#but i think its more poignant today. or maybe that's just me and the episode reads and hits the same today as it did in 08 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

olde-scratch · 2 years

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the end sequences of junji ito maniac transcribed (i can edit to put pictures later if anyone screenshots them)

personally i think theyre mostly telling whats in the next episode, but it’s also a very interesting story outside of that. not sure if it’s from a previous work or made up for the anime but i like it

e1: "I finally felt something was strange. A dark hole. A sweet scent filling the room. I must write down what's going on in front of my eyes, or at some point, people will say that I am the strange one. But I have no paper... I don't have a pen, either. I scraped the tip of my finger against the splintered wall. Oh, wait... there's some red ink here now."

e2: “It’s amazing. The red ink turns black when it dries. Good, good! That’s good for me. Hm... where does this poignant smell of iron come from? Ah, well... And, what’s that thing with my face that’s flying around? I must write down every little thing I see and hear with the ink. Oh, but there’s... no paper.”

e3: “See? Here it is! Right here! It’s not high-quality paper, but still, it’s better than nothing. I slide the soft pen over its bumpy surface, preparing to scribe. What I saw last night was a sad man who could not fall asleep. And there, a cicada out of season is crying out in an insane frenzy.”

e4: “Long black hair protruding from the wall. It was swaying from the letters I wrote on the wall, and I was wondering what it was, but it was hair. What exactly is it trying to do? Is it growing in an effort to touch me? I just tore off that curious clump of hair. When I did, that mound of mane became very docile.”

e5: “No... It was white. Was it white to begin with? The paper is filling up with black insects. Where did these things come from? If you look close enough, those insects are in the shape of letters. It’s almost as if they’re trying to tell me something. I need to know more about these strange insects. If I open the putrid library, will I find the answer somewhere in there?”

e6: “Gather round and listen closely to the tombstone thrusted there! To the many tombstones. See, now, I can also hear the voices of a conversation, you see. The fact that I can hear it means that you can clearly hear it as well. But for those among you that can’t hear it, I must find a way to share. I’ll teach it to the insects...”

e7: “Ha, that is what the insects are teaching you today! They’re piling up. What’s piling up is the bottom of the ocean! The insects multiplied and filled up the paper. They keep screaming. It’s getting hard to hear them. There are three large pieces of paper. The other side has many poles sticking up from the ground. If the insects left from here, it would be very bad.”

e8: “Hey, Mr. Insect. Do you want to hear the story about the woman who came here yesterday? I was surprised to hear that there are people like that out in this world. Oh, yes, you feel the same way, don’t you? You know, that woman also had an insect on her face! My life was spared only because the insect on her face allowed me to take notice of it.”

e9: “Oh, it appears the insects are starting to argue with one another. My, oh, my! This might not be an argument. Is it... bullying? Everyone’s watching this. It’s better if you stopped. I’m watching as well with my very own eyes. Oh, the ink... It’s no longer coming out. I need more red ink.”

e10: “Oh, it seems that there’s quite a bit more ink. But I’m running out of paper! Oh, there’s paper in the other room, isn’t there? Is it possible to get there? Yes, but to do so I must traverse this twisted back alley. The spot where the ink stopped flowing is white, hard, and pointed now. If I dig with that, maybe I can bore a hole...”

e11: “I decided to head to the room next door through a new, gaping hole. The insects were whispering and that made me realize. Ahahah... what a fool I’ve been! I’ve only been following the orders of the insects until now. I won’t listen to what they have to say anymore. I rammed my bony body through the open hole and jumped out of the room!”

e12: “And so the warden read the bloodstained letters on the wall. The squiggly letters representing insects filled the entire space. It was quite difficult to decipher, most likely because the letters were written by the man who drilled through the wall with the bones of his fingers in an attempt to escape. The first sentence reads as follows: I finally felt something was strange...”

#junji ito #junji ito maniac #junji ito maniac: japanese tales of the macabre #not sure if theres any differences between eng and jap versions cause the subtitles of the jap one matched the first 4 eps #anyways hope this is helpful to someone i figured id transcribe it anyways in case someone needed it for some obscure reason #ill probably use it as inspiration or fodder if i want a junji ito reference somewhere #idk maybe someone will make a theory that the narrators souichi or something like that and needs the transcripts idk lol #i dont know if this counts as spoilers but #junji ito maniac spoiles

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kevinskorner · 2 years

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2023 Grammy Predictions: Big Four Categories

Well here we are. A little more than one month out from the nominations are announced for the 2023 Grammy Awards. Awards season is always my favorite time of year so I'm always thinking about the next award shows, the nominations and the winners. Going into next years Grammy's, we have a lot of competition like always but this year there seems to be a lot more prominent artists in the running than the past few years.

Today, I will be sharing my predictions for the Big Four Categories (Album of the Year, Record of the Year, Song of the Year and Best New Artist) as we gear up for the nominations announcement on November 15th.

I feel pretty good about my predictions for Album of the Year. All of these have good reasoning behind them. Adele, Brandi Carlile, Kendrick Lamar & Beyonce are all well known Grammy favorites. Silk Sonic proved last year that the Grammys also love them. Lizzo's sophomore effort is very solid and I do not think the Grammys will miss out on nominating her again. Harry and Bad Bunny are two of the biggest artists of the year and it would be huge snubs if either missed out. The one surprise on my list might be Jack Harlow's album but I feel confident the Grammys will nominate it because they always choice a mediocre nominee.

Alternates: Motomami by Rosalia & Encanto Soundtrack

Record of the Year is pretty self explanatory. All mainstream hits but I would not be surprised if the Recording Academy swap some of these out (maybe First Class, Shivers, Titi Me Pregunto) for some more indie choices.

Song of the Year is similar to Record but has a few more songwriter heavy choices. I think TV is a special inclusion because its a poignant song and I would be surprised if Billie missed for this category especially. All Too Well (10 Minute Version) should definitely get in here as well.

I just have to start off firstly by saying if you told me a year ago I would be predicting Dove Cameron to be nominated for a Best New Artist Grammy I would say you are out of your damn mind. I mean I've been a fan since I saw the first episode of Liv & Maddie in 2013 but I honestly never thought her music career would ever pop off. It's crazy to think that artists like Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato never got Best New Artist Grammy nominations in their Disney days but Olivia Rodrigo did and Dove Cameron has a good chance to as well. Anywho, this year there is no clear front runner for this category and that makes it very tricky to predict but I feel I have a good feel for the category this year. Lainey & Zach are rising Country artists that I expect to be around for awhile, Latto has risen to be a star this year, as Tate McRae and Dove Cameron have. Muni Long deserves a nomination after a few breakout hits and having been in the game as a songwriter for so long. Omar and Joji are the indie/alternative lovable boys that I can see getting in. Rina is on the rise and I would be thrilled to have her get a nomination and, I think it would be cool in Wet Leg got a nomination here also.

Well, there it is. My predictions for the Big Four categories for the upcoming 2023 Grammy Awards. See you again on November 15th to see how many of these I got write and discuss the craziness that is the Recording Academy's decisions...

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daisylikesmedia · 2 years

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Holiday Special 12: Time of the Doctor

Welp, here we are. It’s the end of Matt Smith’s run of the Doctor, and we’ll be reviewing his swan song Time of the Doctor today. Does it give him the ending he deserves? Let’s find out.

So for me this episode is clearly split into two halves, so I want to talk about the first half hour first. Long and short of it is that it really stinks imo. A lot of the jokes/gags used in this time don’t fit the Doctor’s socially capable character at all. Alongside this, there’s a lot of Moffat cliches that pop up here too. The constant changing of location, the bombardment of past enemies (the Weeping Angel routine is *very* overdone at this point), etc etc. At this point I’m very tired of these things, and it really deflated me to see that these cliches were still present in Moffat’s writing 4 years after he started as showrunner.

HOWEVER, as soon as the Doctor gets settled as the protector of Christmas, this episode pulls a complete 180 and becomes something amazing. 11’s Doctor has typically been described by a lot of fans as “a silly old man in a young man’s body”, and this is the story that shows us that silly old man. Seeing him fighting off wooden cybermen and the like whilst also teaching the kids of Christmas his silly giraffe dance or fixing their toys. It’s so so sweet, and as much as I can rag on Moffat cliches for days this is truly a fairytale ending for the character.

Alongside this Moffat takes the cliched villains seen in the first act and starts to do some really creative things with them once we’re on Christmas. The wooden cybermen are inspired, the Dalek-people clones are super dark (especially in the scene with Tasha omg) and work really well to raise the stakes of the story. It’s really good stuff, although it’s nothing compared to the final act that we get.

Having aged for 300 years, the Doctor stumbles to the top of the bell tower to face down the Daleks yet again. He’s very clearly on his last legs, and seeing him so old and withered is heart-breaking. Despite this, he keeps on with his taunting, as Clara begs the time lords to do something to save the man who saved them in a very poignant speech. As the Daleks mention the rules of regeneration, a crack opens up in the sky and the time lords send the Doctor an extra cycle of regenerations. And wow, the line that the Doctor throws out after this. “Did you just mention the rules?”. Of course our silly old Doctor doesn’t care about the rules, and he blasts the Daleks out of the sky with his newly found regeneration energy. He gets one final speech in the TARDIS, talking about how moving on is good as long as we remember all the people that we used to be, and then he bows out.

I don’t think any Doctor’s ending has been as fitting for their specific incarnation as that ending was. That is the 11th Doctor. Love him or hate him, he’s the goofy old man who will protect us silly humans from the monsters under our bed. I struggle sometimes with 11, and often I find his inconsistent romances and character arcs can get in the way. But when a story takes the time to focus on that mission statement, the goofy old man who saves us, it pays off and it pays off hard.

TL:DR/Overview: The Time of the Doctor is maybe the story that encapsulates what the 11th Doctor means to me the most. Despite a very sloppy start, the special in its 2nd and 3rd acts understands exactly the kind of Doctor 11 is, and gives him the most fitting ending any Doctor has had for themselves. Idk if I’m just more emotional recently but seeing 11 tirelessly fight to defend Christmas and its inhabitants got me to shed a few tears, and for that and a lot more, it’s deservingly going into A tier.

#daisy reviews media #doctor who #11th doctor #time of the doctor

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the-romcommunist · 2 years

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a list of my comfort shows:

fleabag - phoebe waller bridge, i want to be you when i grow up. The writing, the acting, the comedic beats, need I say more. I could analyse this show for forever and still wouldn't get bored. The juxtaposition of fleabag and her deflection through comedy with her grief is so poignant, it always makes me feel all the Feelings™️

normal people - genuinely the most perfect book to tv show adaptation i have ever seen. usually, the book or the show is better but in this case, the book and the show add to their respective counterparts, its crazy. also, the acting by daisy edgar jones and paul mescall is so well done. I have watched normal people so many times that i literally watch the show on shuffle. my thought process: "hmm today feels like an episode 8 type of day"

leverage - everyone go watch that show rn, its so fucking good, every single season slaps. are you aware of how rare that is?? and the fact that this show aired on television while actively criticising every major organisation is insane. i genuinely believe that if i hadn't already been radicalised, just from looking at the world around me, this show would have pushed me over the edge. i love my criminal found family. the depth and nuance to all their relationships but also how campy and fun the show is makes for such a fun watching experience. i have such a good time every time i watch because, let’s be real, who doesn’t love a good heist.

teen wolf - but especially season 3. the downside of making season three such Good television is that it ruins the rest of the series. nothing else after or before season three of teen wolf can live up to the standard set by season three. also, dylan o'brien in season three? man really brought out the big guns, and I love that for him

skam - literally any version, i have watched each remake so many times. this show drives me nuts, when i fall into a skam phase, i fall deep. it happens like once every two years, and for like 2 months straight, i don't watch anything but skam. i don't know why i like skam so much, it just makes me feel so comforted.

veronica mars - does kristen bell age? I mean, she looks the same in veronica mars and the good place. anyways, veronica mars. it is everything riverdale wished it could be. it's one of the only shows i've seen that, while catering to a teenage and young adult audience, doesn't talk down to their audience. and i love that while there's the overarching narrative, it's also a procedural so every episode is different. means that you can just pick and episode and watch it. it also means that some episodes let the teenage characters actually be teenagers (ahem, unlike every other teen drama show)

anne with an e - anne with an e just makes me want to enjoy my life. especially the mundane, quiet, small moments that i otherwise don't think about. anne shirley cuthbert is such a vivid character, i almost always watch a couple episodes of awae when i'm sick. probably because i first watched it when i was sick. the show, while not all happy go lucky, makes me feel like i’m getting the media equivalent of a warm hug.

arrow - but only season 1, 2 and 3. sometimes i just want to watch something that really doesn't require you to pay attention. maybe i’ve just finished exams and my mental bandwidth is like, -1, in which case i only have the energy for something like arrow. there’s nothing more to it than what’s being told to you on screen and sometimes that’s all you need (or all you can handle)

shameless - i don't know why this dysfunctional family brings me such comfort but it does. i just love watching the family dynamic. clearly. looking over this list, i am realising that found family is exactly what i look for in everything i watch. watching the effects that every character has on each other is so interesting but the shows also just so funny? i mean come on, there’s no other show that does recaps as well as shameless does. also, the best enemies to lovers arc ever executed on screen? ian gallagher and mickey milkovich, hands down. for a show that’s so coarse, they gave these two such a heart warming arc.

the OA - i am so jealous of britt marling's mind. she's a genius. the tone of the OA is so different to anything else i have watched, it’s so refreshing. the only show that i feel maybe has a similar tone is mr robot, but while mr robot has you constantly on edge and wary of everything that’s happening on screen, the OA is calming. the chinese box narrative structure is done so organically and so kindly (?? it’s the only word i can think of that fits) you can’t help but feel for the characters, no matter how much of an asshole the character is. in fact, this show might have actually changed my mind on a whole lot of things regarding how we treat others. again, the found family aspect is present, front and centre. then there's the romance between OA and Homer. it is so pure. I can't even articulate my feelings about this show, it's so mind bendingly good

#fleabag #normal people #leverage #teen wolf #skam #veronica mars #anne with an e #awae #the OA #arrow #shameless #comfort shows #if anyone comes across this #feel free to add your own comfort shows

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radiation · 3 years

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Good evening, beloved mutual. Today I, Cactus, woukd like to ask you some some questions. What do you think makes Odd Taxi so striking that makes ir stand out so easily? Is it the dialogue, both the acting and script? The multiple influence of both sound mixing and the soundtrack? Maybe the animation style coupled with the designs? Or what about the story of being such a mix of genres and styles?

good evening beloved mutual :D

for me it is the acting & script. its naturally flowing conversation & attention to timing is what immediately stood out to me when i first watched the show. anime tends to have its own kind of language which includes very exaggerated mannerisms. and of course this exaggeration in exists like, everywhere, in any kind of storytelling at any time in any place, and theres a reason for it -- its an expressionist view of emotion, not realistic yet an accurate reflection of how it feels to like. feel intensely as a human being. But unfortunately its often used as a substitute for subtlety and well-earned characterization....

continued below (spoiler-free)

i was watching another anime today, it has very exaggerated main characters. and while i was watching i was like wow i am learning nothing about them. 5 episodes in and theyve done almost nothing but reiterate the same things we already learned about them in the first episode. they are literally just yelling their personalities out, while this dialogue is not based in good enough jokes and scenarios for it to work well (cuz it can work well! but it didnt here). in this case its just a bad substitute for care put into writing

oddtaxi rules because that care is 100% there. everything is so deliberate. such a short anime with so much going on in it cannot afford to waste time, and oddtaxi doesnt! with conversation being the driving factor of its storytelling, it's key that its there with purpose. oddtaxi totally nails this -- pretty much all dialogue has a direction, all of it can be justified narratively, none of it is superfluous. and the fact that the dialogue is more realistic is super instrumental in this. since most of the characters' dialogue isnt exaggerated, the times when they show a lot of emotion are that much more impactful. you get a main character like odokawa who speaks pretty monotone & with natural conversational flow, and characters with unique/exaggerated speech habits are much more noticeable. imai speaks noticeable more like an anime character - which feels totally right, he's an idol otaku! yano talking like no one else in anything fucking ever is so much more funny when he is speaking like this in a world full of relatively normally-speaking people. and the contrast between him and odokawa's speech styles is really interesting. odokawa's has a lot of give to it; it's certainly detached, but he's a great conversationalist and the flow of his speech allows people space to talk. while yano's is totally self-centered, leaves awkward silences, no one can get a word in edgewise. his conversation has flow, literally, its fucking rapping, but his flow is with himself only & is abrupt in the context of talking with anyone else. and thats just the tip of the iceberg, you really could analyze all characters dialogue and find something really interesting + poignant to the show's themes

but yeah, oddtaxi just has. tons of amazing qualities about it. but dialogue is #1 for me, in what makes it great, and what makes it stand out so much. im so glad so much attention to it was paid, with the entire development process changing due it; dialogue was recorded first and animation was done along to it later. this is so characters' speech and expressions would work together well, never be at odds. this is very nonstandard in anime, and definitely took a lot of money to do, but it was totally necessary and is so awesome!!!

thank you for the ask ^_^

#oddtaxi

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jenniferstolzer · 4 years

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Babylon 5 rewatch Episode 2.22: The Fall of Night

Babylon 5 is at the center of not one but three conflicts as John Sheridan agrees to shelter a wounded Narn cruiser. The Centauri don’t like this. Earth doesn’t like this. The Shadows don’t like this. But Sheridan has a strong moral compass and what he doesn’t like is how much the institutions around him are willing to sacrifice in the name of forging some kind of cursory peace.

Things I liked about The Fall of Nighit

1, Lennier and Vir’s friendship. If you ask me Vir, could be friends with literally anyone. He’s such an understanding soul. Lennier is by nature a little judgey. More closed off. So when they sit down next to each other and discover how much they have in common both of them look at each other like “hello what” and automatically agree to meet again. But even this exchange is done almost like spies meeting and I don’t think we stop to think about that very often. These are the attaches of two ambassadors for two of the most powerful races in the galaxy… they could very well be exchanging state secrets instead of expressing solidarity for their equally frustrating jobs.

2, The Centauri are apparently willing to put their ships on autopilot and black out from g forces if it means when they come to they’ll be in a better firing position. This seems extremely reckless and VERY Centauri. It is the spacebattle equivalent of the hair. Big. Flashy. Not well thought through.

3, In the wake of the mass driver bombing, Sheridan gives Londo an opportunity to speak and Londo is like “NOPE” and jets before he says something that’s going to get him and his whole race in more trouble than they already are. Garibaldi then reads Londo like a literal book, delivering one of my favorite analyses of the character. Everyone thought Londo was a clown, indulging in opulence, going into debt at the casino, drinking himself to a stupor in public, but Garibaldi was his friend and knows that Londo’s not dumb, he’s actually very smart and his mind moves really fast. His error is in his judgment and priorities and he’s currently in waters he did not expect to tread. He’s scared, and he’s going to keep darting in and out of cover until he feels like he has a handle on things or he gets picked off by a hunter, whichever comes first. Also a very classic JMS line “He’s a pain in the butt, but he’s our pain in the butt.” Hunt for that or similar lines in other JMS stuff, he loves that line.

4, The ache of watching McCarthysim at work is very effective. Zach knows the guys he’s ratting on don’t deserve to be ratted on and even says so. “They’re just fooling around” but we can tell by the level of interest and tone of the Nightwatch captian’s voice that they’re gonna get blackballed. Zach can’t deny that they said what they said, but can tell that ratting them out is the wrong thing to do. In the end he relents with a bunch of qualifications but the Nightwatch doesn’t want qualifications. They want names. Thank you for your service.

5, I love that the guy there to ally with the Centauri is from the Ministry of Peace. So poignant. They’ll get peace all right, by paying off the aggressors.

6, When the Narn ship was coming under threat by the Centauri warship, Sheridan opened a line to Londo just to spit in his face and hang up. It was amazing. Also during this crisis, Sheridan whips out a law book to smack the Nightwatch guy back in his hole. Sinclair would be proud.

7, Watching B5 come under attack is so emotionally stirring. Even on a rewatch, I don’t want to see it hurt.

8, We have arrived! The scene where Kosh reveals himself. I love that G’Kar is hiding in the plants – like he’s not a huge gecko man who people are going to notice. I also love how plaintiff his voice is, thinking if he speaks on Sheridan’s behalf it’ll help him in the political shitshow he’s currently in. I mean he’s issuing this apology for helping a Narn ship and G’Kar is very very very grateful for that. Also B5 blew up a Centauri warship so he’s pretty grateful for that too, I mean come on… I like that B5 has like a standard subway system in the middle of it and that they let the Puppet Friends ride. I miss the puppet friends. I love that the rotational gravity system means there’s a weightless portion in the center of hydroponics and that we used that to our advantage in this story. Also the vorlons in their native form play on the perception of the lesser races. They are light beings, and humans see them as angels. The rest of the races see them as prophets or gods, but none of these perceptions are perfect. We see wings and white robes and think Angel, but Kosh didn’t appear like a rennaissance painting. He’s got a butterfly look to him, too. The face he wears is a facsimile of a human not an exact human. He’s not perfect, we’re just in awe. Love that.

9 And finally a lot has been said about why Londo doesn’t see anything when Kosh appears. He’s been touched by the Shadows, so he can’t be converted by the Vorlons b/c we’re playing a game of Othello today I guess. Maybe because he doesn’t actually believe in his pantheon of gods so he doesn’t have any deities to witness. Maybe he’s lying because what he saw was his own greed and vanity. The general consensus is the first – that he’s incapable of seeing the light because he’s in the dark. For a fresh take on it, let’s look at the Vorlons through this lens. Kosh said before that if he revealed himself everyone would know him… I take this as being a side effect of being Vorlon. Vorlons are a feeling not an image. Like Magenta. Magenta’s not a real color, it exists on the color wheel because something has to connect red and purple on the color spectrum… but the spectrum of visible light is actually a straight line. The wavelengths for red and purple are far from touching, but our brains can perceive when they’re both present, so Magenta occurs. It’s imaginary, but we see it for real with our eyes. That’s Vorlons. Perhaps Londo saw a shapeless light thing in the sky, perhaps that’s what Vorlons really are… or perhaps they have no visible representation at all until they hit our brains. Our eyeballs behold something, but our brains have to construct it out of pieces. When the rest of the galaxy looked at Kosh they used the color wheel to construct him, but Londo was only given the wavelengths. He saw nothing, because nothing was there to see. I really wish there was another Centauri there to be like “I saw the goddess Li welcoming me to her arms!” and Londo’s over there like “I’m the problem” instead of not really answering that question. Maybe it’s answered in season 3, I don’t know. Did Vir see anyone up there? He must have been on break.

What I like Less about 22

1, So here’s where I’m going to talk about Keffer. I know the origin story…. that he was an unwelcome addition to the cast added per network request, but who the hell is he other than that? I think its remarkable how he slips right out of my head the minute he is off camera. We know he’s a pilot, that he was close to Carlos (whose story/death you may recall I was laughing at in a previous episode because its significance ALSO came out of nowhere), and that he made friends with the GROPOS grunts (who we incidentally learned to care about enough in that one episode that we were sad when they died…. Awkward considering Keffer’s contribution to this episode…) Honestly the most interesting thing about him is that he’s got an old-timey fighter pilot scarf he wears and he believes in ghosts and I bet you all forgot about the ghosts. Honestly, the most interesting thing about Keffer is how he’s a lesson in how not to write an interesting character – and no shade on JMS for that, I know he did it on purpose. Significant things happening to a character does not automatically make them a strong character. Keffer experienced loss, came face to face with the shadows, got in fights… a lot of stuff happened to him, but he was almost always the only named character in those scenes. We cared about the GROPOS because they cared about each other and we responded to that. Keffer was there to play cabbage head and ask questions. He’s not tight with any of our main cast who we’ve had tons more time to grow attached to, and dies for plot reasons without leaving an impact with his loss. Heck, you can see the value of interpersonal relationships on character development in action when the show used a shoehorn to try and force some in in context to Carlos a second and a half before he died. We had him drinking at the bar with command staff suddenly, we had him die as a result of a flight mission Sheridan was part of to make Sheridan feel guilty about it. Everyone was standing around going like “No, Not Ramirez” and if you recall on my previous episode writeup I was LAUGHING at how tortured this sudden human connection was. Keffer could have been made interesting. Follow me on this.

My treatment on how to make Keffer interesting:

Let’s say Keffer was introduced as an old friend of one of our characters – Fraknlin let’s say. He was a friend from the Minbari War days that helped him sneak behind enemy lines. Perhaps he was complicit in the covering up and destruction of Franklin’s notes on Minbari anatomy. As a result, the two hang out in medbay sometimes, talking about old times and comparing the current war to the one they fought together. We learn that Keffer has a fire for justice. Hates bullies. Sees the strong as absolute defenders of the weak and that any stronger race picking on a weaker one is a bigger coward than the unvierse can hold. Then when Carlos gets killed by the ghost he starts researching what it could be. Kosh and Delenn tell him to stay out of it. The audience assumes he’s going to uncover something and bring Franklin and other characters into Delenn and Sheridan’s confidence about the shadows through curiosity and honor, but we’re learning through the episodes that the Shadows are IMMENSELY powerful and have no patience for flies. When he breaks off from his squad to go have a looksee at what he suspects led to his personal friend Carlos’s death, we know this is going to kill him. He ignores the warnings of those who have more awareness and dies to bring back evidence of the Shadows to the station. Sheridan recognizes how Keffer’s curiosity and sense of judgment led to recklessness, something Sheridan himself is prone to. He vows not to let Keffer die in vain, but also states that the proof he got has changed everything… and that Sheridan would have done the same. Killing your men in the name of a mission is never the goal but there’s a line everyone crosses when the safety of the universe is at stake and sometimes things are worth dying for. Franklin walks into medbay, casts a look to the counter where Keffer used to sit all those nights, and turns away.

But that’s not what happen. Keffer’s dead now and I don’t miss him. Glad he emailed the Shadows to ISN five nanoseconds before he died.

Babylon 5 is now the last best hope for victory because sometimes peace is another word for surrender and because secrets have a way of getting out. On to season 3!

#Babylon 5 #babylon 5 rewatch #season 2 #episode 22 #babylon 5 spoilers #art #jenstoart #kosh #john sheridan

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springfieldblues · 4 years

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ok thoughts on Diary Queen

lets go in order since i decided to write things down as i watch the episode in order to stay focused

first of all holy shit the animation in the intro musical number was SO expressive and SO fluid, i cant believe they worked so hard on what (for what all intents and purposes) is a throwaway gag but im definitely not complaining!! it was a treat to see and the song was great too. i remember reading something about them having a broadway musical style episode planned for this season and for a moment i thought this would be the one because of how high quality that bit was. i was wrong, but now at least this has me looking forward to the actual musical episode whenever it comes out

nelson quote of the episode: "thank you...*grabs two cut out bible curse words from jar* ...adultery ass"

the repurposing of marcia wallace's past recordings as edna was actually pretty ingenious, even if you can tell what episodes they took them from...they picked some very poignant quotes and put them to great use. i love that ednas signature quote is starting to become "if you can teach one kid one thing, then today will be a success" from Bart Gets a Z (very underrated episode)

really interesting how bart was immediately averse to seeing 'the dark side of another marriage' (not to mention immediately assuming that ned and edna had marriage problems upon finding her diary)

i dont know why but my jaw dropped when they used fiona apple's shameika in the episode...its from a pretty recent album (and pretty damn good too) so i was like wow...the taste *pinched fingers emoji* (i personally wouldve saved it for a lisa episode but maybe thats just me since i associate fiona with lisa HAHA not complaining either way)

yknow speaking of lisa, as i was watching the episode for the first time i was kind of annoyed at lisa like damn girl just let him have this one thing...he just wants genuine support and someone who believes in him. but at the same time, as soon as she started getting itchy (literally) over not being able to tell bart the truth about what he misinterpreted and effectively letting bart live a lie, i was like 'oh. i get it' and other people might see that as stupid but oh my god...im the same. i wish i wasnt though. im afraid people might misinterpret her anxiety over it as her not wanting to see bart happy, especially because thats what i initially thought they were going for too, but as the episode progresses i think it becomes clear that its more about her needing to tell bart the truth to an almost pathological degree but also not wanting to hurt barts feelings in the process. "im letting him live a lie that might ruin him!!" idk. found it relatable for better or for worse

nice fanny pack milhouse

"when the last student finishes using the lice comb please pass it back up" I SCREAMED

bart after he learns the truth was honestly truly heartbreaking to see man......i dont have much to say, i just really feel for him and they did a great job at expressing his hurt over learning about his misunderstanding. i feel like he recovered a little too quickly after the talk with ned (i blame this on the episode format since it was time to wrap things up) but it was a touching moment nonetheless. another amazing use of archive recordings, this time from The Seemingly Never-Ending Story. it almost feels as if they had written the episode around this particular quote because of the syngergy it has with barts feelings after thinking edna believed in him (which she did all along as it turns out)

god. what a sweet episode. what a way to give edna closure as a character. we miss you mrs. k

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missjanjie · 4 years

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These Words are My Own (From My Heart) | Crygi

Title: These Words are My Own (From My Heart) Summary: Gigi brings a journal with her to the Drag Race set, intending to keep it as a way to express her thoughts during the competition and quell her anxiety. Instead, it becomes the narration of a love story that unfolded behind the scenes. Word Count: 2415 Relationship(s): Crygi (Crystal Methyd/Gigi Goode) Rating: M Notes: This is a diary/journal-style fic, so it’s written from Gigi’s POV throughout

read on ao3

July 22nd 2019

I don’t know what I expected from the first day of filming, but it was… a lot. The two group thing puts on that extra level of pressure, and I can already feel a little sliver of anxiety trying to wiggle its way in. Not that I’d ever let it show, of course. It’s way too early to worry.

As far as the other girls… I actually like them all, which, let’s be honest, is the biggest shock of them all. I almost kind of wanted an enemy. But I think I might have found the opposite. Crystal.

Crystal is weird. She’s so fucking weird, but she’s funny and kind and smells really nice and is super cute out of drag. I don’t know where I’m going with this. We just had an instant connection, and I think it’ll be a nice thing to have in a situation like this.

July 25th 2019

Holy shit. The first episode is done. I’m so fucking tired. And I fucking crushed it, oh my god. I didn’t expect anything less, of course. This is a sign for how the competition’s gonna be for me, I just know it.

But anyways.

Crystal told a joke during dinner that made me shoot water out of my nose. Nicky called me a sprinkler for the rest of the night, so fuck her. Besides, Crystal said it was cute. I know, I’m sounding like I have a crush on her, but I don’t. I just appreciate being around her, we get along well. So let me reiterate: I do not have a crush on Crystal.

July 26th 2019

I have a crush on Crystal.

They’re filming the other premiere today and we had some time to sneak away. I don’t know who she got weed from, but I owe them my life. We shared a joint and whenever she had it I just… stared at her. I don’t know how to explain it – she looked all glowy in the sunlight. Her hair – that fucking mullet – looked so soft and shiny, she looked like art.

I hate her. I want to hold her dumb hand and kiss her stupid face.

July 29th 2019

Crystal has a boyfriend. Of course she has a fucking boyfriend. Why wouldn’t she? There’s probably like, six other gay guys in Springfield and I bet they all want her. This is why I don’t do crushes. Crushes are bullshit. This is bullshit.

But… she held my hand in the van today. That was nice.

Fuck.

July 30th 2019

I kinda avoided Crystal on set today. I felt bad but it just made me sad and that’s not something I’m gonna deal with. I think Jackie suspects something’s up though. Her mama bear senses are tingling, I just know it. I thought it’d be annoying, but it’s nice having someone older and wiser keeping an eye on me.

Oh my god, Jackie’s my babysitter. Maybe I should talk to her about Crystal. I feel like she’d listen. She’ll probably try too hard to help, like it’s a puzzle that she needs to solve, but if I have to tell someone, it’d be her. And maybe it’ll make me miss Crystal a little less.

July 31st 2019

I was wrong, Jackie’s not my babysitter, she’s my mom. Not in a bad way, because obviously my mom’s the best, but in that she got very invested in the Crystal situation in the same way my mom always likes to hear about whatever guy I’m dating.

The good news is that Crystal’s relationship is open. I mean, that is good news, right? It feels like it should be, and my heart wants to latch onto the fact that I could have her in some capacity. Having her in any capacity almost feels like it’d be enough, at least for now.

She asked me if something was wrong, said I seemed ‘distant’. What was I supposed to do, tell her the truth? That’s ridiculous. I just apologized and said I was dealing with migraines. She offered to smoke me out next time she gets her hands on anything. And I know I’m not gonna be able to say no to her, there’s no point in even trying.

August 5th 2019

I think Crystal knows I like her. The energy between us has shifted and it… feels kinda good. She’s more touchy, more giggly. I think she even flirted with me today. I don’t know if she figured it out on her own, or if Jackie told her, but she’s onto me.

The thing is, I don’t know what to do about it. Yes, she’s in an open relationship, so it’s ‘technically’ okay, but it’s not the same. I don’t have anything against it, but… I don’t know, maybe I’m just selfish and want Crystal all to myself.

I feel guilty, then I feel stupid for feeling guilty, because I know I don’t need to be. Make it make sense.

August 6th 2019

If Jackie tells me one more time that I ‘need to talk to Crystal about my feelings’, I’m gonna blow up her spot about all those not-so-platonic gazes she keeps directing at a certain singing queen. She thinks I haven’t noticed, but she’s not subtle either. I wouldn’t do it on camera, though. That’d get too messy.

Besides, I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to explaining how I feel anyway. I don’t like explaining myself and I don’t like all that ‘bare your soul’ type of emotional intimacy. All I know is that I want Crystal in every way you can want someone. But that doesn’t seem like enough to say. Like, if I’m gonna spill my guts, I’d have to go all out. And I don’t want to do that. So. I’m gonna stay quiet and wait for this to blow over, like a normal person.

August 9th 2019

Crystal kissed me.

We were in the back of the van. I was talking about… I don’t even remember what I was talking about, but out of nowhere, she just kisses me, like it was normal, like it was the easiest thing in the world. It was soft, gentle, but with this little hint of desire that still has me hot under the collar.

And I didn’t know what to say. What the fuck was I supposed to say? I asked, “what was that for?” And she just smiled and said “you look really pretty and I wanted to.”

I wish I could’ve said something smart and funny, or flirt and bat my lashes. But no, that’s Gigi’s confidence and attitude. This was all Sam, an idiot whose brain short-circuited after one kiss. “Oh, thanks,” was all I said and I’m gonna be kicking myself for it until I’m dead. And right now, I’m hoping that’s soon.

August 12th 2019

I kissed Crystal this time. I needed to gain some semblance of control here. She seemed surprised, but also kind of relieved. Had she been worried I was mad or freaked out? Funny enough, her being relieved made me feel relieved too. I think we’re on the same page now. I don’t know what this means for us now, but I feel like it means something.

August 13th 2019

The good news is I’ve got Jackie off my back for now. The bad news is it’s because her girlfriend is probably planning my murder. I mean, at the end of the day, a win is a win. But the bruise I had on my ass for a week is a poignant reminder that Jan was a jock who could snap me in half if she wanted to.

Which is also weirdly hot? I can see why Jackie’s ‘secretly’ pining for her and shit. Or maybe I’m getting too lonely and need to get Crystal’s mouth on me again. Not even in a dirty way, though that mental image sure is nice…

August 14th 2019

Maybe I thought about that mental image too much, because I had a sex dream about Crystal last night, like, a hot one.

We were in the werkroom, the only ones in there, and Crystal’s sitting up on one of the tables, I’m standing in between his legs and we’re making out. Then it’s kinda blurry, but next, we’re both naked and I have him bent over the table. And I can remember pulling his hair and listening to him moan while I fuck him. It felt real, and I haven’t had a wet dream since high school.

I just hope it doesn’t affect me when I get on set, I can’t afford to lose focus because I’m too busy thinking about jumping Crystal’s bones.

August 19th 2019

So… I guess in a way, I manifested more physical intimacy between Crystal and I. I was telling him how I was all stressed and wound up after not doing well in the last challenge, and that I don’t think I did well with this one, and he’s quiet for a moment, then goes “let me help you feel better.”

And I’m just like, okay? I didn’t know what to expect, but then he takes his jacket off and puts it over my lap and… I’m perplexed. I’m intrigued. I’m aroused. Even when he’s undoing my jeans, I’m thinking, ‘there’s no way he’s actually gonna do this, right?’ But the only person that keeps an eye on us in the van is Jackie, and he’s got his own problems to worry about.

Long story short, Crystal jerked me off in the back of the van. It was hotter than I thought it’d be – I guess having to stay quiet because four other queens and a PA could’ve caught us adds an extra thrill. Of course, I would’ve returned the favor if we’d had time. Next time, though. Next time.

August 21st 2019

‘Next time’ did happen, and it came back to bite me on the ass. I didn’t think people really had Freudian slips until the way I said “we’re fucking in the top six” in Untucked. It didn’t help that Crystal had this smirky grin. Ugh, I could’ve died.

I feel like everyone knows, honestly. That they’re just not saying anything to be polite. I’m sure once this is all over, I’ll never hear the end of it, though.

August 24th 2019

I think I’m in love with Crystal. I knew I loved her, admired her, but… it’s more than that. And I think I’ve known for a while, but I haven’t been able to articulate it. Because it feels so different from anything I’ve ever felt before. Crystal is so different from anyone I’ve ever met before.

I don’t know what this means for us when this is all over. It’s not like I expect her to leave her boyfriend and move in with me here in LA. But I wouldn’t say no to that either, you know? Right now I feel selfish, that I just want her all to myself. But maybe I’m just sad that come Monday, it’ll be the last chunk of time we’ll have together for a while.

It’s barely been over a month and I already can’t picture my world without her. And… yeah, I’m in love with her.

August 29th 2019

Crystal and I had one day together before he had to go back home, and we made the most of it. We did the cute shit like go out to eat and take a walk, but I also got to take him back to my apartment and fuck him like I wanted to since day one.

I don’t know what this means for us, now. He’s back in Missouri, getting ready for the next Get Dusted show. I’m here, still in full drag after a photoshoot. I guess this is ‘back to normal’, but I don’t know how anything is ever going to feel normal again.

October 18th 2019

Filming Drag Race feels worlds away now, it’s weird being too busy to write most of the time. But by the same hand, it’s nice to always be occupied, lord knows I need it.

I still talk to Crystal every day, either through text or calls or FaceTime. It’s nice to be reassured he thinks of me as much as I think of him. When I’m alone, I start to worry that maybe this was one-sided. But I don’t need to say that to him, he can tell when I feel weird and talks me down without even trying.

The thing is, I’ve always felt the most beautiful when I am Gigi, like it’s the best representation of who I am. But Crystal makes me feel beautiful even when I just woke up and he’s listening to me complain about greasy skin. I didn’t really think about something like that, about letting someone else make me feel the way I thought I could only do for myself.

Crystal is just that special.

November 2nd 2019

Crystal told me he’s in love with me for the first time. I knew, I think I knew, but I didn’t realize how much it would mean to finally hear it. I cried, and I couldn’t even be embarrassed about it.

What was funny to me was when Crystal apologized. He said he’d known for so long, and felt guilty that he kept waiting to say it. He told me he didn’t think he could give me what he wanted because he wants to stay in Missouri. I told him I don’t care how far apart we are, or who he was with.

We have something special. I don’t care what it is, we’ll make it work. And besides, the promo shoot is just two months away.

January 4th 2020

I can’t even begin to explain how good it feels to be back with the cast. Obviously I’m thrilled to see Crystal, but all of us together just makes me feel whole. Jackie asked me how things with Crystal are, I said they couldn’t be better. I asked how things with Jan are, she said there are ‘a lot of question marks’.

Compared to them, my relationship with Crystal really isn’t that complicated. We love each other, we don’t need to put a label on that. I don’t know what’s going to happen when the show airs, but I know I’ll have Crystal. Even when we’re sixteen hundred miles apart.

#crygi #goodemethyd #rpdr rpf #rpdr fanfiction

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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These Words are My Own (From My Heart) (Crygi) - Joley

ao3 link

July 22nd 2019

July 25th 2019

But anyways.

July 26th 2019

I have a crush on Crystal.

I hate her. I want to hold her dumb hand and kiss her stupid face.

July 29th 2019

But… she held my hand in the van today. That was nice.

Fuck.

July 30th 2019

July 31st 2019

August 5th 2019

I feel guilty, then I feel stupid for feeling guilty, because I know I don’t need to be. Make it make sense.

August 6th 2019

August 9th 2019

Crystal kissed me.

And I didn’t know what to say. What the fuck was I supposed to say? I asked, “what was that for?” And she just smiled and said “you look really pretty and I wanted to.”

August 12th 2019

August 13th 2019

August 14th 2019

Maybe I thought about that mental image too much, because I had a sex dream about Crystal last night, like, a hot one.

I just hope it doesn’t affect me when I get on set, I can’t afford to lose focus because I’m too busy thinking about jumping Crystal’s bones.

August 19th 2019

August 21st 2019

I feel like everyone knows, honestly. That they’re just not saying anything to be polite. I’m sure once this is all over, I’ll never hear the end of it, though.

August 24th 2019

It’s barely been over a month and I already can’t picture my world without her. And… yeah, I’m in love with her.

August 29th 2019

October 18th 2019

Filming Drag Race feels worlds away now, it’s weird being too busy to write most of the time. But by the same hand, it’s nice to always be occupied, lord knows I need it.

Crystal is just that special.

November 2nd 2019

We have something special. I don’t care what it is, we’ll make it work. And besides, the promo shoot is just two months away.

January 4th 2020

#rpdr fanfiction #gigi goode #crystal methyd #crygi #canon compliant #journal fic #joley #s12

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surly01 · 3 years

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Memory and the Great Forgetting

“The struggle of man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting.” -Milan Kundera

What is it that we remember? And what memories do we leave behind?

Last week I had the opportunity to listen to Rocky Bleier speak at a breakfast meeting. Bleier was a hero of my young adulthood, part of a backfield tandem with Franco Harris on Pittsburgh's best 70s Steeler teams. During that talk, he touched on the frangibility of memory as he quoted author William Least Heat-Moon in "River Horse:"

"Our physical components change every seven years, so our brains are continuously passing along memories to a stranger; who we have been is only a ghostly fellow traveler. Were human memory total and perfect, perhaps I'd be only one person from start to finish, but forgetfulness cuts me off from who I've been so that hourly I am reborn."

Since our bodies refurbish our cells every seven years, we have at least this excuse. Which I will use. I've been embarrassed by having friends ask me if I recall an event and coming up with nothing. Inexplicable lacunas appear everywhere. So episodes, places, people as part of a life, all of who played a greater or lesser role, disappear into the mists. Then the mind skips, thinking of the shards of impressions we leave with others as we pass through their lives, partial, imperfect. Have we left behind flowers or broken crockery?

My wife and I had the opportunity with members of our extended family this past week. We enjoyed a day of sharing stories and hearing others for the first time in a day filled with laughter. I surprised myself by how much I looked forward to it, enjoyed it while happening, and look back on it fondly now. I don't think I realized how much we thirsted for family contact after 14 months of enforced isolation, thanks to Covid quarantine.

Bleier's story is well worth hearing. ESPN's Tom Rinaldi recorded a deeply moving recollection. Bleier went back to Vietnam to revisit the spot where he was ambushed and wounded. He recalls his journey from a hospital bed in Tokyo to overcome injuries and ultimately play for the Steelers. This story has been told in the book and movie "Fighting Back" and needs no further embellishment.

But Bleier was poignant on that morning, and his words resonated with a group of mostly older men:

"As I think back on the words of Heat-Moon, I am not that 23-year-old kid any longer. Although the highlights of my life are vivid, the retelling of the story is now gospel. Who I was, the emotions I had then, unfortunately, have faded with time. The story here is what I have learned over these 40 years. Maybe that's the question we end up asking ourselves. What have we learned? What have we done? Have we made a difference?"

There is memory, and there is intentional forgetting.

The world was shocked at the discovery of the remains of more than 200 children at a former native school in Canada last week. The Kamloops Indian residential school was the largest of several such schools, whose mission was to take the next generation of Native American children away from family and tribe and indoctrinate them for "assimilation." The net result was to sever them irrevocably from their culture. Such schools existed in both Canada and the US generally dressed up in some sort of soggy, whitebread do-gooderism. Today we call that "cultural genocide."

Charles Pierce notes:

The revelations in Canada came just as President Joe Biden flew to Tulsa to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the destruction of the Greenwood section of the city and the race massacre that ensued. The standard response over much of the mainstream media was a surprise that these events had been disappeared from history. Of course, there was a concerted effort in Tulsa to cover up the crimes, up to and including removing stories from newspaper archives. But there was more to it than that. Imperial power, as somebody once said to Ron Suskind, creates its own reality, and imperial power can be exercised domestically as well as overseas… Events are made to disappear as a kind of historical getaway car.

Not for nothing has Gore Vidal called this country "The United States of Amnesia." The Tulsa Black Wall Street massacre is just one of many that have been papered over in our Great Forgetting. Look up New Orleans in 1866, Wilmington in 1898, Wounded Knee, or just click this link here. Most "white" people in this country are sore aggrieved at being confronted with the US's blood-soaked history of slavery and genocide. See the recent backlash against the 1619 project and the teaching of "critical race theory," a construct its critics would be hard-pressed to explain. Except that they know that the long-deferred confrontation with its racist past will cause children to ask questions their parents would rather not answer.

American "personhood" is conditional. Anyone who doubts that has not been called "a god-damned dago” to his face, as I have. [It amuses me that so many Italian-Americans are hyper-partisan "patriots" of the red-white-and bluest sort. It's almost as if they intuit that the American Racial Contract recently conferring Italians full Personhood can be revoked at any time.] That Racial Contract means that nonwhite sub-personhood is enshrined alongside white personhood. The rules do not apply to nonwhites in the same way that they apply to whites, and promises made to "all citizens" are clearly negotiable depending on the claimant's race. In 1857, Rover Taney issued the worst Supreme Court decision of all time, the Dred Scott decision. He wrote that "[African Americans] had no rights which the white man was bound to respect..."

What has really changed in 164 years? Kundera was right about the power of memory against forgetting because, very often, it's the only power that victims hold, even from the grave. It's why we had trials at Nuremberg. And why our elites are busily rewriting history, from the January 6 Insurrection to last year's Covid response. Elites resist accountability with all they have, and memory is our last defense. So if memory disappears, we find ourselves once again living in Greenwood's ashes or in Kamloops as the bodies are buried, wondering once again how such a thing could have happened.

#memory #Rocky bleier #William Least Heat Moon #Tulsa #1619 project

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thtdamfangirl4 · 5 years

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Saying Goodbye to The Good Place

Tonight I watched one of my favorite shows in history end. I watched it live with freaking commercials and I tuned out the rest of the world. And I cried my eyes out so many times. And I don’t know how well I can explain that, or how exactly to put into words what this show has meant to me, but I’m going to cry.

I started watching this show when season 2 came on Netflix. I had heard good things about it online and a friend or two had watched it, so I decided to give it a try. (I had watched the first, like, 2 episodes months before but hadn’t kept going or given it a real chance.) I found myself completely hooked. I watched the first season in two days and had finished everything the show had to offer by the end of the week, diving into tumblr accounts, twitter threads, the cast’s social media pages. None of that is uncommon for me when I first become obsessed with a show.

But The Good Place was uncommon. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen, and remains so to this day. It had fabulous humor in many facets, from Jason’s lovable idiocy to Chidi’s relatable indecision to Eleanor’s perfectly captured selfishness to Tahani’s name-dropping to Janet’s cacti to Michael’s comments about humans and the dynamics between them all and so much more. And the show, the writers, balanced all of that with so much heart. With Eleanor’s drive to be better. With Chidi’s ever-present willingness to help. With Jason’s unexpected and loving wise advice. With Tahani’s desire to be loved. With Michael’s growing understanding of humans and our lives. With Janet’s evolution and coming to understand what it means to feel and to love. And it was absolutely beautiful to watch these characters go through whatever they might go through in a given episode. I would watch this balance of perfectly imperfect in any situation you put on my screen.

But the writers and creators put them in a situation I’d never imagined would be on TV: discovering morality and spirituality in the afterlife. These characters navigated dilemmas we all face in our everyday lives. They made jokes and went through ridiculous scenarios and reboots and they messed up and tried time and time again, and through it all, we the viewers were learning. To be good. To be better. Maybe not necessarily by copying these characters, and certainly not their lives on earth, but by inspiring us to think about these questions and the implications of our lives. This show was a lovely escape from reality for 22 minutes until the picture faded and I found myself contemplating the things Chidi’s ethics class had tackled that week, or thinking about my own actions, what my version of the good place would be. All in all, this show made me think about the kind of person I want to be. And it actually made me a better person.

I think a lot about the little speeches made on this show, which have been anything but little to me. (Don’t get me started on Chidi’s wave speech I’ll be crying about it every day forever.) And I find myself thinking about what Michael says to Bad Janet almost every day. That what matters is that we try to be a little better today than we were yesterday. That that’s where hope for humanity lies. And that thought, that simple thought which should not boggle the mind of any decent human being, is groundbreaking. Because these simple and profound truths about the universe and humanity were nestled in every single episode of the good place, right there between jokes about Jason’s dance crew and Janet’s void. And they found their way into our lives, and I know that even just watching this show once a week was one of the things that made me a better person that day. Which is why I’m so grateful to this show.

Eleanor taught me that it’s okay to make mistakes. That being a little trashy is always fun as long as you have a good heart. And she and Chidi taught me that love is out there. That soulmates are something you make, not something you find, and that even if you can’t understand why at first, people who love you are going to come into your life and the real ones won’t disappear. She taught me that the walls have to come down someday, and that when they do, the view is so much better. Most importantly, she taught me that nothing is ever set in stone. That people can change and get better and learn to love and care and be loved and cared for.

Chidi taught me that the little things can’t hold me back. I felt seen by his (albeit, exaggerated) indecision and anxiety. But he grew throughout this show and through his journey, I learned to move aside the little struggles to make room for the big joys. I learned that helping someone is always worth my time, because even if I never see them again, or I never get thanked, I’m putting a little more good into the world. And he would always do that. He taught me that it’s okay to come into your own and stand up for yourself and what you believe in. He and Eleanor taught me that there’s always someone out there who has your back, and that love means putting someone else first. I especially saw that in the finale.

Tahani taught me that it’s okay to know who I am. That confidence is something each person deserves to feel. She taught me that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be loved, as long as you remind yourself that it doesn’t determine your worth. She taught me that mistakes are a tool for learning, but they can’t be used if we pretend we didn’t make them. She taught me that it’s okay to be a little frivolous when frivolity brings you joy. She taught me that spite can be a great motivator, but the results are much more fruitful and enjoyable when you do things for other people.

Jason taught me that I don’t have to have all the answers. That there’s more to life than numbers and books and school and all the things that give a college student looking at the future anxiety. He taught me that it’s love that matters, and doing the things that bring you joy. He taught me that people are not always what they appear to be at first glance, and that everyone has something worthwhile to say. He taught me that words don’t have to be fancy or eloquent to be poignant and meaningful. He taught me that embracing who you are and what/who you love is what makes a person happy.

Janet taught me that knowledge isn’t everything. She reinforced the idea that emotions are not inferior or contrary to facts and knowledge, but rather something even deeper and more meaningful than trivia or information that could come from google. She taught me that life is a complicated mess full of millions of questions, and there are some that cannot be answered. She taught me that you love who you love, even if it’s unexpected, and there is zero shame in that. And she taught me that one of the noblest pursuits in the world is that of making people happy, especially the people you love.

Michael taught me that humans are complex, and sometimes they kind of suck, but they are still worth loving. He proved that people are not all good or all bad. He taught me that what matters is trying to be good and kind and honest and loving. He taught me not to give up on what I know is right. He taught me that it’s okay to change your mind when you learn new things, and that it’s more than okay to decide to do what’s right at any stage in the game. He taught me that people are worth believing in. He taught me that being wrong can be one of the most rewarding things in the world. And he taught me that the human life we have is a gift.

Together, these characters taught me that we are all capable of changing and improving. They taught me that it’s okay to be who you are, even if a lot of things change. You can still be loved for all of your little quirks and flaws and habits. You are worthy of being loved even if you aren’t the best version of you yet. And they taught me that we can all get there eventually. More than anything, they taught me that the love we have for each other, the bonds we build with the people in our lives, the friends, the family, the significant others, everyone, is what makes us human and what makes us whole. It drives us to be better and to make others happy. It supports us and holds us as we grow together.

So I just want to say thank you. To Michael Shur for creating this show and its characters. To the writers for making me fall in love with these people and stories. To Kristen Bell and Ted Danson and William Jackson Harper and Jameela Jamil and Manny Jacinto and D’Arcy Carden for bringing these characters to life and making them into people that I will never be able to let go of. To anyone involved with this beautiful show that I have enjoyed through the very end. Thank you for giving me a reason to laugh, cry, contemplate, and feel content with a show that was groundbreaking and stunning and hilarious and heartwarming with thousands of good moments and a perfect ending. These characters will always be a part of my heart, and I will always try to be a little better tomorrow than I was today because of them. Thank you, and goodbye to new episodes. I have a feeling I’ll be watching all the ones which are now old time and time again.

#the good place #tgp #eleanor shellstrop #chidi anagonye #michael #tahani al jamil #jason mendoza #janet #kristen bell #ted danson #william jackson harper #jameela jamil #manny jacinto #d'arcy carden #michael shur #goodbye good place

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tillidontneedfantasy · 5 years

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‘WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?’ - Billie Eilish REVIEW: Making ‘Em Bow One By One

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?

An interesting question you pose there, Billie. When I fall asleep, I usually dream about being a part of the Harry Potter universe and trying to defeat Voldemort with the golden trio. But unfortunately, I don’t go there every night. I mean, believe me, fighting off The Dark Lord can be scary sometimes. But sometimes I go to even darker places, and it always takes a few moments when waking up to believe I’m really in my bed. Much of Billie Eilish’s debut album invites you into the dark parts of her subconscious, and sometimes her extreme consciousness, to which she goes. Of course, “asleep” could also be interpreted as, well, dead. Which is a nice way to phrase it. Ideal, really. How wonderful would it be if death was just an eternal nap? No one would ever be afraid to die.

Maybe that’s what Billie believes it is, and why she seems so desperate to go there on WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? (WWAFA,WDWG?) For a then-16-year-old girl, I wish she wasn’t so tired. “ilomilo,” “bury a friend” and most concerning, “listen before I go,” explore her friends who have been taken from her, and her desire to join them. I’m glad she hasn’t.

So is she. In a now traditional Vanity Fair video, Billie answers the same interview questions three years in a row, exactly a year apart. Expect The Fourth Year one October 18th, 2020. It is one of the most fascinating videos I have ever watched. Though the same at the core, there is a different version of Billie in each year. Which is to be expected, as she is a teenager in the limelight. But the video of year 2, which was around 5 months prior to WWAFA,WDWG?’s release, Billie openly admits to being in a very dark place, discussing how her friend had died. Her posture and affect are noticeably different in years 1 and 3. In the third and latest installment, Billie is an upgraded, happier and more comfortable version of the previous two. You can hear the change in her voice, see it in her face. In response to the question, “What’s most important to you right now?” her answer is, “Maintaining my happiness, which I have been experiencing for the first time in many years….I wanna stay happy. That’s a big goal for me.”

Billie Eilish is one of the biggest breakout stars of the past few years. Her following is enormous, and though fans vary in age, many of them fall in her cohort. Generation Z is special in many ways: morbidly funny, proudly outspoken, self-aware, and unafraid to be different. Billie Eilish is all of these things incarnate, the perfect spearhead for this generation and what they represent. She dresses how she wants to dress and makes the kind of music that she wants to make, refusing to follow the molded expectations of young up and coming female stars before her. In that music, she also does what very few artists, young or old, have ever done: candidly explores mental illness and suicidal ideation.

These issues have become more and more prevalent in today’s society, yet they are still extremely stigmatized. Like many teenagers, I experienced the sadness and darkness Billie is singing about. I’m almost 25 now, but I can imagine how 15-year-old Cass would feel hearing this album and seeing Billie as she is in the third year of that Vanity Fair interview. Understood. Not alone. And hopeful, hopeful that things get better. At that age you feel like everything is the end of the world, because it is developmentally and socially some of the most difficult years in the human experience. And to hear someone you look up to say, “I feel this way, too,” and then see them continue fighting, and happy that they did...that can change someone’s life.

Thankfully, Billie still injects some levity into the album. The musical hook in “bad guy” feels like a defining moment for Gen Z the way the musical hook in “Toxic” was for us Millennials. “all the good girls go to hell” unflinchingly decrees that God Is A Woman™, and “my strange addiction” has cuts from The Office, Eilish’s favorite show, interspersed throughout the song. Gen Z is taking over, and Billie’s one hell of a ringleader.

STRONGEST TRACK(S): “i love you,” “xanny”

The phrase “I love you” has never felt so intimate as it does coming from Billie’s mouth in the penultimate track on WWAFA,WDWG? Sandwiched between two tracks where all together they form a sentence (listen before I go, I love you, goodbye) "i love you" is the most mesmerizing and most vulnerable, not just of the three but of the whole album. As a listener, you are dying to know what's hidden between the lines. Why doesn't she want to love this person even though she clearly does? What did she do to make him cry? Why are you, the listener, crying right now? With the smallest breath, the quietest whisper, the emotion Eilish emits is enormous. Every once in a while you hear a song that you feel will never leave you, and “i love you” has all the makings to be everlasting.

As does the message in “xanny,” a dynamic song that mostly sounds like an old-time jazz track, although infuses a blaring noise over the chorus, as if you are standing right next to the booming stereo at the party setting in which she speaks. The layering of hums in the background and at the end of the song provides a necessary subtle softness, making it all the more beautiful. The track is a statement from Eilish that she has no interest in the lifestyle that so many kids her age- famous or not- lead, partly because she does not understand the appeal of its effects, and partly because she does not want to invest herself in someone willingly bringing harm upon themself, as she previously has. “I can’t afford to love someone who isn’t dying by mistake,” she asserts. Of course, most things in moderation are good and fine, but there is an ever-persistent pressure for young people to use substances, for easier social interactions or easier claim to desirable social status. There is a plethora of music out there promoting the party lifestyle, but very few saying, “hey, it’s okay if you’re not about this, you’re still cool,” and so a celebrity as big as Billie abstaining from it, and providing a reasonable explanation, gives a figure of understanding and solidarity to all the outliers.

WEAKEST TRACK: “8”

Not a bad song by any means, “8” is just the least memorable on an album filled with extremely intriguing and standout tracks. There is an interesting choice of vocal styles that alternate throughout, one of which it sounds as if Eilish is emulating the voice of a little girl. She is asking the subject to just give her some common courtesy and hear her out. "Who am I to be in love / when your love never is for me?" she asks, in the most compelling moment of the song. It is a difficult line to walk, knowing someone doesn't owe you anything but wanting them to anyway. Although the song is effective, its replay value doesn't quite match with the other contenders.

THE IN-BETWEENS

Although Eilish is authentic in her own right, you can see the draw of inspiration from unique artists before her. Lorde's imprint is all over "you should see me in a crown," a catchy song about ruling the world and making everyone bow down to her with the sound of a knife sharpening at the top, and “listen before i go” is reminiscent of Lana Del Rey’s morose romances. “when the party’s over,” written solely by Billie’s brother, collaborator, and best friend, Finneas O’Connell, is a beautifully quiet moment in the middle of the album, with absolutely gorgeous high notes from Billie. The song is succinct and poignant, noting the inner conflict between wanting a friend to be more than just that and yet feeling the need to keep up boundaries to protect your heart; but when has that done anyone any good?

BEST PROSPECTIVE SINGLE: “my strange addiction”

In the age of Netflix, The Office continues to grow in popularity with younger viewers who missed it on air. Who better to bolster the movement than Verified The Office super fan, Billie Eilish? In “my strange addiction,” Eilish and O’Connell draw inspiration from the classic episode, “Threat Level Midnight,” where Michael Scott (Steve Carrell) has finally finished his movie and is ready to premiere it to the office. In his movie, Scott’s character, Michael Scarn, teaches the entire bar how to do his signature dance, “The Scarn.” “No, Billie, I haven’t done that dance since my wife died!” the song begins, which is a real line from the episode. “my strange addiction” borrows from the track for “The Scarn,” which is simply genius. Everyone is doing “The Scarn,” fictional or nonfictional, even NFL player Trey Quinn, who did the famed routine for his touchdown dance. Not only will “my strange addiction” convert The Office fans to Billie Eilish fans, but just imagine the amount of TikToks there could be of people doing “The Scarn” to this song…think about the meme potential, Billie! *Ed Helms voice* There’s a whole crowd of people out there who need to learn how to do the “my strange addiction.”

*****

Billie Eilish, and her debut album, WWAFA,WDWG? is impressive in a multitude of ways: she is raw, candid, silly, wildly intelligent, and most importantly, full of a lot of love, no matter how much she claims she does not want to be. Perhaps most impressive is that the only writers and producers credited on this album are Eilish and O’Connell, ages 18 and 22, respectively, at the time of this review, yet 17 and 21 at the time of its release, which means they were 16 and 20 at the time of writing and production. For two young people to create such an impactful album on such a massive scale on their own is a rarity, and has not been seen since the beginning of Taylor Swift’s career, and look at where she is now. Billie’s music might be different, but her trajectory seems quite similar. At Billboard’s Women in Music ceremony in December of 2019, Swift was honored with Woman of the Decade while Eilish was honored with Woman of the Year. Both artists paid homage to the other in their speeches, harkening back to Swift’s 2014 Woman of the Year speech where she alludes to a future Woman of the Year recipient learning piano and singing in choir; Swift had said back then that we need to take care of her, and Eilish tearfully thanked the room for doing just that. As Swift continues to fight against the system to pave the way for female artists, the clearing is all Billie’s. If Billie continues to maintain ownership of her voice, as I’m sure she will, it looks like the woman of the next decade is a lock. The crown looks great on Billie, and I cannot wait to see where she takes us while we’re all awake. Grade: 4.5/5

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: The first time I listened to WWAFA,WDWG? the only tracks that really captured my attention were “bad guy” and “my strange addiction.” I wanted to like it so bad, but I felt like I was missing something. Maybe that’s because I listened to the album at work and did not take it in properly. But I also felt like she was whispering too much, which made it difficult for me to stay interested. So I did not revisit it. However, over this past year, despite not listening to her music, I started to form a big-sister-type love for Billie, feeling as if I must protect her at all costs (any man over the age of like, 20, reading this: stay the fuck away from her you sickos!!!). I loved how she embraced her individuality and did whatever she wanted. I watched many interviews of her on YouTube (one being the Vanity Fair one, where she talks about how the criticism that she whispers a lot is hurtful yet true- Billie, I’m sorry!!) and found her to be so intelligent. To me, her and Taylor Swift (my number one love) are two sides of the same coin, or two paths to the same destination. What I mean by that is that as a lover of music and as a girl going through a difficult time, sometimes you need positivity to counteract the negative feelings, other times you need to lean into the sadness to release it all; though they both possess a bit of both, Taylor is more of the positive route, Billie more of the sad route. The thing is, you need both options. Billie reminds me of Taylor so much; she writes all of her own music (with her brother as her only co-writer), she has blown up at such a young and vulnerable age (if WWAFA,WDWG? wins AOTY at the Grammys, Billie will be the youngest ever recipient since Taylor won for Fearless at the age of 20), and she is committed to saying and doing what she wants to do the way she wants to do it. After listening to the album a few more times leading up to the Grammys to write this review, I get it. I truly get it. I’m sorry it took so long. And although her super soft vocals are definitely effective, I still want her to project more. The girl has a gorgeous voice; she should use it! But also she doesn’t need my advice, she’s doing fine. Keep whispering, baby girl. I feel very nervous for Billie, because when a woman reaches the top this quickly, everyone gets ready to push her off just as fast, and the fall can be fatal. But I believe in her ability to stand her ground. Please protect Billie at all costs!!!!

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coolgreatwebsite · 5 years

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Cool Games I Finished In 2019 (In No Real Order)

We’re here. The end of the decade. 2019 was a weird, turbulent year for me. Despite my cross-country move already being a year behind me somehow, nothing’s really settled yet. Living situation is still weird, still separated from most of my belongings, I left my full-time QA job for a contractor position at a mobile game advertising company that may or may not convert into a full-time position... everything about what’s going on with me still just feels like I’m completely winging it, and while that’s not a position I’m really comfortable being in for such an extended amount of time, everything seems to be working out okay enough despite it. All this is probably why I spent most of my time playing the shit out of a handful of games rather than playing a bunch of different games this year! Needed some sort of stability. Also when I did manage to pull myself away from the timesink games and play something else, a lot of them ranged from “okay” to “real bad”. But I still managed to play just enough stuff that I liked to where I can put out yet another one of these. Here’s a bunch of cool games I experienced for the first time in 2019.

Phantasy Star Online: Blue Burst (PC, 2005)

I haven’t bothered to do two thirds of the story quests yet and have barely touched any Episode 4 content so this game technically doesn’t count for this list, but if I left it off I would be neglecting to mention an extremely large portion of my video game playing time this year. I fell back into PSO preeeettty hard this year after the surprise announcement of Phantasy Star Online 2 finally coming to the US. Guess what: game still rules. It feels stiff to play and it’s obviously far less expansive than it seemed back in 2000, but the core of Phantasy Star Online is still as fun as it ever was and the aesthetics are still entirely my shit. I love everything about the way this game looks and sounds, I love stumbling on a weird new weapon, I love participating in the custom seasonal events the server I’m on runs, and I love how oddly relaxing the experience of playing this game and taking it all in is. I will probably continue to play Phantasy Star Online into 2020. I will probably still dip back into it after PSO2 US servers finally launch. If I know you and you want to join my Discord server for PSO get at me. PSO forever.

Cookie’s Bustle (PC, 1999)

You ever play a game that just speaks to you? Even through a language barrier? A game so incredibly out there and bizarre in the exact way you love that you can’t help but adore it despite barely understanding it? Holy moly did I ever find that game. I learned about Cookie’s Bustle through a news story last year about some rare games leaking from a Japanese collector’s stash. Didn’t manage to get it to run back then, but my off and on attempts to get it working finally paid off in March of this year and I’m so glad I kept trying. I knew nothing of this game other than it had a weird name and was about a bear doing sports, and it turned out to be a fully voice-acted and mostly unsubtitled adventure game starring Cookie Blair, a 5 year old girl from New Jersey who sees herself as a teddy bear and has traveled to Bombo World, an island nation once visited by aliens and currently in the middle of a civil war, to participate in the Bombo Sports Tournament. Dead level, I probably shouldn’t have been able to genuinely love Cookie’s Bustle as much as I did. The only context I had for what was happening and what I was supposed to do was provided by a 20-year-old Google translated walkthrough with broken images, the game’s slightly higher than usual reliance on English loan words, and 30-ish years of video games and anime allowing me to halfway pick up on a handful of Japanese words. However, Cookie’s Bustle is dripping with an undeniable and off-beat charm that genuinely transcends language. Even if you can’t understand the words and specifics, you can understand the basic plot, characterizations, and emotions they’re going for. Cookie’s Bustle manages to both be completely off-the-wall bizarre and feel totally genuine and heartfelt at the same time, a balance very few games manage to successfully hit but many of my favorites do. One could say that’s why it seems to have resonated with a decent amount of other people this year, too. Games rarely make me feel sad that they’re over. but when they do that’s how I know they’re one of the good ones. Seriously, go look up a longplay or stream of Cookie’s Bustle if you (understandably) don’t want to go through the hassle of setting it up and figuring out how to play it, it’s impossible not to love.

Devil May Cry 5 (PlayStation 4, 2019)

Here’s something crazy to think about: Devil May Cry 4 came out 11 years ago. Aside from being a potent reminder that time is moving too fast and we’re all going to die soon, that means that there hasn’t been a DMC for over a decade. Devil May Cry 5 does not bare this fact even a little bit. Not only did they pick up right where they left off and manage to make another Devil May Cry game without missing a beat, they made arguably the best Devil May Cry game. I mean I still like the story and single-character focus of DMC3 the best, but DMC5 is the best playing game in the series without a doubt. Nero finally feels like he has a complete and complex toolset, Dante is the most mechanically dense and fun to play he’s ever been, and they even added a new guy that’s... neat to play as, until you start trying to S-rank the harder difficulties. Then he’s kind of annoying to play as. But it’s still cool that they tried something totally different and mostly got it to work! They also did something very stupid that I love and used this game as an excuse to make literally every single piece of Devil May Cry media canon. Like, characters exclusively from the anime and the books show up and act like they’re someone you already know and love? And they go out of their way to explain the most esoteric lore shit possible?? And despite it all they still intentionally give DMC2 as short a shrift as they can??? It’s so dumb, it rules. It’s just one of the many things about the game that show that even with so long of a gap between entries, no love for the series was lost by the people that make it. I don’t think the suits at Capcom expected this game to hit as hard as it did though, because despite there being clear areas where the game could be expanded on with DLC there still hasn’t been anything announced. I hope they’re maybe saving it for some sort of DMC3-esque special edition, or maybe just already working on DMC6, because even after getting all S-ranks I still wanted to play more. The game’s just that damn good.

Hypnospace Outlaw (PC, 2019)

I expected very little from Hypnospace Outlaw. I backed the game on Kickstarter solely because it looked cool and I thought a game about fake GeoCities was neat, and then I immediately forgot about it until it released. Admittedly my lack of expectations stemmed mostly from the fact that it’s kind of hard to set expectations for a game you never really thought too hard about, but even in the brief period of time where I considered it enough to give it money, I never expected it to be much more than a pretty-looking 101 Great GeoCities Jokez delivery vehicle. Boy was I wrong. I mean, it is incredibly good at that, but Hypnospace Outlaw is so much more than a funny period piece. The basic premise is that you’re in alternate universe 1999 and have just become a community moderator for an Internet service provider that allows people to connect to the Internet while they sleep. You’re tasked with browsing the game’s weird fake Internet and issuing demerits to users who violate the five basic Hypnospace rules, but it quickly evolves into something way bigger. Hypnospace Outlaw’s greatest strength is its exceptional ability at weaving together subtle world building, small and engaging character arcs, esoteric microjokes, and a genuine sense of mystery and discovery into an incredibly cohesive and engaging package. It’s as much a game about the people that use and run its weird fake Internet as it is about that weird fake Internet itself. And a lot of the problems both face echo the problems we face with our real world Internet today. When I was mapping out writing this article like a month or two ago I was prepared to go on about how at its core, Hypnospace Outlaw is an incredibly poignant story about how uncaring tech corporations actively harm their users and always have, but then a couple of days ago I read Colin Spacetwinks’ game of the year list and his #1 entry put most everything I would have said about that topic down in a way more eloquent and well-written way than I ever could have. And then I remembered that Friend Of The Site Heidi Kemps covered some of the same angle but from the perspective of the early Internet in an article earlier this year, again way better than I could have. So I highly recommend you read those when you’re done here. What I wanna bring up instead is just how effortlessly surprising and interconnected a lot of stuff in Hypnospace feels, using a mildly spoiler-ish late game example. Two of the first “zones” you’re allowed to moderate when you start Hypnospace Outlaw are Teentopia and Goodtime Valley, which are essentially alternate universe Yahooligans and a little slice of Hypnospace just for Boomers respectively. On Teentopia you’ll see a bunch of kids that are wild for Squisherz, Hypnospace’s alternate universe version of Pokémon, and over in Goodtime Valley you’ll see (much like there was back in real world 1999) a few pages made by religious fundamentalists convinced that everything the kids like these days is the work of Satan. This of course includes Squisherz, and you can find a page by one organization full of crackpot conspiracy theories with flimsy evidence that TOTALLY DEFINITELY backs up their claim. Squisherz contains a wolf, which the Bible warns about many times! This giraffe monster CLEARLY has a pentagram in its design!! And the eye of this snake-like Squisherz is the eye of Horus, an Egyptian occult symbol and NEED I REMIND YOU that Lucifer took the form of a snake in the Garden of Eden!!! It is very clear what this page is goofing on and throughout the course of the game it doesn’t get updated at all, so it’s very easy to laugh at it and forget about it. Very late into the game, you get an optional sidequest. Adrian Merchant, one of the CEOs of Merchantsoft, the company that created Hypnospace, was found out to have logged traffic indicating he was a frequent visitor of a website called Children of HORUS, and a call is put out to investigate what that even is. You can easily find the website, but it asks you for a password if you click the Enter button. Adrian Merchant is consistently portrayed throughout the game as a complete idiot, and the solution to this puzzle has you capitalize on that. Another early game objective ended up with you finding a list of cracked passwords, and one of those passwords happens to be for the instant messenger account of Adrian Merchant. If you can remember that he was even in that text file from forever ago, and then put two and two together that of COURSE that dumbass would use the same password for everything, you just punch in his messenger password and you’re granted access to the Children of HORUS page. It turns out that HORUS is an acronym that stands for Hiding Occult References in Utmost Secrecy, and the page itself is a basic leaderboard with a list of names and two numbered columns reading “Hidden” and “Found”. In that list of names you’ll find A. Merchant, along with the names of various other CEOs and celebrities you might have read about elsewhere in Hypnospace. One of the other names on this list is F. Kazuma, the CEO of Monarch, creators of Squisherz. The funny conspiracy theory website from the beginning of the game that you most likely forgot about was, about this one specific thing, correct. There was an eye of Horus hidden on the snake from Squisherz. Not as any sort of Satanic plot, mind you, but only as part of some weird millionaire dickwaving contest. This dumb tiny revelation is not called out by the game at all and nothing comes of it, it’s just there for you to notice if you’ve been paying enough attention. Hypnospace Outlaw is LITTERED with stuff like this. Weird small interconnected things you wouldn’t expect to be interconnected. Little dumb things you wouldn’t expect to have any sort of payoff but somehow do. And it’s also just as chock full of big things. Having all the pieces fall into place at once to where I was able to access Hypnospace’s equivalent of the dark web was the best sequence in a game this year for me, even beating out the outlandish shit in DMC5. Getting and solving the final case was a rush. Hypnospace Outlaw is full of incredible moments big and small. It’s genuinely engaging and affecting, which is so much more than I was expecting from a game that was pitched to me as “Funny GeoCities Cop”. It almost has no right being so good. But it is. Hell, even the music rules! I didnt even get into that! I don't have enough time or space to get into that now! The music is so goddamn good! I know I started these lists because I had no interest in ranking games, but every year I sort of jokingly-but-not-jokingly say “haha this game sure would be my number one if I did that!” for at least one game. It’s time to fully lean into it. I don’t gotta rank ‘em all, but I can pick a favorite. Hypnospace Outlaw is my favorite game of 2019 with a goddamn bullet.

These games were also cool, I just had less to say about them:

Etrian Odyssey (Nintendo DS, 2007): Man, this series just started out good, huh? I dabbled with the first two games in college when I got a DS flashcart but never really dug in until EO4, and the first game is enjoyable in just about every way the modern ones are. Definitely more barebones and punishing though. Kero Blaster (PlayStation 4, 2017): This is a game by the creator of Cave Story that does not aim to be Cave Story, and that’s fine! A fun little shooter in its own right, though I do think the shooting in Cave Story felt a little better than it does here. Space Invaders Extreme (Nintendo DS, 2008): I played the shit out of this game in college thanks to that flashcart I mentioned before, but I never finished a playthrough in full until this year for some reason. Still way stylish and way fun! I need to get a copy of the second one... CROSSNIQ+ (Nintendo Switch, 2019): Incredibly chill puzzle game that can be as hard or easy as you want it to be. Almost uncanny in how well it emulates the style of late PS1/Dreamcast games. Super Mario Maker 2 (Nintendo Switch, 2019): Mario Maker 2 is kind of weird for me. It’s a solid improvement in a lot of aspects, but a clear regression in a lot of others. Also the online multiplayer is the second least amount of fun I’ve had with a video game this year (Secret of Mana swooped in and stole the number one slot near the end). Still, I had a lot of fun with it and I’ll probably end up going back to it eventually. Katamari Damacy Reroll (Nintendo Switch, 2018): The original Katamari Damacy is still every bit as fun and charming as it was upon its original release. This port is weirdly based on the Japanese version with the English text inserted, which means no English voice acting and Wanda Wanda only plays in the multiplayer mode. The Joycon sticks also aren’t the greatest for doing charge rolls. But none of these faults detract too much from the game. Bring on We Love Katamari Reroll! Earth Defense Force 5 (PlayStation 4, 2018): Sandlot somehow keeps finding ways to make each new EDF bigger and explodier, and EDF5 is the biggest and explodiest yet. I think the mission design in 4.1 was more solid overall, but 5 feels the best to play and has the most fun tools. Also the dialogue is the most absurd its ever been, and the final boss goes for it way harder than the series ever has. Pokémon Shield (Nintendo Switch, 2019): This game is honestly just okay, but leaving it off would again be neglecting a game I put a ton of time into this year. Pokémon Sword is fun in the way most Pokémon games usually are, and extremely half-baked in basically every other aspect. I’m still having a good time putting together teams and finding shinies and doing The Pokémon Thing regardless.

And that’s 2019 (and this decade) in the bag! I don’t know where anything’s going from here, but I’m going to ride it out as best as I can! I hope you do too! As always, thank you so much for getting to the bottom of all these words. I’m hoping to be in a more stable place mid-2020, and then I want to get back to all the things I haven’t had time to do. I want to get back to streaming, I want to write more dumb articles like The Best Babies, I want to do it all! I hope I will be able to do it all. Until then!

#article #year wrapup

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years

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03/30/2020 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 13:1-15:23, Luke 8:40-9:6, Psalms 71:1-24, Proverbs 12:5-7

Today's the 30th day of March, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I’m Brian it's great to be here with you. Can you believe tomorrow's the last day of March? I…well…I'll try to have it believed by tomorrow but we’re in today. This is 30th of March and we’re continuing our journey in the book of Deuteronomy and in the book of Luke and we’re reading from the New International Version this week. Deuteronomy chapters 13, 14 and 15.

Commentary:

Alright. So, in the book of Deuteronomy, as we know, these are the final things that Moses has to say to the children of Israel. So, we’re reviewing things. They’re more tight and concise. Rather than sort of like reading the giving of the law, we’re hearing his last discourses. But he comes to one today that's about as big of a command about as big of a deal as can be in this culture, and that is idolatry. And, we can roll our eyes and go, “idolatry, who worship idols? That’s so stupid. What are those people thinking?” Like we can think these things and because they’re not like major issues in the world today, we would consider them irrelevant, but this is not irrelevant. So, Moses is telling people that a prophet or a person, a dreamer comes and says something about the future or gives a sign of some sort or performs some type of miraculous thing or something that they say does happen. So, like, let’s just pause, like just stop there and suppose that happens because usually if something like that happens we are drawn to know more and to may be persuaded by that person because it seems as if something's going on, right? God’s doing something. So, so far so good, no problem. I'm just pointing out if these kinds of things happen, we get drawn into them, which may be in fact a very good thing or in fact may be a very bad thing. Like we can just follow the signs, or we can have a wise heart of discernment, which is what Moses is trying to instill into the people. So he’s like, “if that happens and something they say does come true and then they say, come, let us worship other God's, then you know.” And Moses wasn't messing around about this. I mean he was saying like, “even if this person is a family member and their enticing you to go worship false gods, then you should be very clear and intentional about getting them out of your lives.” That's like a big deal. And, so, when we read through passages like this and sort of try to read through our modern lenses and go, “man this is really harsh. It doesn't like…it doesn't…why is it such a big deal?” I mean this behavior, Idolatry being…seducing people away from God is a capital offense in this culture. So, like, wow! Why? Why is it that big of a deal? So, if we take off our modern lenses and just like go back several thousand years into a very tribal world, especially where all this is going on, people, communities, nations, literally…they literally made images and then declared them their gods and sacrificed before them and created all kinds of stuff that they had to do as acts of devotion. And it's not like this is a foreign concept to the children of Israel. All we have to is go back to Mount Sinai. We spent so much time there in the book of Exodus and we remember that Aaron was asked by the people to make them new gods because Moses disappeared. And then Aaron’s just like, “I just took all the earrings and stuff and threw them into the fire and out came this golden calf.” This is what's going on in the nations all around them. This is the world they live in, a world in which there are many gods, gods of the different nations. And, so, if drought comes then the gods are not happy. If rain comes then the gods are happy and wherever those things are happening that's where God is blessing them. When war comes, whoever wins, that God is the more powerful God. The strongest God is always the victorious God. So, we can look at all those kinds of practices as strange and bizarre. We don't, most of us, live in cultures that affirm any kind of religious practice like this. Although the fact is that idol worship absolutely still exists in the world today but it's…it's beyond a statue. It's what's going on inside that matters. So, it’s not just building a statue and “you are my God” and, I guess, killing a goat. Idolatry is what's happening inside. Is giving over, surrendering our hearts and our hopes to something - a person, a thing - and we put our hope in that person or thing and then the expectation is that it will give us life, something that we want, that we consider life. So, we could just zone out and just dismiss all of this as, “statue worship, who would do that” until we understand that what we’re talking about is what is going on inside when you give your heart in worship, when you give yourself over to someone or something. All of a sudden idolatry becomes much more near because anything can be an idol. Our possessions can be an idol. The power that we have or don't have can be an idol. People can be idols. Sex can be an idol. Our need for control can be an idol. Our money can be an idol. Like, you name it and we can make an idol out of it. And we do. Like, this something that we've been doing all along through the human story and we’re gonna see that the children of Israel aren't gonna listen to this. Like, they’re just not. Like, they’re going to do exactly what they're being told not to do and we’re gonna get a front row seat. But why is Moses commanding since such stern severity. Like, why is this so serious. It…it's because idolatry, giving our hearts to something false, is going to be cancer inside of us and inside of everyone around us. It will eat us from the inside out. It will make us forget we are and who God, who the source of life actually is. So, when we turn to lesser things in hopes to get life we’re forgetting that there is only one life giver.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit, we invite You into all of that. We certainly feel confident that we’re not worshiping statues and sacrificing rams and lambs and trying to perform acts of devotion to some false God, but we can make false gods out of anything. And, so, we have to confess that idolatry has been a part of our lives and it's very very serious. So, Holy Spirit, we invite You, we open ourselves to You, that You might show us the places that our hope is not in You, that our hope is something else or that we’re getting pulled in some kind of direction, “come, let's go over here, there’s life over here.” Help us to, once again, remain completely aware that there is no life outside of You. You are the giver of life. Life flows from You. There is no other God but You. You are the most-high. There is no other hope. Forgive us for our distractions. Forgive us for the way that we've been seduced we ask in the name of Jesus and we invite Your Holy Spirit to continue the work inside of us today, revealing these areas where we have been deceived or we have been seduced. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the mighty name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

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We’re in the middle of something that's…well…it’s unique in the world, but it's unique in the Daily Audio Bible as well. Since last week we’ve been releasing a chapter a day from the book Sneezing Jesus and what fun we are having with that. When this virus started working its way around the world and disrupting things, I started thinking about this and then I thought about it some more, then I called my publisher, NAV Press, who published this book a couple years ago and just talked to them about, “could we kinda release this in serial fashion, like a chapter a day, the audio addition, a chapter a day.” This is so poignant for right now. Like there’s so much bad news and this is THE good news and it just discusses how the kingdom, how the gospel spread like a virus. And it's so poignant for right now. In a sea of scary things this is the solid rock. So, we’ve been releasing that and we’re just giving it to you. It's just coming every day as an additional episode along with the Daily Audio Bible. And, so, so happy to see these words igniting something, reigniting something. So, today…today's chapter that we’re releasing is called keratoconus, which would…which reveals maybe something I don't really talk about on the Daily Audio Bible but reveals something personal about me. Keratoconus is an eye condition that I’ve had all of my adult life. It's…it's when the…it's when your cornea, which is round it, protrudes in a certain area, becomes coned in a certain area. And then light, you know, your brain is used to interpreting light as it hits a round cornea and since mine are kind of deformed then light…my brain doesn't know how to interpret. Like everything looks like a smear, multiple images all smeared together. And, so I can…there's…there's a correction for it, where very, very rigid contact lenses that kind of vault over the deformed areas and then fill in with tears and then you have kind of the illusion of a round cornea. So, I talk about that in this this chapter. There’s an interesting story in the Gospels where Jesus is healing a blind man and Jesus asked him, “how do you see?” And he’s like, “I see men as trees walking.” And that's always been meaningful to me because if I take my contacts out, I know what that looks like. So, this chapter is just exploring the miracles of Jesus and…and actually more…even more importantly, His posture toward the miraculous. So, that chapter is available today, just right there in your app. And I pray that…I’ve been praying every day that these chapters are offering an alternative perspective, like something else to focus on, something like Jesus and are encouraging the world over. And, so, so happy for the feedback, that that is what is happening.

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And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

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yupuffin · 6 years

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Why You Probably Think Nezumi’s Hair Looks Silly

(and why it’s probably not as bad as you think it is)

In the past I’ve written a few anime analysis posts with varying degrees of seriousness. My last post along these lines was not the most lighthearted read, but fortunately, this time around, I spontaneously got an idea for a less serious topic to write about. I managed to keep up with the anime JUNI TAISEN: ZODIAC WAR right on the tail end of its release, which I believe was crucial to my ultimate enjoyment of this series. What I did not manage to do was predict that Nezumi would end up my favorite character (although I’m certainly not complaining, given, for one, how much inspiration his narrative has given me for analytical posts such as this one).

Like most other viewers, I comfortably got to know Nezumi over the course of the story, but when the episode that focuses on his backstory rolled around, I was not sufficiently prepared for the most dramatic reveal of all!!: his true... hairstyle?

As usual, an obligatory warning for spoilers under the cut.

Let’s face it, the assumption that, under all of that armor, Nezumi is just a plain grey-haired anime boy is completely reasonable based on what we see of him i the first eleven episodes. Sure, we see that the armor on his head is shaped rather oddly, but -- I don’t know about you, but I merely assumed that its sole function was to provide a visual pun in reference to his zodiac animal and ability: the protruding portions are shaped like rodent ears, and match nicely with what I would guess is an ear cover shaped like a computer mouse (haha -- because of Hundred Click, and because he’s a rat). Alas, how very wrong I was, because it turns out, that part is actually --

...A HAIR PROTECTOR?

Okay, back up for a minute. What’s the deal with this?

As it is without the fwooshes (as I affectionately call the longer, flowing, reminiscent-of-rodent-ears portion of Nezumi’s hairstyle), short, solid-colored hair is a pretty typical style for any generic anime character, and based on what we can see when Nezumi is wearing his very stylish armor, we don’t really have any reason to think to ourselves, “Oh yeah, I bet his hair totally fwooshes out under those rat ears,” because we’ve never really seen it before -- or, if we have, characters with simple, short hair like you’d see on a normal person are much, MUCH more common. So, since that’s the basis of information we have to refer to, that’s what we conclude, and we never really give it a second thought until finally, in the very last episode, we see Nezumi in his civilian garb, and his hair, is in fact, very much not normal.

(Granted, there are slight visual indications of the presence of the fwooshes even when Nezumi is wearing his armor, or even the hooded sweatshirt he dons in the ending animation, but since we don’t have the expectation that there’s any ornamentation there to begin with, they are very easy to miss. That’s how the human brain works -- we tend not to notice things that we don’t expect to be there. This is effectively supported by one of my favorite studies of all time, which involves an animal whose close relative also participates in the Juni Taisen.)

Because Nezumi’s hairstyle is highly unusual and blatantly contradicts our expectations, it’s a big surprise when it’s finally revealed. From what I can tell based on the posts that were floating around on Tumblr, as well as other platforms, on the same day that the final episode of JUNI TAISEN was released, the overall response was one of shock. I recall reading the consensus that Nezumi’s hairstyle was thought of as “silly” (heck, I even said out loud to myself as I was watching the episode, in spite of how emotionally attached I was starting to get to him, “that looks stupid!”) and I distinctly remember reading a post that simply told Nezumi to “get a new haircut.” Again, given our previous assumptions and conclusions, this reaction is understandable. For eleven episodes prior, we got used to seeing Nezumi in cool-looking warrior armor, which, despite his meek disposition, makes him look strong and capable in battle on the outside. Hence, the flowing, delicate, arguably more feminine silhouette given by his everyday appearance is incredibly incongruous.

As anyone who has seen KADO: The Right Answer (another of my favorite anime to analyze, so shameless plug here) can certainly argue, properly executed surprises evoke a strong emotional response from the audience, and the artists behind JUNI TAISEN definitely did not design Nezumi thinking that the audience wouldn’t be at least a little bit surprised when they grew intimately familiar with an armor-clad Warrior of the Rat who was then revealed to be a normal schoolboy with strangely fwooshy hair in his everyday life. Hence, the pronounced and highly specific emotional reaction the audience experiences upon this reveal was evoked intentionally. However, the function of this response changes depending on your particular experience of the series.

The anime JUNI TAISEN: ZODIAC WAR is based on a one-shot manga released in January 2015 titled “The One Wish That Must Be Granted, and the Ninety-Nine That Can Be Done Without,” which, as you can probably guess from the shared name, encompasses what is essentially the exact same story retold in the twelfth episode of the JUNI TAISEN anime; hence, JUNI TAISEN functions as a sequel to the original manga, despite taking place beforehand from a chronological standpoint. As a result, the original manga is all about Nezumi; the readers have no previous experience to refer to when first diving in -- not even any background on the function of JUNI TAISEN in its dystopian society, or who any of the other characters are. In this case, Nezumi’s hairstyle does not exactly function as a surprise due to this lack of background. Instead, the added visual interest of Nezumi’s hair fwooshes make him less plain and more interesting to the reader. With normal hair, he would just be another main character anime schoolboy, and, because of his lack of other redeeming or heroic qualities (which makes him such an intriguing character in the narrative of a battle royale), there would not be much about him to make him memorable to the reader. (What he does have going for him is that his plainness and his general ambivalence towards the high school experience makes him particularly relatable to anyone who has also gone through that sort of thing.) Perhaps, in the case of the original manga, Nezumi’s hair was indeed simply an attention-grabbing visual quirk added mostly as a shoutout to his signature animal, the rat.

On the other hand, the JUNI TAISEN anime seems to be written under the assumption that the viewer is not already familiar with the original one-shot manga, hence the surprised reaction to Nezumi’s hairstyle reveal. This response adds some emotional interest and investment to an episode that would otherwise start out in a rather mundane fashion, and probably have the viewer thinking not much other than “Okay, here we go with yet another character introduction. I wonder what he’s going to wish for? Maybe, instead of watching, I’ll space out for the duration of the episode wondering what I would wish for.” This would be in stark contrast to the backstories of some of the other warriors, which tickled our emotions by making us feel for them to varying degrees. However, by instantly giving the audience a new, unexpected cue for a pronounced emotional response, Nezumi’s character design makes the viewers more emotionally vulnerable in preparation for the figurative roller coaster that is the twelfth episode. One of the major factors in my falling in love with Nezumi was the poignant expertise and effectiveness with which the narrative of “The One Wish That Must Be Granted, and the Ninety-Nine That Can Be Done Without” was composed to evoke very particular and measured emotional responses in the audience. We feel our pulses quicken as Nezumi frantically deliberates about which of his ninety-nine wishes would be the best one; our hearts sink when we witness Nezumi cry for the first time, begging that his one desire is to forget his experience of 139-plus horrifically violent deaths; and finally, we feel catharsis when Nezumi shows us his first smile, as though there was nothing more he ever wanted in the world.

Now, if the viewer was spacing out throughout this whole episode, none of this would have anywhere near as much of an emotional impact. Hence, as silly as it might look, the “surprise” factor behind Nezumi’s unusual hairstyle is actually critical for ensuring not only that the viewer is paying attention, but also that their emotions are activated and prepared to be fully invested in the story -- a necessity to experience full satisfaction at its deceptively meaningful conclusion.

And once you’ve recovered from that shock, maybe you’ll be like me and start to think that Nezumi’s hair actually looks kind of pretty.

That’s all I have for today on that subject! I hope you enjoyed reading this much more lighthearted analysis post. If you find this type of writing particularly interesting, feel free to take a look at some of my other anime analysis posts you may like. A few of them are linked in various places throughout this post, but here they all are in chronological order for your convenience:

Why I Love Nezumi (and the ending to JUNI TAISEN in general)

The Meaning of Meaninglessness in JUNI TAISEN: ZODIAC WAR and KADO: The Right Answer

Deus Ex Machina in KADO: The Right Answer, part 1

Deus Ex Machina in KADO: The Right Answer, part 2: Yaha-kui zaShunina as the Tragic Hero

*slaps roof of KADO* this bad boy can fit so much meaningful dialogue in it

JUNI TAISEN: ZODIAC WAR: Remember to Die

You can also find all of these by browsing through the “anime analysis” tag on my blog.

Additionally, my ask box is always open if you have any questions, want me to clarify something, have an idea about anything else you want me to write about, or if you just want to give me an excuse to gush about Nezumi for a little while!

#juni taisen #juuni taisen #juni taisen zodiac war #anime analysis #i don't think anybody reads these but i hope someone finds them and enjoys them as much as i enjoy writing them someday #because i'm going to keep writing these probably forever #no matter what i write about these always come out to about 1750 words each #the function of a tragic hero? 1750 words. nezumi's hair? 1750 words #i guess that's just the rhythm that works naturally for me

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