#but i think im so lonely idk if I'll be able to know the difference between platonic and romantic feelings

[my-beloved-lakes]

I see a lot of people I knew from school posting pictures on their social medias with all their friends doing various fun things together. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at home wishing I could take a group photo with all my Tumblr mutuals to post so I can brag about having the best friends.

[evilfrogcereal29]

Mmmm so high, don't smoke kids the bong tells you awful things....

Can't stop tginking about aware!cod character aus. Where cod is just a video game and ur just a super fan, but for some reason in ur copy of the game, all (or only some you can decide) of them are aware, and like, deeply begging for you to pick them. They crave your attention.

Bonus points if it becomes a yandere/obsessed situation (i guess the term yandere has become outdated and offensive but im not sure? Idk i had someone ask me not to use it once cause they said it has bad orgins....but i still see stuff labeled 'yandere![character here]' stories everywhere, so idk if its still appropriate to use but idk any other way to put it except obessed but i think that still doesnt get the point across well... I'm weed rambling, someone lmk if its still ok to use yandere... If not mb, I'll use a different term, back to sin)

They start making their way out of the game into your entire pc/console. Waking up to find your screen turned on, with cod loaded up, despite you definitely being sure that you 1- turned the tv off, and 2- didn't even play cod today.

Oooohhh god the days you don't play cod are HELL for them. Please please please play everyday :( they get so lonely without you. Its so cold and lonely inside here. Please (y/n).

But since cod is kinda... Shit... Nowadays... Just being a bit honest its gotten cash-grabby....you play less and less, and they know its not their fault, but it makes them ache. They need to get out of here. Before you forget about them forever. PLEASE. don't forget about them. If they get into your phone somehow (you had your phone charger plugged into the same outlet your pc/console was plugged into, they just took a short jump and hop across into your device :] no biggie) it makes them so happy when they see you liking posts about them on Tumblr ^\\^!!!! Especially when the posts are... Rather naughty...

Always listening in on your, watching you from your pc webcam or phone camera.

Imagine if they leave the game their model dissapears too... So the dissapointment you might feel if you load uo the game again, and think your game is glitched when, seemingly no matter how many times you relaunch, uninstall and reinstall, and reset the game entirely, the character(s) won't show up :(( what the fuck man?

If you buy another copy there won't be any issues actually :) these ones arent alive!! Although... I can't promise your safety much longer, as doing this is a surefire way to piss the hell out of whatever character is on you, probably spending most of their time at this point in your phone, or if you have an apple or techy watch, that, since its close to your skin and they love that! But playing with an unaware version of them is so... Jealously inducing. You were dumbfounded when your entire screen turned off, and every light around you started flickering wildly... What is going on? Maybe you shouls call an electrician? (He won't be able to remove them, nothing will)

They'll find a way out one day♥️ its just a matter of time sweetheart, or maybe they'll pull you into their world, being digital ain't so bad darling... let them show you... Get closer to the screen.

It does not help my bf got me a bundle with nikto, his normal skin, AND his powercell skin... So im brainrotmaxxing currently.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk☺️ love u guys /p (you may think the /p stands for platonic but NO, its standing for Passing out...goodnite)

[xuanelle]

kageyama + 2, 13, and 18 and majima + 2, 6, and 17

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

okay i already answer one favourite canon thing but another thing i love about kageyama i think is just how much he loves volleyball and how much he just doesnt care about anything else. its cute to me just seeing how passionate he is and then when he has to study for school he's just like "but why must i do this." its so cute! he gets to just be a silly kid who does poorly at school and like i love that about him :) i like how you expect him to be smart but he really isn't and he's just as silly as some of the more obviously silly guys like tanaka or noya

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

well if i said a crow that would be so obvious because of the crow symbolism of karasuno. and same with like the crown emoji. but BOTH do remind me of him. like he's so tied with that king symbolism and trying to move past it and he does move past it that it's just so hard to not assiocate that type of symboling with him

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

aaa this is so hard because i love ALL his relationships. obviously him and hinata are everything to me and i have talked a lot about them but i think the one i specifically admire might just be his dynamic with suga. i love him and hinata but the admire gotta go with them. suga who despite being odler then him knows kageyama is better skill wise. but he teaches kageyama a lot about being a teammate, about trusting the team. and kageyama is jelaous about that but they both form such a sweet friendship where suga helps kageyama become someone better and kageyama is grateful for it.

like this from chapter ten, suga sees so much in how kageyama has grown and kageyama isn't sure what to feel there because he's not used to it but suga is just proud of him even when he could so easily be jelaous because he's only a first year setter and better.

during the match against blue castle when kageyama is benched, suga tells him kageyama keeps him balanced and reminds him he has a whole team with him and that he doesn't need to do it alone and it truly gets through to kageyama! later when he rejects the lonely king title, the tyrant title, it's because of what suga said, knowing he has a team of great players there for him and its so sweet <3

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

loyality !! he's a mad dog sure but he's also a loyal dog. he gave up so much of his life waiting for saejima to return, he spent 25 years carving a place for him unsure of how his sworn brother would react to him when he comes back. he always is there to help the tojo clan and the kiryu. he sticks by daigo's side when he needs someone to help him with the tojo (an action that even does get him jailed in four but he never gives up on daigo, still supporting him in the next game and forward) his loyality is the core of who he is and i love it about him

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

ohh thats hard because majima is so different then me in many ways but i suppose one thing is i like to think im loyal? i like to think i'll always try and be there for friends and people i care abt. now i dont think it would ever be to being able to endure torture but thats an extreme that'll never happen to me but just the base concept of loyality is something i like to think i share :)

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

honestlyyy nihsitani. i get it because of everything going on 0 but it's a ship i see content with for and i just, idk, i don't really ship it? i get it though but to me he's always just going to be the guy who inspired such change and freedom in majima rather then an actual ship for myself.

[gaypleasantview]

life rant below:

everything feels so messy, i haven't been able to go to the doctor because of my social anxiety but i think something may be deeply wrong with my body bc i have symptoms of what could be a bad chronic illness?? i hope i can make an appointment this week bc im putting it off and its just devastating me. ive realized the only moments i can be brave despite my horrible anxiety are when i think of my life as something bizarre. like, my life is a joke, kinda. it makes no sense. i had no plans for adulthood but never in my life have i ever planned to seek refuge in a different country, that's for sure. and we're so lonely here, we have no one to hang with in our city, im not a big person for meeting irl but there was always someone, i had friends in uni, even in school, i had flatmates back home, now i only see friends once every few months and most of them i havent seen for so long at all. its been a year like this and i had no idea it would be so damaging to me and my perception of reality, i feel like im in a constant state of dissociation kinda because how could you accept this new reality? i still think somewhere in me that this is all a dream i'll wake up from one day and yeah, i may be gravely afraid of talking to the post office lady or whatever, but how hard can it be when perhaps the worst thing that could happen in anyone's life's basically already happened? i just hope the doctor won't gaslight me again, last time he told me my headaches are due to the post-war stress but my man the day before it happened i sat at my shitty job (want it to go bankrupt lol fucking bigots) and i felt soo fucking bad? i hope i at least get prescribed glasses or whatever. i dont know. and its funny because life is way better now than it was before anyway bc im less fucking poor but it still sucks ass im so tired and i need a therapist which also idk where to find them so as im searching for the possibilities im just venting here for some relief. yeah thats somewhat new. i miss home

[patchesproblem]

do you have any spare hcs abt karl or joyce 😭 im starved

YES I DO ACTUALLY!!! I think about those two sm like you don't even understand. I really need to talk about them more, tbh.

I have A Lot to say, so sorry in advance for my nonsensical ramblings.

Actual answer under the cut

OKAY SO!! Starting with our favorite pathetic bean sprout.

I'll separate the au hc's and actual main universe hcs just to keep everything semi understandable. It'll have HC's for relationships with Karl, Planck, Einslas, etc. Also including Elysia and Joffrey because siblings can't be separated <3

AU headcanons:

Joyce is smarter than he gives himself credit for. I'm being serious when I say this. It doesn't express itself as obviously as the Einslas, but that's only because his strengths are in other areas. While the Einslas are extremely smart when it comes to STEM, I feel as if Joyce's strong suit is more in creativity. It's hard to exaplain, but think writing / reading and all that. He enjoys learning new information about things he likes (examples include astrology, writing, etc.) and he will often be able to remember details that others normally wouldn't.

He probably spent a lot of his childhood reading stories, and was probably ahead of his grades reading level. He didn't really have many friends because he has social issues, despite the fact a lot of people did actually like him. He just knew a lot of people, but he wasn't really able to form any close friendships until his insane scientist bestie came along. Though that was partially because he just was awkward and didn't know how to talk to others. Was worried he'd come off as weird or get bullied for his interests.

Tesla probably comes to him sometimes to ask for help with her own writing, actually. Although he doesn't write much himself, he's somehow one of the best people to ask for advice LMAO. They probably bonded over their shared passions, even if they are technically different. (Different in the sense of she's into writing, and he's into reading. They go together hand in hand. Idk I just feel like it's a cute little thing. Besties and siblings <33) He also probably proof reads her stuff occasionally when Einsteins too busy to, though he might've had a few objects thrown at him at some points. He also gives her advice / ideas.

Has a fear of people leaving him bc his parents just kinda. Disappeared leaving him with Karl and Emma as his care takers, and Elyisa eventually left soon after because she got married to Eden and all that. Then when Einstein left with Planck it just kinda destroyed him. He's not upset with them, he's actually really happy for them. Though it gets lonely and he's afraid that he'll get replaced (haha Joachim haha. Sorry.)

Probably really close with Joffrey tbh. Does anything in his power to make sure his little brother has a good childhood. He reads to him A Lot, and actively engages in his ideas. For example: if he has an idea to make something Joyce will help him make it. He also encourages him to pursue his own interests even if it's a one off thing. He'll often draw / write with him too. He's very proud of him

Karl is basically his dad at this point. He doesn't treat him as his nephew, but instead he treats him as if he was his own son in a sense. He's extremely proud of him and that someday he'll make a positive impact on the world. Joyce looks up to him heavily, and wants to follow in his foot steps once he gets older.

When Ein originally came he was terrified of her LMAO. She was an absolute menace as a child and lived up to Karl calling her a brat. He was relentlessly teased and messed with by this tiny goblin who could turn on the water works at any second if she felt like it. She still actually is the reason he's called Welt. Though it's because he's the clumsiest mf in the world, so dual meaning there.

She's actually one of his first actual friends, and partially responsible for his love of space. How they became friends is blurry just because it's more of a "she won't be leaving I need to learn to survive" but despite being eccentric, he eventually came to see her as his bestie / sister. Though he's still absolutely terrified of her. He still has zero clue what goes on in her head and that's terrifying to him.

He's absolutely terrified of Tesla too. Both his besties scare him half to death and he's convinced one of these days they're going to be the reason he gets killed, but that won't happen surely. They're at each others throats constantly, and would probably be those two people threatening to kill the other in a waffle house at two in the morning. They want to throw each other through a wall, but also trust each other with their lives. The only man Tesla remotely tolerates along with Karl. They have sibling energy and you can pry it out of my cold dead hands.

Him and Elysia also probably used to be really close. She cares about him deeply, and would drop anything at a moments notice to help him if he needed it. Though she also does tease him often, as a big sister should. Eden acts as a parental figure towards him as well. They both met when he was young, and he grew up with her around a lot so he just started looking up to her tbh.

He originally goes to Lab 42 to become Einslas assistant while he went to university there, and would help them with stuff similar to how he helped out in canon. Though Tesla basically said "Fuck you, we're your superiors now so you'll refer to us as Dr. Tesla and Dr. Einstein now!" and that's how he started calling Einstein Ein lmao. Tes wasn't amused.

They also drag his ass to Alaska. He never wanted to go on work related trips with them after that.

He's terrified of Planck. That's all. He's terrified. Her constant midlife crisis scares him.

Okay so for non AU headcannons:

Tes and Ein 100% got together in private and planned how to torment him. Just Trust Me on this. They were feeling a little bit silly and goofy and just coordinated together on how to torment him next.

Him and Tes' relationship is a little bit different in the main universe, for obvious reasons. Though they stay besties and have sibling energy. Neither of them trusted each other at first. Tes didn't trust Joyce because 1. He's a man 2. He's a man 3. He's a man and 4. She was scared he'd hurt Ein (was also just jealous and scared she'd pay less attention to her but yanno), and Joyce didn't trust Tesla because she's an angry redhead who would probably kill a man if given the chance. Didn't help that she threatened his life and threatened to castrate him within the first minute of meeting him, but yanno it be like that sometimes.

Over time Tes begrudgingly accepted that he wasn't going anywhere for awhile and that she should probably get used to it. While Eins was out they probably were forced to bond, and eventually Tesla realized that maybe he wasn't as bad as she originally thought and slowly began to trust him. Honestly they were best friends by the time he just decided to die like a pathetic person on them. He'd stay up to make sure she got home okay and alive, and he eventually just became her rambling buddy. AKA Einstein was asleep and she just went on long nonsensical ramblings to Joyce while he just went "uh huh.. interesting.. they did what now?"

Probably admitted some embarrassing things to him in all honesty. Though he'd never be able to tell anyone that considering she herself didn't even remember telling him half the stuff she did, and even if she did she'd actually kill him if he said anything about it. Not like he really wanted to, anyways. Was just happy she was willing to talk to him and didn't completely hate him tbh. Was also happy that he could be there for her considering his whole depression thing and knowing how horrible it was to not have someone there for you.

Though she also always cared and worried about him. Her and Ein had read his 'profile' beforehand, and Tesla immediately was scared and concerned when she realized he quite literally was diagnosed with severe depression. Though she'd never admit that and would prefer to pretend she just found him annoying and pathetic LMAO. At least before his death, after his death is a different story. (AKA she finally admitted years later she cared about him to Einstein and still missed having his dumbass around and constantly had to be held back from nuking Otto off the face of the earth.)

Another note I forgot to add that I'm adding after the fact: He was actually amazed by Tesla's knowledge. Like he knew she was smart, but the extent of it surprised him tbh. Especially after hearing how she didn't even have her degree.

With Ein it's pretty much the same, though she's legitimately just an absolute menace to everyone around her. She intentionally dialed it to ten just to make sure that he was terrified of her and never knew what she was going to do next. She did it just for the funsies tbh. Things were going slow in the lab and as much fun as it is to tease Tesla, it was funny to be able to just bully some random man who had no clue what was happening at any given second. Plus added bonus points for being able to still tease Tesla but making it 100% worse because someone else is around and Tes just gets embarrassed and loses it.

VN is basically two lesbians harass and bully some poor traumatized man for an entire month.

That aside, I feel like him and Joachim got along really well. I like to believe that he took him out sometimes to watch him while Einslas were working, and that Joachim constantly asked the Finn to go see the three. While the Einslas taught him to gaslight gatekeep and girlboss, Joyce taught him actual life lessons and tried to negate the 'damage' the Einslas had done. AKA try to make him stop being even worse than them.

He cared A Lot about Joachim, and probably saw him as his little brother honestly. I feel like they spent a lot of time together, even if it often resulted in Joyce being bullied constantly by three people instead of just two. The explosions also didn't amuse him because he's lame and a coward.

He's terrified of Planck. That's all. He's Terrified.

After his death he intentionally hid from Tesla Einstein and Joachim. He didn't want them to find him, and try to bring him back. He felt like he'd disappointed them all and he felt guilty over what happened, and he was scared they hated him and despised him over what happened. He only shows up for Bronya because he knew that she'd be his successor, and even at that he refused to talk because he didn't want to disappoint her too. Didn't want her getting too attached to him, mainly because he's too scared to hurt yet another person.

Had to end it off depressingly, sorry </3 I'm sure you understand.

Was going to do non AU and AU versions for Karl too but like... He wasn't alive near long enough to even have hcs for the main universe. I've just hit him with the dad beam honestly.

Anyways AU Karl hcs <33

He's a dad. Literally just a dad. Will adopt any insane scientist within a 1000 mile radius.

He met Ein similarly to how he does in canon, and managed to convince her parents to let him and Planck allow her to continue her studies at a college level. Ever since then he's basically become her dad, and that's how she views him. Has accidentally called him dad before.

For a majority of the time he was one of Eins main mentors, though as time went on and he became more busy, Planck began to become her teacher.

He's awkward, and is kinda oblivious. Very Oblivious. He tends to not over think peoples words, and doesn't even think that there's a second meaning in most circumstances.

For the most part he's extremely dedicated to his work, and has issues with accidentally over working himself. All he wants to do is help others, even if it causes himself issues. He's often extremely busy and running about.

Though he also is extremely dedicated to his family and cares about them more than anything. If ANY of them needed anything, including Tesla, he'd drop whatever he was doing to make sure that his family is okay. He loves them all.

I'll have to add more later, but a lot of my thoughts have simply disappeared. I'll dm you on discord when I put more for Karl LMAO.

[roboromantic]

5 6 7 am thoughts

why do I keep seeing posts on this website insist that evangelicals try to convert prople just to have a larger "number of souls savef" count than others. like maybe that's a thing in some groups but like................I've never heard of any kind of reward for converting more people or anything.

also I gotta say it's a tad frustrating seeing people talk about how Mormonism is a cult and these kids are brainwashed into believing the world's against them etc. and being sympathetic and sharing resources on how to leave, but posts on evangelicals just paint them as cartoonishly evil. sometimes I'll see something that says it's a cult but there's never anything on how to leave (though admitedly it's gonna generally be less legally complicated than it is for mormons) or talk about how evangelicals are also made to believe that the world is against them or how evangelicals try to convert you because they truely believe it would save you from eternal torture.

like now that I'm out I see how infuriating it is to be proselytized to, but growing up in it? I was a super lonely kid who tried to make people more christian according to CoC values bc I was terrified of losing the few friends I had. also there was literal animal abuse involved where we were told we were bad people if we were more likely to rush to help the goldfish they fucking threw on the pavement than to try and save people from hell

like. when you're fundamentalist there's really no room to respect other people's beliefs, because respecting their beliefs (and boundaries) would mean condemning them to eternal torture

so again I get why people hate it and I definitely understand now how it's used to eradicate cultures etc. but I find it hard to hate the individual who from their perspective is just trying to help me

ironically though the insistence on isolating me and saying that anyone who isn't CoC was probably one of the biggest reasons I ended up leaving. how could heaven be this perfect place if my friends weren't there

there was this post in r/judaism linking to an article talking abt svara's upcoming teshuvot for lgbt halacha and it's something I've been keeping an eye on for a while for obvious reasons, but while I don't want to make any judgements until the whole thing is actually released, I will say from the phrasing in the article it sounds like they're approaching it from a different angle than I would. like it seems to be "how can I affirm my gender in a Jewish way" and while I can 100000% understand that, I'm more interested in "what are the issues that arise when someone is (in my case) halachically female but looks male and is it possible to resolve these issues in a way that's respectful to everyone and if so, how?"

like. there was another post by a trans man wanting to figure out how to respectfully interact w/Chabad and someone else (I think) brought up this same idea of one's halachic gender vs I think they called it sociological gender and it was kinda weird to me seeing so many people talk about how that's not a thing, can never be a thing, halachic gender is the only important factor, etc. bc like. I highly doubt anyone would say my halachic gender is all that matters if my bearded, flat-chested, (sorta) deep-voiced ass went to sit on the women's side of a mechitza. hell, I KNOW that'd cause a problem, I've seen it happen.

like personally I'd be fine with a trichitza, I ain't trying to sit with men (though again I can understand why being able to sit with one's gender can be affirming for binary cis people) and I don't particularly want to sit with women either even if marit ayin wasn't an issue.

where was i going with this. idk it's like 2 hours after i started writing this and im tired and still don't have adhd meds, this was never gonna be coherent im gonna try to go back to sleep

[toestalucia]

(person with oarlyegrande obsession) idk if ill end up talking about all the white day lines i noted for myself but i DO wanna talk about alliahs

Alliah: I suppose I'll keep working at it. Perhaps we'll be able to open a patisserie together one day. That was a joke, of course. The patisserie part, not the working at it part.

Alliah: What? You've been practicing too? To open our patisserie? I told you that was a joke. We can't just— Wait, I see… You're talking about once we grow old, aren't you? We'll have to step down at some point after all. After we leave everything to our successors and retire, we open a little patisserie together… Not a bad idea. But to think that you were planning that far ahead… I'll have to step up my game.

because these are sooooooo cute LOL i am not a alliah/captain person, and while gran doesnt have anything against her, the entire thing was way too political & way too forced + uh. they dont want the king role anyway, give it alliahs mom instead, they were fine forcibly accepting it & the kings eye due to all the circumstances around it but longterm...no way...............get them out of there (theres a topic in grans personal conflicted feelings against istavion & how true king led it, regardless of his reasons. since those reasons directly fkd up grans family like.....LOL dad mightve made sure gran wouldnt set out with revenge in their heart but theyre not about to be besties with tau'luk or anything

i do think gran pulling the wife-card whenever they want to get out of anything would be funny tho. sorry im engaged i have to leave. the white day login story where they asked about ppls ideal proposals but its gran going ya u meet her father and he says hand in marriage right now and u cant say no

BUT i do think its cute to see them talk about settling down etc LOL like to me personally thats a huuuuge thing for gran to consider, like i dont take ones like these superseriously, and if i do its more in a '(gran voice) haha wouldnt it be funny if-' because they DO like alliah, just not enough to make a political marriage work. even less so when its istavion. alliah and pholia u r great but if they get too involved with istavion like that they dont think they can face their own father confidently. not that i think dad'd hate it (baragona and walfrid are both luminary knights now which is SO funny)

i dont know i just think the lil part of retiring........opening a little shop........its cute........i think its rlyyyyyyyy cute......... + with how alliah talks about her dad & how her wind fate eps goes i T_T just very much like it when she talks about things like this casually. dual alliah pholia unit NOW

Alliah: (When I was in that man's room to clean it in preparation for (Captain)'s arrival... I felt lonely. And if I felt that way, about even a parent I hardly shared an emotional bond with... The thought of seeing (Captain) return to find no one left—no one but a political marriage partner—is too much to even bear. So... is this for my own sake, or that of others? Good luck detangling that one, me.)

LIKE THIS LINEEEE ALLIAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 'what reason have i to get so involved' buddy thats the person who didnt hesitate to jump off an island to save you, even at the cost of themself falling down the sky instead. i think theres something to unpack in there

i almost talked about cains fate eps again but u should read grand cain's intro fate its on repeat in my mind at all times. like. ? cain who stopped at the last second............'if only i had taken one more step'........my dude. (is obsessed with it cuz in his sr he's the one whos reckless and captains the one who runs after to protect him)

anyway i rly like wind alliahs fate eps actually. i like her laughing. i like the difference in how she was used to things with her dad vs how things are when captain&co are in that room.

Alliah: (The one who, with nothing to gain, risked everything to save my life... And—though it not be by choice, and in name only—joined my family... Despite it all, is here treating me like family, as naturally as the sun. And as my blood relatives have each disappeared, one after the other... So that's why. It's because this made me happy. Even if we are bound by not blood nor vows, I still want to be there for (Captain). If not as spouse, as partner; as family.)

;-; (rmbrd this is at a time when pholia is travelling on her own, tau'luk resigned the throne to captain, and she doesnt even rmbr her mom thanks to the otherworld....

like both her and the attendant laughing when captain lyria vyrn io goes 'seconds plssssss' makes me ssoooooooo happyyyyyyYYYY. the casualness in the crew.....the bonds.........the family.........i think its so lovely

[shyrose57]

2nd part than.

8: (This ones longgggg) Their rooms all have the same beige (like brown mushroom color) walls and floors. As their not allowed to change that. But Watson has some bookshelves in his room along with a old adventurer cape that goes in front of his body and hangs to his ankles (Item-Ya Adventurer Cape is a perfect example. Idk the actual name for the kind of cape it is), some display cases featuring his strongest bows and arrows, along with a sword and axe, along with pictures of the group toghere and pictures from his travels on the walls, he has a single lone desk that is only used when designing new bows or arrows. Ran also has bookshelves, but his is bigger and takes up a whole wall, he also as a winter cape with fur on its shoulders hung up (he lived in a snow biome for a little while and made the cape himself), along with a single weapon case that features a lone damaged neitherite sword, he also has chests stacked along a wall filled with random stuff that he sometimes gives as gifts or uses to throw at people. Jackie has a few paintings and posters in his room, along with the only carpet in any bedroom (that he totally didnt steal from Grievous), a panting easel, he has a single display case in his room that displays the sword Porkius gave him for winning, theres also pictures of the group toghere and a small chest next to his bed filled with things that belongs to someone in the group. Grievous has a small bookshelf (one book is a naming book Watson jokingly gave him), a chest filled to the brim with blankets and pillows (cause for him comfort is a necessity), he also has a desk that he tends to fall asleep at when doing literally anything on it. Everyone also has a good sized wardrobe somewhere in their room that is filled with different outfits and w statue stands with either iron armour or empty. There is also a four-way-bunkbed in the living room/area, they typically use it when someone is having or had a very bad day and needs comfort, or when Jackie's separation anxiety is bad and needs to sleep with everyone nearby. 

Ran loves reading and sometimes gets mad when someone intrupts his reading. Watson loves designing new bows and arrows and just designing weapons in general (Grievous does too and helps him sometimes). Jackie likes to paint and has a interest in adventuring one day. They are well known but only in Subbin and surrounding cities. Though word does travel about them at times which can bring people to Subbin. They have 2 titles actually! First is used in typical matches, while the second is used in more formal or serious matches (like those for general). Ran: The Enderman, Partikel Tari (Dancing Particles, referencing how when he fights when serious its like he's dancing as he teleports around the field). Watson: The Archer, Multi (Referencing how he has more experience than anyone in the use of all kinds of weapons and can quickly adjust to situations). Grievous: Multi-Named, Unpredictable (referring to how he is by far the most unpredictable person in serious battles). Jackie: The Child, Diremehake (Underestimated, referring to how he gets underestimated a lot during any battle). They get recognized quite often and get called their stage names, when they dont want to deal with people recognizing them they often either yell at them to go away or just run away. 

9: They do all of the above! It depends on the match up (Jackie and Watson stay out of eachothers way mostly, Ran and Grievous make it one on one, and Ran and Jackie take them out quick). Oh the first time Ran threw Jackie was hailours. You could hear Watson screaming from the stands in fear and Jackie just head-butted the guy in the stomach. Then when Jackie recovered he just yelled for Ran to throw him again, and once again you could hear Watson screaming no and threats at them from the stands. Ran agreed and threw Jackie at the last person, who he just bear hugged as he hit and held them down. Then after the battle Watson smacked the two and chastised them.

10: At first he drops stuff and trips over his feet on a regular basis. But after about 3 weeks he fully regains his balance, and is able to finally walk without tripping at the start. While the attempts at bonding do work to get Ranbob and Cletus closer the two never get as close as the rest. Neither can really name what's stopping them from getting closer though. For the first week people need to constantly remind Ranbob to do all of those things. As he thinks the constant hunger, thirst, and tiredness is all normal when its not and their trying to get him to understand that. And while he eventually starts to do it himself, theres still some nights where he doesnt eat or drink or sleep. They just leave the two in the house, but later they do start to expand the house a bit to fit the new addition. He does not get his own place up, he just gives up after some time. He doesn't fall asleep out there to often thankfully, but since the house keeps falling on him he does get cuts and bruises quite often. He gets stuck in a rain storm only 2 times which isn't bad, but he does get semi-bad burns from them sadly that Benjamin has to sit him down for and have Charles distract him for long enough to wrap his wounds properly. And it only took Benjamin like 4 weeks before he finally got fed up and forced him inside and had him stay with them. He has dealt with a storm before when he was young! But it was when he was about 12 so its been a long while. 

11: He spends all of his free time glaring at them. And for the first few days whenever he sees someone from his group hanging around his brothers, he'll go over and pick em up and just carry them away. The fishermen worry for a bit that Ran may hurt them, but Watson assured them that Ran knows the two groups like eachother and wouldn't hurt them incase that could hurt his families feelings. 

12: Ranbob is extremely happy about potentially getting new members of his family! And eagerly tries to talk with them. But Ran is far less happy and actively avoids them (and drags his family away at times).

13: At the start they have no idea where their going. But when Grievous brings up about Rans damaged sword they decide to find a nether portal so they can find whats needed to repair his sword! And Watson decides on the way he can show them all the different biomes in the world, which Jackie is extremely excited for. 

14: If the fishermen get separated from Ranbob for too long he actively goes and searches for them. And refuses to stop until he finds them. When upset Ran loves to pick up members of his Haunting, though he doesnt do them often as he knows his Haunting doesn't like it when he does it to often. He and Ranbob also pick up blocks though as it's a comfort action and soothes them. Cuddles piles do happen! They happen more for Ranbob to comfort him after a nightmare or just a bad day, or when he basically relapses and wants to go back to Dream. But cuddle piles are more rare in Rans group, as cuddle piles only happen when anyone is doing really badly mentally or physically and just need comfort, or when they all just need some comfort. But their much more sentimental and have more meaning than Ranbobs groups. 

15: Oh definitely. I forget if I included it when I first introduced my Au. But soon after Ran escaped Mizu, he was hunted for his pearl and respawn ability. Though he killed the people hunting him. Every year he was out of Mizu and every year before he entered Subbin he was hunted by multiple groups. He's become legend just for avoiding so many groups and killing a vast majority of them. He's known as the "Green Eyed Enderman." and is a top goal amongst hunters. There are some times Ran got jumped in Subbin for being a hybrid but he quickly defeated them. 

Karl has played his role in this! Though maybe I could make it so he comes in later on during a really difficult part between the  brothers, and helps out. Using his own experiences in the SMP and seeing what ruined relationships like brothers does to someone and others, to make sure their relationship doesn't stay so broken and hurt so many people. Maybe at the end I'll have them go back and face Dream so Ranbob (and even Ran slightly, with how Dreams presence affected him) can finally be completely free. As of rn no one has a pet. But that question made me really want to give someone a raven and idk who. I want to have bits of the other Tales in it! Im not quite sure how yet but I want this to be a mostly Tales ONLY au (no main SMP stuff unless needed or necessary) as the Tales don't have enough love. He does write down the experience he had with the Dream Experience and writes down very important things, but other than that he leaves it behind. 

Im really happy to hear that you like my au. I love world and story building a lot and can't control how much I write sometimes, again im sorry this is so long and I'll do my best to not make anything this long ever again. Sorry if this bothered you

8: Sounds pretty interesting, overall. Was Watson-as his cape suggest-perhaps an adventurer? And he designs his own bows and arrows? Very cool. What kind of things does he come up with?  Ran also sounds like he’s traveled a bit. He knows how to sew? Has he ever made anything for anyone else? Where did he get his sword? Jackie’s got a carpet? Very nice, he deserves it. And a painting easel? How good is he at painting? Or is it more of something he’s just trying? Grievous sounds like he could build a very good pillow fort, and honestly, good for him. How often do they camp out in the bunk bed room? 

Ran not liking being interrupted is understandable. Does he ever read to anyone, or is it more some alone time for him? Grievous and Watson must design some terrifying weapons. Where is Jackie looking at adventuring to? Anywhere specific, or just around? And what language(s) is Ran and Jackie’s secondary titles in? Latin? 

9: Very smart of them, means it’ll be harder to pick up a pattern. And hearing about Ran tossing Jackie-I’m laughing. I’m not going to lie, kind of assumed it was planned pre-match, but hearing that they just decided to throw him? Watson’s reaction? Just...hilarious. Was Jackie even prepared for it, or did Ran just toss them without warning? Honestly, it kind of sounds like people might come to the Pit for the comedy just as much for the fighting. If this was the kind of thing that went down, I’d probably come to watch.

10: Oh no, Ranbob! At least he’s getting better. So Cletus and Ranbob never quite click, huh? Well, that’s alright. Sometimes people just don’t. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about each other! Ranbob thinking it’s normal, oh god. Does he ever say something along those lines, or get confused why the others are so worried about it? If so, how do the fishermen react to that question, and how does Ranbob react to the answer. As for the house, well. He can say he tried if nothing else-and hey, funny story to share with the gladiators later on. It’s good that he wasn’t caught in too many storms, less that he was caught in some at all. I’m sure that was a big help in convincing Benjamin to finally just put his foot down, which, honestly good for him. You go, Benjamin!

11: Ran, bud, chill. I like how you said his free time though-my first thought was that he immediately finished a book and went over to glare at them. Probably not true, but a hilarious mental image. Very glad Watson has reassured the fishermen-how did Ranbob react to that worry of theirs?

12: Ran’s actions are pretty understandable, but still a bit sad. How does Ranbob feel about them? Is he resigned? Determined? Upset?

13: Adventure! Into possibly dangerous places! How fun! Can’t wait to see where it goes. What do they see? What’s the first stop? How long are they heading off?

14: He won’t stop? Like, potentially will work himself into the ground won’t stop? Ran just picks up his members like blocks. And, oh boy. Ranbob wanting to go back to Dream? That’s just. Oof. Very much oof. How do the fishermen deal with that, and how do they feel about it?

15: Ran sounds like he’s had a less than enjoyable time out there. Do these hunters ever go after them once they leave Subbin? Do they target Ranbob? I mean, he’s another Endermen hybrid, and one who definitely isn’t as skilled as Ran, or as used to them. He’d be a much easier target.

So Karl’s gonna come in towards the end. Nice. Ran was also affected by Dream? How so? Obviously less than his brother, but did he ever notice? Did Ranbob? Sounds like it’d be a good final showdown, over all.

As for that pet raven, may I offer some suggestions? You could give one to Jackie and Grievous, so it can help them cause havoc, or maybe one to Benjamin, so it can help him keep an eye on his dorks. Maybe even Cletus, to help snag things, and mess with people, or Isaac, maybe to help find things. Even Watson, or one of the brothers, to help keep watch over their groups. Really, you could give any of these guys a raven. Depending on said bird’s personality, it could fit anywhere. Just depends on what you want to do with it.

I completely agree with you, we need more Tales AUs. Ranbob and Ran did come from what was basically a city of historians, perhaps you could use that to tie in the other Tales? Or even have them across the old ruins of areas on their adventure. Even chunk in more time travel, via Karl or otherwise, if you want to toss in more characters.

Ranbob pretty much starts over then. Good for him. How does Ran feel about that? Actually, who was Ran’s idol, and his general life on Mizu, before the Dream incident?

Other questions:

One thing I’d like to know is how the groups react to each other’s experiences and general life styles. Like for one, Ranbob and the fishermen generally seem more physically affectionate with each other, while Ran and the gladiators seem fairly less so, but no less close. 

For another, the fishermen probably still remind Ranbob to eat or sleep, which would probably seem a bit confusing for the gladiators. How much do they know about both sides? Obviously enough for them to want to help get the brothers back together, but like.

How much do the gladiators believe Ranbob’s side. Are they wary, or skeptical, or do they believe it completely, and if so, why? 

How long was Ran left running, evading hunters, and how has that affected him? How many times do both brothers say something concerning, and how do they react to what the other says?

You’ve said Ranbob occasionally relapses and wants to return to Dream. Does this happen on the trip? And if so, how do the gladiators react to such a thing-depending on how much they know about the whole thing, I can imagine mixed reactions. How does Ran react?

How do both groups react to the new endermen hybrids? They seem to have dealt with different instincts before now, so seeing Ranbob trail the fishermen and Ran just pick up the gladiators must be a bit strange. 

What can Ranbob keep down? Not only was Dream in control, and not particularly careful with his body, but supplies were probably also somewhat limited when he did eat. So how has that affected him? 

Are there any nicknames within in the groups? How do the gladiators react to the schedule change, considering they had set times for so much before? How do the fishermen react to the new areas? What habits are/become shared, and what habits are restricted to one group.

In general, just...how the fishermen and the gladiators differ in lifestyles, basically. 

For another, in one of the earlier post, you mentioned both Isaac and Cletus wanted to return to Mizu. Isaac kind of gives me a historian vibe himself, or some sort of archaeologists. Just a kind of person who wants to learn about history-perhaps something to do with the fact that he was played by Karl, and the whole time traveler thing. 

But anyway, what exactly did those two want to do down there? Explore, learn, steal?

And how would you say everyone’s personalities are like? Will you be introducing anymore characters, Tales or otherwise. It’d be interesting to see a Pit version of Tommy, or Puffy, or such.

How does Ran react when he finally accepts the truth, and what exactly pushes him to that? 

Hope this isn’t too many questions. I’m pretty invested, not gonna lie.

And seriously, I don’t mind the length. Long or short, I’m really just happy to hear more about your AU, and I look forward to more.

[fairycosmos]

3/ like im talking to someone haha. Please dont respond if i made u feel idk uncomfortable or if u just dont feel like it! I always come see your blog and honestly you are my favorite person, you just feel safe and kind and like and actual angel kfhwkf ok i'll stop ilu bye 💞

hey love. i can relate to a LOT of what you said. im obviously not a doctor at all, but so much of what you described sounds like you're suffering from clinical depression or another form of mental illness. the impact of this can not be understated. it's easy to write off health issues that aren't physical, but your overall well-being depends on more than that. the symptoms are usually seriously exacerbated by staying inside all day every day, and by not relying on your support system (even if it's small.) and i totally get what that's like. it gets to the point where you have no accurate perception, everything just sort of feels genuinely hopeless even though in reality, that's never the case. but your brain will use your feelings of emptiness/sadness to truly convince you that it is. like, you think you only have 1 friend because of the way you are, right? but in reality, early adulthood is a fucking lonely place to be, since you no longer have school as a way of meeting people. it is sooo common to find yourself in periods of solitude when figuring out who you want to be. im not saying its not allowed to hurt, but it's not something to feel guilty over. anyway hating yourself because you're depressed and being depressed cause you hate yourself is a completely vicious cycle, and it is not your fault. i want to tell you that it is honestly natural to not know what you want from life at 22. you're just getting acquainted with adulthood, you don't have the experience to be self assured, and the world's already acting like you should have it figured out. 🙄 but one thing ive learned from observing my older sister and her friends is that none of them feel like they understand or like they're doing great. a lot of people in our age bracket are simply doing what they can to get through the day. because that is enough .there are no set milestones that you have to reach by X year in order to find future happiness, ok? what matters more, imo, is looking at what you can do right now to help break the cycle you're in. even if you don't want to. it all with taking care of yourself, everything else follows after. for me it was literally just washing my face and brushing my teeth every day. then building a loose outline of a routine. baby steps are very necessary and progress doesn't have to be fast or linear, but trying is always the point. if you have to rework your uni schedule then so be it. your mental health always comes before your education. i know thats easier in theory than in practice buy you need to look after yourself in order to find the motivation to attend your classes properly, and that will always be the bottom line.

more importantly though, i really think you need to talk to a professional about this. please don't ignore the idea, please don't give in to self destruction. if you're worried about the price, maybe you could research some cost effective resources in your area? there's often support groups, or community centers that may be able to refer you, or your uni may have a counseling system to offer....i know it's a lot of effort when all you want to do is hide. and im not saying it'll solve everything immediately. but talking to someone who is equipped to help you deal with the bad days AND who can help you identify the root causes of what's going on - well that can make a massive difference. medication may also be necessary, and very helpful. all of these options can make the future feel less daunting, and more like an enigma that is simply going to unfold as it should. talking and letting it all out can really give you a different perspective. it's ok to process negative emotions and to feel like giving up sometimes, but having the tools to know how to cope is what is going to allow you to find the sustainable 'okayness' that you're looking for. i understand that it's difficult, like beyond words difficult. but you are not doomed in the way you think you are. you're just young, you need support and you haven't lived the answers to your problems yet. so even if you just begin with calling a mental health hotline or talking to a friend/family member, or just considering it at least, then i really think that'll be a step in the right direction. it can seem sort of scary, but it's not as scary as suffering in silence and allowing this to get worse. especially because you don't have to. you're not alone. you may feel isolated, but you don't have to handle this all by yourself, love. anyway i don't want this to get too long but i hope you know that despite how much it hurts, there is always a way for everyone, including you. and you do deserve to create a wonderful life for yourself, even if you don't believe so. please think about what you need and curating your daily routine around reaching small goals that will make you feel better/get you out of your head. im absolutely rooting for you!! let me know if you need a friend. also thank you so much for sticking around on my blog dbdghfz im 😳😳 you're truly a sweetheart and i appreciate it so much. can't believe u like this shitshow but ily ❤️💘

[zoppzoop]

hi im back kjdhkajf today's not a good day, and i cant rant on main because i feel like ppl get annoyed when seeing it on their dash so im here hehe

i'm crying as im writing this, because 2dei,,, it's like, reminded me of the things i get so insecure and so sad about, and like, seeing people get greeted with a happy valentines, and seeing couples happy together, it just...idk, made the day worse than it already was lol

even as i scroll thru tiktok, it just...doesn't help but i can't stop because i can't do shit when im feeling like this...and i feel scared and sad when i hear the phrase, "you can't love someone without loving yourself first" and im so scared because what if i couldn't love myself? it just kept getting worse and worse lol

im sorry for just dumping this on you :') feel free not to answer or some shit

happy valentines' day :)

- crying anon (i kinda forgot my end name so im sorry HAHA)

Ahh hi anon!! I get you, I've been away from my phone and online spaces in general and spending my time playing Terraria for the same reason lol but that's actually really understandable. Valentine's day usually can get like really fucking overwhelming and extra lonely.

Just know that you're not alone in that feeling nor alone in general bc I'm here for you. Also i just got done with my finals and I'm gonna be absolutely free till like the 17 or 18th this month so if you want you can just shoot me a message anytime 'kay?

Also if you want we could sit in a discord vc together and do our own stuff, kinda like sitting in a room with one of your close friends and doing your own thing!

And about the loving yourself thing, I do think it is important to love yourself but not in the love yourself to be able to love others kinda way, this is gonna get weirdly long because opinions yk so I'm gonna put it under a read more:

Mainly I think that phrase is more of a blanket statement made for like an obvious reason of getting people to love themselves but I also see it as kinda a general thing which you'd say as in like 'do into others as you want done to you' i can't really explain it but it has like the same vibes.

And I do believe you can and will love yourself and I hope that day is soon, but honestly take time with it yk? Personally it took me a little while to love myself and i get you on that fear, but just know that you will get there.

Be a bit more selfish and do things for yourself okay? Love can come in different forms and I know for a fact that I love you and you're really precious to me. So I hope that you to will love yourself soon, but remember it's okay to take some time.

And about the love yourself to love others thing, it's not that big of a deal okay? I know youve heard this before but you will find your special person and at that point whether you love yourself or not, they will be with you through it all and make you love yourself (hopefully you'll already be done with that and then they'll make you love yourself even more but yeah you get it?)

And till then, I'll be here for you always <3

[crispy-chan]

IM SO SOFT RN BECAUSE OF LOVE 🤧

I think giving and receiving asks are my fav thing about Tumblr. Idk why but they just hit different and I like talking to people even if it's just for stupid reasons.

You know what's funny last night I was up late working on something and I only got like a 30 min nap BUT IM AS ENERGETIC AS EVER. my sis says I have insomnia, but I don't think so, somethings are just more important than sleep 😌

DW THO I DO GET SLEEP

It just probably isn't that healthy all things considered 😅

Anyways how are you my dear CRISPY jas? ;) I hope you're getting enough sleep and rest ^^ Sending xoxo's of love!

-🧸

i agree !! although i must admit i'm terrible with answering asks T_T i always want to give a proper, long answer that the ask deserves so i keep putting it off and i feel really guilty, but please know that i read ALL the asks you send me and i get this stupid big smile because it's really nice to talk to ppl on this lonely hellsite :)))

i agree tho - both "personal" asks or like random conversations and asks about my writings cause i'm starved for compliments lmao.

also howw? i sleep only about 4-6 hours rn (which is super bad) but school has been eating me alive so ig there's nothing i can do :< so i totally feel ya :)

i hope you got the proper rest you deserve :]

aaahh !! i love it when ppl call me crispy :> it's really cute and silly and puts a smile on my face T_T

but i'm good!! finally got my shit together and decided that i want to take the B1 exam (which leads to a certificate) for German in June :)) honestly, if covid didn't mess with my schedule, i would've probably had the certificate already but it just loves to mess with our lives -_-

i'm really exited though cause if i pass, i don't need to worry about the graduate test for german since this certificate is of equal value. also - it means that i could finally start learning another language *cough cough* korean *cough* which i've actually wanted to learn for the past 14 months :]

i'm hoping that i'll actually manage to take the exam and be able to start learning a new language cause it's something i'd really like for myself lol.

anyways, sorry for the rant and i hope you'll see the response 😭

have a lovely day/night <3

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

William/Mark was ostracized the other night

Thats why the news about the non-rapes occurred in Oklahoma news because it was regionally broadcast that it occurred in 1999 by qE2

Before a longer story; I just want to say we understand. And no one blames you nor harbors ill will towards your prior belief of understanding.

I just hope you understand the truth and you welcome him in your community as he wishes to be. I further wish you understand he's a true hero and none of this would happened without him. But if youd like to treat him as a normal person no different than you, then thats great. It is what we prefer most because we want everyone to be treated like kings and queens.

He is my true soulmate and he has had to hide that from me and all that hoopla.

I and a previously legless Abu burned down the eQ2 Okmulgee & Oklahoma buildings she owned while he was in jail over a stolen bike that he did not steal.

Jennifer Landsberry had a clone as did William.

Like he's some planet needle like grass needs to grow on.

eQ2 was not quite able to perfect chest hair back then. It was always like a porcupine. She also didn't know how to not make it grow on clones. She could get the scientists to pick out the eggs without for humans but could never do clones.

Clones come from the prostate and sperm for men and for women, where girls wetness comes from and her ovaries. That's all I'll say. Because she did some crazy after that. And that's way too much information even if no one says they're gonna do that... Its been happening since the 70s but i figured it out in 1984 and 1986 then some one listened in 1994.

So Mark William knew he had a twin But not a clone... Nor did anyone know Jen was a clone. But she was. Then a Stephanie clone kept messing me up and kept me and Mark William apart for enough time for the qE2 to realize she could do more in her plans.

The whole William clone was a mess... He would beat Jen up and she would call me and he would hit her in front of me.

And a whole lot of shit.

And since my real man was in jail and the clones would constantly lie and covet for the qE2... I was lost. And so was all of Okmulgee.

So I came out here to New Mexico. And for the last 19 years I've lived like any lost Okmulgee person. In misery and Hell. Poverty and sadness. Alone but not lonely.

So, i understand believing lies. I wrote William only when I was getting married and pregnant but not after, just 2 baby pictures. Because then i got legally married.

Once after my divorce and told him not to write me if he wanted anything more than pen pals. So he did not respond.

In the last letter i wrote him how escaping jail (with his clone that was arrested for arson) was his choice but how all the cops knew Jen did drops and how the clone had a cell phone and called Jen everyday. And so in legal belief a jury of 10 would 100% decide without discussing that he should be set free. So he should demand a better prison and early release but not parole nor probation. Just release, by the time he was 30 or 40, his choice.

Look at that baby face. He was just a little lamb when they locked him in.

So I did check about 2 years later and he did indeed make two moves and was at a low security prison in 2014.

Alexis Dejoria and William LeGrande began exchanging emails in 2016.

She and Kim Kardashian got him permanently released this summer by paying cash for his release. Which then he turned around and demanded 2x the amount from qE2 and he paid them back exactly what they paid the queen.

He had to promise not to approach me until she was dead. Because i don't approach people or talk to people in like stores unless i see they need help making a purchase or reaching something. Then i offer advise if I know the topic or my arms if i can reach.

And I certainly wouldn't approached him not being aware of clones.

I only found out he was released 6 days ago but i have seen him all in my neighborhood walking around sucking on a lollipop.

Which made me always think "one of us is a sucker but Idk which one of us" because im so used to people following me for different reasons, rapists not wanting to get caught and hiring people to intimidate me, undercover law enforcement, hired hitmen, qE2 I know now, Abus, and all kinds. So I knew he was a follow but how or why i Didn't take my time on.

I would more focus on the times I saw them. I thought that was more important than as to why.

Eventually someone would try to kill me to my face or wouldn't. And if law enforcement did their job, i wouldn't even notice.

So that's why i would count so i could find out how they bypassed security to Kill me to my face. Just in case they did get that far.

So there's a whole ton of his clones under the bunker at my Uncle's. All ready to rip people apart at any time. Of course they're good clones so they have Armageddon protection on top of the qE2 so even Fire don't bother them.

His twin always has a yoyo. And William has always carried an old old yoyo string in his pocket. Until Declan lit it on fire (to prove he was human) after doing karate moves on it. In 2008.

He was fucking lit crazy trying to get the string while JJJR held him back with Matt's help. And I thought it was hilariously funny.

So Declans sub father bought a whole yoyo for William to get the string out of. And Declan made a string ring and bracelet for him.

And he was pleased but was not happy his string was murdered and burnt. So i held his hand although he tried to take it away like i allowed his string to be and I explained "I know how that was the link to your only family" and he wanted to prove his point in loud breath "now now you've proved your point you won't even give me your hand" he slid his hand closer to me but looked away pouty "or even look at me" he slid his eyeball to the corner "now thats better." He wiggled his fingers of his hand i didn't touch "oh now you want me to hold it?!?!" He nodded so I held his fingers "I know how that wa the only link to your family" and he yanked away his hand and turned away to pout. Then sighed and reached deep into his other pocket

"I had two! One for me and one for him!"

"Oh forget it! Now my speech is ruined!"

"Uh no! Im not! Give me the other yoyo!" Said Declan "the other yoyo! I need it! So you can match don't worry about it"

"But I needed two to prove it was -- wait finish your story i bet it was magic..."

"What? Oh. Well Declan burned it for proof you're not a clone, you know after he... Killed it... And So what I was going to continue to say. Honey are you even listening?"

"Shh" he told Declan "let her finish"

"I can't. I need to see little Declans face when i finish, now that you mention it."

"No You don't! I'll be fine!!!"

"Then you'll need a tissue I'll be right back" Declan always turns so no one sees him crying. Just like I do

"Okay as i was saying. Now you have a new family. With us and with--"

His mouth dropped open and he jumped up and ran from where he moved to let Declan size the jewelry to where I stood after dropping his tissue for him on his back like a half sash like George of the Jungle

"I knew it!! I knew it!! That's what he was just saying too!! He said Annie had told him when they were in the room. He wanted to know why you were laughing and why you were happy when he did something bad thats why he made the ring for me! Why do you look so ... Do you want to finish?!? Here measure me!"

"Dec..lan!"

"Oh thank God. I needed that. Wait. I got snot"

"Why do you look so... What? Is it shock??"

"Uh huh" i sunk into the couch and began to cry droplets of tears like rain

"Honey! What's wrong?!"

"Nothing! Every thing is just perfect!!"

Declan gasped and jumped up from his squatted position and gsve me a hug and kiss on the cheek "thanks. I needed that!"

.... See i had been dealing with clones for a few years and a bunch of Declans dad's clones and twins so I was used to people looking familiar. He told me his name was Mark. So I didn't ever realize I was talking to William LeGrande.

He went by Mark because they did like CIA codes to escape. You didn't want to miss your "mark" in their Harriet Tubman land.

And he didn't sleep in my bed.

But I felt more comfortable with him than I did with anyone in my life. Only a bit more than my daughter. Tiny almost unnoticeable amount.

*Declan's soulmate was murdered by an evil clone for punishment for being independent. So Declan's independent ass told me. So I told him i would give him a soulmate because we were both similar thinkers. When he asked. So William got a free pass out and a "regrowth" which they used an injection for. And we made my kid. But inwas drugged then on Xanax so.

[myfirstandlast]

1/2 first of all i wanna say im touched that you took your time and wrote a long answer. Bc most of the time i feel so lonely and scared and i just want to feel like im valid but theres no one around me to make me feel that. I grew up in a religious family and now im just "wrong" according to all the things i valued. Im sick of feeling like i should be ashamed or im something that needs to be hidden. Im so sad that i'll never be able to show my true self to my parents bc they're gonna hate me.

2/2 I want to love someone but at the same time im so scared of it bc whats gonna happen? I’d want to love her freely and proudly but thats not likely to happen in this environment. I talked so much but thank you for being there for me and being sincere. It really means a lot knowing that someone cares and maybe i am not all alone. Love you too megan 💕

finally i’m able to answer your ask properly!! i’m so sorry for the wait angel :((

i really had lots to say on the topic and you asked questions that run really Really deep so i had to think a good bit about em u know!! unfortunately there’s probably gonna be a lot of times when you’re kinda isolated from someone to lean on and you really have to be your own pillar more often than not, which can be so draining but u know, no one’s gonna look out for u like u

that’s another really difficult and dangerous environment to be in and i’m sorry that a religion is put before the love of a child, i really am. i’m in your position and it hurts but.. idk if this sounds insensitive but blood doesn’t necessarily mean permanence? everyone’s situation is different i know some are worse off than others but all i mean by that is that just because your family is your family doesn’t mean they always know what’s best, in that field of being at least, since it’s so incredibly personal. their values are twisted if they tell them that the people you love make you illegitimate and you will always be above that, and you don’t need to abandon that religion if it’s important to you, but don’t let it dictate your worth in this world. i’m sorry again if i sound insensitive, i’m not very religious myself but if it’s important to you there is a balance possible where you can retain your values and still be able to tell yourself that you are fully valid. you don’t and have never deserved to be hidden or hated by anyone, especially not the people closest to you. i don’t really know how to offer support in the awful case that your parents do act in a violently negative way if you ever decide to come out because that’s the same fear i have, but i just have to think about a possible future with someone i deeply and fully love always being worth the trials, and something that is waiting for me down the line. it’s hard to hold on to because we all Want Love Now, but life really is different when you’re grown and on your own paying your own bills and accounting for yourself and having that extra degree of control is gonna change your whole worldview, hopefully for the better. i know this part of life doesn’t feel temporary but it is and i promise that!! this is one of those things where you don’t need their approval if not having it interferes with your happiness and wellbeing, and you’re allowed to be somewhat selfish and working for yourself in that regard. you are not all alone, by no means whatsoever! you aren’t the first and you won’t be the last to be worried, scared, confused, hopeful, and i hope that last one takes up the most space. we just have to be patient - self-discipline is our survival. i love love love you, thank you so much again for trusting me enough to come to me!!