#but i just.. dont bring it up and act as if she can see perfectly fine in some cases cause sometimes its just.. inconsistent.

[rcseadorned]

is sofi blind? yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes. is she blind in every verse? nnnnnnnnnnno. is she consistently blind in the verses where she is? ........ also no.

[jennaortegasshoes]

STARGIRL

warning: fem!r, dom!r, sub!j, G!P jenna, pervy jenna, masturbation(j), unprotected sex, p in v, riding, blowjob, straight into it.

DNI IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE. I am not in charge of what you read. read at your own risk.

Thank you so much to @lalalalalal011010! for requesting this one shot, it was so much fun to write and i hope you enjoy!

she feels herself on the edge of orgasm "mhm baby-girl, keep fucking my cock like that" jenna moaned to herself, enjoying the pleasure from her own hand. The knot in her stomach beginning to tighten, ready to pop at any second.

she continued to fuck her cock into her own palm, muffled moans and repeated screams of her girlfriends name spilling out. unaware that she could be home any second to catch her in the act.

and with that you arrived home, kicking your shoes off and hanging your coat up on the rack, you dont take long to bring yourself to the bottom step of the stairs and speeding up them like you have somewhere to be. "jenna baby?" you call out unaware of your girlfriends dirty doings on your bed.

inching closer to your shared room, you heard your girlfriends muffled moans from the bedroom, changing your mood from excited to concerned. Pushing the door open, you stand there, staring at the sight of your girlfriend, sweat dripping of her forehead, and the beautiful sight of her pleasuring herself.

"oh- fuck y/n right there" The knot in her stomach finally snaps, a chain of pornographic moans escaping her mouth, her load spilling out onto her stomach. Unaware of her girlfriend standing in the doorway watching her.

you tiptoe into the room, placing yourself above your girlfriend. Dipping your head down and taking the tip of her cock into your mouth. She gasps opening her eyes to look down at the sight of you taking her cock "y-y/n!!". "Shhh- im going to take care of you okay stargirl, i got you"

you push yourself down onto her cock, pressing your palms into her abdomen, a quiet gag coming from your throat.

jenna swears she could cum just from watching you take her cock, the vibrations from your gag sending unimaginable pleasure to her cock.

you pull your lips off her cock with a 'pop'. Swirling your tongue around her tip, before pulling off her to remove your clothing.

One by one you remove each item of clothing, taking as much time as possible just so you can edge her to make sure she has the best time with you.

once your finished, you crawl back over to her, placing sweet kisses on her neck, then to her chest you take one of her nipples into your mouth, sucking,biting,and nibbling.

she runs her hands down your waist to your thighs, feeling every curve of your body under her touch.

you pull off her nipple to attack the other giving it the same treatment, sucking,biting and nibbling. "fuck, y/n, i need you so bad, need your pussy so bad" she looks up at you her big brown eyes burning into the side of your cheek

you pull away to meet her eyes, seeing the needy look in them. You know what she needs.

"oh my poor cara mia, want me to fuck you sweet girl?" You tilt your head to the side. She follows your gaze with a desperate nod.

"gonna need to hear those words angel" you bite your lip, lifting your entrance above the tip of her cock. "p-please. please y/n, i wanna feel your pussy around my cock. Need it so bad" she whines, and with that you obey, pushing yourself down on her cock, feeling her fill you up perfectly. Like she was made for you.

"you ready stargirl?"

you dont even give her enough time to reply before your lifting yourself back up and slamming yourself back down.

you start to speed up, practically bouncing up and down on her cock. slapping noises is all that can be heard from inside of the bedroom. You moan feeling the tight knot in your stomach starting to form. her cock throbs inside of you. If you weren't to focused on pleasuring your girlfriend you would have noticed.

"hey hey y/n baby its okay, your doing amazing, you feel perfect" she rubs your waist. you feel yourself calm down and start to focus on pleasuring the both of you.

The knot in your stomach snaps, you collapse on-top of your girlfriend, feeling the pure state of euphoria, like your on cloud9. Jennas orgasm follows quickly after, releasing herself into you.

Once you calmed down from your high, you gently remove yourself from your girlfriends cock, you plop yourself down next to her on the bed out of breath. She turns her head to look at you sweat sticking to her forehead "so, how about i run us a shower! and maybe a round two?" she smiles

you chuckle and nod

"you have a deal"

[kepler-station]

HII girl I love how u write and how accurate they look and I saw y do requests too! Sooo could I ask golden cheese x reader (hcs or shot idc) in the virtual world?? Like a bit of fluffy-angsty thingy idek (plus pls pls pls dead reader pls pls)

౨ৎ.𖥔˚ golden cheese cookie — fluffy & angsty relationship hcs in the virtual world

— 𝜗𝜚 hiii thankyou so much for requesting !!! 🥹🫶🏻 here u goo !!

— this is a sad one, this is actually my first time writing angst for goldie but it made me tear up 🥲🙌🏻

— maybe i went to hard on the angst ?? sorry that there's so little fluff 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

໑ৎ ׁ  ׅ♡ tw !! — delusional goldie. dead reader.

• most of the things that you and her do while in a relationship don't change but some things will definitely change and some new things will start to appear

• truth be told, you crumbled in the dark flour war along with the golden cheese kingdom when goldie was away

• in the golden city, she becomes more clingy and protective to the point it looks possessive and greedy: she refuses to let you go out without her and is reluctant to let you out her sight because she fears that the next time she looks at you, you'll be gone

• goldie has definitely told mozzarella cookie to have marzipan cookies accompany you when she isn't able to to keep you safe, fix your errors and injuries immediately, and to act as a security camera to keep you in her sights even if you're away (you can overlook the last part, it seems a little ooc and leans more into yandere territory which i dont like *shrug*)

• she still spoils you rotten and everything you desire will be laid out just for you: clothing plated with gold (or whatever design you want) that suit your body type perfectly and cater to your interests and what you tend to look for in clothing, cheeses and your favorite foods for every meal, whole sections of the castle which are designed and catered to your interests and desires, her servants wait on you hand and foot to ensure your comfort in every way possible, and anything else you could possibly want! after all, everything is possible in a virtual kingdom!

• when smoked cheese cookie reveals the truth of the golden city, goldie is quick to try to convince you that he's lying about it all, that you shouldn't trust in what he's saying

• but it gets hard to believe her when everything you've went through in the dark flour war starts flooding back to your mind

• you confront her about it and the truth is eventually revealed to you when the entire city disappears and the citizens (and you) fall into the ruins

• she's quick to check up on you for any injuries and apologies spill out of her mouth that she's been hiding this the entire time

• she knows you're dead, she knows you're gone and that you've been gone for a long time, but she loves you too much to let you go

• she knew this was bound to happen, but she can't imagine living without you; countless nights with her dutiful servants researching ways she could save everyone — and by extension you, the virtual world was the only solution she could muster up

• but it still broke her seeing how hurt you were that everything had been a lie, that you were actually dead the entire time (everyone was...)

• as you fall into a deep slumber, she spends your last moments with you, holding and caressing your hand in hers, wrapping you in her wings, telling you that her greed is too large to let you go, that you're her eternal greatest treasure, that she'll come back for you and find a way to bring you back with a life that matches the infiniteness of hers

• you fall into a deep slumber as did everyone else, reassuring her that she's in good hands before your virtual form fades away

• when she fights against dark enchantress cookie and her forces, her motivation to win this fight is you, imagining how you'd hug her when she comes back alive, happy she won and that she saved everyone

• imagining you congratulated her after she won in the war when no one did (other than her friends and the other cookies, ofc)

• imagining how happy you'd look seeing her alive and victorious at the end of the war

• imagining that you're there for her when she has nightmares and when she's at her lowest like you were in the virtual city; holding your hand and caressing it, hugging her, hushing her tears and reassuring her that it's over now, that she saved everyone and granted them the perfect utopia they count ever want

• imagining you were by her side as she walked about in the republic, gazing in awe at the new things you'd see in the republic outside of the virtual city, clapping at her when the trains her strength and attacks, eating the new foods with her in the republic

• imagining that you're still by her side when deep down she knows you aren't, that deep down she knows you're dead and that you've been dead for a long time, that she's just being delusional and that it's all in her head

• but she just can't let you go, after all, you would act the you she imagined if you were really here... right?

• she did promise you that she'll come back for you in the end to a new and safer world with you in her arms

• her friends have tried to help her, but her heart just can't let you go

• not until she crumbles with the real you in her arms, together forever in every timeline she exists in, in every timeline you exist and in every timeline you exist together

• in the end, you two reunite in the physical golden city finally together again, achieving the final happy ending you two both wanted and deserved

• or maybe it was all just another one of those imaginations goldie makes up so much?

[ohwormwood]

random thoughts i have while playing isat pt. 7

[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]

opened the game and immediately went "im gonna make odile question my sanity!!!" but of course when i enter the house Siffrin decides to turn the scripted tutorial enemy into bean paste and ruins the run--

anyways. this panel will haunt me

i. i dont even know how but. I beat the king without him ever getting a chance to make his first attack. i just kept spamming slow and two jackpots later he was dead. i didn't even knoiw that was possible.

after a bit of fucking around i decided that i was gonna move on to act 5 and promptly burst into tears

update: i accidentally posted this too early dont look at me

sat and cried through the entirety of the party's interactions in act 5

screaming crying throwing up

even the king took one look at this dude and was like "are you good man like, you can take a rest before we do this you're literally about to topple over"

that post where odile says the oven copypasta during the mal du pays scene has permanently altered my brain and i literally laughed out loud when this line appeared

i haven't talked about it before but. a while ago i made a concept for a game based off the backrooms and omori, and odile talking about someone who is forgotten may not exist is the basis for the entire game's plot, it makes me want to go back and flesh it out a bit more!!!

i am deadset on the idea of making an edit with mirabelle's reflection craft but it's an uno reverse card

simultaneously in my brain: an edit where the sound mirabelle's reflection craft makes is the metal pipe meme

i am. such a fucking sucker for sickfics. i cannot get enough of them. act 5 has enough sickfic tropes to make a million spinoff fics on its own, it brings me life and i love it dearly

wailing

this line sends me into orbit every time i see it

odile attacking siffrin. hurts so, so so badly on an emotional level for me. Because like??? i get it. i get it and it sucks and she obviously doesn't want to, but she's scared. But siffrin is even more scared in that moment, and the immediate association of that pain with being hated by odile hurts me so much.

YEAHHHH ODILE GIRLBOSS SUPREME

they're so soft and squishy and cute in this image i c a n t

incoherent WAILING. this. this image. this image just about broke me. THEYRE SO HAPPY and RELIEVED, IT HURTS,,,

the tone shift to talking to the party afterwords is still so funny to me HJBDFBSBFH like lookit him. hes so smol. so silly.

we're kidnapping bonnie guys it's official

my honest reaction to this line: LESBIANS??????

and then she hits me with:

AND I LOST IT

more silly guy siffrin,,,,, my favorite

aaaa aAAAAAAAAAAA

ISABEAU'S SPRITE CHANGING TO BE DOING A HAPPY DANCE AFTER THE CONFESSION IS SOOOOO CUTE WAAA

bonnie and odile clapping for isabeau confessing will never not be funny but ALSO it implies the bonnie knew about Isa's crush. and i for one personally believe that they picked up on it from Odile's relentless teasing of Isabeau as the #1 Isafrin shipper

mirabelle: wait you had a crush on sif?????? and i didn't know????

my roommate, who is ace: this is the aroace experience for real,,,

literally all of the second interactions with Isabeau had me and my roommate SCREAMING

HOWLING LAUGHING

OK I NEVER KNEW???? THAT SIFFRIN TOLD ISABEAU ABOUT THE BAD TOUCH EVENT?????? IN CANON???? I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT WAS A FANON THING BUT THEY ACTUALLY ADDRESS IT IN GAME AND???? ISA'S REACTION HAD ME ON THE FLOOR

siffrin: i kissed you once,,,,

isa:

the words "im being perfectly normal about this" is something i say on a daily basis so i relate to this wholeheartedly

AYO???????? ISA WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO SMOOTH????

this. this image. made my jaw hit the GODDAMN FLOOR. I WAS NOT MENTALLY PREPARED FOR IT AT ALL AND BOTH ME AND MY ROOMMATE S C R E A M E D WHEN WE SAW IT

LIKE???? HOLY FUCK SIF JESUSSSSSSSSSSS CHRIST???? how did isabeau not implode on the spot from that look bro howwwwwwwwwww

AND THEN. AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH TO MAKE MY HEART START SOBBING. ISA BLOWS YOU A KISS???? AAAA???

annnnd scene!

i will continue playing to get some of the different loop endings and i totally plan on doing two hats in the future!!! so im not quite done with this game yet i just got impatient in act 4 and i needed the Emotional Catharsis of Act 5

[geordikisser]

‘nobody knows what i see.’

seth (+ alphonse mention‼️) x guitarist!reader

——————————————————————

motivational shit :3, domestic fluff & suggestive comments ^_^

📓 ,, authors note : felt a little silly gais, considering snorts heh,,,, my silly ass play geetaur 🤓☝🏽,,!!1!1!1!! this is just like—- for me lmao L:|

——————————————————————

seth was bringing in groceries from him and alphonse shopping trip. “that’s all, al.” he calls out to the gumdrop boy as he notices alphonse is slipping and sliding to the bathroom. “andddd he’s gone,,,” he grins, a chuckle escapes him. he begins to unbag all the refrigerator items and puts them where they need to be.

humming to himself, he begins to loose himself,,, he begins putting everything away as alphonse takes a leak. “i got my boots,, i got my hat,,,” seth hums to himself as he sets the big bag of flour on the floor in the cabinet. he stretches up and grunts as he hears footsteps behind him.

“damn!!! you work fast.” al smirks as seth gives an eye roll in return. “you take to long to piss.” seth grabs the tote bags and places them by the front door. “imma start dinner! tell boo we’re home, won’t you?” alphonse calls to seth as seth slips his shoes off and puts on the bunny slippers you bought him.

he finds himself smiling whenever he slips these on. it fills him with a childlike happiness knowing you even think about him. speaking of you,,, how have you not heard them come back?

seth slides up the stairs and wonders to your guys room. “hey su—“ he cuts himself off immediately. he hears a intense(ly off tune) riff echoing from the room. followed with frustrated grunts following.

you adjust your guitars tuning and you play your warmup riff. he laughs as she sees you jump with confidence. you clear your throat as you begin plucking the intro to your favorite song at the moment.

you begin humming to keep up with the rhythm of the song. “some people think i’m acting worse for wear,,” you sing happily as seth feels his heart have a heart beat.

you get to the bridging part of it and seth has never fallen harder for you than he has then. the way you sang or even hum along melodically with your playing, it complimented eachother perfectly. to the way you would smile at certain lyrics and how you would squint your eyes to hit certain parts of the song.

seth watched you so delicately like you would disappear if he didn’t watch hard enough. “crazy for you,, oh boy,,,” you hum sweetly as those lyrics just melted upon seth’s ears. you clear your throat as you take off your headphones and place your guitar on its stand. seth had no idea you played guitar, alphonse? sure. but seth? he was enamored in more ways than one.

he gently knocks on the door and you whipped your head behind you. “a—alphy!!! i told you i don’t like it when you watch—,,” you stammer embarrassingly. as seth reveals himself, you feel even more embarrassed.

���o—oh,,, hey hunnybunny,,” you blush as he laughs at your bashfulness. “oh, seth can watch but alphonse can’t huh?” he smirks at you as he walks towards the bed. you huff with a big red blush peering on your face.

“d—didn’t say all that,,” you mutter as he giggles and takes a seat beside you. “you play guitar, sugar?” his eyes meet your shy silly ones. “y—yeahhh,, i dabbled in highschool to college sortaaa,,-?” you grin cheekily. he nods as you caresses your cheek gently.

“you’re reaaaal sweet when you act all bashful for me. don’t like an audience?” he asked as he rubbed your cheek with his thumb, feeling the heat radiate from your embarrassed face. you shake your head ‘no’ as he clicks his tongue. “whys that now, darlin’?” he asks as you look away, this time less bashfulness and more of a sad puppy gloominess.

“i,, i dont know.” you state blatantly as he guides your face to meet his. “now now,, you know why.” his eyes give you a reassuring look as you smile. “i get embarrassed easily,,, i reaaaaaally fucking hate it.” you laugh, your voice cracking awkwardly. loosing eye contact with him. “i always kinda sucked at this sorta thing,,” you admit as you hold seth’s hand with your free ones. nuzzling into his touch.

“well let me tell you something.” he begins as you look at him. “you, are the most talented person i’ve ever met.” he smiles. using both hands to cup your face. “you’re an amazing friend, lover, supporter, baker and now known guitarist! how many people can someone say that they know someone like you.” he smiles sweetly.

“nor does anyone taste as sweet as you.” he smirks as he leans in and gives you a big smooch. “real sweet.” he murmurs in a low tone going in for seconds. giggles and kisses as seth whispers sweet nothings to you. slowly, he pins you down to the bed within this kissing session.

“you are the most gorgeous.” smooch! “most funniest.” smoooooch.. “and sexiest piece of work i’ve ever seen.” he says, pulling away as he fixes your disheveled hair out of your face. both of you glowing red.

he clears his throat as he sits up with you in his arms. “what i’m saying is sugar. you are a packaged deal! you are one sweet thing and this son of a bitch (literally,,,,) is lucky to have you. and i bet alphonses stupid ass is just as grateful as i.” he smiles as his breath lingers on your neck.

you hold onto his arms as you hum in response to his sweetness. “you are one special human being and i’m glad to know you,,” he smiles. “thanks sethy,,, i love you more then you could ever know.” you sigh as he kisses your neck, tickling you. “now cmon,,,!!! alphonse is making dinner!! gotta make sure the kitchen doesn’t melt from the outside.” he teases as you giggle and jump up.

as you two walk down stairs, you hold onto seth’s pinkie. “thank you seth. for loving me.” you say before you take the last step. he turns to you and smiles. “of course suga—“

“ok loveturds. alphypoo needs help,,,” he grumbled sarcastically with a smitten look on his face. “s—sorry alphy!!” you giggle as you walk up to him, talking the ingredients and putting them to good use.

[qoldenskies]

i genuinely adore the way that anatawa hitorijanai/the third part of the finale brings back the little motif with leo falling and raph jumping to save him in bug busters because it was such an important moment that really propelled raph along in his own abilities (although i personally interpret mystic powers as being more related to the individual and their emotions, while ninpo is more about. yknow. the family and their trust with each other since its hereditary, i see it as separate. post for later) but i always find it SO WEIRD that it's treated as like. a trust fall. because leo falling was not a trust fall. it was the opposite, actually.

is it representative of raph putting himself aside for the sake of his family? oh yeah. i do believe its a point that marks a turning point in the way he perceives the role of the oldest and leader, which is why i like the parallel because he puts the same into his younger brothers' hands. but was it really an act of trust? hell no! raph spent the entire episode NOT TRUSTING LEO. they were put in that exact position because raph cared a lot about being right just as much as leo did, and draxum dropped leo because raph didn't listen to him!!

leo pushed and bitched and begged pretty much that entire episode to be listened to, and raph never truly gave him the floor because he was expecting him from the get-go to be cynical and selfish. and even though leo can be those things at times, it didnt mean he wasnt a voice worth not listening to. and that did nearly get him killed! joke aside, leo shouting about his last words meant he really, really did not actually expect raph to do something like that, and raph jumped in a blind, panicked act of desperation for leo's sake. i think learning he SHOULD trust him from that point was something that should've been clarified, or they should've left the parallel more implicit tbh.

but you know what IS an excellent parallel to bug busters? the movie! their roles are reversed! raph has well learned the importance of taking things seriously and is loudly pushing for caution, and leo is pushing him away and shrugging it off like he's just being too pessimistic, its pretty much a HERE COMES THE FUN POLICE WEEWOO. which i think is like, the equivalent to raph's "she's a nice spider lady, why are you being so negative, do you just want to prove me wrong? you're up to something"

and i think a big reason raph is so loud about the lesson he's trying to pound into leo's skull is because of the exact lesson he learned in bug busters, because he definitely does actually see a lot of himself in leo (i do love when people play around with raph going "oh god did i teach him that" about some of leo's more self-destructive behavior btw, that's good A team angst) and i dont think he wants leadership back at all. he's perfectly fine with splitting the load, because they already have been The Big Brothers from the start and leo's been his second in command and cheerleader a lot before. but leo in his eyes is being vindictive and refusing to take this seriously, and i'm sure for raph it hits a little close to home! projection moment

this was honestly just me trying to say that i think the perfect leo/raph roof moment parallel should be their fight when raph is krang-ified, leo telling raph to go save donnie and mikey, and then him leaping into the prison dimension, just like raph leapt for him, because there was no other choice in order to save lives. it's the exact same type of move, bonus points with how leo points it out, "hero moves are your style".

(also potential parallel if you choose to interpret raph's tears as he jumps off the roof as overwhelming guilt because he suddenly realizes that his own choices brought them to this point, because like.... leo crying in the prison dimension..... same thing)

point is, love the raph trust fall in the third part of the finale. but i think the point of him catching leo was that he didn't trust him, and i think it wouldve been better to the finale trust fall more about how he's grown from the behavior that put them there back in bug busters.

OH AND AND AND this is compounded in by the B team moment RIGHT AFTER THAT with donnie and mikey, because that is an ACTUAL example of two brothers that genuinely, earnestly trust each other. donnie tells mikey to let go intentionally and mikey doesn't hesitate, because he knows donnie will always be there to catch him and he trusts him wholeheartedly. the difference is jarring and most likely intentional.

[canonsinthehead]

Jujutsu Kaisen/JJK - Parenting Headcanons

(i wrote this fast please dont mind the grammar....)

Kento Nanami (w/ Itadori-chan)

Contolling mom

Way of the Househusband

Single parent by choice (things are easier if managed alone)

Itadori is his adoptive son

he makes fancy lunchs for yuji filled with veggies he cant stand BUT coming home with leftovers is assuring him a serment from Nanami.

Talking about lunches, Itadori loves the large 1-foot sandwiches the blonde man makes for him. At school, he loves to share half of it with Juunpei (when his friend doesn't have lunch or just for fun.)

Itadori always begs Megumi to make his dogs eat his leftovers veggies regardless of how much the black-haired boy tells him why it will not work. Nobara force feeds all Yuji's leftovers back to him (she thinks it's hilarious) because everytime he tossed them in trash Nanami somehow found out and pinched his ears into a coma.

unplugs wifi during the night

type of parent to catch you when you try to cook yourself a midnight snack

bad grades, skipping training = no roblox & PS5

likes to see his adopted son having friends but these gremlins better remove their shoes before stepping on freshly vacuumed and conditioned carpet (expect Megumi & Juunpei)

Nanami wakes up every morning to iron his clothes. to Itadori his ability to perfectly iron a shirt is pure witchcraft (he tried to exorcise it and failed)

he often comes off as harsh but Nanami sincerely cares about anyone under his care hence why he can be hard on certain things for the sake of that person's well being and success.

a bitter truth is better than a sweet lies

(in a regular non-sorcerer high school) he would on his official 1498538th visit to the school principal's office for his son getting into fights

would pat your head

early bird (4-5am)

love language: act of service and quality time

nanami is not the "physical touch" type of person but doesn't resist itadori's hugs.

Toji Fushiguro (w/ Megumi)

if you pull a "is that you?" or mention anything related to the Zenin clan, it's an AUTOMATIC beat down.

Megumi is embarrassed of him whenever they hang out since he is preserving his "broke man habits" especially how obnoxiously Toji eats inhales food. Megumi will never admit it but when it relates to food/table manners he prefers Gojo's conduct in public over his dad's by a millimeter.

showers at the 24/7 gym when he can. would sleep in the lockers when one of his sugar mama/"girlfriend" gets tired of him

bring his ladies home after-hour for a back-breaking session whether Megumi is there or not (YIKES)

type to get a job and get fired superrr fast (no more than a month or even as short as 2 weeks). he gets kicked out for various reasons: getting into fights, stealing, seducing or smashing somebody's gf/wife, bad customer service, etc. his longest-standing job was at a strip club (nobody knows what position he had).

own 2 pairs of shoes and one is falling apart

always late or absent to Megumi's event

DONT ASK!!! all his "girlfriends" think they can change like his wife did for him

talks loud on speaker phone (not for shady business tho)

goes to night clubs to antagonize people

night owl

love language (with his gfs): physical touch & receiving gifts. btw the gifts are for him and he takes the "physical" side VERY seriously. he always make sure the send his partner into pure ecstasy but dont get it twisted he still thinks about his wife.

love language (with Megumi): hey i'm here so... maybe act of service.

[jaetyun]

can we get a kim tae rae as your secret boyfriend😌

Taerae as your secret boyfriend; a thread!

taerae x gn!reader

wc: 1.0k

fluff

a/n: this was a collab w the bestest ever @vie2sie 🫶🫶 check her out if you wanna see more of this!

you guys weren't one of those "private, not secret" relationships. it was FULL ON

your parents were too strict on dating. plus with you were in the popular clique the expectations from everyone had you avoiding relationships

and you were doing well

until ur loverboy showed up.

being caught with the schools most known CHOIR KID was not something taerae wanted for you.

so.. this was ur last resort.

not that you didn't love each other! you just kept it on the low

he would defo give you the most extra attention and affection when you'd finally be alone

according to him, it was his only chance since it "wasnt as often as other couples"

night walks and playing in the kids playground (also at night), was THE ideal meet ups.

and yes taerae would always forget his coat to make u cuddle him for warmth.

"its an accident babe!!" "im bringing a hoodie for you next time" ":("

whenever you both would be in school and he would noticed your signature scent, he'd look down before smiling in his locker idiotically.

if someone caught him being DOWN BAD - like doing exactly that, ^^, he'd say he got an a+ on his latest project (bc you were the best he could get 🤞)

eventually the relationship gets spilled because someone got too touchy!!!!

they would end up making taerae uncomfortable through no personal space, and then in you swoop and just randomly kiss him in front of the confessor

oh well.. so much for a secret!

you should've known better before dragging your shy boyfriend to the biggest school event of the year; hoco.

homecoming! it seemed perfect.. or so you thought.

what started as you would "run into each other" and wanting to "act friendly" became you watching him carefully whenever you guys werent engaged in conversation.

you styled him all cute, and between the way his eyes glistened and hair flowed perfectly, he was undeniably eye candy.

taerae never cared for dressing nicely, comfort over appearance in his book! but for this one special occasion, he allowed you to doll him up.

that was mistake #1. all the people approaching him had your eyes burning holes into the back of his skull.

“earth to y/n??” you peer back to your group of friends, softly smiling. you decided to shrug it off for now. taerae s a big boy, he can handle himself fine! even with the pit in your stomach telling you otherwise, you figured you shouldnt be a helicopter partner. i mean.. you guys arent even public

your patrolling became more scarce as time went on, mistake #2. slowly people turned into person, singular. they were *determined* to bring taerae home that night, which you were oblivious to.

his pleading glances become background noise to the drama your friend was spilling.

*ding ding*

what was that? a text! and its from your boyfriend. you glance his way, where you see that person still at it, touching him a little too often and for a little too long.

his eyes bored into you, as if he was asking you to do something. you sent each other telepathic messages with your expressions, with the conclusion being you’d put an end to their roaming hands.

“sorry, im gonna go get more snacks” you blatantly lied, going the opposite direction of the snack bar.

when you approached the two of them, the girl shared an unsuspecting smile.

“oh, y/n!” you gave a short wave, turning to taerae quickly.

“youve met?” you asked, leaving him to firmly shake his head. “not until this party” you slowly looked him up and down, truly taking in his beauty.

you dont blame her for wanting him, hell who wouldnt when he looks like *that*. you link your elbow with his, closing the gap.

“im glad to see you making new friends!”

“we’ll be more than friends after this~” she chimes, sending him a wink. his polite smile remained, even with the subtly eye twitch only you picked up on.

“oh? i didnt know she was your type” his eyes softened once the two of you made eye contact, his gaze staring at your features.

she scoffed out, crossing her arms and popping a hip.

“can you stop being such a bitch?”

you tilted your head condescendingly, the challenge in your eyes just barely being detected.

“im not being a bitch, am i?” your boyfriend mindlessly shook his head, muttering words of agreement to you. she rolled her eyes, pointing at you accusingly.

“you dont even date! ive been with him *all night* and now youre just.. suddenly into him? dont be jealous.” she clicked her tongue, victory written all over her face. people started looking over in curiosity. whys she yelling? you saw more heads turn, but at this point you could care less.

“jealous?” taerae spoke up, removing his arm from ours before wrapping it around your waist. “i think youre mistaken. theres nothing to be jealous over.” his tone made you dizzy, the smirk on his face making you feel as if you had just fallen for him for the second time.

his extra hand gently held onto your chin, pulling you into a quick kiss. she stared back in disbelief. the grin was long wiped off her face, and replaced by pure rage.

“what! but! when..” her stammering only increased, glancing between the two of you with about a million question swarming through her head.

“youre both absurd” she chokes out, storming herself out of the room. it became increasingly easier to ignore all the eyes glued to the two of you. will you end up regretting it tomorrow? who knows! all you could think about right now was the giddy smile on his face.

“why are you so happy?”

“i finally get to show the world youre mine” he kissed your forehead softly, and now you both shared the same expression.

when you finally give the crowd the time of day, all you did was lazily look side to side, facing him again.

“is this our cue to leave?” you chuckled, watching as he nodded in agreement.

taerae looked around as well, giving everyone a small acknowledging wave. “well be on your way!” he pointed towards the door, leading you out.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Hellow, i just reblogged that post about the cauldron loving elain and I have been seized with a need to figure out what the hell is going on with that so I shall read one (1) chapter if acomaf to bring me closer to my goal. For the record, I did know about the cauldron loving elain and hating nesta because idk, nesta was angry and annoying when she was dunked into it but elain was just so sweet and demure about it probably, i did not think it was. romantic love. but this is a sjm book so I was foolish to assume there would be a male character whos not insanely horny. Actually, is the cauldron even male? He is in the german version but thats just bc the word cauldron is masculine grammatically. Quick someone draw like, a tumblr sexyman humanized version of the cauldron. actually no, tumblrsexymen are traditionally twinks and sjm hates those. Quick someone draw like, a super buff shirtless man with golden hair, or whatever the color of the cauldron is

anyway, PREVIOUSLY ON: THE FLAMES AND DARKNESS LIVEBLOG we had the Court on Nightmares Under The Mountain Reenactment Scene as I like to call it and can we talk about how Feyre has known Rhys for like a year and only liked him for like half a year and yet she was perfectly fine sitting in his lap nacked and letting herself be sexualized by him. Like, I dont even have any kind of sexual trauma, you would still need to build up sooooo many years of friendship and good will for me to do that for you and you would NOT be allowed to jerk me off!! whatever, lets get on with this, its time for chapter 43

I hate that Rhysand is being all like "i shouldnt have brought you, i didnt want you to see this side of me" when its like, buddy you didnt have to do all this shit you couldve just walked in an been like "Im your high lord and demand your orb" and they wouldve given it to you because youre their high lord and youre demanding their orb. And if he thought they wouldnt have given it to him, he couldve easily come up with a different distraction he just went with the one that sexualizes Feyre because hes weirdo. Like, if hes so cruel on every other day then he shouldve acted really nicely, greeted Keir by giving him the biggest hug and being like "uncleeeee!! :D long time no see :)" and Feyre should have been dressed up as like, the embodiment of spring in pastel green soft shades of pink and but Rhysand still treats with the utmost kindness and respect, now that would throw the Hewn City for a loop

Okay so the reason Rhys broke keirs arm is because the word 'whore' triggered him which is understandable but like, Feyre thought of herself as the Highlords Whore in a very deliberate parallel to Rhysand being known as Amarantha's Whore and Im pretty sure she even straightup thought something about being in the position he had for so many years but she was like, horny about it and the narrative just isnt acknowledging it. Like, theyre not talking about it even though their mindlink was presumably open the whole time bc I remember them flirting through the link, and Feyre isnt even like "oh man, I feel bad for thinking that when its so upsetting to him" its so weird

Rhysand basically said "I will never try to protect you by locking you away, instead I will protect you by killing anyone who upsets you, even when they dont actually upset you and they just upset me" like he and Tamlin are not fundamentally any different from each other, its just that Rhysand is a coldblooded murderer. but its fine cuz he wears black leather i guess

I just realized. Rhysand had a boner when Feyre was sitting in his lap. did that go away when he broke Keirs arm or did he walk out of that meeting with his dick fully hard

Listen, maybe its just because its 3am and Im a little sleepdeprived but this conversation barely makes any sense, these bozos are just completely talking past each other at this point

Rhysand just said something about how Tamlin just locked Feyre up and let her waste away and almost die and Feyre was gonna say "He was trying his best" but Rhys interrupted her like "Dont compare me to him, stop comparing us" when she didnt say anything about that ??? my guy is projecting so hard rn he thinks theyre having a conversation that theyre not even having

And like i would argue that Feyre doesnt even compare Rhysand and Tamlin that much, the narrative definitely does it a LOT, but Ive been reading Feyres thoughts throughout this whole ordeal and I feel like she barely even thought about Tamlin since she sent him that letter

This scene is supposed this big turning point for their relationship and its clearly meant to be really emotional but the only emotion i can feel rn is annoyance with Rhysand because its like, he did have genuinely traumatic things that happened to him but not only is he barely affected by any of them, those are not even the things that the narrative brings up whenever its trying to get me to sympathise with him instead its always just "whaaaaaaa everyone thinks Im nasty and evil just because i keep doing nasty and evil things T-T"

Feyre is being very cruel but in a kinda funny way because its directed at Rhysand rn, i would insert the quote but I am in no state to translate anything at the moment but shes basically like "of course you have to hide your true self from your friends, they wouldnt wanna hang out with otherwise, you burden"

Idk why but the prose being like "my arrow struck him too deep" is so funny to me, it has the same energy as the vampire fics i read where the weird gay one gets his heart broken and he goes "it wouldve hurt less if he staked me in the heart"

Feyre is like "i cant believe he was so vulnerable and shared his sorrows with me and just threw all of it in his face" and I could not give less of a shit, but ive been on a big emotional abuse kick lately so now Im thinking about what if Feyre was just faking having feelings for Rhys in order to make him fall in love with her and be vulnerable with her only to then tell him the truth and reject the mating bond and make him completely break down as revenge for UTM. now that would actually be empowering

Now Feyre is thinking about how shes been using Rhysand for a long time now and come onnnnnn there is such a big power difference between them, I genuinely think its basically impossible for her to do that. Like, hes the most powerful guy in the history of guys or whatever, if anything you were doing bothered him that much he could simply make you stop doing it. hm. now Im thinking about what if rhysand was actually a huge masochist. Now that would actually be hot

Feyre is talking about how all the members of the inner circle suffered and are traumatized and theyve all learned to live with it and, not to extend too much sympathy to Rhysand, but all of the ICs major traumatic events happened centuries ago, his traumatic event happened one (1) year ago and it lasted 49 years i think its gonna take a little more time till hes all better

ughhhhhhh dont remind me of Amrens stupid romance subplot im gonna kill myself

Starfall is called Die Nacht der fallenden Sterne [the night of the calling stars] in german which is so much cooler and more whimsical, shoutout to my gal pal Alexandra Ernst for attempting to reinsert atleast a little bit of whimsy into this joyless world

Also, apparently its expected that Rhysand spend the first starfall in fifty years with his people, his people in this case referring to the Verlarians in the city that no one knows exists and not the people living in his courts actual capital. then again, i guess those bozos are all trapped under a mountain and wouldnt be able to watch it anyway so who cares

Amren said "hes not lucky to have us, we're lucky to have him" like yeah, hes paying you all exorbitant salaries just for being his buddies

God, amrens jacking rhys off so hard rn I cant believe she didnt wanna have sex with him when he asked

btw Im not even gonna dignify all that vaguely meta bullshit about how Tamlin is the golden prince and rhysand is the villain in the stories but the villain in stories is the guy who locks maidens away in towers and rhys freed her with anx kind of commentary because its just stupid, its just sjm bashing you over the head with how subversive she is when Tamlin and Rhysand are basically the same guy with different aesthetics at this point, like Feyre is not making a choice between the goodboy hero and the badboy villain, shes making a choice between a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold (green) and a Bad Boy with a Heart of Gold (black)

[hrodvitnon]

Dr. Graham noticing that ilene gets very flustered and clumsy when kong is around. Puts two and two together.

Graham: *smirking* soooo, you and kong huh?

Ilene: i dont know what you mean

Graham: oh please. I seen the way you act around him. You get all sweaty and your knees buckle

Ilene: kong is just a friend, okay? There is nothing going on

Graham: oh suuure. And i'm sure friends leave bite marks on each other.

Ilene: *quickly covers her neck* YOU CAN SEE THAT?!

Graham: nope. You just told me

Ilene: *blushes, and quickly leaves*

Graham: *smirk* she totally has the hots for him.

Later!

Ilene: You can't prove anything!

Vivienne: Look, it's normal, so you can relax now. Emma's dating two-thirds Ghidorah, Maia Simmons is dating one-third Ghidorah, I'm dating--

Ilene: Yeah, but that doesn't mean everyone is attracted to the Titans! Kong and I are just friends.

Vivienne, glancing behind Ilene: ...real quick, say "honey".

Ilene: "Honey"?

Kong, walking up: Hi, babe! Look at these flowers I picked! I saw them and kinda thought about how they'd bring out your eyes...

Ilene: Oh... thank you!

Vivienne: See? Perfectly normal.

[sneakystorms]

misc spoilerous saltburn thoughts

love how oliver went off and mordered two people in two days but then sat on his ass for however many years waiting for the dad to die of natural causes. love how they came JUSSSST short of implying he long distance assassinated him

speaking of, the dad is the only family member oliver didn't manage to fuck in some way. come on man. commit

it's weird how the story couldn't commit to anything strong enough to make it interesting... like the absurdly rich family has a few satirical moments but isn't rich people satire in the end because too much of their screentime is spent being kind of realistic. oliver doesn't come across as sinister or evil because he has those scenes at the very beginning of him being pathetic and unpopular before he had any reason to put on an act. like if he actually knows how to act normal and comb his hair well... why doesnt he.... i was kind of waiting for a parasiteesque 'rich people can afford to be nice but poor people have to be cruel to survive' but then that wasnt the case. it could have done a secret historyesque thing where the ugliness of poverty is contrasted with the allure of the beauty of wealth but then he wasn't actually poor. i could have vibed with a 'boy is ashamed of boring middle class upbringing, sees allure both in extreme wealth and extreme poverty' sort of commentary but that is not even hinted at. it's just so mid, like some of the visuals go hard but the only thing the story commits to is various kinds of shock value, nothing of real substance

farleigh was like by far the most compelling part of the whole film like???

the scene with him and felix is FAR more interesting and nuanced than the rest of the plot put together. the way it makes you think about their relationship growing up and how it might have felt. the way it shines a light onto the fraughtness of farleigh's own position in the family, paralleling oliver's. the way farleigh brings up the racial context, clearly a bit hesitant, and the way felix reacts (one of the few moments where he's actually less than perfect. maybe the only one once the story moves on from oxford??). the way felix, despite often being the one to chastise or criticise his family's inappropriate behaviour, now comes not only to side but to identify with his family (esp his father) and its decisions (he shifts from 'my father has been beyond generous' to 'maybe we have done all we can')

his confrontation with oliver at the party where he shows full confidence he'll be accepted back into the family despite causing them serious trouble, simply because he belongs and oliver doesn't? genuinely interesting, especially in contrast with that earlier scene with felix where he appeared uncertain

only family member to make it out alive. icon

love how oliver tried to get him on his side and he just responded with ultimate cunt move

ok moving on. did anyone else notice that in that little montage of oliver settling in at saltburn and being more at ease, all the three saltburn kids take turns to read deathly hallows?? lol

i have to say after farleigh the mom was my favourite part of the movie. she got most of those rare satirical lines and she delivered them perfectly. times new roman queen

love how oliver bothered to actually kill felix but with venetia he just left her those razors and she went hmmm guess i might as well

what is the fucking point of having a labirynth in your movie if no one is gonna get lost in it????? no random police officers dont count

and what was the point of venetia saying ooh the full moon is gonna make us all crazy. that had nothing to do with anything. i was really expecting the family to ritually sacrifice oliver and to have done so with felix's previous friends but no that'd be too interesting

are those glasses even prescription?

[alias-mike]

i let the autism win

(i am going to tell you about compelling cytus 2 straight relationships) (my headcanons might get mixed in because its been 2 years since i read the lore and i dont feel like reading the 1000+ page transcription rn)

ALSO SPOILER WARNING FOR THE CYTUS 2 STORY

OK STARTING OFF WITH MY FAVOURITE ONE. CONNER X SASHA

incredibly egotistical guy (conner) who thinks hes better than everyone else meets his match in an academic setting but cant talk to her (sasha) because she graduates early and leaves. therefore he does the perfectly normal thing of stealing identity information of a bunch of random citizens from the government to sell on the black market bc sasha is also there as a mole for the police. he acts super incompetent to make her feel bad and help him sell the information for the best price and they end up forming a partnership for a while. their final job goes wrong as the police busts in and doesnt believe sasha when she says shes also part of the police bc her captain deleted her civilian identity file as part of the mission and that guy died in the raid so shes cooked. conner saves her at the last second and, dropping the act, tells her that he saved a copy of her civilian file and will be driving her to the nearest city and she can choose what she wants to do from there. shes super mad at him for decieving her but is grateful for the out that hes given her and leaves for the city with no internet to start fresh, assuming they would never see each other again. fast forward to the Plot and conner seeks her out again for help on some stuff and their modern dynamic is conner going "youre so cool and awesome haha...... we were such a good team back in the day....... you should run away with me" and sasha is like "no." its completely played for comedy (in my understanding) since the writing makes it clear that sasha has put her old life behind and only humours conner because hes an old friend (its been several years since the deception thing so i would assume she made peace with it and came to the conclusion that overall conner is chill) but she has a life of her own now. meanwhile shes the closest thing conner has ever had to a friend because shes the only (alive) person he sees as an equal so even though he knows its futile, he tries to convince her to come with him anyway. they were never really together and will never be together, and thats what makes their relationship interesting.

next up........ cherry x xenon !

this one is fun bc they start the story as exes. they dated when they were younger but broke up for reasons i can only describe as "her dad killed his dad and that really puts a strain on a relationship yk". basically cherrys dad got involved with organized crime after her mom died and he lost his job and xenons dad is a cop who was investigating said organized crime so they got into a Conflict and cherrys dad ended up killing xenons dad and severely injuring his sister. cherry also never told xenon abt this during their relationship bc its a bit difficult to bring up the whole "my dad does crime and sometimes i do it too" to the guy whos dad is a cop. the way they find out what happened is a bit. well funny isnt the right word but basically xenon is like "MY DAD AND SISTER GOT SHOT" and cherry was like "OH NO THATS HORRIBLE" so they rush to the hospital to visit them and see a news report about the incident and the perpetrator getting arrested and cherrys like "oh..............." they got in a huge fight after that and justifiably break up but deep down they still love each other and just. havent talked about it for several years after that. later some Plot stuff happens, they kinda reconcile a little bit, and cherry ends up injured in a fight. they were chilling at a base with really good medical facilities tho so the boss was like "here stay in this Healing Tube for a while and youll be fine" but uh oh! the evil bad guys attack and turn off all of the power in the base, including cherrys life support, and they turn the power back on too late so she dies and xenon is completely devastated over it because they never properly reconciled (i think there was something like he never said "i love you"? but i will have to reread lore to confirm. huge angst moment if true tho). i think they have an interesting arc in its tragedy. is it kinda contrived? yeah. but i think its thematically appropriate for the relationship where the whole thing is that something always went unsaid (first the crime thing, then how they actually still liked each other) ended with something unsaid, yk.

side note: theres even more tragedy to the situation considering the way they turned the power back on. ok basically theres a 12 year old girl named nora (shes the aforementioned boss) (shes a mafia boss) (its a long story) and she was experimented on as a baby and left to die to The Virus when the experiment failed but she survived and the scientists were like "holy crap can she be the key to a cure!?" so they took her back to the lab and raised her. shes disabled due to the initial experiments requiring her legs to be amputated and also happens to be mute but shes a genius so she built a robot to talk for her since she was stuck in her room all day (no one figured it was a good idea to give her mobility aids until several years down the line) (their idea of parenting was also like. playing chess with her once in a while). she also got into making edm songs for a while. later, she makes a robot known to the players as robo_head to be her bodyguard since they figure out that the virus gave her powers to see/hear through any camera or microphone connected to the internet and decide to use it for profit by touting her as an "oracle". now is a good time to mention that cytus 2 is a science.... fantasy? story where everyone has a brain chip to connect to the internet. anyways the more nora uses her powers the worse her eyesight gets and its also generally harmful to her health. robo_head is basically her only friend and she ends up having to send him off for reasons i wont get into rn and somewhere down the line he gains sentience and makes his way back to her. nora is enraged that he came back at first but after some persistence she lets him in and finds out about these developments, and is ultimately happy to have her friend back. when the power gets cut, robo_head knows that cherry needs help and volunteers to use himself as the power source which would essentially fry his circuits. nora refuses at first since she just got him back, but understands the importance of saving cherry so she ends up agreeing. unfortunately, its too late, so basically two people had to die for no reason ! (luckily nora ends up being able to fix robo_head after the end of the game but he was Gone for a while)

OK TANGENT OVER. BACK TO SHIPS. UHH sagar and rin are a thing

there was lore im pretty sure but i forgot so all i remember is that sagar is a pretty confident guy except when he has to talk to rin, in which cases he loses all of his skills ever and his dialogue mainly consists of "ummm uhm uhhh" and rin is also too nervous to notice how unskilled sagar is being. this is the only couple who gets a happy ending btw

honourable mention: whatever ilka(?) and rald had going on. classic nonhuman who is fascinated with humanity via one specific guy x guy who is unintentionally being very attractive. idk. i would tell you more about it but my dlcs are LOCKED and TAKEN AWAY from me 👎

there are also many gay ships but one of them is literally the plot of the game so it would make this post even longer if i started talking about them lmao

^said plot summarized in one image btw

OK THATS IT THANKS FOR READING!!!!

[mithliya]

In regards to ppl jumping down your throat about that post (TM). 1) you're right. But 2) Like... I can see how discussing participating in sex acts with a trans woman is no different from having them with any other male is something that has merit.... But thats not RADICAL FEMINIST content. Like, is it gender critical content? Probably? Thats where it fits better. It would be more appropriate to tag it as such. But radical feminism isnt JUST gender criticality!!! Like, being gender critical is a part of radical feminism but They! Are! Not! The! Same! Thing!

And yeah, people instantly assuming that you asking "how is talking about giving a male person oral sex so explicitly (and in a way that would immediately alienate a lesbian reader... who the post is supposedly for????) is in any way relevant to radical feminism?" Meant that you were saying "female heterosexuality is unsightly and i dont want to see it and also het women need to shut up forever".

(And also the comparison of lesbians being like... I dont want posts about sucking dick to abound in the radfem tag is in ANY WAY AT ALL similar to homophobic people not wanting to see women kiss.... Like???? Thanks for being so bald-faced about your homophobia. Its not the same actually but its interesting to see that you think a minority asking an innocuous question is the same as oppression)

Dear. God. Some people on this site just fucking love to assume the worst from you and needlessly attack you about it. They bring all their lesbophobic assumptions into ANY discussion that you happen to have.

I'll tell you what a rational response could have been to the question you posed. "I think this is relevant based on gender critical beliefs that radfems hold and i wanted to share my experience with that audience"

That doesnt mean that anyone has to agree about whether or not it was a relevant post for a FEMINIST TAG based on FEMINIST CONTENT. But the way ppl responded to you was ABSOLUTELY DERANGED. Words in your mouth. Baseless assumptions. Critique based on things you didnt say. Like..... ????? HUH???

If ppl were normal the convo could have ended with you saying "actually i dont think this is relevant to radical feminist analysis. I think you should have used a different tag for this". Instead you had to have paragraphs long responses where you had to pick apart the lesbophobic rhetoric that is being tossed your way and defend yourself FOR LICHERALLY JUST ASKING A QUESTION.

You didnt even ask an inflammatory question! You didnt even ask it with intent to attack the original OP.

Not only is gender critical and radfem tumblr just.... Fucking radioactive with lesbophobia, but people *specifically* attack you with SO MUCH hostility and treat everything you say with so much bad faith. Like???? Its fucking exhausting to just read, i cannot imagine how fucking irritating it must be to experience it constantly. I wonder if perhaps... Hmmm.. there might be a specific form of oppression you face that might make you more likely to face these attacks.... Hmmm... i think it starts with "race" and ends with "ism". I have not seen white lesbians with similar politics to you facing the same backlash on EVERYTHING they say.

And accusing you of faking anons???????? HUH????? Yeah no, you -- a blog with thousands of followers who regularly gets anons -- MUST OBVIOUSLY have to send urself messages to show ppl agree with you and your opinions 🙄 maddening.

u said it all perfectly anon 😭 and yeah funnily enough it’s very clear people treat me differently, like even if ppl want to argue i’m an obnoxious drama queen or whatever, women who are that & worse still don’t get treated the same way. but if i point out maybe there’s some sort of prejudice underlying ppl treating me differently then i get mocked and belittled further 🤭 oh well. that whole interaction was just insane bc she straight up just lashed out at me & put a bunch of words in my mouth simply bc she saw that i’m a lesbian. funnily enough these things happen even when i word things in the mildest least confrontational way possible so i don’t even know what to do to to get ppl to chill out

[turkeyjournal]

book review: The bastard of istanbul by Elif Shafak

Just want to preface there WILL be spoilers so, dont read if you dont want spoilers.

OVERALL RATING: 7.9/10

Brief descripition: The book starts of with a women who goes into a hospital to get an abortion ultimately failing to do so in the process.

fast forwards to 20 years later where we meet Asya Kascanzi that lives in istanbul with her extended family. One day her mysterious american armenian cousin comes to visit her trying to find secerts of both their families pasts..

My Personal Thoughts: When i first saw the book i was skeptickal at first. I love drama fiction, esspeically when its to do with family drama. This book had alot of strong language and so many new words i had no clue meant. I liked the challenge of reading it; plus there were no spelling errors. I actually didnt have an underlying favorite charcter, i loved and hated each charcter throughout the story.

Ending was very bittersweet, I did not like the ending. It felt very sudden. In the end when theyy were talking about Asyas father and how they had mentioned Zahilia (her mother) had been r*ped i kind of as a thought said "oh maybe its her brother because she weirdly doesnt feel excited for his arrivel to istanbul and maybe her brother had r*ped her." Did i even for the slighest think i was right? NO, i didnt want to believe it was true and after finding out that disgusting truth i didnt know how to feel. Like I liked Mufasa but then we find out he r*ped Zahilia, HIS SISTER??? Yeah tottally caught me off gaurd, and it was mentioned in the last pages and i was just trying to finish the book and BOOM. And then HE DIES. OUT OF THE BLUE??? AND LIKE I FELT SO BAD FOR ROSE, HIS WIFE. Like she was finally goes out of the US and goes to this country and the MOMENT SHE STEPS IN THE COUNTRY, HER HUSBAND JUST DIES. I didnt really like rose during the book because she was really annoying and it became tedious to read her dialogue, but after she had asked her daughter in the end to translate whats going on because she didnt know that in islam after the person dies, they bury the corpse immediately and must've been such a shock for her.

One thing i wanted to touch in the book was the display of islam and religion through out the story. Me, i am a muslim since birth so whenever there is Islam mentioned in the book i get really nervous but i was plesantly suprised to see good repersentation. Maybe because the author is muslim so obviously that would make sense. its very apparent that the displays of islam is portrayed perfectly but the whole djinn thing with Aunt Banu really made it sort of intoreable to read in a way. But i will say, seeing that perspective was intersting esspeically how ive all my life never wanted to get into that side of the world and islam, for my saftey and others. So seeing it and the dangers it gives was a great warning and to show how even talking with djinn is bad.

There was a part in the story when they had Asya and Aramoush both discuss in the chat room about Armenian and Turkish Massacre in 1915. The whole chat room was talking with Asya and cursing her people for what happened and how her people are ignoorant and they dont want to face what had happened then. And Asya says this quote that even the author had pointed out as never said before. It was so true and exactly how i felt when reading this passage because i was getting frustrated at how these people were acting and just ranting at Asya for something that even she didnt even know until Aramoush had arrived.

"Tell me, what can i do as an ordinary Turk in this day and age do to ease your pain?"

Page 261, And wow. What a quote. And then following that. It was written by the wise man behind the screen, Baron Baghdassarian. He says:

"Turks have been in the habit of denying their wrongdoings, the Armenians have been in the habit of savoring the cocoon of victimhood."

Page 263, Beautifully sums up the wisdom behind this book that bring into light about the situation.

I really loved the maturity that Aramoush and Asya had gained throughout the story. Both learning and understanding each other and learning more about how to love their culture and their past by one another was just perfect and beautifully unified the story all together.

All in all, i think this story was good. I defenitly was glued to the book some days and then some times it would be 30 pages and then im doen for the day. Its story could have some working, esspeically that end with how abruptly we were thrown with all that information. Would i reccommend it? Yes, but only to a certian demographic of people. And dont ask what type of people, i dont know. Just you will know after you read it.

[darling-stay-with-me]

Who are your favourite CF/OC ships and characters? Why?

Chicago Fire Characters

Matt Casey - Jesse Spencer bought me to this show and i love everything about Matt - he is caring and loving. he cares about the people in his life in such a profound way

Sylvie Brett - i have loved her character development on the show - she went from such a shy character to being this badass paramedic PIC and it is amazing

Stella Kidd - love seeing the female firefighter thing explored. i wish we got to see more of Stella's history as she sounds like she has been through a lot of difficult things

Violet Makami - such good addition to the cast. I think the actress as proven that she can act her ass off in the last few episodes.

Evan Hawkins - MY LOVE. just a good soul who deserved better

Peter Mills - the way he treats everyone is just so heartwarming. he was one of the only ones that went and comforted Casey after Hallie died. The way he treats Gabby after they break up with so much respect and love. He deserved better storylines

Wallace Boden - the heart and soul of the firehouse. there is no Chicago fire without Boden

Leslie Shay - provided so much humor to the show and i wish they did more with her character. i wish she had more serious relationships on the show

Gabby Dawson (until like her last couple of seasons) - i loved her badassness. the way she took control of a scene. this was also her downfall. but she had so much fight in her and i loved that

Ships

Brettsey - i think these two are so perfectly matched. they are both good people that have been through hell and back and deserve to be loved and happy. i hope they work things out.

Hawkami - oh what could have been. the whole sort of forbidden love thing i liked. the way evan looked at Violet and supported her made me fucking melt.

Stellaride - Stella bought out the best in Severide. he was a dickhead up to her coming onto the show. loved everything about their relationship

Dawsey - very cute from the beginning. the whole friends who are really in love with one another was good. they complemented each other in some ways but were the worse in others

Cruz and Chloe - they are just cute

Hallie and Matt - didn't really see much of their relationship but i loved what i saw. they had fire and they were cute

Chicago Med Characters:

Daniel Charles - the only sane one of the whole hospital. can he fucking run the show

Crockett Marcel - the next sane one i think. he is still reckless but better than others. i also like his backstory. it is tragic but it brings more to his character

Maggie Lockwood - another sane one - she has got a lot of fight to her and i enjoy this

Ships

Natalie and Crockett - the one and only ship i was here for. i liked their chemistry. i wasn't expecting to like it but i just wanted Natalie far away from Will that i was gonna take anything i could. But Crockett gave her so much love and i wish we got to see more of them.

I dont watch Chicago PD

[fortwall]

the first time my mom realized i’ve been self-harming, she told me “if you’re going to kill yourself, then make sure you’re really dead.” In other words, don’t trouble anyone

And so, for a long time i made it my goal. Little by little, i tried to built up my courage to slice onto my skin even deeper, hoping that it would cut through a vein. I’d bleed, and bleed, and just bleed until that’s all i ever know what to do

it was a little forced at first. My conscience telling me that it isn’t any good. It really isn’t. But i felt like i had something to prove. I wanted my mom to eat her words, or maybe it’s to convince myself that i’m not just imagining my pain. Maybe both.

every single day, i went home, dropped my bag on the floor, changed out of my school uniform, and took the little razor i stored in my pencil case. It was wrapped in a paper, remnants of blood from previous use remain on it and on the sharp portion of the blade. I liked seeing it, it’s as if i’m reminiscing on my previous achievements. And then, after i put my headphones on, i’ll cut along with the song. I especially liked those long deep cuts that reached as far as the half of my arms, the ones that seemed to never stop oozing blood

Before i knew it, it became such a holistic activity for me. I didnt know any other way i could relieve myself, couldve talked to my mom and tell her i’m hurting but you see i dont understand it either. How i became this way. so i never have the sufficient words to say. So if you asked me way i did it, then all i can tell is that it started to feel good

besides, i didnt find the use of explaining myself to someone who’s so deadset on believing that it’s something i did merely for attention. Or how i idolize my cousin too much who likewise engaged in this sinful act. Or how i think too much to the point it’s unrealistic. by all means, think the fuck you want if that’s what makes you feel better. After all, you’ve brought me up so perfectly, so what could’ve gone wrong

still, in the end, i’m thankful for you, and i love you

but i’m stopping this. no, i already stopped it. forgive me if i had to abandon some parts of you so i can grow past it. we can choose to go on with our lives while burying that this has happened, and i’d be fine with it. in fact, right now, i prefer it so please, don’t bring it up