#but i’m supposed to think this is the party of Captain America Sam Wilson all of a sudden

[wenellyb]

Is Sambucky Canon or Not?

TL;DR: Yes, it is

I've seen some people saying that they only see friendship between Sam and Bucky, and I can understand that. Because depending on your education, the environment you grew up and the kind of media you’re usually exposed to, you will have a different interpretation of different situations, in real life or in TV. Just let me insert a short story before I dive into the Sambucky topic:

My best friend's uncle is in his fifties and has been living with his roommate (a man) for more than 10 years. They lived together, went on holidays together but officially were just roommates. My best friend wondered if they were a couple, but never talked about it to her parents because it wasn't her business. Two years ago, they decided to come out and get married. My best friend's parents and his parents were genuinely surprised, they were not expecting that, at all, not even a little bit. Let me tell you that it didn’t even cross their mind that it was a possibility, at all. For them, it had always just been two men who had decided to live together because they were single. And preferred to have a roommate rather than living alone.

What I want to say with this story is that people will see what they want to see, or what they're used to see, or what they were raised to see. It’s human.

What I mean is that you will have different perception of a same event, depending on your own circumstances. And I think the writers of TFATWS were counting on that a little bit when it came to Sam and Bucky’s relationship. They obviously didn't want to make some big announcement or big love declaration.

And yes, of course, I have my own circumstances as well, influencing the way I see things. I have shipped SamBucky since Civil War, when they were supposedly enemies. I never expected anything to happen between them on screen. But then they got a show together and I was so so happy about it but I didn't expect anything other than friendship between them.

I was perfectly fine with that because a show was already more than enough: my man Sam Wilson was becoming Captain America, the show was great, the characters were great, their interactions were great, and this wasn't a love story anyway but a superhero show. I thought that here was no way the showrunners would ever go there. I changed my mind after episode 5. I tried to stay objective, but it was clear to me that the writers were hinting at a relationship that went beyond friendship between Sam and Bucky. In some of my previous posts, I explained that there are some scenes and writing choices that make absolutely no sense if you read them as a scene between two friends. I can link them if anyone’s interested.

Side note: I would like to know if one person on this website can tell me what was up with Bucky's behavior with Torres (in episode 5)? What other explanation is there, if not jealousy? It's a scene they chose to keep, so it was probably written this way, there must be a reason. Please I’m begging someone explain it to me. I'm genuinely asking, because otherwise that scene alone is canon Sambucky.

After episode 5, I was convinced they would make Sambucky canon, one way or the other and I started speculating about the ways they could do it. What I said was that if they did make Sambucky canon, they would do it in a very subtle way, in order not to make it too obvious because that’s generally how Marvel movies deal with love stories. And also because they wouldn’t want to scare away their homophobic audience ( I guess Disney needs their money...who knows)

So here are the scenes of how I imagined SamBucky becoming canon and the comparison with reality:

1.

- What I thought we could get : AJ and Cass calling Bucky "Uncle Bucky" - What we got: AJ and Cass running up to Bucky and playing with him. This point is interesting because it’s also related to the point I made about how the environment you grew up in influences your perception of things. I grew up in a big family and I know that, at least in my family, kids don't run up to an adult like that just because it's their uncle’s friend or just because he's nice... There's a real bond there. They haven't seen Bucky just that one time when he slept on the couch. They're obviously close. But some people might just see this as kids being kids. Also, if you watch at how the kids were fake punching him, they were really coordinated with Bucky. They have done this plenty of times. 2.

What I thought we could see: A non-explicit scene where we were supposed to draw our own conclusions. I thought they could show us Bucky staying over for the night, and the last scene would be an empty couch, meaning we would have to understand that Bucky slept in Sam's room this time.

-What we got: Bucky arriving in Sam's car ( A few people on Tumblr pointed out that it was the car Sam was driving in episode 1) So here again we have a scene that a lot of people will not notice. But they still chose to put it there. 3.

What I thought could happen: Sam asking Bucky to stay in Delacroix

What we got: Bucky wrapping things up in New York, as if he was leaving the city for good and coming to Sam's party as if he already knew everyone there. You can read my take on this here. 4. What I thought could happen: The scene in the trailer where we see them looking in the same direction and then we get a shot from very far away where they're holding hands but it’s not so obvious because they are being filmed from a disctance. -What we got: The scene in trailer and then a blurry shot of Sam holding Bucky and then fondling with his neck to find the best spot to rest his hand on. So none of the scenes I was imagining happened exactly like I had imagined, but it felt like all of them happened but in a different versions, which is still crazy to me. If it had been only one scene. I could probably understand the people who see them as just friends. Actually, I still do understand the people who see them as just friends, because everyone has their own interpretation. What I am saying is that they are NOT being portrayed as just friends. There are TOO many scenes in the 6 episodes for it to be a coincidence. One or 2 would be ok but friendship doesn’t explain everything:

The therapy scene (not the therapy scene itself since it was improvised) but the therapist saying she had heard a lot about Sam and wanting them to do a couples’ therapy

Bucky following Sam no matter what

Sam saying ok as soon as Bucky says "do it for me"

Sam asking "what about Bucky?"

Bucky starting to touch Sam whenever he has the chance

Bucky being the one to bringing the suit for Sam

The boat repairing montage

Bucky wanting to stay at Sam's place, when a hotel room would have been more comfortable than a couch

The second day of boat repair in closed quarters with an intense staring scene.

And there are so many other scenes, soft touches, looks,...

These writing choices are not a coincidence, it’s not involuntary, and it’s not fan service ( Fan service is the roll in the flower field scene, or the therapy session). This is them telling a story.

Let’s not even talk about the scenes in Endgame:

Sam comforting bucky at Tony’s funeral

Sam looking up to Bucky for approval before accepting the shield from Steve.

So yes, Sam and Bucky are canon in the sense that Peter and Gamora were canon in the first movie, or Wanda and Vision were canon in Captain Civil War. Meaning that there was no big moment, kiss or anything, but the show is consistently throwing elements clearly showing Sam and Bucky as a romantic item and hinting at a lot more than friendship between them.

It is normal that some people have a different opinion. Because it is extremely rare, in big productions like this to have two male leads with romantic feelings towards each other, so not a lot people who see it will interpret it as such (I don't think it ever happened). You’ll see what you’re used to seeing.

I guess it also depends on what you expect from a love story. For me, the storyline between the characters, their scenes, their chemistry, the way their feelings towards each other are described, are the most important. The kiss scene is just there as a bonus, but I don't need it when the love story is told perfectly. If you’re used to seeing love stories with many kissing scenes, that’s what you will be expecting to see in most love stories.

If you're only used to seeing male friendships in superhero or action movies. The 1000th time you see men interacting in that type of movie or show, you are more likely to assume it is a friendship and nothing more, no matter how many codes and tropes usually associated with romantic movies, the writers and show makers are using.

Add to that the conviction that Disney would never approve Sambucky in a million years, and there you go, I can understand the people who see only friendship.

But, just think about it, if we had the same show, same scenes, same dialogues, but minus the action scenes and the project was being marketed as an Indie movie, would you think they were just friends or a blossoming couple?

If you read Sambucky’s relationship like a friendship: some scenes don't make sense. If you read it like a developing romantic relationship: it all makes sense. "When you hear hoofs, think horse, not zebra" If a writer or a film director chooses a last scene with a romantic setting and the two leads are staring at a sunset, smiling repeatedly at each other and then walking away together with one of them touching the other's neck, with a love song in the background, maybe friendship isn't the first thought they had in mind.

Some people may say “I see them as just friends” and other people may say “ I see them as lovers” and both are fine, because people have different perceptions, and that’s ok.

What I am saying is this post is that the show and the writers are portraying them as more than just friends, they’re portraying them as two characters who are romantically involved.

Perceive what you want but that’s how they are being presented in the show.

Bucky’s therapist said that the exercise she gave them was for couples who want to figure out what kind of life they want to build together. Then, the show ends with Sam and Bucky, staring at a sunset together, looking in the same direction.

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. “  - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

What else do you need???

This show had more romance than half of the Marvel projects out there. Not every love story needs a kiss (for now...)

We'll see in their next projects which direction the writers want to go with this. But since it was said that the writer on the movie is the same as the writer from episode 5, there's no doubt in my mind that we'll keep seeing this dynamic. I don't think they would have made the same choices if this had been a movie. But I won't complain that we got this. I hope they keep this going even if it stays subtle like in the show. Just hope they will add one explicit scene where one of the characters acknowledges their relationship. But even if we only ever get this show, it’s already a great love story. Let me know what you guys think and sorry for the typos and grammar mistakes, I was tired when I wrote the last part. I hope it still makes sense!

If you think they're only being portrayed as friends let me know why! I would also like to know about the way you see this!

[marvelettesassemblenow]

Miscommunication

Pairing: Stucky x F Reader

Summary: You were a retired Shield Agent and enjoyed the quiet life. Steve Rogers came over to your house to lay down and suddenly he almost moved in with Bucky Barnes. But it seemed like not all three of you were on the same page where your relationship stands.

Word Count: ~3.5k

Warnings: a little bit of angst, but mostly fluff (I think) and all of them are idiots, swear words

A/N: I actually have no clue what this is or where it came from. But I was in the mood for some fluff and couldn’t decide, if I should write Steve or Bucky. So this is the first time that I wrote Stucky

There was a small knock on your door and you knew that the person who was knocking had a key to your house, but he insisted on making himself known before he'd enter.

„Come in, Steve,“ you yelled, knowing that he would hear you through the closed door. Not a second later you heard the key being turned and him entering the house. He came up to you and put his arm around your waist and kissed your cheek before he let go. „Smells good,“ Steve commented and noticed that there was way more food in the pan than one person could eat.

„Buck isn’t with you today?“ you asked and turned around although you heard that Steve came alone.

„He's on a mission.“ Steve walked to your cabinet and pulled out some plates for the two of you and put them on the table. You didn’t have to point out where anything was. This was like his second home.

You had worked for Shield before everything went down and you were actually there when Steve was chased by the organization. You were injured then and Steve came to you to make sure you were okay. That was the start of your friendship with Captain America. Not long after that you met Sam Wilson and Natasha Romanoff, before they all had to disappear. After that Steve came back with another person for you to meet: James Buchanan Barnes.

You didn’t know what happened then, but you became friends with him also and it almost seemed like the two super soldiers moved in with you. They even had their own bedroom in your house, which used to be a guest room. They lived in the compound, but some days when they just wanted to feel like normal people they were found in your place.

You didn’t have a conversation about the relationship of the two. They didn’t kiss in front of you, but you were sure that the two of them were an item. They shared the bed in the guestroom, right? You didn’t want to bring up a conversation why they didn’t look for a place on their own. Not when it felt too good that they came to your place.

They did show affection, to each other and to you. It blurred the line of your friendship often. Both of them were cuddlers and when you first noticed that there might be something between the two men you felt bad one day when Steve came through the door and found you cuddling on the couch with Bucky.

But when you wanted to move, Bucky's arm tightened around you and Steve placed a hand on your shoulder and told you to stay, he would join you after a shower. Things like that confused you and made you question if it was really only friendship you felt for the two of them.

„Well, then it should be at least enough food for the two of us. Will you stay the night or do you want to wait for him at the compound,“ you asked when you put some food on the table for him.

„I'll stay here, he won’t be back for two days,“ Steve said when he took the plate from you and placed it on the table.

„I should take rent from you,“ you joked when you sat down after Steve placed the second plate.

„You really should!“ Steve agreed. The discussion had come up before, but you only made them buy groceries from time to time because stuffing two super soldiers was expensive!

„Can I ask you something?“ you spoke up when there was almost no food on your plate anymore.

„Anything,“ Steve answered without missing a beat.

„Why don’t you get a place on your own with Bucky?“

Steve’s movement stopped. „Are we a bother? You should have said something sooner,“ he started to ramble, afraid that they had overstayed their welcome.

„No, no. That’s not it, I swear. I was just wondering if it wouldn’t be easier for the two of you. I like having you around, I swear I’ll tell you if it’s too much,“ you reassured him.

„Okay. Well, it feels nice to leave the compound and everything superhero related behind. It’s nice to come home to something relatively normal. And it’s rare for Bucky to open up to someone, when he started to take a liking to you I was so happy.“

„I'm happy you feel that way. What do you say to popcorn and a movie?“

„Sounds good to me. Get comfortable, I’ll do the dishes,“ Steve offered and you didn’t complain.

Bucky and Steve were sitting on your couch when you stepped into your house. Not that you were surprised because they were often there and they had texted you that they had ordered pizza.

„Hey, where were you?“ Steve asked and did a double take as soon as he turned around and saw you standing in the hallway.

„I was on a date,“ you answered while you were still busy slipping out of your shoes. There was a choking noise and you looked worried at Steve who held out a drink towards the brunette, whose head was turning red as a piece of pizza has found its way in the wrong tube. „Are you okay?“ you asked and rubbed his back.

„Why were you on a date?“ he asked once he could breathe again.

„Because I was asked. I didn’t think it is a big deal. And I didn’t know you’d be here, aren’t you supposed to be on a mission still?” You didn’t see the point in telling them that it was a setup from one of your coworkers. And that you had tried to get out of it, but you went there in the end. It wasn’t a horrible date, but it wasn’t... what you had with the super soldiers. Not that you would tell them that part.

“It’s postponed to the next week. Will you,” Steve cleared his throat. “Will you go on a second date?”

“Are you afraid that I’ll kick you out of the house?” You pushed Bucky a little to the side and took a seat next to him. “No, I don’t think I will,” you finally said before you took a bite out of the pizza. “Why are you making such a big deal out of it. You have to know that this,” you pointed with your finger at the three of you, “won’t stay that way forever.”

“Do you want us to move out, doll?” Bucky asked and he looked so hurt that you had to place your pizza on the table and had to hug him.

“No, that’s not it. But don’t you want a place of your own?” you asked into his neck.

“Without you? No,” Bucky said without missing a beat. You let out a short laugh and let go of the big man. You could stay a little while in the bubble, thinking that this will stay that way. That night you fell asleep on the sofa and you woke up shortly when you were placed onto something soft and a kiss was placed on your forehead.

“I see you brought your girlfriend,” Sam greeted the three of you, when you entered the compound and entered the hearing range of the outspoken man. Steve and Bucky had asked if you wanted to come along to the party, seeing as you knew the Avengers and you agreed when you heard that a few of your ex-colleagues were also there.

You forced a laugh at Sam's greeting and hugged him. You hadn’t seen each other for a while but you were fond of him. He was keeping Bucky on his toes, but he was also one of the nicest people you have ever met. “How are you?” you asked before you let go of him.

“Oh I’m good. What about you? Do you miss the action or are you still enjoying the quiet life?” he asked instead.

“Still enjoying the quiet life,” you answered with a big smile. You saw an old coworker of you and excused yourself, telling Sam that you were sure you would see him later again and nodded at your two roommates before you made your way over.

It was about two hours later when Sam walked rather quickly over to his two friends. “I need to talk to the two of you in private.” He didn’t leave any room for objections. Bucky and Steve shared a glance before they followed Sam into a debriefing room not far from the party.

“Did you told your girlfriend that she should deny a relationship with you?” he came straight to the point and looked into the confused faces of his friends.

“No?” Steve finally said.

“Did you have a talk about how you are going to approach today with her?” Sam asked next.

“No, why are you asking these weird things? And why did we have to leave the room for that?” Bucky was just as confused as Steve was.

“Because I thought you might not want everyone to hear this. Why is your girl telling everyone that she’s single then? And why was her laugh so forced when I called her your girlfriend? I thought maybe it was because you wanted to keep everything private, but I saw you looking at her and each other the whole night and now I am just confused.”

“You are the one who is confused? I think I am the one who can’t follow you.”

“Okay, well then I have a simple question for you. Does she know that you are in a relationship?” Sam asked and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Yes,” Bucky and Steve said at the same time.

“And you are in a relationship with her too, right?”

“Yes,” the answer was spoken at the same time again.

“And did you have a talk with her where you told her specificly that she’s your girlfriend?”

“We don’t have to discuss every little detail when it’s clear,” Steve started to say and Sam threw his arms in the air to show he was clearly frustrated with the big guys in front of him.

“She doesn’t know that the three of you are in a relationship. It all adds up, now. You need to have a talk, because she clearly thinks she is single. I heard herself saying that more than once tonight.”

Steve looked at Bucky. “Do you think he’s right?” he asked his boyfriend.

Bucky just raised his hands and shoulder to show he had no idea. Until now he didn’t even question it, but he thought they had made it clear after you had come back from the date and they were confused as hell. The three of you were almost always cuddled together on the couch or on the chairs in the garden, when one of the two insisted that you could still fit on one of their lounge chairs. Or the little dates they went on like the little café a few streets down your house.

Or the stroll around the little park when it had suddenly started to rain and he had given you his baseball cap while Steve insisted you would get his hoodie because he wouldn’t get sick. You had held Bucky's hand on the way back to the house after you had waited under a tree for the rain to stop.

“Do you think that is why she always asked if we wanted to get a house of our own?” Bucky concluded.

“You are so dumb. I think you have to fix that,” Sam said and was the first one to leave the room.

You were surprised when suddenly Steve and Bucky were around you and after the fourth time they had hinted that they were tired you asked if you wanted to leave the party. They agreed eagerly after you said goodnight to a few people you were on your way to the house.

You sat on the passenger seat, although you had argued that you’d be fine to sit in the back. Now Bucky sat behind you and you had pushed your seat forward so he could have at least a little space. Steve’s right hand was on your leg and he only took it away to change the gear.

“Okay, what is wrong with you? You’re acting strange,” you said finally and turned around so you could see Bucky which caused Steve to lose his hold on your leg.

Bucky thought about denying it, but it didn’t feel right.

“Can we talk about it at home, honey?” Steve asked instead and you nodded. You turned back around and the rest of the drive was quiet. When Steve parked the car in front of your house and you loosened the seatbelt, Bucky had already opened your car door and held out a hand in front of you. You raised an eyebrow at that but still accepted it. What was going on?

“Do you want to change into something more comfortable?” Steve asked when you stepped inside.

“No, I want to know what is going on.”

You decided to sit down on the couch, so you could at least sit comfortable and you tucked your feet under your legs. It looked like the two men didn’t know where to sit, but they decided on the other side of the couch next to each other. “So, will one of you finally tell me what is going on?”

“It seems like we’re not all on the same page with what is going on here,” Steve started and made a motion with his finger to the three of you. You cocked your eyebrow again to show him he should continue, because to be honest you were lost. “You know that Bucky and I are in a relationship, right?” Bucky’s hand had grabbed Steve’s. And did he seem nervous?

You nodded. This was where they would tell you that you had crossed a line. Although when you thought about it, Steve’s hand had rested on your thigh not even 20 minutes ago.

“Doll, the point is... we thought we made it clear that we’re in a relationship,” Bucky stepped in.

“You did, I knew from the start. I mean you share the room with one bed. This is where you can be whoever you want to be. I won’t judge you,” you said quickly.

“Doll, Steve and I thought we had made it clear that we’re in a relationship with you. Steve, you and me.” It looked like he wanted to grab your hand but then he pulled back as if he was afraid of your reaction.

You mouth was open and you only closed it when you noticed that your tongue got dry. “The three of us? I’m so confused. Since when? I mean we haven’t even kissed,” you rambled.

Steve decided to be brave and grabbed your hand then. “Love is shown in many ways. It doesn’t always have to be physical and we just thought that wasn’t what you wanted. It took Bucky a long time to get comfortable with touching and it sometimes is still hard for him. But I think I do have to make it clear, honey. I love you and not just in a platonic way. It’s the same love I hold for Bucky and if you want to and if you feel the same, we’d love to be in a relationship with you.”

“If you need time, or hell,” Bucky swallowed, “if you don’t want to be with us or doesn’t want us around anymore, just say the word and we’ll leave.”

“I’ll grab a glass of water. Give me a moment, I’ll be back, okay?” You couldn’t answer them right now, there was so much going on. They wanted to be in a relationship with you? And they assumed that you already were an item? You wondered what had changed. Wait, was that why Sam had greeted you as their girlfriend? It hadn’t been a joke. And if they had told Sam, or maybe even Natasha... that means that this was something serious. But you still couldn’t figure out why they hadn’t talked to you.

“We need to work on your communication skills,” you said when you walked back, the glass of water long forgotten. “I'm not sure how to go from here,” you admitted.

“We can continue just as we were. Nothing has to change except we don’t see others romantically. We can go just as slow as you want or we don’t have to change anything.”

“Can we talk about this in the morning and just cuddle right now?” you asked and you could clearly see the relief on the guys face.

“Of course, doll,” Bucky answered and opened his arms.

“Let’s go change into something comfortable before, okay?” You took his hand and the three of you walked into your respective rooms. When you walked out of your room in some comfy clothes you could hear Steve and Bucky talking in their room. You couldn’t understand what they were saying, but you knocked on the door. The talking stopped and Steve opened the door.

You stepped from one foot to the other. “Maybe we can cuddle here,” you said when you looked up. Why you were suddenly so nervous around them you didn’t know. Steve nodded and stepped aside so you could enter the room.

Bucky noticed you hesitating and took your hand again. “Come here,” he said and lead you to the bed. He got comfortable on the right side and when you crawled after him he pulled you to his chest. Steve got on your other side and put an arm around your waist.

You felt Bucky's breath on your neck. “Just to make it clear, doll. I love you too,” he said and a feather light kiss was pressed into your neck.

“I can’t believe that you let me walk into a room full of people who knew about your feelings for me and I didn’t. Why couldn’t you just say anything? And why did you tell Sam and not me?” you said after a while because you couldn’t just wait for tomorrow.

“We thought it was obvious. And Sam just called your our girlfriend once and we didn’t deny it and then we called you our girlfriend. That’s kind of how we told them.”

“I always felt so guilty when one of you cuddled with me, but then you showed me in affection wen the other one was around and it was just so confusing. I’m glad we cleared that now, though,” you said and wrapped your hand around Bucky’s while your other one rested against Steve’s chest.

“We’re sorry,” Steve mumbled. You laid there and enjoyed their presence until you got sleepy. But you weren’t ready to share the bed and so you started to get up. “I’ll go to sleep, we’ll see each other for breakfast.” When you were about to walk out you stopped in the doorway. “I’m really glad you came clear. Goodnight boys.”

“Sleep well, doll.”

The next day you were woken by a knock on your door. “Good Morning, honey. We prepared breakfast.” You tried to raise a eyebrow.

“Am I in a parallel universe? I’ll come soon,” you said and pulled away your blanket to make your way to the bathroom. When you made your way to the kitchen you were greeted with the smell of food and you did a double take when you spotted the flowers on the table and the stuff that was neatly arranged.

“We wanted to make it special for the first date that the three of us will be aware of. We went to the bakery you liked so much,” Steve explained while he filled some glasses with juice, not really noticing that the juice was spilling over as he waited for your reaction.

“Well, thank you, boyfriends,” you said with a smile on your lips as you sat down. You were aware of the pressure that fell from the tall guys in the room.

“I'm glad you like it, doll,” Bucky pressed a kiss to your cheek before he sat down on the chair next to you, while Steve was busy cleaning the counter. He was about to sit down in front of you, when you asked if you wouldn’t get a good morning kiss from him. You knew he was a super soldier and he had good reflexes but you were pretty sure you have never seen him move so fast before. He was about to kiss your cheek but you turned around and stunned him when suddenly your lips connected. He was shocked, that much you could tell, but it didn’t hinder him from kissing you back gently.

He shared a quick glance with Bucky when you disconnected, but the other man wasn’t about to say anything. He meant what he said when he told you the night before that they would go in your pace. But when you looked at him and asked if you could have a kiss from him too he didn’t hesitate to kiss you.

“So, now that that’s out of the way. I’m starving,” you said and started to put some food on your plate. “What are we going to do today?”

“Whatever you want,” Steve and Bucky said at the same time which caused you to laugh

Masterlist

divider by @firefly-graphics

[cjsinkythoughts]

FATWS One Shot #3 - Stars, Stripes, and Bubbles

Word Count: 1912

Warnings: Cursing, Fluff, erm…a Relationship that You Want to Happen but Know Never Will

Setting/Characters: The first part of Captain America: The Winter Soldier in 2014 after Steve’s hostage mission; Reader, Steve Rogers, mentions of Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, and Nick Fury

A/N: This…isn’t what I thought it was gonna turn out to be. But I like it, it’s cute, and I needed something pure with the shield after that ending scene, so I’m posting it.

I have a few more One Shots planned that take place during TWS so I’ll be writing those today and tomorrow. This week is a lot less hectic than last week (I was being trained in another area of my job last week, hence crazy hours), so expect more One Shots coming this week. Again, I’m trying to post them chronologically, but there might be some out of order depending on what you guys request and when, which is totally fine!

For today, I have the Reader meeting Sam (which is kinda what this was supposed to be, but…oh well) and more about the notebook planned. Also Reader meeting Bucky unofficially for the first time because he’s, you know, brainwashed and stuff. Later this week I’m planning on AoU stuff which will include the Party Scene and Wanda interactions.

If I can get through those by Friday when the new episode comes out, I’ll start on CA:CW which will include Reader officially meeting Bucky and possibly the airport scene if you guys are interested in that. Then I’ve got some Wakanda scenes and some Peter interactions. If not, I’ll start CW:CA next Sunday. Once the backstory is set up and completed chronologically, I might go back and just write some drabbles and stuff of random moments - kinda like this one. 

I did get a request earlier for Bucky’s perspective on the dancing scene in Part 4.2, so I’m planning on doing more rewrites of scenes in Bucky’s perspective, but that’ll come after the One Shots, so hopefully next week.

I think that’s all…umm…yeah. Once again, not beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you so much for reading! I’m so glad you’re all enjoying this almost as much as I am! Be kind to yourselves and others! Enjoy reading and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

The beeping of the timer made you groan and set down the book you were digging into. You were just starting to get to the good part, but the food smelled so good, so you decided it could wait.

You were so focused on your task of getting your breakfast ready that you didn’t hear your front door open or the footsteps that followed it shutting, the thud of boots hitting the floor just around the corner. Setting the ready food on the counter, you jumped at the arms that wrapped around your shoulders and waist.

“Shouldn’t you be more observant for a spy?”

You gave a hum at his deep voice, tilting your head slightly as he placed his cheek on your shoulder, nose pressing up against the column of your throat. “Shouldn’t you be heading over to the Triskelion for your debriefing with Fury?”

He growled at the mention of the mission he was just sent on yesterday morning. The first few assignments he had surprised you with how quick they were over, but then you remembered yours were a bit different than his and you got used to him being back within the next couple days.

“We don’t have secrets right? I’m so fucking tired of secrets.”

Your eyebrow quirked up as you turned to face him, his hands slipping down to your hips. You took in his state; he was still in uniform, dirt on his face, hair unruly, the shield on his back gray with the dust that covered it. He obviously hadn’t even gone to his own place yet, meaning he just got back. “What happened?”

He huffed, letting go of you to rub his face tiredly. “Natasha. She didn’t tell me that Fury sent her to do something other than what we were supposed to be doing.”

“They’re spies, bubs. It’s what they do.”

“You’re a spy. You wouldn’t do that.”

Chuckling a little at his comparison, you shook your head. “Our relationship is a little…different than yours and Nat’s.”

“I wish they’d put you on my missions. I don’t know why they don’t. We work well together, don’t we?”

You snorted. “That’s probably the reason.” At his confused look, you shook your head. “Never mind. Just…we’re closer. I know you better than they do. You can’t compare them to me. It isn’t fair.”

He grumbled, eyes glancing down to your feet. “They still should’ve told me.”

“Hey,” you tilted his head back up to meet your gaze. “It was a hostage mission, right?” He nodded. “Did you save the hostages?” Another nod, which made you shrug. “Then there you go. You did your job and you saved people. It was a success. That’s all that matters.”

“He got away.” Steve argued. “He got away because she didn’t feel the goddamn need to tell me-”

“She was following orders. Don’t be mad at her.”

“You’re right.” His quick admission stunned you for a moment, until he continued speaking. “It’s Fury’s fault. I think I’m gonna go-”

He started moving away, but you tugged him back, shaking your head again. “Not yet, bubba. You can talk to him later. Let’s get you cleaned up first. Then we’ll eat and you can tell me how that run you went on yesterday was. Okay?”

His features softened and he nodded, setting his forehead against yours. “Okay.”

You had half of your dresser sectioned off for Steve’s things. SHIELD had moved him to DC about a year previous to be closer to HQ, especially after the Helicarrier became decommissioned for repairs. You already had an apartment in DC - it was where you stayed for the most part, hence the reason you were more than willing to stay in New York for a couple years. 

The moment he moved in about ten minutes from you, you knew, just like in DC, he’d be spending a lot of time at your place. Which is why you made the executive decision to have him bring a bag over one night and unpack his stuff.

It wasn’t the first shower he took at your place and it most certainly wouldn’t be the last.

While he was cleaning up, you got to work washing his suit and the shield. You teased him by saying you’d just throw his suit in the washer and the shield in the dishwasher, but you wouldn’t actually.

His suit was air drying by the window and you were at the sink scrubbing off the shield, wishing you had a backyard and a hose, when he padded back into the room, hair plastered to his forehead, dripping down his temples, sweats and a t-shirt clinging to his body. He shook his head, leaning on the counter besides you. You always found it amusing how big he looked in your tiny kitchen.

“You know you don’t have to do that, right?”

You scoffed. “If you think I’m gonna let you walk around in that disgusting thing all day, you, my friend, are nuts.”

He chuckled, moving behind you and setting his chin on your shoulder, his larger hands stopping yours from their movements. “At least let me do this, then.” He murmured, taking the scrub brush from you, spreading the bubbles over the rings of the shield.

“You can help me. But I like finishing what I started.” You whispered back, reaching for a clean rag and dunking it into the soapy water, wiping down the star in the middle.

He placed a gentle kiss to your jaw, relenting easily. “Fine.”

You two worked in silence, the water running over the shield, taking the dirt and grime with it, hands occasionally brushing each other. Almost finished, Steve placed his hand over yours, moving it over to a certain spot. “The brush won’t get it.” He explained, his low voice sounding right beside your ear.

Smiling, you turned your head to look at him. There was a crease between his brow as he concentrated on getting rid of the smudge on the precious metal. Your lips turned up when you noticed a dark spot on his jaw he must’ve missed. He looked at you with a grin when you started giggling. “What’s got you giggling so pretty, honey?”

Letting go of the side of the shield you were holding, you reached up to wipe the dirt on his jaw that he missed with your thumb. “Can’t let that handsome face of yours get stained. And, speaking of stains,” you turned back to the shield, holding it up for the both of you to look at, the soft light from the window above the sink making it shine even more. “You think we got it all?”

“Hmmm. I think you missed a spot.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What? Where?”

He leaned closer to the shield, face right besides yours, cheeks practically brushing together. “Right…here.” His hand that you didn’t notice cupping water, came up and splashed your face.

You let out a shriek, stepping back, further into his chest, your jaw dropped. “Steven! My pjs!”

He cackled, leaning back and holding his chest, before gasping when you did the same thing back to him. “You’re on!” He grabbed his shield and filled it with water, making you squeak and try getting out of his hold. Stupid Super Soldier strength. He dumped it on you, water falling on your head, sliding down your back and making your pajamas stick to you. You quickly retaliated, grabbing the facet and turning it towards him, laughing at his shout.

The water fight continued for a few more minutes, bowls and cups coming into play, with Steve diving behind the counter and you slipping on the floor.

“Woah, there, honey!” He chuckled, the chortles coming from your lips reassuring him that you weren’t hurt. He leaned over you, reaching his hand out. “You okay?”

You nodded, taking his hand. “Let’s call it a truce, yeah?”

“Truce? Hell no! I won!”

“You did not! You just got lucky!”

He pulled you up, tugging you close. “Alright, alright. Fine. A truce. Let’s get you into some dry clothes, now. Don’t want you gettin’ sick, honey.”

You shook your head. “That’s actually a myth.”

“I’ll take note of that.”

An eyebrow of yours raised. “In that little notebook you never let me read?”

He smiled innocently. “Maybe. I added something else yesterday.” He informed you while tugging you down the hall to your room.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Marvin Gaye’s Trouble Man Soundtrack.”

You hummed with an approving nod. “Yeah. That was a good suggestion. Who gave it to you?’

“This guy I met on my run.” He shrugged, heading over to his dresser as you grabbed a couple towels. “Sam Wilson. He seemed like a good guy.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded, grabbed another set of sweats and a shirt, before turning to you and taking the towel you handed him. “Yeah. He served two tours in Afghanistan. Now he’s working down at the VA. Told me to drop by sometime.”

“Aww.” You stood on your tiptoes to ruffle his hair. “My bubba’s all grown up and making friends.”

He rolled his eyes, ducking away from your hand and running his own through his hair. “Yeah, yeah.” His smile dropped as he looked at the clothes in his hand. “I think I’m gonna head out now. I should talk to Fury.”

You frowned. “You have all day, Steve. Just eat first, okay?”

“Okay.”

He was holding something back, you could tell. Picking out your clothes for the day, you decided to question him about it. “What’re you thinking about?”

Your backs turned to each other, you started changing, just as you’d down countless times before. “I was thinking about going to the Air and Space Museum again. If you wanna come.”

“You know I do.”

It was quiet for a few more minutes, only the sound of rustling clothes and zippers filling the air. “I-I think I’m gonna go after. To see her, I mean.”

You froze, keeping your heart and your breathing steady so he wouldn’t pick up on anything. “It’ll be good for you. She…she always knows what to say.”

“So do you.”

You cleared your throat, finishing with the final touches of your outfit. “I actually forgot that I have some stuff to finish up at HQ today, so I dunno if I’ll be able to go-”

His hand grabbed your wrist, turning you around, eyes pleading and face fallen. “Please. Please come with me. Honey. I need you there. With me. Please.”

You inwardly cursed yourself for falling for those puppy eyes, a soft sigh leaving your lips. “Okay, bubs. I’ll come with you.” You might regret it later, but the relief that washed over his features was worth it for now. The power he had over you scared you, especially since you knew he didn’t realize the hold he had on you, but you couldn’t help it. It happened quickly, swiftly, and you were down before you recognized it. And you didn’t know how to deal with it other than taking it one day at a time.

“Let’s go get some breakfast, now. I can promise it’s at least decent.”

The beam he shot you made your heart flutter no matter how hard you tried keeping calm. “I’m sure it’s better than anything I could ever make.” He pulled you close, lips brushing over your forehead. “Thank you.”

“For what?” You sighed, leaning your head against his, eyes closing.

“Existing.”

***********

***********

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All Works Taglist (Open):

@happygoreading​

@bibliophilewednesday​

[demonsandmischief]

Come Home To Me (Something Special Spin-Off)

Marvel - A Sam Wilson Imagine

Sam Wilson x Female Reader

1K Words

Here's Something Special (Bucky's Story). You might want to read it for this to make sense.

PLEASE NOTE: this does contain spoilers for TFATWS. This starts off at the party that's at the end of ep 6. Also you might need to read Bucky's Story for this AU to make sense (link above). Bucky's girl doesn't have a name since it's technically 'you' lol I hope it's not confusing. enjoy!!

The Beginning.

----

Sam Wilson watched Bucky and his girl sway contentedly to the music, the slightest bit of envy tugging at his chest.

It had been a good party, celebrating him taking up the mantle of Captain America, and he and Bucky seemed to have developed a new level of understanding for each other. There was no one more deserving of a soulmate then him.

"Sam, I don't see why you don't just try," Sarah, his sister, whispered. She was talking about the dreams, having caught on to the longing in his eyes.

"Don't you think I have? We've talked about this before, let's not talk about it right now."

Sarah sighed with a nod, "Alright then, do you want to dance? I know your mopey ass can't keep up with me."

Sam chuckled, "Yeah, right."

They moved over towards Bucky who lifted his head with a soft smile.

"Hi guys," his girl also gave a gentle smile. "Do you want to dance, Sam?"

"Hey," Bucky frowned, looking down at her. "We were having a moment."

"I'd love to dance. It's a way better option than dancing with my sister. Move out of the way cyborg," Sam grinned.

Bucky huffed, but he couldn't be upset, not when he had a beautiful girl still looking at him like he held the world. And for her, he did.

"He loves you," Sam murmured, watching as her eyes followed Bucky as he laughed at something Sarah said.

Even in the low light he could see her blush, "You have someone special out there for you too, you know? Either way, you have me and Buck and Sarah, all of these wonderful people who love and support you."

It was quiet after that. Sam's head filling with daydreams, of hope and future.

"You want to piss him off?" Sam asked mischievously.

"I'm not sure," she giggled.

Sam took that as a yes, putting his hand on her waist and dipping her back. She laughed, grabbing his arms so she didn't fall.

"That's enough, Sam," Bucky growled, pulling her to his chest.

"I think he's got better moves than you," she teased.

----

After Sam helped clean up from the party, he returned home. The house was quiet. Sarah had returned earlier to put her boys to sleep, and he didn't even want to know what Bucky and his girl were up to.

His mind was running with what she had told him. He wasn't really alone, not at all. He had the best friends and family anybody could ask for. Plus, with being Captain America, he was going to be a busy man.

Yet, he couldn't bury the longing he felt. The pain of loneliness curling through his body like a snake. He wanted to share his life with somebody, have someone to come home to.

With his mind made up, he was going to try the dreams again. It had been a while since he last tried. Every time he did, no one ever showed up.

When he fell asleep, his dreams took him to the a room that he was too familiar with. It was pitch black, and the world shifted intensely under his feet. It was like he couldn't stand up straight.

"Hello?" he called.

The room was empty.

----

"You're too quiet. What's wrong?" Bucky asked, gathering plates for breakfast.

Sam hesitated, but he remembered when the man had confided in him. Maybe it would be okay to talk to someone.

"They never show up," he said, eyes concentrating on the pancakes he was flipping. "Every single night. There has to be something wrong with me."

Bucky moved closer. "You know how I felt about the whole thing. They could be scared. You should keep trying. Besides, being Captain America, giving up isn't an option." He patted his back, disappearing into the dining room.

Sam tried again that night.

"Hello?" he called.

"I'm sorry," a sweet voice called back. Sam's heart thudded viciously in his chest. It seemed to match the movement of the dark room, shrouding him in the intense sound.

"It's okay. Why can't I see you? Are you alright?" he managed to yell back.

"No. They're watching me. This is the only chance I had. I'm sorry."

Sam woke up in a cold sweat. You were supposed to forget your dreams, but there was no way he would ever forget that.

They're watching me. What the hell? Pure nightmare fuel.

"Could you see, in your dreams, I mean?" Sam asked Bucky the next day as they sat on his boat.

Bucky blew out air, "From what I remember, yeah. I could only see her I think. Why?"

Sam told him about his dream, taking a drink to swallow down the fear and confusion.

"I don't have any answers for you. I wish I did," Bucky consoled. "Some progress is better than no progress, though. Right?"

---

On the third night, Sam really considered not showing up, but what if he missed his chance? The entire thing was just so draining.

"Can you come get me?" the same female voice called, this time fearful and exhausted. "I'm running out of time, but I think I am in a warehouse of some sort. It's filled with people. There's locked rooms in the basement."

----

Sam listened intently. He needed to remember. He needed to get to you.

Here's Part 2

What did you think?? Let me know if you want off or on the tag list.

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[youngbugandtonystank]

And now anti Tony people are blaming him for letting Sam’s family being in financial trouble wtf the man is dead! Let him rest!

Yeah, I saw. 

They’re definitely going to keep doing that, gotta say, the MCU never failed with Tony's character, they created circumstances for him exactly just like Stan envisioned. The ‘love-to-hate’ trope is strong when it comes to him, this is what Stan wanted out of Tony Stark's relationship with his fans/audience. Thing is, the reality of the MCU superhero is that they’re all flawed. None of them are exempt from anything. Why Tony gets more hate than the others?

He’s the most popular character. There’s no discussion in this instance. Popular superheroes that first come to people’s minds are always Batman, Iron Man and Spider-Man. Tony Stark/Iron Man is a pop culture legend and the fact that RDJ got to portray him as great as he did, helped a lot. People are always going to circle back to the character who has more hype and audience. 

He’s the one with the money. The fact that Tony is swimming in money automatically makes him the target of the ‘eat the rich’ mentality. People fail to remember that other characters such as T’Challa (who has more money than Tony would ever wish to see and lives in the most technologically advanced country in the world), Shuri, Thor (a literal king with a kingdom), The Pym family, Danny Rand (he has a net worth of $5 billion and is one of the richest comic book characters of all time), etc exist. And we still haven’t seen the other Marvel characters (in the MCU) that are richer than Tony like Reed Richards, Professor X, Warren Worthington, Norman Osborn, Namor, Doctor Doom, etc. 

Even if some of us see RDJ as attractive and good looking, some people don’t. For them, RDJ is nothing compared to Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Sebastian Stan, etc. It’s easier to hate a character you don’t find attractive. And also the fact that they find those actors relatively younger than RDJ. 

It’s the most shippable character. This also means he must be in the way of some other ships. Even if this sounds unbelievable, many people don’t get their irrational hate for a character until it dawns on them that they only hate him because he either treated one half of their ship unfairly or because he’s in the way of that ship. The more reasons they can find to hate him, the more legitimate their senseless hatred seems in their minds.

People don’t call out characters like T’Challa or Shuri because they’re scared of being called ‘racist’. T’Challa is so rich that Howard Stark could only buy (just an assumption, it’s a possibility he stole the vibranium lmao) only a portion of vibranium to build Steve’s shield, and because is the world’s most indestructible material, his worth is approximately $10,000 a gram (Fantastic Four #607) and Wakanda's vaults hold 10,000 tons of the material (Doomwar #1) T’Challa is not a billionaire, he’s a trillionaire lmaoooo everyone else is a joke compared to him.

Even having all of this info, Tony and T’Challa owe nothing to anyone.

T’Challa helped Bucky because of his principles (Tony offered to do this at the beginning as well until of course, he found out he killed his parents) but because of that, that doesn't mean T’Challa owes Steve, Sam, Wanda, and Natasha money or housing assistance. He didn't give it to them at all and he doesn’t have to. 

James Rhodes: Well. You guys really look like crap. Must've been a rough couple of years.

Sam Wilson: Yeah, well, the hotels weren't exactly five star.

Wanna know why? Because T’Challa knows they’re adults and they make their own decisions. Sam chose to be on Steve’s side, Wanda did too, Natasha too, etc. Adults make decisions and they should deal with the consequences that come with that. Tony was not going to deal with their financial problems because they made a choice and it’s not his problem to deal with. Tony is not their father. People need to ask themselves why Sam was not in the ‘lift the hammer’ scene after the party, because he wasn’t familiar with them, he wasn’t friends with Tony, only with Steve. Besides that fact, they all fought Tony, hurt his best friend, and left him to deal with the rest in CW. They’re not family.

Sam Wilson: No, I'm not actually sorry. I'm just trying to sound tough. I'm very happy chasing cold leads on our missing persons case. Avenging is your world. Your world is crazy. Steve Rogers: Be it ever so humble. Sam Wilson: You find a place in Brooklyn yet? Steve Rogers: I don't think I can afford a place in Brooklyn. Sam Wilson: Well, home is home, you know?

There’s absolutely no reason Steve can’t afford a place. He’s an adult, he has a good reputation, he worked for shield (why aren’t yall on Nick Fury’s ass if he had Steve and the others as employees? Fury set an entire place for Clint, why can’t he do it for the rest of them, he is the founder of the Avengers after all), and was pretty much capable of doing stuff for others. Tony provided them with a home while they were working together, he doesn’t need to concern himself with their personal problems because they’re not actual friends. Rhodey is his friend. Happy is his friend. Also consider the fact that maybe Sam didn’t want his help? 

And let’s also take into consideration that Tony is not only an Avenger, but Tony is also a businessman, an inventor, an engineer, has a company to keep an eye on, he is the one who finances the Avengers’ messes and other superhero messes too by co-owning the department of damage control, etc. He has other things to do. The rest of the Avengers are adults too, they should seek a job that could give them a future too, not just depend on Tony’s money. Tony had a family and he had to make sure they were covered after his death, this includes, Pepper (his wife, therefore she gets his stuff), Peter (his son, he left him EDITH, he’s basically set for life with that given the A.I. has access to the majority of his things including bank accounts), Morgan (his daughter; his responsibility), Happy and Rhodey (I’m sure we’ll see what he left them in Armor Wars). Why? They’re his actual family. 

If some of you know this and you’re still looking for reasons to put the blame on him, you’re failing to recognize you’re obsessed with hating Tony just for the sake of being right. Wouldn’t you like a life where you don’t have to constantly look for reasons to hate on a fictional character, better yet, a character you don’t like at all. Why the effort? You can love Tony and Sam at the same time, I promise you, this is not going to kill you. 

So please, instead of whining about Tony Stark all the time, why don’t yall just enjoy the fact that the show is showing you a vital and important event that happens in life while representing a part of Sam’s life to add to his emotional depth and character development? Especially because he’s a superhero and possibly the next Captain America, it’s good to see someone who is supposed to be a figure (superhero) whose actions or achievements are far greater than what people expect deal with normal things. They’re giving you a background; a solid storyline for his character. Let it be. Enjoy the shows yall, you can’t keep coming back to blame Tony for everything that happens after every single movie or Disney+ show, look for another metaphorical punching bag. The man is dead. 

[fightmewiatch]

Our Friends

About: Follow up to You Have My Word; you connect with Sam and Bucky, after the events in Falcon & the Winter Soldier Pairing/Characters: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Sarah Wilson, (sort of) Bucky x Reader 

          Nothing was the same. The last time things were in a good place - or even a semi-good place - was before, when Steve and Sam were taking refuge with you waiting to see if Ross would find them. But after years immersed amongst the Avengers, learning how to fight and survive from the best and the strongest, and mastering how to stay under the radar. It helped you help them, when they needed it, even if that help was just to get them from Point A to Point B. 

         Things were getting better, but good was still so far out of the equation. 

         The water was cool on your toes as you sat on the edge of the dock, arms resting on your thighs as you looked down at the ripples. The voices buzzed back by the house as people chatted with each other, with Sarah and the boys. The thumps of footsteps behind you made you tilt your head, but you didn’t look, knowing you certainly weren’t in any danger.

“You know, the party is back there.”

“Yeah, I know,” you chuckled, nodding your head. Sam nodded, too, looking out over the water, before he glanced at you.

“What’s going on, kid?”

“Hey, I’m older than I used to be,” you pointed out, brow raised, before you paused, and frowned, looking out at the water, yourself. “Having a rough day.”

“Wanna talk about it?” 

“Shouldn’t you be helping Sarah?”

“Shouldn’t you be over there distracting Buck so I don’t have to threaten him for talking to my sister?” You huffed, smiling a little with a shrug. “Come on, you can always talk to me, that hasn’t changed.”

         You were quiet for a moment, but he could see the furrow in your brow as you tried to figure out how to put it into words. Sam didn’t push, he never did, but he did shift a little beside you, quietly reminding you that he was there. With a soft sigh, you shook your head, and rolled your shoulders.

“Everyone was supposed to come back, Sam.”

“What?”

“When you guys left, after the call from Bruce, everyone was supposed to come back, things were supposed to go back to normal. But when Steve and Nat came back, you and Bucky and Wanda and Vis were all gone. And when you and Bucky came back, Steve and Nat were gone. You guys left to help, and then…” 

“Everything changed.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” you insisted, looking at him. “I’m so glad you’re back, and the world is back, but...Natasha is gone. Tony is gone. Steve is gone. And I didn’t get to say goodbye to any of them. And it’s so��.it feels like…”

         Sam could see you struggling, and shifted closer, reaching up to rub his hand over your back.

“I know.” Sighing, you glanced behind you, seeing Sarah talking to Bucky before they both looked towards the dock. 

“I’m sorry,” you told him, shaking your head. “I know...that you didn’t get to say goodbye to Nat either...and you really didn’t get to say goodbye to Tony and Steve.” Sam shrugged a little bit, squeezing your shoulder.

“It sucks, there’s no lying about that. But you don’t have to apologize to me. They were your friends, too,” he pointed out. “You know what helps me move forward?” You hummed, tilting your head curiously. “The people behind us. My sister, my nephews, and yeah, even the tin man.” Chuckling, you looked back again, this time seeing Bucky was a little closer, and he waved a little awkwardly, making you blush as you waved back. “I think the tin man even has a soft spot for you.”

“...shut up, Sam.”

“I think you have a soft spot for him, too.”

“I am pretty sure I said shut up,” you huffed, biting your lip. 

“...Steve would want you to be happy. They would all want you to be happy.”

“They’d want you happy too, Captain America.” Sam groaned, but he smiled as he climbed to his feet. 

“I think this time, you need to shut up,” Sam teased you, helping you up. “Look. If anyone is gonna understand the feeling, it’s gonna be me, and it’s gonna be tin man.”

“He does have a name,” you reminded Sam, amused.

“So if you start having that moment again, ya know, just...come find us. We’ll cheer you up.”

         Bucky lingered at the end of the dock, watching as you hugged Sam, before he patted your shoulder and headed back towards the house. With a nod and a pat to Bucky’s arm, Sam was gone to the house, and you were leaning against one of the bracings, pulling your socks and shoes back on. 

“Sarah, um...said the grill was almost ready, so we should be able to eat soon.”

“Awesome...I’m starving,” you admitted with a laugh, putting your foot down and heading towards him. 

“So, is...everything okay?” he asked, turning a little as you reached him. You paused, peering up at him, before biting your lip and blushing.

“Yeah...just...missing our old friends.”

         Bucky hesitated a moment, pursing his lips, before he reached out and slung his arm around your shoulders. With a smile, you leaned into his side, slipping your arm around his waist. 

“Come on...let’s go eat and have a couple beers while I pretend the alcohol does anything to me.”

“Ah, Buck, you know how to sweet talk a gal.” He laughed a little, rolling his eyes at you, as the two of you joined the others.

--------

Part Three: A Trip

[professorrw]

Undeniable Feelings

Pairing: female reader x Sam Wilson

Warnings: swearing, fluff, friends to lovers

A/N: This wasn’t requested but I it was an idea I had written down and I finally had the time to write it. This is the longest one-shot I’ve done so far at over 3,000 words. I hope you all like it and if you did, heart, comment, and reblog! If you want to be added to a taglist feel free to ask! 

Next Up: Peter Parker x Reader fluff request

Your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out to see a text from Sam.

“I gotta ask you something. I’ll come by later.”

You reply with a thumbs up emoji and put your phone away.

Huh, what did he want to ask you? You couldn’t imagine he would have time in his schedule to even talk to you now that he was Captain America. He sighed reminiscing on how far you both had come. You started out as some kids in the Air Force and now you were working undercover and Sam was Captain America. 

It felt like just yesterday when you and Sam decided to enlist. You were basically kids back then. It was astonishing you managed to stay friends through it all.

You were proud of Sam. He deserves recognition for all his hard work. You had read multiple articles on how people felt about a black Captain America and it was mostly positive, which was relieving. 

Your mind returned to the task you were supposed to do. You briskly moved past the pedestrians of New York and went into a small bar, rumored to be running an underground black market.

You got there just on time and waited in the corner as the first suspect rolled in. You approached the bar as the man walked in. He went to the end of the counter and you got as close as you could without being suspicious. The bartender came over and you ordered a beer, which you didn’t intend to drink.

The man next to you spoke to the bartender in a hushed voice, whispering things you could just barely pick up. You recited the words in your head as the suspect left the bar. You lingered for a few more minutes to receive your beer, which you gave to a woman that was a few seats down.

The sidewalk was packed as usual and you were shoved a few times on the way to your apartment. You shoved your key into the lock and opened the door to your average home. It wasn’t big by any means, but it was decent for New York City.

You relayed the information you gathered to your superiors, letting them know that you were done for the day.

You relaxed for a few hours, sitting on the couch and catching up on the shows everyone was watching. It was nearly eight when you got a knock on your door. It had a beat to it, only the type of knock you know Sam would do.

You don’t know why he even bothers knocking when he has a key. He didn’t live there but before he was Captain America and an Avenger he would come over all the time and you got tired of unlocking the door. You craned your neck as he walked in carrying a bag of takeout.

“I know you haven’t had supper yet so I stopped to get some. And it's your favorite, Chinese.” He flashes you a smile and sets the bag down on the coffee table in front of the couch. You don’t even wait for him to sit down before you grab a styrofoam container and plastic utensils. 

“Damn you're hungry.” He chuckles and tucks into the couch next to you.

“As always,” you reply.

Eating Chinese on your couch with Sam felt so normal. It was something you hadn’t done in a long time due to your jobs. No matter how far away you were, you stayed friends. Sam wasn’t the type to just lose contact with people, especially not his best friend. You could remember how long and lanky he used to be in high school and looking at him now you could see how much he had filled out.

“Whatcha watchin’?” He made a gesture toward the TV with his fork.

“Random show.” As you popped another piece of chicken in your mouth you remembered the whole reason he was coming over. “What did you want to ask me?”

“Oh yeah. Well…” he trailed off and gave you a cheeky smile. “There’s this ball I’ve been invited to. They said I could bring a plus one and I was hoping you would come with me.” He cocked his head to the side slightly and raised his eyebrows as if saying, “So how about it?”

You had been to a few ball type parties before for your job but you were never there for your own enjoyment. You would be going as Sam’s date. No, not date, plus one. You would be happy to accompany him.

“When is it?”

“Uh… Friday night.”

“Oh that’s soon, like, in three days.”

“I know it’s short notice. You don’t have to go with me. I can go solo.”

“No, no, I’ll go. I’ll go.”

He gives you a smile, showing the gap between his front teeth. He used to get picked on for it in elementary school but you thought it was cute. Sam in general was cute, more like hot honestly. Gosh, why were you thinking about your best friend that way? It’s normal right? You’ve known each other for so long it’s natural to think of him like that. You’d thought of him that way for a long time actually.

Before you went your separate ways career wise you liked him. You kept on telling yourself you would tell him but you never got the chance. And then you were both so busy with your jobs you didn’t think it would work out. You still to this day regretted never telling him. Him working with the Avengers and now being Captain America made it seem even more impossible.

Sam stayed for a few hours longer, leaving when both of your eyes were droopy. Before he headed out the door he hugged you. A really tight hug at that. You hadn’t seen each other in a while but why did he hug you like that? He usually stuck to a one-armed hug if anything. Maybe it was because you accepted his invitation?

“I’ll pick you up at seven. See ya bug.” He laughed as you tossed a pillow towards him. He wasn’t literally calling you a bug. The nickname came from your childhood fear of all bugs, even butterflies. He always teased you about it, finding rollie pollies and hanging them in your face while you squealed. He thought it was hilarious but young you found it very aggravating.

You went about the days until the ball normally, but when you weren’t focused on work your mind would drift to the ball. You were going to be Sam’s plus one. That meant you would have to dance together right? You felt butterflies in your stomach when you thought about Sam’s hands on your waist as you were pressed together. You felt like a giddy teenager again for the first time in years. 

You could remember in high school when Sam would ask his crushes out to dances and you would watch longingly off to the side with some random guy. For so long you were hopelessly in love with him, your best friend. 

Friday night eventually rolled around. Thankfully, you didn’t have work that day. By five o’clock you finally started getting ready. You took a shower, did your makeup, did your hair, and picked out your outfit. The dress you chose was one you’d never worn before. It was gorgeous and you never felt like the events you were attending would do it justice. You knew that tonight was the perfect time to wear it.

After you put on accessories you stood in front of your full length mirror. You weren’t one to boast but you looked absolutely stunning. You knew you would knock the socks off of Sam.

A short while later someone knocks on your door. This time you open it. As soon as the door opened you were both staring at each other. Your jaw almost dropped to the floor as you took in the way Sam looked. He looked finer than ever in a well tailored black suit and shoes. If you looked up the definition of sexy Sam’s photo would definitely be there. He wasn’t the only one that was ogling. In his eyes you looked like a goddess, so beautiful you seemed unreal.

“Wow- You- Wow. You look amazing.” He couldn’t take his eyes off you as you slipped an arm into his. 

“You’re looking pretty sharp yourself, Wilson.”

You got in Sam’s car and drove to the venue. The venue was magnificent. It was one of the few ballrooms you hadn’t been to before. Reports surrounded the building as you stepped out of the car, arm in arm with Sam. The flashing cameras nearly blinded you. Everyone wanted an exclusive photo of the Captain America.

Reporters thrusted microphones into your faces as you passed and one nearly smacked you in the nose. Sam pulled you closer and quickened his pace so you could get away from all the chaos.

The inside of the building was grand. The walls and ceiling were ornate with engravings and rich colors. Chandeliers hung from the high ceilings, casting the room in a dreamlike glow. The main ballroom was full and loud. There were definitely more than 300 people there. 

Sam’s arm left your waist and dropped to his side as he took in the whole scene. You were somewhat disappointed that he stopped holding you, but he didn’t know that.

You had barely made it through the doors when a robust man came up to you both. “Welcome! Mr. Wilson, or should I say Cap, I’m glad you could make it!” The man spoke with a Jersey accent and in a very animated way, hands and arms accentuating every word. Just from seeing and hearing him you could tell he was a character. 

Sam wasn’t deterred by the big personality and shook his meaty hand, “Thank you Mr. Gafner. It’s an honor to be here.” Unlike Mr. Gafner, Sam spoke with a cool confidence that made him seem even more suave than he looked.

“Ahh! You humble an old man! It’s an honor to have you. Now that the parties here we can get this shindig started. Shall we?”

Mr. Gafner clapped Sam on the back and sent a thumbs up to someone across the room. Not a second later music began to play from a group of people on the side of a stage. The music sounded familiar, classical music with a modern twist almost. It wasn’t your typical gala music, but it was far from rave music.

Mr. Gafner walked away to tend to other guests, leaving you and Sam to fend for yourselves. You didn’t recognize any of the people there. The mayor and a few other higher ranking government officials were the only ones you recognized. You guessed the rest or the attendees were also government officials and local socialites.

It was like being at a party where you only knew one person all over again. It was strange how often you had been feeling like a teen again recently. Maybe it was Sam’s close proximity in your life again. You texted and talked over the phone but it wasn’t the same as being in person and that must have been the reason for all these resurfacing feelings.

You didn’t know where to go or what to do. You never planned what you would actually do when you arrived. All you could think about was being with Sam. Luckily he was still by your side, but you assumed that wouldn’t last long.

Sure enough when other guests noticed him a flock of them came over. You thought you would be swallowed and then spit out on the other side of the room by the crowd but that wasn’t the case. Sam could sense your unease and made sure to keep you close, arm slinking around you once again. You didn’t know it but he was feeling just as lost as you were. It was all a part of his new job as Captain America.

Sam quickly became the center of attention. Even the mayor came to congratulate him. No one acknowledged you, and as the minutes passed you felt more like an accessory than a person. You were used to blending in, so why did this bother you so much? 

You were shuffling back and forth on your feet, eager to move yet unable to escape due to the bubble that surrounded you both. You literally let out a breath of relief when Mr. Gafner went on stage and spoke into a microphone.

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen! You all look lovely tonight, but I’m sure you already know that.”

A few chuckles came from the crowd, which was now moving to sit at the circular tables on the sides of the dance floor. There were place cards for everyone to find their seats and it seemed like you and Sam were the only ones that didn’t know where yours were located.

As your host continued to talk you finally found your spots, which happened to be near the stage. You both sat down and got comfortable, preparing yourselves to hear a long speech. You tuned back into Mr. Gafner’s just as he was saying, “We have a very special guest tonight, and no it’s not me, someone even more special. We have in attendance tonight, the one, the only, Samuel Wilson.”

Polite applause erupted in the room but quieted when the man resumed speaking. “If you would, Mr. Wilson, grace us with a speech?” Your eyes shot to Sam as he said that. You didn’t know Sam was supposed to make a speech and from Sam’s wide eyes you could tell he didn’t either.

He quickly fixed his face, standing up and making his way to the front. Mr. Gafner handed over the mic, giving Sam the floor. 

“Hello. As you know, I am Captain America, but formerly known as the Falcon. Since I took on this role I’ve been really busy. Steve never talked about the press conference side of things, unfortunately.”

There were a few laughs and Sam paused before he continued. As his speech went on you could tell he was getting a little nervous. He started talking faster, which was a tell-tale sign. You weren’t sure why he was nervous, the whole room was fully focused on him, listening intently as he talked. A reporter even managed to slip in with a camera and record. 

Sam’s gaze momentarily shifted to the side to look at you and in that moment you smiled at him. Sam’s nerves seemed to melt away, and he was back to his grinning self in a second.

“This is truly an honor and I have so many people to thank for this. I want to wrap this up with a simple and short, thank you. Thank you my fellow people, thank you to everyone on this Earth, and the biggest thank you to my best friend, who was there through it all.”

The room erupted in applause once again, but much louder than before. Everyone in general was clapping loudly but you had no doubt that you were clapping the loudest. You were so goddamn proud of him. 

He waved as he walked back to your table, beaming. 

“I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what? Become Captain America or give a speech?”

“Low blow! I can give a speech now for your information.”

“You sure as hell couldn’t in elementary. You puked as soon as you got off the damn stage.”

You were both cracking up, paying no attention to the other people at your table.

Inevitably more people flocked to Sam, praising his speech. You were saved once again by the music picking up and people migrated to the dance floor. You sat watching the crowd as they slowly danced.

“You wanna dance bug?” Sam held his hand out, offering it to you.

“Sure, why not?” You did your best to act nonchalant. You couldn’t tell if Sam knew that butterflies were fluttering in your stomach.

You took his hand, letting him guide you to the middle of the room. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you against him. Your arms slid behind his neck and then you started to sway along with the music. You rested your head on his chest and were able to hear his heartbeat. It was faster than normal, but that might have been because he was still pumped from the speech.

You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to be fully in the moment. It was something out of a fairytale. You two in the middle of the dance floor swaying together. It fulfilled all your teenage dreams, but you found yourself wishing for the same things now as an adult. You wanted Sam. There was no doubt about it. The past few days just proved that even further. 

The song came to a close and couples started switching partners. You lifted your head to meet Sam’s eyes, which were already looking into yours. You wanted so badly to kiss him, to just lean forward and close that distance between you. After waiting for so long, for so many years, you were going to tell him. 

“Sam-” you were cut off by a woman tapping your shoulder. 

“May I?” she asked.

Of course that was just your luck. You felt dejected. You were finally about to tell him but you were interrupted. Maybe that was the world’s way of saying that it wasn’t supposed to happen.

You were about to let go of Sam when he spoke up, “Actually we were about to go outside for some fresh air. If you’ll excuse us.” You looked back at the lady as Sam pulled you along with a hand on your back. She looked dumbfounded, shocked that he would reject her.

Sam pulled you through the back doors and into the brisk night air. This area of the building was blocked off and could only be accessed by going through the hall, which meant that no paparazzi could get to you. 

You were only able to take one breath before Sam turned to you. “Y/N- I- I love you.”

It was so sudden you thought you heard him wrong. But no, you heard him right. He had a vulnerable look in his eyes, did he expect you not to reciprocate those feelings?

Your heart fluttered and you felt a trickle of relief flood throughout you. “I love you too.”

“You’re not pulling my leg?” His eyebrows were turned upwards in the middle from genuine worry.

“No Sam. I’ve loved you for years.” You were unaware that you were inching closer and closer to him but he wasn’t. You both wanted the same thing and so Sam went for it. He put a hand on your neck, thumb grazing your jaw. He took the last step forward and kissed you. It seemed the whole word lit up, fireworks going off just for you two.

Time stood still, the world was revolving around you and Sam, together at last.

Taglist: @bellamy1998​

[forasecondtherewedwon]

3 Simple Rules for Dating a Centenarian - ch. 3

Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Pairing: Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes Rating: T Chapters: 3/3

Read chapters one and two on Tumblr.

Chapter three summary: Sam and Bucky take a breather from Sharon’s party in High Town.

Sam walks back into the room from before. The one that could be a high-end boutique, or the lobby of a shady but untouchable law firm, or the backdrop for a photoshoot featuring an Avenger who wanted their surroundings to exude enviable elegance and expensiveness without at all detracting from their presence. Not to name names, or speak disdainfully of the dead.

Shrugging off the brown leather jacket Sharon leant him, Sam tosses it at the couch. Yeah, technically it’s on a collision course with the back of Bucky’s head, but since Bucky dodges without turning to look, he figures he can claim poor aim. Which Sam would normally never do, especially to Bucky, but he has downed a few drinks tonight. Sharon wanted them to blend in at the party; Sam couldn’t see an easier way to blend than by doing his bit to deplete the contents of the event’s bar. He sure as hell wasn’t going to stand there pumping his arm to the beat like that motherfucker Zemo. Sam doesn’t know exactly what to blame for the Baron’s excruciating dance moves, he’s just glad he got away. Being near enough to Zemo for people to assume they were acquainted? Come on. That’s just insult on top of injury.

Bucky’s head swivels to follow him once Sam tracks into his line of sight.

“Where’s Zemo?” is the first thing he says.

Sam avoids his gaze until he’s good and comfortable on the couch at his side. It’s closer than he meant to be, since the damn thing has a curve to it, but the chairs don’t look comfortable. Unless, he supposes, you’re a percher, like Sharon. Sam doesn’t perch.

To cover for the fact that he picked his seat without thorough reconnaissance and is, with his inhibitions a little lower than usual, both far too nervous and not nearly nervous enough, Sam spreads his knees to take up even more of the couch, draping his arms along the back. Finally, he glances at Bucky.

“Sharon’s doing her shift as babysitter,” Sam says.

“Hasn’t she done enough?”

“You wanna go back down there and spell her, be my guest.”

“Nah,” Bucky says, “I think I’m good.”

Bucky’s jacket is gone too, Sam notes, moving his own from where it landed to the chair opposite. Briefly, he lets himself be curious. Why does Sharon have a wardrobe of men’s clothes in enough sizes and styles to reasonably clad himself, Bucky, and Zemo for the evening? Are these things expensive? Are they valuable, like the Monet he saw on the way in? Maybe the clothes on his back belonged to some celebrity and are set to be sold off to the highest bidder. If that weren’t a selling point before, it could be now—everything itemized and tagged as having been worn by Sam Wilson, the Falcon, the Man Who Wouldn’t Be Captain America.

In the short silence, Sam feels himself beginning to frown, but he’s just the right side of buzzed to prevent those thoughts from dragging him down. He’s a cheerful drunk. Always has been. A hugger, a giggler, a piggyback ride-giver in his younger years.

“Do you think she’s doing alright?” Bucky asks, forever ready to be morose. “Sharon?” Sam wants to stick his finger in the indentation between Bucky’s eyebrows and wiggle it until the seriousness drops from his face. He wants to smooth his thumb over Bucky’s chin, wipe out the memory of Zemo’s touch when he offered Bucky to Selby like a thing instead of a human being. “I know she took your deal, a favour for a favour, but I’ve been trying to work out what my debt to her is. My notebook—”

“There’s no math for it, Buck,” Sam says. Though his tone is lazy, his words are certain. “Who owes what to who. We just have to make it right.” Mildly annoyed that he’s been drawn back into a heavy conversation, he sighs and slings his foot up to rest his ankle on his opposite knee. The movement bumps Bucky’s thigh momentarily. “Think I might owe Sharon a little less now that she made me wear a turtleneck to that party.”

Bucky snorts a laugh. Sam turns his head and gives him the finger, though he’s also smiling.

“I’m laughing at what you said,” Bucky claims, “not the shirt. You coulda picked something else.”

“It’s black and doesn’t have a pattern. After that Smiling Tiger getup, I felt like being inconspicuous, ok?”

“Ok. You don’t need my approval.”

“You’re damn right I don’t,” Sam agrees, still grinning.

“Suits you,” Bucky half-mumbles.

Sam huffs from his nose, all his laughter in that puff of air as he faces forward again, then tips his head back to check out Sharon’s high ceiling. With nothing but night through the tall windows and the room under-illuminated by the two lamps either left on by their host or switched on by Bucky, the ceiling’s dark grey instead of white. Shadowy. Unlike the menacing shadows that seemed to stretch after them on the streets of Low Town, sending an unpleasant tickle up the back of Sam’s neck, these are soft. It’s a surprisingly peaceful end to the day, considering what the past 24 hours have encompassed. Suddenly, Sam feels as though he’s been awake a long, long time. Doesn’t mean he’s ready to sleep yet.

“So,” he says, “downstairs. Why’d you leave? Most date-like thing we’ve done yet and I tear my eyes away from the trainwreck of Zemo’s dancing to find you gone.”

“The noise, the crowd, Zemo,” Bucky emphasizes, “like you said.”

“You brought him.”

“I know, I just…” Bucky slumps forward and hangs his head, hands clasped between his knees. He turns pained eyes on Sam and Sam moves his hand from the back of the couch to Bucky’s shoulder. From there to his upper back. From a grounding pressure to a gentle rub. Just a couple times, but he doesn’t pull away, perennially touchy when less than sober. “I don’t want him to control me.”

“He doesn’t,” Sam says firmly. “You were yourself at Selby’s.”

“His version of me. I don’t like the reminder. I don’t want to find out if I’d do it again, in that crowd of people, attack someone just because he told me to.”

“Of course you wouldn’t. I’m trusting you not to.”

“Is that smart?” Bucky asks, expression raw. Sam can feel the heat of his back through his shirt.

“It’s not totally smart. Can’t be, with you involved.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and smiles and Sam wants to cheer.

“I don’t know about that date,” Bucky says lightly, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he leans back into the couch once more. It was a t-shirt under that jacket of his and Sam’s gaze slides to his arms, trying to look without looking. Only because the Vibranium one isn’t on display a lot. That’s all.

“Oh, here we go.”

Sam’s amazed at how his complaint sounds in this room, in this light, on this couch. Like the ceiling, it’s soft.

“It was too loud.”

“The last thing you called a date was a fight on the top of a truck speeding down a highway. Wasn’t exactly quiet.”

“Well,” Bucky tries again, “there were too many people.”

“Again, extra people weren’t a problem last time. Half a dozen Flag-Smashers, as I recall.”

“That was fun and all—”

“Which part?” Sam asks, smiling. “The part where you got hurled into a windshield by the woman you’d assumed was a hostage? Yeah, that part was fun for me too.”

“Can it.”

Bucky accompanies the words with a look that Sam could pick out a mile away as fake-grumpy. It cracks him up and he lifts his hand from Bucky’s back to shove his arm as he laughs.

“You called tonight a date,” Bucky says suddenly.

“No, I said… I said…” Sam squints at nothing as he retrieves his words in his mind. “Date-like.”

“Zemo got in my head and I got in yours.”

Instead of saying this miserably, Bucky looks quietly smug at his joke. Sam needs to set him straight; of course he didn’t think tonight was a date. With a massive bounty on their heads at the other end of Madripoor? With Zemo the third wheel always only an arm’s length away? And the current circumstances are beside the point because, fundamentally, Sam doesn’t know whether or not Bucky’s been joking from the start. Intentionally wrong-footing him, messing with him, like they’ve been doing as long as they’ve known each other.

“You’ve definitely done something,” Sam volunteers.

It’s his fourth drink talking, or maybe the fucking pickled snake organ he forced himself to swallow earlier. His jaw clenches fleetingly at the memory. Sarah’s gonna laugh her ass off when he tells her. Should be enough to balance out whatever ire she’ll be sending his way for that dumb shit he said about laundering money. Although she’ll get that he only said it to avoid getting shot (he won’t tell her how narrow that success was), she still won’t be thrilled that he made himself out to be a criminal. It’s the furthest thing from the kind of people the Wilsons are. He could always point a finger at how Bucky behaved—dropping everyone who ran at him with icily efficient twists and kicks—but he knows how Sarah would look at him, what she’d be thinking. That he and Bucky aren’t held to the same standard, externally or internally. That he talks about Bucky too often, so often that if he let his sister in on this stupid running joke they have about their ops being dates, she’d take it all wrong, think this was something serious and inevitable.

Sam swallows and laces his fingers together in his lap so he won’t reach out for Bucky again.

“I know I should’ve let you in on the plan to spring Zemo from prison,” Bucky says. Oh, he thinks Sam’s words were a subtle criticism, not an admission. That’s… good.

“But?”

“No excuses,” Bucky promises, stretching his neck from side to side. “I shoulda told you. Once I explained it, you would’ve seen that I was right and agreed with me.”

Sam gives the side of Bucky’s head a hard stare until he catches the smirk hiking his lips up on one side.

“Wow,” Sam says dryly, “that was almost you taking responsibility.”

“I take responsibility all the time.”

“The notebook, right?”

“Yeah. Can’t believe Zemo put his fuckin’ hands on something so private, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“I get that it’s private,” Sam assures him, “but you can tell me shit. If you want.”

Bucky’s folded arms loosen and he shoots Sam a sideways glance that scans all over his face, measuring, cataloguing, computing with that cyborg brain Sam teases him about. Sam blinks back. He means it, and he meant it before when he said he’s trusting Bucky.

“Feels a little one-sided,” Bucky says.

“That’s because you won’t come home with me to meet Sarah and the boys. You already got your invitation into my personal life, you just haven’t used it.”

“We’ve been a little busy, Sam.”

Sam sighs loudly and pushes his sleeves up his arms against the warmth of the room.

“You can make time. Once we’re not on Zemo’s schedule.”

“He was supposed to be on ours,” Bucky mutters. “I don’t know how that happened.”

“It happened because you’re an idiot who didn’t tell me the plan.”

“It’s my fault we keep getting shot at.”

Sam ignores that, the happy looseness surging up inside him battling the gravity of Bucky’s self-pity.

“It’s your fault if you didn’t like the date,” he counters. “You got Zemo out of Germany, Zemo brought us to Madripoor. Low Town, Selby, Sharon—all that happened as a consequence. You didn’t like tonight’s date? That’s on you.”

“Date-like,” Bucky corrects with a sly smile. “The noise and the fighting last time were fine—”

“Were they?!”

“—I just thought the next date should be different.”

Sam laughs softly because this isn’t the first time Bucky’s made this sound like more than a joke, but it is the first time he’s done this at night. And without Sam’s sister and nephews in the next room, or the potential for anybody to drive past them on a country road that runs alongside untidy fields, but when they’re truly alone.

“How so?” Sam asks, heart pumping like the bass in the basement, where the party’s carrying on without the two of them.

Bucky loosens his arms even more, until his forearms rest on his thighs, until—when he rocks to the side, repositioning to face Sam—he can rest one on the back of the couch where Sam’s used to be. His hand hangs down and his fingers skim Sam’s shoulder.

“More private,” Bucky confesses.

“I didn’t know that’s what you wanted,” Sam says with an easy laugh because Bucky’s face is still a little too stern, but that could be self-consciousness. “Tell me how to get more than four stars, man.”

“And you’ll do it?”

“Depends. Try me,” he blurts.

He watches Bucky’s face pinch in then relax, going especially slack at the mouth, which gets closer when Bucky angles into his space. Sam’s fingers release and his back straightens as he shifts to square his body to Bucky’s. They’ve done something like this before, locked into stubborn, confrontational posture when Bucky makes Sam’s life difficult by refusing to go along with what he says, but not this. Not this exactly.

Sam doesn’t stiffen or jerk away, so Bucky keeps coming.

“Are you…?” Bucky asks, eyelashes fluttering as his lids raise and lower, looking from Sam’s eyes to his lips. “Is this…?”

Always talking.

Tilting his head and closing his eyes, Sam stamps his mouth to Bucky’s. He goes to break away after a few stunned seconds, but then Bucky’s hand lands on the back of his neck—warm; not the metal one—to hold them together. Sam meets Bucky’s seeking tongue with his own and feels scruff against his face as their mouths test and react to each other. Reflexively, Sam grips the front of Bucky’s tight, black t-shirt. The kiss is quick and feverish and, when Bucky’s fingers untense on his neck, Sam rests his face against Bucky’s.

He wouldn’t say he’s scared to move, but he’s wary. He can’t tell if they’ve fucked up their whole dynamic or taken it, at last, to a level it was always going to reach. Raising a hand to pat the side of his head and check that his goggles are in place, Sam stops, remembering he won’t feel the strap because he’s not in the air. It’s been a while since he felt lightheaded on the ground.

He clears his throat and draws back. Bucky starts to remove his hand from Sam’s neck, but Sam reaches up to keep it there. He juts his chin out challengingly as he holds Bucky’s eyes, thinking, for a second, of their joint session with Dr. Raynor.

“What’s the verdict?” Sam demands.

Bucky stares back solemnly.

“Four and a half.”

“I’m leaving you here in Madripoor,” Sam declares, pointing a finger down at Bucky’s abruptly and broadly grinning face as he pushes up from the couch.

He strides over to Sharon’s crystal decanters, laughing to himself and looking for water. There isn’t any, but she does have an insulated canister of dissolving ice cubes. Sam scoops a few into a tumbler and turns back to look silently at Bucky. He cups the base of the glass in his hot palm. Slowly, the ice starts to melt.

[ldouble]

Helluva Party | Steve Rogers x Reader

summary: As a former employee of S.H.I.E.L.D (on the very front lines), you're somehow pulled into attending a notorious Tony Stark party. That’s where you meet Steve Rogers, officially, and the two of you weirdly click. Two people - trying to make a new life, who keep getting sucked into their old ways.

characters: steve rogers x reader

The elevator effortlessly glides up, but your stomach feels like you’re on the twistiest and turniest roller coaster. You have to put a hand to your torso, repeat the words you tell patients when they feel sick for no reason, remind yourself it’s nothing.

Therapy is one thing to talk someone down from. When you’re calming someone down, its because they’re about to do some major self discovery, scientifically aided, and healed if not completely cured.

They have no reason to worry.

And neither do you.

But Stark Tower is intimidating. Especially when it hosts everything you’ve been trying to forget.

You got a fresh start last year. S.H.I.E.L.D fell. Your work dried up. There was no where else you were needed. Enough had been accidentally cut on your watch with your knife throwing skills. So you did what you always wanted, before your deathly hobby turned into a career. You were now working as a psychiatrist. You got out of your own head to get into others.

Now, you were suddenly crawling back into the brains that you had almost become.

The stop of the elevator had you poised to hit the close door button, ready to make your way back down to the lobby to grab a cab home to your apartment. But your psychologist mind took over, the practice what you preach mentality overtaking, and your finger fell.

By the time the doors opened with a ding, your chin was up and head held somewhat high. It was the quickest reset you had ever performed. If only you had your notorious notebook to jot down how it had worked so well.

You had just remembered the old receipt in your clutch (dated with the last time you dressed up which was ages ago) that you could write on when someone yelled your name. At the sight of Natasha Romanoff, the idea of writing down your findings flew out the window.

“Nat!” You smile, accepting the Russian’s hug.

She reciprocates the action, asking more questions than you usually got out in an hour session with a routine client.

By the time you had make it to the bar you are filled in on all she had been up to, the details of the latest mission in retrieving of Loki’s scepter and all things Bruce.

Natasha gulps at you look once she finished retelling the doctor’s recent findings with the tesseract. She was already shaking her head at your silent implications when you placed a gentle hand over hers.

“As a doctor myself,” Natasha rolls her eyes at the mention of your new job. “No one talks that much about me unless they like me way more than a doctor.”

Natasha bites her lip, mumbling something about how you outfit was too nice to kick me. You laughed, a hearty laugh you hadn’t felt in ages. Upon seeing her recognize the newfound happiness you shooed her behind the bar in ask for a drink. 

She waltzes away giving you just enough time to collect yourself once again. You hate to admit it (acceptance was always the hardest step of grief) but you missed her. You missed the days of fighting, working, living and saving.

It was harder to see the goals you met in your new line of work. It took years to build a client base, see your patients make progress, feel like you’re helping people when all you can do is listen.

It never felt good to kill someone. The sound of a blade whipping through the air was satisfying but nothing felt better than knowing there was less person doing the opposite of helping. Hurting. Hunting. Killing.

So why did you feel like you were doing something similar not being in the field?

You blink the thoughts away, turning to wave Nat down for something a little stronger than a beer when you saw her chatting it up with none other than Dr. Banner. You shake your head, your eyes moving back down the bar.

Your focus is caught by a brooding blonde. A literal God, named Thor. But its his neighbor that makes you freeze. Tony Stark never really had that effect on women (it was his money that enticed them not his looks) but the mere sight of him makes you gasp.

Your last conversation hadn’t been the most pleasant. You had refused a job at Stark Industries, believing you needed a clean break. He had pressed you to the point of pure anguish. The last thing you remember saying to him was something along the lines of, “You can’t ask me to stay to help you sort out whatever that is.” With a point at his head.

You quickly turn around, not wanting a repeat when he already had a glass of champagne in his hand. Sober Tony was obnoxious. Intoxicated Tony was a whole other level of big headedness.

You make your way through the party, ignoring the likes of anyone who looks remotely familiar. The few who had stayed loyal to the real S.H.I.E.L.D rather than turn in favor for HYDRA had come over, just like Tony asked you to. It was unclear who was worse to be trapped into a conversation with - someone who knew why you were no longer involved or those who didn’t.

You find your way up to a second floor hallway, one side looking out onto the party while the other faced the skyline. Uninterested in people watching (a reason that sounded much more mature than not wanting to be recognized) you face the large windows out onto the city.

You spin on your heel, your eyes traveling from the lights outside to inside when your eyes glaze over the very face of the Avengers.

But it isn’t Captain America’s face that caught your attention, rather the conversation his friend was spitting.

“Avenging is your world.” Sam Wilson, The Falcon, shakes his head into space, before turning to face the party just across the aisle. “Your world is crazy.”

It was your turn to shake your head, biting your lip in a weird resonation of his words. His next words, be it ever so humble, about the entire situation.

He was right. You know it, too. This world of fighting was hectic. Chaos. It really shouldn’t exist. But then you’d look out over some fancy party and it’s be easy to grasp. It wasn’t the alcohol or glamour, it was the aura that it had.

“You find a place in Brooklyn yet?”

The Super Soldier held back his own chuckle. “I don’t think I can afford a place in Brooklyn.”

It was hard to believe but easy to understand. It was an expensive burrow. Still, you found yourself laughing under your breathe.

Sam said something about home being home, which you also understood, but only between a laugh. Your breathy sound ends just as Tony’s favorite team member looked back at you.

The next thing out of your mouth was a gasp for air, followed quickly by a cough you tried to cover up. You face the window, trying your best to play it off. The sudden eye contact scares you. First it was the fear of being recognized. That outrageous thought was quickly thrown out.

The thing is, you hadn’t exactly...met him. It felt wrong to even think of him as Steve Rogers when you’d never been introduced. Anytime Nat mentioned him you couldn’t believe the first name basis they had. You weren’t starstruck - not by a lot. You’d spent time in labs with Iron Man and the Hulk. You grabbed coffee with Black Widow. Thor had given you a freaking birthday gift.

No super soldier named Captain America scared you.

Except the one sidling up next to you now.

“Hi, there.” He says, bending down to grab your attention.

And right then, after feeling immense anxiety and worry of coming face to face with anyone who worked for the thing you had left behind, you felt perfectly comfortable in front of their very leader.

You’d been listening to Tony too much, through Nat. Captain America was the elected leader. Tony just made everybody look good.

“Hi.” You say, bringing yourself out of your head.

His blue sparkled, a lopsided smile reaching his lips as his hand reaches out to you. “Have we met?”

“Almost.” You say automatically, the word being more of a thought you wanted to keep than share. You shake your head, correcting yourself. “No.”

“Steve.” He says after learning your name. You can tell the way he locks it away, his eyes slightly closed as if grabbing the word from your mouth and putting it in storage. “I’m sorry, were you almost put in ice too or did you see me through a subway door closing?”

You can’t help the smile on your face, his humor and charm exactly what you expected. “No.” A hand find your hair and you watches the way his eye tracked the small scar on your finger. It was from when you were five. You cut yourself with a knife, a knife you weren’t supposed to be holding. From that point on your swore you’d never hold a knife again if you didn’t know how to use it. You thought that meant culinary school. Not becoming a dagger throwing agent.

Your other hand traces the mark, that runs from the tip of your left pointer finger to the center of your knuckles.

“I used to be in a similar business.”

You watch Steve accept the answer, silently deciphering your words. To relieve him you continued, now having a better thought to go off of. “I save people. From themselves.”

“I’m a psychiatrist.” You conclude, wanting to put him out of his misery. You crack a smile, earning one from him. He bobs his head, looking out into the city, thinking. You could tell, again, facial cues. You did a lot of listening and watching now. A few years ago you would’ve thrown a blade to trap his shirt against a wall while another went to his throat to demand a response.

You sort of like watching him form his words.

A question, expertly designed, was on the tip of his tongue when a booming voice yells his name. Thor waved from below enthusiastically. You quickly turn, not wanting to start a conversation with the God of Thunder. He always seemed to get you into existential conversation. In the old English, and it being so late, you couldn’t handle it.

“Don’t leave him waiting or else he’ll send Mjollnir up here.” You say, already backing away.

Steve looks up at you, a playful smile hinted at his lips. But it didn’t reach the surface, curiosity and confusion at your sudden departure the priority.

You want to stay. But the thought of explaining...of answering...even the oh so amazing Captain America, has you wanting to run back to the elevator.

The only reason you exit the conversation rather than the entire building...is the slight beat of your heart and reddening of your cheeks at the idea of talking with him again. Unlike Thor, you could even get into all the existential stuff with him.

Exactly what the super soldier would deem too out of the box is on your mind when you run into the one person you don’t want to see. The host himself.

Tony takes you under his wing, literally, walking you around the party. Surprisingly enough, not once does he convince you to come back to work. He asks questions and wants to know all about you.

You oblige, enlightening him with tiny details. Your lack of confidence in the authenticity isn’t from lack of trust, but because you spend more time inquiring about him. Wordlessly, that is your psych perception takes over as you study him. You conclusion: he’s only asking about lowly you because he’s sitting high and dry. Which isn’t a new thing for Tony Stark, tech mogul and THE Iron Man. But something tells you his latest win isn’t one just shared with the public yet. Too good to be true, even to the optimist that is Tony.

He leaves you, letting you walk around for the rest of the party. Hours pass, partygoers dwindling both from the penthouse and your data set to people watch. Numbers low on who to analyze, you turn around in a circle, sure you couldn’t have taken in every person in attendance. A full 180 and you come face to face with the man with a target on your back.

He makes sure of your hunch, that he’s had it out for you, with the sly comment, “You ditch a Brooklyn boy for some Staten Islander?”

You look over your shoulder, playing along. “I was actually waiting for this guy from Manhattan to fetch me a drink.” You look back at him, his head titled in focus. You stumble for a moment, not used to the attention being on you. To the floor you say, “I don’t think city guys are good at service.”

“it’s a damn good thing you’re with a soldier.” He smiles, offering his arm as he steps beside you.

You hesitate, your knowledge on attraction and how one simple touch can lead to a million mistakes and miscommunications. You let your head take over your heart this time, walking ahead of him. “Last I checked, Captains don’t fetch anything for someone else.”

Accepting the (slight) rejection, Steve joins into step with you, his hands stuffing into his pockets. “You make me sound like Stark.”

“We all sound a little like him after too much time together.” You shrug. Catching Steve’s curious eye, clearly wondering how and when you worked with Tony, you saddle up behind the bar to distract yourself. “It’s called mirroring behavior. Say, I grab a beer you have a higher chance of doing the same just because of me.”

Steve smiles at you over the counter, watching as you open the bottle and take a swig. “But what if I just like beer?”

You roll your eyes, bringing the cider to your lips. “Or so you say.”

“You’re good at your job. Tony help you with that?”

You nearly choke on your drink. Why? It’s a toss up for the unexpected question or the tone of jealousy you think you detect in his voice. Upon looking at him you can’t see if your suspicion is correct. He’s casual, leaning an elbow on the table and gazing around the room without a care.

When his eyes find yours again you can’t help but trust him. You deem it the authority he has within his role, rather than something like the way he looks at you or how cute he is, before answering. “He wishes my career took me here. But after the collapse of S.H.I.E.L.D,” It’s Steve’s turn to look at you to ensure trust, your words an unspoken truth among so many secret keepers. “I found my way into a new line of work.”

You turn to your left, finding a spec on the marble to transfix on. When he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even chastise you for so openly talking about the failure of his former employer, you look up at him. Only for your eyes to track his, to none other than your hand.

You hadn’t even realized you were still holding the can opener. it was a wine/bottle mix and you had the corkscrew raised and the entire contraption being spun in your hand like....like a knife.

Mirroring. In a room of superheroes and fighters, you resort back to your own ways. You remind yourself this is exactly why you weren’t supposed to come when Steve speaks.

“Reading people?” He asks, genuine interest in his voice. You see his eyes barely flit back to your hand, forcing you to set the church key down, but ignore it, just like he is choosing to do. You nod. “Can you read them?”

You follow his finger, stifling a laugh when it lands on Nat and Bruce, clearly flirting just down the bar.

“Reading, not pointing.” You reprimand with sarcasm, quickly covering his hand. Heat travels up your elbow, your hand flying back to the cold corkscrew for comfort as you clear your throat. Steve’s eyes wanders away and for a second you think he felt it too when you shake your head. There are patients. No time to dilly dally.

After a moment you say,“From a psychiatric point of view, I’d say the male is exerting immense amount of dopamine, just getting by the stressors and paraysmpathic nervous system. Whereas the female’s self esteem is battling her body’s immediate release of cortisol.”

Steve looks up at you, his mouth hung open. As dryly as you can, you say, “He likes her and she likes him.”

It sparks a laugh from both of you, a long one that doesn’t end till he puts his hand over yours in an effort to stop. You let it rest, liking the feeling of the cold marble and his warm hand more than any old corkscrew.

“So how you going to diagnose them?” He asks, clearing his throat and suddenly removing his hand.

You tilt your head toward the pair - an assassin and a man who can’t control his killing - and take a second to think. That second is when Nat decides to leave, gliding past you effortlessly. As she walks by you say to Steve, more so to yourself, “It’s hard for people to hear the truth.”

Steve is looking over to Bruce when you tip your head back to him. You can see the question on the tip of his tongue and you want to stop him but he’s too quick.

Don’t play cupid, is the second most common thing you say to clients. Right after the ‘truth is hard to hear’ piece.

You can’t help but put your head in your hands when he outrightly says Bruce and Romanoff “is nice”. It’s a psychologists worst nightmare. Not the one you thought you’d see play out but it’s happening, so you can’t help but listen.

It’s the way Bruce stumbles in reply that sends you walking down the bar. You throw Steve nothing but a “watch yourself’ look before listening from your new spot.

You clink your nearly empty beer bottle on the counter when Bruce comes up with an excuse. It does more than you plan it too, as it grabs Steve’s attention and has him going for another one and making his way over to you. You can’t help but notice the way he smiles sincerely at his friend when announcing himself a leading authority in waiting too long. The statement makes you pause, but not long enough to miss Bruce asking about exactly how close Steve was to Nat’s flirting..

“Pointing works.” He says when he arrives in front of you, the unopened bottle extended (if not pointed) directly at you.

You accept, clinking off the cap with the opener still in your hand. “Yeah, yeah.”

He watches you take a sip, his eyes once again telling more than he thinks they do.

Your hand, once again holding the opener in the knife-life way is his next question. For once, you want to keep the conversation about work.

“My job is to listen. What you just did was talk.”

Steve mulls it over, taking the beer form your hand and tipping it back. He holds it out you, in offering. “OK. You talk. I’ll listen.”

You bite your lip. Knowing this could be bad. There’s a reason you listen. Talking...it’s like any pointy object for you. Someone always ends up stabbed.

Then again, how seriously injured could Captain America get? You already have one scar. A “Star Spangled Man with a Plan” shaped wound could be your next story.

A new blemish never arises. You don’t even feel so much as a pinch of pain. Talking to Steve, for hours, makes you feel about as painless as you been ever since you left the line of work.

Then again, your old career never makes an appearance in conversation. He did ask about your current career so that’s what you talk about. Psychology. Which leads to music. TV. His favorite food and how its Apple Pie. He doesn’t listen when you insist Pumpkin is better.

Your love of Chinese food is perfectly timed to the late night order, scoring you a seat and a plate at the after-party, so to speak.

That’s where you find yourself, on the couch with a small cluster of people. Most of which are the ones you had planned to ignore. Rhodey, Tony, Clint, Maria Hill, and Nat don’t as much as eye you suspiciously, thankfully. Besides, you mostly people watch, only talking when Steve wants some insight on whether or not Thor is really spiking his drink or giving him something watered down.

You share a look with Thor, encouraging the addition of it into Steve’s next beer, when Clint questions the God’s almighty hammer. You laugh when Clint looks at the thing bewildered at his inability in to lift it.

Steve joins you in softened laughter at Stark’s attempts. His head finds your shoulder when Rhodey and him quarrel about representing in their effort to pull the hammer off the table. But he refuses to make so much as a peep when Banner tries to “Hulk” it up, saying he doesn’t want to hurt the guy’s chances with Nat.

Before you can tell him Bruce could do no wrong in the red head’s eyes, it’s Steve’s turn. The way he rolls up his sleeves, making it clear he’s taking it seriously, has you silent. You can tell a lot by a person in the way they go about a challenge. it doesn’t surprise you at all, despite the short time you two have talked, that Steve goes for it.

It’s no shock at all that your attention switches to Thor. The look of panic, which you’re sure only you are watching, astounds you. Never once had the God been this nervous. But here he was, holding his tongue as Steve nudged the alien club up.

Steve comes back to you in defeat. You offer him a supportive pat on the back, having his eyes for all but a moment until everyone’s eyes land on you. Recognizing Nat just turned down the offer you shake your head. “Lift with your brain, not your weak bones.”

Steve gives you an impressed look, opening his mouth to call you out when Hill remarks the use of bad language.

“I had a feeling you’d be a stickler for that.” You theorize aloud.

Steve looks at you over his shoulder, raising a brow. “Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah.” You reiterate.

Thor proves you all wrong, effortlessly lifting his weapon of choice, declaring no one worthy.

The group laughter is cheerful and it warms your heart. Something about comfort between all of these people who live so dangerously, intrigues you. Your mouth opens to ask Steve how he’s come to trust them when a high pitched noise floods the space and has you covering your ears.

Your breath catches at the sight of a botched bot, standing in the shadows. Its robotic voice, oddly human, has you biting on your lip. It’s been a while since you’ve been faced with anything worse than a crying client.

Something tells you this won’t end in tissues and a hug.

Steve, who stood upon the unaccounted for noise, says Tony’s name with more frustration that you could ever imagine coming out of the man. You look up to him in surprise, only to look back at the way his hand is flexed in front of you. It’s a poor job at guarding you but something tells you that if he had his shield within reach he’d have grabbed it already.

The bot piques yours interest, his mumbled statements about his own sleep like unscnoius state making you nervous. The way he’s so...real...takes forefront over Tony’s own whispering. But even without your focus directly on him, something tells you he’s unsure. It’s never a good sign when the host is surpised.

You slowly stand as the intruder fumbles with himself. You’re studying him so discreetly you actually wave away Steve’s warning hand.

“You killed someone?”

“No he didn’t.” You murmur, only loud enough for Steve to hear. He gazes back at you for a moment and you shake your head, confirming your suspicion. The...thing in front of you is no real killer. Not yet.

When Tony’s voice rings out from the bot the tension rises in the room. You couldn’t cut it with a knife it’s so thick...which takes a lot for someone with the throwing capabilities of yourself.

You don’t mind it, knowing the pressing threat stands in front of you rather than beside. The wise words erupting from the in flesh Ultron has you racking your brain...about nothing less than the brain in front of you. Computers have never outsmarted you. Then again, it’s been a while since you’ve been around Tony.

His building - in tone and message- signals something much more violent is about to begin. No sane person builds a mountain of words not to stand on it later. Maria Hill cocks her gun as you take in your surroundings. You believe a chopstick to be your best option for a weapon, at least one you can throw, when the crash of walls begins the battle you were really hoping not to get into tonight.

It’s like Steve senses your lack of protection, taking it upon himself to upchuck the table for cover. Instinctively, you crowd down in front of the couch, just missing the hit that Steve takes with the attempted cover.

A big part of you wants to make sure he’s OK, scream his name and chase after him, but it’s not the time. People come to you to recover with your help. Steve isn’t one of those people.

So, you go into survival mode.

You army crawl across the room, watching every disappear from the main level. They’re smart enough to find cover and/or a weapon. You, out of practice and way out shape, head across the room...you know, to the empty space ensuring no safety.

Catching sight of Nat, now armed, you duck down knowing there has to be a gun stashed somewhere. It’s not your first weapon of choice, having never trusted a bullet as much as a blade but something is better than nothing.

And nothing is what you find.

You graze every table you can, certain it hasn’t been long enough for you to forget what a gun feels like, when spot Nat and Bruce flying up the stairs.

Sure Nat has already pleaded with the doctor not to turn green you avert your eyes to Stark, flailing on the back of a bot with what appears to be a fondue fork. You’d kill for a fondue fork right now.

What catches your eye instead is something much less picking. It’s perfect timing too as you spot Dr. Cho crowding behind the piano, face to face with a waist up robot, hand glimmering and all.

In a split second your hand grasps around the candlestick and you toss it through the air. Despite the noise you hear its whistle and while it’s really not the time, you relish the sound that you missed so much.

It hits the neck, chopping off its head just as Steve clambers on top of it, chucking git to Thor to smash, to ensure it’s no chicken working with its head cut off.

A shield wizzes past your head, slicing another member of Ultron’s army seconds later.

Its lonely leader speaks next, chilling the charged air.

Before you know it you’re flinging the other candlestick (it is a set) at Ultron, stabbing his arm. It earns the tines looks of him before a dry chuckle. You don’t take your eyes off of him despite the stare you know you’re getting.

His next words are directed at you. “You just didn’t think it through.” His knowledge of what feels like the entire world makes you believe that while his idenity is still a mystery, yours is not to him.

Your presumption is all but proved when his crumbled form sings the infamous Pinocchio song. Not once was it sung at the party. Everything his at his finger tips. Yourself included.

The blue of his eyes fade but he surely doesn’t leave the room. Tony sighs, clutching himself on the stairs. Thor breathes heavily hwile Nat looks worridely at Bruce, who appears on the edge of vomitting up all the food he didn’t eat a the party. Cho looks terrfiied. Hill and Rhodey on the lower level.

That leaves Steve. Watching you.

In four steps he’s at your side, his hands on your arms as he checks you out. Not like that. You remind, tell, yourself its not like that as you meet his eyes.

“Im’ fine.”

"That’s not what I was going to say.”

“Guess you’re better at reading people then.” Humor has always been your go-to. There’s not anything much heavier than blood and blades. The least you could do is quip something light.

Steve steps forward, his voice dropping just for you to hear. “I was going to say you’re a damn good throw.”

The End

[imaginesofharrypotter]

Asgardian ale

Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: Thor brought some Asgardian booze to the party. Surely, nothing can go wrong.

Warnings: a little bit of angst I guess, but mostly fluffy Bucky

Last night, it was one of Tony Stark's notorious parties but only including the Avengers. Everyone was dragged there as it was mandatory, "team-building fun" as Tony liked to put it. Surprisingly enough Thor showed up and brought something with him that made the party all the more exciting: Asgardian ale.

You see, the two super soldiers were so enhanced that they could never get drunk and let loose, with human alcohol that is. It was truly a sight to behold. Pre-serum Steve had so many ill conditions that alcohol was off-limit and boy, did he enjoy the calm feeling of the booze. The always polite Captain America ran around the tower shouting nonsense, swearing while he tried to lift Thor's hammer and cutely but miserably flirting with Natasha (but given the unlikely situation, it made the assassin blush nonetheless)

You were laughing your ass off on the couch with Wanda when two strong arms draped around your shoulder making you look up.

"Hi Soldier" - you greeted your boyfriend who had an adorable cheeky grin on his face

"Hi, Beautiful" - he planted a sloppy kiss on your mouth that made all eyes wander from Steve towards the two of you

You see, Bucky never was a fan of PDA, rarely showing affection when the others were around. That was fine with you, you understood that he was a private person, and it made his love for you even more precious, knowing he would make it up when in your shared room alone. He was a big, sentimental, clingy, and handsy person and you wouldn't have it any other way. It was so sweet that you were the only one seeing this affectionate side of him... Up until last night.

"I miss youuuu" he purred in your ear, tone slightly slurred by the alcohol

"But I'm right here, Buck" - you cocked an eyebrow and smiled sweetly at him

"I miss your warmth" - he cornered the couch and sat down next to you, instantly wrapping his arms around you in a side hug, nuzzling your neck.

"Better?" - you asked in a whisper as you started stroking his hair, just the way he likes it

"Soooo much" - he purred again, closing his eyes and inhaling your scent - "You smell so gooood"

You chuckled lightly and yelped as you felt yourself being lifted. You landed on Bucky's lap, him pulling you flesh to him and tightly wrapping his arms around you, resting his head on one of your shoulders. You laid back and let yourself relax in your boyfriend's embrace, closing your eyes, and feeling utterly content. That is until a flash went off.

"Hey" - you exclaimed as you saw Sam holding his phone and showing the photo that he just took to everyone

"Oh, calm down Snowflake, it's not every day that we get to see Mr. Grumpy so kind and calm." - he shrugged his shoulders

"At least send it to me then." - you asked him, already knowing what your new phone wallpaper will be

You lightly turned your head to see Bucky's reaction, only to find him still in the same position, contently sitting with closed eyes and a little smile plastered on his face.

The rest of the night mostly contained talking and laughing as everyone gathered around you. During the late hours, slowly, everyone went back to their rooms. You haven't failed to see Steve following Nat out and to her room. You smiled to yourself then you tried to think about a way to get you and Bucky into a comfortable position to sleep. You assumed that he had fallen asleep a long time ago as he never said a word all night, nor did he move after snuggling up with you. You slowly loosened his arms around you.

"Wanna go to sleep, doll?" - he asked and you jumped a little bit on his lap - "Sorry to startle you" - he chuckled lightly and hugged you tightly again

"It's okay, I just thought you were asleep" - you turned halfway and smiled down lovingly at him

"Nope" - he popped the p in it - "Was just too comfortable to move or say anything" - Bucky smiled goofily up at you while your heart melted

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself" - you caressed one of his cheeks, basking in the feeling as he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch - "Are you feeling sleepy yet?"

"I could sleep" - he mumbled tiredly while picking you up bridal style and carrying you to your shared bedroom

He put you on the floor and kissed you sweetly. It was a gentle and loved filled kiss, not hungry, nor rushing, just full of passion. He pulled away and undressed you slowly, trailing little wet kisses on your skin as he exposed it. After you were only standing in your panties he walked to the closet, picked out one of his T-shirts, and pulled it over you. Bucky loved it when you wore his clothes, it was a sense of pride that you were his and his alone. You started to undress him too, focusing on his clothing but you knew his gaze never left you as he followed your every movement with an expression filled with adoration. You pulled out a drawer and picked out a fresh boxer for him and panties for you. You both changed and got under the covers, Bucky instantly nuzzling your stomach and wrapping his arms around you the best he could. You reflexively started to card your fingers through his luscious brown locks and felt him hum against your skin while planting a soft kiss on it.

"I love it so much when you are this affectionate" - you laid your head on the soft pillow

"I can't help it, you are so soft and warm, the best feeling ever" - he mumbled softly and you heard his breath even out

"Sweet dreams, my love" - you kissed the crown of his head gently and drifted to sleep yourself

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A loud crash woke you up from your slumber. You turned around, wanting nothing more than to nuzzle into your boyfriend's warm body, but you found his spot empty and cold.

You yawned and walked to the kitchen to get some breakfast for yourself. Steve was already there, making coffee for himself, his back to you.

"Well, well, I didn't know purple was on the new Captain America color palette" - you commented with an obvious smirk as you saw the not so little love bites around his neck"

"Thor should definitely not bring that ale on a party again" - he laughed nervously while turning around and sipping his coffee

"Ohhh, on the contrary, Stevie. I will personally ask him to do so if it makes you finally admit your feelings" - your smiled turned more soft - "How much do you remember?"

"Everything" - he face-palmed himself - "The strength of the alcohol was enough to set me loose but not enough to make me forget things or even to have a hangover"

With that, you took out your phone to check social media. The first pic that came up nearly made you drop the device. Before you could ask Steve about it, Sam came running into the room, screaming, while a very angry looking Bucky followed him with heavy steps.

"Take it down" - your boyfriend demanded with a growl, the authority in his voice making your legs week

"No way man, where is the fun in it, there are already thousands of view on it" - Sam retorted while trying to hide behind you, knowing Bucky would never hurt you

"Oh, no, you are not getting me into this" - you stepped away, but towards your love - "Sweatheart, what got you this mad?"

"Oh, why not ask Birdie here?" - he still threw daggers with his eyes towards Sam

You thought about the post with the caption "The big bad Winter Soldier is actually a big softie #BuckyBear" that Wilson made and uploaded.

"Is this about the picture from last night? Do you not like it?" - you asked softly

"Of course I do, you are on it" - he smiled lovingly at you, his voice softened - "But other people aren't supposed to see and like it" - he mumbled and pouted like an adorable child

"Oh, honey, but we look so good. We've been together for almost two years, it's only natural that we love being affectionate towards each other" - you put your hands on his cheeks, lightly caressing them

"So it wouldn't bother you if I hold your hand or kiss you in front of others?" - he asked shyly, avoiding eye contact

"Of course not. I would really love that. But I respect your choice of privacy if it's not okay with you." - you reassured him

He didn't answer verbally, just bent down and captured your lips in a passionate, deep kiss.

"Ewww, get a room" - Sam exclaimed loudly, making you break the kiss

"You cooked yourself a meal, now you're gonna eat it" - and with that, you went back kissing Bucky

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From that moment on, Bucky always kept an arm around you and was never afraid to show his love for you. It turned out that he was a real sucker for PDA, knowing you loved his attention. You were also able to finally shower him with love anytime you wanted, to cuddle up to him and relax, and to go to long walks, holding hands. You two were never overdoing it though, but the team never minded it anyway. Everyone knew how happy and calm moments are so rare in the field of work you were doing, they were truly happy for you. Maybe Sam not so much, especially when Bucky randomly grabbed you and kissed you deeply whenever he walked in, pissing him off and reminding him that he never should invade your privacy again. Oh, and Bucky never admitted it, but he actually was grateful for Sam to take the photo that now served as his wallpaper too.

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Author's note: I have a bunch of ideas of Bucky, so most probably I'm gonna post about him for a while. But also really wanna write something sweet for Tj Hammond. What are your thoughts? Have a lovely day ^^

[quarantined-with-bucky]

American Boy

Bucky x Reader

Request: So basically buckyxreader where she is a super successful businesswomen and awfully confident but when she’s with bucky she feels insecure as many women want him and she’s insecure of nat. Based on “American Boy” by little mix where bucky is her american boy and the other girl in the song is nat. So like angst with a happy ending (maybe smut if you’re comfortable idk idk).

Words: ~ 9,700

Summary: Dating Bucky can be challenging sometimes -- all the time.

Warnings: Smut, angst

A/N: Sorry this took me so long :( I recently started work so its been hard to write -- but I’m really happy with how this one turned out!! Thank you so much for the request!

And I met him back when I was out in California He was playing in a band and she was dancing on a stage And he says that I'm the one but she's the one that got away And he never knew her real name

Nothing about tonight sounded mildly comfortable. It was going to be six hours in a too cold banquette hall, standing all night in too tall heels, a too tight dress, with your hair scraped back into a too painful bun. From the moment you stepped inside, the flesh on your arms and décolleté erupting into goosebumps – nothing a little alcohol can’t fix, you thought to yourself, snagging a glass of champagne off of the tray from the first waiter you saw.

“Y/N,” Tony called, opening his arms to greet you. His suit was perfectly pressed, a three-piece suit that cost more than twice your monthly rent. You walked up to him, giving him a side hug, checking yourself out in the reflection of his iconic red glasses. “See, I knew you’d come.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, remembering how for the past week you’d declined his numerous invitations to his party. “I hope you know that I’m charging you overtime for this.”

“I’d expect nothing less.” He ushers you away while he continues mingling with his other guests.

Never in a million years had you thought you’d be an A-list guest at one of Tony Stark’s infamous parties. But, as fate would have it, you and Tony had been working together quite a bit in the recent years. What began as a little start-up from your college dorm room, quickly grew into a multinational billion-dollar company. Stark industries contracted your company out to spearhead multiple new projects – including the development of high-tech equipment for the Avengers. You had many ventures, sectors growing from technological advancement, to biometrics, to teams specializing in law, advertising, and operations.

The past few years had been a whirlwind for you. Moving to New York, managing your ever-growing company – up until now your life had been all work and no play. Once you met Tony, you knew that your world would flip upside down. You’d been in Forbes 30-Under-30 list for three years straight. Your life had grown into nothing but interviews, business deals, and fame – and you loved it. You felt like you were on top of the world at this moment in your life; nothing was going to stop your forward momentum from climbing up the ladder.

“Hey,” a smooth voice pulled you out of your fog, a figure popping up next to you.

“Hey, Steve,” you responded, smiling up at the blond man.

“You having a good night?” You’d met Steve a handful of times before through Tony, working with him a few times in the past. You don’t know if you could outright call him your close friend, but Steve was always so kind.

You could should be using tonight as a networking opportunity, but after an extremely stressful week at work, all you wanted to do was crawl into a bubble bath and relax. You couldn’t do that, so you thought you’d at least try to let loose and take it easy tonight, hoping to catch up with friends and enjoy some time partying. “I guess,” you shrugged, taking another sip of champagne.

“That makes two of us,” he replied, taking an equally long sip of his drink. “It’s hard to lay low at Tony’s parties, y’know?”

“Its hard to lay low when you’re Captain America,” you joked, nudging his arm with your elbow. He rolled his eyes again, running a hand through his short blond hair.

Your eyes scanned over the crowd, trying to find something worthwhile to talk to Steve about: maybe about the couples dancing in the center of the room, the large crowd gathered at the bar, the performers that laced their way through the influx of people. Your gaze fell upon a smaller group of people gathered around a table, laughing, telling stories and interrupting each other with more tall tales. You only recognized a couple people in the group; Sam Wilson: tall, well-built, perhaps a little tipsy, chirping away with his witty comments; Natasha Romanoff: a goddess, quiet, watching, observing, black dress so tight on her beautiful figure it looked like it was painted on; Bucky Barnes: the epitome of tall dark and handsome, at the forefront of the conversation, laughing and cussing telling his sensational war story, dark tendrils of hair hanging loosely in front of his face, obstructing the view of his blue eyes.

“Have you met Bucky?” Steve asked, interrupting your thoughts. You shook your head ‘no,’ unable to tear your eyes away from him. His black suit was complemented quite nicely with a fitted black shirt, the top buttons undone, his tanned muscle peaking out. He ran his metallic hand through his long hair – you finally were able to see his eyes, the only color on him, so bright compared to their dark surroundings. And they were looking at you.

Tearing your eyes away from him, you turned your head up to Steve. He was watching Bucky, watching him looking at you; Steve’s head turned between the two of you, almost unable to stop the smile from pulling at his lips. Steve pulled you into the group, making space for you to stand between him and Bucky. As introductions were passed around the group, you felt eyes on you. This time, the set of green eyes.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Natasha give you the up and down a few times. Your first reaction was that it wasn’t in a bad or necessarily judgmental way; she was interested in who the outsider was. She was protective, it was instinctual; she would observe said outsider, finding all of her flaws, quirks, secrets, until she was certain she wasn’t a threat. When you were introduced to her, she politely flashed you a smile with her infamous painted red lips and shook your hand.

“(Y/N), this is Bucky,” Steve finished, watching eagerly as the two of you shook hands and exchanged smiles.

“(Y/N),” Bucky whispered, your name tasting sweet on his lips; he tipped his head ever so slightly towards you in greeting.

“Nice to meet you, Bucky.”

Everybody took the hint – that hint being Steve wiggling his eyebrows at everyone – and the group dispersed. You waved goodbye to the like, politely offering goodbyes to everyone. In your peripheral vison, you watched as the red head gave you one final up-and-down, crossing her arms over her busty chest, flitting her eyes to Bucky’s before she strutted off.

…

You hit it off with Bucky instantly, spending the night discussing everything from your future prospects to your relationship status to your past (specifically, your past). He was completely enamored by you. He was obsessed with the fact that people looked up to you; you demanded respect – so much so, in fact, that your success intimidated them; you were unapproachable to those who didn’t have their shit together. After that night, he knew he had to see you again.

And you could not feel more the same way.

It started fairly privately. Despite your constant media attention – being the CEO of a Fortune 500 company had that effect – being Tony Stark’s business partner escalated that. Usually on your commute to and from work, whether that be your corporate office or the Avenger’s tower, there would be a few paparazzi and a couple reporters following you around. They wanted information on you, your ventures, but most importantly: Tony Stark. When you were contracted to work with Stark Industries, you knew this was a possibility – in fact, it was the number one con on your pros & cons list. While you did think it was a decent opportunity for exposure, it surely came back to bite you in the ass.

You didn’t anticipate meeting Bucky Barnes – you surely didn’t anticipate dating him, either. You couldn’t be happier with Bucky; you wouldn’t let the incessant paparazzi and media attention get to you. Surely, you’d figured that dating an actual Avenger would draw some attention to yourself. However, you couldn’t have predicted the magnitude it would have on your daily life. The amount cameramen and reporters that followed you on a daily basis more than doubled.

Now, you’d never considered yourself shy, especially not camera shy – hell, all you were doing was walking from your car to and from different buildings – you could surely handle getting your picture taken. You had to admit, you were put together (and damn hot). You wore tailored suits, the tall heels; your hair and makeup were done perfectly every day.          

It’s not like you hadn’t been on the cover of magazines before; but they were articles, studies, biographies. You posed for the cover of Forbes and Wall Street Journal and Harvard Business Review. Gracing the cover of tabloid magazines, however, was new territory for you. They talked about your style, your makeup, you clothes, your hair – nothing was too surface level for them to delve into. At first, that’s all it was. Noting and pricing your style, People magazine printing a “Who is She?” issue.

Then the comparisons started.

It was a side-by-side of you and Natasha – Black Widow. How could you compete with her?

You were sitting in bed one morning, up early before dawn, checking your phone before you started your morning routine. It was supposed to be like any other Thursday: work, meetings, executive board reviews: productive. But after reading that article, your heart deflated; today would only truly be over once you get to crawl back into your bed at the end of the day and sulk under the covers.

You slowly let out a long breath as you scrolled quickly through the article. “(Y/N) Becomes Black Widow’s Replacement: Is She Good Enough or Will She Get Tangled in the Web?” leave it to Daily Mail to start off with a shitty pun to ruin your mood.

The first picture was a full body shot of you laid next to a similar image of Natasha. She was shorter, sure – but curvier. She had more muscle, obviously – and those legs. Even you wanted to be strangled to death by her thighs. (And you felt like dying at that moment, that’s for sure). Maybe she just wore tighter clothes? You did, in fact, wear well-tailored clothes – you were actually very fashion forward for the business world, taking Fall 2020 by storm. She just got the chance to wear tighter clothes more often.

The second photo was an extremely flattering behind shot. The photographer might as well have taken the camera and pointed it right up your skirt. You’d heard the tabloids comparing the asses of other famous women, surely even the English Royalty had headlines circulating about it. You actually thought you had a good ass – you do – but hers was better. Black fucking Widow and you were supposed to somehow compete?

The last shot was a close up of your faces. You had to admit, they probably could’ve picked a worse picture of you. You weren’t smiling, you weren’t frowning – it was neutral. Your brows maybe slightly narrowed. Natasha, on the other hand, was glaring at the paparazzi. They gave her space, as if they took one step too close, she would murder them (and although she was actually extremely kind to you, they were probably right in that case). Her glare exuded confidence, intimidation. That was the difference between your auras: while your success may have been intimidating to others, it was her essential being that was intimidating – she could kill you just by looking at you.

While some people may not appreciate that fact, the pure daunting atmosphere that surrounded her, there was one person that did: James Buchanan Barnes.

He, himself, had the same ambiance, after all: that is being the don’t fuck with me stare.

Oh, and I don't mean to get so caught up And insecure 'bout all the things you say Oh, and I don't mean to be jealous, it's just careless me Boy, I must drive you mad

“Hey, Bucky,” you greeted, swinging open your front door, pressing a chaste kiss to the lips of the man before you.

He hummed against your lips, caught off guard as you pulled away sooner than expected. “Hey, baby,” he responded, shrugging it off stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. “It smells great,” he noted regarding the pasta sauce simmering on the stove. He dipped a metallic pinky finger in the sauce, cheekily smiling at you as he licked his makeshift tasting-spoon. “Tastes great – no surprise.”

You couldn’t help but return his smile, trying to shake off the bad day you’d had, instead turning all focus to your giggle boyfriend before you. He takes two steps forward, engulfing you in his strong arms, rubbing his flesh hand up and down your back in a soothing motion. You rested your cheek against his chest, taking a deep breath in; his earthy scent calmed you down, the heat radiating off of him offering you to a level of relaxation you didn’t know was possible. “Did you have a bad day, baby?” He cooed quietly, pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear.

“Yeah,” you breathed, nodding into his chest. “Bad. And busy. And annoying.”

“Annoying?” He repeated, testing the word on his tongue, but not questioning further. “Come on, why don’t we eat because I’m hungry – and I know you’re hungry – and get you to relax.” You smile up at him, giving him a proper kiss this time, unsure if he was just saying that to get dinner going, or if his supersoldier senses could actually tell that you were hungry (because you were).

Dinner went smoothly. It was quiet, moreso than usual. But it was nice. It was calm: a good change of pace from both of your busy schedules. It was tranquil: spending the evening exchanging loving glances and touches across the table, playing footstie under the table, Bucky quite literally licking pasta sauce off your cheek.

As he finished up his third serving (to which you just sip your wine while he gets his fill), you can’t help but break the silence and light conversation with a loaded question: “What’s with you and Natasha?”

You didn’t mean for the question to come out so abrupt or harsh, but it had been eating at your mind all day. You’d found yourself looking at that article during every five-minute break you got. Comparing hair, clothes, smiles, eyes, teeth – everything.

“What’s with us?” He repeated, eyebrows cocked in misunderstanding, palms raised in confusion. He didn’t understand the question.

You sighed heavily, dropping your eyes to the near empty wine glass before you. “I don’t know,” you grumbled, running your hands over your forehead, dropping them behind your head, pulling your hair a bit. “I’ve been seeing these articles about her – about her and me,” you clarified, trailing off, hoping he’d understand the picture. As he remained silent, you sat back against your chair, slouching. “Did you guys date or something?” You immediately bit the inside of your cheek. The question burned coming off your tongue.

His chuckle almost startled you out of your fog; your stomach dropped as you felt knots pull at all your insides. “Babe.” He reaches across the table with open palms, waiting for you to place your hands in his. You hesitated, but eventually complied, his soft smile and kind eyes giving you no other choice. “No. We never had – or did – anything. Never. I promise.”

Okay, well that made you feel better. You let out a breathy sigh (this time of relief) as you gave his hands a gentle squeeze. “Okay,” you repeated. “Okay.” It made you feel a little better, sure, but then why?

He raised his eyebrows once again. “You don’t believe me?”

“No – no, no, no – ” you replied quickly, reaching farther across the table, fingertips grazing his forearms. “I’m just confused. I keep seeing articles comparing me and her,” you stated very slowly, unsure of the right words, unsure of what his innate reaction would be.

“We have a… past,” he responded, slowly; it was calculated.

But in that moment, he knew he miscalculated. “A past?”

No, not like that, he thought. But like what, exactly? How was he supposed to explain it? God, his own life was complicated enough to explain – he hadn’t dared to divulge that deep, in fear of ruining your newly blossoming relationship. He owed you some sort of explanation, though, right? But he was at a loss for words at the worst time possible. “It just goes back to… a long time ago… with… well… ” With no words left to complete his fragment of a sentence, he raised his left hand and wiggled his metallic fingers.

Your lips formed an “oh” shape as you said the same word mentally. Oh, no shit, more like. The Russian spy and the Winter Soldier had intertwined pasts. You felt like an idiot – like the answer was laying right there before you, your eyes glazing right over it. “Bucky, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry but – ”

He cut you off immediately, taking one of your hands into both of his. He looked you straight in the eyes, his own blue irises staring deep into yours. “Don’t apologize, please.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t want that part of my life taking over my life now. You’re not prying – I need to be open with you about it.” You nodded slowly. “I want you to be apart of my life, (Y/N),” he clarified, nearly smiling at you missing the implication of his previous sentence.

You grinned, a goofy wine-infused smile. You leaned across the table, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips.

That night, he began telling you about his past; nothing he wasn’t comfortable with discussing was mentioned. You didn’t push him, didn’t ask questions, didn’t offer opinion or advice. The only thing you offered was solace, comfort, and hot tea. You held him in bed, ran your fingers through his hair, rubbed small circles on his muscled back.

He told you about how he trained her, how their connected past drew scrutiny to them in the media. How their ties to Russia, Hydra, and a few not-so politically correct incidents in the past tied them closer together both in eyes of the tabloids and, subsequently, to each other.

You had no questions, no comments. There was nothing for you to say. You weren’t questioning the validity of his past and you didn’t question the fact that he and Natasha were just friends. You were confident in Bucky, confident that he was telling the truth – confident in your relationship.

The two of you fell asleep that night wiping tears off each other’s cheeks; but neither of you had felt more safe – more in love – than at that moment in your lives.

…

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you,” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, eyes narrowing down at you – at your figure.

You were turned away from him, trying to busy yourself, acting as though bringing it up again was casual, like it was just a normal question on par with how was your day? It, in fact, was extremely loaded; there couldn’t be more of a loaded question, in Bucky’s opinion (in your own opinion, too). But, dammit, you needed validation – wasn’t that okay?

It was okay.

It was always okay. Bucky understood that. Even he, himself, needed validation in a similar way. However, there were two distinct differences about what he needed vs. what you needed.

1. He never needed validation against someone else.

Bucky was insecure – the fact of the matter was every single person in the world had insecurities, from the brightest minds to the most beautiful models; there isn’t a single person who isn’t immune to outside pressure, societal expectations, internal comparisons. Sometimes Bucky would be insecure of his arm, oftentimes he’d be insecure about his past. He’d wonder about his hair, he’d read articles about himself, comments people posted online. Bucky had a certain confidence about himself, sure. He was intimidating (that was both a good and a bad thing).

But you. You were intimidating, too – you were, in Bucky’s eyes – the baddest bitch; you controlled the business world, dominate magazine headlines, demanded the attention of every man in the room. He loved it. He loved the fact that you were all that and more, and that he got to come home to you. He got to hold you in his arms at night. He got to make love to you.

That’s why he didn’t understand your – what he determined to be – obsession with her. All the time asking him about her. Were you as good as her? Were you better than her? He understood, at first. Natasha was very intimidating – to anyone, even her own team. He didn’t mind showing you extra attention, sprinkling you with more compliments, lovingly laying his hands on the places you didn’t like about yourself. He loved you; he loved complimenting you. Nothing he ever said was a lie, so he had no problem saying them.

But as time went on, you kept asking. About. Her.

2. He believed you when you validated him.

Not only were you asking about Natasha, constantly comparing yourself to her – your body, your brains, your face, even your hair. Again, he had no problem telling you how beautiful you were; it was a service to you that he would trade anything in the world for. He loved to say that to you; complimenting your intelligence, looks, attitude – all of it.

Maybe he wasn’t complimenting you enough anymore? Even so, you had to know the way he felt about you? He tried really hard to validate it as his own fault. Like it was something he had done to cause you to suddenly be so insecure. But all it took was one walk down the bustling street-stands on the New York City’s streets for him to realize. You, after all, had graced the cover of every magazine as of lately. You and Natasha.

He wasn’t so hard on you or himself after that little piece clicked in his head.

But at the end of the day, he couldn’t stop himself from wondering if you never believed him. Did you trust him? Did you love him? Those questions ran through his head at night – as much as he hated it, he couldn’t stop it.

“It’s not how many times, Bucky! It’s – it’s – ” You tripped over your own words.

“What is it, then, (Y/N)? Because I sure as hell can’t figure it out.” In fact, you didn’t know what it was. You couldn’t pinpoint it. You couldn’t put the words together.

You turned around, crossing your arms across your chest, mirroring him. You just stared back it him, biting your lip. There wasn’t anything you could say; just offered him a shrug.

“(Y/N), come on,” he began. “You can’t seriously believe the shit they say.” He was referring to the incessant media coverage. The eyes on you – 24/7 cameras. It eats away at you; it was all you could think about. “You’re too smart for them. What’s this all about, then?”

If there was anyone who could see right through you, it was him. But if there was one thing he needed to know about you, it was that you had too much pride to admit any sort of insecurity to anyone – even your boyfriend of now eight months.

It was in that moment that you wondered if he took a short tone with her the way he had been with you lately. Did she have to ask him such endless questions? Definitely not. She had nothing to worry about. She didn’t care.

That was the difference between the two of you.

You couldn’t do anything but care.

Singing, singing, singing Ooh la la, he breaks my heart I know he thinks about her when he plays guitar And ooh la la, my American boy

You and Bucky sat on the couch, the movie playing in front you now long forgotten. The past few weeks have been stressful for the both of you. You were both dealing with a lot at work; you with new projects and development issues, Bucky with compiling intel that seemly led nowhere. Last night, you’d attended another one of Tony’s parties with Bucky. You thought it was going to be a fun night, seeing all your old friends, catching up with everyone you hadn’t seen in so long. What was supposed to be a casual night of fun drinking and dancing, turned sour very quickly.

It was nice in the beginning, catching up with Sam and Steve; that is, until you caught a glimpse of Bucky from the corner of your eye. He was just meant to get a refill of drinks. All he had to do was weave through the crowd, make it to the bar, and return with the drinks. You felt that it shouldn’t have taken him that long. Maybe you should’ve offered to get them instead.

There he stood, leaning against the bar, a handful of cold drinks sitting in front of him on the tabletop. You watched as he ignored the cups the bartender placed down in front of him a few minutes ago; watched as a drop of precipitation slid down the side of the cold glass, pooling with all the others at the granite bar top.

Beside him, a tall blonde mimicked his movements, leaning against the counter. She spoke to him in a hushed tone, gazing up at him under her long eyelashes. Her perfectly manicured hands grazed up and down his arm, undoubtedly innocently asking about the strong metal underneath his shirt sleeve. You rolled your eyes, nearly scoffing at her fairly blatant attempt at flirting.

You wouldn’t be so pissed off, usually. She was beautiful, sure, but you were confident in your relationship with Bucky. You knew how he felt about you and he knew how strong your feelings were for him. There was no doubt on either end – so why shouldn’t he be able to have a conversation with some woman at a party? He had just grown comfortable enough to talk about his metal arm, finally accepting the gift that the great King T’Challa had gifted him.

So why did this interaction piss you off so much?

Because you knew that if a man had come up to you to chat so innocently with you, he’d be on him in less than one second. And if a man had come up to you to chat while also running his hand up your arm or down your back, Bucky would ensure that man would be leaving this party with nothing but then broken fingers.

But your pride took the best of you, as usual. You rolled your eyes to yourself, carrying on your conversation with Sam and Steve, trying your best not to look over Sam’s shoulder too much, staring past him and at Bucky. You held your empty cup in your hand, almost now more pissed that your new drink was sitting lonely at the bar, when you needed alcohol more than ever in this moment.

All you wanted was to go up there, rip her hand off your boyfriend, and get your damn drink. Instead, you held your tongue all night. When Bucky returned with your drink, you thanked him and took it, gulping it down fairly quickly. When his hand rested on your waist, you simply gave yourself a twist, shrugging his hand off of you. You felt him give you a questioning look, but you simply pretended not to notice, instead keeping your eyes locked on Sam’s as he told his story about what ever he was talking about (you weren’t really paying attention); just smiling and nodding and looking as engaged as possible.

When you and Bucky got home that night, you quickly showered and crawled into bed. Bucky had been trying to talk to you on the car ride home, all night while you got ready for bed. Finally giving you your peace to shower, he decided to try again once he slipped into bed beside him. “What’s going on, (Y/N),” he whispered, turning towards you; but he was met with the sight of your back turned to him.

“Nothing,” you replied, face smooshed int the pillow. “’M just tired.”

His hand found your side, rubbing over your hip bone slightly, as he moved closer to you in bed. His chest pressed up against your back, his breath tickling the back of your neck. “Is that all, baby?” He kept pressing. “Let me make you feel better,” he murmured, pressing his lips to your neck, burying his face in your shoulder.

“No, Buck, stop.” You shrugged him off and lifted your shoulders in protest, pushing his head away. “I’m not in the mood – I just want to go to sleep.”

“Sorry, (Y/N),” he whispered, settling back down in the bed.

You tried to fall asleep that night, you really were tired – exhausted, in fact. But you just couldn’t calm your racing mind enough to fall asleep. You knew Bucky knew it, too. You suspected that he didn’t get much sleep either.

When you finally did get a few hours of rest, you woke up to a note left by Bucky.

Went for an early workout with Steve. Feel better, I’ll call you later.

You gave yourself a whole self-care day. Bath, face mask, manicure – the whole nine yards. You willed yourself to think of anything except Bucky and that girl – Bucky and any girl.

Every girl in the world had eyes for Bucky – why wouldn’t they? He’s absolutely gorgeous: tall, handsome, he’s got the mysterious vibe going on – basically every woman’s walking wet dream. You always gave him the benefit of the doubt when it came to women flirting with him. He was from a different time; he was just being polite. That’s what you told yourself, at least. The more Steve told you stories about him being a charmer – how he always “wooed” women back in the day – the more unsettled you became. Maybe he missed being a flirt, afterall, as he recovered, he slipped back into his old ways, whether that be an old Brooklyn accent, or his charming smile.

But how many times could you just brush it off? Blatantly flirting in front of you – sure it may have been an innocent conversation or an innocent arm touch (you know that’s how he would sell it to you) but hell, he lived in a different time now. So, he just had to get used to the fact that he had to stop letting these girls flirt with him. Was it really so hard to tell them he had a girlfriend?

Unless he thought about it and didn’t want to. He was so touch starved for the past seventy-plus years that who knows? Maybe he did enjoy all the attention – especially all the female attention. Considering the fact he was such a ladies man, maybe this is exactly what he wanted to feel like himself again, winning over all the women. And, god, all the tall women with their perfect faces and gorgeous chests, showing off more skin than they covered. They had the confidence of models, the ferociousness of catwoman – not to mention Black Widow; she was her own breed of gold-like-women.

He didn’t call you until the next day.

That’s how you ended up on your sofa, innocently watching a movie, two boxes of pizza abandoned on your coffee table. Neither of you brought up the night of Tony’s party; instead, you two sought solace in each other’s arms on the plush couch between piles of pillows.

You two ended up making out, his hands wrapping around your waist and up your back, yours winding their way through locks of his long hair. He leaned over you, your back meeting the sofa top and his chest pressing to yours. His pelvis touched yours, grinding lazily against yours. A mess of legs entangled with each other at the opposite end of the couch. His hand slid down your side, squeezing between your bodies to unbutton your jeans, his fingers slipping underneath your panties.

He groaned once his finger slipped between your slit, moaning at the wetness he found there. He pulled his hands up and shimmied your pants off, his own jeans following suit. He didn’t bother even taking them off all the way, instead latching himself on you with his pants and underwear pooling at his ankles.

His hands grabbed your hips, roughly pushing into you while his lips attached themselves to your neck. You gasped, the sudden entry startling to you. Your arms encased his torso, nails digging into his back as he roughly fucked you into the mattress. You hips met his as you tried to rock against him to meet his thrusts. His hands pinned your hips down, jackhammering you into the couch.

You were panting and moaning and screaming. You couldn’t help the noises that were coming out of your mouth. You and Bucky had tried some pretty not-vanilla stuff in the past, and sure, sex was maybe one of the best ways to get your anger out. But Bucky hadn’t ever been this nonattentive to you before. Or this quiet. Usually you couldn’t get him to shut up – between the dirty talk and the praise, you could never get him to shut up; and he loved it. He knew his whispers and all his egging-you on only flustered you more. That was the sex you loved.

This was different. He didn’t say anything; he just grunting to himself as he pounded into you, hips snapping into yours. God, you were going to be bruised tomorrow just from how hard he was holding you down. He wasn’t attentive, nor perceptive to you. He didn’t kiss you, just barred his teeth through heavy breaths.

This must have been all related to the night at Tony’s party. He was probably angry with you after that night – not talking to him at all. Not to mention you didn’t say anything when he clearly knew something was up with you; you definitely owed him an explanation. You couldn’t blame him or being angry. You weren’t so sure this was his best reaction. He was so dangerously quiet.

That’s when you threw your head back against the pillows, biting your lip and squeezing your eyes shut. Was he just fucking you to fuck you? He came quickly and without warning, spilling into you with nothing but another grunt.

He dropped on top of you, pelvis to pelvis, his cock still inside your warm cunt. He dropped his head to your chest, you shirt still left on from earlier. He shut his eyes and wrapped his arms around him. Your fingers found his hair, stroking his chestnut strands as he fell asleep on top of you.

Maybe he was just tired from waking up early? He probably needed to get his aggressions from the day out – not to mention the frustration from you basically ignoring him all day and night. There was a feeling in the back of your head, though, that this sudden change of pace may have been brought on by something else. His eyes were shut the whole time – hell, maybe he was thinking about that blonde girl from the party.

You said it to yourself as a joke – it was a fleeting thought. But you couldn’t stop thinking about it after that. Was he picturing someone else? He wasn’t turned on by you – you didn’t even get a chance to do anything sexy before he was fucking you with your clothes on. He’d probably rather be sleeping with someone else. Someone who made porn star noises and pulled his hair harder and –

God, you were tired of thinking like this.

So I wanna know who's on your phone Making me paranoid, making me bad Making me sad, making me crazy Making me feel like I needed to ask I wanna know if you're at home And if you're at home, baby, are you alone? Are you alone? Answer your phone Oh, baby, no no no

Things went back to normal after that. You weren’t sure what had gotten into him – and you – that day, but it was nothing but a distant memory. You were dating for about a year and a half. From that point, you two had kept everything very lowkey. Extravagant parties were few and far between, dates became even more private – no distractions, nothing to get between the two of you.

“Baby, I’m home,” you called, throwing your purse and keys on the kitchen table. You were hit with the faint smell of dinner, but as you checked the stovetop and oven, you were met with nothing – just the leftovers already cold in the fridge. You worked late tonight – tonight and every other night for the past three weeks. It was only nine, which wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t have to wake up at five tomorrow to get into the office early. Your team was being met with a deadline soon, there were a lot of extra hours being put in to get the project done. You weren’t one to complain because you were the boss. You weren’t going at this alone, you had everyone else working with you helping out. But it was your job to make sure everything got done, and that included being the first one in and the last one out.

Bucky said it never bothered him. He’d go on missions for days – sometimes weeks – at a time. He encouraged you to work hard, he loved your drive and commitment to your company. He motivated you; he knew you had drive and could get things done. He loved being able to support you, too. When Steve first introduced the idea of dating to him, he wasn’t sure he wanted someone who was only obsessed with him: who got their own recognition just by being his girlfriend. He was lucky enough to be your boyfriend.

You took the Tupper wear from the fridge, popping it in the microwave and waiting for your food. You noticed Bucky on the sofa. Kicking your heels off you made your way to the living room, calling out to him again. He sat up, his face donning a large grin as he waved to you, quickly pointing to the cell phone propped up against his ear. You gave him a shy wave back, turning back to the microwave, soon to be beeping with your meal. You ate dinner alone at the kitchen table, nothing but the sound of Bucky’s roaring laughter bouncing off your ear. By the time you finished, you tossed the bowl into the sink, making your way up to your bedroom.

“Ok, yeah, I’ve gotta go – ” Bucky said into the phone, before interrupting himself with a chuckle, laughing at whatever the person on the other end said. “Yes, I have to go. Yeah, no, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

You shut the door before he could get off the couch and flopped straight into bed, groaning. All you wanted to do was fall right asleep, unbothered. That’s when Bucky came in and plopped himself right down on the bed next to you. “Hey, babe,” he greeted you, giving you a light pat on the ass.

“Hey, Buck,” you replied, tucking your arms up underneath your head, propping your head up on your hands. You offered him a tired smile, gazing into his adoring blue eyes. “Who was that on the phone?”

“It was nobody,” he replied, quickly changing the subject. “How was work?”

Well that was extremely unlike him. You already knew all his friends. If it was one of them, he would’ve just said so. But it clearly wasn’t, especially considering how giggly he was on the phone. You just narrowed your eyes at him, breezing right past it. “Good – tiring,” you corrected. “But this contract closes out next week, so hopefully not that many more long days after that.”

“Good to hear, I know you can get it done, baby,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose.

…

The next day, you were met with nearly the same sight. Bucky on the couch, but this time, dinner was covered on the stove. “Thanks for cooking, Buck,” you call to him, taking the lid off the pot and serving yourself a plate. He jumped from the couch and came up behind you, hugging you from behind and kissing your neck.

“Anytime, baby.” He pressed another smooch to your neck before stepping back and grabbing a bottle of wine from the counter. He poured up to glasses, situating himself at one end of the table, waiting for you to join him at the other end. Once you do, your phone rings from your purse. You drop your head back with a groan. “You should probably get that,” Bucky offered, reaching for your purse and holding it out to you.

You give him a quiet “thank you,” and answer the call. Not even before you can answer it, he’s pulling out his own phone and texting away on it. You take your call at the table, a quick last-minute question from a colleague. You tried to focus on what he was saying on the other line, but all you could do was stare at Bucky, smiling down at his phone, furiously typing away.

“No problem, Dave. Thanks for taking a look at it, we can finish up tomorrow morning,” you say into the phone, offering a quick goodbye before hanging up and digging into your food, glaring at Bucky from under your eyelashes. He still sat on his phone, laughing to himself. Once he heard your knife slide against the plate, he locked his phone, shoving it back into his pocket and looking up at you, starting another conversation about your day. You quickly changed the subject to him.

You internally rolled your eyes. All you got was talking about your day and whatever girl on the other end got giggly Bucky? Whenever work got busy, your relationship got boring. It may have been partially your fault: short tempered, tired; you put everything into your work and maybe not enough into Bucky. But your jealousy issues got the better of you. Maybe he was just talking to Sam? Or laughing at memes with Steve – they had a lot to catch up on, afterall. But if so, wouldn’t he just say that instead of saying he was talking to “nobody?”

But your paranoia was actually well placed and almost deserving. Bucky still graced the covers of magazines and newspapers. The attention people gave you quickly died down after the one-year mark on your relationship. You didn’t mind, all it was just a little more peace in your day-to-day life. That same attention never did (and never would) die down for him. He still saved the world; more importantly, he was still hot. Meaning the tabloids would continue to try to stir up trouble with him and every woman he knew. They wanted to play matchmaker, constantly shipping him with the other beautiful women he spent time with – whether that be at work or not. Thinking about all that and Bucky’s charismatic personality was almost too much for you.

…

The third night in a row where you’d come home past nine. The first night without dinner. You were met with an empty apartment, no food, no lights, not a single sign of life. You tossed your bag on the table and immediately called for takeout. As you waited for your Chinese food to arrive, you changed into your pajamas, and called Bucky.

No answer.

All you wanted was to lay on the couch and feast with him. If you were going to stuff your face, you wanted it to be with someone who really knew how to eat. After trying again with no answer, you dropped your phone on the coffee table and began flipping through the channels on TV. Not finding anything good to watch, but also deciding you didn’t have the mental capacity to watch something new, you threw on some Friends reruns. Something you could watch without having to pay attention: just what you were in the mood for.

When the doorbell rang, you jumped, almost forgetting you ordered food. You swung open the door, half expecting to find Bucky on the other side, but you were instead met with the delivery boy. You paid the guy and took the food to the living room, feasting on the couch straight from the little takeaway containers. You didn’t do this often, but damn, it was relaxing.

You picked up your phone: no notifications.

There were a few excuses you made up for him as you stuffed your face with noodles. He could be in the middle of training. You knew him and Steve too well, and knew they always had enough supersoldier energy to fit a workout in anywhere and anytime. That, or he could just be busy. Maybe a work thing came up – he does save the world for a living, afterall. He could just be at the tower. It’s not like he officially lived with you. (It was unofficial, though; he did spend nearly every other night sleeping here with you. And if he didn’t, he would at least give you a reason why he wasn’t). But you’re not his mother or his gatekeeper. There was no reason he absolutely had to tell you where he was and that he wasn’t coming over – that was crazy. But it was just…

Unlike him.

Even if he was at the tower, why wouldn’t he answer?

And as you continued onto your dumplings, you quickly began comfort eating, as your mind traveled to the worst reason you could make up.

Afterall, he never told you who he was laughing on the phone with all this time. He couldn’t even stop himself from laughing at his texts – it was blatantly obvious. There’s no way Reddit could be that funny. You scoffed. It probably was some girl – maybe that blonde from the party. You had no idea of knowing who, but you surely couldn’t stop yourself from speculating.

You called again.

Again.

Again.

You just wanted to hear his voice.

You just wanted to know he was okay.

Okay and alone.

American, my American, American boy You know it's my American boy

It wasn’t every day that you thought about Bucky in such a way. Honestly, you didn’t like to think about the other women that he might be friends (or more) with. It was just your own little fucked up indulgence.

Against your best judgement, Bucky convinced you to go to another one of Tony’s parties. “It’s Steve’s birthday party, (Y/N), you have to go!”

So, you did go. And just like the very first time you met Bucky – at one of these parties – you dragged yourself out of bed and got all dressed up to head to the event. You knew even Steve wouldn’t want such a big celebration, so you’d at least have one person to mope around with.

You held on to Bucky the whole night; your arm gripping his metal bicep as the two of you mingled. Bucky liked having you tucked into his side all night, the warmth of your body pressed up against his arm. “Hey, Stevie,” you greeted him, offering a warm hug. “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks, (Y/N),” he replied, hugging you, then Bucky. “Happy Independence Day,” he added.

Bucky’s hand immediately snaked around your waste, pulling your hip against his.

It wasn’t until he left to use the bathroom that you suddenly felt naked. You almost wanted to wrap your arms around yourself in comfort. You felt stupid – you were in a room full of friends, people you knew, that you liked. Yet, every time you were in this setting, you never felt more insecure.

And apparently it showed.

You were joined by none-other than the reason for your insecurity. “(Y/N),” she greeted you with a curt nod.

“Hey, Natasha,” you responded, taking a long sip of your drink. She watched you under lidded eyes, her red lips pursing slightly. She looked great, of course, her royal blue dress hugging her curves tightly, he heels adding extra height the both of you knew she didn’t need. “What’s up?”

She shrugged a shoulder. “Enjoying the night?”

Now it was your turn to shrug. “As much as I can, I guess. I’ve been waiting for the fireworks show. It was the best last year.”

She nodded, this time taking a swig of her own drink. “Tony sure does know how to throw a party.”

“Yeah,” you scoffed. “He’s thrown enough of them.”

The two of you stood in silence for a moment; it wasn’t super comfortable for you, but she sure didn’t seem to notice – or care. “You seem a little on edge.”

She wanted you to out yourself. Surely, she was going to pull it out of you somehow. “Not really my scene,” you noted, swirling the ice around in your glass.

“Look, (Y/N),” she began, obviously confirming your suspicion. “There’s never been anything between me and Bucky. In fact – ” she glanced around the room, eyes stopping on a particular man. “ – I’ve got a few skeletons of my own.” You tried to follow her line of sight, but the crowd was too thick in that direction. “He loves you so stop trying to find things wrong with your relationship. He may have been a charming guy back in the day, but you’ve got him wrapped around your finger.” She winked, a small smile building across her plump red lips.

You didn’t even know what to say in that moment. You gawked at her – at Black Widow hyping you up? Was that her way of doing it? Hell, she could tell you that you intimidated every single person in this room, and you’d take it as the biggest compliment ever. To hear about your power from her? Practically an honor.

“Hey,” Bucky spoke up from behind you as he returned. “What’s goin’ on over here?”

“Just girl talk,” Natasha replied before heading off.

Bucky turned to you, confused. “What’s that about?”

You stared at her as she walked away, swaying her hips and heading for the man she mentioned earlier. “I’m not too sure,” you said slowly, mesmerized by her walk.

Bucky’s hand in yours made you turn up towards him, meeting his blue eyes. “Ready to get out of here?” He whispered lowly.

You bit your lip and nodded, setting your glass down and squeezing his hand in both of yours.

Bucky carried you from the front door to the bed; he placed you down on top of the mattress like you were made of glass. He kissed your lips like he was going off to war, but he tasted like he’d just returned.

His hands ran furiously over your back, eventually resting on the zipper and tugging downwards; your hands ran all over his chest, tugging his shirt open, no regard for the buttons. He started peeling your dress off your body as you leaned back on the bed, working on taking off your bra while he discarded the dress on the floor. He followed suit, discarding his clothes before returning to the bed, covering your body with his warm one. His flesh hand cupped your jaw, the other holding his balance on the bed. Your arms wrapped around his neck one hand holding the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you, deepening the kiss, while the other ran through his tangled hair. You interlocked your legs around his waist, pulling yourself upwards to grind on his hard cock.

He moaned into your mouth, grinding back into you, reveling in just the feeling of your wetness gliding against his cock. His hand left your face to grab your ass, giving it a firm squeeze before he pinned your hips to the mattress with his own, humping against you. You whispered against him, pleading: “Bucky, please,” you whispered against his lips.

His mouth skidded down your cheek and past your jawline to suck a sloppy kiss onto your neck. As his face was buried in your shoulder, making his way down to your breast, his hand found its way between your hips, stroking your soaked lips. You hummed and gripped his hair as his finger split the difference, prodding its way into your soaked entrance. As two other fingers joined in, curling inside of your pussy, he licked your nipple, biting the pebbled nub softly. “You’re so wet, baby. Love how you’re always so wet for me.”

“Only for you, James,” you whispered, blissed out, head falling back against the mattress as his thumb found your clit, rubbing small circles under the hood. You felt a jolt up your body, your pussy instinctively clenching against his fingers.

He let out a deep breath, kissing your breast before planting a wet kiss to your lips, fingers not faltering. “I love you, (Y/N),” he murmured against your lips.

You opened your eyes, meeting his staring down at you, glazed over with lust. “I love you, baby,” you breathed, tilting your head up to kiss him again.

He pulled away from you, fingers stilling, long forgotten in the moment. “No, baby – ” he stopped, staring down at you, pleading with you, please understand. “Only you.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. Tears burning the back of your eyes. You bit your lip, nodding, not trusting your words as a few tears fell from the sides of your eyes, rolling down your skin to the mattress. He kissed you feverishly, teeth chipping against each other’s, lips and tongues sloppily sliding over each other, sharing air.

He pulled his hand away from your thighs, not moving far to line up his dick to your now soaked and desperate pussy. Your breath hitched as he pushed the tip in; all the air Bucky held in his lungs suddenly escaped him. “Fuck, extra tight for me tonight, huh?” You moaned, trying to rock your hips against his, his bodyweight pinning you down. “Eager, baby,” he groaned from the back of his throat.

“Please, baby,” you begged, fisting the sheets, using all your energy to grind against him. “Please.”

Please.

Please.

He complied, snapping his hips down into yours, his big dick stretching your walls. You yelped out, your opening burning as it welcomed his length. His cock curved upwards, hitting deep inside you as he swiftly moved his hips back and forth, quick rhythm never erring. His hand fell to your lower stomach, as he pressed his hand firmly above your public bone. “Mmm, look, baby, I can feel my dick in you,” he whispered, reveling in the feeling as his dick bottomed out inside of you. He felt the tip through the soft flesh of your belly – boy, you felt it, too. Every time he pounded into you felt your head spin. You saw nothing but black, stars blinding your vision at every thrust.

You nearly snaked your hand down to your clit for your final release, but he pulled your hand away, pinning it to the mattress above your head. He sat up on his knees, grabbing your other hand and joining it with the other, holding them both down to the mattress under the grasp on his metal hand. As he returned to leaning over you, sliding his dick back in your pussy, his flesh hand returned to your clit, rubbing in fast circles. You screamed, thighs coming together, snapping tightly against his hips.

That wouldn’t stop him. You weren’t strong enough to hold him in place; he kept fucking you into the mattress, your body shaking wildly as your legs were tied around him. Your back arched off the bed as your pussy throbbed. “Yeah, baby, squeezing my dick with your tight little pussy, huh?” You screamed out and nodded your head wildly, clenching around his cock as the pressure on your clit built up. “Fuck, you’re so good to me – made for me.”

You pulled against his metal arm, body convulsing underneath him. He watched with anticipation, biting his own lip nearly bloody as he pushed you over the edge of your orgasm. You yelped out, gasping for air as your eyes squeezed tight. Your legs shook around him, fingers clawing at his metal plated hand. Bucky could come along just from watching you tremble mid orgasm. But, god, your tight pussy quiver around him surely helped. He fucked you harder, the last few strokes hard and fast. He came with a groan, spilling his hot seed into your soaked cunt.

He whispered curse words to himself as he fucked his dick soft, mixing your own juices together before falling on top of you, pressing his lips to your neck, littering hickeys all over.

As he felt your post orgasm breathing change, he picked his head up, kissing all the way up your neck and jaw until he could look fully down at you. “Hey, baby, no,” he cooed once he caught sight of your watery eyes. “Why are you crying?” He kissed away the tears running down your cheeks.

You smiled at him, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to his lips. “’M fine, Buck – I just,” you huffed, rolling your teary eyes at yourself, thinking it all suddenly stupid. “I’m sorry – ”

“’s nothing to be sorry for, baby,” he whispered against the shell of your ear.

Your fingers grazed through his hair again, scratching slightly at his scalp. He knew. He knew what you were talking about. He always did – he always understood everything you did or said. “I love you, James.”

“I love you, (Y/N),” he murmured with one final kiss. “Only you.”

[tempestaurora]

FANDOMS: Marvel, Voltron: Legendary Defender, The 100, Harry Potter, The Raven Cycle, Community, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Umbrella Academy

NOTES:

i tagged every tumblr i could reasonably find. if you have more than one fic on this list, i have tagged you more than once. some people may be tagged like five times. i’m not sorry.

where relevant, fandoms have been split into general (platonic) centric fics, and romantic/slash fics. this is just because it’s easier than splitting it up into specific relationships.

at the end of every fic title/author line is a list of core relationships; fics are split between gen and romance depending on what relationship is considered centric. otherwise, fics are in no particular order. All fics are completed unless otherwise specified.

i added a read more because there’s over 100 fics listed here.

anyway, enjoy, thanks for the 3k followers

M A R V E L

gen centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

K.I.D. by blondsak @blondsak | Tony&Peter

summary: “Hi K.I.D. Glad you’re awake. Do you know your primary objective?”

“To always look for ways to remind Mister Stark - that’s you! - that Kindness Isn’t Dead.”

“That’s right, K.I.D. Good job.” 

forty miles by peter_stank @peter-stank

summary:  the one where Morgan is sick and Tony is in way over his head, so he calls his spiderson for a little bit of help. Tony&Peter

from now on by peterparkr @peterparkrr |  Tony&Peter

summary: Peter’s sure that Tony and Pepper’s wedding will change everything. 

Machine Wash Hot; Tumble Dry Low by alice_in_ink | Tony&Peter

summary: Do you ever fall into sewers and then need your billionaire mentor to wash your super-suit? Peter Parker does too. 

Captain That by maddo | Tony&Peter

summary: Just a bunch of little anecdotes regarding our favourite spider and his Instagram account, feat. a meme-tastic Tony Stark.

Here's to all the new beginnings by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter

summary: Peter gets a job. Tony is less than pleased. 

to know, to protecc, and to fuck with by peterstank and floweryfran @peter-stank @floweryfran | Tony&Peter, Natasha&Peter, Sam/May

summary: peter parker convinces the responsible adults in his life to join him on the world’s stupidest stake-out. 

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

i used to have nothing and then by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Clint&Natasha

summary: “Clint,” Natasha said. “You’ve got to let me go.”

“Clint,” she said, and he let her go. 

the hearth by sagemb |  Tony&Peter

summary: What to Do When Your Wife Is Out of the Country: A Guide by Tony Stark

1) Gain partial custody of a child 2) Sleep on the couch 3) Have the child gain partial custody of you.

Love in Ones and Zeroes by forensicleaf @forensicleaf | Tony&Peter

summary: a boy, a bot, and a bond through the years. Tony&DUM-E

call you home SERIES by Madelinedear | May&Tony, Tony&Peter

summary: sometimes family is who you're born with. and sometimes family is a spider boy, a rich not-dad, and a kickass aunt. (or; tony, may, and peter find a place in each other's lives) 

Not-Uncle Tony by Jen27ny @jen27ny | Tony&Peter, Happy&Peter

summary: Happy is Peter's biological father, and Tony is there for the entire ride. 

Between how it is and how it should be by frostysunflowers @frostysunflowers | Peter&Bucky, Tony&Peter, Steve&Bucky

summary: ''Doesn’t Captain Rogers ever…wonder,'' Peter winced as he fumbled for the right word, ''where you are?''

Bucky smirked. ''Steve’s a regular mother hen. Used to be me that worried about him.'' He gave Peter a pointed look. ''Better question is, isn’t Stark wondering where you are?''

The Unfortune Teller by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Tony&Peter

summary: A woman in a carnival booth predicts Peter's death. 

all the things yet to come (are the things that have passed) by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Peter&Morgan, Tony&Peter

summary: The first time Peter sees Morgan is at the funeral. 

tony and peggy’s big day out! by floweryfran @floweryfran | Tony&Peggy

summary: “What’s happened this time?”

“Just a bombing,” says Peggy.

“At three in the afternoon?” says Jarvis. “Frankly, how rude.”

Blips on the Record by ambivalentangst @ambivalentmarvel | Flash&Peter, Tony&Peter

summary: Flash Thompson’s story is not simple, Peter Parker can always use someone else in his corner, and secrets are had and protected by all. 

aiding and abetting: a peter parker saga by floweryfran and peterstank @floweryfran @peter-stank | Peter&Avengers

summary: 5 times peter parker runs into the rogues separately + the 1 time they work together as a team. 

Tennessee Outreach for Spider-Man (and friends) by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Harley&Peter, Harley&Tony

summary: in an attempt to help Harley beef up his college apps, Tony offers Harley a remote Stark Industries internship to help Spider-Man. It easily becomes his worst nightmare. 

Allston Christmas by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter, Tony&Peter&Rhodey

summary: “You guys didn’t have to do this,” Peter says from where he sits squeezed into the middle seat of the U-Haul, sweat running down his back. The air-conditioning in the truck they’ve rented is broken, and even with the windows rolled down it’s hellishly hot inside.

“We wanted to,” Tony replies as he blasts the horn at a minivan with a “Harvard Mom” bumper sticker that is attempting to cut into his lane.

so happy together by floweryfran @floweryfran | Tony&Ben

summary: ben parker calling tony stark a twink for 13k words

LONG (20K+)

An Unofficial Introduction to the Avengers SERIES by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so @isnt-it-pretty-to-think-so-tr | Tony&Peter

summary: The Avengers meet Spiderman via the online world, and then meet Peter Parker in Stark's living room. It takes them longer than it should to put two-and-two together. 

what is and will be (is you and me) by momentofmemory @momentofmemory | May&Peter

summary: 5 times May was there for Peter, +1 time he was there for her. 

dear mr. fantasy by iron_spider @iron--spider | Tony&Peter

summary: He grits his teeth and turns around, and before he can even begin to trudge over towards Peter’s room, he’s stopped in his tracks. By a door. In the middle. Of the living room.

“Well that’s new,” he says, still rooted to the spot.

timshel SERIES by justanotherblond @blondieewritess | Bucky&Peter, Steve/Bucky

summary: The soldier doesn’t remember his son’s birth or how he came to be. He doesn’t remember bedding a woman and watching her belly swell, but they said the boy was his. He does know that he will protect and teach the boy within the confines of their cell walls. Even when the handlers berate him. Even when the good guys take him away. 

odd couple buddies SERIES by bysine | Peter&Bucky, Sam&Thor, Tony&Peter

summary: "You know you're not supposed to call him the Winter Soldier any more, right?" Peter says, while they handcuff him to a pipe. A pipe. "Also this whole thing is kind of messing up my schedule. My two overdue papers won't exactly write themselves."

i understand (i’m a liability) by floweryfran @floweryfran | Harley&Tony, Harley&Peter

summary: “I… am not being challenged in the right ways here,” Harley says slowly, carefully.

“Then move here,” Tony says, and Harley’s heart drops straight into his feet. 

Roundabout by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter

summary: In which Peter attempts to survive long enough to graduate, Tony moonlights as a semi-professional party planner, and absolutely nothing goes according to plan. 

Uncle Steve's Fix-it Freelance Gig (and friends) SERIES by whowhotellsyourstory | Steve&Morgan, Tony&Steve, Bucky&Peter

summary: "You ever need help, and I'm not there-""Why wouldn't you be there?""You call Uncle Steve."

notes: probably my favourite post endgame fix it fic/series in existence

Dumpster Fires Verse SERIES by deniigiq @deniigi | Peter&Wade&Matt

summary: A collection of Team Red stories because they are all hot messes. Except Peter. Two-Thirds of them are hot messes.

Impression, Sunrise by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Peter&Morgan

summary: In Peter Parker's eyes, Morgan Stark is a lot of things: a terrible pancake chef, a top notch negotiator, the world's cutest six-year old. But above all, she is his family. He hopes he's enough. 

The Room Where It Happens by notapartytrick @notaparty-trick | Tony&Peter

summary: At 7:36 pm on the 12th of May 2016, Tony Stark is put in the Room.

A twelve-by-twelve-foot shed, soundproofed, double locked. It becomes his home. It has to be, because there’s nowhere else.

At 4:22 pm on the 15th of June 2017, Peter Parker is put in the Room.

They make a living under duress, fearing at every moment the entry of their captor. Confinement halts their lives in their tracks, changes them both for good: breaks them and brings them together simultaneously.

“If someone has everything they need, but nobody, do they have everything? Or nothing?”

romance centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

written in the star(war)s by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Peter/Michelle

summary: Michelle looks at the nurse one more time, and despite the evidence, asks, “Are you sure it’s twins?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” the nurse points them out again. “One boy, and one girl. Due...May 4th.”

It only takes Michelle 2.3 seconds to realize the horror of that sentence. 

Steve Rogers is (Not) A Good Influence by stevergrsno @stevergrsno |  Steve/Bucky, Steve&Peter

summary: Steve Rogers' American Tour Of Waiting For His Brainwashed Boyfriend To Come Back And Blowing Up Hydra is interrupted when Tony Stark dumps Peter Parker into his lap.

Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America by mybrotherharry @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah | Steve/Tony, Steve/Tony/Bucky

summary: It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again. 

Soft Spot for the Hell Raisin' Boy by ifeelbetter @ifeelbetterer | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Winter Soldier takes an interest in Sam Wilson. Bucky Barnes wants to tell him how to be Steve Rogers's best friend.

Cat’s Cradle by Traincat @traincat | Peter/Felicia

summary: The test was positive.

Felicia tilted it idly this way and that, sitting on the bathroom floor with her back against the cupboard. The floors and the counter tops were marble, and the shower door was glass. Every one of Felicia’s moves seemed to echo in the large room, even though she knew that she was making no sound.

The test was positive. She didn’t bother to check the box to make sure she’d gotten the little symbols right. She’d known before she took it.

“Well,” she breathed out, tilting her head back to inspect the ceiling. “Damn, Spider.”

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

cross this river to the other side by defcontwo | Steve/Bucky

summary: In 1943, the Howling Commandos wrote goodbye letters to be given to their loved ones in the event of their deaths.In 2014, Sharon Carter finds those letters in a tin can in an abandoned HYDRA base. 

Tony Stark Googled The Thing by mybrotherharry @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah | Tony/Pepper, Tony&Peter

summary: When Morgan is six months old, Pepper goes back to work and Tony takes over as stay-at-home dad. Discovering the mommyblogosphere is the inevitable next step.

Winter Soldier Program by NocturneByChopin | Steve/Bucky

summary: Here’s the thing: he’s got a bit of a secret. It involves a boy that went and became famous when Steve wasn’t looking. 

i was found and now i don't roam these streets by hipsterchrist | Steve/Bucky

summary: Bucky relearns himself and how to be on a team, the rest of the Avengers try to get answers, and everyone watches too much Criminal Minds. 

Between a Rock and a Hard Place by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Michelle/Peter, Michelle&Happy, Tony&Peter

summary: Ever since her mother died a few years back, Michelle's relationship with her father became strained in their grief. One night, after she's forced to show up at Peter's covered in bruises and in need of stitches, she remembers that even the most unsuspecting dormant volcanoes can erupt.

Brooklyn by togina @toli-a | Steve/Bucky

summary: "Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"

Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.

Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film by eleveninches, febricant, hellotailor, M_Leigh, neenya, tigrrmilk | Steve/Bucky

summary: Steve and Bucky find out Hollywood has been busy since they went away. A historical survey, including but not limited to: one set of exploded genitals, a brief interlude in France, Mel Gibson and other masterworks of casting, eight Academy awards, several dinosaurs, and something Tony Stark has ominously dubbed “the masterpiece.” Art included.

Project: Get Bucky Barnes a Dog by ruxian | Steve/Bucky

summary: Bucky Barnes does not have a dog. Bucky Barnes does not want a dog. Sam thinks that should change. Bucky does not agree. 

On My Radar by sprinkle_of_cinnamon | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Winter Soldier first noticed it when he was on the helicarrier.

The blonde’s shoulders were broad, incredibly broad.

They stretched the blue uniform in a wide span, drawing down to a narrow waist. It was a distinctly triangular silhouette. It was entirely improbable. And somehow it was strangely familiar.

The Winter Soldier raised his gun and fired. He didn’t have time for distractions, or Steve Rogers’ shoulders. 

LONG (20k+)

despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter @praximeter | Steve/Bucky

summary: “Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.” 

notes: may i say a massive fucking HOLY SHIT??????????? incredible. iconic. life-changing.

United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) by fallingvoices and radialarch | Steve/Bucky

summary: The Associated Press @AP Winter Soldier set to stand trial for Washington D.C. massacre and treason apne.ws/1og6SWE 

Bucky Barnes: Former Disney Channel Star SERIES by mambo @whtaft | Steve/Bucky

summary: "The question the entertainment world is asking themselves today is... Who is Steve? Hollywood superstar Bucky Barnes was spotted at a wrap-party last night, serenading someone named Steve onstage.” 

Not Easy Conquered SERIES by dropdeaddream and WhatAre Fears | Steve/Bucky

summary: In 1945, Steve Rogers jumps from a nosediving plane and swims through miles of Arctic Ocean to a frozen shore.

In 1947, Steve Rogers marries Peggy Carter.

In 1966, the New York Times finds the lost letters of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.

notes: if you’ve read stucky, you’ve read this series. i know this. just like i know that its the most GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL series ever written. no topping it. it’s number 1.

Strays by snarklyboojum @snarklyboojum | Steve/Bucky

summary: After finding himself alone for the first time in decades, the Winter Soldier learns how to be a person again. Mostly through caring for an orphaned kitten, countless rounds of YouTube roulette, and stalking Captain America. 

hold me until we crumble by queenklu @queenklu | Steve/Bucky

summary: “Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”

notes: one of my favourite standalone fics i’ve ever read

half awake in a fake empire SERIES by idrilka | Steve/Bucky

summary: In the aftermath of Steve's return to the world of the living and the battle of New York, the academia and the Internet react.

by the river potomac i sat down and wept by peterstank @peter-stank | Steve/Bucky

summary: bucky barnes atones.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell SERIES by AnnaFugazzi | Steve/Bucky

summary: Captain America and Bucky Barnes were like brothers. Everyone knew that. 

Out of the Dead Land by orphaned account | Steve/Bucky

summary: Someone is building machines that look and act like people.

Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier tries to be Bucky Barnes.

V O L T R O N:  L E G E N D A R Y  D E F E N D E R

romance centric fics

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

called out your name (but it was too late) by arahir @arahir | James/Keith, Shiro/Keith

summary:  An old classmate watches Keith fall in love with someone else. 

so much for the after party by arahir @arahir | Shiro/Keith

summary: Shiro gets his groove back.

i breathe disaster by arahir @arahir | Shiro/Keith

summary: After the wedding, Keith leaves Earth in search of something he can keep. 

notes: what doES THIS M E AN?!!!??!!?!?! i cried over this ending. i cr i e d. actual real tears. it was so upsetting somehow. and i am so confused. and i went and found the author’s imagined ending in the comments to help understand the open one and it just made me SADDER. i think this is one of those fics that tries to teach me to read the tags and back away at the word “angst”. anyway, excellent, everything i’ve read from this author was incredible

LONG (20K+)

Alien Sex Fiend by Glossolalia | Shiro/Keith | WIP

summary: It started at a drive-in in the 1980s. Unfortunately, this is a love story; a love story about the frontman of Quantum Queef, a punk band, and a boy who rides a red motorcycle. Also, they fight aliens. 

notes: i’m OBSESSED with this fic. i have read it many times. shiro as a punk singer of a band called Quantum Queef????????? and the fact that it’s the only fic on this account???? absolute POWER MOVE.

T H E  1 0 0

romance centric fics

SHORT (0 - 5K)

golden gunned girls by littlearrows | Bellamy/Clarke

summary:  They’re not good girls. They have no reason to be. 

notes: i think about this fic approximately twice a week despite reading it five years ago. there’s a song called gold gun girls by metric that makes me absolutely feral and would be the dream theme song for the intro sequence of the girl gang tv show of my dreams

and then my soul saw you by synchronicities | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Lexa tells Clarke that love within the cluster is the worst kind of narcissism. Bellamy begs to differ. Sense8 AU.

givers prove unkind by emullz | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: a modern au in which bellamy is in a band, he writes an album about clarke, and she is his ophelia. also, marriage.

she sounds like sex on the radio by lecornergirl | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: “Wait, hold on,” Clarke says. “Are you suggesting I—in the booth?” But her tone is a lot sterner than she feels. Against her better judgement, she’s into it. 

notes: idk what to tell you. i have only bookmarked like three smut fics in my life. it deserves it ok.

the kids aren’t alright by opensummer | Multiple Relationships

summary: The Pacific Rim fusion seven ways. 

notes: probably???? my favourite? pacific rim au? i’ve ever read??? does so much with so little

Haven’t You Heard? The World is Coming To An End by Jenye @likcoln-blog | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: So where would you rather die? Here or in Jaeger? Pacific Rim AU. 

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

three points (where two lines meet) SERIES by PinkCanary | Bellamy/Clarke/Raven

summary: Clarke wears the two names on her skin like a badge of honour. 

Icarus Lives by karusarchive @cluelesskaru | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: No one could ever have predicted the kaiju were coming.  Clarke Griffin was in need of a new Co-Pilot. Bellamy Blake had just graduated. You can guess how that goes.

notes: if anyone knows me at all, they know i’m a MASSIVE pacific rim fan. like, own all the books and graphic novels and have multiple pacrim t-shirts kind of fan. THIS FIC was my first experience with that franchise. my first ever. i watched the movie BECAUSE of this fic.

Pony Regrets SERIES by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Octavia drags Bellamy to a My Little Pony tournament. Bellamy is deeply upset about the whole thing, but then the girl running the tournament is really cute.

The Internet Is Forever SERIES by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Apparently, the internet has been shipping Bellamy Blake (of Team Arkade) and Clarke Griffin (of Craven Cosplay). No one told Bellamy about it. 

Nothing Like Old Times by LayALioness @filmnoirsbian | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: “Clarke killed some guy and stuffed him in the trunk,” Jasper says delightedly. “Your cousin’s dark, dude.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy nods, trying to backtrack. Sometimes he wishes she was actually better at making things up. “She’s a…closeted Goth.” Terminator AU. 

the feel-good hit of the summer by disco_vendetta @errorofyourways | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake are sleeping together. (aka ROCK BAND AU) 

notes: i think about this fic an OBSCENE amount. it’s been five years since i first read it.

LONG (20K+)

Your Mess Is Mine by monroeslittle @argyledpenguin | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: modern AU, Clarke grows up with Octavia, and Octavia's brother. 

notes: the fic that got me into fan fic in the first place. top tier. 42k.

Love Will Come Through by monroeslittle @argyledpenguin | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: AU. Clarke winds up in an arranged marriage with Bellamy. 

Neeeeeeeeeerds by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke joins the Junior Classical League for two reasons: to appease her mother and to annoy Bellamy Blake.

Our Time Now SERIES by TazmainianDevil | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: The Ark may have been short on all resources vital to sustaining life but one thing they never ran out of was guns.On an Ark that has always been defined by violence, Jake Griffin manages to save his daughter's life and Clarke joins a gang to change the world.

Disney Channel You by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Bellamy only goes to the open casting for Clarke Griffin's new Disney Channel show because Octavia begs him. He never thought he'd actually get the stupid part. 

And You Understand Now Why They Lost Their Minds and Fought the Wars by marauders_groupie @marauders-groupie | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke doesn’t understand why they say that soulmates are one soul in two bodies. Her soul has five other bodies and she would give her life for any of them. Sense8 AU. 

notes: probably my favourite sense8 AU i’ve ever read?? and i have read Many

build this fire higher, higher toward the sky SERIES by adelicatepeach | Bellamy/Clarke

summary: Clarke's jaeger goes down on a Thursday. Pacific Rim AU. 

H A R R Y  P O T T E R

gen centric fic

LONG (20K+)

yer a wizard, dudley by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Dudley&A Lot of People

summary: Minerva fished in her pocket without looking, because the only things allowed in her pockets were only ever exactly what she needed. “I've come to deliver this,” she said, “because Hogwarts by-laws require a professor to hand-deliver acceptance letters to Muggleborn families for their explanation and comfort." 

notes: i have only ever cared about two harry potter fics in my life. this is one of them.

the family evans by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Petunia&A Lot of People

summary: What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in? 

notes: this is the other one

T H E  R A V E N  C Y C L E

gen centric fic

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

Helter Skelter by Anonymous | Ronan&Blue

summary: In hindsight, a road trip with your step-brother and his best friends in Gansey's dying Pig is not an ideal way to start summer break. Sargent-Lynch siblings AU.

meet hennessy by izzylizardborn @gaybluesargent | Hennessy&Jordan

summary: Hennessy had seen movies. She knew how this went. When it came to clones, there was always a good one and an evil one. She didn’t need to wonder which was which.

life is not a movie, maybe by coyotesuspect | Ronan&Blue

summary: Ronan gets kicked out of Aglionby and enrolls at Mountain View High for his senior year. The only problem is, no one remembers to tell Blue. 

Honeymoon by vexmybones | Ronan&Blue

summary: Blue and Ronan living together, no buffers, no bullshit, this is how they cope. 

the bugs and alphabet by Pi @rhea314 | Ronan&Blue

summary: In which Blue babysits Chainsaw, Ronan & Blue make angry art projects, and some conversations are almost had. 

romance centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

Pretty Good, Right? by suddensingularity | Ronan/Blue

summary: Blue wants to have sex before her true love dies. Ronan helps out. Ronan/Blue

notes: yeah ok this is one of the three smut fics i’ve bookmarked its fun ok

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

It Had To Be You by shinealightonme @toast-the-unknowing | Ronan/Adam

summary: Ronan hates basically everything about their business, or that's what he tells Blue, but the worst part is that he's constantly meeting cute guys and none of them are single. 

darling, don’t make such a drama by shinealightonme @toast-the-unknowing | Ronan/Adam, Ronan&Henry, Ronan&Declan

summary: "Straight answers are boring," Cheng says, "and yes I do mean that for all values of straight. I do not need Ronan to share his tragic backstory, I would much rather deduce it on my own."

"Who says I have a tragic backstory?"

"With your fearsome glower and troubled good looks? If you did not have a tragic backstory it would be a waste."

 C O M M U N I T Y

romance centric fic

LONG (20k+)

Playing House by itsactuallycorrine @itsactuallycorrine | Jeff&Annie

summary: Six years ago, Jeff let Annie go. She never returned to Greendale, and he moved on. Now, he's a single dad to a one-year-old and he needs her help.

A V A T A R:  T H E  L A S T  A I R B E N D E R

gen centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

call it dreaming by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Toph&Gaang

After the war, Toph has nightmares. The screeching of metal, Sokka and Suki's screams, the snap of Sokka's leg as it broke from their fall. It's usually his confession that they aren't going to make it that makes her wake up in a cold sweat. She's anxious all the time now, unable to find peaceful sleep.

The cure is apparently to try and hold all of her friends hands for all hours of the days and hope that they're cool with it. 

what’s in a name by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Toph&Sokka

summary: At her request, Sokka teaches Toph to write her name.

He learns a thing or two about the weight his own name holds in the process.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

the beginning of a new and brighter birth by aloneintherain @captainkirkk | Zuko&Gaang

summary: “I’m so proud of you, my nephew.” Uncle cups Zuko’s face in his lined hand. The gesture is so tender, his palm so warm, that Zuko has to take a fortifying breath against the sudden swell of emotion in his chest.

“I want to be a good leader, Uncle,” Zuko says. “I want to look after my people.”

“You will,” Uncle says. “You are, nephew.”

In a new era of peace, Zuko works to be a very different Fire Lord than his forefathers.

the scope of blindness series by littlelionlady @thelittlelionlady | Toph&Gaang

summary: There are just some things that Toph's feet can't see.

Her hands can though.

Or, Toph learns what her friends look like by tracing their faces. 

notes: geniunely how goddamn beautiful is this. like. i cried. this is so soft and so cute and it made me feel SO MANY things

All The Gentle Creatures by Haircrescendo @sword-and-stars | Iroh&Zuko

It’s said that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals. Zuko may be loud and stubborn and sharp but all the woodland creatures love him. 

LONG (20K+)

The Family You Choose by TunaFishChris | Zuko&Gaang

summary: Some people are born with soulmarks. Zuko has them, but his grandfather burned them off because they "make you weak."

Team Avatar has a few things to say about that. 

such selfish prayers by andromeda3116 @andromeda3116 | Katara&The Fire Nation, Katara/Zuko

Katara's ambition, so long set aside for the good of others, breaks free and sets fire to her soul. Or, Katara has a vision of her canon future, casts it aside, and becomes a world-changing politician instead. 

and love will be your teacher SERIES by Ford_Ye_Fiji @ford-ye-fiji | Iroh&Zuko

summary: "And you will know the pain of losing a firstborn son." Ozai loses Zuko. Iroh gains a son. And the future changes.

notes: excellent excellent excellent excellent makes me very happy indeed

romance centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

on commitment by jdphoenix | Zuko/Katara

summary: “Just explain it to me again.”

“There is no way you can pass as my brother and we are way too conspicuous as two unrelated people, from different nations, traveling together. So we’re pretending to be married.”

we hold our hearts in silence by psychedelic_aya | Zuko/Katara

summary: Seventy years later, Korra tries to figure out Zuko and Katara. 

oracle bones by orphaned account | Zuko/Katara

summary: The foreign, pictorial characters that bracelet Zuko's left wrist have never been covered in any of his lessons. He cannot read them. And then he turns thirteen, and his father burns his wrist along with his face.

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

late nights/early mornings SERIES by shmulia @shmuliawrites | Zuko/Katara

summary: Whoever set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning is on Katara’s shit list. Even if he is hot and shirtless. 

the thing about dancing by anodymalion | Sokka/Zuko

summary: The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

LONG (20K+)

Fate Deferred by catie_writes_things @catie-does-things | Zuko/Katara | WIP

summary: Aang remains in the iceberg ten years longer. He awakens to a very different world. 

The Sparrowkeet SERIES by audreyii_fic | Zuko/Katara

summary: Ba Sing Se has fallen and Katara has been captured by the Fire Nation; a more adult take on the potential progression of S3. AU series of interconnected one-shots. 

notes: i would die for this series, particularly the last instalment. i enjoyed every single fic and it was just such a GOOD STORY.

T H E  U M B R E L L A  A C A D E M Y 

gen centric fic

SHORT (0 - 5K)

you from yesterday by questors (sieges) @softpunks | Five&Siblings

summary:  The difference between who his siblings once were versus who they are now. 

Ghost Math by pinstripedJackalope | Five&Klaus

summary: Number Five needs a new hobby now that the apocalypse is off. He decides to help Klaus--and in turn maybe he'll help himself. 

Then There Was Two by AnneKatherine | Five&Vanya

summary: Reginald Hargeeves finally decides to allow Grace to name the Academy. Unfortunately, he's only willing to let her name the Academy, which Seven is unfortunately not a part of.

[or how Five gave away his name]

(he definitely didn't want one anyway) 

i tiresias (have foresuffered all) by ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes | Five&Siblings, Five/Delores

summary: Five misses sharing his birthday, but Five has missed a lot of things.alternatively; number five, coffee, and the art of taking back. 

MEDIUM (5 - 20K)

The Five Vetting Process by jaz_hop | Five&Siblings

summary: In which Five is incredibly invested in the love lives of his siblings, because they're obviously too stupid to choose anyone worthy enough to be their partner. Otherwise known as Five being stupidly over-protective, and incredibly invasive in the hopes of keeping his siblings safe and happy... even if he is being a stalker and a dick about it. 

LONG (20K+)

You and I Together Forever SERIES by Ace_of_Spades_400 @ace-of-spades-400 | Vanya&Siblings

summary: What if it hadn't only been Five, what if it hadn't been Five at all?

A series of stories about what would have happened if Vanya had chosen a different sibling.

Sometimes the choice isn't hers.

Timeliness 1-2.1 SERIES by dgalerab | Hargreeves Siblings

summary: As the world ends, Five takes his siblings back into their child bodies on the day he originally left. With the knowledge of how the world ends fresh in their minds, the Hargreeves siblings do what they can to leave clues for their past selves on how to grow up a little less fucked up before returning to the present.

A present where they all have different lives they can't remember, there's a fun new apocalypse on the way, and Reginald Hargreeves remembers the day where all his children suddenly and inexplicably lost their minds and all respect for him at once a little too well.

Rare Birds SERIES by Cryptix23 | Hargreeves Siblings

summary: An alternate 2019 brings with it new problems and new dangers.

The two sets of Hargreeves children mix like water on a greasefire. It's hard to tell which group is unhappier about the situation -- the Sparrows, trying to navigate the minefield of their new siblings' many traumas, or the Umbrellas, trying to carve their place back into a world that forgot them.

Plus the whole saving-the-world thing hanging over them all.

Whether they like it or not, they're going to have to learn to work together. 

Partners, Parents, or None of the Above by DarkFairytale | Diego&Klaus

summary:  Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number Five’s parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening. 

[lovelyirony]

dialogue prompt for Sam/Maria: "I wish you'd told me first."

had no idea what to do with this for nearly a year. but now i do 

When Maria joined SWORD, she was just expecting the usual problems: space travel, aliens without visas, and maybe Sharon coming back and annoying her about the “necessary” cappuccino machine in her office. 

She wasn’t expecting to be on the personal team to help Sam Wilson adjust to being Cap. 

This was...odd. It was weird for everyone. But she could roll with weird, so she asked Sam if he knew how to throw it like a Frisbee yet, or if his arm strength wasn’t there yet. 

“Oh ha, ha, so funny,” Sam says, rolling his eyes. “Of course I know how, I’m badass. I am Captain America after all.” 

Maria doesn’t say anything about the look in his eyes when he says that, like he’s so afraid that someone will tell him he’s not. 

And people will. 

Steve going back in time is on an extremely strict need-to-know basis. 

You can’t tell civilians there are alternate timelines or else you get a mess of epic proportions and the news coverage will not stop blaring no matter where you go, and sometimes Maria likes going to coffee shops for peace and quiet and the occasional croissant. 

Barnes is...Maria likes him. A lot, actually. He’s not what the history books painted him as, and he looks at situations like she does: carefully, and with the goal in mind.  

Sam is a lot like Steve, which is...stress-inducing. 

She had remembered when Sam had practically launched himself out of the old DC quarters and nearly died if not for the placement of the helicopter, and he’s not slowing down any time soon. 

Hayward is getting on her about it and if she’s being completely honest, she’s about to pull experience rank and tell him to fuck off and focus just completely on getting his head out of his ass. 

Sam is doing fine, considering every single circumstance he’s been put into and the minor PR fiasco by challenging Spider-Man to get his ass kicked. 

“I’m going to kill you,” Maria says when Sam picks her up from the airport. She had to travel because somebody told her that she’d be needed on a mission, and Sam was too stubborn to tell her. 

“We’re fine. Bucky and Sharon can help me.” 

“Well too damn bad, you’re getting Hill,” Maria says. 

“I wish I could take you seriously without the neon pink tank top you’re working with,” Sam says, grinning. “I think the brightest color I’ve ever seen you in is forest green.” 

“False, I was at the party that Ultron crashed, you saw me there,” Maria says. “And I don’t do warm weather. I had to buy this last-minute, so you’re lucky.” 

“You’ll need some other items if we’re gonna get anything done,” Sam mentions. 

“Fuck me,” she mutters. 

“Maybe later,” Sam responds lightly, and she gives him an eyebrow raise. He just shrugs and asks if she has a suitcase, which of course she does. 

- 

Sharon greets her with a smile and asking if she wants a beer. 

“What kind is it?” 

“Local stuff. Supposed to be hoppy.” 

“Ugh, fuck that,” Maria groans. “I’m not doing the shitty IPA beer. Who bought that?” 

“Me, and it’s good,” Bucky mentions from the couch. He’s a little worse for wear: it looks like he’s a day into his recuperation from the last mission. “How you doing, Hill?” 

“Better than you,” she mentions. “What are we dealing with?” 

Sharon fills her in, and Sam is reluctant to let her come. 

“Director’ll kick my ass if you get hurt. I’ll kick my ass if you get hurt.” 

“Quit worrying about me,” Maria says, pushing down the feeling of warmth that Sam’s statement gave her. “And if the director says shit, tell him to shove his boot up his own little-” 

“Okay, let’s not get riled up over this,” Sharon says. “Bucky and I were surveilling a little bit of it from the ground, Sam over here had a lovely aerial view. So let’s get a plan...” 

It’s a weapons shipment. Some old SHIELD stock that fell into the wrong hands and is falling faster and faster. 

“You miss it?” Sam asks her later that night. They’ve made a meal, and Maria is completely real, she can’t remember the last time she cooked with friends. 

(That’s a lie. It was after SHIELD fell and Natasha and her...well. It’s over and done with now.) 

“Of course,” Maria says. “SHIELD was my life. It was my first real job and I loved it.” 

“You think SWORD can do that?” 

“Depends on if Hayward resigns,” Maria says. “I never got to enjoy working with Rambeau.” 

“Was she the director?” 

“The founder,” Maria says, smiling. “I had met her a couple times. She was close with Director Fury, personal friends with Captain Marvel. Died some years back. Her daughter is back now, helping with some confusion in New Jersey.” 

“What’s happening in New Jersey?” 

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” Maria says. “But let’s focus on this mission, and get it done.” 

“You think we’re entitled to some time off after this one?” Sam asks. 

“If we’re lucky,” Maria says. “Why?” 

“Wondering if you wanted to go to dinner with me,” Sam says. 

Just as easy as that. 

Maria looks over at him. 

“It’s optional,” Sam goes on, clearly a bit worried. “Did I ruin this, or...?” 

“No, no you didn’t,” Maria says, grinning. “But we don’t need to have time off for dinner.” 

“No, but we’ll need it for other things,” Sam says, waggling his eyebrows. “Like getting you out of that godawful pink top.” 

“Oh like you actually care,” Maria says sarcastically. 

 “The color? No. Getting it off? Yes.” 

Maria snorts, getting up off the porch. 

“Well come on, you insufferable romantic. We need to head to bed and get some sleep before tomorrow.” 

Sam smiles, accepting her hand to get up. 

“But you still want dinner, right?” 

“Everyone wants dinner, especially with a good date,” Maria says. “But I’m not doing pizza.” 

“What, no pizza?” 

“Reserved for extenuating circumstances,” Maria says. “Goodnight, Sam.” 

“Well, what about Mexican?” 

“...maybe.” 

“Chinese?” 

“Could also work, we’ll see what we’re feeling tomorrow,” Maria. “If not injured and sore.” 

She waves at the door at him, smiling to herself as she enters the room. 

Sharon’s sharing the room, and snorts at her. 

“So, you and Sam finally asked each other out instead of doing that weird flirty thing you do?” 

“What weird flirty thing?” 

“Where you pretend like you don’t let him get away with literally everything and he pretends like he doesn’t look at you like you invented the world?” 

“He doesn’t look at me like that,” Maria mutters. 

“You need to go to the eye doctor’s.” 

“So do you.” 

“Hey!” 

She shrugs off her outfit of the day, changing into comfy pajamas. 

Sharon’s dozed off, and Maria follows her in sleep, smiling to herself. 

(On the other side of the house they’re staying in, Sam is threatening Bucky with suffocation by pillow if he doesn’t shut up about Maria. 

Bucky is taunting him and saying that since Maria and he are friends if Sam kills him, he’ll never get that first date.) 

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

[ ooc: FINALLY got around to this, after the foible this morning with it, so this is try number 2 at ep5 liveblog/commentary... under the cut as always ]

this has a speedrun/summary version of impressions the first third of it because I’d already watched all of that before tumblr ate the post so I might miss stuff idk. and then after that it’s my typical sporadic livebloggy madness. this got SUPER long oops

We have a lot of motifs in this episode, including the bloodied shield, the use of the shield as essentially a giant blunt blade rather than a shield, the conflict between different people’s interpretations of what ‘fighting because one has to’ means.

Walker is running from himself at the beginning, but where does one run to when the war is in your head? Particularly poignant for me (because I know that in the comics he joins the army to emulate his deceased brother) is how deeply the loss of a brother-in-arms cuts, but even more so how much the thought that he’s disappointed Lamar hurts. I think that in some ways, Lamar may have been a part of John’s moral compass, and his sustained belief in him has always helped him. It’s a reversed parallel to Steve and Bucky, actually, and I could elaborate on that but it might turn into an essay.

John tries to walk away from the fight at first, partly because he has other priorities, and partly because I think he does genuinely recognize that Bucky and Sam are good people. Of course there’s also the layer that he thinks of them as the original Cap’s sidekicks and therefore as the new Cap shouldn’t fight them, but… anyway the fight sequence is interesting to watch because it does show John as fairly well matched with them despite the fact that MCU Bucky has the serum. Part of this might be their reluctance to kill him while John has given up the façade and is now willing to do that in order to further his own plans as long as he doesn’t get caught. He cannot lose the title he’s given or he’ll be lost, now that he doesn’t have his best friend.

“Don’t go down that road. Believe me, it doesn’t end well.” “I’m not like you.” The difference is that Bucky was brainwashed. Yes, he’s still ruthless even after he’s broken free of it, but he’s taking conscious steps to be better. And thus the determination behind the “Yeah we do.” The shield deserves better than being in John’s care.

I paused to write and stopped on this face I’m laughing

The “why are you making me do this?” is obviously coming from a place of delusion but also speaks to how John’s personal motives are super unclear. Why did he take on the mantle of Captain America when it was established from the very beginning that he wasn’t completely comfortable with it? Was it, as he told Lamar, because he wanted a chance to be good? (In which case, obviously he’s having a breakdown about not achieving that?) Was it for his ego? Because he was commanded to? Having a John muse makes this a very interesting thing to explore.

Seeing Bucky’s arm get electrified and him knocking out because that’s directly tied to his neural implants was not any easier the second time around oof

“This isn’t you, John.” Further proof that Sam Wilson has more heart than legit anyone else, he’s still trying to believe that John is good.

I find it interesting that they have John remove the cowl in order to growl “I am Captain America.” It speaks to a rejection of what the old Cap was (though the cowl is the US Agent / updated Cap one) and his insistence that his version of Captain America is valid. (It’s not.)

Also because my literary obsessed reads way too much into tiny things that the show runners probably didn’t really care about as metaphors, I definitely saw the ripping of Sam’s wing as a reference to the restriction of freedoms by the US government lol just ignore me on that.

Bucky and Sam repeatedly saving each other’s asses is my jam. Also Sam using the power from the wing pack keeps reminding me from my observation back at the beginning that he’d do so well with full out repulsors. Tony totally would have set him up with that if MCU hadn’t killed him alas.

More of me finding parallels where there shouldn’t be any: they broke Walker’s left arm, just like they took away Bucky’s left.

I took a screenshot of this image when I watched it in the previous round, and it’s still going to haunt me. There’s something so tired and haunted and defeated here.

Bucky gives Sam the shield, because there’s nobody who deserves it more. The look on Sam’s face when he takes it and tries to clean the blood off of it (physically and symbolically of course) is heartbreaking. It’s a man who regrets his decision not to take it on originally but also now has to deal with the implications of both taking on that responsibility (in a country that doesn’t treat him fairly) and whether people will approve of anyone carrying the shield after John has fucked it up so badly.

A note that carries over from my first watch: people don’t usually refer to their enemies by first name. It’s done in comic books and movies with some frequency to remind people who is who, and in this case may also be a bit of humanization for Karli, a reminder that she is a sympathetic character despite the vicious way she does things sometimes. I also appreciate them reminding the audience that she’s competent and has a lot of support.

ALSO TORRES MY DARLING I’VE MISSED YOU. I wonder if Sam letting him keep the wings will actually develop into something (a la comics) or if they’re leaving that open ended. Also his smile is literal sunshine I’m not even joking about this, please give me all the Joaquín content thank you. Just look at him!!

I think by this point most viewers are fairly convinced that John Walker is Not A Good Man, but I think that his rant about always having done what he was told and done it well is purposeful and poignant here. His motives have always been to serve, but the matter of who he’s serving (or more importantly what - the military machine, the government that simply gives orders without thinking of the personal ramifications for those who carry them out) is put in contrast to Sam and Bucky, who are also veterans. I can’t help but draw parallels to the Nuremberg trials, people who did heinous things under orders and try to use that as an excuse for their innocence. It’s a reminder that a person doesn’t have to be visibly part of an evil group in order to do evil things. I won’t outline everything here but at least as far as the US Military goes, more info can be found at https://www.thebalancecareers.com/military-orders-3332819 about how and when it is defensible for people in the military to disobey orders.

You can hear John’s voice break during his rant, the conviction that he was doing what he was supposed to. He could have gotten away with more if he hadn’t been such a public figure, but an “other than honorable discharge” lmao what a diplomatic way to tell him how badly he fucked up xD

Also hey it’s Olivia. Most people forgot that John has a wife. (I’m glad she’s telling him to visit Lemar’s parents, they deserve that.) Also is this Valentina or is this a Skrull? Only time will tell.  (She’s probably not a Skrull, FATWS is too short for that, but on the other hand I’m not sure how I feel about the implications otherwise. Is she a SHIELD infiltrator? Is she manipulating him on SHIELD’s behalf? Did they steal the name and get rid of her backstory?)

The resignation on Zemo’s face during his encounter with Bucky (especially with a gun to his face) is unnerving. Zemo calling Bucky “James” made Natasha outright glare though. Her priorities are a little odd. But I’m glad Bucky didn’t kill him, I’m glad he’s not allowing him to be a victim of his conditioning. The Dora Milaje are taking him to the Raft… oh wait there might be Skrulls after all.

“If you ain’t bitter, you’re blind.” I feel that. I feel that hard. But I also understand the misplaced blame, the tendency for people who have been Through It seeing anyone outside their minority as their oppressor.

For someone who has dealt with the immensity of the trauma that Isaiah has, including the experimentation, the social isolation, the experience of being in the jail system for so long, it’s no surprise at all that he would be quick to assign blame. Add to that the risk of being killed for being part of an experiment that you didn’t agree to partake in early on, followed by extensive experimentation after? There are so many factors at play: violation of self, lack of agency, lack of safety… D: and the physical reminders of them are everywhere. look at the scarring D: D: D:

The range of emotion in this is so good, the acting is so good, I’m just overwhelmed with how honest this feels. 

“They erased me. My history. But they’ve been doing that for 500 years.” OOF

The crease in Sam’s brow when he’s told that no self-respecting black man would wanna be Captain America, there’s such righteous indignation there, but he has to temper it in the face of Isaiah’s grief. Over and over he proves himself capable of putting compassion first and foremost.

This sibling dynamic has been really nice to see. There’s tension, there’s individual struggles, there’s support (not always in the ways it needs to be, but they’re trying), but more obviously there’s a depth of love there. Seeing it is so rewarding.

LOOK AT THE WHOLE COMMUNITY SHOWING UP!! Oh man so this gets me, because I grew up in a neighborhood where we supported each other and threw block parties and everyone trooped into our backyard to play on the swingset that had been left behind by the previous owner. It wasn’t family, sure, but we took care of each other. In India, it was even more so, and even now when I go there, I crash at my next door neighbors’ place instead of my family’s house most of the time. I miss having that sense of community, that closeness to people because we all had each other’s backs. Where I live now, I don’t even know most of my neighbors’ names. It sucks.

Ahh, there’s the part that I’ve seen the gifs of, with Bucky showing up at the boat. I like the idea that Bucky has slowly come to think of his metal arm as more of a normal part of him despite the ache and heaviness of it. Of course in MCU, he has the serum so maybe he doesn’t notice as much, but I can’t imagine he wouldn’t experience phantom pain in it until at least he internalized it as his own body part, and even then the shoulder joint would probably ache. Still, perhaps it’s more akin to an old injury than a foreign object now, and therefore Bucky still does what he would do naturally, using his dominant hand instead of the ‘enhanced’ one.

I have Feelings about Bucky saying “I’m Bucky” with a smile okay I HAVE FEELINGS

Bucky must have worked the docks a lot way back in the 40s. His level of competence is one of natural instinct, he’s just used to it. I wonder if he worked extra to help pay for medication for Steve after Sarah passed away… oh, more feels :(

Meanwhile Sam is over here doing his human best and I love that. He calls in the crew to help, relies on people, but it never stops him from being a part of it. He’s not taking a managerial role, he’s another tooth on the gear.

“They don’t care if you wear small tee shirts or have six toes or your mom’s your aunt” lmao my brain went ‘You don’t happen to have six toes on your right foot, do you?’ ‘Do you start all of your conversations this way?’ But also look how happy they look here!!!

“Don’t flirt with my sister. Because if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up, feed you to the fish.” SAM YOU’RE SO RIDICULOUS. But also the way Bucky goes a little pouty after. <3

Lemar’s family! Okay so Walker is straight up lying to them about who it was that killed him, but given the circumstances, I don’t expect anything different. And perhaps part of that is to assuage the family about the fact that there’s ‘justice’ done, but part of it also has to be a slight ego play, and you can see on his face that when they talk about him resting easier, his jaw sets. He’s going to go after who actually did it, whether he has the jurisdiction to or not. He does seem genuinely regretful and I will reiterate the brother-in-arms bit above. Walker needed Lamar as a support system, a confidante, and a nudge in the right direction.

What is Bucky thinking about when he sees the kids playing with the shield? Is he remembering his own childhood? Is he thinking about a future where the shield will be valued and honored and carried right again? Is he thinking about what it’s like to have a family, and missing his own? I need to know these things -_- -> WAIT I THINK IT GOT ANSWERED DURING THE TRAINING MONTAGE. Oh it’s even more than I thought augh. The closest thing he’s got left to a family is the shield because Steve was as much a part of it as it was a part of Captain America dfsjhdgfsd

Sarah telling the boys off! Good for you, girl. (Also I’m laughing at “she’s a very mean person” and “there’s a prowess that goes into my madness” pfft Sam)

“You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are.” is SUCH AN IMPORTANT SENTIMENT. And “You want to climb out of the hell you’re in, do the work.” As someone who deals with a lot of mental illness bullshit, this is the TRUEST statement. Yeah, you might need help. It might be therapy, it might be meds, it might be other coping skills and distractions, but if you don’t want to be better and do better for yourself and face the rawest and most uncomfortable parts of your psyche, you don’t improve. You stay complacent, stay stuck in that rut, doing the same things that didn’t work before. I need to say it doubly because you know some people are going to say that Sam’s not giving Bucky the support he needs to climb out. IT’S NOT HIS JOB. He will choose to give support when Bucky asks/needs because he’s a compassionate person, but this speech right here is compassion, it is exactly the tough love he says it is. Bucky needed to be called out on not coping and I’m glad that it happened.

….also now kiss, thank you.

“We’re partners.” “Co-workers.” “But we’re also a couple of guys with a mutual friend.” “Friend’s now gone.” “So we’re a couple guys.” XD -cue vine- two guys chilling on a boat and…- wait that’s not how it goes.

“This is our history. We can’t lose this fight.”

“But what would be the point of all this pain and sacrifice if I wasn’t willing to stand up and keep fighting?”

Training montage! I hope he doesn’t slice his fingers off on that shield yeesh. Also my Clint muse is watching those flips like oooooh the dude’s got moves on the ground too now, oh no.

Okay we get that the Flag Smashers are going for intimidation but the trope of the red lighting makes me laugh every time. Nobody is going to turn out the lights and then turn on a different set of conveniently red lights that probably weren’t normally installed in that building. Even emergency lighting wouldn’t look like that. It’s just funny, I dunno. And of course we get a cliffhanger ending.

Post-credits we get John’s new shield being built, and all I can say is 1) if he’s able to pound that out, clearly his new shield isn’t vibranium, and 2) LEARN HOW TO WELD NEATLY AUGH THAT WAS AWFUL XD

Overall thoughts: Good episode! Not a huge amount of plot furthering, aside from the very last bit, but good insight into characterization and believably building the relationship between Sam and Bucky while also reading into motivations and differing views from people who come from similar circumstances. I’m really enjoying the compare & contrast I’m getting to do between Isaiah and Bucky and Sam, because there are so many overlaps and stark differences between them. The first half also gave us some great headway into understanding John as a person, though it’s possible some of that is me overanalyzing because I have a muse for him.

[snarkwrites]

-- masterlist -- archived, 2020

[18+ advised ] This is going to be long af. I’m going to do my best to put everything - all my writing on this blog, in one goddamn place, but I make no promises, so forgive me in advance. Below the cut is everything I’ve written and posted, for every single fandom I’ve written for so far. If [mature] or [suggestive] is present in the title/post, 18+ only. If you’re looin for y/n here, you won’t really  find it. I prefer to use oc’s in writing most of the time because it’s easier for me.

** the titles in bold and not linked I either haven’t written or I’ve lost the link for. jsyk. I do that so that when/if I get around to writing something, it’s already got a place. It’s weird, I’m weird.**

If you want to be on the taglist for my writing, you can find that [here]. If you want to know what I write / how often I write and stuff like that, my faq/about post is [here]

--𝔸𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕟 ℍ𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕠𝕣 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪

[ 1984 ]

 xavier plympton - cherry popped | spring | mature.

--ℂ𝕊𝕀

[ Miami ]

eric delko - tba | fall/winter | mature.

tim speedle - perfect | spring | mature.

[ Vegas ]

greg sanders - tba | fall/winter | mature.

-- 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕧𝕖𝕝 ℂ𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕔 𝕌𝕟𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕖

[ Avengers ]

bucky barnes - slippery when wet | winter | mature.

captain america - choke me | winter | suggestive.

pietro maximoff - faster, baby | spring | mature.

[ Guardians Of The Galaxy ] 

starlord - eat me | spring | mature.

[ Venom ]

eddie brock - milf isn’t a bad word | spring | mature.

-- ℝ𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕕𝕒𝕝𝕖

archie andrews - tba | summer/fall | mature.

jughead jones - tba | summer/fall | mature.

reggie mantle - yours  | summer | mature.

sweet pea - selfish | summer | mature.

--𝕊𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕆𝕗 𝔸𝕟𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕙𝕪

juice ortiz - needed me | spring | mature.

--𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤

billy hargrove - tba | summer/fall | mature.

jonathan byers - surrender | summer | mature.

steve harrington - wet | summer | mature.

steve harrington - disaster | summer | mature.

--𝕊𝕦𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕝

dean winchester - tba | summer/fall | mature.

kevin tran - tba | fall / winter | suggestive.

sam winchester - tba | summer/fall | mature.

-- 𝕋𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥

embry call - tba | summer/fall | mature.

jacob black - found you | spring | mature.

paul lahote - tba | summer/fall | mature.

-- 𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕒𝕪 ℕ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕃𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤

matt saracen, remember you young by thomas rhett | angst & fluff / reunion

-- 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤

jonathan byers, i think i love you | fluff. two best friends admitting their feelings for each other. an au take on my oc pairing with Steve Harrington, so an au of an au oops rip.

steve harrington, blindsided | fluff and awkward cute first kisses,ftw.

-- 𝟙𝟚 ℝ𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕤 𝟛: 𝕃𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟

jon shaw - galentines / be my valentine - ex lovers, drinking tw, intense fluff.

-- 𝔸𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕟 ℍ𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕠𝕣 𝕊𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪

[ Apocalypse ]

michael langdon - moon dance - a witch and her dance under the moon captivates Michael Langdon. sexual tension, ftw.

-- 𝔸𝕣𝕣𝕠𝕨𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕖

[ Legends Of Tomorrow ]

ray palmer - back where you came from - time travel, mutual crushes

ray palmer - bachlorette party gone wrong or right - flirty first meeting at a bachelor party

ray palmer - villainesses want heroes - a good guy with a bad girl? more likely than you think. 

-- ℂ𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕝𝕖 ℝ𝕠𝕔𝕜

 dennis zalewski - photo booth montage - angst / hurt comfort, major character death & mourning, ghosts.

the kid / henry deaver - you were different - alternate universe personas reunite, intense makeout ensues.

--𝔻ℂ ℂ𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕔

[ Suicide Squad ] 

captain boomerang - expecting someone taller - first date / blind date.

-- 𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕒𝕪 ℕ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕃𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤

 landry clarke - if i only had a brain | someday my prince will come - tutor turned friend turned crush. kissing and stuff.

tim riggins - wedding bell blues | so this is love - a wedding brings two people closer and the end result is Riggins, settling down.

tim riggins - voice like honey - tim flirting with a new girl in Dillon? the chances are more likely than you think.

-- 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕧𝕖𝕝 ℂ𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕔

[ Avengers ] 

bucky barnes - girls,girls,girls - bucky’s omega likes to dance. and to offer herself up as bait. bucky doesn’t like this... intense heated conversation ensues.

captain america - no selfies in the bathroom please? - oh, nothing but Steve Rogers and an OC flirting over the phone. Innuendo towards the end if you squint.

[ Punisher]

 frank castle - patient of the week - patching up Frank isn’t the only thing she longs to do. A kiss is shared.

-- 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤

lip gallagher - wedding crasher | the nanny and the professor - lip and his girl and their ups and downs. They go from him crashing her wedding drunk to the two having a night of domestic bliss.. and a kid. mildly suggestive the second part is.

-- 𝕊𝕠𝕟𝕤 𝕆𝕗 𝔸𝕟𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕙𝕪

juice ortiz - crow flies | rough rider | treat you as good as my leather - snippets from the relationship between juice and my OC, Hazel Teller.

juice ortiz - glass houses | throwing stones - more from relationship between Juice Ortiz and Hazel Teller, tbh. 

-- 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤

billy hargrove - let the days go by - flashbacks to a first meeting as an OC mourns Billy’s supposed death post S3.

jonathan byers - should’ve been a better shot - Tommy H’s girlfriend (not Carol, an oc) is getting more than a little sick of being Tommy’s property. Kissing Jonathan Byers seems like a good way to end that and to let jonathan know that she likes him a lot. Fluff/humor, warnings of Tommy H being his usual asshole douchenozzle self.

steve harrington - glass houses | throwing stones, this is set in the now main au timeline I have for Steve Harrington and my original character Charlotte Granger.

-- 𝕊𝕦𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕒𝕝

crowley - the witching hour - just a father/daughter heart to heart with Poppy. family bonding ftw. [ goes with pop goes my heart tangentially]

dean winchester - pop goes my heart - poppy gets under his skin in all the wrong ways AND all the right ones. 

dean winchester - gingerbread family - the boys find themselves waking up to Christmas as a totally normal family. How will they react to the things they find themselves able to do at last?

sam winchester - heaven knows - his guardian angel only wanted to protect him. now she’s been banished to earth and she’s mortal. and they wind up flirting / getting closer.

sam winchester - candy apple kisses | gingerbread family - sam never forgot about her. maybe that’s why as a result of a wish he and dean may or may not have both made, he wakes up to find himself married to her.

-- 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕒𝕝𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔻𝕖𝕒𝕕

[ The following ones are all part of this huuuuge everchanging universe/storyline that I have with BOTH men, for my OC Evie. In some, she’s with Daryl, in others, Shane. They’re all wildly canon divergent and all over the place, lmao.]

daryl dixon - watch the world burn [married au] | a vision from a sugarplum fairy | garden by the sea  - a series of alternate takes / twists and moments between my OC Evie Grimes and Daryl Dixon.

shane walsh - scream queen [reunited lovers au] | sweet morning rose | you and your high horse - a series of alternate takes/twists and moments between my OC Evie Grimes and Shane Walsh.

-- 𝕋𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥

jacob black, one day more, angst | 

-- ℂ𝕣𝕚𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝕄𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕤

derek morgan x -being roommates with | 

-- 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕧𝕖𝕝 ℂ𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕔 𝕌𝕟𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤𝕖

sam wilson / falcon x - dating falcon | 

CSI MIAMI;

tim speedle [ d m y ] | [ b o u ] | [ c e k ] | j w x | l f | 

STAR WARS;

kylo ren [ k l r ] | 

CSI: Las Vegas;

t r o u b l e | greg sanders x Sidle!Sibling OFC, Belle | genres : suspense/action, romance / fluff, hurt comfort, angst, slow burn | chapters : [ one | two | three pt1| three pt2 | four | five | soundtrack: here | warnings: slow burn, attempted murder tw, murder mentions / crime mentions tw, eventual smut/sexual content tw, [ discontinued to be rewritten ]

CSI:Miami;

m i n e | tim speedle x former lover!OFC, Sylvie | genres : suspense/action, romance/fluff, hurt comfort, angst, slow burn | chapters : [ one two pt 1 two pt 2 three three pt 2 ] | soundtrack: here | warnings: slow burn, crime / stalker tw, other themes and eventual smut/sexual content tw, [discontinued to be rewritten]

Riverdale;

gangsta | sweetpea x Andrews!SiblingOFC, Alyssa | genres: teen angst - drama, suspense, hurt comfort, romance, slow burn | chapters: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten- eleven - twelve - thirteen - fourteen - | soundtrack: here | warnings: fighting / swearing, sexual tension, awkward situations & eventual smut.. your typical high school overdramatic bs. Bit of an au because I only plan to loosely follow the series. | [ discontinued to be rewritten ]

Sons Of Anarchy;

home | juice ortiz x Teller!OFC, Hazelynn | genres: action / suspense, hurt/comfort, angst, slow burn, romance, smut | chapters: one - two - three - | soundtrack: here | warnings: slow burn, heavy sexual tension, violence and other adult themes, alcohol / drugs / illegal activities, sex worker ofc tw, sexual content eventually | [ being rewritten to be reposted soonish ]

Stranger Things;

upside down | steve harrington x OFC, Jenny | genres: teen angst - drama, suspense, hurt comfort, friendship, fluff, action, | chapters: one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - | soundtrack: here | warnings: fighting / swearing, sexual tension, awkward situations & eventual smut... your typical high school drama + science fiction-y type misadventures,lmaoo. | [discontinued to be rewritten]

[kyber-crystal]

Undercover

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: ~2.6k

Summary: In which an undercover mission to catch a group of infamous HYDRA bosses has you ending up with much more than you bargained for. You were expecting to have several surprise thrown your way, but never would you have guessed this included discovering your true feelings towards a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed Captain.

Warning: horrible writing because this is an old oneshot, mentions of blood, slight!angst, fluff

A/N: the ending sucked and I apologize. and even the gif’s horrible quality couldn’t ruin his beautiful eyes omg asdlfjdl

"Party of four, under Chris Evans?" 

"This way, please."

You linked your arm through Steve’s and you, him, Clint, and Natasha followed the waitress to your tables right across from each other.

"You see them yet?" Natasha murmured into her wrist communicator as she placed the velvet-red napkin over her lap, covertly sliding her gun from her purse into her thigh holster, and you did the same once seeing her do this, slightly lifting up the edge of your shimmery, navy blue dress. "Y/N?"

"No..." you muttered as you observed your surroundings, unable to catch anything suspicious about the scene around you. "Clint?"

"Not yet," the archer replied, "Cap?"

"I don't think they've arrived yet..." Steve’s eyes narrowed as he glanced back towards the entrance. "We'll keep an eye out for 'em."

"Roger that."

"So, I heard the seafood pasta here is really good," Steve spoke up to break the awkward silence that had fallen between you since you'd been seated, "and the pizza."

"Not pineapple, right?" you raised an eyebrow at him as you took a sip of water, "If it's pineapple, I'm out."

"In case you're forgetting, this is an Italian restaurant, not Hawaiian," he reminded you. "So no, it's not pineapple pizza. That stuff's a big no for me."

"Are you kidding me?" Sam groaned into his mic as he sat around in the lounge with the others back at HQs. "You guys really suck at this stuff."

"What do you mean, Wilson," you sighed as you fiddled with your necklace. "Don't be weird."

"Is this really y'alls idea of flirting?" the Falcon scoffed. "You guys are supposed to pose as couples to divert attention from yourselves, not act like some twelve-year olds debating over whether pineapple belongs on pizza or not."

"Come on, kick things up a notch, will ya?" Pietro took the mic from Sam's hands, "Even Bucky could do better, and you know he's terrible at acting. Tony’s standing behind me right now, Y/N, and he says if you don't play your part he's eating all your toast when you get back."

"The agents haven't even arrived yet, Speedy," you rolled your eyes, "don't need to keep up my act when there's no one around to watch."

"Actually," Steve began, lightly nudging your foot underneath the table, "keep a close watch on that table of six up front. They're looking pretty suspicious. Nat, Clint, did you get that?"

"Yup," Clint replied, taking note of the six men, who all dressed in identical black suits at a round table across the room close to the entrance. "I see them."

"Play your part, lovebirds, play your part," the speedster reminded you. "Alright, I'm out."

"Clint, you get a scan on those guys?" you asked. "Rhodey wants us to send the data back as soon as we can."

"Doing it right now," he responded, pulling out a small tablet from Natasha's purse, "Nat, keep an eye on them. Something goes wrong, then you and Steve gotta back us up."

"Yeah, got it."

"Wait, hold on a second," Steve lowered his voice, "something's not right. Wasn't this place completely occupied just a few minutes ago?"

You looked up and realized that half the restaurant was now empty, the chairs where the men had been sitting at pushed in and plates left untouched. "Where the hell did they go?"

Just as you were beginning to come to your sense, the lights flickered on and off and a loud gunshot echoed off the walls, glass shattering and people frantically clamoring around as they hurried to grab their things and get out of the place.

You quickly stood up and slid your gun out of your thigh holster, loading it up as you grabbed the sleeve of Steve’s suit and tugged him around the corner to the kitchen.

"You guys okay?"

"Yeah. You and Nat?"

"We're fine. Keep an eye out for them. They're splitting up and calling others over; it won't be long 'till they all get here."

"Well," Steve breathed out, leaning against the wall to catch his breath, "what now?"

"What do you think? Take them down and try not to get killed in the process," you panted, undoing your updo and tying it into a high ponytail, "We've done things like this before. Now shut up, will you? They'll find us right away if you don't be quiet."

"Too late, they're gonna find us now," he rolled his shirt collar down and wrung out his hands, "and it's a dead end. We go out and we're surrounded."

"Shh," you put a finger to his lips, "they're coming."

"What do we do, then? I think they'll be pretty suspicious of two people trying to take cover under the tables.”

"I don't know!"

"Then what?"

"Promise me you're not gonna freak out," you gazed straight into his icy blue eyes as you heard footsteps echoing throughout the hallway. "Don't blow our cover."

"Okay? But what are you—"

"Just go with this," you muttered, and you took his face into your hands and pressed your lips to his. What you once thought were mere butterflies in your stomach had now erupted into that of hummingbirds rushing around your insides, with a feeling of electricity flowing through your veins. It's just an act, you reminded yourself, but even when you pulled away you swore your lips felt as if they were on fire. 

"Sergeant? Come in. You find them?"

"Negative," the man with the red tie spoke into his walkie-talkie as you and Steve pulled apart, breathless, "it's just a couple that had one too many drinks. They must've escaped. Sweep the nearby locations and the area outside, then report back to me."

"Yes, sir."

"How the hell am I supposed to fight in a floor-length dress," you muttered under your breath as you bunched up your dress in your hands and kicked off your heels, "damn, dressing up fancy is uncomfortable. Don't know how Tony does it."

"Glad I'm not a woman," Steve joked. "I don't have to put on a bunch of makeup whenever I go out."

"I did this," you gestured to your face, "against my own will."

He went over to the storage closet, pulling his shield out from underneath the rags. “Alright, let’s go get ‘em.”

“Where and when the hell did you - how did you get tha-”

Just as the man who'd come across the two of you was rounding the corner, you locked and loaded your gun, shooting him straight in the back of his head and he immediately slumped to the ground. 

"One down, five to go."

"Four," Steve interrupted as one agent attempted to go at him from behind, delivering a solid kick right to his solar plexus before slamming him to the wall. "You're brutal, Y/N."

"Well, you can't be nice to an organization that's attempting world domination, can you?" you shouted over the noise as a dozen more men filed in and began opening fire. "Get behind me!"

"I’m Captain America, I don't need your protection!" he yelled back as he swung his shield out, the vibranium soaring smoothly through the air before swiftly knocking down four men all at once. 

"Make your way out as soon as you can," Natasha stated, "we're taking the ones outside, then we gotta head back."

"Still handling them!" you grunted as an agent wrestled you into a tight headlock, pressing a small blade up against your neck. You're lucky that you're much smaller than him, so wriggling out of his iron grip is easier for you to do. 

Slamming your elbow against his chest to knock him down, you whip out your twin daggers and drive them into his abdomen, trying not to flinch when you yank them back out and blood splatters across the marble floors. 

You barely make it out the doors before you stumble and nearly trip over your own feet. Your vision starts blurring and you feel dizzy, and everything blurs together into one hazy mass. You can barely keep yourself upright for longer than a few seconds at a time before your legs give out underneath you. 

Steve quickly catches you before you can sink to the ground, scooping you up into his arms and carrying you to the car.

The rest of the ride back to the compound is dead silent. Earlier you'd been too wrapped up in trying to not get yourself killed to fully let the kiss with Steve sink in, but now it had come crashing down all at once. 

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, "for what I did back there. I didn't mean it."

"It's okay," he murmured as you leaned into him and rested your head against his chest.

He tries to ignore the sparks that shoot up his body at the feeling of your body leaning into his, and the way your lips felt so perfectly molded to his because it was done to throw the agents off your backs, and he's not supposed to feel anything more for you. 

He tries to ignore how his heart breaks just a little at the fact you didn't think of it as any more than an act.

But he brushes the thought off. Because Captain America isn’t supposed to catch feelings for his teammate. He especially cannot fall in love with his best friend, as that would be unprofessional and go against all the rules he previously set out for himself - which were to avoid loving someone as more than a simple friend as much as possible. 

...

You let out a sigh as you slide your dress over your head, standing in the shower and letting the hot water run over your body, staying in there for a bit longer than normal before deciding to step out. You change into a pair of sweatpants and someone’s sky blue hoodie, before heading downstairs to the lounge. 

"Wow, so you're indeed alive," Thor comments as you pour yourself a latte and sit down on the couch, wrapping yourself up in a fleece blanket. "And surprisingly, not beat up."

"You got stabbed in the eye before, so you're not one to talk," you sassed. 

"Lady Y/N, I would not appreciate it if you came back in a body bag or something. I very much need you around because I live off your snickerdoodle supply."

You scoffed. "Oh, that's the only reason why we're friends?"

"It most certainly is not! You are a wonderful woman..."

"Liar."

"I'm going to go upstairs and beat Sir Samuel's ass in Mario Kart for the second time, so you can get the TV here to yourself. You may watch all the rom-coms you want," the Norse god stretched his arms in the air and stood up. 

"I don't watch rom-coms. I Love Lucy was the only exception, and that was because I was bored and Steve was the only one who was free last Saturday afternoon."

"Alright," he replied before going upstairs. 

You lean back against the couch and throw an arm across your face. The memory of kissing Steve keeps replaying in your mind over and over and over again, and as much as you'd like to forget it, a part of you doesn't want to, because despite the inconvenience of the situation, it still felt so perfect. You swore your lips were still burning from it.

His lips that were so soft and warm against your own, the way he gently held you as if you were something fragile, the way he made you feel. 

"Well, you look rather depressed and unhappy," you heard Steve comment as he came up to you from behind. "You alright?"

"Totally," you replied in a sarcastic tone as you stood up, throwing the blanket off yourself and coming around the sofa to stand in front of him. "You need something, Rogers?"

No," he stuffed his hands in his pockets, "I just wanted to check up on you and see if you were okay."

You exhale, and you lean forward and put your forehead on his chest, allowing yourself to get lost in him for a moment, lost in the way he made you feel despite all your efforts to try and do the exact opposite. You didn't let your arms go around him like they so badly wanted to. You didn't let the rest of your body melt into him or even your cheek find its way against the soft cotton of his shirt because you knew if you took things a step further, you'd fall in too deep and would cross the line.

"I'll only need a moment. I'm not planning on staying like this forever," you mumble. "I just needed some company."

He chuckles and wraps his strong arms around you. "It's okay, I have plenty of time. There's no need to rush."

Steve pulls you closer, but your arms were still crossed over your chest to create a necessary barrier between the two of you. You remembered telling him once that there was no better feeling in the world than having the right person holding you in their arms, and it was true. Hearing his breath in your ear, his warm breath falling against your neck, feeling the steadiness of his heartbeat against you, and the warmth of his body seeping into your sent a tingle down your spine. He bent down so that his head filled in the space next to yours, settling against the crook of your neck.

You decide to just swallow your protests for a bit and ignore the wild thoughts racing rapidly around inside your head. You don't want to remember what had happened earlier. You don't want to remember the past nor what was to come in the future. You just wanted to stay in the present with no other cares or worries in the world. And for the briefest of moments, your wish seemed to come true.

But then you come to your senses and realize what exactly you're doing, pushing your arms against him and he releases his hold, though he does so hesitantly. This wasn’t right. You were acting like a complete child - in front of Steve, for all that matter.

You wiped at your cheeks with your sleeves. "Thanks, but I think I'm okay now."

"Y/N, if this is about earlier..."

"I don't know why, but I can't stop thinking about it," you mumbled, wrapping your arms around him again, "I keep telling myself it was just for a mission, that if I pretend I don't have feelings then maybe it won't hurt as much to have my heart broken."

“You don’t need to pretend,” he said quietly, “if I feel the same way.”

"What do you—"

He cuts you off by sliding a hand up to the back of your neck and pulling you to him, his lips gently pressing against yours once again. But it feels more relaxed, more natural than the last time you'd done it several hours ago. Nonetheless you still get that electric feeling, the feeling of fireworks exploding in your body and fire lighting up and running through your veins upon his touch, your heart racing at what feels like a million miles per hour as he rests his hands against your hips and yours go to the sides of his face. 

"That was better," he breathes out as you pull apart, and you can't help from cracking a small grin. 

"It was."

"Don't be a cockblock," Bucky growled as he gripped Sam's forearm, preventing him from bursting into the lounge. "Leave them alone for once. They deserve a break."

"Like you aren't one, either."

“Y’all are damn children!” Sam shouted from the hallway. “Act your age! Thirty-something year-olds don’t act like this!”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut it, Wilson.”

“Eh. I ship it, anyway.”