#but i’ve seen the comments i know y’all feel the same

[copsecore]

!!EA SPOILERS!!

guys i wanna fuck the dragon good Lord

[arlestial]

❝lavender haze❞

synopsis : Rin begged Ego to let you assist to one of his training games. But he wasn’t quite fond of your interactions with a certain player..

pairing : Rin Itoshi x genderneutral!reader •— Blue Lock

tw : A mix of fluff and comfort, with the slightest bit of angst (jealousy themes, possessiveness)

word count : 2700~ words

author-note : Hi !!! It's been so long, I missed writing so much... I finally passed my final exams, and I'm now in vacations; I’m going to Austria today. My blog is like- a blue lock obsession at this point lmao but ngl i like it that way. Btw, I’ve seen the movie and I'm just plain disappointed ? It was short asf, and the animation... well, we don't wanna talk about it. Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated :) sorry if it’s bad btw !! Anyway, take care of yourself ♡

A rare, smug smile appeared on RIN ITOSHI’s lips; a smile that immediately triggered his teammates, who looked at each other, dumbfounded. They weren’t used to observe him with such an expression written on his usual stern features; as soon as he left the locker rooms, whispers emerged in the sweaty air, begging for an explanation.

"No way he did," Isagi contested with a frown and a disapproving tone, much to Bachira’s dismay.

"I’ve seen it with my eyes," The other retorqued, "Believe me. He smiled, dude. I’ve never seen him smile before."

"We’re gonna get fired from Blue Lock. I swear— he wouldn’t be happy if it wasn’t terrible. He’s a sadist."

"No worries, my dear Isagi. We’re going to elucidate this mystery together," Bachira replied with a proud smirk of his own; Isagi sighed at his friend’s antics.

"Maybe it’s personal."

"It’s never personal enough for us not to be nosy !" The dual-haired boy nearly gasped, "Our duo is unstoppable."

With more or less desire to intrude Rin’s life, Isagi joined Bachira into a rather quick — and disappointing — mission, to solve the mystery around the cold-hearted guy’s smile, a smile they had the chance to witness.

"Ah. Itoshi asked Ego to let his partner see the next training game. I didn’t know he would be this enthusiastic once Ego accepted."

Anri’s revelation should’ve been a relief for the two men — they wouldn’t be expelled of the program. Thus, Isagi had been surprised and confused when he noticed Bachira’s quiet attitude.

"Aren’t you supposed to be delighted you discovered the truth ?", The raven-haired boy asked, curious, as they walked in the corridor to join their rooms again.

"I didn’t even have time to feel the thrill of the investigation," the other whined.

"At least we know he has a partner. It’s… let’s just say it’s surprising someone like him could ever get someone."

"Someone like me ?"

The sudden third voice scared the two men off, and they jumped. Of course, it was Rin. Always there at the worst moment. Isagi gulped.

"H-Hey, I didn’t mean it like that—"

"What Isagi was trying to say, is that we’re not picturing you as the lovey-dovey type of guy, you know ? Not a good boyfriend or something."

If Isagi could facepalm right now, he would, "Thank you for your help, Bachira, it’s even worse now", he replied in a murmur.

"Who said I couldn’t be the "lovey-dovey type of guy" ?", Rin huffed in his usual cold tone, "and a good boyfriend ?"

"Everyone," the two others responded at the same time. Rin rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"So, y’all just sat down and talk about who could be a good partner or not ? That’s probably why you’re still fucking losers at soccer."

Bachira held Isagi back, amused by his eagerness to show Rin "who’s the real loser between them". Rin walked away confidently, and above all, enlivened by Ego’s answer. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it, the butterflies already flying eagerly in his stomach in anticipation.

RIN ITOSHI’s belly butterflies died in an instant. It wasn’t fair. At all. He had been longing for you since weeks now, months even; he negotiated with Ego for who-knows-long, trying to find a way to make you come to a training game of his — so that he wouldn’t have to search for you in a huge crowd of exasperating, futile, and bland people. And here he was, watching you from afar talking with Isagi Yoichi. He cursed under his breath. This dude had nothing to do with you. He was nothing compared to Rin; a mere guy, with limited soccer skills and knowledge and experience and — why were you talking with him anyway ? When he was right there, waiting for you. The training have haven't even started yet, and playing with Isagi left a bitter taste in his mouth. He threw a hard glare in your direction, which you immediately noticed; you waved at him with a smile, and it nearly made him melt. It would've if he wasn't this upset in the first place. Bachira called for Isagi, and the raven-haired boy returned to the field with a smile. If he could, Rin would definitely wipe the smile off this random guy's face.

RIN ITOSHI tried not to let this affect him. But the prominent and everlasting burning sensation in his chest clouded his mind, making him loose his focus each time his eyes would fall on either Isagi, or you. And god knows how much he had missed you, how he needed to touch you now, to feel your skin just against his — to kiss you endlessly, and his gaze softened by pure reflex as he noticed you were staring at him. He felt guilty, to entertain such hideous resentment towards you, while you were just there for him, as beautiful as the day he left you in your shared apartment to join Blue Lock again after his short break. Was he jealous? It couldn't be. Why would he be jealous of Isagi? He was better than him in everything. Atter 45 minutes, when they all got a short break from the match, Rin refused to say a word. He was always rather quiet - but now, it felt a bit weird. He just stared at Isagi with a cold gaze, and the other boy frowned. When they had to join the field again, Isagi stopped Rin, a hand laying on his shoulder.

"Hey, is everything okay? If it's about the score of earlier, I already said -"

"Look," Rin cut out quickly, his tone slowly shifting to an irritated one, "I don't want to hear your fucking voice."

Isagi's brows were now even more furrowed in confusion,

"What the.. I did nothing bad, dude. If you're upset, that's not my problem. Deal with your childish feelings alone, I don't know."

Childish feelings ? It was deeper than that. Much to Rin's own surprise, he grabbed Isagi's collar, dragging him closer with a menacing look. He didn't know, did he ? How much Rin loved you, how much he required your whole attention. Maybe it was childish indeed, selfish even, to desire to be your whole world. The only one you would ever think about. If he could make you his forever, he would; and at the same time, you had every right to talk to other people, be friends with anyone, you were free after all. But that wouldn’t rub out the aching feeling in his heart, seeing you smile with someone else, having a good time with someone who wasn’t him. Maybe because in the very end, he was scared of losing you. Of you, finally realizing you deserved far better than what he could give you. He was distant, sometimes. He hurt you too much, argued with you on futile things, left for Blue Lock for months, he was a huge mess, and still, you wanted him. It was a mystery for Rin, but he wouldn’t ever complain. He was too engrossed in your love and affection, and somehow, even if he knew it was fundamentally wrong, he’d never wish for you to realize what you truly deserved. Because it wasn’t him. And he couldn’t bare to see you enjoying your life with someone else other than him.

"I’m going to end your pathetic and meaningless existence so quickly you won’t have time to take another breath," Rin spat sharply, "I’ll politely advice you not to approach them ever again — don’t want your disgusting germs to infect them, understood ?"

With these words, Rin yanked him away and joined the field, leaving a widened-eyed Isagi behind him. As soon as the game ended, the whole Blue Lock team began gathering their water bottles, heading to the locker rooms. Rin stayed behind, since he wanted to spend some time with you before your departure. When you both were finally alone, you walked down the stairs, and Rin immediately engulfed you in his arms. One hand was grabbing your side, the other resting on the back of your head, pulling you close. He sighed, inhaling your familiar perfume — it was his favorite, the one he gifted you recently — and pressed a delicate kiss to the crown of your head.

"I missed you so much," He declared, or more precisely, complained, and you chuckled, embracing him just as tightly.

"And I missed you even more," you responded, loosening your embrace to look at him. He could die for this fond look in the depths of your irises. You didn’t have to ask; his hands reached for your cheeks, tilting your head backwards to kiss you gently, yet, eagerly, a pleading for your tenderness. You kissed him back, amused by his move. He was usually the reserved type, especially in public — even if the whole stadium was empty now. Your lips parted to welcome his tongue inside, deepening the kiss even more, a slow dance mimicking his need for you. He kissed your forehead softly when you two broke away from one another.

"What happened earlier ? With Isagi. I thought you were gonna fight."

The question tensed him. Of course you had to bring it up. He stroked your cheek delicately, as if you’d shatter if he wasn’t careful enough.

"Nothing, love, don’t worry. I was just—"

"He told me about it, Rin."

You cut him, and he winced. Ah. That was a problem. He swore he discerned a tint of disappointment in your eyes, but it faded away too rapidly for him to search for it again.

"I thought we said no lies between us."

"I know, darling", he could only mutter. You gently took his wrists, then his hands, intertwining your fingers together.

"Am I not reassuring you enough, Rin ? I won’t ever leave you. Especially not for a guy I just met. You know that."

"More than enough," the memory of your smile and laugh when Isagi cracked a joke made him sigh, "it’s hard to believe sometimes. That’s all."

You nodded; with his lack of self-esteem, how was he supposed to believe you, anyway ? It was a constant fight against the insecurities crawling in the pit of his soul, however, you would never let them win. He suffered enough alone, now that you were there with him, you’d be in the frontlines.

"But it’s still true. I’m lucky to have you, Rin. Maybe one day you’d finally recognize that."

At this moment, he wanted to tell you he was lucky to have you, but he didn’t dare, especially not when he saw you reaching for him again, your arms around his neck. He let himself drown in your arms and comfort, soothed by your heartbeat — at this very precise instant, he swore his heart was beating for you. And if you wanted it on a silver plate, he’d gladly do so.

"I’m sure his joke wasn’t even that funny."

You chuckled, "maybe not better than yours, I must admit."

Not far away, two boys were spying on the scene; their investigation had been more successful than what they ever hoped for, "maybe he’s not that bad, after all."

"I thought he was going to choke me to death."

"Oh, he could."

RIN ITOSHI was a possessive man. Somewhere, he wanted you to rely on him, and him only — to be the only source of your happiness. He never had something to call his; you were the first. And he fully intended you to be the last.

[palajae]

pov: everyone thinks you’re lonely asf but that’s certainly not the case…

PAIRING... ni-ki x f!reader | GENRE... smau, secret relationship! au, fluff, romance, humor | warnings: food, i think that’s it??

a/n ▸ tried something a little different while im on break due to exam season :)

ynln posted!

liked by yfun, sunoo.ing, and 434 others

ynln aquarium!!!!!!

view all 92 comments

yfun CUTIE liked by author!

yfun 💕💕💕

ynln i should’ve brought you with me instead… yfun instead?

user did you go alone lol

sunoo.ing fr 🤔

user1 omg invite me next time

n.riki.120905 posted!

liked by yy_jungwon, simjakeyun, sunoo.ing, and 601 others

n.riki.120905 me and my bestie steve

view all 58 comments

yy_jungwon yoiii why didn’t you take me

simjakeyun excuse me who is steve 🤨

n.riki.120905 second slide??? simjakeyun aint no way i got replaced by a stingray

lee.heehee steve is a mood

ynln posted!

liked by yfun, yy_jungwon, n.riki.120905, and 321 others ynln took the city by surprise…

view all 67 comments

yfun EXCUSE ME Y/N Y/L/N

yfun AT NIGHT

yfun BY YOURSELF (?&;!;:

ynln for once i was indeed not alone 🙏

yy_jungwon omg you went out

ynln and you went to the gym !! yy_jungwon bruh how’d you know that

n.riki.120905 posted!

liked by ynln, sunoo.ing, and 509 others

n.riki.120905 late night shenanigans 😝

view all 18 comments

yy_jungwon i hope you fell down those stairs

n.riki.120905 is this because i made you do five sets instead of three yesterday

jong_park02 why were you out so late??

simjakeyun there goes mother jay again

ynln posted a story!

yfun replied: who is that??

user replied: that looks too good neidjendne

n.riki.120905 posted a story!

sunoo.ing replied: lol that’s crazy my friend y/n also got some

n.riki.120905 posted!

liked by yy_jungwon, hooniezz, sunoo.ing, and 233 others

n.riki.120905 call me the animal whisperer

view all 41 comments

simjakeyun stop hanging out with these animals and pick up my call instead

simjakeyun why have you been so busy recently

hooniezz dang niki don’t like you anymore simjakeyun who hooniezz ?? what simjakeyun who asked

user dogs >>> cats

ynln posted!

liked by sunoo.ing, yfun, n.riki.120905, and 198 others

ynln best decision ever was volunteering at the animal shelter <3

view all 56 comments

yfun omfg whose kitty is that 🥹🥹

user more like whose hands are those 👀

yy_jungwon why that cat looking kinda…

sunoo.ing familiar?

n.riki.120905 posted a story!

simjakeyun replied: NOW HOLD ON A SEC

sunoo.ing replied: wait a minute…

ynln posted!

liked by yy_jungwon, yfun, sunoo.ing, and 303 others

ynln why study for exams when you can not 😌

view all 74 comments

yfun IS THAT A GUY I SEE

yfun STEALING MY Y/N FROM ME

user wtf you have a boyfriend !?!!;&:

sunoo.ing no way that’s who i think it is 😭😭

ynln idk what you’re talking about??? sunoo.ing i feel betrayed

n.riki.120905 posted!

liked by ynln, sunoo.ing, lee.heehee, and 586 others

n.riki.120905 the best company ❤️

view all 90 comments

ynln awww ig i could say the same to you 🙄

ynln bro what is with that second pic

sunoo.ing I KNEW IT

lee.heehee yo what did i miss

simjakeyun 💔💔

jong_park02 i’ve never seen ni-ki look so happy

simjakeyun ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

ynln posted!

liked by n.riki.120905, sunoo.ing, yfun, and 450 others

ynln happy birthday to the best boyfie!!! 😼😻 thanks for the best year and here’s to the next ones 🫶

view all 71 comments

yfun IM CRYING THE HARD LAUNCH

yfun MY Y/N CAN PULL 🤧

ynln HEY

yy_jungwon y’all cute ig… liked by author!

hooniezz i approve

n.riki.120905 nobody asked :D

n.riki.120905 i love you liked by author!

ynln ilyt 🥰 simjakeyun oh no am i the third wheel now sunoo.ing you’ve always been the third wheel..

a/n ▸ i got inspired by various writers on this platform to make this but anyway this is the beginning and end of jae’s smau era. it was fun but i can’t do this anymore it took literal HOURS (jk who knows 👀). hope you enjoyed tho as i crawl back into my study cave for the next couple of weeks :))

MAIN TAGLIST ▸ @precioussoulofmine @kynrki @heesterical @nvertheless @duolingofanaccount

@hoeshii @love-4-keum @luvhyun3 @dimplewonie @yjjungwon

@who-tf-soddhi @microwvdstrawb3rri3s @asteria-wood @noajakah236482 @enhacatalog

@june-pop @ohsjy @ashtxrie @isoobie @lvyvsrk1

@kflixnet

[confusionmeisss]

can you watch my boyfriend, please? - n. sturniolo

🫧 nick sturniolo x male!reader

🫧 the “can you babysit my boyfriend” tiktok couples trend done with our lovely nicolas!!

🫧 just fluff.

🫧 560 words.

🫧 hello lovelies!! thank you kindly for wanting to read!! i did a chris version of this initially and it made me want to do one for the others as well, so here we are!! enjoy reading & much love!! <3 (ps. happy pride my loves!! 🩷)

matt version masterlist

“Hey y’all, can you watch my boyfriend for me, please? I’ll be back quick, promise,” you say, setting the phone up against a stray glass.

“What the fuck?” Nick says, looking confusedly at the camera then up at you.

“Be good,” you say, placing a kiss on his cheek and walking away.

“Be good?” Nick looks offended by your departing statement. “The fuck? I’m always good. You guys know I’m always good, right?” He asks the camera.

Nick rolls his eyes. “Anyway. I was just editing this weeks Wednesday video which I think is one of our best because it’s funny as fuck.”

“Y’know, you gotta be your own biggest fan, it’s the only way you’ll get anywhere creatively. It’s the same as being your own biggest critic,” he says with a nod of his head. Then he looks directly into the camera seriously. “But you have to know how to balance them out. Like, you have to know when something you made is shit, and know if you have to start over or rework it.”

“Anyway, I’m really bummed out that I don’t have tickets to Melanie Martinez’s The Trilogy Tour,” he says with a slight pout, tapping at the touchpad of his laptop. “I would’ve loved to hear Detention live. And the videos I’ve seen of her concerts before, her outfits always eat! And her stage presence, my God, it’s otherworldly!”

Nick suddenly rolls his eyes as he remembers something. “Ugh, so I went to ask Matt to take me to the store yesterday because we were out of Dr. Pepper, mind you, it’s one in the afternoon, and I walk into his room and he’s absolutely dead asleep.”

“Oh, we went to Target today, and I fucking tripped in a crowded ass aisle like the clumsy fukcer I am,” Nick lets out a huff. “Like it’s embarrassing as fuck when there’s like three different age ranges laughing at you.”

Nick goes to say something else but is cut-off by his bedroom door creaking open. He watches as you walk in and over where he’s sitting at his desk.

He feels you stand behind him, putting your chin in his hair. “Hey I’m back, thanks again for watching him yall. I hope he was good for you!”

Nick rolls his eyes up towards you. “Of course I was good,” he says with an irritated huff. “I’m always good.”

You let out a laugh, placing a kiss into his hair while reaching over him to end your phone’s recording.

—

comments

count on nick to always come at us with some wise words of encouragement ❤️

“yes nick, you’re always good” we all say in unison

nicks offense at being told to be good is sending me into oblivion 😭

is nick alluding that there’s a real og-ness to this week’s wednesday video?????

oh the pain of embarrassing yourself in public 😣

i am matt matt is me bc i too annoy everyone around me by sleeping in till 1pm :)

i feel your pain on not having tickets to melanie’s tour. god bless for tour videos on my fyp 🙏

oh dr pepper lovers rise!!

the affection & the kisses 💓💓

okay but i wanna know what nick was gonna say before the door opening interrupted him…

who else is happy that nick is in a happy loving healthy relationship???? 💛💛💛

[sterredem]

Descendants

F1 grid x driver!rookie!reader

Face claim Pinterest girls

Warning Mention if addict (max with RedBull), Not proofread, spelling mistakes, long

Summary the new rookie on the grid is obsessed with descendants and makes it everyone’s problem

A/N bsf/n = best friends name (for anyone that didn’t know)

I like it! I hope y’all also do. It’s pretty long and I made it over here course of a few weeks so there can be parts where it doesn’t fit so if you notice that please say it so I can fix it! I have also had my descendants obsession come back with the new movie. (Still deciding if I like it or not)

Please repost and comments it helps a lot! Feadback is also appropriated!❤️🫶

Instagram

Liked by LewisHamilton and 2.735.567 others

f1 BREAKING: Y/n y/l/n will make the step in 2025, signing a multi-deal with Red Bull! ✍️

View all 8.276 comments

User1 YES!! 💜💙

User2 OMG? Already up to red bull? I would suspect that she would go to rb first!

User3 There are going to be a LOT of GenZ on the grid! It’s gonna be chaos!

User4 wait till everyone finds out how crazy and a PR nightmare she is 💜💙

User5 LETS GOOOO

User6 power duo with her and max

User7 Women in F1 again??

User8 YESS!! 💜💙 I have loved her ever since F3!

User9 Why do so people use the blue and purple heart?

User8 its an inside joke with her and the fans. It’s better if you get to know it through something else (I’m not trying to gatekeep its also just really hard to explain)

User9 alright. I’ll look it up.

User10 not really surprised

User11 she’s so pretty

User12 why do they say multi-year and not the year?! ITS SO ANNOYING!!

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Instagram

Liked by RedBullRacing and 926.752 others

Y/n_Racing Ready for 2025 with red bull. Already binge drink wing this drink. Happy to drive the bull for a few year (hopefully a long time)💪

View all 9.968 comments

RedBullRacing Happy to have you on our team next year💪

MaxVerstappen1 2 history makes in the same team… this is gonna be fun. Happy to have you as a team mate

Prema_Team Sad to let you go, but happy to see you in f1. Great job Y/n💪

User1 HISTORY MAKER!!

User2 Why is this such a dry caption? From what I’ve heard she is a PR problem but this doesn’t seem like it

User3 she is… she has a second account that is managed by herself and that is the chaotic and problematic one. PR has tried to take it away but she always finds a way to get it back. So they’ve given up. I think I’m a few minutes she is gonna post on their and cause a problem of post a chaotic post

User4 FINNALY A WOMEN AGAIN!!

User5 she will be the inspiration to Kay many jong girls

User6 Already looking forwards to the next season!

User7 wait… so where is Carlos going?

User8 her and Ollie being on the grid together is just so funny to me. They are going to cause havoc

User9 I already love her and I’ve only seen a PR made post

User10 💜💙

User11 wait till everyone sees her descendants obsession. They won’t think the same about her

User12 she is so pretty

User13 she looks so nice😊

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by bsfuser and 745.578 others

Y/n_Real Just vid announced as a RedBull driver… I think I need to change the aesthetic to red…… good this the new descendants movie will be with a lot of blue (and Evie will be our saviour!)!! Als the 5th picture is how it feeling rn.

View all 14.852 comments

Bsfuser AAAHHHH IM SO HAPPY!!!!

Y/n_Real YESSSSS

Bfsuser Also the rise of red and Evie our saviour 🙏🙏

Y/n_Real REAL!!🙏🙏

User1 AAAHHH!!! IM SO PROUD

Y/n_Real THANK YOU!!💋💋

User2 OMG I FOUND THE SECOND ACCOUNT!! And user3 was right!

User3 Always eats with her posts

User4 The mal picture is so real

User5 I love how she interacts with her fans in this account

User6 wait why rise of red? Isn’t that Ferrari?

Y/n_Real yes. But CINDERELLA AND HER DAUGHTER! (Sorry for being passive aggressive I am just SO EXITED ABOUT EVERYTHING (but they are both blue so yaya red bull!))

User7 I love her and bsf/n’ relationship!

User8 do you know how they became friends? I’ve seen a lot about them but I’m just wondering

User7 yes I know! They became friends at a comic con event for the 3rd descendents movie where they sat next to each other so they began talking and became friends

User8 That so funny! How do y’all know all this?

User7 sometimes Y/n or bsf/n go live and just talks a lot

User9 The make up looks so good!!

User10 you are so pretty

User11 Post 941 of Y/n putting mal in her post (don’t break this streak sweetie)

Y/n_Real OMG YOUR STILL HERE!! I love you!!

User11 ILY TOO

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by Kyliecantrall and 626.735 others

Y/n_Real SO PROUD OF YOU KYLIE!!! All that aside… I am soooo proud of you Kyliecantrall and I’m very happy that you have made it this far!

For anyone that’s nee here: this is my VERY talented friend Kylie, and she has made it into a Descendant movie!! I have had the honours to go to the premiere and to have known this lovely lady for quite some time!

Love you Kylie and you did an AMAZING job playing Red!!

(Also 5th picture is how I felt at the premiere)

View all 9.925 comments

Kyliecantrall I LOVE YOUUUU!!!💋❤️💕

Y/n_Real ILYYY 22222!!!! 💋💕❤️

Bsfuser I LOVE U KYLIEE!!!

Kyliecantrall I LOVE YOUT TWOOOO!!!😘😘

User1 I love her friendship with bsf/n and Kylie

User2 OMG SHE WAS AT A DESCENDANT PREMIERE!!!

User3 I WAS SO EXITED WHEN U SAW HER!!

User4 real ones know who Kylie is and her friendship with Y/n and bsf/n

User5 Now the male picture again😂

User6 I’m still so confused at this

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by Bsfuser and 767.725 others

Y/n_Real New team, new me (Also this wasn’t my plan Bsf/n dragged me into this)

View all 8.726 comments

Bsfuser Don’t say I dragged you into this. It was YOUR plan

Y/n_Real STOP SPREADING LIES!!

User7 It looks so good!

User8 Why does this seem so random?

User9 My new fav brunette and black haired duo

User10 I love you both!!

User11 you both give me dark academia vibes and I’m LOVING it!

User12 So cute!

User13 and there we go with mal… again (not complaining)

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by Bsfuser and 925.725 others

Y/n_Racing Life as a newly brunette and attending an f1 race as an announced driver for the first time

View all 9.926 comments

Redbullracing Happy to have you and glad we can see more of you next year😊

Maxverstappen1 It was nice seeing you again!

Alex_albon I see you have already taken after my hair dyeing. Welcome me the grid Y/n

Bsfuser Rude that you didn’t invite me🙄

User1 Brown hair looks good on you

User2 she is really living the dream life: going to premiers and f1 races and also going to drive in f1 and being besties with descendants cast members

User3 just wait until she meets dove Cameron or Sophia Carson, she WILL freak out

Y/n_Racing DONT EXPOSE ME!

User4 my favourite celebrity

User5 So happy to see you on the grid next year!

User6 just wait until the grid sees her descendant obsession.

|———————————<3—————————————|

Time skip to 6 races in the season

Twitter

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Instagram

Liked by DoveCameron and 1.564.254 others

Y/n_Real A real dream come true! Me and @bsfuser met the people that started our friendship!!! It was an absolute dream meeting @DoveCameron and @SophiaCarson !

(We also got some great advise… you will see it soon)

View all 123.625 comments

DoveCameron I also had a great time meeting you! Liked by author

SophiaCarson It was lovely meeting you and bsf/n (I also hope you can do something with what I said) liked by author

Bsfuser THIS STILL FEELS LIEK A DREAM!!

Y/n_Real FOR REAL

OscarPiastri Weirdo. I noticed you where obsessed with descendants with the music that always comes from your drivers room but this…

Y/n_Real Says the one that is doing a movie marothon from descendants with his girlfriend

User7 AHHHH THEY MET!!!!

User8 What did they tell you?!

Y/n_Real It’s a secret 🤫🤫🤫

User9 Not this being one of the only posts with over a million likes😭😂

User10 I love how the drives are already aware and done with her descendants obsession

User11 I AM SO JEALOUS!!

User12 I love that for y’all!! (Totally not jealous and not sarcastic)

User13 Them also commenting🫠🫠 so cuteee!!!

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Liked by Descendants and 1.725.267 others

Y/n_Real Dove, Sophia, Bsfuser, Alex, Kylie and a lot of the drivers + descendants movie cast said I should do it… so I did. New hair era!!!

View all 267.275 comments

DoveCameron It looks so good!!

Y/b_Real Thank you!

SophiaCarson I said it would be a good idea!

Y/n_Real And you were right!

Bsfuser Should I go blue?

Y/n_Real YES!!

Alex_albon Already going for my bit I see

Y/n_Real you’ve never done purple soo…

OscarPiastri This is really beginning to become a problem

Landonorris True

Zhouguanyu24 True

Hulkhulkenberg I also see it

Logansargeant I also do

Yukitsunoda0511 Same with me

Valtteribottas I fear I also see it

Kevinmagnussen I also see this becoming a problem

PierreGasly I also do… and why purple? There are a lot of different… better colours

Lancestroll I have to admit I also see this as a problem…

DanielRiccardo Why doe it kinda look good??

EstebanOcan It doesn’t…

Fernandoalo_Oficial It does, shut up Estie

Carlossainz55 Yeah shut up Esteban

LewisHamilton It looks really good Y/n!

Y/n_Real Thank you Lewis!

LewisHamilton Also I also think Descendants is a great movie series

Y/n_Real YESSS!!

Maxverstappen1 Obsessed

Y/n_Real Says the RedBull addict

Charles_Leclerc should I now also whatch it? I want to but I think I’ve already heard to many spoilers from you

Y/n_Real watch it.

User1 All the drivers in the comments😭😂

User2 I think the grid noticed her obsession

User3 They FINNALY caught up!

User4 The hair looks amazing!

User5 everyone here talking about the hair but has anyone seen the make up?? IT LOOKS AMAZING!!

User6 Y/n had really made it now

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[beautyofaphrodite]

Happy Friday!

As Friday is a day to honor Lady Aphrodite, every week I like to create a post similar to this, where I talk about a certain topic and have questions for you to share or think about. Last week’s post can be found here. As always, this may not apply to everyone.

Today’s Topic: Aphrodite and Being Queer

Tumblr is known for being a very queer app, so I wouldn’t be surprised if many who see this are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I’m going to refer to us a “queer” instead of the acronym because it’s long lol.

Lately, as there has been more acceptance and representation for queer people, more and more have been realizing they’re queer. We have always been here, but we are more and more seen and loved than we have been in the past.

Lady Aphrodite has always been a queer goddess. She is a goddess of love, and that means all love, whether that means love between a man and a woman, to two people of the same gender, to more than two in a relationship, to queerplatonic love, or any way that love can be experienced. In addition, She can be seen as trans or intersex with Her form of Aphroditos, someone with a “feminine” shape and “male genitals”.

Many, including me, see Her with more modern labels of queerness. In communication with Her, She has shown Herself to be transfeminine, pansexual, and polyamorous (completely UPG, not a belief everyone will share and She may use different labels or none at all if you ask Her).

Because of Her domains and how She is perceived, many of Aphrodite’s beloved followers and worshippers tend to be queer. Not all of them, of course, but many. For an example that is not modern, take Sappho, the poet where the term sapphic comes from. She often mentioned Lady Aphrodite in her poetry.

In my experience and the experiences from others that I’ve heard about, Lady Aphrodite helps a lot with identity and who we are. I know She’s helped people with internalized queerphobia, navigating relationships whether queer or not, embracing gender identity and expression, and much more.

I love our queer Goddess so much 🫶 I chose this topic in particular for this week as I’ve been struggling with being perceived as female lately. Usually I don’t care how people see me, I know nobody will use my pronouns irl so I just don’t care but I’ve been dressing feminine because I like it and have been getting more feminine comments and I knew that would happen and that that’s what happens when I present femininely but it sucks :/ (sorry for the little vent y’all)

Today’s Question

Does Lady Aphrodite appear queer to you in some way? If you are queer, has She helped you with that somehow?

Challenge

Be a good ally to others in the community or just the community in general. This includes those you don’t understand or think are “weird”. Ally is a verb, not an adjective.

Thank you all for reading this and happy Friday! As always, please think a little bit about the questions and feel free to share your answers if you choose! I will share my answers in a reblog as always.

To anyone who sees this, may you notice love and beauty all around you.

[popgirlshowdown]

about that taylor swift post-

im going to address this once so that hopefully the deranged weirdos on my post can find some clarity 🩷

it’s great to have different opinions. it’s totally fine. but I’ve been getting the same comments about taylor swift SO many of times and i honestly think it’s just annoying bc you all seem to think you’re funny but you’re just not lol. it’s the same comments repeated over and over again they weren’t funny to begin with and they’re not any funnier now. there’s no cleverness, no creativity, no ingenuity. you guys are just boring honestly and this post was me expressing how annoying you all sound after 7 days worth of the same inane comments :)

and also like- im like fully aware that it’s not that serious. what’s interesting though is that I don’t think YOU guys are aware that it’s not that serious lmao. maybe you guys just don’t have a good grasp on reality so maybe that’s why taylor swift losing a pop girl poll on tumblr dot com is so important to you like maybe you guys just like live in this false reality or something that I’m not a part of so I wouldn’t get your pov. in MY reality for example, taylor swift is a singer that i like and who i listen to. i don’t view her as any better or any worse than other singers i like and listen to. im able to live my life normally regardless of what taylor swift is doing haha. but for you guys it’s like, she is this ever-present ominous supervillain who is intent on destroying you and your bloodline so you view her as this enemy in a one-sided battle that she’s not even aware she’s participating in. so it’s weird but honestly kind of funny to watch as an outsider lmao. i’ve never seen a more obsessed group of people like i grew up in the barbz era and i feel like you guys give the same energy to taylor swift that barbz give to nicki minaj just in the opposite way if that makes sense. y’all are obsessed with taylor swift and thats just weird to me. if you dont even like her then why do you spend so much time talking about her lmao???? the fact that i made 1 (one) innocuous post about her and you guys are now having full on mental health emergencies in my notes and inbox shows how unhealthy this obsession with her is. that’s kind of where im getting confused so im asking for real here- are you just like closeted , shameful swifties like is that what this is all about?

anyways i’m linking tumblr’s mental health resource page. i would recommend perusing through some of these the next time you feel the urge to be insane about some 30 yr old woman who doesn’t know you ❤️

[boobabietch]

Chapter II: "A Rookie’s Obsession, A Legend’s Indifference: Is Diana Taurasi ready for Victoria O’Hara?” | Diana Taurasi x OC

Warnings: fight fight fight!! And a tad bit narcissistic Diana

A/N: I’m having a shitload of fun writing this lmao, so here’s another chapter I hope you like. As always English is not my first language so if you find something wrong tell me so I can change it asap, I can’t wait for y’all to read this and the next chapters I’m so excited. Likes, comments (!!!) and reblogs are highly appreciated and my ask box is always open. Love Sof :))

Making headlines masterlist

There’s a funny thing about being the best in women’s sports. People either love you or wait for you to fall. But when you’ve been around long enough, it doesn’t matter what they think. You know your place. And you protect it.

That’s what I’ve been doing since my debut in the WNBA. Owning the court. Owning the pressure. Every game, every season, everyone expects the same thing from me: perfection. Winning is never enough because when your name is Diana Taurasi, nothing is ever enough.

Then, she showed up.

Victoria O’Hara. The rookie everyone wouldn’t shut up about. Reminded me of me, hungry, talented, a little too much attitude for her own good. The first time I saw her was just before our game against San Antonio. I’d heard her name, knew she had something. But there’s a difference between hype and reality.

May 19, 2017

Game day. I could feel her eyes on me during warm-ups, it was cute honestly, I could see the gears working hard on her mind, probably wondering what it’s like to be me, to dominate the way I have. They all wonder. But what she didn’t know yet is that being good in college doesn’t mean shit here. Welcome to the W, kid.

I didn’t give her a second glance. What was there to say? Another rookie trying to prove something. I’ve seen it all. I’ve been that girl. But this one, this woman, had something extra in her. I could see it the minute the game started. Every time she took a shot, it was like she was aiming at me, if I didn’t know she wanted to rip my throat out I’d say she was in love. Every drive, every step, was a challenge.

I could hear the yelling in the crowd, I’d hear her teammates tell her to relax, feel the energy shift. People loved watching us, golden veteran vs. golden rookie. A fucking classic. O’Hara wanted to make a statement. I could tell she was on the edge, burning herself out just to prove she belonged. And every time, I’d remind her, I’ve been there. I’ve fought harder battles. If she wanted to be the next big thing, she was going to have to earn it. She was good, but I wasn’t worried. I’ve dealt with players like her before. They rise fast, burn out faster. But this one... she kept pushing.

Every game we played after that, it was like she had a personal vendetta. I couldn’t walk on the court without feeling her eyes drilling into me. She was obsessed. It was funny, really. This kid was trying so hard to beat me, to make me see her.

I saw her. I always see them coming.

July 7, 2017

We were in San Antonio. Close game. O’Hara played her heart out, I’ll give her that. But we still won. After the game, I found her slumped on the bench, wiped out. I should’ve just left her there. But something in me couldn’t resist. The kid had fire. I respected that.

“Not bad, O’Hara. Keep it up, and you might actually be a challenge someday.”

Her face said it all. She was rattled, but she had that spark. I liked seeing it. She looked at me like she was trying to figure out if I was serious. I was. Kinda. Then, she shot back:

“Someday? I’m already a problem for you.”

I almost laughed. Her confidence was impressive, misplaced, but impressive. I glanced down, smirked. Let her have that moment.

“Of course you are,” I said, walking off.

Sometimes I wonder what things would be like if I never said that, lucky for everyone I did.

July 30, 2017

Maybe I overestimated how in control I am of everything; the game, the rookie, and my body.

We were playing again, tensions running high. It was bound to happen. O’Hara wanted her moment, wanted to prove herself. And me? I wasn’t giving her an inch. Then, somewhere in the third quarter, it happened.

I saw her coming, her eyes locked on me with a mix of defiance and determination. She made a quick drive, cutting to the basket with an intensity that almost made me respect her. But I wasn’t about to let a rookie get one over on me. I slammed into her, blocking her path with enough force to knock her off balance. She hit the floor hard, her elbows scraping against the court. The whistle blew, and for a moment, I watched her lay there, her frustration almost palpable.

“Get up,” I muttered, standing over her. “You’re gonna need more than that to take me down, rook”

I saw the anger in her eyes as she pushed herself up, pressing her chest on mine. Damn, was she this tall the whole time? The way she glared at me, it was almost as if she was daring me to push her further. “You think you’re untouchable? Just fucking wait.”

My smirk didn’t waver. I’d seen that fire in rookies before, puffed up, ready to prove themselves. “I don’t think, O’Hara. I know.” I said with the most arrogant tone I owned.

“Oh you’re just a fucking bitch, aren’t you?” Before I could react further, she shoved me hard. Everyone erupted into chaos. I felt the rush of adrenaline as I moved to shove her back, but the moment I lunged, my teammates were already there, hands gripping my arms and holding me back.

O’Hara wasn’t any better off. Many of her teammates were swarming around her, trying to pull her away from me. I could see the frustration in her eyes as she struggled against their hold, her fists clenched and ready to throw.

Fun fact about fights: when you need the strength of 4 pro basketball players to hold you back, it makes you look really fucking dangerous.

We both tried to break through the human barriers restraining us. I could almost feel the impact of our fists connecting, the unfinished fight burning in my veins. But with every struggle, every strained push against the hands holding us back, the reality set in: we were not going to get to finish this here.

I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the cameras, the refs, or the impending technical. All I cared about was feeling that fire she was throwing at me. I wanted her to know what it felt like to face me, to try and break through the wall I’d built around myself.

Eventually, the refs managed to get us both under control, leading us to opposite sides of the court. As I was pulled away, I couldn’t help but glance back at O’Hara, her eyes still blazing with that same fire. Despite the chaos, a small part of me felt a twisted respect for her, a rookie who was not just willing to challenge me, but was ready to throw down if necessary.

The arena buzzed with excitement and disbelief as we were separated, but the fight between us was far from over.

That was the moment I knew this kid wasn’t going anywhere. And maybe, just maybe, I’d finally met someone who could keep up.

Little did I know.

Fucking Victoria.

"Rivalry Ignites: O’Hara and Taurasi Get into Fiery Altercation During Friday Game"

"San Antonio Stars Victoria O’Hara Adidas Grey and Black Edition Player Jersey | SOLD OUT"

Requests are Open!

Masterlist

[bam-bi-buck]

Buck & Chris’s relationship + abandonment issues - long post

Do y’all think part of the reason Christopher went with his Grandparents is because he felt safe enough about Buck’s love and commitment to him that he knew Buck wouldn’t be mad at him when he came back?

Before I continue with that train of thought, this thought process is shaped by theories I’ve seen about why Chris called his Grandparents instead of Buck when Chris has gone to Buck for support with his anger/fear due to Eddie’s whole thing twice before (4x08 & 5x13) but he didn’t this time? Why? maybe because viewing him as a parental figure in this case impacts how he views Buck likelyhood to be completely on his side as his grandparents (especially Helena) are instead of being on both of their side - which he was

Chris was really angry and hurt, he didn’t want Buck to try to fix this, to try to keep them together, he wanted Buck to be angry at Eddie with him, but that’s not who Buck is and both Chris and Eddie know that

That’s why Eddie called him and Chris didn’t

Now back to Chris, his abandonment issues, and his relationship with Buck and how we can interpret it based off 7x10

Chris has severe abandonment issues, which is not surprising at all based on what he’s been through - Eddie being in active duty throughout his early childhood, then working himself to the bone with three jobs, Shannon leaving to California and then dying

Then he had feelings of abandonment during the pandemic, he lost contact with both Ana & Marisol after their relationships with Eddie ended, his bisabuela moved back to Texas, and we didn’t heard about Carla at all season 7 (I’m like 98% sure - please correct me if I’m wrong)

In season 7 he even said he feels like girls leave when Buck had that dating talk with him

(Even Buck technically left him for a bit, during the lawsuit era but I’m unsure is he views it that way or not though we do know that Chris missed him during that time - Grocery Store Divorce and all)

However, Buck has since made a promise to him and their relationship has evolved a lot since then

We know that Chris goes to Buck when he’s mad at Eddie (4x08) and there’s lot of evidence that indicates he views Buck as a parental figure (he talks to Buck in a similar fashion as he does Eddie, he seeks out Buck for support, the way he spoke to Buck while he was in a coma, just to name a few)

Plus there’s a reason Eddie chose Buck as Chris’s legal guardian and why the writers chose to include that plot

Because of Buck & Chris’s bond

And he lost his mom, he’s almost lost his dad several times, he’s gotten attached to two different women Eddie was seeing and has now lost them

When Chris ubered to Buck’s place and said that everyone leaves, Buck promised he wouldn’t leave Chris

And then when he talked to Chris before he left with his grandparents, Buck did flounder a bit (as would I in that situation, not judging here) but he does make a comment about understanding Chris wanting to go which would probably reassure Chris that Buck isn’t and won’t be mad at him

I think Chris would have had a harder time leaving if he was scared of Buck not being there when he got back

We all have our assumptions (mostly negative from what I’m seeing but I’m not judging I do too) but we don’t actually know what Helena’s saying to Chris, if she’s talking down Eddie’s love for him or not

But while it’s possible she is, Eddie told Chris himself that he can come home at any point he wants

We can also assume that part of why Chris left is because he’s mad + hurt and lashing out wanting Eddie to feel the same as him / doesn’t trust Eddie right now and is waiting for Eddie to do something to prove himself before he’ll be ready go home

I do believe that Chris knows that he can go home to Eddie (no matter what Helena may or may not be saying) and thus him leaving isn’t triggering his abandonment issues and that he’s just waiting for, as I theorized above, for Eddie to prove he won’t be hurt again if he does

and thus his abandonment issues won’t be triggered regarding Eddie (this time) unless he’s convinced he can’t go home, something happens with Eddie, or Eddie fails to prove himself to Chris

OR his abandonment issues were already triggered and he felt like he was losing Eddie (again) to Kim and her madness and he left as a means to protect himself from that, and is, again waiting for proof that he’s safe to come home from the aftermath of all that

All that to say I don’t think his abandonment issues would stop him from leaving Eddie with his grandparents in this particular instance

Ethier way though… because Chris has had a lot of experience of not having both his parents, losing parents, dealing with the fear of losing parents, and losing positive authority figures, it had to be really tough to leave Eddie himself, no matter how angry and hurt he is

And if I’m right and he does view Buck as a parental figure as well then we might assume he’d also fear losing Buck as well by leaving to Texas

I think his abandonment issues would have been triggered regarding Buck while living in Texas, especially since he’s probably always worried about losing Eddie to a certain extent (army, overworking himself in Texas, work as a firefighter, etc) he lost his mother twice, lost both Ana and Marisol who may not have been parental figures but were positive authority figures in his lives, except Buck promised Chris he wouldn’t leave him

And so I think independently of his feelings regarding abandonment and Eddie, Chris still feels secure in his relationship with Buck to not fear losing him during his time away

Just a theory and I could totally be off but it’ll be really interesting to see how they address everything when Buck and Chris reunite (if they do)

[whaddayadothatfor]

Lucky Like A Four Leaf Clover

Pairing: Gojo x fem!afab!reader x Nanami

Summary: When Nanami finds you after Gojo has had his way with you, you wish the ground would swallow you whole. However, Nanami and Gojo give you something else to swallow instead.

Content warnings: Nanami-centric, aloof-Gojo, dub-con, switch!Gojo, switch!Reader, dom!Nanami, sex toys, dirty talk, edging, overstim, MFM, feelings(bleh), too much plot

AN: Y’all the plot in this chapter took me forever. Plus, I graduated university so I’ve been a bit busy. I’ve been watching Bridgerton and Queen Charlotte with the rest of the world so if anything in here reminds you of that, no it doesn’t. Unedited. Enjoy!!

WC: 7.7k+

Previous part

Taglist: @clora95 @timeoveritasconsumofigmentum @mc-reborn @julian0800

Oh God, if you love me, please let the Earth open up and swallow me whole, you thought to yourself desperately. No such luck.

You were still stuck, quite snuggly, underneath your bed. God must put out-of-towners on a waiting list.

Figures.

“Gojo, what on Earth have you done?” Nanami’s voice brought you back down to Earth. He sounded more serious than you had ever heard him. “We had a plan. All you needed to do was have patience.”

His last comment made you pause. A sudden realization made the contents of your stomach curdle. What plan? He couldn’t mean that they had been plotting to get in your pants, right? Before you could ask, Gojo cut you off.

“Nanami, you’d have ignored the plan too if you’d seen what she looked like. Besides, she didn’t seem to mind when she was fucking herself on my fingers,” he said arrogantly. His comments made anger surge through you. Unfortunately, you also have a degradation kink, so you clenched around him. It made him grunt in surprise. “See?”

Nanami ignored him, opting to pull him out of the way and yanking him out of you. Even though his dick had softened slightly, it was still a stretch and it felt uncomfortable enough that you winced. Gojo landed on his butt with a thud.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Are you okay?” His tone was gentler than it had been when he first came in.

“Please leave. This is literally so embarrassing.” And it was. Not just one, but two of your best guy friends have now seen your bare pussy. The same friends that, apparently, had been waiting for the right time to fuck you. The same two guy friends that you’ve tried—and failed— at falling out of love with.

There’s only one option left. You’ll have to change your name and move to another country. Guatemala is nice this time of year, you’ve heard. You’ll have to figure out how to break your new lease, though your new landlord will be pissed—

“I can’t do that yet, sweetheart. I have to make sure you’re okay. Can you come out from under the bed?” He coaxed. He was met with silence. Finally, Gojo chimed in. You had almost forgotten he was there, as being quiet was uncharacteristic for him.

“She’s stuck, Nanami.”

“Stuck?”

“Like how one might get stuck in porn, yes.” He said it so matter-of-factly that you would have laughed had it not been you who was in this predicament. You could tell that this threw Nanami off of his rhythm, as nothing happened for a second. Then you heard a commotion above you.

Nanami lifted the mattress off of the bed frame, and although you couldn’t see him still, you at least had some light to see the space in front of you. Hmm. You had wondered where the charger to your vibrator has gone. Now you know.

You can finally see what your wrist had gotten snagged on. It was some old wire slinky toy that you had gotten as a party favor from a carnival themed college festival during your first semester at university. The wires were hanging out out of the box they had been carelessly thrown into and bent out of shape in a way that you could put your wrist through but would have trouble getting it out the same way it came in. Who knew sentimentality would end up being your downfall?

“Wait just a minute. I’m going to untangle your hair and then we’ll get your wrist untangled okay?” His voice was so soft and gentle that it was hard not to feel comforted. He always had a way of making you feel safe.

You mumbled okay in response and he got to work in gently removing the knot that had worked itself around one of the metal bars of the bed frame. When that was finished, he instructed Gojo to move the bed frame away from you. He walked the short distance over to you and kneeled down to untangle your wrist.

His worried stare bore down into you. It made you feel a bit fluttery, if you were being honest. Your wrist had gotten a bit scratched and bruised from the constant back and forth movement with Gojo. At the sight of your injury, Nanami grimaced. After he finished, he gathered you in his arms and directed more commands at Gojo.

“Gojo, go get the first aid kit and then start a bath. After that, wait in the living room—“

“Nanami, you can’t just—“ Gojo stopped himself abruptly. You looked at Nanami to see why— the man looked furious. Before this, you had only ever seen him mildly irritated, either at Gojo and your antics or from a problem at work. But that was nothing compared to this. He looked like he wanted to kill Gojo.

“You’ve done enough. I’ll deal with you later. Go.” The finality in his voice was enough for Gojo to not put up a fight. Gojo went to do as he was told and Nanami returned all of his attention to you. “What do you need?”

A million thoughts swam around your head at once. What did you need? A snack, for one. A hot shower, for another. A fat nap. But none of those came out. Instead, you asked him—

“What did you mean that this ‘wasn’t in the plan’. What plan?” Nanami froze. Then, he began to walk around your room and bathroom. He was gathering all of your night clothes and prepping the bath for you to take. You watched him as your ire started to grow.

“Uh, hello?” You said. “Did you forget about me? What plan?” Still, Nanami steadfastly ignored you and covered you with your comforter. Gojo came in to drop off the first aid kit, but at the mention of the plan, he hastily made his exit.

Nanami grabbed the first aid kit to clean and bandage your wrist, but when he moved to touch you, you jerked away from him. His hurt expression almost made you forget about the whole thing, but you held your ground. You needed to know if they had been planning on using you the entire time, or if maybe it’s something else. Either way, your friendship was changing.

“Why won’t you answer me, Nanami? I know you heard me. What plan?” You pushed.

“I was going to. I just wanted to take care of you first. Then, I-I’ll explain everything.” Nanami said. His face was flushed and his voice was downcast. He looked so pitiful that you acquiesced. You could wait a few minutes for the truth.

He took great care in bandaging your wrist and taking you down the hall to where your bathroom was so he could help you bathe. When you got there, the bath was full of warm water and soapy suds, courtesy of Gojo. He had even dug out your favorite fluffy bath towel from one of the boxes. You would have never guessed he could follow directions so well.

When Nanami set you down onto the edge of the bath tub, you stared him down, one eyebrow cocked upwards.

“What? You want another free show?” You bit out, annoyed. He grimaced.

“I’ll be outside. Call for me, and I’ll bring you a change of clothes,” he said softly. He walked out and gently closed the door behind him.

With that, you slowly eased yourself into the tub. As the heat penetrated your bones and washed away the sweat and dried cum, it also washed away your anger. You began to feel bad about how you treated Nanami. He’s not the one who got you stuck under the bed, and he’s not the one who fucked you under it either. He’s been really sweet to you the entire time.

Maybe there might be a less shitty explanation to “the plan” than you think. With that thought, you called out for Nanami so he could bring you a change of clothes and maybe then you could apologize for taking your embarrassment and anger out on him. However, you were met with silence.

That’s strange. Nanami usually has impeccable hearing, to the point that it can be unnerving and a little annoying. Wondering what could be holding him, you dried off and wobbled towards the door in your towel, the soreness in your pelvis making itself known after such a rude reintroduction to fucking.

When you opened the bathroom door, you heard voices down the hall. It must’ve been important if neither of them heard you call for Nanami. You exited the bathroom slowly, creeping down the hall to snoop on their conversation. You got there, only to hear a snippet of their conversation.

“Nanami, I don’t think we have anything to worry about. If she hated us, she would’ve called the police—“ Gojo started, but Nanami cut him off.

“Who’s to say she won’t?” Nanami argued.

“You worry too much, Nanami. Forget about your plan. I think she’s already in love with us—“

“I swear to God, if you’ve ruined my chance with the love of my life, I’ll kill you,” Nanami said. You gasped, but it was audible enough for them to hear as the conversation went quiet. You heard Nanami sigh deeply. “You can come out now, sweetheart.”

You came around the corner, face warm and body wrapped in a towel. You find it hard to look them in the eyes.

“Y/N? Can you look at me?” Nanami gently prodded. You tried to meet his eyes, but suddenly the red wine stain in your carpet from three years captivated your attention. Suddenly, Nanami was there kneeling down in front of you and staring into your eyes. His eyes brimmed with unshed tears and the shock of seeing this strong man being brought to tears forced you back.

He didn’t let you get far. He wrapped his arms around your thighs and pulled you towards him, your soft stomach meeting his chin as he looked up at you. His eyes were so full of desperation.

You looked over to Gojo, his arms were crossed and his face was pensive. He refused to meet your eyes. A light blush dusted his cheeks. You were starting to feel a little hopeful.

“Just let us explain,” he started. You nodded. You couldn’t help but to stroke Nanami’s hair. You had never really gotten the chance to do it before now, but you figured that they’d already crossed too many lines and personal boundaries tonight for them to admonish you.

“When Gojo and I met you, you were unlike any other woman we had ever met. At first, it felt great to have someone who only ever wanted friendship from us.” Nanami took a breath, and that’s when Gojo began. He moved off of the couch and towards you.

“But little did we know that your sweet innocence would drive us insane. When we would flirt with you, you wouldn’t notice. We had been stuck squarely in the friend zone.” Gojo said, tone jovial as he stood to your side, close enough that your shoulder touched his chest.

“We? You’re.. both in love with me?”

“That’s the plan I mentioned,” Nanami resumed. “We knew that convincing you to love just one of us would be difficult enough, but both? So I thought of a five-year plan— one that would slowly introduce the idea of maybe you being with the both of us, if you were willing—“

“Instead of, I don’t know, just asking me? I mean, what if I had dated someone else—“ you ignored the dark look they shared with one another and continued. “Or what if I had, I don’t know, missed the signs? Everyone here knows that I am pretty oblivious.”

And you were. You wouldn’t know subtle if it slapped you in the face.

“That’s what I said! But Nanami swore up and down that this extremely convoluted and time-consuming plan was the best way to woo you—“

“Which is ridiculous! Who waits five years to confess?”

“Me.” Nanami said. “I… didn’t want to risk losing you.”

“Oh.” You responded. What else could you say? The usually rigid man had blown you away with his confession.

“I am… in love with you. I cannot speak for Gojo, but I have been since you walked into that classroom my junior year. I have been in love with you at every study session, every work event, every Friday night karaoke session. I have loved you when you were near me and when we were apart.”

He kissed your hand, the one that had been resting on his head, and nuzzled his face into it. He looked at you with such yearning that it was a wonder you could’ve missed him feeling this way about you.

“He’s not the only one,” Gojo interrupted. “I have never felt this way about anyone. I can’t put it into words like him, but I’m in love with you. So much so that I’m willing to share if it means that I’ll get to have even a piece of you.” And for Gojo, a rich kid who has never had to share anything, that meant a lot.

You were stunned. So much has happened in one day. It was hard to process any of it.

Nanami, taking your silence as an indication of how you felt, began to course correct.

“Of course, we understand how you feel. We’d never… never want to hurt you. If you ask us to, we’ll leave—“

“Speak for yourself. I’m never leaving.” Gojo interjected. Nanami shot him an annoyed look before continuing.

“If you ask us to leave, I will drag him away from here and we will leave you alone forever.” His voice trembled slightly but you could tell he meant it, even though he wanted you to say anything else.

“But what if I don’t want you to leave? Either of you?” You questioned, though it was really rhetorical.

Their faces were hilarious. Mouths wide open and eyebrows raised nearly to their hairline, you supposed they expected literally any other outcome.

“Wait, seriously?” Gojo asked, his voice full of awe and disbelief. You nodded and grinned at him.

“I mean I’ve kinda loved you the entire time, but I just never said anything because i didn’t want to make you uncomf—“ you responded, but before you could finish, you were cut off as Nanami pulled you downwards so he could kiss you.

The man could kiss. He kissed like he studied it for four years and earned a diploma. His kiss was domineering and exacting. His mouth moved along with yours in sync, refusing to give you even a moment’s rest. You had to push against his chest for a moment of reprieve.

Which is exactly what you didn’t get, as Gojo pulled you away from Nanami’s embrace into his own. He wasted no time melding his lips with yours, kissing and biting your neck when you mumbled your need for air during the rare moments your lips weren’t touching. His touch was just as overwhelming and invigorating.

Nanami, not to be outdone, kisses and sucks anywhere he can touch, including the place where your shoulder meets your neck. It makes your knees weak and your grip on flimsy towel loosen. It’s only when your towel drops completely that both men pause.

The way Gojo’s eyes darken as they trail down the front of your body makes your pussy clench. However, the soreness has not taken a rain check even though your horniness has made a reappearance. You wince at the pain and that’s something neither of your boys can ignore.

Gojo swiftly bends down to pick up your towel and wrap you a like a burrito. Nanami then picks you bridal style and carries you to your room. You’re a bit mystified as to why. Here you were, naked and vulnerable after confessing your feelings and they just take you to bed? Yeah, you’re sore but they don’t know that. It’s not like you said anything.

You grab Nanami’s tie as he lays you down on top of your bed, that has been magically reassembled and remade (likely the job of Nanami, God bless him), to stop him from leaving so soon.

“So you have me naked and willing and you don’t want me? What gives?” You said, a bit miffed. Nanami groans, and you realize that that sound is probably one of the sexiest sounds known to planet Earth.

“You’ve had a long, hard day. If I were to fuck you right now, you’d have an even longer and harder night ahead of you. I need you to be well-rested, because what I plan to do with you will require you to be at full health.” He explains, voice low and husky.

“We, Nanami. Don’t forget about me,” Gojo chimes in, leaning on the doorway to your room. He makes his way over to you, laying down next you and resting his head on his palm.

“Plus, old boy’s scout honor Nanami over here has little self control when it comes to you. The amount of times I’ve heard him jacking off after one little phone call with you—“

“That’s enough, Gojo.” He ordered, but his face was flaming red. It looked as red as yours felt. “We.. also want you to be sure.” At this, you roll your eyes.

“I’m not going to change my mind, Nanami. I want you both.” Your declaration had Nanami grabbing your face and kissing you passionately and slowly. Only stopping once he’d run out of breath.

“Fuck, I’ll be back in two days. Two days to decide if you really want us, or if you’d rather we disappear out of your life forever,” he whispers, his lips so close they brush yours when he speaks. Gojo finishes his sentence for him.

“Think carefully, because if you say yes to us, we’re never letting you go.”

Two days later

You finished moving into your new apartment, though the boys did all the heavy lifting. Nanami forced Gojo to unpack most of your boxes, so you wouldn’t have to.

Gojo even promised to buy you food for the whole week since you couldn’t cook on account of your “sorely bruised wrist”. In all honesty, it’s not that bad. You just bruise easy. However, that’s not gonna stop you from milking this for all it’s worth.

One, he fucked you without asking first, and while you enjoyed it, you figured he deserved to suffer a little. Plus, he comes from a rich family and has a nice cushy job. Who knows when you’ll get the stingy man to be so generous again? He’ll be fine.

You decided a few weeks ago to request your vacation days for the whole week since you had to move apartments and you wanted time to recover. It came in handy as you needed a couple days for your ability to walk normally to return. Now, you’re waiting for Nanami and Gojo to come over after work.

It had been a couple of days after you shared your feelings and you were ready to see your boys again. Not just because your coochie had recovered either.

Nanami, to ensure that you weren’t being forced into something you didn’t want, made sure that he and Gojo left you alone for the full two days, so you could make a decision without their influence.

To be honest, you missed having them around. Nanami and Gojo had been such a consistent part of your life that to not have them around them made you sad. You missed goofing off and complaining about work with them. It just wasn’t the same without Gojo bothering the hell out of you or Nanami lecturing you both.

However, Nanami had, as promised, given you two days to decide what you wanted. He would be over later to hear your response.

In anticipation for tonight, you decide to shower and throw on something comfy with easy access. Just as you finish getting ready, Nanami sent you a text letting you know that they were both on their way.

Well, you might as well stretch before they come over. Don’t want to pull a muscle after all.

Right after you finished, you heard three sharp knocks on your door in quick succession.

Game time.

You walked over to the door and hesitated before opening it. Are you really ready to do this? If you let them in, it couldn’t ever go back to the way it was. Your luck was usually pretty rotten— that train of thought was interrupted by a series of rapid banging against the door. Gojo, most likely. You rolled your eyes, but a sudden, unexpected rush of affection filled you. Maybe change is good, maybe your luck is changing.

With that thought, you open the door without warning. Gojo sort of stumbles forward, not expecting you to open the door so quickly.

“Oh good, you’re home.” He said with a sigh of relief. You realized that he must’ve been worried about you changing your mind, despite the confidence he had two days prior. The thought made you smile.

“Where else would I be?” You respond coyly. A wide grin takes over his face and he leans down to kiss you, one that’s quick but full of passion. The kiss leaves you a bit dazed but nonetheless pleased.

With that, you look over to Nanami. Fresh off of work, he was still dressed in a suit and tie and looking unsure and uncomfortable, which wouldn’t do at all. So, you reached out for his tie and yanked him down to your level before kissing the life out of him.

“I told you I wouldn’t change my mind,” You said softly. “Come inside.”

Reassured now, you could see his calm facade breaking down bit by bit before it snapped. He swept you up into his arms and walked straight towards your bedroom, kissing you any place he could reach. Gojo was hot on his heels, impatient for his turn.

“I was going to wait. I wanted to take you out, somewhere nice first.” He set you down on the bed, standing in-between your legs as he began to take off his tie. “But you’re so goddamn irresistible. I can’t ever say no to you.”

While he was busy getting undressed, Gojo busied himself undressing you. After a flurry of kisses, you were somehow almost completely naked except for your panties, with no memory of how you had gotten to that point. But before you could ask, Nanami forced your attention back on him.

His shirt and suit jacket were both gone, and his belt unbuckled. He left his pants on for now, but you don’t imagine they’ll be on for long as his bulge looked painfully uncomfortable.

He pushed you back till your back was flat with the mattress, but you lifted your head to see what he was going to do with you. Nanami got down on his knees until he was eye level with your pussy. He leaned forward and breathed in deeply before sucking your clit through the cloth. Not expecting the sensation, you tried to close your legs but Nanami caught one thigh while Gojo stopped the other.

“Say yes.” Nanami commanded. Still preoccupied with the thought of Nanami eating you out through your panties, you found it hard to listen to what he was saying. He slapped the outside of your thigh, forcing you to focus.

“Huh?”

“Say yes. Tell me that you belong to me. To us. I need to hear you say it. Say yes and I’ll make sure that you’ll never feel as good with anyone else. I’ll fulfill every desire you have. But first you have to say it.”

His eyes bore down on you. His gaze was so intense it made you lightheaded but you managed to get it out. “Yeah. I… belong to you, to the both of you.”

You winced, as your voice sounded annoyingly whiney to your own ears, but it only served to make Nanami’s face flush. It was embarrassing to say, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it because Nanami took that moment to rip your panties down the middle before licking a long stripe upwards from your hole to your clit. An action that had you yelping and bucking your hips. Nanami slung his forearm over your stomach before continuing as if your squirming had no effect on what he intended to do.

Gojo distracted you, playing with your nipples and sucking on a certain spot just behind your ear that made you shiver.

“It’s a good thing you know exactly who you belong to. Good girl, ” he whispers into your ear. Between the stimulation between your thighs and the words Gojo was whispering in your ear, you couldn’t help but let out a loud moan as you came. It made both men freeze.

Your hips jerked and your hole repeatedly clenched down around nothing as you came down from your high. It made the orgasm less fulfilling as your brain knew that you had two thick, long dicks your coochie could have wrapped around instead.

When you came back down from your high, you saw two shocked faces staring down at you. It hadn’t been long since they had started, after all. Their prolonged attention made your face fill with warmth.

“S-sorry. It felt really good. I couldn’t help it.”

“Don’t apologize, sweetheart. I quite enjoyed the show.” Nanami said, now over his shock. He grinned, and you could see evidence of how much you enjoyed his lip service all over his mouth and chin. Still feeling a bit listless, you had no other choice but to take that comment and visual head on. The warmth in your face spread your ears and neck. If you got anymore embarrassed you might actually die.

“Yeah, baby. Don’t worry about it. The first one’s free.” This time, you groaned for a different reason. You might be a teensy bit in love with the man, but he’s still corny as hell.

Nanami got up while you were bickering to look for something in the overnight bag he had brought with him.

“You’re still a little sore, is that right? He made you cum so many times, huh sweetheart. I bet you’re still really tired,” he said. His back was turned so you couldn’t see what he was rummaging around in his overnight bag for. You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “I’m going to take care of you. In fact, I won’t let Gojo fuck you tonight at all.”

Gojo spluttered and choked on his drink. “Nanami, c’mon. That’s not fair. We’re a team! You wouldn’t even be here right now if it weren’t for me—“ but he stopped mid protest when Nanami shot him a sharp look. He looked over at your wrist, in the healing stages of a bruise and winced. He might be aloof, but he never wanted to hurt you. At least, not in that way.

Nanami paused, tilting his head in thought. “You know what, Gojo? You’re right, that’s not fair,” he said. Gojo’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and his face held a spark of interest. You gasped, surprised at Nanami’s quick turnaround. He did not disappoint for long. “Climb behind her.”

Gojo, curious at what the other man had in mind, did as he was instructed. He manhandled your body so that your ass was sat firmly against his crotch. He wrapped his arms around your middle and dug his face into your neck, like a child who was unwilling to give up their playtime with their favorite toy. Nanami remained nonplussed.

“I think it’s not enough to just sit this one out. I think you need a front row seat.” He finally revealed what he had been rummaging around for— a small pink egg-shaped vibrator and a glass dildo.

“You lack restraint, so this will be the perfect punishment.” He pushed up his glasses as he smirked, looking like a cat who had gotten the cream. His bold statement left you both reeling, though for different reasons.

Now, why am I in it?” You whined as Gojo once again complained.

“Yeah. It was an accident Nanamin,” he said, elongating the last syllable of Nanami’s name. However, Nanami remained uncaring at Gojo’s pleas.

“An accident that could’ve been avoided had you implemented a bit of restraint, hence the punishment. Be grateful that you just have to sit there and watch instead of having Y/N use these toys on you.”

His statement had once again shaken Gojo into silence, although this time his shock was accompanied by a warm blush creeping up his neck. Goodie for him, you thought to yourself. Gojo had always been a bit careless, but because he grew up rich, money typically solved all of his problems. It was nice that he wouldn’t be able to escape the consequences of his actions this time. You took advantage of his embarrassment to plead your own case.

“I understand why you’re punishing Gojo, but why am I involved? I haven’t done anything wrong!”

“Other than consistently get yourself into tricky, sometimes downright dangerous situations on account of what seems to be your natural born affinity to trouble?” He rattled off, leaving you hot and incensed. Gojo, recovering from his own embarrassment, snickered at your expense. You elbowed him and he expelled an oof of air.

“No, you haven’t. But the punishment wasn’t intended for you anyways. No, all I need you to do is lean back and take what I give you.” You did as he asked, leaning back into Gojo’s embrace, but not without a grumble or two.

“What happened to not cumming too much? What about restraint?” You huffed. Nanami stared intensely at you over the rim of his glasses while smirking. He sensually rubbed up and down your calf before responding.

“I won’t make you cum over and over, I promise. I just want to make you feel good.” He rearranged himself on the bed, once again becoming eye level with your pussy. He kisses up your right inner thigh, then left before dragging his flat tongue across your slit. Still being a bit oversensitive, you jerked yourself further up Gojo’s lap, the friction causing him to moan. Nanami grimaced, irritated with the new distance between you and him. Gojo, never one to resist teasing anyone, least of all you and Nanami, couldn’t help but comment.

“You know, she had the same problem with me. She’s really sensitive—”

“Gojo.”

“Hmm?”

“Hold her open. Don’t let her run away.”

“Aye aye, Cap’n.”

A while later

“Please, I can’t. It’s too—“ you were cutoff abruptly as Nanami held the whirring toy directly on your clit, forcing a squeal out of you. His demeanor never changed, though his face was flush with desire.

It had been forever since Nanami has pressed that stupid little egg to your clit and you’re starting to regret complaining about cumming too much because Nanami had not let you come once so far.

“Y’know, first you beg not to cum and then you change your mind. What do you want from us?” Gojo questioned, tone bored. You’d think he was genuinely annoyed at you if it hadn’t been for his hard erection digging into the small of your back or the way he gripped your wrists together an effort to keep you still and pliant as he and his partner in crime did whatever they wanted with you.

“I don’t know,” you whined. “Please just, just…” you trailed off as you felt yourself creeping towards the edge of an orgasm. Nanami, who had been steadily torturing you with a vibrator, moved it just off to the side of your clit instead of direct contact.

“It seems like you don’t know what you want, sweetheart. That’s okay, because I know exactly what you need.”

The sight of your orgasm dances out of your reach once again, causing frustrated tears to well up in your eyes. Nanami laughed a little, which irked you. You’d kick him if Gojo wasn’t firmly holding your knees apart with his own. He’s so mean. You decided to tell him as much when you got the chance to breathe again. He only cooed at you, and his deep voice made your clit throb. It pissed you off that he could turn you on even when he was being an asshole.

The jerk.

You should’ve listened to your mother. Birds of a feather always flock together. Him and Gojo really do deserve each other.

Suddenly, Nanami leaned back, resting his but on his heels. His eyes were dark as he considered both you and Gojo together.

“You want to get back at Gojo, sweetheart?”

Both Gojo and you snap your head towards Nanami. You’re definitely more than interested, but you can tell after one brief look at Gojo that he isn’t.

“Maybe you’re not so bad after all,” You said.

“What?” Nanami responded, eyebrow raised.

“Nothing! So uh, what did you have in mind?” You brush off, hoping he’ll let it go.

“We’ll talk about that later.”

Damn.

Gojo giggles at your misfortune but not for long.

“Let’s play a game. Y/N you’ll try to make Gojo cum while I’ll do the same to you,” he said. “If you come first, then Gojo will fuck you tonight, but if he comes first, then he doesn’t get to come at all for the next week.”

“Hey Nanami, you didn’t even ask for my permission—“

“What, like you asked for Y/N’s? It’s time you learn how to be a team player, Gojo.” Nanami lectured and Gojo looks annoyed but determined. You can’t help but grin.

This is gonna be like taking candy from a baby.

——

You were wrong. It was only like taking candy from a baby if the baby had the grip strength of a fucking Orangutan. At first, you thought it’d be easy. You had been teasing him the entire time with your ass rubbing up against his cock. And so all you had to do was make him come. Easy enough.

They had called you a throat goat back in the day, and you had made plenty of men cum quick enough to shatter their pride. But you had forgotten a few things:

1. Nanami was trying to make you cum at the same time. He is very good at what he does, and he is not a merciful man.

2. You are bad at multitasking.

3. Gojo is very, very good at winning. Or, at the very least, not losing.

Thus, when you began blowing Gojo, you started off strong. You wasted no time in licking and kissing him all over, sucking one of his balls and then the other before making your way to his tip. You gave it a nice, sloppy kiss before trying to deep throat him all in one go. You failed, but the gagging did nothing but turn him on more.

He was not immune to your charms. With each kiss, nibble, or suck, he whined or jerked his hips. But when you finally managed to take him all the way to the hilt, that’s when he lost it. He was writhing and whimpering, a few stray tears falling from his eyes. He looked pathetic. Pitiful even. If you were normal, maybe you would’ve cut him some slack. It’s a shame that him looking like that turned you on.

He choked you every time his hips bucked upwards. You had to stop deep throating him because the man was clearly trying to kill you, but it didn’t stop you one bit. You switched gears, vigorously giving him a handjob while reaching for your trusty vibrator. You saw fear in his eyes, and felt victory in your veins.

But then, just as you were about to place the vibrator to his tip, you felt a sudden pressure at your back door and it made you lose focus. You looked over your shoulder to see Nanami pressing one, then two lubed up fingers in your ass.

“Don’t worry, my love. I won’t hurt you. Just focus on what you have to do.” Nanami said sweetly.

It made you shudder and whine. Your handjob became sloppy and you dropped your vibrator to close to the edge of the mattress, leaving it to roll off the side of the bed. Gojo had calmed a little, and now he looked focused.

Shit. You can’t let him win—

Nanami had replaced his fingers with that glass dildo from earlier. The slow but firm insistent push inside has you keening. The lube on the toy made entry smooth. It felt almost impossible to breathe, much less continue giving Gojo a handjob. Still, mama ain’t raise no quitter.

You reached out and started sucking on the tip. It was red and engorged. You made sure to put your tongue to work, paying special attention to his frenulum. He groaned, deep and guttural, before breaking off into gasps and broken breaths. He eyes were squeezed shut, and if you could get any words out to make him look at you, you were sure you could win.

But Nanami was unforgiving and persistent. The slow, firm way he kept fucking you with the dildo was making the waves of an orgasm come closer and closer to your shore. He kept a steady rhythm and it propelled you towards your big O. Luckily, Gojo seemed to be on the precipice of his orgasm as well. It was a race to see who could hold out the longest.

With each breath, both you and Gojo got closer and closer until you came together. Disappointment filled your faces and Nanami couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Cheer up. This just means that we’re back at where we started. Well, plus an orgasm.” He nudged the dildo deep inside you, causing you to jerk away from him. You couldn’t help but wonder if he had planned it out this way. That he could play your ass uninterrupted while you were busy with Gojo.

He tries to turn you over to lay on your back, but the fullness in your ass makes you cry out.

“Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart. I should be more considerate. Here—“ he guides you to lay on your stomach again and rubs your booty to calm you down. “Gojo, why don’t you give our girl something soft to lay on?”

Gojo smiles and pulls you up till your face is resting on his thigh right next to his dick.

“What’s more comfortable than my lap?”

“A pillow,” You quipped. With a roll of his eyes, he grabbed a thin pillow and laid it flat over his lap for your comfort. “Thank you.”

“No problem, princess.”

Nanami booty rub moved closer and closer to your second set of lips, until his thumbs were ghosting over them.

“Are you ready for me sweetheart? I know I’ve made you wait a long time.” He began rubbing your clit, and the sensation made you clench around the dildo still in your ass. You twitched as your breath caught in your throat. “Let me inside.”

“Okay,” you whined. You looked over your shoulder again to watch him.

He pulled down his pants and underwear in one swift move, his hard cock bouncing and hitting his lower stomach. Before you could take in the sight, Nanami slowly started to push it in, his fat head causing an uncomfortable stretch, even with all the prep he’s done up till now. Whereas Gojo had been long and girthy, Nanami is even girthier. You thought Gojo had been hard to take, but now Nanami was bullying his way into you. It was slow and all-encompassing. You couldn’t help but yell out.

“G-Gojo, help me—“ You pulled yourself forwards, but neither of them let you make any real headway. Nanami followed, not letting you escape even a little. Gojo kept a firm grip on your hands, not letting you wriggle away.

“Of course baby, I’ll help you,” he said. He tilted your head towards him. He kissed you. It wasn’t quick or rough. It slow and full of passion. He wouldn’t let you break away, even for a breath. He only stopped when you gasped after Nanami had bottomed out. A cacophony of moans and whines broke out from all three of you. Though only Nanami was inside you, Gojo looked as if he had bottomed out too. It was hedonistic and made you even hornier, if that’s possible.

Your eyebrows were scrunched and your mouth was forced into an O-shape. Nanami was kind enough to give you time to adjust. Gojo kept your eyes on him. Once your vision focused, you noticed his intense gaze. He looked… obsessed.

“I hope you know you’re never leaving us. Nanami might let you think you have a choice, but you don’t. If you wanted someone else, you should’ve never said yes to us fucking you. If you run, we’ll find you. We’ll drag you right back to where you belong. With us.”

He laughed, but in a way that made him seem... a little crazy. You’re starting to think he might be serious. What he said sent shivers down your spine and you couldn’t help but clamp down around Nanami. He let out a choked sound.

You looked in his direction and was shocked by what you saw. The man had never looked so debased. A red flush crept up from his chest all the way to his cheeks. His eyes were dark and his half-lidded expression were enough to seduce a nun. You wanted more. You couldn’t help but clench around him again. He growled out of frustration.

“Please tell me I can move, sweetheart. I don’t want to hurt you, but I’m being driven insane.”

You believed him. His normally upright posture was slumped and he was breathing as if he had just ran a marathon.

“Y-you can move. I’m ready.”

Once you gave him permission, he pulled out almost all the way before ramming back into you. The momentum of it jerked your whole body forward and you keened. He kept going with that same punishing force. No matter how many times you whined or your legs shook, he kept going. He was done with the games. He just wanted you.

Gojo watched him fuck you intently. You felt his dick harden under the pillow, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of his memories fucking you or just because Nanami was relentless.

You were already close, and it had only been a few minutes. You couldn’t help it, the man was good at what he did and the dildo he had inserted inside of you didn’t help matters.

“Goddamn, Y/N. Fuck. I’m never, never leaving this pussy. It’s so good,” he muttered to himself. His utterances only pushed you to your own orgasm, making your pussy clench down hard around his dick. He had no choice but to come inside. Ropes and ropes of cum, and he kept fucking it into you.

He didn’t stop fucking into you, even after he had finished. You looked over your shoulder to see him mesmerized at the sight of his cock moving in and out of you. You whimpered and weakly kicked at him. He stared at you and for a moment it seemed like he didn’t want to stop, but then he slowly pulled out of you.

“I’m sorry, I should be nicer when it’s your first time.” He removed the dildo slowly and carefully before laying you down on your back. He leaned down to kiss you gently. “I think it’s time to get you cleaned up.”

Gojo stopped him before he could move. “If cleanup is what she needs, let me help. I’ll be very gentle.” He looked to you for permission and you nodded hesitantly. He’s been known to go overboard.

He picked you up and maneuvered you over his face. He did just as he said and licked and sucked you clean. He took his time so as not to overstimulate you further, though he did let out a few stray moans that sent vibrations straight to your clit. His warm mouth felt oddly nice on your raw bits. Once he was done he softly set you off to the side, just in time for Nanami to bring waters and snacks. After eating something, you were drowsy and ready for bed.

“Don’t you want to take a bath?” Nanami questioned, voice deep and soothing.

“What I want—“ you yawned before you could finish your thought. “What I want is for you two to get in bed with me so we can go to sleep.”

Gojo and Nanami briefly looked at each other before doing as you asked. They could always get up in a few hours and take better care of you then. Nanami threw the soiled comforter to the ground while Gojo placed you under the thin sheet. Both men picked a side, leaving you squarely in the middle, but you didn’t mind.

“Good night, Satoru. Good night Kento.” With that, you drifted off to sleep. You didn’t see how much using their first names affected them.

“I can’t believe she used our first names! She never does that,” Gojo said, his voice full of affection.

“Yeah,” Nanami agreed before kissing your temple.

“So… dibs when we wake up?”

“Gojo, go to sleep.”

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#29: Never Seen Your Face Like That (S5E12)

I love that Rick and Michonne low-key tell on themselves in this scene lol. I can’t help but smile and laugh when watching this exchange cuz the attraction between them is BLATANT. Let me tell you, these two find each other hot and it’s clear as day lol. And it’s cute seeing them both try to be casual with it but not being able to resist reacting to each other with obvious attraction. Their pre-canon era was a time. 😋 It’s like this dance to keep things appearing 'platonic,' when they’re clearly feeling so much more...

At the start of the scene we see all of tf in this quiet moment, and then we hear Michonne’s satisfied sigh as she joins her family with a refreshed smile. Interestingly, she does not seem to be getting red flags about ASZ, whereas others are more on edge - which is understandable for them but also goes to show why Michonne’s gut instinct can always be trusted.

She asks how long she was in there for - and it seems rhetorical, but my sweet man Rick is going to tell on himself by giving an exact answer lol. I love that he’s the one to respond and that he doesn’t just say “a while” or a general answer. No - this man says “20 minutes.” She’s on his radar always. And it’s cute that this scene between them starts with talk of toothbrushes because we know how much "dental hygiene" will bless us in season 6. 😏

Michonne says she couldn’t stop brushing as Rick walks into frame, which I’ve always found cute cuz he knows this is the big reveal where she gets to see his clean-shaven face for the first time, especially after her whole “your face is losing the war” comments from s4.

I love that Sis literally has to pause as she notices his face. Who can blame her? And I always really appreciate that Rick actually let’s the moment breathe for a sec as she takes in his new look. We see later how he reacts when Deanna notices his face and says 'wow.' He’s much more dismissive or not wanting that attention on him - but with Michonne, he seems in a bashful way to really want her to see him and to like what she sees as he positions himself in better lighting with a slight smile.

And Michonne most definitely likes what she sees. Y’all, the way she is looking at him - He’s fine fine to her.  Like I've said before, from both of them, even during their best friends phase it was always giving 'that’s my hot best friend,' make no mistake. 

Michonne says this 'huh' that almost seems to slip out before her mind can filter, and that 'huh' suggests she certainly has some positive thoughts on Rick's new look.

I will forever love the way Danai delivers the line, “I’ve never, I’ve never seen your face like that.” It has that dash of smitten flirtiness that is just so adorable. And Michonne’s smile. 😊 The best. Her face says it all. It makes it loud and clear that she likes his new look a lot, and I love that she also vocally reacts to it.

Even just the pause between saying she’s never, she’s never seen his face like that. He got her a little flustered, and I’m here for it. No one but Rick Grimes is getting Michonne, queen of composure, smitten like this. 😋

And then Rick says how he felt the same way before and after as he walks in her direction and I think tries to idk play off all the attraction that’s being emitted from the two of them, but like it can’t ever be denied or downplayed.

(Side note: I know some of tf had to be up in this living room seeing Rick and Michonne reacting to each other like this and thinking...

And I just like that it’s clear what Michonne thinks of his face matters to him. Everything about her and what she thinks matters to Rick, as not just his bestie but as something more too. 

(Also, tell me it's not just me who will see pre-canon scenes like this one and just stop to take a moment to marvel at the fact that these two went on to have a baby together. It never fails to bring me joy. 🤗)

And what Rick thinks also matters to Michonne, cuz she stops him and tells him she gets why they’re playing it safe and “we should,” which lets you know that no matter how much she wants this place to work, she’s with Rick first and foremost. But she has a good feeling about this place, because Michonne is always right. And considering this place will be where she and him finally have room to build a home, rediscover their humanity, enjoy their romance, and expand their family - she was definitely right to have a good feeling about this place. 👌🏽

Rick responds saying he hopes Michonne is right, which again cements how a huge reason all of them are even at ASZ is because Rick wanted to give Michonne’s way a chance. He’s still in many ways going off of her gut over his own, and I love that he trusts her that much to do that and wants her to be right. That’s a special influence reserved just for her. And Michonne responds "yeah, me too" cuz she also knows how it was her push to go here that led them here.

Watching this whole scene back - this is such a couple-y moment between them. If you would have told me this was post-canon I’d believe you because this whole scene was giving couple.  Like every second was saying...

The Deanna moment comes directly after this scene between Rick and Michonne and it’s this immediate contrast between how Rick reacts to Michonne noticing his face and the groan he gives Deanna when she notices.

I also like that Deanna drops her first hint that she’s a Richonner when she tells Rick she’s given him a job she just hasn’t told him yet, “same with Michonne.” As I've said before, I’ll always love how Deanna, renowned for getting a good read on people, immediately saw the similarities and partnership of Rick and Michonne and paired them together in the same job. She knew they go together. (Also the scene ends with Deanna telling Rick he looks good, which again is another sign she has good judgment lol. 💁🏽‍♀️)

I love how often Richonne would have these Richonne bubble moments in front of all tf in s5. Like it occurs quite a bit cuz they can’t help it. And this is one of those pre-canon scenes where you just know these two are destined to become a couple. Because Rick and Michonne love and trust each other, but also really want and desire each other too. 😌

[sirdindjarin]

Shelter - Joel Miller x Reader (Part Two)

Your easy emotions wreak havoc on Joel, and so do the people you two encounter... good thing you're there to help him.

In which our intrepid hero deals with some shit. And some 👉👌.

Masterlist ->

AO3 Link♥

RATING: Explicit. SEXUAL CONTENT: Consensual P in V, Choking Kink, Attempted Rape (not by Joel). VIOLENCE: Gore, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Death of an Animal (Deer Hunting).

TAGS: Joel Being Absolutely Whipped and Filthy-Mouthed, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Age Gap.

WC: 13k

As Joel steps through the doorway of the mom-and-pop furniture store, the glow of the gas lantern he’d found earlier is a beacon.

He rounds the edge of a gigantic, cheaply-made chest of drawers to see you asleep. The glow of the lantern casts amber light over your face. Your hair is strung across your cheek and Joel crushes a wild urge to crouch and brush it all away. He glances to the left and his heart stops for a moment when he realizes Ellie is sitting up, watching him.

“You found something,” she declares without hostility.

These girls’re too observant for me. Joel lets the silence hang for a moment before deciding how to reply. 

“I’m gonna talk to your sister in the mornin'.” 

“Yeah, I saw you talkin’ earlier,” she snickers, then levels him with a glare. “You better be careful. I’ve got no problem killing you myself.”

He doesn't grace that with a response.

“I notice everything. I like you, Joel, but I love my sister.” Ellie shrugs dramatically, “I’m just sayin’. I’m on her side if you pull some shit.”

“I’d expect nothin’ less, kid.” Joel’s voice strains as he lowers himself down onto the sleeping bag you’d laid out for him. He wishes you hadn’t. 

Ellie shifts her attention back to her book (a new one you’d found and given to her called Nancy Drew) while Joel shuffles down into his bed. 

Joel lets the faint lull of the ocean carry away his stress for the night. His eyes close but he feels the desire to look at you, just a couple of yards away. He denies the desire, squeezing his eyes tighter, and focuses instead on what he can hear. A page turns. The wind's howl over the building. The sound of your steady, peaceful breath traps his attention, and he soon drifts away.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“And how do you know it’s legitimate?” You press him.

Joel sets his hands on his hips. “I know my brother's writing.” 

You chew your lip. Like Joel, the day is much colder than yesterday. 

“That’s a long walk."

“That’s why I’m givin’ y’all the choice,” Joel explains. “Same deal as last time.” 

Your eyes twinkle as you ask, “Ah. You’re only trying to hold up your end of the deal?”

But Joel’s desperate to keep himself from falling for your charm like he had the previous evening. Instead of rejoining with a witty comment, he simply says: 

“Yeah.” 

Taken slightly aback by his mood, you’re quiet. Then you turn to Ellie. “What do you want to do? If you’d rather stay here, look around this area more…” you trail off, waiting for her opinion.

Ellie’s eyes dart to Joel before answering. “I mean, I’ve never seen that far north. And we should make Joel keep his promises.” 

Joel can’t help but make a pfft noise at that. 

“Do you want us to come with you?” You ask him point-blank. It’s that simple for you.

And he can’t answer that. Yes, he did; and no, he didn’t. Yes, he wants the two of you to come with him. But no, he didn’t need the weakness of his growing attachment to both of you. It isn’t that simple for him, and he bristles when you try to make it so.

He raises and lowers his shoulders in a half-hearted motion. “If you come, you can always leave, but if you stay here for now, you’ll prob’ly never find it.” 

Your shoulders sag at the deflection, but you’re not surprised. It had been out of character for him to have gotten so close to you last night, so it should come as no surprise when he returns to his regular, shut-everyone-out attitude. 

“Okay. Good point. Ellie, if you’re not interested in staying here, that’s all I care about.” 

“It’s fucking nice here. It’s so cool. But I miss people. Decent, normal people.” Ellie cuts to the chase, and you ruffle the ends of her ponytail fondly. “All we got is Joel,” she digs at him with a sly look. 

“You’re somethin’ else, kid,” Joel scoffs. “Alright, we’ll set out tomorrow. Spend today gathering supplies.” 

“I’ll make a list,” you offer.

 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That evening, as you say your goodbye to the ocean, you stand on a jetty hugging yourself. It’s the hour of sunset, and you’ve never seen a more beautiful one. 

Sunbeams paint the clouds violet, gold, pink, and red. Some clouds in the distance are a heavy gray, pregnant with the storm that will come in the night. The sky behind is a deep blue. And, though none fall, you’re unembarrassed by the tears that well in your eyes. 

Your parents never saw the sea. You may never see it again after tomorrow morning. Loss in the face of such grandeur feels more poignant. 

Joel stands beside a sand dune, lost in thought once again. How do you maintain the capacity to feel so much and keep getting up every day? He’d spent the last eight years in a cloud of violence, alcohol, and occasionally something heavier. He couldn’t find it in him to care about himself half of the time, let alone a fucking sunset. 

Frustrated at his fascination with you, he turns his back to finish preparing for the long walk to come.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Over a week later, the three of you cross the western edge of the state. The slog through the lowlands had been made easier by the discovery of a working pickup truck two days earlier. It had to have been used by someone recently, though no one had been at the rural home when you’d boosted it. 

It was old, and the gas gauge perpetually stated it was on E, so Joel siphoned gas every two hours. Because of this, it was necessary to take the interstate or other, passable roads with vehicles laying around like miniature gas stations. 

The days spent walking had been hell. There had been no breeze, and the weather had been so mild as to have the three of you sweating under your clothes. You’d had to remove everything but your jeans and your dirty tank top. 

Joel hated that. He’d have fought the weather if he could.

He’d been outright rude to you several times. Cutting over you when you spoke, or intentionally asking Ellie a question that you should’ve been asked. Then, sometimes he would slip up. You caught him staring at you, your chest, or your hips. Each time he was caught, he’d withdraw sullenly until Ellie annoyed him with a terrible pun. 

He was also caring.

Separately, and more than once, you and Ellie had woken up with his jacket draped over your sleeping form. He answered some of Ellie’s prying questions (“What did you do for work?” “Now or before?” “Both, I guess.” “I was a contractor. After it all went to shit, I transported… contraband.”) without much fuss.

He often kept watch with Ellie, telling her the odd short, humorous story from his distant past. He never told her about his family, nor details on his life after the outbreak.

The first time you'd woken up to Joel's heavy, pleasantly musky jacket across your body, it was like he had cursed you. Your eyes trailed him the entire day as his powerful stride pushed him forward, the lazy confidence of his hand resting on his gun. You watched his throat and the hook of his nose as he took a drink of water, unbelievably parched yourself. 

Then he caught you. His eyes, unwilling to see what was flashing neon in your own, tore through you. He refused to give in, but daily he made it worse.

To the unending amusement of both of you, he even delivered the punchline to Ellie’s first joke of the day once. Unpredictable motherfucker, you frequently cursed at him in your mind. 

Today, the atmosphere in the cab is stiff - at least between you and Joel - and no one had spoken in over an hour. You knew Joel wouldn’t be the one to break the silence, and you’re unsurprised by the one who does.

“Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?” Ellie asks.

At the odd question, you turn your body to look at her in the backseat, but she’s hidden behind her joke book. Oh, you realize. “Hmm, I don’t know. Why?”

“The answer is: ‘Because his wife died.’” Ellie lowers the book and frowns. “I don’t get it.” 

Joel chokingly laughs. It’s so unexpected that you and Ellie stare at him for several seconds.

“He comes in a bottle.” Joel chuckles again and looks at you pointedly. 

“Oh.” You cover your mouth and snicker. “Oh.” You sit back in your seat, your cheeks red.

“No, no! Don’t do that - what am I missing?” Ellie yells. She returns her eyes to the page as if the context will appear. Somehow, it does. 

“Oh, my god. I get it. I wasn’t expecting a dirty joke; that’s the first one in here.” She muses.

“Thank fuck,” you comment. 

The tension between you and Joel had been nearly unbearable, and the slips in his emotional unavailability were driving you insane. Avoiding thinking about… that… was the only way you’d survived being stuck in this enclosed space with him.

“There’s a whole section of them,” Ellie says with awe.

You whirl around to try and snatch the book from her, but she’s faster. She holds the book out of your reach, your seatbelt locking you in place.

“Ellie, give me that.” 

“Why?” 

“Let her keep it,” Joel interjects. 

Ellie looks at the back of his head like he’d grown an extra one.

You ignore him. “Ellie, for fuck’s sake, at least skip the dirty jokes.” Your imploring eyes tell her what she needs to know: Don’t make this more awkward for me than it already is.

“Okay, okay, chill the hell out.” She rolls her eyes and sighs at you as only a teenager can. Then she motions at you, then Joel, then you again.

“I know,” you groan.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Joel’s an attractive driver. It’s an odd thing to think, but you can’t help it. He casually holds the wheel with his left hand while his right elbow braces on the center console. Occasionally his obscenely thick fingers stroke the scruff on his face. You wish he wouldn’t.

“Hey, we’re not far from that house with the chickens are we?” You observe as the rolling hills flow by.

“Think it’s about a half-hour that way,” Joel indicates out your window. His hand crosses into your personal space, flustering you. “I doubt the ones we left alive are alive anymore.” 

“Yeah - no, I was just wondering. That was good meat, though. What a waste.” It had been so long since you’d had chicken, you’d forgotten how delicious it was. 

The day you met him, Joel had killed a couple and cooked the meat that night and the next day. Unfortunately, you’d had no way to transport chicken - live or dead. It wasn’t lost on you, however, that Joel used the word “we” when he had been the one to kill, clean, and cook it. 

Ellie breaks the silence again. “Hey, Joel.”

He hums questioningly.

“What’s your last name?”

He responds with automatic promptness, “Miller.” 

Ellie contemplates. “Joel Miller. Sounds good, I like it.” 

Joel Miller. It does sound good. Everything about him is so attractive, I hate it, you complain petulantly. Why couldn’t he have been ugly?

As the truck crests the hill, a huge valley opens up through the windshield. A loud boom! shudders through the car. Joel clamps onto the steering wheel with both hands, keeping control of the vehicle until the power steering gives out. Fish-tailing onto the shoulder and down into the grassy ditch, the car comes to a jolting stop halfway down the mountain. 

“Ellie, y’okay?” Joel spits out the question faster than your mouth opens to ask the same thing. 

“Yeah. What the fuck, man?” It’s rhetorical.

Joel’s alarmed eyes rake you over, “You alright?”

“I’m good. What happened?” 

“Think the tire blew.” He slams his hand on the steering wheel, “Fuck.”

“Great.” You peek out the window and notice the sun’s position. “It’s going down. I don’t think we should stay in the car tonight.”

Joel grunts in agreement and ducks to look in the rearview mirror. “Those rocks should be safe.” 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

In the blackness of the evening, the three of you lay in a triangle formation upon a large shelf of a limestone cliff. The cliff vaults up to your right, and down to the left. The view of the valley had been beautiful during sunset, but for once you had been too stressed to notice.

You lie on your sleeping bag, Ellie’s head at your foot. Joel lies with his head near yours. Concentrating on either fixing the car or abandoning it consumes you to a point that you don’t notice when Ellie starts snoring. Nor do you notice when Joel moves his bag closer to you.

“What're you thinkin' about?” 

“Joel- what the hell," startled from your spiral of anxiety, you jump. "Sorry. Just lost in thought.” 

“I can tell.”

Your head turns sharply, and you squint at him in the darkness, trying to determine what his goal was. “What’s that mean?” 

“You didn’t say anything about the view from up here. Just wonderin' what you’re worryin’ about.” 

Oh. He noticed that? You blush, thankful for the cover of night. 

“Oh. Well,” you fully roll over to face him. His head is propped on his hand, and his silhouette is all you can see. “I’m worried about walking so far. Or trying to find a tire. I’m pissed off about the pain in my arm. I’m worried about Ellie.” Your voice fades to a mutter, “I’m worried about- about you.” 

It’s quiet for a beat too long. “Why about me?”

“I -” you’re not sure how to say what you want, so you settle for the basics. “You’re unpredictable. I feel like one day we’ll wake up and you’ll be gone. And even though Ellie and I were on our own for so long before, it’s been…” you look for an appropriate word, “It’s been helpful having another adult I can count on.”

And here it was for Joel. He wasn’t stupid. You’re skirting around telling him that both you and Ellie have grown fond of him. He didn’t want that.

No, that isn’t true. The truth is he shouldn’t want it. 

Joel doesn’t answer. 

The natural sounds of the night replace your conversation. It’s so still, so quiet. You lay your head down and curl into a comfortable position facing the man. 

You hadn’t expected him to respond. He’d accidentally shown you cracks in his armor by parenting Ellie occasionally, helping with a task that should’ve been yours or Ellie’s alone like keeping watch or preparing dinner, and laughing.

For fuck’s sake, laughing with us - but still he kept the armor.

Sleep has taken you when Joel quickly pushes a lock of hair over your shoulder and states,

“‘m not goin' anywhere.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The sound of rubber rolling on pavement is the background to Ellie’s unceasing chatter. The bright sunshine feeds her mood as though she survives on photosynthesis. She’d left her joke book at the campsite, but she jabbers on about nothing and everything. After trekking for an hour, you managed to find a tire that Joel agreed should fit the truck. If it could shorten your cross-country trip by even a day, it was worth the effort.

Joel hunches over the tire, rolling it back up the highway. His backpack and gun sway with his movements. The awkward angle and the added weight of his gear have his brow dripping sweat. 

“So, what if it’s really snowy up there? Will we get frostbite? What if we find a moose - do those still exist? Aren’t they like the size of a house?” Ellie’s exuberance couldn’t be stopped.

“Joel, please…” you murmur as you jog up alongside him. You slip your fingers under the strap of his rifle, trying to relieve him of at least one burden. Joel abruptly straightens at the contact, leveling you with a questioning look. Your lips twist into a reassuring smile. You curl your fingers tighter and tug the strap down his arm. 

“I’ll take the backpack, too.” You keep your voice gentle as though you’re trying not to spook him. He allows you to take the gun but jerks away when you reach for his backpack strap.

“No, it’s heavy. I don’t want you takin’ both.”

“I know it’s heavy, that’s why I’m trying to take it from you.” 

The gun is slipped from you as Ellie brushes your side. You’d been too focused on Joel to realize that she’d stopped thinking aloud.

“Now she can take the backpack, ya stubborn old man.” Ellie slings the rifle and stalks ahead. 

A bead of sweat falls from his temple; he’s defeated. With a groan, he shrugs off his pack and holds it up for you. 

“If it gets too heav-”

“Stop pretending to be a gentleman,” you reach for the bag. 

Your fingers close partially around Joel’s, rewarding you with the sultriness of his rough fingers. For an extended breath, Joel doesn’t let go; he squeezes it a little harder. Eventually, he unclasps his hand, allowing you to bear the weight.

A couple of miles later, the silver truck is visible among the trees. You quicken your step.

 Joel's gotta roll the tire up that hill.

“Can I help you carry it somehow? Rolling it up this isn’t gonna be fun,” you offer.

Joel simply shakes his head, breathing deeply in resignation. He lifts it, grunting, deciding to carry it the last length. You’re glad he denied your offer because, wow, why is that so hot? You stare after him for far too long.

At the top of the hill, a younger blonde man peeks in the truck's window. Ellie hands Joel's gun back to him, then, as you taught her, she circles into the trees out of sight. 

"Howdy," the man straightens and calls out to you and Joel. "Got any ammo?" 

Joel has his gun pointed at the man before he finishes speaking.

"No."

Deciding that Joel wasn't the best negotiator, you step ahead.

"Are you looking to trade or to steal?" You step cautiously closer and the blonde man gets a better look at you. 

"Well, shit, I would've put on my two-day old clothes instead of my week-old ones if I'd known I'd run into you."

"You know this guy?" Joel snaps at your back.

"No?" His tone confuses you. Then to the trader, "Whatcha looking for?"

"I need some nine-millimeter, preferably. Shouldn't be too much of an ask since they're the most common. I do have some food up for trade." He holds up a large, navy duffle bag.

It was obvious to you that this man was used to his good looks and charm winning him points. He was slightly older than you, and you couldn't lie, this guy must've done well for himself in the apocalypse. He looked healthy, attractive, and normal.

The man continues, "I'm Zach. You show me yours and I'll show you mine?" He grins, but it fades fast. "Just tell the attack dog to calm down." 

Attack dog? 

You turn to catch a look at Joel: he stands with his gun pointed casually and coldly in Zach's general direction. You've never seen such an intimidating, contemptuous look on his handsome face. A shiver runs through you. Your poorly-timed attraction to him heightens. A tumult of terrible things you want him to do to you crash through your mind.

"Are you okay?" You quietly ensure.

Joel gives a curt nod, never taking his eyes from the younger man.

You face the trader. "Sorry, we don't have any nine-millimeter. We don't have anything to trade, really." 

"Ah, that's fine. There's another group around this area. Maybe I'll try them." 

"A group?" You query, your voice rising in concern.

"Yeah, you ain't seen anyone, sweetheart? There's a whole community of farmers. Rumor is they have chickens."

"Oh," you stutter. "Wow, chickens." 

"Yeah. Supposed to be a lot of folks, so I guess that'll be my next try." 

Zach looks you up and down, a genuine smile gracing his clean-cut face.

"You sure you don't wanna take a day trip with me? Take you to see some chickens? I'm sure your dad won't mind?" The winsome younger man cocks his head at Joel as if asking permission.

In the span of a second, Joel is a brick wall in front of you. He raises his rifle, his scope trained on the man's chest.

"If you don't get the fuck outta here, I'll give you those bullets you're beggin' around for." 

The barely-restrained anger in his voice involuntarily has you leaning closer to him. He sounded like he was speaking to a deadly threat, and you instinctively crave his protection. Your heart races, wondering what spooked Joel. 

Zach throws up his hands, "Fuck, man. Okay. I can't hit on her? Sheezus." 

He starts back up over the hill, throwing worried looks every now and then, seemingly terrified that Joel will act on his inexplicably violent mood. 

When he's gone, Ellie comes popping out from behind a tree.

"Damn, Joel, you made that guy piss his pants," she approves.

"What happened?"

The intense belief in your eyes that Joel had been morally right in that situation almost bothers him. He'd threatened the kid because the kid threatened him. Joel can't put rational words to it, but you're his… responsibility. 

"Had a forty-five on him. Not a nine-millimeter," Joel lies. 

"Wow, you could tell that?" Ellie's face glows. "That's impressive as shit. Teach me the difference? And how to shoot?" 

Knowing damn well that Joel had never seen any weapon on the guy, you tell your excited younger sister, "He will, El, but first he's gotta change the tire and get us going again." 

Joel rubs his jaw, sure you saw through him. “Actually, might be good to go hunting here where the woods’re thicker. And I'd gotta go before dark.” 

"I'll go with you," you don't let him squirm away. "Ellie, you know the drill. Keep an extra eye out while that guy's around. I think he's-" You wanted to say harmless, but realized that would undermine Joel's actions.

"I think he's gone; but just in case," you hand her your rifle. 

Ellie looks from butt to barrel with awed respect. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"So, what the hell was that about?" You interrogate Joel once the two of you are a fair distance into the woods. 

"Nothin'," is Joel's forthcoming reply.

"Joel, for the love of-" you grab his shoulder and spin him to face you. "What set you off?" 

Joel works his jaw, looking away from you, then meets your eyes with a faintly-playful tilt of his head. 

"He called me old." Joel's face is impassive.

You fight a smirk. "Are you being serious? Ellie calls you old all the time." 

"He was annoyin' me." 

"I annoy you."

"I know, you're doin' it right now." 

Sighing, you give up. "Fine, don't tell me."

"You upset I scared off a suitor?"

"A suitor? Damn, you are old." You push his arm in jest as you both continue marching through the woods. "He was too young for me." 

"He was older than you." 

"Too young." You say again. "Too happy. Too charming."

"Oh, he was charming, huh? That was workin' on you?" 

You catch his eye and smile like you have a secret, "No."

Joel knows you're goading him, and his chest aches with exhilaration. He'd point loads of guns at loads of people if you'd keep smiling at him like that.

You breathe out the word, “Deer,” and Joel sinks into a crouch, tugging you down with him. The two of you take cover behind a downed hemlock. His rifle rests on the treebark following the soft footsteps of a large animal. 

The way he pulled you down has you pressing into his side and you’re certain even the deer can hear your thumping heart. 

But neither of you move. You can feel the unyielding firmness of his body; it’s so incredibly comforting to you that it’s all you can think about. Joel Miller. 

He breathes in, and on the exhale he fires. The shot echoes through the woods, sending a handful of crows cawing into the air. Joel retracts his rifle and turns his head to you with a faux-humble smirk. 

He’s even closer than he was that night on the beach; your heart stops, then kicks into overdrive. With his hair mussed and his smile lopsided, he looks happy. 

Instantly realizing his mistake, but too weak to correct it, Joel risks another glance at your lips. He peers back up at your eyes and he’s dry-mouthed at how blown your pupils are. He watches with confliction as your face changes. You swallow a sudden lump in your throat and drop your eyes.

You pull away and whisper, “I can’t do this.” 

And you can’t. The constant heartache of Joel pushing and pulling at you was too much. Today, he’s open, but tomorrow he’d be withdrawn. It was selfish and it was idealistic, but you wanted all of him or nothing. Calling it a crush was trivializing your feelings. An injustice; you knew what you felt for him was stronger than that.

You stand and offer him your hand. If he couldn’t give you what you wanted, that's okay, because you’d love him anyway - as platonically as you could.

“Should we butcher it here? Or drag it? It’s gonna be a chore either way.” Your voice is forced cheer. 

Joel clears his throat, thrown for a loop. “Mm. Guess we’ll drag it.”

He takes your hand and you haul him up. He pauses to put his gun back on safety and sling it over his shoulder. As he does so, you stride toward the unlucky deer.

“I didn’t know lovebirds still existed.” You’re several yards from the deer when a man’s taunt drifts on the wind.

A greasy, stocky man in his late-thirties strolls out from behind another massive hemlock. He’s halfway between you and the deer carcass. Twigs snap behind you as Joel hastens to get to your side, but the man raises his handgun. 

He aims at your friend, but Joel only slows his pace. The man grunts with irritation and points the firearm at you. Joel’s footsteps stop. 

“Ooh, you’re easy to control, huh?” 

You picture your gun back at the campsite with Ellie as she kept watch. It’s hard to regret giving it to her, though. She had a weapon and so did you. As long as Joel was around, you’d be okay.

“What’d you want?” Joel grits out; he’s pissed.

“Buddy, I don’t like your tone. Neither do they,” and the dumpy man tilts his chin behind both of you.

Two more men crush leaves and branches below their feet as they materialize. One is older and armed with a small hunting rifle. The other is much younger than both his friends despite his beard; this man foregoes a weapon. Joel rotates to face the new problem, backing up as he does so, but the first man is wise to Joel’s play.

“Stop moving toward her.” 

Joel stops once more, his teeth clench so hard that his jaw pops. 

“We followed the deer. Been tracking it for a half-mile.”

“Then take it,” the inflection in Joel’s voice is flat, terrifying.

“A’right, a’right, don’t get your panties twisted,” the bearded man jeers. He then shares a meaningful look with the bulkier man near you. 

Standing between Joel and the heavyset man, you’ve angled yourself diagonally to see both men. Unfortunately, Joel is not the closest. The stocky man lunges forward and snatches your left arm, wrenching it behind your back painfully. You cry out in sheer agony as his thumb digs into your stitches.

“Don't fuckin' hurt her,” Joel whips out, seething. His mouth pulls into a horrified scowl, his hands raised in desperate surrender.

The man pulls up your flannel sleeve, saying, “Ah, see, I thought you were overreacting. I was so gentle.” His oily nose sniffs your hair, “Did this guy hurt you, baby?”

You twist away from his rancid breath on your neck. It occurs to you to lie, to try to get them to believe Joel was possessive for a reason other than whatever drove him. Basic ethics, most likely. 

If you lie, maybe they’d see you as less of a bargaining chip. Joel certainly wasn’t helping. He’s keeping his feelings forefront with that black look on his face.

With reluctance, you mutter, “Y-”

But it’s curtailed by your own scream as Joel stumbles to his knees. The two men stand above him - the butt of a rifle is pressed against the back of Joel’s head. His eyes find yours, and a trickle of blood drips down his forehead. Tears stream freely down your cheek. 

How could they? Joel is carefully and permanently on a pedestal in your mind. The peak of masculinity - both good and bad: protective, providing, impenetrable. Seeing him bleed, sagging on his knees was unthinkable. It was perverted, wrong. 

You headbutt the man in the nose, a painful crack against the top of your skull. Grabbing the barrel of his handgun, you wrench it loose and stumble away. The man swears and doubles over, hands over his face.

Gasping for breath, you aim the gun at its owner and order, "Make them back off."

"Bitch, I'm not their daddy. I don't control ‘em," the man sounds pained. 

The rifleman shoves the barrel of his gun into Joel's temple. "Put it down or I'll kill him." 

"Hey, listen. You owe me, now," the stocky man says. "If you set down the gun, turn yourself over, we'll leave him be." 

In your moment of hesitation, you lock eyes with the man you'd never expected, fear in his wet eyes. Then a freight train barrels into your side.

The gun's owner was quicker and quieter than his build should allow. It wasn't fair.

“Now, as feisty as you may think yourself, I’m not a fan of that.” 

Your cheek is roughly grabbed, squeezed, and you're forced to watch as the rifleman slams the butt of his weapon into Joel’s back. Joel sprawls onto the ground, the wind knocked from him. 

Weeping freely now, you beg, “Stop hurting him. Please, please don’t.”

“You gonna do what we ask?” 

Joel tries to speak, but he’s rewarded with another blow to the ribs. He groans and falls onto his uninjured side only to have the bearded man deliver a clumsy kick to his stomach.

“Yes, yes. I won't- won't fight if you’ll let him -” you break off at the look in Joel's eyes. “Please, let him go.” 

“Goddamn it,” he groans. 

Taking advantage of Joel’s attackers focusing on him, and the man holding you being unable to see your face, you mouth: Ellie. Take her. Go.

He growls your name and a curse which earns him another kick to the ribs. He coughs violently, then pushes himself up onto his knees, breathing heavily.

Still staring at you, he softly shakes his head ‘no’. A dead leaf falls from his hair; his brown, puppy eyes are devastated. It crushes your heart into the thousands of pieces you’d been so sure it was already in.

This doesn’t feel real. It’s as though you and Joel had slipped into a nightmare out here in the lonesome woods. None of this was real. None of it except your certainty. If you could save him, you would. You'd tried; and you'd try again. He could keep Ellie safer than you could. It’s simple for you - always had been. The decision wasn’t a decision at all. Love was a practice; a concrete, tangible thing; an action. Love sacrifices. 

“‘Course. I swear. He’s not exactly our type. Good news, boys, y’all know I hate a fighter.” The man wraps an arm around you and drags you backward. 

He’s deliberately slow enough to let you watch as Joel stands, pained. He punches the oncoming bearded man in the jaw and, using his momentum against him, drops the fucker to the ground. Joel then lunges for the rifleman, but the young, bearded man is up faster than he should’ve been. He snakes an arm around Joel’s throat. 

“Joel!” You wail, thrashing in the man’s arms. “You fucking swore, you fucking asshole.” But you know it had been a long shot. You don’t even get to see Joel’s face one last time before you’re dragged over a ridge.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Joel’s temples throb with his heartbeat. The near-deafness in his right ear isn’t new, but he feels more like a flash-bang grenade exploded in his face. It had been late afternoon when he’d taken you hunting, and the pale blue lighting he sees when his eyes blink open tells him it's just after sunset. 

He puffs out a cloud of the mulched forest floor between his dry lips and pushes his palms down to leverage himself off the ground. The temperature had dropped rapidly and the air stings his bruised lungs.

It’s then that he hears your cry. It’s muffled like someone has their hand over your mouth. He hears feet scrabbling in the leaves, and his body physically stiffens at the remembrance of where he is. 

Rage and panic napalm his mind. Those assholes must believe they’d killed him because no one in their right mind would leave Joel Miller alive; not when they had his… his.

He wanted to be mad at you. Wanted so desperately the chance to be mad at you. How could you believe them? Why would they have let him go once you stopped fighting? His heart races and he wonders if he's having a heart attack. He had been right in the beginning about you being too trusting. He had been right this whole time. 

He hides his fear of losing you behind blame, anger. But then his own guilt kicks him. You were doing exactly what you’d do for Ellie. For anyone you cared for. He should’ve been stronger. He should’ve saved you.

Joel casts a searching eye for a weapon, though the righteous rage inside him would be enough. There it is. He can’t quite believe it. One of these boys with a room-temperature IQ had left his .22 propped against a tree trunk near the lip of the earthy depression.

Ignoring the pain lancing through his body, Joel crouches and shakily snatches up the gun. He moves to the top of the small rise and peers around a tree. 

Sitting on your shins is the bearded man who knocked him out; the sandy-haired man’s grimy fingers are trying to shimmy your jeans down. The second man, the rifleman, whom Joel now notices is wearing a torn band shirt, is seated in the dirt above your head, pinning your arms. The third member of the goon squad, their leader, is straddling you, kissing your neck.

Joel refuses to look at your face because if he does he’ll go insane. Instead, he raises the .22 in a flash and fires a shot at at the music fan holding your arms. His orbital bone shatters, blood spurting everywhere.

Without pausing, Joel launches out from behind the tree and swings the .22 into the head of the man who took you from him. He swings the gun as if he’s winning the World Series with it. The resounding crack is so loud that Joel knows he’s killed the fucker instantly. That pisses him off more. A better death than the shitstain deserved. 

Two men are dead before they even know he’s coming. Joel turns on the last one who’s now crab-walking backward from your legs.

“Hey, hey, please,” the younger man holds up a hand in panicked surrender. “You killed my brother, you killed him! Ain’t that enough?”

“You’re right behind him,” Joel grits out. He tosses the gun aside.

“Please, no, listen. No, no,” the man begs.

You retract your knees, hugging them to your chest as you sit up. Your body is a tempest of fear, revulsion, relief, horror, disgust, gratitude, and anger. You’re not sure which one you feel strongest. You’d been hassled before, nearly every woman left in the world had been and the odds hadn’t been great pre-outbreak, anyway. But it’d never been that close. 

All you focus on now is Joel. Alive, and standing between you and all the world.

“Close your eyes.” 

He doesn’t tell you to run because you’re already in the safest place you could be. You don’t want to close your eyes. If you do, he might disappear. You can't give up a sense while drowning in fear. Take your eyes off the one buoy you had? You just can't do it.

The sounds you hear are worse than what you see. There’s the dull thudding sound of Joel’s fists connecting with your attacker’s face, the man’s primal screams suddenly stopping, and the squelching of blood. 

Joel kneeling over the man, his solid right arm rising and slamming down is all you see. It's all you want to see. You'd be lying if you said his violent defense of you wasn't thrilling, wasn't stirring something inside you.

It will haunt you for a while, but the relief of Joel being alive would ease all pain. And in truth, the would-be rapist deserved it. He deserved that side of Joel just as you deserve the other side of him. 

You finally close your eyes when Joel's swings slow. Tucking into yourself, you relive the last few minutes and begin to cry.

There’s a hand in your hair. You flinch and your arms go up to protect yourself when you feel a weight sink to the ground beside you. Opening your eyes, you’re unable to move in the sight of Joel’s frenzied face. Freckles of blood dot his skin, and his eyes are wild. His breathing is rapid as his hand combs through your hair. 

“You’re okay,” his deep voice is raw, “you’re okay.” 

He crushes you to him - his hand cradles the back of your skull while you bury your face in his chest. A pained groan rolls from his mouth but he doesn’t let go. His earthy, leather scent is grounding. 

You scramble to match his kneeling position to fit into him further; you push underneath his jacket, wrapping your arms around his torso, needing to feel him. He rests his cheek on top of your head.

“I thought they killed you,” you cry brokenly into his clothing, the inconsolable grief of losing him still pressing on you. 

“Never fuckin’ do that again,” it’s too soon for him to be mad, but he tries anyway. He pulls back just enough to take your face in both hands, “If you’re given that choice again, you do not choose me.” His troubled eyes dart between yours. 

You know you can’t retort, so you drop your gaze. You can’t promise you won’t take a bullet for him, because you would. Just like you would for Ellie. You slowly retract your arms from underneath his jacket, feeling awkward.

“I’ll try to think of something else first,” you answer him, your voice laden with too many emotions. 

You tilt your head up to see Joel’s beautiful face marred by a tortured expression. He’s so close that you can feel his breath on your cheeks. 

He wants you to be strong, yes. To fight. You are unapologetic joy and he can’t lose that. Joel would happily die if he knew you’d still smile at nature, at all your small reasons, at your sister. He can’t lose you, can't fail you.

In great contrast to the gentle way he holds your face, his jaw is clenched so hard that it looks painful. Concern creases your brow and your mouth opens a fraction to ask if he’s alright, but Joel’s lips are suddenly swallowing your question. 

He burns away the swirling mire in your mind. There’s nothing, no pain or fear. Nothing except for him. His kiss is desperate - a leaf clinging to summer. As your hand returns to caress his side underneath his jacket, you can feel his heart beating as fast as your own. 

A soft moan is forced from you when his hand fists in your hair. Your hands slide up his flannel-covered torso to cup his scruffy chin. 

You part your lips, and breathe, “Joel.” 

He moans into your mouth. 

Then you delve into him, deepening the kiss. His arms encircle you, one hand in your hair, the other squeezing your ass, keeping your body flush against his. He’s even warmer than you imagined. The night chill no match for him.

A bird tweets in the distant dusk. Then it’s as if he suddenly returns to earth: he leans back, putting distance between the two of you.

“’m sorry. That was… bad. This is -” he stops, looking around, and presses his swollen lips into a thin line. “Not right. Sorry. We’ll go find Ellie.” 

With that, he lets go of you completely, leaving you adrift. He stands and offers his hand to you. Confused, more muddled than you’ve ever been in your life, you accept the help silently. He drops your hand as soon as you’re upright. 

Holy shit. He kissed me, right? Or did I lean in first? His rejection stomps on the already-broken pieces of your heart. I knew he wouldn’t let me in.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ellie hops off a rock and slams into you, nearly bowling you over. She tilts her head to look up at you, and you wipe away her tear stains.

“I could hear you yelling. I could hear it, but I promised.” She cries in horror, referring to what you had ingrained into her every day since the outbreak: if you two were separated, she stayed put. She never came if she heard trouble. Ever. No exigent circumstances. She’d hated that promise, fought you on it constantly, but fucking hell were you glad she listened. You refused to even entertain what might’ve happened had Ellie been there.

“We’re alright, Ellie. I’m so sorry.” You smile tiredly. “Everyone’s okay.” 

To your right, you see Joel out of the corner of your eye. Ellie leans over and grasps his sleeve, making sure he’s tangible. Joel’s mouth twitches in a tiny but reassuring smile.

“I’m fine, kid.”

“You guys look like shit,” she swipes at her tears.

Joel barks a laugh, the quick change in Ellie’s disposition precisely what was needed.

“I’d like nothing better than a hot shower,” you reply. You can still feel their grimy hands on your body. You shudder.

“Dunno ‘bout a hot shower, but I’m sure we could find a spring tomorrow.”

You sigh, “Guess that’ll have to do.” 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“Are you -” Joel stumbles over his thoughts, “Are you gonna be okay? To sleep, I mean?”

“Unlikely,” you give him an uneasy smile. “I’m happy to take the first watch.” 

“Alright,” he settles on the rock next to you.

You protest, irritated, “Please go rest. You've had a - a bad day, too.” You needed time to process everything and his presence was distracting.

“I’m not gonna rest if you’re keeping watch alone.”

You scoff. “I learned my lesson, okay?” 

Was he hellbent on making you mad at him tonight? After he saved your ass? For the third time. Oh, my god. I really am one big problem for him. 

Redness flushes your cheeks at the realization. You owe him so much yet all he does is drive you insane. Sorting out your feelings about everything was priority number one.

“That’s not what I m-”

“Well, what do you mean?”

“If you’d let me fuckin’ finish,” he makes a frustrated hand motion. “Got a hard enough time admitting it at all, an’ you want me to just come out with a poem or some shit?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I think we should eat those last two granola bars. Don’t you guys? They’ve been in my pack for, like, three weeks.” Ellie walks over and interrupts purposefully, tired of the argument.

“Well, they lasted eight years, so I don’t think a few days will affect them, but that’s fine with me.”

Ellie trots over to her backpack and breaks two bars in half. She returns and gives you one half and Joel another. Holding her own half from the second bar, she “clinks” her bar with yours. 

“Cheers,” she laughs before biting her piece. You smile and take a small bite of yours. Ellie wanders toward the sleeping bags, slowly picking apart her granola bar.

Under your breath, you tell Joel, “Please go get some sleep. I owe you and I’m fine.” 

He stamps the butt of his gun on the rock he’d been sitting on in acknowledgment, then mercifully leaves you to your daunting task.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It's still dark when your relief comes. He looks terrible. His knuckles are flaked with both his and another's blood, and his forehead still bears traces of the afternoon.

"There's a stream down there," you indicate to your right. Its babbling could be heard in the quiet air. 

"I'm fine," he grouses. 

"Joel…" you gently chide. 

Pulling a shirt from your pack, you walk off to the stream. You're back less than a minute later, and you point at the rock you'd been sitting on.

"Yes, ma'am," his voice is still monotone. 

You position yourself in front of him, his face level with yours. He closes his eyes as you carefully rub the damp cloth across his dirty, blood-streaked forehead. 

"It's been hours, why didn't you clean up?" 

Joel only shrugs in answer. 

"What's wrong?" You stop wiping. 

His eyelids open and the flickering campfire reflects in his glassy eyes. 

"Can you just keep doin' that?" He closes his eyes once more. You oblige.

He doesn't mean to, he doesn't even register that he's done it until it's too late. He flinches as his sore, bruised knuckles bend to fit his hands around your hips. You tenderly grasp one and begin to wipe it free of residue. 

Neither of you speaks, too lost in your own thoughts and in the moment. Joel feels so close and so distant. 

You’d sorted through your emotions over the near-assault with brashness. It was the end of the world. Dwelling on things you had survived was pointless. 

No, the problem was Joel. You thought you’d got him killed, then he was alive, then the kiss, then he rejected you. Guilt, grief, joy, embarrassment. 

You still weren't sure who initiated the kiss, and his defensive coldness led you to believe it had been you. In truth, you supposed you were just back at square one. Joel forever opening up then shutting down again. 

It only made you feel worse. Desperately you wanted to cling to him, have him tell you that he didn’t blame you. Have him make the world go away. But even if he did that now, it wouldn’t last. He wouldn’t let you fully inside. 

“Thank you,” Joel murmurs when you back away. 

“Like I said, I owe you.” Your voice gives away no inflection. 

Joel watches you walk over to where Ellie lay. You kiss her forehead, then cuddle in behind her. He sees you whisper something in her ear.

Joel understands. An easy reprieve from your own emotions was to care for another’s.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 The silver truck glimmers behind you. You regard it with sadness before trudging onward. The sun beads in your eyes as the westward walk continues. Looking down isn’t a reprieve as the sun reflects off the pure snow. The soft, rolling plains stretch out, but the horizon is jagged with the promise of greater hills or rock formations. There’s not a single car to be seen.

“It got us through, like, four fucking states in three days,” Ellie holds up a map of the Midwest you’d found at a state welcome center. 

“You mean I got us through four fuckin’ states in three days,” Joel boasts. 

 It had been too long since he’d filled the gas tank, but with the broken gauge, he’d been unable to predict exactly when the vehicle would give up the ghost. The answer was somewhere over the border of Nebraska. 

“Sure, Joel, you did it all on your own,” Ellie rolls her eyes. She kicks a chunk of snow. “I’m so happy you're here to do everything.”

Since the fight, you’d found it difficult to even look at the man next to you. You had bared yourself to him that day; shown him that you were willing to die for him, that you trusted him with Ellie, that your greatest fear had been his death; and then that fucking kiss. And here you both were: unable to look at each other. 

“At least one of you is,” Joel mutters, his breath clouding in the freezing air.

The man could find his way under your skin even if you were wearing a latex bodysuit. You bite your lip to prevent the automatic, angry retort. 

Thinks I’m dead weight. You think bitterly. Don't blame him too much. Almost got him killed. Probably thinks of me as a dumb kid. 

You wrap your arms around yourself, trying to quell the heartbreak. You understood his opinion: you’re weak because you care. You had given up on trying to show him that that was the only way you could live with yourself.

A cloud blows over the afternoon sun, illuminating the land in a new way. The horizon silhouettes a building in the distance, at least a mile out. You shield your eyes, then point.

“Shelter?” Your teeth chatter together with perfect timing and, from the corner of your eye, you see motion. Joel is unwinding the scarf he’d found. He drapes it around your neck. 

“Wrap it over your chin,” he instructs. 

You do so. It had been a new scarf from the same rest stop where you’d picked up the map. It smelled old, but it was warm. His warmth. You regret curling it over your mouth because on top of the old smell was Joel. At least he can’t see most of your face now.

Joel relished the way something of his - albeit his for less than a few days - looked on you. He’d take what he could get. You’d pried open his hardened heart and nestled inside. Joel had never met anyone like you. So capable and vulnerable and easy to be with. And fucking irritating. And stubborn. God, you piss him off. 

You’d been different since that night and Joel hadn’t the emotional intelligence to work out your problem. As far as he could reason, you were upset with him for not saving you sooner, or for kissing you at such a shit moment; or, he worried, kissing you at all. His fear that you see him as a father figure grows larger.

“You and I go in, Ellie covers the front?” You start planning. “Together or me in the back?” 

“Could be one of those state historical cabins, so there might be only one door anyway,” Joel theorizes.

“Good point,” you concede. 

You evaluate Ellie’s back as she walks in front, wondering if you could get away with a hushed conversation with Joel. The heaviness between the two of you was reaching a breaking point for you. You’re just one state away from Wyoming now, and you can’t let him leave without fixing whatever was happening. Luckily, the wind howls occasionally from the west, so your words are unlikely to carry to her ears. 

You drop back, slowing your pace. Joel notices and slows as well.

“Is it because I told them you hurt me? Because I kissed you? Or because I- because I almost got you killed? Is that why you're still so mad at me?” You pepper him suddenly.

Joel couldn’t be more surprised if you had stabbed him. 

“No, I know why y’ told ‘em I did that,” he answers. “An’ I know you thought trading yourself was the best option.” His voice drops an octave, “It wasn’t, but I get it.”

“You get it? You don't blame me? Then why are you being so mean to me?” You plead.

“What?” Joel's face turns to yours.

“You’re even colder than usual. You make these little digs at me, you don’t trust me to keep watch half the time anymore. You treat me like a child you’re disappointed in.” The irony smacks into you when you nearly whine that last sentence. 

Joel grabs your arm, stopping you and turning you to face him.

"I don’ do those things because I think you’re a child. And I thought you were the one who was mad-” he pauses, unsure how to organize his argument. Snowflakes catch in his gray hair. His dark eyes are stark against the white surroundings. “But I couldn’t feel less fatherly 'bout you if I tried.” 

“What - what the fuck does that mean?” You ask, baffled and failing to keep your pitch low. Ellie notices now that the two of you have stopped.

“Can you guys fight in the damn cabin up there?” She crosses her arms and tilts her head back dramatically. “Either kiss or kill each other, I’m so tired of this.” And with that, she spins around. 

When you reignite eye contact with Joel, he’s burning a hole through you with every emotion you’ve ever made him feel. There’s a moment when you think he’ll take Ellie’s advice, but then he sighs.

“Go on, girl,” he gestures ‘after you’.

“‘Girl’? You said you weren't infantilizing me.” You scoff.

“Infantilizing? Well, ain’t that a five-dollar word, where’d ya learn that?” he snarks in exasperation. God, you piss him off.  

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Joel had been right, again. You were getting tired of that. An empty wooden box with a fireplace on the lower level, the cabin was at least a shelter from the snow flurrying down. It had plain, empty floors and a staircase with no railing but a trapdoor to separate the top floor from the bottom. That was handy in case a problem arose. 

There was a great debate about lighting the fire. All three of you took turns arguing both for and against it (Ellie: “But it’s fucking frozen in here,” Joel: “You wanna alert any dumbass in the area to our presence, darlin’, go ahead,”), but in the end, the frigid temperature had the final say. Ellie and Joel ventured back into the growing white swirl outside to look for wood in the tiny shed. 

While they were gone, you laid out the camping gear and set about making this house a home for the night. In the corner, you notice an old brochure for the place. 

Perfect. Kindling.

You dig through your pack to find your lighter when Ellie shoves open the heavy wooden door with two logs in her arms. She kicks the door closed, despite its weight.

“This was all I got, but I think Joel might’ve got more.” She announces, slamming the logs onto the hearth.

“Was he right behind you?” You ask, laughing preemptively.

“Oh, shit, yeah.” 

She runs to the door and jerks it back open. There’s Joel standing in the doorway with his arms full of wood. His leveled glare and signature frown send both you and Ellie into fits of laughter. 

“I’m sorry,” Ellie chuckles.

Joel’s long legs step over the threshold, and when he gets close enough to Ellie, he shakes his hair over her, showering her in melting snowflakes. 

Still laughing, Ellie blocks him with her hands and cries, “You dick!” 

Sitting cross-legged next to the hearth, you no longer need the fire, warmed by the scene playing out in front of you. No matter the type of relationship with Joel, you couldn’t care about the two of them any more than you do now. The smile on your face is so wide that you feel like you'll split. 

Joel approaches and sets the logs down far more gently than Ellie had next to the fireplace. You hold up the two logs Ellie had grabbed, and together with Joel, start the fire. 

After a dinner of canned veggies, Ellie sprawls out on the floor in her t-shirt and jeans. Joel sits with his back to the flames while you lean against the heated stones. 

“It’s hot down here,” Ellie complains.

Joel's face darkens with irritation.

“I’m allowed to be hot.”

“You’re the only reason we got the damn thing going,” he accuses. “You got too much energy. It’s got you all -” he makes a shaking motion with his hands.

“I do not,” Ellie yawns. “I’m actually exhausted.”

“That floor upstairs has a trapdoor. Might be cooler, El.” 

“Doesn’t heat rise or some shit?” Ellie asks.

“Yes, but this place is airtight and I’m betting it’s colder up there. I don’t care what you do, I’m just telling you.” 

“Okay, I’ll go look.” Ellie hops up in a fluid motion and bounds across the room and up the stairs. She’s gone for a few moments, and you picture her standing with her eyes closed acting like a human thermometer. 

She stomps down the creaky old steps, “It’s way cooler but not cold so I’m gonna sleep up there.” She starts to gather her sleeping bag, pillow, and her clothes. 

Your stomach lurches. Alone with Joel overnight? That’s… that’s never happened. 

“Do you want company, Ellie?” You ask, trying to take the coward’s way out.

“Uhh. Do you mind staying down here?” Ellie asks with a grimace. A teenager has to take every opportunity to be independent. 

“Course not. Just making sure you’re okay,” you reassure her, though you’re the one who’s not okay.

“Goodnight, then. Love you,” Ellie balances her stuff as she makes her way up the stairs. “‘Night, Joel!” Then the squeak, bam! of the trapdoor hinging shut.

“‘Night, Ellie,” comes his reply. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“Let’s get this over with,” you sigh pessimistically.

“Wish I hadn’t kissed you,” Joel blurts out before you finish speaking. It was obvious he hadn’t planned this any more than you had. 

Subconsciously, you put a hand over your chest at the stabbing pain of his words. Though you suspected it, it was hard to hear it from those same lips.

Joel looks into the shadowy corner of the cabin. “Everything used to make you happy. Sunsets, mountains, clouds - hell, even I managed to make you laugh once or twice. But you've been so… so angry ever since - since I kissed you.” 

Okay, so I didn't start the kiss. One less thing to feel guilty for. 

“I wasn’t sure who moved first. Then you said it was ‘bad.’” Your voice curdles to a whisper in embarrassment.

Joel’s head jerks to you. The firelight glows on the right side of his tanned face, highlighting his patchy beard. “You thought I meant your kissin’ skill?” 

You don’t reply, a lump in your throat at the memory of all you felt that day and the sting of his rejection. 

What scared you most that day was not what nearly happened to you, but what had happened to him. In a way, you understood him much better now. Letting people in only got people hurt. That’s fine and dandy when you were the one getting hurt, but not when Joel had been near death because of your affection for him. 

“No, you meant getting close to me.” You can’t make eye contact with him, but his hand twitches closer to yours.

“No, I didn’t,” his voice is so rough it could catch on silk. "You an' Ellie are all I got. What I meant was that I shouldn’t have finally let you know that next to three dead bodies after you’d been -” he stops himself, looking away.

Those two sentences in his gruff, passionate voice pick up the pieces of your heart. 

It's your turn. “I haven’t been mad, I’ve been hurt. Confused. Taking a page out of your book and building a wall to protect myself.” 

Joel frowns, “From me?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah. I told you I’m not a good man. Tommy and I did bad shit to survive. But... I was worse.”

“Stop fucking comparing yourself to him,” you beg. “I don’t want your brother.” 

“An’ you want me?” Joel chuckles darkly. “Old enough to be your dad.”

“You said you didn’t view me like a kid.” 

“No,” his brown eyes find yours, giving you the same look he gave you out on the road and before he kissed you that horrible day. “No, when I think about you, it ain’t -” he hesitates. “It's what any man would think.” 

You slide closer to him, your hip bumping the rock hearth, and murmur, “I don’t want any man, either.” 

Delicately, you rest a hand on his jean-covered knee. Your mind had changed. If he would keep opening himself up to you over time like this, he was worth the risk. Worth the heartache.

He's warm even through the tough material. A summer's day at the lake, and you desperately want to go swimming. Joel's large, deep eyes memorize your face, and the fire blazing beside you pales in comparison. 

“I can't. What if I fail you again?” His mind jumps to how close you were to being hurt. The fear shocking his body. The sound of your cry. “I don’t know how to be close to anyone anymore. And I’m-” his voice strains, but he raises his hand to touch your face. 

You close your eyes, inadvertently parting your lips as well. His thumb trails and pulls on your bottom lip. 

“I’ve killed innocent people,” he confesses, staring at your inviting mouth. "I’m not who I should be." 

His eyes snap back to yours as you open them, “I… had a daughter.” 

Joel’s eyes are watery, but he refuses to blink and let them spill. It’s Joel’s hardest confession and he does it purposefully while his brain is distracted. He needed you to know why he wasn’t right for you. Why he was stopping this.

 “So have I. And…” You pour your heart into your words, “I’m so, so sorry, Joel. Nothing I can say will ease that pain. I- I can't even imagine it." You picture Ellie. You squeeze his knee where your hand still lay, "But I’ll help you carry it all, if you’ll let me."

“Goddamn it,” he growls. “You’re not lettin’ me have any room, are you? Always have to fuckin’ argue.” 

His calloused hands seize your face, crushing his lips to yours. You mewl in surprise and the hand on his leg flies to his cheek. He holds you together though you feel like falling apart. The kiss was never chaste, but then his tongue demands its way into your mouth and you reward him with a submissive moan. 

Joel feels his entire body ignite. His lips drag you to a state of arousal you'd only experienced in your dreams of him. His hands clutch the sides of your face, his thumbs caressing your cheekbones as he licks into you. Joel's heat soaks into you, pooling below your stomach. 

Not close enough for you, you throw your leg over him, straddling him. 

He groans deliciously as you settle on his lap. He runs his hands up and down your back, your sides, wanting to map your body.

You grip his hair, as soft as you always knew it would be, and refuse to let the man breathe. Your kiss is as incendiary as his, and both of you gasp around the other’s lips. You rock against him, feeling the hardness in his jeans. 

“Fuck,” his voice breaks along with any restraint he still had.

“Please,” you cry, plain need dripping from your voice. 

“Whatever y’want, baby,” he drunkenly promises into your skin, placing openmouthed kisses down your throat. “This gotta go, though,” he grumbles. He slides both hands up your shirt, removing it with a flourish. 

His undeniable desire for you goes straight to your soul: a desperate ache for him. He works your bra off and replaces it with his hardworking hands. You throw your head back in relief, but it’s still not enough. 

"Yes," you spur him on.

Returning to his perfect, indecently pouty mouth, your hands fumble with his belt. The clink of the belt buckle hitting the stone hearth underneath him is the most erotic sound you've yet heard. Without leaving your lips, Joel hooks your ankles around his waist and lowers you to his sleeping bag. 

He trails down your jaw. You hurriedly unbutton his flannel, wanting to feel his skin flush with yours. He lets you slide your jeans off, in fear you might remember the last time a man tried to remove them. 

But once they're gone, his hands skate along your hips and hook in your underwear. In a jumble of arms and material, Joel soon covers your nakedness with his own; his hard length throbbing against your hip.

“I can feel your heat, already,” he chokes, his voice gravelly. “Now, you gonna be quiet, or do I gotta cover this mouth of yours?” Joel’s thumb ghosts over your lips.  

“I’ll be quiet, Joel. Promise,” you widen your eyes in earnest. 

Joel groans, "Shit, woman." He ruts against you.

You lean to kiss his neck and jawline while your hands slide down in excitement to cup him, stroke him. You make a small, satisfied noise at the feel of him in your hands. He moans above you, dropping his head onto your shoulder, and you smirk.

“Are you gonna be quiet?” 

He grasps your wrist and pulls it away. “You keep doin’ that and this’ll be a short ride.”

Joel ruts against you again, this time across a spot he hadn’t before - and you jolt with the sensation. He does it again, mesmerized by the way you move. He lines up and teases you, the mere contact sending your eyes rolling. You dig your nails into his biceps.

“Joel, before- I just want t-” 

He stops you with a wet, filthy kiss. The throbbing between your legs has you rubbing against him for release. He erases your thoughts. Joel tilts his forehead to yours. 

“I know y’do.” 

As much as he fought it, worried about it, somewhere deep inside he knows exactly how you feel. He also knows he feels the same. 

Written across my fuckin’ forehead, isn’t it?

But, unlike him, you'd never taken a break from loving things. You hadn't spent years denying that you were even capable of it anymore. He could not say it. But he could show it.

Your anxiousness melts away when Joel pushes into you slowly, savoring your expression. Total arousal and concentration has his mouth gaping. You nip at his bottom lip and he chases your mouth.

He can’t believe he’s doing this. For such a short amount of foreplay, you’re gushing for him. He almost gave this up over fear of letting you in? This with a woman who loves him? God, he is a coward.

“Don’t deserve this,” it’s a throaty moan as the patch of hair between his hips scratches yours. He looks down at the place he’s joined with you. 

What a fuckin’ sight, Joel feels the spark at the base of his spine and almost comes right there.

“Oh, fuck,” you thread your fingers back through Joel’s hair.

Your breasts press into his hard chest as you arch to accommodate him. It doesn’t even hurt, you’ve been so thoroughly turned on by him. You just need Joel as deep as he can be in you, in all possible ways.

He drags himself out, then slowly eases back in. You whimper with the deviance of a man being inside you. Not just any man, either, as you’d told him moments ago. But Joel. Beautiful, emotionally fragile, powerful Joel who felt loyalty toward you, who protected you, who cared for you. 

He drops his mouth to bruise yours, overwhelmed by your reaction to him. His pace picks up until his fingers dig into your waist as you cling to him. You try to keep the need to be silent forefront, but it was so difficult with Joel possessing you, forcing noises to exist. He clasps a large hand over your mouth.

He closes in over you, muttering, “How bad I wanna hear those noises. Wish I could hear how much you like it.” His hand slides up over your breast, manhandling slightly. 

“I thought about your hands,” you adjust his fingers to admit in a whisper. "Thought about them all over me."

“Hm, did you?” His voice is thick with lust.

Before you can answer, he wraps his hand around your throat, and, watching your eyes, squeezes the sides carefully. Only enough to remind you how strong he is, what you do to him, and how utterly safe you are with him. He kisses you again, hard, and it's full of those promises. 

It’s then that the tense pleasure building in your core snaps into an electric fire in your muscles. Writhing underneath him, he feels it, too.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he slows his thrusts while your body squeezes him. 

“Oh, my god, Joel,” you cry as quietly as you can. You’ll never get off him after this. 

It's the first time you've sung his name, and Joel knows he is well and truly fucked. He releases his grip. You grasp his hand and kiss his knuckles slowly.

He arches your hips and shoves his balled-up jacket underneath you. Joel places his hand over your mouth and thrusts into you with barely-controlled force, grunting with primal intent.

Your cry is muffled and distorted as he pushes inside you over and over. He rubs against a spot that makes you arch into him and decides that's his favorite. His thumb rolls over your sensitive mound and, combined with his filthy words, you feel him building another wave of euphoria. 

All you know is his name, repeated over and over in your mind to remind you that Joel is the one making you feel this good. That knowledge alone shoves you back to the edge.

His lips are at your ear, and his accent is the strongest you’ve ever heard it, “Knew you’d feel like this. Always throwin’ yourself at me. Darin’ me to fuck you. Wantin' me to do it,” he can’t help himself: he tenderly bites and sucks at your neck just below your ear.

“Look so fuckin’ good underneath me,” he praises, his cadence clipped with exertion.

But Joel is tireless in his pursuit. Determined to show you how you make him feel. Determined to take what was already his. Hellbent on fucking you until it hurt to walk tomorrow. Shit, maybe he’d carry you. He felt free, wild. 

It’s the way he consumes your body with his hands, his lips, his tongue as he fucks you that has your mind reeling into another realm, or falls off a cliff, or wherever it is he sends you. Your body is as taut as a bowstring before it snaps the second time. The pleasure of Joel playing your body like a guitar fills your bones, your veins.

“Y’still with me?” Joel presses a kiss to your lips. You feel yourself clench a final time around nothing. He sits back.

Absently, you run a hand along your stomach and feel a substance. You raise your eyes to his, and he grins sheepishly. It’s such an intimate smile, it hurts. He takes a shirt and wipes your skin.

“Sorry 'bout the mess. Wanted to pull out in time to come on the shirt or somethin’ but…” 

He takes your hand, helping you sit up, and kisses your chin, cradling your face. You kiss him with fervor, and he breaks it to finish, “But you’re too damn much.” 

“I’m never just right, am I?” You joke. You count on your fingers: “Too happy, too talkative, too argumentative, and now just too much.”

He grabs and kisses your fingers, saying huskily, “’s the way you should be."

"Put your clothes on," you laugh and follow your own advice.

"Yes, ma'am," he picks up his jeans and pulls them on without buttoning them, and you think about ripping them off and going for round two. You can see the brunette curls poking out invitingly.

He puts his undershirt on, then drags your sleeping bag to his. He unzips both bags to lay flat. A bed and a blanket.

"C'mere," he relaxes on the makeshift bed, holding an arm out to you.

After everything, this was what was going to make you cry? The sight of him, hair a mess, glowing in the firelight, enveloping you into his arms?

All those years staring at sunsets. Wish I could've been staring at this.

Tears prick your eyes as you kneel with him. He tucks you under his waiting arm and lies down, fitting you against him. His breath plays with your hair, and his hand trails up and down your arm soothingly.

"I thought this would never happen," you sigh.

There’s a moment of thought before Joel says, "Ah, shit. You were seventeen when-"

"Yep."

"Oh," he realizes you're a virgin. Or had been up until twenty minutes ago. He feels uncertain. "You okay?"

You laugh, "Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?"

"Wasn't really romantic."

"You and a fireplace? That's way more romantic than I would've asked for. I'd have been happy with you and a backseat or you and a tree."

You feel Joel's chuckle roll through his chest. He viciously revels in your words. All you wanted was him.

"That wasn't what I meant, though. I meant that I thought you'd never - that you didn't feel anything like I did."

"Mm," he tenses. "Course I do."

Communication was not his strong suit, and in this moment, he does not want to fuck anything up.

"Better for me to show you."

"And I prefer that any time," you praise him.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Fucking finally, holy shit."

Ellie stands above with folded arms and the smuggest smile you've ever seen.

"You guys must've been freezing down here because somehow you ended up all cuddled together and I know for sure you'd never do that willingly because you guys hate each other," she sarcastically monologs.

Your face feels like you held it above the now-dead fire.

Joel hasn't moved. Maybe he was pretending she couldn't see him.

In the night, the two of you must've rolled over, because you're curled around his back, arm slung over his side. Your nose had buried itself into the waves at the nape of his neck.

"Ellie?" You cover your eyes. "Shut the fuck up."

She just laughs.

"Now does this mean there will be more or less bickering? Because sometimes it's entertaining but sometimes, fucking hell, you guys really go at it."

Joel finally stirs, heaving a massive sigh. "You ain't gonna leave us alone, are you?"

Ellie wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. "Should I?"

Joel shoots her a glare.

Ellie makes eyes at you and you know she wants to barrage you with questions. You suppose it'll come sooner or later, and it's better if Joel's not there.

"Joel," you start, not sure what to suggest, but then he sits up.

"I'm headin' outside."

The door closes as he tugs his jacket on, and Ellie looks at you with poorly-contained excitement.

"What the fuck happened?"

"Shhh! Shit, Ellie, it's not a big deal." You haven't decided how much you're telling her.

Her glare could kill a horse. "Not a big deal? It's Joel. Mr. Antisocial. And you've been pining after him this whole damn time."

You shush her again, "He's going to fucking hear you."

"You think he doesn't know?" She asks incredulously; your affection for him was so obvious that she thought even Joel couldn’t have missed it.

You exhale sharply, "No, he definitely knows that now. I mean he doesn't know how long. It's embarrassing."

"So, he… knows now?"

Shit.

You physically deflate. You'll have to tell her. She'll wheedle or smart it out of you eventually.

"We… worked it out."

Ellie starts laughing.

"You FUCKED HIM." She laughs harder at the new territory. It was funny, and kind of bizarre to have a man come into the picture after all of these years and change everything.

You can’t help but laugh resignedly, "Don't be so crass. You don’t need the details.”

“I don't want the damn details.” She looks nauseated at the thought. “I can’t believe I leave you alone for one night and you pounce on the poor man.”

“I didn’t pounce on him,” you retort, even though you literally did. “We talked about some shit that went down in the woods last week and… and some other things. It was a mature conversation. I hope the bickering will be much less.” Then you add, “But I wouldn’t count on that.”

“Just don’t forget I exist.” Ellie semi-jokingly requests.

“Ellie,” you stand and hug her tight. “Don’t even say that. It’d never happen.”

“I know. I guess if anyone had to be as wonderful as me, I’m glad it’s Joel.”

“It’s not a competition. I’m also happy to know you're not mad,” you chuckle.

"Mad? It's like I got a brother. A… much older brother." She makes a face at you. "More like a dad."

"You never heard of DILFs?"

"You're gross."

Continue ->

[twistedcharismaaa]

Silk Dreams: Temptations

General Summary: The creation of Masego.

Summary: A deeper glimpse into the past of Masego and Charisma's relationship that leads to their awaiting future.

Author's Note: Hi guyssss! How are ya? I hope you guys are well! I miss you guys and love you guys so much! I’m here with a little update! I hope you guys enjoy it it! I know it’s been ten thousand years since I’ve last updated this. Please feel free to re-read as a refresher. I’m still rusty. I’m really insecure about this update to be transparent lol. So I really, really hope you guys enjoy this. I love y’all! Don’t forget to leave a comment for ya girl! I liveeeee for the commentary! Enjoyyyyy!

*Flashback*

She didn’t know what captured her first - his smile, his laughter, or his eyes. She swore he had the warmest eyes she’d ever seen. And he was absolutely clueless of the power that rested in those dark brown orbs. She saw her fantasies in them. She saw vast possibilities, endless resolutions, and more importantly, freedom. She wondered how many versions of herself that she could be around him and she wondered who he was outside the confines of these four walls that they both seemed to frequent every Friday afternoon. The Smoothie Café on 15th Street was quaint and quiet. It was something that she had been lacking recently. The art of simplicity. She wondered if he lived a simple life and she wondered what he wrote about when he typed on that laptop of his. Whatever it was, held a lot of importance. She figured it was important enough for him not to notice her. 

Neglect was never a stranger to her, but it still hurt all the same. She figured this is just the life of an attention seeker ever insatiable for the spotlight or maybe ever insatiable for love. Silently, she sighed before taking another sweet swig of her fruity delight of a drink. Carelessly, she stole one more glance from Mr. Pretty Brown eyes. But this time, to her surprise, his eyes were already resting on hers. Again, he had the warmest eyes she’d ever seen but yet, they were able to send a chill down her spine. She smiled timidly and he did the same. Slowly, he stood up from his table and began gradually walking her way. 

She pretended to busy herself with some random app on her phone. Again, she took another sip of her smoothie and waited impatiently for his arrival. Moments later, he stood in front of her table. 

“Excuse me,” he said politely. 

“Yes,” she responded, kindly. 

“I’ve noticed that we both seem to come here a lot. The drinks here are amazing,” he said, as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck. 

“They are,” she agreed. 

“I figured it’s time for me to introduce myself. I’m Ambrose. All my friends call me Ro,” he replied, smiling. 

“Charisma,” she answered. “That’s a pretty name. Doesn’t it mean immortal or something like that?” She quizzed.

“Yeah, it does. It has Greek Origins. Thank you,” he replied, chuckling. 

“You’re welcome,” she replied, smiling. 

“Since we’re on the topic of pretty things, I think you’re absolutely beautiful,” he admitted. 

And just like that her smile grew even wider. 

“Thank you,” she answered. 

“If you’re not busy or anything. I would love to take you out to dinner sometime. Or maybe we can get a smoothie together?” He suggested.

Before she could answer, The sound of reality buzzed in the palm of her hand. Masego was calling. Quickly, she ignored the call. 

“I would love to,” she replied, eagerly.

“Bet,” Ambrose stated, happily.

Gleefully, they both exchanged numbers and then exchanged goodbyes. 

She watched Ambrose exit the Smoothie Café with a small smile on her face. Once the door behind him closed, she returned her attention back to her phone. It buzzed again, and again, and again. Her phone was flooded with missed calls and unread texts. Reluctantly, she read Masego’s last message. 

“I’m back in town …. I want to see you. I missed you,”

Instantly, she was reminded of how courteous her lover was. He was just so mindful. How mindful and considerate he was to announce his arrival back home after not speaking to her for over a month. She was completely ghosted. His prized jewel on the shelf collecting dust. He was absolutely polished and pristine. How kind he was to update her on his well-being overseas through Instagram stories and Twitter posts. It would only be right for her to match his chivalry. She left her lover on read and tossed her phone in her purse. She gathered the rest of her belongings and exited the cafe and entered a new state of illusion. 

——-

*Present* 

The crowd sounded like roaring lions. Their cheers echoed loudly throughout the building. Even with the door closed you can feel their adoration pulse. She couldn’t blame them though. She loved watching him perform on stage too. Quietly, she sat down and tried to think about all the things she loved about him. She even tried to think about all the reasons she had to stay and all the reasons she had to go. 

Breaking her many thoughts, she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. It was Ambrose calling. Hesitantly, she ignored his call. Seconds later, he followed up with a text. 

“Did you end it with him? Have you talked to him? Call me baby, please,”

She read his text and instantly her heart broke. Ambrose didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve this. 

“Fuckkk,” she groaned. 

Tears welled in her eyes and slid down her cheeks as she texted Ambrose back.  

“No, he’s performing right now. Didn’t catch him. Will call later,”

Quickly, she locked her phone and tossed it to the side. She closed her eyes and tried to quiet her mind. 

——

Several moments passed and Masego quickly entered his dressing room sweaty and breathless. A sense of relief washed over him the moment he saw Charisma’s face. She was still there. He smiled widely and sat beside her on the couch. 

“You’re here,” he whispered. 

“I am,” she replied. 

“Are you ready to talk?” She questioned, sternly. 

“Yes,” he answered. 

“Good,”

———

How quickly dreams can turn into nightmares….

Part 3

@ghostfacekill-monger @geriixox @sapphichottie @chaneajoyyy @isisafrofairy @mooon-berry @savagescorpion @nzia-writes @nelleana @blackburnbook @fendionmyfeet @neewrites @themajesticnigerian @theycallmechanty @teardropzih @xxariaxxaxx @shewrites02 @straightouttasimulation

[can-of-w0rmz]

“Aaron Tveit is a tenor he shouldn’t have been cast in a baritone role”/“Sondheim is rolling in his grave rn”/“He sounds too cute and unthreatening.” Genuinely shut the fuck up oml how does it feel to be boring asf 😭 He played the role extremely well, the songs sounded great in his vocal range, he WAS extremely threatening, and y’all are just being petty and puritanical about this shit. I’m a hardcore fan of Josh Groban and Len Cariou’s interpretations of the character, but Aaron Tveit did just as good of a job playing Sweeney Todd as anyone who came before him.

Sweeney Todd is a show that is and always has been continuously reinterpreted and played around with, while still keeping its core characterisation, plot and themes, which, just saying, were way clearer under Tveit’s portrayal of the character than for example, some of the “classic” baritone portrayals like George Hearn (iconic as his performance was, totally rewatching my 1982 proshot DVD on loop over here). He captured the sympathy and tragedy of the character whilst still being feral, aggressive, passionate and threatening, he’s a great actor and apart from the very mild set-back of his vocal range just being higher, he’s probably the best portrayal of Sweeney Todd I’ve ever seen. And even then, his vocal performance was far from bad — I’d totally stick it on in the background if he had any songs professionally recorded. He just doesn’t have the deep oomf that Josh Groban had, but if we’re going to talk about Tveit’s Todd being too “cute”, I’d totally say the opposite — as much as I absolutely love Groban’s interpretation of the character to bits, he arguably kind of lacks the feral aggression other actors who’ve played Todd have.

And, as for “Sondheim is rolling in his grave”, excuse me?? Sondheim has always been explicit about wanting an actor that can sing over a singer that can act. He reworked the structure of “Send In the Clowns” specifically for Glynis Johns because “she couldn't sustain notes,” his words. Not that either Johns or Tveit can’t sing, but you get the picture — yeah, no, Sondheim would absolutely not be rolling in his grave because a tenor played a baritone role he wrote extremely well and opted a couple notes higher than they were originally written.

Also, while I’m on the subject, listen, ok, I love the original 1979 cast recording so much that Angela Lansbury was my top artist (😭), and Annaleigh Ashford is actually my icon oml I absolutely adore her, but bsfr the hate on Sutton Foster was wayyy out of order. I’m not really a fan of a lot of the stuff she does (no harm to her or anything, just a personal preference 🤷‍♀️), and I think her portrayal of Mrs Lovett was a LITTLE bit surface level at times, (imo she didn’t REALLY have the same super strong characterisation that Ashford brought to the table tbf?), but for the most part she was actually really really funny and her chemistry with Tveit was on point, and she was still really good during those serious scenes too.

And don’t get me started on that one time I read a comment that said “Sweeney Todd is not a comedy”….bro… some of these people don’t even know what the fuck they’re talking about 😭

[indigoturtles]

saw alien romulus today as a longtime alien fan (i have seen all movies save for the AvP stuff)

solid 9.5/10 ⭐️⭐️

more thoughts with MAJOR SPOILERS: DNR IF YOU HAVENT SEEN AND ARE THINKING ABOUT WATCHING under the cut

first i wanna address the fans that seem a little pissed about the direction the movie took:

y’all might not like it but uh. that stuff was canon. ridley scott made the prequels. that’s been a thing. some of y’all are acting so shocked they acknowledged a major part of alien biology?? they’re not retconning that stuff gang

i feel like the people getting upset at romulus for that are the same people who refuse to acknowledge any of the genuinely good bits that came of out of Prometheus and Covenant (which believe it or not: i found it interesting) - folks you can hate an idea but that doesn’t inherently make it a bad one or bad cinema

and people might yell at me for this one but the characters were all actually interesting too if you pay attention?? they had a common goal?? they had lives outside of the immediate story and they had aspirations??? andi the synthetic (correction: artificial person) was likeable and wasn’t just another ash or bishop or david? rain wasn’t ripley and that’s a good thing??? i liked rain and andi’s dynamic??

forgive me for getting pressed but i get mad when people seem to just want the same movie over again. go watch the first one again and let us enjoy someone trying to be creative with a concept. ridley scott was a producer on romulus too yk

and mad props to fede alvarez, he explored some brilliant shit with this that i wouldn’t have thought of! i don’t have to like all of it in the movie, but it gives me answers for some questions and raises even more which i hope they explore further. alvarez in the interviews genuinely seems like he has respect for the entirety of the franchise, at its highs and lows, and he seemed to want to do right by it, which i think he accomplished very well

all the stuff with the zero gravity was new, the metamorphosis we actually got to see was new, the stuff with the rat was new, pretty much everything with the facehuggers, there was INTERESTING STUFF THAT GOT EXPLORED

and i do wanna talk about the wild end with kay and the nasty little child alien thing (which i will refer to as The Fucker) - and i’m gonna say it upfront - i liked it! it was good! it was scary (the Fucker is so eerie- you get used to seeing xenomorphs and then this thing shows up) and it was a good way to respect the additions that resurrection brought to the franchise, but i’ve noticed some people getting pressed over how it was so focused on kay’s pregnancy and the gorey birth stuff- which surprised me because i perceived it as both a more in-depth way to explore the alien biology aspects with the Fucker seen in resurrection and the prequels, but i also perceived it as a way to discuss the horrors of pregnancy and childbirth without the chestbursting aspect? like, we already had a chestburster with nevarro like an hour and a half earlier, if anything it being another chestburster would’ve just been weird considering they chekov’s gun’ed it with kay mentioning it in the first 30 minutes

and i’ve already seen a couple comments complaining about how none of the dudes got chestbursted or anything this time, which feels like such an odd comment to make considering of the main cast, it’s split evenly gender-wise and one of the men is an actual robot- gee it’s almost like there are more women in this movie ergo more likely for women to experience the horrific deaths? again if all you want is to see a cis white man get chestbursted the ‘normal’ way the original movie is still there, i promise kane still gets fucked up besties

all that being said i don’t know how to feel with the ash model, rook. i think it was a good way to set up a synthetic ‘villain’ and especially one with a familiar face, and i liked the character as a character, but the usage of a.i for rook is honestly something i don’t know how to feel about. i don’t condone a.i images (‘art’), and i don’t like deepfake, but it also seems like they made a good effort to respect ian holmes’ character and acting by also using practical effects and animatronics to the best of their ability. i would’ve preferred if they could’ve found a VA who could mimic the voice but since they didn’t, i’m just going to appreciate the effort to stay true to the characters of the wayland-yutani synthetics

all in all i had a great time with this movie, genuinely was so tense i forgot to finish my movie snacks, and i really hope they keep alvarez with the alien crew for a while cause i love the writing and the use of practical effects. i can understand some of the disappointment, but this ranks pretty damn close to aliens on my tier list - above it being alien and alien: isolation of course - definitely liked this one more than 3, Resurrection, Prometheus, and Covenant (but i still liked those ones don’t get me wrong they’re just not my favorites)

thanks for getting this far down!

[tortoisebore]

Fic recs?? It’s so hard to find good stuff😩

i’ll list a few of my recent favs, but first i’ll give u some tips & secrets ab how i find new fics 🥰

my first & biggest source—i snoop on everyone’s bookmarks. like everyone. if i read a fic i liked, i check that author’s bookmarks. if someone comments on my fic, i check their bookmarks. if i come across someone talking ab fic on the tl, i go to their ao3 and check their bookmarks. i’ve found so many great fics just by snooping on what other ppl are reading 🫶

my second most-used tactic: searching for tags & using filters. if i’m looking for something specific, i search the tags/pairings i want and make sure to exclude things i don’t want (i.e. i don’t usually want to read jegulus, so i make sure to exclude that pairing in my results. same goes w tags/ratings/warnings u don’t want). i’ll sort by date, kudos, and hits separately, and add anything that sounds interesting to my bookmarks to sort through later. ao3 really has the best filtering and tagging system out there, but a lot of times we don’t use it to its full capacity! if you want to read something specific there’s a very good chance someone has written it, you just need to search and filter your results so that you’re not just seeing the most recent stuff! (i also filter by word count a lot too bc i’m not always in the mood for something multi-chaptered or something that will take me multiple days to finish reading)

last, sometimes i’ll go into the main pairing tag i’m looking for and sort by kudos/hits/date/whatever and jump to like….the 30th page of results. there’s sooooo much stuff i miss just bc it gets lost in the flow of new/popular fics, so jumping to random deep-dive search results will help you find new stuff & come across fics & authors you haven’t seen before 💞💖💘

now here’s some of the stuff i’ve been enjoying lately!! 💞💖💘💕

love by the seaside by viwrites

this was very cute and a great quick read! remus is a disgruntled painter/barista recovering from a toxic relationship & sirius is the sweet, dashing stranger that he meets by accident on the beach one day. lots of early-morning coffee runs and nervous flirting with some christmas fluff as a treat

hurling crowbirds at mockingbars by wrappedup

y’all know i am typically NOT an exes to lovers kind of girlie. i find this trope very hard to read most of the time bc i am a huge baby, but this one was a quick read and the plot was overall very sweet! remus broke up with sirius & left the country out of the blue almost 10 years ago, and then comes back to town with a fiancé. sirius learns very quickly that he’s still hurt, and remus learns very quickly that he might have jumped the gun all those years ago.

in the dark there is discovery by lynxindisguise

wolfstar pirate au!! need i say more!!

disarm you with a smile by five_ht

listen to me. look me in my eyes. this is explicit as fuck and i encourage you to read every single one of the tags carefully. seriously read all of them. it will not be for everyone but like….,oh my fuxking god. sirius steals remus’ phone number while hanging out with his friend (remus’ niece) one day and starts sending him increasingly suggestive texts anonymously. it’s all fun and games until sirius starts to catch feelings & remus starts to get curious ab who he’s been talking to.

in the centre of a circle by moonheavens

reccing this again bc I HAVEN’T CAUGHT UP YET BUT IT’S SO SO GOOD i’m going after the latest chapter as SOOOOOON as i have the time this week 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 sirius lives with the lupins and is very much in love with remus. he consults various people for advice.