#but i wasnt quite expecting this level of engagement! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

halorocks1214 · 5 years ago

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the law of action

AO3 Link

Word Count: 10100

Summary: The Law of Action must be applied in order for us to manifest things on earth. Therefore, we must engage in actions that support our thoughts, dreams, emotions, and words

Previous Parts (in order): Alan | You are here! | Virgil | Scott | Gordon

these just keep getting longer fellas i dont understand how thats possible but it is. ALSO: REMEMBER IN ATTRACTION WHEN I MENTIONED THAT THESE WERE BEING WRITTEN OUT OF ORDER. HA, UH, KIND OF AN UNDERSTATEMENT I GUESS. but its here! johns pov chapter! im pretty satisfied with it, albeit a few kinks i wasnt really able to work out, so i hope you enjoy it too!

thanks again to @gumnut-logic for the prompts! "Where?" and lightning were this fic's choices. sad to see the last ones go away, but this was still a blast so thank you once more! also, just because the prompts are gone doesnt mean this series will be too ;3

Anger was a rare emotion for John Tracy.

It had to be. When dealing with the cold hard truth of data telling them something wasn't possible or dealing with annoying people who thought they knew better than him or dealing with people panicking in his ear because nobody expected the aftershock of an earthquake to be that bad, he didn’t have a choice. There were a lot of deals in life that had to be made and someone needed to play peacemaker, even if it wasn’t deserved.

It was true that he got the least angry out of his siblings, even compared to Virgil. Virgil might not get necessarily violent like Scott did, or threw caution to the wind like Gordon, or, hell, pulled off whatever John does when someone somehow manages puts him in a bad mood, but Virgil did get angry quite a lot. He just didn’t have as many blatant ways of showing it. John, on the other hand, didn’t have a lot of ticks. Pet peeves, definitely, John was no stranger to annoyance (especially with siblings like his), but not outright anger.

That didn’t mean he never got angry. He was Tracy born and bred, so that meant one the few ticks he did have surrounded the topic of family.

Specifically, his family being threatened.

John wished he was the youngest sometimes. That meant he could say things like let Scott punch the idiot already, he’d be doing the world a favor, and not get lambasted for the immature response. It also meant he could throw tantrums to hell and back and not feel like a total loser.

Like right now for example.

“EOS, I swear, if you don’t open the elevator door for me--”

“No, I won’t.”

Unbelievable.

Groaning and rubbing his face, his hands found their way up to his forehead and through his hair, holding his bangs out of his eyes for a moment. His eyes had many emotions in them, the most blatant being this shit cannot be happening right now, “EOS, do you know you’re amazing? I don’t think I’ve said that enough.”

EOS whirled for a moment, “John, I’ve seen that grin on Gordon. I cannot believe you would stoop that low.”

The grin she pointed out fell flat off his face, “Yeah, okay, you’re right about that--”

“Like I always am.”

“--So thank you,” John was going to strangle whoever defined sass so thoroughly in the dictionary. It left a bad example, “For the reminder, but seriously, I need to get up to ‘Five. It’s… important.”

It’s been a week since Alan was taken.

They’ve exhausted all options.

The only thing that could possibly get him back to them had to be International Rescue’s resources.

But EOS over here wasn’t getting the memo. Her words had that hint of childish innocence behind it. In that way that said there was no innocence whatsoever and she knew exactly what she was doing, the little shit, “John, do you really need to, or do you want to?”

There’s the inflection that John taught her. An inhale through the nose and… Uuuugghh, “EOS, I know the difference between needs and wants, this is definitely a need.”

Another lens blink, another moment of disbelief, “It seems like you have a lot of needs, John Tracy.”

John grimaced and ground his jaw together, mumbling his grievances with the current situation, “Yeah, well, if there’s any trait I truly share with my siblings, it’s that we’re all high maintenance.” His next words were more clear and designed to get the point across, “EOS, I’m not kidding, unlock the door.”

EOS stood her ground, “John, you going up there is one of the most detrimental things to you’re health at the current moment. I won’t let you.”

John threw his hands into the air, “EOS, there’s are whole lotta things that are currently detrimental to my health currently happening, one more thing won’t hurt.”

EOS lens shuttered again and John felt like it was nails on a chalkboard, “You have a point, but I’ve seen you with Scott when he’s in a similar mood. Don’t you tell him he needs to take a moment and think when he gets like this?”

John groaned as quietly as possible. Not too loud, but loud enough that EOS hopefully got the point, “Yes, I do, but I’m not Scott. We are two very different people, you have pointed this out numerous times. We have different ways of handling things, this, and ‘Five is exactly how I can fix this problem.”

That was not how he should’ve worded that. Her lights flickered in sympathy, sympathy, and he knew she finally figured out what John was trying to get at, “John, there may still be a lot I have to learn, but at least I understand--”

“No, EOS!” John snapped before he could help himself. Before she could finish explaining her point of view that was most likely right, but his desperate brain didn’t want to hear it. His brain that was running on zero energy telling him this was taking too long, fix that, “You can’t understand!”

Just like that, John was reminded of why he hated getting angry.

As soon as the words left his mouth, so did the air in his lungs. Through sheer will and determination, the only thing that didn’t leave his body was the little amounts of food he ate over the past seven days, though it really wanted to. He became very pale, and EOS could detect the not-so-trace amounts of fear that fell over his eyes.

Dammit, you idiot. Months upon that past year of work were now going to go down the drain because you blew your lid just this once! First, the call with Alan, now telling the one thing that could kill you in your sleep she’ll never essentially be good enough was--

“I know, John.”

His food came back with a vengeance, but he was bullheaded as hell, and he already caused enough damage. The last thing anyone needed was to clean up vomit. It would’ve been nicer if she got angry at him. He could handle being thrown out into space. He couldn’t handle EOS admitting he was right, least of all over blatantly cruel words.

He channeled the energy his stomach wanted to use into weak words, “E-EOS, I…” What the hell was he supposed to say? Sorry surely wasn’t going to fucking cut it.

Well, whatever he wanted to cut didn’t come up, as EOS continued as if John wasn’t the worst thing on the planet, “I’ve been doing some reading. I understand that I’ll never really understand certain human-based things like you do. You, humans, have gotten close, me being one of the better examples, as long as that’s not considered bragging, but even I’m not at that level yet. But I do at least know you and your habits. I put up with them on a daily basis.”

Because if there’s anything else John needed to fail this week, it was the one promise he made to her. His promise to keep her safe, to make sure she wasn’t treated like a mindless robot by some crazy scientists ready and willing to cut her circuitry wide open like a middle-school science project. While he would never even get close to being a quote-on-quote crazy scientist, never in a million light-years, he surely didn’t follow that middle part of his promise, “EOS, listen, I--”

“Please, John,” and now she was pleading, thinking he was going to ask to use the elevator again. Thinking he wasn’t going to give up, even after all of that. John might’ve laughed if it wasn’t his fucking fault, “I’ll help look for more options if it means you’ll stay here for a little while longer. You should stay with your family. I know how they affect you in those positive ways that you currently need.”

John was abruptly aware of his heavy, almost wheeze-like breathing. If he wasn’t careful, it could delve into one whopper panic attack, which would be so great right now, “Y-Yeah, okay. They probably won’t understand the effects of gravity over an elongated period of time like I do, so I can stay and help with that, at least. Thank you.”

As John turned around, he heard EOS whisper to herself. He could blearily tell it was actually fondness that filled her vocal waves for once, but it still stung regardless, “Idiot.”

Yeah, he really was, wasn’t he.

As he helped look over his Dad’s med-scan with Virgil, when Virgil went looking for something on the other side of the room, his father whispered, “I know this is a bad question right about now, but, is there anything we can do for you? Maybe even I? You look dead on your feet.”

John could only reply to the first half of his father’s statement with a meek, “I don’t know anymore.”

---

16-year-old John Tracy was seated atop his roof, making sure he got the perfect view of the Big-Dipper.

He was hoping to spot a more exciting constellation when he first used his new telescope, but dangit! He was just so excited to get cracking right away! He just got back from his birthday party, Alan and Gordon snoozing in their rooms while Scott and Virgil secretly finished off the cake. That was okay. John was too busy focusing on his new expensive toy to worry about having any more sweets.

His dad could pull some strings when it counted.

Newest model. The only other people who have this baby are scientists at NASA. Happy birthday, John. Sorry I didn’t get you a car like Scott.

Fuck cool cars. John would be on cloud 9 for days with this thing. Scott would call him a nerd for it. Jokes on Scott, he couldn’t zoom about 10 thousand miles into space now, could he?

Right as he nailed it, the world shook. Large arms snaked around his waist and he involuntarily found himself giggling at the contact. As soon as those limbs let go, he blushed at his reaction and cleared his throat. Suddenly, the arms were an entire body sitting down right next to him, speaking with their ever-comforting burly voice, “Hiya, son, I see you just couldn’t wait, huh?”

Rolling his eyes, John turned back into his serious, analytical self once more, “Yup, this thing’s crazy. I’m glad I got out here as quickly as I did.”

Jeff simply grinned. John was always reserved, but Jeff was a good translator for all of his sons, and he could tell that John meant this is one of the best things in my life holy crap, “That’s great to hear. The look on your face when I brought this out of the closet was certainly good enough to last me a few lifetimes.”

John snorted, “I bet it was. I heard Gordon joking about it with Alan. I don’t think I need to see any pictures anymore. I have a pretty good mental image of what I looked like.”

Jeff smiled and sighed, “No kidding. “Like a goldfish with a broken jaw.” Not the most eloquent, that Gordon is.”

Laughter rang out throughout the roof, followed by a few moments of silence. Not awkward, but not really welcomed on John’s part either, “Do you…” Stop it, John, you’re asking for too much, “Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

Jeff tilted an eyebrow, “Oh, is it? I guess you would know if something were smart or dumb, so I trust your judgment.”

Dangit, Dad, why are you so manipulative, and why are you so good at it, “I don’t know. I’ve established I wanted to be an astronaut, right?”

Jeff nodded, “Mmhmm.”

John, for some reason, felt like he needed to tread carefully, “You are also an astronaut. If there was any way for you to be able to… could you… could you come up with me the first time?”

Jeff blinked in shock, and before his son could register that as disapproval, “Huh, well, that’s certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Now it was John’s turn to blink, his mouth gaped, “Wait, what? Are you serious? Aren’t there rules for this kind of stuff?”

Jeff shrugged, his shoulders clearly saying rules shmules, “I’m also one of the biggest entrepreneurs on the planet itself, and one of the most renowned ex-astronauts there are. You would not believe the lengths people are willing to go to kiss my ass. Would you feel better if I pinky promised?”

John’s nose scrunched, “You can never truly promise anything, you know.”

His father chuckled, used to his son’s antics. John was reserved, remember, “Well, you boys always credited me with doing the impossible.”

John continued challenging him, “When we were all less than 10, yeah, sure. I think Alan still thinks you can breathe in space. You. Specifically. No one else. I think he said you only wore the helmet to “protect your secret so the evil movie scientists don’t take you away.””

Chuckles turned into laughter and a clap on John’s shoulder, “Well, glad to see I still got the magic touch at least.” That same arm that playfully smacked him was now wrapped around his shoulders, “Just you wait, Johnny boy, if I can’t get on that ship with you, then you bet your ass I’ll at least be the loudest one cheering in the crowd.”

Then, suddenly, John was right, like he always was.

A promise that never should have been made: broken. A wish never fulfilled.

Dad was swallowed up by the very thing John loved.

No more space stories, no more fun moon facts, there was a void in John’s life as big as the galaxy itself, and he wasn’t sure how to walk around it, or God forbid even into it.

He tried to be the healthy sibling about it. He tried so hard. Getting through high school quicker than most so he could just worry about his family. Scott and Grandma were doing their best, and in so many ways, it was enough, but even they couldn’t bear all of the stress themselves.

But then his high school graduation came and Grandma gave him one of the biggest hugs of his and her life and he realized that he would never get one from his father again. His mom leaving this world was already bad enough, but at least his dad was there and knew how to fill in the gap after years and years of his marriage with her. You didn’t marry a woman like Lucille Tracy and not fundamentally understand how the gears in her brain turned lest you were truly insane. Maybe Dad was. Certainly would explain a lot of things from John’s perspective. Certainly would explain why she married him in the first place. Crazy attracts crazy.

Regardless, the one thing closest to his mom’s warmth and care was gone, and if he spent the night of his graduation party quietly sobbing his eyes out while the others slept, well, then he was glad they kept snoring.

Try as he might, he became just as unhealthy and unbalanced as the rest of his family, but he was more subtle about it. His self-destructive ways weren’t bad if other people had them, but when it came to him, oh, he knew it was the worst thing he could do in terms of recovery. That’s probably why the rest of the family didn’t notice (Good). John was smart, he would know better. Yes, he did, which is exactly why he dived headfirst right into it all.

Focusing on college, getting up into the star-filled void closer to his dead relatives as quickly as possible, focusing on the here-and-now to make sure this shit didn’t happen again. Making sure no family went through what theirs did.

And maybe that’s why, why he couldn’t handle the touch of others wanting to comfort him. Because it reminded him too much of what they used to have, of what they used to be. Too many hugs and kisses from others might wash away what his mom’s and dad’s felt like, and out of all the things they could potentially lose from this, those were the worst possible ones.

John was a Tracy, which meant he was stubborn.

He wasn’t going to lose the last few things he remembered about his parents if he could help it.

---

It had been just under a month, and John finally got what he wanted.

And it wasn’t working like he thought it would, if at all.

He’s been on ‘Five for three days, and for just a fleeting moment, it washed away any uncertainty. He felt back in control, if only minorly, and he held the world at his fingertips once more. Too bad the world he wanted to fix was so far away it felt like it was on the other side of the frickin solar system itself.

He promised his family four days at most. Please, just one chance. We won’t know unless we try. He wasn’t sure what cracked them first, them coming upon dead end after dead end, them finally seeing reason behind John’s argument, or if they just got annoyed with the space monitor after endless nagging and relented like tired parents.

The tiny part of John’s mind that still allowed him to joke kinda hoped it was the third option. “Easy child”, pfft. John’ll show them.

Right, right, a clear head, the most focused of IR, he can’t get unfocused or go too far off track. He’s saved many lives throughout his life, all of them thanks to his level head, but right now, he was arguably saving the most important life of all, so that meant he had even more incentive to stay focused.

In fact, he was so focused, he jumped at the sudden, feminine voice filling the room, “John, I found another article I think you would like to see about most common places criminals… John?”

Crap, he was halfway into the fetal position. Slowly uncurling, John nodded, “Oh, thank you, EOS. I’ll start reading it shortly.”

The noise of her lens adjusting sounded throughout ‘Five again, “Of course. Let me know if you would like me to start searching for a different topic, though. There has to be a limit to how many “You wouldn’t believe this” articles one can take, and I think I’m finding it really quickly.”

For the next few seconds, John was suddenly filled with a rush of determination he had been trying to get after their little confrontation in front of a locked elevator door to ‘Five.

She had been helping him out so much the past couple of weeks. Running unnecessary tests for him, searching parts of the web only she could search without getting tracked by some secret mafia, letting him know it was okay if he couldn’t get everything right the first time when two months ago she snapped at him for getting a simple algebra equation wrong due to lack of sleep. She had been especially patient with him recently, even after their little spat in the hangar, and John wasn’t sure how to process it. A tiny part wanted to resort to anger again because he clearly didn’t deserve her, but the more prevalent parts preferred something like depression or even apathy.

She had been making sure his world didn’t spin off its axis, and John couldn’t even tell her sorry until now.

“EOS, I’m sorry.”

She stopped moving, turned around and let her lights blink yellow for only a moment, “For what, John?”

The man in question waved his hands around in front of his face, lost, confusing her more. With a sigh, he explained, “For a lot of things, but mainly from a few weeks back when we had that argument. I said something that wasn’t okay, and I didn’t have the balls to own up to it until now. So, I’m sorry. I crossed a line I shouldn’t have even been near.”

For a little bit, it was quiet. John waited as the A.I. contemplated his words. Then, she spoke her judgment, “Well, I know you are. You haven’t exactly been working off your butt over nothing, right? Plus, reliable sources say one of the ways guilt manifests is anger. I’ve seen that with the rest of your family. It would make sense yours would too.”

John blinked. Part of him was expecting her to not fully understand why he was apologizing, but the other wanted her to just so he could get over this, just so he could let go of even just the teeniest amount of guilt he had, “EOS, anger isn’t a valid excuse. What I said was wrong. I don’t believe those words and you shouldn’t either. The whole point of this partnership is to show you that there’s more to life than just calculations and probabilities. It’s kind of hard to see that when the one person who promised to be different went and screwed it up anyway.”

John hoped EOS was at least questioning things now instead of letting his words go in one ear and out the other. Her next words said she was doing exactly the latter, “Okay. I don’t disagree with you, John, but I don’t know why you’re so hooked on this. I understand. We don’t have to worry about this unnecessarily anymore.”

Yes, you do understand. That’s the fucking point.

They weren’t getting anywhere, yet John didn’t even have the energy to groan in annoyance. He could even get his eyebrow to twitch.

All he could do was simply lean his head back against the wall and let his hair stick up against it like static electricity was flowing through it. The real reason it was sticking up was probably due to a mixture of Zero-Gs and grease from all of the showering he hasn’t been doing, however. His eyes had deep rings around them, and for a second, EOS thought about how relative age could be as a number while John softly spoke, “The Hood was an angry man, too, you know. He felt slighted by our family and wanted us to feel the same. It still doesn’t make what he did right.”

EOS thought about his words before coming to a logical conclusion, “Well, that’s certainly a leap in logic. There’s a big gap between simply yelling because you’re annoyed and literal kidnapping. One gives people a sour mood, the other gives them a significant amount of jail--”

“Yes, EOS, I’m aware of that,” John brought his hand to his face, but underneath it was a grin, telling the world that he was feeling fond exasperation more than anything. EOS was more obtuse than him sometimes. It was one of the few things of himself he wished she didn’t copy so easily. He sighed and brought his hand back down, “I’m just... putting things into perspective. I want you to see why my words were wrong. It would make me feel better if you did.”

EOS hung still, letting John’s admission roll over her wiring like a wave of electricity, “You have a lot of needs and wants. What takes precedent?”

More inflection. This time, John welcomed it. It gave him something to stand on. John wanted a lot of things. Alan to be home safe and sound, Dad to have not disappeared for nearly a decade, for his brothers to stop slowly killing themselves, for himself to stop, but the needs of the many, even the needs of one, outweigh the wants of a singular man like him, but, “Well, needs obviously, they’re necessary, however… it’s okay to be selfish every once in a blue moon. It doesn’t make you inherently bad.”

It was advice he parroted many-a-times to his family, some of them more often than others, seldom to himself if at all.

Scott, it’s okay if you have to tell them you can’t make this business conference.

Virgil, you can count inventory in the morning. You didn’t get any sleep last night either.

Gordon, if you can’t smile for a day or two, that doesn’t make you a bad person.

Kayo, you don’t have to patrol every night. We have security cams for a reason.

Alan, I know we tease you, but you missing a chore or two isn’t the end of the world.

Grandma, you already do enough for us, you barely cooking for us is the least of our worries.

That last one might be more for the rest of his family than not, but hey, two birds and one stone. Keeping his back against the wall, John stood up straighter against it, face suddenly serious, “In fact, wanting to be selfish is one of the best ways to tell that you’re human. You can’t escape it. It only becomes bad when you end up only being that.”

EOS sat in silence, her lens flickering in that way it always does when she was signifying she was about to pass judgment like a Goddess, which she seemed to be doing a lot more recently, “Well then… If I’m allowed one moment of self-reprieve, I suppose I should say that those words did… hurt.”

John grimaced despite very much understanding that he deserved it. The return of the inflection didn’t exactly help. Pushing himself away from the wall, he felt the metaphorical weight fall off his shoulders, “Yes, they did, and while they weren’t okay, it is okay to say that they weren’t. I still am very sorry.”

EOS adjusted her camera, probably to stall for time, “I know you are, John. I still forgive you, but am I correct in assuming I’m allowed some time to… recover isn’t the word I’m looking for, but--”

“Yes, EOS,” John helped her explain her own point, “Recover is a good word. You’re allowed that if you want it.”

John wasn’t sure how, but it seemed like EOS visibly relaxed, “Thank you, then, for letting me do that. This.”

For some reason, John did too, “Of course.”

It was a soft kind of awkward silence, where both parties had something on their mind but they weren’t entirely sure if they wanted to say it out loud. This is why EOS appreciated John more than the others, he simply let silence be silence. It allowed her time to think, unlike how Scott and Virgil kept asking questions, or how that awful duo made noises and messes only to have a chance at making people laugh. As if that was the most important thing they needed to do.

The nights the youngest called John were endless with his constant babbling that tended to grate her circuit boards. The only reason she let it happen was that John seemed to loosen up at the interaction. He became less weary, less worried-filled. He seemed to greatly enjoy the audial presence of Alan Tracy, let alone the way he lit up when the youngest actually showed up in person. It was just unfortunate that it seemed like the kid could never keep his mouth shut.

Then again… from what John said, the whole reason there wasn’t any more Alan was because he did keep it shut. At the worst moment possible. Now there wouldn’t be any more babbling period. Alan was gone, and the whole family was suffering from the new silence. EOS reasoned it was from the general idea of forced silence instead of just freely being able to leave the room or being able to tell him to quiet down, but maybe it was more than that. She could make another list of options to consider.

Plus, it was weird to think about a future where all of those video game walkthroughs she was forced to save would never be used again. John insisted that they weren’t just wastes of megabytes, so...

Hmm.

“Could you…” EOS trailed off, and before John could comprehend the unusual behavior of the A.I., she started speaking again, “Could you tell me more about Alan? I’m starting to think I judged him rather harshly.”

John took a moment to register her words and promptly snorted, “Well, most of your assumptions about him aren’t entirely unfounded, but that’s one of the joys of being an older sibling, I guess. Surprises around every corner,” there was regret in her voice and John knew he had to treat this as gently as he would a newborn child otherwise he would never hear it again.

EOS flickered, “I thought you didn’t like surprises.”

Uh, “Well, not usually, but there are a few from time to time that I could look back on and call them… quaint, in a sense.” Suddenly, a memory resurfaced, and John found himself grinning like he was doped up on nitrous oxide, “Yeah, they can have good surprises occasionally…”

It was a week before his next rotation. Scott would be back home in about three days, which allowed the second born to actually have a few moments with his only older brother. He was looking forward to it just as much as Scott was. Right now, though, he had to make sure he got the right angle.

Right as he did, he heard the soft pitter-patter of footsteps come up the ladder, and when he turned around, he was met with a bundle of freckles, “Oh, hey Alan.”

Hi, Johnny, the kid squirmed out, Is it okay if I sit next to you?

At first, a list of things wanted to fill John’s head. You look dead on your feet, you should be asleep, you have a lot going on this week so why are you wasting sleep? but instead of any of those filling the void that was his brain, John simply nodded, “Yeah, sure, come pop a squat, Sprout.”

John looked away right before he could watch Alan’s nose wrinkle in displeasure. Despite the usage of the nickname (that Alan secretly liked, don’t think you could pull that wool over our eyes, little bro), the kid still toddled over and flopped himself down right next to his older brother. Sighing, the kid leaned his head on John’s arm and absentmindedly stared out into space, both figuratively and literally. Satisfied his brother was comfy, John went back to his current objective.

As John examined the night sky, he also carefully looked over Alan out of the corner of his eye. Every bruise that John could see was finally dulling out into that familiar greyish-yellow as bruises do, and the sight was enough to calm any negative emotion being created from the reminder. John refocused on his telescope to help as well.

The kid had been through one hell of a week, bullies being their typical selves. Every Tracy outside of Scott and Gordon had their fair share of their own experiences with nasty people, and it wasn’t even the first time they’ve left their special kind of blue-and-black marks, but seeing it on Alan was… worse, somehow. Virgil had unsavory anonymous notes at ‘best’, and John knew first hand that their hits bruised more than just physical skin. So to see Alan get the same treatment and not say anything...

John was starting to understand why his older brother greyed so easily.

Speaking of which, Scott was pretty peeved at the idea of not being there for Alan. Because of this, John made sure to be the sole one to call him and inform him of the awful news while the older brother was out at his designated Air Force base. John wanted to see with his own two eyes that Scott wouldn’t do anything rash and made himself liable to be put on some kind of list.

You would think he wouldn’t be that stupid, but the Tracys are known for breaking expectations over their sweet, sweet kneecaps.

(“Scott, you’re not going to steal an Air Force jet just to come and beat up some dumb kids.”

“Watch me.”

“They’re only a year older than Alan.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

John pinched the bridge of his nose, “Listen, we already scarred them enough as it is, let alone their expulsions. Grandma’s threats to the adults were liable for a government-mandated therapist, Virgil just being there had them running for the hills, the computer I was sporting sent chills down their spines and throughout the hallways, and that’s not even to mention Gordon’s threats to the kids themselves. Seriously, where would a 15-year-old even get the tools to do that?”

Scott visibly relaxed at John’s point, but he still sat a little taut, not fully accepting the idea of people being cruel enough to hurt a literal ray of sunshine, “Fine, fine, I still want to talk to the kid over a call at some point. He was the one who dealt with those idiots.”

John’s shoulders deflated, “Yeah, you got me there. He’ll be back with Virgil and Gordon soon enough, you can see him then.”

Scott smiled in a way that washed away the greys in his hair, if only for a moment, “Awesome, I--”

John wasn’t completely done, “But I’m going to be with Alan while you talk to him. I don’t trust you to not be in search-and-destroy mode, and the last thing Alan needs is an angry you with no buffer. Besides, I’m pretty sure we have the same questions. I can play the angsty-Scott translator tonight. Usual fee, 10 bucks each word.”

The groan that managed to fill the whole house despite the tiny speakers was one John would never forget.)

Too lost in thought, John didn’t catch Alan’s movements at first. Leaning away from his telescope, John focused on Alan, “Sorry, Allie, did you say something?”

The child simply shrugged and smushed his chubby cheeks against John’s side, shaking his head, followed by his hands, I just wanted to see what you were doing.

Ah, that made sense. Alan had been continuously signing for the past year because of the obvious, so John rolled with the punches. It was always funny when they talked about these years in the future. Alan talked, Alan said, Alan brought up: it was always metaphorical, and nobody could believe them when they said Alan was fluent in ASL, let alone because he could actually go half a day without talking.

It was ironic because even with no words, Alan still managed to be the loudest thing on the planet. His hands always screamed with excitement whenever he felt like ‘talking’, and no brother ever felt like shutting him up. Especially when it was so easy for Alan to simply not shake his hands to hide the fact that he was in trouble--

Right, don’t go there. John shook his head to bring himself out of his thoughts and replied to the non-verbal admission, “Just looking at the stars. Recording their coordinates and whatnot.”

A small gasp had John jerking immediately away from his scope to see Alan suddenly very worried, maybe even fearful, But won’t you lose your eyes?!

Aha, what? “Allie, you’re going to have to give me more than that.”

John almost didn’t catch what Alan was trying to explain with the way he frantically shook his hands even faster than before, Mrs. Gatsen explained to us that the sun was a star too, but we’re not allowed to look at it for too long because it’ll steal our eyes! I don’t want you to lose your eyes, Johnny!

Ohoho, the part of John’s brain that was all about the smartsy stuff was gearing up to have a full-blown seminar of sorts, but the way the kid seemed so sincere in his worry, in his fear, John felt partially bad for giggling instead, “Oh, Allie, no. Here,” John was activating his inner Virgil and Scott with the way he grabbed the youngster and placed him in his lap, “Yes, the sun is a star, but there are many kinds of stars. Most of which don’t hurt your eyes. Take a look.”

Alan gave one last sentimental look at John, who nodded again just to reassure the blonde before the boy gulped and put his eye against the tool like Johnny did. This time, the gasp that came from him was more magical, more child-like, as it always should be. John watched on as the kid became stuck to his telescope like glue.

Suddenly, Alan leaned back into John, somewhat knocking the wind out of him. Honestly, now that he was thinking about it, John realized he was pushing it by letting Alan sit next to him in terms of his personal comfort zone. He loved Allie just as much as the rest of the family, but letting them in, letting them get close, was veering dangerously close to that specific ‘hug’ territory like he and his parents had.

Before John could explain that in a child-friendly way, and hopefully in a way where the too-smart-for-his-own-good kid couldn’t pick up on the hidden message, Alan looked him directly in the eyes and confidently signed his wants, Can we do this more often? Can we?

Just like that, John’s mind blanked. Alan wanted to do something with him. Not swim with Gordon, not music with Virgil, not do, well, anything with Scott, Allie found something that he would like to do with John.

Huh, interesting, “Yeah, sure. If we can’t do it in the next week, then the first thing we’ll do when I come down is stargaze, because that’s what it’s called: stargazing.”

Alan started gripping his arm tighter and leaned more into his chest, nodding vigorously at the news and looking back to the sky with newfound wonder. Letting Alan be, abruptly forgetting his grievances with things like touch, John went back to his telescope. After another minute or so, John reached a point where he needed both sides of his body, except it looked like one of them was going to be kept immobile unless the spaceman said something to Alan.

John tried doing just that, just without looking away from his device, “Hey, Allie, I don’t mind the sitting-in-my-lap and stuff, but I do need my arm back to--”

Snoring.

Oh.

Jerking his head to physically look at his sibling, John found Alan passed out and squeezing his arm like a freckled koala bear. The ginger flinched a little bit at the drool dripping onto his sleeve, but the way Allie melted into him made him-- actually, he was very suddenly aware that this whole night he hadn’t really been thinking at all, and that thought made him continue to stare mindlessly at the dozing brother.

He always thought about, well, everything. What he was going to say, what he planned to do tomorrow, about what the future held now that they were down their second and last parent. If he didn’t think about it beforehand, he rarely did it. He had to make sure he went through all of his options before haphazardly jumping into the pits of hell.

Yet the way his younger brother looked at him like he was the world himself tonight made John throw all of his training to be as cautious as possible out the window in a need to comfort and care for the small thing in front of him.

It was shocking to his mind, yet he didn’t resent just being able to do without worrying too much. Was this how smother complexes started? Did he ever drool on Scott’s arm? Still staring at Alan, John’s mind continued to be robotic as he simply let his younger brother be and went back to his telescope. Alan had been needing to get a little more sleep lately anyway.

Yeah, it was fine. He could figure out how to follow up on his words later. It wouldn’t be that hard to figure out a way to squeeze Alan into some of his already-planned stargazing nights while making sure the kid still got sleep. Also, John’s used telescopes wearing a cast and sling before, he might prefer two arms, but he has been okay with only one.

If Grandma yelled at John for spending too much time on the roof again, well, she would have to get over it. Alan got an extra hour of sleep and that was all that mattered.

EOS watched as John finished the story. Once he was done, he continued to be quiet while grinning at nothing. All he was doing was simply staring at the floor… It was slightly creepy, and EOS cleared her nonexistent throat, “Huh, I didn’t realize he got a lot of his interests from you. Maybe… maybe you could show me why he did. He can too. More perspectives always get more data.”

John blinked and was immediately taken out of his trance. He brought his hand to his mouth and cleared his throat, “Yeah, he-- wait, what?”

EOS sighed. This is another reason why she snapped him out of it; his inability to listen to someone right in front of him. She simplified her words, “If Alan comes back, can you two take me stargazing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen what the stars look like down there, or, at least, I never looked at them long enough to understand what you all find to be so fascinating about them.”

John blinked a few more times with his mouth slightly gaped. He looked around nervously before bringing his turquoise eyes to look EOS directly in the middle of her camera, “Yeah, sure, EOS. When Alan gets back, that’s the first thing we’ll do.”

EOS didn’t mention anything about the correction of if to when, “Thank you, John, I would like that very much.”

John nodded and floated back to his tech, “Of course. Now then, we’ve got work to do. I’ve been meaning to stargaze recently anyway.”

He still had one more day up here.

And a baby brother who needed saving.

How hard could it be?

---

Very.

Growling in frustration, he thumped his fist against the wall next to him rather harshly.

Not enough to leave any kind of mark or dent, but enough for him to focus on the tiny amount of pain it gave him. He vaguely heard EOS’s lens flare at the sudden noise, but he was a little too focused on why he felt the need to hit his girl.

It was the end of the last day, and he didn’t make it any further like he thought he would.

Some bleak part of his mind was hoped, prayed that his girl would have the tools to find their baby brother. He was willing to bend her entire satellite to be able to reach the far ends of the galaxy if he had to, but even he had to concede that she wasn’t enough. The Hood wasn’t dumb, unfortunately, and he wasn’t going to go easy on them. That is if he was even going “to go” on them to start with.

While it wasn’t the first time he failed spectacularly, this failure certainly hurt the worst.

Half of him wanted to curl up into a ball and forget everything for a moment (or maybe forever), but the other half won out in terms of what his body contorted into. Instead of curling up like a prickly hedgehog, he leaned backward to be floating with his back to the ground and his face to the ceiling with his face in his hands. Meanwhile, EOS silently gazed from her camera in the corner. Watching John struggle this way was… new, and it twisted her wires in a way she wasn’t sure she could describe.

EOS watched him mumble something. Huh, peculiar as ever. Adjusting her camera, she tried small talk, “What was that, John?”

Still mumbles, but more intelligible, “... I need to drop the ‘s’.”

A flicker of yellow, nothing but pure confusion for once in her robotic life, “The ‘s’ of what?”

Suddenly, the astronaut was standing (well, floating) upright with a look of disdain, but EOS could see that it wasn’t meant for her, “Of ‘she’. It’s not ‘Five’s fault, God, it never is, but maybe… maybe it’s mine.”

All of her programs should allow her to say something. Anything, sugarcoated or not, would be beneficial to this seemingly one-sided conversation, but this was the moment she learned that humans could be faster than computers since John steamrolled right to the point without hesitation, “He wasn’t good enough sounds better. Nothing I’m doing is getting any results. I gave my family false hope that I would find something and now I have to go to them and essentially break them. They were already barely holding it together as it was, but when the “smart one” in their family says there’s nothing he can do…”

She found herself going against the logical part of her program-- because despite the idiot John Tracy could be, when he made an argument that had any kind of evidence you never could go against it-- the first time in, well, ever, in an attempt to comfort her partner, “John… I think you’re grasping at straws here.”

He looked up from the floor, and EOS had to shrink her lens at the sight of unshed tears in his eyes, “Who was the one that called him?! Me! He was standing there only a few rooms over, probably terrified out of his mind, and I didn’t know. I let him slip between our fingers because I was so caught up in the moment and I hate myself for it.”

EOS found herself speechless for once, and the few droplets of tears that floated in front of John’s face didn’t help. She had been trying her best recently, especially recently, to understand the fluctuations of human emotion, and she was pretty sure she had decent tabs on at least John nowadays, but this was something unexpected, a thing her programming never really liked to deal with. It involved lots of new calculations and new sims, why, it made things seconds longer when they didn’t have the time to deal with it!

Her electronic voice box made a noise with the intent to say something, as she thought she finally had the time to deal with it, but just her luck, more unexpected things made her reapproach the issue at hand, “John, look out! The Chaos Crew!”

Blinking out of his self-deprecation train, John was uncharacteristically panicking, “What, where?” After doing a full 180, John eventually saw one of his comm radios with the familiar pink symbol floating above it.

John’s pupils shrunk and his eyebrows tilted downward in that unfamiliar emotion: anger.

Fuck this.

The mood change was as fast as the speed of lightning. John practically flung himself to the communication device on something akin to a warpath. No longer regretful or depressed, John was filled to the brim with fury at the sight of one of the men that was a constant thorn in the Tracy family’s side, “What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you--”

“Wait wait wait!” Fuse pleaded, making John momentarily pause enough to listen, “I’m not good at this like my sister is, so this connection is going to drop soon. I need you to reopen the line yourself so I can explain what I’m here for! Trust me, I swear I’m not--”

Zip.

Blinking at the lack of noise, John slowly turned his head to look at his A.I. to get her opinion on the matter. It wasn’t a positive one, that’s for sure. Her dots were bright red, and for the first time in a while, he found himself flinching at the sight and sound of her, “It wouldn’t take much of me to get rid of the nuisance, you know.”

Taking a few deep breaths, John shook his head, “No, EOS, give me a sec. Don’t send him careening into space.”

Yet.

With shaky hands, John did as Fuse begged and found the comm line the guy haphazardly threw together. Right as Fuse jumped at the sight of one of the Tracys actually hearing him out, John’s voice spoke coldly, “You have five minutes. Go.”

Fuse gulped, “W-Well, I suppose the first thing to do would be to apologize. I’ve caused a lot of messes for you and your family-- heh, ‘messes’ probably doesn’t even come close to explaining what I did-- and I realize that now, so I want to--”

Ah, that tactic. The one where they try so desperately to seem like they were repentant. John wasn’t familiar with it, but Scott sure was. Shady business owners trying to shy away from their consequences made the eldest very aware of how slimy those in power could be. Scott complained about it a lot, so John made sure to always remember it just in case he ever ran into it himself.

Preplanning wins again in the Tracy household. You should listen to John’s advice more, Gordon, “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” John muttered mostly to himself and moved in a way that signified something was going to happen.

Fuse sputtered and stopped immediately. Crap, he was going about this wrong. These were all things he was suddenly genuine about, he really was, but the Tracys didn’t want useless apologies at the moment, and he understood that. Hopefully, he didn’t understand it too late. Right before John could do anything to him or give any kind of command to his satellite, Fuse blurted the information he should’ve said the first place, “I know where he is!”

John felt like the Earth flew right off its axis.

Everything froze, including EOS. His hand was out in front of him for some reason, probably subconsciously reaching for some kind of button, as he absentmindedly listened to the whirl of ‘Five and his brain fully processed what Fuse was promising, “... What?”

John was keenly aware that sounding so weak, so hopeful, was something that Fuse could spinelessly abuse if the man wanted to, but John had a good lie detector. The words that fumbled out of half The Chaos Crew’s mouth were sounding good, great, and John could tell that he wasn’t bullshitting anything, “I know where he’s keeping your bro. I mean… shit, what The Hood did wasn’t right, maybe it never was, but I know this specifically is--” a break in his speech in an attempt to words things better. Fuse failed, “Bad. I just…”

John’s head involuntarily tilted at the way Fuse trailed off. For once in his life, John was at a loss. This was highly uncharacteristic from what John had seen of The Chaos Crew, and the astronaut was so flabbergasted he couldn’t even begin to come up with any possible ulterior motive behind Fuse’s actions at the moment.

Suddenly, Fuse looked back up with big eyes, almost reminding John of Alan a little bit. Not in the obvious ways, because Fuse was on the verge of seven feet tall and built like a truck whereas Alan was the teeniest thing on the planet, but… John could see similar traits of innocence in them. The eyes of someone desperately clinging onto the last few shreds of hope they had, but still ready to do what's right because of it. Because even if the light at the end of the tunnel was small it was still worth fighting for.

Fuse, seeing that John wasn’t going to say anything, bit the bullet, “I don’t know, call it selfish, call it smart, but if The Hood is willing to do something like this to someone so young, I… I don’t want to be apart of it. I can’t give any information about my sister, I’m no snitch, but I want out, even if it means spending the rest of my days in a GDF cell.”

John was suddenly aware of a burning question, “Wait, how old are you, Fuse?”

A tired sigh, aging Fuse to something that was probably three times what he was going to say, “I turn 20 in two weeks.”

John sharply inhaled, “Jesus, I… I didn’t realize you were that young.”

A lot of things made sense quickly and abruptly like they always do for the ginger.

If The Hood was willing to do this to someone so young, that didn’t stop him from doing this to someone like Fuse. The logical conclusion the now ‘ex-villain’ made probably danced the wildest jig in his head, and before anyone could clap their hands, he got as far away as possible. John wouldn’t be surprised if The Hood made idle threats for not following orders or for “being stupid”, so Fuse had every right to feel threatened.

Jeez, he was probably terrified at the implication. A dark, buried part of John selfishly thought good, it sucks you had to learn the hard way, but now you see why we all hate him, but the first thing that came to his mind was something unexpected yet expected all the same.

John was reminded of Alan again.

Except Alan had four older brothers to run to when the monsters got too big or too frightening.

…

Scott was going to kill him, “Park her over on the left and come in. We’ve got a lot to talk about. Bring inside whatever you think will help.”

EOS’s shrill John! ringed throughout the room, yet it was overruled swiftly. Fuse’s mouth was wide open, “For real?”

John couldn’t tell if he was losing the knots in his stomach or forming completely new ones, “Yes. Don’t do anything funny, though. I have eyes everywhere.”

Fuse gulped again, yet he was very business-like with his next words, “Of course.”

The line cut a millisecond before John wanted it to. John knew exactly why, “Listen, EOS--”

EOS was suddenly in his face, and it spoke miles at how far she’s come that she wasn’t blaring any alarms in anger, “No, you listen, John Tracy. I cannot believe the level of ignorance you are displaying!”

Gordon always joked about her being his daughter, but right now, John’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the feeling of being scolded by an overbearing mother, “I get this may seem like I’ve lost it--” jokes on EOS, who says he hasn’t at this point? “Listen, there’s nothing else left to go off of, and I know this makes me look like a crazy man desperate for information that might not even be there, but--”

“No buts!” EOS shrieked, “You told me that if you followed a sentence with a “but” that what you were about to say shouldn’t even be considered an option! What is making you throw all of my training out the window?!”

John’s mouth became very dry. This conversation was taking a very different turn, “Wait, EOS, why is this all about you suddenly--”

John was starting to regret giving her more mobility at the sight of her jamming her camera directly in his face even more, “It’s not just about me! This affects you too! You said you always based your decisions on the here-and-now, so I should too, so why am I the only one doing so?! You’ve seen what he’s capable of!”

John’s mind tended to be made of gears, and all of them began spinning at the same time. Dammit, he didn’t pick up on this because he didn’t even consider it a factor: EOS being scared. Hell, it wasn't even considered because the last time he remembered her being this scared was when she thought he was a threat during the first time they met (was it really that long ago?). She was scared that Fuse was going to hurt John like he hurt the rest of the astronaut’s family. Like he hurt Gordon.

The only difference is that nobody could get to John like they did Gordon, so that left the ginger at an impasse if the small chance that Fuse was here to hurt him came true.

John found it very hard to breathe all of a sudden. Closing his eyes and struggling to get enough air in, he realized a fundamental problem. EOS was based on data and things that have been recorded, and so far, the only things recorded about Fuse was that he was hellbent on hurting the Tracy family, a family that John was apart of.

She didn’t know any other way to feel about the guy, she didn’t have any other example.

John would love to be that way too, honestly, to just focus on the data. Numbers never tended to be wrong, and the idea of being a simple number-crunching bot would make life a shit-ton easier, but he can’t. He’s human. One that’s very much willing to go against the numbers and probabilities if it meant helping his family.

A rarity for John, to follow his gut and nothing else, but at the end of the day, he was a Tracy, and following his gut was as familiar to him as it was to name all of the immediate constellations in the summer’s nighttime sky, “EOS, I know it’ll be hard to believe me, hell, I’m having trouble believing myself, but Fuse isn’t here to hurt me. The here-and-now is different for reasons I don’t have enough time to properly explain, okay? If there’s anything to believe, believe in the trust you have in me to make the right decision like I always do.”

EOS made no noise, not even a flicker of her lens. He expected her usual sass, something along the lines of, Who says I trust you, moron? but what he got punched away what little air he managed to collect, “... Do you promise?”

That was the million-dollar question. Of course, he couldn’t. He didn’t like making promises after the age of 12. Too many probabilities, too many what-ifs, made promises somewhat of a theoretical impossibility. But just like that night on the roof with Alan, John was able to not think, “I promise, EOS. You wanted to go stargazing with me and Alan, right? Fuse might be able to let us do that again.”

‘Family’ was a Wild Card. Nothing was possible, yet everything was at the same time when it came down to it. ‘Family’ was what made Scott go from day to day without keeling over. ‘Family’ was what got Virgil to sleep at night when he just couldn’t by himself. ‘Family’ was how Gordon managed to keep smiling and joking despite everything in the world trying to make him stop. Hell, ‘Family’ was how their father kicked the word impossible right in the groin and live.

‘Family’ might have been why Alan was stuck in such a shitty situation, but it was also the reason the kid was willing and able to go that far in the first place. He learned that selflessness from his ‘Family’, after all.

John was intent to use that fact to the fullest.

EOS’s lights blinked in contemplation before she quietly spoke once more, “Do I have permission to shock him if he makes even the slightest suspicious movement?”

John rolled his eyes yet grinned all the same, “Sure, only just a little voltage, though. Right in the ass. Would be a nice pick-me-up after all of this.”

Well, despite the year they’ve had, John wasn’t aware EOS could snort. Another sign things might be going right for once.

The door swwwshed open and Fuse floated into where the two hyper-intelligent beings were hanging about and got straight to the point, “Thank you. I hope… I hope I don’t let you down.”

John found himself light as air, and it wasn’t just the zero-gravity this time, “Sounds good. Let’s get cracking.”

While the first thing he did back on Earth was scare his father and his immediate younger brother shitless, the way they and the rest of the family lit up at the plan he and Fuse came up with (after making sure nobody killed the dude, which was surprisingly more difficult than expected, and boy was it expected) made it all worth it.

Well, maybe the sight of Fuse occasionally jumping and yelping at a strange pinch in his bottom with no known cause was worth it too. John wouldn’t tell his brothers that, though, he was the responsible one, remember?

You always made me look at things differently, EOS. Thank you.

#fabfivefeb #fabfivefeb2020 #thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #john tracy #alan tracy #eos #fuse thunderbirds #jeff tracy #my post #my fic #series: rules of alchemy

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imthequeenofcordonia · 5 years ago

Text

For the man who has everything

This is my contribution to @choicesfebruarychallenge that’s being hosted by the amazing @bi-cookie and @cxld-play. The prompt is: Karaoke. Thank you for including us all.

Paring: Drake x OC (Lily Rys)

Word count: 1,573

Warnings: Brief talk about mental health.

A/N: All characters belong to Pixelberry other than Lily.

Permatag: @desiree---1986

Drake and lily tags: @addictedtodrakefanfic, @msjr0119

“So we’re being joined by Crown Prince Leo and his younger sister, Princess Lily,” the Radio host, Gary Hall- a friend of Ana Di Luca’s and the host of Cordonia’s most popular radio station spoke into his microphone in front of him as he adjusted his headphones so they were more comfortable.

He turned to the royal siblings, “Thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for having us,” Lily answered.

“First things first, Leo congratulations on your engagement to Countess Madeleine.”

“Thank you,” Leo smiled.

“You and the Countess just arrived back from a very successful engagement tour. You got some extraordinary press because of it.

“We did,” Leo nodded, “It went better than we expected it too. We’re both really happy about how well it went.”

Gary nodded and turned to Lily. “Lily you also just finished your first solo tour, tell us about that.”

“It was fantastic. As you said, it was my first solo tour, I went to Aunernal, i was actually able to stay a couple of days longer than was intended and got to see where my mother grew up. Like Leo’s tour I got some amazing press and it went really well,” she explained.

“When was the last time you visited Auvernal?” Gary asked.

Lil thought for a second, “I was about seven it was just before my mother passed away.”

“Now the big reason we invited you is because of your mental health campaign. Lily you’ve been quite open about what you've struggled with in the past.”

Lily nodded, “Yeah, i think if we’re going to be telling people to open up and talk about it, it would be hypocritical if i didn't do it myself. These types of things kind of go both ways, you can’t tell someone to do something and do the complete opposite.”

“It’s a very brave thing to do,” Gary noted.

“In a way it was but it needed to happen to show that everyone, no matter who you or where you come from, that mental health issues can affect you. We’re always taught how to look after our bodies but we really need to know how to look after ourselves mentally too and how to talk about it if you are struggling,” She explained.

“Like your tours the campaign is getting a lot of attention and people are talking about it,” Gary mentioned.

“That’s exactly what we want. I couldn't be happier with how it’s going.”

“Good. Now you two agreed to answer some questions that people have texted in.”

“Yep,” Leo nodded.

“Are we going to regret this?” Lily asked.

“Quite possibly,” Gary teased. “Okay first question comes from a woman called jenny. She wants to know if you’re allowed phones?”

Leo laughed, “We are yeah.”

“Really?” Gary asked, “Have you got a family whatsapp group?”

“No, but I would love that,” Lily said, turning to her brother, “Should we get Liam, Dad and Regina to get in on It too?”

“I don't think that’s gonna happen,” Leo said, shaking his head with a grin.

“Next question is from Michael. He wants to know if Leo and Liam were in a fight, who would win?”

Leo shrugged, “Me, obviously.”

“I sense a little bit of sibling rivalry going on?”

“Just a bit,” Leo revealed, smiling.

“ He also wants to know if all three of you were in a fight, who would win then?”

“Lily,” Leo answered.

“Why?” Gary asked.

“I did mixed martial arts for about six years. I could take them both,” Lily said, rather confidently.

“I am learning so much,” Gary said excitedly. “This is the highlight of my career. Okay, we’ve got a couple more. These are one i actually want to know. Kate wants to know what you watch on TV? Do you watch stuff on royalty and you’re like, it’s not like that at all?”

Lily laughed, “Funnily enough i started watching The Crown the other week and yeah, I mean I've met the British royal family and it is kind of accurate.”

“Did you watch that movie called ‘Queen Eleanor’? Was that accurate? Because that is based on your life.”

“I have seen it,” she nodded, “There’s a few little bits in there that quite how it happened but for the most part it’s spot on.”

“Do you watch anything else?”

“I love Supernatural. I’m three seasons behind, i really need to get on that.”

“What about you Leo?” Gary asked.

“Me and Madeline have just finished Game of Thrones. We were a little bit behind, just finished it last night.”

“I haven't watched it,” lily chimed in.

“You should,” Leo advised.

“It is good. Now we’ve got two more. David asked if you’re allowed to order takeaways?”

“Yes,” Lily nodded.

“They must never believe you when you order it to the palace.”

“We don't actually order it to the palace. Somebody, that is not us, will go and pick it up,” Lily explained. “Or if your Prince Leo, he’ll do it himself.”

“I love how normal you two are,” Gary said, which caused the both of them to laugh.

“We are just people,” Lily said.

“That lives in a palace,” Gary mumbled, “Now, last question before we move on. When we see you out and about you are wearing the most regal of outfits, do you have any comfy clothes?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Leo nodded.

“Those outfits are amazing but sometimes are a little bit uncomfortable,” she revealed, “ Yeah, of course we have comfy stuff we wear at home.”

“Okay,” Gary nodded, “Today is a special day. It’s His Majesty's 70th birthday today.” the siblings nodded. “Do you still buy him presents? What do you buy for the man who has everything?”

“That is the question,” Leo said, turning to his sister.

“It’s hard. Last year Leo brought him a phone.”

“That’s perfect for your whatsapp group,” Gary chimed in.

“He actually spends a lot of time on it,” Lily revealed.

“I can imagine it: him sitting in the palace playing Candy Crush. That’s brilliant, that is.”

“He’s flying through the levels though,” Leo said.

“I was joking. Does he seriously play?”

Lily nodded, “He’s a little addicted to it actually.

“Talking of your father’s birthday: there’s a video going around the internet of you, Lily, singing his favourite song for his birthday from a few years ago.”

Lily hid her face in her hands as her body shook with laughter. When she looked back up, her face was red and her eyes were welling. “Did you have to mention that?” she jokingly scolded, “I was fourteen and this was when i was really getting into music. I was learning how to play the guitar, piano and attending singing lessons. Like we’ve said it’s hard to know what to buy him so I sang him his favourite song.”

“But the thing is you’re actually good,” Gary complemented.

“Thank you,” Lily grinned.

“Singing was a passion of yours, wasnt it?”

“It definitely was. My mother loved to sing when I was a kid, I must get it from her. The rest of the family aren't really into music like I am,” she explained.

“What’s his majesty's favourite song at the minute?”

“Someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi,” Lily explained.

“Really?” Gary asked, his brow furrowing, “I am learning so much right now. The king likes playing Candy Crush and likes Lewis Capaldi, is he a Billie Eilish fan too?”

“Actually he does like to hum the tune to bad guy so maybe,” Lily shrugged.

“So We’ve got a backing track to someone you loved,” Gary told her.

Her brow furrowed, “Okay...Where is this going?”

“I think you know, little sis,” Leo grinned at her.

“We’ve got it from good authority-”

“Our brother,” Leo interrupted.

“That his majesty is listening and we would like to know if you’d sing your dad's favourite song for his birthday? We’ve also got it on good authority that you haven't got him a present yet.”

She sighed, “I feel like i’m going to regret this: I’ll do it.”

Lily put her headphones on, adjusting them so they were properly on her ears and Leo put his on too. Lily scooted her chair closer to the table and leaned in a bit closer to the microphone. “Happy birthday dad.”

The music started to play, Lily focusing on when the right time to jump in was.

“I’m going under and this time i fear there’s no one to save me,” she started, singing into the microphone.

“Wow,” she heard Gary mutter and she continued, focusing intently on what she was making her voice do, remembering all the tricks and techniques she learnt from her teacher.

Finally she came around to the chorus, “Now, the day bleeds into nightfall and you’re not here to get me through it all, I let my guard down and you pulled the rug, I was getting kind of used to being someone you loved.”

And then finally the song drew to a close and the both men applauded the young princess, who smiled gratefully at them, removing the bulky headphones.

“That was a cover of Someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi from the extraordinary Princess Lily Rys!” Gary spoke into the mic.

Lily was grinning widely, getting sidetracked when her phone dinged. She peeked at it to see a text from her boyfriend.

Drake: You were amazing 😉

Which only caused her grin to grow wider.

#choicesfebruarychallenge #drake x oc #trr #trr Drake #the royal romance fanfic #choices fanfiction #choices:stories you play

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looongcat · 4 years ago

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Ozmafia Thoughts

I posted a whole thing on my main but now that I’m using this blog for all things otome, I figured I would try to organize my thoughts because i have so many thoughts.

This is not spoiler free! But I try to label some of the major spoilers.

Caramia

Caramia is the don of the oz family, and it’s his duty to protect his territory, the people who live in his territory, and to sign papers for stuff? Man’s is always signing papers for mafia reasons :) I knew from the start that he would be my favourite. I just love a guy who’s nice. Call me basic, but I just love a man who wants me to be happy and takes cares of me? I love feeling like someone cares about me! He’s also a great cook, and who doesn’t love delicious food? Idk how to explain how I feel about caramia, I liked his personality but I didn’t love his story? I really felt like there was some distance between Caramia and Fuka, like he was in a whole nother world from her. Which you do get to chose whether she’s happy he’s in charge or like she feels lonely. I did however really liked his transfer routes. I did the axel to caramia transfer first, and I felt like it wasnt clear that they slept together, but after I did caramia to axel and I got hit with that axel CG! Anyways, I liked the transfer routes.

Kyrie

I knew I would hate this guy so much. I’m just not interested in a guy who’s a fucking tease. Like he openly admits that he likes it when you’re upset. Like I do not want that TYVM. I found him kinda tolerable in his transfer routes however, probably because he does have to try and make Fuka happy in order to get Fuka to break up with her boyfriend. He really said break up with your bf i’m bored! Also I felt it was kinda weird that he was paying for Fuka’s br*th*l visits. I think its kinda weird that he introduced her to it, and was like encouraging it. ESPECIALLY*** (major super duper spoiler here what will be censored lol) if he thought she was *****

I saw some people argue that he might not actually love fuka, but I think that one transfer route ending, kinda shows that he really does love her IYKYK. but i’m so sus about that ending where he becomes a dumbass, i really think this bitch is faking it! I do not believe him for a second!

Axel

I quite like Axel. I personally don’t mind when a guy is at this level of over protectiveness. Plus as I have mentioned, i just love it when a cold guy is soft for you. I absolutely adore that shit (like when he ask Fuka to treat him as an equal and drop the honorifics? that shit gets me T_T) He also gets extremely jealous very easily, which becomes an area of conflict for him and Fuka and it is up to you whether you wanna forgive him or move onto another guy. Personally, I would forgive him. I would talk to him about it! But I could understand being in your first relationship and not being able to handle your emotions. I think Axel is quite sweet, and he just wants the best for fuka, which is cute.

Scarlet

IDK how I feel about Scarlet, specifically the part where he straight up states he’s a minor! Like what’s up with that? Why couldn’t he be older? However, I did really enjoy his route. It’s super cute and slow burn-y and nothing romantic actually happens probably because he is a minor. Scarlet is kind, resourceful, caring lol. We always love a guy who’s trying his best to keep the peace among everyone, while still providing for his family.

His route also has a bit of plot. It shows what hamelin was like prior to a specific event that you learn about in robin hood. I dont have a specific order that I think this game should be played but it might be interesting to maybe play scarlet’s route after robin hood.

Caesar

As I’ve said before, I don’t mind a man who’s trynna kill me. Idk what’s up with that LOL. Well maybe I like how you can see them change from wanting to kill you to not...wanting to kill you. One thing I remember liking about Caesar was that he usually called you a woman, as opposed to a girl. Which made me feel a lot better, will elaborate more on that later. I think even though he stayed harsh to her the whole time, I liked how you could see he was slowly falling/becoming whipped for fuka. Like the comedy of him wearing that dumb cloak so y’all could watch the stars together. Or like him working at Soh’s restaurant because he had to earn the money, and not just take Soh’s money. Like I loved that! Plus the ending where he isn’t accepted but he keeps pulling dumb stunts just to see you is v cute lol.

Soh

Idk how to talk about Soh without major spoilers. Soh is so sweet. I like how he’s always striking up conversations with Fuka in all the routes, which is probably good for her, considering almost everyone else is pretty wary of her existence. I honestly liked his route and I guess that's all I can say.

*big spoilers* I know most people don’t like Soh, cause he’s the reason for all things bad LOL. Yes he’s using/deceiving Fuka the whole time, but its not like he drugged Fuka or kept Fuka captive lol. Like most of the time he’s trying to keep her safe, and trynna make her happy, even if its probably so he could gain her trust or something. I also feel like his route was kinda him giving up his grand plan, and wanting to run away and be happy with Fuka, which obviously doesnt happen. Idk i liked that he ultimately treated her right.

Pashet

What’s up with otome games giving you a girl option but not the option to actually romance the girl? Her route was fine, and the friendship that builds between Fuka and her is fine. Sorry that’s a little salty lol. I actually thought this route was really cute. I have my reservations about Fuka being in romantic relationships, so it actually was kinda nice to see her make an actual friend without catching feels. Female friendships are absolutely underrated and I’m glad Fuka was actually able to make a friend who is looking out for her best interest.

Hamelin

I usually try not to use kiss cgs but this is the only couple cg and I like using couple cgs. So sorry if this is spoiler-y to you. But how do I feel about Hamelin... you know what I very much liked him. His route is so short and it’s kinda a secret ending. In that sense his route is a little unsatisfying. It’s kinda unclear how Fuka could love him in that short amount of time... but she does. Hamelin is hard to describe because he’s so different in all the other routes. He’s kinda the main villain in most of the routes, aside from his own. You get to see a little bit more of his personality in Scarlet’s route. I genuinely think he is a good guy, and was trying his best! That’s all you can really ask of anyone right?

*slight spoiler* I’m so sad he didn’t get a redemption? You find out why he did the things that he did, and he just... doesn’t get anything? He like doesn't even appear? Just gone into the abyss. I wish Fuka and him could have gotten a happier ending, since their ending isn’t really... happy

Dr Crow

I do not like Robin Hood. Isn’t Robin Hood about stealing from the rich? Like... why is this man treating everyone the same? Why is this man even apart of the upper class? Okay to keep this brief and spoiler free lol. Dr. Crow here is the town’s doctor. He treats everyone the same regardless of what family they are from. In his eyes you are his patient and his goal is to heal you. He’s quite elegant and seems really dependable and then he hits you with some REDACTED

*spoiler & TW for drugging* Fuck this guy. I think what’s worse is that he did not have to drug fuka, she would have gone along with whatever he wanted probably. I’m guessing he did it so she would be in deep sleep. But still, ew gross. How you gonna love your wife and do that. This man is out for revenge and I dont like it.

Manboy/Dorian/Alfani

I barely like Manboy. Honestly I never heard of Dorian Gray before playing this so I was v confused (and if you heard of it then you probably will be more prepared than I was). I actually played this route really early on because i thought it might be funny. It is in fact not at all funny and I was not okay after finishing it. I am a little glad I got it out of the way though, if I left this for like last I would have been v upset and it probably would have ruined the game for me lol. I do kinda wanna replay the route now that I know about Dorian but idk.. i still hate this route so idk if I really will.

If you don’t know anything like me, this is the br*thel route. Manboy works there more as like a receptionist? Dorian Gray is the ringleader, and there’s Alfani who’s the male escort. Feel free to wikipedia Dorian Gray before trying this route. Not to spoil the story but TW you also get drugged in this route too.

Overall Thoughts

I feel lukewarm about ozmafia. In one aspect I like how each route was different and how the different endings actually like split off. I also enjoyed how there wasn’t necessarily a good ending and a bad ending, they were just different endings. Obviously in some routes, one ending is better than the other, and also in others neither endings are great lol. I also quite enjoyed the transfer routes, it felt different, innovative, like ozmafia really tried something there! And the replay ability, the game adds extra scenes that provide more insight towards what the love interest is thinking, which makes replaying to get the other endings very enjoyable. There also an extra scene before each ending, so you could also replay the same ending too. I really went into ozmafia with like zero expectations, and i was both surprised and underwhelmed? I dont think thats the right word.

*MAJOR SPOILERS* There’s this really great video essay called born sexy yesterday, that really explains why I felt slightly uneasy about the whole story. If you think about it Fuka has amnesia, she’s mentally a child but here she in engaging in adult activities with grown ass men ._. and I know I said I liked the transfer routes, but that was before I found out that Fuka is literally a 10 year old in an “adult” body. LIKE WHEN I SAW DOROTHY I WAS LIKE WHO TF LET THIS INFANT READ DORIAN GRAY? Anyways the fact that dorothy is literally like 10 years old, did not sit well with me. Yknow this story is about wizard of oz, so I did have a feeling Fuka was dorthy, BUT WHEN ISAW HER SPRITE, girl i had to look up dorthy’s age and apparently shes somewhere between 8 and 12. So, throughout the game it was a bit uncomfortable because I did feel like Fuka was mentally a child but I kinda justified it as well she lost her memories, so she’s a blank slate like a child, maybe she’ll mature up with memories but uhhh, that’s just not going to happen.

So there are my thoughts. I thought Ozmafia was really different from other otome games because of how each character got their own story, and the transfer routes felt so innovative, as well as adding the extra scenes in the second playthrough! But there’s some bad born sexy yesterday vibes that make me not okay with it. I would recommend the game though. There’s so much content, it took me like a week to finish it all. Plus the art is quite nice.

#personal #ozmafia #on my main I wrote about how I wish the epilogue/grand ending would have done what nameless did #if you haven't played nameless here are some SPOILERS FOR THAT #In nameless like ozmafia there was a main villain who was the cause of everything just like soh #So i liked in nameless it actually showed what like was like for the teddybear and how when eri forgot about him it absolutely destroyed him #which caused him to do all the things to eri in nameless #i think ozmafia should have done that with Soh #like if it maybe showed how well he got along with dorothy and maybe showed her missing the outside world #and then her doing the thing and disappearing and him being like damn it empty here #feel like pure shit i just want her back #like enough he's willing to k*ll

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pengiesama · 6 years ago

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The Real Library of Alexandria Was the Friends We Made Along the Way (Fic, TOZ/TOB, school AU)

Title: The Real Library of Alexandria Was the Friends We Made Along the Way Series: Tales of Zestiria / Tales of Berseria Pairing: Gen Characters: Laphicet, Mikleo, Sorey, Velvet

Summary: Phi crusades against two Bigger Kids making noise in the library. He winds up discovering some common ground, and becomes leader of the nerdiest gang this side of the hemisphere.

Link: AO3

This was written for After School Heroes ( @ashtaleszine ); a Tales Of zine focusing on school AUs!

The zine's purchase period is now over, but you can check out some of the other fic and art from the zine in the links below.

ASH's Tumblr: http://ashtaleszine.tumblr.com/ ASH's Twitter: https://twitter.com/ashtaleszine/

Read on Tumblr!

“…I’m not saying that you’re wrong. I’m just saying that you’re vastly misinformed.”

“So, really, you’re saying I’m wrong.”

“No, I’m saying that you’re misinformed, and that your flair for the dramatic has led you to an incorrect interpretation of our sources…”

Phi did not mind listening to debates on topics that interested him. And this one did -- he’d always liked Ancient History and was happy to hear someone discussing it with such knowledge and passion. His own class at school was currently covering the period, but...well. When all they were expected to do was to be able to name city-states and list off a handful of gods, trying to engage his classmates in discussions was an exercise in futility. Even his teacher wasn’t much better. Such was the struggle of being ten years old and maybe a bit too well-read.

No, no, the topic wasn’t the issue, nor was the debate. There was just a time and place for this kind of thing, and the public library after school fit neither of those items. There also was a need for one’s indoor voice. Phi peeped over the top of his book, scowling. His baleful stare, full of judgement and righteous fury, went entirely unnoticed. This wasn’t really that surprising, as Phi was halfway across the reading room and half-buried under a pile of heavy books at his table. He thought of clearing his throat in an accusatory tone, but the idea of making a peep in the library was anathema to the very core of his being. Sure, this section of the library was deserted except for Phi and the debaters, but...but it was the principle of the thing, and that principle was what set man apart from beast.

The two intrepid historians were wearing uniforms from a high school across town. Their status as Bigger Kids gave Phi some pause in confronting them. But with the library’s honor to defend, could he ever forgive himself if he let cowardice win? Phi thought briefly about how his babysitter Velvet might handle the issue, then paled, and stopped thinking about it, because it was kind of scary.

“—Sorey, your arguments show a level of understanding that I’d expect from someone whose historical knowledge came from half-remembered edutainment cartoons from ten years ago, not from someone who I thought knew better,” said the white-haired boy wearily.

“Look, Mikleo, I know that attributing the destruction of the Library of Alexandria to a single catastrophic event ignores other things that led to its decline—”

“And leads to more public disinformation about a section of history that’s already rife with it.”

“—but,” said the brown-haired boy (the other boy, Mikleo, had called him Sorey), pressing on. “Even if there were other events which led to its eventual decline, dissolution, destruction, etcetera, what I’m saying is that the most important and impactful of these incidents was it being set ablaze in the Siege. Aurelian’s attack on the city and the destruction of the Serapeum are drops in the bucket in comparison, when the bulk of the collection was already lost at that point!”

“But they were still important events in its final decline, no matter what your little fanfic daydreams of travelling back in time with a magic firetruck to play hero! And all this assumes that the Library even was damaged in the Siege, considering that accounts of the time are contradictory.”

“Ancient accounts from any ancient historian worth their salt all agree that the library was damaged by Caesar’s short-sighted shenanigans! And it’s not a magic firetruck. It’s—”

“Yes, yes, it’s powered by advanced technology made possible by a time loop that hinges on the hero saving the Library from being burned. You act as though I don’t pay attention when I edit your work. But if you really want to be taken seriously, you have to address the other aspects of its decline that can’t be solved by a firetruck falling from the sky.”

Sorey squinted at the ceiling in thought. “...the firetruck could fall from the sky onto Aurelian.”

“Then you’re getting into further divergent history when a Roman Emperor gets killed like a wicked witch from the Land of Oz. And there’s still the Serapeum to consider.”

“The firetruck could fall on Theophilus too.”

Mikleo appeared to be dumbstruck by this statement for a brief moment, then nearly flipped the table in rage.

“You can’t solve every tragic historical event by dropping firetrucks on it!” he all but shrieked.

“It’s called poetic irony!” Sorey shouted back. “And it’s art!”

Phi agreed with both boys on their more intellectual points, and neither of them on their thoughts about art and literature. More importantly, he also agreed with them on the importance of preserving cultural institutions, which meant that he was duty-bound to intervene in this fight before they destroyed this library too. Luckily, he knew the Dewey Decimal System like the back of his hand, and quickly collected a volume of text that might be able to smother the flames of this debate before they spiraled out of control.

Phi marched over to the older boys’ table, and – taking a page out of Velvet’s book on confrontations – slammed the volume down as hard as he could onto the wooden surface. But, as he was still a polite boy, he was sure to scream “excuse me” while he did so.

The two older boys stared at him, wide-eyed and silent, as the bang and scream reverbed off the library’s walls. Taking the opportunity for their undivided attention, Phi opened the book he’d brought over to the appropriate page and tapped a heading.

“Ptolemy VIII’s mass purges of Alexandrian intellectuals who opposed his seizure of the Egyptian throne, and the accompanying political turmoil in the Ptolemaic dynasty at the time, weakened the Library considerably,” Phi began, confidently. “This sent the Library into decline, well before Caesar’s invasion over a century later.”

The shock and confusion melted away from Sorey’s face. He reflected quietly on Phi’s thesis and gave an embarrassed little smile.

“...I guess I really did kind of get hung up on the dramatic events, huh?” he said sheepishly. “Man, with all the craziness going on during that period, it’s kind of a surprise the Library didn’t get set on fire sooner…”

“I don’t think there are enough time-travelling firetrucks in the world to drop on all the troublemakers back then,” Mikleo agreed. “But I’m guilty too, of only looking post-Siege, and at the Roman side of things.”

“And you’re both guilty of yelling in the library,” Phi added. “I could hear you all the way over there.

He pointed accusingly towards his table, which was still piled high with books. The two boys looked abashed.

“I’m so sorry,” Mikleo said. “We...we didn’t see you over there.”

Admittedly, from this table, it was quite hard to see where he’d been sitting, buried behind the books. Sorey, for his part, was already on his way over to Phi’s table. He looked over some of the volumes, interest clear on his face.

“Wow...no wonder you schooled us on this. I’ve been meaning to read some of these!”

“Well, don’t start with that one,” Phi said, gesturing to the volume in Sorey’s hand. “You’re not going to understand it without some background knowledge...”

When the time came for Phi to leave, he had lectured both boys quite thoroughly on history – and what’s more, he had quite completely forgiven them for their sins. Despite their...eccentricities, Sorey and Mikleo were very knowledgeable on ancient topics from around the world, and treated Phi as their equal -- not just some novelty to be humored and “corrected” on topics he knew like the back of his hand. They promised to be here again tomorrow, to talk more, and...and Sorey had talked about making an Ancient History Club, for the three of them, and that would just be too cool…

“It sounds like you had fun,” Velvet observed, after Phi had breathlessly explained to her all the above. “Give me your hand until we’re done crossing the street.”

Idly, Velvet wondered whether she should go through the trouble of inspecting these two new friends of Phi’s – and by “inspecting”, she meant putting the fear of god into them, and by the fear of god, she meant the fear of her.

Phi dutifully grabbed Velvet’s good hand and continued. “We’ll have official meetings once a week and unofficial get-togethers on the other days of the week, except Tuesdays, when Sorey has Track club and Mikleo goes to Home Ec club, but that day I think I can go to the library anyway and just plan our activities for the rest of the week…”

…but, honestly, they seemed like they were a perfect fit for Phi already. Velvet walked with him, hand in hand, and decided to hold off. At least for now.

#tales of zestiria #tales of berseria #tales of zestiria the x #i guess this is my personal tales of zestiria tag now #a tenderly crafted fanfiction #zines #afterschoolheroes

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negotiatedbriefbmcnair · 4 years ago

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Survey

I structured my survey from the same questions I took in to the focus group. I think they have a good range of both emotional and analytically framed questions which will hopefully collate all of the data I need to refine this video further. As I said previously I used Survey Monkey as it is a streamlined process creating and distributing questionnaires from their website. Whereas in the focus group I had been more interested in the emotional reaction of people, the questionnaire lends itself to being a lot more broad and assessing purely the functionality of the video. I have not gotten all the responses I hope for just yet but I will continue to refer back to the results of my questionnaire as I make changes to my video over the next few days.

Before anything else I wanted to make sure I knew what device each individual person was watching the demo on as some of these problems may only be device or platform specific so it is important I’m aware of what issues are happening in which areas specifically. In this survey everybody was watching on an iPhone so far which is good as this is likely how most people will engage with the video so this is a really important area for me. In the focus group I played the video on a television and the text was far more legible than it had been on my Mac screen, knowing this I expected there would be problems with legibility when it came to mobile devices specifically iPhones.

Although I have no defined audience for this video I still wanted to look at the ages of the people engaging to give me more of an idea of where and who this feedback is coming from. All of the responses so far lie between the ages of 18-24 but again, I expect this to be the primary audience for this video due to its distribution taking place on social media platforms.

Although this question may not cause any changes to be made to my project I wanted to make the survey participants first feel valued by asking them about their feelings before critique as this is a little more personal and I want people to feel like more than data to get the best responses out of them. This question does allow me to see though if I have included good, precise data which is easily digestible and relatable. I found it really interesting the amount of interest people showed in emissions surrounding the storage of emails specifically. I think there is even a possible project for the future in that alone, as there are so many elements of our daily online lives that use massive amounts of energy consumption external to our own homes and computers that most of us are totally unaware to, including myself until researching for this project.

Similar to the last question before using people for their critical analysis I wanted to hear a little more about their digestion of the piece and how its affected them. It was really encouraging to see that people are looking to make changes in their own lives off of the back of some simple advice. I think this is what made the section looking at CO2E so effective was the advice that followed, it wasnt anything too drastic it was just some easy that anybody can do and feel like theyre making a difference whilst doing it - because they are.

Similarly to in the focus group I was really interested to hear what specific emotions people experienced whilst engaging with the video as this is the most important thing. Some people said they felt sad or guilt which I understand as it is a sad thing to hear about the way we harm our own home, but my hope was that people would feel hopeful and inspired. So I was glad that these more sad emotions were balanced out with some positive ones. I really liked how one person said ‘The background music helped to evoke calm feelings which is unusual for a video about climate change. I think it made a nice difference to the videos that scare you with the dooming facts and may even have more of a positive effect.’ I spent some time looking for soundtracks and tried multiple in the project but I settled on this one for this reason, I wanted it to feel positive and inspiring. This was a point that was made in the focus group too that my approach of trying to inspire people rather than scare them makes it a more effective campaign. This was my goal from the start so I couldn't really have asked for better feedback than this so hopefully this shows I am doing something right.

Towards the end of the questionnaire I begin to ask for more critical analysis of the production itself. As expected people found parts hard to read but in the questionnaire people complained less about the speed and more about the actual legibility. The blue text fill on the green background are quite complimentary colours which makes them hard to distinguish at times, this wasnt a problem on the television but as the data shows this is definitely problem on mobile devices, one person said it was the scale which was the problem. I think that it is likely to be a blend of all of these factors. I can fix this hopefully by increasing the scale and the drop shadow which I have applied to the text. If this doesn't fix the problem fully as I expect the blue text may still be hard to read, I may need to reassess my colour palette slightly or maybe look at using some sort of stroke or border for the text. This feedback is invaluable though, as someone who has seen the data countless times it was becoming hard for me to really assess the legibility of text both visually and in its duration but now I have feedback I know where I need to make changes.

As well as wanting to know what people thought of the production I also wanted to know what they thought of the content itself. I felt that I was trying to get a lot of different subjects into one video but I wanted it to feel more like friendly advice than an instruction manual, this was a hard balance for me to try and find so I was really interested in the responses to this question. All but one of the responses so far indicate that people were happy with the depth of information and how it touched on a number of points briefly. One person suggested that there could be more information surrounding each point and to a degree I agree, but this would take the video to a length where I feel it would be better suited being produced as a series of videos each looking specifically at one area. As I have just stated this was not where I wanted my video to go as I think too much seriousness limits audiences in a lot of ways, especially in this case as my goal should be to inform as many people as possible, not just those already eco-conscious as they are likely aware of all of this. I am trying to inform those who are more unaware.

Although a rating isn't ideal for making adjustments to my project I wanted to see at what level people thought it was currently at using a 1-10 rating.

I felt that my questions covered a good number of areas but with this being quite a personally subjective topic I wanted to give the opportunity for people to express any other thoughts they may have had about the project. The suggestion of a ‘longer into to set up what the video is about to say’ really interests me especially following the point about possibly including more information surrounding each point. I think that outlining from the start that the video exists to be informally informative would help people to engage with it more easily. I can see that the point where the nature of the video becomes clear is closer to the end, which may stop people interpreting the earlier information as effectively as they are too busy trying to think of what the video is trying to communicate. Across my testing and feedback of this infographic I have collated a lot of useful information which I can use to make amendments to my video. Specifically my first goal is to make the text more readable where necessary and from there I will fix the issues with the timing and duration of text. At this point I hope to text another demo to see if this has fixed those problems and if so, I can add some finishing touches to the visual styling. Overall though I have found both the survey and the focus group really interesting in highlighting areas where I can improve the video and also giving me more confidence to keep going with it as the data suggests people are affected by and learning as a result of it which to me is a huge success.

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kameliendame · 7 years ago

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I never saw your review/opinion - what did you think about POB's Swan Lake (the live webcast last year with Amandine Albisson, Mathieu Ganio and François Alu)?

Ive received asks about this before, im just gonna copypaste my answers in this ask if you dont mind! its too much to rewrite everything again. Warning: its really long.

(1) YES I DID AND I LOVED IT! This is the best ballet Nureyev has produced, nothing like any of his other works. He kept it quite minimalistic not only with the choreography but also with the sets and costumes. I love the pastel theme in the first act and then the continuation of those colours in the third act but with darker hues like purple and magenta. It’s stunning. As for the dancing, it couldnt get any better. The corps de ballet danced SO WELL, they are all extremely neat and precise and i do not get why people said their technique arent up to standard at all. Highlights of the evening for me was the corps dancing in the first act, especially Gorse, Park, Bourdon and Visocchi as the four leading ladies, and Thibault and Hurel in the Neapolitan dance. They were on a completely other level. I get that there are young dancers with lots of potential in the company but they dont even come close to the artistry, stage presence and musicality of the more expierenced dancers. I was a bit underwhelmed by the pas de trois, (Louvet/O'Neill/Baulac) especially compared by the magic that Thibault and Hurel produced when they were on stage for a criminally short time. It wasnt bad but surrounding all the hype around these three i expected more of them. They werent particularly musical (but i blame the conductor for that, the tempo was too slow and didnt allow them to dance properly) or brought out anything out of the choreography, they just ticked all the technical boxes. It was quite bland if you ask me. If these people are supposed to be next in line to be étoile they have a LOT of work to do. Instead I was more impressed by dancers of the corps, Fanny Gorse and Aubane Philbert in particular were beautiful swans with gorgeous épaulement. Bourdon and Park danced with the authority of Odette and were overcast as Big Swans. Visocchi and Révillion were a dream pairing, Marque and Kirscher moved with stylish grace and looked like they could bend gravity at their will. Joannides was a very lively and vibrant Princess. I also liked Raveau and Colasante in the Spanish dance, they had fleshed out characters and real chemistry together. What an improvement since I last saw them together in Le Palais. Thats all I can think of right now! Yes I know I havent said anything about Ganio/Albisson/Alu, but I didnt quite know what to think of their performance so I’m gonna rewatch it today and see what I can make of it. I was left with mixed feelings and some thoughts that I cant exactly put to words so maybe watching it again will make things more clear for me.

(2) I agree with you on that, I had some doubts about her being chosen for the broadcast, but after rewatching it I have changed my mind. Although I do have some criticism about her performance. The problem with Albisson is that it takes her a very long time to get in character. It was the same with her Juliet and Giselle and now also with her Odette/Odile. When I saw her Juliet she didnt warm up to Ganio until the wedding scene, which is like halfway through the ballet already! Her Giselle performance went like that too, her first act was mediocre at best. This is a problem because ballets like these are about love at first sight, even if it is an artistic choice of her to be distant at first it doesnt make any sense because it clashes with the narrative. Her first act Odette was extremely cold, detached and absent overall, she looked awkward in the pas de deux, as if she didnt want to be there in the first place. It strangely reminded me of the pas de deux in the Firebird where Ivan Tsarevich catches the Firebird and she tries to get away. I did not feel like Odette was falling in love with Siegfried at all, not even gradually. There was zero chemistry between the two. I dont think she even looked him straight in the eye once during the pas de deux. But I must add that she was up to the task technically, aesthetically and musically. Albisson is a very musical dancer who actually listens to the music and follows it accordingly. She doesnt linger in her steps but reacts to any change in the music instantly. It was very nice to watch and the only good thing about her Act II performance. She might have been emotionally stunted at first but, when she does get in character, my god, what a stupendous dancer she is! She finally warmed up in the third act, when a deliciously evil Odile enters the scene, and immediately you know what shes after: Siegfrieds heart. Every moment, every tilt of the head was directed towards him. It resulted in an extremely engaging pas de deux where she finally acknowledges Ganio’s presence, none of which happed just one act before. She went for the stereotypical smirky-face, sharp and jerky movements Odile (which I absolutely hate) but for some reason it worked for her (and it didnt annoy me as it usually does). She was a bewitching Odile with an electrifying gaze piercing right through Siegfried but she used that gaze not only on him but also on the audience, as if she wanted to enchant every single person on stage and in the audience. What a magnificent performance. In the third act there was nothing left of the tepid Odette of Act II, she danced with more abandon and recklesness, completely throwing herself in Siegfrieds arms. It was a fitting reaction to his betrayal.

Some thoughts on Ganio: I have never liked him and everytime I see him dance I am more convinced that I do not like his dancing. So far ive seen his Desire, Romeo and now Siegfried, and there is literally no difference between the three. Zero. I have tried so many times to see what’s so special about him but I just cant. He is an extremely boring dancer who does not know how to portray a character that isnt a cutout cardboard of a princely figure. There is no nuance in his performance, nothing that makes you think the person on stage is an actual person with a motive. He just comes on stage, dances his variation and afterwards I dont even remember he was there. He’s like the male Svetlana Zakharova. Technically and physically gifted but has got nothing more to offer than that.

Thoughts on Alu: “Just because Im not cast as Siegfried doesnt mean I cant be the star of the show” was probably his main thought before he took on this role!!!!! The best Rothbart Ive ever seen! He made it look like he was the main character and siegfried and odette were mere pawns in his masterplan (whatever that was - killing siegfried maybe??) Here was a fleshed out character with a story to tell and motives to his actions, a true dancer-actor to the bone. Im sitting here still in awe of his magnificent jumps in the third act variation. He made Ganio look even more bleak and one dimensional in comparison. And not to mention he almost outdanced Ganio and Albisson with that variation and with the roaring bravos and applause he got afterwards I think many would agree with me.

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black-john-lennon-archive · 7 years ago

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Kay’s Glee Episode Ranking: 72. The Backup Plan

The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

This episode feels like filler and then I remember that season 5 was short by 2 episodes, and I think this episode suffers because of it? It sets up stories that are over fairly quickly and aside from Rachel’s story, the rest are not picked up in season 6.

The friendship between Mercedes and Santana has always been a favorite of mine because there is a level of respect there that I enjoy. And again, once taken out of the toxic environment of McKinley, Mercedes and Santana are able to be real friends. The thing about Mercedes, and she’s paralleled with Kurt here, is that she wants to share her success. Kurt offers Blaine the option to perform with him when he gets an opportunity to perform for June Dolloway and Mercedes is told her album is missing something and so she offers to bring in Santana. The funny thing is, even though she’s initially paralleled with Santana, she ultimately is in teh position Blaine’s in where she puts everything on the line to share with Santana. Santana turns it down, she doesn’t wasnt to cost Mercedes anything. Blaine, well, he Blaines. More on that later.

The ugly is Rachel’s story in that i don’t really understand why she is so quick to leave Broadway after fighting so hard to get it, but i guess the true story is ultimately that she’s not ready. When your dream comes true at 19, then what? But it just felt out of character for her to risk it the way that she did.

Favorite Performance:

Definitely “Doo Wop that Thing” because Lauryn Hill is amazing, and Santana and Mercedes are amazing together.

Least Favorite Performance:

I really wanted Glee to cover Janice Joplin, but I wanted it to be Santana or Tina or Marley singing it. I know she’s a legend, but Shirley Maclaine sounds awful on this.

Quotes:

Rachel: “Look, that homeless guy is sleeping on my face. New York really is where dreams come true.”

Blaine: “It’s drama school. The students get abuzz when the snack machine runs out of gummy worms.”

Meta Moment:

I think one of the big themes at the end of season 5 was getting your “dream” and it not being what you thought it would be. Rachel gets her dream role at 19, fresh out of high school, right before Finn dies. So what do you do with the rest of your life when the thing you expected to be working so hard for comes right away. And the other dream you had died in Lima with Finn?

And Mercedes is recording her album, but she’s a bit lonely. When Mercedes went to The Troubletones, she had Santana and Brittany with her. She had her choir at church even when she didn’t have Glee club. She wants to share this with Santana, but she’s turned down. She’ll eventually take Santana and Brittany on tour with her.

And Blaine. He has his “dream” with Kurt, which he always put first and foremost. And here’s someone telling him not to do that. But when you have your dream relationship, you’re engaged and you’re 18 and school isn’t quite going as well as it could be, but you have this potential to have your professional dreams come true, you’re supposed to share that with your fiance, right? The lesson Mercedes and Blaine learn in this episode is that you have to get your success first, then you can bring other people along with you.

#Kay's Glee Episode Ranking

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unproduciblesmackdown · 8 years ago

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kalphablog-blog · 6 years ago

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Coastal. Uisce beatha. Potential. Warm. Welcoming.

“The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.” ― James Joyce

Clonakilty, a town an hour south of Cork and almost on the coast is steeped full of a rich history. Once known for its brewery and smuggling, it looks set to become world-famous for its whisky. Situated on the south coast of Ireland it is quite the drive from the North of Ireland, but totally worth it. It is an area of outstanding natural beauty. The scene was set for the perfect day and it turned out to be just that.

After exploring the south coast, we made our way to Clonakilty, we first walked through the streets of the town taking in the sights. It was a quiet morning and maybe the reason for the lack of activity was everyone was still in bed working off the night before, which did happen to be St Patricks Day. We stopped at a lovely local café for some breakfast and then headed across to the distillery for the 11:00 tour.

If you are approaching the town from Cork/the East, the distillery will be one of the first buildings that catches your eye as you drive into the town. It would hard not to miss it, standing tall and proud. It is one of the most modern buildings and simply stunning. The glass front gives the passer-by a glimpse of the beautiful stills that sit at the front of the distillery. We parked in the distillery car park and made our way in.

We were met with the warmest of welcomes which can be rare on a bank holiday (most people working on a public holiday aren’t the happiest, I know I wouldn’t be). The two ladies who met us quickly checked I had received my refund as I had stupidly ordered too many tickets. It was the attention to detail and little things that really impressed me. We turned out to be the only ones on the tour that morning apart from one other staff member from the bistro who was training. Our tour guide for the day was Mary and you couldn’t have wished for a better guide. The tour began in the distillery shop which we were then taken outside and around to the beginning spot for the tour which is outside the building. You then climb a flight of stairs and the magic begins.

The first room is a detailed and immersive history of Clonakilty, the distillery and its owners. It was at this point I began to realize that although it is a fairly new distillery, there is a lot of history and work that has happened so that the distillery stands there today. It is rare to see a new distillery with already a rich history. Founded by the Scully family, a local family, they have cultivated the coastal land of Ireland for eight successive generations. Obviously therefore this distillery will become one of the few to have grain to bottle spirits. Another distillery also doing this is Echlinville Distillery which we absolutely love. The barley is grown in fields right on the coast and therefore it gains characteristics from the constant sea spray. They really do say it best.

“Our fields at the base of Galley Head Lighthouse are the perfect environment to nurture and grow the finest of crops. Centuries of sea mist, soft rain and ocean spray provide a complexity to the soil that permeates right through to each individual grain.”

Also a note for any visiting tourists, a recommendation from our guide is to have a walk up by the lighthouse and of course Inchydoney beach.

You then sit down for a short video covering the people and the distillery, it is a beautifully shot film and is easier to digest for those who prefer video to written text. The video details the whiskey and distillery’s beginnings and is a well-rounded introduction to what you are about to experience.

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Once you are finished the video you make your way to the upper level of the distillery to the mill room and a view of the main distillery floor. Up here you can really appreciate the surrounding area, the town of Clonakilty and the beauty of the three stills. Mary very intelligently brought us through the initial processes of whiskey making. A process we are all too familiar with from our many distillery explorations but nevertheless she kept it interesting and engaging.

We then made our way down to the distillery floor which we were taken through the processes of whiskey making from fermentation to distillation. I would go through it in detail here but I wouldn’t want to spoil the magic for anyone visiting the distillery. Their process is similar to that of any distillery and it is clearly all to a high standard. You also get to see the still in which their gin is distilled. Their gin – Minke – was how we came to learn of the distillery when they launched it at the Gin Experience in Dublin. Since that first sip we truly fell in love. This time however we were here to taste the whiskey.

Before we could taste, there was one very crucial stage left, in fact possibly the most important stage in any whiskey – maturation. This is where a whiskey truly picks up its character. Clonakilty have really jumped into the art of this, with using port, cognac and many other barrel types. Again this part is best explained on video. This was in one of the most amazing rooms I have been in.

The distillery is beautifully decorated beginning to end but it is in the aging room that the interior truly shines. A glamorous long wooden table is surrounded by embroidered chairs and all lit with old Russian warehouse lighting. The attention to detail is spot on and I am sure I missed many more details. My favourite was the stunning metal whale tail mounted on the wall.

Clonakilty’s whiskey is finished at their Atlantic Ocean maturation warehouse and this creates even more character given the cool salty sea air that the barrels will sit in.

The above picture shows the charring on the inside of the wooden barrels that give the whiskey its flavour and colour. The charring creates those caramel tones and brings out the oils in the wood further. The aging process and advancement of colour is demonstrated in a beautiful cupboard.

We then moved into the speakeasy to taste the whiskey, the part everyone is the most excited for.

After a fantastic in-depth tour – Mary also took us through our tasting. We had opted for the connoisseur tasting. We were to try three whiskeys – the core Small Batch, the Cognac Cask finish and the Distillery exclusive a Single Malt Single Cask. Before the whiskey tasting we were offered something we had never been offered before at any distillery. Bearing in mind we have been to countless distilleries, this was shocking. Mary offered the driver, three small miniatures to pour the remainders of their tastings so they didn’t go to waste. Again it was the little touches and attention to detail that made this distillery so wonderful. After establishing who was going to drive we went on with the tasting.

I truly believe at every distillery we learn something new and this was no different. This time it was in how to nose the whiskey. I already knew to open my mouth so the vapors also flow through your nose and touch the back of your tongue on the way past, but this time Mary instructed us to pass it by our noses three times in a circular motion to get our palettes used to the smell. This really helped and is a trick I have used since.

The first tasting was the Small Batch, the core whiskey of their range. Served in the perfect whiskey tasting glass you receive a generous amount. First we were encouraged to observe the colour and appearance of the whiskey, then to observe the “legs” of the whiskey. All this before even tasting and we were learning so much about the whiskey just from its appearance. We then moved on to nose the whiskey using the above technique, almost tasting the whiskey as the vapours pass down your neck. Finally then getting to taste the whiskey.

The tasting like the nosing of the whiskey was done in a unique way too. Far too many times I have been to a distillery and been told countless flavours that I should be tasting, at Clonakilty this was quite the opposite. Mary sat back and allowed us to taste the whiskey for ourselves and for once without the guidance of flavour profiles, it allowed our palates to work naturally. We were able to taste what we tasted instead of what we were “supposed to”. I must be honest to start with I felt a little lost without knowing what I should be tasting, but I soon found my feet and it made for a very enjoyable and mind-opening tasting. It truly was a fantastic way to make the taster carve their own experience.

The small batch is a silky smooth whiskey and really is a good core whiskey for them to have. Usually this is the whiskey that will sell the most and be tasted the most, so it is an important foundation to get correct for any distillery. I think the Double Gold it won at the San Francisco Spirits Competition really speaks for itself. I of course picked up a bottle from the distillery shop.

The second tasting was the Cask Finish Series, which was the Cognac finish. If you are a cognac lover but would like to dabble in whiskey, this is the one for you. Any cognac drinker who has tasted our bottle has loved it. At 43.6% you would expect it to have quite the burn but it is wonderfully smooth and is elevated with a few drops of water

The final tasting was a distillery exclusive, a single malt aged in Bourbon casks. Personally I am not a fan of single malts, it has too much of a waxy aftertaste for me. That is totally a personal preference and I can still appreciate a good single malt. This had all the personality of a single malt and wasnt as repellant to me as some single malts. So I’d say its pretty fantastic for any single malt lovers!

Our tasting and distillery experience was sublime and I will certainly be returning with friends if in the area again. There is so much undiscovered beauty on the south coast of Ireland and it is places like clonakilty distillery that make the trip there so worthwhile.

We finished our tour and of course picked up some bottles in the shop to bring home. Even the interior design of the gift shop is brilliant. After purchasing our bottles with a discount from the tour ticket, we popped them in the car and made our way back into the bistro for a fantastic lunch.

A gem of the irish coastline and name I think the whiskey industry will be speaking for a long time.

The Tipsy Times: Clonakilty Distillery @clonakiltydistillery Coastal. Uisce beatha. Potential. Warm. Welcoming. “The light music of whisky falling into glasses made an agreeable interlude.”

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siphen0 · 6 years ago

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***Spoilers Below***

It’s crazy how big some of these movies blow up when out for a limited time in theaters. I remember the theater being packed when the My Hero Academia movie released, so it was no shock that the same thing could be seen for Dragon Ball Super: Broly. It really makes you wonder why they don’t simply release these movies like everything else in North America. Either way, here we are with this new addition to the Dragon Ball Super franchise, and who wouldn’t want to see the Broly movie that those who have already seen it are raving about?

Upon seeing this movie myself, I couldn’t help but have mixed reactions about this movie in contrast to the other two. Don’t get me wrong, at the end of the day I enjoyed this movie, however there was a lot of things they did risky going back to the times of Planet Vegeta and the origin of Broly.

Let’s start with the positives of this movie. The pacing was great. The pacing and the momentum of this story carried over from the same things they did with the Tournament of Power. Not too much time talking unless necessary is always a plus. There was plenty of set-up and things to address about the points in time that this story took place, but we never spent too much time on dialogue over action. I mean, if we wanted that, we could easily go back to the tv series. While plenty of the past was also rehashed, there was just as much new content added to those last moments before the end of the Saiyan race. It was also welcomed that there was more perspective to take from what was going through everyone’s heads at that time. The twisting of Broly’s origins was something to get used to. You get so used to this berserk giant who was just simply out of control and angry because of the baby who wouldn’t let him sleep in peace. Now they’ve added more context to his situation and with greater motivation to hate both Goku and Vegeta. The addition of his father as well was interesting since he steered the direction of this vengeance quite effortlessly. It was obvious seeing where things could go wrong, but it was the role he played that mattered more than anything else.

Planet Vampa nonetheless was a creative destination to send Broly. The exploration of this planet made it easy to understand how Broly would be was raised with that burning desire for vengeance and develop this “unbelievable power”. The exploration in general was a treat since some of the most appealing aspects of Super are the things that we discover beyond Earth.

The difference in Goku and Vegeta stood out from the very start, and that was something worth recognizing for their usual habits that would have gotten pretty old in this movie. They had their moments of playfulness, they had more moments where they took this situation seriously. Overall, they had their heads in the game from start to finish which left little room for predictable errors on their part. The stunts they pulled in the other two movies would have made no sense to risk trying again when the enemy is Broly.

Compared to Battle of the Godz and Resurrection F, Broly is the most action-packed. I mean, off the bat they already did better than the other two movies just for cutting all the cannon fodder. Too many times these stories will lean into everyone getting the crap beat out of them, and then Goku and Vegeta swooping in to save the day. You know, because they can never be there from the start when you need them. This changed things up where we were able to jump right into the fire. The choreography of the fights was the best thing that this movie had going for it. It went without saying that Super as a whole stands out because it took us back to a place where the fighting styles and techniques outweighed everything else. The shift in stances, many counters, and just the flow of one move into the next made all of it so engaging. The only time you could be taken out of the fight is when they start leaning on blasting and effects that are for the most part unneeded. How Frieza was even dragged into the fight was highly entertaining. You just knew that seeing Frieza in gold form had to mean that he was involved in some way. That was actually my favorite moment since he wasn’t entirely taking this seriously until forced to.

Frieza truthfully was a source of humor that I did not expect. We all wondered what his plans would be now that he’s alive again, and this did not disappoint. We learn that nothing has changed entirely for the guy, but he at least thinks before he acts now. Particularly when it came to that one thing that would drive Broly into full berserk mode.

I couldn’t help but have some issues with the transition between the last story arc and this movie. Everyone seemed so blown away by the power of Broly, but this isn’t the first time that any of them encountered this kind of power. Kale and Kefla are the first experience that these two have had against that power level, and they defeated someone with that power level. So what makes Broly so different. Is it because he’s just Broly? A big plothole if you ask me. Especially if they are bold to even throw it in there that Broly could surpass Beerus. Impossible when that kind of power hasn’t even been put to the test against Ultra Instinct. Next we have the power difference between Vegeta and Goku. I was cool with the idea that Vegeta already mastered Red. However, if he was still excelling at this rate, how does Super Saiyan Blue Vegeta have a harder time with Broly than Goku? I know I wasn’t the only one bothered by this too.

Despite the action being able to excite, there was the problem of the animation style which took over when key action sequences were executed. It looked like they pretty much stole the animation style of the videogames. If there’s one way to distract a viewer, it is with drastic changes to the visuals. Especially when you are jumping back and forth between 2D and 3D. I would have preferred something of just a higher quality like what they did with the bigger fights from the Tournament of Power. That was smarter decision-making. This was not.

I would never say that this movie was overhyped, because that is a personal problem. What I will say is that this movie didn’t completely meet expectations. Dragon Ball Super: Broly was action-packed, it was thrilling, and it was humorous. I admittedly laughed more than I thought I would. There just happened to be one too many things that they took risks on that ultimately did not pay off.

Dragon Ball Super: Broly Review ***Spoilers Below*** It's crazy how big some of these movies blow up when out for a limited time in theaters.

#anime #Broly #DBS #Dragon Ball #Dragon Ball Super #Dragon Ball Super: Broly #movie review #Movies #review #spotlight

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jemreboot · 7 years ago

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Ok this is super long but this is something I came up with for the comic aka The Bombers

The Bombers

The Bombers who are referenced to have been in the battle of the bands from the beginning and ended up as a runner from it first appear as an opening act for the Stingers but it turns out oh noes! they have gotten really good in the time since then. Much like the Holograms are to the Misfits, they end up in a feud with the Stingers when their lead singer insults them over a minor issue. Thus beginning more drama for all three other major bands

some more facts

I made them Stingers rivals because I always wanted them to have a true blood rival .

They don’t have stage names like most of the Holograms.

They are the most co-ed band.

Their lead singer can sing higher notes than anyone else in the series (high C).

Also their bassist is the only charecter who is engaged or has a kid.

Only male drummer or guitarist.

Profiles (Main band I also have a groupie charecter but they will be done later)

Name: Amy Ibanez

Lead singer

age 24

height 5′7

ethnicity:Bolivian and African American.

from Bakersfield California

Amy today is known for her diva and sore loser antics but she was not always this way. Born to a Bolivian father and American mother as a child she was quite shy. However she had quite a evident talent for music at an early age. In high school she was a member of the schools singing group despite being a backround member to the favored member of the group who always sang lead (is evantually she left the group becoming much more assertive probably a little too much so. In her early twenties, she began what became The Bombers.

facts

Highest vocal range in the series.

More subdued than Pizzazz actually unless her ego with winning gets in the way,

Her and Minx hate each other so much they always have to be kept apart.

Did gymnastics when she was younger and still watches it professionally all the time .

Leon Kazuo

Age:22

Height

5′8

ethnicity: Japanese

from Cincinatti Ohio (I have to have at least one charecter from Ohio)

One of the more subdueded members of the band, and the second to join, Leon had always been playing guitar since he was younger but only recently started playing it professionally. He is also insanely good at tennis to the point where no one else on the band will play him (it might also have to do with them accidentally getting hit in the face with the ball a few times, with at one point him hitting even Roxy with it, it didnt end well)

He is the second charecter to be transgender (FTM) but is not too open about it due to some negative backlash to it (including his best childhood friend rejecting him) he evantually does become good friends with Blaze.

facts

I’ve changed his dealing with his being trans a few times since I was afraid it came across as too insensitive

wasnt able to transition until after high school

The Cincinatti Reds can do no wrong according to him nope none.

Also has to watch all the major tennis finals every single year.

Peri Murray

age: 23

Height 5′10

ethnicity:African-American

keyboard

from Hartford Connecticut

Peri is the resident eccentic of the band and suprisingly, the main songwriter. she is one of the more socially awkward charecters obsessed with Godzilla and telling people about her theories of aliens being real. She is also basically joined at the hip with Casey (the drummer ) and they are quite insufferable together.

Much like a few other charecters, Peri had a not so great childhood born into a ultra wealthy family, it was made clear from the beginning that her parents love was conditional in that she was expected to be a proper heiress. Unlike Pizzazzs parents who were never around Peris were always around to keep tabs on her to make sure she stayed in line. In elementry school she discovered the keyboard and wanted to play it but her family shunned this seeing this as an improper career. In middle school she met Casey, who lived there at the time and was the first person who unconditionally accepted her and encouraged her interest in the keyboard. She ended up forming a band in secret but her parents found out and kept an even tighter leash on her .

When she was 18 she ran away from home to California with only 140 dollars to her name and was reconnected with Casey they joined a band and were evantually discovered by Amy and Leon.

Her family has essentially written her off as dead to them but she doesnt care since her band is more of a family than they ever were to her

facts

has to be some sort of urban legand monster every year for halloween and isnt allowed to hand out candy anymore after scaring the kids.

The aloofness was partially based off Zakuro from Tokyo Mew Mew as she wlll literally walk off mid conversation sometimes.

Is not meant to be read as Autistic (before you ask i’m autistic myself) but her eccentries are more due to her never having the oppertunity to have a normal childhood.

Casey Parsons

age 24:

height 5′11

ethnicity:White

drummer

From Sacramento California

Casey is notorious for being increadibly high energy people often remark that someone like him is born for the drums. Sadly he is also known for keeping people up super late within the band as well.

Even as a child, Casey was known for his high energy levels and was frequently bullied for it. He evantually met Peri who was his only friend for a while until he had to move back to Sacremento he started out as a singer but soon found out he was quite a prodigy with the drums and joined a band once reconnected with Peri.

Facts

Yes, he is indeed meant to have ADHD. (I have it too so its partially based on experience.)

Has to see every superhero movie and no one would ever go with him to one again after he insisted on giving Fantastic 4 (and he ended up getting kicked out for heckling the charecters.)

He and Peri are so close that multiple people ask if they are dating yet.

The big male drama king of the series. (Riot doesnt scream every other word)

Gina Ercolani

Age 26

height 5′5

ethnicity: Sicilian

from Washington DC

bass guitar

The mother bear of the group despite her intimidating apperence due to her many piercings and tattoos, is one of the nicest charecters in the series. This may be due to the fact she is the only charecter to have a child, she is also the only engaged charecter being so to their current manager.

Born into a Sicilian family in a meh neighborhood, Gina first started playing the guitar when she was in 7th grade. Out of highschool she ended up fronting a band and met her now fiance .

However one thing led to another and she ended up getting pregnant despite being only 22 at the time she decided to keep them with her leaving the band temporarly to do so. Unfourtuntatly, she leaves the band once she realizes they are treating her differently for having a child while not being married.

for a while her and her husband and child have to live in a one room apartment while raising money to move to LA. Leon ends up being the one to discover her while she is performing at a bar

facts

Is pretty much the only one who can get Amy to shut up.

One of the few charecters who just want the bands to get along and is nice to everyone.

However she is truly terrifying if you try to hurt her band or child .(ESPECIALLY her child)

Feodor Yefmin

Age 23

height 5′9

Ethnicity: Russian-American

Can play guitar but is really their graphic designer.

Originally from Yakutsk, Sakha Republic, Russia but spent most of his life in Fairbanks, Alaska.

Feodor despite being able to sub in for guitar, and being in a band in the past his real talent lies in graphic design for the band.

Born in the SIberian city of Yakutsk (the coldest city in the world)he and his family emigrated to Fairbanks Alaska when he was two. Growing up he showed an interest in both art ,and music and showed promise in each. After graduating high school he went to LA to study graphic design and had a band on the side. He was then discovered yet it was the art ability which really convinced the Bombers to recruit him.

He is also increadibly annoyed by the fact Riot is apprentaly in love with him like your “charisma” is not impressing me, go away.

facts

Is not a main part of the band but is such an important part I had to do a profile.

Is the first gay male in the series.

Very posessive of his laptop (thinks everyone is going to delete his stuff)

Also the first person that doesn’t fall for Riots flirting (although Jem is relieved he at least likes someone else)

May seem like Techrat but is much more socially open then him. (and he genuinally does care about the band quite deeply actually.)

Apologies for any grammer errors,I tried my best to look over and be as accurate as possible it's just hard for me to read and see them sometimes.

#idw jem #submission

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astraltraveller · 7 years ago

Text

Learning after November 2016

There have been 4 instances after November. In those times, I realized a few things.

PK wanted to date and continued to message for a while and continues to, almost a year later. I’m not sure what he expects of me when I do. I will still be single at that time but I just don’t really get what he wants from this if I really don’t see myself dating him. The interesting thing is that he really did want to date, asap, even knowing that he was a rebound. And still does.

CJ has always been into me and has always made it clear, even when I wasn’t single. The narrative only became more intense after the breakup actually happened. Multiple hangouts, kissing the first time and more the second. Made it clear that if he wasn’t going to HK, that he would date. Someone he could envision spending you know, a long time together. Liking how I argue and knows how to do it.

AF is someone that I was genuinely into enough when we first started talking. Enough that I started to look forward to seeing him at the gym and liking his invitation for “coffee”. Liking that he was moving things slowly at a gradual pace, not unlike G, who was much too blunt and fast. I liked that he was engaged, and had a different kind of maturity. No weird mocking or tone at that time. I liked that he was interested in what I did and was never over the top. Just all around polite, not cringe, and seemed seasoned. After the drinks, I was interested. The first was at Duke and Devon outside. . Said I left with a cold hug, but to be fair, I wasn’t sure if this was where things were going. the second was also at Mengrai, followed by a walk at the park, the same one with AP. It was fun and we talked about personal things, but somehow I didn’t like being so close to him physically. It started with some leg stroking very lightly. There was some handholding that was oh-so-awkward... clearly I wasn’t into it the way I think he was expecting. We weren’t even holding hands properly. It felt clinical. I was horny but not enough to want to actually engage... would have liked to take it slower, beer or not. Then he went in for the kiss which I admit was exciting and where I had been interested in seeing it go, but not sure if I actually wanted to be the one experiencing it. It was nice. But this guy was clearly all over me and standing over me all strange in public at the park bench. I’m not sure how I felt about it. The walk back to union was the first indication of his fetishes. not sure how I felt about it. Not good. was a bit turned off and confused that he was looking for something too soon. The next times at gym, it was talk of the fondling and what happened, but i didn’t feel sparks the way I had wanted to. There was slight mentioning of “his place” but I wasn’t quite sure about it. The next time we met, it was Gioranna’s with half a bottle of wine, the car fiasco, and as i was in my patch escapade, it was all above the waist downstairs. Then was that fight later that night, which to me, was more than anything an indication of me testing his limits and also preventing whatever what was happening from going too much further. It ended in the car with me saying that this whole situation was nothing like I had been through before. A passed wife, him being 18 years my senior, moving so quickly, a different kind of experience. A bit too much detail on his fetishes. Next was Kalyvia, where things happened. I liked it. I will admit that I was so, so satisifed and couldn’t stop thinking about it, was definitely rare for what it was and with who it was. There were other days of drinks after gym, but already at this point I realized it was just lust for what was fun. I will admit that I was still at least slightly uncertain about my feelings about him. The more time I spent, the more I realized it was purely physical. The emotioanl connection was dwindling fast - it was always talking about what we had done and what we would do next and what he liked, but I was uncomfrotable with PDA, kissing, holding hands in public, etc. I was not dating him. “I’m not in a position to date” is what I have been saying for the past while. That is not true. I am ready to date. Whether it’s getting back with my ex or committing to someone new, I am ready but whatever is next will likely not be my last relationship. I’m a baby. But what I truly meant is “I don’t want to date you, but i want to spare your feelings so I will tell you that I don’t want to date *anyone* because life is not right for it”. But how can that be? 1. If you care enough about someone and you don’t want to lose them to someone else, you will want to date them. 2. I’ve been told this recently and I know what a load of bullshit it is. It’s a cop-out. The more you insist, the less I believe that you are being “honest”. Regardless. After that experience, it got to the point where I would find a lot of our interactions cringey. I hated his mocking, childish chiding tone about “working out together”, “cinderella, call me cin”, and a bunch of other crap I uncovered when I took his offer to stay over at his place for what reason, I don’t know. I regretted the decision more and more as I got through the day. And by the time it was time for dinner and we started talking about sports, I was seriously dreading how much longer it was until it was time to go home. I couldn’t wait for an early morning because I could leave him sooner. It was the first time I felt, this is what it must feel like to be sleeping with someone or spending nights with someone you just absolutely abhor. It’s an awful feeling and one would always choose to be alone if they could. I hate how he argues. He does a terrible, terrible job at it and is way too defensive. Saying things like “I knew that” when I said I don’t like beaches, then saying “actually I didn’t”.... “I knew that” was his first jump to defensiveness when it’s time for him to face something he iddn’t know. and that discussion about the bell curve? not my first time either. and you know what else is cringe? when he goes on and on and on about the finance language. it’s classic, the ones who know the least and like the image of knowing about finance/their specialty (ie. crystal savin) and show it off as an accessory, are the ones who are the most vocal about certain acronyms because they don’t have the internal confidence in their own knowledge. I ihated him dropping those acronyms or, like that night I spent over, me saying “opportunity” or “intrinsic” suddenly meant “opportunity cost” or “intrinsic value”. I absolutely hate it when people have to go out of their way to flaunt some kind of feature and try to hard. If you are smart, it will speak for itself. As will wealth, which will come through in class and in how you carry yourself, not in what you carry or what you say. I absolutely hate every time he does that, and I cannot imagine who will not be able to see through it. Everyone will. It is so cringe and exactly what I dn’t like, and it’s so sad that it came out after we had a chance to talk more. The night over was one of the most uncomfortable nights of my life. The first round was alright, a mini version of the previous. But I was just not in the mood for more and I was absolutely revolted at his attitude during the dinner and while at his place. The part where he talked about his passed mother and brother were more scary than anything, which is why I sat up and listened in the dead of the night. The next morning, I was already uncomfortable enough and then it became something worse. I hate his poorly hemmed and tailored pants and shirt - this has shattered my perception of people working in the financial district as people who are all equally seasoned. Then his need to say that the coffee was greek and therefore that meant it was strong. And him making this freaking loud conversation on the train at 8:30 in the morning in the lower level where everyone is slseeping, saying vocally what I do when i’m sleeping, saying how many job opportunities he gets offered through linkedin that end up in his spam - you think you’re special? - and still using freaking hotmail! I felt so uncomfortable that night and honestly I didn’t want to even look at him the rest of the way. oh god, andh im bragging while we were waiting for the train at danforth go that he used to jump into the tracks for fun, using “being drunk” as an excuse, and then saying that he used to “Be a badass”. I just... that doesn’t make you a badass, and being drunk when doing shit like that is not something you should be proud off. I texted later because I felt bad knowing that he did let me stay over, paid for half the dinner, and did confide in me wiht some very personal things... but no more. no more dinners, no more drinks, and absolutely heck NO MORE NIGHTS STAYING OVER. sex? maybe. I don’t know. but it’s a mental turn off to an extent so sudden and so repulsing for me that i honestly don’t see myself getting drawn to this and paying the price of some time just for (honestly) the biggest I’ve had. and I like that it was very, very, very involved, experience, and pleasure-centered for me.

Also, “Bristol Board”? I can’t believe I didn’t remember how annoying that was before I really confirmed staying over.

VG: this one’s a weird one. im not sure how to describe how i feel about this iether becuase it was just a few days ago and it was jarring. as i said, every guy ive ever been intimate with has etiher full on dated me or had expressed interest in dating me (PK, AF) or has told me that if they weren’t moving halfway across the world (CJ), would date, that they have always wanted, and that they can imagine a future being a petty lil couple. im just gonna say what comes to mind becuase i dont have an analysis on exactly wher ethis is going or what exactly happened. i also think the entire sitaution is been very cryptic and that i am possibly at fault for trying to see what wasnt there. its not esperation because i dont need to be with someone. how i would describe it is that we had intriguigin conversations many times over the course of a few months. we exchanged stories about sex, relatoinships, and the parat that strikes me is when he was talking about this one girl (russian?) who thought that was into her but it wasn’t really that way. did i become taht person? the hard part, is do you really invite people for drinks twice that you aren’t intersted in knowing more about? it’s ok if we are just frinds, but is that really what we are? i would not accept drinks iwht someon iwasn’t into. i wouldn’t hug someone after drinks that iwasn’t into. i woudln’t ask for a second time. l wouldn’t message them regularly or try to talk to them everyday that i see them. andi most defintiely wouldnt talk about bringing them over for drinks if i didnt want to spend time with them one on one in my place. i used to be the pedantic googler who would check every site adn figure out “WHY DID HE DO THIS WHAT DOES IT MEAN?” but really it seems to be that this is all some kind of strange ruse. none of it is real. in hidnsight i should have googled “what does it mean when a guy invites you over to his place for drinks alone one-on-one”? is that really platonic? if it is, then why doesn’t it feel platonic? why am i not doing that with all my male friends, and why, when that has hapened, has there been some sort of interest (if only them towards me?) i felt trickd and hurt when that happened. i dont want to go over the top and dig out high school me, but things were not always completely non-indicative in the office. nor were they non-indicative the first time we did something outside, which was sin and redemption or some white bar. which i didnt let go to my head, because that was normal until the vanilla comment at which i regret making, and which was totally platonic anyway because he had some coffee thing after. the second time was the sangria at that sapnish place, where that was a very long chat. he could tell that lester liked me becuase we had talked for hours on end and clealry enjoyed each other’s company, but of cousre suddenly when VG does the same, what is it? you tell me. it was interesting that day aftewrads at the starbucks, and the short thing after saying something about hosting. (before that time, i asked to ramen). then the time after that was at the canaidan very very very whtie bar then impromptu pub crawl to c’est what, and that’s when things go interesting in terms of sex talk and talking deper about stuff that wasnt quite talked about. and that time in the dog park? bzcercy? wtf was that? it was so strange. that was the first indication to me that i might be on the right track, but im starting to feel like it was an undeserved mirage. then were hte messages aafter, which yes ufture me u can go back and read them in all hteir glory. then there was that banter about hosting, which ended up happening, and i was thrilled.

day of, 2pm,some bday thing, “just remembered”, “going till midnight” hahaohahahoahoahaohoa. at this pont, i was displeasured. i was expecting, on guard the whole time, knowing that this was a very certain possibility. and it happened, and i thought maybe this guy was differnet. maybe it’s not what i thought. but you know what all those sites say? when someone has plans after that are more important, it’s becuase you aren’t important. and you should be careful.

4:20pm, how funny now that i actually read that. maybe i should be wary and avoid events that involve 420. a bottle of wine later, i realize that things started taking a downturn the second that they moved to the coach. why the FUCK did you move close to me, and why were you so open to me in the positions i was in, if that was not the intention? a one-night stand? a fuckbuddy? why chase after someone just to let them go? fo rsome reason, which i forgot (alcohol really does do things to your memory) - the conversation got to a point where i moved over and things started. i dont know why. and then i offered to move to the room because, well, most people don’t do this stuff in full view? why did you agree to it? why let me do it? why be in that position? why so into it?

8pm, i realize this was a mistake. i realize he was like all the other guys. problem areas: “would never bring you up again” - not that i want to be up there again. but why? do you have foresight? in what world is bringing up a girl that you have shown previous interest in (ASSUMED, MAY BE INCORRECT.!.!) is supposed to be a chill way to chat? did i read something wrong? you nei ther want to date nor be fuckbuddies, and after tha time i realized that i would never want to date this person in the near future. having a convesration about dating should not be pulling teeth. and there is no worse feeling than knowing that you are in a relationship because someone wnated it more than the other. and when they dont make a move to hide it.

was i emotional because i drank? i dont think so. i was actually gutted. i knew it in my heart of hearts. i knew it because i had just went through one of the most uncomfortable nights of my life with AF thati kn ew i would need afew days to recover from, and i was running confused in all these directions to and from my ex. i realized and showed my ex that i missed his company, misssed how he made me feel, how he was one person i felt fully comfortable with, missed how he didnt make me cringe, didnt make obnoxious music bopping moves with his hands, - no AF - i did not like “hanging out with you” because you had young tendenceis and nonstop talked about freaking “UNDERGROUND” rap artists and 70s rock people. I had just come off such a low that i didn’t disclose to anyone - feltl ike the first time i had a true walk of shame and true disgust at a person when i left AF - that i felt like i went throug something traumatic that i had sadly vountarily put myself through. and i wanted something to mend it, something to show me it was ok, like my ex. but that’s been happening for the past while. and i think maybe a part oaf me hoped that VG would be a solution, something mending for that. i think that contriuted to me being emotional. but i know that it wasnt completely uprooted jus because of AF. I was uprooted and just thrown for a loop because of the realization of what hapened. i dont remember what happened beween the bedroom and the couch and the leaving but i do remember vividly realizing what an awful mistake i had made. and i couldnt blame anyone, just like when i bite my tongue.

“do what you think feels right to you” is the most powerful way you can see someone’strue colours. i had never ever ever cried after sex with someone or spending intimate time with someone for the first time. not with SN, definitey not with PK - iwas over the moon, CJ was a big aha moment and realization of what could have been but the parting felt right, AF was really quite incredible. i think it was his aloofness and actually feeling like crashing down after someone lets you on. dont get me wrong, im a changed person after PK because i raelize that it’s totally possible to be so physically staissfied by someone but so emotionally detached and uninteresed... which was the case for PK and AF, but especially so for AF because of the pseudo-intellectual nature - which is my biggest pet peeve. i dont need to be with someone just because i fuck them. i guarantee that to you. sexual and emotional attraction are two separate things. so that’s how i know deep down that this is not the old undergrad innocent me believing that anytime i engage in something clsoe-knit --- that that must mean im all over the person and need to stick with them. i think this was something different b ecause i really thought he was different. and body language doesn’t lie. but i dont trust body language anymore, not in its ability to say the truth, but in its ability to be the truth and the first line of offense for someone’s decisiosn and choices. i dont know what hte apology or uber serious message is supposed to mean or be about, and i think i spent about 30 seconds seriously thinking about it before just considering it as wiping up some dank mess. but what i learned from this guy, who somehow managed to hurt me more quickly than anyone else ive been with, but yet i could imagine being with, is nto to take people’s actions at face value. all the sites are wrong. do not open yourself up. be careful. look at the people who have been pining after you for a year, trying their damnest to get you back, people who don’t see your message and ignore, people who apologize for a late message, people who don’t bring up a joke that was ignored yesterday with a tardy response, people who when its’ convenient, strike up a conversation and reply reliably over fb (or not). i was about to say that i dont doubt that he’s a good person, but im suddenly apprehensive. i think he is mature. but i dont think that the game that was played was ever in my favor if i had known this was the endgame.

i dont uuslaly write things like this. but a lot has happened over the past year, but particularly over the past 4 months ish, and i would also say over the past 4 weeks. and i want to forget a lot of it. but first i have to put it down, let it all out, trust in myself - the same way i really put a dream to rest once the key words are down - that once this is all said and done, literally, that i make peace with myself.

i guess my body knew, so i downed all that wine. i want to forget a lot of it because it reminds me that i cnanot always be in control, and that everyone has their own hidden agenda. i played the game with AF and got played by VG. even if that wasn’t their intnetion, i felt like i got a taste of my own medicine somehow, even though -- as i type this -- it still doesn’t make total sense becasue i don’t do the invitingfor drinks. I get invited. I guess sometimes yo utake the plunge and are honest, and when you go for it, it’s not what you want. which, for some reason, losing whtaever as a friend or whatever this shit is really sad, but i also feel like iSHOULD have been sadder for what happened. if high school self read this, i’d be mortified at myself and i would cry buckets of tears on my behalf. but this hurt less than it should have. i think the first few hours really sucked. i was in my own world on the subway. and then i think somehow things just settled in once i had a chacne to talk with SN. and when i realized that guys are 27, still growing up, still learning. i ca’nt fault them. i’m learning myself too. i can just hope i dont cause the same mixed sense, mixed signal, shot in the dark, russian roulette kind of damage i dont think i deserve.

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