#but i wanna see that stuff explored all the way - not just in the shallower 'his ex who hurt him wants him back' fantasy

[sneepity-snoop-snorpity-sneep]

I would so love to see explorations of these two's dynamic that don't take any easy outs from canon (lmk established canon w/ jttw canon filling in gaps)

like something i keep thinking about is that moment in s5 when mac breaks swk out of the 100-eyed demon's memory spell. like we know by this point in the show that in a lot of ways swk has moved on from mac while mac absolutely has NOT done the same - probly bcuz while to macaque he's only JUST got out of the diyu from which swk sent him to and is pissed about that ON TOP OF being pissed about their fallout post the brotherhood's failed coup and the mountain time-out, for sun wukong its been literal millenia since he killed his once-best friend and while it does seem like he's deliberately isolated himself, he's just had time to get past those events

BUT in the s5 scene he's just gotten mentally yote back into this nasty memory as if he's killing his friend all over again. And when he's pulled out guess who it is!! the same guy who he was just re-living the killing of!! And just around the time post s4 where mac slowly (and i mean SLOWLY) starts oozing into this grumpy acquaintance-of-the-heroes role, when swk has also started slowly reaching out as well. Talk about open old wounds, yeesh.

SWK and mac BOTH have been through the damn ringer in regards to "made some Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Life Choices and there is a proportional reaping to sowing ratio (*or IS there??), but in very different ways with very different results, so the fact that Mac ended up stuck in the past while also deeply and continuously traumatized and haunted said past whereas Wukong actually experienced growth (nvm how the show likes to keep making him commit the sin of Is Bad At Communication On Purpose) kinda makes a lotta sense to me

like both Mac and Wukong got to experience Mythological Chinese Hellish Tortures - SWK's punishment included stuff like being fed hot + molten metals/stones while under the mountain, which are in fact things that happen to souls in the Diyu - it was literally meant to be a sort of 'hell on earth' deal, which also does a lot to explain why he was so pissed at Mac (either for not helping escape OR for somehow leaving him to be captured, its a lil unclear) when he was down there. BUT!! the biggest difference between SWK's hellish mountain prison time and Mac actually going to Diyu is that SWK was let out on parole, and forced into doing a quest that induced character growth

bit of a tangent! this kinda parallels my thoughts on prison systems and corporeal punishment, and that just punishing wrongdoing and calling it good doesn't actually do anything productive. Like I'm american: all the prison and justice system things i know of are NOT designed to facilitate growth or better behavior or redemption. So this could be some projection but i believe it may still be relevant! anyways

Now granted, souls aren't supposed to stay in Diyu. You're basically supposed to be tortured until your karma from your life and choices re-balances itself (I think - anyone more knowledgeable than me reading this??), and then you get reincarnated. But Macaque never got to the reincarnation stage, LBD interrupted the process. It's not super clear whether she freed Mac after he agreed to her deal, or if she just Yoinked the emo monkey back to life and then said "you owe me now sucka", but either way - Mac has effectively been experience nothing but being tortured, which is NOT the kind of thing that actually makes a person change. Proof? look at Wukong in the early quest chapters of JTTW.

Bro keeps getting kicked out of the posse due to old habits re: violence as problem solving - the 5 phases mountain didn't actually make him want improve or self-reflect, both in lmk and jttw, the promise of freedom and a new life is what got that started for him. Also, its unclear how long Macaque was in the Underworld, which is where I got back to my asterisked thingy from up in the previous paragraphs somewhere (lol this is getting long )

*so I tried looking up how long a stint in the Diyu takes, and it really wasn't clear. I learned that there's a 3-year waiting period before a soul gets judged by the 10 kings, and that souls will be punished until they're deemed fit for redemption, but no estimates or anything on how long specific sins/crimes/wrongdoings tend to take to be rebalanced....but it does seem weird to me that if Macaque was resurrected within a century or so to LMK's beginning that he was still down there, because the pilgrim's journey took place in the Tang dynasty, which was over 1300 years ago.

If we're taking Wukong's prison time as a measuring stick, then Macaque has had a MUCH longer sentence. Was this because he rebelled against Heaven too, actually escaped, AND also tried to sabotage the scripture quest? Unclear!! But given how much all the celestial characters seem to hold SWK's pre-journey past against him in lmk despite this being post-redemption for the Monkey King, and themes in both lmk and the novel about heavenly characters being this sort of inefficient bureaucracy, it wouldn't surprise me if the point of Mac's much longer punishment was deliberate miscarriage of Diyu protocol to either keep the two monkeys separate OR to just keep the number of celestial primates running around no higher than one (1).

although granted, the understanding of the underworld's punishments at the time of the Tang dynasty were preeeeetty heavy-handed and not really just punishments from a modern perspective, so I could be completely off-base with my speculation if a long-ass stay in hell was just the standard for reincarnation in the case of serious sins and there was no ulterior reason why Macaque might've spent the last 1300+ years in Diyu

wrenching back around to my original point, experiencing nothing but THAT won't improve a person, which is presumably why one is supposed to be reincarnated afterwards, not just brought back to life by necromancers. Like I agree with some takes I've seen that Macaque is this villainous, conniving, obsessive schemer, but to me that's a feature, not a bug - it makes sense for this character to be the way he is, and now we get to watch him actually get a growth arc! Which honestly, has gotten off to a pretty good start in some ways.

Like, despite Mac's seeming constant state of low self-esteem coped with by attempts to bring everybody else down to a similar level of angst and thus his aversion to being actually sincere if he can avoid it - he really does seem to wind up caring about MK. Like for a while, even when he can recognize that MK is a 'good kid', he still mostly sees him as an extension of SWK, 'just a bit too much like him'. That perception gets sucker punched out of the way after the Samadhi fire and s3 finale, when MK does for his best friend what, to Mac, Wukong wasn't willing to do, and stays with her. And in s4, although he is still very much still relying on being this ominous, mildly antagonistic guy to the heroes, he's actually trying to genuinely communicate something that matters to him to MK, bcuz MK also matters to him now! ...He just sucks at it xD

s4 finale, he's right there with the rest of the squad trying to get wukong out and sort of being a member of the team (altho he is very much still holding the past against wukong specifically, like he hasn't grown THAT much), and this continues in s5, with him actually going more and more out of his way in this season, and once again deliberately being sincere and open with MK for the kid's benefit. not to mention the almost-hand-holding with Wukong at the end.

and on wukong's end, he seems to be getting slowly dragged out of his isolationist, self-sufficiency keep-your-secrets-close-to-your-chest mindset just by virtue of the fact that he now has folks he cares for a LOT, running around doing plot stuff and he's gotta be *with them* to help and protect them - something which is getting REAL good since it now also includes Macaque, with the LBD arc done with and Mac no longer being an active threat to the good guys. Like he's clearly NOT over whatever went down between them and still salty as the Dead Sea, but once he can feasibly do so, Wukong really seems to start trying mend bridges with his old sworn brothers - remember how DBK showed up to their beach cookout with a matching hawaiian shirt and fishing pole? And how in the s2 special, Wukong goes like "I missed that guy"? He's not at odds with his old friends because he dislikes them and doesn't want them around

Both monkeys want to be able to care about the people they used to be free to care about with no baggage or drama. The whole deal with the two of them in canon seems to be they're molasses-in-winter-ing their way towards being ready to Talk About It because they both still care (in different ways) but just really stink at facing the other monkey specifically, and I can't WAIT to see where they go with this next

What are your thoughts on shadowpeach?

Fandom wise? I do not care for it.

Canon wise? I believe in men committing crimes while forming the most toxic, unhealthy attachments to one person could lead to such a dysfunctional relationship that it, eventually, turns into a functional one. And also they’re trans and aspec.

Disclaimer: this is all my opinion and people can do whatever they want, i simply have my gripes with some of the fandom stuff. this is just me explaining what i like and dislike about shadowpeach.

I think the most common thing people fall into when it comes to ships—or shipping in general—is how to domesticate these two characters without fully addressing their flaws, personalities, behavior, and their overall choices throughout the original media/show they come from. 

Macaque and SWK both suffer equally through this mischaracterization: Macaque is often painted as this shy or “edgy” character with little to no ties to his actual character in canon and, more often than not, he is perceived as this “dad” type of character when, in fact, he should not be allowed near children for I fear he will bully them nonstop until they sit there in the corner feeling disheartened and miserable about themselves; Sun Wukong is often portrayed as this dumb himbo with little-to-no means of understanding social cues, not understanding emotions in a way that’s very frustrating, and be this yearning, pining idiot who’s still longing for his childhood crush when he did not hesitate to punch this guy in the face multiple times throughout the show. So when they are paired up together it’s this weird mash of people believing Macaque is the better dad with more understanding of human behavior and Wukong is his dumb, doting husband who’s doing his best and cannot stand up for himself when confronted about things.

The amount of times people choose to make Macaque sympathetic by having Sun Wukong’s family side with Macaque when it comes to Wukong’s actions/choices is so vast I could not count them all on one hand. The common trope of having Princess Iron Fan (Sun Wukong’s sister-in-law) become Macaque’s sworn sister is so disheartening to see for someone who read through Journey To The West and thought of how silly the overall family dynamic of the Demon Bull Family and Sun Wukong’s troops was. Removing Iron Fan as Sun Wukong’s literal sister just to have someone backup Macaque and sympathize with him is funny and a bit silly. 

That being said… the canon version of Shadowpeach and its possibilities are, in fact, very delicious.

Canon wise this is what we know about Sun Wukong and Macaque’s history together: 

Sun Wukong and Macaque meet

The brotherhood is formed after Azure meets Sun Wukong, Macaque tags along with Wukong (note: Macaque is not addressed as “brother” by the characters, only Wukong is)

Macaque tries to warn Wukong about how dealing with Heaven might be a bad idea

They share a peach under a tree; Wukong reassures Macaque this plan will work

Wukong carries on with Azure’s plan anyway (yes, azure lion’s plan, not wukong’s)

The brotherhood is defeated and Wukong gets trapped under a mountain

Presumably no one comes to visit Wukong, only Macaque

During his final visit, Wukong is angry that Macaque is free and can’t see the fact that Wukong was trying to do everything for them and his kingdom

Macaque snaps back at Wukong and calls him an obsessive demon before leaving

They have another fallout and fight

Wukong ends up killing Macaque in the aftermath

500~ years later, Macaque and Wukong fight again with Wukong being more apathetic towards their reunion than Macaque is

Macaque obsesses over Wukong continuously (coughs)

Macaque is biased in his retellings of his and Wukong’s relationship (see: all of shadowplay and the scrolls memories)

They fight (again) throughout S3

They somewhat reconcile by the end of S4

We will address the fact Sun Wukong was groomed into going to war by this former celestial warrior instead of having it be because of his own want to protect his family and friends after Heaven refused to pay him the respect he wanted when he first joined their ranks later. Right now we focus on the fact that Sun Wukong is canonically a person people easily fall in love with (platonically) and have a tendency to want to stay close to regardless of what his future actions will be like and Macaque is sequentially obsessed with him throughout the show.

“The hero and the warrior were like the Sun and the Moon. Their light, a protective glow, shining upon the world. Together, there was nothing that could stop the two of them. Either in the Celestial Realms or on Earth. As time went on, the hero attained power beyond comprehension. As the hero's light grew, so too did his shadow. And soon, the warrior was cast in that shadow. In the darkness, the warrior was forgotten by the hero.”

Fun fact: Macaque is never going to be on par with Sun Wukong’s power and he works best as support than he does a duo-attacker along side Wukong. Wukong is on his own power level and Macaque, while being able of holding his own against enemies, could be stomped to death by Xiaoijiao is he crossed the line.

Macaque’s obsession with Sun Wukong comes from the inability to move on from the past; Macaque wanting things to go back as they were is a subtle theme going through the show — he keeps latching on to biased memories and avoiding the actual problems that caused their relationship to fall apart and it isn’t until Season 3’s big confrontation with Long Xiaojiao’s Samadhi Fire ritual. He realizes he abandoned Wukong during a time of need and proceeds to flee, abandoning him again. 

Macaque has issues. More often than not people call out on Sun Wukong for abandoning Xiaotian or the Monkie Kid Crew all while ignoring the fact Sun Wukong does not purposefully leave Qi Xiaotian, he tries his hardest to make it back in time and is visibly scared/horrified when LBD attacks in his absence. Sun Wukong tries his hardest to comfort Xiaotian while Macaque tries to torment him. 

Regardless, Sun Wukong and Macaque’s relationship is unique to most media’s portrayal of friends turned enemies. Because Wukong does not see Macaque as a threat up until he teams up with Lady Bone Demon — he is only scary by association, not by anything he has done up until that point. You can tell with the way Wukong mocks him and calls him something akin to a puppet during their interaction in Season 3 when Macaque trapped him and Nezha in the ice. 

And even then Macaque doesn’t even bother trying to engage with Wukong in a friendly manner because kindness is for losers HA i’m not apologizing for anything, bye Sun Wukong, you big old LOSER [proceeds to possibly live on the streets and stay homeless until wukong allows him to return to ffm under certain house rules]

You’ll notice that Sun Wukong barely has any opinions on Macaque.

This is because Macaque is favored by the narrative more than Sun Wukong is so we have very little context as to how Sun Wukong genuinely feels towards Macaque. 

Sun Wukong sees Macaque as an annoyance, a bother, a threat, a coward, an imposter and then, finally, an ally. 

But all we get from that is Wukong handing Macaque a peach-flavored ice cream pop as a parallel to him sharing a peach with his old friend back when they were young monkeys before he was trapped under a mountain for 500 years as a result of his abuser’s power hold on him that forced him to fight heaven as a way to “make the world a better place”. 

We love to see it.

Macaque and Wukong’s relationship goes from mutual interest and a supportive friendship established years prior to the original building of the brotherhood to a very weird, uncategorized type of dynamic. The only way to characterize Sun Wukong’s “affection” towards Macaque is, possibly, the same way most people would characterize Macaque to be towards Wukong. Y’know the slightly judgmental actions and eye rolls and scoffs of affection most people write about Macaque when Wukong does something stupid? Yeah.

“But Macaque said “this guy” when Wukong was presenting his plan to defeat Azure—“ yeah have you considered Wukong does a lot of masking in the presence of the entire Monkie Kid Crew and Macaque has a tendency to present himself as this cool persona when in fact he’s just a homeless monkey who’s been crashing on his ex’s couch for the past weeks since the ending of Season 3? 

“OK…. but why QPR Shadowpeach?”

Sun Wukong throughout the course of Journey to the West and all its past and future iterations have always had him be uninterested in both men and women. There are multiple instances where he’s capable of courting women and he instead backs away or does not pay it any mind; aside from this he’s heavily implied to only care about familial love and friendships. He does not see his pilgrim brothers as anything more than family and he views Tripitaka as a mentor rather than someone whom he was chained to. And Azure was his idol and he was groomed by him, and everyone else was viewed to him as a troop — or, y’know, a family.

This and the fact that— both Sun Wukong and Macaque are over a thousand years old. Why on earth would they have a normal type of relationship? Giving them a checklist of what passes on as romantic and platonic when to them the line is so blurred it’s barely existent to them is amusing. 

Sun Wukong and Macaque having their own weird relationship where it changes from frustrated best friends to partners to angry middle aged demons to the tired traumatized immortals who sometimes cuddle while still beating each other up is so deliciously interesting and unhealthy to the point where it is healthy. 

Also Celestial bodies are not the same as mortal bodies; canonically Sun Wukong has transformed into women before and people have addressed him with female-leaning pronouns before. my personal headcanon of sun wukong being genderfluid lves on and now we can have sapphic shadowpeach with transfem macaque.

also im still feverish so if this doesnt make sense then too bad damn im sorry

[some-pers0n]

Demoman is one of the characters in the fandom I feel most people straight up ignore or don't know how to write. Blunt, sure, but I do stand by it. Demoman is such a fascinating, intriguing character with the most fleshed-out backstories, yet is oftentimes relegated to being Soldier 2.0, only now with poorly written phonetics.

In other words, hey! I'm a fanfic writer who has a ton of opinions as well as a neurotic need to analyze every character they come into contact with. Pleased to see you're reading this. I've already done a little doohickey essay like this with Medic a while back. The purpose of these long rambles is half of me combing through every instance of the character and pulling them apart to see how their character works...and also me not-so-subtly venting and complaining about mischaracterization. Shocking how a fandom where the main characters are all very clear-cut stereotypes with some slight subversions here and there can't seem to get them.

This essay will go through Demo's beginning and all the way to his latest appearance in the 6th comic. I'll touch on how his character shifts and is expanded upon. I doubt he changes as much as Medic has over the years, but I think it will be interesting to see. I'll just go over bits of characterization, try to rationalize it, and then try my best to sum up all of the traits by the end and try to describe his character in the most canon-compliant way.

With that preamble out of the way, let's begin. This is also 7k words btw just...be aware of that, okay?

Before we actually get into proper character stuff, I wanna lay the groundwork first by exploring the types of characterization I see from Demo. Pick them apart. See what they're really like.

So, of course, there's the popular Redditor opinion of Demo that's mainly shaped by the way people play him in the game. There, people will describe Demo as being generally a bumbling drunkard. It's not too uncommon to see people say that he's an angry drunk. A man who is more concerned with alcohol and drinking himself into a stupor than anything else. I've also seen people say that Demo straight up can't read, which...euhhhhggg. He feels more like an alternative version of Soldier at times, which, again, isn't accurate to his character.

I don't care at all for this characterization. I do think a good chunk is rooted in racism and it's generally very uncomfortable for me to look at for too long. This characterization is pretty shallow and empty, which makes for a boring and offensive caricature. Reddit moment.

The second one is more interesting and the version you'll see more on Tumblr. It's this...odd version of him. I can't exactly put my tongue on what is off about it. It seems more accurate to his character. He's a foil for Soldier a lot of the time (Boots n' Bombs is his most popular ship let's be real) and generally isn't exactly seen on his own. Sure yeah there's the oddball art of him and him only, but let's be real most of his tag is mainly just him being in the background or saying a jokey-joke.

I actually fell back into Ao3 for a bit to skim over some fics to see what kind of characterization there was of Demo there to refresh my memory, and some of the common throughlines was shockingly that he doesn't drink a lot. "He rarely drinks!" I remember reading once. That's not right, no. He's an alcoholic. Like that's a core part of his character. Another fic had him being called "Cyclops" as a pet name. Ew. Anywho, other than that it's Demo being pretty into cryptids, having the Eyelander as a buddy guy, etc and etc. It's fun, but also it's missing...something.

Then, it hit me: Demo rarely is seen as an individual. He reminds me of Heavy in that regard, where most of his appearances have him be the straight-man to another character. Most of the time he's secondary and just a folly for the other characters. It's disappointing in that regard. Like you see a lot more stuff for characters like Scout, Medic, etc and etc with their own unique characterization stuff and getting their own attention.

So...then what is Demoman's character, exactly? Well, that's what we're here to see. It'll be pretty interesting, no?

----

So, funny thing is that Demo didn't change nearly as much as Medic has over the years. Sure yeah, the concept art of Demo was more of the generic stereotypical Scotsman. White, ginger, sideburns, that whole thing. Cartoony and fun design, but eventually they went with the Demo we all know and love today.

Looking at the concept art, it all seems pretty standard for the tone that Invasion was going for at the time. Nothing really to note there other than Demo's face being a stock angry grr grr expression. It is interesting to see how the idea of him wearing an eye was a constant even from the beginning though.

This then brings us to the voicelines. Ahh, good ol' characterization. Demo here is characterized as being jovial and having fun. He's throwing out insults left and right, damning them to hell and laughing at them as they die. Usual typical mercenary stuff. This is just personal headcanon material, but I always rationalize the way the mercs act on the battlefield as being a result from adrenaline and generally being drunk on blood. They aren't as mean when off the clock, but it's worth noting that these are how these characters act when a gun's in their hands and they're exploding people left and right.

TF2 really likes basing the characters off of the class they play as and how they act. Scout is fast moving and his gameplay is oftentimes getting right in someone's face and bolting, which is reflective in his hotshot personality. It's only reasonable that Demo is an explosive, fun, and generally cocky guy when out and battling. He's lobbing grenades and sticky bombs left and right. He isn't afraid to yell to the Medic he just blew up that he's been shagging his wife and calling the Scout he just chopped the head off "twinkle-toes". He teases and such when it comes to the other team.

However, the voicelines also very curiously give us a really fascinating look into his character. He's an alcoholic. He loves his scrumpy, which is not whiskey, shockingly. I thought it was whiskey for the longest time, but no! It's a cider! His stock melee is the bottle he uses to drink, now turning it into a quick weapon. His model in the main menu is him holding up the bottle itself. His default melee taunt is him taking a swig from the scrumpy bottle. It's a core part of his identity, let's be real. It's a part of the whole Scottish stereotype he has going on.

The game of course follows this. There's a lot of lines where he's slurring and babbling in a cartoony drunken way. A good portion of it is just him making vague threats...but a lot of it is also sad. He calls himself a one-eyed bloody monster. He weeps and cries. When jeering, he says he's hit rock bottom here. Interesting new development.

Apologizes for pausing to ramble, but I don't get why people try and sand down the edges to Demoman's character by making him out as though he isn't an addict. He is. That's something that is made abundantly clear. The iconography of alcohol follows him like his own damn shadow. I dunno. It bothers me.

I digress. There's some other bonus stuff I think is quite interesting. Most of his battle charges involve the other team. "Let's gettem lads!" and all. I think it's neat how he views his teammates as just that. Teammates. Those he fights alongside with. Another thing of note is how he occasionally has lines that are...odd in a way. Poetic and dramatic. Something that subverts the typical characterization. When he loses at rock paper scissors, there's a chance he'll say "Oh, 'tis a dark day", which. well then okay buddy.

So to recap: for characterization in-game, Demo is an alcoholic Scotsman who is generally pretty witty and functioning despite the incredible amounts of booze he drinks. He is energetic, bombastic, and generally hearty and having fun. He's not taking things terribly seriously and is generally just going about and blowing stuff up. However, there is a very noticeable streak of sadness to his character. When drinking, he reveals undertones of self-deprecation and hatred. Why? How?

...well, you just need to take a gander at his character card.

Erm excuse me what the fuck.

I honestly do not understand the logic behind this backstory. Like in a practical sense. Like, yeah!! obviously this backstory is sad and such! I really actually like this backstory and honestly I love writing him in the context that this happened to him. It's just that...I can't wrap my head around the idea of this being Demo's backstory given that everyone else has pretty silly little blurbs here. I think the darkest it gets is Soldier going to Germany years after WWII ended to kill people.

This??? Sure yeah TF2 gets a lot sillier and more cartoony comedic as time goes on, but even with the current tone where is the funny? I ain't complaining, I love me my angst, but this is so jarring to see. I suppose that explains why they retcon it later, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Hey, at least it gives us an explanation to why Demo is sad. We can pretty easily gleam a reason for his current behaviour in the game from this: his messed up childhood. To begin, Tavish Finnegan DeGroot was abandoned by his parents and left to live in an orphanage. Eventually, he was adopted and brought up by some foster parents, who he then murdered in an attempt to blow up the Loch Ness monster. This was when he was six years old. Actual child. 

He then went back into the orphanage, where he would tinker with bombs. Why? Insert whatever headcanon here, but for me I think it's a feeling of fascination, yet also heavy guilt. Perhaps revenge. Either way, he loses his eye from these experiments. Eventually however, he's brought back into the family when word spreads of his excellence when it comes to manufacturing bombs. The use of the word "lovingly" feels exceptionally sarcastic, but that could be in part to how his parents are later characterized. Either way, this is a result of the DeGroot tradition, which, and I quote, is wholly unnecessary and cruel. It even cites it as him being reintroduced into his family as the "end of his unhappy childhood".

...so yeah. Pretty safe to say the reason for his alcoholism is to cope with that. He feels the guilt over that and will breakdown into sobs over it even. Yikeesss... It can also mean that he feels as though he's held up to incredibly high expectations, having the entire DeGroot family lineage to live up to. Again, later on he's being nagged at for not being as hard-working as his father, who, in good ol' TF2 fashion, blew up the Queen for a nickel. It does certainly feel that way, no?

So this introduces a new wrinkle to Demoman's current characterization: he's an alcoholic who is happy and has an upbeat and fun personality (at least on the battlefield), but underneath it he's hurting and feels ashamed of who he is. He drinks to cope and manage it, yet it only seems to exasperate problems at times.

Can I safely say that Demo is the merc with the most fascinating and intriguing backstory and personality thus far? Sure yeah I love Engie a lot as well, but Demo's character actually feels like it is a result of the backstory written for him. Like all of the other mercs sure you can go on and on about stuff with them, like Scout and Spy and their whole deal, Sniper and his parents, everything with Heavy, etc. Demo?? Right off the bat there's something to chew on in terms of actual character writing.

What an interesting character! I sure hope later installations of the story will follow through on this and give him ample screentime!

Anywho, time for the Meet the Demo video. Again, a departure from the Meet the Medic video and how I rambled on and on about that one, but it was mainly due to MtM being something to mark a drastic shift in Medic's character from serious and angry to more silly and mad scientist-esque. Meet the Demo, due to it being one of the Meet the Team videos made so early on, doesn't really get the benefit of a short with a story, but I digress.

This one is stylized more like an interview, which, in canon, means he's telling this all to The Director and all. It opens with the title screen before the horns section seep in, cutting to a clip of Demo running while explosions go off behind him. A freeze frame cut before a voice-over of Demo comes on with the iconic line "What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be here discussing it with you, now would I!?"

Okay so just more confirmation and all of Demo's personality in-game. According to his bio, he has a short temper and all, which could explain him getting louder when asked that question. I don't think it's a joke or him exaggerating, since he seems genuinely pretty upset by the suggestion. He would have to be good at his job in order to be telling you this, yeah? Why even bother asking? It's an interesting bit of characterization that somewhat expands on that short temper.

More generic footage of him running about while explosions go off before coming back to the interview of him explaining a bomb in its simplest form. "One crossed wire, a wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablewie!!" Seems like filler dialogue, but I always like taking note of the fact he uses the chemical compound term as opposed to something more colloquial. It's just headcanons, but I really enjoy thinking that Demo is pretty damn smart and really gifted when it comes to making bombs and general chemistry. It's a clear passion and love of his and I like touching on it when I can.

The next couple seconds are shots between him taking a good swig of his scrumpy and then blowing up a level three sentry. It's just showing off his capabilities as a class. Nothing special (other than being cool and showing he's competent at his job). The real interesting part is his breakdown where he's on the verge of tears, exasperatingly telling the camera that he's...off. He knows it. There's not too many black Scotsmen, especially ones with a busted eye. "They've got more fucking sea monsters in the great Loch Ness than they got the likes of me" he says.

But, he perks up! He talks over a clip of him baiting a group of BLU mercs into a sticky trap. The voiceover is also really fascinating here. The way Demo talks reminds me something out of an Aesop fable. It's a very curious and fascinating way of talking. I wish this bit of characterization stuck around since it's pretty fun. "Come and get me I say! I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the ol' brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable...with an unhappy bloody end!" is really cool.

The video ends with him taunting the mangled corpses followed by a rendition of the main theme with bagpipes. I should probably also mention Drunken Pipe Bomb, his theme song. It's an upbeat and fun piece with a mixture of the typical TF2 sounds (funky jazzy drums and bass guitar) as well as a Celtic flair, what with bagpipes, whistles, etc and etc. There's also a kickass surf rock section. It's quite the battle theme and definitely reflects a lot of Demo's character as being an energetic, explosive type of character who is proud of his Scottish roots.

So that's pretty much it for SFM bits for now. How about we take a step back and look at the first-ever actual TF2 comic: WAR!, where Demo really gets a big break for his characterization. We don't care about the Saxton Hale or Jarate ones. WAR! my beloved...

But first, the actual WAR! update. It was the sixth major content update released back in 2009. Remember when this game got actual content updates? Me neither. The update was based around the rivalry between the RED Demo and the BLU Soldier to excuse why they were adding new items for the both of them, with Soldier in the end winning the little contest and getting the Gunboats.

For canon lore, the update serves to introduce the idea that the RED Demo and BLU Soldier had a comradery at first. Friends! Interesting piece of characterization to have Demo explicitly go against RED and become friends with Soldier. The two of them do bounce off of each other quite well when they're paired up, I will say. They're both heavy-hitters in terms of gameplay and their personalities are quite loud at times.

For added voicelines, there's a bunch of the Administrator denouncing their friendship as well as domination lines for both Solly and Demo whenever they kill each other. Demo pretends he hates Soldier, but asks if he's okay, tells him that he loves him, and generally is like "but we're still friends though, aye? :]" He does care a lot about their friendship, which is pretty sweet and cute. Sure hope that lasts.

In the WAR! comic, we see Demo in a mansion. He's loaded! It's also confirmation that the mercs are given quite a lot of money, but apparently not enough for Demo's mother. She's nagging him about not working and saying that he should be ashamed for being so lazy, to which he rebuttals, saying he has three jobs and has made millions annually. Apparently not enough for his mother, since Demo's father worked twenty-six jobs.

She also brings up an interesting piece of information. "No demoman worth his sulfur ever had an eye in his head past thirty!" which implies that missing an eye is a family tradition to lose your eyes when working this job. Would this also imply that Demo is not thirty by this point, since he still has the one eye? Eh, whatever. 

Demo taking care of his mom in this old, nagging state is pretty neat characterization, as well as him holding down two other jobs besides mercenary work for RED. He's very capable and talented! He's also extremely caring and sweet. Even when his mum is complaining and griping about him not living up to his father, he gets her tea and takes care of her. He does respond with a lot of "I know mum" when it comes to that. He's heard it all before. She keeps saying the same stuff. I like thinking he knows fully well he can't live up to the extreme work ethic his father had or truly impress his parents and is pretty bummed out about it, but that's just headcanons.

Anywho, Pauling's there. She's there because the Administrator wants to break up the friendship between Demo and the BLU Soldier and instead have them be pitted against each other. While Soldier needs to be tricked and insulted by Demo and told that he's a civilian (something that he hates apparently), Demo is more coerced and convinced.

He's still loyal to their friendship, but, aye, there's something different about that sword there. Here's an interesting bit of characterization: Demo being a sword guy. There's a lot of medieval stuff relating to Demo, what with DeGroot's Keep, the Eyelander, his general way of speaking at times, etc and etc. It's fun and I think he takes great interest in medieval-period stuff, but, again, headcanons.

Demo feels conflicted. How could she make him choose between his best friend and this cool ass sword?? He doesn't give an answer, but Miss Pauling further pushes him to choose violence when leaving even more stuff for him as well as telling him that Soldier said that he'll join the fight. It's then assumed that Demo agrees by that point.

It's interesting to compare and contrast Demo and Soldier. Soldier, despite hearing all of these mean things, still wants to be friends with Demo. It's until "Demo" calls him a civilian, something personal and sensitive to him, is when he decides to betray him. Demo meanwhile is more swayed by things that he loves, but the final push is that betrayal. He only acts when he's finally told that their friendship has been severed. Curious how their loyalty is strong in those ways.

...I should probably sometime mention the actual retconning of his backstory however. Hoouhhh boy let's go. So, for the 2011 Halloween update, there was a comic alongside it. This comic had some cute gags, like Heavy giving a little boy he scared seven grand. However, the main attraction is the rewritten backstory for Demo.

I mentioned earlier, but I honestly can't blame them for maybe trying another crack at a Demo backstory that isn't as bleak and miserable. I do really like the original one because I'm a sucker for angst, but this backstory does work a lot better tonally when you're just trying to write some goofy stuff, especially if it involves Merasmus at some point.

The story retcons the whole thing and seemingly makes it so that Demo has always been with his parents and the reason he lost his eye was not because of some brutal accident but rather a currrseeee ooohhhh spookyyy. He's hired by Merasmus to sweep up the place a bit, with him being exceptionally clear to young Tav to not touch any of the accursed tomes. He does, of course. Nothing too much in terms of characterization. It's more just saying "Hey Demo's eye is cursed and that's why he lost it but! hey! it comes back once every Halloween!!"

Again, I can't really knock this version of events. They're simple, but goofy and fun. It's all up to whatever you're trying to accomplish with Demo methinks. If you want silly and whimsical stories, you can have that backstory. If you want gut-wrenching angst, probably should take the initial one.

Aanndd that's virtually it for Demo being important. Demo doesn't get too much plot relevance later on. He's just kinda done with. He shows up in Expiration Date for a quick gag where he returns with a bunch of beer, shouting and cheering while being unaware of how they all just learned they're going to die in three days. He then shows up again during the bucket scene and doesn't do much other than mouthing somethin' (I can't tell you want tbh). A new thing is that he plays piano! That's fun! He then kinda watches Scout try and ask out Pauling and he yells for him to describe what she looks like, which is just what Demo currently sees her as (drunk, blurry, etc). He then fights in the big battle yada yada and shows up at the end with the beer again.

The MVM trailer I suppose is a thing to be noted. Here, he's a BLU Soldier and is playing cards with the Soldier of the same team. Seems like regardless of teams, there's some sort of bond between the two of them. All that happens is that Demo is down to bust up robots with the rest of the RED mercs. Pretty much it.

It is quite unfortunate to see Demo relegated to a role so passive in the story and comics. I've mentioned it before, but I do have an ever so slight grudge against Soldier for taking up the majority of the screentime when it comes to the comics. Yeah, he's really fun to write about, I can't blame the writers for doing so, but also like...c'mon... In the end, we're left with a good chunk of the mercs being underdeveloped in exchange for a ton of Soldier trivia. Props if you like Solly though; your fave got the best treatment.

Ah, but still! Demo has some moments in the comics! Let's go through them! 

Uh. Upon checking most of the comics before the mainline ones, it appears he does not say even a single word. Or even show up in a good portion. Well that's disappointing. I thought he at least said like...one thing. The most he does in terms of characterization is put on a crown in A Fate Worse Than Chess, and even then that's just a silly cosmetic. Damn.

It's fine though! Because now we have the mainline comics! Hot damn finally some actual casual Demoman TF2 writing! Let's get a look and see what his normal usual personality is like! I wonder what fun shenanigans he's been up to.

The first time we see Demo he's babbling about his job being replaced by robots and looking utterly dishevelled and depressed.

Okay. That's...yeah pretty in line for his character thus far. An alcoholic who is struggling with some stuff and oftentimes will have a very vocal breakdown in front of others.

The way that he's characterized here is rather fascinating though, I'll say. He's depressed. From what we can glean, this is what his life has been like since the layoffs. He's gained weight (what with Soldier's very blunt "Hello fat Demoman!"), hasn't shaved, his clothes are dirty, and beer bottles are scattered in the living room. Even the Eyelander is like "dude you need to let it go" when Demo mumbles about robots replacing jobs. He's presumably lost his two other jobs and has just been laying on this couch, drinking booze and watching TV and nothing more, despite his mum's nagging.

This is a side of Demo we don't really see. Sure, yeah, we see the hot and tempered side (ex: Meet the Demoman and the general game) as well as the sad and weepy side, but it's never to this degree. Like full on depressive episode. Yikes. Sure yeah he gets dragged back into the plot and instantly gets back to himself (albeit more orange than actually black)(I keep forgetting how whitewashed Demo was in these first few comics), but it's played for laughs and gags.

What an interesting piece of characterization, no? I've seen a fair amount of major depressive disorder, BPD, PTSD, and or bipolar headcanons slapped onto Demo and tbh I can't blame them. I'd be really interested to see some fic explore that in greater detail. I'm too busy writing Engiemedic yaoi to do anything for now though. Womp womp.

The ending bit of the comic has Demo and Pauling mainly chat with each other. Oh yeah!! Demo and Pauling! They've got a couple pretty neat lines. For the usual contract it's just jokes about his alcoholism, his eye, and a couple about his mom and just general gags. In the Tough Break update, she's out drinking with Demo and nearly spills the beans about her job. Fun. I really like the Miss Pauling characterization where she regularly hangs out with the mercs. It's cute.

In the comics, she talks to Demo more like an actual equal than, say, Pyro or Soldier. She talks to them like they're children roughhousing in the backseat. Demo sits up front and the two go back and forth. Demo is the more mature and reasonable one here. Another thing that's a common bit of characterization in the comics is that Demo isn't...drunk. He's not slurring nor acting in a way that makes it immediately clear he's inebriated. He's pretty lucid. This can be from the fact that he's a very high-functioning alcoholic, but it also makes him out to be actually pretty all-there for most of the time. I've seen far too many fics where Demo is in a perpetual state of shitface drunk so that was a nice refresher.

Demo reappears in the second comic, where we get some pretty neat characterization. He's out on the town in disguise. I keep forgetting about that "What do you see?" "Not a damn thing. Let's switch places" gag that's so funny. Whatever. He is the voice of reason when it comes to Soldier. The straight-man character. He's not really...drunk here. He's not slurring his words nor is he exactly doing anything. He steps in front when Soldier starts yelling at an elderly woman, instead approaching her with a calm and kind demeanour. He holds Soldier back when he goes to strangle Scout for. I guess just being there.

So there's Demo when he's just doing stuff normally, I suppose. He's generally pretty level-headed, albeit because he's up there with Soldier. He's the Normal One when posed next to a guy like Solly. A little disappointing, but there's probably more in comic 4.

Ah the Swordvan comic. Demo and Pauling head over to Sniper's house to retrieve him. An odd bit of characterization is that Demo just takes one look at Snipes' house and goes "Welp, nobody's here. Let's get out". He doesn't seem terribly thrilled to be here, further backed up by him saying that there's just gonna be fingernails and jars of piss and he straight up says "good riddance" like what is his issue with the bushman??

Now that's kinda interesting. Demo sees Snipes as being kinda just gross and a raving lunatic. He could easily be in-place for the audience and just saying what we're thinking, but I think it's interesting to see that Demo, the guy often portrayed as being the weirdo party guy, being very straight-forward. He think Sniper is some sadistic madman and just wants out. Unfortunately, he's given a neckfull of Sniper's homemade family moonshine, so he can't get out quite yet.

A very common thing in these comics it seems is Demo being the voice of reason, which is pretty interesting. The straight man to everyone. When he wakes up to Pauling spitting on him to wake him up, he goes "eughhh gross, but, hey, it worked!!" before then is knocked out. He then stays quiet for the rest of the scene, unless of course you're counting the deleted pages. There's no dialogue, but Demo breaks free from the ropes binding him, yells at Sniper, then pushes past before then inserting three syringes-worth of the moonshine into himself and passing out. Alcoholism joke as per usual. Shockingly the first one we've gotten so far.

In the submarine ride down, Demo's passed out with his scrumpy in hand. Again just a gag about him drinking a lot. He then kinda stays in the background for the rest of the comic, only appearing really once to hold a vat of liquor, before then coming to in the final shot where he holds Sniper's dead body. Heyyyy Demo I thought you thought Sniper was a weirdo freak.

Nothing too much to say from this comic then. It's just establishing more and more that Demo plays a very...straight-man character role when it comes to the comics at least. He's reasonable, level-headed, and often just says whatever comes to mind. He's kind and will instantly rush to someone's aid when they're hurt as well as just generally being pretty good-hearted. Nice!

Comic 5 mainly just features a gag with Demo's liver being so overworked that he starts turning his other organs into alcohol distilleries. The whimsy. The line that I find most fascinating from this comic is from Spy.

Like oh okay so he straight up doesn't eat anything other than alcohol and aspirin. Water literally poisons him. Probably just a throwaway gag, but geez. It does say that he is kinda in pain all the time, at least to the point where aspirin is one of the few things his body can handle. Someone out there can probably work with that and make it angsty. Other than that, not much else for Demo.

Comic 6! The final one! Home stretch here folks before I can wrap this up and give a thesis on whatever the heck Demo's character is. Demo, again, is mainly just here for gags. It's the one thing I do really wish that the comics did more: explore Demo's backstory. Like you don't even need to keep the original one, but it's still fascinating to bring up the fact he has a family lineage at all. Instead, he's mainly just a straight-man character. But, hey, whatever. I'm just the one analyzing these silly comics and jokey joke characters for gay melodramatic yaoi fanfiction.

There's a gag about Demo's liver coming back to him after leaving. These soap opera drama scene could parallel the type of shows that he was watching when having that depressive episode, but that's maybe a bit of a stretch. He then gets included in that fun group shot, where his pose mimics that from the Meet the Demo, before then gets a one-on-one scene with Medic. 

These two are such a fun duo I wish Jaggerbombs was a more common pairing. Ah well. Medic catches Demo up on everything whilst he's stitching up wounds. The medi-gun is broken so they're doing this the old-fashioned way. Demo has a gag where he's still drinking, only that it's hydrogen peroxide instead. This then leads to a scene where Demo asks why Medic never gave him an eye. Reasonable methinks. Medic responds saying he did.

Demo gets upset. He raises his voice for the first (official) time in the comics. Again, his temperament. I think it's a reasonable thing to be upset about tbh. Like imagine being told after all this time you could've had your eye back. He then learns that, no, the procedure has been done before, but rather that it never sticks because of how his eye socket is cursed. Demo asks how he can't remember this, to which Medic goes "Hooh :] It's because I scooped out a part of your brain" because of course he did. He then forgets the entire conversation + probably Medic entirely.

Aaannnddd that's pretty much it for Demo. That's his last speaking role. Just a quick, simple gag about his eye being cursed, his alcoholism, and generally being the straight-man for others, even if he does have a couple silly gags too. Seems like a culmination of everything he is in the comics.

To conclude: Demo is a character I feel can take on two main roles depending on what kind of tone you're going for. If you want angst, you've got a character who carries the guilt of murdering his foster parents as well as the burden of being a DeGroot, turning to alcohol to cope with his sadness and general inability to deal with it all. If you want silly goofy stuff, you have Demo being a straight-man or a neat party guy if you like the bit from Expiration Date where he brings back beer and such. Of course there's nuance. I find it best to try and find a balance between these two opposing sides. It just takes time and practice to really get a hold of his personality methinks.

I do wish he was more in the comics though as his own person, y'know? He's very reliant on others in order for his character to function, whilst most others have scenes where it's just them doing something. I wish he was used more than being the guy who drags the others back to reality. Damn it sucks to see that the fics where he's mainly just the straight-man are kinda right in that regard.

But for character traits? Hm, let's see. I find it's just trying to make sense of what's given to you and seeing what best fits for the tone of story you're trying to go for. However, for me trying to write him? Well...

His alcoholism is a central character trait. He is definitely 100% an alcoholic, regardless of however people try and sand him down. I personally really like sticking to the idea that he straight up can't eat anything but booze and aspirin because I think it's funny but also sad, but that's me. I think him having a flask of scrumpy on his person at all times is a neat headcanon as well.

Another big trait with Demo is his frequently shifting mood when drunk. He can swing from loud to weeping in a couple moments. I wouldn't say he's particularly angry nor aggressive, no more than any other character at least. He's most volatile on the battlefield, but otherwise at the base I feel it wouldn't be an uncommon sight to see Demo partying until dawn or holed up in the living room and sobbing. Poor guy.

In spite of what many think, Demo is certainly not lazy. He's a workaholic is anything. He holds down three jobs and rakes in a lot of money in order to live up to his name as a DeGroot. It could be because he likes working that much or that his mother just nags him to push himself that far. That also ties into his self-deprecation, another core trait of his, but that's pretty obvious to see.

His heart is another big trait. The guy loves. He cares for his mother even when she nags at him. He sticks by Soldier's side until he feels as though he's been betrayed. He takes care of the Eyelander and treats it like a pal. He generally cares a whole heck of a lot about people and other things. He wears his heart on his sleeve and says what he means. He doesn't feel a need to really hide who he is as a person. He's loud, fun, and just naturally pretty sweet and kind. I don't think he's ever really "mean" outside of the game stuff. There's also the whole "being hired to explode people" part but ehhh that's just the silliness in him :]

Demo also being generally pretty...normalish. He's a guy who's really just going through it when you take the angst option. He oftentimes will try and hold back others from doing something stupid when sober. I feel like when he's drunk he's more willing to get in on dumb shit, but still. However, this doesn't mean he's wholly a normal person. I think you can do a lot of headcanons here where you bring out some traits that are otherwise not talked about too much.

There are a lot of liberties to be taken with Demo's character as per usual. A ton of writing a character to be, well, in-character is just getting down their voice and mannerisms. Understanding their personality and motives is just half the battle. Demo sometimes speaks like an old-timey medieval knight or poet or whatever. He's generally pretty well-spoken and whatever. For the love of god if you want to write him, you don't need to include phonetics constantly. Please. It's so much better that tu'try toh spell everay whurd like tis. Oftentimes people will just know what the character sounds like regardless. Just try and mimic his way of speaking more and you'll do wonders for actually making that character sound like, well, that character.

I've neglected to mention Demo being a black man a lot because, well, it never really pops up a lot in canon. I think the most recognition we get for Demo being black is him just saying that he's black. He's a black Scotsman and that's about it. It's curious since I've seen a number of fics where it's all period-typical racism angst and whatever, with Demo being used as a way for the author to get up and proudly say that they think that racism is bad by having Demo being called a slur and getting upset. How progressive. 

I dunno. I never really personally touch on period-typical bigotry stuff myself due to the fact that this is Team Fortress 2. Rocket jumping was invented before stairs. Besides, this is the late 60s/early 70s. The civil rights movement happened by this point. Not everyone walking the streets is gonna be some abrasive bigot. I don't know why people want to try and make it "historically accurate" to begin with since this series has never been period-accurate to begin with. I don't particularly think TF2 is a great series to go on about tackling period-typical bigotry either. Literally if you want Demo angst you've got the actual mountain load of angst with his backstory right there. Obviously of course people are allowed to write what they want and I do fully believe that sharing stories and portraying bigotry is important, but why with TF2??? Do people just really look at a POC and think their existence is inherently political and they need to make it clear they think Racism Bad, even though the tone of canon really doesn't match that?? Ah well. I'm just rambling.

Regardless, Demo is just a character where you can take a lot of different avenues with. Maybe you can explore his trauma and try and write about how he feels trying to live up to his family name. What about his issues with his now-deceased father? Maybe you can forgo that and have him be a partner in crime to Solly or whomever else, with the occasional glimpse into his more sensitive self. Really, it all just depends on the story you're trying to tell. Ultimately, writing Demo with a healthy mix of comedy and angst is probably what is best done if you just want a pretty in-character version. He can be out on some grand adventure to take down Nessie with a merc or two AND have it be a story about him coming to terms with his past. That's just a me thing though lol.

Demo, like the rest of the cast, is an easily moldable piece of clay. All of the mercs at their very core are just funny character archetypes. They can be whatever you want them to be. It's just best to work with their original characterization and personality in mind, y'know? Fanfic writing is mainly about having fun anyway.

Speaking of which, enough procrastinating for me. I need to get back to writing my yaoi...

[liquidstar]

wait speaking of getting isekia'd via truck, a couple weeks back me and a friend on were talking abt portal fantasy/isekai tropes (mostly bc i was infodumping abt rz again), and it made me think abt a fun concept for an ocverse. tho its possible similar things have been done obvs with just how inflated the genre is, just hear me out OK

story starts in the normal world, with a typical Nerdy Guy going about his daily life, expositing about how he feels bored and longs for adventure and magic, just like in all of his favorite media. as he's crossing the street, distracted by his mobile game, he doesn't notice The Truck(tm) coming straight towards him. except he's not hit by it- he's pushed out of the way in the last second, saved by a passing girl who gets hit in his place. this is who the story is about now.

mc gets sent to that sort of intermediary dimension that some isekai have, where she meets the Goddess Lady or whatever that was in charge of the whole isekai situation. goddess lady proceeds to freak out, because she nabbed the wrong person, and she's going to be in SO MUCH TROUBLE. she starts questioning the mc, only to find out that this kid has a good social life, does well in school, is in sports, and has barely ever played a video game. basically the opposite of the socially introverted, underachieving, repressed, genre-aware guy she was supposed to have reincarnated. for the sake of fulfilling somekinda hero prophesy or whatever. and the mc kinda bargains to be sent to the fantasy world anyway bc, well, its that or death i guess. so the two of them kinda have to team up to course-correct this mix-up.

mc is kinda given a list of tasks to do that basically mirror how a typical story like this Would Go, expected to fall in line with the tropes in order to achieve the ultimate goal, but kinda ends up failing at all of them... or not? failing backwards, maybe. doing it in a way different from how its meant to go- using the wrong formula, but somehow getting the right solution. while sort of continuing to question the insanity of the whole situation, and the nature of this whole fantasy world. just fucking up all the tropes.

but a layer i'd wanna add on top of all that is the fact that the hero prophesy (or whatever) called for a man. so upon arriving to this new world, the mc is basically put into a "gender swapped" body and... doesnt seem to mind. this isnt an uncommon isekai trope either, but i hardly see it tackled with much care to really explore whole Gender Thing beyond gags about the "mismatch" (which can be in poor taste) or the conclusion that "well because their Body is now this gender, their gender identity changes to match" which i feel is a pretty shallow and binary take-away to draw abt bodies and identity.

but i think there can be more to explore w the prospect if you actually wanna get into gender stuff. in this case, i'd particularly wanna get into the idea of imposter syndrome. the main character was not MEANT to be... the main character. seen as a phony fighting tooth and nail to meet expectations, and constantly fumbling. not a real hero, or a real man. but its meant to be an act anyway, so why does that bother her? it was like that back on earth too, trying as hard as possible to be the perfect girl. a good social life, does well in school, is in sports.... but that good girl thing always felt fake too. or desperate. what was she trying to prove? how long as this BEEN bothering her, actually? why does it feel easier to breathe in this body, despite everything? the way this whole act makes her happy is scary, because its fake isn't it? but wait, which part was fake? the before or after? is it all fake? isn't this all just a mistake?

was it really a mistake? who is more heroic; a guy too focused on a mobile game to pay attention to those around him, or the person who risked their life to save a stranger? but the hero prophesy was for a "man," right? what does that even mean?

[tastesoftamriel]

I'm sure you're entirely sick of talking about this bc that initial anon was... dumb as hell and I too would like to forget about it if I were you lol, so feel free to ignore this ask!! but I just wanted to throw in my two cents as a fellow non-white non-American fantasy writer. cause fantasy as a genre is so insanely whitewashed, and even in settings like TES that have multiple different fantasy-cultures that are meant to draw inspiration from lots of different real-world-cultures, they tend to be shallow and lacking and let's be real, TES isn't getting any awards for being politically correct. I for one always get insanely hyped when I see more diverse takes on fantasy, whether thats in original fiction or fanfiction, cause 1) it just vastly improves the quality of the world building and 2) it creates more welcoming spaces for other bipoc to create more cool stuff. and also, it's just fun as hell to project your own culture into dope fantasy settings. I do it all the time and I fuckin love when other people do it.

I feel like that anon was just looking for a fight and intentionally trying to interpret your comment in the most bad faith way possible (classic tesblr behavior ngl). and like I get it, orientalism sucks ass, but I've followed you for a couple years now and I've only ever known you to be a super chill, super respectful person who (like I said before) creates a welcoming space for other bipoc in the fandom.

tldr: anon is a clown, representation is fun, your blog slaps

❤ from @reachfolk

Yes yes YES I could hug you! Inclusivity and breaking away from whitewashed fantasy is one of my main goals with this blog! My recipes and worldbuilding have me neck deep in exploring global cuisine and culture, but as soon as it's a picture then people go off about cultural insensitivity. Because reading comprehension is low here so most people barely glance at the worldbuilding posts.

Growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, as far as Asian actors in Hollywood went, you had Lucy Liu and Jackie Chan. There was that show about Imperial Chinese cats called Sagwa (傻瓜 shagua literally means "dumb melon" which is what you call a certified idiot). Mulan (forever my favourite). Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon? But that's it. Seeing Michelle Yeoh winning everything recently makes me feel proud to be Asian. I cried when I saw Over the Moon.

If just ONE person looks at this blog and goes "cool, I learned something" or "cool, my culture is being recognised and represented as a form of inspiration", then I have done something right. Other Chinese/East Asian people in the past have applauded me for bucking the western "Asian" stereotype, simply because I express my love for my culture differently.

I'm no less Chinese for being fluent in English (which is actually my mother tongue btw thanks colonialism), or being a goth, or an author who happens to be atrocious at math. I just am. And I want everyone to just be too. To embrace their otherness, to rejoice in the diversity of the human experience, and to learn to live together. And most of all, I wanna see more awareness in writing (especially fantasy) about non-Global North cultures and the people who represent them. I'm sick of being a media cliché.

If you're a POC and you're looking for your sign to delve into fantasy worldbuilding, this is it. Go write. Create. Destroy. Build the world you've always wanted to see through the lens of your heritage, use your history as a lesson, use your language as a weapon. ~Tal

[michisunoshudan]

Alright, time to talk about your Kisuke. I love the fact that you do not focus on those shallow misconceptions about him ( this perverted humor of his for instance ) and you concentrate on the core of his character. You have definitely added your own flare and it's always beautiful to see with all of your muses. Yes, he is incredibly smart, unpredictable, and so much more but you do not focus on the surface of such stuff but rather, you dive deep into such aspects and it's beautiful to see. Also, our thread is one of my favourite threads not even gonna lie and I definitely look forward to have more interactions with you :>

what is ONE THING you like about the way i play my character?

you're so incredibly sweet for sending this in after you already made me cry (/lh) from your message about mayuri too, but again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!! kisuke's genuinely been my number one guy for so long (technically kakashi from naruto was first chronologically, but kisuke's had the strongest staying power in terms of characters who have stuck with me the hardest). he means a lot to me as a character, and while i've long-shipped him with my oc, i always try to make sure my analyses of him aren't just connected to that dynamic- i wanna make sure i'm doing my best in analyzing him as he exists in the text, and given how much subtext there is both in the actual story but also from a religious/cultural standpoint, i feel like i'm never really done exploring his potential! i adore our thread, i love getting to see these two interact given their shared history in a way that we never got to see in canon, and i can't wait to see where it goes!!

[heartscrypt]

hhi. stray cat has returned. and i am in dire need of knowledge. what do the leech twins think about cyrus. im not sure if this was expanded on but i need 2 know

SO GLAD U ASKED STRAY CAT ANON!!!! ive been thinkin bout it lotsss. hehehehe

CANON CHARACTER THOUGHTS ON CYRUS: LEECH TWINS EDITION

"Eeeh? Nishikigoi-chan? Ahaha~ he's funny! It's annoying when she gets all fussy, though. He doesn't know when to quit when I tell him I don't wanna do stuff. Ugh... for a shallow lil' pond fishie, she can be so pushy..."

"Why're you even asking what I think about Floyd, smallfry? Haaah.. guess I got nothing better to do but answer you. He's entertaining, I guess, when he's not being a dead weight. Hm hm hm~ I like how he bites back. Too many Octavinelle fry walk around with no spine, you know, so it's nice to see someone in the dorm with guts."

okay so first up. floyd. floyd and cyrus are really similar actually. in terms of like. Priorities (aka they both have none and just do whatever the fuck they want). cyrus only hangs around people that entertain her because she craves constant stimuli like. all the time. and floyd def fits that bill so. they enable each other to do things that will eventually make azuls hair fall out from stress probably.

doesn't mean they're always on the best terms though. when floyd's mood swings he finds cyrus annoying and in turn cyrus finds Him to be a drag when he's not hyperactive. they are very much fair weather friends. when they can stand to be around each other, they are collectively a menace to society. when they can't stand to be around each other, they are.... still menaces to society but in a much different way.

"Oh, you've encountered Cyrus-san. It seems he enjoys toying with his food.. ahem, that is to say-- he's quite the playful person, isn't he? Heheh. It's a shame that she refuses to join the Mountain Lovers club ... He does seem to enjoy the anecdotes from my trips, but I haven't yet been able to convince him to come enjoy the beauty of nature with me. Oh, but it'll happen one day. I'm sure."

"Hm? What am I drinking? Wouldn't you like to know... aw, darling fry, don't look so spooked. It's only something Jade brewed up for me. Ahaha! Oh, your face looks so stupid all scrunched up like that. Of course I don't know what Jade's put in this. That's the exciting bit, you know. ... Though if he's put a paralyzing agent in this one again, I'll pour herbicide in his new terrarium, and he knows it. Paralysis is so last week."

secondly. jade. honestly, cyrus prefers jade's company over floyd's. they have tea together because cyrus is pretty much the only person who will listen to jade talk about mountains and mushrooms. as someone who likes to explore herself. he does get bored if jade starts going into too much detail about the natural wonder of the mountains or whatever. also not a big fan of hiking like jade is so she refuses to go on hikes w jade. he'd rather sit n listen to the other tell stories.

... also cyrus is the only one willing to try jades mushroom concoctions as Long as jade disguises the taste of it. because as weird as it is she's a huge thrillseeker who can't stand a moment feeling bored and if jade wants to Mildly poison her it's better than. idk. Not being poisoned and sitting still with nothing to do.

[watatsumiis]

different anon btw but just out of curiosity (tone clarification: not judgemental just pursuing info in like a bit of an analysis/contemplation/seeking differing opinions way) have you done either of e!'s story quests? and if so was it just confusing, or you didn't like them for some other reason?

(if it's too much effort to elaborate of course no pressure, but id be interested to hear your thoughts! & don't worry about being too harsh, she's my blorbo but i agree the inazuma arc kind of made light of a lot of war stuff and felt a little shallow, and a lot of people i know didn't like her at all bc of that)

~🍓 (signing off with an emoji in case this turns into a conversation later)

Before I go into this, I just wanna say thanks again for approaching this in such a genuine and calm way, I sat and thought about this on and off since I got it and it's kind of made me step back and look at how I consume media (especially in this game) and the kinds of characters that I tend to enjoy.

I have done both of her story quests, but as with a lot of the pacing in the story quests, I found it pretty confusing and hard to follow, with heavy dialogue and exposition that I struggled to retain. I'm sure she as a character is extremely nuanced and interesting, I just struggle to feel anything more than disdain for her after seeing how her actions affected the entirety of Inazuma and the people she was supposed to be protecting.

I'm sure I could be convinced into liking her (as is the case with most characters that I 'dislike') or at least tolerating her, but the way the information was presented to me in canon felt a little ham-fisted, and I struggled to parse it all when it was just kind of tossed at me in a jumbled pile like that.

I think some of the ways this game handles really heavy topics seems to be almost... dismissive, at times. I understand that it's a game that's supposed to be marketed towards a broad audience and there are some concessions that need to be made to keep a smooth gameplay experience. This isn't a knock at the writers at all, just an observation. These huge events seem to happen in canon story and they seem to be dropped soon after apart from a few hints and side mentions, and I wish it was explored more?

Sorry that's kind of offtopic, but going back to the character at hand, there's just something about the rules she enforced and the things she let happen that just... yucks me out a bit. (again this is nothing against anyone who does happen to like her! This is all personal opinion and meant to be very lighthearted) I feel like they're trying to write all the Archons as 'good guys', but with E! it feels ...viscerally wrong, everyone seems to forgive her very quickly and have no hard feelings about what she put her nation through, even if that wasn't what she'd directly intended to do. I think if there had been some kind of main story scene where she really acknowledged the harm she caused and admitted her wrongdoing to her citizens id be a little more ambivalent towards her, but i genuinely cant remember a scene like that (though please correct me if im wrong).

The way her character lines refer to some others, too, kind of icks me out. Especially when it comes to Kokomi, who she still seems to be intending to discipline in some manner, and acts as if allowing the people of Watatsumi Island to worship their god is some gracious and generous act of kindness that she's doing as opposed to the basic human right of believing what you want - something about that especially sits pretty badly with me.

[sloppyspecimen]

Upon deliberation I have realized it's most the hard dom stuff that's lame and cringe. It's a very severe trying to hard and not actually doing the stuff you speak about energy that makes it off-putting I think. Soft dom stuff is fine it's easy to do and not as ehhghhh. like "I just wanna make a good boy feel so good. I'd start off slow and tease them for a while, gently caressing their thighs and lower back, exploring and finding all their sensitive spots, and pushing them a little, making them squirm and make such cute little whining noises. Just making such a cute little thing whine and squirm, making sure they know they're doing such a good job and they're so cute when they let go. Eventually slowly creeping my hand down and pressing on their crotch a bit, watching and listening to them until they start to breathe shallow and their eyes are all over the place... Making such a good boy so desperate that you can see them ask for it behind their glazed over eyes. Making sure they know how well they're taking such nice sensations all over their cute sensitive bodies, and that it's ok if they get a little noisy and can't handle themselves anymore. Eventually making them so desperate they just have to be beg to be satisfied, loosening them up so nicely and shoving my cock slowly and deeply inside their hole, feeling me in them, so warm and tight, slowly pushing deeper and faster and giving them exactly what they need, they got so desperate to take me that I'm doing them a favour, they just need to cum from taking all the way so badly and they've been so good and so cute that they deserve it! Yeah such a good boy deserves to feel a big fat cock all the way inside, they need it! I'm just being so nice by satisfying their cute little desperate needs and breeding them until they cum so hard they convulse, it's the nice thing to do for a good boy!!" is much less deeply unserious and lame than "I wanna ram my big fat cylinder into some pathetic useless mutts hole and growl in their ear while they take it like a deranged animal and can't handle it anymore, making a mess all over my big fat member and crying and whimpering and going woofwoof woof". DEEPLY UNSERIOUS. DEEPLY

(sorry the first part part got a bit long I was inspired lol and felt like writing, whatever)

contrary to my posts I am not a full on sub and love domming and sticking my dick in people but I feel like most doms and domposting online is kind of fucking cringe and lame. idk it's just very discord kitten vibes a lot of the time which is why I don't indulge in it. engaging in bottom/sub behaviour publically is more fun i think. like wowee here's another lame dick pick and talking about choking my kitten or whatever idk its lame and boring man.

[asstrolo]

explaining the moon signs; i didn’t even remember i made this lol 

(if you wanna know your moon sign do your chart on astro.com , it’s the most accurate!)

moon in aries: the childlike, their responses are rushed by their emotions and their emotions change drastically, incredible creative and talented, aggressive in both bad and good ways; they have initiative, they love so much and are unconditionally supportive of their loved ones, they usually have a really good style and look good even in the most casual outfits, it’s because they love so much they tend to stay in toxic relationships, depending on what other signs are on their charts, they tend to leave those situations to focus on themselves, after all the most important person is themselves, it can make them as much of a narcissist as it can make them self-sufficient and natural born leaders, they need to look more around them or they’ll get lost in their reflection

moon in taurus: a natural caretaker, the friend to call when you want to relax, they have a homey presence, they might have a calming voice or a more quiet way of approaching, they are materialistic, they cannot help but want to protect things they worked so hard to buy, as one would except they can be very possessive in their relationships of any kind, they might even treat their partners as objects that hey want to protect and take care of, they are very patient, not more than a sun in taurus, but as a sun in taurus they can get really defensive out of nowhere, feel hurted by things for no reason and make a big deal about it, but only in private, for they want to look completely different in public, as a Venus dominant, they like to be gracious and classy, seem calm and collected, one of the flaws they have is to be really lazy, they have certain routines and they like to follow them, they can get caught up in money, they need to learn to not be so dependable of material objects as if that’ll show that their life is good

moon in gemini: the crazy genius, a revolutionary person, an inspiring, independent being, ones that people look up to, or so they’d like to think, this moon lives in a constant state of delusion between their projects and how quickly they move from anything, it’s hard for them to keep a promise because they’re always changing, most of the time they don’t even realize they’re  doing it, they like books, more so, they like to know things, even more, they like to know everything, they are completely drawn by their morals and idea of the world, even if idealistic and naive, they follow them, it’s really difficult for them to look at the mirror and define one thing, they like to keep an open mind in everything, but they tend to think they know better, think they’re superior, better, more interesting, they want the smartest friends, but not smarter than them, they tend to copy other’s people personalities if they admire them (just like gemini risings) they don’t realize about this either, they need to speak their mind all the time, if they don’t, they feel really restricted and imprisoned, they won’t like that, so they run off, they like gossips, they need to learn to think before they speak and to stop interrupting people when they talk 

moon in cancer: the sentimentalist, here the sign is in it’s original planet, that is good, with that said, they are dramatic people, they feel every emotion, people with this moon need to write down their feelings or else they’ll feel very suffocated by them, they’re empaths, they put themselves in others shoes, they have a way with words because they’re so good at naming all their emotions, they tend to dramatize situations, they live in the past, for them is really difficult to let go of things, specially people, because they know they remember everything and the memories always haunt them, as anyone would expect they know how to take care of people, they have a strong intuition that tells them if a person needs help, they like being at home a lot, they like sleeping even more, it’s very common for them to not sleep at night because they feel very attracted to the moon and their creativity is better at night, they might really like painting and music, these people, even if they’re extroverted, might feel overwhelmed by people, because they feel people’s energies very deeply and need to recharge from time to time, they need to learn to not look for someone to save or save them and do that for themselves instead   

moon in leo: the performer, they live in a movie, in the stage, they tend to dramatize their responses and their emotions towards everything even if it does not involve them, they pull off a good part on being the positive friend even when sad, they see things from a very self-centered way, meaning they only see their own point of view, always tries to understand their loved ones emotions by putting themselves in their shoes, that’s why they always talk about personal experience, because that is their way of empathizing with others, some of these tend to stay in unhealthy situations for the sake of not being disliked by the other person, they like to be liked more than anything, as any other fire moon, they hold a lot of creativity that needs to be constantly explored for them to feel better, these moon signs tend to put a façade of innocence a lot, they can victimize and not even realize it, might even cry out of exhaustion for their own emotions, if encountered by someone who is prettier in looks they might get defensive and jealous, but they won’t say it, they’ll be passive-aggressive towards it, they are constantly looking for artistic ways or words to cheer their friends up, because they’re so fond of all of their relationships and are so transparent with them, they want that back, these people are naturally good at anything for arts, specially acting, they can see other’s emotions and act them out, however these people need to learn to be more self-aware and to not get defensive when it comes to criticism 

moon in virgo: a helping micromanager, these people are very self-disciplined, mature and resilient, as much as the are neurotic, and nihilistic and go through dozens of existencial crisis, they tend to be very cold, because their way of showing love comes from being helpful in tasks rather than in emotional support, they question everything, all the time, they question themselves and they question the universe, can appear paranoid about certain stuff, like the leo moon, they like to perform, put on a mask, make it seem like they have everything in control, when put in a lot of stress they might run off, they like to be seen when they feel like it, have a very Hermit way of living for those around them, they enjoy their time alone because that’s when they allow their minds to be at peace, but even there they’re overthinking, this moon is one of those that might have a simple and calm way of living, but in their minds there’s always chaos, always thinking about what comes next, how to make something better, how to go faster, smarter, how to improve social skills while still maintain their alone time sacred to them, because they never rest mentally, they are prone to anxiety, to not see the good things that life has to offer to them if they just stopped over analyzing things around them, they are very good friends, because they think the definitive show of affection is helping their loved ones to organize their life is because they take care of people, and they like doing so, might get taken advantage of this, they’re really, really smart and sharp, they know how to use their words and can manipulate a situation if they’re willing to, if they think it requires that, they like their own space without changes and usually keep things the same for a very long time, they need to learn to let go of things they cannot control and to give time to themselves

moon in libra: the mediator, people with this moon tend to be shallow, victimize themselves and hypocrites, they’re usually torn between who they are and who they want to be, and who they pretend to be most of the times, gemini moons get the reputation of being “two-faced” but in honesty, libra moons might as well fight for that tittle too, they’re not the most ambitious moon sign, they look into superficial things to be happy, friendships are very important to them, might keep a toxic friend or a toxic ex as friends because they do not know how to say no, they might have strong opinions of injustice that they brought up depending on the person, if it’s a friend or someone they want to impress that have different views these might not say anything, just let it pass, but if they don’t care about the person’s acceptance then they will show their points of view, no matter how different from others it is, these cannot keep a secret for too long, like any other air sign, likes to gossip to, they do have an open mind, they like to see a situation from all angles before making a serious statement, but halfway through it they might change their mind again, reconsidering things, that is why people sees them as hypocrites, also the fact that they can’t keep their promises, they’re not good at that, have an eye for aesthetically pleasing things, their friends might even ask them for advice on decor, they need to learn to make up their mind and not speak too quickly before setting something, and to own up to their mistakes 

moon in scorpio: the secretive feeler, a dark enigma, the moon in scorpio it’s very intense, because it’s in detriment here, that makes it even harder for these individuals to talk about their feelings without getting frustrated or a little bit uncomfortable, they are so cautious and secretive about everything they do, not only their feelings, as anyone would have guessed, they are very protective of their own personal space, it takes them so much to trust someone that they might regret having done so, they get easily offended, never have their guard down and can become really self-destructive, sabotage themselves, they have a very enigmatic aura that they might not even know about, they like spirituality, they’re very drawn to those type of things, can become very controlling of people around them and micromanage their loved ones without realizing it, they have very demanding presences, they can be as charming as they can be scary, people with this moon can appear sometimes an earth sign even if they don't have anything of that in their chart, they're also very intuitive people but it's hard for them to follow that intuition, it can appear very strongly around strangers, they might know what kind of person they're dealing with only by looking at them, they also like to keep on check about everything their loved ones are doing, ask them how they are, might come off as kinda clingy, but they like to know how people around them are doing and see if they can be of help for them, they’re good at twisting other peoples words and they know how to manipulate, for good or bad intentions, they need to let their guards down and accept help from others, not everything is black and white.

moon in sagittarius: the eternal kid at heart, they are ambitious but lose interest as soon as they're not passionate about it anymore, they are deep thinkers but can be very on their own beliefs, it's because they are so passionate about these beliefs and ideas that they can come off as stubborn, they are so pure, like a kid, and like a kid this moon might have moments of feeling very misunderstood, some of them wear their hearts on their sleeve and can actually be super honest, without even realizing, they like questioning everything as well as standing up for what they think it's right, as any other fire moon, these people are creative, they are very positive people, they light up a whole room just for how they are and how they present themselves, however, they crave love and affection, can be too into their own ways and get easily frustrated if others don't have the same idealistic thoughts as them, their ideas are important to them that it's why they can come off as delusional or "hitting on a dead horse" when it comes to these, they need to learn to be more patient and to listen to others opinions before forming one of their own, just based off of what they've seen, they don't know or don't want to be held accountable for the damages they might have done, that's why they are irresponsible at times, these kind of people were meant to inspire others, they just have a way of making you feel passionate about their work and what they like, however they need to learn to not just jump the gut, take a step back and think the situations a little bit more, don't be so stubborn and accept other points of view.

moon in capricorn: a fatherless figure, this might come off too strong, or ironic since they're seen as a parental figure in the zodiac most of the time, this moon can have trouble directly with the family, since childhood, actually, they just don't have a very normal family life unlike all of their friends, they attract people a lot of the times without not doing anything, they tend to be very laid-back and chill when you first meet them or have this aura of tranquility, like any other earth moon, they're very sarcastic and good at reading people, they're witty and can be very funny at times, even if they have a lot of friends these moon signs often feel very lonely, that's just how they are, their emotions are very contradictory all the time, since this moon is in detriment here all of the emotions are to be avoided or bottle up, they are very helpful, selfless people because they know what it's like to feel misunderstood at first hand, they wouldn't want anybody to feel that way, they can be malicious or manipulative, like a cancer moon, thinking it's for a greater good, they don't see themselves in a good light, this moon often has what it's called the impostor syndrome, they think they're not deserve of what they have or what they want to have, they need to learn to be more self-confident and follow their heart more than their minds all the time, let go of past childhood trauma to live without any baggage.

moon in aquarius: the misunderstood artist, these people are ought to be different and unique and one of a kind, and they are, they truly are, but this uniqueness they try so hard to keep might isolate them from others, this moon it's pioneer of great, creative ideas only an aquarius moon would have, they're so refreshing and they just get you, aside from the conspiracies and the aliens they're so very smart, but they don't posses that emotional intelligence they'd like to have, as figures these people can come off as too cold, detached from the world and a lone wolf, they like doing things on their own but when it comes to having time for yourself and completely isolating yourself they don't know how to draw the line, the way they view the world to themselves it's "the right way", think very highly of themselves or their way of thinking, might be a very cynical person, but they're very humanitarian as well, as a Libra moon, they do not tolerate injustice and are not afraid to talk and make a change, these people usually make a huge change in others environments, even without realizing it, as great and unique as they are, they need to learn to talk more to people, not think they're alone or that nobody gets them, they need to connect with their emotions and only then they'll see a real change from within.

moon in pisces: The "feeling all the feelings", this moon is authentically one of the most difficult to deal with, alongside Capricorn and Scorpio, if so they are very connected to their emotions, they might be too connected to them, this kind of people are highly sensitive and deal with a lot of the feels all the time, they like art, something related to music most likely and have a special connection with water, they come off as oblivious, and they most likely are, but they're also very wise, they just don't know yet how to balance both things, people might see them as a person who's not too much but not too little, they're very reserved and like their privacy, very ambiguous personality in general, one might wonder what they think about all the time, tendency to hide or escape from anxious or tense situations, they need peace, they might avoid conflict to a unhealthy degree where they don't speak up just to not cause a dispute, deals with low self-esteem or one that's changing a lot, they confuse themselves because their minds are confusing and there's a lot going on at once, they do victimize a lot, they might or might not have a distorted way of seeing or thinking, while they have a big heart and are good people, they can come off as very victimizing people, manipulate you into petty them so you would do something for them, some acknowledge this, some don't, if they find a healthy way of dealing with their emotions they can not only help themselves but people around them too, after all they are big empaths, they have a special way to talk and connect with people, they need to learn to not victimize themselves every time they feel pressure and to control a little bit more their emotions

[mariproducer]

Miraculous Ladybug really has a major problem of giving the illusion that things are progressing. Like they'll do things to make it seem like the show status quo is changing only for in the long run, not a lot of things change.

The heroes get power ups? Barely uses them.

A bunch of Miraculous Heroes are choosen? The show doesn't even bother exploring these new heroes having to struggle balancing a double life like Adrien and Marinette nor do we see them form bonds with their kwamis (seriously, having the heroes be temporary is frankly dumb since you think you would want as many heroes as possible given how many Akuma attacks there are).

Alya learns that Marinette is Ladybug? it changes thing slightly but not enough to have a lasting impact (and makes moments such as Alya falling for Lila lies at the end of season 4 even more fustrating).

Adrien learns that Nino, his best friend is Carapace? Nothing is done with that.

And that's not even getting started on the snail pace progression of the love square.

Very long ask so I'll be hiding my reply under the cut so this isn't too much to scroll by

Yeah, most development in mlb is either walked back on, forgotten, or purposefully ignored. And it's not like this is some sort of intentional in-universe reason to show character regression. It's moreso the show trying to force specific narratives, even if it doesn't line up with where the characters should be, knowledge and development-wise.

For example, an episode like Animaestro, with its plot of Marinette teaming up with Chloe to sabotage Kagami, shouldn't have occurred after an episode like Frozer, where Marinette decides to put aside her feelings to help Adrien on his date with Kagami. Or another example where specific characters are left out of plotlines because the knowledge they hold could break their desired narrative into pieces (absence of Alya and Su-han in Kuro Neko, absence of Viperion in Strike Back).

Miraculous Ladybug is... well pardon the pun... miraculously amazing at acting like things are changing, that there's drama, that there's stakes. But you look at the show in its entirety and all its really been doing is going around the same circle. The LS still can't move past shallow affection, no progress has been made towards finding the villain (despite the fact that they HAVE information that could easily lead them to the villains identity) and he's only become more powerful, any other character that isn't the main duo or HM eventually find themselves getting screwed over writing-wise for the Love Square. (Though the main duo and HM are screwed over in that department too, it's just more painful with the rest of the cast)

If the cast of this show was ALLOWED to change and grow, to not be puppeteered into specific instances that don't line up what we previously have seen of them, then yes I'd believe there is development in this show. But there's none; you're right in calling it an illusion, because any possible development, even the SMIDGES of it, are eventually erased, as though it was imaginary to begin with. And somehow people eat that up, probably because this show just gives you nothing that you'll take the scraps. That's just sad 😮‍💨

As an aside: I always HATED the temporary hero rule. For me, it was one of the greatest upholders of this status quo yo bs mlb is stuck in. Because, since they're not permanent, they can only exist for a fleeting moment, and then continue on not affecting the plot. I get it I get that this show is gonna be Ladybug and Chat Noir, but maybe don't introduce the idea of other heroes if you wanna be oh so focused on your main two heroes. Then again, I personally wish there was a third permanent hero (the Alya stuff in s4 was poorly executed it could've been neater in an earlier season, not after s3 where she devolved to only shill for the LS) because it would've been a neat way to shake up the status quo in the long run and not be walked back on.

[zevranunderstander]

i dont really wanna start beef w this but the companions from dragon age inqusition are all so shallow in how they are written tbh?

like. in dao you had characters like zevran, who never expresses his real thoughts and emotions and who you could read as a completely diffrent person if you didn't put actual effort in getting to know him and who has so much complexity to him and his own relationship to his past is *so* interesting to explore. or anders, who slowly develops from a person who wants to help and do good into a deeply resentful and bitter representation of vengeance who sees no other way out than to commit a brutal act of terrorism. or alistair, who is almost a complete inversion of the "rightful heir returns home" trope, who is nothing like you imagine him to be when you first meet him. or isabela, who lies to you from the moment you first meet her and who starts to regret what she did and actually trust you enough to put her life in your hands.

i could go on forever with this, actually, but in the first two games, almost every companion has a very insteresting depth to them that makes them a fully diffrent person than you might expect them to be

and in inquisition, all characters feel lowkey shallow in comparison? first of all, almost nothing the characters do ties into the main story? the stories in dao and da2 would be fundamentally different without your companions, especially da2 is almost entirely character-driven. and the character quests in dai are literally just random, plot un-related stuff. like. its cool that blackwall was a grey warden or that the iron bull secretly is a spy, i guess, but what does it add to the plot of the game? what made it so cool that isabela and anders were lying to you was how *you* suffered their consequences. what they did didn't just tie into the main plot, *you* were associated with them and *you* had to deal with the fallout of their actions. and it's like, cool that blackwall has this dark past but there are no stakes for you in this. why *wouldn't* you sympathize with him and forgive him? the game tries to paint these moments as "*gasp* you lied to me!", but really, this is nothing like the betrayal you feel when isabela basically hands you out to the qunari and runs away and you have to work this out with her

and there is so little to discover about the dai companions, too? like, i think the only character i really like in dai is vivienne, because she is the only character that has some depth to her you can explore. i still don't think vivienne can hold up to most characters in older games, but she actually has motives and if you get to know her, you actually change your opinion of her a bit and while her character quest also has zero impact on the main plot, she still made sense to me as a character and didn't feel completely one-dimensional.

im mainly making this post, because dai was my first dragon age game and i found a lot of old fanart recently and back then i *really* liked dorian. and that got me thinking for a moment because now, like 5 years later, i don't really give a shit about dorian anymore? like, i played dao and da2 after dai and there is so little to his character. his whole plot basically revolves around him being gay, his only character traits actually seem to be that he's a genius mage and, more importantly, that he's gay.

and like, his character almost feels regressive to how sexuality wasn't even a topic in romance in dao and *especially* in da2? and dai almost post-adds homophobia and coversion therapy into a series that didn't really need to have a homophobia problem, just to be like "see? we're being deep and serious right here!", and his story is, like all character quests, very predictable and very generic? and aside from that, there isn't that much to learn about him. most of his other dialogue is either sassy disses of other characters or lore dumps about tevinter that aren't all that related to him

this also brings me to my next point. you don't have an actual group dynamic? like, yeah you can sometimes *ask* a character what he thinks of another character but there isn't much interaction between the companions? like, yeah, some characters are friends/like each other, like sera and blackwall or dorian and the iron bull, but? like, you don't really intiutively know what cassandra thinks of vivienne or what blackwall thinks of dorian or if they have ever even been in the same room or spoken to each other.

da2 obviously excels at the whole group dynamic writing, but also dao (which was way less character driven than da2) put a lot of effort in the dynamic characters had. like, banter in dao usually was used to show how 2 characters interacted with each other, like zevran's and wynne's interactions being about them trying to make eachother incredibly uncomfortable, or alistair and morrigan berating each other - it gave you a very clear idea of what it might be like when you all sit by the campfire and talk. you know stuff like that alistair doesn't trust zevran, that leliana tries to be friends with morrigan, that ohgren feels like wynne is looking down at him, etc. there is very little like that happening in inquisition and banter often is just one continuous joke, like vivienne and dorian making fun of solas' clothing and demeanor or sera making silly jokes to everyone she talks to and somehow you feel like these people just dont talk to each other at all when you aren't around.

say what you want about some characters in da2 hating each other for 10 years straight and still being in the same friend group but when you went to do a quest for merrill, she would be chilling with isabela or anders and varric would be playing cards or your family was up to some shit again, but it felt like all of these people would actually regularly hang out with each other? and in dai these people all live in the same fucking castle and you see them being away from their standart spot maybe once? there is one scene where they all play cards together but tbh for me it did the opposite of what the game wanted me to feel in that moment because i was confornted with "wait, dorian and blackwall really exist in the same world and in the same building? sera and leliana exist in the same game?"

like this game sucks at writing characters and tbh im bitter and i have actually zero hopes for dragon age dreadwolf bc dai feels like a cheap copy of the other two games that really is frustratingly mediocre in every way. like, there is really no aspect of inquisition that it actually excels at or a thing it does better than the older games and dreadwolf seems to want to go in the same direction like dai with the plot being suddenly all about solas and the end of the world and. tbh. i don't think they will pull this off in a way that won't genuinely frustrate me

[lais-a-ramos]

#sorry to jump in but YES

no need to apologize, your addition is perfect!!!!!

in my meta, i tried focusing more on why the show isn't doing a #girlboss thing and it makes no sense to treat laura lee or any other character as a "villain" in case they felt conflicted and stuff 😅

but i wanna say that i loved your addition and i agree 100% with everything you said

especially this part:

"i can't see the laura lee that dies in s1 participating in a hunt, or letting javi drown. but, like op said, a lot happens to them during winter that changes people. a laura lee that ate jackie, that helped shauna through agonising hours of labor only to lose the baby, that aimlessly searched for crystals body, that watched shauna nearly beat lottie to death, that is watching her loved ones slowly starve to death? that would be a very different laura lee. not to mention the glimpse we get of her inner steel - it is laura lee that strips coach ben of his power before her flight. "

you really had surgical precision on this one.

i'm usually the first one to complain about mischaracterization and stuff, but the thing is that the characters who survived in 90s timeline up until season 2 have gone thru all of these traumatic events and have changed because of them, and it makes no sense to affirm that laura lee couldn't change as well

same goes for jackie, who is also someone i've seen being thrown around in these discussions as well

the, let's say, secret for writing metas or headcanons or fics about these characters who died earlier in the show to try to identify their main internal issues and dilemmas and try to build upon that, imagining plausible ways for them to react to these changes based on said internal issues

and the truth is laura lee already had many issues way before the 2025 flight plane crash, including issues about her faith

that's something we can see in her flashback on episode 1x08, "flight of the bumblebee"

she is shown in pool scene with an apathetic and detached look in her face before she jumps in the shallow side of the pool, indicating that she did that on purpose to try to take her own life or as another form of self-harm to feel something

not only that, but she seemed very misplaced amongst all those happy kids, indicating that, inspite loving her faith and Christ, she felt disconnected from the people at church

those scenes on episode 1x08 serve to show the audience why laura lee was so certain that flying the cessna and saving her friends was her purpose, bc it's relatively common for ppl who escaped death to search for a reason why they survived

so, really, if she survived the cessna plane crash or didn't fly for any reason, and ended up going thru all the stuff that happened post-1x08, there's no reason to believe that laura lee wouldn't change as a person

she's a human too, and no human would come out of these things unchanged

also, as jane widdop has said in the interview i always cite as THE laura lee interview, the one for the yellowjackets buzz podcast, laura lee is also very impulsive

so, really, that is a perfect storm for a faith crisis of sorts, which could have many different consequences, especially those that you mentioned above

the problem is that this fandom has a tendency to flanderize the characters, to pick just 1 or 2 traits and make these traits the characters' entire personalities

and, specifically about laura lee, there's also another thing, something that deserves its own post because there's so much to unpack here: the way people tend to treat laura lee as if she wasn't a 17-18 year-old girl like the others just because she is a devout Christian, which is very sexist, since it underestimates her based on stereotypes

so, ppl end up not seeing how complex she is as a character and the potential for all the things that could have been explored in the show if laura lee didn't die in season 1

since the whole discourse on whether laura lee would engage in cannibalism and stuff was brought back again, here's my two cents ig

listen, i understand thar ppl have different interpretations and that is a consequence of art reaching out to different people and different audiences

and there are definitely many heads to analyze in this discussion, like psychological aspects as how laura lee's suicidality in pool scene was a fuel for her religious fervor and the need for a purpose and how this could develop in the wilderness had she survived

but now i wanna talk specifically about how ppl seem to see lottie and, by extension, the other girls, when they bring out this argument to affirm that laura lee wouldn't engage in the cannibalism

it's definetely a bit bizarre that ppl talk about the topic, especially when it's about laura lee and lottie, as if lottie herself was #1 enthusiast of ritual cannibalism right from the start

many ppl seem to straight up forget that lottie was absolutely horrified when she found out via misty that the others killed javi and that they started a hunt in her name which resulted in said killing

(actually, that's probably one of the main reasons why she passed the "crown" to nat, bc she thought nat's moral integrity would be able to keep the others in check -- tho, it's safe to say based on pit girl scene that this idea didn't work at all)

there is a huge difference between the teen lottie who was horrified with the circumstances of javi's death and the one who participated in the pit girl feast, as much as there is a huge difference between that brutal lottie and adult lottie

this show is all about the proccess, the ways in which these girls made those choices

so, as by the end of season 2, we can't say that lottie has reached the point of pit girl scene yet, even if she did commit an atrocity at doomcoming along with the other girls -- the sexual assault and attempt to murder travis

what is more concearning tho, i guess, is ppl framing the brutality of the girls as if it was only a positive thing, and if laura lee or jackie or any other felt conflicted feelings about those things then it means they would be in the wrong

listen, i'm the first one to defend the idea that the wilderness allows these people to set themselves free from social conventions and that includes social structures like racism or LGBTQ-phobia or misogyny

but, again, what ppl miss is that one key word: NUANCE

the showrunners have mentioned a few times, including on that vulture fest panel last year, that the wilderness is some type of double-edged sword, it brings that freedom but also cost these characters a lot

and when ppl act as if doomcoming or other of these moments as purely some "girl power" type of moment, they are missing the entire point of the show

the show isn't trying to be a girlboss moment or witchy, especially bc, if so, then that would be sort of very disrespectful towards actual real life practitioners of Wiccanism and Neopagan religions by associating them with something that might be evil or, in the case of the supernatural not being real in the show, dismissing it as insanity

what yellowjackets is trying to do with that fictional belief system that has no correspondence in the real world is a discussion that crosses different fields like anthropology, philosophy, history, psychology etc, which is trying to understand how faith and belief work

and what makes this show able to attract ppl as different as practicing Christians, Jewish ppl, agnostics, atheists, Neopagans etc is that it never treats ppl as foolish for being believers or non-believers, these characters are just treated as complex human beings dealing with extreme survival circumstances and just trying to navigate life

another important point the show is trying to make is about the violence

bc there is this long discussion, which in Western civilization we can trace back to the 16th century philosophers and perhaps even further, on whether the human nature is purely violent or not, and that is something that's become a theme in the very same intellectual fields i mentioned above -- anthropology, philosophy, history, psychology etc

the most famous example, especially when we consider these survival stories or any story that turns "lord of the flies" in a trope, is 17th century english philosopher thomas hobbes with his idea that, roughly summarized, human beings were so leveled in the state before the creation of organized societies and governments etc (a state that is called "state-of-nature" in the philosophy studies) that they could never be free of the fear that other would do them harm and, since everyone had the right to everything and resources were scarce, people lived in a scenario of perpetual war against each other.

this state of perpetual war could only be stopped by the creation of civil society and the idea that the social contract was unquestionable.

this idea could apply to different social organizations, but hobbes' role model described in his most famous work, leviathan, was basically absolutism/absolute monarchy, which is very authoritarian

now, i know all of this is too academic and ppl who read this might ask what is the point, but, please, bear with me

what makes all of this be relevant is that, even if you're not familiar with this type of academic stuff, you've probably have seen movies, fictional books, tv shows etc that have some variation of the idea that human beings are naturally violent and even evil

it's actually very common in stories that try to portray gray morality in a way

but this is not what yellowjackets does

yellowjackets doesn't treat these characters as naturally violent and evil

on the other hand, it also doesn't treat these characters as naturally good either (something that also comes from philosofical discussions, except that this time it comes from the myth of the noble savage, which french philosopher jean jacques rousseau was wrongly accused of perpetrating when his work was actually just stating an earlier version of the idea that inequality in economy and education was the source of social issues)

what yellowjackets does is actually make us question these assumptions we have about Good and Evil, and show that we human beings are not naturally one thing or another, but that our choices in certain situations can tend to one or the other

most of all, yellowjackets doesn't give us easy answers or stereotypes, it just invites us to think about what it means to be human by showing the good, the bad, the ugly etc in human experience, with most of the characters having all of these things inside them at the same time

so, because yellowjackets isn't a Good vs Evil type of story, it makes no sense for ppl to act as if laura lee, or jackie by the way, would be an antagonist to lottie or the other girls, let alone treat being an antagonist as something positive in a fight against evil, or, which seems more common, something negative as an obstacle to #girlpower

yellowjackets is a show about people in a very desperate situation making desperate decisions with tragic consequences

and it's because laura lee is a human being, and all of us human beings can end up feeling desperate, that having her joining wilderness cult is not something absurd, implausible or out of character

it's a bit of a disservice to act as if lottie is all monstruous and manipulative when all the characters are morally gray and we have yet to see all of them truly embrace brutality as a method

it's also a disservice to the work that the writers and also courtney eaton and simone kessell put to make lottie such a complex and compelling individual, someone that we sympathize with even when we can't support all her actions

and, perhaps, even a bit racist and psychophobic for ppl to assume that lottie is all violence when she, just like her white counterparts, is a morally gray and complex individual

the same way that making lottie a helpless victim is bad bc it strips her from her agency

as my favorite lottie article, "yellowjackets: the unknown through lottie and the use of static" on the latina media website, says, lottie is "a complicated character in the static"

and it's a bit patronizing and sexist to reduce laura lee to her religion and treat her as helpless when compared to the girls her age just bc she is Christian, the same way that it is to idealize her and put her on some pedestal for the same reason

it's also a disservice to the hard work that the writing team and jane widdop have put into making laura lee be more than just a Christian girl stereotype and feel like a fully fleshed individual

anyways, this is a topic that we can discuss for days and days bc, while no show is perfect and flawless, yellowjackets is so well-written and the actors are so amazing that we can analyze it over and over again and always find new stuff to talk about

but the point is that we can't really begin to understand this show and these characters if we only focus on stereotypes and judge a book by its cover

[mediocre-daydreams]

Hiya! Could I request 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞 for marauders era?

I'm a indian bisexual female, she/they. I'm fairly extroverted, though some times it may take me a while to warm up to people, however I'm pretty crazy an quite unhinged when you get to know me well. However I do have moments when I just wanna plug my earphones in and not talk to anyone, especially when im stressed and anxious. I love reading, though I don't read as much as I would like to, due to school and stuff. I adore banter, joking around and having deep coversations about literally anything. I love helping people out, and my friends come to me to vent. And on the topic of friends, I adore them and I'm also incredibly loyal. I tend to daydream quite a lot as well. Many people would tend to describe me outspoken about a lot of things, mainly politics and world issues. I love debating and arguing, its my main pastime tbh. I also adore science, mainly biology and chemistry. I'm not that creative, I can sing and I just started learning guitar, after years of convincing my parents. I adore rock and pop music, though I also love classical music. I mainly listen to Maneskin, Taylor Swift, the nbhd, artic monkeys, and chase atlantic. I'm 18, 5'3 and I have tanned skin, shoulder length black hair. Clothing wise, my aesthetic is a mix of downtown girl, rockstar gf and dark feminine. I'm an aries and a mix gryffindor and slytherin.

Sorry if its a lot, irdk how much to write, since its my first time doing something like this. Ahhh ilysm and you're writing is heavenset btw.

hey! super cool to see a fellow asian on here <33 i feel like we have so much in common we should be besties (wanna be an emoji anon??) also- i'm headcannoning james here as reiky de valk

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

i was so torn between james and sirius that i'm gonna slap the three of you into a sadistic, slightly angsty love triangle.

you and desi! james are fast friends. all those traits he loves in sirius? he finds them in you. you’re outspoken, loyal, and a little stubborn. james is admittedly a very sheltered kid. he grew up as an old money pureblood family in a mcmansion-esque house in godric’s hollow, so there was nothing, in particular, drawing him to politics. meeting you was like jumping off a diving board into the middle of the black lake when he’d been wading in shallow waters his entire life. there was so much more to the world than quidditch, house pride, and mischievous escapades.

you never treated him lesser than for not growing up politically fluent or sheltered. it wasn’t like he wanted to be sheltered. his entire life, people reduced him to his looks and his status and the model of his broomstick. as much as he loved his friends, nobody took him as seriously as you did. he was the one taking care of remus and sirius and peter, but you were there to listen to all his thoughts and stay up at night philosophizing about war and the future and the dangers of blood purity that young people shouldn’t really have to be worrying about.

you and EA! sirius are drawn to each other like magnets. you’re similar, more than just the way you dress and the sort of music you listen to. music is super important to sirius; he listens to his favorite records when he’s back at grimmauld place to block out the sound of his family, and listening to rock instead of snooty classical a form of rebellious self expression for him. he loves when you share your songs with him. being a pureblood, it’s hard for him to get his hands on muggle music, so exploring new genres and having quiet jam sessions with you is one of the only times he feels normal.

there aren’t many people who sirius feels can understand him. you’re culturally competent and opinionated, and you never invalidate his anger and intense feelings toward his parents and their beliefs. you’ve never once told him to calm down or that he was overreacting. in fact, you showed him ways to channel his anger more productively. 

you, james, and sirius are an inseparable trio, but that’s the formula for the most heartbreaking type of love triangle. all three of you are acutely aware of the dynamic, though none of you are eager to address it. the three of you value each other as friends too much to lose each other to a relationship that may or may not be guaranteed. war looms close and stakes are high. 

[thisaccisdead]

montreal - roman hurt/comfort

pairing: this was written to all be platonic prinxiety, but can definitely be interpreted romantically !

warnings: unconventional self harm, non-graphic descriptions of wounds/injury

summary: a post-POF roman hurt/comfort fic in january 2021? yes <3

word count: 3.2k

notes: large portions of this were salvaged from one (1) night last summer at 4am when i was having a . time. the rest has been mainly recently written before i go to bed, with some extra bits added during my history classes B)) also shout out to [REDACTED]. u may not read this but if u do, i hope u know who u are & ilu

Virgil had been trying to calm himself down for the better part of an hour, as soon as they got back from the wedding fiasco; and he was doing a relatively okay job. Considering the circumstances, at least. Or so he thought, when he registered a spike in Thomas’s anxiety. This only served to make Virgil more anxious, because he had thought he had been doing well—until, he realized it wasn’t anxiety, not exactly, not fully—and it wasn’t coming from him.

Once he'd figured that out, it wasn't hard to trace the feeling to the imagination. He paused at the door. If this was where the strongest negative emotions were coming from, he already knew which side this was about. And could he really be surprised? Roman had wanted that callback for so long. Even at the court case, even when Roman gave Thomas his sentence, Virgil knew it killed him. And Virgil didn't do anything. Because he was so fucking scared of Thomas being bad, or of Janus winning, or something, and now whatever was going on was his fault, and--

And now was not the time for these thoughts. He breathed in. He opened the door.

Immediately, he was coughing out soot, heat burned his cheeks, his eyes blurred with protective tears forming against the smoke. It was hard to see, let alone process, what was happening. Then, he caught sight of the Dragon Witch. And he caught sight of—

“Roman!” Virgil choked on the yell, coughing again.

Obviously Roman couldn’t hear him from the distance, especially considering the brutal roar of the creature. Adrenaline kicked in, and as Virgil began to sprint towards the prince, he took in the entirety of the scene with alarm. Roman was...fighting, sure, except that Virgil had seen him fight before, and this... wasn’t right. Roman bested manticore-chimeras like it was a breeze, he HAD bested the Dragon Witch herself in every form she took, “just for training.” He always moved like he was in a ballet, not a battle, like it was more for show than challenge, and now...

Virgil watched Roman fall to a hard swish of the creature’s tail, and stay there. He almost expected the Dragon Witch to take mercy, or at least, to accept an early victory. But he watched her rear back, raise a taloned hand, the magma-red in her throat glowing brighter and brighter—just as Virgil got close enough to let fight win over flight.

Virgil crashed into Roman; they rolled just far enough that the swipe of claws only ripped the edge of Virgil’s jacket.

Immediate danger out of the way, Virgil clenched his eyes tight, trying to do it how Logan taught him. He found something that didn’t make sense--the grass. The grass was dry, therefore it should have been burning, but it wasn’t. He took that foothold to dispel all the fantastical elements of the scene, Dragon Witch and all her carnage blinking from existence. The new calm of the scene was jarring.

That just left a great big field, Virgil, and one absolute dumbass.

"What the fuck, Princey?!"

Virgil’s voice was distorted with stress, and Roman stared up at him wide-eyed, unsure—even terrified in a way that hurt. Virgil quickly pushed himself up so he wasn't pinning the other. Roman tried to copy this movement, only to groan, start coughing, and fall back again.

“Shit, I—“ Virgil looked at his hands and found red on them, looked at Roman and saw the color painting his chest. “I thought I dispelled all the imaginary stuff, why—?“

“Left brain sides can only dispel so much of what right brain sides feel,” Roman said, voice rough and thin and upsettingly casual, “Since they feel so real to me, you can’t get rid of them.”

“They feel…? Christ, ok, you need a medical kit, uhm—“ Virgil closed his eyes again; he was notoriously shitty at summoning things, and he had to concentrate for this—

“That’s ok; I’ve got it,” Roman said, letting out a quiet hiss as he propped himself up on one arm, and summoned the medical kit with the other, “You can go now.”

Virgil gaped at him in disbelief. When Roman attempted to stand up, and Virgil could no longer deny he wasn’t joking, he exclaimed, “Like Hell am I going, idiot!”

Roman just stared at him, and Virgil cursed under his breath. “Ok ok, let’s just... we should do this in the bathroom, uhm—“

Virgil awkwardly clambered over to Roman again, taking his hand, so he could blink them over together. He knew it would probably be more comfortable for Roman to sink in and out, but considering Virgil wasn’t practiced at that, he wasn’t going to risk screwing it up.

They apparated into the bathtub, and Virgil scrambled up, taking the med kit from Roman's hands.

Ok, ok, now Virgil just had to remember that one time Logan lectured them all on “Side Safety.” He took a shaky breath and washed his hands quickly, before turning back to Roman. He allowed himself to fully assess the prince this time and… Jesus. He was slumped against the back of the tub, having given up his attempts at composure while he thought Virgil wasn’t looking. His litany of scrapes, cuts, bruising, his shallow breathing, and--most of all--the wet, red patch slowly growing on his shirt, sparked renewed panic in Virgil.

“Ok, fuck, ok--let’s do this,” Virgil said, mostly to himself, as he knelt down by Roman to undo his already tattered shirt and take a wet towel to his chest. He had to suck in a breath at the sight of the jagged wound, a nauseous feeling catching up to him.

“You’ve already done a lot, you know,” Roman insisted. “You can--”

“If you tell me to go, Princey, I swear I’ll make these wounds worse myself,” he said, not meaning it in the slightest, which he would assume Roman knew--but the way Roman flinched and shut his mouth told a different story. “Shit, I didn’t mean that. Of course I didn’t mean that!”

Roman glanced away, and Virgil reached to cup his cheek, an instinct he didn’t know he had. Luckily, he caught himself in time to retract his hand. They both avoided eye contact for a second; Virgil cleared his throat; and he reached for the bottle of hydrogen peroxide before pausing. He vaguely recalled Logan mentioning how strong alcohols would only cause more harm, and they should just stick to mild soap instead. He gave the cut a longer look-over—it was certainly not a pretty sight, but probably not as bad as it looked. It was large, but not too deep. Plus, as sides, it would heal itself without needing anything like stitches or professional medical work. The past scars littering Roman’s body were proof of that. Actually--had he always had this many scars? Virgil squinted. How often did he do this?

Virgil finished cleansing and bandaging the wound to the best of his ability, with little talk beyond the occasional, soft “sorry” at Roman’s winces. When he had finished, he gave Roman his hoodie (an action the Prince was too tired to take much notice of), since summoning a new shirt seemed like a waste of whatever energy he had left.

“Ok, Princey, all done. Uhm, are you—how, how are you?” Virgil mentally kicked himself.

A small, bitter smile tugged at Roman’s lips for just a moment. He opened his mouth and then closed it, and finally shrugged. “Thank you for your help.”

It hurt, Virgil realized. Roman’s quiet voice, where near-shouting was his usual speech. His unkempt hair sticking to his forehead, where it was usually styled to be very lightly and intentionally ruffled. The bags beneath his eyes where there was usually concealer. All of it hurt.

Virgil sucked in a breath. “Look, I’m sorry if I’m being annoying, but I hope you know there’s absolutely no way I’m leaving yet.”

“Virgil,” Roman almost said it as a whine, which was closer to his usual style, so Virgil considered it progress.

“Roman,” Virgil deadpanned back.

Roman huffed. “Maybe I need space to really explore my feelings, and you’re actually being a terrible friend right now,” he argued.

“Uh-huh, well being a terrible friend is always my favorite, so,” Virgil leaned down, fumbling slightly as he picked Roman up bridal style, “We’re gonna get you to bed, and you can explore your feelings by sleeping.”

“Great, now you’re damsel-in-distressing me,” Roman said sarcastically, but he leaned his head into Virgil’s chest as he did so, which kind of ruined his point.

“Yeah, yeah. Act more like Megara next time, and maybe it’ll be different.”

•••

Roman groaned upon waking up. His whole body ached, but mainly it was focused around a sharper pain in his chest. He let his eyes flutter open, only to find Virgil staring at him from his desk.

“Ah,” Roman uttered, a jumble of memories from the past few hours returning. They felt foggy and mildly icky, but mainly the pain in them was the numb kind of pain, the tired kind. Really, it was indistinguishable from the dull ache of his bruises and cuts.

“Yeah,” Virgil said, as though he understood, even though he couldn’t possibly. “Uh, wanna talk about it?”

It was clear Virgil felt awkward asking the question. It was unclear whether that was due to his tendency to be embarrassed by everything he said, or—far more likely—that he wanted to stop babying a stupid prince, and just go about his business.

Roman sat up, suppressing a wince as best he could. “Do you want to hear about it?”

“Of course I do.” Virgil said it without an ounce of hesitation. Roman’s breath caught.

“Oh.” Roman shifted slightly over, and Virgil took a seat by him on the bed. “Okay. Uhm. I don’t know, I just—I messed up.” What else was new?

“...What did you mess up?” Virgil asked, with an inkling of suspicion, like he knew what this was about. But it wasn’t that; it wasn’t the callback—that was over and done and dead. Roman had created so many fantasies, so many crazy scenarios where they could somehow still make it in that stupid movie, and it had always filled him with hope or crushing pain or something, but as of this afternoon? He didn’t even care. It didn’t matter.

So, Roman ignored the question, and instead commented, “Janus got accepted.”

“What the fuck.”

Roman observed Virgil’s stricken expression like an unsettling kind of mirror of himself when—

My name is Janus.

“Yeah,” Roman sighed, “I didn’t take it so well either.”

Virgil looked at him for a long moment, seeming to go through several series of emotions, before he was able to ask, “...What happened?”

Roman inhaled sharply. “I was wrong about being wrong about the wedding. Patton was also wrong; Janus was right, and then Patton was right because he wasn’t a total asshole to Janus, and I’m evil; Thomas hates me; whatever, you get it.”

He thought he would break down, saying it, but he felt oddly… fine. He sat, staring at the same spot as he was before, absentmindedly annoyed at the way his bandages itched. The normalcy of the situation almost made it worse. This sucked. This wasn’t even bad.This was the worst he had ever felt.

“Oook,” Virgil said, clearly not knowing where to start, “I—you—what do you mean: Thomas hates you?”

“Thought that one was self-explanatory.”

“He can’t hate you,” Virgil said with a laughable amount of conviction. “You’re still his… y’know.. goals. Desires. Hopes. Whatever. Just because this one didn’t go… perfectly, doesn’t mean you won’t keep—“ he struggled to find the phrasing for a moment— “...fighting, uh, valiantly for Thomas’s dreams!” he attempted at the encouragement with a weak smile.

Roman just shook his head. “No. I don’t know what he wants.”

Virgil’s smile dropped into confusion. “But… you are his wants.”

“That’s kind of the problem.”

Virgil seemed at a loss, and Roman felt like an asshole. Here he was trying to help him, and Roman couldn’t even be bothered to put on a smile to dismiss him from the duty.

“Please go,” Roman attempted weakly when he couldn’t find a more convincing argument in himself. He was meant to be an actor, but he knew he couldn’t hide the fact that he wanted him to stay, of course he did, so badly. He hoped Virgil would just quit with the chivalry and go despite that.

Virgil sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shit, I'm going about this all wrong.”

Roman knew it probably wasn’t really him Virgil was mad at, but it was hard not to shrink away anyway.

“Look, Roman—“ Virgil turned to him, looked at him seriously, took his hands in his— “To be honest? I don’t care what happened. I don’t care who was right or wrong—I mean, we all know I’ve been in the wrong more than my fair share. It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Roman didn’t miss the ambiguity of the end statement. “But… look, you don’t get it. When you mess up, you’re still you. You’re still...,” Roman gestured vaguely, which upset his bandages, and when he looked down at himself, he took note of the black/purple hoodie he was wearing. He melted slightly. This was exactly the point he was trying to make, “You’re still... y’know. Important.”

“Wh—? Of course you’re important, Ro. You’re creativity—“

“Thomas has two of those.”

Virgil looked at him like he was stupid. “Right, as if you’re anything like Remus.”

Roman’s lip quivered at that, and he had to look away, which was so stupid. And suddenly he felt all of the embarrassment at once—of this situation, of everything that had happened before, of the way he was about to cry, in front of Virgil, after he said that, which must look so—

“Roman?”

A hand was on his cheek, softly turning his face towards Virgil’s, though Roman still refused to meet his eyes.

Virgil cursed to himself under his breath. “Shit, this is exactly what I was trying not to say.” He sighed, and Roman hesitantly looked up at him. “Look. Even if you weren’t creativity, if you weren’t hopes or dreams or any of it—if you were a completely pointless side, which you aren’t, but if you were—I wouldn’t care. What I care about is that you’re... Roman. That you bother me until I sing Disney with you, that when you put your heart into something, you do it to a stupid amount, that you make Thomas take trashy buzzfeed soulmate quizzes when he’s stressed, and that you fucking try so hard for everything, even when I’m being a little bitch about it,” he paused. With the hand on Roman’s cheek, he traced the line of a scar down his jaw. It was one of the ones Roman usually made sure to put an illusion over, he noted offhandedly. “I care, because you’re my best friend.”

“Don’t say that,” Roman choked out. He couldn’t handle it if it was a lie, and part of him couldn’t manage hearing it as anything but exactly that. “Just—just—“

“Oh, Princey..”

Virgil held him as he broke. Roman didn’t know how long they sat like that as he let everything wash over him for a final time, let it all truly sink in at long last. He took heaving, messy sobs, no doubt ruining Virgil’s shirt in the process—he was quiet, though. He shook silently, save a couple choked breaths, in the other’s arms--that was a habit he had taught himself long ago.

When Roman had tired himself out, when all that was left was the pain in chest, (which was also suddenly duller—he was healing fast, even for a side—) he pulled back from the embrace. Virgil didn’t move by much, kept them so their fingers were laced together, as they sat staring at each other.

“Uhm. Thanks,” Roman gave a shaky smile, “You really—uh... I... I said some stupid stuff, huh?”

Virgil hesitated before he spoke, as if he knew he shouldn’t ask this right now, but needed to anyway. “...Roman, why’d you go to the Imagination?”

Roman felt ice stab at his chest upon the question. He didn’t want to do this. They had already talked about so much that he shouldn’t have gotten into; this was meant to be the part where they either parted or watched a stupid movie. And this, out of everything, was the conversation he most needed to avoid.

“Uh—I mean, to let off steam?” Roman gave a laugh as best he could. “Obviously, it didn’t go to plan—“

“Didn’t it?”

Roman’s face fell immediately. He struggled to come up with an answer, and even if he had had one, he didn’t think the sound would come out. This was enough of an answer in itself

“Shit,” Virgil breathed. Roman couldn’t help but be mildly annoyed by his surprise—clearly he had already known, he didn’t have to make it a big deal now.

“I… Princey—Roman…” Virgil looked him up and down, and Roman wanted to curl up and hide. “...how many times?”

“Not many,” Roman mumbled. Virgil must have known he was pushing the subject too far, because he just frowned and said,

“OK. I mean...it’s not OK, obviously, but you already know that, I just—“ he sighed. “Just… can you talk to me? Instead? Please? When you feel like… that.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Roman responded hastily, wanting an out from this topic.

Virgil gave him a look. “I’m serious. I mean—look, you don’t even have to talk about it if you don’t want. Just, come to me first, yeah?”

Roman’s face burned; he was embarrassed; he wanted to shrug this whole thing off, or roll his eyes, or maybe scream in annoyance. But the rational part of him knew Virgil was right. “OK,” he agreed softly, “...Thanks. For everything.”

Virgil looked surprised, and then flustered, and then waved off the earnest reply. “I mean, it wasn’t--I didn’t--it’s not like I did anything really--”

“You did.”

Virgil’s face softened. “Yeah, well... you’d’ve done the same for me. You... have done the same for me.”

Roman smiled gently at him. “By the way, Virge--” He hesitated. He was about to sound like a real dumbass if Virgil had only been saying this stuff for comfort’s sake. But making a fool of himself was becoming a theme for him anyway, so he continued, “You’re my best friend too.”

I love you.

In the same beats Roman thought it, Virgil squeezed his hand lightly 3 times. A breath passed between them. An understanding. That Roman couldn’t say it out loud, and Virgil wouldn’t.

Instead, Virgil fell back across the bed, bringing Roman with him in the motion. Roman let out a startled gasp and elbowed him lightly. “Hey! I’m injured, that could have been a fatal impact for me!” he whined.

Virgil snorted. “Yeah, yeah, OK. So, do you wanna watch a stupid movie, or what?”

[autumn-oceanopromises]

@grimfox​:

speaking as someone who wrote predominantly dark, edgy, torn rippy lovelorn lovelost traumacausing traumacaused poetry before I started doing the count (I don’t remember the url which inspired me to start counting, but I’m fairly certain I started keeping count out of spite -- there was this dude called steven I think and his profile pic had a guitar who reblogged his own stuff to boost the note count, iirc, and I got jealous that he’d got up to 300+ while I was plugging away without numbers. anyway it means something very different to me now so I probably should thank him if he’s still around on tumblr. this was like ten years ago. eight. eight years ago.). I set myself a goal to write 10,000 poems to get me out of a less dark and more featureless stretching gloomy void, and although that number on my blog does say 9000 to go.... It’s really closer to 8000, or will be as soon as I hit (1000); there’s about 1000 lots darker, ragier, nihilisticer, frankly kinda narcississississticer poetry before the brackets started up. Technically the first 1000 was all that dark and desperate stuff, albeit mostly just raw ramblings, and the rest of this, definitely the last 500, has been all the shit that’s happened since then and while moving towards contentment, being happy, and being self-loved (since this gigantic anthology also involves at least three relationships, all the way through their romance and through their ending). In a lot of ways this poetry is my recovery or is at least signposts along the way. So if nothing else you know that it’s at least possible that being content doesn’t make other people lose writing.

......I got super sidetracked, but what I meant to say was - in regards to you: you won’t lose your poetry. You won’t, you won’t, you won’t.

You get more things to write about instead. Way more things. You don’t ever really lose the stuff you write about now. You just also get the climb, you get the peak, you get the times when you're on top of the world and you're so in love with someone or with the world and you want to capture it forever. you also get the frankly really fucking frequent backslides, you also get the moments where you catch your breath and you go, oh shit, the world is beautiful. My world is beautiful. I’m good (enough). She's gorgeous inside and out and I'm so damn lucky I can't even make words. My world is amazing and I get to see it and I get to be here. you get to look back at where you came from and damn, that’s a long way you’ve come but you haven’t gone anywhere at all at the same time. because truth is that none of us get happy endings with a snap of our fingers. we all had to, have to, work for it, the ups and the downs, the pulling ourselves away from the grasp of that shit that’s got a damn firm hold of us.

--and poetry is form: and the other reason why you won’t lose your poetry, is that poetry at the end of the day when the night falls is a skill, the way you’ve learned how to play with words, it’s seeing all the facets of them, seeing the way they bend and snap into place, nesting/bedding/ in sand, the twist of them and the rhyme of them knowing what rules to break and what rules you wanna break the feel and the flow and the flight and the rhyme and the form. and the form, whether it’s pantoums or free verse or sonnets or ghazals or duotyches or villanelles or haikus or tankas or shi or sagas or ballads or couplets or all the shallow and the deep stanzas of reversals and mirrors and hijacks and loveletters and collabs and messages and raps and songs; there’s so much ground to cover and so much to love and learn and freely explore and master. and you don’t lose that. you don’t lose your tips and tricks that make writing poetry easier and faster for you. and even if you do you can get them back again. So even if you go away, even if you take a hiatus for years and years because you’re happy, at last, you’re happy, you won’t lose your poetry.  

Because - at least, I feel this way, especially when it comes to poets and writing poetry - writing poetry is like a clam polishing a pearl. You get a bit of sand caught in the filters, an intrusive thought, kinda, and then you polish and polish until something comes out of it. sometimes you polish for like months, other times you give it one good scrub with the clam-cloth and dump it back in the ocean. Sometimes what comes out is a misshapen bead attached to like four other camel-hump beads, but you like it. Sometimes what comes out is a pearl and everyone starts craving it but it kinda looks like a flat ball to you. sometimes the flat balls start looking like pearls after the ocean’s had a go at it. I got faster and faster at polishing sand lumps that I kinda like for myself. You will too, if that’s what you want. sand lumps and lava lumps. I don’t know what I’m saying. Where did this metaphor go, wtaf.

I don’t know if you’ve ever read something by inkskinned? that open letter on your tumblr kinda reminds me of the secrets series she did, years back - the series that really propelled her gigantic rise (yes, her words 100% did it because her words are still mad beautiful ten years on, but also because it really was in the zeitgeist of tumblr poetry and prose of the time. i own her book. i love her stuff. please read her stuff if you haven’t already.) i was fortunate enough to do a collab with her when she was still collabing with people, before that gigantic and massive rise. maybe i’ll get to see you rise too. you definitely deserve it.

anyway. what i meant to say was: like the secrets series, you’re channeling something wider and vaster and beautiful, to put gorgeous words to what people put in your inbox. and maybe it feels like losing, right now, to be happy and loved and content, like it feels like you’d be losing a part of you that you find to be beautiful, maybe it’s the only thing right now that you feel is beautiful about you. because the dark is beautiful, even when it’s bloody and gory and raw and painful and visceral. but it’s not the only thing that is beautiful about you, and you won’t ever lose your poetry when you become loved and content and happy.

you only ever gain. you only ever gain.

if i become happy and loved and content, will i lose my poetry? stay tuned

[rfadaydreaming]

the rfa playing minecraft

oh the chaos a mysme minecraft server would bring ♡

jumin

• does not know how to move in any direction except straight

• keeps falling into caves because he just… walks

• stands there in the dark for a few seconds to process what happened

• “the game broke, i cannot see”

• yoosung is like wtf how is it broken

• cave noises start to happen

• “h elp”

• seven has to track him down and it takes absolutely forever just because jumin does not know where he is… not even a hint... he was just walking around

• finally seven finds him and brings him up with a fishing pole, but when he finally gets him up, they both get blown up by a creeper

• “i don’t like this game very much.”

• has a house with v because there’s no way in hell he’s about to share a home with zen

• their house is actually so cute, modern on the outside but super cozy and cute on the inside

• here’s some reference pictures of what i think their house would look like !! starter home / end game home

• his room is so naked omg v comes in and adds a desk, some pictures, plants, just to make it more homey

• has so many cats to the point where it lags HEAVILY when you enter his room, it’s just a giant barrage of meows

• his playstyle is fishing, taming cats, naming cats, fishing again

• he gets lost in the boats so much though, you have to come save him because he’s stranded in the middle of the ocean

• you show up and there’s a cow stuck in the back of his boat, he’s starving to death, the phantom is killing him

• but the nice part about fishing all the time is he gets really good loot and enchantments so he’ll give them to whoever wants them since… well he doesn’t really need them

• except zen omg he gives him like. chain link boots, seaweed, paper

• zen breaks into his room and takes whatever he wants though because jumin doesn't know how to make a locked chest

• he’s honestly just here for the vibes, he’ll lay on his bed even when no one else is sleeping and listen to what everyone’s talking about in the voice chat

• you cannot even see him on his bed because it’s just a sea of cats + a drop in frame rate the second you open up his door

zen

• he’s so bad with technology so he has to read the tutorial like three times before he plays

• takes awhile to get used to the controls so he’ll stop walking, jump over a block, pause, keep on walking

• it’s cute to watch actually

• he follows everyone else around and likes to pretend he knows what he’s doing? but really doesn’t

• beats the shit out of jumin for just existing

• gets stuck in a village well and silently flips out because he’s too embarrassed to ask for help

• jumin finds him and they just stare at each other in silence… jumin figures out how to hit him one singular time before running away

• he lives in a dirt home with the green top for so long it’s actually embarrassing

• inside is just a torch, furnace, crafting table, basic bed and chest literally just a straight mans home

• it’s so ugly

• v tries to spruce it up a little because he just does not like to look at it… every time he walks by he gets the ick

• jaehee eventually adopts him out of pity and they live together, but she has to do all the hard work

• their house looks like this

• he mooches so hard oh my god she’ll spend an entire day cycle mining only for him to take all the iron and make himself a silly little outfit

• she never complains though because he’s really appreciative about it

• will give her little flowers in exchange for outfit materials

• and of course gives you flowers just because you’re you

• leaves them in a pot in your room with a sign that has a little winky face

• is always changing his clothes, every time he wakes up he changes into something different

• jaehee works so hard to find diamonds for him so he can be the first to have some diamond armor

• seven kills him the second he steps out of his house and snatches it from his dead corpse

• zen’s playstyle is just following everyone else around and pretending to help but he doesn’t do much, being sweet to jaehee and you, annoying jumin

• he gets bored easily so he doesn’t play for very long :( also gets mad at jumin and rage quits omg

yoosung

• absolutely loves minecraft and he’s been playing for years, he’s really good at it!!

• so sweet and fun to play with hehe he’s like the cheery little team leader

• helps everyone get settled and works hard to make sure the newbies have a nice amount of starter materials

• even if they die and lose them all he’s like “oh that’s okay don’t sweat it you guys!!” and runs to get them new stuff

• hums to the music while he’s playing, always updates people on what he’s doing and asks if anyone needs anything

• a man on a mission, gets to work on gathering materials with jaehee the second the game loads in, knows exactly what he’s doing

• he’ll move fast to make a quick little community house for everyone to sleep in for the night

• doesn’t like the day one dirt homes it gives him anxiety

• it’s a little small but cozy!! makes everyone a chest and puts a sign above it with their name on it

• adds a “:D” at the end of everyone’s names on the signs, but a “♡” to your name only!!

• zen goes off and makes his gross little dirt house because he doesn’t wanna sleep next to jumin

• he ends up just expanding off the community house once everyone leaves and lives solo with his little parrots

• unless you want to join him!! go ahead he’d love the company

• so nervous in caves and will only go into the shallow parts where the sun still hits, a very silent miner because he’s concentrating

• he’ll go deeper into mines when seven and saeran are with him but he almost pees his pants when the cave noises start to play

• gets startled so easily and screams whenever something happens, it's so loud that the mic automatically cuts it off– so you hear 0.2 seconds of a scream, dead silence, then suddenly “yoosung fell from a high place” it’s so funny

• 9 times out of 10 seven pushed him off too

• takes it seriously, wants to play until the end of the game but everyone else is busy running around with gremlin energy

• his playstyle is a little bit of everything, he’s not a bad builder but he doesn’t spend too much time on it. goal for him is survival and exploration

• if anyone needs anything he’ll run to get it without a second thought doesn’t get the appreciation he deserves >:(

• seven picks on him so much oh my god, once he asked him to come help mine diamonds but actually pushed him into lava and yoosung started to cry

• everyone made seven feel kind of bad for it so he apologized with a full set of diamond armor, tools, flowers and a cake… it still hurt though

jaehee

• minecraft queen

• plays by herself a lot, the music, building on peaceful mode, all the alone time she gets

• loves it a lot actually, especially after a hard day at work

• but she gets so stressed out playing with everyone else

• it’s kinda bad for her health

• sighs into the mic whenever someone’s acting like an absolute fool

• tolerates no bullshit

• do not hit her. not even by accident. do not do it

• it’s so tense, she slowly turns around stares at them for what seems like forever it’s actually so scary

• only you’re allowed to hit her because for the two of you it’s not a smack, it’s a boop

• she does it back too

• “boop!” with a cute little giggle afterwards

• instantly goes to get the basics set up when the game loads in, sticks with yoosung in the beginning to get a bunch of starter materials gathered together

• is always running around doing something but no one knows exactly what because she doesn’t share. she is doing something though, a very productive crafter

• she has never died, ever. probably the highest level here out of anyone else

• the resident necessity provider, will throw you stacks of bread exactly when you need some, it’s like a 6th sense

• has basic mining chests set up for everyone to take from if they want to, so torches, food, tools, dirt, armor etc

• she really likes to decorate more than build, but she’s still really good at it!

• loves designing up floor plans

• not the best at adding the little details though

• her homes always look kinda square so v helps her out with that

• she organizes other people’s chests because she just hates how messy it looks, seven gives her so much anxiety especially

• she’s always cleaning up after him and shutting his doors since he leaves them open constantly

• her play style is a little bit of everything, not afraid of the caves whatsoever so she’ll mine if no one else wants to do it

• you can usually find her decorating though

• spends so much time making a cute little kitchen in her house especially

• a “coffee machine” is definitely a must in her house, also has a really pretty and huge bedroom

• white concrete and dark wood slabs, her house looks so lovely

• decorates zens room for him too

• she doesn’t talk much in the voice chat when jumin’s in there because she doesn’t wanna get fired

• likes to come into peoples houses and jump around a few times to say hi before running off again

• her and zen throw flowers back and forth to each other while crouching up and down like a couple of nerds ♡

seven

• the second the game loads he is off to the races, he is gone baby!! no one knows what he’s doing but everyone knows he fears nothing so it must be exciting

• “GOD707 was slain by enderdragon”

• we’ve been in the game for an hour max how did he- nvm don’t question it

• he’ll randomly show up to the community house out of nowhere, do a few random things here and there, leave again for a few days

• comes back on a skeleton horse, enchanted diamond armor, a fleet of dogs, elytra, the wandering trader enslaved on a lead

• saeran follows him around most of the time so they’ll usually be off doing something together

• seven dies so much omg every five minutes there’s a death message in the chat

• if you manage to track him down you find that he is living absolutely lavish

• has so many bases scattered around like this, this, or this

• spends a lot of time building once everyone else goes offline, does not sleep until his base is done and he’s actually an amazing builder

• v loves to go around in his bases and just gawk

• he does not decorate whatsoever, that's for saeran to do! jaehee comes and organizes because he just throws everything into a chest and leaves

• his playstyle is chaotic horrifying, he does a bit of everything but the main goal is to get to the void and beat the ender dragon with his bare hands, he wants to become god

• never shuts his doors so there’s just big creeper explosion holes in his home that he’s too lazy to fix, claims it adds ~character~

• he loves spelunking so you can find him running around in caves most of the time, there is no fear in this man's soul whatsoever, loves battle and fighting mobs, insults them most of the time while killing them

• throws his diamond armor into lava just for the funsies, always parkouring in caves, you will get so much anxiety being around him

• sometimes mimics the cave noises just to scare yoosung

• burns down villages, starts random fires, jumps into holes, beats up any animal he sees

• sometimes he comes in to hit jumin’s cats just to hear him raise his voice a little and be like “Hey!” it’s really funny but annoys jumin

• he edges the creepers omg gets them to the point where they almost blow up but backs up before they actually do

• redstone master!! builds so many insane things out of it, has an entire theme park dedicated to himself, definitely has a torture room somewhere in his mansion

• he’s always joking around with everyone, especially with you

• “hey mc, hold this for me?”

• he slowly gets real close to you until your hands are touching and your heads are almost morphing into each other

• “bro... are we ab to kiss rn...”

• will come into your bedroom when everyone’s asleep does NOT knock first this man barges right in and stands over your bed, silent for a few seconds before suddenly tossing hundreds of diamonds down on you, throws back some ass a few times before running off once again

• hits people for absolutely no reason and yes he will hit with the intention to kill

• “no swearing in my christian minecraft server”

v

• gets motion sick at video games usually but he actually really likes minecraft!!

• a complete dad so he takes a little bit getting used to the controls but warms up quick

• don’t you dare hit him. that’s evil. he’s like “woah!! something just happened, i got attacked out of nowhere!! we have to be more careful you guys!”

• he’s genuinely so confused and concerned for everyone’s safety

• adores building so much, not just houses but also little structures here and there

• he’ll make greenhouses, vineyards, beach homes, treehouses, statues

• villages get completely revamped if he thinks they’re ugly which most of the time, he does

• his playstyle is completely just building and decorating, sometimes he’ll send jumin out for supplies but it ends badly most of the time

• aka jumin gets lost and/or dies

• he helps build everyone their own little structures so jumin gets a luxury cat mansion, zen gets a shrine dedicated to himself, yoosung gets a stage for his parrots to dance on, jaehee gets a coffee shop in the village, seven gets a giant ph pepper statue, saeran gets a sunflower farm all to himself, and of course you get whatever you want! omg he’d make you a heart shaped nether portal

• he’ll help when he’s needed but he doesn’t really play, he just builds

• everyone brings their spare materials to him if they don’t need them, yoosung and saeran help him farm for stuff if he needs something in particular

• really loves giving house tours when he’s done with a build and it is the cutest thing in the entire world

• he is just so insanely giddy and excited as he shows off all the little details, you can hear the smile in his voice

• everyone validates him and matches his energy too it’s so sweet :’)

• he’s always complimenting everyone on anything and everything they do

• “look at you, finding diamonds! good job!”

• “this house is so very lovely, i love the warm energy it brings.”

• he likes to wander around and find white cats for jumin to tame

• on the rare occasion he comes caving, he’s always the little cheerleader for everyone else of course

• “good luck down here everyone, please stay safe and call out if you need anything. we’re all here to help each other, alright?”

• two seconds later yoosungs drowning in lava, seven is mining bedrock, jumin is being shot by a skeleton, jaehee is fighting off a mob spawner, zen is lost, saeran is riding minecarts around

saeran

• he’s pretty quiet while he plays so no one ever knows what exactly he’s up to, he’s just shy

• picks flower fields absolutely clean, not a singular flower in sight, only if he finds a beehive somewhere then he’ll leave some for them

• has a lot of dye because of that, resident banner creator!!! he’ll make anything that you’d like

• he follows people around– especially seven, and just goes with the flow of whatever they’re up to, chaotic or not

• sometimes you think he’s afk so you just stop and stare at him but then he moves and you jump a little

• yoosung and him will just spam crouch for minutes on end together when they’re bored

• by himself a lot of the time, you can find him playing with some turtles on the beach somewhere or planting flowers

• builds a lot on his own solo server, but doesn’t really like to in the main one because he gets insecure comparing it to v’s and seven’s work.

• he does have his own little house away from seven’s mansion basement though

• if you come in and start complimenting it he gets so shy and blushy

• “thanks… it’s not that impressive i just whipped it up really quick…”

• seven knowing damn well that house took him several hours: 👁_👁

• he hits people to get their attention and then crouches all guiltily when they turn around, throws them a quick little flower before running off

• he has a ton of pink sheep collected outside his house, an army of jebs live in his basement

• his playstyle is just doing whatever he feels like. sometimes he’s getting materials for everyone, other times he’s just sliding around on ice with the polar bears for awhile

• he likes enchanting potions and that kind of stuff

• smacks seven with random potions like slowness, fire, poison

• had a pet fish in a little aquarium at his place, one day it despawned and he nearly burnt down his whole house from being so upset

• still convinced seven killed him

• he doesn’t get scared from the mines

• the nether though is is a different story, it’s terrifying to him

• especially ghasts and the sounds they make. will not go in there unless you are and you beg him to hold your hand or something

• has secret little minecraft pinterest boards full of silly statues and stuff that he likes to build around randomly

• blames herobrine for all of them which scares yoosung

mc (hey thats you!!!)

• jumin lets you name his cats, dye their collars, anything you want even if it’s silly. if you have your own cats then sometimes he brings his favorites over and they have little baby kittens together, you both spam crouch and jump around afterwards from the excitement of it all. don’t worry he pays child support !! you don’t know where he got diamonds but. you’ll take them anyways

• zen brings you random little presents that he thinks are super useful but… are not. you don’t have the heart to tell him that though. thinks spider eye is like the rarest thing in the entire game, secretly comes in to give them to you and message you something like “shh… keep it secret jagiya~ ;)” it’s the thought that counts

• yoosung is always so sweet with everything he does, he’ll bring you any sort of materials, tools. anything you need it’s yours. once he ran in front of you to take the hit from a poison spider when you know he’s absolutely terrified of them so you could get away safely. he tries his best to be brave for you <3

• jaehee invites you to her kitchen for taste testing, you’ll come in and try all the lil cakes she has sitting out while giving your feedback on all them in detail. mm yes very good, love the electric taste of the pixels in this one! finally she’ll be like wtf are we doing

• seven surprises you by making a cute little heart shape out of redstone, you press a button and it lights up red, fireworks go off, he’s jumping around throwing flowers and diamonds at you. he’ll put a sign down that says “will you… put your minecraft bed next to mine?”

• v is constantly checking in on you, he’ll say “knock knock!” before coming into your room, you’re like hey what’s up!! he replies i missed you! i just wanted to say hi :) before leaving again, comes in every day cycle with snacks to make sure you’re eating properly of course

• saeran brings you flowers all the time, he’ll shyly sneak into your room, crouch over to the bed super slowly, suddenly start throwing stacks of flowers all over you, crouch up n down a couple of times before running for the hills. forgets to shut your door and runs back real quick to shut it before leaving again

thanks for reading! find more on my mysme masterlist ♡!