#but i swear sometimes it's just intellectual laziness

[palmtreepalmtree]

I have zero patience for anything right now.

I decided to order tortilla soup from my local Mexican place because they make it with guajillo chilis and I thought it might help clear my sinuses.

I offered to order something for mom too, and she was just so weird about it, as if she had never been asked to order something before. She asked for two tacos, and then acted all overwhelmed when I was asking her what kind of tacos. There were literally only two choices to make - protein and tortilla type. And she said to me, "I've never had so many options!" I mean, seriously? You've never been asked whether you want chicken or carne asada tacos? You've never chosen between flour or corn tortillas? Like, come on, mom. This is not hard.

[simpxxstan]

svt + nerdy y/n!!

a/n: this is absolutely self-indulgent. i'm sorry if i'm writing slower than usual, i'm trying to get back on track!

sfw content. gender neutral reader and established relationship.

very mildly suggestive (pg13 audience only!). nerd here refers to anyone with academic interests or a general high level of interest in uncommon/niche topics. i've tried to make the concept of nerd as inclusive as possible.

seungcheol

not a nerd himself but will encourage you 100% to be a nerd- buys you new pair of glasses when your eyesight worsens, new documentary CDs and even membership of a hundred foreign journals.

defo has a sapiosexuality kink- you can guess how attracted he is to your intelligence. but he's the smarter one on the streets, so he'll take care of you in every way possible while you stay in your little geeky bubble.

it's always baby let me recharge your phone bill for you; baby please eat your meals on time; baby you can't stop drinking water because of exam stress; baby if you're pulling an all-nighter, call me over, i don't want you to stay up all night alone.

jeonghan

loving jeonghan involves so much cuddling and lazy time when you both just lie under the blankets, his head is on your stomach and your fingers in his hair. it's at these moments that he encourages you to read out for him and he hums along whenever you pause to check if he's fallen asleep.

but jeonghan draws the line sometimes. he is supportive- but only when you're not trading off your time with him for the sake of peering into books.

you can sit with me and solve bivariate normal distributions or whatever you have to do, he whines into your ear. but you keep tickling me and i mess up the calculations! he laughs at this, i can't help it if you're just so ticklish, baby.

joshua

three years ago, joshua would've laughed if someone told him he would be more interested in the latest discoveries of astrophysics than in who's winning the la liga matches. but here he is- successfully converted into a nerd entirely because of your influence.

joshua was ridiculously easy to convert. all it had taken was the shiny, lovesick look in your eyes when you'd ask him if he wanted to watch a documentary on alternate universe theories with you, and he'd said yes in a heartbeat. and then it had just been a spiral into the metaphorical black hole. and he does NOT regret it, as long as he gets to spend time with you.

josh is this getting too boring? you'd quietly ask after an hour of the documentary, guilty for being too absorbed in it to even look at your boyfriend and see how he's faring. but joshua is melting at your concern, so even if it was a little bit boring, he'll reassure you sweetly, not at all baby! this is so new and interesting!!

jun

yes he may be from china, but clearly you know more about his own roots than he does! whenever you're watching news, jun loves it when you fill him up on some quirky background info that he didn't know about, but adds so much value to the context of the news.

in awe of your academic capabilities and keeps bragging about you to everyone. feels so proud when he can contribute to something you're passionate about too. he CANNOT fathom why someone as nerdy and intellectual as you should want to be with him.

junie, you're so smart! you praise him after he reports a profit he's making on a stocks investment. he shyly giggles, not like you, baby. you shake your head, i may be book smart. but you're street-smart!

soonyoung

hyper and calm partners!!!! he used to get annoyed with how you would pore into your books all day and how focused you were on your studies, but now he sees the charm in it all. it makes you happy, and in turn, he gets to wrap himself around you and be as clingy as he likes.

he really tries to follow with your nerdiness, his enthusiasm is there he swears! it's just not his fault that his attention span is so low and he ends up staring at your lips more than actually listening to you.

baby are you even listening? you ask, pouting. it drive him even more insane and he ends up giving in to his instincts and kissing you. yes baby! i heard everything!

wonwoo

WILL BE GEEKY WITH YOU! i imagine the two of you sitting next to each other at a table, him focused on his games and you're focused on your studies, your feet in his lap, and you're both sharing the same cup of coffee.

he loves collecting pretty little diaries for you, because he knows you write little poems and trivia in those diaries. whenever he's out on tour, he's bringing a locally-made diary for you, and if possible, he customises it with your name imprinted on it too.

wonwoo, there's a new adaptation of pygmalion getting shown in the theatre! do you want to go watch? i want to take notes from this adaptation and write about it on my blog... you need not even explain so much, wonwoo bought the tickets already when you began to talk about it.

jihoon

feels so giddy when he comes home from work and the first thing you do (in between his kiss attacks) is tell him a new fact you learnt today in whatever is your latest obsession.

jihoon loves his personal space, so when he's found you who's equally fond of your personal space and interests, it's literally a match made in heaven. they say it'll put distance between the two of you, but it really does quite the opposite!

jihoonie, can you help me learn this table? maybe ask me randomly and i'll try to answer. jihoon wants to tell the table to self-destruct from the entire world because you're near to tears trying to mug it up. but he doesn't. instead he says, love, how about i make a song for you which simplifies this? like a mnemonic but nicer.

seokmin

man was too desperate to get out of school to understand why you choose to be a nerd. but it's hella cute, so he doesn't need to understand. he's obsessed with your quirky habits- the way you bite your lips when you're finding a topic difficult, the way your glasses slip down your nose and you irritatedly push it up again, the way you crave the hot chocolate he makes when you're under exam stress.

admires your smartness so much! WILL brag about it to everyone he meets. WILL bring up the fact you told him yesterday, in today's conversation with his members just to show off your smartness.

posts stories about you being so cute while working hard for your exams but it's just you with oiled hair, acne breaking out like hellfire, and cramming notes at breakneck speed (you don't talk to him for an hour after this, but he doesn't get why you're so embarrassed, he only sees cuteness.)

mingyu

another one who WILL be nerdy with you. mingyu's always been a curious boy- even as a child, he would be drawn into new ideas easily. nothing is different now, and mingyu sits with you often when you're studying, his hands often wandering to your shoulders to massage them, and bringing you a regular supply of ramen and snacks.

you have a habit of repeating to yourself what you read, so mingyu steps in and asks you to talk to him and explain the topics to him as if you're teaching him. safe to say, he gets VERY turned on after such mock 'teaching' lessons and eventually loses focus on what you're saying.

gyu do you remember that paper i wrote last month? yeah, it got selected for a journal. you say it so nonchalantly that any other person would think you're showing off. but mingyu knows how much it means to you, and you're only downplaying it because you think mingyu won't think it to be a big deal, as most academic snobs tend to do. but lucky for you, mingyu knows exactly how precious an achievement it is to you, so he shows his appreciation to you instead of merely saying it (by showering you with kisses that make you tingle all over).

minghao

OH oh. will listen to your rants with the sweetest subtle smile on his face. will buy encyclopedias and reference books for your mini library. will take you to speaker sessions, workshops and other such informative events across the city, even places you've no idea about.

the most ardent supporter you could have asked for, he is in awe of your mental capabilities and your intelligence. you both have a lot of quality time where you're just sitting together and doing your things, but minghao values it like no other activity in the world.

hao? there's a new parcel at the door. you call him when a delivery arrives and he's at work. open it. he may not be around to see your reaction, but he can sure imagine the grin that's bursting out on your face when you squeal his name into the phone on seeing the hardcover special edition version of your favourite collection of essays.

seungkwan

lots of wide-eyed wondering at why you would want to stay rooted at a spot and read books over playing badminton with him. he wants to complain that you've chosen your academics over him, but that'd be a lie, so he can only half-heartedly whine about it.

comes around to your point of view as soon as you start showing him documentaries (on animals living in the Himalayas, as per your latest obsession). it begins with him finding the animals cute, to eventually finding you cute when you animatedly talk about them. and once he's totally converted, it's fairly easy for you to convince him to help you with exams.

expect eye rolls, smug smiles and hair being brushed back nonchalantly when the questions he had asked last night from your texts actually matched with the ones asked in the exam. i told you, baby, he whispers in your ear. now i want my reward, you've been drowned in books for way too long and not paying any attention to your boyfriend.

vernon

it was a surprise to him as well when he realised he's got a massive sapiosexuality kink. as someone who's run as far away from the education system as he could, he doesn't even know why he finds it so attractive when you're being nerdy. but, well, he does.

he loves hearing you talk about whatever it is that you're learning lately, and sometimes something or the other catches his attention. and then, you know he'll dive right deep into it to know all about it, until his curiosity is satisfied.

nonie, what's the video you sent me? you ask him when you return home from uni. i wondered if you've watched this one. it explains the theories of why the harappan civilization disappeared so well. you can only smile at his enthusiasm, i bet you've been looking at conspiracy theories again, nonie. the guilty grin on his face says it all.

chan

chan listens so well, but you can't really blame him if he doesn't retain the information. he's elated simply to have you wrapped in his arms as you talk about what happened in your classes today, and his nose in the crook of your neck so he can smell your lovely scent. intermittently nods his head (just wants to rub his nose on the soft skin of your neck) and hums in agreement of what you just said (suppressing moans when he can feel your heartbeat quicken when he presses kisses to your neck too).

it doesn't matter what your new niche is, but he's indulging it. he admires your ability to stay focused in a field as demanding as academia, and he's all for you to go ahead with your interests and education as long as you want to learn.

you wake up to post-its on your forehead every day when chan has had to leave early for work: get out of the house and get fresh air. shampoo hair today, interview tomorrow. practice the introduction speech again. drink water and take vitamins. STOP DRINKING COFFEE. and you giggle at each of them, because they're all things you've tried to remember for yourself and forgotten, so chan reminds you like this, but his cute handwriting and the little XOXOXOs he's drawn all over make your heart melt.

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Red VS Blue, but make it Guild Wars 2

ok so i'm going to try and make this au make sense if you look at it from either side without prior knowledge of the other but theyre both so entrenched in my brain im not sure how well it'll work if you get lost im sorry in advance- or you can just enjoy the group piece and ignore the insane rambles below the cut! fair warning: its a lot! my red team yapping showing up in full force!

Don't say I didn't warn you :3

Context:

GW2 is a fantasy setting MMORPG, set in the world of Tyria. There are 5 playable races with their own unique cultures and such. I'm using the wikis for the races bc im lazy- the names are links to the proper wiki, but i've VERY ROUGHLY summarized for ease-

ASURA: The smallest playable race, Asura are highly intelligent and have a cultural focus on Academia and Research- furthering the reach of their magi-tech, sometimes at the cost of morals. Asura tend to be characterized as cocky intellectuals, who know more than everyone else in the room at any given time and they know it- but they're going to have a solution to a problem before you've finished explaining it.

CHARR: Giant anthropomorphic cats, the Charr are a militaristic race with a culturally cynical look on the world and a stubborn streak to match, and a general distrust of magic due to some Prior Circumstances. Charr tend to be characterized as gruff, fuck-around-and-find-out types, due to the military culture, and have more focus on their squad (warband) over individual relations.

HUMAN: On the surface, pretty par for the course here, but humans aren't actually native to Tyria- not that this stops them from being a cultural and territorial powerhouse in the setting. There is a fair bit of tension between humans and charr, and humans and some of the non-playable races in the game. Humans tend to be characterized as stubborn, tenacious and resourceful in a Tyrian context.

NORN: visually speaking, Norn appear to be giant humans, native to Tyria. Culturally speaking, Norn value honor and nature in equal measure- you should make a Legend for yourself, but you need to respect the Spirits of the Wild. Typically, norn are characterized as loud and boisterous, but reliable in a fight and always down to celebrate an impressive victory and share a story.

SYLVARI: The youngest race in Tyria, having only existed for about 25 years or so at the start of the game, Sylvari are plantfolk who Awaken from their mutually shared Dream as grown adults. The Dream gives sylvari the knowledge they need to function right out the gate, although the actual extent of said knowledge varies slightly by individuals, and is tended to by The Pale Tree (or the Pale Mother/Mother Tree, as sylvari know her)- sylvari follow a set of tenants given to them in the Dream that encourage compassion, kindness, and a drive to do what must be done called a Wyld Hunt.

__--__

RvB is a Halo machinima set in an appropriately sci-fi setting that is, above all else, fucking ridiculous. The plot, when it manages to exists in a semi-coherent fashion, focuses almost entirely on a band of absolute asshole idiots who cheat death as a hobby, swear a lot, and generally just would be unpleasant people to know but it is incredibly entertaining to put them into situations so that sums up the general vibe of the show. RvB is slightly less relevant to this au as the characters are what I'm yoinking and theyre all getting explained in their gw2 contexts here, but the main point is: the show is silly, and everyone in it is some brand of annoying, rude, mean, stupid or any combination there of. Also? Probably traumatized by war, whether or not they realize it. __--__

BORING STUFF OUT OF THE WAY ITS CHARACTER TIME __--__

THE GULCH KREWE - An Asura research team focused on making self sustaining golems. Technically Vic is the krewe lead, but he never seems to show up at their lab situated in the middle of no where for.... safety reasons. The official, documented by the asuran governement Gulch krewe is really incredibly small, at four asura strong, counting Vic even though there is quite a bit of debate on whether he actually counts since he's never around, but they have a reputation for being the worst krewe to work with. Ever. Of all time. Between reports of "unsafe necromantic practices" and general "workplace threats and harrassment", the only people who stay in the Gulch krewe have no where else to go. The "rank" nickname theme started mostly as a joke, but once it was started it was basically impossible to stop.

"Captain" Bucch Flowers - Asuran Necromancer - Asura, typically, do not have last names. Bucch, is not known for being the typical sort of asura. Eccentric and regarded as "morally questionable" by previous krewes, Bucch is a friendly individual who finds other people fascinating, both in terms of their psychology and physiology. He always has a smile on his face and a warm, cheerful demeanor that some people have claimed to be "unsettling", but I mean, really, he's just being nice. Right?

"Sarge" REDACTED - Asuran Engineer - Sarge took to his nickname with a brand of enthusiasm that really was just a warning to the kind of person he is, going so far as to have his previous name removed or changed on all documents he could. Loud, brash and unapologetic in everything he does, Sarge is the main "threat" of the Gulch Krewe between his wild experimental inventions, with their tendency to either go rogue against their creator or just plain blow up, his complete and utter lack of patience, and his habit of gesturing with his loaded shotgun during a conversation. His volume never drops below LOUD, but he's a very.. unique brand of genius who excels at making things that really shouldn't be physically possible work.

"Doc" Dufresne - Asuran Mesmer - Doc is, by all counts, the odd one out of the official Gulch krewe. Meek and empathetic in nature, Doc tends to be the moral voice of the krewe- one that often gets ignored. He is still annoyed by his ridiculous nickname, even if it is nice to have the affirmation that he really is part of the krewe. He's not even really a doctor! He's not great with medical care or technology. Or fighting. Or much of anything, if he lets himself be a little too honest. But he's part of the krewe, for better or for worse, and if that just means he uses his magic to pull his krewmates away from whatever is trying to murder them this week, then so be it.

The UNOFFICIAL Gulch krewe is a bit more.. diverse. Technically, non-asura don't get listed as krewe on the paperwork. They're hired help, not technically part of the team that gets credited for the work done in the published papers. Generally, this is because most hired hands don't have that much to do with the actual invention or research process- they're just there to be damage control when things go wrong. However with the Gulch krewe... a lot of things tend to go wrong. Technically speaking, there is no reason for a krewe of four three to have separate research teams. There is barely a reason for bigger krewes to do it. However... Captain Flowers and Sarge rarely seem to work on the 'technical' level of anything, and all it took was one offhanded comment from Vic (over comm, no less! couldn't even cause problems in person) for the pair of them to escalate and devolve into a rivalry that would ruin Doc's life, and the lives of pretty much everyone else who inevitably get swept up into it as well.

RED TEAM: Sarge claimed RED as his team color well before the idea of having color-coordination even occurred to Captain Flowers. Sarge claims he hired only the best to staff Red Team, with one exception for canon fodder.

Richard "Dick" Simmons - Human Elementalist - Born and raised in the upper ranks of human nobility, Simmons is a bit of a fish out of water when he's not in the human capital of Divinity's Reach. Of course, being an anxious individual with poor social skills, he didn't really fit in there either. He's got enough of the "I'm rich, you know," attitude held over from his upbringing that combined with a desire for praise, awkward conversation skills and the urge to prove his worth through his own intelligence, makes for a really obnoxious, know-it-all kissass of a man. But he's really good with technology, given his magic tends to prefer the buzz of electricity so that counts for something. Usually. He's not that bad once you get past the defensive nature and whiny voice. Probably?

Dexter Grif - Norn Warrior - With a hard earned feeling of "fuck it, fuck that, fuck this, I'm going to bed" that he trained into himself, Dex would have been perfectly content to spend his entire life lazing around his home city, Lion's Arch, scamming tourists and generally just kind of doing his own lazy thing. Or, at least, that's what he tells himself, as he has to look for actual work on the docks. It sucks. So when some loud mouth asura rocks up, shouting something Dex didn't really listen to beyond being a job, and a supposedly low effort one? Sign him the fuck up. But when the job is evidently not all naps and bored asura-watching, Dexter Grif will make his complaints known. Just... maybe not in range of Sarge's shotgun.

Donut - Sylvari Mesmer - Freshly Awakened, bright eyed, curious and endlessly talkative, Donut (Grif swears that can't be his real name, right?) is the Red team's resident socialite, sharpshooter, grenadier, portal expert and color coordinator. If you need something done, Donut is your man, or he can find you your man. While some people find his chipper attitude and love of 'dressing up' his friends with illusions annoying, and his tendency to veer into innuendos a bit awkward, everyone agrees it's hard to genuinely dislike Donut as a person. Maybe it's a mesmer thing, maybe it's a sylvari thing, maybe it's just Donut being Donut, it's hard to say. Despite his impeccable aim and frankly impressive throwing arm, Donut tends to be a little oblivious to the things right in front of him, but he's trying his best so most people tend to let it slide.

BLUE TEAM: Captain Flowers accepted BLUE as his team's color in good humor, as he tends to accept most things. He was not nearly as intense on his "requirements" for his team as Sarge- truthfully, most of Blue team were picked because Captain Flowers thought they were interesting more than anything to do with their actual skills.

Kaikaina Grif - Norn Elementalist - Kai has been called a lot of things, and not all of them flattering. Her personal favorites include sexy, wild, bodacious and "absolutely insane". She's a diverse gal. When her brother left Lion's Arch to go work for some mysterious asura in the middle of no where, Kai swore she didn't care. That lasted for all of a week, before she decided Dex was clearly up to something else and the asura job was a cover. Upon hunting her brother down and discovering, no really, it's literally what he said it was, she was disappointed. At least, until Captain Flowers offered her a position on Blue team. Being paid to stand around, look pretty, and bother her brother? Fuck. Yes.

Lavernius Tucker - Human Guardian - Growing up an orphan in Divinity's Reach makes a guy either really cruel or really clever. Tucker's never been the cruel type, so he went for clever instead. Though that quickly turned around to bite him in the ass, because being clever, and maybe a little bit of a smartass, means people notice you, and being noticed does not go well for him. Between at least one cult insisting he was some kind of savior from a forgotten bloodline, a jerk or three who didn't like Tucker outsmarting them or standing up for the people they were bullying, and whatever the hell is going on with his kid (courtesy of aforementioned cult), Tucker has more than had his fill of being noticed for being clever thank you very much. He just wants to find a quiet place to lay low and figure out this whole being a dad to a dragon thing. He's done being a hero and honestly he's done being helpful. Tucker's here to get paid, maybe get laid, and not get attached to anyone else that might screw him (or his kid) over.

Junior - Saltspray Dragon - Sort of a package deal with his dad, Junior is still figuring out the quirks and details of being a dragon in a society where 'dragon' is usually associated with the end of times, even for a "lesser" dragon like him. Fortunately, they're pretty solidly hidden in the middle of nowhere, so the only people around are friends of his dad's. Sort of. Junior is shy, generally, and tries to be careful with his size and his magic, but he's still a hatchling and sometimes it's real easy to get carried away when he's excited. Good news though! The Gulch krewe are well versed in shit breaking every other day, so no one gets too mad if something gets knocked off the shelf by his wings.

Church - Sylvari Thief - Some sylvari chose to cut themselves off from the Dream, in an effort to obtain either a sense of freedom from expectations, spite, or just a general desire for peace, quiet and solitude. While Church can certainly guess at his own, personal, reasons for becoming one of the Soundless, he sure as hell doesn't remember making the decision. Or much of anything, really, before about a week before he got hired onto Blue team. Just the name Church, which he can only assume is his name. He tells himself, amongst his internal tirades about his woes and his miseries, that Flowers hired him because he's smart and clearly the asura could see that. Not pity or anything like that. Still, it would be nice to actually remember literally anything. But Church doesn't complain about that- he's got more than enough things to bitch about from being part of the Blue team to distract his ego, his temper and his generally whiny attitude towards life in general. Who needs a past when you're surrounded by idiots?

Michael J Caboose - Norn Ranger- Never without his trusty arctodus companion, Freckles, Caboose is a joyful wall of muscle and hugs that frequently forgets that most people cannot, in fact, support the weight of him and his wolf-bear. Young and with no legend to speak of, Caboose is on a journey of his own making, to find friends that are just... so cool, everyone is going to want to hear stories about them! He just has the very very tricky job of remembering those stories. But hey, what are friends for, if not to help him when he forget a detail or twelve? And honestly, he thinks he found a GREAT group of friends here on Blue team. Sure they can be a little bit mean, but, Caboose has the heart of a skald according to the nice old ladies back home in Hoelbrak, and his heart knows when there's neat things

THE GOLEMS: The Gulch Krewe, official and unofficial, developed two more-or-less completely self-sustaining golems after splitting into their respective teams. They're not perfect, by any means, but they're certainly impressive to behold. Especially given that they both seem to be... well, people. That.. wasn't intentional.

Lopez - "Human" Engineer - Inspired by the dolls made by Tixx in the Infinirarium, Sarge chose to build a golem that looks almost human. His official logic claims that the more flexible build and increased intelligence allows for Lopez (Officially: L-0-PEZ - Lab-OH-Personalized Engineering Zoner. Sarge swears it makes sense. Red team is pretty sure he just made it up because he liked the name Lopez) to handle his own maintenance and upkeep, with improved head to body communication and modular independencies. The side effect of Lopez's "self repairing" abilities (read: his ability to take himself apart to put himself back together) is the fact that his body have very distinct seams, and he's prone to falling apart at them. His head coming off his neck is the worst and most common offender of this problem. Like most of Sarge's intelligent creations, Lopez has a sour attitude and very little respect for his creator. If you asked him, the only reason he sticks around is because it's easier to get his hands on the tools he needs to fix himself. That and no one else speaks Orrian since the continent and kingdom sank over 250 years ago. Well, no one besides Sheila.

Sheila - "Charr" Necromancer - Captain Flowers took a slightly more.. macabre approach to his golem creation. Made from the ethically and responsibly sourced bones of an anonymous charr donor (Captain Flowers's words), Sheila is a feat of magi-tech engineering and necromancy. Due to her... organic internal base, Sheila is much sturdier than your average golem for her size, and the necrotic magic that keeps her together and functioning needs almost no supervision, as it naturally drains minute fractions of life force from things around her, like non-sentient plants and insects. Though there are some... quirks, to be certain, but that's to be expected with such experimental magic! The days where she almost seems like a different person are most likely just her getting used to a shift in the magic, that's all. Nothing to worry about. Usually though, on her good days, Sheila is calm and patient, with a friendly attitude she seemed to pick up from Flowers, although somehow she's a bit better at reading a room than he is. She tends to be the most responsible and level head in the lab, which is fortunate considering she's also the biggest one there, excluding Freckles.

__--__

THE LANCER WARBAND: A tight knit charr warband, working outside of the charr legions mostly for decent pay and interesting jobs, the Lancer warband are skilled fighters, excellent hunters and all around impressive soldiers. Their one weakness? Their inability to get anything done without either a fight or fair bit of chatter (and the occasional argument leading to the fights) first. But once they've settled on an objective, they're nigh unstoppable.

York - Charr Engineer - By far the most laid back and easy going of the Lancer warband, York is the resident gunsmith, philosopher, mechanic and lockpick. If it requires nimble fingers (or claws, rather), York's got it covered. While he tends to be the chattiest of the bunch and that makes him seem distractable, York is often laser focused on his task- he just doesn't feel the need to act like he's focused. He's curious and honest in nature, and is always quick to come up with a joke to lighten a heavy mood.

Maine - Charr Warrior - Silent and deadly are the words most commonly used to describe Maine- not that they would ever come from him. Massive even by charr standards, Maine is brutal and efficient in a fight. By the time an enemy has seen his white fur, they're already screwed. Outside of combat, when it's just the warband, Maine still isn't a talkative sort of guy. He prefers to stand back and let the rest of them talk for him, with a few exceptions.

Washington - Charr 'Thief' (unrealized revenant) - Originally the 'cub' and rookie of the Lancer warband, Wash has earned his stripes as it were for his cunning adaptability on the field and his almost ridiculous good luck when it comes to survival. While he tries to be kind and compassionate when he can, he's more on the pragmatic side than he used to be, and he can't always balance being nice with being realistic. Still, Wash has a sarcastic streak big enough to give York a run for his money, and enough sharp wit and sharper knives to keep just about anyone else on their toes.

Texas - Charr Warrior - A bit of a badass, Tex is the Lancer warband legionnaire and easily the best fighter of them all. She's harsh, even to her own warband, but she cares more than she likes to let on. However, her temper tends to get the best of her, and she frequently works alone to blow off steam. The last time she left... she didn't come back.

South - Charr Necromancer - One of the twins, South is aggressive, impatient and vicious just as much as she is efficient with her magic. She's a survivor and despite her bitchy attitude and general disregard for the rest of her warband, she gets shit done. Maybe a little meaner about it than she needs to be but hey, it's done right? Who cares if a little more blood was spilled or if a few more punches were thrown than were strictly necessary.

North - Charr Guardian - The other twin, North couldn’t be more different from his sister. He’s gentle, understanding and tries to be a shoulder to lean on for anyone who needs it, not just their bandmates. Granted, sometimes this does get him punched, but his kind nature doesn’t stop him from giving as good as he gets. He’s a skilled marksman with a longbow, and his calm nature helps him keep a level head in a fight- useful, when you specialize in placing traps.

'Honorary' warband: When their Legionnaire, Tex, mysteriously vanishes, the Lancer warband is left fumbling in the wake. Fortunately, they have friends they can trust to help them get their bearings.

Carolina - Human 'Warrior' (unrealized Revenant) - not the step dad but the dad who stepped up Carolina has been a fighter and a soldier her whole life, or very damn near it. While not raised to quite the same degree of military as the average charr, her mother ran a tight ship of their home and after her passing, her father ran it even tighter. Her friendship with the Lancer warband started with a night of mildly drunken chaos with York, after which she kept in close contact with the charr. Intense in every factor, loyal, and more than a little competitive, Carolina thrives in combat situations that demand the most of her, which makes her a fast friend for the rowdy warband. Without Tex, the Lancer warband needed a leader, and Carolina stepped into the role of unofficial legionnaire as easily as donning her helmet. While comparisons between herself and Texas make her uneasy, she does admit she likes the feeling of being 'Boss' with the charr.

Reggi "Wyoming" - Asuran Mesmer - Reggi is a bit of an odd ball and a loner before he begins spending time with the Lancer warband. He enjoys a good pun and a bad knock-knock joke, but his disinterest in most scientific endeavors left him with little opportunities within asura society. So he left, took his humor and not much else with him, and has been something of a drifter ever since, more interested in taking care of himself above all else. While the Lancer warband may groan and scoff at him from time to time, they do work well with him, and even a selfish bastard like him needs back up from time to time.

[luwritesomething]

DAMIAN WAYNE HEADCANONS !!!

ah, love of my life. this man right here got me years ago into learning more about the batfam and now here i am. you can say it’s kind of his fault. anyways,,, no one asked for this but my brain did. 

requests are open! hit that anon button and tell me your idea!

warnings: swearing, hadn’t been proof-read.

damian’s head is a MESS. don’t get me wrong, the guy is a little genius, but imagine the chaos of languages he has -- arab, english, chinese, i’m a hundred percent he knows russian, urdu is nanda parbat’s official language... 

because of this (^^) he just sometimes shuts down and stays silent. he can’t even think.

he loves all animals but he can’t handle insects. jason found out, and damian bribed him with a collectors special edition of classical books. nobody must know his weaknesses.

he writes in cursive, i have no clues but also no doubts.

words are difficult for him, that’s why he talks the way he does -- so professionally, like he is from another age. 

can stand tim (in small amounts) but no longer they will always have an intellectual rivalry -- it’s probably more from damian’s side rather than tim’s.

he still feels like he has to hide that he looks up to dick.

damian searched what fanfiction was. he’s scarred for life now. 

he’s straight up bored of paparazzi. he’ll go lady gaga on their ass and stare at the ones that are hidden in a bush trying to take pictures of him in secret.

also he will go full cole sprouse on the people trying to take pictures on him while he’s walking through gotham (this means he will snap pictures of the civilians before they snap a picture of him. camera duels, that’s the name)

listens to A LOT of music. everything his siblings listen to, he does too. classical music is his favorite, however. (also enjoys jazz).

taking care of his animals and his duties as robin are his favorite activities.

doesn’t understand social media, but still uses it. he’s too stubborn to admit he’s bad handling that.

too lazy to figure out how to cook, but if he tried in the slightest, he would be an amazing cook.

damian is an incredibly fast learner. it amazes the fuck out of bruce how many new things he can learn in just one day. 

he grows to be an actually very kind person, but his snarky remarks and dry humor never disappears.

likes the addams family. what a surprise.

doesn’t get horror/slasher movies. he keeps getting bored and doesn’t react to the jumpscares. jason says he is dead inside, which everyone agreed on.

they don’t know (^^) that damian is making a superhuman effort to not kick someone when the jumpscares occur because this little guy has his senses to the maximum all the time.

can’t be bothered unless someone is being ignorant or trashing about his family. he’s the only one that trashes about his family >:(

texts like a grandpa but at least he knoews what’s happening (most of the times)

like jason, damian has been kicked out of the wayne family chat numerous times.

has an elderly person soul except for when he’s fighting. then he’s a vicious little shit-

plays piano. no, i will not elaborate.

will correct your grammar in a condescending tone of voice.

“don’t patronaze me.” @ everyone.

has general knowledge about a shit ton of things. and since he doesn’t know how to properly socialize (canon) will spill those facts in order to start a conversation during galas.

has threatened the police -- 10/10 will do it again.

damian couldn’t care less about gossip but since he’s a good listener he always ends up knowing the tea about  E V E R Y T H I N G.

cocky bastard. that’s it, that’s all i’m saying.

he has no idea how to handle compliments. it still makes him freeze whenever someone says he’s cute or has pretty eyes.

“no.” (damian’s answer every time someone calls him cute).

believes in soulmates and in love at first sight, not as a superficial concept but as a ‘i’m clicking and mystically attracted to this person rewardless of their looks’.

reads A LOT.

never as much as jason, and also he doesn’t just read like narrative books -- he reads those thick books about how to do things, biographys, and studies about subjects he randomly knows about.

barely sleeps, if he ever does. 

sleep is for the weak™

(^^) proceeds to randomly fall asleep during patrols or family dinners.

acts like a brat but he actually isn’t -- it’s so complicated to explain, i hope someone just gets it.

at 17 he’s taller than dick and almost as tall as jason. suck it, @ everyone who mocked his height.

jon kent is his Best Friend™

(^^) damian told me himself.

he’s very handsome (canon lolz)

no but like, i mean, he will actually be one of those men you think ‘good fucking lord, he’s handsome’

damian thinks selina is cool.

has a lot of anger and frustration inside. it calms him down knowing jason also has problems like those because it makes him feel more... normal.

because normal is something damian would have liked to feel if he hadn’t been conceived to be perfect.

he would love six of crows -- would really like kaz brekker.

secretly enjoys the ya genre, will never admit it out loud.

[fleetwoodmak99]

Getting High with Eric Draven Headcanons

Alright so I know this one might not be in popular demand because there are so many different opinions on weed but from personal experience I have never had any issue with it. In fact, it actually really helps calm me down. That doesn’t mean that weed is for everyone. Plus I feel like Eric would be a fun smoking partner and its the 90′s so why not. 

WARNING: (18+) Smoking, Marijuana (If you are using this, please be safe and responsible), mentions of smut. 

Pre-Death Eric 

Pre-death Eric would definitely be a stoner and for years too. He started when he a lot younger than he probably should have been. Kind of just diving into it to get through the life of a young adult.

When he meet you and saw that you too were a stoner than he knew he would be hooked on you. 

Oh course he was a little concerned when he see’s you can out smoke him. It hurt his pride a little bit but it was insanely hot, he had to admit. 

As your relationship bloomed, the two of you would have smoke sessions together more and more. Eventually, when he asked you to move in with you, he would want to be doing it almost every night. 

Naturally, he would respect you if you needed a break from it. Completely understanding when you would get upset and agitated from not having anything in your system for a period of time. 

But when the two of you smoked together, boy oh boy was it a ride.

Eric’s favorite thing to smoke from would probably be joints but only could do so outside. Its quick to roll and small to carry around but it stunk really bad.

So when you two are relaxing at home after a long day, he prefers to smoke from the bong. It was powerful and easier to control where to smoke went but it was large and a pain to keep hidden. 

Either way, Eric loved it when the two of you would have your special smoke time. 

When Eric is actually high, it is hilarious. You swear, he should take up a job as a stand up comedian because he always has something sassy and raunchy to say. 

Biggest thing to remember about Eric is he WILL get the munchies. So its important to remember to buy way too much food at the grocery store in order to keep up with the boys eating habits. 

Eric would definitely be more lazy than paranoid. Which is good because sometime you can become overly suspicious of everything when you smoke too much. 

He would sometimes just want to watch tv or work on his music. He would get too involved in whatever his was doing, almost ignoring everything else. 

Eric would be so clingy. Like this boy would literally latch himself onto you and refusing to let you go. You could fight all you want but you always ended up wrapped around each other.

The clinginess would turn into him being insanely turned on and probably wanting to fool around. He would be more tender with you, not wanting to overbear you with anything, especially if you continue to take hits of stuff the whole time. 

If you wanted to make love, then he would be the most admiring and giving lover you would ever have. If you wanted him to fuck you, then be prepared to feel it the next morning. 

Basically, Eric loves to smoke and smoking with you is his favorite thing in the world to do. 

Post-Death Eric 

Post-death Eric is a different story. His views on the drug would still relatively be the same but he would see it differently.

Definitely would be more cautious on when he’s high and who he’s high around. Only really being comfortable smoking with you. Not liking feeling impaired as much as he used to. 

Eric wouldn’t even want to smoke alone. He would get too paranoid about the tragedy he had experienced and be terrified of it somehow happening to you. Not that it would because he is always with you to make sure it won’t.

He would probably encourage you to take more breaks. Worried you would get sick or how it would effect your body in the long run. He sees things differently now about health after being dead and knowing what’s on the other side. 

Eric would push the idea of eating edibles instead of smoking. It gave you more of a high and you wouldn’t be destroying your lungs everyday. 

Eric would be troubled when he sees you coughing so much every time you took a hit. Sometime you would gag, even throwing up one time because you would cough so hard. 

One thing he began to enjoy was just listening to music with you after a smoke session. After that high crept in and he started to listen to that sweet sweet music, he couldn’t help but get up and dance. Mostly likely asking you to join him. 

He’s a really good listener when he’s high. You always were amazed by the way he would explain things to you on an intellectual level without getting upset or defensive. 

Also he started cooking more. He said he wanted to expand his cooking pallet and sometimes being high inspired him to try new things.  

Speaking of which, he loves experimenting in bed with you when he’s high. It just makes it a whole new experience for the both of you. One better than he could ever imagine.

But smoking for post-death Eric isn’t a constant thing so only expect him to only smoke with you. Its your guys special time and he will forever cherish those moments he has with you. 

[one-last-puku]

I think I just realized I participated in something akin to Special Ed during high school.

Like no shit. I remember having "some thing" called Section 504 after my NVLD "diagnosis" (2009, by the way). I'd go to this thing called "the Learning Center" that was one of my school's programs that the students usually used as a tutoring facility, but I started going there during the day. I don't really remember much about what I did there... I think they helped me make organized folders for my classes and some other things I swear I can't remember. I was able to take many of my class tests in there, because I took literally forever to finish my tests, if memory serves, I was able to ask an administrator what a question was trying to ask and the person there might help me along to find the right answer, from time to time. One thing I'll never forget for some reason, is that each day I had to go there and draw "figure 8s" and sometimes I'd have to guess measurements without a reference. I would try to overanalyze what the precise number could be, and one time I was able to perfectly predict what the measurement was from just eyeballing. I still really don't know what the figure 8s were supposed to do, but maybe I aught to practice that again since I can't seem to stop sucking at drawing circles. (I just remembered, I think I had to practice those tangram things too! I kind of hated those as a kid.)

My parents have always sworn that I'm normal and that the system just wants to medicate the children, but the whole reason I started having these accommodations was because I just couldn't seem to catch up with my peers. My parents just always told me I'm just not trying hard enough, get angry, or just give up on trying to make sure I was getting good grades. My mom would always say "A's make scholars, but C's make dollars." which is stupid and an excuse, but at the time I took advantage of my mom's leniency. HAHAHA perhaps I... "took her quote too literally" because I pretty much always had a C average. XD My parents would admittedly say some seriously ablest shit too, like my mom would say "#myname, you're perfectly normal. If you were m̷e̷n̷t̷a̷l̷l̷y̷ ̷r̷e̷t̷a̷r̷d̷e̷d̷, you'd be in a wheel chair like "dur dur durhur"," while hitting her chest with the side of her hand. "you're not like that." It felt like a hopeless conversation, and perhaps I was just lazy, taking aids that people more deserving needed.

I mean, I'm not... uhh. as they say, intellectually impaired or whatever that means. I mean, the private school I attended during the first half of my high school career required you to score a certain pretty high score for the pSAT in order to be able to enroll. I just struggled to pull that knowledge out in a timely manner or without getting anxious, especially when timed.

My handwriting still sucks too, though I've been told it looks nice? Bull, I tend to have other people write for me if I have to fill out an official document because my handwriting sucks so much. lol

Anyway, part of the reason I pretty much forgot that I "maaaybe" have a mental impairment after all this time was because of how much my parents vehemently insisted that there was nothing wrong with me and how I was perfectly normal.

I was admittedly also a bit concerned because I have never liked to stand out or feel like I was having special treatment, so often, despite needing the aids, the anxiety of feeling like people around me were secretly judging me was enough to make me blank out even more if I did need more time on my tests. I remember this one instance, when I decided to go back to public high school for the latter half, in physics class (The private school had us one class level ahead of public school, so I was a Junior taking a Senior course.) I was unable to finish my test before the teacher needed to move onto the next part of class, so I had to go to a back room to keep working on my test. I got soo soo anxious and self conscious, my mind became too blank to finish my test. Instead I had drawn a dancing banana in the space where my answers were supposed to be. It was probably drawn in an attempt to distract and calm my nerves, but it failed. I felt so embarrassed.

That said, I made a mental note to myself that I just needed to get faster at taking my tests, and if I didn't feel like I knew the answer quickly enough, I'd have to move on and try to go back later. If everyone was pretty much done, I made myself check it over quickly, and then just turned in what was there.

By the time I went off to college, I had forgone the 504 aids and just went on pretending I was a normal person. So even to this day, it's like everyone around me just.. decidedly forgot that I did have all of these things happen in the past.

I did graduate college without aids, but I was very close to dropping out once. I had to write a letter in order to have it waved so I could keep attending school. I sometimes feel like I don't really deserve my Bachelor's degree, I guess it's that lovely imposter syndrome.

[vivithefolle]

Hi Vivi, can you share some thoughts on the "Hermione deserves to be/should have married to XYZ because she is way too good for Ron" mentality of this fandom??

I’m gonna copy-paste a Quora answer of mine, because recycling is important!

Claiming that Ron is “out of Hermione’s league” is a statement rooted in sexism, classism and probably a bunch of other -isms.

It might seem like I’m just throwing buzz-words around but let me explain.

First off, the sexism.

Oh, the sexism.

As I’ve pointed it out in yet another one of my answers  (I’m so sorry for drowning you all in a plethora of links), Ron is very much a female-coded male character.

Ron is emotional, wears his heart on his sleeve, has anxieties and inadequacies, walks off in order to cool down, has a temper, puts other people before his needs, and pretty much adopts Harry when he rescues him in the second book. He’s the Heart of the Trio: he doesn’t rely on sole logic, he can believe something without proof, he is sensitive and thus is the easiest to hurt emotionally.

Whether you call it a “beta male”, a “wuss”, “defying gender roles” or a “soft boy” is your own business, but the core of it is that Ron doesn’t meet the standards for people’s vision of a “desirable” masculine figure.

The little things Ron quietly performs in the books - when he helps Harry into his pyjamas in Chamber of Secrets because Harry’s arm is bloop; when he’s worrying about Hermione’s whereabouts in Prisoner of Azkaban; when he helps Harry unwind after his visions in Goblet of Fire; when he puts food onto Harry’s plate and wakes him up from his nightmares in Order of the Phoenix; when he beams that Hermione was “perfect, obviously” when she passes her Apparition test - all those caring gestures don’t seem like much, but if you bother to think about it, they paint an enormous picture.

Who gets Hermione to stop overworking while making her feel good about her accomplishments? Who comforts Harry from his nightmares and cares for him in the dead of the night, when nobody is awake? Who makes sure his friends are healthy and happy? Who wards off the dark and depressing thoughts, be it with his fists or a joke?

It’s Ron.

When you think about it, “traditional masculinity” in Harry Potter is as much frowned upon as “traditional feminity” is - which sometimes bites Rowling in the butt when you remember how she obviously seems to consider that Hermione and Ginny are the only desirable kind of girls.

Vernon Dursley? The entrepreneur “king of the household” prejudiced suburbian middle-class Dad? Fits in the usual tropes of traditional masculinity.

Dudley Dursley? The typical “boys will be boys” spoiled middle-class only child who’s the apple of his parents’ eyes and even takes up boxing, as if he wasn’t traditionally masculine enough.

Draco Malfoy? See Dudley, but toss in “upper-class posh aristocrat bully who doesn’t like to get his hands dirty so he has henchmen do it for him because he’s too rich for this sh-t”, would remind you of a few Christian Greys or Gatsbys.

Dolores Umbridge? Oh no, cat pictures, decorative plates, talks to teens as if they’re babies and PINK, SO MUCH PINK!!! So disgustingly feminine!!

Rowling very much frowns upon traditional gender roles - with Molly Weasley being an exception because Rowling feels very strongly about being a mother, and relates to Molly a lot.

Right - so, being a beautiful mess of paradoxes and contradictions (a “soft boi” who also punches bullies in the face, a fussy mother-hen who swears like a sailor, a tall athlete with badass scars on his arms who’s nurturing and sweet; in short, a wonderfully human character), Ron is obviously going to be a polarizing character. You painfully relate to him and get defensive when he’s criticized, you feel his characterization hits a bit too close to home so you hate him, or you disregard him completely because you can’t see anything “special” about him…

Now, onto another very, very sexist point that is often made.

People say that Hermione “deserves better” than Ron, often claiming that they “aren’t intellectual equals”, then citing Harry (who is mistaken as being some sort of slumbering genius but honestly, the kid is really a bit daft) or Draco (since apparently, being rich must equal to being intelligent) or, god forbid, Snape (because he’s a teacher and teachers are meant to be clever).

Soooo, I could go the loooooong way and pull out all the receipts that prove that none of these characters are perfectly intellectually matched to Hermione…

Or I could go the long way and simply give you this: this obsession with finding an “intellectual equal” for Hermione reflects the mentality of “women are not allowed to be better at something than their husband”.

Yep.

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength. - credit to @lytefoot

People don’t want Hermione to be with a man who’s her “equal.” They want her to be with a man who can be The Man so she can know the contentment of being The Woman.

But, with this sexist line of thought, how do we justify how Ron is supposed to be such a bad match for Hermione? Because if it was just about mere sexism, Romione would surely be more popular. Imagine! Ron happily raising the children, being a house-husband and proud of it, while Hermione is out there fighting for justice in the wizarding world! What a power-couple, defying norms and gender roles and not being the least bit conscious of it, prime OTP material for sure! So why do people still want Hermione to put Harry, Draco, or god forbid², Snape in Ron’s place? Is this an irrational hatred of redheads? An Harmionian’s delirious wet dream? A failure to separate the actors from their characters?

It’s all this and, quite frankly, something more: the inherent classism that comes with Ron’s status as an explicitly working-class coded character.

I know, I know, “Vivian! Calm down with the buzzwords, you’re starting to sound like an online pretend-feminist magazine!”

Or “Come on, people who don’t ship Ron and Hermione together aren’t all sexist or classist!”

Of course, of course! I know that! I’m not implying that!

But some of the “reasons” why they claim that Ron and Hermione can’t work - are extremely classist in nature, that’s just it!

Come on, think about it! What are the Number Ones arguments people always pull against Ron? Or the most common Ron-bashing tropes (look at fanfics and watch the number of stories that use at least one of those)?

Ron is stupid/mediocre

Ron is lazy/useless

Ron resents his wife’s hard work/success

Ron is a homophobe

Ron is a drunkard

Ron (the big prude who at 16 had never kissed a girl and sees a first kiss as the prelude to a wedding) is massively oversexed and cheats on Hermione with anything that moves

Not only do these “reasons” completely ignore ALL OF RON’S CHARACTERIZATION - except for the “lazy” bit but come off it, all teenagers are lazy and Hermione’s the exception to the rule - but it matches perfectly with the negative stereotypes associated with working-class white men in fiction.

It’s also very funny to note how many (assumedly middle-class or financially secure) fans look down on Ron for being “whiny” or “greedy” when he expresses the desire to have money of his own, or blame his parents for “not knowing when to stop” or “being irresponsible”, or even look down on them for being “too proud to accept help”!! Also how shocked people are when Ron dares to stand up for himself when Hermione or Harry act badly towards him. How dare this country boy not listen to the wisdom of his social “betters”?

So, obviously, because our Heroine can’t go with a Nasty, Mediocre Working-Class Man, she must be paired off with someone of Proper Status: say, a Hero that was raised in a middle-class home and might be a bit psychologically damaged but it’s nothing all those gold coins in his vault can’t fix; or this Rich Posh Aristocrat who actively rooted for her death, he’s a little bit eccentric and has some exotic pet-names to call you, but I’m sure you’ll learn to love him and will unearth the gold coins in his bank account… I mean, the heart of gold that lies within the surface; oh, why not a Way Too Big An Age Difference Teacher if you’re looking for a “cultured man” who has zero things in common with you; we can also bring Convenient Plot Device Famous Rich Foreign Athlete if you want some diversity and you don’t feel original!

But we can’t - oh, we mustn’t let her be with this Terrible Working-Class Boy! His brothers are fine, they have money, they have jobs, so they’re obviously Not As Mediocre. But let our precious Hermione be with this Just-Got-Out-Of-School hooligan? She can’t possibly be in love with him! You’ll see darling, you’ll get bored eventually! He’s too mediocre for you, you deserve a man who outclasses you - I mean, who can provide for you! You’re a fragile little flower who scars people for life when she’s not happy with them, what makes you think that this boy can possibly handle you even though he’s done so for the past seven years?

You wanted it, you got it.

People are shallow, have misconceptions about Ron’s character that they are unwilling to correct or use classist and sexist arguments to try to make it so that either Ron is the Devil himself / Hermione is a higher kind of being that can only orgasm if sufficiently “intellectually stimulated” / what-have-you.

[0theghost0]

Okay, I'm going to try to not make this rambling nonsense.

So recently in my free time I've been going on a Riddler reading binge, and since he's my second favorite Batvillain I've zeroed in on some things that I think could be tweaked. If you kick Harley out of the mix, Eddie is probably the second most popular rogue in Batman. But he's also one of those characters that drastically changes depending on who is writing him. Which is fine, it's comics and that's how they work and it's part of the fun. But, it is a little weird considering how popular he is, and I think it works against the writing in a lot of situations.

Let me start by this by bringing up one of those old sayings in comic land. The Batman villains are interesting because they're all weird fun house mirror versions of Bruce Wayne and Batman. Joker is the extreme chaos to Batman's extreme order. Two Face is the duality, one for justice the other for violence. Mad Hatter is trying to reshape his world based off of a childish obsession. Ivy became a monster, hell bent on protecting what she sees as the real victims. The Penguin is an intelligent man from a rich and long family line, but with parents who didn't love him. They all show a fallacy in Batman's logic, a flaw in his mission. And then, there's the Riddler. 

Sometimes he's more of a conman. He thinks he's super smart, and he's good at convincing people he is. But really he's just a money driven eccentric criminal who is a little smarter than the average citizen- who robs banks. Sometimes he's a hyper intelligent ego maniac who is determined to prove his superiority to everyone else- so he robs banks and steals jewels? And then sometimes he's a hyper intelligent narcissist determined to prove his superiority by making unsolvable puzzles- which I would argue is the most popular interpretation. This causes problems within the writing though. If there's no clear motivation he becomes... I swear to God I didn't do this on purpose- an enigma. Which is hilarious and all, but not very good for large world building. I think most people would argue that Eddie is one of Batman's greatest abilities turned against him (his intelligence). Which I would agree is the best way to handle him. If Eddie is one of the most dangerous super criminals in Gotham, he should have at least some clear motivation. Hell, in some comics Batman says Eddie is the smartest person in the whole city, and is even smarter than him. That’s a good foundation for a villain! Just make that the core of the character and write around that.

The thing is there’s been a lot of really good character building with Eddie in the comics, its just not always carried over into every interpretation and its not explored enough for it to be really impactful. If all of the interesting character traits were combined into one, and if a lot of that work was broken down into a more concise vision he’d work a lot better? He’s an abuse victim with some serious mental and personality issues that went untreated, and now he can outsmart everyone around him so good luck getting him any kind of help. He’s also very easy to dislike, which is great for a villain. He’s full of himself, pompous, mean, sleazy, extremely self centered, but charming in a weird used car salesman kinda way. Despite being so intelligent he’s never been part of the intellectual world, he’s always been down in the grime and gutter with the conmen. He only relies on himself, but is self destructive. He’s also pretty lazy, he likes to reach his goals by outsmarting people or the system rather than actually working toward them. He takes the easy way- until he doesn’t and really throws himself into a scheme, and then he’s really dangerous because he pulls out the whole bag of tricks. He relies on his intelligence too much, making him miss important details by not seeing their importance. Maybe he robs banks sometimes, because he’s bored and likes being the center of attention for a few minutes. 

Y'know who else is easy to dislike? Bruce. Y'know who likes to do everything himself? Bruce. Y’know who misses details because he doesn’t see their importance? Bruce. Y'know who likes to take the easy way? Bruce. Though with him it's usually in emotional situations or interpersonal relationships. See what I’m trying to get at here?  I don’t think I’m talking about anything that most fans don’t already think, I just find it odd that the comics seem to be making things a lot harder on themselves. 

[edupunkn00b]

Remy & Emile, Chapter 1: Wise Men

Word Count: 2266, Human AU, pre- and during Chapter 1 of Happily Ever After

[ AO3 ]

May Flowers Event Day 11: Sunflowers for longevity

---

Remy Sanders slouched further down into his seat in his Paleoecology class. The professor was droning on and on about the heat death of the Universe and how long we could expect the Earth to last when the Universe itself had grown cold. Remy chuckled under his breath, imagining that his father would have something to say about the flaw in Professor Howard’s logic. The Earth will have long been swallowed by the Sun by the time we reach the heat death of the Universe, Professor. He doodled another sunflower in the margin of his notebook. His musings were interrupted by a shy voice at the front of the room.

“Um, excuse me, Professor, but I am not certain that’s entirely accurate.” Remy sat up in his seat, craning his neck to see who in the lecture hall of over two hundred students had interrupted their professor to correct him. Remy couldn’t quite see who was speaking. The lecture hall was crowded, with every seat filled. Paleoecology was a required course for all Atmospheric and Environmental Science majors and was only offered once every two years, so the class was typically filled to the rafters.

It was unfortunate, because Professor Howard put very little effort into the course. He clearly hadn’t updated his material in decades. The syllabus for the class was a photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy. There were places where the original due dates were listed as 1998, with the old year simply crossed out and re-written. There were also rumors that Professor Howard could be vindictive in his grading, where your position on the class curve was based not on scores but on how much the professor liked you. It was not unheard of for unsuspecting students to fail his class the first time.

All of this led to a very packed room. Despite his efforts, Remy could only see the top of the brave student’s head, a bright tuft of curly pink hair.

“Professor, while it is true that the Universe will likely meet its end in complete entropy, or, the so-called ‘Big Freeze’, in several trillion years, our own planet is expected to succumb to the expanding Sun sometime in the next five to seven billion years when our sun reaches its red giant stage, expanding beyond 1 AU and engulfing our planet in its corona.”

“Thank you, ah …,” Professor Howard checked the seating chart, squinting across the rows, “uh, Mr. Patshki. Now, as I was saying - “

“One more thing, sir,” Patshki’s voice was polite but insistent. Remy couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “While our planet will likely be destroyed in that time frame, there are other, more pressing threats to our existence.” Patshki was quiet for a moment and Remy could swear he’d paused for dramatic effect. “Human life on this planet is much more likely to meet its demise well within the next several millennia, through a combination of climate change and an electromagnetic pulse from the Sun similar to the 1849 Carrington Event.”

A tittering of laughter spread across the lecture hall as Patshki sat down, clearing his throat and muttering, “Thank you, sir,” and the professor returned to the lecture. Remy’s attention, however, was solely focused on the small tuft of pink hair he could just barely see through the rows of occupied seats.

—

At the end of class, Remy quickly packed his notebook and computer away and stood, eyes searching for that bright pink shade. He wanted to meet this guy, if for no other reason than to shake his hand for putting this overly-tenured and intellectually lazy professor in his place, even if it was just for a moment.

Remy frowned, about to give up, thinking he must have missed him leaving through another exit, when he finally spotted him waiting in a short line to speak with the professor. Remy made his way down the long aisle like a salmon moving upstream, snaking through the crowd of students trying to leave the hall. Finally, he made it to the lower level and adjusted his bag, looking for Patshki. When Remy spotted him, he stood frozen in place. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Patshki’s voice had been soft and shy, but his courage in correcting a tenured professor in the middle of a lecture drove Remy to expect someone a little … tougher looking.

The boy - Man, Remy corrected himself. We’re not kids anymore. The man was a little shorter than he was, with a wild crown of pink, curly hair. He wore a bright pink oxford shirt and pressed khakis, with pink Chucks and matching laces. Remy stood a bit behind him and waited - mostly - patiently while Patshki spoke with the professor, asking questions about the reading. The professor had stopped packing up his notes and talked with him, a bemused expression on his face.

“The text only briefly mentions the issues around scaling,” Patshki blinked rapidly, tilting his head. “What would you recommend we read to further investigate the best way to reconcile the gaps when applying the same spatial scale to both paleoecological and neoecological studies?”

“That’s an interesting question. It sounds like you’ve read Bennington - “

“And Badgely,” Patshki added, eyebrow raised.

Professor Howard cleared his throat, “Yes, yes, she was a contributor to his work, as well.” He narrowed his eyes at Patshki, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You’re a Sophomore, aren’t you?” Emile nodded. “Are you TA’ing for any of your other classes?” Emile blinked at the sudden topic change. “My TA for my 100-level course just quit and I could use a replacement.”

Remy wanted to interrupt - a TA quitting more than half-way through the year with a tenured professor - even one as bad as this guy? That’s a red flag, my man. He looked closely at Patshki’s body language. He’d taken a half step backwards away from the professor. Good, he's going to say no.

“I’m not sure if it will work with my schedule,” the pink-haired man carefully replied, shaking his head slightly. “Can I get back to you?”

The professor tilted his head, “You’re planning to eventually apply to the graduate program in Earth and Space Sciences at UW, aren’t you?” Emile nodded slowly. “You will need a good recommendation to get in. I know several of the advisors in that program.”

“Well, I appreciate you considering me, but I have a recommendation from Professor Markovski already and -“

Professor Howard started to frown, pulling out his seating chart and grade book again, ready to make a mark.

“Professor, when does the class meet?” Remy interjected. Patshki turned to look at him, relief washing over his face. Remy swallowed, not sure what he expected to say when the professor responded.

“It’s a Monday-Wednesday class with a Thursday practical, at 2 and 4 PM,” the professor narrowed his eyes at Remy, lips pursed in annoyance at the interruption.

“Oh … you see,” he looked at Patshki, mouth gaping for a half-second when the man's chocolatey brown eyes locked on to his own. Remy took a breath before continuing, “We have a standing study group with Professor Chiang every Wednesday. There’s no way we can get out of it.” He risked a glance back at Patshki, nodding slightly. Come on, accept the save ...

“Right, sorry, Professor, I was afraid I was forgetting something like that.” Both men held their breath as the professor slowly unfolded his arms and shrugged.

“Very well. If you truly have a conflict, I suppose I will need to find another TA, then.” The professor squinted at Remy again, “Croft, did you have a question, as well?”

Remy’s eyebrows knit together. “Excuse me, Professor, but it’s actually Sanders now.” At least it will be in May when I can change it … His face relaxed when he saw Professor Howard update his chart. “But, no. No, sir, no questions from me. I was just going to walk with, um, my friend back to the library.”

Patshki nodded quickly, turning from the professor, “Right, right, we’re running late … Thank you, Professor. See you next week.” He turned away from the professor’s intimidating stare, wide eyes meeting Remy’s again. He mouthed, “Thank you!” and followed Remy back up the stairs and out of the the lecture hall.

As soon as the door closed, Patshki grabbed Remy’s arm, “Thank you so much! Professor Howard was starting to really creep me out.” Patshki leaned against the wall, putting his hands on his knees and bending over, breathing quickly and starting to wheeze.

“Hey … hey, um, you’re gonna be ok …,” Remy began, “What's your first name? I'm Remy."

Patshki gasped, “Em- Emile …”

Remy bit his lip, trying to remember anything from last year's mental health first aid class. Connect, ask … “It’s really nice to meet you, Emile. Can … can we go outside?”

Emile looked up at Remy, blinking rapidly. “Professor Howard will likely come out soon," Remy continued. "Can I help you?” Emile’s eyes grew wide and he nodded. Remy picked up Emile's bag and held out his arm for the other man to grasp and they made their way outside and a little distance from the entrance, sitting on a bench on the Quad.

Emile’s breathing started to calm as soon as they got outside. Remy realized he was counting quietly as he breathed. Remy sat silently, waiting with Emile until he was calm enough to speak again. After several more minutes, Remy could no longer hear any wheezing. He noticed Emile’s shoulders start to lower and he sat a little straighter. Finally, Emile turned to Remy and gave him a small smile. “Thank you - again. I … I hope I am not keeping you from your next class.”

Remy smiled back, “No, no, not at all. That was my last class of the day.” He patted Emile’s shoulder, “Feeling any better?”

Emile nodded, cheeks slightly pink. “I think perhaps I’m a little sleep deprived … blowing things out of proportion.” He shook his head. “I can be a little oversensitive sometimes …” Emile suddenly froze, eyes wide. “I - and I suppose I tend to overshare.” Emile reached for his bag where Remy had set it down by their feet. “I’m sorry … I - “

Remy brushed Emile’s arm, “Please wait, Emile … why are you sorry?” Emile turned, peering closely at Remy’s face and registering no anger or annoyance. “It’s a nice day and we’re sitting outside,” Remy shrugged gently and smiled. “I don’t see anything to be sorry about.” Emile tilted his head, considering Remy’s words. Slowly, he sat back down, relaxing against the back rest.

Remy looked closely at Emile. “Would you rather talk or just sit quietly and people watch?,” he winked, grinning widely.

“People watching sounds quite nice right about now, actually, if you do not mind?,” Remy nodded, leaning back and turning his attention to the students walking around the Quad.

They sat together for almost an hour, interrupted only by a quiet alarm chiming on Emile’s phone. “Oh, I need to get back to my dorm before, um …” his voice trailed off as he stood and picked up his bag again. “See you in class next week?”

Remy nodding, standing, “Yes, yes, definitely!” He opened his arms to hug Emile at the same time that Emile reached out to shake his hand. They both laughed and settled on a fist bump. “It really was nice to meet you, Emile.” Emile grinned and turned, walking quickly down the path toward the dorms. Remy watched for a few moments before retrieving his own bag and walking the opposite way down the path toward the library.

—

Next week in Paleoecology, after the TAs took attendance, Remy noticed that the seat next to Emile appeared vacant, so on the first break, he tucked his notebook and laptop under his arm and sprinted down the aisle. “Hi, Emile,” he began, grinning as his new friend looked up. “Say, um, do you mind if I sit next to you?” Emile blinked at him, lips parted, expression unreadable. Remy’s eyes widened and he shook his head, “Oh, you know, I’m sorry, I’m overstepping - “ he started to move back toward the aisle and his regular seat. “- I - I didn’t mean to be rude …,” Remy turned, ready to rush back up the steps, when Emile stood and reached for his arm.

“Remy, yes, please sit!,” he blurted out, his voice carrying a few rows away and drawing the attention of more than a few pairs of eyes. Emile flushed but gestured toward the empty seat next to him, nodding. He lowered his voice, “Please.”

Remy smiled and settled into the seat just as the professor called the class back from break.

The rest of class was uneventful, with both men drawn back into the lecture. The time passed quickly and before either were really aware of it, class was over. Remy packed his bag and stood, hands in his pockets. He grinned at Emile. “Are … are you busy? Maybe we could, um, work on our presentations together?”

Emile smiled, starting to nod, but then froze, eyes wide, when his phone began to ring, playing Chris Brown’s Go Crazy. “Actually, I - I apologize, I need to take this.”

“Oh, of course … see you later, then.” Remy waved and smiled, starting up the aisle.

Emile pressed the call button on his phone, “Hi, Honey, I am just getting out of class right now …”

As Remy started up the stairs, he very nearly managed to convince himself that he didn’t feel that twinge in his chest as he heard how Emile answered his call.

@tsshipmonth2020​

[helioark]

A Guide to the Amber Woods 

This blog, its writings, and its characters are all copyright to the author of this blog. All opinions and ideas expressed within are not guaranteed to be factual and are the product of the blog owner’s research and creativity. Trust not the Fae. 

… 

Where Am I?

Welcome to the Amber Woods. Currently located in the midst of the verdant depths of the Willamette Valley, the Amber Woods are the haunting grounds of an ancient, secretive Archfaerie, fallen from grace and on the run from his past.  He answers to The Warden (or Cecil, if you’re on good terms) and he lives in a strange-looking cabin by the river, selling trinkets made of amber and glass for unusual forms of payment. The sun is red in the sky, and the shadows of the trees are long against the ferns. It’s hard to concentrate with the sound of the river so loud in your ears, which is odd, because you’re nowhere near it. You keep walking, because you came here for a reason.

What was it again?

Who’s Who?

The Author

Hi! My name is James, I’m the (very human) author of this blog. I hail from the misty locales of Oregon, where the rain is our sunshine and you end up in the town center of TIllamook no matter how many times you think you’ve left it. I’m a self-diagnosed mythology nerd and a semi-consistent creative writer with a love for horror and fantasy. I run this blog to practice my writing, interact with people who enjoy the topics I write about, and to give myself an outlet to express my love for the weird shit I find on the internet. Most posts that are not focused on faerie mythology, eldritch/occult stuff, or similar are the things that I post. Almost all of that content can be found under the hashtag [# not the warden], or if I’m lazy, no hashtag at all. If you want to ask me about my research, creative story lines, or just tell me about your day, my inbox is always open! 

The Warden 

The Warden is the character I run this blog as. He is my original creation, though he is heavily inspired by several Celtic, Irish, and British folkloric legends. In the Amber Woods canon, the Warden and I are separate people that exist at the same time. Almost all of the content that The Warden deals with is tagged [# the warden speaks]. 

The Warden will answer asks about the Fae, his past, or the occult, and does business through the inbox. It is not necessary to do business in order to ask a question, and asking a question does not require payment. If you wish to buy amber from the Warden, he will expect you to give him something valuable in return. The Warden will make a post with the hashtag [ # restocking] to announce that the inbox is open for amber selling, and a post with the hashtag [ # out of stock] to indicate that it is closed. As with all transactions with the Fae, mind your manners and your words. The Warden is kind but will not hesitate to rob you. General offerings are also appreciated, and will be used to make lunch. As with all faeries, follow the rules. Additionally, never mention crows.

If you would like to hear it, below is part of The Warden’s story. Also found below is the tag directory and some necessary disclaimers. I hope you enjoy your visit to the Amber Woods! If you don’t, well, that’s hardly our fault, is it? 

. . . 

The Warden is an ex-Archfaerie of the High Court of Summer, where he ruled at the right hand of the Midsummer Queen herself and was responsible for defending the Courts of Summer against defamation and attack. He hails from one of the first generations of the Aos Sí, born on the edges of the last great war between the Fomorians and the Tuatha Dé Danann, rescued from near certain death by Ghillie Dhu and given to his sister for safekeeping. He is the eighth child of the Last Great King, younger sibling to the seventh daughter, the powerful sídhe who would eventually come to rule the Summer Courts.

 He ruled as commander of the armies of midsummer and guardian of the great emerald woods of the hills for nigh on six thousand years, becoming known to many humans as The Green Knight. The story of his downfall is not mine to tell, but after committing a great act of treason against the Queen, he fled the Summer Court and wandered the edges of the feywilds for another three thousand years, acquiring enemies and friends alike, hiding his face, never speaking his own name. Some say that the legend of Crom Dubh stems from this period, but the Warden denies this. 

After some time, The Warden wandered a little too close to the edges of the world and discovered the truth of his past, hidden from him by his sister. He chased these threads of history into the twilight hell of the Gloaming Courts, and he currently refuses to tell anyone anything else about what happened then besides the fact that he stole an artifact of great power and barely escaped with his life. Using this artifact, the Amber Woods were created, and the Warden finds himself now haunting the forests of the Pacific Northwest, exchanging the bereft dreams and wishes of humans for amber. He hides from the Queen of Midsummer yet, but he swears that someday, he will reclaim his inheritance. How, I do not know.

… 

How to Navigate the Woods

Taglist: 

[ # the warden speaks]: Denotes a post that the warden has reblogged or added onto. 

[ # not the warden / # the author speaks]: Denotes a post that I have reblogged or added onto out of character.

[ # machinations of the fae]: Denotes a post that describes an action, creation, or person belonging to faerie lore that isn’t about the warden.  

[ # abominations of the fae]: Denotes a post about non-faerie cryptids, beasts, or other affronts to sensibility. 

[ # teaching the mortals how to speak with faeries]: Denotes a post where someone breaks a rule of faerie etiquette in the ask box. 

[ # under hill / # under hill and stone]: Denotes a post about the feywilds or faerie geography, usually. 

[ # four courts under hill]: Denotes a post about the seasonal faerie courts. 

[ # tales of the tuath de]: Denotes a post about or concerning Celtic, Irish, or Gaelic mythology.

[ # the unspoken rules of the amber woods / the unspoken rules]: Denotes a post that is part of the Unspoken Rules series, either about the Amber Woods or a mundane place 

[ # amber sales]: Denotes a post about the selling of amber through the ask box.

[ # restocking]: Denotes a post about opening the inbox for amber sales.

[ # out of stock]: Denotes a post about closing the inbox for amber sales.

[ # fear not! / # be not afraid]: Denotes a post about angels.

[ # nicene lore]: Denotes a post about specifically Christian or Catholic lore.

[ # eldritch thread]: Denotes a post that interacts with several other eldritch or occult blogs. 

[ # sigilcraft]: Denotes a post about the Author’s sigilwork.

[ # ____ cw]: Any content warnings will follow this format: (thing i’m content warning) cw. If you would like me to content warn a specific thing, message me.

[ # blogname]: Denotes a post specifically interacting with a blog. 

[ # f scott fitzgerald’s reanimated corpse]: Denotes a post about F. Scott Fitzgerald’s reanimated corpse.

[ # hillkeeping]: Tagged onto any post that details changes made to the blog, its workings, and/or its lore. 

I will add more as necessary. 

… 

Hillkeeping

This blog sometimes interacts with @thetatteredveil and @normal-horoscopes. It was inspired by both of these blogs and does not claim any canonicity within said blogs. Both blogs exist within the Amber Woods canon; none of their content is considered my intellectual property.  

If you would like to create a blog or character within the Amber Woods canon, message me! I would love to work with other creators and writers. 

As stated above, all information and creative licence posted within this blog cannot be considered consistently factual. I have done surface-level research on the common Gaelic, Irish, and Scottish folklore and mythology that forms the basis of my characters and stories. Check your facts and consult with experts, of which I do not consider myself one. 

Finally, friends, be kind to each other and the world you live in. You have no idea what listens to you when you think you are alone.

[needyounow-love]

Okay let’s go down this rabbit hole shall we?

I’m an 18 year old girl and I’m in the last few months of my high school. I’m preparing to enter the legal field for college. My Mbti type usually bounces between Enfp and Infp (49% - 50% lol). I’m a capricorn sun with Leo rising and scorpio moon.

I absolutely love to read fiction and sometimes write anything from ff to poetry. I’m also quite involved with performing arts since I was a kid. I love to dance, sing and act! I also believe that vines shaped me into who I am😌

I have tendencies to internalise my emotions which control me until they burst out (quite often) and overwhelm me but I also get extremely lonely a lot.. When it comes to people close to me who are going through something, I am comfortable with talking about emotions but I can’t do the same for myself. I guess I get uncomfortable because of that. I also feel that I change myself depending on who I am with. I subconsciously am a loud and humorous most of the time.

I had self esteem issues as a kid but I’ve grown up and out of them (thanks to buzzfeed quizzes can you imagine) and now I think I’m a lil narcissistic too(oops)

I’ve got a few close friends, and many people I’m on good terms with. BUT. I’m a PROFESSIONAL shit talker. I also distance myself from friends instinctively. I’m very lazy about stuff I don’t want to do, but I breeze through stuff I want to do. I’ve got absolutely no problem dealing with superiors/elders to get what I want. I absolutely HATE having to do something I don’t like. And I’m short tempered with the reflex of swearing every two seconds.

I’m into music that’s on the slower side plus classics and I PHYSICALLY cannot let others control music playlists during gatherings. Currently into day6, joji, cigarettes after sex, and lot of other songs too

I’m 5 feet 7 inches with dark hair that’s P thick, reaches my upper waist, and curls at the ends. I’m told I’ve got eyes that look like they’ll pop out whenever I’m surprised. I’ve suspiciously got all of my birthmarks on my left side (foot, palm and finger, and two beauty marks on my face). I have a habit of biting my tongue /rolling it when I concentrate to do anything involving my hands. I’ve got a dimple on my cheek.

Also I’m fluent in four languages.

I feel like to connect with someone, I need to be able to have intellectual conversations and be allowed to act dumb as hell too lol.

Bottom line is I’m treating this as a counselling session (sorry queen✌️) and I’ll stop. I love you. And I also not so secretly hope that i can become friends with you and anyone else too. So, hello I’m Kay! Thank you so much :) @kay-is-online

—-

Hiii! Feel free to dm when you want if you want to be friends (but I’m a bit awkward at first rgjejg). And ily too!

I match you with Solomon!

I think that Solomon and you would be a good couple. With the shady sorcerer you won’t ever get bored because he can lose himself in long conversations about anything and be extra and random at the same time (he literally knows all vines references and can talk in memes, you would be surprised by how many things he knows).

Solomon, like you, knows how to get what he wants and all his pacts are a proof of that and he can clearly see through your facade. Sometimes he might even guess your feelings without you even talking about them because he’s just very good at being intuitive.

I think he would find your loud and short-tempered nature amusing. He would even find it cute when you get mad and tease you about it, just to make you get you angry on purpose.

[muffinlance]

what would you say is the most important thing about writing, and are there any tips you'd be willing to share?

In the order I thought of them, which might or might not reflect their significance to me or you:

Write a fuck ton. And do it as close to daily as possible. You get better at this by doing it more, just like every other skill. Writing isn't any more magical than carpentry: show up, do it a lot, and you'll improve.

Writer's block is either you being lazy/scared to write and Ruin Everything or your subconscious telling you there's an Actual Problem with your story. Learn to differentiate the two. Writer's block in the form of "oh I haven't written forever because my ethereal muse won't inspire me" is generally the former; stop being an ass to yourself and sit down. BIC = Butt In Chair = one of the most common acronyms you'll find on writer's forums.

Critique Circle (no fanfic allowed, sorry)

The Absolute Write Water Cooler (no fanfic, and STAY THE HELL AWAY if you're not ready for serious publishing, these people talk real talk and that broke me for a bit as a newb who Wasn't Ready For This Level of Publishing Reality.)

Setting a timer to write was super useful for me when I was still trying to establish good habits. 45 minutes BIC, and no going off on that 30 minute research tangent doesn't count, no internet no research no distractions just WRITE.

I really really suck at the "no distractions, just write". System that works well for me when I need to kiddie lock myself to the chair: use phone for typing. Set it up just out of reach and use a Bluetooth keyboard. At this point I've typed like two novels using this method. Requires a good phone that doesn't crash when your Google doc gets too big though, RIP my last phone.

Google docs are your friend. Autosave and available everywhere.

I'm going to find and murder the person who decided Google docs should use some kind of neural network predictive shit for its spell check instead of comparing to an actual dictionary file. Beware REALLY BIZARRE typos slipping through. Turning on grammar check catches most of these. I will not murder the person who added that.

Backup copies of your stories. Regularly. For Serious Face writing, I typically have the main doc on GDrive, and download a .rft copy to my local hard drive any day I make sizable progress/edits. Title the file with the date (year-month-day, ie 2019-11-08, so that the files sort nicely by name), and a brief recap of what you changed. Ie: 2019-11-08 Story Title Here added ch 3 deleted wererabbits". Then if you are looking for the wererabbits scene because why did you delete that it was AWESOME, you know you just need to load up the doc before. Version control bitches, it's not just for Com Sci. I also backup my backups monthly to two different flash drives, because you can NEVER BE PARANOID ENOUGH.

Pay attention to what you like/dislike in other stories, especially things that grab you and make you want to read through the night (or make you go 'eh, this was fun to read, but not great'). Suss out WHY. Incorporate into your style appropriately.

Critique other people's stories, especially finished ones in your genre and word count. Pre-published works are a treasure trove of almost-there-but-not-quite that really helps you practice #10. Figure out how YOU would fix things, if it were your novel. Figure out three to four ways you could fix it. One suggestion can come off as imposing your opinion on the person you're betaing for, and is a no-no. A bulleted list is helping them brainstorm and they will love you and want to wed into your family. Critiquing helps the other writer a little, and helps you a fuck ton more. Crit. Lots. (As time allows, and generally when you have a work that needs critting back, because crit partners can and will disappear on you.)

Fuck fear, get your writing out there. At the very least you'll learn what not to do next time. This especially applies to the fun that is the querying process. Related note: that short story I just got published in a major mag? I sat on that for like year before I tried sending it anywhere because I had a nebulous fear of Not Being Good Enough. Fuck that shit, shove your terrible writing at people and let THEM decide if there's anything to love in it. Especially in fanfiction, where the stakes are so low, and it's generally not the well-written stories but the most compelling that get attention.

You'll probably never grow out of the "my writing is terrible" thing. I have literally never heard of an author who has. You just learn to deal with it better as you get more and more positive feedback (and the feedback WILL get more positive if you're conscientiously writing lots with the improvement of your craft in mind.) I know on an intellectual level that I'm writing at a pro level 'cause people have literally paid me pro-level monies for it, but I'm still Super Nervous anytime I start a new plot arc because What If This One Sucks.

Corollary: Sometimes you will inexplicably want to take your latest story to the bathtub and drown it even though there's nothing objectively wrong with it. Take a big step back and work on something else for awhile. You are going to do nothing but mangle your story until you are out of that mood.

Having multiple projects helps you to have a different Favorite Child so you can avoid murdering your other children and still be productive.

Find something outside of writing that is good stress relief + healthy, because This Is Stressful. If you're being serious about it, you're probably treating it like a part-time job. Jobs are stressful. Writing is no exception. Walking/jogging pairs well with general Think Time, I've found.

Think Time is real. Think Time is that thing where you aren't actively thinking of the story and then three days later you suddenly have the solution to that plot problem. As long as you're actively engaging with your craft, there is a part of your brain that will be working on things in the background for you. Thank you, semi-automated brain subprocesses!

Don't use Think Time as an excuse not to write, you lazy ass. Put a GERBIL in your outline and come back to it, go write the next scene.

My outlines include addressing myself directly, swearing at myself, and using the word GERBIL as a marker for things that need fixing. These are optional but enjoyable. (And also the reason none of my characters will ever have a GERBIL as a pet, because then I couldn't use it as an easy Ctrl+F keyword.)

My dinner is cold so this list is done.

[simpkageyama]

Thanks for answering my ask!

Can I have a male character ship from nekoma please?

I identify as female!

I’m a kuudere+tsundere; but I turn into a mega dork+geek once I’m comfy w someone. I’m cynical, competitive and a perfectionist. I’m selectively hardworking only for things which I care about though, otherwise I’m just lazy af. Brain on overdrive. Openminded. Socially and emotionally awkward. I dislike attention but I dare to be outspoken when necessary. Confident about everything except looks. I only show my mature intellectual side to close friends.

I’m realistic although I prefer to keep my head in the clouds when it’s TMTH. Hard to earn my trust but loyal for life and I’m only nice to people who are worth it. I love intelligent, witty, offensive humor. My mind’s too dirty for my own good. I’m sadistic. I swear lots. Assertive but willing to compromise. Honest+sarcastic. Animal lover, music buff, tech geek, wanderlust. Too many hobbies. I love fantasy, horror, thriller, comedy, history, romance.

My fave subjects are humanities, languages - especially English, art, music, lunch break, when the school ends and science. I hate maths lmfao. I enjoy watching most anime genres except scifi, action, isekai, unnecessary ecchi/hentai fanservice in an otherwise good series eg. shokugeki no soma, drama and tragedy.

I change my hair color often; it’s currently red. Black eyes. No makeup besides lip balm, fragrances and nail polish. Multiple piercings and tattoos. My fashion style’s a mix of casual, goth/ic, grunge, hiphop, punk, rock and street. Thanks!

~~~

a/n: hi babes ! ofc it’s no problem, i’m happy to help :) i hope you like your ship 😌

your ship is ...

tetsurou kuroo .

☆ honestly ??

☆ i see you vibing with kuroo 🥺

☆ he absolutely loves your tattoos :) 

☆ one day when you both are cuddling and he’ll be tracing your arm or running his hands through your hair and he’ll ask you to tell him about your tattoos (when you’re comfortable ofc)

☆ lowkey can see you guys getting matching tattoos 

☆ in LOVE with your style, he thinks it looks bomb asf on you

☆ he hates, hates hates hATES it when you feel insecure about yourself he’d do anything to help and comfort you

☆ definitely having anime cuddle sessions after practice or on his days off

☆ god you both have a dirty mind and sometimes i feel it’ll escalate 👀 if you know what i mean

☆ anyways

☆ kuroo could listen to you talk about your favorite things for actual HOURS

☆ you’d be talking about literally anything and this boy would be lost in your eyes

☆ this man is so smitten for you i-

☆ it’s the little things that does it for him

☆ he’s not extremely observant but kuroo picks up on some of your mannerisms and overall he thinks that it’s adorable

☆ the absolute king of neck and forehead kisses 😤😤

☆ kuroo will randomly come up behind you, wrap his arms around you and either rest his head on your shoulder or head. no matter what you’re doing its one of his favorite things to do adicjicdls

[zamancollective]

The Constructive Agony of Talking Politics at Shabbat (Or How to Survive a Debate with Your Relatives) 

By Gabriella Kamran  

Illustration by Sophie Levy

I wasn’t yet 20 years old and I had already forgotten what it felt like to join my relatives for Shabbat dinner and eat brisket without a side of political commentary. Was that a new phenomenon? Was I too busy spitting tomatoes into napkins as a child that I didn’t notice the moral axioms being thrown above my head? Regardless, charged conversation after charged conversation gradually emerged from background noise while I chewed to a dynamic that captured my interest and charted the course of my intellectual development. 

It seems accurate to say that I entered the fray around the same time I started buying my own clothes. These were the early teenage years: I was testing the waters of feminism, experimenting with political Facebook posts, and learning that not everything I believe to be true is, in fact, the truth. Every young person has a moment of realization that adults can sometimes be profoundly wrong. Mine took place gradually over a series of weekly dinners, as my male relatives argued and I felt an arsenal of my own opinions weighing in my chest. 

I will say with no qualifiers that it is difficult for a fourteen-year-old girl to wedge herself into a conversation with several adult men. First, there is the issue of a quiet voice, not yet amplified by the support of social affirmation. Then there is the matter of being taken seriously — that is, the unspoken surprise that I was not in the living room talking to my girl cousins about nail polish. 

(The aunts, for their part, either ladled soup in the kitchen or listened at the table, inserting a comment when appropriate. For a long time, I interpreted their disinterest as ignorance or resignation to gender norms, but with maturity one gets better at recognizing weariness. I remember once my jaw dropped when a cousin’s grandmother expressed a political opinion out loud- something about Hillary’s foreign policy. I hated myself for being so shocked that she’d have something to say.) 

I learned quickly that family debate is rocky terrain. The post-meal discussion usually unfolded as follows: 

Man 1: This ObamaCare is going to put doctors out of business, I’m telling you. 

Man 2: Just awful. The liberals are pushing us towards socialism. Aunt: We’re just giving more and more money to the lazy bums. Me: What about the majority of poor people who aren’t lazy and were born into poverty? I don’t think anyone genuinely wants to be on welfare. 

Man 2: Oh, no. We send our kids to the conservative schools and they still get brainwashed by liberals. 

Man 1: Question everything your teachers tell you, Gabs. They have an agenda. An agenda. 

Alternatively, the “elders” card was pulled and the conversation stopped short: 

Me: I don’t think you should call people _____ 

Relative: You can’t speak to me like that. How can you disrespect your family?

The more politically conscious I became, the more these dinners began to wear on my nerves. At school, I was learning so much I could almost feel my mind growing into itself. The classic teenage practice of finding oneself was in full force for me as I wrote school newspaper op-eds in my successive editor positions and defined myself in the lines of my rhetoric. Dinner with relatives sucked this pride out of my chest and pulled the plug on my budding confidence. I oscillated between righteous indignation that prompted me to sit firmly in place when the political debate started during our meal and outright fear that anyone would ask me at any point in the night about something of more import than my week’s activities. Family dinners became a matter of fight or flight.  

I took refuge in journalism and books. They seemed to possess more certainty than my relatives’ armchair sociological analyses. I read Betty Friedan, Ta Nehisi Coates, Ari Shavit… and the fact that I considered these all to be radical texts is indicative of how intimidated I felt in political terms. My progressive ideals were no longer inclinations; I could use words like “neoliberal” and “reactionary” to match my relatives’ rhetorical skill. Vocabulary aside, however, a gulf persisted between me and some of the men in my family.

What was this gulf, exactly? Was it a generational gap? Surely an ideological divide existed between every new crop of cousins, fathers and daughters, uncles and nieces. Common wisdom dictates that naïve youth will always be more progressive and open-minded than their older counterparts. It seemed to me, though, that something more was at play here. These Shabbat dinners meant more than a blasé tidal shift in opinions, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. 

The time came for me to go to college, and I was surrounded for the first time by a collection of politically conscious people who had enough intellectual acuity to rigorously critique the elder generation’s values. 

I met friends who told me their grandparents were “hella liberal” and still smoked weed on the weekends, and I beheld these friends in awe. This must have been the diversity they extolled in admissions brochures, the expansion of horizons — but which one of us was living in a bubble? Then there were the students who seemed to have swallowed their relatives’ platitudes like pills, rolling their eyes when they passed a student protest or snickering at T.A.’s requests to state our preferred gender pronouns. These students made me the most uneasy.  

Mostly, though, college brought me a network of friends who shared my experience. By this time we had all developed standby strategies to deal with opinionated table talk: some blocked out the rhetoric and ate their khoresht in peace, and some, like me, often ventured back into the weekly scuffles like moths to a partisan flame.  

But, of course, it was more than righteous indignation that pulled me back into the tides of argument. The supposed radical leftist hegemony on college campuses gave my relatives plenty of dinner table fodder on the nights when I made the ten-minute journey from my dorm to their dining rooms. They particularly liked to raise an issue with my chosen minor, Gender Studies, which they denounced as man-hating. As they prodded me about my professors in order to attack their liberal agendas, I felt the familiar nagging anxiety: Was the leftist haven I found in college making me tone-deaf, insular under the pretense of high-minded morality? I felt obligated to listen to every dismissal of Hillary Clinton, every racial slur, and every condemnation of Islam. This was my internal protest at their accusations of narrow-mindedness. 

I still wondered what was really new in our political conversations. Topics had changed — Obama and McCain became Hillary and Trump, Al Qaeda became ISIS, gay became LGBTQIA+ — but the emotions I had as a young progressive facing several elder conservatives were constant. What were we all feeling during those semi-heated exchanges? We one-upped each other and attacked arguments at weak points, but what was the seed of all this debate? Perhaps it was a sense of familial betrayal. 

We swear to keep family and business separate but there is no such promise when it comes to politics, although we know they are equally divisive. “The personal is political” is also true in reverse — to disparage someone’s worldview is an affront to their world. Political standpoints are currents that run deeper than the surface waters of opinion. Debate is healthy and insult is not, and the line between them is fine. 

One August night before my freshman year of college, one family member reminded me once again to question everything my professors would tell me.  

“These are a different kind of people. Really liberal. They don’t think like us.” 

I wondered briefly what he meant by “us,” considering our often radically divergent opinions. He had been at the dinner table all these years — could it be that he never truly listened to me? 

My cousin leaned toward me, interrupting my thoughts. 

“Or you could come back from college a flaming liberal, and we’ll still love you.”

 I was struck by the resonance of my cousin’s joke, and I still think about it often. By the very merit of calling one another family, we make an implicit promise to stand by one another and love unconditionally – that is, regardless of ideology. When we sit across the dining room table, embroidered white tablecloth stretching between us, and launch attacks intended not to teach, not to strengthen, but to change, there is a sense of combat that doesn’t belong in a family. These mealtime political debates are not a leisurely pastime but a battle driven by an attempt to win, and to win means to vanquish. Hovering over the platters of chicken and tadig is an intention to change one another, and the promise of loyalty feels contingent upon your next comeback.  

Isn’t that what families do, though? We change each other. Any amateur psychologist will tell you that our personalities begin at home. Parents, and to an extent other relatives, are charged with the responsibility of edifying their children. It takes a village, and a large part of this is the admonitions and proverbs of the villagers. Perhaps my relatives feel this weight of social obligation propelling them forward as they critique my beliefs. They crave my confirmation that they are succeeding in their efforts. Maybe when I push back and hold my own, they feel some kind of failure. 

There’s a Jewish parable in which a sage, faced with a crowd of scholars who disagree with his judgment, asks God to determine who is correct. God declines to comment. The wise men debate and eventually move forward with a decision. From heaven, God laughs with joy: “My sons have defeated me!” 

The goal of true mentorship has never been indoctrination. Young people look to their beloved elders to create some kind of safe space to learn to walk, to stumble, to mess up. The goal is that eventually, the pupil becomes the teacher. A student who recites their teachers’ talking points is a student lost.  

Through the ages, a 7 p.m. roundtable over plates of freshly-cooked dinner has been the family’s classroom. The curriculum is set by the routine inquiries of “What did you learn at school today?” and, “How was work?” Some families study in groups of three, and some are lucky enough to learn alongside dozens. I should hope that men in my family take enough interest in my growth to stretch my mind and challenge my thinking. So, too, should they hope I prove them wrong sometimes. 

[gratiasancti]

100 PERSONAL QUESTIONS

because @ineffablequestion​ decided to really put my patience to the test today . not that i mind , ily .

1. What is your middle name ?

maria 

2. How old are you ?

23 as of right now !

3. When is your birthday?

oct. 19th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

libra waddup

5. What is your favorite color?

i don’t really have one ? muted colours probably

6. What’s your lucky number?

again, can’t say i have one but maybe 29

7. Do you have any pets?

a dod and a horse

8. Where are you from?

finland / uk

9. How tall are you?

174 cm

10. What shoe size are you?

eu 39-40

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

like seven, if you don’t count my collection of riding shoes and boots. oxfords, brogues, wellies, trainers, and the rest are probably heels. as for riding boots, a lot.

12. What was your last dream about?

that i was late from work and got thrown in a tar pit because of it. and then i sold my old history teacher 500€ worth of alcohol and lottery tickets.

13. What talents do you have?

none?? unlimited sarcasm, idk

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i’m not sure if i believe in this stuff

15. Favorite song?

honestly, anything from hippo campus or glass animals.

16. Favorite movie?

the grand budapest hotel

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who counteracts some of my anxiety and excitedness with a calm and, when needed, firm character but is still funny and can be themselves. preferably someone who i feel is my intellectual equal, and we can share everything with each other. maybe a bit older than myself, but not by much. other than that, i really don’t care.

18. Do you want children?

currently, i can’t see myself ever having kids. just doesn’t seem like my thing. especially babies. maybe adopting or fostering could be an option, but only if i was sure i could give the child a good home.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i don’t think i want to get married

20. Are you religious?

not particularly

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

maaaaaaany times. multiple riding accidents, broken bones, a car crash. then just being an idiot in general. and chronic back problems.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

apart from once forgetting to pay for the underground and getting an 80€ fine, no.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

i’ve met and had dinner with two different finnish presidents and some other ‘upper class’ people but other than that, no. 

24. Baths or showers?

one of those rain shower things

25. What color socks are you wearing?

i have no socks !!!

26. Have you ever been famous?

uhhhh not in the literal sense of the word but i’ve been infamous at school when i was like 15. made a meme of one of our teachers that went low key viral in our city.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

definitely not in the hollywood sense of things. 

28. What type of music do you like?

a lot of things. anything, really, depending on the time of day and if i’m feeling particularly emo.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

that’s like the only type of swimming finnish people partake in. naked in the sauna, naked in the lake/ocean. so yes, multiple times a year jhdsnhb

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

currently like five

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

either on my back or on my stomach. depends on what place hurts that day lmao.

32. How big is your house?

closer to 400 m^2 . i still live with my parents but will move into my own flat in six months, once it’s ready. that’s going to be appx 70 m^2.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i know its a bad habit but i often dont have breakfast. if i do it's usually fruit and yoghurt or some toast.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

yes

35. Have you ever tried archery?

yes. fun fact; my cousin has won the european championchip ( in some form of archery idk ) like twice , i think. 

36. Favorite clean word?

defenestrate

37. Favorite swear word?

fuck. i use it Too Much™

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

can’t remember the exact amount of hours but we were sailing and our shifts got messed up to the point where i had either not slept at all or slept so little in like four days i was genuinely hallucinating. almost jumped into the sea because i thought i dropped my life vest,,, which i was wearing.

39. Do you have any scars?

a few. dumbest one probably when i rode in my shorts but used a saddle and rubbed the skin off of my calf. also from hay work, those little dots that look almost like moles.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

not that i know of

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, unfortunately. it’s a bad habit in the sense that i tell a lot of white lies when i could genuinely tell the truth with no consequence. like, it would be the one and the same.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

also yes. i’ve seen some shit. also i have surprisingly good people skills.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i can speak english in my normal accent which is kind of queen’s english (?) upper class idk, then in world’s english ( so basically no accent / neutral ) and then in finnish (rally) english .  i can also speak swedish with a rikssvenska (standard swedish ???) accent and then finlandssvenska which is finnish swedish (and an actual thing lmao). also i can butcher a norwegian or danish accent in swedish if i really try. my finnish is very neutral, but it does vary a bit depending on what city i’m in.

oh, and also a shitty southern american accent. 

44. Do you have a strong accent?

if i let it shine through, yes, but i tend toward world english because anything else scares finns. but when i speak finnish (which is most of the time) i don’t really have an accent. maybe you can hear that i’m not 100% finnish but that’s about it.

45. What is your favorite accent?

i don’t really have one ! all accents are really fascinating.

46. What is your personality type?

entj-a

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

i have a few expensive dresses, and then of course my riding clothes which cost ridiculous amounts of money because fuck everyone who likes horses, i guess. like excuse me but why is it normalised that you pay over 1000€ for a helmet??? anything less and you’re a peasant.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

mmmmyeah. 

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie!

50. Left or right handed?

pretty much ambidextrous, though i prefer to write with my left but do everything else mostly with my right. my handwriting doesn’t differ too much from left to write.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

yes. ew. and we’re lucky to only have tiny ones in finland !

52. Favorite food?

ummmmm. currently carelian pie maybe?? idk such a good snack.

53. Favorite foreign food?

squints??? sushi????

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

depends. often too lazy to clean but incredibly stressed and uncomfortable when its messy. meticulous about all the wrong things.

55. Most used phrase?

either some form of keysmash or “FUCK”. also in finnish either “voi jumalauta” or “voi saatana” which both basically translate to “jesus fucking christ”.

56. Most used word?

also fuck. this really must say something about me smdh.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

really depends. sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes two hours. on a normal day w/ shower and moderate make up, 15-25 minutes.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

depends really. i hope i don’t!

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

whomst the FUCK bites lollipops ?!?!?!

60. Do you talk to yourself?

i’ve only recently started. it’s terrifying.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

when driving if i’m listening to music, yeah

62. Are you a good singer?

honestly, no clue. i don’t really sing in front of people so i haven’t gotten opinions.

63. Biggest Fear?

failure.

64. Are you a gossip?

not about my friends, ever. but i will definitely listen to any tea you want to spill.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk does kingsman count as dramatic?? the first one was hilarious.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

both have their perks!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

LMAO i can name like 3 if i really try.

68. Favorite school subject?

history, english lang & lit, economics.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

extrovert but i get tired easily

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

yes ! we go to the maldives once in a while, because finland doesn’t offer much in terms of diving sites.

71. What makes you nervous?

not a lot of things? i guess some responsibilities. things left for me to do even if someone else was supposed to do them.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

a dark room ? no. a dark forest at midnight ? hell yess. finnish winter darkness is terrifying simply because its so depressing. seasonal depression is real yall.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends. if it’s a trivial mistake and they haven’t asked to be corrected, no. if it makes me or someone else feel bad or just makes any situation worse, then yes. but never unkindly.

74. Are you ticklish?

YES. ugh

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

no. i can’t recall doing so, at least. but i have participated in spreading them.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

yes. at work a couple of times simply out of necessity and also when i took part in MEP. was committee president twice and president of the general assembly once. though idk if that counts since i was like 17 and its all p much play pretend.

oh! and also when i captain our boat. but again, idk if that counts.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeah, ever since i was like 16 :/

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no, and never will. not my thing !!

79. Who was your first real crush?

probably a boy from class. i can’t remember, really. i’ve never been too  ‘romantically inclined’ i  suppose.

80. How many piercings do you have?

just my ears, once.

81. Can you roll your Rs?

almost every r in the finnish language is technically rolled so yeah. i feel bad for those finnish people who cant !! makes everything so hard.

82. How fast can you type?

according to this thing 75 words per minute on my first try, so idk how accurate that is.

83. How fast can you run?

not fast. i  hate running, and am very out of practice. 

84. What color is your hair?

idk ? like, light brown ?

85. What color are your eyes?

again, idk. blue/green/grey

86. What are you allergic to?

dogs, cats, birch, and almost anything that flowers in the spring jshbdsjh

87. Do you keep a journal?

not a journal per se but i have a ‘little black book’ which i keep rather meticulously about my thoughts on the day, important things i need to remember, my expenses etc. a habit inherited from my dad. i’ve gone through like six of these in the past few years.

88. What do your parents do?

my mum is a mayor and my dad is a ceo

89. Do you like your age?

yeah !

90. What makes you angry?

injustice.

91. Do you like your own name?

yes !

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

ksjdsjhb no. at this rate i’d end up naming a child crowley or sum shit

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i don’t want kids but if i did gender would be a non issue

94. What are you strengths?

lmao i have good people skills, work well under pressure, get along with everyone, am determined and ?? a good leader??? idk

95. What are your weaknesses?

i take on too much responsibility, i have anxiety and depression, i get frustrated at my own failures, i’m very self-critical and unforgiving. also no self-control when it comes to rp.

96. How did you get your name?

i think somewhere from my dad’s side, not entirely sure.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

possibly? not sure. but fun fact! a great great grandmother (? or something of the sorts) from my mother’s side actually survived the sinking of the titanic.

98. Do you have any scars?

wasn’t this asked already?

99. Color of your bedspread?

this blue mandala like pattern idk

100. Color of your room?

white and a very mellow blue

[changji]

(1/6 again go figure) Deep cleaning on the carpet... can’t relate my school is so broke it hurts. Also showers in the morning? Can’t relate also I always shower at night 🤧 honestly I feel like getting bit by a vampire is better,, like at least you turn into one yourself and get all these Cool Powers. But mosquitos? All you get is an itchy lump that stays for a while

(2/6) Ohh I haven’t been to the ocean since last August and I just want to swim 🥺 but then again the ocean is so Salty which probably explains why I’m really salty as well... I just blew my own mind lmaoo

(3/6) Hot coffee?? I would never omg. I was at Starbucks today and everyone was getting hot coffees and I was like ??? It’s 30°/86°??? I usually get a iced latte with two shots of espresso. Sometimes with almond milk bc my body doesn’t like to cooperate with me sometimes. What about you?

(4/6) Ice cream place... yum. Imagine all the discounts on good ice cream 🤤🤤 birks are really out here trying to support you with the two left shoes. Speaking of which, did you get a right shoe yet? Haha I didn’t hurt myself (surprisingly) so pls save your punches for the next oopsie i do. Honestly I can’t really tell the difference between good and fake maple syrup,, like it all just tastes the same LOL

(5/6) Well yes there is an accent on it since it’s french but I never put it on bc I’m certified Lazy. Autocorrect just seemed to have my back the one time I typed Montréal. Omg it happened again maybe it’s my french keyboard jumping out at me?? Your friend is an intellectual I could never. I used to be able to name all the states but now I only know the major ones 💀

(6/6) Idk what peets is but I’m assuming it’s a coffee shop? And drawing?? You, miss, are very talented drawing is so hard sksks post the drawing u coward 😤

-

i live in a rich-ish area bc all the tech companies are located here,, i swear rent is so expensive my friend pays 10k a month for a 3 bedroom mediocre apartment 😒 my school has a lot of funding and we all have our computers,,, even tho they suck and i don’t use it LOL but i wanna be a vampire let me find my eternal love like bella and edward 🤧

i hate swimming hhh like i’m good at it (good enough.) and i can save myself but i’d rather just sit in the 3 foot section,, esp bc i drown in anything deeper LOL,, it’s okay we stan a Salty Queen

hot coffee is horrible unless it’s like,, 50-60°/10-15° and the only reason i drink it is bc i don’t wanna just put ice in hot coffe from the pot when my aunt just makes some in the morning. hot coffee tho is like a sin. and omg ur like, my soulmate 🤧 i also get an iced latte! i usually get 2 shots but i occasionally get 3 shots bc i love me my caffeine. but sometimes if i want something sweet i get an iced vanilla latte with blonde shots, you should try it!

i wanna work at the ice cream place but the air conditioning is like, permanently broken. i’m really good at making smoothies though and the ice cream place has those,,, i’m like the professional ice cream scooper in my family bc everyone else is lazy. next time if u hurt urself i’ll punch everyone on earth and then myself so don’t i might be weak but that means my punches are strong to me 😤 i don’t think i’ve ever had real maple syrup? maybe once but like, probably not oops

ooh french can’t relate i’m taking spanish and i’m bad at it. even tho ilonggo is really close i just suck LOL honestly he is hella smart and it makes me anna cry like i said the capital of hawaii is hawaii and he gave me the Most Judgmental Look ever and i almost cried

PEETS IS ONLY THE BEST COFFEE SHOP I KNOW AHHHH just imagine starbucks but a stronger brew. it’s amazing. and omg 🤭 my queen 🤧 and idol 🥰 telling me i’m talented??? I COULD NEVER,, miss ada ily 💗💞💗💕💖 also i will post it when i figure out how to draw stupid lips