#but i really like how much the game insist on his kinder and more tender side

[pletoric0]

a small moment

[waitimcomingtoo]

Violent Delights

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Synopsis: Tony finds out about your relationship with Peter and forces you to break up. You tell yourself what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, but it ends up hurting you 

Part Two 

Masterlist

Keeping things from your father wasn’t easy, but you’d managed to hide the fact you were dating Peter for exactly 78 days, four hours, and twelve minutes.

Kisses were exchanged in FRIDAY’s blind spots and you’d only hold hands out of sight or when you were alone. Your dad knew you and Peter were close friends, so he didn’t question the date nights, though he didn’t know they were dates, or the frequent trips to each other’s rooms. Being with Peter was amazing on its own, but keeping it a secret made it exhilarating. As much as you loved it, you knew your time as a secret couple wouldn’t last forever. The other Avengers were getting suspicious. There had been too many instances of you falling asleep on Peters shoulder during a movie or Peter mysteriously having lipstick on his lips for them not to notice. Despite their suspicions, no one said anything. 

You watched your father walking out of the kitchen one afternoon before leaning across the kitchen table and planting a kiss on Peters lips.

“What was that for?” He smiled in surprise at your sudden display of affection.

“Because I adore you.” You put the last bite of your sandwich in your mouth. “Are you ready to spar?”

“That gluten free bread really got you energized.” Peter laughed as you bounced up and down on your heels.

“You know it, baby.” You put your arms around his neck and started to lean in.

“Baby? I believe his name is Peter.” Your dads voice came from behind you and you jumped, quickly putting your arms behind your back. You spun around and you and Peter put on your most innocent smiles. Tony gave you both a quizzical look as he retrieved the cell phone he had left on the kitchen counter.

“It was an insult actually, since Peter is so feeble and weak.” You said quickly. You squeezed your eyes shut at the lame cover up.

“That’s my girl.” Tony smirked. “But “baby” is a little on the kinder side. I’d call him “fetus” if I were you.” Tony put his phone down and picked up and apple instead. He took a bite of the apple, kissed your forehead, and left the room. You let out a breath of relief and turned back to Peter.

“Fetus?” He asked sharply.

“I’m sorry! I had to think of something quick.” You apologized. “He almost caught us.”

“He almost caught you. I was just an innocent bystander. That would’ve been your fault.” He put his hands on your waist and pulled you towards him so your chests were touching.

“Do you really want to play the blame game with someone you’re about to spar with?”

“Good point. Sorry, sweetheart. It was our fault.” He smiled before pressing a tender kiss to your lips.

“Peter Benjamin Parker, what do you think you’re doing?” Your fathers voice booming made you break away from his kiss immediately. Your stomach dropped and Peters face turned a hot shade of red. You jumped out of his embrace to face your father.

“Dad! What are you doing back in here?” You stammered.

“I forgot my phone.” Tony said calmly, never taking his eyes off Peter, as he picked up his phone. “Does Fetus want to explain why he was just kissing my daughter?” He cocked his head and stared daggers at Peter.

“Uhh, no?” Peter squeaked under Tony’s glare. Tony let out a short, humorless laugh and you held your breath.

“No? If I wanted to laugh right now, Parker, I’d watch Cap to try and use the DVR again. Do I look like I’m in the mood to laugh?” He looked at you for an answer to his question and you shook your head.

“No. You don’t look in the mood to laugh.” You answered.

“That’s what I thought.” Tony nodded curtly and turned back to Peter. “So, humor me. Why were you kissing my daughter?”

“Because she’s my girlfriend, sir.” Peter toughened up and looked Tony in the eye. “I was kissing my girlfriend.”

“His what?” Tony looked at you with an eerie smile that made your spin tingle.

“His girlfriend.” You repeated, trying to be brave. “Peter and I are dating, dad.”

Tony looked down at his shoes as if he was examining his feet. He nodded while keeping his head down.

“How long?” He muttered.

“Dad-“ You tried.

“How,” he snapped his head to you, “long?”

“Two months.” You said quietly.

“And 18 days.” Peter added and Tony let out a little laugh.

“But that’s it.” You promised. “Just the two months.”

“You’ve been dating Peter behind my back for two months?” Tony walked over to you and asked, unable to conceal the disappointment in his voice. You racked your brain for the least disappointing answer you could give you father.

“And 18 days.” Peter cut in again. You shot him a look and he looked down in shame. Tony whipped his head around to glare at Peter.

“Sorry.” Peter mumbled.

“Oh, you’re gonna be sorry. In fact, you better start praying I even give you a chance to be sorry.” Tony left you and stood directly in front of Peter. “I do not want to hear another word out of you, kid. You better run before I lose it.”

“Mr. Stark, if you could just let me expla-“ Peter began.

“I don’t want an explanation from you, Parker. I don’t want anything but your absence. You better run home right now and start praying I let you set foot back in this building ever again. I hope you enjoyed your two months and those precious 18 days because they’re over now. You are forbidden from dating my daughter, do you understand me? Beat it. I mean it.” Tony said through gritted teeth just to Peter so you couldn’t hear. Even with no audio, you knew it had to be bad.

“Dad, please. This is as much my fault as it is Peters. Don’t take it all out on him.” You spoke up and Tony looked at you. You could see the pain in both his and Peters eyes.

“Oh, trust me honey, I’m not. You’ll get your bit later.” Tony assured you. “Right now, I need Peter to leave this building and not look back.”

“Dad-“ You tried again.

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir.” Peter cut you off while giving Tony an apologetic look. He picked up his backpack and swiftly walked out without a goodbye. You watched him leave and soon you and your father were alone. Tony just stood there, watching the door Peter left out of.

“I know you’re mad, but that was completely ridiculous and he-“ You broke the silence.

“Zip it, arachnophobia. You and I are gonna have a little talk in my lab. Now.” He demanded. You gulped and followed him to the lab where he closed the doors behind you.

“When we’re you gonna tell me that you and Spider-Boy were together?” He asked as soon as the doors closed. He didn’t look as angry anymore. More so on the disappointed side, which was 100 times worse.

“We were gonna tell you, I promise we were, but we didn’t know how.” You said, feeling your face heat up. You knew you were in deep trouble.

“And you couldn’t figure it out two months and 18 begrudging days?” Tony asked rhetorically.

“You know how you’ve been since we all took on Thanos. You’ve been more protective than usual, and I get that, but you haven’t been most open to me doing much of anything. You won’t even let me use the microwave anymore.” You tried to lighten the mood but he didn’t crack a smile at your attempt.

“That’s because I listened to my daughter turn to dust over an intercom five years ago.” Tony reminded you. You felt the guilt pool in your tummy. You were turned to dust while talking to your dad on the Avengers intercom, and he could never forget how it sounded. Ever since you returned, he was extra precautious about and around you.

“I’m sorry, dad.” You said weakly, not knowing what else to say.

“Don’t apologize.” Tony pinched his nose bridge and tried to calm down. “This is just jarring for me, okay? I was under the impression that you and Peter were friends.”

“We were.” You insisted. “Until we became more. When we came back from the snap, we realized how short life was. He kissed me that night and I let him. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes.”

Tony looked at you for a long time. It was still strange for him to be so much older when you were the same age. He took you in in the last moments before he had to break your heart. He sighed and nodded his head.

“I forbid you from dating Peter.” He said finally. You recoiled and felt your brain short circuit for a moment at your fathers words. You blinked in surprise and looked at your father in betrayed confusion.

“What?” You asked.

“I don’t approve of this relationship.” He told you with a sad shake of his head. “You’re too young and he’s too…Peter.”

“You cannot be serious.” You felt tears sting your eyes when he showed no sign of joking.

“Deadly serious, actually.” Tony quipped. “You have to break up with him or there will be consequences.”

“Like?” You folded your arms in frustration.

“Like him losing his suit and all Avengers privileges. Like you not being allowed to help with missions anymore. Like you being cut off from the Stark credit card. Need I go on?” Tony rattled off. You felt a shortness of breath at the feeling you were gonna lose this argument.

“It’s Peter Parker, dad.” You reminded him. “I thought you liked him.”

“Oh, I love Peter. But I’m not going to allow you to date a boy who will break your heart.” Tony said simply as he began to type away on a keyboard.

“He won’t break my heart!” You exclaimed, even more frustrated at him barely paying attention.

“He will. He’s a superhero, Y/n. Superhero’s are bad news.” Tony sighed, not looking up from the keyboard. “He’s gonna make promises he can’t keep and dates he won’t show up to. And when he cancels on you for the millionth time after he promised he wouldn’t because he off fighting crime, it’s gonna break your heart. Being second place to this job will break your heart.” He looked at you blankly. “Don’t believe me? Ask your mom.”

“Dad, you and I both know there is no boy in this world I could date who wouldn’t break my heart. It’s what boys do. It’s their thing.” You claimed. “And yeah, I’m not looking forward to it, but it’s a part of life. It’s how you grow. Wouldn’t you rather I get my heart broken by a boy I love that I can learn to forgive over some random jerk?”

“Honey, this world is gonna break your heart in a million different ways, ways that have nothing to do with boys, ways I can’t protect you from. But this, him, this I can protect you from. I’m sorry, but my answer is no.” He put the keyboard down and walked over to you, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. You felt the tears finally falling down your cheeks.

“But I love him.” You said weakly. Tony smiled sadly.

“So do I. But I know him. I was him. And who I I used to be is not good enough for my daughter.” He said softly.

“Then who is?” You asked bitterly, pushing his hand off your shoulder.

“What about Thor? I’m pretty sure he’s indestructible. Or Captain Marvel. I hear she’s available.” It was Tony’s turn time try and lighten the mood.

“She’s dating Valkyrie and I don’t want to be with Thor. I only ever want to be with Peter.” You said stubbornly. Your dad sighed and sat on top of a lab table.

“I thought that exact thing about dozens of different girls, girls whose names I don’t even remember, before I met your mother. Trust me, Y/n, me not allowing you to date him is what’s making him appealing to you. It’s the whole “teenage rebellion” thing. You are my teenager, and you are rebelling. If I laid back and gave you two the green light, you’d be bored with each other in a month. The sneaking around and “forbidden” romance is what’s keeping you together. If there were no obstacles in your way, you wouldn’t even look his way. I guarantee it.” He insisted but you didn’t believe it.

“You’re wrong.” You stated. “You’re wrong about all of this.”

“Actually, he’s wrong. He’s wrong for you. There is nothing I can say that will make you believe I’m right, and I know that. But honey, I am. You’re gonna thank me for this one day.” Tony said as he picked up his keyboard again.

“And what did I do until then?” You sniffled.

“Find someone else. Or even better, find no one. You don’t need boys. Boys disappoint. And I say that as a boy who has frequently disappointed.” Tony looked at you and shrugged.

“So you want me to be lonely for the rest of my life?” You snapped.

“I want you to be safe.” He put his hands on your shoulders, all playfulness in his voice gone. “And happy. Dating a superhero will make both of those things impossible. It took me nearly dying to realize that. And when I did, I destroyed my suits and started spending time with my wife and daughter. And that’s why People Magazine named me “Sexiest Man Alive.” He held up the magazine with his smiling face on it. “Look at that. Is that Captain America? Oh! Look at that. It’s me. And you see what it says right there? What my secret to a happy life is? Knowing when to walk away.” He pointed to the quote on the cover. “That’s what you need to do, honey. I know you love Peter, but you need to walk away.”

“And if I can’t?” You whispered.

“He will.” Tony said.

“He wouldn’t.” You answered.

“I’d make him.” Tony retorted. You put your face in your hands and felt your shoulders shake.

“Daddy, please!” You begged.

Tony’s eyes softened at your words. He knew only called him “daddy” when you were scared. He thought back to the last time you used that word.

“I don’t know what’s happening, dad. I think somethings wrong with me. My body feels fuzzy.” You said over the intercom. Tony touched a hand to his earpiece, knowing you couldn’t feel it but praying you could.

“Hang on, honey. It’s gonna be okay. I’m right here.” He tried to keep his voice steady as he spoke to his dying daughter.

“I’m scared, dad. Please come home.” Your voice wavered.

“I’m so sorry, honey. I’m on another planet right now. Just hang on. Don’t go anywhere.” He tried to keep you as long as possible.

“My hands…my hands are- daddy whats going on?” You asked him.

“I don’t know, baby girl. I wish I could tell you.” He said in defeat.

“I’m scared, daddy.” You sniffled as you faded away into dust.

“I’m so sorry, but this is for the best.” Tony snapped out of his daze. “He’s wrong for you. You’ll see it one day.”

“You better hope I do.” You stated before you stormed out of the lab. You stomped loudly on the way to your room and slammed the door as hard as you could so your dad would hear. You wiped the tears off your face and tried to compose yourself.

“FRIDAY, call Peter.” You said out loud.

“I’m sorry, I cannot call Peter.” FRIDAY responded.

“Why not?” You asked, slightly annoyed.

“The Baby Monitor Protocol won’t allow me to.” FRIDAY replied and you took a step back.

“The what?” You asked. “Then how am I supposed to tell him to come over?”

“Peter Parker is banned from the Avengers Compound for the weekend.” FRIDAY announced and you felt your fingers clench into a fist.

“Why?” You snapped.

“The West Side Story Protocol.”

“When did my dad have time to set up these protocols?” You wondered in frustration.

“Mr. Stark programmed them while you were talking with him in his lab.” FRIDAY informed you.

“Then I’m going to his house.” You picked you your backpack and headed to your door.

“Sorry, boss. You’re not allowed to leave the compound for the weekend. It’s called the Rapunzel Protocol.” FRIDAY said.

“Of course it is.” You huffed and set your bag down. “He’s literally locking me in a tower. What does he expect me to do all weekend if I can’t see Peter? We used to hang out every day even when we weren’t dating.“

“You have training with Bucky in five minutes to keep you occupied.” FRIDAY said as she projected a schedule on your wall.

“Then I’ll go after that.” You said.

“Then you have dinner with the team.”

“And after that?” You sensed a pattern.

“Something called “Stark Family Game Night”.”

“No way. Stark Family Game Night is co-word for the Avengers trying to lift Thor’s hammer while Thor laughs and eats banana bread. I’m not doing that again. Someone always ends up crying.” You put your foot down.

“Your father insists he wasn’t cry-“

“He was!” You snapped before flopping on your bed and letting out a groan. “This is so unfair. I finally fall in love and my dad has to ruin it. Peter and I are Avengers. He can’t keep us apart forever.”

“He can.” FRIDAY said.

“Why do you say that?” You sat up in bed and heard a small tap at your window.

“The Romeo and Juliet Protocol.”

“What does that entail?” You asked, slightly distracted by the tapping.

“That you’re kept apart on missions, never scheduled to train at the same time, never seated near each other, and I have to send an alert your father if you and Peter are alone in a room together.” FRIDAY responded.

“So that’s it? I can never be with Peter again?” You laughed bitterly, jumping slightly when another tap hit your window.

“I’m sorry, boss.” FRIDAY apologized.

“You call me boss, but I’m the one listening to you. That doesn’t seem very- God what is that tapping?” You couldn’t take the noise anymore and went over to your window to investigate. You opened your balcony doors and heard a crunch under your feet. You moved your foot and saw a small pile of pebbles on the ground. Suddenly, another small pebble flew past your head and hit your window. You looked up and saw Peter perched on the rooftop of the building across from you. He saw you on the balcony and sighed happily.

“Oh, thank God you heard the pebbles. I was about to throw a rock.” He whispered loud enough for you to hear.

“Were you throwing pebbles at my window?” You smiled shyly at the outdated romantic gesture. You never thought you’d live to see the day a boy threw rocks at your window to get your attention.

“I had to get your attention somehow.” Peter said. “Karen told me about all the protocols your dad set up. An alarm is gonna go off if I come within fifteen feet of the Avengers compound.”

“How far are you?” You asked.

“Sixteen feet.” He shrugged with a cocky smirk.

“Clever boy.” You laughed, finally smiling again after the day you’d had. “That’s why you’re my boyfriend.”

“I still am? Your father didn’t talk you out of it?” Peter asked timidly.

“Nothing could talk me out of it.” You promised, and Peter smiled fondly. “How am I supposed to get out of here though? Or are we just gonna say “parting is such sweet sorrow” and call it a night?”

“I think you’re forgetting who your boyfriend is.” Peter held up his wrist for you to see. You couldn’t even roll your eyes all the way before he shot a web and you and pulled you over to where he was. You landed in his arms and he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips upon impact.

“See? Nothing can keep us apart. Not even a silly protocol.” He assured you as he moved some hair off your forehead.

“There are actually multiple silly protocols. Four and counting.” You sighed and watched curiously as Peters face fell. His eyes darkened before he dropped his gaze to the floor.

“Oh.” He said quietly and loosened his grip on your waist.

“What’s wrong?” You asked at his sudden indifference.

“He really doesn’t want us to be together.” Peter said sadly and he looked up at you. You put your hands on his face but he looked away again.

“Who cares? It’s not his decision.” You tried to comfort Peter.

“What did he say about me?” Peter asked as he brought his hands up to your wrists and rubbed his thumb against them.

“This has nothing to do with you. He loves you. This is entirely because you’re a superhero.” You assured him. Peter cracked a smile and that and seemed to accept that you were telling the truth.

“I know him. He said something.” He insisted. You sighed, knowing you had no way around telling Peter the truth.

“He said you were bad news.” You admitted.

“Bad news, huh? I kinda like it.” Peter smirked. “Anything else?”

“He said you were wrong for me.” You added and Peter laughed.

“He says that I’m wrong for you?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You smiled at his improved mood.

“And here I was thinking he was a genius.” Peter kicked a rock off the roof and chuckled. “He’s all turned around. We’re meant to be.”

“I don’t know gotten into him.” You said as you took Peters hands. “He’s never forbidden me from doing anything before. I don’t know why this is so upsetting for him.”

“Was he angry?” Peter toyed with your fingers.

“Livid.” You replied.

“He’s really made up his mind about us, hasn’t he?” Peter asked, searching your eyes and hoping to receive a different answer than the one he knew he was going to get.

“Yeah.” You told him softly. To your surprise, Peter smiled and kissed the back of your hand.

“Then is this a bad time to tell you I’m in love with you?” He asked coyly, and your face lit up the New York City night sky.

“Not a bad time at all.” You said before throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him for all you were worth.

You told your dad you had broken up with Peter and reused to give him any details beyond that. You and Peter got used to the sneaking around over the next few weeks, trying to be even more discrete than before. He was allowed back at the tower but was never allowed to be alone with you. He had to wait to whisk you off your balcony after Tony thought he had left. All your nights were spent on the rooftop next to the tower with Peter before he had to go. The sneaking around was difficult, but it was romantic. Your 78 days became 100 and you and Peter had planned to celebrate on the rooftop. Just as you were getting yourself ready to see Peter, your dad knocked on your door.

“Hey, kid.” Tony said sheepishly as he entered your room. There had been an awkward rift between you and your dad since your fight. You chose to be icy towards him for what he had said that day, even if you were still seeing Peter. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye and continued brushing your hair.

“Hi dad.” You said flatly.

“You look nice. Hot date?” He joked and you glared at him.

“Funny.” You deadpanned.

“Sorry. Maybe that wasn’t the best joke to make.” He scuffed the floor with his shoes and walked further into your bedroom. “How you holding up?”

“I’m fine. Just lonely.” You guilted him as you touched up your lip gloss. You heard him sigh and he came to stand behind you, looking at you through your mirror.

“I know, honey. I came in here to tell you that I’m proud of you for staying away from Peter. I know you really cared about him and that this has been hard on you, but I promise it’s for the better. If I was in your situation, I never would’ve listened to my father. I’m really proud that I raised a daughter who knows better. I’m really glad you’re my protege.” He smiled at your reflections in the mirror. You were surprised with his kind words after you’d been so cold towards him. You gave him a soft smile through the mirror.

“Thanks, dad.” You said softly.

“It may seem like it, but breaking up with Spiderling is not the end of the world. I’ve seen the end of the world, and it has nothing to do with teenage boys.” He joked, making the ice between the two of you return. He was under the impression that he had broken you up with the love of your life, yet he chose to make jokes. You shifted away from him, less than amused at his words. He noticed your indifference right away.

“Look, honey, I hate that I had to do this to you. Trust me, it hurts me too.” He said sincerely. “I love Peter and in any other world, I would’ve been proud for him to be dating my daughter. You might think breaking you guys up was cruel, but sometimes, you have to be. I know you’re hurting right now, but you staying away from Peter proved to me that you’re stronger and more capable than I thought. So, I got you a little something as an “I’m sorry I made you break up with your teenage boyfriend” gift. When you’re done sulking, check your dresser. You might find something you like.” He offered before he kissed your head and left your room. You stood in silence for a moment, contemplating your next move. Whatever he had gotten you, you didn’t deserve it. You hadn’t actually broken up with Peter.

You walked over to your dresser and found a large black jewelry box. You opened it up skeptically and found a ring inside with a pendant that looked that the arc reactor. You slid it onto your finger and a bright blue light shine from it. You picked up the card that was inside the box and recognized your fathers handwriting.

“For my hero. Press the center. -TS”

You pressed the center of the ring and your entire body was encapsulated in an iron suit. You looked in the mirror in disbelief. You finally had your own suit, something you’d been begging your father for for years. It resembled his, but was a deep violet, the same color as your bedroom walls, with honey colored accents.

His nickname for you.

You teared up at his sweet gesture before your face fell flat.

You didn’t deserve it.

He gave you the suit because you stayed away from Peter, but you hadn’t. You’d let your father down. A tap at your windowpane broke you out of your sadness. You looked out your window and saw Peter on the rooftop across the street, giving you a friendly wave. The butterflies you normally got in your tummy upon seeing Peter were replaced by a sick feeling in your gut. You gulped, knowing what was coming next. You flew over to where he was using your new suit, your heartbreaking at the joyful look on his face when he saw it.

“No way! Your dad finally gave you a suit?” Peter asked excitedly. “What made him change his mind?”

“He gave it to me for breaking up with you.” You said gravely and Peters smile faded. He wasn’t an expert on reading girls but he knew something was coming. He saw the dark clouds in your sky.

“Oh.” He said softly, gingerly touching your wrist in an attempt to make you rethink what you were about to say.

“Peter-“ You began.

“Please. Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t do it.” Peter begged as his eyes filled with tears. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“What if it hurts me?” You asked weakly. “He was so proud of me for staying away from you. You should’ve seen his face. If he finds out that we’re still together, it’s gonna break his heart.”

“He won’t find out. We’ll find a way around it. We can-“ Peter scrambled to come up with a plan.

“Peter.” You cut him off and his lip began to tremble. “You know my dad. Sooner or later, he’s gonna find out about us. He could take away your suit or ban you from the tower forever. Aren’t we better off staying friends when it guarantees you can stay on the team and talk to me? Is it really worth it to take our chances on him finding out when we’re risking you being removed from my life permanently?” You asked, praying he would understand and see things your way. The look on Peters devastated face told this wasn’t gonna be as easy as that. He wasn’t going down without a fight.

“This is worth it to me. This is worth everything to me.” Peter shouted as if you weren’t listening to him.

“You say that now, but if he catches us, I’ll never see you again.” You warned him as hot tears rolled down your cheeks.

“I’m willing to take that chance to be with you. You’re the love of my life.” Peter cried.

“And you’re mine.” You promised. “But we need to be adults about this. I can’t risk losing you forever. I have to love you enough to let you go.”

“You don’t have to let me go.” Peter said desperately.

“I do, Peter. I’m so sorry, but I do.” You whispered in a horse voice.

“Please.” He begged. “Don’t be cruel to me.”

“Sometimes”, you sniffled thought of your dad, “you have to be.”

“Not to me.” Peter shook his head. “Please, I love you.”

“I love you too.” You said quickly.

“Then why are you breaking me?” Peter cried.

“My fathers says-“ You tried.

“Forget what your father says!” Peter shouted and you quieted down.

“Peter, l wish I could but I can’t disrespect him like this.” You said gently. “I love you, but I love him too. He gave me this suit because breaking up with you made him finally believe I can be on the team. He trusted me to do the right thing and I let him down.”

“You’re choosing the suit over me.” Peter said bitterly.

“I’m choosing to be obedient.” You defended yourself.

“Obedience has never gotten anybody anywhere!” Peter yelled in distress. “Romeo and Juliet weren’t obedient!”

“And they ended up dead.” You yelled back. Your eyes softened when you watched him wipe away a tear. “These violent delights have violent ends, Peter.” You said softly.

“Come on, now. You know I didn’t read the book. You know I Sparknoted it. You know I don’t know what that means.” Peter said darkly.

“It means someones gonna get hurt. We can’t just do whatever we want and not expect consequences.” You told him. “My father has been through a lot. He nearly sacrificed himself to save the world, Peter. I can do this one thing for him, even if it kills me.”

“So this is it for us?” He asked in a small voice.

“It has to be.” Your voice wavered. He nodded and rubbed his eyes for a long time.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said without meeting your eyes.

“Are we still friends?” You asked timidly and Peter let out a painful laugh.

“I don’t know if I can be your friend.” He answered honestly.

“I’m sorry, Peter.” You reached for him but he pulled away. You didn’t try again. You knew not to.

“Yeah.” He nodded and put on his mask. “I’m sorry too.”

Tag List 🏷

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[vaguely-concerned]

I played Death of the Outsider finally and I have some Feelings about it

and most of them not very positive. nice stuff first tho!

THINGS I LIKED:

- billie is such a good character. still new to her old self and slightly tender from coming out of the protective shell of lies that was meagan foster, full of old scars and doubts and bitterness but trying for something better, something kinder even though she still doesn’t quite understand what she’s walking towards -- the genuine care and tenderness in her voice when she talks to daud or thinks about deidre. I love her.

all that and she effortlessly IS also the queer disabled woc the gamer bros refuse to believe could possibly exist. exquisite. 

- the idea of ‘killing’ the outsider is compelling, but it’s the sort of idea that needs a full length game to support it and its implications. cool idea, completely wrong execution.

- saying that: I love that the injustice of the outsider’s creation being righted is only made possible by a long unbroken line of mercy and kindness. daud saved billie from the streets, corvo spared daud, daud saved emily and spared billie after her betrayal, billie tried to save aramis stilton and became entangled in the void, emily spared billie, billie took this job in the first place partly because she loves her dad daud and wants him to find peace. that idea is so beautiful that I wish the rest of the narrative was strong enough to hold it up lol.

there’s also something going on here with other people holding on to the important pieces of you -- that billie is ‘all that is left’ of daud after he’s dead. once he saved a child from true loneliness and gave her a purpose, made her feel seen again, gave her the closest thing she had to a home, and when he’s completely lost himself in the void... that kindness is still alive in billie, and she helps him find his way. again that is really touching and thoughtful and plays wonderfully into the chaos system in these games thematically! too bad about all the stilted dialogue and characterization messes and uh. everything else. 

- most of all I love how clear it is that billie and daud love each other. it’s a quiet love that has nothing to prove anymore, it’s survived all the blood and the ugliness and everything they’ve done to each other and to the world, a love with no demands left. it’s not the sort of love you usually see, in all its unsentimentality, but it’s real. when daud tells her he’s proud of her and trusts her no matter what she chooses to do, you feel how much he means it. (making his insistence on trying to make her choice for her all the weirder -- see my long rant of lamentation about his characterization in doto below lol)

there’s something about daud’s undramatic yet complete acceptance of and respect for billie that... I didn’t know I needed this, but it was a nice gift nonetheless haha, thank you. (it’s similar to how good it feels in D2 when you realize corvo just likes emily a lot as a person, even aside from her being his daughter. a good series for father & daughter stories)

- this carries over from D2, but I think the journal/log entries are better written and more insightful than the stuff out in the world.  

- it cannot be overstated how much the gameplay loop of these games is just... pure crack cocaine for my brain haha, very few things give me this specific kind of brain tingle. I love the sound of looting and I love the art style and ambiance and I love planning out a strategy after finding all the options and I love never being spotted or killing anyone and I love the puzzle elements they put into exploration sections and I love the feeling of how you move through the environment. it’s one of the few games where I routinely get so into it I end up with a crick in the neck because I’ve been so focused for so long and never noticed I’ve been sitting in a way that makes my entire spine hate me. I needed something to get me through the last few days and it did deliver that, at least. karnaca is pretty enough that I didn’t even mind that most of the levels were recycled from D2 either. 

- I’m not quite sure whether I understood this right but there’s a woman standing behind daud in the void -- I wonder if that is actually his mother and he’s been so close this whole time? at first I thought maybe it was jessamine but god no I hope she’s finally at peace after All That Nonsense, she shouldn’t have to hang around there anymore. there’s also a figure near him I could swear was corvo with his mask on, but he’s not dead canonically so that would make very little sense. oh well I’ll take my feels where I can get them even if I have to make them up wholesale  

- the bankheist was cool as fuuuuuck, that and the emotional impact of daud dying was sadly the height of this game for me, after that it all went mediocre real quick     

- paul nakauchi as shan yun was, as I have said before, a blast. ‘ugh I cannot continue my throat is as raw as a plucked pheasant’ fsdkfhlsadjkhfas

- daud’s funeral is genuinely touching. she gave him the entirety of her old life for a sendoff, battered and worn and dear as they both were. someone hold me 

THINGS I  H A T E D:

- the stuff they did with daud’s characterization. I am so unreasonably angry over this haha, the more I think about it the more I hate it. I think there are paths you could go with his ACTUAL character to make this work, but this was not it. I’ve said this before, but his most iconic, most defining scene is him surrendering himself to corvo’s judgement without justifying himself or deflecting the blame for any of what he’s done. this isn’t even regression in his character, it’s just.. a different character altogether. they could have gone for the angle that delilah almost managed to end the world b/c daud showed mercy and that’s the reason he’s moved to action, I think that might be a more compelling motivation for him at least. OR have him be more conflicted about how to do things -- violence is still the only tool he knows how to use but it’s not what he wants to or even can be anymore and the conflict troubles him, ‘His hands do violence, but there is a different dream in his heart’. or even use a different character for the ‘kill kill kill’ angle, he didn’t need to be here for this dlc at all.   

also, just on a purely practical level... for all his flaws and longstanding moral shortsightedness daud is not a stupid man. why the FCK would he be so sure that killing the outsider will fix anything? if I, dumbass extraordinaire, could within half a minute wonder if maybe something even worse would take the outsider’s place if you removed him... why does that never occur to the Knife of Dunwall tm, a man about Void for like half a century or whatever?? ugh fuck this, I’m having a hard time explaining exactly why it all feels weird and wrong to me, but know that it does and that I Do Not Like It lol. I feel cheated out of something important I thought I had.  

- again, this should have been a full game. (I think it is sold as one already, but it just hm isn’t) there’s way too much shit of literal cosmic importance for the game’s universe being picked up here for something this short to cover. save this HUGE idea for a rainy day should you ever want to do another game in the series and do something else with the dlc, honestly. 

- god but the outsider is insufferable in this. I don’t know what happened, but by the end I was like ‘*thoughtfully strokes chin* maybe daud has a point billie keep that knife handy’. he’s annoying and boring, which is wild to me because he was always a lot of fun in the other games.

for real tho I don’t know if this is just my atheist-but-still-angry-at-god-somehow??? talking, but daud HAS a point. people are responsible for their own actions, but the outsider didn’t have to do any of what he did either. he could have chosen to be bored through the centuries instead of seeing what people would do if you gave them such ~*morally neutral*~ abilities as y’know summoning a bunch of rats to eat other people. the game wants me to buy the ‘but really this black eyed boy is woobie tho uwu’ so badly and no I’m not buying that give me my refund I want my chaotic neutral bastard back pls. I’d probably be more inclined to want to help him like that. where’s his salt gone, arkane. if you didn’t want him to be edgy why did you make him look like that.  

- this is the lamest possible version of the outsider’s backstory lol, it feels like the pearl clutching panic about satanic cults back in the day all over. listen if it’s this easy to make a god the thrill is sort of taken out of it, if these randos did it anyone could. also how the fuck are they just normal-ish people anyway? why do they follow modern fashions? haven’t they been hanging around for thousands of years, haven’t their culture changed in any meaningful way? (I realize these aren’t the same guys as back in the day but it’s just weird) why do they speak a language billie and the player can understand? why did anyone think ‘idk some cultists no one’s ever heard of before with no thematic significance whatsoever’ was the way to go world building wise? they’ve taken all the unknowable eldritchness out of the eldritch horror and we’re all poorer for it now haha 

relatedly the last level is... just not very good. you come down from the awesome bank heist and then there’s... whatever the fuck this was.

- while I do like billie finding daud in the void and him remembering her I hate that he goes out still full of self loathing and rage when you talk him into the nonlethal option, that he can’t forgive himself or find any sliver of hope or peace. I wish there had been a few more moments for the two of them to come to peace with themselves before he gave the outsider back his name, some real catharsis. as it is I was annoyed when the outsider ‘woke up’ or whatever b/c it felt like he was stealing attention from what I was actually emotionally invested in and not done with.    

they had  n o t  built up billie’s or my sympathy for the outsider well enough either. again this is something I think they could have done if they’d structured things differently, if they’d been more deliberate in making you understand he was basically a child and letting you dwell on it. because there is a parallell there between him and billie, and billie and daud, but I, how do I put this, did not give a fuck  

in short this was really similar to my experience with D2 in that there’s enough good there that it’s all the more painful when it fails to deliver on it again and again, and it ruined things I already liked about this story from the first game (daud’s arc and everything to do with the outsider, mostly). give me some months of denial and hard core headcanon work and I’ll probably be able to live with it

[princecharmingtobe]

Man it’s 7am and I haven’t slept and I’m trying to stay awake another hour so I can see about getting to the digestive care center today because I’m dying or something~ So instead of sleeping I made a playlist for my D&D character and their boyfriend and now I’m gonna like, go through why each song is there/what it means to me. Woo!

1. Beauty and the Beast - Well, Cordy, my character, is an emaciated-looking drow with mushrooms growing out of their body and is actually slowly becoming one with a sentient fungus infecting them, so... kind of beastly. And they certainly consider themself to be a monster even though they always deny it. And Paetyr, their human boyfriend, is very beautiful and kind. There are also actual lyrics in the song that suit them well. Really the whole song describes the start of their relationship very well. They knew each other for less than a week before getting together because they’re idiots.

2. About You Now - Cordy started their life as The Guardian with little to no emotion, and believed they were not supposed to have emotions. It’s apparently part of like, a curse or something placed on the Guardian power. So when they start feeling things for Paetyr they fiercely rejected it. But in the end they learned that they can and should have emotions and they decided they wanted to keep loving him (though they’ve never said the word) and see where it takes them.

3. Teach Me How To Be Loved - This one is good for both of them, because while Cordy has no experience with any kind of relationship at all because their memory only goes back a few months, Paetyr’s had a really hard life that left him mostly isolated and with shit self-esteem and probably some trust issues. So they’re both learning how to love and be loved. Also apparently Paetyr’s convinced that his partners will find someone better and realize he wasn’t worth their time so he’s learning to get over that idea. Hopefully.

4. Love Like You - More on Cordy learning how to have emotions and how to love, while dealing with feeling like deep down they’re just a monster, especially when compared to Paetyr, who seems so good and kind (though I don’t thinks that way about himself).

5. Your Guardian Angel - Well, what can I say? A Guardian’s gotta guard, be it the whole world or just the idiot boy they’re in love with. Before they loved him they still wanted to protect him. And he hates it. He hates when they talk about protecting him. But they insist on it, because it’s what they are. Part of it, I think, is they have different ideas of what protecting someone means...

6. I Found - Getting into the more somber sounding songs. Cordy’s honestly still not convinced they were ever meant to feel things, especially not love. And on top of everything, they learned about their own lifespan in relation to Paetyr’s. They didn’t know anything about elves, or humans, or anything really at the start of the game. So when they met Paetyr and the party they assumed they were all around the same age, and would live about the same amount of time. So yeah, learning that Paetyr would likely die centuries before them was devastating. But they’re trying to make the most of their time with him and learning as much from it as they can.

7. Spectrum - Yeah, as mentioned before, Cordy didn’t really have much in the way of emotions before meeting Paetyr. That’s pretty much all this one is here for.

8. I’ll Stand By You - Even when they’re not on the best of terms, when they see each other suffering from things not related to their relationship they tend to be very tender and supportive of each other. I can’t speak too much for Paetyr because he’s not my character, but Cordy is really good at putting their feelings aside to comfort Paetyr when he’s upset. Of course if he knew that’s what they were doing he wouldn’t have it lol

9. Die Young - Eyyyy we’re back on that lifespan angst! Being an elf in love with a human is hard, man!

10. Like I’m Gonna Lose You - And some more~

11. As Long As He Needs Me - Cordy has a really hard time seeing their own value vs Paetyr. He’s so much better, kinder, smarter, more important... And they’re too scared to tell him when he’s done something to hurt or upset them because they don’t want to hurt him, or else find out he doesn’t really care... if you’ve seen how he acts with them you’ll know their fears are pretty unfounded, but they fear anyway and so they keep hiding their feelings and acting ok and loyal to him.

12. No Light, No Light - Yeah the idiotic tendencies of the previous song are not without consequence. It hurts more and more but they become more and more desperate to keep him and think that in doing so means keeping their problems and desires to themself and it’s slowly killing them. Idiot.

13. Heavy In Your Arms - And it continues. This one does recognize though that Cordy’s behavior, keeping things to themself but enough leaking for Paetyr to notice... it’s hurting him too because he can tell something’s wrong, that they’re hurting and that it’s somehow because of them but they won’t talk to him about it, they won’t even acknowledge it to him. But there’s at least a somewhat happy note around the end. “I was a heavy heart to carry but he never let me down, when he held me in his arms, my feet never touched the ground” which I see as symbolizing him starting to get through to them and them realizing he’s been loving and caring for them this whole time and they’ve just been refusing to see it because of how scared they are.

14. Just Give Me A Reason - Very accurate to recent events. Cordy convinced themself that Paetyr didn’t really want to be with them and was only staying with them because he always puts others first. It doesn’t help that he has another partner whom he gets along with much easier, and who he is engaged to. So they figure “well, obviously he’d rather be with him than us” (they refer to themself in the plural because of reasons). Meanwhile Paetyr is practically begging them to talk to him about their feelings and they can’t see it.

15. I’m Not Calling You A Liar - Well, he did finally get through to them, at least a little bit, but they still have trouble believing everything he says to them. It’s partially his own fault, because he’s kept important things from them in the past to keep them from worrying, which of course only made them worry more because they could tell he was keeping something from them. So yeah, this is a two-way problem. But even though they feel like he’s always keeping something from them, they love him too much to do anything about it other than continue to fret and slowly kill themself -.-

16. Water Under The Bridge - Thought of this song when they had their recent blow up/screaming match in which Paetyr threatened to leave not just them but everyone and everything that makes him happy. Leaving them they could accept, they were practically waiting for it. But they couldn’t allow him to leave everything that made him happy. And in the end he didn’t leave them either, and they both want to keep trying because despite it all they both still love each other.

17. The Scientist - Well, he is an artificer... Thought this seemed like a good song for them coming down from the high emotions of the screaming match on the cliff and trying, once again, to make things work.

18. You Are The Moon - Funny thing about this song. I first thought of it when they first got together as being from Cordy to Paetyr, because he thought (and it seems still thinks) very poorly of himself. He doesn’t understand that he’s a very attractive man, fun, kind, and smart (and yet so dumb). Yeah his self-esteem is in the shitter for sure. But oddly, I think it has been improving. But then Cordy’s has been plummeting. Not because of him, just getting caught up in their own dumb thoughts. But Paetyr thinks they’re beautiful (and hot, his words) and loves them, so it has reversed, being more from Paetyr to Cordy.

And there it is, their playlist, explained in a totally incomprehensible way.

[shannaraisles]

Set In Darkness

Chapter: 64 Author name: ShannaraIsles Rating: M Warnings: Canon-typical violence Summary: She’s a Modern Girl in Thedas, but it isn’t what she wanted. There’s a scary dose of reality as soon as she arrives. It isn’t her story. People get hurt here; people die here, and there’s no option to reload if you make a bad decision. So what’s stopping her from plunging head first into the Void at the drop of a hat?

What Lies Beneath

"You must eat, Mistress Rory. Think of your child."

Rory snarled. With one jerky motion, she flicked the bowl out of Maddox's hands, watching as the contents sprayed across the iron bars that separated her from him.

"I am not eating anything in this place," she growled, furious, hungry, and increasingly desperate. "Everything is tainted! I would rather my baby starve and die in the womb than infect them with red lyrium!"

"You will die, too," Maddox pointed out calmly, beef gravy dripping off his chin.

"Good!" she snapped back, aware it wasn't the best comeback. But clever words meant nothing to Maddox. The meaning was the same, even if the delivery wasn't eloquent. "Stop trying to poison me, then."

"I have been working closely with the red lyrium for several years," he offered in that infuriatingly placid manner of his. "I show no signs of the infection you claim."

"You're Tranquil," she pointed out. "I don't know how or why, but lyrium - any lyrium - doesn't affect you the way it does me. For the last time, piss off and let me starve in peace!"

"There is no logic to your defiance, mistress," the Tranquil mage reminded her. "Surely, it is more logical to live than to die."

Rory snorted derisively. "Oh, really? You think I want to be like those monsters on guard out there?" she demanded, gesturing toward the steps down into this holding place. "No mind of their own, only pain and the horrible lyrium song in their heads?"

"It is life, nonetheless."

"But not living," she snarled. "Run along and play nice for your darkspawn friend and his pet templar, there's a good boy."

She turned her back on him, arms hugged tight around herself, ashamed of how aggressive she was being with him. For a long moment, she was aware of those calm eyes watching her; then she heard his footsteps trailing away. This was a nightmare.

She was in the Shrine of Dumat, held below in the area you were only allowed to explore if you sided with the templars in the game. She'd never noticed cells down here the one time she'd managed to play it through that way, but evidently they existed - wide rooms that were barred along one wall, offering her a lovely view of the terrors and red templars that patrolled the area in malevolent silence. Above, others patrolled that way, too, the bustling quiet of a place made to be the center of operations for a war few out there were prepared to admit was being waged. She'd heard Samson's voice often since she'd been locked in here a day and half ago, shouting his orders across the wide space above. She'd even heard Corypheus once, the sound of that voice transmitted via a crystal sending a chill to her bones. She was hungry, weary, and terrified - not a good combination to keep her temper from flaring.

The corners of her wide cell were choked with red lyrium, great glowing shards of crystal that thrust from the stone, making a wide space far narrower than she was entirely happy with. To keep a reasonable distance from the infected mineral, she was obliged to spend her time pressed against the iron bars of the cell, directly until the eyes of terrors and templars, vulnerable to the claws that might choose to swipe at her at any moment. But what choice did she have? To deepen her risk of infection from the red lyrium by staying closer to it than she had to, or to invite a malicious attack from the terrors that patrolled by? Bleeding out was, at least, a kinder death than being taken over by the Blighted crystal.

Rory rested her forehead on the cool metal of the bars, letting out a low sigh. Her stomach was gnawing, but she didn't dare eat. Her throat was dry, but she didn't dare drink. She'd been in here for just over a day, and the insistent song of the lyrium was wearing on her nerves. It wanted her to give in; to go over to it, to let it weasel its way into her blood so it could make a home in her body and take her over. She would not let that happen. Cullen was out there, she knew it; Cullen and Kaaras, and everyone else who had decided to come along. She just had to be strong a little while longer; just had to resist that siren song a little ...

Cullen. Holy fuck, he's going to walk right into this. Horror trickled down her spine in icy waves. He'd been doing so well with his withdrawal these last few months. The nightmares were always a problem, especially when he was under stress, but there had been fewer instances of those terrible debilitating headaches, less need of a deep massage to convince his body to relax so he could sleep. But here, surrounded by this evil crystal ... it didn't bear thinking about. He was already going to be wound tightly. Would he be able to think, to breathe, all the while surrounded by this aching, persistent song that was abhorrently unnatural?

A sudden bustle from the open hall above caught her attention. She tilted her head up, trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening. She could hear shouting - not orders, not obedience, but panic, running the length of the Shrine. It didn't take much to guess what had caused it. The Inquisition had been sighted. There wasn't much made of it in the game, but if she had to make a guess, she'd say that there were at least two platoons of soldiers and scouts converging on Samson's headquarters. At least a hundred men and women, elves, humans, dwarves, closing in on this place that had been deemed impossible to find, and at their head, the Inquisitor and the Commander. More than enough to cause the chaos she could hear above her.

Another voice snapped something, closer to her, and the templars patrolling the cells hurried to obey, abandoning their post to the tender mercies of the terrors in their midst in answer to the summons that came to them. Rory flinched back from the bars as cold, demonic eyes came to rest on her. She was the only living being left within their range; too much temptation, even when weighed against the spells used to bind them. Spindly limbs swiped toward her, easily reaching through the bars, and despite herself, she lurched back out of range, yelping when she felt her sleeve tear on the sharp jut of the red lyrium. Just her sleeve, thank gods, but that was too close. The snarling ugliness of hungry faces pressed against the bars in front of her as she backed carefully away, wincing at the intrusive crescendo of lyrium song all around her. She closed her eyes, raising her hands to cover her ears ...

Nothing broke through the bars. Nothing strained to reach her. She risked opening one eye, only to find both terrors lying in a broken heap, the iron bars a little curved but unbroken.

"This is a sad place, filled with old pain. People spoke here, and something listened, until it didn't."

Cole. "Cole?"

Rory concentrated, forcing her mind away from the singing crystal, narrowing her eyes as she tried to focus on where she thought the familiar voice had come from. The barred door swung open, and there he was, visible to her eyes, choosing to let her see him. The brim of his big hat rose to reveal the pale, red-rimmed eyes she had come to know very well indeed.

"The demons see, but the templars don't," he told her in his cryptic way, leaving her to fill in the blanks. "It's harder to hide now." He offered her his hand. "Come away from the song. It's made from people."

She didn't need telling twice, lurching hurriedly away from the glowing clusters that pressed in around her to take the clammy hand that he reached out to her. "What happens now?" she asked, tense and frightened.

She could still hear the rushing of feet up above, the sound of voices ordering movement. Samson was running, just as he did in the game, and those men up there ... they would stay to ensure that he was not caught. Was she glad not to have met Cullen's mirror image in this world? She wasn't sure.

"Aching and hating, lies upon lies to make the pain mean something," Cole murmured as he pulled her from the cell, hurrying to the chamber that stood between the two stairwells that lead upward. He pulled her inside, peering out to listen for the sound of anyone approaching. "He thinks he is right, knows Corypheus is wrong. But he still does what he is told."

Rory's hand closed gently over the spirit boy's upper arm. "Samson is not innocent, but he's not wholly guilty, either," she told him quietly. "The Chantry and the Order drove him to this."

"They took away the song, gave back the pain," Cole agreed, but confusion furrowed his brow as he looked at her. "Cullen doesn't lie to make the pain go away. He is quiet, behind the noise. The little bottle makes him shake, but he tests the chains. He is angry, afraid. He wants to be here, but he does not know how to hide. Find her, make her safe, tell her I am coming for her."

Just hearing him say those words, knowing they came from Cullen, was enough to lend a little strength behind her terror. Her hand tightened on Cole's fingers as she nodded. "Two out of three isn't bad," she said softly.

The boy's expression flickered in confusion, unable to read her as he did everyone else, frustrated by the quietness that clung to her, concealing what she knew. "I do not like your silence now," he told her. "There is darkness behind it. What can't I see?"

Fire. But she couldn't tell him, not now. Cole was not capable of keeping his mouth shut; if even a hint of her knowing what Maddox was about to do to this place came out ... No. You can't risk it, Rory. He'll find out soon enough.

"The red general goes, but others stay," Cole went on, turning his gaze from hers when she refused to tell him what she was hiding. "The other silent one, the red templars, the demons and terrors ... Go. We will fight them, keep them here. They will not follow. We will ..." He trailed off, shock reverberating through his slender form. "We should not stay here."

"Where can we go?" she asked, knowing he must have caught some hint of what was planned.

"Come to the inner sanctum, Mistress Rory," a placid voice said, just outside the door to this chamber. "I would not burn you alive by choice. Nor your friend."

Cole's shock was palpable. Maddox should not have been able to perceive him, but then ... Maddox was no longer connected to the Fade. The spirit tricks that kept others from noticing Cole's presence would not work on the Tranquil mage. Rory squeezed his hand gently. As alarming as the Tranquil was, she believed him when he said he didn't want to harm her.

"It's all right," she promised the boy at her side, hoping she was right about that. "Come on."

She stepped out of their hiding place, Cole's hand wrapped in hers. Maddox was standing in the stairwell, his arms loaded with explosive potions. He offered her his well-meaning smile.

"Come to me, if you please, mistress," he suggested. "There is work I must do before the Knight-Captain arrives."

Rory's gaze sharpened as she looked at the Tranquil. She knew what he meant by work - the firing of the shrine, for one; and his own poisoning. Question was, had he already taken care of that second one? Could she change his fate here? His eyes were just a little glazed, his face covered with a sheen of sweat, but that could be anxiety over what was coming. Then she noticed the tiniest trace of something dark at the corner of his mouth, and her heart sank. He'd already taken the Blightcap essence. Maddox was already dying.

She felt Cole tense beside her, shaking her head at him. "There's no point," she told the boy. "He's a dead man walking, Cole."

"Already dead inside, no light to touch, no dreams to walk, no passion for what once was loved," was Cole's somewhat predictable answer.

"No, I mean he's actually dying," Rory clarified for him. "He's taken poison."

Cole blinked, looking at Maddox thoughtfully. "Oh."

Maddox's placid, unnerving smile never wavered. "Indeed, Mistress Rory, you are observant," he said in his calm way, moving to lob those explosive potions into the cells. Flames erupted where they fell in destructive arcs, reaching out to burn anything within reach. As the heat intensified, Rory staggered - too tired, too hungry, too everything, to handle the imminent suggestion of death by burning on top of everything else. Without thinking, Cole wrapped his thin arm about her back, his hand pressed to the side of her belly ... and the world around her faded.

Soft sheets around a still body. Dry mouth, parched lips, something unyielding inside her throat, breathing for her. Forgotten echoes of pain in muscles unmoving. The steady blip of an electronic heartbeat in her ears; acrid smell of artificial disinfectant itching at her nose. A warm hand wrapped inside her cold fingers; a familiar voice speaking as though from some distance untouchable.

"... longest sleep you've ever had. You couldn't even get four hours before, now you've been asleep for five months? All-time personal best."

Ria. She wants to smile. She hasn't heard that voice for far too long. She sounds ... good. Healthy. Alive. Cold fingers want to twitch, to move, to squeeze that warm hand and promise to always be here.

"I wish you were here. Well, properly here. I know you're here, here, but you're not here, you know? Rambling again. Jay's taking me to look at rings later today. What do you think, am I a single solitaire kind of girl, or a crazy chakra-loving demon from the lowest depths of Pandemonium? I'm leaning toward chakra-loving demon, myself."

That sounds right. Five months is a long time to be without the only sister she's known. But life has moved on. Jay proposed. She's looking for rings. Forcing willpower down her arms, into her fingers, and finally they move. The merest twitch, the barest motion, just enough to say ... I'm here.

"Oh my fucking god, did you ...? You did, you - Hello! Hello, someone? She moved, she squeezed my hand! Do it again, Ror, I know you can."

More force, more will, and another finger twitches, encouraged by the delighted crow of laughter from her side. She can't smile. She can't move more than a single finger. She shouldn't be here.

"Rory?"

"Come on, little red, don't play dead."

"She went away, into the darkness and silence. Now she is coming back."

"Just move your fingers again. C'mon, Ror, I know you can hear me. Come home."

"Sweeting, come back to me. Please. Come home."

Home. One voice fades as others press in around her. The stillness leaves her form; the artificial scents replaced with others, more real, more present. Smoke and ash and soot; oakmoss and elfroot; oiled metal, musky leather, sweat she knows as intimately as her own. This is home, too.

Rory coughed as she came back to herself, her dry throat rebelling against the coiling smoke that swirled through the oppressive heat all around her. Her eyes opened, watering in the unpleasant atmosphere of the burning shrine ... and there he was, gold-haired, whiskey-eyed, tousled and anxious and all for her.

"Cullen," she whispered, and the anxiety on his fractious face shattered into relief, lips curving in a warm smile that said so much more than words might ever manage.

Other faces pressed in around his - Kaaras, Cole, Cassandra; Dorian, Bull, Varric; even Vivienne's distinctive headdress was visible behind them. So many of them, trapped by flame and red lyrium, here for her, to save her from the fate Samson had lost his chance to lay upon her. Warm lips kissed her brow, drawing her eyes back to her husband, her lion, her anchor to this world

"I'm here," Cullen promised, gathering her up and into the cradle of his arms. "You are never going anywhere without me again."