#but i think if i go to London for the sole purpose of seeing a play AGAIN i may get into trouble

[thatsouthernstate]

orangetreetheater: First look at SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER, currently in rehearsals. Our Christmas comedy by Oliver Goldsmith and directed by OT Artistic Director Tom Littler with Francesca Ellis, opens previews at the Orange Tree on 18 November. Featuring our wonderful cast: Sabrina Bartlett, Richard Derrington, Freddie Fox, David Horovitch, Guy Hughes, Robert Mountford, Tanya Reynolds and Greta Scacchi. Tickets going fast; book now at orangetreetheatre.co.uk 📷 Marc Brenner

[gunnerfc]

First Times | Leah Williamson x USWNT!Reader

Inspired by “First Times” by Ed Sheeran, perhaps solely because of the line about “Wembley” lol

Collection of different firsts with Leah

WC: 1543

Warnings: none! Just fluff (with little angst in the 'first fight')

First meeting

Playing England was always a tough match, both teams always wanting to prove something. During the pre-match warm-ups, your eyes kept drifting toward a certain English defender. If you had been caught, you would have said it was because you wanted to understand how she defended since you were a forward, but that would have been a lie. You were distracted by Leah’s beauty, her confidence going in for tackles, and the way it all seemed effortless for her. You didn’t know it then that Leah knew you were staring, but under your subtle watch, Leah could sense herself blushing, feeling nervous even though it hardly showed. 

The two of you went head-to-head a lot during the match, it seemed that every time you were close to getting a shot off on goal, Leah was there to prevent the goal. It was during a corner for the US when Leah first spoke to you. You had felt a hand on your back as you were waiting for the corner to be taken, though you didn’t think anything of it until you heard her make a joke about your pre-match studying failing. Leah had caught you off guard as the ball soared right over your head as you made no attempt to head the ball towards to goal.

The match had ended in a zero-zero draw and as players from both teams shook hands, you and Leah purposely gave a quick handshake to others as you passed on your way towards each other. Leah had an annoying smirk on her face as you stuck out your hand, ready to say “good game.” She beat you to it though, saying something along the lines of “we should do it again sometime.”

First kiss

After the international break, you both went back to your clubs, Leah to England and you to Spain. During the club season, the two of you kept in contact, texting and calling each day just to talk to one another. With the Champions League underway and a trip to England to play Chelsea, you two had planned a date for when you had an off day in London. The training for the game had been harsher than the rest, determined to end the English club’s hopes of making it further in the competition. By the time you had free time rolled around, you were bursting with excitement to see Leah in person again.

Leah had conceived you to let her plan the whole date under the guise of “being your official tour guide” even though you had told her this was not your first time in London. The date started in a café, Leah insisting on showing you her favorite place to get a quick bite. Leah showed you around London, making sure to show you both the normal tourist spots as well as the spots only locals would know about. The date lasted well into the night but eventually had to come to an end as you needed to get back to the team’s hotel before curfew.

Leah made sure to walk you back to your room, both of you enjoying the silence between you as you both stood outside your door, not wanting the date to end. As you opened your mouth to tell the blonde goodnight, she broke the silence first with “can I kiss you?” You felt your skin heat up, knowing Leah could see the blush coating your face. You nodded with a small smile and waited for her to close the gap between the two of you. You swore it felt like the kisses in the movies where the characters feel fireworks as Leah’s lips connected with yours. You were the first to pull away, not wanting to go any further on the first date. You both mumbled a quiet “goodnight” with big smiles before parting ways for the night.

Saying 'I love you' for the first time

Dating Leah for the past few months had been some of the best months of your life, despite the distance between the two of you. It was currently the off-season for both of you and you had planned to spend a large part of your time in London with Leah to make up for the time spent apart. The two of you worked well together and getting able to spend some much-needed quality time together, only made you more confident in the fact that you loved Leah, even if you hadn't explicitly told her.

You and the blonde defender had spent the day shopping for some little gifts for your family, walking around London holding hands, not caring about anything but the other. After making it back to Leah’s later that night, the two of you decided to spend the rest of the night on the couch watching random movies, content with just sitting with each other. Sometime during the fifth movie of the night, you could sense Leah’s breath even out, her exhaustion from being out all day catching up to her. You watched as her chest rose and fell, overcome with love for the defender. You made an effort to brush a piece of her hair back behind her ear, mumbling “i love you” not thinking she would have heard you. But as you watch her face turn a light shade of red, you knew she was not as asleep as you thought. Before you could get anything out, Leah sleepily replied with “i love you too” before rearranging her body to rest her head on your shoulder.

First fight

Up until recently, your relationship with Leah was running smoothly, with no big disagreements or misunderstandings. However, with the stress of the season staring back soon, Leah was entirely preoccupied with making sure she was as fit as she could be. This came at the expense of her slightly neglecting your relationship. You knew to give her space, you understood the stress as your season in Barcelona was about to begin as well, but you still made an effort to send her a quick message throughout the day to let her know you were thinking of her, even if you knew she wouldn't respond. 

The season was well into the swing of things and the communication between you and your girlfriend was nowhere near where it used to be and it was starting to put a strain on things. It wasn’t until a particularly bad game with Arsenal that your girlfriend truly sensed something was wrong. She hadn't played her best and refused to acknowledge that it was because of what was going on between the two of you. You had called her after you knew she had made it home, having watched the game and seeing your normally confident, fearless girlfriend miss one too many tackles and allowed a few balls through that she typically would have stopped.

In hindsight, calling her when you knew she was beating herself up was not the best decision to make, but you wanted to make sure she knew it was okay to make a few mistakes and that she could make them up during the next game. As Leah answered your call, you could sense the fight coming but after hardly hearing from the defender for days, you decided to risk it. The fight had started over her mistakes which then snowballed into her blaming you for said mistakes. This led to you bringing up her lack of communication with you and seemed to piss the blonde off even more, Leah stating that she didnt have to talk to every minute. Leah regretted the words the second they left her mouth and knew she truly messed up when all you did was scoff and hung up the phone. Each attempt to call you right back failed as you declined each call. 

The complete radio silence from you lasted for about a week until you got injured during the El Clásico against Real Madrid. It wasn’t a serious injury but it was going to keep you for a few weeks. As you lay in bed that night, your phone rang and not thinking about checking the called ID, you picked up, hoping to get rid of whoever was calling quickly. As soon as the word “hello” left your mouth, you heard your English girlfriend’s familiar accent on the other line. Leah didnt give you time to fully respond before she began rattling off an apology you could barely understand because she was talking very quickly. Having to say her name pretty loudly to get her attention, Leah finally let out a breath before muttering a “sorry.” The rest of the night was Leah apologizing for her lack her communication and the words she had said the week before, having stated that watching you go down in the middle of the game made her realize she hated thinking that she may have had some influence on the injury knowing your thoughts most likely hadn't stopped revolving around the fight between the two of you. The two of you spent the rest of the night talking everything out before you fell asleep on the phone due to the exhaustion from the match and the pain of your injury.

[archiveikemen]

Liam Evans 2nd Birthday Campaign: Story

Chapters 1—3

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

One night, a few hours before his birthday.

Liam: Are you ready, Kate?

Kate: Yes, sorry for keeping you waiting. 

I thought back to something that happened a few nights ago—. 

= Flashback Start = 

Kate: Nn…

Liam: Sorry, did I wake you?

I was woken up by Liam’s gentle voice as he climbed into bed like a cat. 

Kate: It’s okay, welcome back.

I reached my arms out to hug him and my eyes narrowed from the feeling of his body warmth, when— 

Kate: … You smell nice.

There was a delicious smell coming from his clothes. 

Kate: Did you eat something, Liam?

It wasn’t the first time he went out at night. 

(Before we started dating, it seemed that he had to regularly go outside and satisfy his curiosity.) 

(But after we started dating, he did that less frequently and stopped doing dangerous things.)

I thought that going out at night was a way for him to distract himself a little because he couldn’t sleep, but…

(Why did he come back smelling this delicious…?)

Liam: I didn't eat anything… maybe the smell from the food stalls clung to me. 

Liam: There’s a nighttime event happening in London for a week, starting from today. 

Liam: I passed through the market where the food stalls were, so I think that's why I smell like them.

Liam: The smell must be bothering you. Sorry, I’ll leave right away. 

I grabbed his hand as he was about to get off the bed and buried my face in his clothes. 

Kate: … Now I’m hungry.

I couldn't help but laugh. He happily hugged me again and narrowed his eyes tenderly.

Kate: I wish I went with you.

Liam: I wanted to go with you too.

Liam: How about we go together?

…

Liam: Shall we get going?

As we walked hand in hand, I recalled the conversation we had about his birthday present.

(Knowing how he is, I didn’t expect Liam to directly say what he wanted…) 

Liam said that going out together was his birthday present. 

(But I still want to make him happy and give him something.)

After giving it some thought, I had an idea and decided to put it into action. 

…

Kate: Wow…!

The bustling market lined with various stalls lit up the night. 

Liam: There may be a lot of people here, but it’s still night time. Don’t stray too far from me, okay?

He took my hand, and we walked along the street filled with delicious smells and cheerful sounds. 

Kate: They have alcohol, fish and chips, pie, and even scones.

Liam: They’re selling sausages and other meat dishes too.

Kate: And there’s gelato over there! 

We chatted happily while exploring the stalls, but—

Liam: Ah, I thought you’d like this pie, Kate.

Liam: Those limited edition cookies over there look lovely, I think you’ll like them too.

Liam: These cocktails are low in alcohol content, so they're suitable for you to drink. 

Kate: … You sure know a lot, don't you, Liam?

He scratched his cheek and smiled bashfully, narrowing his eyes. 

Liam: I memorised those things because I’m always thinking about you.

(I truly am the luckiest person alive…)

His words brought me joy, and his actions conveyed his love for me.

Liam: How is it? Does it taste good?

I nodded repeatedly with a mouth full of meat pie.

Seeing this, he looked satisfied and ate his pie, however—

Kate: Liam, you have something on your mouth… 

Liam: Kate, you have something on your mouth…

Both of us reached out at the exact same time to brush away the crumbs from the corners of each other’s mouths.

Our eyes met and we blinked at each other in silence. 

It was him who burst out laughing first.

Liam: Haha! We were thinking the same thing.

Kate: Fufu, even our timing was the same.

Liam: We might really be getting increasingly similar to each other recently. 

Kate: We even bought the same food the other day. 

When I went home with new items from the bakery, I saw him waiting for me with the same items. 

When I was mentioning places I wanted to go on dates, he suggested the exact same spots… 

(I feel so much joy whenever such things happen.)

After laughing together for a while, he caressed my cheek.

Liam: … I guess this is what they call “feeling blessed”. 

Liam: It looks like our worlds revolve around each other. 

Liam: I can’t contain my happiness whenever I realise that.

I wrapped my hand over the one caressing my cheek and lowered my gaze. 

Kate: I feel happy and blessed too. 

Kate: Wonderful, isn’t it? We’re always thinking about each other.

We smiled and gently embraced each other,

Liam: … You’re a natural at making me happy, Kate.

Kate: Fufu… and you’re a natural at making me happy. 

The sound of his laughter in my ear filled me with joy once again.

Liam: I feel like kidnapping you right this instant and take you straight to bed. 

Kate: Before you do that, I want to buy a cake first.

Liam: Could it be… my birthday cake?

Kate: Yes. Shall we choose one together?

I was sure he would be happy with anything if I were the one choosing or baking it. 

(But Liam isn’t a fan of sweets, so it might be better to get a smaller cake.) 

Liam: … Yeah, I want to choose one together with you.

Kate: There’s a cake shop over there.

Kate: Let’s go, Liam. 

The way he squinted as if dazzled by a bright light the moment I took his hand left an impression on me. 

= Flashback End = 

Kate: … Liam, you’re upset, aren't you?

He paced around with light, cat-like steps while carrying me in his arms and suddenly stopped.

Liam: I’m not.

His lips didn't form a smile, causing me to feel guilty and reflect on my actions a few hours ago.

= Flashback Start = 

Kate: This is all we could get. Are you really okay with it, Liam?

Liam: Yeah. I like this cake better, actually.

The cake shop had such a busy day that only small cupcakes were left.

(This is a little too plain for a birthday cake…) 

While I was thinking of wanting to somehow bring a birthday feeling to the moment, something caught my eye.

Kate: Liam, I’m going to get a little something from that shop over there. 

Not wanting to disturb him while he was browsing other shops, I let go of his hand after saying that. 

He frantically tried holding my hand again, but— 

Kate: It’s okay, the shop’s just over there. 

Since the shop was only a short distance away, I started walking towards it before he could grab my hand. 

The instant I turned around after buying what I wanted,

Kate: … Liam?

There was a sudden crowd of people passing by and before I knew it, he was out of my sight.

Just as I was desperately searching for him in the crowd, I felt my body being lifted off the ground…

= Flashback End = 

(We somehow managed to reunite and return home, but…)

According to the hands on the clock, it was almost dawn. Yet, I still hadn't been able to say happy birthday to him.

As I was gently set down on the edge of the bed, I glaced up at him standing in front of me.

Seeing the sadness in his eyes caused guilt to well up in me again. 

Liam: … Had I held your hand properly, you wouldn't have gotten lost. 

= Flashback Start =

Liam: There may be a lot of people here, but it’s still night time. Don’t stray too far from me, okay?

= Flashback End =

(I should've known that Liam would put the blame on himself instead of me.) 

Feeling ashamed of myself, I once again held the hand I had let go off. 

Kate: It’s not your fault, Liam! … I’m so sorry for worrying you.

His voice was trembling as he hugged me tightly, his eyes shaking. 

Liam: Don’t ever leave my side again.

Kate: … Okay. 

While we were feeling each other's warmth, 

Liam: ah…

He noticed the time and pulled away.

Liam: I didn’t realise it at all. 

I took a cupcake and something else out of a paper bag and lit it.

It was a candle in the shape of a rose. 

Kate: Happy birthday, Liam.

His eyes wavered as he accepted the cupcake. 

Kate: I’m so happy to celebrate your birthday again this year.

Kate: Thank you for being born. 

Liam: … You left to buy this? 

I nodded with a wry smile, and he bit his lip before smiling softly and closing his eyes.

Liam: … Thank you, Kate. 

Bit by bit, he started speaking the words he had been hiding in his heart.

Liam: Before I met you, I was always afraid of celebrating my birthday. 

Liam: I used to think that as long as I never know what this happiness feels like, I won’t feel sad when it disappears. 

I was reminded of the things he said when sharing his true feelings on his birthday last year.

= Flashback Start =

Liam: I… I was terrified of being celebrated… and knowing how it feels to have a birthday with you in it…

Liam: I was foolish and all I could think of was the possibility of me losing all of that… it scared me.

Liam: But if I keep running away… I’ll be trampling all over your kindness and feelings.

Liam: I don't have any other option but to choose this moment, because I just love you so much. 

= Flashback End =

The rose-shaped candle melted away, like it was shedding one petal at a time.

Liam: … There might come a day when, like this candle, all these happy moments will melt away. 

Liam: But I can’t go back to spending birthdays without you, and I don't think I can ever let go of your hand. 

He blew out the candle and it turned into something shaped like a flower bud.

Liam: Next year, the year after that, and until the day I die… will you celebrate my birthday by my side?

He brushed his finger across my lips as he made a wish for a future we had yet to see. 

Kate: … Of course I will. I’ll be right here by your side, celebrating your birthday even if you say you don’t want me to. 

Kate: I’ll keep doing that until the day you can finally say from the bottom of your heart that you’re glad you were born. 

I heard a slight gasp as I pressed the cupcake to his lips. 

Kate: Let’s eat, Liam. 

(Liam still struggles with his birthday.)

I can’t save the person who lived through his painful past. 

(I sometimes find myself wondering why couldn’t we have met sooner…)

(But I’m sure there’s a reason for us to only meet now.)

It's because I’ve set my heart on loving all his past wounds and living by his side.

Liam: … Kate.

Kate: Nn.

He stole a kiss from my lips after taking a bite of the cupcake.

Liam: Is it sweet?

Kate: … It became sweeter because of you. 

He kicked the cream from the corners of my mouth, looking amused—.

Liam: I’m not a fan of sweets, but I want to see more of your sweet expressions.

He deepened the kiss and we fell onto the bed. 

Kate: Liam, wait a second.

Liam: I can’t wait anymore.

He undid the ribbon at the back of my shirt, causing it to fall off my shoulders.

As he took off my skirt, he reached for his own shirt as well.

Liam: I want you right now. 

I was enveloped by the sweet smell of vanilla, tempting me to give into him on the spot, but—.

Kate: I want to give you your present! 

I slipped out from under him and reached under the bed.

Liam: … Don’t tell me, you’ve been hiding it there?

I lifted up a large paper bag with two hands and showed it to him, who was still in shock on the bed.

Kate: You never noticed, did you?

(It was the right decision to hide it before we headed out.)

Kate: Now close your eyes.

Following my instructions, he closed his eyes. I stood on the bed and swiftly ripped open the paper bag.

Liam: Wha…

He looked up and at the same time, a shower of flower petals rained down on him.

Liam: Wow… petals!? 

The pink petals fell over his head like blessings, scattering onto the white sheets. 

In an instant, Liam and the bed were covered in petals. I couldn't contain my smile of satisfaction.

Kate: These are the petals of the modern roses you’ve always been giving me. 

Kate: I thought of expressing my gratitude by giving you a bouquet.

Kate: But apparently, pink roses have another meaning to them.

Liam: Another meaning…?

I picked up one petal from his head.

Kate: It means “happiness”. 

Kate: I wanted to shower you with petals signifying gratitude and happiness, because you’ve given me an abundance of them. 

Sitting on the bed surrounded by the smell of roses, he fell silent for a moment before chuckling and squinting his eyes as though faced with a bright light. 

Liam: I truly am so blessed.

I leaned in and was about to kiss his forehead covered with rose petals, when— 

Kate: Whoa!

Liam: Are you okay!? 

I slipped and fell right into his chest. 

Kate: T-this is embarrassing…

I got on my knees to support my body, he wrapped one arm around my waist and cupped my cheek with the other.

When I lifted my head, I saw that the light of dawn was starting to shine into the room. 

Liam: I’ve always wanted to be a star.

Still smiling, he started to speak.

Liam: I thought that everyone would love me if I shined brightly enough. But then I realised, I can’t just turn into a star.

Liam: Because today, you’re the one shining so bright. I’ve always thought so, but you’re especially dazzling today.

(Ah…) 

I recalled noticing him gazing at me while squinting his eyes as though dazzled by a bright light. 

Liam: You gave me love that was once so out of reach for me, and made my days so bright with happiness that it’s almost terrifying. 

Liam: The name of the brightest star in my world is Kate. It shines so brightly and is precious to me beyond words. 

Liam: It’s you.

His smile as his joy and love overflowed was so bright, it made me squint my eyes. 

There was a star right there before my eyes. 

Kate: For me, you’re that star, Liam. 

Kate: The person who brings me so much joy and love… you’re my brightest star.

We laughed together and it was soon dawn. 

Liam: Well then, because I want to hold onto my brightest star…

With the arm wrapped around my waist, he gently laid me down onto the bed and I rested my body against his. 

Liam: Even after the night fades into day, stay shining in my arms.

My heart hammered against my chest as I closed my eyes and waited for a kiss. 

— We were each other’s brightest stars, shining brightly through our love. 

[an-aroaces-harem]

Ellis Twilight Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Ikemen Villains belongs to Cybird.

Another note: I know Ikemen Villains is set in victorian London, but I will use the japanese suffixes because I prefer them.

The next morning. When I reported yesterdayʼs incident, Jude-san, who had received similar information, was also there.

Victor: “Circus” huh …?

Jude: That circus group seems to have disbanded a long time ago.

Kate: What!?

Ellis: Disbanded …?

Jude: “Grace Circus Troupe”

Jude: After making a huge success in London, he was tricked into debt by the maggots who flock to success and he was on fire.

Jude: A quick disband followed.

(Okay, then …)

Kate: I heard that Bill-sanʼs lost friend was “recruited”.

Kate: Itʼs impossible for them to be invited to a disbanded circus troupe. The recruitment has nothing to do with the kidnapping, right?

Ellis: Maybe someone is lying and lures the victims by pretending to recruit them to the circus.

Victor: I wonder if the Grace Circus still exists behind the scenes, only pretending to be disbanded on the surface.

Victor: Maybe it was the work of someone who worked under the name of the Grace Circus …

Victor: … Including that, an additional investigation is needed.

Victor: Jude, Ellis and Kate, thank you for the information.

Victor: The fair ended yesterday, so please take a break for now.

I took a deep breath as I stared at Victor’s back as he left with his long hair.

(As a ‘fairytale writer’, I may be fine as long as I just record the crimes of the Crown members …)

(I wish I could help with stopping this incident before there are more victims.)

(… Ah! Thatʼs right, a report.)

As a fairytale writer, I tried to think back whether there was any sin that he committed so that I could write a report about it this time.

(Hmm … Ellis-kun and Jude-san didnʼt do anything sinful, did they?)

(In the first place, I wonder if Ellis-kun would ever commit a crime that could be written in the report?)

(… Maybe it would be faster to write about Jude-sanʼs sins, who is hated so much that his life is threatened.)

Jude: Oi, donʼt act like yer thinking of somethinʼ rude.

Kate: What!? N-no way!

Jude: So, ya had the courage to go on a show and put yer body on the line?

Kate: How do you know that?

Ellis: Did you see it?

Jude: Even if ya donʼt like it, yerʼll be able to see it on such a huge stage at the fair.

Jude: I thought she was a troublesome woman who was constantly frightened in a scene of chaos and refused to escort her.

Jude-san looked at me again. He narrowed his eyes.

Jude: Ya seem to have the guts, so if yer willing to come with me, then Iʼd be happy to come.

Kate: Y-yes …

(Does that mean you approve of me a little?)

Jude: Ellis was the one who got me involved in the first place. Yer in charge of her.

Ellis: Yes, I know. Thatʼs good, Kate-san.

(Maybe this was a good thing …)

In this way, I ended up spending my days following Jude-san and Ellis-kun about their work.

He was attacked by business rivals and thugs once every three days.

A few days passed while I was writing in my notebook about the two people who would get revenge for even more outrageous behavior.

Then, when I finished my work as a fairytale writer for the day …

Ellis: Kate-san, I found a delicious restaurant. Would you rather take a detour or go home?

Ellis-kun always called out to me.

Today, it was a restaurant, and yesterday I was invited to a place with a beautiful view on the setting sun, eating crepes.

The day before yesterday, we had freshly baked baguette, and the other day, we saw a new poster in front of the theater, and on the way home, we ate meat pie.

Kate: Ellis-kun, youʼve been taking me to a lot of delicious restaurants lately …

Ellis: And …?

Kate: I feel like my body is getting a little heavy.

Ellis: I donʼt think it has changed at all … so why donʼt we go there?

Kate: … Iʼm coming.

(I just have to make up what I eat by exercising …)

Ellis: Really?

Ellis: Iʼm glad. I thought Kate-san would like that restaurant.

Ellis: I wanted to take you with me.

And the time I spent with Ellis-kun wasnʼt just about eating delicious food together—

Kate: Huh? Ellis-kun, this book is …

There was a book on the chair I always used in the common room.

Ellis: Oh, that … I believe you said you wanted to read it, right?

Kate: Thatʼs right …! Thank you … How much was it?

Ellis: Donʼt worry about it, itʼs a gift.

Ellis: Kate-san bought me some cranberry jam the other day, so I returned the favor.

Kate: Thatʼs because I wanted to thank you for taking me to the restaurant.

Ellis: Then, as a thank you for this … let me know what you think after you finish reading it.

(I gave him cranberry jam for the restaurant, and now he gave me a book for the jam …)

(What do I think about this book in return?)

Kate: … Is that a thank you?

Ellis: Yeah. Like listening to you.

Kate: There you go again …

(Ellis-kun is too good on pampering, isnʼt he …)

—The only thing that I found disturbing, however, were these particular questions Ellis-kun asked me regularly.

Ellis: Hey, Kate-san … how happy are you now?

What made me happy and how happy was I.

Perhaps wanting to know that, Ellis-kun sometimes asked me to come over and talk to him.

Usually, people asked me this when I was feeling happy.

He asked me questions as if he could see right through me, as if he was making sure I was happy.

It was like watching an exchange between lovers … that always made my heart tickle.

Kate: Hmm … I guess itʼs like when Iʼm taking a nap on my bed in the sun on my first vacation in a while.

I felt like Iʼve gotten better at expressing “happiness”, probably because I was always asked about it.

Ellis: …

He always smiled after blinking his eyes.

Ellis: … Iʼd like to see that. Would you take a nap with me next time?

Kate: T-together?

Ellis: Yeah. Think about it.

Ellis: Well then, Kate-san, see you tomorrow.

(Together …)

The kindness shown to me by Ellis-kun was so limitless that I almost felt conceited.

However …

(Oh, Iʼm afraid Iʼm going to be spoiled and pampered …!)

Perhaps driven by this sense of crisis, Iʼve been waking up early lately.

(Iʼm having more fun than I used to, even though Iʼm doing a job that could cost me my life.)

(Itʼs all thanks to Ellis-kun, who does everything he can to make me happy, but …)

At breakfast in the early morning, Jude-san happened to be alone with a newspaper, and I took the liberty of talking to him.

Kate: Is there a reason why Ellis-kun is so particular about happiness?

Jude: … What will ya do if ya know?

Kate: Huh? No, itʼs just a question.

Kate: He was so nice to me that I got worried …

As I spent time with Ellis-kun, I gradually realized what he had done—

He put “the other personʼs needs first”, not his own.

(As Ellis-kun said before.)

(Itʼs as if Ellis-kun has no feelings or desires of his own.)

Kate: I think Ellis-kun is a person who genuinely enjoys the happiness of others.

Kate: There have to be things he likes to do, and doesnʼt like to do.

Kate: Iʼm a little worried that heʼs not holding back.

Jude: … Heh, ya got a good grasp on that.

Jude-san snorted as he glanced down on the newspaper, seemingly uninterested.

Jude: So, ya believe there has to be an ulterior motive behind it and ya canʼt trust him?

(Eh …)

Kate: I didnʼt say that much.

But for a moment, I was at a loss of words, wondering if I could guess what Jude-san was saying.

Jude: Itʼs all the same.

Jude: “I canʼt read his true feelings, so I donʼt know if I should be happy to be pampered” is what ya thinkinʼ.

(… Truth to be told, he might be right.)

(Am I suspicious of Ellis-kun …?)

He was the type of person who would do anything to cheer me up.

I was afraid of becoming complacent with that kindness and missing out on the feelings behind it.

Jude: There ainʼt such a thing as genuine kindness, so leave that assumption aside.

Jude: Iʼm sure that his kindness isnʼt “just” due to simple favoritism.

Kate: Huh …?

Jude: Well, but if doesnʼt get particularly attached to ya, then itʼll be fine.

Kate: That sounds like there are circumstances where itʼs not okay for him to get attached …

Jude: Ha, yer smarter than I thought.

Jude-san raised an eyebrow and continued.

Jude: If ya know that much, donʼtcha think a smart girl would know what to do?

Jude-san looked down at the newspaper, as if he didnʼt feel like explaining further.

Thereʼs no such thing as genuine kindness.

If he doesnʼt get particularly attached, itʼs fine.

Even so, I could only get a warm impression.

So, I didnʼt know anything concrete about what would happen if I stayed with Ellis-kun.

(… What is this pain?)

It was as if I had reached out to touch a beautiful phosphorescent light and a small pin had pricked my fingertip.

Ellis: Morning Jude, Kate-san.

(Ah!)

Kate: Ellis-kun! Morning …

My heart skipped a beat and my hand involuntarily brushed against the silverware on the table.

Ellis: … What happened?

His gentle colored eyes looked at me with concern.

Kate: No, itʼs nothing.

Jude: All she did was whining and bemoaning how hungry she was.

Ellis: … I see. Then letʼs eat breakfast.

Ellis-kun smiled and took his seat.

(What Jude-san meant earlier … is to keep my distance so that he doesnʼt get really attached to me.)

(But … after being saved by his kindness so much, I canʼt act distant now.)

So, as usual, I smiled and called out to him.

Kate: Oh, I buttered the toast before it got cold.

Ellis: For me as well? … You did.

Kate: Thank you, as always.

Ellis: Thanks, Kate-san.

(When Ellis-kun smiles happily, it makes me happy too.)

I was sure that no one would leave him alone.

Because he was such a wonderful person.

(Iʼm sure thereʼs no way heʼll get particularly attached to me.)

(While repaying the kindness I received.)

(Letʼs spend the month trying not to be too on easy Ellis-kun.)

And not misjudge the his sense of distance—thatʼs what I vowed to do as soon as I came here.

(Every time he is kind to me, I almost forget that commandment.)

Since then, his kindness has crept into the cracks of my commandments, and the distance between our hearts gradually narrowed …

I was sure we had reached a point where I could still turn back.

(I canʼt make any more mistakes …)

Perhaps, surely—I canʼt make a mistake.

After finishing breakfast, when Kate had left to get ready to go out, Ellis turned his gaze to Jude.

Ellis: Hey, Jude.

Jude: If itʼs somethinʼ stupid, I ainʼt listening.

Jude made a noise with the newspaper as if to interrupt the voice.

Ellis: Do you think Kate-san will be the happiest in her life within a month?

Jude: Dunno.

Ellis: If she ever has a moment like this, I want it to be forever.

Ellis: Because sheʼs a nice person.

When Jude glanced up to him, he saw Ellis with a very serious expression on his face.

Jude: … Ha, yer as crazy as ever.

Ellis: I guess so.

Ellis: I … just donʼt like people I care about become unhappy.

Jude: …

Regarding the kidnapping incident, matters took a turn that night—

William wandered into the common room and saw Jude and Ellis discussing tomorrowʼs meeting.

Then he smiled at me as I took notes on the proceedings.

William: Weʼve received new information regarding the kidnappings from Alfons.

⤷ next chapter

[lauralot89]

There is another sound, a queer one like——

I said I'd do it every time, no matter how stupid

Mr. Morris took me to the hotel where our rooms had been ordered by telegraph, he being the one who could best be spared, since he does not speak any foreign language.

'MURICA

It's no canny to run frae London to the Black Sea wi' a wind ahint ye, as though the Deil himself were blawin' on yer sail for his ain purpose.

Irony!

When we got past the Bosphorus the men began to grumble; some o' them, the Roumanians, came and asked me to heave overboard a big box which had been put on board by a queer lookin' old man just before we had started frae London.

a) Guys at least Dracula isn't killing you off one by one like he did on his last sailing expedition

b) wait when did he get old again

c)

oh boy antisemitism

gross

Those we had been speaking with ran off to see the horror, the women crying out "This is the work of a Slovak!"

oh boy more bigotry

gross

As a preliminary step, I was released from my promise to her.

Jonathan let's be honest you were never going to follow that promise anyway

I should have felt quite; astray doing the work if I had to write with a pen....

Man even back in 1893 people tried typing and went "wow this is so much better than writing things by hand, what have I been doing with my life"

Mina is far and away the smartest of everyone again but guys just go to the castle and wait for him to get there, you know that's where he's going

a chance thrust

Foreshadowing!

the boat service would, most likely, be the one which would destroy the … the … the … Vampire.

...Did she type a stutter? In non-dialogue prose?

and find our way to the Castle of Dracula

oh okay so we are doing the obvious thing and just splitting up the group for dramatic purposes

Great work, Van Helsing, you've given Jonathan a traumatic flashback

And, too, it made me think of the wonderful power of money!

Yay Arthur, your sole value to the team!

[scoatneyhall]

Okay, Ted Lasso pals. I really just need to put this one out into the universe. This is in the Britpick primer @belmottetower made already, but I certainly don't assume everyone reads that. I need people to know that "flat" is not British slang for someone's "home" or "place." It is SPECIFICALLY slang for "apartment," as in, a "block of flats."

I am saying this because I seen a lot - like a LOT - of use of the word "flat" recently in fic. At first I wondered whether it was people just for some reason imagining that the characters, generally Roy and Jamie, are actually living in flats, as in, misinterpreting what kind of homes they would be living in as very wealthy footballers, despite having seen Jamie's house several times on the show and knowing what Roy's must be like due to his wealth and neighbourhood. But then sometimes when describing the layout of the home or the action, of stairs being involved, of people coming and going from the door or whatever, it really still seemed to be a house, and it made me wonder if in fact some non-British writers are just getting the slang wrong? That they think "flat" is slang for someone's home, like "pad" or the very British term "gaff," as opposed to a specific type of building?

So this is a judgement-free PSA to let you know that this is not the case. Flat means apartment and ONLY apartment, and characters like Roy and Jamie are not living in apartments in the canon of the show.

(Footballers sometimes do live in apartments. A few of the Man City players are buying huge penthouse flats in some of the inner city high security Manchester high rises, and it's possible that Jamie owns a fancy flat like that in Manchester. But Richmond is not an area of London filled with luxury high rises.)

In the show, Nate lives in a flat within a block of flats. Ted lives in a flat above a shop. Jamie and Keeley live in houses. We have seen their exteriors (Jamie's season 3 house is the same one he had in season 1.) Colin lives in a house. Phoebe and Roy's sister live in a house. Rebecca lives in a large terrace house opposite Richmond Green. Given that we see Roy's street in the Christmas episode, we can be very sure that his place is also a large terrace house of a similar style to the ones they knock on doors of. Roy grew up in a block of council flats - he points to it in 2.05 - whereas Jamie grew up in a council terrace house.

This post is not aimed at you if you've intentionally written something like Jamie moving into a security building for safety reasons or something. I have this situation coming up in a fic myself. This is not about splitting hairs of whether it would or wouldn't be possible or in character for them to live in a flat. It is solely and literally only for the purpose of flagging the fact that "flat" is not generic slang for "home," for the people that may have thought it was and used the word flat when they were picturing and intending the characters to be in a house. This is probably a very annoying post but if this helps even one person it's worth it.

[themeepyfreak]

One of the reasons that I could never warm up to Hook that is completely glossed over in the fandom is how much he screwed Baelfire over with seemingly no remorse. The narrative tries so hard to write off Hook as a good person and Baelfire’s friend in the later seasons that I don’t think people really don’t understand how despicable his actions were.

First, he either convinced Bae’s mother to leave her family or assisted in Bae’s mother leaving her family. I don’t blame Hook too much for that since the majority of the blame is definitely on Milah, but Hook didn’t need to antagonize Rumple and threaten Bae’s only other parent. (They did have Hook address that this was wrong of him on the show though which is more than they usually do.) And even if Hook told Bae that they wanted to go back for him, the truth is that they did not. Bae was 4-6 years old when Milah left, and Rumple killed Milah when Bae was 14 years old in London, so Hook and Milah were together for 8-10 years (common law married at the very least) in which they never actually came back for Bae or even informed him that his mother was alive. If Rumple hadn’t become the Dark One, Bae would have died fighting the Ogres, and there would have been nobody to come back to. I doubt they actually had any intentions of going back to Bae; Hook just said that to give Bae a more positive outlook on the mother that abandoned him.

Then, he built up Bae’s trust for the sole purpose of gaining information to kill his father. He did save Bae from the mermaids and sheltered him for a while, but all of his niceness (until he got attached to Bae) was to gain Bae’s trust so that Bae could give information on his father. Hook’s friendship with Bae that they boast about in later seasons was dependent on a lie and mostly faked on one side.

His main offense that is glossed over the most in canon is that he abandoned Bae and sold him out to Pan. This is debatably one of the worst abandonments in the show, and it is never talked about.

- First, Hook does this within the same day that Bae found out about his mom abandoning him and his dad killing his mom (rubbing salt into the wound). And despite how it appears in the show, this was not a split second decision since Hook (or his crew) had to physically call up the Lost Boys to get Bae. The Lost Boys were mainly on the island and didn’t lurk near the ship without being prompted (or else Bae couldn’t have been on deck when Hook was playing friends with him in fear of being seen). When Hook was giving his “I can change” speech to Bae, the Lost Boys were already called or else they wouldn’t have been there immediately afterwards. Maybe Hook would have hidden Bae if Bae agreed, but he had already sold Bae out by that point.

- Second (and why this abandonment is one of the worst), Hook intentionally sold Bae to a known psychopath that he knew would mentally, physically, and emotionally torture him. Hook knows the Lost Boys and how bad Pan is. That’s why he and his crew are always on the ship rather than on the island. That’s why he tries to avoid Neverland even if he is stuck in the realm. That’s why he hides Bae from the Lost Boys in the first place. Not to mention that selling Bae out was for a selfish reason (to be in Pan’s favor and gain access out of Neverland) and can’t even be argued as being in Bae’s best interests.

- Third, knowing where Bae was and that Bae was suffering, Hook left Bae in Neverland for centuries, perpetuating the initial abandonment. How do you think it felt for Bae to see Hook enter and leave the island/realm over and over again for hundreds of years, leaving Bae on Neverland over and over again? (Part of me wonders whether that’s why Pan let Hook off the island in the first place, to be able to lord about it to Bae.) I strongly suspect that Bae tried to petition to or stowaway with Hook (since he was trying to escape), but Hook refused him and turned him back to Pan (since Hook was in Pan’s employ) which had to hurt worse.

Maybe I could let it go if Hook showed remorse or it was addressed in canon, but instead, the opposite happened. Hook painted this picture of him and Bae as friends (even though most of their friendship was Hook using Bae for information) to bond with Emma after Bae “died”. He lied by omission of all the pain he caused Bae which is never clarified in canon. After Bae actually dies, he tries to rewrite his and Bae’s history again when describing their “friendship” to Henry. And the worst part is that nobody can contest it since Bae is dead in all of these scenes.

Not to mention that when they find out that Bae is alive in Neverland (which Hook did not seem happy about in the slightest), Hook decides to go after Emma, the woman that he knows Bae loves and that loves Bae (since Emma wasn’t quiet about that at all). They are trying to find Henry, and Hook is purposely baiting Bae with talks of his and Emma’s “dalliance” (which implies way more than a kiss). Hook makes it into a competition, as if Emma is a trophy, and continues pursuing Emma in front of Bae even though Emma said “No” countless times. And despite supposedly backing out of the competition after Neverland, he still continues to harass Emma until they kiss immediately after Bae dies and get together in the end. Whether you’re a Swanfire fan or not, the entire thing is rude and disrespectful to Bae.

[ambitionectomy]

I have at least 47 questions that could be posed. Here are some of them:

Can I change my name from atrociousphish to something you would recognize?

Pretend I have NO social media presence other than this tumblr account I just created. Does that count as a question?

Do you think I created this account with the SOLE PURPOSE of reading your work without subscribing to the Globe?

What if God walked into your house in human form and started swearing just for the sheer fun of defying expectations? Would you invite her to stay for dinner?

Why do they keep Boston so goddamn far away from Portland?

Do they still have Emack and Bolios?

If you had, say, 3 children, might they ALL be giants? (asking for a friend with children who are way too tall)

Favorite sandwich?

Did you know that NOT watching SNL was WAY ahead of its time?

How bad was that cold snap?

Do you really think I'm going to come up with 47 questions?

More importantly, do you think I'll remember to check tumblr ever again? I kinda hope so!

When was the last time you rode the T?

Do you still reserve 30 minutes for writing every night? Or is it more now? Or is it less now?

17. This is question 17, right?

Did you get that Pomona lookbook link? Kristina (Foley) posted this:

19. Pretty awesome, right? :) Look at those two! :)

Nineteen is like 47 today, 'cause that's where I'm gonna stop. If you don't know who this is, you should alert the tumblr police.

20. Are there tumblr police?

This is delightful and I miss you. And also, you had me (knowing who you are) at 47. There was just no way it was anyone else.

And that photo is awesome. Look at us. And I haven’t done that lookbook thing yet, but if you are on there, I’m in.

And why DO they keep Boston so far away from Portland? It doesn’t make a lot of sense, practically. I don’t even know if Emack and Bolio’s still exists. I haven’t ridden the T for a couple of years, alas. D works in the city and so does not want to visit it during any of his time off. I still love it there. What to do? Go on my own, one might say. But who do I meet at Cafe Joy, if it is even still there?

My children are not all giants. Two of them are mighty big, with one of them being the tallest thing we have. The third one is smaller than I am by a couple of inches but personality-wise and power-wise, she is huge. She just did a semester in London where theater people with British accents trained her to not be afraid of her own power and to take up space. Now, watch out. I am so interested that your boys are giants. I miss them. They look like such nice people in the photos.

I read that some movie theater tickets now cost $16.50. No, they don’t! They cost $5 to me forever, because that is what you and I used to pay most of the time, I think. I haven’t been to a movie theater in a long time, either, but that is okay.

If God came into my house and started swearing, I would be delighted. And He would be in good company among my kids. Not that they are here. God could fill in.

How bad was that cold snap? Bad enough that I thought your thing about it, the one involving witches. It really was. I’m guessing.

Not watching SNL — that’s funny. I am still ahead of the curve in that department. Or right alongside the curve?

Favorite sandwich lately: Fake BLT. Well the B is fake. The L is real. The T is real. So is the mayo and the bread. Maybe I should call it a Mostly Real BLT. You?

I am not, I’m sorry to say, still writing for 30 minutes a day. I spend so much time and energy on the Globe work that I don’t have the oomph left for other creative stuff. I’m milked! But maybe someday I will do that again. It is a good way to keep going.

I am really touched that you would make an account just to see my work. You can do that here, because then I might be able to see that you have seen my work. OR I also post all my stuff on my website, which is just my big old three-car train of a name plus the dot com. Or you can ignore my work altogether. As long as you are my friend, I don’t need anything else from you. I’m so glad you are my friend.

I send you and your whole crew love. Thank you for making me happy by making this account and writing me so many questions, atrociousphish. Would know you anywhere by any name! Or, you know, by one number.

[quoteoftheweekblog]

ELIZABETH JANE HOWARD - 'THE BEAUTIFUL VISIT' (FIRST PUBLISHED 2021)

First sentence:

'I woke because the fur wrapped round me had slipped off my feet which were cold.' (Howard, 1993, p.7).

On thinking:

'My thoughts were like shillings in a pool, glittering and blurred, shimmering to the groping finger and always deeper and more elusive, until you think that perhaps there isn't a shilling at all, it seems so far out of reach.' (Howard, 1993, p.22).

On life:

' "Life for women is terribly unfair, you know." ' (Howard, 1993, p.37). ' ... she could sew and read and go to church, and for walks ... ' (Howard, 1993, p.82).

On reading:

' "You can't read all day." ' (Howard, 1993, p.40). ' "I hardly ever read. It depends whether you need it." ' (Howard, 1993, p.42). ' "You've been reading the wrong sort of books." ' (Howard, 1993, p.91). 'One could not manage with any one book on a desert island.' (Howard, 1993, p.173).

On 'Pride and Prejudice':

' " ... you write me such an enchanting Collins ... " ' (Howard, 1993, p.72).

On World War I:

' "Some Archduke or other has been murdered at ... Sarajevo. That's it. Sarajevo." ' (Howard, 1993, p.131). ' "Nobody wins a war nowadays. There is no end to it." ' (Howard, 1993, p.162).

On art:

' "The most extrordinary thing about painting is the way everyone who sees any picture assumes you are showing it to them solely for the purpose of benefiting by their destructive criticism." ' (Howard, 1993, p.156). ' "Good artists are seldom good at talking about it; they simply get on with the job." ' (Howard, 1993, p.327).

REFERENCE

Howard, E.J. (1993 [1950] ) 'The beautiful visit'. London: Pan.

[catastrophiczelie]

Hellooo :D ,

I am back and I have been thinking about ,"What makes me want to live?"

And I know most of us think about this all the time but I really want to dive into this question. So in the next seven days I am going to come up with 7 major aspects of my life that make me want to go out there and live .Really and truly .L.I.V.E

No.1.FRIENDSHIP

I remember her pulling her quilt over her head and switching off the night light as well.She hated its eerie glow .We were bedside partners and I was a terrible person to be partnered with.Almost always my clothes would be dumped on her bed and I made a mess around mine when I caught a cold .But she put up with all of that .I have no clue as to why she did it .Being kind to me did not help her in any way ,what is more it might have just added to her burdens .Well !Waking me up at 4am even though her exams were a fortnight away just so I would not  flunk my physics paper .Waiting for me as I rush out of the bathroom with my hair dripping wet even though the bell had already rung and we were both running late .Giving me her clothes and notebooks and pens ,even though I would lose them all and probably never return them.Getting me birthday presents to arranging my cupboard when she couldn't stand the mess.Calling me during the holidays even when my sole purpose was to simply distance myself from school .Taunting and nagging my shabby looks to scolding me for slackening my academic exercise. She has been a great friend all along  and I did her injustice by comparing her to another friend I had previously lost .I nullified all her contributions to just please the one person who would be pleased by all but me .I did not see her then but I see her now .I underestimated her then ,but I ain't ever doing it again .

My friends give me a reason to exist.

Signing off,

Zèlie Maidenhair

221B

Baker Street, London(yeah,still living there)

Until we meet again.....

[archiveikemen]

William Rex 1st Birthday Campaign: Story (2023)

His POV

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Warnings and FAQ

Contains spoilers from William's main story

The sound of Kate playing the piano reverberated through the air — and the music piece soon came to an end.

William: Was that my first present?

I asked while waving the card I found on my bedside table this morning that said “come to the Grand Hall”.

Kate wore a smile as beautiful as a flower.

Kate: Yup, but there’s more. I hope you’ll look forward to them.

Kate: — Happy birthday, Will.

My first ever birthday wish was engraved in my mind.

It was a sweet and beautiful memory that soon turned into a poison.

– Flashback Start –

Kate: You must've had tons of amazing birthday celebrations up till now.

That day, Kate apparently heard from Victor that my birthday was coming soon. She frowned, slightly nervous.

Kate: Which celebration was most memorable to you?

William: Most memorable? Let me think…

William: There was a year when a mission fell on the same day as my birthday, so I had the target sing me a happy birthday song before being executed.

Kate: … I’ll be sure to write that one down in my next report as one of your most villainous episodes.

William: Ahaha, please do, Miss “Fairytale Keeper”.

William: But why did you want to know that?

Kate: I’m thinking of ways to celebrate your birthday.

Kate: … I thought it’d be nice if I made your birthday memorable.

(... Memorable, huh.)

Kate was someone who was willing to lose her life in order to protect me.

I would never let her die so easily, but who’s to say that fate would not take her away from me the next day?

Perhaps, that was why every day and every second, she always tried to love me with all her body and soul.

(I guess that feeling is especially strong because it’s my birthday.)

William: We can celebrate it however you like. That way, it’ll be most memorable to me.

Kate: … Really?

William: Yes, of course.

(After all, I’m looking forward to receiving your birthday wishes.)

I decided that I would no longer reject her self-indulgent love that was given to me by her free will.

I wanted to enjoy every last moment of it.

(Ah… I just had a great idea.)

William: … I need an accomplice.

Kate: Hm?

William: Nope, nothing.

Kate: Ah, right. What’s the date of your birthday?

William: — In a week’s time, Kate.

– Flashback End –

After playing the piano, Kate held something out to me and said it was a present.

(... An umbrella?)

On the umbrella’s handle was the same card as the one I saw on my bedside table.

“Don’t get drenched in the rain with anyone besides me”.

William: What’s this?

Sensing her adorable possessiveness, I smiled and tilted my head.

Kate: Um… getting drenched in the rain with you can make anyone go crazy… so this is just in case!

Kate’s ears turned red as she mumbled something that didn't really sound like she was making excuses.

I found it hilarious that she thought I’ll ever be swayed by others.

There was no one else I would rather be in love with, than the woman who was soaked in red on that night at the Tower of London.

… But I didn't say that to her directly.

And of course, it was because Kate was becoming more and more self-indulging as the days went by.

William: Since it's a request by my dearest, I shall be extra careful about that.

Kate: … Please do.

William: What else should we do to celebrate after that wonderful performance and present?

Kate: Let’s go on a date. It’s been raining non-stop since this morning, so we shall put that umbrella to good use.

William: … It’s not okay to get drenched in the rain with you?

Kate: Huh…!?

Kate: T-That’s… um… saved for the end of our date.

William: Fufu, I see. For the end, hm.

Kate: L-Let’s get going…!

…

In the end, the rain had stopped by the time our date ended, so we couldn't get drenched as planned—

Kate said “I’m going to tell you why there was no dessert at dinner” and playfully led me away by the hand, like a little girl hoping for her prank to be a success.

Awaiting us back at the castle was a strawberry tart hat Kate had baked early that morning with Victor’s help.

Stuck into one of the bright red strawberries was another card.

(“Eat me”?)

It was a very bold invitation. Usually, I would suspect that it was Victor’s idea.

However, judging by everything that had happened that day… it was definitely Kate’s own idea.

William: Does “me” refer to you or the tart?

Kate: … Both.

Kate gave a single worded response and looked away.

I couldn't contain my laughter when I noticed that the tips of her ears were as red as strawberries.

I was sure that she fought her feelings of shame to write that, just to make it “memorable” for me.

(Kate is truly so adorable.)

William: Is this the last of your self-indulgent cards?

Kate: … Yes.

Kate: I thought that nothing can go wrong if I used cards… and that you’ll definitely remember this day whenever you look at the cards.

Kate: Even when I’m no longer with you.

Those cards served as a symbol of my beloved’s love and well wishes.

The day I would hold her lifeless body in my arms — would be the most horrible poison to me.

William: I see… thank you. It's a splendid present.

Kate smiled ecstatically.

It was a beautiful, attractive, and ephemeral smile that only someone who has accepted her impending demise could wear. I burnt that sight into my memory.

By the time I finished eating the strawberry tart — “today” was coming to an end.

William: Ah, I almost forgot. I have a present for you too.

Kate: Huh?

William: It’s right at your feet, next to your chair.

Kate quickly peered under the table and her face lit up, eyes twinkling.

Kate: … W-Was that a magic trick?

William: Yeah, I learnt it from Victor.

I shan’t let her know that the delicious aroma of baked goods I smelled this morning had given her surprise away.

I didn't see the need to disappoint her by revealing that her surprise was, in fact, not a surprise.

Kate: But it’s your birthday, why did you give me a present…?

William: To thank you for today.

I gently took the hair accessory from her hand and walked around her chair to stand behind her.

As I had expected, the hair accessory looked beautiful on her.

Kate: Thank you… I’ll cherish it forever.

Kate looked at me fondly while touching the hair accessory with her fingertips to check its placement.

Kate: The day is ending soon…

Kate: … Do you think this day will be memorable to you?

William: Yes, of course — however…

William: It’s still a little too early for this day to become only a memory, don’t you think?

I sat on the table and held the “eat me” card between my lips.

William: … Hm?

Kate: …

As always, my little robin was quick to catch on.

Kate got up from her chair and took the card from my mouth.

She pressed her lips to mine.

Kate: Mm…

Kate didn't resist when I drew her in. Instead, she straddled me in a naughty way.

William: … Fufu, you’ve become a very bad woman.

Kate: Yeah… all because of you.

Kate cupped my face in between her hands.

The pleading look in her eyes was oozing with passion.

Kate: I want to celebrate the day you were born, as much as you want me to.

Kate: One day will never be enough for that, but… I want to do that until the very last minute of the day.

Kate: I want to make myself a permanent part of you.

(No matter how expensive the present, or how enjoyable the party…)

(Nothing can ever compare to her expressing her desires.)

I shivered from the excitement I felt at the very core of my body.

She sensed it and the passion in her gaze grew stronger.

We kissed again and again.

The way Kate desperately tried to love me with her entire being, despite her inevitable death, was enough to move someone to tears.

It was like we were running away from the end of my “birthday”, rushed by the time on the clock ticking past.

(... Should I tell her now?)

William: Kate… there’s something I haven't told you about.

Kate: Mm… what is it…?

William: Actually— my birthday is tomorrow.

Kate: … What?

Kate paused, her breathing ragged.

The seductive facial expression she had just a while ago turned into a surprised one, I couldn't help but smile at how endearing it looked.

William: One day is not enough for me to enjoy the well wishes from my beloved.

William: … Because I’m selfish.

Kate: T-Then… today isn't your birthday or anything…?

Kate: Huh? But Victor and the others said that your birthday is today…

William: I selfishly got them to cooperate with me.

There could have been no better accomplices than the members of Crown.

William: A memorable plot twist, isn't it?

Kate: … Pfft, ahaha!

Kate burst out laughing and nodded happily.

Kate: Yeah… I was just thinking that a day wouldn't be enough.

Her laughter was beautiful, like she was single-handedly gathering all the happiness that could be found in the darkness.

William: Can I make my first request for my second birthday celebration before the day ends?

Kate: Of course… what is it?

William: There’s a dress in my room that would go really well with that hair accessory.

Kate: …!

William: My first request is for you to wear that… and let me love you.

Kate: … I’d love to.

At that exact moment, we heard a bell sounding in the distance.

We looked at each other and laughed.

Kate: Once again… happy birthday, Will.

Nothing could ever make me happier than hearing those words of blessing from her lips.

[talentforlying]

had a second to get over my babygirl brain rot, and like. there is simply so much to be said about the beast of eden arc. it was an extremely complicated moment in time for everyone involved in it.

like i'll shake my fist at the other maguses all i want for abandoning constantine once they realized what had happened & not even granting him the grace of having been manipulated for months, by multiple people, including the spirit of gary lester (hell of an emotional pressure point!!) but if we look at it solely from their perspective, in the single narrow lens of absolute shock that they were seeing through: constantine had just involved them in freeing an ancient creature intent on and fully capable of bringing the apocalypse. he convinced them to literally doom the world with him.

not only were they absolutely right to be furious, they also Did have other priorities to consider! he gathered the most powerful people he could find, they had to go back to their own spheres of influence and start trying to mitigate the damage! at the time, they had no way of knowing if the beast could even Be defeated, so why stick around and try to figure it out when they could be trying to help the people they were responsible for protecting?

constantine, out of anyone, had the fewest roots put down anywhere. he would Be the one with the time on his hands to think and plan and try to fix things. and i think he understood that, and didn't hold it against any of them in the end for why they ditched him. god knows he blamed himself for falling for the beast's tricks and getting a whole lot of other people involved in making it worse.

but in the end, what it looks like is this: he makes a mistake, a titchy human tricked by the first evil ever designed for the purposes of tormenting man, and the only people who might have been able to help him fix it upped and left him. in trying to fix it alone — and succeeding, mind you — he's almost killed, his memories are wiped, he's hounded through london by enemies he doesn't remember, he's almost burnt alive, he's manipulated into giving up a day of his life that gets stretched out into the mental equivalent of forty years, and when he finally has his memories back and is finally left alone, his friends and sister are murdered by the person who stole his life.

so yeah, from constantine? fuck those guys. complicated issue in which everyone has a right to be angry with each other and a reason to have done what they did, but fuuuuuuck those guys.

something something john constantine always either being people's personal jesus or judas, but almost never just a person. acting as all three because it's the part he has to play, but never given grace for it. being left behind when he makes mistakes so often that at a certain point he just stops being able to reach out to people for help or assistance entirely.

[an-aroaces-harem]

Ellis Twilight Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Ikemen Villains belongs to Cybird.

Another note: I know Ikemen Villains is set in victorian London, but I will use the japanese suffixes because I prefer them.

We heard about a kidnapping incident.

In exchange for information, I was asked to help with the performance.

Kate: I understand. I will cooperate.

Man with flashy hat: Are you sure? Thereʼs no guarantee that Iʼll be 100% successful, right?

(But by the time he came to me and approached me with a negotiation, I must be confident that Iʼll succeed.)

However, the performance is a one-time deal.

As he said, 100% success is impossible.

(If you are willing to accept that and surrender yourself, Iʼll tell you. This person is testing us.)

(In that case …)

Kate: I believe in your skills.

I suppressed my fears and smiled broadly.

Ellis: …

Performer with flashy hat: … Ahaha! If you can come, Iʼll just have to do my best!

He grabbed my and Ellis-kunʼs hands.

We shook hands to confirm the deal. I looked up at the sky, resisting the urge to run away.

(I will succeed somehow and get the information …!)

When the male performer, Bill-san, got on stage, he used us to his advantage and put on a performance.

Bill: If the knife goes into the apple on your head, please give me a round of applause!

What I had feared did not happen, and the knife throwing technique was performed brilliantly and decisively.

Each time, the venue was filled with applause and cheers

And the final trick was …

Bill: Ah! What the heck! A magic chain has become entangled with the lovers!

Ellis-kunʼs left and my right hand were tied with a chain.

(What, what …!?)

Bill: Now, hold each otherʼs hands tightly.

Ellis: Itʼs okay …

In contrast to me, who was really nervous about the situation that wasnʼt talked about in the deal, Ellis-kun calmly smiled and said this.

As if to reassure me, he held my hand tightly.

Our fingers intertwined in turn, and my palm lined up perfectly against his.

Ellis: Itʼs okay. … Even if something happens, Iʼll take care of you.

Kate: Ellis-kun …

Bill: Two people bound by magic chains, unable to move …

Bill: When the spell on this chain is broken, will true love exist between these two?

The venue heated up as we got close to each other on stage and Bill-sanʼs sensational speech.

Bill-san snapped his fingers and it clicked …

(…!)

The chain that was tangled around our wrists fell to the ground with a thud …

… between my and Ellis-kunʼs overlapping hands, a beautiful lilac flower was blooming.

Ellis: Ah.

Kate: Amazing!

Of course, it was my first experience to see flowers suddenly blooming from my empty hands.

My eyes widened at the vivid magic trick, and I ended up looking at Ellis-kun.

Bill: Please take a look! The flower of true love blooming between two people!

The audience erupted in cheers.

Bill: A big round of applause from everyone to the lovers who proved their love!

Audience: Bravo!

Audience: Propose!

Ellis: … So. Do you want to?

Kate: As expected, I donʼt think you need to respond that much …

Even after the chains were broken, Ellis-kun still held my hand …

(My cheeks are hot …)

I tried to explain to myself that my heart was pounding because of the excitement of the stage success.

I bowed deeply at the end, holding hands with Ellis-kun.

When Bill-sanʼs stage curtain came down safely, he stepped off the stage.

Kate: Wow … ah!

Suddenly, my whole body lost its strength and I collapsed against a firm body.

(Well, my legs are shaking now …)

Ellis: … Kate-san, are you okay? Are you hurt somewhere?

Kate: Iʼm okay. I feel relieved and then my legs gave in …

As I put my hands on my trembling knees and smiled, Ellis-kun bent down to look at me with a surprised look on his face.

Ellis: And you were so full of yourself before we started?

Kate: Of course. I knew Bill-san was confident in his skills.

Kate: I thought that even if he failed, he would somehow be able to get through it!

Kate: Ah … thatʼs good …

With a sigh, I let out the fear I had stored up.

Ellis: …

Looking at me like that, Ellis-kun slowly loosened his worried expression.

Ellis: … Youʼre a hard worker.

Kate: Huh? Thatʼs not true.

Ellis: Yes, it is.

Ellis: Kate-san is a wonderful person.

… I found out something.

(Ellis-kunʼs words have no double meaning, which is why he is adored by everyone so much.)

Pure words with no added value reach straight to the heart.

(… I still canʼt get used to having our faces so close though.)

Kate: Thank you …

I was embarrassed to make eye contact, so I lowered my head while saying that.

Bill: Wow, you two are the best!

After finishing his closing remarks, Bill-san came running up to us.

Bill: Wouldnʼt it be better to become a street performer? Especially the tall guy.

Ellis: Iʼm glad it was a success.

Bill: How about this cheer?

The sound of finger whistles and applause coming from behind the stage naturally made me relax.

Kate: Iʼm glad they liked it.

Bill: Right? Every time I have a successful show, I feel like this might be my happiest moment. I donʼt care if I die right now!

Ellis: …

… Ellis-kunʼs eyes stared at one point and stopped at him.

Bill: But when I wake up after drinking to celebrate, I think “No, I can make something even better!”

Bill: Iʼm going to see more of the world I havenʼt seen yet!

Kate: Hehe, youʼre your own enemy. Iʼm rooting for you too!

Ellis: …

For some reason, the profile of Ellis-kun looking at Bill-san at that moment had a sad look about him.

(Ellis-kun …?)

Ellis: … I hope you feel like this all the time.

Bill: Oh, thatʼs right! And your reward for your trust and cooperation was information.

(…! Thatʼs right, we have to ask about the kidnapping incident.)

Remembering my mission, I suddenly become stiff.

Kate: Yes. Could you please tell us the stories of your friends who have experienced this?

Bill-san smiled and slowly opened his mouth.

Bill: I lost contact with several of my friends, including the two who disappeared today.

Ellis: … When was that? Did you notice anything in common?

Bill: The timing is different. Two today. Before that, one a few weeks ago, one a few months ago.

Bill: I donʼt know if they have anything in common, but I heard that they were drinking with a girl before they disappeared, and that they were talking strangely.

Kate: Talking strangely …?

Bill: He said he was recruited to the ‘circus’.

(Circus …?)

Bill: The person who recruited them seemed like a senior who was very active in the past.

Bill: I was thinking of hearing his story, thatʼs the last thing I heard.

Ellis: Is there anything you know about this very active senior?

Bill: The story is from about 20 years ago, he made a big hit and became very rich, but as far as what his name is …

Bill-san didnʼt know any more … We thanked him and took our leave.

Kate: Itʼs not much but we got a hint.

Ellis: Yeah. Iʼm glad it was worth the effort.

Ellis-kun smiled and gently put the flower of love that was born on stage behind my ear.

Ellis: … Yeah, it really suits you. Cute.

(Ah …)

The performance earlier could have been seen by the people who were talking to Ellis-kun.

Some of them may be in love with Ellis-kun …

One of them may be the person Ellis-kun falls in love with.

(We will probably continue to work together from now on.)

(If Ellis-kun behaves like this, the people around him might misunderstand him.)

Kate: Ellis-kun. You should only do things like that to people you like.

Ellis: … What do you mean?

Kate: Talking like this, putting flowers in hair, calling them cute.

Ellis: Kate-san, arenʼt you happy?

Kate: Thatʼs …

I was at a loss for words as I was stared at by those pure eyes.

Kate: … Iʼm happy.

Ellis: Iʼm happy.

Ellis-kun, who heard my reply, also had a happy smile on his lips.

Ellis: If it bothers Kate-san, Iʼll try to not act too much like a lover.

Ellis: If I wanted Kate-san to laugh, I might do it again.

Ellis: If you donʼt like it, let me know then.

(Ellis-kun … Ellis-kun is …)

He might be an incredible person.

If someone continued to be showered with such overly sweet jam-like kindness, Iʼm sure anyone would drown.

(B-be careful … Iʼm sure Ellis-kun is like this to everyone.)

(If I fall in love with him because I misunderstand him, Iʼm sure heʼll be in trouble …)

I warned myself not to take Ellis-kunʼs words and actions seriously.

Kate: … I understand. When that happens, Iʼll make sure to let you know.

(Thereʼs no way Iʼd feel bad about Ellis-kunʼs kindness …)

I decided to at least make sure not to misjudge the distance.

Kate: Then … should we join up with Jude-san?

Ellis: No, we havenʼt decided where to meet, and I donʼt think weʼll meet up.

Ellis: I guess heʼs planning to share information after we return to the castle.

(You know that without discussing it earlier … amazing.)

(Come to think of, why is he with Jude-san?)

(I didnʼt really hear about Ellis-kunʼs ‘request’.)

In exchange for Ellis-kun working for Jude-san, Jude-san grants Ellis-kun a request.

(Thatʼs why he said theyʼll be together until then.)

I wonder what he asked for in exchange for his labor …

(Letʼs ask again next time.)

For now, the kidnapping case is the priority.

Kate: Then, shall we return to the castle before nightfall?

As I was about to start walking, a long arm was stretched out in front of me.

Ellis: … Before that, why donʼt we take a quick detour?

Kate: Detour?

Ellis: Yeah.

When Ellis-kun closed his empty hand and opened it again …

… like a magic trick, a piece of paper with a beautiful design appears from the cuff of his shirt.

Ellis: Actually, I asked Liam to get it yesterday.

Kate: …! This is …!

It was a ticket to the stage show that I wanted to see so badly.

(And the date is … today!?)

Ellis: … Are you coming?

Kate: Yes!

Ellis: …

(Oh … I answered with way too much enthusiasm.)

Kate: If Ellis-kun doesnʼt have anyone else he wants to invite … I want to go.

Ellis: … Fufu. Youʼre such a cute person.

Ellis: I got them for the girl who said she likes going to the theater.

Ellis: So … I want to invite you, Kate-san

We talked about so many things, and unlike me, Ellis-kun didnʼt even take notes.

(He remembered what I like.)

Kate: … Thank you.

Ellis-kun was just as happy as when he heard the gratitude from the people in town, and he smiled.

Even though it wasnʼt an exaggeration, he was captivating by the immense power of that smile.

(Ellis-kun really likes to make people happy.)

Yesterday and today, I have been overwhelmed with joy by Ellis-kunʼs gentleness, which feels like being wrapped in soft cotton …

(I decided not to misjudge the sense of distance, but as soon as I let my guard down, my sense of distance would go awry.)

Ellis: By the way, itʼs almost the performance time.

Kate: Eh? … Right! We have to hurry …!

We ran through the streets of London, aiming for the theater.

I kept thinking that I had to keep a cool head.

My heart kept pounding like it was just before the curtain rose on a stage.

Kate: Ah, that was great … Iʼm so happy now.

Ellis: Good … Iʼve never seen such a relaxed expression on your face.

The time in the theater was like being in a dream.

As we walked along the road dyed in the twilight, my heart was filled with happiness.

(I managed to complete my first mission and even got to see a wonderful play.)

(Itʼs all thanks to Ellis-kun.)

(The day before yesterday, I thought I might die, but that seems like a lie …)

Kate: Ellis-kun, thank you very much.

Ellis: … No, donʼt worry about it.

The setting sun cast its last rays of light through the building.

Ellis-kunʼs face was turned into a dark shadow in the backlight, making it difficult to see his expression clearly.

A time when light and darkness are mixed together and the world seems to be wrapped in a veil, making it difficult to tell what you see is real or not.

(Even when I work as a postwoman, itʼs most difficult to see at dusk, which is a problem.)

When I squinted into the orange light …

Ellis: … Hey, Kate-san.

Kate: Yes?

Ellis: How happy are you right now?

I answered the question posed to me in the twilight with a big smile on my face.

Kate: So much I could end my life right now!

Ellis: … I see.

Ellis: Then how about I finish it?

⤷ next chapter

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Old Habits

Frank Adler x Reader

Chapter 7

Masterlists Chapter 6 Summary: Three years after she left Frank and Mary behind, Y/n returns to Florida for the wedding of mutual friends, what ensues may prove that like old habits, some feelings just don’t die. Chapter Summary: Y/n and Frank come face to face a month after their friends' wedding. Warnings- Angst

One month later.  Shedding her coat as she stepped through the front door, Y/n draped the camel colored garment on the coat rack while wiping off the wet soles of her shoes on the welcome mat. With a tired huff, she slid her bag off her shoulder and absently set it on the table in the foyer, discarding her keys in the little ceramic bowl next to it. Tiredly, she staggered through the front hall towards the living room, getting her phone out of the front pocket of her pale blue scrubs on her way there. 

Unlocking the device, she found that there was a couple texts from Amanda, who’d just returned from her and Jack’s London honeymoon, probably relating to the conversation they’d been having off and on throughout the day. Tapping the notification as she slumped to the sofa, kicking off the shoes in the process- sure enough, it was related to their ongoing conversation.

Just talk to him, please. You’re both miserable and maybe it can be good for both of you. 

I hate seeing my friends like this. 

Reading her texts, Y/n quickly conjured up a response, promising Amanda that she’d think about reaching out to Frank. The truth was though, she’d been doing a lot more than thinking about talking to Frank. Atlanta had stopped feeling like home ever since she’d returned from Florida and all she could think of was all the little moments they’d shared over her last visit. Everyday, lying to herself was getting harder.

She wasn’t okay without him- she never was.

Leaving- the first time and the second- was a mistake. 

More and more, Y/n was getting the sense that she should have fought for him, the way he’d fought for her the first time around. She should have caught him alone after seeing him and Bonnie in the lobby and confessed that she still loved him, and that even if she’d gotten through the past three years without him, it had been hell. He deserved to know that she still kept her favorite picture of their family at her bedside and that he and Mary crossed her more times than she could ever stand to count. 

Frank deserved to know that even if she’d wasted all that time pretending that she'd moved on, there wasn’t any length of time that could pass that would consequent her getting over him. 

As Y/n threw her head against the back of the sofa, her phone went off again. With a lazy sigh, she lifted the phone and glanced at the screen once more, finding that time, she had an email. It was a confirmation message from an airline, letting her know that she’d successfully booked a plane ticket to Florida. 

Now, all she had to do was figure out what she was going to say. 

Saturday’s usually meant spending the afternoon down at the beach. It didn’t matter how many times he and Mary had been there, she never failed to enthusiastically gather her bucket for sea shell collecting and swipe the sunscreen off the bathroom counter. Frank swore if she didn’t remember the sunscreen, they’d both just get awful sunburn; before she’d left, Y/n had always been the one that packed for the beach trips. A bag with sunscreen, extra water bottles, snacks and a little “emergency kit” was always her thing, though Mary had watched her do it enough times to pick up bits of it on her own. 

“Ready Mar?” Frank called from his bedroom, closing up the plastic buttons of his light blue button up before grabbing his sunglasses off the top of his untidily packed dresser and hooking them in the pocket of the shirt. 

“Yeah!” Just after she answered, there was a knocking on the door that was easily heard through their small abode. “Frank,” Mary called, her small voice etched with the purpose of someone a little older, “I’m getting the door.” 

“Do not do that,” he warned firmly, putting some haste into his step, Frank hustled out of his bedroom. Even if he did now have full and legal custody of Mary, she knew that answering the door was off limits, solely because of stranger danger. Tripping over one of her toys, Frank grabbed the nearby cupboard to stop himself from falling. Of course, like every other kid her age, the concept of putting away her things seemed foreign to his niece. “Mary, do not get-”

Upon reaching the front of the house, Frank stopped in his tracks, though it was not entirely because Mary had blatantly disobeyed him, but also in part because of who she’d opened the door to. 

“You’re back,” Mary looked up at her with big eyes, and swallowing thickly, Y/n gazed down at her. In silence, the three of them just stood there, and for a minute, Frank was worried that Mary would lash out the way she had when he’d gone to get her from her foster parents. When her reaction was entirely different though, he gasped. Instead of firing a slew of untrained punches, Mary flung herself into Y/n’s legs, reaching upwards to hug her hips. “Why’d you leave me?” 

Clearly surprised, Y/n sucked in a sharp breath before succumbing to her knees to reciprocate the embrace, “Look how big you’ve gotten,” she rasped tearily, smoothing one hand over Mary’s hair as she used the other to rub her back affectionately.

“I’ve missed you,” Mary said when they pulled away a little, though still holding each other. 

“I’ve missed you too, Wiggles,” Y/n pressed her thumb to Mary’s nose, and Frank easily recalled that both the pet name and the gesture had been little things between the pair. Mary had been such a squirmy baby, earning herself the nickname in just her first few months with him and Y/n, while the thumb on her nose had somehow become a little, sign of affection they developed in their time together.

“Mary, where’s your hat, go get your hat,” Frank swallowed thickly, taking a couple steps forward. He hated to break up their reunion, but having them reintroduced like that wasn’t right, Mary didn’t need to have her hopes built up only for them to be broken down again. 

And neither did he.

Looking over at him, she frowned deeply, “But Frank-”

“Go,” he urged, touching the top of her head before pointing towards the inside of the house.

“Fine,” she grumbled, begrudged. Folding her arms petulantly, she turned and marched inside, stopping when she was through the doorway to glance back at Y/n, “Don’t leave again, okay?”

Y/n sucked in a breath, managing a faint smile, “I won’t.”

With his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, Frank stepped closer to the door, waiting until Mary was safely out of earshot before speaking. “You shouldn’t have said that to her.” It didn’t take a rocket scientist to deduce that he was still angry about what she’d done after the wedding; made him think that there was still a shot for them only to disappear the next morning, as if it had all meant nothing. 

As she blinked slowly, Frank recognized the shine in her eyes as tears, and wrapping her arms around herself, Y/n sniffled, “Say what?” 

Frank scoffed, “That you’re not gonna leave, because that is all you do.”

“That is not fair,” Y/n argued, voice breaking. 

“But leaving without explanation, twice, was?” Licking his lips, he glanced backwards to the inside of the house, “Do you have any idea what you did to her when you just disappeared like that?”

“I......I know it must have been horrible for her, and I know I shouldn’t have come here like this but I wanted to talk-”

“Oh, so now you wanna talk?” Frank’s words were laced with venom and while he absolutely abhorred being mad at her, he didn’t think he could help it. None of it felt fair,  and if he was being honest, the whole thing was beginning to seem like a cruel game, and he’d been played one too many times. 

Y/n furrowed her brows at his furious question, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” She folded her arms defensively across her chest, she straightened her back. 

“It means that I thought things would be different between us after that night, but you skipped out on me, again and I cannot keep doing this with you.” “Well what was I supposed to do? Stick around and ruin your relationship?” Y/n huffed, tuning her face away for a moment before meeting his gaze again, “And for the record, I waited. But then you didn't show up and when I went down to the lobby, you were getting ready to leave with your girlfriend.”

Frank scrunched his nose, “Wha-no. No, that is not what you saw-”

“Don’t tell me what I saw,” Or didn’t see, in the moment, Y/n was not interested in specifics. 

“Fine,” now loosely mirroring her stance, he held her gaze, with his defiant pools of blue, “Then you misinterpreted what you saw.”

“What?” Suddenly, Y/n’s voice was quiet and Frank felt guilty for yelling the way he had.

“What you saw in the lobby was probably me and Bonnie breaking up,” he explained softly, ducking his head, “I just thought that if I came back to you with that whole part of it out of the way, you’d hear me out better. Even though you had someone else.”

“I didn’t have anyone else,” Y/n clarified quickly and Frank confessed to eavesdropping on her conversation during the reception, “Oh that….that was,” she chuckled dryly, “I actually broke it off that same night…..cause-”

“Got my hat, Frank!” Mary popped out from the cover of the door, sure enough wearing her hat with the front pulled down over her face a little. “Do you wanna come with us to the beach, Y/n?”

“You still go to  the beach on Saturdays,” wearing the first hints of a breathless smile, she glanced at Frank. 

He was about to respond when Mary interjected urgently, “Please Y/n,” she put on her best puppy eyes, “It’ll be so much fun.”

“Uh….” Y/n was visibly hesitating, “Only if its okay with Frank,” and just like that, she shoved the entire thing on him. 

Undoubtedly, his decision would greatly impact the rest of the evening. Saying yes would facilitate the opportunity for them to properly finish their conversation, and would obviously make Mary very happy. But Frank didn’t think he’d be doing right on her if he let Y/n continue to duck in and out of her life.

But Mary was giving him those eyes. The same eyes that led to them adopting Fred. 

“Alright,” he caved, secretly hoping he wasn’t making another mistake.

Mary had insisted that they spend some time together collecting seashells, and while she and Y/n strolled along the shore, where the waves washing the sand would touch their feet, pulling sand from under their bare soles as the water receded, she’d explained that she still put them in their special jar. It was a little habit Y/n had encouraged when Mary was a toddler; they’d go to the beach, sometimes together, sometimes with Frank, and gather any shell, sand dollar or small rock that was pretty or unusual and then put it in a jar they kept as a decoration in the living room. That used to be her favorite part of her days off. 

“Did you miss me when you were gone?” Mary peered, glancing up at Y/n as they slowly threaded along the shore. Her small hand held on tightly to Y/n’s, who couldn’t help but notice how much Mary had grown- seven was small, but not near as small as four. 

She couldn’t believe that she’d missed so much. Mary’s first day of school. The custody battle, which Amanda had relayed to her in great detail- it had broken her heart when Frank had relinquished custody of Mary and she’d been happy from afar to hear he’d gone back for her. 

“Of course I missed you, Wiggles,” Y/n licked her lips, easily recalling how many times she’d thought about Mary and Frank; the family she’d left behind and the life she still missed. “I thought about you everyday.”

“Then why didn’t you call?” She frowned deeply, stopping suddenly, “You just disappeared,” her lips were wobbling and it pained Y/n to know that she’d hurt Mary so badly. “I thought you stopped loving me.”

Abruptly, Y/n sank to her knees, not caring if her jeans got wet. Affectionately, she took hold of Mary’s fragile shoulders and urged the child to turn towards her, “I could never, ever stop loving you. Couldn’t even dream of it,” her voice broke at the end and she teared up a little, “It’s just….when I left…..I was really hurting, and I didn’t think I could take care of you and Frank the way you deserved. But that was a mistake, and it was not your fault.”

“It was a mistake?” Mary sniffled, using the back of her free hand to wipe her tear stained cheeks.

“The biggest one I ever made,” for a split second, Y/n glanced at Frank, who’d hung back near his truck, sitting on the trunk of a coconut tree that had fallen before they’d even moved to Florida, beer in hand and eyes cast towards the horizon. “And I’ve regretted it everyday.”

“And you won’t leave again?” She prodded hopefully. 

“Never for that long,” Y/n reassured. She’d already decided, albeit impulsively, that it was high time she moved back to St. Petersburg, she’d already started updating her CV so it would be ready to send to hospitals in the area and looking into apartments. Even if she and Frank didn’t get back together, Y/n wanted to be close to Mary again, if he’d allow it. “I’d have to go back for my things, but I’ll come back- and I mean that.”

Mary hesitated for a moment, before asking, “Promise?” 

Y/n nodded, pulling her in for a warm hug, “I promise,” she kissed the side of Mary’s head. “I should go talk to Frank,” she glanced at him again before pecking Mary’s forehead standing and dusting the wet sand off her pants, “But stay close, okay?” When Mary nodded, Y/n set off towards Frank, wrapping her arms around herself. 

As she drew closer, Y/n caught her lower lip between her teeth, secretly hoping he’d cooled off a little since their spat at the house. Upon seeing her trudge nearer, feet sinking in the soft, warm sand with every step, Frank lifted his elbows off his thighs and sat up straighter, taking a swing of his beer. “She missed you. A lot,” he gestured towards Mary with his bottle. 

“I missed her too,” Y/n dusted off part of the trunk before sitting on it, leaving about six inches between them, not daring to steal a glance his way yet. They were quiet for a while after that, until Y/n remembered what they’d been talking about back at the house, “I broke up with him because….I was only with him to forget about you. But its hard to forget you when you’re right in front of me. And he’s married.”

His head snapped in her direction and Frank took a while before responding, “Married,” he whistled lowly, “That is not like you….at all,” he might have been an authority on the matter, considering he knew her almost as well as she knew herself. 

“I know,” Y/n hummed, “I think that’s why I was with him,” she shook her head, “Because being part of me involves being with you. When I left the first time,” she bent her head to look at her tangled fingers, “It was because…..when I looked at you and her all I could think of was that part of our family was missing. We should have had our baby, she should have had her cousin. I was sad and disappointed and angry. I thought leaving meant I could get away from that. You know? Maybe a new place and new people would help me shake it off. But I lied when I said it helped,” she glanced down at the sand pitifully, “It didn’t, it kept following me. By the time I’d realized that I made a mistake, I figured it was too late to come back,” she sighed, continuing after a pause, “Then, when I saw you with Bonnie, I told myself it was definitely too late, I wished I’d waited a little longer though,” when she turned to him, she discovered that Frank was looking at her, brows knitted with intrigue and lips pressed together, “I’m sorry I left, both times. I regret it, and I miss you and I’d love if we could try again.” 

"I have thought about getting back together since the moment you left," Frank admitted, "I think....I think part of being me involves being with you too. I'm tired of being mad at you, I'm tired of wondering where we'd pick things up from," he exhaled audibly, glancing down at his bottle, where the short nail of his thumb was digging at the edge of the label and his words made her heart quicken. Was he going to turn her down? “I'm just tired of not being with you," Frank paused and Y/n held her breath, "Will you put your ring back on?” He lifted his head to meet her eyes and his question surprised her, though, Y/n knew her answer from the moment she registered his question. 

“I’d really like that,” she scooted closer, until her knee was touching his, “Are you sure it won’t be confusing for her?” Y/n nodded towards Mary. 

Frank huffed a chuckle, “The only person that wants us back together more than, well, us, is Mary.” 

Y/n laughed quietly, sighing contentedly when Frank casually slung his arm over her shoulders, “Are we back together?” She scrunched her nose, tipping her chin to meet his eyes, “Just like that?”

“I don’t see why not. Unless that’s not-”

Leaning up, she cut his words off with a chaste kiss on his lips, “That’s exactly what I want,” she smiled when they broke, "We have a lot to figure out, but I love you and I want this to work.”

“I love you too and I know we can fix this,” Frank kissed her again, and when they separated again, Y/n leaned her head against his shoulder. Though, the private moment of quiet was short lived when Mary approached them, handing Frank her bucket of seashells before taking both their hands and urging them up so they could all go walking again. Standing between them, holding both their hands, Mary led them down the gentle slope, towards the shore, occasionally jumping so Y/n and Frank would swing her playfully.

Just like that, they felt like a family again, and all the heartache from the past three years was muted; as long as they were together, they’d figure it out. 

*****

Tagging- @patzammit @dearmasaddict @swthxrry @flowerjewels @findthebeautyinbreakdowns @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @onenightnorth @royalwritersoftheuniverses @sn0wpiercer @elrw24

[ukrfeminism]

I had an abortion – and my experience shows how broken the UK system truly is

When she found out she was pregnant, Maya Oppenheim knew that, like thousands of women, she could face difficulties trying to have a termination. But what she discovered were problems at every stage of a process that experts warn is at breaking point

TW: medical trauma

I was squatting on the floor of the toilet in Westfield Stratford shopping centre when I found out I was pregnant. Squinting at the test, I initially thought it said “progress”, but on closer inspection, the word “pregnant” was flashing in front of me. Before long, another sign popped up, reading “2 to 3 weeks”, but that turned out to be wrong. In fact, I was far further along in my pregnancy.

As soon as it dawned on me that I might be pregnant, I needed to know for sure immediately. But as I marched through Boots, frantically asking where the pregnancy tests were, in my heart of hearts I already knew. With breasts so tender they felt like they had been inflated with a bicycle pump, and my period nowhere to be seen, there were few other plausible options.

One of the first things I did after taking the pregnancy test was to call my mum. Before I’d even got the words out, she told me: “I know what you’re going to say – I could see it in your face.” A million different thoughts hurtled around my head as I tried to remain calm in the most uncalm of places. It felt surreal to be standing inside a shopping centre while struggling to come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant, though there was something almost comforting about the indifference of the sea of preoccupied shoppers hurrying around me.

Sod’s law would have it that there was no escaping the subject of pregnancy that evening: I had to go to a family gathering, which included my cousin’s wife, who was eight months pregnant. I asked how bad her morning sickness had been. “I don’t know why it’s called morning sickness when it’s constant nausea,” she replied. Those words stayed with me in the days that followed, as my normally indefatigable appetite shrank and I entered what was, for me, uncharted territory.

The decision

I had known immediately, on that toilet floor in an East London shopping centre, that I wanted an abortion. Despite being in a relationship and wanting children one day, I did not feel mentally, financially or logistically ready for a baby. For the moment, work and a career supersede the desire to have a child. This will no doubt enrage the people who do not believe women should have autonomy over their bodies, or think women’s sole purpose is to be breeding machines.

However, I am not alone, with statistics released last month showing record numbers of women were turning 30 without having had a child. The data, released by the Office for National Statistics, showed that around half of women in England and Wales who were born in 1990 did not have a child when they reached 30.

As a women’s correspondent, I am all too aware that there are still many people with retrograde views on reproduction and motherhood. As the far right has grown emboldened in recent years, so too have anti-abortion activists. Populist neo-fascism often has misogyny at its core. Take a troubling report by charity Population Matters last November, which warned that more countries were adopting policies that coerce women into having more children, with “right-wing, populist and nationalist administrations stigmatising women who choose to have smaller families as unpatriotic”. The report noted that Viktor Orban, Hungary’s far-right prime minister, promotes debt-free education for women – but only if they have at least three children.

Having written dozens of articles about countries where terminations are criminalised – even in instances of rape, incest or a threat to life – I felt both relief and guilt that I live in a place where it is legal. I assumed that the process of having an abortion would be simple, straightforward and speedy. How wrong I was.

Struggling for an appointment

The same day I found out about my pregnancy, I rang Homerton Hospital in Hackney, the hospital in which I was born, to try to book an appointment for an abortion. Nobody picked up the phone, but I was placated by an automated message that promised someone would call back within 24 hours.

Those 24 hours came and went, but no phone call came. Unwilling to wait, I rang up the British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS), the UK’s largest abortion provider. “We are currently experiencing exceptionally high call volumes,” another automated voice said. I proceeded to stay on hold for 13 minutes, the soothing music playing on the end of the line having the opposite effect to that intended. In the end, I gave up and opted to send an email instead.

Two days later, I received a call from a man who told me I would have to wait three weeks for a phone consultation, meaning I would not be able to have the actual abortion until a month after requesting the procedure. This would have left me just a couple of weeks away from the 10-week cut-off point for a medical abortion, which involves taking pills. While abortions are extremely safe, it is better to have the procedure earlier on in the pregnancy.

The wait I was facing was at loggerheads with the NHS website, which stipulates: “You should not have to wait more than two weeks from when you (or a doctor) first contact an abortion provider to having an abortion.” The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE), which provides evidence-based recommendations for healthcare in England, says providers should “ensure minimal delay in the abortion process, and ideally provide the assessment within one week of the request and provide the abortion within one week of the assessment”.

The man on the phone admitted BPAS was grappling with massive delays, telling me they were receiving 1,000 requests for abortions a day. I stated the obvious – that this was a time-sensitive procedure and I wasn’t willing to wait that long – and he said I could have a phone consultation for an abortion a week later. However, if I wanted something sooner, I was told I would have to travel hundreds of miles to Doncaster or Liverpool for an in-person appointment. This was beginning to feel like a nightmare.

For me, someone in stable employment, it’s possible to travel that distance, but still difficult to juggle alongside a full-time job and the rest of my life. However, this would not be at all feasible for young women hiding their pregnancy from abusive parents. Or women facing domestic abuse. Or those trapped in precarious, low-paid work with an unforgiving boss. BPAS says access is a common issue across the UK, with some women even having to travel from Scotland to London for surgical abortions later in their pregnancy.

Katherine O’Brien, of BPAS, said the surge in women needing abortions was likely to be linked to the struggle to access contraception in the wake of the pandemic.

A recent study found that almost a third of women seeking long-acting contraceptives, such as coils or implants, were unable to do so during the Covid crisis. “Women are returning to normal life, but contraceptive support has not returned to normal,” Ms O’Brien explained. “At the same time as the surge in demand, there are unprecedented numbers of staff off sick, isolating, or ill with Covid, and this is an issue across the whole NHS.” One of BPAS’s abortion services was hit with a 700 per cent rise in staff absence due to coronavirus in the first week of January, when compared to the same period last year.

A gruelling journey

As crippling exhaustion left me struggling to do day-to-day tasks, the prospect of continuing with a pregnancy I didn’t want felt like torture. I found another leading abortion provider, MSI Reproductive Choices UK, which managed to get me a telephone consultation that evening.

During my telephone consultation, I explained I’d had a minuscule amount of discharge, which triggered a request to come in for an in-person appointment and a scan, rather than simply sending the abortion pills in the post. I was offered a consultation in Waterloo in central London a week later, but ended up opting for an appointment in the small Kent village of Aylesham, which meant I would be seen a few days earlier. My granny had unexpectedly died a couple of days before I’d found out I was pregnant, and I couldn’t face the prospect of being in too much pain to attend her funeral.

Even the journey from London to this unremarkable village in the home counties became a gruelling five-hour round trip. Fortunately, I had my boyfriend there to support me. As we sat in the waiting room, another woman vented on the phone about the fact that she had travelled for four hours for an abortion, yet would not be seen that day.

I was called in, and the nurse and midwife tried to carry out an ultrasound, but initially did not have any luck detecting a pregnancy. My immediate thought was, “Oh God, I’m not actually pregnant. What a waste of time and stress.” But deep down I knew this could not be the case. There was no mistaking the fact that I was pregnant, my mind feeling like it was trapped in someone else’s body. After doing another, substantially more intimate scan, they told me I was about six and a half weeks pregnant – far further along than I had realised.

Services on the brink

Having a medical abortion involves taking two tablets. Prior to the pandemic, getting the first tablet, mifepristone, required a visit to an abortion clinic. But after Covid hit, the government allowed the medication to be sent by post to be taken at home after a phone consultation, a system referred to as “telemedicine”. Those rules were due to run out on 25 March, with ministers taking a long time to clarify whether they would be extended. The government finally declared a six-month extension for at-home early medical abortion last week. But providers were incensed that they did not make the provisions permanent. About half of all abortions are delivered via telemedicine. BPAS notes that if the system reverted to how it was before, the service would be likely to see a 43 per cent rise in abortions being carried out after 20 weeks of pregnancy.

Jonathan Lord, of MSI Reproductive Choices UK, said abortion services are in disarray. “The whole sector is really struggling at the moment,” Mr Lord, who is also the co-chair of the British Society of Abortion Care Providers, told me. “We’ve had reports from across the board from all the NHS trusts we know of, and all charities, of unprecedented demand. As soon as things get a little less efficient, the gestation of women goes up, and more have to get surgical abortions, which are harder to provide.”

Surgical abortions also require operating theatres and staff, which have been hard to secure with resources diverted for the pandemic.

I took the first abortion pill on a train hurtling back to London, and was relieved to experience no side effects. If you throw up within an hour, you have to let the doctors know, as the pill may not be effective. That evening I did feel a little strange, but it was when I took the second abortion pill 24 hours later that the all-consuming agony hit: the worst pain I remember feeling in my life.

Intense pain

I chose to put the second pill in my mouth for 30 minutes, rather than the other (substantially scarier) option of inserting it into my vagina. The pill pretty much wholly dissolved in my mouth in 20 minutes. Before long, I was writhing on the floor in pain, with paracetamol and ibuprofen scattered around me. No matter how I positioned myself or where I placed a cushion, there was no way to get comfortable or escape the cramps. I must have gone to the toilet about 30 times in the space of three hours – partly as a way to distract myself from the deep, roaring pain.

While the nurse and midwife had been kind, gentle, supportive and calm, they had failed to properly explain how painful an early medical abortion would be. This is something friends who have had abortions tell me they also experienced.

Crawling out of the toilet on all floors, groaning and too plagued by pain to sit up and drink water, I kept wondering if what I was experiencing was normal. What’s more, the nurse and midwife’s warning that I must be on guard for severe bleeding had me a little on edge, after they said I must go to the hospital if I soak through two sanitary pads in an hour and blood is “pouring out like urine”. I even had a nightmare in which this happened. Fortunately, it did not happen in real life, but that did not stop me from incessantly checking to ensure I was not about to bleed to death.

But after three hours, the pain did abruptly subside; the feeling was reminiscent of a sea of calm after a violent storm. Despite the pain having gone, the next two weeks were to be devoid of fun, and filled with rules and a fair amount of bleeding. The advice isn’t consistent – I was told by MSI that there must be no sex, baths, sports or heavy lifting for two weeks. As well as no tampons or mooncups until the next period.

After the abortion, when I asked MSI if this was consistent with their wider advice, they said the guidance on baths was inaccurate and you only have to wait 48 hours. MSI also explained that they have no official, generic advice on how long to wait until you exercise, and their guidance on waiting to have sex has been reviewed and is currently being updated to “whenever you feel ready”.

While their advice felt perfect for me, it was completely out of sync with advice on the NHS website, which does state that you can “have sex as soon as you feel ready” – adding that “you can usually return to normal activities as soon as you feel comfortable to, including having a bath or shower, using tampons, exercising (including swimming) and heavy lifting”. BPAS, on the other hand, though it says you can have sex as soon as you feel ready, does not offer any specific advice on how long to wait until you exercise.

The aftermath

So how do I feel now, a few weeks after having had an abortion? Deeply relieved I am no longer pregnant, and massively grateful I live in a country where abortions are legal. But this relief is bittersweet due to my frustration, disappointment and shock at how poor abortion provision is in the UK, due to this critical aspect of healthcare being neglected by the powers that be.

The lack of attention abortion care appears to receive from politicians makes even less sense when you bear in mind how common abortions are. A record number of women in England and Wales had a pregnancy terminated in 2020, with the increase sharpest among women aged 30 and older. In 2020, just over 209,900 abortions were recorded, an increase from around 207,400 the year before.

“One in three women in the UK has an abortion, yet it is so stigmatised,” Ms O’Brien, of BPAS, said. “It is a standard part of women’s healthcare. Everyone will know someone who’s had an abortion. There isn’t a concerted effort to make the service the best it can be for women. The taboo and the stigma, and almost a view that women undergoing abortion do not deserve the best care, is part of the reason the government sidelines this issue. If telemedicine was a clear benefit to one in three men, do you think we would be having this constant debate?”

If you have been affected by the issues raised in this story, the NHS signposts to support through this page. Or you can speak to someone in confidence at the British Pregnancy Advisory Service, the UK’s largest abortion provider, by calling 03457 30 40 30 or emailing info@bpas.org. Or you can ring MSI Reproductive Choices, another leading abortion provider, on 0345 300 8090.

[eolewyn1010]

Newspaper article for a change! Lucy is up and about, minus one (1) immortal soul, plus an urge to drink the blood of several little children. Charming. I bet Renfield is dying from envy. So far, she hasn't killed any, but she lures or takes them away from their way home and nips a bit before letting them go. Clever of her to take very young children who can't give much detail beyond "there was a bloofer lady" (which I've read elsewhere means "beautiful lady", and I'll run with it). I think it's funny that they suspect a dog of biting the children, what with Dracula's doggo days... Not so funny is that Lucy is not all that concerned with how weakened she leaves the kids. Can't be long before she takes it too far.

Mina is meeting van Helsing. Beforehand, she tells her journal and us that she wants to learn more about Lucy's last days in this life, but also can't get Jonathan's journal out of her head and hopes some light can be shed on his experiences. What a neat concidence. Stoker, your characters are not clairvoyant. Then Mina allows us the tiniest look into her actual emotions - stress over all the shit that's been going down, nervousness over having let her still-not-all-that-well Jonathan out of sight for the first time since they married, grief for all her losses, confusion about the journal, guilt for feeling she hasn't done enough for Lucy and Mrs. Westenra - and has a good cry. God, don't I sympathize.

And... it was all about Jonathan after all. Well, at least Mina has a ton more words to feel sorry for him rather than for Lucy once her meeting with van Helsing is over. Not to speak of dedicating an entire paragraph to the latter's goddamn looks. Mina, I do know that a head is typically to find on the neck (and if not, it's probably Dracula's fault). And with the phrenology again. Anyway. Van Helsing asks for a full report on Lucy's somnambulism adventures; Mina takes the opportunity to brag about her shorthand, but once he's appropriately impressed, she tells him all that happened and they have lunch together. Van Helsing insta-crushes on Mina, can't blame him, and drops this queer-dreamy bit: "I [...] who have studied all my life men and women", so Ace Abe is officially Bi Abe now. He inquires about Jonathan, Mina pours her heart out, and Stoker gets in the obligatory sexism about how there are "still good women left who make life happy" (go suck on a blood blister, Stoker; I'd make you miserable on purpose!) and that Mina must take care of herself solely to keep Jonathan happy. I'm not having a good day to be graceful about this bullshit.

However, I'm here for Mina admitting to van Helsing that what she's about to tell him of Jonathan's misadventures is "queer". Heh, it sure is. I refuse to let go of this joke. Van Helsing gets the type-written copy of Jonathan's travel account, having promised Mina not to wave off all the weird stuff as foolishness. He asks Mina to see Jonathan on a date with him the other day after he has read through everything she has given him, and that very same evening, he sends her a brief note, confirming everything Jonathan has lived through as true. FINALLY! I think that's the first factual statement van Helsing made regarding this! Can we stop talking in "I have to be sure"s and vague speculations yet? He's also majorly impressed by Jonathan's sheer brainless balls on having survived Castle Dracula, having escaped from there, and having whacked the sleeping Count with a shovel. That's the type of guy who's immune to long-term PTSD! Trust van Helsing on that matter; the man's a doctor. Mina is relieved for half a minute that Jonathan is not hallucinating hardcore, then realizes the implications of Dracula being a goddamn reality just over in London. She invites van Helsing to drop by for breakfast as soon as Jonathan has come back next morning. I assume she wants to tether the polycule back together, now that the Lucy glue is missing.