#but i only follow ppl ik irl and vice versa
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my followers went from 400 smth to 700 smth to 500 back to 700 now its at 400 smth ,,,, in the last month
i dont know what the fuck to believe this is crazy
#nyx rant#thank god i got over the stress of numbers ages ago#only number that bothers me is if an art piece i really like didnt get up to 200 notes really#or atleast 100#but thats just a small petty thing#dont care about numbers#but thing is weird man im worried if there are some other issues going on on tumblr#again not a big deal only big deal is if my posts get deleted#only social media i use is tumblr#dont wanna use anything else#thinking about bluesky but#i dont wanna waste time tryna figure out what to post#its exhausting#very anti social media but eh#in uni ppl used to ask me for my insta#i have one but i deleted all my posts in highschool and its just an empty page#sometimes ill post on my story if smth happens like my grad#but i only follow ppl ik irl and vice versa#but anyways ye#but like sooo many ppl used to ask for my insta to the point where i was like shit should i do smth bout this??
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Lots of tw's.. also please read the entire post if you start reading it. Im not a bad person. This is a specific case and i KNOW this person and have talked this stuff over w ppl that also know him. He manipulated me into hating the ppl i know i love most (as friends) now and did a lot of fucked up shit a lot of which I'll list
Tws include : sh, severe mental illness, "kys" jokes (wasnt rly a joke), ed, trauma, etcetc
Im only saying this shit on here because literally no one knows who im talking about and never will. This is an irl person who doesn't even have Tumblr im pretty sure.. I'd prefer if you only read this if ur a moot or i follow u or vice versa pls 😭
Im gonna throw the imaginary fights i have in my head on here
all the same person cus they side eye me at school and ik damn well he's trying to get ppl to not like me but idc cus im in the right and i have proof 💋
Like i just KNOW he views me as childish n shit
Likr
childish?? ME?? You're the one that said my 7 year old brother should kill himself because he played the same roblox game as you..a 14yo... But, yes, im the childish one...
its a genuine scenario I can't get out of my head and i need to talk abt it
Contrary to what you think, i DO like you. I don't hate you because my online best friend expressed how HE doesn't like you... Its actually crazy that you came into my home for a complete weekend, were as EXTREMELY disrespectful as you were, we didn't say anything and then you're out here saying me and my entire family hate you... Like no babes my parents went out and bought food from the store that we never eat bc you would eat it... No babes, i made cookies from scratch bc cookies are one of the only things you'll eat... No babes, we didn't even comment on the fact that you had three sodas and had two sips out of each of them before you wasted them...
Your "eating disorder" is DEFINITELY fake, too. There might be part of it in there but wdym "my grandparents starve me" when you asked if you could have a random bag of chips and they immediately bought it for you? I fear you just need to tell them when a food is out? They both work a ton bc they had to take you in a few months ago I don't think they notice much when the pantry or fridge is running low. Wdym "ew i hate that" to every food in existence but you scarf up wretched school breakfast and lunch daily...? Again with "i shove it down my throat bc my grandparents starve me" are you forgetting how close we got so quickly? How ik you? You wouldn't eat 95% of that before you starved to death if it was at my house... But you're gonna eat it all up there.
Same with your "personality disorder".... Wdym we're in the middle of English and you go "bro i just spawned in. What am i wearing and why? Omggg why do i have sh on my arms???" Like be so fr rn. You aren't immune to being aware of PHYSICAL PAIN. And i get like.. having a different style but fym "why am i wearing this what is it" ..? (I have talked to a SYSTEM friend abt this and they can confirm its v fake seeming)
Its actually crazy when i didn't kick you out after you said that about my brother, you're actually insane. I get you have very recent trauma but holy hell refrain from making relationships if you're gonna fuck someone up.
You had your "friend" give me back my sweater bc you were too childish to do it yourself and look me in the eye. You moved seats without permission. You glare at me in the class where you can't move seats.
Also, that "friend".. you call her a slut and talk shit abt her to her face because she has HEALED sh scars. Then you walk around campus with gaping wounds acting like you're self conscious of it when you're actually begging for attention. This is NOT me saying ppl who sh are attention seekers btw.. i KNOW him and me and several other people agree he's doing it for attention. My friends have said they'd have relapsed after seeing them if it had been a bad time for them, thats how bad it was.
I genuinely hope he gets better bc he is fucked up in the head, however i also wish the best on his next victim of "we're friends". I hope they get away or meet him after he has gotten better.
To this guy - i hope you better yourself instead of trying to make yourself as bad as possible because you find comfort in that, or rot.
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