#but i’m not gonna do that bc there’s a whole production team and also viewing metrics

[thepotatofrog]

anybody know where i can pay to watch a movie where most of the money is actually going to the creators instead of the platform? i’m so fucking done with netflix and everything else but there’s some things where i just really really want to support the creators

[badatusernames]

CHOJI, SHIKAMARU, LEE, GAARA & HINATA!! ITS A LOT IM SORRY

THANK U FOR THIS...admittedly some answers may be a lil short just so i can like. Get to them all.

EDIT: IDK WHY IT LOOKS LIKE THIS. IM SO TIRED. IM SORRY ITS JUST A LONGASS NARUTO POST ON YOUR DASH I TRIED MY FUCKIN BEST YALL

SEND ME A CHARACTER AND I’LL DO THIS;

Chouji (man i’ve seen it spelled both ways and i’m just used to typing Chouji at this point sorry)

Sexuality Headcanon: Pansexual!!  Gender Headcanon: Cis male A ship I have with said character: SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARU. SHIKAMARUUUU, my god...just, everything about their dynamic makes my heart melt, the way they’re both people who are easily dismissed by others and how they have such UNFALTERING FAITH in each other. chouji knows how much of a genius shikamaru is, knows very well the fact that despite his laziness, once he commits to something he’s in it for the LONG HAUL, the way shikamaru just believes so steadfastly in chouji, considering him stronger than NEJI FOR FUCKS SAKE...they like. get one another, the kind of relationship where you can be yakking away one minute and then just sitting in contented silence the next. they can just laze around. maybe play video games and snack. and sometimes...kiss. and it’s so chill even with that latent tenderness their later relationship develops and they both just feel so safe and KNOWN and familiar like. love your best friend. anyway everyone slept on shikacho and y’all should be ashamed the naruto fandom is enormous and finding pretty much ANY content for it is almost impossible aside from the small (if lovely and amazing) tag and i’m pretty hyperfixated on it if you couldn’t tell holy SHIT.  A BROTP I have with said character: i’m really not a fan of ino taking potshots at him for his weight and outright shaming him, but once she grows out of that i absolutely love their friendship. listen, you know that post thats like--hold on

thats just them, thanks. A NOTP I have with said character: i have nothing against karui but canon is fucking dead to me and my opinions on p much all the “endgame” ships range from utterly neutral to absolute loathing. their relationship is on neither end of the spectrum, but. eh. definitely not into it. A random headcanon: he keeps nursing injured animals back to health because he’s just that fucking sweet and bringing them back to his house to keep them warm and safe while they recover and his team knows vaguely about this and ino and shikamaru like to poke fun at him for it but since they don’t tend to encounter said animals, it’s not really a huge deal.

of course they stop by his house one day bc he hadn’t shown up for training which is annoying and frankly a little concerning and finding the house mostly empty ino just bursts on into chouji’s room only to immediately have the opossum he’s been caring for latch its little paws on her face and cling.

it’s a bad morning. General Opinion over said character: literally one of my absolute favorites of all time and it really breaks my heart how overlooked he is in the fandom (seriously y’all...). i think kishimoto is kind of a stupid hack and the Fat Jokes are really grating and it sucks to see that so intrinsically tied to his character (like. just let him be fat. jesus christ) but his kindness and overall relaxed, loyal and lovable nature has me just melting. i adore him. 

Shikamaru

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s gay, scoob. (I could also talk a lot about how his earlier misogyny is both a product of being a whiny tween and also some internalized frustration of like WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT GIRLS. UGH. I DONT. STOP TELLING ME IM GONNA FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE ONE DAY DAD JESUS. and let’s be real, thats frustrating, even if it aint an excuse)  Gender Headcanon: he uses he/him pronouns because it’s just what he’s used to and comfortable with but man gender is such a drag... A ship I have with said character: SEE ABOVE SHIKACHO RANT A BROTP I have with said character: naruto! he and naruto have a really adorable friendship and i love love LOVE that he and chouji were shown to be kind and accepting of him even when most people were shunning him. also he’s so fucking dumb i love seeing shikamaru meticulously plan out something only to have naruto shriek into battle and ruin all of it. love those guys. stupid bros.  A NOTP I have with said character: ok. im sorry i just. loathe sh*katema i really do. i haaaate the way kishimoto writes this whole “ew a GIRL” “ew a MAN” vibe with the like OOOH BUT THEYRE GONNA LIKE EACH OTHER vibe like. 

don’t get me wrong i adore them as friends, i think they’re fantastic scathing and witty pals who bitch about anything and everything including each other

but they’re also both gay and kishimoto can suck my nuts byeeee A random headcanon: sometimes pakkun just fucking Shows up and chills with him. shikamaru wants absolutely no part of this but is way too lazy to like. do anything about it so it’s just this guy and a dog sitting in a field chillin and occasionally him piping up like ‘hey kid. remember when i bit your hand? yeah? haha, man time sure does fly.” while shikamaru is just. go aWAY.   General Opinion over said character: if you told 9 year old me watching naruto for the first time my favs were gonna be a three way tie of lee, shikamaru and chouji i never would have fucking believed you but here we are. i love him. i absolutely love him. he’s such a whiny bastard and a really good depiction of burnout genius who doesnt want to do ANYTHING, but his intellect is an absolute DELIGHT to watch. i love him very much. 

Lee

Sexuality Headcanon: he’s pan!! this is a boy that crushes easily and crushes hard on just about anyone!!!! Gender Headcanon: cis male A ship I have with said character: ok i ship him a lot with neji actually? what with how neji grows during the course of the series to regard lee with the respect he deserves is really sweet and there’s just something so infinitely adorable about him going around being the hammiest, most ridiculously earnest, kind and enthusiastic person and neji, now that he isn’t constantly bitter and angry at the world can finally really see that? lee is always happily dropkicking his way into his life, like he wouldn’t have it any other way, and i think that’s just...so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: SAKURAAAAA. oh my GOD do i adore their relationship. ever since lee saved her and basically just gave her a glimpse of his...lee-ness, the fact her negative opinion of him IMMEDIATELY flipped and gave her such a strong admiration and fondness for him kills me DEAD. she always treats him with so much respect and the fact she’s quick to rag on anyone making fun of him melts my HEART!! and on lee’s side, his little crush on her is adorable of course, but the sheer strength of the friendship that comes from it is more than infatuation could ever offer him. i want them to hang out together and talk about their troubles...i want them to make each other laugh and be so very kind to each other...i want sakura to storm over and throw him over her shoulder to TAKE A BREAK ALREADY when he’s been training too hard for too long. god. A NOTP I have with said character: honestly i’m pretty happy with a lot of lee ships! the only ones i view with obvious disdain are the ones with creepy age gaps honestly. A random headcanon: out of everyone in the leaf genin, he’s probably the closest anyone’s ever come to someone who EVERYONE is at least distantly friendly towards. like god have you SEEN how warm and inviting and concerned he is the SECOND he sees that naruto is feeling down? i get the sense he’s immediately inclined to provide that kind of support to any of his comrades, even the ones that Resist it.

you think sasuke is the most popular among the leaf genin? puh-LEASE. everyone looks on rock lee with at least a LITTLE bit of warmth. thats just fact. General Opinion over said character: since my first viewing of naruto he has been my Absolute fav, and while chouji and shikamaru are veeery close to stealing that spot, one look at him and i feel he’s gonna be on top forever. probably the best written character kishimoto’s ever produced that’s remained in  the main cast (tho i dont speak for shipudden onwards who fucking knows, but the truth of it is is i adore rock lee)

Gaara

Sexuality Headcanon: Panromantic Asexual Gender Headcanon: kind of like shikamaru, i feel like he uses he/him pronouns but also doesn’t particularly....Care? A ship I have with said character: ok so it wasnt until my naruto rewatch that i really started falling into this but i think him and naruto are super cute? while i loathe kishimoto for ruining so much abt this show he really is good at creating good foils to naruto, and gaara is no exception--and the way naruto changes his life by just kicking his ass (and proving he’s not just a Simp or smth) and then just, extending genuine empathy and a REAL sense of truly relating to where he’s coming from re:his upbringing? the EFFECT it has on him, bro!!!! my god!!! i feel like they’re that opposites attract ship that don’t clash constantly but instead fall into this adorable synergy and understanding? and i think thats so sweet A BROTP I have with said character: ...is it cheating to just put temari and kankuro here? bc they are literally his siblings but my GOD do i love their relationship. there’s something so deeply sad about their initial situation??? like having siblings that either are deeply fucking afraid of you or clearly don’t care for your well being whatsoever, it’s such a tragic scenario, and the times where they really do show legitimate care for gaara just breaks my heart...but the GROWTH. THE DEVELOPMENT. THE HEALING. i love the sand siblings so much, i am a STRONG advocate of seeing the development from estranged family to loving, occasionally bickering siblings who absolutely Love Each Other A NOTP I have with said character: uhhhh same with lee in that i don’t really mind most of the ships i’ve seen him in? while i don’t particularly ship gaalee i think its also Very Cute, and really it all just seems pretty valid as long as people aren’t being creepy? A random headcanon: i’ve been wracking my brain for one for a good 20 minutes and i just don’t have one he’s such a mystery to me/????? i love him but he is an enigma?? General Opinion over said character: oh my god he’s such an edgelord in the beginning. i’ve been doing a lot of this naruto rewatch with my friend @drashseed (a simply phenomenal fella 10/10 follow him) and every single time he talked the only valid response just became “ok gaara”

but his backstory? utterly HEARTWRENCHING. and his growth is just. absolutely divine, i adore him. thank you mister sandman for doing so much for us all.

Hinata

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual Gender Headcanon: cis woman A ship I have with said character: listen. i think kibahina is........Really Really cute. he cares about her so MUCH??? and there’s a certain tenderness to his interactions with her that’s just really evident whenever you see em together? i really love that you get the sense hinata is COMFORTABLE around him!!! like! i feel like hinata really deserves to have a partner who sees her when she ISN’T blushing and stammering? when she’s like? legitimately comfortable and being HERSELF? (dgmw the blushing is adorable i fucking love her but its one of the gripes i have with naruhina that so much of it is just naruto being oblivious and her having a small panic attack) the comfort she and kiba have make for a chill, adorable relationship i just cry over constantly A BROTP I have with said character: so i was GONNA put naruto here, but technically i already put him there for shikamaru’s so i’m gonna say neji!!! uhhh OBVIOUSLY they got off to a. very rough start but the way their dynamic changed (or perhaps in a way reverted back to the times they interacted before neji’s father died and temporarily killed his Human Decency) into this respect and fondness that’s just...such a delight to watch? i’m a SUCKER for slow and mutual reconciliation and there are just so many sweet moments between them. they are FAMILY, BRO!!! THEY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, BRO!!!!!!!!!! A NOTP I have with said character: ...at the risk of sounding like a broken record, i think a lot of hinata ships are quite cute? i guess i’m gonna have to say sasuke. because like.

has. he ever even looked at her. please. jesus christ. she deserves so much better. A random headcanon: she is a LOT physically stronger than she looks!! a lot of her combat techniques rely on taijustu after all so it’d make sense that she puts a lot of effort into physical training alongside chakra control.

i’m trying to say she’s strong. not as strong as sakura but. she can lift her bf up over her head (he’s dying hes dying he’s dYING he lOVES HER SO MUCH). it’s pretty fuckign badass

General Opinion over said character: i LOVE her??? honest to god i really really do--honestly while i dislike the direction they went in canon with her, i really loved seeing her be motivated to grow and change the parts of herself she hated to become a stronger person.

that and she’s so fucking cute and sweet and i just??????? bless her honestly.

[swtchaeos]

Atots Final Overall Thoughts

I have had a few days to think and breathe after finishing the show so i'm back to write my "whole serie overall" section because it does deserve one so i can come back on some stuff and add more. I've taken a few notes through the days when i remembered particular elements i wanted to discuss in this. It will be long, i will try my best to make it feel organized but i can't promise it will be mostly because my thoughts are messy. This won't probably be chronological as the past reactions were but i'll try my best to make it make somewhat sense, if not well excuse me.

I'll get started with production, location and everything scenery related that needs to be adressed, that i really haven't talked about much before (my apologies). All the production choices on location were so beautifully made and it's part of the view series that just get you to completely dive in into that world just from scenery. The Pha Pun Dao village and all those chosen locations like the Pha Pun Dao Hill or the waterfall, as it becomes a place of growth for Tian and a place he can call home, it becomes for the viewer a place they get attached to. Those roads, the school, the hill, the waterfall, all feel by the end of the show places you know and feel the warmth of. So many shots of the village are engraved into my brain because of how beautiful they were. The view from the hill just takes your breath away and makes you feel small and amazed at the beauty of the world when you are just watching on a laptop screen on your couch or bed. I've dived into that little village world, got attached to the people and to the place itself and by the end of it, when Tian left, it felt like i was leaving that place i had never been in and still somehow felt sad i wouldn't get to see that again. Every part of it felt really genuine and you can see through it the intend of the producers, directors and overall the work of all the team through the shots and atmosphere of the show. Did it make me want to go there ? Yes. Will i end up going ? Probably not. Will i make up for it by making sure i have at least one looking up at the stars, counting them and talking date in my lifetime ? (yes it's close enough to me) Absolutely (once i find anyone up for it).

I feel like going on from the village and scenery i have to know acknowledge characters and actors starting with talking once again about Tian's character development. If there is one thing i have been pleasantly surprised with, it's Tian's growth and journey. It's a journey to self-worth, happiness, forgiveness in himself and i'm certain that reflects and parallels to Mix's actor journey given it was his acting debut. I have spoken plenty of time about his growth, the way he acknowledged his feelings and doubts, made sure to express them and was able to find happiness, prosperity and good health (especially mental health) through the love and unity of that place he's able to call home by the end of the show. I have to admit i really wasn't sure about his character at the beginning of the show but the way they handled his development and growth made it worth the wait.

Phupha on the other hand still has stuff to work on. You can feel he'll still have to learn and grow within himself to be able to find a middle ground between his words and his actions. Despite everything, the last episode still showed him protective of himself and the people he cares for, which isn't bad but still showed contradictions between what he was saying and the way he was acting. I got less attached to the character of Phupha than of Tian's because of the way it's written. There are things about his personality and actions i don't particularly agree with but it doesn't make him awful. Phupha's character has depth and is hard to understand. We have seen that from the misunderstanding going on, but he didn't really have the opportunity to grow and evolve his mindset in the serie meaning he stayed true to himself even at the end, which really contrasts with how much of a development Tian got.

Going onto Phutian as a couple. Those two definitely have chemistry, there is no doubt. If you've read all my reactions you know how much i talked about the cliché aspect of their relation at the very beginning. The passing out and getting caught in the arms of the other, the intense stares that go on for way too long, the coming up behind the other to help him do something (tie the mosquito net here) or the "hold me tight" moment on the motorbike, honestly starting with all those romance clichés i was genuinely scared about being able to acknowledge their relation as cute and genuine when most we were fed was romance clichés. But those two genuinely developped a bond and had chemistry through the playful "fights" and smirks, or heartfelt conversations, their chemistry doesn’t come from those romance drama clichés but it was more them aside of that that really convinced me there was more to it. Despite the whole "it's my duty" drama, it was obvious that they both care for each other but that Phupha's ways of expressing are more intricate which added to the communication issues make the whole ups and downs of their relationship. What would have been great though is giving more dimension and acknowledging the differences in their love languages. You can clearly see the characters have different love languages and that Phupha's is the root of his tendency to protect himself as well as protecting people around him. This was more subtle and i feel implied but it's also a source of confusion and what brought conflict to Phutian's relationship and did not really get resolved.

I want to quickly mention how much i appreciate that Tian's growth and happiness did not come entirely from Phupha but more from the place and everyone he was surrounded by, as well as himself. I hate the whole dependance trope so i was happy it wasn't huge part of that, as much as side characters tried to push it onto the couple.

As i'm talking Phutian but props need to be given to EarthMix for bringing them to life the way they did. The chemistry between them was splendid. Also i'll touch on it now because i'm talking acting skills but those damn eyeshift and microexpressions were everything. When, during the first episodes, i was very much not convinced by the intense stares, i found them more and more endearing by the end of it because of Phutian's eyeshifts when staring at each other. Those made me feel both so single and warmed my heart very much. I said it in the reactions but i'm not one to notice people's eyes especially not first thing. But those eyeshifts made it so that my attention was brought to their eyes and as much as i don't believe in the "i could see it in their eyes" a lot was conveyed through those.

If i was to talk about all characters in details in that show i’d still be here in 10k words and i don’t think that’s great so i’ll just say that the whole cast was amazing, so good and that no i don’t forgive Dr. Nam.

Briefly, I need to mention my villain origin story : not even one acknowledgement of Phupha, Yod, Rang and Dr. Nam that they knew about Torfun’s death to the village. I would guess they did it "off screen" in a way if it was a real village but for the show not to get that acknowledgment was to me a big deal. Tian acknowledged his mistake of not saying it and payed the price for it even holding too much responsibility on himself. Both Phupha and Tian made that mistake here of not telling anyone, out of fear and love, out of fear then love. And not once, not once are we seeing Phupha acknowledge he made the mistake too. Thats probably one of the reasons i hold disappointment on the growth of Phupha’s character. Tian miscommunicated bc of his view of himself, his self worth being at its lowest in reason to the responsibility of the death he felt, that’s understandable. Phupha didn’t act on Tian’s words right away saying he knew too because of that added factor of feeling betrayed, and learning the man he loves "killed" the woman he sees as a sister, that’s understandable. I also completely get that Phupha and the three others didn’t tell the village right away, as they were grieving, holding onto one’s shoulder the responsibility of announcing a family member’s death (basically family) is a lot. But not giving Phupha a redemption arc in the eyes of the village and for Tian, feels to me like a treason. I know i’m only saying Phupha in here but i also am not forgetting the implication of Rang, Yod and Dr. Nam. Just one scene. That’s all i was asking for. One scene of redemption to make people understand that they all made mistakes.

Going back to stuff i talked about before because it needs to be brought up again, BGM and OST. Phenomenal. It played such a huge part in the show. And not only the OST or the music that’s part of the story. That BGM all throughout the show was splendid and i can genuinely say it’s probably what made me fall for the show. I know, bold statement there because seeing how long this post is getting, there is a lot that is amazingly done in that show. The music was just THAT great.

As for predictability that i touched upon in past reactions it wasn’t that bad that i knew everything that was gonna happen in the show, i’m not that much of a psychic to guess the whole story. But with what you are given throughout the show, it is quite easy to figure out the way the show is heading. I made numerous calls (out loud to myself, while watching, what about it) and maybe one wasn’t right. Out of the whole show. Maybe i have watched too many shows, am able to catch on hints quickly or maybe it’s cause in the back of my head i knew i was gonna write-react to it so stayed really focused. All in all it was slightly predictable and i’m pretty sure the producers and writers give loads of hints and details so that the story makes sense. Overall yes, i was able to guess a lot of how it would unravel which as someone that loves being right made me happy. But i do also like when shows are slightly less predictable so that he catches me off guard.

Also the substory/sidestory was amazing.

i’ll wrap things up here i think i said a lot. Was the best show ever written ? Certainly not (sorry). Do i still find some stuff wrong about it ? Sadly yes. But do i think it’s a great step and still liked it ? Absolutely.

It was different. It is a step in the right direction, away from the toxicity in relationships, awful plot lines and underlying homophobia. I’ve said it plenty of times before but this show was so human-like which made it so touching especially when you’re a human with a lot of empathy. The emotions, the mistakes, the self-worth,... so much you can relate and get attached to. I like to sigh about communication issues but i can’t deny it’s such a human thing and engraved in our society trait not to communicate enough or correctly. But seeing a show showcasing growth and progress in communicating is what i want to see. Stuff is lacking yes but so much is great that it can’t go un-ackowledged. So overall, would i recommend a tale of thousand stars ? Definitely.

And Oli, thank you.

[amaranthprincess21]

As the Curtain Falls

Rating: M Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Pairing: Vil/Reader (Eventually >:3c) Synopsis: As summer approaches, you look for a job on El Capitan: Twisted Wonderland's version of Broadway. Getting into a show is the chance of a lifetime, but as rehearsals go on, the flaws of the show and its production team slowly come to light. The ship you're on is burning and there's no way of backing out. You will have to make the best of things and deal with the drama that comes your way. And here comes Vil, your co-star, making things more complicated as the two of you become closer during rehearsals.

A/N: okay so I need to make some things explicit: 1) Although this going to heavily riff on LND, a lot of experiences that are in this fic are experiences I had while acting and a lot of this fic is honestly just me trying to make sense of some of the weird shit I went through. A bad sequel musical is really just the setting and I doubt any of this stuff actually happened during LND production so don't like, look into too much? I just wanna bitch about acting drama I went through years ago and also make some jokes about LND. I'll most likely talk about those experiences more in author notes so I guess look forward to that? 2) also i'm sorry if you genuinely like LND bc I will be making fun of it a lot. And also Phantom like I'm a fan but I'm def gonna roast it 3) For reals tho, I don't know if this is going to be slow burn or not so alskjdfahsd

----

The moment I stepped into the large rehearsal space, a sense of dread and excitement washed over me. The space looked like a small warehouse more than anything else. Large props or set pieces (I couldn’t tell) were pushed towards the back of the room. One whole wall was full of mirrors. I wasn’t the first one here, thank God. But seeing just how many people were in the room was… not reassuring. Along one wall there was a long table set up and several people were seated behind it. It had to be the investors and the production team. 

Man, I was really in over my head, wasn’t I? My callback would be getting judged by ten people and I was up against so many people. But then again, I should’ve expected this. This wasn’t some school musical: this was the Broadway of Twisted Wonderland. Everything was bigger here and the stakes were higher. I needed to make sure I was perfect. I needed this job. I needed this role. 

A few people were already warming up, stretching on the ground. Okay, let’s be social. After all, these might be my new coworkers. I tried to exude friendliness and confidence as I went over to the group, saying hi and introducing myself, but I just wanted to throw up. More people trickled in and every time the door opened, I found myself looking over. Some joined us in warming up, others went behind the table. 

“So, what’s your background?” a tall redhead woman asked. My head whipped to look at the group to see everyone staring right at me, expectantly.

“Oh, uh, I don’t have much of one, to be honest. I did musical theater in school, but this is my first professional audition,” I told them.

“Really? Congrats on making it to callbacks, then!” someone said. I wasn’t sure if it was genuine or a snide remark. 

“T-Thanks.” Might as well err on the side of niceness. “What’s your guys’ backgrounds?”

“I’ve only ever done ensemble before, so this is my first time being called back for a principal role,” one said. As they all started talking about their backgrounds, the door opened again and I instinctively looked. I had to do a double take as Vil walked in, joining the others behind the table. 

“Am I seeing that right?!” the brunette next to me demanded, elbowing me. “Is that Vil Schoenheit?!”

“That, or we’re having the same hallucination,” I told her. It wasn’t like I was friends with him or anything, but I didn’t know he liked musical theater. I thought he was just a model with some TV guest star credits. But then again, I didn’t know him. We just saw each other during prefect meetings with Headmaster Crowley. But I think Jack mentioned one time he was wealthy. Maybe he’s investing in the show? I mean, it’s that or he’s a part of the production team.

“Well, this just got way more interesting,” she commented. I glanced back over to the table. Vil seemed deep in conversation with the other auditioners. Yeah, interesting seemed like a good fit. An older man with a bright teal tie stood up from behind the table and clapped his hands. All conversation died and we all looked at him.

“Welcome to the callbacks for Romance is Immortal. You’ve all done well to make it this far. But sadly, only a few of you will make it into the cast,” he said. Way to pile the pressure on. “We’ll start with the sides and song we emailed you. We’ll call you in as small groups. The holding room is through that door.” He pointed and wordlessly, a few actors got up and made their way over. 

Okay, this was happening. This was really happening. The callback was starting. The brunette helped me to my feet and as I walked to the holding, I stole another glance at the panel. Vil’s sharp amethyst eyes caught mine. He gave me a small nod. This was weird. This was so weird. To think Vil would be judging my audition was a strange one. Would things stay this weird if I got the role? Would it be weirder if I didn’t? 

The holding room was fairly spacious and I found a spot by the water cooler. One of the auditioners was at the door, calling a few names already. The auditioner and actors left and the door shut behind them. Quiet conversation started up, filling the room. I pulled my phone out of my bag and saw a few texts from Ace and Deuce, telling me to break a leg. Those poor guys. I’d dragged them along on this journey and sang so much in our hotel room that Ace left to get noise cancelling headphones at one point. It wasn’t the most reassuring thing, even if he told me he just got them because he couldn’t hear his video game audio. But I knew he wasn’t really into musical theater. Deuce wasn’t either, but his mom loved musicals so he at least was willing to try and sing opposite me for prepping this callback piece. That was awkward. I never want to act like we have sexual tension ever, ever again.

I texted them back, thanking them and asking how sightseeing was going. I opened Magicam to see if they posted anything. They hadn’t put anything up yet, but Vil did. He had some vague things on his story. Showing he clearly wasn’t at Night Raven College, getting a smoothie this morning, basic things like that. I started scrolling through his profile, wondering if I’d find any past work of his on there. Mostly it was just selfies and modeling pictures. He really was pretty. Beautiful, even. Unfairly so. A notification popped up on my phone; a text message from Deuce, saying they were at an observation tower taking in the views. I really wish I could’ve seen that with them, but I had a job to get. Maybe if I got this role and got a place here, I could go sometime.

I waited and waited and waited for what felt like hours, although my phone said it was just a half hour. The first group returned and the assistant called out a few more names. My stomach lurched as my name was called. Trying not to shake, I stood up and followed him and a few others out to the main audition space. The room looked so much bigger without all the actors there. The assistant motioned for us to sit on the sidelines against the mirrored wall. As I sat down, I glanced over to Vil again, only to see him getting up. Was he leaving?

“We’ll start with auditioning our potential Opera Ghosts and Carolines. We’ll be double-casting these roles,” the man in the teal tie told us. “We’ve already had Mr. Schoenheit sign on as our main Opera Ghost -” Huh?! He was already in the show?! Was there another audition session I missed? Something about this unnerved me and I couldn’t place my finger on it. Sure, it was unusual, but I couldn’t tell why it was bothering me so. 

The man in the teal tie called out a name and a woman stood up, joining Vil in front of the auditioner’s table. I looked down at my script, reading through the lines again. I didn’t really need to; I was a fast learner and Deuce and I had gone over this enough times for me to remember it. But it was nice to stare at something that wasn’t other people.

Nerves were starting to eat at my stomach. The other actress sounded so good. Was I really cut out for this? I mean, I’d be thankful for any role in this show, but what if I bombed this so badly I wasn’t cast at all? 

… No. I couldn’t think like that. I had to get this job. I had to. I just needed to put everything I had into this. Nerves or awkwardness be damned. If I didn’t get this job, I wouldn’t have the money to get a place to stay this summer. I’d be homeless. Grim would be homeless. If I blew it, it wouldn’t be just me that would suffer. I needed to get this role at any cost.

I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself as one by one, each actress went up and read with either Vil or another man. I listened to the notes the auditioners gave, watched the way each actress portrayed Caroline, decided what choices I could make. I needed to keep a level head. I needed to destroy the competition. 

Suddenly, my name was called out as someone returned to sit with us. A deep breath. I could do this. I could do this. I got up and walked to where Vil was standing. I wasn’t sure if reading with someone I was acquainted with was going to be the most comfortable, but whatever. 

“Are you off-book on the sides?” A woman from behind the table asked. 

“I am,” I replied. She grinned.

“Go ahead and stow your script under the chaise lounge, then,” she instructed me. I gently tossed it under the lavish chaise right behind Vil and I. She was writing something down when I looked up; a majority of them were. My stomach was starting to knot itself again as I waited for the go-ahead.

“Hey.” Vil’s voice in my ear made me flinch. I looked at him. Up close, he was ever more beautiful, more beautiful than any photo could capture. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

“Huh? Yeah, it’s totally fine. Is it all right if I touch you?” I asked back. 

“Don’t mess up my hair or makeup,” he replied. 

“If you set your makeup right, that shouldn’t be a problem,” I said, grinning. He raised an eyebrow and I couldn’t decipher the look on his face. He was amused or pissed. One of those.

“All right, places!” the man in the teal tie called. Vil and I hurried to our spots, him on the chaise lounge and me just off to the side. I tried to channel Caroline, the heroine of the show. “Begin scene!”

After the sudden disappearance of the Opera Ghost, my mentor, I’d found his hiding place. I barged in, breathless, relieved that I’d found him. Yet, despite my joy, I was unsure, no, in denial about the true reason I wanted to find him. He shot up from his seat, shock written on his face.

“I…” The situation was hitting me. What could I say to him after everything that had happened? “I’ve found you.”

“So you have.” Cautious. He moved behind the chaise, keeping it between us. “Why are you here? To bring a mob to me?”

“No,” I breathed. I couldn’t bear the thought of him being hurt. “I don’t want you to be hurt.”

“Even after everything I did?” he demanded. Slowly, I started to move toward him.

“Even then.” I reached out to grab his hand, but in a flash, he moved away from me. My hand slowly fell back to my side.

“You have always been too kind for your own good,” he said softly. “...  I am not worthy of your kindness.”

“Don’t say that!” I cupped his face with my hands, praying my touch could convey my feelings for him. “You are deserving of love…” He smirked, his fingers brushing against my cheek. The touch made my heart race. I leaned into him.

“Do you really believe so?” he asked with a smirk.

The music began, the keyboard blaring. The heavy notes filled my blood and I could only imagine how it would sound with a full orchestra. Vil’s honeyed voice filled the air and I had to fight back surprise. Who knew he could sing? His hand slipped into mine, leading me around the room. His words dripped with innuendo and the walls around my heart were falling. Although I was to be wed soon, I fell under the Ghost’s spell. 

Soon, he wasn’t just leading me. I grabbed at him, pulling him close, desperate to be closer to him. His fingers dug into my hips. In an instant, he twirled me around, body pressing into my back. Oh, he wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to touch me; his hand was right on top of my thigh. Our duet was becoming faster, heavier. All I wanted was him to take me, to ravage me, to make me his. I was tired of his teasing touches. I needed more.

Once again, his hands gripped my hips tightly, walking me back to the chaise. Carefully, he laid me down. My heart was racing as he climbed on top of me. This wasn’t the closest we’d been and yet my heart was thudding so loudly I worried other people could hear it. I reached out, hand resting on his back and bringing him closer to me. We sang our last notes together, voices melting together. His face got closer to mine, our lips practically touching. But he didn’t close the small gap. We froze, waiting for the auditioners to end the scene.

“End!” someone called. I breathed a sigh of relief as Vil got off of me. My heart was still racing in my chest and I hated to admit it, but I felt winded from that scene. Vil offered his hand to me and helped me get off the chaise lounge. Was it so obvious? 

Some auditioners were still jotting down notes, others looking up at us. Vil stood by me, waiting patiently to receive notes.

“Your chemistry is fantastic,” one person said to us. They turned to me. “Towards the end, you were losing a little bit of energy. Be sure to keep that up through the whole piece.”

“Thank you,” I replied.

“Your vocal performance didn’t suffer too much from it, but again, it wasn’t as confident as we’d like,” another added. It hurt, but I nodded.

“Thank you,” I replied again.

“Vil, come back here. We’ll audition for another Opera Ghost.” Vil didn’t spare me a single glance, heading back to the table to join the producers and creative team. It’s not that I wanted him to stay with me, but man, I needed a breather after doing an intense scene like that.

The rest of the audition went fine. No one was as intense as Vil was and I did my best to take the notes I’d been given and improve on it. As I sat on the sidelines, I watched after time and time again Vil be fairly aggressive with the other potential Carolines. Part of me wished they were intimidated by it, but no, they all did really well. As expected of professional actors. 

“Great job, everyone,” the man in the teal tie told us as callbacks wrapped up. “We’ll email you with the results. If you don’t hear back within the week, you haven’t been cast.” Why did we have to wait so long? I’d have to spend this whole week anxious and checking my emails every hour.

“Have a good evening, everyone,” one of the auditioners called out from behind the table. The tension in the air disappeared immediately. It was over. I pulled out my phone, ready to text Ace and Deuce that I was done. As I left, I glanced over to the table. Vil was deep discussion with the producers. Oh well. I could get away with not saying bye. 

---

“So, did you have to do anything other than the song and lines?” Deuce asked me as we sat in our hotel room, boxes of pizzas in front of us. 

“Yeah. We did a quick dance portion, but it was mostly the sides and singing,” I replied. Now the audition was done, I could indulge a little in junk food.

“Doesn’t sound too bad,” Ace said, mouth full.

“It wasn’t. It was tiring, though,” I admitted. “I started off intense so it was an uphill battle. Vil was pretty aggressive.”

“Vil? He auditioned too?” 

“Yeah. It was that seduction scene Deuce and I suffered through and he was going for it. A couple times I legit thought he was going to touch me. But he didn’t!” I added hurriedly as looks of rage came over both Ace and Deuce. “He asked if he could touch me and I said it was fine, don’t worry. He wasn’t going around just grabbing my thighs like a life preserver without consent.” Their bodies relaxed.

“Are you sure you want to do this show if the audition is like this?” Ace asked. 

“Of course I do! If I get into this show, it’s a job and I don’t have to rely on Headmaster Crowley for everything!” I fired back.

“Jeez, calm down.” Ace crossed his arms in front of his chest. “This just seems like a weird show.”

“You’re saying that as if the first musical wasn’t weird,” Deuce commented.

“I’ve never seen The Opera Ghost and I’m not going to. My grandma took me to see Dance of the Vampires when I was a kid and that’s the first and last musical I’ll ever see,” Ace said indignantly.

“You can’t base every musical off of one you saw,” Deuce argued. I just grabbed another slice of pizza and kept eating as they fought. As much as I hated it, Ace’s words stuck with me. Sure, I didn’t know the first musical, but this was a job. A job I needed. Right now, I was technically taking dorm funds for necessities and although I doubted Crowley cared, I needed some way of making my own money. Who knew how long I was going to be here? 

I needed to start trying to be independent.

… No. I’ve worked hard. I can worry about money later. I pushed the anxiety to the back of my mind, jumping back into the conversation Deuce and Ace were having. The night went on and despite my long day, I had a hard time sleeping. 

I lay awake in the stiff hotel bed, staring up at the ceiling. Deuce was sound asleep in the roll-away bed that was wedged between mine and Ace’s beds. I sighed, rolling over towards him and the night stand. I grabbed my phone and unlocked it. Instinctively, I double-checked I was on the hotel’s wifi before doing anything.

There was a notification bubble on my email app and my stomach did a backflip. I took a deep breath and opened it. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but still, my insides were starting to vibrate. There were two emails, one from the school about something I didn’t care about and the other from the people who’d sent me the music and sides for the audition. My body was shaking as I opened the email. My eyes read over the words quickly and that bubbly feeling grew and grew.

They offered me the role of Caroline.

My phone fell onto the mattress with a soft thud. My heart was about to beat out of my chest yet again today. I did it. I got the part. I wouldn’t have to worry about money soon. I had a job. I had a paying job. 

I got up and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. My body shook and I jumped up and down, trying to get the adrenaline out of my body. I did it! I had a job! Everything was going to be okay.

But as I tried to calm myself down, something came to mind. My audition with Vil. Who was already cast. … Was I going to have to do that scene again in front of more people?!

[timingmatters]

Opinions on ST S3 (I’m on mobile so I can’t do a cut below im sorry shdjdj)

I loved mileven and think this season explored very well Mike’s abandonment issues with El ( a product of s2) and how overprotective he was of her. He definitely had a point over people being careless with her powers and treating her like a machine. Max wasn’t right saying he treated her like a pet, because he really doesn’t, but she was right on him not trusting her knowing her limits. She knows how to take care of herself and Mike had to understand that. I loved that although their break up was over a dumb misunderstanding thanks to Hopper pressuring Mike and Max misunderstanding him, it ultimately helped them grow stronger as individuals and a couple. And Max also gave El the opportunity to explore herself as an individual outside just her powers or boyfriend. I def think Mike wanted to be sort of like an anchor to her, and El thought so too, but she had to learn to be her own anchor and Mike had to learn that although he wants to protect her, she also has to be on her own. Love when the issues relationships have are to make them stronger as a couple and not cheap love triangles. Which I felt the same with Jancy. He has always understood her, but for the first time he learned that he also has to speak up when OTHERS underestimate her. He has always just let her do her thing but theybare learning to work as a team not only during missions but throughout life in general. Overall i loved mileven and jancy and think their development was realistically done and they still had their cute moments (their moments at the last minutes of the season were incredibly cute and heartwarming). Lots of people didn’t like this season so much but i loved it. However I still got things that I disliked or would at least like to see on s4 because we didn’t get to see during this season.

Things I would have liked to see and hope s4 brings:

- Will was pushed to the side, and while I’ve seen people that hated it, I sort of enjoyed it?? I love Will but both previous seasons have focused soso much on him so it was nice for him not to be the main point suffering and just sitting bck and having a normal teen (gay) boy crisis and helping his friends.

- HOWEVER I did think friendships were pushed to the side. It wasn’t for no reason, it was a storyline that had a climax and even a resolution, but even so friendships had little time to shine and they are the heart of the show so I’m hoping for more next season. Especially Mike and Will, I’m not a byler shipper but they definitely have a very very strong bond and I wanted more. S4 has a lot of potential on that because clearly Mike knows Will is gay (if we are going down that path which it genuinely looks like it!!!) and I think him being a support for Will when coming to terms with it could be such an amazing storyline. Hell, they have (what for me is as friendship) AMAZING chemistry together, one of the ultimate best scenes on s2 was Mike recalling when they became friends to get Will back. Hope we see more of that in s4.

- some people said this season had too much Eleven. Sadly, I agree. I won’t complain bc like I said I get it and enjoy it. Also understand she’s sort of the main character, but truly a lot of characters didn’t get much of an arc and Eleven was given tons of screen time. Characters like Lucas barely had a storyline apart from just being there and I would have enjoyed for of them, especially considering his little sister almost died by the hands of the russian gov, like I can’t believe he didn’t at least have a big brother moment where he freaked out for her safety

- Max and Mike. I think they could be such friends. I understand, again with the abandonment issues Mike had where he came from being harsh to her, and obviously her not standing for that bs. But they could be such good friends and I thought they would at least have a talk towards the end to get a redemption arc on their friendship. If I was truly disappointed by something on this season it was probably that, I hope next season they become better friends and we get to see it

- On the same note, I wished we had seen El bonding with also thei other boys not just Max. On s1 she had developed strong friendships with Dustin and Lucas, and her friendship especially with Lucas had a rocky start so it would have been good to see them bond more. And Will who is lowkey her brother. Will had a rage moment and called her dumb and that’s just?? Only solved thro the friendship moment with the boys?? But he never attempted to actually bond with her and like shdhdj she saved his ass a lot and I hope s4 brings siblings moments with them (and Jonathan).

- Karen being a pedophile sucked ass and I’m disappointed I honestly wanted so much for her shdhhdhd. I CRAVED for her to be as involved as Joyce but they just made her a pedo with bad taste :/

- I understand how Max still sort of loves Billy even though he was her abuser. When the abuser comes from family is complicated like that. Still, I don’t think the redemption arc he had was enough to make me truly care for him. The moment with El and his mom’s memories at the end was a beautiful directing work and incredibly well acted, sadly, because as a viewer I don’t care much for him it wasn’t as impactful and emotional as I think they aimed for. Had he at least TRIED to touch on his past abusive and racist behavior, apologizing, blaming his dad, literally anything, I would have felt A LITTLE bad for him. But just because he lost his mom in a sad way doesn’t mean I will care for him lmao. And I can’t believe after making a point of his dad abusing him with homophobic slurs and showing those had an impact on him, the idea of him being gay was never explored. That honestly kinda shocked me.

- Hopper was an ass to Mike point blank lmao. I always find it creepy when dads in prom pics take pictures with their daughters’ dates and their guns as a “threatening” moment. I got the same vibe from Hopper during the first episodes which sort of ruined how I viewed him. ESPECIALLY after s2 when he holds Mike as he is having a breakdown over Hopper not telling him El was alive, he should be a lot more understanding towards Mike. Hopefully when he gets rescued from the russians in s4 Mike will be there to help him and they will bond

- again, MORE FRIENDSHIP PARTY MOMENTS. I truly loved the Dustin/Erica dynamic and Dustin/Steve, but the heart of the show will always be the party and I was sort of sad to see how little screen time Dustin had with the other kids.

- lastly, s2 went on a whole thing over other people like Eleven that were experimented on, and the promos for this s3 had a whole thing over Will having powers/being a key (which never happened all he did was feel a cold on his neck shdhdj). So I’m hoping s4 explores more on the power origins while El tries to get them back, and perhaps Will gains powers. And thus also introducing other people who were experimented on, not like in s2 where that storyline never merged, but also having the others involved.

Despite all the things I complained about, I understand the choices that were made with storylines and screen times for each character, and I did truly loved the season. I think Mileven’s issues were realistic regarding what they have been through and I loved them still seeking for each other and holding on to each other the moment things go badly. I did loved Mileven this season and hope they have learned and will be more stable on s4 and give us more cute moments. I feel the same with Jancy. I hope if there’s any relationship that gets more focus next season is lumax and jopper and hope they get drama and development while jancy and mileven just chill and have cute moments asjdjdjdj. Also hope Will gets a boy love interest!!!!! I loved Robin and her dynamic with Steve. They have an amazing friendship dynamic but i also understand not wanting to leave Steve forever single and alone unless s4 introduces him a new love interest and Robin remains as his bestie. On the same note, since s1 all I want is for Jonathan and Steve to be besties. Shhdhdjd still gonna hope for it for s4. I HOPE THE EVERYONE GOES TO RUSSIA TO SAVE HOPPER THAT WOULD BE COOL.

[caden]

i feel we should examine the whole idea of “do spoilers matter” or not at a deeper level then ‘people who complain about spoilers are annoying so spoiler warnings are stupid’. like the idea that a lot of you guys seem to have of “if having the plot spoiled ruins the movie for you then the plot wasnt any good anyways” seems sort of... not fully wrong but also underdeveloped to me. like, there are tons and tons and tons of stories that are widely considered to be amazing and have clear artistic merit that you absolutely wouldn’t want spoiled. Like, you wouldnt want to know darth vader was lukes father. you wouldnt want to know bruce willis was a ghost the whole time. For drama to be effective you need tension, and a very very efficient way of keeping the audience engaged is by putting them in a mindset where they’re unsure of what will happen next, or by revealing a game-changing plot twist, or by suddenly putting a character into an unexpected position. It seems totally disingenuous to me to be like ‘well it shouldnt matter to the audience whether or not they get to be surprised by what happens in the film they’re watching’. You can’t honestly believe that to be true. Being able to be surprised by a story is like one of the fundamental draws of good storytelling and probably has been for all of human history. Imagine how much worse US or Get Out or any Shakespeare play would be if you knew exactly where the plot would go before you saw it. I know there’s some research that suggests people actually enjoy stuff more if they already know what will happen but you can cast a lot of doubt on that data-- i think that it indicates more that people are more likely to appreciate a good plot once they understand it more thoroughly, hence why you might like a great movie more the second time you watch it. That doesnt mean there isnt value in the first time, it’s just a different way of viewing it.

All that said, the stuff with people not wanting spoilers for endgame has different wrinkles to it. (dont worry im not about to spoil anything). It can’t all be chalked up to ‘people care super deeply about the characters and plot and the writing is always so unpredictable and engaging that they dont want to know a single thing before going in’. Ive spent a lot of time recently thinking about the way infinity war and endgame are constructed, and they’re made in such a way that REALLY facilitates them being ‘spoiled’. because they’re written around moments. The plot isn’t so much a naturally moving thing with motivations and momentum of its own as much as a connective tissue between various cool things happening. Like, whoa, spider-man just met the guardians of the galaxy. oh sick, theyre in wakanda. holy shit, half of them died. Endgame goes REAAAAAALLY hard on this style of writing. And as a method of milking emotion from the audience, it really really works. Assuming the moments themselves are all effective, you’re guaranteeing constant engagement because every three minutes another epic thing is gonna happen. And I think when people fault marvel fans for being obsessed with spoiler warnings, this style of filmmaking is really what they’re trying to critique. because there’s a suggestion that if your movie is just jumping from crazy twist to shocking death to funny reference to epic fight, you’re losing the thing that should actually be the connective tissue of a film-- its themes, character arcs, ideas, setting... etc. And while I personally don’t think those things are mutually exclusive, (bc i do believe that infinity war and endgame genuinely have themes they try to discuss), i would also agree with the argument that reliance on shocking moments over actual ideas is bad writing. But as I mentioned earlier, a filmmaker like Jordan Peele whose works are generally agreed to be very good also uses this writing style-- his plots escalate via twists and turns and are expertly constructed to keep the audience wondering what’ll happen next, and he does a really great job with it. 

Now, i DEFINITELY think there’s an argument for ‘disney intentionally plays up the spoiler warning angle in a way that’s ultimately toxic to the filmmaking process’. Like I don’t believe that the “tom holland doesnt get to read the script” stuff is true, I 100% think it’s all a publicity stunt-- but they shouldnt be setting a precedent that makes people think doing something like that to a lead actor is acceptable. It’s not how films should be made, and the only reason I’m sure its all fake is because I have enough filmmaking experience to know itd literally be impossible to efficiently shoot a big-budget film under those conditions. Of course all the buzz about endgame spoilers is HUGELY beneficial to their marketing teams, so obviously they’re gonna go hard as hell on enforcing that narrative. Like they 100% WANT everyone to both be spoiling the movie and getting anxious about having the movie spoiled, because its all free advertising for them. But in terms of ‘big movie studios having greedy practices that harmfully affect the artistic process and make their films worse’, its incredibly low on the list of bad stuff that studios do imo. 

So, like, if you’re gonna critique all the various aspects of that, I think you should A) put your efforts towards exposing all the spoiler panic through the lens of how it affects the way that films are produced and consumed, or B) put your efforts towards analyzing the media itself, watch the film and ask ‘is this film more engaging and well-made because of its reliance on moments that can be spoiled? If no, why is that not working? If yes, is that engagement coming at a cost or is it justified? Essentially, I’d like to feel that the criticism was either coming from a social angle or an artistic one. And if that were the case I think i’d have less of an issue with it. Just saying “people are dumb for caring about spoilers” is silly. Maybe it’s dumb, but that’s not the point. People will consume media however they want to and if they want to care about spoilers then they have a right to care. You guys aren’t wrong if you think marvel shit is stupid and badly made, because art is subjective and no opinion on it is wrong. But other people also aren’t wrong for liking and caring about it, and being like ‘we should spoil it for them to teach them a lesson” is gross and totally unproductive. I know 99% of it is jokes but you gotta remember that some people have spent a very long time being very excited to see this movie and doing something that wrecks that for them is just mean and inconsiderate. It’s not about whether them feeling that way is stupid or not, because yeah, it’s stupid to be that invested in superhero movies. It’s about it not being cool to intentionally hurt someone just because you can. And the reason i don’t have a lot of tolerance for it is because I feel like saying “caring about spoilers is stupid” is a kneejerk, surface level attempt at media criticism and we can do better. I obviously care pretty deeply about the way we consume and criticize pop culture and i think it’s in everyone’s benefit to have more productive discourse about this stuff. No ill will towards my friends who are saying the things that i’m ragging on, i obviously don’t think it’s coming from a malicious place or anything-- this is just my read on the situation. Was gonna post this like two days ago but then decided someone would prob message me a spoiler because of it lol

[archiveofolives]

tagged by @captainmrvels, tyvm!! here's the funny thing tho: i don't watch tv shows anymore :D sometime between 2014 and now, i decided it was no use pretending and completely stopped trying to catch up with the episodes i'd missed so i'm just going to sort of retrofit this questionnaire to make it applicable to me! i hope that's ok ❤️❤️❤️

Pick 5 shows fandoms, then answer the following questions (don’t cheat!)

marvel (oh i just realized the avengers have a cartoon series!)

ff7 (errr movie and oav?)

ace attorney (it has an anime! does that count)

star wars (eh)

his dark materials (hey this one at least has a tv show coming out soon)

1. Who is your favorite character in 2?

it's this guy cloud strife, you may have heard of him from my blog lmao

2. Who is your favorite in 1?

WE ARE LOKI ON MAIN FOR A REASON, BABY

3. What’s your favorite episode of 4?

HA this one worked like a charm. ummm probably episode 7 bc that made me feel Things and i loved rewatching it as compared to the others. altho if we bring in every other movie in-between, it's obviously rogue one. BUT i DO have a special place in my heart for episode 1! i've been a star wars fan since i was a kid thanks to my dad but i was obsessed with episode 1, it really pushed all the right buttons for me. like i wouldn't call it a solid movie next to episode 7 but man is it a classic!

4. what’s your favorite season of 5?

i think i will love every season when they do come out but book-wise, i think you can't beat the level of wonder of northern lights/golden compass, depending on which edition your bookstores sold. my REAL absolute favorite tho has got to be once upon a time in the north bc the leads are basc my two favorite characters lmao

5. Who’s your favorite couple in 3?

OH MAN mia fey and godot! i'm such a trash for tragic relationships and i think they looked very handsome together!

6. Who’s your favorite couple in 2?

cloud and aerith—my home ship since 20 years ago and the reason, i think, a lot of my ships tend to be on the tragic side >.>;; but i just love the tropes they're hitting, you know? and then how their colors and characters complement each other, i think they're a very attractive couple

7. Least favorite episode movie of 1?

movie bc it's easier than the comics lmao. but probably dr strange? icn say it's civil war bc it has spider-man, black panther and ant-man which for me are the only things really worth seeing in there but dr strange doesn't really even have that much of a hook for me to begin with. i wouldn't have gone and seen it if not bc of my team who wanted to see it for our team building excursion lol

8. Favorite episode of 5?

find me anything with lee scoresby in it baby!!!

9. Favorite season installment of 2?

i think i will forever be devoted to the classic polygon game, the one that started it all, y'know? but i'm really excited for the remake and i really enjoyed ff7ac/c! i also have not played the other games in the compilation bc money and time lmao (says the woman who just spent 12 hours on the game yesterday like some high schooler >.>;;; i just got aerith's great gospel and i already miss her ;_;)

10. How long have you watched 1?

i have been a clown since 2012

11. How did you become interested in 3?

we got a ds lite!! and then everyone kept raving about the phoenix wright game so my sister got it for us and then one day, i just decided to watch and help her play the third case and now, it's part of how we bond. we've always solved cases together ever since, they're much easier and less creepier that way

12. Favorite actor in 4?

oh wow, another lucky hit! ummm ewan mcgregor? i was a huge fan of his obi-wan kenobi like, icn remember calling other characters my favorite after his obi-wan anymore. so i'm really excited he's going to reprise the role, finally!!

13. Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

oh god, probably 2?? bc between the three of them, ff7 has had the biggest influence in my life. like seriously, the reason i'm in my job rn is bc of it—i went to college to take up computer science bc i wanted to make games like ff7 lmao but that didn't work out bc calculus is the worst. STILL it pushed me to the right direction of being in stem!

14. Which have you seen more episodes new releases of, 1 or 3?

i'm gonna have to say 1 for the obvious reason that they've released more movies than 3 has released games bc they're the products of an entertainment tycoon, you know? while with 3, there's still a part of it that still feels like a passion project and i haven't seen the anime yet lmao.

15. If you could be anyone from 4 who would you be?

i'd be a rebel. when i was a kid, i wanted to be a jedi, tho, lol

16. Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

ACE ATTORNEY IN SPACE. SPACE ATTORNEY AHAHAHAHAHA. i mean WHY NOT, you've got coruscant, you've got imperial sympathizers sowing discontent to lead to the first order (i think), you've got other separatists while we're at it, smuggling, bounty hunting, the fall of the jedi order. especially after rotj, i can imagine how active the courtrooms were with the war criminals and the petty ones taking advantage of the shift of government. the feys are obviously of the force, the von karmas could be a family linked to sympathizers, maybe nick is even attuned to the force which is why mia singled him out! it's easy to work out the whole thing ❤️

17. Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely ok couple.

but marvel is already doing that job for me lmao. ummmm jane and roz solomon? but it's not unlikely bc they ARE friends and roz was the first person jane confided to about being thor. really icn think of anything off the top of my head, i'm not a shippy kind of person unless the canon lays it out before me and i get convinced. which, in itself, is rare.

18. Overall which show franchise has a better storyline, 1 or 3?

3, hands down. i'd much rather miss more movies of 1 than new releases of 3. it's in the quality of the storytelling, y'know? which isn't to say i loved all games lol i mean honestly, if you ask me? i'd tell you apollo justice is a huge au.

19. Which has better theme music, 2 or 4?

OH THIS IS A GOOD QUESTION. you're asking me who did it better, john williams or nobuo uematsu??? damn, they're both solid composers with amazingly timeless pieces but from my biased point of view, you can't beat nobuo uematsu. his work on final fantasy as compared to williams' work on star wars is more varied and he freaking makes MIDI sound like an orchestra!! and, he was the fucking soundtrack of my childhood. i was SO lucky to have been raised in a generation where he still did the music to all final fantasy games.

tagging: OH NO I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TAG DDDD: ummm @summoneryuna watches lots of shows, right??? @egregiousderp but with anime?? @safarikalamari just bc???? lmao idfk

[emigotchi]

An Open Letter to Unreasonable Cybird Haters

I’m sorry for submitting something like this to multiple blogs but it had to be said.

You seem to hate Cybird for not delivering the type of translation you want and judging by your posts you want them to google-translate everything? If that’s the translation you want then just keep google-translating all you want off public view and leave them alone, your condescending attitude is not gonna make them happily comply with your selfish and tyrannical threats.

Every sane person knows google translations are crap galore, you claiming otherwise only proves that you’re poorly educated.

Google translate was created by ppl whose main language was English, it never worked well with Asian languages bc of how fundamentally different these languages are - the concept of time, place, environment… Google translate will not tell you nuances or double meanings of words - it will pick the first option available bc it’s just a machine. (btw this is why most ppl don’t know that daku means both ‘to hug’ and ‘to sleep with’)

Your hate is not based on facts - it‘s a product of your delusions which are a result of fundamentally wrong machine translations.

By posting an opinion that goes against what most people think (yes, most ppl don’t hate Cybird! otherwise Cybird would be out of business?) you naturally invite people to disagree with you and hiding behind a “loose-translation” and “imma block u” shield is just a silly attempt to make yourself look important and at the same time not take any responsibility for your own words.

The Cybird team knows the language. They can translate without the use of machines. They definitely understand that most references elude the Western fandom. How many people did not even know that “nin nin” was a Japanese reference? You had to make a post saying “nin nin” was also mentioned in the Japanese version. That obviously means you didn’t even know what the reference is from. Isn’t it ridiculous that you complain the game doesn’t make use of all its Japanese references, and instead adapts it to Western ones but you don’t even know a Japanese reference when you see one? This is why some parts are changed to make sure everyone understands and enjoys a scene.

Please be a little more respectful to people who know their work. Unless you have the capacity to translate and understand the language at their level, please sit down and keep your accusations of accuracy to yourself.

______________________________________________________________

Dear Cybird fan, 

Thank you for taking the time to write such a lengthy letter and for sharing your feelings about the situation concerning translations. Considering that you are speaking to multiple people, I am uncertain if you addressing me directly or if you are just hoping that I will spread the word for you. 

You start by saying  “ You seem to hate Cybird for not delivering the type of translation you want and judging by your posts you want them to google-translate everything?” I do not remember posting anything about translation other than the few occasional Google flubs because, as you mentioned, Google translate is not the best tool for translating. If you are referring to a post that an Anon sent me about what Ieyasu said in Mitsunari’s route, I believe that this person had every right to share their thoughts just like you are sharing yours. Furthermore, if I actually hated Cybird as much as you say I do, I would have stopped playing their games and would not have bothered posting anything about Mitsunari’s route.

I’m pretty busy so I apologize for being unable to grace your letter with an appropriate response. However, know that I (and I’m certain others) could have done without the ad hominem. I’m quite saddened to see that this whole translation issue has escalated into a war where both sides simply send vicious comments at each other. Because yes, both sides have gotten nasty with each other. 

And once again, I apologize, Cybird fan, because you are barking up the wrong tree.

[ahnminhyk]

okay so I'm gonna go on a rant about how wonderful and brilliant bts' music is, get ready

okay so first of all, this is my opinion. I know jackshit about music or the technical aspects of it, the only thing I'll be doing is give my thoughts on why I feel like bts a) doesn't have single bad or even sub-par song; b) probably will never have a bad or even sub-par song; and c) why they stand out from other kpop groups in so many ways

first of all, I'm gonna talk about genres. bts literally can do any musical genre outgere and succeed. I mean, boys could be yodelling for 4 minutes and it'd be amazing. why? again, not an expert, but I think it's because they know very well how to blend genres to make them work in their favour. they mix hip hop with pop with edm with fuck knows what else and make it look effortless. there are not many artists or producers who can do that. on that note, kudos to bts' production team, not just joon and yoongi and hobi, but also supreme boi, pdogg, bang PD and everyone else, they are so talented and they make the boys shine even more every time.

bts has songs for every occasion. literally. they have gritty, rough songs that go so hard you wanna punch someone in the face (i.e. cyphers, fire, mic drop). they have songs that will make you cry your eyes out (i.e. spring day, butterfly, sea). they have songs that will have you blushing for no reason and smiling like a dork because they're so cute (i.e. I like it, coffee, miss right). they have bangers that could be played in clubs all over (i.e. dope, save me, best of me). they even have songs that'll make you want to overthrow a government and personally kick oppressors to the fifth circle of hell (i.e. not today, n.o, we are bulletproof).

they are so freaking versatile it's a miracle they haven't broken off into millions of different pieces. i think part of why that is is the fact that each member brings something entirely different to the table. each of them have their own style and unique voice that makes the whole thing come together in the best way.

i’ll go on and analyse each members styles now:

rm -- okay so namjoon is probably universally known as the best rapper in the group. i don’t disagree. i’ve seen people who certainly know more about rapping than i do (which isn’t really hard but w/e) say that the way rm raps is the tightest, better than many western hip-hop artists these days. i think this is evident in the recent collab with fob where he raps in english (not saying he raps better in english; he raps amazingly in any language tbh). i think anyone who listens to that song and doesn’t know who namjoon is will think he’s a legit rapper/hip-hop artist. however, what i wanted to talk about was his rapping style from my point of view (again, just my opinion). i think the way namjoon raps is unique and different form the other members of the rap line because it’s very polished, but it still has that raw element that he refuses to shed completely. i often think of it like this: kim namjoon could be telling you to fuck off but it would take you three years to realise that’s what he meant. his rap style isn’t necessarily aggressive (compared to suga’s, for example), but it’s still kind of harsh and emotive, and i think that’s a really amazing balance. his voice is very mellow as well, like when he talks or sings, i feel like his voice just.........embraces you, in a way. it’s hard to explain. of course, there are songs where his rapping is more aggressive than others, but overall i feel like his rap style is more subtle in that sense, and that’s what makes it even more amazing

suga -- oh boy. i don’t even know where to begin. i know i said that namjoon is universally the best rapper in the group, but if i had to pick a fave out of the rap line, it’d be yoongi. why? because boy goes hard as FUCK and i freaking love it. i don’t know if you’ve listened to his mixtape (listen to it, it’s freaking amazing) but you can see what i’m about to say even more clearly on there. to me, yoongi is such an expressive and emotive rapper it blows my mind every time i see him perform. it’s the way he spits the lyrics out, it’s the way he says them almost without breathing for what seems like forever, it’s the way he always puts everything he has into what he’s singing. you can hear his heart in his rapping and to me, that’s what makes him such a fucking great rapper. i know there’s also the stuff with diction and bars and shit but i’m not getting into that because i have no idea what i’m talking about. all i know is how he makes me feel when i hear him, and what i feel is that every time he throws a verse, he does so with all of his heart, he feels everything he sings. it’s almost angry and frustrated the way he raps, like he has so much to say and not enough time, not enough breath. i can’t even put it into words properly, but if you see him perform you’ll know what i mean. if namjoon can tell you to fuck off without you realising he’s doing it, yoongi will tell it to your face and then smack you all the way there. and that’s why i love his style so much. he is shameless in it, in his anger, in his emotions, and it makes me connect with him on a whole other level.

j-hope --  ahh yes, hobi. i’ve only recently really started to appreciate hoseok’s style, and i don’t know why, past me was an idiot. at this point, i’m not sure if that rumour about him starting off as a vocalist is true, but the fact of the matter is that hoseok has something the other members of the rap line don’t show as much, and that is a level of musicality in his voice that is unlike anything i’ve ever heard in a rapper ever. i don’t really know how to explain it, but you can hear it in several bts songs. he almost like sings his rap at times. i think that’s what makes him so unique. his voice blends with the music in a way that’s almost similar to the way the vocal line’s do. i think that is such a beautiful thing to be honest. that being said, of course his rap is also super tight and in every level on par with the other two rappers. i just love how the three rappers have three very unique styles and voices and ways to rap. it brings that diversity and versatility to the group that would be hard to get if they were all sort of on the same level or had the same style

jin -- to me, jin’s voice is one of the most beautiful in the world, period. i love how it’s slightly nasal, his tone and timbre are so unlike anything i’ve ever heard. awake is one of the most beautiful songs ever to me. he has a sort of classical way about his singing that is very very nice, and that contrasts well with the other vocalists’. i’ve seen people saying that his voice is more suited for ballads and that is why he doesn’t get as many lines in the more upbeat songs. i disagree. i think the perfect example of this is his part in the ‘go go’ chorus. i just love it. his voice goes perfectly with the rhythm and melody of that song. his voice is more versatile than people give him credit for i feel. i hope that with time, we get to see more of it in more upbeat songs, but i won’t be that person that says bighit is doing him dirty bc they don’t give him more lines, i don’t wanna start that discourse on here. anyway, this all to say, jin’s voice is really beautiful and unique to me, and that allows bts songs to get yet another layer of complexity and melodic diversity. jin really contributes to it in my opinion with his timbre and higher tone.

jimin -- i don’t even know where to begin with jimin. of course, he is the king of high notes. no contest there. i just love jimin’s voice so much. i think it really gives the vocal line something extra that ends up bringing the whole thing together spectacularly. i know he is very insecure in his vocal skills, but boy can sing for shit!!!!! it’s amazing how he holds those high notes for so long. i can’t even do those notes. but isolated high notes aside, jimin has a very sweet voice. i don’t know how else to put it. his voice is just sweet. i feel like smiling every time he comes in singing in his base tone because it’s just..........so sweet. i think it goes so well with the otherwise more gritty music bts is known to do. that being said though, i LOVE when he comes out with those growls and raspy verses. i just love how versatile he can be, and i wish we could hear it more often in recorded versions, because boy goes all out in live performances. i don’t think his versatility and vocal ability is really acknowledged that much, i know he’s mainly known for his high notes and generally high voice, but he can do a lot more than that and it gives bts a certain kind of balance, in my opinion

v -- listen, whoever told kim taehyung he can’t sing in the past is a fucking moron. like, i don’t know what those people were drinking because what the heck????? this boy has one of the widest vocal ranges i’ve ever seen in my life. he is also probably the most versatile voice in bts. he can go high, he can go low, he can go raspy, he can do harmonies. he can do anything, really. and i love everything he does with his voice. i love it when he goes low and gets that sultry feel to his voice, like a jazz singer almost. i love it when he belts out high notes and holds them like they’re his bitch. i love it when he rasps out verses like he’s a fucking rock singer who’s had too much liquor before going on stage. i love it when he harmonises with literally any other members. speaking of harmonies, can we PLEASE have more jimin and tae lines where they sing together????? their voices go together SO WELL it’s insane. when they harmonise my soul legit leaves my body and ascends to the fifth dimension. tae’s voice is such a beautiful contrast and contrabalance to the other vocalists’ voices, it doesn’t matter which, because when they go higher, he can go a little lower and the result is fucking brilliant. i could talk about kim taehyung’s voice all day to be honest, but i won’t. go listen to stigma and you’ll basically know everything you need to.

jungkook -- it is amazing what this boy can do with his voice. there is a reason he is the main vocalist, and that is because his technique is fucking stellar. i’ve seen people ask why he gets more chorus lines when he’s not even the best singer, and i just get slammed because.......... what? for the record, i don’t think any of the vocalists are better than the others, they all have very unique and amazing voices that balance each other out in the best way possible. but jungkook........... i wish i knew more about the technical terms of this so i could explain it properly. one of the things that always floors me is how, in the earliest bts songs, he was 15 and 16 years old. most of the boys i knew at 15 still had their voices breaking and screeched at random fucking times. yet jk has always been steady as a rock when it comes to his vocal ability. i think he is the baseline for everyone else’s voice because he ties the harmonies together so well. he keeps the base tone going while the other members go higher and lower and bring out the other aspects of the song. however, and we all know this, when this boy goes, he fucking goes hard. his high notes are no goddamn joke. they fucking shock me every time. and the way he’s able to maintain them is flawless. i feel like i can’t even talk about his technique, i’m just not good enough. another thing i love about jk’s voice that i don’t know if many people notice is how it’s always slightly husky when he’s singing in his base tone. i don’t think i’ve ever heard a voice like that in a boy his age. his voice has something behind it that, while being extremely subtle, also makes it stand out.

okay now that that’s done, i wanna talk about content, more specifically lyrics.

now, being an i-army, and knowing almost nothing about the korean language, i don’t understand most of bts’s songs without subs or a translation. that being said, i can get the feel and vibe of a song from the very first time i listen to it. before i even looked at translations, i could tell that fire was a song about just wanting to let got for a while and do crazy shit; i could tell that i need u was about heartache and pain and a love that hurt. i could tell that butterfly was a song about loving someone and being scared they’d disappear. of course, i won’t pretend to know that that was exactly what they were about, but i could feel it when i heard them. i might’ve not known the exact way to put it in words, but the songs brought up feelings in me that matched them perfectly. i think that says enough about how my thought and effort bts puts in their songs and musical arrangements, because they know music is about more than words being sung, it’s about the feelings, it’s about what you want people to feel when they hear the song.

but about the lyrics themselves, i think bts do something not many other kpop groups (or mainstream artists in general) are able to do. of course, i know plenty of artists get political in their songs, i’m not discrediting them for it. what i am saying is that, from what i’ve seen of the kpop industry and culture, a group talking about the topics that bts bring up isn’t that common. in their songs, they’ve broached topics such as anxiety, depression, feeling like you’re set up to fail, the pressures put on teens to do well in school and go to a good uni, strict educational systems, social standards, social inequalities, rich vs. poor dichotomy, youth, the transition between teen and adult, among many others that you don’t often see addressed in such a consistent way. they’ve stayed true to what they’ve been doing since their debut, which is be a voice for young people beyond love songs. what they say resonates with people, it makes us feel understood, we see ourselves in their lyrics and music.

this brings me to the topic of music videos. now we all know that bts mv’s are a whole other level of production. but what i wanted to mention really quick is how nothing they do on those videos is random. i’m sure they have a fantastic team behind them helping with this, of course. but bts music videos always have several subliminal messages hidden under the surface. i wanna talk specifically about the hyyh series videos. those are, in my opinion, better than many oscar-nominated feature length movies. they are incredibly well thought out and aesthetically planned, as well as being so heavily meaningful and charged with narrative continuity that just leaves you speechless. not to mention the boys’ acting like wow. specifically in the i need u mv, even if the song is about love and separation, the mv goes so beyond that it leaves you wondering why they even put the song on there. it could just be a film on its own. it’s so raw and gritty and intense, charged with meaning and sensitive topics not everyone would care to address in an mv like that, for that kind of song. it sets a whole picture for the other videos, and it just leaves me so floored every time i watch it, as well as the other videos in the series, because the level of detail and planning and thought that went into that series is seriously another level entirely. i think that definitely sets them apart from anything else in the world, really, beyond kpop or music in general.

i’ll just talk about live performances really quick. the fact that people say they lip sync literally makes me want to throw a chair in their faces. in fact, i wouldn’t even be that mad if they did lip sync. i mean, with their choreo and demanding vocals, it’d be understandable. but they don’t. it’s so clear every single time they perform. they have recording to back them up and a few vocals here and there, but the core is all them. do you have any idea how hard it is to do the kind of choreo they do and deliver that level of vocals and rap? as someone who’s had to do it, i’ll tell you for a fact it is a bitch. but they do it, and they make it look effortless. they bring their all into every single performance they do. i love watching their performances. i love the energy, i feel energized after watching a video of them performing. i love their adlibs, i love how tight they are with choreo, and how wild they get when they can just walk around the stage and interact with fans. i love jimin’s shouts and growls in every song he sings. i love jk showing off his stellar vocals. i love jin showcasing his freaking amazing vocal abilities for the world to see. i love v’s raspy vocals and how they sound live with an audience. i love hobi’s energy. i love suga hopping around and spitting fire like he’s talking about the weather. i love namjoon all hyped and having the time of his life dancing with his members and the fans.

one more thing final i’ll mention, and that i think anyone who’s seen them together has noticed, is the deep connection the members have with each other. i’ve noticed that with some other groups, there tends to be sub-groups and pairs or little groups of members that are closer to each other than with everyone. i don’t see that with bts ever. ofc, every dynamic is different, but you can tell they are all family. it’s the kind of love and connection you just can’t fake. it’s the kind of love that goes beyond just being in the same group together. in my idealistic view of the world and universe, i truly do believe that bts are 7 soulmates that were lucky enough to have found each other. like, every time i think about all the things that had to happen for them to be where they are today, i’m floored. from jungkook being scouted by 6 other agencies (3 of which are the biggest idol companies in korea) and choosing small label bighit because of rm, from v only going to that audition to support his friend and not to participate himself, to jin turning down sm because he thought it was a scam, or hobi landing on bighit and not jyp when they split, or rm trading his surely brilliant academic career for music, or yoongi fighting so hard for his dream he would walk home and skip meals. these boys have such an incredible amount of dedication to music, to each other and to us that just makes me so freaking emotional. they not once have taken any of it for granted. they know what it is like to struggle for your passions. they know what it’s like to feel like you’re not good enough. you see it every time they win an award or surpass another landmark in their career. they’ve stayed humble and not once taken army for granted. it’s beautiful to see.

and that is why, in my opinion, bts are as successful and as amazing as they are. none of it is coincidence (see what i did there). it’s their hard work, it’s their insane amount of talent, it’s their combined efforts to make music no one has done before. it’s their thoughtfulness and dedication. it’s their honest to goodness genius. and maybe, i guess, a little bit of serendipity as well.

[survivorcutthroat]

Episode 2: “The queen stays queen for another day.” - Sherry

So I ended up cutting Nehe because I felt like I gained more from him going than from him staying. I know I'm almost 100% to blame for his elimination and although my dark side is loving it, I still feel bad....I view myself as a snarky hero not some heartless villain...I wish we had just won immunity ugh. But I cut him and that's the name of this season - cut or be cut. I just have to get used to the feeling - maybe I can take some tips from Matt???

Now that the first vote is over, I can get a sense of who all trusts me. I think Zack is thankful I didn't flip but he still doesn't trust me which was to be expected. Dustin seems to trust me but I think he might not be telling me the whole truth just yet - I'm starting to be skeptical that Seamus is lying about his vote....Amir seems to trust me too but I feel like he could be threatened by me? I dont think he'll come after me anytime soon but his tone kinda changed towards me when we talked game - he didn't realize how much of a role I would play I presume....for now, I hope a swap happens and I can go more UTR. I was a bit chaotic with this last round and I want to dive back down underwater for a while to disappear from any potential bulls eyes on my back! 

THIS WENT PERFECTLY. I set up Ali and Sherry going against eachother even though I was the only one going against both of them. I eliminated an idol, kept my trust with everyone but Sherry, and got rid of my target of Ali. I wish Ali were here but this is a great scenario as well.

15 minutes later

Tribe swap and I'm so happy. We are nu YANGBYE which is the best tribe name around. I love these people but I'd also love to say "yangbye!" to them one by one. 

Crow - Oh my god I get to work with chaos crow <3 

Jaiden - I don't understand Jaiden but I want to work closely with him 

Dom - YES it's my pal from whatever our starting tribe was 

Zack - I quite like Zach but I don't trust him. 

Liana - She doesn't talk to me very much. 

I'd like to keep Jaiden Crow and Dom around. The other two are threats and they're not on my side. 

Wooooo okay so post tribal council and I survived!!! Nehe was great and a nice person but Seamus was in his ear and Nehe was going around saying that Zack and I are a final 2 and in the end I couldn't have him here anymore and my target ended up leaving so hehehohohahha

Okay now I gotta focus purely on social bonds because our tribe dynamic is weird as fuck. us 4 voted together to outvote nehe and Seamus...but now its just us 4 lmao which means if we go to tribal then kumbaya time is gonna be over and someone gotta go. My plan? Turn crow and zack against each other. Crow was the most hesitant to keep zack and zack has thrown crows name out there in the past 

But other than that I fucking love Zack and I really didn't think I was going to during this game but if people are saying we're close friends when were not, we might as well align. Crow is still my husband, he's a lil sketchy but still my husband. Dustin is the only sane person here newfkj and I'm glad he's here and best case scenario is we don't lose the challenge and I get to keep my gays a little longer in the game. 

Current people I still want gone in order: SEAMUS, LIANA, stevie, ali, tommy 

This first tribal was interesting!! Winning the challenge I chose a tribe to go to and I got to vote with them but I was immune, such an interesting twist. It seemed like the tribe wanted to go for Sherry, which I did not really want. I end up talking to Sherry and she told me about the idol and that she was using it so to keep up appearances I voted for Sherry to vote in the majority, knowing what she was gonna do. Hopefully she isn't mad about that. Now Im on this new tribe and I have my old tribe as the majority so im feeling pretty good about this current position and hopefully nothing happens to ruin that just yet. 

I MADE FINAL 18! We just swapped tribes to 3 tribes of 6 and now I left my Yangbye tribe and joined the New Sagu tribe with Cole, Stevie, and Abel who were on my original Yangbye tribe and Dustin from Magyi and Sid from Sagu. We made an original Yangbye alliance chat however, I don't know how loyal the people in that chat will be especially a guy named cole.  For whatever reason I'm getting a strong vibe that cole doesn't like me or want me in the game long term so I'd be so down to get him out... I think he will be a threat however I also don't wanna just betray this new alliance but I don't wanna play dumb. I like Dustin and Sid to an extent, I'm not sure how much I can really trust either... For right now the two people I'm most trustful of on my tribe are Stevie and Abel, as for the rest of them I have no idea where their heads are at in terms on strategy of the game. I hope we just keep winning immunity, I really really don't want to go to tribal, I feel even less secure on this tribe than I did on my last one. 

Ok, so the first two tribals that have happened pretty much didn't effect my game at all! I barely talked to either Nehe or Ali so I'm glad they are gone. They were nice but I didn't see anything in them. I feel like my lip sync will be good enough to get my tribe to winning this Immunity, I just hope we find someone who can edit because I have no idea how to edit at all. If we do end up going to tribal I should be fine as I made a alliance with the original Yangbye tribe! Also omg at sherry snatching everyone's wig with that first tribal idol.... My mouth is still open. 

Anyways why was cole willing to let sid edit the video and willingly give him the power to be the first one with the finished product so sid can submit and get the idol clue when sid is on the bottom? He’s only fussing about it right now in the tribe chat bc i just pointed it out to him in pms. Like ik cole’s not stupid so i strongly doubt he would make such a dumbass mistake. Shady ass bitch. 

[7/7/17, 8:40:47 PM] Abel: 

[7/7/17, 7:27:03 PM] Abel: sis are we really gonna let sid get the idol clue [7/7/17, 7:28:08 PM] Cole™: I'm gonna try and get it 

[7/7/17, 7:28:21 PM] Abel: whoever submits it gets it 

[7/7/17, 7:28:38 PM] Abel: and if he’s editing it’ll probably be him 

[7/7/17, 7:31:23 PM] Cole™: But like I did the most work 

[7/7/17, 7:31:52 PM] Abel: one of us needs to submit it then 

[7/7/17, 7:32:17 PM] Abel: like i would share the clue with you obviously but yeah its just easier for you to submit it 

[7/7/17, 7:32:30 PM] Abel: and sid has the power if he’s making the final product 

[7/7/17, 7:33:43 PM] Cole™: True, I would share it too 

 I have an okay relationship with dustin. Tommy i still trust. Stevie eh mostly. I would love to just coast on tribal lines/challenge dominance for a bit. Sid is the only person i have no relationship with and I’m not really interested in trying to make one like i’d rather just vote him out lmao. Like i said hi and how are you to him already and it was just so exhausting idk i don’t have the energy to fake another friendship rn. We’ll see where my paranoia with cole takes me.

I am upset that I'm separated from Crow Zack and Dustin and I'm also really upset that I haven't been on a tribe with Cole Sid Or Bodhi but on the bright side, I have sherry and I have rob. I have enough people I won't die at least. 

ZACK IS MY SON AND I WILL PROTECT HIM.

hi it's me again hehetehe. 

lemme just talk about last round bc im still a lil FUCKED up. bc some people got me FUCKED up. 

Seamus is an ugly dirty little rat and if he really thought he would pull a fast one on ME.. he was SURELY mistaken. he can go back to fucking his cousin and eating his hay. he literally looks like he eats hay. like.. you're not gonna just try to get me out and think i'm not gonna say something.. and now he wants to come and apologize and act all innocent like bitch, please, save that shit. 

anyways... i like my new tribe? like i'm not completely fucked here. i miss dustin and amir tho :( literally dustin and amir are my hunts like they really put there ass out there to help me and i appreciate that so much. i got their backs in this game. i hope me abel dustin and amir can all make merge and run this shit to the end.

ps- fuck seamus.

Really? REALLY? I'm used to being on elite tribes not amateur ones.....so after the tribe swap I wind up on the worst of the 3 tribes with people who seem to either be shy or just incredibly nonchalant. Liana just spoke like, today - Zack is still Zack and Dommy is sorta like that team member who's all talk and no game at this point...and Jaiden is just an ugly troll. The only thing that could have made it worse would have been seeing Matt on my tribe so I guess thanks for not doing that to me.... 

Like I understand we all have busy lives and this isn't an easy comp but I've been sitting in Iceland halfway across the globe with internet lag and cut-out quite often but I was willing to put time into this comp for my piece of it (I was legit going to do my lip sync in a RV bathroom - how iconic is that?) 

But INSTEAD someone mysteriously submitted a dumb pre-made video to the blog (which is no "accident") which basically means we lose even though we never started. 

And Jaiden, I know it was you. I can't tell if it's out of complete stupidity or mischief, but either way, you're in hot water sir. 

Ugh, can we swap again? Pls? I can't do this constant losing thing it's bad for my ego.

Alrighty so there was no doubt I was going to get kicked off of my tribe before the swap. Luke, Jaiden, Sid, and Seamus? Jaiden randomly hates me (and my husband), and Seamus probably wants revenge for Zootopia, Luke is impossible to talk to. The only person I liked game-wise was Sid because he's really easy to get along with and I feel like I can actually trust him and he won't cut me, so to speak. 

In order to try to rectify this, I figured I could gain trust with Seamus by starting an idol searching brigade, so I told him where I searched. He could easily lie about this and probably did but it's whatever, I'm trying (reasoning on this later). I tried to clear the air with Jaiden and we talked things out and I tried to find common ground with him (idk if it worked or not). 

 Seamus talked to me about me and him and Sid working together. Ever since the tribe swap I haven't heard from them so I guess that's dead. 

I trust Stevie the most overall. I've been telling him my thoughts (lol contact him for confessionals). Stevie was actually my first ally in my first game so I like him a lot (he taught me how to be cutthroat). He told me about his and Seamus' idol clues, and how Seamus would probably lie about it (hence the earlier reasoning). He said that the clue said the number is the same on a clock (i.e. 1-12) but Seamus would probably say the opposite. Seamus has actually said nothing so anyway I continue to not trust Seamus. 

The other tribe was ugly for trying to vote out my fellow woman.

wow so um... cole and sid are targets more info tomorrow

I think I'm good with my whole tribe. I trust mearl completely. I love rob and sherry the most. I don't think they'll vote me out. I don't fucking care about this challenge but I have to act like I do. I actually was willing to stay up all night and do the work and commit my night for it but I can't put in effort if no one else will. Yesterday when I tried to bring it up no one cared. I'm really drunk. Also um Seamus and I worked out our differences but like I'd still vote him out. Luke and I promised to work together but I'd still vote him out. I'll vote anyone out I don't give a fuck. Also Crow has been ignoring me for like all day. So it's clear he's only social when you're on a tribe with him, same with Dustin. I think I've decided I'm most loyal to Cole and rob in this game and maybe Sid and zack.

One minute later:

I AM GOING TO DESTROY EVERYONE 

I WANT THEM ALL DEAD 

I WILL END THEM

Jaiden accidentally threw the challenge for our tribe. THANK GOD. Now I don't have to do it. Sherry and Jaiden both fucked up for the tribe and the target is off of me. At tribal I'm going to be targeting Liana or Zack. Probably Liana. I have Jaiden and Dom with me 100% for now, and crow is probably gonna be smart and vote with the majority. Liana doesn't talk to me so she doesn't need to be here. Simple as that. Zack doesn't talk to me much either, but Amir likes him, and I think crow does too. Zack can go next time.

I don't even know what's happening with this challenge. I think I lost it by accident for everyone but they're all causing unnecessary chaos around camp so I need to just sit down and shut up. Tomorrow one of us will be voted out I'm assuming, so I'll do whatever it takes to make sure it's Liana or Crow and not me. As it stands in the game right now, I've been able to go on private calls with Seamus, Bodhi, Dom, and Tommy. I'd say those four are my closest friends and allies at this point (but I don't want to speak too soon since the game has only just begun). I still need to work on getting into good graces with the rest of the players I wanna work with this season, so we'll see how successful I am with that. Also, I think I've formed an alliance with Bodhi and Dom. Like I said from the get-go, I won't take this alliance too seriously because I know that they can kiss my ass in calls and PMs but still say only bad things about me in confessionals. I'll trust them only as far as I can throw them and see how things go if we do end up going to tribal. I think this swap worked out pretty well in my favor and I couldn't be happier with how it turned out.

So before I came back to orgs this year the last ones I played were 2014/early 2015 and in those games I managed to go really far by doing the least and I feel like that’s what Cole remembers me as and I feel like he views me as a potential drag-along ally, one that he can always go back to as he makes shady deals with everyone else. What he doesn’t realize though is that I’m that bitch with the pristine memory and know he wins/goes far in so many of his games and knows that he’s been active all these years and knows everyone. Whether or not he actually is working with Sid, I just know he has a lot of connections in a lot of different places and in a one world season it would just be stupid to let someone like that reach a point where he can connect with others and fuck things up for everyone. ALSO SIS HAS THE NERVE TO BE A FLAMING FAGGOT IN EVERY CHAT AND CALL BUT WHEN HE GETS TO MY PMS HE SUDDENLY TURNS INTO BRITNEY’S MIC FEED! I spoke to Tommy last night and he’s on the same page and I don’t think it should be hard to get others on board…if we choose to do so bc I still don’t have any use for Sid at all whatsoever lmao.

Dearest Liana, Please speak to me. I'd like to not have an easy tribal! I adore going to tribal council, but you are making this too easy for me. With love, Bodhi.

I don't believe I've ever touched on WHY I throw so many challenges. The answer is simple. Tribal council is a wonderful group bonding excersize. If you can go into the merge with a group of 2-4 people, you'll have some people with as much trust as you can manage. There's another big facet to this, being that tribes that don't go to tribal council have a lot of time to stir up feelings of wanting other people out. People on cutthroat are going to be so willing to flip on their tribes it's not even funny. These people almost all feel like they have something to prove, and if you can just give them time to get bored, they'll be making big moves at the merge like no ones business. Tribal loyalty will not exist in that much of a sense on this season. One of the biggest advantages of having a tribe swap from 4 tribes this early is that there isn't the whole "day one alliance" that can sometimes unify a tribe. Everyone is on a tribe with someone that they want out of the game, and once those people get their ways, there will be new people who want revenge. Ideally, there will be one more swap, and neither of these first two sets of tribes will matter to anyone except for me and whoever I'm loyal too. I'm making ties with folks on the other side so that when we swap again I won't need to scramble or anything. I'll just need to sit back and watch people take each other out.

Well after that challenge fiasco, I still have little hope of winning immunity.....however at least we are submitting something semi-legitimate? I just really really don't wanna go to tribal again so soon....especially with so many quiet/shady characters. We have a solid idea in my opinion but it'll be a swing or miss sort of idea. As far as my tribe.....Zack says he's on my side and loyal to me til the end but A) He hardly talks to me on his own B) This is fucking Cutthroat Island Bodhi and I are supposed to be close but he's smart and tricky so I don't really trust him... Jaiden is a known troll but somehow one of the people I like?? (why do i find myself closer to trolls than norms..*ahem* Kyle) Liana is a fucking ghost. This girl just appears in the main chat once a millennium, hardly replies to pms, and doesn't even seem to care?? If we were to lose, my money would be on her leaving. Bodhi already suggested it to me actually.... Dommy is the chillest of them all and maybe will be someone I can use? But I don't know if he's closer to myself or Bodhi, which will be crucial down the line... Or maybe this tribe's flops are part of some mastermind machination to blindside me pre-merge. I don't even know at this point. My strategy pre-merge (considering GL pre-merge was....non-existent for me...) is to build as many bonds as strong as I can and go with the flow. Big moves that make your target bigger are p.o.i.n.t.l.e.s.s until at least jury! No one in finale talks about "yea that second vote where I flipped" cuz its so far in the past! The #1 goal should be survival - not control. Plus, the more targets that make merge, the better for me. Let the elite make it to merge and let the bloodbath begin while I fly through the underworld completely invisible to the finale <3 :D

And we're back! After Sherry pulling off a beautiful idol play round 1, I have a new vigor for this game! Amir survived his tribal as well! Things are looking good, everyone. But wait! I spoke too soon. Satan himself announced a FUCKING TRIBE SWAP. Okay, calm down, Sid. Now you have a chance to be with Sherry or Amir, right? Wrong. Austin's fucking Sorting Hat rip-off kept me on Sagu while Sherry and Amir are living it up on Magyi and Liana is stuck on Yangbye. What's worse, Nu Sagu is a 4 Yangbye, 1 Magyi, 1 Sagu split. WHAT STARS HAD TO ALIGN TO MAKE SURE I GET SWAP FUCKED IN EVERY GAME? I DON'T EVEN HAVE AN IDOL. (Speaking of, Sherry told me the clue Stevie got. Apparently the Idol is under 12 and Sherry found her's at 11. But, now I don't know why Stevie is giving out clues unless he found one. Hm.) But whatever. I'm screwed on Nu Sagu because Stevie is an egomaniac who I'm pretty sure wants me out, and I don't know who these other 4 are. Tommy said he'd work with me, but how much do I trust him? Or like even like him? Minimal. My only hope rests in this challenge, so I stepped up to edit our lipsync (And I think it can win us this challenge!). Also, the submitter of the winning tribe gets an idol clue! DOPE! Since I'm editing, I should be able to submit. Apparently not. Cole asks in the tribe chat if he could submit because he wants the clue. THE FUCK? NO I THINK THE FUCK NOT. I've been editing for hours, and all you had to do was twerk on camera for 3 minutes. And I doubt Cole is really a stranger to that, whereas I had to learn Movie Maker for this fuck-up of a tribe. So I said "yah sure" because I'm in a clear minority, but I have a plan. Even though I finished the video hours before the deadline, I'll pretend like I'm rushing to finish it. And in my rush, I submitted it on accident! I'm sure he'll see through my plans, but I'll have 2 idol clues, AND I think we'll have immunity with my video. Right now, I think working with Tommy or Abel is my best shot to survive if we go to tribal... ALSO P.S. Sherry, Amir and I have finalized our alliance. It's called "THREEVIL" (Three + Evil) and it is so fucking awesome! I love these two with all my heart. <3 <3 <3

This is some bullshit. I'm not about to do this challenge solo and still lose. Why did crow make a big fucking deal about it? We could've gotten a DECENT score on this shit and at least I submitted something???? Even fucking dom who is online all the fucking time isn't here to do shit 

if Me getting that ottn5 edit this episode huh. I'll really go off at tribal council when the time comes because we're clearly losing.

Everyone the past few days: 

https://68.media.tumblr.com/0590f2ef9171d9c120daa59db8f36233/tumblr_inline_oj6u3b7XBj1snhjdw_500.gif Me: Hey we should probably do this challenge! 

Everyone: https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-09/22/14/enhanced/webdr10/anigif_enhanced-11075-1411411562-9.gif Me: Guess I'm doing this on my own... 

This is what I've come up with so far! Everyone @ me because apparently it sucks: https://media.tenor.com/images/72c91bf233275e5da4c66dae418829e2/tenor.gif 

Me, internally: http://68.media.tumblr.com/baebe363529713f2fdee2b9047d27d47/tumblr_osadyruIyd1rt5ctno1_250.gif ... Me tomorrow night after we lose this challenge and they unanimously vote me out: http://wwwimage.cbsstatic.com/thumbnails/photos/files/asset/10/00/35/45/bronte-big-brother-eviction.gif

Day 7 Confessional 4: Ugh okay so lots of tea to spill. So i voted in the minority on the special tribal and Nehe left which like doesn’t matter much. But then we immediately tribe swap and my new tribe is amir luke mearl rob sherry and myself. Amir immediately approaches me and tells me he is angry that i was telling Nehe that he and Zack were a final 2 which never happened. I finally convinced him that it wasn’t true and now we are golden and Zack and I half made up too. But basically from the moment i got onto this tribe i started desiring another tribe swap because our tribe literally sucks. Like besides Mearl Rob and myself they literally fucking suck. Sherry is so busy irl, Luke is MIA and im not surprised, and Amir has family issues going on. I kinda hope we lose this challenge so we can send either Luke or Sherry home, then we will have a better chance going forward as a tribe…. Also the winning tribe gets a idol clue and I think I am going to approach them with an offer that I will share mine (I’ll lie about what is says) if they share theirs! But yah as of now I am kinda hoping we lose so we can cut some loser out of this damn game. 

So there was a tribe swap. Yippeee. No, not really. My whole original tribe ends up sticking together but of course I get separated. Thats alright, just means I'm going to make more connections I can use later down the line. Change is a positive thing right? Wrong. My tribe sucks ass. And I don't like sucking ass. If you do then think of whatever unpleasantry you wish instead.   First impressions- Luke- Ugh. I voted him out five times in a row in GL. I have a feeling he isn't exactly going to trust me. I tried to strengthen a bond but it seems so artificial on his part. Amir- Seems like somebody that can be a strong ally. I'm glad Amir is here. Seamus- First impression tells me to watch out or Seamus but he is wooing me in... but I'm aware that his wooing is why I wanted to watch out for him in the first place. Rob- Don't really know. Blah? Hopefully a potential ally. Sherry- I had a good conversation with her the night before the swap (when it appeared she was going home) so was happy to see her on my tribe. I figured that she'd be somebody that I could utilize... well lady is crazy and forgetful because she forgot the conversation we had and was asking me about myself and telling me things about her that she had told me less than 24 hours earlier... like scroll up. You can play the mother card and thats fine but when you are a no show in challenges (seems to be a trend) I have no problem voting my mom out. So the first challenge comes along... the dreaded lip sync. I hate this challenge. Hate it. HATE IT. Its just so blah. I hate singing. I hate dancing. And of course I'm busy but nobody else is able to edit a video (or wants to). Whatever.. then it gets worse. People aren't even fucking sending me videos. Like they missed deadllines and just flat out ignore me when I ask if they are giving me anything or not. I tell them that I need to know so that I can start editing the video if I'm not going to receive anything but nothing. Like I have just as much content 6 hours before the challenge is due as I did 48 hours before but I wasn't working on it because I figured I'd get more. So now I need to piece meal together shit and find shit and try and make it look nice. I mean I'm a creative guy I guess so lets see what I can do. For this challenge all I received was a piece of poop so I put it between two slices of bread and I’m hoping the judges like shit sandwiches. I really hope my efforts pay off because I don't wanna be going to tribal yet. Im not sure where I stand but I'm hoping this challenge has put me in a good spot.

First things first, fuck my old tribe! they literally like...don't even attempt to reply to me since the swap and its becoming really apparent whos genuine and who will play nice just for the game so as far as I care, they can all leave I don't give a fuck. However, I hope zack and crow don't go over someone like liana at the upcoming tribal. people like liana stevie tommy crow etc are able to lie so convincingly and make it seem like theyre on your side like....they can literally lie like sociopaths and no one in this game is allowed to have that quality except for me so they can fking go! I feel like I have a lot of those relationships right now, like circumstantial allies. I feel that way about Mearl, zack, crow, dustin, sid, sherry and even luke The people I fully trust right now are rob and cole and MAYBE Bodhi. everyone else is dead to me. Also why am I the only Canadian in this cast full of American freaks me trying to fit in with the americans: https://vine.co/v/e1EFMxhDZOB/card?api=1 Psa: do you guys think im the type of boy who wont send nudes to stay safe in a game, because youre 100% wrong. I am an adult, if another adult wants to see me arse for an idol clue or some shit, ill take it! Also talking about idol clues "hickory dickory dock, the number you are looking for is on the clock" The idol is right under your nose I think its jungle 9. because table is under the nose and 9 is under 12 lets try that next time lmao abel is.....LIKE...not smart. sweet guy but he asked me to have a secret final 2 within like five seconds of speaking for the first time and then told me im a good social player who'll make it far. not the best way to make me want you on the island buddy I love flirting with guys in games because its like playing pretend when the truth is the only thing that turns me on is voting them all out http://68.media.tumblr.com/bf80ec6181ee7722e81fba5665a78426/tumblr_o319g3ZJhR1uwwhj6o2_250.gif

Well, I'm safe another week so that's good right? Still annoyed that my tribe didn't win immunity, like we did so well and we honestly lip synced and I actually slayed everyone in the lip sync.... Oh well. I want to win something, I want to prove to the community that I'm a strong player physically and not just socially. I'm just grateful to be here right now, I don't think a lot of people see me as a threat but I could be wrong. I just want to make jury right now and prove it to myself I really am a bad bitch!

Last round, I was an iconic mess. I was able to flip the vote against Sherry, however she played her idol and voted for Ali. BUT! because I was in the pool and I removed my vote in case anything changed, I self-voted even though I gave a vote a minute late about it was close so grr. It tied between me and Ali and everyone minus Sherry voted against Ali. Wooh! I'm ready for my CPN/M4 edit. I am devastated that Ali is gone I really do trust him. I connected with him and he had NOBODY. We swapped like I predicted and it's 3 tribes of 6. I am on the Magwhy tribe with myself, Sherry, Seamus, Mearl, Amir, and Luke. I think I am in a decent position on this tribe. Seamus I feel has a certain degree of trust in me, he thinks he can control which I'm fine go ahead do it. Mearl I've been working on getting him to like me and I think he might, I did a lot for the challenge I went all out and I've been praising him which he did a great job. Amir LOVES me and the feeling is mutual. Amir is just so much fun and I want to be like him. I want to be like Amir when I'm older. Luke... I'm on good terms with but I want him out tbh because I am petty and he's a threat. Him being depressed, is to my advantage and that sucks for him I guess? Sherry, I don't know where I stand with her, we said during the vote last time we should work together, and she knew Ali was going, but she's blowing smoke up my ass. I'll try to work with her, but I doubt I'm going to talk to her. If we do have conversations I see it being strictly game which I despise. The video is a lip sync and we originally did something that Sherry did because we were sort of reluctant to throw ideas and I liked it. I felt it was a song I could do and people at first were like yeah. The thing is, skype is a fickle fickle bitch. It updated and I asked if we were doing All Summer Long and i got no reply. I filmed my video which was lit tbh because I had my sister help me out and she's a theater kid (tm) psycho.  I had it done and ready but then out of nowhere my messages update and I see at the same time when I sent the previous message they responded and they decided to change it to calling all the monsters. Like??? WHO THE FUCK CARES IF SHERRY HAS ALREADY DONE IT DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WILL ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT THAT? HELL NO AND THEN YOU USE THE SAME EXACT FOOTAGE FROM HER VIDEO WHAT A BUNCH OF DUMBASSES STFU. Anyways we win because Mearl pulled God's work and I'm shook because Saggy's was so good too. Abel as Valentina ctfu. I saw yangbye's too and it was hilarious i loved it Heather did amazing. I heard it was mean but I don't really think so? I mean Jaiden got it from her youtube videos so it's public domain and people could gif it anyways from there. The hosts got pretty pissy though like they weren't bad at all imo I enjoyed all three of them like sure maybe Yangbye could have been more active in their video but it was still a funny product. I'm active and I'm not a threat so I don't think I'm in a bad spot. Goat me! 

I don't feel great about this vote....but what I've heard from Zack and Bodhi is that it's an easy vote for Liana - but I no like easy votes cuz usually they aren't!