#but i love these episodes so fucking much

[edenfenixblogs]

Hamilton is a now-retired service animal for my PTSD.

He still does tasks and stuff but more out of habit and because he loves me than because he is at work.

He is excellent at his job—giving me deep pressure therapy, disrupting dissociation (which I don’t deal with as much anymore), stopping panic attacks, and waking me from nightmares.

He is both medical equipment, my best friend, my teammate, and my son.

And he is—I cannot express this enough—FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

But also

It’s fucking great.

My bff was dubious about a frenchie being a service dog. Then she had a depressive episode where she ended up needing my couch for awhile and I left Ham with her while I went to work and I came home and she was like “Whoa. Be helped so much. Whoaaaaaaa!”

Service dogs and other disability assistance animals are a funny concept to me. Like of course disability itself isn't funny but the idea that sometimes people will have a highly trained live-in 24/7 professional medical assistant who also happens to be a beagle.

[daddario]

Sam and Dean lacking personal space in every episode - 9/327

[consultingfujoshi]

ohhhh outie irving's thing goes so much deeper than I could have imagined. it was pretty obvious that he chose to become severed to try to use his innie self to communicate with and learn more about the severed floor and he's been doing all those paintings in the hopes his memory of the testing floor will bleed through to his innie, but this episode implies he's part of a much bigger conspiracy than just that.

irving is not some lone vigilante as I expected him to be. he's working with at least one other person to try to communicate with innies and spread knowledge of the goings on at lumon using his place as a plant on the severance floor. perhaps even the same people that helped petey become reintegrated.

he knows he's being watched and makes anonymous calls a ways from his home. he immediately had a cover story when milchick turned up like he was expecting to be questioned. he doesn't want to reveal that his innie woke up on the outside and is trying to figure out exactly how much lumon knows, and refuses to reveal his own hand before this. he tells milchick to tell him what all this is about so he can get a better grasp on how much he needs to lie about. he IMMEDIATELY distrusts milchick's motivations.

he has no idea what just happened and why, only that there's a chance all the work he's been doing on the outside has finally started paying off and he can't risk undoing all that progress by accidentally admitting to something. for all he knows his innie put this all in motion himself. he doesn't know it's part of a completely unrelated plan with his coworkers to break out. so he lies and pretends nothing happened because admitting his innie broke out might also fuck up the rest of whatever he's planning/working on. he's protecting both of his selves from a company he very clearly now is working to undermine.

he made sure to get home quickly after waking up at burt's (i still need to know how that played out, thanks!) so it looked as if he'd been there the whole time. the gears are immediately turning wrt his innie going to burt. he's trying to figure out how that guy fits into all this. maybe he's even going to approach burt thinking he's a co-conspirator on the outside and try to enlist him. I wonder how he will react when he finds out that's not the case at all and their connection is much more individual and personal than that. when he finds out his innie almost sacrificed all the work he's been doing the past three years because he fell in love and got his heart broken by this guy. I wonder if he'll ever find out.

AND WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH BURT FOLLOWING IRV AROUND. WHAT KIND OF SOULMATE MAGNETIC FORCES RED STRING OF FATE SHIT ARE THESE TWO ON!!!!!

[tomato-soup-whore]

why, pray tell WHY must these fucking writers not commit to the best ships ever. the makers of arcane clearly have no qualms about portraying gay people in an unrestricted manner, so WHY didnt they commit to jayvik. im genuinely so puzzled at this point.

its one thing when you have a ship like destiel that was accidentally written into homosexuality by a homophobic network, i at least understand how that ship came to be and why it never went fully canon. but JAYVIK??? for a ship with so much fucking evidence and chemistry and content to work with, made by clearly progressive writers, i have no goddamn idea why they wouldnt just make it CANON at this point. i have confidence that the writers could have made a well written love triangle between mel and jayce and viktor, truly. i am by no means a mel hater, love that queen, but him and viktor just have so much more fucking chemistry.

as we know at this point, the animators did a great job making all the characters super expressive and detailed. that being said, there are some scenes that i cannot imagine were made while thinking viktor and jayce had completely platonic feelings for each other.

i cant find the gif rn, but that moment in episode 3 of season 1 when mel finds them trying to break into heimerdingers lab and after she walks away jayce looks all happy and viktor looks at him and back at mel and then looks like he wants to OFF HIMSELF?? idk man personally thats not how i would look if someone had just very kindly covered for me doing illegal shit. that was gay and there was no other reason for him to do that. so WHYYYYYY animate it like that in the first place?

tl;dr: im just genuinely confused as to why the writers wouldnt make jayvik canon when they have all the reason and resources to

[lune-redd]

Okay but still though, why is it always Blossom that gets a boyfriend that's only introduced to be so in newer PPG stuff? Jared, that one guy from the CW script, this new Han D. Some kiddo. I feel like there could be many more interesting ideas you could do for a PPG Valentines special tat involves the other girls. Like why not further explore the relationships between one of the girls and an already existing character? Why not explore Buttercup and Mitch's friendship more? (Buttercrush already was an episode that had Buttercup having a crush on someone.) Maybe have some more chemistry between Bubbles and Mike! (When the fuck was the last time they did anything with Mike? I think a Bubbles and Mike story would be a way cooler Valentines special now that I think about it, they had cute interactions in Imaginary Fiend.) But no, it's always Blossom that gets involved in these love stories with guys that were introduced just to be her crush/love interest, even in fan made stuff! in PPG 2016, Blossom has a crush on Jared, in PPGD, Blossom is in a relationship with Dexter, in the CW script, Blossom has a boyfriend that is... there. It's always Blossom! The other girls (ironically) don't get as much love in that regard, they always play the third wheel! I mean you could argue that Blossom fawning over a boy while Bubbles and Buttercup are homies and don't need no man is a good contrast, but personally I'm a single lesbian Blossom watching as her sisters get into relationships truther because I'm awesome and different so

Actually since I mentioned Mike, they don't just have to do a Bubbles and Mike story they should just do LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE WITH HIM LIKE HE JUST APPEARED IN ONE EPISODE LIKE ROBIN PLEASE DO SOMETHING WITH THE LAD- y'know what fuck it this is a Mike Believe appreciation post now idgaf subscribe for more Mike Believe content

[cloudyskydreams]

Howdy!

I was wondering how the papyri boys (or whoever you’d like to write for!) would react to an SO who has major cuteness aggression and has no choice but to nuzzle them aggressively or bite them.

Thank you for your wonderful writing and I hope you have a lovely day/night!

I get cuteness aggression so bad sometimes

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ .. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . . ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆

Undertale:

Papyrus:

He's a little shocked the first time you do it and just watches in mild concern as you nibble on him.When you explain it he is so pleased he's cute enough to trigger it in you. Will accept your nuzzles and bites like it's any other form of affection and might nuzzle back into you with a skeleton kiss.

Sans:

Oh wow he's a little surprised at first y'know he's just not used to being a chew toy. Definetly makes as many biting jokes as he can anything related to teeth(I'm not creative enough to come up with some bite me (hehe)). He'll nuzzle you back gently and just accept his fate when you attack him with love.

Underfell:

Edge:

He's a bit put off at first and thinks you're having an episode the very first time. Doesn't understand what's going on when you're knawing on his bones in affection. Concerned look and slight disgust over the saliva on him the first few times but he gets used to it and just accepts it with mild exasperation. The nuzzles he can deal with better and will nuzzle you back in skeleton kisses though not as aggressively.

Red:

Absolutely thinks you're fucking weird but you're his weirdo so he's okay with it. Does not get you at all when you're straight up chewing on him but he understands this is one of your ways of showing love so he's just taking it with a grin and a head pat. Gets the nuzzles and will aggressively nuzzle you back with skeleton kisses while he holds you down so you're forced to accept them.

Underswap:

Stretch:

Thinks its nice and loves this form of affection as much as any other kind. Will aggressively skeleton kiss you back. 100% willing to return the energy. Doesn't really think of himself as cute so when he does something that's clearly adorable he's always a little surprised when you basically affectionately attack him.

Blue:

Also has cuteness aggression so he understands you. Nuzzles and bites you back just as aggressively and with just as much love. Sometimes he'll "fight" back and gently push you away or pin you down so you can't do anything and then he'll cause a counter attack.

Horrortale

Willow:

His brother has the worst case of cuteness aggression out of all the boys I write for so he's used to this. Will return the nuzzles and let you bite away at his bones as he gently pets your head. He doesn't understand what you two find so cute about him but it's kind of nice to think he's cute enough to cause an aggressive response.

Axe:

Oh yeah he loves this. Just stares at you with his big ass eyelight as he purrs loudly while you nibble on him. Nuzzles into you affectionately and so hard he knocks you over sometimes, he doesn't stop when he does either just climbs on top of you and continues the love attack.

[chrissieshauntedbones]

I'm glad Tumblr exists so I can scream and cry my emotions out about the Fraser's --- I was NOT OKAY with the way season 7 ended.

By now I am used to the cliff hanger episodes and the "what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck" of Jamie & Claire constantly almost, nearly, dying. That's part of their lives. They are fighting for their love and their lives, I get it.

Because of questions I had since I have only ever closely followed the show, with plans on eventually reading the series (when I am not over run with a never ending TBR---The Outlander series being somewhere in the middle of my TBR) I actually conceded with myself, and purposely, read the "spark notes" (combed several reddit threads) for "Go Tell the Bees that I am Gone" because I needed answers that my anxiety could not have left alone.

*sigh*

I know Starz is ending the show at season 8, and that they are choosing to end the show pacing with "Go Tell the Bees...", with strict direction from DG on how to end it amicably, ultimately I assume it's because DG doesn't believe she will be releasing book 10 for some time, and they need to wrap the show.

I just wish Starz would do a follow up once the final novel is released. Couldn't they pull a Downtown Abby? Couldn't they have done some TV movie or limited release show once the final book came out? (I know it's wishful thinking, don't shame me)

I know once the series is over & there is no more Jamie & Claire to devour visually, I will go to the books, and then once that is read through, I know I'm just going to be "empty" and sad for a while.

I know their love is fictional, and that they, are fictional, but I just love their love so much.

My current TBR is mentally exhausting to me. I know I did this to myself, but:

I am currently forcing myself through SJM's "Crescent City" trilogy (it starts so slowly and I've been struggling for months). Once I finished that, I wanted to move on to her "Throne of Glass" series (8 books). So, we're at 11 books there to finish the Mass verse, unless she releases anything new 🙃

Then I planned to move on to the "Vampire Chronicles" from Anne Rice (13 books).

After that, is the Outlander Series. I placed it in the middle in hopes that book 10 might be released sometime soon, but 🤷🏻‍♀️🙃 Book one of the Outlander series is still 2 dozen books away as of right now.

I get reading burn out FIERCELY due to being a DnD DM for 2 campaigns.

I just 😪😩 ... I wish there was more instant gratification with Outlander because I'm a glutton for it.

Thanks for listening to my self inflicted ted talk.

I’m not as brave as I was before ye ken, not brave enough to live without you anymore.

2.13 | 7.15

[lexicorp]

#1 creature with the cringe fail but can kill you rizz-

TFP Star has been the primary iteration for the lore in my brain for years and he is so iconic to me

mf is so fucking weird to draw tho, like gd it, TFP has such fancy ass designs and it's so hard to find clear references to see the details and shapes and shit correctly

Star with the autobot colored con symbol who got denied from joining em that one time cuz of the salt lore smh

I love fics that go canon divergent on that episode, tho to me sometimes they make him too much of a lil meow meow

I want him to have his ulterior motive of tryna use the bots to get at Megatron in an Armada style way

if I'm not careful I might end up fuckin outlining another thing before finishing my other one lmao

[secriden]

asjfdlsjkdfLJSDLFJKSDLF OMG!! Ok I know I said it at the start of the episode but Style is literally weaponising his own death. Not even just the suggestion of it, but taking his own life and using it as bait since Fadel still won't let go of his distrust.

God, I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH!!!!

[somewhere-in-the-rain]

3 things I loved about Onyx Storm (and 3 things I didn’t)

Disclaimer: I gave Onyx Storm 5 stars. Any book that has that kind of emotional effect on me is an immediate favourite. This is just my opinion :)

Spoilers for Onyx Storm ahead

3 things I loved

Domestic Riorgail. Omg. They are my favourite fictional couple ever. Xaden washing Violet’s hair? *chefs kiss*. Calling her “love”? Instant dopamine. I need these two like I need air.

Violet being the most intelligent person in every room. If I wasn’t in love with her before, I am now. I was eating up every moment of her verbally taking down people in positions of power, and she fucking killed it in this book. My personal favourites include telling Halden her plan for the quest squad and getting her way, outsmarting and poisoning the triumvirate, and her monologue to the riders and fliers at the beginning of the book. And Xaden just sitting back and watching and being so proud of her 🥺.

Xaden. Ugh, I adore him. I don’t even feel the need to explain this one. Him having infinite faith in Violet’s ideas and plans, being willing to do anything to protect her, throwing Halden into a wall with his shadows, being 100% down to marry Violet whenever and wherever. He’s still such a drama queen, but I love him.

3 things I didn’t love

That one scene where Violet falls off Tairn and into Xaden’s arms and says “my, my, what else can you do with those shadows” or something. This is so specific, but I got insane second hand embarrassment and had to shut the book because I was cringing so much.

The multiple POVs. Xaden’s, I understand. That happens every book. But Rhiannon’s and Imogen’s just felt so out of place and unnecessary and just really took me out of the story. I think they’re both great characters, but I don't care about their stories like I do Violet’s. I’m going to be so disappointed if RY decides to do multiple POV again in book 4 with anyone other than Xaden and Violet because I think it could genuinely ruin the series.

The plot felt a little episodic. Especially when they were in the Isle Kingdoms (unfortunate, as some of my favourite moments took place here), just going one island to another, meeting new people who all worshipped a different god and had a different trial they had to undergo and a different government system and a different personality type… I just felt a little overwhelmed by the worldbuilding sometimes.

Anyway, I’m not going to emotionally recover for at least a week from binge reading this book, and basically just needed to blurt my thoughts somewhere to clear my head before I forget them all. I hope no one is too emotionally drained from reading Onyx Storm (that’s a lie, you all had better be suffering along with me).

[buglicorice]

thanks for the tag ^^

last song: oh uhm... this....

xD

my fave colour is yellow :D like it kinda depends on my mood but either a yellow ochre or a golden yellow

last book: ... I cant remember ;-; but I have two coming in the mail soon ^^ its 'an extra pair of hands' by Kate Mosse and 'an unquiet mind' by Kay Redfield Jamison idk what either will be like they might both suck but Im excited to get back into reading regardless :3

last movie: ...uhhhhhhh OH! the last wallace and gromit movie I am ashamed to admit I was so close to crying at the end waaa ><

last tv show: the last thing Ive watching in full was gundam witch months ago but recently I watched the first 2 episodes of akiba maid war

sweet/spicy/savory: Im still in denial of my sweet tooth but fuck does sugar taste good... By virtue of my south east asian blood I am bound by honour to enjoy spicy food and luckily I do ^^. savory stuff has always been kinda ehh for me I find its the hardest flavour to stomach.

last search: ignoring akiba maid war to make sure I spell it right and looking up the author names my last search was the chug jug lyrics. No you dont get context

current obsession: help ;-; I started warframe again after like 6 years and I already have 90 hrs its been like 2 weeks I have school help T^T

also because its my sin to carry I did also stay up till 4am playing hoi4 kill me I will understand

looking forward to: tbh not much :( life is just kinda one big line rn just a lot of waiting. ig im excited to like talk to my friends and spend time with them and such but thats kind of a given. love my pals :>

10 People I'd Like to Know Better

Thanks for the tags @gaiaseyes451 and @beerok23!💜!💜

last song: Gloria by the Lumineers

favourite colour: Red, like a deep luscious red that you know would taste good if you licked it. Don't act innocent, you know exactly what I mean by that. Red is a color that you just know tastes good.

last book: I am currently trying to read the Witcher series (per @lickthecowhappy's suggestion) so I am at the start of the Last Wish

last movie: Moana 2 (I have young kidsssss)

last TV show: My oldest is almost 10 which means she stays up late. Which also means I have so little time to watch adult things. So we've been watching the Office with her. I think I want to watch the Good Place with her next tho (I've never watched it!)

sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet followed very, very closely by spicy. Habanero maple syrup is one of my favorite things on the planet.

last thing i searched online: How to explain a 10 year career hiatus in a cover letter (looking to return to work since having kids. It's been an interesting experience so far).

current obsession: Have not moved on from Good Omens, but recently realized that my obsession may be more in my own little connected universe of fics that I wrote rather than the actual canon at this point😳. I'm sure once we get that first glimpse of red and white hair that will change very quickly.

looking forward to: Going back to work and having a more established adult life again, honestly. I've been so lucky to be home with my kids while they are young, but I am ready. And figuring out how my newfound passion for writing is going to fit into that new life of mine. Another big year of change over here for me, and I am eagerly looking forward to how the growing pains are going to make way for something beautiful beyond.

ten people i’d like to know better:

@addledmongoose, @di-42, @afrenchwriter, @haemey, @eybefioro, @alwaystuesday, @katspause, @alphacentaurinebula, @shadesofecclescakes, @ochre-sunflower and whoever wants to do it (but also feel free to ignore!)

[ethtyn]

i'm just sat here kind of absentmindedly thinking about how different UHC and the Life SMPs are, even though they're both ostensibly hardcore servers.

i LOVED UHC back in the day - it's part of why i'm so attached to Etho being scary (he won s11 in my heart of hearts) - but as far as i can remember, UHC was sweaty as fuck, and absolutely no story was told or characters were played. it was very much gear up, go to 0,0, kill anyone you see on the way, die/win.

i think i would like to see another Mindcrack-style UHC but with Life SMP drama attached to it - one life, everybody has x amount of time to gear up, and then game on. i think the dynamics of the current group are good enough (and MCYT culture has shifted enough to prioritize interaction) that it could lead to some really fun tension. plus most of the group aren't sweaty enough to Cask of Amontillado themselves until everyone else has died 😒

it probably wouldn't last nearly as long as a regular Life series, but it'd be kind of a fun interim series or episode, anyway.

[gimpwithoutorgans]

I love Loumand. Their relationship is a game they play with one another, but they’re both separately making up the rules on the spot lolll. Growing up, they had to construct complex masks that allow them to live with themselves and their decisions. Now together, they construct new masks that simultaneously reflect one another and bolsters the imagined versions of themselves they cling to (especially post trial). It’s all a very messy and incoherent game of charades. I love them both so much.

I think the the sewer scene in episode 3 perfectly encapsulates this game on multiple levels:

#1 The Paris memory. Fire serves multiple purposes here. It’s a threat. Armand saying “I am violent and monstrous, I will hurt you”. It’s a warning. Armand saying “I am violent and monstrous, stay away”. When he extinguishes it, he has a moment of vulnerability (“Those with the most power are often the weakest”). He reveals his cowardice and selfishness. He reveals the monster in him as well as the child. All this right before he reveals Louis is home (the tension dissipates). Out of the sewers, Louis responds to this (admittedly dramatic and emotionally manipulative) charade by inviting Armand in. It’s a moment of acceptance BUT the question of Armand’s truth still lingers( “Are you going to kill me?”). Armand doesn’t answer (I think he honestly doesn’t have an answer). and Louis STILL lets him in (insannnneee). Doesn’t even push the question 😭. Their risky game continues. They’re aware of the game. Seduced by both it and each other.

#2 The Dubai recollection. Why does Louis tell Daniel about it and why does he present it the way he does? Why does Armand allow Louis to tell it at all? It’s not very flattering. They could’ve skipped the sewer entirely and fast forwarded to them talking about Lestat and then to them fucking. If it’s just to set up tensions with the Coven, why include the insinuation that Armand was actually considering killing Louis?

I feel like I know answers to these questions but that’s another post for another day😪.

[milkb0nny]

The Rubber Smell Of Your Hair

...his agony made you forget your hate for him

Pairing: Dean x street racing fem!reader

Summary: You and Dean had shared some sort of relationship in the past, but the ending of your bond was painful and messy. Since then, you haven’t seen him for years, until you witness a horrible accident right before your eyes. And to your demise, the victim were the Winchester brothers.

Note: This is inspired by the last episode of season 1, where a demon crashes its truck into Dean‘s Impala. I love writing comforting angst so so much.

Content: breakup history, platonic Sam x reader, swearing, blood, spn violence, reader being a street racer, injuries, heavy angst, comfort

Word Count: 1,5k

The loud and deep sound of engines roared through the industrial area, the crowd cheered as you slid around the curve to drive onto the empty road leading through a forest. Your wheels flinging your car sideways, you were dancing on the edge of control. You were neck and neck with your best friend, both of you laughing into the night as the race consumed every ounce of your focus.

Your two souls sped through the empty road, your rearview mirror was filled with the aggresive headlights of the car behind you.

Then you saw it.

A flash of shattered headlights. The metallic gleam of twisted steel. Smoke curling into the night sky, thick and acrid. Two other cars which were broken into pieces, lying in the ditch a few hundred meters away.

You immediately turned the hazard warning lights on and hit the break, making sure your best friend would get the message.

“Yo, what are you doing?” your friend’s voice crackled through the comms as he slammed on the brakes, sending his car into a messy halt.

You didn’t answer. You barely registered the words as you skidded to a stop. The wreck was off to the side of the road, half-hidden by shadows, but there was no mistaking the crumpled remains of a black '67 Impala.

Your blood turned to ice.

That was baby.

You were running before you knew what you were doing, gravel crunching beneath your boots as you sprinted toward the wreckage. You didn’t notice the cold, and you didn’t notice the screams of your friend behind you.

Was this a fever dream?

The smell of gasoline and burnt rubber burned your nostrils, mingling with something far more sinister… sulfur. You knew what that meant, and it explained why there was no victim in the other car.

“Dean? Sam?” you called, your voice cracking.

No answer.

You rounded the corner of the wreckage, your stomach twisting at the sight before you. Sam was sprawled near the edge of the road, blood pooling beneath his head. His face was pale, a deep red running down his temple and across his cheek. He was barely breathing.

Dean was slumped against the Impala’s crushed door, his face smeared with blood, his chest heaving with ragged, shallow breaths. His right arm hung limply at his side, his leather jacket torn to shreds.

Your heart clenched. “Oh my God,” you whispered, dropping to your knees beside him.

„Fuck,“ your friend muttered, watching the scene unfold. „I‘ll call 911 and some others over here. We need to get them out of there!“ He yelled in concern, not knowing that you knew them.

„Shit, this can’t be happening,“ your voice trembled as you kneeled down.

Dean’s eyelids fluttered, his lashes sticky with blood. When his gaze focused on you, confusion flickered across his face, quickly replaced by something softer… relief, hope.

“What… are you doing…?” he rasped, his voice barely audible.

Tears blurred your vision. You hadn’t seen him in years, not since the night he broke your heart. But none of that mattered now. No matter what he had done to your fragile heart, he was fighting with life and his brother was in a serious condition.

“Don’t talk… shut up…,” you said, your voice shivering badly as you pressed your hands to the wound on his side. Blood seeped between your fingers, warm and terrifyingly steady.

So much blood.

“What the hell happened?”

“Demons…” Dean groaned, his head rolling to the side. “Ambush. Came outta nowhere.”

You glanced at Sam, panic clawing at your chest. He was unconscious, his breaths shallow and uneven.

Sammy, a man you once had known as one of your best friends.

And he looked like a corpse.

“Dean, I need you to stay awake. Can you do that for me?”

Dean smirked weakly, blood staining his teeth. “Bossy as ever…”

“Fucking shut up,” you choked, your tears falling freely now.

You turned your attention to Sam, your hands shaking as you checked his pulse. It was faint but there. Relief flooded through you, though it was short-lived. They were both in bad shape, and you had no idea how much time you had before the demons came back to finish the job.

The ambulance needed to arrive now.

Your friend helped Dean with his wounds, as you covered Sam‘s cold body with all you had; your sweater, your jacket, your emergency blanket. He needed to stay warm.

But, no one came.

„Shit,“ you muttered, exchanging panicked glances with your friend.

He was also uncertain, and total chaos reigned in him, „Why the fuck is no one coming?“

„Demons,“ you whispered, „Quickly! We‘ll get them to the ER by ourselves.“

There was no time to explain.

Somehow, you managed to haul Sam into his car, his weight almost too much for you to bear. You laid him across the passenger seat, as gently as you could before turning back to Dean. Your friend‘s car only seated two, meaning he would join your vehicle.

“Sammy…” Dean murmured as you crouched beside him, your hands hovering uncertainly over his battered body.

“I lied,” he whispered, his green eyes locking onto yours. “About cheating… I never-”

“Dean,” you cut him off, your voice breaking. “Not now.”

You slid an arm around his waist, as well as your friend, and pushed him to his feet, ignoring his pained groans. Every step toward the car felt like an eternity, but you didn’t stop until he was seated in the passenger seat, slumped against the window.

Dean‘s aura, such a strangely familiar one, pained your heart.

The drive to safety was a blur, your mind racing as fast as the car. Dean drifted in and out of consciousness beside you, his head swinging with every bump in the road.

By the time you reached the ER, parking in the driveway, your hands were trembling so badly you could barely cut the engine.

No, not Sammy, not Dean.

Your friend and you dragged Sam out first, nurses rushing outside to transport him. Illuminating lights, unclear shouts and bustling people surrounded you. You felt so dizzy, so overwhelmed. And when you gazed down on Sam, all you could feel was pain. Sam‘s chest rose and fell in shallow, uneven breaths, but he was alive.

Then you turned to Dean.

His face was pale, the blood loss taking its toll. “Sweetheart,” he murmured, out of reality, as you crouched beside him, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead.

“…Dean?,” you asked, your voice softer now, the anger and fear melting away.

He smirked faintly, his lips stained with blood. “You’re still the best damn driver I’ve ever seen.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped, a wet, broken sound that was more a sob than anything else. “You’re an idiot. A fucking idiot, Dean.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, his eyes fluttering closed.

You leaned closer, ordering some more nurses to drag his weak body inside, to help him, and to patch the brothers up.

His breath hitched as they lifted him, his lips mumbling some agonizing words.

“Stay… please.”

And then, his eyes fell shut, and his body collapsed.

You could only watch how the Winchester brothers were carried inside, your eyes filled with tears, and your chest clenched together. You broke down, crying and sobbing - the worry was consuming you.

Your friend rushed to you, taking you into his arms, pulling you close into his embrace. He noticed you knew those men, and he was aware their condition pained you horribly.

„Come, we‘ll get you something to drink and wait for the doctors to call you,“ he softly said.

…

The minutes stretched, the hours passed, the time slowed down and every more second you lost hope. All you saw were nervous doctors, jumping from room to room, and tense nurses rushing to get more bandages, more painkillers…

Your head was filled with the pictures of the accident, how they were drenched in blood - and as you sat there in the waiting room, sobbing silently, you begged to god to spare their lives.

„Miss,“ a male voice brought you back into reality, “They have woken up.“

Your eyes widened, your heart lifted and your tears broke out, as you let out a long, depriving cry, burying your face into your friends shoulder. Your knees nearly buckled as relief washed over you.

Your steps to their room were shaky, and your face puffy and splotched in paleness and red. You didn’t care how broken you’ve looked, you only wanted to see them alive. Two sets of weak eyes glanced at you, and whereas Sam was surprised to see you, Dean smiled softly.

„Dear god,“ you whispered, rushing over to Sam‘s bed first.

His confusion was evident, but he didn’t say a word. He was more than glad to see you, though there was no strength to welcome you.

You placed your ice cold hand on Sam‘s cheek, smiling at him while tears rolled down your face.

„Look at you, Sammy,“ you sobbed, „…you guys are alive.“ You cried out.

Feeling warmth in his skin comforted you so much, and then, your eyes wandered up to Dean.

The man who broke up with you a few years ago. He told you he cheated, that he slept with someone else, but now you understood. Dean did not cheat, he wanted you far away from demons and ghosts, wanting you to be safe and living.

You turned to Dean. He was propped up on the bed, his green eyes locking onto yours. Despite his injuries, he smirked faintly. You stepped over to his injured body.

On his forehead a deep wound, and his whole body stiff, as if the pain burned him from the inside.

„Dean,“ you exclaimed gently. Tears spilled down your cheeks as you crossed the room, sitting on the edge of his bed.

„Hey there, beautiful,“ he groaned in pain, whincing when you placed your hand softly on his.

He was cocky, even now.

Dean was unbelievable.

„Why didn’t you just… tell me? Why did you lie to me?!“ You asked, your lower lip trembling and your hands shaking terribly. „You hurt me so much.“

His smirk faltered, guilt flickering in his eyes. “I thought I was protecting you. I didn’t want this life to touch you.. I wanted to keep you safe. And I knew you wouldn’t just let me go-„

„So you had to hurt me?“

Dean’s fingers squeezed yours weakly. “I regret it. I’m sorry. For all of it.”

For the first time in years, you let yourself believe him. Let yourself forgive him.

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” he said quietly, his voice rough but sincere. He let out a strained breath. “I thought lying was the only way to keep you safe.”

Your chest tightened. “But you lied to me, Dean. You told me you cheated-” You cut yourself off, your voice breaking.

“I never did,” he interrupted, his eyes meeting yours, full of regret. “I didn’t cheat. I just said that… to get you to walk away.“

His voice grew softer, a raw honesty you hadn’t heard in years. “I never stopped loving you. But I was too scared to let you see how dangerous this life really is. I couldn’t let you become part of it. If today… you had been with us- you would…”

Dean didn’t dare to finish this sentence.

The thought alone was painful.

Dean’s hand tightened around yours, the weight of his regret heavy in his touch. His voice cracked slightly. “I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry for everything. For hurting you the way I did.”

You took a shaky breath, the years of anger and hurt flooding back, but something else too… something warmer.

You leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss against his forehead.

“I hated you for making me feel like I wasn’t enough. But hearing you say that… it means something. I’m so glad you’re breathing…”

Dean’s hand gently cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing away another tear. “You were always enough. You still are. I just… I see how much I messed up.”

You stayed there, by his side, for a long moment, the weight of everything between you finally sinking in.

“I don’t know if I can just forget everything, Dean,” you whispered, your voice soft but steady. “But I can try. We can try. If you’re really ready for that.”

Dean’s eyes softened, and despite the pain, he managed a weak, genuine smile.

And in that moment, with the years of pain between you, you knew that maybe, just maybe, there was a way forward.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m ready.”

Dean smiled, a small but hopeful expression on his blood-streaked face. “'Cause I don’t plan on losing you again.”

You smiled through your tears, feeling something deep inside you begin to heal. It wouldn’t be easy, but it felt like maybe there was a chance for you both after all.

[wellofdean]

got these tags today from prev: #i think it's beautiful bc it didn't set out to be queer#life uh finds a way#it's not the best television ever#like not legit among the greats#but it had some incredible moments

And like... I have made a LOT of posts, at great length saying why I think Dean was always imagined as a queer character, and where the queerness was baked into the DNA of the show from episode one, and which I will not reprise here, but as much as I disagree that the queer glory of Supernatural is something it tripped and fell into by accident somehow, and without everyone involved knowing that queerness was part of what they were making, I do agree with something here: it's beautiful because it was a fucking journey.

Supernatural was not like today's prestige television with a tight 8-10 episodes and a fully planned narrative from day one, it was old-timey TV that arose out of things like Twin Peaks and The X-Files, falling somewhere between a weekly procedural and a serial. It had broad plot arcs sketched out, but the day-to-day grind of writing and making it was driven by characters that took on depth and meaning as it went along; network television long seasons with lots of filler that did nothing to further the serial plot, but let us get to know the characters, who became more and more lovable and real the more time we spent with them, in an organic way.

Maybe my Gen-X is showing here, but there's something beautiful about something that feels open-ended, isn't there? I mean, Supernatural STILL feels open-ended. Like, any moment now patient zero Jensen is going to suit up and tell us more of Dean's story, and we won't know where it's going and it will be fucking GREAT just to spend any time whatsoever with Dean? Television nowadays feels so PLANNED and yeah, there's some great stuff out there, but Supernatural had something special and fucking great that doesn't really exist anymore.

Like, what does it mean "one of the best" or "legit among the greats"? Supernatural was 15 years of storytelling, and for all the fucking kvetching on this, the Supernatural website, about its vagaries, it was pretty consistently well written. Jensen Ackles is a legit great actor who is seriously underrated for his sheer fucking craft, and as much as it is undeniable that Supernatural has some genuinely silly episodes, taken as a whole, when all of it is in your mind, the themes and threads in it are unironically epic in scope, and it has legitimately interesting things to say about those themes. AND it has incredible moments. AND the most devastaingly romantic love story I can think of.

Like, fellas, it's one of the best TO ME. It's legit among MY greats, and I would argue it deserves a place up there.

I got this one hobby horse, and god knows I'm gonna saddle up and ride it: Supernatural was a legitimately good show and it was queer as hell in its very bones.

[lesbianalanwake]

Severance S2E2:

--holy shit. I see why the season is 10 episodes instead of 9. two episodes to resolve the S1 finale and wind up to the pitch. there was so much legwork in this episode, and so much tension that I could barely sit still.

--I hope they paid Milchick a big overtime bonus in addition to his new salary!!! man did all that in 48 hours!!!

--Mark and Devon.... Mark being in denial about the possibility that Mark S could have been talking about Gemma, when we later see that it's been weighing on him heavily and he needed to talk to Cobel to confront it. it's such a thin, thin hope.... if he believes in the possibility that Gemma is alive, and it turns out that she is not, it would destroy him completely, and he's already come so close to destroying himself while grieving the first time. but Devon! Devon is so sharp! she knows her brother, and she glimpsed a younger, lighter version of her brother that she hasn't seen in a long time, and she clocked his tone and body language and everything about the situation correctly! and she can't live with the unknown that Gemma could be alive, because she misses her sister-in-law and misses who her brother used to be! she can't stop thinking about it while Mark is doing everything in his power to not think about it! aaaaah!

--Cobel bookending this episode by being as unhinged and mysterious as ever. we don't even know if she accepted the advisory council position! what is she up to! the final scene is so fucking good because I was thinking "I bet she's thinking about hitting Mark with her car," and then she screams like a bat out of hell and almost does just that LMAO. and she's still telling him to quit, even though Lumon is doing something significant with Gemma and "Cold Harbor," enough that they need Mark back to finish it, and Cobel knows what it is and wants something from it, and now Mark knows for sure that Gemma is alive because he needed to look Cobel in the eye and ask. I love their weird fucking dynamic. she cares about him (and maybe Gemma?) in her own unhinged way?? and his feelings were HURT that she lied to him because he went straight for the only thing that could maybe hurt her feelings a little bit in turn ("I ate your shitty fucking cookies").

--makes me hope that Cobel gets a "villain turned weird ally" arc, and that Milchick is right behind her, because he's already getting a taste of how thankless the severed floor manager position is, getting no guidance beyond "let Kier guide your heart" and having to defend the feat he managed to pull together in 48 hours.

--which brings me to: HELENA. HELENAAA. class traitor arc INCOMING. the "behind the scenes" bit reinforced this too: she is living in a gilded cage (the shot of her on the top floor with the windows acting as bars!) and seeing that her innie of all people gets affection and respect in a way that she never has, and she is enthralled. you can do it baby! I hope you kill your dad!

- I'm glad they clarified that the correct term for complex innie/outie romantic dynamics is "throuple" because Mark/Helly is finally compelling. by itself = eh. as part of Helena's development and possibly some kind of villainous fixation that can't possibly end well no matter how you slice it because Mark/Mark S is also going through a throuple thing with his dead wife who is actually alive, and don't think I've forgotten whatever thing that Helena and Milchick had going on in S1 = now we're cooking with gas. not to mention Burt spying on Irving! throuples for days.

--tentatively believing that it really is Helena down there, and they sent her to play the part of Helly R to keep Mark complacent so that Cold Harbor gets finished, because Helly is too much of an unpredictable wild card but Helena is controllable (for now!). which would add another juicy flavor to Mark/Helly. they really did it, they really made the ship pop.

--it is so, so compelling how innies/outies are opposites. Helly is bold and rebellious, Helena is calm and subservient. Mark S is sweet and mild-mannered, Mark is cold and sarcastic. Dylan G is confident and driven, Dylan George is nervous and hesitant. Irving B is obedient and proper, Irving Bailiff is defiant and unconventional. and yet! bits of the other shine through, and we see it more and more, and they're slowly but surely on a collision course.

--the Good Doors interviewer says "you remind me of myself" and looks like Dylan, and I love this show because I can't tell if it's to continue the visual motif of doubling/reflections and show a "what could have been" path for Dylan, or if it's because there is truly something FUCKED going on across this whole town. or both.

--Lumon is in such a precarious position. they're a major global corporation, and they have politicians in their pocket, but there is also a lot of hostility and mistrust from the general public, enough to make a severed employee unhireable. (which further entraps them..... Dylan. 😭) Lumon has to walk a fine line to continue, uh, whatever it is they're doing, without turning the public against them in a way that they couldn't recover from, hence the placating attempts at damage control. but all it would take would be a sufficiently strong spark to light that powder keg.

--because like, man.... I hope Helena and Cobel and Milchick all get their "fuck you Lumon" arc. god. so many threads poised to unravel completely out of control with the right push because that line that Lumon is walking is THIN.