#but i really wish i didn't have to put it out there like that

[mr-mercutio]

I remember once I was at a T-shaped intersection, crossing on the right side of the T from top down. About a second into walking into the street, y'know - after waiting for the lights to change and the walk signal to come on, this guy revs up and pulls into the intersection, ready to turn right. Already breaking the law of course, pulling right into the street before I was all the way across. And then he leans out of his window and starts screaming at me to hurry up and get across the street.

I didn't even have the opportunity to check for this fucker to see if he was going to let me cross. Put aside that I had right of way and had waited for the lights to change, he hadn't even BEEN at the intersection, just came zipping down at me.

I didn't feel terrified until after the whole thing was done. In the moment I was just so angry because how dare he, honestly? How dare he come so close to being able to just murder me with his fucking truck and then get mad at ME because I'm slowing him down by a few seconds?

I was so mad that I actually stopped in the middle of the crosswalk and looked him dead in the eyes. And I wish this was the part of the story where I could say he looked ashamed of himself, where I could think maybe he learned something that day that would change how he drove or treated people. Maybe he looked back at me and realized how much power he held over my life in that moment and mouthed "sorry" at me.

But no, he just got more angry and leaned on his horn and called me a faggot. I must have been the worst part of his day, the way he was acting.

So I just gave him the finger and resumed crossing the street, albeit at a snail's pace because I'm a petty little bitch when I'm mad. And as soon as there was any clearance behind me he went zooming off, still screaming at me. I could see another driver waiting at the intersection, one who had a red light still, look absolutely horrified. I think she felt more shame as a driver than this guy did.

And seeing her face was when I felt scared. When the reality dawned on me of how easily I could have been killed in that moment just because I was an inconvenience to an asshole. I slowed him down for an extra 20 seconds, and he treated me like absolute trash. He could have killed me so easily. The only power I had in that moment was to make his day just a little bit worse by extending the inconvenience a few more seconds. And I took that power gleefully in the moment, but I really shouldn't have. I should have just crossed the street because what if he did decide then to run me over? I would love to say that even this douchebag supreme wouldn't be that bad, but honestly? How could I know? If he was that willing to fly off the handle with zero provocation, I shouldn't have trusted that he wouldn't run me down for slowing down and giving him the finger. But taking the tiny bit of power I had in that moment felt really good and necessary in the heat of the moment.

I dunno, I don't have a good lesson here. I don't regret it in the slightest but I do also think it wasn't the safe thing to do. It wasn't worth the risk of dying in that moment.

Some people have no concept of the power they hold. This story is far and away not the only time I feel like I've come close to being killed by drivers who were stupid, angry, mean, or just plain not paying attention. I wish more people would remember that they're piloting a killing machine at high velocity and I'm just a little fleshbag out in the open air. I have to be so careful, and it makes me a bit bitter to watch the drivers who blithely zoom around and forget to stop or slow down or check for pedestrians like me.

Nothing exposes the inability of people to navigate power imbalances quite like the relationship between drivers and pedestrians.

For example, I just had a driver get screaming-at-me mad because I stopped walking at a slip lane to make sure he was going to stop. And like, buddy, I know I have the right of way, but if I assume you are going to stop and I guess wrong, I will literally die. Whereas if I wait to see if you're actually going to slow down, I am just delaying both of us by a couple of seconds. And that might have more to do with why I made the choice that I did than my being a stupid bitch who needs to learn the rules. Like, if you can't understand why the fact that you could effortlessly accidentally kill me (and likely face no consequences) means I am reticent to assume the best from you, maybe you just shouldn't have any power over anyone ever.

[jackalope-patronus]

An un-promised dance.

summary :: part two to this. Sebastian finally takes a breath from his ego to reach out to you, however you won’t be quick to forget how he treated you this time.

note :: thank you all dearly for the recent support, I so appreciate it.

Even with your nose deep in a book, and all the will in the world, you still couldn’t drift into study and away from your plight; Sebastian.

“So you’re not talking to me then, are you?” He asked.

Your chest balled in anger, but you refused to let it out. Instead, you slapped your book shut and stood. Sebastian’s attitude quickly failed and he took your arm, standing. The whole study room seemed to cease its already low chattering and stare at you.

“Wait a moment. I’m sorry, alright? Just— talk to me, please.”

Rich, oh it was rich to see him pathetically grasping your arm, with those green eyes looking at you like… like that! I can’t stand your cold shoulder. I can’t stand to have you turn away from me in the halls. Can’t stand not having you by my side. The look said.

However you interpreted it to say I can’t stand you ignoring me, only I’m allowed to ignore you. And given Sebastian’s recent actions you’d be right to think so.

“Why should I, Sebastian.” It was no ask, more of an exasperated demand.

“Because we’re bound to make up, might as well get it over with now.” He really did seem to believe that and likely couldn’t comprehend that you’d been seriously contemplating if your friendship with Sebastian was worth these brief but hard moment of turmoil. Wondering if it was time you outgrew him.

“And what about when you were ignoring me?” You asked.

“I knew we’d find our way back.” It was as easy as stating his favourite colour.

You exhaled, and with your breath the frustration filling your chest left. “Alright.” Truely you hated how much you relented to him, but it wasn’t as though you were accepting his friendship just yet. You were still being guarded. He could see it in your furrowed brow and tense shoulders. Half the other students ‘studying’ could see it, too.

“Seems we have a bit of an audience, though. Shall we leave?” He asked, a sliver of a smile forming on his lips.

You only sighed as an answer, took your book and quill and followed Sebastian wherever he wanted to take you. Which happened to be the undercroft.

You both stepped through the entrance, Sebastian offering his hand for balance and you taking it very reluctantly. Truthfully, you missed his warm hands. You hated it was the first thought you had when he touched you.

You put space between him, finding a pillar to lean on, still holding your stone (slightly broken) cold face.

"It has been a while since you've visited the undercroft, hasn't it?" His brown eyes flickered to you, then to the lanterns you once lit up with incendio.

I know. You thought. I missed it. But you weren't ready to admit that to him. "Sebastian, you didn't take me from my studying for reminiscing, did you?" You wished the words left you harsher, but you'd never been the type to have a tone about you.

"Not entirely. Thought some fond memories might cool you off." You wondered if he meant it as a jab, or was just being plain genuine. You decided you'd better look as if you didn't care. He continued on, "I've felt your absence, you know. It has been hard to concentrate on things when I've been wondering when I'll be able to catch you next." He wasn’t speaking recently, this was about before the ball.

"I-" You sighed, you had known Sebastian was off for some time, but you hadn't known this was the reason. Your absence was angering him, causing his duelling to be subpar, it could've leaked into other aspects of his life, but you'd been too preoccupied to notice. Were you truely neglecting a friend? Or was Sebastian being unreasonable? You wished Ominis was here to give you the answer.

It seemed the anger you were so keen to hang onto had fizzled out like sparks of a fire. You couldn't find the words. Another silence, and Sebastian decided he wasn't done confessing his sins to you.

“You hadn’t been asked for so long because of me.”

“Pardon?” You lifted your head, not sure you quite caught what he'd said.

“To the ball. I had… staked my claim on you, so to speak. A few of the boys knew I’d had plans to ask you, so they never did. But Sweeting— well I never expected a girl to ask you.” That confession seemed to chip at his confidence because he looked away and pulled at his tie.

“Oh,” you accepted. Merlin. Why couldn’t you be mad? Why weren’t you getting mad? Why weren’t you bubbling with rage at his blatant possessiveness. The answer was all too simple, really, you liked it. Especially when it was directed at you.

"Oh..." Sebastian repeated, attempting to understand your accepting tone.

"Oh." You nodded.

"You're not mad?" He cautiously asked.

"I am," you lied, "I can't believe you'd be so... self righteous. I don't belong to you and you're selfish for thinking you're able to take away other people's right to ask me to a ruddy ball." The words began to convince you.

Sebastian seemed relived by your returning frustration, as did you. "I'm sorry."

"Good. You're lucky things ended the way they did, I had a lovely time with Poppy and truthfully I don't regret a thing," another lie. You were only able to enjoy Poppy's presence for a mere moment, all the while Sebastian was plaguing your mind. And you did have regrets. Regrets you weren't able to consider other options, or go with a close friend and specifically attend with Sebastian. It was all so utterly stupid and feeble that you had to take a moment and remember the ball was over and that you'd never have to deal with these petty dramas again.

Another silence befall you two, although Sebastian seemed to be distracted by the thoughts hammering his head.

"Do you love her?" He asked,

“Poppy?” You gaped.

“Yes.”

“Well I— she’s lovely but—”

“Then is it Ominis?”

“What?”

“Me, then?”

You exhaled pitifully, “oh Sebastian, why do you torture yourself?”

That seemed to be answer enough, because Sebastian rose his chest and the longing left his face. "Don't say another word. Come here tonight, wear something nice. Don't tell anyone else."

He had taken to ushering you out of the undercroft, patting your back and edging you to the exit. “Sebastian—”

“I’ll be here, don’t worry. Go, go.”

You wondered when Sebastian told you to wear something nice… did he mean nice or nice? You’d decided to play it safe and stick with evening wear, simple but elegant.

Although, as you opened to entrance to the undercroft and was faced with the room looking cleaner than you’d ever seen it, you silently cursed for not putting more effort into the way you looked.

“Sebastian?” You stepped further inside and was met with a simple melody ringing around the room. Oh Merlin, he’s set up a personal Yule ball date just for the two of us.

The only thing missing was the boy himself, so you decide to take a deep breath and try your best to prepare yourself for whatever attempt at an apology (or confession?) this would be. Already you could feel yourself crumbling into him, despite not being near the boy at all.

Checking to make sure Sebastian was nowhere around, you took out your wand and tapped on the casual fabrics you put on, then your hair until you looked just as put together as you did at the actual Yule ball.

Just in time, too, because the gears of the entrance began clicking and before you knew it, Sebastian was stepping through in his suit with an untied tie in his hands.

“You’re early,” he stumbled out, eyes gazing over you.

“You said tonight, it’s night, isn’t it?” You clasped your hands together, suddenly wishing you were back in your casual clothes.

“You’re right at that.” He stated, holding the tie behind himself.

“Want me to do that for you?” You asked, taking a gentle step towards him.

He handed it to you, “thanks, I can’t say I’m any good at bow ties.”

“Famously,” you laughed, thinking of Ominis’ wonky tie from when you danced with him, “I don’t know if I’ll be any good, but..” you trailed, sliding the fabric around his neck and under his collar.

You caught Sebastian staring for a moment but his eyes darted past you and his jaw tightened. “You look nice.”

“As do you,” you returned. His throat bobbed as you looped the tie. “There, all done.” You had, for a moment, inched back and as though your warmth was a fire during a relentless winter, Sebastian grabbed for you, keeping you close. Quickly, he corrected himself, taking your hand and waist as though he meant to pull you into a waltz. You stumbled a little, but kept composure.

“Shall we?”

You nodded gently and he took you into himself and along a dance with the echoed music. This was how it was meant to be, you think, the two of us. As you melt into the familiarity of his frame and his smell you considered that people who harp on about soulmates are perhaps onto something.

You let yourself relax into him and in response, Sebastian took more of you, whisking you around whilst you embrace him.

As though he’d been clouded with thoughts Sebastian suddenly said, “you’re very dear to me.”

You sighed contently and met his eyes, “you have a funny way of showing it.”

“I know— but you know it, don’t you?”

“Know what?”

“That I— care for you.” More tipped on his tongue, but he kept the confession in.

“I do.” You smiled tiredly, you always did know. “Do you know how I feel about you?”

“Tell me, please.”

"I love you, Sebastian.” You squeezed his laxing shoulders kindly and could see a lightness reach his eyes, as though many sleepless nights had been lifted from him.

“I love you too.” He returned very quickly. You breathed a laugh, and he clutched your side tightly. “What?” He crooned, “what’s so funny?”

“It’s appalling how long it took to get us here.” You shook your head.

“I’ll only partially take the blame for that.” He grinned.

“Only partially?”

“Well, I’ll take all the blame if you promise to stay with me.”

“I promise, Sebastian.”

@moonjellyfishie @thegoodnamesaretaken @ameliaphoenix

[lesbianherald]

random not super consequential thought (apologies if you’ve addressed this already): was your mental image of viktor in coming home commune era long hair or academy era short hair? or some variation thereof? what about the fantasy au?

since i wrote coming home before season 2 came out, season 1 for sure! i kind of imagined them mirroring their act 1 looks, but older, jayce maybe with some stubble.

I went this way (in my head) because I imagined this world (for all of its flaws) as a kinder one where neither would age as quickly. this is a choice i kind of regret now? again at the time i was like dont think just write this stupid lil thing and your brain will stop feeling like a prison DKFSJHD.

you were probably expecting two sentences but since we are on the topic, descriptors are kind of high key my biggest regret with coming home. at the time they didn't have many looks. but also I was so so so used to/deep into writing screenplays that i forgot my prose background/just hadn't worked that muscle in a long time. this is also why I personally HATE the first two chapters - because in my own re-reads I can really tell I'm trying to re-work the prose muscle back to life let me tell you it is not like riding a bike.

when you write a screenplay, you usually leave out a lot of what other departments would cover unless its super relevant - costumes, props, hair, etc - and it was only when i was like wayy too late in the game that I was like fuck bro. I screenplayed them DSKLFJHSD. again - it started as a project for me - i had no ideaaaaa you know. now i definetly wish i put more care into describing them.

but that also has created for a really fun side effect of different interpretations of them in the art.

this is something i'm really excited to NOT do in my upcoming fic. in fact, i'm working with an incredibly kind artist in the fandom on really bringing their looks to life. which is so fun. and i'm so excited for ppl to see it.

Viktor is in his long hair baylage era but he's.... not purple LOL. He's using his crutch. Has a sick cloak. Won't give too much else away.

Jayce has his beard/longer hair. Starts out out of his brace but gets an injury where he subsequently wears it. Very similar to episode 8/9 jayce. He will have one feature that is very unique to this fic that he inherits at the end of chapter 1 that is very... well you guys will see its ... i have a flair for drama and romance what can i say.

[bethebesttoyou]

Times are Hard for Dreamers - Choi Beomgyu

synopsis: Friends Beomgyu and Y/N try to have a good day at the fair.

pairing: College student! Beomgyu x College student! reader

song: Times are Hard for Dreamers - Amelie

warning/tags: cursing, fluff!!, me trying to be funny and failing, friends to lovers, I wanted to make it jess and nick coded but Beomgyu is just too sweet... reader is an overly optimistic person!!!!

Wc: 3.6k (I swear im not doing this on purpose D:)

A/N: Beomgyu fic... we win. I actually really wanted to write a Beomgyu fic for awhile but I didn't really have an idea, UNTIL NOW!!! I have like half of vampire in the corner worked on, but I started school, so idk IDK I'll have to see where I can go with that story. I also get so many ideas for longer fics, but I can't lock in :( In the meantime, I want to continue writing one shots!! :3

Beomgyu leans his head against the headrest, stretching out his arms and grunting before checking his watch again. He closes his eyes in frustration before looking back at your front door, his sunglasses dimming his overall view. When you told him 12 pm, he should've known better, should’ve read in between the lines, the way you excitedly ranted about the day you had in store for the both of you. He should've known when he surprisingly got you tickets to the very popular fall fair, that you would overwhelm yourself with planning. Now, 30 minutes later, he watches your front door intently, praying it opens. And it works, out you come prettily dressed in a tan long sleeve and plaid long skirt, both accentuated the curvature of your body so nicely, he wishes you could go back in so he can compose himself. But as you smiled widely at his presence, sending him a wave before adjusting your bag over your shoulder, he settled for a nervous cough and looked away, only looking back at you when you were finally sitting in the passenger seat. He scowls at you playfully. 

“Oh. Beomgyu we have to leave by 12 or we're gonna miss the opening…Oh Beom, please sleep early and get here on time, Oh Beom-” He mocked, only letting out a laugh when you punch his shoulder. 

“It's still 12…we’ll make it if you just drive, like now!” You roll your eyes playfully and start messing with his radio and he just scoffs, putting the car on drive. 

Beomgyu honestly couldn't care less about this fall fair, if it were up to him, he would've been home, relaxing after the terror from being buried in papers and exams and research during midterms, but he didnt think twice of buying them. When he saw the posters all over campus he knew you would want to go, he already pictured the way your eyes would brighten from the mere mention of the mazes, the games, the snacks, he knew you would just obsess over the last activity of the day, fireworks. And when he mentioned it to you, he was right. 

“I-I would love to!” You exclaim turning to your friends behind you, some of them snickering knowingly. 

“Hey gyu, where are our tickets?” Yeonjun bumps Kai’s shoulder before feigning ignorance. 

“Shut up.”

So maybe his crush on you wasn’t exactly hidden, he was a man after all, and it was only natural that someone as optimistic and bright as you would catch the attention of a pessimist that lacks that brightness in his life. He loved to act like he didn't care much about anything, but he cared a lot about you. He couldn't fight the urge of showing it, catering to your likings with fake annoyance, but in reality he lived for your excitement, it only fueling him to continue, he was surprised you've been the only one to not catch on, or maybe internally grateful you hadn't, he didn't think he was ready for that yet. 

But he thought of it, especially now as he heard your raving about the itinerary for the day, having done your research on the different activities and food stands being offered at the event, and he was glad to be the first one to ask you, he couldn't imagine you doing this with anyone else, he would rather die. 

“Jesus, does it tell you how I'm gonna die on that paper?” He teases anyways, and you grunt. 

“I want to take full advantage of today, we deserve a day of stress free fun!” 

“I guess I can agree.” 

“Trust me Gyu, we're gonna have so much fun, you're gonna want to come back.” You promised. “This paper is gonna be our lifeline today, just as long as we stick to it, we should be able to do everything! Here’s your copy.” 

He laughs at your ridiculous planning but believes in you anyways. He just wanted to spend time with you, grateful to have you all to himself, so he was more than willing to follow a piece of paper if it meant it was guaranteed. 

The car ride was meant to be a long one, the directions sending you out of the city you both occupied, to the closest open field your campus can find to set up. Yet, the drive didn't feel as long as Beomgyu expected, your voice causing him to lose track of time, paying attention to your silly stories and gossip he hated to admit was pretty interesting. 

“So, they were not dating? Just fucking?” 

“Ningning said that she said they weren't…and now they're just not talking anymore…” 

“That's annoying…” 

“That's what I'm saying!They definitely like each other, they’re just dumb.He’s gotta step up.” You roll your eyes and he can't help but feel the pink heat rise to his face. 

He finally parks, turning off the ignition and turns to you, once again taking in the sight. You were everything, he thought, there's not a single sweet word that doesn't describe you. Watching you as you straighten the paper, he watches your delicate fingers scan the page, before speaking. 

“Okay! Well, we missed the opening ceremony but it's fine, I didn't care much for it anyways…First on the list is for you. Let’s start with…coffee! yay!” You say hoping out of the car, him laughing at your excitement. Giving the worker the tickets, you immediately head towards the coffee stand to the right, ignoring that Beomgyu was in awe of the set up. It was the middle of the day, but the entire fair was lit up like those old carnivals you would see in the movies. Laughter and screams could be heard from every corner, the smell of popcorn and sweets mixing together and clogging his nostrils, he could see why you were excited, this place was like a manifestation of your personality: fun, nostalgic and comforting. 

“Beomgyu! I got your drink!” you yell from afar, and he turns around, walking, stepping towards you before, watching in horror as someone cuts him off, bumping into you and spilling both coffees on your chest. 

“Dude, what the fuck?” Beomgyu says turning to the offender, as they apologize profusely. 

“Are you okay?” 

“-you okay?” they both asked frantically, Beomgyu already taking your hand, starting to lead you to the closest stand with napkins. He completely misses the way your face turns pink, before you laugh awkwardly, distracted from his own flustered feeling, he feels like a Victorian man by just the touch of your soft hand, the hotness spreading from your connected hands to all over his body.

“Good thing, it wasn't hot coffee right?” You squeeze his hand before taking a napkin. 

You turn to the apologizing stranger, “it's fine! You're fine! It was an accident!” you say, before turning back again and smiling at Beomgyu, “it was an accident.” Now softer, trying to ease the scowl on his face. 

After politely rejecting the strangers' pleas to help, he finally leads you to another nearby stand, hoping to find a shirt to replace the sticky top you were now stuck with. After looking at the selections, the only one in your size was a muddy green shirt that had a random koala bear with sunglasses on with the words, “Koalified to party” Beomgyu looks at you with sorry eyes, as you gulp at the shirt. 

“So much for cute pictures today…” You say from behind the fitting room curtain.”But it's okay! This is gonna be a fun story to tell the group!,” You laugh lightly, walking out of the makeshift fitting room only to Beomgyu trying to stifle a laugh. You flick his forehead before continuing, 

“No! It looks good! You look good!” He laughs. 

“Well, forget coffee! Back to the paper! Next stop…um…the swings!” 

The high swings were towards the back, and Beomgyu noticed every time you looked down at your watch, you’d start walking faster, the furrow of your eyebrows becoming more evident as the walk continued. Once you got to the front, your smile came back and shined brightly towards the worker before dropping completely when he pointed out the line that stood behind you. 

“A-and um… how long is the wait?” 

“All ride lines right now are going to be about two hours or so.” the worker says, apologetically looking at you both. 

Beomgyu is starting to realize what type of day this was going to be, and he wanted to suggest going home, or finding something else to do, trying to avoid even more disappointment. If he had known it was going to be this packed or this difficult to enjoy the day, he wouldn't have suggested it at all and you would have had to plan an entire day just for it to completely fall apart in front of you. But when you turn to him with determination in your eyes, he remembers you are never one to back down.  

“Okay, new plan! We no longer wait for the rides, let's just play some games! Maybe head to the maze after! That should still give us time to make it back for the fireworks!” you say, your smile was not as big as it was 3 hours ago, but it was still there. Beomgyu wanted to check on you just in case. 

“You okay? We can always just-” 

“No time for that! We have the paper!” You say already walking away. 

—

It had been two hours into playing games, and after you exclaimed how obsessed you were with the giant  light brown teddy bear that hung from the corner of the stand, the bow that laid just below its ear making you squeal, you both took turns playing trying to knock down the obvious glued golden cups. You and Beomgyu both lost about 100 dollars combined. The carny had been a bored looking teenager, would laugh every time he saw you guys walk back to the end of the line, but you both were too frustrated to even care. Beomgyu honestly didnt want the stupid fucking bear, it wasnt worth it, but in his mind, you needed this win (and he wanted this win for you, so bad)and so each time it was his turn, he would throw the ball more aggressively, trying to fight the look of disappointment on your face when the cup would resist the blow. He didn't want to feel bad, but he did, immensely, as he watched you throw the ball and grunt loudly. You start rubbing your temple out of sheer frustration before sighing. 

“One more go…Just one more go, okay?” You say to him, and he watches you line up one last time, the look of determination etched on your face. Only for the small child in front of you to knock the golden cup, the ringing congratulatory bell going off as you watch with a straight face. The cheers were so loud and in Beomgyu’s opinion, obnoxious, that he wanted nothing more than to just comfort you, take you away from the scene and offer you some solace, but the fear of rejection kept him from doing so. 

“Well, it's maze time.” You say as you watch the child and their parents walk off with the giant bear, your eyes reflecting shame, embarrassment and sadness. Beomgyu decided that his heart could bear the negative emotion in your eyes, it wasn't you,he thought.

“Hey what if we just get out of here? Get something to eat, yeah?” 

“N-no we cant! The paper! The maze! fireworks! We can't miss the fireworks! You bought me these tickets, we can let them go to waste!” you panic, but your eyes look defeated. Beomgyu doesn't want to burst your bubble, he really wishes things could have been different, but he can't stand the thought of watching you get disappointed again. With the way things are going, he knew the fireworks were gonna follow the same fate. He knew you to be optimistic, never letting things get you down, but he wasn't so sure as to why you were so determined for this day to go perfectly. You had never been so obsessed with the details before.  

“y/n… it's okay, really! … l-lets just go…” your eyebrows, that were slightly slanted and eyes that were soft, immediately switched to anger, with now furrowed eyebrows and flames in your eyes. 

“Y-you can go then. But I'm going to the maze. Don't follow me. ” You say stomping away, leaving Beomgyu shocked and guilty. He wasn't sure what was going on, what had made you so determined to finish the day, even if it meant you were no longer standing by the end of it. 

He felt horrible. All he wanted was to see your smile again, to see you enjoying the fair like he had hoped you would, yet this mysterious pressure was nearly forcing you into a breakdown. He wanted to fix this, needed to. He was determined now, no longer caring if he looked too doting, even if it made his feelings visible to you, he was going to make it up to you. Starting with that fucking bear. 

He stalks up to the stand, where the same bored looking teenager now stood with an amused look on his face, watching Beomgyu stand mere feet away from him. 

“How much for the bear.” They had replaced it with a new one already. 

“Not for sale, man, you gotta win.” 

Beomgyu stares at him, hoping to read him well. 

“Ill give you 50 bucks for it.” 

“Ha! Make it a hundred and you got a deal.” 

“60.” 

“120, and I'll throw in a ferris wheel ride with my buddy over there.” Beomgyu blushed at the thought. That sparked an idea. 

“During the fireworks?” the boy thought about it for a second. 

“I guess I can make that happen…might cost a bit extra though…” 

“Fuck, whatever. Deal.” 

–

Beomgyu thought about waiting for you outside of the maze entrance, but it had been 30 minutes and you were still not out. He had seen those that enter after you already come out and he began to feel nervous. Worried thoughts of missing the fireworks became worried thoughts of something happening to you in the maze. His worries got worse when your phone was sending him to voicemail. 

So with tired arms and heavy grunts, he walks into the maze, keeping track of his turns, which he learned he didn't have to, you weren't that far from the opening, yet, you were scrunched down, head buried in your hands, crying. 

“Y/N?” He says muffled the giant bear barely fitting through the small isles of corn. 

“Oh thank god!- Wait what the hell?” You said, tear stained cheeks, and now wide confused eyes staring at the bear that covered most of his body.

‘Why are you crying?” He asks, and it almost looks like the bear is talking. 

“I got lost…” You were lost in the presence of the bear, “D-Did you win this?” 

“Um…”

He had questions too, but as he looked up and realized that it was finally dark, he pulled your hand and began to run out of the maze, 

“Questions later! We're gonna be late!” 

“For?” 

“You’ll see!” 

—-

Once you got to the ferris wheel, you watched as Beomgyu walked past the long line into the stand. Beomgyu notices you are about to interrupt, glossy eyes and all, but turns when he hears his name. 

“You Beomgyu?” 

“Yes.” 

“Is the bear your date? If not, it's gonna have to stay down here, it's not gonna fit.” the carny chuckles, Beomgyu glares back. 

“Whatever gets me up there man.” 

“Hey… A-Are we getting on?” 

Beomgyu notices your face that was just laced with pure confusion. He smiles softly before leaving the bear behind, leading you to your cart, sitting next to you and securing your seatbelt. It's only then does he understand the gravity of the situation and he's thinking he might have flown a little too close to the sun. This was, very clearly, a romantic gesture, and Beomgyu had no plan, whatsoever. This was it, he planned getting you up here, watching the fireworks, but then what? What can you do on a ferris wheel in a platonic way? Talking! You could talk! Talk while you wait for the fireworks! 

He tries to think of things to say, but how can he?  when you are so close and he can smell your fruity perfume, mixed with a hint of coffee. Your lips ,that had always attracted his eyes to stare at them while you spoke, now don't have to say anything for him to notice them there, parted and soft before stretching into a shy smile. 

“...How did you do all this?” he shakes his head.

“That doesn't matter, I'm sorry the day has been such a mess and I haven't been much help either…” You scoff. 

“That's definitely not your fault, I'm sorry…the one that wanted to make this all perfect.” 

“Yeah, why is that?” Beomgyu feels self conscious as you stare at him for a minute, before laughing awkwardly. 

“Can I give you something? You promise not to laugh?” He feels the pressure from your words, fear of what may come next. Oh god, he thought, someone told you about his feelings… He nods anyway, accepting fate. You were now at the highest point on the ferris wheel, and Beomgyu begged for the show to start, scared of hearing what you were going to say. 

You reach into your bag, before pulling a thinly worn folded notebook paper before handing it to him. Written on top was his name and a small heart next to it. He shivered at the sight. 

“I-its a note… I wrote it the day of graduation” You laugh, “it's silly and it was never going to see the light of day, but I don't know…I felt ready. Well sorta…” You are looking away now, trying hard not to make it more awkward than you are starting to feel. The fireworks start, popping and lighting up the sky, but Beomgyu can't focus as he's now shakingly opening the note. 

A confession note. 

Beomgyu gasps, reading the contents, before looking at you. You’re looking up in admiration of the colors before you, the shapes that manifest in the night sky, a nervous smile sets on your lips, fingers nervously holding on to the rail of your cart. He knows you feel his gaze on you but refuses to turn to him. 

“Y/N…” 

“It's okay, Beomgyu! Really! I just…I needed to do something about this letter… I was holding on to it for way too long.” You're not really talking about the letter, Beomgyu believes. When he can't find the words yet, you continue. 

“I just.. I hope this doesn't change us, I hope we can still be friends… Please…” Pleading eyes are what finally meet Beomgyu’s shocked ones and he finds you so beautiful in this moment, he can’t bring himself to say everything that he's ever wanted to. That he has waited for some kind of sign for two years, that you had occupied a space in his heart since the first day he's met you, that he did all this just for you, and would never ask for anything in return, that your smile and presence was more than enough. But instead, hoping to convey the mutual feeling or perhaps stronger ones,  Beomgyu grabs your face by each side and brings you closer, and you let out a squeal, the fireworks only getting more aggressive and intense. And it matches the way Beomgyu’s heart is feeling, accelerated, like it's about to explode as he lays his lips on yours, feeling the petal likeness of your lips.

And the butterflies swarm all over his body when you finally kiss back, fluttering your eyes closed, and pressing further in, shivering from your own nerves slowly dissipating. He hopes you can feel everything he’s thinking, everything he wants you to know, but in case you didn't, he pulls back and looks at you, now possessed with the same determination you had all day: 

“I dont want to stay friends. I want to be with you. I want this, all the time. I like you, Y/N. Please, tell me this letter still means something."He pulls a stray hair behind your ear, watching the pinkness in your cheeks get darker. 

“O-Of course it does. It always will.” You whisper with shining eyes. Your hands that had been glued on the railing, now moving to his waist and wrapping them around and hugging him tight. He sighs and smiles widely, hands now holding you close, it was only then had he noticed that the cart was making its way back down. At the entrance, was the giant bear, sitting patiently as you both got off the wheel, trying to pretend neither of your hearts were still pounding from excitement and giddyness. The carny holds a fist bump with a smirk that beomgyu shyly returns before grabbing the bear. 

“W-we missed most of the show, sorry…” He says after a moment of walking in silence. Remembering the taste of you, already growing addicted.  

“No! Don't be… it was perfect, actually the whole day was.” You say, your eyes still beaming with what he can only hope for satisfaction and fondness.

He laughs at that. Before putting an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer. Walking towards the car, you rambled about the maze, how the kid had to have had some steroid in him, he realized just how much the atmosphere has changed. The presence of something filled the air: the makings of new love. 

"You gotta let me borrow that shirt..."

"Shut. Up."

A/N: YAY!! you made it!!! thanks you for reading!! Like always, let me know what you think! :3

[mqriuss]

03 | Now playing: Dream Boy

from 'bad girls that haven't been caught' series

playlist | series masterlist

rindou is never not confused by you. he can never tell what mood you're in because of your consistent deadpan expression. you had two faces that you wore often—focused and resting. occasionally, you'd show some frustration but that's all he's ever seen.

the first day he started teaching you to play basketball after school was the day you asked him to. he remembers asking, "why do you want me to teach you all of a sudden?"

and he remembers you saying, "'cause you're the best basketball player in our class."

"that's not the answer i wanted."

"you asked why i wanted you to teach me, not why i wanted to learn. i don't think i'm misunderstanding anything." you shrugged, dribbling the basketball as best as you could.

rindou remembers standing, looking like a bathroom sign and gaping at you. "okay, smartass. so you did understand what i actually meant."

"shut up and help me already. i forgot how you said i was supposed to hold this."

on the second day he teaches you basketball, he didn't even know he was supposed to.

"this is a regular thing?"

"yes, i said i wanted you to teach me after classes."

"okay, but the plural form of class doesn't clarify you wanting me to do this everyday," rindou said, and he mentally cringes at how much like you he sounded.

"so, are you going to do it or not?" you asked with your arms crossed, foot tapping against the floor.

rindou looked you up and down and sighed. "i don't really have a choice, do i?"

"actually, you do. i've done your homework and you've taught me once. if you don't want to keep this up, it's fine."

he had no words. just, looked at you like you ruined the script of the movie of his life. and you did actually, with no emotion whatsoever. were you a robot? rindou took his glasses off, rubbing a hand over his face before putting them back on.

"so, you don't want to-"

"no, i'll do it."

the third day he teaches you basketball is today. curiosity is still eating at him and you were still avoiding telling him the actual reason why you wanted to learn basketball.

"you're not even, like, terrible at the other sports. you still learn for a good grade," he says. "so what's up with you and basketball?"

you shoot the ball towards the basket, and it successfully goes into the hoop—after several failed attempts.

"i don't like basketball, so i don't normally get a good grade for it. luckily, the bare minimum is enough," you answer him, but again, it's not quite the answer he's looking for.

"wait," rindou furrows his eyebrows. "now i'm even more confused. if you don't like basketball, why do you..." he trails off, seeing your gaze wandering.

members of the school's basketball team come entering. he tilts his head, "you said we could use the indoor court today."

you don't answer him, your eyes fixated on the group and he wishes he knew who exactly you were looking at.

rindou doesn't know most of their names, but he does recognize the point guard. hayashi fumio, the smartest guy in the class and also your academic rival. he sure is chatting it up with the pretty first year manager, rindou thinks to himself.

"guess i was wrong," you remark in response after some delay. "we'll just have to continue outdoors."

fumio looked like he was going to wave at you, but stops when he sees that you're not sparing him a single glance. for a moment, he makes eye contact with rindou but doesn't get enough time to react when their manager calls out to him again.

← prev chapter | next chapter →

[zara-renata]

jumping up and down pls pls pls tell me your thoughts on caleb’s lore in the main story and what u think after going through his memoria and bond. as soon as they brought up the chip in the main story i wanted to throw my ipad bc i thought they were gonna do the whole “oh he’s not actually like that his mind is twisted from the chip” thing. but then he directly addressed that idea so i was like ok wow i guess not but everyone seems to think he is actually being controlled by the chip??? idk

heey thank you for this ask, i have a lot of thoughts as usual, thank you for asking <3 just a note: i wholly accept the gege caleb is your adopted brother aspect of his story like in the CN, KR, and JP versions, so i'm referring to him as mc's brother below. you can switch out brother for childhood friend; in either case, mc has a deeply rooted relationship with him.

First off, if I had a braincell I might have worried about the chip controlling his brain as a plot device, but I got the yandere vibes from him before he blew up, so that didn't even occur to me. But who are these 'everyone' of whom you speak? I don't think he's being controlled by the chip to any extent that matters in regards to his feelings and behavior towards mc. He's actively fighting against the chip's influence with his wildly cute and bizarre little black hole in his brain blocking its further invasion into his mind. the cliffhanger is, can the EVER scientists figure out a way to work around the block he's thrown up to actually exert control over him? The answer will be -> fuck if I know, I've never played an infold/PG game to later stages, but this is a dating sim, i'm assuming he'll be fine.

But I do think that all of his obsession about MC is wholly his own. His only wish in high school was MC's name -> MC herself. His need to protect her, to provide for her, all his own. he's been wearing a mask his whole life, he tells MC straight up that 'maybe this is how i've always been' because that's who he has always been. he's just finally "done playing these games" and is finally unapologetic about what he wants and is tired of fighting himself in getting it. I love him so much for it. "I know best, I'm the only one who can do this for you, and i'm going to do it whether you like it or not." and then if MC refuses to listen to him, if she pushes back, he looks like a kicked puppy and still keeps doing it. He's Like That without the chip. Is what he's doing okay? No man, this is unhealthy as fuck. if you want a healthy relationship based on mutual trust and support, you don't lie to and drug your sister-girlfriend. you don't urge her to be a hunter and then not trust that she can also take care of herself. you don't loom outside the cafe she's out at friends with and scare her friends into thinking you're some kind of abusive controlling asshole. I mean, unless you're caleb, and he doesn't care, he's finally owning his red flags. But I think it's fabulous to see his pikachu face when MC is like, i don't know you anymore, I might not want to see you for awhile, i'm pissed that you're still treating me like a defenseless little girl when i'm a trained killer now too. he deserves to look like that after all the shit he pulls. i like that infold just takes him right to the edge but doesn't push him over into 'okay this isn't fun anymore' territory with all of his core traits and motivations. he does let her go in the end, he lets her get in the airplane, escape the cage he's dying to put her in. with just the little card, begging her forgiveness, the forgiveness she promised him years ago.

But i digress. I really like the main storyline, but it's not without its flaws. So the things I liked: i'm shocked and happy that they made him full on yandere with the drugging mc and locking her in the house and then locking her in the infirmary and sidelining her at every opportunity in order to protect her. Those parts were great. I think the main story line was a wonderful showcase of how him as a character. I love his tenderness, and his suffocating presence were really well done. I loved how unhinged he is when MC says she doesn't need him, and he knocks over the apples and is laughing in breathless disbelief. Unmasked caleb = hot and a little scary. but please note! even when he's really upset, he does not hurt her! he's a hell of a lot more gentle than sylus! just, you know, throwing that out there.

What I didn't like: I thought that the plot was kind of all over the place. and like they often do in games like these, they nerfed MC in order to emphasize caleb's personality and traits and strengths. the whole mia and kevi storyline was a tragedy, and MC made some stupid-ass choices in it for an elite hunter. Like, the parallels with CalebMC were really clumsy, it felt a bit exploitative because they were such little kids, and for me its only value was highlighting how little Caleb cares about collateral damage in his quest to protect MC. He does not give a fuck if a little girl just like MC dies, as long as MC herself lives. That's some stone-cold villain shit, and I like it. They gave me my green flag with Sylus, I'm happy to have someone with such chilling aspects to his character as a nice balance. ALSO with the main storyline: Look, I love the other LIs. But Zayne, you're green grass, you're so lovely, but i am here for my toxic brother-boyfriend, why are you showing up and making me love how gentle and tender you are, genuinely are, unlike the fucked up walking disaster of a man i'm absolutely swooning over, who is gentle and tender in the way a child is when accidentally suffocating carefully-caught butterfly under a glass bell. Go on zayne, back to akso, I want more of the insecure border collie/german shepard crossbreed puppy masquerading as a colonel.

So because I am mainly interested in this game for the characters and their relationships to MC, I don't really mind that my low expectations for the the actual plot of the game tend to be proven correct and leave so much to be desired. but, If the plot was perfect I wouldn't feel the need to write fic to fix it, so I'm not too upset.

Another thing I hated, but I knew i'd hate: their reunion was so tepid. MC's joy in seeing him again, the relief that he's actually alive, her rage, her grief, everything he put her through in the past year -> like with sylus, glossed over, not addressed to the full extent necessary for a fun story or for emotional catharsis. i thought it was hilarious that mc is like, oh my brother is now a space nazi, and she is immediately ride-or-die, 'i don't even care that you're doing such awful shit, i've got your back no matter what,' even though he put her through so much and reveals himself through the whole main story to be Not The Brother She Knew. Who is this stranger? Apparently MC doesn't care, he wears caleb's face, so she's going to trust him. incredible. stupid. hilarious. but, oh well, that's what fic is for, to fix this nonsense. sidenote: Sylus didn't get this level of benefit of the doubt! MC made him suffer for SO long, suspecting him, not trusting anything he did! justice for sylus! and he had done way less horrible shit than MC watches caleb do!

As for the memoria and the bond: i love that he's been obsessed and nuts about her since high school, long before he left for the DAA. I love that the 4 star cards are all set in the past, but slowly show their growing romantic feelings for each other in high school, and don't just focus exclusively on cute childhood nostalgia. i love that they show how loving caleb is, when he's not wearing his space nazi uniform. because yes he's controlling, possessive, ruthless in a way that not even sylus is, but he really does love mc. he really does want whats best for her, and i think one of his character developments in the game will be learning to let her walk next to him instead of always sidelining her and making her feel less-than as a result. i love that she and caleb fight, and get in spats, and then make up, and he shows all of his emotions on his face. I love that in his memories he tells her that she's beautiful, that he thinks she's amazing. he's so open with his affection for her, and i love that so much, it's heart-fluttering.

Also some more thoughts about Caleb and Sylus I was sharing with @minniestarmj today: i love that caleb and sylus are two sides of the same coin. they're both caretakers, they both are obsessive about mc, they both track her and stalk her, and want what's best for her and to be the ones to give it, but Sylus never considered himself human but slowly finds his humanity in mc, and caleb, if he ever had humanity, slowly loses it because of mc.

they're both brain-empty, only-mc levels of motivation. sylus, though not being human, cares about weaker creatures. caleb only cares about mc, despite being human.

sylus is assured, stable, deeply devoted, MC is his other half, and just as strong and capable as he is. caleb is deeply insecure, unstable, has a trouble keeping a lid on his need for control of and protection of mc. sylus fully respects mc, trusts she can do anything, and is just waiting to step in to support when/if necessary. caleb is fear motivated-i think he does respect, admires, worships mc, but is too afraid of anything happening to her and leaving him alone to give her the freedom she craves/needs.

I love that sylus is the king of control, and can give it up so easily to MC, whereas Caleb is so desperate for control, and is always on the verge of losing it around MC. that's a nice fucking contrast to play with in their respective romances.

All in all, with both Sylus and Caleb, I get my healthy, sweetest beyond measure dragon boy and i get my unhinged yandere cyborg boy, and i love them both very much. i'm happy with the caleb as a character, and all the content they've given us so far. it's a mess, just like him.

So! despite all my bitching i love it and I'm having a great time! Thanks for the ask and making it this far in this rambling diatribe!!

[spideyanakin]

Fiyero request! Something like childhood friends reunited or friends to lovers. Thanks!

strawberry tarts (fiyero. t)

synopsis ➾ gn! reader, purple butterflies and strawberry tarts; the memories of him who turned bittersweet with growing up. He replaced them with lovers and careless days, you replaced the memories with studying, never thinking your new worlds would ever collide again. [w.c 3.3k]

warnings ➾ angst, miscommunication, fiyero being too adorable for this world, his parents being questionable.

fiyero masterlist

main masterlist

read part 1 first - purple butterflies

You didn’t know why you had agreed. A peculiar feeling really. One that went against your wishes of keeping a distance. And as Fiyero grabbed your hand, brushing his fingers with yours, you knew the distance was going to be harder and harder to keep.

That's how you found yourself amidst the dance floor of the Oz Dust, his hand against your back as you swayed to the rhythm of the band.

You were stiff, to say the least. Feet tumbling over one another at each careful step, eyes darting away from his. Uneasiness resting in your irises as he attempted to make you turn to the beat of the song.

You awkwardly stumbled back into him, his hand resting a new time against the small of your back. You felt as though his presence was made of fire, surely his fingers would burn through the violet fabric adorning your back.

"That bad?" He smirked, one of his easygoing smirks that made you want to hit the back of his head. Your eyes darted to meet his. "You look tense," he noticed.

"Oh," you cleared your throat. "Sorry." You awkwardly swallowed, mouth dry as you tried to make sense of the swirling feelings fluttering in your mind. You knew you were tense, you did not need him bringing it up.

He kept the butterfly bracelet. He gave you the most gracious, genuine smiles. He had asked you to dance.

Great Oz, you were losing your grip on reality.

"It's alright," he offered yet a new princely smile, the ones that came so easily to him. You bathed in awkwardness as you looked back at him. Owl eyes trying to decipher every micro-expression lodged on his features. You were doing your best attempts at trying to slither through your feelings, grasping at any dot to connect in the myriad of unanswered things Fiyero threw your way.

You don't know how long you sat in that awkwardness.

"I can't believe you kept it," he broke your swirling thoughts, hand gently squeezing yours.

"What?"

"Your bracelet."

You blinked, confusion seeping through you yet again. You were powerless under his blue eyes, incapable of offering anything else but a weak, "of course I did."

Your mouth suddenly went dry again, or maybe it hadn't stopped being dry in the last ten minutes. You felt shy under his gaze, you wanted to curl like a little animal who only wished for the comfort of its warren. Sink into your pillows and forget this had ever happened.

But you didn't leave his side. You looked at him, eyes softening as a mix of pain and sadness picked at your stomach, fizzling right up to your gaze. Your eyes were becoming glazed and you almost caught a slight change in his own eyes. Did he notice?

"I'm surprised you kept it," you managed to pull out, hand squeezing his.

"Why would I have removed it?" His voice was gentle, laced with a tone you couldn't decipher; utter confusion, honesty, mixed with...disappointment? Was he also being condescending? It was a puzzle your mind struggled to put in place and all you found yourself stammering and stuttering.

"I- I don't know- you-"

"I'm the one who is surprised you kept it," he awkwardly chuckled, and yet another wave of confusion washed over you.

"Why?" You unintentionally squeezed his hand tighter, subconsciously preparing for the answer. You didn't know how much your hands could take the stress-squeezing coming from both sides.

"Well..." He looked away, averting your gaze before finally speaking in a shy voice. "You never replied to my letters..." His thumb caressed your wrist, and you didn't know if it was the gesture or his words that suddenly lit your body on fire and led your heart to almost stop.

"Your letters?" Your steps became twisted and you stumbled back into someone, nearly slipping if not for Fiyero catching you; and of course, he had to catch you as if you were in a fairytale novel, as if he had purposefully dipped you as part of the dance.

You were caged in his presence, and if you thought there would be no escaping him before, now you were truly trapped. Your entire weight was leaning against his grip on your back, your hands tangled behind his neck, fully dipped like one of those pretty princesses and princes you read about.

He was looking down at you, eyes asking for nothing but compassion and answers; maybe reflecting your own gaze as you peered up at him. You were so close your breaths were mangling into one and the jasmine, roses, and leather felt like your own.

"You wrote me letters?" You whispered, and the frown that adorned his face was so honest you didn't know how to react.

"Yes," he slowly lifted you up, and your knees would have buckled if not for the way he was holding you. "Hundreds of letters I sent you in the course of those, I don't know many years."

No. It couldn't be. He hadn't. Because if he had it meant he would have received your own hundreds of letters. Letters you had stopped bothering with years ago because they had been unanswered.

He was toying with you, and you weren't going to have it. No amount of charm could erase the pain and heartbreak you spent so many years mending.

"No," you scoffed, almost tapping your foot on the marble of the club. "I'm the one who sent you letters you never replied to-"

"What?"

"You're the one who never answered mine," you pointed to him, index finger digging in the blue of his coat adorning his chest before you took a step back, shedding his hands from your body.

He said your name, a dry chuckle falling from his lips, "no." He looked at you with something new in his gaze. "You never sent me letters."

"I did Fiyero! Almost every day for months and months, but you never replied," your eyes were stinging, why were they stinging?

This had to be a joke. This was a joke, right? Or a horrid nightmare you will wake up from tomorrow. Yes, a nightmare. That's what you would settle on.

You'll wake up tomorrow morning, in your dorm room, safely tucked in your sheets, and remember this was all a dream. Fiyero never came to Shiz, you never sneaked out to the Oz dust.

You were safe. Tucked away in your corner of the world.

But it wasn't a dream. It was cold, harsh reality.

"Neither did you reply to mine!"

"I never got your letters Fiyero!" You took a step back, gripping the edges of your outfit in an attempt to grasp at something. You looked up at the ocean above you, madly blinking; you would not cry in front of Fiyero.

Suddenly you heard a gasp from him, and you tore your gaze away from the swirling of colored fishes.

Color had drained from his face, and you were almost worried.

"I know what happened," he sighed, almost desperately. "Dammit, I didn't know they had done it this early, or to even you-"

"What are you-"

"My parents spelled my letters so I wouldn't receive or send anything from anyone but them, or royal business... I just didn't think they had blocked your letters."

"Fiyero this isn't a joke," you turned away, you couldn't take this, not right now.

"Hey, no" He shuffled to follow you. "I promise you, this isn't a joke. They thought that would discipline me or something. Focus on my studies, no outside distractions-" He grabbed your wrist.

You let him.

You blinked at him. You didn't know what to believe.

You searched his gaze for an answer. Much to your disbelief you found nothing but honesty.

You wanted to cry, but instead, you whispered.

"You sent me letters..."

"I did," his fingers gripped your wrist a little more, thumb grazing the back of your hand soothingly.

You looked down. How? It felt impossible. Fiyero sending you letters all these years.

"You never got mine..."

You felt hot, cold and everything else all at once. You wanted to leave, you wanted to hug him, kiss him. Anything to quiet your mind and the swirling thoughts that were circling you, caging you in their embrace. The tears were starting to pick at your eyes, and you knew you needed to make a choice.

You knew he would see you crumble in front of him, and you refused to do so.

"Hey," he attempted, feet moving to get closer.

"I have to go," you muttered, ripping your hand from his.

"Ranger, please," he was almost begging, sad eyes peering down at you.

You would not cave. Not even when he used the nickname he had made for you years ago.

"I'm sorry."

~

"You should stop sulking."

"No."

"Get out of bed for me at least?"

"No."

Elphaba crossed the room to you, sitting on the edge of your bed. She removed her bag from her shoulder and started shuffling through it.

"Fine, but I'm only giving you this afternoon to be sad, and tonight we're stealing ice cream from the kitchens, and tomorrow were going to the poppy field to have a good cry and scream and then you'll be back to normal."

"No promises... Although midnight ice cream does sound tempting."

"It does doesn't it," she wrinkled her nose in mischief, before dipping her attention back to her bag. "Here," she grabbed a big textbook flipping through the page where she placed a sheet of paper. "These are the exercises from Mr. Dillamond," she placed it on your bedside table before fishing for something else. A small leather-bound notebook. "My notes from the day are all in here, make sure you copy them before Saturday, I'll need them."

"Thank you, Elphaba," you muttered against your pillow.

"Can you stop pouting?"

"No," you snuggled further into your covers.

"He asked me if you were okay, you know?"

You didn't answer.

"I don't think he believed me when I told him you caught a cold."

"Hm."

She waited before speaking again, looking at your awkward shape from under the covers.

She knew you were hurt. She had attempted to make you feel better at lunch break, bringing you your favorite dessert and trying to cheer you up with a pep talk.

Even attempting to cheer you up by telling you Fiyero had officially friendzoned Galinda.

But nothing was working, and you were left a mess, attempting to find the truth and fiction within your conversation with Fiyero the night before.

She sighed, a long sigh you caught even from your place a thousand leagues under your covers.

"I could... Try to locate the letter? See if he's telling the truth."

You popped your face out of your covers, raising an eyebrow, "you could do that?"

"I mean... I can try?"

You sat up on your bed.

"I mean, you want answers right? Closure?"

"Yes…"

"Ok," she gave you one of her small determined smiles. "No promises."

You watched her; removing the bag from her lap before cracking her knuckles. She gave you an encouraging smile, sitting more comfortably on your bed before closing her eyes.

She sighed through her nose before speaking in her clear voice, "could you tell me what you wrote in one of those letters?"

"Huh-"

"If you don't mind-"

"No, it's fine," you cleared your throat. "They never started with Dear Fiyero, it was always-"

"Wait I think I see them," you watched her frown, one of her hands gripping your sheets. "They’re locked in magic boxes. He wasn’t lying." Your breath caught in your throat. "There are two boxes. I think one is for the ones he sent, other is received."

Your eyes were stinging. You were about to thank her, about to mutter something when she stopped you yet again.

"I think I can bring them."

"Here?" Your eyes widened, and you watched as her frown deepened. "Elphaba?"

No reply. You watched her, mouth agape as she was muttering something under her breath.

Suddenly, with a flick of her fingers, a loud thud rang across the room.

You squealed, she screamed. You both jumped off the bed, eyes darting from each other to the table in the middle of the room.

Indeed, two iron boxes rimmed with gold laid on the table.

"It worked," she muttered, disbelief written all across her face. "I can't believe it worked!"

"Elphaba you’re amazing!" You jumped to hug her before bouncing towards the chests.

They were gorgeous. Clearly built in Winkie country, with intricate golden loops and flower-like crests. You approached them, in awe. They were dusty; untouched and unopened for years.

You took the small lock in one of your hands. "They're locked"

"Let me do it," she approached you, and with yet another easy flick of her fingers, both chests opened by themselves, creating a big cloud of dust, floating above you like halos.

You coughed, before finally looking at the content.

"This one is to Fiyero," Elphaba muttered, "yours must be from," she noticed.

You grabbed the first letter atop the large pile, and indeed Fiyero Tigelaar was written in big where the sender's name should be. Fiyero had sent loads of letters, you thought. Both boxes were full, but this one had a significant amount more.

You flipped the letter.

Y/n L/n,

Shiz University

"This one's for me," you mumbled, frowning. "He wrote my address down as Shiz."

"Must be a recent letter."

"You think he sent me letters all the way til now?"

"Maybe you underestimated him..."

You raised an eyebrow, heart racing as you opened it.

My Dear Ranger,

I hope you are well.

Call me a fool for writing you, but I thought I would, at least today. I heard through the grapevine that you were at Shiz, I plan on transferring to Shiz next month. Maybe I will see you there.

Your-

You folded the letter, holding it against your beating chest, "he really did it. He really wrote me..."

"Well, here are some of your own letters. Unopened." Elphaba dropped a pile of ten letters she had scavenged from the box onto the table. And indeed, none of them had been opened or read. "There must be more at the bottom?"

"These are the last ones I sent, yes," you looked at them with a sad smile.

"You okay?" Elphaba placed a hand on your shoulder.

"I don't think so-" You were going to say more, try to express the feeling that felt like someone had just poured hot cement at the bottom of your stomach.

A knock rang across the room.

"It's opened," you shouted in a hoarse voice, staring at Elphaba with big eyes.

The golden handle of your door twisted, and when you thought the door would open to your roommate, you found Fiyero staring back at the both of you, bright blue eyes gone wide as they caught sight of the two boxes on the table, and the letters flowing out of them.

"I-" he stared at you like a fish, mouth agape. "I came to see if you are alright." He blinked, unsure of his next move. "Are these-?"

"It's on me. I used my magic to- um- bring them here."

Fiyero did not reply. Instead he walked across the room to you. He took a good look at the boxes, all too familiar with the design. His fingers traced the top of the box before his eyes landed on the opened letter in your hand.

"So you truly did not receive any of these..."

"I will leave now," Elphaba smiled, not leaving you time to respond before scurrying out.

Tension could be cut with a knife as he observed the letters with careful eyes. He looked at the opened one in your hand, a sad smile you had never seen on him before adorning his features.

You watched as his delicate hands fished inside the from Fiyero box; admiring all his never-answered letters. He silently looked at the dates, gently moved the ones he did not seem to care for to the side, right until he found the one he was looking for.

It could be differentiated from the others by its pastel blue envelope. He handed it to you without a word being shared, sparkling eyes pleading for you to take it.

You let go of a breath you did not know you were holding before your fingers reached the blue paper.

To 'Y/n L/n',

White Orchid Farm, Lilly Valley, Winky Country.

Your fingers traced the night sky blue ink.

"Any of yours you want me to read?" His voice was soft as he moved to the second box, fingers catching the one Elphaba had already placed on the table. It dated way before Fiyero's last letter to you, and his eyes seemed to scan the writing of his name on the back.

"Um, the one with the green flowers," you mumbled, watching as he nodded and dived his hands in the myriad of letters.

Your eyes went back to the one in your hand, you took a breath, filling your lungs with courage before starting to open the letter.

My dearest, Ranger,

I think it is time I admit to you, and maybe to myself in the process, that I do not know how to live without you. You are my guide, my through line to a life I keep wishing to escape, and I do not wish to deny it any further.

I love you.

I love you to the stars and back, actually not even the distance is enough to calculate my love for you.

Please come back to me,

Your Scarecrow.

"Fiyero-" You mumbled, eyes darting up to see him--still reading your own letter. You waited, watching as his eyes started to sparkle in comprehension.

He did not voice his feelings, but his movements portrayed a new color you were barely familiar with on him. He looked at you, like a lost puppy as his hands placed the letter back on the table.

You do not know how long you stood there, waiting to decipher something, anything from him.

You didn't have time to register as he took a step forward, hand finding the small of your back and holding you as delicately as the night before. His other hand found your cheek, he barely asked for permission with his gaze; he could see it in your eyes that you were desperate for the same thing.

Before you could say anything your lips collided. He tasted as sweet as you had remembered, and you felt your head spin at the contact. It was soft, delicate, hesitant, and everything you had ever hoped for.

And suddenly you were thirteen again, giggling in the forest as your lips clumsily collided with his for the first time.

But you weren't thirteen anymore, years had passed by, you were grown now, and as Fiyero's lips brushed yours again, the years of yearning burst back to the surface.

Your own hands found his hair, pushing you even closer to him, and turning the kiss hungrier.

You don't know how long your lips had glided over one another before you pulled away for breath, foreheads leaning against one another.

"Great Oz, I was starting to think I'd never to do that again," he mumbled with kiss-bitten lips, making you giggle.

You smiled as you watched his doe eyes, peering at you with admiration.

"Please never leave me again, Ranger."

"I missed you calling me that, I hadn't heard this nickname in years," you blushed under his gaze.

"I missed calling you that," he placed his hand gently under your chin before bringing your lips to his again, "I love you," he kissed you again, "Oz it feels great to say it," and then again his lips found yours, "I love you," another time, "i love you" and yet again, "I love you."

You giggled in his arms, "and I love you, my scarecrow," you smiled, before dipping your head to find his lips yet again.

Oz how you had missed him so.

[go-to-two]

In the Dark - CPD 9x04 Triptych

Hello! I mentioned recently that I had an old one-shot from season 9, episode 4 that I was tinkering with again. I landed here, with what are essentially three different scenes that make up the bulk of the story. They take place in the district bathroom after the panic attack scene, when Jay gets home after confronting Voight, and at home in the middle of the night. In that order. This might not ever see AO3, so we'll consider this a Tumblr special for anyone still hanging around this place. Under the cut. No warnings beyond what would apply to the Roy Walton storyline.

PART 1

"Hey..." Jay's voice is soft, pleading. He locks the door and crosses the women's bathroom towards her. The shower she never got to step into is running while she stands motionless in her jeans and sports bra. His eyes track over her frail frame, worry lining his every feature. "Hailey, talk to me. Please." Jay takes a gentle approach, hoping this will be the one that finally works. 

It almost did, minutes ago. Before Voight walked in the room with a stone-faced glare, she was about to tell him everything. She is out of strength. For weeks, it came and went in waves. One minute she had the resolve to take this to the grave, and the next she was gripping his hand until both of their knuckles turned white just to keep herself together. 

Now, Hailey can't speak. The words have been pushed so far back from ever escaping her mouth that she can't find them anymore. Even if she decided to tell him everything right here, right now- her brain goes blank. She is beyond exhausted and the steam from the shower is still filling the room. She thinks her vision might just go black and for a moment, she feels relief. It would give her an out from standing in front of him at a loss for words while he begs. 

She gets her wish. Her vision does go black, just for a split second. She feels his arms around her when she stumbles forward, and he reaches into the shower stall to turn off the water. "Alright, you're alright," he assures. Jay walks her over to sit on the long benches in front of the lockers, and he takes a seat next to her. "It's okay. It's just us here. Just me. I want to make this better for you, but you have to tell me what's going on."

"Jay-"

"-Don't." He cuts her off before she can say "nothing." He knows that tone. That dismissive tone he has let slide for weeks while he gave her the space to figure this out. "Don't you dare try to tell me there's nothing going on." He turns to straddle the bench and leans closer to her. "Not after all this. I know this started the night Kim went missing. I know it involves Voight." 

He lists off the pieces he does have. It's enough to paint a bad picture, but he's missing the details that fill in the blanks to explain why his fiancée is falling apart in front of him. 

"What am I not seeing here?" He pleads.

With her last bits of resolve, Hailey puts her hands over her eyes and shakes her head. 

"What are you so afraid of?" Jay pushes backwards on the bench, away from her, and smacks his hands down on the hard metal. The gentle approach wasn't working. Frustration, helplessness, pressure. Nothing worked. The only thing he has left is anger. "Do you think I won't be able to help? I won't understand? I'll stop loving you? Do you really think I would lock myself in the bathroom with you like this if I didn't love you with everything I have? I do, Hailey, I do." 

Jay's voice breaks on the last words, and his posture crumbles. He is supposed to be making that promise to her at an altar, but he can't see them walking down an aisle with something like this between them. "How can we get married, if you can't talk to me?" He finally whispers.

The voice in Hailey's head always warned her that she'd lose Jay somehow, but she never guessed she would be the one to tell him to go. She'll do it. She'll cut him loose before she drags him down with her. "Is that an ultimatum?" She finally asks. 

"Would it really take one for you to be honest with me?" His voice is thick, heavy with the realization that she's keeping everything from him. It's not just that she's keeping something from everyone or she's covering for Voight. She's keeping it from him, and that's when he understands how bad this really is. "I'm going to find out," he says simply.

"Jay, don't." 

He stands from the bench and shakes his head. "I'm done asking you. I'm done pretending I don't notice you getting up in the middle of the night. I'm done watching you push the food around on your plate enough to make it look like you ate something." Jay has made his decision, and they both know he'll find what he's looking for if he looks hard enough. He could have done this weeks ago, and the only regret he'll have when he gets his answers is that he didn't do this sooner. "You can be mad at me, that’s fine. At least you'll be alive. I'm going to find out." 

PART 2

It didn't take long for him to find his answer. Hailey isn't surprised at that, but she is startled when she wakes from a restless sleep to find him standing in their bedroom doorway, staring. Heartbreak is written all over his face and she knows then, everything she was trying to avoid is there on her doorstep. They say no good deed goes unpunished. She still isn't sure if her deeds have been all that good, but she's being punished at every turn so it doesn't seem to make much difference in the end. 

She doesn't move for a few seconds. She knows that he knows, but she waits for him to make the first move. In her waiting, Hailey forgets to breathe. She is like a bottle with its lid screwed tight, shaken and ready to implode at the first release. 

Quietly, Jay crosses the room. He picks up the half-empty glass of whiskey she had left on the nightstand, studies it, and sets it back down. Time stands still, until he sits on the edge of the bed and wraps her up in his arms. "Take a breath," he says evenly. "You can take a breath now." 

Her first breath is a gasp buried in his shoulder, and everything speeds up again, making impact after impact against her chest as she releases everything she has been holding in for so long. He holds onto her for several minutes- five, ten. She loses track. It's dark in their bedroom and for as long as he'll let her, Hailey cries in his arms.  

She cries until she can't anymore. She has exhausted all the emotion she can, but she doesn't dare move first once she has calmed down. He feels when her breathing evens out and the tears stop, and Jay lets go to scoot away from her. He eyes the glass on the nightstand again. "Are you drunk right now?" He asks calmly. No accusation. 

"No."

"Okay. Then let's go out there," he nods his head toward the kitchen, a more neutral space. "I don't want to do this all in here." 

They end up at the kitchen counter. Hardly neutral- it's where they signed the paperwork making this place home, where he lifted her up onto the hard granite to celebrate, where they ate, talked, laughed. There is no neutral space at home. He sits on one side and she pulls a stool around to sit on the other, and she finally tells him everything. 

Every last detail. She starts with figuring out that they were given bad leads, then making Adam leave to care for Makayla, and finding Voight and Roy Walton in that warehouse. He knew the basics already, but his eyes get darker with every detail Hailey assumes Voight left out. 

She gets through it through stutters and long pauses, and Jay sits quietly. If Hailey were a betting person, she would bet on what his first response is, because it was hers too. 

"We have to tell the team," he says.

Hailey understands his motivations. His guilt. It was the first decision she had to make in the wake of Roy Walton's death- to walk away and not radio the team- and she'll spend the rest of her life playing out every scenario in her head, wondering if she made the right one. "We can't," she answers him. 

"It's the right thing to do."

"Jay," she says slowly. "I have wanted to tell them time and time again, but this case is already too far ahead of us. They didn't ask for any of this." She wipes her eyes and rakes her fingers back through her hair. "If this gets out- and we both know it could- we'd all be implicated. We could all lose our jobs, all go to jail. We would have ruined their lives and robbed Jordan, Vinessa, and Makayla of the only family they have. I couldn't live with that. I don't think you could, either. At least this way, if it comes to it, I can sit on a stand and say they had nothing to do with it." 

He sits back and scrubs his hands over his face in frustration. Voight once told him he was wired through the heart. He jumps head first into what he thinks is right without looking at the consequences the truth can really have. 

"You wanted to know," Hailey says, "so now you have to think about the realities of it all." 

"I did want to know," Jay says coldly, but she didn't tell him. She was going to let them fall apart before she did. "So what about me? I did ask for this, and I still had to find out on my own because you wouldn't talk to me. Do I not deserve a better answer as to why?"

She looks up at the ceiling, tears and the bright kitchen lights blurring her vision. That's a much more complicated answer than simply giving him plausible deniability. "You watched me struggle for months," she admits. "I crossed lines that I said I'd never cross. I was lost. But then the one time I finally found my way again... this one time I did the right thing- this is what I got. So, if I had come home that night and told you I shot Roy Walton, would you have doubted me?"

"No."

"I did. I doubted." Hailey shrugs with tears tracking down her face again. "I see it all play out again every time I close my eyes, and I wonder if maybe I pulled the trigger too early. If that were anyone else other than Walton, would I have waited a few more seconds before firing?"

"Were his hands on Voight's gun?"

They were. She knows without a doubt they were, but it's easy to let black and white blend into grey when that is all they've known for years. 

"Were his hands on the gun?" Jay repeats, expecting an actual answer. "Close your eyes if you have to, and tell me. Did Roy Walton have his hands on Voight's gun?"

"Yes."

"Then it was a good shoot, Hailey. It's a shot every single one of us would have taken. I don't doubt that, okay? I don't doubt you."

"Would a jury?" She challenges. "If you gave this case to the right prosecutor who looked into Intelligence's history and spun the right story, I'm not so sure it'd go my way."

Hailey leans forward with her arms crossed on the kitchen counter. Jay still looks at her like he's waiting for an answer that will satisfy him, but there will never be one. "You're looking for a simple answer where there isn't any, Jay. There was never one moment that I decided not to tell you. There were a lot of individual moments, and each time I'd find a different reason, something I hadn't considered before, that told me it was better if you didn't know." 

She pauses, and she tries to come up with the words that she thinks might give him the most peace. "The way you look at me matters. So yes, I was afraid you'd never be able to look at me the same way, but more than that- I figured that if I didn't tell you... maybe you'd hate me, maybe you'd leave me, but you wouldn’t lose everything you've worked for. I could sit on a stand and say you didn't have anything to do with it, either. And now..."

Hailey trails off as an all-too-familiar weight settles in her chest. She was willing to lose him to keep him away from this, but they're here all the same. She has to worry about his fate like she worries about hers, and somehow their hope lies in Hank Voight's ability to bury a body.

PART 3

Hailey wakes up at 1:30am, barely a half an hour after going to bed. Jay isn't next to her anymore, but she figures maybe he needed some more time to wind down. She wakes up again at just past 2am, and he still isn't there. She doesn't see him, but his watch and phone are still on his nightstand, so she gives him space. She doesn't wake up again until almost 4:45am, and his side of the bed is cold and empty. 

She sits up while her eyes adjust to the low light. Hailey finally spots his silhouette far across the apartment in the living room. He sits on the hardwood floor facing the glass balcony doors, his legs drawn up to his chest and his fingers hooked around his knees. Shadows cover his face so Hailey can't see if he is angry or crying or just staring off ready to walk out into the night and leave all of this behind. 

She slides from the bed. She doesn't bother trying to be quiet since he is up anyway and she wants him to hear her footsteps to know she is coming. His chin dips in her direction as she gets closer- not fully looking at her but at least acknowledging that she is there. 

Hailey sits in front of him with her back to the window. "What are you looking at?" She asks weakly. 

Jay shrugs. "Just thinking." 

She nods, biting her lip to keep from responding. She feels like she has forfeited her right to ask what he is thinking about tonight. This is uncharted territory for them. They've always been each other's person, and now they sit across from each other in the dark wondering if any two people have ever felt this far apart before. 

Jay finally meets her eyes. "The night..." he has to clear his throat after being quiet for so long "...the night everything happened is when you said we should get married." 

"Yeah."

"Did you mean it?"

There is only so much guilt she can take, and the hollow look in his eyes might be the thing that finally breaks her completely. She pushes off the floor and walks closer to him on her knees. Gently, she unclasps his fingers and moves his hands to make room between his legs. He doesn't reach for her like he usually would, but he lets his legs fall flat on the ground when she kneels between them. 

Hailey reaches out to hold his face. There are one million ways she loses Jay in all of this, but it won't be because she let him doubt how she feels or because he feels like some hail Mary on her worst night. Not when he is the best part of her every day. His stubble is coarse under her fingers, and his jaw works when he swallows thickly. 

"I meant it," she promises. "We can wait if we need to. If you want to ask again when this is done, when things are better- my answer will be the same. I meant every word I said to you." 

He sniffles sharply and nods, but the conversation ends there. He never reaches for her. "You were finally getting some sleep. You should go back to bed," he whispers. 

Hailey tilts her head and traces her thumbs over his jaw. "Why don't you come with me?" 

Just like before, he agrees wordlessly and follows behind her into the bedroom. He lays down facing her. Open, but still not reaching out. Hailey falls asleep again to the feeling of him close by but when she opens her eyes to her alarm at 6:30am, he is already gone. 

[fandomwe1rd0]

Gah, I love how while Rick tends to have pretty low empathy, he still empathizes with people who have lost loved ones. Obviously, there's the old man in the seat. Where Rick didn't kill Tony after hearing that Tony's wife died. He even paid respects at his funeral, even giving his dad a cloning kit to make a new son. And regretting that he didn't become his friend.

My favorite example of this thought HAS to be in analyze piss. When Pissmaster's daughter came to the door, he could've left immediately, which is what he would've done if she didn't say "Dad?" You can instantly see Rick's face change as soon as he heard that. But the final straw? The one that made Rick pretend to be Pissmaster to comfort her?

When she said, "Look, if you were ever to do something, I'd never stop blaming myself."

Sound familiar?

Like a certain mad scientist, who we know blames himself for his wife and child's death?

This was what made him decide to pretend to be Pissmaster and comfort her, saying that he wasn't going to do anything.

He also pretended to BE Pissmaster, so he can fulfill Pissmaster's final wish of wanting to prove that people don't just want to see him fail. And to give him a heroic death, this was literally at NO BENEFIT to Rick, he simply did it out of the kindness of his heart. Which is something I'd never thought I'd say in relation to Rick, but it happened! He was SUCH a good, selfless person in this episode, it's literally insane. He couldn't even bring himself to tell Jerry what had happened to Pissmaster. Which is someone who, mind you, in other seasons, he tends to despise, yet he put Jerry's feelings first here. Even when Jerry apologizes to Rick at the end, before he knows Rick isn't Pissmaster, he instantly forgave him so that Jerry would have a clean conscience. This is the same person who was going to KILL JERRY at the end of season 3.

He did tell Morty about Pissmaster's death, which wasn't cool. But it was clear that he didn't do it out of malice, wanting Morty to keep this massive secret as a way to exert control over him, which DEFINETILY sounds like something season 4 Rick would do, he just couldn't keep it in anymore. And Morty actually stood up to Rick, not keeping this secret for Rick's sake. Which is also really cool of Morty! I gotta make a post on Morty's character development too one day. Maybeeee I will if I hit 350 followers...

Hell, season 4 Rick wouldn't even DO anything season 6 Rick did in this episode, besides maybeeeee comfort Pissmaster's daughter, but even then, I'm still not totally sure.

This is why I love this old man so much (Besides some other reasons) His character development is SO GOOD! I love him sm istg.

[wanderingmind867]

Ranking the Seven (plus Nico):

1. Nico di Angelo: Just…ever since I was a nine or ten year old boy reading Rick Riordan's books, Nico di Angelo was my anchor into the world of Percy Jackson. Lonely, an outcast, the one person everybody else shunned…he was always just a vessel for all my real pain and fear. He still is. All my loneliness and sadness and stress and anxiety…it can all be channeled into him.

And to think more about it, he really is just like me. He never opens up to others (same as me, he probably has a fear of judgement), he's got no real friends for most of the books (which is still true of me at 20, no friends except my dad), he's just…god, Nico di Angelo is the character in these books i've always loved most. And I wish he got all the happy things that I feel i haven't had yet.

Frank Zhang: Frank was like the second main character who always spoke to me. Not just because he was Canadian (although that certainly helped), but because he was a heavier set kid who didn't have many friends. His mother died; whereas mine was more just dying (dead now, of course). And I always did like how he was good with a bow and arrow. A ranged fighter with a preference towards support (despite how his looks make him appear), Frank Zhang had a lot of relatable aspects too.

Honestly, nobody in these books ever had a 1 for 1 backstory line up with me (it'd be incredibly bizarre if there was one, I suppose). But Frank and Nico are two of the ones who come closest to hitting me right in the heart. I definitely can see myself in them, and I love them both a lot.

Jason Grace: Jason is a character i've heard be called bland many times. But are you all reading the same books!? Jason Grace is not bland! He is the paragon of virtue, a great kid who always does what he thinks is right. And I really relate to his existential issues. He's a confused person. Is he Greek or Roman? Who is he? Where does he belong? Will he ever belong? A great many of those questions feel like they apply to me as well as to him, and that makes him all the more relatable.

Also, Jason seems to value order and fairness. I respect that. I, too, value order and consistency in my actions. Who doesn't? I'm that weird kid who liked my teachers ten times more than I liked my fellow students. I never got along with other kids. I always felt like I was somehow more mature in some ways. So that's why Jason Grace and Cyclops are like some of my favourite fictional teenagers. They remind me of myself.

Leo Valdez: I almost put Leo in front of Jason, but one thing changed my mind: I hate machinery and mechanics. Don't get me wrong: I like machines. As someone who's wasted way too much time talking to AI chatbots (and who always relates to characters like Vision or Red Tornado), I definitely like machines. But I don't like getting my hands dirty. Mechanics and hands on work was never my thing. So, you know, that was the deciding factor here.

Still, I really relate to Leo. His avoidant streak (which is super relatable), his insecurities about being the most useless member on the team (which is also relatable), even the fact that he covers his insecurites by acting overly confident and personable gets to me. Because while I don't do that one, I do understand all of Leo's insecurites. He's definitely one of my favourite characters.

Hazel Levesque: A girl from out of time. She doesn't quite fit in with this time period, and I can relate to that in some ways (i've always felt like an old soul myself). She's from New Orleans (possibly the one locale in the US that I really like, due to watching Disney's Princess and the Frog as a kid). She's even got magic powers, thus putting her in with the group of people I tend to like most in fiction: mages.

Hazel is a great character. She makes my top five because she appeals to almost all of my many interests. She was never my number one favourite, but she's definitely up there.

Piper McLean: I loved Piper's story. I don't like how native american stuff is never explored in US media (while up here in Canada, we at least get frequent documentaries and sitcoms stuff about indigenous people and culture). So just…whether it's fully accurate or not, props to Rick Riordan for even giving us Cherokee representation. I can't think of any other native characters in american media off the top of my head, so he's already succeeding because of that.

But I also really liked Piper for her struggles with being aphrodite's daughter, and with being a famous celebrity's kid. These things aren't all too relatable on the surface, but the way Rick Riordan wrote about them…god, you know it's good writing when i can grow to feel empathy and love for a character (even despite our many differences). So Piper is cool.

But I do have at least one minor complaint with her story: did her dad really have to forget she was a demigod? That part of the Lost Hero really let me down, and I still don't see the logic of having it happen. So that's why she's number six here.

Annabeth Chase: Annabeth is often relatable, but mostly just when i'm reading from her perspective. From her POV, I really do feel her. I really do love the chapters from her perspective. But when it's other characters talking about her or dealing with her…she is a lot less likeable. She can be downright rude to many characters.

I remember how she hated Tyson. She had decent reasons, but it still really got to me. I didn't like how her and percy started with a bit of an antagonistic attitude towards each other. I also never really felt too much of her issues in regards to her home life. I always kind of related to Frederick Chase, and so I never saw the issues with her home life. When we see it in The Titan's Curse, it seems downright pleasant. So I never understood her.

But let me make something kind of clear: Annabeth is way better following the Mark of Athena. In the Mark of Athena and House of Hades, i've loved her every scene. In all the previous books…it was a lot more love/hate. So I don't despise her (I would never go that far), but I just have some hangups that seem to be personal to me.

8. Percy Jackson: Oh, boy. This opinion is gonna be controversial, I already have that feeling. But i'm gonna stand firm here. Percy Jackson isn't that great. His supporting cast usually always outshines him. He's funny sometimes, sure. But think about his actions. He was just as judgmental towards Tyson as everyone else, at least initially. We read about him admitting he didn't like being related to him! And that action is just the tip of the iceberg.

He abandoned Calypso to rot on Ogygia (while Leo actually had the decency and moral fiber to rescue her). He didn't fulfill the dreams he said he believed in, either. He said he wanted the gods to claim all their kids, yet Camp Half-Blood only added maybe seven new cabins. That's not nearly good enough. That's half assing it. Look what Jason Grace did! He honoured all the gods, even if they were minor ones like Kympoleia! Anything Percy did, someone else did it ten times better!

And let's not forget Nico's treatment here! Percy also didn't seem to like Nico that much, considering he was way too easily annoyed by him (when there were far worse kids out there). Nico got screwed over by Percy, and I won't let that one go! Only one who screwed him over worse was his own sister (abandoning him for the hunters when she knew she was all he had)! But I digress. I just… Percy doesn't live up to any of the high potential set on him. Especially not when compared to the other seven.

So there are my rankings. I kind of feel like mine are probably going to end up sort of uncommon, but this is legitimately my opinions on each character. If anyone else wants to share their rankings, feel free to. At this point, i'm kind of interested to see what other people's opinions are.

[booigi-boi]

How my video chat with the Tin Can Bros went 🐐💛

I got to talk to the three of them separately with a special guest (James and Mariah) so I'll put this into three sections (writing this down mostly for my awful memory, gonna be long)

Brian and James

First thing Brian said when the call started was "have you gotten any new tattoos since the last time we saw you?" A: No :(

He and James asked about Finland and what it is like

I was asked something about what is my fav thing about Finland (minus sauna) and I said the nature. I told them to visit northern Finland both during summer and winter cause the nature is fucking amazing, ok? They googled it and James said he's putting it on his list, lol

Brian asked while googling if I've ever been to the Snow Castle in Kemi, and I laughed a little and said I was actually born there so yeah, I've been there multiple times

I was also asked if there's something I'd like the rest of the world to know about Finland

I answered how I hate how other countries have turned saunas into a luxury item, when in Finland literally every house and apartment building has a sauna. Also told them the correct way to pronounce sauna

James asked me how I learned about TCB. Said I discovered SK in mid 2018 and somehow figured TCB was also a thing. He also asked how I got into Shipwrecked, and to that I just said Spies Are Forever. Brian nodded and said "they're cool"

(Honestly, I'm leaving so much out cause we really just talked about my country and how happy it is, lol)

Corey and Mariah

Brian and James left for another call once Corey and Mariah joined (I didn't expect them to do this call like this tbh /neutral)

Mariah was excited about the fact I'm Finnish, she was enjoying meeting people all over the world

Corey asked if I had any questions for them and I had to admit I suck at asking questions and never know what to say (he was cool with my child brain)

Mariah said she had so many questions she would have liked to ask me. She really liked looking at the wall behind me and seeing all the shit I have on there

Then my cat decided she wanted attention and hopped on the table and made herself known to them. Told them she was Lotta and she's 14

After a while Corey asked me what my fav project from the Tinlightenment was, and I said I've been most excited for Gross Prophets. Corey revealed it's going to be difficult to rehears it without an audience and it's apparently super silly (in a good way)

Before they left Mariah asked me what was my fav movie or musical or anything so she could get to know what I'm all about, so I excitedly told her about Tetsuo the Iron Man (more about this later)

Then Joey joined all alone and it was time for Corey and Mariah to leave

Joey

Joey didn't have a guest with him so it was just me and him on a call together. He complimented my long ass vampire nails

He heard us talking about movies and asked me about it, so I said how Mariah asked me about my fav movie

He got a little excited and asked me about it, so I told him about Tetsuo, and how it's one of those movies that you're either going to love cause how artistic it is, or say wtf did I just watch

He got intrigued and googled it and read its description. He was interested (pls google it)

He read reviews and said how it's either 5 stars or 1 star, and I told him it is very 50/50

He put it on his list and promised to tell me once he had watched it :3 (hopefully not on discord cause I don't use it, lol)

Then before time was up, he asked me about my hospital stay last year (which I didn't talk about publicly and he was one of the few people that knew about it). It was kinda nice of him to ask about it and ask if I was good now (I am)

One last thing he asked about before he had to leave was if I was going to the new Starkid concert this year, and I said no, unfortunately. Maybe he was little saddened about it, but he told me last year wasn't that long ago and we might see each other again at some point

Then he wished me a good rest of the day and told me we'd see each other soon (next month when I again embarrass myself in Quiplash)

One last note, but I was kinda surprised how Joey didn't apologise to me for the 100th time for something he promised me back in 2023 and still hasn't done it, especially since he seems to apologise about it any time we have an interaction, lol (but I'll talk about it more when that happens, shhh)

Sorry if it was all so long, but I did leave out stuff too, sksks. Honestly, I kinda needed this, it was nice talking to people and they're all so easy to talk to 💞 James and Mariah were a nice surprise, can't wait for Gross Prophets 👉👈

[the-babbering-dabber]

Ok I have thoughts and I'm gonna put em here in a clumsy outline narrative format bc i got a headache :\ :

The minute Crocodile's allowed in the room he sand drifts over to Ace's bedside because he just can't get there fast enough. Maybe Luffy was allowed visitors and obviously awake before Ace or something so he's been able to hug and hold Luffy and fuss over him. Luffy could be sleeping now, and Crocodile had fussed over the blankets and shoulders and neck and feet because "he might get cold" and "there's not enough blankets to keep his feet warm". He'd brushed his hair back until it was greasy and someone had to physically remove him so Luffy could get some rest without being stared at constantly and adjusted every two seconds.

He was sulking in the hallway when Ace was given the all-clear for visitors. He had been tempted to defy the young doctor and slip through the vents or cracks in the door if Ace's life wasn't already hanging on by a half fray-ed thread. That's the only reason Crocodile was looming over the doors to the room Ace was in. And then they opened, and Law came out. And he left the door open and unlocked. He didn't say much, just mumbled about how "there's not much more he can do" and that "it's up to Fire Fist now" and that Crocodile should "be careful with him".

Trafalgar hadn't even finished speaking before grains of sand were ripping through the stale submarine air towards his eldest son. He understood why Trafalgar had warned him, why he'd warned caution. Ace looked dead; he really did. His usually tanned skin was ashen and cracked, marred with reddish brown, purple, and black stains, some peeking out from under thick layers of bandages.

He let this happen. He was right fucking there with Ace and Luffy and he couldn't do shit. He was fine. Barely fucking scratched. And his sons...Luffy's scarred for life and had almost died and Ace...fuck, Ace was actively dying. He had died. Trafalgar had brough him back again, and again...and once more. It should be him. He's the one who should have one foot in the grave, not his child. Never his child--any of his children.

For the first time in a long time, Crocodile wished he had both hands, if only to feel for himself Ace's pulse, breath, and faint warmth--proof he was alive and here and that there was still a chance. He was exhausted himself, having no energy to cry or scream, or even raise his voice.

He looked over Ace, facing the consequences of his failure. He failed to protect them. Dragon would be furious. Sabo would...god, what would Sabo think?

An oxygen mask distorted the lower portion of his face, doing a shit job of hiding the dark, sunken circles around Ace's eyes. He looked fucking exhausted despite having been still for so long. The spatter of freckles were still dusted across Ace's skin as they'd always been, like nothing was wrong, like everything was fine and right in the world, like everything wasn't cold and dark now, like Ace wasn't fucking dying.

It's ridiculous, really, that it wasn't the blood, bandages, bruises, oxygen mask, gray skin, or sunken cheeks that breaks Crocodile, but freckles. Ace's freckles that wouldn't ever leave his skin because they were quite literally part of his body--like his ribs and lungs and fucking spine and heart and blood and bones and skin and-

Crocodile attempted a deep breath, focusing on Ace's own mechanical breathing--the breathing that somehow did better than his own pathetic stuttered gasping attempt.

Crocodile frowned as he traced Ace's features with his vision. His son's hair was a mess of wild, dirty waves and matted, greasy streaks. Didn't look like they'd even let him shower in prison, like they'd wanted his body as it would be after death--filthy, rotten, and disgusting.

He reached out his hand slowly and gently--oh so gently--brushed a strand of hair from Ace's eye. Suddenly that's all he could do, detecting another wild frizz of hair, sooty matt, or greasy wave sticking to Ace's skin. Ace would hate that. Would hate that it was tickling his face and curled in his ear and that his baby sideburns weren't straight and that his bangs weren't equally framing his face. He'd hate that his hair part was uneven and mussed, that hair was even touching his ears, that it was curled under his jaw onto his neck and tickling his shoulders, that it was sticking up above his head and staining the pillow with a black streak. He'd hate that his colics were acting up and springing his curls straight out.

Crocodile brushed strand after strand of hair away from his face, tucking them behind his ears, smoothing the sides, and swiping a loose eyelash away.

Oh god, the blankets. They weren't even covering Ace's chest, pulled down to his hips and barely covering his feet. Crocodile unfolded the scratchy blanket and brought it up to Ace's neck, covering the already blood-soaked bandages as much for his own comfort as it was for Ace's. He reluctantly moved away from Ace's shattered chest towards the end of the bed to a cover his legs and feet fully. Crocodile lingered, running his hand over each shin and rubbing circles into the soles of his feet.

Ace's feet and ankles always hurt from the scrunched crouched perches and harsh jumps he did--ever since he was little. He used to spot little scars and cuts on his feet when he first came to Crocodile, but they'd since faded and paled. But Crocodile knew they were there. He knew because he was Ace's father. His Baba. His Baba that failed him.

Crocodile took another breath and looked around for another blanket. Ace would be so cold; he needed to be warm. He couldn't get better if he wasn't warm. Without a single blanket or sheet in sight, Crocodile drug a stool over to Ace's side, perching on the uncomfortable, small metal circle. He reached his useless hook across Ace's chest and rested the first bit of skin and muscle of his arm on Ace's bicep. If there weren't any blankets here, he'd keep Ace warm himself.

Hair had been blown on Ace's skin again, dusty grains of grime marring his skin all because Crocodile looked away. He let this happen too. With the same care as before, he reached up to brush his hair away, smooth it down with gentle pets, and thumb the dirty off his cheek.

Crocodile frowned as it didn't budge, liking the pad of his thumb and rubbing at the dirty spot once more. Nothing. Trying again, this time more firmly pressing, his frown furrowed as he made no difference. Oh. It was a bruise. Tearing through his chest hadn't been enough, they had to bruise his son's face, too? His little boy? His young, barely alive, beautiful, intelligent, strong boy who had just started living his life?

Brow pinched and creased in concern, mouth tilted and tight with sorrow, Crocodile shook his head silently. It should be him. Raking his gaze over Ace's face once more, he realized the blanket had slipped. It wasn't covering his shoulders and collarbones. And the corners weren't draping over the bed, allowing drafts to slip under the pitiful cloth. The so-called blanket wasn't even tucking in around Ace. He tucked the fabric in along Ace's side, pulling the blanket up to his neck, and straightened out creases and folded corners so it would fully cover Ace's sleeping frame--not, not sleeping, dying. Ace's dying frame.

Crocodile cupped his son's cheek again, stroking his temple, brow, and cheek with his thumb. He eased his head down on Ace's shoulder lightly, careful not to press on any of his injuries. This way he could hear his heartbeat, feel his breath, and see the little puffs of air against the plastic mask.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, head resting on his baby's shoulder and hand giving the only soothing comfort he could right now, but he wouldn't be moving for a long time, not until they reached Dragon.

---------

Law leaned against the doorway, watching a father mourn a half-dead son. He'd done all he could but...only time would tell. Time and Ace's will. He arched a singular brow as the ex-warlord fussed with the blankets again, smoothing them and tucking them around Ace's shoulders exactly as they had been.

He averted his gaze as Crocodile lowered his head on Fire Fist's shoulder and cupped his son's face. It seemed too intimate of a moment to witness, like it wasn't his place to him to see. After a few moments, when Law hadn't heard anything, he peered up once more. Neither of them had moved--Ace too drugged up and body not able to support an awake brain, Crocodile frozen. No, not frozen, sleeping.

Law snagged a pen from his pocket and switched it with the father's heavy fur coat, stepping silently over to the pair.

He peeked under the blankets and checked Ace's vitals--still stable as they could be--before draping the coat over Crocodile's shoulders. He'd leave them be, they both needed their rest. Law took once last look before closing the doors. If he was certain about one thing in this world and one thing only, it was that Crocodile loved his sons more than anything or anyone in all of creation.

-----

Lol i lied have a whole ass story ig.

IM IN LOVE WITH UR LATEST ART (the on where Crocodile holds Luffy AND especially where he's with Ace)

it's very sweet and precious. I'm wondering if Crocodile fusses over him as best he can. Like I have this picture in my head of him obsessively smoothing his his from his face or fixing his blankets for the THIRD time in like fifteen minutes

and maybe when he's a little more stable, like he crawls into. bed to cradle him, idk I feel like he would fuss over him as much as he could so he wouldn't feel helpless.

and then I'm wondering...how their reunion goes after Ace wakes up? Like did he visit Ace when he was with iva and Dragon and recovering before he woke up? did he struggle to leave him? what does Luffy know? I have so many thoughts and questions and I love the stinky child au with my whole heart and soul <3

Thank you!

I love the idea of Crocodile fussing over him...! ;w; I think once Ace is stable enough Law is taking him to Momoiro where he'll either wake up or he won't. There's not much more Law can do for him.

I don't think Crocodile could bear to visit him and just watch him for months, hoping that he'll wake up. After Luffy has decided to train with Rayleigh Crocodile probably goes into the new world. He too has to keep moving, has to keep busy, can't think about his children out there in a world that is going to get more and more dangerous to them.

But when he hears that Ace woke up, he's going to travel to him right away! (I haven't drawn this reunion yet, partially because I cannot make up my mind if Ace will have lost his devil fruit and what he's going to do now. Will he join Luffy's crew? Join the Revolutionary Army? Join Cross Guild? Get a new crew? Many options...!)

And either Luffy doesn't know that Ace woke up or Dragon tells him (I assume that depending on what his devil fruit is he can fly.)

I am happy that you like the Stinky Child AU! I do too! And there are still so many things to explore in comic or fanfic form! ;A; I'm always open for ideas for this AU~

[alongtidesoflight]

.

[swordsofsaturn]

early seasons spn homophobia is actually so crazy because they literally do not look gay. hamfisted gay jokes when the characters look straight as hell. "you look the type" they literally don't. is the thing

[khaopybara]

❝Let's go talk somewhere else.❞

FIRST KANAPHAN as KANT PATTANAWAT and KHAOTUNG THANAWAT as BISON episode 4 of THE HEART KILLERS

[rey-jake-therapist]

DISCLAIMER: the following post is only my opinion, a headcanon, it represents only me, yada yada.

I think Galadriel will be in the spotlight again, I don't think she will have "dark powers" though. I don't think she ever had anything close to that in the books so I really don't see the show take that route. I mean in the books she had a *reputation* for being a scary witch but that's mostly because people who enter her forest sometimes never go out or when they go out they seem weird to others. But Aragaron is very adamant that it's not because Galadriel does anything nasty to them, like.... She's not evil lol I wish Tolkien had clarified what happened to those who got lost in her woods but I think it's probably related to the attitude that these men had when they entered. My guess is that Elves let those who aren't agressive go, but Galadriel messes with their minds so they can't tell what they saw, or something.

Even "dark bottom of the lake" Galadriel is a pure movie invention, that I don't see TROP imitating if only for a copyright issue: they could easily be accused of plagiarism... Frodo described her as impressive and scary when he offered her the One Ring, but she didn't go full dark with a spooky voice like she does in the movie.

All that to say, in general I have to say I personally hate the idea that she gets her powers for Sauron tbh 😅 And I know that I'm one of those who speculated that it seems to be the path the show is taking (because we never see her or any other Elf practice Osanwe (telepathic connection) before Sauron stabs her with Morgoth's crown), but I nevertheless deeply dislike that Galadriel gets her powers from a man/anyone really. Regarding Osanwe, in the lore pretty much all Elves and of course Maias can practice it. It's not like... Something unique that only Galadriel and higher beings like Maias can do. Even some humans can do it, we're even told. So it's a bit strange that the show chose this one instance to show this ability. If anything I'd say it proves that "the door is shut" was wishful thinking from Gal, because theorically if the door of her mind was shut to Sauron, he shouldn't be able to telepathically communicate with her: the other person's mind must be open. No one, not even Morgoth, can force their way into someone's unwilling mind (according to Morgoth's Ring)

But then she resisted him at the end, wether by tricking him or because Nenya strengthened her or whatever, so really I don't have any certainty regarding the future of their connection. I hope they won't choose the boring route, but 🤷🏻

So I hope it'll just turn out that she'll get "witchy powers" (really putting "" here because Galadriel is not even a witch, she IS SAID" to be an Elf-Witch by Gimli in the movie which is not the same) because of Nenya, or because she always had it in her but being stabbed with a magical artifact unlocked her faculties for example, and that her connection with Sauron will reflect through an easier access to each other's minds than they had before.