#but i’ve made an actual playlist for a npc

[ike-mcswains-mortician]

hello hello fellow lovely and talented artist that I happened to be mutuals with, can I learn more about your ocs? /nf they look so skrunkly and precious snndndndndndnrkelsofk /pos

HI HELLO!!! first off let me say that you’re so sweet wtf?? thank youuu gah i love my sillies and im honestly honored people want to hear abt them c:

second, sorry this took so long to answer hehe i wanted to post ref sheets for my characters and i realized i. dont have them. SO i had to doodle em up hehe

OKAYYYY first on the docket is wynn!

she’s my cleric in @locke-n-k3y’s campaign and she is pathetic <3. she has never stepped on a crunchy leaf and she just wants to Go Home. i can’t say much more cause of plot spoilers (glares at my other moots in the campaign /lh) but mayhap i will flood ur dms!

-

next is my character from my first ever campaign and her armpiece boyfriend! hehe

so fun fact they both hold titles: queen and bishop respectively, because the campaign took place in a demon’s chess game!! it was super fun hehe and max was originally an npc from leonora’s backstory BUT my dm brought him into the campaign proper and then i stole his character sheet so he’s MINE NOW.

leonora is actually the niece of the BBEG and her father was the patron of our party’s warlock! so some fun family dynamics there. max is rumored to be an insane necrophile because leonora is legally dead! fun!! and there’s a whole lot of backstory stuff i bombarded @thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls with hehe so they’re linked here, here, and here.

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next are some characters i love dearly but haven’t posted about much! starting with lorelei

…whose character playlist is 80% carrie underwood. if that gives you any indication of her vibes hehe. rambunctious child to a pious, uptight family, lorelei is off to discover herself and prove herself out of SPITE!! she’s a college of chance bard to be specific and she’s kind of just here for a good time not for a long time. also i accidentally made it canon that she has in fact fucked a dragon.

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and finishing off the roster of characters i’ve finished refs for: casimir (and his daughter veda!!)

so casimir is a necromancer whose wife left him after he was Consumed By The Horrors!! but his daughter stuck around and accidentally saw some stuff she wasn’t supposed to see, so his mentor had her killed as a way to teach casimir his place so to speak. he intended to give up his studies but then her ghost started appearing to him, and now it’s almost like she never left! also he is very much drowned cat in the dumpster energy as well. i love him dearly.

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i have some more characters but i didn’t get a chance to draw refs for them but i’ll sum them up briefly!!

j. “backfire” hicks is a pact of the trigger warlock who is quite literally just jimmy from the young riders but with magic guns instead of real ones lol. slightly altered backstory but not by much

and i have another warlock named derowyn, whose info is here! loosely based on the woodsman from over the garden wall, but a satyr whose brothers soul is in the lantern and if she tries to back out of the deal THEY becomes a tree hehe

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AAAH THAT WAS SO LONG SORRYYYYYY but i love getting able to talk about my sillies :D thank you for letting me infodump hehe

[kays-kg-works]

You ever find a character from a book, show, movie, etc. where you know they're like, a background character, but you are 100% obsessed with them because you personally can see what a huge amount of potential their character/story has? Like "(pats their shoulder twice) This baby can fit so much trauma in them" Because personally, I watched season 2 of The Legend of Vox Machina on Amazon Prime 2 whole days ago and one of the NPCs, Zanror, has always been one of my faves from the time I spent watching Critical Role Campaign 1 (made it up to about session 80 before I lost my drive to continue, still plan to finish eventually) and it's so funny AND tragic to me because NO ONE writes fic or draws fanart for him. I've found maybe 4 other people who barely even acknowledge his existence let alone actually like him as a character Meanwhile, I'm over here with songs for him on my Campaign 1 playlist, 3 story concepts floating around in my brain, a cobbled together character turnaround sheet of his design from TLoVM, and the start of a 3D model attempt based off said turnaround sheet I will carry the torch if I must

[brodingles]

Year in Review, 2022

I actually made a couple of these, because it was hard deciding what really encompassed my year. The version above is the one with my Aesthetic version, which has the pieces I think were the prettiest or most aesthetically pleasing ones I did for that month.

This post has my thoughts on the pieces and some overall thoughts on my progression through the year! I’ll post one with just the image afterwards.

January

I spent most of January coming off the end of IR and DMP, and as such I had a lot of. Juniper, Dorkus, and Angie on the brain. I actually made a few of these little comics. >:0 Dorkus is one of my favourite expressions I’ve done in a long time, and it lives in my army of Discord emotes haha.

This kind of WAS my meme for the month, my favourite thing overall.

February

This piece is actually part of a set that I did on stream! It’s part of a set. Keep this artstyle in mind, it will come back later!

Was still drawing Triad Shenanigans this month. I just wanted to share Discount Chocolate Dorkus.

Despite what it may seem like, I actually spent this month planning Tiny Gents! I made headshots for every important NPC for the first oneshot I ran ever in my life. Very shaky knees, but everything went well!!

March

I have no idea what came over me for this one I just went as feral as Barbeau haha. This HAD to be when we were talking about doing a certain DnD game, but the DM and players have been so busy all year we never played. Maybe 2023 is the year Barbeau comes into fruition??

Not the full comic and no Dorkus because I’ve already shared plenty of Dorkus and Juniper needs to be in here SOMEWHERE, but apparently I was still going strong with these in March?? Wild!

We ran the second(?) Tiny Gents session this month. I am including Tiny Gents because it was such a big part of the year in total haha. April

I actually don’t like this piece very much, if I’m honest, but I made it and that should be worth something!! I had the song Eyes Don’t Lie going on loop for this, and I put it on my Rememdium playlist, which is probably my most played playlist of the year (If not, it’s TG). This song is going to come up again, but it definitely put me in A Rememdium brainspace.

I actually spent the month drawing more Tiny Gents stuff. Pictured above is one of the “Feral Group” PCs (featuring Charming reading a book). I did some more character design stuff this month, mostly sketching traditionally.

May

This piece is actually from a LIST of pieces that I did in a row for the Song Meme. This one just looks the nicest when cropped to me haha.

I also redrew a classic comic with the newer designs for the TG RA’s. I...got so much done this month haha.

June

Pride! Emilio and (then) Geon! This was actually NOT the highlight of the month, because this month I created Aine!!

She just POPPED into existence while I was listening to Eyes Don’t Lie and then she took over my brain for a while. 

I also did more Tiny Gents art because I had brainrot all year.

July

ANTHONY TOKEN

So Anthony, my boy, came into existence a little before this month, but I didn’t draw him much or think about him much until AFTER I drew his token. Now I’m obsessed with the goober. I plan on redrawing this, I’m not as happy with it now.

I actually posted this one here recently, but I did this as a send off with the Feral Group for TG. They haven’t played since and I miss them ;v;

August

I did a lot of doodles? This month? It was a little slow. I created Hisscisca (the half orc) and Jamie (the pink goth). I actually did frames for an animatic done by @anatthema-art 

Also created another character with the help of @churrobird

Got back into Triad shenanigans and made Dorkus a gf. I also did a set of outfits for Juniper! I’ll try to post these separately, this post is getting long.

BUSY MONTH.

September

More Tiny Gents. I did so much Tiny Gents. Not so much art but just doing Tiny Gents.

BUT I ALSO WENT INTO ANTHONY BRAINROT

I HAVE SO MUCH ANTHONY. I DID AN ANIMATIC FOR ANTHONY I WEEP. I SOB. I CRY.

October

I drew this one in a haste and for love of the game to do MOTI’s Songtober! It was a really fun piece to do, and I’m surprised I have not done more fanart for this game ohoho. Omori made a big impact on my art.

I also tried really hard to do a TG comic this month, and I did 3 pages. Hooray! I can’t find it in my files, but it sure is a thing I did.

I also did like...3 birthday pieces because I have so many OCs with October birthdays.

I actually also spent this month working on an even bigger project...

 So Monkey’s Paw is not mentioned ANYWHERE in this summary, and that’s because I forgot I had to do a ton of art for it despite it consuming my being for several months. It is a surprise I got anything else done, really. I don’t even remember when I drew these-- technically they should be earlier. I’m glad the song and video are out haha. Also yes I put an Omori reference in the video.

November

This piece kind of changed how I approach my pieces in general? There was a lot of reference gathering and editing that went into it, even though it didn’t take long to actually draw. I just wanted to try something cool, and it seems to have succeeded.  Really this month I did a bunch of cool art with Anthony, I’m also quite fond of the sword piece.

I have so many feelings about this image you don’t understand.

December

I actually don’t know if the person I did this for has a Tumblr, but it was a Secret Santa gift! I did other smaller pieces this month, a lot of them, actually, but I mostly just chilled out. December was very reflective for me personally, and I became so grateful for things that happened this year. This summary is very visual heavy and I apologize for that, but there’s so much art to share this time around and I wanted to do that! Conclusion

I spent this year working mostly on my own projects, which was very surreal. I’m very grateful for being able to do that, and would like to continue working on projects throughout 2023 as well!

[delphiniumarchangelmoon]

Tell us about your spotify playlists I adore playlist lore /silly /nf

I actually don’t even use Spotify anymore cause they started to piss me off, now I have a notebook that I write them down in and put little stickers and decorations on them which really sets the scene for my thought process tbh.

Most of my playlists both then and now are fandom related but I never actually title them as such it’s always something vague because I cannot deal with being Known.

The thing about THAT is due to the adhd and how long I’ve been in certain fandoms, I’m hardly making proper fandom playlists anymore. It’s not “this is a playlist about Bram from Bungo Stray Dogs” it’s “this is a playlist about an AU that only exists in my head based off a tumblr shitpost about how the greasy rat man has a fetish for guys with long silver hair”

And that’s how the songs Angeleyes- ABBA, I, Carrion-Hozier, Deja Vu- Olivia Rodrigo, Before he Cheats- Carrie Underwood, and Milk and Honey- Hazel English ended up on the same playlist.

My Minecraft playlists are even worse back in the day I had like three separate playlists dedicated to various npc’s Oli Orionsound was in love with on different servers. I had a playlist for the goddamn butler in rats smp. It was like 30 songs long.

Anyway.

A list of some of my favorite artists includes

Kacey Musgraves

Dog Park Dissidents (saw them live earlier this month it was incredible!)

SailemFromHell (my most obscure pick they’re so underrated)

Garth Brooks (unfortunately hard to find his stuff online he’s very cagey abt uploads :( but VERY much worth a listen he’s one of the top selling artists of all time for a reason)

Switchblade Symphony

Poppy

Slutever

Johnny Cash

Hozier (…they can’t all be weird and obscure picks! I am not immune to the Hozier)

…

And here’s a picture of + a transcript of a list I just made today!

Not gonna say who it’s for y’all either know or you don’t.

I find that doing them on paper helps me pare down to just songs that really suit the theme so my recent ones are a lot more condensed and sensible even if the genre varies a lot, I’m proud of this one (even if a certain someone kept hogging the list. But like half her songs are about this topic!)

TRICK

Clown- Switchblade Symphony

Breadwinner- Kacey Musgraves

Terror Couple Kill Colonel- Bauhaus

Solitaire- MARINA

Los Ageless- St. Vincent

Sympathy is a Knife- Charli XCX

Start Together- Sleater Kinney

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang- Specimen

Oh Ana- Mother Mother

Power and Control- MARINA

Some Unholy War- Amy Winehouse

Crazy- Patsy Cline

The Size of Our Love- Sleater Kinney

Hopelessly Devoted to You- Olivia Newton John

Bust your Kneecaps- Pomplamoose

E.V.O.L- MARINA

Happier Than Ever- Billie Eilish

Favorite Crime- Olivia Rodrigo

🤍🖤🤍🖤

[iamshay]

Beaming on new platform

I’ll share some more facts. I will never stop talking about it until it reaches people. Never set yourself up for failure on Rumble. There are bigger oceans out there that will welcome you better. Don’t be loyal to a platform that only looks out for itself. The moment you point out the truth, there’s no such thing as free speech. Go to those who will listen and welcome you. Multi-streaming is the key, and if you grow on that platform, make it your own. If that platform goes down, it’s a shame, but you can just direct your community to a platform that is still standing. YouTube is here to stay.

You can send your Twitch, Kick, or Rumble followers to YouTube because these platforms are botting. As long as you obey the rules on YouTube, you’ll be fine. I’m a streamer who plays video games. Just avoid listening to music that could get you copyrighted. There are many YouTube video playlists that are allowed and not taken down because they feature custom music remixes. I always listen to that type of music on stream. I’m building up my community on this new platform, and I haven’t figured out the YouTube stuff yet, but I will definitely start streaming on YouTube. I’m doing well on this new platform, I had 715 views on the first day and 2,000 yesterday on one time. Today, i start stream late so had 70 viewers even that is pretty dope, so it’s similar to TikTok,you need to stream at Asian times for the perfect audience. Just playing COD i had people tune in. They so cute they using google translate just speak to me. The fact even they dont understand much they willing sit there and just watch and give you follow. its global platform.

Let's go! 🫶 Just finished playing the story mode of both Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 and Modern Warfare 3 campaign's on both. We're killing it on the new platform, trying to level up my account. It's similar to Mixer, which I love. The more you level up, the more features you unlock. I miss Mixer, so this is the closest I can get. Next going to finish far cry 6 game. All organically Ashwell.

Unlike Kick, Twitch, and Rumble, where all you see are viewbotters and talentless, unentertaining streams that don’t interact with the chat, I make it a point to read out people's names when they enter my stream. It makes them feel special and actually keeps them around. On Rumble, Kick, and even Twitch, you find a bunch of NPCs. Sadly, these streamers have huge egos and flex on their fake viewers. Since these platforms lack integrity and competent ownership, they just hand money to these people, even though they know they’re botting.

When you put in hard work and get views organically, that’s when you can proudly flex because you made it without cheating. They’re afraid of me becoming big, which is why I’ve been shadowbanned everywhere. It’s super obvious when I start streaming on a brand-new platform and get views, but on Kick, Rumble, or Twitch, these people with mental disorders and pathetic lives are so obsessed with me. They go around telling people in power to sabotage my account, making sure I get shadowbanned in search engines. A lot of people know this is happening behind the scenes.

See the picture look up👆. I told you. This is what the staff on Kick is doing. It’s so embarrassing for grown men to be this desperate for validation it’s such unprofessional behavior. There’s more to come it just not that. Not just her!

People don’t realize that if platforms like Kick or Rumble control the narrative, they hold the power. Rumble is a dead platform, which is why it’s only 7th on StreamCharts. Unknown platforms are still leading. That’s why Rumble is desperate, going around begging people to pay for their useless premium service. They put all their bets on Sneako, and now he’s moving to Kick and will stream on Twitch starting October 1st, from what I’ve heard. It was just a matter of time. They had egos when they got Andrew Tate, but nobody would have even heard of that platform if he hadn’t spoken about it. I actually signed up in 2022 the moment Andrew mentioned it. Who even watches Rumble videos? It’s just a bunch of canceled people on there. Nobody cares about political channels.

You know these platforms have done something to my account. I’m even shadowbanned on Twitter because these people know I’m pretty good at networking. The fact that they’re harassing big names and talking behind my back only God knows what they’ve been telling them. Imagine being so obsessed with me that you go around talking about me and begging others to ignore and stay away from me, even though these people have nothing to do with their petty drama. That they so press to be dictate over whom they should be friend with this what competent admin and owner of kick simp over 304 girls whom jealous of that i actual use my brain and personality get views they had with their power aka send nudes or do behind some weird shit. I have already expose people with screenshot on my tumblr whom these people are. This what people on kick in kcip program these people be doing.

This is the reality we live in that people sell their souls for money, sinking so low as to send inappropriate images to staff just to get favoritism. Oh yes, I said inappropriate images. Some even marry mods who are probably the ones botting because that 'that whale chick on kick ' isn’t smart enough for tech to do it herself, and she is not smart. flexing her degree we don't give shit. probably cheat in school too. Anyone viewbotting its clear they cheated in school. Its common cheaters do cheat in everything in life.

I’ve heard from many people that she has sent nudes, and I know for a fact that admins are also simping in the pool section, with Andrew from Kick telling them to mention his name to get partnered. These people need to be called out.

It’s the same with Rumble, where they simp for a guy whose wife does porn. The fact that I called them out led to them removing my checkmark. They know that if they didn’t stop me, I would have dominated them. The first time I streamed, I had 100 viewers organically on Rumble, and out of jealousy, they accused me of botting. I’m not dumb like them, wasting money on buying bots. I actually have a life and bills to pay. I’ve got my priorities straight, as well as my morals and principles. Yet all those bots, like Lumpypotato, only have 15 subs. You know it’s botting if someone claims to have all those VODs and only has 16 or 15 subs on Rumble. People are super gullible. I will share something yall should look into there is person on twitter whom actually show make you guys can see for yourself in better context and visually.

Xo. Shay

[rockingatnothing]

Why does my brain get attached to npcs so easily.

[superhousecat-once-again]

Elliot Wiseman is filled with dark humor, resentment, and love for her brother. Although not necessarily in that order.

(Anyways, check out @mindblindbard)

[stomp-that-ho-regard]

Retcon

noun

(in a film, television series, or other fictional work) a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events, typically used to facilitate a dramatic plot shift or account for an inconsistency.

verb

revise (an aspect of a fictional work) retrospectively, typically by introducing a piece of new information that imposes a different interpretation on previously described events.

Retroactive Continuity

Reframing past events to serve a current plot need. [...] In its most basic form, this is any plot point that was not intended from the beginning. [...]

Post-hiatus C2, and the Great Retcon... 

(The retconning really started with the playlists, but we’ll come back to those.)

First, some context:

SDCC (July ‘18) - Marisha was asked directly about Beau and Yasha and if she and Ashley had discussed it. “After the first few times that I kinda put the moves on her, we were at break, and I could sense that Ashley was wanting to ask me something. And she was like, ‘Hey, I’m just curious... is Beau- ’ And at that exact moment someone’s like, ‘Yo Ashley! We gotta go! We gotta get on stage!’ And I was like, ‘Bye!’” Then Brian asked, “And you haven’t had a further conversation about it?” Marisha said, “Nope!”

(Seven months into the campaign, and no discussions. Hmm.)

NYCC (Oct. ‘18) - Marisha was asked about who would Beau get flustered over if they ever flirted back, and yes, she said Yasha and laughed, but then said, “It’s like throwing pebbles at a brick wall.” Meaning, she was putting stuff out there and not getting anything back. (And, she really wasn’t. I still remember when a major portion of the fandom, including the diehard shippers [of which I was one at the time], weren’t sure if Ashley was even interested in this. More than that, it wasn’t until the Zuala reveal, that the fandom and the players found out for certain that Yasha was actually into women.) 

(To me, Marisha’s answer here also suggests that at this point, there were still no discussions.)

Talks Machina for ep61 (May ‘19) - Marisha was asked ‘What was going through Beau's mind when Yasha revealed her past with Zuala? Has this changed any feelings Beau might have? Or has Beau's character growth allowed her to mature a little more with regards to her feelings about Yasha?’ Which Marisha instantly pegged as a shipping question. And she said, “I’m trying to figure out a way to answer this to not ruin everyone’s internal canon, in their brains. I don’t want people to overestimate Beau’s intentions towards Yasha. But then also, is that on me? Have I been leading everybody on?”

So, you had all of that, all the way up to ep61.

None of this indicates that ‘it’s been happening since ep1′ or that it’s ‘the slowest of slow burns.’ In fact, it shuts that down completely.

Moving forward to the Beau and Fjord convo (ep108)...

Marisha suddenly having Beau say “There was something about Yasha from the moment that I saw her”. She’s retrospectively attempting to give that moment more weight, when (based on the examples above) we know that the over-the-top flirting was just for fun. And truthfully, she really wasn’t flirting with Yasha any differently than she was flirting with any hot female NPC the party crossed paths with.

And now it’s clear that that one line she said is the reason why BY shippers have suddenly clung on to the idea that “It’s been happening since episode one! SLOooOowBuUuuUrn!!!!!” when its clear that it was not planned. (Not before the hiatus-from-hell, anyway.)

Then Marisha having Beau go from describing Jester as “She's fun. She makes me laugh. I like her ridiculous plans. I think she's complicated and layered.” to “It’s easy to lust after her”. I’ll direct you to Talks for ep85. After Marisha had mentioned that it was a bunch of little things that build, and then pinpointed a few of them, Brian tried to make a joke and said “So you’re saying it’s been more a series, than just one moment that you can point to and say ‘It was right here when I went, let’s fuck!’” Marisha specifically countered that with “It’s not even about 'let’s fuck’. It’s nothing sexual in this case.” (Having her backpedal on this so heavily was such a huge gut punch and was the thing that wholly soured everything for me.)

There were so many better, more delicate ways Marisha could’ve had Beau examine/come to grips with her feelings for both women, but all the reduction and saying they were ‘transferable’ was nothing short of insulting.

On that same Talks episode, Marisha also said this: “Going into this campaign all of us were like, ‘No relationships!’ I didn’t want it! I didn’t ask for this!”, while smiling. What this shows me is that she was thinking of a relationship in regards to Beau’s feelings for Jester. As if she was maybe even anticipating this culminating into something? Why even mention relationships at all if this was nothing serious and was always meant to fall by the wayside?

Brian then followed up with, “In my opinion, as a viewer, Beau’s someone who seems to be on the search for innocence. Whether innocence lost or just innocence in general. And to me it makes sense that you would be attracted to someone who exudes genuine and sort of intrinsic innocence.” Marisha replied with “Fairly astute.”

The next question was, ‘Beau has taken a pretty casual, no-strings-attached approach toward sex and relationships so far. How do her feelings for Jester compare to her previous romantic flings?’ Marisha answered immediately and very seriously with, “Noncomparable. It’s more than that.” She wasn’t playing coy and it didn’t take her a century to find the words. She didn’t even have to think about it. Succinct and direct.

How did all of that ‘organically’ disappear completely, after only 14 episodes?

(Everything felt more genuine back then, because it seemed like Marisha was going where the character was taking her, and not where she thought the character should be going.)

Post-hiatus, everyone and their mother are acting like BY is some epic romance-of-the-ages that was all mapped out, and like Beau having feelings for Jester was just some sort of temporary curveball. That Beau was confused, or was just missing Yasha and projected onto Jester. 

That’s really fucked up no matter how you try to justify it. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen another piece of media backpedal this hard, and this callously.

None of that squares with what we were shown or with what we were told. Until, everybody made a hard pivot and now they've done (and continue to) do everything they can to rewrite campaign history, even though we have plenty of footage that contradicts the new ‘company line’.

Now, where the retconning truly began, with the playlists...

Remember the first round of playlists? Those were released randomly, whenever the cast felt like posting them. I also don’t remember there being announcements every time one came out either.

This time though, they had a fixed schedule, complete with official twitter announcements. As they started to just get back into the swing of things, Yasha’s playlist was released right after the first episode back.

So, right out of the gate, they had to make sure they started to drill home a certain mindset for viewers. That’s why Yasha had a song called ‘Let Me Hold You’. (Lo and behold, a few episodes in, Beau randomly asks Yasha to hold her.)  A few weeks later, Beau’s playlist was released, and there was a song with the caption saying ‘Ultimately, all she really wants is someone to hold, and someone to hold her’. (But sure, no planning here! The wording is just a total coincidence, folks!)  

The other song, directly about Yasha, mentions ‘a crush forged in battle’ (ok), and ‘awkward flirtations’ (???). Yasha never openly flirted with Beau before the hiatus, until maybe right after the Obann arc, in a very vague way.

On Beau’s playlist, there’s nothing about Jester. The one track that mentions her is actually about Artagan. Which, after all they’ve been through together, is fucking ridiculous no matter how you slice it.

In addition to that, Marisha had made Beau’s time in Kamordah (ep92/e93), and the incidents with her family and the Hag, about the group now, not about Jester, fully contradicting her own reiterated words that ‘Jester saved Beau’.

When Beau was talking to her dad, reverting back to her old self and getting all riled up, Jester helped her in that moment, and saved her. Yes, the group was very supportive, and yes, Yasha said something to him before they left the house (that Beau was out of earshot for by the way), but Jester was Beau’s rock throughout that whole thing. 

With the Hag, when the group was having a hard time coming up with a solution, and they realized they might actually lose Beau, Jester stepped up and took control of the situation. She, single-handedly, saved Beau/the group from the Hag. And with that, Jester also became Beau’s hero.

In both instances, Marisha thanked Laura/Jester. First on Talks for ep92 with both of them on it. She reiterated, “You saved me. You saved Beau.” Then on Twitter after ep93 with, “Still processing last night. Saved by a cupcake? Eh - saved by @LauraBaileyVO ... again.” 

But now suddenly, it’s the group. Just the group? 

Now, don’t get me wrong. The entire party showing Beau support was incredibly important. The M9 showed her that they value her, that she’s important to them. It solidified the theme of ‘found family’, which was beautiful. But, to not also highlight how crucial Jester was in all of this, after making such a big deal about it? 

That is very deliberate retconning of some hugely important, highly emotional moments for Beau that directly involved Jester.

Any of Beau’s organic and genuine connection with Jester (which encompasses their deep friendship as well as Beau’s romantic feelings) has been massively reduced (and now erased), specifically to prop up a supposed ‘deep’ connection with someone else that was barely ever there, is still barely there, and has no actual depth at all.

Case in point, the BY date (ep126) showcased this fact to the most extreme degree...

Yasha’s infamous line: “I fell in love with you in Kamordah.” So, Yasha literally watched Beau relive her childhood trauma, and caught feelings during it. I’m not wrong in thinking that that’s just a little disturbing, am I? Also, if that’s the moment she supposedly fell for her, why did she not offer her any form of help? I mean, besides that one sweet moment with TJ, the entire time Beau was in Kamordah, she was the most broken down she’d ever been and needed some real comfort, which is something Yasha did not give her. (Jester did though. In spades.)

So, on multiple levels, this seems highly out-of-place. 

Several people have said that that line was not thought through. In my opinion, it actually was thought through and was only said specifically to have viewers completely dismiss everything else that happened in the Kamordah episodes. Despite the FACT that Beau and Yasha barely interacted during those episodes, they have now stripped down the party’s experience there, and twisted it into a giant BY shipping moment. (Further feeding into the retcon.)

Their ‘trip down memory lane’ was laughable. Most of the things that were mentioned, Yasha wasn’t even around for. 

Gee, remember when the cast was actually good at separating what they knew from what their character knew? When you start injecting what you know into your character (who isn’t supposed to know, because they literally were not physically there), you are metagaming. 

The entire date was one big metagaming bonanza. And it had to be, or else they would’ve had nothing to talk about. There is not one thing they have to call their own. To people who don’t have BY tunnel vision, it was made glaringly obvious that they have nothing in common and their dynamic is fairly shallow. Meanwhile, the rest of the cast are sitting there watching this unfold, smiling and nodding along as if it all makes perfect sense and isn’t utterly ridiculous. (And I’m sitting here wondering when I got shunted into the Twilight Zone.)

The shallowness holds true for FJ as well. Aside from both of them being from the Menagerie Coast, what exactly do they have in common?

While Fjord has grown as a character, as far as Jester goes, he still does not seem to have the capacity to fully understand her as a person, or fully respect her abilities/emotional strength/intelligence. He doubted her often, which led to Jester getting irritated with him several times over the course of at least the last third of the pre-hiatus episodes. He even continued to doubt her judgment (in regards to the Traveler) in the post-hiatus Rumblecusp episodes. But hey, they’ve kissed now (ep118) so all of that gets wiped clean, and he’s being touted as her ultimate romantic soulmate who’s oh-so-perfect for her.

For fuck’s sake, why does that sound like something pulled right out of a CW show?

(I'm convinced that the only reason FJ is ‘popular’ is because the shippers have projected Travis and Laura’s real-life marriage onto the characters. If Fjord and Jester were played by different people, or Travis and Laura were not together, people would realize how paper-thin and half-assed this pairing is and hardly anyone would care about it.) 

Beau and Jester had developed the deepest, most genuine friendship and overall dynamic in the entire party, that should have absolutely been given the chance to be explored further. They constructed a pretty solid foundation that could have easily been built upon, and the fact that it’s been unceremoniously pulverized and snuffed out in favor of such overwhelming tepidity and flavorlessness will never not infuriate me.

Finally, to finish this off, I will say with my whole chest, that that is one of many nasty, rotten patterns that I’ve seen far too much of in all kinds of scripted media, which is...

Not wanting to commit to the thing that’s actually growing organically, because it’ll ruffle too many feathers. It’s too inconvenient. It gets in the way. Because of course, nobody wants to do that. Nobody wants to take a risk, or you know, actually follow where the natural fucking chemistry is taking you. Of course not! Heaven forbid, we go down a different road! You have to go with what’s ‘expected’, no matter what, at the great expense of something new that’s come along that’s clearly better. Even when what’s expected is hollow as fuck and doesn’t make sense anymore, because characters have grown and dynamics have changed, they decide to dig their heels in with the most fanservice-y options instead.

Yet this is UNSCRIPTED media. A D&D campaign, that’s supposed to be mostly improvised. D&D, that’s all about taking chances/going with your gut/making bold choices/etc., from people who have claimed up and down that they “like to see things play out at the table”.

So why are those same disingenuous patterns being utilized here too?

One of the big reasons I got into CR was because I naively believed that because the format was different, that the storytelling would be different. I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about running into this nonsense here. That I wouldn’t have to worry about getting bullshitted, jerked around, and having my intelligence insulted left and right, but alas, here we are.

In conclusion...  [TL;DR, kinda?]

Reframing past events (between B & J, and B & Y) to serve a current plot need (railroading BY):                                                                                      

Beau playlist ignores Jester’s importance to what transpired in Kamordah. (minimizing/erasure)

Beau playlist doesn’t acknowledge/hint at Beau’s feelings for Jester. (total erasure. could have at least included a song about feelings being lost, or being confused about feelings for a friend, but Marisha took the cowardly route, and didn’t bother mentioning it at all.)

Beau playlist claims that Beau and Yasha have both been flirting forever. (easily debunked by session footage.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “There was something about Yasha from the moment I saw her”. (it was just about hooking up then, and stayed that way for a majority of the campaign. This line suggests that Beau has had ‘deeper feelings’ for and/or has been ‘in love’ with Yasha since the first episode, that this was all intentional build-up, which again, is easily debunked by session footage, panels, and TM.)

In her conversation with Fjord, Beau says, “It’s easy to lust after her.” (minimizing/erasure/twisting of Beau’s feelings for Jester, which Marisha had previously stated were ‘noncomparable’ , ‘more than that’, and that her attraction is ‘nothing sexual in this case.’)

This isn’t a fucking conspiracy theory. This is plain evidence of a planned retcon.

[nickandros]

i saw that ask about you running a d&d campaign, i've just started learning how to dm, do you have any tips or advice for a newbie? i'm using one of the pre-made campaigns but would love to make my own someday!

oh i actually do!!

dming is really fun and one of the hardest creative things i've ever done in my life. i'm also working within a preexisting world (dragon age), though i probably never would again because i actually find it VERY limiting and frustrating given one of the things i'm quite decent at is worldbuilding.

the first thing i would recommend is consuming a lot of media similar to the campaign setting/story. rpg video games are very helpful because they follow a similar kind of structure to tabletop rpg, and can help you organise the way you think about your campaign. one thing i started doing halfway through the campaign, which i WISH i had done from the beginning, was i started to keep a quest journal. i wrote down every "quest" the characters got involved in, and what potential outcomes or separate quests they could lead to. i also keep a running list of important npcs. if you start with these two things, you'll find it much easier to keep tabs on everything that's happening in your campaign. i got this idea mainly from oblivion/skyrim, and here is an example of the main quest entry:

giving the quests dumb little names is surprisingly helpful in setting the tone i'm trying to create for each quest. i also have other quest sections like side quests, location based quests, companion quests, and quests related directly to each other the player characters backstories. ideas for these quests come from video games, books, tv/films, other d&d campaigns, and mythology. the more media you consume, the more ideas you'll find!

kind of leading on from that is the idea of tone and narrative. this is something i really struggled with to begin with, and something i think you'll only find through trial and error. starting with tone: i personally find combat in d&d to be quite tedious if not done well. i don't use battle maps and mini figurines, i prefer to describe it as best i can, and trust that the players can also visualise it themselves. this is mainly to do with resources, but also because i don't spend a lot of time with combat. it's something i'm trying to get better with, but it's also not something i think is entirely necessary to our campaign. that's because the tone of our campaign is very story focused, and the players rely much more on diplomacy and perception than they do on strength and combat. it was these things i noticed which led me to building a campaign that is ultimately a political thriller/horror, and realising that i think marked a point in the campaign where a lot of things improved dramatically. when it comes to tone: play to your strengths!! tone influences narrative in a major way too. after figuring out how to create suspense and intrigue, it was much easier to place the characters into situations that allowed for more of those moments. creating npcs that fit the tone of your story also help carry the narrative. the first major npc i created was the Big Bad, and she wasn't revealed as a character until very recently. but she was still controlling aspects of the story behind the scenes. one thing i found very helpful was to keep running tabs on npcs that were no longer directly interacting with the players, but still considering what they would be doing on their own, what their motivations would be, how they would be shaping the world too. this is also very valuable for story moments later down the line!

on the more practical side of things, one tip i have is to be honest with your players, and take breaks whenever you need to. i've called off sessions before, and it sucks, but i feel like it's better to give the players a good session later on, then try to rush out a crap session just to make your weekly slot. however i also recommend as much as you are able, keep regular sessions. we are very lucky to be a relatively small group in which 3 of us live in the same house. it was quite easy for us to have weekly sessions, and if you can manage it, i highly recommend it. it will help you keep up with your campaign, and remember where you were at more easily. i find i have a lot of my best ideas directly after a session, and if i wait too long, i will forget most of them.

i have a lot more advice, but this has gotten quite long!! i'm happy to answer any more specific questions, from ambiance playlists to sharing more of my planning documents to creating npcs!! i love dming a lot, and am by no means an expert (or even particularly GOOD) but i am happy to try and help where i can!!!

[orime-stories]

Saturday, August, September, and Ancient for the fic ask meme?

Thank you! <3 Asks here.

Saturday - What gets you excited whilst writing?

I absolutely love the initial ideas stage, when a new OC has just been born and I'm daydreaming about them 24/7, slowly figuring out who they are and how they fit into their game world. What's their background/personality? What plot threads are especially relevant to them? What npcs do they form particular relationships with? I just love those first steps so much, when there's still so much left to discover and play with and nothing's nailed down yet. And those satisfying moments of those new ideas slotting together and coalescing into what feels like an actual person. The notes app on my phone becomes an absolute riot to navigate at this stage, and I love it.

August - Are any of your fics associated with certain genres/artists/songs?

I have a playlist for Seluna's Story here, and I did recently add a new song to it too - Evanescence's Artifact/The Turn. It gives me big Watcher returning to their body at the beginning of Deadfire vibes. I'd really like to have more playlists for my characters (as well as to get off my arse and release more of those characters into the wild for people to get to know), so that's something I plan to be chipping away at more often in the future.

September - Share a comment or review which still warms your heart

Seluna's Story has so many lovely comments on it, and I absolutely read through them all when I'm looking for a pick-me-up or a writing motivation boost. And given who's on the line right now, I feel a mighty need to share this particularly beautiful one that was left on Chapter 30;

"I've been going through this fic and each chapter, and I really love it! I love how you focus and expand on so many little moments, especially character moments. Seluna's struggle to figure out how to live up to her calling as a priest is very moving and very fitting with the setting and themes of POE 1 as well. I love how sweet she and Aloth and Edér are; it's such a lovely ship, and you get their voices really well. I also loved the bit with Kana helping Seluna to figure out how to heal herself; I love clever ways to interpret magic like that, especially through something like self-love."

Ancient - The first fic you ever posted online?

That would be World of Warcraft stuff on fanfiction.net. My edgy blood elf hasn't made it over to AO3 yet, but I did clean up and repost my draenei's introduction here.

[hzdtrees]

Daybrink

It took me until the completion of Queen’s Gambit and the cutscene playing that I realised “daybrink” was in fact a giant lake the game makes you swim across, and not some kind of fancy metaphor for dawn.

As I’ve mentioned before, I first came into contact with HZD through a Youtube LP. Back then, location names were one of my smallest concerns, and with the game being filed under “will never play” afterwards, I also never felt the need to rectify that. What I didn’t file away, however, was the soundtrack, and “Across The Daybrink” made it into one of my writing playlists. I’d forgotten at which point of the game it plays, so my assumption that it played as an ambient soundtrack during sunrise was based purely on its sound.

Then, while playing, I also didn’t pay much attention to what the NPCs called each location, as I came to define them through machine sites rather than their actual, canon names. It was also much easier to talk about where I was in the game with friends if I told them I’d just come upon those two corrupted Rockbreakers in Behemoth country in your search for a nearby metal flower only to find that beneath those arches, there are three Ravagers patrolling, and the metal flower sits on a rise nearby, meaning killing those three Ravagers was avoidable had I checked my focus first.

The Daybrink is also a great place to sink your time into, if you want to. There’s multiple small islands the majority of which seem, so far, accessible, and while there are Snapmaw sites especially on the Brightmarket shore, they’re fairly easily avoided, so one can splash around all day. And in the meantime witness the destruction of young love.

[illegiblewords]

Fic Writer Meme

Swiped this because it looked like fun!

Name

Fandoms

Most popular oneshot

Most popular multichapter

Actual worst part of writing

How you choose your titles

Do you outline

Ideas I probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?

Callouts @ Me

Best writing traits

Spicy Tangential Opinion

Tagging: @nilim, @azwoodbomb, @wouldyouliketoseemymask, @parvus-pica, @peregrineroad, @spiral-seeker, @frostmantle, @autumnslance, @strangefellows, @redbud-tree, @maccaroni-eh, @entropytea, @prettyparadoxes, @ivalane, @kunstpause, @fogfens

Name: Illegible or Illegiblewords lately. I’ve switched it in the past a few times.

Fandoms: I’ve been in Final Fantasy XIV for the past couple of years now. Passively I might be in Pathologic fandom and Dragon Age fandom? Maybe others too on and off. I was in comic fandoms for a long time but honestly that spiraled into a hot mess of epic proportions so I’ve mostly peaced out of there. Still love stories, characters, and buddies from there though.

Most Popular Oneshot: Ironically it’s Ideation for Bladerunner 2049 haha. I did exactly one fic there right after seeing the movie and didn’t go back, but I thought it was very good and I had a specific story I wanted to tell. It’s one of my most popular fics, and given it’s gen too I’m actually kind of happy about that.

Most Popular Multichapter: The Immortal Wound for FFXIV fandom! I had only just started writing for the fandom, and the series leading up to this fic was my first time writing NPC shipping in FFXIV. I was seriously, SERIOUSLY nervous at first! I wrote the first fic, Posturing, as a personal challenge to do an ambiguous protagonist/NPC since I saw other people doing that and wanted to see if I could pull it off. Posted it at around 4 in the morning then deleted within a few minutes out of anxiety lol. A week went by before I read it again, realized I still liked it, and put it back up for good. That being well-received helped encourage me to keep trying, and by The Immortal Wound it was getting solid attention. The experience really meant a lot to me!

Actual Worst Part of Writing: Probably chapter maps within the outlining process for me. It’s needed for how I approach things, but shit is anxiety-inducing and stressful af lol. I basically plan each event out in high detail before actually writing the fic, so when the time comes for me to legit write I’m more or less following a plan I can trust. Making that plan is the tough part.

How Do You Choose Your Titles: Often titles are the last things I figure out before starting the fic itself. I know I like punchy stuff if I can manage. Sometimes it’ll be one word, sometimes it’ll be a quote or song lyric, sometimes it’ll be a saying, sometimes it’ll be a phrase that feels fitting. I go fast and loose usually, and tbh I’ve tried to tell myself not to overthink it too hard. I do try title related works in ways that have some thematic link when I can.

Do You Outline: HahahahahaHAHAHAHAhaha yeah. Straight up my outlines are eldritch terrors for their detail, length, and complexity. I don’t mean that as a brag at all, seriously--I tend to get frozen a bit if I don’t have an outline by and large because it’s hard for me to keep track of what’s in my head and plan accordingly. Just end up with too many moving parts + revision and pacing get wonky otherwise.

Depending on the project I might have sections tied to setting, characters, magic systems, religions, etc. at the top. Fanfic this is less likely but does crop up sometimes.

To give an example of the first bullet of the first chapter of an ongoing fic:

Post-Shinryu, the Warrior of Light lingers in the Royal Menagerie alone at his own insistence to search for the Eye of Nidhogg. In the process he remembers the fight against Zenos and Shinryu. Note he was overcome by an almost feral rage at Zenos’ assumption that he was the target of anything resembling lust. Those attentions (“bite down upon my jugular”) belong to another, but note similarities of two pale-eyed, long-haired blondes. Seeing Shinryu, the Warrior had no idea whether Lahabrea survived within. The fusion was horrifying to see and as he fought he didn’t hold back because besides obvious dangers, he was also ready to mercy kill if needed. Also note Warrior wanted to intervene against Thordan for Lahabrea but wasn’t fast enough, questions a little privately how far he’d have gone against him. It might not have mattered even if he’d managed since he knows Lahabrea was going crazy and unable to listen. Locating and examining the Eye, he recognizes how drained it is. Certainly not enough to threaten him when dealing with post-battle exhaustion. So he reaches inside with his own aether, relentless in pushing aside every foreign element—Nidhogg, Thordan, the corrupted Rhalgr, the places Zenos caged them all under his own will. Zodiark’s tempering is what helps him ultimately find Lahabrea, who is barely alive. Zodiark’s tempering has preserved what it could but has a much more tenuous grip in consequence. When the Warrior finds him Lahabrea isn’t even aware, functionally unconscious. The tempering flares against him defensively and this time the Warrior focuses on it. This is all that has allowed Lahabrea to stay alive. He could force himself closer but there is no vessel. Besides, the process of separating a fragile soul so deficient in aether is too great a risk. So he keeps the Eye.

It’s not the only bullet of comparable size for that chapter. The overall piece has at least 40 total chapters, but probably more.

Ideas I Probably Won’t Get Around To, But Wouldn’t It Be Nice: Tbh probably some of the earlier WIPs I have that aren’t finished already. Not just FFXIV (Dead Language, With Good Intentions) but other fandoms. I could end up circling back in the future one day but who knows.

Callouts @ Me: “NO MORE WIPS HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE OVER 20″, “RELEARN HOW TO DO DRABBLES”, “GET UR PRESENTS DONE”, “REVIEW OTHERS MORE THE STAGE FRIGHT IS RIDICULOUS”.

Best Writing Traits: I try to write any character as the hero of their own story/with the capacity to be someone’s favorite. I do my research and prioritize telling a good story first and foremost. I can change my writing style according to need and am good at capturing the cadence and word choices of different characters.

Spicy Tangential Opinion: If no transaction has been made (esp. monetary), no one owes you shit online. Not reviews, not hits, not praise, not agreement, not content of any sort. It sucks to feel like you’re creating to a void. It sucks to be passionately in love with a rarepair when other ships are drowning in art and stories.

People still don’t owe you.

If you don’t like someone else’s content, create something exploring what you do like... or even why you don’t like that content. Tell a story. Create art. Make photosets and playlists and analyses. If it is not a literal crime (as opposed to portraying fictional crime), don’t discourage other creators no matter how awful you might find their stuff. Lend your own voice to an alternative as convincingly as you can. And if that doesn’t persuade others, you need to keep honing your own skills.

If you want more of something to exist, spread inspiration. Again this can be in storytelling, art, photosets, playlists, analysis, you name it. Give form to your passion. And if others disagree or don’t respond, keep working at it. This is a skill too, and it takes practice.

I’ve found it shows when work is created out of a sense of guilt, fear, or obligation. The quality is much lower and no one latches on to keep building in-turn. And IMO it is essential to build up rather than tearing down.

[hereticshadowhand]

6, 16, 18, and 29 for enialis and vakri!!!!!!!

What??? A chance to talk about the two characters I already gush about constantly?? Thank you for giving me this, Sarah. 

6. what parts of your character's voice/manner of speaking are distinct, if any? Okay so these two are actually the two most ‘charismatic’ characters I’ve played so I’m actually going to answer this in how I played that differently? Because I do not uhhhh feel like I ever changed my manner of speaking much.  E: Oh man it’s been so long since I’ve played Nellie let’s see. I think Deep Deep down he is totally more awkward than he lets on so I would have this confidence but it was actually pretty paper thin. And Enialis would use his confidence and charm as a tactic and tool (tbt to when he flirted so hard with the villain cop to get out of a confrontation) V: They are the Self-Assured Cool I aspire to be. They embody it and I think (hopefully) that comes across in play. They’re not as talkative and aren’t the ‘face’ of the party. They don’t use their charm as a tool as much as Nellie did; more in a “I am going to bed this bartender because this entire baron thing has been tiring and I’m worth it” way. They’d much rather gain and rely on power, I think.  

16. what does getting flustered look like for your character? E: Omg @matchaado remember at the palace when Enialis was getting information from a palace servant and then rolled a Nat 1 on a persuasion check? Nellie immediately cut and run and then avoided that NPC for the rest of that session. Much like me in real life. V: Huh I’ve never thought about this. I think being flustered for them would feel like losing control of a situation and they would try to regain their handle on it as soon as possible. 

18. does your character have stuffed animals? would they if they could? what kind? E: When Enialis and Rolen were kids, their mother gave them two of the same bright purple bat stuffed animal. After The Accident, Enailis took his and Rolen’s stuffed animals with him. So he has two bats, one only slightly dirty and the other partially singed.  V: Vakri absolutely wouldn’t lmao. 

29. is there an artist whose style you associate with your character? (visual or otherwise; poets and musicians, etc. count) E: Would you believe me if I told you I haven’t made a character playlist for him? Fuck am I going to spend the night creating one for him, a character I’ve effectively retired? Right now I’m thinking Rainbow Kitten Surprise, especially All’s Well That Ends.  V: Well this is Vakri’s playlist and their song is totally Bassically by Tei Shi 

[ducktastic]

2020 Gameological Awards

Over on the Gameological Discord, we have an annual tradition of writing up our games of the year not as a ranked list but rather as answers to a series of prompts. Here are my personal choices for the year that was 2020.

Favorite Game of the Year

I didn’t know what to expect when I walked into Paradise Killer. I knew that I liked the vaporwave resort aesthetic from the game’s trailer and figured I was in for a Danganronpa-style murder mystery visual novel with an open-ended murder mystery at its core. Those assumptions were… half-right? The game definitely plays out like the exploration bits of Danganronpa set on the island from Myst but with far simpler puzzles. What I didn’t expect was to fall so deeply in love with the environment—its nooks and crannies, its millennia of lore, its brutalist overlap of idol worship, consumerism, and mass slaughter. It makes sense that the world of Paradise Killer is its strongest feature, since the cast of NPCs don’t really move around, leaving you alone with the world for the overwhelming majority of your experience as you bounce back and forth between digging around for clues and interrogating potential witnesses. And despite what the promo materials indicated, there IS a definitive solution to the crimes you’re brought in to investigate, the game just lets you make judgment based on whatever evidence you have at the time you’re ready to call it a day, so if you’re missing crucial evidence you might just make a compelling enough case for the wrong person and condemn them to eternal nonexistence. Am I happy with the truth at the end of the day? No, and neither is anybody else I’ve spoken to who completed the game, but we all were also completely enthralled the entire time and our dissatisfaction has less to do with the game and more to do with the ugly reality of humanity. I’ve always been of the mindset that “spoilers” are absolute garbage and that a story should be just as good whether you know the twist or not and any story that relies on surprising the audience with an unexpected reveal is not actually that good a story, but Paradise Killer is a game about piecing together your own version of events so I feel that it’s vital to the gameplay experience that people go in knowing as little as possible and gush all about it afterwards. Just trust me, if the game looks even remotely intriguing to you, go for it. I’ve had just as much fun talking about the game after I finished it with friends just getting started as I did actually solving its mysteries myself.

Best Single Player Game

I honestly missed out on the buzz for In Other Waters at launch, so I’m happy I had friends online talking it up as Black Friday sales were coming along. The minimal aesthetic of his underwater exploration game allows the focus to shift more naturally to the game’s stellar writing as a lone scientist goes off in search of her mentor and the secrets they were hiding on an alien world. It only took a few hours for me to become completely absorbed in this narrative and keep pushing forward into increasingly dangerous waters. In Other Waters might just be the best sci-fi story I experienced all year and I’d highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys sci-fi novels, regardless of their experience with video games.

Best Multiplayer Game

Look, we all know this year sucked. 2020 will absolutely be chronicled in history books as a fascinating and deeply depressing time in modern history where we all stayed inside by ourselves and missed our friends and family. It was lonely and it was bleak. Which is why it made my heart glow so much more warmly every time I got a letter from an honest-to-goodness real-life friend in Animal Crossing New Horizons. Knowing that they were playing the same game I was and hearing about their experiences and sending each other wacky hats or furniture, it lightened the days and made us feel that little bit more connected. Sure, when the game first launched we would actually take the time to visit one another’s islands, hang out, chat in real-time, and exchange gifts, but we all eventually got busy with Zoom calls, sourdough starters, and watching Birds of Prey twenty-two times. Still, sending letters was enough. It was and still is a touching little way to show that we’re here for one another, if not at the exact same time.

Favorite Ongoing Game

Zach Gage is one of my favorite game designers right now, and when I heard he was releasing a game called Good Sudoku I was sold sight unseen. The game as released was… fine. It’s sudoku and it’s pleasant, but it was also buggy and overheated my phone in a way I hadn’t seen since Ridiculous Fishing (also by Zach Gage) seven years ago. Thankfully, the most glaring bugs have been fixed and I can now enjoy popping in every day for some quick logic puzzle goodness. Daily ranked leaderboards keep me coming back again and again, the steady ramp of difficulty in the arcade and eternal modes means I can always chase the next dopamine rush of solving increasingly complex puzzles. It’s not a traditional “ongoing” game the way, say, Fortnite and Destiny are, but I’m happy to come back every day for sudoku goodness.

Didn't Click For Me

With Fortnite progressively losing me over the course of 2020, finalizing with my wholesale “never again” stance after Epic boss Tim Sweeney compared Fortnite demanding more money from Apple to the American Civil Rights movement (no, absolutely not), I dipped my toe into a number of new “battle pass”-style online arena types of games, and while Genshin Impact eventually got its hooks into me, Spellbreak absolutely did not. With graphics straight out of The Dragon Prince and the promise of a wide variety of magic combat skills to make your character your own, the game seemed awfully tempting, but my first few experiences were aimless and joyless, with no moment of clarity to make me understand why I should keep coming back. Maybe they’ll finesse the game some more in 2021, or a bunch of my friends will get hooked and lure me back, but for now I am a-okay deleting this waste of space on my Switch and PC.

"Oh Yeah, I Did Play That Didn't I?"

I remember being really excited for Murder By Numbers. Ace Attorney-style crime scene investigation visual novel with Picross puzzles for the evidence, art by the creators of Hatoful Boyfriend, and music by the composer of Ace Attorney itself?! Sounds like a dream come true. But the pixel-hunt nature of the crime scene investigations was more frustrating than fun, the picross puzzles were not particularly great, and the game came out literally a week before the entire world went into lockdown which makes it feel more like seven years ago than just earlier this year. I remember being marginally charmed by the game once it was in my hands, but as soon as my mind shifted to long-term self care, Murder By Numbers went from hot topic to cold case.

Most Unexpected Joy

I was looking forward to Fuser all year. As a dyed-in-the-wool DropMix stan, the prospect of a spiritual sequel to DropMix on all major digital platforms without any of the analogue components was tremendously exciting, and I knew I’d have a lot of fun making mixes by myself and posting them online for the world to hear. What I didn’t expect, however, was the online co-op mode to be such a blast! Up to four players take turns making 32 bars of mashups, starting with whatever the player before handed them and adding their own fingerprints on top. It sounds like it should just be a mess of cacophony, but every session I’ve played so far has been just the best dance party I’ve had all year, and everyone not currently in control of the decks (including an audience of spectators) can make special requests for what the DJ should spin and tap along with the beat to great super-sized emoji to show how much they’re enjoying the mix. Literally the only times my Apple Watch has ever warned me of my heightened heart rate have been the times I was positively bouncing in place rocking out to co-op freestyle play in Fuser.

Best Music

Only one video game this year had tunes that were so bumpable they were upgraded to my general “2020 jams” playlist alongside Jeff Rosenstock, Run the Jewels, and Phoebe Bridgers, and that game was Paradise Killer. 70% lo-fi chill beats to study/interrogate demons to, 20% gothic atmospheric bangers, 10% high-energy pop jazz, this soundtrack was just an absolute joy to swim around in both in and out of gameplay.

Favorite Game Encounter

It’s wild that in a landscape where games let me live out my wildest fantasies, the single moment that lit me up in a way that stood out to me more than any other was serving Neil the right drink in Coffee Talk. Over the course of the game, you serve a variety of hot drinks to humans, werewolves, vampires, orcs, and more, all while chatting with your customers and learning more about their lives and relationships. The most mysterious customer, though, is an alien life form who adopts the name Neil. They do not know what they want to drink and claim it doesn’t make a difference because they cannot taste it. Everybody else wants *something*. Neil is just ordering for the sake of fitting in and exploring the Earth experience. It’s only in the second playthrough that attentive baristas will figure out what to serve Neil, unlocking the “true” ending in the process. Seeing the typically stoic Neil actually emote when they tasted their special order drink? What an absolute treat that was.

Best Free DLC of the Year

It’s still only a couple of days old at the time I’m writing this, but Marvel’s Avengers just added Kate Bishop, aka Hawkeye, and THANK GOODNESS. Almost every character in the game at launch just smashed the endless waves of robot baddies with their fists and that looks exhausting and uncomfortable. Hawkeye (the game calls her Kate Bishop, but come on, she’s been Hawkeye in the comics for over 14 years, let’s show her some respect) uses A SWORD. FINALLY! Aside from that, I’m just having a blast shooting arrows all over the place. She and Ms Marvel are the most likable characters in the game so far, so I hope they keep adding more of the Young Avengers and Champions to the game, and if the recently announced slate of Marvel movies and tv shows are any indication (with America Chavez, Cassie Lang, and Riri Williams all coming soon to the MCU), that seems to be what Marvel is pushing for across all media

Most Accessible Game

Nintendo is, first and foremost, a toy company. They got their start in toys and cards long before video games was a thing, and they still do more tests to ensure their video game hardware is childproof than anybody else in the industry (remember how they made Switch cartridges “taste bad” so kids wouldn’t eat them?). This year, Nintendo got to rekindle some of their throwback, simplistic, toys-and-cards energy with Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics, a Switch collection of timeless family-friendly games like Chess, Mancala, and Backgammon, along with “toy” versions of sports like baseball, boxing, and tennis for a virtual parlor room of pleasant time-wasters. The games were all presented with charming li’l explainers from anthropomorphic board game figurines, and the ability to play quick sessions of Spider Solitaire on the touch screen while I binged The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix made Clubhouse Games one of my most-played titles of the year. Plus, local play during socially-distant friend hangs was an excellent way to make us feel like we were much closer than we were physically allowed to be as friends knocked each other’s block off in the “toy boxing” version of Rock’em Sock’em Robots.

"Waiting for Game-dot"

I get that everyone loves Disco Elysium. I saw it on everyone’s year-end lists last year. I finally bought it with an Epic Games Store coupon this year. This year was a long enough slog of depressing post-apocalyptic drudgery, I didn’t want to explore a whole nother one in my leisure time. I’ll get to it… someday.

Game That Made Me Think

Holovista was an iPhone game I played over the course of two or three days based on the recommendation of some trusted colleagues on Twitter and oh my goodness was I glad that I played it. What starts as a chill vaporwave photography game steadily progresses into an exploration of psychological trauma, relationships with friends and family, and the baggage we carry with us from our pasts. In this exceptionally hard year, I badly needed this story about spending time alone with your personal demons and finding your way back to the people who love and support you. Just like with Journey and Gone Home, I walked away from Holovista feeling a rekindled appreciation for the people in my life.

[tearlessrain]

30 questions tag game

Tagged by: @mercurypilgrim (thanks!)

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 5 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

Name/nickname: I’ve been going by tearless/tearlessrain for so long that a friend once called me that in person and I did not notice that it wasn’t my name until they said something. but I also have a lot of other names, only two of which have legal relevance.

Gender: male

Star sign: virgo, but I’ve been told by the local astrology gays that I’m also an aquarius moon and that it “explains a lot”

Height: 5′2

Birthday: a secret. I do not like being the center of attention.

Time: it’s like 3:40am. I will experience deep regret tomorrow, and I will learn nothing from this.

Favorite bands: queen feels like a cop out but like I’m never really not in the mood to listen to queen. linkin park, unironically. and all the different permutations of the crosby/stills/nash/young/simon/garfunkle cloud.

A few I am currently listening to, though: I can’t really call out specific bands/artists because I’m mostly listening to my oc playlists lately (I literally can’t stay in a bad mood listening to riska’s playlist and that’s just the energy I need in my life right now).

Favorite solo artists: (all together now) david bowie. also hozier and joni mitchell.

Song stuck in my head: O Come All Ye Faithful, in latin, for some fucking reason. it’s been there for days. send help.

Last movie: Kung Fu Panda, discord server was having a movie night.

Last show: WandaVision but I’m behind on it (loved the first two episodes but now I can feel the Marvel-ness looming again and I dread it)

When did I create this blog: god I don’t even remember, I’ve been here since the first age and never changed accounts/urls so like. around ten years now I think.

What do I post: whatever the hell passes through my brain from moment to moment, I can’t believe anyone follows me. lately a lot of rambling about my swtor ocs, sometimes it’s tolkien/silmarillion content, sometimes I liveblog terrible movies on purpose, sometimes it’s isaac asimov hours, sometimes just shitposting or unsolicited opinions about completely random things I’m not qualified to talk about. the only thing I can be relied on to provide is reblogs of ocean and horse photos, but not on any kind of consistent schedule.

Last thing googled: celtic invasion of portugal. I got slightly sidetracked from something else I was doing.

Other blogs: I’ve got art over at @tearlessrainart, horny art over at @a-world-of-osha-violations, and a little pile of extremely specific sideblogs I rarely use.

Do I get asks: not often, but those I do get are appreciated. except you, ray bans bot. I don’t appreciate you.

Why I chose my url: I originally used it as a deviantart handle (still there) because it wasn’t taken and I liked the overall way it sounded, and kept it because it’s rarely taken anywhere. and now it’s been ten years so like it’s stuck at this point.

Following: 305

Followers: 1392 which is far more than I deserve given my wildly inaccessible blogging style

Average hours of sleep: 7-8 hours usually but my actual sleep schedule skews late. I’ve never been one of those people who can skate by on 5 hours and be functional, if I get less than 6 hours I am absolutely useless and was that way even in high school/college when everyone else was pulling all nighters and shit.

Lucky number: I honestly have never understood lucky numbers, and how much I like any given number is solely dependent on how appealing its colors are according to my synesthesia. if anyone’s wondering, 420 is a hideously tacky blue/orange clusterfuck, but 69 is pleasantly greyscale.

Instruments: I play the flute, in that I own a flute that I was pretty good at playing in high school and can, if I choose, still play notes on it. I also own a melodica but I cannot play it, which to be clear does not stop me from playing it.

What am I wearing: pajama pants and a sith cloak. which sounds like a joke but I do actually own a set of sith robes and the cloak happens to be warm and very comfortable so I just kinda. wear it around the house sometimes in the winter.

Dream job: ornamental lighthouse hermit who may or may not be a wizard.

more realistically though I’m hoping to go into sfx makeup and cosmetology (I was like a week away from getting my license when the apocalypse hit)

Dream trip: I’d love to visit australia and new zealand, would also very much like to go back to scotland and possibly just not leave scotland.

Favorite food: sushi, specifically good salmon nigiri. god it’s so good. smeagol was right.

Nationality: regrettably, american.

Favorite song: god I have no idea. uh. I really like the boy in the bubble by paul simon. something about the visuals in that song speak to me.

Last book read: rereading The Robots of Dawn by Isaac Asimov, which is a terrible book that I nonetheless subject myself to periodically because I like all the books around it a lot. I need to start on Robots and Empire but shit’s been going down recently so I haven’t been reading much.

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in:  

okay LIVE IN is a very different question from “universes I think are neat” because like. I love the whole thing firefly has going on but I wouldn’t survive it for more than five minutes. so with that in mind:

1. middle earth but like, the shire during the third age specifically.

2. I think I would enjoy being a legend of zelda npc. I could just be a weird little potion seller who lives in a tree or something. or maybe an inexplicably sexy fish man. or better yet, the inexplicably sexy fish man’s husband, who sells potions. yeah I’ve got my fictional life here completely figured out now, this is good. I would also own an extremely chonky horse.

3. one of the ones I made up, specifically the one that involves a lot of gryphons and interdimensional bullshit. more specifically the origin universe of said gryphons, which exists at the heart of an extremely complicated multiverse that includes both earth and at least one fantasy world but is part of neither. anyway it’s a nice place.

Tagging: @raemanzu @sith-nb @vampiraptor @nyriad @crypticspren

(only if you want to of course)

[of-a-toast-and-tea]

tagged by: @sandovers

ARE YOU STAYING HOME FROM WORK OR SCHOOL?

yup - working from home since march 9th, so i’m in it for the long haul at this point. universities being universities we were one of the first to be sent home, and i imagine that we’ll be one of the last organizations back to the office.

IF YOU’RE STAYING HOME, WHO IS THERE WITH YOU?

my partner and two cats. his company is properly shut down until at least may 4th. i don’t know whether to be envious or sympathetic about how much free time he has - maybe both? the cats think they are my personal assistants and have been valiantly shredding any available paper in case it contains sensitive information.

ARE YOU A HOMEBODY?

not really. if i’m feeling like a homebody it’s usually a sign that i’m sinking into a depressive episode. actually, i was just crawling out of one - i had been stuck at home for months while i was looking for a job and now i’m stuck back at home. it’s been tough - but i’m glad that i have work to do, and i’ve been making a real effort to connect with people.

AN EVENT THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT GOT CANCELLED?

we had a big family party scheduled for mid march. all the cousins and their kids and my aunts and uncles (about 35 of us) were going to throw my grandparents an anniversary party at their nursing home. none of us wanted to talk about much, but it was probably one of the last chances we had to all be together. my grandfather is not doing well and one of my aunts has been declining rapidly with ALS. i’m really sad that we might never be able to make it happen. we’ve had to cancel our summer travel and other sundries, but that doesn’t seem like as much of a big deal.

WHAT MOVIES HAVE YOU WATCHED RECENTLY?

ten things i hate about you! my sister and i had a skype movie night and i think we’re going to watch emperor’s new groove this week. also i saw all the star wars prequels for the first time (so much wasted potential). i watched the new emma, and liked it, even if i have some questions about some of the changes they made.

WHAT SHOWS ARE YOU WATCHING?

i haven’t been watching anything, which is wild. so i will use this space to say that i have recently discovered video games and am deeply invested in whether or not random mass effect npcs like me. (what can i say? being mean to people stresses me out, even if they’re fake).

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO?

i’ve been going hard on comfort listening, so i completely expect that my most played album of 2020 will be neil young’s harvest. i am currently listening to the playlist that i made for my 30th birthday trip to space camp. it is called space songs, and it includes all the space themed music we could find, regardless of genre. the switch from the holst to nicki minaj is a trip and somehow seems completely appropriate to our lives at the moment.

WHAT ARE YOU READING?

i am currently reading ancillary justice by anne leckie, which i am about 10 pages into but cautiously intrigued by. i just finished a couple books by kamila shamsie on the strength of a god in every stone, and i was not disappointed. 

i’ve been helping one of my friend’s sister with her medieval lit paper, and have been rereading the canterbury tales out of order - which led to rereading gawain and the green knight (armitage then harrison then stone). 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR SELF CARE?

for self care i am making myself go to work everyday. i am showering in the morning and i am cooking homemade food every night. i am trying (and failing) to not guilt trip myself for wasting hours and for the fact that my brain is moving sluggishly in fits and starts, i am drinking 8 gallons of coffee because i have had to go off my adhd meds and nothing else makes me feel calm (i know. i know. that last one isn’t actually self care). i set up my desk by the brightest window in my house. i am maximizing all possible cuddle time with my partner and with the cats. i am deeply invested in the daily progress of my garden and my seedlings. i am not buying anything. i am not yelling at people on twitter.

i will tag anyone who wants to do this - but will especially call out @gollyb @headandthemusic @notwiselybuttoowell @currentboat @wearethemakersofmanners