#but i have standards and one of them is not having sex under dads roof

[renytherat]

i hate this

[wisecura]

Sheets

megumi fushiguro x fem-reader

p.1

p.2  ( ⸝⸝꩜ ᯅ ꩜⸝⸝;) p.3

p.2

AN: Thank you for reading part 2! Again each of these will be around 3k in length. Enjoy!

warnings: i'm putting these here for future chapters too, and ill sprinkle some in as I go. I want to make it clear, there is no underage sex, but later on there will be some more raunchy shit. this is somewhat non-canon compliant-make it up as I go

-ok for the real warnings: yandere, obsessive behavior, possessiveness, mommy kinks, mommy issues, arranged marriages, forced marriages, angst, eventual smut, clan politics, age gap (5 years from meg, and a little over 10 with toji), toji aint the best dad, mentions of child abuse, slowww build.

Short summary: Your arranged marriage to Toji Fushiguro had been sudden and unexpected, but now you found yourself living under his roof alongside his moody stepson. Your only directive from your clan head before moving in was clear: keep a close eye on Toji, the notorious Sorcerer Killer, and his son, a potential sorcerer prodigy.

Another

Cleaning had always been second nature to you, a skill drilled into you by your clan as a symbol of discipline and propriety.

The ways of a proper young lady.

Back then, it had been another way to meet their rigid standards, but now, in Toji’s apartment, it served a different purpose.

You weren’t trying to meet anyone’s expectations. It felt more like you were creating a space that felt livable, even comforting. As you scrubbed and tidied, remnants of your clan’s demands linger in your mind.

Megumi stayed holed up in his room, avoiding you, though you suspected it wasn’t out of rudeness.

Maybe he was still figuring you out, testing the waters before deciding how to interact. You couldn't blame him. This was all new and strange for both of you.

As you scrubbed the counters and sorted through laundry, you tried to keep yourself busy, hoping to quiet the restless hum of your thoughts. The spiraling.

But the silence of the apartment only amplified them, leaving you with little to do but reflect.

You thought long and hard about your next move—about what you wanted and what you were willing to do. You hadn’t expected to make it this far, away from the suffocating grip of your clan, away from the rules they’d meticulously instilled into you. This already felt like a step up. 

No one was yelling. No one was crying. And most importantly, no one was punishing you for merely existing.

And for once, you could breathe. 

But could you settle here? Could you turn this into a real home? The thought carried a weight you hadn’t anticipated, especially when you considered who you were married to.

Toji Fushiguro.

The infamous thirty-something gambler whose reputation preceded him. His name carried weight—none of it good. You’d only heard whispers about him before, rumors about the "Sorcerer Killer" who couldn’t see curses, but had carved a place for himself in a world that didn’t want him. The name he was making for himself wasn’t the kind anyone would aspire to have.

And now, he was your husband. 

Could he truly be better than what you’d left behind?

Marriage had never been a simple thing for people like you. It was, more often than not, a transaction, a tool for power and alliances, never a partnership.

You'd settled your peace with that. But you couldn’t be sure what kind of man Toji would turn out to be. So far, he was unpredictable—evasive, blunt, and not exactly brimming with warmth.

When you first met Toji, you’d been terrified.

His deep voice, gruff and laced with irritation, felt like a warning in itself. And he hadnt been happy when you first saw him. His towering, muscular frame only added to the daunting image.

Many clan marriages ended in misery. Beaten wives, suffocating rules, and vows that served only to bind and restrict.

The unknown had loomed large that day.

You’d been genuinely shocked when Toji had even shown up to the meeting. After all, he already had a history—a wife before you, a notorious rebellious streak, and a reputation soaked in blood.

What had happened to her?

The question lingered in your mind, twisting your thoughts into a frantic swirl as you tried to piece together what kind of man he was and what exactly you might be walking into.

Not that you had much of a choice.

To your relief, he left shortly after bringing you home, without forcing himself on you or issuing a set of house rules. But even without his demands, you already knew your place.

How could you not?

The weight of the clan’s expectations had been drilled into you for as long as you could remember.

Still, the questions remained.

Could you trust him? Could he truly protect you from the very people who had pushed you into this marriage? Or would he become like the others you’d seen—the cruel, controlling men who treated their wives as tools?

If things got sticky, you could run. But the thought terrified you. Your clan wasn’t known for letting their investments go so easily. They had their motives, their expectations for you, and you knew better than to think they’d let you walk away unscathed.

The marriage was a means to an end, and the moment you stopped being useful, they wouldn’t hesitate to dissolve it. Drag you back, kicking and screaming.

The questions would start soon if you didn’t make an appearance at the estate for a ‘visit.’ You’d have to come up with something to keep them satisfied, a way to buy yourself more time.

But would it be enough? You weren’t about to stoop to spying, but maybe if you offered them the bare minimum, it could hold them off. Still, you knew the risk.

Back to the suffocating walls of their estate. Back to the life you’d fought so hard to escape. Back to another arranged marriage—this time, likely to someone far worse.

Someone who wouldn’t tolerate even a shred of independence.

You had no illusions about what they were capable of. They’d find you. They’d make an example of you. The consequences were always swift, brutal, and served as a warning to others.

The only thing keeping you from that fate was this house.

Toji.

For all his flaws, for all the uncertainty that surrounded him, Toji was the barrier between you and the life you so desperately wanted to escape.

The clan couldn’t touch you here—not while you were under his roof. His name and infamous reputation were enough to keep them at bay for now.

But why had he even agreed to this marriage? It didn’t serve him. If anything, it seemed like another chain, another tie he’d likely resent. What had convinced him to take on a responsibility that did him no favors?

The thought nagged at you as you clung to the fragile sense of safety he unknowingly provided.

For now, you had to play the game carefully. Toji was unpredictable, but at least he wasn’t actively cruel. You’d take your chances with him over returning to the hell you’d left behind.

And yet, still, he hadn’t returned. When would he come home?  Sure it'd only been a day, but...

When lunchtime rolled around, you prepared food for both yourself and Megumi. Doubling the portions, you were glad he was starting to warm up to you, even if only slightly. Knocking softly on his door, you waited for a moment before it creaked open.

Megumi stood there, his expression unreadable as usual, but he took the plate with a small nod.

“Thanks,” he muttered before retreating back into his room, the door closing firmly behind him.

So, you ate alone.

It wasn’t the solitude that stung the most—it was the familiarity of it.

Sitting at the quiet table, your thoughts drifted to the countless meals you’d eaten alone back at the clan house.

You’d thought leaving that life behind would make things different, that here, in this little apartment, you could find something resembling peace.

But for now, the silence was deafening.

You reminded yourself to remember that this was better and you needed to be patient.

At least you knew Megumi wasn’t cruel or rude—just guarded. He was still so young, still figuring out his place in all of this.

So, you cleared your plate, brushed off the dull ache settling in your chest, and told yourself that this was temporary.

It was just a matter of time.

Later in the day, you decided to step out for groceries. The apartment was practically empty, the fridge holding little more than condiments and a few questionable leftovers.

You couldn’t fathom how Toji and Megumi had been surviving off such meager scraps. You’d noticed the state of things your first day there, picking up a few essentials just to scrape by. But today, you decided it was time to stock up properly.

Standing by the front door, you hesitated for a moment, glancing toward Megumi’s room. A small part of you debated whether to ask him to come along. It might have been nice to have the company, and perhaps the outing could help you two get closer. But you quickly pushed the thought aside.

This wasn’t his responsibility. It was yours. You were the one trying to build a home here, the one who had stepped into this role. So you would need to do it.

With a quiet sigh, you grabbed your shopping list and headed out the door. It wasn’t a long walk to the nearby market, but as you made your way down the street.

By the time you returned, your arms were weighed down with bags. Maybe you’d gotten carried away, but everything seemed so necessary. Stumbling through the front door, you dumped the bags onto the counter with a relieved sigh.

Megumi peeked out from the doorway, alerted by the sound. “You’re back?”

“Yeah,” you said, turning slightly to smile at him, still catching your breath. “Got some food for tonight.”

He frowned, his gaze shifting to the hefty bags on the counter.

“Didja walk all this back yourself?”

“Mhmm,” you replied with a small hum, stretching your back before reaching to start putting things away.

Before you could even grab the first item, Megumi stepped into the kitchen, his sharp eyes narrowing slightly as he gently nudged you aside.

“Go rest. I’ll put it ‘way,” he muttered without any real bite.

You blinked at him, caught off guard by the unexpected offer, but decided not to argue. Instead, you took a seat at the kitchen table, watching him move around the room.

His movements were deliberate and efficient as he pulled items from the bags. He inspected each one carefully, as though weighing its importance, before putting it into its proper place.

For a moment, you forgot the weight of everything else and simply watched.

Megumi, for all his prickliness, had his own way of showing appreciation—even if he didn’t say it out loud. It was hard not to notice how much care he put into something so simple.

He still reminded you of a grumpy old cat—aloof, guarded, but with moments of surprising thoughtfulness.

A small laugh escaping you as the thought crossed your mind.

Megumi glanced over his shoulder, his sharp eyes narrowing in suspicion. “What’s so funny?” he asked, his tone flat, though the faint red at the tips of his ears betrayed some building irritation.

“Nothing,” a small, teasing smile playing on your lips. “Just thinking about how teenagers can be so stubborn sometimes.”

“Stubborn?” he parroted, his tone disbelieving. “I’m not stubborn. You’re acting like I’m some little kid or something.”

The amused smile tugging at your lips only grew as you tilted your head at him. “Well, aren’t you? Just a little bit, maybe?”

And his scowl deepened, the flush on his cheeks darkening. The faint hint of embarrassment making him look unbearably adorable.

“I’m not a kid. I’m almost fourteen,” he muttered, his voice firm, though it teetered dangerously close to a pout.

Your laugh now unrestrained, unable to resist teasing him just a bit more. It seemed so easy for him to ruffle up. “Fourteen, huh? Practically a grown-up. My bad.”

Megumi’s gaze darted away briefly before snapping back to you, his tone quieter but still holding a note of defiance. “You’re not that much older than me. You’re what? Sixteen?”

You shook your head, unable to hide your amusement. “Sixteen? Try eighteen, Megumi. I’m officially an adult, thank you very much.”

His eyes narrow, as if processing the information. “Eighteen?” he muttered under his breath, his skepticism clear. “You don’t look eighteen.”

Feigning offense, you straightened your posture. “Well, I am,” you said with mock indignation. “And as the adult here, I think I get to call you a kid.”

Megumi huffed, crossing his arms. “You don’t act like an adult. You’re more like a bossy older sister.”

That made you grin even wider. Was that supposed to be an insult? “Bossy older sister, huh? I think I’ll take that as a compliment.”

He avoided your gaze, pretending to focus on folding one of the empty grocery bags.

“Take it however you want,” he muttered, his tone clipped, though the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth gave him away.

“Well, thanks, I guess,” you said playfully. “But I’m still older than you, and that makes you the kid, like it or not.”

Megumi frowned but didn’t argue further. Instead, he busied himself with the counter, his lips pressed into a firm line.

“But I’m not a kid,”

You raised your hands in mock surrender, your tone kind and teasing.

“Alright, alright. You’re not a kid. You’re a very mature almost-fourteen-year-old. Better?”

Turning his attention back to the counter, he muttered, “Whatever,”

You leaned back in your chair, watching him with a mix of fondness and curiosity.

Megumi had a way talking. A way of instilling fondness into the back of you mind. You already really liked the kid.

The way he tried to act older than he was—it was all so very… Megumi-esque. And you hadn't even known him for long. Not even a day. He had such predictably, you felt like you already knew him.

But kids with that much prickliness tend to have more going on.

“You know,” you said gently, breaking the silence, “you don’t have to rush to grow up so fast. Fourteen—or almost fourteen—is a good age to just…be.”

Megumi glanced at you, a blank look on his face. As if he wasn’t even considering what you were saying. “I’m not rushing anything. I just don’t want to be treated like some helpless kid.”

Now that got your attention.

You tilted your head, your smile softening. “I don’t think you’re helpless, Megumi. Not at all…I just think it’s okay to let people care about you sometimes. It doesn’t make you helpless.”

He didn’t reply, his gaze flickering back to the counter, but you could see the wheels turning in his head. 

Then he lingered. The groceries were already put away, yet he didn’t leave. He didn’t know why he stayed. Maybe he didn’t want to admit it.

But his actions spoke louder than words ever could: maybe, just maybe, he didn’t mind you being there. Doesn’t mind being around you. Psycho-ex of his dad’s or otherwise.

While making dinner, Megumi hovered close to your elbows. His dark eyes trailing your every movement with a quiet intensity that didn’t suit the task at hand.

He didn’t say a word, but his focus was unshakable, soaking in every detail. Your cooking so far had been phenomenal. Enough to make the kid jealous.

He wanted to learn, that much was clear—wanted to memorize the steps, the measurements, the little techniques you used. You had a sneaking suspicion it wasn’t just curiosity. 

His silence didn’t bother you. If anything, it gave you the perfect opportunity to chatter away, filling the room with a one-sided conversation that you hoped wasn’t entirely unwelcome.

You explained every step meticulously, breaking it down like a cooking show. Megumi didn’t interrupt or huff at you. Instead, he absorbed it all like a sponge, his head tilting slightly when you mentioned something new.

“Toji must not be much of a cook,” you remarked at one point, glancing at him with a teasing smile. His lips twitched upward for the briefest moment, a ghost of a smile that made your chest tighten with warmth.

Even when you explained the most basic things, like how to dice an onion properly, Megumi listened as though it were the most important lecture of his life.

It made sense—Megumi was still young, and cooking had always been considered a woman’s role in traditional clan life. And considering Toji’s seemingly chaotic lifestyle, and the lack of any obvious maternal figure, it was no wonder this felt new to him. Still, the conversation flowed a little easier that evening.

You hadn’t had many interactions with the other children back at the clan estate—everything there had been too rigid, too suffocating for anything resembling a healthy relationship.

It was surprise you were even social adept to talk with him now. You felt like you were finally getting to experience a somewhat normal family life.

And even in those moments, there was still a frigid layer of distance he maintain between you two—a protective barrier he refused to let you pass.

Distrusting, yes, but not beyond reach.

He was still trying to figure you out, sizing you up, before deciding whether you were even worth the effort of trusting.

Why the hell was this kid so frosty? Was it Toji? The absence of a mother? Or something else entirely? You weren’t sure, but the guarded way Megumi carried himself—the abrasiveness, the defensive huffiness—stirred something in you.

There had been plenty of kids like him back in the clan house. Some were cold and indifferent, their walls impenetrable.

Others carried arrogance like armor, wielding it to hide their insecurities.

But the ones who stayed with you—the ones who truly stuck in your memory—were those too weak to defend themselves, cast aside for showing too much emotion.

Beaten into shape.

Megumi wasn’t like that, obviously. But the thought of him enduring anything similar made you feel...protective. Kids don’t get that icy from a normal childhood, after all.

When you finally sat down to eat, the food, obviously, turned out fantastic.

Megumi, ever stoic, simply nodded in approval as he ate, but you caught the way his chopsticks moved a little faster than usual, and you couldn’t help but feel a small tinge of pride.

“Not bad, right?” you teased lightly, hoping to draw a reaction from him.

His eyes flicked up to meet yours for a fleeting second before he mumbled,

“It’s good.”

Another almost-smile.

It was your second day in and this kid would be the death of you.

p.3?

AN: Thank you for reading! Please reblog and like if you enjoy this series!

I will also be posting updates here:

https://www.tumblr.com/communities/obsessedjjk

come home

[idunnoficsorsumthing]

This might be the summer heat….Part 7

Hangman x female! reader

Warnings: Smut. 18+ if you continue to read you consent to being over 18. Also warning note in rl this is not a good plan. 😅 Doctors would not recommend it.

Final part, guys.

You had stayed beside Jake’s bed while he was sleeping, sometimes during the night he woke up, and you’d talk or play a game. He preferred Hangman. Even if he kept losing from you. The nurse from the ER told you to grab a hotel, and sleep. But, you couldn’t. You just wanted to look over at him, and see his face. You had calmed down enough, your dad was probably on a flight back to the north island, he had his reasons and the more time you spent in this chair, you understood his reasoning. You wondered what you would do once his parents would arrive. “Does thinking this hard hurt your pretty head?” He asked. You groan. You hated the way he got under your skin. “Can you come sit here?” He asked. He looked at you with a begging look. He was looking at you with sadness, and even if you were still mad about things that had happened in August you could not tell him no. Not now. You got up from your chair, and scooted down on the bed, on his good side. The side that didn’t hurt as much, you lean your head on his shoulder. You took his hand into yours. A beep had started coming from the machine. You look up when the door opens and a nurse steps in. “When you have sex we know.” She says, stepping inside the room. She had her arms crossed. “We weren’t having sex.” You said, she looked at the sheepish grin Jake was having. “We might so you can turn that off.” Jake said, you slightly slap him against his arm. “Well, if you two weren’t doing anything. He must like you very much,his heart rate went through the roof.” The nurse said she fixed Jake’s leg that was propped up on a standard to keep it elevated. But, not in the air which is what they would’ve done when it is in a cast. The nurse then moves to Jake’s side, and turns off the machine. “No funny business.” She said, as she pointed at Jake. He just chuckled. You could only shake your head, as you felt your cheeks heat up, and you could just die of embarrassment

You nod. You couldn’t believe you were going to do this. You moved up from the bed, and started taking off your panty, and panties, leaving you in just your skirt while Jake had the biggest smirk on his face. You climbed back on the bed, he pulled up his hospital gown. You climbed over him, sitting down on his waist. “I wish you’d ride my face first” He said, he was entirely too happy with this situation. You give him a glare. “I know. I know. I’m ruining a very intimate moment.” He said, he moved one hand to your waist, guiding you up for him to take his penis out of his underwear. Instead of his lining up his penis, he glided two fingers through your folds. Your breath hitched. “I’d almost believed it was a pity fuck if only you weren’t this wet.” He chuckled. His finger wet with your juices he puts his fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean. He settled you down on his cock with his hands. You held onto his shoulders, and gasped audible from the familiar feeling of him stretching you. He closed his eyes, tightening his grip on your hips. “Tell me if it hurts.” You said, moving carefully up and down. “This is the best I've felt in month’s, pretty.” He groaned. He moved his thumb to your clit moving it in circles. He leaned forward to kiss you again. The slowness of your movements was killing you, as in between kisses heavy breaths were audible. This was a change of pace of your usual sex, which was heated, and fast paced. Usually filled with sexual tensions, and anger. Now it was slow, and passionate. You moved up the pace a bit. He let out a noise, you pulled away and stopped your movements. “Did I hurt you?” You asked worriedly. He shakes his head, and pecks kisses on your neck. “No, now stop being so worried about me.” He said, you moved your arms around his neck, and scratched the back of his hair. “God I love you, Jake, and I’m going to be worried about you whether you like it or not.” You said, inches away from his face. You didn’t just mean now, you meant always. He chuckled. “Rooster said you adored me.” he said, you let out a gasp as he bucked his hips. “Is now the time to bully me?” You ask him. He nods. “At Least I said it first.” You shrug. You slowly buck your hips to his again. “Did not.” He said defensive. His hands had slowly found his way back to your hips, and moved your body up and down. “We were arguing, and it was like two a.m and you were throwing shit around and I told you that I loved you but you were so pissed you didn’t even hear me.” He explained. You frown at him, but him pushing you down on his cock made you let out a moan.

“That’s too slick. I don’t believe you.” You gasped. He moved you up, and down more forcefully than you would have done. “I love you. Now show me those tits. Daddy missed them.” He said, You had the most stupid grin on your face. How could he ruin a moment this perfect. You moved your hands to your blouse pulling it over your head. Exposing your bra for him. You moved your hands to your back but he stopped you.”No, let me.” He said, moving his hands to your back, undoing your bra, letting it slip off. “God, I love these.” He said, he moved his hands to cup them. He let go of them, and as you were bouncing on his cock your breasts were jiggling. “Go faster.” he ordered. You start going a bit faster and the tension in your stomach builds up in forms of knots. You started moaning a bit more when he twisted your left nipple with one hand and the other rubbed your clit. Your walls squeezed around his cock, and he let out moans of pleasure, shooting his load into you. You ride him through his high as you come close to cumming. He continues to rub your clit till you let out an exasperated moan of ecstasy.

Two years later

You stepped into your living room. Hangman had not been able to come home when your son was born. He missed the birth of his son because he was flying over some international water on a mission he was not allowed to discuss. Not that either of you really complained you were both happy he was back in the air and made a full recovery. You see your husband sit on the couch, he was telling some story to your kid. Three months old already. “and that is when your mother and I joined the mile high club.” he said, you groan. “Can you not tell our kid about everytime we had sex.” You said, you sit down on the couch next to him. “He thinks it is funny. Look at him laugh.” he said, He hands the baby to you. Whom was indeed laughing at you. “He is laughing at your dumb face.” You tease Hangman. He scrunched his nose in dislike but leans in to peck a kiss on your cheek. “Hello little bean.” you said, he looked so much like Hangman already.

@18crazybutcutealsopsycho @domerpalmer @dempy @luckyladycreator2

[sodasback]

Let Go

Reposting Let Go from my deleted accounts. Minor edits made.

JJ Maybank x Reader

Just SMUT. Real filthy smut.

Warnings: Very explicit sexual content. Cursing. All consensual. 18+

JJ got a gig cleaning pools on Figure 8 for the summer. And your family had a pool. Ergo, JJ was at your house every couple weeks cleaning your pool.

Of course, you knew JJ Maybank. He was the gorgeous bad boy Pogue every girl swooned over. And JJ Maybank knew you too. You were the Kook man-eater, currently on the arm of none other than Rafe Cameron. And sure you and Rafe had a good time together and you loved how possessive he was over you, but you both knew deep down your relationship was all about status. You were the ultimate young power couple of Figure 8.  

You and JJ, on the other hand, despised each other. …but like many have said, there’s a thin line between love and hate. And the truth was: you and JJ hated each other because you wanted what the other seemed to have.

You wanted to be free. Free of the obligation and the standards and the suffocating expectations. And JJ wanted to feel secure and cared for. Fuck, he just wanted to know where his next meal was coming from and what roof he was gonna sleep under without getting yelled at.

Right now, JJ was standing shirtless and sweaty with perfectly messy wet hair as he used the net to get crap out of the pool at your house while you were coming home from a day of waxing, tanning, manicures and pedicures.

You saw JJ and decided your day just hadn’t had enough excitement in it yet.

“Hey pool boy” You called to him with the perfect amount of flirtation and snobbery. JJ looked up at you. 

“You missed a spot.” You said, pointing to the leaves that were in the pool near you. He walked over to you with his usual cocky, Kook-hating attitude.

“Yeah, so did whoever sprayed that fake tan on you.” He retorted back, gesturing to a blotchy spot on your hip exposed by your cropped tank top.

You looked down at it, “Fuck!” you cursed, causing JJ to laugh as he scooped the leaves out of the pool.

“Shit, money can buy you everything, can’t it Y/L/N?” JJ asked casually, “Fake hair, fake tan, fake nails. Is anything about you real?” He asked looking down at your bare cleavage pushing up through your top.

“There’s only one way for you to find out.” Your was voice dripping in sex and JJ looked at you in shock, not expecting your answer as his lips parted slightly, exactly the reaction you wanted.

“...too bad I don’t date stoner surf bums though.” You shrugged.

And JJ regained the composure he lost for a second as he leaned the net against the wall and turned back to face you.

“Yeah, you prefer psychotic, spoiled coke addicts, right?” He narrowed his eyes down at you and you glared at him.

“He doesn’t do that shit anymore.” You stated definitively, referring to Rafe’s drug habit.

JJ snorted and nodded at you, “Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night princess. …But I did literally just see him doing lines and drinking cocktails when I was cleaning the Cameron’s pool today.”

You felt disappointed, hurt and angry at this news. Because 1. Rafe canceled plans with you today to do “something important” for his dad and 2. You also knew Rafe wouldn’t usually drink and get high by himself, so you were pretty sure JJ was leaving part of the story out. 3. Rafe promised he wasn’t using coke anymore.

“You know he’s an asshole, right?” JJ asked, wanting you to admit you were a better person than your reputation made you out to be.

You were quiet as you internally acknowledged that JJ was right.

Without an answer from you, he sighed, “But I guess… superficial Kook princess like you will tolerate just about anything to make mommy and daddy happy with that Cameron last name.” He shrugged.

You smirked at this, “You almost sound a little jealous, Maybank.”

JJ scoffed, but you continued taking a step towards him as he held his ground. “I mean, I may not be some desperate tourist or some grungy surfer chick, but I know you think I’m hot.”

JJ broke eye contact with you and shook his head, opening his mouth to object but you took another step towards him and you could hear his breathing falter slightly as he looked back at you. So now you were ready to lie and say the thing you needed to say to get what you and JJ both desperately desired.

“And I know you wanna fuck me.” You said dangerously, taking another step so you and JJ’s bodies were almost touching, running a finger down JJ’s bare abs, making him shiver before you looked up at him, “But you’re scared. You’re scared that you wouldn’t live up to Rafe Cameron because you’re just a dirty, little Pogue from The Cut and-”

“Shut the fuck up.” JJ commanded through gritted teeth as he grabbed your hips and pushed you roughly against the wall of the pool house. You gasped and your eyes widened.

You and JJ both knew you said what you said to get to this point: You looking up at JJ with a little fear in your eyes as your heart raced and your core clenched. And JJ looking down at you like a wolf trapping his prey as he pressed your body firmly into the wall behind you with a harsh grip on your hips. He stepped in closer to you, pressing his body into your’s to keep you in place as he lifted one hand to grip your chin and smush your cheeks a little bit.

“You run that little mouth of your’s so much and no one ever puts you in your fucking place.”

You let the shock of JJ actually making this move leave as quickly as it came and you pushed back against JJ’s chest with your hands and tried to push his arm away from your face, not wanting to give in so easily. But JJ wrestled with your squirming body and grabbed both your wrists and pinned them on either side of your head. You huffed in frustration.

This caused you both to smile at each other, knowing this is what you wanted. But just in case, JJ loosened his grip on your wrists ever so slightly and looked in your eyes seriously for a second, “Hey, you want this right? Say ‘red’ if you actually wanna stop, yeah?” He asked. You looked in his eyes and nodded.

“Like how far do you want me to take this?” He checked one more time.

“Anything JJ” You told him. And he still looked unsure. “I’ll say ‘red’ if I want you to stop, promise.” And he searched your face for a second, then nodded at you sweetly before he smirked going right back “into character.”

His grip on your wrists tightened as he moved them further above your head so he could hold both of them with one hand and move his other hand to squeeze your chin and cheeks again.

“I know you’ve wanted this for a long time. I see the way you look at me. You think I don’t, but I know you open your window whenever I’m here cleaning the pool, so you can catch a glimpse of me. Or even when you’re with your douche boyfriend and see me on the street. You think I don’t see the double take you do?” He said and you tried to turn your head away from him, but he firmly turned your chin so you’d look at him again. JJ moved his grip to your jaw so you could talk.

“If you noticed all that, that means you were looking at me too. At the beach, you stare at me in my bikini. And I saw you at Boneyard parties watching me dance with my friends.” You told him.

JJ just narrowed his eyes at you, knowing he had gotten caught too. You slipped one of your wrists free and grabbed JJ’s wrist to move his hand from your jaw. But he overpowered you and pinned your arm to your side.

“So if you’ve wanted this for such a long time, why are you still fighting it? Are you this much of a fucking brat for Cameron?” JJ asked, still looking in your eyes before he moved next to your head to whisper in your ear.

You closed your eyes feeling his hot breath hit your ear as he continued, “I think it’s because, unlike me, we both know, he doesn’t give a fuck if he makes you feel good.”

JJ pressed a small kiss just below your ear and then nibbling and sucking on your earlobe causing you to let out the smallest whimper you couldn’t hold back.

“You know I’m gonna make you feel better than he ever has, but you can’t admit that, even to yourself, so you’re gonna resist me as much as you can so you can feel like you aren’t betraying him and being a shitty girlfriend for letting a pogue, none the less, be the one to make you so wet.”

JJ continued, sucking on your neck just a little and speaking again, “And you get to run the show wherever you go and even if you won’t say it, you crave for someone to take control from you and put you in your place. For once, in your god-damned spoiled princess life, you want someone to not let you be in charge.” He finished as he pressed his body against your’s before checking your expression.

You chest was heaving up and down as you breathed heavily being way more turned on having JJ Maybank pin you against a wall than you cared to admit. You glared at him with a furrow in your brow. Then you surged forward. JJ released your wrists and you grabbed a fistful of his hair with one hand and gripped his shoulder with the other as your lips crashed on his. JJ’s hand immediately went to the back of your upper thigh as he hitched one of your legs onto his hip. His other hand was squeezing your torso; his thumb sneaking underneath your bra and skimming the underside of your boob in the most aggravatingly teasing way possible.

Your mouths were already open, tongues wrestling each other, teeth hitting in the process. You jumped up and wrapped your other leg around JJ’s waist as he squeezed your legging-covered thighs.

After the initial surge of adrenaline, you both slowed down a little. You tugged at the roots of JJ’s hair and he groaned a little before biting your bottom lip and pulling away from you slightly, giving your thighs a hard squeeze at the same time.

When JJ released your lower lip, you pulled away from him, “Pool house.” Was all you said before your lips started moving against each other again and JJ walked through the door of the pool house, into the guest bedroom.

He kicked the door shut behind him as he nudged your head to the side to start leaving hot, wet open-mouth kisses along your jaw and down your neck causing you to moan as he let your legs slide down his waist so you were standing again.

His hands gripped your hips as he kept working on your neck while he walked you backwards towards the bed. He gave you no space as you fell back onto the bed and he continued to crawl over you, now taking his time to suck your neck as he propped himself up with arm near your shoulder. The other hand massaging your hip.

“Maybank, no hickeys. …Rafe.” You said. And really you said it for both your sakes, knowing if Rafe found out who you cheated on him with, it wouldn’t be good for either of you, but worse for JJ for sure.

“I really don’t give a fuck.” JJ said as he continued leaving more hickeys along your neck just to spite Rafe even more.

“Take your top off.” JJ commanded.

You rolled your eyes and took your tank top off before JJ’s hand flew to your throat holding it with only slight pressure. “Don’t roll your eyes at me.”  He said calmly and almost teasingly, which only made it that much more intimidating. He knew he was really pushing your limits of being told what to do.

So after the breath hitched in your throat, you just stared at him defiantly in a stand off. JJ raised his eyebrows expecting an answer from you, but you stayed silent, rubbing your lips together firmly, contemplating your next move so JJ snaked his fingers in your hair and slowly but firmly pulled, cranking your neck to the side and eliciting a sigh full of pleasure and pain to escape your now open mouth. “Fine.” You spat out.

JJ let out a dark chuckle. “You’re such a fucking brat. But you love this don’t you?” He asked before dipping a finger in your bra cup and pulling it down so your breasts were exposed to him.

He took a moment to admire them as he squeezed one before going down and swirling his tongue around your other nipple and biting at it lightly. He looked up at you, “You like to push back because you want me to show you how much stronger I am than you. You love being dominated, huh?”

You took a deep breath as JJ put his mouth on your boob and sucked a harsh hickey there, while his hand started playing with the waist line of your leggings teasing you. “You love feeling helpless underneath me?”

He snuck his fingers underneath your leggings and your lace thong but didn’t move further yet, “Answer me.”

And with the anticipation of JJ finally touching you where you need him, the answer easily fell from your lips “Yes” you breathed out.

“Good girl” JJ praised as he ran his fingers through your folds. You let out a pained breath at finally being touched but JJ also saw the way your mouth twitched like you were going to object and then stopped.

JJ chuckled. “You don’t usually like being called a good girl. But you wanna be my good girl, don’t you?” He asked gently stroking your clit, causing you to close your eyes and open your mouth.

Then, JJ abruptly plunged a finger into you, “Don’t you?” He asked more sternly this time.

“Fuck! Yes.” You answered.

“That’s what I thought. Let’s see how much of a good girl you can be. Take off your leggings and your bra and get on your knees.” JJ said as he quickly pulled his fingers from you. And stood up from the bed.

You sat up on the bed and gaped at him as he smiled at you evilly. He knew he was really pushing your limits, but he also knew it was only turning both of you on even more.

“Seriously JJ?!” You asked getting mad about all the teasing.

When you didn’t immediately get up and follow JJ’s orders, he came over and put his hand under your chin as he pulled your lower lip down with his thumb, “Don’t make me tell you twice, sweetheart.” You narrowed your eyes at him, but grabbed his wrist as his thumb released your lip, to pull yourself up from the bed.

JJ took a step back as you stripped down to just your thong. You smiled, catching him indulging himself drinking in your naked body.

“Knees” he reminded you. And before you could even do it, JJ said, “Don’t even think about rolling your eyes.” You gathered all your strength to not be bratty back with a deep breath as you got on your knees in front of JJ.

As much as you had a love-hate relationship with the way JJ was teasing you, being in this position, on your knees in front of him, only made your panties that much more drenched. Your hands wasted no time going to his swim trunks and pulling them down releasing his cock as it slapped up against his stomach. Your mouth was practically watering.

JJ ran a hand through your hair, “Is my good girl desperate to have me in her mouth?”

“Are you gonna keep making me answer questions this whole time or are you gonna let me suck your dick?” You asked bluntly.

JJ smiled, but harshly pulled your hair eliciting a whiny “ow” from you.

“For once, you need to work for everything you get and you need to be the one not in charge Y/N. And then I’ll make you feel better than any guy ever has. But you have to be good.”

“What if I’m not?” you asked innocently, tilting your head to the side.

JJ smiled, “Then there’s just gonna be more pain with your pleasure.” He said simply and then added, “But I’m learning you’d probably like that too. You’re dirtier than I thought. You like being a little slut, huh?”

You contemplated. Wondering if you should give in to JJ or keep resisting.

You looked up at him and nodded, “Mhmm”

He smiled down at you knowing he had won a little. He pumped his cock a few times. “You want my cock in your mouth?”

“Yes, JJ” you breathed out.

“Tell me how much you want it. Work for it.”

You gathered more strength and finally decided to fully submit to JJ’s whole power dynamic.

“JJ please, I want your cock down my throat.” You said, placing your hand below his, around his cock.

“Put your mouth on it baby.” He encouraged. And you licked your lips before running your tongue along the underside of it. JJ took a sharp inhale and gathered your hair in a ponytail as you wrapped your lips around him and swirled your tongue around the head. You took more of him in your mouth sucking as your hand pumped the rest.

“Fuck Y/N.” JJ groaned and threw his head back. Your head bobbed up and down on his length as saliva started to drip down your chin just a little. Each time you went down, you took a tiny bit more of him into your mouth. One hand now running your nails along his thigh.

Finally, you took all of JJ in your mouth and his cock hit the back of your throat causing you to gag. “Fuck” JJ cursed again. He let you be in control for a few moments longer before he couldn’t help but thrust into your mouth.

“Ahh you’re such a good little slut for me Y/N. You take my cock so well.” He told you as he hit the back of throat repeatedly. “Touch yourself baby. Is choking on my cock making you wet?”

You slid your fingers through your painfully throbbing cunt and opened your eyes to look up at JJ and nodded. JJ pulled out of your mouth completely letting you breathe. “You want more baby?” He asked and you nodded your head eagerly.

“I want you to cum down my throat, J” you said. JJ bit his lip and looked at you painfully, having so many places in mind where he wanted to cum. “Fuck” He cursed again as you took him back in your mouth.

“Put your hands behind your back, pretty girl.” He said and you immediately obeyed as he fucked your face. A few more thrusts and JJ was cumming down your throat and you continued bobbing your head up and down on his cock working him through it while you swallowed. JJ pulled his cock from your mouth with a string of saliva connecting the two as you caught your breath. JJ’s body was flooded with a rush of oxytocin motivating him to lift you from the ground and onto the bed.

“Fuck, so good for me baby.” He said, wiping the saliva and cum from the corner of your mouth his thumb and then peppering kisses along your jaw and neck.

You ran your hand through his hair and pulled him away from you for a second so you could kiss his mouth. JJ and you kissed sensually as he held some of his body weight off you and then he started kissing his way down to your stomach.

He left one more gentle kiss just above the waistline of your thong before he put his arms under each of your thighs and pulled you to the edge of the bed while he got on his knees on the ground. He sucked red marks that would surely be turning purple on your inner thighs as he ran his finger underneath the side of your thong multiple times.

“JJ stop teasing and do something already.” You whined.

JJ chuckled, “Someone’s desperate” he teased as he pulled your panties down your legs. 

“Spread your legs for me” He commanded as he wrapped an arm around each of your thighs again and took a long look at your dripping cunt like he was looking at a piece of cake. “Ahh your pretty little pussy is so wet, Y/N. Who are you this wet for?”

“You, JJ.” You sighed out feeling his warm breath hit your core and dying for some physical contact.

“That’s right baby” He praised smugly before giving your clit a gentle kiss and then kitten licks that quickly turned to sucking on your clit.

You immediately threw your head back and closed your eyes at the pleasure. JJ was truly an expert at eating pussy. After giving your clit attention he moved down and fucked your cunt with his tongue causing your legs to clench around him and your hips to move. JJ untangled his arm from under your thigh, and grabbed one of your hands as he laid his forearm across your lower stomach to keep you still. You moved your other hand into his hair, tugging at it and making him moan into you. He then sunk 2 fingers into you and pumped in and out; curling them in just the right way while sucking on your clit again.

You moaned loudly as your legs began to quiver. “Fuck JJ!”

“You’re close pretty girl. Let go. Cum for me.” He told you and you let the rubber band snap and the waves of your orgasm rush over you. You tried to close your legs but JJ kept them open working you through it and lapping up every drop of your cum he could before you pushed his head away gently. JJ stood up and pulled you up to a sitting position on the side of the bed after you caught your breath.

JJ held his fingers dripping in your cum in front of your mouth. You obediently opened your mouth and sucked on his fingers, tongue swirling around them. “Such a good little whore for me.” You leaned forward, loving the way JJ talked to you and he noticed.

He pulled his fingers from you mouth and held your chin tilted up at him. “God, you’re so much kinkier than I thought. You like being called names, huh?”

You nodded and then looked away and blushed. “I like when you call me names. I don’t know why- I-”

“No. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s fucking hot. I love that you wanna be called my little cockslut. That for once you don’t need to be this perfect Kook. You can be a dirty little slut for me.” He said pecking your cheek and rubbing his thumb across your chin. 

Then, he paused for a second like he was hesitant about something but then he said, “Open your mouth for me and stick out your tongue.” He commanded as he pulled down your chin with his thumb.

You did as you were told and stuck out your tongue. JJ bent down a little and spit in your mouth. “Fucking swallow.” He ordered lowly. And you swallowed it greedily, feeling your pussy throbbing again. JJ noticed your legs rubbing together and he grew hard again at the sight of you being turned on from him spitting in your mouth.

“Fuck” JJ cursed to himself for the umpteenth time. Then, he was caught off guard as you pulled him onto the bed and crawled on top of him.

“JJ, I need you inside me.” You told him as you straddled him and pinned his wrists to the bed.

JJ looked at you amused, “Oh you think you’re gonna be on top for this?” JJ asked incredulously. 

You smiled at him. “Yup” you said, as you released one of his wrists so you could line him up with your entrance. But before you could, JJ easily flipped the two of you over and pinned your arms down.

“JJ!” You protested in frustration and tried to sit up or flip over again, but JJ just kissed you hard into the mattress. Then he sunk into you, pulling away from the kiss at the same time to hear your moan as you felt him fill you up.

“Shit y/n/n.” JJ hissed, “You’re so tight, baby.” He laced his fingers through your’s, “Ready?” He asked. You nodded your head. And JJ started to rock his hips slowly into you.

“Faster, J” You told him and he just smirked at you causing you to furrow your brow in confusion.

“Beg for it.” He stated.

“JJ” You warned sternly and you wrapped your legs around his waist to try and get leverage to flip you both over so you could control the pace but it was no use.

“Nice try. ..Tell me I’m better than Rafe and I’ll give you what you want.” He said smugly. You immediately rolled your eyes and JJ stopped completely.

“Wrong move princess. Get on your elbows and knees, ass up.” he commanded darkly as he pulled out of you. You whined at the empty feeling. “I’m not telling you again.” JJ said.

“Relax” You grumbled as you got on your elbows and knees and JJ immediately landed a hard slap to your ass.

“Ow! Fuck J!” You yelled at him. JJ spotted a scarf hanging off the headboard and grabbed it.

“Sit up on your knees. Give me your hands” He said tying your hands together with the scarf.

“Really JJ?” You asked.

“You know, I wonder how hard I need to go to fuck that attitude out of you” JJ wondered out loud as he turned to grab something else.

“Maybe if you actually fucked me hard, you could find ou-” You couldn’t finish what you were saying because JJ had stuffed your drenched lace thong in your mouth making you even more turned on and frustrated at the same time. 

JJ pushed you down onto you elbows and then propped your ass up further in the air. “There” he said satisfied landing another slap to your other ass cheek causing a muffled squeak to come from you.

“You’ve been such a bratty little slut for me. I don’t think you deserve to get fucked. But I can’t resist your tight little cunt.” JJ said sinking into you from behind. “Fuck Y/N” he groaned stretching you out again and then slamming into you hard. He continued thrusting into you and then felt your walls clench a little. “Don’t you dare cum, pretty girl.”

“Please JJ” You whined around your thong. JJ reached around and pulled your panties from you mouth. “What was that sweetheart?”

“Please JJ.”

“Please what?”

“Please let me cum. I’ll do anything.” You begged as he continued thrusting into you.

“Tell me I’m better than Rafe.” He spat out.

“Yes, JJ you’re better than Rafe. Fuck!”

“Are you mine or his?” He asked.

“I’m your’s JJ. I’m a filthy little slut for you. Please!” You whimpered.

“Cum all over my cock, baby.” He told you. Your orgasm hit you hard and JJ fucked you through it and then he kept going and reached a hand around to play with your clit. You whimpered from the overstimulation.

“Fuck J, stop, too much.” You whined. And tried to move his hand away. He used his other hand to pull you up by your hair so your back was flush against his chest. “Fucking take it.” He said through gritted teeth as a second orgasm built. “Cum with me one more time. Be my filthy little cockslut baby.”

You moaned loudly as JJ bit into your shoulder and you both reached your climax again. JJ thrusted slowly as you came down from your highs. He slowly pulled out of you and gently laid you both down. He pulled the comforter over you both as you turned to face him and nuzzled into his neck. He wrapped his arms around you as you both laid together naked and completely blissed out.

“You okay? Was that okay? Did we go too far?” JJ asked with his chin on the top of your head. You leaned back a little so he could see your face.

“That was fucking hot Maybank.”  You said and pecked his lips before snuggling back into him. He let out a relieved chuckle and pecked the top of your head.

As you laid there in JJ’s arms, you felt …free. You reached a hand around to comb through JJ’s hair at the back of his head as you rubbed your thumb back and forth his skin where your hand was on his back. And JJ felt …secure and taken care of.

It turned out that you could give each other what the other one so desperately needed.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 3

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it’s own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You’re Peter’s classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don’t know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you’re lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Peter always unapologetically stealing all the uwus. It’s the MCU law, sorry, didn’t make it. Tony Stark can ✨rail me✨. Enjoy, deviants.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings​ @vozit​ @littlegasps​ @pilloclock​ @shereadsinquiet​

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! She deserves THE WORLD! I’m not kidding. Please visit her and show her some love, my homegirl is stressed 💖✨

I didn’t see Bruce nor Tony for a week. The doctor was away on some science conference (he sent me one dorky selfie next to a whiteboard full of barely intelligible equations as proof), Tony was in California, having some sort of a board meeting. How do I know? Peter, out of lack of better things to do, constantly texted me updates on his science patron’s whereabouts and what-abouts.

In times like these, it took me for a loop - I was on a first name basis with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. In the beginning, I was intimidated - I avoided them both like the plague and tinkered in the lab with headphones on whenever I could, until Tony made a comment so snarky I couldn’t resist joking back. That’s not to say Bruce was a social butterfly, but even he gave into my tomfoolery after seeing me stand calmly throughout several of Tony’s hissy fits.

What amazed me even more so was that despite Tony being literally an insufferable little brat, I still longed after him. Sure, the man was hot as hell - but his physical traits were much less significant when it came to my feelings towards him than the amount of sheer drive and willpower he possessed. He was stubborn - that’s another trait we shared - and unapologetically himself in every damn situation.

I could write poetry about the million expressions in his face, about the shine in his eyes.

But I won’t. He’s a technical guru. Ever since I started hanging around the tower, I became much more conscious about what I posted online. Not to say I had a Stark fan blog or anything, but I’d stopped scrolling through the tag, even if I didn’t actually click on any articles. I dutifully reblogged pictures of Tom Ellis instead - while he was a very fine, distinguished man, he wasn’t Tony Stark. I enjoyed looking at the first and enjoyed being around the other. And even though my feed still had the occasional “I love arm” shitpost, I focused on aesthetic pictures and quotes instead - things I had an active internet presence for.

My personal life wasn’t very interesting. I didn’t have any close friends and any and all sex I’ve had was just a bunch of one night stands, fueled by alcohol, selfish lust and the occasional joint. Despite having a fair share of kind, generous lovers, the morning after left me feeling a little bit emptier every time. I thought about getting a boyfriend or something… But quickly became totally clueless as to where I could find one. Men under twenty-five could barely hold my interest long enough to have a casual chat and I wasn’t naive enough to think there were a lot of honest, well-intentioned thirty-somethings that wanted to date my high school ass.

Peter had a crush on me, I knew that. The boy developed one or another kind of feelings for anybody who showed him the tiniest bit of kindness and it alarmed me. In any other case I would have bailed on him, gently, of course, to spare him the disappointment but my selfishness got in the way. I regretted it every day. A wave of desperation rose in me every time I thought about moving on without seeing Tony or Bruce, without Peter shyly smiling at me as he explained how the things he created worked. A faint hope that one day, his schoolboy puppy love will grow into a brotherly kind of regard was the only thing that kept me afloat in my sea of guilt.

As the Fall rolled around, so did my gloomy mood. It was hard to be sad when the sun was shining and the birds were chirping outside, but with clouds hanging over the city like a lead curtain, the bottled up negativity rose to the surface uninvited. Mother had returned from her business trip, adding an uncomfortable, hollow sort of chill to the house wherever she stood. I don’t know what was worse - the hours we spent in one room ignoring each other or the immaculately structured questions she asked me about my studies and extra-curriculars. Mother didn’t ask me about my friends, or my feelings or any of the other things a mother was supposed to give a damn about.

I was an asset to her company and that was that. If you would have asked her, she would tell you I’m old enough for her to mind her own business - which was technically true. Yet according to her, I’ve been old enough since seventh grade. My dad answered his messages sporadically, sometimes with a two-word answer and sometimes with a cocaine and booze fueled rant eleven texts long. I felt sorry for him. I really did.

My phone was blowing up. Party invitations, likes from people I saw once or twice (“oh my god, you’re, like, so hot, what’s your Insta”), DMs from guys looking to score an easy piece of ass. I never answered. If I wanted to party, I just sort of showed up and everybody went along with it. I took care of my appearance and it showed - never once was I turned away from a party. Everyone wanted to dance, to share their drinks, to light up and get faded together and fade into the city, into the cold air and grey sky.

Skirt swaying and top clinging to my chest, I danced. The sweaty, heated bodies around me did the same. Not one of us cared, it was a Tuesday night and the place packed way too many people. An arm snaked around my waist, startling me. I had to begrudgingly crack open an eye to see the bastard in the dimly lit room.

“I saw you at the bar, you looked bored. Maybe you need something to cheer you up?”

So not a creepy rapist. Just your friendly neighborhood drug dealer. At house parties like these, there was always The Guy. He never danced, he sipped on the same drink all night yet always looked like he was having the time of his life. I was no stranger to the occasional joint, or even something more stimulating…

“I got the good stuff, sweetums, you’ll be fine and dandy in no time.”

Eh, what the hell. I inconspicuously danced with the guy to the middle of the crowd, exchanging a few crumpled dollar notes for a baggie of two pills. In no time, I chased one down with a hastily poured Jack.

The world did become better, as the drug dealer promised. People were nicer, friendlier and I almost didn’t believe mother was a useless, stone cold bitch. I almost didn’t care that I was deeply, madly in love with a man as unreachable as Olympus. If I squinted, the guy sitting at the bar looked kind of like Tony, tan, dark hair, worn jeans and a band tee.

So I danced. I danced and I stared right at him and then we danced some more. I closed my eyes, letting his arms grab me and pull me, I let his beard scratch my neck where he sucked a mark on me, I let his rough palms choke me against a wall in one of the bedrooms on the second floor of the house. It felt good to be wanted. It felt great to be needed as he rutted inside of me, hitting that sweet spot with every twitch of his hips.

It felt lonely when he left, pressing a kiss to my forehead and saying something dumb like “Be good, kid.”. I don’t remember what exactly it was, only that I had to turn my face away from his breath that reeked like weed and vodka.

To shake off the void that made home inside of my chest, I went to the roof to get some fresh air. The house had a nice patio on it - I actually knew the owner - that hosted more plants than I’d care to count. There was an ashtray and an abandoned pack of cigarettes. I greeted the faintly blooming sunrise surrounded by a cloud of smoke, shivering in the autumn mist.

Sounds of the party became less prominent with every passing minute as people geared up to go home and get a few winks of sleep before going to work. New Yorkers weren’t really thoughtful partying on a Tuesday, but then again, neither was I. The city always was busy - even then, at the crack of dawn, the dull throb of a bassline was rudely interrupted by a blaring car alarm followed by dogs barking in aggravation.

The more I sat there, the bleaker everything became. I had enough common sense to know I was just coming off the drug but for once, I had been happy and content for several hours without a care in the world. It had been too long since I felt that way and what’s a little low after a good high?

Mother left for her early conference at five AM sharp, I entered my house at five-thirty, making a beeline in the shower and immediately dumping my alcohol and cigarette soaked clothes into the wash with the smelliest detergent I could find. I gave similar treatment to my body and my hair, using the chemically-smelling products on my body and on my hair, brushing my teeth multiple times.

By the time I was leaving for school, only a faint smell lingered in the air where I’d previously entered, so I set the air freshener to automatically spray the obnoxious mist every ten minutes. Mother gets home at twelve for lunch, that should be more than enough time for any remnants of my partying to disappear into the lilac and lavender fumes.

The Valium I’d popped to deal with the aftermath of Molly made my brain sluggish. One look in the mirror and I hastily put my sunglasses on - the ashen colour of my face and the slightly crazed look wasn’t very complimentary to my complexion. The teacher didn’t give a damn. I stared blankly ahead of me for most part of first period.

“What happened to you? You look like hell!” Peter’s exclamation, while usually would’ve alarmed me, barely made a dent in my stupor.

“I feel like shit, too,” Admit what you can’t deny. Deny what you can’t admit. “I didn’t get any sleep. Like, at all.”

Peter frowned, the crease between his eyebrows growing deeper with every passing second. I flinched when his hand tentatively touched my forehead - the pounding in my temples slowed to a dull throbbing but it was still unpleasant when someone was all up in my space.

“Jesus, you’re as cold as a corpse. Maybe you should go see the nurse,” His worry bled into me too. Like hell I was going to the school nurse! They were specifically trained to recognize the signs of substance abuse.

“I’ll head home straight after school, I think we’ll have to skip our sciencing,” No way also I’d be letting Tony and Bruce see me like this. Oh my God, I was a mess. “Mother’s home.” I added. Even the emotional frostbite I’d get from being around her was more tolerable than being a downer for Peter and Tony.

Peter’s face immediately softened in sympathy. He knew almost everything about my relationship with my family, including him actually seeing my mother that one time. He told me she gave him the creeps and I don’t blame him at all. The stoicism that was required for her work made my mother an unbearable person to exist around outside of her fancy office on the top floor of a glass high-rise building.

“Okay, but promise to text me if it gets worse. You might have caught the autumn bug that’s been going around,” He obviously said the last part to calm himself down. Sweet little Peter, naïve child. I solemnly nodded nonetheless.

When I got home, I went straight to bed. Tony was being Tony, as usual, but in a strangely kind way. I suppose it should’ve made me feel better and it kind of did, but then it went downhill from there. I couldn’t explain why I started crying. I bawled my eyes out at how unfair this god-damned world was and when the doorbell rang… Let’s say, the delivery boy hightailed it out of there once the bag of takeout was deposited into my arms. I looked and felt ghastly.

I ate as much as I could and dropped into a restless nap, drifting in and out of sleep with exhausted exasperation. There had not been a time where I felt so low after popping a pill and I was equal parts alarmed and satisfied. For one, the drug dealer didn’t lie like they usually do - the stuff was good and I still had the other pill hidden away in a bottle of painkillers, inconspicuously mixed with other white pills but shape distinctive enough for me to recognize should I have need in taking it again.

The thought of well, taking it again, was fleeting. I had school tomorrow and a missed science bender to make up for. A few buzzes of my phone later, I felt happier. Better. Not so down anymore. I meant every word that I said - Bruce was very precious, kind and gentle. And so, warm and soft. And totally kissable.

Well, fuck. What do I do now?

[noonaduck]

A boy who cried a wolf

Pairing: human Jungkook x werewolf reader genre: fluff,smut, Supernatural au, fantasy au, angst if u look with microscope  warnings: SEX Words: 10662 A/N: I’m finally happy to present this fic for you guys. I have been working on it for ages and I’m really satisfied with the results. Summary: Once upon a time there was a boy who cried the wolf and the wolf who loved the boy. The wolf was ready to risk everything to be with her human and they boy was ready to face the world he never knew existed. Butterfly Effect m.list

[Gifs belongs to their rightful owners]

Long time ago in a far away land was a village which was only separated by small meadow from  big and dark forest. There was many stories where someone has entered the forest and never returned. The trees were so tall that you couldn't navigate with the help of sun or the stars because you simply weren't able to see the sky over the tree branches. You always laughed to those stories, why someone would be afraid of the forest? The forest was your sanctuary, a calm place which melt your worries away. Ever since you had known how to walk you had been spying the people who lived in the village from the edge of the forest. 

You were always near but not to seen. Your favorite pair of people was two young boys, one with dark brown hair and matching pair of eyes and another with soft blonde cloud of hair and deep dark eyes. 

You enjoyed watching how they liked to run on the meadow among the sheep who were eating the grass lazily.  You laughed when they did and cried when they felt down. You almost felt like they were your friends. Years passed and the boys grew and you along them. Sometimes your big brother came to watch the villagers too but he got bored rather easily and left you alone to enjoy your time.  

You had just turned sixteen and were once again spying your boys behind tree trunks when your first encounter with them happened. It was late spring evening and the sun has started to set when you spotted the familiar faces running towards the woods, when they reached the border between the forest and the meadow they stopped hesitating. 

''Are we really going to do this?'' The older, but funnily shorter, of the two asked looking his friend feeling insecure. 

''I mean, we have came this far, don't you think that it would be too stupid to back out now?'' The younger one says and raises his right hand higher and only by then you notice the dark glass bottle in his hand.

''I ques that you are right.'' The older one agrees and takes a first step in to the forest. His friend follows him right after.

The boys have difficulties to navigate in the darkness but your eyes were used to dark and you knew the forest like you knew your hands, so it was easy for you to keep up with them.  You lightly chuckled when one of the boys almost fell on his face because his foot got stuck on root sticking from the ground.  The boys doesn't seem to be sure about direction and instead they walk aimlessly forward.

''I think the village is now far enough.'' The older one says and glances to the direction of the village, he can't see the village lights anymore.

''I agree.'' The second one says and they happily sit down on the ground, the older one leaning on fallen tree trunk and younger sits on the rock next to him.

''So should we open it?''  The older boy gestures towards the bottle. ''It's not everyday that my sister gets married and our folks brings alcohol on view.'' He adds and your attention turns to their clothing. 

Instead of their usually grey cotton shirts and brown pants with suspenders they are both wearing straight black pants with polished shoes and a white shirts under a west. Only difference in their attires is that the older ones west is brown and younger ones' is deep green.

''One day you have a bride yourself, Miss Park Jimin, that sounds quite nice.'' The younger one teases the another and you can see even though the darkness that the one being teased is blushing.

''I think that Miss Jeon Jungkook isn't bat either.'' Jimin teases his friend who flashes a sheepish smile.  

''Whatever, let's open this thing.'' Jungkook changes the subject and raises the bottle in his hand.

''Hey Jimin, how we are going to open this without a bottle opener?'' Jungkook grins awkwardly.

''I saw once how my father opened a bottle with his teeth, let me try.'' Jimin says and takes the bottle from his friend. 

How foolish. You watch amused how Jimin puts the cork in his mouth and pulls it with his teeth.  At first the cork stays and remains stuck but after few failed attempts and huffs the cork pops open and Jimin almost cracks his teeth while doing it. A strong and bitter smell of booze hits your nose and you flinch. The drinks in your home always smell so sweet and fruity that it's hard for you to believe that someone actually want to drink something like that. Jimin spits the cork out of his mouth and grins.

''Bottoms up.'' He cheers and takes a big gulp of the drink. When the booze hits his throat Jimin couches loudly and closes his eyes. 

Jungkook laughs to his reaction but when it’s his turn to taste his reaction is the same. 

''This is strong stuff, no wonder that your dad usually hides it on top of shelf.'' Jungkook admits and wipes his mouth. 

The boys drink for a while in silence passing the bottle for each other. You get more comfortable and lay down on the forest bed. When time passes the reactions caused by the strong taste of booze weakens on the boys faces and they seem to get more light headed.

''Hey Jimin?'' Jungkook breaks the silence after another sip.

''Yeah?''

''Have you ever wanted to leave our village?''

''Sometimes. I often imagine how I leave my home and began to live as traveling performer.'' Jimin admits his cheeks in pink tint, that may be caused by his confession or the drink. 

''Pfft, you a performer? What would you do?'' Jungkook teases his friend.

''I would sing and maybe dance, who knows. Maybe I would get invited to the palace.''' Jimin shrugs his shoulders. ''What about you? Have you ever considered leaving?''

''Yeah, I have always wanted to be a soldier. I want to bring glory to my country and honor to my family.'' 

You let a small huff escape from your mouth from his confession. Not because you think it's funny but because how accurate it is. You could see in your mind Jungkook in shining armor ready to lead a battle.

''Did you hear that?'' Jimin asks your mistake didn't go unnoticed.

''Did I hear what?'' Jungkook asks and he looks around alerted. 

You start backing up deeper in the forest and in your hurry you miss a fallen tree branch under your feet which makes a sound leading the boys to look in to your direction. You know that you have been spotted when Jungkook's eyes meet yours.

''Jimin! Shit its a wolf!'' Jungkook screams panicked and gets up fumbling 

from his sitting place.

You are frozen to your place too shocked to move and captivated by Jungkook's eyes that you won't even blink before Jimin has also spotted you.

''We need to go!'' Jimin tells and the bottle slips from his hands and falls on the forest ground spilling its insides on the ground.

You are able to recover from your shock and you spin around and start running deeper into the forest. 

You would think that your cover being blown would make you stop spying on the village but it made you only even more curious about humans and the life outside of your forest. What came to Jimin and Jungkook they were punished by their parents  to look after the sheep  grazing on the meadow because they busted in to Jimin's sisters wedding smelling like a booze and crying a wolf.  After all there hasn't been any wolf sighting in fifteen years.

~

It was your twentieth birthday and you were laying on your bed looking up to the ceiling where the ceiling beams were supporting the roof of your cabin. You really weren't in the mood of celebrating even though turning twenty meant that you would be adult in standards of your small community. You hear a soft knock by the door and your big brother, Alpha of the pack, peeks in.

''Can I come in?'' He ask and flashes a kind smile. 

''No.'' You snort but he won't listen to you and steps in. ''What do you want Jin?'' You ask and roll on sitting position on your bed.

Jin comes to sit next to you and ruffles your hair. ''It is a big day, shouldn't you be more excited?'' Jin looks you with genuine care and his honey colored eyes glister in the sun.

You can clearly see why any single woman of the pack would drool after him, his shoulder are wide and his body is strong, his face is sculptured like a angels with soft perky lips, straight nose and soft brown hair cut into mullet.

''What it is to be excited about?'' You groan ''I hate double standards.'' You tell and hug fluffy pillow on your lap.

''It is a tradition to find a spouse for a shewolf if she doesn't have one when she turns twenty. Even our parents found each other in that way.''

''And where that lead to them, unhappy marriage and a mother who ran away with a water spirit.'' You retort sarcastically back. ''I think it's truly unfair that I have to get engaged with someone who I didn't choose.''  

''I thought you were okay with getting married with Mark?''

''I mean he is only tolerable man in the pack but it doesn't mean that I love him.''

''Who you would want instead, that human boy?'' Now it's Jin's turn to sound sarcastic ''And how well that would go? 'Hey I'm Y/N and I have been spying on you ever since we have been kids. Don't be totally freaked out but I have huge crush on you and I thought that we could get married.'''Jin ends his speech with miming your voice and your face twists in anger.

''Get out!'' You yell pissed and throw the pillow at his face.   

''Fine, I go. Being mad at me won't save you from tonight celebration though. Elena will be here in a hour to help you get ready.'' Jin raises his hands for surrender and leaves your room. 

You know that he is right, after all you don't have the guts to defy traditions, right? Surely Mark would be good mate, after all you had known him since you were toddlers. And Jin is right, Jungkook would never want to be with someone like you. You curl in to a small ball and let silent tears fall.  

Jin's words are true when exactly a hour has passed you hear another knock by your door and and a storm also known as Elena arrives to your room.  Elena is your father's new partner who was able to pull your sulking father away from his depression after your mother left. Elena has a dark skin and a matching curls pulled in tight ponytail. She is a curvy woman who's loud laughter easily filled a room and gained attention of others. Elena is wearing tight leather pants with knee length boots and tight white shirt that hugs her in all right places.

''What are you doing still on bed? Come on, your bath is waiting.''  Elena pulls you up the bed and pulls you after her in to the living space of your cottage. 

Your home is small and it only consist on three rooms, your bedroom, Jins bedroom/ office and the living space. There is no bathroom, those are for rich people only and when you have to relief yourself outhouse is the place.  Jin is nowhere in sight and you ques that he has escaped somewhere out of the way. Elena stops you in front of the steaming bathtub of water and starts to loosen strings on the back of your shirt.  

''You should be grateful for your brother, even though he is busy with his Alpha duties he still had time to pick water from stream and boil it for you.'' Elena chatters away. ''Hands up'' She ads and you are barely able to obey when she pulls the shirt over your head.  

As a werewolf idea of undergarments seems rather bothersome, you get naked to sift so often that tucking and pulling those on and of would be waste of time. Soon you are completely naked and covered to your chin in the steaming bath while Elena rubs a soap over your hair.

''How long it has been since you took a bath?'' Elena asks while going through particularly difficult knot on your untamed H/C hair.

''A while, I prefer washing up as a wolf.'' You grin but yelp when Elena pulls your hair too harshly. 

''It's not bathing if you go to swim in your fur.'' She huffs and you roll your eyes. 

Elena keeps chattering about anything and everything while you let her voice buzz in the background of your thoughts. After your bath Elena pulls out a dress and flinch unhappily, dresses weren't your thing even though human women usually preferred them over the pants. The dress is simple and pure white, only to be tied with a belt on your waist. You let helplessly Elena to groom you and you are sitting on stool while Elena goes through your hair with comp when Jin enters again. 

''You look good.'' Jin tells and shows his thumbs ups which gains eye roll from you as an answer.

''Seokjin, why you aren't wearing your formal wear yet?'' Elena lectures Jin who lets out sheepish smile being caught by the woman. In times like these Jin didn't seem like an Alpha at all. 

''I'm just about to get changed.'' Jin tells and escapes to his room. 

''Sometimes I wonder was it a good idea to make him an Alpha so early.'' Elena mumbles to herself and you chuckle at her words. 

A knock comes by the front door and Elena tells the newcomer to enter. A young girls steps in carrying a flower grown in her hands. 

''My mom told me to deliver this here.'' She tells shyly and you can't help yourself but smile to her.

 ''Thank you, please bring it here.'' Elena tells softly and the girl comes to you holding tightly at the grown.

''Would you like to put the grown top of Y/N's head?'' Elena asks and little girls smile widens in excitement.

''Yes please.'' She says and you tilt your head lower so she is able to reach your head.

''Thank you Amber.'' Elena tells and images flashes on your mind, you had seen the girl before playing with her friends in the village center. 

''Thank you.'' You say as well and Amber leaves  the cabin happily giggling for herself. 

Elena pulls a hand mirror out somewhere and shows your reflection to you. You have to admit that you look quite good. Your usually wild H/C hair is tamed into soft curls and your skin is glowing after the cleaning. 

''I look amazing, thank you Elena.'' You gasp admiring yourself from the mirror your E/C eyes looking back at you with full of wonder. 

''You are welcome sweetie. I have to go and get myself already. Me and your father will see you at the party.'' Elena tells and takes the mirror from your hands and puts it on the table. ''You look stunning, everything will go great.'' Elena adds and gives a small peek to your forehead.

~

Distant drumming is reaching your ears and you are shifting from one foot to another nervously. Your future husband, Mark is standing next to you and offering you a calming smile. Mark is slim man with dark hair and his features are mix of Asian and western, his eyes are little bit crooked in typical way of Asian's but his shin is strong and angular. Mark is wearing black leather pants and a short fur coat on his shoulders which is typical part of formal attire in your pack, and a simple plain white shirt underneath. Neither of you are wearing shoes and that rule goes by every party goer tonight.

''Are you nervous?'' Mark asks voice full of worry.

''A little.'' You admit flashing a nervous smile.

''It's just a party.'' Mark tries again to assure you.

''A party where going with you literally means that I have decided to take you as my mate.'' You huff irritated and Mark looks taken back.

''I know that I wasn't your first option but don't rub it on my face.'' Mark barks back and you can see his eyes flash orange.

You take a deep breath and try to calm yourself down. ''You are right, I'm sorry. Let's get this over with.'' 

Your small village is located in a valley surrounded by mountains and rough landscape. If you don't know the route in its impossible to find in. In middle of your village goes a steaming river and get to across it you have to go over a wide wooden bridge. Right after the bridge goes the small town center where the party is taking its place. When you reach the bridge the drumming turns even louder and you can see the torches lighting up the night sky. Everywhere you look at is food and people in their wolf or human form having fun. You are only female to wear white and everywhere you look at you can see women dressed in bright colors, all the men are wearing similar attires to Mark only with some variation of their shirt and cloak colors.

 A small band is beating the drums in the border of the square their bodies following the beat. Someone notices you and points at you followed by loud cheers of the celebrating people.  You wave awkwardly back to the people who you have known your whole life and walk the rest of the way towards the square followed by moody Mark. Still you couldn't blame him after your split up. Who would be excited to get married with someone who wasn't clearly into them? Mark has only accepted to marry you because his visible crush towards you and this being the only way to be with you.

''You are finally here.'' Jin steps out from the crowd and comes towards you with open arms. He hugs you and whispers. ''Even a minute later and I would had made someone to pick you up.'' When he lets go of you there is no trace of his threat and his face is full of smiles. Jin's fur cloak is only one which stands on the crowd, as and Alpha he is wearing a cloak that almost reaches on the ground.

''My fellow pack member today we have gathered here to celebrate my sisters coming to age ceremony and her engagement to Mark.'' The whole crowd goes silent and the drumming stops when their Alpha is speaking. ''As all of you know this party is more than just having fun, it's about making sure that our pack will bloom in the future and bless us with more offspring. Werewolf are one of the species which numbers are getting smaller year by year while humans take more and more space with their growing population. There were times were our kind didn't have to hide and we were free to be what we are but sadly things changed. Humans got scared of us and our powers, where we were winning in power they were leading with numbers.'' Jin pauses and some pack members boo to his words. Jin raises his hand and everyone turn silent again. ''We aren't alone in this situation, other creatures like elves and even vampires are in the same situation.  It's more important than ever to have each other backs and make sure that our culture and us in individuals will remain.'' When Jin ends his speech the grow cheers and the drumming returns. 

Everyone return to have fun and except you to follow after all it's your party and you are expected to be in cloud nine after catching one of the most wanted single men in the pack. Coming to age party is exceptional in that way that almost every other party in the werewolf tradition consist on ceremonies and rules that you have to follow. The chaos and lack of rules in the coming age party is supposed to symbolize the ending youth and beginning of the adult responsibilities.

''I will go to meet my friends.'' Mark informs and slips away from the place and you nod as an answer in your thoughts.

You aren't able to dream for long when Elena and your father reaches you. Your father is in his late fifties, his once light hair turning into grey, he is like older version of your brother to be honest. Your father is limping his right leg and leaning to walking stick. Permanent injuries are rare in the wolf world where everyone heals quickly but your father was trapped under a fallen tree trunk for days before he was found and his bone had ossified in twisted way. The healers of the pack had had to break his leg all over again and it was never the same again even after healing.

''There's my girl.'' Your Father smiles warmly when he stops in front of you. Elena is smiling next to to him holding his free hand. 

''Here I'm.'' You try to sound cheerful but you fail horribly. 

''Where is my future son in law?'' Your father asks and glances around in hopes of seeing him.

''We had a small fight.'' You admit with quiet voice.

''Y/N...'' Your father sighs is disappointment.

''Don't worry about it, I'm sure that Mark is able to recover from it.'' Jin butts in and you glance your brother angrily. 

''Jin is right, after all we all know how smitten Mark is with Y/N.'' Elena steps in to calm your father.

''I guess you are right.'' Your father's face softens again. 

''I bet they will make such a beautiful babies.'' Elena tells with dreamy voice. While your father is agreeing with Elena you slip away in the crowd.

No one really doesn't seem to get you. Everyone is so excited about your marriage and future puppies that they forgot how you are feeling about it. If you could you would run. Run, that one word consumes you and you start pushing your way through the mass of people. Some worried looking pack members tries to stop you but you are too stubborn. You need air somewhere where isn't other wolves. Before you even realize you have sifted in to your wolf form and running all fours towards the beginning of the valley and where the secret passageway to the outside world is located.

You keep running without any particular destination in your mind but soon you understand that you have picked the direction of the nearest human village.  You feel like your heart is about to burst in your chest and you won't stop until you reach the tree line. Your storming mind calms instantly when you see Jungkook laying on the meadow his eyes closed and lips parted. He is supposed to look after the sheep but he is snoring lightly. Your mind goes blank and you crawl closer in your wolf form. People should give more credit to the animals, the sheep won't even flinch when you near the sleeping man, after all they have heard and smelled you over the years when you had spied the village and deemed you to no threat to them. You turn into small ball next to Jungkook and close your eyes seeking comfort in Jungkook's warmth.

 ~

''What the hell I do, there is a wolf sleeping next to me!'' Someone's voice is breaking in to your dreams and you sift annoyed. 

''I don't know, don't be so loud or you wake it up.'' Another voice hurries to answer. This dream is getting rather annoying. ''Should I get your father?'' Your ears twitch and you are more aware of reality.

''So he can kill the wolf? No'' The first speaker sifts next to you and finally you open your eyes. 

You have to blink few times before you believe what you are actually seeing. Jungkook is sitting next to you on the grass his body rolling with fear and Jimin is standing next to him and not in any better shape. For a moment three of you only stare at each other without knowing what to to.

''The wolf is acting rather strange, maybe it is just a large dog?'' Jimin gains the courage to speak when nothing happens.

''No, I'm sure it's wolf. There isn't a dog that huge in this world'' Jungkook answer quickly back. Are they saying that you are fat? You huff annoyed and both men tense again. ''There is something definitely going on with this animal, I mean look at the sheep! They don't even flinch even when their natural predator is right next to them.''

''Perhaps its a werewolf?''

''Don't be an idiot those are just some stupid old tales to scare kids to behave.'' Jungkook tells rolling his eyes to his friend.  Only if you knew... 

You have come to understand that neither of them is going to pull a knife at you or go to ask for help. Maybe your behavior is really that odd for an animal. You get up on all fours and decide to leave just in case they have second thoughts. The men are left behind when you sprint in to run just before the forest line you end up taking a quick look back seeing them still dumb founded on the meadow.  What neither you or the two men doesn't notice is a extra pair of eyes looking after you when you disappear into the forest.

When you reach home you get a lifetime long lecture from your brother how it's disrespectful to leave from your own party even it wasn't a formal event.

''...I was so ashamed to tell to your future husband where you were as an alpha I should know these thing and even more as your brother...'' Jin keeps rambling on and there is no other option than you to swallow and listen.

When Jin finally stops panting you are finally able to put some words in. ''I'm sorry that I left. I will also apologize Mark.'' You tell nervously. There is no chance that you would tell Jin what actually happened during your little escape he would flip even more.

''Oh, I will make sure that you do, but for now you are under house arrest.''

''What the hell, I'm an adult, you can't do that to me!''

''Well you surely doesn't act like a one, so you won’t be treated as such.'' Jin barks back.

''You can't make me!''

''Maybe not as your brother but as your alpha I demand you to stay inside of these four walls until further notice.'' 

''I fucking can't believe you! Did you just use alpha’s command on me?'' 

''Yes I did.'' Jin's voice is firm when he answers but his eyes seem little hesitant.

''I can't stand you right now.'' You tell voice full of rage and go to your room slamming the door shut. Okay maybe you acted somewhat still like a teenager, but you just couldn't take your brother for now.

~

Jin surely kept his word, first two weeks of your house arrest you weren't allowed to leave the small cabin and only company you were allowed to have over was Mark, your future husband. At first your time spent together was awkward after all you had left him on the party but when days passed you were grateful from the company. You and Jin still avoided each other both regretting your fight but both too hard-headed to admit it. When the two weeks has passed you were allowed outside again, but only in the surrounding of your village, you weren't allowed to enter the forest and there was surely no speak about even going near the human village. You finally gained your true freedom when the summer has started to turn in to Autumn and the leaves on the trees started to turn different shades of yellow and red. Your fur's color has started to change color along with the leaves as well.

You still haven't admitted your faults to your brother and he didn't say that he is sorry either but you were having some sort of truce. You start to visit the forest border next to the human village again and time to time you are able to see glances of Jungkook but Jimin isn't nowhere in sight. Even Jungkook seems to miss his friend sighing time to time looking up the sky in longing. 

You are once again spying the humans but you are sad to notice that this time Jungkook isn't spending his time among the sheep and instead the field is out of humans.  You wait for a hour but only human that arrives is some stranger human man who is told to look after the sheep. 

You can see even when is his back against the woods that he is tall and muscular underneath his clothing even though this detail doesn't give you much.

You are about to turn around and leave when you finally hear a familiar voice. 

''Hey Jackson guess what!' Jungkook jells from a long way while he runs toward the meadow.

''You got accepted?'' Jackson answers with smirk when Jungkook stops in front of him panting.

''How did you know?'' Jungkook seems sad that he wasn't able to surprise the another man.

''Well you have been talking about becoming a soldier since you were a little kid.'' Jackson smirks.

''Not just any kind of soldier, I was accepted to trials to train to become on of the new king's guards. Anyone can apply to be a regular soldier and get in but only the best are accepted in to the kings watch.'' Jungkook is full of excitement like a little child.

''When you are leaving?''

''In two weeks. The journey  to the capital isn't a short one.'' 

''Ah, what do I do when both of you are gone? Jimin left to travel as touring performer and now you are also leaving me.'' Jackson sight dramatically. Wait Jimin is gone? You feel angry about how much you have missed.

'' I don't know, keep the mill rotating?'' Jungkook smirks subtly. 

''You know I do.'' Jackson sighs.

You have heard enough and let rest of the men's conversation to go in from an ear and out from another. Jungkook will be leaving the village and your chance with him will be lost forever. 

All this time you had secretly hoped to somehow to be with Jungkook even when you are engaged to another. You can see with your eyes how you will be spending rest of your life stuck in your village, which isn't that bad you love your home, and breeding pups to a man who you don't even love. At that moment you have made your decision, you had to make him to fall in love with you just in two weeks and hope that it was enough to stop him from leaving. Only problem in that was that you have to appear in front of him in your human form and if anything is scary to you then that is. ~ You cringe for your reflection but you had decided that little dressing up wouldn’t make any harm in your quest of charming your knight. You are wearing one of your few dresses, the one fitting for colder weather, and measuring the results. The dress is soft blue with tulle skirt and a matching bow on the back. You had struggled when you had tried to put corset on your own for a first time and with few failed attempts you had managed to put yourself somewhat together. Now the only problem was how you could slip out of the pact village without alerting your brother or the wolves who would be patrolling outside. It was almost dawn and you had thought that best opportunity to slip out without detecting in your current outfit was now. You could hear slight snoring coming from Jin’s room when you tried to sneak through the floor towards the front door. A creaking plank makes you halt when Jin’s snoring halts but you breath in relief when it continues after short pause. You shut the cabin door quietly and sigh in relief, one obstacle down and one left.  You hide behind of huge rock near the stream crossing your village when a patrolling wolf passes you. You hold your breath when the wolf walks past you. You are again grateful for your luck when he doesn’t spot you. Werewolves has heightened instincts but they were also able to move quietly without being detected if they had been training for year and luckily for you being an old’s alphas daughter and current ones sister you had been through many lessons. You walk over the bridge and are able to reach the other side of the village where the passageway to the forest is located. Your journey to the human village is slower than usual after all you don’t want to ruin your outfit by sifting and you have to settle walking on two feet instead. The sun is rising and painting the sky in light pink when you finally begun to near the forest border. You hesitate with your steps when you reach the meadow but collect your courage and step in to human world.  You walk across the meadow and past the sheep and sleeping sepherd to get on the border of the village. There is a low wooden fence separating the meadow from the village area and you cross over it easily. The scents hit you all at once. Usually when you are staying only by the border and meadow the air is full of scent of grass and sheeps wool masking the scents coming from the village. You look around in wonder and note to yourself that the place is slightly bigger than your home village. The roads are made of dirt and the houses are one or two floor buildings made of rocks and the roofs are mainly built with hey. You can see how a baker is opening his bakery putting freshly baked bread on display. The scent pulls you closer and you admire the freshly baked pastries though the window. The baker notices you and gestures you to come in but you shake your head and step away from the window. You didn’t have any human money. When you turn around you hit something and close your eyes hissing. Your head throbs and you rub your forehead with your temple. ‘’Oh, I’m so sorry are you okay miss?’’ You look up and recognize the man fas Jackson who you had earlier seen with Jungkook. Jackson’s eyes were full of worry and he searched your face worriedly. Jackson was carrying a heavy sack of flours on his shoulder and he was heading inside the bakery when you had spun around and caught him by surprise. You had to admit that up close Jackson was even better looking that you first thought but he was nothing compared to Jungkook in your eyes. The man has black hair covered with a brown transmitter cap and he is wearing a matching pants with white long sleeve shirt. ‘’I’m, I wasn’t looking where I was going. I should be the one to apologize.’’ You tell shyly. ‘’Let’s just say that we both are in fault then.’’ Jackson says flashing a small smile. ‘’I’m Jackson by the way.’’ Jackson tells offering his hand for you to shake. ‘’I kno- I mean I’m Y/N.’’ You had almost told him that you knew who he was but he didn’t seem to notice your mistake. ‘’I haven’t seen you around before. It’s rare to see strangers here.’’ ‘’Oh well, I’m just passing by with my brother…’You lie smoothly. If you would have said that you were traveling on your own you would get strange and disapproval looks, you were a woman after all! ‘’I see, where is he now if I may ask?’’ Jackson asks curiously.

‘’Um, I’m sure that he is around.’’ You try to pry him of. The bakery door opens and the baker steps out from the door. Only now you notice how similar his features are to Jackson and you are sure that he is related to him somehow. ‘’Jackson what are you doing? I need the flour, these breads won’t bake themselves.’’ The man tells jokingly.

‘’I’m sorry father I was caught in chatting with Y/-, oh she’s gone.’’ Jackson looks around and you aren’t nowhere to be seen, you had slipped away during his father had caught his attention. You decide to continue your adventure in the village and walk deeper into the center where you can see people waking up and getting ready to coming day. Small shops are opening their doors and welcoming customers in. You stop in front of a window of small tailoring shop and admire the dresses on display. Even though you didn’t wear dresses yourself it didn’t mean that you couldn’t admire them! A beautiful busy looking brown haired woman in her late forties comes by the window inside of the shop and starts to do adjustments on dresses in display but when she notices you she stops and taps on the window. You look her confused and soon she hurries out of the door. ‘’Hey miss, could I bother you for a sec?’’ She ask smiling excitedly. ‘’What do you need?’’ You ask curiously. ‘’You are in perfect size for a dress I’m making, could you model for me a little. I will be sure to pay for your troubles.’’ She tells measuring you with her gaze. ‘’I don’t know if I’m that good model.’’ ‘’Nonsense! Come in.’’ She doesn’t leave you space for argument when she pulls you after her into the small shop. You look around amazed seeing dresses, shirts, pants, vests and other pieces of clothing in different stages of making.  The woman leads you to the mannequin where a beautiful teal colored dress is  on display. The dress has a complicated corset and many layers which make you feel little stuffed even when you aren’t even the one wearing it. ‘’A customer of mine ordered this dress for her daughter’s birthday and I’m sure that you are close to her size. If you could wear it while I make few fixes it would help me a lot.’’ The woman continues while starting to remove the dress gently from the mannequin. You can’t put even a word in when she chatters away the dress. When she has finally removed the dress she pulls you behind the curtain with her and her hands find your dress’ strings. You stop her by putting your hand on top of hers. ‘’Uh Mam, you are eagerly trying to undress me while i don’t even know your name.’’ You tell smiling awkwardly. ‘’Oh, how silly of me when I get excited I keep forgetting to give my name. My name is Jeon Dae but you can call me just Dae.’’ She finally gives her name away. ‘’I’m Y/N.’’ You offer with small smile. ‘’Well it’s nice to meet you miss Y/N, are you still willing to help me?’’ Dae asks hopefully. You almost remind her that you never promised to help her at first place but decide otherwise. ‘’ I will and please just call me Y/N.’’ You agree and Dae gets to work to remove your dress and replace it with her model. For a while you just watch in silence how the woman spins around you a needle between her lips and a few other on her hand while making adjustments with her dress. A small bell chimes and someone steps in to the shop but you cant see the newcomer behind the heavy curtain. ‘’Mother it’s me.’’ You hear a familiar voice and you can swear that your heart stop beating for a second. ‘’I’m in the back with a customer, wait a second.’’Dae yells back. ‘’It’s my son Jungkook, I’m sure that you will like him.’’ Dae tells with smile and looks up from her crouched position from working the hem.

Steps near the curtain and stops in other side of it. ‘’Can I step in? Is the customer properly dressed?’’ He asks hesitating. ‘’Is it okay that my son comes in?’’ Dae asks you and you nod your head in loss of words. ‘’Okay, you can come in now.’’ Dae tells and the curtain is pulled aside revealing Jungkook’s cheerful face. You feel suddenly shy when you are so close to him for a first time and look down your feet. ‘’Jackson’s father send us some pastries as a thanks for you repairing his shirt yesterday.’’ Jungkook tells showing the paper bag in his arms. ‘’That’s so nice of him but he shouldn’t have to.’’ Dae answers with small smile. ‘’Jungkook this is Y/N, she offered to help me with the dress.’’ Dae introduces you turning Jungkook’s attention to you. ‘’Oh it’s nice to meet you, I’m glad that you offered to help my mother.’’ Jungkook tells with fond smile on his lips, he clearly loves his mother. ‘’Umm, it has no trouble at all.’’ You assure smiling shyly. ‘’I’m finally done.’’ Dae declares and looks the dress happily. ‘’The dress is pretty but so is the model.’’ Jungkook tells with a grin. ‘’I know, anyone wearing my clothes look neither dull or ugly but even without it she would be beautiful.’’ Dae agrees. ‘’Kook could you step outside for a little, I help Y/N to change back to her dress.’’ ‘’Sure.’’ Jungkook tells stepping back and disappearing on the other side of the curtain leaving you alone with Dae. Dae helps the teal dress away from you and helps pulling your dress back up. ‘’Jungkook is a great son but I hate that he is leaving me and my husband. On the moment when he told us his dream about becoming soldier I knew he was meant for it.’’ Dae tells smiling sadly. She finishes tightening your dress and smoothes the hem of the skirt. ‘’Okay we are all done. let's go back to the shop’s side. I’m sure that there is pastries enough for you too.’’ ~ When you return to your home the sun is already setting and you know that you are in trouble if Jin catches you. When you open the front door of your home Jin isn't the one who is waiting you. Mark is sitting on kitchen table and his head shot up in the moment he hears the front door opening. ‘’Where have you been and why you smell like that human.’’ He asks angrily getting you of guard. You have never heard Mark so unhappy. ‘’I was out. And I don’t know who you are talking about.’’ You tell putting your arms above your chest in defending manner. ‘’Y/N please, I know that you have been spying that human for a while now. I even followed you when I saw you sprinting away from you coming of age ceremony and you went to sleep next to him in your wolf form! I don’t know what’s wrong with you. I was ready to bark in any moment the men even looked you wrongly but you clearly didn’t care yourself enough to stay away.’’ Mark is almost yelling and he has started to stand during his speech. You look him with your mouth hanging open and only noise escaping from you is you shocked breathing. You are finally able to pull yourself together and speak. ‘’How long have you been spying on me?’’ You ask quietly your voice trembling. ‘’Long enough to know that we aren’t working.’’ Mark tells and falls back on his chair like all strength is escaping from him. ‘’Mark I’m sor-’’ ‘’Don’t you dare to say that you are sorry.’’ Mark glances you angrily. ‘’When your brother arrives home I will call our engagement of and you can be happily the first she wolf to break her pack traditions.’’ Mark tells with colorless voice. ‘’But I-’’ ‘’Y/n save it, could you go to your room I just can’t stand to be around you.’’ Mark tells and you obey him quietly. When you are about to close your bedroom door you swear that you can smell the salty scent of tears in the air.       When Jin arrives home and hears the news from Mark he is anything but pleased but when he is ready to yell at you after opening your bedroom door he changes his mind after finding you crying quietly on your bed. ‘’Hey, are you okay?’’ Jin asks and sits next to you on your bed. ‘’Do I look like I’m okay?’’ You bark for your brother’s question. ‘’I have ruined everything and when everyone in the village will hear what happened I will be a laughing stock.’’ ‘’No one dares to laugh at you, I make sure of it.’’ ‘’It’ doesn’t help that you are an alpha on the moment you turn your back the gossips will start again. ‘’ You tell shaking your head. Jin looks you back silently and begins to stroke your cheek. ‘’Do you know why she wolfs are forced to mate when they turn twenty?’’ he suddenly asks quietly. ‘’Because it's stupid tradition.’’You sniff. ‘’Well that too but there is another reason for it. When she wolf falls in love her hear can’t be changed. We usually pick mates for females because if she falls in love nothing can ever change it. If their mate dies or leave them it leads more often to death than not. I don’t like it either but male wolves doesn’t have the same problem, perhaps it because the survival of the species is on stage that they aren’t that deeply bonded like females are. We still love in our own way but our feelings are more humane when she wolves follow more their wolf sides. Our mother was able to leave our father because she wasn’t really in love. We try prevent she wolves for truly loving because we want to protect them.’’ Jin tells and you look him with wide eyes. ‘’Then the tradition is even more confusing. What if the she wolf is in love with the person she is meant to marry.’’ ‘’The divorce rate is really low if you haven’t noticed. If the couple loves each other that's great then but if they don’t male wolf rarely leaves in fear of breaking the female’s heart. I only wanted you to marry Mark because I feared losing you. I clearly didn’t realize how much you love that human.’’ Jin smiles sadly.

‘’I’m truly regretting to force you go through all of this.’’Jin tells and pulls you in to his embrace. You begin to cry again this time your tears aren’t quiet and you are crying loudly while your nose starts leaking along your chin and making a mess on Jin’s shirt. Still either of you cares or move. On that night jin sleeps next to you for a first time since your childhood while hugging you and whispering sweet nothings to your ear. ~ Even though your break up with Mark broke you a little you also feel relieved that pressure of your marriage has been lifted from your shoulders. JIn was the one to tell your father what has happened and you had been avoiding him in fear of judgement. You were once again heading for the human village only few day after your last visit when you had met jungkook in person for a first time. This time you had given up wearing a dress and were wearing a more comfortable attire, ap pair of leather pants and a black shirt paired with brown jacket. When you arrive on the meadow you raise your brows in surprise. You really didn’t except finding Jungkook practising with wooden spear against a doll made of heavy and a bright red target painted to it chest. Jungkook was sweating and panting heavily while practising strikes and dodges with the target. ‘’Hi.’’ You approach Jungkook waving shyly at him. ‘’Hi, where did you came from?’’ Jungkook asks panting and swiping a sweat from his forehead. His shirt is wet with his sweat and clinging dangerously to his chest revealing his abs. You try not to stare but are caught if you can say anything about Jungkook’s satisfied smirk. ‘’I was just hanging nearby,’’ You tell trying to avoid the subject. ‘’So what are you doing?’’ You try to change a subject and it seems working. ‘’I’m practicing for a test to become one of the King’s watch.’’ Jungkook tells. You act like you have heard it for a first time.’’ A king’s man that sound exciting but don’t you think how it's weird that no one has seen the king's face?’’ ‘’I know that the king is wearing a mask but so is his closest servants.’’ Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. ‘’I think he must have a good reason for it after all he has been a good king for past eight years.’’ He continues sounding certain. ‘’Well if you say so…’’ ‘’If he trusts me enough maybe one day I will be able to see his face.’’ Jungkook beams with excitement. ‘’Maybe. Hey I noticed few mistakes with your postures, do you mind if I help you?’’ ‘’Sure.’’ Jungkook agrees surprised. You take the spear from his hands and straighten your posture. Jungkook watches quietly your movements and admires you in seacret. He had thought that you were a pretty while wearing a dress but now you were even prettier while moving confidently with the spear in your hands.   Ever since that day you had showed up in early morning to practice with Jungkook and even at some point Jackson joined you after recovering from the surprise that you knew each other. The two weeks deadline was almost over but you tried not to think about it and spend all your free time with Jungkook. Even if he was suspicious from your origins he didn’t say anything and instead enjoyed spending time with you after all his best friend has left and he has been feeling lonely despite of Jackson offering his company. With you he felt close as he felt with Jimin and maybe even closer in some ways. Without even noticing Jungkook's feelings had developed into more deep than a friendship. You were following Jungkook into the woods giggling. You both were tipsy after Jungkook had bought a booze into today's training session and you both had felt the effects. Somehow you had thought that hide and seek in the forest would be a good idea so now you were hiding behind of huge spruce hardly able to hide your laughter. Even though the taste of alcohol Jungkook had offered wasn’t that good it was quick to get you both drunk. You laugh loudly when you feel arms around you and Jungkook raises you from the ground spinning you around. 

‘’Kookie put me down!’’ You laugh and Jungkook obeys with a low chuckle. You are spun around in Jungkook’s arms and you both look each other breathing heavily. Jungkooks lips finds yours and you answer hungrily for his kiss. Even though you are insecure with your actions and your kisses are more sloppy than his he doesn’t seem to mind. You pull away panting and smile at each other. ‘’I have wanted to do this for a while now.’’ Jungkook tells gaining courage from the alcohol. ‘’Me too.’’ You admit shyly. ‘’Good.’’ Jungkook answers and peeks your lips again. His hands begins to wonder on your body and measuring all of your curves. When Jungkook’s hands stops on your butt giving you a squeeze you gasp softly. ‘’Is this okay?’’ he asks stopping his actions. ‘’Yes, please keep going.’’ You beg and Jungkook is happy to oblige.  His hands pulls hem of your shirt and slides underneath of it his thumbs brushing your skin slightly making you shiver. Jungkook presses himself harder against you and you can feel his hardening bulge against your lower belly. Jungkook’s lips finds your once again and you move against his in slow rhythm. You are feeling a new things in your body that you haven't before but you are definitely enjoying them. ‘’Jungkook.’’ You whine against his lips. ‘’Tell me what you need.’’ Jungkook tells his voice husky. ‘’I-I’m not sure.’’ You admit embarrassed. ‘’It’s okay, I got you if you let me.’’ Jungkook smiles softly. ‘’I trust you.’’ You admit and it is all he need as permission to push you against the tree behind of you. Jungkook’s hands find your pants and slides gently among the trim. He slips his index finger in slowly his face observing your reactions for a whole time. You part your mouth slightly when Jungkook’s finger slides on your outer lips. ‘’Tell me if you want me to stop.’’ He tells and dips his finger between your folds. Jungkook moves his finger around your clit collecting your juices with him. You shudder when he adds his thumb into the mix rubbing your clit lightly. You feel your stomach making flips and a moan escapes your lips.You try to keep quiet biting your lip bu Jungkook stops you. ‘’No let me hear you.’’ He tells and you obey letting even the smallest noises to escape your lips.  Jungkook slips his index finger slowly into your hole and it sucks it right in and it's no wonder after all you are getting really soaked.  At first you feel uncomfortable with the invasion but your displeasure is quick to turn around after he starts to pump his finger in and out slowly while his thumb keeps working on your clit. Soon you need more and tell that to Jungkook who slips second finger inside of you. This time the stretch is wider and you cling to Jungkook's arm while he keep working to bring you nearer to your peak. ‘’I think I’m close.’’ You moan and squeeze his arm tighter in your fist leaving small half moon mark from your nails. ‘’Y/N it’s okay to let go, come for me.’’ Jungkook assures and presses his thump harder against your clit while moving his fingers and finally you snap. You mewl loudly when you are pushed over the edge and you close your eyes almost falling from the intensity of your orgasm. Only thing keeping you up is the tree trunk behind of you and Jungkook's strong hands which have left your pants. When your high finally settles you look Jungkook panting. ‘’That was amazing.’’ You tell your eyes wide from emotion. ‘’I’m glad you think that. Y/N I’m late to ask this but are you a virgin?’’ Jungkook asks blushing. ‘’Oh, I’m.’’ You admit blushing. ‘’That’s okay, I had to know so I go slow.’’ ‘’We aren’t done?’’ You ask surprised. ‘’Not even close.’’ Jungkook smirks. ‘’Can I remove your pants?’’ He asks his hands wandering to your waist. ‘’Okay.’’ You are quick to agree after the pleasure you just experienced. You being a werewolf have made you used to being naked with other people and that fact also helps you with your shyness. Jungkook kneels to remove your boots and then pulls your pants away from you legs. You feel embarrassed after your juices clings to your pants and thighs but Jungkook just shakes his head slightly and smiles. Jungkook pulls his pants lower freeing his member and you can’t help but stare. His member is already leaking with precum and his tip is angry color of red. ‘’Turn around.’’ Jungkook tells and bend you slightly so you are taking support from the tree your ass on display. ‘’You have a really pretty butt.’’ he tells and smacks it slightly which makes you moan. ‘’Oh you like to be spanked? We can explore that kink later but right now I need to be inside of you or I will literally explode.’’ Jungkook spears your legs wider so he fits better in between of them and slides his cock up and down your outer pussy lips to collect your juices. He pushes the tip of his member in making you sift and whine in discomfort. ‘’Do I need to stop?’’ Jungkook asks halting.

‘’No, just be slow.’ You assure already feeling the familiar heat in your belly. Jungkook obeys and slides inside of you slowly spearing you wider. When he is fully seated he halts and brushes your hair out of way kissing you neck. After you feel comfortable enough you speak. ‘’You can move now.’’ Jungkook is quick to follow and slides almost all the way out and then slides slowly back in. He repeats the motion for few times until you get impatient. ‘’Go faster and harder,’’ ‘’Are you sure?’’ ‘’I'm just please Jungkook I need-’’ You moan when his thrust gets more speed and strength. ‘’Say my name again.’’ Jungkook tells burying his hands into your hips so hard that he is surely leaving marks. ‘’Jung-kook.’’ You pant when Jungkook pounds inside of you without mercy.  Jungkook moans for that and for a while only sounds that fills the forest are your both needy moans. You feel the tightening feeling nearing you again. ‘’I’m close.’’ You warn and Jungkook's hand sneaks around your body to find your clit. With the extra simulation you came seeing stars behind your eyelids. Your insides squeezing Jungkook’s dick hard like a wine makes him careless and he comes right there inside of you. Jungkook pulls away from you shuddering his seed leaking out of your used hole. Jungkook curses and blames the alcohol for him being careless. ‘’What’s wrong?’’ You ask after you come back to the ground again. ‘’I came inside of you.’’ Jungkook tells feeling guilty. ‘’Oh, its okay I can’t get pregnant right now.’’ ‘’How you are so sure?’’ Jungkook asks worriedly. ‘’I just am.’’ You assure, you can’t just tell him that you can’t come pregnant outside of your heat. A small yawn escapes your lips and Jungkook spins you leaning against the tree so you are facing him again.  Jungkook helps your pants back up quietly and adjust his own. He pulls you on the ground him leaning against the tree this time and putting you to his lap without caring the coldening air. You yawn again and relax in his arms. You are almost asleep when he whispers. ‘’Don’t worry if you got pregnant i take the responsibility.’’   Next morning you wake up in Jungkook’s loud scream of horror. You open your eyes your body in full alert and ready to attack anyone who is threatening you. ‘’Oh my god, did a wolf eat Y/N last night and I didn’t hear a thing?’’ He shudders and backs of crawling from you. You look him with wide eyes feeling confused when it hits you at once. you had changed in to your wolf form while sleeping your previous night's clothes torn around your form. You curse at yourself, you never turned in human if you slept as a wolf but it happened sometimes other way around. You try get in to standing position but Jungkook shakes even more in fear seeking his belt and a knife which is hanging there loosely.  At that moment you know what you have to do. Your bones start cracking and joints popping in front of Jungkook when your fur crawls back inside revealing a human skin. When your change is complete Jungkook looks you with shock. ‘’Y/N!’’ He whines and faints on the ground. You carry Jungkook’s unconscious form on the border of meadow and run away in your wolf form back to your village. You run through your village as fast as your paws carry you and bark in to your home to find Jin reading a book in the living area. ‘’Y/N what’s wrong.’’Jin asks worriedly and gets up from his seat. You sift in front of him without caring being naked and Jin covers his eyes quickly picking a blanket from one of the seats and throwing it at you. ‘’In sake of Luna cover yourself.’’ Jin screams. There is some limits that even werewolves follows and the one is being to avoid seeing your siblings naked even though you can’t sometimes avoid it. You are just in too big shock and denial to register your actions fully and you would surely be ashamed later on. You tie your blanket tightly around you and only by then Jin looks back at you again. ‘’Jin.’’ You cry and walk to your big brother's open arms. ‘’Tell me what’s wrong pup.’’ Jin uses a nickname that he hasn’t used in years. ‘’Jungkook knows what I’m now.’’ You tell crying and Jin keeps hugging you and petting your hair. ~ You return to the human village and this time Jin is following you in his wolf form just in case. It's the day that Jungkook is supposed to leave to the capital and you are terrified of losing him.  You don’t expect much but feel warmth spearing through your body when you see Jungkook sitting in middle of the meadow staring the forest deeply in his thoughts. He has a heavy bag back next to him and he is weared for a traveling. Jin snuggles you with his snot to step out of the woods and he stays behind waiting for you. When Jungkook sees you stepping out of the forest he gets quickly up from the ground. You stop leaving a space between of you and Jungkook so he would feel more secure. To your surprise Jungkook takes a closing steps and without a word pulls you into his embrace. ‘’I thought that I wouldn’t see you again.’’ he breathes into your hair and loosens his hold so he can see your face. ‘’I thought that I would scare you.’’ You say confused. ‘’You could never scare me. I admit I was shocked and didn’t take it well but I felt really broken after I woke up alone and you were nowhere to be seen.’’ Jungkook admits. ‘’At least now I know the wolf who was so brave to sleep next to me.’’he adds with small chuckle. ‘’I’m happy that you feel that way.’’ You admit and glance his bag sadly. ‘’Are you leaving?’’ ‘’I have to but I promise to get you when I can.’’ Jungkook tells feeling guilty. ‘’It’s my dream to serve the king.’’ ‘’I know.’’ You smile sadly and a tear slips from you eyes. ‘’I will always come back to you my wolf girl.’’ Jungkook tells pressing his lips against your he also crying. A bark from the forest line pulls you apart and you see your brother who has stepped out form the meadow and gesturing you to follow. ‘’It’s my brother.’’ You tell to confused Jungkook. ‘’Oh.’’ Is all that Jungkook can say measuring the huge wolf in front of him. Even though he said that he accepts you it doesn’t mean that he adjust in a seconds. ‘’I will be always waiting you by the treeline.’’ You tell stepping away from Jungkook. ‘’And I will be always calling my wolf.’’ 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #457

“blue are the words i say and what i think  /  blue are the feelings that live inside of me”

Do you buy your lingerie at Victoria’s Secret? No. That shit is so overpriced and not for my size group. Would you ever use an online dating service? I never would again. Are you good at multitasking? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Have you ever eaten Frosted Mini Wheats? Ugh, those are so gross. What does your bikini look like? You think THIS bitch wears a bikini??????????????????????? Does age really matter in a relationship? To an extent, yes. How much does the last person you kissed mean to you? I honestly don't even know if I'd be here without her. Almost like magic, Sara popped back into my life right after I returned home from the hospital following my suicide attempt. She helped make recovery possible as a solid source of support. Do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough. My skin is so dry; I need to. Do you believe in teenage love? I experienced it deeply and thoroughly, so yes. Have you ever sat on the roof of your house? No. Do you like Sublime? I like that one popular one of theirs. "Santaria" or whatever it's called? What’s your favorite movie genre? Paranormal horror, especially the "found footage" type. It's creepy to imagine it being actually real. Is there a celebrity that you’d be willing to have a one night stand with? If he was single? I know in my gut I would lmaooooo Do you want to live in your current town the rest of your life? OH MY GOD PLEASE NO If you found out today your best friend was gay what would you do? She's demisexual, so. She can like anybody. If you could get a pet for free today-what kind/what name? A tegu, because it wouldn't need an enclosure that I don't have. I'd let it free roam. God, I can only imagine Roman's reaction. How many people have you slept with? If you mean what I think you do by "slept," one. Do you ever wish you had a family business to become a part of? Not really. What’s the most gruesome way you could come up with to kill someone? Hunny, have you seen my dark RP????? The world best be glad I'm a pacifist lmfao Do you think anyone deserves to die that way? I don't believe in torture, so no. If you had to fight for survival, what would your weapon of choice be? A gun, I guess? I'd want something with range and that's quick. I wanted to say a bow and arrow, but preparing another arrow after shooting once could really cost you your life. Where did you buy your favorite pair of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog, period. If not, are you afraid of them? No, I love big 'ole puppos!!!!! I just don't wanna own a dog myself. Are you good at playing darts? Holy fuck no, I have NO hand-eye coordination. I once stabbed the guy at a balloon popping booth thing with a dart in the arm, if that tells you anything, ooooooooooof. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? YESSSSSSSSS omg Do your parents know that/if you smoke? They know that I don’t. Have you ever been under a blacklight? Omg so in elementary school, we did this thing once where we all washed our hands as best we could and then put them under some sort of light (maybe a blacklight, idk???) to see JUST how resilient germs are. You gotta scrub the fuck out ya hands, people. How many pounds do you want to lose? I'd rather not share a number, but a lot. What’s your favorite natural phenomenon? The Northern Lights. Do you snore? Very surprisingly for someone with sleep apnea like mine, I actually don't. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? Off the very top of my head, one, but it's spelled differently. I KNOW I know of a shitload more Brittanys, though. Is it possible you could be pregnant? Well, I haven't been intimate with a man in years and just finished my period, so like- Could you go a day without texting? I go most days without texting. Do you have a step-parent? My dad is remarried, so yes. If so, do you get along with them? She's EXTREMELY Christian, so her beliefs wildly disagree with mine, but I keep my mouth shut a lot just to keep the peace. She IS a very sweet woman, nevertheless, and am glad she and my dad are so happy together. Does your current/last job require that you wear a uniform? My last job (which lasted not even two hours lol) did. When will your driver’s license expire? My permit has been expired for like... two years. Do you live in an apartment? No. If the last person you kissed proposed to you what would you say? That's too wild a concept to even imagine. I'd probably ask if she was okay lmao. Would you ever get back with one of your exes? Weeeelp, I want to get back together with Girt. Pretty badly. Write a foreign word, and what it means: "Schadenfreude" is a German term that essentially means secondhand embarrassment, but it doesn't have a perfect translation. Is there an ex you think about everyday? Inevitably. That's PTSD, my friends. Who is the last person that you said I love you to, besides family members? Sara. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Something along the lines of "no one could ever love you like I do." It boils my blood just typing that; I considered even deleting this question. That quote right there is fucking manipulation, even IF I thoroughly believed it. Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? I don't feel like looking. Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? It's weird, I'm into slightly older-than-me guys, but probably girls who are barely a bit younger than me. Have you ever been used? I don't think so. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Like I've said in plenty of surveys: Jason is probably a permanent fixture. But also as of the past two days, Girt's been living up there. I went from "hmmm I just don't know how I feel" to "FUCK I want to talk to him about how stupidly into him I am right this fucking INSTANT" pretty goddamn fast. It kinda scares me just because of how extreme my feelings are. Again. That's only ever gotten me hurt. Buuuut let's not get into that. Have you ever got caught cheating on a test? No, because I've never tried to. Will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope it won't be. But it's not like I know the future. Have you ever worn an oxygen mask? Actually yes, when I was young and thought I was having an asthma attack or something. Mom had one for her own asthma. Then I obviously wore one for surgery. What song do you want to be played at your funeral? "Paradise" by Coldplay is absolutely #1. How many swear words are in the song you’re listening to? I'm not listening to music; I'm back to watching Gab play Sekiro. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same sex, and if so, who? Yeah, just Sara. Who did you last tell to ‘shut up’? Ha, I think my WoW friend Lyndsey, but only playfully, of course. We pick fun at each other all the time. Would you ever get a tattoo of a boyfriend/girlfriend's name? NOOOOOOOOO. Are you one of those girls who already have baby names picked out? I know what I'd name my kids IF I actually wanted any, yeah, but I don't. Do you think guys with long hair are attractive? Yessss, I love long hair on guys. Are any of your siblings taller than you? I think Ashley is a liiiiil bit taller? I know my brother is, for sure. Have you ever scared someone so badly that they cried? Yikes, no. When was the last time you wore high heels? Boy oh boy, no idea. Is there someone that you want to hurt right now? Jeez, no thanks. What was the most interesting or colorful birthday cake you’ve had? I don't remember, but I'm sure something from childhood. What was the last thing someone bought you? Was it expensive? Mom bought me food from McD's, which obviously isn't expensive. Do you have any interesting moles anywhere you don’t want people to know of? No. Have you ever gotten high or drunk in a really formal place? Strong "no" there. Do you ever write poetry and post it on any certain websites? On the very rare occasion I write poetry and actually like it, I'll sometimes post it on dA. What do you miss most about your childhood? Actually, genuinely having fun and not dealing with fucking anhedonia. Would you like to know the precise date of your future death? Hell no. Do you photograph well? I'd like to hope so. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? Maggots and similar bug larvae. What super power would you refuse, if it was offered to you, and why? Mind reading. It just sounds... awful and overwhelming. What’s your favorite discontinued product that you wish would come back? Oh, I KNOW I have answers to this, just none are coming to me immediately and I don't feel like sitting here for five minutes thinking about it. If adults had show and tell, what would you bring into work? My snek! :') If you had a reset button for the last 10 years, would you press it? Tempting, but... I don't think I would. I cannot go through how deep my depression was again. Who is someone you would never swear in front of? My nieces and nephew. Yes, I don't believe in profanity being a "thing" and is just a stupid human fabrication, but nevertheless I acknowledge societal standards and expectations, and they're way too young to get when you shouldn't say something like that and why. Have you ever won a contest or competition? A few. Who is your favorite TV character? I don't think I really have one? Do you coo over other people’s babies? Not really, no. Sometimes I'll think they're super cute and be like "awww," but I don't like... squeal and spaz like some people do. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? Steve Irwin got me deeper than anyone else. Chester Bennington hit real hard, too. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? Most of my closest ones, yes, at least via Facebook. What’s a movie that you want to see? Old movie, but Jacob's Ladder. It was a massive influence on Silent Hill, so naturally, I'll probably love it. It's a classic, anyway. Do you use the same username everywhere online or do you have a lot? I use "Ozzkat" in most places, but I do have some other ones for different sites. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? My friend Ana recently revealed she's expecting her second child, a boy. What fad were you actually into? I have zero clue. Have you ever tailgated? Would you want to? Fuck no. That's how so many wrecks happen. My sister legit got in a wreck with an 18-wheeler mostly because she was tailgating (which she does BADLY); she was trying to pass, and he moved over at the same time because he couldn't see her coming around. It's a borderline miracle she got out with only some cuts, bruises, and a seatbelt burn. Have patience, people. Get off cars' asses. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Look, don't get me started on this. There are a shitload of reasons and I have been way too emotional over this the past few days laksdfja;lwke What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel w/ cream cheese for breakfast. Do you ever pick up your house phone? We don't have a landline phone. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? Personalities, for sure. I cannot be into you if your personality isn't attractive.

[wesimpforxiao]

My Backstory (IRL)

Before I begin, if you want nothing to do with hearing about abusive relationships, possible eating disorder, anxiety disorders/depression/suicide, sexual assualt, manipulation, gaslighting, sexual harassment, etc, SKIP THIS POST.

So, I would like to start off by saying the NSFW content I *try* to write always falls stale, 1. being because I get embarrassed or ashamed by my writing my own thoughts, and 2. because of the rest of this post.  So the Albedo NSFW may not happen, but I asked just in case (i have some of it written out, but it is very stale).  And also because I may or may not have accidentally triggered a trauma response as I was writing the Albedo post (oops...)

To begin, freshman year of high school, 14 yrs old, (I’m 20 and in college now), I started dating this guy that was in my grade.  I have an anxiety disorder, so when we started going out, I immediately stopped eating because I constantly felt sick to my stomach.  It wasn’t because I thought I was fat or anything, I just felt sick.  Think butterflies in your stomach times 10 and ALL the time.  We dated for a month before he broke up with me.  During that time, he had suddenly brought up the idea of me sending nude or bra/undie pics to him.  Him and his friend (who was in the call with us) tag-teamed and said that it was normal and asked when I would be ready to send pictures.  Both of them asked that.  Red flag number one.  I said 3 months just to please them, not that I was actually going to do it.

Once he broke up with me, I was DEVASTATED. I feel A LOT, and it was my first ‘relationship.’ Exactly a month later, he texted me, saying he wanted to be friends.  I said okay.  He never acknowledged my presence at school, often avoiding my eyes.  Sometime into that he had asked me what I would do if he had asked me out again, and when I said I’d say yes, he immediately texted back and said “i am so sorry, my friend [insert name] was texting you on my phone and I didn’t know until now.”  Red flag number two.

Then, after we had stopped being friends, a month passes.  He texts me again, this time saying “It’s been 3 months.”  Yeah.  Did you read the part where I said I’d consider sending pictures at 3 months? That only applied if we were dating for that long (and I still wouldnt do that), so where is his logic?  Now, I don’t know why I even got back together with him, but I did.  For a week.  And just like the first time, I felt sick to my stomach.  I always look back on this as a warning from God.  And this time, he wasn’t hiding his intentions.  He was CONSTANTLY making sexual jokes, sending inappropriate emoji ‘jokes,’ and asking for nudes.  He did not stop asking even when I told him to, and even when I told him it made my stomachache worsen.  I did not trust him, but I stayed for a full week of hell.  Eventually I slightly caved, showing him on facetime me in my bra and underwear (My thinking: he couldn’t save pictures that way).  He covered his camera.  Did he take screenshots or something? I don’t know.  It was awful.  I kicked him to the curb the next day, still feeling like *I* should be the one apologizing.  He eventually “tried” to apologize thru text, but was too much of a coward to apologize in person when i requested that.  He says he had cancer or something, I honestly don’t care. His actions were inexcusable and it was pathetic that he used it as an excuse.

I hated him so strongly for the next 3-4 years, but the story doesn’t end there.  A new guy, senior, 17 yrs old.  End of my freshman year.  We get together.  He didn’t properly ask me out, just assumed we were dating after we confessed our feelings EVEN THOUGH I told him my dad said to wait 3 months.  Red flag number three.  So, by the bf’s standards, 6 months into the relationship, I stay over at his place for New year’s.  I will admit that we did stuff over the phone prior to then, but I consider to be fine with that timeline.  At some point while we were planning to do stuff (if ya know what I mean but NOT full on hoo-ha stuff okay) for New year’s, he said “Who knows, maybe we’ll get carried away ;)” Red flag number four.  This immediately made me uncomfortable, and I was not fully comfortable when the day came either.

We were making out (consensual, but I feel like i was forcing myself a bit), I let him touch me down *there* (which he sucked at lemme tell ya) (also it was fine when he touched me before this day), and then he asked to touch my chest.  *Previously, he had stated if i wasnt sure, hed touch over my bra first and go slow.  He did not do either, instead immediately slipping his hand under my bra.* That is when something inside me snapped, and I felt number than I already was. Red flag number five.

I didn’t stop him because I wanted to feel something, anything.  I got nothing.  And then came the time when he decided to say “Now its your turn,” grabbed my hand, and put it down his pants, ignoring me, who was saying “I don’t know how to, I’m not sure I want to.”  

I felt nothing for a few days, and then depression set in.  It didn’t feel connected to that incident, and i didn’t connect the dots until later.  It got so bad I had almost decided to kill myself three months later.  My anxiety was through the roof, and every day my trauma manifested itself in the question “Do I actually love him?”  It was a living hell to be inside my head all the time.  He at one point asked me “Are you sure you were okay with what happened on new year’s? You’re acting like you’ve been raped.”  When I said I wasn’t, he said “oh.” and we never talked about it again.

The relationship continued for another year despite my obvious depression and anxiety that revolved around him. He lied to me on several occasions, disregarded my boundaries (i.e. continued to make sexual jokes even though they clearly bugged me after the assault), and refused to get a job so he could smoke weed all day.  My parents urged him to prove himself (he was out of high school by this time), and when I eventually took their side and gently nudged him along, he said “You are in a relationship with me, not your parents.  Its either me or them.”  Red flags six through ten right there.

When I managed to break it off with him, a ‘friend’ apparently took his side.  This is the girlfriend in the “His Reaction to Your Ex(es)” post(s).  This friend was actually an adopted cousin of mine, and we were not on speaking terms at this point because she had taken my first bf’s side, saying that *I* had to forgive him and that I was in the wrong for not wanting to talk to him or accept his half-assed apologies. (She was not at our school during the time me and that guy dated so she literally knew nothing).  I cut her off because of that.  Turns out she had a massive crush on the dude and he was already taken by someone else.  

So, this same chick sides with the second bf, telling people that I’m the one who hurt him and whatnot.  I come to find out that him and her are now dating and honestly, it is hilarious.  Even I think she deserves better.  He has no future, and I came to realize that, knowing that if i stayed with him longer I would have 100% actually killed myself, or died spiritually.

So yeah, that’s my story, hopelessly in love with fictional characters now because I am too traumatized by what they have done.  I cannot be touched sexually without reverting to a depression or an anxious mess.  Even if I did manage to be in a relationship after that, I don’t think I’d ever be able to have sex with someone. And finally I cannot have a healthy relationship, because what is that, really?  I’m just gonna live alone with some goats LOL.

[lesbianrobin]

If the Party and teen team had children, how do you think they would be as parents? I found hilarious that Mike becomes a sleepy Ted, or Nancy a Karen, or Billy takes a 180º degree turn and becomes a good father...

tbh i cannot really imagine any of the Party as parents bc in my mind they are babies... i think theoretically like they'd probably all be pretty good parents because they're more familiar than most with what it's like to be a kid and feel like you're on your own and your parents don't understand what you're going through. like i think they'd look back on their own childhoods and all the shit they went through and be like damn i can't be hands-off and leave them to handle things alone but i also can't be a controlling asshole! so i think they'd all be pretty good at it if they chose to be parents. dustin would be the most stereotypical dorky dad in the universe.

i think nancy would be a very hard mother to get along with/handle tbh unless she did a Lot of growing in her 20s/30s before having children. like she would love her kids and try her best and she'd absolutely do anything for them! ...but i don't think she really has the patience to deal with little kids and she seems like the type to set really high standards for older kids to live up to. i think she'd be the type of parent who's like a good provider and who encourages you to be your best but is pretty emotionally distant because of their own unresolved trauma and who doesn't really understand you. like i think if nancy was your mom you would have an incredibly fraught relationship until you reached adulthood and then you would start to really understand her more as a person and get along with her once you weren't living under the same roof. i don't know if she would really choose to have children though? i think there's a good chance that after everything she's been through, watching barb's parents mourn, nancy would feel like the world is too fucked and scary to bring children into it, plus she seems like she'd prefer to focus on a career and if she continues down the path of investigative journalism that might conflict a lot depending on how intense her work gets. maybe she could like foster teenagers or something once she was in her 40s or so? i think she might be good at that. also she'd be a milf and her kids would get constantly bombarded with "i'll fuck your mom" talk.

i think if robin had kids she would be a Cool Mom like she's gay so she's automatically cool for that alone but she also seems like. like she's the Fun Parent who's a little dorky and kind of sucks at discipline and maybe lets her kids get away with more than they should but she's also the mom that like all of her kids' friends go to when they can't talk to their own parents because they know robin will be nice and not make them feel bad about whatever it is. however i do also think she forces her kids to be involved with At Least One Extracurricular at all times and she probably like teaches them basic spanish and french and shit and sometimes she'll just talk to them in another language and be all disappointed and sad when they don't know what the fuck she's saying. she 100% knows that her teenage kids get tipsy when they visit uncle steve and she pretends like she has no clue because they listen to steve when he teaches them how to party safely and they won't listen if they know she's endorsing it because she's their mom and she's lame.

i think jonathan would debate a lot over having kids bc of his Familial Trauma but ultimately i do think he'd want to whether he was like Having kids or adopting or whatever. he's just a family kind of person yknow? i think he'd be a good dad although he might sometimes try too hard and have trouble like letting his kids work out their issues for themselves without intervening. like i think when his kids got to be 12-15 there would be a lot of arguments where they'd be like can you get off my dick and jonathan would be like please i just love you and worry about you and would like to know about every single problem you've ever had <3 because he would be SO conscious of not acting like his own father. however i do think (based off how he talks with will) that he would be able to like work through it and have honest conversations with his kids whenever shit did arise. also his kids would grow up watching like Classic Cinema and they'd show up to sixth grade like wow y'all have never watched the godfather? losers.

as joe keery put it i think steve would definitely be a better dad than his dad is to him! obviously steve would be an awesome dad like i genuinely think that shit is like his calling in life. like i think he'd gladly be a stay at home dad and he would be very dorky and fun and maybe a little too lax on discipline and he'd LIVE for reading to his kids and watching kiddie movies with them and having nerf wars and shit. i think he'd have a really hard time when his kids got older and he'd be very very sad whenever they wanted to hang out with their friends instead of him but robin would be like hey dumbass you're their dad they love you but you're their DAD and steve would be like shit yeah you're right :/ and deal with it (after having a midlife crisis meltdown). he would maybe be anxious about and a little strict on like drugs/alcohol/sex stuff bc of his own history but i do think he'd still be like a "you can have a glass of wine with dinner on holidays also i'm gonna tell you how condoms work and let you know that you can always ask me about anything you need" type of parent because he just doesn't want to be the way his dad was. ultimately i think he'd be good at it and his kids would love him a lot but they would also think he was like the dorkiest lamest man alive and they would be FLOORED that their friends find him cool and fun and attractive.

i can't really see kali ever wanting to have kids aaand fortunately b*lly died before we had to worry about it <3

[cagestark]

WinterIronSpider//5

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five

sorry about this, really wanted to share SOMETHING with you, even if it’s not my best work.

Here on AO3. -

At the sound of Tony Stark’s rumbling voice, Peter’s stomach drops to somewhere around his socked-toes. All the terrible things that could have happened (not that he’d been imagining any of them, not when he saw Bucky’s pale eyes drop to his lips. All thoughts of morals had been beaten away by the butterfly wings that battered inside his stomach), all those terrible things that could befall any infidelious person and this is the worst of them. Getting caught. 

“Mr. Stark,” Peter gasps, stumbling back to put distance between himself and Bucky. Nothing to see here, nothing funny, just two acquaintances slow dancing with red, raw mouths. Yeah—Peter can’t imagine anyone being able to pull the wool over Tony Stark’s eyes, much less himself. Even if he had an excuse that wasn’t thin as he is, there’s no way his conscience could let him hide behind it. Aunt May hadn’t raised him to be that kind of man. Shoulders bowing, Peter says, “Please don’t be angry at Bucky. I came on to him, he—” 

“Is that true, Bucky?” Tony asks. “Did you make this sweet, sick boy do all the work?”

“Hell no,” Bucky mutters. “My ma raised me better than that. He didn’t have to lift a finger.” 

Had the pneumonia scrambled Peter’s brain? Maybe the medicine Dr. Banner gave him had strange (wonderful) hallucinogenic properties that hadn’t manifested until now. His eyes flicker back and forth between the easy banter of the couple, throat growing tighter and tighter.

“In that case, don’t mind me. Fly on the wall,” Tony says, leaning back into the doorway. In his three piece suit, he is the picture of a respectable businessman. The way his eyes burn as he traces up and down them is anything but respectful. His tongue traces his lower lip and Peter replays the sight in his head in ultra high-definition. “Pretend I’m not here. Picture me in my underwear, if you’d prefer—you know, that idiom doesn’t work when I’m not wearing underwear, but these goddamn worsted wool suits, you can see every line—” 

“What, you’re, you—I’m sorry Mr. Stark, but are you joking?” Peter wonders. A worse thought comes with no justification save for a long history of experiencing cruelty at other people’s hands: what if they’re trying to trick him? What into, Peter can’t be certain. What he is certain of is that no man like Tony Stark (no man in general) could possibly be okay with someone else kissing their lover. 

Tony’s face goes soft, a tender twisting of his mouth. Peter’s eyes drop. No, these aren’t the kinds of men who would trick or hurt him. Surely if he looks Tony in the eye, the man will see Peter’s cowardice, his betrayal of their characters. 

“Kid—I’m sorry. It was just a joke. In a way.” Tony lifts the needle on the record player and the music cuts away, leaving a heavy silence behind that no one is sure how to fill. After a stretch, Tony goes on: “Pizza for dinner? Are you hungry?”

Peter is always hungry. “Yes, but—Mr. Stark, maybe I should go.”

“You can’t even stay for dinner?”

“I—alright. No—I mean. I don’t know.”

Tony turns to Bucky. The tone he uses to speak to the other man is night and day from the tone he uses with Peter, his voice low and familiar. “Did you not explain anything to him? What have you been up to all day, buttercup?”

Bucky’s mouth curls up at the corner, a wry, guilty look that makes him look ten years younger. “Dancin’?”

-

Peter clears his plate twice, burning the roof of his mouth (though he hardly cares, the pizza is so good. From someplace in upper Manhattan, real gourmet stuff topped with portobello mushrooms and red peppers and black olives). Bucky is almost as ravenous, folding his pizza like a true New-Yorker. When he takes his metal fingers into his mouth to suck the grease off, Peter has to look away, stomach feeling hot in a way that has nothing to do with the peppers on the pizza. That mouth, those fingers, god. 

All throughout dinner, Tony’s dark eyes flicker back and forth like they are prime entertainment, looking a little heated under the collar himself when Bucky cleans his hands. He tells them a story about running into a professional Tony Stark impersonator in the pizza shop, until Peter nearly forgets that there’s a reason Mr. Stark should hate him. By the time nothing remains but empty, grease-sodden pizza boxes, Peter feels sleepy and full, lulled in the best way. 

“Two things, kid,” Tony says, using a napkin to wipe his mouth. “Small things. We’d like you to live here, and also Bucky would like to make out—“

“Nice opening,” Bucky huffs, eyebrows low and threatening. “Any other bombshells to drop on him? You his bio dad? Tell him that I killed JKF?”

“FRIDAY, scrub the last five minutes,” Tony snaps. 

Peter struggles to follow along. Tony began to lose him somewhere around live here and left him in the dust at Bucky would like to make out. Blinking hard, nothing changes, no world slipping sideways, no veil lifting to reveal everything as a hallucination. But surely this can’t be real life. Real life wouldn’t be nearly so strange. 

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Peter admits, fingers tapping his thighs in an anxious rhythm. “Did you say something about living here, Mr. Stark?” 

“Let’s start with Bucky first, actually,” Tony says, eyes glittering like he’s getting strange pleasure from seeing Peter so flustered. 

“Tony—” 

“No, no, you had your chance to talk to him during the 9-5. You’re officially off the clock. We’re all about not violating Fair Labor Standards Act.” Bucky’s face gives away nothing. His metal hand makes a sound as he clenches it into a tight fist and then tucks it into his lap, shrugging in a way that says less fine, whatever and more I, very begrudgingly and under extreme duress, relent. When Tony’s gaze turns back on Peter, he can’t help but stare down at his lap and the fraying knees of his pants. Aunt May always said the eyes are the window to the soul. “Kid, there’s no reason to apologize to me for kissing Bucky. We’re open. Do you understand what I mean?” 

Peter clears his throat, mouth dry. “You mean you’re in an open relationship?” 

“We don’t usually label it, but that’s acceptable terminology. We aren’t people who stifle our desires, how’s that? Sometimes Bucky’s with someone else, sometimes I’m with someone else, sometimes we’re both with someone else, but we’re always with each other. Bucky has my explicit approval to make moves on young, pneumonia-ridden college students, so long as they are willing.”

Imagining Tony and Bucky together is enough to make him want to squirm in his seat. Imagining them sharing someone between them makes him long to pant like a dog, anything to help abate the volcanic heat bubbling up inside him. One thing at a time, Pete, he thinks to himself. He’s good at giving himself pep talks. After all, for a long time there was no one else around to encourage him. “That makes sense, Mr. Stark. But what does that mean? Mr.—Bucky wants to, to...you know?”

“That is a question you can direct to the defendant. Mr. Bucky?”

Peter colors, looking at the long-haired man from beneath his dark eyelashes. 

“I want to kiss you any time you’re looking sad,” Bucky says, eyes on the hardwood of the table. “I want to make sure you don’t have anymore reasons to cry when you’re around me or not. I want to protect you. I want to kill your enemies—” 

“He’s a poet, isn’t he, regular Shakespeare—FRIDAY, let’s just scrub this whole conversation okay—” 

“I’m sorry,” Peter says, “But it’s Monday, Mr. Stark.” 

Tony smiles. It hints at a lot, not half of which Peter can decipher. He adjusts the blue-tinted glasses on his face. “Right. You’re right, Peter. Did Bucky answer your question?” 

Replaying it in his mind, Peter can feel himself flushing. His mouth tingles where an hour before, Bucky’s own had been pressed against it. If Bucky wants to kiss him every time he’s looking sad, then Peter won’t ever smile again. Not if he can help it. “Sort of. I guess I just don’t get why. You two have each other, and you’re both. Wow. You’re both really wow. I think if I—” Peter barely manages to stop before he says something hopelessly romantic and tragic, something like how he thinks if he had either of them, he’d never be sad again. “I just don’t understand why you’d be interested in anyone else.” 

“I don’t believe in soulmates,” Tony says. He walks to the bar in the corner and pours himself an amber-colored drink. “I believe in chemistry. That’s a renewable resource in my book, Pete, one that can be experienced between a multitude of people all at once. A gas stove has several burners, and just because you turn the gas up on one doesn’t mean you can’t ignite the others, does it?” 

“Not if it’s a good stove.” 

“Not if it’s a good stove,” Tony repeats, voice warm like the alcohol he sips at. He tips the glass towards Bucky. “Snowflake here believes that a person can have many soulmates. It’s all about the ones we choose to cultivate. Sometimes it’s that deep. And not to watch you flush, kid, but sometimes it’s just about the sex.” 

Peter works to keep his face neutral even if he can feel the heat of a blush crawling across his skin. Mr. Stark must think him a blushing virgin (and in some aspects, Peter is). Hopefully, he can’t tell that Peter’s flush is more arousal than embarrassment. 

“So which am I?” He asks, glancing nervously to Bucky. “Am I a cultivating thing or am I a sex thing?”

“You’re not a thing at all,” Bucky says. The murderous expression on his face doesn’t agree with his words. “You’re a human being. But it’s more than just sex. Sex doesn’t need to be included at all. See—I told Tony this morning that we were going to move too fast. We shouldn’t even be mentioning sex until after the third date—“

“Incredible. Do you hear that, kid? He didn’t take me on a date until after the sixth or seventh tryst in the lab. You’re something special.” Tony’s waggling eyebrows belie any jealousy or bitterness Peter might have imagined. 

Still. Peter can’t help but feel...special. Not in a million years would he have imagined someone as handsome as Bucky Barnes being interested in him, not romantically, not sexually, not any way at all. He feels more than a little like he’s stepped into the Twilight Zone. Surely any moment Rod Sterling will appear leaning against the bar talking to some invisible camera.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Peter says, wringing his hands in his lap. He smiles at Bucky with shaking lips, watching the furrowed brow smooth. “I don’t expect anything at all. This is like, not expected. At all. Way out of left field. I still don’t understand…”

“Which part?” Tony asks. He puts a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, thumb soothing the skin just above the collar of the man’s shirt, and Peter feels it all over. 

“The me part,” Peter admits. “You could have anybody. Why me? Not to sound like, like I’m fishing for compliments or anything but I’m not the sort of guy people are attracted to.” But. Bad thoughts come rolling in like thunderheads, always clinging to the edges of his mind eager to blot out any sun that might appear, because there’s one thing Peter knows he’s good at. One thing people are attracted to. 

Mr. Rumlow tells him so. 

Peter shivers despite the warmth of the room, pizza sitting like a heavy stone in his gut. God, why had he told Bucky and Mr. Stark about the arrangement between himself and the super of his apartment complex? Their reactions were fuzzy in his mind, the effects of the medicine he’d taken turning everything mottled and loose at the edges, but Peter knows how it sounds. He knows what he would think, if it had been another student sucking Mr. Rumlow’s dick anytime he knocks just to keep from having to pay rent. 

It’s not as bad as it sounds, though. Mr. Rumlow (“Call me Brock, I think you’ve more than earned it, Pete”) is attractive enough. He’s not really rough, not large enough to leave Peter’s throat sore the way a bigger cock might (Peter has read on the internet that that’s Possible). He likes to say foul things while Peter’s on his knees, things he knows that are just said during sex, like how Peter is so dirty, such a slut for his cock. But more often than not, Peter just drowns that out. 

Why he feels so pathetic thinking about it, he isn’t sure. 

“Kid.”

Peter looks up and sees the blurry form of Tony, the taller form of Bucky crouched down beside his seat. Eyes stinging, he reaches up to palm at them. His hands come away damp, vision clear, but now he can see the worry on Tony’s face, the intense stare Bucky has fixed him with, and that makes it so much worse. People caring rubs a tender part of him raw and it hurts. 

“I’m not doing such a good job keeping you from crying,” Bucky mutters, handing Peter a cloth plucked from beneath the bar to wipe his face with. 

Peter laughs wetly. “Can’t kiss all my sadness away.” 

“Can sure as hell try,” Bucky says. His metal hand cups Peter’s chin with contradicting tenderness, cooler than skin. His eyes flutter closed on instinct, opening only when the older man pauses close enough that Peter can feel his warm breath against his face. Those eyes, the entire expression—it makes Peter feel like Bucky could swallow him whole. And Peter might like it. “Tell me if you want it.” 

“I want it,” Peter breathes. 

Bucky kisses him. The sound that slips past Peter’s lips is downright disgraceful, a needy desperate little thing that Bucky swallows, his metal thumb coming up to coax Peter’s jaw open. Peter’s only prior kiss was a girl in highschool, and it was nothing like this. That had been an anxious, quick thing, more time spent worrying about his breath and where to put his hands and how to turn his head so their noses wouldn’t touch than time spent actually kissing. This is a submersive experience. Nothing but Bucky exists, Bucky and his tender hand, the tongue that teases, the mouth that sucks when Peter is brave enough to go exploring with his own. 

Eyes opening a fraction, his heart jerks in his chest because—

Tony. 

Tony stands having taken a few steps back, watching them with wide, wondrous eyes. His throat bobs as he swallows, Peter’s eyes tracking the movement. Why, Peter wonders, does the sight of Mr. Stark watching them make every last drop of blood in his body turn tail and head south? He can’t help but groan, letting his heavy lids fall shut again, neck going lax while Bucky kisses him deep and slow and filthy. 

Maybe they kiss for a minute or ten. Long enough for Peter’s tears to dry, for his cock to ache, for his lips to feel raw and swollen. When they part, Bucky’s eyes seem to burn, the thinnest sliver of silver corona around the aroused pupil—and then they flicker over Peter’s shoulder. Peter turns to see that Tony is lounging against the bar, face buried in his phone. He glances up at their movement and gives them a smile that is small but real and warm. 

“Coming up for air?” Tony asks. He slips his phone into his pocket. “Before you have Peter as desert on the dining room table, there is one more important item to discuss.” 

Peter’s head swims drunkenly. Fingers tighten at the nape of his neck where they are buried in his curls. They release in an instant—just an anxious reflex—but Peter’s eyes flutter anyway. How long has it been since he was touched? Mr. Rumlow. Before that? MJ and Ned, when they’d visited him over their semester break last year. Sometimes his skin downright itched, he was so desperate for someone to hug him, to put their hand on his shoulder. His heart would burst at the sound of Rumlow knocking on his door, just to feel human contact, just to feel wanted.

Shaking his head, Peter struggles to clear it. “Sorry Mr. Stark. What, what else is there?” 

“The matter of your destitution,” Tony says, taking his seat at the table again. His glass is full now, though Peter never heard him pour it. “Delicately put—you lack resources. I have an abundance of them. I’d like us to come to some sort of arrangement. Preferably one that doesn’t make me feel seedy, but even more importantly!—one that doesn’t make you feel trapped.” 

Peter blinks. “Trapped?” 

Tony clears his throat. His hands can’t seem to still, fiddling with the tumbler glass, adjusting where it rests on the napkin. Nervous ticks?, Peter wonders. What could a brilliant, powerful man like Tony Stark have to be worried about? “I wanted to invite you to move in to our penthouse; there’s plenty of room. But my better half over there told me that you might feel obliged to say yes even if you didn’t really want to. Or that saying yes might make it difficult for you to maintain your independence.” 

“You want me to live with you?” Peter can hear how his voice grows high towards the end. Even to his own ears, it sounds like hysteria. Maybe most of it is shock, but there’s a part of it (a frighteningly large part) that is...excited. This is young Peter’s dream, his idol asking him to live with him. Kid fantasies. Nothing that should ever be possible.

At his shrill voice, Tony winces. “Here’s what we want: your security ensured and your health maintained. Whatever it takes to see those things come to fruition. Our one request is that you don’t go back to Lafayette Hall. There are people there who would, who are taking advantage of you, kid. As it is, I have it under good authority that Lafayette Hall will be experiencing a change of management soon, but until it does, it would be a real comfort to Bucky and I to know that you aren’t vulnerable.” 

His face burns. It takes effort to swallow past the knot in his throat. “If I didn’t go back there, where else would I go?” 

“You’ve got options,” Bucky says, voice a warm, comforting timber from beside him. 

“One,” Tony says, holding up a finger. “I can set you up in a nice apartment close to campus. All amenities taken care of. I know the supers, very hands off kinds of people. Two, I could set you up on a different floor in the Tower here. I have several that used to belong to the Avengers, but they come and go so sporadically now that there’s no sense in giving them their own permanent space. You’d be free to come and go from the Tower the way you would any apartment. It would be as much your home as ours.” 

“Or I could stay here with you?” Peter asks. 

“I’m prepared to have provide any legal requisite that would make you feel comfortable, so that you would know there’s no obligation to Bucky or to myself. I have lawyers at the Tower six days a week; they’d be more than glad to do paperwork that prevents me from potentially causing a legal scandal. For once.” 

“Mr. Stark, this is, that—it’s all more than generous. Not to sound like a broken record, I just don’t understand why,” Peter says. “Why me? Why would you spend so much money on me, if you aren’t getting anything in return?” 

If there’s one thing Peter has learned in life, it’s that no kindness is unconditional. Yet here Tony is trying to convince him of that very thing, that Peter can have his cake and eat it too, that there are no strings attached to this gift. Just a big, beautiful bow. 

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” says Tony. It’s too difficult to look away from his heated gaze. And Peter doesn’t want to. “ You’re intelligent, hardworking, kind. I was barely two of those things when I was your age, and I’ll let you decide which. I want to see you thrive kid, and if that means investing some—not even a fraction—of my resources, then it will be more than worth it. If nothing else, feel free to consider me a lecherous rich bastard who will sleep easier at night knowing he’s doing his civic duty.

“So what do you say, Pete? No need to break it to me gently, though there will be a mandatory period of forty-eight hours of sulking should you say no, just a warning, but don’t—” 

“Yes. Yes, absolutely,” Peter says, tucking his fingers beneath his thighs to keep from doing something embarrassing like clapping or throwing his arms around the man. He should say no. May never liked the idea of handouts. She was a proud woman who worked until she couldn’t stand anymore and had instilled in him the same work ethic. Would she be disappointed in him for taking this easy way out, for accepting generosity without giving Mr. Stark anything in return? 

If Peter lets himself wonder questions like that, then he’d never stop. 

“Yes? Yes? That was easy.”

“Tony’s used to people telling him no,” Bucky says slyly. 

“As they should,” says Tony, leaning back in his chair. It’s not hard to imagine that the smile on the older man’s face might be thanks to Peter, but it’s certainly hard enough to believe. “I was convinced I might have to beg you to take my money, kid. I’ve been turned down a few times in the name of pride.” 

Peter smiles, lips pressed together tight so that he doesn’t have to say anything like, Don’t worry Mr. Stark, I have no pride.

“You could have Sam’s floor, it’s right below this one, and he spends most of his time in DC anyway,” Bucky suggests. The man looks about as happy as Peter’s seen him. Something about his serious face isn’t made for smiling, the low brows and narrowed eyes and downturned lips, but his brow is smooth and the corners of his lips quirk upwards. 

“Oh, not here? Up here, I mean. With you two?” Peter cringes even as the words slip out. Of course they wouldn’t want him up here in their space, not when there were better options so close by. Still, an entire slideshow had played inside his brain of all the domestic activities they could get up to together: watching movies on the couch at night after Mr. Stark came home from work, cooking breakfast in the morning with Bucky at the stove. He should just be grateful, though. Grateful he’ll be in a place with food and heat and running water that doesn’t taste like iron and rust.

“Up here?” Tony asks. He claps his hands. “All the better. My lawyers will be here first thing in the morning to draw up a makeshift lease of sorts—anything to let you know that your security isn’t contingent on any relationship with us. But if you leave crumbs on my carpet, kid, I’ll throw you to the wolves I swear to—kidding! Jesus, Buck, don’t slap me with the metal hand.” 

“I can walk home tomorrow and grab my stuff,” Peter says, mind far away in the tiny apartment. All he’ll need is to fill his backpack with the few clothing items that he hasn’t worn to death, the picture of Ned and MJ, May and Ben’s and his parents’ wedding rings, his school books. He could pack up his entire life into one bag, which is both a little sad and a godsend. Peter hates moving.

“Take one of my cars; I have plenty of them.” Tony stands from the table and holds out a hand. When Peter takes it, it’s warm and calloused. They shake, but it isn’t enough, no amount of gratitude can be poured from palm to palm. Peter rounds the table and wraps his arms around the man’s waist, smelling cologne and sharp alcohol, feeling Tony arms carefully come down around him. When the man speaks, it rumbles through Peter’s own body. “Lovely doing business with you, Mr. Parker. Saturday is for chores and Sunday is funday.” 

“I’m really good at doing dishes,” Peter grins. 

“That’s what the dishwasher is for, kid. Unless you’re Bucky who likes to do them by hand.” They pull away and Tony smiles down at him, and Peter thinks that maybe things are actually getting better. Maybe all those prayers he made finally reached up through the clouds and were heard and answered. Maybe he’s suffered enough, and the universe is finally giving him some good karma. “You know,” Tony says. He winks at Bucky. “I think this business deal could absolutely be sealed by a kiss—” 

“Tony,” Bucky sighs. 

“Good idea,” Peter says brightly. He shifts up onto his toes, letting his eyes fall shut as he presses a chaste kiss to Tony’s mouth—

What he wasn’t expecting was for Mr. Stark to pull away the way he does, to turn his head so that the kiss falls on his whiskered cheek. When Peter blinks up at him, he can’t understand the shocked, no, the horrified expression on the older man’s face. 

“Kid—I meant you and Bucky,” Tony says. “This thing—between you two? I’m not included.” 

[gra-sonas]

Alex Manes - an essay

Alright, my inbox is bursting with asks, and I’ll get to them (tomorrow, it’s almost midnight D: ), but I’ve been thinking about this all day while trying to work (had to get up and angrily pace my flat several times), and I had to write it all down to get it off my chest. (Also, I’m sorry, but once again Tumblr won’t let me add a Read More, after two attempts at creating new posts with a Read More, I’m giving up 🙈)

As viewers, we’ve been introduced to two different versions of Alex.

Alex at 17

wears mostly black

puts on nail polish, eyeliner and jewellery, including a stud earring and a septum piercing

loves skateboarding

plays the guitar

works at the UFO Emporium

his mom, a Native American woman from a New  Mexican tribe left the family when he was younger

has 3 brothers, presumably they’re all older than Alex

Alex at 27/28

a soldier, he’s been in the Air Force for a decade

a decorated purple heart airman with three deployments under his belt

an amputee, he lost part of his right leg in an attack in Iraq, sometimes uses a crutch

a codebreaker who's hacked into Russian and Chinese intelligence

a man who still dips fries into his milkshake

the nail polish, spiky hair, piercings and jewellery are gone

Alex wears fatigues occasionally, his civil clothes are mostly neutral colored shirts/jeans (until The Leather Jacket™ in 1x13)

we don’t know whether he still plays the guitar

his brothers are also all military, Flint (~2 years older than Alex) is a Special Forces Weapons Sergeant with the US Army

Quotes from/about Alex’s youth (incl. Jesse’s abuse)

1x01, Alex: "We're not kids anymore. What I want doesn't matter.“

✧→ 17 year old Alex hoped to escape his father one day, he dreamt of making music. His  hopes were shattered that day in the toolshed, and Alex hasn’t allowed himself to go for what he wants since then - including Michael.

1x02, Alex: “Made me think about... I don't know, who I was when this started. Before I went to war.”

1x05, Kyle: “Do you remember that night your dad made us set up that tent to teach us extreme weather survival?” Alex: “Yeah. Your dad had driven home for the night, so mine concocted a brand-new form of kiddie torture.”

1x05, Alex: “My dad was a homophobic, abusive dick."

1x05: Alex: “The dad I got was a monster. Is a monster.” Kyle: “Because he sent you off to war?” Alex: “My father was my war. And your dad saw it, when we were kids. Do you remember the summer - that we built the tree house?” Kyle: “Yeah.” Alex: “That's the summer that my dad found out I was gay. He knew before I did. He thought he could beat it out of me. Jim tried to intervene. But you can't make someone stop hating someone. And my dad hated me.”

✧→ Alex is talking about his father/childhood matter-of-factly, but the language he’s using to describe his childhood allows a glimpse at the hell he went through: torture (through extreme survival trainings), homophobic abuse, his dad is a monster, sent him to war, for years tried beating the gay out of Alex, Jesse hates him. This is not just a homophobic remark his dad made at the dinner table, this informs us about years of violence and abuse Alex endured at the hands of his father.

1x06, Alex: “Things at my house suck.“

✧→ Many teenagers will probably say this at some point while growing up, this isn’t about Alex being upset about a curfew, or having to do his homework tho. This is as much as Alex will disclose about the ongoing abuse.

1x06: Alex: “Dad, this has nothing to do with you.“ Jesse: “Everything you do... everything. And I will not be humiliated.“

✧→  This is Alex, terrified of what his dad might do. And he knows that Jesse will do something (he’s already picked up the hammer). Alex expects violence, because that’s what his dad has done to him numerous times. 😔

1x07, Mimi: "You look like your dad today." Alex: "Oh, good. I was hoping that the rage face might skip a generation."

1x08, Alex: “I've been looking for leverage my entire life.“

✧→ “My entire life”, a clear indication that having Jesse as a dad’s never been a walk in the park, Alex just got the special ‘anti gay’ treatment as a bonus when he got older.

1x08, Alex: “When I was...- I wanted to make music. You sent me to war.“

✧→ Alex at 17 wanted to make music, and although he never says it, I think it’s implied that he never planned to join the military. Jesse didn’t give him a choice though, he made Alex enlist, probably threatening him with what he’d do to Michael if Alex didn’t do as he was told.

1x08, Alex: "Why are you trying to frame Michael? Haven't you done enough to him?"

1x08, Alex: "Do not talk to me about unprovoked violence!"

1x09, Michael: "And what do you want to say, Alex?” Alex: That I loved you. And I think that you loved me. For a long time.” Michael: “Yeah.” Alex: "But we didn't even know each other that well, did we? I mean, we just, we-we connected, - like something… -“ Michael: “Cosmic.” Alex: "Yeah, but we didn't even do that much talking."

1x10, Alex: "My dad is a bigot with no moral compass."

1x12, Flint (to Alex): "You ever get tired of being the black sheep of the family?"

1x13, Alex: "Look... I shouldn't have left you behind when I enlisted. I could... I could stand here and tell you that I didn't want to leave, but I did. After what my dad did to you, I just, I... I wanted to be the kind of person who won battles. But now I-I look in the mirror, and I-I don't even see myself sometimes. I see my father. I'm still fighting his battles. Not mine."

✧→ It’s kinda implied that Alex never wanted to enlist, but once Jesse forced him to do it, he tried to make the most of it. He wanted to be the kind of person who won battles. He was also looking for leverage, something he could use to take his dad down.

✧→  Alex at 17 wanted to get out, he wanted to make music and live life his way. Since Jesse was going to beat him for being gay anyway, he’d at least wear what he wanted, put on make up, and wear jewellery. Jesse hadn’t manage to break Alex.

✧→ The shed incident changed everything, because someone else got hurt. And from Alex’s POV it was because of Alex. Because he’d been selfish. He’d wanted Michael. And because of that Michael got injured.

Now that we’ve established the basics, onto Carina’s statement.

“Alex was too ashamed of Michael  (not of being gay, which Maria knew, but of michael specifically) to name him to Maria for 10 years - until he saw Maria as a threat.” [x]

✧→ At 17, we saw how much Alex cared about Michael, that he wanted him safe and warm bc nights twere too cold to sleep in the car. That’s why Alex offered Michael to stay in the shed. He liked Michael, and he wanted to spend time with him. He even brought Michael a guitar bc he thought Michael would like to play. None of Alex’s behavior gives any indication that he was ashamed of Michael before the shed incident.

✧→ 17 year old Alex was afraid of his father, no surprise after years of abuse, but he also seemed confident, defiant even, believing he could handle it for a little bit longer until he’d finished high school and would finally be able to leave to make music. Despite living under Jesse’s roof, he dressed in all black, openly wore make up, nail polish, and jewellery/piercings, refusing to be another picture perfect son of his military father. We didn’t see it on screen, but given Jesse’s homophobic views, Alex’s behavior very likely caused his father to punish him in some way for it.

✧→  Then Michael kissed Alex at the UFO Emporium, Alex kissed back, one thing lead to another and they ended up at the shed where they had sex for the first time. It was Michael’s first time with a guy, we don’t know whether it was Alex’s first time tho. Alex still didn’t show any signs of being ashamed of Michael.

They were SO in love and happy in that moment. 🥺

✧→  When Jesse and the hammer happened, and it changed everything. Up until that moment, Alex had been used to his father’s abuse, he’d been strong enough, he’d been convinced he could take it, but this time someone else got badly hurt, and I think that broke something in Alex.

✧→  We never saw how things played out for Alex after Michael left the shed, all we know is that Jesse made Alex enlist. And given Jesse’s preference for blackmailing (he blackmailed Jenna, and Alex asked Flint what Jesse had on him) it’s probably fair to assume that Jesse threatened to go after Michael should Alex not do as he says.

Alex didn’t tell Maria for a decade because he was ashamed of Michael (at 17)?

Say what now???

There are several good reasons why Alex wouldn’t have told her, but shame isn’t one of them... I’m sure Alex thought of Maria as a trustworthy friend back then, but the most important reason why he wouldn’t reveal who ‘museum guy’ was would be the one the straight showrunner of the show’s apparently not aware of:

Alex would’ve outed Michael (without Michael’s consent I’d like to add) to Maria by telling her who it was. As a gay kid in 2008, I’m sure Alex was very well aware of LGBTQ etiquette, and the first rule of queer club is, you don’t out a fellow queer. And guess who’d just experience a brutal attack because he’s queer? Why would Alex ever consider outing Michael and potentially putting him at risk???

The outing reason alone would be enough to explain why Alex never told her who it was. And in 1x10 he didn’t outright out Michael either, Maria realized it was Guerin and Alex reluctantly confirmed (there was no way for him to plausibly deny it).

1x10, Alex: “It is just a standard, run-of-the-mill boy problem. Oh, come on. Don't give me psychic face, Maria.” Maria: “It's the guy from the museum, the one that kissed you into crazy stupid love when we were kids. He's back?” Alex: “Wha... How-how do you do that?” Maria: “You're just... I feel it, you're-you're hopeful, like you were before. Who is he? Come on, spill it. I've been waiting ten years for this. - Come on.” Alex: “You... you wouldn't believe it.” Maria: “It's not like you're hooking up with Wyatt Long or Michael Guerin or something. Geez. Please tell me you're in love with Wyatt Long. Wow.” Alex: “Michael's not so bad after a shower. But you know that.” Maria: “I had no idea...” Alex: “I know. I mean, how would you?” Maria: “It meant nothing, Alex. Seriously, I swear, it was just a drunk, dusty, no-good Texas rounder."

Another reason why Alex wouldn’t necessarily have told Maria: Alex was traumatized by what happened at the shed. This wasn’t just the ‘normal’ kind of abuse he endured on the regular (which is a boatload of trauma all of its own), someone else had been hurt, someone Alex liked, and because Alex liked him. On top of that Jesse likely threatened him. There’s no way Alex wasn’t scared and deeply traumatized. It’s fairly common that victims of abuse don’t tell anyone about it, out of fear even more bad things could happen, there’s surely also a lot of shame and self-blaming involved.

Alex also knew that Michael was homeless, and probably not yet of age. Jesse could’ve threatened Alex to put Michael back into the system or whatnot.

Absolutely NOTHING we’ve seen on screen suggests that Alex was ashamed of Michael when they were 17. Alex joined the military afterwards, and was away for a decade. Not many opportunities to talk about it to Maria, but again, the first reason (outing Michael) is a perfectly valid reason not to tell her for an entire decade. And this being a major trauma, Alex probably didn’t feel like opening that box again after such a long time.

And wow, claiming that Alex waited to tell Maria (which isn’t exactly what happened) because she felt threatened by her? Sure, Alex just waited for the right moment. 🙄

Is Alex ashamed of Michael at 27/28?

In 1x03 it seems like Alex let’s his father’s words get to him. “Seems to me the only one you're embarrassing is yourself, son.“ I’ve always interpreted this as a thinly veiled threat tho, and Alex, on instinct, immediately put distance between himself and Michael. Because before he talked to his father? Alex was perfectly happy to be seen with Michael, if he'd been ashamed, as Carina claims, he wouldn’t have approached Michael in public in the first place.

This is also how I read the scene in 1x02: “What happened at the reunion cannot happen again.“ In the pilot, Jesse had been part of the group of soldiers poking around Michael’s Airstream, and Alex saw the way his father looked at them talking. Then they kissed at the reunion, and I’m sure it felt so good and like coming home, but the fear of what Jesse could do if he found out was back the next morning, and Alex once more tried to put distance between himself and Michael to keep Michael save.

This is not an excuse for Alex pushing Michael away, not an excuse for Alex to call him a criminal either. That is absolutely shitty behavior and not okay. I just don’t buy this ‘Alex is ashamed of Michael’ shtick.

Friendly reminder that Maria did not only tell Alex in 1x10 “It meant nothing, Alex. Seriously, I swear, it was just a drunk, dusty, no-good Texas rounder.", here’s what she said in her next scene with Guerin:

1x10, Maria: “We're closed. - You found my necklace.” Michael: “Clasp broke. I fixed it. I think it calls for a celebration. And by celebration, I mean booze, preferably the free kind.” Maria: “Alex is one of my best friends.” Michael: “Congrats.” Maria: “I never would have slept with you if I knew you two had history. It can't happen again.”

So in 1x10 Maria

learned Michael is 'museum guy’

realized that Alex is in love with Michael (still), and hopeful

swore to Alex it was a one time thing and that it meant nothing

told Michael that Alex is one of her best friends (and you don’t go after your best friends’ love interests)

she would’ve never slept with Michael had she known

she also says it can’t happen again

And yet Carina’s surprised why many few fans don’t understand

what made Maria ignore Liz’s advice to talk to Alex (which would’ve been the fair thing to do, no one’s mad at Maria for catching feelings, it’s that she acted on them without talking to Alex first what upsets and angers people)

why Maria invited Michael to kiss her just 3 episodes later

why she’s still chasing after Michael 2 weeks later without having talked to Alex

she’ll continue to go after Michael but still won’t talk to Alex

and therefore some are having a hard time not to dislike Maria to some degree? Okay...

Either way, imo Alex was definitely not ashamed of Michael at 17, and I don’t see much evidence of him being ashamed of Michael at 27/28.

Apart from that, shame is for sure NOT the reason why Alex never told Maria.

Alright, this got LONG, but it I had to write it all down. I think I provided facts in the form of dialogue quotes. In addition, I’m sharing my interpretation of these facts.

I don’t claim that I’m right, I don’t claim that I know more than Carina (who seems to have forgotten some things she herself wrote tho), none of that. This is my interpretation of what happened, based on what we saw on screen, what’s been said by the characters, and what we know about the different characters involved.

I also don’t claim that Alex didn’t do anything wrong, that he’s a saint, or whatnot. But I strongly disagree with the notion that by not telling Maria Alex is somehow to blame for her going after Michael.

[babbushka]

oooooooooooooooh hooray for sleepover!! these ask lists are so fun! pure asks: 14, 19. spring asks: cream, grass, matcha. intimate s/o asks: #3 #4. seasonal asks: four leaf clover aaaaaaand finally, romantic asks: #11 #12. THANK YOU!

Lol yes hooray for sleepover indeed my dear anon! Thank you so much for asking all these! :) 

14. What high school stereotype were/are you

I was only in high school for 2 years before going to college full time, but when I was in high school I was in with the emo/scene crowd, and in the theater sphere, lol. It’s okay, no one hates me more than I hate me. 

19. Have you learnt anything in self isolation

Yes! That I absolutely under no circumstances can be left alone to my own devices for more than like 3 days before I go insane. I’m a Libra, I need affection and attention or else I honestly wither away. 

Cream: do you wear make-up?

Occasionally! I love to wear lipstick and lipgloss, and I love wearing mascara. If I’m feeling fancy I’ll pop on some eyeshadow! Face makeup like foundation/concealer/contour etc freaks me out so I don’t ever use it lol

Grass: do you get hayfever or spring allergies?

No I don’t, thank goodness!

Matcha - what’s your go to coffee/tea order this time of year?

It never changes for me lol, i’m pretty standard: medium caramel iced coffee with cream & sugar

3. How often do you and Flip have sex?

Every day, at least once a day, but if we can swing it then twice. Listen there’s a reason he’s got me knocked up again lmao 

4. Is foreplay important to Flip, (do they take things slow or get right to it)?

Yes! He’s honestly too big to forgo it, plus foreplay is half the fun!! The teasing flirting anticipation and preparation always makes us feel silly stupid in love :)

Sometimes he’ll be an ass though, and will drag it out way too long to be difficult on purpose lol 

four leaf clover: does Flip have any good luck charms or superstitions? do you? do the two of you share any?

He’s not really superstitious, but he’s a little ‘stitious. He knocks on wood and spits three times whenever he sees or hears something bad, he only buys even numbers of flowers, and he always closes open books. My superstitions are mostly like, trying not to jinx anything, lol. 

11. What do you want out of the future with Flip? Do you want marriage, a family, a houseful of dogs? Or do you not think that far ahead and prefer to focus entirely on the here and now? Do you know if they have any thoughts like this?

Well considering that we’re married and have two kids and are expecting another, I think it’s safe to say that the future with my Philly looks bright! We’re not really planning on having any more kids after these, but who knows. Our house is certainly on a big enough plot of land to keep adding rooms lol! He’s kind of really emotionally invested in being a good father, because his dad was such a piece of shit. So he’s very happy to continue to grow and provide for our family! (no animals yet though lol)

12. What is your preferred method of flirting? Are you physical, do you use cheesy but harmless pick-up lines, or are you heavy-handed in your approach? How do they react to being flirted with? If you don’t flirt with them, how else do you (or did you) show them you were interested in them?

Flip and I are always flirting omg. It doesn’t ever really stop with him! Definitely lots of pick up lines that are cheesy and straight out of romcoms that make us both cringe in a good way. Comments here and there, compliments, hugs and kisses and batting eyelashes, blushing at one another and egging each other on are how we spend too much of our time lol! He always gets so annoyingly full of himself though, his ego going through the roof smh! 

[elliotfm]

hey guys ! i’m jules and i’m super excited to open; i have two super clingy cats in case any of you ever need a visual pick-me-up, i’m a uni student in canada and a Big skincare and dark chocolate junkie, more than likely gonna be typing replies while indulging in either jsyk ! i tried to keep it short since i’m a rambly bitch, but links to elliot’s basic stats and her wc page will be up soon — though i have some under the read more — as well as a playlist whenever i find the energy to set it up here FLDKSJGSD also pardon the lack of theme, i forgot the url for the preview and code link for the one i wanted to use but i’ll have it figured out shortly ! anyways, without further ado:

◤  *  kim doyeon  ;  twenty-one  ;  cis female  ;  she/her  —  is  that  who  i  think  it  is  over  there  ?  outer  banks  very  own  kook  ,  elliot hong  .  makes  sense  ‘cause  i  can  practically  hear  into it  by  chase atlantic  blasting  through  their  headphones  .  plus  who  else  would  you  find  out  at  the boneyard  right  now  ?  some  say  they're  pretty  astute  ,  but  it's  the  imperious  reputation  i'd  watch  out  for  .  i  wonder  if  they're  still  a student / heiress  and  obsessing  about  keeping  up  with  their  bongs, random shoes and empty bottles of dom on the living room floor  &  a bite as big as her bark  vibe  .  [  ooc  ;  jules/21+/nt/she/her  ]

tw: drug and alcohol mention

the middle child of her parents, elliot is the fourth of her father’s five children

her mother is his second ( now ex — ) wife, though they remain cordial and have since moved on

grew up with a silver spoon, her dad being a wall street giant who would split his time between nyc and, once upon a time, connecticut — though it ultimately became a back-and-forth from nyc and the outer banks when elle was about four

her mother was adopted into an old money family ( on the lower end of that group ) in charlotte when she was a baby and had become something of a socialite when young, but shifted to becoming an entrepreneur. of what ?? i still haven’t figured that out LFJDGS

has a half-sister and half-brother from her dad’s first marriage, tallulah ( aka tally, a pain in my ass over on my indie fdlkjgs ) and bennett, and is basically a mini tally as all she really had were brothers and was Attached to her big sis whenever she’d visit

and as for her older and younger brother..... they might be wcs soon enough so we’ll leave that be for now DFLSGKJ

now onto ELLE ! she was the princess of the younger three hong kids, like the apple of her mother’s eye and her father’s Biggest tormentor

aka would hog the phone whenever he couldn’t come home for the night to tell him good night, hounded him to read her bedtime stories, pretty much always got her way in the most wholesome way when she was a kid

like i said before, moved to the obx when she was four because her mom used to visit when she was a kid and loved it; it was also due to its convenience in seeing her maternal grandparents regularly, its quieter nature in comparison to the affluent hubs for businessmen outside of manhattan and just in general

her dad just went along because it’s what his wife wanted and fuck it, at least the kids wouldn’t hound them to take them to places beyond their urban surroundings as often DLSFJDS

growing up, she wasn’t Too much of a brat but liked having the spotlight on her — she’d accredit it to tally’s influence AND her parents caving to her whims more often than not — and was very sociable and respectful even back in primary school

LOVED to explore, and, while not a tomboy per se, would take part in some activities her brothers or other boys in her grade participated in; be it to bond, trail along her siblings’ every move because she didn’t wanna stray far from action, or to prove that she can hold her own, she’d do it

uhhh overall a cute, if not high-maintenance, kid, but her teen years ?? yikes, people would be in for a ride bc this is when she REALLY started to emulate tally and shift her boldness towards riskier shit

basically could’ve been a main character on outer banks itself with her reckless antics and partying as a teenager…. and now, even SGDLKF

could’ve been considered a typical kook, save for her wild streak; she could hang with the pogues and wouldn’t let her slight superiority complex come into play unless she was challenged or something, otherwise she’d chase the party and the fun wherever she could find it

loves fashion and being the hottest in the room, didn’t need to step on toes to get further but would do so at times Solely to make a point/to call someone out on their shit

is now attending columbia u, rather she’s taking a Break as she makes sure she’s content with the path she’s taking ( aka being the trashy 21 year old she wants to be, chilling at the family home with just her siblings and daddy’s money with no Major worries involving the near future )

isn’t the most studious person, but she’d gotten far enough to begin wrapping up her major whenever she decides to head back

though.. the entire time has been mostly spent sleeping with some of her rich friends, drinking and smoking pot, with the occasional hit of whatever clean enough drug that one of her friends had on them

also spent a lot of her time meeting up with her socialite big sis as a plus one to some cooler events, so while she’s not famous, her name has made the rounds where it matters given her surname’s already established relevance in nyc

when she’s not getting an education and is homebound instead, she’s pissing off her neighbours with her house parties at the family home on the beach, doing dumb shit the second she’s inside of a gala or club — albeit with partial discretion that’s completely ignored whenever around other young adults — and just chilling poolside and staying hydrated fgkldjsg

personality and shit

if i were to use a label to describe her, she'd be a mix between the princess/baby doll, the hedonist and the reveller i think ?? i don’t even know where to place her LKSDFGJLK

self-confidence is through the roof, KNOWS she’s pretty and doesn’t really let rumours or negativity get her down — aside from wanting to unleash hell if someone keeps irritating her for whatever reason

she’s messy as hell, but around the uptight, live-through-your-kids parents of kooklandia she puts on the façade of a poised young woman who has Some fun because she knows it bodes well.. only even then, she doesn’t maintain it bc honestly, who cares —

she’s not a complete dick per se, but she can be snide and boastful when provoked

has something of a superiority complex, independent and lives lavishly with reckless abandon

non-committal yet sensible when it comes to who she sleeps with; typically has a couple of stable fuck buddies but has had some one night stands if she’s feeling it

keeps her true inner circle small, but gets off on attention and likes to stay cordial with some people, so she’s got quite a few friends all the same

like i said earlier, will hang with the pogues and thinks the whole class rivalry thing is kind of stupid when it means sticking with her own would mean dealing with parent pleasers, polo shirt enthusiasts and either being too straight-laced or too destructive for her liking

.. so she’s a far cry from her sister in that regard, otherwise rip GLSKJ

though that doesn’t stop her from unleashing her pompous attitude onto a pogue when it seems appropriate, aka doing anything to piss her off

there really isn’t much to expand on tbh, though i will say that her emboldened nature and need for a good time however she can get it comes out more than her uglier side ( except her vanity. that’ll never go away KSFDG )

some quick plot ideas

a childhood friend or two, pretty standard idea there

could carry over into a trio type of thing depending on where she stands with either of them, or they’re a different couple of pals she’s made over the years

family friends, aka nyc kids or people who’ve rubbed elbows with either of elle’s parents, though they don’t Actually have to be friends of course JGDSFKL

her best friend and confidante, someone she can have cute moments with between the chaos and one of the few people that elle would probably accost someone for if they hurt the other in any way

enemies are always fun ! probably rooted in a competitive streak more than anything else but i’m all ears for a more complex reason

ex-hookup(s), current hookup(s), throw it all at me klgfjd

a hateship/ewb would be fun with her too, oh my god sfdgklj

FAKE FRIENDS !! either in the past or currently, probably stayed friends for the sake of their appearances but have a lot of quiet disdain for each other — though elliot wouldn’t be too bothered by that situation beyond being around someone she deems soul-sucking, face value hype and knowing they probably need her more than she needs them gives her too much satisfaction fkskgls

an ex-something, open to anyone. either someone her parents forced on her to straighten her out a tad that she wound up liking…. after a good period of her telling them to fuck off sdglk or someone she’d been seeing for a while at her own accord, likely someone her parents wouldn’t approve of so readily. would’ve ended the same way: with her calling it off because she didn’t want to settle down, not even for a relationship ( and perhaps bc she’s scared of commitment with her cracked family dynamic that’s been a thing since birth, but that’s another story jsdfkg )

or we can just as easily do high school exes who only really stayed together until graduation bc their parents were being Some level of overbearing with how they’d be such a good couple — not that there was nothing there, just nothing beyond sex and being some kind of status symbol to each other, idk lfkgsd

her designated event pals would be super fun ?? sdgkflj like they go to all of these big parties and galas with their families, break off to do their own thing bc those events are boring as fuck, and head back to her place before she throws an after-party of sorts. they’d be decent friends beyond this though, them being someone she trusts a good bit compared to others in her circle

[avengerscompound]

Finding Home - Chapter 12

Finding Home: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x OFC (Daisy Adams)

Word Count:  3339

Warnings:  Angst, mentions of torture, violence, major character death, mentions of sexual abuse/rape, pregnancy, smut (vaginal sex, oral sex, pregnancy sex, Bisexual MMF threesome)

Synopsis:  Daisy Adams has abilities. She can read minds. Force her thoughts onto others. As a child, she is taken by Hydra and raised as a weapon. Daisy finds another and speaks to him in his dreams. He has been taken too. He wants to return to the man he loves. Can she get them back together? Will she even want to once she realizes that she’s falling in love?

Chapter 12

Time moved on as it usually does.  I found out I was pregnant again. Steve and I had not been particularly careful because, after James’ violent introduction into the world, I’d been told I probably couldn’t have any more children.  I didn’t know how to tell Steve. He was so good with James, but he was still so reckless all the time and his thoughts were rarely about being a family unless they involved Bucky.  So I kept it to myself.  Wanda scolded me constantly for it.  She told me she was going to tell him if I didn’t soon.  I knew she wouldn’t.

I was slowly working myself up to telling him when the news broke that Rumlow had escaped from prison and was basically just going on a rampage under the name Crossbones.  I became obsessed with just that. Rumlow had taken part of me when I was in Hydra.  He couldn’t just get away with it like that.

We had finally received intelligence about a target Rumlow was planning to hit and Steve had called us together to plan an attack.  We sat around the briefing table.  Everyone else was relaxed and in that boring meeting mode, people fall into when they just want to get on with things.  I, however, was buzzing.  I sat bolt upright, fixed on Steve.

“I’d like to take Sam, Natasha, Vision, and Wanda.  It should be a relatively straightforward extraction.”  Steve said.  “Any objections.”

“I want to go,”  I said.

“You know that’s not practical,”  Steve interjected.  “Until James is able to be left with other people …”

“So what am I here for?  Why even bring me into these briefings?  He’s one.  He can be left with other people.”  I yelled.  I needed to go on this mission.  I needed to get back at Rumlow for what he did to me.

“Perhaps she has a point, Captain Rogers?  It may be the perfect opportunity for Miss Adams to test her abilities in the field.  I could always stay here with the child.  He responds to me.”  Vision suggested.

“You are a fighter, she is not,”  Steve said.  “The team stands as is. We leave in an hour.  Suit up.”  

He got up and headed for the door.  I chased after him.

“You have to stop trying to protect me from this world we’re part of,” I said jogging along behind him to keep up with him.

“I’m quite confident that’s not true,”  Steve said.

“Am I an Avenger or not?”  I asked.

“Not.”

I grabbed his arm.  He stopped and turned to face me.  “Then why am I here?”

He cupped my jaw with his hand, stroking his thumb along my cheek. “Because I love you, and it’s the safest place for you to be.”

“I’m not helpless,”  I said.

“But our son is.”  

I pulled away from him.  Fucking Steve, throwing out the ‘our son’ to try and manipulate me into staying.  “So you stay with him and I’ll go.”

His hand went to my back and he ran it down my spine.  “I don’t understand why this is such a big deal to you.”

I turned and opened my mouth to tell him, but I couldn’t do it.  I didn’t want him to know about my history with Rumlow.  How Rumlow had started having sex with me while I was still too young and ill-informed to know better.  I didn’t want him to look at me differently.  “I can make you change your mind you know?”

“Daisy.” He scolded.  “I know you won’t do that.”

“Then let me come.”  I was whining like a petulant child and I hated myself for it.

“Why do you want this so badly?  You’ve never cared about going on a mission before.”

I started walking away from him.  This wasn’t going to end well.

“Daisy.” He called and this time he jogged to keep up with me.  “Convince me.”

I kept walking in the direction of our quarters.  “Back in Hydra, I knew him.  He did things to me.”

Steve caught my arm and I tried to shake him off.  He didn’t let me and I spun around to face him.  “What kind of things?”

“Please don’t make me say it,”  I said looking at my feet.

“Daisy.” He said my name softly.  Like it was a plea.  As if by saying it, I would suddenly not have had to live through the things I did.  Or that I’d tell him everything and he’d magically be able to fix it.

I tried to pull my arm away from him again but he held me in place and just stared at me.  “Let me go!  I need to go check on James.”

“No, you don’t.  I know you’re always connected to him.  So talk to me.”

“I was a child.”  I cried.  “I was a kid, Steve.  Please, I need to come.  I can’t let him get away with what he did to me.”

Steve’s face turned dark.  “Tell Vision I’m switching you out.”

I stood on the rooftops of Lagos with Sam.  I was scanning the crowd for anyone who may have seen Rumlow and not known about it.  There were a few, but they were old memories.  A good sign that he’d been here to stake things out but not helpful for right now.

Steve’s voice came through the comms.  He was using this mission as a teaching tool.  “Alright what do you see?”  He wanted to see how much Wanda had learned.  He wanted me to learn from her.

“Standard beat cops.  Small station.  Quiet street.  It’s a good target.” Wanda replied.

“There’s an ATM on the South corner which means?”  Steve asked.

“Cameras,” Wanda answered.

“Both cross streets are one way?”

“So compromised escape routes.”

“Means our guy doesn’t care about being seen.  He’s not afraid to make a mess on the way out.”   Steve paused for a second.  “Daisy?”

“No one has seen him today but he’s definitely been here,”  I answered.

“You see that range rover halfway up the block?”  Steve asked.

“Yeah, the red one?  It’s cute.”  Wanda replied.  She sounded cocky.  She knew how powerful she was.  She thought she was invincible.  

“It’s also bulletproof,”  Natasha added.  “Which means private security.  Which means more guns.  Which means more headaches for somebody.  Probably us.”

“You guys know I can move things with my mind right?”  Wanda teased.

“Looking over your shoulder needs to become second nature.”  Nat scolded.

“Anyone ever tell you, you’re a little paranoid?”  Sam teased.

“Not to my face.  Why?  Did you hear something?”  Nat returned.

“Eyes on target folks,”  Steve said sternly.  I smiled at him entering dad mode on us.  “This is the best lead we’ve had on Rumlow in six months, and I don’t want to lose him.”

Sam laughed, peering over the roof.  “If he sees us coming that won’t be a problem.  He kinda hates us.”

“Sam, Daisy, see that garbage truck?  Tag it.”  Steve said.

Sam let his robotic bird out to scan the truck while I focused on the driver.  The driver didn’t speak English, so shuffling through his thoughts took a little effort.  I had to sort pictures together and work out what they meant exactly.  

“He’s heading to the Center for Infectious Disease,”  I said.

“Yeah, that trucks loaded for max weight,”  Sam added.  “And the driver’s armed.”

“It’s a battering ram.” Natasha yelped.

“Go now!”  Steve ordered.

Everyone jumped into action.  This was the bit I was a little useless for.  I abseiled off the side of the building as Sam flew off in the direction of Steve.  

I met with Natasha and was sat on her motorcycle as we waited for orders.

Steve’s voice came over comms.  “Body armor, AR-15s.  I make seven hostiles.”

Sam then started counting them down.

After a little while, we saw a huge cloud of gas billowing up into the sky, glittering with the telltale sign of Wanda’s magic.  

After a few more beats Steve’s voice crackled through comms. “Rumlow has a biological weapon.”

“I’m on it,”  Nat said bursting into action.

As we headed in through the gates of the facility I jumped clear of the bike.  I hit the ground awkwardly.  Damn it.  I needed to listen to Steve more.  I clambered to my feet, as a couple of Rumlow’s men came at me.  I was dazed from the fall, but I managed to shut down their minds.  They fell to the ground unconscious.  I staggered towards the truck where Natasha was much more effectively taking out Rumlow’s men.

I saw Rumlow throw her into a truck and I went to touch his mind to stop him.  Take him out.  The familiarity of it.  The depth of hate. The remainder of my old life.  It froze me.  I just stood.  Unable to act.  Completely repulsed.  

Rumlow climbed into a truck and as it drove away he started firing on Steve. I saw Steve fall from the window and I ran to him.

“Sam. He’s in an AMV heading north.”  He said through comms.  “What just happened with you?  Why didn’t you take him out?”  He said taking my arm and running in the direction of Nat.

“I froze.  I’m sorry.”

“I knew this was a mistake.”

Shit. Fucking shit.

He pushed me towards Nat and we both climbed onto the bike again and she sped off in the direction of Rumlow and his men.  

“I’ve got four and they’re splitting up,”  Sam said.

Nat pulled the bike into a crowded market.  “I’ve got the two on the left.”  She said as she dismounted.

I looked around.  There were so many people here.  All of them in danger.  This was how I could fix this.  I closed my eyes and sent my mind out to all of them.  I touched each one, one at a time and when I felt like everyone in the square who were just there to shop, or socialize, or run their business, was connected to me I took hold. I had become a hive mind.  Pushing this group of people out of the square, as far away as possible.  The moved slowly like zombies, but they moved.   I moved them.  

There were explosions and the fight was sending people flying through structures.  I didn’t pay any attention to that.  That was all happening far away.   I just moved the people out.  

There was a huge explosion.  It broke my connection with everyone.  I looked around.  The square was empty except for a few unconscious people, Steve and Wanda.  The building in front of them had a hole in the side and was burning.  I could feel the pain from injured people inside.  Wanda looked devastated.  I staggered towards them.  My face felt wet.  I looked down at the ground, blood ran from my face and pooled on the ground.  I left a trail of it as I walked.  

“What happened?”  I asked.

Steve turned to me.  His face went white.  Everything went black.

I woke on the Quinn Jet feeling light-headed.  I had my head resting on Steve’s lap and he held a cold compress on my head.  Wanda was crying.  I went to talk to her using my mind but it was like I’d stepped in front of speakers with an active microphone.  I clutched my head at the loud shriek that filled it.  Steve looked down at me.

“Taking you was a mistake.”  He said.

I looked away from him.  

He turned my head back to face him.  “You’re going to have a brain scan when we get back.  These nosebleeds are getting worse.”  

“Stop talking to me like that,”  I whispered.

“You wanted to be on the team.  On the team, I’m your commanding officer. This is how commanding officers talk to their subordinates.”

I sat up and curled my legs to my chest.  “I saved those people.”

“You nearly got me killed and yourself.”  He snapped at me.  

“Steve, that’s enough,”  Nat interjected.

“Nat, she …”

“She did fine.  Nothing that happened today was anyone’s fault except Rumlow’s.  Least of all Daisy’s.  She cleared the plaza of everyone. I get you are scared about something happening to her.  Treating her like this isn’t helping anyone.”

When the jet had landed, I jumped up and dashed into the compound.  Vision had come to meet us holding James’ hand.  He looked so comical wearing a v-neck sweater with Jamie’s hand clasped in his.  In normal circumstances, I would have stopped and taken time to really soak it in.  I just took James offering Vision a quiet thank you and hurried to the room I shared with Steve.

I collapsed on the bed.  James sat next to me looking at me.  I felt his concern for me and tears started leaking from my eyes.  James put his hands over my face and I suddenly felt really calm.  

“Did you just do that?”  I asked pushing his hands away from me.

He looked at me and I knew that he had.  

The door opened and Steve entered.  James stood and held his arms up to Steve pushing the desire to be picked up.  Steve came and lifted him.

“I’m sorry, Daisy.  I got scared when you collapsed.  You need to stop pushing your abilities like that.  I think they’re hurting you.”

“You were right though.  I shouldn’t have gone.”  

I felt the bed shift as he sat down next to me.  He rested his hand on my ass.  “You saved a lot of people.  I’m glad you did.”  I rolled over to face him and he ran his fingers down my cheek. “You’re still covered in blood.  You should take a shower.”  

“You can talk.”  

“You have one first and I’ll watch Jamie,”  Steve suggested.

“What about Vision watches Jamie and we have one together?”

I was under the water rinsing the caked off blood from my face when Steve entered the bathroom.  I turned to him and watched him undress. He had bruises up the left side of his ribs and the right side of his abs.  There was a large one on his back over his left shoulder that stretched down and across his spine.

When he stepped into the water I trailed my fingers over his ribs.  “You worry so much about me getting hurt and look at this,”  I said.

His hands went to my face.  “Those will all heal.”

“You’re pretty reckless, Steve,”  I said trailing my fingers down his chest.  “I know you think you have nothing to live for.  Maybe you should look a little harder.”

He looked at me sadly for a moment.   I wanted to read him.  See what he was thinking.  I’d promised I’d stop doing that.  So I let him keep his privacy.  I guess I was learning to people after all.  I nearly told him about being pregnant too.  The words were on the tip of my tongue.  His reason to live.  I couldn’t do it though.  Not after what had just happened.  We’d just end up fighting.

He pulled me up into a kiss and I wrapped my arms around his neck.  He moved his hands to my back and then slid them down to my ass.  His fingers gripped my flesh briefly before he turned me and guided me towards the wall.  He stood me under the showerhead, placing my hands on the shower wall above my head.  He shifted my legs apart and engulfed me from behind.  His hands roamed my body, traveling from my throat to my breasts, down my back, and between my legs.  He stroked his fingers up and down my folds, pressing down on my clit before releasing and swiping back down again.  

I felt his lips against my back followed by his tongue as he lapped stripes up my spine, collecting the water that rolled down my skin. His teeth grazed over the back of my neck and I let out a soft moan.

I let my hands fall from the wall and pressed myself up against him. His erection pushed against my ass and he wrapped his arms around me. One hand gripping my breast the other he returned to my cunt.  He pushed two fingers deep inside of me, curling them and pressing against my internal walls.  He rolled his thumb against my clit and pinched my nipple.  

I moaned loudly and ground into his hand as he sucked on my earlobe. Heat pooled in me, making my skin prickle.  My muscles clenched and I reached behind me and began stroking his cock, pressing it against my ass and running my hand up and down.

He turned me again and lifted me like I weighed nothing.  He pressed me against the wall and entered me. I gasped and wrapped myself around him, pulling him tightly against me.  

“I love you, Steve.  I love when you’re inside of me.”  I purred, nuzzling against his neck.  

He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back.  I opened my mouth letting the water from the shower pool and spillover my lips.  He bit my throat as he thrust into me.  It sent jolts through me.  My orgasm crested.  I dug my nails into Steve’s back, clinging on for dear life.  He picked up the force of his thrusts and I came.  My whole body clenching around him.  

“Fuck! Steve!”  I cried out.  

He grunted and thrust hard into me.  I felt him spill inside of me, and his whole body seemed to suddenly relax.  His mouth met mine again and we kissed slowly as he let me down.  

“I love you too, Daisy.  I’ll try and be less reckless.  You’re right. I still feel so constantly on the outside.”  He said.   It made my heartbreak for him.

“I know.  I feel the same way.  It’s like I’ve never had anyone.  I kind of had Bucky, but not really.  Now I have Jamie.”  I took his hand and kissed it stepping out of the shower.  He switched off the water and followed me.

“You have me too,”  Steve said.  It was almost like a question.  Like he needed the validation.  

I wrapped a towel around myself and looked up at him. “I sometimes feel like I have you but also … I’m not good enough for you.  You are so good.  I feel like the only thing I have in common with you is Bucky.  That that’s all you see in me.”  I shook my head.

Steve pulled me against his chest and I melted into him.  “I think originally maybe that’s true.  You were pregnant with Jamie.  I just saw you like this link to him.  It’s more than that though.  I hope you know that.  I do love you.  As for being too good for you.  People always look at me as this perfect man, who has only pure thoughts and virtuous actions.  You’ve seen in my head.  You know that’s not true.”

“You love him still.  If he came back. I’m still the second choice.”  

He didn’t answer for what felt like forever.  I nearly scanned him.  It took all my willpower not to.  All I would have to do is relax and stop blocking him and I’d know every thought he had.  Instead, I used the time to think.  What would I do if Bucky came back?  All this time I had been so set on the idea that his being here would make it better.  That we could somehow be a family together because of what I’d seen in Steve’s mind.  I’d forgotten that what people think and what they do aren’t always the same thing.

“Do you love Bucky?”  Steve asked, finally breaking the silence.  His hand went to my hair, tangling his fingers in it.

“Yes. Not the way you do though.  But I do.  He’s the only family I’d ever known.  Until now.”

“Maybe … when Bucky comes back he’ll choose both of us.”

// NEXT

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 6

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV. There's non-explicit smut in this part!

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Remember that questionable morals remark? Yea, this chapter is the reason. Y/N, girl, you gotta stop... But at least it's kinda funny. Okay, it's pretty damn hilarious.

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! She is amazing. I larb her. 💙

"And then I was like 'No Way!' and he was like 'Totally' and that's how I met Tony Stark," I finished excitedly, opposite a laughing Mr. Davies. The story of how I met Iron Man was a total hit with the teacher and my vigorous mimicking of the facial expressions that described my feelings during the time had my teacher busting a gut something loud. 

"I honestly have some trouble believing that but - hey, what the hell, he's a billionaire superhero, it's basically expected for him to be a little strange," When his laughing fit was over, Mr. Davies reminded me he was, in fact, a psychology doctor. There was serious brain power under that easygoing attitude.

I expected detention to be bearable in his company but Mr. Davies rose above expectations, welcoming me with another cup of tea and some colouring pages. Admittedly, I contemplated stealing some - those mandalas were really captivating.

"Oh, he's strange alright, but nothing I can't handle," I twirled a pencil between my fingers. 

Mr. Davies grinned knowingly, too knowingly for my comfort, and I had no choice but to make a stone face before looking him in the eye. 

He smirked. "So, anything else interesting for you going on?" 

"Nah, not much. Really looking forward to being done with high school and going out into the bigger world, y'know."

"You turned 18 already, right?" I nodded in confirmation. "Maybe get a job, something part-time? OsCorp always hands these leaflets out, they're looking for lab assistants."

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't need a job. Plus, I'm sure Bruce-err, Doctor Banner would smash me if I went to work at OsCorp," I glossed over my slip-up, hoping Mr. Davies would do the same. But no such luck happened.

"Right. Me and Bruce, we actually go way back," He smiled, stirring his tea. I perked up in interest. "We studied psychology together, sat next to each other in half of our classes. It's a shame what happened to him but I hope he's happy now," Mr. Davies was smiling earnestly, looking out of the window where rain had started flowing down on the glass.

"Really? That's cool," I said, lacking anything else to add to his statement.

"He used to skip classes and always lost his glasses even though they'd be on top of his head," My teacher continued. "Banner was actually quite a rowdy student," He added with a smirk.

"Hah, he still routinely loses his glasses, although he wears them on a string around his neck now," I chuckled fondly. Bruce was such a dork.

I chatted with Mr. Davies some more, just casual conversation about everything and nothing in between. His parents were hippies, he had two moms and one dad and according to him, Thor was very overrated. I didn't even notice we were up in each other's space until our knees brushed when Mr. Davies - "Call me Will" - was showing me the pictures of his cats, dog and lizard. I figured that as the hippy child, personal space was kind of a foreign concept to him - and that rang true, I've seen Will give out more shoulder grabs and high fives than anyone else sans the gym teacher.

The clock's ding announced 6 PM and I quickly gathered my things, hastily saying goodbye. I was stopped though.

"If you don't mind a quick stop at my house, I can drop you off. It's pouring buckets outside and I would hate you to get sick," Will spoke casually. 

Technically, I knew he was bending some rules of conduct. But it was also 55° outside and the water coming from the sky was unlikely to be warm. So I caved without any guilty conscience, obediently following Mr. Davies -Will- to the parking lot where a new-ish Jeep Cherokee proudly stood amongst several older, less gently used cars. With New York city traffic being the way it is, I didn't text Bruce yet, fully expecting for the trip to take a whole hour if not more. 

Thankfully the parking gods were merciful and Will managed to find a spot right across his two-story townhouse. "You're welcome to come in if you feel comfortable, I just need to fetch some documents," He said.

And that's where I fucked up. I nodded affirmatively, I followed him through the door and made myself as comfortable as I could on his living room couch. It was a cozy home, his iguana chilled opposite me in it's terrarium and the little mutt that was his dog really reminded me of the atrocity that my parents used to own before they had me. It yipped and yapped, wagging it's bushy tail at me and demanding pets.

The steaming tea mug was dutifully placed in my hand by Will who hopped upstairs immediately after that, skipping steps. I watched the man with a benign stare: he'd removed his sweater and I could see the defined muscles of his back and the admirable backside that he possessed. There was no harm in looking respectfully, right?

I was halfway through my mug when Will came back down, brandishing a truly impressive stack of manila folders, setting it on a nearby table before sitting down on the other end of the couch, maintaining a respectful distance between us. We chatted some more and the more he spoke about his current research, the more passionate he became; by the end of his truly epic description of the effects that anti-depressants have on the learning process of depressed adolescents, I was mesmerized by the way his pink lips formed words.

Sitting with my calves tucked under my butt, leaning against the armrest , I was a goner. He caught my eye, diverting his own stare from my exposed legs to the side, blinking furiously. It calmed my spirits somewhat, knowing that I wasn't the only one affected by the sudden change of atmosphere in the room. My mug landed on the low table with a loud clang as I leaned forward, the sleeves of my sweater accidentally brushing against his leg.

Will cleared his throat and I startled, tilting my head up towards him in confusion. He was staring at me with a mix of fear and delight in his eyes, like a boy preparing for his first kiss. I would have laughed at the absurdity of the situation if the darkness in his stormy grey eyes didn't make my own breath do somersaults somewhere between my lungs and my esophagus.

Fifteen minutes later, both my sweater and my panties were thrown somewhere in the furthest end of the room and those thin lips were making me see stars. For some reason he was convinced I'd had only typical teenage disappointing sex up to this point and was really eager to show me what a grown man can do. I mean, I wasn't complaining, he was really, really good with his mouth - but I didn't have all night, so I flipped the tables and showed off my own oral skills until he had to bodily remove me from his dick and lift me onto it. Every movement felt surreal, like I was living in a dream. Despite my common sense yelling expletives at me, I kissed Will back with twice the heat and none of the finesse, each of us reaching the peak nearly in sync.

"Can I get that ride to the tower now?"

Will let out a decidedly unmanly squeak when he realised where exactly he'd be taking me after we did what we'd done. I smiled at him in hopes of calming down the man but it seemed it came out more predatory. He shivered, his dick twitching within me.

I texted Bruce the same time I was getting into Will's car. My brain was still somewhat in a state of shock and I used the brief moment to tidy up my hair and makeup, taking note of my sex-flushed face. I only hoped I didn't stink like man-sweat and Will's cologne. 

Another realization was startled out of me: that was my first time having had sex without a condom. I was on birth control since I was fourteen so pregnancy wasn't a scare; currently, I was more worried about the mildly uncomfortable, wet feeling in my panties where my teacher's cum had pooled out.

Yikes. That moment Will took a careful monitoring of my facial expression and it took me a lot to keep it somewhere between neutral and happy. Internally, I was freaking the fuck out, torn between horror and incredible arousal.

It morphed into full fledged mortification when I saw Bruce's lab coat from afar, the man standing next to the entrance door. Having had a dumb moment, I texted Banner that a former schoolmate of his was the one giving me a ride and it really shouldn't have been a surprise that Bruce would go downstairs to greet Will.

'Fuck you, you dumbass,' was my approximate train of thought, directed at myself, when all three of us gathered, hiding from the cold rain and the autumn wind under the safety of the roof. Both men shared a brief, warm embrace before Bruce's arm snaked around my waist.

"You go upstairs, okay? I don't want you to get sick," Banner said, eyeing the disastrous weather.

I looked at Will, finding his eyebrow cocked at Bruce's frivolous gesture and a faint flush blossoming on his face. The man shuffled awkwardly, giving me a small wave and a tight-lipped smile before turning his attention back to Bruce. I wished him good night, hastily retreating into the safety of the elevator.

"What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fu-u-uck..." I chanted under my breath, acutely aware of the blossoming bruises on my hips where my teacher held me, the dampness of my underwear. 

The elevator doors opened, revealing the common room couch being occupied by Wanda. Peter, Wanda's brother and the two resident super soldiers setting the table for dinner. Tony was off bickering with Loki and Strange by the coffee maker and Thor was standing outside on the patio, doing something very strange with his hands and his hammer. Was he summoning the shitty weather?! The audacity!

"Hey," Wanda greeted me quietly. Her eyebrows raised upon seeing my face full of perplexed confusion. "You okay?.. Wait, what? Tell me you did not!" As my internal crisis reached its peak, I remembered that a) Wanda is a telepath and b) There were other people in the room.

One ungraceful landing next to her later, I turned my bleary stare onto her. "Oops?" I offered in the way of explanation. What was I supposed to say if I didn't know for myself what the devil possessed me to fuck my social studies teacher after school? He was fucking hot, okay.

The witch smirked, obviously following my defensive internal monologue. "Oops?" Her tone was laced with gleeful sarcasm.

"I'm a human disaster," I groaned, finally caving in and palming my face. Wanda began snickering. "I have zero impulse control," I continued wallowing in self-pity. The redhead just cackled harder.

"I feel so attacked right now," Tony's voice loudly announced the man's presence. I was thankful for the distraction, happy that today, out of all the days, he decided to make the situation about himself. "I am the resident hot mess and nothing you do will change that. Or get out of my tower," He made a dramatic gesture, waving along everybody to the table.

At the dinner table, with Peter on one side of me and Bruce on the other, Wanda's speech was clear. "I think you two are about on the same level, Tony," Her tone was dry. The looks she cast me were cheeky at best and downright gleeful at worst. Not only was she the resident telepath but also, apparently, a huge drama fan.

I, on the other hand, felt like a fish thrown out of water. My mind was still jumping between astounded and horrified like a rabid rabbit and Bruce's excited remark about seeing a former schoolmate only worsened the anxiety. My brain was telling me EVERYBODY knew EVERYTHING whereas in reality, it was only Wanda and it didn't seem like she was upset enough to give up my dirty little secret. If anything, the witch seemed almost impressed. And that dry, mildly interested facial expression only solidified when she put two and two together: my teacher, whom I fucked, also known as Bruce's former study buddy.

"I have some spare sweatpants that might fit you," Wanda directly addressed me as we were finishing up the wonderful chicken roast courtesy of Clint and Bucky. Nobody batted an eye at the sudden exclamation, evidently used to being around someone who could hear their thoughts. 

I nodded, mentally waving a big, red thank you note. With sparkles. And hearts. Wanda chuckled.

"Hey, did you change your perfume?" Peter's innocent remark made me nearly freeze in my spot. 

Kill Bill sirens started playing in my head on repeat as I heard Wanda choke on her asparagus, inadvertently drawing attention to the three of us. Peter looked at us in confusion: Wanda kept on gasping, but it seemed like the dam had finally burst and she was laughing in earnest, snorting, loudly, as I engaged my willpower to stop myself from doing the same. Needless to say, it was a spectacular failure and now both of us were bent over our dinner plates, absolutely losing it - much to the concern of the adults present at the table. The rest of the team was growing concerned.

"Oh my god, your FACE!" Wanda's incoherent mumbling and the accusing finger pointed in my direction did it.

"A lady doesn't... kiss... and tell...." I fervently gulped the oxygen as I tried to articulate my thoughts into something comprehendible. The hysterical laughter won by a wide margin.

"Who's the lucky guy?" Natasha seemed to get the gist, relaxing immediately and picking up her fork to continue her meal. 

I shook my head, unable to form a coherent thought, much less a sentence. Bruce chuckled from somewhere beside me and just like that, the tension broke. The adults in the room traded knowing looks, chuckling and snorting amongst themselves. 

The moments I needed to calm down went to waste really quick: my first laughing fit over, I took one look at Wanda and yet again, both of us were puffing out our cheeks to try and prevent another hysterical fit. 

"Whew," I exaggerated, eyes wide and looking ANYWHERE but at Wanda.

"What a wild ride," She snorted and I put a palm over my face, shaking my head in... 

Disappointment at myself? I wasn't disappointed. Now that I got over the WTF factor, I found the situation to be pretty damn hot. Will was hot. Eh, whatever. 

My casual mood of zero-fucks-given began returning. After few of the last bites of potatoes, I was prepared to face  Natasha. I looked the Black Widow dead in the eye as I firmly stated: "And for the record? We are NOT having this conversation."

She elegantly arched her eyebrow whilst everybody else held their breath. "That bad, huh?" The retort was immediate.

I allowed myself to radiate a bit of that newly acquired smugness I had begun to feel: "You have no idea," I hoped my smirk was as devious as I wished it to be.

"Alright, heartbreaker, colour me impressed," Natasha nodded in affirmation. We shared another meaningful look and reverted back to our plates with the menfolk observing us akin animals at a zoo. 

Somewhat amazed, slightly afraid. Bruce's stare was somewhat concerned, too: he contemplatively eyed me from the corner of his eye, the same way I eyed him, checking out the fact that he appeared somewhat annoyed. Like a proper father would, I suppose. 

Luckily for me, I finished off the remaining food and drink quickly, with Wanda being my saviour once again as she all but bodily dragged me into the elevator, promising to return me to the science den in no more than an hour. Tony went to complain but was promptly stopped by Natasha inconspicuously reaching for the butter knife: the engineer knew how to pick his battles. I didn't doubt that Romanoff was going to hear "all about it" second-hand from Wanda and I was fully prepared to face the redhead spy's judgement. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, escaped that clever woman.

A quick shower and a change of clothes later, I sat on Wanda's couch, nervously fiddling with the two sizes too big sweatpants, occasionally stopping to straighten the plain white tank top that just barely fit me. I washed my hair but didn't  dry it before Wanda was impatiently telling me to hurry up: the mess sat atop my head held up by a single scrunchie.

"Okay... Where do I start?" She asked me, looking like the cat that ate the canary. 

"Don't start," I stopped her with a raised palm. "It was a casual, one-time thing and I've no interest in pursuing that shit on the reg," I answered honestly. The fact that he was my teacher simultaneously worsened the situation and made me elated. But ultimately, I didn't want to risk the trouble that would come along with this mess. Besides, I had no feelings for the guy whatsoever. As I've said previously, it was just bad impulse control on some teenage hormone steroids.

"You're a strange one," Wanda's penetrating gaze made me shiver. "You live without a care in the world but at the same time, your mind is always all over the place. It is interesting."

"Uh, thanks? I guess?"

"I think we should try being friends," The witch remarked after a brief moment of awkward silence. I stared at her, dumbfounded. "Because of my powers, I can literally see through people and predict what they will do before they even think about doing it. With you, it's not like that," She explained, her Slavic accent making a full guest appearance.

"So...you want to be friends because I'm a fucking mess?" I couldn't help but feel a little offended. The occasional shitty decision aside, I didn't think of myself as that bad.

"I want to be friends because I like you," Wanda fondly rolled her eyes, standing up from the couch and motioning for me to follow. "Now let's get you to Tony or he'll blow a gasket. He's already insufferable as he is."

@another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem

[chuffyfan87]

Growing Pains. Part 1d (NSFW)

“Sorry.” He laughed gently and got up to go into the other room with the boys.

By the time the film finished the girls and Duffy were all sobbing at the romantic ending, even Tilly!

Charlie wandered into the lounge with a box of tissues. “You might be needing these?”

"Don't laugh!" Duffy sniffled, grabbing a tissue.

“I’m not laughing.”

"Have the boys finished killing all extraterrestrial life in the cosmos?"

“Yes they have. They’re just going up to bed.”

"And that's where you girls should be headed too." Duffy added.

Tilly groaned, “But it’s early!”

"Come on you've all had a busy day. Plus me and your dad are tired too from someone waking us up at 6am!"

The twins looked at each other and giggled. “I’m not sure who that was...”

"I wonder..!" Duffy chuckled. "Now off you go to bed."

“Night night mama.” All three girls said and kissed their mum’s cheek. Then they turned to their dad, “Night dad.” They kissed his cheek before all three went off to bed.

Whilst the kids were getting themselves into bed Duffy went through to the kitchen to make herself and Charlie some hot chocolate.

Charlie yawned and closed his eyes on the sofa. He was knackered.

Placing the mugs on the coffee table she snuggled up next to him. "Aw, my poor sleepy boy!" She teased.

He placed his hand on her thigh, “I’m getting too old.” He yawned again.

"Maybe but we survived." She smiled.

“We did.”

"We have five teenagers living under this roof - heaven help us!"

“It’s bedlam. But I love it.” He smiled.

"Its been nice to have the whole family back together even if it's just for Christmas." She smiled.

“I agree with you, it has.” He kissed her neck.

"How about we take these upstairs..." She indicated the mugs on the table. "...and I'll give you a back rub?" She suggested.

“Just a back rub? That all I get for Christmas these days.” He smirked.

"You were the one complaining you were tired..." She teased.

“Never too tired to make you come.”

"Such a charmer!" She giggled.

“I didn’t give you your Christmas present...”

"I was starting to think that maybe old age was making you forgetful..."

“I’m just hoping it fits.”

"What exactly are you implying by that?" She pouted.

“That I haven’t got the wrong size and it’s too big. Or I’ve misjudged how big your tits are and it’s too small up top. I wouldn’t be complaining...”

She shook her head indulgently at him. "Its not like my underwear drawer has a lock on it Charlie, you could just check and save yourself a lot of effort."

“I did. But I may have got distracted.” He smirked.

"That explains a lot!"

“Explains what?”

"I thought it was one of the kids that had rifled through it. Apparently I was wrong."

“Why would the kids be going through your underwear drawer?”

"That's what I couldn't quite figure out either. I thought maybe they thought I'd hidden their presents in there or something." She shrugged.

He laughed gently and stood up, holding his hand out for Duffy. “Shall we?”

"I thought you'd never ask." She smiled, taking his hand.

Together with their mugs of hot chocolate, Charlie and Duffy went upstairs to bed.

Once upstairs Duffy sat on the bed resting back against the pillows and sipped her drink whilst she waited to see where Charlie had hidden her present.

He’d hidden it under the bed. He pulled out quite a large gift bag. “Here we go, beautiful. Merry Christmas.”

She raised an eyebrow as he placed it on the bed, she'd been expecting something smaller.

“Open it and you’ll find out what’s inside.”

Taking hold of the bag she disappeared into the bathroom, letting out several childlike squeals of glee as she examined the contents.

It was a series of presents. A new underwear set (that he’d hoped he’d got right, beautiful colouring to match her skin tone) a new necklace and bracelet and two bottles of her favourite perfume. As well as a few other small bits and bobs.

After what seemed like forever Duffy finally poked her head out from behind the bathroom door, a purposefully neutral expression on her face.

“Is it ok? Does it fit?”

"Well, it took me a few moments to figure out exactly how to get it on..."

“What do you mean?” He frowned.

"Trust you to go for the bells and whistles model rather than something standard." She teased. "Its a good job I'm still pretty flexible so I could do it up!"

“Do I get to see how beautiful you are in it? Or do I have to use my imagination?”

"Oh I'm sure you've already done that plenty of times since you bought it!" She giggled. "Close your eyes!"

Charlie closed his eyes.

Duffy opened the door wider and re-entered the bedroom, sliding on a pair of heels as she passed her dresser. She stood before him, the present he'd bought her hidden from his view by her silk dressing gown that was tied at the waist, she'd also refreshed her hair and make up. "You can open your eyes again."

Charlie opened his eyes. He ran his gaze over Duffy, “You are so gorgeous.”

"Would you like to help me with the final unwrapping?" She asked, her hands playing with the tie of her dressing gown.

He reached up to untie her dressing gown, revealing the set underneath. He gasped.

"What is it with you and ribbons?" She teased gently.

He pushed off her dressing gown, allowing it to fall into a heap onto the floor. He ran his fingertips across the material of her breasts, “Fucking hell.”

"You approve of your present to yourself then?"

“I really do.” He swallowed. “You’re stunning.”

She cast her eyes over him. "You appear to be rather overdressed for the occasion."

“Would you like to undress me?”

"You really have gotten lazy in your old age!" She remarked as she bent over to reach for the bottom of his tshirt.

His hands began to roam her body. She really hadn’t changed in the last twenty odd years.

"And here was me thinking that getting a toddler dressed and undressed was the most difficult thing to do. Turns out I was wrong!" She smirked.

“Would you like me to stand up?”

"No, just keep your hands to yourself for a minute whilst I get your tshirt over your head!" She chided playfully.

“Sorry.” He smirked. “It’s your fault for being too bloody sexy!”

"If you don't behave yourself I'll just go to bed instead." She replied, placing her hands on her hips and giving him a stern look.

“Oh I intend to behave.” His cock twitched because of her stern look.

"Good boy. Now how about we get you out of those uncomfortable clothes?"

“Best idea you ever had.” He undid his belt and removed his trousers, leaving him sat in just his boxers.

"Now that's a lot better." She smiled as she straddled herself across his lap.

He grabbed her breasts, “Duffy?”

"Yes darling?" She asked, draping her arms around his neck.

“Who’d have thought it, hey?” He smiled. “You and me, raising our beautiful children into adults and teenagers. Nobody thought it would happen, did they?”

"They all expected you to have gotten bored of me by now."

“Yeah they did.” He sighed, “Sex with you is different.”

"Thank you. I think..." She chuckled.

“Always has been. Even now. After all this time.”

"You make me feel old when you phrase it like that!" She pouted.

He kissed her pout. “I can fuck you and make love to you in the same breath. That’s different.”

"How skillful of you!" She giggled.

His fingertips ran up her back, “I love you.”

"Good!"

“And you look fit as fuck, in that.”

Duffy couldn't help but laugh at his remark. "And you've been spending far too much time around our teenage sons!"

“Maybe.” His hands moved around the front of her and cupped her breasts.

"Though that does remind me that I meant to ask the boys what Jake's friend meant by a word he used to describe me the other week."

“What did he call you?”

"They were discussing a film they'd seen and they were comparing me to the mum of one of the characters. I didn't quite catch the start of what Andy said but Craig seemed very enthusiastic in his agreement though Jake didn't look too impressed." She shrugged.

Charlie laughed, “Craig didn’t call you a milf, did he?”

"Yes! That was it! Is that even a word?!"

“And you have no idea what it means?” He smiled and met her eye.

"No... Have I missed something..? Tell me!" She pouted.

“Craig wants to fuck you.” He smiled, “Milf stands for mother I’d like to fuck.”

"What?!" She gasped. "But... But... I've known those boys since they were seven! That's so wrong!" She covered her face with her hands, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“Would appear you might be wank bank material.” Charlie shifted her slightly, he seemed to get harder thinking about someone else wanking over her. “You’re beautiful. And these lads are seeing that.”

"How am I supposed to face them now?!" She moved to bury her face in her husband's shoulder.

“By being normal.”

She looked up. "Will you stop finding this so funny?"

“I find it turns me on.” He admitted, “Does it not make you a little bit horny? To know you’ve got a bunch of eighteen year olds wanking over you?”

"I honestly thought that you were the only one who indulged in that particular habit."

“Wanking? Or wanking over you?”

"Wanking over me. Believe me I'm well aware of the urges of males in that department!"

“Seems you’ve got a few more people who like to wank over you.” Charlie's hand began to stroke the outside of her knickers.

"You're really enjoying that fact aren't you? It doesn't make you jealous?"

“No it doesn’t make me jealous. Turns me on.” He whispered in her ear as he slowly moved her knickers to the side.

"Because you get the reality when they just get the fantasy?"

“Something like that.”

"Well, maybe we should stop talking so you can get on with enjoying the reality?" She suggested with a smile.

He pinged the elastic on her knickers and tapped her thigh, “Stand up so I can take these off. Or you take them off for me, I’ll watch you remove your wet knickers.”

She stood up, her legs slightly apart and her hands on her hips. "I need your help, I struggled enough getting them on." She batted her eyelashes at him helplessly.

“Tell me what to do.” He smiled, moving closer to her.

"Well all these ribbons and bows are so confusing." She replied, her voice dripping with fake girlishness.

He laughed gently and untied the ribbons either side of her knickers. Watching as the knickers fell to the floor. “That’s much better.” He bit his lip.

"You did that in a lot less time than it took me to get them on!"

He pulled her back onto his lap. “I like unwrapping my gifts.”

"You've got quite a skill for it too."

His hands stroked her hips, “Come and sit on my face gorgeous.”