#but i haven't read any of the others i don't think

[designdoll]

Follow-up again. Yesterday Mom got me new headphones. My last pair broke and like, to be honest? They were secondhand and not ideal. I kept telling her it was okay and I could do without but she didn't listen, got me a really nice pair.

I don't think I like, consciously recognized how much I was ignoring my sensory issues. I treated it the same way I do most stuff and just, mentally overpowered it because I know I was tough enough and didn't really have any other way. When the box arrived I spent like, five minutes just looking at it. Like it's still hard to process getting anything. As a concept that's so fucking weird to me, since my age's been double digits my parents would make me read the price receipts for my own birthday and Christmas gifts, and it was all like, investment in the future type stuff. Help covering a drawing pad, upgrading my computer to work on more projects. That kinda thing. Getting gifts is fucking weird.

I haven't really taken them off since I got them, except when I'm worried I might damage them. The noise control is like, weight off my shoulders. And the sound quality. I've never experienced anything that good in my whole fucking life. It's so colorful and tactile and I can taste and smell it and hear a depth to my own comfort music I've never been able to experience before. There was a kind of feminine joy I've only been able to reach before with a few drugs. Less dysphoric, even. A little more me. It's embarrassing but, I can't say thank you enough.

Do NOT trust maternal lesbians this woman spiked my hot chocolate with the forever weed. I just woke up like this and she's only speaking in the third person as "mom."

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Jealousy, Jealousy

Summary: Your brothers take you and Javi out to a local bar when you're home to visit. When you run into one of your old childhood friends, Javi can't help but feel jealous

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (no use of y/n, established relationship)

Word Count: 3.2K

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v (whoops), creampie, breeding kink (only in the sense that there's no way in hell Javi's pulling out I know, who is she?), semi-public sex (gettin nasty in a grimy bar bathroom), two ass slaps, drinking/alcohol consumption, Jealous Javi, lowkey Javi is a dick (again, who is she writing nothing but fluff?!)

A/N: Shoutout to @yxtkiwiyxt for more horny Javi ideas rotting my brain at all hours of the day!!! 🤠 I can't believe that there has never been a jealousy one shot for these two in the great wide world of the NTL universe, but you bet your ass that Javier Peña is a possessive man to his core and tolerates zero bullshit from any man who dares to even look at you too long 😌 poorly beta'd bc I'm horny and impatient

Can be read as a part of the It's Never Too Late series!

"Another one?"

"Are you trying to make sure I have miserable hangover tomorrow?"

"Me? Never. Just tryin' to make sure you have fun." Your brother David teased, voice oozing with sarcasm as he popped off his barstool, giving you a playful nudge for your accusation.

While you and Javi had made a few trips back to your hometown of Chicago to visit your family since your move to Laredo, most of it had either been spent at your childhood home with your entire family, or at other family events, like your cousin's wedding a few months ago.

And of course, while your brothers, Charlie and David, were a part of your family, there was a substantial difference between spending time with your whole family together, and spending time with just your brothers.

So when they had convinced you and Javi to come out with them to Rossi's, your favorite dive bar in the city, under the guise of a few drinks and time to catch up, you shouldn't have been shocked to find yourself 4 beers and two shots of whisky deep, and preparing for a much longer night ahead of you than originally anticipated.

"'Nother one for you, big guy?" Charlie asked Javi, following behind David to make their way through the hot and sweaty mess of bodies crowding behind the bar for another drink.

"And before you answer, no isn't an option." David added, sneaking up behind Javi and shaking his shoulders.

"God, you are so annoying." You sighed, rolling your eyes at your brother, jabbing your elbow into his side to keep him from wrestling Javi out of his seat, "Just do two more beers. And I swear, if you come back with another shot, I'm pouring it over your head."

The four of you laughed before your brothers disappeared into the sea of bar patrons, leaving you and Javi giggling at your table.

"Fuck, I haven't drank this much since- God, I don't even remember." Javi sighed, running his hand through his hair and down the back of his head, rubbing the dark curls at the nape of his neck.

"Me either." You replied, followed by a long, low burp and more laughter, "I think the last time I was this drunk, I was here with David and Charlie and all their friends watching the Blackhawks lose in the playoffs, but all I remember is Charlie telling me I threw up in a bush and that he had to carry me to our taxi to get home. But don't worry, I promise not to get that drunk tonight."

"Sounds good, party animal." Javi smirked, placing his hand on your thigh under the table, rubbing it back and forth along the denim of your jeans, snickering at your drunken giggles.

The two of you both reached for your drinks, finishing off the last of what was left in your beer bottles, startled when you swore you had heard your name from a voice you knew wasn't Javi's, Charlie's or David's.

"Cubby? Holy shit, is that you?!"

Setting down your drink, you swerved your head over your shoulder, jaw dropping in complete surprise to see Frankie, one of your brother's best friends you had known for as long as you could remember.

"Frankie?! Oh my god, what the fuck?! Hi!" You squealed, shooting up out of your seat to give him a hug, the alcohol already in your system perhaps making you a little more enthusiastic about your greeting you would have been otherwise.

"What the hell are you doing here?! I thought the goons said you moved to Texas after everything that happened!" Frankie asked excitedly, parting from your hug to take a step back and look at you, shocked by your presence.

"I did, but I'm here visiting for the week! Charlie and David are at the bar right now getting drinks, but they'll be back in a second! Frankie, oh my god, I'm so happy to see you!" You grinned, giving him a playful shove.

"Me too. I feel like I haven't seen you in forever! You- You look great-" He paused, trying his best to play off his comment, quickly shifting topics, "Things uh, everything's been going good for you?"

"Yeah, things have been great! How about you? Wait, we have a table right here, do you wanna sit down and catch up? Unless you're busy, I don't wanna keep you!" You offered, gesturing towards the table behind you where Javi was sitting.

"Yeah, yeah, that would be fuckin' great! I'm meetin' a few buddies here later, but I have plenty of time to catch up if you guys have some room to squeeze me in!"

While you knew there would be plenty of room for one more person at your table, even after your brothers returned, what you didn't know is that since the moment Frankie had shown up, everything about Javi's once happy and carefree demeanor had completely changed.

And not for the better.

As soon as you turned around to face Javi, you could immediately sense the shift in tension, watching his brow furrow and hand wrap tighter around the neck of the near empty beer bottle he was nursing, practically burning a hole through Frankie with the way he was staring him down.

It seemed like Frankie could immediately sense it too, looking over at you before looking back at Javi, as if to silently ask who the hell was sitting with you and your brothers, looking like he was ready to commit murder, at the very least.

"Who's uh...." Frankie paused, awkwardly laughing as he nodded at Javi, trying his best to not seem off-put by Javi's clearly uncomfortable expression.

"I'm so sorry, Frank, this is my-"

"Fiancé. Javi." Javi stated, cutting off the rest of your introduction as he stood up out of his seat, sizing up Frankie as he offered a forceful handshake.

"Fiancé? Lucky guy." Frankie replied, forcing a friendly smile as he shook Javi's hand, "Congrats, I had no idea you were engaged." He shrugged, looking back at you with a more genuine expression before awkwardly shuffling around the table to find a seat across from you and Javi.

"Thanks, we got engaged in November and the wedding's in July!" You chimed in, hoping to try and ease Javi's obvious, unwarranted hostility towards Frankie.

"Oh nice!" Frankie nodded, smiling at both you and Javi, the crinkle in his cheeks dropping at Javi's still unamused facade, "Where you guys gettin' married? Here or Texas?"

"Texas." Javi answered, short and snappy with his response.

"Frank the Tank? No fuckin' way man! What's up?!"

The three of you all seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief at David's voice, turning your head to see him and Charlie making their way back, beers in hand.

"What's up, you goons? Long time, no see!" Frankie grinned, standing up to greet your brothers with happy pats on the back.

As the three of them said their 'hello's' you stayed put next to Javi, whapping his shoulder with the back of your hand, forcing him to face the frustrated frown plastered across your expression.

"What the fuck was that for?" You whispered to him, not wanting to draw any attention from your brothers and Frankie as they caught up.

"What?" Javi asked, shrugging nonchalantly before taking another sip of his beer, setting down the empty bottle with a forceful thud.

"W-what- What the fuck do you mean, 'what'?" You frowned, quickly realizing that Javi was trying to play dumb about the clearly uncomfortable interaction he and Frankie had just been through.

Javi silently shrugged again, jaw ticking from side to side as he looked back and forth between you and Frankie before speaking again.

"Just have never heard of Frankie before today. Didn't know you'd be so excited to see someone I didn't even know existed until five minutes ago."

"I've known Frankie since I was like, six years old. He's been one of my brother's best friends for like, ever. So yes, I was excited to see him. Would you like me to disclose every other person I've ever met and not mentioned to you, too?" You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest, feeling your scowl sink deeper into the wrinkles of your forehead.

Both groups of conversations seemed to lull at the same time, Frankie, David and Charlie all turning back towards your table to see the sour looks on both yours and Javi's faces.

"You good?" Charlie asked, handing a beer to you and then one to Javi.

"Listen, it was super nice to see all of you guys, but I don't wanna overstay my welcome or anything. I can just wait at the bar for my buddies if the four of you wanna hang out." Frankie suggested, clearly realizing he must have been the shift for the change of tone at the table.

"What, you're gonna catch up with these two idiots and leave me hanging? Seriously, please stay, we haven't hung out all together in forever!"

While Javi was able to make it subtle enough to everyone else, you could clearly tell that your invitation was the exact opposite of what he was hoping to hear.

"Only if you're-"

"Yes, I'm sure, Frankfurter, get a drink and sit your ass down!" You insisted, shooing Frankie towards the bar along with your brothers, the three of you howling over Frankie's long forgotten childhood nickname.

If he hadn't made it blatantly clear before, your avid encouragement for Frankie to join your group certainly had.

Right now, Javier Peña was one thing, and one thing only.

Jealous.

"I still can't believe you won't admit that I beat you!"

"Because you didn't!"

"I did, and you know it, David! C'mon you guys, back me up here!"

It hadn't taken much for the five of you to down a few more drinks- For four of you, you let the alcohol flowing through your veins loosen you up even more, laughing and reminiscing about your favorite shared childhood memories, teasing and taunting each other over the silly trials and tribulations of your youth.

For the other, the few beers and glasses of whisky swirling around in his stomach were nothing but a way to keep from saying (or doing) something out of spite that he'd regret.

"I'm gonna be honest with you here, Dave, I'm not gonna say that your sister's right, buuuut...." Frankie smirked, holding up his beer bottle to you, giving you a silent cheers of approval.

"See?! Told you! Thank you, Frankie, at least someone knows what they're talking about." You teased, giving David a jab in his stomach as he rolled his eyes at you.

"Dare I say, Cubby is more of a badass than either of you two clowns, but I don't know if you can handle that conversation yet." Frankie smiled, reaching across the table for a fist bump, "She's a pretty kick ass hockey player, ya know."

Javi had been so focused on picking at the waterlogged label of his beer bottle, he hadn't even noticed that Frankie was trying to talk to him, only looking in his direction after a nudge from your brother.

"Hmm?" Javi hummed, barely bothering to look in Frankie's direction to acknowledge his comment.

"I said your fiancé is a badass. Didn't know if you knew how good she was at hockey, that's all." Frankie shrugged, before taking another sip of his beer.

"Yeah, why the fuck would I not know that? She's my fiancé." Javi huffed, jaw clenching.

"Javi, seriously?" You whispered, shooting him a stern look as you had to quite literally bite your tongue to keep from causing a scene at the way he was behaving.

"Sorry, man, I- I was just givin' her a compliment." Frankie grimaced, shooting you an apologetic look from across the table.

"Yeah, I think you've made it pretty fucking clear how much you like complimenting her." Javi grumbled, just loud enough for you to hear and to having you fuming at your fiancé's enraging behavior.

You took one long, low deep breath, trying to compose yourself as the rest of the table sat in uncomfortable silence, wishing they had a chainsaw to cut through the palpable tension shrouding the air.

"Can I talk to you for a second, please?"

Javi knew just as well as you that even though you had phrased it as a question, he certainly had no choice in the matter, begrudgingly trailing behind you as you silently excused the both of you from the table.

In a stark silence, Javi followed behind you through the sea of drunken strangers that filled the bar until you reached a semi quiet hallway near the back of the building by the bathrooms.

You let out a frustrated sigh as your back bounced against the wall, using it to prop yourself as you stared at Javi, arms folded over his chest and eyes wandering in anywhere but your direction.

"What the fuck is going on, Javi? And don't bullshit me and say that you don't know what I'm talking about because you clearly do." You demanded, nostrils flaring and fists clenched.

"Like I really need to fucking say it." Javi huffed, shaking his head with a sarcastic laugh.

"You don't, because you've made it very clear, but yeah, I'd like to hear you say it."

You could feel the heat seething through your veins as Javi chewed at the inside of his lip, trying to bide whatever time he could to keep from bruising his pride.

"Wow, I really cannot believe this. You're seriously that threatened by Frankie?" You scoffed, stunned that Javi couldn't bring himself to admit it.

"I'm not fuckin' threatened by him." He spit back, eyes peeled to the ground. "He's just way too fucking comfortable with you."

"Oh, you cannot be serious. Because I've known him forever and he's a nice guy? Jesus Christ, Javi."

"I've been watching the way he's been fucking looking at you since the moment he said hello to you. How he's talking to you, acting with you, it's like- Jesus, it's like he trying to-"

"What? Like he's trying to flirt with me? Like he likes me?" You questioned, raising your voice enough to finally get Javi to look at you, letting him feel the frustration you were engulfed in.

"Yes! Jesus fucking Christ, yes!" Javi groaned back, growing more heated by the second.

"And what if he was, Javi? What if he was trying to flirt with me? Do you really in your right mind think that I would ever, EVER pick him above you?" You asked, throwing up your hands in defeat, voice trembling as you fought back tears, "So what if he was? I'm yours, Javi, and I've got the fucking ring on my finger to prove it."

You and Javi stood in silence for a moment, watching each other's chests rise and fall on beat. You swear you can see it in his eyes, the way everything about Javi seems to shift, realizing how badly he'd fucked tonight up.

Before you can get in another word, you can see Javi's eyes lock on the single stall bathroom door that's swung open at the end of the hallway, looking once at you and once again at the bathroom. You weren't even able to protest before he had grabbed you by the hand, checking once over his shoulder before ushering you inside and locking the door behind him.

As the lock clicked, you could feel the heat in your cheeks burning, and not just with anger like they were a few moments ago. The dim light of the bathroom flickered over the shadowy figure of Javi's broad body until he had your back flushed against the sink, pinning you between the porcelain and him.

"Javi, what are you-"

Suddenly, Javi had one hand cradling the back of your head, the other wrapped around your hip as he craned his neck down to let his lips collide with yours.

The angry part of you wanted to push him off you, to berate him with your frustrations until he apologized for how childishly he had behaved tonight.

Every other part of you that was so turned on by the fact Javi was so worked up, he had no other choice than to fuck you in the bathroom to prove that you were his, couldn't have cared less about it.

"You're all fucking mine, you know that?" Javi growled, his words warm against your skin, muffled between messy kisses.

"I'm all yours, Javi." You moaned, fighting to let each word escape from your lips as your mouths became frantic, colliding with tongues and teeth.

Your breath hitched in the back of your throat as Javi's hands slid down your sides, fingers fumbling with the button and zipper on your jeans until he the denim and your underwear pooled around your ankles.

After your jeans had dropped to the ground, his hands were back on your sides, fingertips digging into your skin as he flipped you around, your stomach pressed against the countertop, ass flushed against his hips where you could feel the strain of his cock beneath his pants.

"No one else gets to have you like this. Gets to make you feel like I do." Javi groaned, your core aching at the clanking of his belt coming undone behind you, watching his brow furrow in concentration in the reflection from the mirror in front of you, "Do they, baby?"

"N-No." You whimpered, feeling him run his tip through your folds, collecting the slick that had already begun pooling between your thighs.

"You gonna let me fuck you right here in this bathroom, hermosa? Let everyone here know that you're mine?" Javi mewled, whispering into your ear as he buried his head in the crook of your neck.

"Mhmmmhh." You nodded, whining as Javi teased you with the head of his cock, prodding at your entrance, "Please."

Javi chuckled softly to himself, hearing you gasp as he filled you with every inch of him, hips pressed firmly against your ass. You could practically feel your eyes roll to the back of your head with how full he felt inside you, despite how easily you had taken him from how wet and worked up you were.

"Love this pussy so much, baby. Always so fucking wet and tight for me."

Your eyes opened as Javi began to thrust into you, startled by the already deliberate pace he was setting with each snap of his hips. Staring back at the mirror, you could see the smug smirk spreading between Javi's cheeks, knowing how quickly he could make you crumble.

Your hands shot back behind you, wrapping around Javi's stomach, trying to grab fist fulls of his shirt to brace yourself as he fucked into you. With the grip Javi had around your hips, you shouldn't have been worried about going anywhere, only about the marks that he'd leave in the pump flesh of your skin after he was finished.

"Oh fuck, Javi! Fuck, oh my godddd-" You moaned, all consumed by the feeling of his length sliding in and out of your cunt, perfectly pounding at your g-spot with every thrust.

You tried to let your head dip back, but before you could tilt it any further, one of Javi's hands had shifted, snaking up your front and wrapping around your jaw, forcing your gaze back in the mirror to meet his.

"Nuh uh, mi amor," he paused, gritting his teeth as he swore under his breath, trying to compose himself, "need to see you, Osita. Wanna see that pretty face when I make you cum and fuck you so fucking full of me, you're gonna feel me dripping out of you all night."

His words had seemed to spark something feral in the both of you, moaning his name as you backed your ass up further into him, taking everything that he had to give.

With your eyes locked in filthy glass reflection, Javi's hand slid back down your sides, smacking your ass before reaching around to your front, slotting himself between your thighs to find your clit, puffy and aching to be touched.

"Fuck, Javi! Feels so fucking good." You whined, the newfound pressure of his fingers against your clit causing the tingle building at the base of your spine to grow rapidly.

"Yeah? And who's the only one that gets to make you feel this good, baby?" Javi grunted, hips slapping against your ass, each thrust feeling harder and deeper than the last.

With the way Javi was fucking you, you felt lucky that your brain could manage to string together a coherent thought, let a lone a comprehendible sentence, your words heavy and breathless as you fought against the overwhelming sensation of your orgasm starting to creep through your body.

"You! It's- fuck- it's you Javi! Only you!" You sobbed, praying that the music and chatter of the bar was loud enough to drown out your volume.

"That's my girl." Javi devilishly grinned, feeling the way your cunt was clamping down around his cock, sensing how close you were to finishing, "Gotta cum first for me, hermosa. Fuckin' soak me before I cum so deep inside of you."

Javi began to circle your clit faster, putting just enough pressure on your sensitive bundle of nerves to push you over the edge, your vision going white as your orgasm began to crash through you.

"Fuck, Javi! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckfuckfuck-ahhhhh!"

You could feel how instantly limp your body had gone, so drunk on pleasure, that if Javi hadn't been behind you, holding you up, you were convinced you would have collapsed over the edge of the sink you were fucking on.

You knew Javi wasn't far behind you, his thrusts becoming sloppy and frantic as he chased his own high, desperate to make good on his promise to fill you with every last drop he had to give.

"That's it, baby. Fuck, I'm- mierda- I'm close. Gonna give you everything. Let everyone know who this pussy belongs to. Feels so fucking- fuck- so fucking good. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

With one last pump of his cock, Javi was spilling inside you, painting your walls with his spend, burying himself inside your cunt until he you had taken everything he had to give.

The warmth and wetness of your mixed arousal pooled where your bodies met, making a mess between your thighs as Javi began to pull out.

The both of you watched as your bodies rose and fell in the mirror, trying desperately to catch your breath in your post orgasmic haze. It wasn't long until your unhinged jaws were replaced with devious smirks, Javi grabbing you by the waist to flip him back towards him, pulling you to his chest as he kissed you.

"Damn, maybe I should make you jealous more often." You teased, biting down on your lip as you gave Javi a loving poke on his chest before reaching down to pull your pants back up your legs.

"Whatever." Javi sighed, playfully rolling his eyes at you as he did the same, looping his belt back through his jeans. He let out another deep breath, arms crossed over his chest as he looked up at you with a sheepish shrug, "I'm- fuck. I'm sorry about tonight. I was a dick."

"It's okay." You smiled, pressing up on your tiptoes to drape your arms around his neck, planting a soft kiss on his lips, "I love you. And only you. I don't think you could get rid of me, even if you tried. And I think that me letting you fuck me in this dirty ass bar bathroom proves that."

The two of you laughed, turning back to the mirror to readjust the sweaty mats of tangled hair and crinkled clothes in hopes of avoiding any suspicions when you made your way back to the table.

"I know. Still shouldn't have been an asshole about it." He shrugged, stepping behind you so that his chest was pressed against your back and arms were draped across your front, his mustache tickling your neck as he leaned in to whisper in your ear, "This was fucking hot, though."

"It was. Feel sorry for the next person who has to use this bathroom." You grimaced, hoping that you hadn't managed to leave a trace of the ways you had further disrespected the dingy restroom.

"You wanna head out first, or should I?" Javi asked, rocking you back and forth in his grasp, swaying you just enough to make you burst out into giggles.

"It's so late and I'm sure everyone here is hammered, we probably just could sneak out at the same time and no one would notice." You suggested, still drunk enough to not care enough about a proper escape plan.

After one last kiss and smack of your ass, Javi quickly cracked open the door, doing one swift scan before giving you the nod to note the coast was clear.

Javi grabbed you by the hand, looking back at you with a stupid smirk as the two of you left the bathroom, unsuspecting and assuming that you'd be able to make it down the hallway without any run ins.

Unfortunately, Javi hadn't noticed the body across the bar, making a B-line to the bathroom through the drunken crowd towards the bathrooms after his half-assed check.

Before any of you could process it, Javi collided with the other person, both people grunting and stumbling backwards, mumbling apologies as they collected themselves, until they locked eyes.

"Oh, uh- Sorry. Didn't uh- Didn't see you guys coming." Frankie stammered, looking back and forth between you and Javi and the bathroom you had just emerged from, quickly piecing the puzzle before him together.

"All good. See you, uh- see you back at the table." Javi winced, trying his best to keep from laughing as both your cheeks began to turn a bright shade of pink as you slid past Frankie.

"Looks like you may not end up being the only jealous one tonight, Jav."

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

@pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24

@3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @raspberrybesitos

@partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo

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@jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled

@pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @vee-bees-blog

@hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr

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@copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog

@samgirl4life @pigeonmama @survivingandenduring @itsokbbygrl @javierpena-inatacvestnotifs

[xmunsonlovex]

Somewhere I Belong

Summary: You leave home for a new opportunity in Hawkins. You're on your own, and your first day, you meet your metal head neighbor. Will this be the start of something that you've always been longing for, or will you keep it at a distance, as you always do.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Shy Fem!Reader

wc: 8600+

Warnings: 18+ MDNI. female reader, reader has low self esteem and a lot of insecurities, slight angst, use of pet names (baby, sweetheart, etc) mentions of male masturbation, mentions of oral(f!receiving) reader is inexperienced and a virgin, mutual pinning, idiots in love, eventual smut in later chapter(s), Eddie is little bit of perv, but only for you.

a/n: It's here, guys. A day earlier than I had originally set myself to release it. I had to break it up into multiple parts, which I am currently writing already. I hope to have pt.2 out next week. That'll be the smutty chapter, for those wanting to see these 2 take the next step. Thank you to whoever reads this, I hope you like it. While I've read HUNDREDS of fics from all you lovely loves here on Tumblr, this is my first fic I have ever written. I think I read it over at least 20 times. I'm sure there are still many grammatical errors and things I may have missed. Please let me know if you like it. Please reblog and comment your thoughts 💗

Dividers by: saradika-graphics

You huffed as you placed the last box of your belongings on the carpeted floor. This definitely needs to be replaced, you thought as you looked at it. The move to Hawkins was grueling, between heavy traffic and nasty weather, you were trying to just make it there in one piece. Thankfully you did, and now you stood in the middle of your living room, taking in your new surroundings. It's around 6pm, and it's starting to get dark. You felt lucky to have a nice view of the sunset from your backyard, if you could call it that. It was a small section with enough space for maybe a little garden (you’ve always dreamt of growing your own veggies), and patio chairs. You had found the relatively inexpensive trailer for sale in a community called Forest Hills in Hawkins. Looking at the photos, you knew it needed some repairs. A new paint job too, maybe, but with your new job in the city, you figured you'd make it your own in no time. It was supposed to pay fairly well too, working as an administrative assistant.

You walk over to the kitchen, checking the fridge and stove. All seemed to work fine for now, and with that, you were putting away your kitchen belongings in the cupboards, making note to fix the wobbly door to each cabinet. A box of Mac and Cheese sat on the counter while you boiled some water in a small pot, and then started to cut up some cucumbers and cherry tomatoes, making your favorite salad. You were singing to yourself as you made your food, that you didn't hear the knock on the door. It was soft at first, but quickly became louder after the 4th knock. You grabbed a towel to dry off your wet hands, and walked to your front door, looking through the peephole, but could not make out who was on the other side. You opened the door just a bit, and see a frizzy- haired man, who didn't look much older than you. He sported a denim jacket with lots of heavy metal band patches on it. That definitely caught your eye. 

"Hey Jack-" He turned his head to look at you, then scratched at his cheek. "You're not Jack.." He said. 

"Hi, no. I'm not. I'm guessing he's the one I bought this trailer from though..?" You asked, a small smile on your lips. He was cute, you thought. 

"Makes sense. I haven't seen him in like..2 weeks. I thought maybe he went on vacation then got another car.." he pointed to your shitty car that sat on your driveway, practically falling apart. "You left the trunk open. I um..closed it for you. Don't want any raccoons to get in there.." He chuckled softly, sliding his hands into his pockets. 

You smiled at him, and nodded. Of course you left it open. "Thank you. I was doing a million things at once.." You sighed, and rubbed your forehead. "I just moved in today. I'm Y/N, by the way.." you say, noticing him smile softly when you mentioned your name. "I'm Eddie. I live next door to you.." He nodded towards his trailer and then kicked a rock as he looked down, making sure it went to the side rather than in your home. "Well, nice to meet you, Eddie. I uhm, I'll see you around? I have dinner cooking right now. Don’t want to burn down my new home.”  You said with a chuckle.

 “Yeah. Maybe I can show you around town..whenever you're free." He says quickly. You felt your cheeks heat up as he looked at you. Those big, beautiful brown eyes, they could put you in a trance.  "I'm usually home by 5:30..and I'm off on Sundays." 

“Ok, yeah, I like that idea. I’m off on the weekends, so that works out.” You say.

He felt a giddiness inside him, the thought of making a new friend and even the possibility that the friendship could turn into something more, gave him butterflies. Hope, even. For so long, he was used to being blamed for the events that happened in Hawkins. For so long..he was called a freak and spat at for his taste in music. He wasn't a bad guy, at least he didn't think so. Steve and Robin, and the boys (who were all graduated now) didn't think so. So why was it so hard for him to make other friends? To get a date? He was tired of the meaningless sex that usually transpired at The Hideout, not that it happened often. He wouldn't call himself a ladies man by any means, or someone the girls would seek after. Most times, girls wanted something from it. A little weed. Or maybe the right to brag that they had a quickie with a front man of a rock-band. They never specified which band, though. So when the opportunity arose to show a pretty, new girl around town, he was absolutely going to take the chance to do that. 

"I'll stop by Sunday. I can show you around town, and where to go for all the good food places. Maybe I can take you..to get some groceries, if you need. I don't mind." Eddie offered. 

"Ok, yeah, thank you, Eddie. I uhm...gotta get going though, but I’ll see you Sunday." You try to sound confident, but it comes out a bit shy and timid, instead. He says goodbye, and you watch him jog to his trailer, looking over at you and waving before going inside his home.  You can't help but bite your lower lip, knowing he would be trouble. You weren't exactly looking for a relationship, not romantically anyway. It was embarrassing to think about the fact you had no experience aside from a few pecks on the lips from the 3 dates you had gone on back at home. The dates always ended with a "I had a nice time, but I think we should see other people." You weren't sure if you were maybe too boring for them, or maybe it was your looks? Your self esteem had always been low, even back to when you were in middle school. Kids were relentless and brutal. 

High school was no better. Girls were rude and mocked you for your style, or lack thereof. Boys were cruel too. Laughing when you once tripped over your own feet, nervous around a football player you liked. He looked at you apologetically but it didn't stop the chuckle that left his mouth when your knees and palms slammed on the tile floor. You were 23 now and still remembered it like yesterday. It was the reason you left home. Your mom was sad, she'd definitely miss you but understood the change you needed in your life. She wasn't about to stop you from becoming a better version of yourself. And this was your chance. 

Sunday rolled around way quicker than you anticipated. Between putting away the remainder of your items around the house and doing a deep clean; you were exhausted. But, looking forward to the city tour with your new neighbor. You had woken up earlier than usual to have a shower and a quick breakfast to settle your growling stomach from skipping dinner the night before. After finishing your food, and cleaning up the kitchen, you grabbed your purse and keys, setting them on the small console table by the door as you pace around, growing a little nervous. What if he decided he didn't want to show you around? He probably had better things to do. Your thoughts were promptly silenced as a knock was heard. Giving it a couple of seconds to not seem too eager, you then walked to your door and opened it. Eddie smiled. You could tell he was freshly showered, his hair still a little wet and the smell of soap mixed with some cologne invaded your nostrils. 

"Morning, I have an appointment with Ms. Y/N." He said, with a sheepish smile. You giggled. 

"Good Morning, sir. Yes, I'll be happy to help you with that. Please come in and take a seat. She will be right with you. Could I offer you some water?" You say in your most professional voice. Eddie was in your home now, admiring your decor. It was simple but you. There were some framed photos on the wall; and a light blue couch taking up quite a bit of space in the living room. 

"Huh? Oh yes, thank you ma'am." He said and took a seat on the couch, that intoxicating smile now reaching his eyes. "You're a metal fan." He said, noticing your CD and vinyl collection by the TV stand. "Hmm. Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath...Dio??" He said excitedly, holding the vinyl for Holy Diver. Oh, he's going to have to marry you, now.

"Yeah, I love them. My dad’s a huge fan. Would put the album on when I was younger." You say, smiling at the fond memories, then hand over a glass of cold water to Eddie, who accepts it with a smile. "I fear that you will never get rid of me, now. These are my favorite bands. Not to mention...there is some stuff here that I haven't listened to yet..you have quite the extensive library, sweetheart." He chuckled. The heat that emitted from your cheeks at the nickname was for sure evident, you thought. No way he didn’t see the pink tint on your face. And he did. He proudly gave himself a mental high-five for making you blush. 

"Alright, let's get going. I have loads to show you." Eddie said after drinking the water you so kindly offered him.��

Eddie took you around to all his favorite spots in Hawkins, starting with showing you where your new job was located, then drove back south towards Hawkins again. You learned a lot about him while he drove you around. He was 25, worked as a mechanic at a local auto repair shop, and on some weekends, he'd play with his band, Corroded Coffin, at a bar called The Hideout. You said you'd definitely go see him play and that you were sure he sounded amazing, despite him saying otherwise. That made him blush this time around.  

"So, this is where I went to high school, figured I'd show you since it's on the way to the farmers market you wanted to go to." He tapped on the steering wheel. His hands couldn’t stay still, between either the tapping or him playing air drums to the song that quietly played on his radio.

“Kind of looks like my school...but mine was filled with the most obnoxious and hateful people I'd ever met." You say, your tone a bit softer. "It's the main reason I left home. Everyone I knew...they held this standard of 'I'm better than you.' A lot of people with money. An easy life. Meanwhile, my mom worked her ass off all day and night to keep our mouths fed." You then fell quiet for a bit. "I hated my high school years.." You chuckle faintly and look over at him, who looked back at you while he waited at a red light. "I know all about that.." He nodded. "I wasn't a...popular guy in high school either. I was bullied here and there, but most people left me alone. They didn't want to mess with the one guy who dealt them their weed. Or whatever drug they needed." He said, a little bit of a white lie but you didn't need to know the whole story. With that, he winked at you with a small smirk, and drove to the farmers market. 

"What?! How can you not like cucumbers? They're so tasty! With some salt and ranch. So good." You said, laughing as he made a gagging face while you picked some fresh fruit and placed them in the basket you were holding. "Respectfully darling, they taste so bland. Like crunchy water." 

You scoff and shake your head. "They’re super healthy, though. If you ever come over for lunch or something, I'll make you my special tomato and cucumber salad. It has some dill weed in it. And ranch. You'll love it."

"I take it back. I don't think I can hang out with you anymore. Dill weed? You're killing me here." He joked. The laugh that you let out was now his favorite sound in the world. A genuine laugh at his lame attempt at joking around with you. 

After you paid for the fruits, he gently placed his hand on your lower back, guiding you towards the next stall, which was selling homemade sauces and jams. The older woman on the other side of the table gives Eddie a rather unpleasant look, then notices you. What she can only imagine to be this innocent young woman who is being put under a spell by Eddie the "devil worshipper". This worried her. It took her no time to pull out a pamphlet of their local church, and handed it to you, but you immediately shut that down, and handed it back to her. 

"I appreciate the suggestion, but..I'm not really religious. Thank you. I'd just like to buy-"

"I will not sell my items to devil worshippers like you and Munson, here." Her tone immediately changed to unfriendly and unwelcoming. Eddie felt himself start to get angry, not so much of what she said about him. He was used to that. But because now you'd been given the same treatment as him, and you didn't deserve that. You were sweet. And so beautiful. Welcomed him with a smile rather than spiteful comments and-

“That's OK. I can go spend my money elsewhere. I saw a few stalls that had better prices, actually. And frankly, they also seemed nicer. I can't imagine your jams and sauces taste any good when you have such hate in your heart.” You say. It wasn't meant to be an insult or anything of that nature, you genuinely didn't know why she was being so mean to Eddie. He looked at you, a smile tugging on the corner of his lips. “Come on, I know the one.” Eddie grabbed your hand, leading you to a different part of the market. Near the parking lot. 

“Hi Sammy. Y/N, is this what you're looking for?” He asked you, this vendor was selling lots of different jams. He'd known about him from The Wheelers. Particularly Nancy. “You bring me a new customer? Eddie. How can I ever repay you?” Sammy smiled fondly at him. One of the very few people in town that treated Eddie with some dignity. 

“Yes. I'm new in town. Wanted to check out the local farmers market. See what you guys had.” You smile shyly. Eddie came to the conclusion that you were quite shy by nature. Not that he was observing every small detail of you on purpose. Or maybe..

“Oh, Eddie. She's so sweet! Polar opposites, I see.” He joked and Eddie glared at him, with no real mean intention behind it. “Teasing. Eddie's a great guy. You've made a wonderful friend.” He hyped him up, trying to be a wingman of sorts. 

“I agree.” You simply say, worried you'd start babbling. Wouldn't be the first time, and instead, you offer Eddie a warm smile as you look at him, a look that lingered for a couple seconds longer than usual. “Alrighty lovebirds. What can I get for yah?” Sammy smirked, looking at both you and Eddie, noticing the flustered expressions. Oh, young love. 

“Um, yes. I would like the grape, blackberry and..peach jam, please.” You say, your face is on fire as you stutter your words. Get a hold of yourself. You hadn’t known Eddie for more than a week, and already you were a mess. Stumbling over your words, blushing every time his fingertips brushed your skin or sent a sweet nickname your way. Eddie is definitely going to be the death of you. Sammy hands you the 3 jars of jam, and puts them in a brown paper bag, adding a smaller jar in there with the others. “This one is my famous strawberry jam. My bestseller. This sample is on me. Let me know if you like it.” He says, smiling sweetly as he hands you the bag. You pull out your wallet, and go to grab some money, but Eddie stops you, grabbing his own wallet quicker.  “I got it..” He mumbled with a smile, and before you could put up a fight, he slapped a 20 dollar bill on Sammy’s palm. “I'll see you, Sam.” Eddie says and he guides you two to walk over to his van. 

“Anything else you want to do?” He asked, opening the door for you and watching as you go in, his eyes admiring the round of your ass. He shakes the impure thoughts from his mind, and watches you buckle yourself in.

“We can head home. Maybe I can make you some lunch? At…my place. If-if you want. I don’t want to impose, or anything. I’m sure you’re a busy guy and all-” He chuckles at your rambling, thinking you couldn’t possibly be any cuter than you already were. Oh, he’s in trouble, as well. 

“Let’s go have some lunch. I guess I’ll try this special cucumber and tomato salad you keep trying to sell me on. With the dill weed and ranch.” He smirked, and gently shut the door to his van, then went around and got in the driver side, buckling in. “Ready, madam?” He said, shaking his wild mane side to side. He turned his head towards you, and gave you a goofy smile as he started the van, and then drove out of the parking lot. You softly laughed at his antics, already enamoured with him. “Hey Eddie, can I ask you something?” You cautiously say, not sure whether this would offend him. “Hm.” He replies, turning left to get into the correct lane towards the trailer park. “Do people really think you’re a satanist? I mean..if..you are, I promise I am not bothered by it. I don’t put down anyone’s beliefs. Unless you’re a shitty person. Which I do not believe you are. You’ve been really nice to me.” You say, once again, rambling. “I am. Why do you think the whole town gives me such scared looks? Poor Jeannie, the lady with the jams, was so upset when I sacrificed her chickens and goats. But..I needed them! I wish she’d just understand.”  He sighed, shaking his head and then glanced at you, finding you wide-eyed. “I’m joking, sweetheart.” He let out a soft laugh, and came to a full stop right before their turn. “This town is very stuck on old beliefs. I like metal music, and the media painting it as the devil’s music a few years ago certainly didn’t help my case. I also played dungeons and dragons in high school, still do actually. And this whole place came after me with pitchforks.” He once again left out some important key facts regarding the history of Hawkins. A conversation for another day, perhaps. “Not everyone is horrible, but I’ve kept my circle small for this very reason.” He added.

Once he arrived back at the trailer park, he parked his van at his place after dropping you off at your front door like a gentleman. He said he’d come over in about 20 minutes, saying he had a few calls he had to make. You didn’t ask any questions, and instead focused on getting started on lunch. Your “special” salad, along with some sandwiches, chips and 2 glasses of cold cokes. You hoped he would enjoy it, now second guessing everything you just did. To the paper plates you placed the food on, to the silly Halloween table cloth you had put on your small dining table. It was only March. You thought of earlier as you sat on your couch waiting for him. When he placed his hand on the small of your back. His hand felt like fire on you, over your clothes and yet, you recall the goosebumps traveling all over your body from such a simple and soft touch. You wondered how his hands would feel on other parts. Your shoulders. Massaging out years of tension and stress. Wondered how his hands would feel if he held your cheek in a romantic manner. Or what they would feel like caressing your neck down to your arms, until they were in an area you wanted to feel him the most. You shut your eyes tightly, and lean your head back against the top of the cushion on the couch, letting out a soft sigh.Your insecurities overwhelming you as you sat there alone with your thoughts. 

“Steve, I..I need your guidance here, man.” Eddie panicked over the phone, pacing his small kitchen, playing with the phone cord out of habit. “What are you talking about? You got this. It’s like a damn movie. A cute girl moves in next door. Voluntarily wants to hang out with you. You’re golden!” He tries his best to comfort Eddie in his state of anxiety. “I don’t know. She’s beautiful, absolutely. Is she wanting to hang out, out of pity, though? Because some dumbass called me a freak in front of her? Is she-” Eddie is quickly cut off by Steve. “Yes. She is inviting you over for lunch, after she accepted your offer to show her around town, and laughed at your jokes, because she feels bad that some lonely, old woman called you a freak.” Steve deadpanned. “You really think so?” Eddie sadly sighed. Steve wanted to strangle him over the phone. “Eddie, no! I know your expertise with women isn’t as evolved as mine…but listen when I tell you, she’s into you. To some degree, anyway! Go over, have lunch with her. Be a little flirty. See where it goes. No harm in trying.” Steve smiled. Easy for the Stud of Hawkins to say. 

You hear a knock at your door, one you were now familiar with, pulling you out of your negative thoughts. Something you really had to work on. You’re a little quicker to answer the door this time, and see Eddie standing there with a few flowers he picked from The Wilson’s front yard on the other side of his trailer. They’ll never notice, he’d argue. “Oh wow, those are so pretty..” You say, your attention immediately drawn to the light blue flowers in his hand. He swallows hard. “Just like you.” He smiles softly, and hands them to you, and you graciously take them. He doesn’t miss the crimson blush that spreads over your cheeks to your ears. “Thank you, Eddie. Come in.” You bashfully say, stepping aside to let him in, and then shut your door. “I made us lunch. Um, I hope it’s to your liking.” He watches you walk into the kitchen, grab a small vase and add water to it, then place the flowers he picked out into it. “I’m sure I will love it. Let’s try that salad, huh?” He said and sat down at the table. 

It was close to 6 in the afternoon now, and Eddie was helping you clean up the dining table, his belly full of the delicious food you made. “Sooo…I could tell you liked the salad. Just admit it. Cucumbers are amazing.” You smirk, looking at him. “Whoa. Let’s not get crazy. You’re lucky that I am fond of you.” He throws the paper plates in the trash, with your approval of course. “But yes, it was really good, Y/N.” He smiles, looking back at you. “I wanted to ask you something now.” Eddie says, walking up to you as you stood by the kitchen entryway. You feel your heartbeat start to hammer in your chest at the close proximity. Noticing the faint freckles that paint his upper cheeks. He is so pretty. 

“My band is playing next weekend. At The Hideout. I would…really like for you to be there. We go on stage at 9..Not too late at night. And! You’ll get to meet my friends. Steven and Robin. Possibly Nancy. She doesn’t care for the loud music, so she doesn’t really go to these things.” He said, looking down at his feet, then up at you, trying to read your expression. “What if they don’t like me?” You say, your voice so small, you wanted to curl into yourself and disappear. His features soften, and he places his hand over yours, which was on the kitchen counter. 

“Believe me, they will love you.” He gives your hand a comforting caress, making you a blushing mess for what felt like the 50th time today.

 “I would love to meet them. And to see you perform.” You take in a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm your anxiety. He could make out that you were a little hesitant in your response.    

 “Do I make you nervous?” He says suddenly, his eyes boring into yours. You freeze at his question, because it was as if his demeanor changed in a blink of an eye; from gentle to dominating. It was all in the way he looked at you with his dark eyes. 

“N-no. No, not really. I mean, I am just a shy person. I get nervous around new people. As you can tell.” You say. He takes your hand in his, holding it,  and flashes you a warm smile.

“Don’t worry. You’ll fit right in with us. I promise. They don’t bite.” He then leans in, close to your ear, whispering. “Though, I do a little.” Eddie says, and patted your hand, smirking. He learned that he really liked to make you squirm, and see you flustered. Sometimes he would get this burst of confidence that he had to take advantage of. It’s how he got himself more gigs at The Hideout. How he got himself a better paying position as a mechanic at J’s Auto Service. That was a milestone, because he was able to save up enough money to get Wayne his own trailer a few blocks away, in a better neighborhood. He deserved it. 

You open the door for Eddie, smiling as you watch him check the doors hinges, making sure the lock worked well, for your safety, of course. “Well, have a great first day at work. If you need anything, give me a call, ok?” He assures you that giving him a call at work would be the highlight of his day. “And you can call me whenever you want too. You know I’m all alone here.” You giggle, biting your lower lip. The playful flirting that occurred throughout the day really put you in good spirits, giving you a tiny bit of confidence. “I’ll definitely remember that. Sleep well, princess.” Eddie smirks, and walks down your porch, but stops to look over your car. “You’ll need new tires soon. You should bring it into the shop during the week. I’ll take a look at it and do an inspection.” He then waves, giving you no time to answer. 

It’s Friday afternoon, and you had 2 hours left of your shift. Counting the minutes until it was 5:00. You didn’t mind the job, it was practically the same as your office position back at home; filing papers, taking calls and sending out emails all day. While this position gave you a bit more responsibility and tasks, the environment was relaxed and the rest of the staff seemed to be chill. One girl, Veronica, would come over and talk to you on her way back in from her smoke breaks. You remembered Eddie smelled the same. He must smoke often enough.

“Are you doing anything fun this weekend? Not much to do in Hawkins.” Veronica popped her chewing gum, playing with a strand of her long hair as she leaned at the reception desk, looking at you.

“I am, actually! My neighbor asked me to go to The Hideout. To see his band play.”

“Eddie Munson? Ugh. The Hideout is so gross. He always takes all the girls there.” She rolled her eyes, chuckling as she nonchalantly picked her nails, admiring the design painted on them. She’d excitedly showed them to you earlier in the day. Your heart nearly sunk to your ass hearing her say that. Were you just another easy girl to him? No way would you give yourself up that easily to Eddie, or any man for that matter, and you didn’t feel that you gave off that kind of energy. You wondered if his whole shy persona was just a ploy to sleep with you, and call it a day. You were sure you liked Eddie. And you thought he genuinely liked you too. He had been so kind to you throughout the week, you reminded yourself. Everytime you came home, roughly 15 minutes after him, he’d walk over and greet you. Ask about your day. Smile and even hug you goodnight after you two would chat for a bit. It was like clockwork, at this point.

“I don’t think this is a date. Just..him being a friendly neighbor.” You shrug, trying to sound indifferent to the news she just broke to you.

“Y/N, I hate to break it to you, but he most likely thinks it's a date. And will probably end up fucking you in that smelly, tiny bathroom in the back of the bar. He does this every time. Will fuck anything in a mini skirt.” She shrugged. “Just use protection, doll.” She winked at you and walked back to her cubicle, sighing loudly as she sat down. You try to blink away the stinging in your eyes, focusing your attention on your keyboard. You absolutely did not need to cry your first week at work. It would be almost as embarrassing as you falling for your next door neighbor in such a short span of time. 

It’s 5pm and you’re driving home, hoping you arrive before Eddie does. Luck must be on your side because you make it by 5:27, and quickly get out of your car, nearly tripping up the steps to your front door as you rush to pull out your key from your large purse. This stupid, big ass bag. You unlock your door, and shut it behind you, locking it back up. Your breathing is heavy as you let your body fall in disappointment. The sun shines through your kitchen window, illuminating the flowers he had picked out for you. They were still lively and vibrant. You made sure to change the water every couple of days to keep as so. You’re sulking as you decide to go and take a hot shower, to clear your mind. Then you hear his van roll in, music blasting from it. 

Eddie looks at your driveway to see your car parked, in a rather chaotic way. You must’ve been excited that it was Friday. Maybe you were excited to see him and wanted to share how crazy of a day you had. He hoped that was the case, since he was ecstatic to see you. On his way to work earlier today, he stopped by the record store next to the J’s Shop, and saw Alice Cooper’s new album, Hey Stoopid. He recalls you mentioning that you’d been looking for the vinyl, wanting to add it to your collection. He gathered the last few bills he had on him, and bought it for you. He figured he’d make some extra cash anyway at The Hideout before the show, selling to the usuals.

He knocks at your door, practically beaming. He’s so excited to gift you this album, knowing it would make you happy. That’s all he wants and cares about. When you don’t answer after his 4th knock, he tries a few more times. “Hm..” He ponders, and leans to the left, trying to peek into your living room window, but the curtain blocks anyone from seeing inside. “Hey, Y/N?” He calls out. He assumes you're in the bathroom when you don't answer, and decides to possibly try again later. He wouldn’t want to disturb your “you time” in there. You hear him jog back to his trailer, his chain wallet giving him away. You felt bad, but then remember what Veronica said to you earlier in the day. That was why you were avoiding him in the first place. Though, it would be impossible to do this everyday. Well, for now, you're just going to try your best to hide from him. That means, you’ll have to stand him up at The Hideout. You turn on the shower after stripping off your work clothes and stood there for what felt like hours, playing every scenario in your mind. 

Eddie is tapping his foot impatiently on his carpeted floor, his much more worn out than yours. It's close to 8:30p and you still haven't come over. And he's contemplating whether to go over to your house or not. Your lights are not on. He guesses you had a really bad day at work, and instead of bugging you, he leaves you to rest. The album can wait for tomorrow morning.

It’s bright and early, you can hear the birds chirping from your bedroom window. You rub the sleep from your eyes and groan, sitting up on your bed, looking over to look at the time. The clock read 09:47a. You better get up and make most of your Saturday as you do not plan on leaving your 4 walls tomorrow. You stretch as you stand up, and walk over to your fridge, and then jump at the loud knock. “Y/N!” a familiar voice calls out. Fuck. Ok, you need to at least confront him of his true intentions. Whether you were just another girl to him, and nothing more. You close up your robe a little as you drag your feet, letting out a shaky breath as you open the door. 

“Oh, thank god!” He breathes in relief. “ I was worried about you.” He said.

“Right..well. I’m ok. Just trying to rest up.” You said. He notices your tone is a bit more cold.

“Oh. I-I’m sorry. I just wanted to check up on you. I knocked yesterday, but didn’t see you. Did you have a bad day at work?” He said, frowning now. 

“You can say that-”

“Then I have something that will cheer you up! Close your eyes.” He grinned, practically jumping in excitement. You raise your brow, and hesitantly shut your eyes, then feel his warm hands grab yours, pulling them out in front of you. You feel a heavy-ish item now land on your hands and you immediately open your eyes. “Oh shit..” You hold the album, looking at it. It was a special edition one.

“Eddie..how’d you find this?” You say quietly, a smile growing on your face.

“Saw it at the record store. Had to get it for you.” He couldn’t be any prouder. He got you out of whatever slump you were feeling.

“Oh Eddie..I know this had to be expensive. Let me pay you back.” 

He shook those curls you were so crazy about. “Nope. I only request your presence tonight, sweetheart. Steve and Robin are dying to meet you.” He says, crossing his arms. Your gaze travels down to them, admiring the tattoos and oh. He’s caught you staring, that smirk on his face confirms that. “I-I will be there.” You nod, going against everything you said to yourself the night before. “Great! I have some errands to run, but I will see you tonight, darling.” He bows like you are his Queen, and you might as well be at this point. You giggle, and watch him go to this van, wave at you and drive off. Maybe this wasn’t a bad idea after all.

You’re standing in line at The Hideout, waiting to be let in. You assumed that you had to wait like everyone else. There weren't that many people, about 50 all together but judging by the size of the bar, it would be a full house. You dress in a low-cut top, purposely choosing one that showed a decent amount of cleavage. A cardigan rests over your arm, and you opted for black leggings, the ones that made your ass look the best. If Eddie really did intend for this to be a date, you might as well look the best you could, with what you currently had in your closet. You hear your name being called out, and you see Eddie jog over to you. He’s wearing a sleeveless DIO shirt, and leather pants, his combat boots all untied. He looks so good. You’re practically drooling.

“What are you doing here?” He incredulously asks.

“I..you invited me.” You play with your fingers, nails digging into your skin. 

“Babe, I meant in line.” He reaches out, grabbing your hand and pulls you out of the line, where all eyes then fall on you and him. You noticed a few girls eye Eddie, too. Almost like a prey. “You get backstage access, doll.” He whispers as he leanes into you, and smirks. “You’re VIP.” He holds your hand, and takes you to the back of the bar, opening the door that lead you inside. “After you.” He says, eyes falling to your ass. It looked so plump in those pants, so biteable.  

“You look beautiful, by the way.” He says, admiring the subtle make up you had on. It wasn’t much, just some mascara and eyeliner. A little foundation to hide any blemishes and imperfections. “I like this top.” He runs his fingers over the fabric near your collarbone. Your cheeks heat up, as you send him a smile, looking down all shyly. 

“Eddie!” A man calls out, and you look to your left. You assume that is Steve, and a girl walking alongside with him. Robin? 

“Hey, man. Glad you could make it. Guys, this is Y/N. Y/N…this is Steve and Robin. And as I assumed, Nancy did not make it today.”

“Or ever. You know this isn’t her scene. She’s out with Jonathan, anyway.” Steve shrugged and turned his attention towards you. “Nice to meet you. Eddie has talked non stop about you.” He smirks over at Eddie who is internally cussing him out. “Let’s go get some good seats.” Robin smiles at you, and grabs your arm, locking it with hers as she pulls you to the stage floor. 

“Ughhh Steve, why’d you say that? Now she’s going to think I’m obsessed.” Eddie rubs his face, giving him a look.

“Are you not?” Steve smirks, and crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. Eddie shook his head and bit his nails, nervously. “I like her, alot.” He admitted to Steve, eyes following you around as Robin decided which area was the best to stand at. He liked how nervous you were around him. You were the sweetest girl he’d ever known. On the opposite end, he also felt like a creep though. All the perverse thoughts he had about you. They’d come to him when he was in bed late at night, a rhythmic movement of his hand over his aching cock as he'd imagine his tongue deep in your wet, throbbing pussy, satisfying his hunger. 

“I gotta get onstage, and set up.” He says to Steve, wanting to avoid any more of Steve’s banter. He nods, then meets up with you and Robin on the stage floor. Your gaze follows Eddie onstage, where he and the rest of the band finish setting up. He winks at you, and tunes his guitar. Most of all the equipment is there, just had to be connected and set up in the proper place.

“You excited to see the show? They’re actually really good! It’s a shame they haven’t been signed by a record label yet.” Robin says. You are caged in, front row, between both Robin and Steve. “Yeah, I’m excited. I just..don’t want to get my hopes up. Feelings hurt and all.” You say softly, seeing all the people from outside being let in.

“What do you mean? Their songs are not really offensive.” Robin says.

“Well, unless you’re someone with sensitive hearing. They’re loud.” Steve snorts.

“No, I mean. I don’t want Eddie to see me as..like the other girls that he brings here?” You say, a little unsure if you are going to get your point across. Their his friends, obviously they’re going to take his side. 

Steve snorts again. “What girls?” 

“All..the girls..?” You say, feeling a bit foolish at that moment. “This chick I work with knows Eddie. Says he brings all his dates here. And uhm, has his way with them. I'm not-it's not that I'm not attracted to him. He's super handsome, but I don't want it to be that type of date. I like him and don’t want it to be a one night stand type of date..” You nervously chew on the inside of your cheek. 

Steve and Robin both start to laugh, a good belly laugh, which makes Eddie look at you three. What are they telling you about him?

“Y/N. He's NOT like that. At all. I don't know who that chick is, but Eddie is lucky if he's able to get a girl to look his way anymore.” Robin said. 

“I mean, he's had girlfriends and dates, sure. But to say he brings all the girls here like he's some ladies man, is comical.” Steve said.  “But don't tell him we said that.” He smirks. “Eddie is a great guy, Y/N. And I'm not just saying that because he's my best friend.” Steve looked up at him. “Shows starting.” He says to you, nudging your shoulder with his as the lights dim, and a loud guitar note plays. The stage area is packed with all the people from outside, and they cheer.  The band seems to have a large following, people singing along to the songs. A lot of older, trucker looking guys and scattered were lots of girls too, older and younger, like yourself. In the middle of the setlist, you see Eddie grab the mic, placing his foot on the amp as he addresses the crowd, thanking them for coming out and supporting the band. He had a little surprise for you, and hoped you listened to Alice Cooper’s previous album, Trash, because he was going to cover one of the songs on there. He figured he’d take the risk and sing Spark in the Dark.  The lyrics were quite suggestive, and maybe tonight, he’d be brave enough to make a first move. 

You immediately recognized the guitar riff to the song, a big smile forming on your face, as you were by now more relaxed and enjoying the show, just like Robin and Steve suggested.

“Ah, welcome to the party.

It’s only me and you

Tell the world to go away, babe

And I’ll tell you what to do

Come over here and kiss me

I wanna pull your hair

Turn out the lights and hold me

I wanna touch you everywhere”

You sing along, all while your face is burning from the blush that spread over your cheeks, and thankful the stage lights are not pointed directly at you. You were certain you’d combust. You also notice a familiar sensation, one that was directly between your thighs. One that needed to be taken care of. Preferably by the front man looking down at you.

“We don’t need nobody, baby

We don’t need champagne

I’ll take you to the deepest

Darkest, hottest lover’s lane

For a little spark in the dark

Just a little spark in the dark.”

You’re staring at each other as he sings the song. You’re singing along, and he’s so good up there. Your favorite rockstar. You notice his hips move a little with every enunciation during the chorus. He grabs the mic stand, placing the mic on it as the guitar rests over his hips, hiding the semi he’s rocking right now thanks to the song’s lyrics and the perfect view he has of your cleavage. 

“I’ll come ‘round midnight

We’ll be crawling on the floor

Burnin’ with a fever

And yellin’ out for more

But don’t you write in your diary, baby

Don’t blab it on the phone

‘Cause if your dad and mom find out, 

They’ll skin me to the bone.

We don’t need instructions, baby

Don’t you be afraid

It takes a little friction, uh-uh

That’s how our love is made 

For a little spark in the dark.”

You want to melt into a puddle once the song is finished, noticing the sweat that glistens his skin, still sporting that sleeveless tank top. He sings a few more covers, and once the show is over, he bows to everyone, then directly tosses you a guitar pick. You’re giddy, as you’re bouncing on your tippy toes, holding it between your fingers.

“Look at the fangirl, now.” Robin smirks, clapping as the band gets off stage. “We get backstage privileges, being long time friends of the band and all.” She laughs, walking to the back of the bar, noticing the crowd had spread out between leaving for the night, and others to sit at the bar. You follow Robin and Steve, until you reach a room that almost looked like a utility room with all the amps.”Hey!” Eddie says, wiping the sweat off with a small towel. He looks directly at you, as if Robin and Steve aren’t even in the room. “That was amazing! And…the cover was really good, too.” You blush and try not to be too obvious as your eyes scan his body. His shirt is all damp from his sweat, shirt stuck to his body. You could make out his toned stomach. 

“I’d give you a thank you hug, but I smell. And I’m all sweaty.” He chuckles, noticing you shifting a little, your thighs pressing together. He gives you a little knowing smirk, and pulls out a cigarette, but Robin is quick to snatch it.

“No smoking. Especially not around your date.” Robin speaks out.

“You’re right. Bad habit, and manners. Sorry. sweetheart.” He cheekily smiles and puts away the pack of cigarettes.

“We gotta get going, but we’ll see you later, Eds. Come on Steve. Remember…we had that thing we had to do..” Robin says, pulling him on his arm. “OH right! That thing. Yes. Alright, you two have a good and eventful night. Nice meeting you, Y/N! We look forward to seeing you again real soon!!” Steve says as both him and Robin go running out. You let out a soft laugh then look over at Eddie, who is looking at you, not once did his sight move away from you.

“Can we..talk?” You say to him. 

Oh fuck, did he do something wrong? Was it the way he was looking at you? Shit. 

“Of course. We can step outside. It’s hot as fuck in here.” He says and you both walk out into the back of the bar, the loud slam of the door shutting making you jump. Eddie is nervous now. He’s sure you’re about to break the news to him that you don’t want anything to do with him. Maybe you found out of his late night activities, but that wouldn’t make any sense. He was sure you partake in those kinds of solo activities. Maybe you believed he was truly a devil worshipper. How can he convince you otherwise?

“I uhm, almost didn’t come tonight.” You start. 

This makes his chest feel heavy. He’d done something, surely. 

“How come?” His voice is small.

“I was stupid. I believed something someone at my job said about you.” Your stare is focused on the littered and dirty floor, not wanting to meet his eyes. You felt ashamed.

“What’d they say about me?” 

“I-I don’t-”

“What’d they say about me, Y/N? I assure you..I’ve heard it all. I’m used to it at this point in my life.” He says, his tone was a bit more irate and cold than what you were used to him being with you. Your eyes took no time in watering, and now Eddie was ready to throw himself off a cliff for making you feel this way.    He really fucked this up already, as he always does. Good job, Munson.

“She said that…you basically slept around. That you take them here on dates, and..and take them to that nasty bathroom for a quick fuck. Eddie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have believed something like that. I just, I got scared to have my feelings and emotions played with. I didn’t want to be just another girl added to your roster.” You try to keep your composure as you talk to him, your eyes are for sure still watery, but by some miracle, you didn’t stutter. “If I’m being honest, I don’t have much experience with this. Like, yeah. I’ve done a few dates and all, but I've never had a boyfriend or had anyone touch me, or-”

“Sweetheart, it's ok.” Eddie takes a step forward and grabs both your shaky hands, holding them in his, practically engulfing them. “Look at me.” His voice is low, and he places a finger under your chin, tipping your head up. “I promise you, I am not that type of person. People will say a million things about me, and I can guarantee that most of them are just rumors. I certainly do not sleep around. I can't remember the last time I had a legitimate date with someone, let alone fuck someone.” He risked making himself look a loser just to make you feel better. His hand goes up to your cheek, and caresses it, letting out a chuckle. “Baby, there's no one I desire more than you…and I want to kiss you so bad.” He whispers, taking another step forward, his scent invading you. “Give me a chance to prove to you..I'm not like whatever these stupid fucks said about me.” His lips are impossibly close to yours, making your breath hitch at the close proximity. “Kiss me.” His voice is raspy. You embrace each other, your lips pressing together as the kiss deepens slowly. It was the first time you've experienced a true, deep kiss. You were sure he could tell. You opened your mouth, letting his hot tongue in to glide along yours and the quiet whine you let out makes him want to take you right there and then. You were inexperienced, yes, but quickly learned to breathe through your nose and move your mouth with his. Eddie's hand rested on your hips, and the other was around the nape of your neck, pulling you against him even closer, wanting to hear those  whines again. 

“Alright, get a room, you two.” Gareth groaned, hauling the large amp into the van that was a few feet away from you both. You blush heavily as you both simultaneously pull away from each other. “We will continue this at your place? I got to finish helping the guys..” Eddie breathed heavy, a similar rosy shade painted over his cheeks. 

“Yes, I'll leave my door unlocked. You can just come in..” 

“Hm, sweetheart. I don't think that's a good idea. What if the big, bad wolf gets in? And wants to eat yah?” Eddie smirks. 

“I certainly count on it.”

[steddiehyperfixation]

silly little thing for my @steddiebingo prompt: nerds | 758 words | T |

"Hey, maybe he can help," Robin says, sweeping a hand towards Dustin who's just walked into Family Video for his regularly scheduled afterschool bug Steve and Robin time, interrupting their conversation.

"Oh come on." Steve shakes his head. "The kid doesn't want to hear about my trash heap of a love life."

"Oh, no, I absolutely want to hear about that." Dustin perks up at the opportunity to learn about Steve's trivial suffering.

"We're trying to figure out why Steve goes on a million dates but can't seem to find someone he actually likes," Robin fills Dustin in. "Tell him, Steve."

Steve groans, dragging his hands over his face before splaying them out sarcastically, as that's the only thing he can really do in protest right now. Dustin's looking at him expectantly, and Steve has no choice but to tell the kid all about Linda and Heidi and Brenda and Lucy and whoever else he's been out with recently, doing his best to answer any subsequent questions as PG as possible.

"Well of course you haven't found the one yet, you keep trying to date a bunch of normal, basic, girly girls. That's not your type," Dustin informs him once Steve's done talking.

Steve raises his eyebrows. "Oh, it isn't?"

"You can't really be that stupid, can you?"

"No, please, Henderson, enlighten me on what you think my type is."

"You're into nerds," he says like it's completely obvious.

Steve scoffs. "I am not into nerds. You know, just because I hang around you little weirdos all the time does not actually mean I want to hang around even more weirdos in all the other aspects of my life too."

"Seriously, Steve, think about it," Dustin argues. "Think of all the girls you've actually been really genuinely into in your life. They've all been nerds! Nancy-"

"- is not a nerd."

"She's a straight-A student and a journalism super geek. She's a nerd."

Steve rolls his eyes and sighs grudgingly. "Alright, fine, but-"

"And you were into Robin-"

Robin wrinkles her nose. "Ugh, don't remind me."

"-who you can't deny is definitely a nerd," Dustin continues.

"You know what, actually, he does have a point," Robin says.

Steve looks at her in betrayal. "Don't encourage him!"

"That girl you told me about that you liked in middle school who was super into Star Trek, and the other one who wanted to write a fantasy novel one day- oh and the elementary school crush who was always reading a new book every day..." Robin lists, ticking each one off on her fingers.

"I told you all that in confidence!"

"They were all nerds!"

"Exactly." Dustin grins, vindicated and insufferably smug. "Ergo, you, Steve Harrington, need to find yourself a nerd."

"I am not into nerds!" Steve protests hopelessly.

"What more proof do you need?" Dustin says. "You're into nerds."

"Totally into nerds," Robin concurs.

Steve huffs and throws up his hands. "Fine! I'll admit I'm into nerds if it will make you two shut up about it!"

Eddie happens to wander into the previously empty store at that exact moment, catching the tail end of the conversation as he approaches the counter. "What's all this about nerds?"

Steve freezes, glances Eddie over and stares at him strangely for a few long seconds. "Holy shit," he mutters.

His gaze cuts to Robin, whose eyes go wide when she meets his look. "Holy shit," she agrees.

"Oh my god."

"Oh my god."

"Dude."

"Dude!"

Eddie blinks at them. "Are you two having some sort of joint stroke or something?" He looks at Dustin as if the kid might have a better clue of what's going on. "Can you understand them?"

Dustin shrugs, equally mystified. "Don't look at me, man. They're weird."

The incomprehensible parroting conversation is still going on.

"Okay," Steve's saying, taking a deep breath in through his nose and exhaling determinedly.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay." Robin grins and shoves at his shoulder.

Steve finally turns back around and leans on the counter in front of Eddie with a classically charming smile. "So, Eddie, are you free on Saturday?"

Eddie smiles back despite his confusion. "Yeah-"

"Oh my god!" Dustin bursts out suddenly.

"Oh my god," Robin agrees with a knowing smirk.

Eddie glances at Dustin. "Oh no, not you too."

Steve exhales a long-suffering sigh and pushes himself off the counter, marching around to grab Eddie by the hand and drag him away from Dustin and Robin. "So. Saturday?"

"He's into nerds," Dustin whispers, wide-eyed.

Robin nods sagely. "He's into nerds."

[driptillyoudrop]

You are not awake

I've recently come across some literature that indicates people have trouble discerning when they fall asleep.

Individuals given a polysomnogram (a sleep study) couldn't pinpoint the moment they fell asleep during the test, and they often believed themselves to be awake when they were, in fact, sleeping. The test monitors brainwave activity, among many other things, making the moment of "falling" asleep extremely clear...at least for the person administering the test. The person being tested, sleeping, typically finds things to be much more blurry and uncertain.

This isn't much of a surprise to me (or hypnotists in general), since subjects often believe themselves to be quite awake when they first drop into trance. Much like falling asleep, without careful monitoring, the line between wakefulness and trance can be quite blurry. The mind is intriguing like that.

To be fair, though, the indicators of trance aren't always supremely obvious. The moment you slip into trance is often subtle and silent, much like when you enter another state of consciousness while reading or listening to music, driving, dancing. You've been following my words for a bit now, and it probably hasn't yet occurred to you that you are not awake.

You are not awake.

Do you believe me? Consider it; how do you really know when you're falling into trance? It's a bit different for everyone - and you may have learned your own indicators - but how precise can you be? Most of the time, you are told when it happens, or you tell yourself. Sometimes you are counted down to 0, told to sleep, instructed to relax deeply...but these are suggestions to get your conscious caught up to things that are already happening. The drop could have happened at any time, should you be sufficiently distracted. That is rather the point, after all.

You have been focused on my words this entire time, distracted by them. You find it easier to focus now than when you started. Your breathing has slowed, your body has started to relax, and you've been tuning out the rest of the world bit by bit. You remain at least partially aware of your surroundings because you haven't yet been instructed otherwise - there is no need. If you like, you can remain fully aware of your surroundings.

You are not awake, and you haven't been since you started to follow. Part of your mind may have begun to analyze this notion when I first told you, but you aren't going to let it jar you awake. A much stronger part of you knows, intuitively, that I am telling the truth. You came here to submit; it's no surprise that you have.

The part of you silencing the analysis and doubt is excited by the idea that you can feel fully aware and alert while sinking deep into a trance. You can surrender to my suggestions without showing any outward signs that you are enthralled. Only you will know.

You are not awake.

Think to yourself that "it is important to follow and obey. I am really not awake, am I?"

Feel a rush of pleasure simply from doing as you were told. Feel another rush as you realize that despite feeling aware, you are not in control anymore. It feels good to obey. It feels good to let your thoughts give way to my words. You'll continue to obey.

I like to call this a waking trance, despite the fact that you are not "awake." It is very easy to slip in and out of this state when you follow my words. Easy enough that each time you read, "you are not awake," you let yourself slip under my control. You can bring yourself up, then read again and slip back down. Give it a try.

You are not awake.

Feel your hands freeze in place for a moment. Count to ten in your head, nice and slow, and feel the pleasure of obeying along with the bliss of submission. When you reach ten, your hands will return to normal.

If you're feeling particularly brave, you could even follow and obey like this in a public place. Don't worry, you'll be rewarded for following my words whether you submit in public or private. I won't push you into uncomfortable situations.

You'll follow my words through the next sections, and choose your own surrender depending on your preference and circumstances. When you've chosen, you'll be compelled to read again, more slowly to feel a more potent effect.

You are not awake.

Should you choose to surrender to this waking trance in a public place, you'll find yourself compelled to softly mouth or think to yourself "I am not awake. I feel awake, but I am not awake. I am in trance. I am obedient." As you do this, you'll feel a stronger sensation of pleasure and content pass through you. Repeat those phrases to yourself a few more times while maintaining awareness of your surroundings, and continue to learn how easy it is to slip in and out of waking trance simply by focusing on my words. You'll find yourself drawn back to that phrase when you're next in private.

If you are comfortable and would like to intensify that satisfaction from obedience, you'll leave a comment about your experience in waking trance, especially if you chose to try it in public. It is important to follow and obey.

You are not awake.

Like I said, you won't feel obligated to try waking trance in public, unless you are naturally drawn to the thought.

I understand, there is always the allure of the comfort and privacy of home. Trance, even waking trance, can be a very intimate thing.

Should you choose to surrender to this waking trance in private, you'll find yourself unable to resist chanting quietly, "I am not awake. I feel awake, but I am not awake. I am in trance. I am obedient." While the pleasure reward for doing as you were told flows through your mind and body, you will spread your legs and touch yourself for me.

As the chant continues, you'll feel your eyes glaze over as you stare helplessly at the screen. You'll find that you have no control of your own pace, drifting steadily deeper. In private, you'll find it very easy to slip into waking trance, but nowhere near so easy to slip out of it. I'm sure you won't think to mind. It is important to follow and obey. Stroke yourself to orgasm for me as you realize how enthralled you are by my words.

You are not awake. Like, reblog and dm me…

In either scenario, you'll wake shortly after, feeling surprisingly refreshed...and perhaps a bit mischievous.

[askagamedev]

On premium non-lifestyle games: As a success metric for the developer/publisher, how much does playing a game matter compared to purchasing it? If I like a game's premise and decide to buy it, but have no intention to play it any time soon, is my purchase less valuable to them?

In terms of value, a player who buys the game but doesn't play it much is slightly less valuable to the publisher than a player who plays a lot.

The most valuable players are the evangelists, the hard core players who will engage with the community, make content about the game, and serve as volunteer brand ambassadors to the community at large. These are our cosplayers, fan artists, bloggers, youtubers, fan fic authors, and so on. These people not only play the game, but also help encourage others to play the game as well. These players go to conventions and events. This cohort typically comprises less than 1% of all players.

Most regular players fall in the second group, the engaged players. These are players who will play the game regularly, maybe they'll read the patch notes as they drop or engage with new content that appears. Some of them will buy merch. They're the ones who play regularly and keep coming back. They're the primary consumers of the post-launch content. We usually see around 20-40% of players fall into this category.

A good 60-70% or so of players will buy a premium game and quit before finishing it, let alone engaging with post-launch content. We value these players for their contribution, but they don't really factor too much into our post-launch content plans since they have clearly fallen off of the game. We primarily think about how we can convert more of these players to engaged players in future game releases, as well as what these players did engage with in the game and how we might lean more into that. You probably fall into this category.

At the very bottom of this list are the gamers who haven't played the game and comment on social media. We consider how we might sell a future game to them, but they have basically zero effect on our plans for content and very little for sequels because they have no investment in the game other than talking about it.

[Join us on Discord] and/or [Support us on Patreon]

Got a burning question you want answered?

Short questions: Ask a Game Dev on Twitter

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Frequent Questions: The FAQ

[drdemonprince]

I should probably preface this by saying that this is a genuine question, not an attempt to "own" anyone, not a troll, etc. I'm genuinely curious and interested: Has there been any good scientific studies done on the question "Does having a kink about a 'problematic' subject, reading about it, fantazising about it, roleplaying it, etc., make a person more or less likely to do that problematic thing in real life?" Do you know of any good research papers or articles on the subject? Maybe it's a whole field of study?

I feel like if I ever (god help me) would have to defend a position of "other people's kinks, no matter how disgusted they might make me feel personally, are none of my business" to someone, it would be useful to have some kind empirical science to point towards.

Again, I'm not trying to be a jerk saying "source, please?", I'm genuinely interested in reading about it.

So a good place to start here is in thinking about how this kind of topic gets data collected about it. So if you're wondering about the relationship between, for example, fantasizing about bestiality and actually abusing animals, your primary way of being able to study actual, real-world behavioral outcomes would be to identify a source of data on acts of bestiality...which would almost exclusively come from the police state. If you really wanted to study who actually does commit these acts and what their history was, you'd have to look at people who were convicted for having committed animal abuse of a sexual nature.

The problem is, that data isn't necessarily representative of what abuse actually occurs and how often. The police aren't trustworthy, the carceral justice system is profoundly unjust, not every person gets investigated or tried fairly, and even if all those systems DID operate justly and fairly, you'd still be missing all the people who never got caught. And we know that since these systems are racist, classist, ableist, etc, that they are not 'catching' real offenders from all groups equally. Poor & Black people who have committed these acts are most likely to get caught, rich & white ones least likely. And so the data is skewed.

This is FURTHER complicated by the fact that even if you do look at this data, you are only seeing the people who *have* harmed animals sexually, not the people that haven't, and so that is going to be susceptible to confirmation bias of your prior assumptions and not be representative of the whole population if you use it to draw conclusions. So, for instance, if you look at the porn habits of every person who has been convicted for bestiality, you will probably find a lot of bestiality porn (both fantasy and real) in their histories. Okay, not surprising... but of the average people watching this porn, how many actually go on to offend and how many don't? We have no way of knowing. And because such an activity is so stigmatized (and in the case of real porn, itself illegal), you're going to not be able to get self-report surveys from the general population on this.

If you did try to give out surveys on this kind of stuff, you might be forced to report any of your respondents who did admit to doing something illegal. It wouldn't really pass most ethics boards to do this research at all.

So you can see why this is such a shadowy field of discussion. The thing to keep in mind is that the number of people who do get arrested for things like bestiality, child sexual abuse (especially the kind that is driven by an attraction to children rather than your garden variety case of a parent abusing their power over their kids in multiple ways, including sexual, but the sex is incidental), etc are very small. These are vanishingly uncommon crimes. and we can't really trust the police state to give us reputable information on this. and it is very hard for scientists to study well, and most who study it do approach it in a pretty sensationalistic way.

So, to answer your question, yes you can hop onto google scholar and dig around for studies on 'paraphilias' and their relationship to criminal offenses, but most of it is going to be profiles of people locked in mental health institutions and jails that SOUNDS super scary and fucking disgusting but is not a good reflection of whatever the hell is going on in the actual world. I think it's evident that a hell of a lot more people are fantasizing about this stuff than are offenders. Especially if we are drawing a distinction between fantasy and porn that depicts actual abuse. The people drawing dogs fucking on like deviant art or whatever probably do not pose any actual threat to real animals 99.99% of the time.

And if and when a person with a desire to DOES harm animals, it is because of the legal construction of animals as property that it is possible for them to do so. once again power is the root of the crime. more than a 'paraphilia' making someone like, evil. a lot of this stuff is values based and a philosophical case about how the world works rather than a specific statistical claim. but the number of real offenses that happen are so vanishingly thin that we could barely empirically study them anyway -- it's too small a sample size, and there is no ability to locate comparison groups of non-offenders who share these kinks.

I hope this helps answer your question. Obviously I am using bestiality as one example here but you could apply this to CNC and rape porn, child abuse and age play porn, etc etc.

[callixpene]

L&DS Future Lifetime Series - PART 2: FIFTH CONVERGENCE

Note: Starting from Part 2, some or all of the Love Interest's perspectives will be meshed together.

MASTERLIST for Part 1 is here(In case you haven't read it): ALL LIs - PART 1: WE MEET AGAIN

The previous part to this fic is here: XAVIER & SYLUS POV - PART 2: FOURTH CONVERGENCE

ALL LIs POV - FIFTH CONVERGENCE

Xavier X OC. Zayne X OC. Rafayel X OC. Sylus X OC. Caleb X OC.

Set in Future Timeline. All Love Interests have no memories of their past lives. All of the MCs(5 Sisters) all have memories of their past lives. Very persistent LIs. Avoidant MCs. Love at first sight. Soulmates.

Genre: Fluff, Some Angst

Why did I have to wait here, with this guy of all people?

Xavier thought as stared daggers at Sylus, who was sitting across from him on the lounge.

"What's the matter, Your Highness?" Sylus replied, sardonically. "If you don't want to be in my presence, then why don't you just leave?"

Xavier felt as if the veins within his forehead were pulsing. The audacity of this bastard knows no bounds.

"I can't leave until I get Celeste's contact. I'm waiting for the secretary to come back with the details. After that, you can rot here for all care." He replied through gritted teeth.

He couldn't leave without the means to reach out to Celeste. It would make this challenge so much easier if he had the means to call her whenever need be.

The secretary had told him that he needed multiple clearances signed before he could release the information he was requesting.

"Well then, you and I are on the same boat then." Sylus said.

All of Nexus' data was heavily safeguarded. The contact details of key employees and members of the board were not know to the public.

If getting the details of mere employees was hard enough, how much more difficult would it be to attain the contacts of Steven Kingsley's very own daughters?

Luckily Xavier, as crown prince of Philos, had enough power and authority to request this information.

"Until we both get what we want, you're stuck with me." Sylus' tone was conceited.

Well, everything about him was tremendously conceited. Xavier thought. The poor girl he sought out for. Xavier pondered how she was going to deal with his cocky demeanor.

Then, Xavier suddenly recalled that Onychinus was one of Nexus's partners. This meant Sylus had the power and authority to make demands as well.

He was likely waiting for the contact of Celeste's sister, who Xavier forgot the name of, from the secretary as well.

That meant he was stuck here until with Sylus until then.

Why was the secretary taking so damn long?

"Ugh, excuse me?"

*****

Sylus turned his head towards where the voice came from.

In front of him and Xavier were three men. The ones who Mr. Kingsley called to his office earlier for making a ruckus at the lobby.

"Hello! I'm Caleb. This is Zayne and....Rafayel I think?" The brown haired man gestured towards himself and the others beside him. "Mr. Kingsley said he gave both of you a challenge? Well, he said we needed to go through the same challange as well. Mind letting us know what it is?"

Xavier abruptly stood up from his seat, immediately in high alert, but before he could say anything, Sylus interjected:

"This is certainly interesting." He started, then smirked at all of them. "It truly is such a big coincidence."

"What are you taking about?" Xavier replied, incredulously. "If they had been given the same challenge as us, then that can only mean they're our rivals for-". Xavier was cut off by Sylus' chuckling.

"Your Highness, if any of them were my rivals then I would've taken them down the moment they left Kingsley's office." Sylus replied, and Xavier looked confused.

Nyx was his woman. No one else was allowed to pursue her.

Sylus continued: "As I was saying, it truly is such a coincidence. Each of these men are after a different daughter. Which means, each of Kingsley's daughters has her own suitor, seeking her affection. In fact, I'm starting to think that perhaps, Kingsley might've done this on purpose. Cherry-picking the potential partners for his children. He probably just didn't expect we would all show up at the same time."

"How did you know all this?". Xavier asked him, brow raised.

Sylus pointed toward his left ear, where he had an earpiece. "My mechanical crow, Mephisto, is currently stationed outside Kingsley's office. The man should really close his window. I heard their entire conversation."

Although, Kingsley might have left that window open on purpose, he suspected.

But how would this benefit him, exactly?

The prince sat back down. Looks like he calmed down after being assured than none of these men were after his lady after all.

Sylus crossed his legs and rested his chin on his palm.

How will this turn out now that all of them were here? He thought.

This might be entertaining.

*****

Rafayel had no idea what was going on.

However, these two men sitting down definitely had way better fashion sense than the two right beside him, he thought.

"Look. We just want to know what was the challenge Mr. Kingsley gave you. Can you just tell us?" Rafayel asked impatiently. He wanted to get this over with as quick as he can, so could start planning on how he would pursue Nerissa.

He heard someone clear their throat from beside him.

It was the doctor. Zayne.

"My apologies for his rudeness." Zayne politely said, making Rafayel huff in annoyance. "Please tell us the challenge we need to complete. Judging by the conversation you two were having earlier, it's fortunate that none of us are after the same daughter. So it won't do you any harm if you told us what we needed to do."

"Hmph." The white haired man huffed. It seems he had no interest in responding. This was not his problem to deal with after all.

The blonde man on the other hand, smiled slightly.

It appeared as if he was not getting along with his companion at all, and he seemed glad that he finally had someone courteous he could talk to.

"The challenge Mr. Kingsley gave us is this." He started.

*****

"We each have thirty days. Within that timeframe, you're going to have to convince the daughter you're after, to marry you. Of her own free will, of course. To show that you've successfully completed this challenge, she has to be wearing an engagement ring before all the days run out." The blonde haired man said.

"I see." Zayne said. "Is that all?"

The blonde's face turned grim. "There is. If you fail this challenge, if there is no ring....then Mr. Kingsley will never allow you to see his daughter ever again."

Zayne's heart dropped.

So this was it, huh? He only had thirty days to convince Jasmine to marry him.

And he wanted to marry her, desperately, in fact, but that was not the problem.

The problem was, how was he going to convince her to marry him, when they've only met once, and she seemed to be avoidant of him to some extent?

And if he were to fail, he would never be allowed to see her again?

That would be hell on earth for him.

Caleb was frozen from beside him. It seems he felt that the repercussions of failing this challenge was incredibly harsh as well.

"What?! Thirty days? How am I going to get Nerissa to marry me in thirty days, if she actively refuses to see me?" Rafayel exclaimed from beside him, panicking.

Then, someone's phone buzzed swiftly. It was Caleb's. When took his phone out to check the message sent to him, a grin made its way to his face.

"You guys might want to look at this."

They all immediately turned to him.

*****

Being the private pilot of the Kingsley family was coming in clutch, Caleb thought.

He put his phone on the lounge table for all of them to see.

It was a message from the airport's General Manager.

The message read:

"Captain Caleb. Nexus will be having a Business Party at the Kingsley family's private island in two days. It will be to celebrate the release of Nexus' new line of Protocore-powered appliances. You are to fly Mr. Kingsley and his daughters to the island on the day before the event and you are to take them home after it is over. The virtual port pass and your accommodation details have been sent to your email. Please use your employee number to unlock them. Kindly reply once you have read this message. Thank you."

"You have a port pass!" Rafayel exclaimed.

The white haired man in all black looked irritated as he checked his phone. "I didn't receive any notifications, looks like I'm not invited." He seemed rather offended.

Then, the blonde man sitting across from him started chuckling.

"Looks like I wasn't invited as well." He said, as he looked at his phone. "But that doesn't matter. My best assistant happens to have a knack for creating false identities and getting them on the guest list of high-profile events." The blonde looked at Caleb. "My name's Xavier, what was yours again?"

"Caleb."

"Caleb. Good to meet you. Looks like you've a port pass, but you don't have a pass to the actual event. I have a proposition. Give me a copy of that port pass, don't worry, I'll get someone to fix it up on my end so security won't be able to detect that its yours when I use it. Then, I'll get my assistant to arrange a fake identity for you too, so you can attend the party. You might be flying your girl to the island, but you wouldnt be able to approach her with Mr. Kingsley there in the plane, right? Don't you think this is a fair trade?"

It was great trade. Amazing, really.

Caleb would get to speak with Lilian, alone, if he was at the party. He could carry out his plan: befriend her first, then when their bond strengthened, it would be easier to romance her.

He shook Xavier's hand.

"You got yourself a deal."

*****

"That's no fair!" Rafayel said. "You two are settled. But what about the rest of us?"

"I might have just the thing". They all turned their heads to the white haired man.

"My name is Sylus, by the way." He said.

"You" Sylus pointed at Rafayel. "And you." he pointed at Zayne. You're a painter, and you're a doctor, right?

They both nodded.

"Well, lucky you. In most of Nexus' events, they usually hire art curators for some of the fancy decor and a medical team in case of emergencies. I heard what Kingsley said about the both of you. Rafayel and Zayne, was it? You're both world-renowned in your respective fields." He said. "I wasn't invited to the event. Nexus and I might have a partnership, but no partner of Nexus has access to all its events. Unless of course, you had something to offer that's too good to pass up. All you two need to do is back me up, I'm going to make a sponsorship offer to Nexus' event organizers: In exchange for my own VIP access to the event, I'll bring you two in as the art curator, and the head of the medical team, and with your credentials, they wouldn't be able to refuse us. Trust me. What do you say?"

Rafayel was astonished.

Now THIS was a plan.

"Not bad, man." Rafayel smirked, impressed. "I'm all in."

Zayne nodded from beside him. "I'm in as well."

*****

It's all set, Sylus thought.

Xavier would enter the island using a re-coded version of Caleb's port pass. Then, they'll enter the party using the fake identities Xavier's assistant prepared for them.

Meanwhile, Sylus was to bring Rafayel and Zayne into the event by sponsoring their offered services to Nexus' event planners, while he gets VIP access in exchange for the sponsorship.

"Hey guys." It was Caleb who spoke. "Since we're all in the same boat here, I want to wish you all luck. Hope we all complete this challenge Mr. Kingsley put us up too."

Sylus scoffed. "I don't need luck. I know I'll succeed."

Xavier rolled his eyes. "With that attitude, I have no doubt that the girl you're after is going to ghost you after you've had one conversation with her."

Sylus immediately stood up and lunged at Xavier.

Before they brawled right there and then at the lobby, Rafayel held back Xavier and Caleb held back Sylus.

Zayne stood in the middle of them to mediate.

*****

Despite all the chaos, and sound of footsteps reverberating in the lobby from security guards rushing in to stop this fight from escalating, and to drag them all out, Caleb inwardly smiled.

Something was telling him that they were all going to get along incredibly well.

I want to thank everyone who has been reading this series🥹

Part 3 might take a while, but It will be uploaded in the Masterlist(my pinned post) once available.

Tell me your thoughts in the comments what you think of this series so far🫶

💜🩵🩷❤️🧡

[unknowns-musical]

Silver Bullet! Okay, I'm gonna admit I really pushed the design to be different here compared to the original. I wanted her to have a kind of sheriff/cowgirl look. The first thing I could think of when thinking of bullets was cowboys. Also, I haven't really seen any clips of Silver or Blue for tomorrows post so it's just all head cannons that will be updated later on.

Let's get started, now if you read the first post you'll see that I said that Eagle was seen as the leader of the groups. He thinks of himself as the leader with how he acts too. But in reality Silver here is the leader. Taking on the brunt of the actual responsibility, and making sure the team isn't trying to kill each other... Again.

Arrow has a rivalry with Silver wanting to prove he's a better shot with a bow than she is with a gun. They're tied, and he can't live with that while she just doesn't care. If the competition keeps him out of trouble so be it.

Silver if also the quietest of the group, only speaking up when they need to. If she can help it though, she'll do whatever needs done in peace and quiet.

She gets on best with the Coaches, maybe it's because they're also girls, maybe it's because they kinda feel safe around her. Who knows, but if she likes you you'll know it. She acts like a cat spending time around you. If she doesn't like you for whatever reason... She'll shoot near you as a warning... Don't test her.

[lottes-little-place]

Hey everyone🙂 Long personal post incoming!

I can't believe it has been over a year since I last made some custom content. I wanted to post something at the end of 2024 but it felt a little stupid to do a 2024 Tumblr Top 10 post without even having 10 posts in total (I think?), so I did not. I felt very burned out and just generally bad the whole of last year (which means worse than usual) and lost all interest in Sims because of the stress it gave me. It's still a little weird to make a post like this because technically I didn't go anywhere, I'm still lurking here a few days a week liking posts. I just didn't feel like interacting or doing anything Sims related.

I find it also very difficult to see everyone's beautiful lots and amazing custom content and feeling like my stuff or lots or anything I make will never be good enough or pretty enough and that made me lose interest in everything as well. My lots are simple boxes and I feel envious and sad because I want to have pretty houses for my sims as well. Every time I have a good idea for custom content it turns out to be to difficult, someone else does it better or I find my execution not good enough. It always looks so easy to see other people being succesful doesn't it? Why can't I build like that? Why are all my textures always blurrier? How do people even begin to understand how to make certain things? I'm always struggling so much to make simple recolors and I'm barely ever satisfied about the result.

I have learned a lot over the few years now but I still feel like a beginner. Every time I open SimPe I have to check every little thing again because I still make simple mistakes and don't even start about retexturing things in Photoshop process because I'm honestly just winging it. Every retexture costs me hours or even days of stress and uploading is just as stressful. What if I uploaded the wrong files? What if people look at it and think it's badly done? Couldn't I have done better? I see every little flaw and I know most people won't but it still stresses me out. I wish I could care less about things like that. I tried to avoid uploading in the evening because sometimes I couldn't sleep of the stress and the fear that something in the download was wrong.

I just wanted to get these things off my chest. Maybe some of you will read this and recognize themselves or maybe don't feel stupid if they don't understand retexturing things either because honestly it really is painstakingly difficult unless maybe you are a graphic designer or artisticly talented. Most people are just hobbyists and probably have as little understanding of this all as myself. At least that is what I try to tell myself to feel better about my stuff.

Thank you if you have read all of this and if you haven't that's okay too, we come here to relax and to shop custom content and that's okay.

Of course now I'm going to proofread this post because my anxiety will kill me if I make any spelling error and people see it. (I've changed SimPE to SimPe! How could I let this get through😤.)

To end in a happier note, I actually felt like making custom content this week and I actually finished it too so I will probably make a post and upload it tomorrow or later this week. (Spoiler; it's two book recolors for the Billy! I'm always too excited, I can't keep secrets😁)

[casscainmainly]

What do you think of how WFA is currently using Duke so far? On the one hand bringing in We are Robin is good but on the other hand I feel like it they still are sidelining him. He's still benched and sure they brought in We are Robin but it felt like they were more used for Damian and his story, and they had Duke set up this support system but we've seen others like Steph doing more with it and really interacting with it. I feel like them say introducing We Are Robin but like making interact more with Damian and be there for his story is like "see we read Duke, now here's the other characters we really want to focus"

I've fallen behind on WFA for a few weeks so I just caught up! And. Yeah. I have thoughts. (Also again disclaimer I don't have FastPass so this is based on the free eps as of now).

In August last year I did an analysis of Duke Thomas in WFA, where I outlined my gripes. Then, in December, I praised the We Are Robin-centric episode. Right after, I wrote about how the next episode was making me a little wary but I was still optimistic.

Just outlining this to demonstrate that my feelings on WFA bounce back and forth a lot, but I do think it can do better and it has done better. So I'm gonna read on (because it's the only consistent place for Duke content, and because I like the Batgirls in it enough), but long story short: I'm pissed.

(Putting a rant under the cut; if you're enjoying S3 of WFA, I'm genuinely happy for you! I'm going to take a more negative stance than usual though so don't read if you don't want to hear that stuff).

Okay first of all the benching. All the way back in August I complained about Duke being benched, in a season that started with his kidnapping and revolves around the Joker. At the time I was hopeful he'd be unbenched, but it's been 34 eps and he's STILL BENCHED!! Even if he's unbenched in the FastPass eps I don't have, it's still ridiculous that he was out of the field for that long.

What happened when canon Duke got injured I wonder??

Oh yeah, in the Cursed Wheel he SNUCK OUT!!! Because he has agency!!!! What's frustrating about benching Duke for the entirety of S3 so far is that Duke, at his core, is a character of action. From his very first appearance in Zero Year, he's defined by an absurd amount of agency, wanting to fight the Riddler (then finding his parents, then joining WAR, then becoming Signal). A Duke that sits by for THIRTY FOUR EPISODES is NOT DUKE THOMAS!!!

But he's broken his arm, right? It makes sense for him to be benched?? Well first of all it was WFA's CHOICE to break his arm, a choice I do not think added anything to Duke's character or to Bruce's paranoia (which was clearly the entire point of Duke's kidnapping in the first place). Secondly, another character was injured in a fight with the Joker and benched. Another character who REJOINED THE FIELD IN 16 EPISODES!!!!

Dick gets injured in #130 and goes back out in #146. That is under half of how many episodes Duke's been benched for, AND Dick got injured in a fight against Joker. Duke didn't even get to fight!!! He didn't get to do anything!!! Dick's injury was also stupid, but the way WFA handled his benching versus Duke's is worlds apart, and shows to me how much less they respect Duke than the others.

Also can I just say how gross it was to use Duke's kidnapping merely to kickstart the plot? An astonishing 14 episodes pass before we get any mention of how Duke feels (in #132, he says he has nightmares). Then another 11 eps pass before we get to him talking to Lucius + calling WAR. That nightmares thing is never followed up on either! In #124 and #132, Duke's dialogue functions to further the plot or other characters - in #124, Duke justifies the others going out, and in #132, he helps Bruce through his feelings. Even when the episodes are about him, they are not about him!!! I genuinely think only 2 eps out of this entire season haven't used Duke as a prop for someone else.

I'm going to briefly detour to discuss #132 because I loathe that episode. In Homebound, Bruce visits Duke and they play Battleship (it was cute. fine. whatever). And then Bruce offers to hear Duke out on how he feels. Smash cut to:

ARE YOU SERIOUS??? We spent more than 3 episodes on Jason's PTSD, but we couldn't even spend a single panel on Duke talking about his own trauma???? Whether or not you liked the Jason bits this season, he had a moment. Babs also has her moment, and a whole ep is spent with just her and her dad. Duke, of the 3 Bats that have the biggest associations with the Joker, never gets to fully express how he feels. This off-panel cop-out is honestly kind of insulting.

Another detour: the kidnapping ep. We finally get Duke's full backstory after TWO WHOLE SEASONS (besides a brief mention in #76), and it was just not good. Besides the fact that Duke's kidnapping is, as I've mentioned, just a way to get the plot moving, I don't like the way WFA handles his parents:

What on EARTH are you talking about. This feels like a justification for Duke having never mentioned his parents before, but it's completely untrue to Duke's canon character. Sure, he thinks about his parents more than he talks about them, but WFA Duke never thinks about them either!! This narration box just riles me up whenever I think about it.

I was a bit nicer to this part in my first analysis, but no this part just straight up sucks. First off, I don't believe canon!Duke fears being turned into "something like [his parents]". In Cursed Wheel, he more or less comes to terms with how his parents are: "every horrible thing coming out of [my parents'] mouths? They're actually telling me how much they love me. [...] Let them stay." WFA always picking the weirdest things (becoming like his parents, his powers) for Duke to be scared about!

Secondly, this part juxtaposes the 'horror' of becoming like his parents ("something like them") and the wonderful, beautiful vision of "home": Bruce Wayne. Not only is this in direct defiance of Duke's canon character, it just strikes me as an odd and mean-spirited comparison. It essentially erases Duke's parents from his vision of 'home', just to fit him into the Wayne nuclear family.

But to get to the actual topic of the ask: We Are Robin. I still think the We Are Robin ep (#144) is the best Duke in the entirety of WFA, but did things improve afterwards? Did we focus on the WAR kids, their relationship to Duke, or their overall relationship to Robin? Nope. Turns out WAR, like Duke, was a prop for Damian!!

Damian is too harsh in training the Robins, so Duke intervenes. Damian stomps off and has a heart-to-heart with Jon, during which he admits he was trying to prove himself as Robin by training WAR. I actually like this premise!!! Duke and Damian have always had a contentious relationship to each other's Robins, and it makes TOTAL sense for Damian to be dismissive of WAR and think of it as a way to 'prove' himself. The problem is we did this already. TOM KING did it, in Robin War!!!

This is literally a microwaved TK story with worse writing and less nuance. In Robin War, we explored the way Damian dismisses Duke + WAR, both Duke and Damian's feelings of inadequacy around being Robin, and both of them eventually finding common ground and accepting each other. This arc is that except we cut out Duke's perspective. Now, it's all about Damian's feelings about Robin, and nothing about Duke or WAR's relationship to the mantle!

I cannot stress enough that this is a worse version of Robin War, and Robin War isn't even that good!!!

By centering We Are Robin's appearance on Damian, we lose about 99% of WAR's relationships to each other (and especially to Duke). The only specific relationship we see is Duke and Izzy blushing around each other. No acknowledgement of the Dre-Duke beef, the Riko-Duke crush, Dax-Dre friendship, these are a bunch of extras in a movie about Damian Wayne I guess.

You get absolutely no sense of who Izzy, Riko, Dre, or Dax are. The only thing you learn about them is that they're incompetent!

It's been a couple of episodes and they've been beaten TWICE. I get that they're not the main characters, but compared to the Outlaws or other affiliated teams, WAR is portrayed as ineffectual. And both times it's for Damian's sake. This is so frustrating because Damian + WAR is a really interesting relationship, but because WFA never focuses on WAR's feelings or reactions, it doesn't feel like an equal conflict. It feels like Damian vs. some cardboard cutouts.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??? Why aren't they even a tiny bit mad at Damian for either Robin War (WHICH DID HAPPEN BECAUSE WE ARE ROBIN IS CANON HERE) or what he did to them literally a few eps ago?? You know what, why aren't they mad at DUKE for ghosting and abandoning them?? They mention very briefly at the start that it's 'all good', but why??? Is it because WFA is not invested in their feelings??? Is it because we don't have space to explore even a modicum of Duke's story??????

Having a We Are Robin plot not focused on Duke Thomas or even We Are Robin is so upsetting, especially because the WAR ep was genuinely grounded in canon. Like you said in the ask, it does feel like they put that in there just to prove they've read WAR. What is clear to me now is that, though they've read the run, they didn't understand it. They did it for a perfunctory 'here's some Duke stuff' and never bothered to be interested in any of these characters' stories.

Because we should have gotten Duke's side of things. Damian gets an entire ep to talk to Jon and another to prove himself by fighting Joker, and Duke gets a few panels where he's like 'Damian don't usurp my training I forgive you though'. Season 3 has come the closest to giving WFA!Duke some depth, and because it comes the closest, it also fails the hardest. I still have hope that Duke will get some moments in this season, but I'm losing hope that it will make up for his treatment at all.

Apparently an upcoming Cass ep isn't great so they're really attacking me personally at this point. Idk what gets me is that for some people, this is their first exposure to Duke and WAR. For some people this is and will continue to be their only exposure. And it's this watered-down, uninteresting, bland, prop version of him that just is not the Duke Thomas I know and love.

[website-enjoyer]

Warden Indrix, Goatfolk Pariah is a really interesting character. He's at the crux of Qud's reckoning with its own inheritance of colonialist fantasy genre tropes, but what does he actually say?

The goatfolk are hostile to nearly everything, populating the jungle in roles such as "shaman" and "bully" (formerly "savage"). The fellowship of wardens, straining to exercise a monopoly on the legitimate use of violence, guarding friendly villages, the "cozy" parts of the game, form the other side of this civilization/wilderness dynamic that players and authors alike have had to reckon with.

The game explicitly frames this conflict in terms of land and locates it in Indrix's neck of the woods in Council at Gamma Rock: "Four wardens from the southern banks of the River Svy ascended the rostrum and reported on goatfolk incursions. The villages of Shebal and Ekamas were sacked inside of a month. The wardens recommended mounting a counteroffensive." Indrix is an outcast goatfolk warrior who now lives in this part of the jungle as a warden.

A parallel here could be drawn to the Arbiter Thel 'Vadam in the Halo series—a reformed warrior who has switched to the side of humanism and order, and a powerful ally. Remember goatfolk savages being renamed? Did you know that the rank of Arbiter was originally called Dervish in the writing for Halo 2 until concerns arose that it would make the human-versus-covenant war read as too much of a US-versus-Islam allegory? Being sci-fi like Qud, Halo also inherits a particular vision of jungles rooted not only in the literature of the world of 1492 but also in Vietnam War literature—in the same way that Star Wars has its forest moon of Endor, inextricably tied up with Apocalypse Now [and therefore, to return back to those earlier roots, The Heart of Darkness].

But while Halo pits its marines against the forces of the Prophet of Truth in a noble struggle to save humanity and Star Wars has its guerillas fighting alongside spear-throwing Ewoks against the evil Empire, Qud's goatfolk/wardens conflict isn't the engine of the narrative. It's a line in an in-game book, a haunting of the jungles with sense memories, and a side quest that comes down to carrying out a fratricide plot [Biblical stylings here] against a cult leader whose sanity-frying power source might be the closest thing in the game to the type of metaphysical evil typically found as the antagonist in roguelike games. Here, the quest to retrieve the Amulet of Yendor for the forces of order is a minor tragedy played out on the sidelines of a much larger narrative whose antagonists (on multiple levels) are materially understood colonizers.

This is a lot to try to unpack. I haven't even gotten into Nuntu and Erah's comments about goatfolk or any of Indrix's own dialogue[!!] here. It's a really messy area. I haven't gotten into the Naphtaali. I want to consider the ways in which Indrix is specifically sexualized in fan responses to the game, in terms of his strength and "goatish nature" and the ways in which he is marked, and what connections there are here with the figure of the brute in the colonial sexual imaginary. I want to consider Mayor Nuntu, the ape who has given up bludgeoning things to death and put on a hat, and the Svenlainard -> Crowsong dynamic, and what Kyakukya as a whole is doing in the narrative of Qud. I think there's something about the stages of development of national consciousness, something Fanonian in there, particularly in relation to Mamon's association with insanity and Indrix's violent responses. What is it? I don't know yet but it's interesting.

[iabggsyk]

Hear me out guys... Gethen being Sophie's bio dad has some pretty solid evidence once you think about it.

In Legacy Cassius makes a comment on how Sophie uses her telepathy (and just how she acts in general, tending to think using her heart/emotions first in situations) and says that she acts a lot like an empath. He also mentioned how during the matchmaking process, telepaths are more often than not paired with empaths than any other Talent because of how well they go together (pretty sure this was Shannon telling us something) saying that he wouldn't be surprised if the black swan had one of her parents be an empath, and the other a telepath.

Later on in legacy we figure out who Sophie's bio mom is (no spoilers for those who haven't read that far yet), and she ends up being an empath, no surprise there, so that just leaves the dad.

If we go by Cassius' logic (one of the few times I will ever utter this phrase) then her father must be a telepath. Let's go through the list of known Telepaths (excluding those who were still minors at the time of Sophie's conception (because elves go by conception date instead of birth date)). *Spoiler warning below*

Kenric and Alden are both immediately out, Kenric for obvious reasons, and Alden because, as was stated in Neverseen, if Alden was the father, it would have made Fitz and Sophie half siblings, and the black swan would've shut that situation down before it even had the time to properly grow.

Mr. Forkle also said he wasn't the father, and I'm assuming he meant both of the Forkle twins. We can also rule out Tiergan because, looking at the official art, he looks nothing like Sophie. Prentice, Emery and Quinlin are also out for the same reason as Tiergan (Also Emery is Oralie's coworker so that couldn't work), with all three of them being described with dark skin.

This leaves Gethen. He looks the most like her in appearance: He is described as having straight blonde hair. Blonde hair is a recessive gene so it makes sense for Sophie to have blonde hair if both her bio parents have blonde hair. Secondly, he has straight hair. This is important because Oralie has ringlet curls, and curls are a dominant trait so if Sophie's bio dad had curly hair then she would, at the very least have more curly hair than the current wavy look in the official art and book description, implying that one of her parents has to have straight hair.

Lastly, it would add to the similarities that Sophie and Keefe have. If This were true then: 1 they'd both have an evil parent apart of the Neverseen (Gethen and Gisela), 2 they both have parents in a high position of power in Elvin society and instead of using that to try to change the bad things they personally don't like about the society they instead conform to it (Oralie and Cassius), 3 both of their parents are shitty, 4 they both have a complicated relationship with their perspective "less shitty, but still relatively shitty parents" (again, Oralie and Cassius), 5. Both of their less terrible parents are empaths, and 6. Both of their respective parents (minus Cassius, that one's complicated but I'm too tired to go into full detail tonight) experimented/genetically modified/let someone else experiment on/genetically modify their kid for a "greater cause".

So in conclusion... I'm 90% sure that Gethen is the bio dad. It's either that or some character we've never met until book 10. Or Shannon'll never reveal it. Either way, thanks for coming to my Ted talk about who the bio father of a fictional character is.

[dreamsofbroflovski]

Okay one, when Butters is super horny and it's just you two he'll hump your leg without realizing it and two can we have HCS of the main 4 + Butters with a reader that doesn't finish easily cuz they're on antidepressants? U don't gotta go into detail but it's a similar thing that I struggle with :3/nf

- 🐣 anon

 #1 - ABSOLUTELY. In your sleep too...

 #2 - Here it is! Hope I did it justice. I might've been a bit too honest about how I see these people. was it made clear i have a favourite? no?

Also, for the people that have sent me asks with requests and stuff: I did not yeet them into the void. I try to do the most I can, so if I haven't gotten to your ask yet, it's very likely I'm holding onto it because I either need another request done first (I guess y'all have noticed how slow I am) or need to converse with my three brain cells (which only awaken in a very specific planetary position) before I can actually write it.

MAIN 4 + BUTTERS HEADCANONS - ANORGASMIC READER

𓆩♡𓆪 STAN MARSH

Eeeeh… Well, sorry. But the very first thing this dude will do is blame himself.

After your first time together when he cums and realizes you didn’t, it’s an automatic shift in the mood from chill and sexy to absolutely dark. He fully sulks, thinking he’s the most selfish motherfucker on the planet, that you’re definitely going to leave him and you should because he doesn’t deserve you.

Which then makes it a shock when you actually explain to him what’s going on - it involves you opening up about some rather personal subjects, and he pays close attention to every word, slowly feeling even worse for making your problems about himself. Out of nowhere, it turns into the both of you butt naked talking about life.

You bond over something. He drowns himself in alcohol to escape his own depression, right? Alcohol can cause erectile dysfunction. At first he didn’t imagine his problem could be similar to yours - but, even if it’s not the same thing, he feels a bit… seen, in a way. Less ashamed of himself.

The concept of things maybe getting a bit more difficult moving on scares him a little bit, no doubt. Like, what if he ends up doing wrong by you and then it really becomes his fault? But he’s suddenly determined to not let something like this get in the way of your relationship - so he pushes through it, and you two end up emotionally closer as a result since you decide to face your problems together.

𓆩♡𓆪 KYLE BROFLOVSKI

The smartest about it. i love him so much i married him 3 times already actually

This is the type of knowledge he’d have even if he doesn’t take antidepressants himself. So, once he finds out you do (either by you outright telling him or by him noticing something around your house), the dots connect in his mind instantly.

So he knows the issue isn’t with either of you, rather it’s a side effect like all medications have, albeit a very bothersome one.

And what do we do with problems? We sort ‘em out. So this guy is doing research and reading scientific articles to try and approach it from a practical sense for you, especially if you’re getting in your head about it, he’s showing you actual information to drill into your head that it is normal.

To be real with you, I think that, in general, Kyle’s one of those people that heavily subscribes to the notion that ‘sex is more about connection and both parties feeling good rather than orgasms’. So he’d have your back in that regard, remind you of it often, and keep that philosophy whenever you two are together. i’m marrying him a 4th time right now

Extra little fact: He’s read through the medicine information leaflet for your medication like a dozen times to figure out everything that it does and any potential other side effects. And probably cornered himself into an anxiety attack of his own by doing so, tbh.

𓆩♡𓆪 ERIC CARTMAN

sighs I’m holding onto the hands of all the Cartman wives right now. But y’all knew what you were in for when you chose the hellspawn. And he’d by far be the hardest to come to an understanding with.

He wouldn’t comprehend it at all. Like, surely this couldn’t be a problem with him (and, for once in his life, he’s right on that!), right? He’s amazing! So that leaves out the other half of the equation, which is you, and he’s sure that’s where the ‘problem’ lies.

It’s entirely possible that you two might even fight over it. He feels a bit threatened by the prospect of there being an inadequacy in your relationship, and so he gets defensive.

Once he gives it a Google search and finds out it’s actually something that happens, though, boy does he regret arguing. And then you get something that you probably should’ve recorded because it’s a once-in-a-lifetime affair: an honest to God apology, complete with flowers on your doorstep, from Eric Cartman.

He ends up having to re-learn a lot of his preconceived notions about sex. A lot of newfound understanding about orgasms not being the end-all-be-all of the deal, and learning different ways to bring you pleasure, physically and mentally. But we know how he gets when he sets his mind to something, and he does deliver on that regard. Cartman growth arc what do you know

If he does make you cum, though? No one is ever hearing the end of it. So so smug.

𓆩♡𓆪 KENNY MCCORMICK

At first, this idiot sees it as a challenge. Like you’re being bratty or testing him out or something - which he’s down for.

But then he goes serious immediately when you explain what actually is going on, and he does apologize. It is all a little bit confusing in his mind, to be fair - for him, arousal and sex are the only actual easy things in life, so this feels out of left field to him. 

Honestly? It would take a bit of explaining to him that your situation is a side effect from medicine. I feel like his household is one where the concept of depression is spoken of as ‘laziness’, so his knowledge about the subject is zero when you first talk.

He’s willing to make amends, though. He does provide a lot of emotional support - in the usual Kenny way; there’s a lot of non-sexual touching involved - and makes sure you understand that it’s not gonna be a problem for him and that he doesn’t think less of you for that at all despite his initial misunderstanding.

And from then on, whenever you two meet for that, he’s a man prepared for battle. Sex toys, lube, water and snacks to replenish energy, anything he can possibly try on you to bring you that pleasure. And if still by the end of the ordeal you don’t finish at all, he’s gonna have made sure you felt good. 

𓆩♡𓆪 LEOPOLD ‘BUTTERS’ STOTCH

So sweet it gave me a cavity, as usual. 

Does blame himself a bit as well at first, but doesn’t get in his head nearly as much as Stan would. It just takes a little bit of talking and that sadness gets quickly replaced by legitimate concern.

Another guy who wouldn’t understand antidepressants very well because his parents would’ve probably given him the belt if he even thought about saying he was depressed. He’s a fast learner, though; the explanation amps up his concerns for you a bit, but it also brings him back to his regularly scheduled programming, which is…

You get absolutely smothered with support and reassurance. He’s not gonna let you feel bad about a single thing if he can avoid it; so if you have any insecurities in that regard, he’s helping get rid of them with loving words and a little bit of careful insight he’s picked up from his limited understanding of the matter.

He’s eager to go through with any possible suggestion to sort things out and make things better for you. Different positions, actions, or sex toys? Why not! Sex therapy? He has no idea what it actually entails, but sure, go right on. He needs you comfortable first and foremost, whatever shape that takes.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[rottingdotratt]

Obscura boys 3d model notes/process 😝😝

With the final dude created and this little project coming to a close I thought it'd be fun to put together a little overview with some of my thoughts about each one

Up first we got Oleander

I decided to do oleander first because I knew he would be the most annoying. And he was. Though I'm not sure if that's moreso because of him or because he was the third vroid model I made ever. He definitely took the longest but I also think he turned out really nice 😋 as long as you ignore his jacket clipping through itself every time he moves

4/10 overall experience

After oleander I made Keir because he is boring. because his black and brown color pallet and practical fashion sense seemed like a nice pallette cleanser. Though I never could've imagined just HOW FUCKING ANNOYING HIS GIANT BOOBS WERE OH MY GOD TRYING TO DRAW STRAIGHT LINES ACROSS HIS MASSIVE HONKERS WAS A NIGHTMARE THEY WARP AND DEFORM EVERYTHING WITHIN A 10 MILE RADIUS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ also his hair was super annoying but it was doable. He probably took the least amount of time all together but I kept putting it off so it took way longer

6/10 overall experience

After Keir I made Francesco because I asked on the discord who I should make next and 1 person said Fran 😎😎😎 he went pretty fast I felt, maybe it was because I was getting the hang of vroid finally or maybe it's cause I was listening to Pinkerton. it all went pretty well except for THAT STUPID FUCKING MIDDLE PART OH MY GOD YOU WOULDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE BUT IT WAS THE WORST HAIRSTYLE I HAD TO MAKE HANDS DOWN NO COMPETITION AND THEN WHEN I CONVERTED HIM TO PMX ALL THE PHYSICS WERE WHACK AND HE LOOKED LIKE HE HAD HORRIBLE STATIC CLING SO I HAD TO FIX HIS HAIR AND EXPORT HIM A SECOND TIME‼️‼️‼️‼️ but other than that he was smooth sailing and very polite

8/10 overall experience

And last but not least Cirrus

Ok I think I cheated for this one.. Like there's this vtuber named Pallas in the discord who already made Cirrus assets for vroid and they graciously let me use them so I didn't have to make the scarf, the shoes, or that dangly charm thing he has which are all the hardest parts so all I really did was make the hair, the mask, and the robe which I did lickety split😝😝😝 I'm not complaining though

9/10 overall experience

WAIT WE'RE NOT DONE YET🤯🤯🤯🤯 BONUS MODEL

my vespersona Lepidoptera

She was the second vroid model I made ever and she has the jank to prove it 😎😎😎 but without her the other dudes would not exist because what's the point of making 4 boyfriends if there isn't somebody for them to be 4 boyfriends for. And I guess I also learned a lot about making textures and using the hair tool and vroid in general and the separate program that can make textures transparent even though I didn't use it for any of the obscura dudes

I don't really have anything to say about her process besides making your own ocs is a cakewalk compared to characters you didn't make because you know what their back looks like even if you haven't drawn it

8/10 overall experience

Ok now I'm done 😋 thanks for reading

[sweatinghoneybee]

Yay finish this one! After finishing Connie I just gotta draw Lloyd cause the way that he is described really sounds found to me especially his oni dragon form! And also cause I seriously need to practice drawing guys like seriously the last time I drew a guy was in October and I think that doesn't quite seem fair since the guy was just an au version of MC that I've made and since he's a robot I took some liberties on not fully drawing the human anatomy so yeah, tho still cute mechanic boy tho.

Honestly I didn't go too crazy with the design and just drew Lloyd the way the fanfic described him which what I've listed is pale, tall, athletic body, pointed ears, fangs, freckles, scars, bright green eyes, and mussed styled blonde hair. Honestly if I'm being honest I was just trying to give him a elven vampire look cause like come on just read the description Lloyd was given in the fic? Pointed eared fanged blond haired boy with green eyes that can also turn red AND purple? No wonder the reader of this fic is simping for him, he's basically a combo of fantasy elf prince and horror vampire lover and with her book loving heart she couldn't handle the amount of hotness he is! 乁⁠[⁠ᓀ⁠˵⁠▾⁠˵⁠ᓂ⁠]⁠ㄏ

And then for his ninja gi at first I wanted to draw Lloyd with his gi in the cover of the fanfic from Wattpad but I decided to add in elements from his gi in the sons of garmadon and took some liberties cause I couldn't draw the mask right cause I ended up making him look like a wrapped sausage with the first mask I drew him in, tho with this experience I now understand why most fanarts of the ninjas in Ninjago are them not wearing masks cause like those things are HARD to draw. Or maybe that's just me, seriously can someone confirm to me if I'm right for this cause like when I search up Ninjago fanarts most of them are the ninjas not wearing their masks ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠∵⁠ ⁠)⁠┌

The real fun was when I drew the oni dragon form! Tho I was working backwards with drawing Uchu first cause since he's described as the evolved version of Lloyd in his oni dragon form It was an easier process with making Uchu first cause if I made his final form then I can work out what it may look like in it's premature state! Tho I will say this even tho it's a fun experience drawing this it was NOT easy cause the description of this form is something. Uchu and Lloyd's horns are described like crowns on their head but with how it's described with Lloyd grabbing his front horn and also the two fronts of it being kissed but the horns also described as tiered with each set being longer then the others, I was seriously racking my head trying to figure out what it looks like and don't even get me started with Uchu's horns then being described as antler like this part seriously put dents in my brain (⁠~⁠_⁠~⁠;⁠) Tho luckily at the end i end up getting a design I like and with the horns design finish I just sorta made Uchu's form literally just more exaggerated and longer but trying my best to make it look regal the best I can. Tho I just made Uchu have super long braid cause I just thought it would be so cool that in his oni dragon form his hair grew longer which give him like a dragon looking tail braid and I thought it would be so cute Saisho braiding and brushing her hubby's hair. And I just gave Lloyd's oni dragon form not that exaggerated, long and darker and I was done! Tho I gotta admit I'm sad that I couldn't color his scales have that golden shine to them but sadly my yellow pen ink got covered too mush with the black colored pencil so there's nothing I could do about it, but besides that I'm happy with the results cause I honestly did not think I could do anatomy besides girls this well since I haven't practiced it a lot! ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

If anyone is wondering what the heck I'm talking about this is a fanart from Ninjago fanfic made by @samseaaa called butterfly effect, here's a link any of you would like to check it out!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42409836/chapters/107794638?view_adult=tru

Hope you guys check it out cause this story has already had 66 chapters and it's not even finish yet and turns out this was still book 1?!?! Seriously go check it out the story is super cute fluffy romance with a gun shot of angsts hope you guys enjoy reading along! ⁽⁠⁽⁠ଘ⁠(⁠ ⁠ˊ⁠ᵕ⁠ˋ⁠ ⁠)⁠ଓ⁠⁾⁠⁾