#but i havent been drawing this year much all i do is drink and yeah | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

azenkii · 5 years ago

Text

A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential

#holy cow this ended up so much longer than i intended #atla #avatar #zuko #firelord zuko #headcanons

7K notes · View notes

starsstruck · 4 years ago

Text

under the amber light

an enemies-to-lovers (kind of) where mc finds herself working in a darkroom along with harry, who she has never gotten along with. 35mm film, watermelon slices, and a lot of dim amber lighting.

pairing: harry x reader words: 12.5 k rated: M

an: hello ! i am back w another little something. i hope everyone enjoys, and im sorry if i got any technical things wrong i havent stepped foot in a darkroom in like 3 years, but yeah ! let me know your feelings and thoughts, enjoy !💘 ***

A breathless ‘hello’ accompanied by a smile as you opened the front door, waving as heads turned towards you.

“Sorry we’re late,” you grinned as Margot pulled you in for a quick hug. You had to work a bit later than usual, Aiden meeting you after your shift ended, both heading to your shared place to change and have a few drinks before heading over to Margot’s. “Work was busy today.”

“Don’t worry about it,” beaming at you, you could tell she’s already had quite a few drinks herself. “People are just getting here now.”

She and her roommates had decided to throw a little party, using the excuse of exams being over for nearly everyone. Her place was usually designated as the ‘party house’ as they had the whole house, not having to deal with irritated landlords, and the neighbours never seemed to mind. Their place was also a bit bigger, even having a little porch to sit out on and a small backyard space.

After waving hello to a few more of your friends that sat on the couches, both Aiden and you headed over to Margot’s room to leave your jackets and bags.

Hearing your name being called from the kitchen as you carried the beers that you had brought over caught your attention. “Hey!”

The familiar voice of Margot’s partner carried through the kitchen, opening your arms wide as you accepted his hug. “Haven’t seen you in a while.” Aleks seemed to have also had more drinks than you, eyelids a bit heavy as he grinned down at you.

“Busy couple of weeks,” you hummed, small frown on your lips as you recalled the final weeks of the semester. You were lucky to only have one exam this semester, but the numerous final papers and assignments were just as bad.

Placing the beers you had brought into the fridge after grabbing one for yourself, you paused for a second when you noticed the fridge magnet bottle opener was not at its usual place.

Glancing across the kitchen at Harry, who’s only acknowledgement of you was a brief glance in your direction when Aleks had called your name. Noticing he had the bottle opener in question, you pulled your attention back to Aleks. “You all done for the term?”

“Yeah,” Aleks sighed, taking a sip of his own drink. “Not as heavy course load this term so I was done fairly early. What about you? Harry mentioned you guys were in the same art history class; I heard the final was pretty tough.”

Glancing over at Harry, you saw his attention was also pulled to Aleks at the mention of his name. His eyes paused on you for a beat, before moving past you to place the magnetic bottle opener back on the fridge.

You knew Harry was the in the same class as you, but there had been very little interaction. In fact, there has been very little interaction between the two of you in general in the months that you had known each other. He was a good friend of Aleks’, and had been quickly integrated into your friend group after Margot started dating Aleks, but you had yet to have any kind of real conversation with him. Quite frankly, you had no idea why Harry seemed to have such distaste for you. His attitude towards you had giving you a bad impression of him, but you had remained polite as ever. Although after nearly four months, it was starting to get irritating.

Grabbing the bottle opener from the fridge, you popped open your own beer before answering Aleks’ question as Harry gave no indication of butting in.

“’M all done as well yeah,” you mused over the stressful weeks that had passed. “I only had one exam, for that art history class. Prof was pretty tough, but she was good. I liked the class a lot.”

You could feel Harry’s eyes burning into the side of your face as you spoke about your shared class, but you refused to look at him.

“Sounds like you had a better time in that class than Harry,” your friend turned to Harry once again, teasingly swatting at his arm.

You only hummed at his words, taking a big gulp of your beer so you wouldn’t have to speak. You could hear friends in the other room laughing loudly, wanting to go join them rather than stand in the kitchen with someone who wanted nothing to do with you.

“You’re here for the summer, aren’t you? Margot mentioned you guys might head out for a little road trip.” Aleks directed his question to you once again.

“Yeah! That’ll be really good. Otherwise I don’t have any big plans. I’m not taking any summer courses, just working. I also started some part time work at a photo lab, developing some film.”

“You started working at a darkroom?”

Both you and Aleks turned to Harry as he spoke for the first time since you’d joined them in the kitchen. He was still leaning back on the counter, eyes narrowed on you. You met his gaze, holding it for a second before slowly nodding.

“Yeah…” muttering, you shot him another glance before focusing your attention back on Aleks. “I’m going to go say hey to everyone else, I’ll see you guys in a bit.”

Taking your chance to leave the kitchen and to head to where nearly everyone sat in the living room, you quickly turned the corner to go catch up with everyone else. It’s not that you didn’t enjoy Aleks’ company, you just wanted a chance to talk to everyone, and quite frankly you weren’t really in the mood to deal with Harry’s broodiness towards you. You didn’t understand it, to be honest. You’d seen him chatty and animated with nearly everyone else, leaving you to think he had some kind of problem with you personally.

Sliding in on the couch next to Margot and some other friends, easily joining in their conversation as you finished off the beer in your hand. The drink was soon replaced, as Margot bounced off to make the two of you some cocktails with whatever liquor she had in her kitchen.

Soon, you had caught up with your friends and were feeling the perfect amount of tipsy. You were resting your head on Aiden’s legs, as you sat on the floor in front of where he sat on the couch, as you both listened to Margot’s animated story about something that had happened during one of her finals.

Someone had grabbed the AUX, deciding to play some Dolly Parton, and you weren’t complaining at the choice. Aiden was playing with your hair, and you felt so content, so at peace. That peace was quickly interrupted, as Margot was tugging at your hand to pull you outside for a smoke.

“How are you,” she hummed, once the two of you were alone sitting across from each other on the porch steps.

“Good,” nodding, as you finally felt relieved from the stressful couple of weeks. “Happy to be done. This summer should be really good as well, everyone’s sticking around. What about you, how are you?”

Margot nodded at your words, smirk playing at her lips. “I’m good, yeah. Aleks wants me to go home with him for a week, meet his family.”

“Really,” drawing out the word, tapping her leg with your foot as you grinned at her. They hadn’t been going out that long, but you knew she was feeling good about their relationship. “You gonna go?”

“I think so,” she nodded, putting out her cigarette as she seemed to think it over. “I really want to. Bit nervous though.”

“They’ll love you,” you reassured. “I know Aleks does.”

“Yeah he does, doesn’t he,” she giggled, scooting over on the step you were sitting on to move closer to you, wrapping an arm you.

“How are things with that guy, what’s his name,” she spoke up after a moment, as you tapped the ash off your own cigarette.

“Nate?” Scoffing as she asked about the last guy you had a small fling with. “Haven’t really talked to him. Honestly he was a bit of a dick, didn’t really get along with him.”

“Yeah you mentioned that,” Margot hummed, resting her head on your shoulder. “Deserve someone better. Maybe you’ll meet someone at the photo lab you’re starting at.”

“Maybe,” you mused, trying not to romanticize the idea of meeting someone cute at your new summer job.

The door clicking open pulled your attention, as you watched Aiden come outside. “I’m heading over to Will’s.”

“You’re leaving?” Both Margot and you spoke the same thing at the same time, as Aiden wrapped his arms around the two of you for a tight hug.

“I’ll see you soon,” he grinned as he made his way down the steps. “You’re okay to get home?”

“Think I’m gonna crash here, I’ll be good.” Aiden nodded as you confirmed you would be okay. “Have fun!”

***

“I’ll grab you a shirt,” Margot mumbled, riffling through her drawers.

Nearly everyone had left, and you were ready to lie down. Both of you had had a little too much to drink having the alcohol eventually making you tired, especially after your long day at work.

Aleks of course got the spot in Margot’s bed, so you were taking one of the couches, having already grabbed a mountain of blankets for yourself.

She passed you a big teeshirt, recognizing it as one she had found at a thrift store with you. “Harry’s crashing here too.”

“What?” Your voice dropped to a whisper-shout, in case someone outside her room could hear. “Where’s he sleeping?”

“On the other couch,” she shrugged. They had two couches in the living room, one much smaller than the other. You sighed, knowing you would inevitably be the one taking the shorter couch.

“That okay?”

“’Course,” you muttered. “It’s your house. Plus Harry’s the one that has a problem, not me.”

Margot rolled her eyes, changing into her pyjamas. “Harry doesn’t hate you,” she knew very well about your issues with him.

“He totally does!” Keeping your voice at a whisper in case the sound carried past the closed door.

“No one hates you.” Margot grinned at you, sitting next to you on her bed as you riffled through your bag. “I told you, he’s just like that with people he doesn’t know.”

“Known him nearly four months,” you mumbled under your breath.

“Well,” she paused. “He’s a sweet guy, I promise.”

Dropping the subject, you made your way over to the washroom and tried your best at taking off your makeup, borrowing a bit of Margot’s moisturizer so your skin wouldn’t freak out on you.

Realizing that everyone had left except for those spending the night, you bid your goodnight to Margot and Aleks before bringing your things to the living room. You were surprised to see Harry already there, distracted by whatever he was doing on his phone.

He glanced up as you dropped some blankets on the couch, eyes holding yours for barely a second. You suddenly felt self-conscious, his ever-intense gaze dropping to your bare legs for a second.

“I can take the small couch,” you mumbled, grabbing hold of a blanket for your makeshift bed.

“Right,” Harry coughed, placing his phone on the coffee table in front of him.

He watched you unfold the blankets, laying them down on the couch. You silently passed him some of the blankets you had gathered, noticing he only had one.

You also couldn’t help but notice he had also changed, wearing a pair of black joggers you could only assume he had borrowed from Aleks. His chest was bare, and you found yourself annoyed with how good he looked like that, forcing yourself not to try and make out newly exposed tattoos.

“Sorry,” he suddenly blurted, breaking the crisp silence as you both made your beds on the couches. “I know this is your usual sleeping spot.”

His words slurred slightly, but his expression was just as unreadable as ever. It was the most he’d said to you all night.

“S’no problem,” you offered him a small smile as your eyes met his. He caught you slightly off guard when he didn’t look away like he usually did. Holding your gaze for a second longer than he should have, you felt the beginning of a flush across your cheeks. His gaze was so intense on you, so nearly hot.

Still, he failed to return your smile, or any other sense of comradery towards you. Once again self-conscious under his stare, you were the one to look away. Muttering a small ‘night’ to him, you slid through the pile of blankets you had created for yourself.

If he had returned the bid goodnight, you hadn’t heard it.

Fine. Quietly huffing to yourself, rolling over on the couch with your legs having to lay a bit folded. You were grateful for how tired you were, not having to think too much about the fact that this situation otherwise would’ve made you nervous.

***

As with any new job, you still felt a bit anxious as you came in for work, even if it had been nearly two weeks of working. As you pulled open the door, smiling at the woman behind the counter at the photo lab.

“Hi!” She greeted you immediately. “How are you?”

“Good thanks,” returning her smile as you moved past the door that separated the customer waiting area, to the behind the counter. “How about you? Busy today?”

“Not too bad, yeah. Mostly pickups. Some rolls back there for you to start on.”

“Perfect,” you smiled at her again, before opening the door that you knew led to the back. You were still a bit nervous, even after a couple shifts. You knew that you knew your way around a darkroom, but it was more daunting when you were working with paying customers photos, and not just your own.

Eyes scanning the room, trying to recall everything you had been told in training. Soon everything slipped your mind, as your eyes fell on a familiar face.

Mouth gaping slightly as if you were to speak, Harry met your gaze. Did he work here too? Why hadn’t you known that. You recalled that night at Margot’s a couple days ago, when you were talking about starting a new job at a darkroom. Why hadn’t he said anything?

“Hi,” you finally spoke, placing your bag on the table.

He was standing across the room, seeming to be mix solvents in the beginning stages of developing his film. He was looking at you from over his shoulder, dressed casually with a bandana pushed through his hair.

“Hi,” he mirrored, briefly looking down to what he was doing before fully turning to face you. “You started working here?”

Nodding slowly, expression matching his. “Yeah,” you smiled a bit, though he didn’t return it. “Just working in the back.” You pointed to the door that led to the darkroom.

He simply nodded, turning away from you again as he reached for something next to him. “These need to be printed.” He passed you a plastic cover filled with film strips, taking a step towards you.

“Right,” nodding, deciding if he wasn’t going to be decently nice you didn’t have to be either.

“You know how everything works, right?” The question irritated you, but your tried not to let it show. Of course you knew how everything worked, you had been hired here.

“Yeah,” was all you said, before opening up the door that brought you into a dark room, faced with another door. Once in the actual darkroom, you felt the wall for where you knew sat the switch for the dim amber lights.

Immediately getting to work, starting with preparing your separate baths filled with solvents. It was when you were pulling sheets of photo paper that you heard the door click open, eyes focusing to see Harry having joined you.

“Forgot to give you this,” he said quickly, sounding almost out of breath. Narrowing your eyes as you grabbed the sheet from his hands, squinting in the dim light to read the words written on the top of the page.

You felt irritated again. It was the basic information sheet on what settings to leave the enlarger at, and how many seconds you should expose for. “Just in case.”

He was practically smirking.

“Thanks.” Voice clipped; you knew it wasn’t best to be a bit moody with him but it wasn’t like he was your boss. You placed the sheet next to you on the counter, waiting for Harry to leave. He only nodded once more, before slipping out the door.

You got back to work, having fake arguments in your head with Harry after he left you bothered. How was it that you had never seen him here before? There wasn’t much of a set schedule per se, so it was completely possible that the two of you had missed each other like this, but it still took you by surprise.

It was nice that you could work more or less by yourself, since at your other job you were constantly dealing with customers and never had a shift alone unless it was a morning shift. Obviously working at the same place as Harry wasn’t going to be a big problem, it was just the way he acted towards you that bugged you.

***

Weeks had gone since you first saw Harry at the studio. It had gotten a bit better; he wasn’t so much being cold with you as he was getting on your nerves. Instead of being passive and ignoring you, he had progressed to badgering you, clearly noticing it bothered you. That was at least, when he was talking to you.

He made sure to double check that the images you were exposing came through correctly, saying things like ‘just have to make sure everything’s good’, and ‘they all should be similar, don’t want any inconsistencies’.

It was irritating to say the least. He never really talked about you about anything outside of work, even though technically he was in your friend group, and that irritated you even more. Neither of you had actually seen each other outside of work, something that usually happened at Margot’s or Aleks’ house.

One of your coworkers, Shane, was shocked when he said Harry had mentioned that the two of you knew each other outside of work.

“Would think that he’s never known to talk to you a day in his life.” Shane had commented with a laugh.

Margot, and even Aleks, had heard all about it, only ever really assuring you that ‘he doesn’t hate you’ and ‘he’s never said a bad thing about you’.

That being said, at least he wasn’t avoiding you like the plague anymore.

“Are you just finishing up?”

Harry had come into the darkroom to gather up some photographs, stacking them in a neat pile before slipping them into an envelope. The two of you were the only one’s left for the evening, the shop closed to the public.

“Yeah, just cleaning up now.”

Just making out his nod in the amber light, he paused before speaking again. “D’you need a ride home?”

That took you by surprise. The two of you hadn’t closed up just the two of you before, but you would have never though he’d ben offering to give you a drive home.

“You don’t have to –”

“It’s no trouble,” he interrupted, reaching for the handle to leave the room.

“I – yeah thank you.”

Nodding at your confirmation, he stepped out of the dark room leaving you to finish up packing everything for the day.

You found Harry sitting in the back room, preoccupied by his phone as he waited for you. “Ready?” He stood suddenly, slipping his phone in his jeans pocket as you reached through your bag for some lip balm.

Following him through the front door, waiting as he locked up before leading you over to where he had parked down the street. Sliding into the passenger seat of his car, the first few minutes of your ride in silence expect for your directions to your place.

“You make other art outside of film. Right?” Harry suddenly spoke, drawing your attention to him as his eyes remained on the road.

“Yeah,” pausing for a second, “I mean, it is my major.”

That caused him to glance at you with a laugh. “I know. I’ve just never seen any of it is all.”

“Never asked.”

“Right,” he said quietly, before clearing his throat and giving you another glance. “Well consider this me asking.”

You bit back a smile. “Next time.”

Nodding with a breathy laugh, just as you recognized the beginning of your street outside. “Here’s fine,” you turned to him, not needing him to go all the way into the winding residential area.

“I can go right to your door,” he turned on his right turn single. “Through here?”

“Yeah,” you directed him through the neighbourhood until he pulled in on the side of the road.

Grabbing for your bag at your feet, digging in it until you reached your keys. “You going to Margot’s on Friday?” Harry pulled your attention back to him.

“Of course,” you smiled slightly, hand on the door as you readied to leave. He nodded, eyes remaining on you as you went to step out of the car. “Thanks for the ride, I’ll see you then?”

“See you then,” he confirmed with a perk in his lips, just as you turned around and shut the door behind you.

***

“Don’t know what to wear,” Margot was muttering to herself as she surveyed the clothes she had just grabbed from her closet.

You had your own outfit crisis at home before coming over to Margot’s, coming over early for once. Aiden was still at work, and you had the day off so you and Margot had spent the afternoon together before everyone would be coming over later on in the night.

“I like that,” you hummed, pointing to the shirt she had just thrown aside.

“I guess,” she mumbled, looking at her outfit in her mirror. “Not really the vibe though, is it?”

Giggling at her words, you rolled over on her bed to fully face her. “And what is the vibe?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed, going back to her closet. “You’re wearing a dress.” Glancing down at your own red sundress at her words, you laughed. Summer was well on its way by now, and you were a sucker for a good sundress. “Plus,” Margot continued as she changed her shirt once again. “I’m mad at Aleks.”

“What’d he do?”

She sighed, sitting down next to you on her bed. “I’m not really mad at him; we got into a little fight and I just wanna look good and ignore him for a bit.”

Humourless laugh leaving her lips, she rose again and took another look at her outfit. “I like this, think I’m happy with it.”

Heading over to the kitchen, you guys took out the big bottle of margarita mix and tequila, deciding to have a nice cocktail outside as the sun set, before everyone else arrived.

“How’s work going?” Margot asked, once the margs were made and the two of you sat outside in the slowly cooling air.

“Work is the same,” you hummed licking salt from your lips. “Nothing really new.”

“What about the new place, with Harry? He said you were doing really good.”

Now that was a surprise to you.

“He did? The jobs good, but honestly working with Harry…” trailing off, you wanted to be delicate with your wording. “He’s still acting like a bit of a pain. Not as much as before but, I dunno…” trailing your finger over the salted rim of the glass, you thought it over. “Like I’ve said, he just doesn’t like me.”

“He likes you fine,” Margot hummed, small laugh in her voice

“Oh well,” muttering into your glass, “finish up your marg.”

Soon, both of you were a couple drinks in and more people had started arriving at Margot’s. The back door was open, spending most of your time outside before the sun fully set just to savour the last bits of the summer night.

You don’t know how much time has gone by, nor how many drinks you’d had, but soon you were slouched on the couch next to your friends, happy grin on your lips. That grin didn’t last long however, as your eyes scanned the room and landed on a familiar face.

“Fuck,” sliding even closer to Margot and Aiden. “That’s Nate.” Pointing with your head to where he stood by the hallway.

Margot lifted her head, not so subtly glancing to the direction you were motioning. “That’s him? He knows Aleks I think.”

“Oh,” you muttered, shooting the guy you didn’t want to see another glance. It wasn’t that things were bad with the two of you, but you had decided you didn’t want to ever see him again.

“I didn’t realize he was coming,” Margot shot you a sympathetic smile.

“It’s okay,” you nodded, cozying up with the two of them and deciding to keep him out of your mind. “Just won’t talk to him.”

You had managed to stick to that, never even interacting with him the majority of the night. It wasn’t until you had stepped out on the front porch for a breather and a smoke, that you suddenly found yourself along with Nate who had apparently followed you out.

Leaning your back against the wooden railing behind you, offering him a small smile and nothing else. “Didn’t know you would be here.” He was the first to speak.

“It’s my friends place,” you hummed, tapping out your cigarette.

“Missed you these past couple of weeks,” his words made you glance at him, only for a second.

“Nate,” you sighed, putting out your smoke. “I told you –”

He cut you off. “I know what you told me. Like I said, I just miss you. You here with anyone?”

“No,” you breathed out, not knowing why you couldn’t just lie to him.

“Why don’t you come home with me?” He bumped his knee with yours, as you still didn’t look over at him.

“Not in the mood,” you muttered, resting your head back against the beam behind you.

“I can get you in the mood,” he shuffled closer to you, as you tightened your arms around your chest.

“Fuck off Nate,” muttering as you finally glared up at him.

Calling your name, he didn’t stop in his pursuit. “Come on –”

“Think she told you to fuck off, mate.”

Both of you turned your heads to the voice coming from the door, seeing Harry standing in the frame, arms folded across his chest.

Christ. You didn’t have the energy to deal with Harry as well, even if in this moment he was helping you out.

As annoyed as you were over the testosterone swirling around you like leaves in the wind, Nate took a step away. He slid away from the two of you with a ‘whatever’ muttered underneath his breath.

Blowing out a sigh, you sank down to sit on the wooden step, extending your legs out in front of you. You could practically hear Harry hesitating behind you, before he finally made his way to you and tentatively sat down.

“Thanks,” your voice was quiet as you finally spoke, face forward as you kept your eyes focused on your sock covered feet that you knocked together.

“He’s a dick,” his voice was soft, in fact you think that was the softest you’d ever heard it.

“Yeah,” humourless laugh leaving your lips as you nodded. “He is.” You were annoyed with yourself of how you had let Nate ruin your evening.

Finally facing Harry, you found his eyes already on you. “Do you like margaritas?”

***

You knew your way around Margot’s kitchen well, spending enough time at her place to call it your second home.

“Not going to blend them, hope that’s okay.” You shot Harry a glance as you grabbed an ice cube tray from the freezer. “Don’t wanna leave dishes.”

“’s no problem at all,” he spoke quietly, almost cautiously. You nodded, not measuring as you poured tequila in each cup.

“Lime?” Grabbing a knife from the drawer, cutting a lime into quarters.

“Please,” he nodded, watching as you squeezed the juice into the glasses. You brought one cup to your lips, taking a quick taste of your cocktail. Hearing a breathy chuckle from Harry as you added a splash more tequila, you handed him a cup.

“Cheers,” the corners of your lips perking up to a small smile as you clinked glasses with him. He returned the sentiment, each taking a big sip of your drinks.

“It’s good,” he smirked, tongue darting out to lick the liquor off his lips.

You hummed in agreement, taking another sip of the cocktail. Wordlessly moving past Harry, you opened the fridge next to him and searched around for the fruit you knew sat somewhere in the back.

Fingers gripping the cold ceramic bowl, you shut the door with your hip. “You want some?”

Handful of berries in your own hand, you tilted the bowl in Harry’s direction. He seemed to hesitate again, eyes flicking between your own and the bowl of raspberries pointed at him. “I – yeah, thank you.”

“I love raspberries,” you hummed, placing the bowl between the two of you on the counter before grabbing another handful.

Harry couldn’t help the small smile that pulled on his lips as he watched you enjoyed the red fruit. Just as he was trying to think up something, anything, to say to you, Margot and Aleks crashed through the kitchen.

“There you are!” Margot exclaimed, swinging one arm around you as she grabbed some raspberries herself. “Was looking for you, are you having fun?”

“Yes,” you smiled at your friend, taking another sip of your drink. “Just making some more cocktails.” Passing Margot your cup, offering a sip to which she refused.

Aleks had caught Harry in conversation, neither of them seeing as Margot wordlessly glanced between you and Harry, eyebrows furrowing at you quizzically, as if asking you what was going on. You simply shrugged, mouthing ‘I don’t know’ before you drank more of your margarita.

She nodded, your silent conversation coming to an end.

The four of you soon pulled out of the kitchen, joining the remaining party-goers in the living room. You had had 2 more margaritas, eventually settling into a corner of the couch as you were slowly letting yourself relax, even in the excited atmosphere.

The night progressed as it usually did, a few remaining as late hours of the night rolled in. Aleks had out on some movie he wanted to share with everyone, and at that point you knew if you stayed for any longer you would completely fall asleep.

Jumping up to grab your jacket, hovering on top of Margot from where she sat. “I’m heading out,” you mumbled, arms wrapping her in a hug. “I’ll see you soon! We’ll have that beach day.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay here?”

Shaking your head, you reached for your bag sitting on her floor. “I have work tomorrow pretty early, and I’m already going to be a bit hungover.”

The two of you headed to her front door as she walked you out, as you bid goodnight to the few remaining friends on your way. “You okay to walk home?”

“Yes, of course.” Waving off her concern, although grateful she always checked with you before you leave her house. You were a bit drunker than you’d like to be for the walk home, but it was a fairly short walk.

“Okay well text me when you get home,” she slurred, pulling you in for another hug once you reached the front door.

“Are you leaving?” Aleks, followed by Harry, appeared behind Margot as you broke apart.

Nodding as you bid him goodnight as well, voice being interrupted by your own yawn.

“I can walk with you.”

Harry’s voice pipped up from behind Aleks, head turning to him to see him slipping on his jacket. “I –” about to refuse, but realizing he properly had to walk home as well, “– yeah that’d be good.”

Soon you were both walking side by side in the empty street as it was well into the night, the cool air not too much of a bother after the drinks you’d had.

“Where’s Aiden?” Harry’s voice broke the silence after a good five minutes.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “He left the party a while ago, he usually goes over to his ex’s.” He only nodded, remaining silent for another short moment.

“You don’t have to walk all the way with me,” you suddenly spoke, turning to look at him. “If it’s out of your way.”

He turned to you, light smile on his face. “It’s no problem, really.”

“Where’s your place?”

“Couple blocks past yours. Like an extra fifteen minute walk or so.” Nodding at his words, about to ask how he knew how far away from your place he lived, before remembering he had given you a ride home a couple days ago.

“You don’t have to walk all the way if its easier –”

“It’s no problem at all!” He stressed with a light laugh, interrupting you as he knew what you were going to say. “Plus,” he smirked, “it’ll give me some piece of mind knowing you got home safe.”

Heat building in your cheeks at his words, suddenly unsure of what to say. Your relationship with him thus far had only been practically nonexistent. Choosing not to say anything, a silence fell over the pair of you once more.

“Never showed me any of your work,” Harry suddenly spoke up again.

“What?” Alcohol and exhaust clouding your brain, taking a second to understand what he was talking about.

“Last time, you mentioned you’d show me your work outside of film.”

Right. “Oh yeah,” words were a breath from your lips. “Well, next time. Promise.” You don’t know why you always felt a bit weird when someone asked you to show them what you did. It wasn’t like you shared some publicly, but when someone asked you personally it made you hesitate.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he nodded, as you realized you had made to the end of your street.

Harry still next to you, as you dug through your bag until you held you keys in your hand. Once again hesitating, unsure of why you felt so unsure. “Well,” you coughed, looking up at him. “Thank you.”

“Really no problem,” he hummed, and you realized you didn’t know how to say goodnight to him. Suddenly in your overthinking, you found yourself wrapping your arms around him to pull him in for a hug.

He seemed just as surprised by your action, though quickly softening up to you and wrapped an arm around your back. “Night,” he was warm against you, the feeling of being in his arms had found to be quite comforting in fact.

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat as you pulled away. “Night.”

***

The following weekend, it was a miraculous day where nearly everyone had the day off. Everyone had met at the beach, enjoying a full day in the sun.

“You coming?” Margot’s voice pulled you out of your daydreams, turning over to where she stood above you.

“What?”

“We’re gonna try and play some volleyball. Key word is try.”

Giggling at her words, you shook your head. “No, I’m good for now. Honestly I might end up napping for a bit.”

“We’re just over there if you want to join!” You watched as she headed in the same direction she pointed, a bit down the beach where nets had been set up.

Once alone you reached for your back, immediately realizing you had forgotten to bring your book with you. Maybe a nap really was in the stars.

Already having applied enough sunscreen for the time being, you settled yourself on your back and placed your hat just over your eyes.

The quiet moment didn’t last long, however, as soon someone was standing over you, blocking the sun.

Reaching up to move the hat from your face, your eyes readjusting to the light to see Harry standing over you. “Can I join?”

“Up to you,” you hummed. You could just make out the faintest hints of a smirk at your passive answer. Hearing him readjust the beach towel next to you, as he claimed that spot.

Peeking an eye open, you saw as his head rested in his arms, tilting dangerously close to the exposed skin of your waist. He was resting on his front, facing you as his eyes peered up towards you. “Y’not playing volleyball?”

“Don’t feel like it,” muttering, you readjusted yourself slightly. “Why don’t you go play?”

“Don’t feel like it,” he mirrored.

You only hummed in response, moving your head to face the sky once again. Silence falling between the two of you as you tried to focus on the sound of the waves, and not on Harry laying next to you.

The silence didn’t last long however, as Harry shifted closer to you. “Why’re you ignoring me?”

You nearly snorted at his comment, propping yourself up on your elbow to gaze down at him. “I’m not ignoring you Harry. Just trying to relax.”

He let out a breath, turning his head to rest his cheek on his arm, facing you. You dropped your head back down on your towel, not without feeling his breath tickle your skin.

Your body betrayed you, just as you felt goosebumps rise on your skin.

Harry seemed to notice as well, and soon his breath wasn’t the only thing tickling you. Bringing a finger up to the skin of your tummy, he lightly traced his fingertip over the bumps rising over your abdomen.

Muscles tensing at his sudden touch, you moved your own hand down to your stomach and peeked an eye open to see him. His cheek remained on his forearm, hair falling around him on the towel.

“What are you…” you trailed off, honestly not being bothered by his touch. It was light, fingertips smoothing over your exposed skin.

“Jus’ relaxing, love.” The pet name slipped from between his lips, your body flushing even more at the way he said it so effortlessly.

“This okay?” he spoke again, quieter as you relaxed back onto the towel.

Humming in approval, you willed yourself to seem unbothered. His fingertips moved along your stomach, tracing mindless circles into the skin as his palm rested flat. It was nice, the light tickling and trailing on your skin, he was right to say it was relaxing.

You don’t know how long the two of your rested like that. Not many words were shared, both resting in a peaceful silence. You had slightly dozed off, never fully falling asleep as you were always aware of where Harry’s hand was on you.

At one point he wrapped his hand nearly completely around you, staying like that as he dozed off himself. You realized that he was basically cuddled around you, his head having shifted closer with his forehead resting on the skin over your ribs.

“Skin’s getting warm,” after a moment, you don’t really know how long, Harry’s voice pulled you out of your sleep. Sliding his arm off of you and lifted himself to rest on his elbows. “Y’should put on more sunscreen.”

Rising to a seated position, you crossed your legs as you glanced over at him. All you could do was nod dumbly at Harry’s comment, reaching out for your bag to grab the sunscreen that you had packed.

As you rubbed the sun block down your shins, you watched as Harry turned over to sit up as well and pulled out a couple containers that seemed to be filled with fruit.

“Brought snacks?”

“Just some fruits,” he shrugged, pushing his sunglasses off the bridge of his nose and onto the top of his head.

Just as you were repositioning the hat on your head, and digging through your mess of a tote back for your own sunglasses, you gasped as you felt something cold and wet on your thigh.

Glancing down, you saw a big slice of watermelon sitting on your leg.

“Heard you liked watermelon,” he shrugged again, and you looked at him just as he took and obscenely big bite of his own slice of fruit.

“Love fruits,” you murmured, as you picked the fruit up from where it sat on your leg. You were grateful to be wearing sunglasses now, as you couldn’t seem to take your eyes off of him as he ate his piece of watermelon.

“Y’got,” his voice broke the silence once again, pulling your attention back to him. Eyes wide as you watched his hand reach forward towards you, thumb swiping over your thigh. Collecting the watermelon juice that had trickled down your leg, sticking the digit past his lips.

“Sweet,” he hummed, lips perking into a smirk as he reached for another piece of fruit.

“You’re a pest,” shaking your head, with a giggle in your voice.

Watching as he reached across for his bag again, flashing you a mock pout. “Not very nice of you, love.” Turning away from you for a beat, facing you again with his 35mm.

“Stay still,” he murmured after bringing the camera to his eye, lens pointed towards you.

“Hey!” covering your face with the slice of watermelon in your hand, bringing your other hand down to readjust your bikini top that had slid down a bit.

“Stay still!’ He repeated, swatting his hand in your direction, fingertips brushing over your arm as he wordlessly told you to move it down.

Moving your arm, hovering the half-eaten slice of fruit next to your face, you complied to his request and stayed still while he took a picture of you.

Eyes lingering on you after he placed the camera aside with a smirk still playing at his lips with a gleam in his eyes. “What?” Giggling almost nervously as you shifted under his stare.

Sucking his bottom lip between his teeth, he paused before looking forward towards the water. “Nice day out, is all.”

He didn’t say anything more, leaning back on one arm as he finished off the rest of the fruit in hand. You watched him for another beat, eyes trialing from his face to the muscles that flexed under the skin of his arm.

Not immediately adverting your eyes you squinted a bit as you took in every detail of the tattoos covering his skin. You couldn’t help but wonder about them, so many for someone still reasonably young.

Just as you wondered if he had any particular reason for all of them, warm hands landed on your shoulder and a new body hovered over you.

“Hey,” a breathless Aiden reached over you to pluck a slice of watermelon from where they sat. “As it turns out, I do not like volleyball. Want to come to the water with me? I need a little cool off.”

Harry’s gaze met yours again for less than a second, before glancing up at where Aiden sat kneeling behind you. “I’m good, I can stay back and watch our stuff.”

Being pulled up to your feet, you left your hat and sunglasses in a pile on your towel before sauntering off with Aiden in the direction of where the water hit the land. Shooting another brief look behind you to see Harry’s eyes on you again. Sending a smile his way as you tugged up the thin straps of your bottoms that rested at your hips, just as Aiden pulled at your wrist as he skipped towards the water.

“Feels nice,” Aiden hummed, once both of you were ankle deep in the cold water. The sun was shinning hot today, only a barely there breeze present to cool you down. Aiden was right, soaking in the water doing wonders for your bodily temperature.

Taking the plunge, literally, as the two of you submerging yourselves under water as you played around. Once the water was leaving goosebumps on your skin you guys wandered around the shore, picking up odd rocks as if you were birds looking for something flashy.

“He’s always staring at you,” Aiden bumped his arm with yours, nodding his head towards where the group sat after abandoning the volleyball game.

“Who?”

“Harry,” mindlessly looking up from the rocks by your feet, squinting in the sun. “You guys seem much more amicable.”

“Yeah,” nodding as you thought over his words. “Working with him has been good lately. He’s like, kind of intense, but in a hot way y’know?”

Aiden laughed at your description. “I think he’s into you. Probably has been into you this entire time.”

Scoffing at his words, you glanced at your friend. “I don’t know about that.” Your words were a lie, having thought about the possibility a couple times but you didn’t want to overthink it.

“Don’t be dense.” Aiden laughed, suddenly bending over to pick up a rock and holding it in front you. “Here, this one reminds me of Margot.”

***

No one was in the dark room when you got there, working alone as you worked though a roll for a customer. Moving your paper into the developer, you nearly forgot about them as pictures drying off caught your attention.

They were obviously Harry’s and not one of a client, as you recognized nearly everyone photographed. Your gaze moved over every image, quickly moving your own roll over to the stop bath, before looking back at Harry’s pictures.

There were a few from that day at the beach, times when you hadn’t even realized Harry had the camera pointed at anyone. You saw yourself in some of them, laughing away with Margot as the sun set behind the pair of you, distant shots of you and Aiden sticking out of the water.

They were beautifully candid, the evidence of Harry’s visual eye very clear in all the images.

The picture of you with the watermelon he had snapped was probably one of the best pictures someone had taken of you in years. You looked relaxed, small smile playing at your lips as you looked down at the lens, the sun glowing on half of your face.

Small gasp at the sound of the door opening behind you, spinning around to barely make out Harry’s frame. “Scared me,” you murmured, letting out a sigh as you moved back to your solvents and moved your paper to the fixing solvent.

“Didn’t realize anyone was here,” his voice carried through the room as he walked in, standing by where you just admiring his work.

“Thought I’d get a start on those,” you hummed, pointed to where you still had film to expose. “Those are really great,” you saw his head turn to you as you complimented his work he had just started gathering up. “Didn’t realize you’d been taking so many pictures.”

“Thanks,” just making out the shine in his eyes, he flipped through them before shuffling over to you. “Did you see this one?”

Squinting, you saw him holding up the image of you with the watermelon. “I did. Really like it.”

“It’s my favourite,” Harry nodded, glancing down at it.

You were happy to be standing in a literal dark room, as you felt a flush rise up your neck. It was a compliment to his photography skills really, but it was also a compliment to you. A silence overtook the room, and you suddenly felt so incredibly nervous for very little reason.

“Why did you hate me?”

What the hell was that. Blurting things out wasn’t really your style as you were fairly good at keeping a tight filter on the words that left your mouth, except maybe after a couple drinks. But in this moment, for some reason, you truly needed to know why Harry had seemed to resent you so much when you first met.

His head turned back to yours in a quick motion, nearly unable to see it in the dim amber light. His mouth opened, as if to speak, but no words came out.

“I mean –” you sighed, glancing away from him as embarrassment trickled through your skin. “You just seemed not very… fond of me.”

“I never hated you,” his words were laced with a sigh, shoulders dropping a bit as he turned his body to face yours. His face glowed the soft orange from the room that surrounded you. “You should move your papers out of the fix bath.”

“What?” You blinked as if broken out of a daze.

“The fix bath, it’s been a couple minutes.”

“Fuck,” muttering as you spun around, grabbing your abandoned tongs and moved the paper into the water for its wash. Watching your image float around for a second, prodding it gently with the tongs.

“I never hated you,” Harry repeated from next to you, making you turn to him once again as you dropped the tongs on the counter. “I was just – I guess I was intimidated? Not really the right word but,”

He trailed off, showing no sign of continuing as you couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your mouth. “Why?”

The beginnings of a smile grew on his lips at your lighter tone. “I guess… I don’t know. Saw you around campus a lot, I guess I froze up.”

“Froze up?” Questioning him again and not fully understanding his explanation.

“I mean,” he paused again, averting his gaze as he fiddled with a ring around his finger, “yeah something like that.”

You could only nod, still not fully understanding what he was trying to communicate.

“Plus,” he added, seemingly to recover form his uncertain composure with a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. “Like getting a rise out of you.”

“Clearly,” you laughed, matching his smile. “Seem to be pretty good at it, too.”

He didn’t say anything, letting your words hang around the two of you for a bit too long. He wasn’t avoiding your eyes anymore, and you were once again grateful for being in a dark room so he couldn’t see the warmth that spread over your skin.

“Well,” you finally spoke again, voice suddenly quiet. “I have more film to get to.”

“Right,” Harry nodded as he stepped away from you, grabbing his images he had left on the counter. “I should go. I’ll see you soon.”

Watching as he gathered everything he had come for, bidding his goodbye to you and reaching for the doorknob.

“See you, Harry.”

***

“Did you do a test strip for these?”

“Yeah,” you called over your shoulder, moving your images into their third and final solvent.

“And they turned out well?” His voice grew louder, causing you to spin around to face him. “Because the setting on the enlarger is really not what it should be.”

“Harry –”

“They’re not gonna come out, you’re going to have to redo them. How many have you done like this now?” Even under the barely there light you could make out the hard expression on his face.

“I know what I’m doing. I did a bunch of trials with my own film and paper that are ready right over there.”

Letting out an irritated breath as you turned around, gripping a corner of the photo that was currently floating in its bath.

“Look,” you held up the wet photo paper with the tongs. Harry took a step closer, eyes narrowing on the image you held up. “They’re exactly what they should be.”

He was silent for a bit, you could hear his agitated exhales puff out next you. Leaning in to the image, you heard a small ‘fuck’ leave his lips.

“Don’t let this go to your head,” he muttered eyes flicking between yours and the image.

“Already has. Harry we’ve been through this. You need to trust me, I know what I’m doing.” Narrowing your eyes at him slightly, as is if challenging him.

“You can’t just go around changing everything, there’s a process.”

“Yeah and I followed it. And they turned out really well, so don’t give me shit.”

He took a pause, eyeing you down. Pushing hair off his forehead, he placed his hand on the counter next to you. “You’re unbelievable.”

You didn’t know if he meant it in a good way or bad way.

His eyes on you were as intent as ever, burning right through your own; his face an unreadable as ever.

“Fuckin’ unbelievable.”

Lips pressed to yours in a fast kiss. Both the shock of the action and his body knocking yours as his hand came to cup your face caused you to step back, hitting the edge of the counter.

As quickly as it happened it was over, your eyes remaining wide open on him. His gaze was dropped down to the small space between the two of you, breath leaving his lips in small puffs.

“I – fuck – that’s not how I wanted that to happen,” his eyes lifted to yours, hand still holding the side of your face as his thumb stroked your cheek.

The feeling of his lips lingered on yours. “I couldn’t help myself,” his voice dropped, eyes glazing over your lips again.

Tongue quickly licking your lips, tentatively you lifted your own hands up, trailing your fingertips lightly over the fabric of his shirt, gripping the neckline. “You wanted to kiss me?”

His shoulders dropped slightly, smile pulled at his lips, as he visibly swallowed before speaking. “I – always.”

His words sent a rush through your body, wanting to feel him on you again. “Want to again?”

Harry didn’t waste a second, hand sliding to the back of your head. His other hand lifted to the small of your back, pushing your body closer to his. His kiss was a bit more tentative, pulling you gently against him.

Growing in confidence as you tugged on the fabric of his shirt, his mouth sliding open over yours and he pulled you in for more. Lips slotting open on yours as he pulled you in for more, and more.

A sigh being pulled from the back of your throat catches in his mouth as his fingers gripped tightly into the loose fabric of your dress. Your own hand wrapping around his shoulders, moving to pull at the hair that hung at the nape of his neck.

Greedily licking into your mouth as if he would die without the taste of you. Back arching as you pushed yourself against him, hips knocking with his.

Lips parting away with a ‘Christ’ grunted from Harry, uneven breaths swirling together. Dark eyes burning into your own, you felt a hand drop from your hip down your thigh, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your dress.

His lips met the skin of your jaw, hand on the back of your head tugging at your hair to tilt your head back, exposing your neck to him. His lips dipped down, a trail of wet kisses along your skin, teeth nipping at the skin that elicited a pitched gasp to leave your parted lips.

His body kept yours pinned against the counter, fingertips tickling the bare skin on your thigh as your own weaved through his hair. Your name tumbling from his lips as you pushed your hips against his. “What’re you doing to me, love.”

Fingertips easing down his shirt covered chest, pushing at him the slightest bit until his lips broke away from your skin. “We should,” your voice was so nearly breathless, “finish up here.”

Hand moving from his shoulder as you weakly motioned to the room around you, remembering you were both technically on the clock. “Yeah,” Harry blew out a sigh, his forehead resting on your shoulder momentarily. “We should.”

Taking a small step away from you as his eyes landed on your, hands moving to brush over your bare arms until his fingertips fiddled with yours. “You’re done working for the day, right?”

“I could be.”

Lips kinked into a smirk. “Do you,” Harry paused, interlocking your fingers as his hands continued to fidget with your own. “Come home with me? Promise just for dinner, a drink, whatever you want.”

Biting back a smile, you thought over his words. “Plus,” he added. “Got a killer view of the sunset.”

You couldn’t help the grin that broke out on your face. “Won me over.”

The two of you finished off cleaning up the room quickly, properly emptying out baths of solvent, putting away all photopaper and making sure everything was turned off.

The front of the shop had already been seen to, only needing to punch in the code and lock the door before you were walking over to where Harry had parked down the street.

His arm had bumped yours as you left the shop, just before his fingers brushed over your hand to grab hold of it.

Once seated in the passenger seat of his car, he passed you his phone letting you have free reign over the music. The drive was quick, you were soon walking up steps in an apartment building you had passed countless times.

“Do you have a roommate?” Realizing he had never seemed to mention anything about his living situation.

“No,” Harry unlocked his door as you followed close behind. “Kind of lucky I guess, I was able to find this place.”

Nodding, very familiar with the joys of having the house to yourself. Following Harry as he kicked off his shoes, walking through his studio. You loved seeing inside people’s places, how they arranged their things, what they had lying around. It was also nice to see that the place had actually feel to it, seeming like he didn’t just have a mattress on the floor.

Standing in his kitchen, you watched as he placed his things on the counter by the door. Curiously glancing at the space around you, loving to snoop on the banality of the way other people lived.

“So, where’s this killer view?” Being on the fourth flour of the building, you didn’t doubt the view was nice, not having that luxury at your own place.

“Patience, darling.” He grinned at you from across the kitchen. “First, you want anything to drink? I’ve got water, tea…” he trailed off, brows furrowing as he seemed to have run out of things to offer you.

“Tea’s good,” you laughed, watching as he nodded and grabbed his kettle to fill with water. “Where’s your washroom?”

“Just around the corner,” he pointed, as you headed in that direction. Taking extra time to observe his things in the washroom, forever curious about how other people lived and taking it as a good sign seeing his washroom clean and fairly organized.

You were soon sitting on a on a little bench that he had out on a tiny balcony, tea in hand as you sat side by side. He was right, the sun was just setting and it lit up the sky with an orange glow.

As per Harry’s request, you had finally shown him some pictures of your art off your phone. You had blushed under his compliments, leaving your phone by your side as conversation died between the two of you and you both enjoyed the view. His arm wrapped around you, pulling you to rest against his chest.

It wasn’t long until Harry’s lips were on your skin once again. Starting with small kisses on you’re your shoulder, his head dipping down behind you. Innocent at first, you didn’t move in your position. Craning his head until his mouth met your neck, tongue darting out between parted lips.

You didn’t move until his teeth nipped the skin, eliciting a jolt from you in shock. Moving his head from the crook of your neck, hand coming up to your cheek, single finger pushing your head around to face him.

His mouth met yours, hesitant at first as he let you adjust yourself slightly so you wouldn’t have your neck twisted. His arm around you pulled you in closer, as your brought one leg up on the bench next to you so that you could press your chest against his.

Your own hands came up around his neck as your mouth opened with his, kissing him deeper and deeper while the sun set behind you. He held you tightly against him as if you’d slip away from him if he didn’t, as he selfishly pulled unrelenting kisses from you.

Moving his hand from your cheek to your waist, fingertips trailing over your dress until they were on your bare thigh, palm smoothing over your skin. Shivering at his touch, you shifted yourself even closer to him as you accepted the warmth coming off of him, as if he was replacing the setting sun.

Lips parting with a pant, heavy eyes darting from his swollen lips, his tousled hair to meet his own dazed gaze. Watching his eyes drop to the small space between you, to the fabric of the dress that he was fiddling with in one hand.

“Always wearing these little dresses,” he muttered, eyes narrowing on where the fabric rode up to expose more of your leg. His hand on your thigh pushing under the skirt, fingertips gripping tightly on your skin.

Lips nearing your ear, nipping at the spot under the lobe. “Always teasing me.”

Feeble whimper at his words, as he payed close attention to your neck, memorizing which spots made your gasp against him and retaining the subtle hint of your perfume to memory.

All while his hand smoothed over the outside of your thigh, pushing your dress up as he went over your hip. Fingers spreading over the extent of your hips, lightly pinching the skin of your ass. You felt them move over the band of your underwear, toying with the thin material.

“Let me,” he muttered against your skin, voice nearly incoherent. “Le’ me – can I? Please.”

“Yes,” the word was a whine, quick and rushed from your mouth. And his hand dipped down over your underwear and between your thighs. You jolt against him, fingers easily finding and pressing over your clothed clit.

“Fuck me, you’re wet.” His hand palmed over your center, pressing against you in a way that made you press your lips tightly together, head dipping down to the crook of his neck.

A single finger pushed your underwear aside, pushing through your folds. “Soaked through,” humming appreciatively, circling around your wetness.

A whimper against him had him wanting to hear more, other hand moving around your hips as you ground down over his hand.

Suddenly pulling his hand away, you lifted your head up to gaze up at him. Mouth gaping open as you wanted to whine, not a single sound coming out when you watched him slip his fingers past his lips, humming around them tasting you.

“Sweet,” he muttered, wet hand gripping your thigh once again as he trapped your lips in for a kiss. “Hop on my thigh,” he spoke into your mouth, posing it as a question but it was more of a demand.

“Wha’?”

He moved a hand to his own jean covered leg, patting it twice. “Wan’ you to get off on m’thigh.”

Blinking at his words, you found yourself nodding and readjusted with both legs now on the bench, a leg on either side of his thigh. You’d never gotten off this way before, especially not sitting outside on a balcony while the world quieted around you.

“Tha’s it, finally listening to me,” he hummed, hands reaching under your dress to grip your hips firmly. Your own hands wrapped around his neck, gripping onto his hair.

Pressing your heat onto his leg, grinding and rolling onto him. Gasping as you moved back and forth over him, fingers tight in his hair and chest every so often pressing into his. He kept encouraging you, watching every movement and motion you were making on top of him.

“Is it good?” He mumbled, lips sucking between his teeth as he kept his eyes narrowed on the way your hips moved on top of him.

“Yes,” you sighed, finding that sweet spot that sent sparks trough your legs. “’M gonna get your thigh all wet.”

“Good,” fingertips digging into your skin, “want you to.”

Lips stuck between your teeth as you tried to stay quiet, small whimpers building through your throat while he aided you on top of him. “Go a bit’ rougher love, that’s it.”

Grinding tightly on top of him, rough fabric pulling at you in ways you thought it couldn’t. He dipped back down to your neck, biting and sucking at the sensitive skin as he whispered hot words of encouragements.

Winding yourself up as you got off, shivering as he moaned your name into your skin and begged you to cum. Messily rolling your hips as he sucked hotly on a particular spot under your jaw, tension in your stomach building and building until you couldn’t keep your lips tight together anymore.

“Cum f’me, wan’ you to,” Harry grunted into the air when he pulled away from you, eyes focused on the way your eyes shut and teeth pulled at your lip.

“Look so pretty right now, with the sky glowing behind you – fuck, wish I had my camera.”

A string of nearly incomprehensible words urging you on, wanting nothing more than to see you come undone on top of him.

“Harry! Feels so good I’m –”

His mouth met yours as you chased your high, hot open mouth catching your whines in a messy kiss. “Go on,” he spurred, “gimme a good one.”

Tugging at his hair tightly as you found your orgasm, thighs squeezing his as your mouth dropped open. Shuddering against him as your limbs numbed at the intensity, pushing your chest on his with a sharp arch in your back.

You hang off him as your try to even your breathing, his lips finding the top of your head with a series of chaste kisses. “Did so good,” he praises.

Lifting your head after a moment, kissing a line from his cheek to his mouth. Shakily moving a leg to the wooden floor, lifting yourself off of Harry and onto your feet. “You got a bed?”

“Fuckin’ – follow me.” Harry scrambled up behind you, shutting the glass doors that led to the balcony to keep out the flying bugs and the cool night air. He led you through the studio, watching with heavy eyelids as you undid the small buttons that went from the top to the bottom on the front of your dress.

Kneeling on the mattress in front of him, you watched as he tugged his shirt over his head, standing at the foot of the bed in front of you. Immediately reaching a hand to his bare chest, fingertips lightly trancing over the tattoos on his skin until they reached the band of his jeans.

He visibly swallowed as you narrowed your eyes on your fingers, tugging his belt loose and reaching for the zipper.

“Darling,” his voice was clipped, watching your every move. Pulling his jeans past his hips along with his briefs, head tilting further down as your hand wrapped around his length.

He was hard, seemingly painfully so. Especially after your lips pressed to his skin with wandering hands, and especially after you got off on him with his name falling from your lips. Your grasp light, thumb moving over his tip to collect the drops of precum between your fingers, smoothing your palm around him. Inhaling sharply through his teeth, with a tight lipped ‘fuck’ being muttered under his breath.

“’s pretty,” you silently wondered how far back he’d reach in your mouth.

He leaned into your touch, teeth worrying over his bottom lip with a quick exhale. “I – I’m already worked up,” his voice was deep, pulling your attention to his face.

He slowly blinked, shaky breath as you let go of your grasp around his cock. His own hands came down sliding around your back, helping you out of your flimsy bralette. “Let’s get you out of this.”

Eyes falling over your newly exposed skin, as you shifted further back on the bed. He came down on top of you in a blink of an eye, tongue licking into your mouth deeply as you eased you down under him.

His hands were everywhere, cradling your head, massaging your breasts, digging into to your thigh. You accepted him on top of you, feeling his length laying heavy on your thigh as he rutted against you. Lips moving down, seemingly also wanting to lick and suck on every inch of your skin.

“How do you want to –” you didn’t finish your sentence, as Harry’s fingers tugged down your thin underwear, last piece of clothing tossed aside.

“Could have you any way love,” he quickly spoke, propping himself up on an arm to lift himself a bit. “Want you under me though. Want you close.”

Whining at his words, wordlessly begging him to hurry. He suddenly leaned over you, arm reaching aside as he dug through the drawer next to the bed. In a moment he was up on his knees, rolling a condom down his length, and the next he was back on top of you.

“Want you deep,” moaning into his mouth as you felt his cock rest heavy against your thigh, legs spreading as you hooked a leg around his waist.

Shifting his hips, he rubbed himself through your folds, collecting your wetness on his cock. Lips parting as he pushed himself in with a grunt, slowly easing his way in with a pressured stretch.

“Bleedin’ – y’feel amazing,” his voice was quick, eyes squeezed shut as you wrapped around him. “Good?”

“Yes,” you whined, pushing your hips up to meet his. “S’full.”

One hand wrapping under your knee to pull your leg up higher, lips pressed in quick kisses from the corner of your mouth down to your jaw. He slowly moved his hips, pushing deeply into you. Your own hands were tight around him, palms digging into the skin of his back.

He continued with languid thrusts, slow but tough. “S’ this good? You want more?”

“Please,” you whimpered, back arching and head pushing into the pillows as you ached for more. Your hands were wound in his hair, fingertips scratching into his scalp.

“Who would’ve thought,” a smirk lined his lips, though his voice was strained as he started a slow pace thrusting into you. “Suddenly listening to every word I say.”

“Fuck,” you couldn’t conjure up any kind of remark, as he finally pushed into you with force, one hand gripping tightly onto your hip, his fingertips sure to leave marks on your skin.

He was everywhere: his lips on your shoulder, hand flat around your hip, and he was deep.

Keeping a somewhat steady pace, lifting himself slightly over you when he dipped his head down and watched where the two of you connected. “S’pretty cunt,” he moaned, head hovering over yours before his lips slotted over yours in a sloppy kiss.

He pressed inside of you in every right way, the feeling of your second orgasm of the night already building. Tugging at his skin with one hand as you pushed yourself against him, other hand reaching to grip his hand that was currently massaging your chest.

Pulling his hand up, his pace faltered a bit as you pushed his thumb into your mouth. Lips enclosing around it, tongue licking and sucking on the digit. He watched you, eyes narrowed on your mouth.

Releasing it with a breath, his eyes flicked between his hand and your face. Understanding your intention, arm quickly snaking in the space between the two of you until his thumb was on your clit.

“Harry,” you shuddered under him, the sensation in the put of your stomach built. Clenching around him, his lips moved to your neck again with a grunt. “Love m’name on your lips.”

Shifting your hips again, widening your legs around him as you felt him even deeper. The overwhelming sensation of Harry filling all of your senses. “Can’t – please tell me your close, darling.”

“So close,” whimpering under him, “please.” You don’t know what you were begging for, you just needed something, anything.

Fingers gripping you tight as his thumb pressed onto your clit, thrusts getting sloppier but hitting just right inside of you. You had your own hands weaved around his neck, nails digging into his skin as you pushed you head back into the pillow.

“Harry,” you reached you peak, thighs squeezing him tight and chest pushing into his as your back arched. “Tha’s it,” he moaned your name against your skin, easing you through your orgasm. Grip on him tight as you bit your lip so hard you were sure it could bleed, you writhed under his grasp as the high died down.

“I can’t – so good,” his voice was nearly incomprehensible, lips muffled and words nonsensical. Clenching around him, he couldn’t hold back anymore after the way you came around him. He gripped you tightly with a couple final thrusts, calling your name and for god as he came into the condom.

“You’re unbelievable,” he muttered, remaining pressed on top of you as he tried to regain his breath. Your hand moving through his hair, pushing it off his forehead as he kissed you once more before lifting himself off of you.

You stayed still, already feeling a colder without his body heat over top of you. Rolling your head to face with him with a grin, he returned the smile before quickly rising to a seated position on the mattress.

Getting up and going to discard of the condom, he suddenly disappeared from your view completely. “Where –”

Before you could ask, he reappeared with his 35mm in hand, coming over to kneel above you. “Stay still,” he mumbled as you moved to prop yourself up on your elbow, taking a moment to process what he was doing. “’S just your face I promise.”

Nodding with a breathless laugh, pushing one hand over your hair knowing that you surely didn’t look your best.

“Told you to stay still,” he hummed, as you gazed up at him. Inched the lens closer to you, hearing the click of the film a second later as he took a picture.

“Bet I look completely fucked out.”

“You do look completely fucked out.” He laughed, placing his camera next to you as he moved back to sit on the bed.

“Almost done with this roll, want to get this developed as soon as possible.”

#i ... don't know how i feel about this ... feels weird ? i dont know #feels rushed #but i hope everyone enjoys and let me know what u think !#rb / like / send it to ur neighbour #!!!!!#harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #utal

1K notes · View notes

odysseys-blood · 2 years ago

Text

Ask tag game!

I HAVENT SEEN ONE OF THESE IN FOREVERRR. Was tagged by one of my favoritest people ever @tilapiamafia mwah

Last…

Beverage:

I dink my oiter! woke up stuffy from the fan being on all night

Phone call:

Could not tell u i ignore like 90% of the calls i get. I think my dad called me abt smthn they did or didnt have in the store.

Text message:

I sent my dad this picture

Song you listened to:

Roll Over Bethoveeeen by Ryoma Maeda (this is the only song of his i know. its in a playlist with clipping., death grips, lil mariko and more. this is my Sounds playlist titled :) ]

Time you cried:

honestly could not tell you. i need to cry more but alas

Have you ever…

Dated someone twice:

Not even once 😔

Kissed someone and regretted it:

nope. would like to kiss someone tho (if you could not twll i have not done Shit. the world is my oyster still)

Lost someone special:

also not in a death way but most definitely lol. we keep it pushing tho it is what it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Been depressed:

Am. Im making it tho

Been drunk and threw up:

Never been drunk! or drank at all rather im not super interested. folks might try to get me smthn for my 21st but i still dont really care. most ppl talk abt alcohol tasting like pure chemical and i wont drink smthn if it doesnt taste good i have standards

Last year, have you…

Made a new friend:

Yeah! had the startling realization that the panny means one of my friends had seen my face for the first time ever bc we just met the past year (she said i had nice lips tho)

Fallen out of love:

yeah it happens. gotta stomp it out by force tho esp if the person wasnt good for me

Laughed until you cried:

all the time! i love a good laugh there is nothing more that i enjoy than to cackle, a hee hee hoo hoo, a tee hee, a giggle

Found out who your true friends are:

do you know how many fake ppl there are out here.

Found out someone was talking about you:

see above. i have "friends" who will talk shit abt me to my face. (yeah im bad at leaving shitty relationships when its all i got for mental health during semester sessions)

General

How many people on your fb friends list do you know in real life?:

i do not have facebook. likely never will. i barely have an insta

List 3 favorite colors:

not a color but my favorite color scheme is analogous (from blue to red) and i call these the blood colors bc it reminds me of textbook circulatory system diagrams. if i do have to pick 3 tho then wine purple, teal, and red (or pink. theyre the same color.) (this is basically again just blue to red.)

Firsts

First surgery:

never had any surgeries so im gonna say being a c section baby

First piercing:

My ears got pierced when i was a baby! my brother is trying to convince my mom to get his ears pierced tho (she agreed to one ear only) so whenever he goes im probably gonna get more. someone suggest some bc besides a couple more lobe piercings bc idk for sure what i want. I used to want lip and nose piercings but i think i can manage with just faux piercing rings for now

First best friend:

a military brat i dont talk to anymore. i will say one friend i still hold dear now i met before her, early in elementary, but we didnt really talk as much til middle school when we met again. i adore her sm she texted me the other day crying bc frosting colors are harder to mix than paint. shes doing her best baking and i believe in her

First sport you joined:

none. did do orchestra in hs tho! id love to play violin now but those hoes are expensive

First vacation:

probably just to the beach. never really had a chance to vacation in my life

First pair of trainers:

....you want me to remember the first sneakers i ever got????

Right now

Eating:

last thing i had was some strawberry cream pie it was real good :]

Drinking:

nothing i should get on that tho bc im thirsty

I’m about to:

https://youtube.com/shorts/KcKbwOFLibo?feature=share real answer is im goin outside. i want to draw some tho so idk the world is my oyster yet again

Your future

Want kids:

probably not im good enough being an auncle. i love my nephews the littlest guys ever

Get married:

i think so! i think id be content without one tho. if i do idk if id want a big wedding either or even a reception

Career:

i wanna be a character designer and i am going to believe i make it bc i have no other skills. (i know autocad but god i dont want to be doing autocad)

Which is better

Lips or eyes:

both

Hugs or kisses:

i dont like being touched too much but hugs

Shorter or taller:

just somebody. lord.

Older or younger:

dont really care as long as its not a weird gap but probably a lill bit older

Romantic or spontaneous:

also no idea what that means. idk ig romantic? i like to know ehats going on so spontaneousness can get on my nerves sometimes

Nice stomach or nice arms:

i appreciate both. i need my partner to appreciate a nice tummy tho bc i def have one

Sensitive or loud:

sensitive bc i dont like loud volumes ever lol

Hook-up or relationship:

Relationship i dont think i can do a hook up. i need to know someone before i try to do anything

Trouble maker or hesitant:

either way is fine. im v hesitant tho maybe i need a trouble maker

Have you ever…

Kissed a stranger:

naur

Drank hard liquor:

nope!

Lost glasses/contacts:

every fucking day in this goddamn hell hole. they fell when i got in bed i have no idea where they are.

Sex on first date:

nah i need to build trust

Broke someone’s heart:

idk. probs not but if i did oopsie daisy (◕_◕)

Been arrested:

nope!

Turned someone down:

yeah

Cried when someone died:

probably but i dont cry as often as i should so

Do you believe in…

Yourself:

i try to! bc who else is gonna do it if i dont first

Miracles:

no but if they happen then nice

Love at first sight:

no. a crush is not a love

Heaven:

not really but itd be nice to think about. dont think they'd let me in id be primed for like purgatory tho

Santa Claus:

https://youtu.be/4l5B5vlNN6w

Kiss on the first date:

yall can i probably never would

Angels:

would be cool could exist might not either way i have no control over it. i think some of my friends are angels tho (like the one battling with frosting colors)

i can feel that this ask list is probably from like 2015 lol. idk who else to tag but if you want to do it go ahead and tag me! @meicheesecake u have to tho.

#cliffnotes/.txt #i did all this at 5 am and just posted now bc i didnt want to format it at 5 am

2 notes · View notes

icecreamkink · 4 years ago

Text

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD.

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo, lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass, shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is, the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’, “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it.

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out!

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha.

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying*

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE, and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof

and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. )

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :(((((((((

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf

wwx: fucking w demonic energy jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch??

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no.

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go.

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. . . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg . spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . .

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like ? ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also so thrilling (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say)

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris.

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng. being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance.

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all??? amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD.

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future

one of the ?? things i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE.

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???”

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn.

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding.

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever

BAT WEN NING

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock”

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face.

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself!

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe.

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities. *longest oh boi ever*

#m.#ANYWAY #ENOUGH TALKING #THIS IS SO LONG #LOL #but whatever this is MY performative journaling i do what i want #rambling impressions abt what i watch is a thing i do now? apparently??#cql #untamed #the untamed #fun fact that chat is named 'k keeps on babbling abt the untamed' and it STILL wasnt enough #also it took me 15 episodes to realize lwj was yibo #IT WAS V SHOCKING #i did not recognize him at a l l #but in retrospect he WAS the perfect choice

52 notes · View notes

zmayadw · 4 years ago

Text

Evening to all :)

Time for the next part :)

Have a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 10

I woke up with a terrible taste in my mouth. I had no clue what time was it, but the sun was out already, making me squint my eyes. I got in sitting position slowly, banging in my head intensifing with every move i made. Ugh, i'm never drinking again, i scolded myself. Squinting, I focused on the little alarm clock that was on the night stand. 10.34. Whoa, i cant remember the last time i slept this long. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. I filled the glass with wather, rinsing my mouth a few times before gulping down two glasses. My stomach growled at it, i just hoped not to throw up .Taking a shower would be a wise thing to do, so i just threw the clothes i had off and entered the shower. The warm water felt good, i just let it pour over me for a while. I wrapped myself in the towel taking some painkillers for the headache. Getting back to the room, i dressed up, and sat on the bed. I felt a bit better, but still not enough. Coffee, i tought, thats what i need now. I got up, going for the purse i threw on the floor when i got in, searching for my phone. Shit, i cursed, it wsnt there. I checked every pocket, even Jake's hoodie, but my phone was nowhere to be found. Crap, i probably left it at a the Aurora last night, when Jessy and me wer taking pictures. Or at lest i hoped so. Well, i was going for coffee, so i could stop at the Aurora eitherway. I grabbed my backpack with drawing stuff. Who knows, i might be up for some drawing, no matter I still felt woozy from last night drinking. I putted my sneakers on, grabed my stuff and car keys. Walking wasnt an option this time, i wasnt feeling well enough for it.

When i parked my car infront of the Aurora, I saw Dan's car was still there. I smiled as i left the car, guess i wasnt the only one sleeping late today. I hoped Phil was there already, and my phone too. I entered the Aurora, relieved at the sight of Phil behind the bar. I was washed with the smell of coffee, and as i neared the bar, I pleadingly said to him, sitting on the stool „Please, please, please, tell me i'm not wrong and that is coffee i can smell.“ Phil turned arround , not noticing me when i entered. He grinned at me „You are most definitly right! Would you like some?“ „Yes, pretty please.“ I said, as i putted my hand on the bar, and leaned my head on it as on a pillow. Phil chuckled at me „Want any sugar with it? Or milk?“ „Yes, please.“ I replied, and he vanished through the storage doors. He returned with a big cup of coffe putting it infront of me. I rised my head, took the cup, taking a deep breath of its smell, before taking a big sip of it. „Thanks, Phill, you're my saviour:“ i smiled at him as i settled it back on the bar. „Here to help.“ He said, winking. „Rough night?“ he asked teasingly. „Oh, i dont know how you can be so cheerful.“ I started „I feel like a truck hit me lastnight.“ He laughed „Practice to perfection.“ „I think i would need years of practice to be even close to that kind of perfection!“ i said, making a skeptical face. He smiled at me „So, to what do i owe the pleasure?“ he asked. „Dont get me wrong, im glad to see you“ he said, that devilish spark in his eyes again „But i doubt you came just to see me.“ „You caught me.“ I said, even tho it was nice seeing him. „I was hoping that i might have left my phone here yesterday.“ He shook his head at me, crouching down searchin for a few seconds under the bar, giving me my phone as he got up. „Better be carefull next time, good thing i noticed it as you left.“ „Yay, thanks Phil, again.“ I told him, giving him a big smile. „I owe you big time! Both for the phone, and coffee.“ His phone rang then „Sorry business calling. Be right back“ he said, answering his phone and going through the storage door. I checked my phone with him gone, finding out few missed calls and messages from Jessy. She was worried i havent answered her jet, so i decided to call her while waiting for Phil. The tone barely sugested it rang when Jessy's voice boomed from the other side. „Finaly! Do you know how worried i have been? Are you allright? Where wer you? Why didnt you answer me before?“ It made me smile a bit, her worrying for me like that was so sweet. „Im sooooo sorry Jessy“ i said pleadingly „I left my phone at Aurora last night, i just got here to get it.“ Phil returned at that point, and i mouthed to him 'Jessy's' name, indicating who i was talking to. Her voice boomed again, and i moved my phone a bit from my ear, wich made Phil laugh. „Ofcourse you did! Its no wonder after all the whiskey you had! Dan is still sleeping like a log! You two really had it last night!“ „Aww, Dont be cross, Jessy.“ I started pleadingly again „I promise next time we wont over do it.“ Phil was grining at me now, and i stuck my toung at him, trying to calm Jessy down. „C'mon, you cant tell me you didnt have some fun yesterday.“ I started „I have some pictures on my phone as a proof of it.“ Phil threw his thumb up, showing me i said a good thing, and i grined at him. „Alright, i admit last night wasnt all that bad.“ Jessy started, sounding calmer now „But you're still not off the hook completly.“ „Thanks, Jessy“ i started, grining as a sign of victory to Phil. „You can scold me some more at lunch, if the deal for it still stands.“ „Ofcourse!“ Jessy cined cheerfuly from the other side „Dan will be a sleep for God knows how long, and im already bored here.“ I quickly moved my phone from the ear checking the time. „Its 12.20 now, when do you want us to meet?“. „I'll meet you around 14 at the Aurora. I doubt Phil will mind you hanging there with him till then.“ She replied, teasing me. „Somehow i think you're right.“ I said, looking at Phil with a devilysh smile. „Cya later, Jessy.“ I sadi, lovering my phone. Phil looked at me,a bit confused „Wat was that about?“ „Oh, just Jessy being Jessy.“ I told him, grining. „Fine, fine, be all mysterious.“ He teased me. „Awww, c'mon, you wouldnt find me so interesting if i was an open book.“ I told him, smiling sheepeshly. He looked at me, with that intensifing look again, making me feel heat spreading through my body „You're not wrong about that.“ Crap, what are you doing again, Maya, i scolded myself. Phil was definatly into me, and i was toying with him like this. It really wasnt my intention, i didnt want him to get the wrong impression about anything. But it felt so easy for me, talking to Phil, compared to Jake. Why does all have to be so tough and complicated with him? It feels like walking on egg shells every time im with him: dont do this, dont say that. Shit, it shouldnt be that way, should it? Was i really that much into Jake? Blah, i dont know anything anymore. I wish he would be more open with me, it would make things so much easier. I was lost in my toughts when Phil finaly snaped me back to reality „Maya? You allright?“ I looked at him, shaking my head, to clear it from all the 'Jake' toughts. „Yeah, sorry.“ I started „Guess the coffee didnt kick in properly yet.“ Phil looked at me, and i could see he didnt really belive what i told him, but decided not to take the matter any further „If you say so.“ Was all he said. I smiled shyly at him. „Do you mind if i just hang here for an hour or so, before metting with Jessy? I dont feel up to driving back to motel, and the coffee isnt bad here either.“ I tried, smiling, waving my empty cup at him. Phil looked at me, rising one of his eyebrows, and smiled devilishly „How could i say no to a beautifull woman?“ He took my cup, winked at me vanishing through the storage doors. I could feel my cheeks flushing again, and my heart beating faster. Shit, shit, shit..

When Phil came back with another full cup of coffee i asked if its ok if I sit at one of the booths, to wich he said fine, since he did have some work to be done. I took my stuff and coffee setteling at the booth. I had a bit over an hour before metting with Jessy, i hoped some inspiration for work might come to me. I took my stuff out of the backpack, took my sneakers off, sitting with my feet up on the booths perch. I liked drawing like that. Leaning my drawing pad on my knees i tried to focus on my work, but my toughts just kept wondering off. I tought about Phil, sneaking glances towards the bar. He was good looking, always nice to me, even tho everyone warned me that he was a 'no good' considering women. He never showed any sign of it towards me. He was easygoing, i enjoyed his company, we definatly clicked. Then there is Jake. I was definatly drawn to him, cant deny that. When im near him, it feels like when a moth is drawn towards fire. Cant fight it, its driving me crazy. But nothing with him is easy. Its like taking one step forward, then not one, or even two, but ten steps back. Its so frustrating. And with all that had happened, i feel like all the progres we had was completly gone. My head was still too woozy for thinking of stuff like this. I setteled my drawing stuff down, taking my coffee, leaning back in the booth. Maybe Jessy would have some advice fore me. Two heads are smarter then one, or so they say. But i should definatly talk to Phil, at least try to explain things to him. I dont want him thinking im giving him some false hope here. As if he could sense my toughts, he turned around, took his coffee and walked towards me. „Mind if i join you?“ he asked, and i smiled „Ofcourse i dont. I guess my inspiration is still sleeping, so no work to be done at the moment.“ He grined „Thats good for me. I can have the pleasure of your company for some more then.“ I chuckled at that, siping some more of the coffee. But i tought again about talking with him about everything. My face must have gotten some serious expression, 'couse Phil looked at me a bit serious, before asking „Whats bothering you, Maya? I have a feeling you want to talk to me about something.“ I looked at him, those deep eyes of his gazing intensly at me, trying to dig up my toughts. „I do.“ I admitted after a moment „But to be hones, i dont know how to start .“ „Well, just do your best.“ He said, and i started to get the feeling of a knot at my stomach again. „Allright.“ I said, but the words didnt come easy after that. „I like you, Phill.“ I said finaly after a moment of silence. He chuckled „Ok, thats a good start.“ „Ah, but that was the easy part.“ I started „Now comes the tricky one.“ I could notice him tensing a bit, like he knew where this might lead to. „Ok, go on then.“ He said. „I enjoy your company, talking to you, its so easygoing. I feel we clicked, that theres some 'spark' between us, and i know you noticed the same.“ „You're right about that.“ He replied. „But..“ i started, and Phil interupted me, sighing „Ahh, there it is, the famous 'but' part.“ „Please, Phil, just let me say what i have, then you can hate me.“ He looked at me, his face getting a soft touch „I couldnt hate you, Maya.“ „Dont say it untill im not done talking.“ I said, a bit sadness creeping to my voice. „Alright. Please, continue.“ „Ok. As i started earlier,i like you, but i dont want to get your hopes up.“ I settled my coffe on the table, my hands fidgeting with the cup. Why was this so hard? „Shit, Phil, im a complete mess at the moment.“ I started „I myself dont know what i want, and its tearing me up inside. There is someone, and i dont know where I stand with him. And i dont want to start something new, if im not a 100% sure that its the right thing, that its something i really want. With no loose ends catching up on me.“ I looked up at Phil, him still not taking his eyes off me. „Am i making any sense to you here?“ i asked, lovering my head. I really didnt want to have this conversation, but that was me being honest. All of a sudden, i could feel Phil's hand covering mine, and i looked back up at him. He still had that softness written all over his face. „I appriciate your honesty, Maya.“ He started „Now let me be honest also.“ „Ofcourse“ i said „I expect nothing less.“ „Good.“ He looked at me more serious now. „You know i like you, you said it yourself. I dont know why, but i felt drawn to you the moment i saw you. Theres something in you that makes a man bedazled by you, i cant explain it differently.“ He paused for a moment before continuing. „And i get it, you dont want to get into something half hearted. And i applaud you for that. Because, if anything was to happen between us, i wouldnt want it that way either.“ He looked at me now, his gaze intensifing again, and i started to feel that heat again. „If it was to happen“ he continued „I would prefere if you wer in it with every inch of your body and soul.“ I was mesmerized by his words. He was so open with me, the words came so easy to him. Why cant it be like this with Jake. „Allrighty, that was pretty honest there.“ I said finaly, making an aqward smile. „You wanted me to be honest.“ He said, adding „And just so you know, im not going to make it easy for you.“ He looked at me now, with that devilish spark in his eyes again. I looked at him puzzled „What do you mean by it?“ He grined at me „Its like this: i will continue to act like i did so far, and you can do the same, cause, lets face it, we both like it.“ His grin widened, and i smiled back at him. „Good, you get me. But, until i get a confirmation from you about freely taking it a step further, i will do whatever i can to maybe, just maybe, help you feel a bit less messy and steer thigs in my favore.“ „And what if it wont end as you hope it would? Can you be ok with just being my friend?“ i asked him. He looked at me for a moment, before answering. „Honestly“ he started“i cant say i wouldnt be dissapointed, a little hearth broken probably, but i would respect your choice. And yes, Maya, if that would be so, i would gladly be just your friend.“ “Thanks, Phil, i appriciate all you said.“ I told him „I was kinda affraid of having this conversation with you.“ „You, affraid? I cant belive that“ he said, teasingly „Belive me, i was scared as hell.“ I said, adding to it „But im glad we had it. I didnt want it to become aqward between us at some point.“ „Not gonna happen.“ He said, winking at me. I smiled „Shit, you know, even thou i had enough yesterday, i could actualy use a drink right now.“ Phil lughed so hard „Awww, you really did get scared. We are in a bar afterall, you just say the words and ill bring you that drink.“ He said, looking at me with one raised eyebrow. „Only if you join me“ i said, grining at him „ And if you dont tell Jessy about it.“ He got up from the booth, smiling and winking before he left for the bar „Deal!“

#duskwood fanfic #duskwood #duskwood mc #duskwood phil #duskwood jessy

34 notes · View notes