#but i thought it needed some updating too so

[derinwrites]

Do you have any advice for writing in a web serial format?

Let’s look at this in two sections – the business part, and the actual writing part.

The Business Part

1. Consistency. Consistency in updates. Have a schedule and STICK TO IT.

If your schedule is too hectic and starts affecting your health or otherwise adversely affecting your life, change the schedule; update less often. Don’t update in spurts and then randomly stop. The audience will far more easily tolerate a slow schedule than an inconsistent one; an inconsistent one will lose many readers. You’re not Andrew Hussie and you can’t get away with that bullshit.

There may be times where you need to take a hiatus due to some emergency, life event, or health condition. This is fine – your wellbeing is more important than your story. But you need to be up-front with your audience about this; tell them you’re taking a hiatus and tell them exactly how long it’s going to be. If you can, you should tell them in advance (this isn’t possible for things like a car accident, but is very possible if you’re planning to, say, move house in a month). If you’re taking too many hiatuses, then it’s better to slow down your schedule and update less often. Audiences prefer fast and consistent, but if they have to choose, slow is better than inconsistent.

The #1 helper to consistency is having a big buffer – that is, have several weeks’ worth of unpublished chapters. The length of your buffer is personal taste, but I like to keep mine as long as possible so that if there’s some problem that stops me from writing for several weeks, it won’t upset the schedule. It keeps my stress down to know that I have that leeway. Other writers prefer to only write a week or two ahead, though, so different things work for different people.

2. Decide on your monetisation system early and prioritise it.

The most popular and most effective method for monetising a web serial seems to be the patronage method, which is the one I use. You set up a patreon, ko-fi, or whatever sponsorship system you prefer, and offer rewards to those who support you. Having their names in a credit list and getting access to advance chapters are very common rewards. Some people also lock access to their discord behind a paywall, or offer extra stories or let supporters name story characters.

This model is not the only way to make money from web serials. Some people make money via advertising, or selling merchandise, or use the web serial itself to advertise stories that they sell. You can of course use several revenue streams – you can have both a patreon/ko-fi and run ads on your website (I don’t because I hate ads, but you can), or start selling merch related to your story once there’s a demand for it. Many web serial authors (including myself) sell their completed works as books. But the important thing here is that one of these systems will be your main system, and you need to know what it is and behave accordingly. If you run ads AND have a patreon, are you more focused on ad revenue or patreon revenue? You’re going to have to put your time and attention into one of them over the other. You’re going to have to make decisions that will help one and harm the other. So know in advance which one is most important to you.

You don’t have to monetise your story at all, of course. Plenty of people write fiction on the internet for free every day with no thought to making an income at all. But if you’re serious about this, I would recommend monetising it, because that makes a better and more consistent product. The reason I’m still able to keep writing these year after year is that my supporters pay my mortgage; without Patreon and ko-fi, I’d have to get a different job, and wouldn’t have time or energy to write consistently. Also, the reason I can write and update even when I don’t feel like it, and the reason I always push to make my stories as good as possible even when I’m not interested, is because I owe it to my supporters who are paying me real actual money to read my work. If I didn’t owe my readers anything, none of these stories would ever get finished, because writing is only fun about half of the time.

3. Don’t expect to be able to turn this into a career.

This advice sounds silly coming from me, who has through sheer luck, as well as the generosity and passion of my readers, somehow turned this into a career. But I need to emphasise that that luck is not typical. Most web serial writers will not be able to support themselves solely with their writing. It can make a good side hustle, but if your primary goal is “low barrier to entry work-from-home career where I don’t have to answer to a boss and can support myself comfortably,” then web serial writing is usually all of those things except the last one. There’s no harm in trying to turn this into a career – I did it, as have many other web serial authors – but don’t expect that result, is all I’m saying.

Still, if you can do it, it does have a lot of advantages.

4. Don’t expect to make money fast.

I remember when I finally started making an entire $100/month on Patreon. It was a fantastic day.

It was when I’d been writing web serials for four years.

5. Your most valuable resource is your readership.

Your readership will grow and gather momentum over time. The best business decisions you can make are those that grow your readership and allow your readers to participate in community, even if you have to give up opportunities to make money to do it.

A good example of this is discord. Some people have private discords that only their patrons can access; while this is a useful anti-spam and anti-harassment tool, I don’t recommend doing this if you don’t have a major spam or harassment problem. Some people will pay for discord access, yes, so you might get a handful of extra dollars per month that way – however, you will also get a far less active discord. When it comes to readers, population density is critically important; the more activity, the more people talking about your work together (or talking about anything and bonding with each other), the better. Plenty of people have joined my free discord just because it was there and only read my stories after seeing people talk about them there. Then they go and get their friends to read the stories. Enthusiastic readers are inherently valuable, and the best thing you can do is give them the resources they need to talk to each other and share their interest.

This principle applies to a lot of things. I have a lot of free stories on my website that aren’t the usual web serials, and more than once I’ve considered whether they should be paywalled. The answer I always land on is ‘no’; I couldn’t tell you how many readers have been roped into my web serials because they liked Copy <|> Paste, or The Void Princess, or Drops of Blood. These readers may or may not then become monetary supporters, but even the ones who don’t will increase activity and discussion about the stories, have fun and tell jokes in the discord, and may even produce fanart. A thriving community is always going to be more valuable to you than a few extra dollars; make sure to support them accordingly.

Your readership will start very small. In terms of marketing, this is your hardest time. A big readership does the majority of the marketing for you, but when you’re on your own, it takes a lot to convince anyone to give your stories a shot. It helps if you have an existing readership to leverage, which is what I did – I’d been writing Animorphs fanfiction on AO3 for years, and many of my first readers followed me over from there. If you have such a community that already has faith in your writing, leverage it. If you don’t, you can gain one my writing in a place where people go to read stories similar to your work, such as an appropriate subreddit, or a web serial site like Royal Road or Scribblehub. You are looking to gain as high a number of enthusiastic, engaged readers as possible.

And now, the fun part – the actual craft!

The Writing Part

1. Always remember that you are writing for two audiences

A web serial author has to keep two audiences in mind; the serial readers, and the bingers. You are writing a story that needs to be fun and engaging when read very slowly, at the pace of whatever your update schedule is, but that also needs to be interesting when read all at once.

This is not an easy task.

It’s something I fucked up pretty significantly with Curse Words, which was my first attempt at this. Curse Words has a lot of complicated political stuff happening throughout pretty much the whole story, as well as a complex save-the-world plot that’s reliant on a lot of secrets, mysteries and extremely speculative information. With so many wheels spinning, I decided to make the protagonist not particularly smart and move him very slowly through the plot to make sure that the reader would be able to keep up.

This was a mistake.

‘Pretty slow and simple’ at a novel reader’s pace is torturous at a web serial pace. Readers got a full week to discuss the mysteries and implications of each chapter with each other, doing the detective work of ten chapters between each one. The frustration with Kayden’s slow pace was clear, and he came across as an outright idiot rather than an average teen. Personally, I think this lesson was one of the biggest reasons for the difference in quality between Curse Words and Time to Orbit. Don’t slow down for your audience; they’re already slowed down by your update schedule.

At the same time, though, you don’t want to move so fast that you lose the bingers. You can’t assume that your readers will have time between chapters, or that they will discuss each chapter with other readers, or that they will go back over previous chapters looking for clues. Interested people reading update by update will do this, but bingers absolutely will not. So you still need to make sure that everything is comprehensible on a binge read with no backchecking or outside investigation.

My advice on this matter is to move as fast as possible, but take care to make sure that readers are reminded of everything important a few chapters before it comes into play. That way, both audiences can keep up. If you have to make a decision, it’s best to favour your update readers; they’re your most active community. They’re doing the up-to-date discussion, and probably doing the most word-of-mouth and fanart, although binge readers will do that too (I have plenty of dedicated readers who wait five or six weeks to binge a bunch of chapters on purpose, just because that’s their preferred reading style, and they’re still very engaged). But if you plan to publish your story later as a complete work, you also need to keep in mind how it’s going to read as a binge – and also, new readers will binge the earlier chapters of your story to catch up to the current one, so make sure it’s a good experience for them or they won’t get a chance to become update readers.

Two audiences. Mind your pacing and information reveals accordingly.

2. Chapter length

The general rule of web serials is that the more often you update, the shorter your chapters should be. The generally agreed ‘sweet spot’ is 1-1.5k words, 3 times a week, but this depends heavily on individual style. I update once or twice a week (depending on what stories I’ve got going) and try to keep my chapters between 2 and 2.5k words. If you update once a month, your sweet spot is probably about 10k words.

Don’t hold religiously to what other people tell you the ideal word count is – this will vary drastically with genre and personal style – but it’s best to try to stay fairly consistent. It’s not always possible to stay exactly on target because the best break points between chapters will vary (I’ve got 1.8k chapters and 3.5k chapters), but readers like to be able to predict about how long an update will be and they like it to not vary too wildly too often. As with choosing your update schedule, choosing your chapter length will depend on what suits your personal schedule, and what suits the story you’re writing.

“The shorter the chapter, the more frequent the updates” is a good rule for attracting the widest audience. Short, infrequent chapters will have a lot of readers losing interest between updates; long, frequent ones will have a lot of readers feeling overwhelmed. But the most important thing is finding something that you can consistently output year after year (remember, it took me 4 years to make $100/month; this is a long game).

3. It’s a TV show, not a movie

This advice is less useful in our age of Marvel movie franchises and made-to-binge Netflix series, so pretend I’m talking to you in the year 2010 or earlier. If a novel is a movie, a web serial is a TV show. What I mean by that is that a novel is shaped primarily as a complete experience, whereas a web serial is shaped as a chapter-by-chapter experience.

It’s best, in both cases, to have a well structures and paced story that is made of well structured and paced chapters. But sometimes you have to choose between the structure or a chapter and the structure of the story as a whole; making one better will cheapen the other. When you’re writing a novel, you should choose the structure of the whole, but when you’re writing a web serial, you should choose the structure of the chapter. Web serial readers will prefer a chained series of excellent chapters, over a beautiful story of chapters with mediocre individual structure.

In fact, whether you want a structure to the overall story at all is personal taste. My stories have strong overall structure and move towards a planned conclusion because that’s how I prefer to write (and it also makes the story bingeable, since it’s basically a novel being released really slowly), but plenty of web serials out there have no real planned ending and will wander about for years and years in no obviously consistent direction, occasionally throwing in a big twist or major change to freshen things up. These would make absolutely horrible novels, but make very popular web serials. Whether you write like me or like them, the rule is the same – the experience of each individual chapter takes priority.

Come to think of it, this might be why people call my stories “ADHD crack”…

4. Okay, so how do I structure a good chapter?

I generally try to do three things in every chapter.

- Hit the ground running

- Give them something new

- End on an open question

Hit the ground running – Unless it’s the very first chapter of the story, you don’t have to be coy getting into the action. Open the chapter as if it’s the middle of the chapter; start at full momentum. Catch the high point of the last chapter before it falls. It your last chapter ended with “We checked the fingerprints on the candlestick. It’s Colonel Mustard.” then you can start this one with “But he was in the library at the time!”, you don’t need to recap or slow down or anything.

Give them something new – Every chapter should give the reader at least one thing to talk and think about. A new choice, some new information, a shift in perspective, whatever. People are reading these updates one at a time so it is vital that they feel like they got something out of the experience. A chapter in which nothing is learned will make readers feel like their time was wasted, and they have all the time until next update to reflect on that.

This is also true of a novel, but it’s much more critical in a web serial. A novel with nothing chapters in it is just frustratingly slow-paced; a web serial with nothing chapters in it leaves the reader feeling cheated for long stretches of time.

The thing to talk about doesn’t necessarily have to be a big plot reveal or major advancement. An incredibly cute scene, or sad scene, or funny scene will work just as well. But you have to give them SOMETHING. If you’re giving them nothing, consider cutting the chapter entirely and integrating any important foreshadowing or whatever into the next chapter.

One major hurdle of mine with this rule is recap chapters. If you’re writing a very complex plot over a long period of time, you need ways to occasionally take stock and make sure everyone is on the same page and nobody’s forgotten or misinterpreted anything important. This information can be recapped or conveyed in the middle of an action sequence or something, but I personally find that putting other stuff in the scene makes it too distracting and therefore less effective. I like to literally just sit the heroes down in a room and have them go, “okay, we’re spinning a lot of threads at once right now; what do we know, what are we trying to figure out, and what are our next steps?” This is the literary equivalent of the save point or room full of health packs right before a boss battle. Game designers don’t put that room there to be nice; they do it so that they know exactly how much health you’re going to have going into the battle, and can structure it accordingly.

You can make these chapters entertaining with character banter, but you can’t really introduce new threads to talk about, except possibly as a twist right at the end. Introducing new information mid-recap distracts from the recap and makes it pointless. You might have something similar in your stories, chapters that are essential but don’t give the reader anything new to work with.

My advice for these is to just bite the bullet on this one. Release the chapter with nothing new to talk about. You can get away with doing this occasionally, if the chapter has a clear purpose (I get a lot of readers tell me that they appreciate my recap chapters). Readers who get nothing out of the chapter will shrug and talk about older stuff instead, so long as you only do this occasionally. But a chapter with no new information has a cost in opportunity and in reader patience, so only pay it if the chapter’s worth it.

End on an open question– End the chapter with a reason for the reader to come back. You want them to think about the story afterward and be eager to read the next chapter when it comes out. Adhering to this principle is probably why I have such a reputation for cliffhangers, although truth be told I don’t use nearly as many actual cliffhangers as people say, I just try to end by opening a question. By that I mean, the audience should always end a chapter asking a question, which can be something that will span dozens of chapters (“How can Colonel Mustard’s fignerprints be on the candlestick? Is he being framed? Does this mean that the candlestick was in the library and isn’t even the murder weapon?”) or span a single paragraph (“How will the narrator react to learning that Colonel Mustard lied about never touchign the candlestick?”) This could be the emotional height of a scene, or the point at which new information recontextualises everything. It could be the moment where the stakes are raised or an important assumption turns out to be false. Anything that makes the audience eager to learn what happens next will do.

There should always be at least one open question in your story, more if it’s thematically appropriate. You know how mmorpgs and crafting games and suchlike keep you playing for hours and hours by making sure you’re always near the end of an activity – keep playing til you reach the next level, oh but now we’re nearly at the end of this quest so we should complete that, oh but now we’re just 20 gold short of being able to buy that cool new armour so we should just… same trick. Readers should always have at least one ‘quest’, an open question that they’re following, and should always be close to an answer.

You don’t have to dramatically introduce an entirely new question each time; you can end a chapter by reminding the reader of an existing open question. I tend to be a fan of the Big Dramatic Reveal On The Last Line method (cliffhanger reputation), but you don’t have to do it that way. Indeed, it’s a good idea not to do it that way every single time, lest you get stuck in a rut; every chapter ending doesn’t have to be incredibly tense and snappy. Somebody mentioning that they wish they knew how they could get enough food to make it through the winter before a full paragraph of cuddling and falling asleep in their mother’s arms works just as well.

5. It will help if your story is good, but it isn’t required.

You don’t have to be very good at writing to do this.

It helps to be good at writing, of course, and I assume that since you’re asking me for tips, you’re the sort of person who wants to be as good at writing as you can. But there is some true hack garbage out there doing absolute numbers in the web serial circuit. I try not to harp on about this too much because Curse Words fans get really upset at me when I do, but I think most of us can agree that Curse Words kind of sucks. And that just sucks in an ‘author is still learning how to do this’ kind of way; there’s much worse writing, real bullshit Ready Player One-level writing, trucking along out there brilliantly.

The point I’m trying to make here is that this isn’t an industry where there’s any value in hesitating and wringing your hands and asking yourself if you’re a good enough writer to do it yet. You are. You can just start writing a web serial right now and so long as you consistently update, you’re probably already above average for the market. And your first one probably will suck (mine did), but it’ll teach you how to make a better one. I think that Time to Orbit: Unknown is passably okay, and it absolutely would not be passably okay if I hadn’t written Curse Words first. Just go for it. Try to write a quality story if you can, but if you can’t, it’s honestly not that big of a deal. What matters, truly matters, is that you are committed to improving your craft. And that means actually practicing your craft. Which means writing some chapters and setting up a release schedule.

Good luck.

[nsharks]

bleeding blue | part twenty-two preview

Five days. They're still here. You realize what's taking them so long; they're collecting food, drying meat into jerky and simmering wild strawberries into jams that Nereida cans. They have quite a lot of supplies with them. One of Kyle's backpack's is filled with ammo and another is stuffed with medicine. 

Kyle is easy to talk to. Nereida, too. Price—however—seems like he doesn't know what to think of you. Or maybe you're too insignificant to have crossed his mind much. 

That's fair. You don't need to all be friends.

Blue seems to like Ari. He's thirteen, two years older than her, which is evident in the way her head reaches his shoulders. She doesn't even say hi to you in the morning. Instead she shows him all her magazines and even the rabbits. He decides to name one Rocky, a friend for Grim. You can't be bothered; she needs another friend. Ghost isn't keen about them alone together, though. You heard him mutter to Kyle—keep an eye on him, Gaz.

The threat of summer starts to invite more and more sweat down your neck. Your hair has gotten so long. After tossing and turning on Ghost's bedroom floor, it became a nest of tangles. When Nereida, Ari, and Blue go for a dip in the pond, you go with them and soak it, then let the water settle so you can stare at your reflection. Blade sharpened, you saw a few inches off. Better. More practical. 

"I thought you were going to cut more," Blue comments.

"I don't want it that short, or else it's harder to braid."

As the two kids keep swimming, Nereida finds bunches of rosemary and seems more excited than you'd be about it. 

"It helps fight off odors," she explains when you ask. "Like when I have my period, so the Greys can't smell it as much."

When she puts it that way, you grab some, too. Then you start wondering about her and John. Do they have sex? They must. You've seen the way they are. Kisses to their shoulder and neck, arms around each other's waist. You've stared a few times only to catch yourself and quickly look away. How do they avoid pregnancy? You highly doubt either of them want to bring a new child into the world. You wouldn't.

Ari and Blue lay in the sun together. You scoot away to give them space, but overhear some of their conversation, anyway.

"Your dad is so cool."

Blue plays with a piece of her hair. "Oh? You think so?"

"Have you seen him? He's a beast. My uncle told me he got his name because no one could see him coming before he killed them."

"He can be a pain in my ass sometimes," Blue mutters. Her nose scrunches. "But he's taught me a lot of things. I'm pretty good with knives."

"Damn, I gotta see that."

She is beaming. "I'll show you when we get back."

Then, she leans over and whispers something in his ear. Whatever it is, he smiles and shakes his head in response.

She pulls away, sighing. "I wish you guys could just stay here."

Or maybe your dad will make us go with them, you think to yourself. In a way, it's comforting, that he is secretive with her, too. He still hasn't brought up the topic again. Either he hasn't decided, or he doesn't actually plan on keeping you updated. You try your best not to ruminate, but it's hard not to, especially when you have a hard time falling asleep on floorboards and are left with your thoughts in the dark. 

Which is why you're not feeling thrilled by the time you go into his room. He's already lying in bed, one hand bent behind his head while the other props open a book. He looks comfortable. Almost normal, even.

"How do you sleep with the mask on?" you remark, kicking off your shoes. 

His eyes lift from the page briefly. "Like a baby."

"How come Kyle has seen you without it and not me?"

His jaw flexes. "Jealousy doesn't suit you, Twix."

"And mental sanity doesn't suit you."

A light huff. Then, "Nice haircut."

When the room is dark, Ghost must get tired of hearing you toss and turn. He flicks on the small lamp, and you squint from the sudden light, stuffing the pillow over your head. There's shuffling before a hand rips the pillow from your face and tosses it onto the bed.

"Just get in the fucking bed. I won't bite." The sight of him standing above you, sweatpants low on his hips, consumes your vision. His voice is low but demanding.

"What, together?"

"I want good sleep. M'not going to get it on the floor, or listening to you up all night, so get in." His eyes peer down at you, half-lidded, before he lowly adds, "I'll be a gentleman, if you're worried."

You lift up and ignore the offer of his hand. "I'm not worried."

To protest would be embarrassingly juvenile when both him and you know you want to sleep there. Yet—your heart thickens. He watches as you crawl into the bed where the ceiling slants, tucking yourself under the quilt and curling against the very edge so that your knees float over it. The springs groan to your left and then heady warmth spills over you. Ghost keeps to his side, flat on his back, with his hands lying on his chest. His elbow pokes into your back no matter how carefully you try to inch away, and his thigh just barely brushes against your backside. 

The bastard doesn't say a word, nor does he make an effort to give you more space so you screw your eyes shut and fall asleep to the sound of his breathing. 

[strcwberi]

VIVA LA VIDA, mark lee smau ᵎ

Lee Mark, a rather reserved music major with a passion for songwriting but zero performance experience, is infatuated with one of the 'it' girls of KGU — Kim Minjeong. The solution to his crush of two years? Starting a band, of course! Alas, that needs more than a will and one decent vocalist of a friend.

That's where you come into the equation—a quiet nursing major with eleven years of playing the keyboard under your belt and a knack for making sense of anything that comes out of Mark with zero brain to mouth filter guised as creative vision.

And the fact that you've had the biggest crush on him since freshman year? Pssh— nobody will ever know anyway!

GENRE .. fluff, angst, slowburn, comedy, humor, non-idol au, college au, band au

WARNINGS .. cursing, some inappropriate jokes, reader is way too nice and it most often backfires on her, mark is painfully oblivious (so is reader actually). t.w: haechan and yangyang lmao they just can't win :) mark has a huge crush on winter but it goes nowhere. some side ships amongst idols but i do not ship them irl.

PLAYLIST .. paradise – chase atlantic, belong together – mark ambor, false confidence – noah kahan, roses – jenna raine, a bar song (tipsy) – shaboozey, stargazing – myles smith, in your hands – halle, last man standing – livingston, fire and the flood – vance joy, cake by the ocean – dnce, moves like jagger – maroon 5, beside you – keshi, up – sing street.

STATUS .. ongoing [i'm writing as i go so updates will be sporadic but there will be at least two chapters a week]

TAGLIST .. open

profiles: not today satan | wtf is going on

01. not very chill guy of you 🤨

02. looking a lot like an intrusive thought

03. hear ye, hear ye fuckers‼��

04. can i say "this was a dumb idea" yet?

05. sometimes u just take a breath and jump off a cliff

06. soz too gassed to hear the peasants 🗣

07. what in the multiverse is this shit???

08. stan single people, ya'll are the only real ones

09. slip, slay, overshare, repeat

10. this was not on my bingo card i fear

11. avoidant is my middle name

12. there are bigger, tastier fish to fry!

13. the world is full of freeloaders

14. making you scream till you cry 🤪

15. my masterplan is called "fake it till you make it"

to be added . . .

taglist .. @lo-la17 @ddolbyong @remgeolli @daryaa8a @kittydollzz @n0hyuck @worldwidecutiemaya @swanyvess @jeonghansshitester

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Meet the Family 8

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your boss needs a last-minute favour for the holidays.(petite!reader)

Characters: Lloyd Hansen

Note: I'm going to be starting my advent drabbles for December today so enjoy.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

You moan at the firm swirl of fingertips against your temples. Lloyd’s hands are so big and warm that they soothe the virulent pulsing, just enough. Your toes curl and you push your skull into his grasp as you sink into the bed. 

“See, Pixie, not too bad, huh?” He purrs. You groan. He needs to just shut up. “I’ve been told I have very skilled hands, you know?” 

“Lloyd, please,” you mutter. 

“Please what? You want more?” He taunts and rocks his hips so his crotch rubs against your stomach. 

You try to shake your head but can’t in his grip. You swat his knee and grumble, “not that.” 

“Ah, come on, pixie, I can be quick but efficient,” grazes his nails over your scalp and you shudder at the cool sensation it sends through your hot skull. “You got goosebumps. I’m getting you there.” 

“No...” you murmur. 

“Mmm, yes. You don’t gotta do nothing. I’ll lick you like popsicle and you’ll melt--’ 

You flick your eyes open as a twinge pinches in your core. That’s not because of him. It’s just your biology responding to the physical stimulation. A dollar store massage pad could do the same thing. You grab his wrists and narrow your eyes. 

“Stop. I’m too tired and miserable--” you whimper at the effort it takes to speak, “to keep arguing with you.” 

“So don’t. Just let daddy Lloyd take over, baby cakes.” 

“Daddy Lloyd?” You hiss and wince at the rattle in your skull. “You’re disgusting.” 

“And you’re just like jelly in my hands. How about this, pixie dust, you just try to stop me. I think that will be fun.” He slackens his hold on your head and caresses your cheeks. Another shiver rolls over you. 

Your hands brush over his as he glides past easily. He tickles your neck and you squirm as he moves back slightly. He walks his fingers along your shoulders then grips them tightly, pushing his thumbs into your muscles. You nearly choke as you feel the tension dislodge as he kneads. 

You put your hand on his stomach and let out a wispy noise. Oh. No. It’s not that good. Oh but it is. 

“See, baby, just a toy for good boy Lloyd,” he slithers. 

You take and breath and curl your fingertips in the muscles of his torso. You’re no virgin, not some untouched nun, but it’s been as while and the feel of warm flesh plucks something deep in you. That tugging is just as much an adversary as the man who has you pinned to the bed. 

Lloyd’s fingertips continue to rub, and roll, and raze your skin. He shifts his hands along your chest and drags them over the rise of your tits. He gropes you through your bra. You bare your teeth and latch onto his middle fingers as you try to peel him away. 

“No, Lloyd--” 

“Shhhh,” he hushes you. 

He raises himself slightly on his knees and slips his hands away from your doughy flesh. He puts his elbows on either side of you, using them to support his weight as he spreads himself over you. Panic swells as you’re trapped under his tall figure. He slips his hands free and frames your sides instead, dipping his head down to bury between your cleavage. 

“Nope!” Your adrenaline spikes, and the yelp reverberates in your head like the clang of a bell. “Lloyd, no! You’re not—Ayeeeee.” 

He bites into the meat of your tit and you hit the top his head. He doesn’t react, only sinking his teeth deeper with a growl. You grab the longer strands of his hair and yank meanly. He grunts and recoils, leaving a throbbing imprint on you. 

“Ow! Don’t fuck with my hair, Pix--” 

“I’m telling you to stop--” You push yourself up on one elbow. 

“You’re moaning like a neglected housewife while you’re doing it. It’s a bit confusing--” 

“Is the word no that unclear to—you,” you put your hand to your forehead at the tick above your eye. You grit your teeth and snarl. 

“I’m trying to help you. Can’t you see that?” He shoves you back down. “I’m not going to put it in, promise. I just want a taste of the pixie pie--” 

He moves back to kneel between your legs. As he grips your hips and holds you down, your anger overwhelms that worrying tingle in your thighs. He bends as his fingertips curl under your panties and you bring your knee up into his ribcage. 

He coughs and pushes himself away. He touches his side and hisses, “Goddamnit.” 

“My head’s about to split and you’re trying to--” you gulp back the words as your cloudy dismay clears to horror. What was he going to do? How far was he going to go? 

“Babe, my balls are about to split open,” he whines. “I was only going to be nice. Get you a little O before the big flight.” 

You stare at him. Who the hell is this man? This isn’t Mr. Hansen and his curt emails and short commands. This isn’t the man who wanted his coffee with a single cream and his daily calendar colour coded. This is an animal. 

Ugh, you knew better than to blur the line of personal and professional. Too bad, he doesn’t. Two million dollars. That little chant is not as encouraging the further you get into this, especially as you realise, this is only the beginning. 

“Come on, baby, we can do it all over the clothes--” 

“Get away from me,” you sit up with a huff, your whole body rebelling at the effort. “I have enough to worry about without you all over me.” 

“Aw, please,” his eyes fall to your chest and flicker. You look down and sigh, one of your nipples peeking out above the bra cup. You fix it and shove him again. “Even the girls are tryna get out--” 

“Sleep on the floor,” you sneer as you turn your legs over the edge of the bed. You stand and go to your bag, unzipping it as you nearly topple over. Your head is a maelstrom. You take out a loose tee and leggings and quickly dress. 

As you turn back, Lloyd watches you with a pout. It’s disarming how he can go from pathetic to putrid and predatory. You near the bed and go around the other side. You take a pillow and throw it at his back. He sighs and stands up. He ignores the pillow and pulls back the blanket. 

“No--” 

“Hey, promise, I’ll keep my hands to myself,” he snaps. “I’m not sleeping on the damn floor. I’m still your boss, Pixie, remember that.” 

You don’t say anything. That’s the Mr. Hansen you know. Demanding. Stubborn. You turn your back to him and stretch out on your side. You cling to the corner of the pillow and close your eyes. 

His weight jostles behind you. He groans and the bed shifts as he leans over. The light shuts off and you nearly sigh at the relief. 

He lays back but doesn’t relax. He fidgets. Tossing and turning, one way then the other. Adjusting the pillows, tugging on the blanket, bouncing the springs. You chew on the urge to bark at him to stop. 

Finally, he stops. You exhale and try to ease your muscles. The tension only feeds the migraine. You focus on your breathing as you try to coax yourself back to sleep. You feel yourself slipping, further and further. A soft drone rises in your ears, rhythmic but harried. 

“Mmm,” the hum breaks through your bubble and frustration sparks in your chest. You were almost asleep. “Mm, yeah, that’s....” Lloyd raspy voice drawls into the darkness between shallow grunts, “fuck--” 

The shaking of the bed spikes your heartbeat. You open your eyes and frown. What is he doing? Is he--” 

“Lloyd!” You spin onto your back and sit up, “Lloyd, stop that--” 

“Fuck yeah, say my name,” he strokes himself furiously. You can vaguely see how the blanket jumps around his frantic motion. “Come on, I’m almost there.” 

“You’re--” 

“Told you,” he groans and pushes his feet into his bed, his knees bend under the blanket, “keeping my hands--- to myself.” 

“Oh, god!” You turn and leap out of bed, stumbling. “Lloyd, you’re disgusting. Nasty--” 

“Keep it coming, pix, it’s helping--” 

“Ew!” You grab the pillow and twist away, stomping out, “absolutely gross!” 

“Ah, yeah, fuck, baby! Thank you....” he voice peters out as you slam the bathroom door, flicking the lock into place. 

You wince at the impact against the frame and sway in the dark. You throw the pillow into the tub and grab the robe hung on the back of the door. Fuck it. You give up. You don’t even want to sleep anymore, you just want to be left alone. 

❄️

Your alarm wakes you through the wall. You’re stiff and sore, but your migraine has relented. The few hours were enough to push it back to a tenuous shadow. One wrong move and it’ll be back. 

You climb out of the tub and turn on the shower. You wash quickly, minding the time, and get ready in the mirror, wearing the same robe you slept under. You emerge to the rocky snoring. You turn on all the lights but Lloyd remains unbothered. 

You grab clothes, a black turtleneck and the same shade of cigarette pants. You dress in the bathroom then zip up your toiletry pouch. You come out to shove it into your suitcase and scour the room for anything forgotten.  

As a final touch, you return to the bathroom and take one of the paper cups and fill it. You go quietly to the bed and tip it over Lloyd’s naked back, exposed above above the messy blankets. He squeals and bounces to life, flipping over as the rest of him is revealed to the room. You avert your eyes at his nakedness. 

“What the fuck?” He snarls sleepily, “what are you doing?” 

“Time to get up, Lloydy poo,” you clap at him. “We got a plane to catch.” 

“Why the fuck would you do that?” 

“What? I'm helping you wake up. Like a good wife, right?” 

He goes to argue then hesitates. He moves the blankets and coughs. He blinks and rubs his eyes. “What time is it?” 

“Well, it’s time enough. You have thirty minutes to get it together, babykins.” 

He winces at your tone. He stares at you as you grin. He moves cautiously toward the edge of the bed. 

“What’s... you did something?” 

“No,” you answer flatly. 

“But...” he eyes you suspiciously. 

“I’m just playing my part,” you say. “Like we agreed. Not everyone is morally debunked like you, my beloved.” 

“Stop it,” he says. 

“Stop what, my manly man. The twinkle in my eye. My other half.” 

“All of that. I don’t like how you’re saying it,” he stands and hides his crotch with his hands. 

“Stop? Oh, teddy bear, we don’t know that word, do we? Stop? What could that possibly mean?” 

“Alright, I get it. You’re mad about last night--” 

“I’m not mad, sweetie, I’m concerned because if you don’t get yourself together, we’re going to miss another flight and if I miss this flight, well, I think I might just lose my mind,” you smile, “you don’t want that now, do you, snookums.” 

“You...” he turns back to you, “you’re a bit deranged sometimes.” 

“Speak for yourself, sugar,” you march up to him, your anger fuming like smog in your nostrils, and you pinch his naked ass. “Get into gear,” your voice deepens, “now.” 

He yelps and pulls away. He looks at you like he’s been splashed with cold water a second time and he swallows tightly. His brows arch as he gapes at you. He keeps one hand over his pelvis and reaches back to rub his ass. 

“Damn, Pixie,” he finally backs off, “you’re something else.” 

“I’m exhausted and I’m annoyed, so don’t push me.” You warn him. 

“Yeah, well, better get this all out now. I’m sure the family doesn’t need you spoiling the holiday cheer.” 

“Me?” You hiss. 

He blanches, “I meant... er...” 

“Go,” you snap your fingers and put your back to him. “I gotta get all this in the car.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he says and you listen to him retreat into the bathroom. 

You get your bags to the door then grab your boots and jacket. Your agitation buzzes just under your skin. You have the flight to rein it in. It won’t be easy like Lloyd’s family. They don’t know you, so you can pretend with them. But your family, well, you are related to them. You share quite a few traits. 

And Lloyd. You can’t have him running round like some goblin wreaking havoc. This whole thing is his idea and yet he doesn’t seem to know the script. He’s unpredictable and uncontrollable. He’s not the type your family would expect. That’s because he isn’t your type. Never in a million years would you choose him. 

You take your bags down to the car and return to the hotel room. Lloyd is half-dressed. A pair of lamb grey pants on as he pulls on a white turtleneck with a silver emblem on the left side of his chest. The clothes won’t help the theatrics. 

You gather up his clothes from the day before. You shove them into his large suitcase. “Is that everything?” 

“I think, I just have my essentials,” he says. “Gotta style the love stache.” 

“Go,” you wave him away. 

“Thank you, honey boo, I know. I do look handsome in this, don’t I?” He taunts. You look at him with all the lack of sleep and rage festering in you from the last two days. He recoils and puts his palms up, “right, I’ll doll myself up.” 

You wait for him to disappear back into the bathroom before you drag his bags to the door. You’ll leave them there so he can pack away whatever else he has out. You go to the bed and sit, running your hands over your face. 

This isn’t just about getting through today. After the bullshit he promised his family, this is going to be months of torment. You don’t know if you have the willpower to put up with him for that long. 

[simp-ly-writes]

The Comments Section (pt.8)

─────── · · A Social Media AU Fic

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: after taking some time away from the spotlight, you return to surprise friends and fans alike with your more recent updates...

─ · · TAGS: gender-neutral pronouns, slowburn, fluff, light angst, cheesiness, friends that act like lovers, friends to lovers, mutual pining, attempt at humour, social media au.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | PART SIX | PART SEVEN | PART NINE

─ · · A/N: can't believe its been over a month since the last update, sorry about that y'all 😬 but hope you enjoy this part!

─────── · ·

🔔 (name)s_username just posted for the first time in awhile.

─────── · ·

Liked by co_mill, spennser, sydney_sweeney, and others

(name)s_username Hey... so it's been awhile. I've taken time away from the internet and from the cameras to focus on myself and on my relationships and in that time I realized how far I was pushing myself and other's away from me.

I will be taking a step away from my on-screen role(s) at Smosh since it is not fair to you, the fans or to anyone working at Smosh to work around my schedule. I will try and make guest appearances if I can and I'm sorry if I ever got your hopes up for things to go back to where they started but I hope that at least some of you will come out to support my new projects and I understand fully if you cannot.

Thank you to my team, my friends at Smosh, Sydney and Glen, and to Spencer for always being there for me. I know that I have not been myself these past few months but I think I'm finally finding what I need so stay tuned for a more happy update later lol.

Love you all!

View all 7,342 comments

username01 Always supported you and always will, (name)! Hope you find what you're looking for 💕

co_mill gonna miss having you, bestie! But I can already see how much happier you are and that makes me happy! 😊

↳ (name)s_username you're so sweet. I'll miss you too, bestie! 🥹🫶

username44 eh, still does not make up for everything. I felt like you used Spencer and Smosh to make your "career."

username70 Mixed feeling about this but wishing you the best!

anthonypadilla your dads are here to give you a virtual hug goodbye, so here it is!

↳ ian_hecox yeah, best hug you ever had here: ↳ (name)s_username I can feel it! 🤣

username22 I don't know about you, but I'm feeling dust in my eyes! I'm sad to see (name) go but if they can be like an Olivia or Keith- I can live with that ❤️

angelagiovanagiarratana wait so you're LEAVING? WTF GUYS why does nobody ever tell me anything?!? Like good for you bestie, you get that mental health back on track but seriously? I had to come here from twitter to learn this 😭

↳ (name)s_username Girl! I left you a voice memo yesterday 👀 ↳ angelagiovanagiarratana oh shit, I thought that was spam 😬 ↳ username30 OMG LMAO!!! 🤣

username88 I was so worried about you! Happy to know you're back on the up and up again 💕

shayne_topp you're gonna kill it out there but you'll always have a seat at smosh cast to tell me and Amanda all about it!

↳ (name)s_username give me a month or two and I will be there lol ↳ shayne_topp counting on it!

filmingamanda happy post you say? 😉

tomeybones who's gonna cry with my in the bathroom now??

spennser 🫶

↳ (name)s_username 🫶

─────── · ·

🔔 SmoshGames just uploaded! Turn off notifications here.

─────── · ·

Thank you (Name)!

Smosh Games ✓ [Subscribed] 👍 4k | 👎 7.75M subscribers 1.1M views 2 days ago #2 on trending a complication of (name) moments from over the years... click to expand

5,992 Comments

⚲ Pinned by Creator Smosh Games ✓ From a decade of on and off-camera shenanigans, everyone here at Smosh wishes (name) the very best! (even though we are jealous others get to work with them too). Be sure to comment your favourite memory/moment of (name)!

username01 this feels like a bad break-up since you're still in love with them lol 😭

↳ username61 you know that this is going to happen with everyone one day but you never expect today. fuck i'm going to miss them. * [this comment has been censored for interfering with Youtube's Community Guidelines; for more information press HERE]

username30 everyone is out here acting like they died. PEOPLE (NAME) IS GOING TO COME BACK FOR SPECIALS DONT WORRY! god.

username24 I still think back to that hide and seek video, I hope that future update comfirms (yourshipname) for good!

username77 "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"

username11 (name) falling over and accidentally discovering what is cake by face plant will never not be the best moment on this channel 🤣

username40 where are all the "#imdonewith(name)" people now?? Sure to have changed their tune quickly...

(yourshipname)updates ✓ any moment with (name) and Spencer is a certified classic for Smosh. I mean they are the Shayne and Courtney of nerds.

username09 I was so scared that (name) was going to fall into that Hollywood lifestyle... happy yo know that they're still there.

username52 "this isn't goodbye, it's see you later" - and I'm counting on it for (name)'s return!

─────── · ·

🔔 (name)s_username just posted, check it out!

─────── · ·

Liked by spennser, ian_hecox, tomeybones and others

(name)s_username good company, 9/10, could have talked more about movies but was too caught up on video games. idk if I would recommend for anyone else 😬

View all 3,229 comments

username01 (name) be having the most aesthetic blog possible in this new era and I'm here for it 💕

spennser decided to take out the image of my soul-crushing win?

↳ (name)s_username no! I left it in right beside you almost face planting if you scroll to the left 😄 ↳ spennser ☹️ ↳ (name)s_username 😂 ↳ username40 I seriously cannot tell if this is a soft launch or them just being dumbasses again...

username80 just two friends spending casual friend time together... right? right? right? 👀

damien_Hass why wasn't I invited??? you know how much I love bowling!

↳ (name)s_username next time 100%!

filmingamanda I think I used to work in a bowling alley... then again maybe it was mini golf place. Anyways cute pictures!!

username30 eh, I'll count this as a win for (yourshipname).

username00 WHY ARE WE ALL SO CALM, THIS IS A SOFT LAUNCH PEOPLE. A. SOFT. LAUNCH. You heard it here first, folks!

username11 waiting on Spencers post now to confirm it but AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. Has the angst finally stopped for some fluff???

username16 Love how all the regular comments are being stationed at the top for us shippers to be down in the trenches analyzing every image.

username19 " idk if I would recommend for anyone else..." mhmm yup, you take that man!

─────── · ·

🔔 This post is getting a lot of likes! Check it out!

─────── · ·

Liked by (name)s_username, anthonypadilla, filmingamanda and others

spennser do the math- the answer's probably right.

View all 7,002 comments

(name)s_username so lets see here, college meet-up + years working together - a few years and months apart x some texts = ...

↳ spennser I mean I would format it a bit differently but I came to the same conclusion 🤷 ↳ username60 now they are just playing with us, what is this curelty??!?! Spit. it. out. already. please!

username24 so the answer I got was "and then they kissed," am I right?

username00 I've always hated math.

↳ tomeybones fuck! someone already took my caption!

co_mill the math is mathing so hard rn.

shayne_topp so... beopordy (math edition) next?

username01 only real fans will remember that 1st picture 🫶

filimgamanda I've never felt older in a comment's section till now, WTF is a "soft launch"

↳ ian_hecox ummm, its when Nasa tries to send off something or something like that ↳ filimgamanda oh, okay! ↳ username40 its like watching two robots communicate with one another 😭 ↳ username10 not another Harambe situation again!!

username43 Alexa? please order me another three bottles of wine. we're gonna need them...

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: only two more parts to go!

─ · · SPENCER AGNEW TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios @thejourneyneverendsx @sibsteria @lizzylynch1 @babble2 @delaneyburghardt @thevintagefangirl @uniquely-haunting @maricarorp @sarahskywalker-amidala @laurasdrey

[kooksbunnnn]

Hold My Hand: 2

Previous chapter series masterlist

Pairing: Taehyung× fem!reader

Warnings for the chapter: slight angst, college au, slightly suggestive, fluff, kissing, slight violence, bullying mentions, they're not too young in this series, probably around 25.

Words: 1.8k approx

Summary: Experiencing their first fight but they just wanna make up.

Author's note: EARLY UPDATE! this is slightly inedited so please forgive any mistakes. ALSO, DO YOU GUYS WANT A TAGLIST FOR THIS STORY? ___________________________________________

As you stand in the entryway of your apartment, one hand holding the door, you just stare. Stare at the drenched figure standing in front of you.

Your eyes lock with his, and he sighs, seeing how you're tearing up seeing him at your doorstep. He suddenly remembers how you both never even imagined that you would fall so madly for each other.

Back when he thought you were the annoying uptight classmate and he was, well, himself. Arrogant, pompous, rich, handsome, and senior at your university. Your story was a very cliché one where he just saw you as a nerdy junior while he was what everyone wanted to be, successful, charming and top of the class but right now he feels he couldnt give two shits about what he was because he is the reason behind what he loathes the most, your tears.

He never envisioned that the first argument would be over such a small thing, well, small for him because he would do this again and again and again until he feels like he doesnt need to do it again.

But the thing is, you feel mad because he could've been arrested. He felt mad because he couldn't beat the living crap outta the guy more than he already did. You see his brusied lip and let out a resigned sigh, tsking you step aside, letting him step inside as well.

"You could've gotten arrested!"

"I dont give a single fuck, baby."

"They have called you over at the dean's, what if you get suspended! "

"I dont give. A. fuck."

You remember him saying that before he walked out of the building to the deans office. You felt mad at the moment. You felt mad at him, but you were mainly mad at the whole situation.

The thing is, Taehyung really didnt give two flying fucks about the dean or the guy ending up with stitches. He did what he had to. The little brusie on your head made his blood boil again and he felt like the whole incident flashed before his eyes. You, on the floor, the table your head hit on flipped by your side, your friends trying to shield you while that asshole smirking at your fallen figure.

His fingers reach out to your bruise at the same time your hand lifted to his lip. You graze his cut and sigh, the blood slightly crusted on his skin as you both wince at the touch.

"He is probably being suspended."

You had heard some students talking, and you felt your heart clench because he had his mid sems coming.

Pulling onto his sleeve, you bring him further inside, no words exchanged, just the little pitter patter of the rain on the windows. If you knew he would lash out, you would've tried anything to avoid the whole incident. Maybe you wouldn't have confronted the guys about the bullying you heard on campus. Maybe you wouldnt have confronted the guy about him bullying your friend, maybe you wouldn't have told him you would complain because the next moment you were on the ground and the other moment the guy was getting punched, the guy underneath him with a bloody jaw and nose.

His friends tried to pull him away when they saw the blood on Taehyung's fist. When they did, you took his hand and pulled him into the corridor, noticing how the students were filming and some were calling the teachers.

"You can't just punch him like that, you cant stoop to his level!"

Thats what you said and Taehyung had scoffed.

"Might as well break his nose again."

He had said it with the blood of the bully on his hand. So fucking worth it, he thought.

He was later called into the dean's office as you decided to wait outside. Although he had told you to leave, you waited and waited until you received his text to go home where he'll come and meet you since it was getting dark outside and you used to walk home.

Taehyung (05:17): go, baby. please

The clock ticked louder every second as you both stood in silence, you werent mad at him. You just felt guilty for the things he faced today, and taehyung hated that you felt this way.

You took him to the bedroom where he left his clothes in the last time he stayed over. You had them washed and dried and folded into a neat pile into your closet. He found your organizing adorable. You picked out a comfortable outfit for him so that he could change his wet clothes, offering him a towel along with it.

He smiled at how thoughtful you were and smiled. "Baby..." he started with a fond expression. You looked away as you felt your eyes well up. You felt so bad that he had to miss his mid sems because of you because of the suspension.

He was the best student in his batch and now you were the reason he couldnt get his desired grade. Taehyung ruffled your hair as you sniffed,

"It's okay...theyre just internals, I'll do better next sem, baby." He says as you sniff again, and Taehyung kisses the top of your head, his height almost a head taller than you.

He did what he had to, he doesnt care he got suspended, he doesnt care his lip is brusied, he doesnt care the teachers arent happy about him missing his classes, he is just glad he beat the fucker who laid his hands on you and if you ask him, he'll do it again.

"Change your clothes, baby." You say sniffing and turning around to give him some privacy. He saw you turning and smiled when he noticed you chewing onto your nails nervously. He shakes his head with a chuckle, seeing that you still feel shy around him.

Clicking his tongue, he gently grabs your waist and turns you around.

You turn around, humming in question as you notice the look in his eyes. You look up nervously, eyes looking into his, widening slightly when you notice his hands going for his drenched t-shirt. The moonlight reflecting against his skin made him seem like the water droplets were glistening as they clung to his skin.

He held your gaze as if challenging you to move your eyes, you couldn't, and you didn't.

Taking off his t-shirt torturously slow, he steps closer. Your eyes flicker to his bare torso, cheeks blushing when you realize he noticed your gawking. The fact that this man had the power to make you nervous no matter how many times you have made out with him, straddled his lap, got pinned underneath him, or borderline dry humped each other. He still made you nervous.

Although you both had decided to take things slow because he knew he could be a little overwhelming sometimes so he let you set the pace, but sometimes..

He was a grown up, not a teenager but sometimes when you blushed under his gaze, wore that little sundress, wore that perfume, put your hair in a ponytail, put on his favorite gloss, pout in concentration while you studied, sometimes he felt his control slipping.

The things he wants to do to you would overwhelm the shit outta you right now, so he grits his teeth as you shy away underneath his gaze right now. His thumb slips into the waistband of his joggers slowly pushing them down to relief his hard on, his other hand reaching up to your jaw.

He feels you gulp as his thumb traces your neck while his palm holds your jaw gently. Your breathing turns slightly heavy when he parts your lips and you let out a whimper, his thumb reaching for your bottom lip, nastily pressing onto the plush of your lip to part them further apart.

Fuck. You both think.

"Tae.." You whisper breathlessly, gaze flicking down to his thumb hooked into his joggers, and he groans, tightening his hold slightly on your jaw.

"Give me a minute, baby. I'll meet you in the lobby after I change." He says, pulling his hand back reluctantly as you nod, slight disappointment on your face at his hand pulling back but you understand. Slow.

You take a step back but step closer again, staring at him for a sec contemplating how to say what you want to say, "um.." you hesitate, and he hums in question, encouraging you to continue.

"I...wanted to thankyou.." you whisper looking at your feet.

"Baby you dont have to-"

"I do, taehyung. No one has ever stood up for me this way, ever so..." you say looking up and tip toeing to his height, kissing his lips gently.

Hands curled by your side, you tilt your head deepening the kiss. You hear him take a sharp breath you nibble on his lip, loosing yourself in the feeling, you gain balance by gripping the sides of his joggers. Your fingers grazing his waist slightly as you hear him take a deep breathe before pulling you towards him with a whine. A whine.

He pulls you in by your waist and squeeze your hip, you mewl into his mouth making his push his tongue inside. You wanna feel his body so bad, touch him all over, but you refrain. The day has been stressful for the both of you and even though you both could help each ither with the stress, you knew you both need some calm.

Some other day.

As he pulls away with a wet smack, he smiles, seeing how you chased his lips. He gently bites down onto your jaw, and you whimper.

"So..thankyou." you smile seeing him pant after the kiss and he smiles back resting his firehead against yours.

He feels like his heart might burst due to the love he feels for you, the urge to protect you from the world making him hold you waist tighter.

"Go baby, I'll come cuddle you in just a minute." He says, nudging his nose into yours as you nod still fiddling with the fabric of his pockets. You turn around and smile, "dont take long.."

"I wont." He says

The whole day felt like a fever dream to you, so many layers and so many things happening at once. Your gaze fixed on your already open laptop on the table in your living room, the netflix screen staring at you asking to choose an account to start the app.

You feel so safe with him it makes you scared, the what ifs, the insecurities, the past break ups make you feel scared. He might make sure that its okay, you just hope this doesnt affect anything in the future.

Your zoned out brain shivers out of the trance when you feel Taehyung squeeze your nape massaging it almost making you moan, he sits next to you, cuddly and warm, hair slightly damp but still the coziness he provided was better than any blanket you had.

"It's gonna be okay..." He whispered into your hair.

And even though the day didn't go according to how you wished or imagined to be, but in his arms, you believe that everything will surely be okay.

__________________________________________

Requests regarding the scenerios you would want me to write about this couple are always welcome but please know that I cant write it as instantly I recieve it, I will try but please stay patient. Love you all!🩷

[bb-bugspot]

The (My) NorthStar [Part 1]

(This was made with a few brainstorming ideas I had with @mas-away , go follow them right now and check their art!!)

After Hermes helped Odysseus leave the island of Calypso, and their talk while he was on his raft, he had gathered a bit of wood that he didn’t need and had decided to carve a little NorthStar of the size of his palm.

It was far from being as perfect as he wanted, but there wasn’t much he could do when being in the middle of the sea while trying to escape Poseidon and also keeping an eye out for possible dangers.

By the time he was done, it was already the second day being in the sea and knew that Hermes would visit later to bring him some food, something good he hopes, he’s been missing Ithaca’s dishes but he would soon be able to have them again.

After waiting for what felt hours upon hours, Hermes finally made his appearance with his characteristic giggle, swooping down and picking him up by the armpits and flying up in the air before going back down to let him back in solid surface.

“Hello there, my dear great-grandson.” The god chirped, watching as the mortal man regained his bearings before looking up at him.

“Hey, Hermes. Here for our daily talk?” He asks with a laugh as he sits down, making sure that his gift is hidden beneath his blanket, thanking to Athena that Hermes had been kind enough to give him one to cover himself in the cold nights.

“Why, but of course! I would never miss them, plus, I have to enjoy our time together before I let you continue your journey.” Hermes mused as he floated above the raft before setting his feet down, sitting cross-legged and making a show with his hands, more for the fun of it than anything, and making some food appear.

“And to feed you. I wouldn’t forget about such an important thing, as much as you’re ruthless, you’re still a mortal and feel hunger.” The dish that had appeared in his hands was none other than an Ithacan dish: Cuttlefish with rice.

Odysseus looked at the dish and swallowed a lump that suddenly formed in his throat, too focused on the food to even see the sympathetic look Hermes was giving him.

The mortal took a breath before rising the fork and taking a bite from the food, chewing, and swallowing before continuing to eat in silence; both him and Hermes stayed quiet about the tears that rolled down his cheek the moment he took the first bite.

After finishing that, keeping the bowl away and taking a moment to calm down, Odysseus sighed and looked at Hermes, who was whistling quietly while poking at a winnion that was in his lap. No doubt, Aeolus would want an update on the winds that were, ahem, borrowed from them, even if that wasn’t the word they would use for their bag being taken by the god of thieves.

Anything to help his family, anyways, so Hermes didn’t really feel guilty about it.

“Hermes.” Odysseus spoke, making the god look up and grin at him, the tooth gap clear and reminding Odysseus of his own when he was younger.

“What’s up, Ody?” He hummed, continuing to poke the winnion before deciding to let it take a small nap in his hands, little enough to fit in them and look almost like a ball of wool rather than a divine creature of the skies.

“I got something for you, like a gift, for so to say.” The mortal commented, although a bit bashful, clearly embarrassed, although by what? Hermes wasn’t sure, there weren’t many things he could be embarrassed about in the middle of nowhere, more so if he was gifting him something.

Which was another thing, what could he possibly gift the god, when not having really anything other than his sword, Athena’s brooch, the wind bag and now a bowl of Ithaca, to which Hermes was sure wouldn’t really survive in his journey.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when the mortal handed him a carved figure, well, not any carved figure, but one of the NorthStar. It was big, although not as big as his own palm but close enough. The rubbed the wood and felt a little something behind, turning it around to see a few words carved on it.

My NorthStar.

The god was at loss of words, looking up at him and back down to the carved star for several times before croaking out: “What is this?”

Odysseus rubbed the back of his head, suddenly feeling very self-conscious and interested in the water. “Well- You said to follow the NorthStar, and, well, back at Circe’s island you also guided me to the right path and helped me save my man, even if that..well, you know.” He cleared his throat, shaking his head and looking back at him with a small huff, tapping his fingers against his thighs in a nervous movement.

“So? Do you like it? It took me quite a while, mostly to carve out the words.” He added with pursed lips.

Hermes stared at him, dumbfounded before his face broke into a grin, a joyus laugh leaving his lips as he threw himself at Odysseus, the man letting out a startled shout as he was suddenly shoved against the raft to then be pulled into the air, twirled around in his great-grandparent’s arms as if he was one of the winnions.

Which reminded him that the poor thing had been sent flying the moment Hermes had made his happiness clear by being loud and quick on his feet.

“Like it? Oh, I love it, Ody! You did such a good job! Surprising, given your current circumstances but nonetheless, I’m very proud of you.” He commented with a giggle, putting him back down on the raft before lifting himself in the air.

“Well, I gotta go now! I must show everyone this little trinket, I’m sure Athena will be jealous!” He cackled before disappearing in a speck of shiny, little sparks around the purple-blue colored powder he left behind him.

Odysseus was, to say the least, baffled for a few seconds before laughing, shaking his head with a sigh as he laid down on his back. Soon enough he would be back home, to his wife and his son, and, hopefully, he could get to talk to Hermes more often too. He was not only part of his family by blood now, no, he was part of his family in his heart and mind too.

[call-me-copycat]

Michi…. Shinsou’s hero name… how are we feeling?? It’s okay but def not what I expected 😭

Leaks for those unaware:

Ok, being a huge MHA fan once I saw an update about Shinso I nearly cried on instinct but now some time has passed I'm able to think about it more

It doesn't seem too bad for a hero name? There's worse after all: Tail Man, Sugar Man, Invisible Girl, Grape Juice, etc

Still, I like to think we as a fandom have grown close to the conjectured name MindJack for him so it's certainly a little unfamiliar

That being said, while I do wish his hero name had something to do a little more with his quirk, I do like the name NightHide (it's cheesy but so are most of the Hero names - look at All Might's!)

It fits the same pattern Horikoshi goes through when he's made most of the other Hero names, which I like because it fits Shinso in just a little more (so nice seeing him not sticking out anymore but now a part of the group)

It also makes sense in hindsight that his hero name doesn't allude to his quirk because the whole point of his quirk is depending on others not knowing what it is

That's why I'm a little confused that he seems to be a Pro Hero instead of an Underground Hero? I feel that with a quirk like his he might be better suited for the Underground life (most would speculate based on his similarities to Aizawa after all)

Maybe he wanted to forge his own path? Maybe he just likes being part of the group? Aizawa only really had Hizashi and Nemuri growing as a hero, so he might've been better suited for the loneliness that came with being an underground hero. Shinso throughout the series seems to always be surrounded by people, so he's probably more used to it than solitude like Aizawa (just speculation)

That being said I definitely liked the Shinso cameo, it made my day (because most of the leaks seemed to bring lots of pain to me ૮( ̳ т ̫ т ̳ )ა)

I might share the rest of the leaks I got from Twitter actually, this is very exciting for me (very exhausting too)

That being said, look at him in the back!

I really hope he kept his original Hero outfit we saw in the anime because I thought that looked fantastic, so that's why I'm a little worried about people talking about how his outfit looks more like Aizawa's (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠)

As much as I like the Aizawa - Shinso dynamic, I want to see Shinso grow! I want to see him carve out his own path in life!

I'm always happy to get Shinso content at this point so I can't be too picky, that being said it's not a bad name at all! (´∇｀)

Edit:

I feel the need to point out in Japanese it'll sound a little different than when it's spoken in English

In English, "Night" and "Hide" sound a little similar, only due to the middle "I"

In Japanese, "Night" will be said similar to "Nai-to" (high to low pitch) and hide will be "hai-do" (since this is also high to low pitch, the D is sharper and sounds similar to the T in "to" in "Nai-to")

It just sounds a little more uniform in Japanese, so I kind of understand why more people are put off by it in standard English

It's an okay name, not bad, and I think it actually fits Horikoshi's habits when it comes to Hero names -⁠ᄒ⁠ᴥ⁠ᄒ⁠-

"SunEater"

"EraserHead"

"All Might"

"Red Riot"

"BackDraft"

Combining 2 English words into 1 typically (obviously with exceptions like "Ingenium" or "Tsukuyomi")

"EdgeShot"

"Loud Cloud"

Overall he's just one to come up with quick, cheesy, partial English names for his characters - I think we've gotten so used to calling these people by their hero names that we forget how odd they must sound to outsiders (I remember thinking "Eraserhead" was a weird name for awhile as a kid actually) (⁠๑⁠¯⁠◡⁠¯⁠๑⁠)

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Ideas #11: DA, but make it Warden!Inquisitor!Hawke 2.0

Or: Having finished Dragon Age: The Veilguard and having a lot of thoughts about it, I decided to update this terrible fic idea to include the events of DA4.

So: How would DA:TV change if were the Champion of Kirkwall and the Hero of Ferelden and the Herald of Andraste?

As background:

Everything goes the same as above, with Fereldan apostate and shepherd Edmund Hawke being mistaken for his Circle-trained second cousin Gregory Amell at Ostagar, running to Kirkwall the moment the Fifth Blight ends, and being shanghaied into saving the world again because of the Breach for the Inquisition. He is thus Hero of Ferelden, Champion of Kirkwall, Herald of Andraste, Inquisitor... and a whole host of other titles he does his best not to think about.

He is also very, very tired of having to save a world that doesn't want to be saved. It's an awful job, but somebody's got to do it and nobody else is stepping up. What started out as genuine love for his home has gained a lot of sunk cost fallacy over the years - though it doesn't help Hawke's case that he's endgame long before DA:I ever starts.

Picking up the extras from the time I tried to write this plot bunny: 1) Bethany learned spirit healing from Anders but could never quite forgive her brother for executing her lover in the hopes of saving the mages at the Gallows. She continued Anders' work in Ansburg, acting as a local agent for the Inquisition but nothing more; 2) Carver joined the Templars, dragged all those he could find unwilling to follow Seeker Lucius to Skyhold, and ended up third-in-command of Inquisition forces; 3) Carver and Merrill started a relationship c. Act 3 of DA2 (with Isabella a frequent casual third) and learned Merrill was pregnant shortly before the Conclave; and 4) Merrill, an actual elf, is the one to drink from the Well of Sorrows.

Which brings us to Trespasser.

The Inquisition's political, social, economic, and military strength at the start of the Exalted Council is breathtaking - easily 10x what it is in canon, given Hawke's extra heroics. Many established powers fear that he'll use this power to turn conqueror, building an Ancient Tevinter-style empire in the south. Those closest to the Inquisitor know Hawke is eager to disband his forces and return to as normal life as possible. (He gives serious thought to taking a leaf out of Cullen's book and raising Mabari on a farm in the middle of nowhere with Fenris.)

Now, when Solas disappeared following the death of Corypheus, Hawke didn't think much of it, as fleeing a Chantry-run organization is what any self-respecting apostate should do once the bad guy is dead. Besides, Hawke found him a little too condescending for someone who's supposedly also a self-taught mage. Learning Solas wants to tear down the Veil feels like a bad joke.

("How about you stop trying to end the world for one minute and try living in it! It's not perfect, but we're trying, and maybe if we got five seconds peace from madmen trying to burn it all we could try to fix some of it!")

Their conversation turns into a terrible 1v1 boss battle.

The sky darkens. The earth quakes. Hawke and Solas rain fire and brimstone down upon each other and neither walks away unscathed (Hawke looses his left hand at the wrist; Solas is blinded in one eye) - but they do manage to walk away.

Hawke vows to stop Solas from tearing down the Veil.

He intends to do this by disbanding the Inquisition and carrying on as he did in the years before the Conclave - running about the Free Marches with a small band of friends and doing what's needed where it's needed. But even at his most optimistic, Hawke knows that's little more than a pipe dream.

King Alistair names Hawke teyrn of Haven, Skyhold, and the surrounding lands. Empress Celene, not to be outdone, names him marquis of the corresponding lands on the Orleasian side. Though it's not his official title, Hawke becomes known as The Lord of the Frostbacks.

And so instead of chasing after Solas directly, Hawke is forced to play politics - converting Skyhold from a war footing to a noble seat, rebuilding Haven, and managing the madness of holding the borderlands for two nations that historically haven’t gotten along. He delegates the business of stopping Solas to his friends.

Varric - now Viscount of Kirkwall - is not his only agent. Pretty much every companion still living from DA:O on has a part, big or small. Varric is just the one that happens to be on hand when Solas starts his ritual.

Rook stops Solas from tearing down the Veil, but releases the last two remaining Evanuris from their prison.

The events of the game largely proceed apace in Northern Thedas, with Rook and their team working to stop the risen gods directly.

(Dealer's choice on Rook's background, but I find myself imagining a tiny, cheerful, ice blond dwarf with a Mourn Watcher background and thick Nevarran accent. Her name is Portia Ingellvar, but Hawke calls her Cassandra and Varric's necromancer love child. This is even funnier if Cassandra named Divine.)

In southern Thedas, things are a different story.

From his seat in the Frostbacks, Hawke leads the fight against the Sixth Blight on two fronts.

Denerim is lost in the first wave, but they hold the line east Redcliffe along the Imperial Highway for months before Elgar'nan brings his dragon to bear. King Alistair dies, heirless, on the same battlefield that took King Calian in a cavalry action that echos the Charge of the Light Brigade in futility, bravery, and cultural impact. The living fall back to the Frostbacks, where only Hawke's lands west of Lake Calenhad remain free of Blight.

Orlais has less Blight but more Venatori. Pockets of cities hold out, but only The Dales and a strip along the coast stretching just past the Imperial Highway remains reliably free of either. Gaspard, a brilliant tactician for all his bluntness, leads a brilliant march north from Val Royeaux. He makes it all the way to Andoral's Reach before Elgar'nan is forced to bring his dragon to bear. Gaspard is gravely injured in the battle, but manages to guard the retreat with his last breath, only dying after the last of his forces are behind Churneau's walls. Celene and Briala's efforts are less openly heroic, but they defend sieges, move supplies, and refuse to bend the knee to the risen gods.

Much of their success is made possible by Hawke, whose lands no Blight can touch - think the Girdle of Melian. The Frostbacks provide a refugee and a staging ground, and Hawke himself is a figurehead that unites armies in a way that no other leader possibly could.

(It helps that Hawke himself is a powerhouse. The one time the gods try to send a trio of Blighted dragons against Skyhold, Hawke almost single-handedly strikes them from the skies while his ballista teams are still reloading.)

It also helps that Merrill has much of Morrigan's DA:TV storyline - having drunk from the Well of Sorrows, she now controls the Crossroads from Skyhold, allowing the Eluvians to ferry soldiers and supplies between distant places. She also holds the shard of Mythal that Solas killed - though prefers to fly about as a barn owl rather than a raven.

But for all Hawke's strength, southern Thedas is still waging a long defeat until the risen gods are killed and Solas convinced to tie his life force to the Veil. After that, however, everything changes.

Using Skyhold as a base, Hawke retakes southern Thedas.

He marches east first. (It only makes sense. After Alistair's death, Ferelden is leaderless and all those with any claim to the throne either dead or Venatori sympathizers.) Along the way those Hawke helps remember how it was he who led the effort against the Fifth Blight, he who dueled Loghain and allowed him the mercy of becoming a Grey Warden after his loss; he was the one who saved them in the Sixth Blight also; he who Alistair called the brother of my heart. And so by the time they retake Denerim, Hawke is proclaimed King of Ferelden by the armies he leads.

At the same time, all of the various city-states are going we owe Hawke a lot for helping us during this Blight and he's clearly building an empire; let's send him tribute and hope that its enough. At least he's likely to be a benevolent overlord. Acting Viscount Aveline of Kirkwall openly pledges the city to Hawke and begs him to send some other poor soul to rule it. (Hawke sighs and sends Carver, who's never sure to thank or strangle him for it.)

And while all that is going on, the Mortalitasi effectively keeping Nevarra from breaking out in civil war by keeping King Markus "alive" decide the gig is up and have Markus will his kingdom to the man who was obviously going to come along and take it anyway a la Attalus III. The king promptly "dies", has a grand funeral, and his crown is sent off to Denerim.

Add in the fact that the new Archon of the Tevinter Imperium, Dorian Pavus, is an old friend of Hawke's and he has ties to most the other factions and powers in Thedas - Divine Victoria, formerly Cassandra Pentagast, of the southern Chantry; Grand Enchanter Vivienne of the Circle of Magi; Admiral Isabella of the Lords of Fortune; Prince Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven; King Bhelen of Orzammar; the new First Warden; the new Knight-Vigilant of the Templars; several Crow houses; &c - and very suddenly Orlais finds itself in an uncomfortable position.

Empress Celene is the last Valmont standing. She has no heirs and is long past childbearing. Her closest kin are either dead or Venatori sympathizers. She owes her throne to Hawke, who stopped her assassination, ended the civil war, and funneled troops and supplies into Orlais when the Sixth Blight was most dire. Moreover, in one fell swoop he seems to have brought most of southern Thedas to heel and allied with most of the rest. Seeing herself as having no other options, she adopts Hawke as her heir a la several ancient Roman emperors.

And so in a very short period of time Hawke goes from Lord of the Frostbacks to ruler of everything south of The Silent Plains and east of Antiva. They call it the Neromenian Empire.

Hawke, naturally, does not take it well.

But what can he do? Who can he turn power over to? There is no one else. House Theirin is spent. House Valmont is nearly spent. House Pentagast is large but, as with the Free Marches, turning power over to one would ignite civl war from the others. Moreover, everyone from every layer of society seems to want him to rule.

Eventually Hawke settles into ruling, if only because every other option is worse. He ends up ruling over southern Thedas for quite a long time, turning power over in his old age to Carver and Merrill's second child. Although he tries to encourage home rule as much as possible, the truth is the population of his empire is less than a fifth of what it had been prior to the Sixth Blight and a continent-wide spanning relief effort is needed more than petty kingdoms and infighting.

Throughout it all Hawke lives scarcely more lavishly than he had as a minor noble in Kirkwall. His only indulgence are the many Mabari pups he raises in his palace, much to the exasperation of his loving husband, Fenris.

Bonuses include:

As much imported world state as possible, assuming a purplish-blue, mage-friendly PC throughout the first three games. Alistair and Anora ruled Ferelden together, Loghain became a Grey Warden and was left in the Fade in DA:I, a three-way peace between Celene, Gaspard, and Briala was forged; &c. Hawke should know and have connections to - and is owed debts by - nearly everyone. And they should all make appearances.

At least a few people assuming Hawke is not so much the Herald of Andraste as the son of Andraste, sent by the Maker to save Thedas. A handful of others believe that he absorbed the soul of the archdemon at the end of the Fifth Blight and is thus an incarnation of the Old God Urthemiel. Their arguments should be just convincing enough to make certain parties pause and mostly used to amuse Hawke.

Hawke being the last person to realize he's in an Accidental Warlord AU - or, rather, he very much realizes he's a warlord, but thinks someone better is going to come along he can give the crown to until it lands on his head.

Hawke being known alternately as The Mabari King, for the many pups he raises in his palaces, and The Shepherd King, both for his pre-Blight career and his encouragement of many in the Hinterlands to take up sheep farming after the Sixth Bight - the wool trade providing much needed economic security in the aftermath. Nearly every statue of him in the future has at least one mabari at his feet.

While the main events of DA:TV are important, they're shown about as much on screen as the events in the south were in the game. Even so, Hawke should reward Rook for taking out the gods the same way he was rewarded: with more responsibility. (A Mourn Watcher Rook is made Count of Nevarra City; a Crow or Shadow Dragon Rook becomes a marcher lord on the borders of their homeland; &c.) But their story is very much in the background.

...and that's it. I think. I have truly an absurd number of thoughts about what any Inquisitor gets up to during/in the aftermath of the Sixth Blight and even more when it's my Warden!Inquisitor!Hawke. As always, feel free to adopt, just link back if you do anything with it.

More DA Ideas |More Terrible Fic Ideas

Terrible Fic Ideas #11: DA, but make it Warden!Inquisitor!Hawke

I have conflicting feelings about each game in the Dragon Age series having a different protagonist. On one hand it's great because it is terribly unrealistic to expect one person to be required to save the world multiple times. On the other, the only DA protagonist I can say I honestly would want to see more of is Hawke.

So: what would it take for Hawke to believably be the Champion of Kirkwall and the Hero of Fereldan and the Herald of Andraste?

Imagine it:

Mage!Hawke goes to Ostagar with Carver and runs into the Human Mage Warden, Greggory Amell, before his joining. As canonically the Hawkes are second cousins to the Amells, this is something of a comedy of errors as there's more than a little resemblance - especially in armor, and especially if Hawke shaves his default beard.

Regardless of the exact circumstances, Hawke becomes friendly with Greggory and Alistair, and is therefore devastated when his cousin dies during the joining. Hawke agrees to help Alistair light the signal tower in his memory...

...and gets dragged into the events of DA:O.

Crucially, enough people mistake Hawke for his newly dead cousin early on that he decides to run with it in an effort to protect his family. (It means a lot of shaving, because half the reason he has the beard is that he'll have a five-o'clock shadow by noon if he doesn't, but sacrifices have to be made.) It's beyond strange for him to be openly using magic after a lifetime of hiding, but no stranger than going by his cousin's name or pretending to be a Warden. Only Alistair and Morrigan know the truth.

After the Battle of Denerim, newly crowned King Alistair helps Hawke escape the attention by telling everyone that "Warden Amell" has gone to report to Weisshaupt about the Blight. In reality, Hawke goes to Kirkwall to track down his family starting with his uncle and is pleasantly surprised to find them already there.

...the events of DA2 go apace, with a few exceptions. Mainly, 1) Carver and Bethany are both alive, as Hawke's absence in the prologue led the family to flee earlier and faster, and 2) Hawke tells his family that he was captured at Ostigar and held in Arl Howe's dungeons until being released by the Hero of Fereldan. The gold he brought home was "reparations" from the king and goes a long way towards funding the Deep Roads Expedition.

Eventually he does come clean to Carver, who thought his brother looked awfully healthy for a man who spent a year in the dungeons of a notorious sadist, and to Fenris, because it's only right he tell his love interest the truth after they start sleeping together. As for everyone else? He regrows his beard and acts insulted anytime anyone mistakes him for his obviously less handsome and talented cousin. It's quite the act.

After the Chantry explosion, he goes to ground in the Free Marches with Bethany and Fenris while Carver stays in Kirkwall with Varric and Aveline trying to restore order. These three years are vaguely Robin Hood, with the trio moving between the Free Cities doing the job the Templars should be doing - that is, protecting the mages that don't want to hurt people and hunting those that do. Occasionally they'll meet up with Merrill and Isabela for their help ferrying people to safety, but for the most part it's just the three of them.

When news of the Conclave comes, Hawke decides to go - just to watch from the shadows and make sure nobody tries to do anything stupid, like order the deaths of all surviving mages or blow up the Conclave to make a point. He even shaves his beard with the vague idea that if things look really bad he can pop in, shout at people as the Hero of Fereldan, and disappear back into the Free Marches once the talks finish.

...and then the Conclave explodes.

At some point between waking up chained to the Chantry floor and running into Varric again, Hawke decides not again. He is not going to spend the next however many years shaving and answering to a different name, not when his siblings are old enough to protect themselves and he has a life to go back to. He tries to explain but only manages to get across yeah, I'm the Hero of Fereldan before Cassandra drags him out to deal with the Rifts.

Cassandra spends the journey to the first Rift asking where "Warden-Commander Amell" has been all these years. (Hawke tries to explain, but gets tripped up trying to figure out how his alter-ego got promoted when he's been AWOL for the last ten years, not to mention what the hell is going on now.) He doesn't manage it before they run into Varric, who of course greets him with "Hawke!" So he spends the first trip to the Breech trying to explain yes, I'm the Champion of Kirkwall, but first I was the Hero of Fereldan but back then I was pretending to be my dead cousin for Reasons; Fenris, Carver, and King Alistair know and now you three and I think Bethany might've figured it out? I never really was a Warden but I did kill the Archdemon, it's a long story.

It is, of course, a ridiculous mess.

It gets more ridiculous when he wakes up after The Wrath of Heaven and has to go through it again with Liliana and Cullen. (And maybe has a minor breakdown in the process because no, I am not the Herald of Andraste. I refuse. I will send the next person who tries to give me another title straight into the Fade.) Variations of this happen every time he has to go through this conversation, which is an awful lot. (It happens once during battle against a High Dragon, culminating with Hawke summoning a massive lightning storm that kills it dead in three strikes. It's terrifying and impressive and doesn't help things at all.)

...and so Hawke gets dragged into the events of DA:I.

Inquisitor!Hawke is just exhausted by this point. He's still humorously charming, but he's also so very tired of trying to save a world that doesn't want to stay saved. This leads to him coming across as a tired schoolteacher whenever he's not casually raining down destruction upon his enemies.

(There is at least an hour of ranting when Corypheus appears on scene along the lines of why doesn't anybody stay dead these days?)

A week or so after they arrive at Skyhold, Carver shows up with pretty much all the sane Templars left in the Free Marches - along with the remaining Kirkwall crew, minus Aveline. And so Hawke ends up having to mediate the Mage-Templar War.

Things get awkward at Adamant because by the Maker, I never actually was a Warden but fuck it all if I'm not going to use the rank they gave me to march into that fortress and take command. No one is more surprised than Hawke that it worked, though there are still a few jerks that fight and Hawke still falls into the Fade, because that's how his life goes.

Hawke spends all of Halamshiral dealing with questions about what he's going to do with the all Inquisition forces, mages, Templars and Wardens at his disposal - plus the friendship of the King of Fereldan and Prince of Starkhaven. If he ends up snapping, "If I have to end up conquering all of southern Thedas to fix your messes, I will," at the lot of them, who can blame him?

Throughout the entire fic, Hawke gets progressively more tired and jaded but still tries to put on his best face as he tries to clean up all of Thedas' messes, I swear to the Maker. It should also be incredibly hard for him to take most threats seriously after killing an archdemon, once leading to him giving everyone in the Inquisition grey hairs by going off to kill a High Dragon by himself.

He also starts out being very careful to hide his magic (he's something of a self-taught Arcane Warrior, channeling his magic through a sword-and-dagger combo), but gets progressively more casual about it. This isn't helped by the fact he's at his endgame long before DA:I starts. (It takes a powerful mage to flick their fingers to light a fire, but it takes a ridiculously powerful one to wave their hand and shoot a fireball that can kill an ogre.)

This is predicated on the beard making all the difference, but could be even funnier with a female!Hawke who makes no effort to disguise herself at all.

And that's all I literally have room for. Let me know if you adopt this bunny, I'd love to see it.

More Terrible Fic Ideas

[impatient-traveler]

I realize a lot of the current fandom came to the game after several patches or several *years* since release. So a lot of you might not know the history and how things used to be different.

Now, I personally have very strong feelings about the direction in which FFXV was taken post-launch, but this isn't the point of this post.

The point is to maybe make some newer people in the fandom realize that things used to be very different and hopefully make some of you guys learn something cool about a game you love.

FFXV had several core philosophies that were new, and brave, and really cool, and some of them ended up backfiring really badly. It endeavored to be a multimedia project (the multitude of associated media wasn't just "they weren't able to fit it in the game"!). It was intended to be a live service game (which feels very disconnected from the meaning of that term now, but it was already pretty weird at the time. Tabata, the game's director, seemed to have a very different idea of what it meant from the rest of the world, and to him it meant free monthly updates for multiple years alongside paid DLC). It also was intended to take the players' feedback into account in order to become the best game it could be. That's why we got a huge poll asking for what to add to the game, and that's why a ton of changes were made to the game's main story and content after release. That's also why the original experience is nearly lost to time now.

The initial few patches were mostly a continuation of the game's development. Stuff the devs hadn't managed to do in time or that they thought needed to be better. As time went on, though, more and more updates were made that changed the game's identity in significant ways.

One of the major ideas behind FFXV's storytelling was that it was always intended to be subjective. The main game was Noct's story. You had main characters leaving, you had a lot of things not being explained, a lot of stuff you had to piece together from scraps of info. You were intended to experience the story the way Noctis did. The DLC and other media were supposed to fill those gaps for you. What happened in Insomnia while we were gone? What did the other party members get up to while they weren't with us? You were supposed to get this information from different narrators, different viewpoints.

Think about it. Noctis is only twenty, he was never explicitly told what his destiny would involve, he was never taught how to do this. He's confused, he's terrified, he's just trying to keep going one step at a time through most of the game. It was immersive and impactful when you shared some of those feelings as a player.

The information was there. In other media (Kingsglaive, Brotherhood, A Kings's Tale, Parting Ways, Platinum Demo, eventually all the DLC), but also in little scraps around the game's world. Radio transmissions, Cosmogony books, scraps of newspapers and documents, the environmental storytelling of the nights creeping into your days, the ruined walls of Zegnautus Keep. It was in the context. The subtext. The cross-referencing and theory crafting we, the fandom, did.

You would be surprised just how much of the lore added in DLC and updates elicited no reaction from us back then. It was "duh". It was things we already knew. Things we'd pieced together, discussed, and written fics for months in advance.

Then the Internet did its thing and the loudest voices the devs could hear were the people who didn't love the game, who didn't want to put in the effort, who didn't want to think about it too hard. And instead of only affecting the subsequent content, it also changed the game we used to know.

The random interactable lore dumps they added to many locations with no explanation or reason to be there. The bestiary and character infos (which is a great feature but contributes to making players wait for lore to be fed to them rather than think for themselves). The horrible, disgusting powerpoint presentation they inserted into the middle of the Shiva conversation on the train that just pauses mid-dialogue to offer you an extensive infodump and then continues as if that never happened. There's a lot of things like this.

Did you know the original Ch13 was a horror game? The Ring's spells were tuned in such a way that they incentivised sneaking. It wasn't even mandatory then, you could still bruteforce your way through just by learning the simple counter timing for the Ring. But until you did, you got a precious few minutes of feeling terrified of the MTs patrolling the corridors. People complained that it "took you out of the action" and "interrupted the pace". Oh, do you mean how Noctis was INTERRUPTED by suddenly being all alone, in an unknown, hostile place, trying to rush to save his friend but not get himself killed? It was impactful. It was memorable. Now ch13 feels like a bad joke, Ardyn's attempts at taunts triggering a minute late when you've already moved on from the corpses of the MTs he's warning you about.

Do you know how it felt when Insomnia was a quarter of its current game size and had barely any content? It was rushed, yes. But that was the tragedy of it. The reason why it was so successful at conveying how this felt to Noctis, to the others who'd been waiting for him for a decade. To be reunited only to die. To be robbed of all your freedom in favor of playing the role you were meant for.

Did you realize the entire boss rush at the end is a Royal Edition addition? It's too long. It feels disjointed and at odds with the mood of the story. You're supposed to feel helpless. You're supposed to despair. Instead you get each party member delivering an over-the-top finisher move while yelling extremely cheesy and out of character lines about how much they love their friend. We always knew how much they loved him. It was in their presence. In their willingness to die for him. In the way they didn't look away when they knew they were about to lose him. In the stilted dialogue and awkward attempts at humor, trying to recapture their lost innocence.

This game used to punch you in the gut as it ended. It used to make you feel like you were watching a dear friend walk to his death and had to live with that, with the knowledge that for all its injustice and cruelty, this was "for the best".

Go out. Get the 1.0 mod (which I was consulted for as the person who actually played the old versions and resident modding community grandma but did not touch any of the actual mod making). Get an old disk copy for your console. See this game at its strongest. Experience the version of the story that forces you to grapple with the tragedy and doesn't sugarcoat or distract you from the ugly parts.

[spiteless-xo]

Pretty please do more porco as a dad whenever you can that was scrumptious 💗💗

anything for you 🥰💗

semi-part two to porco suddenly becoming a dad from a while ago

╰┈➤ as a dad - aot.

ft. porco, fem!reader cw. explicit language, implied sex.

it becomes quickly obvious to you that your daughter loves her dad more than she loves you and you just have to deal with it, i'm sorry.

it's honestly a mystery how she learns how to walk because porco carries her around everywhere he goes. she's either cradled in his arms or sitting up on his shoulders so she can "see the world from up here," says the 5'8" man

he lets her play with his hair whenever she wants, even though she complains that it's not long enough to do anything with. whenever he gets a haircut and the sides are freshly buzzed, he runs over to his little girl and lets her run her fingers through the soft fuzz 🥺

also, be prepared for her first word to be "fuck". this man does not censor himself around your child, or anyone else's!! i'm certain that you get more than one phone call from angry parents asking you to please tell your husband to stop swearing in front of the kids

he signs your daughter up for hockey as soon as she's old enough to play 💀 drives her in the morning to practice and on the way home from the rink, he'll stop for some hot chocolate and donuts (sorry, is my Canadian showing here???)

if you approach him about having a second child, he has a hard time with it at first. he loves your daughter so much, it's hard for him to imagine finding room in his heart to love two babies!!

but you finally convince him and the two of you get to work on a second baby and this one is a boy!! porco gets really excited about telling your daughter about her new baby brother and (to no one's surprise) she pitches a fit about having to share her daddy w someone else

porco helps her get over it by really involving her with the pregnancy. he lets her sit on his lap when he's reading to your belly, gets her to feel when the baby is kicking, and gets her to help choose what colour to paint the baby's room and what toys to get for him

and when you give birth to the second baby, and porco holds him for the first time, he realizes that he doesn't have to even think about making room in his heart for another child because it's already been there this whole time 🥺 this man is a blubbering mess in the delivery room for both kids, i swear

when your kids get old enough to start talking back, porco gets really annoyed but like -- who does he think they learned it from?? 💀

@gallliard tagging u because i know you'll wanna see this

[stergeon]

> FERDINAND II.

And so your PLANT shall henceforth be known as FERDINAND II.

The thought of needing to inform FERDINAND I of his having a namesake makes you a bit ill, but you are already hard at work devising several plausible excuses for the gesture. Something about how you've named it after the one most invested in its naming, or how it is similarly prone to drooling. Yes. Yes, you will be able to deflect quite easily, should the need arise. It has nothing to do with your fondness for FERDINAND or your desire for a substitute in his imminent absence, no—again, you are not so prone to sentimentality. It's about the drool.

Well, anyway. Best to move on with your day and think about something else, lest you grow maudlin or cultivate further affection for the PLANT. May the GODDESS be merciful and never cause you to develop inclinations that could be described as paternal.

Now that your plant has received sufficient care, it is time for COFFEE. You set to making your morning brew. By CHANCE, there happens to be sufficient water remaining in the kettle for FERDINAND I to have TEA, should he wish it.

Per your TIMEPIECE, it is now a quarter to eight. You have made excellent progress on your PRE-BREAKFAST TO-DO LIST thus far: the only remaining task is to remove FERDINAND. You are starting to get rather peckish and would like to be rid of him quickly, but over the past week, you have found that extracting the man from YOUR QUARTERS is a more arduous task than it ought to be.

#007 | << | <- | -> | JOURNAL | HOW TO PLAY | ALL POSTS

[nashvillethotchicken]

IWTV S2E6 "Like the light god made before he made the world" livethoughts. Spoilers and thoughts as always below the cut

[vibingforjudaism]

I need a therapist who I can argue with and who will give me jewish advice ....a rabbi. I need a rabbi

[jbcatboyedits]

Haven't had the time to update the assets because the launcher hates my PC but here's a summary of the last month or so of content.

(and a bonus silly one for discord emote purposes)

[artsandstoriesandstuff]

Me looking through all the reblogs/comments from people genuinely concerned about my wellbeing: