#but i was slightly more emotional than normal today so now i'm panicking

[thedressagedraft]

.

[linatheweirdooo]

Don't hurt me

I wrote this fic on ao3 originally as a vent, but due to the positive reception I'm gonna post it here too :3 here's the link to it on ao3 if you wanna give it a kudos or reply or read any other stuff I wrote bc I don't plan on posting that much on here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56567776/chapters/143770822#workskin

TW; implied S/A (it's hurt/comfort but the subject is mentioned and implied)

~~

It all happened so fast.

The sensation of water trickling down her synthetic skin, the studs of soap covering her body. It was a normal day, V just wanted to take a shower to clean herself off after an especially bloody hunt. Until she slipped.

Her entire frame collapsed onto the soapy ground, and her optics struggled to make out what was happening. Her processor overwhelmed with the sensory information from all fronts, it retorted to its only defense; to connect this situation to something familiar, something that has happened before.

In her disoriented state, instead of seeing the shower in her home, she saw a room in the old manor. And instead of feeling water slide down her hydrophobic shell, she felt hands. Hands that were distinctly human. Hands of the people whom she still can't remember the faces of, violating her. Touching her in places she shouldn't be touched, abusing parts of her body that are too sensitive for it.

This was stupid. She was a robot, she was a servant, why would she care if she was used? Wasn't that what she was made for? She shouldn't be whining.

Poisonous words from the person seemingly executing this echoed in her audio receptors. Even when it happened, V could bearly make out proper sentences.

V just yelled for them to get away, but her pleas proved vain when nothing changed.

Eventually, she succumbed to it, with only whimpers and muffled sobs with the occasional "stop" escaping her mouth.

~~

N was out today, which only left Uzi and V in their home, but the purple worker couldn't help but feel slightly worried by how long her girlfriend had been in the shower, she was usually quick.

But Uzi brushed it off. Maybe she's doing some self care for herself. V was responsible, they've known each other for a while now. Long enough to build a life with her and N.

That was until she heard V's voice, muffled by the walls of the bathroom and too far away from Uzi to make out any actual words. But why would V be yelling? There's nobody else in the house other than her, right?

Uzi panicked, but took a deep breath. She needed to stop assuming the worst all the time. So she calmly (albiet still quickly) walked up to the bathroom she was in and knocked on the door.

"V? You okay?"

No reply. At least, no reply that was directed at Uzi. It was hard to tell what she was saying, which worried her. Uzi does know V has a... complicated past... but even after getting together, she didn't talk about it more than she needed to. What if she was stuck in some kind of flashback?

No. No jumping to the worst case scenario. She'll just ask her again.

"V? Did something happen? Can I come in?"

No reply again. This was now a cause for concern, so Uzi opened the door, only to see her girlfriend on the floor of the shower sobbing and whimpering.

Immediately she ran up to V. But the disassembly drone sat up and made eye contact with Uzi.

Fear. The thought that V was even capable of the feeling had never even crossed Uzi's mind, but the hollow yellow rings that replaced her eyes were all that stared back her girlfriend.

V looked sad, tired, and scared, and while she has shown more emotion in front of her partners than she would to anyone else, this was different. It was raw, it was unfiltered, and it was heartbreaking. Her wet hair covered parts of her face and water was still pouring over her. She looked helpless.

"V?" Was all Uzi got to say before the disassembly drone tensed up and her endoskeleton started to shake. Pants and suppressed sobs were all that escaped the drone in front of Uzi, and when she tried getting closer, V cowered, pushing herself on the floor into the corner of the shower.

With her knees to her chin, one cone-shaped arm wrapped around her legs and the other in a protective position, hiding most of her face, V looked...vulnerable.

Noticing her girlfriend's reaction, Uzi moved backward. V must've thought she was someone else. Why else would she be this scared at the sight of her own girlfriend? Did Uzi do something?

V seemed to relax slightly, but she still looked like a helpless, terrified kitten in the rain. It hurt Uzi to see someone so important to her look like that. Only a year or two ago, Uzi would be scared of V, stating what she would think would be her final words if she crossed by any disassembly drone. Never in a million years did she ever entertain the idea of dating not one, but TWO of them. And now one of them is terrified of her.

As Uzi prepared to speak again, she heard V mumble something mixed with a sob. Uzi's audio receptors may not be as advanced as her girlfriend's, but she could make out a few words.

"Don't hurt me" were those words. The rest were lost to the sounds of whimpering and water from the shower hitting the floor, but Uzi's heart sank at the thought of what those words implied.

"V... it's me, Uzi"

It was a softer tone and volume, and it seemed to have worked as V relaxed a little bit and lowered her hand. However, she was still shaking and her eyes were still hollow.

Uzi leaned down to get on V's level, in an attempt to make her more comfortable. "it'll be okay" she comforted. Maybe it won't be, she had no way to tell, but it may help calm V down. She grabbed the towel V had hung on the hanger. "Can I get you out of here?"

V, still shaking and her eyes still hollowed, nodded. She didn't say anything, as if her voice were being held under a lock and key.

Uzi got into the shower and turned the water off as V stared at her, with digital tears hanging from the eyes displayed on her screen.

The worker drone reached out a tender hand to her girlfriend's cheek, which she immediately leaned into and closed her eyes.

Now that she was closer to V, the stress lines under them were more obvious, and as she brought back her hand, Uzi draped the towel over V like a blanket.

"Do you want me to dry you off or do you want to do it yourself?" Uzi asked in a loving tone.

V took a bit to respond, but she then replaced her eyes with text that read "I'll do it, but stay here" before adding on a "please".

Uzi nodded in response, and V blinked away the text as Uzi used one hand to interlace her fingers with V's and the other supporting her other arm, lifting it up and allowing V's limp body to stand at its full 5'11" height.

V took the towel that was hastly draped over her and wrapped it around herself after she had dried off the plastic and silicone that shielded her insides from the elements.

Uzi looked back at V once she was done but before Uzi got the chance to marvel at how beautiful her girlfriend looked, V collapsed onto Uzi before clearing her throat and spoke.

"Can you..." She paused, as if she was incapable of asking Uzi to do anything for her.

"Can you brush my hair?"

Her voice was scratchy from the crying, and her voice was still shaking despite thinking all the tears were gone. Maybe it was from embarrassment. The strong and terrifying Serial designation V asking for help? She might as well be dead at that point.

"of course..." Uzi smiled before going onto her tip toes and closing the gap between the two drones in a short, soft, loving kiss.

~~~~~

Uzi walked out to let V change, and after a few minutes she saw her girlfriend in a baggy purple sweater collapse into a hug, burying her head into Uzi's shoulder.

"..'m sorry for scaring you" was all V said, partially muffled by Uzi's shirt.

But Uzi just hugged her back and smiled into V while running her fingers through her girlfriend's still partially wet hair. "Its okay, it's not your fault"

V must've believed her. Or didn't feel like arguing. Because she just hummed in reply before pulling away from Uzi and sitting on the edge of their bed infront of the worker.

As Uzi played with V's hair, she wondered what must've happened. Who did V think she was? Why was she scared? Was she stuck in some kind of memory? What was happening in it?

She didn't want to ask too much. V was already secretive about her past even after getting together. But if it was hurting someone she cares about so much, she should at least ask her if she's okay now.

So she asked.

"What happened in there?" And immedietly felt bad. What if she was forcing V to re-live this memory? Was she overstepping a boundary?

"Uh.." V stopped in her tracks, almost trying to remember what just happened before Uzi cut off her train of thought.

"N-not that you have to tell me! It's just-" Uzi sighed. "I just want to know if you're okay"

A moment of silence passed, but to Uzi it felt as though it was a thousand years, and to V, half a second.

V took a deep breath before adjusting her position so that her knees were to her chest and she rested her face on them. "No... you deserve to know. Just-" another beat passed. "- just... i-it's just hard to talk about... uh.."

It was hard to keep talking, trying to figure out which words to carefully string together to form a cohesive sentence. She shouldn't be nervous, but she hasn't really talked about this to anyone. Her mind just kept flashing back to moments she has tried so hard to forget every time she wants to attempt to tell the most important person in her life what happened.

"V? You okay? You don't have to talk, you know"

Shit. She zoned out.

V collected herself and rehearsed what she'd say in her head. Why was she overthinking? She can trust Uzi.

"I..." Her eyes trailed down, and Uzi moved to the left of V to get a better look at her.

"Th-this was like, a long time ago and-"

She stared at her hands, and watched as she fiddled with them to relieve a bit of her anxiety. Or was it fear? Nervousness? Even she can't pinpoint the feeling. But, she does know she needed to talk about it.

"When I was a- uhm... w-when I worked for the Elliot manor... there were some...bad people" she took a slightly shaky breath. Uzi could probably see that V wasn't okay. Maybe that's why she rested her hand on top of V's after she said that. And despite the topic at hand, and emotions racing through her head, V made eye contact with her girlfriend and smiled. Not the sadistic smile she sported in hunts, or the beaming one she wore when Uzi said that magic three-letter word after asking her out. It was soft. It was okay. She's safe with Uzi.

So she took another shaky breath, and continued. "They hurt me. And... the ways they did that, varied..."

Uzi's digital eyes displayed slanted lines, reminiscent of human eyebrows when someone was sad.

"A-and one of those ways... included parts of me that I still wonder why I have. Maybe it was to feed their sick fantasies" it was hard to talk about, she figured by now the lump in her throat would've left but her voice cracked as she finished that last sentence.

V opened her mouth so speak, but choked on a sob that she had been trying to suppress. Damn it. She can't be crying now. She supposed to be scary. What was she even doing right now? She was stupid to think she can be vulnerable. She's supposed to be big and scary.

While V spiraled in her thoughts, hypocritically degrading herself for things she did three seconds ago, she snapped out of it by a sudden weight, and arms wrapping around her.

It was Uzi hugging her.

Suddenly, she couldn't control it anymore, and V let out more sobs as she finally broke down. Uzi held her through all of it, she even moved in front of V to face her. And as V sobbed and cried into the crook of Uzi's neck, she wrapped her own arms around the worker, despretly shaking and clawing onto her to make sure Uzi will never leave her side.

Between V's slightly muffled sobs and sniffles, Uzi lifted her head slightly to plant a kiss on V's cheek and whispered comforting words into her audio receptors.

"I'm here now" "Its okay now" "im sorry", they all helped but sounded the same to V. Until Uzi said a particular phrase.

"You didn't deserve that"

What a joke. She absolutely did. Maybe she hadn't done anything bad when it happened but the things that were done to her was probably something whatever higher being looking down on her did to punish her ahead of time. Maybe they thought it would stop her from doing the horrible things she did later in her life as a disassembly drone. In reality V didn't deserve Uzi. Or even N. She doesn't deserve loving partners who care about her. She doesn't deserve the affection she received from them or any forgiveness that they gave her.

But V couldn't even muster the energy to say that. Uzi would probably tell her it was absurd to think that way. Maybe it was. It was hard for someone programmed to serve people to imagine those people may be bad.

At some point in her thoughts, V's sobs got reduced to just occasional hitches in her breath, and her digital tears were replaced with tired lines under golden eyes. And they were very visible to Uzi, who pulled away from the hug and was now holding V's larger hands that were slightly illuminated by the yellow triangles on them.

"Hey, it's getting late. Do you want to go to bed now?"

V blinked a few times and looked at Uzi, then to her own hands. Hands that were made to kill people like Uzi. But right now, hands that were being held by her. And she watched as Uzi's thumbs brushed along her palms.

"Yea. Maybe" V finally sighed, and leaned onto Uzi, who pushed her own weight towards her and hugged her harder.

An "I love you" escaped the purple drone as she rubbed soothing circles on her girlfriend's back. It almost made V start crying again.

She was fine. Everything's fine now. She'll never be hurt that way again. She's loved now.

She's loved now

V's voice shaky from the newly built up tears, she reciprocated the statement

"I love you, too, Uz"

It was quiet, muffled, half mumbled, but it was enough for Uzi to hear her and squeeze her girlfriend tighter.

They shuffled a bit while cuddling, and ended up in a position where Uzi was spooning V. There's a first time for everything, she guessed. But it wasn't that bad, being cradled by the one she loved the most.

Minus V's purring and occasional sniffle, it was relatively quiet. But, it was comfortable. Uzi subconsciously ran her fingers through V's hair as V listened attentively to the rhythm of Uzi's core and wrapped her tail around Uzi's leg. Getting used to how clingy and physically affectionate V was took a bit of time, especially since before dating, Uzi's only ever seen her murdering people, playing with their corpses like dolls only to animalisticly take a bite of her prey.

But it was nice. Paired with V's purring, Uzi really enjoyed cuddling with her, too.

It was a while before V broke the silence.

"You know... I never thought I'd ever tell anyone that experience, much less to a worker"

Uzi looked down at V in her arms, which caused V's complimentary eyes to look back at her.

"Not that it's a bad thing. I'm really glad I could finally talk to someone about it. I never thought I'd see myself this close to someone like you. You opened my eyes to a diffrent way of looking at things, and I'm forever grateful we met. I'm sorry I was such a dick at first."

Uzi's face softened at the remark before she leaned down to kiss V's hair

"Don't say that. You were scared. And you've changed" Uzi paused to cup V's face in her hands and lean in for another kiss, V holding the back of Uzi's head.

"I'm glad you trust me enough to talk to"

V didn't talk, but her smile and blush spoke a thousand words. Uzi just held V to her chest and continued playing with her hair.

It continued like that for a while, until V's "eyelids" grew heavy, and she eventually succumbed to her exhaustion.

~~

Uzi didn't know how long it's been, and frankly she didn't care. That was until she heard footsteps walking into her room before she saw the unmistakable yellow headband of a disassembly drone.

"Hey Zi d-" N cut himself off as he saw V asleep and walked over to Uzi.

"Did something happen?" He asked Uzi in a hushed tone, careful not to wake the drone laying in his girlfriend's arms.

"...Yea. I don't know if she would let me say what happened, but..." the worker looked at the murder machine curled up in her arms, asleep, and smiled. "...she's fine now" Uzi replied, petting V's hair.

N's face shifted to a sympathetic smile as he sat on the edge of the bed and eyed V.

"I hope she is" was all he said before going behind Uzi and snuggled up with her, hugging her from behind before he too fell asleep.

Which left Uzi alone with her thoughts.

V was right, though. A few years ago Uzi's life was hell. It was hard to even avoid hurting herself. But she's so glad she didn't. Now instead of walking to her home after a shitty day at school to be ignored by her father, she walks home after another day of university to a home with her girlfriend and boyfriend, ready to tell them about her day and hear about theirs. Now she looks forward to life, as long as she has her two favourite people in it.

Eventually, Uzi also fell asleep, being hugged by N and V, and hugging the latter back.

[teenwolffan-with-nolife]

hi! i looove your writing! i’m not sure if you still do the prompts, but if so could you do something with 115 & 49 for isaac or derek? thank you so much!

thanks for requesting! i always do prompts as well when i open requests!

writing takes time and i've forgotten how to do it

49.) "Do you think that I’m gonna leave you? You’re stuck with me, with us forever, no matter how much you hate it.”

115.) "I just feel so numb, a-all the time. S-So fucking numb."

"Stop walking away from me," you continued to walk through the loft, heading to your room as Derek ran behind you.

You weren't in the mood to talk to him, he wasn't supposed to be there but he was, and he heard everything you said.

"You didn't even try to fight for yourself," you walked up the stairs before he finally caught up to you, grabbing your arm.

"(Y/N)," you sighed deeply, avoiding eye contact with Derek.

"Will you look at me?" he said softly.

"Can you let go of me?" you replied.

He paused, before nodding, releasing his grip on your arm.

"What would have happened if I didn't interfere? I could've just lost you like that," Derek said.

"You're acting like it's this big deal," you sighed.

"It kind of is. Do you not care about me or something?" you felt your chest tighten as you exhaled sharply.

"You don't even know how far off you are," you shook your head.

"Then what is it?"

"Derek, it doesn't matter what happens. Whether we're together right now or not, you know you can do better than me, that's the truth," you were slightly taken aback by your words.

Derek never heard your insecurities, you kept them in the back of their head where they belonged.

But today was a long day. Too long of a day.

You were tired, everything moved in slow motion. You weren't panicking, you watched as everything fell apart.

It didn't matter to you.

"Do you think that I’m gonna leave you?" you could hear the shock on Derek's voice, trying not to show your hurt.

It could only make things worse.

"You’re stuck with me, with us forever, no matter how much you hate it.” you let out a shaky breath as he finished his sentence.

"I don't know how to prove it to you, but I'm not going anywhere. Even if you don't want me here," your eyes watered slightly as you cleared your throat, feeling it tighten.

"Derek," your voice broke slightly as you blinked back your tears, looking up at him.

"I care about you more than anything. Seeing people all over you makes me go insane. I-I don't even... I can't explain this. All I know is now much I care about you, but..." you stopped yourself.

If you continued, he would think you didn't care about him. You were never one strong with emoting. Feelings weren't something you could ever put into words.

"But what?" he asked softly.

"But I can't bring myself to care," you saw him frown slightly as you shook your head.

"Not like that. It's just come to a point where I've lost so much, that the thought of losing you... it just passes through my mind." your heart raced as you spoke, your words didn't want to form, but you kept trying.

"I just feel so numb, a-all the time. S-So fucking numb. And I don't want it to be like that. The way you make me feel is stupid, and I'm scared to lose you, but when things happen, it's like I couldn't... I don't know. I probably sound like a crazy person," you scoffed, wiping your eyes before sniffling.

"No, you don't. (Y/N)..." Derek started.

"You know what? I'm just tired, it's been a long day. I'll probably feel better after I sleep or something," you shook your head.

Before you could make your way past the next stair, Derek pulled on you, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

You paused, feeling more tears in your eyes before burying your face in his neck.

"I bet you wish you were dating someone normal rather than someone who struggles with basic emotions," you said softly.

"I bet you wish you were dating someone who doesn't randomly grow hair out of their face for it to disappear in two seconds. No one's perfect," you laughed softly, feeling warmth in your heart as Derek chuckled.

It was always rare for him to laugh, but every time he did, it would make you melt right there and then.

"Do you still want to go to bed?" Derek raised an eyebrow.

"I want to go to your bed," you replied.

You saw the smirk on his face as he put his arms around your legs, lifting you up.

"I love you," you whispered.

"I love you too."

Taglist:

@bellabadacadabra

@sonnydoesrandomshit

@aprilfire18

@confuscita

@asheradamsbicep

@teen-wolf-obsessed4life

@eunoia-kth

@angelgtzdar

@mrs-woodwesleyobrien

@shortimaginewriter

@linkpk88

@lokisgoldscepter

@mrs-scottmccall

@thetiny-hufflepuff

@gabbyper1215

@noncannonships

@mystic-writings

@tinyprettyevil

@thetiny-munchkin

@primswan

@lilianareads

@thedumbgirl

@Msrawog

@cevans-winchester

@ssa-volturi

@katherinepetrovawife

@sarcastic-sourwolf

@lelapine

@deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy

[miraculous-trinity-leo]

Whacky Gotham, Goofy New York, and Chaotic Paris.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

Chapter 5: Then Let The Games Begin

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Soooo, the Batfam is panicking, Gotham's confused as to why Iron Man is flying over Gotham like a madman, and Maria is with two of Gotham's Sirens (but only Ivy and Harley know this) having a wonderful time playing with Bud and Lou.

Let's start with the Sirens.

Harley is watching over Maria and Tikki as they sleep with Bud and Lou, Ivy walkes over to sit next to Harley, handing her a cup of tea.

"So, what's the diagnosis?" - Ivy

"She has some sort of trauma, has class issues... and handles more than she should, but still does everythin', on top of bein' a hero. She's been through some sh-t Pam." Yeah Harley may have found out Maria's a hero (if the tiny god and magic were anything to go by).

"Is she alone?" - Ivy

"No, thankfully, she has supportive parents, and friends that aren't little sh-ts. I think they're also heroes, she also has a lot, and I a mean A LOT of pent up emotions, she doesn't show anythin' negative, only positive things. She seems to shrink in on herself if she thinks she does somethin' wrong. Pam, we both know there's a limit to how much crap a person can take before they snap, and she's such a sweet kid. There has to be somethin' we can do to help her Ives." Ok she found out alot, but in Marias' defense, they have trustworthy souls, and they were the only other people (besides her friends) that she talked to about it, yes she had her Maman and Uncle to talk about hero stuff, but for the stuff her class does, she only ever vented (without being negative) to her friends.

"Her class is visiting the Botanical Gardens in three days, and it's a 2 part tour, so we can see just what's going on. If it's bad then we scare them a bit, if it's bad bad... they can handle a few slightly poisonous plants right?" - Ivy

"God I love the way ya think Ives, do ya think she can stay with us? I mean look at how cute she is with Bud and Lou... Oh my god, she's cuddlin' dem, and ya gave her a flower crown, how'd I miss that?! Where's the camera?"

Harley took a picture to remind her of this wonderful moment. As Ivy and Harley looked at the picture, they both promised to keep Maria safe, and maybe become sorta kinda-ish parents to her while she's in Gotham.

•—–·Now back to the Bat-Chaos Bat-Cave·–—•

Tim took over the chair and was now searching the possible locations with Jarvis, Damian was sitting on a different chair, trying to act cool, but he wouldn't stop looking over at Tim, to see his progress. Bruce was talking over the comms with Tony. Dick and Jason, weren't helping (they kept feeding each other worse and worse ideas of what could have happened to Maria). Then they heard Jarvis speak.

"I have found the most likely area Ms. Dupain-Cheng would be in. Her phone died about 56 blocks away from her hotel, if we don't count kidnapping, or murder, she would have thought about asking for directions, but may have decided not to considering the city she is in. So that leaves us with a possible 15-25 mile radius from her last known location. I think it best to divide into groups of two, have Oracle stay and update you if anything on security, and or traffic cameras happens. Bruce will be with Tony, Dick will go with Tim, and Jason will go with Damain to search within the area. Stephanie and Cassandra will search around a 5 mile radius near Wayne hotel." as Jarvis continued to explain the other details, the Batfam began to suit up, Batman met up with Iron Man, and they took the North area, Nightwing and Red Robin took the East area, while Red Hood and Robin searched the South. Steph and Cass were on foot in civilian clothes, searching the West area they were assigned.

They searched for the whole day, and came up with nothing. Until Oracle saw a video from a traffic cam around 9pm, 15 blocks away from where her phone died. She called it in and everyone went back to the cave. Once everyone was at the Bat-Computer, Oracle pressed play, the cameras didn't have sound, and it wasn't close enough to see if she was ok.

They watched as she went to an overgrown parking lot and sat down. She was looking down at the ground, and that's when they spotted two figures round the corner and spot her. They watched as the two figures approach Maria, and saw the startled reaction she had. They realized it was Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy that were talking to her, then they saw Maria collapse. They watched as Harley made sure she was ok, looking over to Ivy before looking back to Maria and picking her up. The last thing they saw, was Maria being carried away by two of Gothams' most dangerous rouges, but now they knew where to look next.

•—–· Back to Ivy and Harley ·–—•

Harley continued to take adorable pictures of the children.

"God, they're so f-ckin' cute!" - Harley for the 20th time

As Ivy continued to watch while caring for her plants, Catwoman walked in.

"Hey girls, got the stuff for movie night, so what are we- Holy mother of cats! He adopted another f-cking child didn't he! Where the hell does he keep finding them?! 7 was ment to be the god DAMN LIMIT!!!" - Catwoman

Maria jumped at the sudden shouting and may have accidentally summoned a yo-yo (one made useing creation magic and protection magic) before saying.

"Tikki where's the akuma?! How long was I out?! Forget it Tikki spot-" she then realized she wasn't in Paris, and seeing a new face, she also realized she just spilled her secret to another person within the same day... kinda

"Fffffffffffudge sunday that fell on the pavement!" - Maria shouted in baker profanities

"That's not how ya curse sweetheart. It should go more like-" Harley was cut off by a vine Ivy had summoned.

"Harley, cursing makes the plants sad, you know this." - Ivy said removing the vine

Harley just walked over to Maria and whipsered it in her ear.

"You're supposed to say it more like this, ' ..... .... ... .. ....... .. ... .....' ok?" - Harley ended with a big smile

"... I will never see this world in the same frickin' light ever again." - Maria

"ehh close enough." - Harley

"Can someone please tell me, WTH is going on here, on our special girls day off?!" - Catwoman

"She is a new member of the Sirens as of today, and as a member, she's unda our protection, so effective immediately." - Harley

"Cool." - Maria

"Harley." - Ivy

"Wut... first things first, if she is going to join, she needs to be very flexible, know how to fight, and be incredibly intelligent." - Catwoman

"She beat Ed's @ss with a gun pointed at her, and solved every riddle with ease, so I'm positive she'll be an amazin' addition to the team." - Harley

'God she sounds like a new mother now' "But we don't know how good her flexibility is." - Catwoman

"I know, hey Maria, ya wanna do some tricks with me, of course we need to stretch first, but do ya wanna give it a go?" - Harley

"Sure." - Maria

Ivy and Catwoman sat down on a couch a few feet away from where Maria and Harley stood in the empty part of the building. They started out with stretches, and to Catwoman's surprise (and Harley's delight) Maria copied Harleys streches perfectly.

"Ok, now that that's done, we'll start with some cartwheels, then move on to flips, then handsprings and so on." - Harley

Maria gave Harley a nod... and they were off... literally, Harley did a cartwheel into a handspring, and a few backflips, Maria executed it flawlessly. Harley did some more complicated gymnastics tricks, and Maria did it, Harley did triple backflips going into a cartwheel, into a summersault, and Maria did that perfectly as well. This went on until both Harley and Maria were slightly out of breath, both having massive smiles on their faces.

"Ives, please let her join, she's like a mini me." - Harley then hugged Maria and they somehow both tripled in cuteness as they both did puppy (or Puss In Boots style) eyes at Catwoman and Ivy.

"Sure Harley." - Ivy said walking over to give Harley a small kiss on the cheek.

"Okay... but she doesn't have a costume yet, and she still has to think of a name for herself." - Catwoman

"Is a mouse good, like a mouse themed costume, that or a Turtle themed one. What do you think Harley?" - Maria

"Mmmm, I like that with the mouse you can always toy with Cat, ya know, cat an' mouse stuff, turtle seems... weird even fawh Gotham, so personally I would pick mouse, just because of the cheesy jokes you could do." - Harley

"Very funny, ok then, give me a moment."  Maria then reached out her hand, her eyes then started to glow an icy blue, and a small portal opened in front of her, she reached in and pulled out a small pendant necklace. After she put it on a small mouce appeared and greated itself, Marias' eyes going back to normal after closing the portal.

"Hello I'm Mullo, nice to meet you all."

"Omg omg omg, It's soooo f-ckin' CUTE!" - Harley

"Best to assume all of them are extremely cute Harls." - Ivy

"What the Hell did I miss in the week I was gone?!" - Catwoman

"Ehh, not much, oh but Iron Man did fly aroun' Gotham a few times earlier this mornin' like a madman." - Harley

"Oh sh-t." - Maria

"Maria are ya ok? That was ya first official proper curse in my presence." Harley said looking over to the girl.

"He's gonna kill me." - Maria

"Wait, what do you mean Marigold?" - Ivy

"... He's my Uncle, and I never got to text him I was ok, since my phone died before I met you." - Maria

"Hey, I'm sure he'll understand, now what are we watchin'?" - Harley

"I think we have more important matters other than movies at the moment!" - Catwoman

"Ok, Me Myself and Irene it is." - Harley

"No! You basically kidnapped Iron Mans' NIECE!!!" - Catwoman

"Technically, she fainted and us bein' the good Gothamites we are, decided to take her with us, to make sure she was a-okay." - Harley

"I'm ganna need more than just a six pack of soda to get me through this... Just put the movie on already." - Catwoman

Catwoman sat at the far left end of the couch, next to her sat Ivy, then Maria, and then Harley, Bud and Lou by their feet. All of them sharing one big blanket (Becuase if Iron Man did show up, or any of the birds, then Maria was in a protective burrito and they may not see her right away) and they started the movie.

•—–·–—•

"Oh god, the poor cow." - Maria

.........

"Hahahaha, he stuck a whole f-ckin' chicken head in that guys @ss" - Harley

"The poor chicken." - Maria

"Maria you don't want to see this part." - Ivy then lightly covered her eyes for the ehem, chicken extraction.

.........

"Anyone up for another movie?" - Harley

"That depends." - Ivy

"Any suggestions Cat?" - Harley looked across to the other end of the couch to see Catwoman already sleeping.

"She took her cat-nap already? Seriously?" - Harley

"... What about Pirates of The Caribbean?" - Maria

"I'm good with that." - Ivy

And they started the next movie, Maria was happy, it felt like when her maman and papa would sleep with her when she made a pillow fort. It was a loving atmosphere, it felt safe, and nothing could ruin it. Marias' eyes became heavy, and she leaned her head on Harleys' shoulder, falling asleep after a few minutes.

Ivy paused the move looking over to see both Harley and Maria sleeping, soon Ivy also fell asleep in the comfortable silence.

…………………………

Around an hour later Maria woke up in a panic, she had a nightmare, and kept looking around frantically for someone with tears running down her face.

"What's the matter hun?" - Harley said looking around to see if someone had gotten in. When she looked back at Maria she saw that she was crying.

"What happened?" Harley asked in a kind voice that was filled with motherly love.

"I, just *hic* had a bad dream that's *hic* all, I'm fine." - Maira said trying to wipe the tears away.

"You're ok, I promise nothin's goin' to happen to ya as long as Ivy and I are here, ok hun?" - Harley hugged Maria, and she could feel the girl let out a few more sobs, and quick breathes.

"Thanks Maman." Maria didn't even realize what she had said, it just felt natural for her to say it.

"You're welcome hun." 'Omg I'm gonna cry, she called me maman!' Harley rubbed small circles over Marias' back, and began humming until she fell asleep, she continued to hug Maria until she also fell asleep.

•—–· Back to the Chaos Bat-Cave ·–—•

"What do you mean she's with two of Gotham City's Sirens?!" - Tony

"Tony, calm down, I'll call Selina, she can talk to them and get this all sorted out." - Bruce

"Your fiancee is a Gotham Siren too?! Why didn't you tell me?!" - Tony

"Why isn't she picking up? And unlike some people, this family doesn't like outing our secret identities... on live TV." - Bruce

"Oh well excuse me for not keeping my secret identity a SECRET!" - Tony

"I'll try calling her one more time." - Bruce

"Bruce, it's 3am. Who in their right mind ever stays up this late.... aside from this family." - Tim with a giant coffee mug in hand.

"... I'll just call her one more time." Bruce then connected it to the Bat-Computer so everyone could hear.

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Catwoman's phone is ringing like crazy, waking everyone up, including a tired, annoyed, and confused Selina.

"Wth does he want at 3 in the morning?!" - Selina

"Just answer it so we can keep sleepin'." - Harley still hugging Maria

"I'm putting it on speaker, so you lot can testify against his @ss in court, for disturbing the peace."

•—–· Over to Batsy ·–—•

"Selina I need to ask-"

"WHAT THE F-CKING HELL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT A GOOD NIGHTS REST!" - Selina

"Oooooh, she sounds pissed Bruce." - Jason

"I'm sorry to call you at this hour, but we need to find a girl that looks just like every single one of my other kids." - Bruce

"Bruce... I thought we agreed that 7 kids was. the. f-cking. limit." - Selina

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Selina looked over to Maria before muting the speaker.

"Do you want them to know you're here Kitten?" - Selina

"... I'm tired, I haven't had coffee, I have no filter, so f-ck it, act like you never saw me today, and let them drown in chaos. " - Maria

"I think I like filter less Maria." - Harley

"Okay." Selina shrugged her shoulders and then un-muted her phone, putting it back on speaker mode.

"Where was she last seen?" - Selina

"She was last seen with Harley and Poison Ivy, I want you to see if she's still with them." - Bruce

Selina looked over to Maria and Harley, both of them shook their heads with mischievous grins.

"I've been with them all day, and I haven't once seen a girl that looks like your kids. Now can I go back to sleep, and forget this ever happened?" - Selina

"WHERE IS MY NIECE!!!" - Tony

"Oh, hey Tony, didn't know you were there, don't know who, or where your niece is, but good luck trying to find her. Oh and Bruce, I'm shutting my phone off so you don't keep calling till the butt crack of dawn. And congrats it's now 4am. you owe me a lunch date, uh-ba-bye." Selina then hung up her phone and turned it off.

"That went pretty well if you ask me, now I'm going back to sleep." - Selina

•—–· Back to Batsy ·–—•

The room was silent for a few minutes before Jason spoke up.

"Does that mean that Pixiepop ran away and is even more lost now?!" - Jason

"Oh god, what do we do, what if she got hurt?!" - Dick

"What if she got kidnapped?!" - Jason

"What if she's with a big time Gotham Villain?!" - Dick

"... What if she got more coffee?" - Tim

"Oh Hell No" - Jason/Dick

"... Lets all go to sleep, and when we wake up, we'll head over to their base and double check. She could've just said that because I called her at 3am." - Bruce

"But my niece is still out there!" - Tony

"You're going to sleep Tony." - Pepper then dragged Tony to his room.

•—–· Back to Maria ·–—•

Selina went to a different part of the building, where Maria assumed the bedrooms were. Ivy had gone to the greenhouse to be with the plants, and now it was just her and Harley left on the couch, and she couldn't sleep.

"... Harley?" - Maria

"Yeah hun?" - Harley

"I can't sleep." - Maria

"Well, watcha wanna do till ya get tired?" Harley asked sitting up a little straighter to get a better look at Maria.

Maria gave a sly smile, and looked Harley in the eyes "Want to go free-running on the rooftops?"

"... Alright, but lets get some coffee, and a snack in us first." - Harley gave her a side hug, before getting up to go make the coffee, and grab some snacks.

After they had their coffee, they climbed to the roof of the base. Harley was in her outfit, bat in hand and ready to do some bonding.

"So, how does ya outfit work?" - Harley

"Like so, ready Mullo?" - Maria

"Yes Maria" - Mullo

"Ok, Mullo, Get Squeaky!" A bright light flashes, and when Harley could see again, Maria was in a dark gray suit, wearing black knee high boots, with a strip of pink at the knee, and black elbow length gloves with the same pink strip at her elbow. Her mask was a slightly lighter gray on the top part, and pink on the bottom. Her hair was pulled into two buns with pink ribbons that faded to gray, and to black at the very tip. Her jump rope around her waist forming a tail going just below the back of her knees.

"Just when I think ya can't get any more adorable. So what should I call ya?" - Harley

"You can call me Multimouse." - Maria

Soon they were racing and doing tricks off different roofs, they were really enjoying themselves. From one of the roofs they heard a commotion in one of the alleys, when they looked down they saw a man holding a woman at gunpoint.

"Not good, seems like he's got issues, probably lost his lover, most likely has additions to drugs and alcohol, and seems to be a little tipsy." - Harley

"I've got a plan." - Multimouse

…………

Multimouse droped a little way behind the guy, grabbing his attention while Harley got the lady to safety.

"You know there's a help center two blocks from here that would be more than willing to help you." - Multimouse

The crook just raised his gun to her trying to keep it steady as he spoke.

"Give me all your money little girl, or else I'll hurt you."

"1. That's not how you hold a gun. 2. That is no way to treat any girl. and 3. Instead of money, I'll give you my jump rope." - Multimouse

"Why the hell would I want your jump rope, that thing looks worthless." the crook lowered his guard enough as Multimouse pretended to hand over her jump rope, only to use it in a quick motion to dismarm the man, as Harley promptly knocked him out with one swing.

"Lets neva have ya at gunpoint again, okay hun? I'm afraid my heart can't take it." - Harley said while tying the crook to a lamppost.

"Sorry, but it was the best idea I could come up with at the moment, besides, any guy with a gun would feel like they have the upper hand if they're facing a random little girl with a jump rope, rather than Gothams' Harley Quinn with a bat." - Multimouse

"Sadly I'm just too popular with the kiddos on the street." - Harley

…………

They continued to stop a few more muggers on the way back to the base, and when they got back they peaked around the corner to see the whole Batfam plus Iron Man talking with Ivy and Selina.

"How much you want to bet we can get back out before they see us?" - Whispering Multimouse

"... Lets try hidin' in the kitchen." - Whispering Harley

As they tried to sneak by (still in their costumes) Selina just walks over and draggs them to the group.

"Here, now let me sleep!" - Selina

"Dang it Selina we wanted tah see just how long we could hide out in the kitchen!" - Harley

Selina did a double take now realizing they both went out.

"... You didn't." - Selina

"We wanted tah go free-runnin'! So what?" - Harley

"She could've gotten hurt Harls." - Ivy

"My suits magic, I am invulnerable to bullets, normal magic, swords, knifes, anything staby staby, and I can withstand any temperature in it." Multimouse said with a slight pout.

"Hold up, is she a magical girl?" - Red Hood in the background

When Selina let go both Harley and Multimouse went behind Ivy for protection.

"We can still make a run for it." - Harley whispered to Multimouse

"... Ok, I'll meet you on the roof." - Whispering Multimouse

Harley gave a nod as she slowly inched her wasy closer to the door that lead to the roof, as she saw Iron Man approach Multimouse.

"Please get out of your suit, we need to talk about why you're here-" - Iron Man

"Multitute!" - Multimouse

Harley then saw Multimouse shrink into dozens of tiny little versions of herself as her clones spread out in all directions, one of which was heading right for her.

"Wth, you never told us she could use magic!" - Red Robin

Harley picked her up, and slipped through the door without anyone noticing.

"That was great, but how do ya get back tuh normal size?" - Harley

"Simple, I just merge back with my clones." As she said this, all her clones came back, and she merged with herself, becoming normal sized again.

"Where to?" - Multimouse

………… So now The Batfam is trying to find many long gone Mini-Multimouses, and Harley seems to have disappeared with her. Harley and Multimouse are now running over the roofs, heading for Wayne Manor.

"So why are we going to Wayne Manor?" - Multimouse

"Because, Batsy will neva think of lookin' for us at his own home, at least not fawh a little while." - Harley

When they arrived at the Manor, Multimouse de-transformed as Harley knocked on the door.

"Ms. Quinn, Ms. Maria, pleasure to see you here, please come in." - Alfred

"Are any of the bat-birds here?" - Harley

"Ms. Barbara, Ms. Stephanie, and Ms. Cassandra are the only ones here at the moment." - Alfred

"Do ya think you can keep us bein' here a secret from Batsy?" - Harley

"Harley? What are you doing here with Maria?" - Barbara

"It seems that Ms. Harley and Ms. Maria are now playing hide and seek with the rest of the family." - Alfred

"Did someone say hide and seek?" - Steph

"Yes, so could we maybe try and keep this a secret from everyone else, please?" - Maria

"Sure, it was starting to get boring around here. We can all hide in the living room no one ever use. Barbara you show them the way, I'll get the food/drinks and boardgames." - Steph

"Is this alright with you Alfred?" Maria

"It's all right Ms. Maria, you can hide out in the old living room." - Alfred

"Thanks Alfie, ya the best." - Harley

"Thank you Alfred." - Maria

"Ok then, follow me." - Barbara

…………

In the old living room, Harley, Maria, Barbara, Steph, and Cass began to formulate a plan.

"Ok, so the best way for them to never find you is to have your phone off, stay away from any and all cameras, and show your face to no one." - Steph

"So, do you have anything in mind that you might want to do?" - Barbara

"Can we put them on a wild goose chase?" - Maria

Cass nodded to Marias' suggestion approvingly.

"I can hack a few traffic cams to help with that." - Barbara

"We can also throw in some useless hints, to throw dem even further off our scent." - Harley

"Good idea Harley." - Barbara

"Thanks, but how long do ya think we should make it last?" - Harley

"As long as Maria wants it to." - Barbara

"Then let the games begin." - Maria.

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Chapter 5 complete. Hope everyone is stayin' safe, Rockin' those Positive Vibes, and havin' an absolutely wonderful day. BUG-OUT 🐞💮🐞

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜Tag List〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

1st Place★: @animegirlweeb ☕ , 2nd Place★: @jumpingjoy82, 3rd Place★: @zalladane, 4th Place★: @jayjayspixiepop, 5th Place★: @arty-shadow-morningstar, 6th Place★: @smol-book-nerd, 7th Place★: @irontimetravelflower, 8th Place★: @fandom-trapped-03, 9th Place★: @meme991001, 10th Place★: @buginetye, 11th Place★: @blackroserelina, 12th Place★: @jessigurl-design, 13th Place★: @adrestar, 14th Place★: @moon5608, 15th Place★: @little-bluestar, 17th Place★: @myazael, 18th Place★: @our-preciousss, 19th Place★: @wolf2118, 20th Place★: @nyx-in-line, 21st Place★: @kking13, 22nd Place★: @lunerlover2024, 23rd Place★: @moonlightstar64, 24th Place★: @corporeal-terrestrial, 25th Place★: @kashlyn, 26th Place★: @tbehartoo, 27th Place★: @heart-charming, 28th Place★: @solangelo252, 29th Place★: @t1dwarrior-of-earth, 30th Place★: @lady-phoenix-of-tardis, @lupagrimm

[animeyanderelover]

Hi! actually I'm kinda embrassed for requesting prompt because I already ask for hc...but can I request Black Butler number 26 with Ronald ? Thank you!!💓💓

You really don’t have to feel embarrassed about this, I don’t have a limit for sending requests though I appreciate it if a person knows when to stop. But two requests are fine with me.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, clinginess, death, killing

Prompt 26: “...Why do you cry?! Who made you cry?! Tell me their fucking names so I can rip their heads off for making my angel cry!!!”

You hadn't quite realized how much time had already passed by, the whole day had been gone by in a blur, you not even realizing that it was already night, sun nearly having disappeared from the horizon completely. Time flew by fast, didn't it?

If you would have known that sooner, maybe this sudden news wouldn't have hit you that hard. Of course not only the old people died due to their age or a sudden disease took someone, who could have actually spend a lot more time under the living, deceased all of a sudden. Basically anything could happen to someone, no matter how old or young anywhere.

That had today sunken in in you, having attended the funeral of your closest friend. He had passed all too suddenly away, even for his parents his death had been a shock. The reasoning of death was unknown, the only obvious fact was that he had been murdered by someone, all alone and most likely petrified before his life had been taken from you.

His parents had told you that he had wanted to tell you something on that night, what exactly they didn't know. He hadn't even told them, saying that for now it was only for your ears to hear. It stung incredibly that he would never get the chance now to tell you and you couldn't hep, but wonder what exactly he had wanted to say to you. Now it didn't matter anymore anyways, he was dead.

And you, you were deeply caught in your palace of thoughts, going through anything you could have and should have done whilst you still had the time with him. It was funny, people never seemed to think about everything they could have done better whilst they had a certain someone in thei life until this person was gone. Why was that? Why didn't you do more for him? With him? The only thing you had left now were your memories with him and a bleeding wound his sudden death had left in your heart.

So you didn't even realize the soft knocks on your door at first, nor even when they seemed to get louder and more harsher. You were too deep in your own land, memories flashing nonstopping in front of your eyes. Memories which had once been sweet and warm, but now were bitter and painful. Why had he leave this early? He hadn't even lived his life yet. He hadn't met a nice person yet, hadn't even experienced true love yet. And now he would never.

"(y/n)! Hey! I know you're in there! What's wrong did something happen?" A sudden voice finally made you very slowly turn your attention somewhat back to the real world, realizing who's voice it was. Was it already that late since Ronald had appeared in front of your house? He usually was busy during the day, working didligently before coming later always over to you and spend the time he had with you. He was your boyfriend after all. A clingy and very smothering boyfriend, but you still loved him a lot.

At first you didn't feel the real motivation to move. You had hit the bottom of your current misery, mourning over your best friend, the most idiotic, but lovable person you had ever met. Next to that you really didn't want Ronald to see you in your current state. Cheeks and part of your clothes, especially your sleeves, being stained with your own tears, hair disheveled due to having tossed around in bed the last few hours, meaning that your pillow had already fallen victim to your sorrow and crying. You didn't only feel shitty, you were convinced you looked that way as wel.

"(y/n)! Something is wrong, isn't it? What happened babe? You know you can talk to me about anything!" His voice was weakened due to the wooden door and the distance between it and your bedroom, being seperated by exactly one floor. But you still sensed it in his voice, the steadily raising worry and panic. Your eyes wandered to the door of your bedroom, thinking whether you should ignore him and spend this night alone or let him in and searching for comfort in him.

"If you don't open this door in the next minute, I'll break it! Come on, sweetie! Please let me in and help you!" You might as well have taken it as a joke at first, not believing that he would seriously break your door if it wouldn't have been for the following sentences. "(y/n). Open the door. Now."

There was this sudden switch in his voice, going from the typically 'overworried boyfriend' tone to something else. Just know he had sounded somewhat deeper and much more calmer than before, his voice somehow giving you the feeling that he wasn't kidding. You were talking about Ronald, he wouldn't do something like this...right?

Deciding that you didn't want to find out, you slowly started sitting up, blinking the exhaustion out of your eyes and wiping the wetness decorating your face as good as possibly away, hoping it wouldn't be too obvious what you had done the last few hours. But whom were you even trying to fool? Even the most oblivious person would have noticed that you had been crying.

"Don't break the door! I'm coming already." You had barely the strength to scream loud enough so that he would hear you, voice scratching uncomfortably against your throat, needing some rest after all the previous whimpers and small cries of yours. You actually contorted your face a bit when hearing yourself yelling those words, voice breaking at the end of the last sentence and the unpleasant hoarse sound your voice made. There was no way Ronald wouldn't have heard this.

He didn't. "Are you feeling well? You sound terrible! Please let me in!" The knocking sounds intensified together with his growing panic, making you hurry up, despite feeling like your body wasn't able to handle anything above just laying in bed. When hearing your steps approaching, you heard something akin to scratching sounds on the door, imagining that Ronald was getting a bit desperate.

Without any words you opened the door, instantly stepping behind it whilst holding it wide open for him to enter, hiding behind it since you didn't want him to witness how terrible you currently looked with your red and puffy eyes.

You heard him quickly stumbling in, almost falling due to having leaned his body against the door. But he managed to not be greeted with the floor, catching his balance and instantly turning his head around, searching for you. It took him less than two seconds before he had discovered your form, still hiding behind the wood.

One step was all it took for him to be by your side, grabbing the door and closing it quickly, shielding you and him from anyone outside witnessing what was going on in this house.

You had lowered your head to the ground, gaze focusing instead on his shoes which you could clearly see. They didn't really interest you, but you didn't want to look up in his face. A stupid thing to do, you knew he would make you anyways. But it was just how you acted right now.

"Babe..." His voice had gone soft, hands gently holding yours and squeezing them in a comforting manner. "What's wrong? What makes you currently feel down? Tell me how can I help."

You let out a bitter and pained chuckle, starting to grip his hands in a firmer hold as well, feeling the rising need to throw yourself in his arms and hopefully get rid of some of the currently heavy rain clouds of grief and aching surrounding your heart. "I don't think you can help me as much as you would like. Not in a wa you want to right now."

Bitterness was dripping out of every word you spoke and you found yourself quickly burrying your head in his chest and letting go of his hands, instead grabbing his arms and tightening your grip on them as you felt once again the burning and hot sensation of tears gathering in your eyes and tracing your cheeks once again. You were emotional and knew it, but who wouldn't be after such a shocking and heartbreaking loss.

Ronald himself felt his heart breaking a bit as well when suddenly feeling you clinging onto him so tightly, your tight grip on him being a silent and wailing plead for any sort of affection and comfort he could possibly give you. It hurt him seeing you like this, normally you weren't like this. The tears wetting his clothes in that moment were just adding up to this dolorous pulling on his heart strings and he felt himself embrace you rather quickly in a warm and slightly possessive hug, feeling himself growing slowly slightly angry at whatever or whoever had put you in your current condition.

"What's wrong?" Everything was wrong. You had just lost an important person and were crying rivers over him. "I...I...T-today..." You had barely time to hiccup anything, especially a full sentence out during your increasing sobs. You had thought that you had cried the worst part out earlier, but now that you had Ronald with you, the string that had seemed to hold your emotions in check seemed to be cut off, making everything inside of you turning up and down again. It was not a completely bad thing. it just meant that in presence of Ronald you felt like you didn't have to hide anything. Nevertheless, it only added even more layers of pain and heartbreak over your currently fragile heart.

You felt him tensing up the more your breath became erratic and the more you sounded like you would choke any minute on your own sobs, the more his grip tightened around you and his attempts to hush you and try to calm you down sounded more and more panicked. You hadn't even time to answer his questions, being too busily drowning in your own tears.

"...Why do you cry?! Who made you cry?! Tell me their fucking names so I can rip their heads off for making my angel cry!!!"

You stiffened up, slightly startled by the sudden loud noise which Ronald quickly noticed. "I'm sorry for scaring you just now! I'm...just panicking right now a bit because I don't even know why you're so upset. I want to help you and feel currently a bit useless because I can't do anything to make you feel better."

He had quickly lowered his voice, using a more gentle and comforting tone to not scare you again. You slowly managed to relax again in his hold, acknowledging the fact that he was right now just worried over you. "It's-it's fine. I'm just...my-my best friend (f/n) died today. Earlier his fu-funeral was held."

You felt slight confusion stirring up inside of you when you felt him shortly stopping in his movements, feeling his muscles cramping a bit under his skin. You lifted slowly your head, blinking up at him.

Maybe for the shortest of seconds you thought he had a weirdly guilty expression on his face, but maybe your vision had just been a bit blurred due to the still present tears in your eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I remember that I've read something about this in the newspaper this morning. He was yesterday evening killed, right?" You just nodded, pushing the look on his face quickly away, deciding it had just been an imagination due to your tears. "Don't worry, it'll get better over time. I'll be here for you whenever you need me." You dearly hoped that you could believe in those words.

Maybe he should have thought about it more before doing it, he hadn't expected you to be in so much sorrow. Sure, he had definitely knew that you would go through a phase of sadness and pain, but he hadn't expected such an extreme reaction. He had needed about three hours to manage to calm you just enough down so you could finally give your mind a rest and go to sleep because he had realized just how exhausted you had looked, all the stress and crying tiring you out. His whole shirt had been soaked by tears and snot, but it wasn't like he cared. His focus had only been on helping you finally getting some sleep.

Maybe...just maybe Ronald could have done it a different way. But now it was too late to regret such things and thinking back, he had given the guy many chances to back off. He knew how close both of you had been to each other and the last thing he had needed would have been competing with your childhood friend. He had been unsure, feeling threatened. What if you would have chosen your friend over him?

But now that man was gone forever and whilst Ronald felt definitely terrible for having inflicted so much suffering onto you, he also couldn't help, but feel the tiniest bit glad that he would continue holding you whilst you were sleeping safe and soundly. You most likely wouldn't be that way if you would know that he was the one who had killed your friend.

But only him and your friend knew this. And that guy would never get a chance to tell you, he had taken that secret with him in the afterworld. Just like his love confession...

[lia-bones]

The night when everything collapses

Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary: It is a full moon night. Remus was gone as always. (Y/N) was alone until she received an unexpected visitor who brought terrible news.

Warnings: Angst, Angst, Angst, Swear words, injuries, dead, murder, tears and grief.

Words: 2154

Author note: I am so sorry. So sorry. Why do I always write angst stories? It was so difficult for me to write that. It always depressed me so much. I wrote it over several days because I always needed a break from the grief.

(English is not my main language. I apologize for all misspellings, grammatical errors, and translation errors.)

not my gif

* * *

It was a restless night. The wind rattled the windows and the moon cast dark shadows in the room. It was pouring, so that large puddles formed on the ground.

The sky was deep black, only now and then the full moon shine through the gaps in the cloud cover. Nobody would be on their feet voluntarily on nights like this. (Y/N) would now prefer to be in her bed, cuddling with her boyfriend, under a thick blanket.

On other nights that wouldn't be a problem at all. But on nights like this it wasn't. Not because of the rain or the storm, but because of the lunar circle. Her boyfriend couldn't be with her on full moon nights, and she couldn't be with him. He would never let that happen. He was infected with lycanthropy as a child. Since then he turned into a werewolf every full moon. Just like today. Usually his friends would be with him but they were all busy.

James was with his wife and one year old son and Sirius and Peter were on missions for the Order. So Remus spent that night alone. But she would wait for him. Just like she always did.

(Y/N) was mixing batter for brownies when there was a knock on the door. Confused, she looked out the window. The moon was still in the sky, so there was no chance Remus would be back. Maybe it was Lily who just wanted to sleep for a few hours without being woken up by Baby Harry. The poor boy was just getting his first teeth and screamed terribly at night.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. No need to rush." she called when there was another knock on the door. This time louder.

She wiped off her hands with a towel and then hurried across the living room to the door.

She held her wand tightly in her hand as she opened the door, ready just in case.

Whoever stood in front of her house made the young woman pause.

Her former Hogwarts teacher, professor mcgonagall, was standing in the open doorway with an expression on her face that made (Y/N)'s hair stand up.

"Miss (Y/L/N). May I come in. I've got news that I can't deliver out here.

The younger woman nodded a little confused and took a few steps to the side to make room for her teacher to enter.

Both women stood facing each other in silence. (Y/N) kneaded her hands and looked at the floor. The behavior of the normally so composed woman, scared her a little.

The older woman looked nervous, her eyes were red and she was breathing hard.

"P .. Professor? ...what is it that you have to tell me?"

The mood in the room was tense. McGonagall didn't look at her at first.

The feeling that something was wrong spread through every fiber of (Y/N) body.

And now that the eyes of the two women met, she noticed that tears were running down the teacher's slightly wrinkled cheeks.

"I have bad news (Y/N). Terrible things have happened."

(Y/N) bit her lip and started breathing hard. She opened her eyes wide and tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

Her mouth go completely dry and she was terrified of what McGonagall was about to tell her.

"Voldemort attacked the Potters. Lily and James ... they ... they are dead."

The statement came in a whisper.

(Y/N) suddenly couldn't breathe. As if all the air had left the room. Tears ran down her cheeks, which had turned a deep red from the lack of air. Her lip had started bleeding from biting too hard.

It couldn't be. What her teacher just told her couldn't be. Lily and James couldn't be dead, she had seen them yesterday.

"Kinds of Miss (Y / L / N). You have to take a deep breath." McGonagall said, placing both hands on the younger woman's shoulders. (Y/N) looked at her with a panicked expression and stammered: "No. No, no, no, no, no. This can not be true. Please, please tell me this is not true. They can't be dead. YThey have to live ... they ... " The older woman cut her off by patting her lightly on the shoulder.

"I wish I was lying. Unfortunately, it's the truth. They were found dead in ther house an hour ago."

(Y/N) Face color went from deep red to pale.

So pale that you could see the blue veins on her neck and face shimmering through the skin. She felt as if someone had kicked her head. McGonagall wasn't lying. Why should she lie about something like that? Two of her best friends were, in deed, dead. She would never see them again. James and Lily, who had just started a family, were no longer with them.

And then it came to (Y/N) mind. The Potter family. James, Lily and Harry. McGonagall hadn't said anything about Harry. What's about Harry?

"What about Harry? Is Harry alive? You didn't say Harry was dead! That means he's alive, right? Or? You bring him here ,right? " she exclaimed furiously and grabbed the woman opposite by the upper arms.

McGonagall released her grip, but still held her hands tightly. A sad smile formed on her face that did not reach her eyes and slowly shook her head.

(Y/N) jerked her hands back and her mouth fell open.

McGonagall pulled her lips in and didn't meet her eyes.

"Yes. Harry is alive. He is fine. He only has a cut on his forehead. But we're not going to bring him here. Dumbledore has decided that Harry will be taken to the Dursley's. Harry is probably safest there, he says. Voldemort may be gone, but you never know what his followers are up to. Nobody will suspect him there. Away from the magic world, with the Muggles." explained Minerva matter-of-factly and folded her arms in front of her body.

(Y/N) was speechless for a moment. The old man couldn't mean that seriously.

"To the Dursleys? Really? That can't be serious! We are his family. He had it better with us than with them. They don't love him. They don't care. Who knows what they're doing to him!" She pleaded and gestured with her arms. The woman opposite took a few steps backwards and looked at the floor in shame.

"You are his family too. They are blood relatives. He's safer with them."

(Y/N) tensed her jaw and bit her cheek until she tasted the metallic taste of blood.

They couldn't mean that seriously. These people had never been interested in Harry before. Harry would be safe with them too.

"Such a crap. He belongs here. To me, Remus and Sirius ... we are ... "

Again she was interrupted by McGonagall, who drew in a sharp breath when she called Sirius' name.

(Y/N) closed her mouth and looked at her inquiringly.

"There's other bad news that I have to deliver. Sirius Black was brought to Azkaban some time ago by the Aurors, which he will never leave again. He was convicted of murdering numerous Muggles and Peter Pettigrew in cold blood.He betrayed us."

(Y/N) slumped. Her knees hit the floor and her hands caught her torso. She felt as if she was about to throw up, but she could only choke dryly.

McGonagall was about to take a few steps towards her again to comfort the young woman when she suddenly hit the floor with her fists and let out a desperate scream.

"FUCKING BULLSHIT. YOU LIE TO ME! THAT CANNOT BE TRUE. FUCKING LIED DIRT SHIT!"

McGonagall stared down at her with wide eyes and made a wry face.

"No Miss (Y/L/N). I'm so sorry. But there is nothing to be done about it."

(Y/N) gasped in response.

"I'll meet Dumbledore in a moment to hand Harry over to his aunt and uncle. Have a seat and calm down, please. Harry will be fine and as soon as he gets to Hogwarts you can see him again. Please, (Y/N). There is nothing we can do now. Calm down, we will send you more information soon.

I ask you to pass the latest events on to Remus as soon as he gets back. I think you can tell him the best. Be there for one another in these difficult time."

The older teacher put a hand on her head for a moment to comfort her and then turned away and left the house.

(Y/N) was left alone.

she sat on the floor and felt her whole body wrapped in cold. The horrible realization that she had lost three of her best friends that night ate into her bones. The lights in the whole house flickered and she felt the magic going crazy inside her. She screamed from the top of her lungs and at that moment several glasses cracked in the club.

She curled up on the floor like a fetus and hugged her legs. The tears furrowed her cheeks and there was a lump the size of a quoffel in her throat.

It hurt so much. Everything hurt so much. It was like her skin was on fire, her bones break like matches and her inside, felt like she'd swallowed acid.

Crying didn't feel like enough for (Y/N), the emotions in her just had to get out.

She pulled herself up and walked into the kitchen on shaky legs.

Her baking ingredients were on the counter as she had left them. She clawed her hands in the sideboard and blinked to get a clear view again.

"Fuck, Shit, damn it!"

With a quick arm movement, she ripped everything off the kitchen counter. Flour, milk and eggs were scattered on the floor and on the walls, with broken glass from the dough bowl in between.

With a heartbreaking sob, (Y/N) fell into the mess.

She lay down on the site and with her arms pulled her legs to her chest as tightly as she could. Splinters pecked her face, but she made no move to change that. At least, the sting reminded her that she was still there and hadn't just dissolved.

Hours passed like seconds and before she even realized it, the door opened and heavy steps shuffled through the house.

"(Y/N), dear. I'm home. Are you awake?" Remus called in a limp voice looking for his girlfriend.

She heard how he came closer, how the footsteps got louder and louder. But she couldn't move, couldn't answer him.

'How am I supposed to tell him? How am I supposed to tell him that his whole family is dead? ' she thought and screwed up her eyes more tightly.

"Hey (Y/N/N), what about the glasses ..." Remus asked as he entered the kitchen, but stopped when he saw his girlfriend lying on the floor.

"Fuck! (Y/N)! Fuck! what the fuck happened?" he exclaimed excitedly, hurried across the kitchen and fell on his knees next to his girlfriend.

Carefully he stroked her cheek and held her hand with the other.

She blinked and looked up at him. His face was pale gray and there were a few new scratches on his face.

She sucked in air through clenched teeth and let it out with a sob.

"(Y/N). Hey love, what happened? Please talk with me." her boyfriend whispered, leaning further down to her.

She sat up and leaned her back against the wall. For a moment she could only stare at him. How was she supposed to tell him something that she knew would hurt him immeasurably?

Just as he opened his mouth again to say something, she said in a scratchy voice: "Something bad has happened."

Confused, he drew his eyebrows together and brushed the last glass of residue off her cheek.

She opened her mouth again to continue speaking, but only brought out a hoarse croak.

She couldn't look at him. We didn't want to see the pain in his eyes when she was about to ram a Methaforic knife into his chest.

"Hey look at me. It won't be that bad. Everything will be fine."

She looked back at him and instantly tears began to gather in her eyes again.

'No. It was worse. Much worse.'

"Remus, sit down." she whispered and took his hands as he did as he was told.

Her throat went dry and she started shaking all over.

"I do not know how I should begin. I don't want to say it. That would only make it more real...."

[shadedrose01]

There's Bones in my Closet (But You Hang Stuff Anyways)

An irondad (with Harley focus) sickfic I wrote in a day :)

Tw for vomiting and sickness in general 💗💗

~~

It starts out slow, as most things tend to do.

When he woke up late one morning, feeling more exhausted than he did falling asleep the night before. When his muscles had ached as he forced himself out of bed in a rush to prepare for school, before Happy threatened to leave him behind (Harley knows he never actually would, though, the man cares too much about him even if he refuses to admit it). When the lingering feeling of exhaustion had seeped into his bones, and stayed for the rest of the day.

He should've known the warning signs, should've realized that he was falling ill, but it didn't really hit him until now.

Now, when he's in the lab, trying to focus on his homework through the sudden pounding in his head, not helped by the thruming music surrounding them (he normally can zone it out, it usually helps him focus, but today it feels like nails on a chalkboard). Now, when his stomach starts to twist uncomfortably, making his shift and swallow. Now, when the last person he would want to find out about his sickness is stood two feet away from him, humming along to the beat and messing around with holograms of some type of project that Harley can't remember.

Well, it isn't like Harley doesn't want him to find out, it's just... well...

Two days ago, Peter had come down with the stomach flu, and had been stationed upstairs ever since. Tony's been looking after him while May's been away on vacation for the first time in years, and he knows how stressed Tony is about Peter and how much he cares for Peter like a son, and he doesn't-

He knows (or, thinks, anyways) that Tony doesn't really feel the same way. About him. Or at least doesn't act the same around him. Sure, he knows Tony cares, why would he have let him stay at the tower to look for universities if he doesn't, but...

He just doesn't want to be a bother, more than he already is.

So he tries not to say anything, tries to keep it on the down low, even as the words of his notebook start to spin in front of his eyes (or maybe that's just his vision in general), and his head starts to throb heavily, again and again and again, his stomach churning dangerously, choppy like waves during a storm, until it squeezes harshly, lurches-

Oh no.

He scrambles for the smaller plastic garbage can placed under his desk, leaning his face into it and swallowing once, twice, breathing heavily through his nose trying to keep the waves at bay, trying to keep his lunch down, but its futile, and before long, hes ducking further and gagging into the bucket.

He hears a loud curse from behind them, before the music shuts off suddenly, and then there's a hand on his back, heavy and soothing, rubbing up and down as he gasps and heaves. "Its okay, you're okay," Tony murmurs, but his voice is higher pitched with shock and slight panic, and it makes Harley's chest squeeze, makes him lean into another spasm and whimper. "Shh, you're okay, just let it all out, buddy."

They sit like this for a few moments, Tony whispering comforting things while Harley grasps shakily onto the bucket before he finally feels stable enough to pull his head away, spitting one last piece of bile into the bucket but leaning back heavily onto Tony with a groan, squeezing his eyes shut as his stomach turns uneasily. "There you go, nice and easy," He feels Tony shift, before there's a napkin wiping at his mouth. "Gosh, you're warm." The hand then raises to his forehead, and Harley leans into it, the coolness of the back of his palm easing the ache in his skull. "How long have you been feeling like this, bub?"

It isn't said accusingly, quite the opposite, in a soft hushed tone, but Harley still flinches slightly, squeezing his eyes shut tighter as he feels them burn. "I'm sorry," He croaks out instead, his voice rough and throat raw, and Tony quickly shushes him, quickly reassures.

"No no, its okay, none of that." His hand rubs heavily on his back for a second as he sighs lightly, before he leans into Harley's peripheral vision, smiling gently at him, even as a weird emotion swirls in his eyes. "You think you can make it upstairs or do we need a few more minutes?"

Harley pauses, focuses on his body, feels his muscles aching and his head pounding, a jackhammer digging into his skull, but his stomach is settled, for the moment, so he nods once, slow and careful. "'can make it." He mumbles, and Tony's smile widens slightly, even as his eyebrows furrow more.

They don't say anything else after that, Tony helping Harley to stand (slowly, slowly as his leg tremble and his body screams, the room spinning for a few seconds), and then, after waiting a few seconds to make sure his stomach resettles again, the shift making him queasy, they approach the elevator. The ride up feels like the worst thing Harleys ever experienced, the slight vibrations and heavy hum feeling like a hammer crashing into his brain again and again and again, but thankfully, thankfully it doesn't last too long, and they're out into the penthouse before Harley can blink.

Before they can stumble too far into the room, though, making their way towards the other couch not taken already by a still sick spiderboy, Harley freezes, feeling his stomach starting to twist again. "To-" He starts, but can't finish, can't do much of anything except turn around, the wave coming on too quick for anyone, even himself, to stop, and the next thing he knows, there's vomit on the laminate flooring and Harleys coughing for air.

And then, the emotions set in. The panic, the pain, the anxiety, the fears, the overwhelming guilt rushes over him like a stampede, all of it comes to the forefront and bubbles over like a science experiment gone wrong. It doesn't help that right at that moment, two other people speak up, Peter from the couch, with a "Dad? Harley?" And a more feminine voice, Pepper, from further away, saying with all the pity in the world, "Oh no, him too?"

And then Harleys sobbing, tears pouring down his cheek and wheezing out, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"

"Hey, hey," Tony brushes away the hair falling into (and sticking to) his face, now sounding really panicked. "Its okay, you're okay."

"I didn't- didn't mean to-"

"Oh baby," Pepper chips back in, and she's beside him now, suddenly, her hand on his shuttering shoulder rubbing gentle circles with her thumb. "We know, you're alright. Come on, let's go lie down, hm?" Her voice is soft, soothing, and reminds him so much of his ma, he wants his ma, that he can't really do anything against it, leaning into his touch as she slowly maneuvers him onto the other couch, carefully laying a blanket over his still sniffling, still shaking frame as Tony grabs another, clean bucket to place at his side, just in case. She speaks to the older man, then, running a gentle hand through Harley's hair almost subconsciously, whispering. "I didn't know he was sick?"

"I didn't either," Tony whispers back lowly, the two of them acting as if Harley wasn't sat right in front of them, acting like he couldn't hear them.

It just makes him shake out another sob, burying his face into the arm of the couch. "Im sorry. 'Didn't- didn't wanna bother."

There's a pained noise, then, and another hand is on his face, a calloused thumb wiping at his cheek softly. "You aren't bothering us, kid." Harley only glances up at him with one teary eye, the other still buried into the fabric. "You could never bother us." Tony looks so serious, then, that Harley can't help but believe him, can't help but hear the underlying meaning hidden between the words. You could never be a bother to me. "I want you to tell us when you're upset, or don't feel well, okay, bug?"

There's a playful, teasing huff of "my nickname" from the other couch, and Tony snorts, but Harley doesn't pay it any mind, just leans forward until his face is pressed into Tony's shirt, the mans arms wrapped around him tight. He nods, then, to show that he heard, and Tony presses a kiss to his head before letting go, letting him lean back onto the cushions, sinking back into the couch with a light groan.

"Get some rest, okay, sweetheart?"

He blinks back up at Pepper blarily, nodding once and uttering a quick, "'kay," and, before he can think on it too much, his eyes shutting again as he curls back up, "Love you."

Just before the exhaustion of the days events pulls him under, he feels two faint kisses pressed to his face, one to his forehead and another to his cheek, before the soft murmur of a "Love you too, buddy." Lulls him into slumber, a faint smile etched onto his face.

[myinnersoul1412]

Hatori Novel Smexy scene 1

I'm not good at drawing, and I'm good at writing either so I hope this could somewhat serve at a present for fellow Domestica fans on Hatori’s birthday

Please note that it's translated by Google translate + a few more translator+ some common sense or interpretation so please take it with a grain of salt. I don't know Japanese beyond the basic characters but I'm just doing it because I love them so much

Even though the translation probably sucks, please don’t bring it anywhere since I spent a ton of time on it and just want to share.

Prior to this scene, Hatori and Yoshino were on a date at to collect materials for the manuscript. The setting is on Christmas’eve. They went to a Chinese restaurant to eat together, and while the food was good, Yoshino commented that Tori’s food was still better. During the meal, Hatori had to step outside for a work phone call because a newbie author (female, 2nd year college) wanted to ask his opinion on her storyboard.

Funny note: Hatori hated taking pictures but still posed as models for Yoshino to take pics anyway. 

Some touching lines:

Speaking of the real intention, it is not without thinking that this convenient dream will be awakened by the sudden impetus. The end may come someday, but I'm still going to enjoy this happiness. Even if this comes to an end some day, now that you have enjoyed all this happiness, even if you wake up from a dream, you will never forget it.

(If I say this to Yoshino, the him from way before would have been stunned **)

He secretly smiles at his self-ridicule. Of course, he wants to be with Yoshino his whole life.

As long as he’s allowed to be by his side, he’s not going to leave.It's just that that feeling and his wish for Yoshino's happiness are a little different. In the unlikely event that Hatori’s presence could be a burden or have a negative effect, he intends to behave accordingly. It is a commandment to himself.

This smexy scenes comes after their date. Enjoy!

Because this year progress is not desperate, there are no assistants coming in and out, and Yanase should be stuck at the seinenshi’s sensei place.(T/N: magazine for young men)

 “Well then. Don't stay up late today and go to bed early. Good luck with the manuscript tomorrow”  

“…………”

For some reason, Yoshino didn't try to step out, even though Hatori tried to see him off at the branch road to his home. On the contrary, he was pinching Hatori’s coat and holding it down.

“Yoshino?”

Yoshino’s cheeks that were looking down were slightly red. It didn't look like he was drunk, but could it be the afterglow of alcohol? 

“------You know. Normally, you wouldn’t go home on a day like this?”

“?”

 He didn't understand what Yoshino was saying, and the former had a perplexed face. In response to such a dull reaction from Hatori, Yoshino stamped his feet on the ground.

 “So! You're back from a date!”

 I looked(T/N: look, but with eyes wide open) at Yoshino who raised his voice frustratingly. I couldn’t hide the surprise that Yoshino also perceived today as a date.  

 “What’s with that face! Even though you can add embarrassing scenes to a plot, what do you mean you can't do it in real life……”

 Yoshino murmured the dissatisfying words. I rubbed my eyes to see if I was having a convenient dream, but it seemed to be reality.

 “I want to confirm, that is to say ---”

 “Read the mood in times like this!”

 He held his breath against Yoshino who glared at him with a red face.  

 (This is……is it okay to accept the invitation……?)

 In retrospect, today's Yoshino was somewhat strange from the beginning. I wondered if it might even snow, but I would be troubled if he got angry.  

 “Can I stay the night?”

 “………”

 When asked straight, Yoshino dyed red to his neck and nodded a little.  

Both of them were silent on their way to Yoshino’s room. Every step I took made me feel more nervous. My body temperature gradually rose, even though the cold night breeze was brushing my cheeks.

“Ah? Where did I put the key?”

 Yoshino panicked in front of the room. He was just looking at the pockets in his coat and trousers, and he seemed to be forgetting the bag on his shoulder.  

 “Is it there in your bag pocket?”

 “R-right”

 The fingers that opened the zipper were trembling. Yoshino, who had no sense of control, dropped the key. The sound of bumpy metal crashed into the hallway.

 “I'll open it”

 Hatori picked up the key and opened the front door. At that moment, Yoshino felt small and seemed to be holding his breath.  

 “Thank- thank you”

 Open the door and encourage Yoshino to enter first. Yoshino’s movement walking in front of me started to feel more jerky.  

 “Um, do you want something to drink?”

 The voice which asked the question was trembling too. Even though I was just nervous, it seemed like Yoshino's tension was infectious.  

 I guessed I should have gotten used to it, since we had already done it so many times, but I didn’t want to look so dismayed in front of the person I liked.

 “No”

 “Ah, then how about a shower?

 “……Ah”

 His pink nape caused the little amount of reason remaining in me to give away. I held Yoshino’s shoulders, turned him around, and strongly kissed him.

 “Nnn……?”

 Perhaps surprised by Hatori's brute force, Yoshino’s eyes were wide open. However, immediately, the body’s tension was released and his eyelids lowered.  Eating his lips and twisting his tongue, Yoshino put his hands on Hatori's back. As the kiss deepened, the more they clung into each other.(T/N: literal translation is “the stronger the clinging force became”)

 “Nnn,n,nn……”

Embracing Yoshino's body, which was gradually melting, I became absorbed and devoured his lips. Every time I entangled my tongue, I heard a wet sound. I teased his tongue which was trying to entangle awkwardly, and enjoyed the mouth that was hotter than usual. I wanted to continue more, but when I noticed Yoshino who seemed to be suffocating, I broke the kiss with the feeling that my back hair was getting pulled.  

“……Stupid, we're still in the hallway”

Yoshino complained while being out of breath. Hatori strongly pulled Yoshino’s waist, who was glaring up at him with flushed cheeks, and whispered into his ear.  

 “It’s your fault for stirring me up(t/n: to stir up, to incite, to agitate). And you were responding, too”

 “That, that was just conditioned reflex……”

 “Is that so?”

 “What do you want to say!”

 “I didn’t say anything”

 “There's something written all over your face”  

 It was a sulking look, but there was sweetness in the gaze (T/N: not very sure about this part). Towards Yoshino who showed a sullen face due to the embarrassment, sadistic desires were aroused.

 “What is written, can you tell me carefully?”

 “Eh?-----Uwa”

 Heading to the bedroom while holding the waist, they fell into the bed entangled together.

 “Oi Tori----------”

 Fueled by Yoshino's moist eyes, he kissed him again as if he was being sucked in. He repeated the devouring kisses and ran his hands over Yoshino's clothes. While sighing and moaning into the sealed kiss, I pinned down and felt around/groped the thin body. Rolling up the inner knitwear, I touched his bare skin.

 I managed to get rid of the coat, and I was frustrated by the difficulty of movement while loosening the belt, and realized that I had not even taken off my jacket yet.

 (I really can't afford it)

 Internally, Hatori laughed bitterly at his impatience. He roughly stripped off his coat and jacket, which normally would have been dutifully hung, and pulled out his tie.  

 “Hey, slow down a bit………”

 “I can't”

 “Then try harder!”

If you answered immediately, you would get a retort from Yoshino. When I stroked around the area where Yoshino’s ribs had previously floated, Yoshino stirred under Hatori. It was still a bit thin, but it had gained a lot of flesh after all my daily efforts.

 “I'm deeply moved/very emotional that I've come to be able to grab it”

 “Oi, hey, don’t rub it……!”

 When Hatori grabbed his side, Yoshino wriggled ticklishly.  

“Then, how about here?”  

“Hya—”

He moved his hand further up, gently stroked the tip of his chest with the pad of his thumb, and then crushed it, a shrill voice escaped Yoshino's lips.The ticklish Yoshino was sensitive here too. When stimulated, it easily hardened. 

“Ah, mmm, ouch, stupid, not so hard”

 “You like it when it hurts, don't you?”  

 When you pinched it, the body jumped.

 “Ahh, n,nnn……!”

 When I knead it with some strength, it reddened like a fruit, and Yoshino rubbed his knees together as if frustrated. It looked like his nipples weren’t the only things getting hard.  

 When I forcibly split his knees and pressed my leg against his groins, I felt a hard tantalizing touch.

 “Ugh.... ah, wait, ah, ah”

 Rubbing it with your thigh made it even more tense. Hatori pushed down Yoshino's pants, which had been loosened at the waist. His underwear had changed color at some parts.

 “You're already wet”

 When I told him the fact, Yoshino turned red to his ears.  

 “W-Well, I'm not the only one... ah”

 “Maybe so”  

 “Ah……!?”

 He ran his index finger over the elastic of Yoshino’s underwear and lightly pulled it down, revealing a taut member. Hatori traced up the warped underside and scooped the moistened tip with his fingertips.

 “Ahh, ah………”

 When I wrapped my fingers around the whole cock and rubbed it gently, Yoshino let out a sweet and seductive/mellow voice. His appearance when clutching the bedsheet and enduring the pleasure was lovely.

 (How cute/How lovely)  

 He was usually sloppy, and he was quick to whine, but at the root of Yoshino's character is a stubbornness that hated to lose. Once he had made a decision, no matter what, he was not going to change it.

 “Yoshino, take that off”

 “Get ready first, you idiot...”

 While rebuking Hatori, Yoshino reached into a drawer on the sideboard. He found what he was looking for, and embarrassed to present something that could be used on him, he carelessly pressed it against my chest.  

 “Thank you”

 The bottle of lotion and the box of contraceptives that he had ready were new. I wondered what kind of expression did Yoshino buy these things with.

Resisting the urge to pursue the answer, I took the content in the palm of my hand. Making sure to squeeze it and spread it all over my fingers, I wrapped around his excitement again.  

 “Hya……ah,ah……!”

 When I made it slimy up and down, Yoshino's moan became even sweeter. After making it feel as tight as it could be, I probed behind with my wet fingers.  

 “Mmm,mm”

Yoshino sighed when I forcibly pushed my fingertips into the tightly closed place. He didn’t realize that he was tightening his limbs, but I pushed my fingers deeper and deeper.

 “Ngh,nghh……”

 Yoshino clenched his teeth as he endured the sensation of being probed inside his body.  It was not originally designed to accept foreign substances, but he slowly got used to it as lotion was added several times along the way.  Every time I pulled my finger in and out, a lewd squelching sound was heard.  

 “Ah…ah,ah……mm”

Yoshino's hands wandered around on the bed looking for something to cling to. Eventually, he grabbed a pillow and pulled it over to bury his face in it. Realizing that he didn’t want to let out his voice, I moved my fingers even more.  

 “Ah, ah, ah……!”  

 With increased fingers, I pushed hard against the inner wall and Yoshino's body jumped like a fish on land. I could tell that he was getting pleasure from the melting moans/charming moans.  

 I already knew all of Yoshino’s sensitive spots. I couldn’t afford to tease him today. Just tortured severely the spots where he would surely react.  

 “No, not only there, ahhh, ah!”  

 Yoshino wasn’t negative/contradictory about getting pleasure, but when he felt too good, he suddenly got scared.  I could understand the uneasiness of feeling like I was no longer myself. But I had no intention of toning it down.(T/N: other possible meanings: keeping it moderate/mild)

 “Aahh, no, ah, ah----!?”  

 The root of the arousal that was about to burst was tightened and the i that would have been risen was suppressed. Yoshino, who was going to be released, stared at Hatori with an agitated expression/ in turmoil.  

 “W-why……”  

 “You can hold it a bit more right?”  

 If I made him come first on a tiring day, he often fell asleep immediately after that. As expected, it would be a problem if that were to happen today.  I was already painfully tense. It wouldn’t be easy to take care of it alone.  

 “You have to take responsibility for the invitation”

 “Ahh……”  

 As I pulled out the fingers that were probing inside, a sweet, trembling voice escaped. I had feared it might still be a little tight, but my patience had already reached the limit.  

 “Are you ready?”(T/N: “Is it okay?”)

 “……Do whatever you want”(T/N: ……Suit yourself”)  

 With Yoshino's permission, I pushed open his knees. I restlessly loosened my waist and pulled my excited self out from the underwear.  I quickly put on the condom and when I fit into the prepared spot, the body temperature and pulsation were transmitted vividly.

 “Ah------”  

 I pushed the tip in with a huff. Running out of patience, I shoved in mercilessly.  Although it was still narrow/tight as he thought, but it had already learned Hatori’s shape and accepted him without refusal.  

 I secretly let out a sigh from the pleasure of being wrapped in the soft mucous membrane.

 “Nghh……why……why is it so big……ngh”  

 Yoshino glared at me resentfully with teary eyes. This might be more of a whining rather than a complaint. I was embarrassed to be complained about the body’s physiological reaction. It wasn’t something that could be controlled by reason.  

 “Of course it's because I want you. There isn’t any guy who’s not excited about holding someone he loves”  

“Idiot ......ngh”

 It was unreasonable to be spit a verbal abuse at like that even though I answered his question. In a fit of anger, I forcefully pushed it to the root, and cloudy whiteness was scattered by the momentum/impetus/force.

 “Ahh……ngh”

 He seemed to have come just by stimulation at the back because he was made to endure it earlier. The bodily fluid overflowing from the explosion was scattered across the thin abdomen.

 “I didn't say that you could come first right?”

 “B-but……”

 I wiped the overflowing bodily fluids with my fingers and treat Yoshino's arousal as if to smear it. I rubbed it hard, and it got tighter there with Hatori inside.

 “Ahh, ah, no, I’m going to come again……”

 “That won’t do. It's better if we come together right?”

 “Yeah ... but ...ngh”

 “You can't hold it for me?”

 “Meany Tori……Uh, ah, ah, nghh, ngh!”  

 What Yoshino said not to do was the same as what he said he wanted you to do. The reaction inside changed depending on the intensity of the stimulus. As I was enjoying the change, I was complained to by Yoshino, who was on the verge of tears.

“No, idiot, don't play anymore……ngh”  

 “You want me to focus more here?”

 “Ahngh!?”  

 I gave a hard shove at the place where our bodies connected.  

 “No, ahhh, ah, ah……ngh”

 I put myself into the root and shook up our connected bodies. Every time I sent my hips in, Yoshino's body jolted and trembled. I grabbed Yoshino's waist and held him up, bending his back heavily, and stirred his lotion-soaked wet insides mercilessly.

 “Ahhngh, ahh, no……ngh”  

While greedily gouging out the tangled mucous membranes, I drilled into the back again and again. When I sent my hip into the right place, Yoshino gasped as if to cry. That voice and expression further fueled Hatori. Hatori threw off his self-control and thrust up Yoshino in his lust.

 “Agh,ahh,ahhng,aah!”  

 At first, Yoshino was at my mercy, but gradually he started to move. It was unintentional, and probably unconscious. It was a pleasure that flew off all reasons, and he was trying to get more of it. Even if it was an act of instinct, it didn’t change what the expectation was.

 What Yoshino wanted, I just gave him exactly that

 (--------I’m really sly/cunning)  

 Every time I hold Yoshino like this, I felt indescribable elation and guilt.

All Yoshino must have had for Hatori, until the later revealed his hidden lust, were the feelings of comfort, friendship, and trust of a childhood friend. There might have been some sort of monopoly, but it probably wasn't that of love. I dragged Yoshino to this side, imposed my not-so-pretty desires on him, and instilled lust.

Even if Yoshino had had such experience, it was with the opposite sex and he was not in the receiving position. As a man, there must have been some confusion for him. Nevertheless, it was thanks to his generosity that he had accepted the position of being embraced on the receiving end.

He might not be aware of it himself, but Yoshino was the one who had the gut when the time came. Hatori's prudence was a mask to hide his mean, negative and cowardly self.

 “Ah! Not there, no, aghn, ah, aghn!”

 "Can't you say anything other than denial once in a while?"

 “Sh-shut up…..nghh”

 When I pointed out his lack of vocabulary, he glared at me with moist eyes. He usually had a face that didn’t seem to have anything to do with sexual things. But when he was embraced, he had such a face, so I couldn’t stand it. As I repeatedly thrust into the back, the connected part became loose. At that moment, I pulled myself out as much as I could and pushed it in.

 “Aaahhh……ngh”

With each extraction, the voice that spilled out became sweeter and sweeter. As I continued to gouge out the tightly-clung inner walls, Yoshino's face became distorted with pleasure.

 “You like it here right?”

“Yes, it feels good……nghh”  (T/N: Alternative: I like it. It feels good)

The reason why I deliberately asked the question when reason had failed was because I could hear an honest answer now.

 “Here?”  

 “Ughahh, ah,ah, ah….ngh”

 Yoshino, who was writhing and gasping, was driven even harder. When he squirmed and swayed, the thin body slid up on the bed.  

 “No, nghh, agnh, ah, ah……!”

Vigorously pulling his hips closer and thrusting even deeper. Yoshino also tangled his legs around Hatori's waist and clung to his back.  His lips came close to mine as if a pleading from Yoshino. Biting and kissing, I devoured on the impulse/urge.

 “Nn,n,n,nn……ngh”

 As I rocked my hips with our bodies close together, Yoshino's erection, which was overflowing with semen, rubbed against my abdomen. It seemed that the limit was already in sight.

When I parted my lips, there was a face right there that looked like it was about to burst into tears.

 “Tori……ngh, already, I’m coming, please……nghh”

In the blink of an eye, a single tear fell from Yoshino's eyes. I thought I'd tease him more, but I changed my mind on that expression.

“I know”

 Immediately, I increased the pace and caught up with Yoshino.  

 “Ahh, ahh, ah……ngh”  

 “-------Chiaki”

 “AH-----!?”

After an intense urging, they came almost simultaneously. Yoshino's lower abdomen quivered intermittently, overflowing with white turbidity.

 “Ah, nn……ngh”

 Then, after Hatori poured all the proof of his desire into Yoshino, he also pulled himself out. We remained silent, waiting for the heat to recede from our bodies. As I closed my eyes and surrendered to the pleasant exhaustion, Yoshino opened his mouth with rough breathing.

“……I've been meaning to tell you this for a while”

“Hm?”

“It’s foul play to call my name like that!”

Yoshino caught his breath, then paused, and grudgingly complained in Hatori's ear.

Personal notes: Hatori’s monologue is so sad omgg...the scene is like both sexy and hurt at the same time...what a writer

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Dating Beverly Marsh Would Include...

Requested: [I'm sorry I can't remember who requested this or if this was an anon, I'm sorry!] Hey, could I request some headcanons about dating Beverly? (Also if you could add in the reader having homophobic parents 💕)

Warnings: obviously there will be homophobia, [at the end so people can skip if they need to read safely 😊] specifically from the readers parents so please feel free to skip if need be. And remember my blog is a safe space 💕 oh yeah theres also plenty of grammar/spelling errors i'm sure

A//n: This was WAY longer than I anticipated. I just kept coming up with more stuff and holy crap I love writing Bev x readers???? Please request more Bev Edit: this was in my drafts forever and again as much as i have been trying to get requests out in order, it's been pretty tough but at least this way stuff gets out sooner so here ya go.

Okay

First of all..

Y'all make the CUTEST COUPLE, OKAY?!

Like no joke

You know that cliche about girls stealing their boyfriends hoodies/clothes??

Well that goes for both of you and you both are always swapping clothes cause you both love each other's sense of style

Plus, ya know, it's got that great boyfriend girlfriend smell

It's cheesy and played out, but it's honestly so wholesome, and again, you guys each have an interest in each others senses of styles

If you're bigger than her, and her clothes don't necessarily fit you, pfffttt no big deal, she had a million blankets that smelled like her and then you two got together and now she can only find like,, two. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love stealing your clothes!! They're baggier on her but oH MY GOODNESS DOES SHE LOVE THAT. She just loves being able to completely immerse herself in your stuff. Especially when she isn't feeling safe in her own home and you aren't around, the best thing for her is to wrap herself in her your stuff and be comforted by you. Uggh, its hella sweet

But let's start from the beginning...

Both of you knew about each other from school

You definitely heard the many rumors about "Beaver-ly Marsh"

Not that you participated, but you were always overhearing rumors from gossiping girls and bragging boys in your class

Your school wasn't huge but it wasn't small either

But it was kill or be be killed, and rumors spread like the damn plague

It was inevitable

And it was just a matter of time before you overheard the several rumors of the "slut" who did it with every guy in school.

You'd roll you're eyes at the word and the ridiculous insinuations, knowing the massively overplayed game of telephone that ruled your school was not necessary the most credible source of information

And you were positive there were rumors about you, I mean, it really wasn't possible to go to that school without a rumor going around

Everyone had one

Anyways, you never paid much attention to them, but then you met her...

And oh no.

Immediately, it was:

You already never paid much mind to the rumors, but when you got to know each other??

Nuh uh.

No way

Not Beverly

No no no no, no

She was way too sweet, and shy, and beautiful, and awesome, and funny, annnd oh no the damn butterflies were back and shit she made you feel things

And you??

Bevery had no clue she was into girls until you came along...

You were her gay awakening and her being so used to all those nasty things people said about her and all those boys??

Even though it wasn't true, any of it, she still always expected that eventually one day she'd get her first boyfriend, to love and cuddle with and everything normal

Again, then you came along and her heart was all like

BOOM BOOM BEECH

You both danced around each other a lot. Seeing as you were two precious little gay beans that lived in a conservative town in the 80s, it wasn't exactly the most accepting environment and you guys didn't know if the other was into girls at all

On both sides it was "does she like me or is she just really laid back and friendly???"

It took way too long to figure out you were both into each other

If I'm being completely honest here, y'all were like the female reddie

Two girls who became best friends and always bickered like crazy to hide your feelings

The way you two found out you had feelings for one another was bumpy and awkward but silly and cute nonetheless

It came off in a passing comment that just slipped out

The two of you were having a sleepover like you did every Friday night you were available

and you two were laying on her bedroom floor talking about anything and everything staring at the ceiling

Her radio was playing in the background and the two of you were surrounded by various snacks you had been munching on all throughout the night and the conversation drifted to gossip about your peers at school

It went a little something like this:

Y: "Did you see so and so today??"

B: "Yes!!"

Y: *laughing* "Yeah, what the hell was that?"

B: I have no idea what goes on in her head...

B: but I guess I gotta give her some credit, she's always super confident and I'm like, 90% sure that's what makes her the most desirable girl in the 8th grade"

Y: "I guess that makes sense"

B: "I do wish I had her confidence. Maybe I'd have better luck romantically"

Y: "Oh please, like you need that. You're infinitely more attractive than her"

B: "What?"

Y: *panicked* "What?"

B: *slowly sits up with smug ass smirk on her lips* are you saying you find me... attractive?"

Y: ..."what?" *sweating*

B: *still smirking* "Wait,"

Y: "WhAT?"

B: *stILL smirking* "do you-?"

Y: *full on gay panic* "No!"

B: *smirking and blushing*

B: *lays back down* "well, I think you're pretty attractive yourself, if it's any consolation"

She's still so nervous though so it comes out in a whisper

She's 99 percent certain you just accidentally revealed your crush to her but her heart was p o u n d i n g anyway

What if it just came out wrong and that's why you panicked???

Had she just revealed her crush to you by mistake???

But no

You both were a blushing mess and it did not go unnoticed by either one of you

You're hands kinda accidently brushed and you both just had a heart attack on the spot

But the connection you two had that night

You both just... knew

You guys kinda just... happened

After that you both were aware you liked each other

But it was kind of unspoken

At first

It's not like you guys never talked about it, but you two definitely became more touchy and flirty

Holding hands when no one was looking

Shortly before you guys happened and before that night, she had introduced you to losers and they just totally accepted you as one of their own

You got along especially well with Richie (wonder why)

But Bev wasn't too happy about this particular fact...

Especially after you two got together

She wasn't necessarily jealous, especially cause she already had a sneaking suspicion about his feelings for another loser, but because he took up a lot of her time with you

But then, to her chagrin, Richie found out about you two

the eight of you were hanging out in the clubhouse, and Ben had to make some adjustments so him and the others left momentarily to help him get the resources

Except you, and Bev

You two volunteered to hold down the fort [literally]

aaaaaaand you two wanted to have a few minutes alone together too,

Nothing scandalous or anything like that, but you two didn't get be close around the losers

Then Richie returned way earlier than expected [turns out he was doing more harm than good and they sent him back]

He was just outside the entrance and he overheard you two

"I wish we could tell them,"

"I know. And it's not that I don't think they'll accept us, it's-" *sigh* "I'm just not ready... I'm sorry"

"Don't be. It's okay, we can tell them when we're both good and ready."

"Thank you, Y/n."

Richie just kinda stood there thinking about what he just heard

I mean, it made sense, you guys were really close, but then again, that's just how he thought all girls were

But everything else kinda made more sense the more he thought about it

And, it honestly reminded him of him and Eddie

More specifically, how he felt about his best friend

Now naturally this was a very emotional moment, but Richie Tozier being Richie Tozier wasn't about to waltz in there and give some sappy speech about he accepts you guys and he's here for you no matter what

No, no, no

He laid down on the forest floor, sticking his head in the clubhouse scaring the shit out of you two and said

"You guys should really be more quiet, Ben may be a suspiciously good overnight kid architect sensation but he has yet to soundproof this baby"

He then stuck his arm inside the clubhouse, patting the ceiling, shaking a couple spiders loose from his his hand in disgust

"Richie...!"

You two jumped apart and you about nearly shit your pants

"Relax, I'm not gonna tell anyone,"

You both were startled as hell and absolutely disgruntled but the two of you looked at each other, simultaneously breathing a sigh of relief

He got up and joined you two in the clubhouse, and began lounging in his usual spot in the hammock, arms behind his head

"So, this means you two are both into girls, huh?"

Once again, you looked at one another and back at him, nodding shyly

He plastered on the most mischievous smirk you had ever seen and nodded his head, his huge eyes squinting slightly from behind his glasses

"niceee"

This of course was followed by simultaneous eye rolls, Bev even threw her gum wrapper at him but you laughed

It was a relieved laugh

Here you were, exposed and unintentionally outed to Richie "Trashmouth" Tozier and sure enough his reaction was "nICE"

It was honestly a relief and kinda hilarious

You guys just kinda broke out into laughter

It was nice moment

***TRIGGER WARNING FOR [PARENTAL] HOMOPHOBIA BELOW***

And for a while, everything was great. That was, until your parents began to take note just how much time you were spending with Bev

They kept an eye on it at first

Then they started asking questions

You knew this day would come one way or another

Hell, you grew up with them after all, you knew what they thought about people like you and it broke your heart

It terrified you

And it's exactly what you heard every night when you tried to fall asleep, their voices speaking to you clear as day; how disgusted they were. They weren't really there of course and it wasn't until you became a loser that you found out what that voice was...

The point is, your deepest fear was being realized so you did what you could do

Lie

And it seemed to work. Briefly

Your mother had come in to check on you two for the fifth time - usually she checked on you two four times since their suspicions - and found you two snuggled up on top of your sleeping bags

Your mother screamed, scaring the crap out of you guys and you jumped apart

Your mother was thrown into hysterics and went to fetch your father, wailing like a damn baby

Needless to say that night was a long one for everyone

And as if things couldn't get any worse, just days later you found out that Beverly had been taken by It

Immediately, every doubt, every fear, every inkling of shame your parents and your community had drilled into you was forgotten and all that mattered was getting her back

You and your friends literally went through hell to get her back

Needless to say it was a terrifying ordeal but you all had each other's backs and everyone came out okay

When you left Neibolt, you and Beverly were hand in hand

You couldn't give a flying fck about it, you just fought a shape-shifting demon clown you could face your small minded parents

And more importantly you knew even if your parents didn't support you, you had other people who did that and that was enough

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

Hope you enjoyed, sorry it's so long and again this is out of order of who requested it so I'm sorry to those of you who had stuff in before this, but I've just been stuck for too long and I needed to get things moving again. Anyways, I hoped you guys like this and again, omg I love writing Beverly!!! I would not be offended if you guys asked for more Bev fics/hc when I open up requests again

[hardforbenhardy]

somebody to love pt.2 | rogerxreader

warnings: fluff, sad vibes a lil, smallest tiniest inference of sex (blink and you’ll miss it)

word count: 4.1k

part 2 of somebody to love is here! it’s going a little slow, but i promise, we will get some roger/reader action next chapter!!

taglist: @jennyggggrrr

It is finally Monday, the day you've been dreading all weekend after the little... incident. Your minds been clouded with thoughts of what Roger may do, you could barely spend time with your Ma and Pa the whole of yesterday. Not to mention, they were kind of disappointed at the fact you didn't have the money to pay for their water bills. You’re pulled from your dreams by the blaring sound of your alarm from your bedside table, a groan releasing from your lips as you push yourself from the comfort of your silk sheets. You can hear Freddie's angelic voice soaring through the apartment as he sings along to the radio; it's like waking up to the melodic tunes of birds outside your window, but better. You quickly got dressed, knowing you don't have a lot of time before you need to be in school, and run down stairs to grab a snack from the kitchen. Freddie notices you, but instead of saying anything, he just gave you a huge grin and a thumbs up as a form of motivation. It's strange how Freddie is able to light up any room he is in, if only you had that ability, you may actually have friends. Not that you don't like your life already- sure it has its rather larger downsides, but you like spending time by yourself; it's calming, you don't have to rely on people and most importantly people don't have to rely on you. It's just, you’re fucking lonely. That's it basically. Everyone your age is in relationships, or sleeping around, or at least getting it on with someone in more than a friendship kind of way - and you’re just not. You wander through the university campus to class, which starts in 10 minutes, and you see couples cuddling and/or making out; large groups of friends laughing and having fun; the sport teams having a large football match on the field; the drama club sitting around to learn their scripts; even the music club playing their instruments to mildly entertain passers by such as you (which in fact, it is much more irritating than it is entertaining at 9 in the morning). Everyone seems so active and full of joy, and then there's you. You don't know why you’re so separated from everyone else, you've just always been like this. You remember on the first day of secondary school, you were sat alone the whole day; no one sat with you, spoke to you, no one even knew your name - you were known as "that weird girl" for the first 3 months of your education, until the teacher finally picked on you to present in class and you had to start by saying your name. You liked it then if you were being honest, you didn't have to reach anyone's expectations and you certainly weren’t a victim of peer pressure - but now it just makes you feel like a piece of shit. Sure, you have Freddie, but it's not exactly much is it. You just wish you had someone who would love you for you and actually want to spend time with you; is that so much to ask for?

As you entered the dry lab, you noticed that everyone was there but one person in particular. Roger. Fuck sake, where is he? You went to sit in your secluded seat, in the corner of the room, praying to God Roger wasn't in today at all and he had bunked off. Your racing thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Smith raising her voice:

"Okay, class, instead of a test, we are doing a small practical today - it doesn't go towards anything, but it is important we understand the skills and can therefore apply it to any furt-" And with that, Roger burst through the door, panting and wheezing like he had just ran a mile. "Ah, Mister Taylor, late again are we? Look, if you want to get your degree, I suggest you buckle down and get here on time - this isn't an easy course and I'm not going to teach you if this is how you treat it"

"Sorry, my um, my car broke down and I had to run to school" Roger heaved, placing both his hands on his knees as he faced the ground and took in long hard breaths. Droplets of sweat glided down his forehead as he attempted to catch his breath, and you couldn't help but admire the way it framed his face; his hair still scraggly from sleep, and his clothes slightly torn from what you presumed was multiple trips when running. He looked strangely sexy. Fuck. Why were you thinking like this? But it's true... his voice was raspy and choked, from the running - but you can only imagine that's what he always sounds like when he's exhausted. When else might he be exhausted? God, you could only imagine his voice whispering into my ears after a long, hard -

"Do you mind love?" - you were pulled from your daydream, looking up to see him stood there, staring at the empty seat beside you. Your heart began to beat at an irregular pace. Why is he talking to you? Why is he sitting next to you? Did he just call you love? Does he recognise you? Is this some kind of sick joke to him? "Oh- uh, n-no" you stuttered, struggling to even form a simple sentence after your overwhelming wave of emotions which had just washed over you. He threw his briefcase on the floor beside him; pulling out his folder, which was half the size of yours, making you wonder whether Roger actually takes notes in this class or rather it's all just stored in that incredible brain of his. God he is so smart. And sometimes, like today, he has to wear his glasses in class if he forgets his sunglasses, which perfectly frame his face; they make him look so fucking sexy. OMG what the fuck is going on with you?! "Uh- uhm, why are you sitting next to me?" you barely choked out, trying to take your mind off the whole... Roger's incredibly overwhelming persona.

"Prof said we are partnered for this practical, love" He explained, tone still deep and stifled although his breathing has began to go back to normal. You could sense an awkward tension between the two of you the moment he sat down; you knew this was a bad idea and you knew you should've just bunked off. As he began to prepare the equipment for the practical, you couldn't help but stare at his face; his eyes clouded over as he bites his bottom lip from utter concentration. "See something you like?"

He lifted his head, smirking in your direction after you snap out of my trance; you had been staring at him while chewing on the end of your pen. "Oh- uhh, sorry. Sorry. Nice glasses" you panicked, swiftly turning your head in the other direction, until you heard a chuckle and a small 'thanks' come from beside you- which you were instantly able to recognise as Rogers, considering he was the only person who has sat next to you in the past few months on this course. The suspense in the atmosphere only got heightened with every second going past, and you couldn't bare to sit here anymore. "Look, I know you saw me on Saturday. I don't know if you've sat here to tease me or take the piss or whatever but I'm not in the fucking mood- I'm surviving off 3 hours sleep and 5 coffees so if you're not even going to talk to me about what you saw, then you can piss off"

Roger doesn't say anything to respond, and instead just looked at you with a semblance of speechlessness, as if he's trying to conjure up a sentence in which he won't offend or make things more awkward than they already are - failing of course as he eventually comes out with "Y-you have nice moves". You felt your cheeks immediately blush, getting redder and redder; although his words sent chills down your spine, you couldn't let it show.

"What the fuck Roger!" you exclaimed, slapping his arm harder than you originally intended, as he acknowledged it with a sharp 'ow' and quickly reached to rub the now-red area as a way of soothing it. "Sorry . But seriously, you can't tell anyone. Please. If you do, my life will be fucking ruined and I plan on actually doing something with it and if people fin-"

"Y/N, I'm not going to tell anyone." He quickly retorted, making your head turn to face him as a sudden feeling of shock ran through you. Why wouldn't he tell people? "R-really?!" you spluttered, the words barely reaching the surrounding.

"Why would I tell people?"

"Erm, because it's not exactly a thing I should be proud of and you could ruin my life with it and that's kind of what you popular kids do, not to mention you probably think I'm a slut or something because of it" you mumbled, shying away from making any form of eye contact with him. Mainly because the atmosphere is getting increasingly more awkward by the second, but also because you can't deny; you could stare into his eyes all day and I'm afraid if you start you may not be able to stop.

"I'm not that much of a dickhead, love. I don't know why you have... that job, but I'm not going to go around spreading your personal shit."

"Right, sorry. Thank you." you let a fake smile grow on your face, and once noticing him return a wide grin - it became a real one. There was a small moment of silence before you asked one question that had undoubtedly been on my mind all weekend; "W-what were you actually doing there? There are never any lads younger than 30 in that place"

"Oh, erm, I was meant to meet a girl there"

"For a date? You were going to take a girl on a date to a strip club" you emphasised, trying your hardest not to laugh loudly at the idiocy of the Rogers idea of a good date.

"Yeah. But I didn't know it was a strip club - she was the one who gave me the address and told me to meet her there. But she never showed." He explained, with a small sadness to his tone. You felt a pang of guilt and empathy wash over you as he spoke, understand completely how it feels to be stood up; it has happened on multiple occasions and you've basically accepted it's your destiny to be alone by now. "Oh, I'm sorry. She sounds like a bitch"

"She kind of was - I only agreed to the date because she was a good shag" Roger muttered under his breath, most likely hoping you didn't hear him; but you did. You almost choked at his statement, but really you just feel a little shit. You know, of course, Roger is what some might call a 'ladies man'; but the idea of him sleeping around isn't something you keep on your mind because you let it get to you. You say you'd like to be one of those girls, but honestly, you don't just want to be a one time shag that Roger has before moving onto the next. Which is exactly the reason you had originally attempted to push all the feelings you had for Roger deep, deep down - but of course they can't stay down for long, because as soon as Roger walked in the room, you had fallen all over again. And before you knew it, it was the end of the session. Which meant you'd now have to go to the library for the next 4 hours, sitting by yourself and reading over your notes for the hundredth time, pretending like you didn't just want to scrap all your work and quit. As you began to pack my stuff away, you heard Roger cough beside me - in the kind of way that says he's asking for your attention. "Hey, Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Erm, I'm performing at Imperial tonight, would you maybe want to come along? I understand if you're busy or something, I mean you are always studying, not that that's a bad thing but I understand if you can't come, I just thought you could do with some fun and I think you're a really nice girl and I wanted to hang out some more you know- but like I said, you don't have to come, you're probably super busy so" Roger muttered, looking to the floor whilst twiddling his thumbs; nerves prominent in his tone. A wide grin grew on your face as he spoke; he wanted to hang out.

"I'd love to - like you said, I could do with a night out that doesn't involve biology in any form." you smiled, as Rogers head shoots up and he gives you a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushed through you. He threw his bag over his shoulder, before heading out; you following shortly after. "So, what do you mean by performing?"

"Oh, well I'm in a band with some of my mates, it's nothing much. We play every Sunday and Monday night." He explained, hands in his jean pockets as he walked me home. Slightly stunned by his admission, you looked up at him before asking "What do you play then?"

"Oh, I'm the drummer"

And with that, you were frozen in your place as you stood in shock at the new revelation. Roger Taylor was a drummer? Your eyes widened and your mouth fell ajar at the unfamiliar thought, your mind trying to comprehend such information. Not only is Roger Taylor smoking hot, super kind (well, he seemed) AND incredibly intelligent - but he also plays the drums? Just when you thought he possibly couldn't get any more attractive, he goes and pulls this out of the bag. Roger notices your sudden halting, and turns to look at you with a confused face; "Hey, you okay? You need help?" He cautioned, the worry prominent in his tone, snapping you out of the trance you were in.

"What? Oh, yeah, sorry, just got lost in my thoughts" you chuckled, looking towards the ground as embarrassment grew on your cheeks, pacing forward to catch up with Roger who was at least 5 steps in front of you. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Huh?" you questioned, furrowing your brows as your head shot up to face. If he was now going to make you come up with a fake thought in less than five seconds, you think you may just freak out, because there is no way you can explain to him that you fancy him and therefore was dreaming about the absolute charmer he was. "Penny for your thoughts - what you thinking about?"

Fuck.

"What are we, 5 years old?" you giggled, putting a sharp facade of humour when you knew deep down your brain was racking for something, anything that may sound at least an inch better than 'I think I may love you'.

"Come on, I can tell something's bothering you. You can trust me you know - I thought I'd have proven that by now"

"I just... why are you talking to me?" you sputter out, it being the first thing to come to your head.

"What on earth do you mean?"

"I mean, why are you even associating yourself with me - I'm the weird loner who sits in the back of class, who no one talks to, or even looks at, who has one friend and has a job as a stripper. I'm not stupid Roger, I know people don't want to associate themselves with the 'quiet' girl, so why are you?" you ranted, finally releasing a long breath after venting, feeling tears pricked your eyes as you realised you were now facing your actual reality. Why was Roger suddenly trying to be your friend? "I mean, was this some kind of dare? Or have you decided you want to add me to your list of sexual escapades because don't think I haven't noticed you've only started talking to me after seeing me strip. Or do you just want to cheat your way through the course, hoping I'll end up doing your work for you?"

You stopped after hearing a small chuckle from beside you, and looked to see Rogers face sporting a little grin, clearly amused by you. "Do you know what, just fuck off. Forget about tonight, I'm leaving" you raged, beginning to storm away as anger boiled inside you at Rogers apparent sense of humour, or lack thereof. He seriously found this funny, whilst you stood here, opening up feelings you would never usually share to anyone apart from Freddie. You tended to struggle opening up about your emotions to people, unless you have a decent amount of wine in my system to flush away the shame that is. Instead, you keep them buried deep down, and you know they're bound to erupt one day- you have a slight feeling today might just be the day. You were halted in your motion as the tight grasp of a hand clutched onto your wrist, causing you to stumble back. "No, wait, Y/N m'sorry! I wasn't laughing at you, I promise."

His apologetic tone rang in your ears, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks once again as you realised how pathetic you were actually being. "The fuck were you laughing at then, 'cause I don't see any fucking clowns wandering 'round here"

"I-I, I wasn't laughing at you! I just, well, I don't really have a reason- why do I need a reason? You are super cool and you seem nice, I just wanted to get to know you."

"You still didn't answer my question." you grumbled, pouting your lips out as you dropped your head to face the floor; your cheeks beginning to redden at the idea that Roger just wanted to get to know you. No one ever just wanted to get to know you; there was always a reason. They would use you to up their grade a little; they would feel sorry for you because you’re a fucking loner; they would attempt to be friendly in hopes of getting you into their bed for the night. That was admittedly the worst one, considering it was the most common. You have never had a true friend, let alone boyfriend, so you can certainly count on yourself to be the biggest virgin gracing this earth. You'd think having a job which was in that kind of area, you’d be basically the opposite; but you agreed with yourself when you started the job that if there was one thing you would never ever turn to, it'd be sleeping with the men in the club. Not only were they almost twice my age, but they weren't exactly the most graceful, gentlemanly men you'll ever meet. Not that Roger was any more chivalrous, from what you'd heard, but at least you were the same age and you actually know him. Though you may be completely conflicting personalities; you being a quiet, reserved, and overall anxious character and Roger being one of loud, adventurous, energetic tendencies; they say opposites attract... right?

"Okay, well, maybe I was laughing at you - but not in a bad way. I was just thinking, you are kind of cute when you are angry y'know" Roger confessed, trying to come off as if he was confident and almost flirty in his words, but you swear you saw his teeth grind from nerves as he spoke.You began to feel your cheeks flush at his simplistically adorable words. "I swear to god, Roger Taylor, if you are trying to flirt with me - I will walk away right now" you giggled, poking his chest a little harder than you expected, gaining a laugh from Roger too. As the laughter died down, you realised you had reached yours and Freddie's flat already, and you still had hours to kill until tonight.

"Erm, this is my block" you muttered, pointing to the entrance of the block of flats you were slowly approaching.

"I know - we live in the same block." He chuckled, opening the door and standing against it, his arm gesturing you to walk through. Maybe he was a gentleman? "Thank you. How come I never see you around the block?"

"I don't know - I've seen you around a few times, usually when you are going out in the evening; presumably to work. I mean, you are always in the library"

"I guess." you chuckled, beginning to walk up the steps to the third floor, where your flat resided. Roger followed swiftly behind, attempting to catch up with you. There was silence as you walked up the stairs; but it wasn't the uncomfortable kind of silence. It was more the kind where you just enjoy each others company in the moment. The better kind. Once you had reached your apartment door, Roger stopped, almost as if he knew where it was without even asking. You didn't bother to question how he knew which flat you lived in, and instead just began unlocking the door.

"I'll, erm, I guess I'll see you tonight? Meet me backstage once we finished our set?" He asked, leaning on his side against the entrance banister. You looked up, but continued turning the key in the lock with movement memory, swiftly taking the key out the lock and opening the door to walk through. "Yeah, of course. You don't mind if I bring Freddie with me do you? He loves a night out"

"Fred's your roommate right? Yeah, sure" He nodded, twiddling his thumbs together. You swear you heard him sigh and possibly roll his eyes at your suggestion, but you gave him a quick smile, as if to say 'see you tonight' before closing the door behind yourself and releasing a loud sigh. As soon as you had locked it, you slid down the wooden door letting out a muffled scream into the bundled coat now in your lap. You could hear Freddie's steps approaching you from the living room, quick paced with urgency. "You alright, darling?"

"Fucking amazing Fred" You grinned, the pace of your heart gradually decreasing again after its irregular habits when you were with Roger.

"I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I heard the one and only Roger Taylor's voice as you walked in the door?" He chuckled, finding your lustful infatuation merely a piece of comedy for his entertainment. "So where is it you are taking me for a night out then?"

"Roger invited me out to the Imperial, he's performing with his band - He plays the drums, Fred. I thought he was already an angel but then he reveals he's a fucking drummer too. Fred, I think I may just suffer a heart attack if I spend even one more second around him."

"So Roger invited you out? And you asked if I could come along? I think your brain has finally fizzled out, love. Are you completely insane?"

"I don't want to die. And I'm sure it'll happen if I have to spend any more time with him alone." you sighed, your heart beating out your chest at the mere thought of spending time with Roger by yourselves. God, how am you meant to cope in a relationship with him when you can barely even hold a conversation. "I said I'd meet him backstage after their set, so we should leave around 8? What should I wear? I don't own any nice clothes Fred! All my clothes are baggy jumpers and joggers - ugh Fred take me shopping!"

"You know I can't turn down a shopping spree darling, grab your shoes and coat!" Freddie exclaimed, making you chuckle under your breath at his extravagance. He held out his hand, which you hesitantly took into line, and yanked you up from your previously comfortable position you found for yourself on the floor. You pulled on your boots and coat, wrapping your scarf around your neck to accommodate for the autumn weather outside. Fred told you of a store just a 10 minute walk from the flat, which was his favourite shop to buy clothes in; Biba. He had never really mentioned the store until a few days back, after going to a small gig by himself. You just remember him coming home relatively sober and with a look of infatuation growing on his face and in his eyes. He never really talks about what happened that night - you just presumed he'd maybe had a good hookup.

[27emailsicantsend]

Muffy first kiss?? I know I'm asking for a lot of headcannons I'm sorry

Author Note: I talked to the person who requested this, it is actually for their second kiss (just a typo) and I requested that I write it as a one shot instead to make my idea flow a little easier, so that’s what I’ll be writing.

Muffy Second Kiss One Shot

It had been three days since the party. Three days since the best night of Buffy’s life. Three day since the hardest night of Buffy’s life. Three days since she kissed Marty from the Party. 

She was sitting on her bed, tying her boot laces up as she thought about the first time she met Marty. They were standing at a food table at one of Andi’s other big parties, throwing lines back and forth at each other. Their banter was unmatchable. She thought about how easily she connected with Marty. How did one small, funny interaction about eating a live frog turn into this? Turn into her being head over heels for the boy with the cute dimples, the boy who got jokes twenty seconds too late, the boy who never pushed her past her limits. He reminded her of what was good for her, but knew when to back down to her stubborn mind.

While everything was still crazy to her, she knew one thing for certain: she wanted more of Marty. After they kissed, he put his arm around her as they walked back into the party. He held her close and it felt right being there. As if his arm was meant for her. They danced, threw bants, and laughed with friends for the rest of the night until Andi said she was leaving.

Buffy shuddered. It was too hard to think about. The night took a turn for the worse after she hugged Marty good bye. As much as Buffy wanted to be happy for Andi, she knew she couldn’t handle the idea of Andi being at a different school from her and Cyrus. She could barely handle it when she almost moved last year- how could Andi leave now? She probably won’t come back right after she leaves...

Buffy could feel tears forming in her eyes and so she shook herself again, grabbed her backpack and caught the bus to school.

At school, Buffy wasn’t sure if she should talk to Marty... avoid him... they did really well talking at the party and had texted through the weekend, but the idea of seeing him again scared her for some reason. How do you face each other again after such an intimate reaction? She tried to avoid the thought as she went about her school day.

Buffy managed to not see him at all that day. Her thoughts kept going back and forth between him and Andi and it made school incredibly difficult to focus on. She struggled taking notes, had no idea what a teacher asked her while she was spacing, and even failed to be sympathetic to Cyrus when he was sad he didn’t get a chocolate-chocolate-chip-muffin.

TJ and Cyrus acted really cool that day. They joked around, held hands, and seemed really normal after getting together at the party. So why was it so scary for her to see Marty?

Buffy went home and began to work on her homework. She fumbled through it as her brain couldn’t focus and she found herself standing up to do something else or checking her phone every five minutes. She was also surprised that Marty hadn’t texted her at all that day. Did she do something wrong? Did she say something to make him angry? The texts from yesterday were fine. What is going on?

Ding-Dong

Buffy jumped at the opportunity to get the door and away from her thoughts. She swung the door open.

Marty.

Her first thought was to panic, but it felt impossible to now seeing him. She didn’t know why seeing him again had freaked her out so much. It felt so natural to see his face; so easy being in his presence.

“Hey,” Buffy said with a small smile.

“Hey, Buffy. How are you?” Marty was grinning ear-to-ear. Everything was fine between them.

“I’m good. Why are you here?”

“I can’t just stop by to see you?”

“Well, of course you can! I was just working on some homework and didn’t expect to see you since I hadn’t seen you at school at all today, not this morning or-” Buffy caught herself. She realized that might come off as if she had been waiting around for him. Well- she had been- but he didn’t need to know that. “-I just thought you might have been sick or something. That’s all”. It wasn’t a great recover, but it would do.

“Nah,” Marty chuckled. “I’m doing just fine. Must have just missed crossing paths. Say, can we talk outside for a minute?”

Oh no, Buffy thought, he really does want to end things. How could I have been so delusional from that grin? He smiles at everything. He’s Marty.��

Buffy continued to work herself up in her head as she calmly, but slightly confused said, “ok?...”

Marty grabbed her hand and led her to the doorstep. They sat down. He looked at her again, but this time the gaze was different. Longing? Maybe. Deep? Definitely.

“Buffy?” He asked as he put a hand on her knee. “How are you really?”

Buffy started to feel defensive. She didn’t do anything wrong! Why is he trying to end things?

“I’m fine, Marty. I’ve been fine and I am fine. I just told you that,” Buffy said, with a slight edge to her voice. She moved her leg away in an attempt to withdraw from Marty emotionally.

Marty sensed her discontent, but somehow knew it was just her shielding. He knew her boundaries and respected them. That’s why Buffy liked him so much. Or at least she thought she did until he came to hurt her. She could feel the tears start to form in her eyes out of anger. Hadn’t she been through enough? She didn’t need this today.

“Buffy,” Marty said, gently, “do you know why I came here?”

Yes, Buffy thought. Physically, however, she just hovered away from Marty and shrugged her shoulders.

“Cyrus sent me.”

This caused Buffy’s head to snap up back at him, eyes wide. Maybe she didn’t know what was going on. “Cyrus sent you? Why?” 

Marty gave Buffy a little half smile. “He wanted me to make sure you were ok. He said you had been acting off all day and seemed distant with him during lunch. He felt like something was off but didn’t want to push you. He thought maybe I could come check on you instead”.

Buffy’s whole body relaxed. She panicked for absolutely no reason. Marty wasn’t mad at her at all, in fact, he wanted to make sure she was ok. Cyrus was so sweet for thinking of her and not trying to push her to talk. She was so lucky... well... except for Andi.

She looked at Marty and gazed into his eyes for a few seconds with a soft smile on her face. She wanted to say she was sorry for being so short with him, but couldn’t find the words. So instead she just decided to talk about what was on her mind.

Marty placed his hand back on her knee. She placed her hand on his, lightly grabbing it. As she rested it there, she lightly rubbed his hand back and forth with her thumb. She watched this small movement as she talked.

“Andi is leaving. She told Cyrus, Jonah, and I after the party. She got accepted into this really fancy art school- SAVA- and I just feel like... it might... break.. us up....” Buffy’s voice began to trail as she started to get choked up. She hated crying and couldn’t handle the idea of Marty seeing that emotion in her. She needed to be strong.

She swallowed in an attempt to compose her self (which slightly worked considering it caused the feeling of her needing to cry to stop), blinked hard to reset her eyes from the tears, and continued to speak.

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I am happy for her- I really am- but she’s my best friend, Marty. Cyrus has TJ. Jonah is busy with Bowie. Heck if I ever see Amber around after this. I just feel like my friends and I are all going to fall apart because of this move and I just can’t take the idea of us leaving and me being alone”.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Marty interrupted to get her to stop talking for a second. She didn’t notice but her voice had began to speed up drastically as she talked. He put his free hand up to her face and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “Buffy, you already know, I won’t leave you. You are not alone”.

It’s true, Buffy thought. Even after their awkward fight last year, he still never truly left. He kept tabs with her while he waited for her to come back and when she was ready to see him again, he was ready to see her. Even after she broke his heart.

Buffy stared at him and bit her lip contemplating. She pulled the hand down he had on her face and kissed him. This kiss was a little longer, a little more intimate than their first. It was a way to thank Marty. It was a way to show she trusted him. It was a way to show that she knew that even if the Good Hair Crew didn’t last, she would make sure she and Marty would. He mattered to her as much as they did and it felt good to know she had a partner to go through these tough times with. He really was that guy.

When the kiss broke, Buffy leaned back and said, without wavering, “I know”. 

Request by: @muffy-thatsit-thatsall

[shasta627]

Ship Appreciation Week Day 4: OTP ft. Gababel

So I realize Ship Appreciation week on Discord ended a few days ago, but because my profs like to give abundant amounts of homework, I haven’t been able to work on anything fandom related and am just now getting around to posting content. So without further do, here’s my late Valentine’s Day fic (inspired by a discussion I had with my gal @lovelyrugbee) about my favorite ship 😜

~♡~

The first wave of nausea hit before Isabel had even opened her eyes.

Her head was spinning the moment she sat up, and as soon as her feet hit the ground it was a race to the bathroom before her stomach decided to empty the contents of last night's supper out onto the floor. She reached the edge of the bathtub just in time to avoid having to clean up another revolting mess, unlike the first time this had happened.

Once her stomach had stopped flipping and trying to jump out of her throat, Isabel lifted a shaky hand to wipe her mouth, leaning back on the floor and resting her head against the cool wall.

She’d been getting sick like this for nearly a week now. At first she thought it was just a stomach bug, maybe food poisoning at the most, but other than the occasional dizziness, fatigue, and strange aversion to the smell of cheese, she was completely normal.

Well, except for the vomiting almost every morning.  

Isabel squeezed her eyes closed and tried to take a deep breath. Her stomach started turning again, but this time it wasn’t from the nausea. She knew the symptoms all too well, having read so much about them plus watching her sister go through it three times. The dizziness, tiredness, queasiness, late cycle, aching skin… Isabel had it all.

She took another deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth, she recited to herself, trying to calm her internal turmoil at the inevitable truth of what she was experiencing.

She tried to convince herself that she wasn’t pregnant. She couldn’t be pregnant. She wasn’t ready to have kids yet. She and Gabe had only been married for one month, and had been taking precautions against this very thing. How could this happen? Why was this happening? And to her, of all people?

Isabel furiously blinked her eyes, turning her gaze towards the ceiling as her hand subconsciously rested on her flat stomach. It wasn't that she didn't want kids, but there were so many things going on in her life, she didn't know if she could handle the responsibility of being a mother on top of it all.

Or if she would even be a good mother.

A small sob escaped Isabel's lips and the tears came soon after, painting her cheeks with wet streaks. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself, all her fears of being a parent finally bubbling up and spilling over the edge.

Ask her about the inverse function of the quadratic formula or the angle of the sun during the summer solstice and she could formulate the answer in a heartbeat. But when it came to raising kids? She could read every book on parenting ever written but still not know a clue about how to be a mother. It wasn't a skill she could study; it wasn't a problem she could solve with a little science, math, and ingenuity—and it truly terrified her.

And what would Gabe think?

The thought brought on a whole new onslaught of worries. It was always right after he left for his Captain of the Guard duties that she ended up getting sick, so he still had no clue about her predicament. Would he be disappointed? Happy? They had both agreed on having kids someday, but what was he going to think about having them so soon?

Stop worrying, this is ridiculous! Isabel mentally berated herself, hating at how pitiful and selfish she was acting, but the thought of her pathetic behavior only distressed her more, and she couldn't help but cry harder.

Her emotional breakdown lasted for only a minute before she heard the door to the bedroom open, and then it was only a matter of seconds before Gabe rushed into the bathroom, his expression panicked.

“Isa!” he exclaimed in concern, dropping to the floor beside her. “Isa what's wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?” He ran his hands over her, as though checking for wounds before he noticed the vomit still in the bathtub. “Oh, cariña, are you sick?”

Isabel shook her head no, then nodded, then shook her head again. She swiped furiously at her tears and tried to compose herself. “I'm—I'm fine,” she lied. She wasn't expecting him to find her like this, and wasn't sure if she was ready to tell him. She was still having trouble accepting it all herself.

But of course Gabe could tell something was off with her. He gently tucked her hair behind her ears and brushed away a few remnant tears. “Isa, what's wrong?” His voice still contained a hint of panic. “How sick are you?”

Isabel's stomach was turning with uncertainty. She had to tell him eventually, but was now the time? She evaded the question by asking him one instead. “What're you doing back here? I thought you left for work.”

“I did, but then forgot I was taking some new recruits out on horseback today and came back to our room to get my riding boots and heard you crying. Now Isa, please, what's wrong? Do I need to call a doctor?” He stood up as though he was going to run off and do just that.

Isabel quickly got to her feet and shook her head furiously, which then brought on another wave of nausea. She fell back onto the ground and threw up into the bathtub again, Gabe holding back her hair and gently rubbing her back the whole time. When she was done she gratefully accepted the clean towel he gave her to wipe her face, and then before she could think she blurted out, “I'm pregnant.”

Both of them froze at her words. Isabel bit her lip as she watched his face morph from confusion to pure shock.

“For—for real?” He finally managed to say, his eyes as wide as saucers. “You're, you're…” he trailed off as his eyes landed on her stomach, as though he'd be able to see a baby bump already.

“Yes,” Isabel confirmed, and then burst into tears again.

Gabe looked thoroughly alarmed at her reaction, but gently took her by the arm and led her out of the bathroom and to the edge of their bed. “Hey, hey, what's wrong? Isa, this is….amazing! Why are you upset?”

“Because we're not ready!” she tried to explain, cursing her wayward emotions. “We had a plan! Wait two years then we'd have kids. And this—this isn't going to plan! It's sudden and unpredictable and, and…” Isabel swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice. “Gabe...I’m scared. What if I'm a horrible mom?” she admitted, meeting his eyes and revealing to him her most vulnerable fear.

“Isabel…” Gabe began, his voice soft and reassuring. He stepped forward to completely envelope her in his strong, secure arms, and Isabel sank into the hug, burying her face in his chest and squeezing him as tight as she could. She felt him press a kiss onto her hair, and the deep rumble in his chest as he spoke comforted her. “It’s natural to be scared, but don't think for a single moment that you're going to be a horrible mom.”

“But I already am,” she whispered, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. “What kind of mother has an emotional breakdown at the realization that she's pregnant? I should be overjoyed, but I'm not because apparently all I can do is worry about myself!” she quietly sobbed, her voice muffled into Gabe's shirt. Though just saying the words and admitting to him her darkest thoughts offered her a bit of relief from the guilt that had been building up inside her all morning. She just hoped he wouldn't think too ill of her at her divulgence.

Gabe tightened his arms around her and began gently stroking her back. “Mi cielito, that doesn't make you a terrible mother—it makes you human,” Gabe assured, slightly pulling away and tilting her chin up so she could look him in the eye. “It's natural to be scared, but just because you're concerned about yourself and the future doesn't mean you'll love our child any less.”

He smiled widely, his eyes suddenly shining. “Our child,” he repeated softly, cupping her face with his hands. “Our child, Isa, we're—we're going to be parents!”

His excitement was infectious, and Isabel felt some of her apprehensions slowly fade away.

“Yeah, we are,” she quietly agreed. “But...what if something goes wrong with the pregnancy? What if I mess something up? What if—”

Her questions were cut off by Gabe’s lips pressed against her own. When he finally drew away he gently caressed her cheek, his forehead still pressed against hers. “It's okay. I'm scared too,” he told her. “But I promise, we're going to do this together. You won't be alone, mi amada. I'll be with you every step of the way.” He was staring at her with such a tender, affectionate expression, Isabel couldn't help but blush.

“Okay,” she said, more to reassure herself than to him, but he kissed her again anyway, an ardent kiss full of passion and happiness and excitement and every other unspoken emotion the two of them were experiencing.

“I love you,” Gabe whispered once they parted, planting a soft kiss on her cheek. “I love you,” he said again, kissing her nose this time. He proceeded to pepper kisses all across her face, and by the fifth ‘I love you,’ Isabel found herself grinning from ear to ear. Tears still coursed down her cheeks, but now they were from anticipation and happiness rather than just fear.

Gabe was right. She shouldn't worry so much. Sure, they were both scared and new to it all, but they would surely have help from Elena and everyone else to give them support.

They were in this together. Plan or no plan, as long as Gabe was by her side, she realized everything was going to be alright.

~♡~

8 Months Later…

“Twins! Twins! Who would've thought?” Elena quietly exclaimed in amusement as she stood with Mateo by the doorway. Both of them were watching Gabe and Isabel with fond expressions, remembering exactly what it was like to be parents for the first time.

Gabe was curled up next to Isabel on the bed, one arm wrapped around her shoulders while the other cradled a small bundle of blankets to his chest. Isabel was holding a similar bundle as she leaned into her husband's embrace, both of them completely enraptured by their two new baby boys, Dante and Damian.  

Mateo draped his arms around Elena from behind and rested his chin on top of her head, smiling at the happy couple. “If anyone can handle twins, it'll be them,” he reassured her with confidence.

Elena watched as Gabe leaned over to press an affectionate kiss to Isabel's forehead, quietly whispering to her before they shared a teary smile, turning back to gaze at their newborns with looks of pure love and adoration.

“Yeah,” she agreed, leaning back into Mateo's arms with a teary smile of her own. “They're going to be just fine.”

[spillsecret]

The problem of "no one understands me".

Being a teenager in today's society is hard. The pressure surrounding the upcoming exams - from both parents and teachers - is stressful to mention the smallest amount. People near you modify - and not necessarily for the higher. Peer pressure gradually becomes a bigger deal. We are supposed to be young adults, yet get treated like children. I feel that some people have the mental age of a five year old, yet others act far older than their years. Society often labels us depending on what we wear or what be like. We have the pressure to look a certain way, and the expectation to dress like the people in magazine. Relationships come to the fore too. The joys of being a teenager - or so I'm told.

Exams. If you ask anyone in education right now what on their mind, the answer will be exams. With only a couple of months till they begin everything is starting to get slightly hectic. We're all panicking because we don't understand anything, and the occasional outburst from your teacher telling you that " you are going to fail if you don't buck up your ideas", isn't really that helpful to be honest. The new exams being made up on the spot, or so it feels, isn't exactly reassuring either. Over the past few years i have discovered that I'm someone who needs structure. I need a specific road that will lead me to the end goal, or a plan that has been meticulously planned. And with very few teachers giving me a straight answer when asked about the exams, you could say I'm starting to get a bit panicky. I also feel that some teacher forgot you do other subject *cough* maths *cough*. As important as that subject is, i do have other homework slightly more important than a page of a worksheet.

As you can probably tell i have some strong feelings about these changes, in addition to everything else that goes on inside my head. I'm not normally an emotional person, but this year i have discovered emotions I've never felt before. I discovered over the past couple of months that people around me are changing. Someone that used to be a very close friend is drifting from my group. It's been building up over the past few weeks and months, with the occasional snap at someone, or getting up and storming off. With eight girls in a group that tends to happen now and again. But now i feel that this happening too regularly and i don't like it. I spoke to my mum, as we are quite close and she told me to keep fighting for the friendship that we used to have. But, i don't actually think I want to fight for it anymore.

[nelior2187]

https://my.w.tt/9vsMQdSal5

[01] BB8 told me...

This is my fist Shipping Oneshot which I wrote and also the first one basing on a Song, which I found while looking a fan made video.

Song: I hate you, I love you - gnash

Words: (without Intro/outro) 5’563 words

★★★★★★★★★★★

Feeling used but I'm still missing you

And I can't see the end of this

Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips

Across the hangar, there he stands. Talking with some of the other pilots of the resistance. Again, I caught myself starring at him, while BB8 tries to remind me, that I forget to check the adjustments I just made. This was the third time today, I starred at my Crush and I hope nobody noticed. Yeah, he is just my crush. Some of my colleagues asked me if we were already dating, but no. We don’t. So many times, I tried to make out what he was thinking, if he liked me the way I like him of if he likes someone else. His face is a mystery for me and still, I want it in my hands, his lips on mine. A second time, BB8 gets me out of my thoughts with loud noises and reminds me, that it’s already time to eat lunch. „Thanks, Buddy! “, I muttered, shortly before leaving my work for the little break.

And now all this time is passing by

But I still can't seem to tell you why

It hurts me every time I see you

Realize how much I need you

I was on my way to the canteen, when I saw him again. His perfect face in the crowd. Even when I try to ignore him, I still see him through the people like a hunter its prey. Normally, I sit with my colleagues, but after the last battle, many of them are dead so the rest of us looks for new groups to join up with. I didn’t even have the chance to look somewhere for my pilots. Rey waves at me enthusiastic and smiling over both ears, next to her my love, Finn. My face went a little bit red as I walked by the other resistance fighters and sat down. My plan was to sit as far as I could get from my friends, to save them from my emotions, but Rey disagrees. She puts, using the force, my food right between her and Finn. I try to smile happy but somehow, I got sad. Sad that even this little gesture of friendship won’t fill the hole in me. The hole created by Finn being interested in other people, kissing them – yeah, he told us.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put

Nobody else above you

The first thing Rey did after I sat down, was hugging me shortly. After that she started talking about all the new jedi tricks she learned in the forests and how much fun she had with the adventures on her own. While Finn was interacting with her, I just sat there and ate slowly or better didn’t ate my food. It tasted awesome but somehow, I couldn’t enjoy it. Just a few minutes after I sat down, I wanted to bring my food in the trash. Rey’s mood went from happy and laughing to worried and sad. „Got a headache… “, was my answer before I left. I kind of regretted the harsh and annoyed voice I used for it, but there was no going back now. The pain, to be right next to him but can’t have him was too big. I thought about how to love someone else to get away from Finn, but there was, after many trying, no other man, who I could love more than my one and only.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

As I was about to go back to BB8, I remember that it was still lunch time and I didn’t even waste five minutes. I didn’t want to be surrounded by people right now, so I walked back to work. Like I thought, there was no one right now. Finally, I’m alone with my thoughts. I know about Finn and Rose and this morning Rose told me everything that happened. We accidentally met outside of the base and walked together through the forest, talking about updates and exchanged stories. When we came to the topic Finn, she told me that they had something and that she probably lost him to Rey. In my eyes it totally did fit. They hang out in all the free time we get and when Rey does train in the woods he stays mostly alone, except for BB8, who is visiting him sometimes. Now I don’t have any chance anymore. There is just the awesome and famous Rey, the Jedi, or me, a pilot. Who he did choose was clear already.

I miss you when I can't sleep

Or right after coffee

Or right when I can't eat

Nobody was in the hallways, fascinating. I got my bottle with some space soda and brought it back to the Hangar, where BB8 was already waiting for me I start my work with a fake smile and no enthusiasm, always having Finn on my mind and permanently making mistakes. After all the time which I have spent with the robot together, I think he knows what’s in my mind. The way he watches everything I do and always reminding me when I do something wrong, but not in an aggressive way, more like a calm buddy, who just wants to help a little bit. In the corner of my eye I see Finn and Rey walking across the hallway from the canteen into the other direction. I don’t want to know what they want to do now. I’m slightly getting more and more angry over me and my stupidity, that I want something from the Ex-Stormtrooper and especially over my way of acting. BB8 makes one of many sounds, which I understand as the questioning for a flight. „Awesome idea, buddy. Then let’s get you in there! “, I said and just a minute later we start the Xwing.

I miss you in my front seat

Still got sand in my sweaters

From nights we don't remember

The seat behind me was empty. The sad truth behind me and the high forest in front of me. I don’t even notice that my speed was too fast for save flying over the station, I just keep flying circles over the heads of the resistance. BB8 did not said anything after leaving the hangar and that’s good that way. I just want to calm down and to be in the air helped me always. I hear over the coms in the background that some of the pilots want to make a new route for the training, that some of the medics need more equipment and that the new General was doing something new but didn’t got what. I don’t care about that all right now because when someone wants something from me, they had to wait for me. Out of nothing a Voice cuts through all of the talking like a live though warm butter. Finn, he asked about someone, who he is missing. I ignore it, even with the hope that he meant me and cared about me, but I was not missing, so the person wasn’t me. I laughed about my own stupidity, that he would do that for me in this situation.

Do you miss me like I miss you?

Messed around and got attached to you

Friends can break your heart too

And I'm always tired but never of you

In my head flying the daydreams. What if Finn never met Rey? What if he didn’t kissed Rose? What if we were better friends? Are we even friends anymore? I don’t even know who my friends are next to BB8 and my Xwing. I never got close to the surviving pilots of the resistance. I had with some of them One night stands but the ones I was together with are already killed by the first order. The rest of them are not my close friends. We work together and help each other, but I’ve never gotten more out of that, than just friendship. I spend so much time with just being with Finn somewhere, that I forgot to resist him. I never had the feeling that it was too much what I did. That i would just run after him and I would still do it all day, just to become his number one and not just someone. We were all the time together and it was the best time of my live until somehow something happened, and we broke apart. I got sad, broken by my crush.

If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit

I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit

I type a text but then I 'never mind' that shit

I got these feelings but you never mind that shit

Hours went by and I was patrolling over the whole continent, trying to help the other pilots with finding a training route though as many different grounds as possible. I already found one, but I want to be sure to have a good one. BB8 already reminded me that I should have said something to the base, and that they will worry about me if I stay to long away, but I responded with „it’s no war anymore. “And „What should happen out here. “. After another hour my Xwing showed me with a lot of noises, that I needed to refill the tank, or we would crash. Too bad that I was right now over the sea and outside of the map, so I don’t know where the next ground is or if I can get back to the base in time. I decided to fly back, hoping to reach the ground before I fall from the sky, but I see that I wouldn’t make it. So, my last option is to call for help. I activate the microphone on my helmet and wait a few seconds. The voices are panicking in my headset and screaming something about someone who is gone missing, again. I say with a breaking but loud voice into the microphone: „Here Dameron, I need a Patrolling team over here. Now! “and turned both off.

Oh oh, keep it on the low

You're still in love with me but your friends don't know

If you wanted me you would just say so

And if I were you, I would never let me go

I saw the other Xwings after a half hour flying over the ocean without any land in sight of land. I already did write a goodbye message for Finn on my data pad, if I wouldn’t survive that stupid idea. The others get fast closer and I ask over com: „I’m extremely low on fuel and I have information for the Resistance on board. “. They accepted this lie without asking back, I am surprised. It took just a few minutes and the other Xwing pilots pumped some of their fuel in my tank while flying. That was something we teach each other all the time, so we had no problem. But after they helped me, they didn’t go back to the base the report, they stayed with me and escorted me back to the station. Somehow it felt like a convoy for transporting a criminal. I didn’t feel good, being all the time watched by all the other pilots of the resistance. Probably they think a lot of bad things about me after their best pilot just begged for help. An easy prey for the mean ones.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to, but I can't put

Nobody else above you

Under us is this big blue ocean, turning to green and black. The sun from the backside and the shadow of the Xwings in front of me on the water. In the knowing, that the other pilots don’t want to talk to me right now, I did turn the commlink of and opened the channel to my robot. “Do you got the Information’s I talked about for the ground around here?”- “Beeb”- “Okay, that’s good, did you notice anything special? Like a Cave high enough or a good place in the woods for another base?”- “Beeb”- “And you got the routes for the training group?”- “Beeb”- “That’s awesome, at least something I can show up when I come back home. You good back there?”- “Beeb”- “Then is everything good. Talk to you later, buddy.”, I turn the communicator of and just look over the Ocean. This much water… I would have never made it alive back home. I would have dropped into the water before I even see land in front of me. Now I’m kind of happy to call the patrolling group. Our Area isn’t that small, and they still needed over a half hour to get to me.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

At the horizon I could nearly see sand and the begin of a forest. Finally, Land in sight. I think about what will happen back at the base when I come home with a convoy. Some could think that I wanted to desert, flee from the base because of murder or worse. I actually don’t really care what the people in the resistance think about me, they are not allowed to attack or kill me when I didn’t do anything. I don’t want to think about it, but my thoughts go straight back to Finn and Rey. Are they together or not? Do they care? Am I still a friend to them, or just a member of the resistance? Just a Pilot who is replaceable? I have enough of those thoughts, so I decide to join the group chatting over commlink and headset. They just talked about a newbie who made a lot of mistakes and lead to a lot of funny stories. They were mostly hilarious, so I laughed for myself, enjoying the voices in my Headset and the relaxing feeling resulting. It all went back to stress when we got in our Area.

I don't mean no harm

I just miss you on my arm

Wedding bells were just alarms

Caution tape around my heart

Back at the resistance base BB8 took over the control and landed the ship safely, because I was too tired and exhausted to do anything. I mutter: „Thanks, Bud. “to the bot, before I leave the Xwing and the Hanger. Many people look over at me, but I ignore them skillfully. It’s already dark outside and I am tired, what made the ignoring easier. I walk past the other members and into my room, where I just fall in the bed without even changing or doing something. I met Finn somewhere in the hallway but ignored him and Rey with a sunken head, hanging shoulders and a slow walk. But right now, I couldn’t care for anyone. My brain is burning from all the love I feel and the rejection I always get back. I don’t want to hurt my friends, but they are better without me right now. They should have their fun and I won’t disturb them. 

You ever wonder what we could have been?

You said you wouldn’t, and you did

Lie to me, lie with me, get your fix

Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all mixed

The next morning, I wake up in the full fly outfit laying on top of my bed and with a big headache. My eyes filled with old tears and swollen from the night. „Fuck" I hate it when I look like that, because everyone is asking me why my eyes look like shit. I have luck that I wasn’t too late for Breakfast. I laid my data pad on my bed and left the room in a hurry. I tried to avoid people on my way into the canteen, but I never had such thing as luck. I ran in Finn and Rey, which were discussing loudly, which made my headache even worse. I got grumpier than I wanted to be seen. Both get silent as I walk past them in direction of the cafeteria. Rey tried to follow me and said things like: „Where were you? What took you so long? Is something wrong? Talk to me! “I just turn around and say a single: „No! “, before I walked away from the worried faces of Finn and Rey. I just can’t talk to them right now. I’m too weak for that.

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing

Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance

„Here.“, I put carefully the new data pad BB8 stole for me on the table and open the files for the new training tracks and for the many places where different buildings could be placed, so that the whole planet would be colonized by the resistance and their families. The Impression was high in my counterpart’s eyes. „Where did you get that from? That’s all big help for our plans. You’ve done a lot for us. Tell me, how did you get them? “- „I was just flying around. BB8 did scan all the things because I was too busy. “, I could stop me from talking about Finn. The pilots on my table start to grin and another resistance fighter appears at our table. He asked me, like he would know what his friends were thinking: „And, how is your best buddy? Who was it, Finn? “- „Why don’t you ask him? “Confusion is written on his face: „I thought you were close, and I got something for him from the general. He just said that it’s for your best friend. “- „Okay I'll bring it for you. Something else I can do for you? “- „No, that’s all. See you around. “He puts a data pad like a secret message on the table and walks casually of. 

When love and trust are gone

I guess this is moving on

Everyone I do right does me wrong

So, every lonely night, I sing this song

I say goodbye to the two pilots with waving at them and leave the cafeteria after I threw my trash away. My first checkpoint is the place where I saw Finn and Rey the last time, but they were not there anymore. So, I had the choice to decide between going back to the cafeteria and hoping they’d be there or looking for Finn in his room. I decide for the second option after hearing the bell, which calls us to work in the morning. I know exactly how I can find Finns place because I’ve been there many times and I was never brave enough to knock or ask if I could come in. I dream often how much it would smell like Finn in there. And now I have a good Reason to be close to him again. A lot of Adrenaline pumps through my veins the more the closer I get to his room. What would he say? Would he let me in? Am I still friend enough to be allowed there? Is Rey with him? I hope not.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to, but I can't put

Nobody else above you

His Door is an inch open and Finn himself is nowhere to be found so I sneak in his room and put the data pad right next to the commlink on his Table. Would I haven’t turned around I would never have seen the two pads laying on his bed. One of them showed a map of the base which I found out when I lifted it. His and my rooms were circled, and a line connected them. The other pad was mine. And my pad was showing the goodbye message I wrote on the flight yesterday. Now, when I read it again it sounds a lot sadder, than it should have, and I was just talking about my death and not how much I loved him. That way it would be probably better. Maybe did BB8 told him that something was of, but I hope he didn’t. No one else knew about this. Still, my biggest mistake was leaving it in my room. I got scared what Finn or Rey will do, when they think of me now. I need to leave, now. 

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

I leave the room in high speed and about to get into the Hangar, but some pilots and fighters stood in front of the doorway and ran in my direction, after they saw me. My brain was blank, and I wanted just to get out of the base. Only a: “Fuck” left my Mouth. Outside of the Base were two old speeders and some scrap. Nothing usable for me right now so I ran into the forest. I had still my full pilot costume on, what I noticed in surprise. Even without being notified through commlink, BB8 still know that I need him right now and the ship landed a few hundred yards from my position. What I didn’t know was that Rey was already waiting for me, following the Xwing out of the Hangar. I heard her Voice screaming “Stop!” I turned and tripped over something. I stand up and run the path deeper in the forest before I got sawn by someone. It’s sunrise by now. Exhausted I arrive on a ledge where forest and cliff meet and where I get a perfect view over the base.

All alone I watch you watch her

Like she's the only girl you've ever seen

You don't care you never did

You don't give a damn about me

In the middle of the little stone circle is a fireplace. I remember showing this place to Finn once. Back then when we were friends and I could hide my feelings. Captured in old memories I stare into the distant. I let the time pass by and stand up after one and a half hour to get back to the base, hoping that I won’t be treated as a bad guy or worse but what should happen to me. I’m just a pilot who was just in a bad place. I can’t lose anything at all because I have nothing. Finn has Rey and the resistant has each other. I am alone. Except of course for BB8 but this robot is much liked by everyone. My decision stands. I go back and don’t run anymore. It is weird for me, that I first run and then go back without even having done nothing wrong. I grin because of my stupidity and my failure to interact with others like a normal Human being.

Yeah all alone I watch you watch her

She's the only thing you've ever seen

How is it you never notice

That you are slowly killing me

I hear steps behind me, the direction where I came. I turn around, my Blaster ready to fire ant already aiming. I would have expected everyone else, even Rose, coming though the bushes but it was Rey. The one and only for Finn, so I put the blaster away, before I could hurt her, or Finn would try to kill me and that were not my intensions. She put her lightsaber away and stepped a little away from the gab in the bushes. Her follows the one and only Person I did not want to be here right now: Finn. I was to perplex that I couldn’t move a muscle while Finn runs over to me and nearly nocks me down with his hug. A magical Moment for me. All my emotions flow out of me which I held successfully back for so long. First it was just a Tear but shortly after that I hugged Finn back like I would never let him go and started to cry. Because of what? I don’t know. I just want all the pain to go away.

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to but I can't put

Nobody else above you

It took me longer than I expected to calm down. I didn’t want to let Finn go, just a familiar Voice behind him and Rey made me look up. It was just the one Pilot from today on the breakfast table who gave me the data pad. I nod in his direction and he replies through waving shortly. Rey’s face is filled with a friendly and happy smile same as Finn’s face. My colleague is the first to turn around and says over his commlink to his people to stop the search. They had what they wanted. I still blame myself for running away and being so childish. My eyes slowly go down and I look at my feet because my ashamed being so that I don’t have to look at the others faces. Well, no. Finn, who still stands next to me lifts my head with his hand and turns my Face around to him. In the corner of my eyes I see Rey leaving the ledge. Finn slaps my face ‘gently’ to get my attention back. Pretty close for me, not more than two inches between us. He captures my eyes with his and says with a calm but strong voice: “We talk about all that when were back at the base. You owe me a explanation. And don’t even thinking about running away again.” 

I hate you; I love you

I hate that I want you

You want her, you need her

And I'll never be her

A troop of ten people, all fully armed, escort me back to the base and through the hallways, my hands in cuffs. Now I really felt like a murderer or an information dealer. Not trusting eyes, confused and scared ones starring at me while we walk through the commando central. Finn, who didn’t leave my side, surprisingly, puts the stolen data pad with all my information’s on one of the commando desks. He took me by my arm and pushed me forward until we reached the general. I don’t listen at all what they were saying, still deep inside my thoughts what now could happen and what the hug meant for Finn. Maybe he sees me now with different eyes. The reaction when he saw me confuses me. I was all the time mad and unfair to him and he hugs me like he missed me. Finn pushes me to the side, out of the convoy and into a small floor. I don’t even try to ask what happened or how he could get me free. The silence between us walks with us through the corridors and after a long time of walking, Finn pushes me though a door in a part of the station, where I never went.

“Is it true, what you wrote down on your data pad…”, his voice breaking and tears coming through. He does not even looks me in the eyes, so much pain is it causing, to think about it.

“Would it change anything?” His face turned from a little bit worried to a lot worried.

“Of course it would! We would loose the best pilot of the resistance and… and … I could loose you!” I can’t really believe what he’s saying. No best pilot flies without checking if there is enough fuel especially without a mission. And why would he care?

“I’m not the best, I was never. There are way better people out there, which you can care about.”, my voice just a shadow of itself and my head hanging, looking away from Finn’s pain filled eyes. I just can’t see him that broken. Why is he not staying with Rey and lives happily?

“I don’t need to care about the others when I already have you!” Finn getting even more angry, “Do you even know what you mean to us? To me and Rey? To the whole resistance? You saved more lives that I could count and you still think that you’re not great? How?!”

“Because I don’t get what I want, doesn’t matter how much I bleed for it..”, I talked faster than I could think, but I notice that I got myself into talking what I miss in this moment.

“What, what do you want so much that you would die for it?! Tell me!”, Finn nearly screams at me in confusion and desperate. I would scream back at his face, telling him how much I love him and how much I miss being just with him on missions, in total trust for each other.

“I can’t…”, now my voice is gone.

“Why? I was asking your friends and colleagues what could be going wrong right now and nobody could tell me what was you on with you. I called Rey back here just for you, but even she couldn’t figure out why you were so cold and distant. I thought you were good with the people around you. I thought you had ‘fun’ with them. I thought you would be now truly happy after you took other for the night in your room. I just wanted you to be fine, but you aren’t. Why you didn’t told me is not on me to decide, but I would have helped you. Even Rose didn’t know what was going on with you after I asked her to talk to you. After Rey told me what you’ve written down, I couldn’t believe it. Please, tell me why you’ve been avoiding us? Why? Please, it hurts, buddy…”, his monologue ender in begging. I would do everything now for him but… he wasn’t going to do anything with Rey. She just helped. He just tried to figure me out. With the help of all the friends he has known. Did the pilot, who gave me the pad, also just helped Finn? Probably yes. He was looking at me like he wanted to read something out of my mind. He didn’t let me fly after he read the message, I wrote. I feel now kind of worse than before.

“I’m good.”, I lift my head, looking him straight into his eyes, seizures him disbelieve.

“Don’t lie to me Poe, I know that face good enough.”. He comes closer, to close, whispering now: “What are you hiding from me?”

I don’t even let him think about what he just said. I response in a harsh way: “A big and very complicated Secret.” I open the door and stepped into the hallway, before he even realizes what I just said. What I didn’t quite planned were the possibility for people who were on Finns side. In front of me stand the three of the pilots I ate with this morning and behind me Rey and Rose. There is no running without a fight. Before I did choose which group I want to fight to get the hell out of here, did Finn grab my arm. I had no choice but staying with him so I went back in this dark room. This time Finn does not look just a little bit worried, his face shows anger and frustration but also worries and fears.

“Please buddy!” Now his voice sounds really heartbreaking.

“I can’t tell you. You probably won’t even accept my actions after I told you what’s really about. It stays a secret, even if it does kill me slowly, I won’t say it.”, I try my best to push him out of my comfort zone before my R-rated Ideas come back but he just gets closer. In the next few seconds I forget everything I planned to do. Still with the cuffs on my hands. I slowly get closer looking from his eyes to his lips and back and biting my lip in a gentle way. All my instincts are taking over. Before I could stop myself, Finn already did put his lips on mine. My reflex in this situation, which I’ve always have dreamed of, is kissing back, shy and insecure. A mixture of adrenaline and oxytocin runs through my veins and I put my hands to Finn’s face before he takes a step back, to watch me.

“Was it that what you wanted?”, his voice got dry and darker but that just made it more sexy. I could just grin in this situation. It takes a few seconds for my brain to form the next sentence: “Are we still ‘buddy’s’?” Now is Finn’s reaction just a small giggling.

“If you want to, but we could be way more.” I just can’t believe what’s happening in here. My crushes fist kisses me and second wants more from me. Am I already dead and in heaven?! I just have one final question for the Ex-Stormtrooper: “How did you knew?”- “BB8 told me..."

★★★★★★★★★★★

Please, write all your ideas how I could get better in the comments

Thanks for all the people who support me in what I do^^

And yeah, it took long. Just about one full day