in the most.

There's a quote that I don't remember exactly. But it goes something like, “You will find that in your life there are people who will know your soul from the inside out and the great tragedy is that these are rarely the people you spend your life with." I thought of that quote several times when I was watching the last episode.

I personally really like Sylvie as a standalone character, and at this point I'm just hoping that she lives to move on in the next phase of movies. Because honestly, I like Tom Hiddleston, it would be cool for him to have a romantic relationship with anybody. But more than anything I'd love to see him in his mischievous glory with a best friend egging him on.”

[misty-doodles]

Bad things happen Prompt 3

@badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: Friendship Falling Out.

Read chapter Three under the cut or on Ao3.

Kousei apologized profusely when Arisu returned, a guilty look on his face as he cradled Arisu/s bruised wrist. “I did this for you. I didn't mean… I just wanted you to listen, baby, I'm so sorry,” he whispered, and how could Arisu ever be mad when he felt so guilty? Arisu, despite the pain, knew he could never stay mad at Kousei, and he hugged him tightly, a silent assurance that he'd forgiven him.

Usagi didn’t seem to share his kindness, but it had always been that way with her distrust, so he didn’t mind.  After all, Arisu had also been selfish and hurtful, and in the end, one night of uncomfortable conversations was the least he could do for his boyfriend. With a suit bought by Kousei, and his hair and make-up done with an uneasy Kuina, Arisu was more than prepared to shoulder the night.  

No matter how much he assured her that it wouldn’t happen again, that Kousei wouldn’t want to see him hurt, she never seemed to fully believe it. She fell silent when he pointed out Chishiya and her friendship. After that, Usagi chose to keep her comments to herself, but he knew now that she hated him.

When he announced that he was prepared to move in with him, it was a mix of emotions and responses. Although they tried to appear happy for him, they still held a certain air of uncertainty, as if to disapprove. Chishiya said something about it moving very quickly, even though they’d been dating for nearly 4 months; Kuina scoffed about him spending more time away from them, as if moving would change that; Ann remained more or less silent, but her eyes said everything they needed to; Usagi wished him the best, but her eyes stayed glued to his wrist.

Arisu knew from that alone that Usagi had broken her promise, and had gone and told their friends about their fight. His heart shook wildly in his chest at that, and he struggled to keep his calm for the remainder of the night. Of course, she meant well, Usagi was his friend and cared about him, but fuck. 

That was private. It wasn’t her place, especially when he told her to keep quiet. He never confronted her about it, that just wasn’t his style, but he made a promise to himself. Usagi wouldn’t be someone he’d be going to anymore, not if he couldn’t trust her. 

Besides, he was happy with Kousei, happy to move in with him and have a house away from his family. While his father had been awkwardly supportive, it seemed even Hajime felt things were going too fast. At the very least, it had little to do with his boyfriend, which was all Arisu could really ask her.

“I told you they weren’t trustworthy,” Kousei said when Arisu tentatively brought up Usagi. Arisu had expected him to be angry about their fight being exposed, but he only seemed disappointed. “It’s not your fault that she saw, or that she couldn’t keep her trap shut. From here on out, let's agree to keep our relationship issues between us, alright?

At the time, it served to both comfort and confuse him. While happy he wasn’t ruining his relationship, and to know that Kousei was forgiving, there was something else. Why did he assume there would be more problems to hide? Arisu lost a good hour of studying due to overthinking about that, but when Kousei returned home from work and pulled him for cuddles, he resigned to forget about it.

Until Kousei slapped him. He didn’t remember what argument had sparked it, but he did remember the sharp spike of pain radiating from his cheek. The force of it caused his head to snap to the side. All at once, he fell deadly silent, wide eyes shakily shifting from the wall to his boyfriend’s cold face. It was the same sort of calm rage he used in the courtroom.  

“If you won’t listen to me, I’ll have to take action,” he spat coldly, contrasting sharply with the gentle way he cupped his stinging face. Arisu couldn’t begin to form words, his head a storm of emotions and fear. Kousei promised not to hurt him again, but he also said it was for the best. “You know I do this because I love you, right?”

“Of course,” he stammered. Arisu was just being difficult, it was his fault for all the pain this caused. The pain in his face was simply a reminder of that, and an almost comforting one at that. No matter how difficult he was, Kousei wouldn’t give up on him. No, he’d be there to correct the bad behavior.  “I love you too, Kenji,”

Arisu kept it to himself this time. It was easier since the redness faded after about a day, and no one asked. It wouldn’t do him any good to create friction with his friends, especially when many of them already hated Kousei. It saddened him to know that they couldn’t get along, that he would never have those two parts of his life together. 

Then again, Niragi was sort of the same, in the sense that the girls hated him and Arisu hated to plan different times to meet all his friends. It made him wonder what the scarred man thought of everything, if he was ever told. They had a game night coming up, the one time Arisu could justify stuffing himself with unhealthy foods. He’d been doing very well in avoiding them, so surely he deserved a treat. 

___

By the time he returned to the house – their house! — it was already creeping up at 3 am. While he had plans to leave earlier, Niragi had convinced Chishiya into a game of Hollow Knight. Watching the blond-haired man grow increasingly frustrated with every platform he missed, and every death had been well worth it. Chishiya preferred puzzle games if he ever played them, and while strategy was his strong suit, platformers were, in fact, not. 

He hardly made it ⅓ into the game before he tossed the controller at Niragi and went to bed. Regardless of the late hour and his exhaustion, Arisu entered his home with a content grin and a warmth in his bones. God, he forgot how much fun he had when spending time with his friends.

Arisu also forgot that Kousei was expecting him home hours ago. The man stood unimpressed in their mostly dark living room. Just like that, any warmth he had was replaced by an icy cold dread. Fuck. 

"Where the fuck have you been, Ryouhei?" he growled, sending shivers down his spin. Kousei didn't often get mad at him, at least not for long, when he did, it never did end well for him. 

"I was at Chishiya and Niragi's house," he said softly.

"Yeah, until 3 in the morning?"

"I just lost track of time, I- I swear,"

"Doing what? You want me to believe you spend all this time playing a fucking video game?" Kousei hissed, stalking towards him. Although he tried to stand strong and maintain composure, in the face of his fury he couldn't help but tremble. 

He almost couldn't believe that Kousei would accuse him of such a thing, regardless of whom he spent his time with. He remembered all the jokes Niragi would make about him and Chishiya, so the idea was there, but Kousei wouldn't seriously think that of him. Right? Swallowing down his sickness, he managed to find his words.

"W-we did. I…. i love you, i would never," Kousei roughly grabbed his arm, tight enough to bruise. 

"Oh, but fuck me for being worried when you don't come home, only to find out you're fooling around with other men,"

"Kenji!"

"All i ever hear is about that damn Chishiya, the first one who tried to get between us, and you expect me not to think you're fucking him?" Tears started to form in Arisu’s eyes as he felt his throat tighten

"Please, be reasonable,"

"Excuse me?" his grip tightened, and the nails that dug into his flesh broke skin, with blood trickling from the cuts. Arisu failed to hold back a sob, writhing in a fruitless attempt to escape. It hurt so much, more than the bruised wrist or the occasional slap. 

"Kenji, please, I promise. We played video games, ate dinner, and got Chi to play a new game for a few hours, that's all that happened. I love you, i love you s-so much,"

"Of course I know that, and that's why I need to punish you," his words offer little comfort as he dragged Arisu with him. He wanted to plead for mercy, but he couldn't find the words. He had made a mistake, and he knew he had to face the consequences. He didn't know what he did wrong this time either, aside from spending much too long out and failing to communicate, but was it worth this reaction? He didn't know, and it scared him.

Kousei forcefully shoved him to his knees, and before he could process his surroundings, he felt fingers jammed into the very back of his throat. He gasped and gagged around the intrusion, tears sliding down his face. It didn't take long for it all to become too much, and everything he ate earlier that night came back up, with Kousei shoving his head above the toilet just in time.

"Those people really are an awful influence on you," This time, Kousei's voice was even and methodical, even as he repeated the action. No matter how much he struggled, Arisu simply wasn't strong enough, and he was running on 5 hours of sleep and coffee. "You were doing so well, yet look at you now, stuffing yourself with such foods. That's alright, though, I'm here to help you,"

Arisu vomited again, He coughed and spluttered, and he struggled to get air into his aching lungs. Everything hurt, and he was just confused and scared. By the 3rd time, all he had left was stomach acid and weak whimpers, almost completely limp in his hold. 

"I love you, Ryouhei," Kousei mumbled, finally releasing him. Arisu could do nothing more than cough and wheeze, half-lidded glassy eyes staring up at him. With his throat so thoroughly destroyed, he couldn't vocalize anything in response. That didn't seem to phase Kousei, though, who simply sat beside him and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't like doing this, so let's not make me, alright?"

_____

Kuina still felt bad for yelling at Chishiya. Sure, when Usagi and her agreed to keep an eye out, the man assured them he was over it, but she still felt like she owed him more than that. He was her very best friend, and it wasn’t fair to him that he was basically accused of sabotaging a relationship he recognized as toxic. As the months went on, her guilt grew more and more, and when Usgai told them about Kousei hurting Arisu, it reached a boiling point. 

‘I got my proof, and for what?’ she thought bitterly, shaving her hands in her pockets to hide how they shook. Ann convinced her to just rip off the band-aid and apologize front and center. She agreed to it after working up the courage, and especially when he brought up that Arisu had been spending less and less time with them. 

She didn’t want to think about what Kousei was telling him to cause, it made her sick. If anyone was suffering, though, it was Chishiya, who called it from the start. 

“I’m sorry, Chishiya,” Kuina croaked, feeling sick to her absolute stomach. The guilt she felt was near suffocating. If she repeated the sentiment a million times over, it still wouldn’t be enough. She knew that, and so did Chishiya. His eyes were cold and calculating, piercing through her soul. That was when he looked at her at all. “God, I’m so sorry I didn't take you seriously at first. I know, I know that we eventually agreed to look out for him, but…” She felt like she might vomit again, like she had earlier that day.

"You were right, he was nothing but bad news. I… I didn't want to think that Arisu was in love with an asshole, so I looked past it. I tried to pretend like everything was okay, and in the process I ended up hurting everyone." She couldn’t stand to shoulder this feeling of responsibility that weighed down on her. She couldn’t stand the guilt, knowing how awful she treated her closest friend. 

“If I could take it back, I would. I wish I could do or say anything else but what I did. I– I can’t believe I said those things to you, I can’t- you trusted me enough to come to me, and I ruined everything. I’m so sorry,” Kuina sucked in a shaky breath, knees giving out and that sent her sinking to the floor. Her chest ached painfully with each tear-soaked breath she took. Chishiya remained silent throughout, staring down at her with disdain.

“I don’t actually think you’d do that. I know how much you care about him, about everyone, that you wouldn’t want Arisu to hurt,” this earned her an even colder glare, as he scowled threateningly at the statement. Shit, that certainly was the wrong thing to say. Good going, Kuina. “I just- I was so fucking dumb, and I can’t say anything to make it better. I'm just… I'm-”

“Sorry?” Chishiya finished, a detached indifference in his voice that he hadn’t used since the borderland. She flinched from his tone, as well as the first thing he’s said since she entered the room. “Yeah, I heard the first four times,” 

“Um,” she blinked up at him through her tear filled eyes, at a complete loss for words. Chishiya had no problem talking now, his face a painful mix of uninterested and disgust.

“Are you done? Because I’m starting to get tired of hearing you wallow on my bedroom floor.” it's the same sort of dismissal he would’ve used on Niragi at the beach, and it hurts to have it turned on her. What's worse is that she knew it was well deserved.

“But, i-”

“What? Oh, don’t tell me, did you expect me to forgive you?” he laughed, a cold and empty thing that  shuts her up. 

“No, of course not,” she wasn’t that stupid as to think Chishiya would be so forgiving, as the man had the ability to hold a grudge. Still, a small part of her had hoped for something besides this. This empty dismissal and disgust. 

“Good, because I have not to give, and you might never get it,” Kuina nodded weakly, tears slipping down her cheeks to the hardwood floor. It made sense, and it was entirely what was expected. Yet, it hurt. It hurt because she caused it. “And quit crying, it's pathetic,” 

Chishiya finally averted his eyes as an uncomfortable look briefly crossed his face. Right. He didn’t handle other people's emotions very well. Just another tick on the board of things Kuina fucked up between them. While the blond exited the room, she took a moment to collect herself. She couldn’t imagine what her face must look like, all blotchy and red. Just as she managed to get the tears in check, Chishiya returned, holding her car keys in hand. He didn’t have to say anything for her to know exactly what this meant, and it felt like a knife in her heart. 

“Oh,” 

“Yeah, oh,” Chishiya snarked, words biting and harsh. “If you’re really sorry, you’ll fix your mistake instead of just talking,”

Kuina was all out of words by this point, the full reality and responsibility of her actions falling onto her. Chishiya has always been someone important to her, but it seemed that friendship was at its end. It took everything in her not to burst into tears again, her keys digging into the soft flesh of his palm with how tightly she gripped it. 

Under the heavy gaze of her (former?) friend, Kuina dragged herself to her feet. Her unsteady feet led her out of his home, and something in her shook when she realized that she wouldn’t be coming back for a long time. Even after reaching her car, the pain in her chest remained near debilitating. 

Still, she swallowed her despair just long enough to arrive at her empty home. Ann was at work, which left Kuina completely alone to collapse into their bed, tears in her eyes. Somehow, the cold, suffocating isolation made everything worse.

It was her fault anyway, so why did it hurt so much? Why was she struggling not to cry when it was entirely deserved? In the end, it was Kuina who chose to lash out at Chishiya first, hurting him and ignoring his warnings. It was Kuina’s fault that no one knew to watch Kousei, that Arisu assumed everything was fine and normal. If she had just listened, Arisu wouldn’t have been in his current hell. 

All of it was Kuina’s fault, so why? Why was she crying?

Why did she want his forgiveness so badly?

[veryflirtytransportalate]

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"Fortunate is he whose mind has the power to probe the causes of things and trample underfoot all terrors and inexorable fate." - Virgil... I'm told

I shrugged through the opening fields and ruins of the Glowing Sea! It was... pretty fine! I sometimes forget how utterly invincible I am with the power armor, but I also suited up a couple of people in hazmat suits to come with me and stocked up on RadAway and Rad-X. It was fun, actually - we got attacked by some weird rats that I didn't want to hurt but had to, then some feral ghouls which the entire Commonwealth community seems to deem a free space to go wild with the murder so woopie to that, and then we got to a crater full of those absolute weirdos in that cult. No, not the Brotherhood, and no, not the Enclave, and no, not the Institute, but the Adam ones. I at one point became violently ill after I spaced out standing and talking to one of them and didn't realize that my power armor wasn't doing a very good job dealing with the rads - next thing I know I'm on the floor, hyperventilating. It happens! You know how there's a culture of people stabbing each other with the Stims? I think... I think Dogmeat stabbed me to life.

Overall great trip. Terrible that this whole place is a noxious wasteland that tears through metal and PVC alike - if only some group of people with a massive collection of pre and post war technologies could come in and do some ecological work here. You know, how back in the day human beings would clean up the results of radioactive disasters? How that existed? Just spitballing here. Would be of tremendous material and political value and would profit the perpetrator massively, especially if the work force is rad resistant. Might be a good use for... maybe an endless supply of synthetic human beings or something but again just spitballing here.

(More ramblings and a picture below the cut.)

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No extra pics from this photo set, actually! Usually one or two get relegated to the below the cut spot, but not today! So here's Sizz'el in a nice green dress.

The Glowing Sea was new for me! Never went before, not even once. I don't know if it's obvious from my descriptions but I kind of hate Fallout 4 - I have a very grognard-esque old school centric view of the Fallout series, but I'm also open to the idea that Fallout 4, when you wash off the blood and sweat of the crunchatized developers, executes on the mechanical experience of the Fallout games with aplomb. Someone I listened to said there are no games that are Fallout-likes, and play like the original Fallout. I think FO4, mechanically, is exactly a FO2-like, but I don't have the space to argue that here.

Anyway, Glow-C. It was an interesting outdoor dungeon design. I only did the first leg of it, out to the Crater of Atom, but I thought it was a well considered experience: players explore the first part of the Sea and perhaps realize that the biome is dangerous enough that they're going to have to come up with a plan of attack. If they push hard enough out of spite, they have a halfway-ish, one third-ish checkpoint to stop at with the crater. There, they can learn where Virgil is more specifically, fast travel out to Sanctuary, and reconsider their options. Dump junk, repair armor, etc., and enter the truly grueling part of the dungeon fully prepared.

I did actually die a couple times because of the radiation at the crater: I (surprise) downloaded a mod to increase the radioactivity of the entire Glowing Sea by... 5x? 3x? Can't remember. I think it's this mod by CrimsonKnight77 (opens in new tab) but that only affects storms. I'll come back to this. Or not. It's a game.

Anyway I was standing talking to who's-her-face who tells you Virgil's exactly GPS coordinates, got up to get a snack. I come back to find everything rewound to the beginning of the conversation and a pop-up. Why did I load? What? I hit the pop-up. I talk to the lady. I'm thinking how to respond. Suddenly, dead. Power armor just flumps to the floor. I load. I'm looking around. I see the rads. I get it.

So yeah, that got me not once, but twice. Sneaky. Gonna be a pain if I ever go out to Lost Lookout or Lookout Point or whatever the DLC is called.

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[basket-of-radiants]

[Warning: Questionable coherence ahead, I'll probably give this a look-over in the morning, but then again I might not, who knows.]

Hey there! Thank you for reading a post you may disagree with in good faith, and thank you for your reply.

Strictly speaking, you are correct. Moash is not concerned over the Kholins, he is primarily concerned over Kaladin. I don't think he cares about Dalinar, he doesn't and shouldn't care about betraying Elhokar, all of his emotions are very much Kaladin-centric. But given that Kaladin serves the Kholins, the distinction doesn't ultimately matter because the narrative result is the same.

Everything with Kaladin is a side effect of his decision to turn on Elhokar. If he hadn't tried to kill Elhokar, Kaladin would never tried to stop him and they never would have fought. Conversely, since Kaladin did try to stop him, there would have been no way for him to avoid fighting Kaladin save for abandoning course. And if he had stayed a member of Bridge Four, he would have remained in service to the Kholins. On a personal level he cares more about his fellow members than he does about the Kholins, but there would not have been any way for him to stay in the group and also bow out of their employ. There's no way to give his ideal self a Bridge Four uniform that isn't blue.

The result is that betraying the Kholins is his catalyst for his spiral into villainy, and then once he's there, his enmity to them is what perpetuates his villainy. Since the Kholins make up the majority of the protagonists, it makes total sense that someone who opposes them is going to be an antagonist. But I still feel it kind of sucks how much of his theming is trampled all over for the sake of making him the bad guy.

I wrote all that nonsense (damn, you people read this stuff? you're all angels, I love you) pre-ROW. I was expecting Moash to go full-villain, and I was fully prepared for that, and yet the results still managed to bother the hell out of me on new levels. There's that meme about the one batman movie where I think Bane or someone talks about how fucked up it is that the rich control everything and are horrible and corrupt and are ruining society, but then he kills a bunch of people so you know he's the bad guy. (I'm sorry guys, I haven't seen a lot of movies, I assume that's what happened in it. Anyway, I'm clearly not feeling particularly eloquent tonight.) In my opinion, Moash's treatment in ROW mirrors that kind of characterization. It wasn't even that his more sympathetic motives and outlooks were discarded as I'd expected them to be; rather he retained them but everyone else -audience included- is now justified in rejecting his perspectives because they're now being espoused by someone who's objectively evil. Which is worse, I think.

All this is to say, for me I kind of think that Moash's feelings are beside the point. Yes, Kaladin is his primary focus. If I were a big kalmoash shipper (so valid if you are, and I hope I'm not damaging my rep too much by admitting I'm not) then I might be able to swoon over how much he's still captivated by thoughts of Kaladin. If I hated Moash, then I could despise him all the more for his hypocrisies or for his cruelties toward those he's supposed to care about to care about. But his feelings about Kaladin are not why he's a bad guy; he's a bad guy because he switched sides. He could have immediately forgotten about Kaladin, it wouldn't have changed that. Heck, he could have gone all book being kind and warm to Kaladin and all the rest of Bridge Four. The fact that he attacked Navani would have still relegated him to the role of "villain who needs to be put in his place."

Again, I don't think you're wrong in your analysis, but when looking at Moash's narrative role, I also don't think I'm wrong for conflating betraying Kaladin with betraying the Kholins. I hope that makes sense.

Let’s talk about Moash

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

If you’ve followed me for a reasonable amount of time, you’ll know that I adore plenty of characters who I consider to be terrible people. I love Szeth and Nale, but I have no problem with criticizing them and pointing out their flaws and mercilessly bullying them into the ground for fun. You’ll also know that I have never taken that attitude with Moash. I’ve never been #moashdidnothingwrong, and conversely I’m happy to make good lighthearted fun of him or even criticize his actions, but when it comes down to it I’ve always defended him as a character. It’s partially because I feel he gets so much undeserved vitriol from the fandom. (Although I should state that I don’t mind if you dislike him. So long as your take is more nuanced than blanket #fuckmoash, I’ll trust you have your reasons.) But it’s also that I have deeper criticisms of how Moash is treated by the narrative as well fans. I’ve alluded to that before, but never really explained myself. So here it is. My explanation as to why I stand by him.

I feel I should state that I don’t judge characters exclusively by their actions. Their actions are important, but they aren’t the only thing that’s important. After all, none of them are real people making their own choices, the characters and their decisions were all ultimately decided by an outside force in order to craft a narrative. So I feel it’s important as well to judge characters by the themes they serve and to look at their narrative purpose. 

When I say that characters don’t make their own choices, here’s what I mean. If Sanderson wished, he could write next chapter so that Kaladin suddenly becomes a serial killer and burns down a bunch of villages for fun. I have enough faith in his writing and enough tropic knowledge that I seriously doubt that’s going to happen, but if that’s the direction Sanderson wanted to take the story, he would be capable of doing so. If the story did take this sudden turn, a character’s actions are still important and so it would probably be natural to like Kaladin less. At the same time, we wouldn’t have been wrong for liking the character as he was written until that point, and we would be fair to criticize the direction he’s taken in.

Whenever I talk about Moash’s circumstances and motivations, I tend to get the response “yes I understand that, but it doesn’t excuse doing bad things, and I judge him based on his actions.” First, I want to say that that is a totally valid way to look at people and characters, and it’s one I’m sympathetic to. Totally cool if you feel that way. I do have two counter arguments. The first, and my most common one, is: were Moash’s actions really that bad, all things considered, especially when compared to analogous actions of main characters? Then we can discuss the morality of specific things he did, which is always controversial but nonetheless fun for everyone. Of course then, I get people saying “I don’t hate him for his actions, my problem is with his outlook and philosophy” and then the cycle can begin again. Ah, the struggle of justifying both a characters’ means and ends. Then there’s another, much more controversial argument that I haven’t really made before but that I’m going to now, which is that in the case of Moash and Vyre, I don’t actually think it is entirely fair to judge him for his actions. 

Please bear with me. I promise I’m not saying “Moash shouldn’t be written to do bad things.” I don’t believe that, I don’t want that, and that’s not the point I am trying to make. I’m saying that I think Sanderson wants to convey a certain set of themes with Moash and will therefore have him develop into a character who’s a better vehicle for those themes, i.e. having him make choices that will result in him being that person. That’s not a problem, that’s what you’re supposed to do. But when I’m judging characters by their themes, I’m more willing to let certain actions slide.

When I say that I judge a character by their themes, here’s what I mean. I’m going to use Shallan as an example, because I’ve seen a lot of criticism of her for her casually racist and classist tendencies. I think that such criticisms are great, and I think they’re completely fair, and I also don’t judge Shallan for them as much as I would, were she a real person. That’s because her storyline isn’t about those things, it’s about a person trying to discover herself while coming to terms with her trauma, and her background was chosen as the best origin to tell such a story from. That’s not to say it’s a good thing for said tendencies to go unaddressed, but they’re not the point of her character. This is actually an issue that I find most of the main cast run into at various points, because most of them are nobility and war profiteers. Whenever I try to really dissect any of them, I find them hopelessly problematic. But these are books about themes of honor and personal growth and emotion, so I think I have to embrace the characters from those angles if I’m going to enjoy these books at all. My favorite character is Dalinar, and from a purely objective level I don’t think I can say he’s a great person. Even throwing out all of his past actions as the Blackthorn, when we first see him in Way of Kings he’s trying to honorably unite everyone…so they can more effectively wipe out the Parshendi. I think you can see well enough where I’m going with that that I don’t need to fully analyse all the reasons Why Dalinar Is A Bad Person on this post about Moash. He’s my favorite character because in spite of all that, I find his themes of redemption and honor to be great, and I think the character that comes out of all that, contradictions and all, is truly wonderful.

When I talk about narrative purposes, here’s what I mean. Characters in stories are written to be heroes or villains or parables or expositors, etc. There are lots of different roles a character can play. If the author wants a character to be a hero, they will make the character do good things and if they want the character to be a villain, they will make the character do bad things. None of this is news to anyone, but if I’m trying to remove any ambiguity as to what the hell I’m talking about.

When all of this is applied to Moash it’s a bit tricky because Sanderson and I seem to be in disagreement as to what his themes are. 

Clearly I can’t read Sanderson’s mind and I don’t care to trawl his interviews or internet presence, so if I say something that seems blatantly wrong here, go ahead and let me know. But I’ll try to lay out what I think he intends for Moash’s themes to be, purely from the text. 

The first is betrayal. He was elevated from his terrible life by Kaladin and later Dalinar  by extension. He could have had a happy life there with Kaladin as a member of Bridge Four, but no, he bit the hand that fed him: he sided with the Diagram and helped them assassinate the king. And that was A Bad Thing that put him in a bad place and it’s all his fault. His first chapter in Oathbringer is him lamenting how bad that was, even going so far as to say he was just like other lighteyes. And then he truly defected to the singers, and he killed his king, and that was Another Bad Thing. Last time he shouldn’t have done it, but at least no harm, no foul right? But this time, he has irrevocably turned traitor to his people. Moash is an example of what not to do, unlike the other characters who stand by their oaths. It makes sense right? In a book about honor, woe betide the traitor; it shall ultimately be his downfall and he will have been his own undoing. 

(Yes, I’m over-simplifying this, and I do apologize, but do you want this post to be even longer?)

That brings us to Sanderson’s second theme, personal responsibility. We have just acknowledged that Moash does Bad Things, yes? Ah but wait, one might say, so does Dalinar, ergo, is there not a chance for this Bad Person to be redeemed? Our answer is that perhaps he could be, but in order to find a path of redemption, one must first face their actions, and Moash is in denial, claiming that his situation isn’t his fault, externalizing responsibility, and lamenting his lot in life even though it’s a direct result of his own actions. If he’d never betrayed Kaladin and the Kholins, he’d still be a happy, loved member of Bridge Four. He could have focused on healing rather than vengeance. Instead he’s miserable, and instead of picking himself up and trying to change, he blames other people or other forces. In a book about personal growth and journeys here we have someone who’s stagnant or perhaps even regressive. It’s not just that he’s a Bad Person. He’s not even trying to be better!

I mentioned earlier three main themes of these books, which I have named as honor, personal growth, and emotion. (Gee I wonder why I’m so fixated on those themes in particular. I even included Odium in the party!) We’ve just related Moash to the inverse of two, let’s see if we can tie him to the third as well. Oh look, yes we can. We’ve just gone over two big reasons why Moash is Bad. Of course he hates himself. He should. But it’s all too much for him, he can’t face himself or his actions, so gives up his pain to Odium and he numbs himself into someone ruthless and emotionless (sort of).

And thus we have Vyre, the cold and deadly conclusion to his character. (As a semi-quick aside. I prefer referring to him post-Oathbringer as Vyre, as that was the name on his chapter heading at the end of the book. It strikes me as a significant enough name change alongside the line “Moash is dead,“ that Sanderson must be intentionally separating this current character from the Moash of the past. I’m not quite sure why yet.) This is what I think Sanderson was trying to do with Moash. He took a character who we already knew and understood, and he made him the perfect antithesis to all of these core themes. That’s why he has to be a villain. It’s not that he’s committed more and bigger atrocities than anyone else, it’s that in a story that focuses so heavily on personal development, Moash seems to actively push back against it. When presented with opportunities to be and do better, he turns and walks away. He has no feeling, no honor.

There we have it, a perfect thematic antagonist for our story. And look, Kaladin still cares about him so we can get some extra angst out of that before he’s killed. And just in case anyone is still sympathetic to him, we can have him kick the dog a few times to really hammer in that he’s an evil villain.

Alright, I could be completely misrepresenting yours or Sanderson’s views on him, but I like to think of all that as a fairly nuanced take on Moash’s character. (Again, I grant it could be more nuanced, but seriously, do you really want this post any longer than it is?) Not to mention that while it’s a bit snarky, it’s nonetheless kind of a scathing indictment of him. And also I was the one who wrote all that. So why the hell am I defending him?

Moash has not always been a villain in the story. Whether or not he was a good person, I don’t know, but I’d consider his transition from a chaotic force of complication to a fully-fledged villain to have happened at the end of Oathbringer. For the purposes of this discussion so that I don’t have to put timeline qualifiers on him every time I say his name, I’m going to refer to him pre-transition and post-transition differently. Let’s keep calling the original Moash and let’s call the latter one Vyre. My, this is convenient.

That’s not to say that Moash and Vyre are distinct from each other, or that one can’t be held accountable for the choices of the other. There is a fluid arc linking the two of them, and in it the explicit statement that if you are a Moash and that if you make all the choices that Moash makes, you will ultimately become a Vyre. 

I mentioned before that Sanderson and I seem to differ in opinion over what Moash’s themes are. I’ve laid out as best as I can what I interpret his opinion to be. Let’s talk about mine now.

What do we know about Moash? For starters, he’s a member of a marginalized racial caste. He was raised by his grandparents in a city, but as a kid he was always considered to be a bit too big and a bit too free-thinking for a darkeyes, so he had to leave and work on travelling caravans in order to stay out of trouble. His grandparents were incarcerated and died in prison, courtesy of Roshone and Elhokar, and while we later learn that Dalinar did enforce consequences for the two of them (although I’d argue that the punishments didn’t exactly match the crime), Moash himself never saw any form of justice or reparation. He went out to the shattered plains to enlist and he was subsequently enslaved and sent out to die as a part of a bridge crew.

We’ve already addressed all the later stuff, so I’m going to stop here for now. The biggest themes that I associate with Moash are all about the racism and marginalization he experienced. He’s someone who has been betrayed time and time again throughout his life by his society and by various authority figures. And I don’t think Moash is unique for that. I mean just look at Kaladin and his family. All darkeyes are put through hell the moment they or their families become inconvenient for someone with power, and they aren’t given any legitimate avenues of recourse or justice. Moash and Kaladin’s situations are just two examples in an entire country of racial oppression. They’re the only two cases that we really get to know, as the rest of the main cast is primarily made up of nobility and aristocracy, so if Sanderson wants to comment on this system of institutional racism he’s created, he’s going to have to do so through the two of them.

Don’t get me wrong, there are other darkeyed characters, but none who are both as important as them and whose backstories and themes are so closely tied to their marginalization. Plus there’s one thing that Moash does that no other darkeyes in the series does. He actually rejects this system.

After Dalinar frees the bridge crews, Kaladin, Moash, and the others are given new, well-respected jobs. This is typically heralded as Moash’s second chance, which he inevitably threw away because he’s the worst and he ruins everything. Let’s pretend he didn’t for a bit. Kaladin and his team have succeeded at getting better lives because the Kholins gave them better lives. Aren’t they nice! Plus now that all their lighteyed guards are dead, they have to include darkeyes in their inner circle. That leaves Kaladin perfectly placed to form relationships and to teach them that racism is bad. There we go, everything’s better now, problem solved; until Kaladin speaks out of turn at a duel? They all live happily ever after so long as they continue to stay in their–albeit elevated–places? A few darkeyes have made it in life, so this little “institutionalized racism” subplot is resolved, not to mention that the family protecting them is only in power because of said system? Or is it that now that the Kholins are the kings of everything, should we expect them to use that power to fix everything? Oh look, our country’s leadership happened to be going through a self-discovery quest when we got here and Dalinar is really into honor right now for some reason, what great timing to ask him to end racism.

Listen, I love the Kholins, Dalinar is my favorite stormlight character and I adore Adolin to death. But in my opinion “the oppressors learn the error of their ways because they made one darkeyed friend, and all was well” kind of sucks as a resolution to the story’s racial themes, especially as Kaladin is considered lighteyed by the end of Words of Radiance and especially if the underlying  institutions that their entire society is built upon are never questioned or addressed. If there is to be resolution, I would like to see how it looks from the perspective of the characters who have been most harmed by these systems. That would be Kaladin and Moash.

Kaladin, as great as he is, is given freedom and autonomy and with it he chooses to serve an aristocrat. So does every other member of Bridge Four. Once again, I don’t think that’s a bad decision within this narrative, I think Dalinar’s fantastic and I think Kaladin made the right choice to best protect his people, but I don’t think any of them should have to serve the Kholins in order to be allowed to live their lives.

There is a single darkeyed character in this story who’s broken rank, the single character who said “fuck this, I don’t want to serve lighteyes.” That’s Moash. He left. And he was instantly labeled a traitor and made a villain for it.

Was it more complicated than that? Yes. Was there more going on? Absolutely. Are there more nuanced reasons that Moash became Vyre that are more about the bad choices he makes and less that he just quit his job? Yes, and I’ve already outlined them. Here’s why none of that holds any water for me.

As stated, his country and aristocracy have never cared for him until Dalinar deigned to grant him his humanity. I personally wouldn’t call his rejection of all that much of a betrayal. That was never really his side to begin with. If he was working for them, then it���s because he was working for Kaladin (who incidentally had supported his initial Words of Radiance betrayal right up until the last second.) Sure! He defected! He turned traitor! Why is that a bad thing? Because Dalinar and Kaladin are bastions of objective goodness? Because the other side is evil and Odium is evil and the singers are evil? (We’ll get to them.) I really can’t buy either of those.

To this, I have heard the counter-argument, “he’s bad because of the rest of his outlook/actions, not specifically because he left the Kholins” I can respect that point of view from a fellow reader, but that is simply now how the narrative is written. That’s not to say that both can’t be true, but specifically having betrayed the Kholins is portrayed as a key element in his downfall. I don’t want to go digging for quotes right now, but Sanderson bases all of Moash’s self-loathing, from the beginning of Oathbringer and onward, from his betrayals. And all of his old friends apparently hate him for that too. And most fundamentally to me, if we look at the the Rhythm of War chapter, Moash’s “ideal self” was wearing Kholin blue. What else could that possibly be saying? For all my love of Dalinar, I’m pretty uncomfortable with him as a moral center from which the goodness of a character is determined by how closely aligned they are with him. I’m particularly uncomfortable with that rationale applied to a marginalized person who’s directly suffered under his family’s rule. Like. He’s done bad things, sure, but I don’t think that turning traitor was inherently one of them.

But what about all that other bad stuff Moash did? What about willingly becoming a killer for Odium, I have been told that that’s still a bad thing and I can’t just write away with his past. And sure, I can’t. But I can be critical that when Sanderson chose a character to become his Vyre, he chose Moash, and then he explicitly made one of his primary catalysts for the change being fed up with racism. Honestly it might have been enough for me if Sanderson had included any other independent darkeyes characters who won’t stay in their place (I just went over why Kaladin doesn’t count), but he didn’t and so I’m critical of what he makes this one into.

It’s even more unfortunate for me because he really didn’t have to go this way. Throughout most of his time in Oathbringer, his character was driven by a lot of other stuff as well, primarily by genuine compassion for the suffering of a group of singers, who he risked his life to help and protect. Moash’s story could have been about a human who empathized with the enemy and learned that there was legitimacy to their struggles, and decided to help them build themselves up. Heck, it’s not that he could have been that character, he was that character. That’s what he was doing until he became an assassin. Again, why have only one character who bothers to help the singers in such a way and then immediately turn him evil? (I feel like Lirin in the latest book addresses some of my concerns in that respect, and I like Lirin a lot. He’s not as proactive a character as Moash is however, and he very much “stays in his place.” Also I’m trying not to talk too much about the singers because otherwise this will double in length.)

What about all that stuff with giving up his agency and emotions and all that? Not taking responsibility for his actions? I’d be fine with that as a fatal flaw if it began later on when he actually did bad stuff, but instead it’s what led him to these bad things in the first place. He can’t find redemption and grow as a person until he’s faced his actions and overcome them. Sure. In this case, the action he’s supposed to face is his betrayal. That’s the source of his self loathing. Okay, I’m no longer on board because of everything I just said. Furthermore, I don’t hate him for what his mind has become, I think he needs help. And I certainly don’t blame him. Here’s my abridged take. 1) in Oathbringer he did not originally choose to be attacked by singers, 2) after he was, he was made a slave and couldn’t really make his own choices unless he wanted to go out in a suicidal blaze of ultimately meaningless glory, 3) once again he was a slave and I think he’s allowed to have whatever coping mechanisms he’d like in order to get through the day, 4) all the while he was like this, he was still helping people, what more do you want from him, 5) once he gained his freedom he immediately went back to making big choices for himself, until 6) apparently betraying Kaladin and Elhokar again reinvigorated his self-loathing to such a point where he had to give up everything, irrevocably becoming Vyre.

At which point, we’ve decided that Vyre is a villain so Vyre will kill people and do bad things and you’re not supposed to like him.

What did Moash do? He left his people and helped a different downtrodden group. Why does that lead him to becoming a Vyre? Ultimately, because the author says so, and again, I’m not saying that I’m upset this character does bad things. I’m upset because it reads to me as if being a person who does bad things is just the natural conclusion of his actions. From the end of Words of Radiance, any character could have been developed into Vyre. My problem isn’t that a character I like developed into a worse person, it’s that he was already so deeply entrenched in all these other really interesting themes, and I think this character direction negates anything he could have added to them.

To reiterate, the crux of my problem is this. To me, Moash is the most important character in the books insofar as his relationship to the racism and caste system that exists within them. To Sanderson, Moash is the character who eventually becomes Vyre. I don’t think that fully does him, nor the very complex, very real issues he represents, their full justice.

I don’t know where Vyre/Moash’s story is going at the moment, and even though I don’t expect much to change for him, I’m very open to being surprised. With that being said, I think he deserves a second look regardless.

That’s all for now! Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Be sure to like, share, subscribe, and comment below. Thanks! 

[awkwardspontaneity]

Hello. This is my first request for the Legend of Zelda, so I do not know how to write it correctly. I don't speak English and I'm writing this in a translator, so there may be mistakes here, sorry. In general, I want to see how the reader will react to the fact that Revali, Link and Sidon cheated on her. (something made me feel sad) Thank you in advance ╹▽╹

I'm so sorry something happened to upset you. If it's along the lines of this request give me a name😤👊 anyways thank you so much for requesting!! This ended up being so much longer than I intended but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope this is what you're looking for!

✨ requests are open✨

Warning: angst, cheating

Revali🐦

I think with his prickly nature not a lot of people would stick around long enough to get to know how much he cares

But some bitch saw how much he was training to perfect his powers to help Hyrule and couldn't resist

It started off as bringing him lunches and heat pads after a long day of training and then it escalated

They would wrap his wings up and suddenly he was letting them fix his braids. He never saw it as much more than a fan helping him out but you saw differently

It ended up in a big fight when you finally brought up how Revali was allowing this fan to hang off of him like they were his partner not you. You brought up excellent points like how he took such a long time to even trust you with braiding his hair and that he could at least let them know he's in a relationship.

Revali got upset (probably cuz ur right and he can't admit it) and snapped that at least they appreciated him

Yeah bad move. You walked out and bird brain left to train away the pain

You came across his first and decided to head to the shooting range with some peace snacks but what do you find?

You walk up the slope towards the archery range, a container of Revali's favourite snacks in hand. As you approach you see something sitting inside the hut and assume it's him. Sterling your breath you walk into the hut and what you find takes your breath away- not in the good way either. Revali sat there with his wings wrapped around them, too caught up on their liplock to notice you standing there.

CRASH

The container hits the ground with a shatter, ruining their little scene.

"Y/n-"

"Don't even try it." You wish your voice didn't sound as broken. No matter how much your heart squeezed in pain from the betrayal, you wanted to come off so much different- angrier. Because you were angry. "Just because we have an argument does not give you the right to run off with your new friend."

Revali flinches at the word and you feel a sick glimmer of satisfaction. He opens his mouth to protest, ignoring your glare. "I-I'm sorry." Your glare darkens and he immediately flounders for the right words. "You accused me of something I didn't do-"

Yeah, not the right words. You wish you could do something, anything to hurt him like he hurt you. But you had to be the bigger person no matter how much you wanted to snap that precious bow of his in half.

"I accused you, not have you permission."

"We can work through this, together" his wing reached out to you, but you recoiled to fast.

"We're not together." You walked towards the entrance "I hope it was worth it."

Link 🗡️

Link is a closed off person. Sure he has people worship him for his title as the hero of Hyrule, but he would never let that get to his head. You could tell this boy he's amazing and it still wouldn't get through his insecurities

Maybe it's cruel but, that almost reassured you he would never break your heart like that. You felt secure in your relationship

That's why it was so shocking when you found out he had fallen for Zelda.

It wasn't meant to ever be more than knight and princess. And you never should have found out.

You were walking towards the stables of your party was staying at. It was supposed to be a simple trip to complete some research out in the plains. Of course your trip was ambushed by an energetic princess who begged to come along for research purposes. You couldn't complain because the addition of the princess also came with your boyfriend Link.

Now you were looking for him outside the small ranch. You fully expected him to be caring for Epona like he always did after a long trip. His love for his horse was something you had always loved about him. The way he would stay later than everyone else to make sure she was okay. It had made stables kind of your spot. Hanging out at the end of a long day to talk and spend time together while caring for your steeds.

Maybe that was why your heart felt so utterly shattered when you did find him, standing next to the stable, with the princess in his arms. Maybe you could have fooled yourself into believing he was being friendly if he hadn't pressed a long loving kiss to her forehead followed by both her cheeks, chuckling softly as she giggled.

You knew they had always been close. I mean they spent all their time together. You'd just never thought that Link would do something like this to you.

You walked away from the stables fighting backs the tears in your eyes. It was only when you found you had walked into an older area, a spare shack outside, that you finally let the tears fall. Your heart twisted in pain as sobs tore from your throat.

Why hasn't you seen this? Why weren't you enough?

------

Your research trip was almost over. You had gone back late into the night to find Link on the edge of his bed head in his hands. He had shot up to demand where you had been when you finally walked in and although he looked like he wanted to argue, he accepted that you had been organizing your research supplies and notes in quiet.

That had been 3 days ago. You had spent the research trip sticking close to your colleagues, poring over each plant and testing their uses. The princess was too distracted with her own interests to really notice how you shied away from her presence. Link had though. And he was about done with you brushing him off in favour of your work. You both were busy so not having time was nothing new. But this was different. You couldn't meet his eyes and he had caught you staring at him and Zelda as if you were about to cry before. He was at a loss and now he needed to figure things out for himself.

However he wasn't quite ready for the answer.

"I saw you and Zelda together."

His throat closed up. He wanted to say so many things. How sorry he was. How he wished he could have told you himself. How he wished he could hold you and forget how complicated things were.

"it's okay." Now that, he wasn't expecting. "I thought I could be mad at you. Both of you. But I guess... It just makes sense." You sniffled softly. You really didn't want to do this. You hated that it had to be you who gave up. But we're you really going to fight? No. As much as it tore your heart into pieces, you would stand aside for them. "I wish that things hadn't changed but, clearly you don't feel the same anymore and I don't want to hold you back. I love you. So much. But I don't deserve this, and I won't put either of us through the trouble. I hope you two are happy together Link."

As you walked towards your friends to head home Link felt his heart clench. You deserved so much better.

Sidon🦈

You were a princess from another kingdom, betrothed to Prince Sidon of the Zora. We all know how these things go, neither of you were all that fond of the idea but you would go through with it. For your kingdoms

You tried to be as understanding as possible of the situations, knowing that the prince was just as trapped as you were. So you played along with your parents wishes.

You two went on dates and spent time together, getting closer and closer until finally you kissed him.

Things were great. You were planning your wedding and enjoying the time you spent with your fiance as you prepared for your future

It wasn't until a few days before the wedding when you were trying on your dress that things fell apart.

Your dressmaker had been in a bad mood, grumbling as they worked and even sticking you with needles a few times. You would have brushed it off as a bad day if not for the facts that they seemed so unapologetic.

You finally brought it up, softly asking if there was something wrong and if you could help. They snapped, going off about how you were ruining the princes life and that he didn't love you and was only marrying you for his kingdom and that he deserved to be happy.

They realized their mistake and left quickly, leaving you alone in your wedding dress with shocked tears slipping down your face.

You later made you way to Sidons office, hoping to clear some things up and maybe seek comfort from the one you loved.

What you didn't expect was to find him already comforting someone. Your dressmaker.

You watched as he whispered sweet nothings and reassurances to them. It was when he said no matter what they were the one that he loved when you broke away.

You stood in your room, packed bags beside you. You knew there were better ways to deal with this. You knew that your kingdom was counting on you and thus marriage. You just couldn't go through with it. Not anymore.

"Y/n?"

You sound around to find the Zora princess standing in your doorway. Mipha had become a close friend in your time in the Zora domain, even feeling like family as you worked closely planning the wedding. She had once told you that you were everything she could hope for in a sister and wife for her brother. You guessed it didn't matter in the end.

Finally you choked out pained words "I can't... I just... I can't do this anymore."

"If you are feeling nervous, I can assure you my brother would never hurt you."

This made you laugh. It was cold, similar to the ice creeping into your veins. "He would. And he did." You cut off Mipha's confusion, wringing a hand through your hair, "Sidon is in love with someone else. I made every effort to work through this engagement despite our... rocky beginning. But he didn't choose me back. He never wanted me, and I won't ruin his chance to be happy."

The room was silent after your outburst. You only noticed the tears when your friend wiped them from your eyes. She offered you a small smile, sharing the pain you felt. She was losing you and still understood it was best for you. You needed to move on and save yourself from a life of pain. A life of being chosen second.

"I hope one day we can meet again, sister."

You let out a choked mix of a son and laugh. Hugging the princess before you grabbed your bags and walked out the door, out of the kingdom that stole your heart and crushed it in its hands.

"I love you, always."

[iwadori]

Hiiii!!!! can you do like when you guys are supposed to meet up and they waited for about an hour or so and kept texting you you but you haven't replied so they thought you ditched them and got mad at you and stuff then they decided to go home and while on their way home not too far from their school they found you unconscious body with a large wound on you back and your head bleeding?.

can you pleaseease do tsukishima, yamaguchi, ushijima, bokuto (I'm sorry if that's a lot)

Haikyu Boys when you get hurt Pt 2 (Ushijima,Bokuto

Part One Part Two Part Three

Word count: 2.6K

Genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Ushijima

You were having the worst week this week,  from battling a cold and your boss making you do all sorts of extra jobs (that were definitely not under your job description.) As easter was swiftly approaching you and Ushijima had your annual plans of going to the local kids community center and helping them with an easter egg hunt. But you don’t think you can manage it this year.

Ushijima gets home from practice with 4 bags just filled with easter eggs ranging from all different sizes, “woah there Toshi, you’ve got enough there too feed all of england” you laugh  

“I don’t think these eggs will be able to sustain England Y/N” he says seriously making you laugh even harder. As you were laughing, you felt another migraine come along making your cringe in pain. “Toshi, I don’t think I can do the easter egg hunt this year?”  

He sits down next to you alarmed that something is wrong, “why what happened Y/N” he asks

“I’ve been feeling terrible all week, and I even have a migraine right now” you say to him thinking he would understand.

“That’s it?” he questions thinking what you said was a joke “I think you can handle a migraine, remember we’re doing this for the kids”

His words were making you feel slightly guilty since maybe you were being over dramatic. “Y/N if it’s really ‘that bad’, i’ll make you some tea so you can feel better,” he says going into the kitchen to start on your tea. You murmur a quiet “thank you” and you end up falling asleep, hoping that by the time you wake up your head stops pounding.

As you wake up, you realise you slept all the way through the night and over to the next day as when you look at your clock it says 12:32 pm. You look at your nightstand and saw that Ushijima wrote you a note saying:  

Y/N I've left out early to set out the easter egg hunt, I’ve made you breakfast so eat up and get prepared for the event which starts at 4pm. Please don’t forget.

Sincerely – Ushijima Wakatoshi.

You chuckle at the fondness of the note, before realising your pain. Your brain felt like it was having a live concert inside that definitely was not going to end soon but you still got up prepared for the day. You didn’t want to let Ushijima or the kids down.  

When you go to the kitchen , you see the cute breakfast that Ushijima made you consisting of all of your favourite foods and with another simple note of him saying ‘ I love you. ‘ Ushijima has always been a lovely boyfriend, treating you like the queen you are always making sure that you were okay. Of course, his bluntness and his lack of social cues was something to get used to but when you did get accustomed to it, it only made you fall in love with him more.

You got ready, feeling even more sick as the piping hot shower that you usual have, did not help as when you were showering you felt heavily faint. However, you persevered since you did not want to let Ushijima down.

You finally were prepared to leave the house, with the community center being on 15 minutes walk away you were leaving out at 3:50pm since you were planning to take your car anyways. When you leave your home, you realise that you forgot your car keys so you dash up the stairs (a bit too quickly) to go and find them. Scrambling through your draws, your head is pounding harder and harder and the more it pounds the quicker your moving making you even more faint. You eventually find your keys and you’re ready to zoom to the community center but your body gave out and you pass out tumbling down the stairs landing at your front door.

Ushijima was waiting outside of the community center waiting for you to arrive it was 4:05pm and he was wondering where you were (knowing that your place was only a 10 minute drive away) he sent you a few texts asking where you were but when you don’t respond Ushijima becomes slightly annoyed, plastering a fake smile on his face and entering the community center, starting the easter egg hunt.

The easter egg hunt came to a close at 8pm and Ushijima assumed that you would’ve showed up some time in the middle of the event, but you obviously didn’t show. After making sure that all the kids left safely Ushijima decided to call and text you more and when you continuously don’t respond and your calls go to voicemail he says ‘Y/N, im really disappointed with you right now. How could you do this to me? You said you would show up, the kids were really upset, how could you be so selfish?’

He walks to your house knocking on the door, but when you don’t immediately answer he knew something must be up now, since you haven’t responded to any of his texts and calls and didn’t show up he figured there was something deeper then you just ditching the event.

He used his key to open the door, surprised when the door hit something. He tried again hitting the ‘object’ that was laying at the door again. He carefully pushes the door to make enough room for him to fit through the gap. When he entered, he was startled at the sight of you, there you lay completely knocked out with a blood stain next to your head. He knelt down next to you and touched your cheek you were extremely cold, he had to get you to a hospital stat. He called an ambulance, panicked. Worrying about how long you’ve been out for since it would have to be atleast more than 4 hours he assumed.

You woke up in a foreign room, with your head slightly stinging. You place your hand on the back of your head and wince, then you remember you need to be at the easter egg hunt so you bolt up ready to move.  

“I don’t think that’s wise for you to do that Y/N” Ushijima says to you  

“Toshi, what happened?” you ask still in pain

“It seems you fell down the stairs and hit your head” after he said that all your memories come flooding back, and you remember rushing to the community centre, looking for your keys, and then falling down the stairs and everything going black.

“I’m sorry Ushi for missing the easter egg hunt, I really tried to get there,” you say with an apologetic look on your face  

“It’s fine Y/N of course you wouldn’t of been able to get there after falling down the stairs” he says “Also, this is proof of why you shouldn’t run down the stairs”

You eventually get discharged with the doctor telling you all you need to do is rest and stay off your feet. Ushijima took the doctor's orders very seriously, becoming your loyal servant and waiting on you hand and foot, tending to your every need. He did also make you were eating healthy and taking all your medicine so you could have the best recovery possible.  

Also, after realising that this could’ve all been avoided if Ushijima didn’t guilt trip you in the first place for having a migraine, he made sure to never ignore or dismiss when you say you are ill or have anything wrong with you even if it’s a migraine, a lost limb or a simple paper cut.

Bokuto  

The Olympics were coming up and Bokuto couldn’t be any more excited than he already was. Everything he’s talked about for the past month he manages to find a way to relate to the Olympics, and as annoying as it got sometimes you were just as excited for it as much as Bokuto was.  

Bokuto was heavily busy with extra practices so you were bored and lonely, since your boyfriend was at practice all the time so you chose to take up a new hobby. You decided to paint, although you weren’t an award-winning painter you still found joy in it. Being Bokuto’s girlfriend you had some slight unwanted attention on you: the usual fans of Bokuto that just followed you to have an extra aspect of him in their life's, or his fangirls that adored him.  

You didn’t mind the fangirls for the most part since majority of them were pretty tamed and did fawn over your relationship. However, there was the minority of fans that did make it known to you that they DID NOT like you at all. When you started posting your paintings, it seems their hate for you amplified since they always found the need to leave an astray of mean comments on your post. But that didn’t mainly bother you since you thought that they only had that energy behind the screen.

The days went by getting closer to the Olympics, with Bokuto always asking you every day “Y/N you are coming to my games, right?” to which you always replied “Of course Kou, I’m coming” which always made him smile.

When the Olympics came, you’ve went to all the games cheering Bokuto and the team on as they were winning round after round. Whilst this was going on, the group of girls that were sending you horrible messages and making mean posts about you weren’t stopping. At first, you didn’t care for them but it seems their posts only gotten worse making comments about your artwork, your face, your body type ect.  

You didn’t want to tell Bokuto as you felt that it would ruin his Olympic momentum and you thought you could handle it all on your own.  

It was nearing to the final game of the Olympics, and Bokuto was ecstatic he made sure that you promised you’d be there claiming that you was his ‘good luck’ charm.’ You were excited to go too, the feeling of watching Bokuto play was exhilarating seeing him fully in his element was great for you to see.

On the last game day, Boktuo was already at the stadium since him and the team had to be there earlier to practice and you planned to meet him there just before the game started at 4:30. You went to a florist before the match getting Bokuto the biggest boquet that you could buy.  

On your way to the stadium you here somebody whistle from behind you, you turn around and see a group of girls waiting behind you smirking. “Hi?” you say more like a question then a statement “do you want something from me?”

Some of them laugh, but the one standing at the front who you mentally lable the ‘main one’ steps closer to you and says “We want you to stay away from Bokuto” you realise that these were the girls sending you hate online for these past weeks.

Before you can even blink, the girls jump you, hitting, kicking and clawing at you. You are in pain, screaming and crying for them to stop and leave you alone. You lay there, letting them beat you up thinking that you’ll probably end up dead out of this. All you can think about is Bokuto, you didn’t get to wish him good luck, or give him your flowers (that you spent a fortune on) or even tell him that you loved him one last time.

You think the girls eventually stopped but you couldn’t tell because your body was throbbing and you hurt all over. You tried to get up still wanting to go to the match but you collapse going out cold.

Bokuto was scanning the crowd over and over for you, hoping to spot you there. But he couldn’t, he was wondering where you were getting sadder and sadder by the second since he really believed you were his good luck charm and he probably wouldn’t be able to win without at least seeing your face once.

They didn’t win. Bokuto knew he wasn’t playing at his best, since all his mind was on was thinking about where you were. You’ve never missed one of his games, so he was incredibly worried. After he accepted his second-place medal, he rushed out the stadium to go to your house but he was stopped by some fangirls ‘I guess signing autographs is the least I can do’ he thinks, the fans were being a bit odd today but he didn’t have time to focus on that as his mind was racing thinking about you and your whereabouts.  

One of his fans did give him an alarmingly big boquet of roses which he appreciated ‘these must of cost a fortune’ he thinks. Although it was a probably a long shot, he decided to ask the fan if he saw someone who looked like *whatever you look like* to maybe see if someone else saw you. Which the fan replied “yeah I saw them with some guy at this restaurant whilst we were going to see you!” they exclaimed.

‘A guy’ he thought ‘that most likely wasn’t you.’ Seeing Bokuto’s confusion, the fan followed up with “I'm pretty sure it was her I mean we all know who Bokuto Koutaro’s girlfriend was.” Bokuto didn’t reply just walking away making sure to thank them for the flowers.  

He was rushing towards your house on foot (since all the taxi’s and ubers were fully booked because of the Olympics) whilst running he stumbles across your passed out body all black and bruised with scratch marks and bleeding all over you. “what happened” he whispered, knowing you obviously weren’t going to respond.  

He picked up your near-dead body, and cradled you in his arms taking you back to the stadium (since he knew that getting an ambulance to come here or running to the hospital would basically be impossible.) When he got back to the stadium, he did get odd looks from strangers but he didn’t care, his only agenda was making sure you were okay.

You woke up, and saw Bokuto pacing the room repeatedly you tried to get his attention by saying his name but your throat was damaged. He eventually notices you and runs to your side, stroking your face softly and giving you a gentle hug making sure not to hurt you.  

“Who did this Y/N?” he asks with worry in his eyes  

You ignore his question and look at the silver medal wrapped around his neck making you sad “I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the match, I tried I really did try” you said with your voice sounding even worse after you said every word.  

“Don’t be silly, I’m just glad that you’re okay babe, I was really worried about you.” he said

The Medic came in and said that you had multiple broken ribs, but beside that you were fine you just needed to rest your throat and let your bruises heal. You eventually told Bokuto that it was some of his fans, he was upset that you hid this from him for so long but he was just glad that he got to you as soon as he did. He managed to play at the next Olympics and you were there fully present, with your even bigger boquet of flowers watching win gold.

Authors Note: I tried to make it as close to your request as possible, but I hope you enjoy as I really do think this is my favourite work so far.... :3 Comments and feedback appreciated.

[yank-a-ton]

Feel free to talk about thte first half of that ask I sent, the one about Michael giving up Trevor's ID. I love your analyses! I've only recently started playing and have no one to gush over it with so my asks can be a little scrambled.

Hey no worries for a bit of scrambling. My replies are always scrambled anyways. We'll scramble these eggs together

That split second decision to tell Trevor to run goes through my head so often lmao. The plan was to kill Trevor and send Brad to jail and it was going to be quick so Michael wouldn't have to think too hard about it in the moment. Kill Trevor first so it's too late to change his mind. I'm sure that was Michael's idea, too.

He's got a sick obsession with Trevor in a way. He likes the way Trevor almost worships him, and he hates it too. He's the physical manifestation of every night of fun he's had, every bad decision he's made. A constant reminder of who Michael Townley really is. Somewhere along the way that stopped being a good thing in his eyes. He knows a part of him will always want Trevor around in one way or another, and a fresh start doesn't include that. If he kills Trevor, there's no temptation to go back. Not to mention the fact that Trevor has been wearing Michael thin for years now. He's a liability in a lot of ways.

There’s this implication throughout the game that before Michael met Amanda, all his attention was zeroed in on Trevor and their partnership. However that's interpreted is up to the audience I suppose, but it's clear that Trevor, this man who has been deprived of affection his whole childhood, finally felt he was the center of someone's universe. He's Michael Townley's best friend, and nothing could be more important than that. So when Michael starts splitting his time between Trevor and his family, Trevor gets jealous. He acts out in small ways to bring Michael's attention back to him. And it works, but it chips away at their friendship every time. The longer it goes on, the more Michael distances himself. The more Michael distances, the worse Trevor's outbursts.  It's this unending cycle that leads to resentment, and Michael couldn't handle it any more. I think he's fully aware of how he messed Trevor up, but he also doesn't view it as his problem, because he has his family to think about.

Anyway, back to the Ludendorff heist. The sheer amount of planning that had to go into the Ludendorff heist on Michael and Dave's part for it to go down the way they wanted is crazy to me. He really sold them out completely just to get a head start lmao. Then you've got the logistics of the day itself. Dave is the only member of the FIB that’s a part this, and that it's kinda hush hush so they've got to plan it in a way that a single sniper can get it done. They didn't count on the entire police department showing up and creating chaos,, or Brad ruining the shot.

Michael is deadset on the plan, shown in the little comments he makes to Trevor throughout the heist. (Trevor, talking about the money in the vault: "Oh...There's enough here for us all to enjoy!/Who said North Yankton was a dead end. There's enough here to keep us all entertained." Michael: "Depends on how you look at it." and Trevor when he kills the security guard holding Michael Hostage: "There'll be time for grieving later." Michael: "Yeah, you got that right.") He's fully prepared for a future without Trevor in it. He's excited about it to some extent. Ready for it to be over and done with.

But little things keep going wrong on this heist. Way more cops than Michael anticipated, the driver getting shot, Trevor and Brad constantly worrying about the helicopter and suggesting alternate escapes, and getting hit by the train all kind of compile and make an already stressed out Michael frazzled and jumpy. So when Davey takes the shot and Brad walks in front of the bullet, there isn't much time to think.

Every little doubt Michael may have had jumps to the forefront of his mind in a split second. He can't look at the situation with a "Whatever happens, happens" view anymore because it all went to shit. Now he does have to think about Trevor dying. It's been prolonged. If Davey doesn't do it, the cops will. So he puts on a good show of dying, without a single drop of blood escaping his kevlar vest, and tells Trevor to run. It's his final gift to someone he still reluctantly cares about. And he's gotta be believable too, he can't ask Trevor to stay around to get shot and finalize the plan, because he knows Trevor would see right through it. So he does the only thing he can do to sell the story, and dramatically pretends to die.

Did he flinch when Trevor wailed his name in agony? Hearing his voice crack when he begged the officers to kill him instead? Does it even matter if he did?

Like you said, Trevor has nothing after this point. Michael sold him out completely (and why not? He expected Trevor to die, he wouldn't need that money lmao). He has no savings, he has no family, he has nothing but a history of addiction and self loathing to fall back on. And I dont think any of this occurs to Michael even once. He did his good deed, and saved his best friend from bleeding out in the snow. Whatever happens to Trevor from that point on, is Trevor’s problem.

Then you’ve got Trevor’s side of things. He watched the only person who’s ever cared about him bleed out in the snow. Seemingly out of nowhere, too. There was no way of knowing someone would be waiting behind that building to off them. So Trevor runs away because it’s all he can do.  He cant stay still for long because the feds are after him, and he can’t visit Michael’s grave for the same reason. (I’m sure he does once things die down. But to not be able to go to the funeral on top of that would be rough) He’s got nothing but memories and heartache. 

It’s so funny to me that Trevor likely moved to San Andreas to escape Michael’s ghost. North Yankton would be full of reminders. Gas stations they robbed, motels they stayed at, maybe even a park he took Tracey and Jimmy to. The cold weather itself would be a harsh reminder. So he moves to the sunny state where he’ll at least never have to feel those days on his skin. Where he’s close to an idealized version of Michael, but not the ghost. The bright shiny Vinewood sign mere miles away from him, a small reminder of the world Michael was obsessed with. Close enough to remind, but not close enough to hurt. Not realizing that Michael is there too, trying to escape Trevor’s ghost as well.

[dadycoool]

There are several, possibly many, points in the show where Aang does something that is framed as either good or cool, but doesn't have to deal with the fallout. Depriving the SWT of their 2 main breadwinners, to start with, followed swiftly by staying long enough on Kyoshi Island to lure Zuko there and leaving it a smoldering, soaked ruin. We see onscreen how Haru's earthbending got him captured and how removing Long Feng actually did massive damage to the war effort. This is simply what he does, just like how he's consistently demonstrated absolutely no respect for anyone's way of life at any point in the show.

Regarding the whole "I'm a pacifist" thing, a true pacifist is someone who can do lots of harm, but chooses not to. Not someone who chooses not to kill. There's a difference, and any doctor will back me up on that. And someone should remind him what happens when you sink over a dozen fully manned ships in Arctic water. Also, maybe if he'd learned a single thing about healing, he'd understand the concept of cutting into someone to get rid of necrotic tissue that would cause major harm if left in place.

Yes, he's a child. We've all heard that line a thousand times, but he's a child with a lot of responsibility that he needs to learn how to juggle properly. When Zuko was that age, he knew what responsibilities he would have down the line and was already trying to prepare himself for them. When Aang heard about his responsibilities, his first reaction was "But why does that mean I can't play with my friends anymore?" and his second was to run off and avoid them. And his third, and fourth, and every chance he could until he was backed into a corner and started having mental breakdowns about it.

If he was serious about holding to his Air Nomad teachings, he'd hold to the whole "Attachment to the physical is detachment from the spiritual" thing. The tighter you hold on to what you want, the more you lose what you and those around you need, until the time comes to act and you're fully unprepared for the action and its consequences.

I'd like to say I don't hate Aang, but judging by this big long rant, I'd prove as much of a self-righteous hypocrite as him.

Without arguing whether Aang should or shouldn't have killed Ozai, what he did to him—life imprisonment—was not only just as bad but a terrible burden he saddled with Zuko.

Zuko has no choice but to care for his warmongering abuser? He has to make the decisions about him and his imprisonment? He can go speak to him when he's feeling particularly lonely and desperate?

Sure, this is part of the narrative in some of the (trash) comics (which ok I haven't read bc #self-preservation), but we see Ozai imprisoned in the show, too.

The decision makes Aang seem self-righteous, sanctimonious, and selfish. Aang doesn't have to deal with the consequences of this decision—Zuko does.

Now, I don't actually terribly mind the decision not to kill Ozai. I used to think it was kinda silly (how many people did you kill throughout the show Aang?) but then I thought it was kind of nice that Aang got to choose to be the Avatar he wanted to be (even though obviously he should have gotten there without the Pointy Rock). The problem is in how the fallout is handled. Yes, the death penalty sucks...but so does any prison! "Lena, you dumb boomerang, this is a kids' show," you might be thinking. "What were they gonna do, send him to Avatar-Norway?" But why shouldn't a kids' show have to reckon with the effects of Aang's big-finale decision?

Obviously it wasn't Aang's decision, it was the decision of the writer's room, but because it was Aang's decision in the show (his final decision, really) it's presented as the right one, the moral one.

Life imprisonment is not inherently more moral than the death penalty, full stop, but especially when Zuko is forced to allow his father to haunt him forever.

[wwwcapricorncom]

hii could i request something? i don't mind whether it's a headcannon with some drabble or a longer scenario, do whatever you have time for. make sure you're taking care of yourself 🥰

oki so nsfw haikyuu, im very indecisive so I'll give you a list of some characters - feel free to include multiple alsjdggwgw.

tsukishima, kageyama, miya twins, kuroo, bokuto, yknow throw in hinata for some spice. basically anyone that would rUiN me 😗✌️

okay so for the scenario literally go wild with it, I'd love to have a few kinks involved like dumbification, verbal degrading, use of "puppy", breeding, denial, overstimulation and masochism (or sadism if you look at it from the characters side).

feel free to improv if there's anything specific you've been wanting to write lmao I'm happy with anything.

have fun hehe

Eep! You’re so sweet I could cry T^T. You’re my first ask btw so Thank you thank you! Anyone who enjoys this post, please thank anon! This will also be my first work for haikyuu so I hope it will be good! In addition, i'll write the reader as Fem for now bc it wasn’t specified, so I hope that’s okay<3. I was gonna include all characters, but I felt I kept you waiting long enough.

Okay so im thinking…. How they act when domming WITH BOKUTO, ATSUMU, OSAMU, TSUKI, AND HINATA.

Genre: SMUT/MINORS DNI/ 18+/ Characters aged up

Warnings: dumbification, verbal degrading, use of "puppy", breeding, denial, overstimulation, masochism & sadism, a wee bit of impact play in Osamu’s... it just happened, gagging, nose pinching, praising, oral (fem and male receiving), dom dynamics, use of the word “daddy.

                                                      BOKUTO

Bo is a wild card, so anything can activate his dom moods and they can vary from service to hard domming.

You have to watch out for those days when you do something that he finds so cute because that’s when he wants to be a service dom.

And that means fucking you completly dumb.

“C’mere puppy”, just wants to show you how much he appreciates and adores you, so he has to make you feel so good that you turn into mush.

Always fucks you in a position that relies solely on you having to rely on him because it’s such a power trip for him.

Will have you picked up and getting fucked against the wall of your room as he tells you how cute you are.

Seeing you like this triggers something so animalistic in him, he is suddenly so hyper focused as he fucks you like an animal.

LOUDDDD

Just wants to see how wrecked you’ll get for him, but wrecks himself too.

~

“C’mere puppy, gonna pick you up.” You're a mess already, having been getting fucked into on your back by your boyfriend. Still, you put your hands out so he can pull you into his broad chest and up you two go. He smiles at your compliance and goes in to kiss your cute lips, albeit deeply as he sucks on your tongue and bottom lip which makes saliva string you two together when pulling away.

By the time he is done kissing you, he has your bare back pressed against the cool surface of your room walls and is nudging the head of his big, fat cock back into your needy hole. “Ah! Bo, fuck! like this?”

You can’t help but ask while clinging to him for dear life as he bottoms out in you. All he can do is nod, one hand strongly wrapped around your lower back, close to your ass, and the other flat against the wall above your head. He loves the way you cling to him, much like how your soft walls do at the slightest dragging of his cock. In and out. He begins to buck his hips up into you and you bounce at the sheer force of each of his thrusts, breast bouncing gloriously in front of him too as he eyes them.

You’re open mouthed panting in no time in rhythm with his thrusts as your eyes gloss over while looking into his golden ones. He searches your face before using force from his legs to start ramming into your spongy spot and you gasp, “fuck daddy wait!”

“Just wanna make you feel good pup, just let me…” He groans as he continues to fuck into your gspot, making you clench around him sporadically as you begin to moan, “i-if you keep thrusting there-

“You’ll cum? Good, cum for me and i'm not gonna stop either.” He states seriously as he picks up his pace, moving the hand he had around you to your hip and gripping it tightly as he enclosed you against the wall more. You had no choice but to take the harsh thrusts that he was giving you, each retraction taking the air from your lungs before the thrust to your spot delivered intoxicating pleasure.

Your fucking head was getting cloudy as you succumbed to the pleasure, sweat trickling down the valley of your breasts at the body heat you two were producing, the mere sight of you sruggling to determine what you should do makes him go feral. Gripping both of your hips, with a bruising glasp, he makes sure the top half of your back is still resting on the wall as he begins to bring you down on his dick while thrusting up.

“You look so fucking sexy like this! Shit, I love having you on my cock!” He is growling now as you moan incoherent sentences, clinging to him closely you decided on just nodding your head. Too fucked out for anything else as he dominated your throbbing core.

He moans loudly at this as he balls slap aggressively against your ass, “already fucked dumb, pup? Fuckkkkk just how I wanted you.” He says as you start to go weak from the pleasure of your orgasm staring to consume you, moving to place your head in between the crook of his neck. He doesn’t let you though, grabs you by the chin and forces your unfocused eyes to stay on him as drool trickles down your skin from your lolled out tongue.

How could he not watch you go dumb on his cock as he fucks your through your orgasm and into his. You two are going to be so sloppy when he’s done.

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

                                                           TSUKIII

This fucking Psychopath mean and hard dom.

The most verbal degrader, but also lovesss to humiliate you too.

Just looks at you condescendingly, but is trying to hide his amusement.

“You look so pathetic right now, sweetheart.” is pushing his glasses up with one hand.

Has the other hand buried two fingers deep in your needy cunt.

All you can do is whine because for fucks sake he won’t give you anything, but shallow thrusts. All because

“If you want more then fucking work for it!”

Has you fucking yourself on his fingers in an instant while he snickers and smirks  (still being mean) as if his hard on isn’t threatening to fucking cream his pants.

~

“TSUKIII!” You whine as you grip his wrist that is connected to the fingers inside your dripping cunt.

“You look so pathetic right now, sweetheart” He states with a smirk as he gives you two sharp aimless thrusts into your cunt, making you whine louder.

“P-please just give me more! Stop being so mean!” You say as you look up at his shirtless frame. You know by the look on his face that he is having fun, that he enjoys seeing you so needy and you hate that you’re feeding into it. But it’s so hard, when he has been fingering you to the edge and stopping every time right before you could even release.

“You want more? Then fucking work for it, whore!” He says almost sadistically and you nod as you lift your hips up to meet his fingers. You begin to thrust up into his two nimble, long fingers as you clench around him. Your walls are thankful for the aggressive friction that you are finally getting after 3 near orgasms.

One particular rough thrust hits your g spot and you moan lewdly, tongue almost hanging completely out as you feel the familiar tingles of a strong orgasm. Just as you go to lift your hips up to ram into his fingers in the exact same way, his other hand is pressing you firmly down onto the mattress, halting your attempts.

You fucking choke on a sob as tears obscure your vision and he snickers, “Aw you’re such a crybaby!”

But seeing your flushed face and rising chest as your lip quivers, does it for him. And he’s a little mad at himself because you won and don’t even know it. I mean now he just has to fuck you- you just look so pretty, begging for him after he’s been so fucking mean to you. Crying. Gosh, it makes his dick twitch as precum trickles down to his balls.

Yep, now he’s gonna fuck that needy cunny and give you all that you wanted and then some.

♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

                                                      ATSUMU

Much like Tsuki, he is also a mean and hard dom, but actually has the ability to turn into a soft one.  

Loves to degrade too but because he loves feeling superior. 

Will be at his meanest when he just lost a match and Def takes it out on that cunt. 

Right after like right after the game, he has you riding him in the fucking car. 

Is being so mean too, “don’t tell me that’s all ya got, ya little slut?”

“Ride my fucking dick then!”

Once you amp it up though, fuck his tune switches so fast. “God yer so fuckin’ wet, gonna breed ya just right bc ya think ya can fuck me like this and get away with it?”

Like sir you were just… anyways he will hug you into his chest and mark your flesh up. 

Fills you to the brim while praising and then makes you sit with it leaking into your underwear all the way home 

~

“Come on slut, fully sit on it. I don’t care if it hurts!” Atsumu grumbles as he smacks your ass, making your legs quiver and a few more inches to slip further into your stretching sex.

He’s so big and that asshole barely prepared you before telling you to basically spear yourself on his erect cock. He’s only this mean when he loses and as much as you wish you could say you hate it, you don’t at all.

You love proving him wrong and he always tries to be right, the only difference is he is being meaner right now. That’s why he slams you the rest of the way down on his cock and has your eyes springing open as you arch and shake with a loud cry.

You can’t even express how full you feel or how it feels like he could’ve just broken you, but your pussy can. It’s gushing around him as if you just came, making a mess at his base and his neatly trimmed pubes.

“Don’t ya fuckin’ dare cum yet, don’t tell me that’s all ya got, ya little slut!” He growls taking ahold of your neck with his large hand. You whine at this putting your two smaller hands around his forearm and shaking your head ‘no’, mind getting cloudy.

He sits up a bit, sweaty back unsticking from his leather seats as he gets inches from your face, still clenching your neck, grasping tighter even.

“Then. Ride. My. Fucking dick!” He snaps, eyes dark as he swipes his tongue over his bottom lip. You feel so aroused at this point, grinding your hips into his as your walls scream from the weak prep.

He continues to spew mean shit at you, further stimulating you as you begin to ride him faster. He is slipping soon after, groans tumbling out of his mouth as you bounce on his cock like a rabbit.

Whines sharply when you start to clap your ass down on the dick before hugging you to his sweaty chest. Your hard nipples will drag against his skin as he keeps you embraced, strong arms around your back as he sucks purple marks into your skin. Will begin to fuck up into you as he moans, “ya can’t ride me like that and not expect me t-to fill ya up, pretty!”

Doesn’t care for your response, too lost in his own delirium, as he concentrated on ramming all that fat cock into your hole in attempts to get deeper and deeper. And when he hears you finally cry out about how, “ ‘TSUMU! YOU'RE TOO DEEP!”

He is emptying his balls into you, with an iron grip on your hips to keep you firmly planted on him as he repeats, “gonna fuckin’ bread ya! Bread ya so good… look at that cunt drinking it all up ah!…such a good girl.”

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

                                                     OSAMU

Is the reverse of his brother- Is primarily a soft dom, but knows when to be a hard/ mean one.

Loves caressing you and giving you touches everywhere.

But is really good at commanding, does it calmly with hot lazy eyes. 

“Go a little faster… yea there ya go. Good.” 

“Don’t do that baby, ya wouldn’t want me mad right?”

Sometimes that is what you want thoe and you’re being such a brat that he understands too. 

That’s when he goes Dom, probably having enough of your bullshit.

Like if you’re teasing and disobeying him, per example, when you’re giving him head. 

Without warning will put a firm hand on the back of your head and push you forward roughly. 

Will fuck your face so meanly, scolding you about how, “this is what ya wanted.” 

~

“Come on, go a little faster baby.” Osamu commands and his matter of fact tone, the one he uses when he wants you to do something without protest, sends tingles to your cunt as you flutter your eyes up at him.

Deciding to obey this time, even though you know you want something a little more tonight, you begin sucking on his tip a little faster. He nods his head slowly, relishing the scene before him as he tilts his head back.

He’s really getting into it, baby loves when you suck him off on your knees. It always feels so good and he finds himself in this exact position. Head thrown back, eyes shut, one hand holding your makeshift ponytail, and the other on your cheek.

You love the look in his eyes, lustful and lazily hanging open as his pupils flicked down occasionally to drink in your movements. You were growing needy though, panties getting soaked as you rub your thighs together, sucking faster. His hums of approval indicated that he enjoyed this action as he wets his lips and rakes his fingers further through your hair.

Deviously you decided to take him in further and graze your teeth along his skin, something he loved but did not take kindly. It always made him feel way too good like he would cum way sooner than he would want to, so it pissed him off every time you did it. And you knew that it had worked now too when he let out a surprised hiss as you continued to lightly graze your teeth on his member. His breath is shaky as he lets go of the ponytail that he had formed to keep your hair out of your face.

“Fuckin’ mistake” he states seriosuly as his strong hand pushes on the back of your head, lunching you forward and making his cock fully slot itself in your throat. It hurt, it burned, and you were soaking yourself because of the pain. You loved when your daddy turned into such a meanie.

“Can never use yer fuckin’ words huh? Had to be a damn brat.” He grumbles as he starts to slam into your mouth, making tears trickle down the corners of your eyes as you try to keep up with the brutal pace.

He is groaning by now, the force of his thrusts making the veins pop from his arms and legs as your thighs get wet with arousal, “ya like it that much, nasty girl, huh!” You try to tell him yes, but a quick slap to your cheek makes you moan like an absolute slut. It was not enough to hurt, just sting and utterly surprise you, but it was more than enough for you, “don’t fuckin talk when I'm blessing ya with a full mouth.”

His tone is still as calm as ever which makes your pussy throb even more as you nod rapidly, desperately, doe eyes looking up at him as he smirks slightly before continuing to stretch your throat with brutal snaps of his hips. When he begins to cum, he makes sure to thrust fully into you, on his tippy toes, as he firmly plants one hand on the back of your head while using the other to pinch your nose closed.

You cum untouched, choking on his seed and gasping for air as tears stream down your face. But all he says is “ya wanted this and ya liked it, my little masochist.” Osamu has no problem being a sadist for you.

♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

                                                HINATA

SERVICE DOM !!!

Such a precious baby (reminds me of Izuku) loves to eat you out, but because he really wants you to feel immense pleasure.

Is so attentive, sucks on your breasts, licks your inner thighs, places kisses on your ankles and legs before diving in.

Holds your hand while using the other to spread you apart.

“You taste so good baby.”

Is the type to shake his head from side to side while eating that pussy.

Will overstim you on accident at first, but realizes he loves how easy it is to reel orgasms out of you when you’re sensitive.

“Cum again for me please?”

Oral with him almost always leads to over stimming… both ways.

~

“Another kiss here… and here….here.” Hinata mumbles against your skin as you arch into the touch of his soft, wet lips. He started at your own lips, made his way down to sucking your neck and breasts, paying special care to your nipples. Sucks and nibbles on them for so long that you're wet and the buds are throbbing and sore.

He will then move down, dragging his tongue down your stomach, kissing your belly button, licking at your thighs before grabbing them. He spreads you open, groaning at how your cunt is seeping with arousal as he stands up, your legs on his shoulders while he admires you.

Will kiss your ankles as he rubs his underwear covered cock along your slit, collecting your slick and dampening the fabric. When he can no longer kiss your flesh or produce light touches here and there, too needy, he dives in and kisses your pussy.

“Sho!” You gasp as your hands fly to his hair, weaving into the orange tuffs as he licks a long flat tongue up your entire cunt. He’ll sigh against your puffy clit after this, amazed that he gets to taste you whenever he wants, and this starts the feast.

He starts to suck and nip at your folds, cute nose bumping against your clit which makes you squeal each time, “you taste so good baby.” He groans again as he reaches to hold your hand that abandoned his hair in favor of gripping the sheets. Your heart swells at the cute action as you grasp his warm hand back and he reallys starts to get lost in your soaking cunt.

So engrossed in tongue fuckng you while rubbing your clit with his thumb, he doesn’t register your slight warnings of, “S-sho you’re going too f-fast!” Because you weren't used to being touched and cared for so attentively, him being the first to do you like this, and your orgasm was approaching so fast it was shocking you.

Precum is rushing out of his cock when you start cumming on his tongue, but he doesn’t stop there. He starts to shake his head between your legs from side to side, further stimulating you and getting sloppier, as he gulps and slurps and continues to eat you out.

“TOO SENSITIVE!” You yell as you start squirming away, but his hold on your hand just gets tighter as he flicks his eyes up to you, “cum again for me please? I know my beautiful girl can…” He says, hot breath fanning your quivering cunt as his dark eyes look up at you. You whine at his words, but accept and he's back to over-stimulating you, using his tongue to weave through your folds and into your hole, rubbing your clit harder.

You gush so much for him by the end of the night. And he hasn’t even fucked you with that monster stamina yet.

[hyunsuks-beanie]

It'll Always Be You

Lee Felix × reader; angst, but with a fluffy ending; 2923 words; lovers to exes and back

A/N So Felix has me feeling all sorts of things today, bc of how good he looked during the performance. So here's a scenario for our Sunshine!

"Here's your order and have a nice day," you smile to the female customer in front of you, before handing a pack of cookies to her child. Once the leave, you let out a sigh and look at your best friend who's cleaning the counter next to you. "All done for today!," you exclaim, to which your friend looks up and smiles, before taking off and folding her apron. "So, what are your plans for tonight?," she asks, making you give her a knowing look. She to her eyes before saying, "How long are you gonna stay cooped up inside your house? The break up was two years ago for heaven's sake, you need to start living your life again." "Hey, I am living my life, it's just that, unlike you, I am not interested in going out and meeting new people every day. I meet enough strangers while working here, so there's no need to go clubbing daily," you shrug.

When all she does in reply is pout, you chuckle and say, "Okay, how about we go for a movie tomorrow? My treat." Her face lights up at that, and she gives you a tight hug before saying, "I really want to meet your ex once though, just so I can break his nose." You giggle "Oh he's dead and gone."

Oh, if only you knew.

Once you send your friend off, you start tidying up your little bakery up. This was the place that helped you get over your breakup, which had been messy to say the least. You had immersed yourself fully in your work, because you knew it was one thing that would never hurt you or break your trust.

You sigh lovingly at the memories of setting up and running your bakery, turning your back against the front door. And just as you are reminiscing you hear the door open, causing you to turn. The moment you do so, however, you regret it, because standing there, staring at you wide-eyed, is your ex, otherwise known as Stray Kids' Lee Felix. You both continue to stare at each other for a while, before he finally breaks the silence (and your trance) by whispering, "Y/N."

You clear your throat, and say, "I'm sorry, but we're closed for the day." He rushes to the and hurriedly replies, "Please, it's rather urgent. My friend Hyunjin is really craving some blueberry pie, and he refuses fo join practice before I bring him what he wants." "I told you, I'm sorry, but I can't help you today. You can come back tomorrow though," you say, not looking into his eyes. "Please Y/N, Chan hyung is getting really angry, he's gonna ground me along with Hyunjin," Felix reasons, and you find yourself giving in to his pleading eyes and pouty lips.

"Fine, wait a minute," you say, making him crack a smile. Boy have you missed that smile of his, you think, before mentally slapping yourself for still not being able to resist him, even though he broke your heart to pieces when he broke up with you over the phone two years ago, telling you that he could no longer do long distance with you being all the way in Australia. It wasn't the breakup that hurt you though, it was the fact that he had found someone better and closer to him, or so he said.

Little did you know, though, that the company had he had never really found anyone else, that he didn't want to find anyone else. The company had made him lie to you when they came to know he was secretly dating. He tried to put up a fight, but the company started threatening him about the group facing consequences. He knew you'd see right through him if he told you the truth, so he had to lie to you in order to make you hate him, just so you could move on in life. He meant well, but he never knew he hurt you so bad that you'd give up on dating and love altogether.

"Here you go," you say while handing him his parcel. He thanks you, while contemplating if he should make small talk. Mustering up the courage, he asks, "How have you been?", while looking down. "Fine," you reply, "Congrats on the comeback." His head snaps up at that, as he says, "I didn't know you knew I had a comeback," "It was all over the news, Felix. Stray Kids are really making it big," you swallow before adding, "Your partner must be really proud of you," complete with a fake smile plastered on your face.

Felix winces at your words, not knowing what to say. In the end, he settles with, "How long have you been running this bakery?" "Since about a month after we broke up." When he gives you a confused expression, you sigh and add, "I was kinda already about to move to Seoul when you told me that you had found someone else. I was gonna surprise you, but you ended up surprising me instead."

"Y/N, I-I never knew. I'm so sorry, I-," he says, but you cut him off. "I-I t-think you should leave," you say, with tears threatening to spill. "Let me explain, please. I swear I'll come clean, please, just give me a chance." "No Felix, I can't give you any chance, you blew it up when you hurt me so bad that it made scared of ever loving again. Please.....j-just go," you say, shutting your eyes close. Dejected, he turns around to leave, but not before saying, "I'm sorry," one more time. Once he leaves, you sink down to the floor, crying. "Why did you have to ruin me so bad?," You whisper.

You don't, however, notice that just outside the door, Felix too, is crying hysterically as he gets into his car.

Upon reaching the JYP building, Felix rushes to the washroom to try and dry his eyes and hide any signs that he's been crying. "I still love you. I never stopped, but gosh, why did I have to be such an idiot to let you go? And that too, in the worst way possible?," he says to his reflection in the mirror, thinking back to your broken expression. Slamming his fist against the sink, he curses at himself.

Once he's finally sobered up a little, Felix goes back to the practice room to give Hyunjin his pie. Though he has half a mind to just call in sick and go home and weep, he knows the group needs him. "Here you go, Hyun," he forces a smile onto his face when Hyunjin thanks him. Chan notices his slumped shoulders, but shrugs it off as tiredness. "Now that everyone is satisfied, can we get back to practice?," he asks. Once all the boys agree, rehearsals begin again, but Felix can't find it in himself to focus. He keeps making mistakes, which finally results in Chan stopping the music, grabbing his hand, and taking him out the practice room and to his studio.

"What is it, Lix? You've been distracted ever since you came back from the bakery. Come on, I know something is bothering you, it isn't like you to lose focus. Tell me what it is," Chan says, sternly but gently, his concern for the younger boy evident. "It's nothing, hyung. I'm just tired," Felix tries to evade the question, but Chan presses on. "I'm not buying that, and I'm not gonna have you distracted during performances or practices, either. I can't risk you injuring yourself or any of the boys, so I'm saying again. Spit. It. Out. Leader's orders."

Felix sighs, running a hand through his hair. After a pause, he finally says, "I saw Y/N today. The bakery, it is owned by them." Chan's eyes go wide at this, since he's the only one who knows the circumstances under which you both broke up, and is also the only one who knows about how much Felix regrets letting you go, in the worst possible way. "What happened? Were they....rude to you? Or did they do something?" "What? No hyung, they were nothing but nice to me. We made small talk, and they told me that they were planning to surprise me by moving to Seoul, when I broke up with them. I hurt them so bad that they are scared of ever loving again," Felix says, taking shaky breaths between sentences as tears welled up in his eyes again.

"I messed up so bad hyung, you know I still love them. They're the nicest, most perfect, most lovable person I've ever known, and I damaged them so badly, gosh I feel so guilty," he breaks down again, causing Chan to wrap his arms around him, giving him a shoulder to cry on. Once Felix calms down, Chan says, "You know what you have to do now, right?" "What do you mean?"

"You say you still love them. You say you're guilty. But instead of telling these things to me, you need to tell this to them. Apologize to them, tell them the whole story. Tell them there was never anyone else, and that it's always been them. You didn't fight for them back then, because you were worried for us. But you can fight for them now, because we got your back. Win them back, Lix. Make up for your mistake."

"B-but hyung, why would they ever want to take me back again? I've been nothing but a jerk to them." "Well, in that case, you can't blame them. But they deserve to at least know the truth. They deserve to know that your intentions were not wrong. If they choose to walk away after that, they will at least have had gotten closure. Who knows, it might help them muster the courage to go out and love again. You owe this to them, Lix."

Chan succeeded in knocking some sense into Felix, as the next day, the younger boy found himself in front of your bakery, preparing a long speech explaining why he did what he did to you. He's so engrossed in his thoughts that he doesn't notice your best friend walk out the bakery and stand next to him. "Uhm, are you okay?," she asks, surprising him. "O-oh, uh-uhm, yeah," says Felix, while noticing her uniform, that's identical to yours. "Do you work with Y/N?" "Yeah, we're friends and partners, and on most days, we work together. But they called in sick today, and told me they'd cover the evening shift. How do you know them though?"

To this, Felix finds himself at a loss for words, but he figures if he's gonna come clean to you, he needs an ally. And what better person than your best friend? So he takes down his mask slightly, making your friend gasp in response. "You Felix from Stray Kids! What are you doing here?" "I-I came here to meet Y/N. We broke up two years ago due to a mistake I made, but I need to explain things to them. They deserve to know the truth." He looks up to see your friend glaring at him, as she says, "That was you? You broke my best friend's heart? How could you? I'm not letting you anywhere near them, you jerk"

"Please, just give me 5 minutes, and I'll explain everything to you. Then you can decide if I deserve one more chance." When your friend doesn't say anything, Felix launches into his own version of things, explaining himself and his actions. Once he's done, your friend is still glaring at him, but he notices a smile tugging at her lips.

"You have been nothing but a complete and utter jerk to them. And honestly, you deserve to get your ass kicked by them. But I know that they still love you, and the way you are repenting what you did tells me that you love them too. So I give you my blessing. They'll be here in the evening at 6, be here before then." Felix hugs her super tight at that, with the biggest smile plastered on his face while thanking her. She adds, "But if you hurt them again, I swear I'm gonna murder you with my own two hands." "It won't come to that, I promise."

Felix arrives at the bakery at 10 minutes to six, and the moment he enters, your friend shoves him into the kitchen, asking him to stay there till you come. Once she leaves, he starts pacing up and down, raking his hand nervously through his hair. He tries to prepare what he is going to say, but gives up when he realizes that it would all go out the window when he sees you.

Meanwhile, the moment you step inside the bakery, your friend pretends to be busy setting stuff up on the counter, and asks you to bring in some things from the kitchen. Unassuming, you start walking towards the kitchen doors, when she notices your swollen eyes and exclaimed "Babe, have you been crying?" You muster up a fake smile and tell him that it's just you not feeling well, but unknown to you, Felix heard your friend, and guilt washes over him again. But he doesn't have time to wallow in it, as soon after, you step in.

The way your expression morphs into one of pure sadness breaks his heart into a million pieces, and when you say, "What more do you want from me?" while holding back tears, it takes everything in him to stop from falling to his knees and begging forgiveness. He tries to speak, but you hold up a finger, indicating you aren't finished. "Now that you've found me again, was it not enough for you to have me admit that what you did to me made me stop believing in love? Do you even want to rub it in my face by telling me how happy your are with your partner? If that is so, then please, just get lost, I'm begging you."

Tears are now streaming down your face, and Felix finds himself saying, "Just please. Let me explain. You deserve to know the truth and my feelings and intentions. If after that, you want me to leave, I swear, you will never have to see me again." You can't look at him, but when you don't reply, he says, "I promise that this is the real truth behind what I did. Please hear me out. I lied when I said I had found someone else. There is no 'someone else,' and there never will be one. The only person I've loved, the only person I still love, is you. It'll always be you."

"The company made me break up with you, and threatened me that the group will face consequences if I didn't do as they had asked. I that that if I outright told you the real reason, it would hurt you. And so, I decided to lie to you in order to make you hate me, even if it broke my heart. But never did I ever think that it would damage you so badly, and I know I've been stupid, but I can't help but ask for you to forgive me, and give me one last chance. I know I've been a total jerk to you, and even now, I'm being nothing but selfish, but I just want you to know that I still love you. I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me, and I'll walk away forever. But you deserved to get closure, and I hope that if you do choose to give up on me, you will now be able to love again, and trust again."

By the time he stops talking, the both of you are sobbing hard. You ask him, "Are you done?" When he nods, you say, "You say that you will walk away if I choose to give up on you. But do you really think I'll be able to give up on you? If I couldn't stop loving you even when you broke up with me in the cruelest way possible, what makes you think I'll stop loving you now that I know that you went through the same pain as me? You knew what the truth was, and you still had to hide it. I can only imagine how hurtful that must have been, Felix. I hate myself for believing your stupid lie, for ever doubting the love you had for me. I'm sorry, and I forgive you."

Felix looks up at you, surprised. It takes him some time to process your words, and when he does, he asks you, "What does that mean....for us?" To this, you shyly reply, "Well, I never stopped loving you, and if you didn't either, then should we give us another try?" Felix smiles the brightest he has in ages, as he slowly comes closer to you. Cupping your face, he wipes off your tears, as you proceed to do the same. "I promise I'll never let you go again," he says softly. You giggle and say, "You'd do well to keep that promise," before biting your lip.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?," he asks. You nod in response, causing him to gently place his lips on yours. And for the first time in a while, you feel like you're home.

[maxemilianverstappen]

omg your "analysis" of charles' one sided hatred towards max back when they were kids is exactly the impression i had too! like for example this year, when max said in a press conference that they could now laugh about it (the incidents they had etc) and george mentioned that sharl was still not laughing... 😭 im convinced he's still traumatised from the many sleepless nights he had to endure after ruined races while max was probably (most likely) over it after an hour at most lmao

Max's mentality must be like "I prepare fully beforehand, give my all during it, learn from it, and then put it past me. Because I can't change what happened." He accepts the outcomes of stuff quicker and thus saves himself from a load of heartache and headache. He seems like someone who is ready and willing to let past sourness/disappoitments/hard feelings go as long as the other party also looks willing to forgive and forget. This doesn't mean he is any less passionate or hungry for more success. He just knows the moment when shit is out of his hands and puts it aside to look what's before him. Max is what I aspire to be like, but it is a hard mentality to learn/adopt after you grow up as someone like Charles.

Charles on the other hand looks like the type who holds onto grudges, never forgets/forgives past mistakes and possibly reexperiences them with equal emotional reaction when he remembers them. Though he is said to have a very strong mental fortitude, too, I think their strenghts stem from different things. Like, Max's comes from knowing when to let go of shit and Charles' comes from holding onto shit adamantly.

I am no psychologist, but I think Max's approach is more positive on the long run.

Max's general approach to stuff is almost always positive. He steps into situations with good faith and openly. And if he thinks his rage is required, he rages.

Charles is very cautious. He steps into situations on guard and it is so obvious that he restrains himself much more than Max if he finds his rage is provoked.

Their personalities are quite different. Their personalities fit to their teams' images to a t, too.

Ferrari is the aristocrat of the racing scene and expects a certain degree of decorum and tactileness from its drivers to fit in with their "eliteness", while Redbull is like the hot blooded hotshot ruling the streets, wild, fun and spontaneous.

I have been watching how max and Charles are talking about each other in interviews closely and they both look on a different page about their shared past.

Charles has been bringing up how they were both angry at each other, hated each other so much, it is interestingly enough the first thing he mentions. It feels like he is still holding onto those emotions to some extent. But now Max must be finding their karting days rivalry shenanigans hilarious and childish meanwhile acknowledging how the circumstances had made them feel like that during those years.

Look, you can see the way Max is much more ready to get on well with people from his recent comments about Lewis, too. He said he had no hard feelings about his Silverstone accident, that he has no problems with him. He asked about his back, he tried to boost his morale about Mercedes' struggles... That boy is a very good egg.

I am on the fence about his relationship with Charles even though I like their shipping scene a lot. Max loses quite gracefully and has always looked genuinely happy for Charles, always approached him, always initiating their talks. I want to see the reverse of this situation, too, but I doubt it. And it is okay, I am just ONE person out of the whole fandom who is seeing them like this possibly. That's why I'm not writing fics for them, because i think I'm alone in my personal headcanons about them.