#but i would have to redo my office hours schedule to fit it in. which is annoying for me and my coworkers :/

[supercantaloupe]

aghh everybody keeps asking me to consider doing More Things on wednesdays and i don't know if i can do any of them 😥

[everlarkficexchange]

The Archer and The Wrestler.

Written by: @thegirlfromoverthepond

Prompt 90: The Olympic committee is selling sponsorships and heavily advertising the upcoming games. The most photogenic of each sport is asked to pose for pics and attend functions, film commercial together, do some interviews. What sports represented by Katniss, Peeta, others? Required to look cozy? Animosity behind those smiles? Competitiveness? Banter? Any secrets? Do they have a “breakfast club” ending? by @567inpanem

______ 

Summary: Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark meet in the office of Trinket Advertising, where they have to shoot pictures for sponsors.

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Thank you @567inpanem for the prompt ! I had fun writing it :) PLus I could place it in my country which is always a plus. I hope you won’t be disappointed … 

My deepest thanks to @sunsetsrmydreams for pre reading and betaing.

To @xerxia31 and @javistg thank you for hosting such a nice event … and So sorry for the delay !

__________________

  I should be practicing, she thought, instead of pacing the long, white, corridor of Trinket Advertising.

  Katniss still had a ton to do for the Games. Be sure to be fit, to be healthy, to be accurate. To shoot straight.

  She really didn’t want to spend her afternoon waiting for some photographer to ask her to act natural in front of a camera. But she was just glad she didn’t have to shoot with someone from the team, as she was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to focus with the constant bickering between Johana and Gale or how Haymitch, their trainer, would “Sweetheart” this or that. 

  Still no clue as to why she had been picked to be the representative of her sport for the sponsors and advertising. She wasn’t really sure she knew what it entailed, how much time she would spend parading around the media instead of practicing. She knew archery wasn’t such a popular sport in the States, preventing her from spending huge amounts of time in talk shows, or interviews. 

Plus, seeing the recognition made Prim, her sister, so proud and happy, Katniss hadn’t been able to turn down the offer when it came. 

  “Kathy Everdeen? You’re up next.” The assistant’s piercing voice echoed in the long corridor. Katniss closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to not correct the woman.

  “Welcome to the Strange Name That Can’t Be Taken Seriously Club.” Another voice, male this time, made her open her eyes. 

In front of her was a man of around her age, wearing the male version of the US Olympics shirt she had on..

  Only his was stretched across his broad frame, where she was glad hers was loose around her lean body. 

  He extended his hand.

  “Peeta Mellark. Wrestling. Founding member of the club.” She stared at his hand, before moving a step forward to shake it. “You’re the archer ? Katniss right?”

  She stopped mid-movement. How could he know her name ?

  “I saw your name on the list, so I figured you’d be next ?” He said, almost shyly, as if he had offended her, or invaded her privacy.

  She saw the movement of his hand, that she had left unshaken, going to his hair, his fingers raking through his mane of curls.

  He had done nothing wrong, she realized, just tried to clear the air. She took a breath, before extending her own hand in front of her.

  “Yeah, I’m Katniss. Archery. How much is the subscription to the club?”

  He laughed, before shaking her hand.

  “How about tea after you’re done ?”

  “Too bad I only drink coffee … but I guess if you can wait a bit, that’s doable.” Katniss almost smiled when Peeta started to laugh.

  “Oh my goodness, I have a genius idea !” A voice froze their handshaking. “We are going to do pair shootings! Mix the sports together, along with the portraits. It’s going to be legendary !”   

  A woman with very pink hair matching her very pink outfit stood in the entrance leading towards the studio. As soon as she stopped talking, a flock of what Katniss could only think were assistants came in view, all clapping their hands or praising the Pink Lady.

  “Effie, this is another grand idea! We should start right now with these two!” The woman that had misspelled Katniss’ name said, “as they are both here.”

  “What are you waiting for, Octavia, take her to make-up right now! I need to call Plutarch, I am having a ton of ideas ! Hush hush, now come on, quickly!” 

  Katniss saw the assistants moving as one, starting to circle her and Peeta, moving them forward inside the studio, where a couple were checking their cameras and the large umbrellas reflecting the lights.

  “Cinna, Portia, I had an epiphany!” The Pink Lady walked towards the couple as quickly as her pencil dress and very high heels allowed her, while Katniss was ushered to the make-up table. She noticed that Peeta was following right behind her, with the other half of the assistants. She met his gaze, saw him shrug before he was taken to another table, shielded from her view by the different makeup and hair artists around them.

  “We’ll start with you, Kathy!” Octavia said a few minutes later. Katniss took another deep breath, calming her temper. In just a few minutes, she’ll be gone. Archery wasn’t high on the list of sponsors, nobody cared about them, but for the bow and arrows brands. 

  Katniss didn’t have time to muse as the sound of Octavia’s heels on the tiling started again. She rose from the chair, following the young woman towards a dressing cabin.

  “You’ll find your uniform inside. You’re a S, right?”

  “How do you know?” Katniss asked, surprised that the woman guessed correctly.

  “I have an eye for that. Plus, it’s written on your card.”

  She repressed another eyeroll, trying to keep in mind that Octavia was only doing her job, before she entered the dressing cabin. 

White pants, blue polo lined with red, and a white undershirt to protect her arms. The standard equipment.

  Yet, it was something to see it, to realize she would represent her country in the most important tournament there could be, that she had achieved one of her goals. To be an Olympian.

  She took the polo, turning it slowly, almost afraid to read what was on the back.

  Everdeen.

  Her father’s name, embroidered in the cotton of the shirt.

Pride rushed through her veins as her fingers traced the letters.

  “I did it, Papa. I’m going to the Olympics.”

  ______________________

  It was now official. She hated photoshoots. First, because it was taking an awful lot of time, then because you had to smile. All.the.time. That Katniss hasn’t screamed yet or ran off the door was entirely due to her willpower gained from years of training.

  The photographer, Cinna, wasn’t a talker. He was taking his time to snap picture after picture, never acknowledging Octavia or Effie’s advice for her to smile this way, or that way. Because there was apparently a way to smile properly.

  She could feel her anger rise with each passing minute, the incessant chatter of the women, the silence of the photographer, the heat from the spotlights, the wind from the huge fans, the itching from the label of the polo on her neck… 

  “I think it’s time to pair them up.” The photographer’s voice calmly said, silencing the two women.

From being Effie and Octavia, Peeta made his way towards the scene where Katniss was standing. 

  Before anyone could say a thing, Cinna turned to Effie and his assistant.

“Ladies, can you please check if we have athletes that can be paired tomorrow too? I’m sorry to ask in such short notice, but I think Effie’s idea is something we have to work on.. of course it will mean you change all the schedules..”

  “Oh, my, Cinna, but yes, of course! If you think so ? But will you be able to manage with these two?” Effie Trinket asked. Katniss could feel the sharpness of her gaze as the older woman looked at her.

  “If there is the slightest problem, I’ll make sure Portia comes to get you.” 

  “Yes, please. Because if we can manage to pair Brutus and Enobaria, we might be on something, right?”

  “Right.” Cinna nodded, before moving towards his material, his back to Katniss as he rummaged through his material.

  She looked at her partner in the photoshoot, who seemed as lost as she was. He kept running his hand in his mane of blond hair, before shoving them in his pockets. Seconds after, he was doing the same movements again. She realized she was doing the same, undoing the end of her braid before redoing it, over and over again.

She really couldn’t wait to be out of the studio.

  “Will you two stand back to back, please?” Cinna’s voice startled her, even though it was barely over a whisper. “Portia, can you please close the door?” 

  That’s when she realized how silent the place was without Effie and Octavia. Without their neverending chatter, their disapproving tongue clicks, or their exaggerated sighs.

It almost felt … good.

  Almost.

  She started to move then, turning her back to Peeta, before crossing her eyes, hoping he would take the hint to do the same. The sooner they were done, the better. She had her bow waiting for her, after all.

  She felt the fabric of Peeta’s polo on her arm, yet, never his weight on her back.

  She looked at Cinna, who nodded approvingly, before starting to take pictures. 

  “Should we smile?” She heard Peeta’s deep voice right behind her, asking the question she didn’t dare ask.

  “Do what you want, don’t mind me.” the photographer answered behind his material.

  “What we want?” Katniss echoed, unsure she had heard correctly. The previous hour had been filled with recommendations on what to do, on poses to take, on how to smile … 

  Cinna lowered his camera.

  “I’m not Effie. Beauty is everywhere, it doesn’t have to be faked by poses or false smiles. Just do what you two want.” He shrugged before checking something on his camera. “I’ll need a few minutes to fix this, try to relax.”

  Katniss turned to her partner in shooting, to realize he had already moved and was facing her.

  “You told me you were a coffee girl, right?”

  “Yup. Black, no sugar.”

  “I don’t take sugar in my tea, either. See we have something in common.” Peeta put his hands high. “Oh, no high five ? We’re not close enough yet.”

  “Definitely not, singlet boy.”

  “Ouch, that hurts. Know, Miss Everdeen, that a lot of women find that uniform .. appealing.” He raised his eyebrows, wiggling them explicitly. 

  “I bet they do. The main question is, do you have to shave your torso, so your opponent won’t have the opportunity to pull at your chest hair ?”

  Katniss didn’t know what came to her to ask such a question.  It was like Peeta made it easy for her to talk, when she usually wasn’t famous for speaking or making her voice heard without shouting.

  It was like he had a calm, soothing temper, like a lazy river, ready to cover the fire that was in her.

Maybe they made a good pair.

  “Yeah, the worst is the wax under the armpit.” He deadpanned, not even letting a smile on his face.

  She could totally imagine him taken down to “Beauty Base Zero” as the woman at the beauty parlor had told her the only time she went there. It included all sorts of treatments, each worse than the others. She even told her sister to not gift her with that kind of torture anymore.

  “Ouch.. I hope your girlfriend covers you in aloe after that …” 

Katniss knew she wasn’t the most girly woman around, yet she sometimes put on mascara or had her legs waxed from time to time, mostly for competitions when she had decided to wear the short-skirts or the long bermudas. 

  “Well, meet Hanna, my girlfriend.” Peeta said casually, showing his right hand, wiggling his eyebrows - again.      

  It took Katniss a few seconds to catch up on the double-entendre.

  “Oh, my, you’re disgusting!” Her words couldn’t completely hide her smile. There was something to this man that somehow made her want to talk, to speak, to even trust him. 

  “I bunked with Finnick Odair at the Youth Olympic Games. That was disgusting! He shaves himself ! the room was full of his hair!”

  “Well, you could have collected them before putting them on Ebay. You’d be rich by now.”

  “I should have, yes. Dam, why didn’t I know you back then to give me good advice!”

  “I wasn’t at the YOG.”

  “I know, I would have noticed you.”

She looked at him, with questions in her mind. His eyes were blue, so clear nothing was shadowing them, she was left without words.

  Click.

  —-

  Katniss couldn’t believe she was at the Olympics. In Paris, France. That her childhood dream of bringing a golden medal home was nothing but a few arrows away. A lot of stress, too. She raised her bow, lining the target with her eye, throwing  a quick glance to the small flags lining the area to check the wind, took a deep breath, before letting go of the arrow.

  She knew right away that it would miss the center of the target. A breath of hair on the right, still not enough to get full marks. She had underestimated the wind on this large, open area that the Esplanade des Invalides was.

  “Not too bad.”  She jumped at the voice behind her. Maybe some kind of volunteer that had been allowed inside the arenas for training. She needed to focus on the target, on the little golden area that would make her mark a ten in the competition.

  She took another arrow from the quiver on her left hip, slid it in the bow, looked at the wind, took a deep breath, lifted her weapon, aimed at the target. With the next exhalation of air, she let go of the arrow, knowing right away it would hit the center. 

  She had never been able to explain how she knew, each and every time how her arrow would behave. It was a feeling, a sensation, deep inside of her. 

  Thunk !  

  She looked at the target, saw that indeed the arrow was in the yellow area. She almost let a smile show on her mouth, when the same voice distrubed her again.

  “You might win if you shoot like that.”

  Katniss closed her eyes, letting a sigh escape before turning to face whoever decided to disturb her training. 

  “Peeta!” She felt a smile forming on her face. “What are you doing here?”

  He shrugged. “I was practising, then decided to go for a walk. It’s Paris after all!”

  “Here?” Katniss was pretty sure she hadn’t seen any other sport on the green grass in front of the Invalides.

  “Oh, not here here, over there!” Peeta turned, his right hand moving over his shoulder, showing the Eiffel Tower. “Wrestling is on the Champ de Mars, at the feet of the tower”

  “Really? You’ll have to tell me when you’re in the tournament. So I can come and see you.”

  Peeta’s hand went to his head, his fingers raking through his mane of golden curls.

“You’re sure ? If the press sees you there….”

  “I’ll tell them I came to support a friend.”

  “But you know how the paparazzi are …”

  “We’re in France, not the US, nobody cares about archery or wrestling - no offense intended.”

  “None taken.” 

  Peeta looked around, before coming closer to the barriers surrounding the archery arena, then leaning slightly on them, giving Katniss the opportunity to see the muscles in his forearms. She wondered briefly if he already had his waxing treatment.

  “Something on your mind, Everdeen?”   

  Who was he again? A mind-reader ?  She quickly turned her eyes  from his arms, not lingering on the broad expense of his chest, or how bright his eyes were.

  “Yup. I have to finish training if I don’t want to look too ridiculous when the competition starts.”

“What do you say we try one of these cafés when you’re done?” he casually asked. Katniss could see something in his eyes - was it hope ?

  Damn, was he playing unfair by throwing coffee into the mix. As if she was known to refuse a cup. 

  “I still have a few minutes of practice, maybe a raincheck?”

  He shrugged, before looking around. “I’m in no rush. I can wait. Patience is a virtue, young grasshopper.”

  She nodded, before taking another arrow out of her quirrel. 

   “Yes, Sensei.”

  The arrow hit the center of the target.

  ———————–

  Katniss knew she shouldn’t be there. Not that she didn’t want to, but after  pictures of her and Peeta laughing in a small café had hit the stands, her phone hadn’t stopped beeping, demanding a confirmation if there was something going on between the two of them. That, perhaps, all the rumors that had been born after the photoshoot with Cinna, were not rumors at all.

  Effie Trinket was, of course, delighted. Jo wouldn’t stop asking about LoverBoy, Gale was threatening to beat the shit out of Peeta (Katniss was almost ready to let him try to do that), and Haymitch kept on asking her if her little romance would damage her results in the field.

  Everything was peachy.

  Yet, she couldn’t find it in her to regret the time she had spent with Peeta. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed so much, that she had been able to confide to someone as she had done with him, how he had been open to her too. Like two old friends rekindling a friendship after spending years apart. 

  Friends they could have been, they had realized when discussing their native places. They had grown up about a hundred miles apart, in the same district of West Virginia. They could have crossed paths about a dozen times, sharing memories of the Meadow Park, where they both had spent time, Katniss had even worked there when they were younger. 

  Sometime during their afternoon chat, a photographer had spotted them, recognized them, and snapped pictures.

  That was a trending subject on Twitter minutes later, before someone even created a ship name for them. The hashtag #Everlark trended for more than a day.

  Katniss had pushed her phone away, blocked all the numbers she didn’t know, called Peeta to apologize, before focusing solely on her training.

  Her perfect plan had crumbled in hours, when Peeta had caught her in the Victor’s Village Cafeteria, explaining how he was sorry for everything, as the idea of coffees had been his. 

They had ended up sharing a meal with Gale and Jo, as well as some of Peeta’s teammates, who kept joking about the Everlark hashtag. In a matter of two hours Katniss was laughing with them, the pain of Effie’s scheme forgotten.

  That was why she was currently in the corridors of the Arena where Judo and Wrestling competitions were being held. Her own tournament was starting in two days and Katniss would rather watch sports she didn’t understand, then stay in her room, anxiously waiting for her turn to compete.

  Maybe it was time for her to play team mate too. She had put on her US Team attire, gotten her accreditations cards, before jumping into one of the buses that led her to the Champ de Mars. 

  She hadn’t seen Peeta since breakfast the morning before, when she had forgotten to ask him if he was still okay for her to come.

  The building was elegantly sitting on the green grass. In the back, she could see the Eiffel Tower, all dressed up in her beauty and dignity.

  In a few minutes she had found the hall with the wrestlers, and a seat in the ranks reserved for athletes. She recognized Thom and Thresh, two of Peeta’s teammates, who waved at her. She talked to them for a few minutes, learning their categories were competing in the coming days.

  “Peeta should be in two matches.” Thresh informed her as she sat on the plastic seat. “He should make it to the quarters easily. After…”

  “After?” She asked, unsure what THresh meant.

  “After, in the quarters he should face Katø, the Russian. A beast. “

  “A beast?” 

  “Yeah, 164 pounds of malice and nastiness.”

  “Charming… Maybe someone will eat this Katø first ?” 

  Thresh shook his head.

  “Na, not with this draw. His first worthy opponent will be Peeta.”

  She looked at Thresh, thinking back to the afternoon she had spent with Peeta, remembering what he had told her.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed so much, her cheeks still hurt. They had walked away from the Olympic Archery range, following the banks of the Seine, looking at the amazing monuments, walking by the Musee d’Orsay that Peeta had told her he wanted to visit. 

They had crossed the river on a wooden bridge only for pedestrians, walked along the Louvre, until they had found a small café near the Palais Royal where they were still sitting.

  “You all have bread names? Why? “

  Peeta shrugged,  before leaning down a little on the metallic table, as if he was about to confide his deepest secret.

  “We own a bakery, back in Panem. Maybe one day, I’ll tell you my real name …”

  She laughed, leaning over the table too. She felt bold enough to run her hand on his definitely toned forearm, letting her finger wander up to his shoulder.

  She saw the color of his eyes change from crystal blue to a darker shade, heard him take a breath in.

  But Katniss was on a mission.

  She leaned closer to him, her hand coming closer to his neck, her nimble fingers playing with the collar of his shirt.

  She could feel him tense under her touch, and lifted her eyes, to find his locked on her, as if he wanted to get lost in her. It took Katniss a few seconds to return to her task. With a movement of her wrist, she grabbed his accreditation cards, pulling them over his head before leaning back into her seat.

  “That’s disappointing, actually. Your name is Mark ? Mark Mellark ?”   

  “Because your name is really Katniss?”

  She put down his accreditations, took hers from around her neck, holding them out to him. He took them with a smirk before looking at the name written on them.

  “Your name is really Katniss?”

  “Yep. My mom’s Lily, my dad is Alon, and my sister is Primrose. You’re a bread family, we are a plant family.” She snatched the cards from his hands. “ You’re lucky you didn’t bet a thing, Mark Mellark.”

  “Don’t call me Mark.” He grumbled, leaning back onto his chair.

  “Well, then if you don’t want the world to call you Mark, you know what’s left to do, Mellark!”.

  She casually put down his cards on the table, taking her time to lean back too.

  “Oh? And that would be, Sensei ?”

  “Easy, Grasshopper. Make sure you don’t get a medal.”

  “That, Robin Hood, is not an option.”  

  The steadiness, the certainty of his voice made her shiver. Or maybe it was the wind, coming from large trees nearby. Surely the trees, she thought.

  “I mean,” he started “ we all came here for a reason, and it’s not to give someone else our place on the podium. Plus with all the visibility we have this year, we have to give it our best, right?”

  She nodded. That was what they had to do, what they had trained for, what they were in France for.

  “Katniss?” Thom’s voice took her out of her memories. 

  “Sorry, I was lost in thoughts.”

  “Look down, on the mat. The guy in blue? It’s Katø.”

  “That’s a man? He looks like a mountain of muscles …” 

  “Well, he is a mountain of muscles … “ The referee interrupted Thom’s sentence with the start of the first period. “That won’t take long, he isn’t known for dancing around.”

  Katniss watched as the blond man, so different from Peeta rushed into his opponent, pinning him on the mat in a few seconds.

  “Told you. That lasted 25 seconds, he won’t be tired for the next round.” Thom said. “Peeta’s next.”

  Katniss nodded searching the ground until she spotted him, wearing a red singlet. 

  “Why is he wearing red ? Blue is a better color for him.” She asked, her eyes trained on the now familiar figure walking towards the mat. Damn, these singlets left little to the imagination. To say they were fit-forming was the understatement of the year. She could see all the lines of Peeta’s muscles moving as he approached the fighting zone.

  “Because he’ll be the first one called. It’s the rules.” She turned towards Thresh, who had the biggest smile on his face she’d ever seen him don.

  “Why are you smiling?” She was wondering what had been so funny in her words.

  “‘Blue is a better color for him’ - you sound like -” 

  “Be careful, Thresh. She shoots arrows…” Thom interrupted. “Now if you want to see Peeta wrestle, maybe you can look at the mat ?”

  With a last threatening glance towards Thresh that was met with another huge smile and air kisses, Katniss turned towards the arena, noticing how different Peeta’s posture was from Katø’s. 

  “He’s going to tire the Georgian who isn’t as flexible as he is. And as soon as there will be an opening, he’ll go for it.” Thom explained, as she watched the complicated dance of joint locks, takedowns, and other things she had no idea what they were.

  “This must be exhausting…” she whispered, as she saw Peeta finally going for the pin, immobilizing his opponent on the mat.

  “Well, it’s not crochet that’s for sure!” Thresh chimed into her thoughts as the crowd applauded the winner of the match.

  This was going to be a long day.

  __________________

  She needed to focus, now. Forget she was in the final of the Olympic Archery Tournament. Forget her dream was an arrow away. Forget she needed a nine to win the gold.

  She had to remember the wind, how it came lightly from the right to the left, how she needed to bend the trajectory just a little. She had to calm her beating heart.

  To forget Peeta was in the stands, watching. Katniss had cheered him on as he won his own gold medal two days ago, but now it was her moment.

  She needed to forget. 

  The way he had chased her when she tried to make a quiet exit.

To forget how they had kissed.

Their own celebration.

  She had to clear her mind of all this. 

Forget. Focus.

  A deep breath. 

Visualizing the arrow hitting the center of the target. 

  The chronometer was ticking. Tick. Tock.

  It was her last arrow. Her concurrents had already shot their own.

  She needed a nine.

  Only twelve seconds remain.

  She rose her bow.

Eleven seconds.

  Remembered her father’s proud look when she had won her first trophy.

  She let the arrow fly.

  She knew it would be a ten.

  She had won the gold.

  She fell to her knees, feeling the tears pooling in her eyes.

  “I did it, Papa, I won … I hope you’re proud..”

  The applause around her made her lift her head, then stand up, before she ran towards the stands, her bow still in hand, her eyes fixed on a figure that was coming down the stairs, towards her.

  She felt his arms around her as he hugged her over the bleachers, felt his hands going to her face as he looked into her eyes.

  “You remember to shoot straight, Grasshopper…” he whispered, for the two of them only.

  “Yes, Sensei”, she replied before kissing him.

  Click.

  FIN

[quicksilversquared]

Mishaps and Misunderstandings

In which Hawkmoth is an ass, Adrien is sarcastic, and Nathalie wildly misunderstands the situation.

links in the reblog

Hawkmoth was really becoming a pain in the butt now. For the past month and a half, he had been sending out akumas every other night, disrupting Ladybug and Chat Noir's sleep.

Maybe it wasn't the strongest akuma every time- in fact, most of the time, they seemed like bottom-of-the-barrel akumas, low on both powers and creativity- but that didn't change the fact that it dragged the superheroes out of bed and woke them up enough that they lost at least an hour every time. The akumas during the day didn't drop off, either, and between that and all of his civilian responsibilities and activities, Adrien was starting to feel more than a little bit spread thin.

It was exhausting, and he had to wonder how long he would be able to keep it up before he simply collapsed from exhaustion in the middle of- well, anywhere. At school, at a photoshoot, during fencing, in the middle of an akuma attack.

If he could make it to summer, Adrien was pretty certain that he could get caught back up again. But the problem was going to be getting to summer, which was still several months away. His friends were already starting to notice that something was wrong, and if they were noticing, then Adrien was willing to bet that it wouldn't be long before-

"Adrien, your last several photoshoots have been completely subpar. Your father is quite displeased with your work."

-his father's staff noticed, too.

Nathalie looked completely disapproving as she set a folder down on the table next to Adrien. A couple photos peeked out from the top. Peeking out from under the folder was the edge of another piece of paper, probably an updated schedule of what Adrien was expected to accomplish for the week.

"I understand that most of the photoshoots have been early, Adrien, but that's because we're trying to schedule around your other activities," Nathalie chided him, tugging out the piece of paper, and- yep, it looked like Adrien was right. Another photoshoot had been added, it looked like, and an additional fitting. Not that the fitting was really necessary, since the photoshoot was going to be with stuff he had worn before, but that hardly made a difference to the Gabriel staff. "Either we continue doing photoshoots before school, or we'll have to start pulling you out in the middle of the day to get them done while there's still decent light."

"No, then I'll fall behind!" Adrien protested, his mind already spinning with dread at the thought of how much more difficult keeping up with everything would be if he got pulled during school. He would have to stay up even later than he already was to catch up on the class that he was missing on top of what he missed during akuma attacks, and then- well, he could say good-bye to sleep, probably. "I can't miss class!"

He was only just making things work now. The mere idea of missing more class- and several hours for each photoshoot, probably, and in the middle of the day when he had his toughest classes- had panic welling up in Adrien's throat. The walls might as well be closing in on him, and his heartrate was already picking up.

Nathalie set the schedule down, fixing Adrien with a stern look. "Then we expect that you actually look awake and engaged during photoshoots. I don't see why that's a difficult thing to accomplish, it shouldn't be that hard-"

It shouldn't be that hard. Oh, really? Frustration welled up, sudden and overwhelming and shoving his growing panic to the side. Just like that, something inside of Adrien snapped, and he slapped his fork down on the table hard enough to make the entire setting rattle.

"Why is it a difficult thing to not look like I'm falling asleep? Maybe it's because I am falling asleep! And why would I not be?"

"Really-" Nathalie started, eyes rolling heavenward in clear exasperation, but Adrien didn't let her finish. His frustration had properly taken over now, words spilling out completely without his permission.

"I have a million and one activities that I need to be giving 100% in, all the time. I have to get up crazy early for photoshoots so that we can get them done before school, and we've been doing way more of those than usual because of all of the shoots that we have to redo because Father thought that it would be a good idea to humor Lila and let her participate even though she couldn't model at all. For some reason, you've decided that waking me up early or pulling me out of school makes more sense than pulling me out of fencing or skipping Mandarin or piano lessons for a week, or even just using some other model instead." It was all quite infuriating, really. It was hardly as though there weren't other teen models that had practically the same measurements as Adrien, and it wasn't as if his father couldn't make the executive decision to swap out models for a couple shoots. "And pulling me out of school is even more of a bad idea right now than it's ever been before! Do you want to know why?"

"Adrien-" Nathalie tried to cut in again, sighing, but- well, Adrien was tired and fed up and frustrated and just really, really tired and he wasn't going to let her get a word in edgewise.

"We've fallen even more behind schedule in classes than we did last year because of the akuma attacks," Adrien told her, jutting his chin out stubbornly. "And the teachers don't want the school year to extend into summer vacation again like it did last year, so they're trying to catch us up by cramming more and more into lessons during the day and giving us more homework and having us take online courses to help catch up even more. And that means hours more homework every evening and then I can't get to bed on time, even if I don't have extra lessons that day. And then when akumas show up at night- well, it's not like I can just sleep through a supervillain rampaging through the streets, can I? It wakes me up! Every! Single! Time!"

Nathalie paused, leaning back in her seat. "Oh. I see-"

"So if father is displeased by my work, well- tell him to make the nighttime akuma attacks stop, and maybe I'll actually be able to get enough sleep to do a decent job during photoshoots!"

With that, Adrien pushed himself up from the table- he didn't have an appetite anymore, and he had eaten most of his dinner anyway- and headed up to his room before Nathalie could respond. Once he was on his own, Adrien let out a long breath and slumped into the chair at his desk, massaging his temples as though that could make the headache that was starting up go away. Plagg floated out of his jacket, eyeing Adrien cautiously.

"Are you okay, kid?"

"Yeah, yeah, just- just tired," Adrien admitted, turning to his computer. He might as well at least pretend to get some schoolwork done before Nathalie came up to chide him for being disrespectful. "And then Nathalie deciding that now is a great time to add more to my plate- well, I'm a bit tired of it. So I blew up. Not that it'll do me any good."

"You don't think so?"

Adrien snorted. "What, do you think that Nathalie and Father will suddenly grow a heart and back off on my schedule? That's unlikely. They're going to get mad at me for being 'emotional' and blowing things out of proportion, I just know it. Emotional and also being unreasonable at the end there. Like, out of everything in the city that my father can actually control, making the night attacks stop isn't exactly one of them. And bringing that up as though he can actually make that happen as some sort of solution... well, he's going to see that as being emotional and ridiculous and immature. It's not like he can treat Hawkmoth and his akumas just like he does any other problem and just throw money at it to make nighttime akumatizations stop."

"Huh." Plagg considered that, then shrugged. "Well, at least Nathalie has a better idea of what you have on your plate now, with all of the school stuff. Maybe that'll make a difference in her planning, even if she does scold you for getting emotional about it."

"Yeah, maybe." Adrien glanced towards the door, honestly surprised that Nathalie hadn't followed him up yet, then turned back to his computer. "If only I could get so lucky."

  Downstairs, Nathalie slowly pushed herself to her feet, each movement slow and deliberate as her brain muddled through the shock.

She had thought that they had been careful. They had figured that having Adrien out of the house would lessen his chances of stumbling on their secret. Making Mr. Agreste largely unreachable and his schedule unpredictable- and pretending that he had gone out of the country when he really hadn't- was supposed to ensure that no one found out about their secret identities unless they told someone. And yet, despite how careful they had been, despite all of their precautions...

There was no other way to interpret Adrien's words, of that she was sure.

Nathalie knocked on Mr. Agreste's office door, then let herself in. Across the room, Mr. Agreste glanced up.

"Nathalie- what's wrong?"

"Sir, there's a problem," Nathalie told him, now starting to tremble. If Adrien knew- well, they hadn't explained everything to him. Adrien didn't know what was at stake, or how important it was for Hawkmoth to win. There was no way for them to know who else he had told, or if he had figured out what Hawkmoth's goal was. If he got mad at them and decided that revenge was more important than saving his mom... well, the police could be on them in under an hour. He hadn't yet, probably because he didn't want to lose his father, but- well, Adrien sounded close to cracking from the stress he was under. That put them in a much more dangerous position. "Your son- he- he's figured out your secret identity."

"He- what?"

  Adrien was officially baffled.

Overnight, Hawkmoth had practically done an about-face. There were no more akuma attacks after 8pm or before 9 in the morning, and they seemed to have dropped back to normal, pre-Heroes Day levels of akumatizations. The concentrated efforts to simply run the superheroes into the ground and defeat them that way just... stopped.

Not that Adrien didn't appreciate it! Because he totally, totally did. He had managed to get caught up on pretty much everything and do his first better-than-decent photoshoot in weeks. The timing was perfect, too, because he and Ladybug had both been pretty close to collapse. If they had continued at the same rate for even a week longer, Hawkmoth probably would have been able to get their Miraculous with no problem at all.

He and Mayura had no way of knowing that, of course. Ladybug and Chat Noir had always done their best to hide their exhaustion during akuma battles so that he wouldn't know when to press his advantage. So maybe Hawkmoth had expected them to cave sooner and had decided that their campaign of exhaustion wasn't going to work. Maybe the supervillain himself was getting really tired of staying up at night to try to find anyone who could possibly be akumatized. Maybe Hawkmoth was getting in just as much trouble at work as Adrien was getting in at school because of his absences and exhaustion.

Whatever it was, Adrien wasn't going to complain. He appreciated the break, and he was finally feeling properly human again. Ladybug clearly felt the same, if her more relaxed attitude during attacks was any indication.

Would it be better to have no akuma attacks and to have Hawkmoth (and Mayura) behind bars, or at least have a lead ? Of course- that was the ideal, after all, as long as he and Ladybug still hung out on a regular (and frequent) basis. But at least this was so much better than what it had been before.

He wasn't going to complain, but he was going to be a bit suspicious. Was Hawkmoth planning something? Ladybug certainly seemed to think so, and Chat Noir was inclined to agree. Both of them agreed to take the reprieve to relax a bit, but also not let themselves relax so much that they weren't catching up and getting ahead a bit with their civilian responsibilities. They didn't know when the other boot would drop, after all.

So when Nathalie approached Adrien after dinner with her tablet and a schedule balanced on top after several weeks of slow akuma attacks and also a relaxed civilian schedule, he was reading ahead for his Literature class, able to properly enjoy the story for the first time in a while. He glanced up as she approached, tucking a bookmark in to mark his spot before setting the book aside.

"Catching up on classes still?" Nathalie inquired, setting her tablet down. Adrien shook his head.

"Working ahead, actually," he told her, glancing at the schedule- or rather, schedules- that were balanced on top of her tablet. There seemed to be two versions, and Adrien had to wonder if she wanted to gauge how much he would be able to do- and do to a good quality- before settling on one or another. Or maybe she wanted his input, which- well, that would be new, and much appreciated. "So I can feel a little less stressed if things get busy again."

"Very good." Nathalie nodded in approval, then picked up the schedules. "So I wanted to talk to you about your schedule for the upcoming week. As requested, your father has stopped akumatizing people at night-"

Adrien's mind screeched to a dead halt, even as Nathalie kept talking, explaining the two versions of the schedule. He- he couldn't have heard that right, except- well, there was nothing else that she could have said, but why on earth would she just-just throw that out like it was the most normal thing in the world? "I- I'm sorry, what?"

Nathalie paused, her brow furrowing briefly, and then something that looked rather like worry spread across her face. "Uh..."

Adrien shot to his feet, even as he started feeling woozy from- from what, exactly, he couldn't put his finger on and there were more important things to think about anyway. "Did- you said that Father stopped akumatizing people at night! Father- he's Hawkmoth! Oh my god, I can't- I can't believe this-" The walls were closing in on him. He'd been fighting his father this whole time. His father had been the one behind the mask when Hawkmoth came out and tried to hurt them. Which meant- oh god. Which meant that Nathalie was Mayura.

He wasn't safe in this house.

"Ah, I mean, uh..." Nathalie stammered all of a sudden, clearly about to backpedal, but her expression- well, it gave away that yes, he had totally heard correctly the first time. "That is..."

Adrien turned and bolted.

  Nathalie felt like she was about to faint as she approached Gabriel's office on unsteady legs. Out of all the mistakes that she had ever made during her career- during her entire life, really- none were anywhere near as serious as the one that she had just made. Part of her wondered if it might be smarter to simply turn around and flee the city- or maybe even the country- instead of facing up to her mistakes.

But she had to warn Gabriel. It- it was the responsible thing to do. They had held off on sharing more information with Adrien before just because they had figured that he wasn't going to run off and tell anyone- if he hadn't before, then surely he had figured out why his father was Hawkmoth and had at least partially approved- and because he was busy and Gabriel hadn't wanted to distract Adrien while he was catching up on schoolwork and redoing much-needed modelling shoots last-minute. Now, though?

Adrien hadn't reacted to the news well, though maybe that was to be expected considering the way that Nathalie had shared it, and she hadn't been able to pull herself together in time to convince Adrien that what his father was doing was actually good. That meant that their entire plan was in danger, and it would take both her and Gabriel to get any decent damage control done.

If it wasn't already too late, that was. She- well, she had been so in shock over the realization that Adrien hadn't known that several minutes at least had passed by before she had been able to move.

Gabriel glanced up as she entered, and immediately straightened with a frown. "Nathalie? Are you feeling unwell? You look like you're about to collapse."

Nathalie nodded, then shook her head, forcing herself over to Gabriel. He was going to be furious, she just knew it, but there was no getting around it. "Sir, it appears that, ah." She paused, struggling with what she should say. "It appears that there has been a, ah, misunderstanding."

Gabriel frowned at once. "A misunderstanding about what? I thought you were just going to talk to Adrien about his schedule, surely whatever misunderstanding you had can't have been... that..." He trailed off, following her gaze towards his painting of Emilie, and then his face turned white. "No. Not that. There can't- no. Nathalie, tell me that there wasn't a misunderstanding about the Hawkmoth situation! That- it's impossible!"

"I'm sorry, sir," Nathalie managed, her voice dropping to a whisper. An angry Gabriel was like a thundercloud, ready to lash out at anyone and anything at any moment. "I didn't think that there was any other way to interpret what Adrien said before, but he- he must have been being sarcastic or something, I don't know-"

"We have to fix this," Gabriel announced, pushing himself to his feet and reaching for his brooch, rubbing it almost absentmindedly as he headed across the room. "We've come so far, there's no way that we can let our whole plan fail over a misunderstanding!"

Nathalie nodded at once, pushing herself to her feet. She followed Gabriel towards the door, eager to help rectify her mistake. Before they could get far, though, the ground shook violently under their feet, hard enough to fling them off of their feet. Gabriel and Nathalie both flailed, trying to grab for anything and everything that might help them get their balance back.

And then a bright light flashed across the room, and then- well, then there was nothing.

  It didn't take Ladybug and Chat Noir long to recover the Butterfly and Peacock from the rubble of the Agreste Mansion, along with the rest of the Miraculous-related things that Mr. Agreste had accumulated. Nooroo was quite a bit of help in finding things, though- well, the fact that the mansion was a tiny bit destroyed from a combination of Cataclysm and the Dragon's lightning made navigating their way around a tiny bit difficult, at least until Ladybug cast her Cure and put everything back together again.

"The lightning probably would have been sufficient," Nooroo commented dryly as Ladybug tucked yet another scroll away in the pocket dimension of her yo-yo, followed by the tablet that she recognized as Master Fu's. "It would have knocked them out, and you would have been able to accomplish everything just the same."

"And deny Chat Noir the opportunity to be dramatic?" Ladybug asked in amusement. "Never."

"And they might have dodged the lightning if they hadn't already been knocked off-balance by Cataclysm!" Longg chirped from their spot on Ladybug's shoulder, where they were chomping down on a biscuit to recharge. "It was quite the nice combination. And it got the police's attention, didn't it?"

They all glanced out the window, where red and blue lights still flashed outside of the gates. The two superheroes had carried the knocked-out former supervillains out to the waiting ambulances and police cars earlier, just to get them out of the way, and Mr. Agreste and Nathalie had been hauled away at once. The superheroes had given enough of a statement that the duo would be able to be held overnight, but they would probably have to go in to the station in the morning and talk to the police a bit more in order for them to file charges. Now, only a lone car remained, keeping the gawkers away while the superheroes finished up.

"It felt pretty satisfying," Chat Noir admitted. He had recharged once the mansion's walls went back up and he could run to his room to grab some cheese out of his mini-fridge. He shifted closer to Ladybug. "Though I didn't exactly intend to get my room, too. It just got a little out of control."

"Which is understandable. And it got fixed anyway." Ladybug did one last glance around the room, then snapped her yo-yo shut. "I think that's everything. And it's not like we're not going to be able to come back."

Chat Noir let out a shaky breath. "Right. Well, uh..." He floundered for a moment, glancing away and then back. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

Ladybug blinked at him, openly puzzled. "What are you talking about, Chat Noir? You're coming home with me, obviously. I'm not letting my kitty go home to an empty house."

"Really?"

  Ten minutes later, Marinette found herself trying to calm down an incredibly excited Adrien so that he wouldn't wake up her parents with his bouncing around her room. He was over the moon about learning Ladybug's identity, and even more so because she was Marinette instead of- well, literally anyone else.

Marinette was pretty sure that she was permanently red now thanks to all of Adrien's gushing after they landed in her room and she detransformed. It- well, it was a lot. And yes, it was really flattering that he had such a high opinion of her, but- but he was just so incredibly passionate about it and it was Adrien's sweetness and Chat Noir's enthusiasm and heart-on-his-sleeve-ness and it was just- it was a little overwhelming. Add in the fact that he had clearly picked up on her crush at some point, and- well, despite his father's and Nathalie's arrests, Adrien was clearly walking on air.

Eventually, though, Marinette managed to steer Adrien into bed. He passed out almost as soon as his head hit the pillow- too much excitement and ping-ponging emotions had clearly exhausted him- and Marinette was left lying next to him, petting Adrien's hair as he burrowed into her side and trying to process everything that had happened in the last couple of hours.

Maybe most of the time, misunderstandings- well, big misunderstandings, at least- weren't exactly a positive thing. But this time?

Well, this time, it probably couldn't have gone any better.

[upthenorthmountain]

Heartwood - Chapter Nine

Previous Chapters

The final chapter! Enjoy!

And a special thank you for the very special @karis-the-fangirl, for all her help now and always x

Chapter 9

“...Anna?”

Anna woke. She didn’t remember falling asleep, but now it was clearly morning. Kristoff was sitting on the side of the bed, fully dressed.

“Mmm?”

“I’m sorry, this is such a pain, I forgot I have to go into Town today - I have to go or I’ll miss my train. Will you be okay?”

“Mm. Yes. I’m fine.” He had said something about going to London the day after her birthday, and she’d forgotten too.

“I’m so sorry, I meant to…” he looked at his watch. “I’ll come home as soon as I can, okay? And we’ll - talk. And there’s something else I wanted to do yesterday but - anyway. Later, okay?”

To her surprise, he leant forward and kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll see you later. Go back to sleep.”

“See you later,” Anna said, and watched him go.

-----

It was almost eight, not so very early. Anna wasn’t sleepy any more so she got up and dressed. Yesterday’s events seemed distant already, almost dream-like - but they’d happened, and she could barely sit still, she was so caught up in wondering - had the doctor made a mistake? She couldn’t think of another reason why she was still here, breathing, heart beating as normal, as she paced the length of the garden and back.

At nine she rang the doctor’s surgery and made an appointment for later that morning. Kristoff would have taken the campervan to the station but she could call a mini-cab, or perhaps ask Lillian for a lift - no, she knew if she did that, she’d end up telling her everything. She had almost told Lillian, so many times, but she hadn’t wanted to make her sad; hadn’t wanted the time they had to be coloured by it. Kristoff had been good as his word, and never referred to Anna’s health, never treated her as if her strength was any less than his, and she was unbelievably grateful for it.

He’d said they needed to talk. Was he drawing the same conclusion she was? Or was he thinking that she had lied all along?

-----

“I see here,” the doctor said, reading her computer screen, “That you were scheduled for a follow-up from your last appointment but you cancelled it, any particular reason?”

“I - there didn’t seem much point.” Anna cringed a little, expecting to be told off.

The doctor frowned at her computer screen and clicked through a couple of tabs. “Yes, you’re probably right,” she said. “Looking at your results - not much point.”

Well, that was a little horrifying, coming from her doctor. Anna winced.

“Yes, a lot of people have these little blips,” the doctor was saying. “It’s good to have it in your records in case it gets worse but for now, no need to do anything. Have you had any further symptoms?”

“No,” Anna said. “Nothing.”

“Then I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“I shouldn’t worry about…” Anna paused. “I’m sorry, I’m confused. When I saw you, last year, you said...you gave me this.” Anna rummaged in her handbag and produced the letter, now looking a bit bedraggled. The doctor took it and glanced at it; then frowned and read it more carefully; then turned to her computer again and started clicking through various screens. “Odd,” she said. “I don’t see why - ha. Yes, we did have trouble with that one…”

“With what?”

“Oh, the machine - it wasn’t calibrated correctly - but we called everyone back in,” the doctor said. “Didn’t you get a letter?”

“I - moved,” Anna said. Well, that was true. She wasn’t going to sit here and say that she’d had a letter - possibly, actually, more than one - and ignored it.

“Oh, goodness, I am sorry. Yes, I can see your results here but it’s definitely wrong, we’ve estimated what it should have been although of course we can redo it if you like.”

“I’m not dying?”

“No, no. A mild murmur. Won’t cause you any trouble.” The doctor was watching her face carefully. Probably wondering why I look so horrified, Anna thought dully. 

“I’m so sorry,” the doctor said. “I will of course follow up with the admin staff and find out why they didn’t contact you again.”

“Of course.” 

The doctor cleared her throat, then reached across her desk and picked up a card. “And if you wish to contact our official complaints service, then I’m sure…”

Anna shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s....I’m sorry, I have to go.” She grabbed her bag and stood up. 

“Miss Rendell -”

“Mrs,” Anna said, and fled.

-----

And suddenly, all the happiness of that past year was gone. All of it had been built on a lie, a lie that had ended up being at someone else’s expense. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Didn’t even get a second opinion. Anna almost ran out of the surgery and along the road to the taxi rank by the station. She saw Kristoff’s camper in the station car park and flinched away from it, even though he was miles away.  

No wonder Kristoff hadn’t wanted to talk to her last night, had hidden away to avoid her. He’d realised what it meant, when the incident at the train track didn’t hurt her; he’d realised Anna was perfectly healthy, and that meant he was stuck with her forever. Or at least for another two years, wasn’t that how long it took to get a divorce? Or was it five? Either way. Oh, what if he’d thought she was lying all along; he must have been so angry. He probably wanted to talk to her later just to throw her out.

It was cowardly, to leave while he was at work, but she knew she needed to do it. She didn’t want to put him in the position of having to pretend he wanted her to stay, to say he didn’t mind. She had made him marry her under false pretences and she didn’t deserve his understanding. She didn’t deserve anything.

“Could you come back in an hour and pick me up again?” she asked the taxi driver when they pulled up at the end of the lane.

“It’s a bit of a drive out -”

“I just need to get my things together, I need to leave before he gets home,” Anna said. It wasn’t until the driver’s expression changed that she realised what she’d said.

“Of course, love,” he said. “I’ll be here. Do you want me to wait here while you get sorted? It’s no trouble.”

“Oh, no, it’s nothing like that -” But it would take too long to explain. “He’s at work until late. I’ll be fine, thank you.” The driver nodded but she noticed he didn’t pull away until after she’d reached the house.

-----

It took only half the time for Anna to pack her suitcase. Banjo rubbed up against her legs as she squeezed her clothes into the case and she bent down to scratch him under the chin. “I’m sorry, puss,” she said. “I’ll miss you.”

There were a few other things scattered around the house, and as she was gathering them in a carrier bag Anna realised that she did need to tell him why she had left. She should leave a note. But the only paper she could find was the shopping list pad, which had a design of cheerful vegetables - that didn’t seem very appropriate. Or the back of an envelope. Oh, dear.

Without thinking, she ran down the path to the office. It was locked, of course, but the key was under a flowerpot - she’d seen him take it out a hundred times. She didn’t think at all about what she was doing - she was just focussed on needing a piece of paper, and this seemed the most likely place to find one.

She’d expected a desk, maybe shelves or filing cabinets. There was a small table with a laptop, but it was connected to some other electronics she didn’t recognise. That was definitely a microphone, and speakers. His guitar was on a stand in the corner. But they weren’t paper, so she didn’t pay much attention to them. Instead she spotted an inkjet printer in the corner and took a piece of paper out of the tray, then went back to the house, locking up behind her.

Anna put her case and the bags outside the front door, then she sat down at the dining table with the paper and a biro from the kitchen drawer. Her mind was racing. What could be enough? Nothing. But she had to write something.

Kristoff,

I’ve gone home. I went to see my doctor this morning. She told me that there was a problem with the machine they used to diagnose me last year. There was never anything wrong with my heart and I am perfectly healthy and should live for decades.

I’m so sorry. I never meant to deceive you (she had to stop here for a moment to rub her sleeve across her eyes) and I hope you can forgive me. I will contact a lawyer and hopefully we can be divorced soon. I will of course pay all the costs.

Thank you for the happiest year of my life.

Anna

She took the ring off her finger and left it on top of the letter. 

-----

The taxi was waiting for her at the end of the lane. It had taken Anna a couple of trips to get all her belongings there, and the driver helped her fit everything into the boot.

She wasn’t going to cry. And she wasn’t going to look back at the house or the lane as they drove away.

The radio was on, and she asked the driver if he would turn it up, which he did quite happily.

‘....and now we have an exclusive - the new John Foster track, which I know you’ve all been waiting for -”

Oh, she’d forgotten about that. She’d seen about his new album online a few days ago, but with everything, she’d forgotten.

“- and you won’t have heard this anywhere else. I’ve heard it, and it’s a cracker, so settle down and enjoy. This is John Foster, his new single, Heartwood.’

The song began, and Anna’s brow wrinkled. This song wasn’t new - why, hadn’t she heard Kristoff play that intro a dozen times. He was always sitting around holding his guitar and playing little bits of tunes, and she’d liked that one. John Foster, you’re a plagiarist, she thought.

The lyrics began. Unusually for Mr Foster, it seemed to be a love song. There was a girl, and he loved her. He loved her, but they only had a year. For everything there is a season. That was what Kristoff always said. Well, she supposed it was no wonder she couldn’t stop thinking about him.

[They say

For everything there is a season

However many or how few

But if we only have a season

At least I spent this one with you]

She was going to cry. She concentrated on the words to try and avoid it.

[Your hair is honey in the sunlight

Your kisses honey on my lips]

Kristoff had said that. Something like that. Hadn’t he?

[When I come home and you’re not waiting for me 

Your sweet smile is what I’ll miss]

[They say

For everything there is a season

However many or how few

But if we only have a season, Anna

At least I spent this one with you]

Anna sat bolt upright in her seat. Did he say her name? She was imagining it. She…

...she knew Kristoff wasn’t John Foster; she’d seen John Foster perform. But she also knew that he didn’t write his own songs, there had been a heated discussion about that online that she’d avoided, because what did it matter? The songs themselves mattered. She hadn’t given much thought to who the songwriter actually was.

Except that she was married to him. That’s how he’d got the tickets to the concert, why he already knew the tune, how he made his money. And he’d written her a love song. His first love song.

No. She’d lied to him - however unintentionally - and it was a good idea for a song. It was a nice song; he was a talented man. She hoped the people of the world loved it and he made a heap of money, which he deserved, for putting up with her all this time.

But. He’d written her a love song.

She hadn’t let herself think about her feelings for Kristoff. Because she knew what they were. She’d known for a long time. If things had been different, if she’d met him otherwise - well, who knew how that might have gone. Maybe he’d have tired of her, anyway. Maybe she’d still have ended up alone, no matter how much she loved him.

Anna swallowed hard, and stared out of the window, watching the trees give way to houses, until they pulled up outside Elsa’s door. Anna’s door.

The taxi driver helped her get everything out of the boot and carry it up to the door. Anna tipped him well, found her old door key in the bottom of her handbag and let herself in.

No one noticed her, for a little while. She brought everything inside and started to carry it up to her bedroom, which was exactly as she’d left it. Anna wondered if it had been left for her deliberately, if Elsa had thought she might come back; or if no one had thought about it at all.

She was putting away some of her clothes when Elsa appeared in the doorway. “Anna?” she said. “Why are you here?”

“Because I’m not going to die,” Anna said, sat down on her bed, and burst into tears.

-----

Elsa clearly didn’t know what to do, but she sat down next to Anna and patted her on the shoulder, which is more than Anna would have expected. She listened while Anna told her the full story - or most of it - and she only said ‘Why didn’t you get a second opinion?’ once and ‘I wish you’d told me’ twice, which to Anna was acceptable.

“I’d actually been meaning to come and see you,” Elsa said, after they’d sat in silence together for a long moment. “I wanted to tell you something.”

“Tell me what?” said Anna, taking a whole handful of tissues and blowing her nose.

“I bought Bennett’s Field.”

“What? For what?”

Elsa hesitated, and looked at her hands. “The council has been looking for sites for a new country park. I bought the land to donate it. I thought - if you agree - we could combine it with the land we already own.”

Anna stared at her, mouth open. Then she said “That sounds wonderful.”

“I know that - you and I haven’t always seen eye to eye. I didn’t know how to be your guardian. I knew I wasn’t doing a good job, but I had no idea how to fix it.”

“It’s okay,” Anna said, automatically.

“No it isn’t.”

“We can start again. From now. As adults.”

“I’d like that.” They sat side by side for a while. “I haven’t even met your husband,” Elsa said.

Anna sniffed. “He won’t be my husband much longer.”

Elsa squeezed her hand. “You never know.”

-----

The doorbell rang at almost eleven that night, as Anna was contemplating going to bed. She didn’t want to climb into those white sheets, alone, but it had to be done; she’d put everything away, tidied it all neatly, had a long hot shower, and now going to bed was the only thing remaining. Until the doorbell rang. Elsa answered it.

“May I speak to my wife, please?”

Anna stopped at the sound of his voice, and listened, but Elsa’s reply was inaudible. Anna leant on the wall and peered round to try and see down the stairs.

“I just need to talk to her. I think - there’s been a misunderstanding. My fault. Is she here? Please?”

Anna walked out of the hallway and onto the top stair. Kristoff was standing just outside the front door, and when he saw her he stepped forward; Elsa moved backward to let him into the house. She glanced at them both, then shut the front door behind him and disappeared into the living room. Anna barely noticed her leave. Kristoff was standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking at her with an expression on his face that she couldn’t place.

“You can come up,” she said, for want of anything else to say. “Um. If you like.” She didn’t wait for him to reach her, but walked slowly into her bedroom.

“This is your room?” was what he said when he joined her.

“Yes.”

He nodded, slowly. Now that he was here he seemed to not be able to think what to say.

“Kristoff,” Anna said, “Are you a musician? A songwriter?”

He smiled, lopsided. “Yes.”

“I heard your song. On the radio.”

He nodded. “I knew it was being released today. I was going to play it for you yesterday, on your birthday. And tell you everything. Then I was going to do it today, but I got home and you weren’t there.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“About the songwriting?” He shrugged. “At first just because I knew you’d want to meet John and he and I don’t really get on. He’s a bit of a dick, to be honest. The record company matched us up, we aren’t friends.”

“But you don’t mind him recording your songs?”

Kristoff shrugged again. “They’re all just nonsense.”

“No, they aren’t. Kristoff, you don’t know what they meant to me, those songs, when I was alone and miserable. They’re wonderful.”

“The only one I care about is the one I wrote for you.”

He took both her hands in his. “I read your letter. You’re not going to die?”

“No. No more than anyone else, anyway.”

He squeezed her hands and she looked up to see him beaming at her. “Come home,” he said. 

“You don’t want me to do that. You don’t have to be polite.”

“I’m not.”

“I can’t come back,” Anna said. “And we have to get a divorce. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. We can be friends. But I know you only married me because you felt sorry for me and wanted to help me out. And I can’t stay married to someone who doesn’t love me, no matter how I might feel about them. It isn’t fair.”

Kristoff nodded and let her hands fall. “That’s my fault,” he said. “That you think that. Alright, yes - I married you because I knew you’d be miserable if you went home, and I thought I could help you. I thought you’d stay until you got your money, then you’d be off, and I was okay with that.”

Anna opened her mouth, but he wasn’t finished. “I didn’t love you then,” he continued. “Though I liked you well enough. And by the end of the summer I realised I was falling for you - but I remembered that you were going to die. And I couldn’t - I tried, I tried to stop myself. I told myself it was nothing. But my god, when I saw that train bearing down on you, I knew that I loved you. You have to believe me.”

He was so very earnest, that was the thing. He had never lied to her; looking into his eyes, she knew he wasn’t lying now.

“I love you,” she said. Kristoff smiled. He put his hand in his jacket pocket, and pulled out the ring Anna had last seen on her letter, on the table. He held it out to her in his open hand.

“Then come home,” he said.

And Anna realised that the only thing stopping her was the little voice in her brain saying that it was too easy. It was too right. How ludicrous, to have something you wanted so much offered to you freely, by someone who desperately wanted you to take it. But how wonderful.

Until her dying day - many, many years in the future - Anna never forgot the expression on Kristoff’s face as she took the ring from his hand and put it on. Never forgot how it felt when he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, knowing that this time, it really was forever.

-----

Anna woke, and it was so comfortable and familiar that it took her a few minutes to remember everything that had happened over the last couple of days. But she was home; this was home. Forever.

Something was unfamiliar, though. She could hear two men, talking. She got up, put on her dressing gown, and opened the bedroom door.

The back door was open, and the conversation was happening just outside it.

“Shouldn’t be a problem,” one man was saying. “Either just put it in the bathroom as it is or knock through here. Or could use that space for a shower. I’ll do you a couple of quotes, if you like.”

“That’d be great, thanks.” That was Kristoff.

“Lovely spot you’ve got here. Can see why you don’t want to move.”

“We’re fond of it.”

“You know,” the other man - a builder? A plumber? - said, “This floorplan, what most people do, is put some stairs in and convert the loft. You can probably get two bedrooms up there, or a nice master suite. Keep one bedroom downstairs if you want. That storage building, it’s brick, right?”

“Breeze block,” Kristoff said.

“So it’s a permanent part of the existing building, right, you could get planning to add that onto the house. Might not even need planning permission. You could get three bedrooms in here, easy, without having to make the actual building any bigger, except maybe some dormers in the roof. Up to you, of course. Depends how much space you think you’re going to need. Just the two of you, is it?”

“At the moment, yes. Though that’s certainly something to think about.”

“I’ll put together a rough estimate on that as well if you like. You don’t want to have to move when you have kids. Lovely spot.”

“That’s very true. Though right now I mainly don’t want to spend another winter listening to my wife complain about how cold the loo seat is.”

Anna laughed, and Kristoff looked over at her and smiled. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Anna said; and it was. The first, best morning of the rest of her life.

[hedwigstalons]

High Expectations - Ch15

Yup, this beast is still going and still growing.  Life sapped my energy so it has been a lot longer between updates than I would have liked but I’ve been experimenting with writing out of sequence to make use of whatever creativity I can grasp.  The plus side of this is that ch16 is in the editing stages and ch17 is also half written.  But anyway....it’s taken a while but here is ch15 in the saga that has become affectionately termed ‘Bad Jeff’.

@willow-salix has been wonderful at helping be fix the plot holes and pick out the parts where I contradicted myself.  I now have a proper timeline though (funky multicoloured spreadsheet and everything) so I shouldn’t tie myself in knots so much with the boys ages and milestones.

Earlier parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen

AO3 chapter link

Chapter Fifteen

The incoming call notification had Virgil scrambling for his phone, fumbling with the handset while trying to swipe a call accept icon that suddenly seemed too small and fiddly to be practical.  It took him three hasty attempts before managing to complete the action correctly, allowing him to finally speak to the brother who had been frustratingly out of contact.  Scott had been in LA for three days and Virgil was now desperate for news but he had promised he wouldn’t interfere lest he call at the wrong moment and inflame matters further.  It had been a nail-biting wait, forcing himself to be patient and trust Scott to call when he could.

“Scott, how is it?”  It took him a moment to register that the face on the screen wasn’t Scott’s despite what the caller ID proclaimed.  “Gordon?”  He was surprised to see a younger brother rather than an older one.

“Don’t sound so pleased to see me.”  There was an air of the old teasing Gordon making a slow return.

“Sorry.   Of course I’m pleased to see you,” and he genuinely was, the face that looked back at him was still too thin and pale for comfort but the hair was clean again and the eyes had lost their haunted glaze, “I just wasn’t expecting it.  Where’s Scott?”

“He’s here too.”  The scene on Virgil’s screen shifted quickly as the handset at the other end was spun round to reveal its rightful owner who gave a little wave.  “He said he was going to call you so I asked if I could go first.”

“Well, how are you?”

“I’m....okay.”  Virgil had made him promise in the past not to lie about how he was feeling, it was one of the reasons he had been pulling away; it didn’t count as lying if you just omitted the truth.  “It’s been a strange few days.”

“I’ll bet.”

“For a start I’ve found out that flyboy over there gets ever so twitchy if anyone else is at the controls of a plane.  You’d best hope you never have to take him as a passenger in that bumble bee of yours if it ever gets off the drawing board.  Or was it more like a turtle, that beast was green wasn’t it?”  The look of fear that crossed Virgil’s face would have been comical if it wasn’t so genuine and Gordon was given the sudden reminder that, as far as Virgil was concerned, he wasn’t meant to know about their father’s vision.  He was quick with his reassurances.  “It’s okay, Dad told me about his rescue plans”

“He still won’t tell Alan though” Scott called out from across the room, “Dad has taken him out to fetch ice cream so we can talk freely for a few minutes.”

“Ice cream?”

“Yeah,  I think he’s just trying to cover some of his own guilt.  He’s still no Dad of the year though.”  Scott's tone was derisive and Virgil could tell that tensions must still be running high.  “He’s going to have to tell him sooner or later, he can’t just spring it on the kid that he is being dragged out of school and shunted across the world when the island move happens.”

“What, you mean like he gave us time to prepare for the move to LA?”  Gordon snorted.  “I don’t know about you guys but me and Alan didn’t exactly get much warning when we left Kansas.”

This surprised the older two who had known all about the plan, the many arguments were etched in their memories.  In this case the problem child had been John.  Scott had been making the transition from university to the Air Force and Virgil had been busy preparing for his studies at Denver but John had been on a path that didn’t align with their father’s business plans.  The fifteen year old, with a coveted place at Harvard nearly in his grasp, had begged to stay so he could finish high school without interruptions; he had worked hard to stay two grades ahead of the curve and an inter-state move could undo it all.  Of course letting John live alone had been out of the question, and Jeff had not been prepared to delay the move, leading to  flares of temper and defiance that none of them had realised the middle child was capable of.  It was only when Grandma stepped in, offering to return from New Mexico to become custodian of the farm and care for John during that final year that their father relented.  With all of the concerns over John and his university dreams it hadn’t occurred to either of them that the youngest two hadn’t been told about the move.  Evidently their father’s policy of ‘need to know’ was long running. 

“Don’t worry Gords, Scott and I will make sure that Alan gets told.  If Dad’s idea happens, and knowing Dad it probably will, Alan won’t just have another move sprung on him.  I promise.”  There was sincere honesty in those deep brown eyes and Gordon gave a subtle nod of thanks.  “So tell me everything that has been happening over the last few days.”

Gordon recounted everything that had happened since Scott’s arrival, prompted by said older brother if he missed anything out.  Virgil winced at the revelations.  Even with the sanitised highlights he could tell that the last few days had been an emotional rollercoaster.  In some cases the revelations were beyond his worst fears and he couldn’t help feeling proud of his little brother who had been living through harder circumstances than any of them had imagined.

“Which brings us to today,” Gordon brought the tale up to the present, “Dad’s decided I need to learn to fly seeing as this island he’s chosen isn’t exactly on the commercial air routes.  Alan’s going to start learning too; Dad wasn’t happy about that idea but Scott reminded him that he started learning at Alan’s age.  You should have seen him up there, Alan is an absolute natural.”  Gordon’s voice glowed with pride at the achievements of his little brother.

“You didn’t do badly yourself” Scott cut in from across the room.

“So why were your knuckles white the whole time?”

“Hey, as you said, I just like being the one in control.  It was no different when Dad was piloting and he’s clocked up more flight hours than the rest of us put together.”

“I can just imagine it” Virgil snorted, “you should’ve seen him supervising John when he was learning to drive.”

Gordon glanced across at Scott who had visibly paled at the memory, before turning his attention back to Virgil. “So yeah, I’ve now got to fit in pilot training and exams around getting back up to strength for WASP selection.”

“And WASP is definitely what you want?  You aren’t just going along with it so you can get away from Dad?  I know you’ll be able to do it, but please don’t enlist unless you’re really sure.”

Gordon wasn’t sure if that was the concerned older brother or the family pacifist speaking; WASP was still military after all and Virgil had made no secrets of his thoughts in that direction.  But equally Virgil knew how stubborn he was and how he would never back down from a challenge and had managed to resolve his difference with Scott over the Air Force so he chalked the questions up to brotherly concern.

“Yeah, I’m sure.  It’s a good life Virg, something I can really make a career out of and the opportunities for officers…”

“Officer?” This definitely surprised the distant sibling.  The widened eyes elicited a slight blush from Gordon.

“Um, yeah, that was Scott’s idea.”  He was still having a little trouble reconciling himself to the notion that he was cut out to lead.  

“Not just my idea” said brother called out from his perch on the bed, “the Marineville lot wanted to transfer you to officer training too.  This time round you’ll just be applying for the officer steam from the beginning.”

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,”  Gordon shot Scott a glare of mock indignation, earning a chuckle from Virgil “it’s a good life.  And yes, this time I’ll be trying out as an officer.  I’ll have to redo the aptitude tests, different benchmarks and all that, but we’ve been looking into it and my scores were already at the right level.  There’s just one additional aptitude test for officers that I never took before.  I’ve tried an online practice test and did ok so I should be alright.  I’m booked in to take it for real in a fortnight.  After that it’s selection at Marineville again and then hopefully I’m in.  It’ll take a few months but by the summer I should have my first posting.  The officer intakes don’t happen as frequently as junior ranks so I’ve got time to train.”

“You seem to have it all mapped out and not a college course in sight.”

“Nope.  Thanks, both of you.  It’s...it’s been a hard few months and I couldn’t see a way out of it all.”

There was a noticeable slump in Gordon’s posture and the light went out of his eyes as the memories of his recent trials flooded back in.  It broke Virgil’s heart to see how on a knife edge his brother still was and he knew he and Scott would need to keep a close eye on their younger sibling for a long while yet.  At least Gordon had a goal to work towards again; they both knew his steely determination and drive to succeed. Once he had set his sights on a challenge nothing would stop him, the Olympics had proved that.

“Any time.  And don’t be a stranger.  If Dad starts getting on your case again or you just need to talk to someone you know where I am.  I’ve been told my couch is pretty comfy too if this new schedule of training and flying lessons allows you any time off.”

“Admit it, you just want me back for my cooking” Gordon smirked.

“Maybe…” Virgil gave his best puppy dog eyes, eliciting a chuckle from both his brothers.

Any further chatter was interrupted by the sound of the apartment door crashing open, announcing the return of Jeff and Alan from the grocery store, followed by Alan’s shouts that if they didn’t get out there quick there would be no chocolate chip left for them.  Both knew better than to treat this as an idle threat so with a hurried goodbye to Virgil they departed to claim their portions.

 xoxoxox

Life soon settled into a new routine.  Jeff still rarely made it back for dinner, they couldn’t expect miracles over night, but he was getting better at being home before Alan went to bed at least.  Gordon suspected that had something to do with the ‘discussion’ Scott had with Jeff the night before he returned to his Air Force base.  The voices that drifted through the firmly shut study door had shown a flare of temper from both sides and Gordon had been grateful Alan was already in bed and so not around to witness the argument.  It was just as well Tracys were good at putting on a front, by the morning of Scott’s departure the tension had been firmly suppressed and Alan had been able to say goodbye to his eldest brother without any hint of bad feeling spoiling the moment. 

Where life before the Olympics had been a mix of school and swimming, so life for Gordon going forwards became a mix of physical training and flight theory with time in the air thrown in at the weekends.   He passed the WASP officer aptitude test easily enough but the next available selection course date wasn’t until after his birthday, leaving him with several months to focus on gaining the appropriate endorsements on his pilot’s licence to allow him to transport himself to and from his father’s intended island base.  

Gordon wasn’t bad at flying but he didn’t possess the raw natural talent of his youngest sibling.  He was competent and thorough with a steady hand but he couldn’t miss the looks of pride Jeff directed towards Alan as yet again the youngest of the family performed a manoeuvre as if he had been at the control yoke since birth.  It didn’t stop at looks either, all too often Gordon found himself on the receiving end of an unfavourable comparison only this time it was against his younger brother as opposed to his older ones and the arena was cockpit rather than classroom performance.  Evidently, for Jeff, old habits were hard to quell.

This time though Gordon wasn’t facing his troubles alone.  Scott would check in with him occasionally until an overseas posting took him out of contact but Virgil was his real lifeline.  Virgil made sure there was never more than a week between calls and often the gaps were smaller if he sensed Gordon slipping back and becoming more distant.  The brother who had taken on the role of counselor seemed to have an uncanny intuition when it came to Gordon’s mood.   

The extended time around his father however was still proving difficult and Gordon found himself eagerly boarding a flight to Denver to catch a much needed break.

As ever, Virgil was there to meet him at the airport.

“Good flight?”

“It was ok.”

“Not tempted to crash the cockpit then?”

Gordon just rolled his eyes and carried on out to the taxi ranks.  To his surprise though Virgil directed the cab to take them to the smaller private airfield out of town rather than the apartment.

“Sorry Gords” he got in response to his querying look.  “You know Dad said you gotta keep up your air time and this was the only runway slot I could get.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the deal.”  One of the conditions of a weekend with Virgil was that he got some time in the sky to make up for the lesson he was missing with his father.  “Are you alright with me taking up your baby?”

“I trust you” Virgil shrugged.  He wasn’t quite as in love with and overprotective of his plane as Scott was of his, but neither was he going to let on to Gordon that he had had a long and in depth discussion with their father about Gordon’s ability and competence before he had agreed to help with Gordon’s pilot education.

Gordon always thought it odd that Virgil had a plane but didn’t bother to run his own car, although the longer he spent in the air the more he could see the appeal.  Scott of course had always loved flight and it was no surprise to anyone that a big proportion of his allowance went on maintaining a craft that screamed billionaire playboy.  Virgil’s choice was more subtle and practical, if operating your own private plane counted as practical; perfect for hopping around the country from his central base in Denver to visit family on his own schedule.  Despite also being in possession of big enough allowance to afford it John had neither car nor plane having declared that flying commercial was much more sensible for his main coast to coast journey and he wasn’t one for pleasure flying; he was much more interested in what lay outside the atmosphere, far beyond the reach of a mere plane.

At the airfield Virgil maneuvered his little hopper out of the hanger he stored her in and then passed control over to Gordon.

“Go on then, show me what you can do” Virgil prompted after giving Gordon a quick rundown of the specific take off speed and other essential details he would need to operate the plane safely.  He settled back in the co-pilot's chair, exuding a calm confidence despite itching to keep his hands on the controls; Gordon might be his brother and Jeff had given assurances that all would be well but Virgil was still uncomfortably aware that he has supervising an unlicensed novice pilot.  

His fears were soon dispelled once Gordon started going through the motions in textbook fashion including performing his own pre-flight checks despite having watched those same checks being performed just a few minutes earlier.  A short burst down the runway and they were up in the air.  It wasn’t graceful and Gordon lacked the finesse that came with experience but Virgil was pleasantly surprised at the amount of  progress Gordon had made in such a short space of time.

The problem with flying though is that unless you are practicing something like aerobatics then just keeping a plane in the air is actually pretty easy, it’s the take off and landing that takes skill.  They weren’t making a journey so there was no real navigation to do beyond avoiding the restricted airspace and corridors used by the commercial flights and the weather was clear so flying by instruments was unnecessary.  All in all it was a thoroughly untaxing lesson, allowing them to relax and enjoy the time together.

“So how’s your project going?” Gordon asked as he banked to avoid flying directly over a village.

“It’s okay.  I’m on track to be done by the summer.”

“What will you do after that?  Move back to LA or stay out here?”

“Neither, hopefully.”  Gordon gave his brother a questioning glance of surprise.  “Got to get space rated for Dad’s project.  Me and John’ll be heading out to Tracy College for that, just waiting for confirmation of a course place.”

“Space rated?”  He had realised John would need to undergo astronaut training in preparation for life on a space station but most of the project specifics were still a mystery to him.

“Yeah.  Someone’s got to be able to play taxi service for John and I might need to take a rotation on call monitoring; he can’t live off planet forever.”

“Sounds like plans are really coming together for it.  Does this mean Scott will need to get space rated at Tracy College too?”

“Scott…”  There was a heavy pause and Gordon took his eye off the sky to regard his brother.  Virgil’s brow had furrowed into a frown and when he spoke again there was a heaviness that told of hidden arguments.  “Scott isn’t joining, he’s sticking to the Air Force.”

This surprised Gordon.  In the few conversations he had had with his father about the project, usually confined to a cockpit where Alan couldn’t overhear, Scott was talked about like Virgil was, as a committed member of the team. His role as first responder and pilot of the envisioned rocket plane had been presented in terms of undisputed fact.  No wonder the topic made Virgil look stormy, he was a peacemaker and if Scott wasn’t fitting in with their father’s vision Gordon could imagine that the arguments had been many and explosive.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.  Oh.”

“So what’s going to happen there?  Surely you can’t manage with just the three of you?”

“I don’t know.  I’d like to think there is a contingency plan but Dad seems so sure Scott’s going to change his mind and do it.  They’re both as stubborn as mules though and neither wants to give up their dream.  It’s a good project, the tech looks amazing and we could really save lives.  I can see Scott’s point though, he’s made a life for himself away from Dad and, well, you know yourself what Dad can be like for giving orders.”

Gordon knew all too well what it felt like to be on the receiving end of those orders, particularly when they were at odds with your own plans.  At least Scott had the advantage of physical distance as a buffer to the disapproval and if push came to shove, if Jeff cut Scott off as punishment, the Air Force pay was enough to live on even if it meant Scott had to change his lifestyle to suit the lower budget.

Gordon made the final approach back towards the airfield, diverting the full attention of both brothers to monitoring the landing.  As with the take off it wasn’t polished and it wasn’t pretty but it was safe and Virgil found himself once again admiring just how far his brother had come in such a short space of time.  He wondered if, given time, Gordon would join the team.  Jeff hadn’t made any mention of Gordon taking on a role in the rescue organisation, even if he was now allowed to know of its existence, but there was no denying that having an extra pilot on books could only be a good thing.  Maybe one day he and Gordon would fly together, the more time he spent with his brother the more he enjoyed the company although, Virgil reflected, if they were to fly as a team he would be happier if Gordon took the co-pilot’s position.

With the plane back on the ground and safely returned to her berth in the hangers Virgil pushed all thoughts of Gordon joining the rescue business out of his mind; unless their father issued the instruction there was no point even considering the option.  And anyway, Gordon was heading off to the military like Scott had so who knew if he would even want to join the project.  Better to just let their father know that the required flying lesson had gone without a hitch then settle back to enjoy the weekend. 

[onebangtanstan]

Power Style - Chapter Eleven : The revenge

A/N : Ok this is shorter than the previous chapters but DYNAMITE CAME OUT so that's what I've been doing. GO STREAM! 💜

He notices me staring him down. He scoffs before coming my way. We lock eyes and start an unspoken staring contest, just like the other day. As he's getting closer to me, I feel the muscles in my body tense up. His presence is enough to piss me off.

"You're late Namjoon." He's now standing right in front of me, forcing me to look up.

"It's M.Kim to you." His eyes are shooting bullets at mine, and so are mine, but neither of us looks away. We're both way too proud to do so.

"I don't have time for this." I turn away from him, starting to feel dizzy from keeping my head up to look at him. "Go get your make up and fitting done, we're all waiting for you Namjoon." I refuse to give into his twisted game, we're here to get a job done, whether we like it or not.

He executes himself, but I sense he's not happy with that. We can all see that he's stalling, and trying to annoy us. Thank God my team knows what they're doing and isn't giving into him either. 

We can finally start the shoot an hour and a half after the original time. He stands in front of the camera, and I don't recognize the man posing right now. He turns into this extremely professional guy. The harsh lines he usually wears on his face have completely disappeared, making him look even better than usually.

Even though he annoys the shit out of me, I have to admit that he is a beautiful man. He's the stereotype of the ideal guy : tall, well-built, perfect amount of muscle, a jawline that could cut you. Even when he's the biggest asshole, his clenched jaw and frown make him look good.

To my surprise, we actually finish the shoot quite quickly. The team packs up and starts heading back to the office. I'm about to do the same when I'm turned around by a firm hand on my arm. I am facing Namjoon once again. I mean, I am being towered by him once again.

"Listen to me" He spits, talking only a few centimeters from my mouth. "It's the last time you talk to me like that, do you understand me?"

I set myself free from his grip by throwing my arm down. "No, you listen to me." I feel the fury raising in my body. "We have to work together, and I couldn't care less if you don't like me. The thing is, I am in charge of this campaign so you're on my turf now. You listen to me and do what I say. Am I making myself clear enough for your tiny brain?" 

It looks like he wasn't expecting this reaction from me. He's about to answer but I immediately turn around and start storming out of the room.

I walk back to the office, feeling the need to clear my mind. I can't have him disturbing my schedule, and I most definitely can't go into the meeting with the mindset he put me in.

By the time I get back to work, the whole team is already sitting in the conference room, working on the editing. We do that all afternoon and plan the group shooting for the next day. We're going to have to take unit pictures, group pictures and shoot the commercial. We will be there all day, so I let everyone go early to get enough rest for tomorrow.

I decide to chill at home for the evening. I still have a bit of a bad mood because of today, so I put on yet another cheesy rom-com.

Just as I sit down with a bowl of popcorn, I receive a text from Jin. For once, I don't have that tightening in my stomach. I open it :

J : Hey, how are you doing? We haven't talked lately..

G : Hi! I'm good, how about  you? I know, I'm sorry, I had a lot going on..

J : No worries, I've just been thinking a lot about you..

We end up texting the whole evening, catching each other up on our lives, and it feels really good. We eventually start talking about deeper stuff. Jin tells me that he really likes me and can't stop thinking about me, making me blush. Thank God he can't see me right now. I start typing and send a text without thinking too much about it. I have to give him something.

"Jin I need to tell you something. One of the reasons I have been distant with you is because I have issues with relationships. I'll explain it to you eventually but not by text. I hope you understand that it has nothing to do with you, and that I appreciate the time we spend together."

A few minutes -that feel like an hour- pass before he answers, making my heart pound. 

"That's okay Gina, I understand. I'll go at your pace." I smile at his text.

We say our goodnights and I end up falling asleep with a warm feeling inside of me.

I wake up in a good mood, but the group shot pops into my mind, bringing my mindset down just a bit. I feel very pressured and anxious about it. Everything has to go perfectly, because we won’t have time to redo it.

I do the usual, get ready and head to the set. I stop on my way to get a cup of coffee and also get a big bag of french pastries for everyone. We'll be needing a bit of sugar before the day starts.

The boys haven't arrived yet, but we are already going through the schedule for the day. I talk with each person to make sure they know what they're supposed to do. Of course they do, I'm just doing that to calm my nerves.

Tae and Kook are the first to arrive. They're very clingy towards each other which makes me smile at them.

"Hey guys" I say as I hug each of them. "How are you guys doing?"

"We're very good." Tae tells me, making Jungkook blush. My heart could burst, they're so cute. I haven't gotten to a point where I can talk to them about whatever is going on between them, but I feel like that will be coming up sooner than later.

"Perfect. I need you all in a good mindset today."

"Well, we'll see about that." Jungkook starts, making me raise an eyebrow. "Yoongi is riding with Hobi and Jin, he spent the night there. And to be honest, we never know what to expect from those sleepovers, especially about where their minds are set."

Tae elbows Jungkook in the arm, making him realize he spilled something he shouldn't have. He opens his eyes wide.

"Shit" He says, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"It's ok, I had figured something was going on there. I won't pry, don't worry." I wink at them. 

I notice relief on their faces. I offer them to get something to eat before getting their makeup done, making Jungkook run towards the bags of pastries. 

While they're picking out what to eat, I hear the door open. Jimin enters the room and boy, does he make head turns. He has that je ne sais quoi about him that makes his presence noticed. He barely looks at anyone, heading straight for Tae and Kook. I see him take a pastry, only eating a few bites, and leaving towards the toilet straight after. "JIMIN" Tae starts running after him.

I quickly look away, feeling that I shouldn’t be witnessing whatever is going on, and notice the door open. Yoongi, Jin and Hobi enter. Jin is first, and comes straight to me, giving me a warm hug. It feels good to be circled by his big arms. He breaks the hug with a peck on my forehead. There must be an army of butterflies in my stomach at this point.

Hobi comes in for a hug next, being his usual charming self, but something is off. The spark in his eye is not there. It almost looks as if he's cried? I hold on tight to him, sending some love through my arms. I feel him sigh. 

"Fancy a drink tonight?" I ask him. He needs someone, I can feel it.

"I would love that." He speaks in a low, appreciative voice. I can see his eyes twitch for a second.

"Your coat is amazing!" I quickly change the subject, sensing he's about to breakdown. He smiles back at me and goes to say hi to the boys.

Yoongi, who was already with them, came towards me as Hobi arrived. Shit, there's going to be tension today.

"Hi Gina" Yoongi is near me now, and he looks.. Well, he looks like himself. Nothing is being let through by his face, nor his eyes.

"Hey! How are you?" I ask, trying to hide the fact that I know something is wrong.

"Okay, I guess.." 

We both turn our heads as we hear Jimin's voice coming from the other side of the room.

"V, I said let it go!" 

Tae walks behind him, arms hanging on each side of his body, a powerless look on his face. All the boys turn around to him with an empathetic smile, almost as if they were telling him « it’s okay, you did your best ». They seem know the struggle he’s just gone through. The whole crew is looking at them too, which is exactly what Jimin wanted. He knew that by coming in here, the conversation would stop.

"The only one that could talk to him right now is Joon" Yoongi tells me. I scoff, having trouble seeing Namjoon comforting someone. Yoongi turns to me "He's actually lovely to the people he cares about. He helped me through a lot."

"Yeah, well he made it clear that he doesn't care about me or even about making my life easier."

Yoongi is about to answer, but a loud bang resonates. It's the front door.

Namjoon appears with his leg still in the air. Everyone has stopped what they were doing to stare him down for kicking the door open.

But I couldn't care less about that. I've noticed something else. Something that could fuck up the entire shoot. 

Seeing it sends me in a state of rage so intense that I clench my fists, feeling my nails press into my palms. He stands tall in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. He's proud of himself, and he's now looking at me with a defying smile.

HE IS FUCKING SMILING AT ME. I am dumbfounded by the nerve this man has.

It might not seem like a big deal for everyone else, but I know that he did this on purpose to delay the shoot as payback for what I said yesterday.

He dyed his hair white.

A/N : White-hair Namjoon is back. Hands down his best era, no argument on that (second best, now that we have Blue Namjoon)

I mean LOOK AT HIM.

[trulovell]

An evening together || Trusa

Who: Tru and Rosaline

Where: Home

When: Tuesday 18th December 2018

Notes: Tru and Rosaline have both had a busy day and attempt to get their relationship back on a better path with mixed results.  Pretty long

Rosaline had anticipated today’s rehearsal being long and hard but just how long and hard it had been had still taken her by surprise.  Entering their home she heard Tru moving in the kitchen and after kicking off her shoes and dumping her bag she went to join her Domme.  “M’home Miss,” she murmured wearily, her voice scratchy from overuse.  The submissive moved in close, curling her arms around Tru’s waist and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.  “Was your day as draining as mine?”  As she looked down she spotted some of her green makeup remained on her hands and arms and she chuckled softly as she released Tru and made her way over to the sink.  “Will you still love me when this show has turned me permanently green?”  She asked with an overly dramatic sigh and a playful smirk.

Tru was exhausted by the days events.  There was no other word for it.  She wasn’t cut out for meetings with pompous idiots who thought their suit put them well above her.  Thanks to Bella the University property had been secured and the work on that had now begun and Tru’s visit there was the small highlight of the day.  However much of the day had been spent dealing with insurance issues on the actual brothel and it brought home to her how much she would have hated office work and why she was putting so much effort into getting new premises ready to go as quickly as possible.

She was lost in her thoughts as she stirred the pot, not even really paying attention to her own actions but turned with a smile at Rosaline’s greeting.  “Hello Starling,” she sighed, accepting the soft kiss.  “It was exhausting,” she agreed, a small laugh as Rosaline went to wash the green paint off again.  “Am I going to have to get a doctor’s letter to carry with you to prove you don’t have some sort of contagious disease causing the green hue?” she chuckled.  “Dinner will be in about fifteen minutes so you have time for a quick shower if that will be more effective.”

If there was one thing which was always guaranteed to make Rosaline swoon it was hearing her nickname come from Tru’s lips.  She gave the Domme an appreciative squeeze before moving to the sink.  “That’s probably a good idea,” she replied, feigning seriousness in her tone but her smirk revealed she was joking.  “You’ll also have to have some kind of speech ready for every time you’re asked why I’m not locked in a confined room.”  The makeup on her arms was being stubborn so she gave up and returned to Tru.

“I think I’ll need more than fifteen minutes to shift this.  At least you’ll never lose me in the dark as I’ll glow like some weird lemming,” she continued to tease as she wrapped her arms around her Domme again, craving the contact.  “I could do a great She-Hulk cosplay though…” she went quiet and rested her head on Tru’s chest, pulling herself in closer.  “You only suggested a shower to keep me away from the food,” she murmured, unable to resist further teasing.  “Tell me about your day?  You need to go first so I know where the level is so I can make mine seem worse.”  She giggled and turned her big dark eyes up to the Domme’s beautiful face, genuinely interested in Tru’s day despite her playful comment.

Tru rolled her eyes at the joke though her lips twitched.  “If I wanted to keep you away from food I’m sure there are easier ways,” she laughed as she looked round and caught sight of the big, doe eyes looking at her.  “Well I met with the contracting team for the university building and talked through plans.  I like having the different coloured rooms, it really helps create the moods so they are happy to do that and that meeting was alright.  They reckon they are on course to open mid January so I now need to decide whether I want some sort of big launch or something quieter.  Then I had to meet with the insurance company and the loss adjuster and …..let’s just say there are good reasons I became a whore.  These people are not human.  The way they spoke to me was just so insulting, it was as if they were so above me.  I deal in figures everyday and I may not have a degree in accountancy but I certainly understand the concept of the bottom line!”  She let out a breath as she felt herself get riled again.  “I’m thinking of getting Nox to come along to the next meeting and see if they are patronizing to him.”  She pushed her hair back from her face as her shoulders dropped a  little.  “Alright Starling your turn.”

“Like tying me to the sofa just to be sure I don’t interfere,” Rosaline continued her teasing and had so nearly said bed instead of sofa but she hadn’t quite built back up to that stage.  At least she was being affectionate and giving physical contact again unlike the awkward first few days when she first moved back in.  The submissive’s nose turned up at the mention of contractors but her playful smirk soon returned as an idea struck her, but she didn’t interrupt and kept listening as Tru continued.  “If you need ideas for room colour schemes I’m sure I can come up with a Star Wars one Miss,” she cooed playfully but then sighed.  “I’m sorry you have to deal with them Miss,” she said softly, her hands running up and down Tru’s back.  “You can remember how they treated you though and return the favour if they ever require your services.”  A nod of agreement followed the idea of Nox going with her next time.  “That… would make me feel better about it too Miss,” she added, thinking the supportive presence would be good for the Domme even though she knew Tru was perfectly capable of handling everything herself that didn’t necessarily mean she should.

“Urgh, where do I start?” She breathed with a sigh, pulling Tru even closer.  “We’re so, so close Miss, and people are still messing about.  I get it in the first few months but we have to be serious now, there were a number of… chats, let’s call them, in the producers office today.  Riccardo was an ass again and ate cherries, drank a cherry drink and sprayed some cherry smelling thing all over him right before our kissing scene… I was actually sick, which messed up the makeup which put us behind schedule.  They knew it wasn’t my fault though.  I’m just grateful he’s the backup so I should only get 3 or 4 performances with him in total.  Oh, and y’know that song and step sequence I’ve been practicing over and over and driving you mad with?  I nailed it… But Alexandra kept fluffing her last lines right near the end so we had to keep redoing it.  I think the pressure is getting to her and being newly single isn’t helping.  If I send her your way do you think you could squeeze her in with one of your men who like non-sexual scenes?”

Tru could tell how tired Rosaline was when she pulled her even closer.  She let out a grunt of annoyance as she heard about Riccardo purposely setting up Rosaline and especially to hear that he made her sick.  Her lips moved into a smile as she heard that the submissive had got the routine right, she had performed it for the domme so many times that she felt she could almost perform it herself.  Chuckling at the end of the story Tru nodded, “I can certainly do that but it would have to come from Alexandra and not you.  I’m not in the business of setting up friends for scenes, it has to come from them.”  Whether Rosaline was serious or not Tru wasn’t sure but she was very serious about her work and business.  “Right my sweetheart let’s get you fed and then into a warm bath or shower and see if we can restore you to a more normal colour for a few hours.”

“Oh I know Miss,” Rosaline replied, he big eyes still gazing adoringly up at Tru, “she mentioned it first… well actually she said she was desperate to get laid but when we talked during a break we agreed to minimise the risk of rebound it should be non-sexual at first.  She didn’t want to burden you with bookings because she saw what happened in the news.  So I said I’d have a word and here I am.  I’ll tell her to call you.”  The idea of eating something and getting properly clean was definitely appealing but Rosaline was in a playful mood and tightened her grip on the Domme even more.  “Does that mean I have to let go?”  She mumbled, pouting up at the beautiful Domme but her face split into her mischievous smirk and she backed away a little, hand dramatically rising to her chest.  “Then it’s true… you are ashamed of me looking like this,” she whined, projecting her voice as best she could despite its scratchines.  The hand on her chest rose to her forehead.  “Oh woe is me, whatever shall I do now!?”  The submissive cracked then and burst into a fit of giggles, clearly her fatigue was making her more bratty than usual.

Tru gave a loud chuckle as Rosaline confirmed that she knew how these things worked and she had already made it clear the other submissive would need to make her appointment direct with Tru.  “We need all the bookings we can get, I have wages to pay,” she said with a smile.  It wasn’t the financial situation was dire and she didn’t want Rosaline to think it was but she also couldn’t waste the money she had.  She held up her hands in surrender as Rosaline started her theatrics.  “Far be it from me to say that,” she agreed with a smirk.  The tone in the submissive’s voice gave hints of her brattiness and Tru looked right into her eyes, her stomach flipping.  The blonde wanted nothing more than to tell her to bend over, pull down her panties and give her ass a good spanking justified by the tone but in reality she sensed it was necessary for them both.  However she was still hesitant to offer any real dominance beyond simple commands and so she just kissed the brunette’s cheek.  “Sit down Rosaline, we both need to eat,” she said simply instead.

Rosaline smiled when Tru laughed, it was such a wonderful sound and one she had definitely missed with everything that had been goin on, it was made all the better for knowing she had been the cause of it.  “Maybe I’ll send the whole company your way Miss,” she replied with a smirk, “relieve some of the frustration that is clearly there.”  The moment Tru’s stunning blue eyes locked onto her own Rosaline felt herself getting instantly lost in them, drawn to do absolutely anything the Domme commanded and she could feel her heart rate increase, her stomach tie itself in knots from the idea of what could happen.  She felt her knees going weak, ready to take the weight of her as she submitted to the woman she loved but then the moment was gone and she was being kissed on the cheek.  Rosaline knew what she wanted, she just didn’t know how to ask for it - or more specifically she knew how to ask, she just wasn’t sure she could.  “Yes Miss,” she replied just as simply as the order had been given and shuffled over to the table to take her seat.

Tru could feel the palatable heat between the two of them.  The spark was still there but there was a definite hesitation too.  One that couldn’t be quickly fixed she knew, or rather she didn’t know having never been in the position before.  She had heard people at the brothel talk, submissives who didn’t know if they could forgive their Dominants, Dominants crying in the bar over a wandering submissive.  It didn’t happen all that often but there were occasions and Tru could offer up all the tea and sympathy they needed but more often than not what they needed was a good scene to sort themselves out.  The thought hung heavy in her mind as she began to serve up dinner.  In some strange way the fire had been a blessing in that it gave her a good distraction - but then again if the fire hadn’t happened neither would anything that followed.

With a long breath out she closed her eyes and centred herself before taking the two plates over to the table.  “Tell me more about Riccardo,” Tru said after she had eaten a bite.  “Do I need to deal with him because I’m not going to allow some jumped up idiot to make you sick when you are working so hard.”

Rosaline’s internal battle continued as she took her seat.  Her heart was telling her to strip, kneel and bow, to beg to be used but her head fought the instinct and placed the immovable image of some guy’s hands all over her Domme.  Deep down she knew she had forgiven Tru, she just didn’t know how to move on.  “Other than he’s an ass?”  The actress relief with a heavy sigh, smiling at the offer to have him sorted out.  “He’s new at the agency, thinks he’s the next big thing with an ego so overinflated he probably floats if he jumps.”  She tucked into her food for a moment, humming happily at the taste.  It wasn’t like her to bitch about her costars, but Riccardo had done nothing of merit in her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure our first rehearsal was the first kiss he’s had, he’s terrible at it even without the cherry.  But of course has all these huge elaborate stories about how many girls he had back in Rome.”  She sighed heavily and turned her big doe eyes on Tru.  “Of course he’s a Dom… which makes me second class to him and… well, I can’t say it do anything.  And honestly, people are nervous he’ll pull a cherry stunt during an actual show so any ideas to deal with him are gratefully received Miss.”

Tru’s blood boiled as she heard about the way this jumped up little boy was acting.  How dare he treat her submissive with such disrespect and as her eyes settled on the new collar the brunette was wearing her lips began to curl.  “He may be a Dominant Starling but that certainly does not make you second class and if that is how he views it then believe me, he’s not a good Dominant.  However I think I may need to visit you at rehearsal very soon.  Perhaps we need to show him exactly how fierce your Dominant can be - if that is what he is confused about.  Or we can give him a clear idea of how Dominance and submission work if he really considers you less than him because you chose to be a submissive.”  She took a bite of her food as she considered what she could do and was actually quite looking forward to meeting this Riccardo and his ego.

Rosaline thought she would hate the feeling of ‘needing’ to be rescued but hearing Tru’s supportive words, how she would come to her defence and see Riccardo for herself reminded the submissive why she had fallen for the Domme in the first place.  “I’d really like that Miss, thank you.”  She offered a big smile.  Being one of the few claimed submissive’s in the company meant Tru basically had an all access pass and the thought of Riccardo being taught a much needed lesson made her smile even brighter.  “Is all of the above an option Miss?  Just to make sure we cover all bases.”  Her hand reached out to hold her Domme’s for a moment and her big dark doe eyes gazed into her blue ones.  “I know how busy you are Miss, and I don’t want to add to that but if you have the time a visit would be wonderful.”

Tru held the submissive’s gaze for a moment, speechless as she gazed deep into her eyes.  “I’m sure we could work on all of the above,” she said with a small smile as she broke the moment.  Her stomach twisted with nerves in a way which was quite unfamiliar to the domme these days, she always felt she was past that.  “I’ll check my schedule the next few days and see when I could call in.”  She returned to her food though her mind was elsewhere. There was so much hesitation between them both and she didn’t know how to move beyond it, frightened that she might push too far.  She didn’t blame Rosaline for wanting to take things easy and build up the trust between them again, she rather felt that way herself but from a different point of view, however with the brothel still out of action she was managing more paperwork than doing any kind of scene at work and without Rosaline available in the same way she was already starting to suffer.  Glancing up she  took in the girl’s beautiful features and wanted nothing more than to see her tied up and begging.  Tru looked back down at her plate and lost herself in thoughts that veered between denying her good girl over and over for an evening and forced orgasms until the brunette was begging her to stop - both fully enjoyable activities in Tru’s mind.

Rosaline felt another surge in her heart rate as she held Tru’s gaze, once again feeling that spark between them and for a moment she leaned closer, ready to slide off her hair onto her knees but the connection was broken before she could act.  Following Tru’s lead she returned to her food but kept glancing up at the beautiful blonde, stealing looks like a smitten schoolgirl in class.  With their food finished Rosaline was struck by what she could only describe as first date nerves even though they had been together over a year now.  Thinking back she wondered how they would have gotten over the awkwardness in their early days and the submissive’s playfulness came surging forward.  “Am i your desert Miss?” She cooed flirtatiously, a mischievous glint in her eye which was matched by her smirk.  She could feel herself trembling with nerves but this one didn’t let it stop her, she wanted this so much, she wanted Tru to have her.  Rosaline slid from her chair and dropped to her knees beside Tru, she had done some kneeling recently of course but this time her hands went behind her back and her head bowed - the pose Tru loved and had taught her.  Their pose.  “Please can I be your good girl?”

Tru was surprised as Rosaline dropped to her knees beside her though she was secretly very happy.  She needed the submissive to be sure though.  Once they passed this point she wasn’t willing to drop back to the hesitant and restrictive behaviour again.  Putting a finger under Rosaline’s chin Tru tipped her head up so she was looking at the domme. “I want you to be sure Starling.  You are mine, that’s not changing.  But this, what you are asking…..I can’t go back and forth.  If we do this then I am forgiven and we move forward.”  Neither of them were likely to forget the actions in a long time but she wasn’t willing to have it thrown back at her repeatedly either.

Rosaline felt her stomach lurch with nerves again as Tru’s finger was placed under her chin and directed her gaze up.  “I miss you so much Miss,” she blurted out the moment their eyes met.  “I forgive you.  I can’t bare to go on like this, I’ve wanted it for a while I just wasn’t sure you did and I didn’t know what to say or do.”  The submissive took a breath and let it out slowly, never breaking the eye contact with her Domme, letting herself get lost in those pretty blue eyes she loved so much.  “I just…” Just what?  Even she wasn’t sure, she was sure of this, sure this was what she wanted and what it meant, she definitely wanted them to move forward instead of looking backward, wanted to be Tru’s good girl again with everything she loved about that status.  “I just… might have some different needs for a while, until we get back to how we were…” Her brows were furrowed, she was thinking aloud to be totally honest with Tru, just like the Domme had been with her.  “I might not… I won’t know until it happens.  I’m sorry Miss, I’m not making any sense am I?”

Tru held her breath while Rosaline spoke.  There was an element of relief that she did want to submit but she wasn’t ready for everything and while it was understandable the domme also found it a concern.  The idea that things would be different until they got back to where they were was difficult to anticipate because it was all about when Rosaline felt ready.  “It makes sense sweetheart but it is going to take some navigating,” she said honestly.  “I need you to take a few minutes and think about your current limits.  Anything that you know you will not be willing to do you need to say, make it a hard limit just now.  We will review your limits on a weekly basis right now.”  Tru stood up, “I’m going to clean up dinner, you are going to go into the living room and kneel.  Clear your mind and think.  When I come through you will tell me honestly what those limits are.”

Rosaline sighed with relief when her nonsensical ramble was given some form of validation, even she wasn’t sure it deserved it so it made her appreciate Tru’s tolerance of it even more.  She nodded in agreement with every sentence Tru said, all of it making perfect sense to her and when instructed she thanked the Domme for the meal and went to kneel in the living, holding her obedient pose perfectly as she waited.  It was while there, alone, listening to the sounds of Tru in another room that Rosaline realised her problem may not be submitting at all, but rather a deeper, more ingrained fear which had reared its ugly head due to what had happened.  The submissive remained as still as a statue in her perfect pose until Tru came through to join her instructed her to move.  When she was given permission to speak Rosaline tried her hardest to remain concise, knowing how important this was.  “All my old limits still stand Miss and my safeword is unchanged.  I… I’ve realised I’m struggling with… being alone, or more like left… abandoned.  It’s why I’ve been more clingy and wanting little gestures from you.  I need that little extra confirmation.”

She took a breath, ordered her thoughts and continued.  “So please, no solitary based punishments.  I know quiet time and wall time are good for me sometimes but if you could stay in the room just so I know you’re there I think that would be enough.  Also, senses.  For the same reason I think I would panic if all my senses were taken away and I couldn’t tell you were still there, so something like if I can’t see or hear I’ll need a touch, just something to reassure me, if I can still see or hear you I think I’ll be fine.  I’m sorry if I sound needy Miss, I hope those are ok?”

Tru’s heart broke a little more hearing the lingering anxiety she had caused.  It wasn’t at all what she had expected to hear Rosaline say but in many ways it was more of a wake up than and reminder of her responsibilities than many other things would have been.  “Of course it’s ok sweetheart.  Your limits are what you need to avoid to feel safe and secure….I’m…” She was going to say she was sorry she had left Rosaline feeling as if she would leave her again but she suspected that may cause the submissive to backtrack or try to change her limits again before she felt ready and she really didn’t want that.  So she rephrased her words, “I’m glad you are able to identify what you need.”  

They both needed a scene and a thorough one at that.  Something to get them back on a better footing again not to mention the fact she hadn’t seen Rosaline naked in far too long.  Standing up Tru gazed down, “You use your safe word if at any time you do not feel comfortable.  Even if it is something we have done a hundred times, if it doesn’t feel right this time then you safe word. Understood?”  Getting the confirmation she gave a nod, “Crawl to the playroom, go right into the middle and strip.  I want you standing with your hands behind your back and your feet apart.  I’ll be right behind you.”

Rosaline smiled when Tru validated what she had said and alleviated all the concerns that she was being overly needy or cautious.  Deep down she knew Tru wouldn’t leave her like she had before, it had been a one off mistake and she had paid the price and learned her lesson during the events that had followed.  But that knowledge was buried very deep down and needed coaxing back out, which they would do together.  That she was definitely sure of.  “Thank you Miss,” she replied, her smile growing a little.

With a coy little smirk the submissive lowered herself onto her hands and knees and began to crawl as instructed.  As she glanced behind her to see Tru following she teased by wiggling her ass a little.  The teasing felt good and knowing what was coming caused her heart to race with excitement - or was it nerves?  Rosaline assumed it was excitement and continued on, making quick work of stripping out of her dress and underwear, though as always, putting on a bit of a show for her Domme who she was grateful to see had stayed with her the entire time.  She stood exactly as instructed, feet apart and hands clasped behind her back.  Her coy smile returned as her head rose and she saw Tru looking hungrily at her but she also felt her entire body trembling, doubt started to creep into her mind.  Maybe it wasn’t excitement.  She wanted this, that was definitely true but suddenly she wasn’t sure if she could.

Tru’s eyes roamed the submissive’s body.  She desperately wanted to touch her, hear her moan and beg straight away but at the same time she was well aware that they both needed this to be slow and steady.  She walked around the beauty’s naked body, itching to touch but holding back for the moment.  “Legs wider,” she ordered, “Shoulders back a bit more.”  The sight as she came back round to the front was a stunning one and she took a good few moments to shamelessly look over Rosaline’s body.  “You look stunning Starling,” she purred, ignoring for the moment the bruises on her shins from rehearsals.

When she could resist no longer she stepped forward, one hand running down from her shoulder to her wrist before the hand came up to cup her breast as she leaned forward to kiss the pink lips which called to her.  Her hand settled under the perfect, full breast as her thumb lifted to rub over the raised nipple as she began to tease ever so gently.

Rosaline instantly complied with Tru’s orders, feeling herself falling into the headspace she knew and loved so much, the place which only Tru was able to take her to now.  “Thank you Miss,” she sighed happily when Tru complimented her.  With the way she was being looked at Rosaline knew Tru would see every missed piece of makeup and every bump she’d received from mis-steps during rehearsals.  Had it been a normal scene she would probably have made a cheeky joke about the stage bruising her more than Tru did but this was not a normal scene.

The submissive felt herself melting into the gliding touch down her arm, a low shuddering breath escaping from her.  Oh how she had missed this.  A soft, whimper like moan left the submissive’s lips as Tru’s hand cupped her sensitive breast and she was completely consumed by the kiss, losing all sense of what else was going on as she returned the kiss feverishly.  But then the kiss was broken and the doubt returned, as did the trembling.  The caress across her nipple should have felt amazing, it did feel amazing but something wasn’t right.  Rosaline’s violently shaking hand rose and curled weakly around Tru’s wrist to guide her hand away.  Tru’s beautiful blue eyes met her own which she knew were full of confusion and also welling with tears.

“Pinecone,” she whispered, employing her safeword for the first time ever with Tru and she felt her stomach lurch at having to do so, she had never had to before, why was now any different.  What was wrong with her?  “I’m sorry Miss,” she croaked, tears falling down her cheeks, “it doesn’t feel right… I don’t know why…” She was frozen for a moment, gripping Tru’s wrist like her life depended on it.  Would she leave her after this?  Consumed with fear she dived forwards, wrapping her arms around her Domme with a vice like grip.  “I’m sorry Miss, I’m sorry,” she sobbed into Tru’s shoulder.  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me… am I broken?  Please don’t be mad, I’m so sorry.”

Tru’s heart sank as she heard the safe word but what worried her more was Rosaline’s reaction to using it.  Her arms tightened around the younger woman and she softly hushed her.  “I’m not mad sweetheart.  Don’t ever think that.”  Kissing the top of the brunette’s head Tru closed her eyes, knowing the submissive couldn’t see her reaction.  “Let’s get you dressed Starling and then we are going to talk.”  Her deliberate use of Rosaline’s nickname was designed to reassure her further that the domme was not upset though she couldn’t deny she was disappointed.  It was understandable but they both needed to recover in their own way and own pace.

She kept an arm around Rosaline’s shoulders as she steered her through to the bedroom.  “Pyjamas on,” she ordered firmly as she sat down on the bed and showing the brunette that she wouldn’t leave her alone.  Once Rosaline was dressed Tru slid back up the bed so her back was against the headboard and patted the pillow next to her, “Come and sit next to me sweetheart.”  Once the submissive was settled she took a breath, “Thank you for using your safeword.  That is what I need to be sure you will do.  It doesn’t mean you are broken darling and I will never be mad at you for it.  Your safeword is just that, it stops everything.”  Pausing for a moment she turned her head so she was looking clearly at Rosaline, “When you are ready I would like you to tell me what made you safeword.”

Rosaline let Tru’s words wash over her and soothe her reeling mind, her panic starting to subside instantly and she suddenly felt stupid for thinking Tru would abandon her.  The nickname also worked wonders and unable to speak Rosaline nodded obediently and let herself be guided by Tru’s arm around her shoulder.  As the submissive pulled on her pajamas she kept glancing at the Domme on the bed, her vulnerable state needing that extra confirmation that she was still there.  She settled on the pillow and after just a moment she shuffled closer, wanting to press herself up against Tru as much as possible.

“I felt… strange,” she started, believing it to sound feeble but also the best description she had.  “I don’t know why I thought you would be mad… I know you won’t ever be because of me using my safeword.  I panicked.  I’m sorry.”  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, holding it for several seconds and she let her mind drift back to the exact moment her feelings had begun to change.  “I wanted to do it Miss, I really wanted it.  I still do.  The thought of it is exciting… it’s just the doing.  I didn’t feel unsafe, I didn’t feel scared.  I was… anxious?  It just didn’t feel right... I’m sorry, I don’t know why.  I really wish I knew.  I’m so sorry.”

Tru listened carefully.  Part of her wanted to reach out and wrap her arm around her beauty and pull her close but until she knew what the issue had been she wouldn’t actually touch her.  Rosaline’s explanation didn’t really help.  There was nothing obvious stopping the scene so Tru just had to assume that they were still not back to where they had been.  She couldn’t blame Rosaline for it in any way of course, her anxieties were Tru’s making and not the submissives but there was no way of changing what had happened.

“It’s alright my darling.  We will wait until you are ready for that kind of contact again,” if ever ran through her mind.  “For now it’s been a long day and we would both benefit from an early night.”  The kneeling and domestic orders would have to be enough for them both now and she tucked away the hope that perhaps Rosaline would feel ready for a spanking soon, they both needed more but every little would help until that time.

Rosaline knew her explanation probably didn’t help but there were no words to describe how she had felt and what had caused her to safeword.  She assumed it was just a product of their new circumstances but having never been in this position before she didn’t know that for sure.  “Thank you Miss, I know we’ll work it out… together,” she murmured and lifted Tru’s arm, draping it over her shoulders.  Not just wanting but needing that contact from her Domme.  She needed to make sure Tru knew she could touch her, it was just sexual activities which she seemed to be struggling with.

The submissive didn’t even try to stifle the big yawn which came to her, the long day and rollercoaster of emotions catching up to her and making her feel completely exhausted.  “Please hold me til I fall asleep?”  She mumbled though her eyes were already drooping even as she spoke.  She felt Tru shift her position, moving them both so they were laying down and with the protective embrace of Tru’s arms around her it wasn’t long before Rosaline drifted off to sleep.

[academicsapphic]

University classes are a monster you can’t prepare for until you’re in them. I have been through every up and down with schoolwork possible in the past year, so here are some tips that can hopefully help you avoid those downs:

Choosing and Registering for Your Classes

Make sure to thoroughly check both your major requirements and your gen ed requirements. Normally, you’ll have an advisor to help you make sure you’re on track, but Vandy doesn’t assign first-year engineering students one until after registration when school starts, and I didn’t have an advisor for this year’s registration either due to my major change, so I’ve spent hours and hours doing this on my own. There’s often recommended courses and example schedules in the course catalog that tell you what classes you should be taking at this point in time. Pay attention to that and you should be fine. For example, you have to have taken a first-level writing class to qualify for junior standing here. Those are the little things you have to look out for. To keep track of it all, I have a spreadsheet I use for planning my sophomore - senior years that lists all the requirements I need to meet in terms of hours and courses in order to graduate on time. I plug in possible courses and see which requirement they would fulfill and when. You can check it out here to see what I mean, it’s very helpful.

Find at least one fun elective to take if at all possible. It gets very tiring when all you have on your schedule are really difficult classes that you don’t enjoy. Try to find at least one class that you’re genuinely interested in to help get you excited for the day. Each of my last semesters, my schedule consisted of a calculus class, a lab science, a comp sci class, and Italian. Italian was the only fun one that I enjoyed going to. It really helps you out. You’re not just in college to get your degree, you’re there to discover what you really want to do, so feel free to explore your catalog and take something completely out of character just because you want to. Bonus if it fills some kind of requirement (Italian filled my Foreign Language Proficiency and one of my International Cultures reqs.).

Have multiple versions of your schedule based on which classes you may or may not get into. I don’t know about your school, but at Vanderbilt, class registration is literally like the Hunger Games. You’re assigned an enrollment date based on your year (seniors get to go first, then juniors, etc.) and at 8 am on that day, you refresh the website and either enroll in your classes or get placed on the wait list for it. If you’re a freshman, you’re basically screwed because you go last, and so you could have planned out your perfect schedule only to find they’ve all filled up the day before your enrollment period starts. To avoid having to scramble, have multiple versions of your schedule, with back ups and substitutions for every class. This way, you won’t be surprised when you go to enroll and all but one of your classes are filled, then you have to search for other classes, but at that point, all that’s left are scraps that don’t fit your requirements. Plan plan plan and practice clicking the enroll button on all your classes as fast as you can for when the clock strikes 8.

You have freedom over your schedule now; take advantage of that! No more 8-3 Monday through Friday; you can take classes whenever you want. I prefer to have all my classes on MWF in a block of a few hours and only one or no class on TR. Of course, sometimes you’re going to have to take classes at less optimal times, but do try to accommodate yourself and take classes at times you know will be good for you. Lots of people prefer to start early and finish early, while I like to start no earlier than 11, even if I don’t finish until 5. The best part of college is you can do what you want.

Don’t take 8 ams. I’m repeating this cause it’s important. I swear, you’ll regret it. In high school, I woke up every morning early as hell to catch my bus at 6:30, but in college, it was nearly impossible for me to get up for my 11 am only three times a week. Don’t ever take an 8 am by choice. And if you have no choice, good luck lol.

Don’t be afraid to drop a class. If you’re doing terribly in a class or you absolutely can’t stand it, drop the class. There’s a very little chance that if you’re failing during the first half of the semester, you’ll be able to change your grade dramatically in the second half. Maybe you decided to be an overzealous freshman and signed up for the maximum number of hours possible and now you’re drowning. Drop a class! Sometimes, a course is going to do more harm to you than good, so it’s best to get rid of it than have an F or a W on your transcript.

Use RateMyProfessor! I totally forgot about this when I originally posted this and it’s already got almost 1,000 notes but hopefully people see this. RateMyProfessor is so fucking useful. It’s IMPERATIVE that you check this website before you enroll in classes. Someone at Vandy actually made a Chrome extension for our enrollment website that automatically shows a professor’s ranking while you’re looking for classes. Obviously, take it with a grain of salt, and make sure the reviews actually make valid points about the workload and class and isn’t just someone bitter about failing. I took calc with a professor who taught at my high school just cause she taught at my high school even though her reviews said she was insanely difficult and the class was near impossible to pass. Guess what? They were right and I failed as did a big chunk of everyone else in her class. You don’t have to let RMP dictate your schedule, but definitely check it out, and if everyone says the professor is awful, don’t fucking take them. 

Attending Your Classes

Establish a connection with your professor early. I recommended introducing yourself on the first day of class just so they know your name and face in another post. It’d be even better to attend an office hour or review session or something. Just make sure they know you. It’ll be easier to communicate when you need something later in the semester if it isn’t their first time seeing you.

Actually use this connection with your professors. In my experience, they can be pretty understanding and when you’re in a bad place, they’ll likely help you out. If something is preventing you from doing your best in class, go to them for help (I didn’t go to many office hours but I wish I did! Who better to explain to you something you don’t understand than the person who grades you on it?) or explain to them your situation. I had professors let me take tests late and redo assignments due to my mental health after I explained to them I wasn’t just a terrible student; if it wasn’t for this, I would’ve failed all of their classes. Maybe at the end of the semester they’ll drop one of your wonky grades or bump you up that extra half point you need. Your professors are a resource, and it’s up to you to use it.

Take notes however you want. I used my laptop in some, paper in others, and even my iPad and a stylus for calculus. In all of your classes will be a mixture of different techniques and no one cares what you do. Whatever works best for you and helps you get down the most information is what you should do. Also, you don’t have to write down everything. If your professor uses slides and posts them for you to download, you don’t really have to write down anything at all unless they add extra points, so that’s really convenient. 

You don’t have to sit in the front. As long as you can see and hear, which you’ll likely be able to due to large projection screens and microphones, it literally doesn’t matter where you sit. In my experience, the professors call on people from every part of the lecture hall, so everyone gets an equal chance at participation. It’s up to yourself to make sure you can pay attention, not your seat.

Do your best to attend every single class meeting. It’s inevitable that you’re going to miss class at some point; you will get sick, you won’t have finished an assignment, you’ll need a mental health day, something will happen. Missing class can too easily become a habit if you do it often, so try to never do it. Don’t force yourself to go if you can’t handle it, obviously your health always comes first, but I mean don’t skip cause you want to sleep in or cause you just don’t feel like going. If you do have to miss class and 1) you have a good reason for it (i.e. sickness) and 2) it’s a class small enough that your professor will notice you’re not there, email them and let them know why, just so they’re aware you’re not just skipping to skip.  

Try to make friends in your classes. A little study group would be even better. It’ll be really useful to have someone who can help you with a homework question you don’t understand or send you their notes when you miss a class. It can also be great to study with other people, depending on how you study best. I’ve had friends in all my classes so far and it’s been a great help, even if we just complained about the test we just failed then went to get pizza.

Tackling the Coursework

Make a REALISTIC study schedule. The key word here is realistic. During winter break I made a study schedule that started with me waking up at 8 am every morning to go work out and ended with me going to sleep promptly at 11 or midnight after spending literally the entire day studying with breaks only for meals. No breaks on weekends, no room to socialize, and I thought this would be perfectly fine for me to follow. Of course, I didn’t last a week because that was fucking ridiculous. You don’t need to schedule every hour of your day; college doesn’t work like that. Just do something simple, an hour for a class or maybe less depending on how hard it is and if you have a test coming up. Trust your instincts. There’s no need to go overboard, and you don’t need to spend six hours a day working, just dedicate a time to studying and stick with that.

Explore study techniques until you find one that works for you. Everyone doesn’t study the same, so if you do what everyone else is doing you might not get the results you want. Even if you had a great system in high school, it might not be fitting for college, so check out a bunch of different methods and see how you do with them. Once you find the best way you study, you’ll be unstoppable when exam time comes.

Start your assignments early, as soon as you can after they’re assigned. There’s nothing worse than having a bunch of assignments/tests/papers due on the same day and you haven’t finished any of them. Trust me, it is so much less stressful to complete an assignment as soon as you can after it’s been assigned so you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Putting things off has much more severe consequences than it did in high school and you will regret procrastinating. If you have a weekly assignment due every Friday, try to complete them by Wednesday every week. At the very least, start an assignment the day you get it even if you can’t finish it that day. It’s a lot easier to do something after you’ve already begun working on it, and that one thing you do is progress.

The name of the college game is prioritization. If college teaches you anything, it’s how to prioritize your duties. You need to create a hierarchy of importance for your classes and types of assignments. For me, calculus assignments were always done first because that was the most difficult class and the one I absolutely needed to pass, and Italian was always done last cause it was my easiest class and I could complete even our biggest assignments in one day. You’re going to have a very large amount of work and sometimes you have to sacrifice finishing a small homework assignment to finish a huge paper or study for an exam. I liked to complete my hardest/longest assignments right when I got back from class to get them over with and leave my easier ones for later. Prioritizing is essential if you want to succeed in university, so learn how to do it immediately! 

Remember that uni is really difficult and your grades don’t define you. Something I learned the hard way is that sometimes you can try really really hard, do the best you can, and still fail. That’s just life. Sometimes you have to do something a million times before you get it right, or before you discover that it just isn’t right for you at all. I worked harder than I ever had this past year, and what I got in return was two failed classes, two D’s, academic probation, and a 2.3 GPA. Actually, my current GPA isn’t even a 2.3, it’s a 2.295, which is probably blasphemy to the studyblr community, but this shit happens. It happens to all of us and it sucks. It can be really shitty to feel like your effort wasn’t reflected in your result. What you need to do is adjust your expectations and keep working hard. After you hit your stride, your grades could be great in no time. Or you could discover that math or science or english just isn’t for you. Maybe you’ll discover university as a whole isn’t right for you, and that’s okay! Bad grades, whether you define that as a B or an F, don’t mean you’re a bad student or a bad person. You do what you can, and then let go of what you can’t control. The sooner you grasp this idea, and the sooner you learn to be gentle with yourself, the easier a time you’ll have.

So I feel like I forgot a lot of things but also this is pretty long so I’m going to end the post here. If you have any further questions or topics for a post you’d like to see, my inbox is always open. I don’t know which post is coming next, but I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for reading and I hope this helped you out!

Previous Posts:

Application Process

Choosing/Changing Majors

Orientation/Move-In/First Day of Classes

Roommates

[arplis]

Arplis - News: “Everybody knows that pestilences have a way of recurring in the world, yet somehow we find it hard to believe in ones that crash down on our heads from a blue sky

There have been as many plagues as wars in history, yet always plagues and wars take people equally by surprise.” — Albert Camus, The Plague Time is cruelly elastic. When March began, Joe Biden was celebrating the resurgence of his presidential campaign after a win in the South Carolina primary. When March began, downtown Atlanta was packed with marathon runners, while the Hawks were, reliably, scraping the bottom of the Eastern conference. When March began, we were going to restaurants, and to school, and to soccer games and concerts and plays and funerals and weddings. When March began, we were going to work. When March began, dozens of Georgians were walking around with absolutely no idea that within a matter of days they would be dead from a virus that had traveled across the world only to alight on them. How many more of us will step into its crosshairs? Each day feels like a month. So much news is compressed into 24 hours—thousands more infected, ICUs at capacity, unemployment rates reaching heights not seen since the Great Depression, our 401ks decimated—that our brains seize up. Grocery store visits are planned with the precision of a wartime raid. Kids’ days are ostensibly scheduled—Reading! Enrichment! FaceTime with the teacher!—but how do you homeschool and telework at the same time? You don’t. The screens you once cursed are now free childcare. That’s, of course, if we even can work from home. Some of us can’t. Many of us have been laid off or furloughed as restaurants close their doors, as nonprofits’ funding dries up, as fitness studios go dark. Others of us who have been deemed “essential”—nurses, doctors, first responders, grocery-store workers, mail carriers, truck drivers, delivery people—come home late at night and shed our clothes outside so as not to bring the virus near our loved ones. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was guaranteed to happen. But to us? Now? We spoke with our neighbors about the world we’ve left behind, and the one that awaits. Interviews edited for length and clarity. Tap on each person’s name to read their full interview. • • • Dr. Michelle Au | anesthesiologist at Emory Saint Joseph’s Hospital I first started hearing about the virus after Christmas. But the news still felt like something distant. It was in China, so you’re watching with this detached interest. I am in the unusual position of being a Chinese American physician with a public-health degree who also happens to be running for office [Au is a Democratic candidate for the 48th state Senate district, which incorporates parts of Fulton and Gwinnett counties]. I was talking with voters in the Chinese community who said that I should be speaking out on the issue more. I probably should have paid more attention. I should have taken it more seriously. Dr. Meria Carstarphen | superintendent of Atlanta Public Schools Right after Valentine’s Day, one of my friends was going to Venice, Italy. While my friend was there, they shut down Carnival [due to coronavirus]. That was my reality check. I said to our team, “We need to prepare for the day when we have to shut down the district.” There were moments where I felt I was pushing a wet noodle up a mountain. As things started escalating, we had to make decisions. I said, “We have to prepare a contingency plan that starts with the worst-case scenario.” Devon Clinkscales | senior at Booker T. Washington High School This year was my senior season of high school baseball, my last year. I was really excited about going out strong and getting ready for travel ball. It was my best opportunity to get some scouting. Hugh Acheson | owner of Empire State South in Midtown and 5 & 10 in Athens and operator of By George in the Candler Hotel The real canary in the coal mine was [in early March], reading about restaurants in Shanghai. Shanghai to Wuhan [where the virus is said to have originated] is an immense amount of distance. [Restaurants in Shanghai] were saying that they didn’t know how long they could stay open. Their sales were down 80 to 90 percent, and it was just a ghost town. We’re not an industry with deep pockets. Everybody’s like, “Oh, Hugh, you’ve been on TV. You must be rich.” I’m like, “You have no idea how this works, do you?” Kathy Weeks Lowery | self-employed travel agent in Marietta [A client] was supposed to leave on March 28 out of Tokyo for a 12-day cruise. That was her son’s college graduation gift. Holland America held tight. They said if she cancels now, she’s losing 50 percent of her money. That was January 24. Travel insurance doesn’t cover a pandemic. Since then, they canceled the cruise and gave her the rest of the money. Cruise lines are offering as much as 225 percent of your refund toward a future booking. For me, it’s been everything. I had 117 kids going to D.C. for a field trip, 10 people going to the Grove Park Inn, a busload going to Mary Mac’s and Hamilton. All canceled. I only get paid after clients travel. I figure this year’s income will be 20 percent of last year’s. Amy Phuong | vice president of government relations for the Atlanta Hawks My wedding was set for March 28. We had everything planned. I even had a final walkthrough at the venue on March 4. We’d invited 200 people. Mike Gallagher | co-owner of Brick Store Pub and Leon’s Full Service in Decatur, Good Word Brewing in Duluth, and partial owner of Kimball House. Together, the four restaurants employ approximately 200 people. 2019 was a tough year. We had opened [Good Word Brewing]. The contractor had gone belly up when we opened. We lost our chef and sous-chef. We had a lot of money invested in Duluth. But 2020 was starting great. We’d put down a sizeable amount of money on a redo of Brick Store. On February 26, after seven years running the pop-up restaurant Eat Me Speak Me, Jarrett Stieber opened his first permanent restaurant. The build-out took months. Jarrett Stieber | chef-owner of Little Bear in Summerhill We had inspectors tell us we had to change things, and we covered the cost. So, like every restaurant, we ran way over budget. We opened with $285 in our checking account after buying products for the first week and just prayed that we were busy. We, thankfully, were. On March 2, five days after Little Bear opened, Governor Brian Kemp announced the first two confirmed cases of coronavirus in Georgia—two members of the same household in Fulton County. Nationwide, only 90 cases had been confirmed, six of whom were fatalities. “Georgians should remain calm,” Kemp said. Stieber We had one customer who said that she couldn’t believe that a place like Little Bear was here, that it reminded her of restaurants in San Francisco. That’s exactly what I had in my head when I planned this restaurant, that small-capacity hole-in-the-wall that basically is a neighborhood restaurant in terms of how it feels but has food as good as any high-end restaurant. We were hitting our stride. Jarrett Stieber: “My focus is keeping the business open any way I can.” Photograph by Audra Melton Clinkscales On March 2, we were evicted from our apartment, but they didn’t change the locks. If they’d changed the locks, we’d have nowhere to go. Our stuff would be out on the street. My dad and my mother had a couple of disagreements on how to maintain. I have an older sister who has an apartment in a project, so my mother, my other sister, and my niece all moved in with her. But I stayed with my dad. He didn’t finish high school. He needs someone. He doesn’t understand how things work. I love my dad, and I have to be with him. Belisa Urbina | founder/executive director of Ser Familia, a nonprofit that provides services to Latino families My husband’s family is from Spain, so we knew what was going on there. We knew what was going on in other places. I knew that if this was happening in all these other countries, it was going to happen to us because we are connected. Flights are coming in and out. People are moving around. Shawn Ware | owner of Vibe Ride cycle studios When the news about the coronavirus first came out, I was taking a break at home, between working at the Westside studio in the morning and Grant Park in the afternoon. I thought, Okay, well, this is just a flu. I’ve always been a gym rat, and I’ve always joked that I’ve been a germophobe since I was in the womb. I’m always washing my hands, using hand sanitizer. I thought, So, now you all are jumping on board for what I’ve been doing my whole life? But then, as the hours and days went on, I realized this was serious. On Friday, March 6, President Trump, wearing khakis, a windbreaker, and a Keep America Great baseball cap, visited the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta for a photo op and press conference, where he referenced his “natural ability” at understanding the complexities of virology and addressed the sluggish pace of testing for the virus. What he said wasn’t even a complete sentence: “As of right now, and yesterday, anybody who needs a test—and that’s the important thing.” While other countries were ramping up their tests to include even those who were asymptomatic—results which indicate who is contagious and who is not—the United States was (and as of late March remained) unequipped to test any but those suffering the most extreme symptoms. By Monday, March 9, the number of Georgians who’d tested positive for the virus had climbed to six, with 11 more presumed positive. Kemp announced that space at Hard Labor Creek State Park in east Georgia would be outfitted to accept COVID-19 patients who needed to be isolated. Phuong Even that week [of March 9], I started out feeling like, Okay, our wedding is so soon there’s no way it’s going to be impacted. Even though Italy at that time had made a turn for the worse, [my fiance] Kerry’s family is from Spain, and we felt good because they weren’t impacted the way Italy was. Then, we got to Wednesday, and that’s when it dramatically switched. That’s when the Hawks had their final game. That was the same evening that Trump instituted the travel ban from Europe. Kerry’s family would not be able to make it. Carstarphen The day when I said to my fellow superintendents that I’m considering closing the district even though we don’t have any cases—that was a bit of a shock. Even to myself. I work with children. So, the idea that I would even put on the table this notion that they might not have a prom, they might not be able to play for the state championship, they might not be able to get closure after 12 years of public school, that their moment gets snatched away from them? It’s sobering how your decision can change the direction of people’s lives. Dock Hollingsworth | senior pastor at Second-Ponce de Leon Baptist Church Wednesday, March 11, was a turning point. We were here for the Wednesday night services. There was still a lot of levity. A 94-year-old man came up to me and said, “Boy, I was relieved that this is targeting people 60 to 80 since it’s been so long since I was 80.” By Thursday morning we were in a whole different mode. I was in a peer group with other Atlanta pastors. Everyone was asking, “What measures are you taking?” Keisha Lance Bottoms | mayor of Atlanta I went to Sam’s Club on Thursday. A woman asked me what I was doing there. “The same thing you’re doing.” I have four kids at home. My husband makes grocery runs on his way home from work. But I knew we needed to stock up with a family of six. I’m now cooking three meals a day. But my personal adjustment pales in comparison to what’s happening. People are dying. Urbina We provide services to about 4,500 people. The services that we provide are very difficult to find. To give you an idea, there are 700,000 Latinos in metro Atlanta but there are less than 70 counselors who are fully licensed that can speak Spanish. There are four psychologists in the state of Georgia who can speak Spanish, and there are five psychiatrists who can speak Spanish. Latino children have twice the chance of having anxiety and depression compared to other teens. Our Latina girls, almost 20 percent of them attempt suicide. Joey Camp | cook at Waffle House in Canton who also drives a party bus part-time I started getting pneumonia [in early March]. I felt like I was drowning. The chills had gotten so bad that I could not keep my teeth from chattering. If my teeth weren’t chattering, I was coughing. [On March 12,] I went to the emergency room. They did all these tests—a CT scan with contrast, x-rays, everything. They were like, You got really bad pneumonia. We’re going to put you in a room and monitor you for a few days. Well, I was in there for probably nine hours when they hung the isolation box on my door. Which is where they keep all these gloves, smocks, and masks that everybody has to put on before they’re allowed into the room. I got a little nervous.   Photograph by Audra Melton Phuong It hit me Friday night. We’d been planning so long, and now, our wedding is not going to happen. It was emotional. Dr. Laurence Busse | medical director, critical care, Emory Johns Creek Hospital On March 13, it was profound the amount of people coming into the ER. That was a scary day, and we all finished that day thinking, What are we in for? Dr. Jessica Nave | hospital medicine, Emory University Hospital I was hoping that, by early April, we’d peak. But now, my projection is we’ll peak at the end of April. And that’s still optimistic. It’s just the numbers. If you look at Seattle and New York, they’re still going. We didn’t start getting cases until the second week of March. We have to have a solid month of getting hit really hard before we peak. Marshall Rancifer | homeless advocate and relief worker There are 4,000 homeless people out there on the streets. Youth and adults. Homeless people share everything: food, clothes, hygiene products, blunts, crack pipes, needles sometimes. I brought a bunch of crack pipes to them so they wouldn’t share pipes. Some don’t know there is a virus outbreak in the city. They don’t have access to social media or the news. If you’re not in a shelter, you’re walking around in suspended animation all day. I saw people starting to light cigarettes and pass them around. I knocked the cigarettes out of their hands. I said, “You can’t share cigarettes, can’t share food, don’t touch nobody, don’t shake nobody’s hand. Don’t hug nobody.” Had to explain to the mothers in a park on Proctor Street what they can and can’t do. We’re not just educating the homeless; we are educating poor people and marginalized folks. They just don’t know. The weekend of March 14-15 was surreal. Social media and television were talking about nothing else, and school districts across the state, including Atlanta Public Schools, were announcing or had just begun indefinite closures. But for many Atlantans, life went on as normal. Bars were full. Restaurants were open. The BeltLine was packed. At Brick Store in Decatur, the owners decided to go ahead with a planned St. Patrick’s Day celebration, which included a short parade to the bar, scheduled for Saturday. Their decision, announced on the bar’s Facebook page the day before, brought out the knives. “You are encouraging people to make a very selfish decision,” wrote one of the more restrained commenters. “Public health providers are telling us to behave AS IF WE HAVE THE VIRUS, because many of us likely do.” Gallagher Calling it a “parade” is a stretch, because there were about 15 to 25 people. There were more people congregated in front of retail stores than there were in the parade. But we did it, and we had our event. We removed some tables. We put some tables spread out outside. We removed some barstools. I think people were clustering with whom they felt safe, their own household member or a family member, and then they spread out otherwise. It wasn’t six feet apart in the whole place, for sure. But our staff was militant about sanitizing bartops, tabletops, stools, chairs, menus in between their reuse, faucets. I got a lot of feedback from staff and guests about how meaningful it was to them and how they viewed it as a beacon of hope in an otherwise bleak moment in time. So we certainly got a lot of great feedback. But the bashing on social media was unfortunate and unnecessary, quite frankly. Carstarphen I always believed we would be here at mitigation—not prevention, not containment. Mitigation was probably the only way we’d go given the spirit of our country, given we’re a democracy, given that people love their personal freedoms and their individual decision-making. Stieber This is the first time that social media and the general public have been able to kind of force people’s hands in a business sense, beyond just what is recommended from a health standpoint. We live in an era where people are so polarized and proselytizing of everything from behind their screens that whether you want to stay open right now, to fight for your business, you don’t really have much of a choice because of the stigma associated with doing so. As new restrictions kept restaurants from opening to guests, they pivoted to takeout operations. They started GoFundMe accounts for furloughed staff. At Brick Store, owners reduced their menu to soups and sandwiches. Donations to the “soup kitchen”—meant to compensate workers—were encouraged, but if you couldn’t pay, you could still grab a bag. Acheson My real worry is for all the people that I promised to provide for and can’t. That’s very hard, because I want on my tombstone to be remembered as a good employer, and a good human, and a good dad. The people who are going to get hit worst by this are undocumented. It’s not like we have a huge number of them on the payroll, but across the country, there are. They can’t get unemployment. They pay taxes through payrolls, but they don’t get taxes back. They are screwed. But we’re all screwed. Everybody’s like, Well, we’ll recover. No. Fifty percent of the restaurants that just shut down across this country will never reopen. Gallagher Most restaurants are lucky to have two full weeks’ worth of financial runway, and employees, probably even less. A lot of these guys are paycheck-to-paycheck. We are taking the money from the GoFundMe, the money from the gift cards, and any additional monies that have been given, and we’re divvying them up among staff on this upcoming payroll. We’re going to try to find an hourly threshold. For instance, if you worked 24 hours or less, you’ll get this pay rate. If you’re 25 or more, you’ll get that pay rate. We felt that was the most equitable, least cumbersome way to do it. I’ll be honest, it was tough. Do you pay more because they make more? Do you pay more because they need more? Do you pay more because they worked with you longer? Acheson I’m really happy that people are buying gift certificates. If we sell $2,000 of to-go food today, I’ll be impressed. That does not equate to being able to pay $16,000 in rent next month that Empire State owes and payroll costs of $44,000 every two weeks. Urbina Our community works in hospitality, restaurants, construction. Those are the first industries that are affected. We have already had clients who have lost their jobs. They know that they’re probably not going to be able to pay rent at the beginning of April. While most coronavirus infections don’t require hospitalization, roughly 15 percent do. Usually, though not always, the person needing hospitalization is elderly or immunocompromised. The infection ravages the lungs, leading often to pneumonia. Patients can’t get enough oxygen on their own. Some require a ventilator, a machine that augments the patient’s respiration through forced exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Busse I’m critical care. So, when patients get to me, they’re in dire straits. The typical thing that’s seen down in the emergency room is fever, some increased work of breathing, some hypoxia [low levels of oxygen in tissue], and some malaise or body aches. Those folks who have, let’s say, a little bit of increased work of breathing or need some oxygen would be admitted to have supportive care while they get through their illness. But if they have a higher degree of oxygen needs or they’re in septic shock or they’re in kidney failure, then they come to me. And those folks can be exquisitely ill, anywhere from just needing a few extra liters of oxygen to having multiorgan failure and needing a full bevy of life support. Dr. Laurence Busse: “When patients get to me, they’re in dire straits.” Photograph by Audra Melton Nave Sometimes illness is difficult to define by objective measures. We’ll get a call from the ER physician saying, “I think this patient needs to get admitted.” I’m looking at their chart and saying, “Well, they’re not hypoxic, they’re fine.” They’ll say, “Just come and lay your eyes on them.” So, I do, and it’s, “Oh yeah, this person is not going to do well.” They have a look about them. Their breathing pattern is abnormal. They’re using more accessory muscles. Au The act of intubating a COVID-19 patient is essentially the highest-risk procedure you can do. As you’re putting in that tube and they’re breathing out through this channel you’re putting in, it gives an opportunity for the virus to be in the air. Usually, it’s in droplets. Aerosolized virus can float around. It’s one of the most infectious potential procedures you can do on a COVID patient. The person who is best and most senior and experienced at doing intubations should do it. They take the least amount of time possible. Put in the tube, quick, hook up the ventilator, and minimize exposure to everyone. Nave Some of our sickest patients have been in their late 20s to late 30s and otherwise healthy. We don’t know why. Camp On Saturday [March 13], they tested me for COVID-19, and I got positive affirmation on Monday. How in the world did I get this? I have not been to Italy, I haven’t been to China, I haven’t been around people, to my knowledge, that have been to those places. I live a very boring life. When they finally told me on Monday, they also released me from the hospital to self-quarantine. The house I was living in had an infant in it. I didn’t want to take the chance of getting that infant sick. So, I was like, “I need options.” Camp was brought to Hard Labor Creek State Park and put in a camper to recuperate until he was no longer contagious. He was there for six days. Camp It had a nice bed in it. There were cookies. The state health officials were super helpful. I asked them to go on a grocery run because a diabetic cannot live on chips and cookies. And they went and got me some bananas, some apples, some cucumbers—all this stuff for me to snack on. I offered to pay for some of the stuff, and they wouldn’t have it. They paid for my medicine. They got me a new blood-sugar meter. The first few days were rough. The coughing was the worst part at that point. I had stopped having chills, I had stopped having a fever, but I was still coughing my brains out. It was like starting a car. Just whoop, whoop, whoop, just constant. And it just slowly went away. One day, I was coughing every three or four minutes; the next day, it was every half hour; the next day, it was every hour. And by the time I was done, I was only coughing very, very rarely, when I got a tickle in the back of my throat. It wasn’t even in my lungs anymore. Au We know that some of the sick are going to be our colleagues. We know that the more we are going to engage, the more people are going to be sick. Over the weekend, I started sleeping in the guest room in the basement because it’s separate from the rest of the house. I have my own bathroom because I don’t want to share a bathroom with anyone. I’m very meticulous about hygiene now—I mean, I always was because I work in the hospital—but now it’s like, shower and change into clean clothes before I leave the hospital. And then, I shower and change clothes again [once I’m home]. Rancifer I wasn’t scared before, but I’m scared now. My father and mother always taught me not to run away from trouble—run toward it, because you can be the person who can change something or save someone’s life. But once this gets out of hand, I’m not going to run toward someone that can kill me. I’m 63. I fall under the category of major at-risk. After I meet with big groups of folks, I skim down to my skivvies. I wear two pairs of gloves. When I get in the car I take my clothes off and throw them on the ground. I take the top pair of gloves off and put them in a disposable Ziploc bag. Then, I take the sanitized clothes out, get dressed, and then move on back home. Au Yesterday I cried talking to a high-school friend. When you’re at home, because the kids are there, you want to be like, Everything’s cool. It is so disruptive for them, so you put on the cheerful face. And at work, since I’m an attending physician, you want to put forth that “everything’s under control.” You get accustomed to trying to keep other people calm. But talking to someone that I’ve known before this, it was just an unguarded moment. What if I get sick? [My husband and I are] rewriting our wills right now. He’s a doctor, too. One of us has to stay well. Clinkscales My mom is worrying about what we’re going to do. She is part of a housecleaning business, but people haven’t been allowing them into their homes because of precautions. My dad works in building services for a hotel, and his income has been dropping. Because of the pandemic, baseball has been canceled, five games in. Colleges aren’t recruiting. Some schools aren’t even accepting students. Ware I spent most of the day today on the phone with our creditors and sending emails to landlords and to the people we lease bikes from, and they’re like, We get it. They’ve been extremely understanding, but it is a very, very scary time. One of our creditors said, We can defer for three months but we’ll still collect interest. Our largest creditor, Wells Fargo, is deferring payments with no late fees and no interest and no reporting to our credit bureau. But a community bank is going to charge us interest. They said, That’s just what we have to do. When we sent the email that we were going to suspend everyone’s membership, we had 35 to 40 people call and say, Don’t cancel. Don’t suspend our accounts. We want to continue to pay because we know you are hit hard, and this is our gym. We want to help and support you as much as we can. Some of these people have been members since the beginning. They’re not clients or strangers; they opened the doors with us. That has been so amazing. Shawn Ware: “I spent most of the day today on the phone with our creditors.” Photograph by Audra Melton Acheson I had $26 in my checking account last week, last week, before this all happened. I’m borrowing personal funds from people I know to pay payroll. Small business is being abandoned. It’s been abandoned for a long time in this country. Nobody has any inkling about how much hurt this is going to do. Lobbyists are on the Hill right now getting every meeting that they want to bail out Delta Air Lines yet again, and the auto industry is going to get bailed out. One in 10 people in the States work for the hospitality industry. Nobody’s bailing us out. We bail out all the wrong people in this country, consistently, over and over again. These are the same people who don’t want Medicare for All, yet they want a socialist handout when they make bad decisions in business, and they go broke. When the coronavirus closed Atlanta Public Schools, the district implemented a massive effort to continue offering free meals to its 52,416 students. Working with the Atlanta Community Food Bank, APS offers a bag of free groceries every Monday at four locations around town. The district hosts an additional giveaway on Tuesdays and is offering meal service at 10 sites around town, including delivery of meals via the school bus system. Carstarphen Our goal as of yesterday was to be at 40,000 meals on any given day in a school district. We let everyone eat. As food supplies diminish or are late, and as staff continue to self-quarantine and find other challenges trying to come to work every day, we’ll have staffing shortages. Bottoms I drove to my mother’s house, and she stood outside my car. I hadn’t seen my mother in a few weeks. Which isn’t normal. My grandmother would quote the Bible: “Be anxious for nothing.” You hear from people all the time, “This, too, shall pass.” I had to write that on the wall in the mayor’s office to remind myself. We’re going to be alright. When I need to take a breath and clear my mind, I’ll go and sort some shoes. This too shall pass. Camp I work in the service industry. Half of my income has been wiped out by this. The party bus industry is on hiatus because all the bars are shut down, proms were shut down, all of that. That’s killing my income. I still have bills. Part of me feels like the government shouldn’t be telling businesses to close their doors. I feel like that should be a case-by-case basis. Busse The preparation [by the federal government] has been poor, but I didn’t really expect it not to be. Do you plan for the worst-case scenario? Or do you put resources elsewhere? So, the response in general has not been great. And I think that’s sort of what I expected. And frankly, if I was in that position, I’m not sure I would’ve done it differently. I mean, it’s really hard to plan for something like this. I’ve never had this in my lifetime. And I’ve been here for Ebola, for H1N1 influenza, and I was here for the first SARS illness back in 2003. We’ve seen these things erupt on a regional level but never really become a global pandemic. This is new in our generation. Urbina My nightmare is that one of my employees gets sick, and I have to close my office, and our families have nowhere to go. At the moment, what we need most are donations or gift cards. One donor asked if she could bring baby formula, and I said yes, that would be fantastic. We have another person who asked if they could bring baskets of food. Yes, whatever you think you can do. We are very grateful. Busse When we run out of ventilators, that’s not something that we can just pull out of the closet. So, we’re relying on and hoping for support from the government to get more ventilators. We’re relying on and hoping for support from industry to get us more resources. We’re using what we have now, and once that’s it, once we’re out, we’re going to have to get creative. We don’t have enough N95 masks. We don’t have enough personal protective equipment. We’re using what we have, and we are hoping that we don’t get the virus. Nave We’ve started rationing our personal protective equipment. We’re trying to be very, very smart about when to use it and on which patients. It’s kept under lock and key because there’s panic even in the healthcare system when something like this hits. People start hoarding. Ware My husband is 60 and has heart disease, so we want to make sure he is extra-protected. I’m a breast-cancer survivor. We live in a condo downtown. We are in and out of the parking garage, touching that door all the time. Those are the things we have to be conscious about. We’re here, and we’re in the house more now, obviously. But it’s fine, it’s family time. We’ve got a puzzle. I got me some wine. Brad Levenberg | rabbi at Temple Sinai So many of us have relied on physical gatherings to provide comfort when we’re going through difficult times. When it’s joyous, we gather to celebrate. In the days after 9/11, we gathered in homes and apartments to watch the news. Now, this kind of support is all being challenged. We need to find other ways. Busse Right now we’re not seeing the normal volume of patients that show up needing care at the hospital. And is that because patients are being more careful and taking their medicine and having telehealth visits with their primary-care doctors? Are they no longer using the emergency room as a sort of a primary-care outlet? And it makes me think: Is this what healthcare could be if we were sort of using the system appropriately? Now, of course, the pessimist in me worries that when this is all said and done, we’re going to look at mortality and morbidity of people that were not infected with COVID-19 and we’re going to see that go up. Nave Italy had so many cases that all presented at once that it overwhelmed their entire system, and they’re having to choose who’s going to live and who’s going to die. They’re looking at two patients who are actively dying and there’s one ventilator, and they’re saying “You get it.” That’s probably the most horrific experience for a physician. I can’t even imagine. That’s what we don’t want. Hollingsworth We are in the holy season of Lent right now. It’s already designed to be a season of introspection and asking the big questions. So, in many ways, this makes the Lenten questions more real and more pressing because the ground is shaky under people. But personally the ground doesn’t feel that shaky to me. Because I have a different kind of existential hope. We may see people turning to the church to ask, Are there answers there that perhaps I’ve been making fun of for a long time? This is an opportunity to live inside a hope that is not built on markets or how many widgets you can sell. Carstarphen This is going to have a huge and disproportionate impact on black and brown and poor children. When you’re in a city that has the label of being the most unequal city in America when it comes to income disparity, and you’re working with people who are already fragile and incredibly strained in the healthiest of economies, this is crushing. If you’re wealthy, you can still get the access to the things you need for your family. Our kids weren’t getting that at the outset. It took a pandemic to wake up some people to know that we have to support our marginalized brothers and sisters. Clinkscales I don’t have money to pay for college on my own. Scholarships have been taken away. I’ve been thinking about starting a business. I have always wanted to own a sports bar. Now, I’m scared about what I’m going to do after I graduate. I was working hard, doing extracurricular activities, filling out scholarship applications, playing sports, trying to do something better for my family. And it all got taken away because of the virus. Devon Clinkscales: “I’m scared about what I’m going to do after I graduate.” Photograph by Audra Melton Urbina This pandemic has proved how connected we are. Nobody can say that they have not been touched by this. I am Latina, but if something is happening to my friends in the black community, it’s my problem. I have to do something about it because they’re my people. With everything that’s happening to the Asian community, I feel so sad that people have made them feel they are to blame for the situation, which, they’re not. We need everybody’s help so we can survive. There will be repercussions from this that we can’t even imagine right now. Do whatever you can, but just do something. Stieber My main focus is keeping the business open any way I possibly can, which right now means switching to a to-go–only format this week. But we have to do what we have to do, and I’m doing whatever I can to make sure I pay my staff and keep their jobs. If you have the ability to stay home and still get paid and you’re willing to share with the people who need it, then do so. Just stop posting the same memes—pony up and do something legitimate to help. Nave I don’t leave my house a lot [when I’m not at the hospital]. We have gone to the grocery store. We do not bring our children. I keep hand sanitizer in my purse. The second I get in my car, I sanitize my hands again. We bring all the groceries in, unload then, and immediately wipe every single food item down: boxes, milk jugs, whatever. Then, we take a wipe and retrace our entire steps from the time we entered the house—every doorknob, every baby gate, every counter. Levenberg This is a time when you don’t have to put your life on the line to be a hero. You’re a hero when you pay your yard people to not show up. When you pay your cleaning people to stay home. When you send a gift card to teachers who are learning new tools to teach your children. These are all heroic measures. Bottoms I’ve been thinking a lot about the Holocaust and the diary of Anne Frank, how people’s lives changed and they had to go in hiding. When I think about that, this is a minor inconvenience. There are people who live across the globe with disease and war. I’m in a house with AC and a backyard and two dogs who get to run around and play. It’s made me grateful just about the little things—going to a restaurant, getting your nails done, going to the store. These conveniences we take for granted our entire lives. It’s given me a perspective, another layer of empathy. Nave This is a different infectious agent than we have ever seen in most of our lifetimes. This truly is unprecedented. I was at Emory when we dealt with Ebola. Ebola’s mortality is way worse than this, and it’s very infectious—but not as infectious as this. This is crazy: You start with one city in China, and now, the whole world has it because we’re so interconnected. This is such an unprecedented infectious agent that we have to be more diligent and cautious, even at the cost of some of the economics of this country. Because how do you put value on a life? Hollingsworth If we have a death in our community, it’s our practice to come together as a community and tell stories. We can’t do that now. But an interment can’t wait. The staff here will do small graveside services, and we’ll encourage families to push a memorial service into the future. Gallagher [My wife and I have] had some difficult talks about the greater good. Is it being available as a soup kitchen, or selling food to raise money for our staff, or closing down and keeping the highest level of social distancing? This morning, she shared a dream she had where she was in the grocery store and there was too many people and she could see the hand sanitizer and she couldn’t get to it. Levenberg I hope we have a renewed understanding of those who are more marginalized than we are and of the privileges we claim by default. Maybe that sense will be awakened in people who are seeing that there are a lot of people who are worse off, who are seeing that they’ve milked the existing system for their families at the expense of others. Amy Phuong and Kerry O’Brate Photograph by Audra Melton Phuong We thought, What’s preventing us from still getting married? So, we went to the courthouse to get our marriage license the last day the court was open. We pulled up the weather app to look for a date when it wasn’t going to rain. Bill Bolling [the founder of Atlanta Community Food Bank, who was officiating] said, “Pick a pretty spot.” I thought, let’s just pick our neighborhood park, Cabbagetown Park. When Kerry and I first started dating, it was midway between our houses. My parents came, my sister. We had to keep it under 10. We had hand sanitizer. I picked up pastries from Alon’s that morning. We used Kerry’s Zoom account to do some livestreaming. We wanted to make sure family and friends got to be a part of it. On the virtual stream, somebody wore pearls, somebody put on a dress and makeup, someone wore a tuxedo T-shirt, one of the bridesmaids who couldn’t be there even wore her dress. There was a beautiful moment in the ceremony where Bill was addressing the virtual crowd. His remarks almost made the park feel like it was full. He did an affirmation: “Will you guys support this couple?” That was a beautiful moment, looking over at an iPhone on a tripod and hearing everyone say, “We will.” Expanded interviews: These Georgians had so much more to say than we had space to print. To read their full stories, click on the names below. Dr. Michelle Au | Dr. Meria Carstarphen | Devon Clinkscales | Hugh Acheson | Amy Phuong | Mike Gallagher | Jarrett Stieber | Belisa Urbina | Shawn Ware |Dock Hollingsworth | Keisha Lance Bottoms | Joey Camp | Dr. Laurence Busse | Dr. Jessica Nave | Marshall Rancifer | Brad Levenberg This article appears in our May 2020 issue. The post 21st Century Plague appeared first on Atlanta Magazine. #JarrettStieber #EmpireStateSouth #KeishaLanceBottoms #MichelleAu #Coronavirus

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/everybody-knows-that-pestilences-have-a-way-of-recurring-in-the-world-yet-somehow-we-find-it-hard-to-believe-in-ones-that-crash-down-on-our-heads-from-a-blue-sky

[blog-researchblog]

My interest in Animation

Reflection on the 7 questions

The article, 7 Powerful Questions to Find Out What You Want to Do with Your LIfe ,by Scott Christ , asks seven questions to make one think as to what they should pick for a career path. The article brings one’s passions, accomplishments, limits, goals, admiration, dislikes, and drive into question. The career path that fits me is Animation. I’m passionate about video games, animated series, and art in the world in general. I’m in my most concentrated state when I’m drawing and animating. Growing up I was always fascinated in how video games are cartoons brought to life. I wondered what the process was, how many people it took, and how long it took to make these things final. I have always loved drawing. I spent a lot of my free time growing up just drawing and watching others draw to try and figure out their techniques. 

I take pride in things such as always having a GPA above a 3.0 throughout my entire schooling career and  In any completed art piece, even if it isn’t my best. It’s very satisfying when others reassure you about your work. 

Some things I would do if my life was limitless is I would choose to live in a warmer state. I would buy a nice desktop, a better drawing tablet, and work to get my portfolio up to high standards. If there were no limits, I could apply to high end companies without even graduating from college. I would buy a nice house, travel to areas I normally don’t have the money for, I’d try new experiences more in general.

My goals are to get married by the time I’m 30, Buy a home in California, get a job at an animation company, and work my way up the corporate ladder in the animation world.My biggest goal is to create a well known and long running animated tv series. 

 I really admire those who start out with little to no money and make a huge name out of themselves through hard work. I also admire those who have become so well known that even long after they have passed they continue to leave their mark through inspiring others.

I would like a job where I never feel like I’m not doing anything. I’m currently a cashier at a grocery store, and being at the register is the same repeated process with nothing exciting.  I really never liked the idea of ever being a stay at home mom. It seems boring and dismal, i want a lifelong job that holds my interest and makes a difference. 

People love to joke that you can’t make money with an art degree, but the truth is that if you’re good enough you can be heavily successful. I feel I have the drive it takes to get there. Animating is a grueling and time-consuming process. Many nights I go either without sleep or I sleep very little because I’m balancing 5 classes, 3 of which are 3 hours long, and a part time job. Even just as a college student I have noticed I have to do a lot more work outside of class than other students like my roommate who is a business major. Being an art major takes a lot of will sometimes. You can spend hours on a project and since art is subjective a teacher can hate it and make you redo the whole thing. I work very hard to maintain good grades even though I typically have too much on my plate at once. I am willing to move away if it means I will get paid more, I am willing to redraw something over and over if I must just to reach the standards of the one asking me to draw it. I am willing to go days without sleep if I need to in order to reach deadlines. I am willing to do almost anything within reason to reach my goal. I have wanted to be an animator since I was in elementary school and I wouldn’t want to settle for anything less.In order to find general  information related to my career field choice, I read the article on it in the Occupational Handbook, these are my findings.

  General information on the job 

Multimedia artists and Animators

According to the Occupational Handbook entry, “ Multimedia Artists and Animators”, The industry for these occupations is rising in Demand; This is shown through diversity in how they are employed, the degree needed, and the salary . The responsibilities of this job include creating animations, illustrations and graphics. It also includes working as a team to create final products such as games and shows. The job requires considering feedback from others and doing a lot of editing. As well as meeting with clients, and others in the field to decide on and meet deadlines. Typically, they are media specific being video games, shows, backgrounds, and effects.

These artists are employed by different people. The majority, 59 percent, are self-employed. The next highest is video game and motion picture industries at 12 percent. The rest are computer design, software publishers, and advertising/ public relations in that order. They typically work their schedules based on deadlines they are given.

In order to become a multimedia artist or animator one must typically start with a degree. Usually a bachelor’s in either animation, game design, or interactive media. They move up in the field through good teamwork and time management. These skills can be learned on one’s own. One must have artist talent, good communication, computer skills, creativity, and time management in order to thrive in this career.

The pay for this occupation varies. There is a median pay of 72,520 overall for the industry. The highest rate on average was 124,310, while the lowest was 40, 870. The order in which the median pay rate for related occupations goes from highest to lowest is software publishers (82,360), then motion picture and video game industries (77,860), then computer design (76,920), and lastly advertising (67,330).

/The demand for animation and multimedia artists is expected to jump by 4 percent over a 10-year span. This is due to demand for games, shows, movies and mobile applications. The downside is that some will hire those overseas instead in order to save money.

Interview with an animator 

Interviewee: Elizabeth Schneider (APD professor at Kutztown.)

Questions:

What made you decide to go into the Animation industry?

What do you do on a daily basis that relates to animation?

What is your favorite project you’ve done?

What are some events related to the animation field that are big right now?

What about Animation do you find troublesome/ what do you wish would change about the industry if you had the chance to?

How do you feel about the recent sonic movie?

To find out what the animation industry is like first-hand, I interviewed my professor, Elizabeth Schneider. Elizabeth is a professor who teaches APD(applied digital arts) related courses at Kutztown University. She prefers to go by liz, so that is how I will refer to her. I asked Liz first what made her get into animation, she replied that she was always interested in drawing, but that a certain artist, William Kentridge, had work that gave an immersive experience and that it made her want for an art career grow. I relate to this because I also started out drawing, and after watching a lot of animated series, and seeing digital art overall, i decided this is what I wanted to do with my life. I then asked Liz about how animation is manifested in her daily life, she talked about how she's a professor, she watches a lot of digital content in her free time, and she works on her own independent artwork when she has free time. This is all relatable to me as well aside from being a professor. The best and 3rd question i asked liz, was what her favorite art piece is that she’s done, her response was, “Right now, I'm working on a piece about the wilderness infringing on society as a metaphor for chaos and madness. It's more narrative than my previous work, and completely digital, when usually I use both traditional and digital techniques..” I find that question the most interesting because artists love talking about their work since it’s typically their passion. I like that she included that she is broadening her horizons in a way by doing a piece fully in digital which she typically doesn’t do. I asked her what she thinks are events are big in the industry right now, she gave me the examples, The CTN animation expo, Siggraph, and the Ottawa film festival. On a less positive note, I also asked Liz what she feels is something related to the field that she wishes was different. LIz said that there aren't enough women in the field overall, whether that be writers, editors, producers, or animators. This is an issue that I will personally have to encounter myself, and i’m glad she gave an answer that could be a concern for me to have going forward. The last thing I inquired Liz about was the topic of my current event article, the sonic Movie. I asked how she felt about it and she told me that she didn’t really have any strong feelings about it, and then gave me some examples of some other animated films that she thinks I should check out. Liz brought up some really solid things that I personally can relate to, and I’m happy I chose her for this interview. Now I will go into the details of that current event article. 

Current event in the field

    On february 14th 2020, The sonic the hedgehog movie was released.

This movie made roughly 57 million dollars on the weekend of its release.  The article,  ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ Opens Strong at the Box Office, by Gabe Cohn,  goes into how the movie had to have its protagonist redesigned after backlash from viewers after the release of the first trailer. The article also mentions how normally movie adaptations of video games do not go over well. Professional reviewers were still hard on the movie even after the artistic revisions were made. However, many fans enjoyed the movie and appreciated that the company took the time to fix what they were criticized for. 

    I chose this topic because not only is it incredibly recent and connected to my career path, but it also pertains to the general public heavily. I find it interesting because it shows how there is a demand for my field and it also shows how my field relies on criticism in order to thrive. If the public had not told Sony earlier on in the process of the movie how distasteful they found the sonic design, then they wouldn’t have had the time to change it. This would not only poorly affect the overall public view of the movie, it would also hurt their sales at the box office. 

    This relates to my career path as an animator in many ways. 

First, this is a movie in which the protagonist is completely animated. Character design is a huge part of what animators do. If you have a poor character design then it is going to be hard to get people to connect and have an interest in that character. A huge part of art as a whole is that it is subjective, artists need to be able to take criticism and work with it in order to better themselves and their work. It also brings deadlines into question. Deadlines need to be met , and sometimes they also need to be pushed back. In this case Sony had to push back the release date for the movie overall because they had to redesign and reanimate the main character entirely. Animating is a process that takes a long time. This movie also combines live actors and animated characters. The animation field includes effects and time sequencing. They had to sync up sound for this movie, they had to sync up jim carrey's actions and sonics animation. 

    This article taught me multiple lessons related to my career choice.

It taught me how important supply and demand is. If there is a demand for video game movies than they are more likely to do well profit wise, if there is not they are likely destined for failure. It reminded me how important criticism and editing is. Sometimes criticism is hard, but any criticism can help one achieve better standards in their art. Every artist needs to be able to take it and dish it out. It shows how sometimes you have to completely scrap what you have and start over, and while that can be stressful, sometimes it is necessary. It also reassures me that it is a field that should be around for a long time. If one movie can make millions of dollars in one weekend then animation probably isn’t going to die out any time soon. People still enjoy it, and will still pay money to go see it. 

    I need to learn more about the animation process as a whole.

There’s so many programs I still don’t know how to use and so many I’m not yet comfortable with. I need to learn how animation teams function and how much they rely on each other. I also need to figure out how to pace myself properly as an animator and how to take criticism better. I don’t even know what programs were used in animating sonic or what they modeled and rigged sonic in. I hope that through my college education and through my own life experiences that I will one day be able to animate a movie like the Sonic movie. 

[tdrcharmschool4]

Charm School Test #3: Do The Shoes Match The Dress? - Critiques

After wowing us with their unconventional accessories, we asked the students of TDR Charm School 4 to create an entire head-to-toe look using unconventional materials. Let’s see what the girls created!

Erica Strada

So here’s the story about how having 4 packs of leopard duct tape, some feather boas, some bobby pins and a dream, can get YOU this fabulous look! So I was looking through my closet for a starting base to create/build off of, and I found this ugly blue plaid muumuu that somehow has shrunk with time. I didn’t have a lot of time on my side, so there was a lot of stress, and I do mean A LOT. I took roughly 6 hours while I was at work adding the leopard tape over the dress until I ran out of all four rolls. Being poor and destitute after just having come back from a large comic convention in Tampa, naturally I figured the best thing to do is give up since I no longer had any money or tape. But that magical little voice in my head (Sally™) told me YOU CAN DO IT! So I bobby pinned about 6 feather boas to my dress and/or neck, threw together this classic ensemble, and history is born! Also, I wish I would have recorded it, but after everything was said and done. I hulked out and tore everything off my body in a fit of rage. *ANGRY ERICA UNLOCKED* So the moral of the story is leopard tape dress matched my leopard print sea shell compact. And the world rejoiced.

Analyse: Hi, Erica! I think you know a lot of the things I’m going to say, and we both know this wasn’t your best work. I’m happy and proud of you that you were able to push through even when it seemed like all the odds were against you, and that’s a huge part of what it takes to be successful on TDR, so kudos on that. Being under these kinds of situations can definitely cause the stress to push us to be creative, and you worked with what you had, but at the end of the day, it all falls a little flat. I do appreciate the coordination between the skirt, compact, and headband (which I think you said you also put tape on?), but the boas as a tactic to cover the unfinished top are a pretty big disconnect. Make sure in the coming weeks and if you’re on Cycle 10, you put as much thought into hair as you do into the look, and if you find yourself in this situation again, at least throw on a lip and some blush. Finally, when we ask for head-to-toe pictures, we need to see head-to-toe and not cut off at the knee. Again, I’m proud of you for pushing through, but we need to see you step it up going forward!

SALLY™: I’m gonna start by commending you for actually submitting this week. Your scheduling was working hard against you and a trope of TDR is that schedules tend to hinder and hurt a lot of the work on a regular cycle. However – I say that because this isn’t a regular cycle. TDR is hella difficult and the pressure amounts almost immediately on week 1. I want you to go forward in Charm School thinking every challenge someone is gonna go home and that if you don’t deliver, you could be next to the guillotine. Aside from that, I don’t have much to critique as I was essentially there when you were struggling with your concept – your unconventional material selection works well with one another but again my comments fall into the line of this isn’t a complete look – You need to cover your hands or wear nails when executing a look. Also, you have no head to toe angle so we can’t critique your heel, and a makeup look is most certainly required when you’re on TDR. I know this was a tough week, but it was a good attempt at best.

Toni: Hey Erica!! I’m glad you were able to push through and submitted to us today! While I enjoy the colors and prints I think this was lacking a bit. First off with the duct tape you really didn't do much other that just put it on the dress Iw ould have loved to see a large transformation of the material. The same with the feathers the just looked drapped on you with very little change from their orgional form. I also would have loved to see some accessories and nails as well. The pictures were asked to be head to toe and these are not. I also wish you had found time to put in work on your makeup because the point of charm school is to have you redo it week after week to improve it .

Kushboo

So I wanted to create a classic look instead of a futurist one, so I re made the hat which was a bit of a process . White plastic, black plastic, black tape and even some painted chewing gum tablets for jewelry around the hem For the dress, I used blue plastic paper, black plastic paper, cardboard, black tape, sellotape, lots of glue and ribbon. The dress started off as a cardboard cage on the floor. It wasnt as good a skirt- cage as a proper metal frame (or whatever the real ones are made of) because it kept collapsing, but I tweaked it a bit and it retained its shape. I pleated a million blue plastic bags and pasted them along the lower circumference of the cage. Then I did the same with another million for the higher rung in the cage, till the whole thing was covered. Next I worked on a black cardboard corset. I punched holes and strung ribbon thru the back to actually tie it tight , and it worked, although I had to be very careful. To the top and bottom of the corset I glued blue and black plastic bags respectively. The black plastic i tucked into the blue skirt to act as a petticoat and provide some relief to the color tones. The top half (made of blue plastic) had to be carefully cut out to create a neckline and loose armbands/straps.  I used ribbon to create hems.

Analyse: Hello, Kushboo! This is cute!! I immediately get very Ascot-Gavotte-meets-plastic-bag-couture, which is always a good thing when your concept reads visually right away! Your thoughtfulness in using ribbon and candy “jewelry” to create finished looking edges is incredibly creative and definitely elevates the look from “I’m wearing garbage bags” to “Yes, I’m wearing garbage bags, but thoughtfully.” The shape gets a little lost for me with the cardboard corset; it kind of makes you look very boxy in the middle (which is never the goal), so make sure when you’re doing a challenge like this, you’re thinking of what will accentuate your figure and create the illusion that you’re going for in the best way possible. I’m a huge slut for nails, but I think this is a case where gloves could really elevate the look (and I would be endlessly impressed by gloves made of plastic bags!) All in all though, I’m impressed with the construction of this, it looks very cool, and it definitely gives me the idea of a character, which is always the goal in a fashion challenge, so good job! Can’t wait to see what you do in the next few weeks!

SALLY™:  I love this look. Full honesty. I didn’t expect this, and what makes it work is the fact you’ve used a colour too. I was fully expecting an array of white looks this week and the fact you’ve used colour to break yourself apart from the other competitors really shows you’ve listened to our critiques and you’re really aware of what you use and do. Like it’s just CRAZY how much you’ve used but most of it is really unnoticeable, with their full affect elevating the look. You need to cover your hands or wear nails when executing a look. I’m gonna give my two cents to your makeup; it’s week three and now I’m challenging you to actually get some lashes of your own. Your boy lashes are too short and lashes will help your face come across as more feminine and will also open your eyes up too. Overall, good job this week!

Toni: KUSH!!!! I love this outfit so much!! I really love everything you’ve done here from shape to transformation of the plastic bags and so on. I think what could have helped is a bit more volume at the top of the dress around thr shoulders as well as around the butt. It could have given a bit more of a hourglass shape that you were trying to get with the corset. I love the head piece still as well and I think the two go well together. I also would have loved to see gloves or nails (which i know you tried to make but didnt get to). You’re makeup is improving week after week and its started tor really take shape. I think your big thing now is going to be darkening those darks, brightening those brights, and making sure everything is set and I (or any of the other deans) can help you with defining that while your doing your makeup if you message us. 

Luna

This is Princess Papel. She is from the Staples kingdom. Her hobbies include being paper thin, and going back to Office Depot, where she belongs. This was, by far, the hardest challenge but also the most fun! For make up, I went for the most natural I could. I used my natural brows extended (the Naomi Smalls does it) and I liked it. I did a soft smokey pink eye. Natural face for a young princess. Think of her like an equivalent of a nymph that runs around with her little feet around the forest. If the paper was made out of paper. Or inside of staples. Y'all get the point. The outfit matches the accessory in theme and concept, so because of that, I chose not to use anything conventional beside undergarment (in this case one bra, stockings and undies.) I was gonna add a pump but I decided against it, as with this light forest nymph I was going for, I didn’t look correct. I stuck with this choice and am happy with it.  The skirt is made out of folded paper, with a paper mesh elastic of sorts (that’s how paper mesh looks when not unfolded. I made each triangle from scratch and build onto itself the center part is a huge crystal quartz to tie onto the headpiece. Wrapped in small triangles. Thank you so much for this week!

Analyse: GIRLLLLL YESSSS. ~*THIS*~ is how you keep the momentum going. You started with such a strong concept with your homework, and I’m so glad that you could carry both the concept *and* the execution over to this assignment. I don’t have much to say about the look other than that there are a few parts of the skirt where the fold has gotten a little wrinkled, so I would just back in and make sure those folds are crisp, because that’s what gives this skirt it’s shape and dramatic silhouette. It’s hard to see some of the makeup because of the headpiece and the fact that you were intentionally light-handed with it, but I think with the character, you could’ve use the opportunity to have some really fun and dramatic makeup, be it a warrior paint or something very mythical-forest-creature. Going forward, I would love to see you with nails; they can very much feminize the look, and depending on the nail, can play into the characterization. My final note for this submission is that almost every time, not wearing shoes of any type will work against you, and unfortunately, this is one of those times. Overall, it’s a FANTASTIC look, and you should be very proud. I can’t wait to see what you do going forward.

SALLY™: This is such a strong look and I’m glad that it keeps getting better and better. The strength of your execution is killer and its crazy how well you’re doing in making things out of paper. The LEDs add a slight touch of colour, but honestly, I wanted more colour. To me, I was expecting more development with different colours of paper perhaps used or a new layer of paper to add some texture, but I digress. My problems are as follows; you need to cover your hands or wear nails when executing a look. Heels are an absolute must, even if you wore some sort of footwrap or fabric around them, the closed toed pantyhose kind of threw the perfection of this look off. Also, for your makeup, it kind of just blends in to the look, you want to stand out in this type of costume and not look like the dress is wearing you, and the selection of colours are too muted for this look – try to play with what would work in a dramatic costume like this, and really think about the colour story not only on your costume, but on your makeup side of things as well. otherwise, excellent work!

Toni: I ADORE THIS ALL SO MUCH!! I really didn't expect this from you and you blew me away with this submission. I think over all there is a lot of right going on here: the unconventional aspect, the shape, how it fits and looks on you. All of those are amazing. I think your choice to wear shoes (while its good that your making character choices) was a poor one because you could have done a lot with shoes to add another level of creativity like flats or ballet slippers something along those lines. I also would have loved to see a weapon of some sorts because you gave us this amazing warrior. Onto makeup it’s somewhat hard to tell form your pictures whats going on but it looks very light if there at all and I think you need to work on making sure you are building the features in the face that you want rather than just putting on makeup. 

Nikita Nox

Hi judges! So i used a LOT of paper this week! I remade my peacock tail from hangers, popcorn bags, and a lightweight shower liner, my skirt from paper imitating movie ticket stubs ‘ADMIT ONE’, and I rolled my wig to give that fluffy glamor that I adore. My bodice was a cage made of hangers as well, painted to mirror the popcorn bucket on my head, and filled with packing peanuts colored with Dijon mustard! I’m out of the concession stand and pounding the runway (driveway?) til I hit the silver screen! Thank you!

Analyse: HELLO, Mx. Nox! This is a ~concept~. This is a ~story~. This is a ~character~. Yes. The detail and thought put into every part of this look has me blown away, and you should be proud. From head to toe, everything plays into the concept. I *do* wish there was some jewelry to compliment the look, but everything else is thought out. Really the only issues I have fall into the area of construction. We talked on Facebook about the boxiness of the top, and that’s really the only silhouette issue I have here. It’s a tough reality of unconventional challenges that sometimes the material just doesn’t want to work a certain way and something like that happens. The “tickets” for the skirt are a super cute idea, and I wish they wrapped all the way around in the front as well, but it’s not the end of the world. I think adding nails or gloves will really help to bump the polish of the look up as well. The hair looks good and is much improved from last week, so I’m so happy to see the growth in that area! My final comments are about your runway: make sure whoever is filming for you films landscape, and next time if you can, try to do your runway not on stairs. I think it’ll just be more comfortable for you. GREAT job this week, and I’m excited for what you pull out in upcoming challenges!

SALLY™:  I love a real ambitious silhouette and this really excites me because of how creative the actual concept is. The inspiration is cleverly met with your unconventional stylistic choices of the bodice and the bottom with your tickets and really it’s the start of a strong concept. I saw your issue with the bodice bulk on Facebook and really I feel as if it works because of the “entirely unconventional” aspect of the challenge and really needs a few tweaks, i.e. a cinched belt perhaps (like you could’ve hot glued a giant popcorn logo made out of card onto a belt maybe?)  and the tickets could’ve been printed a bit more – the admit one is very difficult to see, so you could’ve benefitted from actually printing those out rather than drawing them on saving you a little bit of creative time for tweaks etc. With your head to toe, there’s a thought everywhere – except that you’re not wearing nails or gloves. My only critique for the entire concept is that your makeup could’ve had a little bit more red on the cheek area because your face is slightly beige, remember eyeshadow pigments can double as a blush if you don’t have any! Great job this week.

Toni: OKAY I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. I wanna start with  your makeup because it’s whats on my mind. I think it’s getting a lot better (when i opened this It kinda looked like veronica mitchels which isnt a bad thing) I will say I think you could have worked on building a better crease becasue It just looks like eyeliner and then a block of eyeshadow color based off those pictures which is a look.... but not the best one. On to the garment I think it is stunning I love thte fantasy you’re giving. I think if you were to remake this youd want to use a normal corset and have pillow fluff instead of packing peanut and spray paint that yellow and spray paint the corset white and red to make it look more flattering. I love the improvements to the back piece I think you could have added some glitter or stones to it to amp up that glam showgirl though.I also feel that the skirt is lacking a lot of color that could have been added if you made actual ticket designs.  

Ophelia Waters

The original behind my headpiece, and it’s connection to the later-made dress/outfit, was a kind of ballerina meets wood nymph kind of look! To compliment and mimic the headpiece, I created a dress using a base dress and then embellishing and covering it with origami flowers in the same style as the headpiece, attached with hot glue! To make the whole look a bit less simplistic than the original headpiece, I decided to go with a pastel-y warm colour palette, using reds, pinks, and yellows for the flowers on the dress and mirror-ing it on the headpiece! Finally, I wanted to tie the whole look together with a warmer colour, as with the dress, for the makeup by using red/pink tones for the eyes, contour, and lips!

Analyse: OPHELIA! This is such a great example of taking feedback, applying it, making it your own, and really pushing yourself to grow. This is a cute little look, and I wish the pictures were a little closer so I could see the details of the construction, but from far away, it looks very well thought out. I love that you aren’t afraid to play with different makeup ideas and that you really use makeup as a creative outlet for the look, and I think it’ll just keep becoming more effective as you work on technique and figure out that balance of blended and defined. If your drag isn’t to wear a wig, I’m honestly not mad at that, but know that if you’re cutting out certain elements of what’s expected like that, everything else needs to get bumped up to compensate. Overall, this is a cute look and it shows a lot of creativity! Good luck as we head into the back half of the competition!

SALLY™: Hi Ophelia! I like the silhouette and stylistic choices coming into this challenge so I had high hopes you’d apply your critiques to your premade accessory and also your look. Honestly, I do like this, I think your makeup is really cut and is starting to take shape, keep practicing! My concern is that from your pictures, you honestly are too far away for me to pick at anything with criticism. I can see that the bottom matches well with your accessory extremely well and your bodice is a little Mondrian – I would’ve lost the black stripes in this look and as an addition, you could’ve painted little pixie swirls to blend in with your hair and perhaps wear a hair net to compress your hair, just to emphasise your pixie concept we talked about. Gloves or nails please for the next time you do a look – they would add so much as there’s a lot of empty space around the top part of your concept and it would’ve tied the look a bit more together. Great Job! 

Toni: I think this is so adoreable and I am so happy with what you put together. first comment is I wish your pictures were closer because its hard to see whats going on. But from what I could see I really love the shame you’ve created and it works well on your slim figure. I think you could have done a few of the little cones of paper on top of the corset to carry it all the way up. I lvoe that you addec olors to the head piece because it really brought it to life. Onto your makeup I’m glad you took my critique of your hair test and blended out the color because this looks AMAZNIG!!! I think if you had blended a bit more it would have been flawless. You also could have chosen to use eyliner to help build your eyeshape more. And just because I’m extra I think it would have been cute to put a few fake pearls on your forehead.

[canaryatlaw]

So today was okay. Better than yesterday I suppose. The morning was just kind of.....weird. I was out of it for like, a while, but we'll get there. Got up at 7 to my alarm, ate breakfast (still no milk, so oatmeal, eggos, and probably a cookie again). Got on the bus, got to work and didn't set off the metal detector for like, the third time ever haha though it might have something to do with the bitchy sheriff not working it at that time. So I get to my office and look for my supervisor or any of the calendar attorneys but I can't find them, so I just go to my office and resume working on my timeline for TPR. Sometime around then I realized I left my lunchbox on my kitchen table. Whoops. So I worked for a little and then people show up and I was informed there was a team meeting that morning that I accidentally didn't get notified about haha but I can obviously come to them from now on. The paralegal on our calendar is this super nice guy and he brought me a tamale because he brought them for the meeting and I wasn't really able to eat it but I still very much appreciated it. Sometime around here is where things get trippy. I start with the getting cold and not being able to focus so I put my coat on and set my alarm for some amount of time I can't recall to try and get my powernap in. I think I woke up before the alarm but still felt out of it. I tried to work on my stuff but it was like, incredibly difficult to actually do because I was constantly typing stuff wrong and having to redo it. I remember it turning 12 pm and thinking I need to go get food if I want to have a lunch, but then I just didn't....and I don't really know what happened for the next hour because my next memory is my phone ringing at 1 pm and having my supervisor tell me we'd leave for the client interview at 1:30. So I was pretty alert at that point, and worked for a bit before heading out. This was actually my first child interview, and there's like a form with questions and shit you're supposed to ask but like, obviously a lot of placements are different so not everyone is gonna apply. This was kind of an odd one because she's only been in the placement a little over a week, so there's only so much she can say about it. So we get there and she's this adorable smiling 5 year old girl that you would never knew was removed from her mother's custody two weeks ago. It was immediately obvious that she was very strongly bonded to the foster parent, saying she was her "Titi", and that her "grandma" (FP's mom) lived upstairs and her sister and sisters son (FP's daughter and grandson) live downstairs. She's been in this house since May 2nd but it became quite clear she had decided she wanted to stay here. So we do the interviewing, and she's a 5 year old so she can't stay in one place, and she answers questions with things like "there are no rules here!!" when asked about discipline haha but I didn't think it was that bad, we got the important info. When we brought up her mom, who hasn't visited since she was placed there, and she said she would like to see her mom, but made it very clear that she still wanted to stay in the foster home forever. According to the foster parent, she hadn't mentioned her mother or anyone from her life "before" since coming to live there. After we had our answers we did a little tour of the house, and then I kind of ended up entertaining her while my supervisor spoke with the foster parent. So she showed me her toys, then went on the iPad and showed me what she was watching- scenes from Supergirl. She had on the one from 2x01 where Kara and Clark both save the space shuttle from crashing together and like this scene made me cry when I watched it on tv so I'm like dammit Rachel keep it together this is not the place lol but I managed to contain myself. And she was saying how much she liked Supergirl, so I asked her if she knew who Wonder Woman was, and she said no so I showed her the most recent trailer and she was awe-struck. She loved it so much and kept saying she can't wait that long for the movie to come out (I figured the trailer isn't all that graphically violent, and I mean, not for nothing but this kid has probably seen a lot worse). She really liked seeing Diana as a little girl and at one point where little Diana was walking with her mother she said "oh, she's going somewhere with her mom, that's so sweet" and she like, wiped her eye. I don't think she actually like, teared up, but it definitely stuck out to me that she would make that kind of comment- that that would be something she would envy after her own experience with her mother (if you missed last night's post, the cliff notes version of this case was mom is a heroin addict who was living with a convicted sex offender, they were living in what was essentially an abandoned building with no hear and holes in the floor, and there were claims of physical abuse and the mom constantly referring to her daughter as "that little bitch" and other such things, so yeah). I'm glad I got to interact with her in a more relaxed environment though, she was always very sweet and happy, insisting she doesn't get scared or sad, or anything negative. She hasn't been to any school but when I said to type in Wonder Woman her finger hovered over the W and she asked if that was the letter it started with, which I thought was fairly bright for someone who hasn't been to school at all and apparently doesn't even like, know her numbers. But yeah, that was about it for the visit. Hopefully this won't be the last I see of the case and I'll get to see her again further down the line. So on the car ride back we talked about what we thought, my boss said she thought how much she clung to the foster parent so quickly was definitely an abandonment issue, and lord knows that will only get worse if this placement doesn't work out long term (because tbh in all likelihood she's not going home). The foster parent said she was open to adopting though, so I really hope she gets one of the rare happy endings that come out of our court building. Got back and it was like 3:45, so I typed up the interview with all the information and started doing some other stuff before heading out around 5. Bus was slower than usual because it was rainy and traffic wasn't great, and I didn't end up getting off it until 6:35 which wasn't great because I had PT at 7. Thankfully it's only 2 blocks over so I just ran in and changed, ate like two cookies (I mean, I had to eat something, it might as well be cookies) and ran back out again. It hadn't really been raining when I got off the bus but when I went to walk over at 6:50 it had started enough to use an umbrella. PT was fine, I was working with a different person partially because my schedule changed and partially because my normal guy is in Europe right now lol. He was nice though and we had some good conversations, and I definitely feel like I'm getting better with the exercises. I'm gonna end up going tomorrow again because it was the only place I could fit it into my schedule, and the appointment is at 6 so I'll have to uber home to make it but oh well. By the time I left PT, the rain had increased to torrential downpour levels. Like I can't remember the last time I was stuck in rain this bad. I wanted to pick up milk for my damn Cocoa krispies, so I stopped in the little produce store that was right on my route home and grabbed some of that. It was cute, seemed to have some Mexican products and candy and such. So I take my half gallon of milk (no bag, because bags now cost 7 cents in Chicago), my purse, and my umbrella and head out into the rain. And I'm just getting soaked. I'm wearing sneakers and leggings because I was in PT of course, so my sneakers end up getting totally soaked through, and my leggings did as well up to my knees. All I could think was all the people passing me were probably thinking "who's the schmuck that decided they needed to run out and get milk in the middle of a torrential downpour???? 😂😂 me, apparently. I was very thankful when I made it home and immediately ditched my shoes, socks, and leggings for dry clothing. Glad that was over. I watched Arrow, since I'm still hanging in there for the season finale with Katrina and Katie, and the episode was pretty meh. I wasn't terribly into the whole Oliver and Thea dealing with the fact that their dad did bad things storyline cuz like, wasn't the entire basis of the list making up for the sins he's committed? Like to me that only adds to the reasons Oliver became the green arrow. And I'm sorry but I have to bitch about the Rene child custody plotline because it was SO ridiculously inaccurate I actually wanted to scream at my tv screen. Their entire premise was total bullshit. He doesn't want to go because it's a hearing and he'll have to testify? Well no shit Sherlock, did you think they were just gonna hand her over to you because you showed up? And then he wouldn't do it because it would traumatize Zoe- ummmmmmm, here's the thing- the kids aren't in the damn courtroom for any of that. Like, ever, especially not at that age. I know judges that will do pretty much whatever is humanly possible to stop a kid from having to take the stand or watch a parent testify. Like that entire thing was 100% bullshit and I was so done with it. Meh. I already sent Guggenheim a somewhat passive more aggressive ask about it but I doubt he'll answer whether they actually did any research because their entire thing was bs, lol. Anyway. I finished watching that around 9:20, at which point I switched over to designated survivor which was on currently. I can't say I was into this week's episode as much as I have been with the others lately. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't like totally amazing. And I mean, every show is gonna have episodes like that. I thought the UN plot was interesting if a bit odd, and then of course the whole al-sakar thing when it was a question of lying to the people and a potential national security issue, like that is a super interesting question to be asking so I applaud them for that. After that I just turned the news on and then watched a little bit for friends before getting in the shower. I got new shampoo and conditioner in the mail today because I saw this brand in a Facebook ad (I'm a total sucker, I know) that like makes custom formula shampoos based on the type of your hair and the things you're looking for in a shampoo and conditioner, and they mix it up and send it to you. So I used that for the first time and I guess we'll see how it works out. I have color protection as one of my goals obviously, and it doesn't have any sulfate a so that's a good sign, but the instructions were also like "use daily" and I was like lol I've literally been washing my hair once a week for months now, washing it daily is not gonna help my color. I'll have to test that though after I dye my hair, which I need to do soon. OKAY, I think that's all I had to say so I will now retire to bed. Goodnight my lovely friends. Be blessed.

[evnoweb]

New Year, New Mindset

Every year, I make New Year resolutions and ignore them. I don’t promise to fulfill them. I don’t even check my progress and revise as needed. I make-and-forget, check it off the New Year’s To Do list and move on.

This year, I’m trying something different: resolutions that aren’t quantified, that won’t take extra time from my too-busy schedule. Resolutions that will, instead, are more about my teaching mindset. Here’s my list:

I will learn one new tech tool a month

There are so many. I get massive lists of webtools, websites, apps, extensions, and links in my inbox, mostly proclaimed as “the tool I can’t do without”. Every month, I’ll pick one and try it.

Just to be clear: Today’s tech ed tools aren’t like they used to be. The ones I’m interested in are easy-to-use, intuitive, easily differentiated for varied student needs, and free or inexpensive. Anything that requires a time commitment to learn and buckets of creativity to use is off the list. My schedule is too packed for that sort of commitment. And, I’ll unpack them with the students, authentically, as part of a project we’re doing. An example: I use Padlet to curate and share projects. Instead, I’ll use Tozzl at least once.

To get me started, would you add a comment with your favorite tool — the one I should start with in January.

I will say yes when students ask for a variance from my lesson plan

I spend hours developing lesson plans. Even carryovers from last year, I must revise, update, and re-evaluate in the lens of how it went last year and what new twists my team has added. I’m vested in each piece which makes it difficult to NOT answer with a knee-jerk “No” when a student suggests something they think will work better for them. In fact, I’ve done this so well in the past, students rarely make suggestions anymore. This new year, I’ll encourage students to replace Voki with Tellagami or a written book report with an audio version. I’m going to ask them to consider how they communicate best and choose a method suited to their needs — as long as they accomplish the lesson goals.

Lesson goals — like the Big Idea and Essential Question — shouldn’t be dependent upon the tool. I’m going to make that a reality.

I will get rid of word lists

I spend hours coming up with words that fit what we’re studying. Or, I get lazy and take the word lists included in the pre-packaged material. Students look them up, define them, create a sentence using them, and are — at that point– expected to understand them in context. This doesn’t always work as planned. Often, they come to the word in the lesson and must pull the list up to refresh their understanding. Other times, they just skip it.

In 2018, I’ll toss the lists (oh, that will save so much time). When students come to an unknown word, they’ll use word analysis skills (such as roots, affixes, and context) to decode meaning. If that isn’t sufficient, they’ll use an easy-to-access dictionary tool (like a right-click or a stand-alone tool) that enables them to look it up quickly and return to their reading. I will expect them to be curious, word detectives, and responsible for their own learning.

Note: A webtool I’ve found useful in this endeavor is a shared Google Keep note. When students find an unknown word, they add it to the class list. Soon, we have an authentic academic or domain-specific word list created by students.

I will encourage collaboration

Conversation between classmates is welcome if it is on message. They will be encouraged to learn from each other, work together, share knowledge in a collaborative open environment. If they get off topic, I’ll come up with ways to fix that (leave a comment below if you want some suggestions).

I will be more available to students and parents

We talk about the importance of the parent-teacher link, but then set structured office hours and narrow timeframes in which we can meet with them. While this might suit my schedule, it rarely fits a parent’s 9-5 workday. This new year, I’ll let parents meet with me on their schedule when it doesn’t interfere with classes.  This might mean it falls during my prep time or I have to come in or leave on a flex schedule. I might even arrange parent meetings in the evenings via Google Hangouts (or Skype), where we can talk in realtime, face-to-face, and share their child’s work (via the screensharing tool).

Talking to colleagues who do this, surprisingly it doesn’t make their day endless. In fact, because parents feel you are more accessible, always willing to discuss their child, they become less demanding. Well, once they get past the backlog of questions they haven’t been able to ask all year.

I will encourage parents to help in my classroom

Transparency is an oft-discussed and rarely-delivered promise. Often, we think it’s counter-productive for our curriculum to be questioned by non-professionals. But, really, it’s about extending our teaching to a different group of learners: parents, helping them understand how all the pieces work. I don’t expect many parents to take me up on this offer, but I will welcome those who want to drop by to see what exactly a Technology class looks like. They can participate, help, or just watch. They can ask clarifying questions (after class). They might even request tutoring to catch up on what their children are learning that they haven’t a clue about.

BTW, dedicated parent classes work well, too. I usually offer them during lunch or after school. The parents who attend become my cheerleaders in the school community.

I will let students redo work without dinging their grade

We teach write-edit-redo, but then refuse to let students do it when it’s outside of the writing class. What’s with that? I will allow students to redo their work for a better grade. I’ll even help them master skills they don’t get in after-school tutoring. The hard workers will be rewarded for their efforts and move much closer to achieving the goals I’d planned for the lessons.

Note: To a person, the teachers I know who do this tell me it doesn’t add to their day. Students often redo the work on their own time or in the lab, after school, when the teacher is there anyway. They become some of the most positive, supportive students, as do their parents.

I will play music during keyboarding time

Most keyboarding tools I’ve seen don’t concentrate on pace as a factor in touch typing. In fact, keeping a steady rhythm while fingers hit the keys is critical to developing speed. In the real world, students think they should go as fast as they can, meaning speed through easy words like “as, is, and” and slow down for complicated words like “calculate”. In reality, a steady pace is one of the biggest predictors of speed in keyboarding.

Which brings us back to music. Music has a rhythm that continues throughout the song. I need to pick one that’s the right speed for my students and they like, but then they’ll enjoy the novelty of working to music.

***

I’m excited about these changes. They may rearrange my time, but it’s about working smarter, not harder.

I like that.

More about classroom management:

4 Great Alternatives to Google Classroom

18 Ideas for Warm-ups, Exit Tickets

How to Blend DoK into Lesson Plans without a Comprehensive Rewrite

Jacqui Murray has been teaching K-18 technology for 25 years. She is the editor/author of over a hundred tech ed resources including a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum. She is an adjunct professor in tech ed, webmaster for four blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, CAEP reviewer, CSTA presentation reviewer, freelance journalist on tech ed topics, and a weekly contributor to TeachHUB. You can find her resources at Structured Learning.

New Year, New Mindset published first on http://ift.tt/2gZRS4X

[statrano]

New Year, New Mindset

Every year, I make New Year resolutions and ignore them. I don’t promise to fulfill them. I don’t even check my progress and revise as needed. I make-and-forget, check it off the New Year’s To Do list and move on.

This year, I’m trying something different: resolutions that aren’t quantified, that won’t take extra time from my too-busy schedule. Resolutions that will, instead, are more about my teaching mindset. Here’s my list:

I will learn one new tech tool a month

There are so many. I get massive lists of webtools, websites, apps, extensions, and links in my inbox, mostly proclaimed as “the tool I can’t do without”. Every month, I’ll pick one and try it.

Just to be clear: Today’s tech ed tools aren’t like they used to be. The ones I’m interested in are easy-to-use, intuitive, easily differentiated for varied student needs, and free or inexpensive. Anything that requires a time commitment to learn and buckets of creativity to use is off the list. My schedule is too packed for that sort of commitment. And, I’ll unpack them with the students, authentically, as part of a project we’re doing. An example: I use Padlet to curate and share projects. Instead, I’ll use Tozzl at least once.

To get me started, would you add a comment with your favorite tool — the one I should start with in January.

I will say yes when students ask for a variance from my lesson plan

I spend hours developing lesson plans. Even carryovers from last year, I must revise, update, and re-evaluate in the lens of how it went last year and what new twists my team has added. I’m vested in each piece which makes it difficult to NOT answer with a knee-jerk “No” when a student suggests something they think will work better for them. In fact, I’ve done this so well in the past, students rarely make suggestions anymore. This new year, I’ll encourage students to replace Voki with Tellagami or a written book report with an audio version. I’m going to ask them to consider how they communicate best and choose a method suited to their needs — as long as they accomplish the lesson goals.

Lesson goals — like the Big Idea and Essential Question — shouldn’t be dependent upon the tool. I’m going to make that a reality.

I will get rid of word lists

I spend hours coming up with words that fit what we’re studying. Or, I get lazy and take the word lists included in the pre-packaged material. Students look them up, define them, create a sentence using them, and are — at that point– expected to understand them in context. This doesn’t always work as planned. Often, they come to the word in the lesson and must pull the list up to refresh their understanding. Other times, they just skip it.

In 2018, I’ll toss the lists (oh, that will save so much time). When students come to an unknown word, they’ll use word analysis skills (such as roots, affixes, and context) to decode meaning. If that isn’t sufficient, they’ll use an easy-to-access dictionary tool (like a right-click or a stand-alone tool) that enables them to look it up quickly and return to their reading. I will expect them to be curious, word detectives, and responsible for their own learning.

Note: A webtool I’ve found useful in this endeavor is a shared Google Keep note. When students find an unknown word, they add it to the class list. Soon, we have an authentic academic or domain-specific word list created by students.

I will encourage collaboration

Conversation between classmates is welcome if it is on message. They will be encouraged to learn from each other, work together, share knowledge in a collaborative open environment. If they get off topic, I’ll come up with ways to fix that (leave a comment below if you want some suggestions).

I will be more available to students and parents

We talk about the importance of the parent-teacher link, but then set structured office hours and narrow timeframes in which we can meet with them. While this might suit my schedule, it rarely fits a parent’s 9-5 workday. This new year, I’ll let parents meet with me on their schedule when it doesn’t interfere with classes.  This might mean it falls during my prep time or I have to come in or leave on a flex schedule. I might even arrange parent meetings in the evenings via Google Hangouts (or Skype), where we can talk in realtime, face-to-face, and share their child’s work (via the screensharing tool).

Talking to colleagues who do this, surprisingly it doesn’t make their day endless. In fact, because parents feel you are more accessible, always willing to discuss their child, they become less demanding. Well, once they get past the backlog of questions they haven’t been able to ask all year.

I will encourage parents to help in my classroom

Transparency is an oft-discussed and rarely-delivered promise. Often, we think it’s counter-productive for our curriculum to be questioned by non-professionals. But, really, it’s about extending our teaching to a different group of learners: parents, helping them understand how all the pieces work. I don’t expect many parents to take me up on this offer, but I will welcome those who want to drop by to see what exactly a Technology class looks like. They can participate, help, or just watch. They can ask clarifying questions (after class). They might even request tutoring to catch up on what their children are learning that they haven’t a clue about.

BTW, dedicated parent classes work well, too. I usually offer them during lunch or after school. The parents who attend become my cheerleaders in the school community.

I will let students redo work without dinging their grade

We teach write-edit-redo, but then refuse to let students do it when it’s outside of the writing class. What’s with that? I will allow students to redo their work for a better grade. I’ll even help them master skills they don’t get in after-school tutoring. The hard workers will be rewarded for their efforts and move much closer to achieving the goals I’d planned for the lessons.

Note: To a person, the teachers I know who do this tell me it doesn’t add to their day. Students often redo the work on their own time or in the lab, after school, when the teacher is there anyway. They become some of the most positive, supportive students, as do their parents.

I will play music during keyboarding time

Most keyboarding tools I’ve seen don’t concentrate on pace as a factor in touch typing. In fact, keeping a steady rhythm while fingers hit the keys is critical to developing speed. In the real world, students think they should go as fast as they can, meaning speed through easy words like “as, is, and” and slow down for complicated words like “calculate”. In reality, a steady pace is one of the biggest predictors of speed in keyboarding.

Which brings us back to music. Music has a rhythm that continues throughout the song. I need to pick one that’s the right speed for my students and they like, but then they’ll enjoy the novelty of working to music.

***

I’m excited about these changes. They may rearrange my time, but it’s about working smarter, not harder.

I like that.

More about classroom management:

4 Great Alternatives to Google Classroom

18 Ideas for Warm-ups, Exit Tickets

How to Blend DoK into Lesson Plans without a Comprehensive Rewrite

Jacqui Murray has been teaching K-18 technology for 25 years. She is the editor/author of over a hundred tech ed resources including a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum. She is an adjunct professor in tech ed, webmaster for four blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, CAEP reviewer, CSTA presentation reviewer, freelance journalist on tech ed topics, and a weekly contributor to TeachHUB. You can find her resources at Structured Learning.

New Year, New Mindset published first on http://ift.tt/2iEL915

[endevia]

New Year, New Mindset

Every year, I make New Year resolutions and ignore them. I don’t promise to fulfill them. I don’t even check my progress and revise as needed. I make-and-forget, check it off the New Year’s To Do list and move on.

This year, I’m trying something different: resolutions that aren’t quantified, that won’t take extra time from my too-busy schedule. Resolutions that will, instead, are more about my teaching mindset. Here’s my list:

I will learn one new tech tool a month

There are so many. I get massive lists of webtools, websites, apps, extensions, and links in my inbox, mostly proclaimed as “the tool I can’t do without”. Every month, I’ll pick one and try it.

Just to be clear: Today’s tech ed tools aren’t like they used to be. The ones I’m interested in are easy-to-use, intuitive, easily differentiated for varied student needs, and free or inexpensive. Anything that requires a time commitment to learn and buckets of creativity to use is off the list. My schedule is too packed for that sort of commitment. And, I’ll unpack them with the students, authentically, as part of a project we’re doing. An example: I use Padlet to curate and share projects. Instead, I’ll use Tozzl at least once.

To get me started, would you add a comment with your favorite tool — the one I should start with in January.

I will say yes when students ask for a variance from my lesson plan

I spend hours developing lesson plans. Even carryovers from last year, I must revise, update, and re-evaluate in the lens of how it went last year and what new twists my team has added. I’m vested in each piece which makes it difficult to NOT answer with a knee-jerk “No” when a student suggests something they think will work better for them. In fact, I’ve done this so well in the past, students rarely make suggestions anymore. This new year, I’ll encourage students to replace Voki with Tellagami or a written book report with an audio version. I’m going to ask them to consider how they communicate best and choose a method suited to their needs — as long as they accomplish the lesson goals.

Lesson goals — like the Big Idea and Essential Question — shouldn’t be dependent upon the tool. I’m going to make that a reality.

I will get rid of word lists

I spend hours coming up with words that fit what we’re studying. Or, I get lazy and take the word lists included in the pre-packaged material. Students look them up, define them, create a sentence using them, and are — at that point– expected to understand them in context. This doesn’t always work as planned. Often, they come to the word in the lesson and must pull the list up to refresh their understanding. Other times, they just skip it.

In 2018, I’ll toss the lists (oh, that will save so much time). When students come to an unknown word, they’ll use word analysis skills (such as roots, affixes, and context) to decode meaning. If that isn’t sufficient, they’ll use an easy-to-access dictionary tool (like a right-click or a stand-alone tool) that enables them to look it up quickly and return to their reading. I will expect them to be curious, word detectives, and responsible for their own learning.

Note: A webtool I’ve found useful in this endeavor is a shared Google Keep note. When students find an unknown word, they add it to the class list. Soon, we have an authentic academic or domain-specific word list created by students.

I will encourage collaboration

Conversation between classmates is welcome if it is on message. They will be encouraged to learn from each other, work together, share knowledge in a collaborative open environment. If they get off topic, I’ll come up with ways to fix that (leave a comment below if you want some suggestions).

I will be more available to students and parents

We talk about the importance of the parent-teacher link, but then set structured office hours and narrow timeframes in which we can meet with them. While this might suit my schedule, it rarely fits a parent’s 9-5 workday. This new year, I’ll let parents meet with me on their schedule when it doesn’t interfere with classes.  This might mean it falls during my prep time or I have to come in or leave on a flex schedule. I might even arrange parent meetings in the evenings via Google Hangouts (or Skype), where we can talk in realtime, face-to-face, and share their child’s work (via the screensharing tool).

Talking to colleagues who do this, surprisingly it doesn’t make their day endless. In fact, because parents feel you are more accessible, always willing to discuss their child, they become less demanding. Well, once they get past the backlog of questions they haven’t been able to ask all year.

I will encourage parents to help in my classroom

Transparency is an oft-discussed and rarely-delivered promise. Often, we think it’s counter-productive for our curriculum to be questioned by non-professionals. But, really, it’s about extending our teaching to a different group of learners: parents, helping them understand how all the pieces work. I don’t expect many parents to take me up on this offer, but I will welcome those who want to drop by to see what exactly a Technology class looks like. They can participate, help, or just watch. They can ask clarifying questions (after class). They might even request tutoring to catch up on what their children are learning that they haven’t a clue about.

BTW, dedicated parent classes work well, too. I usually offer them during lunch or after school. The parents who attend become my cheerleaders in the school community.

I will let students redo work without dinging their grade

We teach write-edit-redo, but then refuse to let students do it when it’s outside of the writing class. What’s with that? I will allow students to redo their work for a better grade. I’ll even help them master skills they don’t get in after-school tutoring. The hard workers will be rewarded for their efforts and move much closer to achieving the goals I’d planned for the lessons.

Note: To a person, the teachers I know who do this tell me it doesn’t add to their day. Students often redo the work on their own time or in the lab, after school, when the teacher is there anyway. They become some of the most positive, supportive students, as do their parents.

I will play music during keyboarding time

Most keyboarding tools I’ve seen don’t concentrate on pace as a factor in touch typing. In fact, keeping a steady rhythm while fingers hit the keys is critical to developing speed. In the real world, students think they should go as fast as they can, meaning speed through easy words like “as, is, and” and slow down for complicated words like “calculate”. In reality, a steady pace is one of the biggest predictors of speed in keyboarding.

Which brings us back to music. Music has a rhythm that continues throughout the song. I need to pick one that’s the right speed for my students and they like, but then they’ll enjoy the novelty of working to music.

***

I’m excited about these changes. They may rearrange my time, but it’s about working smarter, not harder.

I like that.

More about classroom management:

4 Great Alternatives to Google Classroom

18 Ideas for Warm-ups, Exit Tickets

How to Blend DoK into Lesson Plans without a Comprehensive Rewrite

Jacqui Murray has been teaching K-18 technology for 25 years. She is the editor/author of over a hundred tech ed resources including a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum. She is an adjunct professor in tech ed, webmaster for four blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, CAEP reviewer, CSTA presentation reviewer, freelance journalist on tech ed topics, and a weekly contributor to TeachHUB. You can find her resources at Structured Learning.

New Year, New Mindset published first on http://ift.tt/2x0Vr0e

[corpasa]

New Year, New Mindset

Every year, I make New Year resolutions and ignore them. I don’t promise to fulfill them. I don’t even check my progress and revise as needed. I make-and-forget, check it off the New Year’s To Do list and move on.

This year, I’m trying something different: resolutions that aren’t quantified, that won’t take extra time from my too-busy schedule. Resolutions that will, instead, are more about my teaching mindset. Here’s my list:

I will learn one new tech tool a month

There are so many. I get massive lists of webtools, websites, apps, extensions, and links in my inbox, mostly proclaimed as “the tool I can’t do without”. Every month, I’ll pick one and try it.

Just to be clear: Today’s tech ed tools aren’t like they used to be. The ones I’m interested in are easy-to-use, intuitive, easily differentiated for varied student needs, and free or inexpensive. Anything that requires a time commitment to learn and buckets of creativity to use is off the list. My schedule is too packed for that sort of commitment. And, I’ll unpack them with the students, authentically, as part of a project we’re doing. An example: I use Padlet to curate and share projects. Instead, I’ll use Tozzl at least once.

To get me started, would you add a comment with your favorite tool — the one I should start with in January.

I will say yes when students ask for a variance from my lesson plan

I spend hours developing lesson plans. Even carryovers from last year, I must revise, update, and re-evaluate in the lens of how it went last year and what new twists my team has added. I’m vested in each piece which makes it difficult to NOT answer with a knee-jerk “No” when a student suggests something they think will work better for them. In fact, I’ve done this so well in the past, students rarely make suggestions anymore. This new year, I’ll encourage students to replace Voki with Tellagami or a written book report with an audio version. I’m going to ask them to consider how they communicate best and choose a method suited to their needs — as long as they accomplish the lesson goals.

Lesson goals — like the Big Idea and Essential Question — shouldn’t be dependent upon the tool. I’m going to make that a reality.

I will get rid of word lists

I spend hours coming up with words that fit what we’re studying. Or, I get lazy and take the word lists included in the pre-packaged material. Students look them up, define them, create a sentence using them, and are — at that point– expected to understand them in context. This doesn’t always work as planned. Often, they come to the word in the lesson and must pull the list up to refresh their understanding. Other times, they just skip it.

In 2018, I’ll toss the lists (oh, that will save so much time). When students come to an unknown word, they’ll use word analysis skills (such as roots, affixes, and context) to decode meaning. If that isn’t sufficient, they’ll use an easy-to-access dictionary tool (like a right-click or a stand-alone tool) that enables them to look it up quickly and return to their reading. I will expect them to be curious, word detectives, and responsible for their own learning.

Note: A webtool I’ve found useful in this endeavor is a shared Google Keep note. When students find an unknown word, they add it to the class list. Soon, we have an authentic academic or domain-specific word list created by students.

I will encourage collaboration

Conversation between classmates is welcome if it is on message. They will be encouraged to learn from each other, work together, share knowledge in a collaborative open environment. If they get off topic, I’ll come up with ways to fix that (leave a comment below if you want some suggestions).

I will be more available to students and parents

We talk about the importance of the parent-teacher link, but then set structured office hours and narrow timeframes in which we can meet with them. While this might suit my schedule, it rarely fits a parent’s 9-5 workday. This new year, I’ll let parents meet with me on their schedule when it doesn’t interfere with classes.  This might mean it falls during my prep time or I have to come in or leave on a flex schedule. I might even arrange parent meetings in the evenings via Google Hangouts (or Skype), where we can talk in realtime, face-to-face, and share their child’s work (via the screensharing tool).

Talking to colleagues who do this, surprisingly it doesn’t make their day endless. In fact, because parents feel you are more accessible, always willing to discuss their child, they become less demanding. Well, once they get past the backlog of questions they haven’t been able to ask all year.

I will encourage parents to help in my classroom

Transparency is an oft-discussed and rarely-delivered promise. Often, we think it’s counter-productive for our curriculum to be questioned by non-professionals. But, really, it’s about extending our teaching to a different group of learners: parents, helping them understand how all the pieces work. I don’t expect many parents to take me up on this offer, but I will welcome those who want to drop by to see what exactly a Technology class looks like. They can participate, help, or just watch. They can ask clarifying questions (after class). They might even request tutoring to catch up on what their children are learning that they haven’t a clue about.

BTW, dedicated parent classes work well, too. I usually offer them during lunch or after school. The parents who attend become my cheerleaders in the school community.

I will let students redo work without dinging their grade

We teach write-edit-redo, but then refuse to let students do it when it’s outside of the writing class. What’s with that? I will allow students to redo their work for a better grade. I’ll even help them master skills they don’t get in after-school tutoring. The hard workers will be rewarded for their efforts and move much closer to achieving the goals I’d planned for the lessons.

Note: To a person, the teachers I know who do this tell me it doesn’t add to their day. Students often redo the work on their own time or in the lab, after school, when the teacher is there anyway. They become some of the most positive, supportive students, as do their parents.

I will play music during keyboarding time

Most keyboarding tools I’ve seen don’t concentrate on pace as a factor in touch typing. In fact, keeping a steady rhythm while fingers hit the keys is critical to developing speed. In the real world, students think they should go as fast as they can, meaning speed through easy words like “as, is, and” and slow down for complicated words like “calculate”. In reality, a steady pace is one of the biggest predictors of speed in keyboarding.

Which brings us back to music. Music has a rhythm that continues throughout the song. I need to pick one that’s the right speed for my students and they like, but then they’ll enjoy the novelty of working to music.

***

I’m excited about these changes. They may rearrange my time, but it’s about working smarter, not harder.

I like that.

More about classroom management:

4 Great Alternatives to Google Classroom

18 Ideas for Warm-ups, Exit Tickets

How to Blend DoK into Lesson Plans without a Comprehensive Rewrite

Jacqui Murray has been teaching K-18 technology for 25 years. She is the editor/author of over a hundred tech ed resources including a K-8 technology curriculum, K-8 keyboard curriculum, K-8 Digital Citizenship curriculum. She is an adjunct professor in tech ed, webmaster for four blogs, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, CAEP reviewer, CSTA presentation reviewer, freelance journalist on tech ed topics, and a weekly contributor to TeachHUB. You can find her resources at Structured Learning.

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