#but i love that he’s using his first fuck in regards to him losing Julia to Tonny

[thoreau-up]

They let my man say fuck

[moldisgoodforyou]

never gonna measure up (i)

wordcount: 2.1k - I’m splitting these up so they’re not crazy long 

warnings: cursing, insecurity (?) 

____

“Hey, you’re flying back with me, right?” Sophie murmured, trying not to disturb Rafe too much if he was asleep.

The two were cuddled up in his bed on their last full day of break before going back to school - both of them had agreed to get back before the annual back-to-school Delt senior party for the spring semester.

New Year’s Eve had came and went without incident, though Sophie tried to ignore the small twist in her stomach upon hearing after the fact that one of their high school classmates had rented out a bar for them and their friends on the mainland - drinks included and all. (Rafe had tried to play it off, saying he pitched in for their share so she wouldn’t stress, but an extra-drunk classmate let it spill halfway through the night.)

She felt most at ease when it was just the two of them together, usually Rafe lying on top of her with eyes shut as she combed her fingers through his hair. Since the Christmas party, they’d hung out almost every day. Sophie hadn’t stopped thinking about what she told Rafe on that night, but he had just chalked it up to a combination of her overthinking and being tipsy. Besides, he figured she hadn’t brought it up to him since then, so it was fine. Right?

“Uh...no, I just got the one-way flight to go with you. You can come back with me if you’d like.” Rafe shifted onto his side to look at her, a crooked elbow propping up his head.

She furrowed her brow. “But you left your car in Columbus. How are you getting back?”

He shrugged. “My dad’s plane?”

Sophie blinked. “Your dad has a plane?”  

“Yeah, the airstrip’s just twenty minutes up the island.”

“Right.” She rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. He frowned and moved to hover over her, forearms on either side of her head. “Hey. It’s not a big deal, but I wanted to offer it up.”

She laughed at his proximity and lifted her head slightly to bump her nose against his. “It’s okay, I already have the return flight. Think it’s too late to cancel.”  

“Your funeral.” He grinned and kissed along her jaw and down her neck lazily, pushing up the hem of her sweatshirt with his hands. She squirmed a little but didn’t let out even a tiny moan, far too distracted by the fact that Rafe had a fucking private plane to concentrate on where his lips and hands were going. He teased his thumb across her hip, pleased when she pressed into him a little in response, but frowned when he noticed her staring off into space.

“Soph.”

“Huh?” She glanced down at him, cheeks going red.

He laughed and nipped gently at her collarbone. “What’s on your mind, space cadet?”

She made a show of glancing at her watch and frowned. “I have to go. Mom’s going to kill me if I’m not home for the last family dinner before going back.” He  pulled away with a small frown to match and gave her a sweet kiss. “Alright. Can I take you to the airport tomorrow?”

Sophie shook her head. “My dad’s going to, but I have an early flight and I’ll see you tomorrow night for the party. Deal?” She moved to get up, but Rafe slipped his arm around her waist, pinning her in place. She laughed, pushing at him. “Rafe, seriously.”

“I was kind of hoping we could spend our last night here together...you know, before we have to go back to separate beds and roommates...” He trailed off, smirking at the insinuation. She rolled her eyes but grinned. “If I can sneak out tonight, I’ll climb the tree to get in your room. But you have to get me back to my house by five am, I leave for my flight at six thirty.”  

“I hate when you do that, you’re gonna fall and hurt yourself. Just come to the door like a normal person.” He slipped his fingers up her sweatshirt again, trailing them up her spine.

She scowled, slightly ticklish but not wanting to show it. “And park my brother’s shitty old car next to your dad’s Range Rover? No thanks.”

“Who cares? No one’s gonna see it.”

Sophie was grateful for her phone ringing again with her annoyed mother on the other line to interrupt their conversation. “Can you drive me home?”

“Yeah, of course.” He hopped up and stuffed his feet into sneakers as she hurriedly answered and explained to her mom that actually, Rafe was driving her home right now and she’d be back soon. He shot her a knowing grin and she put her a finger to her lips as she listened to her mom’s annoyed huff, heading downstairs with him.

Once she walked up the drive to her house, waving goodbye to Rafe over her shoulder, she couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. No one’s gonna see it. Like he would be embarrassed if someone did see the car in broad daylight, knowing it was hers. Or was she just overthinking it?

__

Later that night, she called him, murmuring into the phone. “Hi. I can’t come over.”

“Huh? Why not, your mom’s trapping you in? Wait, why are you whispering?” He matched her tone with his last sentence.

She laughed softly. “No, but it’s eleven thirty and I’m still not finished packing. My parents are asleep. But I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Hmmm...what are the odds you can stay quiet?” He smirked and she could practically hear it through the phone.

“Huh? I’m whispering right now.”

“No, if I came over?”

“I don’t understand.”

He laughed. “If I came over, and we happened to just have sex...”

She cringed, the flirting not nearly as sexy once he had to explain it. “My mom would kill me, Rafe, she thinks I’m still a virgin. I still remember when I was fourteen and had my first boyfriend, she told me I couldn’t have sex until I was responsible enough for a child.”

“Jesus.” He laughed. “I don’t think my dad ever gave me the sex talk. Just put a box of condoms on my bed one day and called it good.”

“Lovely. That sounds more enjoyable than my experience.”

“Hm. Yes and no. So you’re serious, I can’t come over?”

She hummed into the phone. “Not unless you’re an expert at packing. I swear I didn’t bring this much stuff home, I don’t know what to do with all of it.”

“Dunno. I’ll see you tomorrow night, will you pack that black dress? It has all the strappy things and it’s kinda drapey in the back.” There was rustling and the jingling of his keys in the background.

“You got it. Hey, Rafe?”  

“Yeah?”

“I, um.” She paused. “I’m sorry you can’t stay over for the night. I did want to spend more time with just us, you know?”

“Hey, I know, don’t stress about it. I’ll see you soon enough.” With that he hung up, leaving Sophie just a little more reassured. What she didn’t know was that he was already in his car, making his way over to her house anyways. It only took ten or so minutes for him to park his car at the end of her street and walk up, trying his best to be subtle about it. He cursed quietly when her back door creaked open, that Sophie had briefly mentioned was always unlocked -  then stopped right in his tracks.

Her dad was in the kitchen in sweats and a t-shirt, retrieving a bottle of water from the fridge. “Rafe?”

“Mr. Flint! Uh...hey!” He kept his voice quiet, unsure if he’d wake the rest of the house.

“It’s Jeff, kiddo. What are you doing here?” He glanced over Rafe’s attire, with his hood up and feet shoved into untied Nikes.

“Right, Jeff, sorry about that. I...uh...Sophie, y’know...” He fumbled for an excuse but couldn’t come up with a single one, trailing off into embarrassed silence.

“Sophie’s sleeping, upstairs. Alone.” He added pointedly, but kept a good-natured smile with Rafe. “Unless there’s something I don’t know?”

Rafe shook his head quickly. “No sir, nothing at all. I’m just gonna head out, actually, forgot why I came over. My bad.”

“Right.” Her dad regarded Rafe with a mixed look of confusion and also slight recognition, but seemed as if he didn’t want to think about why Rafe was sneaking over so late. “Have a good night, Rafe.”

“Yes sir, you too!” He couldn’t get out of there fast enough, cursing under his breath as he made the walk of shame back to his car. Once he quietly closed the driver’s door, he paused, contemplating texting Sophie and trying again to see if she’d help him sneak in - then reconsidered. Her dad seemed to like him just enough, and actually seemed interested when Rafe told him about his film minor - something his dad had just dismissed as a waste of time. He didn’t want to trade one extra night with Sophie for losing her dad’s trust.

_

Still embarrassed about being caught, Rafe didn’t reach out to Sophie all next day except to text her and confirm that she had landed safely, then to let her know that he was on his way. The Snapchat she received from him, with the view out the window and then a glimpse of the inside of the plane, made her want to die just a little. She got it when she was getting lunch with her roommates Julia and Allie later that day, and made a clear face of disdain upon opening it. She hadn’t mentioned Rafe once in the three hours they’d been back together, and the girls knew something was up.

Julia raised her eyebrows. “Trouble in paradise?”

“Huh?” Sophie asked, eyes still trained on her phone. Allie leaned over to look at the screen and did a double take. “Wait, is that a private plane?”

“Yeah.” Sophie paused and set the phone on the table to show Julia. “Unfortunately.”

“I thought you knew he was rich, why is this a bad thing? Think of all the vacations he could take you on.” Julia questioned.

“Think of all the vacations I can’t take him on.” Sophie replied, slumping back in her seat. “Hey Rafe, I know you took me to, I don’t know, the Bahamas, but I can take you on a five and a half hour road trip to Chicago to stay in a basic hotel instead of the Ritz Carlton you’re used to.” She dropped the facetious tone, wrinkling her nose. “I’m never gonna measure up.”

Allie frowned. “Sophie, I’m sure that doesn’t matter to him.”

“I don’t know.” She crossed her arms, thinking again about his off-handed comment about the car. No one’s gonna see it.

“Did he bring it up or something?” Julia asked, cocking her head.

“No, but. I met his dad and he mentioned some girl, Lexie something? They were in some group project together this semester and his dad tried to set them up. He thought I was her when I went to their Christmas party.”

“It’s not Lexie Rhodes, is it?” Allie was a marketing major too, and often had classes overlapping with Rafe.

“Wait, you know her? Oh god, how bad is it? Not that I think he’s cheating, he’d never -”

“Sophie, stop.” Allie grabbed her arm to cut her off. “She’s had a steady boyfriend since freshman year. And you know he wouldn’t do that to you.”

She sighed, a little in relief and more in frustration. “I know. That’s the problem.”

“...The problem is that he won’t cheat on you? Do you hear yourself?” Julia cocked her head and kicked Sophie’s shin under the table.

“Ow, hey!” Sophie scowled. “I know, I sound ridiculous. I can’t explain it. It’s all moving so fast and he got me the nicest present ever for Christmas, I almost cried in front of him and then I went home and cried more.”

“Crying in front of a boy? Actually showing your feelings? Who are you and what have you done with our Sophie?” Allie teased, poking Sophie’s arm.

“Look, you don’t want to break up with him, right?” Julia asked.

“No, no, of course not.” Sophie shook her head quickly.  

“Okay. So you just need to tell him how you’re feeling, be upfront. He doesn’t care if you have money or not, that boy practically worships the ground you walk on.” Julia told her, and Allie nodded in agreement. “He does.”

“Hardly.” Sophie stirred her straw in her drink, trying to distract herself. “I’m just going to give myself time, I didn’t stress about this when we were both at school. I’ll chill out, promise.”

“Are you promising us or yourself?” Allie raised her eyebrows.

“Good question.”

[toenialls]

hi ! here’s a fic rec i made bc what better time to read fics than a quarantine. i’ve ordered them below from longest to shortest. :) 

these are all the fics i’ve read/re-read this quarantine

hiding place by alivingfire  @alivingfire (365k)

louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. enter harry styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. with one fateful meeting in a x factor bathroom, louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.

from the x factor house to madison square garden, from the fountain studios stage to stadiums across the world, louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace louis as the center of his universe. meanwhile, harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. all he has to do now is convince louis to give them a chance.

or, the canon compliant harry and louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.

relief next to me  by dolce_piccante @haydolce (333k)

au- what happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific craigslist post? fate, friendship, food, and maybe more. 

young & beautiful by velvetoscar @mizzwilde (227k)

louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name zayn malik means something, niall horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and harry styles, only son o a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes 

now in a minute by thealmightyavocado @avocadolouie​ (150k)

13 feels like yesterday for many people, but for louis it actually was.more than anything in the world, louis tomlinson dreams of growing up. simply skipping over all the awkward embarrassing years of teenage existence and getting on with life, real life.

so when thirteen-year-old louis wakes up in the body of his thirty-year-old self, he expected his adult life to be picture perfect. and maybe it is. he has it all…or so it seems. 

except his favorite person and lifelong best mate, harry styles, is totally missing from the equation and louis doesn’t understand why. he has a lot of catching up to do and as adult life turns out to be more than what he bargained for, louis can’t help wondering why a life that seemed so perfect, feel so empty.

or, the 13 going on 30 au that should have been done years ago.

walk that mile by purpledaisy (149k)

harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “i wanted to get the most out of this trip so i planned it carefully.” his voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “so far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything i’ve tried to do.”

"sticky fingers?“ louis repeats. offended. “are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the dotty diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

"polk-a-dot drive in,“ harry spits before getting out of the car. he slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and louis rolls his eyes.

or, a route 66 au where falling in love was never part of the plan.

own the scars by crinkle-eyed-boo @crinkle-eyed-boo​ (144k)

“but i don’t belong here,” louis insists.

"why do you say that?“ james asks.

"these people are all drug addicts and alcoholics,” louis shrugs. something sparks in james’ eyes. “and you’re not?”

louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friends, for the life he’s supposed to want. after an accident that nearly costs him his life, louis’ parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to make his own decisions. on the long and difficult road to recovery, louis must confront the truths he;s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

wear it like a crown by zarah5 @zarahdetand​ (141k)

au- as a part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in buckingham palace, louis expects prince harry to be a lot of things –  most notable a royally spoilt brat. never mind that the very same prince harry used to star in quite a number of louis’ teenage fantasies.

unbelievers by isthatyoularry @isthatyoularry​ (136k)

it’s louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. however, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifying uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life that much worse. mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

or, the one where louis and harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything

empty skies by green_feelings (134k)

for three years, harry has been running from his past. now, he is moving to london and pledges to fulfill only his dream – making it big in the music industry. not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. as is his past catching up to him.

louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there meant a lo to hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. he’s still happy. maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

featuring perrie as harry’s adorable flatmate, niall as his manager, and liam and zayn as louis’ bandmates.

love is a rebellious bird by 100precentsassy @100percentsassy​ gloria_andrews @gloriaandrews​ (134k)

au. in which the boys still make music. louis is the concertmaster of the london symphony orchestra, harry is the new! and exciting! interim conductor / ex-cello prodigy who “has made mozart cool again” according to esquire magazine (louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and niall is the best. zayn and liam are around too.

don’t hum Bolero

wild love by  purpledaisy (130k)

“good,” julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “now, i only have one more question before you can go. what are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?“

 "we said we’d stay friends no matter what,” harry says smoothly his chin lifting in defense.

"that was our one thing going into it,“ louis agrees. “stay friends no matter what.”

julia raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow, “that’s all fine and good. but i hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. if one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. i’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, i’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

or, two friends try to date each other for forty days. it’s supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated

got the sunshine on my shoulders by hattalove @hattalove​ (124k)

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist, he didn’t have much regard for what he left behind– a life, a family, a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want. he’s rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he’s forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past– and louis, who’s spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

or, au based on the movie sweet home alabama.

california sold by isthatyoularry (123k)

notoriously closeted boyband member harry styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile louis, as his best friend, is back home in manchester living the typical life of a 24 year old. when harry needs louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

or, a fake-relationship au between two lifelong best friends.

the finish line (is a good place for us to start) by loadedgunn @loaded-gunn (122k)

louis tomlinson, one-time formula i world champion, is looking forward to the 2013 season, he’s got zayn in his garage and liam in his ear, he’s got cowell racing backing him despite former indiscretions, he’s got experience and the best race car out there. not to mention he’s the only racer they have, after oliver dropped out late last year.

it hasn’t occured to him that oliver would have to be replaced by february. that is, until he finds himself at a party celebrating harry styles leaving ferarri for cowell. harry hotshot styles, who broke a record last year and is probably looking to make a big splash. harry styles, who is talented and somewhat intimidating. harry styles, who left ferarri for reasons unknown and seems kind of lonely and harmless in person. lonely, harmless, hot as fuck. whatever.

the first thing louis does is take him under his wing. from there it’s nine months of slow-burning romance, the past catching up to them, turning into the human puppy pile that is ot5 and a lot of feelings until, of course, reaching the finish line.  

tired tired sea by mediawhore @mediawhorefics​ (113k)

as a b&b owner on the most remote of all the british isles, louis tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sol companions. until one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

here in the afterglow by fondleeds @fondleeds​ (88k)

"if you hadn’t noticed, i don’t have many friends,” louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing his way into his throat.

harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes louis’ stomach shake. “i’ll be your friend.”

or, 1970’s au. in a tiny town in idaho, louis’ life changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

chasing empty spaces by domesticharry @domestic-harry​ (79k)

the year is 1934 and harry styles was to inherit the largest tobacco firm in the south. his parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. the problem was, harry hadn’t realized that he didn’t want nay part of the future until he met a mechanic named, louis tomlinson.

don’t want shelter by kingsofeverything @kingsofeverything​ (76k)

louis and harry have known each other all their lives. friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. except for that one time ten years ago...

when hurricane nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.

during the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other

money moves by mmaree @zqua1d​ (74k)

"i’ll cut straight to the chase,“ liam announces. he leans forward, and zayn is met with steely eyes and steepled fingers. "i’m willing to offer you fifty grand if you’ll enter into a small…partnership with me. this would be in addition to your salary at payne innovations, of course. think of it as a bonus.”

zayn narrow his eyes. “what kind of partnership?”

"a fake engagement.“

"oh,” zayn says, relived it’s nothing illegal. “wait–what?”

“a fake engagement,” his boss repeats slowly, as if he’s convinced zayn’s comprehension skills are significantly lacking. “for six months. maybe less if i can pull it off sooner but don’t worry– you’ll be paid the full sum regardless of how long it takes.”

zayn’s suspicious, and he doesn’t even know why. there’s nothing to be suspicious of because, clearly, liam’s lost the plot. zayn’s having a conversation with a complete nutter. there’s no other reasonable explanation.

he clears his throat, searches liam’s eyes for a sign he’s taking the piss. “how long what takes?”

a smile plays at liam’s lips. “for me to be hired as the cto at titan technologies.”

to the ends of the earth by stylinsoncity @aliensingucci​ (68k)

during a yearlong hiatus, louis visits harry at his cabin in idaho, where long-buried feelings ignite like the fire keeping them warm.

lend me your hand by quickedween (63k)

society has long since decided that the soulmarks everyone is born with are entirely unfashionable. they’re just another way for people of a lower class to scam their way into marrying above their station.

lord louis tomlinson viscount loring, on the other hand, has always believed that he will find his soulmate one day. despite preparing for a match his whole life, he is entirely unprepared for the arrival of gemma styles’ younger brother.

harry styles has been travelling and away from society for over a year. coming back, he intends to spend time with his sister, and slowly reacquaint himself with life in town. he doesn’t need to wait around for a soulmark to determine how his life will play out.

small doses (loving you it’s explosive) by quickedween (40k)

louis tomlinson finds himself at vitality fitness to try and turn his life around after having left his cheating boyfriends of four years. the gym’s owner, liam, quickly becomes a good friend but his right hand man is rude and dismissive from the get-go.

louis and harry continue to clash all while harry is trying to move his way up the ranks in manchester’s amateur boxing circuit, but they can’t seem to stay away from each other.

learning to eat by photo41 (28k)

celebrity chef louis tomlinson has a problem, he’s opening his first restaurant in 9 week . and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s “standoffish” and “rude” and “quick to temper” . whatever. he ends u saddled with an annoying, happy-go-lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. his tv presenter and pop star friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting julia child?!

these roads we stumble down  by onewasturning @onewasturning​ (18k)

he’s completely drenched, not one milimetre of him covered in rain, and the old sheepskin cover over the seat is probably going to stink afterwards from the damp. but even with what seems to be a constant tremor shaking his body, brown hair plastered to his forehead, and a blue tinge to his skin, he’s still probably the most gorgeous person that harry has ever seen.

or, harry picks up a hitchhiker in oxford, and it’s a long ride to glasgow.

[aesthetic-uwus]

Movies/tvshow recommendations

1. Scott pilgrim (2010)

As bass guitarist for a garage‑rock band, Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) has never had trouble getting a girlfriend; usually, the problem is getting rid of them. As Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) skates into his heart

2. Growing op (2008)

A teenager tries to live a normal life while his parents run an operation growing weed out of their home

3. 10 things I hate about you (1999)

Kat Stratford (Julia Stiles) is beautiful, smart and quite abrasive to most of her fellow teens, meaning that she doesn't attract many boys. Unfortunately for her younger sister, Bianca (Larisa Oleynik), house rules say that she can't date until Kat has a boyfriend

4. Juno (2007)

When precocious teen Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) becomes pregnant, she chooses a failed rock star and his wife (Jennifer Garner) to adopt her unborn child. Complications occur

5. Easy A (2010)

Prompted by her popular best friend to spill details of her boring weekend, Olive (Emma Stone), a clean‑cut teen, decides to spice things up by telling a little lie about losing her virginity. When the high‑school busybody (Amanda Bynes) overhears the conversation...

6. Warehouse 13 (2009-2014)

Plot. The series follows U.S. Secret Service Agents Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly) and Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock) when they are assigned to the secretive Warehouse 13 for supernatural artifacts. It is located in a barren landscape in South Dakota, and they initially regard the assignment as punishment.

7. ferris buellers day off (1986)

Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) has an uncanny skill at cutting classes and getting away with it. Intending to make one last duck‑out before graduation, Ferris calls in sick, "borrows" a Ferrari, and embarks on a one‑day journey through the streets of Chicago.

8. Perks of being a wallflower (2012)

Socially awkward teen Charlie (Logan Lerman) is a wallflower, always watching life from the sidelines, until two charismatic students become his mentors. Free‑spirited Sam (Emma Watson) and her stepbrother Patrick (Ezra Miller) while overcoming the problem from his past

9. Sex education (2019-?)

Socially awkward high school student Otis may not have much experience in the lovemaking department, but he gets good guidance on the topic in his personal sex ed course -- living with mom Jean, who is a sex therapist. Being surrounded by manuals, videos and tediously open conversations about sex

10. Anne with an E (2017-?)

In the late 19th century, brother and sister Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert, both past their prime, decide to take on an orphan boy to help out around their ancestral farm of Green Gables, on the outskirts of the town of Avonlea, on Prince Edward Island.

11. Santa Clarita diet (2017-2019)

Joel and Sheila Hammond are everyday suburban real estate agents in Santa Clarita, California. The couple face a series of obstacles when Sheila undergoes a metamorphosis, becomes undead and starts craving human flesh.

12. Atypical (2017-?)

This heartfelt comedy follows Sam, a teenager on the autism spectrum, who has decided he is ready for romance. In order to start dating -- and hopefully find love -- Sam will need to be more independent, which also sends his mother (Jennifer Jason Leigh) on her own life-changing path.

13. That 70s show (1998-2006)

A comedy revolving around a group of teenage friends, their mishaps, and their coming of age, set in 1970s Wisconsin. Eric Forman is a typical high school student growing up in Wisconsin in 1976 with his family and his friends. ... The head of the group is Eric Forman who lives under the authority of parents Red and Kitty.

14. Tuca and Bertie (2019)

Premise. Tuca & Bertie follows "the friendship between two 30-year-old bird-women who live in the same apartment building, Tuca, a cocky, care-free toucan, and Bertie, an anxious, daydreaming songbird."

15. The end of the fucking world (2017-2019?)

James (Alex Lawther), a 17-year-old who believes himself to be a psychopath, and Alyssa (Jessica Barden), a rebellious classmate who sees in James a chance to escape from her tumultuous home life. ... 

16 Derry girls (2018-?)

Derry Girls is a Northern Irish sitcom created by Lisa McGee. Set in 1990s Derry, Northern Ireland the show follows five teens as they live through political conflict while going through the challenges of being teenagers.

17. Grease (1978)

Plot. In the summer of 1958, local boy Danny Zuko and vacationing Sandy Olsson meet at the beach and fall in love. When the summer comes to an end, Sandy—who is going back to Australia—frets that they may never meet again, but Danny tells her that their love is "only the beginning"

18. Love simon (2018)

Everyone deserves a great love story, but for 17‑year‑old Simon Spier, it's a little more complicated. He hasn't told his family or friends that he's gay, and he doesn't know the identity of the anonymous classmate that he's fallen for online. Resolving both issues proves hilarious, terrifying

19. Legally blond (2001)

Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) has it all. She wants nothing more than to be Mrs. Warner Huntington III. But there is one thing stopping him (Matthew Davis) from proposing: She is too blond. Elle rallies all of her resources and gets into Harvard, determined to win

20. Legally blonde 2 (2003)

Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) journeys to Washington, D.C., to have her say about animal rights, but is ignored by every politician she encounters and quickly learns that the White House can be even tougher to navigate than the Ivy League

21. shameless us (2011-?)

Shameless is the story of a family of six kids and their drunk and selfish father. The eldest daughter Fiona has to raise the rest of the family on her own. They need to steal food and steal money to live while their father takes everything and offers nothing. Meet the fabulously dysfunctional Gallagher family.

22. Dead like me (2003)

Georgia Lass is aloof and emotionally distant from her family and shies away from her life. After dropping out of college, she takes a temp job through Happy Time Temporary Services. During her lunch break on her first day, she is hit and killed by a toilet seat falling from the deorbiting Mir space station.

23. Daria (1997-2002)

A smart and cynical girl goes through teenage life as a proud outsider in a world of mainly idiotic adolescents and condescending adults. Daria Morgendorffer is an intelligent, unpopular, and quite sarcastic teenager tolerating life among the idiots at Lawndale High.

24. IT (2017)

Seven young outcasts in Derry, Maine, are about to face their worst nightmare ‑‑ an ancient, shape‑shifting evil that emerges from the sewer every 27 years to prey on the town's children. Banding together over the course of one horrifying summer

25. IT chapter 2 (2019)

Defeated by members of the Losers' Club, the evil clown Pennywise returns 27 years later to terrorize the town of Derry, Maine, once again. Now adults, the childhood friends have long since gone their separate ways. But then people start disappearing....

26. Stranger things (2016-?)

A young boy, Will Byers, goes missing near a top-secret government laboratory. On the same night, a strange young girl appears at a diner in the town. ... A love letter to the '80s classics that captivated a generation, 'Stranger things' is set in 1983 Indiana, where a young boy vanishes into thin air.

27. Ginger snaps (2000)

The story of two outcast sisters, Ginger (Katharine Isabelle) and Brigitte (Emily Perkins), in the mindless suburban town of Bailey Downs. On the night of Ginger's first period, she is savagely attacked by a wild creature. Ginger's wounds miraculously heal 

28. Arrietty (2010)

Arrietty, a tiny teenager, lives with her parents in the recesses of a suburban home, unbeknown to the homeowner and housekeeper. Like others of her kind, Arrietty remains hidden from her human hosts, but occasionally ventures forth 

29. F is for family (2015-?)

Set in the 1970s, this animated raunchy comedy is inspired by the life of stand-up comic Bill Burr, who is a co-creator and executive producer of the series. Burr also voices the character of Frank Murphy, a short-tempered veteran who lives in the suburbs with his wife, Sue (Laura Dern) and their three children

[rileychester]

I have been thinking a lot about what will happen when Smurf actually dies.

J, Craig, and Deran will probably be fine in regards that they can function pretty normally in society. J will probably go off and start his own crime empire, Deran has his bar and Adrian, and Craig might even go straight-ish and settle down with Renn and their son. They all have something to look forward with their futures.

But Pope is another story entirely.

Not only is Pope mentally ill, he’s been hella fucked up by Smurf’s toxic abuse all these years. And all the vile things she’s made him do like being her personal hitman. He has violently tendencies, he’s been though several different hells with all he’s gone through growing up, being in prison with abuse from the guards and prisoners, losing several people he loves, and his mental state seems to be barely holding it together. He always seems to be on the verge of taking someone out or taking himself out.

Pope has always been under Smurf’s thumb, probably because he’s her first born and because he reminds her a lot of his father. (Who I’m honestly starting to think she genuinely cared for Colin instead of just using him like an employee like with the other fathers) Pope’s is Smurf first pancake and she has annihilated him with her particular parenting style. He’s her toy that she has damaged beyond repair.

There aren’t really many who seems to be able to really get Pope, accept him, help him, and be there to actually support him instead of using him. To keep him calm and get through all the madness swirling around and inside of him.

It seems to be a short list, Julia and Baz, who are both dead, in a way thanks to Smurf. Deran and Craig love and care for Pope, but they have their own shit to deal with and I think in some ways they don’t know how to deal with Pope. Though I do think they do try, especially Craig.

Pope is a violent felon who can’t hold down a regular job. (I honestly think if it came down to starving or getting a real job if crime wasn’t an option anymore, Craig, Deran, and J could do that) But Pope is way too damaged and he has a record and is mentally ill. Like Deran said earlier in the season, no one is gonna hire him, either Pope will attack people or scare them away with his behavior.

Pope has Smurf controlling him since birth, as much as he hates her, he still needs his mother. And I think he does still love her, even after all she’s done. She is on top of him taking his meds, taking care of himself, eating properly, getting him to rest, making sure he doesn’t get into too much trouble when his demons take over. And in a way she gives him purpose and direction, even if it’s for evil reasons. 

I don’t think he knows how to be on his own without her. To take care of himself and care for himself because she thought him to hate himself and that he was good for nothing but to be her good little soldier. How he doesn’t know how to live with himself after all the things he has done, that she made him do. And when she’s gone, he will just be trapped alone with himself. And I don’t think that is a fate that he will know how to deal with.

[saltyfilmmajor]

This is that "came for thirst, stayed for SFM" anon. I was reading through your character breakdown in RN/Fallout and had a few thoughts. W/ regards to Ethan, you said "And he has remained able to keep a steady head on him, unwilling to sacrifice the needs of one over the needs of the many." As an audience, we've seen this development occur throughout the films. Compare him in MI:2 to any subsequent film and I think his experience with Nyah and sending her in to spy... 1/5

(2/5) even knowing the risks, to then having Nyah be the pawn used against him to give up the Chimera virus (before she injects herself) is the real beginning of Ethan's "need to protect the individual first" being shown. Compare that to the first film, where his motivations are all about clearing his name and finding the real mole. Even when his mom and uncle are in jeopardy, Ethan continues on his path instead of turning himself in to save them. With each film, he is shown to prioritize...

(3/5) his chosen family more and more. Throughout the series, we have actually seen Ethan prioritize his people over the masses, allowing dangerous villains to get away with things in order to protect individuals. Take GP, where he allows the original nuclear launch codes to be given to Cobalt in order to save the Russian scientist, knowing that if they failed, a much larger number of people would be injured by a nuclear bomb. With each direct threat...

(4/5) Ethan seems to shift to thinking about the masses on a more abstract level in order to protect the immediate life in front of him. He then has to "clean up" the messes that occur in order to save the world, because he would rather save the immediate life if he thinks he has time to stop the big kill. I'd be curious how Ethan would handle the trolley problem, since we never see him have to pick between an individual or the masses when life was on the line at the same time...

(5/5) Not even with Julia did this happen. I'm curious about your thoughts on this progression. BTW, your blog is my favorite guilty pleasure and your Tomrst pics are lit. :)

Hi Mysterious Anon! I’m so glad you like my blog!!!! And i love FUELING DISCUSSION ON MY FAVORITE SPY BOI.  THANKS FOR REACHING OUT WITH THIS I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LOVE TALKING ABOUT ETHAN HUNT AS A CHARACTER.

Anyway, I guess my thoughts on it boil down to Ethan experiencing rather traumatic experiences and in the first movie it is about clearing his name and also a little bit of vengeance. He just lost his whole team and Jack his best friend and roommate.

His progression to prioritizing his teammates I think stems from what has happened with Lindsay and Julia, and essentially everyone he has cared for he has watched die. So when we see Ethan do, quite frankly reckless shit, to save his loved ones it doesn’t feel out of character. Ethan’s is this guy who started cocky and a little immature but a good agent. Pretty content to be working for the government.

Mi1 and 2 function, as you said, as his progression. He is still growing up. In Mi2, in the beginning, we even see Ethan avoiding the IMF. MI1 is his origin story essentially, because, after that, he never places his full trust in the government, only his friends and family.

Ethan’s found family is what keeps him steady, it keeps him afloat and if he lost them, at this point, he’d have nothing left to lose. And I’d highly doubt he’d keep working for the IMF if that were to happen (I hope nothing like that does happen, I love all these characters.) I think he would become a vigilante because he still does want to protect people.

But his friends, those close to him, they are a tangible presence in his life contrast to the masses, who never know about what he does to help save them.

Contrast the first movie to the third movie, where Ethan kinda just is “eh” about his actual family. To where Ethan jumps off a building to get the rabbit’s foot, to save his wife.

That’s when we see just how far he’ll go.

“She’s dead anyway, and so am I.”

Like he is just like sick of losing the people he cares about.

Then compare that to when Benji gets kidnapped. THIS DUDE GAVE A KNOWN TERRORIST 50 million DOLLARS ( I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT, AND NOW THAT HAVE WATCHED 3, IT MAKES MORE SENSE OVERALL). And you know Luther tells him in no uncertain terms that Lane cannot get his hands on any of that money.

And what does Ethan respond: “He’ll never take me alive, I’ll make sure of it.”

HE IS FULLY PREPARED TO DIE TO SAVE BENJI’s life.

And given that that what remains of the syndicate, now knows as the apostles, are still kicking around in Fallout, it’s clear that, that the money Ethan gave lane helped them stay afloat.

Which helps kick off Fallout, to begin with. And Then Luther gets held at gunpoint, the entire narrative points out how had he not lost the plutonium, no one would be here.

Lane realizes that his team, is the thing that keeps him grounded and if he loses them, it would all be too much for him to handle.

Lane exploits human nature to get what he wants: Meaning he knows that by Kidnapping Benji he’ll get the disk, so with that logic, he knows he could break Ethan by killing all of his friends and loved ones.  Which is like, Lane chill, I still like having his team alive.

I think Ethan prioritizes his friends' lives because he can’t be without them. And if he has them by his side, he works better and he can fix the resulting chaos that happens when he saves their lives. The inverse, however, will probably not be true, at least not anymore.

Ethan just holds on to his friends because they are what make his life better, worth living and without them, then what is the point. Which I think is such a heartwarming and tragic sentiment for this character to develop

Anyway, I hope these laid out my thoughts on the subject in a clear way and I had so much delight in answering your ask!

Have a good heckin’ day anon!

(and please enjoy this picture of that scene I was referring to in my previous essay, it’s just. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHH) 

[parvummalum07]

Inky paths of life 01

First post on Tumblr. Well. I am not a native English speaker so I Really don’t know whether or not I should use simple present tense when my characters are thinking...So, sorry if my shit grammar and very limited vocabulary bother you.

Soulmate AU; John POV; most likely bad ending and major character death. I hope I would actually finish this one hahahaha...

I don’t own these people; they own me, in some way or another. God bless the Beatles.

Nothing is real and nothing is to hung about.

He knew they would come in one way or another; suddenly or slowly, sometimes just under one’s eyes. So it didn’t surprise him that his word chose to came in the most unattractive and mediocre way: it appeared in his dream, without him noticing. And it also didn’t surprise him that it chose to appear across his waist, the position most people have their words. Mediocre, indeed; even its context was rather boring, because there was only one word instead of a sentence that people usually have and really, what kind of boring lover would make the last word she would say to him Johnny? Wouldn’t that unknown person choose to leave a more charming, more romantic remark on her own death?

 Wouldn’t his lover be different than those idiots who would actually call the names of their soulmates when they die?

 Yes, the fucking fate whispered in his ears, I did chose such an unpleasant soulmate for you, because why not? He brushed these dark thoughts away with a sneering bark, but in the dead of night, when he finally got rid of Mimi’s endless remarks on that ‘special person’, and had to face the darkness alone, such thoughts crept up to his spine, leaving an icy trace between his shoulder blades. You are just an ordinary human being, this disembodied voice said to him, just a boy that nobody loves. Your dad left you, your mom left you, no one at school likes you, you are the troublemaker and the stupid one, failing your courses all the time. So why an interesting soulmate?

 And deep down inside, he agreed. Maybe John Lennon doesn’t deserve a unique soulmate, and that’s OK. But still, a part of himself thought of his word as a……sign? Maybe a prophecy? Deep down there was a kind of hope shining like twilight: at least, for now, he surely has a soulmate……he had heard about illnesses—and sometimes, the lack of love—which would deprive a person from having a mark at the age of 15; at least he didn’t belong to them. Maybe, just maybe, there was a soulmate—probably a good-looking one—must be a good-looking one, come on! –right there, waiting for John, and she would love him no matter what.

 Maybe.

   The first time he felt like meeting a soulmate, he realized later on, was the time he met Paul. Of course he didn’t know how it feels, but that was the closest ever feeling compared to his imagination. The earth would not stop turning, there wouldn’t be blinding light flashing everywhere……but there was definitely something going on. Sparks flying. The first time he ever saw that Elvis-looking boy walking into that church, he thought: holy shit.

 Not a decent thing to say in a church, he knew, but still. The scene was shocking.

 Technically speaking it wasn’t the first time he met Paul because he had seen him, had met him on the bus for several times, had saw him waving to the girls alongside the window, smiling as if surprised and embarrassed by the admiration from the other gender. He regarded this gesture as phony, for what kind of girls wouldn’t fall for his looks, with those cherubic cheeks and doe eyes? He knew some guys who would howl at these pair of eyebrows as well; sex appeals, it seems, are not so mutually exclusive. Later on he would alter this belief, admitting that yes, that little Elvis really didn’t expect such attraction, but at that time the stranger on the bus seemed to be the exact kind of people he would normally hate at first sight.

 Except that he wasn’t. That warm voice of his certainly mastered Twenty flight rock well, but the real surprise fell when Elvis and Little Richard came ringing in the hall. John was immediately attracted by that person, and all of a sudden, the world was making a lot more senses to him. It was truly breathtaking.

 “What was your name again?” he asked after the show-off, trying hard to bury his excitement under a cool mask, and that boy smiled triumphantly.

 “Paul,” he responded, his fingertips sliding down the white keys elegantly, “Paul McCartney.”

   Paul, as far as he knew, was the only one who didn’t show around his own words. This wasn’t usually what a Scouse teenager do within the age hierarchy, for you simply highlight your authority to people younger than you by showing off your words. At first he thought that was because his marks were buried deep in his clothes, on a position where only intimate families could see, but later on, when being asked by a mutual friend of theirs, he laughed and explained.

 “I just don’t do it,” he said lightly to Ivan, after a quite successful gig, when everyone around them were drinking and laughing heavily, “not because it is hard to show or something—God bless those who have their word on their butt—but because I simply don’t want to.”

 “How come?” Pete yelled from afar, his booming voice echoing in the unbearable din. Everyone in the pub began yelling to each other, and John was suddenly very, very angry for the fact that the music was on, so fucking loud that if Paul chose this moment to give Ivan a private answer, he wouldn’t be able to know what he had spoken. But Paul simply smiled; he shook his head fondly and leaned on the bar counter, flying John a glance as he shouted out his order to a rather pissed-looking barman.

 “Weird, isn’t he?” Ivan commented, and he hummed his agreement absent-mindedly, watching the dark-haired boy leaning closer to the bar, a flash of sweaty pale skin appearing under his shirt. His mouth suddenly turned very, very dry.

   They didn’t touch upon this topic until much later, when John was sobbing uncontrollably in Paul’s arms, his attempts at speaking failing pathetically because of erupting hiccups and gasps. The pain of losing Julia was suddenly too intense to endure, he didn’t want that part of himself unveiled in front of Paul, but Paul stuck to him, faced his ferocious burst of anger without a blink of his eye, and finally, finally, John allowed himself to collapse under the embrace of the younger boy, his body limp yet for the first time in days relieved. Paul didn’t mutter a single word, just held a death grip on the back of John’s open shirt, and strangely, that was just what John needed at the moment.

 Finally, after burying his nose in Paul’s neck for a long time—he could smell a faint odor of lavender from Paul’s skin, mixed up with sweat and a fresh scent he couldn’t tell, a scent so uniquely Paul’s—he could finally utter a full sentence without sounding teary.

 “How did you survive all that, Macca?” he whispered, “how did you……get used to…losing…her?”

 Paul inhaled deeply. He inhaled so deeply that John could feel his heart beating within his ribcage, under their closely pressed-together skin. “I didn’t,” after a long pause, he said, his beautiful eyes blank, “I couldn’t. You simply bleed and carry on, that’s all.”

 John breathed. In, out, in, out. So simple, yet so hard. Life is fragile, he suddenly realized, for he would be dead so easily if he simply stops doing this.

 “You don’t admire my dad, I know,” Paul whispered, his sound cracking a little at the end of each word, “but I truly respect him……for he could still carry on. It is a miracle he even survived; I couldn’t imagine……”

 He shuddered, and John suddenly knew.

 “Your mom and dad, they are soulmates, right?”

 He couldn’t see his face but he knew somehow that Paul closed his eyes. “He said to her the words when she……passed away.”

 There was a long silence. John would swear to God that he felt warm wetness sinking into the collar of his shirt, but when Paul spoke again, there was no trace of tears in his voice.

 “That was like a kind of fraud, isn’t it?” he commented, his voice fierce and vibrating with emotion, “Knowing a person’s words and say to him or her the exact sentence before that person dies? It……I don’t know how to put it……how the fuck could someone—anyone—believe that it is the end, it is the last time they……How can they be certain? How can they choose to do so? Isn’t it arrogant to assume themselves to be soulmates? Wasn’t it something that should be decided……not by people?”

 John let go of Paul’s shirt, sat up straight, studied him quite closely. He didn’t know where his glasses were, so he couldn’t tell whether Paul cried or not; but intense sorrow and yearning were erupting from under that girlishly handsome face, appearing and disappearing like flashes of shooting star. This bare, intimate display of his most ferocious emotions didn’t contort Paul’s features, but made him—impossibly—even more beautiful; he now held a face of a pained martyr or a constrained saint, a face that suddenly made John too awed to look at.

 “So this is why you didn’t show your marks to anyone, is it?” he whispered, “do you……not expect your wife or someone to be your soulmate?”

 He would never forget Paul’s tone when he answered that question. “I do,” he said calmly, “I just don’t want them to feel obliged to be my soulmate. That would be too heartbroken for them if I die first.”

   Stu held a different opinion. In fact, Stu held too many different opinions; he and Paul were like two ends of a magnet. But somehow, John found them disturbingly alike: both were sensitive and easy to fall into melancholy, both were mature beyond their own age, both were somehow timid when facing the girls, seemingly unaware of the charm and aura they carried around themselves. Stu, however, was built in much less strong material; John would say he was hesitant, unsure about his future and ambition, whereas Paul was nothing but the opposite.

 He never knew why all these conversations about soulmates or words took place inside dark damp gross-smelling pubs, but they did. One night in Hamburg they were hanging around, simply enjoying themselves, and this topic was brought up between large gulps of beer and rude laughter, in the dance hall filled with people so engaged in having fun that they didn’t even want to think about the future. The light was blinding, flashes of colors erupting like firework across people’s faces.

 “Why did you come to Germany anyway?” Someone, maybe Ringo, asked.

 Stu chuckled. He pulled the neck of his shirt, revealing a patch of milky pale skin. A sharp line of dark words was shining under a thin layer of sweat. “German,” he claimed, when people around him hooted and whistled, “you’d believe that it’s easier to find a bird speaking German here, mates.”

 He didn’t know why he brought that up, but: “Do you know Paul never show his marks to anyone?”

 Stu stared at him, then turned to Paul, who froze beside John’s arm. “Not even to you?” he asked suspiciously, taking in this piece of information with difficulty, “How come?”

 “It doesn’t matter,” Paul retorted, suddenly putting all his guards up like a hedgehog hiding his underbelly while facing an attack, “I just……don’t.”

 Stu swallowed. A sincere shade of unease flashed across his delicate features. “But……what if there’s some accident? What if your words are someone’s last words before an accident takes place? You’ve got to know them to prevent an accident, isn’t it? Life is very short, and there’s no time for you to hesitate.”

 They both jumped when Paul suddenly slammed his bottle of beer hard on the bar counter. “That isn’t my case, is it, Stu?” he sneered, “I’m not the one with these words on his chest. Enjoy the night, lads!”

 And in a swirl, he charged out of the pub. Stu and John stared at each other, while an icy atmosphere suddenly fell heavily in their small group of friends. Someone made a joke deliberately, and soon afterward, everyone was laughing again; the eye contact between them, however, didn’t break.

 “I apologize,” John said, a nasty scent of bitterness rising in his throat, “he was—”

 “No,” Stu answered, buttoning his shirt absent-mindedly, his eyes suddenly in tears, “no, I understand.”

 His fingertips brushed across these sharply written German, which, roughly translated into English, would be: Shit, Stu, what the fuck, don’t die, don’t—

TBC

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight @echomoon

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

what up im jared, im 19 and i never learned how to fuckign read. JK my name is Theo and I super know how to read. Most of the time. Also I’m 22. Anyway I’m one of the more OG members of the Magicians fandom, having been here since back in the early days of early s1. Uhhh I’m nonbinary and hella queer. Metafic is my most favorite thing in the world other than puppies. I cry at least once a day. I have adhd and depression and chronic pain and hella other issues. I’m an anthropology major, in my third year. I’m a slytherin, an illusions discipline, and a pisces.

How long have you been writing for?

Since I learned how, basically, but I only really started posting things online because of the Magicians and also because of Twilight?

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

It’s the BEST and I find it very easy to write from Quentin’s pov which means I actually finish things sometimes lol.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Quentin, because he is essentially me if I was born as a cisdude except more repressed in terms of sexuality and also more wealthy, which makes him super easy to write and super easy to get ideas about. I also like Penny, because for some reason people think I’m good at writing him?

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

I write a lot set in the Brakebills years because I like the whole magic school thing and the exploration of magic and interpersonal relationships without having to deal with the Beast or other threats trying to destroy everything they know and love? Like I like that slow burn, spread out, things are happening but they’re happening slowly and also heres some meta about magic kind of exploration that that time gives me the opportunity to do. I think this is partially influenced by that the first book has them in that setting so much longer, and partially because I’m still doing the whole college thing myself and find that easiest to relate to (because no one really wants to read ‘Quentin working two part time jobs and struggling to survive and nothing else happens’ unless it’s just a tiny segment of the fic lmao).

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

Well, in regards to Magicians fic, I’m still trudging along on chapter two of Magician’s Path - I’m trying to introduce more of Julia’s side of the story as well as working on how to warp the two canons into each other while also making the storyline unique - and also on the next part of crazy/classic/life, my paradise kiss and magicians crossover au. I’m also trying to find the time to record more podfic of my fics, because I think its important to have audiofic available. But nothing new, just continuations.

As for other fandoms, I’m working on a HELLA long reworking of the Descendants universe (hi i love disney channel movies dont judge), and that’s my primary focus right now in terms of fic.

How long is your “to do list”?

Very

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

Oh heck, um… probably either all tied up or The Magician’s Path. all tied up was my first time writing PiV smut and also writing shadeless!Julia and I’m just really proud of it? And TMP is like, my baby, my huge multichapter canon reworking that I’m putting so much planning into and I’m always so excited to talk about it. I know it doesn’t seem like much yet but y’all I have so many plans for it and I hope you end up loving it as much as I do.

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

TMP for sure - I hope that when I’m done more people give it a try.

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

Ha my writing process is either ‘has no ideas for months straight and then suddenly idea when I’m supposed to be doing something else but I gotta write this down!!!’ or ‘one sentence every month at most’. Now that the FTB server has gotten bigger, I’ve found some people who will proofread for me, so there’s that editing process afterwards (thanks @oneeyeddestroyer for being the best beta).

I guess my only superstition is that if I’m doing a multichapter or big work I try not to give too much detail out when I talk about it because I get worried that saying about the plot too much will make me lose interest in it.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I do tend to write more when the show is airing, because more people are engaged and it’s something to fill the void between episodes - during hiatus I tend to drift away a bit and focus on other fandoms. This is the first show thats been so all consuming for me, I don’t usually watch things while they air because I tend to forget about remembering to watch them after a week or so? But Magicians keeps pulling me back and keeping me in.

As for ongoing canon developments, it really depends on the thing. If it fits into my plot of it’s a detail I want to put in, I might, but otherwise I’m comfortable lifting what I want from canon and throwing the rest out for a fic - we follow a show with canon multiverses, we can do what we want lmao.

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

Honestly, most of my fics? Because I try to improve every time I write and like, explore new things. So whatever I’m working on at the time is the most challenging.

Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?

EVERYONE BEING HAPPY AND NOTHING BAD HAPPENING EVER cough cough I mean, um. I like meta, I like worldbuilding and exploring meta and seeing what I can change. I keep accidentally writing soulmate fics? So that’s a trend I guess.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Oh heck, so many dude, I don’t even know, I’m gonna just link you to my bookmarks because that’s the fic I love and probably unconsciously imitate on the often

As for nonfic, like I def want to write like Marisha Pessl or Tamora Pierce or Donna Tartt or Lev Grossman or Mark Z Danielewski but more in his house of leaves phase than his current stuff tbh or Neil Gaiman and also like. Everything that you read or watch or experience makes up how you see the world and how you create what you create and I consume so much stuff I can’t even begin to guess my influences beyond the little tidbits that I keep in my bookmarks or on my shelves.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Currently I’m reading a lot of harry potter fic - the mood is the department of mysteries or other exploration of magic, so things related to that. HP fic is my go to when I’m not revving for any fandom in particular. Nonfic, I’m working my way through Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, which is hella fucking good, as well as a bajillion textbooks.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Fuck canon do what you want

Cringe time:

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

Yes but now that you ask can I remember any? Nope.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

Oh shit dude I don’t even know. The earliest one I can remember was this like, post twilight self insert fic where the cullens came to my middle school for some reason? I barely finished the intro of it iirc but it might still be in my stack of papers in my old room somewhere.

Rapid Fire Round:

Self-edit or Beta? Beta (always get a beta kids! They’re worth their weight in gold)

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? Comments!! (please, leave me comments, i live for them)

Smut, Fluff or Angst? fluff

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Slow burn

Favourite season? All?????? Dont make me choose

Favourite episode? Im stuck between life in a day or all that josh

Favourite book(The Magicians books)? Probably book 2, i love seeing julia’s side of things and exploring hedge magic

Three favourite words? BUTTS, lore, hearth

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

[trashunlimited]

the complete history of julie’s development

(and some other stuff too)

i was thinking about making this post because i actually have a lot to say in regards to this?

@nightshade1994, @glampyra

so, i started watching rnm back in around may 2014, when i was still 13 years old. while the show currently has three seasons with a fourth in production, back then we only had season one, which is what most of the info surrounding julie is based on.

the character of mrs.sanchez(rick’s wife) is still elusive as hell, even more so back then. all the show really told us was:

she is no longer around for whatever reason

rick left her for an unspecified reason

which isn’t really much to go off of. but people were still making versions of her back then, and i wanted to get in it on. julie started out as a design really, nothing more, and her name was “tatiana” back then. but i decided instead to switch to an english name, and she was renamed “juliana”, or just julie for short(which is actually the french form of julia).

i ended up coming up with ideas for julie’s personality, but what really inspired me was when i was looking through a now dead rick and morty confessions blog, and someone posted a confession that they thought maybe the reason rick is so attached to morty to begin with, is because morty reminds him of his wife. both characters being shy, cute and awkward, but his wife also being this really sweet and kind person. that was basically the basis of julie’s personality that i expanded on over the years.

i still have that confession saved too

with the way mrs.sanchez is presented, it’s clear she’s dead. however, 13/14 year old me was not about that shit, and i opted to keep her alive. the explanation is she ran away to look for rick, and ended up becoming some badass bounty hunter type. i still have this pic i made back in 2014 of her bounty hunter look(pictured with rick):

my dumbass preferred her over the younger julie(because she’s cooler or whatever), and i kept her like this for a while, and for a short time, i got rid of the bounty hunter thing but still kept her alive, before coming to the tragic conclusion she had to be killed off. it fucking hurt, but it was the realistic option and i knew i had to do it.

since then, julie’s been in a continuous development, and she only has gotten better, as i’ve gotten better at character creation.

onto her design

julie was made to be conventionally attractive, i mean look at her daughter and rick

it’s clear, beth takes over rick in terms of personality, and her mother in appearance.

i made julie a redhead because it’s meant to explain where summer’s red hair comes from, both parents need to carriers of the red hair gene in order for it to pass onto the offspring...and even then...it’s really recessive, which is why only a small amount of people have it. beth carries the red hair gene from her mother, and jerry carries it from a direct relative of his.

julie has a small button nose to explain where morty’s nose shape comes from. beth’s nose shape is explained as being a combination of julie’s nose and rick’s nose, it goes down like rick’s, and is rounded like julie’s.

(reference pics i have)

her hairstyle was also made to reflect her shyness(with a whole side of her face being covered) and her femininity, as it’s long and very neat.

her outfits are also meant to properly look like outfits from the 70s, the particular decade julie comes from. these pictures of outfits from the 70s inspired julie’s:

and since julie is feminine, of course her outfits reflect this too.

julie’s design hasn’t changed drastically, i mainly just redesigned her outfits, the one she had for the longest with a violet sundress and brown boots, but i changed it because it was too plain and not 70s enough. looking back at this old traced thing i made, also back in 2014, julie’s hairstyle appears to be slightly different too. and rick’s skin was wayyy too damn light, i think i just chose a bad screenshot to take his skin colour from at the time.

i even redid julie’s elderly design, in the au where she lives, and also redid that top picture of rick and julie from years ago:

(now rick and julie are even wearing their wedding rings!) and julie looks skinny and has a younger-looking body because rick used some anti-aging serum on her. now elderly julie is a stereotypical grandma who bakes cookies and knits cute sweaters for you. where’s that damn “julie lives” au.

i redid that other picture too.

i think i should also bring up julie’s friends because they are important too.

i did mention before that the earliest version of how rick and julie met was because of julie’s friends dragging her to a bar. one of the friends wanted julie to socialize more, this became vivian, and another girl who was a party animal named hilda, who i scrapped completely. another friend of julie’s that was scrapped was sandra, who was supposed to be the friend julie could talk about “girly stuff” with. i scrapped them out of a lack of ideas.

as for mark, i wanted a character who was reasonable and julie could go to for advice, and i made him a male to balance out the three female characters. he was made a hippie because my ass couldn’t resist including one. a significant part of mark’s backstory is him being a victim of child abuse, and the inspiration for this comes a tragic place.

child abuse is a very personal thing for me, not because i was a victim of it, but because both, yes, both of my parents were victims of it themselves. they faced physical and emotional abuse growing up, and had to deal with a lot of other shit in their younger years that i won’t go into detail about. i really wanted to make a character that was a victim of abuse, and at first, it was handed over to julie, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it, and i liked the idea of a big part of why julie is the way she is because is because her parents had a very positive influence on her. so it got handed to mark instead, who i didn’t have much backstory in mind for at the time.

i can’t believe i’m saying this, but initially there was a point when there was a love triangle. look, i’ve said it multiple times but i initially created julie when i was 13/14, i didn’t know any better. when i finally realized how dumb it was, i scrapped it, along with the character in the love interest, also vying for julie’s affections, named kent. the story revolving around this was how it was for the longest time too and i’m so fucking embarrassed holy shit.

at one point, julie also had a younger brother who was named charlie(julie was born in 1951, and i think he was supposed to be born in either 1952 or 1953). he didn’t last long and was scrapped too, i didn’t want there to be a whole other side to the smith family they were either:

completely unaware of

OR

knew they existed and didn’t care about them for whatever reason

i gave charlie black hair, and to this day, the design i have in mind for julie’s mother has black hair too, i just think it looks good on her. at the end of the day, scrapping him was really good in the long run, mark and julie, who both don’t have siblings, see themselves as brother and sister, and it adds to their bond. it also reinforces julie’s loneliness, and the reason i have in mind that about julie’s innocent nature is because her parents were protective, because julie’s mother suffered a miscarriage a year after julie was born and was rendered infertile. her parents didn’t want to lose their only biological child after all.

i don’t have too much to say about vivian, she’s always been fairly constant, except she used to be a lot bitchier, but i opted to make her nicer, even if it doesn’t come off that way. i also always had the idea of her and mark being paired together, i just liked the idea of putting a character with a short-temper and a character with a mild-temper character. their relationship is more subtle than rick/julie.

once i branched away from the love triangle shit, the story needed to change, and i started out trying to incorporate the galactic federation into it. but it wasn’t very...successful...

i came up with the idea for the fyralogin empire because i thought it would make sense for the universe to have a great power before the federation replaced it. so they were represented as a dying empire on it’s last legs, struggling to hold onto power.

i don’t have too much else to say from this point on. but as you can see, julie, her friends and the story itself went through a lot before reaching their current point, and...i think it’s all for the better.

[tveckling]

ALL OF THEM for bentycutio

Well, can’t complain since I did say it was ok to say ‘all’ :p

1.  Who is the most affectionate?Mercutio is the most physical of them all, hands down, and is most often demanding cuddles. Tybalt is surprisingly the one who shows his affection for the other two most often, in his silent way, and he’d deny it if anyone called him on it.2. Big spoon/Little spoon? There’s no one who is strictly one or the other. They just cling to each other in one big pile, although sometimes it seems like Mercutio somehow has eight arms instead of two?3. Most common argument?Benvolio gets so so sick and tired of Mercutio and Tybalt always making quips at each other (it’s a habit and just the way they interact, and it’s completely without animosity but still) and it has led to some of their worst fights.4. Favorite non-sexual activity?Habits die hard, and Benvolio and Mercutio just can’t stop themselves from coming up with pranks. It took some time, but then they realized that several of the pranks hadn’t actually been caused by either one of them (Tybalt has an amazing stone face) and after that all three of them are in an ongoing prank war, where the next strike can happen at any moment and any time. (They have a calender only for dates and situations where there is a cease-fire)5. Who is the most likely to carry the other?Tybalt tends to simply move the others whenever they don’t want to move or move too slowly for his liking. What he doesn’t know is that both Benvolio and Mercutio usually refuses to move just to make him carry them. 6. What's the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?Mercutio at the beginning has problems flirting or in any way show that he has feelings - most often the very mention of it makes him flee. At the same time he wants to spend all his time around the other two, while protesting that he does it for any particular reason. It takes a very long time before he admits to anyone, least of all himself, that he has feelings, but once he’s come to terms with it his flirting is back every stronger than ever.Benvolio starts to study himself and the others until he does realize that, yes, he has feelings for them. The most important thing after that is to make sure they’re all on the same page, because he knows the two of them well enough for anything else. After he’s gotten the two of them to admit their feelings too he relaxes more in their company, while he gets more worried when he thinks they’re out being their usual dumbasses.Tybalt has a minor panic attack, and has to have Julia and then Benvolio talk to him and make him see it’s okay. After that he has a period where he is very unsure and becomes overprotective, leading to several fights between him and Mercutio. After even more talks -forced by Benvolio- he calms down and stops being as overprotective. He will always be protective, however.7. Nicknames? & If so, how did they originate?Mercutio gives Benvolio and Tybalt new nicknames every other week, just because he can - cat related nicknames for Tybalt are never ending though. Benvolio tends to either use the others’ names or some regular pet names like darling, love, etc. Tybalt don’t use nicknames or pet names at all, especially not after the time he accidentally called Mercutio ‘sweetheart’ and Mercutio didn’t stop heckling him for weeks.8. Who worries the most?Benvolio. Even though none of them fight he still worries that the other two will get themselves in trouble, because they are both stubborn asses that refuse to realize they have limits.9. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?Tybalt has impeccable memory regarding things like that and he always knows what Benvolio and Mercutio wants to order. Just to be contrary Mercutio then pretends he wanted something else.10. Who tops? Oh hey look time for sexytiems hcs There is no set rule for them, but they all have their preferences. Mercutio loves being fucked, in any position. Benvolio tends to get dominating in the bedroom, and he stays in charge whether he is the one to penetrate, be penetrated, or otherwise. Tybalt isn’t that fond of being fucked, but he has discovered that there are times when he loves the feeling of it. 11. Who initiates kisses? Benvolio is the one who most often initiates the mouth-to-mouth kisses, while Mercutio is very fond of pressing quick pecks all over the others’ faces whenever he feels like it. 12. Who reaches for the other's hand first? Benvolio likes to show affection the most, and hand holding is both a way to be affective and to calm down both himself and the other person - and considering his partners he feel the need to calm them down and ground them very often.13. Who kisses the hardest? Tybalt’s kisses are often desperate and hard enough to bruise, which he always feels embarrassed about later. It takes a very, very long time before he loses that desperation but then his kisses completely change. 14. Who wakes up first? Tybalt, who is a very very early riser. Morning is the best and most important time of the day for him, and he has a long morning ritual that he does by himself. At the end of it Benvolio has always woken up and joins him for breakfast.15. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer? Mercutio. All the way. Who even invented mornings? Cruel persons who hate him, that’s who. And Tybalt and Benvolio are just as cruel and evil for forcing him to leave the warm and comfortable bed.18. Who leaves little notes in the other's one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)Tybalt is the one who always makes their lunches, because he actually loves cooking and refuses to allow Mercutio anywhere near his cutlery, but Benvolio is the one who slips small notes of encouragements, support, love, and such into Mercutio and Tybalt’s lunches. After a while Tybalt starts putting similar notes in Benvolio’s lunches, and Benvolio is kind not to mention it (he knows Tybalt would want to die of embarrassment) but his smile that first day is so brilliant that Tybalt makes sure to never forget leaving a note.19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?Tybalt tells Julia about it even before there is a relationship, so she can advice him on what to do. As soon as it’s clear they’re in a relationship Mercutio tells Valentine, because it’s important for him to get his brother’s blessing. The three of them then tells Romeo, who at the time has Julia to comfort him and keep Tybalt from trying to throttle him. After that Mercutio drags the other two to the palace for dinner where he tells his uncle, hoping to do it at a good moment for amusement, while Benvolio is entertaining Valentine and Tybalt is awkward. 20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?They’re all more than a little unsure at first, but they all accept it sooner or later. Some sooner than others. (The Prince pulls Mercutio aside to have a yelling match about dalliances with Montagues AND Capulets jfc) The Capulet and Montague lords and ladies are easier to convince with the help of Julia and Romeo, as well as greed (connections are good, okay, and connections to royalty are the best sort)21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other? Mercutio will just grab whoever’s closer and start dancing with them without hesitation, because he just does not care. At all. Sometimes he’ll pull both of them with him. Benvolio is fondly amused, Tybalt endures it simply because Mercutio won’t let him escape. 22. Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?Tybalt is in charge of the food, because he’s better than the other two in all ways regarding food. When he’s sick or incapable to cooking Benvolio is in charge. When neither Tybalt nor Benvolio can cook they order food, because Mercutio is an absolute disaster in the kitchen (except for making the best coffee any of them has ever tasted)23. Who comes up with cheesy pickup lines?Mercutio. Mercutio all the way, all the time. There is no shame to be had, and he says all the lines with too much glee. 24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other's ear during inappropriate times?Mercutio, again. There is nothing better than seeing Tybalt trying to hold back any reactions, and unfortunately for Tybalt Benvolio agrees.25. Who needs more assurance?They all need assurance but Tybalt needs almost constant reassurance in the beginning, because he simply can’t believe the other two are genuine in their feelings or that he can be happy in such a way. It’s just not possible for him. Once he’s calmed down and gotten used to them he relaxes enough to almost never need any reassurances. Mercutio, on the other hand, acts completely confident and assured most of the time until he suddenly falls into despair and uncertainty. He can be almost unreachable at those times, and the only thing Benvolio and Tybalt can do is stay with him and wait for it to pass, and then assure him of their love once he recovers. 26. What would be their theme song?Idk dude. Don’t have any particular songs in my head or memory atm.27. Who would sing their child to sleep? Benvolio and Tybalt takes turns to read stories to their child, but Mercutio would prefer to sing to them. While he normally fancies loud, and often rude, songs he knows many many lullabies and soft/gentle/child-friendly songs that he used to sing to Valentine when they were young, and he loves singing them to their child. Of course he thinks it’s a secret and would be absolutely mortified if he knew Benvolio and Tybalt has seen him many times, and even recorded him once or twice. 28. What do they do when they're away from each other?Mercutio texts them non-stop with anything and everything that comes to him mind - most often memes and smileys. Benvolio focuses on whatever it is that he’s away doing, then makes calls once he has free time in the evening. Tybalt tries to focus on other things too, but he has to pause to look at pictures of them on his phone every now and then, especially if he’s gone more than a day - then he calls them in the night, mostly to hear their voices rather than talk himself. 29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heartMy favorite one is the idea that they did have a relationship in canon, but for several reasons (the feud, to begin with, and them being mlm and poly following closely) kept it secret. And Mercutio loves riling up Tybalt, and Tybalt has such a temper and an overprotective streak a mile long, and they didn’t count on Romeo coming between them. The hit was too good, they were unlucky, and Mercutio dies before anyone has a chance to get a doctor. The shock paralyzes Tybalt and he doesn’t fight back when Romeo comes to kill him, and so the only one left is Benvolio who has seen the two men he loves die in front of him. In the end everyone mourns and celebrates Romeo and Julia’s love, but Benvolio mourns on his own because he’s the only one alive who knows about the three of them. No one else will ever find out. 30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it. In another version of the story Benvolio intervenes before the two of them get started in their fight, because he is sick of Mercutio having to rile Tybalt up and Tybalt having no control of his temper, and gdi Tybalt being overprotective is so getting on his nerves. So instead of a fight Benvolio forces Romeo to explain what the hell is going on, and gives Tybalt the evil eye whenever he starts to get pissed again. He is also the one who just decides that they all go to the Prince, because this is obviously an issue that should be taken to him, and IT ALL ENDS GOOD. THE PRINCE DECIDES THAT THE MARRIAGE IS VALID, HE USES IT TO FORCE PEACE BETWEEN THE FAMILIES, AND OH MERCUTIO -always taking the best opportunities- TAKES THE CHANCE TO REVEAL THEIR RELATIONSHIP TOO. NO ONE DIES. THE END.

[morathor]

The Adventure Zone 39/?

Just to reiterate, Magnus ATE.  THE PHILOSOPHER'S.  STONE.

In case anyone forgot, that, that's still a thing.

He's also trying to be badass while pinned beneath a giant mirror.  Works pretty well, all things considered, actually.  I like that he covered for Lucas, but also that he wasn't like... done being pissed.  Like he's still so mad.  But he also is not going for vengeance he's just all, "Do good."  That's beautiful, I love it.

And early on there Lucas is all "I'm not sorry" yeah you said sorry about nine times in five seconds when Magnus was lifting you off the ground but now he's under a mirror you've got attitude about this?  And like, Lucas, I get that you lost your mom and that was terrible, I absolutely don't mean to make light of the pain and all.  I'm not even gonna say he was wrong to try to get her back!  Fuck the natural order!  No seriously, if bringing the dead back to life was a possibility I would have zero moral qualms about it--but if there were costs or consequences involved, I could have qualms about those.  And Lucas, my dude, my fellow, there were consequences.  And I feel like, given all the research he was doing on the different planes and how they interact, he should have seen all this coming, but he was too rushed or willfully ignorant to anticipate them properly.

(Also, unless DM has houseruled it out for narrative purposes, there is already magic in DnD to revive the dead without building soulbots or breaking the barrier between planes and shit.  It's not super easy but it's significantly more doable than all the hoops Lucas jumped through.  Hell, Merle is like one level shy of being able to Raise Dead himself.)

I wrote, deleted, rewrote, and redeleted an entire paragraph on Kravitz' accent stuff but let's leave it at: bleh.  Taako getting deep at the grim reaper though, that was nice.  And I like Magnus' negotiation tactics.  (Twenty years is reaching a bit, though.  But I guess you start high so you can bargain down some.)  I loved the card game, I mean it wasn't super long but it showed some great ingenuity by the player and some great improv by the DM, I love that he came up with "cheat at cards" rules on the fly.

MAGNUS WHY YOU GOTTA BREAK MY HEART LIKE THAT.  I mean I have seen some spoilers in regards to Julia and, like if you just go by a synopsis it doesn't strike me as that moving but the, the roleplaying?  The acting and choice of words?  That gets... pretty intense.  Even just in this episode where Magnus mentions her for two seconds, there is so much emotion in his voice.  (And after Lucas was all "If you had ever lost someone you loved" yeah Lucas, Magnus knows the feel and he's still fuckin pissed about all this.)  Really Magnus' roleplayer is doing, such a good job in this and the past few epsiodes.  I know I barely talk about the quality of the roleplaying/acting anymore because it's all gotten better to the point that less of it stands out.  But yeah Magnus has been great lately.

Mister Upsy is back!  Yay!  Also, why.  I am.  I am torn on Your Lifting Friend.  Like I'm not even waffling between liking and disliking him?  I do both.  Simultaneously.  Intensely.  Strings of goo whyyyyyyyyyy.

The return to the base was kinda cool.  Okay real talk, Killian asked Merle how his arm was doing and for half a second, I was one million percent sure he was going to say "It's growing on me."  Another wonderful half second?  Groggy Angus.  (Then they took 'got your nose' a little far.)   No3113 gets to skip the initiation?  I don't know if ya'll recall but I was preeeeeeetty up in arms about that initiation being unnecessary and dumb, so I'm okay with her skipping it.  But it just highlights that, if skipping it is on the table, it should be skipped more often.  Or always.

I am at least ninety percent sure that stoneskin does not work the way they are using it?  But it's a creative solution.  (I would have just gone with blink?  Like.  Send Magnus to the ethereal plane and I bet the stone gets left behind.) So the director pulls them all aside about the red robe encounter and like... Lucas and Noelle were frozen, during that.  It seemed like time had stopped for them.  Director being even able to listen in is... interesting.  Also she starts off with "What have I done to lose your trust" and that, I kind of like that?  Well first off there was a bit of real hurt in the words "What have I done".  Anyway it is a good starting point for the discussion--not "You didn't obey my orders how dare you" but y'know she did tell them, not to talk to the red robes, and she told them her reasoning for it, it wasn't just something she expected them to follow blindly, so when they didn't heed her warning.  It means they either didn't agree with her or didn't believe her and that I can see as a real problem she needs to address and I like how she's addressing it.

And on the other hand.  Magnus makes a good point.  She keeps a lot of secrets, even within the Bureau, she has them keep secrets, and this whole catastrophic thing was a result of shortsighted secrecy so yeah.  And the director pulling out the "with me or against me" line is not gonna help matters.  And then Taako circumvents the issue by saying they forgot her instructions which, honestly, is probably absolutely true both in and out of character.  And things cooled down and they talked a little more about trust and how that needs to go both ways and I think it was a good scene.

THAT EPILOGUE.  Ominous and cryptic!  (The meaning has been spoiled for me more or less entirely.)  Still great though.

[ts-crossroads]

Episode Eight - “Get Your Head Out of the Gutter, And Maybe Get A Brain” - Bryan

holy mother of everything good in this world i cannot believe we just pulled that off and im still probably in the clear

WHAT THE FUCK!!! Ok then. So Dane is telling me that Ned was just too big of a threat. But I’m so fucking pissed still. Whatever. I’m on a 4-6 minority with me Sam and Jake. However I hope Dane is willing to flip back. But I’d still need one more...dang it. I got work to do.

My hands r so dirty rn like BITCH LOLLL. Im actually terrible. Ned could have stayed if I voted with them. Too bad he had to be fake! Sorry not Sorry! Basically that shit wouldn't have happened if Rebecka and I didn't think it needed to. And Jake and Bryan are blaming DANE AND JOHN LOL THIS IS PERFECT. I'm actually DYINGGGG LMAOOO. 

fuck john fucking liar i fucking saved his ucking ass twice and this is how he repays me fuck out of here i can’t deal with these bitches everyone who voted out ned SUCKS AND I PUT SO MUCH TRUST INTO JOHN IM LITERALLY THE REASON WHY HE MADE IT TO MERGE AND HE CANT EVEN BE LOYAL FOR ONE FUCKING ROUND 

6-5 i was SHAKING during the tribal. i owe rebecka and julia m'life. i talked to sam/ned/autumn/jake more than i talked to rebecka and julia so im shocked they were the ones to save me??? as a previous winner im gonna be a loyal hoe to those who kept me. and autumn at least gave me the heads up that i was probably leaving, and it sucked i couldn't let her know i had a plan to save myself. like she was telling me "talk to ned, rebecka, haley and we can do something" and i already did that minus ned. i loved ned sm. i hate that this happened. but like he and sam were willing to turn on haley and i SO fast. i don't like that... also haley told john and i that she and chris were dating and LOL that makes so much sense it did'nt shock me. i'm glad i always talked good about haley to chris and vise versa.

I am so emotional and not ready to write this confessional. First it started with me fucking up. I thought I could trust Dane but I couldn’t. I knew Autumn wasn't with us but I didn’t think we would lose 2 impala to the other side. Then I fucked up more by telling Ned that we are safe and not to play an idol. I gave him my idol half which he then gave back to me and then told me he had a whole idol. He asked me several times if he should play it and I said no every time because I trusted everyone. I truly let Ned down and I don't know how I am going to go through this game without him. He was the 1 person I trusted with my entire game and now he's gone. I sound so dramatic but whatever, I lost my final 2. I can have all the feelings I want. I just don't know what to do now regarding who to work with. I also hate myself more bc I had tribal in another game immediately afterwards, and Ned was in this game with me. Anyway, Ned got 4 votes, I got 3. He had a super idol, which he could have played on himself after votes were read, and he made an announcement that he wasn't playing it because I deserve to be there more than him. I literally cried so much. Ned went home in 2 games back to back because of me. I fucked up the first tribal and he went home with an idol in his pocket and he gave up his game for me the second tribal. I know that this is going to be a relationship that I cherish for a long time. I truly care for him so deeply and it goes deeper than any game ever could. If I get nothing else out of this game, at least I got to form this beautiful and magical friendship with Ned. I can figure out the rest of this game tomorrow.

Me after getting blindsided in two different Survivor orgs within five minutes of each other https://twitter.com/ricardojkay/status/945781023006105600 Owen lucky Ned gave me a pep talk on his way out cause this is some bullshit and I sure was about to cut my losses and walk #yalldontdeserveme

 Well I went from everyone having to split the votes Ryan and I which would of led me to go home. I got everyone to switch that didn't want to put Ryan or my name down which was Julia,John,Rebecka,Ryan, and Dane. It definitely shows that they all can be trusted since Ned was the one that left last night. Bryan is still targeting me for the whole Emily vote which is bullshit that vote was forever ago and why would we tell the person that invited her to tribal it was going to be her and then have Bryan go back and tell Emily. I hope all the campaigning Bryan did to work against me just showed him who really has the numbers. I'm now going to make sure if Bryan doesn't get immunity again that he goes next. 

Ok so I really don't know who to trust at this point. I miss Ned soooo much. A lot of people from the other side have come to me to clear the air, but I really don't see a way to recover from this. Yesterday was an actual mess. Julia was lowkey bullying Bryan in the merge chat. I say lowkey, because it wasn't personal, it was game related, but it was extreme overkill. Bryan had said "ok thats fine" and "I see what I did wrong, I learned from my mistakes" etc and she continued to say things like "now go shit talk me more, I know you will" and it was just really rude. And Haley cheering her on in the background definitely amplified the situation to make Bryan feel worse. I feel like the only people I can trust are Bryan, Autumn, and Jake. It's hard though, because I know Bryan is a threat who needs to go. Autumn rarely talks to me. And I recently got close to Jake, so I know he has been working with Bryan a lot longer and would choose him over me in a heart beat. Dane seems to think that him flipping to vote out Ned wasn't "picking sides" and now everyone can be on a more even playing field. At least that's what he told me. He also doesn't want to think of them as "sides," he wants to vote out Bryan next. If there are sides and I vote out Bryan, It's literally going to be down to 3 vs 6, with me in the minority. As much as I love and miss Ned, I don't want to be in that jury. I want to be at FTC with Ned rooting for me the whole time. I also don't know how to feel right now. I'm conflicted, because everyone is telling me shady/sketchy things about Ned and reassuring me that it is best he is gone because he was untrustworthy, but I really don't think I believe it. Like I know Ned is such an honest and genuine person, I really can't see him playing me like that. And of course everyone will try to justify voting him out to me, it was so obvious we were a f2, we had never separated the ENTIRE game. Literally day 1 we were on impala and stayed there. I just don't know where to go from here. I'm upset that Haley and Dane won reward, it seems like the worst people to have won. Hopefully it doesn't help them in immunity. I really want to win. I'm scared though that if I do, Bryan will leave. A lot of people are upset about how he acted last round when he was immune. I don't know how I feel, I really just need to see how the next day goes. ALSO Dane getting under 5 minutes in that maze seems toooooo good. Like I did it as fast as I could and couldn't even finish half of it in that time. It seems very impossible. 

Errybody and they mama has been in my pm's explaining themselves and I'm like lmao ok but you're still cancelled. I have a heart though so I (probably) won't come for the apologizers first on the hitlist. DID SOMEBODY SAY HITLIST?!?! Yep it's about that time/ I'm back doing what I do best https://78.media.tumblr.com/b6fa3f3b282c7314c79578a6599d56b3/tumblr_n49f6q9bH11rsrbdko1_500.gif Also shoutout to everyone who believes in me. Thank you and sorry if I scared you I was like eyeball deep in my feelings after that vote (and Athena All Stars but we won't get into). I am NOT walking because there's too much justice that needs to be served

NED!!!! If Chris was my Beth, you were my Glenn cause you're so positive and hero-like aaaaannnd because I was a wreck when you died lol. Is it bad that I couldn't stop crying? http://cimg.tvgcdn.net/i/2016/12/15/b1aca255-c49f-4f8f-be1f-853d48cd3f55/maggie.gif I really hadn't seen the vote until you asked if I flipped. Then I went to watch the rest of the tribal video and started sobbing. Did I flip? Absolutely not and if I hadn't left the call, Crossroads would have my reaction to prove it. Whew if I had seen that shit live... look I'm an ugly crier and Crossroads can only exploit what I give it lmao. Anyway we spent half the game trying to make it back to each other only for you to die 5 minutes later and that suuucks rip. THANKS JULIA! YEP YOU HEARD RIGHT SIS IS NEGAN!!! Under all the humor and cute pro pics... tragic. Bryan only killing Chris and not you? Never judge a book by its cover haha. Anyway I hate this happened to you because you deserved so much better and I hope you're in a better place in jury. Imperium is in shambles- Scrappy is out here squaring up in people's pm's, Velma has gone awol, and Scooby is in the doghouse since everyone knows he has fleas. Idk what's about to happen but you're right everyone is a snake. Ok I should go I have a lot to do if I'm gonna make it to the end because #owensucks #crossroadsisugly Thank you for like playing this whack game and believing in me when I didn't believe in myself @ everyone else: https://78.media.tumblr.com/a661740fa7785ef674d1c8ef7971f4f9/tumblr_myzplpOrQ51ql5yr7o1_500.gif NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL STOP ME FROM BEING PETTY AND SENDING YOUR ASSES TO JURY SO SAVE YOUR BREATH!!! Do you need to explain yourself? Absolutely. Will it make a difference? NOPE. If you gave a fuck about me you wouldn't have lied in the first place. Also everything you say to me can and will be used against you so y'all really need to chill. I mean it- stop checking in like we're good because you will not know the answer to that until the game ends. Thinking that we're friends doesn't make it true. But you know what is true? I will send every single one of you to jury and I cannot fucking wait

I wish Jake would send things in one or two messages and not seven or eight 

OKAY So hours before the last tribal I wanted to vote out Jake because he's lodged up Bryan's ass. However, the only person that Ryan could get enough people to target was Ned due to the amount of people that he pissed off. So honestly between Ned or Ryan to stay? I think it's pretty obvious for me to know what's better for my game. :) After the tribal council however Bryan immediately called me and started yelling at me and demanding he knows what my strategy is moving forward in the game, but I wasn't going to give it away, so now I'm playing the role of the dumb sheep and I'm starting to make people believe that I'm not worth it to vote out at the moment. Anyways! After that call I thought I would give Bryan the benefit of the doubt and I just assumed that the tribal council would be a wake up call for his attitude, but nothing changed! He immediately ran his rat ass to Ryan and started talking shit about me so now I'm pissed at Bryan again. Now here we are again hours before the tribal council again and it's a shit show because from my point of view I think the votes are going to fall between Bryan and Julia.... maybe. Julia and Bryan had a "fight" in the main chat but I honestly believe it to be fake and I think Julia flipped back to Bryan and my paranoid ass is starting to believe that they're going to conspire against me and vote me out. BUT! I do think that my social standings with Sam would help me get past this vote. With that being said though I may have to abuse Sam's kindness to further myself into the rest of the game. I was thinking with Ryan and if we get Haley on board we can vote 3 votes onto Autumn or Sam (wildcards atm) and in the case that Bryan plays his idol (BTW I FORGOT TO SAY I FOUND AN IDOL RIGHT BEFORE TRIBAL LAST ROUND OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MAMA) we can play one of our idols and get out Sam or Autumn. However, if we do that then we isolate ourselves as a 3 which is why Bryan, Jake, and John were targeted in the first place for.  This tribal council is going to be just as messy as the last one and I'm terrified and I don't want to waste my idol if people are telling the truth and isolate myself, but I don't want to go home with an idol in my pocket. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j4Xsc4Y0tbk

This round has just been a clusterfuck. After the Ned blindside I called John and found out that Julia was lying to my face and voted Ned which pissed me off so I exposed Julia shit talking John to me to John. After the call with John I told Bryan, Sam, and Autumn about Julia lying to us and I connected with Autumn finally. Bryan of course went and told everyone about Julia so Julia blew up on him in the main chat, gr8. Anyways I'm shook because I won the immunity and I really feel like I needed it this round for the potential of people voting me. Of course people were targetting Bryan and this twist could have changed things up, but John and Dane are too scared to make a move and there's no way we can vote Julia out this round which sucks. Idk what else to do, I tried. I just have to hope that things change soon or I'll be picked off. 

Sam pissed me off tonight. I was considering to flip to get Julia out but then after talking to her and Bryan I realise that this bottom four is getting closer. Sam and Bryan both mentioned they trusted each other. They lie for each other. I called Sam because I wanted to talk about voting Julia out the round after Bryan leaves and then when I tell her Dane & I are not flipping she goes from this happy girl with a happy voice to this sad girl and we sit in silence. Like... she was sad I wasn't flipping... like girl... why would I flip to the four fucking people who lied to me and voted for me. I want to flip honestly but not while there's that many people!!!!!!! I like Rebecka and Julia but they don't talk to me and I know they're closer to Dane & Haley as well with each other. Dane told me he got a FULL idol... cute John told me he has half the idol which I helped him get. I have my full idol. Haley has half an idol. So at least I know where these powers are going. My dream plan was to vote Julia out next but Sam kinda pissed me off. Autumn's been very real with me and Jake's been so active and apologetic in my pms. My dream is now to vote Sam off next and have John/Dane/Me/Autumn/Jake vote Julia after that. Maybe Rebecka too after. Then vote off Jake/Autumn. I'm super super tight with Haley, Dane, Coffey. I obviously know Coffey/Dane from my past but idk, I want to play and work with Haley because she's cool and new. I think I'd give Coffey 4th place. Go f3 Haley/Dane, and if it's a F2 I'll figure it out later. But i doubt I'll ever get there!! I bet Sam will win the F9 immunity ffs i hope not.

hey!! flopbecka here (@ashley the jingle jingle reindeer is anywhere hi!! thx for hating me im so happy to use the name u gave me <3 ) so i still dont know wtf is happening in the game, im in like a 6 person chat that i thought was just to get ned out, and now i think its like actually a real alliance chat? im confused af idk. I really want to work with autumn in this game and i just hope she still wants to after i didnt fill her in on the ned vote so woo go team 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOKbOoj7yo0&t=6s