#but i had to dump this somewhere
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In which Ford struggles so badly to relate to other people that he wonders if he’s really human at all. The more isolated he becomes, the harder it is to reconcile with his own humanity.
#my art#gravity falls#Stanford pines#ford pines#bill cipher#comic#eye strain#TIME TO DUMP EVERY ONE OF THE 27483949 THOUGHTS IVE HAD INTO THE TAGS BABY#OK!! SO!!!!#I feel like Ford would wonder why he and Stan (being identical twins) aren’t. yk. identical. shouldn’t Stan have polydactyly too?#as a kid he would dream about secretly being nonhuman and being whisked away to a fantastical world full of people like him#finally free of new jersey‚ finally somewhere he belongs#a lot of this disconnect from humanity came from utterly failing at social interactions while others (including stan) navigated them easily#the feeling waned after Stan was kicked out and he didn't have that direct comparison but it never left#then out in the wilderness of gravity falls‚ his isolation and immersion in Weirdness dragged it back up to the forefront#he deserves to have a breakdown over questioning his own nature. as a treat <3#color symbolism time bc I have a problem and use it at every available moment!!! blue and yellow get more vivid#the further from humanity the subject is#bill is entirely made w pure rgb blue and yellow (+ approximately 2674835 textures/layers/blending modes. I reached 150+ layers. help)#I like the idea that he would appear to ford like pure math considering hes a geometrical motherfucker and how the rest of the mindscape wa#I tried to mostly use trigonometry and related stuff for the Math Greebling. as well as fractals i love you forever fractals#MORE SYMBOLISM:#the grid-ish diamond pattern in all of the mindscape bgs (and elsewhere) is a penrose diagram of spacetime#which shows other universes on the other sides of black holes#SOMEONE ASK ME ABOUT MY EUCLYDIA HEADCANON LATER. IVE DUMPED ENOUGH DUMB HCS IN THESE TAGS ALREADY#BUT I THINK ITS VERY FUN#anyways. fuckt up guys n their egos influencing how they view humanity. bill tells ford hes as human as they come bc he was so easily foole#ford cant reconcile with his humanity bc of a failure to perform in one area#and then the immense guilt and shame over what hes done <3#I have So many ford characterization thoughts. no man nor god can stop me
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but i finally met my baby and a baby might be mine
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#amc iwtv#iwtv s2#louis de pointe du lac#claudia#iwtv claudia#iwtv edit#charli xcx#my edit#had to dump all of my louis motherhood feelings somewhere so i revived my account lol#come grieve with me
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I have built up 4 hours of train delay (10h train ride now) and we just got kicked out of the train at a train station in nowhere because the electricity is broken and no train is driving on this route anymore today. AT ALL. Like the whole railway net in this sector broke because if electricity switch issues. It is 22:15. I am taking a bus out of fuckton nowhere and I am so close to not getting my next train after the bus brought me to the temporary destination that I was supposed to be. But I am only writing this because no matter what this bus has still wifi. A hero truly 💜
#valentin talks#sorry if my frustrations seep through for a second I thought I had to sleep overnight somewhere outside#at that station we were dumped at#because my phone has no money charged or wifi on its own#long story#anyways#I am safe and I will arrive at home even if I have to walk for a bit!
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I think in my AU Tianlang-Jun/heavenly demons in general are a (demon world variant of) Mew. So.. essentially. Big, bad gyarados Su Xiyan saw this funny little foetus cat & was like "I can't NOT have an egg with that"
Thankfully Mew knows Transform. It's fine.
#svsss#pokemon au#I think the story i went with in my head is that she chose to have an egg#as a pokemon rather than go through w pregnancy in human form#tried to stash the egg in the river#to keep the palace master from finding it#but then Bingy's egg got lost :(#through some shenanigans#TLDR Su Xiyan is still a gyarados#she went on a rampage & made a hyperbeam sized hole in her master#because i decided i didn't want her dead in this AU#just Misplaced#tried to find her son after calming down#but do u know how hard it is to find a single Magikarp in a river??#one that got fished up by some locals#sat in a fish market tank for a minute#got rescued by a washer woman & put in her master's pond#until they got scared the thing might evolve & get revenge#so she had to bribe a traveling merchant to dump her fishy somewhere safe#ANYWAY rly hard to find. even with help#and she couldn't stay in the human realm for long bc of the uh#whole putting a hole in the palace master thing#but at least Binghe has SY now unu
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i know there’s a case to be made for daring suffering some character flanderization in his later appearances, but i like to think the break up with lizzie was just THAT bad.
#bro really did fumble#getting caught cheating with duchess is insane#of all the times to gaf about duchess too#like never once did he care about her existence before#daring man come on you had it in the bag#i’d like to believe there’s an explanation hidden somewhere#that deep under all the hurt caused there was a misunderstanding that got lost in the height of things#but just imagine her dumping him leaves him so broken that he just decides if he’s gonna give his heart to anyone#then it’s gotta be himself right#because he can’t break his own heart like that#plus he’s gotta act like hot shit right#or else someone might realize the great daring charming had his heart broken as a result of his own foolish actions#and that’s the last thing he’d want#and then you know the story#it all comes crashing down in dragon games#and he has to reconsider his own position in life in epic winter#but after everything#i think that maybe someday#hopefully#he and lizzie can reconcile#and friendship can be possible#but until then she’ll always be the one that got away for him#or the one he let go#yeah now that i think about it cerise is the one that got away#and lizzie is the one he should have never let go of#rosabella you have your work cut out for you#eah#ever after high#daring charming#lizzie hearts
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“who put the baby in charge” but it’s sirius being treated like he’s grown basically from the time he starts speaking
#when i made this account last summer and dumped it after 2 days it was to put my sabrina marauders thoughts somewhere#idk how i got back here and like to the point of never not being here i had midterms in may and was feeling isolated#help#it’s ok i like it here i think there’s no way back now#and when school starts i’ll probably just post more#what was i going to say again#exhale by sabrina carpenter
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Things I think chaggie would do if they were New Yorkers:
— Charlie really enjoys subway performances and only carries around cash to give tips. Vaggie didn’t really care for them until she saw how happy it made Charlie. She also has cash now and started to genuinely enjoy it.
— Vaggie explains to Charlie that not every corner store is a bodega, but every bodega is a corner store. Charlie pretends that she doesn’t understand because she likes how passionately Vaggie will re-explain. They do this a couple times every year.
— Keekee was a street cat that Charlie planned to only foster, but could not bring herself to get Keekee adopted. She doesn’t foster cats very often anymore. Vaggie fosters injured pigeons sometimes, or she brings them to the Wild Bird Fund (they know her there).
— Everyone thinks Charlie is a transplant because of how fascinated she is with everything. Everyone thinks Vaggie is a NYC native because of how exasperated she is with everything. Charlie was born and raised in Lower Manhattan and Vaggie was born and raised in California. They never correct anyone’s assumptions.
#random meaningless words on your screen#New Yorker chaggie because ny is hell on earth so it’s not much of a reimagining#shitpisting hazbin hotel#also no they didn’t meet in a gay bar they probably met on the subway Charlie was probably staring at her#Vaggie probably thought they had a problem and confronted her#and Charlie loudly exclaims she’s bisexual and blubbers on about how taking Vaggie on a date somewhere#and Vaggie—who probably has only taken the subway a handful of times at this point and each time has been BIZARRE—quietly accepts…#… and begs Charlie to shut the fuck up because people are staring#they both get off at grand central station and just walk around for hours#it’s incredibly awkward and sweet and they’re both dorks#*exhale* sometimes I get the itching to do a NYerAU for multiple fandoms but I always end up hating it so here’s this list dump#chaggie brainrot hours
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People joke about ADHD all the time, even swear up and down they totally think they also have it, but then if you ask for an accommodation, to please please please provide things in fucking writing, EXACTLY what they want and need, you will even work it out WITH them, like they promised they would do — repeatedly over and over, and then you don't get it people really will fucking be like:
I am using the incorrect bathroom (TM) to place my shelving and store my things. Homegirl literally removed various sundries and toiletries from a CLOSED CABINET and SHELF because she's interested in boundaries and accountability for my mess.
I said months ago I wanted to improve things for her comfort level and needed a written list of what precisely that fucking looked like in order to achieve it and not miss anything she deemed important. I explained how ADHD works, why I needed a written reference. Why I had to have it laid out, and if something needed changing we needed to write it all out. I would've made the list myself, but they said they would make it for the whole house to hold up their end of things. And, thinking this was a very reasonable adult solution to keeping the house in good shape, I said okay, come up with the list of expectations and what is needed and that way we can update how we handle chores. Awesome. I will do that to uphold my end.
No list ever gets made or drafted or anything despite my bringing it up, knowing we need to do it, but I DO get berated for failing to meet expectations and boundaries that were never fucking provided or delivered and include "don't store toiletries in this particular bathroom because I don't like it."
I can't believe I am a goddamn adult who gets treated like an idiot child for expecting adult communication instead of snide ass passive aggressive bullshit and basic respect for my things.
Because when I fucking get home, my shelving has been removed and a cabinet emptied of my things and placed in the "correct" bathroom.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
Oh shit she solved it, this doesn't look cluttered at all!
What a vast improvement to storing things in appropriate storage!
#my mortal sins include a laundry basket in the kitchen which is where the laundry room is#doing something INCOMPREHENSIBLE to work with my adhd like use the downstairs bathroom to get ready in the morning#instead of the upstairs one because that works best for me and keeps me moving in the morning#storing hobby supplies i was using in the living room in a milk crate basket to clear space at night easily#i left an oil painting to dry on a tabletop easel on MY coffee table and she tried to clean it up causing some of the paint to come off#i used to keep an empty up placed on the mat next to the cat water fountain to remind me to fill up often#not a mess of cups not half emptied cups. a dedicated refill cup tucked behind the fountain#when it kept getting removed i switched it up and placed the cup on top of the cat food bin to clearly indicate it was a cat item#no this is UNACCEPTABLE#also all my coats were removed from the coat rack i feel insane#coats GO ON THE COAT RACK#have you ever had someone actively sabotage your tools to manage your adhd bc its not fun lol#'i can understand why it feels shocking now' literally the most vile snide snake shit when you didnt communicate boundaries at all#its not communicating an expectation to gather up my personal belongings and dump them somewhere else and then text me about it during work#this is how you know shes only ever lived with blood relatives before this lol the entitlement#adhd blogging
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i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW
#diction dump#joey drew#batim#HIS SPEECH AT TBE END OF BATDR MAKES ME JDLABRLELWL#SCREAMINF AT TVE SCREEN#JUST SHUT!! UPP!!!#okay i’m normal now. i hate him so much#he praises audrey about being his first creation of life when the ink demon is literally RIGHT THERE.#like. do you want to be good or not?? of course bendy kills you! you’re being an asshole! you suck!!#oh my godd i need to fling him around a room ragdoll style. crush him into smithereens. rrrgrghh#he comes across so disingenuous.. like. i don’t care if audrey’s your precious shining moonlight. she’s also The One Who Came Out Right.#meanwhile The One Who Came Out Wrong is SEETHING with hatred for you! do you not see the consequences of your words?!#“i know you’re in there” like the ink demon isn’t sentient?? like audrey’s just stuck someWHERE not with someONE?#and bendy’s so so angry. of course he is! his creator (well. a copy of him) is saying TO HIS FACE that he’s just a monster. a mistake.#that he’s NOTHING. and most infuriatingly that this stupid OTHER who had the privilege of coming out right is EVERYTHING!#why does she get that? why did she get so lucky? where was all this compassion when it was him? why did he never feel this love?#and so he lashes out. obviously. all he’s ever been is a monster because all he’s ever been TAUGHT is how to be a monster#and who taught him that? who forced him into that? that’s right. the biggest monster around.#so i’m sorry if i don’t find your little speech to be heartfelt joey. you’re a long way away from saying anything truly GOOD.#phew. okay. needed to get that off my chest.
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Thinking about how when I talked to my ex about feeling like I may not be cis, she accused me of trying to jump on a trend because her and her friends were trans. She said I just thought being trans was cool because I spent too much time on Tumblr and that I shouldn't fake it for attention.
She quizzed me on whether or not I experienced dysphoria and how I felt about my genitals. After all that she said "Well, maybe"
She said something once about being trans being unnatural and I was like, no, no it's not, it's fine. It's normal and common and has been part of humanity forever. And she argued and pretty much shouted me down until I didn't know how else to convince her that, no, she isn't a freak, actually.
She made a comment once about certain kinds of trans people (I wish I could remember exactly, may have been a microlabel like demigirl or similar) weren't 'really' trans, just wanted attention, etc. I didn't argue then, because I figured, she's trans so she must know better than I do, right?
She was also certain that nothing she did or said could be transphobic, because she was trans. I tried to argue against her because she said something unkind about another trans group and she shut me down with this.
She was so full of self-hate. She was so judgmental about other trans people and whether they were really trans enough or just faking it. She had so so much internalized transmisogyny and transphobia.
I haven't seen hair nor hide of her in many years. She left tumblr ages ago. I ghosted her shortly after she announced on her blog that she was exclusive with someone else - then was shocked when I didn't want to 'stay friends'.
I wonder about her sometimes. I hope she's doing better. I hope she's with someone who can help her learn to love herself, and her fellow queer community.
And I am pretty sure she's one of the big reasons I am so terrified to officially call myself nonbinary and update my pronouns. Cuz I'm probably just faking it for attention.
#i am not. i know i'm not#but she still lives in the back of my head somewhere saying these things#mod post#ex gf#sort of. it was what u might call a situationship#she's my ex.... something#gender#idk ask to tag#personal#transphobia#and i do not think i need dysphoria to be trans. tho i do experience it on occasion it is not my main concern#i feel like i need to say that she had good qualities too#she was artistic. funny. smart. good at computers and gaming. very cute#but... welp. also all this and more was going on#tbh she did me a favor dumping my ass cuz a lot of her ideas were poisonous
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"It's been so long, hasn't it?"
Hello again! This is BETA Wally! He is very polite, and truthfully just wants to get out of wherever he is!
He is not entirely alive, unlike his counterpart (I think?). He can think and he can move his eyes (and eventually obtains a voice box so he can speak!) but he cannot move!
He's a little messed up, a little dusty... ("a little" may not be the best description... He has been lying there for a few years!) But that is okay! I think he is silly anyway!
#tw disturbing#tw scopophobia#tw horror#okay i dont think i missed any#a little lore dump here cause i dont really wanna type any more in the actual post#Betty (the last post woman) worked as a puppeteer/puppet builder for Welcome Home#and was in charge of creating Wally and his design in the early stages of the show#and guess who she made?#that's right#BETA Wally#eventually BETA Wally's design was scrapped (obviously)#and was replaced with the current design we see today#so his puppet was kinda just left in a box somewhere usually#but Betty had a really unhealthy attachment to him#so theres that#ok i wont talk anymore let me do the tags#my stuff!#welcome home#wally darling#animation#i think#gif#welcome home arg#welcome home project#welcome home fanart#welcome home au#welcome home wally#ok im done i think#bye!!!
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Okay, just an idea that has been on my mind lately, its kind of not serious but also i mean this is a comedy, cmon. In the show Wednesday has issues with communicating, well, in general but particularly with her parents. If Wenclair happens, before they get together there's gonna be A Period of Angst were I'm sure she's gonna go through the 5 stages of grief about it and will definitely avoid talking to her parents as much as possible. She has to be able to talk with someone at some point, but there's no other competent adults around and honestly even if there were some, they're not Addams so I don't they'd really get it. Sure there's Fester but let's be honest, his love life is a disaster if it even survived the Debby incident (and yes we're mixing the 90s movies with the show, they're great) so who else is there to give advice to a young Addams in love? Well, no other than Cousin Ignatius Itt. He has all the qualifications
1. Addams
2. Married to a very un-Addams woman who is really cheery and loves pink (like a certain werewolf)
3. Probably cooler than Gomez and Morticia, let's be honest
4. Canon to the show (less important but still)
So. Yeah. I'm not much of a writer but I would love to see that conversation, jsjs
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idk how long my laptop will survive seeing as i hardly use it anymore so anyway here's an abandoned project from a couple of years ago where i ambitiously tried to make an rpg with the yokai outfits. here are some sprites i made
#identity v#aesop carl#identity v embalmer#joseph desaulnier#identity v photographer#tracy reznik#identity v mechanic#this is a part 1 i have more. but its not enough for an entire game#i had a couple of glaring plotholed i couldnt resolve#n tbh by the time i got to the other sprites i didnt like the way aesop n joseph turned out cos i did them first#i also meant to shade them but i couldnt get around to it. i think the flats are nicer but i also feel like i should shade#project death by perfectionism. if anyone wants to hear more im more than happy to share about this#i could probably dig up the docs somewhere. i dont have the time or energy to make a full blown game#i am so bad at coding#also shoutout n apology to ish aka azzy mun cos she offered to help with this#but i disappointed both her and myself by not having anything very concrete. im sorry ish but also thank u for the help#anyway seeing as the blog is slowly dying due to lack of asks n interactions n also my full time job that hates me#i might as well dump these here for archive sake#unconcerned art#part 2 coming soon
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am i so hard to care about?
#i need to vent and i know u guys cant stand me because i can feel it (and certainly from the anon hate) but i think im gonna have an ulcer#if i dont put this out somewhere#SH s*icide tw !!!!!#i need some advice or opinions because i feel like im losing it#i dont understand why my friends cant care about me#i know !!! i know i seem out of touch and insane because i say this so often and the question to someone reading would come natural: maybe#it is just ur perception…. maybe u suck ass as a friend too#and i do ponder about that!!!!!! i take those possibilities into consideration i do. and i genuinely dont think i suck as a friend. i always#check in. if they seem off i ask how they feel. i ask updates on their stuff. i dont think i deserve this tbh#but especially when i am struggling they just disappear#like even when i reach out and let them know im doing bad. they clearly read my measages and choose to ignore them#these are supposed to be my best friends#these days ive been so bad. and trigger warning again#i just feel so suicidal and i have been hurting myself in the desperate attempt to cope and manage these thoughts#and i dont tell them these things#i dont share the details because 1) it is too much to dump on someone and 2) they dont show any interest even on the surface level of my#problems so i just wouldnt tell them the deeper issues#i am just in so much pain. and i also feel a lot of anger because of their behavior. i feel so so hurt by it. so many years of this going on#of them just not even acknowledging my struggles while i was in the midst of them and trying still to support them and be there for e#whatever they had going on. and getting nothing in return#i hate that i feel so angry but i do. and ive been swallowing this anger and pain for so long i feel it eating my insides#even my therapist doesnt understand why i am friends with people that dont care about me#i dont know what i should do#i want to say something#actually i already talked about this to one of them one year ago exactly and i told her all these things and she just said she didnt know#why i was ignored. and then still kept being a part of it#the thing is i am so upset and my mental health is so so so bad. i am supposed to spend new years eve with them in two days but i dont know#how i can do that feeling like this#but if i speak to them about it i think it will also ruin the mood#if someone has any thoughts or advice it would be very welcome….
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u know i am kind of the freak of the transfem community i guess bc i remember trying celeste like 2 or so years ago and it wasnt rly for me, i didnt get it lol. i ended up not finishing it and i remember like telling a friend and they were surprised that anyone would play celeste and not finish it and started talking a lot about celeste and its story and i appreciated it but i was just like. ok cool lol. maybe i should try it again, i do own it on itch.io, feel like itll just hurt my hands tho. im not rly good at precision platformers
#im too busy playing luxor and stoneloops#idk just had this thought and wanted to dump it somewhere#could just be a skill issue tbh lol#what are the other games weird gay and trans ppl online like.... i guess i dont rly care for undertale either#the characters are cute tho. i like alphys
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