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neonlight2 · 2 years ago

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Trouble | austinbutler!elvis x reader

Warning: mature language/ mentions of misogyny because it’s the 40’s and men can be pigs/ mentions of racism/ homophobic comments

A/n: I know it sounds super irritating, but I swear the main character pops off. This is also my first time writing on tumblr. So please be kind. I’m thinking about writing more parts connected to this storyline so if you do like this… don’t worry there will be more. (Also if enough people see this and care enough to, I absolutely love requests so go ahead.) part 2

Summary: Elvis is so tired. Everyone is at his throat. The politicians want to lock him up, the Colonel has him performing in tail coats, and he can never seem to make his momma happy. He needs an escape, an he knows just the place: Club handy. Luckily for him, his good friend BB King knows just the person he should talk too. Loved, hated, and everything in between.

She was it.

Elvis couldn’t take it anymore. No matter how hard he tried— no matter how hard he worked— it was never enough to please everyone. The Colonel wanted him to be the perfect ‘all American boy’. One that did what he was told without care and idolized the government like the Bible. Someone that thought it was queer to put gel in your hair and too girly to put makeup on your face. Not to mention he had to stop dancing— feeling the music he sang. How was he supposed to carry on when this was going against everything he believes?

Oh and don’t forget his poor momma. God she tore his heart to shreds drinking so much, and her yapping about his performance with the literal hound dog made his ears ache— and not in the way he loved. He had already felt bad as it was, even with his daddy trying to console him by saying ‘the bit with the dog was good, funny’; as if that would make him feel better. It only made his humiliation fester more. He had to get out and fast. Just for a while. Just for a little.

So he rushed out to his car, taking off without care for what his rowdy cousins had to say as they chased after him. He ignored the shouting voices as he drove off, opting to shun them out by blaring the radio. However, that blasted thing seemed to hate him too. Driving passed adoring fans, trying to skid through without running one over, Elvis almost broke the damn thing by pressing it so many times. Channel after channel he was met with himself.

“You ain’t nothing but a—,”

“Hound dog-,”

“Cryin’ all the-,”

“Cryin’ all-,”

“The singer Cherry’s outlandish behavior makes the public—,”

“Cryin’—,”

Until finally Elvis was given peace; club handy’s station tuned in like a miracle sent from god. He knew where he would go now. ‘BB would know what do’ he thought. Little did he know that there was someone else that knew exactly what he was going through.

BB had noticed him the minute he drove up in his pretty ‘little’ Cadillac. If that’s not what had attracted his eyes to the only white boy walking down Beatle Street, it would have probably been the huge crowd forming around him. Mounds of people, men and women all alike, they all wanted to be close to him; to be acknowledged in some way. A simple head nod would do, a hand shake appreciated, and an autograph celebrated. The sight was almost comical to the older musician, but he had the mercy that most didn’t.

“Elvis!” BB yelled, gesturing for the distressed looking boy to come over to the overzealous club.

This put Elvis more at ease in an instant. Waving back at his dear friend, adrenaline pumped through his whole body as he tried his best to weave through the large crowd, which grew by the second. Elvis tried his best to greet anyone he possible could as he perused the entrance of finely lit club. But in all honesty, he only had one thing on his mind— and his mission was to get rid of it.

When he had finally made his way to the barricaded door, BB practically yanked him in whilst shooing the mounds of people snatching at Elvis’ clothes. Security shut the door in a hurry, not a care for those whose fingers could get caught. Such a horrific sight was a rarity; this is why most artists prefer to use the back entrance with the rest of the staff. Sadly, that hadn’t crossed Elvis’ mind. It was already too clouded to see a damned thing clearly.

As they walked through the hallway leading to blaring music, BB guiding Elvis by the arm like one would a child, while he ranted and raved over his troubled mind and aching heart. His eyes crinkling in in agony and voice cracking in desperation. BB pitied the boy’s despair and pulled him aside before opening the buzzing door.

“Look man, you’re feeling down, you’ve come to the right place. You wanna feel up? You’ve come to the right place. So just enjoy yourself and forget your worries.” BB said, nudging the door open to reveal what Elvis thought to be magnificent.

People dancing, blues and jazz blasting, and everyone smiling. There was no displeasure to be found within these walls. Laughter echoed off the walls from people sitting together in larger groups. Booths and bars overflowing with howling conversation. All while the open floor was left to shaking legs and quick hands. Bodies on top of bodies, sweat beading at their foreheads from the vigorous movements. Thriving with the energetic song booming from the stage. A tall, black man stood loosely with lined eyes and suit. His voice was almost as shell shocking as his performance. The way he oozed charisma was beguiling; a proper showman he was. Elvis felt chills run up his spine and a smile open his mouth wide.

Whistling in admiration, Elvis follows BB as they make their way to their own booth. “He sings the hell out of that song!”

BB smiles at the boy’s enthusiasm, nodding in complete agreement. “A friend of mine introduced him to Sister Rosette a little bit ago. Brought him from the backwaters of Georgia, and she’s been helping him out ever since. Names little Richie.”

Elvis shakes his head enthusiastically as he watches little Richie buckle his knees and twist his heels. His gaze only moving back to his friend after hearing a tap on the table.

“That’s who you should talk to.” BB states with a small smile rising from the idea as he takes a sip of his drink.

Scrunching his brows Elvis asks, “Sister Rosetta?”

Almost choking on the burning liquid running down his throat, BB shakes his head vigorously before laughing audibly. “As much as I’m sure she wouldn’t mind it, no. I meant my friend. Been in the game for a while, gone through what you have, and honestly just the best advice giver there is. You two have a lot in common actually.” He says, watching Elvis’ more intently now as he takes in the similarities.

Elvis nods with a puckered lower lip; nothing to lose really, he thought. “Where could I meet him?”

Another snicker involuntarily leaves BB lips, truly amused by the boy’s assumption. “Her name is Cherry, and she comes around every now and then. Says she likes to keep us on our toes.”

Taken back slightly, Elvis quirks his head momentarily. Why did that name sound so familiar?

“You’ve probably heard of her.” King remarks, playing with the rim of his cup. He had dipped his head back slightly closing his eyes not to soon after; he was imagining her to perfection. “She’s on the news quite a bit, a scandal that woman is, but because of all this ruckus you’ve caused some of the heat has been off her back. Hell, the only time I’ve been in the line of sight for any politician to acknowledge me was because of her.”

Eyebrows still scrunched Elvis asks, “ ‘ell what would they have a problem with her for?”

Sighing deeply through his nose, BB smile grows enough to display his luminous teeth. “They think she’s trouble. Just like anything else that they don’t like.” Tutting under his breath he shakes his head at the thought. “You’d love her man. Her sound, her moves— if you like what little Richie can do— ha she’d knock your socks off!”

A warm chuckle leaves Elvis at his usually mellowed friends enthusiasm. “Better than me?”

King slaps a hand onto his shoulder, rocking him back and forth with a proud laugh. “Oh she’d give your little hip wiggle a run for its money alright. Man, I wish she was here, this would have been—,”

Cut off with a dozens of screams, both BB and Elvis look over at the building commotion. Their eyes almost popping out of their skulls the moment they see what’s got the crowd so riled up.

It hadn’t been enough for Little Richie to be up there alone, making the crowd go wild with his fluid moves and eccentric voice. No, a great surprise had sent everyone into a frenzy, even the man who had been sporadically wiggling on the stage not two second before.

A woman with a messy bob and an effervescent wardrobe steps on stage; confidence oozing from her like fine honey dripping off the comb. Her olive skin looked gilded in this light, contrasting beautifully with the sheer, corset-like bodice she wore. Fitted tightly to her figure to make her waist indescribable, while holding cup fulls of her breasts as she shimmied and swayed along to the music. Toward the bottom it fanned out into a flowey silk skirt— or rather loose fit pants.

Her red and green painted nails shined vibrantly as she reached out for Little Richies suit tie, reeling him in close to her. Their bodies entangled together, fully letting the music rush through them. A cheeky grin stretched across her red lined lips as she dipped into the boys neck— practically sending the audience into a cardiac arrest as their hearts leaped in their chests. Such excitement, such chaos; all of it made by a simple lipstick mark on the collar of a shirt. And the show didn’t stop there.

No, both laughed joyously at the excitement they had received. Hungry for more, Little Richie rips his tie off and tosses it to the side before taking hold of the woman’s wrists. Spinning her around to face the audience, he dips her to the side. As they both lean closer to the floor, more and more hollers follow after. People start dancing with more energy than before. Twisting, shaking, gyrating, you name it.

The performance only escalated with time. Little Richie’s jacket was shed, flying into the air without care, and not too long his shirt followed. A show like this would give the people Elvis worked with a heart attack. Both little Richie and the woman would have been locked up quicker than a robber caught red handed for their ‘provocative’ display. Shamed for the way her hands trailed down the man’s chiseled torso, she would have been called indecent, among many other things.

But Elvis found it absolutely invigorating. The only time he felt any discomfort at all was when the instruments had stopped, and the two performers movements halted.

Though he found solace in the open laughs they shared. It had seemed that Little Richies stage charisma melted in front of the woman, now instead of heated passion his face expressed deep warmth. Pulling her into a rocking hug, the woman smiles at the display of affection. Her eyes wonder every now and then as she whispers something into his ear, until they finally stop at Elvis’ table. Making him hold his breath for the short duration their gazes connected. BB on the other hand waved at her without hesitation.

“I told you, you’d love her.” He whispered smugly, amused by the dumbfounded expression on Elvis’ face.

“I’ve never seen anything like that.” Elvis mutters, still in complete awe.

Patting him on the shoulder again, BB gives a teasing smile. “We’ll pick your jaw off the floor cause she’s coming over here, and she will pick at you for it.”

And he was right.

There she was, sauntering over while kissing any voluntary person’s cheek she passed that applauded her performance. As she got closer Elvis noticed that she was a bit shorter than he imagined. From the stage she looked like a giant, but now, as she grew near, it was as if she had shrunk a whole foot. Not that it mattered, she was just as incredible. Maybe even more so.

When she had made it to their table, BB got up from his seat quickly. Her arms had stretched out high, and she yelled out a playful greeting.

“BB! It’s good to be in the presence of royalty again!”

BB dips slightly to accommodate her height, enveloping her waists with his bigger arms. The color palette of their clothes clashing eloquently. After a few seconds pass, their hold on each other loosens and her arm falls to the man’s lower back. She leans against his taller frame once parted and shifts her intense gaze to Elvis. A spark of intrigue lighting up her chocolate eyes, which happened to be lined in black just like his.

“Elvis this is a good friend of mine—,”

The woman gasps dramatically, mouth agape and brows playful. “Friends? I see how it is. I leave for a few weeks and you go on and move on to the next girl.” She shakes her head with fake disappointment and steps towards the table, a hand held out for Elvis to take.

“Well I sure hope you’re more of a gentleman than he is Mr.Presley.” She says, with a sly grin.

Elvis couldn’t help but smile too; her smile was infectious. Taking her hand in his, he kisses her knuckles lightly. “Nothing but.”

She hums melodically at his answer before poking his nose with her red finger nail. “Yeah he’s nothing but trouble alright.”

“You’re one to talk Cherry.” BB remarks, while pulling out a chair for her.

“I never said there was anything wrong with it.” Cherry retorts back in an innocent tone as she sat. “Besides it’s not like I actually go looking for trouble.”

The claim made BB’s eyebrow arch with suspicion. A look of disbelief crossing over his face. “Sure.”

Scrunching her nose, Cherry glances over at Elvis and stops her hand from flying up to give her friend the bird. Opting it better to stick out her tongue like a child, Cherry huffs through a pout. “It’s not my fault our government is filled with a bunch of prudes.”

The statement made Elvis shift in his seat, sitting a little taller with peaked interest. “Yeah, I’ve heard they’ve been giving you a little bit of trouble to. What have they been saying about you?”

“As much as they say about you I’m guessin’.” She answered, chewing on what Elvis thought to be gum. “And I gotta say, I never thought I’d be outshined in scandal by a famous white boy.”

There was a fresh sliver of silence after her remark; the gaze between the two new acquaintances not helping its intensity.

Coughing to hide a laugh, BB slowly starts to walk backwards away from the table. “I’m going to go see Sister Rosetta for a sec, interrogate her over why she didn’t tell me you were coming and what not. Give you two a chance to… talk.”

That man had never moved faster in his life.

“At least being me back a cherry cocktail!” She screamed back, rolling her eyes after seeing him throw a thumbs up as a response.

“Is that where the nickname comes from?” Elvis asks curiously, totally enraptured by her presence. The way she sat: leaned back with her legs widespread and her hands gliding down the smooth fabric. It was all so enticing to him. He’s never seen a woman act the way she did.

“What nickname?” Cherry asks with a deadpanned expression, snapping him out of the daze he’d been in. Sudden embarrassment flooded the boys body, face heating up and ears going bright red. The sight made Cherry hysterical, and an infinite amount of apologies fly from her mouth. “I’m just messing with you Elvis.”

God his name sounded so nice when she said it. There was something different in her voice that he couldn’t really place, but dear god was it gorgeous.

“Yes, it is. BB started calling me that when he bought a barrel of them, and I ate almost every single one.” She chuckles at the memory. “And I liked the way it sounded, though it was ‘stage worthy’— but I’ll say, the press’s theories are much more entertaining.”

“Mm?” Elvis hums, bringing his own drink to his prodded lips.

Grinning mischievously, she watches him with amusement. “My favorite has to be the one where I ‘popped my Cherry far into my youth’ and that’s how I got the nickname.”

An abrupt spur of coughs escape passed Elvis’ lips from shock. Quick to cover his mouth, as to not spray any of his drink onto her, Elvis’ tries to compose himself.

“I’m surprised you haven’t seen any of them.” Cherry says, bemused overall by his reaction. Almost everyone everywhere knew of her ‘scandalous’ behavior. It had been slapped on every newspaper and tv screen possible. She was supposed to be set as an example of what women weren’t supposed to be.

So how has this boy— this white boy, surrounded by the voices of the American politicians who despise her the most, able to escape from it all?

“But maybe that’s thanks to you.” She realizes, tilting her head to ogle the boy’s infamous figure. “‘Elvis the pelvis.’”

Wincing at the horrid nickname, Elvis shakes his head and hand. “Well I’m glad something good has come from that blasted name.”

Taking pity on the poor boy, Cherry sits up and rests her head on her hands, deciding not to prod further. Although, her closer proximity gave him chills.

He thought he had seen everything when she came up to the table— assumed that being that close was enough to take in all of her. Her beauty, her charisma, her attitude. He was wrong.

Elvis could swear on his grave that he could count every single, individual freckle lining across the woman’s nose and cheeks. Sometimes when she blinked her long eyelashes would even kiss the small dots, seemingly leaving behind a blush mark. Oh and her eyes, god he’d never seen any like hers. Rich and radiant with speckles of gold surrounding her blown out pupils. But what practically screamed for Elvis’ attention was the red staining her lips. At first, on stage, they had looked glossy and a deep scarlet. However, now they looked ravenous. Plump, raw, and wet. Actually, now that he got a closer look— it was as if she hadn’t been wearing any lipstick at all. And that’s when he noticed it.

The cherry seed resting between her teeth.

“Elvis?”

Blinking away the day dream fog beginning to cloud his eyes, Elvis looks back at the woman sheepishly.

“M’sorry, what’d you say?”

Laughing at his childlike gaze, intrigued slightly by the behavior, Cherry repeats herself. “I asked if it was true you and BB met buying suits. King always goes on about it, so I was wondering if the story I’ve heard over and over again is true.”

This made Elvis chuckle; the image of his friend talking continuously about him seeming hilarious. “Uh yeah, we uh met in Lansky’s shop.”

“Oh my god, is Bernie still running it?!” Cherry quickly asks, eyes widened in excitement.

Smiling profusely at her exuberance, Elvis nods. “Sure is.”

Absolutely elated at the news, Cherry bites her lower lips to lessen her smile; it was so wide it became painful. “God it’s been forever— I have to go by and see him later. But his whole inventory while I’m at it.”

Eyebrows raising and mouth agape, Elvis’ shoulders loosen. “And leave us with nothin’?! What are BB and I to do without his suits?”

“Seems like you’ll have to be put on a waiting list Mr. Presley, because if I’m the one offering Bernie never rejects.”

“Oh lord, what are you planning to do to poor Mr. Lansky?” BB asks, appearing out of nowhere with two drinks in hand. One in a half hourglass shape, holding a liquid red as the cherries dangling off its rim. While the other is filled halfway with brown liquid that only some have a taste for.

“Oh just that I might buy out his store again.” She says, patting BB’s arm after kissing her fingers as a thank you.

Scoffing BB says, “You’re menace to my wardrobe woman.”

“It’s not my fault I’m his favorite.” Cherry shrugs innocently, sipping on the fruity drink— earning a delighted hum from her shortly after.

Elvis couldn’t help but fawn over the sight, but soon regretted it after being caught. Cherry’s eyes had met his eyes almost instantly. Luckily, she was in a rather good mood, and simply grinned discreetly to herself instead of teasing his for it.

“Isn’t that what got you into the papers in the first place?” BB asks, scratching his eyebrows as if to rekindle his memory— indirectly grabbing Elvis’ attention.

Shaking her head vigorously, trying to swallow down the gulp she had just taken as quick as possible. “No, no, no.” She replies, waving her finger dramatically. “They first wrote about me coming to America from Europe. You know they always go straight to race and nationality! The ‘suit incident’,” she continues, using her fingers to accentuate the quotations of the so called paper, “was the second piece written about me. That is what sent me into the openly hated category.”

“Over a couple suits?” Elvis questioned, beguiled by the situation.

The rekindled duo stared at the shocked boy with knowing eyes.

“Well what do you expect EP?”

“I mean, have you ever seen a woman openly wearing a suit before? Let alone pants?”

The thought skyrocketed in Elvis’s mind, whirling around a hundred miles an hour. “Well I— no not really, but I just thought it’s c-c-cause they like dresses. I mean they look aw-awfully comfortable and pretty.” He sputters.

They had broke the poor boys mind.

#elvis movie #austin butler #austin!elvis x reader #feminist #bossgirl #elvis biopic #elvis imagine #x reader #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler!elvis #elvis fanfic

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lobster-sock · 3 years ago

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Fun Amphibia side character theory

Hi welcome to my TED Talk, I promise this theory has nothing to do with severing characters' arms. Without further ado, here are my reasons to believe that "One-Eyed" Wally Ribbiton is Ivy Sundew's father!

I first subscribed to this theory in March '21 & have since become its most fervent champion, plugging it wherever I could. And now with Amphibia S3B coming in less than a month, I'm finally deciding to make my case here on tumblr. Also the images are from my reddit post about this

So let's start off with how similar Wally & Ivy's respective Season 2 episodes are: "Swamp & Sensibility" & "Ivy on The Run". In both episodes, Ivy & Wally fight with their parents, who set different expectations on their children. When those expectations are shattered, the parents and children compete against each other. In the end, the children win & reconcile with their parents. Of course, there are a few embellishments to distinct the two episodes, but the plots to both are more or less the same!

In "Swamp", we find out Wally actually lives outside the valley as a very rich boy, & he only poses as a homeless vagrant to escape the stresses of rich boy life. In "Ivy", we find out Felicia, Ivy's mom, traveled outside the valley before Ivy was born. It's not implausible to assume that Felicia traveled to Wally's town of Ribbitvale while collecting her tea & china, where they met & hit it off. A lot off.

When Wally decided to leave Ribbitvale, why did he go for Wartwood? It's a relatively unassuming town, sure, but it's like he was going there for something or someone. Felicia, perhaps. But at this time, Felicia could've been pregnant with Ivy, & knowing Wally didn't want to take part in a family in fear of becoming like his father, Felicia didn't tell him he was the baby daddy and let him be a vagrant.

In "Ivy on The Run", about four minutes in we discover Wally is an expert fighter in Muay Thai, or whatever the Amphibia equivalent is. In the same episode, Ivy & Felicia's final battle is a 3-round Muay Thai battle, where it's revealed Felicia is also a very skilled fighter, having picked up the moves outside the valley. Having Wally & Felicia revealed to be adept fighters in the same episode does sound a little sus. Maybe they had the same teacher, or they taught each other. Honestly it's cute thinking about them teaching each other moves.

Wally & Ivy share similar characteristics. They're both wild childs compared to their pompous parents. And in "Anne of The Year", Ivy pulls down her hat so that only one of her eyes is shown. One Eyed Ivy, anyone? Okay. They also seem to be self-conscious about their hair. In "Wally & Anne", Wally's iconic hat blows away and he says, "My iconic hat!", revealing a luscious Beatle-esque hairdo. And he says it like he's ashamed of people seeing his hair, Wally baby don't be ashamed! Anyway, Ivy has a similar reaction when her hat falls off in "The Shut In", and she tells Sprig not to look at her, even though Sprig thinks she looks gr8. The hair keeps in "Ivy on The Run", so while most of the stuff in "Shut-In" might have been non-canon, Ivy's self-consciousness may just be canon.

Also this is probs reading too much into things, but both Ivy & Wally have purple mouths while Felicia has a bit of a turquoise mouth. And Wally's open eye is the same color as Ivy's skin. Yeah that's a stretch but it's not implausible.

Oh and I also wanna point out a scene in "Reunion" where one of the toads throws Wally to the floor, & Ivy's first reaction is to throw a plate at the toad. Even though Ivy probably doesn't know Wally is her father, it's a reaction like that that really shows Ivy has some sort of connection to Wally.

Onto what I think is the most damning piece of evidence. In "Ivy on The Run", Ivy says to Felicia that she still can't believe she was a world traveler. Keep in mind while Anne & Sprig are in the shot, the only people fully in frame are Ivy, Felicia & Wally. Wally's on the left side of the frame while the Sundews are in center. Anyway, Felicia replies "Oh honey, where do you think I met your father?" Instantly, the camera shifts left to have Wally in the center frame. Our attention has been brought to the mother & daughter to this side character. There is a sense of importance to this character now.

Trust me guys, I took many film classes, I know my film theory.

There's also a sting chord played after Felicia says that, which makes it a little "aha" moment for people who cared who Ivy's father is. I wasn't one of those people but I've been converted.

Also there was no reason at all for Wally to be in Ivy's episode. The only logical reason is that they're building up to something. I've clarified Wally & Ivy's episodes are the same conceptually, so having Wally in Ivy's episode is logical just to remind us of his episode. If Wally isn't revealed to be Ivy's father, then there was no reason to have him there at all.

Anyway yeah, that's my theory, thanks for looking at this & feel free to give your feedback even though none of this is up for debate. Special thanks to RedMetalSky on reddit for basically birthing this theory.

#amphibia #amphibia theory #amphibia wally #amphibia ivy #amphibia felicia #wally is ivys father #wallicia #one eyed wally #ivy sundew #wally and felicia made love #wally is god #amphibia season 3b #felicia sundew #wally ribbiton

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idontwanttospoiltheparty · 3 years ago

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when/how did you realize beatles music was amazing and something you couldn't live without?

I'm trying to not start off every answer with "OOF" but you people do keep sending me loaded questions lol. That's fine though, I enjoy it, keep it coming! My close attachment to the bug boys (both their music and them) is new. It more or less started at the beginnng of May of this year.

I've always known about them and known a good handful of songs. We sang Yellow Submarine and Hello Goodbye in school, I have memories of playing Beatles Rockband once at my cousin's house and also the Love album used to be relatively regular car music for my family. Also, I was in class with someone who was obsessed with their music and sometimes she'd be playing songs. My opinion on the music for most of my life has been kind of… middling. There were songs I really liked or loved (like Help! or Eleanor Rigby) songs I thought were fine but didn't take much note of (something like Being For The Benefit of Mr Kite) and ones I just really didn't get the hype for (A Hard Day's Night comes to mind [I love it now]). But I have a sort of kneejerk sceptic reaction to people hyping stuff up for no discernible reason sometimes, and so the more I'd hear older people with little knowledge of music theory and history call them the be-all end-all of music, the more I sort of developed a kind of aversion to them. I just hate being told to respect and/or like things without knowing why, y'know?

PSA to older Beatles fans: you will NOT convince younger people to listen to your music by telling them their music taste sucks actually.

On the other hand, I had also sort of gotten the idea I should maybe go through their entire discography and get behind the myth of it all. I sort of attempted this a few times over the years, like I started listening to Sgt. Pepper once and then for some reason had to stop halfway, and I listened to the This Is The Beatles playlist on spotify a few nights in a row in 2019 lol.

What actually made me commit to doing it was 1) I had seen a LOT of backlash against Taylor for breaking the Beatles' records for 3 number one albums within the least amount of time in the UK last April, and like the sheer stupidity of some of the arguments being made why "Actually She Didn't Break This Record" really set me off (for example talking about it being "more effort" to buy an album back in the day… But the Beatles weren't competing for number one against anyone who had it "easier" to sell their albums and Taylor wasn't competing against anyone who had it "harder" than her. Or talking about absolute pure sales numbers when that's not what going number one means?) and 2) in a Discord I was in, someone shared a link to an 8-Bit version of Sgt. Pepper at the beginning of May, which I decided to listen to cause it seemed like good study music and I rather enjoyed! I found it really let their talent for creating good melodies shine through.

WHY DO I KEEP COMPLETELY EXPOSING MYSELF IN MINIATURE ESSAYS WHEN ASKED STRAIGHTFORWARD QUESTIONS

Anyways, so all of that made me go okay! I'm gonna go through this motherfucking huge discography then I will know this music better than a LOT of the people who hype it up and then I will be able to be objective about all of this.

So I listened to Sgt. Pepper and Please Please Me and then the White Album. The first was enjoyable but I didn't really ~get the immense hype, Please Please Me bored me at first (I think their early style is something you kind of need to get into and need to hear a few times to fully appreciate. But also Love Me Do sucks and why a record label thought it would be a good debut single is absolutely BEYOND ME) and the last one REALLY caught me off guard. There was stuff in there I loved (Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da is actually possibly my very first favourite song that wasn't a kids' song. I used to have to go to these psychomotor education classes and that song played there often and I adored it. Also Piggies slaps, send tweet) but also like a lot of stuff I found pretty weird and off-putting. And I still haven't warmed up to Yer Blues and Why Don't We Do It In The Road. That album did, however, get me very interested in the band. I think the weirdness of the album really just invited me to look into their history. I wanted to understand why they had broken up. That sent me down the rabbithole of the India trip history and I just kept reading more and more wikipedia articles related to all of it.

It was around this point I sort of came to realize that I'd had a lot of wrong preconceived notions about them, especially John. I was never someone like roaming around twitter, yelling for him to be cancelled, but he had simply never seemed sympathetic to me. For instance, IDK if I misunderstood what someone told me or if that person had misunderstood, but the story of John learning chords with Paul left-handed to follow him better (and maybe also Stuart not letting Paul change around the strings on his bass) had somehow been morphed into John finding Paul's left-handed playing off-putting and forcing Paul to play right-handed?? And I was like "Wow, what an asshole!" Also all the 1970 narrative that the two didn't like each other, plus I projected boomers' and gen-xers' Beatle snobism onto them and just got the impression they were pretentious narcissists. (I mean they were kind of that, but not to the extent or in the same way I imagined)

So I think learning these things opened me up to them more. Like I realized Hey! They were my age! And then at some point I found out about the Christmas albums and thought that was so fascinating, that that existed, (a huge part of my initial interest was my fascination with the marketing around them, which is why I watched AHDN and Help! super early on) so I listened to those and was like "Fuck! These guys are endearing!" and then I remember lurking on bug-tumblr and seeing that "Well that was very observant of them, because we aren't American actually" quote and I wanted to find the video of it and ended up finding this legendary video. And starting to actually like these guys and realizing they took all of this ten times less seriously than their Boomer fans do made me more excited to keep listening to the discography and look up more of the stories behind the songs and just kind of… Come to understand them better. I also found that once I accepted that some Boomers are just gonna hype up their fave music too much I'd enjoy it more. Like I'd listen to I Want To Hold Your Hand and get a bit defensive like "why do you love this so much??? the lyrics are so dumb??" but when I just kind of accepted that fact I realized no! It's an amazingly structured bop, which yes, has weak lyrics but it's fine!!! It's the Call Me Maybe of its day and that's NOT a bad thing!!

And in the end they have an amazingly versatile catalogue that covers most things you might be in the mood for. It is kind of hard (for me) not to like it.

There are still sort of two bands in my head: the archetype, the myth, the pretentious group of people who hate each other that I just sort of instinctively want to dislike and the band who sang all those songs I had NO IDEA existed and came into my life without any baggage or expectations from my part. I've pretty much never listened to say Hey Jude in the past months, even though I don't find it bad the outro is too fucking long because it's kind of got too much of that baggage to me still.

This was SUCH a ramble but I hope this makes sense to people to some extent. Anyways I'm a new fan, drag me, but maybe drag me more for how much I seem to know after three months. Seriously, this is a curse.

#mine #ask #bugs #anon

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whenrockwasyoung19 · 4 years ago

Text

It’s Time to Talk about a Bespectacled Elephant in the Room

I’ve been in the Beatles fandom for 8 and a half years. I have had a Beatles blog for the entirety of those 8 and a half years, and I have watched as discourse about these four men evolve. The discourse inside and outside the fandom has become so toxic that I don’t think I can engage with it in the same way that I could before. Let me explain.

When I entered this fandom 8 and a half years ago, it was in 2012, quite an infamous year in tumblr history. That was the pique of “”cringey”” fandom culture. The Beatles fandom was as steeped in fandom culture as any other fandom. I know this because I was part of two of the top of fandoms at the time, Doctor Who and Sherlock. Believe me, I have seen cringe.

The fandom at the time was totally aware of the John, Paul, George, and Ringo’s flaws as individuals, but most fans tended to simply enjoy Beatles fandom as if it were the 60s. Some might call it ignorant bliss. If you asked me at the time, I’d have said it was self-aware ignorant bliss--if that even makes sense. At the time, there wasn’t a person with a Beatles icon who hadn’t heard the line “John Lennon beat his wife.” Everyone knew it, but everyone also knew the real story, and so everyone just made peace with it. As a result, people didn’t think about every bad thing the Beatles ever did on a daily basis. It was more like a once-a-month kind of thing. Otherwise, fandom discourse was quite fun and relaxed. There were no shipping wars, no one fought over who was the best Beatle, everyone gushed over the Beatles wives, and we all just had fun with fics and fan art.

Of course, in this period, people engaged in conversations about one bespectacled Beatles problematic behavior. These conversations usually came from outside of the fandom. It was usually randos coming into the tags or into someone’s ask box and ranting about John Lennon’s violent behavior. Some of it came from within the fandom. Some people really didn’t like John and gave others shit if they listed John as their favorite Beatle. A lot of the discourse boiled down to: ‘hey, I see you like John Lennon. You should know that he beat his wife. And now that you know that, you should feel bad about ever liking him in the first place.’ And the response was often, ‘Actually, John Lennon didn’t beat his wife. They weren’t even married at the time. And also he didn’t beat her, he slapped her once in the face, and then never did it again.’ No one’s minds were changed. The fans had made their peace, and the antis came off as cynical and pretentious.

When Dashcon happened, and Tumblr took a hard look at its cringey fandom culture, the Beatles fandom evolved as well. The fandom became, frankly, less fun. It no longer felt like a group of people who found the Beatles decades after the 60s and were fangirling like it was 1965. There was still some of that left, but a lot of it kind of faded. So, most fandom interactions were reblogging pictures of the Beatles from the 60s and various interview clips and quotes. But the barrage of antis never really went away, and the response didn’t evolve.

Then, the advent of cancel culture came on. I always waited for the Beatles to get, like, officially canceled, but I also felt they were uncancel-able at the same time. Let me explain. I have been a Beatles fan primarily in an online space, rarely engaging with fans in real life. But I have met fans who are life-long Beatles fans, people who are a lot older than us and who’s fandom isn’t tied to the internet. They don’t give a shit about any of our discourse. They may or may not have heard it before, but they seem totally indifferent to all of it. I’m sure most of them have never heard ‘Mclennon’ before. These are the people that flock to see Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr in concert (and pay astronomical prices for it). These are the people who go to record shops and buy vinyl. These are the people I run into at flea markets who buy up all the Beatles merch before I can even arrive (true story). So, the Beatles will never be canceled because there will always be people who love the Beatles and don’t engage with online discourse. Rarely said, but thank god for Gen-X.

As cancel culture took over the internet, fandoms changed. It’s not as noticeable in fandoms without problematic favs. For instance, I’m also steeped in the Tom Holland fandom, and that boy is a little angel who has done no wrong. No one has discourse about the unproblematic boy who plays an equally unproblematic character. But in fandoms with ‘problematic favs’ the mood has shifted. I’m also in the Taron Egerton fandom. Taron Egerton, for those who only follow me for my Beatles stuff, is a genuinely sweet and kind person who has had zero scandals in his six year career. There were some rumblings when he was cast as Elton John, and some people took issue with the fact that he’s a straight man playing a gay man. This discourse seemed to die quickly as a whole lot of straight people played gay people in that same year (Olivia Coleman as queer Queen Anne, Emma Stone as her queer lover, Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury). Why jump on this boy who at the time was still technically on the rise. He’s not exactly the same target as someone like Scarlett Johansson who has her pick of roles. Taron doesn’t have quite that some power in Hollywood, and I think most people made peace with the fact that this was a big role for him, and it’s not really fair to take that away from him. So, all in all, the closest thing to a scandal was something that died pretty much on arrival.

That was until this summer when everything changed. When George Floyd was murdered, celebrities flocked to social media to mourn his loss. Taron’s social media account was silent. For weeks, Taron said nothing about Black Lives Matter or Floyd’s death. This caused outrage in the fandom. Many raced to defend him, starting a hashtage #IstandwithTaron. Others sought to tear him down and anyone who supported him. The kind of mania this one incident caused tore through an otherwise peaceful fandom. What I saw was two sides in a total panic. The antis were people who once had faith that Taron was a good person and were now questioning that. Andthe defenders were people who desperately wanted him to be a good person and were afraid that he wasn’t. In essence, both sides could feel Taron about to get canceled. The defenders wanted to stop it, the antis wanted to ride that wave.

What this long drawn out Taron example is meant to convey: is that cancel culture has put fandoms on edge. One’s fav has to be perfect, otherwise it can jeopardize the existence of the entire fandom. I’ll admit, I was afraid that I’d be some kind of pariah for standing by Taron through all of this. My actions were to basically reason with the antis but still defend Taron. I defend him mostly because I felt that his silence was the result of a needed social media absence and that trying to shame him back onto social media was an invasion of privacy. But I was genuinely afraid that he would get canceled, and the fun of the Taron fandom would be lost.

In the Beatles fandom, it often feels like the Beatles, mainly John, have already been canceled. I see this coming from two different sources: antis from outside of the fandom and antis within the fandom. The outside antis are just the same as the ones from 2012. These are people who like to drop in that John Lennon beat his wife, posting this in the tag (which violates an ancient tumblr real by the way--no hate in the tags).

The antis outside the fandom speak to a larger anti-John Lennon sentiment online. I see references to John Lennon ‘beating his wife’ on Tiktok and twitter. The tone of anti-John Lennon posts has shifted. Before, it felt like the antis were being smug but also argumentative. They wanted to have a conversation about this bit of info they read on Reddit with no context. Now, “John Lennon beating his wife” is practically a meme. It’s a running joke online that John Lennon was a wife beater. I can’t look on my instagram explore page because every so often a John Lennon beats his wife meme will pop up amongst the other, normal, memes.

This change in discourse suggests that the internet has just accepted this as fact now. I should note that back in 2012, it seemed as if few people knew this fact. The fandom knew it, and these random antis knew it, but few others did. Now, because of how common these memes are, it seems to be widespread knowledge.

Consequently, the Beatles fandom, who used to ward off attacks from antis, seems to have given in. I recently saw a post from a Beatles blog (had the URL and icon and everything) that confessed they felt guilty for listening to the Beatles, and I’ve seen similar sentiments expressed in the fandom. People tend to put disclaimers in posts about John or even all four that John is an ‘awful man.’ It seems like the self-aware ignorant bliss has completely gone away. Occasionally, I still see posts joyously talking about Mclennon or reblogs of old photos from the 60s. But the culture has shifted.

Online, it no longer feels comfortable to be a Beatles fan. It feels like you have to own up to 8 decades of mistakes by four men you’ve never met. And, I should note, this is kind of how it feels to be a fan of anything right now. Taron is not canceled today, but he could be tomorrow. It’s this pervasive feeling of guilt that the person you’re supporting may or definitely has or is doing something wrong.

I’ll admit this uncomfortable feeling has expanded into other parts of my fandom life. I listen to their music, and I feel elated--the way I always have. Then, I get these intrusive thoughts which sound like all the worst parts of Twitter combined. It wasn’t always like this. Back in 2012, when I knew almost nothing about them, I saw them as four young men who were full of happiness, love for another, and talent. Back then, listening to their music was exciting and joyous. Sometimes, I fear that I can never feel that way again. Next year, when I finally go to Liverpool, will I be filled with excitement or guilt?

I say all this for a few reasons. One, I love John Lennon. I appreciate all the good he did for the world not just as a musician and an artist but also his advocacy and charity work. I love him, and a part of me will always love him, but observing the change in discourse has enlightened me as a historian. Part of my job is to observe people’s legacies, and John’s is perhaps the most interesting legacy I’ve ever observed. When he died, he was hailed as a saint. But tall poppy syndrome set in, and the antis started. This culture grew and grew to the point where it seems to, at least among the younger generation, taken over the sainthood.

But as a historian and a fan, I have never seen the saint or the devil. I’ve only seen the man, the incredibly flawed man. The thing that these antis never understand is that John Lennon was painfully aware of his own flaws to the point where it made him all the more self-destructive. In essence, his past mistakes caused him to make additional mistakes. But John, aware of his own flaws, always tried to change and was often successful. I’ve talked about this before, but John demonstrated that he was capable of being a good person, like properly so, again and again. After he struck Cynthia, he never hit her again. His shortcomings as a father to Julian weren’t repeated with Sean. He worked on his drinking, his drug addiction, and his anger, trying to overcome those demons till the day he died. By all accounts, the John Lennon that died in 1980 is not the John Lennon who struck Cynthia Powell at school. That John Lennon was living a cleaner, healthier life. He was a better father to both his sons by that point, and was trying to repair his relationship with Julian. He was a good husband to Yoko and saw himself living a long and happy life.

John Lennon cannot and should not be boiled down to just his flaws. It’s one thing as a fan to acknowledge that John is a flawed human being (news flash: they all are), but he is also much bigger than that.

So once again, why am I writing this long, rambling post, once again talking about John Lennon’s virtues? Because if I can’t engage with healthy discourse about the Beatles and John Lennon, then I can’t engage with discourse on the topic at all. So, I probably will post less Beatles stuff because I find it hard to go through the tags or even my dash (well, I can’t really go through my dash anymore for other reasons I’m not going to get into right now). If any of my followers have noticed a lot of Taron posts lately, it’s not just because I love Taron, it’s because Taron’s tag is pretty much the only location on tumblr I feel 100% comfortable in. Any foray into John or the Beatles tags becomes uncomfortable and guilt-ridden quickly.

So, I probably will post less about the Beatles until I can find a blog or a tag that doesn’t give me bad vibes. My fandom will likely outgrow tumblr and the internet. I have a ton of Beatles books; maybe I’ll rely on those. I am doing official scholarly research on them now. Maybe that will be my outlet. I’m sorry if I post less about them now, but it’s really for my own well-being.

#John lennon #the beatles

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appelscruff · 4 years ago

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I was tagged by @lovely-menza to answer twenty questions :)) thank you friend! <3 let’s go

1. Why did you choose your url?

I had just learnt the word and thought it sounded funny. It’s George Harrison’s word to describe hardcore beatles fans outside the Apple studio <3 that me

2. Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I will not list all my silly sideblogs (tumblr’s shiny “create new blog” button + adhd = new sideblog every fortnight), but my main is @deadmensdynasty

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

ten slutty slutty years

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I put everything in my queue, so that would be nonsensical

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

@adammlligan forced me to, and then i found out there were lots of keith moon pictures on here! sold.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

It cracks me up. Jake Gyllenhaal ftw, he looks so happy

7. Why did you choose your header?

I think because it has books and plants and sunlight, which are all the good things in life.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

On this blog i receive about one note a week. On my main it’s the stupidest things I threw together in a second that got the most notes. the fuck is that about

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Omg i don’t even know. Tbh I don’t understand the deal around being mutual. I don’t want anyone to be forced to follow anyone out of some weird social obligation. This is a hellhole without rules, let me be.

10. How many followers do you have?

108, or 23 if you exclude the blocked bots. On my main I think almost all my followers are inactive. What good are 650 followers if none of them interact :(

11. How many people do you follow?

490 blogs, but again, I think a lot of them are inactive.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Never! Quality content only!

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

I don’t think this is something I should let the world know. But it got way more during lockdown and since my return from the hospital. I was/am so damn tired all the time i can’t do anything but just sit. Now it’s slightly less, but still... let’s just say: a lot.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I think I had one (1) discussion years and years ago about wearing bandshirts when you’re not a fan of the band. That’s the hill I want to die on.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Hate them with a passion. No one has authority over anyone. I don’t need to do anything, there’s always the sweet release of death to fall back on. Just live your life the way you want to and leave everyone else alone.

16. Do you like tag games?

17. Do you like ask games?

Definitely, although some I don’t know how to do because they involve super complex things like colouring in pictures.

idk what’s happened to me, i used to make gifsets.

heck yes, although some have been around for years and I get bored of them, and I always talk too much

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

get out of here!! we don’t care about that around these parts

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

There have been mutuals I crushed on (and with good reason i gotta add) but that’s all in the distant past.

20. Tags

I don’t know if anyone actually wants to do this, but to be polite I am tagging you anyway:

@adammlligan @literarydoodlekid @biginnyweasley @overwrought-ideas @king-drarry-perfection @be-a-ghost @melody-the-village-idiot @allthingsmustgeorge @bakuraisabitch

#tag game

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monkberries · 4 years ago

Note

Wait what's wrong with the AKOM How Do You Sleep episode? I remember it being fine but its been ages since i listened to it so if you've got any thoughts I'd love to hear them :)

Be aware, this is only about the first episode, not about the George-focused episode. If they resolve any of the issues I have with the first episode in the second episode, then I sincerely apologize.

First, there are some things they talk about that I agree with! Near the end of the episode, they discuss the dynamic between John and the people around him in a really insightful way, and in a way I’ve often thought about it; both John and the people around him were all kind of in this mindset of “oh, Paul rejected us? Well, we didn’t want him ANYWAY! So THERE!” They also discuss the fact that John was very easily manipulated, and nearly his entire support system (minus Ringo, and shame on them for not mentioning that) basically egged his anger and viciousness on. And they also play/read some interviews with John about the song and tangential subjects, and it’s always nice to hear primary sources.

However, much like their post about Lewisohn, I find a lot of this episode excessive, overtorqued, and generally far too exaggerated. They perceive an imbalance in narratives (which I do think is there, just not to the extent they say) and overcorrect, imho.

First, I want to get my opinion on the song itself out of the way: I listen to it a lot. It’s on my Fall 2020 playlist. I enjoy the musicality, the style; the mood it evokes is extremely strong to me. Sometimes it’s fun to indulge in feeling evil or mean without having to actually be evil or mean! Plus, I love playing it right before Jealous Guy, or Steel and Glass, or I Know (I Know), just to get that maximum John Lennon Mood Whiplash effect. I think George’s solo is vicious and perfect for the mood as well. However, the lyrics are pretty horrendous in terms of their effect on Paul and his feelings; they’re also horrendous in that they’re just not well-written lyrics. IMHO you can tell it was written by three different people all throwing insults at the wall to see what would stick and rhyme. Half of the digs don’t even make sense. “So Sgt. Pepper took you by surprise/You better see right through that mother’s eyes” Wut? “The one mistake you made was in your head” ??? The hell do these things even mean lmao

Anyway. Onto the episode itself.

Around 1 minute in, they say that there’s not a lot of check and balance in the Beatles fandom w/r/t this song, and that much of the fandom espouses that HDYS was “deserved” and “honest”. They reiterate this sentiment over in different ways throughout the episode, and I just do not see that kind of thing being a majority opinion in Beatles fandom spaces at all. Perhaps they are occupying different fandom spaces than I occupy (tumblr/Hey Dullblog/beatlebioreview), and it is true where they are? (In which case, my goodness, find some better blogs to follow, babes!) They talk about how they’ve never seen anyone pick it apart before, and that the discussion around it has not changed, that people have been saying Paul deserved it since it came out. Again, this is does not jive with my experience in the Beatles fandom.

From Shout!, a book with a well known anti-McCartney streak, published in 1981: “John’s Imagine album - despite the plea for universal peace and brotherhood in the title track - launched a thermo-nuclear strike back at Paul with ‘How Do You Sleep?’ a title suggesting crimes almost in the realm of first-degree murder. The McCartney references were unmistakable, and, often, cruelly unjust: ‘The freaks was right when they said you was dead... The only thing you done was Yesterday...’ There was even a two-fingered gesture of contempt for Paul’s new outdoor life with Linda on their Scottish farm.” Also, the RS review spends two paragraphs talking specifically about how heinous and unjustifiable HDYS is. You can definitely say that rock journalism takes some of the attitude of HDYS and runs with them, such as Paul’s music sounding like muzak - that sentiment certainly persisted. But I would argue that most of the shit journos are reacting to and buying into comes from Lennon Remembers primarily, where John says all the same crap and more, and worse, rather than HDYS itself, which they seem to balk at.

They make the claim as well that the Imagine LP has been elevated to some kind of untouchable, un-criticizeable status. In the years after his death, I think there is probably some truth to that, although again, untouchable is an extreme word. Even in 2003, the LP was number 80 on Rolling Stone’s top 500 albums of all time. However, it was 227 on NME’s list in 2013 and dropped to 223 on Rolling Stone’s new 2020 list, suggesting a waning in popularity over time and a willingness to look more objectively at the quality of it.

The thing that really bothered me about this episode is like... They talk about the need for nuanced discussion of the song, right? And that’s all fine and good, and I agree, nuance in any Beatles discussion is essential if you want to get close to any actual truth. However, they then go on to say, quite adamantly, that if you say the music of the song is good, even if you think the lyrics are awful, then they wouldn’t even bother having a conversation with you. It’s very “We want nuance! NO NOT LIKE THAT! YOU’RE DOING NUANCE WRONG!” Like, I’m sorry, the music is good, in my opinion! John is very good at evoking a mood! The fact that I think George’s solo is incredible, or that the keyboard riff gives me chills, or that I think the bass goes super hard, doesn’t mean I don’t understand how rough the lyrics are or the effect they had on Paul. In fact, imho, I think it’s important that we discuss how quality the music is because it underscores the calculated cruelty John exhibited. He worked hard on this song. He wanted to create a very specific feeling out of it, and he succeeded in spades. I think if it had been crappy musically, people would have been much more contemptuous of it than they already are. As I said earlier, some of the digs don’t even make sense; I think they’re bolstered and propped up specifically because the music underneath them is so good. Also, it’s not fucking wrong to enjoy a groove.

I also take some issue with them saying that HDYS was easily among the worst things John ever did. Like... equivalent or worse than going on anti-Semitic, homophobic rants? Yikes.

There are many instances in this episode where they will go “I often read things like...” or “Jean Jackets will say...” or “I see this a lot...” and then never actually talk about where they see these things or quote directly from them. One instance goes “I often read things like, ‘John Lennon is expressing years of pent-up resentment over creative differences’, as if John is some kind of, like, drunk art teacher doling out free advice to Paul on his music.” I’ve read a lot about HDYS and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that. Just about every discussion of the song I’ve seen says very clearly that it was an unjustified, deeply personal attack. I realize there is an aversion to publicly Naming Names when you’re calling out people who perpetuate a bad narrative. But I want to know where this stuff comes from. I want to actually see what it is they’re upset about.

Lastly, they talk near the end about music innovation and experimentation, and this is where I think things go much too far in overcorrecting a narrative. The well-known narrative for many years post breakup was that Paul was a boring square who wrote granny music. That is true; he was much maligned in the press about that. However, I think post-Hertsgaard, post-Revolution In The Head, post-Complete Recording Sessions, and post-Many Years From Now, that attitude has changed quite a bit. Most serious Beatles fans know now that Paul was the first one to really get into Avant-Garde stuff; most fans know about the fact that he made McCartney 1 basically alone in a homemade studio. Most fans have probably heard or at least heard of Temporary Secretary, lmao.

But it feels like these women are still living in the past where Paul was still being maligned for being a square, so instead they go way far to the other end and say “Paul was the musical innovator, not John.” And that is just flat out NOT true. They were BOTH musical innovators. The fact that Paul was the first to get into avant-garde art does not exclude John from also being incredibly innovative and experimental in his own way. Perhaps he wasn’t doing that on Imagine; they are right that Imagine is a collection of really good but fairly commercial songs. But they utterly discount the fact that he did Strawberry Fields Forever, and I Want You (She’s So Heavy), popularized backmasking, was one of the first if not the first to use amp feedback in a song in I Feel Fine, experimented with recording his voice differently with Tomorrow Never Knows and Revolution, and also the entirety of Plastic Ono Band!!! You don’t have to downplay or erase John’s experimental contributions to music in order to elevate Paul’s. You can elevate both of them. It’s fine.

Also, this is the episode where they say Lewisohn’s book is exactly the same as all the other Jean Jackets books except thicker, and I have a viscerally bad reaction to that for many reasons I have already outlined on this blog. Suffice to say, it is demonstrably untrue (not least because Lewisohn hasn’t published anything in his Tune In series that goes beyond 1962) and unfair to someone who has done an unbelievable amount of legwork to back up his writing. They also compare Lewisohn to Goldman (???????) and call them John and Yoko’s “fuckin bitch boys saying the same shit over and over again.” I have to imagine Goldman was a misspeak and she meant someone else, but still that jarred me lmfao

#about the blogger #Anonymous #podcast blues

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razanartuk · 3 years ago

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about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

#mel.rtf #abt me #tag games

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rivetgoth · 4 years ago

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I had this friend I met in the Hetalia fandom in like 8th-9th grade who was like, a lot older than me (I was like 12-13 when we met and she was like 17 or so), and we were REALLY close for a really long time, we'd talk and call every day and it got to a point where she was really dependent on me in this awful way where she would like constantly threaten suicide if I didn't answer her texts fast enough and shit like that. She was really rich cuz her dad was a doctor and one time she bought me an entire fucking Xbox One (I did not ask for it like... I'd always been a PlayStation gamer LOL) because she didn't have anyone to play Halo with her. My family still has it and uses it as a DVD player/Netflix machine.

Anyway the really batshit thing about this person (BESIDES the fact that she was like, definitely a pedophile who loved shota and frequently sexted me after she'd turned 18+ and I was like 14 and she also had both a bestiality and incest fetish that she'd talk to me about constantly — I was a kid I had no moral concept of anything and just liked being edgy and feeling mature) was that she was like. A chronic liar who constantly faked identities. And for years after cutting off contact with her I would look back and realize that she had faked even more than I had noticed at the time. The thing is, I knew for sure she wasn't lying about her home life -- Her address, what she looked like, her dad's profession, her age, her house, her pets, etc, were all things I had proof of. But when I knew her she was constantly remaking her Tumblr to escape drama she'd start, and she would constantly make side blogs under pseudonyms and pretend it wasn't her (sometimes it would be random shit like aesthetic blogs under different names or ask blogs for characters or smthn, other times it was like, callout blogs for people she had gotten into drama with where she would pretend to be someone else defending her). I assumed back then that I was always going to be in on it, because she would always tell me whenever she made one of these fake accounts, and sometimes she would encourage me to make a new account too as a sort of roleplay thing where we both pretended to be people we weren't... Until I learned that she wasn't always telling me. Every so often, I would become mutuals with a new account who would start messaging me about my interests and strike a conversation with me. Then something would slip and my "new mutual" would admit that they had actually been my friend all along... Which should have made me immediately cut contact because that's weird as shit, but I was young and she was a close friend, so I would just sorta accept it.

She ended up being like, horrifically transphobic. She got run off her blog twice for being specifically transmisogynistic, first insisting that she was allowed to headcanon canon trans women as feminine men and then on her next blog insisting that lesbians couldn't be attracted to trans women. I was still young and closeted and she was one of my closest friends and was constantly messaging me that the situation was making her suicidal and she was just wording things wrong and totally supported trans people and people just weren’t giving her the benefit of the doubt and she was still learning so I tried to just stay out of it without losing her. Then... I came out as trans lol. She stopped replying to me when I first came out and then made a bunch of vents on her tumblr about how much it upset her and about how “using he/him pronouns for AFAB people is triggering” for whatever fucking reason. She told me her “best IRL friend” who she had introduced me to once on Skype but who never logged in again after and who refused to ever do a group call or anything (definitely another fake account) said that it was irrational for me to expect my friends to respect my pronouns so soon after coming out and that I shouldn’t be upset if I get misgendered. Then she apologized but told me my name and pronouns would never fit me. As you can imagine, as a little baby trans kid who was closeted from my family and terrified of even having come to terms with being trans, I didn’t really have a great defense.

Soon she started being really woke like 2014 style Tumblr SJW to save face, she came out as nonbinary and told me in private it was because she felt bad when people called her cis during discourse (she absolutely wasn't nonbinary) and she coined a "new sexuality" that was "attraction only to people you perceive as feminine, regardless of how they identify" -- what this actually meant was "attraction to cis women and not trans women." She ran an aroace help blog despite not being aroace? And made a bunch of pride flags that I still see around sometimes to this day. She would start fights a lot and try to out-woke people and got into a bunch of drama with other SJW types of the day, got into a bunch of drama with TumblrInAction and Mogai-Watch and shit like that, and she claimed for a short while that she had a headmate (FWIW I totally believe DID is a legitimate thing but like. Trust me on this one.) who was transphobic and that it made her so sad, she told me that it was actually that headmate that had been transphobic before, and every so often her headmate would front out of nowhere and misgender me and use really abusive language like calling me a cunt or a bitch or whatever. She started making these "intersex nonbinary" OCs who she would constantly make porn of under the guise that they were representation for LGBT people who were just like, extremely fetishistic cuntboys and dickgirls (they were “intersex” to explain why they could be “girls with natal penises” or “boys with natal vaginas”).

At that same time, she somehow always managed to have these random, very sporadically active trans women mutuals who were apparently amazing friends of hers, who shared some interests with her but also would defend her when people brought up her past, with these long-winded “Well, I’m a trans woman and I think what she said is perfectly justified and everyone makes mistakes and she’s always been a good ally!!” Then one day some trans woman received an ask from her account where she claimed to be a “black trans woman” (she was, of course, a white cis woman) and she freaked out and claimed she had “been hacked by TiA or 4Chan to make her look bad” — I realize now she had just been sending anon messages pretending to be things she wasn’t and forgot to hit anon LOL. Late in all of this she also got into a bunch of hot water for being really antisemitic and saying she didn’t trust Jewish people because they were just like Christians and like, 5 seconds later she came out as Jewish and wrote this whole long sad vent about how she had had internalized antisemitism and then started going by a random Hebrew name LMAO.

In the end the final breaking point was when I found her secret TERF blog, where she had been making posts for months about how trans men are just insecure women who are trying to escape misogyny by stepping on the backs of “fellow women” and using me as a fucking example, and also saying that me not coming out as a trans man had been “basically rape” since she had been SEXTING me when she was 18+ and I was 13-14+ and that it was traumatic to know someone she had trusted was secretly identifying as a man LMAO. She was also obviously saying all sorts of transmisogynistic things, but also had these really bizarre fetish posts about wanting trans women to fuck her...? I confronted her about it and she literally fucking out of nowhere told me that she was in the emergency room with a mysterious illness that might kill her and she was allowed to have her phone but due to privacy laws couldn’t send a picture as proof. While “in the hospital” she deleted the TERF blog and her personal blog. I had known her for literal YEARS at this point (we had met when I was 12-13 or so and by the time we no longer spoke I was a few months from 17), and I was completely stunned to fucking hear this person trying to pull “I’m in the hospital with a deadly disease” at being confronted for some shit like that LMAO. I made a post about it on my public and another “trans woman friend” of hers logged in to vehemently defend her by saying that there’s nothing wrong with AFAB women being untrusting of trans people because female oppression is uniquely traumatic and that there’s nothing wrong with women expressing their sexuality by sexting minors as long as the minor consents and that I was the real predator for “hiding that I was a man” (remember, I’d been a 13 year old closeted trans boy), before never logging in again... 😭 One of the last times we ever talked was when she demanded I refund her for the fucking Xbox and I refused.

Anyway, the long-term aftermath of that is that a few people online (in some random cringe areas of the internet) who archived some of her antics still think that I also wasn’t a real person, since they caught onto how much she lied about too, so they think I was also a sock puppet and I have no interest in clarifying and making myself known to those people LOL. I have no fucking idea where she is now, she deactivated everything after her being a TERF came out. There’s like, so much more to that I could say because I knew her for YEARS and, like I said, she was one of my “closest friends.” Her parents had wildly expensive pure bred designer dogs that she would make Vines of. She wrote Beatles real person fan fiction. For her birthday one year I made her a shirt on Zazzle with an inside joke about one of her OCs... does she still have that? Either way, she was easily the most batshit person I’ve ever known closely online and I will forever associate the Hetalia fandom with people like that.

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georgesparadise · 4 years ago

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Fears: none

3 things I love: music, old stuff and travel (I’ll put another one: george ezra)

4 turns on: george ezra, indie, music, sing

4 turns off: abusers, men, teenagers and teenagers again

My best friend: @michelleplayswithfire and Kah

Which part of the world are you from? Brazil

What do I miss? England

Favorite color? yellow and red

Do I have a crush? george ezra

Favorite quote? "When this adventure ends your next one will begin"

Favorite place: London and Hertfordshire

Favorite food? tiramissu

Do I use sarcasm? oh yes

What am I listening to right now? dig a pony - the beatles

First thing I notice in new person? charisma

Favorite style of clothing? comfortable clothes and plaid shirts

Ever done a prank call? well....yes

Meaning behind my URL? because of george ezra's song ''paradise''

Favorite movie? Paddington

Favorite song? Lucky Shirt

Favorite band? The Fratellis

How I feel right now? good

Someone I love? george ezra

My current relationship status? george ezra

My relationship with my parents? pretty good

Favorite holiday? none

Tattoos and piercing i have? none

Tattoos and piercing i want? something related with doctor who

The reason I joined Tumblr? just because I like

Do I and my last ex hate each other? I hate him, because he's so toxic

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no, never

When did I last hold hands? august, 2017

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10 minutes

Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? sure

Where am I right now? home

If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? what a hell

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? loud with headphones on and showing my good taste in music to my neighbours

Am I excited for anything? yes, yes, yes

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no one

How often do I wear a fake smile? never

When was the last time I hugged someone? what?

What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? go fuck yourself

Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? wait???

What is something I disliked about today? men and teenagers

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? george ezra, obviously

What do I think about most? george ezra

What’s my strangest talent? ???

Do I have any strange phobias? c'mon

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? both

What was the last lie I told? That I told to my classmate that I didn't make my test, just because he's wanted my answers

Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? none lol

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? ghosts yes, aliens no (what a hell!)

Do I believe in magic? yes

Do I believe in luck? yes

What's the weather like right now? cold and sunny

What was the last book I've read? Thanks a Lot Mr. Kibblewhite

Do I like the smell of gasoline? y e s

Do I have any nicknames? ray, lily, migs...

What was the worst injury I've ever had? what?

Do I spend money or save it? both

Can I touch my nose with a tongue? no

Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? the kitchen's tv

Favorite animal? guinea pig and dogs

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? listening the new album of the fratellis

What do I think is Satan’s last name is? WHAT?

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? anything that george ezra puts and when my mother say ''the dinner is ready''

How can you win my heart? buy a trip for europe

What would I want to be written on my tombstone? here's the george ezra fanatic girl

What is my favorite word? petan

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I have only one @michelleplayswithfire

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? I WANT TO MEET GEORGE EZRA!

Do I have any relatives in jail? no, are you kidding me?

I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? I'm confused

What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? what?

What is my current desktop picture? star wars wallpaper

Had sex? nooo, mens are toxic

Bought condoms? nooo, mens are toxic

Gotten pregnant? nooo, mens are toxic

Failed a class? in my english classes

Kissed a boy? nooo, mens are toxic

Kissed a girl? no

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? yes, but i regret

Had job? I had

Left the house without my wallet? no

Bullied someone on the internet? no

Had sex in public? wtf

Played on a sports team? no

Smoked weed? no

Did drugs? no

Smoked cigarettes? no

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? I respect them, but I'm not none of both

Been overweight? yes

Been underweight? yes

Been to a wedding? yes

Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? yes

Watched TV for 5 hours straight? yes

Been outside my home country? yes

Gotten my heartbroken? yes, but I don't care anymore

Been to a professional sports game? not yet

Broken a bone? yes

Cut myself? yes

Been to prom? yes

Been in an airplane? yes

Fly by helicopter? no

What concerts have I been to? The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney, Duran Duran and Maroon 5

Had a crush on someone of the same sex? yes...

Learned another language? Yes, I'm fluent in English and semi-fluent in Spanish

Wore make up? no

Lost my virginity before I was 18? I’m just 17 (???)

Had oral sex? wtf

Dyed my hair? not yet

Voted in a presidential election? no, in the last one, I was not yet old to vote

Rode in an ambulance? yes

Had a surgery? a lot

Met someone famous? I only saw from a distance

Stalked someone on a social network? yes

Peed outside? noo, ewwww

Been fishing? no (??)

Helped with charity? yes

Been rejected by a crush? a lot of times

Broken a mirror? yes

What do I want for birthday? george ezra and a new record player

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burninghoneyatdusk · 4 years ago

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10 Questions Tag Game

Rules: Answer 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people however many people your heart desires to answer them.

Tagged by @iishallbelieve , thanks Stef! 💙

I already did this yesterday but I’m bored and these are new questions so 🤷🏼‍♀️ This time I won’t be lazy and will actually add questions & tag some folks.

1. What’s your favourite book?

The Catcher in the Rye. I’m a firm believer that anyone who says this book is about an angsty rich teenager whining the whole time has never dealt with depression or any sort of trauma. I’ve read it every 5ish years since I was 13 and always find something new in it/see it differently depending on the age I’m at. I wrote a high school thesis on the symbolism in it and the idea of loss of innocence and...yeah, anyway, I could go on all day.

2. Do you like to travel?

Love to! Last summer I drove across the country when I moved to California and stopped in Nashville, Jackson (lmao was supposed to be New Orleans but there was that July hurricane...), Austin, El Paso, and Tuscan. Unfortuantely my last big trip was three years ago so I’m due for one if we can travel again any time soon 🙃🙃

3. Last city /country visited?

Last city was going back to DC for a visit/work training for a week in Feb. Last time I left the country was my trip to SE Asia three years ago.

4. Do you like old movies?

Not particularly, but I love old horror movies like Hitchcock and the 70s/80s slasher films. Cliche but It’s a Wonderful Life is my fav christmas movie. I sob when I watch every year on Christmas Eve.

5. What is your ultimate dream in life?

Oh man. My first instinct was to say to publish a novel that’s like...at least semi-successful. But the older I get, I just want simple things out of life like love, happiness, being at peace with myself, helping others.

6. Are you single / in couple / married?

Single. I’m a terrible mix of independent, introverted, and picky. I started to get back into dating in March for the first time since ending something back in January but obviously that didn’t happen 😬

7. Something you really like in you?

I like that I’m independent. Definitely aware of my privilege but can also handle most of my shit alone if that makes sense (middle child here 👋🏻). I’m also really empathetic and passionate about the things I care about.

8. Do you know how to ride a horse?

Lol NO. Tbh they scare me, I’ve never had a desire to ride a horse, and will probably die before ever having rode one.

9. A song you loooooooved when you were 15 years old.

Oh god. 2009 was a long time ago. Maybe Sometime Around Midnight? Honestly I didn’t listen to a lot of top 40 back then and was all about the sad indie/alt rock or acoustic/singer-song writer. I was probably listening to some weird mix of Jack’s Mannequin, Matt Nathanson, OAR, Reliant K, T Swift, Mat Kearney, the Fray, the Beatles, and a random assortment of 70s/80s/90s music. Please don’t judge me.

10. A piece of art to describe you (song/painting/music/movie…).

Hmm. Big Fish is my fav movie and I love both the message and aesthetic of it. I just love music and can’t imagine narrowing it down to a song. I stumbled upon these two paintings on tumblr years ago and still love them/immediatey felt drawn to them, so take that how you will.

My Questions

sorry I like going deep w these

1. What’s a memory you wish that you could go back in time to and relive?

2. If you could talk to your 13 year old self, what would you tell her/advice would you give her?

3. What’s your favorite quote of all time? Why?

4. What is the quality you value most in a friend?

5. If the pandemic magically ended today, how would you spend tomorrow?

6. If you could go back in time and live in any era & location, and face no danger, where would you choose?

7. What heroine of a movie, book, tv show, story, or history do you relate to most?

8. Without saying who the person is, what is a question you wish you could ask someone but can’t?

9. In one sentence, what are you personally struggling with right now?

10. What’s a book/article/story that brought you joy/comfort/healing that you wish others would read?

Tagging the following, but feel free to ignore:

@elora-lane , @pendragaryen , @iishallbelieve , @natassakar , @queenemori , @queen-of-the-wallflowers15 , @wolfheartgirl , @changingthefairy-tale , @animmortalist , @angstybleuskies , @jasperjoordan , @depinna , @bellarkestitchdelena , @eyessharpweaponshot , @igotbellarkeforthat , @immortalcockroach , @immortalpramheda , @nothing-but-sand-and-dust , @carrieeve , @dayo488 , @bookwormforalways , @bellarkeisinthegoodplace , @cominguproses13x , @moonlight-shark , @ruggedmurphy , @nakey-cats-take-bathsss , @iwearplaids , @useyourtelescope , @shaeheda , @piningbellarke , @nvermindiseeyou , @katersann , @kombellarke , @the100epic & whoever else wants to do this, feel free to tag me 😊

#tag games #personal #about #burninghoneyatdusk

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peachybeatles · 5 years ago

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ultimate bottom!John master post ;)

Every fic listed is mclennon, includes sexual content and is on ao3. Do feel free to add onto the list if I’ve missed anything!

Be My Baby - crybabycry

“Tell me, Johnny,” Paul murmured, teasing his almost-auburn hair between his fingers, “were you a good boy today?”

John’s breath quickened, blush spreading as he readjusted himself on Paul’s lap. “No, Paul, I was not a good boy today.”

These Nights - Unchained_Daisychain

Music journalist John Lennon is tasked with writing an article on newfound pop artist Paul McCartney. A night of fame, music, and passion soon surround John before he knows it. By the end of it all, he’s not so sure he can manage to give up this star and these nights.

Father’s Day - ImagineBeatles

John and Paul have a different way of celebrating Father’s day.

Understanding - ImagineBeatles

John wants to know what it’s like to be fucked roughly after he had seen how much Paul had enjoyed it, when he had done it to him. Paul is more than happy to do it.

The First Scene - DemonDean10

John is an omega and has kept this secret from all his friends for years. Until one day while on their first visit to the U.S. he discovers he forgot his heat suppressants. There is an Alpha that could come to his rescue, but what will happen after the two wake up and realize what they've done.

Higher Education - smothermeinrelish

Starting anew in Edinburgh Scotland, John is hired as a conservationist at the University where he will be working along side English Literature Professor Dr. Paul McCartney. John is instantly attracted to his new supervisor and mentor, but the feelings aren't mutual? Are they? Set in modern AU, the teacher/ student relationship could be more than just a temporary fling.

You Teaser, You Pleaser - Unchained_Daisychain

John and Paul finally find time to put their new handcuffs to use.

John shrugged, but the smirk on his lips belied his nonchalance. He glanced at the handcuffs Paul held between their bodies. “Seize the moment, Macca,” he said, low, tracing a single finger along the ridges of one open cuff. “Or any accessible poles throughout the day. They always leave that part out.”

Tease Me - nipsynips

His bandmates had always called him the ‘kinky’ one, but they had always assumed it was him doing the tying and the holding down and the commanding. True enough, that was often the case, especially with birds, but it wasn’t his preference. In fact, contrary to what most people thought, John relished the chance to relinquish control every once in a while.

Patience is a Virtue - Peachy_Beatles

John is trying his best to song write despite his overactive imagination. Luckily, Paul is willing to reward him for his efforts.

Summer Rose - chanderson

John and Paul rekindle their relationship late summer 1980. John's feeling lost, and Paul's missing him in more ways than one.

Cutting Strings - Peachy_Beatles

Early 1969: With John’s increasing emotional unavailability, Paul is left clinging on to whatever he can get from him- no matter how unfulfilling.

I Blame Tumblr - DemonDean10

I would just like to apologize to the world and myself for doing this. Based off this Tumblr post by @johnsdoublechin: @ the ppl who say John isnt a bottom at my last post well I got MY SOURCES. George, Ringo, Paul, Brian, Cynthia, and Yoko have all topped him thanks for listening And so...this was born. Basically John bottoms for everyone. Everyone tops him. I did this instead of my actual fics.

Ten Minutes - ImagineBeatles, ChutJeDors

Paul had thought that his friends only wanted the best for him, with giving him a gift card to a brothel and all. Now, having ended up in a room with a stunningly handsome male whore, he needs to reconsider those ideas about his friends, and his beliefs in life altogether. It’s just for ten minutes, though… Definitely a once in a lifetime thing, and all that. Totally! Right? Right??

What Feels Right/ This Loving Game - ImagineBeatles

Paul and Julia have been going out for a while and now they’ve decided to move in together. What Paul hadn’t expected when he’d agreed was that he’d fall in love with her troublesome teenage son, John

like a river flows, surely to the sea - toppermostofthepoppermost

John is smiling around his cigarette, head thrown back, eyes fixed on the cloudy sky, and it takes Paul all of his poor will to mutter, “You shouldn’t flirt with your teachers, you know?” “In my defense, Mr. McCartney,” John quips, shifting his gaze to Paul, “you make it very hard not to.” Or: Modern-day AU where Paul spends his days teaching everything Shakespeare, getting angry at modern electronic devices, raising a five-year-old girl who's 50% puppy eyes and 50% sassy comebacks and trying not to fall in love with John Lennon, his university student.

The Consequences of Getting What You Want - deux_lunes

Why John Lennon really beat Bob Wooler up at Paul’s birthday party.

Queer - deux_lunes

Paul gives John what he desires

Discipline - deux_lunes

John has been an utter brat and Paul decides that he is in desperate need of discipline.

Skype sex. - mickeymouse (Sgtmacca0)

day 8. john skypes paul in the middle of the night.

In the Back Seat of My Car - ImagineBeatles

Modern AU. After having met at Stuart's birthday party, John and Paul get down and dirty in the back of John's car.

It won’t be long - orphan_account

After some interesting scents were being left around everywhere the Beatles went, even without any women around, it became obvious that someone in the band is an omega and never told anyone. But no one seems to care, or even notice, but Paul. The only other alpha in the band, with John of course. And he sniffs out (literally and figuratively) who it is alone in the hotel.

James - JP (jpgr1963)

Paul helps John cope with stress while on tour in 1964.

Magical Mystery Tour Love - DemonDean10

Paul gets drunk one night during MMT filming and confesses his love for John. John had been in love for yrs and is elated. but when Paul wakes up he remembers very little of the night before, will he tell John or try to make the relationship work, even with all the moral conflicts it brings up?

Day 30: Who’s Your Daddy, Johnny Boy? - ImagineBeatles

John's been a naughty boy who needs his Daddy to punish him and make him learn his lesson. Or at least, that's what Paul thinks. Not that John isn't more than happy to indulge his lover.

Day 22: Over The Desk - ImagineBeatles

1968. John keeps bothering Paul while he's busy doing management stuff, which is highly irritating for the younger Beatle, especially seeing as John makes it abundantly clear he isn't going to leave until he gets what he came for. In the end, John gets a little more than he bargained for.

Day 18: Lazy Morning Sex - ImagineBeatles

John and Paul spend the morning in bed together.

Day 6: Clothed Getting-Off - ImagineBeatles

John had seen Paul watching him, eyes hot and determined, so he was not at all surprised when he was dragged into an alleyway and pushed up against a brick wall to have his lips positively snogged off.

I Want You - sockittoem

“In which John gets really horny after doing coke, and needs Paul to fuck it out of him.”

The Night Before - andthemoondogs

[ Anon McLennon prompt: "The Night Before" ] John and Paul have a night of drunken sex, after which, John panics and gives Paul the cold shoulder until Paul finally confronts him about it.

Day 7: Naked/Dressed - ImagineBeatles

1964. On the set of A Hard Day's Night, John and Paul cannot get one particular scene right in which Paul has to drag John away from a couple of girl as they try to find Paul's grandfather on the train, so they sneak off to practise the scene together. Soon, however, the boys have other things on their minds than rehearsing a scene.

Kiss Me - orphan_account

Mimi is gone for a trip, and when John and Paul meet at John's house for practice, things don't go quite as planned.

masturbation. - mickeymouse(Sgt macca0)

day 4. paul masturbates at the thought of john.

bottoms up. - ffomixam

“Can we get some mclennon with a possessive, dominant paul and compliant john? (technically doesn’t have to be smut)”

breathe desperation. - ffomixam

McLennon smut, something along the lines of a first time, unexpected, adrenaline fueled, thoughtless, desperate handsy-ness and making out backstage after a show with John as the more submissive and needy one?

love me harder. - ffomixam

Could you write a fic about Paul fucking John in public while in Hamburg, being really rough and dominant and teasing John that someone’s going to hear them and see John taking it up the arse, and John just devolves into a cummy fucked-out mess.

Of Hot Chocolate and Rainy Nights - paulmcfartney

yall already know what's goin on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I feel like I’m the worst, so I act like im the best - KiwiPillow

John, a young ravishing man, who is absolutely uninterested in anything but himself really, gets pursued by his roommate to try a dating website! What could go wrong? Well, maybe your "match" could turn out to be a bastard stalker mobster boss with a serious daddy kink, who wants to work on your attitude. Shocked and upset. In the mob bosses defence, John is annoying as hell in this.

#mclennon #paul mccartney #John Lennon #the beatles #George Harrison #ringo starr #botttom john #fic rec

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thatmiddle · 4 years ago

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Top 10 Albums that Shaped my Existence

How do I put this lightly, I believe listening to music matters as much as breathing. I know that is hyperbolic, but I don’t care. It can fuel your soul in a similar way that air fuels your body to move. It brings to life moments, places, and people. That’s probably why if you listen closely music is everywhere. It’s in the steel drums at Union subway station or the clarinet player at Yonge and Dundas Square. It’s is found from a broken guitar with unclipped strings in Kensington Market to a radio blasting out of an open window. It’s heard from the lake on a cool breezy summer night. It’s made by the leaves in the trees and the creatures roaming its branches. Music is inescapable.

Music is also a lot cheaper than therapy and for most, it is incredibly accessible. In saying that I do not mean to conflate therapy to music, but I do think there is a healing power to songs. This form of artistic expression has been with me during my brightest minutes and my darkest hours. I have relied on it like Aladdin did his magic carpet; it lift me up and took me to places I never thought I’d ever go. All I have to do was turn it on, tune in and drop out, as some would say.

During this pandemic I have leaned heavily into music, it is the perfect socially distanced escape. During this time that I have also gone back to old albums and reflected on how they influenced me and shape who I am today.

In Rainbows - Radiohead

If I had owned this album in an analogue form I would have destroyed it by overplaying it in my Discman. Radiohead is a wonderful band that have made wonderful albums but for some reason, this is the particular one I return to. To me, In Rainbows is the music I heard when I realized that I wanted to take my life in a different more creative direction than that of my peers. In Rainbows is the album I heard on carpool rides to Shakespeare Camp as a young girl. In Rainbows is what played in my head the first time I walked into Kensington Market as a young naive suburban girl. The music is so diverse with its sound but creates a distinctly modern tone. I find the music runs like a stream and cascades into fountains of sound I never expected. All the songs are beautiful but my favourite from the album has always been House of Cards.

Brothers - The Black Keys

If In Rainbows was an early marker of my youth, Brothers by The Black Keys established my teenage self and heavily moulded how I carried myself into my early twenties. With the raunchy guitar, hard drums and vocals somewhere between garage rock and blues, this album stimulated every part of my life. It is one of those albums that upon listening to the first fifteen seconds of the opening track Everlasting Light, I am immediately taken back to driving around in Toronto suburbs and getting into trouble. This album started my ongoing obsession with The Black Keys. Fun fact I named my first Tumblr blog off of a misreading a song lyric in the track The Only One, which also happens to be one of my favourite tracks on the album. I’ve tried to see The Black Keys live twice and both times I was unable to attend the concert. One day I will see them.

Revolver - The Beatles

There are a lot of Beatles albums I love and I wouldn’t say this is my favourite of theirs, but it is I would argue its one of their more underrated albums. From what I have gathered about Beatles fans (having been one since I was six years old), this choice isn’t mutually exclusive. It does however seem that established fans love either Rubber Soul or Revolver. For me, I choose the latter. This album is very experimental for the band as they were still coming out of their admired boy band era. I came to this album as a young girl whenever I played with my toys in the living room of my childhood home. I always heard a Beatles album playing in the background and when Revolver came on I was elated. My toys went on new adventures, met new people and told new stories. The Beatles have always brought out the creativity in me and I’m very grateful for that. Check out the song I’m Only Sleeping, it’s so meditative and my most replayed track.

Man on the Moon: The End of Day - Kid Cudi

I wasn’t in a good place when I was fortunate enough to be introduced to this album as being a teenager can be an incredibly difficult experience. Yet upon hearing this album I was pleasantly surprised, I never expected to find that catharsis in a young American rapper named Kid Cudi. I always liked some rap and hip-hip songs (don’t ever get me started on the importance of Sean Paul), but foolishly enough I never gave a full album or artist the chance. Man on the Moon found me at the right moment. This album’s production is so complex and crosses genres in ways I never expected; it leaves me wanting more every time. Kid Cudi hip-hop is different, Kid Cudi hip-hop goes deep and feels it. While Day ‘N’ Nite is one of the most recognizable songs on the album don’t sleep on Heart of a Lion, it’s beautiful.

For Emma, Forever Ago - Bon Iver

Like many teens in the mid-2000s, I made a Tumblr account. It was a great place filled with hormone-induced rage posts, images of skinny girls ripped from the website We Heart It, and boundless creativity. As a previous webpage creator hailing from the Geocities days, site creation was not new to me. I took up a URL and got to work. During this time I leaned deeper into the ‘indie girl’ aesthetic, which is where I found Bon Iver. Bon Iver’s music is soft and melodic and his guitar strums could whisk you away on a cloud. For Emma, Forever Ago was the soundtrack to the version of me who longed for combat boots, a-line skirts from American Apparel, and a cute hipster boyfriend to take me away from all my problems. I never got everything I wanted, but I was always able to sit in deep thought and listen to this album and for that, I’m incredibly grateful. The Wolves (Act I and II) is one of my favourite tracks off the album, I love the crescendo towards the end of the song it makes me want to release any bad feelings I have through some strong movement.

Is this it - The Strokes

I don’t remember when I first heard this album, I just know it was an unofficial anthem to my early twenties. Was it playing at that frat party? Or maybe it was at the live show in that bar one time. Is This It is the perfect album for starting out in a new place with dreams and about $20 to your name. This album is made for people entering young adulthood making mistakes and living for the moment. Garage rock is such an underrated genre, but perhaps that’s the suburban girl in me speaking. I want to dance every time I hear a track of this perfectly crafted experience. I hear those guitar riffs and I am taken back to running through Toronto at midnight with friends. Is This It is unapologetic and an outstanding debut album for The Strokes and cemented their status as indie rock legends, I don’t care what anyone says. There are a lot of amazing songs to recommend but I will try and spice things up. Last Nite and the title track Is This It are obvious choices but the bop you need to listen to is Someday.

Wish you were here - Pink Floyd

Everyone has to listen to Pink Floyd in university otherwise they never went…right? Pink Floyd always felt like a right of passage that I would eventually reach although I did cheat and wear a Dark Side of The Moon cropped t-shirt I got from HMV in high school just to seem cool. It wasn’t until first-year university I fell in love with the song Wish You Were Here. I’m sure I was just feeling nostalgic after moving out of my suburban bubble and into the big city for the first time. Nevertheless, after annoying my new roommates by listening to that song on repeat in my bedroom I decided to give the rest of the album a shot and immediately fell in l love. It is a short ride but an emotional journey. I thought I had felt everything I needed to feel at 21, then I heard Shine On You Crazy Diamond (Pts 1-5). If you were living under a rock and haven’t heard this album I recommend it. And do check out that track.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar

Swimming Pools was everywhere in 2012, it was synonymous with the nightlife which was surprising given its lyrics. Good kid MAAD city takes the ideas explored in Swimming Pools and expands them into a full universe. As soon as I turned on the first song I felt like I had been lifted from my cold Canadian home and into the chaotic Compton of Kendrick Lamar’s universe. This concept album has such depth I feel I learnt more than I would have ever expected. I love the way the album weaves recorded scenes with various characters and the music, it creates such a vivid picture as you listen through the whole piece. I felt deep sympathy towards the struggles told on the record in ways I never thought I would. Good kid m.A.A.d city is a great ride from start to finish without ever skipping a single track, but if you had to speed up to a gem I highly recommend the track Money Trees.

channel Orange - Frank Ocean

I was originally introduced to Frank Ocean through his work with Odd Future or as I proudly scribbled everywhere, OFWGKTA. Frank Ocean was always the quiet R&B guy from the group that I never thought I would have known much about but early 2013 rolled around all that changed. An old friend of mine had pointed me in the direction of new work by the musician and I ran towards the sound immediately. Frank’s voice is mesmerizing and he mixes sounds in ways I would never expect. His lyrics are dark and deep. This album got me through a lot of mixed emotions I started to experience as I worked my way through my undergrad. Frank understood what it meant to feel and I connected deeply with that. Pink Matter was the soundtrack to my life, I listened to it on repeat doing just about every task I could imagine.

House of Balloons - The Weeknd

I remember Toronto the year that The Weeknd released his first mixtapes. He was just an enigma floating through the city, no one could pin him down. I am one hundred percent one of the people who got their hands on the YouTube videos early and saved them immediately to my accounts. I wanted more and I didn’t know why. He captured a sound that still exists here today, it was dark and full of mystery. As soon as I got my hands on the first mixtape I popped that baby into my iPod and played it so much practically the full album made it to my ‘Top 25 Playlist’ on the device. I am obsessed with The Weeknd’s voice and as someone from Etobicoke, I am even more obsessed with the fact that he’s from Scarborough. He sounds like home to me and I will never be able to let that go. When I play this album (which is at least once every year I’ll have you know), I feel sure about who I am and where I come from. It’s not an explicit attitude to being from Toronto, but rather a feeling that you can carry throughout everything you do. The Weeknd carries that on a world stage and I am proud to say he is a Toronto native. Every song on the album is amazing and I say listen to them all, but do make sure you pay special attention to Loft Music. Nothing spells nightlife in Toronto more than at least one party in a condo or loft by Lake Ontario. I was actually asked to go to a late-night loft party by a random man at a Chinese restaurant one time so I can vouch for this happening in the city. Clearly, Abel knew what he was talking about.

Music is one of the most important things in my life. It is like a fuel I use to keep my motor moving. I find it anywhere and everywhere. I rely on it so much it has been the godsend I didn’t realize I needed during a pandemic. I think I am starting to understand why movies from the 1930s were so much about escapism; drifting off into another world during a difficult time can feel like magic.

What are 10 albums that shaped who you are? Let me know in the comments.

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ddproductionsw77 · 5 years ago

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I Want To Hold Your Hand

Fandom: IT (Muschietti Films)

Pairing(s): Reddie (Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak), casual background Benverly and Stenbrough

Characters: (Major) Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier, (More minor) Mike Hanlon, Beverly Marsh, Ben Hanscom, Bill Denbrough and Stanley Uris

Rating: Honestly… probably my safest T in a while but I guess if language offends you, M

Description: “Fine, what do I want? I want to be your boyfriend. I want to hold you hand, Lennon-McCartney style. I want to take you out on dates and cuddle with you and make out listening to shitty music in your room. I want to tell you you look cute and—“ He was cut off by Eddie throwing himself at him, kissing him hard enough to send him back a step.

Author’s Note: Inspired by an idea of foulwitchqueen on Tumblr of how Richie would have asked Eddie to be his boyfriend. For anyone who isn’t a Beatles fan, the Lennon-McCartney reference is to the Beatles’ song, written by Lennon-McCartney, I Want To Hold Your Hand. It gives me heavy Reddie vibes... like Richie totally listens to it and thinks about how nice it would be to just hold Eddie’s hand.

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Eddie Kaspbrak was on cloud fucking nine.

For the first time he could remember in a while, he was actually grinning as he walked into school. Playing with one of the straps of his backpack, he felt his heart race in anticipation and he barely managed to get to his locker without getting lost. Spinning the combo this way and that nonsensically, he gathered his courage and glanced down the hall.

Several classrooms away, on the other side of the hall was his locker.

Richie Tozier’s locker.

Shaking his head and biting hard at his lip to stop from grinning like an asshole, Eddie turned away and tried to actually recall his combination. He wasn’t at all surprised that Richie wasn’t at school yet. It wasn’t uncommon for his… friend? He guessed? Whatever, it was normal for Richie to come crashing into class with only seconds to spare, sometimes still carrying his battered skateboard under his arm.

He wasn’t worried… He had only seen the boy in question an hour ago after all.

And it had been the best fucking weekend of his life, besides the sixteen hours he’d had to work between Saturday and Sunday, Eddie had hardly left his bedroom.

He felt his face warm, remembering the feeling of Richie’s hand on his cheek and his lips against his, the two of them tangled up of Eddie’s bed. All they’d done all weekend was make out and talk, laughing loudly when Eddie’s mom was at work and quietly when she wasn’t. On Saturday night, Eddie had even told his mom that Richie was spending the night and they’d giggled, setting up a bundle of blankets on his floor for when his mom checked in on them before bed.

Of course, Richie had slipped into bed with him seconds after she’d closed the door. He’d wrapped his arms around the other boy and their lips had met, playful and still exploratory.

He’d gone from spending pretty much ninety percent of his life wanting to kiss Richie Tozier to doing it so much his lips were starting to chap basically overnight and he was not complaining. They’d only bid each other goodbye that morning because Richie couldn’t show up to school in the same clothes he’d had on hanging out with Stan and Bill on Sunday while Eddie was working.

So, yes, it had definitely been the best fucking weekend of his life.

Finally getting his locker open, Eddie reached out and collected his geometry textbook but he couldn’t stop himself from casting one more glance down the hallway.

“Looking for someone?”

Jumping, Eddie nearly dropped his textbook and glared at Mike as he slipped around him, opening his locker right beside Eddie’s, “Jesus, Mike! Don’t scare me like that, asshole!”

Mike quirked an eyebrow, “I yelled at you from down the hall,” He gestured behind Eddie, “Figured you heard me.”

“Oh,” Eddie shifted, turning back to his locker and slamming the door shut, “I— I didn’t hear…”

Mike gave him a look and got his books out, “How was your weekend? You and Richie didn’t come to movie night at Bill’s on Saturday night so I didn’t see you.”

Eddie coughed, looking away and shrugging, “It was fine. I was just, uh, tired from work, you know, so I didn’t go. I have no idea why Richie didn’t show, I mean, besides that he’s a complete tool but, uh… what, uh, did you guys watch?”

Mike turned to look at Eddie, eyebrows drawing together, “Okay, psycho… It was Bill’s turn to pick so what do you think?”

“Silence of the Lambs,” Eddie nodded, eyes darting distractedly over Mike’s shoulder.

Mike looked back too before turning back to Eddie, “Okay, seriously, what is up with you?”

“Me?” Eddie asked, gaze snapping back to Mike’s as he shook his head, “Nothing. Nothing is up with me.”

“Fine,” Mike shook his head, closing his locker, “Well, I’m going to head to Lit but when you decide to tell me what’s up, you know I have free period during fifth. See you later, Eddie!”

Eddie smiled and waved to him, closing his eyes and cursing himself the second Mike’s back was turned. God, could he be anymore fucking obvious? Throwing his head back into his closed locker door once, he stood and sighed, looking down the hallway again.

His heart stopped.

Richie stood at his locker, forcing his skateboard in with one hand and jerking his economics textbook free with the other. As Eddie watched, he dropped the textbook on the ground and haphazardly slammed the locker shut. Smiling to himself and shaking his head, Eddie started toward him to help only to falter in his step halfway there.

Stevie Martin, a not unfortunate looking dark blonde Eddie recognized from his fourth period government class, had bounded up to Richie. She said something to him with a smirk before crouching down, almost getting on her damn knees in front of his —something?— to pick up the textbook. Licking her lips, she stood up slowly and Eddie watched as she let out a big laugh, reaching out and touching Richie’s arm as he laughed as well.

Scoffing, Eddie glanced away and shook his head, feeling like he’d been socked in the gut. All the excitement, all the anticipation he’d felt bubbling up in his chest a moment before was gone and all he felt now was like there was a lump in his throat. Coughing, his mind instantly went back to the weekend, their weekend… Friday night…

You’re not a joke to me… You’re not.

Richie had told him that just two days ago, hadn’t he? Like only forty-eight hours hours ago, right?

Well, maybe he wasn’t a joke to Richie, maybe he wasn’t… but he could also see he wasn’t anything fucking serious either.

Picking up his feet again, Eddie took off toward class, not daring to so much as glance over as he passed Richie and Stevie. If he didn’t think it would make him late, he’d have gone around the entire fucking building just to avoid them, but unfortunately he couldn’t. He didn’t have time to cry or be upset about his own idiocy either.

“Eds! Hey, Eddie!” He heard Richie’s voice calling after him and ducked his head, looking at his white Keds as he picked up his pace, escaping two doors down into his geometry classroom.

_______________________________________________________________________

Richie cocked his head to the side, confusedly watching Eddie slip into his first period class, “Huh…”

“What?” Stevie asked, following his gaze to look over her shoulder.

Richie blinked, having nearly forgotten Stevie’s existence after spotting Eddie, “Uh… Nothing, I just had a question to ask him…”

She nodded, fluffy blonde hair swinging, “So, I was thinking I could drop in on you next time you’re at work,” She shrugged, “My parents are always making me take my little brother to the arcade anyway and I just thought—“

“Sure, I don’t care,” Richie was only half paying attention, “Look, I gotta split. Econ’s like on the other side of the fucking school. Check you later, Stevs.”

Before she could bid him farewell, Richie took off after Eddie, coincidentally the very opposite of the best way to his economics class. Getting to the door, he peeked inside and found Eddie with his head down, bent over his textbook even with a whole minute left before the bell.

“Mr. Tozier?”

Richie looked around to see Ms. Allen giving him a unamused, pursed lip look, arms crossing over her chest, “If I remember correctly, I so very sadly don’t have you this semester.”

Glancing over to Eddie, Richie felt his heart swoop to his feet at meeting his gaze for a fraction of a second before he looked back at Ms. Allen with a mocking smirk, “Wait, this isn’t Econ?”

Ms. Allen narrowed her eyes at him, warningly, “Mr. Tozier…”

“Right,” Richie sighed, pointing over his shoulder and backing out of the room, “My bad. Sorry bout that, Hilary!”

Before Ms. Allen could give him detention, he ducked out of the class and took off down the hall.

A couple hours later, he dropped his chemistry textbook beside Eddie’s and fell into the chair beside the other boy. He’d been waiting for what seemed like forever to be beside him again, talking to him again.

Grinning, he elbowed his best friend, “Hiya, Eddie Spaghetti.”

Eddie’s eyes flickered over to him before returning to his notes open before him, coolly and mildly saying, “Hey.”

It wasn’t exactly the greeting he’d been anticipating… then again, he supposed they had to keep this thing pretty quiet, didn’t they? So, it made sense that Eddie was probably just making sure not to act out of the ordinary, not call attention to the two of them. Still, he couldn’t stop himself from accidentally brushing his arm against Eddie’s in the most casual way possible.

Eddie shot him a look before purposely scooting his chair away, creating a gap between them.

Richie’s eyebrows came together and he was about to ask what the fuck Eddie’s problem was when Mr. Dawson started up, calling the class to attention. Eddie ignored Richie’s every attempt to whisper to him and only acknowledged his existence to flick away the notes that Richie kept trying to pass him.

Sitting back in his seat, Richie glowered. Eddie didn’t even fucking need to pay attention in his damn class. He’d taken it because it counted toward his honors diploma, not because he needed it. He was taking Advanced Chem in the afternoon with Ben; this content was practically elementary to him so why was he acting like he had to scribble down every fucking thing Dawson said?

When the bell rang, Eddie slammed his textbook shut and didn’t even give Richie a chance to talk to him before rushing out of the room.

Seriously, what was his fucking problem, Richie wondered, gathering his things more slowly and lazily. He stuck his pencil behind his ear and froze as a thought suddenly struck him.

Jesus fuck, what if he changed his mind?

Swallowing down his panic, Richie shook his head. No. No, Eddie couldn’t have changed his mind. The universe couldn’t be that fucking twisted. Hell, Eddie was the one who fucking started this whole damn thing anyway, right? Sure, Richie had kissed Eddie first but only after Eddie had said that he liked Richie.

Shit, but what if he meant like a friend?

Uh, yeah, no. He thought back to the whole conversation from Friday night and shook his head, starting toward his next class. Eddie had not meant just like a friend. He’d meant more… he’d said that he more than liked Richie and then they’d spent the better part of two days blowing off their friends to make out and snuggle. So, no. That wasn’t it, couldn’t be it.

At lunch, Eddie didn’t even stand in line with him while he got his food like he usually did and he didn’t sit beside him either. Richie fell into his usual chair, trying to get Eddie’s attention by sulking at him. Eddie pointedly ignored him, sitting between Bill and Mike on the other side of the table.

Bill ran a hand through his hair and looked around, “Anyone w—wanna come over to my house t—tonight? Stan and I are g—gonna st—study.”

“Billiam,” Richie started, sitting back with a sigh, “You know what people really mean when they say ‘study’ right? You sure you want to invite all of us to sit in on that show?”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Stan glowered, taking a drink from his water, “We’re working on the essay I have due for Lit. Mike already said he’d come.”

“Alone with you and Bill,” Richie quirked an eyebrow, “I’m sure he will.”

“Rich,” Beverly shot him a look, “Shut the fuck up.” Sighing, he put his hands up in surrender as the red head turned to her boyfriend, “What do you think, babe?”

Ben shrugged, looking over at Eddie, who hadn’t touched his food yet, “Eddie, you free? We can work on that atomic equation project for AP chem?”

Eddie shrugged, picking up a baby carrot, “Yeah, okay.”

“I’ll come,” Richie broke in suddenly.

The other Losers looked at him questioningly while Eddie finally met his eye only to shoot him an annoyed glower. Still, it was something. Stanley raised his eyebrows, “I thought you didn’t want to ‘sit in on the show’, Trashmouth.”

Richie shrugged, giving Eddie a pointed look back, “Well, everyone else is going so I might as fucking well, too.”

Mike glanced between the two on either side of him and hummed to himself thoughtfully.

_______________________________________________________________________

After school, Eddie drove slowly to Bill’s, taking every detour and long way he could think of. He did not want to see Richie… It was embarrassing and he felt utterly humiliated. He was just so…

He’d wanted it so badly. He’d wanted Richie, wanted them being a them, so badly it had been a constant ache in his chest basically since he was 11 years old. And now he just felt like an idiot for ever thinking anything could really happen between them.

What had he even thought? That they’d be together forever? That he’d be the only person for Richie from now on? That Richie had wanted all the same things he did?

Yeah… he guessed he had but he’d been pretty fucking wrong, hadn’t he?

Maybe Richie did like him but Richie liked a lot of people and a lot of people liked Richie. He was fucking annoying but he was also so funny it made Eddie’s heart skip a beat. And in the last few years he had certainly grown into his looks, making him so handsome Eddie blushed sometimes just looking at him, then again Eddie had always thought he was cute but girls had started noticing as well.

Richie had already had three girlfriends, one of them even being pretty serious. They’d only broken up three months or so ago… what if Richie didn’t want something like that again?

What if he just wanted the making out and the fooling around in Eddie’s room? What if he just wanted the same old friend with just a few new extra benefits?

Because Eddie didn’t think that would be enough for him. Knew, actually, that it wouldn’t be, couldn’t be. Not anymore. Not when he’d tasted something more than that.

Pulling into Bill’s driveway, Eddie was a little surprised he’d actually made it without going off the road seeing as he couldn’t completely remember the drive. Turning his car off, he narrowed his eyes on Bill’s porch and was relieved to see there was no skateboard leaning against the house yet. Richie wasn’t inside.

Eddie got out of the car with his backpack over one shoulder, shoving his keys in his pocket and walking between Mike’s truck and Bill’s Plymouth that Bill, Richie, Mike and Ben had all spent most of the previous summer getting operational. Eddie had been around too but maybe—mostly—because of the way his heart raced watching Richie covered in smudges of grease and oil, eyebrows scrunched in concentration as he worked.

Shaking his head to clear it, Eddie dashed up the steps and knocked twice before going on in.

Bill and Stan were on the couch in the living room, Mike on the floor by the coffee table when Eddie got inside. Bill glanced up and quirked a smiled, “Y—you know you don’t ha—have to knock Eddie.”

“Sorry for being courteous,” Eddie quipped with a half smile, setting himself down beside Mike on the floor and getting out his Advanced chemistry book and starting on the assignment while the others talked about Lit.

“But I don’t get it,” Stanley said, shaking his head and waving his book under Bill’s nose, “It’s one story, one, so why is Ms. Burke have us talk about it’s power as an anthology?”

Bill smiled at him, pushing the book down gently between them, “B—because The Illustrated M-Man is an anth—th—thology, it’s just presented in the f—f—form of a single story.”

Stan stared at his boyfriend for a long moment before looking to Mike, “Did you get that?”

Mike shrugged and jerked his head in Eddie’s direction, “Ask the future valedictorian.”

“You don’t know I’ll get it. Monica Austin is only like a decimal point behind me and we still have three semesters until it’s announced,” Eddie warned, keeping his eyes on his homework.

“Monica Austin has the GPA she does because she takes softball classes,” Stan shook his head, “She’s never taken one step into an AP class or duel credit course. You deserve it. You’ll get it.”

Eddie bit back a smile and quietly highlighted a line from his notes before saying lightly, “It’s an anthology because it’s a series of stories but Bradbury purposefully wrote that all the stories exist in the same universe on the skin of the illustrated man himself. You could interpret it as Bradbury’s way of saying that we carry the stories of the world around with us everywhere we go.”

Stan and Mike stared at him for a moment before ducking simultaneously and scribbling in their notebooks.

A moment later, the door flew open and Eddie instinctually looked up to see Richie walking into the house backwards, arguing with Beverly as Ben followed the two looking exasperated.

“I never fucking said The Wall is better than The Dark Side of the Moon, Beverly, I just fucking said that Comfortably Numb is the best song on either of those albums,” Richie exclaimed.

“Fuck you, Tozier!” Beverly snapped in outrage, “Time is the best song out of everything on those two albums and if you say differently, you’re obviously kidding yourself! Fucking Us And Them is better than Comfortably Numb!”

Mike broke in, calling out to Ben, “Hey, Ben, how are you doing?”

Beverly and Richie quieted and Ben grinned at Mike, “A little better now, actually.”

Spotting Eddie sitting on the carpet, Richie threw himself down next to him and nudged him with his shoulder, “Why you been ignoring me all day, Eds?”

“Don’t call me that, fuckhead,” Eddie looked up at the other Losers, all of which were paying some degree of attention to him, and then glared at Richie, “And I wasn’t. Everything isn’t about you, Trashmouth.”

“Why are people always telling me that?” Richie asked before nudging Eddie again, “Come on, Eddie, I wanna talk to you.”

Shrugging, Eddie said, “Well, I’m going to work with Ben so I can’t—“

“You guys can talk,” Ben supplied after Beverly elbowed him hard in the ribs, “I think I got the first few equations.”

Rolling his eyes, Eddie shrugged, “Fine, whatever, I wanted water anyway.”

He got up and headed for the kitchen, Richie jumping up and following on his heels. Getting into the kitchen, the door slipped closed behind them and Eddie turned around, “What do you wa—“ He was cut off by Richie lips, one of which was still healing from being split open, on his. All his fight seemed to just evaporate and his arms came up out of instinct, slipping around Richie’s neck and pulling the taller boy closer without his brain even giving permission. Some voice in the back of his head was telling him that this was probably a bad idea.

He was mad at Richie, wasn’t he?

And all the others were just one unlocked door away, weren’t they?

But the rest of his entire being wanted nothing more than to just melt into this and it was so fucking hard to fight that craving. He’d missed Richie like oxygen all day, missed doing this with Richie. He hadn’t even let himself brush against the other boy and why? Because his ego was hurt? Was that why he’d been mad? Because he was honestly struggling to remember at the moment.

Richie backed him into the counter of Bill’s kitchen and Eddie felt a small part of reality come back to him. He shouldn’t be doing this… He couldn’t be doing this!

With a small gasp, Eddie dropped his hands to Richie’s chest and pushed him away, choking out, “Are you fucking nuts?”

“Actually, a little bit,” Richie argued, “You wouldn’t fucking talk to me all day!”

Eddie rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, “Oh, please, you seemed prefect happy with that bottle blonde, Stevie Nicks wannabe.”

Richie tried not to but ended up turning away to laugh. Eddie, on the other hand, was not amused, “It’s not fucking funny, Richie! And if you’re into her fine but we have to stop this, whatever this is, now because— Why the fuck are you laughing?”

This just made Richie laugh harder and Eddie reached out to shove him away only for Richie to gently grab his arm and pull him closer, biting his lip until he had contained himself.

Looking down at Eddie, who was glaring at the zipper of Richie’s hoodie, he cleared his throat, “Look, I’m sorry.” He leaned in closer to meet Eddie’s sour gaze, “Eddie, I’m sorry for laughing, you’re right it’s not funny.”

Eddie tried again to push him away but Richie put an arm on either side of him, setting his hands on the counter to keep him in place, “Eds,” He dropped his voice quieter and drew Eddie’s attention begrudgingly back to him, “You’re right it’s not funny.”

Giving up on slipping away, Eddie fell back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest again to try and put some space between them, “What do you want, Richie?”

“I told you, I just want to talk to you—“

“No,” Eddie shook his head, running his hand down his face and looking at the floor, “What do you want? Like, with us? What do you want to happen between us because I don’t want to be just the friend that you fool around with when you’re fucking bored, okay? I’m not going to—”

He was cut off but Richie kissing him again and this time Eddie managed to push him off right away, “Stop fucking doing that! I’m trying to talk to you, like you wanted!”

“But you’re saying shit that’s fucking stupid and I don’t want to hear it so,” Richie shrugged and Eddie looked at him unamused. Sighing, Richie shook his head, “Fine, what do I want? I want to be your boyfriend. I want to hold you hand, Lennon-McCartney style. I want to take you out on dates and cuddle with you and make out listening to shitty music in your room. I want to tell you you look cute and—“ He was cut off by Eddie throwing himself at him, kissing him hard enough to send him back a step. They kissed for a long moment before Eddie pulled away, dropping back down from his tip toes. Richie blinked, “Hey, you told me to stop fucking doing that—“

“I know I did,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie through his eyelashes and nearly sending the other boy into cardiac arrest, “But I couldn’t help myself. You were saying shit that was fucking wonderful and I didn’t think I could hear anymore and not kiss you so,” He shrugged, biting his lip.

Reaching up, Eddie put his hands against the back of Richie’s neck, lightly playing with the feather soft curls right there at the nape, “I want that, too. All of that. I was just… I was scared you didn’t.”

“You had a moment, fine,” Richie smirked and shrugged, “I’ll forgive you. So… You’ll be my boyfriend, then?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, the expression on his face one of utter endearment, “Yes, asshole, now come here.”

Pulling him down, Eddie kissed Richie again, opening his mouth and allowing Richie immediate access to his tongue. His boyfriend groaned, reaching out to grip his hips. His boyfriend, Eddie smiled into the kiss, brushing his teeth over Richie’s un-split lip before pulling away.

Brushing his hands down Richie’s shoulders, Eddie mumbled, “They’ll be wondering what we’re doing.”

“Fucking let them,” Richie muttered, going back in to continue their kiss but Eddie gently placed his hand on his cheek to keep him back.

Reaching down, Eddie grabbed Richie’s hand and lightly kissed it before nodding to the kitchen door, “Come on, Trashmouth.”

Leading the way, Eddie dropped Richie’s hand as they slipped through the door. Taking his seat back on the floor, he shot Richie a half smile when he sat beside him, even closer than before.

“So, Eddie,” Mike asked, calling the boy’s attention, “Where’s that water you were getting?”

Bev, Ben and Bill all fought to hold back their laughter, burying their faces further in their books.

Eddie felt his face grow warm and he looked down at his notes, “I just, uh, forgot, I guess.”

“Well, you were pretty busy with Richie’s tongue halfway down your throat,” Stan stated in monotone, shrugging. That broke the others, sending them into hysterics. “Mazel tov, idiots.”

“How—?” Eddie gaped, looking at Richie who looked confused as well.

“You guys are so f—f—fucking loud!” Bill shook his head, stuttered worsened by his laughter.

Beverly giggled and nodded, “God, we heard like every word! But, I mean, fucking finally!”

“Yeah, congratulations on being the last two to figure out that you two should be dating,” Ben quipped, giving them both a genuine smile.

Mike reached over and clapped Eddie on the back, “I knew something was up this morning!”

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