#but i woke up feeling Rested & refreshed so i think i'm gonna work on some unfinished drafts tonight

[elliscousland]

i just took the most divine nap of my entire life.

[kpop---scenarios]

Misery Loves Company (2)

Pairing: Lee Know x Reader

Warning: Sexually Suggestive Content [18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

Word Count: 1.9k

Everything Taglist: @piscesrising01 @baby-stay92 @kisses-too-the-moon @dwaekkiiracha @rylea08 @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @satosugu4l @iovecb97 @lordmaahes-nsc @sailorkoss @minh0scat @pixie0627 @50-husbands @jinnies-muse @yaorzu-blog @joyofbebbanburg @number1jeonginstan @skzooluvr @jisunglyricist @ambersnowxxx

@wife2straykids @silly250 @tsunderelino @1810cl @anskiiz

@ayyonoona @31maze13

ONE |

“It's fine, we'll take it.” You sigh, trying to avoid eye contact with Minho. As much as you hated the idea of sharing a room with him, you were exhausted and just wanted to try to get some sleep.

“You're sleeping on the floor.” Minho mumbles as the two of you make your way to your room.

“Whatever.” You sigh, placing your key against the door to unlock it. You push the door open, dragging your suitcase inside, sighing at the sight of really only one bed. You set your suitcase on the table, digging inside to find your pj's so you can take a shower and feel refreshed.

“I'm going to shower.” You announce, grabbing your clothes and toiletries before heading to the bathroom. Minho doesn't say anything as you close the door behind you. You turn on the water hot, undressing yourself and getting into the water. It felt so nice dripping down your body. You washed your hair and yourself, brushed your teeth and did your skincare, dreading going back out into the room. You slipped on your shorts and tank top, you really didn't want to sleep on the floor but you were too tired to fight with him. You grab your dirty clothes, opening the door to walk back to your bag to put your things away. As you're walking over there you can feel a pair of eyes on you, watching you walk around. Minho lays in the bed, his arm resting behind his head as he watches a movie on the TV.

Your heart beats a little faster, butterflies fluttering around in your stomach as you search the closet for extra blankets and pillows so you can make a bed on the floor.

“What are you doing?” Minho asks, standing up.

“Looking for extra blankets to make a bed on the floor.” You say.

“You really think I'm gonna make you sleep on the floor? I'm not that big of a piece of a shit.” He half chuckles. “Get in the bed. I'm gonna go shower now.”

You run your tongue over your teeth, trying not to smile. You didn't want him to know you appreciated this because you honestly thought that you were going to be sleeping on the floor tonight. Minho goes to the bathroom, and you crawl into the opposite side of the bed, getting comfy under the covers. You watch whatever he had been previously watching as you feel your tiredness begin to take over your body. But just as you were about to close your eyes the bathroom door opens. Your eyes shoot open, darting over to the bathroom, you watch Minho come out wearing pj pants and no shirt. You hadn't realized how well built he actually was. Beads of water dripped down his abs as he used one arm to dry his hair with a towel. You unconsciously lick your lips at the sight of him, your body tingling as you watch him walk towards the bed almost as if he was in slow motion.

And then you realized you were beginning to get the hots for the shitty man you worked with and you closed your eyes, rolling over to face away from him. You feel the bed dip on the other side, as he gets under the blankets.

“Do you mind if I keep the TV on? I like to have the noise to fall asleep.” He says.

“It doesn't bother me.” You murmur, keeping your eyes shut. You were worried it was going to take you too long to doze off, but sleep came pretty easily.

You woke up, what felt like only hours later. Your head resting on Minho's bare chest, his arm wrapped around you, holding you closely to him. You sat up, glancing at the clock. It was 3am, you still had time to sleep. You rolled over, away from him getting comfy again and quickly dozing off.

The next time you woke up, you couldn't tell if you were dreaming or not. Your eyes didn't wanna open. You were warm and comfortable. You adjusted your position, wiggling your ass slightly, feeling something hard pressing against you. You hear Minho groan as you move. You scoot back and wiggled a little more, making him groan again. You can feel an arm wrapped around you, a hand cupping your breast, squeezing and playing with your hard nipple, making your clit throb. Hot breath sends shivers down your spine as it covers the back of your neck. It was like you both realized what was happening at the same time. You both move away from each other, you falling off the bed as you panic. You stand up.

“Oh.” He laughs. “It's 6am, we should get on the road.” He mumbles, getting up, and going to grab his clothes.

“Yup. We should.” You murmur, waiting for him to go to the bathroom to get changed. Once you hear the door close, you quickly take off your shorts, getting a pair of underwear and a pair of pants on. You quickly take your shirt off, searching for a bra in your suitcase. You find one, and the bathroom door opens. You turn around out of habit, and Minho stands there, his eyes staring directly at your tits. You're frozen for a split second while your brain registers what's happening. You quickly put your bra on and then your shirt.

“Don't stare.” You grumble, closing your bag.

“I'm sorry. They're very nice though.” He says, giving you a half smile. You grab your suitcase, put your shoes on and you're both off.

“Do you want breakfast here or in a bit?” He asks as the two of you ride the elevator down to the lobby.

“We can just go through a drive thru.” You say. “if that's okay with you.”

“Sounds good to me.” He says, letting you off the elevator first. You both head to the front desk to check out. You were having trouble trying to figure out what you were feeling when you looked at Minho. It wasn't your usual feeling of disgust, or hatred. But feelings of something else. Either something you didn't want to admit to feeling, or something you didn't recognize as a feeling.

The first few hours of the trip things were relatively quiet. You had gone through a drive thru to get some breakfast and coffee. Minho drove and ate while you stared out the window, drinking your coffee and eating your food. Once the two of you were a little more awake, he struck up a conversation.

“So.” He begins. “How are you enjoying the job?” He asks.

“It's good. For the most part.” You say.

“I'm, uh… you know…sorry for the shit I said in the past. I know better. I'm just an asshole.”

“Acceptance is the first step.” You giggle. “Wait, are you apologizing because you saw my tits?” You laugh, making him laugh.

“No… well yes, but also no.” He laughs. “You're doing a good job, and I didn't have a right to make those comments when you were still so new.” He admits.

“Well thank you. I'm sorry too.” You smile.

“What are you sorry for?” He asks.

“Oh, I've said a lot of shit about you, but just not out in the open where you might hear.”

“Wow.” He laughs. “You're trouble, aren't you?”

“I can be.” You smile, glancing over at him. He smirks as his eyes trail up and down your body. You can feel your blush start to spread across your cheeks. You look out the window as you hear Minho begin to chuckle. You glance over at him, seeing his knuckles are white as he grips the steering wheel. It makes you wonder why he's being so nice to you now. Was it because of last night? Because he now wants to get into your pants? If you were being honest, you wanted him to get into your pants. Your clit had been throbbing since last night and it was driving you insane.

You were very much looking forward to stopping at a hotel for the night, this time hopefully being able to have your own room, and then maybe being able to take care of yourself in private.

“Are you hungry? Should we stop for lunch?” Minho asks. You look at the clock, it was already 2pm and you two were on a good schedule, you just wanted to make it to the town you were planning to stop in and be done with driving for the day.

“How far are we from where we're stopping?” You ask.

“Like 3 hours or so.” Minho tells you.

“Let's just make it there, find a hotel and then we can get dinner.” You say. “If you're okay with that.”

“Let's do it.” He smiles.

You close your eyes for a little bit, hoping to catch a few minutes of sleep while Minho finishes off the drive. You hadn't even offered to drive in his place, he probably wouldn't have let you anyways.

“Hey…” Minho says, shaking your thigh slightly. “We made it.”

You open your eyes, surprised you had slept for the full 3 last hours. He had parked outside a hotel, waking you up for you both to go and each get a room. You get out of the car, each of you dragging your suitcases behind you as you each go up to the front desk agents.

“One room, one bed.” You say to your agent. Minho saying the same.

“Unfortunately, we're only left with one room this evening.” She smiles. “One room, one bed.”

“Not again.” You groan, looking at Minho, who doesn't look as upset this time about it.

“We'll take it.” He says, booking the room. The two of you walked down the hallway towards the room, it was nicer than the previous hotel, this one coming with a couch.

“If you want, I'll take the couch.” Minho says.

You don't acknowledge his question, Instead asking one of your own. “Should we get dinner?”

He nods his head and the two of you make your way down to the hotel's restaurant.

“Can I get you something to drink?” Your waiter asks.

“I'll take a double vodka cran.” You smile.

“Beer for me.” Minho says.

The waiter smiles and walks away, leaving the two of you to look over the menus. There's minimal talking between you two, he seemed to be a little grumpy, you assumed he was tired from all the driving he did today. But a few hours later, a way too many drinks, the two of you stumbled your way back to your room, giggling and tripping over nothing.

Minho scans the card to open the door, letting you go in first.

“I should shower.” You groan, stumbling your way to your suitcase.

“You don't even need a shower.” Minho chuckles.

“I feel gross from sitting in a car all day.” You giggle.

You hear him walking behind you. You stand up and you feel him press up against you. His fingers gently caressing your neck as he moves your hair out of the way.

“What are you doing?” You whisper.

Minho leans down, his lips grazing your ear. “I want you.” He breathes, placing his hand on your waist, spinning you to face him. He smiles down at you.

“Don't you want me too?”

[chrisgotitall]

reader trying to convince mike to take a day off of work ‘cause he’s sick and then taking care of him?? 😉

Hope i delivered well!!!

She woke up early to make breakfast that morning and she was soon followed by Mike, who approached her by wrapping his arms around her and muffling a "Good morning" into her hair.

"Morning" she says smiling.

He helps her out with breakfast. Before sitting down he turns around to cough. After that he goes to take the coffee pot to put in on the table and another cough comes out, which he covers with his elbow. It's a heavy cough and you can tell it scratched his throat by the look on his face.

"Woah... are you okay?" she asks him. Before he can answer, he sneezes.

"Okay, eat something and then you're going back to bed, alright?" she tells him.

"What? No, no, no, I have to go to work" he says back.

"I don't think so if you're going to sneeze and cough around everybody, finish your breakfast and go to bed"

"Baby, I can't call in sick at work last minute..."he insists but another cough betrays him.

"Baby, you can't go to work like that. They'll survive one day without you"

That's her final say and she wins. After breakfast he goes back to bed. The coughs keep getting worse and then he says that his stomach starts to hurt too.

"You need to rest, okay? Relax, now..." she caresses his hair because that's something that helps him drift off to sleep.

By later in the morning, a little fever started to run up so she prepared a bowl with cold water and a cloth.

While he was asleep, she rubbed his forehead with the fresh cloth. And then his cheeks, tapping lightly on his face. She felt so close to him in that moment, so protective of him. It just felt so good being able to take care of him while he wasn't feeling well.

"It's nice..." he says with closed eyes.

"Yeah? They don't do this at work..." she responds.

"No, they don't... You shouldn't stay this close to me, you'll take a fever too" he says not avoiding her touch at all but adjusting his body next to hers.

"Well you slept in this bed anyway and you touched all the things I had breakfast with so I think I'm gonna take it anyway" she says.

"Mmh, makes sense" he takes her hand and kisses it.

He sits up to blow his nose, very loudly.

"Woah" she says, "That was not very pretty of you"

He hums back to her and puts the tissue on his side table. She notices his red nose and smiles at him.

"You're still very cute tho"

"I don't feel cute at all" he says with a very nasal voice.

"You are, I swear" she then gets up from the bed, "I'm gonna bring you some water, you have to drink a lot"

She goes downstairs to bring him some water and then sits on the bed to refresh the wet cloth and put it back on his forehead.

He looks at her lovingly. She looks back at him almost unable to hold that gaze for much longer, so she downs her gaze and smiles.

"I'm gonna run you a warm bath..."

"Ok..." he answers.

Before going to the bathroom she caresses his face.

[tellmegoodbye]

Hello everyone,

Happy LONE STAR DAY!!

I have a few housekeeping things to talk about before I return to our usual Music Monday format, but I know we're all excited for tonight so I will try to keep this brief.

If you would like to check out our playlist for the countdown event you can find that here.

Since we are getting new episodes now, I thought it would be a cool idea for a new way to participate in the tag. If you have a song that you relate to the new episodes, share them with us!

Please continue to refer to this post for any new Music Monday info, or if you just need a refresher on how the tag works.

Here's a quick overview of what Music Monday is for those of you who are new here. You share your songs that you relate to the show, its characters, storylines, fanfics, etc. All songs are added to their respective playlists and your explanations are added to the docs I have created for each playlist.

Reminder: Make sure to either tag me in your posts OR you can use the 911ls music mondays tag so that I can find and reblog your contributions.

Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, onto my songs for the week!

---

Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park

I dreamed I was missing You were so scared But no one would listen Cause no one else cared After my dreaming I woke with this fear What am I leaving When I'm done here?

Don't be afraid I've taken my beating I've shared what I've made I'm strong on the surface Not all the way through I've never been perfect But neither have you So, if you're asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes Forget the wrong that I've done Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed And don't resent me And when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory Leave out all the rest

This song is a reflection on the way we live our lives and how we will be remembered when we're gone. When I think about these lyrics in the context of Lone Star, they could really apply to any character, but Gabriel is who specifically comes to my mind for this song.

To me, this is Gabriel's message to Carlos. He's spent a lot of time reflecting on his own mistakes and has struggled to express the love he has for his son, but he hopes that Carlos will remember him as someone who never stopped trying and who always strived to be better. He didn't always get it right, but he looks at Carlos and feels so much love and pride, and he wants Carlos to know that and to see that.

Zzyzx Rd. - Stone Sour

Propped up by lies and promises Saving my place as life forgets Maybe it's time I saw the world

I'm only here for a while But patience is not my style And I'm so tired that I gotta go

What am I supposed to hide now? What am I suppose to do? Did you really think I wouldn't see this through Tell me I should stick around for you Tell me I could have it all I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

I'm over existing in limbo I'm over the myths and placebos I don't really mind if I just fade away

I'm ready to live with my family I'm ready to die in obscurity 'Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go

This is a song written from the perspective of someone struggling with addiction. The narrator addresses his loved ones with a sort of brutal honesty about his feelings towards life, but it's also a song about love and support at the same time. It's about someone who is there for you even when you're in your worst moments and can't see a way out.

This song reminds me of TK and Owen in s1. Owen is ready to do whatever he has to do in order to help TK, and TK lets him in as much as he can, but these lyrics are also an realistic viewpoint on the state of his mental health in the aftermath of his suicide attempt. He knows Owen loves him and is there for him, but he still needs to find that healing outside of that support.

Impossible - Nothing But Thieves

Love, it stings and then it laughs At every beat of my battered heart A sudden jolt, a tender kiss I know I'm gonna die of this And that's because

I could drown myself in someone like you I could dive so deep I never come out I thought it was impossible But you make it possible

I'll take the smooth with the rough Feels so fucked up to be in love Another day, another night Stuck in my own head but you pull me out You pull me out

I really hit y'all with a couple angsty gems today, so I should probably round this post out with a more upbeat song. This song screams Tarlos to me, and reminds me of the early days of their relationship where everything is new and overwhelming, but it also just feels right at the same time. They've come to that realization that what they have is something special, and that they might have found their soulmate. Before they met, such a notion felt impossible to them.

@strandnreyes @lemonlyman-dotcom @bonheur-cafe @heartstringsduet @herefortarlos

Tags!

@eclectic-sassycoweyes @literateowl @carlos-tk @paperstorm @guardian-angle22

@ironheartwriter @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @whatsintheboxmh @firstprince-history-huh

@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton @sweettkstrand

@toomanycupsoftea @corsage @certifiedflower @goldenskykaysani @reeeallygood

+ open tag

please tell me if you would like to be added/removed from my tag list

[hn-yn-soo]

Her | M. MN

Fem Reader x g!p Mina x Omegaverse

Soft tunes filled the room, slender fingers reaching over the device, making a few mindless taps before it comes to a stop. Grumbles upon soft lips, you woke up feeling refreshed yet too lazy to rise from your place, especially having a familiar arm wrapped on your waist

"Love, wake up"

"No, five m-more minutes" Mina mumbles, digging her face into your neck more making you shiver. You two were pent up last night after a small argument, making it up with passionate sex which awfully works well unlike some. Mina hasn't been the softest lately but she's willing to make it up for her loved one, even if it involves spoiling her with money or endless kisses

"Are you still..mad?"

"After making me cum several times, I think not" You gently rise from your bed, scratching your neck only to hiss as it burned with a faint touch. Realizing it might have been Mina's marking on you, the lost moments had it fade until last night. You were almost to the brink of not having a mate until that certain argument filled that back

"Sana was just being touchy, she knows I'm yours.."

"Keep her hand to herself then, can't believe she almost got you marked while I'm here waiting for you to come home" You mumbled, wrapping your arms around your naked wife, kissing her shoulder were a familiar bite rests. You gently kissed on it making Mina whimper, the sensitivity of the mark made her mind go haywire, pouncing onto your laying figure like a hungry animal

"Oh? You want more?"

"Kissing my mark equals consent if I want one, so yes.. More~" Mina purrs into your neck, licking the spot of your mark made you jolt in surprise and whined as she gave it a gentle suck. Your shaking hands grasp her slim waist, your eyes dart all over her smooth, pale figure filled with marks at all spots visible to any clothing. You moan as you felt her grind against your sore entrance, your drenched slit shared fluids of your arousal on Mina's stiff rod, moaning more of the slick movements your wife made, she's an Alpha after all

"I-Inside, baby.." Mina nods at your plead, aligning herself inside, pushing slow and making sure to snuggle all of her length in until your hips met hers. She starts slow, her soft smile melting you in her gentle embrace, firm arms kept you down as she increased her pace, skin slapping echoing the room as if you're the only ones in the world

"Mhm~ I'm gonna cum soon, love.."

"Me too, f-fuck" Mina silently orders you in all fours, obeying her request you received a light slap on your butt before she slips herself back in again but kept her rough tempo and drilled deeper in your tightening womanhood

"A-Ahh, f-faster.."

"Oohh~ You're gonna make me go and fill you up, babe" Mina husks, fastening her thrusts, not missing a beat whilst she leans forward and pressed her chest on your back, feeling every inch of her on top of you.

You could only release whimpers and moans, the knot building in your stomach came to snap, leaving you convulsing in her arms as you orgasmed hard. With your flowing juices as the trigger, Mina followed and her seeds filled your womb, ending you with another possibility to have a second child

"I-I..didn't drink pills, Myoui"

"Oh shit.." Your glares were enough to make her whimper, she mutters apologies on your shoulder as her orgasm kept going, almost overflowing your pussy with her homemade essence

"Ah, it's fine.. Heejin might need a baby sister/brother"

Mina just nods, giving shallow thrusts to milk herself in, pulling out she blushed at the huge amount she had pent up inside her wife. You turn to laid on your back, sighing lowly whilst you admire the soft top kneeling between your legs cleaning the evidence of your session

"Hey, I'm not mad.. You did great"

"R-Really?" Mina frowns, and you found it cute to see her a bit guilty after sex. And the aftercare, is such a turn on for you. She maybe a freak on the streets, she's a cuddly baby in the sheets

"I'll set you up a bath-"

"We're gonna bath together, before Heejin wakes up" You sit up sore on your nether regions but Mina insisted on carrying you. She may have pampered you in bed, but in the shower after making love? You couldn't ask for more than just her, your lovely wife

You sigh at the cold streams of water soothing your sore muscles and burning marks, you feel Mina's fingers caressing your tensed shoulders while her other hand scrubbed you with a bath towel lathered in shower gel with the scent of your choice. She's quiet but she's sure she just wants you to have a quiet time and so does she, the gentle glides of the bubbly towel on your skin brought you to slumber which Mina catched to notice

After a few more scrubs over you, Mina rinses you off with the shower head making sure to not leave any bubbles behind and let the water run and remove any slippery feeling on your skin. She then dried you off, leaving you all clothed on the lounge chair before giving herself a bath and changed the sheets

"Love, wake up.. I made you breakfast, I also took care of Heejin and Nayeon picked her up"

"Oh? Did I sleep that long?" Mina nods with a soft laugh, offering her hand for you to take and you notice you two were wearing your first couple shirt in College. Surprised it fits the both of you, especially having them a bit oversized kept you comfy all over

"Thank you for the food~" You sat on your wife's lap, eating your usual breakfast which is fruity pancake with hot chocolate on the side with freeze dried strawberries in a bowl. Mina peeked over your shoulder asking for a bite, you gave her a spoonful and a few bits of strawberries long before she chewed and drank her hot coco

The silence in your breakfast isn't new, this is how you usually eat as lovers even with little Heejin around. You would often chat with her, maybe watch some movies but the quietness makes it better than anything

"Minari, can I use your console?"

"After what you did? No.." You pout, which she couldn't resist and the dull twitch of her member in her shorts was evident she has a soft spot for you

"Just this once, I can't have you throwing my baby outside the door because of Sana"

"Yay!~ Thank you Minguin~" You kissed her cheek and bounced on her lap which she grunted and stifled a moan because you were basically sitting on top of her sensitive appendage, she tries to avert her attention from your cute bottom to something much more disgusting so her arousal drifts away

Right after the two of you ate, you insisted in cleaning so she's just behind you hugging and kissing your shoulders

"Do you have any plans?"

"I'm supposed to have a meeting with Bambam but after his reckless actions in my company, no thanks" You said, drying your hands whilst Mina hoists you up on the counter, each arm beside your thighs with her doe gaze stuck on yours.. You wrap your arms around her nape, brushing her soft black hair and let her get immersed at the feeling, letting her rest her head on your shoulder she lets out a small sigh

"Well I'm glad you ditched him, I heard he's known for stealing Omegas. He plans to take my beautiful wife just to make it his toy, not on my damn watch he would do that. I'll cut that 4.5 inch of his before she even dares fucking you"

"Calm down, Sharon.. I'm always yours, they don't do me well like you do.. My good Alpha" As if Mina's like her Golden Retriever, her tail wriggles in delight with her gummy smile brightening your day. You caress her chin and she gave you puppy eyes, resting her head on your hands

"I got my world in my hands"

"I'm your world?" Mina cutely says, head tilted to the side with a pout. You gave her a sweet kiss on her lips, nodding with a huge grin

"My penguin is my world, always"

"Hehe, I love you" She says, eyes filled with genuine and love. You pecked her lips repeatedly, smiling widely. You got off the counter and led her to the living room where Mina's console had set up, sitting on the couch with the PS5 controller you played Resident Evil to pass time. And Mina laid her head on your shoulder, watching you play and struggle which seemed cool for her as you weren't a gamer until you met Mina

It seemed like hours since you reached the end, you heard subtle knocks on the door, opening it was Nayeon and Jeongyeon with a sleepy Heejin in their arms

"Come in, unnies.. It's been a while"

"Ah we won't be staying long, we'd just come by to check on you two.. Thanks for letting us have Heejin for a day, we got her fed before coming here..see you two soon~" Nayeon smiles, hugging you while Jeongyeon did the same to Mina. The couple left and Mina had the little girl inside the bedroom, laying the toddler on your bed and the two of you ate pizza before doing your night routines and head to bed

"M-Mommy, I want milk"

"Okay, baby.. Let me fetch you some" You cradle Heejin in your embrace while Mina fetches a warm glass of milk, letting the latter drink before she comes back to slumber with a small milk mustache

"Cute, I didn't know she could get food coma that easy"

"Aigoo, that might have been Momo's fault. But can't blame them, they like our kid" You mumbled, burping your kid before laying back down and Mina settled at the other side

"And now how am I supposed to tell her I'm coming up with another baby?"

"Just tell her- ow!" Mina brags yet whines at the pinch on her cheek, you laughed and gave her a kiss then the sleeping child. You admired how your wife held Heejin's hand which grasped onto her finger tight, you took your phone and snapped a photo, to be remembered when the child grows up

"After the hardworks I've had, I reached the life I dreamed of, thank you"

"You're welcome, mi amor.. I wanted to make sure we get to live our lives to the fullest, now sleep.. You're eyes had been burnt from playing too much" You nod, closing your eyes with Mina's soft smile as the last thing you saw before drifting asleep. Mina pulled the covers over the three of you, giving you and Heejin a kiss before following to dreamland

[mad-doodle-disease]

twas a rest fit for a king

???: are you sure he isn't infected? he's been asleep for days. alton s. crow: ah, i'm sure. i don't blame him for sleepin' so much, he and belle 'pparently seen some stuff. belle dama: oh, yes... we certainly did! ???: ...what exactly did you two go through, if you don't mind me asking. i'm shore it was probably really traumatic, you don't have to tell me. belle dama: o-oh! uhm... well- alton s. crow: you probably don't want to know.

a deep groan exited tumbles as he slowly woke up. his body was stiff and his head hurt to all hell, but goddamn did he feel refreshed. he slowly sat up from the couch, his bones crackled loudly with each movement, not used to the (albeit slow) movement.

tumbles: what are you guys... talking... about...?

alton, belle, and an unknown big cog all turned to face tumbles, their eyes widening a bit.

alton s. crow: well, speak of the devil! told ya he was alright, mary, just needed a liddle more sleep after all! mary?: ...i still don't think it's nessiesarily healthy to pass out and sleep for 3 days straight, even if he was apparently "recovering". belle woke up a lot quicker than that.

tumbles blinked a couple times, comprehending the quickly snuck in pun.

tumbles: who's she...? and why does she keep making weird puns? alton s. crow: that's mary anna. mary was one of the first suits who seeked out this liddle safehouse, ain't that right, mary?

mary turned away, something else clearly on her mind.

alton s. crow: now, don't act like that! we'll find her eventually, just say hi and introduce yerself to the new guy.

mary paused for a second, sighing, before relenting and approaching tumbles.

mary anna: ...yes, i was. i came as soon as the waters got deep, i was shore she would be here too. back when cogs inc was still important, my title was deep diver. nowadays, i fight infected cogs. i also help identify fish and determine if they're safe to eat. a paper hands: she also taught us that boiling water makes it safe to drink. not very helpful to us cogs, but very helpful in keeping you toons alive. tumbles: tubular, maaaan, totally tubula-

suddenly, and very unexpectedly, mary grabbed tumbles by the shoulders. she stared intently at him with feverish eyes. she pleaded.

mary anna: did you, at any point, sea a lawbot on your way here? not just any lawbot. a lawbot with curly blue hair, she usually wears a raincoat. not a shyster, she's unique. tell me you saw her, please. belle told me she saw nothing like that on the way here but please, maybe you saw something she didn't. tell me you did, please. tumbles: u-uhm, no. sorry, dude, saw nothing like that either.

mary let go of tumbles, pulling away while muttering something under her breath. belle looked away, some guilt evident on her face despite having done nothing wrong. she felt bad for not seeing anything. the other cogs and toons in the safehouse paused their work for a moment, before continuing their work. alton shrinked back a bit as well, clearly offput by mary's desperation, before quickly regaining his energetic disposition and loudly clapping his hands together one time.

alton s. crow: welp, now that y'all are both awake, i figure i better put ya to work too, tumbles! tumbles: put me to work!? maaaan, i just woke up!

alton chuckled a bit, before handing tumbles a fishing rod.

alton s. crow: unfortunately for you, i don't run this here place like that. you're awake, you're healthy, you're workin'. ya seem like a natural born fisherman to me, ya got that look in yer eye. ever since we had to put ol' freshie down, barney's had to do all the fishin' work by his lonesome. he can only carry so many fish, y'know, and we gots lots of mouths to feed! yer gonna help 'em! tumbles: PUT DOWN!?

a maroon cat toon who smelled horribly of fish, clearly barney, chimed in.

barney: i don't want to talk about it.

alton shoved a bucket into tumbles arms as well, before ushering both tumbles and barney into the elevator. he sent them down with a wave.

alton s. crow: catch lots o' fish for us and tell us if you see somethin' weird! tumbles: but i didn't even-!

the elevator doors closed, and they begun to be sent down to the outside world.

tumbles: ...get to eat.

barney sighed, before fishing (pun not intended) through his pockets and pulling out an old half-eaten candy bar. he handed it to tumbles. despite being old and half-eaten it was very filling to tumbles.

NEXT

[hackerqueen]

Another Love

Chapter 6: Cherry

Previous <-

author's note: sorry for the long break in chapters. there was supposed something else going on in this chapter, but I dragged it out as I was writing. You can expect the next chapter after the weekend. lot of love and i hope you'll like it! <3

I screwed up. I knew it when I slipped out of bed in the morning and put on my dress from the last evening. I did it as quietly as possible so as not to wake up the still sleeping hacker. How come he didn't wake up? In fact, I tried to keep it quiet, but Jake always seemed like the kind of person who never felt safe and secure enough to be in such a deep sleep.

I was already at the door the last time I looked at him. He was lying on his stomach, his arms wrapped around a pillow. He was covered with a duvet from the waist down, so that the newly rising sun shining in pink streaks illuminated his scratched back. My heart sank at the sight. I was wondering who did this to him? His entire back was adorned with scars. Some were smaller, and some were heartbreaking with their size. I could imagine how painful it must have been for him.

I thought about why I was doing this. I had to think about it alone. Without anyone's glance, advice or words. I felt overwhelmed by everything that happened yesterday. I didn't regret anything, but it still felt weird. I needed a moment to think it over and get used to it. Yesterday's emotions and anger subsided, now I had to come to terms with this feeling and wonder if I was able to forgive Jake.

Did I want to forgive him?

I gave him one more look before silently walking towards the bed. The black-haired man let out a loud sigh and then snored softly. I smiled and warmth spread inside me. I leaned in and kissed his hot cheek. Perhaps I've been doing it too long. However, after a few moments, without turning around, I left the room and the hotel building.

I walked for a few minutes, the crisp air caressing my body and hair. I thought about the whole situation. But one thought overshadowed all others. Jake lived and was whole and healthy.

Jake was alive.

Incredible relief and childlike joy filled my veins. At one point, I stopped and leaned against the wall of the building, because it made my head spin. Yesterday's anger almost evaporated and left a place for ... understanding? Of course, I was still outraged by how Jake had treated me, but I couldn't be angry with him for long. My outburst of anger was caused by suppressing my emotions. I didn't let them get to me, I lived in one pattern that suited me, completely excluding feelings. Work, apartment, casual sex. It all went away when Jake came back into my life. He broke a barrier that was deep inside of me.

My mouth twisted into a wide smile. I also felt my eyes fill with tears. But I haven't felt this light in a long time. I looked around and the world around me became... friendlier? The colors became more vivid and the air began to smell like my favorite fruit. July cherries that grew in a Californian park near my house. The last time I felt this happy was two years ago. When I was texting with a mystery hacker. I was completely different then. I sniffed, letting the tears soak my hot cheeks. I was almost levitating off the ground and almost punched myself in the face as I remembered Jake's words.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

He'll be gone in a few hours.

Could I let him go again if I just got him back?

I quickly wiped my face and turned around. I'm not gonna act like Jake. I won't let us be separated this time.

* * *

Jake's POV

I woke up and automatically knew something was wrong. The first one was the fact that I woke up fully rested. I haven't felt it in about six years. Why did I sleep so long?

Because you were with her, you idiot. And finally you felt safe.

Still without opening my eyes, I reached my hand over to the other side of the bed. It was cold. Empty.

Nothing has so refreshed me in a long time and woke me up immediately. I sat up, staring at the empty room. It was nothing new. I was used to solitude and silence. However, the silence had not been as overwhelming as this morning for a long time.

So she left.

I had no right to judge her. After all, I was the one who left her without explanation for two years. Despite this, I felt a terrible emptiness because I didn't have time to talk to her without anger. Without screaming. We parted without saying goodbye again.

I had no idea how long I sat in one place staring at the wall. The ringing of the phone snapped me out of my trance. I furrowed my eyebrows but picked up immediately.

– Hello Lily. – I greeted, and my voice was automatically transformed by one of the changers

– Is MC still with you? – she asked in a shaky voice that sent a shiver down my spine. – Please tell me she's with you.

– She's not here. – I swallowed and my palms began to sweat – What's going on, Lilly?

– There's no contact with her. I wanted to apologize, but she didn't answer which is not like her. I asked others to try too, but that didn't work either.

In the background, I could hear the muffled voices of Jessica, Dan and Hannah. But I was paralyzed with fear. The terrifying, relentless fear of losing the only person I cared about.

I don't know when I hung up, but the phone fell from my trembling hands. Her handbag, which she had forgotten to take, caught my attention. I opened it immediately, looking for something that would allow me to create a plan. I've always had one, haven't I? I never lost my common sense and cool calculation of evidence. However, inside I found only her wallet and a scarf.

A scarf that still smelled like her and her cherry perfume.

[linzsaw]

75 HARD: day one

[x] read 10 pages - Atomic Habits

[x] 45 minute workout outside - AM outdoor walk

[x] 45 minute workout inside - PM arms + elipitical

[x] gallon of water

[x] followed diet - high protein: protein pancakes, Mexican veggie bowl for lunch, protein shake, banana, brownie and nuts for snacks, and tonight's dinner included Lemon Basil Turkey Meatballs & Creamy rice

[x] took progress photo - good thing I remembered to do this after a big meal :)

[x] no alcohol - nope, and in fact I was pretty ready to give it up and didn't even drink on NYE. I had my last drink on Christmas and not sure I'll ever go back.

Today was a huge success and I'm feeling accomplished! I honestly was in a bit of a rut for the month of December after coming back from Thailand and feeling quite broke and worn out. It felt really amazing to get back into a routine again. I set myself up pretty well for this challenge. They say that New Year’s resolutions are kind of out of place because goal setting should really begin in spring, and that this is a time for rest. I fully get that and support those who are participating in a relaxing period. For me, though, I’ve always done really well when I set my goals at the top of the year. I think monthly check-ins to make sure you’re following your set goals is crucial though! I think having a visual like a vision board or creating a Mind Movie works so well. The background on my phone is a vision board I made a while back and I’ve accomplished almost everything on it. This year, I plan to create a Mind Movie and I’m really excited! If you’re not familiar, these are short videos that you design yourself to get your mind in peak 'manifesting' mode, that you watch first thing in the morning and last thing at night. The idea is to see yourself as having whatever you want now, played out in the movie with hertz frequencies in the background. The goal is to get excited about your dreams, to stop focusing on what is and envision on how you want your life to be.

Preparation

This last week I spent some time collecting recipes, I wrote down all the things I'd like to do daily and weekly, made a workout schedule and plan, and organized a system for how to realistically accomplish these tasks/goals. I also did an intention setting ceremony last night with Yoga Girl's annual podcast which I absolutely love.

On NYE my love and I went out to eat at one of our favorite Italian restaurants and I drank a delicious mocktail that had blackberry, mint, agave, and soda water. I was definitely in bed before midnight (MST) but I did watch the balldrop on tiktok live and got my new years kiss lol. I think this was another way I set myself up for success, just knowing that I did not want to start off the new year hungover. It's not worth it to me and I've really outgrown that poison.

I wondered how well I would do with the outdoor workout with it being winter, but honestly it was really refreshing to jump out of bed and force myself to get outside. The cold woke me up and it was a great start to the day. I listening to a walking meditation. The last time I did this consistently, I very quickly quantum leaped into my dream career from a very depressing job, I passed the ASWB licensing exam by a landslide, and I started my UGC side gig career which has also been quite a success! I'm seriously so damn excited to see how life can get even better than it already is.

The self-development book I started reading is called Atomic Habits by James Clear, and I can already tell I'm gonna love it. I've heard such good things about it. It's about how to build good habits and break bad ones, noting that tiny changes in your day to day life can have a huge impact on your life long-term, whether good or bad. Here's a quote from the book that stood out to me today:

"The impact created by a change in your habits is similar to the effect of shifting the route of an airplane by just a few degrees. Imagine you are flying from Los Angeles to New York City. If a pilot leaving from LAX adjusts the heading just 3.5 degrees south, you will land in Washington D.C. instead of New York. Such a small change is barely noticeable at takeoff- the nose of the airplane moves just a few feet--but when magnified across the entire United States, you end up hundreds of miles apart."

Thanks for tuning into my journey! Can't wait to see the transformation both physically and mentally.

[blindingdutchy]

lamentation | SEVEN

{peter parker x fem!reader AU}

based on All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

SERIES MASTERLIST

word count: 4,000

warnings: fluff. angst. language. not even sure why i warn for angst anymore this whole story is just angsty af

18+!!! minors stay away!

In the following few weeks, you realized two things. One: Peter Parker was definitely not subtle. The other being that you were definitely in way over your head. There was no denying the stupid butterflies in your stomach anymore, or the way you found yourself expecting his touch before it even came.

It seemed as though the two of you were like magnets; a constant tug gravitating the pair of you back to each other with an unstoppable force. If you weren't together, he was on your mind, and like he could sense you thinking of him he'd be quick to reach out in some way or another. Be it appearing at your side, all happy grins and playful eyes, or calling your phone no matter the time with his stupidly adorable stutter--Peter seemed to think of you just as much as you thought of him.

The more that you thought of him, the more that you wished you didn't. It was terrifying. You wished that you could pull away again, to push him back out of your heart and lock those iron bars tight once more, but your heart had grown selfish and stubborn. It was as if you were the one locked out anymore; the control over your feelings slipping further and further from your clutches with every toothy smile Peter sent your way.

Like a magnet, he held you in place. Oh, to be held by... You slapped a pillow over your face and screamed, holding it so tightly that your nose ached and you couldn't breath. Peter Parker was like a disease. A stupid, all-consuming, utterly infatuating disease of the mind and the spirit.

You knew that you were wasting time, undoubtedly causing yourself to risk being late for school with every minute that passed as you continued to lay in your bed, but you couldn't bring yourself to get up. Already, your mother and father both had knocked at your door on multiple occasions and questioned if you were sick, and now you were regretting saying no. It would have been so easy to avoid him if you'd just played hookie.

But, with midterms in the near future, you knew it wasn't the best idea. The realization had come to you in the night. A moment so insignificant, so mundane, but it had been as if a switch were flipped in your mind. A light was turned on, so to speak, and illuminated all the thoughts and emotions you'd been so tirelessly repressing.

Talking on the phone with Peter was like a drug, and talking on the phone to him at night was a dangerous game. Under the dull light of a crescent moon and the ridiculous teddy-bear night light that was plugged into your wall, a lingering remnant of your sister's presence in the space, your inhibitions were always low. With sleepiness your walls were always lowered, and he'd unknowingly put a fatal crack in the foundation.

You rolled onto your stomach on your bed, kicking your feet through the air like a little kid as you fought back the grin that always seemed to worm its way across your lips when you were talking to him. "So, how do you like Ned and MJ?" Peter asked, and you could almost picture him mirroring your position as you heard the quiet rustle of blankets over the line. A little giggle bubbled out of your mouth at the thought.

What a sight that would be, Peter kicking his legs to and fro like a school girl in love. "They're cool. I kinda like that MJ doesn't even pretend to hide the fact that she thinks I'm weird. I don't--I don't know, it's refreshing I guess. Ned's sweet." you rambled, and it was the truth.

Ned and MJ were easily slipping into the fortress that shielded your heart with every passing day. Somehow, it wasn't as terrifying as you'd expected it to be. Perhaps that was because they didn't harbor a secret identity with which they risked their lives every single night, or maybe it was just because you'd come to realize that letting people in wasn't so bad. Not everyone was going to die on you.

Michelle Jones really didn't pretend not to think you were weird, not even a little bit. Her blunt and honest nature was a nice change from the quiet stares that seemed to follow your every move; MJ wasn't much for staring. Rather, she boldly told you what she was thinking without any shred of doubt.

And Ned, sweet Ned Leeds, was like a puppy personified. Always happy, always smiling, and always waiting to offer you compliments when you approached. You couldn't remember the last time someone had dared compliment your hair, your smile, or your outfits. Ned made it impossible to feel anything but comfort and joy in his presence, even his awkward nature was endearing.

"I'm glad." Peter hummed, "They really like you. To be honest, though, I kinda like it when it's just us. Maybe I should have waited a little longer to share you."

There was a pang in your chest at his words. Peter had been subtly flirting with you for days now, but this was more direct. He didn't have to come right out and say it for his implications to come across loud and clear, and that magnetic pull grew stronger.

So strong, in fact, that you murmured back, "I like it when it's just us, too."

If you had just kept your mouth shut, maybe he wouldn't have been so bold as to say, "Not gonna let them steal your heart from me, are you?"

The words were right at the tip of your tongue. Your heart was screaming, never! Nobody could ever steal me away from you, Peter! Yet, your mind was racing with a million and one horrible thoughts that made you feel as though your mouth was full of mud.

The silence between yourself and Peter grew thick as it drew on, no words escaping your lead-like lips. The voice in your brain, the one that sounded like your sister yet you knew was not her, was ringing in your ears. How could you ever fall in love, when she never could? How could you give your heart away, when she never had the chance?

You took that chance away from her. You stole it. This thing, whatever the weird force between the two of you was, was all stolen time, stolen opportunities, and stolen lives.

"Good night, (Y/N). I'll see you at school?"

You whispered, "Yes." The line went dead, and you felt cold.

Those simple words from Peter, with meaning and intention that was far from simple, were all it took to send the walls, bars, and barbed wire around your heart crumbling into nothing. With no protection, no barrier between yourself and the dangers of everyone else, your mind was working on overdrive. It would have been so easy to let him in, had that voice remained quiet, and yet you were steadily building those bricks back into place.

Now, all that was left to do was to steal your heart back. When had he managed to take it from you? Had he snuck in during the night, slipping through the strategically placed cracks and weak points he'd created, and stole away with it undetected? Had he taken it that first night, without you ever noticing?

As you finally released the pressure over the pillow on your face, sucking in a shaky breathe and letting all the heavy things crash over you again, tears burned your eyes. You didn't want to push Peter away. You didn't want to be the reason he was hurt, upset, or angry--you weren't ready to be the villain in his story.

"Mom?" you called out, knowing she was lingering close by.

Proving you correct, the door to your bedroom cracked open only seconds later and your mother's worried eyes fell upon your blinking ones. She definitely saw the troubled look on your face, the tears in your eyes, yet she held back from mentioning any of it as she asked, "Are you sick, honey?"

You nodded, the lump in your throat aiding your act as you croaked, "Yes. I don't feel good."

She frowned a little, knowing that you were bending the truth of the matter. Your mother was perceptive, and with the emotion all over your face, it easy for her to know that this wasn't some stomach bug or sore throat. To your relief, though, she resigned, "I'll call you out of school for the day. I'll be in my office if you need me."

Tomorrow, you could be the villain. For today, though, you were content to avoid your troubles and wallow in your self pity. At least this way you had some time to slip back into your stoic, cold demeanor before you had to face him. Time to prepare yourself to be alone again, because you knew that once you pushed Peter Parker away, Ned and MJ would be quick to follow him.

Sleep didn't come for you like you hoped it would. Well, it did, but then you found yourself dreaming of Peter and woke with a start. School had started an hour ago, and already there were a flurry of confused and increasingly alarmed messages from him lighting up your phone screen. Even though you couldn't hold back from reading them, you locked it before you found yourself replying as if on autopilot.

Pete: are you late

Pete: i'm at your locker

Pete: hello?

Pete: i'm going to class... see you there?

Pete: are you okay? you said you'd be here

Pete: at least let me know you're aldkhdkfj

You spent the day in your room, ignoring Peter and ignoring the world. Occasionally your mother would crack open your door to check on you, fussing over feeling your forehead despite the fact that you both knew you didn't have a fever, and tittering little comments about getting rest and staying hydrated. She knew you weren't sick, yet you were grateful she didn't try to pry.

As much as you wanted to tell her all of the things that were on your mind, the reasons that you were upset, you couldn't. You couldn't tell her all of the awful things you were thinking, and see the way her face would contort in anguish over you. You certainly couldn't listen to her telling you that it wasn't your fault, you weren't wrong for liking a boy, and your sister would want you to be happy. Even if you knew, in some deep part of your brain, that it was true.

Pete: got my phone taken in calculus sorry

Pete: I'm at lunch now, are you okay?

Pete: are you sick?

Pete: like... actually sick?

Peter really was relentless. You wondered how long it would take for him to catch onto what you were doing, or if he would at all. Would he understand why you suddenly gave him the cold shoulder? Would he understand, and be okay when you pushed him away again?

Pete: I'm in speech now.

Pete: we got the class to work on the speech and you're not here

Pete: not that we could do much anyways since you're so stubborn but still

Pete: okay what is going on

Pete: (Y/N)

Pete: please talk to me

Reading all of his messages kept the ache in your chest alive, stopping the numbness from creeping back in. You wished you could put your phone down, turn it off even, but it was like a cruel an addicting game to read each message as it arrived. You found yourself watching the little three dots as he typed another message eagerly, even if he was far from happy.

When school ended, he called. You let it ring each time, watching his name scroll across your screen over and over again until it ended. Once, twice, three times--he finally stopped calling, not leaving a voicemail.

For awhile, you wondered if that was it. Was he done? Had he caught on? Had he figured you out just as easily as he always seemed to do? Had Peter given up?

Pete: i know what you're doing

Pete: i'm sorry if i made you uncomfortable

Pete: we can just be friends if that's what you want

It wasn't what you wanted, and that was the problem. You didn't want to be friends with Peter Parker. Well, you didn't want to just be friends with him. You wanted to know what his touch felt like when it was deliberate and welcoming, not the fleeting and curious brushes of his skin on yours. To be held by him, to taste his lips, to hold his heart in your hands like he already held yours--you wanted so much more than friendship with Peter, and that made you a thief and a fraud.

You: that's not what i want

You were weak. A weak, cowardly idiot is what you were, and you threw your phone on your bed with a groan as you realized what you'd done. The voice in your mind whispered insults, taunting you for being so easily broken.

Pete: what do you mean

You: i don't want to be friends with you Peter

Pete: oh

One simple word, and you realized he had taken that in a completely different way than you had meant it. Yet, you didn't correct him. You didn't explain that you meant you didn't want to just be friends. Maybe this was your chance--an easy way to kick him outside your walls without having to see it firsthand.

The chance didn't last long. A quiet knock sounded on your window, and your heart froze in your chest as you tried to sink deeper into your bed. It was the wind, you told yourself, until the knock sounded again and slightly louder. You could see the shadow on your floor out of the corner of your eye, and you buried your face into your pillow to block it out. If you ignored him, he would go away, and this would all be over.

After a few more knocks, it was silent for awhile, and you tempted a look at the floor only to frown at the sight of the shadow missing. He was gone, and you were alone again. Your lip quivered at the thought; what had you done? It was a mistake. This was a mistake.

You didn't want to push him away. You wanted him to hold your heart. You wanted Peter Parker as your friend, as more than a friend, hell, as anything as long as it was with you. But now? Going back on your word and dragging him back in again would be pathetic. He didn't deserve such treatment, especially not from you.

So, you pulled your pillow back over your face and let the tears fall. Your hot breath burned your eyes and made you feel sticky and gross, but you didn't care one bit. It felt cathartic to cry, like returning to a familiar place you'd been skirting around for ages. Crying over Peter was different than crying over your sister; the hurt was different, but one thing was the same: both were all your fault.

"Go away, mom." you whined, barely hearing the sound of your door unlatching over your muffled sniffles. It creaked further open, and you groaned, pressing the pillow harder onto your face, "Mom, please, I just want to be alone."

A throat cleared, and you froze. That wasn't your mother, the voice was deeper. The sound was still too light to be your father's, though, and that left one option that made your blood run cold. He didn't--did he?

He did. Peter pried the pillow out of your hands, all red cheeks and sad eyes as he stared at you in a sullen silence. "Why are you doing this?" he whispered, "Why are you pushing me away?"

You blinked at him, too paralyzed by the sight of his fluttering eyelids and pouting lips to speak. It must have been a sight to see you like that, your face red and blotchy, streaked with tears and snot that you'd been too lazy to wipe away. He didn't look away from your eyes, though, gazing into them with an intensity that dared you to look away.

Sensing that you weren't going to speak, he pressed on, "(Y/N), what is going on? I don't--It's okay if you don't like me back, I can deal with that. I want to be your friend, though. I thought you wanted to be mine, too."

Voice scratchy, you muttered, "I don't."

Something changed in him, and suddenly Peter was raking a hand through his hair as he frowned deeply. You wanted to smooth the crease between his brows, but you felt frozen. He was angry; he was angry with you, and he didn't hold back as he snapped, "That's bullshit, and you know it. If you didn't want to be friends, then why did you make that deal? Why did you let me make a complete fool of myself just to get your attention? Why did you let me introduce you to my friends? Stop lying to me!"

"I'm not!" you yelped, sitting up frantically and wiping at your face, finally. "I'm not lying, Pete!"

He threw his head back at the nickname, a sigh of exasperation forcing its way from his lips, nostrils flared. "I don't get you, (Y/N). I don't get you at all." he growled, facing you again with a heavy brow.

You gripped your blankets tightly, bunching them around your waist as you blinked at him with wide eyes. "I don't want to just be your friend, Peter!" you burst, "I don't want to just be your friend, and I don't know why. You make me feel all these things that terrify me, but I keep chasing after you and whatever those things are! It was so easy being alone, okay? Then suddenly you came swinging into my life and made everything so--so complicated!"

Your mother's face peered into your room, eyes blown wide in surprise, but the moment you glanced at her she backed away with a bitten smile and you flushed. You didn't get the chance to dwell on the fact that she'd been eavesdropping, though, because Peter sat on the edge of your bed and bit the inside of his cheek, blinking at you with teasing eyes.

"So, you like me?"

Eyes narrowed, you grumbled, "Are you really going to make me say it, Pete? After all of that?"

A sly grin stretched across his lips, cheeks puffing out adorably and making you bite your own to keep from grinning too. He tutted, raising his ruffled brow as he jabbed, "After everything else today? I think it's the least you could do."

You were screwed. His fingertips barely caressed the backs of your knuckles, and you shakily grabbed them before he pulled away again. "I like you, jerk." you mumbled, screwing your eyes shut as you felt your face burn in embarrassment.

Peter just chuckled, squeezing your hand as you felt your bed shift under his weight. "I don't want to just be your friend, either." his breathe fanned over your cheek, and your eyes snapped open to find his face closer than ever. If you just turned, ever so slightly, his lips would brush your own... He kissed your cheek softly, backing away with a tiny smile that you matched. "I like you a lot. Probably more than like, really."

"That scares me." you whispered, eyes still latched onto his, "Peter, you scare me."

He took a long moment to answer, weighing heavily the words he would utter next, before finally telling you, "You scare me, too, but I think it's worth it."

A gentle tapping at your door crashed through the moment, both of your faces burning a deep red as you turned to face your mother's sheepish smile. "Sorry, sorry, don't mind me--"

"Mom!" you wailed, slapping your hands over your face in mortification as she stealthily slipped into your room and dropped a box of condoms onto your dresser before racing away again. "Oh, I can't believe she--Mom! Did you really have to do that?"

Peter was laughing boisterously, head thrown back and eyes shut, though you could tell he was flustered too from the cherry red color that creeped down from his face and under his shirt. As humiliated as you were by your mother's actions, you couldn't help but to feel a little grateful for the interruption. The intensity, the tension in the air, had disappeared with the intrusion, and things felt a little bit lighter again.

You flopped back onto your bed, still pouting over the spectacle, as Peter breathed out, "That's so something Aunt May would have done, too."

At least you weren't alone in the embarrassing family department, you thought to yourself as Peter threw himself down beside you. She meant well, obviously, but did she really think that you and Peter were going to go from admitting you liked each other to ripping each other's clothes off in one night? Well, you were eighteen--maybe she had a bit of a reason to be so hasty.

"Do you think it's worth it?" Peter questioned, and you turned your head to face him, trying to ignore the close proximity of his face to your own. "Liking me?"

You chewed at your lip, listening for that voice in your head that had suddenly gone silent. "Yeah, yeah I do." you responded, and his face split in a blushing smile. You did think it was worth it, because being with him reminded you of all the good feelings you missed out on when he wasn't around. "I just wish we could have been like this before. Maybe then I wouldn't feel like I'm stealing her life."

He grew serious in an instant, eyebrows furrowing as he stated, "I don't." At the sight of your confusion, he continued, "I don't wish we met before. Can you honestly say that you're the same person you were before?"

"No."

He nodded, "Exactly. Stuff like that... It changes you. I would know, remember? You wouldn't be the you that I like, and if Uncle Ben were here maybe I wouldn't be who you like, either."

You had to admit, he had a point. "I guess so." you pondered aloud.

"You're not stealing her life, either, (Y/N). She would have wanted you to be happy, to do all the things she never got to. It took me a long time to stop thinking that way, too, but I did. It wasn't your fault, and you can't miss out on stuff just because of her." Peter advised, and you swallowed down the lump that was growing steadily in your throat, "She didn't give up her life for you to stop living yours."

Fuck, Peter really knew exactly what to say. You, however, were at a loss for words. He said all of the things that you'd needed to hear for so long, so perfectly, and it rocked you to your core. How did he know just what you needed to hear? The answer was simple--because he knew you, and he knew how you were feeling. He knew, because he had lived it.

Changing the subject, you asked, "So, what do we do now?"

You didn't have to explain for him to understand, and he swallowed thickly, "Do you... will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yeah. That might be worth it."

He scoffed, "Might be? Forget it, I don't want you to be my--"

"I want to be your girlfriend, Pete!" you cut him off, laughing loudly. "I really, really want to." So, maybe you lied when you said that Peter made things complicated. In fact, Peter made things incredibly easy--and that made it worth it.

SERIES TAGLIST {ask to be added}:

@msmimimerton @zendayasfwb @sweet-symphony @cherthegoddess @justsomebodyweird

[tinyboxxtink]

"Doppelganger" *Part 12*

I give you this my babies, because tomorrow I have tons to do and I don't know if you'll get a chapter during the day, it might just be tomorrow night after most of you are asleep. So enjoy the plethora when you can!

Also, I hope you're not getting whiplash from the twists and turns. I'm just making it as dramatic as possible, apparently.

Please still read my stuff.

Part 11

Part 13

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

[Once again top is Nevada as 'Rafael', Bottom is Rafael]

---------

You walked silently through the park while crying. You were fuming, you felt guilty, but mostly you were heartbroken. You knew Rafael didn't mean what he said, he was just hot headed. But you did mean what you said. You didn't know if he could ever get past what happened, and you weren't positive you could either.

You wanted to, but just knowing the damage was done to Rafael's heart killed you inside and how you could spend the rest of your life just feeling guilty?

You were so lost in your own thoughts you didn't notice cops running through the park towards the cave.

-------

"FREEZE!!!!" An NYPD officer yelled at Rafael as several more surrounded the cave and him.

"Okay gentlemen, I try that you're doing your job but there's been a mistake--" Rafael put his hands in the air.

"Save it, Ramirez. Barba told us everything,"

Olivia had told him over the phone that Nevada had gotten to the people at Ryker's and they had alerted the NYPD but he didn't expect them to be this fast.

"Look if you go into my jacket pocket you'll see my wallet with my ID," He assured them.

"Yeah how dumb do you think we are?" One cop scoffed. "Even my fifteen year old sister has a FAKE ID,"

"Fair point," Rafael nodded.

"Now where's the girl?" Another police officer barked.

"Girl?" Rafael’s brows furrowed.

“Barba's girl. You know it takes some balls to kidnap the ADA's fiancée, I'll give you that,”

“Wha---he DID! I just rescued her!” He insisted.

"Yeah, before you got what you wanted?" The cop asked him suspiciously.

"And what did I want?" Rafael asked.

“You wanted your boys free,” he replied.

“No HE did. That's why HE was there. Come on guys you're smarter than this,” Rafael started to take a step forward.

“DON'T move,” The cop cocked the gun closer to Rafael.

“Really then how did he explain why he was there breaking them out and not me?”

“He said you had the girl and when he brought you the boys you'd let her go.”

"What would be the point of that if we look identical?!" Rafael exclaimed in exasperation. This was ridiculous.

“You think we're gonna buy you're that stupid to walk into Ryker's completely unarmed, just because you look like the ADA?”

“No he's just that cocky,” Rafael rolled his eyes at Nevada’s ego.

“Alright enough, where is she?” The cop ordered.

“She just ran away….” Rafael realized this didn’t look good.

“Oh really? She just ran away from the love of her life, who just rescued her from an evil man?” The officer asked sarcastically.

“Yeah she--we--- it's a long story,” He sighed. If he had just kept running after you, you’d be together right now. God knows what was happening to you right now.

“Right, well you can tell it downtown,” One cop nodded to the others to handle him.

“Well fine, Olivia Benson will vouch for me,” Rafael was talking a tough game, but secretly praying he was right. Olivia would know he was himself, right?

“Whatever you say Nevada,” Two cops grabbed by the shoulders and dragged him out of the cave.

---------

You suddenly realized as you reached the end of the park that you had no cell phone, no money. You didn’t even have shoes. You really didn’t want to continue to fight with Rafael, but it seemed you had no choice in the matter at the moment. You started heading back to the penguin cove when you saw a bunch of NYPD officers surrounding the place, and after a few minutes they were dragging Rafael out in handcuffs.

You were just about to run and tell them there was a mix up, when a hand clamped over your mouth. And then everything went black.

When you woke up, you were back in Nevada’s limo.

“Are you fucking kidding me…” You muttered to yourself, but you quickly realized you were not alone. Two more of Nevada’s men that you had never seen before were sitting across from you, huge evil grins on their faces.

“Hola, mami,” One rubbed his leg up and down your bare leg but you kicked him away.

“Now that’s not very nice, mujer,”

“Especially when we brought you refreshments,” The other one pulled out the champagne bottle of mind serum Nevada had on him the last time you saw him.

SERIOUSLY?

-------

Rafael was dragged through the precinct, glares from every single cop and detective, finally reaching the squad’s room. Olivia rushed over, trying to help Rafael out of the cuffs.

“What are you doing? THIS is Mr. Barba!” She exclaimed.

“No offense, Ms. Benson, but this man is very good at fooling people, you’re no exception,” One officer told her.

“Then why did he have Mr. Barba’s phone?” Olivia asked them with an attitude. The officer’s looked between each other, not really having an answer for that. Maybe they had been mistaken.

“.....Because I dropped it when I was running for my life with my fiancé,” A voice came from behind them. Everyone turned to see ‘Rafael’ with you draped on his arm.

“No….” Rafael whispered. This couldn’t be happening again.

“Ah, Mr. Barba,” One of the cops nodded. “Thank you so much for helping us catch this guy. That’s a decade of fine police work’s worth,” He shook ‘Rafael’s’ hand while Olivia circled around them to talk to you.

“What are you doing?!” She hissed.

“What are you talking about?!” You hissed back.

“Why are you vouching for Nevada?”

“What are you talking about? This is Rafael,”

“....Seriously?” Olivia was taken aback.

“Yes Olivia, SERIOUSLY. Don’t you think I would know my own fiancée?” You gave her an offended look.

“Yeah well from what I heard, you’re not that great at it,” She smirked.

“OLIVIA,” ‘Rafael’ suddenly stepped in between you two. “This vendetta you have against Y/N has got to stop, I thought we talked about this,”

“I...she...you…” Olivia looked from him to you, her eyes searching both of your eyes for anything telling.

“Do you have any idea what she’s been through?!” ‘Rafael’ barked, you laid your head on his shoulder looking very scared and traumatized.

“Yeah, I don’t know why you’re so mean to me,” You pouted, making Olivia gag.

“Oh my god, there is no way you are--”

“We’re done here, Olivia.” ‘Rafael’ shut her up. “If you can’t tell the difference between a hardened criminal and your ‘best friend’, then clearly we’re not as close as I thought we were.”

-----------------

Inside your mind prison, you were watching all of this go down with absolute horror. How could this be happening again? How did you do this to yourselves AGAIN? What is WRONG with you? And now, now it was worse than ever because now Rafael was actually in trouble, and it was your fault.

“OLIVIA!!!!!” You screamed. You couldn’t believe out of all people, you would need her help. But here you were.

Olivia watched in shock as you and ‘Rafael’ walked arm in arm out of the station, leaving ‘Nevada’ in cuffs, with the most pitiful look on his face.

“Alright Ramirez, you can drop the act. It’s gonna get you nowhere, the jig is up,” Olivia sneered at him, with a wink.

“Olivia,” Rafael looked at her sadly. “I know you know me better than that. You know about….things that would convince Y/N that Nevada is me,” He muttered softly, looking around them.

“I know,” Olivia pressed her forehead to his. “I never doubted it was you, Rafa,” She smiled; now that you were completely out of the way, and turned against him, he needed her. For the first time, he needed her. And she was going to take every advantage of that.

“But they’re not going to take my word for it,” She sighed. “You might just have to wait it out in Ryker’s a bit while I sort this out,” She shrugged apologetically.

“Oh no, he won’t be going to Ryker’s Detective,” The mayor had entered the station, and heard the last part of their conversation.

“...Excuse me?” Olivia asked worriedly.

“For all the bad things this man has done-- murders, rapes, pillaging, for a DECADE now. No for that he’s not just going to ‘wait it out’ in a cell, wasting our taxpayer dollars. He’s getting the chair as fast as I can sign the release,”

Both Olivia and Rafael’s faces went white; Oliva fell back as if she was going to pass out.

“Mr. Mayor, please-- I understand this is a serious manner but this is a man’s life here. Don’t you want to make absolutely sure that you have the right man?”

“I’m pretty sure Miss Y/N knows her own fiancée,” The mayor pointed out.

“Well no offense to Miss Y/N but that’s how she got herself kidnapped, sir. By NOT recognizing her fiancé,”

“....I’ll take that under advisement,” The mayor nodded.

“Liv,” Rafael looked at her seriously. “Look whenever someone’s under….the influence,” He whispered looking around the both of them.

“They are still ‘there’. I know it. I know Y/N is there, she's just...trapped,”

“...I’ll see what I can do,” Olivia nodded. “Don’t take him anywhere until I come back,” She instructed a cop, before running out of the station.

---

“Nev---Rafa!” Liv came running out of the station where you and ‘Rafael’ were waiting on an Uber.

“Liv,” He nodded curtly.

“Look you’re right, I need to talk to Y/N, give her a proper apology,” Olivia looked between the two of you. ‘Rafael’ eyed her curiously, but then addressed you: “Go on baby, I’ll wait here for the car,”

Olivia took you to the side and lowered her voice so ‘Rafael’ couldn’t hear.

“Y/N, Look--” She put both hands on your shoulders. “They are going to put Rafael to DEATH,”

Inside your mind prison you let out a blood curdling scream, making ‘you’ wince in pain. Olivia stood in front of you so that ‘Rafael’ wouldn’t see, but she tried to talk to you.

“Yes, exactly. You should feel bad, because we both know that that--” Olivia pointed to ‘Rafael’. “That is NOT our Rafael,”

“Okay, ‘our’ Rafael is pushing it, Olivia,” You rolled your eyes. “But whatever-- this, this cannot be happening. My body cannot be this vulnerable. I have GOT to love Rafael more than this, GOD DAMMIT!!!!!”

You pulled at the bars until your arms felt like they were going to fall off, you sobbed until no water was left in your body. How could this be happening? How could you be failing him this hard? How could you keep hurting him like this, and now you were going to get him killed!

“Please,” You looked up to the sky, whimpering softly.

“Please, I don’t know-- I don’t know who or what is up there, I’ve never really believed in a lot. Hell I’ve never even believed in myself. But I believe in Rafael, and I believe in our love. I really, really do. And I believe that our love can beat anything, I just-- I need, help.”

Suddenly a blinding light appeared, and when you adjusted your vision, you were back in your body. You looked up at Olivia, who was apparently comforting you from another ‘migraine’. Before you could say or do anything, ‘Rafael’ came walking up to the two of you.

“Carino, our ride’s here,” He smiled at you sweetly. You wanted to vomit; But as long as he thought you were under his spell, you were safe.

“Coming baby,” You kissed his cheek sweetly, over exaggerated. You know his ‘version’ of you was over the top, like a freaking trophy wife stereotype.

“You have to get him out of there, Liv,” You whispered, tears in your eyes. "This is all up to you now,” Then you turned and followed “Rafael” to the car.

Olivia stared at the car as it drove off. How had you just...woken yourself up like that? But you were right. It was all up to her now. She bolted back into the station where they were processing ‘Nevada’.

“Ahem, gentlemen,” Olivia nodded to the officers, then the mayor. “Sir if I might have a moment,” She motioned him to the side.

“Sir, like I said you want to be absolutely sure you’re going kill the right man. And I have a way,” She told the mayor.

“Which is…?”

“Let me take him and get a DNA test,”

“A DNA test? Right now?” The mayor laughed.

“The lab doesn’t close until eight, it’s six now,” Olivia looked at her phone. “I can get to the head of the line, and you can get your results instantly. Then if it turns out this is indeed Nevada Ramirez, then you can execute him tomorrow,” She explained.

“....I suppose that is the best course of action,” The mayor nodded. “Do you think you can handle him all on your own?”

“Trust me sir, I’ve handled worse,” Olivia shook her head, showing her gun.

“Alright,” The mayor walked over to the men holding ‘Nevada’.

“Men, Detective Benson will be taking Mr. Ramirez to a genetics lab to get a DNA test, to make sure he is in fact Nevada Ramirez,”

“Seriously? Sir, come on--”

“Did I stutter, Donahue?” The mayor narrowed his eyes at the cop.

“Alright fine,” The officer shoved ‘Nevada’ towards Olivia.

“Let’s go, Ramirez,” Olivia grabbed ‘Nevada’ roughly and dragged him out of the station to a squad car. She threw him in the back and got in the driver’s side.

“Liv, I appreciate you getting me out of there, but we need to go to Nevada’s place and get Y/N,” Rafael instructed.

“Screw that, I’m proving your innocence before anything,” Olivia scoffed as she drove towards the lab.

“OLIVIA,” He emphasized.

“RAFAEL.” She emphasized harder.

“Come on, Liv I know you don’t like her but--”

“Nevada’s not going to hurt her, you know that. I know that. She’ll be fine,” Oliva rolled her eyes.

“She won’t be FINE,” Rafael pounded on the glass between the front and the backseat.

He thought about your last conversation-- your last fight. He had told you that you hadn’t been ‘assaulted’, that you ‘enjoyed’ being basically raped. And now, you were back there.

You were probably just thinking how he’d be upset, how he’d react, when really he was just scared for you. He realized none of the other bullshit mattered. All that mattered was you, and him, and the love you both shared. And that had to pull you through, didn’t it?

------------

Back at Nevada’s place, ‘You’ changed into a see-through red teddy, and waited on Nevada. You knew that you were supposed to be under the elixir, so you had to act obediently, at least until Olivia showed up. She’d show up, right?

She had to show up.

[bokuroo-squeals]

Of rough time, marriage and fears

Daichi x reader

Genre: Requested angst to fluff

Summary: After a year of being happily married, trouble seems to appear at paradise when Daichi starts growing distant.

Note: This is not the best, and I don't think I took it the right direction but it was fun to experiment with this. Let me know if there's any orthographic or grammar mistake ,and thank you for reading!!

Marriage is more than a pretty wedding and golden rings, more than a cozy house with nice plants to water. Marriage is way more than all that, so it's not surprise to have though days, fights and disagreements are not a foreign concept, but nothing of this was enough to break you and Daichi. Or so you thought.

One year into your spouse life started like a dream. Even when the road had potholes in the way, you two were mature about it and faced them together. Every morning you woke up next to the love of your life, and he held you close as if you were the most valuable thing in the world, and for a while, you thought you were to him. But months gone by taught you otherwise, because now the space between you was unbearable, like ice left too long on skin. And how it started you don't know, but you wished you did.

The first sign was Daichi growing distant, the second one was him getting in contact with an old friend, a past 'almost something' he knew since high school. And then, it was him spending more time with friends, with her, and you left alone at home to play the loyal housekeeper, the cute spouse that cleaned and cooked but couldn't enjoy dinner with the husband. So it hurt, the feeling of being left behind was slowly filling your lungs until you couldn't gasp for air normally, until the sensation was too much to handle.

The night was as normal as it could go, with you sitting on the couch, waiting for Daichi to come back home from work. Dinner had grown cold, and the clock's hands had moved so much for you to remember how long have you been waiting. Alone in a house meant for two, you couldn't help but feel lonely without Daichi, and you stop to thing briefly, maybe it's your own fault.

It's almost midnight when you hear the door open, then the shuffle of his shoes against the floor. He comes to through the frame, notices your figure and walks your way with heavy steps, Daichi's weight pulling him down in every movement of his legs shows how tired he is.

"It's late, you shouldn't have wait for me. I was out with Suga and the rest after work" he explains briefly after he collapsed next to you on the couch, finally giving into exhaustion.

The conversation ends like that.

Next time is not as peaceful

"Where are you going?" You asked again, the third time already on the week. You're tired, tired of not feeling like you still matter to him, exhausted of feeling him escape through your fingers even when he is right there in front of you.

"Another class reunion. Yuna-san..."

Your blood rushes with anger and you don't let him finish, you can't. It's too unbearable, the feeling of fury.

"Yuna-san? Another reunion? Daichi, please. You're rarely home this days, please, can you just stay with me this time?" Is not easy or possible for you to mask how exasperated you are at this point. Your husband notices the trembling of your body, coming closer to you with a tired sigh.

"We talked about this. Don't do this tonight, Y/n" with how hard he mutters it, it comes out like a warning, one that you're willing to ignore in favor of your feelings. This time is different, any patience or consideration have been thrown to the drain by you, and you are finally ready to explore.

"No! We haven't talk about this, we never talk, and that's the problem! Is always just you asking me to drop it, to leave you alone, to swallow everything inside me, and honestly, I'm not doing that anymore" He stares at you with brows knitted together tightly, a clear sign of him not approving what he takes as a tantrum for his attention.

"We'll talk when you have calmed down. Until then, I'm going out" Daichi turns to walk out, about to leave the scene like nothing, like your marriage was nothing.

Tears you didn't know were there start falling out of your eyes, dramatic style out of a lame romantic movie.

-

For him, it started with jokes and teasing from the team, making fun of him for a few laughs. It wasn't anything too malicious, a few comments here and there over his marriage life, how he was an old man now and how they were getting ready to not see him anymore at reunions or parties. Daichi could handle that, even laughing along with them, until Yamamori Yuna arrived back into his life.

There was a school reunion that he decided to attend after months of being stressed by work, just going out for some drinks and catch up with their past classmates, a night to refresh those records left in their memories from their youth. Everyone was chatting animatedly, the same jokes Daichi was used to were repetead, which he responded with an equally happy laugh. But the girl next to him frowned, her hand discreetly sneaking in a smooth motion all over his arm to get to his shoulder.

"Doesn't it bother you, Sawamura-san? They're making fun of you. " The seemingly troubled expression on her face was enough to cut his laughter.

"It's alright, I'm having fun out of it too"

"Well, it's not fun for me as your friend. Ever since the wedding you have been so engrossed on your partner, that it looks like have forgotten to be your own person, and now you're the joke of your friends". Yamamori's frown deepened even more, her pretty face painted with fake consern. She was so immersed in the little act, in her own selfish intentions, that every word sounded like authentic worry.

That conversation stays engraved on his mind more than it should've.

It's not like he doesn't love you, because he does. The band on his finger is the proof of his adoration towards you, but the fear of losing himself is powerful and big enough to overthink. Daichi starts going out more, because after thinking about it, he was closing off his friends, going out less, not answering texts, missing calls and updates from his friends.

Yuna seems to have all the answers for the questions plaguing his mind, so naturally, he hangs out more with her and his friends. Getting loose and enjoying himself with other people that's not you, because he thinks it what he needs.

He's told you before that she's hanging out with the boys and him lately, he's talked about her when you ask where he was or what was he doing. It's not like he's hiding the fact that he's been in contact with her, yet you still feel like trash when the ghost of doubt makes it's way on your heart.

-

When he returns, he doesn't expect you to be awake, thinking that you'd be on your shared bed, passed out after calming yourself. But you're as awake as you could be, with bloodshot eyes and dry tears over your sad features, and his heart pants with pain at the view. Is heartbreaking, seeing you as equally heartbroken, and us even more heartbreaking knowing he was the cause of your suffering. So he holds you, close to his heart to comfort a little what he has hurt.

"You don't love anymore. You're gonna leave me for her, Yuna" your words are tainted by anguish. An uncomfortable affirmation from your part, one that's not even close to the truth. His breathing stops and for a moment, he swears his heart does too.

"Don't say that, don't you dare say that again. I love you so much, you don't even understand." He opens up his heart with you.

Fifteen minutes is how much it takes him to explain to you all what has gotten to his mind ever since the first reunion. How he was afraid of not being him anymore, of being forgotten by his friends, of hovering over you too much.

"I'm awful, I'm the worst. My selfishness is the worst. I know, now I know. But please, you're the only one for me, I'd never cheat or leave you. The only one on my mind is you. At this point, you've ruined everything for me; love, sex, even religion. No-one can come close to whatever you do, to whatever you make me feel, I can't be tempted by anything that isn't you".

You belive him, you do. The way words spill so easily, flowing like water, can't be faked, neither can be the sparkle in his eye which you hadn't seen in weeks.

-

Daichi's path to redemption begins with being home early after work. Coming to your arms as soon and fast as he can, welcoming your warmth deep in his soul. Once again in your embrace, is hard for him to think just how much has he been missing out.

Is the kisses and hand holding, is your voice and your love what makes Daichi feel safe.

"Daichi, you have to shave" you tell him between giggles, his facial hair caressing the skin on your neck making you itchy.

"Later" he murmurs while he inhales your scent. It calms him down, it relaxes him.

Right now, he has to hold you close, love you as much as he can to make up for the bitter days he had made you suffer. Right now, you feel as safe and as happy as possible, between his arms that are your real home, beside him where you belong.

Marriage is more than just a pretty house and golden rings. Marriage is failing and hurting, with the promise of fixing whatever it needs to mend together.

[nicistrying]

Sun 19th June:

Hooooly moly I slept until 9.30!! 9 hours of sleep! But I desperately needed it. Saturday was such a long day - up at 3.30, work at 5, finished at 12, picked up engagement cards from Nanna Mary's, dropped a spare phone off at dad's for my sister, went to my sister in law's wedding dress fitting for 3.30, went out for dinner with her and her maid of honour, saw Matthew and his family for an hour, drove home and got in at 9.30pm. Literally had a donut and went to bed. Woke up at 6.30 to let Maggie out to pee but we went back to bed and snuggled and I got another 2 hours or so of decent sleep. I felt so well rested. Got up and did all the housework, walked Maggie with Matthew (had to wake them both up from their cute nap on the floor). Did some lovely yoga when we got back, and had a nice chill night watching Killing Eve and tried out my new blueberry gin. My fave coworker got me it at the end of our last shift together on Saturday 😭 I gave him the biggest hug. I can't wait to see him at the weekend already for leaving drinks I'm gonna miss him so so much.

Mon 20th June:

Another day off and the weather was beautiful!! Gorgeous walk in the sunshine with Mags this morning

Followed by a lovely catch up with my best friend. I had peach & hibiscus iced tea and it was so good and refreshing 👌

And then a surprisingly, confusingly pleasant time at the pub (!) with my dad and stepmam (!!). It was so bizarre to have nice, reciprocated conversation with them. I don't know if it was the weather or what but we all had a really nice little time reminiscing about when me and my sister were younger, the ghost in their house, dad showed us his latest work projects and we shared photos of all our dogs. It was exactly what I've been trying to get out of them for years 🙃 but usually they're too tired or hungover or drunk or distracted by their friends to speak to me. I was just lucky their friends didn't turn up and invite themselves to sit with us this one time. And that they weren't already drunk when I got there. But it was kind of sad bc they were all aww this has been the best fathers' day ever thank you sooo much for just coming and spending time with us and I feel a bit conflicted bc yes it was great and I enjoyed it and I'd love to do it again but I just know it probably won't happen again bc so many things had to align for it to be a nice experience today 😬 so idk tentative optimism I think is the plan. I'll go over again kind of soon and see how that goes and if it's back to the usual I'll be taking a step right back to where I was before, only going over when I have to 🤷🏼‍♀️ rant over. Hope everyone is well and had a good start to the week!

[generallybarzy]

hey there, stranger. vi

one, two, three, four, five

an: two months after you first met mat, you’re back in the same little coffee shop, in much heavier moods than last time. // So after last chapter, i'm sure you're all upset about what's happening to our favorite cute new couple. What began as a cutesly fluffy fic is turning into something a lot more serious and tough. Because all relationships come with hardships, and working through them together is something they're gonna have to do. Another thing, please comment and send asks about this story!! Even though this isn't the biggest fic I've planned so far, I'm putting all my love into these characters and their situations hit close to home, and I'd really appreciate some feedback.  warnings: mentions of domestic problems and violence (mostly verbal and mental), relationship doubts, talks of fear and self-worth tagging some lovely people:  @sunflowertimothee @deleausvp @dunnwithlyfe @smit41 @softboybarzal @fallinallincurls @matbaerzal @brokeninsidebutnobodyknows @hockeyhughes11 @folkloreflyers @nazdaddy word count: 2.3k  

You hadn't always been afraid of love.

But maybe you had, for as long as you could remember.

It began with your parents. They were unhappy, they argued, they fought, they pulled others into their arguments and eventually drew so far from each other that they were distant and cold to even their children. They seperated, violently and in the dead of the night, in the middle of your school year, and threw your life into a rollercoaster. It scared you. Made you feel, even as a young kid, that love just wasn't something that happened. Relationships didn't exist, love didn't exist without violence and arguments and fights. A perfect love was just not what you believed in. And even though it's true that every couple has their arguments, you believed that the fights were common. The yelling, the jealousy, the coldness, the raised voices, the fear. 

The last time you truly, honestly were in a relationship, it was your highschool sweetheart. If he could be called that. You were 17 when you got together, you got in trouble together, turned 18 together, and graduated highschool together. He started out amazing, as amazing as teenage boys could get, but somewhere along the way he changed. But looking back now, you could never truly call him your sweetheart, even at his sweetest. 

While you were studying endlessly to graduate high school with honors and applying to all the colleges and scholarships you could, your boyfriend was out partying and drawing further and further away, turning cold and careless. And though you hadn’t found out until afterwards, your boyfriend had spent the last six months of your relationship sleeping around with countless other girls behind your back. You didn’t find out until a sweet girl came forward and told you what he’d done, and that she was sorry and didn’t know he was taken. 

“He’s not, not anymore.” 

You found more proof. He didn’t even try to hide it, but you were too busy with school to notice all his tagged posts on Instagram, all the pictures of him openly kissing other girls while you foolishly had his name and a heart in your bio. You felt humiliated. When you finally confronted him, he laughed. As if he didn’t care that you found out. As if he was proud. “Maybe,” he looked at you with absolute lack of care in his eyes, “Maybe if you weren’t so fucking prude and put out a little more, I’d still care about you!” 

The only thing you did right in that relationship was to break it off right there. You’d think, after saying he didn’t care about you, he’d leave. But even after you walked out that door for the last time, his number was one that constantly popped up on your phone. “Wow, running away like always, huh? Fucking bitch.” “No wonder no one wants you” “Always such a clingy bitch but never wanted to fuck. Maybe if you would’ve slept with me I wouldn’t have to find other girls to satisfy me.” “You did this to yourself.” He’d send you pictures of himself with the other girls, taunting, saying “This is what you’re missing out on.” He’d flaunted the fact that he cheated on you, as if wanting to humiliate you. As if it’s what you deserved.

And, for a long time after it ended, you believed him.

Did you think Mat was like that? Deep down, no. But something made you fearful to open up to any man ever again after what happened. You’d truly loved someone, as blind as you were, and it all blew up in your face, and now, you were convinced love only ended with a broken heart. 

Mat sat across from you now, in this familiar little coffee shop, his eyes heavy and his brows furrowed in worry, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he watched you. His hair was the same as when you woke up tangled together this morning, dark and unruly after his morning skate, and he sat with his big hands resting on the table, just inches from your own, playing with his fingers- a nervous habit that you realized as of late and loved. Watching him scratch his wrists and crack his knuckles and fumble with his fingers was a strange sort of calming, and made you want to hold his hands in yours and kiss each joint and feel his skin against yours in that wholesome, comforting way. But he didn't reach out. He thought he did something wrong. He thought he ruined your relationship. He thought it was his fault. 

“That's not how I imagined our first morning together would go.” He gave a sad smile, always one to try and lighten the mood, while his mind drifted to the daydreams he had had of waking up surrounded by your warmth and your arms and getting to kiss and snuggle into you before practice. He had always dreamed of that. The softness, the domesticity, it's what he craved. But before you could find the words to make it right, his voice dropped and shook. "So, our first 'talk', huh? What did I do?" 

You couldn't find the words, and you just dropped your gaze to the table. His sad eyes made you feel so bad. "I'm so sorry, Mat."

"Why'd you run off?" The fear in his voice was enough to make your throat squeeze tight. He shouldn't feel this way. You really didn't deserve him. 

"I just…" your mind raced to find an explanation for yourself. "I freaked out." 

"About what? Help me understand. So we can fix it. Let me fix it, please." You looked up again, thinking you owed him at least your attention. His hazel eyes were glossy and as beautiful as always, searching yours for an answer, any answer, and you wanted nothing more than to tell him how amazing he was, to tell him this wasn't his fault. Someone as amazing as him should never feel pain. But you knew you had to open up to him.

"Listen." You reached your hands out on the table, centimeters from his own, and stopped just short of his fingertips, focusing your eyes on the smooth surface of the table. "You have so much love in you." You began. "That's one of things that I asked Rebecca for, remember? A big heart." You glanced up for only a brief moment to see his lips turn up a bit. "I need someone with a big heart, and I thought I could handle it right now, but…" When you trailed off, Mat spoke up softly, carefully, hesitant to interrupt you, but desperate for an answer.

"You can't handle me? Am I too overwhelming? We can slow down, even back up  if you want-." 

"Mat-" 

"We don’t need to hang out as much as I’ve been trying to-”

“-Mat-”

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry for interrupting you. And for being overwhelming."

There was no hint of sarcasm in his voice like there was in your exes, not judgement, no daggers, only pure care and genuine sorry. He hadn't raised his voice at you once, hadn't yelled at you for leaving a cold, empty hole next to him this morning like your ex would have. You found it refreshing to have a man speak to you so calmly, so gently, and carefully, and you realized that the last thing Mat wanted to do was mess this up. 

And you felt the same.

He was quiet now, after his little outburst, waiting for you to say anything. "Maty," his eyes shot up to yours at the sound of his nickname leaving your lips. You chose your words carefully, as carefully as Mat handled your emotions, as if one wrong word could shatter something amazing. "You're not overwhelming. You're amazing. It's me, it's my fault I can't handle it." There it is, Mat mused to himself, The 'it's not you, it's me'.

"No, don't say that..."

"Listen…"  I've been hurt before. I'm sure you have too, but I got messed up." Mat let out an upset little huff, his eyes going even more soft and watching you gently, as if he wanted to make it all better and erase any memories of pain from your past relationships. "The only other guy I was ever seriously with… he made me feel like shit. Like I'm… unworthy of love."

"You're not." He spoke up fast, urgent, but delicate.

"I feel like I don't deserve how amazing you're being."

"Stop, (Y/N), please. Just shush." Mat shook his head, absolutely heartbroken you hear your confession. "I know what it's like to be hurt, shit, do I know. But you deserve so much better than any of your exes have given you. I know that."

Your throat was suddenly tight at his reassuring words. "He hurt me, a lot. I'm still so broken because of him. He humiliated me, made me afraid. Of men, of relationships, of love. It hurts, Mat… It hurts to try and love again when I've loved so hard and only known broken ends. It's hard for me to trust people, and it's so, so scary to jump into a relationship like this." You glanced up momentarily to meet his gaze, feeling absolutely embarrassed to be spewing all of this dramatic sob-story to him.

"You're not…? (Y/N), baby," he whispered, shaky, as if it might be the last time he called you that,, as if by tomorrow you'd be nothing more than strangers again.. "You're not… breaking up with me, are you?" Before you could respond, Mat continued one, as if he didn't want to hear the answer that he automatically assumed would be bad. "If you are, if you need some space or some time away from dating, that's alright, I'll respect that. But I think we can work this out. I'm willing to try." 

For a second, you imagined going back to being single again after everything Mat had given you. You would never be able to forget him, forget what was, and what could’ve been. So you shook your head. 

"No, Maty. I don't want to break up." 

"Fuck, oh, thank god." He finally smiled, releasing the breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding all day. 

"The reason I freaked out so bad this morning, it wasn't the kiss, not really the cuddles either. I enjoyed those, even though they were a little awkward, being our first time and all…" you shared a little smile at that, at the memory of the first time you'd curled into each other and giggled and squirmed and talked, the most intimate moment of your relationship so far. "I like being with you, I just freaked because…. Well, Mat, I don't even know if you remember, 'cause you were asleep, but last night you said you love me."

It was a few long, quiet seconds, watching him process it in his mind, the look in his eyes going even more worried. His eyes widened as he sighed a nervous breath of air. "Shit, I did?" He reached up for a moment to scratch the back of his neck and his cheeks went a little red as he scrambled for his words. "I, uhh, heh." He let out an awkward, forced laugh. "I didn't mean for you to know so soon. I'm sorry." 

"You don't need to be sorry about how you feel."

"Yeah, then neither do you." His fingertips grazed over the cool surface of the table and up to your warm hands, slowly, carefully, asking for permission. When you didn't flinch away or tense up, you felt his hands cup your own, and there, cradled in the palm of his hand, you felt okay. "You don't need to feel bad about panicking at that. That's a big thing I said, even I can understand that. We can back up a bit. Maybe I'm pushing too hard to force feelings. Let's just take it easy, alright? Just hang out casually a little longer before calling this a relationship. Just see where things go. That sound better?"

You shook your head, and Mat's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, wondering what else he could suggest. "No, Mat, I'm not suggesting we step back from this relationship. I still want to be with you, I promise. I still want to be your girlfriend." 

His head dipped down shyly as he grinned at the table, still overjoyed at the thought of being with you. "I still want to be your boyfriend." He squeezed your hands in excitement, in content.

And you squeezed back. 

"Good." 

You knew Mat wouldn't kiss you, not before having that conversation about your boundaries, so you lifted his big hand to your lips and pressed a little kiss against one of his knuckles. He watched, his eyes wide and a content smile on his face, and slowly brought your own hand to his lips, reciprocating the appreciation. 

"Well…" he spoke gently, lips moving against your skin. " Then what do you want to do? Continue as we were? Slow it down a little?" 

"Just a little. I just needed you to know what you're dealing with with me. How scared I am to try this out again."

"Baby, we've all got our histories. Trust me, I would know. We all need different things in a relationship, okay? I'm not going to judge you for them. If your heart needs to be handled carefully, I can take it." 

"Thank you." 

"Can I kiss you?" 

"Please." 

And so, he leaned across the table and cupped one of your cheeks with a big hand, his fingers still tangled with yours, and pulled you into the sweetest, gentlest kiss you'd ever felt. From the moment you brushed noses, a smile lit up your face. And in that kiss, you could feel his promise. That he'd treat you better than your exes, that he'd give you what you deserve, gently, carefully, and with your heart in mind. And you brought your hands up to trace his jaw, promising the same thing back.

"So," he smiled as he sat back down, cheeks pink from the kiss. "That last thing I want to do right now is rush this, but I uh, I got you a ticket for our next home game. Call it an early Christmas present. I was planning on introducing you to my friends afterwards, but I feel like you're not ready for that." He smiled, showing you that it was no big deal for him. He was adaptable. If you needed a change, it was easy. "It'd mean a lot to me to have you there, if you want to come?" 

He still wanted you there with him even after you showed him just how broken you were. And you still wanted to be there, support him, share the passion he had for hockey. Watch him do what he loves.

You smiled, your thumb drawing gentle hearts on the back of Mat’s hand.

"There's nothing I want more."

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

[bepatientandpersistent]

Today has been great! I woke up at 8, which is early for me not having an alarm set! I had been planning on cleaning off and spraying down our driveways because they have collected dirt and grass clippings and junk, and I was really ready to get started as soon as I woke up! Not sure what happened for me to feel so refreshed after having such a draining week, but I love it! I got up and took down some old mini blinds in the living room that we've been meaning to throw out, then actually cooked breakfast, ate, and then got started outside. I moved all the stuff that has collected out there, put it away, picked up the trash and moved the rest of the chairs that will stay out there, out of the way, then finally started getting the water hose hooked up. We don't have an outside water hydrant so I tried to hook it up to the washer water thing, whatever it's called, but it kept leaking when I turned it on. I tried a few times then gave up. I finalize had to completely take the kitchen faucet off to hook it up there because the hose wouldn't fit on the end of it either... But it was still leaking. Turns out the seal was missing. So I went and got that and ran a few more errands. Got home, got the hose hooked up again, it worked. Now I've spent the last 1.5 hours standing outside washing off the driveways. It's like a 15x25 concrete pad that is covered only like 30% by shade. So hello tan 😂😊. Now I'm waiting for a notification/text that my new pool is ready to be picked up!! I think in gonna go wash my car at the gas station while I wait..