#but i love tma a lot soooooo

[thefleshyougoveggie]

this hole i saw on my walk in the woods is sooo the buried coded

[itchyeye]

My absolute favorite TMA statement is 152: A Gravedigger’s Envy. I wish we’d had Hezekiah Wakely as a recurring avatar, just a little bit. It’s really neat to see that chronicled descent into being an avatar from an outside pov (since we’re seeing Jon’s avatar descent from his pov). It’s all very much being talked about in the letters like it’s regular and good because Hezekiah is so lost in the Buried sauce but I’ve called for the propaganda I wanna go take naps in random deep holes. Underrated statement cuz the Buried is underrated

I also really like a lot of the Spiral statements that break the traditional format and end up more poetic in nature. Like Insomnia or Upon The Stair. I wish it happened more often because it’s a very nice narrative touch to show the breaking of reality for the statement giver that they can’t tell their story in a traditional beginning-middle-end. The Spiral is very abstract in nature so I liked it

i'm soooooo happy that gravedigger's entry has gotten so much love bc i mever see anyone mentioning it and it is SUUUUUUUCH a good statement 😫

it's also lovely that you mention the fact that it's a different pov of becoming an avatar bc right after he reads this statement jon goes down to the tunnels to stare at jane's failed ritual site and talk to helen, and their entire conversation is AMAZING

shout out to the github transcriber for being the REALEST when it comes to complicated audio descriptions

also this is SOOOOOO CRAZY IT MAKES ME INSAAAANE

god i LOOOOOVE THIS SFM and then i so vehemently disagree how the show ended up framing it lmao.... we were 98% of the way there. "there" being a cathartic Gothic exploration of accepting your true monsterous nature because you have no other choice. of accepting the glorious transformation that was forced upon you. of becoming one with the thing that was foisted on you. we were THIS CLOSE to eldritch hannigram god what if i killed myself...

but yes every single spiral statement is my favorite 🥰 the spiral is very very dear to me in all its forms

[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

MAG12 - First Aid, more review time

GERARD KEAY! HOW DARE YOU HANG OUT WITH THAT CULT! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR ARCHIVIST IS NOW FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME!

This episode may not be scary, but I must say that it's mysterious and it's hilarious. I'll explain in a minute.

Gerard Keay is the Batman of TMA, he would get along with Dean Winchester like a house on fire and he deserves his own movie, hell, a tv show. I mean, he lives in an action movie, what the fuck is he doing in this episode in Christmas Eve??? All he has was a suit, a zippo with an eye on it, a long black coat and was being basically a goddamn hero???

Dude's crazy and we love him for that

Quotes for this one:

Ms Saraki is not a poet nor she's dramatic, so I don't have much to comment from her. Every single paranormal bit had me like "sis, run" at every turn. Mad respect for her.

"There’s obviously a lot to unpack here, so let’s start with what is provable." - Jon "I hate my job" Sims, April 17th 2016

Sometimes I want to stranggle him, wtf you mean "provable" Jonathan???

“Veepalach” might also be a mishearing of the Polish word “wypalać”, according to Martin, which means to cauterize or brand. Admittedly, if Martin speaks Polish in the same way he “speaks Latin,” then he might be talking nonsense again, but I’ve looked it up and it appears to check out." - Jon "You must be proffessional at work" Sims

Emotional constipation strikes again!

"It has not escaped my notice that this is the second time Gerard Keay has turned up in this Archive." - Jon Sims, completely unaware of everything

"(...) and if we’re lucky maybe we already have a statement from him tucked away somewhere in these damn files." - Jon Sims about Gerard Keay

yeah, a statement from Gerry, i know how that would be:

JURGEN LEITNER? STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITENER GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEIN LEITNER STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JURGEIN LEITENER I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP BOOKS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT---

"At 03:11:22, it shows everybody in that room, which I personally counted at twenty-eight people, standing up and calmly filing out of the doors. (...) The rest of the staff and patients do not return until 03:27:12, over fifteen minutes after they left, when they walk back in through the same doors. The footage does not contain any sound, and no alarm of any sort was recorded, so I cannot offer any guess as to why they left, or what they were doing in the intervening time." - Jon Sims, scared af

notice how he "personally counted all 28 people", woah, I liked this bit soooooo much.

"There is one other thing that Sasha highlighted, however. At 03:22:52, the feed cuts out for less than a second, and is replaced for a single frame by a close-up of a human eye, staring back through the video feed." - Also Jon

wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf

General overview:

Vibe: great, absolutely great, wtf gerry

Horror: spoooooooooky

Audio: pretty ASMR in general

Humour: just the facts, and Jon being neurodivergent

Score: 10/10

[magicaldreamfox1]

🥺🎢✨ for the writer ask game!

wahhhh three at once !!!

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

since this is writers ask game this has to be abt writing. right. soooooo uhmmmmm... not to be a whore on main but i love small moments of tenderness. like holding hands hugs i love hugs ough. any of that and im immediately like 🥺 this applies to canon too so. double answer. just in case

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

hmmmmm im gonna take this as like from the writing experience perspective. and it absolutely has to be sugar daddy au. like it's truly a rollercoaster for me 😭 im experiencing the epic highs and lows of writing death rebirth cycles of violence etc etc going from having so much fun and giggling and kicking my legs to like harrowed from the war (writers block)

it's a lot 😭

overall i don't think my fics are that wild tho. besties who know my wips feel free to chime in tho

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

🥺🥺🥺 this is very sweet esp bc i've been feeling bad abt it lately. hmmmmmmm

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

can i say i really like my vp tma verse fic? i really like my prose there let me find a good excerpt

i did a lot of cool things in this fic im very proud of it !

im also very proud of the progress i made with my writing since i started posting on ao3 (my 2 year anniversary is coming up in april 🥺) !

and also bc i cannot shut up abt sugar daddy au. im very proud that i had the courage to start it and that im still committed to it. and that it's turning out as well as it is ! 🥺🥺🥺

send me an ask for the writer's emoji ask game!

[multi-lefaiye]

soooooo what's this tales of the gas station *twirls some fettuccine*

FIXATION POWERS..... ACTIVATE

SO! tales from the gas station is,,,,, pretty much my strongest fixation atm. my interest in it waxes and wanes a bit sometimes but it's always there in the background. looming.

what is it specifically? WELL! tales from the gas station is a creepypasta series centering around an underpaid, exhausted gas station clerk named jack townsend (who has the same name as the author, but i treat them as 100% separate and distinct entities, kinda how the protag of tma has the same name as his performer/writer).

for the most part, the gas station is pretty ordinary, except for the fact that weird shit happens there sometimes. however, as the series progresses, the weird shit becomes less and less benevolent and a lot scarier. the thing is, though, that jack is so used to weird shit that most of it doesn't rattle him, and the series has a REALLY good deadpan sort of humor to it that's just delightful. also it gets really absurd sometimes and it's just GOOD.

so, there's the creepypasta series, but it also has been adapted into a four-part book series! i'm still making my way through the books but boy howdy am i a fixated little man. i love it dearly. the books tell the same story as the original creepypasta for the most part, but the books go into significantly more detail and connect it into a larger narrative better.

so what's the actual plot premise? what kicks things off?

well, without getting into spoilers! picture this! you're a severely underpaid, overworked gas station employee with a ton of health issues and, in general, a lot to worry about. one day, your best friend pulls you aside at work to ask you about the guy who just came into the store and is just kinda hanging out. you explain who the guy is, and our friend says, very worriedly, "no, that can't be him. i killed him last night. his body's still in my trunk."

that's the day jack is having.

and as a last note, one thing i think is fun with this series is that like... the books tell the full story, but the original creepypasta is still *kinda* canon in-universe, in a way! because part of the plot involves jack keeping a blog to document his life and the weird shit in it, and the creepypasta represents that blog. i just think that's neat :3

anyway ok i have a lot of thoughts about this series but that's the basic rundown!!! if you want more i have like 300 essays locked and loaded /hj

[anachronistic-falsehood]

OK OK OK. i have to run some errands but i am also thinking abt this soo much now so im gonna type out this ask over the course of like the next hour in between things while im thinkin abt it. so i hope its not completely incomprehensible

OK ALEX KNIGHT OF VOID. i was not able to convince a friend abt him bc they are dead set on him being a prince of blood. whcih. shoutout to jonesy for that one because thats ALSO a really good classpect for him. ough. anyway anyway. the reason he is knight of void to me. hear me out this is my void player alex propaganda. void is. lack. void is nothing in the most literal sense. what does alex do. he disappears. thats what kicks off the whole fucking thing right !! alex disappears seemingly without a trace and jay goes looking for him. personally i see the operator as an embodiment of void in the homestuck sense. it takes things, it makes things disappear, it erases memories and redacts information and erases all sense of self in a person and thats how it wins. (theres an argument to be made that it could also be space coded with all the warping around and distortions and things but thats a whole other conversation its void propaganda time now) and alex becomes the one most closely associated with the operator. maybe tim was the source yeah but alex is the one who had the most direct contact with it the entire time. hes a knight because he protects nothing yeah (REALLY good interpretation btw. he thinks hes protecting something but there's nothing there.) but he was also corrupted into protecting the things the operator wanted (burning the tapes, getting rid of evidence, killing everyone associated, etc.) void 2 me is the opposite of light; where light deals in the acquisition of knowledge and understanding, void is the unknown and the unfamiliar and unclear

AND THAT BRINGS US TO. HEIR OF LIGHT JAY. FUCK. hes so heir coded. he didnt ask for this, he wasnt at all involved until alex offered to give him the tapes. he inherited the tapes from alex (who then stole them back and burnt them, void player behavior btw) . jay is soooooo. eye avatar coded also. i dont think youve listwned to tma yet but I know ive talked abt tma entities to u in passing before. ugh it makes me so insane. jay becomes obsessed with knowledge, with uncovering the mysteries, he HAS to Know whats happening. to the point where it becomes unhealthy. if i remember correctly one of the powers of an heir is to become their aspect (john when he turns into wind (?) ) and at a certain point jay . becomes light. in more ways than one if you want to be sappy about it (i do. i want to be sappy about it.) he becomes the knowledge, he becomes the information, his camera is an extention of his body, he's the sole provider of the events of mh through the youtube channel (and when tim picks it up its only because he feels like he needs to finish what jay started) . BUT ALSO. jay becomes . sort of a beacon for the whole thing. hoodie/brian are contacting *jay.* not alex, not tim. alex is hunting down jay for the tapes before tim even gets involved. dont even get me STARTED on jay and tim they make me fucking nuts. they only had each other. say what you will about the unhealthiness of their whole thing but jay was a light in the darkness for tim. he was hiding from everything, ignoring all of his problems and nothing was getting fixed, jay pulled him out of that kicking and screaming and even though they both got SO fucked up in the process ultimately tim escaped and jay was the light that led him out of the tunnel (< pun very much intended. fuck that tunnel). im kind of getting off on a tangent here sorry ive been reading a lot of fics i love them .

HEART PLAYER TIM. HOO BOY. now . hear me out. i know what you may be thinking. "mac you cannot just assign heart players to your favorite characters that is just you projecting." ITS NOT. OK. I JUST HAVE A TYPE WHEN IT COMES TO FAVORITE CHSRACTERS and that type Just So Happens to be full of fucking heart players. anyway. hear me out. tim. cares. so much. tim cares SO much for other people. the onlt reason he pushes people away is because he thinks it will protect them from him because he is so very full of guilt all the time and blames himself for infecting everyone. but he FUCKING CARES. and that i think is a huge huge huge heart player trait. maybe they are not the most pleasant people in the world maybe theyre huge raging assholes that will never admit it (cough cwilbur cough dirk) but DEEP DOWN (sometimes not actually all that deep down) heart players care about their friends so much that it hurts. however. heart players also tend to be super selfish <3 and tim is a knight. so . he protects. he protexts the people he cares about by trying to get them away from him. he also DIRECTLY protects the people he cares about (looking @ the scene in entry 72 hwre he directly stands face to face with the operator in order to protect jay. fuck that is one of my favorite scenes in the whole fucking thing. ) BUT HE IS ALSO SUPER SELFISH. he protects himself. he thinks hes protecting himself by shutting everyone out. he goes off on his own because he thinks thats the safest option. dont even get me STARTED on masky becausde i have a lot of complicated masky thoughts and this is already so very long. but like. u get the idea.

OK FINALLY. BRIAN. MAN. brian makes me so so so sad. doomed from the start motherfucker. he was tims first and best friend and . even though i stand by the fact thay the events of mh should not be blamed on tim. this was also . brians doom . hes so doom player. i also have a lot of complicated hoodie thoughts ans i think i need to rewatch a bunch of the totheark videos before i can fully formulate them all but . brian is. pretty much gone the whole series. he lost his memories and his sense of self so early on, so we see hoodie more than we see brian. brian is doomed to. lose himself basically. and even as hoodie i think he knows this . so all of his focus is on guiding jay, having jay lead him to the ark (still. somewhat unclear on whay the ark actually is . i think i need 2 sit down and just watch the whole series again tbh. so if this sounds like total bullshit pls forgive me i am jusf a little guy) anyway. he OBVIOUSLY knows more than jay does. debatably even more than tim does. how does he know these things! seer behavior. he knows that theyre all fucked though. there are plenty of allusions to death in the totheark videos and. well. despite whether he is actually guilty of this or not, tim certainly blames him for Jay's death. hoodie left them the note that led them to benedict hall which was. the death site for literally 3/4 of the entire group. doom player behavior. he saw that their deaths were inevitable and unavoidable and set pieces in motion to get all of those things to happen because he knew it had to. but hes also really passive with the way he interacts. very rarely does he actually directly give things to jay, most of the time its through codes and indirect contact and simply leading him/guiding him rather than. explicitly directing him. (which. silly side note. enrichment for jays light player tendencies. tossing him a puzzle feeder full of snacks like here you go buddy figure it out except the snacks are his friends' inevitable deaths)

GOD I HOPE ANY OF THIS MAKES SENSE. I AM THINKING ABT THEM SOMUCH DUDE.

LOOKING AT THIS WITH MY EXTREME AUTISM STARE. OGUHGOHGFH. ALEX KNIGHT OF VOID NO UR RIGHT UR SO FUCKING RIGHT. LIKE YES PRINCE OF BLOOD WORKS TOO BUT KNIGHT OF VOID IS SOOOO. AGH. he's gone and that kickstarts the whole thing. yeagh. THE OPERATOR AS AN EMBODIMENT OF VOID MAC I AM GOING TO START EATING GLASS UR INSANE FOR THIS AND ALSO SO SO CORRECT. OH MY GOD. obscuring information, hiding things, taking and taking until there's nothing left. operator lord of void and alex its unwillingly loyal knight. im going to start throwing things AGHHHH!!!!

void is so so the opposite of light which makes heir of light jay SOOOO INTERESTING. trying to achieve the opposite of what alex is doing. obsessed with knowing, with untangling the mysteries, finding out the truth. HE BECOMES THE ASPECT OF LIGHT, OF KNOWLEDGE. HE LOSES HIMSELF IN IT. IT CONSUMES HIM. light players attract attention from the narrative and jay is at the centre of ALL OF IT. HE is the one making the videos and posting them. he is the main character. remember when tim gets mad at jay for posting the videos for the entire world to see??? jay is MAKING THE NARRATIVE. HE IS THE NARRATIVE. HE IS THE MEDIUM THROUGH WHICH WE CONSUME THE STORY. and he will do ANYTHING to expand that narrative and give the people watching more and more information. he wants others to have this knowledge. he IS the light and he will spread information at the detriment of people close to him.

oghhhh don't even get me started on knight of heart time. ohg. he IS selfish!! and he will use that selfishness to protect the people close to him. he cares so so fucking much and it's killing him. and sometimes the best way to protect others is to be away from them no matter how much he doesn't want to be alone. heart is about identity and self. these blackouts he keeps having make him wonder who he even is with the mask on. he doesn't know who he is anymore. he barely knows who everyone else is trying to be anymore. ur so fucking right he is SO heart player coded AGHHHH!!!!! THE GUY EVER!!!

oh my god brian seer of doom drives me fucking insane crazy batshit stupid. holyyyyyy shit. yeah. oh my god. he's known they were doomed from the start. seers are a guidance class meant to nudge the other players on their destined path. he. he does that. he sets things in motion for himself, alex, and jay to die. it was inevitable and he knew that. he gives jay these little puzzles to decode (ENRICHMENT FOR HIS ENCLOSURE!!! seer behaviour <3) he's a shepard guiding them to their deaths I'M GOING 2 BE SICKKKKK!!!! he's always known there's no way for any of this to end without his own death and the deaths of his friends and in typical seer fashion he just kind of. accepts it. pushes the others onto the same path. lets it happen. rose behaviour!!! he's such a doom player but seer is literally such a perfect class for him ohhh my god. yeah yeah yeah. ur so right. i'm going 2 eat my fucking computer <3

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

a while back, i saw a person say that a lot of magnus archives fans saw basira and daisy’s relationship as a romance because they’re used to reading ya where the supernatural is a metaphor for like, forbidden romance or etc which leads to them kind of ignoring that, in canon, the actual metaphor is about police brutality and the monstrosity of that bloodlust & i think about that post when i see people misinterpret things i feel are fairly obvious

like, i don’t think anyone’s in the wrong for assuming a story will work like the last 50 books they read about the genre, but just because one line of thought would be right for a different piece of media doesn’t mean they’re right now. if tma was a YA novel, og elias might’ve actually been more important or more relatable, because a lot of people do genuinely like writing rich people with tragic backstories, but jonny was clear from the start that he never found elias interesting & emphasized in his statement that what mattered most to elias was that not enough people “realized” he was better than them. sure, there are lines about his dad being harsh and maybe, if this was about a different person, that actually would be a sign of neurodivergence, but that’s just not what this story is about! we’re not supposed to feel sorry for him in any way other than the fact he was chosen by jonah. but we’re also supposed to realize that jonah took him because he and elias are exactly the same

[vanyelle]

Bored as hell and stuck at home, so why the hell not.

Choose 5 OTPs without looking at the questions first.

1) Nandermo (What We Do in the Shadows)

2) Jonmartin (The Magnus Archives)

3) Erasermight (My Hero Academia)

4) Ardeth x Jonathan (the Mummy series)

5) Bubbleline (Adventure Time)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 5?

Dude I got into the series late, so Tumblr had already ruined me. I went in to episode one already shipping them.

2. Have you ever read a fan fiction about 2?

Honestly, I don’t think I’ve read any TMA fanfics.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr ID?

Nah.

4. If 3 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Oh they aren’t and realistically never will be canon, they’re more of a comfort ship of two people who desperately need affection that I can project aspects of myself on to (namely, the needing affection and being old and tired parts).

5. Why is 1 so important?

They’re two main characters and both are canonically queer. One is a fat Mexican man who is no longer treated as a background comedy character as he’s grown so much through the series. Their relationship is the crux of both of their character developments (though arguably Guillermo could still have a lot of his development without Nandor, a lot of what he does comes down to his affection for and need to protect Nandor; Nandor’s development, on the other hand, has to do a lot with his interpersonal relationships). Their relationship is AT LEAST a canonically one-sided romance with the sincere possibility of it being requited (”it’s requited, they’re just idiots” is the best phrase I’ve heard to describe them), and this is on a mainstream, primetime show. And, may I reiterate, canonically queer main characters on a primetime show, one of which is a fat POC. I love some representation, dudes. I just... I f*ing love this ship. TV couldn’t dream of having this canon even a few years ago, let alone a decade.

6. Is 4 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Serious, I’d think. Ardeth is a pretty serious man, lol. I definitely don’t ship it as a crack ship though, if that’s what you’re asking.

7. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Fuck, right now I’d say Nandermo or Bubbleline. I’d argue that most of the ships I ship have chemistry, but of those two ships, in one the actors have incredible chemistry that they bring on camera, and the other has had the time to develop it, especially after dating, breaking up messily, tentatively becoming friends again, and finally rekindling. Jonmartin ends with good chemistry, but they, lol, did not start the series like that.

8. Of all the ships, which ship has the strongest bond?

Again, Bubbleline has had the time to develop that bond. Otherwise, Jonmartin because it developed through surviving and relying on one another through life or death situations. Nandermo could be up there if they’d stop being idiots and, ya know, let themselves bond.

9. How many times have you read/watched 2’s fandom?

Listened through in its entirety once, but have gone back and listened to ship-related episodes multiple times.

10. Which ship lasted the longest?

Bubbleline, considering how old they both are and that the series is soooooo friggin long.

11. How many times, if ever, has 5 broken up?

Once.

12.  If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 1 or 3?

Lol, both, I’d think. Though by now I think Guillermo has had enough with zombies.

13. Did 4 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

They definitely aren’t canon, but I would think they’d try to hide their relationship and Evie would find out because she’s smart and good at reading her brother. Jonathan spending so much time in Egypt or Ardeth appearing in Britain without there being an apocalypse would probably be a big hint.

14. Is 5 still together?

Yep.

15. Is 1 canon?

Ask that question again after tonight��s episode! Guillermo does canonically have feelings for Nandor, and from spoilers I’ve read concerning tonight’s episode, I think Nandor admits that he “has affection” for Guillermo as well. Ugh I am legit vibrating with anticipation. Less than eight hours to go.

16. If all five ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Don’t you dare make me choose between my children.

17. Has anyone ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

They broke up and dated other people in the interim, so sabotage isn’t really the right word.

18. Which ship(s) would you defend to the death and beyond?

Any of them. Fight me. I am small and currently pent up with violence.

19. Have you ever spent hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

Oh yeah. Spent hours writing fanfics for them, too.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the five ships to break up forever, which ship would you sink?

Probably one of the ones that isn’t canon in any way. Or, another option, fight the witch. Have homoerotic close-quarters combat with the witch. Date the witch. Now my ships are intact and I have a witchy girlfriend.

[sazandorable]

Hey, can I ask for some TMA, Let's say, Martin and/or Elias and/or Gertrude?

why would you even leave me the option to choose, ever

Cut for spoilers! *grin at the usual suspect…….i can’t even put an ‘s’ here because the other one is already spoiled to hell and back and is definitely going to read this anyway, bad girl :/*

Martin

favorite thing about them: i agree with all the good things that have been said about martin blackwood in this tag recently, but my own favorite part, i think, is his choices. He seems to be a scared, oblivious, naive doormat but as the seasons go you realize how self-aware he is and how deliberate he is about insisting to keep things going, to be brave, to stay by Jon’s side, to take risks, to confront things or to not confront, to trust, to hope… So, it’s probably his willpower, probably?… the gay part is my second favorite thing.

least favorite thing about them: ……….. i probably wouldn’t like him in real life if he were my coworker and i hate that;;;;;;;

favorite line: oh there are soooooo many, and I’m in love with the entirety of MAG22, 39, 117 and 118, but it’s probably (“Why are you here, martin?”) “Well, well, Prentiss is out there and you can’t run so—”. THE FACT THAT THIS IS HIS INSTANT REPLY. I already adored this boy but this is where I knew he really was a cinnamon roll, too pure for this world.… that one “I’m sorry” and continuation from MAG40 is very high up that list too though, as you know. And all the “Please.”s :))))

brOTP: spider george MELANIE&BASIRA (I WISH) AND TIM (I WISH)… dark canon give us the times he went over to tim’s house and was Forbidden to mention jon and they just had a good time

OTP: /jon, /happiness, /only good things happening to him from now on

nOTP: any woman, he strictly gay in my heart

random headcanon: he’s a shockingly skilled liar. he might panic and be unable to keep it up when confronted about it, he gets stressed when he thinks too much about it, but he’s very good at weaving detailed but simple, believable lies and keeping them up long-term and never getting mixed up in them, never getting details wrong… and it’s an ingrained reflex that comes to him naturally by now. He’ll lie about random things about his childhood to make it sound like the typical childhood of a happy kid, and go to ridiculous lengths to keep it up, even though no one would care enough to check. He has three made-up friends from college that he sometimes “goes out for drinks with”, and he does go, so he can say “oh they’re late” if he runs into someone there. He once recounted a warm childhood story about his mother teaching him how to make a Polish meal, and when he went home he learned the recipe.

unpopular opinion: my reading of 118 is that he knew that, he expected that, hurt like fuck but he was fully prepared and a part of him still completely in control and calculating and estimating time the entire time. Like, he needed a minute to get back up, but yeah, that went as planned. He’s taken by surprise by the mention of Jon because that seemed way too insignificant and obvious to him to be an option.

song i associate with them: i obviously have a LOT of martin->jon but hey let’s have some Just Martin: Amsterdam by Imagine Dragons and Big Houses by Squalloscope (i see him as actually Polish, Catholic-raised)

favorite picture of them: ALL MARTINS I’VE EVER SEEN ARE FANTASTIC but that top-center one by @marimo-art

Elias

favorite thing about them: yeah it’s definitely the voice huh

least favorite thing about them: he… has fucked up. i mean it’s hilarious, but also takes some of the terror away. well it’s also terrifying to know sometimes he does things even he agrees he’d better not have done;;;;;

favorite line: shockingly, MAG92′s “[PLEASURED EXHALATION]”. though “Yes, I’m calling to report a crime in progress.” is still hysterical too and there have obviously been some also amazing lines from him since then.

brOTP: …………..peter? sortof.

OTP: ->jon, but like, for a given definition of the term

nOTP: i’m tempted to say melanie and yet. i’d be interested. but kldfjkdslfjsdf i’m still mostly “LEAVE HER ALONE” in canon.

random headcanon: uhhhhhh. right, i’ll say this one here i guess: he has a glass eye which makes everyone wonder at first (like Shadow about Wednesday in American Gods) which is glass and which is the real one. This accidentally makes his “I only have two eyes, after all” an even worse “haha third eye” joke.

unpopular opinion: EVEN IF HE’S NOT 65+ HE DOESN’T LOOK THAT YOUNG!!! MAKE HIM OBVIOUSLY MIDDLE-AGED OR MORE AND DISTURBINGLY ENTICING

song i associate with them: they’re both just elias->jon and. 1) i promised i looked for something else but… i really have to say take me to church. 2) to make up for that have The Royal We by the Silversun Pickups (tho that’s mostly jon pov)

favorite picture of them: this one by @centaurianthropology, still not QUITE my headcanon elias but the closest i’ve seen yet, and also, super rad

Gertrude

favorite thing about them: RUTHLESS, she’s such an unexpected and SO refreshing female character.

least favorite thing about them: uhhhh that she’s dead i suppose

favorite line: “[…] I feel almost… bad, but there’s ten years yet before I can afford a conscience.” not the question but i also really love the line “and Gertrude’s eyes turned cold.” and its delivery.

brOTP: leitner and adelard dekker sound like it? also the statement-giver from Crusader, i didn’t care much about the content but that episode was such a delight to listen to, I love old people…

OTP: Mary Keay

nOTP: idk. nah. nop. bring on all the terrible gertrude ships

random headcanon: jude perry was kinda mad she didn’t get to kill her herself and burned down a few buildings to celebrate/make up for it.

unpopular opinion: the pretending to be gerry’s mother was 100% a joke on mary (and gertrude/mary) and completely unrelated to Gerard himself, she didn’t feel much for him. … knowing this fandom that’s not even unpopular.

song i associate with them: uhhhhh i had to look for this one but oOOOHHH yes: Bones by MS MR. also Mr. Zebra by Tori Amos is her (+ mary) driving elias insane (and for bonus fitting points i originally knew it from a best-of album titled “Tales Of A Librarian”)

favorite picture of them: hey i don’t have any :( more gertrude fanart! give me short fat squat curly little granny in floral pastel pink dresses.