#but i still don't want them to become a couple as its probably too damn difficult by now and the manga was never romance-oriented anyways | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thesamoanqueen · 5 months ago

Text

Blackwater XX

Warnings/AN: I should apologize for the drama but its my trademark at this point, I'll just say that there's a flashback and a couple of references to previous chapters. As soon as possible I'll create a masterlist dedicated to the series, because I have contents that I want to add since we are at the end. Lemme know if someone wants a tag there too~

Trouble ahead.

He showed up unexpectedly, grumbling about the mud that had gotten on his expensive shoes, the usual penguin-like gait and Jimmy rolled his eyes, waiting for him to finally reach them because they couldn't have continued at all if he was around. And it had nothing to do with a tactical move to hide plan from the enemy, it was simply impossible to ignore or avoid Paul Heyman and if once Jimmy would have laughed, now Paul was just annoying and the expression on Jey's face proved it.

- "Nice place, in your style" – he commented, without greeting or trying to pretend too much – "reminds me the days I used to come visit your dad, both of you were three, four maybe" – and Jimmy folded his arms.

Sure, their style wasn't their cousin's luxury stuff, the one Paul had accustomed him to. At that moment he was probably having breakfast in a restaurant downtown or a sauna to cool down his muscles, but he too had cut his teeth at the garage near Oak Wood Hills. Jimmy still remembered the afternoons spent there after school to see the red Jeep Cherokee that Roman had become obsessed with, he bought the damn car as soon as Uncle Sika came back from one of his trips and now instead he drove around in black businessman's SUVs and looking after the community with checks he couldn't spend on himself.

- "Did you get lost Og? Want me to call your daddy so he can pick you up?" – he asked and Paul must have had colic judging by his reaction.

- "No. Im here to talk."

- "Wow really?! Mind-blowing!"

The colic became a reproachful look at his sarcasm, but still Jimmy was not impressed and when Jey decided to come closer to support him, Paul wisely quit, once again showing off the best acting skills to save his ass.

- "Even though I remember what was said at the meeting, Im here with good intentions. Of course, it hurt me if I have to tell the truth, I don't understand where the aversion against me comes from... but despite this I couldn't refuse in my heart to help" – he began and Jimmy blinked confused.

- "Have you had a heart transplant?" – he urged, matching his attitude.

Paul didn't take that joke well either, but he had nothing to complain about, everyone knew how things were. The wiseman didn't help anyone if he didn't have something back, goodness was not among his qualities and it was impossible he had found some of it within himself now that he was personally involved. His feelings worked on command, according to occasion and business.

- "He thinks I'm dumb ass" – Jey said out of nowhere, staring at him.

He had crossed the edge since the boys' were dragged into the family mess and now his goal was just putting an end to it all. For him that war was an unbearable burden, Jimmy knew how he was, he knew Jey just wanted to start over, have some peace and he didn't like Paul's fake visit because it also added provocation to his worries. He would probably have put up with Roman, but not Paul, Paul wasn't family to him and those turns of phrase were making him nervous.

He heard the wiseman noises, trying to stay in control even though Jey's gaze didn’t help his attempts.

- "What? No, of course not, I’d never think bad about you! The Tribal Chief had chosen you as his right-hand man, a fool would not have had such an honor or right to speak in family business."

He thinks we're both dumb.

That stunt pushed Jimmy to clench his fists in annoyance, but didn't have time to silence Paul because his brother really didn't seem in the mood that day and had come forward again.

- "I had no right. He take all the decisions, with you, from day one."

He hadn't been around when that deal or alliance or whatever it was between him and Roman had come about, he'd been forced away from home for months, but Jey was there and kept him updated on everything. They had kept him on the sidelines of the family business from the beginning and the right-hand man title with their tricks had become a joke they made real when it suited them. Jey had taken it seriously despite everything, he had committed to the vision and tried, but it only make him run everywhere and get beaten. When Jimmy came back everything was already done and things had even gotten worse after.

- "Jey…" - he heard Paul negotiating trying to slow things down, realizing maybe that his sweet words were no longer having the planned effect - "when you're at the top you often find yourself in unpleasant situations, it's not for everyone, you're starting to understand it too how it is bearing the weight of that position. At the meeting you made some choices... let's say questionable ones... listening an advice would have been right for you if I may, to judge pros and cons. I'm here to offer you a second chance, I care about you even if you don’t care about the wiseman."

Jimmy hadn't expected his brother to discuss those terms in front of the elders, it had been strange and even he had been amazed, because Jey hadn't talked to him first about anything. But whatever plan he had if he had one, leaving a door open for Solo and even Y/N, Jey didn't need any second chances, especially not thanks to Paul. Jimmy was there to cover his back and it would always be like this, he didn't need counselors and dogs licking his feet to sleep better at night.

I can handle him.

His offer echoed through the link, but Jey didn't answer.

- "I know you're angry now and maybe it won't seem that way, but all this will help you, trust me it can be good for you, it's part of your journey to take the place of the Tribal Chief one day" – he persisted and Jimmy decided to step forward, ready to send him back to where he came from with good ass kick.

- "Imma take his place next week" – Jey stopped him, voice far too calm.

The day. It was just a week away. At the dawn after the harvest moon things would no longer be the same. Jimmy had been hoping for a change for years now, in the last few months he had chased it like a breath of air, now that was so close it was an almost surreal feeling, but Jey already seemed in control and ready.

- "It could happen... of course..." - Paul hesitated, avoiding answering to Jey push - "its essential, however, that the family is preserved and all of this, lemme tell you, is a dangerous gamble now. The elders have agreed to restore order, but we're all worried about what will happen next, them, me, your parents, even Y/N... poor girl, she can't rest knowing what’s going on and what could come" - he tried, pulling out an apologetic face that he could have avoid considering what relationship he had with Y/N.

- "None of them should be. The only one who needs to worry is you, because when I'm done, you'd better be far away. Bring back your advice, speeches and ass to my cousin, Og, don’t make say it twice" – Jey quickly silenced him though, stopping his tantrum by placing a hand on his shoulder.

Jimmy watched him stiffen as if someone had growled at him, face pale and shaken, his gaze going from Jey's fingers to eyes, which had been fixed on him from the moment he showed up. The realization of failure hit him right in front of them, a mixture of affront, anxiety and worry that Jimmy watched Paul shake off in the same way as Jey's hand, scrambling a few steps back to make room between them. He nodded to who knows who, body shaking as he sorted out his expensive clothes and pride.

The harvest moon was near, so their mother said. That year it was time to reap what they had sown.

***

Devil's Point, that's what the sign they passed on the way said and it really must have been one of devil’s tricks, because Y/N felt her stomach flipped. Or maybe wasn't the devil, maybe it was just another perfect date, pleasant anxiety, wine and fresh air caressing her warm face, sun slowly sinking beyond the strip of sand and trees, setting the sky on fire. Maybe the devil was Roman, with his gentleman manner, so confident, constantly eyeing her, always attentive, his low velvet voice. The bond had always been there, in her veins, in her bones. An invisible impulse born with them, as their lives went on and years passed, omnipresent, indissoluble, inevitable despite miles and obstacles. And more Y/N lingered in that trap easier it seemed to fall, normal deserving the life she hadn't had, a security she didn't know and now all around her, emanating from Roman.

Where has he been all this time? We were alone…

- "Have you ever looked for me?" – she asked out of nowhere, putting the dessert away.

A chocolate cake, because it was her favorite and he worked hard to please her, learning quickly and put into practice even the most insignificant details.

Roman looked surprised at the change of subject, putting down his glass.

- "Have you ever looked for me before that evening, when you found me at the camping?" – she asked again, feeling anxiety suddenly hit even though it had been her idea to investigate, happiness quickly dissolve into doubts.

Y/N didn't even know why she asked. It was an uncomfortable question, the search for a mate was a now past custom, too low probabilities and a world where alternatives had now become norm. It was stupid to expect something and unnecessarily provocative, what's more in their case, after all the first few months problems, it sounded a bit like an accusation or an attempt to ruin plans. Roman however didn't lose his composure and she saw him take a deep breath, brow furrowed as he remembered.

- "Years ago. When I finished college, did it for a while, then stopped."

- "Why?"

He looked at her in silence, but he didn't seem angry or bothered.

She needed to hear it, to know.

- "… had become frustrating. I needed to focus on what I could accomplish."

So real. So true.

Few could say they were lucky enough to find their other half. Rare cases, exceptions. Was it sad to meet someone, choose them and fit in? No, most people out there did it like that, she herself had witnessed it with her parents before the horror, but sometimes people couldn't even find someone, sometimes they were not chosen or stopped wanting each other and then yes, it became sad. For Y/N having someone in her life had never been an aspiration, a dream to cherish when night became too cold or silence too heavy. Getting attached was a risk, risks were dangerous and in her case, as an omega, alone and without a family or a community, it was better to avoid rather than defend. She had to be smart, loneliness had kept her alive, had kept her going, was the possibility of filling the void that scared Y/N. It scared her to get used to someone and lose everything again. She knew what Roman was talking about, a perpetual aftertaste on her lips when she moved away from a place and now she was founding out that she had never really been alone. She had always had a chance, someone waiting for her, ready to fill that void that for Y/N had become like an old illness she lived with.

Roman had been looking for her, among so many people, even if only for a while he really had and it was… so reassuring.

- "You didn't" – she heard him reflect, moving closer to put his jacket on her shoulders.

There was knowledge in his voice, a heavy bitterness, as if he didn't need to hear Y/N say it. She watched him take another sip of wine to warm himself or perhaps wash away the taste of that thought, enduring the cool evening for her.

- "I did it once… just once" – she admitted, surprising him and even herself.

She had never thought about that day before, but memory had hit her soon through her she-wolf, perhaps to console him. She didn’t like that look on his face, he was better all cocky and flirting.

- "I have been in foster care for couple of years after I lost my parents. I went from one house to another, it didn't work and I really didn't want to stay. There was a brunette white girl in one of the families, she didn't like me, talking behind my back all the time... I told her I’d find you and make her regret it" – she said, shaking her head at the thought of that childish menace.

Y/N didn't remember the reason for their fight, it could have been anything, she was an unbearable girl herself at the time, but she knew how she had felt. It was vivid in her memory. That sense of not belonging, absolute loneliness, anger, so much anger at the idea of being and being able to be just a stray in the future. The world is too big a place when life decides to give its worst lessons. Y/N had always grown up quickly, she had always learned running, what to be without roots, what to do if there is no one waiting.

- "We can pay her a visit" – Roman proposed casually and Y/N stared at him, because of all the things he could have said, she hadn't expected that.

No pitying comments, no words of comfort or judgement, just a blind complicit willingness to indulge her past madness.

- "Mmh I'm tempted" – she giggled softly.

- "What happened?" – heard him ask and pointed to her arm, where there was a scar similar to the one he had.

- "I stole her dad’s car and destroyed their fence" - she said, making him frown.

She had gotten into that pick-up without knowing how to drive or what to do, it didn’t end well, they caught her immediately and in hurry she had taken everything and everyone down. One of the poles around property had broken the pick-up window and the wire wrapped around it had threatened to blow her arm off, it was a miracle she hadn't fainted there. One of the biggest dumb act of her life and at the same time another lesson, proving Y/N she shouldn't be carried away by her omega impulses, it didn't bring anything good.

- "I stayed in town for a while I think, then left without looking back. I have no idea what happened to the pick-up or her. I didn't find you though... it was enough for me."

Admitting it, thinking about it, made her feel vulnerable. She didn't like that feeling. That attempt had been a failure from the start, chances of meeting him simply by walking a few miles, going to any city, any street, had been zero and even if he had been there, messed up as she was by pain, Y/N wouldn't even know she had found him. She had been stupid, irresponsible, mindless but realizing when it got dark she was still hopelessly alone had been worse.

She shrugged, picking up the dessert to distract and control herself.

It was over now.

- "We'll make things right, you have my word. It will be enough to be together, there's no need to think about it" – she heard Roman assure, once again without excuses or pity, firm in his intentions – "no more car rides though"– he added with a reproachful look that made her smile.

No, there was no need to think about the past. Everything had already changed and Y/N had learned her lesson, but maybe it was time to learn something else, trying not to run away this time. It seemed easy at the time and yes it really all came down to being enough for each other, filling the void with their bond.

For days Roman's routine had always been the same, calculated to the second, with no margin for error or change. He woke up before dawn, shower, breakfast and run, spend the morning in the gym, then lunch and gym again until dinner time, after which he lock himself in the office taking care of the documents Paul brought or business that required his supervision, and then join her in bed when it was already late night and repeat everything the next day. He was locked in a bubble, focused on a single goal, counting minutes, preparing in advance for whatever would or could happen. An absolute, maniacal dedication that Y/N somehow admired. It made her proud to see that he was capable of so much and yet it also made her sad.

Because in the wild run of that family war, she was just a spectator. She repeated to herself that she had to be patient, be understanding, that she had to put aside anxieties and bad moods to support him as better as she could, but it weighed on her. She did whatever not to show it, not to think about it, and despite her efforts Y/N felt everything around her emptying and cooling, her sacrifices devalued and even ignored. They almost didn’t speak to each other anymore and certainly not about what they should have because there was no time for doing it, they didn’t spend together and when that happened he was focused on something else, Y/N had the feeling of having gone back to the days when they were two strangers, two separate worlds united by a thin wire.

She didn't want that, they weren't like that, they had both worked hard to make things work, succeeding, they had truly found themselves at the end. The idea they were affecting their relationship, the possibility to distance themselves so bad to spend a life like that, wasn't something Y/N could bear. They had overcome differences, they shouldn't have burned everything because they didn't see things the same way in war where their relationship was not in play. They just had to meet once again and remember. He had taught her that and Y/N hadn't believed him for a long time, but they really needed their bond.

On the now empty table on the patio, she opened the floor plan of her old house, the one she had had to leave and Roman had given her back. It was nothing compared to what she had now, but it could become something, maybe just for them, a place where nothing and no one could disturb them.

***

Day after day his body pushed further and further, urged by pressure, focused on a single goal from which Roman couldn’t look away. He couldn't afford any mistakes with Jey, Roman knew he could beat him and he would, but his cousin knew him better than any other out there. They were certainly on two different levels, however Roman couldn't allow him to prove anything if he wanted to regain the absolute control that the elders had questioned due to too many mistakes in those months. And it was for these reasons that getting out of his head, stopping and having those breaks had become an annoying obligation that he fulfilled in the shortest time and avoiding any extra thoughts. Lose focus was a weakness, give ground an advantage, something he couldn't tolerate.

When he closed the door behind him, the house was silent as if he were the only one around. It had been like this for a long time, but time had passed. Now it wasn’t empty, Y/N was there and not finding her in the living room as had been the case for days forced him to follow her trail to the outside. He expected to find her busy, but not to see her with all those papers on the table.

Why is she looking at them? Why she got that floor plan again?! Stop her. Now.

- "What are you doing?" – he asked, voice heavy and she immediately raised her head with a weak smile, one that she could have addressed to anyone, not to him.

- "Nothing, I was waiting for you. Is it already time for your break?"

If it was an attempt to push away the conversation or pretend, it didn't work. He knew those documents, he had signed them and he had been clear telling her not to get any strange ideas about her family's old house, and yet she was there looking at them page by page at a moment like this.

- "I asked you what you think you are doing Y/N" – he repeated seriously, convincing her to put them down.

- "I was keeping myself busy while I waited for you to finish. I answered."

He saw Y/N keep her gaze on him, head held high, back straight, but Roman still sensed what was behind, tension, heavy air. It was since he said he would no longer have regrets that Roman had seen her react like this and in the last few days the atmosphere had gotten even worse. She didn't comment, didn't ask, she stopped trying to argue, she was good at not showing it, but his wolf could sense it when he lay down next to her at night, saw the way she looked at him. It wasn't a good idea for her to punish his cousins despite what they had done to him, she couldn't stand the prospect of a fight, she had promised to stand by his side no matter what and after a year she still rejected his mark when she shouldn't have even had to choose whether to have it or not, now she also took out the floor plan of her old house even though he had given her another one, one for them, better.

We told her not to act like this, she doesn't need that house. We did everything, we gave everything to her.

He had spent the last year dedicating himself to their bond, proving time and time again that he was worthy, that he would be a good mate for her, he was doing so even facing his own family. Shielding their future family even before their bloodline was born. Jey e Jimmy had ruined his plans, it wasn’t his fault, he was risking everything for what they would have built together, for their future. He had proven who he was, Y/N had to know, no one before him had ever achieved so much, no one would ever bear such a burden, there was no alpha out there on his level able to take care of her and anyone else. She couldn't think about them again, she couldn’t doubt, it was crazy!

- "What Im doing is to keep everything for us, protect what we have" – he explained to her for the umpteenth time, seeing Y/N stop that attempt of a smile understanding what direction their conversation was taking, as he approached the table.

He didn't like losing his temper with her, he didn't want to, but Y/N had a fastlane to pushing him in any situation and that was definitely the wrong one. Why she was throwing it in his face? At home, while he spent the days preparing to end the mess out there and start again together?!

- "You say it all the time, I know."

Her and her mouth…

- "Because that's the only thing that matters, not sitting here fantasizing about alternatives."

- "Ain't fantasizing about anything. You're so focused that we don't spend more than ten minutes together, I thought we could have a break for a bit, do something together when it's all over... but I guess it's a no if you react like that."

No, she couldn't blame him. This mess wasn't his fault, he was fixing it, it wasn't on him!

- "I don't have time to plan these things, not when I have all the work to do and problems keep piling up! I told you this too. You should have get it by now what has priority and instead we are here discussing because you keep putting these ideas in your head!"

- "My apologies, my Tribal Chief, is that good?" – he heard her reply, mocking him and he froze.

He looked at her angrily, as if they were back to the days when she couldn't stand him and he was always on the verge of exploding. He looked at her out of his mind, mouth twitching, but she wasn't even giving him attention, too busy keeping her eyes somewhere other than him, in an act of submission that was more a provocation than an apology. He ran a hand over his beard, clenching his jaw, but it was just too much and he lowered himself, leaning on the table to tower over her. Her scent, so familiar, usually so comforting, immediately filled his lungs, a regenerating peace that clashed with their fatigue and that Roman felt once more from Y/N, her body stiffening as soon as his breath hit her cheek.

He was the Tribal Chief and would remain so until God woke him up again. People out there could have planned trials, clashes, attacks, anything, nothing would have changed. But she was different, she was not one of those folks. Y/N might not have his mark, she might claim every freedom she wanted, Roman would put up with it to please her, to make her happy, because she deserved it, but still didn't change anything. They wouldn't go back to those hellish days where they were nothing.

- "I'm more than that to you" – he reminded, seeing her nod.

- "I know" – she replied immediately, finally turning around.

Her eyes, dark as the water of the river that ran through Roman’s land, almost seemed to suck him in. Two sharp chasms where he had looked for her for months, until found her huddled at the bottom waiting for him. Roman had dragged her out of there, he had given her everything, all of himself and he would do it again every day, without holding back or thinking about it and that was exactly why he was acting like that. If it wasn't for him, she would still be there, alone and with no future.

- "Make that stuff disappear before I do it" – he ordered, straightening up.

Y/N didn't move, her eyes still on him, as Roman decided he'd had enough of that pause, walking away. Her reaction reached him through the bond, when he crossed the threshold to go back inside: a mixture of anger, pain and sadness.

It hurts.

It hit him like a wave, alarming his wolf despite the fight, but it disappeared just as quickly, as if Y/N had wiped it away and Roman took a second to look at her through the windows, check, while she gathered everything on the table, head down and in silence.

He had to focus on what needed to be done. Distractions were just more problems.

We’re doing it for everyone. She will understand soon.

***

She had put everything back in his office, locking the desk drawer almost throwing away the key.

Why is he acting like this? What did we do wrong?

Her she-wolf felt confused, hurt and so was Y/N, with a good amount of anger on top of that. She was trying with all of herself, she was doing everything every day to make things work, to not disappoint him, to be up to the task, to not miss the opportunity for a good life. She had learned to ignore what didn't require a reaction, to be understanding when with anyone else would have freaked out, she was trying to be a better version of herself for her sake and for Roman. Was it such a bad idea? She knew Roman was fighting for their place, for his packland, but she hadn't suggested to leave everything and disappear, she would never have done it because she knew what it meant, she just thought they might have a safe space somewhere else... in a future less sad and complicated. That house was important to Y/N, she wanted to do her part, help, give back doing something like Roman had done with the house they lived in now, share.

It's already his though.

His property... that's why he snapped?

Roman had considered it a waste of time, a fantasy to be put away... after all, why he should pay attention to something no one wanted to take away at that moment? something far from his family war, from the packland. It already belonged to him, her she-wolf was right to justify him, Y/N had pushed him first, there was nothing to share or fix there and Jimmy's words came back to her mind. She had thought about doing something for them and instead she had really wasted time.

“The house… you bought it to give her nowhere to run away from you.”

It was a gift. For us.

Roman had said so and Y/N had felt so special. But it had his name on it, everything, every sheet of paper.

He wanted to make us happy. The best for us.

“I don't want you to go there, okay? This is your place now, it's your home and you have to stay here. But one day maybe we can fix it and go together.”

One day. Maybe…

Together.

Maybe? now the memory sounded like a dad tricking his daughter into not throwing a tantrum.

Smell of aftershave mixed with something familiar distracted Y/N, reminding her that she was still in the office and she turned to stare at the door just before seeing Paul arrive with a folder of documents in his arms.

- "Y/N! I thought you were out for one of your runs" – he said after a second too long, tone surprised and suspicious, as he looked at her standing there –"… you alright? "

No one was allowed to go upstairs unless it was necessary, but business those days seemed a matter of life and death, so it was hardly surprising. The last safe place for her would have been the bathroom.

- "You seem a bit…"

- "Take comments for yourself, there's no point in having a conversation" – she said, moving away from the desk with the intention of disappearing, but Paul wouldn't have been Paul if he hadn't decided to ruin her day already messed up.

- "Of course not, but I think you’ll want to know I went to talk with the twins. Didn’t go as hoped. Jey… he doesn't listen" – he admitted with disappointment, taking her place to add more documents to those already placed everywhere and Y/N finally recognized what that other scent on him was.

- "He doesn't like you, it was pretty obvious."

The idea of talking sense to Jey had been stupid. Maybe Jimmy could have been a possibility even if he was the one who started shit, he would have talked to a wall regardless of his sympathies, but Jey? No, Jey wasn't made for those things and both him and Y/N shared the same opinion of Paul. Sure he had had more time to learn to tolerate the so called wiseman, but Y/N had known from the very first moment he wouldn't accept any proposal Paul was going to make him.

- "You do though. He allowed Solo and you to stay if… well you know – he threw it there with such nonchalance, but she wasn't willing to tolerate, it was the wrong day – "he’s attached to you, he think about you as someone to protect."

What is he trying to say?!

- "What I know is that they shouldn't fight and that you Paul, said you would make sure to avoid it."

The brilliant idea of saving her during the meeting a few days before had taken Y/N by surprise too, there was no agreement or plan behind it, she didn't even know why at that moment, with everything that was happening, Jey had decided to expose himself for her. She was almost absolutely certain it wasn't something normal in situations like the one they were in, she was Roman's mate and Jey was threatening to take everything away from him after all, but whatever was the reason it didn't matter because it wasn't what they needed to focus on, especially not Paul.

- "I fear that stopping everything is no longer an option, we don’t have time, they have sworn in front of the family now. Neither of them can back out" – heard him say with a funeral face that didn’t inspire pity in her.

- "So that ridicolous meeting was the point of no return?!" – she snapped and he choked, hands reaching out in an attempt to stop her when Y/N nerves were undergoing yet another stress test.

She respected Roman's family, she respected their traditions, but it was unthinkable to Y/N that a handshake was an unbreakable pact, not when both sides were risking everything and whoever was supposed to advise them, stop them, watched or made things worse. She couldn't, it was something she couldn’t understand. They were a family, they had to act like a family, not fighting.

- "I wouldn't talk like that, let's try to breath now okay? Think about it. There are other ways to swing things in our favor, I'm already working on something. An idea in the right ears works wonders."

- "You're working on something" – she repeated, feeling blood go straight to her head.

Yep, sure, after all they had time to act with calm, there was a week to go and everything was already a disaster, but who cared? They could also sit, chat, think and judge who remained to be sacrificed so they could sip a drink under the patio when their bright future would be on hand.

- "I know, I understand your concern, but if you decided to be more cooperative it would help a lot and speed things up. The twins are stubborn, but Jey making all these decisions on his own could work to our advantage if we prove that he isn't capable of"- he tried, but it wasn't the right day for her to listen his sneaky little games.

- "I won't help you making anyone believe anything. You are the wiseman, be the wiseman, find a way, just do it" – she silenced him, leaving the office without waiting an answer.

She wanted that fight, everything to end once and for all, she wanted to go back to months ago when Y/N had thought she could have everything missing in her life, she wanted a family, Roman to annoy her with his daily nonsense instead of dramas to survive and manipulations on a daily basis. She was tired and for the first time since the beginning even if she tried hard… she couldn't see the end.

Breath. Calm down. Don’t lose control, we can’t allow it. Breath.

***

Right, left, right, left, right, left again. The punching bag was easy to predict every time Roman hit it, Jey wouldn't follow those times when they would have been face to face. At some point he would shift, it was the only way he had to really bring Roman down. As both man and wolf, Roman was bigger than his cousin, bruises and broken bones wouldn't keep him down once they were out there, Jey would have to do more and to do so he would have no choice. He was fast, he would aim for multiple points, targeting him, Roman only needed one, the right one, like with the punching bag.

When he hit it seriously, the chain holding it up gave way, sending it down and putting Roman face to face with Solo, standing silently there, even though he hadn't asked to see him.

- "What's up?" – he asked, catching his breath and kicking the punching bag away.

- "He was talking to Y/N upstairs" – Solo said, without mincing words and Roman stopped, staring at him, his sweaty brow furrowed in an attempt to understand.

Y/N couldn't stand the wiseman. She had never liked him, from the first day, it had taken months to convince her to not growl when he approached and now they were talking? Alone upstairs, while he was there training?

- "About what?" – Roman asked, but Solo shrugged his shoulders in a heavy silence Roman had to accept, hiding his annoyance with a grimace.

First in his land. Then in his family. Now in his house. No… not that time.

Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @expert-texpert @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @claymorexpunisher @keybladeofsteel @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @gobbersworld @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @darqchilddaydreamz @meggylynnloves @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @joannasteez @reignsx @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @333creolelady @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @sortudademais @dreamsinfocus @vebner37 @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @mahi-wayy @jxtina-86 @harmshake @southerngirl41 @smile1318 @wrestlingprincess80

#roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns x oc #roman reigns x y/n #roman reigns x black reader #roman reigns smut #roman reigns x female reader #roman reigns x you #roman reigns x reader #wwe smut #wwe fanfiction #wwe fic #roman reigns one shot #roman reigns fanfic

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uptondixon · 11 months ago

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Daryl & Daugther!Reader - Quarry Era II

Had this in my drafts for ages. I started writing and never finished, but I decided to post anyway. Thank you for all the love on Part 1! I'm sorry I'm not much of a writer to keep this storyline going :( Words: 1591 Warnings: Nightmares Gif not mine Chapter song is Fix You by Coldplay

Part I

"And the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace."

It's been a while since the three of them started the walk back to camp, which was proving to be especially hard for the girl. After the adrenaline went off, the pain on her feet and legs were becoming almost unbearable. With each step she got slower and felt weaker. A headache making its way over her head, probably a mix of pain, hunger and lack of sleep.

Before heading back to camp Daryl offered her water, which she accepted desperately. Even though she was happy the thirst was over, her growling stomach didn't let her forget the days without anything to eat. She didn't mention that, already thankful for the water. However, the girl's skinny body gave Daryl an idea of how hungry she must be.

Daryl and Merle didn't hunt anything, both too focused on the deer, so he made a mental note to feed her as soon as they got to camp. Daryl also tried to take a better look at her wounds, but she didn't let him. He didn't push and decided this was a job for Lori or Carol. They were the mothers of the group and the girl would feel safe with them, he thought.

"She's slowing us down man, if we don't speed up we're going to lose sunlight. This girl is like a damn walker bait. Hell, I can smell her blood from here." Merle complained again.

"I get it Merle! Stop whining alrigh?" Daryl said before approaching the kid.

She had been trailing behind them the whole time, never sparing them a glance and looking almost ready to bolt in the opposite direction at any moment. All of a sudden, Daryl realized that they didn't know her name.

"What's yer name kid?" She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Y/n." She said, voice almost a whisper.

"Alrigh', Y/n. Look, someone has to check yer wounds and for that we need to get to the camp but ya can barely walk…" Y/n knew he was right. She was scared to let him do anything with her wounds, afraid it would make it hurt even more. But the girl knew that it would only get worse if they didn't get there faster.

"What if I carry ya?" Daryl proposed. "We'll get to the folks faster and everything's gonna be okay." Daryl looked at her expectantly, while Merle was still mumbling some nonsense he chose to again ignore.

Y/n pounded for a moment. She didn't know this guy, even though he seemed to be making an effort to at least make her feel less scared. The same couldn't be said about the other guy, his brother. Even with Daryl's effort, she wasn't sure if trusting him was the right decision. However, it's not like she had any other choice at the moment.

Y/n looked up at Daryl and nodded her head. He handed his crossbow to Merle and picked the girl up. She felt so light and Daryl couldn't help but wonder how long she was alone out there, without food and water.

Y/n wrapped one of her arms around Daryl's neck, looking for something to hold on to. It was weird, how she didn't even know this man but felt safe in his arms. After being alone for months, she really wanted to believe someone good was going to help her.

Daryl arranged the girl in his arms and resumed their walking, Merle leading the way with Daryl's crossbow, aware of any danger.

They arrived at the camp a couple hours later and Daryl came in calling for the first person he saw, which in that case was Lori. "Daryl, oh my god??? Who is that?"

Daryl immediately felt Y/n's arms wrap harder around him. "It's fine kid, don't worry."

"We found her in the woods, alone and hurt."

Minutes later, the whole camp was reunited outside the RV while Lori and Carol were inside with Y/n. The girl felt more at ease with them, like Daryl imagined. But she was still unsure about everything and everyone.

After they treated her wounds and helped her clean up, Daryl brought some of the squirrel from his last hunt along with more food from the camp. Being clean and fed, it was like Y/n could finally think straight again.

Yours later, everyone started to retreat to their tents for the night. Inside the RV, Y/n tried to stay awake, her brain still on alert for some reason. But after a while her body started to give up and she fell asleep to the sounds of the dying conversation outside.

“It will be okay my baby, just run and don’t look back, okay?”

“But mom, what about you?”

“I’ll be right behind you, go!” The little girl ran, but she couldn't help looking back. However, when she did, it made sense why her mother told her not to.

Screams, that’s what Daryl woke up to. He jumped out of his tent and saw Shane, Glenn and Dale outside the RV. “What the hell happened?”

“It 's Y/n.” Shane said “Lori is-” As if on cue, Lori leaves the RV. And to everyone's surprise, she smiled at Daryl.

“She’s asking for you, Daryl.” Daryl looked at Lori as if she had grown another head but entered the RV anyway.

“Hey kid, what's up?” Y/n was sitting in bed, death grip on the blanket and scared look on her face.

“I miss my mom” Daryl didn't know what to say, he didn't understand why she would want him there of all people. “Could you stay here until I fall back asleep?”

To be honest, Y/n didn't want to sleep, not if that meant another nightmare, but her body didn't give her any choice. Daryl saved her, his presence made her feel safe, so maybe he could help the bad dreams go away. Daryl was still confused, but he simply sat down in the chair close to the door and nodded his head, watching as the girl laid down, closing her eyes and falling asleep once again.

The first week went by smoothly, Y/n couldn't think about anything other than sleep. Her body begging for rest in order to heal. She didn't talk much, still overwhelmed with the new environment and everything that happened, but slowly feeling more at ease with everyone. Amy was the one to bring her food the days she stayed in bed. Lori or Carol would brush her long hair after she washed up. Glenn and Dale would make her laugh with silly jokes. Andrea and Jacqui would help change her bandages. Daryl would always check on her at the end of the day. He didn't say much, only put his head inside the RV, saw her asleep and then went to his tent.

The second week was better, she was stronger and more active. However, the nightmares still hunted her at night. Since Y/n got in the camp, Carl and Sophia were anxious to talk with her. But she was weak and scared so the adults held them back. When she started feeling better, spending her days sitting in the staircase of the RV and watching the camp, Carl approached her. With everything that happened Y/n didn't really had the time to think about the other kids at camp. She knew Sophia was Carol's daugther and Carl was Lori's, but they never talked and she suddently felt nervous. It's been ages since she last talked with someone her age.

"Hi, I'm Carl. You're Y/n, right?"

"Yeah.." Y/n smiled awkwardly.

"Shane's going to teach me how to grab frogs, you wanna come too?"

Y/n apreciated the invitation but she couldn't help but ask "Why would you want to grab frogs?"

Carl seemed like he wasn't expecting the question but answered anyway "Well, it's just funny, they jump so high trying to run away" he said with a little laugh "But we release them right after, Shane says they probably taste really bad to eat."

Y/n was the one ot laugh this time, for sure she wouldn't want to eat a frog.

"Okay, it seems fun" Y/n said looking at the boy in front of her.

"Yes! It's going to be really fun, I'll tell Shane you're coming" Y/n laughed again seeing the boy excitement, she couldn't help but feel it too. After the last stressful weeks, it was good to have some distraction.

Y/n met Sophia a couple nights after her frong hunt with Carl and Shane. The camp was having dinner and since she started feeling better, she started to have dinner outside with the others. The first night she went straight to Daryl, he and Merle sitting around a fire further from the main camp. In the short time Y/n was there she could notice how they differed from the rest of the camp. Her, as well, felt unsure, not of Daryl but his brother. The first night she left the RV and went to Daryl, Merle looked at her they same way he looked at her back in the woods. Like she was an walker bait. Daryl didn't showed much affection towards her, at least not in clear eyes. But he silently made sure she was fed and safe every single day, most of the others from the camp would not notice most of the time, but he did and Y/n knew it.

Taglist: @justmare

#the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl x reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x daughter reader #daryl dixon x daughter reader #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction

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nicoline1998enilocin · 1 year ago

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The closet of desire

PAIRING | Civilian!Ari Levinson x Avenger!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 3.3K

SUMMARY | Ari and you are at the afterparty of Tony's famous Halloween Party, and you're being roped into a very alcoholic game of truth or dare. You accept the dare of ''7 Minutes In Heaven,'' but the closet you step into becomes a gateway to a place where you never thought you would find yourself.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Swearing, age gap (Ari is in his mid-40s, Reader is in her early to mid-30s), use of pet names (Bubbles, Kitten), smut { public sex (in a sex club), voyeurism kink, exhibitionism kink, daddy kink, multiple orgasms, finger sucking, fingering, oral (m receiving), face fucking, threesome, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), spit roasting, squirting, cockwarming, implied aftercare }.

A/N | This one shot is written for Jamie's Halloween Challenge 2023, hosted by @jtargaryen18. I had an absolute blast writing this one, and I hope you will all enjoy it as much as I did when writing 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🧡

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics | Header & 18+ banner are made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Ari Levinson Masterlist

Tony has invited you and your fiancé Ari to his annual Halloween party with a costume competition. You may not have won first prize, but coming in second dressed as Morticia and Gomez Addams still felt pretty damn good.

Ari looks stunning in a black pinstripe suit tailored to the gods, his hair dyed black and slicked back, and a black mustache found its home on his face. You're wearing a tight black dress, a long black wig, and the signature Morticia make-up look to finish it all off.

The party was wild already, but you always joined for the afterparty, which was even better. Fewer people are in attendance, making it much more intimate, which you like.

You and Ari are seated on a loveseat, cuddled into his side, his arm around your shoulders protectively. The other Avengers and their significant others are spread out over the rest of the couches and seats, with Tony standing as he proposes a game.

''What do we say to a few rounds of Truth or Dare... but with a twist?!'' he says with a devilish grin, and that alone was enough to send shivers down your spine.

Everyone agreed, but he explained it wouldn't be a typical game but a drinking game. Obviously.

''One of you chooses either a truth or a dare, but if you decide not to want to answer, you must take two shots. If you do answer the truth or perform the dare, the rest of us must take one shot,'' he says, and you can already feel your hangover coming on, but that would be a problem for future you.

Tony immediately turns to you and Ari, seeing you're the newest couple in the room. Tonight is the first time they've met Ari, after all.

''Let's start with you two lovebirds!'' Tony exclaims, and you can already feel your stomach drop, closing your eyes in the hope that Tony changes his mind, but he doesn't.

''Are you okay, Bubbles?'' Ari asks as he looks at you, worry visible on his face as he goes to sit up a little more, allowing you to get a little more comfortable.

''Yeah, don't worry. It's not my first rodeo,'' you say, and you give Ari a soft but passionate kiss on his lips, which is met by a lot of cheering from other Avengers.

When you pull away, your lips are slightly puffy from the kiss, and Ari has a very content smile when he sees it.

''Right, back to me now,'' Tony says, grabbing everyone's attention.

''Truth or dare?'' he asks, and you choose dare, knowing he probably won't go too crazy now that it's still relatively early if you don't count the drinks he's already had so far.

''Dare,'' you sigh and smile, hopefully making it look like you're enjoying yourself to the rest of them.

''I dare you two-'' he says, pointing towards you and Ari, ''-to 7 minutes in heaven in the closet,'' Tony tells you.

''What are we? Fucking teenagers? You have to be kidding me, Tony,'' you raise your voice, but Ari stops you as you get up and walk away.

''Bubbles, it's only 7 minutes, and it's not like we've never had a make-out session before,'' he says, which has your heart beating faster at the thought, and a smile tugs on the corners of your mouth.

''Okay, I'll do it,'' you say, pulling Ari up from the couch, and he gets up gracefully before walking after you and towards the closet. It's a short walk since it's in the same room, and when you open the doors, you step in, but Ari has to lean his head down not to hit his head.

It's a squeeze, and when you try to make a little room for Ari, you hit a panel behind you with your elbow, which opens the back of the closet like two doors swinging open.

Both of you turn your heads to the opening and the sight before you take your breath away for a few seconds.

''Is that-''

''A sex club? Absolutely,'' Ari answers before you can even finish your sentence.

Ari stepped through the portal after grabbing your hand and pulling you in with him. Suddenly, he was wearing tight-fitting jeans without a shirt, and you wore a short skirt, a crop top, and thigh-high boots, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Everywhere you look, you see people talking or making out; in the darker corners, you can see people having oral sex or being worked open with fingers, and in the middle of the club are multiple couches, chairs, and tables used to have sex on.

From just two people and threeways to an orgie, your eyes scan past everyone in the room, and you can feel your panties growing wetter with the second.

The music is drowned out by people moaning and whining, skin slapping against skin, and dirty talk here and there. You need to figure out where to look since this is your first time in a club like this.

''Are you liking what you see, Bubbles?'' Ari whispers in your ear as he stands behind you, and you can feel his erection pressing into your back, noticing how he's fully hard.

A soft whine escapes your lips as his big hands slide from your waist up to your breasts, which he cups gently, enveloping them with his long fingers.

The slick between your thighs only grows as you feel his fingers on your body, his lips trailing kisses on your neck as he leaves a small trail of goosebumps in their path.

''A-Ari,'' you gasp, but he immediately stops his kisses.

''You know that's not what I want you to call me, Kitten,'' he says sternly, and you close your eyes as a shiver runs down your spine, leaving full-body goosebumps.

''Sorry, Daddy,'' you say, and Ari's cock twitches at the word, serving to make him even harder, not that you thought that would be possible. You also get off on it, and you feel your panties dampen as he walks you forward to an empty armchair.

You can't tear your eyes away from everything happening around you, and you can't help but feel aroused. You didn't know you had such a thing for being a voyeur until now, and it only feeds the exhibitionism kink you already know you have.

If there's one thing you and Ari love doing is having sex in (semi-)public places; the thrill of possibly getting caught only makes it hotter, but you never considered a place like this.

Ari sits down in the armchair with a soft grunt after letting his hands slide off your body, and he turns you around so your ass is pointed at him.

''Sit down for me, Kitten, and spread those beautiful legs for everyone to see,'' he says, and you do just that, hooking your legs on the outside of his so you're spreading wide for him.

Your skirt is hiked up and is now on your waist by the motion, showing your blue thong to everyone wanting to look.

''Hmm, this color looks perfect on you, Kitten. Too bad it's all soaked and ruined now, huh?'' Ari teases, and his hands ghost over your inner thighs, making you whimper softly when he comes closer to your pussy, but avoiding it each time.

''Daddy, please don't tease me,'' you say with a pout as you lean your head against his shoulder, but he doesn't look at your face, instead focussing on the blue lace between your legs.

''Alright, Kitten, but only because you asked so sweetly,'' he says, and his fingers glide to the edge of your panties, pushing them down and discarding them in front of you both before making you spread wide again, showing your glistening cunt for the entire club to see.

''Hmm, such a perfect pussy for everyone to see,'' Ari groans softly, and his long, thick fingers rub through your folds, gathering some slick before he brings them to your mouth, letting you suck all of your slick off them.

You moan around his fingers, and your eyes fly shut, your pussy clenching around nothing at the taste of yourself on his fingers. He shoves them deeper into your mouth, and you keep sucking on them, and you feel Ari's cock twitch slightly in his pants.

When you've lubed them enough for his liking, he pulls them out of your mouth and repeats the same motion, but this time he finds your clit and rubs small circles while you moan loudly, making several people turn their heads to you.

''Daddy, please! Want your fingers,'' you beg, but he doesn't listen yet; he wants you to beg just a little more.

''You want my fingers? You need to beg louder so everyone can hear what you want,'' Ari says with a mischievous smile, and you immediately obey.

''Please, Daddy, can I have your fingers in my pussy? Am a good girl for you,'' you beg, and this time, Ari gives in, pushing two fingers into your entrance with a loud squelching sound that has you moaning loudly.

''Fuck!'' you force out as he bottoms out with his fingers, and he sets a steady pace, driving them in and out of you repeatedly as his other hand rubs your clit, working you towards your first orgasm of the night.

''You're such a good girl for me, letting everyone look at how good Daddy makes you feel. You're the perfect slut for Daddy tonight,'' he tells you, and his words make you preen.

''Yeah, 'm Daddy's little slut'' you reply, and Ari works his fingers faster until you're eyes roll back into your head, and the squelching sound is so loud it's all you can focus on as your orgasm washes over you.

With a loud whine, you let Ari work through your orgasm until you're bordering overstimulation, and you push his hands away, which he then brings to your mouth so you can clean them.

''T-Thank you, D-Daddy,'' you pant as you've come down enough, and Ari smiles as multiple pairs of eyes are on the two of you, but you don't even attempt to close your legs; you just want to spread them wider so they can get a perfect view of your glistening folds.

Ari lifts your shirt over your head to expose your bra, but that is also swiftly taken off, and now you're entirely bare for everyone to see. Your nipples are pebbled to total hardness, and Ari can't help but tug on them to tease a little.

''Daddy!'' you say in a bit of a scolding tone, but it makes you feel good.

''How about you make Daddy feel good now, huh? Be a good girl for Daddy and get down on your knees so you can suck me off with that perfect, tight mouth of yours,'' he says, and you immediately get off his legs and find your place between his legs, your back arching, and your legs spread slightly.

Your fingers undo the button and zipper of his jeans quickly, and he lifts himself a little so his pants can slide off, only to reveal he's wearing nothing underneath them.

A soft whine leaves your throat as his erection springs free, but it's so big and heavy it doesn't stand upright; instead, it points forward, with a slight curve to the right.

''C'mon, Kitten, make Daddy feel g-good,'' he stutters as your hand wraps around his base; your lips immediately find their home around his tip, and you suckle softly.

''Fucking hell,'' Ari groans out as you take more and more of him in your mouth and down your throat, working past your gag reflex.

His breathing gets more erratic, and when you look up, you can see a small layer of sweat forming on his chest and face, showing you how good you make him feel right now.

One of your hands is softly squeezing the base of his cock as the other massages and rolls his balls just the way he likes, his hands clutching the arms of the chair to not cum right away.

Your hips involuntarily rut into nothing, and you feel yourself clenching around nothing, but you can tell Ari's close to his orgasm.

''You want to swallow my cum like a good cumslut?'' Ari asks, and you look up at him as you nod so he fists one of his hands into your hair before holding your head still and setting the pace with his hips, fucking your face with loud groans until he shoots every last drop down your throat, forcing you to swallow it all.

When he lets you go, you let go with a wet pop, and your jaw is already sore, and your mascara is running down your face from the tears you've shed as he fucked your face.

After Ari's come down from his high, he got up and pulled you over to an empty couch, where he placed you on your hands and knees to fuck you the way you like.

''I've got a little surprise for you, Kitten,'' Ari says as he pulls you up to his chest, and you feel his cock poke you in your back.

He turns your head with his hand to show you who's walking over to the two of you, and you see none other than Tony Stark himself walk up to you, completely naked, his cock standing at attention against his belly.

He's shorter and less thick than Ari, but it would still be a stretch, no matter what hole he would get to use.

''Do you want us both to make you feel good?'' he asks, and you nod enthusiastically, slick dripping down your thighs and onto the leather couch beneath you.

''Are you going to let Tony fuck this amazing mouth while I fuck your tight pussy until you can't stop cumming for us? We're going to fucking ruin you, Kitten, and you'll enjoy every second of it if you say yes,'' Ari whispers in your ear, and you're getting only more excited.

''Please, Daddy! Please ruin me,'' you say confidently, and he lets you drop forward, catching yourself with your arms before your face hits the couch.

Ari pulls your hips up a little, and you wiggle in his grasp to show you're ready. And he lines up with your entrance while Tony takes his position before you.

''Look at you, such a perfect little slut who just wants to be fucked from all sides, huh? Does that make you feel horny to be treated like a cumslut for us?'' Tony asks, and you say a soft yes before Ari pushes into you, the stretch feeling like a pleasant burn like always.

You lift your head, letting Tony line up with your mouth before pushing in, and he tastes so vastly different from Ari but not unpleasant.

Both men slide into you simultaneously, and the pleasure almost becomes too much, your orgasm creeping closer quickly.

When Ari bottoms out, he lets you adjust around him until you're not clenching around him, and when he starts pulling out and thrusting back in, Tony does the same, and both men are making you feel like you're not even inside your own body anymore.

They set a different pace - Tony being a little sloppy and rough, Ari being slow and passionate, almost as if he's making love to you. This is precisely what sends you over the edge the first time, and Ari throws his head back with a loud groan as you clench around his cock.

''Jesus, Kitten, you squeeze Daddy so good when you cum,'' he grits out as he thrusts again, picking up his pace while Tony keeps the same speed, his hands in your hair as you let him fuck your face for pleasure.

Both men groan and grunt as they use you as their fucktoy, and with the way Ari keeps hitting your sweet spot inside you repeatedly, it doesn't take long for you to cum again, this time with more force, and Ari is determined to pull one more from your body before even thinking of cumming himself.

''Fuck, she's squeezing me so good,'' Ari tells Tony, and you hollow your cheeks to make Tony feel fabulous too, and it works because before he can stop himself, he's shooting his seed into your mouth and throat while you swallow every last drop.

He doesn't pull out once he's done but instead lets himself soften in your mouth as Ari sets a relentless pace, but his fingers find your clit this time. He rubs them just a little, but you're already bordering overstimulation, and you cum again, this time squirting all over the couch, his legs, and his cock.

''Fucking hell, such a perfect little slut when you squirt for me. Good girl,'' he emphasizes as he thrusts back in, this time chasing his own high with rapid thrusts.

You moan around Tony's soft cock, and the vibrations make him feel good, and you feel little beads of pre-cum drip onto your tongue.

''Gonna pump you full of my cum, Kitten. Got so much cum just for you and your tight cunt,'' Ari growls, and with a few more sloppy thrusts, he comes with a roar, and many people in the club look at the burly man fucking into you while you're cockwarming another man with your mouth.

You've never felt so good, and when Ari pulls out, Tony lets go too, but you have never felt this empty before. Tony doesn't say goodbye before walking away, but you're too far gone to notice it.

Ari pulls you into his lap and whispers sweet nothings as you both come down from your highs before he feeds you some bits of chocolate and lets you drink some water.

You want to stay in your spot forever, but you know that's not an option, so when it's time to go back, you let Ari carry you to the portal back to the normal world.

Before stepping through, he puts you down and pulls you in for a deep, passionate kiss to thank you for everything that happened.

When you pull apart, you surprise him with one last question, which he never thought he'd ever hear you say.

''What do you think, shall we visit a club like this in the real world, too?'' you whisper in his ear, and Ari wholeheartedly agrees before the two of you walk through.

In that world, you were still naked, but once you're back in the closet, you're both wearing your Halloween costumes, although they look messy now.

Ari grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in for one more deep kiss, his tongue instantly working into your mouth when the closet doors open, and the sight of Tony greets you in his Halloween costume.

''Alright, lovebirds, 7 minutes are over!'' he says, but it feels like you two have been gone for hours, not just 7 minutes.

''Are you sure it's been 7 minutes?'' you ask, confused, and Tony lets out a deep, rumbling laugh.

''Why did you want us to lock you into the closet for the rest of the night? You can always go to your bedroom if you want to climb your tree,'' he jokes with a wink, and you slap him against his chest sternly.

''Behave yourself, Stark!'' you say, but you look over at Ari and see him shooting you a wink. You two might have had the time of your lives in that closet, but no one would ever find out, and you've got a new tradition for the two of you.

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neonscandal · 5 months ago

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Okay, if you were asked who are in JJK & BNHA that you can see based on canon that are gay/bi/pan/demi, which characters are they?

For me satoaugu and bakudeku are definitely not straight (yes, I ship them but I don't think they "must be into women only" like a post I just saw). Also, kaminari, jirou, toga, nobara, megumi, kenjaku....

Ah yes, a person with discerning tastes. ✨ While this feels like a sure fire way to get me into some hot water, let's dive right in.

✨🌈 Happy pride to the queer people in my phone 🌈✨

But especially these

Megumi "Only Interested in Compassion" Fushiguro - pansexual (very much choosing to overlook very subtle implications of siscon as a red herring to, of course, further contextualize ItaFushi). See also Gojo and the uncharacteristic Miwa agenda.

Satoru Gojo - Let's be so for real. Man is down astronomical for Suguru but I think there's still evidence/reason to believe he could be ace or demisexual. Can strength be conflated with love?

Kinji Hakari - waving the white flag on this one considering I'm 4 weeks behind and I don't know if there's been further clarification that might swing this verdict one way or another but support Hikari's love regardless of Kirara's gender expression/identity. Also, given current events, it'd be pretty weird if Gege slipped that in out of nowhere.

Kenjaku - 🗣️ IF GIVEN ENOUGH TIME, DO WE NOT ALL BECOME A LIL GAY!? I understand straight people probably don't have such realizations so I'm just going to sit with that reflection.

Nobara Kugisaki - be so for real. I think she had a misplaced crush in her idolization of Saori that made more sense when she left the bumble fuck countryside and could live her best life, out and proud with her muscle mommy girlfriend, Maki. Also explains, a bit, why Saori was ostracized where Nobara may have lacked understanding/context.

Maki - Plenty of gay icons without last names, queen. This one just happens to also be gay.

Eijirou Kirishima is almost so straight that he unintentionally makes a hard U-turn into flirting with queerness. His phrasing is baffling as he tends to pop up in those threads frequently with assumingly unintended innuendos but it is also reminiscent about how no one third wheels harder than a dude's girlfriend when he's with his best friend? I don't know if that makes sense but I'm throwing him in the mix as someone who maybe just needs some time ✨ regardless of the BakuDeku to KiriMina parallels.

Denki Kaminari - This kid has eyes and he uses them, gender be damned. A bi-disaster if I've ever seen one.

Minoru Mineta - IDK if his Deku confession was a translation faux pas or if Mineta, too, has fallen for the male lead's quintessential charm that wins over hearts and minds. While the Council on Bisexuality would fight me on this one... his membership is still pending.

Izuku Midoriya - I have it on good authority that Izuku is Bakusexual. Flustered by girls in the same way that any awkward and bullied kid might when encountering the opposite sex but his heart has always had its allegiance to one person. Whether that makes him gay, demi or even bi, I think it tracks.

Katsuki Bakugo - bi, pan or gay, the consensus is he is Not Straight.

Kyoka Jiro - in Smash, Jiro is a total fujoshi (she just like us fr). If you'll allow submitting MHA Smash into evidence, coupled with the canon main story, I say bi. A girl who knows Momo is stacked but also reasonably wants the attention and company of a Class 1A boy as a girl would at that age.

Himiko Toga - one thing about Toga. She is going to know and live her truth. Confidently bi ✨

Ochaco Uraraka - SPEAKING OF LIVING TRUTHS. She a little late but she has the right spirit.

Bonus, if including Kirishima didn't some how get me booed, I was going to add Yuta Okkotsu too but I thought better of it. 👉🏾👈🏾

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dingodad · 21 days ago

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the ext. zodiac is DEFINITELY bullshit (they literally try to relate trolls signs to sburb aspects which is so stupid its funny) but i think that it makes more sense to just go off-zodiac entirely since, in-comic kanaya equates trollsigns to names / signatures. and i dont really think it makes sense at all for an entire interplanetary empire to have only 144 available names

i think highbloods just place a LOT of value in genetic lines, and since signs are like lastnames to them they get really fascist about people who might be related to them

basically; ext zodiac is horseshit but thats why i think going off of it is fun

i don't really know what you're referring to other than the part where kanaya seems to assume rose's signature is her sign but the idea that trolls sign their names using their signs is not really a deal breaker to me.

i mean literally look at 'RL' as an example. there are only 325 possible combinations of 2 letters, which is not nearly enough combinations to possibly make 'RL' a useful signifier of one specific individual. because a signature is only one in a list of ways to authenticate a document. even in the real world putting your signature on a document is only really meaningful if someone else witnessed the signing of the document, because there are only so many ways to sign your name, and it's ultimately just a little drawing that anyone else on earth could easily copy if they really wanted to. or like, picture an aristocrat's signet ring, which could be even closer to what we are talking about here. it puts a picture on the document that is supposed to represent the authenticity of the aristocrat's contribution. but if you really wanted, you could copy the picture. and maybe once upon a time - working with a certain level of primitive technology - it would even have worked, but even there you're still ultimately going to have to fall back on the word of certain reliable witnesses, because the signet itself is just representative of something that is inherently more complex.

this is basically how the whole concept of a last name works too. if you want to be especially crafty, instead of just signing with your two initials you could sign with your whole last name, and on the town or city level that might work to distinguish you from all the other Johns or all the other Smiths. but as soon as you scale up to the level of an entire country, let alone an entire planet, it becomes totally useless, and you're always going to have to supplement your first+lastname with some additional information about yourself, like your date of birth. let's think to the most populous countries on earth, where surnames are more monocultural than we're likely to be familiar with in the world's english-speaking countries (and therefore are probably a closer analogue to uniquely-alternian cultural signifiers): something like 8% of people in China have the surname Yang! that's damn close to one in every 10 people you know having the same last name. the name Khan enjoys a similar level of popularity in Pakistan. to say nothing of all the Nguyens in Vietnam: it could be argued that in some respects a system whereby all members of the same caste have an equal 1 in 24 chance to have the same sign - and almost no chance at all to have the same first and last names! - is a hell of a lot more efficient than a lot of the family name systems we've got here on earth!

is 144 a bit on the small side when scaled up to an empire whose indeterminately large population spans almost to the edges of a galaxy? i'm willing to say yes. but even if you make it 244, or 544, or 1044 unique signs, there's going to be double ups, because it's never going to be enough for every living troll to get a sign all to themself. and hiveswap doesn't have to account for an entire galactic empire's worth of trolls, it only has to account for a couple hundred at a stretch! so it should use an alphabet of signs that suits a cast of a couple hundred. obviously for design purposes it makes complete sense that main or named characters all get their own unique signs - but if the rules dictate that sometimes trolls will share a sign, then the background trolls should reflect that reality! or else you're just breaking the rules of your own setting for the sake of upholding what is, in-universe, arbitrary fascist mythology, exactly like i said.

you also have to remember that, as i've already emphasised, the VASTTTT MAJORITYYYY of trolls in this galaxy-spanning empire are gonna be lowbloods, who don't buy into this mythology! so there isn't even a solid lore reason why lowbloods should have more signs to avoid double ups. and i think the comic already gives us a pretty clear image of the way lowbloods are cast aside by the grandiose conventions of alternian identity, in the fact that highbloods are remembered by such distinguished titles as "Spinneret Mindfang" and "Dualscar" and "Darkleer", and yet even the most significant scumbloods in alternian history are just "The Summoner" or "The Handmaid" or "The Sufferer". these names have significance to us, the readers, but in the context of thousands of years and thousands of lightyears of history there's no damn way there was only ever one "The Disciple" or one "The Signless". and while I do understand quite clearly that the concerns of the reader should always outweigh in-universe concerns when it comes to matters of design or writing, in this case i think it would actually be MORE effective storytelling to treat signs the same way. while it would seem significant to US if another troll, unrelated to tavros or rufioh, appeared wearing a Taurus, it would also serve to communicate that all of the sign shit the readers have been buying into this whole time was nonsense, and i think in this case that's the more important message

#long post #god.#your tl;dr is kind of saying a different thing to the rest of your ask so i don't really know how to address it.#i think the extended zodiac. as an in universe design element. is bullshit #but it being bullshit is exactly why hiveswap should stick to it and not pussyfoot around it

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phxntomhives · 6 months ago

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Pandora hearts thoughts

Spoiler for everything.

I finished the serie. A couple of hours ago. I am writing now because I had to mentally recover. Especially since I binge read from after chapter 70 in 2 days.

Did I understood everything? Absolutely not and I am still devastated. I still have several questions (that I am too dumb to understand on my own) but it was definitely intense.

I'll be honest, until chapter 60 more or less I was like: sure it's a nice story. It has its moment but it's nothing special.

Then the flashbacks happened. And everything just spiraled in darkness and plottwists and I was just. Speechless. I have been lied for all the time and it was so beautiful to see this being wonderfully executed. Everything became distorted, without being clear of what was actually true and what was false. And they just kept on coming and as soon as I was confident I understood how it worked it changed again, but it made sense. And that's what makes me amazed by this serie, it is not a bunch plottwist after the others just for shock factor. They make sense, they make you reflect on the self, on loyalty, on whether what you are seeing is the truth or not. And you sit at the edge of the chair hoping to understand even a little bit and find out if you were correct or not.

The 1st page of the chapters were honestly godsent because they helped still making you laugh and release some of the angst in which as a reader you are bathing in during the end.

All of the characters were beautiful but damn, my favourite are definitely Gil and Break. But they are all so complex that I will probably keep on changing them. Their despair, their love, their conflicts, their passions and obsessions are so well explained and represented that they felt my own. My heart ached for them, especially at the whole different reactions everyone had at each other's action. I loved how well everyone mixed together, how each character influenced the others becoming part of the others they met. How deep down all of them wanted to live and be forgiven for their sins but were never able to really say it out loud, but their action spoke for them and slowly the others understood and helped them. How they all loved each other, in different ways, but it's just a story full of love. Sometimes cute and adorable and other times obsessive and dark. But with so much love and desire to be understood and accepted that you can't help loving every second of this torture.

I bawled my eyes out at the final chapter because it was just too much. Every trope I love together and it just hurt so much but it is also the only possible ending for this tale.

Ah yes and all the tale discourse. They basically becoming aware that they are fictional character and just decide that even if they are just words on a page, they deserve to live. And take all they can get because that's what they want. To be themselves, with their good and bad sides and live their life as best as they can. "I don't want to deny the story in which you existed" was so painful and beautiful to read. Because yes I am crying and I am very sad about this story. And yet... I don't want to these feelings. If I were to go back to some weeks ago, I would still open that first chapter, even knowing it will cause pain. Because it's beautiful and even if it is over, it was everything I could have asked for and more. And I don't want to lose this. The pain, the tears would be gone but so would be so many nice moments. Alice biting everyone to show affection. Break teasing everyone. Elliot petting cats. Everyone meeting each other and be friends. I want it all, the good and the bad. And they wanted it all too.

I guess in the end, everyone is a self-sacrifing hero, in the story. Elliot would need to hate everyone smh, himself first.

I am feeling very empty now that I binged everything. Or maybe I am feeling so much that I don't know how to deal with it. I'll probably just bath myself in fanarts and fanfic to try to heal.

Honestly, the fact that all of them will technically be canon is somewhat comforting. Like, we witnessed ONE of the MANY tales out there. That still involves them. And it's canon there are endless endings. So everything can be canon, everytime someone is taking a brush, a pensil, a pen, or is writing something on paper, on the laptop everywhere. You are giving life to one of the many tales. And the characters are probably loving it too. Witnessing their fate in your hands. Mochizuki created something so big and it's outstanding. We are allowed the power of being canon, no one can come and say "no actually it's not like that". She gave us so much power, I love it. She entrusted us her characters. It's overwhelming.

Anyway, see you all under that tree in a fic or in an art. Idk how many people are active in the fandom but I can't wait to see everything you created and what you will create.

I don't know if this makes sense, I'm just having a chat with this post and writing stuff as they come to me. There are likely spelling mistakes, I am sorry, but I don't want to fix them, you take this as it is. Just my brain on free mode.

#pandora hearts #free thought #how did you all survive a monthly update is beyond my understanding #my heart is in pain but i wouldn't change it ever #i got too attached to this story for my own good

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theskyexists · 2 months ago

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The last graduate reread

It's crazy. People just RUN. You save yourself or it's over. Damn

Does El seriously not realise that if she just got her head out of her ass and told any enclave: I can kill every mal ever ever ever if you just give me the mana... But no

It's something that the scholomance is trying to teach her now. It realised she's got a weakness for poor freshmen lol

But hold on if El got jumped 5 times a week, then how the heck has she never shown off her killing prowess???

She NEVER asks Orion for mana. And he's so unbelievably dumb that he never even offers it

Once again, the last graduate sets the scholomance up as the largest mal ever - perfectly. El literally thinks: it feeds on us. Yet.

Honestly ...I think Orion DOES like Chloe a bit. He likes them all well enough. They're alright. They just don't interest him.

She just killed a whole pack of leskits.

She could have absolutely saved a couple of those 600 kids that died anyway. If she'd had the SENSE to get a power sharer

There were two silly parts in here that I disliked. The plans that went nope. The honeypot plan in original form that went nowhere. And yknow the whole graduation plan.

Was the scholomance trying to get Orion to slow down on his eating too?

I am pretty damn sad that Chloe got such a limited role in the golden enclaves. She's their ALLY. Why wasn't she there for any of it???

Yeah. Why CAN Orion see El? It IS probably because she's a third level entity.

Mana mana mana. Can't find enough mana to do a major working. Ok but. Orion is right there. He's right there. He WILL BE right there in the graduation hall. So. Endless mana.

Yeah this was the disappointing honepot setup. Their first experiment with the lute worked just about. Rework the melody.

Sludging acid that can burn through flesh and bone. It's like she doesn't even see that that might be USEFUL ON MALS???

Last time i also thought this spell was insane. Insane. It took a minute. It took no mana. Its free mana building. All it takes is common selfless purpose. healing. And they never use it again. She could have used it on any one person bleeding out or dying of one or the other mal poison or wound. Like.

Wait... Orion could SEE Cora when she got healed by circle

Wait... Is it because she's pure mana? No. He'd be able to see liu. Its because she's so powerful. So that IS why. Third order entity, thus has crisp edges for a mawmouth

Orion doesn't want the sharer because then he'd suck it dry.

El complaining aboutbrewing instant kill poisons. El...you can throw them...at Mals. You can trade them..... To be thrown at mals....

I would actually bet that the Scholomance has been funneling mals at El before, it was just never so obvious before, and matched to her abilities. Or not.... Did she just run everytime she got jumped? Probably ....

El says ' i understood him perfectly' but she didn't understand him there at all lol

Holy SHIT. Liesel tripped El so bad just before the mortal flame it's basically a fucking murder attempt. What the FUCK. She goddamn well gave you important information too

Ah. Right. She regretted hurting her that bad.

Amazing cake metaphors for Liesel's stunning cleavage lips and hair ensemble that Orion has zero interest in.

AND THEN THEY KISS!!!!!!! great kissing scene

That line I'll never forget it. That there's nothing much more dangerous than a fully grown wizard. Yeah. What if they didn't have to fight for their lives endlessly. What would become of humanity then...

She only realised now, now that freaking khamis did it, that SHE could do it. My god.

El is convinced Orion wouldn't survive. Which is stupid and hilarious in retrospect..he WILL survive

He just won't be able to protect people much. After all he couldn't get at Ellen in time

So the scholomance set up a situation to get El to see she will have to get everybody out. Then threw a course at them that only she can help teams get through

ALFIE!!!!! still so friendly lol

Liesel, a woman after El's own heart.

The Marathi group who traded their spellbook to Jaipur for enclave building spells instantly imploded after getting them. Well now we know why. Some moralists among them

It does also say here that you can purge your own mana. Why doesn't every fucking wizard do that oh my GOD. That's a bad loophole you shouldn't have put in novik

She literally describes the use of a mal binding spell then goes urgh but it was useless. El....you didn't have to keep it... Didn't have to feed it human corpses....just direct it into the void....

El still pessimistically interpreting the scholomance.

El not telling anyone she's gonna save em all.

WHY???? ARE YOU AN IDIOT

I guess the scholomance feels the same

Oh right. This was the moment even the book admitted: El desperately needs help because she can never spit a single thing out that would help everyone

Wow I suddenly love khamis. For finally having a go at El.

Yeah the scholomance made her the enclaver in a group of thousands. But now she's got to live with being that, everybody having to say yes to her stupid plan or die

Edit: kind of hilarious that Liesel was looking like some sort of super attractive vogue model scholomance equivalent and Orion didn't even notice which somehow triggered El into going for it with him. I need a fanfic of that exact scene again with them as highly accomplished adults. Like. El (Killer of Mawmouths) takes Liesel along (Domina of London and Manager of the Mawmouth Extermination Program) into the new Scholomance to visit Orion (Guardian of the Scholomance) and Liesel looks stunning and El looks beautiful naturally but yknow like a hippie nomad who never had the chance to learn how to dress. And somehow you get the same dynamic where El notices how amazing Liesel looks and how Orion doesn't notice at all. And Liesel rolls her eyes at El like, duh. And it again triggers El and Orion making out. Lolololol (because that IS flattering right? And also Liesel IS an aphrodisiac alsjdodjeoddjdjliaks).

#my stuff #vidi #the last graduate #scholomance

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stereax · 3 months ago

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Any scorching hot takes on which top team will drop like a rock next season? Or if you're not feeling spicy, any 4 nations thoughts? Could be anything: positional depth/roster speculation/line comps/which team would win the tumblr hotness poll, etc. Personally I'm very curious which Cs stay Cs and which Cs become Ws

I'm not gonna touch 4 Nations yet because I don't know anything about that, especially because, iirc, they only have six players on each roster right now? I don't want to speculate who goes and who doesn't just yet because, knowing my luck, I'm gonna get half the teams injured just talking about that lol.

But! Hot takes on which teams will do WORSE than last season. This, I CAN do! Under the cut!

Now, I don't think any teams will "drop like a rock" - part of the parity of the NHL means that teams that are good usually stay good for a while and teams that are not usually stay not. A Devils-esque complete collapse is only going to happen if there's massive injuries (like the Devils had) and trade hell (like the Devils again had - there was a deal in place for Markstrom a long time back but it got nixed by Flames ownership, for example). That being said...

I think the New York Rangers is the obvious answer here. They haven't added anyone of note (depth defensemen don't count) in a league where just about every other team has gotten demonstrably better. Part of this is due to the issues surrounding moving Trouba's contract, which made them unable to jump on free agents on July 1. This, coupled with the issue of Goodrow and the waivers situation, has shown many across the league that the Rangers organization does not intend to honor NMCs and NTCs, which is a strong blow against them. But they'll still be a good team, partially because of Shesty and Quick and partially because the Metro isn't exactly the best conference in the league. (Only the Rangers, Carolina, and New Jersey seem any good, and Carolina went through its own gutting of its entire second pair, but because they're the Canes they'll make Walker and Gostisbehere Norris candidates. The Isles are mid and didn't address it, the Flyers are stuck between trying for a wildcard and tanking, the Pens have no supporting cast, the Caps just acquired Dubois which is all I need to say about them really, and don't even talk about the Jackets...)

You also have the Vegas Golden Knights, who lost basically all of their UFAs and, due to their cap crunch, didn't gain much from it outside of Alex Holtz, who's a project forward. The Pacific, however, is weak as balls. (Calgary and San Jose will be bad; Anaheim, Seattle, and LA will be mid; Vancouver will be pretty good; Edmonton will be very good.) Simply based off goaltending and defense, as well as very good center depth, Vegas should still be okay enough to make the playoffs, and we all know the famous Vegas Trade can happen too, which always makes it interesting. (In the Pacific, Calgary as well is probably going to take a massive step back. Everyone worth a damn was put out for a fire sale. I'd fully expect them to be in the Hagens sweepstakes. And Seattle's a mess...)

Another team that's gonna have problems is the Boston Bruins. Not that they'll be bad. We know they'll never truly suck. But they've got question marks floating around their lineup, from Korpisalo and Swayman (one was statistically a bottom five goalie in the league last year and the other isn't under contract right now; the point of shedding Ullmark's cap hit was to have a cheap backup like Bussi and not a major question mark with a large cap hit for a backup) to Zadorov and Lindholm (arguably both overpaid and both expected to be top line players; those contracts will not age well) to Marchand (he's not getting any younger and who knows how much he's got left in the tank, especially since this is his contract year). There are going to be some major growing pains. I would not be surprised if they start slow, fire Montgomery, and then still end up as the second seed in the Atlantic.

From the Central, I'm gonna pick the St Louis Blues. They signed Ryan Suter in the year of our Lord Stanley 2024. And took on two cap dumps in Radek Faksa and Mathieu Joseph. That's all I need to say.

Y'know what. Let me just do Way Too Early Predictions again.

This is how I see it. (Atlantic, Central, Metro, Pacific)

Draft lottery: CBJ, CGY, CHI, MTL, SJS

Hockey purgatory: ANA, BUF, OTT, PHI, PIT, SEA, STL, WSH

Wildcard tossups: DET, LAK, MIN, NYI, TBL, UTA, WPG

Playoff teams: BOS, CAR, COL, DAL, EDM, FLA, NJD, NSH, NYR, TOR, VAN, VGK

I would not be surprised if both WCs in the East go to Atlantic teams and both WCs in the West go to Central teams. At the same time, I'm having a really hard time seeing any bona fide Cup contender. Last year, from literally last July, the Panthers seemed to be head-and-shoulders THE team to beat. This year, there's nobody like that, at least to me. Everyone has some question marks.

"But Edmonton - " Edmonton is in cap hell, still having to resign Broberg and Holloway and already being over the cap. Plus, Skinner is not that good. Plus, Ekholm and Bouchard can't carry the defense. Plus, McDavid and Draisaitl can't carry the offense. Give me a break.

But yeah. Sorry for the delay here! I hope this answers your question - let me know if you have any other questions or follow-ups :)

#stereanswers #stereanalysis

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queenburd · 2 years ago

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how long did it take, in your mind, for stanley and the narrator to become friendly?

hm.

one thing I have been certain of for a while is that the narrator acknowledged to himself and Stanley he cared about stanley (platonically, romantically was much much later) a long time before stanley acknowledged he reciprocated.

it isn't a secret to either of them that the narrator doesn't like the Confusion ending, the stairwell in the Zending, or the Not Stanley ending. Gosh, this is a hard question to answer considering how time is fluid and weird in the Parable. Its definitely pre-deluxe.

But it's after doing one of these endings again, after countless loops and the 430 achievement, really YEARS into the parable, that he really acknowledges to himself that he cares about Stanley, Stanley's happiness, and his wellbeing.

mind you, that isn't to say they don't have some kind of rapport by that point. it's not intentional as much as it is they get used to each other's nonsense.

wow, this post is a mess. lemme try this again.

in the first couple hundred runs, stanley finds nearly every bit of dialogue. he's an angry, irritable person who denounces every damn thing the narrator tells him and wants to piss the fellow off, make him snap. the countdown ending makes stanley unbelievably angry. the insanity ending as well. he hides in places where the narrator can't reach him, like the museum, the escape pod, the broom closet, the out of bounds window.

but while he is trying to anger the narrator, Stanley is in his core a good person, and he doesn't like or get catharsis out of the endings where the Narrator suffers, or gets upset, or confused. makes him feel unpleasant, and makes him acknowledge that the narrator only has him. for all the fellow claims to be a god of this world, he's even more alone than stanley.

so he avoids doing those endings after a while so he doesnt have to acknowledge this. But even so he's perceptive. he can't help noticing how the narrator.... fixates. mostly on the story. but on other things as well. like he cant help it.

So it's not intentional. it's a quirk. Stanley can't blame him for how he thinks. Doesnt mean stanley has to like it, tho.

on the narrator's end, he does recognize Stanley is avoiding those endings. he feels relief. not necessarily gratitude, because he thinks if Stanley becomes really very angry he'll do one of the endings just to hurt the Narrator ("i just wanted us to get along--") but relief that he hasnt pushed stanley too far this time.

he doesn't like seeing stanley hurt. and he doesnt like when stanley isn't there. and can't stanley realize the narrator made him a story with a happy ending? doesnt he see how the narrator wants him to be happy?

can't he see how much the narrator cares?

maybe he can't.

so the both of them, separately, have made this decision to be less cruel to the other. stanley is doing it to not have to acknowledge to himself that the narrator needs him, and the narrator is doing it because he has admitted to himself that he does care.

so that's.... maybe less than a thousand loops in. probably less than 800. and it isnt long after that that the narrator tells stanley he cares. that he doesn't expect stanley to change, or reciprocate his platonic fondness, but that he doesn't want stanley to suffer. they have to do the story, they don't have much choice, but the narrator will do what he can to make it bearable.

stanley honestly gets kind of mad abt it. he is still trying to tell himself the narrator is his warden, that the narrator just sees him as a puppet and is doing this to get Stanley to play along and behave, and it doesnt matter if the narrator is sincere because he is imprisoning stanley.

while it hurts the narrator, he understands it. he keeps his word, though. he tries to find ways to make the parable more free roaming, tries to be gentler in his scripted admonishments. he still gives it his all and he still cant ad lib too much but by god, he will give Stanley this.

it's after another trip to the Museum that it gets through Stanley's thick head that the Narrator is just as much a prisoner as he is. For all the Narrator thinks he made this world, he's wrong. he's just another person stuck alongside stanley, and while stanley has a body, the narrator has the parable. this is all the control he can have, and he doesn't even realize it.

it does change things for stanley. it's evident when he gets back to the office, and it all spills out.

the immediate aftermath is complicated. it all happens very quickly--the narrator reels from the realization, he wants to freak out, but then he's forced to compartmentalize because Stanley is having a real bad breakdown.

[because it's all true. he is code, all he is is code, there's no freedom, and there's not even anyone to be angry at, and he cant even die, he just exists like this forever, and he was taking it out on someone who had just as little control as he did, and what kind of fucked up person is he?]

to which the narrator thinks, nope, absolutely not. he will not allow this person he cares about to crack down the middle like this.

so, of all things, he doubles down on being "the enemy". no, Stanley, HE controls this world. This is HIS domain, Stanley doesn't have nearly the control over him that he seems to think. If Stanley wants to be angry and upset, be upset at him, fight him, just don't give up.

don't give up.

it's pretty obvious to the both of them that he's making a show of it. that he's doing it to lift Stanley's spirits. it still works, if only because Stanley cant help finding this bit of disbelieving humor that the narrator is trying to cheer HIM up.

the stupid fellow really does care.

and that's all it takes.

#the sparrow parable #tsp #so this is long and messy and i apologize #and it doesnt PROPERLY answer the question so much as it explains HOW it finally happens #not when. because lmao i dont know the real answer to that.

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cambrian-creature · 1 year ago

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Hello, and welcome to M*A*S*H enjoyers anonymous

Now tell us, why are you here?

(basically just a free space to talk/infodump, be free my sweet cheese)

Oooooh boy.

MASH is a show about war, but also mostly it's about people and how people react under stress. Something to note is that it's about the Korean War, but it's actually about the Vietnam War.

It's got its issues, definitely. It's not particularly respectful to Korean people despite being set in Korea. But it was the 70s so like. Idk, can't expect much. There's a lot to unpack in the way of imperialism. The show is very anti-war, but mostly focused on the Americans, which is pretty damn reductive if you ask me. There is also the misogyny and if one more person calls Major Margaret Houllihan "hot lips" I am going to throw hands. I'm not making excuses for any of this, but it's an old ass show and you can't get too hung up on it. ANYWAY, you asked about the good stuff.

The main character, Hawkeye, is this. Unhinged, sleep deprived, alcoholic surgeon who's just. Unreasonably good at his job. Despite the Horrors of War, he's still one of the kindest, most lovable people, and he only put Frank in a shipping crate one time, so it's fine. And the blood he stole was for a good cause. As was the money he stole and the one time he gaslit a guy into thinking he'd lost his mind. All for a good cause. He's so cool, he's a menace, he's a slut, he's deeply psychologically damaged, he's a little silly, he invented the principle behind Goncharov, he's even bisexual.

Hawkeye's best friend and roommate is Trapper John, fellow manwhore and prankster extraordinaire. He always makes me a little sad cause I think he's Hawkeye's best friend and Hawkeye isn't his best friend? To him, it's all temporary, and he'll get out of Korea and go back to his wife and kids and probably try to not think about any of it ever again, but Hawk's such a ride or die friend, and he depends so much on not being alone and. Fuck, man. He's just like me for real. No shit, I realized this a couple years ago, and it sent me into this huge spiral of wondering if my friends love me as much as I love them and it lasted like. Years. And then I did that thing people do where they tell other people about their feelings? Which was weird. But it was also cool and now I do not worry about that as much anymore. A little bit, because the fears never cease, but y'know. It's cool. Apparently I am also sad and lonely because I am FULLY spilling my guts here lmao. Don't read that. Fuck whatever BJ has going on, THIS is the Trapper Complex.

Also Trapper leaves like three seasons in and is replaced by Blow Job Hunnicut, who keeps saying shit like "man, I bet you sure had fun with Trapper, huh" and "boy this must be just like the good ol days with Trapper" like we get it, you're jealous. He's also deeply psychologically damaged. I don't like him so much, but I also haven't seen a lot of him yet so I guess we'll see.

Okay, now MARGARET. She's amazing. She's cool and fascinating and ALSO deeply psychologically damaged! She's a strong woman in the 50s, she's so angry all the time, she just wants some goddamn respect and also someone to hang out with her to do manicures. She has this fascinating mix of wanting to be feminine and pretty but also needing to be masculine and angry to get respect. She's a hardass, she's obsessed with the rules, she's so mad at everything all the time because she has so little control over her situation, she's just like my mother and I love her so much. She could do any man's job in that camp so much better. I like to think after the war she goes back to medical school and becomes a doctor and gets some GODDAMN RESPECT.

Also she's dating (she dumps him don't worry) this absolute schlub Frank who is. A garbage human being. He's so pathetic and funny but also like genuinely terrible and canonically homophobic. If he were in modern times he would vote for Trump. He's Mr. Patriot. He's the Yankee Doodle Doctor. He's a shit doctor. He's so funny to watch cause everyone around him is so funny and witty and good at snappy comebacks and he says shit like "ohhhh you- you- guys!! >:(" Like yeah Frank. Get em. Don't hold back. He's a real "why I oughta-" kinda guy. Apparently the actor got so much hate mail he quit the show which is honestly so mean and tragic because Frank is such a fun character. I want to watch him fail again and again and again and then cause more problems. He could call me a slur in a Walmart parking lot and I'd just laugh at him and ask him if his wife knows about his girlfriend. She doesn't.

When Frank left, he got replaced by this other guy and I have no idea what his deal is. My apologies to Charles Emerson Winchester III. People like him I guess. He seems boring next to Frank tbh.

Now lemme tell ya about Klinger. Actually lemme show you.

He's beautiful. Gorgeous. Show stopping. He started out as a bit character and the joke was that he was trying to get a section 8 discharge (sent home on the grounds of being mentally unfit to serve), but everyone loved him so much that he became a recurring character and the outfits kept getting better and it went from "haha man in a dress" to "he's a genuinely deep character and this is his coping mechanism and he is so afraid of this war. Also he's the hottest guy around and everyone knows it. Even the priest wants him carnally." Genuinely the best fucking guy. In the early seasons, the laugh track goes off every time he enters a room and it makes me so mad. Take his whimsical ass seriously.

Also I mentioned there's a priest. I'm not sure why they have a priest, but I think that was just a thing in the 50s. He's got too many names. You can find him currently in the Catholic Characters Tournament and it's funny cause the person who runs that keeps getting his names out of order. It's John Patrick Francis Mulcahy, cause they gave him one name in the movie and then changed it in the show like twice at least so. Four names. Anyway, he's the only priest I trust. He literally just wants to help people and he has no way of knowing that he's doing any real good so he wants recognition for his efforts but that goes against what he's meant to be doing, he's meant to be completely selfless, but he wants to know that he's at least doing something, otherwise what's the point. What's the point of everything he's worked for. What's the point of devoting his life to this. To these people and to his god and to being a good person. Because if he thinks of himself, if he wants anything for himself, does that not mean he's selfish? And that's bad, he can't be selfish, but he is because everyone is, that's just human nature to want to know the results of your work. Also he's convinced he's the second coming of Christ or some shit. I can't fully explain this one, but he really does think he's like. God's special little boy. Which is kinda fair, cause he gives fucking EVERYTHING to these people, to the doctors, to the soldiers, even to the enemy, because he just wants people to be okay. He wants people to stop fighting and to heal and to love one another. And he also wants someone to tell him he's doing a good job and that he's making a difference and he wouldn't believe them but it would be something. Also he wants to punch people sometimes. All the time. He could kick anyone's ass in single combat. I love him.

Am I missing anything.

RADAR!!!!! They put a child in a warzone but luckily he is hyper-competent and literally psychic. He makes me sad because he is 19 years old and he has a teddy bear and he is short and angry and eats a lot because he's a growing boy and everyone makes fun of him for having teenager behavior when he is!!!! A teenager!!!! He graduated highschool yesterday!!!!! He's the same age as me and he's in a warzone!!!!!! Get him out of there!!!!! Put him in college and let him work a boring ass fast food job like a normal teenager!!!!! And stop laughing at him for having a teddy bear!!!!!!! He's not even that short, it's just that all the guys in this show are at least 6 feet tall. Anyway, he basically runs the camp because Henry is fucking incompetent (affectionate) so yeah. This child is their commanding officer and the only one anyone respects.

Their actual commanding officer is Henry Blake. He just wants to go home and see his wife and kids again and go fishing and chill the fuck out. He's a good surgeon but genuinely a pathetic army man. But also I love him so much cause listen. He could just fuck off. We see another guy in his same rank and position who just hangs out in Tokyo the whole time making money off this shit. So despite being very afraid all the time, Henry sticks around in a shitty camp 3 miles from the front to patch up kids full of lead. He stays not out of any duty to the army, but a duty to his patients and his people, because he's a good person and a good doctor and genuinely one of the bravest people around. He could've been a coward and hid, but he stayed and he helped people and even though he knew the risks, it just never occurred to him that he could abandon his people to do it all without him. He stayed and he died and he never saw his wife and kids again and he never met his newborn son. He tells his oldest son over the phone to be good while he's gone, to stay strong and keep everything running until he comes back, and he never comes back. I am genuinely crying. Fuck. I hope he's catching the best fish at the big lake in the sky.

Anyway. I'm gonna stop before this gets out of hand. More than it has.

#sorry. you asked.#am i projecting severely onto half of these characters? thats nobody's business #mash #thank you for your service (letting me rant about this 50 year old sitcom with no particular theme)#also for context Goodbye Farewell snd Amen was the finale and its a heart wrenching tragedy of an episode. so yknow. spongedbob.

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