#but i imagine a lot of people really like the romance of it all
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I'm still trying to get my head around Chat Noir's complete sidelining not just in the finale, but pretty much the entirety of the show. Based on some of the tweets I've seen, Thomas Astruc is pretty hostile to the suggestion that Chat should have more of a share of the narrative.
So... why? Why make his family, his very existence, the fulcrum on which the show turns? If you want to be the show to only be about Marinette, with Adrien as a side character and "just" a love interest, then MAKE the show only about Marinette. Don't make the main plot about Adrien, and wonder why people are confused when he's not more involved in the main plot. It's such a self-inflicted wound.
Heck, the least they could have done was give Marinette SOME personal stake in her conflict with Hawkmoth, even if it's as uncomplicated as making Marinette a paragon-type superhero like Superman or Captain American who takes her duty to the people of Paris very seriously and feels deeply about the hurt Hawkmoth's is putting them through. But most of Marinette's personal conflicts are about romance or school dynamics. The closest any of her conflicts come to her actual enmity with Hawkmoth are those that deal with the stress of being a superhero/Guardian, in which Hawkmoth doesn't really feature as a person who is her mortal enemy but as an impersonal cause for the stress she's in.
While the finale tries to summon some emotional weight to Marinette's situation, the final fight, at least on Ladybug's end, feels less like the culmination of an epic rivalry and more like a contractual obligation Marinette needs to meet as Gabriel's assigned nemesis.
I mean, the unsatisfying but true answer is twofold:
1)TA never wanted Ladybug to have a partner. That was a requirement in order to get producers lined up to hand over money. It should be understood that I am NOT trashing the producers for this. It is their money. If you want to pursue your purely artistic goal then you secure other funding or self fund. If you want to get something MADE then you have to make what people want to pay to have made. A portion of the friction here comes from the fact that I don't think TA ever stopped fighting for his original version of the show, and that version conflicts directly with the version he was paid to write for.
2)In the context of the above- Adrien is a TROPHY. Gabriel is the DRAGON, and his home life is the TOWER that the KNIGHT Marinette must rescue him from. If Adrien were a side-character he wouldn't be much of a trophy, investment wise. Is it good to make a character purely a trophy? No. It's not good when it is done ot female characters, it's not good when it's done to male ones either. (Or intersex, enby, nongendered, etc) We've moved past the kind of storytelling TA is selling in his vision of ML. It feels like something out of the early 00's, which when you consider where he started his work, makes a lot of sense.
Should they have connected Marinette to Gabriel more? Absolutely! They both do fashion! SHE could have had an internship right along with Lila. Can you imagine the rivalry there? Can you imagine the conflicts with Gabriel?
At the VERY least they should have let Marinette actually track down abriel. Let her put all her planning and analysis to good use! Instead they just had Felix do it all and then some blind luck at the end. That's LAME, that's cheating Marinette out of a well deserved culmination story beat.
Punching has never been what Ladybug was about, so a final fight could never be a satisfying climax no matter how 'epic' it was.
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Paris | Mark Lee
Pairing boyfriend!mark x fem!reader
Summary: Your boyfriend, Mark, gets the offer of a lifetime but it means moving to Paris. Is this the start of a new future in a new city or where a great romance goes to die in the city of love.
Genre: angst, no warnings I think. Giselle and the rest of the ĂŠspa members play a small role.
Word count: 2,458
All stories are the property of © aek1ra, please do not copy, repost or translate without my permission. Thank you for your cooperation.
Friday
âI canât stay here and be single for you, youâre my best friend why canât you just be happy for meâ you whisper shout at her in the middle of the crowded streets of Manhattan. âI am happy for you, I just donât want you to regret this decision in the future-â she takes a deep breath and continues âlook all Iâm saying is that youâve given up a lot for this relationship and this is one more thing heâs asking you to give up. Moving to Paris isnât your dream y/n youâre chasing after him.âÂ
You heard her loud and clear, in fact you knew exactly what she was talking about. As much as you hate to admit you had been thinking the same thing for weeks now but how could you let him go. He was the missing puzzle piece, no he was the image youâre left with after the puzzle is completed. You had everything a girl in her mid twenties could ask for, the apartment in your dream city, the expensive shoes, the dream job and the dream boy. or at least you thought. No, you did and besides youâre not giving up your dream youâre simply moving it across an ocean. Yes, they have nice apartments in Paris, expensive shoes and people read magazines everywhere. It would take some time to find a job and some friends but once you got settled things would be the same, right?Â
âI heard you, now let's drop this conversation I already quit my job and besides we leave tomorrowâ you retort, taking a sip of your coffee hoping the warm beverage will help the lies come out smoother. She doesnât say anything for a moment in fact you forget sheâs even there. 1 beat 2 beats. âYou werenât even going to say goodbye to us? You can quit your job, throw away your shoes, hell even your hopes and dreams for some boy, but are we, am I that disposable to you.â pause âActually you know what never mind, forget I said anything. Have a nice life y/nâÂ
3 beats, 4 beats. And with that you were left in the silence again except this time she really was gone.Â
You walk into your shared apartment anxiously toying with your keys, the previous conversation replaying in your mind.Â
âBaby your home, can you help me with the-â he stops mid-sentence seeing the tears well up in your eyes.Â
âHey whatâs wrong? Things didnât go well with Aeri, I take it?â you nod finally letting the tears youâd been holding all night cascade down your face. Mark is quick to pull into his chest, one arm around your waist pulling you in close, rubbing circles on your back. âShe hates me. I donât know why she canât see things from my point of view. Everyone but her is happy for us, sheâs my best friend and her opinion means the world to me. I mean she was my best friend.â you say in between sobs.Â
He continues to listen as you drone on about her not understanding your feelings under the soft glow of the fluorescent lights.Â
You were going to tell them, you did plan on saying goodbye but everything happened so fast. Mark had gotten offered the deal of a lifetime last week and asked you to move with him. Although it was sudden you couldnât imagine your life without him. And with the long list of things you had to get done before the move like; putting the apartment up for sale, handing in your notice at work, packing, passports, visas, you simply forgot to deliver the good news to your family and friends.Â
When you called your parents this morning they expressed their excitement seeing you going on this adventure, truthfully they were just happy youâre happy, they know just how much you and Mark love each other. The other girls, Jimin, Minjeong and Yizhuo were all happy for you even if you knew deep down they had the same reservations as Aeri. She was the only person who didnât seem to understand, or the only one not cowardly enough to say it out loud. Sheâll come around eventually, right?Â
After 15 minutes of effectively soaking your boyfriend's t-shirt he breaks the silence âcome onâ he starts as he cups your face softly in his hands wiping the last of the tears away, âlet's get you to bed, we still have a few things to do before our flight tomorrowâ. And with that you let him lead you to the bedroom thoughts of your friendship pushed to the back of your mind as the excitement and slight anxiety takes over.Â
â----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday morning, First day in Paris
Before you knew it you were in Paris, standing in the lobby of the infamous Ritz Carlton. The company had booked a 5 night stay for you both while the deal was being finalised. Mark went off to get your room key while you stood admiring the crystal chandelier hanging above you. It was mesmerising, dazzling, the main star, the sun, the other lights danced around. He was standing at the front desk a few steps away, the lights above him creating a spotlight on him. There he was, your crystal chandelier, your sun and you were his earth quietly, forever orbiting around him.Â
âHeyâ his voice snaps you out of your haze, âletâs head up stairs yeahâ he takes your hand in his, the sound of hurried footsteps and soft giggles are all that's left as you both disappear into the elevator.
Ding!
You come to a stop on the top floor, the Imperial suite. The view up here was stunning. Breathtaking. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world, every morning you would be waking up to two of the most beautiful views, the Eiffel tower and your boyfriend.Â
Thump. There it was, that feeling again, you had been feeling this pang in your heart, a sort of longing like something was missing. If you were being honest you had been feeling this since your talk with Aeri yesterday, more specifically after she left standing alone outside your apartment.Â
The faint sound of a phone ringing pulls you out of your thoughts, you watch your boyfriend talk to someone on the phone, probably his manager.Â
 âRight now?â
âNo, that's fine Iâll be there. Can you give me 20 minutes? I'll shower and meet you at the studio.â he hangs up the phone making his way towards you. He stands in front of you staring in your eyes, âIâm so sorry I know we said we would spend the day together before I got too busy. But I promise you Iâll be back before 7, weâre still on for dinner right beautiful?âÂ
Mhm. You hum in response planting a quick peck on his lips âdonât worry about me Iâll go shopping for our date tonight.âÂ
To be quite honest you were upset it hadnât even been 24 hours and he was already too busy for you. Who were you kidding, did you really think it would be different, Manhattan to Paris the only change was your address. Maybe he just had no more room in his life for you. No, it sounded urgent, probably something with the contract, a typo or something. Youâre a big girl, you can spend the day alone in the hotel room, or better yet go out and buy yourself a new dress for dinner tonight.Â
âBesides I think Iâll go out and check out the stores around the areaâ he gives you one last squeeze before letting go and making his way into the shower.Â
Tshhh
The sound of the shower water interrupts the quiet of the room, wishing the water could just wash away all your worries.
â----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday night Â
Standing in front of the mirror admiring yourself in the strapless Versace dress you purchased earlier on. The sneaking suspicion that Mark wasnât going to make it home starts to creep up on you. He was always doing that, making plans with you and cancelling at the last minute, sometimes not even showing up and forgetting to call. You know how important his work is to him and how crazy his schedule can get sometimes. At the start of your relationship he made a point to always let you know if he was going to be late, sending flowers on the days he misses a date. But as time went on the flowers and calls started to slow down eventually coming to a stop. I mean you knew he didnât mean to, you didnât need gifts to know that he never meant to forget you, he never meant to keep you waiting.Â
The clock finally strikes seven and youâre sitting on the small couch at the end of the hallway, opposite the front door. Dazedly staring at the front door willing it to open, like a puppy waiting for its owner to return. Seven oâclock becomes eight, eight becomes nine, eventually it's Ten and you tire of waiting around so you decide to head to bed.Â
Itâs a quarter to Midnight when Mark returns, you spent the past thirty minutes tossing and turning, head full of questions, where could he be, was he alone, was he even thinking about you. He walks into the room, no he stumbles in knocking over a few perfume bottles that were on the dresser. You feign sleep, you're suddenly hit with the smell of alcohol. The bed dips next to you and soon enough you feel this lips on your cheeks, a quick bittersweet lingering kiss. The smell of alcohol is so overpowering you start to get dizzy. You feel a new emotion, not hurt, not disappointment, not hurt, but for the first time ever you were angry at him. While you were worried sick that he couldâve been somewhere out there lost in this foreign country where neither of you speak the language, or worse out dead in a ditch somewhere he was out drinking. Mark could be careless, inattentive, forgetful whatever you want to call it but never was he stupid.Â
â----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday morningÂ
The sun rose at 7 this morning, you hadnât slept at all last night, thoughts of what your future would look like if you decided to live here with him. Mark starts to stir in his sleep, finally waking up. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you towards his chest murmuring a quick âgood morning beautifulâ. When you donât respond he shifts slightly, lifting his head off the bed to get a good look at your face.Â
âBaby, hey Iâm sorry time just got away from me-â he starts, but you think it's pointless listening to the same speech youâve heard all these nights before. Mark was the best boyfriend a girl could ask for, that is when heâs not too consumed by his work. You see for him everything else would always come second to his love for music, and maybe one day you would be strong enough to handle that truth.Â
âDonât worry about it. I forgot myselfâ you interrupt him before he can finish, âYou have to get going, youâre going to be late for your important meeting.â you say albeit a bit too venomously for your liking, quickly sliding out of the bed and opting to sit by the window.Â
ây/nâ he starts but decides against it, instead deciding to give you your space.Â
At 8:30am you hear the door to your room close signalling Mark has left for the day. You guys barely spoke to each other at breakfast, a silent dance of tension. Every few minutes youâd shoot him a soft smile in an attempt to show him youâre not mad, or in an attempt to lie to yourself.Â
You had planned on going to see the cute cafes today while Mark was at his meeting, but after the events of last night you decide to stay in and wallow in self pity. Plus you have to console yourself before the dinner tonight with some music company executive that Mark kept droning on and on about on the flight over. You know this dinner is super important for his deal and no argument between the two will get in the way of that. So you swallow your hurt and anger, and decide to waste your time watching some random French drama.Â
â----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday nightÂ
At exactly 7pm Mark walks int through the front door. Of course heâs alwaysÂ
The happy couple, you walk hand in hand into the restaurant. Markâs manager greets you guys at the door, ushering you both to join the rest of the party inside.
 âMark, I want you to meet Mr. Devonâ his manager announces pushing Mark towards the older gentlemen.Â
As he let go of your hand for what felt like the millionth time, your picture perfect dream was starting to crumble all around you. All the painful memories, all the nights he left you waiting around for him, all the times he put his work, friends, colleagues before you, all the broken promises and forgotten dates.. Yes, forgotten, like you had forgotten your friends like they were something to check off a to-do list. But at the end of the day, you couldnât blame him, not really, no. Mark, he was only chasing after what was important to him, and that wasnât you, not anymore.
With your head hung low, you quietly make your way to your seat.Â
Once Mark is done making the rounds saying his hellos, he takes his seat next to you, intertwining his fingers with yours. And as you stare aimlessly down at your interlocked fingers, you catch a glimpse of the classouses on his hands from hours and hours of strumming his guitar mindlessly while writing lyrics. It then becomes painfully obvious to you, you donât belong here, at least not with him, not now, it was time for you to let go, let him run as fast and far as he can, chasing after his dreams. Slowly removing your hand from his you plant a soft kiss on his cheek letting your lips linger for a second before you whisper your last words of the night to him âI love you, Iâm sorry for doing this to you tonight but I wish you the best Markâ. You walk out of the restaurant refusing to look back, too afraid that one look into his beautiful tear filled irises would make you crumble on the spot.Â
Au revoir mon amour, if the universe wills it surely weâll meet again.Â
(Note: Hi đđœ if youâve made it this far thank you so much for reading for first ever fic. I started writing this based on Carrie & Mirandaâs argument and then just let the story take me where ever. Iâm thinking of maybe giving it a part 2, what do you think?)
#nct#nct dream#mark lee#nct 127#mark nct#mark lee x reader#mark angst#mark lee angst#nct x reader#nct dream angst#nct 127 angst#nct oneshot#nct dream oneshot#nct 127 x reader#nct dream x reader
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Am I the only one here that wants to play instruments for two reasons?
1 serenades for s.o.
2 annoy (in an affectionate way) said s.o. with silly music outta context
For example: she's immersed in doin stuff n all of sudden I'm appearing right beside her playing timber by Kesha n pitbull with a saxophone or trumpet
But also sing her can't help falling in love with you with my guitar
-đ«
Lmao love the juxtaposition of your reasons
Fair enough!! It sounds like itâd be really cute and fun if youâre into that sort of thing :)!!!
I donât think I have the patience for serenading or listening to a dedicated serenade though if Iâm being honest so idk if that would be my thingđ
Maybe itâs a bit of a surprise considering the nature of this blog but tbh I get a bit uncomfortable with super intimate moments or just times when someone pays too much attention to me or does something for me so trying to imagine a prolonged serenade where thereâs all the eye contact and the different things to pay attention to and how Iâd have to be careful of my reaction and how to phrase it to make my appreciation actually come across right idk it sounds so stressful to međ
#asks#also i was in band from junior high through high school#so i think im immune to people playing instruments at me lol#ya girl was section leader and a captain#there were Many annoying instrument moments#idk im also not a big fan of like playful annoying and definitely not pranks or anything so!!#this ones not exactly my cup of tea!!#but i imagine a lot of people really like the romance of it all#my first thought that came to mind was that âhot boy with a guitarâ trope in like teen romance movies lol#GOTTA be popular with people considering how often that trope came up#đ«
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2023 reads //Â twitter thread
To Shape A Dragonâs Breath
YA fantasy
a young Indigenous girl finds & bonds with a dragon hatchling - the first time in many generations for her people - and is required to go to the coloniserâs dragon academy in their mainland city, to learn how to raise her dragon and the science of its magic
historical inspired setting on the cusp of industrial revolution with steampunk vibes
bi polyamorous MC, Black lesbian SC, nonverbal autistic SC
#To Shape A Dragonâs Breath#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#this is really really good i loved it!#the chapter titles are all like snippets of a story. or like sentence fragments that match up. which is cool#it is definitely more about being indigenous in a coloniser institution than Dragon School - not Super dragon heavy if you want that#I suspect the subsequent books will get into that when she gets big enough to ride and stuff#tâs also def YA! iâve seen a few ppl assume itâs adult and be like its very young :( but like. I mean its perfectly reasonable for a 15yo m#definitely a Lot of racism and colonialism which is not fun to read! though it's still through a YA lens. there was def a part of me that#was imagining consequences of the narrative as if it were an adult novel#on that line of thought - at the end a lot of it is kind of solved by them going to the king and he's is like. oh no racism is happening?#that's bad i'll deal with those people! which felt like. a little simplistic. but maybe the easiest way to end the narrative for book 1 -#I don't think the author ACTUALLY is going to portray the king as a Good Guy throughout the series - it just felt conveniently like -#a simple YA solution to some very big and complex elements? if that makes sense? (but again - it is YA so it's allowed I suppose!)#some of the worldbuilding (like all the science learning) is probably setup for next books - we donât really see any practical application#the romances are also subtle and not Overbearing In Book One which i like - leave some space for the series!#also her getting fanmail from a 10yo mixed race girl who looks up to her đ„ș#anyway. i really loved it!#oh also it reminded me a little of leviathan. i guess just the steampunk/time period/european culture....#To Shape A Dragon's Breath
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Question, just... in general.
Why do so many F/O Imagine Blogs with Proship DNI tag their clearly romantic imagines with "Familial F/O"? Do they mean this in an incest way or not?
#Familial F/O#Self Ship#Proship Self Ship#Look I don't normally care or go into the Basic Self Ship Tag#But currently I'm looking for Platonic F/O posts and getting a lot of General Romance tagged Platonic and Familial#that also have Proship dni banners instead of being tagged as such#(which is a tag I have blocked so if it was tagged I wouldn't see or interact with it)#And I'm just really curious what you mean by that#'Imagine kissing your F/O sloppy style on the mouth! - PROSHIP DNI' (tagged Familial F/O)#Like what. What do you mean by that.#Because I can ONLY assume you mean it in an incest way#Which is a really interesting post from someone whomst I assume hates Shipcest sooooo#What gives? Why are you doing that?#Is it for reach? Because all you're doing is annoying people who want non-romantic Self Ship posts by doing it for Reach#Some of us don't want to kiss our Familial F/Os so if you could not tag your explicitly romantic posts as Platonic/Familial that'd be great#This rant is stupid sorry I do want to kiss some of my Familial F/Os but that's not the point
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Whats your idea of a perfect date
Perfect date? In my eyes, it's all about the little things.
I don't have a license and I don't want to have one, but it would start with a good drive while I play passenger princess, enjoying the open road. I don't trust myself behind a wheel, but I love being driven around, I love velocity and long long trips. Sometimes I do enjoy the car drive more than the destination, but welp
Stopping by a pub or a dark, smoky bar with a jazz band playing in the background. Good drinks, good music...or a cafe and share a good cappuccino - each with their own. I dunnot share my caffeine
Followed by a moonlit stroll in a beautiful park by a river, ending with⊠watching the stars together
Sitting on a rooftop with a view of the city could also be fun, even though I'm afraid of heights
Maybe some more pleasurable activities afterwards, if we feel so inclined
But, alas, I don't exactly believe in perfect dates. Life is too messy and unpredictable for perfectly curated moments.
#asks#anon#lgbtqia#lesbian#all this to say: i've never been on a real date not really#i just write a lot of romance and live through my characters while romancing myself inside my head#why the sudden romantic asks tho#did i receive this around february?#...#no! this was in august!#anyway yeah dated a considerable amout of people but never went on a real romantic clichĂ© date#ngl i think i've been on more romantic-ish âdatesâ with my best friend than any other person#agh okay i shouldn't have said that imagining my dear girl in a romantic way is making my skin crawl#not that she aitn a gorgeous lil thing but she is _not_ my type and she's like a sister to me </3 and she is os so very straight#it's as one of my friends says: some people are just good for hookups and that's how it is#actually#book shopping date? sounds extremely perfect if you ask me#oof wait can you imagine a cosplay date? now that would scratch an itch i'm sure#ohohohohohohohohohoh date at the theatre? concert date?#gay#very gay#maybe the zoo? i've never been to a proper zoo#actually i think i've written so much romance i became my own ideal date who absolutely egotistical is that#*gasp* good omens date that turns into a good shag because we can't take the tension between the two idiots? hm yes#i would maybe even consider a dancing related date but i don't dance#not in a dignified way anyway#could it be considered a date if you both just bring your laptops and write gay fanfics together? cause that sounds delicious#âtrying to write some smut are we? c'mere lemme give ya some inspirationâ
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augh the ot3 and saimatsu...... i just love themb so so so so so much there are so few ships i feel this strongly about... nine times out of ten if i "ship" something it's in a sorta hypothetical way where i hardly ever imagine them doing romantic things together and more just. i like them when they stand next to each other and their dynamic is good/silly/tragic/etc. but saimatsu and saiibomatsu make me so unwell (positive) like. if my aro romance repulsed ass is imagining a ship getting married i have it BAD for them ok
#ot3posting#ALSO KIIBO IS ARO TO ME fbshfjdh see what i mean#i dont think it comes across very well in my art/posts#but i do see the kiibo parts of the polycule as being distinctly queerplatonic in a way#not because it's lesser than shuichi & kaedes relationship but just bc that's how kiibo is and thats how it works out!!!#i imagine his confession went something like#'i love being your friend and it feels so special to me but i don't really want a big change in our relationship-#-i just want you both to know how much i feel it and how important it is to me'#and shu/kae r the ones who do more typical romancey stuff but that doesnt mean they dont all#spend time together and hug and kiss and say i love you etc whatever else couples do#i just think. it's all very new for them both romance and esp polyamory#they wanna break away from boxes and preconcieved notions and just be their own people for healing purposes#so they just let it be. theyre important to each other and are each others partners and that's all that matters#plus i love qpr saimatsu too#and its a little hard for me to conceptualize romance without any kind of Aroness to it yknow#so i like to sprinkle it into my fave ships. im having lots of fun#anyway more absolute nonsense from me i'll be here all week
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made a small personal edit to a piercing mod (changed one pair of earrings into a single earring and then changed the stone color) and... yeah i think i really like this:
gale decides to leave his earring at the foot of mystra's statue after the confrontation at stormshore tabernacle, as a small form of catharsis for himself after having defied his goddess and ex-lover. elenion doesn't press him about it because they know how difficult this all must be for him, and they've got so many other things to worry about anyway. sometime not too long before their wedding date gale tells elenion he wants to get a new earring to represent a new chapter in his life (and also because he keeps trying to stim by dangling his earring and forgetting it's not there anymore) and elenion takes gale to their favorite jewelry shop so he can pick out something nice. gale goes in with nothing specific in mind but an earring resembling a gold sun catches his eye and he chooses it to go with his husband-to-be's favorite pair of silver moon earrings. that's the headcanon i've decided on!
#baldur's gate 3#gale x tav#gale dekarios#oc: elenion silverdew#otp: you put the stars to shame#i have thought... so much about this okay#and a lot of people seem really insistent that gale needs to remove/replace his earring IMMEDIATELY because it's a reminder of his ex#but like she's not just his ex. mystra is also the literal goddess of magic and as a wizard magic is his LIFE#unfortunately he can't completely forget her or stop worshipping her#i do wish he got rid of the earring after stormshore tabernacle whether you romanced him or not#because you helped show him there's more to life. it'd be like how SH changes her hair even if you don't romance her#but he doesn't need to replace it right after that (or at all if he doesn't want to).#he needs time and patience and the space to wait until he's ready and then decide for himself what to do#which is why i imagine him not getting a new earring until maybe a couple weeks before he and elenion are to be married#ANYWAY. gale may not be a particularly sun-coded character but to elenion he is their sun and stars âïžâš#they have never met anyone more bright and warm and beautiful than gale dekarios đđ#also whoops. i once again wrote a tag essay instead of just writing my thoughts in the post!#creme don't look
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the performance went well and the boy is sure boyfriending and it's all so good that i don't even want to write about it because it's already a poem. all of it.
#i genuinely cannot say anything else because it's just incoherent but he makes me feel so GENDER and im so HAPPY and my BED smells like BOY#and we make good theatre and i have nice friends who also make good theatre with me#and we all work on each others poems#and it's just really nice man#obviously we've been flirting a lot in our drama class because yknow. it's drama and we're gay people#and today i was sat by him on the floor and we were leaning on each other and whatever like it was a bit romance#and our drama teacher (lecturer? it's not a lecture. whatever) looked me straight in the eyes and then grinned to herself#and i was just imagining her telling all her drama colleagues like#GUYS THEY FINALLY DID IT#THEY FINALLY STOPPED FLIRTING AND GOT TOGETHER#YOU ALL OWE ME A FIVER
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2023 reads // twitter thread  Â
City of Nightmares
1920s insp fantasy city where people can turn into their worst nightmares if they donât take dream-preventing medication
a girl with anxiety & pstd from her sister turning, living in a maybe-cult, ends up in the centre of a criminal conspiracy
you can pry a platonic reading of the main relationship out of my cold dead hands
#City of Nightmares#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#i really enjoyed this!!!#maybe theres some eh thigns about it but i have decided to love it. thanks#it definitely kept going in directions i wasnât expecting#i think i enjoyed the first half more in terms of plot direction tho?#a lot of times i had to just stop what i was doing and make a face jdghkjfs#girl u sleep curled up in the closetâŠâŠ#also sy bestie you are so kovit-coded. he just has daddy issues instead of mommy issues#i respect an author with an agenda#also#alloromantics are so fragile. theres so many reviews like âthis character went on a SEVEN PAGE RANT about how TERRIBLE relationships and mon#monogamy areâ âthe authorâs SHOVING her views about HATING ROMANCE into her book AGAINâ#broâŠ..literally thereâs just some musings on being sad when your friend abandons you for a relationship and personally not getting it#and how romanticisation of abuse is badâŠâŠâŠ.it is not that blatant and also all perfectly reasonableâŠ.#and then thereâs people butthurt about the ending of MoM. like wow so sorry a series ended in friendship instead of a romance.#sucks thereâs no other books in the world that do end in romance. i canât imagine what it would be like to not be able to find books like th#at.#no romance#***probably i guess we'll see how book 2 goes#at the very end her other friend teases her for ''liking'' him and shes like yeah hes my friend.#which is of course One Of Those Tropes#but idk.....i think i trust the author...#also wait i said sy but is it cy. i listened to the audiobook
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DAY-SHIFT. (p. sh)
â part one here! After finding out that your boss has seen, heard, and instructed you through some pleasurable nights while parading around as a faceless cam-boy, you decide that your best course of action is to: call out sick. use vacation days. avoid Park Sunghoon at all costs. Unfortunately, ten days doesnât appear to be nearly enough time to erase whatâs happened, and Sunghoon refuses to be avoided. or the one where sunghoon pretends that he isnât an anxious mess over accidentally exposing himself and you just so happen to have a lot of fucking empathy.Â
minors dniÂ
PAIRING â boss / cam boy!sunghoon x afab reader Â
WORDCOUNTâ 14.5kÂ
CONTENTâ forbidden office romance kind of, smidge of angst if ur sensitive, mentions of predatory behavior from sunghoon, he is more desperate than he is dominant, just the way we like it.
NOTE â bro im so sorry this took way too long to write, it also is way longer than it's supposed to be. but yknow. i had to do him right lmfao. NOT PROOF READ.
nsfw tags under cut
nsfw tagsâ perverted sunghoon, heavy petting, making out, foreplay on a chair lol, desk sex, very intimate shit ok? ok., pussy eating, jerking off, finger fucking, fingers-in-mouth antics, gagging, implications of something more than just an office fling, unprotected sex, he fills you UP!!! YIPEE!!!Â
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Avoidance.
That is the only way you know out of any awkward or unsavory situation. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Find a new job, change your name, dye your hairâ question all of your life choices up to this point.
Itâs the fact that never in your life have you had an interest in live sex cams. It was always just a porn video or a nice erotic novel for you. Sometimes curiosity gets the best of you though, like it does all people, and itâs not like you thought anyone would ever know who you are or catch you in the act of feeding into your curiosities.Â
The one time you ever navigated to the live camera feed on your favorite porn site did shift your sexual appetite a little bit. A whole new world of seeing exactly what you want without needing to search for far too long for that perfect videoâŠfor a cost, of course.
You made good money already, and itâs not like you werenât going for that promotion at the time either. You thought, why not? Why not pay a pretty, faceless man for some anonymous jerking off and move on with your life?Â
The one time you found something to satiate the late night body-cravings, the point of pleasure ended up beingâŠyour boss?
Small world? Miniscule, fucking tiny little world.Â
For days you wondered if Sunghoonâs text to you was just a coincidence. After all, the faceless man on screen didnât say a word to you after you uttered the name of your boss. Even if he directly said your name. Even if Park Sunghoon uttered your false name at work.Â
Consistent back and forth in your head. From, âNo, how could that even be possible? No way is it him.â to âbut Mr.Park started being weird after the first call, he used both names, he played off of the boss/employee dynamic.ïżœïżœïżœ
Youâre going crazy as you send another email to your department, apologizing for taking so many days off but not truly apologetic. Itâs been ten days now and Sunghoon has yet to text you again.Â
That little âCan we talk?â can be heard in your head in his voice. Only now recognizing how clear and unique it truly is when he does speak. You try not to realize how similar the cam-boy sounded to him. Only connecting the dots when they force you to do it, really. You still try to convince yourself that the text was about firing you, given his actions at work that very same day.Â
Maybe he was avoiding you because he felt awful about needing to fire you?Â
Maybe he sent that text message to start the process of pushing you out?Â
After all, itâs still very difficult to imagine Park Sunghoon having a cock that nice, or cum in that amount. Given, itâs not like you ever thought about him jerking off or anything, itâs justâ
You donât fucking know. Your brain is a mess of shaking anxiety and echoes of sexual frustrations and moans.Â
You were refunded your money. He texted after the session. He said your name. Itâs him, isnât it?
You refuse to fucking find out.
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From:...[ [email protected] ]
CC:...[ [email protected] ]
BCC:...
Subject: Time off Request: Rejected. Insufficient PTO.
[insert your name here],
The time you have requested from the 27th to the 3rd has been rejected due to insufficient hours. As of last Thursday, you are no longer meeting the minimum hour requirement as a full-time employee. Your PTO is at 0 hours and 00 minutes and you now have three unexcused absences. Please return tomorrow with a signed order or note that exempts you from work. If you move forward without returning to the building, this will be grounds for termination. Please review the company handbook and job abandonment guidelines.Â
Additionally, COO Lee, myself, and Division manager Park will be scheduling a meeting with you in the upcoming days, failure to appear will result in immediate termination.
Thank you,
HR
Well, fuck. You knew the time to avoid this would dry up, and this ten day hideaway to fake your death didnât quite pan out.
Devastating, truly, that you have to walk through those doors with the same legs your boss may or may not have seen spread open for him through a grainy webcam image. Horrifying, that you have to look him in the eye and explain that you really were sick for the past ten days, that you definitely were not hiding the shame of your sexual desires.
The worst part about all of this? Not just the embarrassment but the fact thatâŠyou liked it. On that night, had he admitted it was him, you may not have ended the call yourself. It felt like it added some danger to your arousal at the time. Which, naturally, makes you more embarrassed now. Mostly because, at worst if that was Mr.Park, it was predatory. At best though? You very well may have consented.
But the what ifs donât matter now. The only thing that matters is forcing yourself through the awkwardness of being at work after avoiding it for so long already.
Fortunately for you though, work isâŠweirdly normal. In fact, no one acts like youâve missed ten days at all. You are greeted by the usual co-workers, you sit down at your desk and can log in as usual, and there are no warning emails or invitations for what would be considered a meeting of termination either.Â
The day goes by just fine, suspiciously so. Sunghoon, though youâre avoiding him at the moment, doesnât appear to be too out of character either. At one point, you were forced to drop corrected paper work off in his office, and he gave you the same usual and small âThank youâ before you stepped out with your legs threatening to buckle.Â
Then again, his âcasualâ appreciation could just be your mind playing positive little tricks on you. Maybe it wasnât casual at all. Maybe that little uncharacteristic breath afterwards isnât just in your head. You didnât make eye contact with him during that brief moment, and you did rush out quite quickly so you wouldnât really know. However, in the deepest part of your brain his voice really does match the one who said all those dirty things to you.Â
Maybe youâre still overreacting.
Or maybe you dreamed all of this up.Â
You choose to remain unaware of the awkwardness around you solely because everything else is normal. Deep, deep down, you know. But youâre not giving that truth a chance to thrive or run your brain anymore.
And just as the day comes to an end, youâre actually feeling better. Anxiety is draining out of you, fear and embarrassment sit dormant in some hidden part of your brain over the small possibility of virtually fucking your boss. It seems youâve let this work day clear up all of that fear in your head.
You were wrong, right? It wasnât him, right? Heâd have tried to defend himself by now. What boss wouldnât be absolutely terrified that youâd report him, anyway? After all of that?
You actually feel a little dumb at the possibility of Mr. Park ever wanting you sexually, or ever even wanting to speak to you in that way. Asking to see your pussy? Telling you how to touch it? No, thatâs definitely not him. Couldnât be him.Â
And your eyes do stray after a little while. Just to steal glimpses into his office, feeling relieved and weightless now that it appears your fears are over and finally understood. Doesnât change the fact that now when you look at him, you might be wildly fucking attracted to him. Because fuck, imagine if that was him. Youâre kind of forced to put his image to the faceless cam-boy now, not that you want to do that or anything. It justâŠyou canât really blame yourself for it.
You lend yourself a little laugh. As happy as you are that youâre able to convince yourself that itâs not Sunghoonâs cock youâve yearned for, you really wouldnât mind sleeping with someone as handsome as him.Â
Crazy how the lack of anxiety lets you think those types of things though, isnât it? When your brain is no longer fogged by fear or embarrassment, itâs like the clarity can sometimes be scarier simply because you donât know how true certain statements are. Even through all of that fear, maybe a part of you wished it was him.Â
Even with the weight on your shoulders lifted, in hindsight, maybe youâre even a little disappointed that it wasnât.Â
And, just as youâre preparing to clock out and head home with a big secret crush and a little pep in your step, you hear the familiar notification of an email. No problem, probably just a daily report or something.Â
From:...[ [email protected] ]
CC:...
BCC:...
Subject: Mandatory Advising
[insert your name here],
Please come to my office before you leave for the day to discuss your conduct as of late.Â
Thank you,
Park Sunghoon
Division Manager
000-000-0000 ext. 000
Well, double fuck. To think everything was fine despite you being well aware of that shit HR said to you previously?Â
You barely recognize how the email is sent directly to you from Mr. Park, not including HR or COO Lee. In fact, the anxiety wells up inside of you so quickly that you nearly have to dry heave a few times before taking a deep breath.Â
In your head, itâs not even about the web-cam session with a faceless man anymore. Your anxiety about that died the moment you successfully lied to yourself enough, now youâre genuinely just afraid youâll lose your job or that beloved promotion you worked so hard to be qualified for. You just had to let your anxiety run your life for the past ten days, didnât you? After all, skipping work to such an extent? Everyone had to have known that it was a lie eventually. Â
So, you stand to your feet, brush off your thighs, and attempt to keep your heart from pounding as you make your way to Mr. Parkâs office expecting to see HR, COO Lee, and a severance package on the desk waiting for your signature.Â
Instead, you walk in to just find your boss. Heâs looking at you as he normally would, eyes focused on his screen before glancing at you for a moment and nodding his head to one of the chairs in front of his desk.Â
âMr. Parkââ You start, nearly wincing at the way you say it because, well, you havenât said it since the night you had your pussy out on display. Itâs only natural to physically react, right?
âOne moment.â He says in a small voice, clicking a few times with the mouse as you watch the monitor light shine across his cheeks with each window he minimizes.Â
Itâs silent for a few moments as you awkwardly look around an office youâve been in countless times. His lights are always dimmed, the temperature is always comfortable. Youâre gonna miss this office, though itâs not your own. It was a nice, brief escape before all of this if youâre being honest.Â
âHow was work for you today?â He turns his attention to you, finally adjusting and rolling his chair to center himself in front of you behind his deskÂ
You pause at the question, unintentionally tilting your head at it like a puppy. âGood? Normal, I guess?âÂ
You watch as he nods with a tight-lipped expression, eyes falling to his desk as he takes in a deep and disappointed sounding breath.Â
âWell, thatâs one of us.â He huffs out, causing you to feel a bit confused with his tone. Is he beingâŠpassive aggressive? And when he snaps his eyes from his desk straight to your own confused gaze, you can almost sense a bit of something else in them compared to usual.Â
Not anger. Not disappointment.Â
He looks worried.
âEleven daysââ Sunghoon drones on with an exhausted tone, cutting himself off with another breath that shows you were right to assume his current displayed emotion. âYou have ignored my text messages for eleven days.âÂ
Youâre shocked by that because as far as youâre concerned, he has not texted you.
âWhat are youââ You furrow your brows at him, frantically pulling out your phone. âYou havenât texted me. See? The last one I got wasââ You take a second as you pull up his texts and remember the exact time he texted you. So late into the night, right afterâŠthat. Naturally, you silence yourself, afraid to say it out loud.
âOn the contrary,â Sunghoon denies your proof. âI texted from my personal phone.â
You hesitate again, looking down and noting the notifications under the tab of âmessage requests.â To be fucking fair though, you didnât even know that existed so you never really paid attention to it. Especially as you practically avoided your phone out of fear that heâd be texting you again.Â
You were thankful he didnât. That comforted you. Now though? Your comfort is replaced yet again with anxiety because, well, he texted you consistently after that night.
âOhââ You say quietly, seeing a glimpse of âPlease, let me call yââ in one of the messages.
âI didnât see those.â Quickly, you turn your screen off and shove your phone back into your pocket, nervously clasping your hands in front of you and looking to the floor.Â
âI will reiterate then.âÂ
You can hear the leather on his chair squeak against his expensive suit when he leans forward, both hands splayed out on his desk in a wide and intimidating stance in front of you.Â
âWaitââ You look around the office now. âIf youâre going to fire meâ shouldnât the others be here too?â
Sunghoon pulls back at that, narrowing his eyes before lending a very small and even more nervous chuckle.
âIâm not firing you. I told them Iâd take care of your sudden and, quite frankly, unhelpful vacation.âÂ
You look to the floor again, feeling scolded for your actions but having a genuine reason. If Sunghoon truly is aware of that reason for your absence, he understands too, right?
âI have been beyond inappropriate with you.â He blurts now, that same leather squeaking as he leans back again and looks away from you the moment you snap your head up. âI have reason to believe youâve not yet reported me, and Iâd like to ask for the opportunity to explain myself before you do.âÂ
You feel a chill wash over your whole body, cold sweat peaking right at your temples as you stare forward. Heâs being so professional about this, and that lie youâve convinced yourself of is showing itâs face as just that, a fucking lie.
So this is it?Â
So there it is? A semi-admittance that it was him? That little feeling in the back of your head that wishes it was diminishes within an instant. In fact, you narrow your eyes at him, your nose crinkles, and you feel frustration bubble up in your gut.
âSo you admit that it was you?â You ask, needing a full confirmation.Â
âYes.â Sunghoon sighs, leaning back somehow further, creating as much distance from you as possible before unintentionally rolling his eyes. Mostly due to the fact that he was stupid enough to let this happen, mostly to shame himself. âWhat I did was inappropriate and unacceptable. I didnât intend for this to ever happen.â
Now you feel a bitâŠpissed off.
Like? Oh, he didnât intend for this to happen? What? You mean he didnât intend to let you fucking find out! Well, as good as he is at playing the part of a slutty man on the internet, heâs not so good at acting in real life, now is he? Saying your false fucking name at work, saying your real name with his cock out?
What in the fuck are you supposed to do about this? Why is he giving you the ability to report him? Heâs the one with the power here. He could fire you now and bury the information if he so pleased. After all, Heâs besties with COO Lee, right? That bitch in HR has an obsession with him too. Hell, everyone here loves the guy.Â
Youâre just a bottom of the barrel employee trying to work your way up. If you got him fired, surely heâd make damn sure you never work for a decent company like this one again. Additionally, you donât even want to report him.
Yeah, it was fucking weird that he just knew it was you and kept going. Super strange that he had to have known after the first call, only to ask to see you in the second one. Why does that turn you on in the midst of this anxiety induced spiral? Why the fuck is the idea of Park Sunghoon apologizing for masturbating to and for you so alluring?!Â
Sure, maybe itâs kind of nice knowing that someone of his status would ever find an interest in you, but it doesnât quite wash the frustration away. You have every right to question, and every right to be pissed off about it.Â
Still, in this quiet room, Sunghoon is stoic and all you can think about when you look at him is the way he said âif I were your boss iâdââ and the way he fucked his palm while saying it, implying he wanted it to be you while simultaneously knowing it was you watching.Â
Since fucking when did Mr. Park ever show a sexual interest in you? And if he did, why the fuck couldnât he have just been normal about it?
âThat was really fucked up, you know that?â You argue immediately, voice shaking at the speed of which your emotions shift. Your resolve isnât quite as clear as it probably should be. Perhaps you should report him, or maybe you already should have. But, itâs not like you accepted the truth until he demanded it of you.
You would have let it slide. Both of you could have pretended it never happened. You couldâve gone home and continued working, never paying a cam-boy again had Sunghoon not called you into this stupid, comfortable ass office.Â
âIn my defense, I was just doing my job. Though itâs my own fault for not telling you, my job here was at risk if you had found out.â
âYou made me talk about you.â You roll your eyes at him now, gaining the power and control over the conversation. âAnd you thought I wouldnât find out?! What? Did that get you off or something?â
âIââ Sunghoon stops himself from answering that question truthfully. He quickly tries to explain away the stutter instead. Never has he been scolded by an employee, but youâre well within your rights to do so. âI wasnât in my right mind. I never get called by name during these sessions and I apologize for having you say it.â
âAnd you want me to report you?â You raise a brow at him. âWant me to just storm right into HR and tell her how youâre a fucking pervert? Want me to tell her how you told me to repeat your name? To thank you for it? Is that really what you want?âÂ
Are you enjoying yourself a little too much? Maybe.
Sunghoon doesnât respond though, instead, he runs his hand through his hair and sighs from the stress welling up inside of him. He can only act calm and collected for so long, and itâs been eleven days already. He hates how hearing you say those words goes straight to his cock at a time like this, he hates even more how all of this could have been avoided if he had simply declined your second call.Â
But youâre not wrong. He is a pervert, and he did tell you to thank him for the pleasure you were getting from his voice and half image alone. At the time, he was so turned on he really just couldnât help himself. You fed his sexual appetite unknowingly and now this is the consequence of his action. Being a known pervert.
Is it what he wants though? To be reported? Humiliated?
Fuck.
Arguably, just having you humiliate him like this is enough. Drives him crazy, really. Whether it be from arousal or guilt, or both.Â
And for the first time since you started working here, you see him for what he truly is. A strong man to an extent, but heâs crumbling under his own mistake and it makes you wonder just how far he wouldâve taken it had you not found out.Â
âAnd what if I didnât realize who I was fucking myself for?â You glare. âWould you have asked for more? Avoided me here even more? Would you have declined my application for the assistant position because you canât come to terms with the fact that youâre a fucking pervert?!â
Sunghoon raises his hands in defense.Â
âPleaseââ His voice sounds panicked. âPlease, keep your voice down.â
âAnswer the question, then. Just fucking own it at this point.â You throw your arms up now, letting them fall back down in a slap to your thighs. âWould you have made my work-life miserable just so you could watch me get off to you? Knowing the whole time? Would you have kept on with that boss slash employee shit just so it felt more real for you?âÂ
Staring forward at him, you watch him accept that everything youâre saying is likely exactly what would have happened. Maybe he really will try to own it. Which would be⊠a good thing if you decide to let your own resolve falter.
So fucking secretive, huh? An actual, real life degenerate? And itâs Sunghoon of all people?Â
âMaybeâŠâ Sunghoon trails off, making himself seem much smaller than he usually is on a day-to-day basis. âI mean, NoâI,â
Oh, heâs actually stuttering.
âAnd you want me to tell on you? You want me to fuck your life up?â You raise a brow. âAs if I didnât pay you to do it?â
In all honesty, aside from the anxiety and awkwardness, and despite never once thinking of Sunghoon too sexually, things have changed. Drastically. Especially after being confronted with this situation and heâs not intimidating you or using his power to control you. No, heâs giving you the power and quite frankly, you donât know what to do with it.Â
Are you basking in it? Absolutely. Is it nice to see him cower in front of you? In that big plush chair that costs more than your monthly income? Hell yeah.
But goddamn, had he approached you before all of this and asked for a date, or showed interest, you would have gladly partaken in a secret romance with him. Heâs intelligent, attractive, clean, and has money. Itâs not like you ever expected the guy to go home and fuck himself on camera.Â
You never thought he was the type to be so lonely either. Or so desperate, judging by how he acted during those two sessions. Arguably, you always wondered why there was never a ring on those pristine fingers.Â
And while you were definitely the victim in this situation, you feel more embarrassed than you do violated. Many nights you thought of how he spoke, how he said how badly he wanted you. Itâs embarrassing because youâre starting to love the idea of who those words really came from. The Park Sunghoon, so untouchable in the business world. So untouchable by women and men solely because he appears to be too expensive, too pristine.
But youâŠ
Youâve seen him dirty.Â
Part of you wishes you didnât pay to be humiliated like this. The rest of you wishes you didnât fucking like it as much as you do.
âItâs only fair.â Sunghoon explains with a short breath. âI feel awful for what Iâve done, and I should have told you the moment I recognized her as, wellââ He pauses with a pained face, as if he hates hearing himself say it. âYou.â
âThen, why didnât you?â You raise your brow again, nearly forgetting youâre at work, solely focused on the conversation at hand and feeling relieved at the way itâs going.
Sunghoon shifts in discomfort, looking away from you.
âDo you want honesty?â He asks in a quiet voice, leaning forward on his desk but refusing eye contact. He keeps his gaze lowered the entire time, his voice small and shaky.Â
Thereâs still people in the office, though his door is closed and itâs unlikely he can be heard.
You nod to him with an even smaller âGo on then.â
âI tried to convince myself that it wasnât you.â He says, shifting his hands and picking at his cuticles.Â
Man, he really knows how to act sorry, doesnât he?
âI avoided you after that first call, solely because I think I wanted her to be you. Which isâŠincredibly inappropriate.âÂ
He looks up at you now, searching for a reaction and only seeing you nod at him. His eyes shift right back down as he continues.Â
âMy avoiding you led you toâ umâ more services.â He explains quieter, admitting in full the situation heâs allowed to take place, seeming more and more insecure with his words than he ever has before. âI can admit that I have fantasies and needs.âÂ
Silence.Â
âAfter that first call, I couldnât help but be entirely attracted to you. The idea ofââ
You suddenly find yourself thinking back to all of those things he said to you again, parading as if he wasnât your boss, telling you what he'd do if he were. He seems to have accidentally found a sexual interest in the dynamicâŠand he fucking dragged you into it with him.Â
âMr. Parâ Sunghoon.â You cut him off, actually feeling a bit of pity now at his admittance.Â
His words make you feel like maybe heâs not entirely just a pervert who was intending to make you get off to him from the start. If anything, he probably felt uncomfortable at first knowing who was on the other end of the call. Itâs the fact that his real life job was at risk if you found out, and still he indulged despite that. He accepted that second call, he asked for more, he acted like he really does want you.
 To the extent that losing his job was in the front of his mind and he still did it. He ignored the danger of it and prioritized getting offâŠwith you. You find yourself wondering if this would have happened to any other employee under him if they happened to stumble across his stream too.Â
Part of you wants to pretend he wouldnât, because the idea that all of this is happening solely because it was you? It hits a little too hard, a little too deep.Â
âOkay, okay. Stop,â You say, keeping your eyes on him and willing him to look up at you. âYou donât have to keep explaining, I get it.â
âNo.â He does meet your eye this time, stopping your brain of all thoughts at how differently you see him now versus all the times before. âI do.âÂ
Heâs so honest. Probably too honest for his own good. Maybe thatâs why heâs so good at his job, maybe thatâs why everyone loves him. Maybe a bit of lying would help him in this situation if it were anyone else, but for you?Â
You kind of enjoy the way heâs telling the truth. Admitting that he was desperate, apologizing for wanting you even if just for a brief moment.
âI asked you to turn on your camera for selfish reasons. I asked you to say my name, then I made the mistake of exposing myself because Iââ He hesitates, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply through his nose. âI struggled to pretend it wasnât me, and that she wasnât you. I very well knew what I was doing, and at the time, I wished that you did too.â
More silence as you stare at him, stunned, slightly in awe.Â
âBut I knew you wouldnât have reciprocated. What Iâve done is criminal, and I am encouraging you to report me for it if thatâs what you deem necessary.âÂ
âAnd if I donât?â You donât leave any more room for silence now, feeling desired and validated.Â
You canât pretend that youâre mad, though you were previously. You simply canât pretend that, now at least, you wouldnât reciprocate. If anything, youâre more interested now than you think you ever would have been before.Â
âWe can forget any of this ever happened. Iâll stop streaming and accepting private calls, and we can hopefully move forward without any ill-feelings of one another.â He blinks at you, near pleading with his eyes. âIâll push your application throughâ That is, if you still want the position.âÂ
Sunghoon does wince at the bribe, considering heâs never done such a thing let alone commit acts of sexual harassment, or perhaps even non consensual foreplay with someone. It really really wasnât entirely intentional, and heâs disgusted with himself. If you report him, heâd take the hit to his reputation and career, but if you donâtâŠwhat then?
Ill-feelings, he says? If anything, you might feel more ill parading around like you wouldnât want him to do all of those things he said previously, with free-will to say as he pleased without the fear of you knowing who the words were coming from.Â
âCan you please stop with the professional talk?â You hum out with an exhausted eye roll. âI donât want the promotion if youâre just offering it so I donât rat you out.â You narrow your eyes now and lean yourself forward. âYou hope to forget this ever happened? Really?âÂ
Carefully, the two of you watch each other for a while longer. Sunghoon looking like heâs about to catch himself on fire, and you, looking annoyed and amused. Still, the thick air in the room starts to feel suffocating under the pressure of the âissueâ at hand as you scold him further.Â
âWhat you did was predatory. Butâ I donât want to ruin your life over this.âÂ
You watch as Sunghoon listens, his posture opening up a bit more as you speak, showing that heâs being relieved of his stress through your words alone.Â
âAre you trying to hold a promotion over my head over this?â
Before he gets the chance to curl in on himself again, you answer for him.Â
âMaybe.âÂ
You continue too, not letting him speak for the time being. Or, rather, giving him a chance to breathe.Â
âShould you change your username and continue doing what you want behind closed doors because itâs no one elseâs business?â You really watch him this time. âYes.âÂ
He blinks at you, raising a brow in slight confusion.Â
âDid you take advantage of me?â
He nods before you whisper out another âyesâ yourself.Â
âWould I let you do it againâŠ?â
Oh, for Sunghoon, itâs hard to breathe right now as he anticipates what youâll say. Is it going to be a ânoâ this time? Are you going to stand up and change your mind? Despite just stating you donât want to ruin his life?
God, hasnât he already let you?
âYes.â
Pause.Â
âIâm sorry?â Sunghoon responds in disbelief, shifting his eyes to his hands and then back to you. âCome again?â
âSunghoon.â You make it a point to call him by his name now, ignoring the etiquette of a proper boss and employee dynamic. âI am humiliated by all of this but I can see that you are too. Youâve admitted your guilt and even go as far as encouraging that I report you.â You pause again, knowing that this isnât where the conversation should be going for any, uh, normal person, you suppose.Â
âIf you had just told me. If you had said anything about wanting to, like, fuck me, I would have done it with or without the promotion on the line.â
Does that make you sound a little desperate? Yeah. But itâs not like he doesnât know how badly you need to be fucked. After all, you know, the cam sessions and stuff. You were literally paying a stranger to get you off.Â
Shouldnât he, of all people, know that you were bad-off enough to get laid?
Sunghoonâs issue though, is that he never looks at his employees sexually. No matter how pretty, no matter how much they flaunt themselves at him. He never has, and probably never will again. If it hadnât been for that single first session with you, all would be well. But now? Heâs too attracted to you.Â
He wants you so badly.
âIf you tell me right now that you want me, in the same way you did on that callââ You stop yourself to really look at him. With the way he swallows, the way his lips slightly part, the way his hands show signs of eleven days worth of nervous habit cuticle picking. âIf you do all of those things you said youâd do âif you were my bossâ...â
âWait, waitââ Sunghoon stands in a rush, causing you to jump slightly at the sudden sound echoing off of the walls in the office. âDo you understand the consequences of what youâre implying right now?â
âIf I fuck my boss, we could both be fired?â You smile, feeling the confidence raise within you. Watching the way he reacts to your lewd words face to face rather than through a microphone.Â
âThat would beâŠcorrect.â He raises a brow.Â
âWell, technically, youâve already been fucking me.â You look away from him, feeling a bit shy even with the confidence, but never having spoken to a man so bluntly before like this? Itâs a bit scary. âWould it really make anything worse if, you know, I do reciprocate?â
Goddamn. Sunghoon might be a bit smitten. This situation could have gone a thousand different ways, and you offer the one that includes your legs spread across this fucking desk and his face buried between them?
Oh. Never has he been so willingly turned on at work.Â
âIs this what you want?â He asks in a breath, shifting his eyes to the door and walking towards it, immediately reaching for the lock but not quite turning it.Â
âIs that what you want?â You counter, turning and staring at the lock.Â
Sunghoon hides his nod, wanting you to be the one to answer first. After all, hasnât he been self-indulgent enough?
âDo you want me to fuck you?â He finally breaks and says it, blatantly, not sugar coated, yet still sweet when the words hit your ears. âAfter all this, you still want it?âÂ
You nod, dipping your head a bit against your shoulder.Â
Click.Â
âI guess I should have known.â Sunghoon plays with his words now, hand dropping from the now locked door and eyes entirely on you. âDo you want me to fuck you, or would you preferââ
âYou.â You smile, feeling your skin prickle at the electricity that enters the room through breath and words alone. Itâs the way he already shifted. Like all of that anxiety melted out of him within an instant.Â
âNo, no.â He stalks towards you now, the nervous Sunghoon is no longer in sight as he makes himself seem bigger, taller, far more intimidating. Just like he was on camera. âThe me you saw on screen is not the same as what youâre seeing right now.â He tries to explain.Â
âOh?â You tilt your head, and he only finds that cute.Â
Far too cute.Â
âYouâd do as I ask, right?â His voice shifts to a raspy whisper as he centers himself in front of you, both hands reaching the arms of your chair as he hovers above you. âIâm far more tame online.âÂ
Tame?! Thatâs what he calls tame?!Â
You stare up at him, keeping your jaw from falling slack as you physically see him shift from being your boss into being a man with a need. Not just any need either. A need for you.
Part of you wonders if he ever truly felt bad in the first place about all of this, because the shift from just moments ago is so dramatic itâs almost scary.Â
âSo, tell me.â He leans down, inches from your face as his eyes start to fall to a half-lidded stare at you. âYouâll do as I say? Youâd let me do it all for you, and not ask me to stop until I feel it best, yes?â
You swallow and slowly nod. Oh god, it really, really, is him.Â
âAnd while at work, youâll behave?â He continues, lips now ghosting over yours to the point you can almost feel them press down. Heâs implying that if you donât tell, that this wonât be the only time too? Shit. Heâs entirely aware of why this shouldnât be happening, but still making it happen.
 âNo matter what I do to you, where or how I do it, youâll behave?â
You canât help it when you lift your chin, just a bit to rest your lips against his words, eyes falling closed and hands hesitant to reach out for his perfectly ironed shirt.Â
You feel his smile against your lips, with that sharp-toothed grin he rarely offers.Â
âAh, so itâs true.â He murmurs against you, his hand reaching for yours and guiding it for you, straight to his belt. âDirty, dirty girl.â
A small, pleased, sound leaves your throat when he does kiss you, adding his own pleased hum alongside yours as his hands still hold yours in place over his belt, not quite letting you do anything just yet.
âGonna be quietââ He whispers into your mouth, just against your tongue before licking out and against it. âEven when I tell you to moan my name?â
You really shouldnât be surprised, but you still are. You like this Sunghoon better than the one who stutters and picks his cuticles. Heâs owning it, and in a way, so are you.Â
 After all, it wasnât until today that you truly learned what Sunghoon is like when heâs aroused. Not that you ever should have known in the first place. The fact that you do know, the fact that heâs showing you? It just makes this all the more arousing, in your opinion.
All he needed was a green light and within seconds it seems, Sunghoon became the need youâve been chasing for months now through porn sites and erotic novels.Â
You nod to his words, trying to drop your hand just a bit to feel what youâve already seen. Just to feel how warm he is, howâ
âIs that so?â Sunghoon whispers in an amused tone, guiding your hand right back to his belt, only to drop his other hand straight between your legs. âYouâre supposed to do as I say. If I tell you to moan my name, you do it.â
Oh, the sexual confusion of what to do and which Sunghoon to obey. All you can do is continue to nod for him, hanging your head with a breath at the way he cups his hand over the entirety of your core. You wore pants today in order to hide your shame, to try and feel invisible based on previous circumstances. Youâre not so happy about that now, as you try to feel his touch through the thick fabric only to shamelessly thrust your hips up and against his palm.
He moves his lips to the top of your head now, hovering over you in a perfect stance of power, hand gently rubbing up and and down despite your hips asking for a harsher touch. If anything, it makes him feel better knowing how you react to this.Â
In actuality, his relief is sending his arousal through the roof. Not only are you not going to rat him out butâŠyou want more of it? More of him, in particular? Not the facade of him online?Â
At this point, if he gets caught, youâre both going down in flames. So, why not enjoy the ride?
Truly, itâs laughable in the way heâs just as amused as he is turned on, relishing in the fact that he wants you and youâre letting him have you despite his past actions. Youâre messy too, heâs seen it, and now he gets to feel it.Â
âMhm,â Sunghoon hums against the top of your head, now pressing his own hips forward against your hand. âFeel that?â
The electricity? How hard he is? How needy you are?
âYeahâŠâ You sigh absentmindedly, bumping his chin with your head when you try to look up at him. You only blink twice before he coos out with a sad little sound.Â
He doesnât say a word after as he removes his hand and instead, grabs both of your hands and places them on his shirt.Â
âGo on.â He smiles, waiting to see you to start fumbling against his buttons.Â
And fumble, you do. Touching him, for some reason, feels so dangerous. Knowing youâre the one removing his shirt, watching his skin be revealed as it begins to fall open by your own doing? Itâs electrifying. Enough to lose your train of thought as you study how toned and smooth his skin is. Just like how you had seen on camera, so clear in front of you now. Youâre aching for him by this point, being able to feel his body heat, touch him, feel his eyes on you.Â
If you had really known back then who it was you were talking to, you very well may have pretended to not know as well, judging by the way your entire body catches fire for him.Â
And as his shirt falls completely open, heâs satisfied with the way you do it. Complacent and docile beneath him, nervous fingers shaking much like he did for the past eleven days. With those pretty eyes looking at him, like thereâs nothing in your head at all.Â
He chuckles at you, grabbing your hands again and placing them right on his chest, helping your hesitant touch to massage and caress each bump and toned muscle. He intentionally flexes the further down your hands go, all the way back to his belt.Â
There, he looks down at where you touch, then back at you with a quirked brow. You stare up at him, blinking, face feeling hot, and itâs like you move your hands on instinct. The sound of his buckle being unclasped echoes in the room, and his eyes only darken with the sound.
The sound of it slipping from the loops when he takes it upon himself to remove it completely for you, the sound of his breathing, the sound of that zipper, the button, the shuffling of his pants being skewed down just enough to fit your hand inside.
He moans at the image alone, loving the way your smaller hand looks slipping down his pants, the way your breathing is somehow even as if youâre trying to keep yourself calm. So calm, so pretty, but he knows how needy you are. He shouldnât, but he does, and he uses it to his advantage.Â
Youâre the one who moans this time upon feeling that little twitch of his cock urging you to grab. And he helps you too, with the way he guides your hand under the front of his pants further, forcing your fingers to grab and grope the thick of his cock, uncomfortable and pressing between his briefs and undone zipper.Â
âStill, youâre just looking.â Sunghoon comments, pressing his hips forward slowly and gently. âIâm right here.â He continues to explain the situation to you, as if youâre not experiencing it. âYou need me to show you how to touch me too?â
You hesitate with a groan caught in your throat. Youâre still processing the size difference that you feel now versus what you saw. Bigger. Thicker. Heavier than you would have expected against your palm. Honestly, you were so focused on the fact that Sunghoonâs cock is currently fucking forward against you that you almost forgot how to jerk a man off by yourself.Â
His hand had been doing all the work for you, and youâre quick to take over.Â
Sunghoon lends a very small gasp at the way you try to grasp, and instantly both of his arms shoot to the chair behind your head. He grips it, dropping his chin to the top of your head before thrusting a bit harsher into the grip you try to hold on him.Â
âHarder.â He exhales, his cock twitching in your weak hold. âGrab me harder.â
You do, squeezing the bulge before intentionally adjusting it for him, allowing the head of his bulbous cock to peek from the top of his briefs.Â
His relieved sigh is enough, you canât help it. With his chin sat atop your head like this, you have no choice but to watch the way he moves his hips. Just like he did on camera. His abs flex with each movement, his arms grip behind you on the chair tighter, and you couldnât pull your eyes away from his desperate body even if you wanted to.Â
You thrust up too, as if your body craves what youâre already touching. And you do crave it, so much so that your clit aches against the denim youâre rubbing up against. Unfortunate that you wore these fucking jeans, honestly.
âMr. Parkââ You let out a small and frustrated cry, using your other hand to try and fail at unbuttoning your own pants.Â
He hides his smile at the way youâve reverted back to his professional title, but pays no mind to it because thatâs what he wanted to hear in your voice that night. A desperate sound of his name, a plea, a cry. He canât help but cling to it and bury that pretty voice into the darkest parts of his brain. A memory heâll revisit time and time again after this. That sound, those pretty lips, this weak grasp you have. For the time being, itâs his. You belong to him right now.Â
âHm?â He hums out, fucking his hips forward while tilting his head back to look at you. âWhat is it, baby?â
Oh. You lost your train of thought.Â
Thankfully, he seems to do the thinking for you as he shifts his eyes down and watches you try to both please him and remove your own pants. A cute sight to him, really. Someone who was just scolding him for wanting this, fumbling for more?Â
So cute.Â
He chuckles, pulling his hips back from your hand and grabbing it, unbothered by the loss of your touch. Instantly he intertwines his fingers with yours, and grasps your other hand from your pants to do the same. Both your arms raise by his guidance to the back of the chair before he releases them.Â
You watch with a slack jaw and half-lidded eyes as he lowers himself, right onto his knees before he unbuttons your pants for you and very politely pulls them from your legs.Â
âThis what you want?â He smiles, lying his cheek right against your exposed thigh and taking a deep inhale. Itâs taking everything in him not to fawn over the woman who had him in his thoughts for the past however long, truly.Â
Then again, heâs weak. He doesnât even look up at you through his words and, instead, nuzzles his nose right up and against the seat of your panties before inhaling with a pleasant hum. âTo have me finally touching this pretty pussy for you?âÂ
God damn, if you didnât already know it was him on that camera, you do now. He speaks the same type of words, with the same confidence, the same sultry toneâŠ
You can barely comprehend the way he slowly takes his own pants off because youâre too focused on the way he runs his lips across your skin with dirty thoughts spilling from them. Fingers tucked under either side of your panties in preparation before he eventually pulls them off of you.Â
âDid you wear those pants to hide yourself from me?â He comments now with an amused tone. âKnowing you wanted me to take them off of you anyway?â
You shake your head at him, holding your breath. You did wear them to hide, but you never would have expected this situation to go in a direction involving his mouth anywhere near where you need it. Sure, you assumed he would have rejected you, you assumed that if it was himâ heâd have been so disgusted with himself that heâd only gag at your presence.Â
But no. You were bold in your words, and he seems to feed into that.Â
âNo?â He furrows his brows and lifts his head. Now lowering your panties much like he did for your pants. Heâs quick with his next action, seemingly hiding his own desperation through playful comments at you. âWhy not?â He adds, instantly pressing his thumb against your clit and fucking shining his eyes up at you with a semi-pouted mouth.Â
You roll your eyes back at the sudden pressure, relaxing your shoulders and slouching down in the chair. Your legs spread further on instinct, granting him a full view of your sticky cunt parting open for him.
His eyes glance down, peering into the heat you offered once before ever knowing it was him looking. Clicking his tongue, he canât help but bite his lower lip to hold himself back. He hopes you donât notice the way his hand finds its way to his own cock, he really, really hopes you donât see him act so pathetic over this.Â
But you do. The moment your eyes roll back into place and get a look at him. One of his shoulders is moving, but the action is hidden by not only the chair, but his fucking face. Heâs got his lips parted and heâs licking his lower lip. Slicking it up with his own saliva beforeâ
âSo quiet,â He hums with glistening lips, lending himself a light hold with his cock and pretending itâs you doing it for him. âYou have nothing to say for yourself?â He adds now, inhaling once more the scent of your slick dripping for him as he leans in just a bit more.
âOhâ!â You yelp slightly at the feeling of his teeth digging into the flesh just to the side of your core. He bites down harder and harder, licking the flesh between his teeth before sucking hard against it. The sweat and scent of your full-day at work does nothing to calm his raging cock. He loves it and it only grows his appetite for you. Licking, sucking, nibbling at the skin until heâs sure heâll leave a nice, painful swell to rub against your panties later. Only then does he release your skin from his still-tasting mouth.Â
The relief when he releases your thigh is short lived because he offers not even a full two seconds before you feel his mouth circle your clit. Like he canât help himself, like he canât tease you right now even if he wanted to.Â
 A flick of his tongue sends a shiver down your spine straight to your toes and you canât stop your legs from immediately wrapping around his head. You hear his muffled âmmfâ when you do that, but he keeps you from apologizing for it because his free hand goes straight under your ass and scoots you even closer to his tongue.Â
And if you didnât already think Sunghoon knew how to use that mouth for more than just being a professional business man, you do now. With the way that same tongue that used to taste the morning coffee youâd bring him now tastes you. Deeply.Â
He licks, flicks, and sucks every fold. Slurping up any dripping heat that slips out of you before pressing his tongue in and nuzzling his nose against your clit. Heâs not quiet about it either. He moans with each lick, hums every time your legs squeeze around his neck, slurps and loudly sucks.Â
Itâs pornographic, itâs sexy, itâsâ
Suddenly, you feel a sharp jolt shoot through you, having not even noticed his hand moving from your ass to your front, moving straight up under your shirt. His fingers immediately find your nipple and pinches hard. So hard that your previous moan only becomes prolonged. Grows louder, breathier.Â
He pinches and massages your nipple with the intent to keep you loud for him. Office setting or not, he could give less of a shit about that right now. He ignores the strain on his wrist from your bra, he uses his other hand to grip himself harder, and you canât help but squeeze him tighter between your thighs until youâre, quite literally, shaking.
Your hips are sliding against his face with each jolt of pleasure, practically riding him, and his cock is now entirely neglected because you canât help but want more. You need more. And he gives it, by now releasing himself and keeping both hands on you. One holding the outside of your thigh, almost pushing you to squeeze tighter, the other incessantly abusing your nipple.Â
He chokes out a moan through his messy movements, never quite knowing where to put his hands solely because he wants to touch all of you. His cock is just fine being neglected, he thinks, as he realizes just how much pleasure he gets from feeling you wrap yourself around him like this.Â
It feels better than jerking himself off.Â
âMr. Pââ You sigh out, still not quite used to actually calling him his name, but the sound of it reminds you time and time again how wrong this situation is supposed to be.Â
Youâre sitting on this soft chair, pussy being spread apart by a tongue none other than the man who signs your paychecks. And just this morning you were terrified of him ever even getting a glimpse of you without pants on? God, how stupid could you be? You shouldâve been chasing this manâs touch since the day you looked at him for the first time.Â
âFuckââ You moan out for him, brain spitting thoughts at you as each second passes. The danger of this, the fact that he genuinely got off to you before you knew it was him. The secrecy of his perverted thoughts and actionsâŠitâs all so⊠âSo, youâre so â hot.â
You feel him laugh, kissing the pulsing hole of your pussy when he pulls his tongue back to swallow. And for just a few moments, he turns his head, gripping your thigh with his teeth once again before speaking back to you, muffled by the hot skin.Â
âYeah?â He laughs, now pulling his hand from your bra and lifting to your chin, pointing your gaze down at him, forcing you to see the way your thighs nearly suffocate him against your pussy. âThen keep your eyes on me.â
And you do, especially when he uses both of his hands now, nudging them between your legs and forcing them from his shoulders. He rests your legs on the arms of the chair instead and flicks his eyes up at you.Â
âYou watching?â He makes this a point, blowing a small breath of air straight at your clit before receiving a dazed and slow nod from you. âKeep your legs open too.â
Thatâs the last thing he says before his mouth is full again, sucking your folds between his teeth before tucking his tongue right back into your hole. He tastes for just a few moments before you feel those same lips on your clit. He lets it throb in his open mouth as he listens carefully to your little sounds, especially now that heâs sliding his fingers into you.Â
You gasp, holding your breath at the feeling. His fingers slide in, reaching deep before he scissors them open. And all you feel from it is pleasure. You canât help that your eyes roll back again, but you do try to keep your gaze fixed on his. With his eyes so rounded, blinking up at you with his strong jaw moving with each swallow of his own muffled moans.Â
He sucks your clit, fucks your cunt open, and relishes in the way he will soon get to splay you across his desk and really let you have it.Â
And he does this for a few minutes, though in your head it goes by so fast that you nearly get whiplash from the way he pulls back with a wet sound and grins at you.
âAw, babyââ He coos at the face you make, seemingly disappointed to lose all stimulation at once, but heâs quick to lift to his feet and lean back over you.Â
Oh, his cock. Itâs right there.Â
Oh.
His faceâÂ
âYouâre so fucking wet right now.â He murmurs against the corner of your mouth with a raspy whisper, easily and without warning slipping two of his fingers right back into the heat that he just denied himself of licking more. âYou hear that?â He continues with a sharp toothed bite to your lip. âHow wet you are?â
You groan at the way he slams his fingers in, out, in, out, inâŠHe keeps them there, pressed so far into you that you can physically feel the way your pussy tries to push him out again.
âCould slip it in right nowââ He moans out at how tight you clench just his fingers. âFuck, could be so deep in you.â
Your face feels hot as a bashful feeling overtakes you. His voice hits so much harder when you feel his breath along with it. His fingers, his cock right up against you. You want him to slip it in. To stuff his cock in you so fast, no room to adjust, not a second to even catch your breath.Â
God, you need it right now. Itâs been too long since youâve felt a real person touch you, you canât help that you feel so desperate. The clench isnât on purpose, your body tells him all he needs to know, all while he tells you all you could only wish to hear fall from someoneâs lips.
And not just anyone. His lips.Â
You shoot your arms around his neck and it's not really intentional butâ an actual kiss. You need it.Â
He seems pleased by it though, with the way his tongue immediately asks for more. One hand moves to brace your cheek, the other still fucking into you so good that you canât keep a single moan down. He takes full control of the initiated kiss solely because you kissed him first. Almost hungrily, he licks into your mouth with his own muffled groan, encouraging you to keep being pretty like this. Just so you can see what heâll do to you.Â
And, damn. He guides your body like a puppet, stiffening his shoulders when he licks into your mouth and threatening to pull away by raising himself up just a bit. He knew youâd chase the kiss, and you do. You lift with him, your ass lifting from the chair just to keep his tongue against yours, and he takes the elevated position and angles his hand just a bit. There, his fingers fuck into you harder, faster, so much fucking deeper untilâ you feel his fingers stop at a painfully deep spot inside of you.Â
He pulls back from the kiss, looking down between your bodies, and your eyes follow his gaze. Right there, heâs placed his knee up against his own wrist, forcing his fingers to remain deep and unmoving in you.Â
You take in a sharp inhale, seeing the way he lets your body fall back to the seat of the chair, only forcing him to skew his fingers andâ âOh, god!â
You moan out so suddenly that it even shocks him for a moment, but he takes your weakness and uses it to his advantage. Quickly, he licks into your moaning mouth, tickling his fingers upwards, pulling even more animalistic sounds from you.Â
âYeah?â He whispers frantically, so turned on by the way your entire body stiffens. âRight there?â He continues, leaning his full body weight forward with his knee, wincing at the way he presses his cock against anything he can find in the process, just to get you off right here, right now.Â
You nod just as frantically, toes curling, arms shooting to the chair in a form that should appear as discomfort, but really youâre just bracing yourself through the tensing of your muscles before all of them relax and pulse at once.Â
Your ears pop, but you can still hear your desperate cries of his name somewhere distant. You can even hear him, humming and encouraging your orgasm. You wish you could hold your eyes open to see him, to grab him and force him to fuck his fingers hard into you. God, you could take it right now. You could take just about anything to heighten this feeling of stars bursting behind your eyelids.Â
Somehow though, itâs like he knows. Half-way through your orgasm, you feel the weight between your legs shift and his fingers start moving again. Still, your eyes are squeezed shut, and you can't help but to lunge forward and hug against his neck, clinging to him through the prolonged orgasm that his fingers alone have brought to you.Â
âSqueezing me so tightââ Sunghoon groans, unsure of if heâs referring to the way your needy cunt crowds his fingers, or the way you cling to him like a lost pet, begging for him to never leave your sight. âFuck, youâre so pretty like this.â
You hear those words over any of his others. So clear in your head as you snap your head up and look at him. You see him lower his gaze, but your grip doesnât quite allow him to actually look down at you. Not when he has to physically hold you up anyway. Still, he looks amused up there, knowing that single compliment mustâve hit somewhere inside of you.
Youâre not sure why, through all this, Sunghoon calling you pretty makes it so much more intimate. And even as your legs continue to shake, and you release your death grip hug on him, he keeps himself crowded up to you. Heâs somehow out of breath just like you are, relishing in the calm silence of your post orgasm as heâŠJesus.
Itâs not just your imagination. Somehow, it is intimate. Itâs the way he pulls his fingers out and both hands shoot to your face. First, he kisses you as if youâre a long lost love. Deeply, slowly. Then, heâs putting one hand at the small of your back, nudging his knee right back between your legs, and pulling you right up against him.Â
âWho did you cum for?â Sunghoon asks, pulling back just to lick against your lips and stare directly down at you. âSay my name.â
You donât hesitate, echoing out with a winced expression, still so out of breath while rubbing your clit to the expanse of his thigh.Â
âSu-Sunghoo-Sunghoon-âÂ
âYeah?â He encourages you, hearing his name heat his ears up. He moves his pussy-slicked fingers to your mouth while you cry his name, and easily presses your tongue down with them, sliding the digits further and further down your throat. âSunghoon.â He says his own name. âSay it again.â
You gag around his fingers, unable to obey his demand.Â
âSungââ He inspects the way your tongue struggles against the intrusion in your mouth. âHoon.âÂ
You swallow around them now, sputtering, tears now running down the outer apples of your cheeks. He watches you do it too, wondering how good that would feel if it were his cock youâre swallowing around. Knowing youâd probably do it for him if he wanted to right now.Â
ButâŠhe needs more than that. Despite how delicious you look while gagging, his cock has been neglected and he needs to fuck out the stress from the past however long youâve been avoiding him. Itâs like his brain breaks with the action as he watches you take his fingers in whatever way he offers. You let him do whatever he wants. Youâre obeying.Â
âUp.â He suddenly says, pulling all physical contact with you away as he turns, steps out of the pants restricting his ankles, and swipes every pen, file, and picture frame off his desk. âCome here, baby.â
You feel like youâre melted to this chair right now, in all honesty. Youâre still trying to catch your breath just from touching his cock before he decided to make you see fucking stars, to think you can stand right now is insane.
So, when you donât immediately hop up and throw yourself onto his desk, he turns to look at you.Â
Youâre splayed out, legs still spread, toes still curled. Your chest is heaving to breathe, eyes wild and lips so fucking kissable.Â
âOh, fuck.â He sighs to himself in realization, relishing in the image of you heâs only recently been craving. âLook at you.â
You lift your arm to hide your face, feeling apologetic for the way youâve lost the ability to exist as an active participant right now. Even more apologetic when you glance down at how fucking hard his cock is. Raging hard, so pretty with the tip sputtering precum for god knows how long.Â
He watches you stare, and lends you a few moments to catch your breath by gripping it himself. Leaning himself against his desk and twisting his wrist with a tight grip at the base.Â
âIs this how you looked at me when I did this before?â He asks, flicking his wrist still with each drag. âSo out of it, you look like such a mess, babe.â
You find yourself humming a confirmation to him as you watch, almost reverting back to who you were during that first session. Unseen, only heard, all while you got to see him pleasure himself to almost nothing. You gave him nothing.Â
Youâve still only given him nothing.Â
And so, very slowly, you force yourself to stand on shaking legs to take those two strides to his desk. Something inside of you tingles when he drops his cock and opens his arms for you, like a good boss would do in this situation. Supporting your unbalanced weight, letting you walk into his comforting grasp.Â
âSaid my name so pretty, you know.â He comments gently when he holds you close to him. Hands reaching down from the grip around your waist just to grab both of your fleshy ass checks and squeeze them. âYou want more, yes?â
Heâs quick to the point, only allowing the short and sweet moments to last just enough for them to stick in your head. Just enough to have questions about his actions. Just enough to give him anything, everything, he could want if it involves your body.
You nod almost shyly, dipping your head down and leaning against his chest.Â
âLet's get this off of you then.â He smiles with a gentle voice, reaching to the hem of your shirt and pulling it straight up, watching how you lift your arms to help him. âMhmââ He hums again, loving how the bra drags off of you along with the shirt. He lets both of his hands brush your nipples before he goes back to gripping your ass cheeks and spreading them.Â
Spreading them so wide that, once again, you have to lift on your toes just to let him play with your body. Which, oh man. Always wearing his button down shirts, his blazers, his long-sleeve shirts. You canât help it when you tug at the opened fabric of his shirt, asking silently that he shake it off. Wanting to see his arms, wanting to see the strength in them.
And he does it without hesitation, letting his hands fall from you just for a moment to shake his shirt off, only now hugging against you again and forcing a position change. He turns both of you so now youâre up against his desk, and heâs standing in front of you.
Itâs easy for him to push you back in a kiss. Your legs open for him on instinct anyway, so he need not worry about prying those legs open again. You do just as expected when he pushes you too. Your ass hits the desk and you lift on your toes to sit on it. Your legs spread wider, making room for him to step even closer, cock right up against you when he closes any amount of distance, and still? Heâs kissing you.Â
All across your face, down your neck, back to your lips. And his hands just keep feeling. Massaging your tits, lending small taps to your ass, holding your chin, jaw, neck, and thenâŠhe runs them through your hair.Â
The feeling is so good you almost forget how youâve been trying to steal a glimpse of his flexing arms as he grabs at you. Goosebumps prickle and you let out a groan at the pleasure of it. He keeps one hand there now, smiling against his kiss to your ear.Â
âYou like being pampered?â He asks, now gripping a fist full of your hair and skewing your neck to the side. âLike being moved around like a puppet?â
Never once have you thought about your sex life that way, but when you think about itâŠmaybe. After all, you did enjoy being told when and how to touch yourself, being allowed or forbidden from cumming. Now, with him quite literally moving you around with just a simple grip of your hair? Yeah.Â
âBy youââ You mutter out as you open your eyes, staring at the ceiling and feeling his tongue lap against your earlobe.Â
âJust me?â He leans back, using that same grip in your hair to force you to look at him. âYouâd give me that power?â
You nod against the grasp, lips falling open in a moan despite not being pleasured by anything aside from the stinging against your scalp as he pulls little hairs a bit too tightly.Â
âYou knowââ Sunghoon starts now, pressing his hips forward, dropping his other hand to his cock and slapping it right against your weeping cunt. âIf I had known you were this dirty...âHe sighs out at the image in his head, thinking back to all those times he silently complimented you in his head. Back then, never would he have made comments about your legs out loud, or how your tits would look in certain shirts. Thinking back now, heâs always found you quite beautiful.
Quite fuckable, even.Â
You listen to the silence waiting for him to continue, feeling the way he presses the hardened head of his length against your clit repeatedly.Â
âI would have propped you up on this desk months ago,â He smiles now, leaning in real close to your ear as his grip in your hair loosens just a bit. âCouldâve had you moaning my name this whole time.â
Then, you feel it. The way he adjusts his weeping cock lower, prodding at your hole just a bit until his tip is entirely enveloped by your clenching walls.Â
You swallow a moan and hold your breath, legs shooting around his waist and instinctively trying to force his hips to move forward, trying to force him to penetrate you deeper.
âShh,â He coos out, holding his hips firm and not letting you control his movements. Then, he kisses just under your ear before peppering them all the way back to your lips. He doesnât kiss you though, no, he chuckles at you for trying. Watching you let your tongue fall from your mouth, inspecting the way youâre entirely in tune for him right now. âYou really want it, donât you?â He whispers just above your lips. âWant me to fuck you right here, right now?â
You nod absentmindedly, legs still trying to force him to move, arms clinging under his biceps, head still forced into whatever position he keeps it in by the hair.Â
âPleaseâSunghoon.â You cry in a small voice, feeling as if youâre going insane by the feeling of his tip sitting comfortably in you.Â
âYouâre so cute.â He smiles, lending you another inch of his length before letting his hand fall from your hair. There, he grips your waist instead, letting a strained grunt fall from his own lips this time. Heâs really trying to remain collected about this, and heâs unsure himself why heâs enjoying the act of teasing you like this. He feels like heâs teasing himself more than you right now, seeing as how itâs taking everything in him not to stuff his cock into you hard and fast. âSoâso, fucking cute.â
You clench around the few inches in you and it appears thatâs all he needed to break entirely. Is he controlling you, or are you controlling him?Â
Honestly, who gives a fuck?
You feel his arms shake when he plants them at either side of you, pointing his cock straight into you and sliding in fully. Thereâs a groan from him that you want to hear so badly, but your own heart beat is thumping in your ears so loudly that you miss half of it.Â
The stretch is delicious, and the fact that itâs Sunghoon doing this to you makes this all the more enjoyable. The man who youâve seen day after day, now holding himself up on the desk youâve signed papers on with and for him? All so he can angle his hips and shove his cock in? Just to let his arms frantically wrap around your waist? Just so he can scoot you forward on this desk, using your leaking slick to slide you back and forth in time with his hips?Â
That groan you wanted to hear? He hasnât stopped. Heâs essentially, controlling the entire situation and when you half open your eyes to witness his face, youâre forced to roll your eyes back in a moan matching his.Â
Heâs fucking you so deeply right now that all you can do is moan, all you can do is forget the embarrassment, the victimization, the way heâs doing this to you despite the risk of reality crumbling. He could lose his job, you could lose yours, and yet stillâ heâs fucking you like he doesnât care.
So, you choose not to care either in the form of grabbing his hair, forcing his head back, and attaching your lips right against his adams apple. You feel him swallow and breathe out a shocked sound, and then? You suck.
Intentionally, you suck, bite, and lick, harder and harder until thereâs a deep purple mark there. He doesnât even fight it, though you feel him try to move his head just to keep you from going too insane with it. You donât care though, because still you feel his cock splitting you open, forcing you to adjust to him.Â
âAh,â Sunghoon lets out another breath with that familiar chuckle, âMarking me now?âÂ
You hum a confirmation as you move to a new spot on his neck, absolutely fucking marking him. Feeling devastated by the idea that heâd do this with any other employee. Or any other person in general.Â
âMaking me all yours, huh?â He continues with his cocky words, feeling the way your pussy clenches him tightly, dripping all over his desk. Heâd let you make him yours, with or without the bruising from your mouth.Â
âMhm.â You hum pleasantly, letting out little yelps each time he slams into you. Letting out full moans each time his arms wrap around your waist tighter.Â
You continue with the act, littering his pretty neck with your touch and loving how he just lets you. Knowing that heâll show up at work tomorrow looking a bit tired, but glowing nonetheless, trying to hide all these marks with that tight-necked collar he likes to wear.Â
âWhatever you want.â He breathes, letting his hips lose rhythm for just a moment as he feels his muscles tighten. âFuck, youâre still so tight.âÂ
You feel like youâre on top of the world as he compliments you, to the point youâre not sure when youâll cum because your whole body has seemingly been feeling euphoria anyway. Everything feels good, even if his cock reaches deep enough to cause little jolts of pain. The sound of the desk scooting back through the force of his hips is enough to make you take it. Enough to squeeze your legs around him tighter, enough to clench, enough toâ forget what youâre doing and let yourself fall into it with him.
Your head falls back from his neck and you pant out little half-calls of his name with each thrust. Your legs loosen from around him too, but his grip on your waist only pushes you back on his desk. Until heâs leaning forward so hard with each thrust that suddenly your back meets the cold wood.
Sandwiched between him and his desk, he follows the action, his hands quickly moving from your waist to your tits, pushing them together just so he can nuzzle his face between them.
There, you look at him. You really look at him.Â
What a messy, messy, man. Always so pristine during working hours, now looking so wrecked and out of it as he chases a pleasure that you hope only you can give to him.Â
âMr. Parkââ You sigh out in a pleasant voice, watching the way he sucks your tit into his mouth before his eyes open wide just so he can look up at you through each thrust. âHarder.â
You can physically see the way his eyes darken when he pops off from your tit, hands now going back to the desk as he hovers over you and intentionally rolls his hips.Â
You feel his cock loosen you up painfully before he intentionally fucks into you. Dragging all the way out, just to push forward in a deep and painful thrust. Over and over again, all while heâs staring straight into your eyes.
As you look up at him, you see the intent in his face. The way he wants to give you exactly what you want. Sweat shining from his cheeks, his neck littered with pretty colors. Oh, heâs actually heavenly when he fucks.Â
Better than what you thought that guy on camera would have been. Heâs not nonchalant like he was when he was performing. Heâs entirely in tune with you and what you want. Like what you want is what he wants.Â
You can tell heâs paying no mind to his own face or expression, blatantly putting all of his thoughts into how heâs pleasuring you, his eyes searching your face to tell him heâs doing well. To tell him you feel good, to tell him youâre close orâ
âFuckââ He sighs out, teeth tracing his bottom lip as he glances up, keeping pace with the way heâs been plunging into you. âI canât keep looking at you,â
You smile, feeling dazed and far away. It feels like itâs just you and him. Youâre not in his office, on a desk, or doing anything you shouldnât be doing.Â
âYou hear me?â He drops his body weight on you again, letting his hips move freely as he chases and chases. âIâm so close.â
Oh.Â
âThen look at me.â You huff out, now shooting a hand between his flexed abs and simplyâŠtouching your clit once.
 âOhâshit.âÂ
It hits you so fast. Just a simple touch causes your pussy to clench Sunghoon so tightly that he mimics your sound.Â
âAh, fuck- fuck,â His voice sounds frantic as he tries to pull out, only to feel your legs shoot back around him. This time, he lets you force him to stay. He lets those legs of yours push him back in, so deep that he knows he canât fight. âNo, noââ He chokes out, uncaring if his hips show you that heâs lying with his words. âIâm cummingâ I need toââ
âStay!â You shake beneath him but your voice sounds pleading, pressing once more to your clit before letting it go. You clench him again, essentially letting your body finish him off. Letting those clenches squeeze him so tightly, making sure he couldnât fathom ever wasting his cum. âDonât pull out.â
He doesnât. In fact, he presses impossibly deeper, trying to bury his cock into you to the point it even pains him. Arms shaking as he tries to hold himself up again, only to drop his lips to yours under his own weight. His hips are so tense between your legs, his cock is so stiff that you can feel each pumped release, and still youâre experiencing your own euphoria through it.Â
To the point your toes are curling and you barely notice the way you leave welts across his back from your fingernails through the intense orgasm. To the point his slack lips against yours feel more natural than anything else. Not kissing, just close. So close thatâ
He kisses you.Â
After itâs all said and done, he still kisses you breathlessly. Passionately almost, clinging to you as his cock twitches as it grows flaccid inside of you.
He doesnât pull out, he justâŠkisses.
And as you lay against his wooden desk, body coming down from the pleasure youâve felt more than once within the past hour, all you can do is let your brain think on its own. Without shame, without embarrassment or anxiety.Â
You thought Sunghoon would have been in control the whole time. Teasing you, maybe even making this experience more painful than it needs to be. But no, heâŠ
Heâs soft. Gentle, almost.Â
Only now do you recognize that as badly as he probably wants to appear harsh, like the confident man he is on camera, you think he needs something else. Not just power, not just money or control. Not even just fucking.Â
You thinkâŠmaybe, Sunghoon needs connection.Â
Intimacy.Â
And thatâs proven when he does finally stand on his own buckled knees, pulling you up with him into a hug where he still kisses you. Up until he takes that shirt you unbuttoned and holds it between your legs, scratching the back of his neck with a shy glance at you.Â
âSorry for the mess.â He echoes in a meek voice, holding that shirt firm against you. âGuess I just couldnât help myself.â
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Days later, you find yourself in his bed. Which should have been expected probably. Still doesnât change the fact that every few hours, you remind yourself the reality of the situation.
Itâs not just any bed youâre in. Itâs Sunghoonâs bed.Â
âOh, right. The promotion.â Sunghoon suddenly calls out mid-episode.Â
Youâve been here with him all day. To the point neither of you bother to put on clothes now because you know the spark will come back at any given time and youâll be all over each other again. Still, lazing in his bed with him on a Saturday afternoon is nice.Â
âIâve been a bit occupied butâ the interviews for the assistant position has been pushed back a bit due to you not coming to work. I was supposed to notify you when you got back, but you know, we had prioritiesââÂ
Sunghoon sighs, embarrassed. Itâs nice actually, seeing him in his natural element. Allowing you to see him as more than just the guy that wears a suit and tie every day at work.Â
âUnrelated to usâŠdoing this, but, youâre up for the interview. Just need to schedule it with me. If you still want to be my assistant, I mean.â
âOh, I can only imagine what that could entail.â
Sunghoon seems offended by this remark as he pulls back with furrowed brows.
âExcuse me?â
âDid you fuck the last one too?â You give him a playful smile, prodding at his soft-skinned chest.
âAbsolutely not?!âÂ
âYouâre still gonna fuck me too though, right? Even if Iâm constantly having to nag you for signatures and meetings?âÂ
Sunghoon stares at you before smiling.Â
âWell, let's see if you get the job anyway. Rhonda from Marketing is applying too.â
You lend a half-joke gag at him.Â
âIs it too forward to ask for special attention for the position along with a sexual favor?â You tread the thin line. âIâm half joking but wouldnât it be likeâŠnormal for us to be seen around each other at work if Iâm working a job that requires it?â
Sunghoon thinks hard.
âYouâre really asking to fuck your way up the ladder?â
âArenât you the one who offered it so I wouldnât tell your dirty little secret?â You narrow your eyes at him. âBut no, Iâm asking for the job Iâve been trying to earn for ages. Besides, Iâd still fuck you anyway.â
âFair.â Sunghoon thinks harder still. âRhonda would probably find out too, if she were to get the position anyway, considering my assistants are often intertwined in my personal business as well.â
âOh, Iâm personal business now?â
âBabe, my hand has been on your tit for an hour now.âÂ
Well, heâs not wrong.
âRhonda is really close with HR tooâŠâ You trail off, feeling a bit anxious. âI think sheâd hold it over both of us if she found out.âÂ
âIn all fairness, youâve been considered for the job more than a few times the past few months. Rhonda only applied during your two week avoidance of me. The reason sheâs even up for the position is because my boss thinks youâre too flaky.âÂ
Oh, so you have a chance with or without putting his dick in your mouth again?
âWho else has applied?â
âConfidential.â Sunghoon shrugs. âI still have to follow company rules even if weâre breaking a few of them right now. What I can tell you is, over fifteen other candidates have already been phased out by me personally.âÂ
You pause.
âWhy?â
âBad matches, mostly. Two of them have been caught talking shit about me through the company emails, and the others? Many outside applicants, all freshman college students with strict schedules.â
âBeing my assistant is not an easy job, and even before all of this, youâve practically been doing the job already, better than the current assistant I have.â
You damn fucking right you have.
âHow many are still in the running?â
âTwo.â
Oh, this job is soooooo yours.Â
âJust, one more thing.â Sunghoon sighs. âIf you get this job, we cannot be fucking in my office. No sexual stuff at work. We can take lunch together, or Iâll bring you home after work, but absolutely nothing at work.â
Oh, he thinks you want him that badly?Â
âWho says I need to fuck you during work hours anyway? I know how to control myself.â
âItâs not you who Iâm worried about.â Sunghoon looks away, biting the inside of his cheek.
âYeah?â You smile. âYou gonna be calling me into your office just to torture yourself?â
âOh, absolutely.âÂ
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Ateez as Boyfriends [Explicit Ver.]
yet another collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell. idk what this is but it's smut and it's a filthfest in here sooo MDNI!!
lmao when we think about it now we don't even know how we came to write this (speed write it more like) but this has collected dust in the drafts for a good while anddd it's our first time writing smut like this (minus my woo fic) so here we are :') Enjoy!
Hongjoong
eye fucks you
literally when he is in the mood he will let his eyes scan you ever so slowly
tease.
i just think that most of the times youâll be in the studio
and studio sex calls for you in his lap to get his attention
while his attention remains undivided on his pc
until you grind-
one wrong move and youâre done for
if he doesnât want you to break his focus at that moment, heâs probably gonna growl and bite your shoulder with the promise of whatâs about to come
and threaten you with things he would do to you once he is free
however, if you've succeeded?
immediately on to you
lips everywhere and anywhere on your body
tongue in your mouth
i feel like even if he tries to go slow, heâs the type to lose control in the middle of it
and go super intense and heated
loves it when his hands are on your hips and controlling your movement
the type to wedge his thigh between your legs as you make outÂ
and watch you become a mess as you grind on it
or when youâre sitting on him, heâll hook your legs over his to stop you from closing them
heâll finger you until youâre squirming in his lap
punish you for distracting him and being a bad girl
neck kisses heâs gonna leave pretty marks all over you
will praise the f outta you (not me censoring this.)Â
will probably move around a lot during sex
like one moment youâre in his lap
next youâre on the couch, heâs on top of you
until you switch
and then he has you standing up and suddenly youâre pinned against the wall
will not miss a chance to go down on you
knows exactly how to make you cry
and i mean cry.
laughs against your throbbing core and the vibrations oh goodness
absolutely loves the feeling of your fingers gripping his hair in desperation
nips you everywhere
and when youâre finally begging him to give you what you want, thatâs when heâll let you have some moment of control
probably curses in pleasure
loves watching you on top of him but makes sure you know whoâs in control (him)
heâs gonna spice things up when youâre reaching climax
i think i said he knows how to make you cry so go ahead and imagine
will overstimulate you before he wraps things up hehe
i just feel like his fingers on your clit right before you come and itâs 10x more intense
would love to come inside you when he can ;)
hongjoong would also probably record the audio of your moans during sex and when you climax (with consent ofc)
and on nights when heâs missing you heâll play it through his headphones and touch himself wishing you were here
takes such good care of you when youâre done like you joke that heâs suddenly worried if youâre okay when he fucked you like thereâs no tomorrow-
but really heâs all prepared heâs immediately making sure you have what you need- water, cuddles, round 2, you name it
will kiss your forehead as he assures you youâre his muse, the love of his life and all that sweet stuff :â)
you whine that you feel all sticky and gross
he definitely has an abundance of tissues and wet wipes in his studio
when people ask him why he has so many he tells them itâs for yknow cleaning
if you guys are back home in the shower though?
omg he is so soft and all about the romance
makes you feel so so loved
holds you in his arms for the longest time
or youâre in the middle of doing something and he grabs your wrist
and pulls you towards him with the biggest smile on his face
hands on your hips as he sways you around
and you just know that look in his eyes means heâs in the mood and heâs going to make this a memorable night for both of you
youâll hook your arms around his neck and sway to the music that is in your heads
guided by his movements
he tells you what heâs feeling. no filters
and you appreciate that so much about him
would definitely have a post-sex playlist that heâs made with like slow candle-lit dinner vibes
plays it with a speaker in the bathroom as he presses long and lazy kisses against you
basically a very love-driven makeout session :((
hehe but he most definitely nibbles all over the marks heâs left on you with a sense of achievement
loves when you wear one of his shirts over just your panties as you go to bed together
itâs the possessiveness in him iâm telling you
heâs quick to fall asleep but you can see a faint smile on his lips as you caress his head or his face
and you tell him all the reasons you love him
you can swear his hold on you tightens even though he is fast asleep
and youâre going to wake up with him looking at you like youâre the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on :((Â
even tho you look like an absolute mess in the morning-
Seonghwa
tongue.
man has a mouth on him like have you seen his lips?
the prettiest lips in ateezÂ
and his tongue????
he is the best kisser in ateez fight me
he knows how deadly his tongue is
and heâs going to use that to his advantage
makeout sessions are gonna be next level with him
and when his tongue goes elsewhere-
like when he kisses your neck?
or anywhere for that matter??
you literally cannot breath
itâs like itâs turning him on too
makes the dirtiest noises you betÂ
he loves the feeling of your thighs clenching around him because it means that youâre close
he praises you and tells you that you have the prettiest moans
loves that youâre making those sounds just for him
heâll enjoy overstimulating you
he coos and tells you to give him one more orgasm baby as he digs his fingers knuckle-deep into you
he knows your body so well
he can tell exactly when youâre about to come
like, heâll say âcome for meâ because he knows thatâs what tips you over the edge
and then when heâs satisfied with how many times youâve come for him
thatâs when he gets started
when you guys are fucking there are two different moods
sometimes he likes to take it slow and worship your body
pepper kisses all over your face and anywhere he can reach
presses his body against yours like he has to be touching every part of your exposed skin
drags his length in and out of you slowly so he can feel every inch of you
will latch his lips onto yours and explore your mouth with his tongue
likes to hold your hand :â((( i love him so much
other times itâs hot and fast and needy
his hands roam all over your body and through your hair
rolls your nipples between his fingers to make your back archÂ
moans into the kisses
bites your lower lip
either lets you run your hands wherever you want or pins them to whatever surface youâre on
you fist the sheets beneath you or grip his shoulders
he grunts and pants in between praises of how tight you are and how good you feel
before heâs coming hard into you
iâm convinced that when hwa comes his eyes roll back and he lets out the deepest moan
itâs so filthy his expression alone can make you reach your climax honestly
his warmth fills you up (pls use a condom irl)
and when he pulls out, the sight of his cum leaking out of you has him half-hardening again
he loves to see how heâs ruined you
and you best bet heâll help clean you up-
with his mouth
heâll hold your legs apart as you writhe from sensitivity
as soon as you both come down from your orgasms, itâs like all the dom has left his body
he literally becomes the softest when heâs doing aftercare like his touch is suddenly delicate and heâs holding you like youâre fragile
âsir, iâm pretty sure youâve left bruises on my body but okayâ
âah, did i? shall i kiss them so they get better?â
and you grin bc youâre lovestruck
and he feels so proud that he made you smile bc that means youâre okay
literally every second sentence that comes out of his mouth will be praise
that you did so well for him
that youâre so beautiful
that youâre all that he could ever ask for
<33333
peppers soft kisses on your face and kisses your knuckles
brings you sth warm to drink and cuddles you all night
i feel like heâs the type to love feeling skin on skin when cuddling
especially after having sex
he just has his boxers on and you just have your panties on
and he loves to hold you close to him and just feel you next to him in such an intimate way :â(((
he canât keep his hands off you but itâs completely innocent
traces little patterns and shapes on your back
splays his hand over your tummy
rests a hand over your chest bc he likes to feel your heartbeat
and he does it unconsciously too, even during pillow talk
you two can talk for hours about anything and everything deep into the night
it doesnât even matter what the pillow talk is about all you two want is to hear each otherâs voices
imagine hwaâs post-sex husky deep voice akjfldsg
but you two talk and cuddle for so long neither of you even realise when youâve fallen asleep
in the morning he wakes up before you but he stays cuddling you until you wake up so that heâs the first thing you see <33
thereâll be lots of lazy kisses before he gets up to make you a cute breakfast
Yunho
eye fucks you pt 2
literally the way he just watches you at times
like heâs drinking in the sight of you
before he kisses you heâs going to cup your face and look at you for the longest time
and you can see a thousand undecipherable emotions in his eyes
hesitates a bit before he kisses you but once youâre into it heâs a changed man
idk about you but i feel like his tongue can do wonders
i just think heâs a natural at this he kisses you like heâs been doing it forever and will never get tired of itÂ
makeout turns heated pretty quick and one thing leads to another-
will be vocal during sex too like
he needs to hear you say some stuff before you proceed
he needs to hear your voice to confirm youâre feeling good
heâs pretty much driven on that
he aims to please you.Â
his hands. need i say more?
he drives you crazy with his hands alone
even when theyâre cupping your face or like holding you behind your neck
you love his hands in your hair
you love it when you feel his big hands anywhere on your body for that matter
especially when theyâre gripping your thighs
and his long fingers omg
just a brush of them in the inside of your thigh or near your core and youâre done for
makes you a writhing mess before he will even touch you
will also pin you on nearest surfacesÂ
and lets his mouth and thighs do the rest
probably loves when you ride his thigh too as he makes out with you
to the point you almost come on that alone
he just loves when you want to be in control but he restrains you
and you gladly let him
will at times let you dom him
but he just thinks that youâre cute for trying
really, heâs watching all smug, watching you on top of him, waiting until heâs had enough
and then heâs flipped you
heâs pinned you to the bed and he dwarfs you grrrÂ
ânow itâs my turnâ
if you think cuddling while lovemaking is a soft trait? make it hard for yunho
like heâs just burying his nose in the crook of your neck while he pumps into you
spoons you from behind as he rubs his length against your ass
or kissing your temple or head and moaning against you
and oh goodness his weight on you when heâs on top of you i-
will mumble praise into your ear
âyouâre so fucking wet babyâ hdsjhjkdfhg
âyou feel so goodâ
and youâll def praise him in return he loves that
not afraid to experiment with you
and heâs always just so supportive of your wants and needs
heâs also fully capable of driving you insane like he can be a little shit sometimes-
his hand around your throat.
his hand being able to wrap around both of your wrists
loves to pin your wrists above your head
when heâs approaching his orgasm heâll see what you need
probably loves it when you come together
and heâll pump all that inside you he wonât stop
will remain inside for a good few moments until he pulls out
and then it's just another round of teasing each other as he takes care of you
âcan we shower together now?â but you know it will lead to shower sex
âwill you let me spoon you after i clean you up?â
âonly if i donât find your dick hardening against my ass in the middle of the night, yunhoâ
the teasing is just ramped up honestly
you two flick soap suds at each other
he smacks your ass and it startles you and you slip a little in the shower
he makes sure to catch you but you smack his chest as revenge even though you two are giggling
when you step out of the shower heâll throw your towel over your head so it covers your face
the man runs out of the bathroom before you can throw the towel back at him
heâs just streaking through the house naked at this point
it takes a while for you two to calm down enough to actually get into bed
but thereâs definitely another hour or two of very handsy teasing
mostly from him as you giggle at his antics
and lots of hypothetical discussions about things you guys could try out next time
but also not hypothetically because he would totally be down lol
heâll be like âokay but what if we restrained your wrists to the shower curtain bar, do you think itâd break?â
and you say you can try next time but if it does break heâs paying not you
youâre just both a laughing mess in each otherâs arms as you fall asleep
Yeosang
vanilla guy
he can move his tongue 180 degrees do you all know what use he can make of that?
heâs either super shy super shy~ or heâs gonna be the demon that we all know he is
his kisses range from shy to heated and rushed
like when heâs shy heâs all smiles and cautious touchesÂ
but you can literally taste it when heâs desperate
because his body language changes significantly
suddenly heâs the most confident
kinda feel like lingerie really turns him on
like whenever you wear something lacy or revealing
his length is already hardening before he knows it
sometimes he tries to hide it
other times he comes right up to you and growls into your ear that he needs you right now
his favourite place to do it might be in the bed
he just wants to make sure youâre comfortable first and foremost
and i feel like heâs a switch
he has his dom days he has his sub days too
sometimes he just needs you to lead and he loves watching you when you take the lead
he lets you do whatever you want to him
like heâll watch as you unbutton your shirt and slip off your bra
and when you lean down to take off his pants
heâll let you kiss him and touch him however you like
but when you start teasing him?
i feel like he has a switch that goes off and bam heâs now in dom mode
and heâs suddenly flipped positions and heâs like âiâve had enough sweetheartâ
and heâs banging into you with no remorse
and you swear his beautiful deep voice does something to you makes you feral is what it does
tucks your hair out of the way as he pumps his length into you
holds your face :( heâs so precious grrrrr
swipes his thumb across your lower lip
daring you to try something like-
heâs a tease he knows what game youâre playing
and if you try to capture his thumb between your teeth heâs gonna be like ânuh-uh not so quickâ
like he can be the sub and still be in charge how beautiful is that
bonus points if you make him laugh or make him shy during sex
you love to see it when you praise him and he gets all flustered
but boi does he know how to make you lose your shit too
esp when heâs in control and just running his hands all over your body
tracing all your curves as he drinks in the sight and praises you so. much.
as if he isnât a walking sculpture himself :â)
loves watching your little reaction and catches on real quick
like if you writhe under him when he kisses your sweet spot? heâs gonna be all smug and you bet the night has gotten longer
because he will spend his sweet time there
and when heâs fingering you or eating you out he will do everything to get the best reactions out of you
aftercare is 90 percent him fussing over youÂ
even though you reassure him that youâre okay from under the mountain of blankets heâs piled over you
he literally treats you like a queen
also because he wants to give you everything that you might even potentially need
so he like
brings you a whole platter of warm tea, water, energy drinks, salty snacks, packets of lollies, chocolates, you name it
will also ask if you need painkillers or anything
you better give that man his aftercare too he deserves it
you slip him bits of chocolate or snacksÂ
sometimes after heâs had one of those days where heâs radiated dom energy or heâs teased you a lot
you bring it up with him and wiggle your eyebrows
like âso iâm your good girl, huhâ
and he gets so flustered and shy and does his little giggle
but you never tease him too much, because you know that he can start to doubt himself or feel insecure
so you always make sure to tell him how good and perfect he is no matter what he does
he deserves all the love in the world <3
so after you let him fuss over you for a while you sort of just, fling up the side of your blanket and say
âget in hereâ
and he has such a cute bright smile as he burrows underneath the covers with you
sometimes he spoons you
but more often than not
you spoon him
and he feels so safe and loved whenever you hug him like that :â(
you love to run your fingers through his long locks because his hair feels super soft
but also because you can almost hear the purr that comes out of yeosang when you do it
heâs a precious baby :(
San
a switch nobody can convince us otherwise
he can be a hard dom
manhandles you, like have you seen the way he is with woo??
holds your jaw to make you look at him
or he gets up close and crowds your personal space
passes you the dirtiest looks
will stare at you for the longest time just to see what your reaction will be
loves it when you get flustered and shyÂ
doesnât care if youâre in public his touches will look casual to others
but youâve memorised what his hand placement means
like when his hand on your waist slowly lowers to your hip, you know itâs gonna be a long night
teases you during sex, like heâll lightly drag his fingers around your upper thighs and on your lower stomach but never touching your core
and heâll ask you what do you want
he wants you to be vocal and beg for him to touch you
and when you do heâll rip away your clothes and go down on you like heâs starved
he unbuttons your clothes and unclasps your bra with one hand and that alone makes you so wet
fondles your breasts with one hand while he circles your clit with the other
he latches his mouth onto your neck and collarbones and sucks on your nipples
has your back arching from all the different sensations all at once
but heâs also the subbiest sub to exist
like can you imagine him whimpering underneath you
this time heâs the one begging
he begs to touch you
and he begs for you to touch him, kiss him, anything
he doesnât care if there are people in the next room or if they can hear him
he just needs to be inside of you
man always does it like itâs his first time taking youÂ
like youâre blown by how much he can enjoy this every time it just gives you that confidence boost too
and heâs big on praise as well
loves being loud during sexÂ
makes the unholiest noises-
makes the most intense eye contact and if you dare shy away from him?
âlook at me when iâm looking at youâ
jksdhgjghjghksgh
^thatâs your reaction btwÂ
his kisses become more messy as things escalate and he just
he wishes he could kiss you everywhere all at once
switches positions so many times but mostly because he needs to feel closer to you in every aspect
might have a thing for putting your legs over his shoulders as he pumps into you
will make you scream without a doubt
like his aim is to make you see stars and boi do you get lost
so you also love to return the favour
and heâs not all that hard to please all you have to do is push the right buttons and say the right things
but you prolong the process on purpose
because you too enjoy seeing him break under you
itâs just that he makes you feel so good about yourselfÂ
he makes you feel like youâre everything heâs ever wanted and then some
will make you come on his fingers
and then lick them clean-
will make you come on his dick next
and break right after he canât handle you becoming a mess on him
collapses next to you and laughs in disbelief because how good was that?
takes a few moments to gather himself, all the while caressing your skinÂ
and kissing you- the softest kisses
before he gets up and takes care of you
and heâs so so good at that
heâs cleaning you up, making sure youâre hydrated, helping you into bed and then the cuddlefest starts
lies against the pillows and then shifts you so that youâre basically half-lying on top of him
he loves when you rest your head on his chest, an arm and a leg slung over the top of him too
(half the reason he works out his shoulders and chest is so that you have more pillow surface area hehe)
in these moments he wishes he has three hands
one to hold you against him
one to caress and run through your hair
and one more to hold your hand with :(
he just has to settle for alternating between the three
and all the while he is just constantly. pressing. kisses. against the crown of your head
âi love youâ
âi love you too, sanâ
and not even twenty seconds later
âi love you so muchâ
âi love you so much too, sanâ
repeatedly confesses his love to you because itâs true he loves you so much itâs crazy
and when he can hear the sleep starting to cling to your voice, heâll wish you goodnight
with many more kisses to go along with it <33
he doesnât let go of you once during the night
Mingi
have you seen his hip rolls-
okay from the start
9/10 times it starts with you cuddling
itâs all good and nice and fluffy and youâre watching something or just scrollingÂ
he just likes to be in physical contact with you in any way
one of you is mindlessly touching the other- very casual at first
casual kiss on your bare shoulder or you kissing his jaw or knuckles
until one of you is in the mood and starts touching the other with purpose
and wait until the other starts squirming visibly
if youâre in his lap? youâre gonna feel it before he can even tell you
and you turn around all smug
but he doesnât give you time to react because he will kiss you
heâs also prob really big on makeouts
he just loves the feel of his lips on yours as if theyâre made for each other
or his tongue inside your mouth and the way you move under him while he kisses you
will have a good proper makeout session before you proceed
his hands will literally travel everywhere
plays with your breasts as he kisses you
also he will kiss every inch of you
and when he goes down on you?
he knows his nose brushing against your clit is your undoing
and he takes advantage of it
the tip of his nose glistening undoes something in you-
will basically make out with your clit
and make you come multiple times on his fingers and tongue before he gives you what you want
those hands squeezing your hips along with that really donât help-
eats you out like a man starved
but before that
heâs also the type to get his own fair share of oral
and you would love to please him as well
you want that
you love it when he rolls his hips, clutching your hair, whether his cock is in your mouth or inside you
and when youâre having sex even tho he gives dom energy, he likes you on top
heâs just gonna be holding your hips and making you bounce on him
heâs gonna slow it down, make it bouncy ;)Â
your hands on his chest
heâs gonna watch you with those eyes
and groan a lot it fuels you
it drives him crazy when you snake a hand down to your front to circle your own clit
and when you climax and collapse against his chest, heâll hold you steady against his chest and grip your ass
will plant his feet against the bed so that he can pump up into you
i feel like he can be pretty filthy in the best way
like he likes it messy
he wants to make you a mess in every sense
he will spill inside you all over you and be proud of it and look at the mess like itâs a work of art
and the air smells of sweat, sex and love <3
will probably prompt another round-
if he lets you have your way first, heâs def going to have his way in the second round
and that could entail a lot of things
but at some point, itâs definitely gonna be him pinning your wrists down on the bed with one hand
while his own thighs holds your open
and he makes you see stars with his fingers alone
and at some point
itâs going to be him pounding relentlessly into you, a hand on your back pinning you down to the bed
and the second round is always so much more intense
you think youâre spent? he knows exactly how to get you riled up again
but he knows when youâre tired and done even when you say you want more
so he just turns very soft all of a sudden and kisses you like a boy having his first kiss
because heâs so in love with you :((Â
and then heâs gonna tell you what you mean to him
heâs gonna make you look at him as he tells you how beautiful you are and how you mean the whole world to him
sometimes he sees doubt in your eyes but he wonât go away until he clears it
and then youâre both giggling and heâs looking around wondering what to do
âthe towels first, please,â you giggle again and he hops off the bed, laughing to himself
probably drags you in the shower with him too and teases you a lot there
so much that sometimes you have another round there-
always so fun with him innit
but he makes sure youâre fed, hydrated, clean and content before he joins you in bed and the cuddlefest starts
human pillow i said what i said
and heâll caress your hair or skin as he tells you about something that happened at work or you rant about something that annoyed you today
and he jokes and teases you and you slap his chest and heâs suddenly a laughing mess and youâre joiningÂ
and then at some point, you both fall asleep in each otherâs arms <3
Wooyoung
omega vibes.
a bratty sub
and wooyoung literally ousts himself as having a degrading kink
not his heart fluttering when hongjoong bossed him around
he likes to tease you and frustrate you all day
a quick smirk here
a sneaky touch thereÂ
feel like wooyoung would also make you wear vibrating panties or put a remote-controlled vibrator in you
will turn the vibration up at the worst times
like when youâre talking to someone or when itâs super quiet
heâll give you the cheekiest grin from across the room
especially when a noise accidentally slips out of you
he loves watching you awkwardly fumble and pretend you didnât just moan
sometimes in the bedroom when heâs pressing the vibrator against your clit, heâll pull away at the last second just before you reach your orgasm
and heâll be like oops sorry :))
until the sexual tension makes you snap
he lets you flip him over or pin him against the wall as you kiss his lips swollen and mark his neck until itâs bruised
and you can feel how smug he is
he loves when you show him his place
and when you mark him with hickeys
youâll push him onto the bed
and sometimes you tie his wrists together
heâs such a brat you canât help but try and tame him even when you know itâs hopeless
so you just give up midway and heâs all smug and laughing and youâre like okay have your way then
itâs just very fun with him never a boring moment
and feels like a game of who has more control (youâve got equal points)(youâre both in negative)
you bet he keeps a record of that
also he gets turned on at the strangest of times
youâre cleaning and he saw you bend down to get that dust? heâs turned on
you almost tripped and made the cutest face afterwards and he teases you but you glare at him? heâs turned on
but the same goes for you
all he has to do is roll his sleeves and display his delicious veiny arms while he cooks
and youâre a whining mess
he knows it
we all love wooyoung in the kitchen
speaking of the kitchen-
no one would eat the food he makes if they knew how many times heâs fucked you on the countertop lol
but he fucks you on every surface he can so-
he loves going down on you mostly because of the noises you make when heâs eating you out
and he knows exactly what move of his tongue or lips against your core earns what noise
he knows you have a thing for his nose digging into your clit tooÂ
so heâs gonna make the most of it ;)Â
will let your thighs squeeze him as he makes out with your clit
but when he pushes them apart? the veins on his arms pop and you canât help but run your fingers all over themÂ
his arms are just such a work of art
and then heâs trailing kisses up your body and kissing you as if heâs short on breath
also has a thing for fisting your hair when you go down on himÂ
and oh goodness does he make the most pretty sounds youâve ever heard
basically the two of you live to rile the other up no matter what way it is <3
when heâs finally inside you, heâs either taking full control or just letting you do whatever you want thereâs no in-between
mostly itâs the latter because he loves to see you ride him
but just because youâre on top of him doesnât mean youâve got full control. he makes sure you know that
because he is going to pound into you from under you and make you see stars <3
aftercare is something ingrained in him
itâs like he gets all his energy back just to take care of you :((Â
heâs fussing over you, not letting you move before he cleans you up and makes you drink or eat something
he has to give the green light for you and at this point, you let him
because who wouldnât enjoy a fussy woo??
and then heâs like âletâs shower together ;) â and youâre like
âah. is that what all of this was for?â
not complaining though
but the best part about showering together isnât another round- thatâs rare
you simply love it when youâre washing each other up
he loves when you shampoo his hair and massage his scalp
and he rubs the knots out of your neck or arms or thighs
wherever you might be feeling sore from your escapades lol
thereâs still a couple of teasing remarks and wandering hands here and there
but he makes sure youâre all warm and dry before he tucks you into bed or wraps you in a huge fluffy blanket on the couch
heâll insist that you do nothing while he cooks up a small meal for you two because if you two hadnât become distracted during the process of making dinner, then you two are hungry from the energy youâve expended LOL
and when heâs made sure youâre absolutely full heâll cuddle you until you both succumb to food coma
Jongho
we all know heâs not physically affectionate
but boi does it look like heâs been doing this all his life
big on foreplay
gets you all hot and bothered first with the way his fingers run over your arms or your thighs
gentle squeezes in between or like something muttered in your ear
until you canât take it anymore and you make the first move
slow kisses are his things like he loves the intimacy when youâre just making out like you have all the time in the world
and heâs shy at first def, will laugh and joke between kisses just so he can get super comfortable
before he turns into a monster
peppers kisses all over your face :(Â
has a knack for making you feel like youâre the most precious thing in this world
to him you are <3
has a thing for necks
will kiss your neck and your sweet spot until it turns red
probably nibble on it too heâd love to see you marked by him
will trail kisses all the way down
will play with your breasts for the longest time as well
just teasing you and making a mess out of you
before he lets his fingers touch you down there and find you already soaked
and god does it give him an ego boost
anddd thatâs where things get interesting
watches your every move when he touches you down thereÂ
and has a shit-eating grin on his face throughoutÂ
(which you love youâre not even gonna complain)
heâs gonna make you come multiple times on his fingers thatâs a given
he loves to watch you move under him and will probably have a hand on your stomach to brace you and refrain your movements
which drives you so fucking crazy
youâre going to beg for him before he ever lets his cock near you
and when heâs ready for that, heâll make it so agonisingly slow
will 100 percent grip your thighs as he spreads them apart and just let you feel him against you
before he enters you
he takes a moment to relish in the feeling of your tight walls against him- he can never get enough of that
will pump slowly into you first before it becomes rushed and then-
uses his strength to manhandle you into the position that he wants
heâll hook his arms under your knees and pound you against the wall pls i need holy water stat
in your bedroom, in your living room, in the shower
omg when he gets all sweaty
and his muscles are glistening as they ripple with his movements lol
dom.
growls in your ears
smacks your ass 100 percent.Â
it drives him crazy to feel you trembling against him
or the way your nails dig into his shoulders and drag down his back as he fucks you
he thrives on the sounds you make to the point youâd almost think heâs getting off on that alone
if you come before him, he wonât stop pounding into you until he does
and boi does he still have some stamina left
but you have all the time in the world so heâll take it slow again
build it up
make you want him again before he touches you
and it just keeps getting more heated, more interesting as the night gets darker
will make sure youâre not overwhelmed though, he really doesnât want you to feel weird at any point of it all
he wants what you want, to the point you sometimes have to beg him to tell him what he wants
because heâs always focused on pleasuring you and you want to return the favour too
so on the rare occasions that he does let you take the reins, you make it a night he wonât forget ;)
by the time youâre done youâre so tired but this man still has some stamina
so he takes you to the shower with him and washes you up :( <3
dries your hair for you too :(Â
youâre so sleepy by now but heâll carry you to bed :(
and then you cuddle and make jokes until you fall asleep feeling the most content ever
and even though jongho is starting to feel tired too, he fights to stay awake just so that he can cherish the feeling of you in his arms for just a little longer
presses soft little kisses on your forehead and down the tip of your nose and over your cheeks and along your jaw
heâs so soft please
when he really canât hold off sleep any longer heâll tuck you closer under his chin before he drifts off too with a smile on his face
has the audacity to giggle at you with his gummy smile when he sees you hobbling the next day because youâre kinda sore
but heâll be at your beck and call for anything you need the rest of the day <3
#idk who wrote this i dont recognise her#ateez x reader#ateez smut#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong smut#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa smut#yunho x reader#yunho smut#yeosang x reader#yeosang smut#san x reader#choi san smut#mingi x reader#mingi smut#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung smut#jongho x reader#jongho smut#ateez hard hours
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àłàż SAVAGE BONDS part I ă feyd rautha x atreides!reader ă
summary: destined to one another since conception, your very life belongs to feyd rautha. as a token of good will you are sent to the strange planet of giedi prime a week before your wedding ceremony, only to learn that it is far more hostile than you imagined it would be. a failed assassination attempt has tempers flaring and sparks flying when it is decided to be safer to sleep alongside feyd. you hate to admit it, but he has played the part of a "protector" better than the guards who were tasked to watch over you. whilst you have been dreading this union all of your life, feyd has been anticipating it. meeting you as children had left him awe-struck. . . and a bit obsessed.
warnings: !SMUT HEAVY IN FUTURE PARTS!, feyd is super overprotective in this fic and kills multiple people in your honor, blood and gore, it's a dark romance folks, political marriage, forced proximity, temporary unrequited love, a lil dubious consent in some scenes, there's a lot of talk about breeding, enemies to lovers (in your mind, not his), there's a "who did this to you" scene, knife play, blood kink, breeding kink heavy, lots of scent marking/marking. (needs to be edited, so please excuse any temporary errors!)
word count: 5.3k
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The ancient walls of Castle Caladan were a fortress, the long winding halls a labyrinth to those unfamiliar with its layout. You had tried feigning sleep when you had been made aware of the surprise guestâs arrival, a one âreverend motherâ- as your mother referred to her. The cool air from the hallway nipped at your exposed arm, which currently hung limply over the side of the bed.Â
âSheâs even smaller than your son, Jessica.â The voice sounded more like a wheeze- and it certainly didnât belong to anyone you had ever met before.Â
âAs Iâve already said, the Atreides are slow to grow.â Your motherâs tone didnât hold even a semblance of a bite to it, not like you expected. She was usually fiercely protective of you and your brother.Â
Your finger twitched, causing the woman to stifle whatever disapproving comment she was about to make. Being caught eavesdropping like this certainly wasnât ideal, but you found it impossible not to be curious.Â
âShe really is just like her brother,â More like he was more like you. Youâd always been the rowdy one of the two. Paul must have been listening in as well, and you imagined that he was more insulted at the comments of his lack of height and muscle than you were. âThe little rascals.âÂ
There was a beat of silence before the woman began to crone again. This time you opened your eyes just a sliver, staring into the dark abyss of your room so that you could make out the shapes of your mother and the stranger.Â
âRest now. Both you and your brother need to be prepared to meet my Gom Jabbar.â The reason couldnât be pinpointed, but there was something about her tone that filled you with dread.
Your mother woke you up the next morning, bright and early.Â
Not even the breathing exercises that your mother had taught you had been able to calm you down last night. The darkness had swallowed you whole, which resulted in a dreamless sleep that left you feeling just as unrested as you had felt the night before. Your mother noticed your hesitations, the skirts of her dress dragging against the stone floor as she moved in the direction of your closet. The dress that she picked out for you was one of your more official garments, the red hawk of the Atreides crest proudly sewn onto the right breast.Â
âDid you sleep well?â She questioned as she laid the dress neatly onto the edge of the bed, urging you to stand once her hands were free.Â
You blinked at her, nervously brushing your hands along the soft cotton of your nightdress. Your voice felt stuck in your throat, but you still managed to lie.Â
âYes, of course.â Your tone was flat, and for once she didnât question you on the reasoning. She knew exactly what had you feeling so uncomfortable in your own home.Â
Gom Jabbar. Gom Jabbar. Gom Jabbar.Â
What exactly did the old woman want from your family? Lady Jessica was a Bene Gesserit, which could only mean that this woman was a higher up, sent to pay you and your brother a visit. You knew nothing about any âcoming of ageâ rituals.Â
Paul barged into the room, dressed in his finer clothes as well. He leaned against the wall of your room, lips pursed as if he was deep in thought. You tilted your head to the side, leveling him a worried glance. He simply shook his head, and you knew at once that he wasnât trying to dismiss your worries.Â
âNot here. Later.â His expression told you, and for once you obeyed.Â
âThe reverend mother is waiting on the both of you. Paul, get out of your sisterâs room so she can get ready.â She commanded, her tone leaving no room for whining or disobedience.Â
He groaned, pushing himself off of the wall so that he could head back out and into the hall. You shrugged out of your dress quickly at the hurried insistence of your mother, allowing her to do up the clasps of the dress for you.Â
âWho is she?â You asked simply, brushing your hair to the side so that she could get a better grasp of the dress.Â
âShe was my teacher at the Bene Gesserit school and now she is the Emperorâs Truthsayer.â Your mother sighed out your name, turning you quickly so that you were facing her. âYou need to do exactly as she says. There is no room to be prideful today, do you understand?â Her eyes were pleading, and you knew that she had your best interests in mind.Â
You and your mother walked wordlessly out into the hall, catching up with your brother who was busy running his fingers along the uneven stone walls. You flashed a quick look at your mother before jogging to catch up with Paul, taking the hem of his sleeve into your hand.Â
âWhat do you know?â You whispered, turning your head so that you could look at your mother. Much to your surprise she seemed to be in no hurry to separate the two of you.Â
âIâve had dreams about her before,â He whispered, and you had to pick up your pace to keep up with his strides. âAnd mother told me this morning that I have to tell her about my visions.âÂ
Your mouth went a bit dry at the realization that this woman truly was here just for you and your brother. What is the Gom Jabbar and what did it entail? There was no telling.Â
âSheâs in my morning room, you two.â She called out after you.Â
Jessica caught up, leveling the both of you a disapproving motherly look that had the two of you slowing your strides to match hers. She seemed a bit hesitant, eyes flickering between you and your brother and the closed door.Â
The âreverend motherâ sat in one of the tapestried chairs, her arms perched on either side of the armrests as she watched the three of you come in. The view behind her was beautiful, the sprawling, green farmlands of the Atreides family holding on full display through the large windows behind her. You glanced at your brother, eyes widening when you realized that he was already looking at you. He bowed in her direction and you followed his lead.Â
âThey are a cautious bundle, arenât they?â The witch-like woman croaked, looking between the two of you.Â
âAs they have been taught, your reverence.âÂ
In this room, here in front of this woman, Jessica was no longer the Dukeâs concubine nor your mother. She was reduced to that of a pupil in the face of her teacher. You kept yourself from fidgeting, clasping your hands in front of you. You fought the urge to reach out and grab your brotherâs hand, as the two of you so often did when faced with anxiety as children. Fear hadnât regressed you to that of a blubbering child in years.Â
Your mother also seemed to fear the woman before her. There was something in her tone that led you to believe that whatever she was here for, it surely wasnât a pleasantry. Your brother was tense at your motherâs other side, jaw tense as he stared the reverend mother down.Â
âTeaching is one thing, but there are some things that cannot simply be taught,â Paulâs eyebrows furrowed as she spoke, and as if she was dismissing a servant of the castle, she waved your mother off with a flick of her wrist. âYou and your daughter leave us. It will be her turn soon.âÂ
For the first time that morning your mother hesitated, eyes softened as she looked upon her son.
âYour reverence, I-â She began, but was cut off before she could finish whatever it is she was going to say. Surely it was meant to be an objection.Â
âJessica, you know that this must be done.â Her voice held a tone of finality. There was no room for your mother to try and wiggle the both of you two out of this trap.
âYes. . . of course.â Your mother straightened, turning towards both of you.Â
âThis test. . . Itâs very important to me, you two.â She spoke in a hushed voice, eyes still fearful.Â
âTest?â The two of you questioned at the same time, looking at one another in concern. You were confused, even more so than you were before.Â
âRemember that youâre the dukeâs son.â And with that your mother was grabbing your arm, pulling you in the direction of the door.Â
âI suppose that it is my turn?â Your voice shook with anger as you practically tore the door off of its hinges, anxious to take your brotherâs place. His cries and whimpers did not go unheard, even with the thick wood separating the two of you.Â
Looking at him now, his right arm still shaking from the pain, was like being slapped across the face.Â
âRight you are, girl. Jessica, please escort your son out of the room.â There was a silvery glint in her bright eyes- a challenge. She could sense it in you.Â
Your mother didnât interrupt this time, and without any words exchanged the door closed. Your brother was too shaken up by whatever had taken place in that room to fully comprehend that the same thing was going to happen to you. He tossed a terrified glance over his shoulder at you just before the heavy doors closed. The sound of it echoed around the room, pulsing in your chest as you tried to steady the adrenaline pumping through your veins.Â
âYour future. . . do you know what is expected of you?âÂ
You eyed the black box that sat next to her as you began closing the distance between the two of you. The question she had asked. . . it was a touchy subject with you. Of course you knew. A day didnât go by that you werenât mortified by the prospect of your future. You only had three short years to live and enjoy before you would be forced to abandon your family to join hands with another one.Â
âOf course I do. It is my duty to marry.â Your voice had a bite to it, your eyes unwavering as you stared her veiled face down.Â
âIt is your duty to marry a Harkonnen. It is an honor to be the only reason that these two great Houses are allies. Your heirs will be powerful beyond comprehension.â The way she spoke. . . she truly believed the shit she was spouting.Â
It was impossible to consider marrying Feyd an honor. It was an ever-present looming threat.Â
âPut your right hand in the box.â She commanded, nodding her head in itâs direction.Â
It seemed harmless enough, nothing more than a metal box. You bent your head ever-so-slightly, trying to have a look inside. It appeared to be a pitch black, endless void. No beginning or end in sight.Â
You did as you were told, biting the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from muttering anything too disrespectful under your breath. If Paulâs screams were anything to go off of then this was going to be painful. Still, you were shocked by how cold the box was. You wiggled your fingers a few times, feeling the metal encasing them. Slowly a tingling sensation began, almost as if they were falling asleep.Â
âYouâve heard of animals chewing off a leg to escape a trap? Thereâs an animal kind of trick. A human would remain in the trap, endure the pain, feigning death that he might kill the trapper and remove a threat to his kind.âÂ
The tingling sensation somehow melded into. . . heat. No, not heat. Burning. It felt as though you had your hand held up to a bright flame. You flinched, but froze when you finally noticed that the reverend mother was holding something against your neck. Your eyes flickered the best that they could to her hand, not wanting to turn your head.Â
âWhat I hold at your neck is the Gom Jabbar. The tip of the needle is dipped in poison. Remove your hand from the box and I will plunge it into your neck.âÂ
The palm of your free hand began to sweat, the gravity of the situation finally landing on your shoulders. You would be forced to endure the pain and there was nothing that anyone outside of the doors could do. No guards had come to protect your brother when it was his turn, and no matter how emotional your mother had gotten whilst hearing his screams she still hadnât rushed in after him. You could truly die here in this room.Â
âWhy are you doing this?â You urged, wincing again as the burning continued to worsen.Â
Now it felt as though you were almost touching a flame, fingers dancing dangerously close. It wasnât just uncomfortable now but painful. âTo determine if youâre human. Now be silent.â
Meant for greatness, yet stifled before her prime.Â
It was impossible for your clipped wings to take flight. The Bene Gesserit had instilled in you your purpose from a very young age, letting it be known that you were little more than cattle to be sold off to breed. The whole arrangement was dehumanizing, but this was the way of galactic high society. Every House had been developed by the close, watchful eye of the Bene Gesserit. Your mere existence was a result of a centuries long breeding program, so how could you ever expect for your own life to be any different?Â
Every child, especially in their naive youth, dreams of greatness. There was a point in time where you had hoped to mean something. There were differences to be made, rules to be broken, wars to be raged- but you would never be at the helm of any of it. But Paul. . . Paul was different.Â
âYou know something that I donât.â You werenât asking Paul, rather telling him what you already knew.Â
Where you were used to your brother pulling no punches, he had been overly cautious with his treatment of you during training today. For a second he just stared ahead blankly at the wall, and you wondered whether he would try to lie. The older youâve gotten, the stranger other peopleâs treatment of you has become. Women were little more than something to be owned. It was a hard lesson to learn and was one you were still grappling with.Â
Your femininity were the chains that bound you. And what of your ambition? It was currently acting as the flames licking at your boot heels. Soon you feared that it would fully engulf you; become your undoing.Â
âTell me.â Your lovely features crumpled, and as childish as it was you found yourself giving his arm a slap.Â
He jumped at the sudden contact, eyes widening as he turned to face you after what felt like an eternity of prolonged silence between the two of you. The hard flooring felt cool beneath your legs as you stretched them out beneath you, and for a second you found it hard to keep yourself up in a sitting position. The world felt unsteady beneath you, both literally and figuratively.Â
Paul didnât have to say anything at all. You looked, you saw, you felt, you understood. Your shared connection had nothing to do with your genes, rather it had to do with your likeness. Two bodies, two minds, but one soul. Your twinâs features crumpled, mirroring that of your own as he pushed a few strands of dark hair away from his face.Â
âSo there is nothing I can do? My fate is sealed.â Your lips felt numb as you spoke.Â
Your brotherâs visions were more frequent than they had ever been before. âHorrorsâ, heâd described them.
âIf there was something I could do. . .â He started, turning quickly to face you, tucking one leg beneath himself. âMy hands are tied. Mother and fatherâs hands are as well.âÂ
Hiding you away or knowingly allowing you to escape your duties would be seen as an act of treason. Youâd be putting your parents and their status in danger, and no matter how desperate you were to get out of any sort of marriage pact, it was far too late. Since the very moment you were conceived, this was what you were meant for.Â
âWhen will the orders come down, you think?â You pulled your legs up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them tightly.Â
You wished that you could stay like this forever, protected from the rest of the world. If only you hadnât been born as twins at all. You wanted so badly to be like Paul.Â
But the galaxy didnât work like that. You were not fortunate enough to get what you wanted.Â
âSoon.âÂ
You felt comforted by the hand that he placed on your shoulder, and even more so when he kept it there until you felt as though you were able to stand up.Â
You were to marry into House Harkonnen. That was your purpose; to unite the feuding houses and birth powerful offspring. You had met Feyd once before, but only for a fleeting moment. It hadnât been awkward- no, back then the two of you hadnât cared enough to pay any mind to the looming threat that was your betrothal. Youâd been too young back then to fully grasp the severity of the situation.Â
You remembered being shocked by his size. He towered over Paul, appearing to be years older than he really was. His hair had been dark back then, thick and slightly curly.Â
He had only just been taken under his uncleâs wing at the time. The environment of Giedi Prime had yet to fully sink into the young boy. The Harkonnenâs looks had always been startling to you, no matter how many times youâd been exposed to it. They were dark creatures, brooding, hairless with skin as pale as milk- not to mention violent.Â
The desperate way that Paul had clung to you was not lost on you. You let him squeeze you as tightly as he needed, your arms locking around his back. This meeting would change everything. In a matter of moments your life as you knew it would be taking a drastic turn, and not for the better.Â
Youâd made that very same trek to the parlor room a million times. This was your ancestral home- had been in your family longer than you thought was conceivable, and yet this felt new to you. Wrong. The shadows from the windows were casting strange lights on the wall beside you, and your footsteps sounded muffled in your ears as your pounding heart nearly deafened you. Your fatherâs hand brushed against your palm a few times, his attempt at showing you physical comfort without causing any sort of scene. You knew that this was Feyd-Rauthaâs right.Â
You were Feyd-Rauthaâs right. That simple fact alone was enough to send you reeling, that morning's breakfast churning in your stomach.Â
âIt will be fine.â Your motherâs fingers shaped the words at her side, a comforting and silent presence.Â
Your parents had always protected you. They had taught you well in all aspects of life. She was right. You had to trust yourself just as much as you trusted them. This will be fine. You will survive.Â
But god, you wanted to live.Â
Your worst fear was being locked up like a caged animal, only taken out to be played with or paraded around. You didnât want to be somebody's little wife; you were no homemaker or bed warmer.Â
âI am better than this.â You thought to yourself, your hands balling into fists at your sides.Â
As the double doors began creeping open, you felt the sudden urge to run the opposite direction, your parents be damned. The feud between House Atreides and House Harkonnen would surely become deadly if you were to turn your back on the promise now, and that was the only thing that steeled your feet. You stood, back straight and hands clasped tightly at your front.Â
You looked to be a pillar of strength, but oh- you were so close to crumbling. Your father took a step past the threshold, eyes hard as he bowed his head respectfully in the Baronâs direction. There was still time to turn around. The door was right there, and you were sure that you could commandeer a ship. Youâd piloted a few times before in your life, and while you werenât the best, you were certain you could get yourself the hell off of Caladan. You shuffled your feet, eyes wide as you looked up and caught your motherâs gaze. Her lips were parted, and you could tell that she was trying to decipher your expression.Â
âWhat are you doing?â Her hand moved quickly at her side, the flowy gauze-like material of her skirts hiding her frantic movements from the visitorâs view.Â
Nothing. You were doing nothing. There were no options yet. If you fled then the insubordination would fall back on your parents. If you downright refused then the outcome would be the same. There was nothing you could do but keep your mouth shut and try not to show the Harkonnen even a semblance of vulnerability.Â
Disdain rolled off of you in waves as you breezed into the parlor, eyes locked on the side of your fatherâs face as he conversed with the baron. Tensions were high, even now. No pleasantries were being exchanged, that you were sure of. The Harkonnenâs stark black attire was a startling contrast to their pale skin. There, in the middle of two other men, whom you were sure were present for reasons of protection, was Feyd.Â
He looked the same as the rest of them. Hairless, blue eyes dripping with something that could only be described as malice. Gone was the curly haired child that you remembered. In his place stood someone unrecognizable to you. You wanted to question what the Baron had done to Feyd, but you already knew. Perfection was expected on Geidi Prime.Â
He had shaped Feyd into the very likeness of perfection. The once dark haired boy was now a walking, talking machine; not even a dead leaf echo of the boy you met all those years ago.Â
You tried to map out every single one of his microexpressions, searching desperately for any sign that he might disapprove of the predicament the both of you had found yourselves in. He tilted his head to the side, observing you with a horrifying level of concentration. The Baron began to speak, saying something that you didnât care enough to listen to. You were too distracted by the terrifying man before you.Â
âShe will come back home to Geidi Prime with us. No objections, correct?âÂ
You were marrying him out of an obligation, this he was already privy to. He had seen the reluctance written plain across your face as youâd entered the room. Youâd wanted to run. Away from him, away from your responsibilities- and he could not blame you for it. His understanding stopped there though, simply because this proposal wasnât going against his own wishes.Â
âThe wedding isnât taking place for another week.â The Duke didnât seem to like the idea of his unwed daughter leaving his side.Â
Feyd fought back a smile, having known that the Baronâs sudden request would have this effect on the Atreides family. He watched you squirm like a bug under a magnifying glass, your hand moving at your hip. For a second he thought that you might be tugging at the seam of your dress, writing it off as nothing but a nervous tick- but then he saw the way your motherâs eyes followed those movements.Â
The two of you were communicating.Â
âThat may be so, however I think that it is only right that your daughter,â Baron Vladimir motioned in your direction. âBecomes better acquainted with Feyd. You donât agree?âÂ
His uncle decided that it was best to test the boundaries of this alliance. He was pushing the Duke, seeing how far he could get. Letoâs lips twitched, his eyes flickering thoughtfully towards you. Feyd was finding it hard to pay attention to anyone else other than you in the room. Heâd spent years imagining what you would look like as an adult- dreamt about it. Heâd eagerly been awaiting this moment, counting the days that he could finally be reunited with you.Â
It wasnât just because he had been promised powerful heirs. It was the thought that someone was fated to marry him. Since before he was even conceived, you had always been promised to him. That idea had been put into his head since childhood. You were the constant topic in his mind, a person that was unavoidably meant to be in his life for the rest of his days.Â
In a strange way he had loved you since he was but a child.Â
Seeing you for that first time had been better than he had anticipated. You were a beautiful little girl, but now? The child that he had met all those years ago did not hold a candle to the grace and brilliance of the woman that stood before him. Nobody else could ever compare. You didnât have to fall for him right now, he was content with that. Hell, you didnât even have to tolerate him. He would find pleasure in wearing you down. He was going to make you love him.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.Â
The adrenaline had run its way out of your system, leaving you cold and alone on a planet that was so incredibly alien to you, you werenât sure how youâd ever be expected to adjust. Even the oxygen felt different in your lungs- the sweet, acrid smell of chemicals tinging the air around you. It was nothing like your home on Caladan. Your home was a stone castle, but this? This was a cold, black fortress.Â
You werenât sure if it was meant to keep people out. . . or in.Â
You thought back to that fateful day with the reverend mother.Â
âYouâve heard of animals chewing off a leg to escape a trap? Thereâs an animal kind of trick. A human would remain in the trap, endure the pain, feigning death that he might kill the trapper and remove a threat to his kind.âÂ
You couldnât chew your leg off to be free of this. No, you had to lay in wait. Only then could you strike if the situation called for it.Â
âStrikingâ could wait until tomorrow though. For now you wanted to rid yourself of the anxiety. Sleep was the only cure you could think of.Â
âIs the room to your liking?â That husky voice of his was already grating on your nerves.Â
Feyd had only attempted to speak to you a few times and already you were sick and tired of his presence. He was a constant reminder that you would never know what it was like to be free. Then again, was anybody in the galaxy truly free? Feyd sure seemed to be carefree in his current position.Â
His tone felt off, like he was toying with you.Â
âI would be far more pleased about my new living quarters if you were to leave.â You said simply, pulling the slate gray blanket up and over your chin.Â
You werenât sure if it was due to his ill-breeding, but he didnât seem to care that you were in nothing but your night dress. He walked into the room in long-legged strikes, letting the door shut behind him. Never before had the two of you been alone together, not since you were children at least. If you were back in your family home you would feel safer during a moment like this.Â
You were in his territory now, meaning he had full reign over everything. Your father and family name couldnât protect you on Geidi Prime.Â
âYouâre in quite the rush to be rid of me,â He didnât falter for even a second as he moved to sit down on the edge of the bed, leaning back against the plush mattress with a small sigh. âIf I didnât know any better, I would think that you didnât like me.â He didnât seem upset at the notion of you disliking him. In fact, there was a glint in his eyes. That same sort of silvery glint youâd seen in the reverend motherâs eyes all those years ago: a challenge.Â
This was nothing but a challenge to him. You were a conquest, and you detested that. Your stomach soured, your face becoming pinched as you glared at him. This was all too much too fast. You were in the comfort of your own home not even four hours ago, and now you were expected to make small talk with the source of your life-long discontent. Â
âAnd what of your concubines? Could you not pester them tonight and give me a moment's peace?âÂ
âI dismissed them from their duties, permanently, weeks ago.â He said simply, his fingers running along the cotton of the comforter.Â
âWhat?â Youâd never heard of such a thing.Â
âSpending time with them would be a waste.â His blue eyes flickered up to meet your eyes. âAcquiring concubines had just been a show of status.âÂ
It took you a few moments to process what he was saying, the burning hatred you had felt just moments ago flickering out into a dull flame.Â
âWhy would spending time with them be a waste? Am I expected to spend that much time with you?â A horror, truly. You had hoped that youâd be able to get away with spending a night or two a week with him, if only to achieve the Bene Gesseritâs goal of siring an heir.Â
âA waste of time. A waste of seed,â He looked at you pointedly, his lip pulling up into a smile that revealed more of his black teeth. âAnd both of those things are important to me.âÂ
Your stomach hollowed out as you were once again reminded of what was expected of you. You had a week to prepare mentally for your wedding night, which you werenât sure was enough.Â
âAnd what happened to the concubines? Are they still being housed here?âÂ
âWhy? Are you jealous?â He was smiling even wider than he was before.Â
A shiver ran through you as you noticed how predatory his body language was- you felt like prey under his haughty gaze. It was hard to believe that Feyd had been administered the Gom Jabbar test and passed.Â
This man was no human. He was an animal, that you were certain.Â
âWickedly.â Your tone was flat and noncommittal. Even now, you never saw Feyd as a potential lover.Â
The man that was your so-called âdestinyâ was also your jailer.Â
âWell then youâll be happy to know that they no longer live here. . . or anywhere, for that matter.â He sat up, rolling his shoulders back to stretch his broad muscles.
The blood drained from your face as you stared up at him from your spot on the bed. He must have felt the weight of your gaze and turned his head, his eyes alight with. . . pleasure. Violence was as ingrained in him as breathing was. It was his life. Standing before you was the prince of death- pale, striking and terrifying.Â
Animal, indeed.Â
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.Â
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A/N: this chapter was plot heavy, I know, however it was crucial to give you guys some background information so that I can better build tension. the beautiful dividers were created by @ kitsunecafe!
#feyd rautha#feyd x reader#feyd x you#feyd rautha x reader#dune part 2#dune#austin butler#austin butler x reader#smut#dune smut#feyd rautha smut#feyd rautha x you#feyd rautha harkonnen#dune x reader#dune fanfiction#austin butler fic#feyd rautha fic
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the other thing I find very funny about trying to write a canon compliant wol is taking all the wolship hints extremely seriously.
I don't really wolship because I'm just fundamentally not that kind of fan. But I know for those who are, the sheer number of romance hints FFXIV throws at you can be overwhelming to parse in a context where you have a preferred/intended wolship, particularly if you're not attracted to the gender the hints are coming from in the first place (a particular tip of the hat to wlw fans navigating the g'raha of it all). I've seen plenty of people write around them or write them out or be like "no aymeric was for real inviting my wol to a nice platonic zero-subtext dinner," and God bless all of you.
But it's really funny to imagine them all as all-too-real but unreciprocated or perhaps unreciprocatable. The sheer scale of it is comedy. Spoilers for all of FFXIV follow.
Oh God, the Lord Speaker wants to have dinner, just the two of us, at his family estate and not a government building. I hope he doesn't bring up his crush on me. Thal's balls he's about to bring it upâoh thank God there's an emergency. Oh no someone got hurt! Oh no it's the teenage girl with a crush on me.
Your life is a cosmic joke. You watch the Sultana get poisoned and all your friends probably die to save your life and it's kind of all your fault in some ways, I mean at the very least you should've spoken up when they gave the teenager a private army, and then the teenage boy speaks up and is like, "hey, I guess we have at least one ally. What about if we go visit that guy who is really obviously down unbelievably bad for you and wants to lick the sweat off of you." and you have to be like, yeah, Alphinaud. Great idea. Let's do it. I'll call him.
(brief interlude: also haurchefant's DEATH hits so good if you don't reciprocate. It's okay. He gets it. You're going through a lot and even if you had time to sort through your feelings maybe you're just not into him. That would be okay! You can love someone, or the idea of someone, without needing it to be romantically reciprocated. That's chivalric, even. Knightly. So he won't ask you to lie to him and say you love him as he lies dying in your arms. He's not so low as all that. But could you smile for him as you used to? That true hero's smile of yours. And you do, and he dies. And you both know he died for a lie, in a way, or a flight of fancy. And he's okay with that. Are you? Should you be? Should he?)
Then you're into Stormblood and it's like wow, okay. That last part was all high fantasy, of course there were loyal knights and elegant princes. But this is war. Imperialism. Grim business, surely there's no wayâoh no BOTH handsome young revolutionary leaders seem to have a special interest in you?! And so does the Crown Prince of the Empire? Come on, man. I should get to do the whole horrors of war thing without having to also deal with this. Gaius sucked and it was weird that he let his foster daughter run around being openly obsessed with him but at least he never made it my problem.
You can't even get away from it across dimensions. Shadowbringers is a horror story about going on a teambuilding camping trip with your work colleagues for some reason except they all suddenly got really hot and they keep touching you affectionately on the shoulder and being like "I care for you and your happiness. Truly." And also you're being stalked for the whole camping trip by two old men who are obsessed with you. The false climax of the story is that the one old man tries to betray you and give a dramatic monologue about how he loves you but the two of you are doomed by the narrative and then the other old man shoots him in the back like "no actually its MY turn to betray them and give a dramatic monologue about how our love is doomed by the narrative." Then the real climax is old man #1 backstabbing old man #2 in the middle of said monologue before old man #2 dies and gives ANOTHER wistful monologue about his doomed love. Then for the patches they're like okay so we have this even CRAZIER old man who's gonna strike when you're weak and give a dramatic monoloâ
and that's without even getting into the literal soulmate ghost only you can see
my warrior of light never felt more betrayed than in that scene where Y'shtola is like "haha Alisaie and G'raha have crushes on the warrior of light." Like I thought we were COOL, Y'shtola! I work here! This situation is already in such a delicate balance! Right when I got here I met Alisaie's "friend from work" who was like oh haha so YOU'RE the one she can't stop talking about and we never followed up on that because the woman died horrifically like five minutes later right in front of us! Then when Vauthry got away and we had to do all that shit with the dwarves, G'raha kept pausing every ten minutes to be like oooooh I'm so old I'm gonna die soon...at least I got to spend some time with some people who are really important to me...in fact here's what I'd tell the person who's most important to me...actually u know them really well haha. And I just had to sit there and be like wow, dude, crazy.
even in the face of apocalypse you still gotta go back in time like 12,000 years and there's somewhere there who makes you sit and listen to his story which is that the purpose of his whole godlike immortal life was to be in a throuple with you and old man #2 from the camping trip. and you just gotta sit there the whole time knowing you/your past life is the one who broke up the throuple over politics. He's like come help me harangue the old man into streaking in public, he'll do it if you ask.
then you meet and fight and kill God and you gotta turn to the team and be like hey sorry guys can you give me a sec. I'm gonna call God by her real name because we met one time for like four days and after that the promise of meeting me again was one of the things that sustained her through her millennia of suffering. Not like that but like. Idk. Just gimme a sec!
It's a relief when you finally get to Lahabrea and he's like actually I still don't fuck with your vibe. Like thank GOD.
And my WoL is very obviously dad-shaped so Dawntrail had a very specific energy for me but I understand that for plenty of people your deepening rapport with Wuk Lamat had a romantic subtext (same for Koana depending on how you read a few of his lines). And personally I think it's the height of comedy to be like, noooo, babe, your highness, I know you and your brother the king are in love with me and want me to stick around and support you emotionally through this governmental transition haha. But it's just...the cursed wineglass, babe. I GOTTA go figure out what's up with this cursed wineglass.
It's a running gag in some of the more optional content that people are like "you have an unreasonable number of hobbies and side gigs" to the WoL from time to time. But if every time you tried picking up a new hobby some new elf started baring their soul to you, you too would be like Hey Jessie (or sometimes Krile or Tataru), my good friend who is one of the only people in my life who knows what professional ethics and work-life boundaries are, any chance you need muscle on a gig on the other side of the world? Ideally with only Cid and his ex so all libidinal energy in the room is directed towards machinery or someone who isn't me?
ironically one of the only places you get a break from psychosexual obsession is the nier content
#ffxiv#endwalker spoilers#dawntrail spoilers#shadowbringers spoilers#heavensward spoilers#stormblood spoilers#meta: durai report#warrior of light ffxiv
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Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol
So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.
So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.
Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.
I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.
In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.
(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)
I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.
Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.
This post is for them.
Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."
Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.
Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.
Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.
And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.
AND:
This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.
You're valid. You're one of us too.
And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)
#ltleramblings#queer stuff#seriously the fandom fights are so exhausting#thank goodness for the block button#asexuality
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Ok, imagine this, werewolf is in love with his neighbor, a human girl, everything would be fine if it weren't for the fact that the girl is a single mother of a little boy, and I'm not saying this because it's a bad thing for a woman to be a single mother, I'm saying this because of their neighbors, the other human neighbors have the mistaken idea that werewolves are cruel to other men's children, even propagating the absurd idea that werewolves kill the children of other males when they are interested in the mother. Of course our werewolf would never do that, werewolves would never harm a woman's offspring, so he has to be very careful and almost transparent to be able to woo the girl without her thinking that he is a danger to her or his little son
he meets your child first. he's just trying to carry in groceries, all of them in one trip of course, when he hears a small "can I help?" he looks down and sees a human pup with big wide eyes and a missing front tooth. He'd known that knew people had moved in next door a little while ago but he didn't know they came with a kid.
"Sure," he says and hands the kid one bag to carry as they trek up the driveway. it's a short walk and he can easily do it himself, but the werewolf thinks the boy is cute, so young yet already helpful and determined to prove his strength. what a good pack leader he would be one day. the kid drops the bag by his door and then runs back to his yard to play. The werewolf had never paid much attention to his next-door neighbors but he would start now.
He meets you a few days later and wow. he's never met a human so pretty. you seem nervous, a little frazzled from the recent move, but sweet. he tells you about your son helping him with the groceries and offers to help you any time you need anything, just looking for an excuse to see you again.
And you do need his help a lot around the house. it's hard trying to do everything yourself especially when you're raising a little boy. Luckily your neighbor is always there whether it's to replace some shingles on your roof or just play with your son for a little so you can get five minutes to yourself. you won't lie, you do pick specific favors to ask of him. sure you could do your own yard work, but there's just something so sexy about a sweaty hard-working werewolf.
He's so sweet he almost instantly becomes a part of your life. You can tell he's interested in you, you're not an idiot, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't like him too. It's flattering to have someone clearly so into you even knowing you have a child.
You spend of late nights confiding in him and before you know it you start to think you're falling for him. then you happen to mention your blooming romance to one of your coworkers and they inform you, horrified, that if a werewolf is interested in a woman with a child they're known to kill the child so the mother can focus on raising the werewolf pups. The story chills you, you'd heard similar things about lions in the wild, and maybe it was true for all preditors.
you can't help but spiral a little bit, you've been leaving your baby alone with a hungry wolf. but... somehow you don't believe it. He had never shown himself to be violent or even anything but loving towards your son. and you knew he was closer to human than some wild animal. he wouldn't really do something like that, would he?
When you get home you're a little jumpy around your neighbor, which he notices. you don't let your son go over to his yard to play and you don't invite him over for dinner, which is odd, to say the least. but he doesn't push. You feel stupid, avoiding him like this, why should you be scared of someone who'd been nothing but kind?
you go out onto your porch that night and see him out looking up at the stars. when he hears you he waves you over.
"it's a pretty night," you comment sitting beside him, awkwardly.
"prettier with you here," he teases, you feel your face go hot and you have to look away, he laughs at your embarrassment. you're quiet for a long time before you finally bring up what was on your mind.
you don't come out and say "Hey are you going to murder my child to get closer to me?" but instead you ask him:
"you flirt with me a lot, but does it ever bother you that I have a child? does that make you hesitate to have a real relationship?" it's still blunt but it's not quite as accusatory.
"I've always wanted kids, I love your son, I'm not going to run because of it, I want you and you having a son doesn't change that," he assures you. A few months later you'll admit exactly what your coworker said, he was horrified you ever thought he'd be capable of hurting the boy he views as his son, and he tells you in no uncertain terms that he would die to protect the both of you. no harm is coming to either of you while he's here to protect his family.
#monster imagine#monster#monster fucker#teratophillia#monster boyfriend#werewolf x reader#werewolf#werewolves#werewolf boyfriend
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