#but i might start to drag out this thing
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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Adding my own two cents bc HOLY SHIT YES!! Wish this was talked about more
My story is the same as saltynsassy31 (we're twins lol) so I'll cut to the case and say how i also had like, misconceptions about 2012 due to my fuzzy memory of the show. Tho i definitely watched and remembered more of it then salty did, so i didn't bite to far into the bait
I remembered the good parts, i didn't remember April being bad, or Raph being horrible, so when i saw posts about it i felt...kinda sad? Idk, but i didn't like it
And fuck, i was right, it wasn't as bad as they said. When i rewatched it, i loved their dynamics! I thought it worked out well. So to me those folks come across as either single children who never had to fight with a sibling, or had a real bad sibling relationship and idk, has a weird perception of it,,
I got so upset seeing so many do crossovers and it's just "rise being better then 2012" in the sibling relationship. And i cant express it enough, i hate it. Bc 2012 portrayed such a fun and relatable dynamic for me, with my own sister, and so did rise. But that praise to rise kinda..threw me off from wanting more of rise, i love the show and do wanna watch more, but im just so discouraged by the fandom taking shit on older versions sometimes
Not saying the other side doesn't throw shit either, but i haven't seen it as often as rise fandom :(
Raph was such a big softie, and he's exactly my type of character honestly. I kinda have anger issues myself so i can relate to him, and so it hurts to see others potray him as such a heartless being, when he just has trouble controlling his temper, but he does care A LOT for his brothers, I'd say he is more of a mother hen then Leo at times!
It just hurts bc i can just imagine someone berating me and my sister's relationship and how we treat each other, when how we treat each other is mutual. She annoys the shit out of me and i bite back! Sure we "bully" each other, but it's all fun and games, we can get a little toxic, but it's only human, we aren't perfect beings who do no wrong
We talk it out and apologise when we go to far, and the Raphs do the same, in their own way. Like we dont actually apologise either, we just fight, have a cool down, and then go back to watching Tmnt together and silently apologise
Nothing more needed
I wouldn't change what i have with my sister one bit, bc whag we have is special in its own way. And i see the same with Raph and his brothers, and as much as i would hate to have someone say shit about how i treat my sister or vise versa, bc there is a "better" version of us, i hate so as well when they do it to Raph
Tho i do remember one post of someone asking an artist who had their doodle requests open, to draw Rise Raph teaching 2k3 and 2k12 Raph a lesson for mistreating their Mikeys, and thag just..just got me sooo pissed!! But i had a breath of fresh air when i saw that the artist just made Rise raph be nice and understanding!! Saying how he wouldn't hurt the other raphs like that! Which yes!
And it brings me to another point to my rage, how they end up butchering Rise raph as well! Like he's gonna get mad, or "teach them a lesson" for mistreating their Mikeys/brothers, like, no??? He wouldn't?? He'd probably be understanding and try to help them manage their temper dammit!!
Now I'm just going on a rant here, and possibly just dragging this on, but i just had to let it out. Cuz it's nice to know me and my sister aren't the only ones who feel the same way
I am filled with such an intense rage oh my god I'm so fucking sick and tired
Just saw an art on Instagram where 2012 Raph, for no reason at all, insulted Rise Mikey's drawing.
What the fuck. What the actual FUCK.
Can we stop doing this please? Like oh my god I'm seeing it so much still and it's actually getting to me and it's just as hurtful/harmful as it was when I was in the Rise fandom. Like why are Rise fans like this????
I recognize the people that love 2012 and getting into it. But the hate is still rancid as all hell and it actively hurts me. I don't know if it should but it does.
Raph would never do something like that. It's so out of character for him like you guys he's not fucking evil I swear.
Stop demonizing 2012 just to make your characters look good. Just stop it.
Furthermore: If you do not like watching 2012
THEN STOP WATCHING IT JUST SO YOU CAN RAG ON IT
Like seriously what other reason would you have to watch something you don't like??!! I understand that some of you want to willingly give 2012 a chance, and while it is appreciated, if you only get a few episodes in and notice that it's not for you, then stop. Watching it.
End of story.
I'm not kidding it is HARMFUL. It is MEAN. So please, STOP.
I've had enough of this I swear to god-
#i could go on and on#but i might start to drag out this thing#and repeat myself alot lol#my adhd be making me make unnecessarily long rants XD#(dont do much jokes like these bc I'm uncomfy but i think this fits here XD)#tmnt 2012#rottmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#teenage ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles#reblog#cake talks#rant#long post
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if I had a nickel for every time I was in a fandom and a child character had a breakdown and did something that accidentally hurt another character, and then the fandom all turned on the character and vilified them because they [the fandom] can’t understand that sometimes 14 year olds make mistakes when they’re going through something traumatic, I would have 2 nickels
not a lot but it really is weird it happened twice
#This is targeted at anyone who vilifies Gon from hxh or Homura from pmmm#”Gon was manipulative towards Killua and took advantage of him” shut up shut the fuck up#”Homura never actually cared about any of the other girls she only cared about Madoka” never touch the internet ever again you absolute idi#I’m sorry that some of you incells can’t understand moral complexity or that characters can’t always be 100% good all the time#they were kids#they were only 14#At the same time saying stuff like this is actively undermining both Gon and Homuras characters but also Killua and Madokas as well#Killua and Gons friendship was kinda toxic from the beginning. They were each others first ever friends#and they didn’t really know how to have any#Gon was literally having a mental breakdown confronting the person who killed the closest thing he had ever had to a father#can you really blame him for lashing out???#And Homura#don’t get me started on the amount of idiots in the pmmm fandom who think she’s evil because he did what she thought was best for Madoka#she heard Madoka say she was unhappy being a god and how lonely she was and she took action#if she didn’t care about the other girls then WHY DID THE CLARA DOLLA DRAG THEM INTO HER LABYRINTH???#WHY DID SHE MAKE SURE THEY WERE ALL HAPPY WHEN SHE REWROTE THE UNIVERSE??#she tried for years to save Madoka just to fail when she made her final wish to become a god#imagine how she felt when she realized she wasn’t happy with that outcome either#when she realized she was all alone#she just wanted for her to be happy.#i swear to god#if you think either Gon or Homura are evil you might as well just block me now#because I fully believe you should not be allowed internet access#rant#rant post#pmmm#madoka magica#homura akemi#puella magi madoka magica#madoka kamane
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been playing webfishing a lot and then i got enabled by a friend to draw a bunch of my lil guy who is def Not up to any mischief. the dog chara is friend's :D
#webfishing#muri art#muri nice#the 4th image where theyre holding the box is where it clicked in my head and i Really started to go feral dsklhf#we were sayin w the last image n the body its like#someone fell in and they dragged em outta the water but it looks Very suspicious#and thats like their whole thing#seen with a knife cutting something??? turns out its fish and theyre cuttin up sashimi for everyone#there Might be a corpse somewhere too but who knows#sorry to turn the nice cozy fishing game into my personal horror i cant help it
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Graduation photos, episodes 161 and 167
#yugioh series#yugioh gx#pics#screencaps#judai yuki#part 6 of reposting things that never made it to tags because tumblr#161-167 might just be my favorite stretch of episodes in the entire series#now that i'm experiencing gx properly subbed and with more life experience than i had in 2008#my rediscovery of gx happened during one of the worst periods of my life#and seeing judai start to heal over those seven episodes meant something to me#hell it means something to me now#a reminder that things can get better#it's probably projecting but his pose in 167 says to me that he isn't totally okay yet#but he's still willing to come out and participate#where he had to be dragged out before#he's not all the way there yet but someday he might be#and in the meantime he's got it in him to wink and throw a thumbs up for the album#take a moment to engage with his friend behind the camera#instead of pulling away#as someone dealing with The Brainworms that can be a big difference#and i'm actively trying to get back to that stage#whoops tag essay
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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alright you’ve been extremely extremely kind and indulgent to me about my oc and i cannot possibly thank you enough <333333 so MY turn now to ask YOU about YOURS. please tell me about maglor’s distant granddaughter who is also your bbeg?? .w. or about the chatty hobbits i would very VERY much love to hear about both!!!
~ @nelyoslegalteam, reporting from main <3
(long post, sorry for the random people stumbling upon this lol)
so I'm the dm for the chatty hobbits campaign and essentially it's set in a beleriand-adjacent continent, but with a few extra races and stuff. of the founders of the original settlements, the king of elende (the elf kingdom) is Gil-galad's (invented for the campaign) twin brother Finellach/Finwain. originally he was inspired by the fact that gil galad has a ton of names but only uses ereinion/gil, so I just invented a new character and gave him half the names. I headcanon gil galad as maglor's son, so finwain is in universe maglor's son (left at the havens with gil bc his wife divorced him for kinslaying and his kingdom, being next door neighbors with morgoth, is far too dangerous for small children).
Anyways, his descendant Elinyel (also known as aramire or elinnor) is the current queen of Elende! she's an evil fire-themed bard who is extremely feanorian in all the worst ways - her actual kingdom prospered under her reign, but she just does not care about everyone else as long as she's protecting her people. There were some tensions with one of the major kingdoms to the north (conflict over unclaimed territory between the kingdoms and some tariff stuff), so instead of risking the other kingdom starting a war and hurting her people, she just preemptively invaded it and started burned all the border territories to the ground.
her actual coronation was pretty weird- so she's the second child, but her older sister was born in wartime and there's a general belief in elende that children of peacetime make better rulers, so Elinyel was chosen as her family's heir. her grandfather (the crown prince of his generation) died defending Elende in one of the major wars, but his younger brother and two young kids survived. there's a whole feud between their houses because the brother chose to retain the kingship even after the kids were old enough to take the throne. anyways, two generations later Elinyel killed her cousin Arendil (the previous king of Elende) over a dispute about the legitimacy of his house (and what she believed to be a dishonoring of her grandparents' sacrifice) and took the throne.
obviously she has many Issues. arendil also has two surviving kids who are now essentially trying to stop her from murdering all their neighbors in proactive defense of her people.
however, when she first ascended she recruited her friend group as her elite guard/vassals of the kingdom. (aka the other bosses in the storyline). so it escalated to a war between her forces and the children of arendil, which ultimately culminated in her beloved sister being killed by one of arendil's children. this in turn led to her having basically a massive mental breakdown and feeling like she failed to protect her loved ones (exacerbated by some of her other friends being killed in battles she led). a normal person might decide this is was kind of her fault for starting a war and putting her friends in charge of the army. instead she decided she needed to destroy everyone who could ever potentially pose a threat. which is, in her eyes, literally everyone on the continent (except for her kingdom, of course).
so now she is at war with absolutely everyone of all factions! She is also somehow winning by virtue of Song almost on the level of maglor himself, and ten (now six) also incredibly powerful friends. Anyways, she has decided that the best way to wipe out the continent (except her kingdom) and start fresh is to literally find an ancient lost stone that can break the Doors of Night, summon Morgoth himself, and start the Dagorath. obviously this will Not go well for anyone at all if she succeeds, but she is on a full-on rampage and genuinely believes she (plus friends) can protect her kingdom from Morgoth's army while he wipes out everyone else.
Here's some old art of her btw!
And some slightly more recent unfinished art of her and the Evil Friend Group from when they were younger:
and here's (L-R) her cousin who is the 3rd boss, Elinyel, and her sister from before the war!
#asks#THANK YOU FOR THIS BTW#i only have 1 friend irl who plays dnd and is also not affiliated with the campaign#and they aren't a silm person#so i cannot talk w anyone irl about the Lore#one of the few kingdoms who could really oppose her is the magic one#bc max level wizards might as well be ainur and the monarch of the magic kingdom is Very Powerful#however. said monarch is also the twin sibling of one of elinyel's friends#(who is also an evil lich now and also maybe dating a diff friend who is an evil sorceror? not sure of details yet)#so the super powerful battlemage monarch is remaining Politically Neutral so they don't have to fight their literal evil twin#currently the party is level 6 and just defeated the very-weakened wraith of one of the friends#she was a druid but sort of decayed when she was corrupted and was kidnapping untrained/low level sorcs as servants to siphon power from#and also living in the Grove of Resurrection in order to stay intact#i forgot her dialogue while running the battle so while i looked through my docs i just had her say 'loading please wait' lol#also more chatty hobbit stuff#the grove is a huge grassy area with a walking tree in the middle#so the whole thing is constantly roaming aroudn#the wraith-druid had her castle built on it so she could have a moving castle that also heals her#the grassy part will resurrect any dead thing put on it#for the battle they had to drag her off the grass in order to kill her#technically shes been dead for some years but is surviving via constant contact w the grove#the hobbit (Shade) is from the Alder family who has historically been the guardians of the grove#he discovered he could talk to the tree in the middle and immediately started trying to figure out a way he could use the grove to#clone one of the party members#the tree does not approve of intentionally cutting off people's arms to see if it regenerates into a clone lol#oh! and they found anglachel in the grove. the dragonborn monk wants to keep it
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[points up to a graph with a line drawn in crayon] and if we take a look at the average amount of years between each paper mario title's release date, it wouldn't be unreasonable to expect a new paper mario game sometime this year[i am immediately chased out of the room by a security guard with a spray bottle
#skye's ramblings#idont caare what people say origami king was a step in the right direction i cant wait to see whats next. smiles at nintendo very big#however any future titles will be at a major disadvantage from the start#because unlike origami king they will probably not have olivia. interesting to think about how they might handle this#tbh new pm is probably the only thing that could drag me out of t/pn these games are like an extension of my soul. or something
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oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands
#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him#so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a#complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully#reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how#peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later.#he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've#read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what#the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've#probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give#brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which#isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want#you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i'#a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of#as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love#when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me#this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade#girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the#same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her#mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them#romeo.txt
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Depression is always like “no one loves you” “you’re just a nuisance”“lie awake in torment” and “attempt to sleep for 100 years” blah blah blah as if I don’t KNOW that people love me and I’ve got stuff I’ve gotta do. get the heck out of my way.
#ghost posts#depression might not let you feel it but you can at least know it#and then keep on fighting#I’ll be the first to admit I wouldn’t have made it through without God#but yeah! depression is super evil don’t listen to it#and if you find yourself starting to ‚ look for help#depression will get stronger than you if it’s fed#depression is never kind though it may mold words as such#manipulative little dastard that it is#the funny thing is having experienced it my attitude towards mild depression is act softly#while someone in a bigger struggle with it to the point of near total irrationality is drag them out by their legs#which is where I was and what happened with me via a neighbor bless her#anyway life is hard but it is worth living and you are loved#don’t let depression lie to you about that#depression
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Steve is most likely to end up in a lavender marriage and Tony's most likely to end up in a “married for tax/immigration/inheritance fraud” reasons.
They meet as married men and pine for each other hardcore and are also trying not to read too much into how their interest seems reciprocated and oh nooooo both Immigration/the IRS and the the Church/in-laws/DADT era army dudes or whatever are snooping around at the same time at each of their marriages and they have to be so good at being married at the people they are married to oh noooooo and they other guy doesn’t know why they are suddenly being iced out and maybe they were just imagining things? maybe it’s for the best with all these eyes around on them…
#not to get too real but i love queer people. we see each other and we save each other#i wish i could talk in depth about this lgbtq history panel i went to tonight without doxxing myself#but basically all of these panelists were older gay ppl & one of them won a very monumental court case in the state#and right after introductions one of the other panelists turned to her and thanked her so profusely for the sacrifices she had made#and the work she did to win that case#and that by achieving that win for herself she paved the way for this other panelist to have her own family recognized legally by the state#i don't know i'm not explaining it well but something about knowing and seeing that gratitude in real time. understanding so viscerally tha#so much of our history has happened within one or two lifetimes. to the point that many of the champions of our current rights are alive#today for us to learn from and listen to and THANK#i met two nb ppl through school last year and have since become very close to them#they are the only two ppl on this planet who use my pronouns the way i want them to be used. they switch it up every time and i love them#a little bit more each time i hear them talk about me. it's magical#my childhood best friend told me he liked boys and girls like a month after we first met each other in the fourth grade#he told me there's a word for that; he's bisexual#i think abt how incredible that was a lot. how brave he was to say that and to own that and how long it might have taken me to figure#out that i was the same had he not said it.#anyway all this to say that yes absolutely i love this#steve and tony meet at a military gala. steve's being recognized for his service and tony and his wife were invited by some higher-up who#imagined he could use the event as a way to cozy up to him and earn some good favor before negotiations start on SI's contract renewal#their eyes meet while steve's up on stage. he hates these things. hates being dragged into the spotlight. he feels naked and bare and#vulnerable every time. trapped in enemy territory with no cover. but he sucks it up he kisses his wife on the cheek and she smiles#big and beautiful; perfect like they've run their lines 1000 times over. like they could recite each other's parts by heart#he makes his way to the podium. breathes deep to center himself before he launches into his thankless thank-yous. steve's a terrible liar#but somehow he's made it this far in his career. he can manage for one more night. except#right as he lifts his eyes to speak he sees him. bright eyes burning into his from a shadowed table in the corner. the brass speaking at hi#on his left and a lovely woman who's bored and unimpressed on his right. and him looking directly back at steve#steve's breath catches and he chokes on air. trips on his lines. forgets himself and loses the beat of the scene#he looks down at his notes and ignores them. raises his face to the light and plays himself to be seen by an audience of one.#anon#signed sealed delivered
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#thoughts from hel#so basically i submitted a cover letter with some highlighted text in random colors bc i forgot to unhighlight them before submitting#(i highlight things to remember to change them for each job app but i might have to deprecate that practice after this)#and then i realized and was like oh fuck and i was like well maybe i should just own it y'know. it's me being super innovative and creative#and also since i highlight stuff to change all the highlighted texts were the most relevant parts of the cover letter anyway#but the highlighting job was messy as hell after i dragged sentences to and fro all over it while i was formulating that thing. like#the highlighting started kind of in the middle of my sentence and had extra highlighted spaces and colors n stuff it was. haphazard.#so i was like okay. i probably can't gaslight (by sending psychic vibes to the recruiter-- since it's an online form#with no direct communication between me and them whatsoever) the recruiter into reasonably thinking this highlighting job#was on purpose. so i spent a full like TWO EXTRA HOURS spiraling into “can i submit the form twice or should i just take the L on this”#and ultimately submitted it a second time with the fixed letter. uhhh hopefully it was the fixed one but i'm too tired to care now#part of the job description was “attention to detail” so i definitely failed that one the first time around but the recruiter#who reads (hopefully. because with how saturated the job market is now they might not even do that) my apps#had BETTER see all the fucking attention to detail i paid to making sure my decision to resubmit would be a good one#telepathically. of course. (the difference between overthinking and attention to detail is how much you are appreciated)#i literally went on so many forums and the help page for the recruiting application website thing to find out how exactly they handled#duplicate applications bro i could RECITE this shit to anyone now. fuck#time to go to sleep. tomorrow is a new day. with ten+ more companies to apply to. 👍
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just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service
(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?
#Thanks for the ask !#HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect#based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop#saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which#is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because#you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy#i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane#and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a#knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one#when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid#so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from#nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and#beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees#to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and#nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the#gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes#other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to#walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and#eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when#he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a#girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever#kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to#find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus#like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy#when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate#ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition#because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would#give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a#shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...
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#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i#shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and#i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but#like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure.#whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i#should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh.#i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i#do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18#days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno#how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do#something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do#i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its#like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be#miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do?#try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can#tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends?#id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st#roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can#never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated#unrelated
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between my computer deciding to rebel, and work, and life, and I feel like I have a perpetual minor cold with that kinda slightly stuffy feel and that taste in the back of my throat,
I am kindly requesting someone to just Old Yeller me at this point
#the computer one is pissibg me off particularly because i Just built this shit two years ago#then i do a driver update a couple of weeks ago and start noticing that now if i game and watch a stream at the same time#some windows process starts choking the fucking life out of my CPU after a couple of hours#and after following a chain of looking shit up i get to ghe event viewer#and there's just a nonstop parade of errors for typically one or two things#at this point i drag my dad in because im out of my depth#i do some more shit. i update and reflash the bios. i check drivers 500 times. i reformat the drive and reinstall windows from scratch.#even if it seems okay for a bit it eventually starts shitting out errors again.#they are either about DeviceGuard or complaining about the network#i look up some more things! i find some references but they tell me to turn off or on some things that are already enabled or disabled.#we begin thinking theres something wrong with the network part of the motherboard#i have an adapter we grabbed from work to try when i get home.#if that doesnt work then i am buying a new motherboard cpu memory and cpu cooler#because if im going to have to fucking replace shit then i might as well upgrade#part of me wants to keep the old stuff and set up a new computer and try troubleshooting because puzzle. and i hate not knowing WHAT PART#SPECIFICALLY is fucked#bro i am so TIRED#i JUST did the math a few weeks ago and was like YES if i live on ramen for a few pay cycles i will pay off my credit card and start saving#to put toward my student loans when those start up again. and my computer went 'lol thats cute'#like i am deathly afraid that i will replace all this shit and it'll STILL have this issue#like. it's useable. i could live with it. but it's clearly not normal behavior and that's what bothers me. something is clearly wrong.#not to sound old but remember when shit just fuckin worked#like i sat there for 5 hours yesterday trying different shit. finally thought i had fixed something. go to bed. wake up.#STREAM OF ERRORS for the network thing again every few minutes while i was asleep.#what are you DOING. what is WRONG WITH YOU.#my dad is looking over my shoulder at the event viewer like 'that looks like a SQL statement but why is it failing etc etc'#EXCELLENT QUESTION AND I ONLY UNDERSTOOD THREE OF THOSE WORDS! why is my computer sick!!#no it's not a virus. i promise. i was raised better than that#it FEELS like something fundamentally broke. it feels like a hardware thing. but how. what fucking demons did microsoft summon#in a driver update. that went into my computer and physically broke my shit
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Ya know, every animatronic in Meteors (turned or not) would absolutely have a collection of random things from the outside world. I'm not sure what everyone would end up favouring specifically, but I know that every single one of them has at least a temporary fascination with plants.
Look at this little flower! It's so tiny! How can something so small grow like that? What do you mean the trees were once like little sticks in the ground?! Grass just... Grows?? On its own??? How's it do that...??? How does it survive the winter??? THIS is where food comes from???? Wait, you can just... grow stuff on your window sill???? How do they grow if they don't eat...? HOW'D THIS PLANT GET UNDER THE CONCRETE?!
#meteors au#i had them all gain an interest in specific parts of nature in rebuilt au#chica had always wanted a little garden in that and sunny had latched onto it#so they gradually built this dream up until they could finally give it a try#and in doing so they dragged everyone else in on it too who all found their own things to do in it!#i loved that idea that they made their own space from seed to tree themselves#so i thought hey! meteors is perfect for this!#can give them an allotment that becomes a regular hang out spot outside the plex!!#bringing flowers to friends still inside the pizzaplex with excitement#and being devastated when they wilt and die off...#grilling everyone they possibly can about the world starting with wait birds shit seeds??#you get me?? they have mode resources this time though so it might not be as...#i guess important? led up to?#in rebuilt au the garden was a hope they could cling to among all the pain...#it could still be that! the vibes would just be different in this au cause ya know#it different
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