#but i literally cannot focus anymore without caffeine!

[apfelhalm]

I've watched the Hidden Inventory/Premature Death arc 3 (three) fucking times now I am going insane with feelings and I don't know where to put them aaaaaaah

[restingdomface]

Some info for those of you writing characters that can’t be effected by caffeine or can’t have it anymore: I used to be a ‘one pot a day’ person. Not because I needed to wake up, but because I have major ADHD and it would calm my brain down so I could focus on things. I would sip at fancy vanilla milky brews all day, and even dark coffee wasn’t all that gross to me, but I preferred sweet in the end. Basically I had never had an actually gross coffee before.

Well. This year, I started two medications that not only took care of my need to be calmed down (since both of them have sedative qualities to them and I spent a straight months never waking up fully tbh and doing quite literally nothing but exercise, sleep, and eating with zero brain power for hobbies in between) but also, these pills changed my taste buds. In fact, they both changed my taste buds individually on their own, since I started them both at different times.

Anyways. I miss coffee. I miss the taste of a sugar free but tastes like starbucks vanilla frappe full of milk and happiness. I miss that shit. Hell, I even miss taking a sip of dark coffee without anything added just because that’s about my max for dark coffee but it’s such an interesting flavor. I had favorite brands and I had a sugar free (I have allergies and sugar is a cross-contamination of one of them) heaven in a cup down pat.

Well. I cannot stand coffee anymore. It doesn’t matter what I add to it, it doesn’t matter if I use my fave brand, it doesn’t matter if it’s professionally made, it doesn’t matter for anything. It’s all shit. It tastes like bitter sadness. It’s full of evil and tastes burnt. It’s horrible. I have been drinking this shit since I was 5 and would steal my mom’s coffee cause she got fancy vanilla too and then I would take a nap because I’ve been self medicating since I was born. I am used to coffee. But now I cannot stand it, and it makes me so sad y’all got no idea.

So. Basically. No. Coffee isn’t an adult thing. It’s not a ‘you get used to it’ thing. It’s not even something you have to add the right creamer and flavor to thing.

You either have the taste buds for it, or you don’t. I don’t anymore. I wish I still did, because I miss it, but if I was drinking caffeine I would nap seven times a day on top of my pills.

So it doesn’t matter if caffeine doesn’t effect you, or doesn’t wake you up, you can still drink it, and when it’s gone, even if it tastes like rancid meat, you miss it because that’s one less drink you have the option of. Is caffeine an addiction? Yeah, and it’s one I haven’t even given up cause I can still have tea, but that’s not what makes you miss coffee. You either like it, or you don’t. I used it. Now I don’t. I still miss it.

[becausehecheats]

Tell us ur headcanons about Deidara sleeping! Or anything else ya feel like!!

(sweatdrops) i swear this is still a death note blog

you can tell how stressed deidara is by how he sleeps. he’s more or less always under a pressure cooker, but he sleeps differently depending on how much more or less stress he has. at his normal stress levels, he sleeps like archie does in this picture (original art by tumblr user barbwalken; couldn’t find the link to the post on their blog tho)--sprawled out all over the bed, sometimes at a funny angle, hand dangling off the edge with tongue from hand-mouth flopping out and drooling. it’s funny to contrast this with how sasori sleeps on the bed next to him, since his body is as stiff as a mummy, and never moves an inch. (side note: i’m a Slut for sasodei. but my poor blond bomber son can’t, can’t, can’t even share a bed with his danna because of how much he kicks--not to mention how damn hard. you may think he’s skinny and scrawny and can’t do close-range combat, but we’ll see who gets the last laugh when he unconsciously kicks you across the room while he dreams of beating the shit from itachi.)

in contrast, when he’s SUPER stressed, he tends to sleep more like cyrus does in the picture i linked to (curled in a ball, sometimes hands curled over his head). this is because he views sleep as the time of day when he inevitably has to release all of his pent-up tension; he usually stays awake until he can’t anymore and straight-up flops over exhausted and unable to move on the bed. but when he’s so tense he can’t even flop down on a cushy mattress like he knows he should, his body will freeze in that position with all that stress building inside him. like his mun he suffers from Too Fucking Angry To Sleep Syndrome, as well as its variants Too Fucking Anxious and Too Fucking Excited. if you see deidara curled in a ball on his bed, 70% chance he’s going to have a sleepless night.

as for how much sleep he gets, and when he sleeps? 3-5 hours every night, usually starting at 3-4 am. pulling all-nighters isn’t uncommon for him, especially if he’s inspired by something and can’t stop blowing stuff up (thus resulting in all-nighters for the entire rest of akatsuki). as for how he stays awake this whole time? like his mun he survives on pure adrenaline, but unlike his mun who can’t hold her caffeine for shit, he very much enjoys his cups of chakra-spiked coffee. also, to once again contrast with sasori: sasori can literally fall asleep at will. for deidara, it takes about 1-2 hours to fall asleep, if he falls asleep at all.)

misc. headcanons since i’m on a roll (cw for violence, abuse and murder):

since his explosion release kekkei genkai is comprised of earth and lightning elements, it would go without saying that he’s also proficient in quite a few earth and lightning release jutsu, both of which he uses as partners to explosion in his art. he LOVES making earthquakes, and he’s awed by the ephemeral beauty of lightning. this is where i diverge from the anime, since omitting this detail i consider as a major oversight by kishimoto: in order to make up for his lightning weakness, he uses his own lightning techniques to create pure lightning explosions. in a verse where he lives past the tragic age 19 at which he died, i can also see him developing an affinity for either wind or fire (i only want to pick one though because i don’t want to give him TOO many of the elements).

adding onto that, he’s really not a water person. he’s tried his hand at water jutsu before when he was studying to be a chunin. he just. he can’t.

the mouths on his hands and chest have no throats and cannot swallow, but they do have partially developed vocal cords. back when he first got them, deidara had to strain to stop them from copying all his swearwords like parrots. the hand mouths cooperated; the more intelligent chest mouth did not. and that, my friend, is part of the reason why he stitched it up.

the mouths on his hands also have tastebuds, so they can taste the clay. deidara actually likes the taste. his most embarrassing secret is that sometimes he chews his own detonating clay in his actual mouth like bubble gum. it helps him concentrate.

he has a piece of land not too far from the akatsuki base that he continuously earthquakes, lightnings, and explodes as an experimental art piece which he calls “the transience of nature.” he’s made the nearby (non-ninja) village so superstitiously scared of the place that they think it’s cursed.

he enjoys casual, reckless sex with people he barely knows. he knows he’s probably fathered a few children here and there, but he doesn’t give a flying fuck about any of them.

kurotsuchi is his little sister, making him the grandson of the tsuchikage. this put a ridiculous amount of pressure on him that helped sculpt him into the angry shit he is today.

his mother--the former captain of iwagakure’s explosion corps--was abusive to him for having divergent views on art, sex and gender, and his father more or less sat by while it happened. to get revenge on both, he attempted to blow them up when he left his village. his father was further away, and got knocked unconscious; he received a concussion and was also rendered deaf in one of his ears. however, deidara succeeded in killing his mother. kurotsuchi’s last memory of their mother was picking up her pieces.

though at first he drew affirmation from the shinobi system, he now resents it for training him only to fight wars and not leaving room for him to pursue his artistic passions. it’s because of this that he takes a unique kind of sadistic vengeful pleasure in bombing the non-ninja cities of various nations. they invented the village and shinobi system so that “magical” people like him could be exploited by “nonmagical” people for protection, so now in his bitterness he will turn that on them. if he could change one thing about the ninja world, it would honestly be--give children with chakra control abilities the option to not be ninjas. he’s glad he’s a ninja now because it gives him the strength he needs for revenge. but if he could choose a perfect life, fighting wouldn’t be a part of it, only art.

his mother was indifferent toward his prodigious art abilities until ninja training started getting more serious, after which she was determined to stamp out his artistry so he could focus on being the ninja prodigy that his prestigious lineage demanded from him. she destroyed many of the pieces he worked hard on--whether clay, painting, calligraphy, what have you. he deliberately blows up all his pieces nowadays to cope with his abuse by acting it out.

the first time he tried to grow his hair out, his mother grabbed him + pinned him down with such force that she bruised him, then frenzily sliced it off with a kunai because she didn’t want an “effeminate” son. nowadays touching his hair is one of his Berserk Buttons, just as much as insulting his art--it’s basically on the level of a trauma trigger. try it and he has no qualms about leaving you a bloody mess on the wall, especially if you’re a hairstylist--he cuts his own damn hair, and even then he only does it when the split ends start getting noticeable. when he’s on his casual flings he even tells his partners not to touch it, though his partners are drawn to how beautiful and soft it looks; he’s strangled those who are stupid enough not to listen. nobody except for him touches his hair. not after what his mother did to it.

[geminidailyfacts]

20 Struggles Only Gemini's Understand.

1.You are so good at seeing both sides of anything that sometimes you find yourself having talked into a circle and you’re like, what do I even feel anymore? 

2. Actually, you’re so good at seeing both sides that you’re almost too good at it. You can change your position on a whim, but are not wishy-washy; you genuinely believe different things on different days. 
 3. You are the most talkative person you’ve ever met. Your greatest party trick that all your friends are sick of by now is your ability to have an opinion on anything that’s ever existed in the history of life. 

4. You overanalyze with the same fervency as someone who is trying to cure cancer and you constantly want to know why people do the things that they do and then, once you know why, you want to dissect it, much to the detriment of the friends you have that are not Geminis and are like, do you ever stop thinking? To which the answer is no, you never stop thinking. 

5. Forget PMS, you are moody on the regular. Peace be to whoever dates you because whoa do they have their hands full. 

6. Moody or not, you are such a delight to be around that you will seduce any potential lover with such wit and charm that, by the time they realize your duality, they’ll be like, “I don’t even care, you make me feel young and alive. I can forgive you for acting like you are Mary-Kate and Ashley at the same time.” 

 7. You never need coffee because you are constantly on a caffeine high that cannot ever be cooled down. 

 

8. You are the center of attention wherever you go, whether you like it or not. People are acutely attracted to you, which on the one hand feels great, but on the other, you need to decompress like anyone else, so you cancel plans seriously all the time, which makes you feel like kind of a jerk, so the next time you see those people you feel compelled to double up on the charm. 

9. You are so open-minded that it’s actually difficult for you to conceive how anyone hates anyone else, which makes you sad for humanity (also, because you’re dramatic). 10. Your entire life follows this cycle: start new routine, do new routine for two weeks, stop new routine because you are bored, get mad at yourself for stopping your routine, start new routine, do new routine for two weeks, stop new routine because you are bored, AND REPEAT UNTIL YOU DIE, APPARENTLY. 

 11. You avoid boredom so much that you create stupid drama in your life just to have something to focus on, which is not fun, but hey, at least you’re not bored. 

12. At some point, someone wanted to put you on Ritalin because you were/are the most ADD person in the entire world. 

13. When you try to make a decision, it’s Sophie’s Choice levels of intense up in your mind. You have the incredible ability to talk yourself in and out of every decision you need to make, many times letting opportunities pass you by just to avoid the insanity that is trying to decide something for yourself. 

14. You have the incredible ability to skim a Wikipedia entry about something then talk about it as if you are a scholar on that subject. The real struggle is when someone wants to talk deeper about it and you’re like, “Ummmmmmmmm, BYEEEEE” 
 15. Your frenetic energy can seriously stress people the fuck out.

 16. At any given time, you are starting or abandoning 5-10 projects. It’s not that you’re totally flighty (you are, though, let’s be real), it’s really that you have so many interests you just don’t know where to put your time and energy. (That sounds better than the real fear Geminis have that they are perhaps just never ever going to finish anything fucking ever.) 

17. You abhor conventionality almost as much as you abhor boredom, which can be exhausting sometimes because you’re always trying to go against the tide and sometimes, honestly, you just wanna float and go with the tide and eat froyo like the basic bitch you envy, because their life is so simple. 

18. When people say that a good salesperson can “sell ice to an eskimo,” they were definitely talking about a Gemini. 

 19. You can make someone really interested in you without trying too hard, but then change your mind on a dime and be like, “Nope, sorry, lost interest, bubye.” 

20. You literally lost focus while reading this list.