#but i hate odd numbers unless they’re multiples of 5

[thompsborn]

me looking at the still unfinished hb2 first chapter and the deadline that i gave myself (two more days):

[inventors-fair]

First Name, Last Name, Occupation Commentary

You guys really swung for the fences for this one. I was inspired to run this by fun little cards like Cat Warriors, Goblin Assassin, and Dragon Turtle. Cards that do one type by way of another. You guys, for the most part, tried to get as weird as possible, more akin to Urza’s Saga. I purposefully left it open ended to allow non-creatures, but I did not expect about half the cards to be a type other than creature. Some people in the Discord tried to break the rules even more than that. Personally, I wish there were more simple creatures, but I’m happy with what I got.

So without further ado, here’s the commentary! They’re alphabetical by submitter’s tumblr name or preferred credit.

@alextfish​ - Fractal Fish

Holy moly that’s some fish, visually and mechanically. So let me try to parse this: the first time, you attack, get two fish, then next time you turn those two fish (which hopefully also got in for damage) into two counters. So every other turn it doubles the number of counters, assuming you get in with it every time. At a minimum, it’s a little Tana/Living Hive that can’t be used moe than once. It feels weird for this effect to be in blue, though I get why from a flavor perspective. This does feel like a fish, though, and it definitely feels like a fractal. This card feels top down, which is fine, but I’m just not super into it. It feels unnecessarily complex for an effect that you probably only want to trigger once, maybe twice. I still think it’s really cool.

Allie - Urza’s Treasure

It’s a bit of a stretch to have a land named “Urza’s Treasure” but it’s less of a stretch than urza’s saga, so you’re good. The idea of a treasure land in general is cool to me: it’s worse than Tendo Ice Bridge and Aether Hub, but the artifact synergy is notable. Then we get to the last ability: this card is a mox opal. Or maybe a glimmer void? There are a lot of comparisons, but I don’t know which is the most appropriate. A land that effectively doesn’t tap for mana unless you have metalcraft seems awful, but I’ve seen enough affinity to know that that won’t slow it down a bit. So this is essentially a card that’s only good for broken decks, and honestly, I don’t think they need the help. I think the fact that it’s so all or nothing is a bit of a deal breaker. Every part of this card is either massive downside, massive upside, or both. You could argue that makes it balanced, but I’d argue it just makes it broken. I also wish the “Urza’s” part of the typeline played into it more, but I realize the type doesn’t have much of a mechanical throughline.

@arixordragc​ - Warrior Dragon

Ooh, a bold choice. Dragon Warrior and Warrior Dragon send two completely different feels, and this one is definitely the cooler one. Six mana 6/6 flyer is a good rate, but not so good it doesn’t get good abilities. The abilities it gets are a ghostly prison and two circle of flames. I really like how they both have a similar feels: 2 damage and two mana. However, I think the two abilities are att odds. If you need one, you probably don’t need the other. If your opponent has a lot of 1/1 or 2/2 creatures, they won’t be able to pay 2 for each them, and if they do, they’d just die. The damage does have a little bit of meaning, though, because if they attack with a big creature you don’t have to deals as much damage to it. I also just would have expected a warrior dragon to be more offensive than defensive. This feels more like a guard or defender rather than a warrior. So it might be better to have one be offense and one be defensive. Perhaps one ability could affect blockers and one attackers? This is a good card, and a cool set of effects, I just think it needs to work on multiple angles. I also think this could be a rare: it’s not so powerful you wouldn’t want it appearing more often in packs, and it’s not too complex.

@bread-into-toast​ - Zombie Mole

I like the flavor of a zombie mole, since it’s already in the dirt. I do think this sounds better than your original entry, Graveborn Mole, but I think the old one told a more complete story. The card itself is pretty neat, it’s a classic red black aggro card with a big body and a risk payoff. There’s some stuff I don’t like about it. First, sacrificing a land is one of those things that players don’t realize how bad it is for you, so this could lead to a lot of players screwing themselves over, especially if it’s as uncommon. Second, the fact that it can be recast with it’s own trigger, such as when you attack, sac a land, let it die, and then get it back because you had a land die is a bit too synergistic, especially because it gets him back untapped. This means that you have a 5/5 on turn two that if you somehow get to kill by blocking they can just pay two to save and untap it. Again, at uncommon, this is very strong, even if the downside is also very strong. The design as a whole is pretty cool, but I think it’s going to lead to a lot of unhappy players on one or both sides of the field. As a final note, I really liked that you put some art direction in the submission (for those at home, it said “Mood: a giant undead mole attacks, startling the giant (living) moles and miners around it”). It’s a cool way to get a lot of the benefits of art without having to make your own or go hunting.

@charmera​ - Giant Golem Knight

I think the name here is pretty close. It feels a little awkward to say, but I’ve seen worse. The card is a little weak and a little poorly templated, but nothing that can’t be fixed. For the templating issue, I think telling a player they can’t do something then telling them they can in a different place doesn’t work. Cards like Manor Gargoyle that do this just remove Defender. Since this also says can’t block, though, you’d need something different. I might suggest just changing it to “~ can’t attack or block unless you sacrificed an artifact this turn.” It would power it up just a little in the process, but I think that’s called for. A 6 mana 6/7 is not really above the curve, and the activated ability is hard enough to activate that it doesn’t really pump up the power level of the card as a whole. Vigilance also seems weird on a card that needs to pay to both attack and block.  I could see a specific format being able to break this card, but as something you’d see in a core set, it would need a lot of support to see play. I really like the design and concept, it just needs to be rebalanced a bit.

@col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion​ - Arcane Trap

So, this one is interesting to me. The base rate on this card is good. Glimmer of Genius and Glimpse the multiverse are both super playable and both have a little something extra. In this case, the little something extra is the trap text, and the idea of repeating this card with arcane spells is pretty enticing for the decks that would play it. But there’s something missing here: the trap text doesn’t feel trappy. It’s a bonus, sure, but if you look at all of the existing traps in the game, the difference between hard casting and trap casting is usually massive, sometimes the entire cost! This instead reminds me more of “gotcha!” from unhinged, where the punishment for a player doing something is that you get a card back from your graveyard. It also doesn’t feel very trap-like because it doesn’t punish a player doing the trap-thing. Usually if an opponent is drawing cards it’s a good idea to out-draw them, and splicing helps with that, but it’s not like this is the “ha, you fool!” card that most traps are. It’s just a little bonus. Like when your opponent adds to your storm count. Functionally, I think this card is cool and feels unique, but doesn’t quite feel like it’s representing its types well. Also, nice job giving trap card art to a trap card.

@davriel-canes-tea-supplier​ - Hellion Demon

You did this for the pun and you know it. Demon straight out of hell...ion. I’d love to see what this guy would end up looking like (not gonna dock points for that or anything, just on my mind). So first, the templating. You don’t need to tell them to sacrifice a totla of X, since X is undefined at that point. You can just say “you may sacrifice any number of creatures. If you do, ~ gets +X/+X until end of turn and deals X damage to target creature you don’t control, where X is the total power of creatures sacrificed this way.” I also might suggest swapping it to a reflexive trigger, AKA swapping “if you do” with “when you do,” which means your opponent will be able to respond after knowing what you sacrificed. Right now, you could target one of their creatures on attacking, then they wouldn’t know what you’re sacing to do it until after they decide if they want to protect their creature. Then again, maybe that’s for the best, since it would also mean if they bounce their own creature in response, you don’t have to sacrifice anything because it wouldn’t do anything. And actually the trigger would be stifled anyway because it has no targets, which is awkward if you were planning to just use it as a pump. What I’m trying to say is that this card has an incredibly complex trigger with a lot of pieces going on. I think it might be worth it, though, because this is a cool effect. A mix between a fling and a nantuko shade effect. It’s a really cool concept, but it’s doing so much that it doesn’t do a great job at mimicking either, and in the end I just wish it had two different abilities that were linked or something easier to parse.

@Deg99 - Instant Trap

Okay, this is a silly card, and I’ll judge it as such. The blue = water is flavorfully pretty fun and funny, but color hate is always going to perform a little weird. But traps are famous for that! Usually, though, traps care about colors if they are built to be good against that color, and in this case, maybe? I don’t know if casting a free trap is particularly good against blue, so I’m firmly putting the trap text in trinket text land. The card itself does exactly what you’d expect. It tutors and plays a trap. Instantly. None of the traps in the game are super powerful, so you’re kind of avoiding the usual tutor issue of always searching for the same card / having exactly one tutor target that’s good. This is especially cool because the traps are by design extremely situational, so having this as a toolbox option is actually kind of useful. I think you’d usually end up getting needlebite trap, lavaball trap, or maybe mindbreak trap because it would be good in the matchup anyway. As a whole, this card is both kind of silly and kind of cool. I like it, but I wish there was some way to make this more interesting.

@demimonde-semigoddess​ - Droning Licid

Wait a second, did you just make licids make sense? Putting bestow on a licid makes it feel just like a licid. Turning drone into droning is pretty clever, though you got the types backwards on the typeline. Granting abilities not on the normal creature is something we saw just the barest amount of bestow cards back in OG Theros block. The eldraziness of it I wish was more relevant. I love the idea of using colorless as the alternate cost, since colorless is sort of treated like a bonus, not a given, especially in limited. But the two abilities need keywords. I played that block a lot, and even I kind of forgot what they did. It’s also weird that it grants devoid, but doesn’t have it itself. You could have even given it a colorless mana cost, since nothing it does is particularly black. Every ability on the card was in every color (yes, even devoid, you know what I mean). If this was a purely colorless card it’d be cool, but it’s fine in black. This card has a lot of things meant to make other things easier (enchantments for constellation, devoid for colorless matters, ingest for processing, bestow for heroic), so I’m super curious what set this would go in! But in a normal set, this is just a really weird card. I still think it’s neat, and again I’ll reiterate I’m happy you made a sensible licid, I’m just a little confused by its existence.

@dimestoretajic​ - Hag Fish

A hag fish is a real thing, and a hag that is a fish is what we have here. This card seems pretty powerful. It’s somewhere between a thallid and a tendershoot dryad and an ant queen. I wish the slime counters had some other use, like granting hexproof or unblockable or something. It would up the power level, which I don’t think this card needs, but it would make it feel more like it was slime on her rather than slime coming off of here. On a grander design level, I think this card requires a lot of paying attention for very little benefit. You get slime counters quickly enough you’ll rarely run out of them, but you will just often enough that you do. The tokens have evolve, which is a hard trigger to remember some times, especially on tokens that you might not have printed versions of. Plus, putting dice on tokens is also hard, since some players use dice for tokens. So while the card’s flavor and concept is pretty cool, I think it’s too complex for how simple it wants to be.

@fractured-infinity​ - Treasure Goblin

I’ve been told this is a reference, but sadly I don’t get it. Instead, I get golden goblins. The fail state on this card is still pretty good. A 2/1 haste for two mana ain’t nothing! And just using it as a bad skirk prospector can be useful too. I like the utility of it, too, in that once you are unable to attack with it as a 2/1, you can sacrifice it for mana to power out a flying dragon or something. This card isn’t super exciting, but it certainly gets the job done.

@gollumni​ - Gold Drake

Gold: the long lost parent of treasure. I didn’t even know that it had been errata'd to be its own artifact type. Anyway, the card itself is a reference to gilded drake. It even got hit by the card Gild! However, gilded drake is a super broken card! This is worse in the sense that it costs one extra mana and you ramp your opponent, but the artifact typing makes it easier to tutor and cheat into play, or to kill. Also, the way the last ability is phrased, I think you can sacrifice it to the gold ability and still get your opponent’s creature. If it said “exchange,” it wouldn’t, because exchanging needs both things in play. So this is a three mana permanent control magic that gives you one mana back immediately. I don’t think that was the intent.

@grornt​ - Skeleton Samurai

Now that is a skeleton samurai! It reanimates itself like a skeleton, it bushidos like a samurai. Three mana feels pretty good for it, since it fights as a 4/3. Now, normally, skeletons enter the battlefield tapped, but I understand not wanting to do that here. After all, it’s got bushido, blocking is a huge part of that! But the reason cards like this enter tapped is to stop you from blocking with it every turn and stonewalling your opponent. But how often is that? Well, this is where it gets tricky. Depending on the standard format, losing life on your own turn is either something you have to build around or effortless. In formats with shocklands, painlands, fetchlands, or even a single mana confluence, you’ll be casting this essentially for free. So assuming it’s in something like current standard, where it’s a little tough, maybe this guy is okay. I just worry about a 4/3 blocker that can’t be easily killed. But I guess that’s why you put it at rare, which was a good choice, but I think almost every player would be disappointed to find this creature as their rare. I do love the name and effects of this card as a pair, but I think it could lead to frustrating games.

@helloijustreadyourpost​ - Phyrexian Druid

This card has a lot of style and flair, but I’m a little cautious of it. A good comparison point for this card is Oasis Ritualist. Both can tap for one mana or two mana but at a higher cost. The mana cost and body are an important difference, and I think might balance each other out, as well as the fact that the phyrexian can only tap for green or green black. I do like that it implies that the set leans black, which feels right for return to new phyrexia. I’m having a little bit of difficulty judging power level: the life payment doesn’t really power down the card that much, but we’ve seen double ramp at 3 mana before, albeit never this versatile or at common. Still, maybe it’s fine in 2021 magic? After all, this is new phyrexia we’re talking about. Speaking of, I like how the life payment mimics phyrexian mana, and specifically phyrexian black mana. That’s a cool bonus for experienced players. I think this is a very well designed card, but I’d be very scared to print it unless I was certain there weren’t any green 6 drops at common that would be oppressive to the format when played on turn 3.

@hypexion​ - Skeleton Knight

Undead in white are something I wish we’d see more of. The idea of duty extending beyond life feels super white, but is only ever represented in spirits. But here we have a skeleton! I like the base body, and it does feel pretty skeletonny, though the knight aspect is a little weak. Vigilance is cool but at 1 toughness I don’t know how often it will be able to attack and still block. The reanimation clause is also a little funky, since it returns it to play on attacks, but doesn’t put it into play attacking as I’d expect. It’s also odd that it comes back tapped, though for gameplay reasons I understand. You don’t want to give players a creature that can block for free every turn. Templating-wise, I should also bring up that there needs to be and “if ~ is in your graveyard” between the words “knights” and “you may.” I’m using cards like Auntie’s Snitch and Master of Death for reference there. My final thoughts on the card is that it’s fine, but the two types don’t mesh as well together as I had hoped.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ - Spirit Shade

What a strange little creature. Shades are weird, because their signature ability is incredibly powerful and they need a pretty big downside to make them balanced. In your case, tying them to swamps is pretty clever! They already like swamps because of their heavy black costs, so this is a cool way to reinforce that. I still think this is pretty aggressive for a common, but I might be being a little too cautious. My bigger complaint is how awkwardly the sludge counters feel. This is a creature who’s already going to be tough to track since it’s constantly changing P/T, so having counters on it that change a bunch is a lot of complexity, especially at common. If there were also +1/+1 counters in this set, this card would be impossible to track in paper. I also think I would have preferred the name the other way around, but I’ll admit that’s a preference. I like this card in general, but I wish it were more player-friendly.

@loreholdlesbian​ - Sand Elemental

Sand is a creature type not a lot of people expected, but I have a friend with a Hazezon Tamar deck so I knew. It’s a really clever answer to the prompt, especially since you’re using the word “sand” as an adjective, but it is still also made out of sand! A colorless 3 mana 3/2 is good power level for a common I think, and the ability on it is tough enough to make work that it doesn’t push the card too hard. The fact that it’s asking you to pay 7 mana also means that, so long as you have at least a few deserts in your deck, you’re probably going to have one in play or in your graveyard. The graveyard clause fits the theme of other desert cards, but I don’t know if you’d need in a theoretical future set with deserts. Their inclusion in Amonkhet block was mostly so players wouldn’t feel bad for cycling their deserts in the early game. But hey, maybe that’s just what deserts are now! So as a whole I think this card is pretty well designed, if a bit bland, but it works well with the theme of the week and possibly the set it's in. Good work!

@morbidlyqueerious​ - Nightmare Spider

This card has a lot going on. The name feels okay. It’s a little odd, but it works in context. The ability feels creepy and scary, which is both a nightmare thing and a spider thing, but a spider without reach will always feel strange. As the for the ability, it needs a little work. There’s some strangeness with the revealing. It only really matters during a multiplayer game, otherwise just revealing every draw would be simpler and save some text, which I think this card needs. Second is the split payment: you lose 1 life, but you also pay two mana. One is optional, one isn’t, and one is 1 and one is 2. I could see this getting confusing to players. I could see swapping some things around to either make them all optional, all life, and/or all 2’s. Lastly, and this is the important one, this card isn’t fun. WotC is pretty solid on not wanting fateseal effects in the game. It makes what is already a frustrating part of the game (the variance of topdecking) into a more frustrating part. Because of the mana payment, is also means that both players will probably end up doing nothing on their turn. The fact that it can’t hit lands is actually kind of odd. Often that’s what you’ll be doing with this card anyway: forcing them to draw lands. I also sort of wish you would have swapped the P/T. I know spiders usually have higher toughnesses, but I’d like this card if it were easily killable but would end the game quickly if it really did take control of the game. Plus, the fact that you keep losing life regardless of if you pay the two means this kind of has a downside that would be more fitting on an aggro card. So while I think it fits the theme of the contest pretty well, and flavorfully it feels very nightmarish and spidery, I worry that it’s too complex and could lead to frustrating games.

@nicolbolas96​ - Urza’s Fortification

This is… a weird one. So, you have made a land that can attach to other lands. I would be much more okay with that if it couldn’t still tap for mana. As is, it performs more like soulbond, since both things can still do the same stuff, they just get a little better. I’d also like it to turn off the original because the ability it’s granting is bonkers. Paying three mana to turn a land into a tolarian academy is an incredibly low cost. The land itself being an artifact also means you don’t even get the normal downside of tolarian academy not tapping for anything if you don’t have another artifact. You can even attach it to a land, tap that land for mana, then use some of that mana to tap another land. This means once you have four other artifacts, each of your lands tap for two mana or more. Being legendary and coming into play tapped isn’t enough of a downside for that. This would be strong even in a modern horizons set. I will say this: I do love the flavor. This really feels like an Urza’s land, which is not easy to do. The idea of a land that moves to other lands and is also a machine somehow feels cool and flavorful, too.

@nine-effing-hells​ - Constructed Cleric

Remember when they printed an artifact cleric in Guild of Ravnica and no one knows why? Well, here’s a robot cleric that feels more clericy. The name is a great fit, and I love the flavor of it. The twobrid mana symbols are a cool way to make it feel more artifacty, but I think they weren’t particularly necessary. No one is going to play this in a colorless deck, and splashing for it doesn’t seem worth the effort. The difference between 4 and 8 mana for the activated ability is huge. So yes, I think this card would see play almost exclusively in mono-white decks. And how is it there? Pretty good! Granting lifelink to your whole board every turn is very powerful, it makes it nearly impossible to race, but you do need at least a bit of a board. I think this is a solic card in a lot of decks, pretty well balanced, so far as I can tell, and the only real issue I have with it is how weird the twobrid is in it.

@pocketvikings​ - Hamster Advisor

What a pleasant little fellow. Not something I’d normally expect to see in MtG, but I’ll let it slide. I wish there were some flavor text explaining what he’s advising me on. Is he just telling me not to eat my food? So this card is very similar to the card Tajurur Preserver, what with being two green and preventing sac effects (primarily a counter to annihilator), but this guy has the upside of making a food but the downside of turning off your own food. I might suggest using that card’s templating or Angel of Jubilation’s templating. Maybe “You can’t sacrifice permanents or discard cards to activate abilities,” then on another ability the text from Tajurur preserver but with discard added on. It seems strange to see this card at uncommon, since it feels mostly like it’s protecting you from very specific effects that may or may not be in the format. It’s actually a pretty big downside in some decks, like turning off fetchlands, and of course if you’re playing this in a food deck you won’t want in play for long. That’s cool, and we’ve seen that on some black cards like Priest of the Blood Rite. I think this card feels out of place in a lot of formats and a lot of decks in particular, but I’m interested in the implications of it.

@partly-cloudy-partly-fuckoff - Aetherborn Angel

This is one I didn’t see coming, but not in abad way. This feels like a natural name, and immediately conjures an image in my mind. The fact that both angels and aetherborn are sort of non-natural creatures makes he combination feel fitting, but them being opposites of the color pie and origin intrigues me. The card? It feels alright. Artifact matters seems pretty aetherborn-y, though that’s mostly just because they're in Kaladesh. Counters feel pretty angelly, but that’s usually just because white has +1/+1 counter themes all the time and big white creatures are often angels. What I’m trying to say is that while this does feel like it’s an aetherborn angel, it doesn’t feel like it’s THE aetherborn angel. But I still think the card has a place in whatever set it’s for. It seems powerful, and I like that it’s usually the best place to put your counters, but has some utility, plus I’m sure there are ways to go infinite, but when you’re paying seven mana for it that seems fair. I love powerful commons because there’s nothing saying a common can’t be powerful, just not complex, and while this does add a little strategic complexity, it’s not gonna burn any brains. This is a well made card.

@reaperfromtheabyss​ - Goblin Knight

It sure is. This feels pretty right on the money, not just because the name feels real and the creature types fit well, but because the text on the card feels like how a goblin would be a knight. They aren’t particularly any better at fighting or better equipped, but it at least can scare some people or keep them at a distance. I very rarely ever say this but I think there was room for flavor text here. I’d like to know how this goblin got in this position, and what they’re doing to stop creatures from blocking. The cost also seems great, perfectly in between fervent cathar and voldaren duelist.

@shootingstarhunter​ - Island Turtle [the 0/4]

One of two island turtles this week. So it’s a 0 mana 0/4 (or U if you count coming into play tapped as paying a cost). I think with literally no other text, that would be a pretty cool card, if a touch strong. There’s also the issues with land creatures, which there are some weird rules for that mostly just annoys judges more than players. However, you decided to put on some… interesting text. It can turn another land into a creature, one with a little bit more power and toughness. That seems… okay? I think if it had just said something like “Adapt 1: sacrifice a land” it would be almost identical mechanically but far, far easier to understand. I think you made this card to fit a very specific idea you had in your head, but I think you needed to step back and look at the final card and see if there was some way to make it simpler, or if not, what that extra complexity would get you.

@snugz​ - Island Turtle [the 0/2]

Interesting. I like the simplicity of it on the surface. It’s just a Dryad Arbor but with a little more toughness, and it’s blue. A 0 mana 0/2 is on curve, I think, though I don’t know what kind of deck would want it. It doesn’t block anything but the smallest of creatures, which decks you’d need to block against probably aren’t playing. But it can chump, and doesn’t die to 1 damage from stuff like Chandra Pyromaster or Goblin Chainwhirler, so that’s something. The reminder text is appreciated, though the “isn’t a spell” feels less necessary considering the first line, but reminder text can be there anyway! The first line I feel like is trying to fix something, but most of the issues with land creatures are about integrating them into the comprehensive rules, which Dryad Arbor is already forcing WotC to do. But I guess it has it’s uses here and there. Rules aside, I think this card is fine. Like I said, I’m not sure what decks would want this, but it’s unique enough I think someone could find a use for it.

@starch255​ - Enchantment Class Saga

Oh boy, what did I do to deserve this? First, the elephant in the room, no one at wizard’s would ever call this Enchantment Class Saga. Is it supposed to be the story of a class about enchantments? Mechanically I guess it’s at least tied to everything. I don’t think I have to tell you this is too complicated. This has more words on it than a pack of homelands. I also don’t know if it’s phrased right, because we don’t even have the comprehensive rules for classes out yet. Setting X to a certain number at the top of the card also may or may not work? We’ve yet to see a saga with a static effect like that. I also think just playing it and waiting till turn four to level it up gives you a crazy amount of advantage, digging 4 cards deep every turn if you have another saga, plus getting through those sagas even quicker. I’m having an extremely difficult time judging this one, but I can at least say it’s too complicated, and that’s enough to keep it out of the running.

@thedirtside - Treasured Clue

This is a really cute card, but I don’t think it quite hits the mark (pun intended?). One mana for a treasure is kind of weird. We saw a lot of people thinking like that for a while with golden goose, which generated a mana on turn one and rarely did anything else, but let you ramp out a three-drop on turn two, and doing this on a colorless card just feels kind of dangerous, especially because being common means you could crack two on turn three for a 5 drop two turns early. But I also like the combination of the two types, since if you don’t need the treasure then you probably need the card. Reminds me of the Horizon lands. The name is also really close, better than some this week, but feels kind of forced. I wish there were a little more you could do with this guy to make him worth tacking on an extra mana. As is, it’s just a little too swingy to be fun.

@wolkemesser​ - Orgg Hag

I actually had to double check to see that these were both existing creature types, but lo and behold, they were. And they’re both pretty thematic! Orggs are just like big 4 armed goblins, and hags are I guess like witches? But now witches are warlocks. Anyway, the card. I think it’s alright. Trample feels very Orgg, lifelink feels haggy, but that last ability just seems odd. Orgg itself had an ability that cared about size, and the sort of curse flavor of it feels haggy, but it just feels so out of nowhere. I feels like if you removed the white mana in the cost and the ability it would feel just as appropriate a card. Humility in general also has a lot of rules issues that don’t really make them worth it unless they are on big, swingy cards, which this isn’t quite. Still as a whole I think the card is perfectly fine, but a bit off for this week’s contest.

~

And that’s everybody! If you want to get a hold of me, you can contact me on the Discord. Thanks again for entering! Good luck next week!

-Mod Mr. ShinyObject

[nettlestonenell]

Armie Hammer wants a sequel to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—shouldn’t you?

This post is a long time in coming, Gentle Readers and @jammeke​, but now, though it might be here, before your very eyes, to think it will be well-laid out would be a mistake. It’s set to be just about as messy as Ilya’s misplaced loyalties and murky motivations.

How dare!

I probably first watched this film well over a year ago (courtesy @jammeke​ posting things about it). I used Sling OnDemand (I think on TNT). In the ensuing viewings I also watched it in that way, but as I was sitting down for a fourth(?) viewing, it kept coming to me that I was tired of watching it with commercials I couldn’t skip, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had been edited for time and I was missing out on scenes. [pointless aside: I was also watching the film in chunks, and never as a whole]

Where is she now? What’s the time stamp? How far along did she get? Are you shagging the hotel hostess yet?

So, I, uh, set out to buy it on DVD—without any luck! In the sense that copies I could find cost more (w/ shipping) than buying it to stream. So, I bought it to stream on Amazon. Do I regret my choice, Gentle Readers? No, no I don’t. I do regret burden of knowledge in learning that TNT was already playing the entirety of the film. That was a hard pill to swallow.

Nope, I’ve looked. That’s absolutely everything. Nothing additional lurking around here...

So here it is, as it is, @jammeke, “My Notes on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”

Look, I don’t know what this film is. I probably can’t fully articulate its appeal. Or maybe I can--certainly after transcribing four page I’ve tried. Number One thing to know about me and fiction/films is that a top draw for me is seeing something out of the ordinary, such as beautiful locations, a historical era, delicious costumes. There are times, frankly, this can trump weak story and undefined character for me. (The best films, of course, combine all three) Certainly, The Man... delivers in the delight of the eyes. Additionally, I must confess that growing up as a person older than @reblogginhood​ but younger than Miss Fisher, so much of what was on TV was essentially reruns of this film’s iconic Look(tm). So, when I see women dressed like Gaby I am just another three-to-seven-year-old overcome with the drop dead glamour of it all.

Darling, tell me how you really feel...

Some questions I have:

·         IS Armie Hammer a hulk of a man? Everyone in this film seems to think so, yet he always tracks to me as trim (rather than hulking)

·         Why translate via captions some Russian speaking, but not all?

·         IS Napoleon’s backstory directly cribbed from USA’s White Collar?

·         DOES Gaby have a German accent?

·         Does Ilya get preternaturally attached to all the people he’s ordered to look after? Also, what is his bonding rate with kittens?

Sorry, wrong iteration. 

 ·         If Lady Villain knows the lens is wrong—if her technical understanding is that in-depth--does she really need Gaby’s dad to make the bomb?

·         How old was Gaby during the war?

·         What happens when Ilya gets a NEW puppy assigned to him? (please let this be addressed in film #2)

Hooray for:

·         That bathroom fight! *all the Burn Notice feels!

·         Gaby is her own lady, and chooses sides as necessary—not always unilateral in her support for either male character. Case in point: she sides with Ilya over the clothes, and Napoleon over the incident of the wallet.

·         That delicious (speaking as Rusty, here) Ocean’s 11-stylized action. It’s pretty, so I’m not bored with it. Sometimes a sandwiched montage gets shown, so I’m REALLY not bored. I’ve got 18 tiny moving boxes of things to look at!

·         Pinkie rings. There, you’ve told me everything I need to know about that character.

·         Solo in a beret. English has not yet found a word for the feeling it evoked in this viewer. Somewhere between ‘precious’ and ‘oh, no’.

See, there? Now you’ve felt it too.

·         Goggles! All the accessories! Dune Buggies! (I mean, that’s what I’m calling Napoleon’s chase-scene ride)

Things I adore:

·         It seems (after some research) that more than a few folks view Gaby as a third wheel, and though she’s not exactly a Princess Leia commandeering her own rescue and exuding competence and a deserved take-charge-attitude at every corner, she IS a foci for both male characters (though romantically it would seem only for one), just as Ilya is a foci for both her and Napoleon [no one seems to worry about Napoleon, though they should--film #2, anyone?]

·         Mechanic Gaby not needing a beauty makeover, or being dragged into one. She gets some nice clothes, but it’s never suggested that she’s not attractive or acceptable before putting them on, and I respect, nay, embrace it.

Oh, my heart. She’s still not as tall as them!

·         Ilya, drab pigeon Ilya, knowing fashion

·         Oh man, don’t even get me started on the power of the statement, “it doesn’t have to match”

·         You knew it was coming on this sublist: the wrestle-fight. I mean, c’mon. Poor little Gaby, locked behind the Iron Curtain, living a life of always being watched. She’s in the swankest hotel (I mean, Napoleon chose it, so we can be sure it’s swank with an E). She’s trying to celebrate her freedom, her liberation. She’s playing verboten music, she’s drinking to excess. Girl wants—and deserves—a party. And Ilya is…not built for that (that he knows of). For some fun, just imagine if she had been given Napoleon to room with instead.

                            o   I will say that this scene, and some of their other interactions have what I would call early (non-sibling) Luke and Leia energy. Ilya seems to have moments of being struck by Gaby in a way Luke is struck by Leia in the early part of the trilogy. When Leia takes charge, and Luke accepts it. When Leia does something incredible, and Luke is left open-mouthed. *no, I don’t see OT Star Wars in everything. Shut up.

·         “He fixed the glitch.”

·         Again, shout-out to the non-action action.

·         “I left my jacket in there.”

·         The whole race to rescue Gaby I am in love with beyond words. [I have noted it as “Crazy Jeep Drive with Warhead!”] Probably b/c it comes across as totally egalitarian. Both men want her rescued. They’re no longer in competition. It’s just as important to Napoleon as it is to Ilya to catch up to her. Also, it is bonkers, like some sort of X-games version of a commercial for the vehicles they’re driving. And screaming Willie Scott does not make an appearance.

         Someone says “winkle” out.

·         Look! Another note about the screen divisions and how I love it, shout-outs to the original Steve McQueen The Thomas Crown Affair (a contemporary of when this movie is meant to be set), and TV’s 24.

Things that get a great, big NOPE:

·         Jerrod Harris: you’ve been in so much streamable content in the last decade I can’t hate you, but frankly, you’re terrible here—unless you’re supposed to be giving a mannered, not-campy-enough-to-be-enjoyable performance here. Your American English puts me in the mind of Alex Hawaii 5-0′Loughlin where it feels you’re concentrating so hard on your accent that you fail to convince anyone that you’re a harried, over-worked and exasperated spy handler. Your performance is at odds with every bit of dialogue you’re given to say.

·         That awful, mishandled title that doesn’t even connect to the film until the final moments (a sequel set-up, for sure)

·         Look, you don’t introduce Hugh Grant casually mid-way through your film in a throwaway appearance. I mean, he’s HUGH GRANT we all know something’s up now.

·         This is not exactly a great big NOPE, b/c I love a flat cap, Tommy Shelby—but I feel like a less tall man with a far rounder face in a flat cap would track more as Russian to me that AH does. To me, he just looks like he’s about to go golfing.

Over par? Unacceptable!

·         Is Victoria a British-accented Italian? A British woman who married—what? Gaby’s uncle isn’t Italian!? An Italian who went to school in Britain? My head hurts. Also, is her hair meant to be unconvincingly bleached?

Other commentary:

·         Napoleon’s adult ne’er-do-well backstory is so far from being emotionally equivalent to Ilya’s childhood trauma [and his enslavement to the USSR] it seems bestial when he calls it out on multiple occasions. Badly done, Solo.

·         Gaby is the film’s key (sorry, Buffy fans). Everyone is connected to her. Yes, she could have been given a bit more on the character front, but I don’t see her as as much of a flaw in the film as some others/reviewers seem to.

·         Look, essentially (and not very nuanced-ly), Ilya is a stalker. I think the film goes a certain distance in establishing that his early behavior toward Gaby is not normal, but concurrently it does not truly call him out on it. He’s essentially viewed as an odd-duck, sure, but not a true threat to her (should she not reciprocate or tolerate his intensity toward her). I think I might be able to cite his behavior when Gaby comes on to him (that he doesn’t jump at a chance with her) that maybe he’s given a little more nuance than a straight-on stalker, and it helps that he and Napoleon never get into a pissing match over Gaby’s person, only over her new clothes. But overall the film has to walk a fine line (and the jury is still out on how successful it is, I’d say) between playing Ilya’s laser-like attention to Gaby for its humor, and calling it out for the unsettling, threatening behavior it is.

·         Honestly, it wasn’t until I engaged the Closed Captioning that I understood Napoleon was calling Ilya the ‘Red Peril’. So, that was nearly three viewings in.

·         I give the screen credits A+, on both ends. Not to mention the end credits are actually INTERESTING with lots to see and learn! (Certainly we learn more about HG in them than we do at any time during the film)

Things I would have liked:

·         More of fish-out-of-the-Iron-Curtain Gaby moments

·         A better dichotomy shown of East vs. West Berlin/Germany. There’s nothing easy either visually or otherwise to distinguish the two.

·         HC being given a more specific American accent (from an actual locality). This, for an American viewer, works better than the flat, unlocated American accent many a British actor will bust out. *Mind you, HC does a generally good job, but he fails utterly on both “Immediate” which he pronounces at least twice as “immeedeejt” [rather than imm-E-deeot] and “Nazi” as “NAHT-zee” [rather than “NOT-zee”]. And let’s not get started on that late in the film use of ‘earnt’, a word that—well, it’s just not in the American English twentieth century lexicon.

·         C’mon. You gotta tease the Hugh Grant more.

·         Solo is a blank before the war. I’ve read thoughts on the film calling out Gaby as the blank character, but they’re wrong. Solo is the blank. He’s the ‘made’ man, his identity seemingly assembled during the war and after. For example, he doesn’t go into the war a thief, nor (it would seem) a particularly educated or urbane individual. Now THAT’s a juicy backstory I’d love to learn about, perhaps in film #2--or #3? What creates a Napoleon Solo? What would he be doing if he weren’t on the government’s leash/incarcerated? Is anyone left caring about him back wherever he calls home? I mean, who doesn’t love a gender-flipped 60s-era Holly Golightly backstory? [And yes, I would love there to be an ex-wife or even a current wife mixed up in his origins as well—Guy Ritchie, call me!]

Notes I have that I’m not sure if they still make sense to me:

·         Only mom calls me Napoleon (do he say it ‘mum’?) Is he a secret Canadian?

·         Solo’s torture, 1st view recall Napoleon’s childhood? *I think this means that after watching the first time I somehow erroneously believed that during the torture Napoleon’s childhood was a topic gone over. This was wrong. HOWEVER, this would have made far more story-sense than the backstory we’re given on an easily disposeable villain.

·         “Even the average Russian agent. You’re special.” ?

·         Uncle is Baddie (*so glad I made this note to myself)

·         Ilya’s dad IS an embarrassment. I’m not sure what genius commentary I had in my mind, here. Perhaps that Ilya himself is embarrassed of him? Not just Ilya’s handler’s? [Also, aside: Napoleon totally slut-shames Ilya’s mom, which is the doublest of double standards from ‘I got myself the biggest and most ornate suite b/c I-wanted-plenty-of-space-for-my-random-seductions’ and I really wish Ilya had thrown that back in his face] *yes, of course I know that Ilya and Napoleon would not likely equate a wife/mother’s sexual exploits with that of Solo’s, but let’s be honest, this film tweaks the nose of (I won’t say reverses, it doesn’t go that far) plenty of tropes and gender expectations, and this certainly seems like a missed opportunity to call Solo on the carpet (which I hope film #2 does far more)

Things I wrote down so long ago I don’t recall what they mean:

·         CC-save

In conclusion:

What does film #2 look like? What title does it get? Will the Peter/Neil White Collar dynamic continue to grow? *note that I have no confidence a second film will ever come to pass...

In the end, all I know is, “It didn't help when American Tom Cruise, who was slated to play U.S. spy Napoleon Solo, dropped out, prompting the casting of Cavill (who had previously read for the Russian role).“ I would not have watched that film.

[c-h-pictures]

What it’s like for me living where I live

Your car ain’t parked outside your house, and, even if you run as fast as possible, you will be wet by the time you get to it

You turn the car out of a street to drive where ever you’re going and boom, there’s a tractor coming up

But no, it’s not jsut a tractor, it’s a tractor with a thing on behind it

Oh, sorry, no, it’s multiple tractos with things on behind them

There’s two farms at the top of my street, and more farms all around the village.

The sheep know you for some reason.

The Catholic high school in the same catchment area (but in the town nearby) as your school in your village did a better job at celebrating Pride month than your non-religious school

Where’s the diversity? In the city about 45 minutes away by car and an hour away by train, which is infinitely easier than getting there by car.

Is that train ever on time? No, but that applies to the entirety of England.

There’s about 100 different ways to walk from Point A, in the village, to Point B, also in the village.

And they’re somehow all under 20 minutes no matter how slowly you walk

Everyone on my street when telling someone their address: [number] [street name], not [number] [street name] village or [number] [street name] close, [number] [street name]

“You weren’t in, so we left your parcel with your neighbour.” In fact, we were in, and the delivery service instead went to [our number] [street name 2] (the street which leads up to our street before the hill) rather than [our number] [street name] (our street, which is the hill) and they weren’t in, so it is with their neighbour rather than ours.

“You weren’t in, so we left your parcel with your neighbour.” We weren’t in this time, but the parcel was left at [our number] [street name 2] rather than either of our neighbours.

You step outside of your Victorian Era house and look at a house that looks like it was finished building yesterday.

Next to that house is a Victorian Era house.

Evens are on one side and odds on the other, right? So 53 is going to be opposite 54 or 52, right? No, it’s opposite 70, which is also opposite a mini field, which is also the pub, but somehow, 37 is opposite 28.

You can stand outside your house and see a pub in both directions.

“Let’s go hang out at the park!” “Which one?” And there’s no way of identifying which one because they all have the same features.

Half of the people on your street go to the same school as you, and if they don’t, they’re just in the wrong year and are about to go to your school.

You’re just gonna be walking to high school and go past your junior school, infant school, nursery, and toddler play thing because they’re pretty much all attached to each other except for the high school.

You’re old teachers form previous schools will see you and chat about how you’re doing at your new school, and it’ll happen with enough of that that you’ll be late even though you set out early enough that you’d arrive 30 minutes before the school bell goes

There’s so few people that the only other neurodivergent people with similar symptoms to you are 5-20 years older or younger than you.

There’s at least one nd person with a similar disorder/symptoms at the high school that doesn’t hate you for no reason, but they live in a different village, so you’re only seeing them at breaks or lessons you share with them (probably won’t be sat next to them unless the teacher doesn’t care where people sits and lets you sit where you want)

No one without similar symptoms sees your symptoms and can’t help when you need it because they genuinely can’t tell that you need help.

You learn to check over everything multiple times, otherwise your neurotypical friends are going to call out the fact that you missed words, repeated words, replaced a word with the word coming after it, or used the wrong form of the word, or wrote something down so quickly that you messed up the spelling, or changed the way you were writing a list half way through, or changed how you wrote a certain word within the same 5 seconds (ie, half way/half-way), or couldn’t decide on which synonym of the word to use

But you only do that with stuff you’re going to show to them because that takes effort, so whevever your friends suddenly decide they want to read the story your writing in your notebook , you refuse.

Oh, but your nd firend with similar symptoms/disorder? They can read it because they do the exact same fucking thing all the time.

It’s raining in your garden, but your neighbours across the wall are getting sunshine and clear skies

And the next day it’s snowing across the whole village

Does a different month of the year stop that from happening? No.

A good chunk of the people you know have some kind of anil that’s usually on a farm, but they don’t live on a farm, but they still take care of the animal/s very well (myself included, btw - we have chickens)

If you own a dog, you know all of the other dog owners by the type of dog/the dog’s name.

No idea what the human’s name is, though - even with the people that live on the same street as you.

Neurodivergent? Probably not officially diagnosed, so likely no proof, likely self diagnosed. Can most of your teachers tell you’re not neurotypical? Probably.

The other side of the street has different weather to you. Drastically.

If you’re lucky, you might be walking along a pavement and see a farmer about to bottle feed the lambs that need bottle-feeding and the farmer will let you bottle feed some of them despite having never spoken to you before now (pre-covid, obviously)

There’s so much more I could say, but I’m just gonna to stop here because it’s getting long

[redrobin-detective]

Random Quirkless Pro Hero Deku facts

- Pro Hero Izuku has a lot of weaponry on him at all times but he’s personally a big fan of knives. He’s usually got at least 5 or 6 on him at all times in all different sizes. He likes them because they’re multi-use, intimidating and, in the hands of a skilled wielder (like Izuku definitely is) can end fights without permanent damage. His favorite knife is the one he stole off of Stain to Iida’s dismay but its just a really good knife okay, Tenya, nothing personal.

-  Todoroki is rescue hero working at Froppy’s agency in Nara (kind of the middle of nowhere). He doesn’t really get involved in the big villain battles unless he’s caught up in them, does no marketing for himself, rarely takes interviews, does his best to just be another hero... and yet he’s #20 in the charts. He is the highest ranked rescue hero who goes out of his way to avoid the spotlight and he doesn’t know why he’s so highly ranked. This is because he doesn’t understand the overwhelming power of THIRSTY fans.

- Izuku and Katsuki have a very special relationship. They read each other so well, are a well-oiled, scarily efficient team in battle. Outside of that, they’re disasters. Due to past experiences with ‘friendly spars’ that have gotten out of control they need a minimum of 2 babysitters pro heroes to spot them and be in a qualified facility before they go at it (which they don’t always do). Most every time they meet up they’ve got to rough house a bit to everyone’s horror. Bakugou will get loud and indignant if you call them friends but then rant for 30 minutes on why Deku is one of the best damn heroes he’s ever known. 

- Speaking of which, on an operations level Izuku and Katsuki are much better separated than partnered. Kiri much more approachable and adds a sense of balance to Bakugou which is why he’s #1 not long after Izuku leaves. Izuku/Katsuki together were terrifying but a little bit too chaotic? They egged each other on where Kiri calms Bakugou down and Izuku forced to be “in charge” (as composed to constantly competing with Bakugou) of others also makes him less reckless. They’re still a brutally efficient combo but they’ve both agreed that separation really helped them grow.

- Gran Torino went senile not long after Izuku graduated Yuuei having fulfilled his promise to both Nana and Toshi and couldn’t fight any more. Izuku took care of him the best he can and put the old hero up in a luxurious old age home, he visited once a week watching more and more of his mentor slip away. He died when Izuku was still working at Two Hero with Bakugou and it was one of his incentives for leaving the agency and forming One For All. 

- Shinsou ended up in the Hero course during their second year, but he went to 1B. Still maintained a good relationship with Izuku and the 1C gang. After graduation, he was surprised when Yaoyorozu offered him a position at her agency. He works there mainly in intelligence gathering, interrogation and general agency management. He still does field work but not nearly to the extent of other heroes.

- Shinsou and Izuku are the lowest ranked in their grade, Shinsou being in the 90s while Izuku is in the high 70s. Izuku will never let his friend forget that he, quirkless and hated by the system, is higher ranked than Shinsou. Its really because Shinsou is kind of a reclusive hero only known because he works at such a prestigious agency. If and when Shinsou decides to make an effort at his popularity it’s all over for Izuku. Until then, Izuku will lord it over him. 

- As for the 1C gang, Patrick moved back to America right after graduation. He’s doing odds and ends, still trying to figure out what he wants to do. Does frequent calls/visits to Japan to visit his high school friends. Korudo did end up working his father’s company but on his own terms, donates a lot to Izuku’s AFO foundation. Izuku probably sees Taketsu the most, she’s a quirk lawyer and works with Izuku professionally in terms of quirk advocacy and advancement. 

- Hero Names: Bakugou - Kacchan, Todoroki - stays as Shouto, Aoyoma - Lumiere, Shinsou - Hypnos

- As soon as he graduated, Izuku moved into All Might’s old apartment because he couldn’t stand to sell it. He left it almost identical only converting the back study and pretty much living out of boxes the first few years. He’s very, very slowly taking down All Might’s things and putting up his own but each change involves a lot of struggle and crying, but it feels like healing. In addition, Toshi was able to change his will before dying so Izuku inherited an insane amount of money from All Might’s estate. He couldn’t spend it all in his lifetime if he tried. He mostly keeps it away but donates a lot of it to AFO and other charities. 

- Deku is a fan favorite as far submissive ships go. In every fan pairing he’s put in (and there are some wild one out there) he is the delicate, submissive quirkless partner. When asked on it, 1A just comments “have you ever actually seen Deku??” still the trope persists. Popular fan pairings are Bakudeku, Shoudeku, Iideku and Uradeku.

- The Class has varying ways of referring to one another, most of them feel comfortable calling each other by their first names but almost all continue to call Iida by his surname (except Ochako and Izuku when he’s feeling annoyed/sappy). Izuku and Katsuki have a whole language of names within the names they call each other, all you should know is that if you hear Izuku say “Bakugou” or Katsuki “Izu-chan” you better run like hell.

- Midoriya Hisashi was officially killed halfway through Izuku’s Third Year in a villian attack at his office in America. Inko was distraught but Izuku really couldn’t bring himself to mourn a man he never knew (and was already exhausted still grieving for All Might). Inko and Izuku got a sizable payout from it, ensuring Inko will be able to live comfortably for the rest of her life. Izuku never touched the money, relying first on All Might’s money then his own when he had to. ((Most people know I’m pretty ham for DFO so let me say this, on paper “Midoriya Hisashi” was killed it’s up to you if someone else is still around) 

- While OFA doesn’t have any permanent staff, it does have heroes who frequently work there. It started this way because Izuku couldn’t get any heroes to permanently attach and kept it up once he realized the versatility it gave him. Shouto and Uravity usually do at least one or two stints a year. Pretty much all of the unattached heroes of 1A have worked with Deku multiple times (even a few attached, Ingenium surprising everyone by leaving his agency for a month to work with his old friend). Lemillion does it when his schedule allows and a few veteran heroes like Present Mic and Cementoss have done work there as well. And while Number One Kacchan hasn’t officially worked at One For All, he and Red Riot partner do enough inter-agency work that they kind of have. 

- Over the years OFA acquired the respect of many heroes but there’s still assholes who refuse to take orders from a quirkless man. Now officially Deku has no problems with those who do not wish to work with him, it’s well within their rights. However, he’ll usually slyly make it known that people have turned down offers from him or spoke against him. And suddenly those bigoted heroes find they’re getting less support from those connected to Deku (a number that grows bigger by the year). There are less team-ups, less chance of being voted for hero titles, more whispers about how a hero being quirkist in this age is so old-fashioned and not cool. The heroes are like ??? how the hell did this happen while Deku sits there and smiles, not having lifted a finger. He’s a kind man but a vindictive one for sure.

- Izuku named his foundation after All For One, the villain who terrorized Japan and ultimately killed All Might, purely out of spite. While Izuku never confronted him in this universe, he knows the villain is still out there. The AFO Foundation took a name that was once feared and turned it into something that could bring people hope. He wanted to tell all the wannabe criminals who would recognize the name that Izuku knows and he’s not afraid. Also he still considers it his duty as AM’s successor to stop him so the Foundation is two middle fingers up to AFO as a challenge. 

- Rikimaru-shishou (Izuku and later Shinsou’s martial arts teacher in TLWA) has mostly retired from teaching, only taking a few students here and there. Izuku still keeps in contact when possible, meeting up for a friendly spar when he can squeeze it in. Most of the students Daiki takes these days are kids Izuku recommends with puppy dog eyes. 

-Mirio and Izuku end up developing a pretty good relationship. It starts when Izuku tries to intern with Nighteye in his first year and it’s pretty ugly. Nighteye refuses to take him but some, not all, of the Izuku/OFA/Mirio situation comes out. Mirio is very disturbed that his mentor was grooming him to be All Might 2 and kind of separates from Sir and takes Izuku’s side. Really excited by Deku’s vision for a better hero society and they have a big/lil brother relationship. Is super okay when Izuku takes the SoP title from him, like Izuku not bothered with rankings but he knows how important it is to his bro.

- So good news first, Mirio and Tamaki are long term partners and adopt a little girl, Koharu, who has a ‘villainous’ quirk and was abandoned by her family. Mirio being on paternity leave is one of the factors that allows Izuku to take the SoP away from him. So uh bad news, Eri was never recovered during TLWA version of the Overhaul arc. Don’t ask me exact details cause I don’t know lol but Izuku wasn’t really involved and Overhaul and few of his men managed to flee Japan with Eri and haven’t been found since. Mirio and Tamaki both took the loss to heart which is why they wanted to try and pay back that mistake. They’re both great dads though.

- Due to being so outrageously busy during their first year as Pros, Bakugou forgot to maintain a regular haircut schedule so it started to grow out. Izuku and some others commented that the longer hair looked good on him. It got to the point where it was getting in the way so he ties it back in a little tail that looks like a little explosion. That, and his permanent facial scruff, make him a very attractive hero but his personality still leaves a lot to be desired.

[guardianlioness]

Hey can I get a uhhhhhhh.... Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd for the headcanon meme?

[Ask Meme!]

DIMITRI ALEXANDRE BLAIDDYD

D I M _ T R _   A L E X _ N _ _ _  B _ _ _ _ _ Y_

D: How do they react to being flirted with?



…Oh boy.

Dimitri isn’t one to notice flirting easily. His expectations and perceptions of himself place a pretty significant filter on his ability to perceive it. So most of the time, he doesn’t react because he doesn’t recognize it.

If he’s faced with overt flirting, he panics. Someone else shouldn’t have to suffer admiring him when he can’t give the affection back because of other responsibilities (pre-skip) or when he does not deserve to have happiness that way (post-skip). Before the Battle of Garreg Mach, he would do his best to awkwardly but kindly dissuade the would-be suitor, would chase them off with his beastly attitude during the Post-skip era, and again fall back to tactically extracting himself from the situation after Gronder Field.

Despite this, though, if the person flirting with him is someone he admires? Someone he’s been drawn to in a similar way? He soaks up as much of their attention as he can while driving them away, then intentionally stews in his own pining and misery for months and calls it a noble act.

(Someone? Get this boy some HELP?)



I: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do they love themselves?

Pre-skip, maybe around a 3-4. He’s proud of his steps towards vengeance and his hard work, if nothing else.

Post-skip, 0 or less. He doesn’t see himself as human, and he’s honestly courting death every day he breathes.

Post-war, this improves gradually until the number hovers around a 5. He’s never going to love himself, but there are other people who do, and he will never stop trying to make it up to them and pay the price for his actions. That’s as much as can be asked of him — as a human, not a beast — so there’s no longer a reason to loathe himself even if there are plenty of reasons for regret.

M: What is their favourite dessert?

Canonically, his childhood favorites are saghert and cream or Faerghus’ style of sweet bun, but he also loves anything with contrasting textures. He can’t taste, so any pleasure he can derive from food has to be from the way it feels.

Things with creamy insides and crunchy crusts, sweets that melt on his tongue, and food with odd temperatures are favored post-Gronder especially.

(In the world where he slowly recovers and begins to sense flavors once more, he’s easily overwhelmed by tastes. He can’t handle anything intense but can’t get enough of foods that provide two flavors at once. Mildly sweetened salt-caramel pastries, fruits and cheese together, things that allow him to enjoy multiple sensations at the same time.)

T: Where are they ticklish?

The back of his neck — not that anyone would get close enough to find out. He’s the person to reflexively injure if something sensitive gets prodded without warning. He’s not ticklish anywhere else though.

R: What are their hands like?


Dimitri’s hands are the least damaged part of his body.

They are calloused and scarred, but each scar has been allowed to heal, kept clean if not stitched closed. He must have functional hands in order to wield his lance, so even while rabid, he takes better care of them than the rest of his mortal shell.

They’re always ice cold, no matter what wraps or armor he dons.

Until his first year as king of Faergus is drawing to a close, he shakes unless there is a weapon closed between his fingers. A side effect of encroaching nerve damage, but it, like everything, heals a little.

They stay much the same, after that. Still scarred and still whole. Freezing, but free of tremors.

A: What are/were this character’s best subjects in school?

In a canon, Garreg Mach type setting, he excels in lance-work and leadership materials — public speaking, strategy, etc. pre-skip. Post-Gronder, he’s honed his swordplay, but he’s become shaky and doubtful in regard to his own strategy. It takes Byleth a solid two months to coach him into confidence in his own decisions.

In a modern AU, debate — he’s exceptionally persuasive when he wishes, though he hates having to present himself in such an aggressive and manipulative manner — and mathematics of a visual or practical nature like geometry and physics. (Neither of those, however, are his true academic love, classics. Blast his inability to write as well as he can speak.)

L: What is their favourite board game?

In a canon-flavor setting, Dimitri prefers chess. It’s a calm, thinking game that helps him focus. That, and he never can manage to beat Sylvain at cards.

In a modern AU, he would enjoy standard strategy games — Risk, Settlers of Catan, even Monopoly on occasion — and of course, chess as well.

E: How are they with children?


Is Dimitri good with kids? Yes. Does he realize he is good with kids? No.

He is rational and intelligent during the times he’s asked to babysit, but he’s also internally panicking, terrified of breaking the child, terrified of the fact that he’s a terrible role model, terrified that someone left a baby with a literal monster—

The kid is happy and having a good time, though, and even if he’s High Key Freaking Out, Dimitri probably ends up wrapped around the child’s finger. He’s a bit of a pushover.

X: What’s their most petty little secret?

He’s got two.

He would never admit it, but he lost a lot of respect for Felix over his treatment of Rodrigue. Disagreeing with your father is one thing. Being angry at your father is another thing. But the level of sheer disrespect displayed? Entirely different matter.

It doesn’t make Felix any less valuable to him, and Dimitri realizes he’s in part to blame for that divide, but it does put a slant on the way he sees the young Fraldarius heir.

The second is that he’s more than a little self conscious about his appearance post-Gronder. He’s not a vain man, but the mass of new scars — worthless scars, scars NOT gained for a friend — and the disheveled appearance and missing eye? It…can make him feel a little repulsive at times.

N: What do they usually eat for breakfast?

Whatever Dedue or Ashe or Mercedes or Byleth brings him, honestly. Food, again, doesn’t have much allure for him except to quell the gnawing in his stomach.

B: Do they have any allergies?

No. He used to get hay fever as a child, but he developed a resistance to such things during his wandering years.

Y: What is one question they’ve always wanted an answer to?

“Is it wrong for me to receive compassion? Am I allowed to embrace the love given to me?”

[pyronado-moved]

The Warrior Code Needs To Change: A Look Into The Rules

Ever since I got into this series, I’ve believed the warrior code was bad. The idea of rules like this in the first place is odd, but especially when you really look into them and how they’ve affected the series as a whole. While I think boundaries between clans is good for their own safety, these rules seem like too much. They ruin the majesty that should be in the veins of these forest cats and condenses them into almost an Animal Farm level society.

So, I’ve decided to describe where each rule’s issues lay and if it should be either changed or taken out completely. These are powerful and wild cats, they shouldn’t be confined into a democratic monarchy. Also some of these are just down right dumb.

1. Defend your Clan, even with your life. You may have friendships with cats from other Clans, but your loyalty must remain to your Clan, as one day you may meet them in battle. The first half of this rule makes sense. You are of your clan and you should understand why there are territories and boundaries, but the second half is where it becomes apparent this code was made simply to keep clan bloodlines clean. Friendships between clans have consistently proven good within the series. They’ve helped stop plenty of fights and even helped build stronger alliances. While I do think cats should remain loyal to their clan in case a fight does break out, restricting cross-clan friendships into a situation where cats have to be weary of what they say at gatherings pushes down any chance of all four (or five) clans from truly finding peace alongside each other. Keep the first half, remove the second.

2. Do not hunt or trespass on another Clan's territory. On the warriors wiki, there is the code followed by expectations. Many of the expectations describe situations where this rule doesn’t apply. At this point, it’s simply a case-by-case basis on why you should be on another clan’s land. This rule is disregarded and ignored too many times in the series to be taken seriously. It needs to be taken out and become an unspoken understanding that there are multiple clans and multiple boundaries, and crossing territories should be decided on the situation at hand.

3. Elders, queens, and kits must be fed before apprentices and warriors. Unless they have permission, apprentices may not eat until they have hunted to feed the elders. If any warrior or apprentice is sick or injured, they may eat while the elders, queens, and kits are eating. No. This rule is disgusting in the way it’s worded and treated. I understand placing kits and queens first, food is important to growth for these cats. But the places of elders and apprentices has always bothered me. Elders aren’t fragile. They’re older, but they’re not breakable. Unless an elder is completely unable to decide when they’re hungry or they can’t get up to retrieve food they shouldn’t be placed higher than anyone else. Especially apprentices. These are children who have spent nearly all day finding this food (which is known to be even more difficult in leaf-bare) and then they’re shoved aside. Of everyone in camp they will need the most energy to continue to grow into the warriors the clan needs them to be. If there are slim pickings and all the other cats eat first, the hunger they feel will drain their urge and want to continue to participate in clan life. No energy, no food. Apprentices deserve to eat first as well. They’re young and can’t wait days on end for food like older cats who have trained their bodies to do so. Apprentices deserve to eat first as they begin to grow and ween themselves to understand how much to eat and when to eat as a warrior. Instantly removing their right to eat when they become six moons is unhealthy and gross.

4. Prey is killed only to be eaten. Give thanks to StarClan for its life. This is possibly the most useless rule on here. There has never been a punishment for a cat who has broken this rule. In fact, in the books very few cats even do it. Get rid of it. It’s dumb.

5. A kit must be at least six moons old to become an apprentice. Six moons is too young. A cat is full grown between 9 to 12 months old. Many many apprentices have been thrown into battles with minimal training before they’ve fully developed their minds and bodies. While I understand cats needs warriors quickly to defend themselves, forcing cats who are still growing into a world of harsh training and fights can do terrible things to their bodies. Six moons of training has still proven to be fine, especially considering they do continue practicing and training in downtime as warriors. Waiting 3 extra months for a cat to become an apprentice wouldn’t kill or weaken the clans, it would strengthen them. Cats need to be at least nine moons old, when they’ve begun to fully develop their bodies and minds.

6. Newly appointed warriors will keep a silent vigil for one night after receiving their warrior name. Literally I forgot cats even did this for the longest time until I reread this code for this meta. Just get rid of it. No one does it and it serves no purpose.

7. A cat cannot be made deputy without having mentored at least one apprentice I still don’t get this one at all. I read the story of its creation and it felt forced and awkward. Training one other cat doesn’t make you more fit for the responsibility of protecting an entire clan. It needs to be either removed or changed to say every cat must train at least one apprentice before retiring.

8. The deputy will become Clan leader when the leader dies, retires, or is exiled. Why is this rule here. That’s how the ranking system works. Why do they need an extra rule in this code. Get rid of it you have a ranking system for a reason. This is an understood thing.

9. After the death, retirement, promotion (to a leader status), or exile of the deputy, the new deputy must be chosen before moonhigh. I do understand this rule in its own right. A leader picking their helper quickly can insure the clan has a backup if the time comes. But the time is too short. Especially for deputies who deal with a sudden death of a leader. The role of deputy is important. It’s the cat who takes care of the clan to keep it running smoothly and carefully. Rushing a new leader, or even an old one, to choose a deputy is how mistakes are made. Both Tigerclaw and Whitestorm’s times as deputies are proof of this. Bluestar was making a snap decision on her third deputy and couldn’t view past Tigerclaw’s strength to see the deadly ambition that was visible to the readers. Firestar felt rushed since his first choice said no. He picked a cat that was too old for the role, and honestly who wasn’t fit for it. I love Whitestorm but he didn’t have the right skills to control an entire clan. At most, the time limit should be a week to insure the right cat is chosen.

10. A Gathering of all four Clans is held at the full moon during a truce that lasts for the night. There shall be no fighting among Clans at this time. This should really be rule number one. That’s my only issue here. This one makes sense and has an actual affect in the story other than ‘uhh loyalty good.’ Keep the rule, make it number one.

11. Boundaries must be checked and marked daily. Challenge all trespassing cats. Daily is too much for marking. Unless it’s seriously rained or snowed, like every three or four days for marking is fine. Challenging trespassing cats is just plain stupid. Do you want inured warriors? Because that’s how you get injured warriors. Checked daily, marked once in a while, calm down and ask why the cat is on your land in a gentle way before you get someone killed.

12. No warrior can neglect a kit in pain or danger, even if the kit is from a different Clan. What is the difference between a kit and any other rank? Every cat’s life should be considered important if there is no proof otherwise. Imagine being a warrior from ShadowClan and bleeding out from a fox attack with no way to call to your own clanmates. A ThunderClan patrol sees you but moves along because you’re not a kit. They have just agreed your life is worthless because you live on the opposite side of a border. This rule allows innocent cats to die simply based on age and needs to be changed to say helping all cats no matter their clan if it could mean a life or death difference.

13. The word of the Clan leader is the warrior code. Why do you have a warrior code if the leader can just change it. I hate this rule and it’s absolutely confusing. Pick something. Have a code for all the clans or let the leader decide.

14.  An honorable warrior does not need to kill other cats to win their battles, unless they are outside the warrior code or if it is necessary for self-defense. Unless they’re trespassing. Or sitting on the sidelines. Or breathing. Cats kill in battle every time and hardly any serious punishment is given. Especially in the newer books. Just get rid of this you don’t follow it anyway.

15. A warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet. Hmm. The discrimination against any cat, especially kittypets, who doesn’t live in a clan is weird considering the clans rarely welcome in outsiders. This rule is a dumb fear tactic used to imply cats who aren’t in clans are less than worthless and scares kits into loyalty instead of having the clan earn that through proof of the beauty of clan life. It’s a wack fear inducing rule that really doesn’t need to exist.

16. Each Clan has the right to be proud and independent, but in times of trouble they must forget their boundaries and fight side by side to protect the four. Each Clan must help the others so that no Clan will fall. This rule contradicts so many others. Why have borders and multiple clans if you have a rule that says ‘oh yeah but sometimes we need to be one clan because... we just do!’ I hate it, it was added way too late and has been followed and required like twice. Bramblestar is stupid and this rule is stupid. Get rid of it.

Proposed fixed code based on what I’ve said: 1. A Gathering of all four Clans is held at the full moon during a truce that lasts for the night. There shall be no fighting among Clans at this time. 2. Defend your Clan, even with your life. 3. Kits, Queens, and Apprentices must be fed before anyone else. Sick cats and elders unable to get their own food at any time may eat alongside them 4. A kit must be at least nine moons old to become an apprentice. 5. After the death, retirement, promotion (to a leader status), or exile of the deputy, the new deputy must be chosen before seven days have passed. 6. Boundaries should be checked daily. Trespassers should be met with peace before fang.

7. Every cat’s life has worth, and everyone should be protected if they are hurt or in danger far from their own clan. Possible 8. Every cat must train an apprentice before retirement

[livingasaghost]

is this too personal? should it go on my private journal blog? maybe so. but i don’t fucking care.

listen i know to fall in love is like THE PEAK of the human experience (for some people, or at least that’s what the allo world has led me to believe) and i do in fact know it EXISTS like i know true love is real and it’s out there and people are living a fairytale where someone will stay married to you for like 30+ years and they will do ANYTHING you ask them too just bc they think you’re cool but like.........the fuck of it all is that i still believe romance isn’t meant for me

way back when i started this blog when i was but a dumb high school child i would always get pent up on line UGH ALAS NO ONE WILL LOVE ME I AM GROSS AND STUPID! (which like...valid) and i kept feeling shitty bc everyone was falling in love (none of those couples save the one shitty one survived that hellhole) and no boys would pay attention to me (me, a girl who stayed at home 90% of the time, did no extra curriculars outside of guitar lessons, and did not EVER interact with the boys in her classes unless forced to) and also i think i just hated myself (still valid sometimes) ...wait where was i going with this...OH YEAH i kept feeling sorry for myself bc NO ONE WOULD EVER LOVE ME and it felt like some huge travesty that no guy would ever tell me he thinks i’m special and beautiful and that he would do my laundry for me if i asked (the golden standard honestly). which like...in some ways, might be true. i do think true love is special and i think everyone deserves a shot at finding that, but i think it’s been cool to see my views on all this change over the past few years.

it’s not that i don’t believe in love. it’s not even that i believe i’m undeserving of it or that no man will ever find me attractive (bc honey i am GORGEOUS and i don’t CARE). like i think if i put myself out there and did try to go on dating apps or meet people at parties or go to bars i COULD do it. like i DID go on a date last year and that guy was VERY MUCH into me. and it was sweet. it was nice to have those nervous butterflies bc OMG WAIT YOU THINK IM CUTE??? NO WAY like yes that was nice! so clearly it can happen! it’s a thing! but like...i think i’ve become more exposed to that stuff and i’ve been in those situtations and i’ve realized that i am much more aroace than i thought. i still don’t think i’m aro, by any means, bc i genuinely love romance books (which means i like romance yes????? who’s to say) but like...man the idea of being IN A RELATIONSHIP...it’s weird man. 

what’s odd is that up until like...2008/2009ish i don’t think i EVER was fantasizing about marriage/falling in love...at least not like that, not dramatically. i remember in 8th grade i went to oh lord it was a BIBLE STUDY OF ALL PLACES and the girls were like “so are you praying for your future husband????” and i was like uhhh what and then i SPIRALED SO HARD after that bc i was like FUCK I MIGHT HAVE A FUTURE HUSBAND!!! WOW!!!! A WEDDING IS SO PRETTY!!! I SHOULD HAVE THAT!! I GET TO HAVE THAT!! THE UNIVERSE/GOD OWES ME THAT!!!! I’M GONNA BE THAT!!!! and like the fuck of it all is that if i had never had that realization, had never seen bride wars or started a journal to my future husband (PLZ LAUGH BC IT’S THE SADDEST MOST HETERO THING I HAVE EVER DONE AND I HATE IT BUT I KEEP IT BC IT’S A JOURNAL OF THAT TIME OF MY LIFE) i don’t think i would have spiraled so much in high school fearing i’d end up alone. like sure when i started reading romance books i got sad too, but i don’t think i realized until that age that like...i was so invested in marriage? (yes we switched from love to married we’ll get to that - apparently it’s therapy time????) like i think i always assumed it’d happen for me bc doesn’t everyone get married and have kids? (my sweet summer child oh boy the brainwashing was deep) and it’s like.......fine. bc marriage is fine. love is fine and great whatever. (and i had a great marriage to learn from) but also...........all those expectations were pinned upon me when in actuality what i’m realizing now is that IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER!!!!!!

like i’ve been to a number of weddings now and i’ve seen friends get engaged, have breakups, fall headfirst in love and then fall out it just as quick, i’ve seen friends be single and have hook-ups and get married and have their heart broken and like....even though in my heart of hearts i know it’s worth it if you find it, i also know that i wouldn’t know how to handle it. like i’ve read books about it all, i’ve listened to the songs, hell i HAVE watched other people go through it all...but i still don’t know what mine would be. bc the fuck of it all is that 1) i rarely feel attraction to anyone, and i haven’t met someone i’ve been attracted to since 2010 (!!!!) 2) at the end of the day i don’t think i necessarily want a physical relationship (which is kind of half the reason people marry right?) and 3) i don’t think i can imagine myself being that intimate with another person. 

is it possible? yes. maybe one day in another 10 years i’ll make another leap and i’ll be living somewhere like new york and i’ll meet some guy through a job or through travel or through some weird twist of fate and we DO hit it off and everything works out and suddenly i realize that i can only be comfortable with this ONE person and thus we take it slow and eventually get physical and get married and HOORAY ITS ALL FINE IM NORMAL and as it turns out the gut feeling i had at 16 was correct and i AM actually demisexual! could happen. i wouldn’t be totally shocked. but i also know that right now...it’s not a possibility. it would take a LOT for me to be in that place. and i think that’s the difference. ten years ago in high school i just assumed i was normal, i assumed if i got what i thought i wanted it’d all work out and be fine and i’d be happy bc I WAS IN LOVE. but the fuck of it all is that that first date i had? it was proof that you should be careful what you wish for. i don’t want a boy to kiss me. i don’t want a boy to hold my hand. i want someone to talk to, who likes what i like, who supports me and thinks i’m cool, who’ll buy me nice presents sometimes and see me for who i am and not run away. and honestly? i HAVE THAT. i have a few people like that actually.

what i realized was that what i ACTUALLY want, is for the butterfly feeling. that feeling you get where you’re like nervous bc the other person said they think you’re cute and they want to learn more about you and they’re interested in you and they SEE YOU and you feel the same way about them and you think they’re nice to look at and they think you’re nice to look at. that’s what i want. i want the butterflies. i want to be attracted to someone. i haven’t felt that in GOD so many FUCKING YEARS. i mean i feel that with fictional characters sure, but we all know that’s stupid and doesn’t count. 

like i kid you not i’ve only been attracted to two (possibly 3, but i’m not counting the 3rd) people in my entire life. just two. (i don’t count the celebrities and characters and things although i guess if i did it’d be up to like 5-10 maybe) but like people i’ve met? two. that’s it. and it’s all so STUPID. bc it DOESN’T MATTER! like i feel weird being like LOVE ISN’T FOR ME I DON’T WANT IT! bc it feels like a lie and i do know i would like someone to fall in love with me. but genuinely, truly, i feel like a different person that the hopeless girl i was in 2010 bc...i don’t need it. i don’t know what i’d do with it. i don’t want someone to touch me. 

the great thing about all this that i realized a long time ago is that this bitch is never going to have a bad heartbreak. and i know the saying better to have loved than never love at all.......but i do love. i love all the time so much that sometimes i can’t breathe. i just...don’t have that kind of love. and it’s okay. bc no one will EVER hurt me like that. 

like i always said if i WAS going to fall in love it would happen ONCE like i will not be dating multiple people in my lifetime, hell i probably won’t even go on that many dates without finding THE PERSON bc in part i don’t put myself out there often, but mainly bc i KNOW people. i know myself, i know what i want, i have intuition about all that and i truly genuinely think that if i ever found it, it’d be that or nothing. bc i also think the person i’d be into would be similar. and i know people probably think that’s stupid and also there’s nothing wrong with dating a lot of people in your lifetime, in falling in love more than once, but like...i’m not that kind of person. i think part of me really does believe in soulmates, even if there is some level of free will in the world outside of determinism. 

but because i feel like that, and bc of my very VERY private personality (who doesn’t let people in easily, who doesn’t care casually, who doesn’t give my heart away without protecting itself) i just don’t think i’d ever let myself...oh no here is a dark truth YIKES...i don’t think i’d ever let myself feel that deeply about someone. 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well this is an interesting thought

which is the PERFECT start to a romance novel i might add

like i feel a LOT don’t get me wrong. i may repress my emotions but ya girl has a lot of passion a lot of love a lot of feelings for things. and i do love some people A LOT. like friends mainly. i love them SO MUCH (too much) and the ones who are STILL my friends...i have learned how to let them live their lives. i love them desperately, they inevitably let me down or move or fall in love (jesus christ it’s the worst) or whatever, and then things shift and i tell myself “hey you know what? it’s okay, you’re clearly no longer the most important thing in their life, so you can just pull back and not invest so much in them bc clearly they want to invest in other things and that’s okay!!” and then i move all my affection to someone else who DOES want it at that time, and thus i let people go bc i give them the space i assume they need and then the space gets to big and we can’t overcome it bc i don’t know what i’m supposed to fight or go back or try again or whatever and then they don’t fight for me (maybe bc i didn’t fight first, maybe bc they just stopped caring about me) and then suddenly...it’s over and i’m sad but i’ve put so much distance between us that i don’t really feel anything anymore. like oh my god what the fuck

literally my heart’s self-destruct protocol is that when i notice someone slipping away and stop caring about me i just assume the worst and immediately stop caring about them and then they can’t really hurt me. so the ones who HAVE hurt me are the ones who directly called me out and lied to me or did something bad. most of the people i drifted from who i once ADORED really only stopped being close to me because i thought they didn’t want me around anymore and i didn’t want to be annoying. (or bc i pushed them away bc i didn’t want them but that’s another thing) so like truly i think it would have to be someone being MEAN to me out of nowhere bc otherwise i’d just be like “it’s cool, we grew apart, i’ll get over it” (which i dont believe someone who really loved me would do) ahhhhhhhhhhhh

...

so anyway we all know this is hypothetical and obviously i wouldn’t know how i’d genuinely react if i fell in love but we also know that i WON’T fall in love in the next 5-10 years (prove me wrong by tyler joseph) but it’s fucking VALENTINES DAY WEEK and literally this happens every year bc i try and convince myself that HEY! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE IN LOVE DAMMIT! but then sometimes i think FUCK! I WANT TO BE IN LOVE DAMMIT! and it’s like honestly yeah mood....but they can coexist. i want to fall in love. i know i would not do well in a romantic relationship right now. i also know i deserve love, and i would be a great partner to someone. but i also know it’s all complicated and fucked up and difficult and i don’t meet people anyway and i wonder if my real partner is somewhere waiting in new york and and and and and and and i’m just so FUCKING SICK OF IT ALL!!!!!!! truly!!!!! i’m sick of feeling inadequate just bc i don’t want to kiss a boy. i’m sick of feeling obligated to fall into society’s romantic norms. i’m sick of waiting for someone to love me and treat me well when i have people who do that already. i’m sick of my friends falling in love, sick of people having their heart broke bc they fall for shitty people...i’m sick of shitty people breaking other people’s hearts for no reason. i’m sick of my awesome parents and their absolutely beautiful true love. i’m sick of being single. i’m sick of daydreaming about what it’d be like to be romantically attracted to someone. i’m sick of reading romance books and i’m sick of wishing i was in one. i’m sick of being asexual. i’m sick of allosexual people. i’m sick of watching people make out. i’m sick of my friends falling in love and then treating their friends like shit just bc they only care about their significant other. i’m sick of VALENTINES DAY!!! i’m sick of weddings!!!! i’m sick of conventional hetero norms!!!! i’m sick of love songs and dating apps and feeling like my worth is tied to someone loving me romantically. i’m sick of SEX OH MY GOD PLZ MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!! 

i can’t believe my therapist tried to tell me that i would always be a little lonely if i never had a romantic/sexual partner. fuck that. you don’t need anything but your friends and your family and your own self love. god is big enough.

I’M NOT LONELY I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO SEE AND UNDERSTAND ME AND LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM!!!!!

...

just had a weird thought that i can never be an authentic christian bc half my friends aren’t christian so around them i act like christanity is a joke (in some ways it is?) but i also can’t be authentic around my christian friends bc some of the things they say i can’t fully stand behind either bc i am a secular person too and it’s just like WE REALLY CAN’T WIN HUH GOD!!!!! i love being unknowable!!!! at least i have laura shes the only person who understands both sides that’s nice

oh my god i get to hug laura the day after tomorrow 

...

anyway. 

can’t wait to be the random single family member who shows up at all the family gatherings while all my cousins get married and have kids! i finally have accepted that i get to live that dream and WOW IT FEELS GOOD!!!!!!

[annakie]

Thoughts on a DW Rewatch & Mass Effect replay.

So I’m in the Eleven / Clara half-season now.

Also I’m now replaying Andromeda.  I have thoughts, about both.  I’ll start with Doctor Who then label it when I get to Mass Effect stuff.

Oh my God this gets long and rambly.  Apparently, I have a lot of thoughts.

So, season 702... I’m ready for it to be over.  I miss the Ponds.  I felt like most of the first half of this season was pretty great, honestly.  I’d forgotten how fun some of those episodes were, I think at the time we were anticipating a new companion so heavily that it was harder to appreciate those episodes?  I feel like there was a lot of criticism levied towards them that now I felt like was a bit too much.  The western episode was kinda meh but still not bad.

I’m not sure what exactly it is about these Clara / Eleven episodes that I’m still not connecting with but I’m in the middle of the Crimson Horror episode (which is a Vastra/Jenny/Strax heavy episode and enjoying it more than anything else so far this half-season.  

*edit later* NOPE NOPE NOPE I’D FORGOTTEN HOW THE DOCTOR FORCES A KISS ON JENNY.  GROSS.  SUPER GROSS.  SHE’S A MARRIED WOMAN, A LESBIAN AND DID NOT CONSENT TO ANY OF THIS.  BAD DOCTOR, BAD.

Honestly even with some excellent guest start acting, the Russian Submarine episode was STILL a slog and the ghosts in the 1950′s episode no better.  Like they still weren’t ridiculous and unwatchable but... just didn’t feel fun or interesting at all?  The Journey to the Center of the TARDIS episode was decent, and I felt like that wasn’t nearly as cool as it should have been..

I remember reading a criticism of these episodes early on where they said that the biggest fault is that they failed to give Clara any real characterization or solid personality other than “girl the Doctor is obsessed with”.  She’s SUPER IMPORTANT but not only do we not know why at this point but it really doesn’t feel... earned?  I don’t recall it ever feeling earned that Clara was supposedly always so important?  “The most importantest companion EVAR!”  

And as someone who stanned the hell out of a character who was hated in the fandom for “replacing” a previous companion I’m checking myself to make sure it’s still not because I Miss the Ponds.  Like, I don’t HATE Clara, I just, at least at this point in the rewatch, can’t find any reason to really LOVE her?  She’s there, she’s fine, Jenna-Louise Coleman is doing a great job with what they’re giving to her but... I don’t know.  It all feels... off.

I had forgotten all about the “the Doctor rides a motorcycle up the side of a skyscraper” moment and something hit me in that moment that made me remember that wow people hated that moment.  It felt really... shark-jumpy somehow.  

I love Eleven, but this half-season isn’t connecting with me, AT ALL. It feels like the writers just went and dug through a bunch of rejected script ideas, polished them up and were likle “let’s just do this until Matt Smith is gone.”  I’m anxious to get to Twelve.

Mass Effect Stuff

OK TECHNICALLY I haven’t finished ME3.  I still need to do the party and the goodbye scene, (Citadel Epiloge Mod installed) but I’ve gotten all the Stuff and done all the missions in the arena.  I just wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye yet, so I started Andromeda a bit early.

-----------------

OK look I had a point I wanted to make and never quite got where I wanted to go with it right here.  I’m too tired of trying to fix it, so this stands as written.

This playthrough had me ruminating a lot on Kaidan and Garrus.  I really love both of those characters, though in my heart I’ll always primarily love Kaidan, I’ve done the Garrus romance and wouldn’t mind playing that character again to see the romance one more time.  In ME1, I bring Kaidan everywhere all the time, and pick which other companion I bring to the story-based missions based on what I know is gonna happen like I’m sure most people do.  Wrex for Therum, Tali for Feros (though I REALLY wish you could switch before going to see the Thorian), Liara for Noveria, Ashley on Virmire, Garrus for Ilos/Endgame.  I rotate through all five for sidemissions.  

In ME2, Garrus is my always-bring companion, with Garrus + Miranda being my favorite team.  Except after the Omega relay, where characters with Throw really shine with all those husks running at us, Jack holds the bubble, and Miranda and Thane, who both have Warp to help take down the Reaper Baby, are the preferred team.  Also so Miranda can tell TIM to fuck off.

Then in ME3, once the game opens up, Garrus is back on the perma-team, with a preference towards bringing Liara along... until we get Kaidan back.  And then I realized I didn’t bring him to a single thing except a side mission or two until Earth.  Mostly, this is because I’m following the Kaidan Banter guide and it turns out Garrus is a real banter hog for most of the missions.  At leat he’s not James, who I literally never use unless I’m going on an N7 mission and feel bad that I haven’t taken him off the Normandy in awhile.  I mean, even Javik gets more play.  Also EDI doesnt leave the Normandy til near the end when all of a sudden she gets real important.  

But Garrus is always on the team for Priority Earth.  And that always felt like the way the main game should end, with your two favorites.  (Also what kind of monster wouldn’t bring Wrex to the combat-centric areas of Citadel DLC?  I keep thinking I should have runs where I bring other people but... Wrex is my other fave and we don’t get him with us AT ALL since ME1.)  

I love Garrus, so much.  And I was thinking with this whole parallel DW rewatch / Mass Effect replay think I’m doing right now how both Rose Tyler and Garrus Vakaraian are characters that were ruined for me for awhile due to their respective... overly enthusiastic fanbases who a small percentage of were dicks to people who loved other characters.  The Kaidan tag (and from what I understand Thane got some of this too, but not nearly as bad) was a pretty hostile place for awhile (and yeah I used to check the Garrus tag too and there was a small amount of tag-invasion there but uh, like 5% of what the Kaidan tag got) which made loving the character of Garrus a lot harder for awhile.  But when actually watching seasons 1 & 2 / the end of 4 of DW, or actually playing the games, those characters are awesome.  

Fanbases can be amazing or terrible, and time and time again I think you start to realize that no matter how great a fandom is, there are going to be a few people who can only enjoy themselves by feeding on drama, or on lifting up what they love by stomping on other people/characters/plotlines.  Going back through my blog reminded me that even the TAH fandom had some of this, with a small percentage of fans being real dicks to two prominent female characters in favor of their favorite ship, which soured even that just a tiny bit.  

It’s not fair to characterize everyone who loves a popular thing as someone who does this.  It’s also hard to avoid completely because there will always be jerks, or young/new people who don’t realize what bad form they’re showing.  I did learn by trying to fight it for a year or two, that responding might help that one person not do it again, but it’s not going to stop overall.  Maybe yelling a lot about Martha Jones did change some people’s minds.  It still isn’t that good of a look now, even knowing that in general I was pretty polite and logical about it.  I might respond to an odd comment now and again in some favorite character tags, but in general, turns out that kind of fight just isn’t worth it.

And those fights seem so stupid in the light of everything else happening in the world today.

Anyway, don’t be a dick about the things you don’t like.  

-----------------------

I also wanted to say, and I know I said it in a few other posts about this ME3 playthrough, but seriously I cannot believe how much ME3 is a changed game because of the modders.  I cannot imagine ever playing ME3 again without these mods.  There were so many small things that I kept thinking I should take note of to talk about and I’m sure I forgot 90% of them, but there’s things like... adding in mentions of the Andromeda Initiative, closing a few plotholes, mentioning Emily Wong, adding in many more Spectre console options which end up having their own plotlines, adding in an entire plotline about the VI civilization that had previously only been talked about in like, social media or Cerberus News Network posts, having the Normandy be so much more populated, seeing so many more other species on the Citadel with more variety in clothing for those species that have clothing / could have more variety, way more female Turians.... every time I play ME3 the game is more and more like the game we wanted when it came out.  

I am kind of itching to go back and replay it even now.

But hey, instead, its time to talk about Andromeda.

-------------------------

So first of all, yes, mods for Andromeda.  A few appearance mods, a lot of convenience mods.  

After having recently played DA:I and I think Andromeda and DA:I are a lot more similar than Andromeda and the previous trilogy, I had decided it was time to cut down on the stupid stuff Andromeda does, like “Oh, you want minerals?  Spend 10 minutes in each mining zone finding the PERFECT place to gather materials or you’re fucked”  No, thanks.  I’ll mine but give me that “one probe placed anywhere and you’re done” mod.  

Make the modifications and crafting materials I use actually matter. 2% damage increase is nothing.  Make my squadmates not suck because I remember doing 90% of the work myself before and that got exhausting with the number of spawns.  

I tried to not go overboard so things feel like cheating, but there’s enough out there to just get rid of the stupid stuff, and it’s nice.  And works together a lot easier than the DA:I mods did.

One thing I did do was install the Multiple Romance Mod.  I enjoyed it in DA:I, even though ultimately I only did 2 full romances.  I am **NOT** romancing Gil or Cora with the mod, I just wanted to experience all the content available for female Ryders at once, since I’m not going to have the energy to replay this 100+ hour game enough times to see every romance on its own.  So I am poly-romancing Liam, Jaal, Vetra, Suvi, Peebee, Keri, and if it lets me, Reyes when it’s time.  

I’ve only gotten all the way through Andromeda once (where I romanced Liam)  My second playthrough was right after my first and stalled out about halfway through (was romancing Jaal.)  It was one of those “I’m totally gonna get back to this! (She didn’t.)” things.  I’m gonna be honest, I enjoyed the Liam romance and was enjoying the Jaal romance, I’d done a fling with Reyes but not the full romance my first time through and the fling with PeeBee on my second.  Reyes was probably my favorite out of all of them.  So this time I decided.. let’s see which I love the most, all at once.  I don’t know if I’ll do this in the future, but this game is too long to not see all the content I wanna see, TBH.  

And you know, I still really do like Andromeda.  It’s a GOOD game.  And I’m forever going to be mad that we’re not going to see how this story ends.  This story deserved to finish being told.  Like, there are a lot of very legit criticisms about Andromeda, but it didn’t deserve the harshness it got.  And the worst thing about it, and DA:I both is that... there’s just a little TOO MUCH of it.  100 hours is an amazing amount of game but... it’s also just too much.  For now I’m not trying to 100% this playthrough.  My plan is on each planet to get the planet to 100%, take out the Kett or whatever major base, the Remnant Architect, and yeah probably clear out the sidequests that show up on the map, but fuck quests that are like “visit random Kett camps until you find the right datapads that don’t show up on the map!” or “scan random blobs in the forest that don’t show up on the map!”  

So like, do the content, not the filler.  

I still hate the vaults.  The first one is cool.  The rest are tedious.  But they’re mandatory.

I love everyone on this spaceship though.  They did the Tempest stuff SO WELL.  All the companions I think are... good?  There’s no one I don’t like, even the non-squadmate shipmates ship have so much interaction and so much to do/say.  It’s not like “a bunch of randos and Joker, with occasional appearances by Chakwas and the Engineers”  There’s no randos, it’s just a few people you have real interactions with, and its great.

The lack of enough beds in the bedroom will never not annoy me.  There’s 4 beds for... Lexi, Liam, Cora, Suvi, Kallo, Vetra and Gil?  Even if Liam slept on his couch, and Vetra put a bed in her supply room... still doesn’t add up.  What, do Salarains not sleep or something?  Does Lexi sleep in a medical bed?!?  Peebee sleeps in the escape pod, Jaal brings a bed with him, and Drack’s like “Eh I’ll just sleep in the kitchen”.  WHAT?  THE KITCHEN?

I mean sure there weren’t enough beds, even with the sleeper pods, on the Normandy either, but somehow that was less disturbing.  

Also, I know you’re supposed to HATE Director Tann but I love Kumail Nanjiani so I find it hard to be a total dick to him, even if he usually deserves it.  If he wasn’t an anti-Krogan racist I think it’d be easier to like him.  He was thrown into a pretty shitty situation and... did actually hold things together for some time.  He’s not doing anything out of malice.  He’s a dick, but also doing what he needs to do to keep the Initiatiave going.  Oh, except for being a anti-krogan racist.  (Honestly, I also think  “until he turned Cerberus Udina was just doing his job pretty well” too, so...)

Taking some screenshots as I go.  I mostly just take screenshots for me now.  I have a few thousands screenshots from a dozen or more games rotating through my desktop background, and I keep adding to it, and love it.

Anyway, I’ve gotten Eos, Voeld and Havral to 100%.  Time to go save the Moeshe.  I’m having fun.  

*edit from later* I’d forgotten that... idk if the dialog they recorded for Jaal was the first thing they recorded for him or they used a different VA or what but on the Save the Moshe mission his voice is VERY DIFFERENT and oh man, that is still bad.

Might take a break for when Onslaught comes out for SWTOR, though.  I haven’t really played SWTOR in months. Oops.

[bubblegumstardust]

Here are you book asks :D prepare for a lot! 3-8, 15-18, 21, 23-25, 30-35, 39, 40, 43, 46, 48-50 :)

time for round 2 then :D

3.Do you read books just because you saw them on tumblr??

i have read some books because of tumblr but i always check out what it is to see if i might actually be interested rather than just reading it purely because tumblr said to

4.Is there a book that you think needs a bigger fandom??

yes, Illuminae like you said when i asked you, also Zodiac, Ready Player One, The Sin Eater’s Daughter, The Diabolic, and so many other books i read because i swear like no one has read half of them

5.Do you have a snack while reading or do you close the book first??

if i can eat it one handed i will eat while reading

6.Can you ever stop in the middle of a page or do you have to finish the page or chapter first??

as long as the paragraph is finished i can stop

7.Do you borrow books from people??

nope, most of my friends don’t read all that much and they never have books i don’t

8.Do you lend your books out to friends??

if i really really want them to read it then yes

15.Do you set yourself a TBR list at the start of the month??

i tried a couple of times but i didn’t stick to it so i gave up

16.What book has been on you TBR pile the longest??

oh god idk, i mean i’ve been meaning to read Percy Jackson for years but i only just got the books so maybe that?

17.Is there a book on your TBR pile that you don’t think you will read?

absolutely NOT going to read the Uglies series or Great Expectations

18.Do you know anyone else that likes books??

yeah my mum and grandparents read a fair bit, most of my friends like books too

21.Do you write??

i do but i suck at it tbh and never let anyone i know see any of it

23.How did you get into reading??

my mum always read to me and my sister every night before bed when we were little, like cool stuff like Harry Potter, and then i just started reading. i also loved the Felicity wishes and rainbow fairy books when i was little and there was loads of them so i started reading a lot

24.Have you read a book that was really hyped up but you didn’t enjoy??

HARRY POTTER AND THE CURSED CHILD! why did so many people love it so much like i don’t get it 

25.Do you prefer physical books, Ebooks or audio books?? (/there is not wrong answer)

i love physical books, ebooks i pretty much only read when i’m on holiday, and i’ve never listened to an audio book but i think they’re a great thing

30.Can you leave a series unfinished or do you have to own all the books and try them all??

if i really really can’t stand the book or the book was really forgettable i can leave a series unfinished but usually if i have even the slightest bit of interest in what happens i’ll make myself finish a series. also if my reading tastes change while a long series is still being written i might not finish it and not feel bad about it (i.e. with the house of night series (which i read when i was way to young for it actually) and the morganville vampires)

31.How do you think you would be described if you were in a book??

i have a feeling i’d be compared to an angry hobbit with an alarming obsession with everything pretty and pastel coloured. also they’d definitely call me an asshole.

32.“They edged towards the shaking box that had just been delivered.” Should they open it?? You decide what happens next.

the box continues to shake as they approach and a foot away they all stop and look at it with concern. no one speaks as they all wait for something to happen until one member of the group decides “fuck this, i ain’t getting involved in some demon shit today” and turns to walk away. the others follow and they leave the box to do its thing while they go and get ice cream. later one kids mum comes home and finds the still shaking box. she turns white and quickly grabs the box up to her room before she opens it and turns of the...ah...toy

that wasn’t where i planned to take that but i’m tired okay, leave me alone

33.How do you organise your shelves??

well right now i kinda have books together with others that are in some way similar and also look good together aesthetically, it’s rather odd and complicated at the moment, more often than not though it’s done by colour and occasionally genre

34.What do you do to mark your pages??

book mark normally

35.Do you have a lot of bookmarks?? or just a few??

only a few

39.What book that has made you cry??

do you want the full list? because it’s extensive. i cry a lot. okay this is in order of what i see on my bookshelf: Half Wild, Half Lost, Siege and Storm, Ruin and Rising, Illuminae, Gemina, Obsidio, Zodiac, Wandering Star, Black Moon, Thirteen Rising, acotar, acomaf, acowar, acofas, Tower of Dawn, Heir of Fire, Queen of Shadows, Empire of Storms, Crooked Kingdom, The Hobbit, The Sleeping Prince, The Scarecrow Queen, The Raven Cycle, The Fault In Our Stars, Simon Vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda, Clockwork Princess, The Diabolic, The Empress, The Death Cure, The Fever Code also a few more i think but i either can’t see them on my shelves or they’re ebooks or something and i can’t remember 

40.How do you feel when you find a typo/spelling error in a book??

i won’t lie, i hardly ever actually notice them if i’m really into the book but if i’m not absorbed enough and see when then it kinda throws me for a minute

43.Free rant, go ahead, we all know you want to. 

okay so why the heck are so many books doing this thing where they come out in hardback and then i have to wait months or sometimes like a whole year or something for a paperback to be released!? like can you not? so i know you do it to get more money because everyones like “i want this book and i want it now” so they spend the extra money on the hardback but like i can’t afford to do that, maybe occasionally but not all the time. like for the amount i read and number of books i end up buying i can hardly afford to pay full price for the paperbacks and then i can’t get books i really badly want for absolutely ages because i just can’t justify spending the extra money and FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU JUST RELEASE THE PAPERBACK SOONER!? LIKE FINE YOU CAN WAIT A MONTH OR SOMETHING BUT CAN YOU NOT MAKE IT ANY LONGER BECAUSE I DIE OVER HERE.

also i’m having multiple rants here okay? 

CAN YOU FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST NOT CHANGE COVERS WHEN A SERIES IS ONLY PART WAY DONE OR IF YOU REALLY HAVE TO RELEASE THE NEWER BOOKS WITH THE OLD COVERS TOO!? I have straight up abandoned a series in part because i can’t get matching covers and you bet i’m pissed about it.

46.Do you have a bookish tattoo?? Do you want one??

i don’t yet but from the 25th July i will!!! :D48.Do you write, highlight, underline etc in your books

nope, can’t bring myself to, unless it was a shitty old copy of some book i hated that i had to study at school but even then i usually took notes on separate bits of paper

49.Worse book you’ve ever read??

oooooooh. um so i really, really hated the great gatsby, didn’t like of mice and men either, Abandon by Meg Cabot I hated but that’s all i can think of

50.Do you read classics?? If so, what’s your favourite??

i’ve read a few and literally bought a ton of them a few years back because i wanted to get into classics more but i’ve only read a few of them. I adore Pride and Prejudice so that’s probably my favourite

god this is long, enjoy!

[spideys-pack]

Death(s) in Infinity War??!!

My purely speculative ideas on what might happen to our heroes.. I hope none of it happens but in my mind, it’s possible.. Lets hope no one actually meets these fates.. 

I don’t hate any of these characters, unless I state so, I don’t mean any beef with anyone because again, these are just ideas that have been bouncing around my head since the trailer was leaked.. I thought I might as well let my thoughts out instead of letting them consume me at 5am or while I'm trying to take a relaxing shower. 

They aren’t in like a countdown order either, I just need to number them because you know... OCD. I DO SWEAR SO BEWARE IF YOU DONT LIKE THAT. Now, without further stalling. Lets get to it. 

1. Vision

Vision is probably on everyone’s lists because of the same reason which is an Infinity Stone literally being in his face. Thanos needs the Infinity Stones to complete his gauntlet. Considering the Mind Stone has the biggest spot on the gauntlet, perhaps it gives him the most power? Anyways, I think Thanos will want to take the stone from Vision and I’m willing to bet like my left big toe that he wouldn't be gentle about it and Vision wouldn't be able to survive the process. That’s why he’s on my list. 

2. Wanda Maximoff / Scarlet Witch

As much as I hate to put Wanda on my list, it seems likely and makes sense that she could die or get seriously injured during Infinity War. Why? Because she may still be harbouring guilt over what happened in Lagos in Civil War. Yeah she did say to Vision that she couldn't control everyones fear and seemed to have accepted that she had made a mistake but I can’t help feel like because this is Wanda, one of the sweetest little smol beans in the MCU, she still feels bad about it and would die trying to prove to people that she is one of the good guys. That or her other most likely cause of death is trying to protect Vision from Thanos and dying in the process. I would honestly hate to see Wanda get hurt let alone die. 

3. Drax The Destroyer 

Everyone loves Drax and if you say you don’t you’re lying. But if you genuinely mean it... We can’t be friends. Perhaps everyone thinks Drax is going to die in Infinity war. Due to the fact that since the first Guardians movie he has been out for revenge for the death/killing of his family. That has been majority of his story arc. At first, he thought the killer and target was Ronan, the Accuser but in the first Guardians he declares Thanos the “real mission” after finding out Ronan was acting under his orders. Although Drax did literally punch Thanos’ heart out in one storyline, I feel like Marvel/the MCU won't let him get away with it and survive. I have a feeling they might kill one Avenger and one Guardian so each team has a reason to fight for one another or remain allies after the war. Drax will probably be the one to kill Thanos. That’s very likely. (But between you and I, I kind of hope it’s Nebula. After years of him shitting on her, I hope she seriously gets a few licks in or honestly fucks him up). Though he’ll probably be the one to do the deed, Drax will probably die doing it. This way, Marvel gets their victory and Drax gets his vengeance and doing so, is reunited with his family. But also saving his friends doing so. Making him not just Drax the Destroyer, but Drax the Hero. 

4. Nick Fury

I know this one seems kind of far fetched, I mean I pitched it to one of my friends and she looked at me like I had sprouted a second head. Just hear me out though... So, basically The Avengers have broken up that’s obvious. 

Side note: (For Friends fans...) It would be funny if like Cap or someone that got arrested because of Tony and his team brought it up and Tony just goes “We were on a break!” I would literally cackle myself into an early grave.. 

With the Avengers at odds, what could possibly bring them all together again emotionally more than physically? The death of Director Fury. I mean it worked for the first Avengers movie when Agent Coulson “died”. Since Fury has roots with pretty much all the Avengers, they may feel a need to unite to avenge Fury as well as protect the Earth but as a team. Marvel sometimes reuses plot ideas, perhaps they would do it for this one? Plus, Nick Fury is a fan favourite and it would no doubt have a very big emotional impact not only in the MCU but with the fans as well. 

5. Thor 

Now I would honestly rather rip my own intestines out of my ass than see Thor die. He’s one of my favourite characters from the MCU. He had the potential to be such a bruiting, tough guy character but instead we get our version and I couldn't be more in love with him. I mean this guy is literally a Norse God and he’s sitting there in his trailer telling Hulk/Bruce about how he “So much has happened since I last saw you! I lost my hammer like, yesterday so that’s still pretty fresh.” Like this guy is literally huge and I love that he’s not serious. “Did I win?” “No. I won. Easily.” I was laughing the whole trailer. Just fyi. Anyways, enough about my crush on Thor...

I hate to think that we could lose Thor. But, his death makes too much sense. The Thor movies don't make as much as the others (Cap, Iron Man). After Ragnarok, The Thor movies are done. Ragnarok ends his individual storyline. The movie also brings Asgard into the war. It’s likely Marvel will kill off Thor because they had even said they wanted to switch up the Avengers team line up, and getting rid of Thor who is one of the strongest could prompt the Avengers to recruit not one but multiple heroes to fill his place. My theory us sadly also backed up by the fact that Thor/Chris Hemsworth is not yet confirmed for the following Avengers or Marvel movies. Perhaps he has signed a contract and they’re keeping it under raps because they know we look into that shit but that could also be my wishful thinking... 

6. Tony Stark / Iron Man 

*Collective gasps from the crowd* 

No, but seriously Marvel loves to build us up but then (hulk)smash us down. Think about how involved and intertwined Tony is with the whole MCU. He’s such a big character and he does a lot for the heroes. Plus, Marvel has launched a comic reboot storyline where Iron Man is now an Iron WOman. And let’s be honest, everyone is crawling over each other to get media attention over being supportive of women/races/LGBTQ... So, they would most likely kill Tony to bring in Riri Williams. Not only will this get them even more media coverage BUT it also allows them to send a huge shockwave throughout the MCU. With Tony being at odds with Cap and most of the Avengers, and him having a son-like figure in his protege, Peter Parker... He has people to leave behind and mourn in other movies. Tony Stark’s death would change the MCU a lot. But maybe too much? I’m still iffy on this one. 

7. Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow

There’s no denying that Nat is a fan favourite. She’s also just about as much interweaved with the MCU as Tony. Appearing in several films, she is a huge supporting character but as much as we try, she's a supporting character and is in a group with heroes like Vision and Hawkeye where they are the most likely not to get stand alone films. She seems to always play a big role in the victory of the team we’re supposed to root for, An example would be when she helps Steve and Bucky get passed T’Challa in Civil War. 

Side note: I would love to link this to the fact that Bucky and Natasha have a history. In the Comics that is, it isn't canon in the movies but I would also like to link Nat saying “You could at least recognize me” to Bucky in Civil War to that as well. Considering Nat and Bucky were romantically involved briefly, that could be an interesting arc considering whatever she has/had with Bruce. Either way, I would love Red Room flashbacks or even a movie... 

It seems likely that Nat could get killed trying to help everyone with the war. Considering she is one of the team members who doesn't have powers... Thanos could easily, and regrettably rag doll the shit out of everyones favourite red head. 

8. Bruce Banner / The Hulk

MARVEL. FUCKING. WOULD. 

They would take Bruce “I know, I tried” away from us. One of Marvel’s biggest hard-hitters who also needs to be protected at all costs. For as long as he’s been in the MCU, Hulk has been seen as the tank. “We have a Hulk”. Perhaps during the Infinity War, our heroes over estimate Bruce and he goes up against Thanos and ends up dead because of it. 

9. Thanos 

Marvel has a tendency to kill off their villains before they necessarily should. I admit, I haven't even met MCU’s Thanos and I already want this mother fucker to get dropped but I would also love to see Marvel develop a villain. The only villain(s) they’ve really developed are Loki and The Winter Soldier and majority of us would argue that these two are not villains. They are pretty much the only two however who have been on the opposing side of our heroes and survived to come back and/or develop. Loki jumps back and forth between good and evil and Bucky was never truly evil, he was brainwashed. The other ones like The Red Skull and Obadiah Stane/War Monger die in fiery explosions before we even get to experience their full story. Although we spend most of their movies hoping and wishing for it. I just hope Marvel gives Thanos enough time to develop outside of the post-credit scenes before the Avengers and Guardians eventually bring him down, if they even do that in Infinity War. 

10. Steve Rogers / Captain America

The thought of losing Cap really hurts, especially since he just got his bestie Bucky back. Although we all know this is going to happen. Chris Evans has been reported saying that he has indeed signed one more contract with Marvel after reading it over and feeling that one more movie was needed to wrap up Cap/Steve’s story. My thoughts are, what exactly is stopping Marvel from offing him in Infinity War and just making him majorly flashback-type scenes in the next one. We all know both Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes have dawned the Cap suit and Shield but he true question would be exactly who is Marvel’s choice? Perhaps Cap will in fact die in Infinity War and it will be Bucky who takes up the mantle and the only reason we see Steve is through Bucky’s returning memories as he tries to handle being Cap? 

11. Loki

Loki is another one of my favourites, only due to the fact that I’m weak when it comes to misunderstood villainy... *cough* Jason Todd *cough* It’s not just me who has succumbed to the seduction of the God of Mischief and his constant knack for well... Mischief. Loki has died in the MCU but he always seems to come back. If Marvel is planning on keeping Thor around, having Loki actually die just might break him if they want to pro sue a more serious angle, we’ve seen what Loki’s death does to Thor. Perhaps having Loki die after he presumably gives over the Tesseract may fuel Thor with enough rage to be one of the potential people to take Thanos out.. 

12. Nebula 

Nebula is a likely casualty of the Infinity War. Simply because of her role in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. 

Or, perhaps she plays a much larger role in Infinity War. In one storyline Nebula steals the Infinity Gauntlet and sabotages Thanos betraying him. If Nebula does this, Thanos could easily kill her. After she was humanized in GOTG Vol. 2, this might be an emotional trauma Marvel could want to inflict on Gamora. Gamora has a possibilty of playing a big role in the destruction of Thanos but having her lose her sister who she kinda patched things up with... That could give her the edge she needs. Despite how much I want to see more of Nebula and have more development for her, this seems possible. 

13. Sam Wilson / Falcon

Sam Wilson would honestly in my opinion, be a tragic loss. His character was amazing from his first 30 seconds on screen. He has heart and humour and it’s hard not to love his character but that’s also a moth to flame with Marvel. They might kill off Sam to not only hurt Steve but also promote Bucky to have something to avenge after Steve dies and he has to become Captain America. We’ve already seen Bucky throw himself in front of Sam to take the brunt of a hit from Spidey so maybe, just maybe there’s some sort of friendship there and killing one of them might trigger Bucky’s need to become an Avenger kicking off a storyline that could support Marvel’s 9 contract deal with Sebastian. 

14. King T’Challa / Black Panther 

Why T’Challa? You ask... Well, as much as I would like to say it’s because Chadwick is just too precious for this world and be done with it, I must make a point.. Marvel probably won’t want to have two multi-billionaire badasses with equally badass suits in play. This is assuming they don't kill Tony, perhaps they will kill T’Challa? Again, this goes back to my theories surrounding Sebby Stan’s  9 contract deal. I think it’s very likely they have chosen to follow the storyline of Bucky becoming Cap after Steve is gone. From the Infinity War trailer, it looks like Bucky is settled in with T’Challa and the Wakandans. Or is that just me? Perhaps Bucky decides to stay in Wakanda. After all, the world isn't exactly welcoming him with open arms at the moment.. How do they get Bucky out of Africa so he can become Captain America? They kill off T’Challa. His only tie to Wakanda. 

I don’t know a lot about Chadwick Boseman’s contracts and I can’t seem to find anything but this again is one of my more iffy theories. I hope it doesn't come true, I love T’Challa, or what we’ve gotten so far, I hope we get a lot more.

15. Peter Parker / Spider-Man = Tony Stark Version 2?

I know, I know.. The thought kills me too. We just got our MCU Peter Parker and I think it’s safe to say, everyone loves having him. 

I have Peter on my list not as a death though. I just think he’s going to get seriously injured. Marvel might just be baiting us with that whole trailer “Tony, I’m sorry.” snippet but at the same time, Peter getting injured makes sense to carry a certain plot line. *cough* Tony’s death *cough*. Tony stated in Spider-Man: Homecoming “And if you die, I feel like that’s on me. I don’t need that on my conscience.” Tony’s compassion and love for the people in his life is a special thing. Something I honestly love about Tony. But, it could be his downfall. In Ultron, we saw that Tony’s worst fear is the Avengers dying and the fact that he “Could have saved us. Why didn’t you do more?”. Tony is a protector. So, having Peter around during the battle could be dangerous and potentially fatal for Tony. Peter has sort of become Tony’s surrogate son/protege and I don’t think he would let anything happen to him. If/when Peter gets injured in Infinity War, I think it will throw Tony off his game. He may feel guilty or worried about Peter and being distracted like that while facing someone like Thanos? Let’s just say if anything happens to Peter, we shouldn't just be worried about him, we should also be worried about Tony. 

16. The Stark Era/Legacy

I swear to you, I don't hate Tony or RDJ. I just can't shake the thought that we’re going to have to say goodbye to him. 

The MCU started with Tony, even if the earliest events take place in the 1940′s with Cap. It was a Stark that made Steve Cap. The Starks are rooted in the MCU and are the basic foundation of it. They’re heavily involved with all of the events of the MCU. This theory isn't entirely the death of Tony Stark but the death of Stark involvement. 

Let me explain/paint a picture... 

Captain America: The First Avenger: Howard Stark develops a serum that can turn an ordinary man into the ultimate soldier. Thus, creating Captain America which in turn saved America from destruction. And well, German rule. Howard’s super soldier was the one that took down The Red Skull before he could develop and distribute deadly weapons to Hitler and his Nazis. In doing so, the Americans and their allies were able to stop Hitler. Also, it was Howard who built that iconic shield and thought to build it from Wakandan vibranium. 

Iron Man: Tony is running his father’s business seemingly where he left it. Using intellect no doubt inherited from his father, he develops weapons and other tech to continue to protect the world that Howard had helped protect in the 1940′s. The plot of Iron Man is showing Tony not only becoming Iron Man but Obadiah, becoming greedy with power and wanting to overthrow Tony. It was Stark tech that ended up saving Tony and America from terrorists and Obadiah.

Skipping forward to the Avengers... 

The Avengers: It’s obvious that Tony had been playing with the idea of the Avengers with S.H.I.E.L.D. He doesn't say something like: “What the hell is that?” When Pepper mentions it. It also seems like it was Tony who had been talking to Pepper about it in the first place when she says “Which I know nothing about...” So obviously Tony had been part of coming up with the idea. So, we can thank a Stark brain for the Avengers too??? 

Avengers: Age of Ultron: No one lets us forget that Ultron was Tony’s fault. Especially Tony. “And then Ultron.. My fault.” (Civil War). Tony was scared for the safety of Earth and more importantly it seems, his team mates. After his vision of the Avengers laying dead and Cap accusing him of not doing enough Tony gets the idea to create the synthetic being that is, Ultron. His intentions were good but his execution faltered. 

Captain America: Civil War: I won’t say that Civil War was Tony’s fault because it wasn't, it was equally Cap’s too for not wanting to sign the contract just as Tony did want to. It was a Stark who opposed the title character which carried the plot. And when all of the basic plot lines were complete, the big finale drawing the movie to a close for the final climax battle was because Tony found out Bucky had killed guess who under HYDRA’s control?? 

Howard and Maria Stark.

At the end of that fight, we see Cap give up his mantle to continue protecting Bucky. What was the reason to give up his mantle? 

“That shield doesn't belong to you.You don’t deserve it. My father made that shield!”  

(Oh, yeah.. a little side note.. Go back to watch that fight scene and at the end when Steve helps Bucky up, Sebastian’s groan in that scene holy fuck, jesus on a tricycle it’s HOT.)

Spider-Man: Homecoming: Tony was the one who built Spidey’s new suit. He was also the one that gave Peter the idea that he was capable of a lot more than stopping “grand theft bicycles”. I mean he held his own against THE Captain America. In one scene Peter and Tony start to argue and Peter’s reasoning for all of his behaviour throughout the movie was because: “I just wanted to be like you.” So, Peter’s mistakes and actions throughout his movie were rooted from the fact that he just wanted to be like Tony. 

Avengers: Infinity War: This movie hasn't even come out yet so I’m not going to act like I know Tony’s full involvement or whatever, but we do know that Peter is prepared for the war because of his brand new Iron Spider suit curtesy of you guessed it, Mr. Anthony Stark. 

Also, Marvel might lean more towards this option because keep in mind, RDJ is getting hella expensive because even he knows how important he is to Marvel’s cinematic universe. They might lean more towards offing Tony to save themselves some cash..

Therefore, if Marvel really decided to kill off Tony, that would be the end of heavy Stark influence. Of course, the Starks would still be present but only as a memory and a company. There wouldn't be an actual Stark to back everything up or come up with new ideas. Unless Pepper is cooking up a little Stark bun in the oven, Tony’s death would mark the end of the Stark line, thus, lessening his influence in the MCU. 

[redrackham87]

COMMISSION ME TO CREATE YOU SOMETHING?

Hey everyone!

The short version is that due to continued unemployment, my financial situation is edging ever closer to Defcon Dire and a good friend gave me the idea that I might try opening myself up to commissions, so here we are. I’m hoping that someone out there just might be willing or interested in taking me up on this. :D

What I’m offering:

-fandom graphics (like these or these or these)

-fics (drabbles to 5k or so, to start, but we can talk if you want something bigger - my ficpages here and here)

-general graphic designer stuff (do you need a poster? A fake book cover for you story? This friend who needs wedding invitation designs and has a tiny budget? Etc?)

-heck, I’ll even do a hand-drawn doodle if you really want one (examples here and here and here. These are not high quality – they’re just fun, silly things, but you want to donate a little for one, I’m 100% game!)

INTERESTED? LET’S TALK SOME MORE.

(either check below the cut or go here)

~~~

If you’re interested in a FANDOM GRAPHIC:

This includes: computer/laptop wallpaper, banners, icons/avatars, forum signatures, art for your fic, art for somebody else’s fic, fanmix covers, general fandom graphics. (ficart examples here and here and here)

1. Fandoms: the list is long and mighty. I strongly prefer doing something for a fandom I know, but I am willing to branch out into fandoms I don’t know, as long as I can find decent screencaps of the characters or actors in question. (Note: I am not super great at doing heavy manips (ie. for AUs) though if you absolutely need a manip, let’s talk!) Crossovers welcome.

2. Pairings: pretty well any gen theme (about a character, quote, episode, show/movie/book, etc) or any het pairing including rare pairs, AU pairs, and crossover pairs (preferably no slash, but I might be to make it work). There is the odd pairing I’m completely against doing, so just ask me. :)

3. Restrictions: Nothing explicit, rated R. No incest, underage, or extreme age gap pairs (unless there’s timey-wimey reasons for it). I have zero clue how to do gifs/animated gifs and cannot offer those.

4. Timing & Process: a graphic typically takes me about 1-4 hours, give or take, depending on how easy it is to find caps, quotes, etc and how easily it comes together. I will create the graphic and send it to you for your approval.

Unlike my tumblr gifts each year, this is a graphic you are donating to make, so you can request any changes you’d like (within reason) and I will do my best to accommodate you! You get the final approval on it. Once the changes are complete, I will send you the completed file (jpg). You’re free to share it wherever, however, as long as I am credited where you can (ex. In your author’s note if it was ficart, on your blog if it’s a post on your tumblr, in the description if it’s a fanmix cover, and so on).

5. Pricing: for the most part, it will depend on the size of the item and time involved, but as a baseline:

-small graphic (icons/avatars, forum signatures): $5 per

-medium (fanmix covers, banners): $10

-large (wallpapers, ficart, custom posters, etc): $15-30, depending on complexity

~~~

If you’d like A FIC:

This includes: drabbles (5 to 500 words), fics 1-5k long. If you want something larger, contact me.

1. Fandoms: Supernatural, Avengers/MCU, Star Wars, Lost, Chuck, Better Off Ted, Star Trek, Doctor Who (2005), Man From Uncle (2015). These are what I’m most comfortable writing in, but if there is a fandom on this list that you have a burning need for, talk to me. (It’s been 84 years since I wrote Harry Potter, but I’d willingly give it a try again!) I may need time to re-familiarize myself with canon. ;)

2. Pairings: pretty well any het pairing including rare pairs, AU pairs, and crossover pairs. There is the odd pairing I’m against doing, so just ask me. :) Gen fic also VERY welcome! I can’t write slash, as it’s just really not my cup of tea. (That being said, I can write gen friendship and you are totally fine to read it however you want.)

3. Subjects/Themes/Genres: adventures and/or angst with or without a side of ship, genfic, hurt/comfort, humor, character study, mystery/suspense, sappy fluff, tragic death (canon or not), tropey fic like best friends to lover, sharing a bed, fake dating, found family, i hate you stop saving my life, unexpected broship. Anything time travel related. Also willing to try AUs - especially monster hunter, assassin/thieves/spies, fairytale, coffeeshop, apocafic (if you want an AU, let’s talk, because some AUs just don’t work for me) - and crossovers between my listed fandoms.

I am possibly willing to write an OC, but bear in mind if you have an OC as the lead or secondary lead, writing time will be MUCH longer so I can work that out. I will even be wiling to attempt some shorter, sappy or gen, non-explicit, reader insert imagine-style fics for SPN or MCU. Again, if there’s something you don’t see listed, just ask me! :)

3. Restrictions: Nothing explicit/smut, rated R. No incest, underage, or extreme age gap pairs (unless there’s timey-wimey reasons for it). Unending darkfic, super violence/gore, rape/abuse of any kind (*unless it’s just referencing a canon event), incest/threesomes/moresomes, kinky fic, horror, mpreg/pregnant/kid fic (just super not interesting to me and I wouldn’t do it justice!), crackfic.

4. Timing & Process: fic writing time for me varies enormously. As a rough baseline, after we speak initially about the idea, I’d like a few days to brainstorm and then present a vague outline to you for your approval. Once writing actually begins, I estimate taking a few days to bang something out, then editing begins. I can and will send you weekly email updates and/or snippets (and you are 100% free and encouraged to poke me constantly about progress!).

You are free to keep the finished piece to yourself or share it however you like, as long as I am credited as the author. This is for you, so I want to do what I can to make you happy. So in the event that I’m not doing something you like, we can chat about that!

5. Pricing: depending on the prompt, pricing will range anywhere from $10-$75. If you’d like to negotiate a price, I’m totally cool with that.

-under 500 words: $10

-1 to 5k: $30 – 75

-5k+ : talk to me

~~~

If you’re interested in GENERAL GRAPHIC DESIGNY STUFF:

This includes a very wide umbrella, so it’s probably a very good idea if we chat first. But some basic items that could be included here: posters, cards, invitation design (wedding, birthday, finale party, etc), fake book covers for your story project, labels, banners, nicely put quote on a t-shirt, etc.

1. Whether you need something for your blog or for some personal project, hit me up. I’ve got a hearty portfolio and experience with freelancing I can share with you, so come talk to me.

2. Restrictions: I can’t do your art/school project for you so don’t ask. I can’t print your item (that’s up to you on your end!)

4. Timing & Process: this will depend almost entirely on the project at hand, so again we’ll have to talk first. A simple project (ie. poster) can take as little as an hour, where as a set of wedding invitation options can take as much as 6 hours. Regardless, I will create the item and send it to you for your approval and keep you updated on general progress.

This is something you are donating to make, so you can request any changes you’d like (within reason) and I will do my best to accommodate you! You get the final approval on it. Once the changes are complete, I will send you the completed file(s) (jpg, pdf, etc). You’re free to share it or print however. I’d love some form of credit, though I recognize a physical printed thing doesn’t allow much for that, so do whatever you can. :)  

5. Pricing: for the most part, it will depend on the size of the item and time involved, so talk to me first and I can give you a better quote (all prices negotiable). But as a baseline:

-small/simple (ex. simple poster, labels, quote on a t-shirt): $10 - 20

-medium (ex. fake book covers, smaller banners, simple invitation): $30 - 50

-large (ex. multiple invitations, wedding stationary set, set of cards, more complex/time-consuming projects): $50 - 200, depending on complexity and number of pieces required

~~~

If you’re actually interested in a HAND DRAWN DOODLE:

Congratulations! I honestly did not think anyone would be interested! XD

1. Fandoms: the list is long and mighty. I pretty much can only manage fandoms I know. Crossovers welcome.

2. Pairings: pretty well any gen theme (about a character, quote, episode, show/movie/book, etc) or any het pairing including rare pairs, AU pairs, and crossover pairs. There is the odd pairing I’m completely against doing, so just ask me. :) Also willing to do lowkey, non-shippy doodles of Dan and Phil.

3. Restrictions: Do not expect a note of realism. Seriously, you clicked on the example links, right? XD Nothing explicit, rated R. No incest, underage, or extreme age gap pairs (unless there’s timey-wimey reasons for it).

4. Timing & Process: usually, I just get an idea or feeling and sit down and doodle it. I could call it a sketch, but that’d be doing a disservice to sketches everywhere. XD It takes me anywhere from a few minutes to as much as a few hours to complete a doodle, depending on complexity. I would draw something up and send it you for approval and/or changes, if any.

5. Pricing: for the most part, it will depend on your prompt and the complexity of the scene, but as a baseline:

-simple doodle (one character, no background): $5

-medium (1-3 character, minimal or no background): $10 - $20

-large (3+ characters, minimal to moderate background): $20 - 40, depending on complexity

~~~

“Okay, I’m interested, what now?”

Message me. Drop a note in my ask, send me a tumblr message, a FF.net or LJ PM, and we can exchange emails and go from there!

~~~

If you have any questions about anything I listed or didn’t list, JUST ASK. :) I would love to chat with you about this project before you spend your hard-earned money!! I want to be able to create something just for you and hopefully help out my weeping, hollow bank account in the process.

Thank you!! :D

~Red Bess

[thenaaru]

Odd numbers on both for AVIE

JOKES ON U I LOVE THESE YA SHIT.

This is really long but also really interesting if you wanna know more about Avie, under a cut to save your dash!

#1.

1: What’s your OC’s biggest insecurity and how would they react if someone pointed it out to them?Her failings as a spellbreaker thus far; she feels very behind in her training and though it’s not for the want of trying she just can’t break through that next wall in her progress. She feels like she’s disappointing Zalin in some way. @curiouslich​

3: Does your OC behave differently around different people, if so with whom and how?Avie heavily modifies her behaviour around almost everyone she meets. To most, she is charming and flirtatious and charismatic. She would probably be described as a nice person; but behind closed doors is a completely different matter. She’s straight up emotionally abusive towards her husband, denying him affection or civility unless it benefits her or to get what she wants, only to withdraw it immediately after.

5: How would your OC generally react to someone being verbally abusive towards them for no apparent reason?She’d just look at them with a raised brow before shooting them down in a torrent of sassy flames.

7: Does your OC have any irrational phobias?The sound of clinking chains will wig her out, which isn’t so irrational when you know she was meat-hooked across the battle field by an abomination in her first skirmish with The Sunguard. She’s also afraid of snakes; she doesn’t know why, she just is.

9: Does your OC feel a pressure to achieve or are they content and calm with doing what they can at the moment?Currently she’s under a lot of pressure to make a breakthrough with her Spellbreaking; she doesn’t feel like she’s good enough and every time she’s unable to protect her allies it rubs salt in the wound. Off the battle field, she feels immense pressure to reclaim (steal) her lands out from under her father so that she can disinherit him and be free of his grasp once and for all. She’s also feeling the pressure from the fall through of numerous trade deals with Orgrimmar due to the trade embargo they’ve placed on The Sunguard.

11: How would your OC react to hearing they’re adopted?She’d be very confused, and then she’d do everything in her power to hide the fact. Her entire lifestyle is built on the fact she’s nobility and heir to a large amount of land and money; she’d hide her adoption under the rug as quick as she could and wouldn’t be above murder to keep it a secret.

13: What kind of situations does your OC avoid the most?Anything that involves her having to be around her father.

15: Does your OC consider themselves a good person?Avie thinks she’s God’s Gift. She’s not.

17: Does your OC suffer from any mental health issues?She almost certainly suffers from some sort of depression and/or anxiety but is in complete denial and doesn’t acknowledge either.

19: What boosts your OC’s confidence the most?Tell her she’s gorgeous.

21: Does your OC hurt others often intentionally? If yes, how?See above: emotional abuse towards husband.

23: Does your OC tend to hide something about their personality/essence when meeting new people? If yes, what?Again, see question 3. That part of her personality only begins to show through the cracks when someone has her complete trust and her guard drops.

25: How would your OC process the grief caused by the death of a loved one?Avie hasn’t experience much grief; losing he rmother at the end of The Winter of Woe was the first real grievance she’d experienced. She became very closed off and sought solace by spending a lot of time on her own. Perhaps if she had people in her life she felt she could seek comfort from, she would turn to them.

27: Does your OC practise any kind of escapism? If yes, what kind?She’ll often get high and/or drunk and seek out a one night stand for temporary escape. If she can’t do those, she’ll take Stormherald out for a long ride and just wander, staring into space with a blank mind.

29: How does your OC behave on the face of a conflict?She gets angry, and will probably try to hit whoever is going for her if it’s not in battle. At war, she’s very disciplined and steadfast; I currently can’t think of anything that would make her turn and flee except maybe several Abominations all heading for her. In verbal conflict, she’ll attempt to sass or shout the other person down until she wins.

#2.

1: What does your OC feel is important to be talented at?Lying, and at your chosen skill/career path whatever that may be.

3: Does your OC struggle with any type of addictions?She currently uses Bloodthistle more than she should.

5: What calms your OC down the best under severe stress?Previously, it would have been her mother. Her sister, Avari, is pretty good at soothing her but they rarely see each other these days. A stern talking to by someone she at least trusts would help, failing that hand her some elf-weed and sit her in a corner for a time out.

7: What does your OC hate and like about themselves?Hate: she’s not good enough, strong enough, she couldn’t make her marriage work (even though she never really wanted it to), she’s a disappointment.Love: she’s very pretty, she’s rich, she’s confident, she’s physically very strong and likes to show this off

9: What maladaptive behavioral models in your OC’s personality do they have to struggle with the most?She has to remember to be charming and not an abusive piece of shit like she actually is. She also struggles to let go of grudges and will form vendettas if she thinks someone has wronged her; she has destroyed poorer noble houses before.

11: What makes your OC feel most guilt in their life?Avie doesn’t really feel guilt because she doesn’t really think she’s ever done anything wrong. She might feel remorseful occasionally for her treatment of Aron, but as she is right now guilt is not a thing she experiences often.

13: How independent is your OC for their age and life situation?Avie is 53, and for such a young elf she could be fairly independent with the means she earns from being a fairly high ranking member of a milita; however, as second in line for the Silverbrooke lands she still relies on her father for most of her money and the apartment in Silvermoon that she lives in. She hopes to change this soon.

15: Is your OC afraid of confrontation or do they seek to lay things down on open?She certainly isn’t afraid of confrontation and will call people out if she has to or thinks they deserve it. Sometimes she’ll actively antagonise people just because she wants a fight.

17: What does your OC do when they’re dealing with intense emotional pain?She lashes out and then becomes very withdrawn; she’ll have a short explosive phase and then hide and sob until she’s nothing left to give. Its unwise to approach her when she’s like this, unless you’re one of the very few people in her life she loves.

19: Is there anything others often admire about your OC?People tell me she’s pretty and that she’s the tankiest of tanks in roll20 and that makes me happy :D

21: How much of an attention seeker is your OC?SO MUCH. She doesn’t even care what kind of attention it is, she just wants to be at the centre. She thrives on rumors about her going around the courts and preens when she gets positive attention.

23: Does your OC have a criminal record? Nope.

25: How does your OC see their own value in comparison to other people?Avie is very self centered and thinks she’s worth her weight in gold. You might think that being a tank means she’s selfless but she does it mostly for the glory. She’s not above bailing if she knows she can’t win and there are only three people she’d currently risk her life to protect; Zalin, Iiloridan and Kalyanar (by virtue of the fact he’s Lori’s cousin and she couldn’t bare to see him upset).

27: What does your OC think about the concept of love?She’s never been in love and due to her forced arranged marriage and the weird, abusive set-up between her parents she has a warped view of everything romance related: she’s not keen.

29: Is your OC wild/ reckless or do they tend to stay on the safe side inside their comfort zone?Very reckless. Avie will go out of her way to do something stupid on the battlefield if she think’s it’ll work or buy her allies more time to do the thing. She’s also reckless in her personal life, having multiple affairs and undermining her father politically without much care for who sees.

THERE DONE @edaigoa​ :|

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Koivu Injured; Boyle Traded; Updates on Byfuglien and Larkin; Cap Leagues – February 7

  The Minnesota Wild announced that captain Mikko Koivu will miss the remainder of the season after tearing his ACL and meniscus in his right knee. He is set to have surgery on Friday and then we can probably expect some sort of time line.

Koivu has one year left on his current deal and will be heading into his age-36 season.

Until we know more about Koivu’s recovery, I won’t speculate there. Let’s just hope he can come back and be close to the player he’s been for the last several years.

As far as the rest of the team is concerned, I suspect this means Minnesota packs it in. They are currently in a wild card spot but there are seven teams within six points and they’re already without Mathew Dumba. This probably means Eric Staal is to be traded by the deadline, which is just a few weeks away. He is a pending UFA and can always re-sign him. I guess we’ll know more in the next couple weeks. If they go on a big win streak, it’ll make the decision tougher. If they start to lose ground, it makes it easier.

It should also mean a lot more minutes for Victor Rask. He’s averaging under 15 minutes a game so far with the Wild but with Koivu out and Staal potentially gone in the next couple weeks, we could be about 20 days away from Rask being on the top line and playing 19-20 minutes a night. Not that I’m a big Rask guy, but anyone earning those types of minutes playing with Jason Zucker and Mikael Granlund (or whomever), is worth the look. Just keep him in mind once the Staal trade chatter picks up.

*

Dylan Larkin was back in practice for the Red Wings just a few days after suffering that strain that took him out of the lineup for last Saturday’s game. He had been expected to miss up to two weeks, but it looks like he’ll be good to go for Thursday night’s contest against Vegas.

*

It took one game, but Jeff Skinner was back on Jack Eichel’s wing in practice on Wednesday. Quelle surprise.

*

Fantasy owners can expect Dustin Byfuglien back in the lineup Thursday night. I assume he’ll be back on the top PP unit as well, especially with the uncertainty around Josh Morrissey’s availability.

*

It also looks like the Flames should get Travis Hamonic back Thursday night. Whether that’s fantasy-relevant for you would depend on the size of your league, I suppose.

*

Nick Bjugstad was lined up on the top line for Pittsburgh in practice, alongside Sidney Crosby and Jake Guentzel. Did I mention that their game Thursday night is in Florida? Oh baby.

*

Nashville acquired New Jersey forward Brian Boyle on Wednesday in exchange for a second round pick in this year’s draft. The top-6 seems locked up (especially with Kyle Turris returning) and Boyle seems destined for the second power-play unit. A guy playing in the bottom-6 of almost any team isn’t usually worth much in fantasy, though Boyle will still be relevant in leagues that count hits. Overall, I don’t expect much change in his fantasy value.  

The Predators also traded for Cody McLeod. Sure? To replace McLeod, the Rangers called up Vinny Lettieri.

*

An interesting tweet came across my timeline on Wednesday:

  Past 10 NHL seasons: Tuukka Rask is first in save percentage, fourth in shutouts, seventh in wins.

Yet there is a crowd out there that still hates on this guy. I'll never understand it

— Matt Larkin (@THNMattLarkin) February 6, 2019

  This is, in fact, true. There are 41 goalies with at least 200 starts since the start of the 2009-2010 season. Of those 41 goalies, Rask is first in save percentage at .922. John Gibson is the only other goalie with at least a .920. Rask has a career .924 save percentage in the playoffs, including a Cup Final run in 2013 when he posted a .940. So I ask: is Tuukka Rask a Hall of Famer?

*

Michael Dal Colle was on a line with Mathew Barzal in Islanders practice. As for how long that remains a thing, we’ll call it TBD.

*

An interesting wrinkle in for the Bruins in their 4-3 shootout loss against the Rangers on Wednesday: they broke up the top line, moving David Pastrnak to the second line with David Krejci and Peter Cehlarik, lining Danton Heinen with Brad Marchand and Patrice Bergeron. Jake DeBrusk was bumped to the fourth line. Each of Pastrnak, Bergeron, and Heinen scored in defeat.

The overtime in this game was particularly nuts. It was odd-man rush after odd-man rush, featuring a spectacular sprawling glove save from Jaroslav Halak to briefly preserve the chance at a second point.

Mika Zibanejad scored in the win, keeping his point-per-game pace this year with 53 in 53. That makes 11 goals and 23 points in 18 games since the holiday break.

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In Bob Cole’s final home call on a Maple Leafs broadcast, we had a good ol’ fashioned Battle of Ontario shootout. The Leafs ended up with the 5-4 win thanks to a lot of wizardry from Mitch Marner (two assists), John Tavares (one goal, one assist) and Zach Hyman (one goal, one assist). Auston Matthews also tallied, giving him four goals in his last five games.

Magnus Paajarvi tallied a pair of goals, boosting his season total by 40 percent. Thomas Chabot also scored, his 20th career goal, and his 40th point of the season. He officially becomes the ninth defenceman in the NHL to hit 40 points this season, and Chabot has played just 45 games. I’ve repeated it often but he’ll be in the Norris conversation sooner rather than later.

*

The biggest news this week is probably going to be the signing of Auston Matthews, who signed a five-year deal with an AAV over $11.6-million. That might seem like a weird deal given that the Leafs would likely have wanted to keep him around for eight more years rather than five, unless he signs another extension down the road. But as Cam pointed out in his Ramblings yesterday, the team only bought one year of unrestricted free agency, which kept the cap hit down. If they buy more UFA years, that number of $11.6-million goes even higher, and this is a team that needs every bit of cap space they can manage for 2019-20. I wouldn’t expect guys like Matthew Tkachuk or Sebastian Aho to sign five-year deals.

Does this change the landscape for RFAs, and what is the impact for cap league owners? This started with William Nylander in the summer (and fall) and has continued with Matthews and will finish with Marner.

The thing is, Nylander wasn’t really out of line with his ask or with what he ended with. Though the AAV this year is wonky, Nylander effectively signed to carry an AAV of $6.96-million under a salary cap of $79.5-million. Back in the summer of 2016, Filip Forsberg signed for six years with an AAV of $6-million, Nathan MacKinnon signed for seven years with an AAV of $6.3-million, and Mark Scheifele signed for eight years with an AAV of $6.1-million. At time of signing, Forsberg had a career points/game mark of 0.73, with MacKinnon at 0.70, and Scheifele was at 0.64. Nylander, when he signed his, was at 0.73. Those guys signed deals when the cap was $73-million, which means those three guys signed for anywhere between 8.2 percent and 8.6 percent of the cap. Nylander’s deal was 8.8 percent of the $79.5M cap (though it’s a higher AAV this year because of signing bonuses, and it’ll be lower next year when the cap goes up). Now, it’s obvious he doesn’t have the same upside as MacKinnon, but at the time the contracts were signed, they had produced at a very similar rate. Nylander’s contract, then, isn’t an outlier. He asked to be paid like those in recent history with similar performance had. It may be a bit higher than we’d expect (this year doesn’t matter too much because the cap crunch doesn’t come until the season is over), but certainly not extreme.  

As far as Matthews is concerned, we can debate length of the contract, the dollars, whatever, but if we just isolate the AAV, as Cam pointed out, he’s being paid a similar percentage to other top centres. The difference between Matthews and others is AM34 is coming out of his ELC. The only real comparable contracts we can point to recently are Leon Draisaitl, Connor McDavid, and Jack Eichel. When Draisaitl signed his deal, he was 11.3 percent of the cap. Eichel’s this year is 12.6 percent, while McDavid’s is at 15.7 percent.  Matthews’s will be 14 percent next season, and as Cam pointed out, the team only bought one UFA year whereas Edmonton and Buffalo bought multiple UFA years. The difference being Eichel was a 0.85 points/game guy in his first three years, but Matthews is at 0.98 and looks to be one of the top-3 goal scorers in the league. In that sense, Matthews’s landing between Eichel and McDavid isn’t much of a stretch.  

Finally, we have Marner on the horizon. If he maintains close to his current point pace, he’ll have over 220 career points through his first three seasons. Since the 2005 lockout, there are just eight players with at least 220 points through their first three seasons: Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin, Nicklas Backstrom, Patrick Kane, Steven Stamkos, Connor McDavid, and Artemi Panarin. If you exclude Panarin because he came over to the NHL at such a late point in his career, you have seven players. Of those seven, six are future Hall of Famers with Nicklas Backstrom being the only question mark, and he’s largely been Ovechkin’s centre for all these years. We can talk about more goals and a different game all we want, but if Marner’s agent can point to Patrick Kane and say “my client’s first three seasons are similar to his first three seasons,” the guy is going to get paid, and paid handsomely.

(for what it’s worth, the first two seasons of Kane’s career saw a similar goal rate league-wide as Marner’s first two seasons)

I know there’s a lot of freaking out about how much players are making coming off their ELCs. This would change the landscape for cap league owners. The thing is, I’m not sure a lot has really changed. As I explained, Nylander’s AAV was in line with production from guys before him, Matthews is probably a bit high considering it’s only one UFA bought but he’s an exceptional talent, and Marner is producing at a level few players in his position have over the last 15 years. The circus (Nylander not signing before the seasons, Marner’s agent, etc) aside, there isn’t anything extreme here. It’s an exceptional circumstance where you have three players of this calibre all coming off ELCs within a year of each other. The Jets have something similar coming up with Kyle Connor, Patrik Laine, and Jacob Trouba, but even those names aren’t at the same impact level as the Matthews-Nylander-Marner triumvirate, and Trouba is not coming off an ELC.

All this is to say, I don’t think anything is considerably different but this is rather just a unique situation. Players are being paid more in raw dollars but as a percentage of the cap, it’s not all that different than what we’ve seen in recent history. All eyes are on Marner now, though. If he were to sign a five-year deal with a similar cap percentage to what Kane signed with back in 2010 (which was a five-year deal), he’d be expected to earn about $8.8-million per season. Depending on the length of the contract, it could change the landscape. On the other hand, it might not. We’ll see when he actually signs the deal.

What I will say is that one change to keep an eye on is the length of contracts coming out of ELCs. Nylander signed for six years and Marner for five. Maybe Matthews does the same. I wonder if we see the upper-tier of players coming out of ELCs signing short deals (five, maybe six at most) as opposed to eight. Teams are more hesitant to sign 29- or 30-year olds to long-term deals than they had been in the past, which is the age players coming off eight-year RFA deals typically land. Teams will be a lot less hesitant to sign 26- or 27-year olds to long-term deals, which is the age players would be coming off five-year RFA contracts. This allows the player some level of guarantee to sign two big contracts in their careers, as opposed to risking getting short-term deals as they approach 30 years old.  

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-koivu-injured-boyle-traded-updates-on-byfuglien-and-larkin-cap-leagues-february-7/

[fijimurmaider]

I remember making a post some time ago about OCD and...

I've finally gotten around to typing up this symptom list with some details. First and foremost, I may list some obsessions and compulsions I used to have and carry out and I will list those that have been with me forever. The most specific ritual thing at the earliest I can remember, I must have been about 5 years old. I don't remember watching a film that gave me an idea or even anyone planting the idea in my head. My sister and cousin were hanging out (I dunno why I'm putting this here lol) and I was up in their business. They were talking about weird people they knew. Anyway, I guess it freaked me out on my way to the bathroom (which was like 20 feet away from where they were hanging out) and when I sat down to pee, I pulled back the shower curtain almost without thought. I was so proud that I had done this totally brilliant thing to ward off the weirdos... and it's been with me for almost 20 years. I've tried going to the bathroom with the curtain closed and I'll just repeatedly check behind it. At this point, it's easier to just keep the thing open. A few years ago I developed this habit while IN the shower. I will look out just to *make sure.* Also, I know I've posted about the trichotillomania before, which was also something I experienced when I was young and I shamed myself out of it from like the 6th to the 9th grade, doing it only sparingly because I was 99.99% sure that someone would pick up on it and harass me over it and I'd be the freak forever. It's a daily thing for me now. Sometimes stress makes me do it more, but a lot of times it's automatic and I just *do* it without even thinking. I've also developed a skin picking problem as of probably 3 years ago and just learned to deal with it for a while until the end of 2016 when I started working a second job. Sometimes I'd pick my scalp until it would bleed. I've definitely kept my foot off the pedal lately, but I'm still picking. ***We'll get to the list after I say this*** In 2012, I got super fucking sick and it scared me SO fucking bad that I refuse to be around sick people, especially the person that gave it to me (and kids.) Christmas this year was really difficult because my nephews had been sick and I didn't want to be anywhere near them. I ran in circles about the whole situation and even told my mom I was considering buying face masks for this occassion... which was apparently the wrong idea because my mom literally laughs at everyone else's anguish and I'm sick of talking to her about issues tbh because she's always been total shit about it. I eventually calmed down when I found out it was a sinus infection and my brother's girlfriend made him sound sicker on FB than what he really was (I want to strangle her for the shit sometimes... she's JUST like my mom. Everything is ten times worse than what it is, she wants sympathy all the time and then I freak the fuck out because I think I'm going to get some bad virus that's going to incapacitate me for days.)*** 1. Fear of bodily waste and secretions (though I try to rationalize and say they're unfounded... I can't agree with that 'logic.' They are gross...) 2. Concerns about sticky substances and residue. 3. Need to align objects just so. 4. Sexual thoughts that one views as unacceptable/inappropriate. I'm going to go into this one for two reasons, the first reason is because sometimes the fear of child molestation is symptomatic of OCD, and I am super confident that I'm not going to harm any children. The second reason is because my boyfriend is going to read this and think I'm talking about gay porn or something. I'm not entirely certain how many people envision others naked or what their sex lives are like, but I tend to do that. I don't deem homosexuality unacceptable which is why I don't want to include it even if those thoughts arise. Sometimes I will hear things about some sexual deviant and imagine it, sometimes I'm appauled by it. Not so sure how much I should have included this point because I'm not sure how normal it is to do this. 5. Repeating activities. I'll including 'checking' in with this. I check the door multiple times. I'm glad most rooms I need to access go past the door and that I can just look down at the bottom of the steps to accomplish this. I also fear ever having multiple doors in a home because I know I'll have to keep up with them. I've always been repetitive, ESPECIALLY at video games. I have played against bosses before in games and either allowed myself to die or dragged a game on longer than it needed because I felt the need to just keep doing it. I used to have 4 games total that I'd keep going over the same parts and doing the same things over and over, never progressing or I'd beat the game and go right back to play it again. I play the Sims rather often and even then, I can never finish a game for a multitude of different reasons. I believe this may be why my favorite games are puzzle-related like Tetris, Dr. Mario, etc. 6. Rewording, rewriting and re-reading. I handle the work e-mails from time to time and let me tell you... I could not be a more annoying cunt about it. Yes, I understand that to some extent, being careful and proof-reading are totally acceptable... but maybe not to the extent that I carry on. My boyfriend types and re-reads an e-mail then sends it. I re-read their e-mail, I type up my reply, proof read it. Change something. Proof read it again and the unnecessary process just goes on and on until I'm happy with what I've got. I also take FOREVER to read books (I'm not an idiot, I'm good at reading...) because I get stuck on sentences and continously read them over and over. If your book has a typo, it's even worse. 7. Intrusive, violent thoughts of others harming others, others harming me, and me harming others. 8. Food rituals like not letting foods touch and being a childish prick when they do or pretending I'm *totally stuffed and just cannot handle anymore* This is why my jerk ass INSISTS on fixing my own plate. 9. The old "even numbers are good and odds are bad!" 10. Dishes can never be clean enough, dish inspection before using them like my fucking life depends on it. I'll even run my fingers across a plate before eating off of it just to be sure. This also makes it uncomfortable to eat at other people's homes as I don't want to look like an asshole. 11. Need for symmetry. This includes becoming angry when people have facial piercings all over the place. Eyebrow pierced to the left, nostril pierced to the right, etc. 12. "Hoarding" useless objects. This is less of an issue to me than it used to be. I have to talk myself up before I throw certain things away, but I've at least worked on this especially after seeing my grandmother's hoarding and how she REFUSED AND YELLED AT PEOPLE over her pile of Sunny D jugs she was DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH. I'm not the cleanest person, but hoarding does bother me, even if I do it mildly. 13. Blinking/staring rituals. I wish I could explain this in a way that didn't sound totally dumb. It goes beyond having a lash in your eye. Sometimes my eyes don't feel like they (I hear you groaning out there because I'mma say it...) like they're open at the same level and sometimes squinting and then trying to open my eyes as wide as possible and vibrating them is the only thing I can do to fix it (but it really doesn't. My fix? Wipe around them with anti-bacterial wipes or use eye drops. One eye always seems to be err...oily? and the other always seems dry and fucking closed!) I also have eye issues, so wearing glasses is a total pain because I HAVE TO CLEAN THEM 234436236 TIMES A DAY. If I engage in ANY physical activity, the number is much higher. If there's a smudge or streaks on my glasses, life will not continue, sorry. 14. Touch/tap/rub. I have to touch things (so long as they're not slimy or wet... unless it's the shark I touched at Ripley's Aquarium...) My cat is the biggest victim... her fur is so soft I just keep doing it until she runs off or starts trying to eat me alive. The tapping is more recent, but I do it with my thumb and middle finger and only on the left hand (also on my keyboard because the sound it makes when you gently tap the keys...) Also I just generally have a lot of issues with my hands and I do weird stretches with them? 15. Also I have weird toilet rituals that I'm not getting into on here. 16. Closet door in the bedroom must be checked and shut at night. I'm also the most difficult person when it comes to getting into bed comfortably. There's just so much. I'm constantly worried about fires, floods, tropical storms, tornados, blizzards, burglary, murder, being mugged, car accidents, any other transport accidents, I've thought about driving my car into off the road and face first into a hill on the interstate (in all fairness, it could have been the depression running rampant in me at the time,) I've worried that I was going to grab some rando's ass in the store because he was bent over (and I totally wouldn't even do shit like that to ANYONE, but it scared me to even think I could do it...) I hate vacations because I hate worrying about my pets and whether or not they're being baby-sat or whether or not someone in my building is going to burn the fucking place down while I'm gone. ughhh. Not even a complete list, just all I felt like writing out right now.