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#but i would never endanger myself
initforthecache · 2 years
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When I'm of legal age I'm going to post a drunk review of Tangled the Series to my youtube channel. I'm just gonna take a shot everytime Rapunzel does something stupid and by the end of the first season I will have blacked out
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keeps-ache · 4 months
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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strikersin · 2 months
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I also just hate that the idea of being delusional could land me in so much hot water down the line, I don't want to be disregarded and sent away. I don't want to lose the kids I don't even have because of someone else's judgement. I just want to paint when I'm 40. I'm probably dealing with enough grief by then and it's just day to day. Trying to live in the moment and do my best
#and i just can't forgive you guys for that... even though it's not real and hasnt happened#i guess maybe what i can't do is forgive mys— was i about to type myself? hold that thought#i was going to say i can't forgive my parents and it's pinging off that very polished shield because i never let myself feel angry about it#in the first place. you know? i skipped straight to acceptance because no amount of bargaining was going to get me out of that situation.#ok. ok. no it's my bad. I'll take whatever comes out of this. <- even this is extremely reductive. i need an echelon of words to regard—#even the subject.#um. but maybe it's actually that I can't forgive myself for being in that position in the first place. for bringing that situation on myself#...#and i can't forgive myself for whatever I will do that will bring about this hypothetical future loss and excursion into pain and loneliness#if i just kept everything to myself and never let anyone in then nobody would ever... i mean nothing like that could ever happen#and that's what I did the first time. extreme isolation. ask me how it went#but sharing nything still feels like <cosmic boom> it's so calculated and careful and... is it? i can't say anything. i can't even look at-#myself.#anything that would upset my dad has to be thrown out the window. anything that would endanger my family is gone. it just. has to be.#my entire me is just... smoke waiting to go up in flames. that's nonsensical#i want to go home. i want to be 5 years old but actually three. and i want my older brother to not be angry with me.#i miss Chiron i miss Paulie i miss... the fluid nature of things. and light. i miss you stupidhead. i want to go home.#anyway ok that's enough for this entry!#but yeah i never could forgive myself if i *brought it on myself* nd more importantly. can't stress this enough. on us#it doesn't even matter if i am crazy if i need help because. that in itself endangers the family. do you see? so i can't have it
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snekdood · 10 months
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i just think hes neat
#im basically just broly if he was smaller and shorter and whinier with elf ears#so what im saying is im basically broly and kish fused dsfnbvsvdhgfshgdgfhv#kish minus all the weird creepy shit#maybe links in there too. oh oh and beast boy obvs.#idk who else#maybe a hint of goku bc im worried i have the same dumb drive to challenge myself and push my limits or whatever#at least i wont endanger my family............................................................ right? right???#my bf was wondering why i identify w broly bc of him blowing up that one planet or whatever#(never mind the entire galaxy he blew up tho ig) but thats obviously not the reason.#its the whole 'becoming an invincible destructive force of nature that has bouts of wanting to Break Things often and usually bc#of being pushed to that edge by other people' thing#you dont get it u-u i need to go to one of those places where i can SMASH shit u--u. im just that kinda guy u---u.#and sometimes it is fun to imagine smashing ur enemies even though you probably would never do that and in fact imagining it#satisfies you enough kinda deal yaknow#as cheesy and on brand as it is for me rn i just love destroying shit and i always have im sorry im this way blame god ik i have been#maybe he shouldnt have made the sound of rocks crumbling and glass breaking etc sound so good huh? ya ever think of that??#anyways i find when i suppress these emotions it just boils up until i explode which i think only leads to more of a chance of me actually#hurting someone instead. when i pretend to be cute and flowery and people pleasey- it only makes me more resentful. but thats the#only version of me people seem willing to tolerate. and i dont think they realize how much THAT makes me resent them too#im not an innocent frail delicate uwu bean i will literally eat you 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪#idk. its not like i want ppl to fear me either. but sometimes it feels like thats the only way to stop ppl from disrespecting me#maybe if ppl didnt assume me being nice and Not trying to start fights is a sign of being weak maybe i wouldnt feel like its necessary#to intimidate ppl to scare them away from me.#i promise babe you are Not getting away with it- i just know better not to start a scene. especially among other whities like me#yall will be vocally violent about whoever behind their backs over and over and if im the guy who actually confronts you suddenly im#the only one being an asshole. im simply playing YOUR game with you. you wanna be dishonest and hide behind a fake smile then so will i#and ill just sit here and wait until you break. and then everyone can call you crazy and confrontational instead!#i hate white people (yes ik i am a white people... doesn't mean i cant hate the way a lot of white ppl act)#things could be so much easier if you weren't a coward and just spoke your mind about how you distrust me and how quick you were#to find reasons to back up your mistrust. we coulda ended it there and avoided eachother. but now we gotta pretend we like eachother ig.
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beeseverywhen · 1 year
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Oversharing time:
Just remembered years ago when I was working in a pretty high up office block and they were having to write a fire plan cause my knees are pretty resistant to stairs and management's answer was just that I wait in the burning building until a fireman came to get me, to which I was pretty much like 'yeah I don't think so. I'll make do with the stairs.'
They were really touchy about this and were like 'we need to account for your disability, we can't leave you to do stairs by yourself when we know you might not be able to' so they wanted me to pick a 'buddy' as in a colleague that would evacuate by my side. So i pick 2 of my friends (one as a backup) and the manager is still like 'but what if your leg isn't working that day what do we do' and she's also like 'I didn't even know you knew him, why is he your first pick?' So I'm like, look off record, I've picked buddy 1 for a reason. He isn't my closest work friend but I do know he's capable of carrying me down the stairs if necessary and the manager is like, have you asked him if he can do that? And I'm like. No. I know he can. Don't sweat it.
And she's going look, I know you're small but you can't just assume that any man is capable of carrying you down multiple flights of stairs, he could have a weak back and I'm like, look I 100% know he can carry me, trust me. She kept questioning it until I was eventually like 'look I know he can because we are friends outside of work and he has carried me, easily, before' and tried to shut down the convo.
This unfortunately seemed to raise more questions which was awkward because in reality we were not particularly close friends in or outside of work, it was just that I'd been lowkey fucking him on and off for years (in that messed up early 20s, we could make each other worse kind of way) and knew that he could very easily fuck me standing up for an extended period. We were not friends because we didn't particularly like each other lol but I did trust that he would not leave anyone to burn in a fire, and that carrying me down those flights of stairs would be no sweat off his back
#anyway in the end a few years down the line someone in a health and safety meeting thought to ask why i had an emergency plan#and when it came up that sometimes unpredictabily my leg just straight up didn't work. they were like.this person can't evacuate with stair#what if her leg stops working midway down?#answer: the adrenaline from the fact I'm escaping a burning building would undoubtedly allow me to power through using the working leg#its happened to me enough times with nobody there that I've learnt that with adrenaline you really can do the impossible#if really really needing to pee is enough to allow me to hop/pull myself up stairs despite unimaginable pain I'm#sure a fire will be no trouble#tbh i don't disagree that the stairs weren't a great option. but they had NO alternative. there wasnt a lower floor i could work on#they straight up wanted me to wait in the lift lobby and cross my fingers that when the firefighters arrived they'd let me use the lift#even tho 95% of the time my leg was completely fine and i didnt come in to work on the days it wasnt working#and when i tried to argue against the 'standing in a burning building' plan.#they made out that by choosing to use the stairs in an emergency situation where there was no safe alternative and my leg would likely#be fine. i was 'endangering everyone around me' because what if leg stops working when halfway down stairs? (which has never happened)#like what is that argument? anyone can trip and break their leg on a staircase. my disability doesn't make me a bomb waiting to go off#after years of fighting this. they eventually decided if i really didn't want the (frankly discriminatory) plan. i could sign a document#that pretty much said i was taking on all liability should something go wrong as i was evacuating (not waiving their liability. actually#accepting full liability if for any reason i blocked the stairs and affected other ppls evacuation. so if someone tripped me and i broke a#leg. i'd be responsible for any slowing down of the floors above evacuation unlike literally anyone else in the building in that situation#and this is an office block with 1 set of narrow stairs for everyone which had to be pushing saftey regs any way#don't get me wrong. i don't think that would have held up in any court. but i wasnt about to sign it. was a real 'just cause discrimination#is illegal doesn't mean employers will act in good faith' moment. they could have spoken to the fire department looked at me working from#home. literally anything. but they weren't interested in finding alternatives. it seemed perfectly reasonable for them to ask me to#stand in a burning building. and it wasn't like i could afford to take them to court/ lose my job.#the managers hosting these meetings didn't agree but had no choice. none of my colleagues could believe it. nobody outside of work could#was a very. 'disabilty rights in the workplace are not where we like to think they are' moment. After they had everyone working from home#during covid. with everything working fine and all the equipment sorted. they actually asked me to come back in to the office#and i was like. oh the office i can't safely evacuate in a fire? i don't fucking think so.#in the end when i got ill and had to consider if there was anything i could do to make it work. this was top of my mind#i knew i couldn't trust them to be reasonable with making adjustments when it came to health&disability issues#and this was a big company that went out of their way to hire disabled ppl and pat themselves on the back. but when it came to it.
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fairuzfan · 3 months
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I wouldn't have won The International Women's Media Foundation (@IWMF)'s Courage in Journalism Award 2024 this June if I hadn’t been on the ground reporting events and exposing Israeli flagrant violations under perilous conditions, all while being systematically attacked by supporters of the perpetrators.
Winning a prize for “courage” means being subjected to attacks and choosing to continue your work regardless. However, I regret to say that the very organization that recognized these perilous conditions and awarded me the prize succumbed to pressure and chose to act contrary to courage; they rescinded the award in a decision that would put my life at risk.
In fact, I’m very glad that both my winning the award and its withdrawal have starkly demonstrated the systematic physical and moral attacks Palestinian journalists endure throughout their careers. These threats and character assassinations aim only to silence us and perpetuate the longstanding bias in global media. I have never worked to receive awards, nor have I ever submitted an application to nominate myself. I didn't choose journalism as a profession; I became a journalist after recognizing the extent to which the world overlooks Palestinians’ suffering and opts to conform to Israeli pressures.
Every year, Palestinian journalists are recognized with international awards for their brave reporting under the Israeli occupation and relentless attacks. These accolades honor their courage and dedication to uncovering the truth.
However, each announcement of an award to a Palestinian journalist is systematically followed by extensive smearing campaigns and intense pressure on the awarding organizations from supporters of the Israeli occupation and the Zionist lobby. While some organizations uphold their principles and maintain their decision to honor these journalists, others, regrettably, cave to the pressure and withdraw the prizes.
Instead of recognizing the threats they face and contributing to their protection, a decision to withdraw a prize from a Palestinian journalist in Gaza—where over 150 journalists have been killed by the ongoing Israeli genocide—can further endanger them and increase their risk of targeting.
I have no regrets about any posts or reasons that led to the rescinding of this award, and I will not stop expressing my views. Before being a journalist, I am a Palestinian living under military occupation, a strangling blockade, and genocide in Gaza.
My grandparents were expelled from Jerusalem upon the creation of the state of Israel, and I have been expelled from my home in Gaza during this genocide.
If winning a prize entails enduring and witnessing war crimes while remaining silent, I am not honored to receive any prizes. I will always be objective in my reporting, but I can never be neutral; I will always point out the perpetrators and stand in solidarity with the victims. This is what journalism is truly about.
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dark-night-hero · 4 months
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You hate Gojo Satoru. He who says he'll be there when you wake up but always in the morning when you wake up, he was nowhere in sight. Dishes left unclean in the sink with his dirty laundry all over the floor left for you to be picked up.
You hate Gojo Satoru. He who promised to protect you but left you once he heard his friends- his students were endanger. He who would leave you in a heart beat, telling you others needed him- his students needed him. What about you? Don't you need protection too?
You hate Gojo Satoru. He who always scolds you for your carelessness, but laughs his carelessness off like it was no big deal. Even when he's hurt he always laugh it off, telling you he was fine, he was the strongest after all.
You hate Gojo Satoru. He who tells you he would be there back by your side by midnight. Only for you to left the cold dishes on the table as you take a rest for the night. Those heartfelt made dishes left untouched as you have no appetite left for the night.
You hate Gojo Satoru. He who has many secrets to keep, responsibilities to meet. He who no matter how many times you tell him to rest, keep it easy, would only push himself even more. Sometimes, you thought like for once, you just want him to be normal. Back to his old self, something that was too much to ask. The two of you have already lost a lot. You do not want to lose him too.
But you love Gojo Satoru. He who even thought was not by your side upon waking up would not forget to cook you a meal before he left home, a single note saying there was an emergency mission and he's sorry he could not be there by your side as he promised he'll be. On the bottom saying he had already but your remaining laundry in the washing machine and that he'll be bringing dinner later and that Megumi and this other students might come too. Also saying sorry for leaving his clothes in a hurry and for leaving the dirty dishes on the sink.
But you love Gojo Satoru. He who knew you needed no protection, you are strong after all. Nevertheless was always there on your toughest times. "Need a help, babe?" There he was leaning over the wall, ready to step in at any moment. "No." "Aw come on babe, the more you get the job done early, means we can come home early too. Allow me to step i-" "Satoru. I can handle this." "'Kay." He pout like a child causing you to roll your eyes and finish the curse in one attack. "Let's go." You spoke, offering a hand to him in which he gladly take, pulling you close to him. "I knew you could handle them." He spoke, kissing the crown of your head.
But you love Gojo Satoru. He who despite never seemed to listen to everyone's word could never go on and ignore you. "I'm sorry." He was kneeling in front of you. Arms and legs crossed, you questioned him. "I'm sorry for what?" "For being a careless individual and getting myself in danger for playing around too much." He pout, blue iris seemed to be looking at you with puppy eyes as if he wss expecting you to let him off so easily. "You knew that was the case. Why still act like that? Look at your students, do you think you're being a good exam..." As you continue to rant off and scold there teacher, the trio that was silently listening and watching starts to shiver. "Remind me not to pissed off Gojo sensei's lover." In return, Megumi could only shrug. He have seen this scene for a long time now.
But you love Gojo Saturo. He who know who to make things right when be fucked up. "Hi." Thats what he said when you saw him creeping inside your shared room at night. In his hands were flowers and some kind of sweets. "Why are you standing in there like a cre-" "I'm sorry, there was a emergency mi-" "It's alright." You were not made that he missed your promised night. Just disappointed, but looking at his guilt written face. All of those disappointment just fades away. "Come here. Are you hurt? Have you eaten yet? If not, how about I warm up the foods and eat?" You smile at him before taking those flowers and sweet in this arms. Not to long he pull you in an embrace. "Thank you." "Hmm."
But you love Gojo Satoru. So that means taking care of his responsibilities- his students while he is gone. "Are you okay?" It was Megumi as he sat down right next to you. "I am." You lied. You are not okay, not when everything is falling apart, not when everything is fucked up, not when it seems like everyone is putting the blame on your love one. Not when your lover is sealed off, unknown how and when to be released. "I'll be okay, Megumi." You pat the boy in the should as you stood up. "Let's get going shall we?"
You love Gojo Satoru, so you have to let him go. With the two of you stand by each other just staring at the ruined city cause by the return of the King of the Curses, he felt him take a hold of your hand. "I'll be back." He spoke, kissing the back of your hand. You smile painfully at him, "Will you?" "I will, I promise. Aren't I the strongest?" He laughs. "... don't make a promise you can't keep, Satoru." Kissing away the tear rolling down your cheek. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "Be safe, okay? Satoru.."
[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°
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sweet-as-an-angel · 2 years
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König x Petite Reader Headcanons
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Warnings: Non-Explicit Implications of Sexual Content, Petite Reader, Size Kink, Jealous König, Insecure König, Implied 141 x Reader, Petnames, No Pronouns used for Reader except ‘You’.
A/N: Forgot that I'd already written this once before, so here we are with more König x Petite Reader Headcanons ! Just see this as some extra content for our beloved König and his smol s/o <3
When it comes to you, this man is F E R A L
Genuinely cannot believe how perfect you are.
Constantly jokes about how he could fit you in the palm of his hand.
And once, to shut him up, you proved him right by sitting on his open hand when he wasn’t expecting it and gave him a smug look.
“There,” you said, folding your arms over your chest. “You can fit me in your palm.”
König tried not to think of how close he was to your special parts, how warm you felt on him.
He had to disappear to the bathroom for a few minutes afterwards, and when he returned, his face was flushed and he could barely look you in the eye.
He’s never been the same after that. Any trace of a size kink he had before has been amplified to such an extent that he’s taken to hiding your clothes so you’ll have to wear his.
And he just can’t keep his hands off you whenever you do.
“My my, Engel,” he says, one hand sliding around your waist and pulling you closer to him, the other drawing the hem of his shirt further and further up your thighs.
“What could you be hiding under here ?”
Calls you his Mini Maus.
“Because you’re just so tiny and precious !” he gushes.
And since you’re so small compared to him, he treats you as if you’re fragile, like an endangered species of flower.
Concerning intimacy at the beginning of your relationship, König was concerned that he was too big for you.
But, when you put his mind at ease (and challenge him) – “I bet I can take you, Köni~” – you’re in for it.
König’s fighting spirit won’t let you off easy.
When he’s feeling more dominant, he bunches your wrists into one of his hands while he sits on top of you, his other hand slipping beneath your (his) shirt and slithering round the band of your underwear.
“Pretty little thing,” he says, a dangerous smile at his lips. “All weak and defenseless.” He leans down, his eyes dark and wild. “Just for me.”
If you try to struggle (consensually), he’ll smack you through your underwear. And not gently, either.
“Don’t test me, Mini,” he says, his grip about your wrists tightening. “You don’t know what I’m like when I’m angry.”
He loooooves fitting his hands around your waist.
Especially when he finds that his hands wrap around your middle and his fingers touch.
Size kink: upgraded.
He gets lowkey jealous if you ask someone else to reach something for you.
Will sulk about it.
“I just don’t see why you had to ask Ghost to get it for you,” he’ll say, frowning as he lies in bed.
You sigh, putting your book down.
“König, you weren’t even here !” you say. “And I was starving !”
König knows he’s being unreasonable, but he can’t help but feel like he can be easily replaced.
Especially when he knows the rest of the 141 would gladly drop everything to be with you.
He’s not stupid, he’s seen the way they look at you.
A few minutes alone together and a kind word – “You’re so perfect, Köni~ My big, big boy,” – will set him straight.
Loves showing you off to his friends. His acquaintances aren’t safe, either.
He’ll stand you before him and show you off to his associates like: ”Look, this is my partner ! Aren’t they beautiful ?!”
So help him god if anyone tries to show you up or disagree.
You’ll never see them again.
And neither will anyone else.
König loves you more than life itself, and regardless of his insecurities or your unwavering ability to have anyone you could ever want, he’s glad you chose him <3
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist
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harunayuuka2060 · 7 months
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MC's sister: *has trouble breathing and couldn't move a single muscle*
MC: Are you feeling any discomfort? *holding the sleeping Liora in their arms*
MC's father and brother: ...
MC's father: MC... Please stop this. I'm certain your sister didn't know-
MC: Of course. Since you raised her to be an idiot.
MC's father: ...
MC: Father, you must let me punish her.
MC: Because if not, then I will let the Kingscholars take care of her.
MC: And you know what will happen after that.
MC's brother: Fair enough.
MC's brother: Let's go, father.
MC's father: But-
MC's brother: They will let her live. Don't worry.
MC's father: ...Very well.
*The two of them left the room*
MC: ...
MC's sister: ...
MC: How lucky you are that Liora is a transcendental like me.
MC: If he wasn't and ended up being killed for your foolish act,
MC: I would break the promise I made to your mother and destroy your heart.
MC: Which I created myself.
MC's sister: *has an expression of fear*
MC: Don't do anything like this again. Are we clear?
MC's sister: *puts every bit of her strength to nod*
MC: Good.
Falena's wife: You must be feeling awful.
MC's former attendant: My apologies, master... I should've been more careful... *in tears*
MC: It's alright. I was careless myself.
Falena's wife: ...
Falena's wife: *could tell that they're still furious*
Falena's wife: Should we call Leona?
MC: ...
MC: Yes.
Falena's wife: *smiles*
Leona: *hugs MC*
MC: I didn't ask you to hug me.
Leona: You're angry. You need one.
MC: ...
MC: It's obvious that you have never been affectionate towards anyone, Leona.
Leona: I know, I know. It's my first time and I'm still learning.
MC: ...
MC: *hugs him back*
Leona: *rubs their back to comfort them*
MC: I have never been scared, Leona. *gripping the back of his shirt*
Leona: ...
MC: *who had never cried in their life, is now in tears*
Leona: *tightens the hug*
Leona: ...
MC's sister: I'm really sorry... I-I didn't know what I was thinking that time...
Leona: ...
Leona: Oh. So you're calling it an 'Oops' situation?
Leona: Lady! You tried to endanger my son's life!
MC's sister: *crying* I am really sorry...
Leona: ...
Leona: MC might've already punished you, but as Liora's father, I won't turn a blind eye to this.
Leona: *stood up from his seat* After leaving this place today, you will no longer hold noble status, and I prohibit you from entering the Royal Palace or coming anywhere near my son and my spouse.
Leona: If you choose to defy me, I will not hesitate to reduce you to nothing but sand.
Leona: *is on his way back to MC when he receives a call from Kalim*
Leona: *answers it* Hello-
Kalim: *crying* LEONAAA!!! IS IT TRUE SOMETHING ALMOST HAPPENED TO LIORA?!!
Jamil: *in the background* Calm down, Kalim.
Leona: *sigh* Yes. How did you know?
Kalim: Ruggie told us! *sniffles* How could anyone do that to a precious baby?!
Leona: ...
Leona: Kalim.
Kalim: Yeah? *sniffles*
Leona: You should pay us a visit. MC will appreciate having support from their friends right now.
Kalim: O-Of course! Jamil and I will be there first thing tomorrow morning!
Leona: Thanks. See you tomorrow. *ends the call*
Leona: *has arrived at their room and sees MC holding Liora protectively in their arms while sleeping against the bed frame*
Leona: ...
Leona: *decides to approach them quietly*
Leona: *sits next to them* *putting an arm around their shoulder and pulling them slightly towards him, causing them to lean over to his side*
Leona: ...
MC: Do not stare at me like that.
Leona: !!!
Leona: You're awake?
MC: Yes. I could feel your stare digging holes in me.
Leona: Well, sorry for waking you up.
MC: It's fine. I was hoping you would.
Leona: ...
Leona: *has a faint blush on his cheeks*
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inkskinned · 1 year
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over time the thing i have had more access to - through healing, maybe, or because i got out of that house, or because i was lucky, or because of those who taught me, or all of it - was this sense of a type of love that was all-encompassing and easy. nonromantic; it wasn't anything rose-colored but rather a world seen through honey.
it is this sense that i am in love with birds, and puddles, and how the nose of my dog moves. i am in love with my best friend's hands, and i am in love with your eyes, and i am in love with the little blades of wildflowers turning their heads towards the sun. today my mother told me one of my favorite flowers - lily of the valley - is endangered. i almost wept. i love them, i said.
when i was younger, and i said i am staying for the love, i thought love could only fit into a single birdwing. like a nesting doll; you could only find love somewhere balled up; hidden. you had to pry first, unlock. it would not absolve; only give you a moment's rest. somehow i thought - that was all.
oh but. this love, now. a love of how trains move, and how clouds scud the blue, and how when i asked does anyone have a bandaid i received offers from each person in the room. it is the love of a grey sunday and of mixing paint and of jazz music and seeing my neighbor sigh while he leashes his dog. this sense that it is all lovely and magical, that it is all romantic. the sense that i am in love with breakfast foods and i am in love with book nooks and i am in love with poetry and plants and how you braid your hair and how we shift our weight at the bus stop; and how each of these flood me, effortless and sleepy, like a memory of something i learned as a baby.
i think tomorrow for practice i will teach myself how to love the grey carpet of my ratty apartment; and how the fibers all hold hands with each other and snuggle into bed together, their forms all spooning. i think tonight i will love how my yoga mat leaves little imprints on my knees; a marathon of sticky kisses where the grooves all begged stay with me please. i think i will love the melon rind and i will love the ugly dark bruise.
while we're at it - although we are apart and have never met, i think right now, dear reader. i love you.
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ronwestbreeze · 1 year
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too fast
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pairing: miguel o'hara x spider!fem!reader warnings: more angst summary: he should've stopped you... word count: 2.4k author's note: this will be the last installment! since we don't know what happens after atsv we're gonna leave it here for now! thanks for giving too slow so much and i hope you enjoy part 2!
part 1
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If Miguel O’Hara had to guess, it all started going downhill when you accidentally discovered that your sister was going to die. It wasn’t supposed to happen, you finding out. Like everything else in a Spider person’s life, it was a canon event that was bound to happen, a significant event that would truly make you who you were now. The White Spider. An event that would happen naturally, like all tragic ones do.
Because the truth was, they happen. And there was nothing you could do to stop it.
That’s what Miguel tried to tell you. That if you tried to interfere, then your dimension would unravel just as his did. He didn’t want that for you. Couldn’t want that for you. There were worse fates and that was one of them.
But of course, you were determined.
“Don’t tell me to stand by and let it happen, Miguel, all because of some stupid canon shit. Don’t tell me that.” You gritted out as you stalked down the hall, him right behind you.
“I am, Domino.” Miguel argued desperately. “I am telling you not to endanger your dimension over something that is supposed to happen. I am doing this to protect you—“
You whirled around on him, causing Miguel to stop short in front of you, “This is your way of protecting me? By telling me to stand by and let my sister die all because of some computer program?! Be fucking for real, Miguel!”
“Yes, because I know the dangers of what’s going to happen if you—”
“No, Miguel, no you don’t.” It hurt, your words. You knew what he had gone through, what he had lost. But you were too stubborn. He knew this. “I’m gonna try. Because that’s what we do. We try even if the odds are against us. That’s what all this shit that happened to me has led up to, right? Why stop now?”
It wasn’t like Miles Morales. No, this was before he learned that there were more forceful ways to stop something like this from happening.
He should’ve stopped you.
But things just fell apart too fast for him to keep up in the end.
Miguel practically dove through the portal to your dimension with Jessica and a few other Spider-men at his side. The crisis was a disaster. The Brooklyn Bridge was halfway in the water, cars either destroyed or hanging by black webs made by you. Immediately, Miguel and the others played damage control. There was yet another villain that had escaped their world and fell into another. This time it was a Green Goblin. One large enough to do this much damage.
It didn’t take long for Miguel to spot your white suit swinging about frantically, your head turning quickly every second. Which meant he had arrived just in time to stop you from making the biggest mistake you could’ve ever made for yourself and your universe. Miguel kept his eyes glued to you while leading people to safety. Until he spotted your sister’s car being thrown up in the air, quickly being caught by your black webs.
You were at the top of the bridge, trying to convince your sister to calm down, revealing your identity to her. Miguel landed on top of the bridge, you sent him a scowl and raised your hand, “Don’t!”
“You know what will happen, Domino.” He tried warning you. “One life or an entire universe? Over other families? Other brothers and sisters? What then?!”
You ignored him and shot a web down to your sister to grab onto. “If I don’t do this, then I will never forgive myself. I’m not like you, Miguel.” You looked at him pleadingly, desperately. “I can’t—”
The green hulking figure hurtled right into you, taking both you and Miguel off guard.
Your grip on your sister slipped but she was able to grab onto another web and hold on while you were preoccupied with the Green Goblin. A wave of rage—fear?—hit Miguel as he dashed toward the ugly beast, using his whole weight to throw it off of you and tackled it down to the ground.
“You don’t get to touch her!” He growled, pounding the goblin’s face until it was finally unconscious.
The bridge began to fall. Jessica began ordering every spider person around to quickly gather all the civilians left on the bridge. The top of the bridge where your sister was hanging began to crumble and Miguel watched as you swung back toward her.
He should’ve stopped this long before. He shouldn’t have let it get this far.
You were already dashing across the top of the bridge, Miguel had ended up behind you in seconds. You glanced over your shoulder at him, “Miguel, don’t!”
But he ignored you and shot his scarlet webs toward your figure. But of course, you were quicker than him, You always were.
His webs had missed. The web holding your sister up snapped. She was falling.
And you had dived after her.
Miguel leaped off the bridge, shot a thick web toward you and above him. In seconds the fall had stopped. You were now hanging and attached to Miguel’s web while the other half of his web kept him attached to what was left of part of the bridge.
But your webs had already been released.
You had already caught her.
No. No. No. No. No.
You had been too fast for him.
When the adrenalin cooled down a bit, you shot your head up at him, the angered glare evident on your face, “Were you really about to fucking stop me?!”
Instead of acknowledging your anger, Miguel shot back, “Do you realize what you’ve done?!”
“I saved my sister!”
“You’ve given your universe a death sentence!” Miguel shouted. “Why do you have to be so fucking selfish?!”
“Selfish?!” You snapped. Now you were quite pissed. Truly, he had never seen you this angry before now. He supposed that it made sense that it would be him to cause this. There had been many close calls. Now, it was different. You couldn’t keep your resolve. “I didn’t invade another universe and replace a girl’s father! Did you ever think that your situation was different?! Did you ever think that what you did was a lot worse than me saving my sister?! You can’t project your problems onto me, Miguel. It’s not the same and you know it—”
“Did it ever occur to you that I did this because I love you?” Miguel hissed. “Did it ever occur to you that I couldn’t bear to watch you lose everything over the same mistake I made?! Did it, Domino? Did you ever stop and think—”
“Wait.” He realized then that you weren’t looking at him anymore. Instead you were looking down. At the end of your web. “If I screwed everything up, then how come my dimension isn’t unraveling?”
The way you asked this, the way you posed the question made him go silent for a moment. Because he just then realized things weren’t changing. Other than the chaos that was happening around them already, there wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. No holes in the dimension. Nothing disappearing.
“I….” Miguel looked back to you, “I….M-Miguel I saved her, didn’t I?”
He still couldn’t respond.
You reached your web up and tied it to Miguel’s wrist before snapping his web attached to you apart.
“Domino—”
But he watched you fall toward the bottom.
It didn’t take him long to get there too. It didn’t take him long to see the limp body attached to the end of your web. It didn’t take him long to realize that your universe wouldn’t unravel any time soon.
Your sister was dead. Just like it was supposed to….
This was supposed to be better. This was supposed to be what kept you and your universe safe.
Miguel O’Hara always made the tough calls. The decisions that no one else could.
So why did it feel like the dimension was tearing itself apart in front of his eyes? Why did it feel like you were going to disappear at any second? Why did it feel like he had already lost you even though you were right there.
He did. He lost you.
You slipped from his fingers so fast…
“Is this what you wanted?” A weak whisper left your lips, your back still turned to him.
There were no words he could say that could fix any of it.
Miguel removed his mask, so that you could see his face. So that you could see how sincere he was. Only for you to see. Only you mattered in that moment.
“Sometimes you can’t stop what’s meant to happen.” When you glanced over your shoulder at him, when you looked at him through glassy eyes—your mask now gone—it made the words a lot harder to force out, “I never wanted any of this. Not like this…”
Jessica and the others arrived but didn’t say anything. Jessica had been one of the people on Miguel’s side about the whole ordeal, but even she was smart enough not to say anything. You were already hurting too much.
You glared at him through the water falling from your eyes, you glared at Jessica, you glared at all of them.
“Well, congratulations.”
“Y/N…” Jessica tried, only she went silent when she noticed your sister’s body limp behind you. There was nothing to be said.
You tore off your bracelet and threw it at Miguel’s feet. “You saved the canon, O’Hara. You should be proud.”
After that, you stopped coming to HQ. Except for that one time when you announced you were quitting the society for good. After that he stopped seeing the White Spider swinging around your dimension and stopping bad guys. The only time he saw you don your suit was to fight a new villain called the Electro. After that, he hadn’t seen you in the newspapers nor social media ever again.
This wasn’t something he really didn’t see coming. Frankly, he wasn’t even sure if the canon knew this was what exactly would happen after your sister’s death. That you would just stop being the White Spider. That you would give it all up.
Fuck. Of course this would be the last straw. He knew you. He met your sister multiple times.
You weren’t like Miguel. You would not bounce back easily. That was never you.
He should’ve stopped it. He shouldn’t have let it get that far…
The fight on the train didn’t last for long. Like you had said beforehand, you hadn’t planned on fighting him. Only keeping him at bay so that Miles was given time to go back to his dimension. So you had gotten your licks in, getting to kick your man’s ass was something so refreshing and should’ve happened sooner if you were being honest.
You landed a few kicks at Miguel—his waist, face, and legs—before he grabbed you and threw you off the train. But you fell gracefully, knowing that you had done your part. So you entered your data into your bracelet, a portal appearing behind you.
“He’s just a kid, Miguel.” You called.
The last thing you saw was Miguel, an unreadable expression on his face as you disappeared through the portal.
Gwen had recruited you to help Miles a couple hours after you had gotten back to your dimension. Apparently, he had been sent to the wrong Earth so now it was your job to track him down and help him complete his goal. Helping him succeed at something that you couldn’t.
So before you started this long fight, the long journey ahead, you went to your sister’s grave. You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you were here. After the funeral, you weren’t sure you even came here alone yourself. Just to see her.
It hurt too much before. It only just kept reminding you how much you failed. Why you stopped being the White Spider. Why your relationship with Miguel could never quite be the same.
Your spine shuddered and you turned your head slightly away from your sister’s grave. “It’s kind of insensitive to do a sneak attack when I’m visiting my sister, O’Hara.”
Behind you, Miguel stood a little further away. His mask was off. You didn’t move from your sister’s grave and he didn’t move from where he stood. The two of you took to staring at each other for a long moment.
Since it didn’t seem like he was going to say anything first, you sighed, “Don’t act so surprised. I thought you knew me better than that—”
“I thought I did too.” Miguel scowled, though the harshness was mixed with something looser. Something that would’ve made you crumble on the spot.
You cleared away some of the dead rose petals from the last bouquet of flowers that were left here, “Is that what you came here for? To berate me  into changing my mind? I’m convinced already—”
“I’m not here to convince you. How can I do that when you won’t listen to reason?” Miguel hissed. “If you are willing to die over this, destroy another universe, then…” You looked at him fully then. Perhaps you were too far away to see, perhaps your mind was playing tricks on you, but you could’ve sworn his eyes were red. Not from his unique abilities.
The emotion in his eyes, god you wanted to look away. You didn’t want your resolve to fail again. Not this time.
This time was too important.
“Then what?” You asked him quietly.
Miguel never responded to your question. He ducked his head down for a moment. The words that left his mouth almost barely audible. “How many times will I have to lose you, Domino? How many times will you leave me?”
You stood and slowly inched toward the man. Cautiously, you gently grabbed his face once you were close enough and leaned your forehead against his. Your thumb caressed his cheek. His larger hands wrapped around you until his face is buried into your neck, practically inhaling your scent.
God, it was always like this. One moment you were in each other’s arms and in the next throwing each other off of trains or running until neither of you could run anymore. Moments like this, the gentle, the quiet. It never lasted.
In the next moment Miguel wasn’t in your arms anymore. You weren’t on your Earth anymore. Now you were flying about in search for Miles, hoping to find him before Miguel and his gang did. You were never sure when the two of you would ever find that semblance of peace again. Those moments were gone in seconds and you were back to the real world. That’s how your cycle went.
That was your canon.
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Anhora Keeper Of The Unicorns really did have the toughest time of it, in terms of being a Magical Personage in Camelot.
I mean, not only did the guy have to deal with constant virgins endangering their lives by wandering alone through bandit-infested woods just to pester his unicorns, Anhora also had to witness this exchange between these two besotted idiots:
Arthur: I’M drinking the poison
Merlin: No, ME.
Arthur: Never! I shall die for you instead!
Merlin: That’s my job! You’re worth more than me!
Arthur: No YOUUUUU
Merlin: No YOUUUUU
Anhora: *extremely put-upon sigh*
Arthur: You’re so smart Merlin and clever Merlin and- hey what’s that over your shoulder?
Merlin: WHERE?
Arthur: *yoinks the cup*
Merlin: NOOOOOOOO Arthur my Arthur no no no let me die for youuuu.
Arthur: Never Merlin I shall die for you now!
Merlin: No let me-
Arthur: No let ME-
Anhora: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I ACTUALLY HAD PUT POISON IN THAT CUP I WOULD DRINK IT MYSELF!
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queer-geordie-nerd · 2 months
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Do anti-trans crusaders like JK Rowling realize they are endangering lots of cis women with their hate? I get that they don't care about trans women's safety or wellbeing, but what about all the not-so-feminine-looking cis women out there who are now becoming the targets of transphobic attacks? The butch lesbians, the tomboys, the women with PCOS, the tall women, the muscular women, the short-haired women, the post-menopausal women who can't afford regular salon visits and injectables and cosmetic surgeries to keep them looking sufficiently "feminine" after their oestrogen dries up, the women who've had double mastectomies without reconstruction, the plain old 'ugly' women? What about them? They are all now being 'accused' of being trans online and getting doxxed and kicked out of women's bathrooms and secretly filmed in gyms and beaten in the streets in transphobic attacks. Does JK Rowling not care about them? Or are they all just collateral damage in the crusade? Should they all just make more of a damned effort? What? How should all the 'unacceptable' cis women out there protect themselves from the new wave of hate people like JK Rowling have stoked against them?
Would JK Rowling be willing to get her vag out and take a DNA test to 'prove' she's actually really truly a fully female woman? Would she object to that, I wonder?
(Not even going to start on the fact that she's also endangering intersex people and 'insufficiently masculine' men.)
I've found myself worrying lately about using public toilets. I'm a taller-than-average not-pretty cis woman who never wears make-up or jewellery or perfume or dresses. I now worry a little about not appearing 'feminine' enough in public, that I might be mistaken for a trans person and subjected to hate or violence. Is that really the world JK Rowling wants?
Anyway. She seems horrible and I'm glad I got rid of all her books. What a stupid hill she has chosen to die on.
Honestly, I think her and her ilk are so blinded by their all encompassing, frothing hatred and paranoia that they really *don't* care at all about women, any women. Like all extremists, their so-called *concern* is really a cover for their abhorrent behaviour.
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frvnkcastles · 2 months
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A MAN WITH A BLACK HEART OF GOLD ➵ F. CASTLE
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Summary: When there’s a death in the neighborhood, you call Frank for comfort and protection.
Warnings: Mentions of death, anxiety, fluff mostly!
Word count: 2.1k
Author’s note: Taking a quick break from requests for this little thing I whipped up after experiencing this very thing myself. A dead body was found in my neighborhood and it freaked me out, but thankfully it was updated on the news that a crime wasn’t involved. Still, I wouldn’t mind if I had Frank next to me tonight!
The last thing you expected coming home from getting the groceries for next week was a bunch of police cars and an ambulance on your street. The sight instantly made you nervous, your grip on the bag of food tightening as you walked through the crowd to get to your door. The police were swarmed by the building across the street, giving you access to your own home, but before you made your way inside, your neighbor caught your eye.
”What’s going on?” you queried with both curiosity and dread. You knew there was plenty of crime in the city — if not through reading the news, then through knowing Frank. You had befriended the Punisher himself a few weeks back, and he had already taught you a lot about staying safe and protected, but even with everything he had shared with you, you felt uneasy that something had happened so close to your doorstep. You were used to hearing about what went down at night from him, but right now, it was barely evening and whatever had happened, it was right across the street from you.
”Apparently they found a dead body in one of the apartments”, your neighbor whispered, and with shock punching you in the gut, you swallowed. ”They won’t say what happened, though. Maybe it was natural causes”, she continued, and weakly, you nodded. Maybe she was right. But you had heard enough from Frank to know that there was some seriously fucked up stuff happening in your city, and it made you sick to think something like that had happened in your neighborhood.
You headed inside, working completely on autopilot as you got in your apartment and started unloading the groceries. You enjoyed every second you spent with Frank, in fact, you had gotten quite attached to him, but right now, you regretted ever listening to his haunting tales of criminals and crooks. All it did was make you overthink, your brain going in evil loops as you wondered if there was a murderer on the loose — maybe a serial killer, even? Maybe he was targeting people in your area. Maybe you were next.
You spent the evening refreshing the website of the local news, waiting for something to pop up. When it finally did, all the article said was that a corpse had been discovered and the police was still investigating whether or not it had been a crime. You gnawed on your nails anxiously. How hard could it be to tell if someone had murdered them? Even you knew there would have to be signs of a break-in or a struggle or something. Or maybe you had just watched too much TV.
Either way, it was driving you mad. And you knew what could make you feel better — calling Frank. You just didn’t know if you were in the stage of your relationship where it would be okay to do. Your encounters tended to be initiated by him, as he would either show up on your doorstep or behind your window unannounced, or you’d run into him at a coffee shop or a diner in a way that you suspected wasn’t random. You knew he was a busy man, and the last thing you wanted was to scare him off by being clingy, or worst case scenario, to endanger his life by calling him at the wrong time.
But it was Frank. Frank, who was always so good to you, Frank, who was way more talented at giving support and comfort than he gave himself credit for, Frank, who never judged or laughed at you if it wasn’t meant to be laughed at. God, it was no wonder you were already falling for him, when he was such a perfect gentleman every time you saw him.
A little embarrassed but hopeful that he’d be understanding, you decided to call him. You paced back and forth in your apartment while the phone rang, your nail between your teeth and your feet shuffling anxiously. It felt kind of awkward, too trivial to actually be worth Frank’s time, but the fear of what had happened beat the shame in you. You were growing more terrified by the minute, and you knew it was something only he could alleviate.
”Hey, sweetheart. What’s up?” Frank’s voice hit you through the phone, and gulping at the thickness of his voice, you shook yourself out of the daze you had fallen into while waiting for him to pick up.
”Hi, Frank. This is kinda embarrassing, but, uh… if you have the time—I understand if you don’t, would you maybe mind visiting? And… maybe even spending the night? The police found a dead body across the street and I’m just a little freaked out”, you rambled, your nerves getting the best of you, but Frank listened patiently instead of interrupting you.
For a beat, he was silent, and it was enough time for you to start wondering if you had made a mistake calling him. But finally, he spoke up. ”Yeah, darlin’, I’ll be there. Hang on f’me, yeah?” he answered, and with a weight rolling off of your chest, you sighed.
”Thank you, Frank.” You hung up the phone and threw yourself onto the couch, burying your face in your hands as you groaned. This was very much not what you had expected from your night, but maybe, it was a blessing in disguise. After all, you were officially signed up for some more time in Frank’s company, and the mere thought got you to smile to yourself. He had stolen your heart so effortlessly, it was ridiculous.
You didn’t know when to expect him, as you obviously couldn’t make him drop everything just for you, but when it started to get dark, you grew anxious again. He was taking his sweet time and being alone in the apartment made you uncomfortable, with every sound from outside your little bubble making you alert.
Finally, though, there was a knock on your door, and you jumped with your hand on your chest. You tiptoed to the front door and stole a glimpse through the peephole just to be safe, feeling calmer when you saw Frank standing there with his head hung low and his hands folded in front of him. You opened the door, and despite the worry inside your soul, the sight of him brought a smile on your face. He looked too good to be true, his sleeves rolled up and his dark hair covered in rain droplets.
”Sorry it took me a while. I made a pitstop”, he announced, gesturing at the bag in his hands. He walked inside, gently kicking the door shut behind him, and leaning down to briefly kiss your cheek before making his way to the kitchen. The casual gesture made your face hot and your heart skip a beat, but you followed him to the kitchen without commenting on it.
”What’s all this?” you asked as he began taking things out of the bag — chips, food containers, a bottle of beer for him and your favorite soda for you.
”Figured you ain’t gonna be able to sleep, anyway. We might as well make a night out of it. Watch a movie or somethin’, whatever you want”, he shrugged like it was the most normal thing ever for him to show up with everything thought of. You felt giddy, unable to believe he would do all this for you, and you did the only thing you could think of and stepped in to hug him.
He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, looking down at your face, painted with all kinds of heavy emotions. ”You must have been real scared, huh?” he muttered, and shyly, you nodded. ”It’s aight. ’M here now and I’mma make sure you’re safe”, Frank reassured you, just his words enough to console you. All it took was his presence to make you feel protected, and you appreciated it deeply.
”If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t heard of anythin’ goin’ down over here and I’m always on top of these things. I’m sure it was just a one-time thing”, he went on, and nodding, you pulled back from him and grabbed the soda can from the counter.
”I hope so. I kind of just wanna think about something else, so… how about that movie?” you suggested, drawing a sip from your drink.
Frank agreed quickly, and you two huddled up on your couch with the food and the snacks. Time passed in a blink of an eye, with midnight rolling around by the time you were finished with the first movie, but as Frank had suspected, you weren’t exactly eager to go to sleep. Sleeping made you vulnerable, and it scared you — so, you watched another movie.
You ended up migrating from your end of the couch to Frank’s arms. Totally platonic, you told yourself. He was sweet with you, surprisingly affectionate too, but you weren’t sure he felt the same way that you did. At least, you didn’t think he was ready to. He hadn’t told you everything, but you had read the news enough to know what he had gone through and what he had lost, so you doubted he was looking for a relationship. It stung, you had to admit that much, but you found a small consolation in the fact that it wasn’t anything personal.
A yawn slipped from you, and Frank noticed, perceptive as always. ”You should get some rest, sweetheart”, he pointed out, and begrudgingly, you supposed he was right.
”I don’t mean to push but… will you stay in the bed with me?” you asked carefully, hoping you weren’t crossing a boundary, but he didn’t seem to have any hesitation regarding the matter.
”Sure thing.”
With that, he helped you up from the couch, and you went ahead with your nightly routine of washing your face, brushing your teeth and changing into your PJs. When you stepped into the bedroom, Frank was already lying on your bed, his arms behind his head as he waited for you. Seeing him like that, it made your chest tighten and your stomach do a backflip. You had imagined this exact situation countless times, though you suspected your daydreams ended very differently than what reality had in store for you.
You settled under the covers, sighing deeply as you rubbed your tired eyes and felt the stress of the day weigh you down. Frank observed you closely, a small smile on his lips, and it made you chuckle nervously.
”What?” you questioned, earning a shrug from him.
”You just look real pretty, ’s all”, he revealed, and with your eyes widening, you stared at him, trying to find any hint of joke on his face. There was none.
”Thanks, Frankie”, you replied sheepishly, tucking your hair behind your ear. ”And thanks for the food and for staying with me. I really appreciate it”, you added, and with a soft nod, he dropped his hands to his lap and shifted deeper into the mattress.
”I know it ain’t a permanent solution, but I want ya to know I’mma keep an eye on this place. I’ll make sure nothin’ happens to you”, he promised, and surprised, you lifted yourself up to rest on your elbow, your gaze meeting his.
”You’d do that?” you spoke in disbelief, and with a completely serious look, he nodded once again.
”Course, I would, sweetheart. I never wanna see you in harm’s way. I know this is still pretty new, but I, uh, I like you”, he confessed, his voice almost nervous. You couldn’t imagine him ever being nervous, but as you both sat in his admission, the air growing hot between you, that was exactly how he felt.
Feeling impulsive, you closed the space between you and kissed him. He melted into it immediately, his big hand reaching up to cradle your face, his lips moving against yours in a way that was thrilling and enchanting. He took your breath away, kissing you with passion but sweetness, and it was even better than you had imagined.
Breathless, you broke the kiss, and he dropped his forehead to yours. ”I like you, too”, you returned the favor, and breaking into a grin, Frank kissed you again, shorter this time but equally delicious.
In hindsight, you were beyond glad you had called him, and he felt the same way. And for you, he was going to get to the bottom of what had happened.
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natsunenuko · 5 days
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TW // mental issues, mental absue, harassment, surgery/blood
I'm sorry this one is so long, but please carry on reading. It's a chance for me to not only speak about the situation but let out some steam too. It is unfortunate this announcement comes at the same time the flood occurs on the south of my home country (Poland) and I'm in the endangered zone, luckily so far safe, as I feel my head can't handle more stress.
It's been so long since I've been this personal online. I realized how I didn't feel the urge to vent for 3-4 years by now which is a sign of improving mental health. But my healing is still a process, and I'm afraid it's too hard to carry this rock alone at this point. I fought my thoughts if I should do this and I think just as deeply as I write right now. Yet, I know it's better late than never and I thank deeply my friends for helping me out recently as well as in the past in my lowest. I wholeheartedly owe my life to you.
I couldn't ask for better friends. As years verified, even long lasting relationships might be nothing but a mask and I had to learn the hard way. I ended a friendship of 13 years at the time over a misunderstanding. Other person I put my trust on was nothing but a groomer with morally corrupted sexual tendencies who would take advange of a group of minors while being the only adult among them, yet acting like a person much younger than all of them and pressuring all their mental issues on children instead of seeking help. The latter, I might speak of more in detail when I'm ready.
Long time ago I tried calling out for help but back then, the intrusive thoughts won; "Others have it worse, just work harder.", "No one will give you anything for free, no one will care.", "What people will think of you?". and I would only speak about these things in a closed circle of my friends.
I tried my best in silence by not giving up on my creative passion, working restlessly for years, improving. Hoping I could reach the point I can sustain myself purely on what I make.
But the problem is not being self-sufficient. And it's not about my art...
All of my life it has been me, my momma and my granny. The other two important figures weren't there for us, by choice. (which is hard to say if losing someone you loved is worse than not being cared for in the first place) My rather young self at the time didn't put much thought about it as I didn't understand it but something always felt wrong; my only issues at the time was being "that weird, quiet kid with little to no friends". But despite the hardships, my momma has always been my hero, working without a time for a break or rest so we could live happily, to afford something special from time to time.
However in 2014 my momma has been hospitalised and almost lost her life to wrongly treated ovarian cyst (cyst rapture), with enough blood loss to require emergency surgery...
From that point on things went downhill and the result of that we feel to this very day. To stay afloat we fell into a severe dept. (We didn't have any savings, could only rely on borrowing money or loans) And since I was a child as all of this happened, I've only learned about it all throughfully as I entered adulthood, so I wouldn't need to worry about anything and "just be a kid". Which I really understand, but it doesn't make it easier to handle.
And by now, for several years I keep on trying to earn money, so I could free my momma from this chain and let her live, not survive. I always wanted to get through this quietly, because I never, ever wanted to burden anyone with my home problems. But it grew to a point I might need to grab anything to climb towards the light
The goal is $10 000... which is scarily large number.
I list all the options but Kofi is preferred to keep track of the funds!
My commissions are HERE! (the sheet will receive a slight update in upcoming days) My Kofi is HERE! (Level 4 Tea is free headshot drawing every month!) HERE's other services I do (adopts, brushes, etc) I plan to do paid requests for my friday streams on occasion! Anything else I come up with I hope to include in here! Every person who donates will be part of "Thank you" list where I hope to shoutout everybody, cause every penny matters. I want this situation to end...
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ancha-aus · 1 month
Text
RealAgeAU Drabble - Friends Reunite
It is here! The moment has arrived! @spotaus are you ready friend?!
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I don't think we need an introduction to this part :3
*----------------*
Nightmare watches out from the porch as he waits. They are waiting for Horror to finish putting their tools away.
As they wait Nightmare pulls on his clothes. feeling very nervous.
Killer grins "You look fine nighty."
Nightmare frowns "i guess..." he is wearing some of his new clothes. nice colourful ones. Things he never really wore. warm orange and pink today. it is loose and pretty. with a few nice ribbons as well.
Cross smiles as he helps him check his outfit "aren't you excited to see your friend again? I thought you missed him?"
Nightmare looks down as he rubs his arm "I do... Ccino is nice..." he isn't sure for a moment but tells them anyway "I was actually... When i thought you guys didn't... want to be near me... I had been on my way to him." he figured if there was any safe place for him it would be Ccino's.
Cross hugs him close "I am still so sorry we left you."
Nightmare shurgs and leans into the touch "you came back." that is what matters. they came back.
Horror walks over and rubs his skull and Nightmare leans into the tocuh with a happy sigh. Horror smiles a thim "ready to go little light?"
Nightmare feels embarrased at that new nickname. Sure he got used to Nightlight by now but little light is still new.
Horror chuckles and pets his skull again "ready?"
Nightmare leans into it still and nods "okay." he really wants to see Ccino. see if ccino still sees him as a friend.
after everything
after not visiting for so long.
after... now that he is different.
He doesn't fight it as Killer picks him up and holds him close "You sure you feel okay? Spine fine?"
Nightmare rolls his eye lights and nods "I feel fine." his spine only aches nowadays. Yet none of them seem willing to let him walk around a lot.
Nightmare doenst mind honestly. It is nice to be close to them and be held. like a long hug. it just feels nice and warm and safe.
Cross takes out his knife and cuts the fabric of the universe. a portal opens and cross smiles "ready to go."
And they step through.
The leave the warm autumn air for a chiller spring air and nightmare shivers slightly. Not truly becuase he is cold but mostly because he hadn't expected the sudden change.
Killer just holds him closer.
They are in an alleyway and Nightmare can see both Dust and Cross look around the corner. Nightmare feels so nervous. he tries to get any wrinkles out of his clothes as he waits.
What if Ccino didn't want to meet him again?
What if he was angry?
what if he hated him now?
Dust looks back at them "store is closed as we requested. I don't see anyone near."
Killer looks deeply unhappy but then he looks at Nightmare and sighs "okay. lets do this." still nightmare can feel himself be pulled closer and his face is hidden by killer's shoulder, making it a lot harder to see.
they move around and walk over.
he hears nothing for a while before a familiar voice speaks up.
"Wow you really are quiet..."
That is ccino. Oh no... maybe this was a mistake?
Dust hums "I pride myself on being quiet and unnoticable. I see you wanted to do this meeting after all."
Ccino sounds unamused as he answers "of course i do! But... i can't help but notice i don't see nightmare."
huh. guess killer is hiding himself and nightmare both behind the others.
DUst sounds unbothered "oh he is here. I just need to make sure nothing here could endanger him."
This time ccino actually sounds mad and insulted "I would never bring harm or danger to someone."
a moment of silence before Dust answers sounding very amused "good answer. Then I hope you also understand that all of this will stay between us and a secret from the multiverse as a whole?"
Ccino huffs "obviously."
Dust probably does something like a nod because the next thing he says is just Killer's name.
Nightmare feels killer move and probably step out into the open.
A dead silence around them. Nightmare takes a deep breath and pushes the anxiety down as he pulls back a bit from killer's shoulder and glances at ccino.
Ccino just stares at him. shock clearly on his face as he just takes the sight of him in. But... there is no anger or hurt or hate on his face.
Nightmare slowly raises a hand "hey ccino... it has been a while?"
Ccino shakes before smiling brightly "nightmare! You! It is actually you and you are okay!" then worry "wait are you okay?" he glares at dust "why is he a child?"
Dust shrugs as Cross slowly holds up the old Dreamtale book "yeah... that is a long story... at least as much as we know..."
Ccino looks between them before sighing but then he smiles "guess we can all just sit and talk? I will get the drinks and snacks."
nightmare leans against killer and the stress leaves his body. it is okay. ccino isn't mad. he doesn't hate him.
This is fine.
--
Nightmare pets one of the many cats that had swarmed him. all of them being the cat versions of his dads who all try to nuzzle and clean him.
Nightmare looks abck and notes that his dads are done explaining the situation to ccino. well as much as they know and understand it.
Dust's cat has disappeared a while ago but the other three are making up for it as they refuse to leave his side.
Ccino leans back "that... that is a lot..."
Killer snorts "that is putting it lightly. We have just decided to lay low."
cross smiles "yeah! Out of sight out of mind kinda deal. and it worked because they sned out the news about nightmare!"
ccino nods and seems to get it "meaning no one will bother you guys anymore..." he hold shis cup and frowns "then why? why risk any of it and come here?"
Dust shrugs "ngihtmare wanted to."
ccino blinks before smiling and shooting him a look. only to freeze and snort "you okay?" which makes the others also look over and stare in shock. probably noticing the very familiar looking cats.
nightmare speaks up "I think i need assistance..."
Dust is quick to free him from the cats's clutches but it doesn't discourage them as they just follow him again.
ccino chuckles as he hears the very confused questions about why the cats look like them. ccino shrugs "i don't know why. they just kinda show up here. and i can't exactly risk letting them wander and someone else who visits this universe find them."
which he then smiles brightly "This all does explain the new cat so much!"
nightmare blinks and tilts his skull "new cat?"
ccino grins and goes to the counter. he ducks behind it before removing a cat, dust's cat. then he walks over with noot in his arms but... nightmare frowns. his cat version doens't look so great.
Ccino gently lays it in killer's lap and killer immediantly starts petting it "holy... that is nightmare's cat?"
ccino hums and looks amused "from back when he had the god apples yes. but... about a year and a half ago he just got weaker and weaker and weaker."
nightmare puts it together "when i lost the apples's power."
ccino nods "i don't think Noot is your cat... but the apple's cat." ccino grins again and goes behind the counter for another moment before returning again. holding a very tiny kitten and- that is his own eyes staring back at him.
ccino carefully hands the kitten over to nightmare nad nightmare stares confused at his own cat.
ccino grins "i think that is your actual cat version." moments later dust's cat jumps into their laps as well and cleans the kitten's head for a moment before focussing on nightmare himself.
Nightmare shoots Dust a look to please help but Dust just watches him fondly. Not in any way in a hurry to save him from this very obvious and clear problem.
Killer snorts "The cats love you Night night."
Nightmare feels himself start to blush as Ccino nods "They always did. would follow him around and always gravitate towards him no matter where he sat." Ccino grins "Also when he fell asleep. They would refuse to leave his side."
Killer gasps and grins at Nightmare "Nap time with kitties? And you didn't invite me? I am hurt Nighty." he huffs but still grins "To make up for it... mmmmh... I want one of the kitty cuddle pictures." he holds up his camera.
Nightmare feels so embarrased and glares at Killer "Stop that."
Killer pouts "But you would look so cuuuute!" he says it like a whine and pouts "It is unfair he got to see it and not us!"
Nightmare huffs as he crosses his arms, it is slightly harder with Axe in his lap trying to get pets but he manages, "I was in the adult body back then anyway so it wasn't even cute."
Ccino shrugs "I mean. I must admit it was a very different side of your character that no one seemed aware of." he grins and shrugs afterwards as Ngihtmare stares at his friend with betrayal.
Ccino shrugs at the questioning look thrown his way by the others "I don't have pictures. I don't take picutres of customers that is weird. And even if i did i wouldn't do it of nightmare. too much risk someone finds it and realises he came by here a lot." he shrugs again.
Nightmare feels a bit smug and smiles a tiny bit "Told you Ccino was great." it takes a moment before his mind fully catches up and he feels embarresed again.
Ccino looks confused as Horror chuckles and shakes his skull "He is six. Nightmare is sitll getting used to some aspects of it."
Ccino blinks and looks curiously "and he was always six?"
Kilelr nods "Yup!! Just our tiny baby moving around a fake adult body made by god magic."
Ccino nods and looks thoughftul before muttering "explains feeling protective at least..."
Cross looks curious "What do you mean?"
Ccino blinsk and shrugs "after like the first visit? I felt very protective over nightmare. which is weird because god and all that. But this information? I guess my soul picked up on the fact there was an actual child in there even if i didn't know..."
Dust frowns "how could that be possible?"
Ccino shrugs again "Maybe it is because i work with animals a lot? I am already sensitive to their needs and theri shenanigans. Maybe it just included this as well. I am not sure." Ccino grins "It is also very new to me."
Cross frowns at him "How come you are this calm about this all? Nightmare visiting and stuff?"
Ccino blinks and shoots nightmare a look. Ngihtmare watches his friend, having wondered the same thing himself but never wanted to call attention to just how strange it had been.
Ccino looks at them "I just... never saw it as my place to question why the gods did what they do. You can try find logic in things sure... but there is no garentee that they would like... use the same logic as we would use. I figured nightmare was doing stuff for a reason and eventually i heard about balance stuff through the gossip and figured it was that." he rubs his cheek. "My biggest worry is honestly keeping the cats out of the cat treats. They are crafty."
Killer laughs and Nightmare watches his family actually relax and enjoy themselves.
See? This is why Nightmare loves Ccino's place. it is nice and peaceful and safe. It was why Nightmare had been planning on coming here after all.
Not that it ever came to that.
Ccino ends up going to the counter and retrieving some cake. Nightmare sits up and stares at the treat. it is his favourite! it is a vanilla cake with some peach frosting.
Ccino grins and gives everyone a piece and Nightmare happily starts eating his.
Ccino puts down a cup and Nightmare reaches for it only to frown "No coffee?"
Ccino laughs "Sorry Nightmare. I figured giving a six year olf caffeine isn't the best choice."
ngihtmare glares nad mutters "technically i am like 556..."
ccino looks unimpressed "Say that to your body, mind, magic and how all of our souls react to the sight of you. enjoy your chocolate milk." and he goes back to giving everyone else their drinks.
Nightmare grumbles but sips it. it is so warm and sweet and nightmare forgets his frustration as he enjoys his treats.
THe shop is warm and nice. it is all so familiar and the treats are just like that. his body relaxes and he feels so warm and happy.
Safe.
He is really safe... isn't he?
his treat is gone before he knows it and he tries to focus on the conversation of the others but it is all just warm and he feels so safe and he had been worried but there was no reason to worry at all.
He yawns and leans back against the large chair he is on. petting one of the cats near him as his sockets slowly close.
--
A soft plof gets their attnetion and they turn only to freeze.
holy shit.
Killer grins as he slowly pulls out his phone.
Nightmare had fallen asleep and has rolled up with some of the cats. One being his kitten version. the goop cat sits by his skull. clenaing him.
Killer aims the phone and siletnly takes a picture. that is 100% going on their picture wall!
Ccino grins and whispers "told you it happens."
Killer finishes taking the pictures and just leans against the chair. Nightmare is sound asleep. clearly the stress was higher than they thoguht it was if he is already this tired again. poor babybones.
Ccino gets to work on cleaning the plates and killer watches as Cross quickly offers the help him. Killer goes to play with the cats for a bit as dust and horror watch over their babybones.
God the cats are all so cute. though he can't pick a favourite. the others relax but it is very quickly time to go.
Dust gets up and mutters "we shoudl go. get him in bed so he can rest."
Ccino looks thorn but nods "Yeah. I get that- oh wait a second! I will be right back." and he rushes off.
Cross frowns "Why didn't he teleport."
Ngihtmare yawns as he rubs his sockets "Ccino can't teleport." he yawns againa s he leans against Dust in his hold "going home?"
Dust nods and nuzzles the tiny skull "That is the plan. you feeling oaky?"
Nightmare hums and nods "Yeah."
Ccino rushes back in and sighs in relieve "oh you guys are still here. good." he joins their side and grins as he holds up a set of keys. just two. Nihgtmare looks up confused but holds out his hand and Ccino places the keys in there. "for emergencies."
Nightmare looks at the keys confused before looking at Ccino.
Dust shoots him a look as well "what is that about?"
Ccino rolls his eye lights "calm down. As i said. It is for emergencies. if anything happens and he needs to hide anywhere. he can come here. I just want him to have his own set of keys in case i am not here." he huffs "I had been planning on giving him a set ages ago but... well... he couldn't visit for a while."
Killer huffs "We have a safe place and home." who the hell does this guy think he is?!
Ccino just looks at him unimpressed "Wasn't your hide out also safe?"
silence.
Ccino sighs as he rubs his face "Look. It is just a backup. just in case he needs to hide somewhere for a while. people won't expect him here."
okay... maybe that can work. Killer still shoots him a glare before nodding "fine." but if this guy even thinks about stealing their babybones...
Nigthmare however smiles a tiny bit "thanks ccino... means a lot..."
Ccino smiles and looks a bit more nervous "Can I hug you goodbye? I get it if you don't want that."
Ngihtmare considers it for a moment but nods as he looks at Dust. Dust watches Ccino for a moment but ends up handing over the tiny babybones.
Ccino just holds and hugs ngihtmare close and shakes slightly "I am so happy you are okay."
Nightmar ehums and seems to think for a moment before speaking "When... when i left the hideout... before they found me again.. I was on my way here."
Ccino blinks and looks surprised as Killer freezes.
He hadn't been making his way to dreamtale. Holy shit they had gotten so lucky that they managed to catch up with him.
Killer can't even be mad or jeaous about it. He feels a bit sad but even that is undeserved. They had deserted him. Left him behind when he was vulnerable. Of course he was trying to get to the one place that could give him shelter and safety.
Ccino laughs and nuzzles the tiny skull "You are always welcome here. You all are. I am happy to be able to call you my friend."
Ngihtamre blinks before smiling brightly. then he turns back and reaches for Dust. Dust immediantly moves forwards and takes their babybones back and only seeing dust holding him again calms Killer fully down.
Killer had never considered that nightmare had been any other end destination but Dreamtale. He had always figured that if they hadn't found Nightmare along the way they would have foudn him there.
Aparently it wouldnt have been that easy.
Nightmare would have gone here. to an AU they hadn't even been aware of. hiding away from preying eyes with someone who had no trouble lying through his teeth to anyone and everyone.
There is no way they would have found him. Not fast enough at least. Not fast enough before Ngihtmare got fully settled and comfortable. counting on someone else but them.
Ccino is unaware of the actual crisis this interaction caused. or maybe he is aware and he is just good at acting as if he doesn't know. He reassures them that he won't tell antoher soul about their visit and if they want to come by just send a message and they can figure it out.
The trip home is silent.
They enter their house and Dust goes straight to the nest where he rolls up with nightmare.
Nightmare looks up at him sleepy and confused "dad?"
and the doubt melted away. Killer fully relaxes and sees his mates do the same thing. Dust smiles nad nuzzles their babybones "Nothing. did you ahve a good day?"
Nightmare nods and yawns again before pushing himself closer to dust "yeah...."
dust hums and nzuzles the tiny skull "How is your spine?"
ngihtmare looks a bit more grumpy as he is kept away from his nap time "it is fine. doesn't hurt."
dust nods and nuzzles him "that is good."
Killer watches his mate and child fall asleep. All is well. their baby is happy and has a friend.
And now that he thinks about it? It is actually really good that they had a back up spot just in case.
Killer does not trust the multiverse with his mates and child.
*----------------*
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