#but i just have a lot of feelings about this ok
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gang baby
❝she told you she celibate, but she told me i can nail her shit!❞
♡ sylus, caleb, rafayel, zayne, xavier ♡
sypnosis: you're just a girl. yeah, you can't decide between five hot LI's presented to you in the popular otome game, love and deepspace, but that's okay. who said you can't have them all? literally.
wc: 11k (lots of smut beware)
a/n: valentines day special!! guys, don't question it, ok? i wrote this with my whole pussy. ok bai. (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)
reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated <3
content: all lads LI's x fem!reader (yes, you read right), gangbang, slight plot, reader gets transported in lads universe, smut (no details, find out hehe), all acts are consensual, not edited. disclaimer: not based off tomorrow's catch-22!!
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
"fuck!" you yelled out in frustration, chucking your phone off your bed as the poor device fell on the floor with a loud thud. you could hear your best friend giggling from your laptop, making you shoot her a sharp glare.
"shut up." you sneer, but it only fueled her laughter more.
"damn, infold really hates you, bro." she pokes further at your miserable failure, making your shoulders slump in defeat as you grumble.
"i can't believe it. i've been grinding for two months straight to save up fifteen thousand diamonds for the valentines day banner! i was sure i'd pull them all, and you're telling me i only got two out of the five?? this is a fucking joke." you ranted, making your friend hum as she understood your anger.
"yeah, i'd be mad as hell too. but hey, at least you got sylus and caleb. just watch the rest on twitter or something." your best friend tried to comfort you, but it only made you pout.
"but i want them all." you sulked, making her roll her eyes.
"you're such a whore." she sighed, making you grin.
"duh, why choose one when i can have them all." you nonchalantly responded.
"yeah, yeah, forgot you had no shame." she shook her head in disbelief.
"man, i don't know what else to do. i literally milked the game dry, there's no other way i can get more diamonds for more pulls before the event ends. this is so unfair." you whined, fingers tangled in your hair.
"you can always-"
"no. i'm not giving those greedy hoes my money." you cut off her suggestion, your tone stern.
you were a poor college student who worked part-time at a stationery supply store (living the aesthetic life while crying over classes and fictional men); money's tight, and you're not about to spend hundreds on this because you know it'd become a horrible habit sooner or later.
despite being broke, your spending habits were outrageous.
"yeah girl, then i don't know what to tell ya. i'm chilling with my rafayel card. oh shit, it's almost three in the morning, bitch. we have class tomorrow, go to sleep." she yawned tiredly.
"you're leaving me just like that? after i went through so much pain and trauma? is this how deep our ten years of friendship runs? just say you hate me and want me to die a slow painful death." you dramatically rambled, making your best friend rub her temple in faux annoyance as she groaned at your stupidity.
"when i see you tomorrow, i'm gonna slap you. goodnight, hoe." with that, she hung up.
you closed the lid of your laptop and placed it on charge, stretching before standing up to go pick up your phone. you noticed the small cracks on your screen as you walked back to your bed.
you unlocked your phone, noticing how the lads server kicked you out. you exited the app, clicking on it again as you were met with caleb's face.
so l-long for longe-ge-... before fa-fa...dust
so long for-for-.... fading-fa..-dus..
so-so...lo...ng-..fading...
your eyebrows furrowed as you watched the app glitch horribly, the audio was choppy and produced crackling noises. the graphics were disoriented and there was a pop-up notification saying you needed to upgrade your memory.
you could feel your irritation rise once again, getting tired of this shit as you decided to deal with it tomorrow or something. however, every time you tried to exit the app, it wouldn't let you.
your phone literally froze.
"great. just fucking great." you sarcastically murmured.
not only did you not get the limited cards you wanted, you were broke (in the real world and in lads), you're screwed for your morning classes and your phone is currently on its last breath.
also, you were hungry as fuck right now, craving for some five guys.
"fuck this." you sighed in defeat, settling your phone next to you before laying down to sleep. you figured that eventually your phone would turn off once the battery died, so until then you just turned to the other side and ignored the device.
soon enough, fatigue took over your body as you were slipping away into a deep slumber.
unaware, your phone screen turned off momentarily, before flickering on once again as the screen crackled and glitched before stopping.
data retrieval complete, memory upgrade...
successful.
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
you stirred in your sleep, eyebrows pinched together as you felt a cold breeze run across the bare skin of your thighs and arms.
nonetheless, you don't remember leaving your window open, it was the middle of february. you groaned, eyes still shut tight as your hand reached down, trying to locate your blanket.
"comfortable, sweetie?" you heard an oddly familiar, deep voice suddenly speak.
did someone break into your house? and why the hell did your mattress feel so hard and cold?
your eyes shot open, adjusting your blurry vision as you realized you were not in your bedroom. you were laying on the cold, dirt ground and it made you panic.
you helplessly sat up and noticed the long pair of legs in front of your body, making you look up as you saw the towering figure of a man. the night sky was dark, making it hard for you to make out his face.
"who are you? and what the hell am i doing out here?" you asked, but your voice barely came out as a whisper.
a deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, before he bent down to come eye-level with you. as soon as you met the bright, ruby red orbs of his foxy eyes; your jaw dropped in horror.
no. fucking. way.
"shouldn't i be the one asking you those questions, sweetie?" sylus smirked, head tilting as he keenly watched your facial expressions.
"you're not real. i'm dreaming, yeah, just a dream that feels too real." you blurt out, a breathy laugh scratching your dry throat, trying to calm yourself from freaking out as your heart leaped to your chest when he directly looked at you.
"a dream, you say? hmph, you're a strange one." he shook his head before grabbing your wrist, bringing your palm to his lips. the warmth of his rough hands, which were definitely double the size of yours, made you shiver due to the contrast of your cold ones. he bit the side of your palm before gently sucking on it, making you jolt from the sudden sensation.
sylus watched you with pure amusement glinting in his eyes.
"you're like a scared little kitten, so expressive." sylus commented, making you swallow harshly.
well, this definitely was not a dream, thanks to sylus's help for that confirmation.
but the question was.... how the hell did you end up here?
suddenly, there was rustling in the distance, making his eyes twitch as he became alert. sylus slightly shifted closer to you, now scanning the area for the intruder.
"miss bodyguard?" with a dramatic gasp, you heard rushed footsteps approach you. it was hard to miss the hues of indigo, pinks and blues in his eyes along with the striking dusky purple hair that was a little more visible thanks to the moonlight.
"r...rafayel?" it felt odd saying his name out loud, it almost made you feel a little schizophrenic.
just a bit.
"duh, who else would it be? what are you doing here in the N-109 zone at this hour. also, the hell are you wearing? so not creative or fashionable." rafayel questioned, of course, not forgetting to throw in his snarky little insults along with it.
"what's wrong with what i'm wearing?" you glared at him.
"it's the middle of february and you're dressed like it's a hundred degrees outside." the lemurian smirked down at you.
you cursed at yourself for going to bed in shorts and a thin shirt. well, to be fair, it's a cute snoopy set. also, who in the hell could've predicted this to happen!?
"she wanted to have a little sleepover with the wanderers that lurk around here." the dragon teased, making your face heat up.
"i did not." you mumbled under your breath.
"uh-huh, you're not really in the position to defend that claim." rafayel egged further.
"whatever, what are you doing here? you usually don't go out of your way to come to the N-109 zone." you tried to change the subject, remembering from his anecdotes that he usually has third party people as his "networks" to gain intel.
"just some business you shouldn't sweat your pretty little head over, cutie. but, you know, we should really talk about what your business is with the leader of onychinus." he cocked an eyebrow, his eyes flickering between you and sylus.
"it's nothing, uh, i don't even know him." you chuckled nervously, making sylus look at you with a sharp look.
"is that so, kitten? you wound me. and here i thought we had something more than just... acquaintances. i guess those nights of naughty touches, kisses and naked glances mean nothing to you, right?" sylus shamelessly bullet-pointed, his tone dropping an octave lower as your cheeks grew warm.
on the other hand, rafayel's eyes widened at the revelation.
"you fucked the leader of onychinus?! woah, woah, woah, pause. what about everything that happened between us?? we had sex in my bathtub, the hotel and don't forget-" he was flabbergasted, only to be cut off by sylus.
"you were messing around with this half-baked fish, sweetie? i'm disappointed in your taste. if you planned on two-timing, you could've selected a better opponent for me. this is just... offensive." he snarked, his red eyes beaming with irritation as he looked at rafayel, who's face grew dark from his brash words.
"what did you say to me, you fucking crow? half-baked fish? i'm the god of tides, a majestic lemurian. you dare to speak to me like that?" rafayel's voice became husky, languid footsteps towards the other man.
"h-hey, hey, let's all calm down. there's a very logical and reasonable explanation, i swear." you tried to mediate between them, but it didn't seem like they planned on giving a flying shit about what you had to say any time soon.
"y/n? there you are. i've been blowin' up your phone for hours. thought a wanderer got to you and i got worried about how i'd pay the rent by myself." xavier walked from the shadows, his words laced with a gentle joke as he approached you and the other two men.
holy fuck, this was not good.
"and who are you guys?" the ash-blonde male asked, eyes narrowing before looking down at you.
"xavier." you meeked, not even knowing what to say anymore.
"why are you seeing other guys, y/n? am i not enough? you know i don't like it when you hide things from me. i thought you learned your lesson after i punished you for choosing lumiere over me." xavier now towered over you, his voice laced with envy as you gulped.
fuck, fuck, fuck.
"xavier, i promise i can explain. this is all just a-" you tried to somehow pull an excuse out of your ass, but your brain was fogging up.
"pipsqueak?"
"y/n? what an odd place to be at during such an odd hour, you left your patient copy in my office."
two other figures emerged from the sides, making your eyes close in disbelief, wishing that you could somehow disappear from the face of earth right now.
why the fuck are they all here.
at the same time.
"you've got to be kidding me." you covered your face with the palm of your hands.
"caleb? i thought you were dead." zayne spoke in a monotone, glancing at his childhood friend.
"wow, i missed you too, zayne." caleb rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his words. however, the small spark of tension barely lasted before caleb looked back at you.
"care to explain why you're in such a dangerous zone at this time? you know you can't hide from me, pipsqueak. what connections do you have here? who are you seeing? was locking you up in the attic not enough for you?" caleb lectured, his voice gruff before zayne decided to add on to the fire.
"you're utterly reckless, your heart condition isn't getting any better." zayned pushed the frame of his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
all five on them now circled you, bickering and arguing with each other along with bombarding you with questions. you balled your fists in annoyance and frustration.
"shut up! oh my fucking god, i don't know, okay?! i don't know how i ended up here, so stop asking me. fuckin' hell, i can't even get a moment to breathe or think because all of you little shits won't shut up for a second!" you snapped as you stood up, making all of them look at you with surprised eyes.
you gulped, feeling a little cornered as you have five insanely tall, broad and buff men look down at you; like helpless prey.
caleb was the first person to break the momentary silence, grabbing your arm to pull you towards him.
"let's go home, pipsqueak. i'll cook your favorite tonight since it's valentines day." he smiled, only for your other arm to be tugged backwards as you yelped.
"home? her home is with me, we're roommates. i think you got the wrong person." xavier calmly replied, but his words were laced with venom.
"she's going nowhere with either of you. she's my bodyguard and i need her to come back with me to my studio. y'know, in case some scary wanderers are lurkin' around." rafayel pushed xavier to the side, intertwining his fingers with yours before giving you a charming smile as he attempted to walk off; only to bump into someone.
"i don't think so. she's been out here for so long, i might need to give her an exam to make sure she's okay." zayne cleared his throat, pinching the bridge of his nose.
you felt like you were the rope being tugged in tug-of-war. sylus deeply sighed at the situation and before you knew it; in one smooth swoop you were now in the strong arms of the leader of onychinus.
"what fools. she's in the N-109 zone for a reason. for me, of course. come on, sweetie, you must be freezing. let's go inside." sylus look down at you with a gentle smile playing on his lips.
you groaned, squirming out of his hold as sylus let you, watching you get back on your feet.
"this is ridiculous! you all are acting like a bunch of kids, fighting over me like i'm some kind of toy. none of you own me!" you stood your ground.
"fine, then why don't you choose?" sylus scoffed, crossing his arms. you grew quiet, looking at each of them before averting your gaze to the ground.
"i... i can't." you whispered.
"you can't? or you don't want to?" xavier snickered.
"you're the one who's been toying with us. we deserve an explanation, no?" rafayel grinned.
"explanations are too time-consuming, actions speak louder than words. so, how are you gonna fix it, y/n?" hazel eyes peered at you with intensity through the glass lenses.
oh, you're so fucked.
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
everything happened so fast, you didn't know who swiped your panties off or unclasped your bra.
you felt betrayed at how they evilly plotted against you, telepathically agreeing to punish you for your unfaithfulness. what happened to hating each other? so, here you were now, splayed on the soft mattress in sylus's room; like art on a display.
they drank in the sight of you, perky tits spilled out as the smooth glaze of your skin glimmered under the dim lighting of the room. their eyes were full of hunger, eye-fucking you as you grew shy under their intense gazes.
"s-stop staring at me like that." you whined, looking away as your face reddened at the attention.
you felt someone stroking your thighs, making you shudder as you looked in front of you, seeing caleb gripping the supple fat of your plush thighs.
"never knew you were such a dirty little slut, princess. all these years of knowing you... and to think you were capable of this? how naughty." caleb smirked, prying your thighs open as you gasped.
but, your lips would soon be sealed with zaynes as he kissed you roughly. his pillow-soft lips molded with yours, the smacking sound of saliva filled the room. a big, veiny hand came up to cup your cheek gently as he slid his tongue inside your mouth, licking the wet muscle before sucking it.
caleb used his thumb to spread your soaked folds apart, watching the lewd string of your arousal connect them both. your clit was puffy from being neglected, a sheen of wetness covering your cunt; making his mouth salivate. he leaned down, mouth hovering above your pussy.
"fuckin' beautiful." caleb swore under his breath, the warm air fanning above your aching cunt, giving you goosebumps. you moaned into zayne's mouth, feeling caleb's warm and wet tongue lick a fat stripe up your cunt.
"hope you didn't forget about us, cutie." rafayel pouted, licking at your nipple before wrapping his lips on the swollen pebble. sylus soon followed his footsteps, greedily kneading at your other tit before leaning down and pressing open-mouthed kisses on the soft mound.
meanwhile, xavier's lips were buried in your neck as he punished you with licks and bites on the expanse of your unmarked flesh.
"ngh~ xavier!" you whimpered against zayne's lips, the doctor now nibbling on your bottom lip.
he licked the side of your neck before softly clamping his teeth down, suckling and leaving a purplish bruise. as a soothing apology, xavier kitten-licked the fresh mark before moving down to your collarbone with wet kisses.
caleb continued to lap at your wet cunt, his saliva mixed with your juices dripped down his chin. the tip of his tongue circled your clit before suckling on it, making your legs tremble as a moan ripped out of your throat as you tried to close your legs.
"f-fuck.. hnghh.." you cried out, feeling him plant his palms on your inner thighs, forcing you to keep them open. caleb peered up at you from between your thighs, amethyst eyes glaring at you as his lips were glossy.
"don't interrupt me when i'm eating." he huskily spoke before slapping your dripping pussy, producing a wet 'pap!' noise. you yelped because of your increased sensitivity, not having enough time to recover before he dove back in.
with one last wet smooch, zayne released your lips before crawling down right next to his childhood friend. they exchanged a quick look, a mischievous smirk dancing on the colonel's lips.
"oh? was my tongue not enough for you, princess?" he lowly spoke, pinching your inner thigh as you bit your bottom lips.
"ahh... need z-zayne to help... please?" you begged, making him scoff. zayne couldn't help but grin with pride, your words stroking his ego a little.
"you heard her, move." zayne pushed caleb a little to squeeze himself between your legs, taking off his glasses before throwing them to the side. caleb, utterly betrayed, seethed with jealousy.
"so that's how you wanna play? fine." caleb accepted it as a challenge, but of course, he won't let neither of you get the last word.
zayne ignored his little childish outburst, digging in as his scarred hands rested on your lower stomach before his fingers stroked the expanse of it, gently moving to the side to hold your hips; caressing your smooth skin while tracing the faint stretch marks decorating it.
your puffy clit peaked out of your wet slit, making zayne lean down to press a wet smooch on it. you shuddered, mouth gaping open as your breathing quickened. zayne dragged his tongue up your sopping folds slow and languidly, the tip of his tongue digging into your wet pussy. the difference in how zayne and caleb ate you out was clear. caleb liked to eat your honeyed cunt like a starved dog, as if it was his last meal; unlike zayne, who liked to take his time and savor the taste of your sweet cunt.
"mhmmm.... zaynee~" you slurred his name, drunk in pleasure as he took his time to lap at your pussy, suckling and nibbling on your clit. amethyst eyes bore into the back of zayne's head, fuming with anger and envy.
caleb's fingers dug into your thighs, making you wince in pain but soon it deliciously simmered into the pleasure you were getting from zayne's tongue. the colonel snickered, watching how slick your pussy was from saliva and your juices, deciding to toy with you as revenge.
you felt the pads of caleb's middle and ring finger brush against your hole, probing the tight opening. you groan, feeling him push in both fingers at once.
"c-caleb!" you stuttered out, feeling him scissor his fingers in and out of your tight hole; the thickness and length of his digits rubbing you in all the right places.
suddenly, xavier roughly grabbed your jaw, squishing your chubby cheeks in his hands; forcing you to look at him. the expression on his face was dark, eyes clouded with lust and possessiveness.
"you seem to be enjoying yourself, dirty girl. you like having four other guys touch you, hm? this mouth is fucking filthy, maybe i should clean it, yeah?" he smirked, blue eyes sharply peering down at you.
"x-xav.." you were cut off by his grip tightening just a little more, making you wince.
"shhh... not another word, my dumb little girl. now i just wanna hear you gagging on my cock, 'kay?" xavier unbuckled his belt before unzipping his pants. he pulled the waistband of his boxers down, making his hard cock spring against his abs, your eyes widening at the sight.
his dick didn't have a lot of girth, but fuck it was long. xavier tapped the blush pink tip of his leaky cock on your lips, spreading his precum all over them like it was your own personal gloss. his thumb rested on your chin before pulling it down, forcing your mouth to open as he slid his cock in; the ash-blonde male let out a shaky sigh.
both sylus and rafayel continued to paw at your tits, biting and sucking on your nipples. with a lewd 'pop!', they released your swollen bud, eyeing their shared masterpiece as your tits were littered with hickies and trails of saliva.
"why don't you return the favor, sweetie? these cute little hands of yours seem empty." sylus gives you a toothy grin, bringing your hand to the tent forming on his pants, making you palm him through them. a deep groan escaped his lips as your hand stroked him through the rough fabric of his leather pants.
rafayel now sat on his knees by your other side, grabbing your wrist before bringing it up to his lips. he kissed the soft, warm flesh of your wrist; inhaling the scent of your skin as he let out a moan.
"you smell so fucking good. god, it's driving me insane." he breathed out, licking your pulse point before gently biting down on it. rafayel continued to sniff and kiss your wrist, using his other free hand to undo his pants and pull his aching cock out; stroking it as it throbbed in his palms. he teased his slit, spreading the sticky precum all over the tip.
your eager hands fumbled with sylus's belt as you tried to undo it, a little difficult because your mouth was still full of xavier's cock and forced you to maintain eye contact with him; as if looking at anyone else in this room would make his existence perish. but, sylus decided to be kind enough and help you because who is he to deny you?
you dug your hand inside his boxers, eyes widening as you realized that you couldn't even fully grasp his dick. he was fucking hung, thick and long, not lacking in any area. a guttural moan escaped his lips, feeling your soft fingers caressing his balls.
you took out his cock from the confinement of his boxers, stroking the shaft of it as your fingers teased the throbbing vein that ran on the underside curve of his dick. sylus threw his head back in pleasure, a soft whimper heard as his chest heaved.
"feels so fuckin' good, sweetie." he praised, your hand still lazily moving up and down his thick meat.
you felt the tip of zayne's nose nudging your clit, providing more stimulation as he continued his assault on your sopping wet cunt; his tongue flicking at a leisurely pace between your folds. caleb matched the rhythm of zayne's tongue, finger-fucking you with deep and hard strokes.
your moans were muffled by xavier's cock as he drove his hips into your mouth; your cheeks hollowing as you tried to not graze the skin of his dick with your teeth. you could hear the soft grunts and whimpers falling from his lips, eyes closed in bliss as he still had your cheeks firmly squished between his fingers.
"fuck yeah... you were made for this, takin' my cock so well." xavier breathed out, slender fingers tangling in your hair as he pulled your head closer.
you could feel the pressure of zaynes tongue slurping your clit along with caleb's fingers abusing your cervix collide. the familiar knot began to settle in your lower stomach, making your thighs tremble as your eyes screwed shut, toes curling in pleasure.
caleb could feel your walls contracting, you were definitely close and as much as he would love to see you cream all over his fingers; you've been cruelly unfair to him.
xavier lazily opened his eyes, cerulean orbs looking down at you half-lidded. he scoffed, watching your face flush as saliva trickled down the corner of your mouth. you opened your eyes briefly, he watched as they rolled back from the pleasure you were recieving from your childhood friends.
he pulled his cock out of your mouth, glaring down at you.
"nghhh~ p-please..!" you mumbled against his tip, crying out in pleasure as you tried to kick your leg forward to get away from the two men ravaging your pussy. however, both caleb and zayne pinned your legs down.
"focus on me." xavier scowled, and in one swift and hard thrust, his cock slid down your throat as far as you could take him. your eyes blew wide open, as you gagged on his dick. he was being nice earlier, but now you really pissed him off.
you had the nerve to think about those two when he was being kind enough to rinse that dirty mouth of yours with his cock?
"fuckin' ungrateful brat, ignoring me when i'm stuffing this filthy mouth full of my dick." he panted, fucking your face as tears streamed down your face and drool dripped down your chin.
zayne and caleb continued their combined attack, making you scream as your felt zayne sucking on your clit harder while caleb's fingers continued to rub against your walls at a faster pace.
suddenly, all sensation was lost as caleb pulled out his fingers while simultaneously grabbing onto the back of zayne's head with his free hand; yanking his hair back to unlatch his mouth from your weeping cunt. your eyes widened as tears streamed down your face, your hole pulsating at the feeling of nothing.
"only good girls get to cum." caleb darkly chuckled, zayne wincing in slight pain as he swatted the hand that yanked his hair.
"do that again and i'll fucking kill you." zayne murmured, making caleb roll his eyes.
"mmphh...!" your cries were muffled as xavier continued to use your throat as his personal fuckhole. he continued to shove his dick deeper, a small bulge forming on your throat as he pressed against it.
"there we go." xavier grinned sadistically, continuing to chase his high.
"h-hahhh... fuck, gonna cum." he panted, face flushing as he threw his head back, driving his hips forward. you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth, before he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you towards his lower stomach; shoving his cock deep in your throat one last time as your nose was buried in his soft pubes.
"shit.. shit- hnghh... take it- fuck, take it all." xavier moaned, his thick cum painting your throat as he came so much. your mouth became overloaded with his cum, leaking through the corner of your lips as you tried to swallow as much as you could. he pulled out, watching your gasp for air as you coughed.
"what do you say, slut?" he darkly asked.
"t-thank you." you breathed out, voice croaking.
"good girl." xavier smiled wickedly, stroking your bottom lip with his thumb, your tongue peeking out to lick it.
with the intense throat-fucking session with xavier and the cruel denial of your orgasm, you forgot about sylus who was still painfully hard in your hand.
"come on, sweetie, i know you could do better. want some help? yes, no, maybe so?" sylus whispered huskily, leaning down to bite your ear before kissing your temple.
"s-sorry.." you sniffled, still extremely sensitive.
"poor baby, don't cry. i'll help you." he cooed, grabbing your hand before spitting on it. the warm feeling of his spit made you shiver, he brought your hand to his cock; guiding you as you used your spit coated hand to grab his dick again.
this time, his hand firmly stayed on yours, tightening the grip. the silver haired male moaned, moving your joined hands up and down his throbbing cock; fucking your wet fist.
"hnghh... yeah, f-fuck..." sylus panted, thrusting his hips into the makeshift hole he made using your hand. his foxy eyes narrowed, bright ruby orbs rolling back as he rasped out swears from the absolute pleasure he was feeling.
rafayel hovered above your naked torso, his pretty cock resting on the valley between your tits. he grabbed his dick, giving it a few strokes, whimpering at his own touch before looking down at you.
"you're so beautiful." the lemurian whispered through labored breaths, face flushed as his mixed indigo eyes peeked at you through a half-lidded lust-filled stare.
rafayel swallowed harshly, guiding the tip of his leaky cock to your nipple; circling the hard bud as his precum coated it. your breath hitched, watching him use his hard cock to paint streaks of his precum all over the expanse of your hickey-littered chest.
he then spat on his hand, rubbing his spit all over his dick to lubricate it before settling it between your soft tits. using both of his hands, he squished your tits together to squeeze his warm cock between them. the whimper leaving his mouth was almost embarrassing from how loud and needy it was.
without a second more of hesitation, rafayel began to rut his hips forward, thrusting between your tits. he stroked your nipples before using his thumb and index finger, pinching the swollen buds and rolling them between his fingers.
"ahhh~ rafayel! f-feels good...!" you moaned, watching the blush pink tip of his cock peek through your cleavage every time he motioned his hips forward.
"hnghh... love your tits so much, cutie. so soft... so tasty and cute." he breathes out a small chuckled, eyebrows pinched in pleasure as he continued to thrust his cock between your boobs. his precum coated the valley of your tits, making it easier for him to slide between them.
while he continued his ministrations of using your titties to fuck himself, you focused on making sylus cum. you increased the pace of your hands, feeling his hand tightening the grip on yours, the vein on his cock pulsating as frequent deep whimpers left his lips. your thumb caught his slit, teasing it as he could feel his balls tighten.
"hmm... gonna make me cum, kitten." he groans, continuing to pump his cock using your hand until you felt the warm, thick wads of his cum dribble down your fingers. his hands slightly trembled, chest heaving as he tried to compose himself.
"fuck, that was... so hot." sylus chuckled, releasing your hand as he watched you bring your cum covered fingers to your mouth; licking his release as you hummed in approval.
he could feel himself get instantly hard again from such an erotic sight.
"you're mean, darling." he shook his head, making you grin.
you broke away your gaze from sylus, watching rafayel fall apart as he desperately groped your tits.
"h-hahhh... need y..-your help, cutie! please?" he pathetically begged, swallowing harshly as his hips stuttered. rafayel grabbed your wrist once more, smelling your scent and licking your flesh; groaning at how intoxicated you made him feel. the tip of his tongue traced your fingers before encasing them with his soft lips, sucking and biting on your digits; indigo eyes looking at you with a pleading look.
you smirked, knowing that it'd be easy to tease him. you were basically at all of their mercy, but knowing you still had just a little bit of power against him at least; it made your heart beat in your pussy.
"you poor thing, need my help?" you pouted, faux sympathy written all over your face. the others watched in amusement and rafayel's horny-fucked brain couldn't even have the dignity to feel embarrassed.
"p-please... promise i'll be good, so good." he breathed out and you smiled in satisfaction, sitting up before pushing him back. rafayel now sat on the mattress, hungry eyes watching you sit back on your knees.
you leaned down, squishing his cock between your tits before sliding them up and down. rafayel's eyes screwed shut in pleasure, countless of goans and whimpers slipping out of his tongue; showering you endlessly with praise.
"y-yeah cutie, just like that... nghhh~ gonna make me cum." rafayel shamelessly moaned, mouth gape open as his breathing was uneven. you stuck your tongue out, lapping at his tip before wrapping your lips around it; suckling on it as if it was a lollipop.
you rubbed your tits together on his shaft, using your mouth to suck the rest. your drool trickled down from his swollen tip to the squishy tight slit created by your tits; making his cock slide with ease. the sounds produced was obscene, shlick shlick shlick. rafayel could feel his body tremble in pleasure, stroking your hair as his balls twitched.
"gonna cum! h-hahhh... p-please, cutie!" his lips were swollen from how much he bit them. soon enough, his hot cum was painting your tits, dripping down your nipples as his cock throbbed.
"fuck.." rafayel sighed, stroking your cheek as he glanced at what he did.
mentally clicking a picture to remember for the rest of his life when he fucks his fist to the thought of you.
"better?" you innocently batted your eyelashes, looking up at him with a dazed expression.
"you little minx." his breath hitched as you turned your face to the side, catching his thumb between your lips to give it a small suck before biting it playfully.
"you seem to be enjoying yourself a little too much, brat." you heard a daring voice break the moment, looking up to see a mean caleb glowering down at you.
you swallowed harshly, looking at rafayel for some help, but the cheeky lemurian only grinned at you; eyes twinkling with trouble as he moved away.
"you like being used like this, don't you? have you forgotten who's in control here?" now, xavier came into view as he scoffed, taking in your pitiful state.
"i think it's time that you learn your place." caleb suddenly pushed you towards the ash-blonde haired male, making you gasp as you were now sitting on his waist; hands pressed against his bare chest. you could feel the curve of xavier's hard cock press against your ass, making you unknowingly grind against the throbbing length of it to seek for some friction.
"tch, look at you. you're like a fuckin' bitch in heat." xavier snickers, holding down your hips with a bruising grip, making you wince. you felt the tip of his dick slip between your wet folds, his hands maneuvering your hips to help you glide on him. a breathy whimper leaves your lips, feeling his sticky tip caress your achy clit.
you hear the clinking sound of caleb's belt being undone and in what felt like mere seconds; you could feel his warm body heat radiating behind you. his lips grazed your nape, the tip of his nose gliding on your skin. he left wet kisses all over your neck and shoulder, trailing down the deep passage of your spine; making you arch forwards from your increased sensitivity.
xavier on the other hand fondled your tits, pinching and twisting your nipples. his fingers moved down, brushing against your hips. suddenly, you felt his tip prodding your tight hole, making you gulp.
they were all so fucking big and thick, you were wondering how you'd take them all. god, you couldn't even use process of elimination to figure out who'd be less painful to take in.
however, all that thinking flew straight out of your ears as xavier planted his feet on the mattress; harshly thrusting upwards into you. a croaky moan ripped out of your throat, your head lolling back to caleb's chest as you breathed heavy.
although xavier wasn't that thick, he was long as fuck; he couldn't even bottom out fully inside your cunt. you could feel his tip kissing your cervix. while caleb continued to place bite marks and lick at his work, xavier paid no mind to his counterpart; fucking you at a brutal pace.
"hnghh~ a-aahh... xav! w-wait!" you tried to slow him down, but that only made him go faster. he grabbed your hands which were resting on his lower stomach, pulling you forwards as you fell on his chest; away from caleb's touch.
the colonel scowled at the loss of your skin, glaring at the ash-blonde male in front of him. xavier didn't care, his hand finding purchase to the supple fatty flesh on your ass, spanking you hard as you yelped in pain and pleasure. your eyes squeezed shut, trying to form coherent words.
"you know i hate it when you don't look at me while i'm fucking you. open your eyes, y/n." he tapped your face, forcing you to look down at him. you bit your lips, trying to prevent another moan from flying out of your mouth, feeling xavier's cock rub your wet velvety walls just right.
his tip continued to bruise your cervix, his thrusts were deep and hard as he made sure you felt every inch of him in you. a ring of cream began to form at the base of his shaft, your juices dripping down to coat his heavy balls as you felt your thighs burning.
"hope you didn't forget about me, princess." caleb whispered, hovering behind you as you felt him grope your ass cheek. your eyes widened as you felt him spread them, his index finger gently grazing your other untouched tight hole.
"nghh.. wait, caleb! h-hahhh, never did it there before." you confessed, making him chuckle.
"well then, i'm glad to be your first here. don't worry, i'll make sure you're ready for me." caleb's words did seem genuine but rather because of the fact that he was about to touch you and feel you somewhere no one ever has.
you nodded at his words, too fucked out to even care about anything else. you were more focused on cumming, your cunt puffy and weeping from being neglected the last time your orgasm was denied; thanks to caleb.
so, you definitely didn't wanna get on his bad side again.
caleb spat on his fingers, bring it down to your ass before spreading the sticky spit on your hole. you soon felt his wet digit push through the tight ring of muscle, making you wince in pain as you breathed heavily.
"f-fuck... hurts.." you whined, but it would soon dissipate as xavier continued to drill into your pussy, distracting you from the pain of having caleb's finger in your ass.
it took some time but eventually the colonel was able to finger-fuck your ass with two of his fingers, meanwhile, xavier thrusted up into your leaky pussy that sheathed his throbbing cock. the ash-blonde haired male rubbed your clit to provide some more stimulation, your body trembling once you felt caleb withdrawing his fingers from inside you.
caleb sat on his knees, spreading your ass once more before leaning in, the tip of his tongue dragging from where you and xavier were connected; all the way up to your ass hole.
"ah! caleb!" you cried out, feeling him land a glob of spit on the tight hole before pulling away. caleb grabbed the base of his cock, his tip was a reddish-purple; angrily weeping precum as he stroked himself a few times. you could hear him groan behind you before feeling his wet tip squish against your hole.
"c'mere." caleb commanded, a hand coming down to gently grab your jaw, pulling you back to him. he tilts your head up, making you look into his eyes; leaning down to press his lips on yours in a searing kiss.
that's when you felt the burning stretch of his fat tip pushing past the tight ring of muscle in your ass, a pained cry leaving your lips, only to be muffled as he swallowed it; not letting go of your lips. tears pricked your eyes, feeling him slowly feed his cock into your tight ass, inch by inch.
the kiss with caleb was rough and messy, full of tongue and spit. the wet smacking sound of his lips clashing with yours as he drinks in your moans was so erotic. as his cock was now thrusted deep in your ass, he was kind enough to let you adjust to his size. his hand still firmly grabbing your jaw in place to not break away from the kiss while the other played with your tits.
meanwhile, xavier continued to give you nice slow and soft thrusts in your cunt, paying close attention to stimulate your clit. you were so full of both of their cocks, your mind was blank.
all you thought of was dick, dick, dick.
it was embarrassing and greedy, how full they made you feel, how good the burn felt as they both stretched out your holes.
it was definitely a pornographic sight.
as you grew used to having both of them inside you, caleb was the first to quicken his pace, pistoning his hips into you as his cock began to rub your walls. following in suit, xavier tried to match his rhythm, fucking your cunt with more rigor. your mouth gaped wide open, unable to respond to caleb's kiss anymore as you were too cock drunk.
"a-a..ahh! nghh~ feels so good!" you cried out in pleasure, feeling them both rub against the thin barrier that separated the two. you could feel your lower stomach churn in pleasure, your eyes rolling back as you began to drool from the corner of your mouth.
"what a dumb little slut, fucked your brains out already?" you heard xavier darkly chuckle, pinching your clit as you yelped at the sudden sharp sensation.
"p-please... wanna cum so bad! x..-xav.." your throat was parched as you tried to control your breathing, your lower stomach tightening as you could feel the familiar build-up of your orgasm.
"tch, you're moaning his name when i'm stuffing you full of my dick? where are your manners, pipsqueak?" caleb's tone was gravely, glaring at you with a look that could only make your knees grow weak, his grip on your jaw tightening just a little to remind you he was still here; balls deep in you.
"s-sor.. hgnhh.. sorry! please, c..caleb.." you stammered out, feeling the alternating push and withdraw of their cocks syncing together; turning your brain into mush.
displeased with your switch up, xavier yanked you forwards by your arm, squishing your cheeks together.
"you deceitful vixen, running to him when you don't get what you want? i'm the one taking care of this slutty pussy and you have the nerve to beg him? the fuck is wrong with you." xavier seethed with anger, his hips bucking into yours with more intensity; making you wail out in pleasure.
"i'm sor-" you tried to helplessy apologize again, only to be pulled back by caleb; the start of a tug-of-war as if you were a toy.
"don't fucking apologize to him, princess. you're mine, so when i say that you can cum, then you cum." caleb whispered, making you shiver as you sniffled out a cry.
"please.. fuck, please- i can't! t..too much.." you whimpered, making them both scoff.
"you can take it." both caleb and xavier sneered, making you whine.
"ungrateful brat, wanting us both and now you're saying it's too much?" xavier slapped your clit, making you jolt. you felt caleb bite down on your shoulder, the cold metal of his dog tag pressed against your warm, flushed skin.
you felt them twitch inside you, throbbing thick cocks rubbing against your insides. caleb and xavier continued to slide in and out of you, making your body grow hot.
"fuck, fuck, please! s-so close..!" you breathed out, feeling xavier's thrusts grow sloppy as with one final hard thrust; he emptied his balls inside you. his thick, warm cum filled your cunt as you quivered, his hips still rolling back in you.
your head was spinning, both of their scents were intoxicating. their hands were groping, slapping and stroking every bit of skin exposed to their lustful eyes. both caleb and xavier's thrusts held no mercy, battering your cunt and ass as your thighs felt like jelly. you squealed, feeling your walls tightening as you desperately squirmed, trying to lift yourself off and escape.
"where are you going? don't run away, i'm not done yet." caleb yanked you back to him. caleb's grunts and groans got louder by your ear, his arm wrapping around your stomach to hold you down in place; his cock fully in your ass as he shot fat wads of his sticky cum.
before you could process anything, they sadistically exchanged a cruel smirk, pulling out of you as your holes gushed out an obscene amount of their mixed cum.
"n-no! no! hnghh.. w-why.." you sobbed at the loss of contact, the fullness of their cocks gone as your orgasm was destroyed for the second time.
"since we weren't enough, why don't you go ask the others." caleb pushed you to the side, making you collapse on the mattress as tears ran down your cheek.
you looked up and noticed sylus and rafayel looking down at you, an unwavering glint pinned on your ruined form as they waited for your next move. it was humiliating, how you were begging them to let you cum; but it was too much.
you were going insane, needing some relief.
you weakly crawled to sylus and rafayel, sniffling as your body began to shake. your thighs were dripping with xavier and caleb's cum, your messy holes pulsing and aching.
"sy.. raf.. please, make me cum. i-i... i promise i'll be a good girl." you desperately pleaded, fat teardrops running down your flushed cheeks; making them both groan as your pathetic state only made their cocks harden.
"poor little kitten, they were so mean to you, weren't they?" sylus cooed as he wiped your tears away, tone honeyed with gentleness but with an undertone of mischief.
you nodded helplessly, leaning into his touch as you nuzzled your cheeks into his palm. you kissed the inside of his hand, licking the warm and rough skin.
just like a kitten.
sylus grinned at your antics, amused at how compliant you were. however, he wasn't that mean; he'd humor you.
"need us to make her feel better, cutie?" rafayel teasingly spoke, long fingers running across your slit as you whimpered; the tip of his digits circling your clit.
"mmphh, y-yes... please.." you bit down on your lip, tasting the metallic taste of blood.
"alright, sweetie. we'll help you." sylus chortled, leaning against the headboard. he grabbed your hips, spinning you around in one fluid motion, your back now facing him. he then lifted you up before placing you on his waist, as if you weighed nothing.
you yelped as sylus hooked his beefy arms under your thighs, pulling them up to your head; putting you in a mean full nelson. the sudden pressure and stretch made your cunt gush out more of the cum that was fucked into you earlier, soaked pussy lips spread apart as you were now exposed and on display in a very vulnerable position.
"s-sylus!" you shyly meeked, making him hum.
"what? don't be selfish, sweetie. you know the fish is an artist, let him see this masterpiece." sylus bit your earlobe.
rafayel settled between sylus's legs, now in front of you as he shamelessly stared at your messy folds. he salivated as it took everything in him to not just lean down and makeout with your tempting cunt.
"stop lookin'." you whined, feeling how intense his gaze was. however, rafayel just gave you a breathy chuckle.
"why not? she's sooooo pretty." he licked his lips, flashing you a boyish grin, making your heart leap into your throat.
the lemurian lowered his head, pressing gentle kisses on your soft stomach, dragging his lips up your navel until he reached your tits. he sighed in bliss, smoothering his face between your boobs as he kissed and licked the mounds of flesh.
his dick rested on top of your pussy, sticky tip parting your folds as he rutted his hips; sliding the length of his cock against your slick covered cunt. his tip repeatedly nudged your clit, rubbing it as you moaned in bliss from the heavenly contact.
your hand found purchase in his dusky, purple hair; carding your fingers through his soft locks. you tugged on his hair, making him moan as the vibration rumbling from his lips were felt on your nipple as he sucked; making you choke out a moan.
the silver haired male kissed your temple, smiling.
"come on, sweetie, need you to hold your legs up for me so i can take care of you." his voice was groggy, releasing your legs before grabbing your hands to help you lift them as you obeyed.
"there you go, good girl." sylus praised, grabbing the base of his cock, swiping it a few times between your messy folds, nudging his tip on your hole. you moaned at the feel of his cock deliciously rubbing against your aching pussy.
"p-please... nghh- no more teasing." you were breathless, feeling rafayel once again capture your nipple in his mouth, suckling as if his purpose in life was to worship your tits.
"if you say so, sweetie." sylus compliantly shoved his inches in you, feeding your greedy hole his hard dick. your jaw dropped, eyes rolling back as his fat girth stretched your cunt; sliding in with ease because of your arousal along with xavier and caleb's shared cum.
rafayel watched your hole eagerly swallow up sylus's cock, gulping at the sight as his dick was painfully hard; globs of precum dripping onto your clit.
"so tight even after all that? how cute." sylus lets out a huff, slowly moving his hips upwards to give you some slow and deep strokes; tip squishing against your cervix.
"h-hnghh... fuck... feels so good, sy." you moaned, turning your head to the side to capture his lips in a sweet kiss. he happily accepted, sucking on your bottom lip before swiping his tongue against it for permission to explore your mouth.
his hands firmly grabbed your hips before planting his feet on the mattress, grounding both himself and you before pounding upwards into your dripping cunt. your mouth flew open from his sudden shift in pace, and he took that chance to shove his tongue in your mouth; exploring every cavern and crevice. both of your tongues mingled and tangled, sucking and licking as drool trickled down your chin.
"fuck, cutie... you look so hot like this; it's tempting. i can't let the crow have all the fun now, can i?" rafayel's fingers stroked your thigh, leaning down to kiss your plush thighs, gently biting the soft skin.
"ahhh... raf.." you whimpered, biting your lip as you feel his tip poke your ass hole. you released one of your legs, pressing your foot on his chest to stop him.
"hm?" the lemurian tilts his head in confusion at your sudden action, stopping his advances.
"n-not there... need you and sy at the same time.." you licked your dry lips, words barely coming out as a whisper. rafayel's eyes widened at your request, sylus's ruby orbs mirroring the same bewilderment.
"naughty girl, you want us both in this sweet cunt of yours? you think you can handle it?" sylus teased, a cocky smirk painted on his lips.
you nodded frantically, your foot running down rafayel's chest as you looked up at him with a cheeky smile; eyes barely open as you gazed at him with a dazed look.
"i can handle it, p-promise." you assured, making rafayel grin.
"well you heard her, crow. make some space." he grabbed the base of his shaft, now aligning his cock with your hole that was already occupied with sylus's thick cock. the silver haired male scoffed, rolling his eyes before momentarily stopping his thrusts; letting rafayel ease into you.
a screamish-moan ripped out of your throat, your walls clamping instinctively on both of their cocks; both men grunting in response as the space became tighter. your eyes swelled with tears, the salty warm fluid streaming down your cheeks as you tried to adjust to the painful stretch of having two giant cocks lodged in your cunt at the same time.
"shh... there, there, pretty girl. it's okay." rafayel tried to console you, his words barely making it to a full sentence before his voice betrayed him; a strangled whimper slipping off his tongue.
"i gotcha, sweetie." sylus mumbled against the skin of your nape, his hand snaking around your waist, fingers finding your clit as he began to rub soothing circles on the bundle of nerves to distract you.
the both of them allowed you to adjust to their cocks, providing additional stimulation to help you relax so that your walls aren't as tense. rafayel's teeth grazed your nipples, teasing and flicking the pebbled buds while sylus's fingers worked their magic to affectionately pinch and stroke your clit.
"nghh~ feels good... hnnghh- need more." you whined, moving your hips on your own accord, wincing as you could feel both of their dicks rubbing against your velvety wet walls.
"ya sure you're ready, cutie? we have all night." rafayel let out a shaky laugh, half-joking.
"moveee." you bucked your hips, making sylus chuckle.
"someone's impatient, not that i mind." with that being said, sylus once again began to slowly thrust into your pussy. he grunted, feeling his cock graze against rafayel's, the sensation feeling a little weird but he ignored that fact.
rafayel moaned at the sudden friction, his hand wrapping around your calf to push it by your head; mirroring your other leg which you still held up obediently. rafayel leaned closer, pressing against you before latching his lips onto your; kissing you senselessly.
you moaned into his mouth, feeling the both of them pistoning into your tight, dripping hole. rafayel hissed as he felt your fingers tug his hair, angling your jaw to deepend the kiss.
the room was full of wet skin slapping followed by the lewd sound of your pussy gushing out your juices; coating their cocks in your arousal as it dribbled down to their balls. rafayel's lips continued to suck and kiss at your swollen and bitten once; his tongue suckling with yours before pulling away as a string of saliva connected you two.
he pushed himself off of you, bringing the leg he held for you towards him. he kissed your ankle, running the tip of his tongue down to your calf before kitten-biting the flesh of it.
"mmphh... you taste so fucking sweet." rafayel swore under his breath, thrusting his cock deeper into your weeping hole. sylus followed in suit, both of their tips bruising your cervix.
"shit... you're taking us both so well, sweetie." sylus praised, now matching the movement of his fingers that were once leisurely rubbing your clit to the pace of his thrusts.
in seconds, everything shifted.
their gazes darkened, clouded with need and hunger. you squealed, feeling both sylus and rafayel thrusting in and out of your cunt with no mercy as their movement didn't falter.
not once.
they were so perfectly synced together, as if they were one.
"a-ahhhh~... f-fuck! please, please, please! so close... god! i'm gonna cum!" you choked on your tears as you sobbed, the pleasure you were feeling was intense.
your eyes rolled back, toes curled as you were gasping for air. both men grunted and moaned; focusing on chasing their high.
"how bad you want it, kitten?" sylus groaned, fucking his hips upward as you whimpered.
"so bad, fuck, need it so bad!" you desperately answered, convinced that you wouldn't survive another ruined orgasm.
"yeah? ask nicely, where are your manners, cutie?" rafayel snickered, driving his hips into your; pelvis meeting yours with brutal thrusts that made your body jerk.
"h-hahhhh... oh my god...- please, please, please. let me cum? i promise i'll be good, so fuckin' good. please raf... sy... need it so bad." you threw out every last ounce of dignity within yourself to beg them with your last bit of voice.
both men, clearly satisfied with your answer, feed your cunt with their cocks using an unforgiving pace of thrusts. rafayel's hips were a bit sloppier, but they were fast and needy, like he was scared that you'd disappear. in contrast, sylus's pace was slow but his thrusts were hard and deep; making sure his tip met your cervix with every movement of his hips.
"fuck, fuck, fuck..." the silver haired male let out a guttural moan, eyes screwed shut as he could feel his cock pulsate; vein twitching as blood flowed with adrenaline.
rafayel shamelessly moaned on top of you, panting like a dog as he continued to fuck his dick into your wet hole.
"open your mouth." he demanded and too fucked out to even decipher his intentions, you obeyed. rafayel spat into your mouth, the thick glob of spit coating your tongue before you swallowed it.
"good girl." rafayel grunted, feeling his balls tightening as he was close to cumming as well.
your stomach knotted, the build-up of your orgasm even more stronger as your gummy walls clamped down on their cocks viciously.
"auughh~ i'm cumming! fuck.. hnghh..." you choked out a moan, eyes screwed shut as hot liquid squirted out of your cunt; coating rafayel's lower abdomen. you creamed on their cocks, body twitching as you feel both of them creampie you; shoving their sticky and gooey cum deep into your womb.
your juices and their cum dripped down your thigh, coating sylus's balls as you could hear his breathing become uneven from the aftermath of such intense pleasure. rafayel collapsed on top of you, still mindful to not crush you with his entire weight.
"so tired..." he childishly whined, biting your nipple playfully as you huffed.
"you're heavy, raf, get off." you grumbled, making him pout as he smoothered his face between your boobs once again.
"nah, you're too soft." he argued, making you roll your eyes.
"i feel sticky and gross.." you mumbled, noticing how the room was a bit more quieter. xavier was passed out on the couch and caleb left the room a few minutes ago for whatever reason; zayne watching the whole scene intently from the edge of the bed.
you locked eyes with him, noticing the slight blush on his face. he cleared his throat, looking away.
"perhaps a hot shower might be nice." he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"yeah, it does sound tempting." you hummed.
"need some help, sweetie?" sylus offered, but his tone had a hint of mischief.
"i got it." zayne suddenly spoke up, walking over to where you were sandwhiched between rafayel and sylus. he pushed the groggy lemurian over, making him groan.
"hey! i was comfy." rafayel complained, making the doctor roll his eyes.
"it's my place, surely i know my bathroom better." sylus snickered, making zayne narrow his eyes.
"if i could perfom hundreds of heart surgeries, i'm sure i can figure out how to work your damn shower." zayne snarked back with an equal amount of bite, making the silver haired male smirk.
"touche, she's all yours, doc." sylus chuckled.
zayne sighed, scooping you up in his arms before heading into the bathroom; locking the door behind him.
"you look... fucked." he blurted out, making you laugh at his dry comment.
"wow, thanks, i didn't know." you playfully rolled your eyes, making him crack a small smile.
"that was... intense. after you shower, i could get you some painkillers to help with any soreness. can you stand?" zayne asked with a flicker of concern in his hazel orbs, settling you on your legs and lightly loosening his grip; only for your knees to wobble as you held onto his bicep for support.
"i guess not." he answered his own question, making you chuckle.
"mind helping me out, doc?" you asked, peering up at him with a girly smile. zayne felt his heart skip a beat, heat creeping up to his neck.
it's not like this would be his first time being intimate with you, but you still made him feel incredibly nervous.
"if you insist, then i don't mind." his tone was soft and gentle. you smiled at his agreement, taking off his glasses. you leaned onto the sink for support, watching him undo his tie before unbuttoning his shirt; revealing his chiseled chest.
fuck, his physique was like a greek god.
he undid his belt, zipping down his pants before kicking them off together with his boxers; his cock springing to life as his pinkish tip was a little swollen while dripping with precum. you leaned forwards, now pressed against him as your bare chest rubbed against his.
zayne groaned at the intimate skinship, his cock rubbing against your soft thighs. your hand reached down, grabbing the shaft as you experimentally gave it a few strokes.
"let me take care of you." your voice was a bare whisper, making him shudder. but, to your surprise, he shook his head.
"no, you don't have to do this for me, i'll get myself off or something. just ignore it, okay?" zayne tried to convince you, but it only made you frown.
"but i want to... i've been wanting to feel you the whole night." you pressed soft kisses along his jawline, making him swallow harshly as you saw his adam's apple bob.
"then let me make it up to you since that bastard pulled me away from you. i'll make you feel good, baby." he lifted your hips, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist as his cock was now nestled between your folds.
he walked inside the shower, pulling the glass doors to close it before turning on the water; adjusting the temperature. you cupped his face, pulling him closer to yours to seal his lips with yours.
zayne moaned into your mouth, molding his lips with yours as he softly kneaded your ass. your tongue poked his bottom lip, seeking for entry which he happily granted. you kissed him with a needy vigor, sucking his tongue as you stroked his wet jet black hair.
pulling away breathlessly, zayne looked down at you with swollen lips. he attacked your neck with kisses, making your whimper as you felt his tongue graze your flesh, softly tracing the hickies left on your skin with the tip of his tongue. he moved down to your tits, sucking your nipples as your hand held the back of his head; pushing him closer as you moaned.
"mhmm... feels so good, zayne." you praised, watching him tug your nipple between his teeth before giving it a deserving suck. he soon lets go of your swollen bud, hazel eyes meeting yours.
"i'll be gentle, okay?" he assured, making your chest feel warm and fuzzy as you nodded; wrapping your arms around his neck.
zayne grabbed the base of his cock, tapping your clit a few times, making you jolt. he smirked at how responsive your body was, aligning his tip with your hole. with a firm grip on your hips, he begin to sink you down on his hard cock, slowly shoving his inches inside you.
your mouth formed an 'o' shape as your eyes shut tight, feeling full as he bottomed out.
"s-so full.." you moaned, feeling him slowly thrust inside of you as the curve of his dick molded so perfectly in your wet walls. you clenched down on him, making him grunt at the sudden tightness.
"you feel so good, babygirl." zayne whispered, pressing a gentle kiss on your cheek and temple before sliding you up and down his dick. you rested your head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent as you kissed his neck.
this felt so new compared to what happened just minutes ago. the others fought over you like you were some piece of meat to claim; but zayne treated you like you were made of glass.
he was so gentle with his touches and strokes, you could almost cry.
zayne's tip nudged your cervix with every push of his hips, now having you pressed against the wall to have a better hold of you so that he can drive his hips into yours faster. your cunt weeped with arousal, gummy walls coated with his precum.
his thrusts were sharp yet slow, making sure it applied the right amount of pressure and friction to make you feel like you were seeing stars. his balls slapped against your ass, your nipple between his lips.
"hnghh.. love your cock, zyane. g-gonna cum.." you let out a shaky breath, clenching down on him as your increased sensitivity betrayed your body, not allowing you to hold onto your orgasm for too long.
"it's okay, baby. you can cum." he grunted against the wet skin of your tits and you didn't realize how intimate and erotic the whole sight was.
a choked out whimper escaped your throat, your cunt clamping down on him as you squirted all over his cock. your body twitched and trembled at your orgasm, panting as you leaned against his chest.
"shit, please... i need you to fill me up." you begged and that's all it took him to bust a fat load of his thick, hot cum inside your hole.
"fuck.." he swore and god it sounded so hot coming from his mouth.
the bathroom was filled with the sounds of uneven breathing and the running showerhead.
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
you stirred awake, groaning as you now laid on your back. sunlight beamed into your room, making your eyes burn as you tried to crack one of them.
"fuckin' hell.." you cursed under your breath, adjusting your vision as you sat up on your bed. your head was swirling as you held it in pain, wincing.
it was all a dream.
you slapped yourself, not believing how delusional you became to believe that whatever the hell that was could be reality.
"yeah, i'm losing it." you sighed deeply, scratching your head. you tapped your phone screen, reading the time as your eyes blew wide open.
fuck, it was well past noon, meaning you missed your morning classes already.
"you're kidding me." you huffed out in annoyance, leaning back on the headboard as you unlocked your phone.
you saw the many, many, many missed calls from your best friend; making you snort.
as you swiped through your applications, your eyes fell on the love and deepspace icon. memories of your strange dream replayed fresh in your memory, your body weirdly aching.
you brushed off those thoughts, clicking the icon as you wondered if infold fixed those weird bugs and glitches by now. you were surprised to see the app back into shape, running in good quality as you logged in with ease.
"huh, weird." you mumbled to yourself, calmly collecting your daily’s.
until you realized you had five undread messages.
hey pipsqueak, hope you're not still mad at me for being a bit mean to ya. i'll cook for you when you come back :p
hope you're not missing me too much, sweetie. come back and i'll take you for a joyride.
cutieeee! i miss you already :C come back soon, okay? need my personal pillow back.
if your throat is still sore, come back so we can have hotpot together. it'll be my treat.
have you taken those painkillers like i told you to?
your jaw was wide open, not believing your eyes. these texts seemed way too real to be automated.
"what the fuck." you quickly opened your front camera, only to see the faint purplish marks decorating your neck.
holy shit, all of that was real.
a smirk etched on your face as you quickly tapped the facetime app, ringing the only person you knew could stand this news and have a silver of faith in you to be convinced.
"finally decided to call me back? thought you died in your sleep or something." your best friend nagged at you, making you chuckle.
"you won't believe what happened last night." you giggle, making her roll her eyes at you.
"let me guess, you had a dream about all the lads guys fucking your brains out." she responded with a bored voice.
"even better."
---
a/n: hehe, if you made it to the end, kuddos to you cuz rereading through this was a pain the ass. if you couldn't tell by now, this was very self-indulgent, so i got carried away. hope you guys enjoyed it tho!!
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#lads smut#lads x reader#love and deepspace sylus#xavier love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#love and deepspace caleb#zayne love and deepspace#caleb x reader#sylus x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#zayne x reader#sylus smut#caleb smut#zayne smut#rafayel smut#xavier smut#lnds#l&ds#love and deepspace fic#lads sylus#lads caleb#lads zayne#lads xavier#lads rafayel#lads#lnds smut
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ok shit after i sent this to my drafts i didn't realise it cut off some of my tags bc it didn't tell me that i had reached my tag limit LMAO. pls read under the cut after the tags <3
OH AND THE SMUT SCENE WAS FANTASTICCCCCCCC KJSUTGIWITGEWUGYUGWUYGWUGU BUT I WILL FOREVER WAIL AND THROW MYSELF ON WALLS AT THE MENTION OF HIS GRANDMOTHER AND PARENTS.
this fic pulled on my heartstrings. but it also made my heart race and jump. i laughed but some parts also left me clutching my chest. i cried but i also smiled. this just tells me that reading your work is always an experience <3 AND WHAT A WONDERFUL GIFT YOU HAVE <3 THANK U FOR SHARING IT WITH US
like a lotus in spring, you are mine to bloom — ft. alhaitham
synopsis: at twenty one, you’re just a girl he meets as he trains for the role of scribe. at twenty four, you’ve become everything he loves in this world. after three years of knowing you and nearly two and a half decades of life, alhaitham finally realizes why his father left letters for his mother instead of just saying the words outloud
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❤︎ word count: 7.7k words — we find ourselves here in the same old situation again, i see LOL pls give it a chance though!! plssss
❤︎ before you read: female reader ; 18+ content — not suitable for minors ; not proof read ; strangers to friends to lovers ; mutual pining but not at the same time for a bit (he falls first <3) ; jealous alhaitham ; hinted drunk sex ; getting together + love confessions ; alhaitham character story spoilers + references to his grandmother and parents ; semi-clothed unprotected sex ; no prep ; some nipple play ; creampie ; the cringiest love letter at the end LOL
❤︎ comments: guys every time i write alhaitham it’s so corny and cheesy but . he is my fav genshin guy of all time i deserve to be allowed this okay
TWENTY ONE.
You’re still a student when you first meet Alhaitham. (Not a student for much longer, but a student all the same. With a little luck on your side and good graces from your darshan’s sage on your thesis, you’re expected to graduate in just a few short months.)
You don’t have the best first meet. In fact, your impression of Alhaitham starts off entirely on the wrong foot.
He’s newly graduated, just freshly rewarded a degree for his (impressive) efforts, and is now well on his way to training for the role of scribe—you heard he was offered far more prestigious roles, but for some reason, a genius like him settled for a role like that. You try not to judge. People have their passions, after all, and if that’s what he wants to do, well…who are you to make comments? (But amongst a school that only houses the brilliant, Alhaitham is, very undoubtedly, a standout. It’s hard to stand out in a school filled with only the best minds, but he manages to do so with ease. Sometimes, you’re almost jealous. You can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t aim a little higher than he does.)
He trains in the house of Daena. His first order of training is to fact-check ordinance drafts using books so he can better get the hang of drafting them himself in the future. You’re also in the House of Daena to find the last book for your thesis—after weeks of begging, you’re finally granted access to the restricted section to find it.
And you do. Except your palm meets warm skin instead of the cold leather cover of a book. You pause, glancing up as sharp, teal eyes meet your gaze, staring at you expectantly as if you should be the one letting go. But you need this book. It’s the final research element to finish your thesis, and you’d like to be done with it. End of story. No matter how devastatingly handsome the man (because he is handsome, you’ll admit at least that much), you will not be handing over the last, final key to your academic freedom.
“Um, excuse me,” you say politely, “I was kind of reaching for that.”
“As was I,” he says, staring at you with a bored, almost uncaring expression. Your eyes narrow. “Now, if you’d please kindly take your hand off of mine.”
“I believe it should be you taking your hand off of mine,” you correct, huffing as you add stubbornly, “I reached for it first.”
He blinks at you, bland and a little irritated, as he points out, “Your hand is on top of mine, which means I reached the book first.”
Well.
Maybe if you were feeling particularly patient, you’d be inclined to admit that, yes, he does have a point. But stubbornness, combined with pure exhaustion, has you at your wit's end, and if you have to play the role of a difficult student, then so be it. You’re pretty sure you need it more, and you’re probably a much speedier reader anyway. You’ll have it done and returned in no time.
This guy, on the other hand…he doesn’t look too bright. You’re not willing to take your chances and let him walk off with a book that you might never see again.
“I started reaching for it first,” you scowl, “you just sped up your hand once you saw me. I should get it.”
“Unlikely,” he scoffs, “I didn’t even see you. Although,” he gives you a once over with his eyes, making you feel uncomfortably seen under his judging gaze, “I suppose you were a bit easy to miss.”
You gape at him. “Just what does that mean?”
“It means,” he smirks, taking the opportunity to grab the book as you stand in shock, “that I got here first.”
“Hey!” You glare at him, seeing red for a moment. What a perfectly good waste of a perfectly handsome face—and such an awful attitude coupled with his ridiculously smug grin couldn’t make for a worse combination. But, before you can even say anything, the book is being pressed back into your hands.
“You seem like you want it more than I do, though,” he hums, “I suppose I can let you have it. It’s a bit outdated for this ordinance, anyway.” With that, he saunters off. You push down the soft flutter in your heart for a moment and force yourself to hope you’ll never see him again. (Faintly, you hope your wishes don’t come true—but you refuse to admit it to yourself.)
Unfortunately (and fortunately at the same time) for you, you do see him again. Many, many times, in fact. When he works in the House of Daena as often as he does, and you like to spend all your free time there to study if you can, you’re both bound to run into each other often. Very often.
And sometimes, it’s quite literally running into him.
“Oof,” you hiss, staggering backward and hitting your head against the bookshelf behind you as you bump into a sturdy figure. You drop the books in your hand, blinking before reaching to rub your read as you start to apologize. “Sorry, I didn’t see you—oh. It’s you.”
“It’s me,” he says, looking mildly entertained. Alhaitham is everywhere. Everywhere. You can’t escape him if you try, and now, you can’t even avoid him in your own personal space. “Although, I think I should be the one apologizing this time. I was too busy reading to pay attention. This section is usually empty at this time.”
“How often are you in here to know what section is empty at what time?” You raise a brow.
“Too often to be considered good for my well-being,” he says dryly, sighing in misery. You crack a smile at that. Oddly enough, so does he—you don’t think you’ve ever heard someone say they’ve seen Alhaitham smile. It must be a rare sight that only you, and perhaps a very few others, can say they’ve witnessed. “I was just about to take a break to buy a coffee—I’ll bring one back for you, too, to make up for the cranial damage I’ve supplied.”
“A most wonderful idea,” you perk up instantly, “I love when I get to drain the wallet of a man.”
He gives you an amused look at that. And somehow, bringing you a coffee along with his own during his breaks is a habit that seems to stick for a long, long while after that.
────────────────────────
TWENTY TWO.
Alhaitham’s feelings are hurt. Not a lot of words tend to do that—he’s been blessed with thick skin and an unbothered attitude to a fault, sometimes. But something about today, for some odd reason, hurts his feelings.
Your words to the waiter who took your order keep ringing in his head.
Oh goodness, no, we are definitely not dating!
Most people mistake you and Alhaitham for a pair of lovers rather than a pair of friends. It’s just the way things go when a man and a woman are seen together for extended periods of time over and over. It doesn’t help that Alhaitham doesn’t really have any friends. He had one before you, but…well, things are complicated now. Far too complicated to think about it more than necessary. He has you, and that’s enough. But the matter still stands that most people tend to assume that something blossoms between the two of you that isn’t just friendly.
He was starting to think it was true himself, too. He knows it’s true from his end, at least. But you say those words with such a sure, definitive tone that it almost sounds like you’re offended by the notion of being seen as his girlfriend. And sure, he would be disappointed—he’s no liar—if you didn’t feel romantically for him, but he’d understand. It’s not something you can help. But you brush off the idea like it’s an anomaly of sorts in the universe for someone like you and someone like Alhaitham to be a couple. It hurts his feelings. More than it should.
(He knows deep down, in the depths of his heart, that you don’t mean it that way. You never would. But irrationality is but one of many feelings that bloom when it comes to romance.)
Alhaitham knows from a young age he’s different than most kids his age. This fact doesn’t change as he gets older. He’s brighter than most of his peers—which is certainly saying something because Sumeru is a nation filled with enough sharp minds, it’s as though brilliance were the average trait. People don’t typically like Alhaitham (which is fine by him, he doesn’t like most of them, either. They mostly don’t meet his standards). The kids don’t play with him in the parks that Grandmother would leave him at while she shopped around at the market, and they don’t sit with him on his one and only day at the Akademiya when he is but an elementary scholar. It never bothered him. He preferred reading under the trees and self-learning at home, anyway. When he’s older and enrolled in the Akademiya full-time, they don’t prefer to partner with him for projects for any other reason than simply being guaranteed a good grade, and they don’t spare him a glance when they all converse in groups outside of class. He never cared for freeloaders, anyway—he only trusts himself for projects, and he is at the Akademiya to learn, not make friends.
It’s not until he meets Kaveh does he consider the idea that friendships are meaningful enough to spare some effort into. But the end result of that only solidifies that he is best when in solitude.
But then he meets you. Some part of Alhaitham knows very early on that you would never be just a friend to him. If it was friendship that he craved, he would have looked for it elsewhere before running into you. Something about you from the very beginning makes him yearn for things much deeper than that. Things that remind him of his parents.
Friendship is fleeting. People at the Akademiya go their separate ways and meet new people. They fall out and have arguments. They grow up and grow apart and become different. But love blooms like the Kalpalata lotuses on a vine, timeless as time itself. It starts and never ends, one root stemming into more and more vines until they never stop growing.
Alhaitham has fallen in love with you. Logic tells him it’s only a recent development, but his heart has known this outcome would be brought about for a long, long time. And, in all truthfulness, your words have hurt his feelings.
And yet, he still loves you through it. He thinks that even if you crushed his feelings with a cold, indifferent smile, he would still love you through it.
A hand waves in front of his face, pulling him from his thoughts as you take a sip from your coffee. Puspa Cafe is not as busy at this hour, most people are in the middle of a work day, but Alhaitham is allowed to pick his lunch hour, and yours happens to be earlier than most.
“Sorry, I just have to ask—are…are you upset?” you ask gently, making him pause.
Yes.
“No,” he says simply, “why would I be?”
“You seem upset.”
“I’m not.”
“You were fine up until…I don’t know, a few minutes ago. Is something on your mind?”
You know him so well, he thinks. How could you not see how perfect the two of you are together?
“I’m simply concerned about your sugar intake is all,” he eyes the cold, iced drink in your hands with more syrups than he deems necessary. You always have a penchant for choosing the sweetest drink off the menu, and Alhaitham will never understand how your teeth don’t rot.
“Well, that’s very funny,” you roll your eyes, “because I was just thinking about how low on vitamin D you must be—do you ever leave your study to see the sun?”
He spares you a soft chuckle at that, shaking his head before taking a sip of his own coffee—hot and black and with two spoons of sugar. Simple, like how he prefers. You make a face at his drink as he sets it down.
“Have you ever thought about what you look for in a partner?” he asks suddenly, making you blink in shock for a moment. He flinches at his own forwardness just a tad.
“Umm, I suppose a little here and there…why do you ask?”
“No reason,” he shrugs, “just curious what your type was, that’s all. You’re painfully single, so I figured your taste was rather distinct.”
“Rude,” you scoff, rolling your eyes enough that he thinks it’s safe to assume you’re not suspicious. “Are you here just to poke fun at my choices today?”
Alhaitham should not be asking you this. Not when the answer so clearly is going to hurt his already very bruised feelings. Of course, your type won’t be him. And, of course, he is going to mourn your answer the second you give it, which is his own fault considering he’s the one who asked. (He has to wonder, for a moment, if this constitutes as an undiscovered hidden kink of his and whether or not he really just gets off on some unnecessary pain. Why else would he willingly subject himself to this?)
But, he’s caught off guard when you shrug and simply say, “I suppose someone who’s intelligent. I’d appreciate some good discussions. And…and maybe someone who’s kind, y’know? I would be rather sad if they were mean,” you pretend to sniffle dramatically.
“That’s…that’s it?” He tilts his head in equal parts shock and equal parts confusion.
“What did you expect me to look for in a partner?” You snort, “A three-story mansion? A rock-solid, chiseled chest to lay on?”
“Well, no,” he rolls his eyes, “Maybe something a bit less generic to narrow down your pool, I suppose, but if that’s your bar, so be it. There are far too many men who are intelligent and kind, you know.”
“Yes, but none of them show me any signs of interest,” you pout, “I must be undesirable or something.”
I desire you, he wants to say. He can’t quite find the courage to get the words out, though—and as if the universe has it completely out for him, the same waiter from earlier who is responsible for asking you the question that kills Alhaitham’s mood for the day comes back with the bill. And something else, too.
Something that kills his mood for the week.
His jaw clenches a tad when you flush at the note scribbled on a napkin for you, eyeing your flustered reaction while you read over the words: I get off at eight if you’d like to find me. You stare for a moment before you murmur, “Well, look at that. A sign of interest—it must be the Dendro Archon’s divine power.”
“The Divine have no say over who you fall for,” he insists.
“You don’t know that,” you hum thoughtfully, “The God of Wisdom knows her people better than anyone else, you know. I’d like to think she knows when love is bound for two people.”
You fold the napkin carefully and keep it in your pocket, and Alhaitham fishes out his mora pouch with stiff fingers. He leaves a very shoddy tip on the table before he exits after you.
────────────────────────
TWENTY THREE.
You wake up in his bed.
It’s a foggy memory, but you know you fucked Alhaitham after more sips of wine than you can count and one flirty comment too many. It happened in a blur last night, and you can’t say you’re surprised that it finally happened at all. Alhaitham is a man just like any other, and mingling pleasure with friendship is a normal thing to do. Falling under him on his mattress is not something you never had daydreams of—but the truth of the matter is that your daydreams don’t just stop with the bed.
They end with a toothbrush beside his in the bathroom. A mug next to his in the kitchen. Your shoes kicked off along with his at the entrance of a home. Your laughter and his bouncing off of the walls. A ring, maybe. One on your hand and one on his.
In your imagination, it starts with pleasure, but it ends with love.
Falling in love with Alhaitham is a peaceful ordeal. He’s dependable and inherently kind. Strong and impressively capable. Intelligent and objectively handsome. You’d bring him home to your mother and father, and they’d thank Lord Kusanali for smiling down upon their humble little family and their darling little daughter by sending such a divine man your way.
You don’t think you can pinpoint when exactly it is you started to love this boy, but you know loving him became as simple as breathing. You never thought about it. Never learned to do it. Never questioned it, even. You inhale the scent of his spicy, woody cologne and exhale the warm breath of your affections stored in your lungs. He lives somewhere nestled so deep in your ribcage that you think you’d have to crack each of them one after the other before you could pry him out.
You love Alhaitham. You think you know everything there is to know about loving him. You think you’d do it right—better than anyone else.
He only drinks his coffee when it’s piping hot, and his wine can never be one degree less than iced. He has dry hands, but he hates the feeling of lotion. He doesn’t like raw onions but he doesn’t mind them cooked. When the sun is in his eyes, he’s in a foul mood, but he enjoys napping under the warm rays, much like a cat. He laughs surprisingly boyishly from his belly if you manage to deliver a dry yet clever enough joke, and he clears his throat and gets a bit shy once he’s realized he’s let it out. He twirls his pen in his hand when he’s bored, and he only uses the kind with gel ink because they write smoother.
You love Alhaitham. For you, it’s always been him.
When you wake up to his bare, warm body next to yours, breathing peacefully with an arm thrown over your waist, you can’t help but selfishly wish he’d stay asleep all day. Just for a day. Just for the amount of time you get in between the sun’s departure and the moon’s arrival. Just so you can watch him exist in this moment where it’s you, him, and the liminal space between friends and lovers. Just so you can admire how beautiful he is without worrying about his eyes opening and the inevitable conversation of what you’re both doing is brought up.
People (like Kaveh, or Dehya, or Tighnari, or…anyone) tend to insist that Alhaitham loves you. It’s obvious, they say, just as obvious as your love for him. You never believe it. It’s not because he’s bad at love or because you’re bad for him. You think he’d make a good lover—contrary to popular belief, you don’t think Alhaitham is uninterested in intimacy or affection. And you think you’d make a good girlfriend—unlike other people, you understand him and like what you see.
But he doesn’t love you. That much is a fact you’ve long accepted. It’s not because you’re bad for him or because he’s incapable of feeling—but rather, it’s just that bitter, soul-crushing reality that you can’t help who you love and who you don’t. Alhaitham doesn’t love you—it’s not something either of you can really change. Because if he did, he’d waste no time. He’d get to the heart of the matter and quit dancing around the issue.
It’s just the kind of guy that he is.
So, because this is your first and likely last time seeing him this way, you slowly reach over and brush a few strands of messy, unruly bedhead from his forehead before cupping his cheek in your hand. His skin is soft and warm under your palm, much more delicate to the touch than you anticipated from how chiseled his features are. Your thumb gently brushes along the slant of his cheekbone, eyes softening at how he lets out a puff of air as he sleeps.
“Morning,” he says hoarsely, eyes still closed and making you jolt in surprise. He lets out a quiet, sleepy chuckle that would make you melt if not for the way your heart still pounds from the shock.
“You’re awake?”
“Mhm,” he hums, nodding before finally cracking an eye open. “For a while now.”
“Why pretend to sleep then, you creep?” You scoff, glaring at him as he sits up slightly and glances at you with a teasing glint in his eyes. No part of him seems to be shocked about you being nude in his bed. Or the fact that you’re even in his bed at all, nude or not.
“You’re the creep if we’re being technical here. It’s undoubtedly a little on the creepy side to study someone with such careful touches while they sleep.”
“That’s your main concern…?” You stare at him—and for lack of better words, you’re dumbfounded. You and Alhaitham have been friends for two years and counting. You’ve never once crossed the line or even toed at it to step beyond the border of anything more. And, yet, here you are. In his bed. Completely nude. He was lying there and felt your delicate touch along his skin, felt you act like a lover and not a friend on a quiet, intimate morning when in fact, you both should be shamefully avoiding each other’s eyes in a moment that’s anything but intimate as you leave.
He makes no move to ask you to leave or even question why you’re still here. You make no move to really leave—it’s not like you want to.
“What should my main concern be, then?” he looks at you expectantly, like he really doesn’t know.
“Oh, I don’t know, Alhaitham—shouldn’t you be a little more panicked by the idea that I’ve trespassed into your bed and seen you…bare?”
“Well, to be fair, you didn’t trespass. I let you in—and also, to be fair, I saw the same for you, too, so we’re even.”
“You’re oddly calm about this,” you hiss. “This doesn’t bother you even a little? That things might change?”
He looks at you funny—like you’ve just told him a joke that hardly makes sense but makes him want to laugh anyway. “You’re too brilliant to be this dense,” he murmurs. “Maybe I’m quite open to the idea of change.”
You take offense to the first part enough to completely miss the second part of his statement.
“I am not dense,” you huff, “I’m incredibly bright. I’ll have to send you my thesis sometime.”
“No need,” he responds through a low hum. He pulls you closer, flush against his chest. Bare skin on skin. Intimate skin, at that. You shiver for a moment as his warm, large hand wanders lower and lower before stopping just at the small of your back, rubbing slow circles at the dimple where your spine ends. “I’ve read it plenty of times. It was very insightful.”
“Well, in that case, you should know not to insult my intelligence—”
“If you don’t notice my affection for you, I’m afraid you might not be as observant as I initially thought.”
You pause. Your heart flutters. Then it feels like it decays. Your eyes widen a fraction. Then they feel like they need to be squeezed shut for fear of tears. You feel your fingers twitch to reach for him. And yet they stiffen in distrust.
“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you whisper. Because you don’t.
You really fucking don’t. You thought you knew. His feelings and how to read them. His thoughts and how his mind works. Every little quirk of his and how he approaches every damn thing in this world. You thought you knew.
Now you feel like you don’t know much of anything, especially not what he means right in this moment.
“You don’t?” He whispers, hand moving to grab your wrist and bring it to his cheek so his lips can brush along the delicate lines of your palm prints. (If he was brave, he’d tell you that his destiny and yours are written in those very lines. Maybe someday he’ll build the courage.)
“No,” you say through a shaky whisper. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I love you. Just like you love me.” He says it so plainly, that you almost feel like it's a dry, cruel joke. (You know him a little better than that, though, to know he’d never.)
“How do you know I love you?” you challenge just because it’s all you have left to cling to—easy, instant denial.
He laughs. Soft. Quiet. Melodic. So fucking sweet. “I’m too smart to act dense,” Alhaitham teases. And then, for a moment, his eyes soften enough that they almost look vulnerable. “And only someone who loves me could deal with my… peculiarities. Though, I will admit, it took me quite a while to reach this conclusion. You made me work for it.”
“If you’ve known all along—”
“Not all along,” he corrects, “like I said, it took me a while to come to this conclusion. But once I did, it was rather obvious.”
You scowl with a finger prodding into his chest, eyes misty with relief and the faintest traces of agitation, “Well, regardless, why haven’t you said something all this time? Obviously, I wasn’t as aware as you seem to be, so the least you could have done is spared me the pining and heartbreak of wondering if you’d ever look at me—”
“I wanted to make sure I could offer you a peaceful life first,” he says gently. You blink. He smiles, eyeing something in the distance—you don’t quite catch it, but you think it might be the old, worn-out stack of envelopes sitting on his desk.
“What?”
“When you’re with me,” he whispers, leaning in so that his lips brush over yours, “I can lead a peaceful life. I wanted to make sure I could give you the same.”
“And what does that consist of?” you raise a brow.
“Well,” he murmurs, pecking the corner of your mouth, “A stable job with a generous income, which I now have. A fixed schedule, which I have also negotiated. A proper home to house the both of us, which you are comfortably laying in. And…” he grabs your hand, bringing it to his chest where his heart is beating erratically, “A rock-solid, chiseled chest to lay on, which I have dedicatedly worked to add to my physique for you.”
“Haitham!” you squeal, shoving him away with a horrified shriek as he laughs with a wide grin. You don’t even know why he still remembers that comment to poke fun at it, but you suppose that is the tragedy of falling for a prodigious scholar. His mind is sharp. And so is his memory. “Enough!”
“Okay, okay,” he grins smugly. “I want us to lead a peaceful life.”
“There’s not a lot of peace I am counting on with you.”
“I will elect to ignore that statement,” he says dryly, “But that’s why I waited this long,” he buries his face into your neck, nose pressing into the skin as he inhales, “I’m afraid I can’t wait any longer, though. Won’t you accept my frugal attempt at a serene life with you?”
“Perhaps I can make do,” you fight back a stupid grin.
He smiles into your neck. You can feel it. You can practically see it. You hope you’ll grow old with it, too.
“Then I suppose I’m forever indebted to your graciousness, my love.”
────────────────────────
TWENTY FOUR.
When Alhaitham was eight, Grandmother told him the story of how his parents had fallen in love. It was a typical love story, he thought at the time—nothing overly special or unique. A simple, sweet bond between two people who became friends and something more along the way.
What stood out were the letters. Not very much at first, but with time, he’d realized how special they were.
Grandmother handed him the letters with a soft, melancholy look in her eyes that made him realize he hadn’t just lost his father and mother. She had lost her son and daughter-in-law. Alhaitham felt the absence of his parents often. It was hard not to at that age—he didn’t have a father to throw a ball to or tag along with to the market. He didn’t have a mother to hum him a melody or make his favorite dish for dinner. But Grandmother filled the gaps in those places well enough that even if his heart bled, not too much blood spilled between the cracks.
But he was no son. Not a proper one for her at her age, anyway. She raised him like he was her own, but she grew older every day, and he didn’t grow fast enough to keep up. He couldn’t take care of her in her old age the way his father would have. He couldn’t do much besides bring the vegetables for her to cut or set the table while she cooked. He couldn’t offer her the mora when she went to the market or carry too many of the heavy bags while they walked home. He couldn’t let her rest in her old age too much because, regardless of how mature and bright he was for his age, Alhaitham was just a child. Her child, nonetheless—Grandmother didn’t let him forget that fact. But a child.
When she died, he arranged the funeral alone. He didn’t cry throughout the whole ordeal. Her old colleagues from way back in her Akademiya days came, as did some of his parents’ old acquaintances. No one he knew too familiarly, though—no one who really mattered when they clasped his shoulder and told him to hang in there.
She was a good woman. He knew that already.
She was very intelligent. A very obvious fact.
She was exceptionally kind. A rather unsurprising observation.
She loved very deeply. Well. That one stung—as true as it might have been.
He remembers it so vividly still. How he had walked home alone after it all. How he had taken off his tie (a very poorly tied tie, at that—Grandmother had always helped him before) and silently entered his room.
It wasn’t until he had eyed his desk that finally, it all sank in. The notes—the ones his father had so carefully written his mother while they were still just starting to fall in love, sat there as if waiting for him. He read them one by one, just like he had so many times before. He didn’t realize he’d started crying until a rivulet of his sorrow landed from his cheek to the page, staining the paper a darker shade of heartache.
Alone.
That’s all Alhaitham had ever been since the tender age of four. At least, that’s what people had always thought—but he’d never felt the sorrow people tended to feel for him. Not having a father and mother was okay. Hard at times, but okay. Grandmother had been everything he needed. More than what he needed, in fact.
Grandmother was everything. And she had left him just the same way his parents had. He’d cried that night—alone in a house that was nothing more than just a house. Not a home, not a place where he could return to and look forward to it. Not a place where love was waiting for him to shelter him as soon as he came back from the cruel, outside world.
Grandmother was gone. Mother and father had left so long ago. But they all had each other—in whatever world they’d crossed to, they’d had each other.
He remembers it all so vividly still. How he’d read his father’s words, and for the first time in all his life, he’d craved it. What his parents had.
To my love, my soul, my heart. I am yours, always.
He wondered that night, through teary and blurry eyes, if love like that would ever find him. If he’d one day be able to call someone his love, soul, and heart.
He thinks now, as you laugh with your head tilted forward and a tweezer in hand while sitting on his lap, that he can.
“Hold still, you,” comes your teasing remark, “you said this would be nothing. Now look at you.”
“You’re being too harsh,” he grumbles, pouting slightly. With a smile, you bend your neck down and press a soft kiss to his jutted lips, humming before pressing an extra one to the corner of his mouth for good measure. (And yes, the grand sage—acting, you can almost hear him correct in your own head—can pout. He is rather frequent at curling those lips of his in your presence when he wants something, in fact. Or when he is teased too much. Something about you brings about a side of him that is much less stoic and far more dramatized.)
“You can just admit it hurts, you know,” you say through an amused snort.
“It won’t hurt if you just do it right.”
“I’m an expert at tweezing eyebrows,” you huff, “I do mine all the time. And I would know that it hurts.”
“It can’t be that painful,” he clicks his teeth, “just be gentle.”
“I cannot gently pull out a hair from your follicle, Haitham—I don’t know what you want me to—hey!”
He grabs the tweezers from your hand and pulls you close, hugging you tight enough that his nose digs into your skin a bit as he buries it into your neck. It’s Saturday. His first out of two days off for the week—standard scribe work weeks are nine to five on weekdays, and he very much appreciates his weekends away from the bustling, lively Akademiya nonsense.
Saturday happens to be your day off, too.
“Where is Kaveh?” you ask quietly, playing with the hem of his shirt. He raises a brow, eyeing the suspicious movement of your fingers.
“Working with a client in Aaru Village. He won’t be back until tomorrow evening. Why am I not enough company for you?”
“Oh, be quiet,” you roll your eyes, and this time, your hands wander under his shirt, palms slowly dragging along his chiseled, planed abdomen while he shivers slightly under your touch. “I was just asking if…”
“If…?” he urges you to continue.
You know he knows. But, for the sake of indulging his smug, teasing little game, you huff and push his shirt up to expose his chest before murmuring, “If we would be interrupted or not. I don’t fancy such awkward run-ins with your roommate.”
“Our roommate,” he corrects, “this is your home, too.”
“Yes,” you smile, brushing your palms over his pectorals, watching as he stiffens when you graze along his nipples, “I suppose it is.”
“Well, he’s not here. And he won’t be, so kiss me,” he demands through a breathy whisper. You do. You kiss him instantly—because kissing Alhaitham is what you do best. When he’s happy, sad, angry, distressed, or just plain tired, kissing him is how you know him the most. When your breaths exchange and your life force and his mingle to become one, singular unit.
You sigh into his mouth, letting his hands cradle your jaw and tilt your head to better meet his mouth, all while your hands still explore his upper half. He moans under your touch, cock springing to life slowly below you through his pants. You angle your hips forward, inching higher up his lap to drag your crotch along his and help the erection grow against the friction.
“Fuck,” he hisses, hard and heavy between his legs in no time.
“Haitham,” you breathe, feeling that familiar ache build between your own thighs.
You kiss him like that for a bit. Messy, deep, sloppy, and so, so slow. With all the time in the world. Languid strokes of your tongue against his as he rolls his hips up from underneath you, dragging his clothed, bulging cock against your dripping cunt. The fabric separates you, rudely so, and it’s not long until you both grow tired of it.
“Off,” you whine, tugging at his pants, “off, off, off!”
“So demanding,” he chuckles, pecking your nose sweetly before he lifts his hips, letting you slide off his sweatpants. “Satisfied?”
“Yes,” you beam, “You always give me what I want. It’s my favorite thing about you.”
His gaze darkens at that—not for any other reason than it makes him so incredibly filled with lust when you speak to him like that. So spoiled and happy about it because it’s him. Him. You’re happy that it’s him. And he’s happy that it’s you.
You don’t even bother undressing yourselves fully—he pulls down your own pants just enough to expose your pretty, leaking folds, and his hands wander under your shirt, where he almost short-circuits for a moment. Braless. Because you just love to drive him mad, he thinks. This much easy access to your soft, delicate breasts and the pert nipples that decorate them is enough to make him curse under his breath as his thumbs tease over them.
“You’re a tease.”
“For simply existing?” you gasp, making him crack a small grin.
“Yes,” he hums, “Your existence on its own teases me at all times. I’m afraid it drives me mad.”
You hum, reaching forward to gently take his hard, leaking cock into your hand and give a light, teasing squeeze. “Maybe my goal is to turn you completely into a lost cause.”
“Then,” he groans, throwing his head back against the couch cushions while he breathes harshly, “then you’re definitely succeeding. Is that what you wished to hear?”
“Yes,” you whisper, kissing his jaw, “It is, actually.”
It doesn’t take long at all before Alhaitham has tossed you back against the couch, laughing as you shriek at the sudden change of position. You glare at him, fighting back your own chorus of giggles as he moves to hover over you, kissing and biting playfully along your cheeks.
“I love you,” he mumbles.
“Aw, so sweet,” you coo, “say that again.”
He rolls his eyes. His lips curl into the brightest grin at the same time. My love, my soul, my heart—the words are ingrained in his memory always. “I love you.”
“And I love you,” you whisper.
He leans in for a soft, slow kiss as the tip of his leaking cock slides against your folds, tapping against your clit before rubbing along your entrance. You gasp, shuddering against him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer.
“You know,” he murmurs, “I could get used to this.”
“Sex on the couch? We can do that any time—”
“A weekend with just the two of us,” he groans, dropping his head to your neck as you laugh loudly. Bright. Airy. A sound the wind carries to him in his subconscious. He hears you even when you’re not there—even when you aren’t around, he searches for you.
“Oh,” you say playfully, “Yeah, I guess that’s nice too, isn’t it?”
“I’ll show you just how nice it’s about to be,” he hums. The tip of his thick, blunt head is pressed against your folds—you’re leaking just as much as he is. You slick, and his pre cum mix for a messy collision of arousal as he presses into you slowly, so carefully, you feel like you could break at any second with how he handles you.
He’s patient. When Alhaitham fucks you, he’s patient enough that you feel like his other half and not his means of pleasure. Like he fucks you for you and not for himself.
“More,” you insist, impatient as you add, “I can take it.”
“Patience is a virtue,” he clicks his teeth, “I want to take my time feeling you.”
And he does. He rolls his hips slowly. So slowly, you feel delirious. It’s a painful, gradual build-up of pleasure that has you trying to roll your hips into him to meet him halfway, a pathetic attempt when he’s on top of you to press his weight down on you to keep you in place.
“Please, Haitham,” you whine, sweat shining across your sweet, pleasure-hazed face as he stares down at you, “Please more. I need it—need you. Need all of you.”
“You have all of me,” he groans, feeling the tight walls of your cunt squeeze around him, the squelching noise of his thick girth bullying into your folds in and out, in and out, in and out, driving him to the brink of insanity. “You’ve always had every piece of me.”
“I want more,” you hiss.
He lets out a breathy laugh that turns into a soft moan. “If that’s what you want.”
The next thing you know, two strong, muscled arms are grabbing your thighs and bringing them around his torso to wrap around him, and his large hands grab your hips and pull, practically manhandling you deeper onto his cock. You shudder, letting out a shrill, high-pitched gasp as he intrudes further into your cunt, nudging the head of his cock against your sweetest of spots and making your body tremble.
“Haitham,” you gasp, “Haitham, fuck—fuck, you feel so good. So deep—love when you fuck me like this.”
“Yeah?” he murmurs, kissing in between your pretty little scrunched-up eyebrows, “I love fucking you like this, too. When you take me so well, squeeze so tight, and let me feel you like the good girl you are.”
His words make your folds squeeze around him, and fuck—he’s close. So fucking close, the pad of his rough, callused thumb meets your clit as he rubs circles, trying to bring you to the edge before he goes plummeting himself.
“‘M close—almost…almost there,” you pant.
“Me too, baby,” he groans. He slams into you, skin slapping against skin and the glistening sheen of it mixing your sweat together. His mouth parts with pretty, low sounds of his pleasure, and your face twists with the devastating rush of yours.
Once. Twice. A third time, and you fall apart as he thrusts into you and presses the tip of his thick length against the spongey spot in the back of your walls.
“Haitham,” you gasp, legs tightening around him as your nails press crescent shapes into his back. “Fuck, I’m c-cumming…oh, Gods.”
“Good,” he gasps, and with one last roll of his desperate hips, he spills into you, too. A thick, sticky, familiar rush of heat fills your cunt, ropes of cum painting you white within with every twitch of his aching cock. “Fuck—you feel so good. So perfect—you were made for me. Me.”
“You,” you whisper, breathless.
You let him shudder over you, fingers running through his hair as he finishes releasing his load into you before he slumps his weight over your body. It’s a small couch—decorative more than functional. (All thanks to Kaveh, of course.) But you don’t particularly care when you’re under him. It feels right all the same.
“We have the house to ourselves this weekend,” he reminds you after some time of catching your breaths. “So…so we can do this all you want.”
You giggle, rolling your eyes as you poke his forehead. “You’re obscene.”
“I’m romantic,” he corrects, “I just want to be with you and nothing else. Can’t blame a man when he’s been gifted such a beautiful sight before him.”
“And cheesy, too,” you huff.
He smiles. My love, my soul, my heart.
——————————
You wake up Monday morning to Alhaitham already gone—it’s rare that he’s ever up before you. He leaves the house just in time to make it to work exactly on the dot and not a moment sooner or a moment later. But, as is with any Akademiya position, there are quarterly meetings that even the scribe can’t avoid. You giggle at the image in your head of a grumpy Alhaitham carefully tiptoeing around the room as he miserably gets ready for an early morning of extra work, all while making sure he doesn’t wake you.
You yawn, sitting up to start your morning for your own day of work ahead—but it catches your eye before you can fully rise from bed, making you pause.
A note? No, you realize almost instantly. Not just a note—a letter:
To my love, my soul, my heart: Kalpalata lotuses will bloom soon. I forget how beautiful the world is sometimes, and I suppose it’s because I am always distracted by your beauty alone. Will you laugh as you read this? I suppose you might because even I must admit, it is a rather cliche thing to say. I can just picture your smile now, and I am certain I will have it memorized until my last breath. It’s easy to remember it so well when it’s all I see in my dreams. Have I told you how often I see you in them? It’s difficult to think that there was once a time in Sumeru when we did not dream. It seems like sleeping beside your body is no longer enough—your presence is required even in my slumber for me to truly be at peace. Perhaps when the lotuses bloom, we can take a trip to the deeper parts of the rainforest to catch a glimpse of a few. They say the vines are blessed by The Lord herself. I was never one to seek out the divine, but perhaps with a gift as sacred as you, I should take the time to thank Lady Kusanali for granting such brilliance to take bloom in my presence. Only, the difference is that here with you, there are no cliffs to climb or seasons to await. You are mine to bloom, always—my precious, beautiful lotus. Forever yours, Haitham ♡
ITS DONE. HAPPY LATE BDAY TO MY FIRST AND LONGEST LOVE. YOU MEAN EVERYTHING AND MORE TO MEEEEE
#okokok i had to mentally prepare myself for this bc i knew down to my very bones that i would probably leave this experience with tears#running down my face. I HOPE YOU DONT MIND THE WAY I GUSH OVER YOUR WRITING I HOPE ITS NOT WEIRD AND ISTG I TRY TO KEEP IT TOGETHER BUT#I JUST CONSTANTLY HAVE SOMETHING TO YELL ABOUT.#here i goooo ->#OHHHHH THE MEETCUTE IS SO VERY HAITHAM.... HE CAN BE SUCH AN ASS SOMETIMES OH MY GOSH. WDYM IM EASY TO MISS.#'Alhaitham is everywhere. Everywhere.' i can see this... foreshadowing a lot ......... like a lot..... i love where this is going#'irrationality is but one of many feelings that bloom when it comes to romance' FACTS BABE FACTS#'How could you not see how perfect the two of you are together?' STOP IT RIGHT NOW HES SO IN LOVE PLEASEEE#OH MY GOD THE BEGINNING OF AGE 23JKGJDFHHJDGJBHJDFBHGFBDGJHBG'#“You don’t think you can pinpoint when exactly it is you started to love this boy but you know loving him became as simple as breathing.”#ok im being very srs rn i know im barely halfway but why am i already tearing up. this is embarrassing. this actually happened to me when i#watched wicked and i teared up before the title screen even came on. ITS HAPPENING AGAIN. LMFAO SORRY anyways where were we#“Well he’s not here. And he won’t be so kiss me” HDFJGJDFJFDJDJHGJHDGJDHGD#“Your existence on its own teases me at all times. I’m afraid it drives me mad.” oh haitham you shakespeare little bastard. WHEN I CATCH YO#(and you too riv). right. so i had to stop myself from livetweeting so i could enjoy the fic and riv :(( you must be a witch (aff) bc you#just made 7k worth of words feel like fleeting seconds to me. the way you story tell so effortlessly and the way you express love in its#truest REALEST form makes me such an admirer of your craft and well! i suppose thats why you were op to me for a while hehe :D i simply#cannot list my fav quotes because i fear it would be the entire fic! one of the things i always look forward to is the exchange between#characters because your dialogue is ALWAYS superb. im convinced you might've even jumped into alhaithams head to pull out all these wonderf#lines because im nodding along like YES YES YES HE WOULD SAY THIS. as a haitham kisser pieces like this make me so grateful that there are#other haitham kissers because one thing i can assure we all have in common and we all do WELL is LOVE THAT BOY TO DEATH. and that note at#the end was an assassination to MY LIFE. each time i read specifically a haitham piece from you i find myself loving him even more - IF THA#IS EVEN POSSIBLE. this was such a beautifully written piece. i can see how much YOU love him and how much you pay attention to his smaller#details. writings like this leaves me flabbergasted that we get to read this FOR FREE. that note.. that note tho... every time i read it i#wistfully sigh. the more i read it the more tears begin to bubble. to exist in a world where you get to love alhaitham and he loves#you back with equal fervor IF NOT MORE - would be so fulfilling. hehe i saw risu's ask about how if she were in a coma she would wish to#exist in THIS world while in that state. it made me giggle without context but NOW IMLIKE I TOTALLY GET IT LMAO. i must sum this up to avoi#sounding like a broken record but THANK YOU FOR THE FINE PIECE. IT WAS SUCH AN AMAZING READ. AS ALWAYS I LOOK FORWARD TO MORE. I LUV U. I#LUV THIS. AND I KISS YOUR WRINKLY JUICY BRAIN. MWAHMHWAMHWA#recs 📚
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Love the breastfeeding/overall tits obsessions here however have we done any sort of nipple clamp “torture” esc thing that could be something… I need mine played with now!!! (torture seems like such a harsh word but u know what I mean)
Sore
Joel Miller x F!Reader
notes: ok so I did go a bit "torture" ish on this one and maybe a little dark but you know what, lets roll with it!
Warnings: Dom!Joel, bondage, lactating, breastfeeding, breast slapping, nipple clamps, overstimulation, bondage, dry humping, vibrators, blindfold, dark!Joel vibes at first. Daddy kink, not proofread
18+ ONLY
- - - -
Tommy pat his brother on the back as the two of them finished a long day’s work.
“I’ll come by tonight for dinner?” The younger Miller asked as he hopped back in his truck.
Joel waved him off. “Nah I got other plans tonight.”
Tommy chuckled. “Like what? Got a date?”
Joel shook his head, closing the door for him. “Something like that. I’ll see ya tomorrow, little brother.”
Tommy waved him in the mirror and drove off.
The older brother waited until his truck rounded the corner, the facade of his kindly smile fading as the truck disappeared.
He stepped inside, making sure to lock the door behind him with a firm click, and an extra latch. Can never be too safe out there, with all the news going around lately of some creeps harboring young women in their basements, or forcing them into lewd acts in public.
Joel wouldn’t want you exposed to them.
The floorboards creaked under his heavy boots until he reached the last bedroom door, swinging it open. A faint buzzing could be heard, along with desperate breaths just barely grasping at air. Caught between a whine, a moan, and scream, Joel loved it all.
He took a moment to bask in the sight he had left you in: wrists softly but securely bound to the wooden posts, back pressed against the headboard with eyes blind folded. Your legs were spread and bound similarly. The buzzing could be traced to the bullet vibrator buried deep inside your pussy, and a wand taped right at your clit. no matter what tiny movements you made, you were unable to escape the constant assault in your poor pussy. A generous spot of dampened arousal had been steadily gushing from between your legs and onto the silken sheets below you.
This wasn’t unusual, however. Joel had put you in this position, and promptly forgotten about you the whole day, many times before.
The new experiment today that he had tried out… well, the sheer sight of it was making him leak in his tight jeans.
Your swollen nipples were clamped almost painfully by a claw on each tit. The breasts themselves were enormous, full of sloshing milk that hand’t been released in over 12 hours now.
He had sucked your breasts so hard, so frequently, you had started to lactate all on your own. And wanted to be sure they reached their full bursting potential.
“J-Joel,” you whimper with a cry softly. You couldn’t see him, but you could feel the temperature of the hot room change with the breeze of the door open. There was a sudden thrill and fear that patterned your skin, unsure if the man who’d just graced your presence was the one you trusted, or a complete unknown, ready to take advantage of you.
Joel had left you in a vulnerable place. Joel had always told you there were weirdos out there who wouldn’t hesitate to use you. Joel knew how to keep you safe.
“S’me, sugar.” He closed the door behind him, inching closer to the side of the bed. He lets out a low whistle. Your legs shook tirelessly, stomach flexing with each pant. There was a slight curve of your lip twitching even through it all, so happy to have him back after hours of this pleasure-torture.
“I-c-c-c-came—lots,” you stammer, looking towards the side that he was standing.
He pats the soaked covers. “I see that. How many? You count for me like a good girl.”
He switched the vibrator on a higher setting, instantly making you bite your lip and toss your head rather hastily backwards. You let out a quivered cry. “N-no. Lost—mmmmmf!—lost—c-count—“
“I know, baby. Didn’t expect ya to remember.” He rubbed two thick digits along your folds and downwards, careful not to disturb the wand. Jesus, even your pulsing asshole was delectably soaked from your sticky fluids. It wouldn’t take much at all to force his fist into you…
His eyes flickered back up to your breasts.
No, he had more important matters to attend to.
You let out a gasp when Joel finally flicked the bullet and wand vibrators off. your body still continued to convulse with shivers afterwards, body unable to relax.
“Am I —D-done?”
He shook his head. “One last thing f’me. Then I’ll take care of ya.”
You gulped.
He sat on the bed, untying only one of your bound wrists, but not the other.
He very gently cupped the underside of one boob.
“NO!” You thrashed back, the sensitivity of your full breasts shocking you.
“Shhh-shhh it’s okay now, don’t fight it. I gotta let theme breathe.” He goes to touch them again, as carefully as possible.
You let out a whimper, but tried your best to not flinch as hard. They were beyond sore, tight, and inflamed. You had never felt them so heavy in your life, and so unable to relieve. They sat densely, uncomfortably so, against your chest.
You couldn’t even feel the nipples. The clamps had ensured they were squeezed tight enough to prevent any spill of milk. But even as Joel fondled your breasts tenderly, he could start to see a bead of white peaking its head out from their clasped state.
Joel licks his dry lips. It’d been at least two days since he last sucked you dry of milk. Your tits were now twice the size they were when he first found you. He’d intentionally skipped lunch today so he could feat upon your nuturing glow.
“They hurt,” you whine pathetically with a wobbly lip.
He continues to rub the fattened parts, away from your areoles for a bit. your nipples practically pulsed. Red and hardened, piercing out at least a half inch. They were in desperate need of release.
He blows cool air against them, causing you to recoil slightly. It must have felt good, the way your second move was to lean a little closer, pressing your perky boobs closer to his mouth. He blew more air on them, letting you get used to it.
He noticed your one free hand was patiently pressed into the mattress next to you. He guided it around his neck, giving you some leverage to hold on to him.
“Imma take these off of ya now,”he whispers against your skin with a kiss.
You bite back a choked sob, nodding.
He carefully unclasps the clamps one at a time, attentive not to hurt your already puffy nipples. Fuck, the milk was already returning to their streams, your nips practically inflating and pebbling even more heavily with white liquid, ready to burst.
“There,” he grins, admiring his work. “That’s better now, ain’t it?”
You hum, but hesitantly. “They’re still…sore…”
“I know baby. I’m gonna drain them now.” He wrapped your legs around his waist, your damp core instantly soaking his jeans. His hardened bulge insistently pressed against your sensitive mound.
With his forehead aligned to your chest, he stuck his tongue out along your nipple.
“Ah!” You gasped, but the hold he has on your back, with both arms wrapped firmly around your middle, keeps you pinned close as he wraps his lips around your nub.
He hums when that first burst of milk explodes into his mouth. He closed his eyes, almost ready to cum in his pants.
You sighed heavenly above him, relaxing into his touch as he quickly gulped mouthfuls of milk, sucked straight from your achy tit. you could practically feel a heavy weight lifting off your chest, despite the sensitivity. His Adams apple bobbed against your skin.
Your free arm gripped his shoulders a little tighter, bringing him closer to feed. Not that he was letting go.
He pulled off with a generous pop, swallowing the remains in his mouth. “Oh Baby, you taste divine. Look at these perky titties we made…”
With less love than he showed before, he pinched both nipples and tugged, making you yelp while squirts of milks shot out at him. He stuck his tongue out wide with a grimace as it sloppily landed on his mustaches, lips and tongue.
You couldn’t push him off from the torture, with your other wrist jangling uselessly to the bedside still. All you could do was let him have his fun.
Joel kisses your breast again before returning to drinking the other one. It was at least a couple minutes of alternating sucking before he finally spoke again.
“You’re such a good girl f’me. I can’t tell ya how proud of you I am. Ya learned so much since we first started. You remember what a naughty girl you’d been?” He strokes soothingly along your back as he latches back on to your nipple again. You couldn’t see, but his eyes begged up at you.
You nodded. “Y-yes.” You did remember, how much more painful your punishments and practices were before this. You’d been in the same position before, passed out from exhaustion. He and you both knew you were improving.
“Yeah, that’s my sugar. Then we got these milkers all fattened up—“ He hastily slaps the side of one, making you jump with a scream. “—look at that fuckin’ jiggle baby. Tits were made for milkin’.”
He sucked and slapped, watching the red fade with each gentle and harsh treatment. You handnt even realized you were grinding down on his bulge, soaking through to his throbbing cock.
“You gonna cum, baby?” He taunts, thrusting upward so you could feel his need. “Gonna cum while Daddy sucking these big fat titties?”
“Yes—yes-yesyesyes Daddym’gonna-cum!”
“Go on—soak my cock.” He takes a particularly harsh such against a nipple, swallowing its plentiful sweetness before releasing it was a smack. “Make me feel how much you love getting your tits milked by your Daddy.”
Your knees bent around his ass, locking him against you. Hips working of their own accord, and with one arm grasping around his neck, you used his tented boner to get yourself higher. You’d cum more times today than you could possibly count, and yet it still didn’t deter just how needy you’d been all day for his touch.
Joel rips the blindfold off of you. Your eyes are blurry for a moment, but you feel his rough hand grip the back of your neck and center your focus right on to him.
“Look at me when ya cum for me,” he growls. He grits his teeth angrily, rocking your hips back against for against his crotch.
His eyes were dark, blown wide and hungrily chasing both of your orgasms.
“Im gonna cum, daddy,” you warn.
He slaps your tit hard again. “What was that?”
“Gonna cum!”
He slaps the other one, then backhanded. “Say it again. Tell Daddy.”
“I’m—fuck—fuckDaddy I’m gonna cum! GonnacumgonnacumgonnacumcumcumcumCUMCUM!” You babble, eyes getting lost in ecstasy as pleasure builds higher in your system. You’d be floating on the bridge between pleasure and pain all day, and you were finally about to jump off it.
“Cum f’me then, sugar!”
You choke on your breath, forehead clashing with his. Nothing goes through your brain except for blinding hot white, as is the rest of your body following suit. Crescendoing from your core, an outwardly pleasure spread like fire. You finally let out a long needed moan as your orgasm tears open your entire nervous system, turning you inside out, landing safely in Joel’s tight grip.
He keeps his eyes open for as long as possible until he start’s spilling thick and sticky in his pants, grunting like an injured bear. Each delicious pulse measures up to yours as the two of you cling to each other. He refuses to even let his grip soften on you, your breasts smashed against his whiskered jaw, inhaling the scent of milk and your arousal fumigating the room and his senses.
When you both finally catch your breath, there’s very little holding you up against gravity. Joel unlatches your last wrist restraint before letting you fall against him, his back slowly collapsing against the bed with you securely atop him.
He strokes the back of his muscles against your spine, staring up at the ceiling. It’s so quiet aside from the labored breathings that were soon returning to a steady rhythm.
“Joel Miller,” you whisper in his chest, planting a chaste kiss to the vein in his neck.
Nuzzling your temple with his, he listens, patiently.
“I want to stay with you.”
He closes his weary eyes. He doesn’t say anything, at least not for a while. Maybe you’re hoping he won’t.
But he has to.
“S’time for you to go home, sugar.”
- - - -
Taglist:
@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel @fluffygoffpanda @picketniffler @bbyanarchist
#joel miller fan fiction#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#last of us fanfiction#pedro pascal smut#joel miller fic#joel miller x you#ask#joel miller smut#joel miller fan fic#last of us fic#the last of us fic#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fic#tlou fanfiction#tlou smut#last of us smut#the last of us smut#breastfeeding#breastfeeding!Joel#lactating kink
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One last ride, together.
#rdr2#rdr1#red dead redemption 1#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#john marston#morston#arthur/john#morston monday#morstonmonday#my art#happy mm! Today I bring you Pain#hope you enjoy! :)#no but seriously#i dunno something about the symbolism of them both dying like that#i personally get very affected by character deaths in media#and these games made me feel even more real grief than usual#so i get a lot of comfort from thinking of them in an afterlife#or that they're watching over eachother#arthur gave his life so that john could have his but despite it all i dont think he'd be disappointed in him when the time came#he did his best#he just couldn't fight his nature#something something. the billionth dog metaphor#its ok both arthur and john went to doggy heaven <3
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♡ 150 reasons - LN 4 ♡
Summary: 150 reasons why lando loves you
Author's note: idk i thought it'd be nice
CW: literally just fluff
Hi baby!! :D
I saw this trend on tiktok just now and wanted to do it for you. I love you a lot and you know how hard it is for me to show it sometimes. I thought this could be a nice small way to at least show you a bit of how much I love you. My love for you knows no boundaries. <3
P.S. if there’s any misspelings dont say shit cause im dyslexic and you know that :(
Your smile
Your eyes
The way your eyes sparekl all the time
Your rosy cheeks
Your wavy hair (you hate it but u love it)
Your heart
Your brain
Your patience with evrything (including me)
Your honesty
Your inteligence
Your humor
The way you’re always there for anyone. Doesnt mater if u know them well or not
You always listen to people and help them when they need it even if your tired
You challenge me and help me become a better person
You never judge me
You make me feel safe
You believe in me, even when idont
You inspire me everyday whether it’s work related or just life in general
You’ve seen teh good and the bad in me and you still love me
You laugh at all my jokes even if they suck
You’re my best friend (🎶you can hear it in the silence🎶)
You respect my space when i need it, even if i go about it awfully (when writing ‘about it’ i accidentally wrote ‘tit’ :I)
You give the best fucking hugs
When i get anxious, you always help me, even if it’s just when you sit with me and help me breathe
You took the time to learn about me and my mental struggles so that you could help me better
You make life so much more better
You remind me that i’m worth more than i think i do
You chose me
You make me blush and happy
Your music taste is amazing as well (btw i got us tickets to see Noah Kahan)
You’re like my personal google and dictionary
You get along with my family
My mum loves you (i think she loves u more than she loves me ngl)
You get along with max and you mock sometimes and it makes me laugh so much
You stay even if im mean and dont deserve it
You sacrifice a lot
You always put others before you
You don’t mind my gaming (even when i keep you up late with my screaming)
You always listen to me talk about the things i like
You hold my hand in public (it sounds stupid but it makes sense ok so shut it) <3
You never give up on me
You bring out the best in me
Max said he hadn’t seen me so happy until i met you
You make me feel lucky to have u
You support my career and stuff even though it gets really hard sometimes
You make the bad days better
You make everyday better as well, not just the bad ones
You never make me feel bad or ashamed about feeling certain ways
You always validate me when i need it
You never lie to me
You always tell me straight up when im the one in the wrong
The way you smell
The way you look when u see me
The way you hold me tight even if i’ve just raced singapore and am sweating out of every crevise
You stay strong for the both of us
Your attitude
Your kisses
You’re always down to play video games with me (IM SORRY FOR IT TAKES TWO I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS HARD)
The way you call me your love
You stand up for me even when im not deserving of it
Your cooking skills
The way you play with my hair
How we’re able to joke with eachother
The way you tell stories
The way you talk in general
How funny you were when telling me about work and snot shot out of my nose
You match my freak
Your singing (even if its off key sometimes)
You never doubt me
U dont mind my clinginess (sorry about scaring u in the shower the other day as well)
You never tell me to go away
You always communicate with me
You plan things for our future
When you send me vlogs when im away (or even when im home but youre at work)
You make my heart feel full
You’re consistent with loving me. Whether you’re sad or mad or happy or anything, you still love me the same
Youre never too busy for me
The way we can just sit in silence together and do nothing but still have fun
The way you help me pack when im getting ready to travel
The way you pack my favorite snacks for me when im going away for a while
We can share victories together, big or small (lol big or small, ya know, like dicks)
You never make me feel alone
You watch stupid ass movies with me all the time
You dont get mad at me when you try to teach me to play valorant (it’s fucking hard, csgo is better anyways)
The way your face lit up and you started talking faster when you were talking to me about your favorite artist
The way you speak to me so gently when i need it
The way you make a playlist for every mood possible
The way you make a playlist for every book you read, even if the book was bad
How you insist we don’t have enough driving playlists so we always make more
The way you introduce me to new things (i still wont try fish, screw that)
Youre adventurous
You put up with my shananigens
The way you made a million stickers on whatsapp
How you always say ‘i love you’ with the ‘i’
When you tell me goodmorning and goodnight even if youre mad at me
How you help me dress better
How u kiss me in a way that screws me up forever
How you always ask me about my day
How you always put your leg on mine
How you show me how forever feels
How you put up with my stupidity (I REALLY THOUGHT THE MATTRESS WAS GONNA HELP)
You’re gonna be an amazing mum someday
How you spam me with tiktoks
Your laugh is the best sound ive ever heard
Youre beautiful inside and out
How u were able to make me laugh even after i’d poked by hand with a knife when i tried cutting an avocado
How you helped me escape the bed sheet when we discovered my new found claustrophobia
How you always rep mclaren and quadrant merch
How you always make backed goods and make them healthy sometimes so i can still eat them
How when we’re out and you can tell im anxious
And when you realize it you find small ways to ground me like holding my hands or tapping my foot with yours
You love the pictures i put in the new digital frame (you cant lie and say u dont like yassified alonso)
If im hungry in the middle of the night, you join me in snacking or ordering a whole pizza
How you know you’re lactose intolerant but still eat dairy filled foods
And how you lock me out the room when you have to deal with the aftermath of eating dairy
How you're already naming our future children
How you laugh til you cry at 3 in the morning from watching tiktoks
And waking me up to watch them with you
How you get so excited when talking to me about the last book you read
How you tell me about the book theories you hear and your own theories (violet’s mom was definitely venin)
How when u find me snacking in the middle of the night, you don’t question it
How we have dance parties in the living room
How you quote random things all the time, especially tiktok sounds
Your love for musicals
How you say “me and boq” every 5 mins
Your unconditional love for not just me, but everyone
Your love knowing no boundaries
The way you didn’t get scared away when faced with so much hate and shit when we first started dating
Your strength
How you learned the “wait, they dont love you like i love you” thing in different languages
Your high streak on duolingo
Your creativity
Your piano skills
Your love for celsius (although it’s not good for you and you should probably slow down on them :( try coffee instead)
How you and my mum go shopping together all the time
How you’re invited home more than i am…
Your dedication to work
Your work ethic (it’s not the same as the reason above)
Your vast knowledge of everything in Marvel
How you interact with the fans
How you show me off in every way possibel (i might've said this already)
How you help me with quadrant shit
How you give me a room tour anytime youre somewhere new
The light you emit
The way you make everything so much brighter
How you always try to learn new things (we should try tarot reading again, that one was fun and we can scare the shit out of max with it)
The way you never let go no matter what
The way you always give back to people
The way you live everyday like it’s the last
The way you love me and hold onto me
#formula 1#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 writing#f1 x you#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris#norris x reader#mclaren#formula 1 imagine#formula one#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fic#lando norris fluff
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Damn OK this made me actually stop and think about which pieces of my soul I've left where throughout my time on this planet.
I feel like some of them are nice. I left a little of my fear and insecurity in India and Thailand during my travels. I left some of my childhood whimsy in different locations around my old neighbourhood by just hanging out and being weird with my friends. I left some doubts about myself behind in the house where I lived alone for the first time. I left so much trauma and anxiety behind by working on myself in the house I live in now.
But some of them are painful. I left some innocence in France when things happened to me there that shouldn't have during childhood. I left some of my sense of immortality in my home town when my friend died when I was 20. I left the sense of myself that I had at the time in the hospital where my daughter was born. I left some of my goals and ambitions in the city I now live in due to a significant change of circumstance.
This post has hit me a lot deeper than I was ready for it to.
kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc
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Clinging for (Emotional) Support
Prefect needs a bit of a break after a stressful day, so they seek out their favorite person…
Reader is gender neutral, referred to as Prefect or Y/N
Warnings!: The Leech Twins… :)
These are just my headcanons!
Tags: Fluff, romantic or platonic (perceive it whichever way you’d like to), hugs and cuddles, comfort
Heartslabyul; Savanaclaw; Octavinelle (you’re here :3), Scarabia; Pomefiore; Ignihyde; Diasomnia
Intro:
You’ve had a bad day, well, a worse one than usual, and you feel like you’re on the verge of crashing out. So, you go to one of your favorite people and you cling to them for some emotional support, not doing anything else besides holding on for dear life and nuzzling your face into their chest or shoulder, not providing one bit of information as to why you’re even doing this. But, don’t worry, they care for you a lot, maybe more so than they let on <3
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Riddle 🌹:
He doesn’t take to well to it at first
When you come to him looking all stressed out, he’ll obviously offer you some support and offer to talk with him about whatever is bothering you, but when you shake your head and instead wrap your arms around him and burry your face in wherever it can reach, he freezes up
“Prefect! Why are you doing this? Th-this is unacceptable! This is improper!”
He’ll turn bright red, not out of anger but out of embarrassment of the whole situation
He still won’t be totally used to it even when you keep it up, genuinely confused as to why you chose him out of all people and more importantly, keep coming back to him, but he won’t admit to it, it also helps him calm down too when you hold on
On rare occasions when he’s not too busy with other things and you two are in a more secluded place, he’ll hug you back
“Agh- again, Prefect? A little warning next time before you get all handsy with me…are you alright, though? Don’t be stressed, you’re as lovely as a rose, don’t begin to wilt simply because of a setback.”
Trey ♣️:
People rely on him, yes, but you’ve brought it to a whole new level here, like, you’re physically leaning on him now
At first he just laughs out of being surprised, but when he sees you hugging him tighter, your brows furrowed in clear stress, he’ll stop and ask what’s going on
“Hah! What’s this— oh…hey, look at me, are you ok? Do you want a sweet treat?”
He’ll wrap his arms back around you without a second thought, gently rubbing your back as well to add that extra boost of comfort
He has younger siblings so of course he’s well off in a situation like this, basically second nature at this point for him
If he’s baking, he may not have time for you to cling to him like you’d want, so he’ll apologize when he’s done with one of the baked goods and by letting you stick by him as long as you want, but he’ll try and make the time for you always
“Prefect…it’ll be alright. Want a tart? They’re freshly made, as always…anything to help you feel better.”
Cater ♦️:
Heyyy! There you are! Oh…why are you looking at him like that…that’s not good, you don’t look to good, emotionally wise…
As soon as you wrap your arms around him he’ll tense up. He’ll awkwardly look down at you and quirk an eyebrow
He’s no stranger to the emotions of people around him so he can tell something is up fairly quickly with the people close around him
“What’s wrong? Do you need Cay-kun to come to the rescue— no jokes…ok, gotcha. Spill it, Prefect, what’s the matter?”
He’s gentle about it, this type of support he learned from his sisters
He’ll lead you off to a more quieter place and just chill out with you until you either tell him what’s wrong or let go of him
He’ll try and cheer you up with taking pictures with funny filters on, if that doesn’t work, he has other methods. Maybe see what’s the spiciest thing he can eat? If you laugh at him tearing and snotting up from it, it’s worth the pain
“Ahhh, what am I gonna do with you? Wanna see Cay-Kun looking all stupid with this filter? Did you smile finally? Aweee, you’re adorbs, Prefect, smile again for me, I need to celebrate you feeling better with a post on my page!”
Ace ❤️:
He’ll try and push you off at first, he didn’t exactly see your expression so he’ll try and pry your arms off of him, huffing while doing so
Like why are you clinging to him? Hello? Earth to Prefect, get off of him now!
once he realizes there’s something up he’ll stop with trying to push you away and he’ll go quiet, awkwardly standing there and mumbling before he finally asks if something’s up
“Aye! What’s this? Get off of meeeeeee, Prefect, let go, why are you doing this— oh…um…so…are you…ok?”
He’s going to try and tease you at first, it’s an Ace thing, so don’t take it to heart, but if you won’t let up he’ll try and be a little more considerate
He’ll pat your back in an unsure manner, not quite knowing what to do, but when you don’t ease up, he decides maybe it’s best to take some action
If you want to see some magic tricks to cheer you up he’ll do it, but you gotta let go— no? Ok…he can do something else to make you better then
Reassuring words are rare from him, but he cares a lot for you, so he’ll spare a few
“Hey, it’ll be alright. Whatever happened just know I’m always here, even if I may seem like an ass half the time— ok…of course I can be honest about myself from time to time. Oh hushhhhh…I’ve got you, I just want you to be happy, smile again, looks better on you.”
Deuce ♠️:
Cue confused noises coming from him, he won’t exactly question what you’re doing, but he will he going through a whole bunch of different scenarios through his head as to why you are doing this
When he sees you’re not your normal self, the lightbulb will go off in his head and he’ll ask how you’re doing
“Uh…prefect? Are you alright? Talk to me here, what’s up? Are you hurt? No? Answer me here…”
He’ll hug you back, albeit tentatively as hell, but he doesn’t want to do anything wrong and he doesn’t want to do something that’ll upset you more, which him not doing anything might actually upset you more— anyways
He’ll keep talking to you to try and get you to rant about whatever you’re finding particularly stressful at the moment. And no, he totally won’t threaten anybody if that’s the cause of your stress, don’t think like that—
“You sure you’re ok? You’re stressed because…of a person? Prefect, I can handle them— ok, never mind. Sorry…I’ll stay right here, don’t worry. By your side as long as you want me to be. Protecting you as long as you need me to…I’ll stop being cringey…”
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Leona 🦁:
Glares at you because you’re in his personal space, like what are you doing?
He can sense something is off though, it’s not that hard to tell when you wrap your arms around him and cling on for dear life like he’s gonna slip away at any moment
He’ll make a small huff and his tail will flick a few times before he asks what’s up
“Herbivore…what’s this for? Never thought you were this bold to be glued to a predator like this…not in a laughing mood, huh? Tell me what’s wrong, then get off me, I’m trying to sleep…”
Sorry not sorry, but everyone knows Leona is a dick most times, just a given fact, but in all honesty, when it comes do you he does care, even though his words sound lacking of it, he only means good
He won’t push you off, he’ll let you stick to him…actually, you know what, why not just stay with him and take a nap? I think it’d better the both of you, and you’d have time to wind down while also being with him
Few words are shared between you, but you have a cuddly lion now, so…there’s that
Win win, no?
“Mmm, no, you don’t have to go…just stay here. I’m not a complete ass, I know when someone needs a little help. Relax…no literally relax you’re moving around too much, Herbivore…”
Ruggie 💰:
Boy is he confused
Honestly, at first, bro thought he was getting robbed by someone, but when he seen it was you, he got all happy and started teasing you like normal
Then when he watches you burry your face into his clothes he knows something is not right. He’s…worried but doesn’t really know how to convey it
“Hey! Oh, prefect! Miss me that much? Shyeheehee!! Hmmm? Heyyy, what’s up with that look? Huh?”
Now he’ll try and cheer you up
His methods are a little quirky, but he’ll offer to buy you something with Leona’s money, let me rephrase, get you both something to snack on with Leona’s money
You can still chill with him, he enjoys it
“Leona’s asleep, I can go snag his wallet and I can score us something at Sam’s shop…I’ll buy the more expensive one this time I guess if it’ll cheer you up…don’t make me use Laugh with Me on you just to see you smile again— Shyeheehee! I’m messing with ya!”
Jack 🐺:
Stiffens up quite quickly. He’ll look down at you and wonder what the hell you’re trying to do but then he’ll realize that you’re not exactly at your best in this moment, he can basically feel it radiating off of you
His ears will flatten against his head, betraying how he feels almost right away.
His words are simple and few, but he does mean well and has good intentions
“What’s wrong? Why are you…so are you ok? No? Ok…can I do something to help?”
He likes to help those he holds close to him, so of course he’ll try and comfort you to the best of his abilities. You want to pet his tail? That may be a little too far—
Fine…he can let you, just this once, but if anyone sees it’s over!
“Prefect…how can I help cheer you up? I don’t think my tail is a great option…it is? I…fine, just this once I guess, if it’ll help cheer you up.”
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Azul 🐙:
This is…not what he intended to happen upon seeing you, yea, no…he already has Floyd to worry about now apparently you? Yea…he stiffens up and kinda just stands there, sputtering nonsense, and then trying to push you off of him
He’ll finally take the hint when you just hug him tighter after he fails to get you off. He still won’t calm down that much
Might try and pull the business move on you, especially since you’re in such an emotionally weakened state…he won’t he would
“Prefect! I— what is— no! Hey— you…what…I don’t condone this! You’re…not ok. What do you expect me to do? Wait…actually, why don’t you come back to my office and we can discuss what I could do to assuage your ailments— no then…”
He’s kinda flattered you chose him, but it’s not like he’s really…great at comforting, he’ll try his best. You’ll have to pay him back for it later on your own time
He’ll try and talk to you about it, I don’t really see him trying to touch you or comfort you in any other way. To him, words can go a long way to help someone
“You’re in need, and that’s what our dorm specializes in the best. Can you talk about what is bothering you? I won’t use it against you…I promise. I’m not that bad. Talk to me, it’ll help clear your mind”
(Be careful, blackmail is a good thing to have, he might use whatever you say against you…)
Jade 🫧:
He’ll eerily smile at you at first, he stated he gets overheated easily so…hugs are not really preferred, but he’ll entertain you
He’s not exactly confused, rather intrigued by the whole thing. Why are you clinging to him? Exactly, why him? It’s rather interesting, and almost pathetic in his eyes, but it makes the situation all the more sweet, in his own twisted way
He’ll notice you’re out of it and gently put one hand on the small of your back, that’s the furthest he’ll go
“Oya? Hmmm…fu fu fu, this is quite interesting, no? What is it you need, Prefect? You know the motto of our dorm. I’m willing to assist in whatever you’d need…”
Like I’ve mentioned before…he likes to be relied on. So he kinda likes the situation. He’ll stay with you as long as time permits him. His smile is…far from his normal polite one.
“Prefect? You may talk to me about whatever is troubling you, but I know some humans prefer not to. You can stay by me as long as you need, but just know I may have to get to work soon. For now, however, my time is yours…”
(Y’ALL WHAT DID U EXPECT ME TO SAY, THE TWINS, as much as I love my babies 😭, THEY ARE FAR FROM INNOCENT)
Floyd 🫧:
Oh boy…
Well, here’s the thing, Floyd loves to squeeze people, but the other way around? He doesn’t prefer it…but you are his Shrimpy, so he’ll give you a pass…maybe, depending on his mood
He’ll look at you and laugh. Damn you look almost desperate. He lets you cling to him for a bit before he squeezes you back. Maybe you needed one of his “hugs” anyways…let’s just say he’s in a good mood this time
“Heh! Shrimpy…what are you doing? Oh? You seem sad…don’t be sad Shrimpy~! I can squeeze ya back too! See?”
He’s all over you, hugging, squeezing, nuzzling his face against yours. He’s all giggles, his Shrimpy is squeezing him first. It’s funny! It’s like you’re challenging him or something…
You never fail to cause trouble or stir fun around him, so he’ll stick around for a bit until it gets boring for him. Which in all honesty, it won’t.
Never boring with you around!
“Shrimpy! Aweee, cheer up! I’ll just squeeze ya harder, yea? If it helps ya feel better I will…just don’t squeeze me back too hard, you might hurt me…”
I fear my favoritism for Octavinelle always shines through…<3
Master List
Please don’t steal or copy any of my work! You may, however, reblog if you’d want to!
Pictures belong to Disney Twisted Wonderland but are edited by me :)
#twisted wonderland#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#heartslabyul#heartslaybul x reader#riddle rosehearts#trey clover#cater diamond#ace trappola#deuce spade#savannaclaw#savannaclaw x reader#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#octavinelle#octavinelle x reader#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech#headcanon#fluff#romantic or platonic#<3
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MC Twin AU - CALEB'S Spitfire [3]
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Caleb kisses like a god.
His hands wrap around your waist firmly as his lips slide against your own, his tongue forces itself into your mouth making you blush heavily but moan softly.
Holy shit this man was wonderful at kissing! Though you couldn't help but feel a flare of jealousy rise up at the thought of him kissing other people. So you ask him, and he laughs with pure amusement. "Don't worry spitfire. You're my first and only."
If someone asks if your heart had started to beat faster at his words, you would push them into traffic.
When your sister had found out about your relationship, she had sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I owe Zayne so much money now."
"You betted against me!??"
"Well duh. Caleb literally liked, no, adored you! The only person who couldn't see it was you!"
You stared at her with confusion, nervously fiddling with your hands. "But. . . . . Aren't you mad? I thought you liked Caleb?"
A gentle smile bloomed on your sister's face and she leaned against you body, placing her head on your shoulder. "Caleb is my best friend. Nothing more alright? I'm really happy for you two! But...."
You freeze. "But what...?"
"If he hurts you and makes you cry. Best friend or not I will push him into incoming traffic."
A startled laugh escapes your lips. "Are you stealing my threats?"
MC shrugged. "They work perfectly fine."
"Make your own threats! Only I can push people into traffic!"
"Nuh uh."
"Yah uh!"
As days went by and Caleb continued to shower you with affection, and MC continued to giggle and tease the two of you, your guards began to slowly break and crumble down. Ok, you weren't the MC, but he still liked you! That was. . . . .that was amazing!
Every now and then you couldn't help but break out into giggles at the reminder that Caleb liked you. Not her, but you.
She could keep the other men, you wanted your red flag boyfriend!
Though, it might not just be him that's a red flag. You might be one as well? Did that bother you? A bit yes, but Caleb seemed to enjoy it a lot.
It happened on a typical winter day, the cold air making you shiver as you walked side by side with Caleb, who finally got some time off to visit you. He quickly wrapped his arms around your shoulder and dragged you closer to his warm body, making you smile. "You cold spitfire?"
"I hate winter." You mumble, pouting when you felt his chuckle. "Stop laughing at me or I won't kiss you ever again!"
"Oh nooo, can you ever forgive me?" He places a kiss on your forehead, and your face grows hot. "Look, we're at the cafe now. Let's head in and get you something warm." He guides you towards Destiny Cafe (when you realized the name, you had begun to cackle like a madwoman. So Destiny Cafe existed here and wasn't just a game mechanic!) and pushed the door open, the warm air making you let out a sigh of relief. "Good yeah?"
"Hmmmmm..." You hum, allowing him to guide your body to a seat. He ruffles your hair and sits across you, placing his chin on his palm as he gazes at you with so much affection that your face heats up even more. "What? What's on my face?"
"Beauty." He murmurs, and you squeak. "Pure beauty-"
"Hi! Welcome to Destiny Cafe! May I take your order?"
The moment is ruined by a high perky voice, and you turn your gaze to stare at a young girl with a huge smile on her face. She stares and Caleb and tucks some of her hair behind her ear, fluttering her eyebrows at him. "I'll be your server today, my name is May. So, may I take your order?"
Caleb turns to meet your gaze. "What would you like spitfire?"
You meet May's annoyed gaze head on and a small satisfied smirk forms on your lips. "Just some hot chocolate, that's all."
"I'll have the same." Caleb looks at May making her bloom. "Of course! I'll be right back!" She smiles at him and walks away, and your eyes catch the way her hips swayed with her movement, making your eye twitch.
When she finally is gone from your sight, you turn your gaze to Caleb and get up, pushing him to the edge of the booth so you could sit next to him. You drag him down by the back of his head into a kiss, and bite down on his lip, smiling when a bit of blood hits your taste buds. You know you shouldn't be jealous, Caleb had said time and time again that he liked you. But. . . . but you couldn't just help yourself.
"S-Spitfire-"
You snap back to reality and push him away, your face red. "Oh my goodness I'm so sorry! Did I bite you too hard!? Holy shit I don't know what got over me!"
You watch as he uses his thumb to wipe away some of the blood away from his lips, a smile on his face. "It's fine it's fine! In fact, I enjoyed it very much."
. . . . . Was he a masochist or something!?
You shouldn't be surprised though, this was Caleb you were talking about. Still, you dart you gaze away and mumble out a "Sorry..."
A hand cups your cheeks, and Caleb lifts your head to stare at him. "I said it's fine spitfire, really!" He leans down to kiss you himself, and your cheeks heat up as one of his hands moves down to slip underneath your skirt. The only reason why the two of you part away is because you hear footsteps come towards your booth. Still, you make sure you place a small kiss on your neck, your lipstick leaving a stain very visible on his skin.
You watch as May glances at your flushed faces, and at the lipstick mark on Caleb's neck, and your heart thrums with pride at the small scowl that she wasn't quick enough to wipe away. "Here are your drinks, enjoy yourself!" She says, then rushes away.
As the two of you eventually leave the cafe, you notice that Caleb wasn't wearing his scarf anymore. "Aren't you cold Mr Pilot?" You question, raising a brow at him as you walk together hand in hand.
He gives you a smirk and point at the lipstick stain. "I want everyone to see this. To show who my girlfriend is."
Your face heats up again, and you jerk your head away. Still, a small smile forms on your lips at his words. Oh goodness, you weren't going to let this boy leave.
Even when he fakes his death and becomes Colonel, you would find him and keep him by your side.
Many. . . . Ok only a few months to be honest, pass by, and the infamous explosion happens. You move in with MC finally, mainly to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid, and mainly because even when you knew he was alive, you missed Caleb, and she was the only one who understood your pain.
You stared at your phone every day, hoping that he would send an impromptu text, a 'Hey spitfire! I'm alive! Come find me :D'
But nothing. Nothing pops up.
One day after work though, you stroll around the city in the dark, one headphone in your ear and your phone in your hand. A sudden notification freezes you, and after a few seconds of silence, you rush to follow it's instructions.
"Spitfire, five blocks ahead of you, there's a black car with the license plate 367 LKN. Get in, and when you arrive at the airport, I'll be there waiting for you. Don't be late.
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Taglist! - @sleepydang @junrui @animecrazy76 @reni502
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
#love and deepspace#lads#love and deepspace caleb#lnds#lads caleb#lnds caleb#caleb x you#caleb#caleb lnds#caleb love and deepspace#caleb lads#caleb l&ds
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i dont know why im doing this, but
hi, my name is rin.
you might know me already, seen me in passing, hate me or know nothing about me.
you may also know me as batman, or ria, or ren or even sometimes raf.
i like a lot of stuff, like music and poetry and writing.
I love my partner. a lot
i do some sports, like archery and rock climbing, but thats not really my thing. i also write songs, play flute and ukulele.
i like math, and design, i enjoy reading and writing essays, i got gifted kid burnout but i love doing stuff too much to stop.
sometimes, i feel rather old. but im just a kid in this fucked up world and sometimes that makes me sad.
im depressed, and have anxiety, and a slew of mental health issues. i'm also probably neurodivergent.
im not very normal, in a lot of regards, but i think that adds to my character.
im trans, specifically genderfluid, but im getting to a stage where im starting to not give a shit.
im aroace, aroflux technically. but as far as im concerned i like my partner and i dont really know what else.
i do a lot of stuff, i consume a lot of media, you will never catch me lacking cus im really chronically online and just a little bit insane.
my birthday is soon, which i suppose is why im writing this, but i thought i should reintroduce myself to me. as i age i've managed to be the same person, in a lot of different ways. i dont always recognize the person in the mirror, but i think thats ok.
i hope its ok.
and ive come to realize maybe i dont need to be fixed. im definitely not normal but i've never wanted to be either.
id like to be someone who does cool shit, and someone who makes and advocates and does what i love. but normality is simply not for me and i really rather be a crazy bitch in the middle of the woods than a normal bitch in the suburbs.
so yeah, i'm rin, welcome or welcome back to my shitshow of a brain.
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Answering all of these because I have truly nothing to hide!
1. What are 4 tabs you have open on your browser right now?
swim team membership page, one of my own fanfics on ao3, my ao3 bookmarks, my dining hall’s daily menu
2. Have you ever thought about seriously harming someone?
Yes, my abusers:) and also because of intrusive thoughts and those being super horrible bc of certain traumas
3. How are you feeling emotionally right now?
Pretty damn good. I feel lucky, where I’m in college rn is pretty quiet and I feel like I’m in a bubble and privileged enough to not be dealing personally with the backlash of trumps administration here but I do my best to spread info around for those who need it
4. What type of place(like building) are you in right now?
My college dorm room / dorm building
5. Does anyone know your deepest, darkest secret?
Well no, not yet at least. There are some things in the past that are so fucked up we’d just rather go to the grave with it but we may get the courage to tell our therapist these things
6. Have you ever tried to feign mental illness for personal gain?
Thank God no, you heard it here first we haven’t ever done that
7. Do you have any enemies?
Donald trump, my abusers, and the American healthcare system that personally failed me <3
8. Do you have people you only pretend to like?
Absolutely not?? The people who pretend to like others are fake as fuck I’m sorry (not including people who are genuinely unlikable re: terrible people). I’ve been the victim of this several times and it hurts very much so don’t be that kind of person, be genuine in your connections or else you won’t wake up tomorrow:))
9. What is one item you never let anyone look at or in?
The one sex toy I have . Prettyyy self explanatory
10. Do you have any talents people say you have but you don’t actually have?
My dad likes my singing and I never believed I had the potential to be a singer or be in a choir (I thought my singing sounded horrible) but now I am and my choir teacher has been very encouraging I love her!! My singing has already gotten a lot better
11. Something you like that apparently other people don’t like?
Cats. A lot of people I used to know, key word used to were avid cat haters and I was not here for that
12. Are you a virgin?
Somewhat unfortunately. I say that cuz sex would be great but we have sexual trauma so go figure
13. Is there anyone your grandma would hate that you’re subscribed to on YouTube?
Yes, Tommyinnit cuz he swears quite a bit, and DanandPhilGames because both are out queer men who live together and she’s homophobic and conservative
14. Introvert or extrovert?
Bruh I mean I’m autistic so introvert I guess but i prefer to be alone unless I’m with my bestie
15. Most used app on my device?
Chrome because use it to read ao3
16. How much fanfiction have you actually read?
Good question! I don’t know! But I’ve been on that site for 4 years and have let’s see 81 pages of ao3 history
17. Worst Fears?
Deep water, touch (in some instances), dying alone, dying unmarried, heights (I say as if I’m not a rock climber and also want to go bungee jumping but it’s ok I’m an adrenaline junkie so the fear and potential adrenaline cancel out)
18. Biggest mistake you’ve ever made?
Trusting certain people in my past 👍🏻
19. Worst lie you’ve ever told?
When my brother was stalking me online for years and found out that my therapist and I thought I had DID at the time (diff therapist, now diagnosed with DID with specialist) and I lied to his face (that I didn’t have DID) for my own safety
20. Do you consider yourself a trustworthy person?
Pretty much yeah I’m not good with like positive secrets (like a surprise party, I’d just get too excited and want to tell the person yk!!) but if anyone ever tells me deep dark stuff and I’m told to keep it a secret (as long as they’re not in danger/a danger to themselves) then yeah I’ll take that shit to my grave nobody’s gonna know
“I have nothing to hide” Asks
(For those daring enough to reblog)
1. What are 4 tabs that you have open on your browser right now?
2. Have you ever thought about seriously harming someone?
3. How are you feeling emotionally right now?
4. What type of place(Like building) are you in right now?
5. Does anyone know your deepest, darkest secret?
6. Have you ever tried to feign mental illness for personal gain?
7. Do you have any enemies?
8. Do you have any people you only pretend to like?
9. What is one item that you never let anyone besides yourself look at or in?
10. Do you have any talents that people say you have but you don’t believe you actually have?
11. Something you like that other people generally do not like?
12. Are you a Virgin?
13. Is there anyone that your grandma would hate that you are subscribed to on youtube?
14. Introvert or extrovert?
15. What is the most used application on your device?
16. How much fan fiction have you actually read?
17. Worst Fears?
18. Biggest mistake you’ve ever made?
19. Worst lie you’ve ever told?
20. Do you consider yourself a trustworthy person?
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I see people say “i don’t understand he/him lesbians but thats ok cuz i don’t have to understand it” (and u can replace that w any other identity) but to be fuckin honest these comments still bother me & I think its still like. a micro aggression. because yes its good to acknowledge that you don’t have to understand things to be ok with them. but I Do think verbalizing that in a lot of contexts is like…well the underlying message is still “you confuse me and I feel the need to signal that.”
I don’t think it feels nice to be told “I don’t understand you” especially because these statements aren’t seeking to understand further, theyre just kinda putting up a wall and walking away. and more of a personal reason it bothers me is that like…it’s not hard to understand at all. The jenga tower of assumptions about gender and sexuality and pronouns one must have to find the concept of he/him lesbians so impenetrable that they just resign to nonunderstanding just pisses me off, lol. (and OF COURSE that does depend on who its coming from, but i really do see it come from other english speaking queer ppl a lot which is. baffling).
Like I said, i just don’t think it feels nice to be told over and over and over and over again that people don’t understand you and expecting a pat on the back for it. So maybe like, try? or keep it to yourself if you don’t actually want to understand further.
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just a little something for Tommy Kinard Appreciation Day and @peppermintquartz <3
A few weeks after they get back together, Tommy comes over to the loft for dinner. It's nothing fancy, no special occasion – Evan's got a new roasted chicken recipe and they both have the night off, so Tommy shows up around 6:00 with a bottle of wine and a slightly nicer-than-average shirt.
He's rummaging around in a kitchen drawer, looking for some matches or something to light the candles on the dining table, when he finds the notebook. It's one of those composition books with the classic black and white cover, the miniature version, a little beat up. He probably shouldn't read it – scratch that, he definitely shouldn't read it – but.
It's labeled with his name.
Tommy, right on the cover, in Evan's handwriting.
He glances over his shoulder. Evan has his back turned, fussing with the salad dressing and not particularly paying attention, so Tommy palms the little notebook and wanders over to the living room to open it.
The first page has a single sentence: Things I Miss about him. After that it turns into a list.
His eyes
the way his face scrunches up when he smiles for real
his hands
His ass! And his dick!!!
I feel like I shouldnt write that but it's true!!
Tommy swallows hard. Evan's handwriting is kind of uneven and hard to read, and his spelling and punctuation aren't the best – but it's undoubtedly a list, all lined up with neat little bullet points, of the things he'd missed about Tommy while they'd been apart.
His hugs
especialy the way he used to press our cheeks together and hang on just a little longer then I was expecting him too
He's such a good firefighter and so expereinced, I always felt like I couldve learned alot from him
the competency in general... hes so good at so many things!
he could be so bitchy/sarcastic but he's actually so kind. Like his jokes were never mean
Really good with kids
he would be an amazing dad someday
The last item is barely legible, thoroughly scratched out, as though Evan had thought twice about it the moment he'd written it down. Tommy feels tears prick behind his eyes. Evan would make a fantastic father, he thinks. They haven't really talked about it – marriage, kids, the whole nine yards. Before, it had been too early, and now that they're together again... it still feels too new, too raw, to bring it up. But Evan's the first person who's ever made Tommy want to have that conversation. He flips to the next page.
I don't want it to sound like I was only with him for sex but god I miss his body so much
Tommy snorts. He's so absorbed he doesn't hear Evan call out from the kitchen.
"What was that, babe?"
He took such good care of me. like when I hurt my shoulder but also just in general. He checked in with me alot and always made sure I was ok
really good listener
Did I take care of him enough? did I listen to him enough?
I think maybe I didn't
"Hey, Tommy, did you – oh," Evan says, poking his head around the stairs. "Uh. You found that."
"I'm sorry," Tommy says immediately. "I shouldn't have looked at it, I just – it had my name on it," he finishes lamely.
"It's okay," Evan says, coming to sit next to him on the couch. "It's just a little embarrassing. I didn't really know what to do with myself, I had a lot to say and, uh, people got kind of sick of me talking about you after a while. So I started writing it down. I kind of forgot it was still floating around."
The thing is, over the past couple of weeks they've talked about those last two items on the list. Tommy's been honest about the fact that he'd felt, at times, that he was being more careful with Evan than Evan was being with him. About the fact that he'd been okay with that, until he wasn't; that he'd been okay in the role of fun, sexy first boyfriend, until he realized that not only were he and Evan not on the same page, they weren't even reading the same book.
It's different to see the words written out so plainly. But they're on the same page now. They're walking into the same future, hand in hand.
Tommy sets the little notebook aside and laces his fingers together with Evan's.
"I love you a lot, you know," he says. It's not the first time he's said it, but it still feels so special it's a little unreal.
"I love you, too," Evan says instantly, beaming, eyes twinkling.
#bucktommy#my writing#tommy kinard appreciation day#911 abc#it's still 2/17 in my time zone!#and yes this is also a list of things I miss about Tommy Kinard#me and Buck are on the same page
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I was just gonna put this in the tags but I think this might be better just to put it in the main text. For anyone else who is struggling with current events in the States, here is some advice that's helped me out a lot.
first of all, stop using Twitter/X like full stop. you are quite literally only getting negative information from there, which is what Musk wants, and it's not helpful. Things are pretty bad, but it's not as bad as you think. We haven't lost. There are so many organizations doing a lot of work right now. I highly recommend checking out lawyers and organizations that are fighting against Trump/Elon's policies.
The ACLU is my favorite, it's a great place to start. check out the national ACLU along with your local one. they hold lots of events and information that are very helpful. Make sure you are not only getting negative information!
If you have one. I also recommend local pride organizations as well. research what's local to you! get connected and involved. if there is a specific policy you are most concerned about. I guarantee an org or lawsuit is fighting against it. go find it!
Remember they want you to feel depressed and scared and hopeless! there's a reason why they're doing this all at once. not to say you should feel bad if you feel those things of course. it's valid and okay! just know you don't have to feel that way. the reason so much is coming out so quickly is to overwhelm- so people cannot focus on a singular order, when there are so many of them.
it's going to be ok, but it's going to be different.
“The reason we face the worst is not to fall into despair. the reason we face the worst is because it helps us imagine the best," A quote from A.R Moxon's “The Worst and the Dimmest” article. highly recommend you give that a read as well.
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Feeling rough lately.
#hope im not like derailing or anything but like. I've been there and I think we all have/are#just got out of a really mentally bad time myself and I wanna help others get out of one too#so like. I know how much it sucks and it's how really hard to get out of#and just general depression advice like pls go see ur doctor if you are feeling depressed and experiencing symptoms like...#...abnormal weight gain/loss. difficulty sleeping. suicidal/thoughts etc. getting proper medication wont fix it but like god does it help#also I know this sometimes is easier said than done but. going on walks and getting sun like actually helps like. a lot#take small steps. take like five minutes to walk around your street. I promise you it helps way more than you think#politics#us politics
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Fashion Nova. Luigi Mangione x Fashionista! Reader HCs
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Ok so this is my first headcanons post on this acc.
Starting off strong, because you are so interested in fashion, I could see you being some sort of sub-genre of alternative. REMINDER!! Alternative does not equal emo lol. Alternative is literally any style other than the norm, which is why its called ‘alternative.’ This includes Twee, goth, mcbling, gyaru, hoochie mama, renaissance core, etc etc. I can really see Luigi loving an alternative fashion partner.
You more than likely met Luigi through a friend of a friend! When he first met you he was so intrigued by your style. If you lean more unconventional/haute/camp, he’s so intrigued by your styling methods. It’s a lot, but somehow together it all makes sense! If you lean more conventional/simplistic, he’s in awe with how you make simple accessories stand out.
One thing, however, he’s a little intimidated by you. Toxic trait incoming lol but he didn’t really like to stand next to you for too long because it makes him feel inferior a little. He’s not insecure about what he wears, but you looking so good in contrast to him, it keeps him on his toes a bit.
My favorite topic is coming up again! Psychology. When you feel intimidated by someone, you tend to try and adopt little pieces of their traits in an effort to feel more confident or gain approval. This is called identification!
And I imagine this is way before you start dating, too. So you’ll gradually begin to notice Luigi dressing a little bit better. You say you hate skinny jeans? He doesn’t even remember when he threw his out. You mention a niche aesthetic? He’s looking into it two weeks later without realizing. You mention your favorite fashion trend of the decades? He’s suddenly very interested in this topic a little bit later.
When you start getting closer, you start talking more and more about how you shop. He really enjoys listening to you ramble about how you found your style and what fashion school was like (if you went).
You probably taught him about color theory, how to style certain items of clothing, all about silhouettes and frames, etc etc.
He realizes a little later that you REALLY know your shit, and starts facetiming you when he gets something new or wants your opinion on an accessory/thing he wants to buy.
Cue the “I got these new jeans, but I have no idea what to do with them…” “What do you think would look good with this shirt?” “Can you help me get ready for this event I'm going to? Please?
Now when you start dating, he just completely lets you take over in dressing him. He’s been flamed in the past for his dogshit outfit skills, but he also likes when you try out various aesthetics/styles on him.
His favorite, BY FAR, was old money (which IS ALTERNATIVE, CHAT.) or model off-duty for himself. He’s never been one to care about what he wears too much on regular days, but he’s noticed a difference in how he feels and looks when he’s styled just right every day.
One of his favorite things that you do is adjust his collar, nitpick at his tie, position his rings, give him some glasses, etc etc.
Every time he reaches for that Bali shirt or monochrome adidas hoodie, you have to grab his hand and tell him no more.
Bonus points if you know how to sew. His zipper broke? His darling girlfriend can repair it! Rip in a sleeve? Never fear, his woman is here.
He loves shopping with you now! You’ll go to the mall, the bins, second-hand stores, etc etc. He likes taking you with him especially because you see so so much potential in the most mundane/crazy looking pieces ever.
He loves going to Victoria’s Secret with you istg. He’s a little shy/embarrassed cuz we need to be honest, what man isn’t, but he loves seeing you light up over all the pretty bras and accessories.
On the topic of accessories, sometimes you share! It’s taken hella convincing, but sometimes he’ll wear a very casual and small hair clip if he’s behind on a haircut. Courtesy of you!
He loves his lil fashionista she’s literally saved his ass from so many ugly ass outfits !!
#luigi mangione thoughts#luigi mangione x reader#luigi mangione x you#luigi mangione fanfiction#luigi mangione fanfic#luigi mangione headcanons#luigi mangione x y/n
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If you're comfortable, could you give more details on how you lost weight? Im around the same weight and would love any tips you or any followers have.
Absolutely! Glad you asked because I have a lot to say on the matter. I’ve been very thin my whole life (I was 5’ 9 when I was like 10) but when I entered my twenties a lot of traumatic things happened in my life that I won’t go into but I am 100% sure they were a reason to the quick weight gain. Looking back on it I am sure that I as a result was very destructive with my drinking and eating. And I have Depersonalization disorder (DPD) so I didn’t “see” me go from like 60 kilos to 130. The day I had to stop to catch my breath after a short hill was the day it truly clicked for me that something’s wrong, so I weighed myself and it said 136 kilos (around 300 pounds). That day I said OK, this has to change on a radical scale! So I got real militant with changing what I eat. I dropped bread entirely. So I started eating ‘knekkebrød (google translate says it’s ‘crispbread’ lol idk) w/o butter, and I stopped drinking, started eating healthy and wrote everything down using a calorie counter.
Diets are not the way to go. You just gain weight when you get of it. You have to start eating in a way u feel you can continue eating in the long run!
I didn’t goto the gym a single day during this (I don’t recommend that tho cus I wish I did it. I think it would’ve helped with excess skin. I’ve started working out now tho and I love it. It’s for strength and better mental health not really weight loss.
But yeah. Nutrition is where it’s at. And why are people so anti cheese? lol. I’m a major cheese girl so I asked a nutritionist about it and she said it’s no problem. It has calcium and protein after all. I know it’s best to eat small portions throughout the day. It’s a myth that eating many times during the day is somehow bad, it’s the very opposite as it helps boost your metabolism, which in turn helps you loose weight, so if it you eat smaller portions 5-7 times a day, that’s apparently the best (adjust it to your life tho). That’s what I did
You have to burn more calories than you gain. That’s the whole about weight loss!
The interesting thing, to me at least, is that I was at my healthiest when I was deemed ‘sickly obese’. The reason I know that is because I had a problem with my body (won’t do into detail but it had nothing to do with weight, and so I had bloodwork etc etc done for months and they came back as healthy as all hell .
That has always been really interesting to me. That when I was deemed “sickly obese” my body was the healthiest it’s ever been. Oh well.. just wanted to share that.
try not to get too fixated on the weight tho. it’s how you feel that’s actually important!
Let me know if there’s anything else ur wondering about ;) hope this helped a little 😌❤️
#ask#weight loss#sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes#I’m on the buss just talking about my weight gain and loss#oh well#nothing wrong with that#it’s a human experience#and hello to stretch marks haha#I’m the stretch mark queen!#(was gonna write SM queen for short but uhm…that doesn’t quite work)#long post#text
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Important! Treat kids like people! I’m an educator and it’s amazing how receptive kids are to listening to reason and changing their behaviour, or at least trying to, if you pull them aside - instead of embarrassing them in front of their peers - and ask them what the hell’s up instead of just talking at them.
The other day a kid was being rude to his partner that I had paired him with for a task, ignoring her and refusing to do any work. I asked if he was ok, he shrugged and said yes. I told him he needed to contribute and treat his partner with respect, then moved on. Came back a few mins later, nothing had changed. I asked him to come have a word. Pulled him out of earshot of the kids and asked if something was wrong. He said no. I said ok but you are acting like you’re upset or angry. Are you upset or angry? He said no (in an upset and angry way lmao). I asked if his partner was the problem. No. The task? No. Bear in mind this kid was like 12 so it could well have just been hormones. I am not his usual teacher, I don’t know him, so if there was something personal going on for him it’s pretty fair to not want to tell me, a stranger.
At this point I just said look I’m gonna be real with you. You clearly don’t want to talk to me about this and I respect that. But here are the facts. You are in class. You have class work to do and a partner who is currently doing it all by herself when everyone else gets help from a partner. Is that fair? He agreed it’s not fair. I said it’s ok if you’re not feeling great and you can’t give 100%, but you need to at the very least be polite to your partner and try to contribute a little bit to the work. I said if I saw him doing that bare minimum then we can all get on with our day, but if I saw him continue to ignore and do nothing then he was going to have to stay in at break time to make up for his partners wasted time. Asked if he understood. Got a nod and a shrug, good enough.
Literally a minute later he was talking to his partner and suggesting something for their task. A few minutes after that they were laughing and chatting. Didn’t have any issues with him for the rest of the day.
Back when I was a less experienced teacher I used to come down hard on kids who were being disrespectful, mostly because I was trying to be ‘an authority figure’ or whatever. I would have been more likely to scold that kid in front of his partner and his peers, give him an ultimatum, or taken his moodiness as rudeness against me personally. I don’t recall getting great results with any of that crap. He probably would have ended up staying in and ruining both our break times. Kids are just normal people and how many people do you know who react well to being humiliated, talked down to, or punished without given a chance to discuss or appeal it?
I know teaching is different from parenting but I’ve been working with kids for quite a few years now and it’s honestly the main thing I’d say I’ve learned about them, and it’s laughably simple: they are people, they have a perspective and they understand fairness, and they will respond a LOT better to being spoken with like an equal than being talked at like a lesser being. Who’d have thought????
I am exceptionally lucky in that my parents never hit me, grounded me, confiscated my things, banned me from my hobbies or threatened any of these actions to make me behave as a kid. as an adult it has made me realise how very very long a road most people have to traverse before they can take a statement like 'no rule that must be enforced by threat is legitimate' seriously.
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