#but i just cant be bothered to make a calendar of the years its gonna take me to pay off my fake business that will never happen?????

[minglana]

what if..... i delete parts of the work that i just dont want to do and there is no way of knowing how i have to do them..... will he notice?

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Remember?

Summary- 1.9k Frank Adler x You. Frank wakes you up at the ungodly hour of 3:30 am and will not even tell you why. Written for @stargazingfangirl18​ 5k challenge

Warnings- like... barely there mention hint of smut? But just barely? I cant even count it as a warning to be honest. 

A/N- so yes this is written for a soft!dark challenge, but dark writing just isn't happening. I went with just soft and with the prompt of lazy make out session.I really wanted to make sure I was giving something to Siri’s challenge because she works so hard on providing us wonderful fics to enjoy, is incredibly supportive and honestly she deserves it. Much love always babes and thank you for all you do.  

A/N 2- Can be read as a one shot. It is in the same verse as Oppressive. Also trying out a new site to make moodboards. I kinda like it? what do you all think? And I know the Fort Myers pier is made from concrete, not wood, but I wanted wood. So I went with wood. I always appreciate your thoughts on a fic. Alright, Much Love, Happy Reading! 🌊

“Baby wake up.” You heard a husky whisper in your ear as well as a rough scrape against your shoulder from Franks cheek as he pressed in close to your back, the soft hairs of his chest pressed into your sleepy warm skin and you muttered a no into your pillow as you hid your face into the cotton covers. 

He must be out of his ever loving mind to think you were going to wake up at… a quick peek at the old 80’s looking radio clock Frank loved sitting on his night stand. The red numbers were unfocused at first, but blurry sharpened to three thirty am. Yes, your man was crazy to think you were up for anything at all, and the way he was pressed into your ass cheeks, you suspected he woke up early for sex. 

That was going to be a hell no. “Frank go back to sleep. I will fuck you later.” You promised as you shifted back into your warm safe hollow. He chuckled gruffly and his hands slid on your hips to twist you to fast him, causing you to sigh and blink up at him. In the dark of the room, his eyes were a dull blue shining down at you amused. You though were no in that same mood as you blinked up at him, pushing a hand against his chest. “Come on Frank, I'm not in the mood. I was sleeping so good.” 

“You would think I would wake you up just for sex.” Frank scoffed.

“It wouldn't be the first time.” 

“Probably won't be the last either, but that's not what this is about. Come on Sweetheart, get up. I have a surprise.” He tapped your ass and pulled away as you were groaning, knowing sleep simply wasn't going to happen. 

“Adler, I swear to all that is holy, this better be good.” You grumbled as you sat up and tried to wake up. Frank came back out with some clothing for you, a pair of capris, tee shirt and undergarments. You looked at the casual clothing and arched your brows. “Where are you dragging me?” 

“Its a surprise, trust me, those are appropriate.” He started as he dressed in some old faded blue jeans and grey tee. Wherever he was taking you wasn't going to require dressing up too much, so you just pulled your hair back into a tie, and didn't bother with makeup. He kept glancing at his watch, and by three fifty he had you out the door and to his pickup truck. He tossed a bag in the back and when you went to question it, he shook his head firmly in a no while ushering you into the passenger side. “Part of it, just trust me.” 

“I trust you to have something up your sleeve Adler, considering you know I love my sleep in on Saturday Morning.” You grumbled under your breath. Typically you and Frank slept late Saturdays. Mary would go to Roberta’s Friday night for her weekly sleepover that both woman and child insisted on, you and Frank would go to the local bar for a night of cold drinks, games of pool and the occasional dancing when you could get Frank drunk enough to go on the small dance floor. Simple, but you always had a good time. Saturday was recovery day. 

So why was he dragging you out of bed on recovery day? 

“So a hint?” You decide to pester a bit, sliding closer on the bench seat till you were against his side, his arm circling around your shoulder to tuck you in closer and press a kiss to your temple. You could feel his lips upturned to a smirk against the side of your head. 

“You want a hint… It has to be done early in the morning.” 

You rolled your eyes at him with a huff, dropping your hand to dance your fingers against a jean clad thigh, making his eyes dart down to your hand. “I want better then that.” 

“You are not gonna get it Baby, but you can try your best.” 

He really was being serious this time, because he caught your hand from wandering up to far and brought it to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. 

“Alright Adler, keep your secrets then.” You let your head rest on his shoulder and eyes close. Frank was stubborn, always had been. You knew when you just had to let it go. You drifted in and out as he sped along the interstate. Soon he was turning off, but you weren't quick enough to catch what the exit was, so still had no idea. 

“Are we there?” 

“Close, you don't know where we are?” He asked with a slight laugh in his voice. You shrug a bit as you two are driving down the main drag of the area, passing all night gas stations, fast food chain restaurants, outlet stores and parking lots. 

“No clue, every place in Florida has this Frank.” 

He hummed a bit, slowing to an intersection and flicking on his blinker. “True, but you will soon see.” He winked as he made the turn, pulling away from the city-like area and moving towards the beach strip. Where million dollar homes, hotels, and beach side tourist traps laid quiet in the barely morning hours. It was starting to lighten though, you could see the black blue of the night sky make way for lighter purples and pinks. 

So you remained patient, waiting for wherever Frank was taking you. The terrain started to get sandier, the crack of the window took on a breezy salty scent and you could taste the hint of surf and sand in the air. Your lips turned upwards, just that scent alone reminded you of a couple years ago, and it all clicked right where you were. 

Your first overnight away from home with Frank was to Fort Myers, a small rundown motel on the beach. The room was iffy, the Ac barely worked, neither of you dared to use the pool. At the time it was all you two could afford. And it was all perfect. 

Because that morning, before sunrise, you two escaped to the beach, arm in arm and sat in the dunes to watch the sunrise over the crashing ocean, and all was perfect in the world with each other. 

Frank glanced over to see the knowing look on your face, and his own softened in a smile, his hand coming to grasp the inside of your thigh gently, squeezing. “Now you know?” He pulled into an almost deserted parking lot. At the other end were a group of people, unstrapping their boards to get ready to go into the surf. 

“Of course Frankie.” You said with a touch of sentiment in your tone as you leaned over to peck his lips and nip at him playfully. “How can I forget?” You pull away suddenly and jump out of the car, yanking off your shoes to ditch in the truck. Frank followed, doing the same with his own boots. 

You had already taken off into the sand, making your way towards the surf to dig your feet into the wet sand happily. Now it was getting lighter, those dark purples and pinks made way for the reds and oranges as the barest hint of the sun kissed the horizon. 

Frank came up behind, having managed to yank his jeans up partially around his calves and pressed you two to walk out a bit further into the surf, the salt water spritzing you both in a fine cooling mist, clinging to your skin, in your hair, on your clothes. It all brought back the sensations of that first trip together. You fall back into his chest while he dips his head to mouth kisses into your neck, enjoying the quiet of the moment with you in a more physical way for a moment. Making you tilt your head to the side while the sun finally broke. 

From the nearby pier, heavy pelicans lined the side to swoop down, skimming over the water in lines, giving the two of you a show all for yourselves, among the surf the small sandpipers chased after the tiny ghost crabs trying to escape back into the surf, all of it made you smile. This felt like home to you, right here with Frank. 

“It feels like forever since we have visited.” You finally say as you turn to face Frank, the two of you stepping out of the surf, and hand in hand making your way along the beach's edge towards the pier, the sandpipers running away as fast as they could, a few taking to wing to fly several yards ahead of you to start there search in the surf retreating back from the edge once more. 

“Been a couple years at least. I was looking at the calendar and realized an anniversary of ours was coming up.” He mentioned while you two stepped under the pier. A small private world for you two at the moment as far above you people made their way towards the end stretching out over the water, ready to drip lines for fishing in the surf. Here though, underneath it all, was just for you and Frank. 

Nothing but water crashing to the shore, wood above your heads and the morning bringing back fond memories. Memories of shared kisses against one of the ageless logs helping to hold the deck yards above them steady, the way your legs wrapped around his hips as he pinned you in place and loved you so freely out in the open where they could be caught. How afterwards Frank said those words that he never uttered to anyone else in the way he said it to you. 

Fuck I think I love you. 

You thought then you loved him to. Now you knew you did. Your fingers looped in his belt loops and you walked backwards, till your back pressed once more against that sand and salt aged wood, looking up at him in the now very present dawn. 

“You know Frank, I think I love you.” 

“You know what Y/N, I think I love you too.” He winked, sliding in closer till he was pressed against you, his hands cupping the side of your face and tilting up to meet him, his tongue sliding past soft lips to the sweet heat of your mouth and tangling his tongue with yours. It elicited a soft moan from the back of your throat. 

Warming salty air really agreed with Frank, mixing the tastes on your tongue, you curled your arms around his body, clutching at his back as you now clung to him, thoroughly enjoying the way this kiss made you feel. 

The sensations of love and passion curling in your belly and your heart thud against your breast bone, absorbing into Frank as he pressed into your body, trying to daze you from rational thoughts, away from the everyday thoughts. 

Frank had a talent at making you appreciate the here and now. 

And right here, with sand covering your feet, your shirt and pants clinging to you from the ocean spray and your man completely pressing every ounce of his affection into you, you could do nothing but appreciate being in the moment. 

“Scratch that, I don't think, I know I love you Frank Adler.” You managed to break out of his kiss for half a second. 

“I know you do.” He assured you as he grasped the back of your thighs and lifted you enough to fold your legs around his waist. “I plan on showing you just how I feel.” He promised, the glint in his ocean blue eyes turning mischievously playful under that pier.

[lizacstuff]

Edser / Sen Cal Kapimi ep 30+ asks

(Asks under the cut)

@jan31 Hi Liza, in the fragman Selin was in a white dress, was it a wedding dress?

Hello! I don’t think so. I think that’s what she was going to wear to the dinner she’d planned for the four of them (from the fragman, Eda, Serkan, Deniz and herself) but BOOM goes the MELO. Thank you Melo, lock that witch away so Serkan and Eda are not haunted by her evil presence, and can maybe spend some time together. 

Though, you know, I wouldn’t mind if it was a wedding dress. We know Serkan ain’t gonna marry her, so if they go so far as to put her in a dress, then we’re on the precipice of her humiliation and departure which can’t come too soon for me. 

jan31 Hi Liza. Please can you explain to me the fireside scene. It was so beautiful, emotional and just what we needed. Were the lights going out representing his sub conscious and the darkness he feels, reaching out for Eda instinctively without realising why. And the lights coming on was the reality that he did not remember anything. Or am I completely going in the wrong direction? Oh and the music gets me every time 😢😢

That scene fired on all cylinders!! I definitely think you’re on to something thinking the lights coming on represented the reality of him still not having any memories back. I think the whole scene was Serkan trying to reconcile this one flash of memory that has been playing in his mind like a movie. He was re-enacting what he saw in his mind, trying to figure out if it was a real memory and if the real memory was about Eda.   

I really liked that it was Serkan who asked if they can talk without arguing. Being the calm, rational one is his role in their relationship, how many times have we heard him say “sakin” so it was comforting to see him taking those reigns for a few moments. Also for him to realize that almost all their exchanges had been heightened and fraught with explosive emotions and wanting to talk to her without that. 

Both Eda and Serkan with their eyes filled, brimming with tears really got to me. Serkan not really understanding as his heart took over and tried to make sense of what his confused mind couldn’t. Eda’s complete heartbreak when he still didn’t remember anything. However, though, she might not know it, he certainly felt something.

He’s already so drawn to her and he can’t compute why that is... why he fell in love with her during the time he can’t remember, but he’s slowly starting to see how it could have happened. This was an important scene for bridging that gap between them. So freaking beautiful, one of the best acted scenes of the entire series, and the scene that made this episode worthwhile. 

Anonymous said: if that scene in front of the fireplace made me so emotional and it was just him trying to remember.. trying to recreate that one moment he was flashbacks of... i cant imagine what the actual scene of him remembering will do to me. both their acting in that scene was something else.

Hande and Kerem were both absolutely fantastic in that scene. Really stellar. Their chemistry never disappoints, but here they were both right in the moment, very raw, very real. I’m impressed with the emotional range they both showed, kudos to both. If nothing else this story is giving them a lot to chew on as actors.

Anonymous said:  memory loss doesn't bother me that much if we can have beautiful scenes like the fireplace one. but the main couple is separated again, dating/fake dating other people and they don't have scenes enough to fall in love again

Well they made huge strides in two episodes. From Serkan not willing to even contemplate remembering her, to him sitting down and asking her to tell him a memory of their relationship and saying he wants to know about her and their love. And them having an absolutely beautiful, emotional, heartbreaking moment together. 

Serkan made other leaps as well. He went from wanting Eda out of the business to admitting she had talent and freaking out that she was planning to take a vacation. He was already coming up with every excuse to keep her in town and working. They argued as they did in early days, he had moments that obviously hit him as familiar (”I hate you Serkan Bolat.” “The feeling is mutual, lady.”) plus lemons and crusts. 

Don’t you worry, he’s already falling in love with her again. 

However, I wouldn’t judge what they’re planning too much by this episode. It felt like a transition episode and was pretty unevenly paced. Perhaps the claims of rewrites on this chapter had some truth to them. Because the last 4 episodes were pretty well written, narratively solid, and well paced, and this one was not. It was boring and everything not directly related to a scene where Eda and Serkan were alone was lackluster. 

Also I feel like some things were changed and perhaps removed to make allowances for Hande’s injury. She had a strained neck and was in a brace for almost the entirety of the filming of this episode. For instance, I’m pretty sure they did fewer takes with her in several scenes. Specifically you can tell in the scene where Serkan picks her up and carries her back.

We go no full wide angle shot from the front of him carrying her to match with the scene in episode 5. I’m sure they wanted that, but I’m guessing they really had to limit the takes of him picking her up so they couldn’t do multiple camera set ups.  The still photographer on set was able to capture it from the front, it’s a shame they couldn’t get the full hero shot for the show, but poor thing was injured and these things happen when you shoot on such tight timelines. 

So some of the lack of Edser could have been scenes that were shortened, cut, and amended due to that injury. And others could have been changes in the script perhaps as they figure out if they’re getting another ep order from Fox. 

Anonymous said: idk what they’re doing with Ceren but I really need them to keep Deniz as a genuinely good friend. He’s perfect and I don’t want them to make him sketch. Not sure if you’ve seen OTH but that’s the only other show I’ve seen with a great male-female friendship. Other parts of the show are messy to me right now but I’ve been loving this.

I guess my opinion would be unpopular with you, but I am not as enamored with Deniz as others seem to be.  Dude was putting a LOT of pressure on Eda to move on and forget Serkan. Serkan has been back approximately 3 days! HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND HAS AMNESIA. Can the woman have a chance to catch her breath and assess the situation, before her “good friend” is pressuring her every which way to forget him??  And planning romantic getaways under the guise of friendship? That’s not being a friend, that’s being an opportunist, looking for his chance to slide in there. 

So, yeah, I’m not as impressed as most seem to be with Deniz. He made me uncomfortable with that. I hope it was not a harbinger of things to come. 

As for OTH, I haven't really watched, but its a fav or my bud @echoapothecary so she might be willing to discuss that show.

Anonymous said: Any chance they decide to throw Melo and Ferit together? I don't care about any of the other side romances going on but these two still have their rights in my book in regards to Edser and they seem like genuinely people?

Let’s do it, baby! I’m on board They both are genuinely good people, and I’m with you, I don’t care about any of the side romances at the moment. Piril and Engin put me to sleep this episode. 

Ferit certainly deserves better than psycho Selin, but he also deserves better than petulant Ceren. And while her behavior escalated to WTF levels this ep, she’s always leaned a little this way. I think it was episode 18 (because the girls were in the library before Serkan finds Eda there) that Ceren was furious at Ferit all episode and I honest to goodness had no clue why or what he did. 

Anonymous said: at first sçk was about women supporting women and we have one best friend turning against the other FOR A MAN. I'm so disappointed the writers are destroying characters one by one.

No this show has always been about the love story between Eda and Serkan, but it did have some nice female relationships as well. Can I tell you a secret? While I really like the girls dynamic, and hope they don’t destroy Ceren and Eda’s friendship, I really only care about 2 characters, and that’s Eda and Serkan.

So while I get your concern, and Ceren acted OUT OF HER DAMN MIND this episode, if she needs to be a casualty to keep things moving, so be it.  I mean I reserve the right to roll my eyes over it, but I’m not going to get too worked up about it. From the beginning Eda and Serkan were the only two characters that matter and they still are. 

Anonymous said: I'm kinda concerned that they're actually going to say the next episode takes place on Valentines Day because this would be the biggest timeline error yet. I know we've already been suspending belief here after they touched on New Years so quickly but umm, yeah....

I think you have to just give over to the timeline on this show and not do any math or calculations. We already had July to December take approximately 2 months in straight linear storytelling, LMAO.  

Also, if it is valentine’s day and that’s going to be their excuse to give us some actual romance, then I will take it, no complaints. To me that’s one of the easiest things not to be concerned about, because its never going to make sense. I’ll take the holiday themed episodes over strict adherence to the calendar any day. 

[gomedorgohome]

(1/2) hello!! i dont know if you remember me but i once sent a super long ask about doubting myself going into medschool with the BMAT and all that and a plan B :"))) anyyywayyyyy,,, what happened was that it didnt work out at all hahas. I didnt bother applying to med and i couldnt make it to a normal uni course. But then, this year, i just started going to a medschool in the philippines! as of now i've finished with the first week and i honestly am feeling so unworthy right now because i find

(2/2) myself to be too slow, or that my classmates generally seem to know what's going on while Im stumbling. I mean i guess we literally started so we have to start adjusting but, i feel like there's a huge gap between us :') i cant remember anything and generally understand advanced readings before the lecture and the lectures are really fast. not to mention i'm going to be living alone now so its gonna be tougher to eat and clean and wash with studying. my excitement is now unworthiness tbh

Hey, of course we remember you!First of all, congratulations on getting into med school! You should be really proud of yourself because this already is a huge achievement. 

Secondly, please try not to compare yourself to others. Each student has their own study methods and pace at which they get familiar with the new material. Trust us, even if it doesn’t seem like it, at the beginning most people will struggle with adjusting to the new environment and study material. Don’t get discouraged that easily and don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you feel like you might need it. Talk to some of your classmates or the lecturer if there’s something that you don’t fully understand. If there are some basics that you don’t fully remember, try watching videos on Khan Academy or YouTube- there are plenty of great resources there! Maybe even suggest a group study session with friends so you can all help each other?

And lastly, living alone and/or far from home is usually tough for most young people at the beginning. But once you get into a routine, it will get easier week after week. One of the things that could help would be to have a calendar/journal where you’ll schedule time for grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning, alongside lectures and study sessions. 

Try to be positive, talk to a friend about your doubts and feelings and don’t get discouraged! 

Good luck and positive vibes sent your way!~O&Z

[divinesensepro]

The System

Introduction

For far too long I’ve not cared about organizing my life. I just went with the flow. It was an easier time. After all, if I just didn’t think about it, I wouldn’t have to worry about it. But that’s not any way of living life. At least for me. I’m by nature someone who likes to have things in control, have things figured out before the going gets tough. It’s surprising then, how I’ve never bothered sorting things out in my life. And as I write this I feel a pang of pain, that I had let things arrive to this state.

About a few months ago, I started caring due to some personal reasons. I looked back on where things stood in my life and all I saw were ruins. This was due to years of not caring, not having the courage to see things for what they were. Life went on and I went on. Not caring.

It all started with me reading a book – The Productivity Project by Chris Bailey. The book really hit me hard, made me look at my life and assess it objectively. The first step, which is probably the hardest step of all, is to accept that there’s a problem. If not, you never actually begin to see the problem. Acceptance and recognition are really powerful. And also very scary when it’s something negative. That’s probably the reason why most people don’t engage in it. But life can be healthier if you have the courage to figure out what’s wrong, work towards making it right and coming out the other side a winner. Sure it’s gonna be a hard journey but is it even worth it if it wasn’t hard to get there? Embrace it and beat it.

Since then I’ve read quite a bit about organization, productivity and most of all cared to think about how it all relates to my life. I’ve set up a system, which I call “The System” for lack of a better name, to get a grip on my life. Not everyone needs something like this. But I do and so here we are.

Now “The System” isn’t complete and it probably never will be. I will change as a person and my circumstances will change. And that will bring about changes to my system as well. I will however, keep working on improving it and all I can hope for is that one day, it will become stable.

So why write all this down? Honestly it’s for me. It’s so I have a written record of how “The System” started. This is day 0. Also, this will help me work out some of the problems my system has, as it stands today.

 Core Idea

‘The System’ is based on a really simple idea, which David Allen talks about in his book “Getting things done”. Write down whatever’s on your head that you CANT get to at the moment. Want to check out a new video game, need to order some equipment, have an interesting idea to explore? These are called open loops because we don’t act on them instantly but they still take up some of the CPU processing of our brain. It doesn’t affect our attention and focus when the number of such open loops are small but as I’ve come to increasingly realize, there’s a lot of these going through our mind. The combined effect of them becoming open loops and taking up our attention subconsciously can seriously impact the work we are trying to get done in the present. Ever had that feeling when you are trying to focus on something and your mind keeps wandering to other things? Those are the open loops your brain is trying to process. And it’s good at doing just that but unfortunately it doesn’t really know when to focus on which task. That is our job.

Recording open loops is one aspect of “The System”. It’s equally important to ensure that we record these open loops in a place our brain trusts to check back, so that they can be acted upon later. If not, our brain goes right back to processing these tasks even though it’s now been recorded. And so the problem persists.

To summarize, here are the two important things about “The System”:

1.     Record open loops

2.     Record them in a place your brain trusts

 Other additions to The System

Along with improving focus, writing down things is better than simply holding it in your head, it also helps you to have a better perspective of all the things going on in your head and by extension your life. Being able to read it again is very useful. Often you realize you’re putting too much emphasis on the wrong things.

 If you are working on a relatively big project, always take the time to break it down into small chunks that you can handle. I call them “actionable items”. Doing so transforms the big project from being a mass of vagueness, that we resist working on, to small tasks which we definitely know can be acted upon. Completing these tasks moves the pin forward and drives momentum. Remember, don’t just jump into a big project, as tempting as that may seem to be. A little planning and organizing can save a lot of time later on. That said, don’t get too caught up on the planning phase to the extent that you’re procrastinating on starting the actual project. Do enough to have some actionable items to boot with. This list will need constant review and updates as you work your way through the project.

 Make a habit to constantly review “The System”. It’s like a machine and needs constant maintenance. Each month go through your lists, adding, removing and updating it. If you realize, that certain aspects of your system don’t work for you, don’t hesitate to remove or make changes to it. Your system needs to be flexible and should be allowed to constantly change.

On taking breaks

I have come to realize that I’m really bad at taking breaks. I end up pushing past my limit and my concentration suffers. I used to put in an entire day of work at the cost of engaging in my hobbies like playing games or watching a movie and still felt like I hadn’t accomplished much. That’s a sign of bad time management.

Pomodoro has been really helpful to combat this problem. I follow 15 – 5 work schedule.

It’s still a system I’m exploring and not everything has been worked out. For example, I often don’t stop after a 15 min work slot. This isn’t how Pomodoro is meant to be used. And while I do realize that I don’t have to stick to it absolutely, I think this needs more thought.

Also I’ve been trying to figure out what to do when taking those 5 min breaks. Getting up and walking helps but there’s only so many times you can do that. The break needs to involve an activity that can pull me away from the 15 min work mode but not be too stimulating that I keep thinking about it once the 5 min break ends.

 Physical or Digital

I use only digital, involving apps and websites to record the open loops and keep my system running. This just works for me. Even so, I constantly make sure to retrospect and assess whether these apps are right for me. What works for others, or even for most people may not work for you. So make sure to keep looking and trying out new technologies until you find what works for you.

 Some apps/websites I use

This one is specific to way I use it. I have come to this workflow after many iterations and failures.

I maintain a master list of all the projects I’m working on and categorize them into 3 levels of priority in ToDoist. Individually these projects may live in other places like Trello, Obsidian etc, where I break them down into small manageable tasks. I then ask myself what projects I need to be working on referring to the master list in ToDoist and then pick tasks related to those which get added into my tasks to do right now. I maintain this list in Any,do. As I finish tasks I cross them off of Any.do and every few breaks I repeat the above process to refill my task list in Any.do.

-------------------------------------------------- X -----------------------------------------------------

I used to have a major problem watching videos online. Let’s say I’m watching a video on YT and I stop for the day or I want to move to a different one. I used to feel guilty dropping the video and so I would push myself to watch it all the way, even when then’s perhaps not the best time to do so. Now, I just track which videos I’m watching and the timestamp of where I’m at in the video in Google Keep (YT’s feature to get a URL of the video at the current time is a life saver). Now I can just pick back up from where I left off when I revisit the video. It’s one less thing I need to worry about.

-------------------------------------------------- X -----------------------------------------------------

I use Raindrop.io to collect all my bookmarks. This also needs more work. I constantly accrue duplicate bookmarks. I need a better system to decide what goes where.

-------------------------------------------------- X -----------------------------------------------------

I track new books or shows to watch in Google Keep. This way if I come across a new book or show I want to check out, I don’t have to act upon it instantly and can have my attention not fragmented.

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I take notes on tutorials/ tech books I’m reading / projects I’m working on in Obsidian/One Note/Evernote. For the longest time, I never really took notes. I understood the topic at the time, which gave me a false sense of security that I would remember this stuff a week from now. Inevitably I would forget and have to do the work all over again. It’s always better to take notes as you are learning. Our brain isn’t good at remembering facts, its good at processing information. When we learn from a tutorial, the objective is to take good notes that we can use to recall that information later on. Customize the note taking process and structure to suit you.

-------------------------------------------------- X -----------------------------------------------------

I use Google Calendar to track things that need to be completed in the future. Or for events I’m looking forward to.

-------------------------------------------------- X -----------------------------------------------------

Recently I have started using a code snippet manager to track snippets of code I find useful.

-------------------------------------------------- X -----------------------------------------------------

Also now, when I read an interesting article online, technical or not, I take notes in Evernote and Penultimate. This is really useful because not only are you going to have a written note of what you’re reading, which you can refer back late on, it also makes the process of reading more engaging thereby helping you understand better.

 Miscellaneous stuff

I have come to appreciate how powerful doing a little everyday can be in the long term. I finished reading a 600+ page book by reading just 5 pages every day. Took me 6 months and I missed some days but I finished it. That’s better than not finishing. It wasn’t a particularly engaging book but I still wanted to read it because I had bought it and liked the author. Now that I finished it, I can tell the book wasn’t for me rather than doing so after dropping it because I couldn’t keep a long attention span and gave up.

 Conclusion

Finally, this hasn’t captured the entirety of “The System”, partly cause it’s not yet complete and also because what exists of it as of today isn’t quite so clear in my head. I plan to keep tweaking it, improving it and will create a new edition of this document again.

These documents will be a way for me to look back and assess how “The System” came to be.

[animuras]

best wishes for the holidays [drabble] [start]

this ‘drabble’ got crazy out of hand and I’m not gonna finish it in time, so we’re breaking it into parts. i’ll get the first two out now, and then update as i finish.

          part i Souta doesn’t see the present for a while. Not for the usual reason, because he isn’t at his own place at all, but at Roma’s, sleeping in a nest of pillows and blankets and the scattered ashes of any dignity he might have ever had. No, he’s actually been in his own room more, trying to see if bashing his head into a different wall will make a difference.

December, December is always busy, only this year, there’s nothing to do. Nothing left to be busy but his own messed up fractured brain, and honestly, after months he’s getting tired of that. You’d think with 25 years of repressed trauma his mind could get more than a couple months of horrific waking nightmares before it started getting repetitive, but most of his life had been empty repetition, anyway. Repetition and habituation. There were only so many things left that could qualify as nightmares and Roma singing off key at 3am had most of them beat at this point.

Most of them, but not all. There’s more left, even now than he’d like. He tries to pretend, like he always has, that he’s fine. After all, there’s entire other universes of anime to watch, novels to read, video games to play. Brand new gacha games, even. It’s almost enough to smear globs of white-out over the days he can hardly remember, knocked off balance by the passing smell of some specific flowers, or the wrong shade of purple hair. There are days when his sides ache, when the scar on his chest feels like its bleeding, when the kakuhou under his skin feel like they’re tearing him apart from the inside and he just lies there hoping they really will, really eat him alive after all this time, just like he’d asked so many years ago.

It’d gotten better for a bit, certainly. Even with the odd Zombie Apocalypse. But, as if on some kind of alarm, as soon as the calendar had flipped over to December, that same month is baby of a boss had marked up on the wall, the gears he’d barely managed to get turning started to spin out again.

It’s almost been a year, give or take an entirely different universe’s counting of time. A year since he’d felt that old man’s blood splash up over his gloves, since he’d felt the give of his sinew and bone under katana’s forged to defend him. A year since he’d conducted that orchestra, hallways of his childhood painted red, redecorated with corpses.  All that waiting and a year ago it really, finally started, he’d dragged the boulder to the top of the hill at last. All that was left was a few quick months of it rolling down, down, down.

And it had, hadn’t it? It had even crushed him under its weight like he wanted, in the end. What more could he have wanted. Would it have made any difference at all if he’d been able to make it through the next few scenes? Would the world have cared? It wouldn’t have mattered, really. He’d have been dead either way.

Maybe he’d have been here, either way, too, spending December in a new universe, (some computer simulation, maybe, he doesn’t even know,) not able to tell the difference between dreams and waking and memories, and too tired to bother to push them away by the middle of the month.

He lays in his bed and watches them, sometimes, the memories and nightmares, the video reel of his life with all its scratches and tears from being played like this so many times on a faulty projector. They transition seemlessly between things that really happen and things that never did, between fact and fiction, recall, imagination, dream, nightmare. If the screaming is real, really coming from outside his door or window, he wouldn’t know. He wouldn’t care.

He watches Kijima tap dance across his floor, his head cut in half, spraying blood everywhere and thinks, with annoyance, how hard all that will be to clean, hopes his roommates, wherever they are, can’t hear the thudding of that peg leg, and its only when the patchwork man phases clear through the wall that he remembers there’s no noise, no blood, not really. The wall beyond him shifts and he’s at Itori’s bar, her usual choice of music playing in the background.

The last thing I need is to get drunk, he thinks, pushing the bottle away from him. How many days has it been since he’s slept?

“How do you know you aren’t sleeping right now?” Itori lilts at him

“I don’t,” he says. “I never do these days.”

“I have to say,” Uta says from beside him, “the scientists have amazing timing, don’t they?”

Souta turns, looks at him from across the cafe table, a cup of hot black coffee in one gloved hand.

“There I was, so excited to see what Tokyo had to offer, but life is never so kind as to give us what we want.”

That’s true, he thinks, as the scene continues to play.

“I can only guess how frustrating it is to have such closely calculated plans interrupted in this kind of way.”

That’s also true.

“Killing your dad so easily… your inspiration is truly priceless.”

“So,” his own voice says, though it takes him a second to place, “They’re all dead then?”

Huh? His head buzzes, and the cafe around him shifts and he was back in that office,  then nowhere at all, then lying in a bedroom, staring at a strangely familiar white ceiling. He sits up, and looks down to see a small silver star in his hand.

Holiday presents were just as bad as birthday presents. Usually food or something consumable or trash, right? And yet here he is.

A wish, huh?

Huh?

There’s no star here at all, no poster on the wall, in fact, this room looks nothing like that. Dreams again, strangely banal dreams.

Which is when he sees the present. It’s not a star, but then dreams like to make those subtle and stupid changes. This must be why he’d put that silly one together.

He knows right away this was another plot of this hell without even looking at the strange name on the tag. He should throw it out. What reason did he have to think this... present would be any more amenable than anything else about this city.

Deja Vu, probably from the dream, nags at the back of his skull. He should just leave it be—

[ part ii ]

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Real Life Tasks With Ransom Drysdale

An Advent Calendar Of 24 Normal Human Tasks As Performed By A Huge Man Baby

Day 22: National Lampoon Christmas Vacation Drysdale Style

Warnings: Bad Language Words. 

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

A/N: So this is my last entry for the Ransom Advent Calendar. It has been so much fucking fun to do and read everyone's reactions at his attempts to be a good husband. Much love sent to @jennmurawski13​ and @what-is-your-backupplan-today​ for the joint writing and antics. Happy Holidays everyone, Happy Reading and Much Love always 

Series Masterlist

Christmas it turned out was a big deal for you. Huge actually, you had been decorating for a week since thanksgiving last Thursday and Ransom had never seen anything like it. There were lights and ornaments all over the place, he had never seen a nutcracker before but when you demonstrated how to use one, he said that was barbaric, and there was the constant smell of some kind of strong smelling candle constantly burning through the house now. 

He could just imagine how much Linda would hate all of this, the santas, reindeer and snowmen scattered around, the big giant wreath hanging on the door, or the platter of cookies always laid out for whoever wanted some. She would loathe it and consider it tacky. Ransom loved it all just for that reason. 

As well as how happy it seemed to make you, he would catch you now talking to your belly all the time, singing Christmas songs and telling stories while you would be setting something new up. Today you were busy making a miniature village the length of the living room to put in the picture window. Little houses scattered across the white sheet covered board, and you were fluffing bits of white cotton to look like snow, a container of people and animals were nearby to start setting up like it was an actual little village. 

“Where did you even have all this packed away?” Ransom asked while he leaned over the table to get a better look at some of the buildings. 

“In the attic, where you store stuff.” You retort sarcastically, as you try to prop some fencing up, and you straighten, rubbing the small of your back. “And I'm almost finished.” This time a hint of pride in your voice didn't escape Ransom, and he moved up behind you, taking over to rub at the small of your back, able to dig slightly into the tense muscle and make you moan in appreciation. 

“Well it all looks good Princess.” he said softly and you nodded in agreement, happy at how well it had come together. “I have never had a Christmas like this before.” 

You turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his waist while looking up at him. “I know, and I plan on changing that. This is the kind of Christmas’s I want our Bean to have, fun and exciting, full of love. There is one thing I need you to do though.” 

“Oh? What's that? Taste test cookies? Because I'm all for that. Cookies and whiskey.” Ransom grinned and you shook your head. 

“No, cookies and milk Ransom.” You chuckled while his face screwed up in disgust. 

“Now that's just wrong. Ruin a perfectly good cookie. And what did you need?” 

“Fine! When the time comes Bean will leave out Cookies and Whiskey for Santa… we will have a drunk Santa, everyone needs some kind of messed up tradition.” You played your fingers in his soft knit sweater for a second. “I need you to hang the lights outside.” 

“Why the fuck we doing the outside to? It already looks like that elf you made me watch the other night wreaked havoc through our house.” 

“Because Ransom, it looks nice. I already left it all out in the garage. All you gotta do is line the edge of the roof with the blue and white icicle lights I left you.” You patted his chest and turned back towards your village. “And admit it, what makes me happy usually fares well for you.” 

“Just the lights? You're not gonna make me drag anything up on the roof like that movie the other night?” 

You paused a moment, thinking about what Ransom was talking about. “What movie?” 

“You know, the Tim the Toolman one, with that Halloween chick.” Ransom stated while grabbing a jacket from the closet and pulling it on to get ready to go out and start on the project you assigned him to. 

“Oh Christmas With The Kranks… no no, there is no Frosty for our roof.” You turn back to your village, ending with a “Yet. I ordered one though. But he wont get here till after the new year because the one I wanted was on back order. Next year Ransom, you gotta get a Frosty up there.” 

“Fucking hell, Of course I do.” He muttered to himself while leaving the house to get into the garage, feeling suddenly like maybe he wasn't entirely loving this whole Christmas explosion as much as he thought he did. 

In the garage were a few boxes of the lights you had described, as well as a brand new nail gun and staples. He set about pulling out the lights, effectively tangling them in the process and spending another 45 minutes cursing them with every name he could think of while untangling them. “You fucking cunts, l’m gonna murder you if you don’t stay untangled.” He whipped the lights till they fell in place, and he dragged them all outside to toss in the snow near one edge of the house. Going back, he got an aluminum ladder and dragged that out as well to prop against the edge of the house. “Fuck this is going to take forever.” He grumbled while loping the lights over his arm and grabbing the nail gun to climb to the top. 

Ransom, he was typically fearless, heights didn't bother him, so that made him less self aware then most people. He just started to stretch the lights along the edge, stapling half haphazardly along the roof while letting them dangle down his shoulder and eventually the strand tangled around his feet. It wasn't so bad he thought when he managed to get a quarter of the way up and was about to climb down the ladder to move it over. Ready to start hanging more lights when the strand tightened around his ankle from where they got tangled and the sudden pressure made him lose balance.

Now he felt actual fear of falling, watching as the bushes under the living room window where you were setting up the village started to rush towards him when a snap stopped him, making him sway and twist around like a pendulum. You happened to look up when he screamed and saw him hanging just above the ground. “RANSOM!” you yelled while awkwardly rushing away from the table to get outside, your hand braced against the side of your very pregnant belly to support it. “Hang on! Oh fuck fuck fuck...” You chanted in a panic while you made your way carefully down the steps of the house. 

While you're trudging through the snow in your house slippers, Ransom is screaming. “Y/N, Call 911! Call 911!” he's all red faced from being upside down, his hands trying to grab at the bushes below to make himself stop swinging, and your using your phone to call the local emergency services because you are imagining all kinds of scenarios, mainly that your boyfriend has busted a ankle hanging like that or he was going to break his neck falling and you were going to have to raise the baby yourself. 

“Don’t you dare break your neck Ransom, if you die and I have to raise our spawn child myself.” Your voice is panicked as your pressing the phone to your ear. 

Ransom hollers hearing you, having grabbed a hold of the bush now to support himself. “PAY ATTENTION TO THE PHONE Y/N!”

There was a pop above the two of you and all the staples shoot out, the lights slacking as they pull away from the roof, and Ransom fell the last few feet into the bush  below with a grunt from impact. 

You give a surprised yelp when he disappeared from sight, the voice on the other end finally got your attention and your words just about run together. “Myhusband- he was hanging off the roof. I don't know what happened, he was hanging lights.” 

Ransom rolled out of the bush, still tangled in lights. “Tell them i’m fucking fine Y/N.” He growled while trying to tug the lights off his legs. And you paused a second. 

“You sure? You don't want to be checked out?” Your voice waivers with uncertainty, and Ransom is sitting in the snow, working once more to get them untangled, this time from around his ankles. 

“Yea, I'm not hurt.” He yanks on them while shoving them off with a “Fucking whore bitch, I hate you.” his temper making him curse at the lights, and you step away so the 911 operator cant hear him. 

“We’re fine, I’m sorry to bother you.” Hanging up, you return to Ransom who's standing now, checking himself over. 

“I am not going back up there again Y/N, and that fucking Frosty can go in the yard.” he sputtered as he kicked at the lights before swooping down to gather them. “I will hire someone, that's the only way it will be done.” 

You can hear the genuine shocked fear in his tone, and you have to agree this time with him that it would be better to let someone else do it. He half expects you to argue with him about it, wanting to be independent on hiring help, but this time you surprise him. 

“You are right Ransom.” 

Pausing, he looked at you with shock. “I’m… right?” 

You nodded and rested your hand on your protruding belly. “Better mark the calendar.” Everything that happened in the last five minutes sink in, making you gasp a bit as the heaviness settled in your chest. The tears they just bust out of nowhere and Ransom drops the offensive lights to pull you into his arms. Of course you were going to cry, it seemed to be all you did over this. He was kind of used to it by now. 

“Hey Princess, its okay.” He says soothing as you sob into his chest, making him wince. “It takes more then some god damn lights to end me.” 

You sniffle a bit and lift your head to look at him. “Its not that Ransom.” 

“Well then, what the hell brought on the waterworks?” He arched a brow and you look at the front of your house. 

“I didn’t get a picture of you hanging off the house to show our kid.” 

Ransom looked at you incredulously in disbelief. “You are serious...” 

Shrugging a bit now that the shock was over you grinned a bit. “Come on... I’m just teasing. Now that its over an your safe, it was a little funny seeing you have a Clark Griswold moment...” Ransom pulled away and started stomping towards the house, you following after him. “Ransom! Don’t be mad! Its Christmas!”  

“Fuck Off Y/N, I’m not in the mood.” He grumbled while shrugging off his jacket and you knew you had to make it up to him.