#but i like how it turned out ! i've been hating how everything i draw turns out lately guhhh
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izudeeilo · 1 day ago
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You can study me
Sero hanta smau
volley-ball player sero x art student fem!reader, no quirks au, college au.
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a/n before you go on! there's going to be more pictures throughout this part, so when you see the divider (yellow line), stop and go back to the reading part :)
Senior year is finally here! You thought that this time, the teachers would be more lenient with you and your classmates, but not at all. In fact, they even got stricter... They assigned you a half year-long work, which would be worth 30% of your final grade. What does the work consist of, you ask? Making a complete study of the life of a student you need to pick and paint it.
But... you can't pick a friend.
Part.5 • Part 7 (soon)
Part 6
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Ever since he sent you that message you’ve been anxious of what he had in mind. You couldn’t stop thinking about it and hated that you had to wait the whole weekend for it. He hasn’t texted you since and your head was overflowing with scenarios.
“I think I'm going to go insane” you say groaning as you walk in the kitchen where the girls were cooking together.
“It’s going to be fine you drama queen. It’s not the first time you hang out without any plans” Himiko says while chopping vegetables.
You cross your arms and lean on the doorframe. “But it feels like it's more than this, he hasn’t even texted me since” you retort.
Throwing your head back with another groan, you approach the counter and take a piece of cut cucumber.
“Listen, it’s Hanta okay. There’s nothing to worry about” Mina comes up to you and puts her hand on your shoulders. “So stop your drama, and we’ll soon clear your mind with our little girl time mmh” she tilts her head with a reassuring smile.
You sigh and laugh. “You’re right, now that I admitted that I liked him, I've been overthinking every small thing he does…”
“So you do still have some sense left in you” Ochaco turns to you both with a smirk.
“Oh shut up” you roll your eyes. “Now what do you need help with” you ask, rolling your sleeves up.
You and the girls were now having a little party every weekend when you didn't have anything else planned. You cooked and baked together, chose a movie to watch while sipping a glass of wine. Pretty cliché yes, but don’t clichés always end up being the best.
At the end of the night, you all go back to your rooms and as you lay down on your bed slightly tipsy, you grab your phone and open your discussion with Hanta and just type.
You
made me anxious whole weekend dumbass
You woke up the next day thankful classes were canceled today, so you could prepare yourself mentally before 6pm came. You were of course excited to spend the evening with him but you just had that weird gut feeling that something was going to happen.
As you slowly got ready, showering, finding a simple and comfortable but still cute outfit, you were left sitting on the couch. It was only 3pm and you decided to draw some composition ideas for the painting.
”What are you working on?” Ochaco walks in with two cups of hot chocolate, handing one to you. You smile and thank her, sipping on the warm drink.
”Trying out some composition for the painting. Pinpointing where everything is going to be you know”
“It’s ending soon right?” she asks, seating next to you.
“Actually, our teacher realized she may have been too hard on us and gave us the whole year.” you chuckle.
“Wait what— How come I didn't hear about this?!” she straightened herself.
“She sent us an email quite late in the night. Some sense got knocked in her head at 2am I guess” you laugh.
”That’s great! More time with Hanta” she elbows you and chuckles.
”Stop…” you say shyly, hiding your face with your hand.
“Do I look good?” you ask worriedly as you show off your outfit.
”For the hundredth time… Yes you look great” all three of your friends sigh dramatically.
You’ve been running around between your room, the bathroom and the living room to make sure you were looking good. You knew it had to be a simple hang out but couldn’t help the amount of stress you had inside you. And before you knew it, the sound of the doorbell echoed in your apartment and the girls immediately went into hiding.
You shook your head at their silliness and went to open the door thinking to yourself. This is Hanta, it’s going to be fine, nothing is happening.
As you open the door, you see him standing there with a smirk on his face but you could see the crease between his eyebrows, indicating he was nervous. He looks you up and down and you can see him gulp before taking a breath.
“Ready to go?”
“Been waiting forever” you walk out the door and roll your eyes teasingly and he guides you down to his car. Once you get there, he opens the door for you.
”What a gentleman we have there” you tease.
”You doubted it?”
”Never”
After a few minutes he parked his car in front of a quite big building.There was no indicative sign of what the building was, it only had two wide doors in the front. He gets out first and helps you out of the car.
”So what are we doing?”
”You’re so impatient, wait a few more seconds” he ruffles your hair.
”Well if you had texted me, maybe i wouldn’t be so lost. “your words come out a bit more bitter than you wanted to.
You walk through the reception with him and he grabs your hand and asks you to close your eyes.
”Hanta seriously…”
“Come on, hermosa just a few more seconds.” he pouts and you couldn’t resist.
Guiding you through a corridor, he opens the door and you can feel the breeze hitting you again in the face. He stops and walks behind you.
“You can open your eyes now”
You take a deep breath and open your eyes. You are greeted by an empty ice skating rink. No one, absolutely no one was here. Small lights were hanging all around the rink, you could hear a song quietly in the background that you recognise to be Just like Heaven by The Cure.
You turn your head to Hanta, mouth agape. You had no idea what to say, did he set everything up himself. Did he ask to privatize the whole ice rink for you two?
”Hanta this…this is absolutely crazy. Did— did you do that all by yourself?” you ask.
”Well I’ve had help but it was my idea yeah…” he rubs his neck nervously. “You like it?”
“Like it? Hanta I love it! This is incredible” you ran to his arms hugging him. He’s taken back but hugs you back almost instantly.
After breaking the embrace, he grabs your hand again.
“Shall we?”
“We shall.”
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You don’t think you’ve ever had that much fun before. This was truly like something out of a movie. You and Hanta were both skating for god knows how long, dancing along to the playlist he had made for the occasion and you couldn’t help but fall even more for the boy.
How could you not honestly. He’s all you had ever dreamed of and he keeps showing you that everyday. As you hold hands you can’t help but have a constant smile on your face.
Hanta kept glancing at you and his eyes softened anytime you looked at him with that sparkle in your eyes or with that pretty smile of yours. He keeps going back to the day you first met and how everything had evolved between the two of you ever since.
All thanks to that assignment you had been given. He never felt luckier than right now.
He spins you around just to hear that laugh he wishes to hear for the rest of his life. And as you continued to skate around, he let go of your hand and you slid away, without realizing he wasn’t by your side anymore.
The lights suddenly shut off but came back a second later, less bright this time. As you turn around, you see Hanta a bit further away from you and the song changes.
Can’t Take My Eyes of You by Frankie Valli begins playing at a low volume and you hide your face in your hands trying to hold in your chuckle and the warmth that was spreading to your cheeks. Surely this wasn’t real right, you had to be dreaming.
When you look back up, Hanta was right in front of you. A dorky smile is present on his face as he holds a bouquet of flowers tightly in his hands.
You can’t help the wobbly smile that spreads across your face as you both stare at each other before Hanta begins talking.
“First of all I’m sorry for not texting you at all this weekend. I may have been as nervous as you and maybe even more because I wanted everything to be perfect.” He chuckles and you continue smiling at him.
”Fuck..uh” he struggled to find words when you looked at him like that.
“I don’t think I can hide how I feel anymore. Ever since we first met, you’ve been the only thing on my mind and I only wanted to get to know you more. The more time we spent together, the more this feeling grew.” he looks down before looking back up.
”You brighten up every single one of my days and…” he stops for a moment but you continue looking at him adoringly. Heart beating fast you think it might get out of your chest. It seems like time had stopped before he continued.
”I love you y/n… Te amo querida.”
You feel your eyes getting wet so you take your hand to wipe them away but you suddenly feel Hanta’s hand caress your cheek and wipe a falling tear with his thumb.
”You okay?” he asks worried.
You nod reassuringly. “Never been more okay.”
”I love you too Hanta” you respond back through a half chuckle and sob.
He softly puts down the bouquet before wrapping his arms around your waist, taking you off the ground and spinning you around. Surprising you as he still had his ice skates on. He puts you back on the ground and asks.
”Can I kiss you?”
”Of course you idiot”
I love you baby and if it’s quite alright I need you baby…
His hands held both of your cheeks tenderly before he plants his lips on yours. You were quick to wrap your hands around his neck, pulling him closer to you. One of his hands slowly moved to wrap itself around your waist. Your mouths moving slowly in a perfect tender rhythm. He couldn’t pull away, you were too sweet for that. And as you moved your hands into his hair he felt like he was in heaven. You pulled away for a second to breathe and chuckle at your flushed faces before his lips found their way back to yours. Snow was falling all around you and as the slow kisses turned fast you both got lost in the moment.
His lips finally parted from yours after a while. Panting and heavy breaths were all you were hearing as you looked at each other.
“Does that mean I’m yours mi amor” he breaks the silence.
“What do you think…”
”I don’t know, maybe it was just a friendly kiss.” he jokes.
”Oh you’re such an idiot. I hate you”
”You know you love me” he grins, pulling you closer if that was even possible.
“Yes. Yes I do”
After that, he wanted to immortalize this day. So Hanta brought you to the nearest photo booth and had you both take the cutest pictures ever.
“Come on this is going to be fun” he urges you.
You take off your coats and begin posing. You laugh and make the silliest faces. Bringing his face to yours, you pepper his cheek with kisses.
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He drives you back to the apartment and both of you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. You were still in his car, the only difference was that you were now sitting on his lap. The kisses grew deeper and he couldn’t let go of you. He became obsessed the moment he had a taste of you. You tug slightly at his hair as you feel him bite your bottom lip before going back to kiss your already swollen lips.
“Hanta…” you whisper when you pull back from him.
”Yes mi vida…” He places soft kisses at the nape of your neck, eyes not leaving yours.
“It’s getting late. I should go” you caress his cheek.
”Already…what time is it?” He reaches for his phone and reads the time. 11:05pm.
Hanta groans and settles his head on your chest as you begin playing with his hair. Staying in that position for a few more minutes before you plant a small kiss on his head and get back to the passenger seat. You put your coat back on and hear Hanta open his door. You get ready to get out with the bouquet in your hands but he beats you to it and opens your door before bending down and wrapping his arms behind your back and knees.
”Hanta, what are you—“ you make a small noise as he slightly adjusts you on his arms. He closes the car door with his legs and locks it.
“Up you go” he smiles down at you and you roll your eyes.
He takes you up the stairs and to your front door. He sets you down and you search for your keys.
“Thank you for today Hanta” you say, opening the door quietly.
You set the bouquet on the table before turning back to him.
”I’ll see you soon” you wrap your arms around his shoulders and plant a sweet kiss on his lips one last time.
“Dream of me amor” he winks at you and steals another kiss before making his way to the stairs. You begin to turn around but stop yourself in your tracks when you see him kissing his hand and sending the “kiss” to you.
You chuckle quietly and mimic grabbing the kiss and planting it on your cheek and watch him smile like a little kid. Only then you truly go back to your apartment and close the door with a smile on your face.
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a/n i finished this at 2 am...i'm going to sleep hope you enjoy this longer part!
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vaintrdraws · 9 days ago
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Ogata and his Ogakittens
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0509-brainrot · 2 years ago
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shake up that brain
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peachesofteal · 6 months ago
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Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader #33 Ghost helps fix up your house or makes repairs - for @glitterypirateduck's Ghost writing challenge
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His phone rings again on the following Tuesday morning.
It's been a day and a half, since he's seen you and Orion last. Since he made you promise to call, no matter what, if you needed something. Or if you needed a break, or some company.
Anything. Anything, and he'd be there.
You had tried to push him off a bit, tried to assert your independence, which he appreciates, he values. He likes to know you can take care of yourself and the baby when he's not here. But when he is-
"We're really fine, you know. You don't have to be... available for us, whenever. I mean, like if you have other things. Or people, you don't have to be here all the time. I've been doin' it on my own, and I'm fine. We're fine. I don't want you to feel like you have to-"
His fork clatters to the plate, and your eyes go round as he rises from the chair and steps toward you, firm hand cupping your arm. "I'm here because I wan' to be."
"O-okay, I just don't want you to be here because you think you have to... because you're all the sudden saddled with a kid."
"I'm not here because I feel like 've been saddled with a kid. I'm here because I want to be, because I wanted you the night we made him, and I still do. I want you both." Your mouth drops wide before snapping shut abruptly, warmth rising in your cheeks. You're so cute like this, flustered and nervous, and it reminds him of the night he met you, a sweet little kitten, all alone at the bar. "And you've done more than just a fine job, sweet girl, takin' care of yourself and our baby for me, but when 'm here, it's my job."
So, his phone rings, and it doesn't matter that he's in the middle of spotting Soap at the squat rack.
He drops everything.
"Hi." You're a little out of breath when you open the door, eyes wide and wild, chewing on your lip. Orion is asleep in your arms, blissfully unaware, head lolling on your shoulder, clad only in a diaper.
His head buzzes, still trying to reconcile the truth of this entire thing, the fact that this is his, you and his baby. His.
"What's wrong?" He's massive in your door frame, and ushers you back inside, clicking the lock into place behind him. "What's goin' on?"
"It's... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called. I just... I don't know how to fix it and you said I could... call, right? So-"
"Hey." His thumb gently presses into the inside of your elbow, and then he squeezes slightly. "It's okay. I want you to call me. What is it?"
"It's the laundry." You blurt, and then freeze, eyes flicking down to see if Ry has woken up. "I broke the washer, and today is the day I do the baby's clothes, but I can't get it to work and... it hates me." He chuckles.
"It doesn't hate you, sweetheart. Let's take a look." This, he can do. Things with his hands, mechanical things, physical puzzles, easy. It's not the first time he'll have fixed an appliance, and it won't be the last.
He takes the machine apart as quickly as possible, pieces laid out exactly where he needs them, washers and screws and everything all accounted for. It's the belt, he discovers rapidly, an easily fixed problem with a new part.
"I'll have to run down the street quick," he tells you, drawing up to his full height and motioning towards the entryway, "but it's a quick fix." You nod, stepping out of the way, small smile on your lips. He promises he'll be right back, that he'll have it done in no time, and you pad along to the door, standing back as he pulls it wide.
"Simon..." you whisper, and he turns, "thank you."
"Of course."
True to his word, he's back before the hour. The low murmur of the TV echoes from the living room, and he gravitates there before returning to his task, driven to lay eyes on both of you, to make sure you're here, you're okay-
and the sight of it stops him in his tracks.
You're asleep on the couch, shirt pulled up and bra unhooked from it's strap. Orion is cradled against your chest, his tiny fingers curled in the flesh of your breast, mouth lax around your nipple. There's a dribble of milk sliding down his cheek, and the sight of it all makes Simon dizzy. He knew you nursed him, but seeing it for the first time fills him with something he's not sure how to reconcile, adding onto the heap of adoration and possession pounding in his heart. It's a different kind of puzzle, the same kind of barbaric instinct and need roaring in his blood, the one that tells him to tuck you away and never let you go.
He stares for a second longer, scratching this moment into his memory as much as he can before he realizes how tired you are. You do a good job of hiding it, smiling and buzzing about, but in the early afternoon light, he can see the exhaustion so clearly, and kicks himself for not noticing sooner.
When Ry starts to fuss, your brow furrows in your sleep, and Simon can't stop himself. "Shh, shhh." He soothes, pulling him free as gently as he can. You twitch, hands searching, and then your head snaps up in a panic, breaths stuttered. "It's okay. I got him, you just closed your eyes, is all. It's alright."
"Sorry." You croak, sitting up and fumbling with your top. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"It's okay, mama." He's on his knees in front of the couch, in front of you, and you stare down at him, mystified. "What does he usually do after he eats?"
"Uh... burp? And then he goes down to sleep." You yawn. "A change, if he needs it."
"Alright, 've got it, you go rest. After I put him down, I'll finish the washer."
"Oh, no... I can-"
"I've got him. Nothin' I can't handle." He shifts Orion, supporting his head as he props him up over his shoulder, rubbing his back slowly. He wants to do this, wants you to let him do this, wants you to trust him.
He needs it.
You hesitate. "Are you sure?"
"If I need anythin', I'll wake you." There's a burp cloth on the coffee table, and he places it under Ry's chin. "Huh, lad? If we need mama, we'll get her, right?" You soften, posture relaxing a bit, and then you nod.
"Alright, then."
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daddy-issues-99 · 1 year ago
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Venom x Reader Smut
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In my last poll y'all voted for a Venom fanfic and I got the message 😏
Plot: you want to shower but feel uncomfortable with Venom watching you and iykyk
Afab reader, shower sex, size kink, biting, blood, fingering, praise, a little degration, aftercare
The last few days had been pure hell. Nothing but conflict and a new roommate.
You sat curled up on your couch, knees held tight to your chest. You were so tired. You had been on alert for what seemed like days. All you wanted to do was shower and go to bed.
If only it were that simple. Everything you did was met with a deep voice inside your head. Every action, statement, movement; everything.
No way were you gonna try and shower with this thing looking at you and commenting on your every move.
You let out a sigh. You were so tired you didn't even care anymore. "Where are you going?"
"I'm talking a shower." "Finally, your thoughts were becoming annoying." This was gonna be a nightmare. You walked to the bathroom slowly discarding your clothes as you went leaving you just in your bra and panties when you got to the bathroom.
"You are a nice shape. I would rip you apart." He said as you turned on the shower. "You are such a fucking perv." You moved your hands to the hem of your panties wanting to take them off only to stand their blushing. You felt so exposed.
"Well?" He asked wondering why you just stood there. "You're making me nervous. This is to embarrassing." You said bringing your hands to cover your face.
As soon as your hands left your sides two black tendrils quickly pulled your underwear down. Before you could even react he had done the same to your bra, throwing them to the side.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You yelled trying to cover your exposed figure.
"I am in your head. I am apart of you. I have already seen every part of your body." You just stood there baffled. "Don't be embarrassed, your look lovely. Go on, I won't judge darling."
You blushed at the comment. His voice made it even harder to remain neutral.
You carefully stepped into the shower and closed the door behind you. You let out an instant sigh of relief the minute the hot water made contact with your skin.
"You are relaxed." He stated in a matter of fact tone. "This is the most relaxed I've felt in days." You said rinsing shampoo out of your hair. "Why? You have no reason to be stressed." "I'm stressed because of you jackass!" You yelled with sarcasm in your voice.
In an instant you were pinned up against the shower wall as black tendrils fell into the floor forming a large figure with large teeth and bright white eyes. Small tendrils keeping the two of you conneced. His hand quickly went to your throat making sure you couldn't move.
"How dare you. I have given you an amazing opportunity and you insult me. You don't deserve my partnership." He said tightening his grip around your throat causing you to hold your thighs together.
He slowly looked down to see your thighs held tightly together. His face contorted into a wide smile. "Something you find amusing pet?" He asked squeezing your throat causing you to let out a small moan.
"Such a pathetic thing. Can't even answer a question." "I-Im not pathetic." You said trying to talk with his hand squeeze your airway. "Oh really? You say you hate me and yet your arousal is showing my darling." "I'm- I'm not-" "You can't hide how you truly feel. I'm a part of you. I can feel every sensation you do. Every thought that goes througg your head I see. Now tell me my darling, what do you want?"
"You."
"Good girl."
Venom leaned down to your neck leaving a trail of small bite marks just enough so it would draw blood which he happily licked up with his long tounge.
"This is going to hurt." He said before opening his jaw as wide as possible and biting your shoulder, his teeth sinking into your flesh. You screamed only for his free hand to quickly cover your mouth.
He licked up the blood and leaned back to see his work. "This mark will forever symbolize that You. Are. Mine. Do you understand?" You quickly nodded you head as a tear ran down your cheek. "Good."
With that the remaining tendrils still attached to your body quickly healed the bite leaving only the scars from his teeth.
"Please" "Please what?" He asked towering over you once more "Please touch me!" You whined.
"So desperate. I think you'll like this." With that he directed your head down to where his tendrils formed into a large cock. Your eyes widened in shock. "V, how is that gonna fit?"
"We'll just need a little extra help." His hand moved down to your clit rubbing slow painful circles. You head fell into his chest as you let out breathy moans.
"Look at you, so desperate for me. Pathetic." He let out a low laugh continuing his assault on your clit. "I-Im not-" You cried out and buried your head back in his chest, gripping his shoulders as he quickly inserted one of his large fingers inside you.
"You were saying?" He said contorting his face into a smirk. "Mm fuck you." "Oh I intend to. Or shall I stop?" He said as he began to pull away from you. "No! I-I'm sorry just please touch me!" "As you wish."
He continued his pace as he added another finger. Every thrust was pure bliss and you could feel your orgasm building. "Cum for me pet." Venom quickened his pace hitting your cervix with the tips of his fingers. You cringed thinking what his cock would do.
The knot in your stomach finally came undone with Venom thrusting in and out of you as fast as he could letting you ride out your high.
You opened your mouth letting out a loud moan only to be silenced when a long tounge filled your mouth,going down your throat giving you a makeshift kiss triggering your gag reflex.
"You did wonderful my pet. " Venom pulled his fingers out bringing his hand down to his cock. He rubbed your juices on his cock as a makeshift lube to try to prevent as much pain as possible.
Venom listed you by your waist as you quickly wrapped your legs around his torso holding yourself close to him. He pushed you back up against the shower aligning his cock between your folds rubbing the tip at your entrance.
You let out a whimper. "Don't worry. You will be okay. If it's to much you can bite down on my shoulder." With that he slowly began to lower you down onto his cock. You screamed instantly biting down onto his shoulder trying to silence your screams. Venom didn't even respond.
He stopped when you had taken in as much as you could, still leaving some of his cock exposed. "Your so tight. Smaller than I thought." You didn't respond. Venom pressed you harder up against the wall and brought a hand up to brush through your hair. "You will be okay my darling."
He intertwined his hand in your hair slowly pulling your head back to look up at him. A tear ran down your cheek which he gently brushed off with his thumb. "Don't worry. If you need me to stop I will." He brought his forehead to rest against yours as you adjusted to his size.
After a moment you gave a small nod indicating that he could move. His thrusts were slow, only moving a few inches. At first it was painful but after a while it became pleasurable. You whined and buried your have in the crook of his neck.
He continued his thrusts slowly quickening his pace pushing himself as far in as he could. You quickly became a moaning mess, whispering curses of pleasure.
"Look at you. So needy, so pathetic. I love it." He roughly thrusted into you. "Say it." He said, his teeth gritted. "I'm pathetic! I'm nothing I'm pathetic!"
"Good girl." You buried your face in his neck, hiding the blush covering your face.
Venom continued his thrusts all concerns of being gentle thrown out the window. This was pure lust. Rough, sloppy thrusts. Every one hitting your sweet spot. You rolled your hips forward giving your clit more friction.
"V, I'm close." "Cum for me, cum on my cock. Prove I'm the only being who could ever bring you this much pleasure." Your gripped his shoulders as he quickened his thrusts, holding onto your hips tight enough to leave a bruise.
The knot in your stomach came undone. You screamed in pure pleasure as Venom continued his pace allowing you to ride out your high. Venom soon followed coating your walls with ropes of cum.
Venom pulled out of you setting you back down on your feet. You fell limp and Venom quickly wrapped his arms around you as you rested your head against his chest.
Venom shifted you so the shower watter was hitting your back. He grabbed the washcloth and some soap and began to gently wipe away the thin layer of sweat that had formed. He continued cleaning you off making sure to get every part of you and carefully rinced you off.
He turned off the focet and picked you up bridal style resting you on your sink. He grabbed a towel and wrapped in around you drying you off. He wrapped the towel around you and grabbed a hairbrush, slowly brushing your hair sending shivers down your spine.
You rested your head against his chest lazily trying to keep you eyes open. Venom gently caressed your hair whispering sweet nothings.
He picked you up, holding you close to his chest as you absentmindedly played with the hem of the towel. He gently placed you down on the bed giving you one final kiss as he slowly absorbed back into your body.
"I love you V." "I love you to my darling." With that a tendil quickly formed from your hip and pulled the blanket over you as you drifted off to sleep.
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rogueddie · 11 months ago
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It takes Steve an embarassingly long moment to realise that the spray isn't doing anything. He tries shaking it… nothing. He even checks by spraying it on his hand, shaking it again. Nothing.
He tries listening as he shakes it again and, though he's sure there's some product still left inside, nothing will come out.
He reluctantly throws it in the little trash can, just next to the toilet door. He doesn't bother rooting through the draws or cabinets either; he'd used the last of his emergency powder kit yesterday. There's nothing left.
He huffs, folding his arms, glaring at his reflection. Specifically at the very overgrown, bright blond roots of his hair.
It brings up the same anxiety he's been having for the past month. It's taken him a long time to save up for his usual hairdressers. He hadn't thought it would take so long but, with the kids and now Robin and Eddie, it shouldn't be that surprising.
Robin often pays a good chunk for things too, often paying him gas money, but it's usually him paying for everything. And now that he's paying rent in his own little appartment? He's not often left with that much at the end of the month.
He's starting to think it's not worth the trip. But he isn't going to start using box dye or anything cheap. He's spent a long time taking care of his hair, spent just as long struggling to find the right products too.
He doesn't even care that the kids and Robin mock him for it, he has great hair and, screw it, he's proud. He's not going to damage it by getting bad hair dye.
He's already booked his next hairdresser appointment for the next day, already saved up gas money too. He might as well ask for bleach instead, go back to his natural color and save himself from anymore days with overgrown roots.
He almost regrets the idea when he gets to work.
"Holy shit, you're a natural blond?" Robins grin looks almost painful with how wide it is. She's a little too excited for his comfort. "I don't know how I didn't guess before. This explains so much. How have you kept this hidden for so long? It's so light!"
"Don't you have work to do?" He bats her hand away when she, again, reaches for his hair.
"Not anymore. Why do you dye it? How did it grow out so much? When did you start hiding it? Did someone pressure you into it? They didn't make fun of you, did they? Because I will hunt them down and-"
"No one made me dye it or bullied me into it," he huffs. He can feel his attempt at a cool demeaner soften with how quickly she jumps to his defense. "I just... I never liked it. I don't think it suits me. Brunettes are cute."
"Are you dyeing it again?"
"Probably not. The hairdresser I go to isn't exactly cheap."
"You can get box dye at-"
"I'm not using box dye."
"It's not that bad, and if you really hate the blond-"
Steve swats at her when she reaches for his hair again. With a heavy sigh, he braces himself for the shift full of questions and jokes of 'betrayal'.
Like he suspected, they don't get much work done.
When Eddie comes in, towards the end of their shift, Steve is almost relieved.
"Stop bullying him without me," Eddie complains.
"Thank you," Steve says, whilst Robin boos. "What is it tonight? Movie night with Wayne or some of the kids?"
But Eddie is frozen, staring at his hair.
"I think he's broken," Robin says after a pause.
"You're blond?" Eddie blinks. "When did you go blond?"
"Always have been," Steve shrugs. "Just... not dyeing it anymore."
"Oh."
Steve and Robin stare at him. They share a glance after a moment.
"You here for a movie?" Steve asks.
"What? Me? No, I- just stopping by. And you're... yeah. I'm gonna- I've got to go. Wayne is waiting and... you know. Bye."
He turns around and practically runs out the store. His wheels squeal a little as he drives out, most likely breaking the speed limit.
"Did he just..." Robin starts, trailing off with a frown.
"Unbelievable," Steve shakes his head. "Just when I give up, he realizes that he likes me too! What the hell, Bob. Is he only into blonds or something?"
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theplumsoldier · 11 months ago
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sore loser
summary: the scales of your rivalry with joel miller tips in his favor as he calls out your mistake and you end up a loser. the classic "you hate your partner but fucks him anyway"
pairing: mean!joel miller x afab!reader
warnings: 18+ please and thank you, hate sex, rough vaginal sex, spitting, slapping, choking, fingering, squirting, sloppy/rough blow job, degradation, age-gap, begging, biting, mean!joel, forced orgasm & multiple orgasms, tasting joel's blood?? no aftercare please let me know if i missed anything!! (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
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You hated everything about him. You hated the way he looked, the way he spoke, and the way he walked. You hated how he was always confident, how he was always right, and the fact that he always knew which buttons to push. You hated how he was a better shooter than you, how he was better at finding supplies than you, and how he was better at tracking than you. You hated his salt-and-pepper beard, the curls in his hair, and his sun-kissed skin. You hated his brown eyes, his deep voice, and his large hands. You hated how he treated you like a child, how he called you "kid", and how he looked after you.
Most of all, right now, you hated that he shot the clicker before you managed to put a knife to its skull, how he made it look like you couldn't save yourself. He took the win and he got the point.
It was a game and you were losing this battle for dominance, and you hated losing to Joel Miller.
You had been biting your tongue so damn hard to keep yourself from stooping down on his level and the taste of blood lingered in your mouth for about 4 minutes before the last straw had been drawn.
Joel just couldn't stop himself from being an ass and work in yet another one of his snarky remarks.
"Get over yourself, Miller. I had it handled," you grumbled.
"Sure looked like it," he retorted sarcastically, making scattering noises as he dug through a crate in the warehouse.
The way he didn't even bother looking at you only made you more furious. "How the fuck do you think I survived this long on my own, huh? I've been—"
"Ask myself that every time I save your ass," he interrupted mockingly.
Your blood was boiling in your veins. He felt so fucking superior and it was driving you insane. You knew your worth, but for some reason, you had this crippling urge to prove yourself.
"Somebody needs to knock you off your fucking horse, Miller."
Joel chuckled grimly. "S'that right, sweetheart? Wanna give it a go?"
His infuriating words made you stand to your feet, and frankly, it excited Joel to see you acting like you might just do something about it.
With a groan he got up himself, easily towering over you. You swallowed harshly, jaw clenched.
Joel's face was set in a firm expression, dark eyes analyzing your face to predict your next move. It was a face-off.
There was a subtle smirk and you wanted to wipe it off so badly. This was entertaining to him—a challenge he joined, a game he played just for the kick of it.
You couldn't win a fight against him, you were smart enough to recognize that fact (at least for now). So you breathed out, your nervousness drawing out a shaky laugh.
"I hate you," you spat and turned around, sure you'd only dig a deeper hole for yourself if you looked at him any longer.
"That what you tell yourself when you dip your little fingers down between your legs?" he wondered aloud, not even testing the waters but diving head first into the lake of all your buttons that he planned to push: "Don't think I don't hear you moaning my name when you get off in the night."
Your eyes went wide and shame colored your cheeks pink. You hoped he wouldn't notice as your eyes shot daggers, completely dumbfounded, hoped your anger had already made your face red. You were at a loss for words, completely and utterly embarrassed.
The mixture of emotions compiled a message to your brain for you, and before you had a chance to regret it, you lashed out. Your hand stopped clenching and raised to deliver a well-deserved proper bitch-slap, but Joel caught your wrist. It all happened quickly, and it felt like you were watching on rather than being forced back against the wall, arms suspended against the cool and rough cement in his grasp.
Joel's head cocked, eyes blazing down at you. "You wanna try that again, sweetheart?"
The sudden close proximity made you involuntarily grind your hips forward.
"So that's what all this s'about, huh? You’ve been givin' me that bratty attitude 'cause ya got your panties in a twist?"
"Fuck you!" you snapped, the words seething through your grit teeth, leaving a bad aftertaste on your tongue.
"But that's what you want, innit sweetheart? Goin' around acting like I'm the devil's spawn, but really you just want a good fucking, yeah?"
You hated how he was always right.
Your arms strained in his grasp, writhing to get loose though the heat pooling between your legs protested. You enjoyed having him this close. You could smell him, see him.
"You're so fucking full of yourself, Miller," you snarled but had stopped trying to fight off his grip.
Joel chuckled down at you, tutting: "F’you wanna be full o' me, too, darlin', all you gotta do is ask nicely."
There was no fucking way he was actually offering to fuck you. It had to be a dream. A nightmare. But it wasn't. And he was offering exactly that, you realized as his head tilted. He was dead serious.
You knew it wasn't out of the good of his heart, so he must be wanting this, too. And if he needed it as much as you did, you were going to make him work for it.
You ground your hips into his again, this time very much on purpose.
"Tell me you don't want to bend me over right now, Miller," you leaned forward and whispered in his ear, letting your lips graze the soft flesh of his neck. His cock was hard against your cunt and he didn't do a thing to push you away. "Tell me you haven't just been dying to try out this tight pussy. An old man like you can't have had a proper fuck in ages."
He laughed. "Swallow your pride, sweetheart. You've never even been with a real man before, have ya? Always waltzin' around in your short skirts at the Byson, whoring yourself out for attention from those boys."
"Knew you'd been checking me out," you smirked, the movements of your hips now a consistent grind against him. "But you're right. And those boys can't help, they dunno how to handle me."
"I don't do charities, darlin'. F’you want me to fuck that shitty attitude out of ya, you're gonna have to prove yourself."
This time around, Joel pushed his clothed cock against your pussy and you knew what he wanted.
You wriggled your hands, inching closer to his face but never letting your skin touch. "Kinda difficult to get on my knees when you’re holding me like this, innit?"
Joel let go only to force you down on the ground, but you didn't protest. You had lost all filters, all of your arrogance as you were faced with his cock prodding at the zipper of his jeans.
Looking up as you eagerly undid his belt, you were pleased to see him inhaling deeply, proudly as he looked down on you. You pulled the zipper down, and your breath hitched as his cock saluted. He wasn't wearing underwear.
His cock was thicker than you had imagined, girthier than what you had felt while fingering yourself that night which he had so mockingly reminded you of. Long with a slight curve and a purple mushroom head unscathed. A drop of pre-cum covered the slit and you imagined it was crying for you.
"You gonna put that bratty little mouth to good use or do I gotta do that for you, too?"
Instinctively you glared up at him, giving him a look but it was washed away a second later as he took charge.
Grabbing a fistful of your hair, Joel forced you onto his cock, not giving you a second to wet your lips or spit on it. Harshly pushing you down on his cock, you found that it wasn't needed, there was plenty of saliva in your mouth to lubricate him. A whimper left you when his head hit the back of your mouth, your throat automatically constricting at the sudden intrusion. You felt your cunt mimic the reaction and clenched around nothing.
Joel was heavy in your mouth, the thickness making you worry the back row of your teeth would scrape him. If they did he didn't care, for when you looked up at him through teary eyes he was unconcerned.
He forcefully prodded against your throat, slipping in just enough to push further and you gagged.
Joel inhaled sharply. "S'a tight little throat you got there. Guess you haven't been whoring around as much as I thought," he chuckled, holding your face pressed firmly against him, your nose nuzzled in the patch of curls.
He held you there for a couple of seconds, allowing your throat to get adjusted despite acting seemingly careless about how you felt. A moment later he pulled you off by your hair, and you gasped hoarsely, blinking up at him through the tears slowly blurring your vision.
Hovering over you, Joel cupped your cheeks and lifted you slightly, bending down as he did. For a second you thought he was going to kiss you, but his fingers dug into your face, forcing your mouth open for him and he spat on your tongue, an obscene look on his face.
"Eyes on the price, sweetheart," he chuckled and landed you back on your knees.
With his hand holding you tightly by a makeshift ponytail, Joel pushed his cock back into your mouth and without warning, set a brutal pace sure to give you a headache. As slick gathered between your legs, a migraine was the least of your worries. You snaked a hand between your legs to relieve the tingling strain.
The breaths you were granted came in between the thrusts and you squeezed your eyes shut, feeling dizzy, prompting him to yank at your hair.
"Look at me," he grunted coarsely, voice going straight to your sex and you ground down hard on your hand, gasping for air. Joel admired your puffy lips, smeared with saliva, strings of drool connecting your mouth to the tip of his cock. "You look like a fuckin' mess, sweetheart. This what you been thinkin' about, hm? Been thinking 'bout acting like a little slut f'me, huh?"
His degrading words fueled your fire, both making you want to bite back at him and make him come down your throat. Opting for the latter, you tried to take him back in your mouth, wanting to put your adjusted throat to good use, but he yanked you back. A whimper left your lips and he slapped your cheek, forcing you to look at him.
"F'you know what's good for you, you'll answer when I ask you a question."
Wet and needy, you didn't hesitate. "Yes! Yes, Joel," you cried, one hand on his hip for purchase, the other hid between your legs, fervently toying with your clit. "Wanted you to treat me like a whore! Wa—wanted you to fuck me stupid!"
That's when he noticed your hand between your legs, eagerly seeking out friction. His brows connected in a crease of anger, and he had you on your wobbly legs one moment and hurled you onto a dirty surface the next.
"The fuck you think you're doin', huh? Touching yourself without permission?" Joel growled and for the first time his disappointment got to you.
He held you by your throat and you could feel the calluses in his palm scrape your skin.
"M'sorry—couldn't help myself," you babbled feverishly as he shoved a hand down your undone pants, feeling just what you had been so disrespectful to touch.
A guttural moan escaped him and you could have died just then, knowing you did that to him.
"Christ, sweetheart. You got this wet from chokin' on my cock, huh?" he mused absent-minded and you couldn't decide which you liked more; Joel calling you "sweetheart" or— "such a fuckin' slut.”
You were startled but thankful when he pulled down your jeans in one swift movement, exposing you to the cold air in the warehouse.
He didn't give you a warning before he plunged two fingers into your cunt, curling them against the velvety roof of your wet cave. Clawing onto his shoulder with a gasp of surprise, you instinctively tried to lift yourself and relieve the overwhelmingly intense feeling.
"Where you goin', sweetheart? This not what you wanted?" You desperately wanted to slap the grin off of his face, but he had you completely wrapped around his finger. Literally and figuratively. "Didn't you wanna be used like a little slut, hm?"
"Please," you begged, drawing the word out with a rugged moan and clutching to his shoulders. "Ff—uck!"
He fingered you at an unforgiving pace, three fingers and his palm slapping against your cunt each time. The squelches from your pussy resonated off the bare walls and if you hadn't been so focused on the pain mixing with pleasure, you would have been ashamed Joel was the one making you this wet.
"Joel!" you cried, tugging at the front of his shirt. "Plea-please! Need your cock!"
He choked you with his unoccupied hand, forcing your face inches from his. "Quit whinin' or I'll leave you 'ere," he threatened.
You looked up at him through hooded eyes, unable to comprehend your increasing lust for him from being this close. Joel's breath was hot on your face, breathing his air, you became dizzy from a mix of him and your impending orgasm.
"That's right, sweetheart, cream all o'er my fingers," he beckoned, feeling your contracting walls squeeze his fingers. Your legs were trembling, wanton moans spilling from your lips as Joel pulled an orgasm from you.
You incoherently begged him to fill you up, wanting nothing more than to milk his thick cock, but when he caught sight of your pleading eyes, he applied pressure to your clit instead. It was sore from the heel of his palm having slapped it repeatedly and it made you unable to come down from your high properly.
Your legs spasmed as his torturous fingers brutally skirted across your bundle of nerves. Before you could process what happened, a gush of pleasure sprayed from you.
Your cheeks flushed pink, realizing Joel had just made you squirt. You had never done that before, and you looked at him with an expression of surprise mixed with confusion. He looked proud.
Joel groaned as he stroked his throbbed cock, smearing the precum over the head while his other hand pushed down hard on your belly, holding you just at the edge of the table.
Stammering his name, your attempt at any sort of coherent sentence was foiled as he slid his girthy cock into your cunt.
Your eyes fluttered shut, walls clenching around him. You had never felt so full. "Joel—" you shuddered, gripping his bicep for purchase.
A string of curses left his lips, a crease knitting his brows together in concentration. "Fuckin' hell, sweetheart, s'a tight lil' hole ya got 'ere."
Joel wanted to take a moment just then, revel in the sweet clench of your pussy, catch his breath but he knew you would notice. As much as he had a hidden desire to ruin every other man for you and have you tail him like a lost puppy, he refused to acknowledge how overdue this was.
He didn't give you another second to adjust before he rocked his hips back and slammed his cock back into you. If you thought his fingers hit a spot, his cock fucking destroyed that.
You couldn't even form moans properly as his hips rutted at a bruising pace, expertly molding your cunt to fit him. His face contorted and he grumbled something under his breath, but you didn't care to ponder what as he filled you up. You were still dazed from the previous orgasms and it was like he wouldn't allow you to come down. Your ragged breaths, his grunts, and the wanton sounds of skin slapping filled your head as you soared around on cloud nine.
A large hand snuck under your shirt, the calluses on his palm rough against your skin but you loved the feeling as he squeezed your breast, thumb and index pinching your nipple.
Your knuckles turned pale from clutching down hard on his shoulders, fingernails clawing indents at the exposed skin on his neck and collar.
You hoped the crescents would outlast this moment, that Joel would curse at the sight the next time he looked in a mirror. You hoped he wouldn't be able to get this moment out of his head then, not ever, thinking back to this moment whenever he would see the scars you left on him.
A hiss escaped you and tore the thought of making your mark out of your mind. His deft fingers were rubbing your sore clit once again.
There was determination on his face and animalistic hunger in his dark eyes—he looked as if there was no getting through to him, like he was stuck in a world of his own.
Whether he insisted on drawing orgasm after orgasm out of you for your pleasure or his ego, you did not know. Joel always had something to prove—to himself or the people around him, it was another thing about him you didn't know. In this moment, as he chased every high for you, you didn't care either.
You hated him for making you feel this good. Hated him for making you moan in pleasure, hated him for making your legs shake uncontrollably. You wanted to taunt him, crack a spiteful comment about his age or something, let him know he wasn't doing as well as he thought—but he was. You could lie, but your body would betray you.
There was no snide comment left in you as Joel's hips pistoned into yours. It felt too good. He felt too good.
"S'too much," you gasped and held onto his shoulder, not pushing him away but not pulling him any closer either. "I can't."
The pressure on your clit was too much. The frantic rubbing, the harsh pads of his fingers, mixing pleasure with pain in the most unforgiving way. It hurt too good to want to stop him, though.
Joel surprised you, pressing his forehead against yours. His eyes were heavy, and his jaw was slack, the blissful expression ruined by a smug chuckle.
"You can. C'mon, sweetheart, I believe in you," he tutted like one would to a child riding a bike for the first time.
It spurred something inside you, the degradation. Your hooded, watery eyes caught sight of his plump lip through the blur and without a second thought, you lunged forward and bit it, your teeth piercing the soft skin.
It was the closest thing you would get to feeling them, you knew it, and you weren't about to beg for a taste.
A slap landed on your cheek, sharp and stinging, but he kept his hand there on the side of your face, cupping it in an almost endearing way.
Joel hissed at the taste of blood—surprised but not disgusted. The hand cupping your face in the sweetest way turned to force your mouth open, and you grinned bitterly when he spat on your tongue, tasting his blood.
His thrusts became more frantic, the pad of his thumb sloppily skipping over your clit as he draws your pleasure out. Forcing you to look into his eyes while you come around his cock, Joel's too far gone watching you to notice the way his balls tightened.
"Fuck—"
Slick with your juices Joel slips out of your clenching pussy, jerking his cock a few pumps as he hisses, strings of milky sperm decorating your abdomen.
Your heavy breaths hang in the room like thick syrup, bodies sticky, tension at a maximum as the lust turns back to hatred.
Joel moves from you with a grunt, a sly smirk on his lip as he moves his gaze from the mess on your stomach to your eyes. He leaves you to clean yourself up and tucks his softening cock into his pants, the zipper resounding comically loud through the silence. It reminds you of a secret between children, zipping your lips close as a solemn pledge.
It was over and it would never be brought up again. As you did your best to clean up, get back into your clothes, and comb your fingers through your hair, your eyes were trained on Joel's back—if eyes could kill and all that.
At once, you were back to hating one another. You hoped your nails had dug deep enough into his shoulder, hard enough to leave scars.
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banj0possum · 8 months ago
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Alistair x (platonically) Teen Reader
In the fic he is like oh my god a bride, he walks in and instead of an adult..or a bride-
They find a teen, who literally threw a pebble at him, an angsty teen💀
I’m very happy to read ur fics and usually pair them with teen/child mc because I find it funny because they expect the love of their life
and teen mc standing there :🧍‍♂️
anyways sorry for the long request, luv ur writing, and ur art :D
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Yandere! Evil King x Teen! GN! Reader
CW: platonic relationship, Alistair is a bit of a DILF so do with it as you will, Dads are hot you guys!! READER IS A MINOR.
👑 Who is this sassy lost child?
👑 His minions kidnapped you while you were on a carriage ride back to your kingdom.
👑 He was hoping for like a princess or something to marry and take over the kingdom with or whatever so like...what tf he gonna do with you???
👑 Clearly you were too young to be in a situation like this, but theres no way he's giving you back without a reward, so yes he still holds you for ransom.
👑 "Child, I am Alistair, King of-ACk!"
👑 Did...did you throw a pillow at him?!
👑 "How dare yo- AHK! Stop it!" another one..
👑 You refuse to listen to anything he says, you just wanted to go home
👑 You two had a bit of rivalry for a bit. He hated you and you hated him.
👑 He promised not to show any affection or care towards you since in his eyes, your actions didn't deserve it. How can someone be so rude to a king !?
👑 But he starts to notice you don't eat much. He never sees you in the dining hall and has only seen quick moments of you nibbling on some bread or pastries the servants gave you.
👑 He scoffed, so irresponsible! You must eat a proper meal right this second or you'll starve!
👑 You're surprised to see a meal prepared for you during your routine trip to get a snack from the pantry with a note on the plate.
👑 "Next time, ask for a proper meal. I don't want your parents to think I've been starving you. -Alistair P.S. go to bed early."
👑 Huh...
👑 Alistair smiled from the doorway of the dining hall, watching you eat up with a smile on your face. You might have been too scared of him to ask for food so you've been sneaking snacks while he wasn't looking.
👑 Of course he wasn't doing it because he cared about you, he just didn't want royalty like you to resort to such pathetic means to eat!
👑 Why are you still sad? Perhaps he should get you some things to keep your attention..
👑 He asks (threateningly may I add) about your hobbies or interests.
👑 The next morning your cell (which has been upgraded to a lovely room in the castle because he didn't want you to be filthy and gross in a dungeon) was filled with anything he could find that he thought you'd enjoy.
👑 Don't think he wants you to be happy! He's just tired of seeing you sulk everywhere!
👑 He denies everything, but you swear you could see a tiny smile on his face when you hugged him happily.
👑 You start being a little more open to him, showing him anything you've made or done with pride and he'd receive it gratefully, but he won't show it of course.
👑 "I made you this friendship bracelet!"
👑 "I've seen better jewelry."
👑 "Oh I'll take it back then I guess.."
👑 "No, it's mine now, back off."
👑 Drawings and the like that he said would be thrown out as soon as you left would be seen framed in his room
👑 It would be a..waste of good canvas..
👑 And of course he buys a few books of your choice for you to read, he'd be damned if your brain turns to mush.
👑 Bro bro he'd be the type to let you swing around while holding onto his bicep.
👑 If you ever have any problems, or come to him in a bad mood, he'd have no idea how to help other than to sit down and listen to your troubles.
👑 He's not the most physical when it comes to affection, but you bet your ass he's gonna do everything he can to cheer you up.
👑 At this point he's rewriting his demands for the ransom. Either your kingdom lets him sign some adoption papers or he's starting a war.
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cowboy1ikereid · 24 days ago
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the archer ~ s.r.
‘Dark side, I search for your dark side, but what if I'm all right, right, right, right here?’
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Summary: When you focus so much on wanting to care for Spencer that you begin to lose yourself, and he notices.
Warnings: fem!reader x post prison!spencer, references to ptsd, reader bottles up her emotions and needs a good cry, spencer confronts her and then comforts her, a tiny bit angsty but mostly comfort, established relationship, spencer is a sweetheart who just wants you to communicate with him, reassurance, pet names (honey/sweetheart), reader is the archer coded, inspired by the archer by taylor swift
Category: Angst x Comfort
Word count: 1.3k
Author's Note: This is my first ever one shot/fic that I've ever uploaded, so please be kind and I hope you enjoy!! Feel free to leave me any advice. ily <3
It had been four months. Four months since Spencer Reid had last set foot into the BAU. Four months since he had been arrested in Mexico and sent to prison. Two months since you had seen him during the visiting hours when it was your turn.
He’d looked so worn down. Completely broken, and it broke your heart. You never imagined seeing him like that. Not the nerdy, sweet and intelligent man you’d loved so dearly. He became an entirely new person, but you didn’t treat him as such. You’d been your bubbly, cheery self as always. The happy mask slipped onto your face almost too easily considering your boyfriend was in a maximum security prison, and Spencer knew that. He knew you weren’t being genuine, but he didn’t have the energy to call you out on it. When you’d returned back to your shared apartment after the visit, you’d broken down that night, sleeping in his shirt and drinking from his favourite Doctor Who mug. He hated it when anybody else used his plates, cups or cutlery, but with you, he never seemed to mind… not when he was around, anyways. It was no different to a kiss, you’d supposed.
But that was two months ago. Now, Spencer had been free from prison for a month, and he was still adjusting to normal life. He was constantly on edge, and he couldn’t take showers by himself anymore. Not unless you were there. Whenever he ate, he wolfed his food down like he was afraid somebody would take it away - like somebody was about to tell him that lunch time was over. His life had been completely flipped around when he’d gone to prison, and you’d wanted to make sure everything was the same when he returned home. You wanted his surroundings to feel familiar. No more unnecessary change. But you were starting to think it wasn’t working.
Trying to keep so happy all of the time was taking a toll on you, but you were trying to do it for Spencer. He had enough on his plate, and the last thing he needed was to deal with your struggles, right? You thought that he was too absorbed with his own issues to notice yours, which you’d decided were much less serious in comparison, but he had noticed the darker side to yourself that you tried to keep under wraps.
You were reading a book on the sofa, glasses perched on the tip of your nose, hair thrown up into a ponytail and one of Spencer’s sweaters hanging off your frame when he approached you. 
“Honey?” He said softly, sitting down next to you on the sofa and drawing your attention from your book. You looked up to him quickly, eyebrows slightly furrowed as you hummed in response. “Can I talk to you?” He continued, placing a hand on top of yours comfortingly. Just from his tone, you could tell it would be a serious conversation. One that you weren’t sure that you were prepared to have, but you accepted anyway. If he needed you, you’d be there for him. No matter what. 
“Of course. Anything.” You nodded, unintentionally releasing a deep sigh.
"Are you okay?" He said simply, his hazel eyes showing concern. You bit your lip, unsure of how to answer. He was a profiler, after all. If you lied to him, he'd be able to tell instantaneously. But you didn't want to worry him. That was the last thing he needed right now. You didn't trust your words, and so you nodded sheepishly, not seeming too sure. You used to vent to Spencer all of the time before he went to prison, but now you were aware that he had problems of his own to deal with, and to you, your own seemed far less important in comparison, so you bottled up your feelings and acted like you were fine, even if you weren't.
Truth be told, you didn't even know why you felt so down. It had just been a tough few weeks with Spencer returning and being so different, but that wasn't his fault. Life in general was catching up to you, and it was exhausting.
"Words?" He sighed, "Look, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. You know that I won't make you, but.. I'm worried about you, okay? I know that you're not okay, and I'd appreciate it if you could stop acting like you were." Spencer said, with warm eyes and a soothing tone. Somehow, he always knew exactly what to say, and it always managed to surprise you even though he had an IQ of 187.
You didn't want to talk about it, not right now. You weren't ready to. But you were fully prepared to remove the mask that you'd been wearing in front of him for months. You looked to the side, and then back at him with your bottom lip trembling, not wanting to speak and instead letting your actions do the talking by shifting towards Spencer and leaning into the warmth of his body, where he opened his arms and wrapped them around you tightly, resting his head on top of yours so he could smell your sweet vanilla scented shampoo. Some things never changed. You tucked your head into the crook of his neck, and he could feel the dampness of your tears that you were finally able to let loose.
The dam had finally burst, and you cried it out. You cried it out in Spencer's arms for a good half hour, and he let you, whispering sweet nothings and stroking your back comfortingly, not letting you go.
Eventually, when you were ready, you pulled away slightly but not fully, one of Spencer's arms still around you as he looked down at you, your eyes swollen, red and puffy. Your cheeks were tear-stained, but he was quick to wipe them with his thumb.
"Are you ready to tell me why you've been bottling up your emotions lately?" Spencer asked, although he had an inclination as to why.
You sniffled and nodded, wiping your runny nose with the sleeve of your sweater Spencer's sweater. It was probably gross, but he'd seen you at your worst, and this wasn't even close to it.
"I'm sorry, okay? I just.. I-.. you've had so much going on lately, and you don't need my problems on top of your own-" You said, but he quickly cut you off.
"Don't say that," He shook his head, "I will always be here for you to talk to. I don't care if you think I have too much going on, okay? That isn't your decision to make. We're in a relationship, sweetheart. I understand that you're trying to do what's best for me, and I love you for that, but what we have is mutual. That means we share things with each other. We communicate our feelings with each other. You don't keep them bottled up just because you think that what you're doing is right. I know that I've been through a lot in these past months, but I don't want us to change because of that." He stroked your cheek with his thumb, his words soft-spoken and gentle, like he always was with you.
You let out a teary chuckle. "You always see right through me."
"I can see through almost anyone, honey. You can't bottle up your emotions forever with a profiler as a boyfriend." He teased.
You smiled a little before your tone grew insecure and serious once more.
"...you're sure you don't mind?" You asked, wanting reassurance.
"Of course I don't," He kissed your forehead and pulled you in for another hug, resting his head on top of yours once more. "All of these problems we have... we can work through them together. One step at a time. It's us against the world."
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citysuk · 3 months ago
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innocence of love | remus lupin
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pairing: remus lupin x fem!reader
summary: Is it too late? Will you forgive him? Are you still in love with him? Remus' mind won't stop repeating those questions in his head. He must find you and hear it from you.
words: 2,1k
notes: i love these babies SOOO much, they're literally my children. i took a little time writing it but it's finally here. hope you guys enjoy it 🥹🥹
warnings: ANGSTYYYY, but so much fluff at the end, i just- ADORE THEM SO MUCH. no use y/n but no oc neither. no proofread.
part 1 | guilt and shame
(could be read as a stand alone too)
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As the night progresses, Remus finds himself thinking about your confession. He's spent the evening with his best friends, their conversation and humor managing to lighten the mood somewhat, but he can't shake off the heaviness he feels in his chest.
He finds himself wandering the castle, not quite ready to retire to bed, when he spots you walking down one of the corridors. The sight sends a pang through his heart and he hesitates for a moment, summoning up the courage to approach you.
He takes a breath, steeling himself, then steps towards you. As he draws closer, he takes in your form, his heart pounding in his chest. When he's a few steps away, he calls out quietly, his voice hoarse.
"Hey..."
You look up, surprised by the sound of Remus's voice. As you turn to face him, you see the weariness in his eyes, the struggle clear on his face. He stops a few feet away, shoving his hands in his pockets and avoiding your gaze, unsure of how to start.
He clears his throat, still looking down at his feet as he speaks, his voice slightly shaky. "Can I... Can I talk to you for a moment? I know it's late, but...I just really need to say something."
You notice the tension radiating off him, the way he fidgets, the uncertainty in his tone. You haven't seen him like this before. Nervous to the core, just like you. Curious and a little worried, you nod. "Oh, yes. What is it?"
His gaze finally meets yours, the raw vulnerability in his eyes clear. He takes a deep breath, struggling to find the right words. "I... I need to apologize. I've been an idiot. I know that. I thought I was doing the right thing, sparing you from... from me."
He swallows hard, running a hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. "But... but I realize now that it wasn't my decision to make. I had no right to push you away like that. I should've trusted you, trusted your decisions, your... your feelings."
He takes a step closer, his eyes begging for understanding. "I never meant to hurt you. I was just... I was just trying to protect you. But I see now that I was really just being selfish, making decisions for you that weren't mine to make. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. That's not how you treat someone you..." He trails off, the word ‘love' hanging unsaid between them.
"I don't understand. What are you trying to protect me from, Remus? Your feelings?" You say clearly confused by Remus' words.
Remus hesitates, the truth on the tip of his tongue. He can't bring himself to look directly at you, not yet. "No...No, not my feelings. I mean, yes, my feelings... But that's not all. It's much more complicated."
Remus sighs, rubbing his forehead with the heel of his hand. He knows he has to explain, but he hates the thought of having to lay out all his secrets. "It's... It's not just my feelings. It's everything. It's who I am, what I am. There are things about me... Things you don't know. Things I'm scared to tell you."
He looks up at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of fear and regret. "You see, there's a part of me that I can't control. A part that... that's dangerous. A part that I'm terrified of could hurt you. I didn't want to put you at risk, that's why I tried to push you away. That's why I thought it would be better if..." He trails off again, unable to say the words aloud.
You come closer to him and grab his face in your hands, looking at him right in the eyes. "What could be that dangerous about you?"
Remus's breath hitches as you place your hands on his face, the warmth of your touch sending a shiver down his spine. He can't help but lean into your touch, the comfort it offers is a stark contrast to the turmoil he's feeling inside.
His voice is barely above a whisper as he finally speaks, the confession tearing at his heart. "I'm a monster. A real, actual, literal monster. I'm not like you, not like any of the others. There's something that... that happens to me. Something that I have no control over." He swallows hard, the admission taking all his strength. "I transform. Every full moon, I transform into something terrible. I can't stop it. I've tried. I've tried everything. And I'm... I'm scared. I'm scared of what it does to me, of what it could do to you, if you got too close."
He reaches up, gently grasping your wrists and pulling your hands from his face. He holds them in his own, his grip desperate, almost desperate enough to hurt. "You don't understand. The thing I become... it's dangerous. It's violent. It's... it's capable of things you can't even imagine. And I can't let it hurt you. I won't let it hurt you. So that's why... that's why I had to push you away. I had to keep you safe from me."
He looks down at your hands in his, the sight of them intertwined a stark reminder of the connection between you. He's torn, pulled between the part of him that aches to be close to you and the part that's terrified of what being close might bring. "I don't want to keep hurting you. But I don't know what else to do. I can't change what I am. I can't change what I'm capable of. And I can't... I can't put you at risk like that."
His voice breaks a little as he speaks, the pain evident in his tone. He looks back up at you, his eyes filled with conflict. "You make me... You make me feel things that I've never felt before. You make me happy, you make me want things I can never have. But I can't... I can't get that close to you. For your sake, for my sake, for everyone's sake. If something ever happened... if I ever hurt you..." He lets out a bitter laugh, a sound edged with despair. "I would never forgive myself. I'd rather have you hate me than risk seeing you hurt because of me."
He lowers his head again, his grip on your hands tightening. "Can you understand that? Can you try to understand why... why I did what I did? Why do I have to keep pushing you away, even though it's killing me?"
He waits for your response, his heart thundering in his chest. He's laid out his secrets, his fears, his guilt. Now it's up to you to react, to accept him, to forgive him, or to turn from him in disgust. He steels himself, bracing for the worst, praying that you'll see past his monster to the boy beneath.
His eyes plead with you, searching your face for any sign that you can see the truth behind his words. But he also braces himself for the worst, waiting for the blow that could shatter what's left of his heart into a thousand pieces.
You are completely silent for a moment as you process everything Remus has told you. Your heart aches for him, in a mixture of compassion and grief at what he must go through. And yet, the love in your heart doesn't waiver, if anything it becomes stronger. When you finally speak, your voice is calm and steady, belying the turmoil of emotions within you. "I... I can't say I understand everything you're going through. But I do understand your fear. I understand your guilt. I understand why you pushed me away." You take a step closer to him, your hands still in his. You look at him intently, your eyes locked on his. "But I also understand this: You're not a monster, Remus. You're scared. And you're hurting. But that doesn't make you a monster. It just makes you human."
He looks at you in surprise, not quite believing what he's hearing. He opens his mouth to speak, to protest, but you shush him gently. "You're not a monster, Remus," you repeat, the voice softer now. "And I don't hate you. I could never hate you."
He swallows hard, the emotions he's been holding back threatening to overwhelm him. A single tear escapes his eye, rolling down his cheek. You grab his hands again. "How can you say that? After everything I've told you? After everything I've done? How can you... How can you still care?"
You sigh, a tender smile on her lips. You reach up, wiping the tear away with your thumb. "Because I love you, Remus. Despite everything, even though you've been an idiot, a stubborn git, and a complete fool... I love you. I'll ever do."
He draws in a sharp breath as he hears the word 'love'. He looks at you, disbelief and hope warring within his heart. "You... you still love me? Even knowing what I am? Even knowing what I'm capable of?"
You nod firmly, gaze unshaking. "Yes, I do. I do. I love you for who you are, Remus. All of you. Even the parts you think are monstrous. They're a part of you, and I love you for that. I love you for your strength, your bravery, and your courage in the face of your fears. I love you for the boy you are, not the wolf you turn into."
He can't stop the tears from falling now, cascading down his face in silent streams. He reaches out for you, pulling you into his arms, holding you close. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, his body shaking with silent sobs. He whispers the words into your skin, his voice choked with tears. "I... I don't deserve you. I don't deserve your love."
You wrap your arms around him, the embrace tight and comforting. "Yes, you do. You deserve all the love in the world, Remus. And I'll give it to you, if you'll let me. I'll give you all my love, my understanding, and my support. I'll be here for you, always."
He shivers against you, your words and touch soothing him, calming the storm that has been ravaging his soul. He pulls back slightly, just enough to look into her eyes, his own filled with awe and gratitude. "I... I don't know what to say. I don't know what I did to deserve you."
You smile at him, hand gently tracing the lines of his face, wiping away the tears. "You don't have to say anything, Remus. You don't have to do anything. You just have to be here, with me. And I'll do the rest. I'll prove to you every day that you're worth loving, that you're not a monster, that you deserve happiness and peace and comfort and love."
He lets out a shaky breath, his fingers tracing her features in turn, as if he's trying to commit every inch of her to memory. He leans in, pressing his forehead against hers, his eyes closing as he memorizes every detail of the moment. "I'm a fool. I'm a complete and utter fool. I almost let you go. I almost let my fears and my guilt drive you away from me."
You pull back slightly, your hands still framing his face, thumbs caressing his cheeks softly. "But you didn't. You're here now. You're here with me. And I'm never letting go. I'll fight for you, Remus. I'll fight your fears, your guilt, your monsters. I'll fight for us."
He smiles through his tears, his heart overflowing with feelings he can't even begin to put into words. He pulls you closer again, holding onto you like you're the most precious thing in the world. His voice is a whisper, a prayer, a vow. "I love you, darling. With everything that I am. With every beat of my heart, every breath of my soul. I love you."
You melt into his embrace, the words you longed to hear since your heart first fluttered with love falling from his lips at last. "I love you too, Remus. With everything I am. With every fiber of my being. I love you now, and I'll love you until the end of time."
He smiles against your hair, his heart so full he feels like it might burst. He pulls you impossibly closer, his body aching with the need to be as close as possible. "Then you're stuck with me, forever. I'm never letting you go. Ever."
You laugh softly, the sound like music to his ears. "Good. Cause I wasn't planning on going anywhere. You're mine now, Remus Lupin. Stuck with me for the rest of your days."
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otdiaftg · 9 months ago
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The King's Men - Chapter Ten
Day: Friday, February 2nd Time: 10:40 PM EST
Neil set his ice cream and spoon to one side and turned a searching look on Andrew. "Question," Neil said, but it took him a few moments to figure out the right words. "When you said you don't like being touched, is it because you don't like it at all or because you don't trust anyone else enough to let them touch you?" Andrew glanced at him. "It doesn't matter." "If it didn't, I wouldn't ask," Neil said. "It doesn't matter to a man who doesn't swing," Andrew clarified. Neil shrugged. "I don't because I've never been allowed to. The only thing I could think about growing up was surviving." Maybe that was why this was in that gray area of what was acceptable. It didn't matter that Andrew was a would-be sociopath or a man; the idea of Andrew was so intertwined with the idea of Neil's safety that this too was a means of self- preservation. "Letting someone in meant trusting them to not stab me in the back when terrible people came looking for me. I was too afraid to risk it, so it was easier to be alone and not think about it. But I trust you." "You shouldn't." "Says the man who stopped." Neil gave Andrew a few moments to respond before saying, "I don't understand it, and I don't know what I'm doing, but I don't want to ignore it just because it's new. So are you completely off-limits or are there any safe zones?" "What are you hoping for, coordinates?" "I'm hoping to know where the lines are before I cross them," Neil said, "but I'm open to drawing a map on you if you want to loan me a marker. That's not a bad idea." "Everything about you is a bad idea," Andrew said, as if Neil didn't already know that. "I'm still waiting for an answer." "I'm still waiting for a yes or no I actually believe," Andrew returned. "Yes." Neil took the pint from Andrew's unresisting fingers, stacked it on top of his, and leaned in. He stopped shy of actually kissing Andrew, not daring to touch him until Andrew gave him a green light. Andrew's expression didn't change but there was a subtle shift in his body's tension that told Neil he'd gotten Andrew's attention. Neil lifted a hand but stopped it a safe difference from Andrew's face. Andrew caught hold of his wrist and squeezed in warning. "It's fine if you hate me," Neil said. It was the truth, if a bit of an understatement. So long as Andrew was only physically attracted to Neil, this was safe to experiment with. Neil's death wouldn't be more than a faint inconvenience to Andrew. "Good," Andrew said, "because I do."
Art used with permission by Lunapiq. Thank you @lunapiq
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animehideout · 11 months ago
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I think a lot about jjk men being angry because their gamer girlfriend ignores them 😩
(sorry for the writing, english is not my first language
JJK Men x Gamer GF
a/n: Hello anon thank you so much for your request. I had fun writing this one. I really hope you like it 🫶🏻
( Requests are open )
Characters: Gojo Satoru / Toji Fushiguro / Ryomen Sukuna / Nanami Kento.
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Gojo Satoru:
Satoru has been very busy with endless missions lately, getting home really late.
To ease your lonliness, you started gaming.
Well till it turned into addiction.
You were kinda mad at him for not making time for you or at least speak to the higher-ups to take some days off.
But you never talked that out with him, since you didn't have the chance to express yourself.
He surprisingly arrived early tonight, excited to spend the night cuddling with you while watching movies.
But he didn't expect you to have your eyes glued on the screen in front of you while gaming like a maniac.
The room echoed with the sounds of keystrokes and game music.
He jumped in excitement to surprise you but no reaction.
“huh? baby! Im hooome”
“hey” you smiled unenthusiastically at him and quickly turned your focus back on your game.
He raised his eyebrow, watching as you delve into your virtual world, a world seemingly more captivating than his presence.
Would try everything to bring your attention towards him.
He knows his touch makes you weak, so he leaned in wrapping his arms around your shoulders, kissing the top of your head, wishing to draw your attention away from your screen.
“I missed you so much babygirl”
His attempt failed miserably, you just hummed in return completely ignoring him.
When his affection didn't work he started teasing you attempting to provoke you and get a reaction out of you.
“You sure you can play this game? I feel like you suck at this”.
When his teasing fell on a deaf ear as well, his frustration reached its peak.
His calm and amused voice turned into an annoyed tone.
“ARE YOU REALLY GONNA IGNORE ME FOR THAT STUPID GAME Y/N?” he would yell in an unusual harsh tone.
The question hang in the air as it left you momentarily stunned.
“Why the hell are you yelling?” you would question.
“Oh so now I got your attention?! I've been trying to talk to you for half an hour now and all what you did is playing your stupid game”.
His anger was very evident.
He would remove his blindfold throwing it somewhere in your shared bedroom.
“So you got mad because I was focusing on playing my game but you didn't consider that I'm probably the one who's mad because you're never home” you let out of everything, confronting him.
“you're comparing this stupid game to my job?”
Oh boy he fucked up, he didn't get the whole point.
After raging and snapping at you he would give you the silent treatment.
Of course his narcissistic ass wouldn't apologize first.
He's convinced that it's your fault even though he was offensive as well.
You would eventually say sorry and he'll show you his bright smile at the spot.
Both of you would talk things out and find a solution to spend more time together.
“so we good now baby?...can we cuddle?”
“yeah Satoru just lemme finish this round” you would joke.
Toji Fushiguro:
As much as he enjoys your giggles and the way you throw cute tantrums while playing, he HATES IT when you're completely engrossed in your game, oblivious to the way he's sitting there watching you.
Kinda paradoxical.
He wished to have you in his arms.
Or having you on his lap while making out.
But all of these were just thoughts crossing his mind cuz you don't seem like you're finishing your game any time sooner.
And that annoyed him to the core.
“y/n, y/n ?”
“HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE”.
You didn't even hear him with having your headset on.
He's very possessive of you and he wants all of your attention to himself.
Especially when you started chatting with your friends, while playing together.
That shit was his last straw.
“Thats it...get your ass over here y/n”
You would look at him in disbelief.
Mouthing “my friends heard you”
“oh trust me I don't give A SINGLE FUCK” he would yell again.
You apologized to your friends and quickly paused the game.
“Are you out of your mind Toji why did you say that”.
“Why did you apologize to your friends while I'm the one you should apologize to”
He would stand up approaching you, narrowing his eyes, clearly pissed.
His giant figure making you take a step back, trapping you between him and your desk.
“Now what should I do to you for ignoring me for too long huh?” he whispered.
You started stuttering, his strong aura did things to you.
His narrow eyes piercing through you, sending shivers down your spine.
“I- I'm s-sorry” you gulped.
“What a good girl...now turn off that computer before I smash it and get your ass on the bed”
Well you had no other options, so you obeyed him.
Unless you want to act bratty which will result in him punishing the hell out of you.
Would spend the whole night cuddling you, literally smashing you in his strong arms, never letting go of you. 🫶🏻🥹
“But Toji I really need to use the bathroom”.
“Nuh-uh”.
Ryomen Sukuna:
Two possibilities, whether you're too bold or you're suicidal and have a death wish to test this man's patience.
They just released this new game and you're completely obsessed with it.
You would spend hours playing it, luckily Sukuna was busy with some things so he didn't notice the way that game took your whole attention and energy.
He wants to be the one taking all of your time and energy.
But when he does notice, oh god, run or pray for your life.
“y/n come here let me kiss you”
“one second!!!”
He would look at you in disbelief.
Cocking his eyebrow, while leaning back .
Even though your back was facing him, you could feel the daggers he was sending your way.
“I said NOW”
“Please baby, I'm winning be there in a sec-”
You didn't even get to finish your sentence when he threw your whole set up off of your desk.
Your eyes would widen in shock.
You don't know if you should feel sad that your whole gaming set up got destroyed or scared that you're the one about to get destroyed.
“You dare to ignore me.. that's bold of you y/n” he would say in his deep voice, making your chest tighten.
“I'll only allow this once, there won't be a second time... do you understand?”
You would nod immediately.
He would throw you on his shoulder taking you to your shared bedroom.
“You need to be taught a lesson after all”
Of course he wouldn't apologize that he got angry at you.
I mean, it's Sukuna we're talking about.
The next day, Sukuna would surprise you with a new gaming computer with complete setup.
You've never imagined him doing this gesture but you truly appreciated that the king of curse actually considered your feelings.
“I don't understand what humans find so entertaining in this game... you should try murder is much more fun..”
You would happily unbox it and place it on your desk.
“Now, Doll next time when I tell you to stop you stop immediately without any stupid excuses”.
Nanami Kento:
Would be home after a long day at work.
Brings dinner with him and expects both of you to eat together while talking about your day and future plans for the weekend.
Only to find you in a dark room, only your computer screen glowing.
“y/n I'm home darling!”
“oh hey there baby” you would simply say eyes still glued on the game.
He wouldn't think much of it even though you were used to jump on him, embracing him in a long hug and telling him how much you missed him.
But lately all what you've been occupied with is this game.
Would give you space, while he takes his time to shower, prepare the table for both of you to have dinner.
“y/n dinner is ready, let's eat”
“yeah yeah I'll be there in a sec Kento” you said, agressively pressing the buttons on your controller.
He would sigh and head to the kitchen, to wait for you there.
Half an hour has passed, an hour and you didn't show up yet.
“shit” you said to yourself when you checked the time.
You ran downstairs to find him on the couch watching TV.
You slowly approached him and sat next to him.
“ken-”
“you don't have to say anything y/n”.
Your heart ached because you know you screwed up.
He would ignore you, his eyes fixated on the big screen in front of him.
You would place your hand on his lap but he would reject you.
“Kento please”
He would start lecturing you.
“You know, that was extremely childish y/n.. I've been waiting for us to have dinner together since the moment I left the morning.. that's what keeps me going.. knowing that I'll come back home to find you..but you did what? you ignored me”
He would be really furious but he kept it to a low and cold tone.
No matter how much he gets pissed he'll never raise his voice at you.
You would look down, embarrassed and feeling extremely guilty.
“I'm your husband y/n , lately you're not fulfilling your duties towards me like I do to you..”.
He is a responsible man, and he believes in efforts from both sides.
You would end up crying.
And he'll end up apologizing even though it was your mistake from the beginning.
He hates seeing you cry, especially because of him.
He regretted getting angry at you.
Between sobs you managed to explain to him that you were trying to win an award by getting the first place in this game.
Would bring you to his chest, holding you close.
“shh I'm sorry.. that's okay. I understand. I'm sorry if my words were harsh”
Would wipe your tears.
Doesn't go to work the next day and spends the day with you while you teach him how to play.
Thank you for reading (⁠♡⁠ω⁠♡⁠ ⁠)⁠ ⁠~⁠♪
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headspace-hotel · 1 year ago
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I've been able to neither read nor write stories in a long time. Poetry too, for the most part. I guess what I mean is that the art of the written word has become a stranger to me.
I hate what poetry classes did to my writing. Yes, the Wikipedia poems, but they are easier because they're not my own words, and I have gotten so many comments on those saying they are powerful pieces of art, but for me personally they're a way of hiding from the awfulness of trying to assemble my own words into poetry.
I hate the poems I wrote in poetry classes. I hate the version of me I showed others in those classes. I hate the way poetry classes taught me to draw from my own experiences and thoughts for poetry. I hate everything I learned about how to interpret poetry, the eye with which I learned to read poetry, and the vocabulary I learned to talk about poetry, and ultimately, I hate "literary" poetry.
"Literary," by the way, is the category of art that has more meaning, value and legitimacy than the "other" category, which is not "literary." A "literary" poem is published in special, fancy "literary" magazines and almost invariably written by a person with a MFA or PhD in poetry.
You could say that the distinguishing feature of "literary" art is its overwhelming sense of legitimacy. A "literary" poem is a poem in the same way that a nonprofit organization is charitable, that a CEO is rich, or that an SAT score demonstrates your academic prowess. It is a poem completely immune to the possibility that someone will think it sucks. It expects to be absorbed, analyzed, studied, and discoursed upon because something feels "official" about whatever designates it as Good Art.
Literary poems are not only written by and for a special subset of people that have been formally taught to read and interpret poetry, they are written exclusively for audiences that will automatically assume they are Good Art; beautiful, meaningful, and worth interpreting. Because of this, most literary poems are literal incomprehensible nonsense.
Just take this one:
Say I climb the ladder of wheat/and at the top there is a faucet dripping beads of water/but the water takes a year to turn into an eagle/and the sky's forty-three shades of gray pierce/the first inflection of my heart, the point where the signals/throw grass into the river. Say the river sags/and the horizon sucks the lance out of the ghost's hands/like the moment of being born, the point where a shadow's/tongue slides through the faultline./Grace. Sunlight, cherries.
(it continues like this)
And conceptually, I love art as collaboration between the creator and viewer, where abstract, indeterminate and murky things are forced to take shape through the participation of the viewer as they interpret and associate things that stand out to them in the work! The "aliveness" of art in the abyss between what the artist attempts to communicate and what the viewer feels is the coolest thing to me!
But this philosophy of art is incompatible with the idea that there is an elite category of art that is worthy of interpretation, analysis, and reverence. I can fuck around with this random word generator and get something that is roughly as meaningful as the above. I don't mean that as demeaning to the poem, I mean that I feel demeaned by the poem, because its linguistic play and experimentation is something that everybody can do, that everyone should try doing, but this poem has been designated as something exceptionally meaningful and worthy and its writer teaches writing at the University of Chicago. You can click through that website for hours and not find a single soul without a MFA or above in poetry or creative writing.
For me, the world of "literary" writing was like a room with a splatter of vomit across the floor that no one else would acknowledge. The ability to formally study poetry in college was a privilege, but I was constantly aware of privilege, and the thing about privilege is the more you have, the less you think about it. What of the ability to pursue a PhD in poetry? What small fraction of people could expend so much time and money on something that didn't really have a career associated with it? And of that fraction, which fraction would be seen as "good enough" to publish poetry books and to teach? With poetry this indeterminate, how were the "good" poets selected at all?
Literary writing excludes poor people, and the existence of published literary poets who are immigrants or minorities doesn't negate this. Increasingly, published writing in general excludes poor people. A LOT of popular authors graduated from very elite schools!
But literary poetry I hate especially, because it puffs itself up on unlocking the universe and human experience and pain, as if insight into those things is a seldom-appearing gift instead of something many people have, except they don't have the time and money to train themselves into expressing it in a way that appears Literary.
The "literary" vs. "non-literary" paradigm had an inescapable rottenness to it. I couldn't stop thinking about the luminous conversations I'd had with people who lacked the formal training to express ideas in a "literary" manner, but still showed me something vital about the universe.
I've been bitching about literary poetry for like two years now, and really, I just hate what studying all that shit has done to my own writing style. It's so frustrating that the joy and playfulness won't come back.
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richardsgraysons · 11 months ago
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touches
prompt — all the ways jason todd touches you / jason todd x reader
tags — some nsfw
A STORMY SEA AT BAY;
his fingers are harsh, and you wince when he grips at you like. that.he doesn't mean to hurt you, by god, no. he doesn't ever want to see you flinch. and as soon as you do, he stumbles back.
you realize what's happened. he's going to hate himself now. "jason, no—" you call out, reaching for him, but he stumbles back and runs into the darkness of the night where it'll shroud him. and in that night, he basks in his anger and self-loathing for a while before the boy in blue comes to calm him down. you sometimes wish you could, but he'd be too ashamed.
"i'm sorry," he mumbles when he's back in your arms. he holds you, tight, but not like when he was angry. there is a silver tear dancing on the edge of his eye but he never lets it drop. "i didn't mean to." and you know he doesn't so you hug him back and don't say a word.
EUPHORIA IN A SKY OF STARS;
he grips your thighs as tight as possible, and his face is buried between the valley of your thighs. he's letting out sighs of pleasure through quiet muffles as the only thing you can hear is the sound of your own whimpers and his comments—"fuck, pretty girl, you look so fuckin' good right now. give me another one, yeah?"
your thighs are shaking and you cannot even think properly, not when his eyes are hazy and he looks up at you like that. his fingers are digging so deep into your flesh that they draw out bruises, his tongue swirling around, and occasionally his teeth graze over your inner thighs. you forget that his helmet is to the side, that you're on a rooftop and anyone can appear in seconds and see you two like this. "best fuckin' thing i've tasted in my entire life," he croons, as he shoves two fingers in you.
SLEEPING IN AT SUNRISE;
his touches are gentle, soft. your hands run over the bruises he's collected from last night, and the blood that's dried on his hair or his head or back from last night's patrol and you worry about him. your fingers cup his jaw and you plant delicate butterfly kisses over his face in worry. "i worry about you, jay," you say when he whines at the touch but you know he adores it.
"i'm alive in one piece, aren't i?" he muffles as he flips over to the side so his back faces you. you pout and he knows you're pouting. he flips right back in a flash and he grabs you by the neck and pulls you close before pressing a kiss on your forehead and pushing. yourhead so it lies in the crook of his neck.
"i'm never leaving you," he murmurs, his eyes hooded and lazy. "it's gonna take everything in this universe and more for me to ever even think about not making it back to you." and those are just words, you know, but words have a lot of meaning.
I THINK ABOUT YOU EVEN IF I DON'T KNOW IT;
"so that's what i said to him that other day!" that blonde girl laughs, brushing her arm against jason. jason just nods at her, doesn't even mean to say anything ot her and just keeps his blank face. you've been scowling at her for the past five minutes, and for the past four minutes, she's pretended like you don't exist.
jason looks down at where she's touched him and then shrugs. "i have to go get a drink," he says blankly, his face neutral. the both of you turn around in near perfect sync and start walking down together. jason grits his teeth in anger, thinking about something else (maybe how that blonde girl has been treating you), and takes your hand and squeezes it. he squeezes it so hard it hurts a bit.
"jason," you wince, looking at your red hand. it's cutting off blood. he looks down at your hand in surprise and then his eyes widen for a few seconds before letting it go.
"i'm so sorry, i didn't know i was holding your hand, and with that grip—" you shush him peacefully.
RED IS JASON TODD'S COLOR
"fuck," jason snarls as he pushes you against the wall. there's something in his eyes. jealousy. red is always jason's best color to wear, you've known that for sure. his hand wraps around your throat and he kisses you hard.
"you liked making me jealous, didn't you?" he challenges, raising an eyebrow. there's a glimmer in his eyes as his lips bite down on your neck so hard that there's a faint sliver of blood. you let out a yelp. "seeing me all riled up for a guy whose cock is probably the tiniest fuckin' thing you've ever seen. tell me, did you like me jealous of a guy who can't even please you the way you know i can?"
you open your mouth to answer, but he clamps his hand. over before ou can speak. "don't even fucking answer," he snarls, before ripping your jeans off from your body. you didn't even know anybody could do that. "i'm about to teach you what the right answer is."
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2blockseast · 2 months ago
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nights like this (logan howlett x gn reader)
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summary: plagued by memories of his ex-lover, logan seeks out their counterpart for comfort. author's note: hey y'all, i hope you're all doing well! i've been simmering on this one for awhile but uni has gotten in the way so it took some time to finish. i'm sorry if the ending feels abrupt... i again blame uni for stealing mental energy from me, lol. anyways, i hope you enjoy! please feel free to send requests. i appreciate you all, stay safe! writing is purposefully in all lowercase; mildly proofread. tags: worst!logan, readers gender not mentioned, human reader (both universes), angst, comfort, happy ending word count: 2,275
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nights like this
it was another sleepless night for logan. he was laying on the couch in wade’s apartment, staring at the ceiling and begrudgingly focusing on the deep ache in his chest. he felt weighted down both emotionally and physically, and despite his attempts to think of something positive, his mind kept drawing him back into the depths of his own despair. 
he was replaying every horrible thing that he had ever done, the memory of his murderous rampage at the forefront. his memories were horrifyingly vivid, with his the memory of the slaughter being so strong he swore he could smell blood. he could almost feel the slick of the blood against his hands, and he remembered how he had felt the fire within him rage on at the feeling. the ache in his chest only intensified at these memories, and logan began to feel his eyes welling with tears as his mind became further crowded with guilt.
he found himself thinking of you. it was nights like this when he needed your love most. the only mildly positive thing about his ability to recall memories so vividly was that he could remember every little thing about you. he thought about how your skin had felt, how you had smelled, the perfect curve of your jaw, your unwavering kindness, and your beautiful eyes that he had loved to lose himself in. he could feel his chest beginning to ache so much it hurt, but he continued to chase his memory of you despite the discomfort. 
logan had always loved you. in his universe, you had been his sun, moon, and stars. not a moment went by that he didn’t think of you. he would follow you around like a lost puppy, doing anything he possibly could to make you feel loved and appreciated. despite his longstanding rough demeanor, you had found a way to soften him. everyone in the x-mansion loved you in your own right, but they loved your positive impact on logan more. you knew how to read his soul and you encouraged him to be kinder to himself, which, in turn, made him kinder to everyone else. you made him a better man. 
but as much as he loved you, and no matter how much he seemed to improve, he had always loved one thing more: hating himself.
when the x-men had been slaughtered, logan’s anger had surfaced in a way nobody had ever thought possible. he didn’t know what to do with all his misery, so he turned it into rage. the nation had watched his murderous rampage through their televisions, and the worldwide fear of mutants only intensified. if people didn’t feel safe before, they certainly didn’t now. 
you had tried to call him a million times when you saw the news, pleading with him to come to your apartment, begging him to come see you, assuring you everything would be okay if he came home. you knew that the brutality of the x-men’s murders had shaken him to his core and that this anger– this rage– was nothing more than a secondary emotion. you promised him that you would take care of him, that you could get through this pain together– he just had to come home to you. 
logan had seen your myriad of calls. he had read your hundreds of frantic– then loving– then desperate– then comforting– then begging texts. he had thought about calling you, but he knew he would never be able to bring himself to do it. he had sat in the woods, covered in blood, longing to crawl into your bed. he felt jagged, and he ached for your softness. but your opposing personalities were what pained him so deeply. he had committed a horrible crime, and no matter how much he wanted to believe that you meant it when you said you could make everything okay, he knew that you couldn’t. he would have to accept that he had ruined everything. 
in his heart, logan knew that you could ease some of his pain. he knew that seeing you, even for a moment, would bring him some relief. he knew you couldn’t make everything okay, but you would at least bring him some semblance of joy in the wake of his grief. but he also knew that he didn’t deserve it. logan had never thought himself deserving of you in the first place, but now he knew that he definitely wasn’t. not only did he not deserve you, but you didn’t deserve him. you didn’t deserve to be responsible for such a monster of a man.
he had messaged you: “i’m sorry, i can’t do this. i hope things work out for you. i’m sorry” before blocking your number. 
even now, all these years later, after saving the multiverse and finding himself again, he longed for you. he wished he could go back to your apartment and apologize a hundred times over. he would get down on his knees and beg for your forgiveness. he would smile like a schoolboy as he told you about all the great things he had done, how he had redeemed himself. he imagined you holding his face in your hands, gently stroking his stubble as you comforted him. he imagined you telling him that everything was okay, that you had waited for him all these years, that you still had the same books on your shelves, that your bedroom was still decorated the same and you still wore the same fragrance. 
logan was aching for your touch more than he ever had. he considered going to wade for comfort, which he quickly realized was a horrible idea. the only thing that could make him feel better was you. 
logan didn’t know how he felt about the idea that came to him then. 
he thought about wade’s version of you and how you had met when they had just returned from their multiverse-saving adventure. he remembered how his heart skipped a beat when he saw you again, as beautiful as ever. logan had been pining over you since then, but part of him felt guilty for it. he didn’t know if you had ever known earth-10005’s version of logan– the “best” logan, as some might say– but he guessed that you didn’t considering how happy you seemed. you had always been kind to logan, but he couldn’t help but feel that you were slightly disappointed that the version of the wolverine that wade brought back home wasn’t as amazing as the anchor being that had died. 
after your first few interactions, you seemed to start avoiding him. he hoped he hadn’t done something to upset you or drive you away, but wade had told him that you had always been a bit reserved, especially around new people. “just like i remember”, he found himself thinking. his version of you had been reserved before you two had started dating, and he hoped that maybe the same thing was happening now.
he knew that he wasn’t this world’s logan, and you weren’t his world’s you, but he wanted to wrap himself in your arms nonetheless. he considered going to your apartment just to see you, even if just for a second. he didn’t know if it would make him feel better or worse and he felt bad for even thinking about burdening this untainted version of you with his issues, but he couldn’t help himself. he groggily got up from the couch, throwing on sweatpants and a shirt before heading to see you.
unsurprisingly, you were surprised to see logan in your doorway so late at night. 
“hey, logan,” you said groggily, a bit flustered. “are you okay?”
he looked at your face in the dim light of your apartment, taking it all in.
“yeah, yeah. i’m good,” he stopped, feeling himself hesitate. he wondered if this was a total douchebag move, waking you up in the middle of the night for his own comfort. deciding he had nothing to lose but sleep, he asked, “can i come inside?”.
you stepped aside, still half-asleep. he came in, looking around as he took his shoes off. his heart warmed at the fact that everything was more-or-less decorated the same. you had the same books, the same houseplants, the same coffee table. he couldn’t stop himself from wondering if you could also have the same feelings for him, considering how similar you were to the you that he had fucked up. 
“is something wrong?” you asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“no, nothing's wrong,” he said. “i just needed to… i needed someone”.
flattered that logan had come to you for comfort, you said: “oh, well i hope i can be that someone for you”.
“you always were” he thinks to himself.
“but,” you start, looking a bit dejected. “i have to work tomorrow and i really need to sleep”.
“oh,” logan says, feeling bad that he’s stealing sleep from you. “i don’t need anything special, just being here helps”.
“oh, that makes me happy!” you reply. “how about we just rest together?”
his heart warmed at the thought. seeing the faint blush on his cheeks and feeling his excitement, you giggle and start walking to your bedroom. logan follows, feeling his heart begin to glow at the chance to be close to you. 
throwing back the covers, you settle into your bed. logan looked around your room, decorated just how he remembered. your bed was still snug in the corner of the room, the same desk by the window, the same faint smell of your favorite fragrance lingering in the air. logan felt like he was about to start crying at how happy it made him. he had been in your room a million times, and he could replay every memory you two had shared together here. even though logan had technically lived at the x-mansion, you had always referred to the apartment as as your guys’ home, as if you owned it together. logan had always loved that what was yours was also his. he noticed now that the only things missing from this room were his flannels you had “borrowed”, as well as the photos of the two of you posted on the walls. 
you yawned, patting the space beside you on the bed. 
“are you coming?” you asked.
logan looked at you, laying in your bed in your sleepwear, looking at him expectantly. he nodded, slipping into bed beside you.
you lifted your arm, inviting him to rest his head on your chest, and logan’s heart skipped a beat. you had always been kind to him, but you had never been affectionate like this. he wondered if you were being so inviting because you genuinely liked him or if you were just too tired to be closed off. either way, he nestled himself beside you, pulling up the covers.
you rested your hand on top of his head, slowly breathing in and out. he could hear your heartbeat, gentle and consistent. he closed his eyes, soaking up the purity of this moment.
“i know you need to sleep,” he said, breathing out. “but can i ask you a question?”
you giggled, chest rising. “sure, logan”
“did you ever know this world’s wolverine?”
you stopped for a moment, looking at the ceiling contemplatively. 
“no, i didn’t,” you replied. “it would have been cool, though. why do you ask?”
“just curious,” he said. he couldn’t tell if knowing that made him feel better or worse– at least you couldn’t compare him to the honorable anchor being that had passed.
“did you ever know your world’s me?” you giggled. logan could tell you meant it as a joke, you didn’t expect him to have ever known you. 
“funnily enough, i did” he replied, squeezing his eyes shut in anticipation. his heart rate increased and he hoped this wouldn’t ruin the moment– he didn’t want you thinking he was only there to pretend you were his version of you. he liked both versions of you, and he wasn’t in your bed to live in the world as he wanted it to be. he knew you were your own unique person, even if you were similar to the you he had loved.
“oh,” you said, surprised. monotone, you added: “that’s cool.” 
logan tensed again. he couldn’t tell if you had replied monotone because you were too tired to be expressive or if you were preparing yourself to kick him out.
“what was i like?” you asked, surprising him. your fingers began running through his hair and he leaned into the familiar sensation.
“you were awesome, just like you are now,” he breathed out. “you lived in this same apartment… at least when i knew you”
“why did you stop knowing me?”
logan thought for a second.
“i did some bad stuff… cut you off. i hadn’t seen you in, i don’t know, five years?”
“oh,” you said quietly. your breath hitched as you worked up the confidence to say: “i don’t know if this is weird, but… what were we?”
logan’s breath hitched. “lovers, i guess”
you hummed. “i bet we were nice”
logan let out a low, pained laugh. “we were really nice”
“y’know,” you started after a long silence, hesitating. “i think we could be nice now, too”
logan froze, surprised. “y'think?”
“yeah,” you said, smiling. “i think that with time, we could be very, very nice… if you’re up to try”
“i would love to try,”  logan smiled. “i would try with you a million times”
you hummed, content with his answer. “i think i would like that”
logan relaxed, settling into your side. he breathed a sigh of relief, reveling in the warm feeling of your affection. he drifted to sleep, the memories that plagued him replaced with the new, softer memory of getting to love you once again.
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yanderelionwrites · 8 days ago
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I'll Stay Here - Yandere!Leona x Reader
Content Warning: (soft) yandere, implied kidnapping/captivity, I fear the Stockholm Syndrome has ARRIVED
Word Count: 607
(Again, kind of a part 3 to this, but can be read on its own)
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You really need to stop forgetting your things in Leona’s room. Luckily, he doesn’t mind you coming and going, but it’s still a pain to have to walk all through the palace to get there.
You’ve been keeping him company as of late, just sitting in his room while he naps or plays chess, meaning you like to bring your own stuff over to entertain yourself. Today, you left behind a book you were reading earlier, so you thought you would pop by really quick and take it back. Even though it was late in the evening, Leona would most likely be taking a nap right now, so he wouldn’t even bother with trying to engage with you.
Poking your head into his room, you confirm that he’s asleep before tip-toeing over to the table you left your book at. You grab it and turn to sneak back out, but you stop yourself when you glance at Leona’s face.
His expression appears so…soft. Free of the stresses his family, the servants, or even you sometimes cause him. He looks the most at peace he’s ever been…
It makes your heart swell, which is very alarming because you’re supposed to hate this man. And yet, despite it all, you still find yourself drawing nearer to him. Just to get a better look.
Leona sleeps soundlessly on his stomach, with his arms hugging the pillow his head is buried in. You can’t help but smile at the way his ear twitches; he looks like a napping kitty. It’s such a stark contrast to how he acts when he’s awake.
This is so frustrating… One minute you feel like you wish you never met Leona, and other times, you’re thinking it’s not so bad staying here with him. You have everything you need, and anything you want (other than freedom) can be given to you when asked. And Leona himself isn’t awful to be with… He makes sure you’re taken care of and remains respectful around you.
But do you love him enough to want to stay?
…You don’t want to admit you don’t hate him anymore.
Inching ever so closer to his sleeping body, you tentatively reach out to brush a strand of hair out of his face.
You shouldn’t…
Hesitantly, you lean down so that your face is hovering right over the crown of Leona’s head. You place the quickest and gentlest kiss on top of his hair, before immediately withdrawing from him. Trying to leave like you were never there, you turn towards the exit, but jump when a hand grabs your wrist.
A small yelp escapes your lips as you’re pulled backward onto Leona’s bed. Arms wrap around your waist, not too tight but firm enough to let you know that you won’t be leaving anytime soon.
“L-Leona?!” is all you can stutter out, hands uselessly pushing at his arms.
“Just stay here…please,” he utters into your ear, voice husky and surprisingly pleading.
“...Only for a few minutes,” you relent, letting him pull you against his chest.
A few minutes is all Leona needs. He’ll take what he can get.
He feels you relax next to him, and he couldn’t be more content. This was only a small step towards the future he envisions for you both, but it was still important progress. Leona bets you don’t even know how much he’s been holding back, how much of his feelings he’s repressed to make sure you’re comfortable here first. But with this small gesture, you’ve opened the doors to so much more.
You’ve walked into the lion’s enclosure, and there’s no getting out of it now.
~~~
Probably the last part to this little series. I've been cooking up something Savanaclaw related though, so stay tuned for that 👀
Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!
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