#but i got to listen to podcasts & do something w my hands so like. it's still fun

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason people don’t want to work is that it’s just normal for them to be in bad work environments.

My issue with working at Walmart wasn’t the work itself I was doing. It was the circumstances around it. The concrete floor, lack of places to sit, having to put up with asshole customers, not getting time off for injuries, and bad pay.

If I had been given shock pads to stand on or a few chairs to rest on sometimes, if they paid me a livable amount of money and I was allowed to yell back at asshole customers, if they had given me any amount of training, I would happily work part time folding clothes all day and telling people where the swimsuit section is.

I’m a creative type. I’m a writer. I’m pretty smart, even. But if I could make a living folding shirts and listening to podcasts in one ear and helping people find the scented candles for 30 hours a week? I would. Leaves some mental space free for me to brainstorm. Lets me catch up on my reading with audiobooks.

But instead I was treated so badly by upper management and customers that I’m like legitimately a little frightened whenever I step into a Walmart now. And I only worked there for three months a few years ago.

I’m a good lower level worker. When I’m treated well. I like finishing tasks. I like being helpful. I like having some time to talk to coworkers and some time alone with my thoughts. I’m a frickin team player. And that’s how I was at my first job. I was treated well by my supervisor. I was trained. They were patient with me. I was so good at being low on the totem pole at that job because I was valued and felt like I was being listened to. I was able to sit still when there was nothing left to do which made it feel less bad when we were on a time crunch. I didn’t mind working hard at that job because it was fun even though I was doing all the low level stuff that the supervisors didn’t want do.

But at Walmart I was like that for all of two days. Then I figured out that nobody appreciated my work and if I worked in my normal people pleasing manner I’d kill myself because their standards were high and the rewards for meeting them were low.

So I slowed down. I started avoiding customers. I started taking a lot longer to get to my breaks and to come back from them. I became worse at my job because no matter how good I was at it there would be no reward, no appreciation, and I’d just be pushed further beyond my limits.

My only level of happiness from that job came from the people who were working with me. The old ladies and my department manager who made sure I wasn’t overextending myself. The one other young man working in the clothing department who always got sent with me to unload the heavy stuff and commiserated with me about the shoulder injuries, the hurting feet we were too young to have.

But none of that was enough to make me stay. We were constantly understaffed. I was constantly abused by customers and not able to do a thing about it. I was not paid much at all. So as soon as I had enough saved up for what I was trying to do and my last semester of college was about to start I handed in my two weeks.

I would have found a way to stay if I liked that job. If I liked that job I would’ve pushed myself to my mental limits to finish college and keep that job at the same time. Heck that job could’ve been a rest from college. A place to get away from it. But I hate that job so I got out as soon as I could.

I want to work. I want enough money to live sort of comfortably. I want to have some tasks to do to give my creativity a rest. I want to be a part of something. But the way that modern corporate run work environments are set up does not give me any of the things I actually want out of a job. And I think that’s the same for millions of people right now. A lot of people would happily spend their lives as a waitress or an Uber driver or a warehouse worker or a farmhand or any other “low skill” job you can possibly think of. But with the way the world works right now those jobs are absolutely miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way. I know because I’ve had a fulfilling part time minimum wage job that I looked forward to going to every week. A job where I was listened to and allowed to sit when I needed to. I miss that job. Especially now since I’ve realized that’s not the standard. It should be. People should look forward to going to work or at the very least not get mild ptsd whenever they set foot into a Walmart.

[xoxoluka]

fic or oneshot request for jschlatt x streamer! reader?? that’s really all i got, but i’m obsessed w the idea of it

ooh wait maybe they’ve kept their relationship secret but they do a collab video and it’s how everyone finds out that they’re together

yes yes yes!!!

"Ｓｃｈｌａｔｔ ｇｅｔｓ ｇａｍｅ？"

pairing: jschlatt x cc!reader

summary: the fans finally figure out who your 'mystery boyfriend' is, basically.

warnings: swearing, reader is implied to be clean girl aesthetic and wears makeup, etc

a/n: its like 3am, its so hot... someone sedate me

a blind person would be able to see that you and schlatt were in no way similar. you ran your own, singular channel, where you gave advice, did cleaning timelapses, makeup tutorials, hair tutorials, the works. on the other hand, schlatt ran multiple channels, had multiple companies, and had multiple podcasts. he was everywhere, while you were in one place. no one ever thought that they would see this specific stream.

"do you really think we should do this?" you ask, unsure of him rather than yourself.

"yeah, what's the problem with it?" he shrugs nonchalantly, making sure the camera was in the right position.

"nothing, but.. you with your bits, and lore, and everything... you really think they're gonna be 'okay' with it?" you question, your voice quiet.

schlatt finally makes eye contact with you, giving you a look. you know he doesn't actually care about what people think, and has told you to not care, but you can't help yourself.

"listen, toots, whatever they say doesn't matter because i'm still gonna want to date you after this," he says in a strong tone, making his point known.

you nod and look down, letting out a tense breath and looking back up at him. "okay, let's do it."

the plan was for schlatt to be doing another tiktok reacting stream, and you come in to confront him about it. it was a bit that you couldn't remember which one of you came up with, but it was supposed to happen near the end of the stream. you had at least an hour to kill until then, most likely more.

⋘ ᴛʀʏ ʟᴀᴛᴇʀ... ⋙

you scrolled through instagram for nearly the whole two hours until you got the confirmation text from schlatt. you took in a quick breath and let it out, standing up and walking to his office.

"guys, we're almost at the end and not a single one of you has sent in something funny," schlatt shakes his head. "let's keep going."

"you said you would stop," you speak loud enough that the mic would pick it up from across the room. "you said you wouldn't react anymore."

this makes schlatt pause and put the camera into full screen mode, so more of the room and chat was visible. "listen, it's just one stream-"

"no, you said you were going to stop," you walk closer, the side of your torso now in frame. chat started to question what was going on and who had walked in.

"it's just- this is what they wanted," he defends, a small smile on his face.

"you said you were going to rehab, you're tearing this family apart," you say, fake crying until a loud, long meow came from your feet.

"oh! hi, jambo." you giggle, looking down at the cat that stared up at you, rubbing against your legs.

you pick up the orange kitty and hold him in front of the camera, letting chat get a good look at him. you set him down on the desk after a moment, and schlatt moves his chair back into focus of the camera.

"did you guys like that bit?" he asks, but the chat was still questioning who this person was in the first place.

you walk over and pull your own office chair away from your desk, the one that sat right next to schlatt's, and sat down next to him, finally showing your face to the camera.

'no way...'

'IT'S Y/N'

'WHAT'

screams filled the chat, people freaking out that schlatt had someone like you on his stream. "I actually expected you all to not know who I was," you laugh, playing with the necklace that sat across your neck.

"this is my girlfriend, you all need to be nice," schlatt says in a patronizing tone. you both read chat for a moment until a TTS comes through.

"schlatt gets game? that's crazy." it says, making you both laugh.

"no, i'm just here as a publicity stunt actually, the viewers were going down." you say jokingly, looking over at schlatt.

"yeah, money was getting tight, I needed an extra couple dollars." you both laugh at the joke.

playful banter and answering questions goes on for about twenty minutes, and everything goes fine to the end of the stream. schlatt ends it, and a still presence enters the room. he huffs and sits back in his chair.

"we'll find out tomorrow, huh." I say, sounding like more of a statement than a question.

"guess so," he says, looking over at you. a comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you gaze into each others eyes.

"i love you," you break the silence first, speaking quietly.

"love you more." he responds in the same tone.

a/n: that was straight bootycheeks... give me the opportunity to write a fic it will be better than this TRUST

© property of xoxoluka. do not repost.

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP47 SPOILERS!

welp. todays the day. pray for me guys this could easily be the most upsetting episode of dndads for me. im dreading this so bad

- IS THAT FUCKING HERMIE SINGING???

- I CANT DO THIS

- I WAS NOT EXPECTING THE INTRO TO BE SAD IM SICK IM SICK IM ALREADY GONNA CRY

- "HATING MY FATHER INSTEAD OF HOLDING YOUR HAND" HEY???? HEY???! IM GONNA KMS

- OAKWORTHY IS CANON. IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE.

- FROM WHAT I HEARD I THOUGHT SCAM WAS IN THE INTRO???? BUT THIS. THIS HURTS SO BAD

- i feel sick i havent been able to move on from the intro

- im gonna be so honest i was expecting a "sike" or something at the end so u can imagine my relief when the little clicks started playing

- okay. okay. time to listen to ur fun facts u sick fucks

- WILL ACCIDENTALLY CALLING THE PODCAST DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AGAIN LMAOOO

- anthony stfu i dont want to hear ur voice (hes literally the dm)

- MASTER OF MANIPULATION LINCOLN LI WILSON

- will. what evil fact do u have for us today.

- NORMAL DOES TAROT READINGS WHAT

- WILL IS GONNA JUST DRAW A CARD RN???

- LOVERS??? THERES NO FUCKING WAY

- WILL ACKNOWLEDGING HERMIE DIED IM GONNA THROW UP

- A BROKEN MARRIAGE???? HOLY SHITTTT

- scary plays the piano omg!!!

- THATS THE DUMBEST REASON EVER

- "im really nervous about what anthonys gonna do this episode" U AND ME BOTH MATT

- MY HEART IS POUNDING. MY HANDS ARE SWEATING. MOMS SPAGHETTI /ref

- it has taken me an hour just to get through the intro + facts.

- "but at what cost?" AT WHAT COST IS RIGHT BETH.

- SO NORMAL WASNT CONSCIOUS FOR IT. UR FUCKING JOKING

- MATT SUGGESTING THEY HIDE THE TRUTH FROM NORMAL. I CAN FEEL TEARS COMING

- ATOPPP ANTHONY HELPP

- BETHS REAGAN JOKE TO THE RESCUE

- NORMAL IS AWAKE AGAIN. OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD

- NOOOO OFC THEYRE GETTING INTERRUPTED

- "wheres hermie?" IM DONE

- NORMAL CANT SEE HERMIES BODY OH MY LORDDD

- anthony rushing them away. i cannot. i cannot

- "well fix it" im done

- NORMAL GOES TO PICK THEM UP.

- I CANT DO THIS.

- "this marriage has one less spouse but heavens got one more little angel" MATTHEW ARNOLD CAN U NOT.

- im sitting here in shock through all of this

- "just be happy ur not in hell" shut up anthony too soon

- thank god normal didnt take damage again

- lincoln cool scar era okay

- NORMAL PANICKING LOOKING FOR SPELL COMPONENTS LIKE HE DID W TERRY JR I CANTTTT

- HENRY OAK GARCIA. SAVE ME HENRY

- LARK AND SPARROW GIVING EACH OTHER A LOOK HELP ME. HELP ME

- NORMAL DOING SENSE MOTIVE AGAIN STOP IT

- AND GETTING A 1 AGAIN!!!!!

- theyre back home.

- "VOTE WILLY"?????

- "u guys ready to see him?" NO. NO IM NOT

- ty for protecting dood scary :[

- NORMAL IS HOLDING HERMIES HAND AND TALKING TO THEM. WILL CAMPOS DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEE

- ANTHONY STOP RUBBING IN HOW DEAD THEY ARE

- "the only thing keeping u together is the absolute ignorance u have of the fact that maybe the only person who ever showed u any real affection in the last couple years of ur life is dead" anthony burch im hunting u down.

- STOPPPPP NOT THE AD

- THE OLD EARTH WHOOOA

- is the dude w the white beard that "new fan fave npc" will was talking about lol

- HENRY REVEAL. HENRY REVEAL!!!!

- BARRY?????

- I SCREAMED I ACTUALLY SCREAMED

- I DIDNT KNOW IF WE WERE GONNA GET BARRY BACK. NO WAY

- MERCEDES IS DEAD..... STOP IM CRYING AGAIN

- THEM ALL CALLING HERMIE THEIR FRIEND. OOUGH

- UR FUCKING KIDDING. ANTHONY DO NOT TEASE US LIKE THIS

- "MADE OF GOOF MATTER" UR JOKING

- NORMALS SNAPPING OHHHH GOD

- NORMAL. NORMAL ISTG.

- NORMALS TRYINF TO BRING THEM TO SCAM?????

- HOLY FUCK......

- THEYRE IN THE SIMPSONS NOW.

- SCAM LIKELY. MY FUCKING ENEMY.

- WHY DOES HE. WHY DOES HE ACTUALLY CARE. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS THERES NO WAY

- "HES MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD" SHOOT ME.

- THEY DONT HAVE A SOUL.

- WTF IS SCAM GONNA DO

- ANTHONY I DONT TRUST U ONE BIT

- anthony burch. i hate u

- okay scam apologizing does feel good

- "I DONT WANT ANOTHER ONE I WANT THIS ONE" AND PUNCHES HIM. OH. MY GOD.

- "u feel like home for some reason" WAILS

- OH MY GOD SCARYS GONNA TELL NORMAL.

- GUYS I CANT DO THIS I REALLY CANT

- THE TREE. WILL CAMPOS PLZ

- HENRY TOLD NORMAL HES PROUD OF HIM. NOBODY TALK TO ME AGAIN EVER

- ty henry for giving normal what he needed im gonna sob my eyes out

- THEYRE GONNA PUT THE SUN BACK.

- THE FUCKING. THE FUCKING SUNRISE

- MATT OLD LADY NPC

- WHAT IS THIS FUCKING IMPROV

- CHAPARRAL.

- DONT FUCKIJF HIT ME UP

- "i liked u too" sighs.

- "GOODNIGHT SWEET PRINCE" END ME.

- "hermie u definitely were one of us" SOBS

- "i did notice u. thanks for everything" AAUAGAUHH

- LINK SAID NOTHING FOR HERMIE GOOD GOD

- "lark shakes ur hand, sparrow goes in for a hug" ough.

- OH MY GOD HENRYS GONNA SEE CODE PURPLE.

- HOLY SHIT YALL THIS IS BIG

- THEYRE TEACHING HERO AND NORMAL HOW TO SHOOT.

- BABY NORMALLLL

- "help me normal, only u can save me normal" WTF??? WTF????

- WHAT THE FUCK.

- guys i made it through. [confetti falls on me]

[teruthecreator]

for the character ask meme i feel you have enough of a history with this man for me to request, if you would like: lancaster?

RUBS MY HANDS TOGETHER HOOOOOOOO BOY

Sexuality Headcanon:

gay (i think this is canon?)

Gender Headcanon:

man we dont got time to think about this because of the Everything but i think he could rock some he/she swag in another life

A ship I have with said character:

HARLAAAAAAAAAAAAAANC OH MY GOD THEY MAKE ME INSANE. THEIR DIVORCE NOT-DIVORCE IS GOING TO DRIVE ME UP A WALL. literally like just their canon dynamic makes me insane like. not to get too into spoilers bc theres friends who arent caught up but just like the Everything going on between them post -3 incident is like. GOD. the ep where they actually talk some of it out had me literally cheering and clapping around my house like i was watching a football game. literally they are so IGOR coded it PAINS ME. YOU GOTTA LISTEN TO IGOR MAN SO YOU CAN SEE MY VISION BUT THE VISIONS THERE THE IGORISMS ARE THERE AND THEY KILL ME. i will literally push all my wips aside to write the one bed fic i swear to fucking god

A BROTP I have with said character:

LANCASTER AND LOVE MAKE ME A LITTLE CRAZY OKAY. JUST. OHHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHH THEIR BOND. the fact that they start so opposite and love not really wanting to trust him or talk to him to like. TO LIKE HER ACTIVELY SEEKING HIM OUT AND MISSING HIM AND WANTING TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM. IT JUST MAKES ME DIE MAN IT MAKES ME WANNA DIE. the dnd ep really gets me bc she trusts him so much, even when he did That, and it really goes to show how much her opinion on him has changed. the fact that she’s the only one to humanize him in the beginning of his -3 imprisonment is everything to me THEY MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME YOUR OFFICER

A NOTP I have with said character:

i have yet to peek into the fandom for this podcast but if i see a single person shipping lanc w d-1 i will start throwing tables at heads

A random headcanon:

okay so i’ve been thinking A LOT about what lancaster’s favorite redbull flavor would be. because there are a lot of fucking flavors of redbull and he isn’t just drinking the regular redbull bc Why Would You Do That so like. i’ve had to use my EXTENSIVE knowledge of redbull flavors—as a redbull connoisseur myself—to decide what flavor screams Orion Lancaster Findusalive. and i THINK i have the results of my findings. i think his absolute FAVORITE would be peach-nectarine because it’s really sweet (like INSANELY SWEET) and heavy on the peach flavoring to the point that i don’t even think the nectarine is in there. and idk he just seems like a peach guy to me. i think second favorite is probably watermelon bc it is objectively The Best redbull flavor on the market and he would be a fucking fool not to like it. and then third favorite would probably be something like blueberry or juneberry (the two are almost identical in flavor to me). those are my findings as the certified Redbull Guy

General Opinion over said character:

he makes me want to EAT DRYWALL. GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD i genuinely dont think theres anything else i can say other than that. there are so many layers to him and so much going on i knew from the MOMENT i started that he would be a character that stuck out to me. and the more i hear from him the more i am certain of this. this is a certified ollieguy to me but make no mistake he is also a michguy. not as much as klein but close!!!! very close. my little onion <3

[humanmorph]

C/W (01-05) thoughts

Finished the first C/W arc + first faction game (which really took me a while. I'm blaming PALISADE and also the bad weather and ALSO getting obsessed with finishing a bigass drawing in 2 weeks)!

I've said this in a different post already when I had just started listening, but I had like, way lower expectations on this, which seems silly in hindsight. I think I just have a tougher time relistening to podcasts (it's not an issue with rereading books or rewatching movies, really), and often stop about halfway... But it's just really fun to look at C/W again having listened to the rest of the Divine Cycle (and also the other seasons, because it's fun to look at the different player characters throughout). And like. They've gotten better at this over the years so by comparison C/W is 'worse' but it's still fucking good. When it hits it hits, and it honestly hasn't even really started hitting yet (though there's some good moments already for sure. Mako buying a bunch of robots was exactly as funny as I remembered it being)! I'm pretty much just excited for everything, but the Kingdom Game expecially. Something else I'm enjoying (and he'll always continue to do this, but it's so Present in C/W) is how Austin describes scenes. He uses film making language SO much (Counter/WEIGHT is an anime, right)! It's good stuff. I'm trying to not get too used to the system because I know they'll switch. I know WHY they switched and stuff & agree with that decision but I still think it's a cool system & am enjoying the time with it, even if some scenes do drag on quite a bit (which isn't only because of the system, but it also isn't helping).

Some character stuff, I guess: AuDy: They were my favourite at the start last time I listened and I think that pretty much holds up. They're just good. They don't even do that much in this first arc (although dropping from the ceiling as a distraction is pretty fucking great), & I think most of the really good AuDy moments are still coming up, so it speaks to the fact that it's just a good concept for a character that I immediately enjoy. I'm pretty sure they continued to be my favourite pretty much until September? I guess l'll can talk more on it when I get there, though.

Mako: I'm gonna be honest I remembered Mako as way more annoying than he is. At least in this beginning arc. He's literally fine. His whole fogging robots deal is kind of weird to listen to now, since it's something they'd either not do now or actively adress in the story since it's a kind of way to take away agency that's pretty uncomfortable when you look at it longer. I wonder if there's a way that'll come up in the first Chime mission mini-arc? Their hands are a bit tied there since it's a prequel I guess, but there's probably a way to do it. Anyways, Mako ends up as my favourite by the end of the season, and I actually don't quite remember how he got there? But same with AuDy, I'll talk more on it when I get to September (it's possible it was the clone reveal. I love those).

Cass & Aria: They have to share a paragraph because I don't have an extremely strong opinion on them either from my last listen at this point in the story, nor do I now. I'm excited for Aria stuff expecially though. I've mentioned this before, but I'm definitly better at listening and actually processing information now, and it's extremely possible that I just missed things about both Aria and Cass that were just kind of mentioned in a sentence but are actually very important to their characters. (Looking back, I listened to C/W right after I had covid, so some sort of brainfog might also be at fault.) Expecially because Ali isn't very. I can't think of the right word now. But she's just quieter in play (not audio! that's Art.). It's nice seeing everyone get better at this, but for Ali expecially I'm super excited to see her go back to Aria for that mini-arc.

Re: the faction game - it's really good that I know that they cut back on factions later / consolidate them because it is. Not overwhelming necessarily but it's easy to get confused? I feel like I need to take notes on what factions do or like, also have a list of all of them to check to keep track. It's probably a good idea to check out the summaries on the wiki after I listen to these & see if I missed anything. (I keep zoning out because I'm thinking about different, later Counter/WEIGHT stuff, usually related to something they just mentioned.)

All that aside: with the scenes and also just ideas generally they are pretty much immediately crushing it. Like oh my god that first Snowtrak scene just rules so much. That's critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, and fun interaction between good friends right there.

I definitly didn't draw fanart when I was listening in 2020, and I don't know if I will now, but I'm at least in more of a mindset to even want to do it. (& actually, there is ONE scene I was extremely wanting to draw even back then, I just thought I couldn't do it. I do think I can do it now! And I will at the very least try.) But speaking of art, here's a Hudson Thorne for your troubles if you read to the end:

[oodlyenough]

also we finally played the quarry! we did 'wolf pack mode' which was p cool, would probably be more dramatic with more than 2 players lol

spoilers ofc

hands down their best effort since until dawn. leagues ahead of any of the others. wow. it was immediately apparent.

really liked the little tutorial videos in concept, they were super fun and added to the theming. although i found the actual UI for the QTEs not very good, lol, and you have to rewatch the ENTIRE tutorial video every time you wanna practice, even when you fail em

most of the cast is soooo obnoxious and mean for no reason... just like until dawn <3

i loved p much all the women except abi who never passed out of her bland origins. laura was the surprise fave lmao when she turned up w her eyepatch we were floored

i warmed up to dylan as the game went on, and max, but none of the other guys really grew on me. i badly wanted to like ryan since he was such a major character but he was so monotone and his characterization was all over the place

ryan/laura was terrible and hilarious lmao

unfortunately we got ryan, laura, kaitlyn and jacob killed, so we got a really abrupt ending. then we watched the 'everybody lives' ending and it was still... pretty abrupt? it really feels like they planted the evidence collection thing as a collectible mechanic, which is a great idea imo, but then ran out of dev time to properly implement it in the ending

the podcast in the credits was absolutely unbearable. the wannabe Shane and Ryan schtick was bad enough just to listen to the podcast eps, but when you know players are sitting there hoping for resolution on the cast and you're making us listen to these two assholes riff about dulling keys for 20 mins... lmao. we couldn't finish it

plus why in god's name would the kids send their evidence to the podcast ..............

also, some of the maps had too much "wander around and be scared just because it's spooky but nothing is actually happening" segments. like at least let me find clues or something while i'm doing that. the scrapyard segment was awful!

overall though i had a lot of fun and enjoyed my time with this game much more than any of the dark pictures anthology games. hope supermassive takes their time with the next one to do it properly as well

[brbabcseu]

What are some fun facts about AJ and his friends? They look like a fun group!

Leighanne w ur permission I am kissing u in glee

I got fun facts ABOUND

They're a very fun group! Jesse's never had complaints abt them, he thinks they're all good kids. They all got their own troubles and have their moments, especially around high school, but they're kids yk? Jesse is happy to have them under his roof if they ever need an escape or a vent or what-have-you. He WOULD love it if they could keep it the hell down after 10 pm though.

Damien is the newest initiate to the group. He's a sophomore when AJ and the other three enter their freshman year. Damien got to know Maya first through extracurriculars-- he runs track and Maya figures skates! They'd hang out after their respective practices and listen to podcasts while waiting for their parents to pick them up. AJ has a huuuuge crush on Damien and everyone teases him abt it... idk I love Damien so much he's such a goober!! V much one of those kids who "acts cool" bc he's always so chill and can easily run in more popular crowds but he's not a douche, he's actually v affable, if not a little too apolitical when it comes to disagreements + drama amongst the teens. Guess he's afraid it'll make his persona less neutral, and the idea of not being able to be friends with every different clique makes him feel insecure :(

Axel is overly boisterous, moderately annoying, and incredibly funny. Will Say and Do things just to see what happens. Rule of thumb: if it provokes their group to throw proverbial tomatoes at him, he's commiting to whatever that bit is. Likes to keep the energy up and the conversation flowing, otherwise he gets too anxious (he deals with a lot of tough things internally) and his friends remind him to relax once and a while, he doesn't always have to be so On around them. Close with all of them but has a special bond with Maya; AJ coming in close second.

Maya is sunshine incarnate. She always has a way to find things beautiful. If her life isnt going to inherently be like an indie film then she's going to MAKE it like one!! And she makes it look effortless to boot. Lover of all thing doodle-y, poetry, and podcast-y. Doesn't always matter the subject; admittedly though, she has a hard time focusing on something full through. If the name or thumbnail interests her she goes "sure hell yeah" and follows it lol. Her and Ax's respective neurodivergencies fit together very well. Her and Sam love to brag about their "boy-free" outings in front of the three guys and will usually team up when everyone else is being annoying. Maya considers AJ her sweet angel baby boy and would carry him around in her pocket if she could. She lovingly gave him the nickname "AppleJack" 🥹

Sam's been around the longest. A very level head in the group, a grounding force. She knew AJ since they were in diapers so they're essentially siblings. This is evident in how they treat each other; they'll whack one another over the head w a pillow and call each other a dumbass with EASE but also be ride or die till the end. The two can share one look and burst out laughing, super silly and goofy!! Sam's mom, Eliza, is a recovering alcoholic and has been slowly but surely putting her life together while Jesse's friend and local foster mom Delilah has taken care of Sam on and off throughout the years. Eliza is good people; her and Jesse are kindred spirits. So, meeting her and seeing her as a fellow struggling parent with a history of addiction, he vouched for her a lot and tried helping her out with housing and finding work while she was at her lowest. There were a lot of playdates, so Jesse's seen Sam grow up. He was there for all her school events, helped with all the birthdays, just as he did with AJ. A lot of that connection goes unsaid-- so it hit Jesse like a freight train when one day a 12 year old Sam approaches him and very casually hands him a father's day card. "You're not my dad but you are A dad, and a good one. I never met my own real dad so thanks for being there instead," the card read. She has to watch her smirk and keep from rolling her eyes and says, "Ah, you don't gotta cry about it!" when Jesse gets that 🥺🥹 look on his face. Despite being as prickly as her mom, she accepts his bear hug and tells him she loves him. The card is still on his dresser.

Doodles!!! Respectively: Sam receiving aforementioned bear hug, Maya and Damien hanging out, and Sam and AJ at their most affectionate

[wytfut]

“Have you read the news today? Oh boy!” ... Beatles

I know I’m set in my ways ... and this makes me appear as an old curmudgeon.

But by golly, I enjoy a good news paper (actual paper), sitting down with breakfast or coffee and catching up on the world. 

WWW it appears has ruined all of this. Lots of folks believe everything they read... and www is most likely the worst place to do this. 

Unreliable sources... that mimmick “old school” news. I think I found a source on www, .... ABC.news .... not sure. It wasn’t really ABC. Because they added the “.”, they got away from the copyright issues. And that news was horrible at best.  Something to the tune of the rags they used to sell at the grocery store cash registers, ie, National Enquirer. It wasn’t ABC, it was some other company who loop holed the copy right by adding a “.”???  Well it wasn’t ABC. 

Paper newspaper got too expensive for us..... $68/month. And we went “e”. The journal start “e” is now jumping to almost $30/month. Several pages of this is from the day before reprinted. WHAT?? Why at $30/month do I want to reread part of yesterday’s news? Most of the time, its rewrite, of some article that doesn’t pertain to nothing,.... more of a self help article...    

With no sources of news being completely reliable, it makes a guy gun shy about coughing up any money. From where I sit, does anyone back up what they are reporting anymore? 

long side story:

I was a paper boy. I hand delivered papers daily on my sting ray schwinn. Foul weather and all. In the beginning it was $1.10/month (not sunday). From there it went to $2.20 including sunday. And about the time I done with my career, it had jumped to $4.40. Folks thought that was outrageous. 

Sunday and Wednesday papers were ass kickers .... sometimes 2 loads to deliver, as I couldn’t get them all in my “paper bags”.  Sunday was delivered in the morning before sun up. And the rest before 5:30 pm. I subbed before all of this the Lincoln Star (before journal star became one), which was a morning paper, for about a year. . (humor sidenote, both printed same building, just different names, representing different time delivered). . 

I remember some of my customers being total jerks about paying for the paper... and would go months without paying. Those days the paperboy would have to go to their home to collect the monthly payments. One customer owed me 4 months (getting close to $10...). Pop decided to help out, and tagged along in Uniform. 

They leaped out of their comfy chair and immediately paid. I still chuckle with that memory. 

I’d pick up my papers at the S W corner of Cotner and Adams. One sunday morning before sun up, a car come flying down Cotner, and couldn’t make the curve (too fast). The Cekja house was right there at the apex of the curve. The car lost it, and rolled a couple of times and crashed into a huge old Elm tree on the Cekja property. 

Me being pretty young was totally terrified.... grabbed my bundle of papers and hi tailed it home. Scared shitless no less.

I heard as soon as the car had quit moving, the driver try and start it back up. Got it started, and moved on down Cotner.  

About the same time I got into the house, I saw the car coming down 68th. I was positive the driver was looking for me (get rid of the witnesses). So I turned off all the lites in the house, and hid on the floor. Sure as shit the car came around to our side of the “ditch” heading right for our home. 

Car was running horribly, flat tire or 2, steel grinding some wheres..... and putted on by our house, and stopped at the neighbors. 

Turned out, it was the neighbor. All drunked up, missed the turn on Adams. But got his car home and stumbled into the house. ... 

We are going to give up on the journal star.... and I’m looking around for a good news source that is within my budget....

Cuz Jorika suggests NPR and/or Nebraska Public Media “app”. Alexa has failed me miserably, as well as Amazon. 

I listen to a lot of podcasts.... mostly when I’m pedaling “no where”. Really like “democracy now” but no local news. 

Thanx Jo.... I’ll give your idea a go. 

[shayanapraia]

Long Blog Post: Updates on the *Experiment*

So one of my goals of Brazil was to do this "experiment" on myself that I would describe as living naturally, unplugging, and kind of resetting a lot of my habits and patterns from the big city life. So here is a nice long discussion of some of my goals, how they are going, and some of the changes I have experienced. But first I need to explain the trap phone.

The Trap Phone. I have a second phone, a cheap used android, which I mostly got for safety so that I don't need to take my iPhone out of the house. However, it doubles as a tool to disconnect in my experiment. It allows me to separate my daily phone needs from my more "addictive" phone usage. So on my trap phone, I only have whatsapp, uber, and maps pretty much. And the only contacts I have are my immediate family and closest friends, and Brazilians. Also the camera is shit. So I only text the people that I need to, and that's basically all I do on that phone. It's also a really shit phone so I don't feel very tempted to use it. On my iPhone I have everything else. Usually my iPhone stays powered off in a drawer.

MAIN CHANGES:

Intentional: Much reduced phone/screen use throughout the day, and less desire for phone

Intentional: No phone upon waking up. It's not even in my room because I don't need an alarm bc the sun wakes me up. I just look out the window for a few minutes and then start doing things

Unintentional: Much reduced knowledge of current events and stocks, which I understand might be considered a negative thing to be less "educated", but I love not knowing

Unintentional: Much reduced music. No headphones at all. So basically the only music I listen to is music on the street, of which there is plenty, and music in my house every once in a while. I feel neutral about this; on one hand, I liked my music and I wasn't like "addicted" to it, but on the other hand, it's nice to just have less stimulation.

Unintentional: I pretty much walk everywhere, I take very few cars. And I obviously never drive myself. Thought I'd miss driving but I don't

Intentional: While I walk, I have zero auditory stimulation. I used to ALWAYS need headphones: music, phone call, podcast, or audio message, while driving or walking. But I really really enjoy walking in silence and looking at stuff on the street or just thinking

Intentional: I often walk after eating, which feels good for my digestion

Unintentional: I often come and go through my household without needing to text or call anyone in my host family. This seems like something subtle/weird but it's actually a pretty significant difference from home that I notice.

Intentional: MUCH reduced wardrobe. I came w only a backpack and I kind of love how I just have these really simple options every day. It feels really nice and minimal, and it feels like I have just what I need and nothing more. But sometimes I do get tired of my clothes, or I wish I brought one more pair of shoes

Intentional: (almost) No caffeine. At first, I drank coffee because Brazilians drink a LOT of coffee and when in rome...but then I didn't like it so I just cold turkeyed. I feel neutral about that because I stopped noticing after a few days

Intentional: Reading a lot of books

Unintentional: Not taking many pictures. Mostly rely on other people for photos. Not sure how I feel about that

FAILURES

So those changes I described above are like overall patterns, but I have not been cold turkey on most of those things. I have definitely had days of too much screen time, sending audio messages while on a walk, checking my phone first thing in the morning, going on Youtube, etc. I get sucked into keeping my iPhone on, sometimes for a few days in a row. I have checked my stocks once and did not like what I saw. When I go clubbing I drink a little coffee on my way out. So ya, definitely lots and lots of times where I defy the experiment, but it is working overall.

MAIN TAKEAWAYS

My main positive effect has been a FAR increased comfort with silence and being in a meditative state, alone. I feel really happy walking alone without phone stimulation, and I also really like to go out to the beach and do nothing, just look around and think and talk to myself. This feels really good for me and I hope this pattern stays. I also think it's a great use of my time. Also my attention span has increased I think.

I also really want to hold onto the habit of no phone when waking up or going to bed. At home, I remember IMMEDIATELY needing my phone when I woke up because I NEEDED to see the notifications and slowly wake my brain up. But now, I really like looking out the window. Also there are only a handful of people that could possibly text my trap phone so it's not as exciting.

I feel worlds removed from my life at home. Not sure if I like or dislike. I don't know about anything going on at home - social things, gossip, current events, stocks - and I'm not in conversation with like 50-70% of the people I used to be talking to regularly. I like these things, but I don't think this extreme is sustainable for more than a few months.

[feuqueerfire]

My Personal Weatherman Live Blogging

Haven't watched a new jBL in soo long, I'm excited, especially because this had dubcon, undefined, weird dynamics with BDSM undertones? overtones? not sure but I've heard something to that degree and have seen a couple gifs: The bound hands one is the most prominent and I've seen it a few times but I decided to actually consider watching this after seeing this gifset about "you life is all mine" like oh you guys are kinda fucked

Ep 1 (Mar 20)

Okay, the weatherman (Segasaki Mizuki) so far seems callous and strict? harsh? but I listened to some podcasts discussing the show when I thought I wasn't gonna watch it and remember somebody saying he thought they were in a consensual relationship with this dynamic, so that's fun ig

oh they had sex lol

oh it's a flashback I was like that's sudden

"From now on, we'll do it on sunny days. Be prepared." That's crazy but I think I remember something about them only having sex on sunny or rainy days

ohh is he pent up/frustrated that it's been raining and they haven't been having sex lol

Weatherman guy seriously finds manga artist cute probably because he orders him to give him soy sauce during dinner but literally smiled last time and also this time while watching him hah

manga guy being pliant while he's manhandled ah

bruh "open your mouth" immediately made me think he was gonna spit in his mouth but I don't think they're gonna do that in a live action lol

"After all, we're not even lovers" would you both agree with that assessment? lol

"I'm already bound to him as a slave. It's only natural that I obey his voice" wow this guy is crazy, I get Mizuki's desire to dom him lol

Girl you're 3 years into this situation?

Are you excited about not having to have sex in a while?

His name is Yoh. He seems to both want and not want sex, or maybe he just doesn't want to want it. He obviously has a thing for Mizuki despite saying he doesn't. Seems to be in denial though lol

Ep 2 (Mar 20)

Oof, immediately watching next ep, I guess

All the cooking + now feeding Mizuki, ah

I understood that the little tissue doll is to make rain stop based on the ep 1 on-air comments but if I hadn't known, I'd be so confused why he throws it away angrily lol

rolled my eyes at the cleavage comment

Mizuki talking about holding back and going for a kiss...

oh dang, Yoh actually fighting back. is he brave bc he's drunk?

ohhh lol Yoh's missing his pants and the tissues are strewn about because he was jerking off

oh my god, this is crazy actually I love it like so much happening: Yok talking about making money and leaving this place + saying Mizuki doesn't like him and when Mizuki is like wtf?? Yoh tells him to go have sex with the other weather forecaster because Mizuki's never smiled at him like that like ohhh he's so jealous

Ah, so he sleeps with Yoh the day before a sunny day because then the bedsheets will dry

but also funny af to do that instead of just buying more sheets tf

Ah, Mizuki leaving him high and dry

Is this now a game of wills? Whether Yoh will admit to not hating Mizuki? anyway, this show is so fun, why did I not add it to my watchlist until last month when the gifsets got to me smh

I hope I end up liking it until the end

Ep 3 (Mar 21)

omg so she knows that Yoh lives w a guy (bf lol) and tat he likes/hates Mizuki weatherman but not that they are the same person

Ep 4 (Mar 21)

omg Mizuki so controlling it’d piss me off in another show and yet…

not them both being jealous of the girl

Ep 5 (Mar 21)

not a job crisis D:

truly a crazy ass show, the water passing kiss scene was from here?

taking his clothes off for him to bath is so

lol Mizuki becoming the startled one when Yoh takes initiative

i get Yoh feeling like Mizuki doesn’t care and looks down on him because how can he be so nonchalant about his art and job

not the tracking, be so fr

I watched eps 3-5 in bed at like 7:30-9AM, so that's why I wrote so little lol

Ep 6 (Mar 21)

Yoh being a bullied loner who has to run errands and Mizuki going to help him is sooo Utsukushii Kare. It might be a common trope idk but that instance is all I think of

her husband is so fun lol but I'm nervous that Mizuki is gonna see them T.T

no fr it's so fun that her and her husband (idk either of their names rip. her name is maybe Kasami?) are so casual like she expressed her attraction for Mezuki and he was playing around suggestively with Yoh without the other being jealous/overbearing about it. Mezuki and Yoh could never lmao

what is this misunderstanding pls Is Mezuki asking about what's so great about Kasami's husband bc he thinks that's the editor that Yoh mentioned + they were flirting while Yoh thinks Mezuki's asking about the manga character he saw (that Mezuki doesn't know is based on him?)

not Mizuki's eye twitching as he remembers Yoh with the husband bc of his coworker's glasses lmfao

Ep 7 (Mar 21)

Both Yoh and Mizuki getting hung up on the other smiling at other people in ways they don't smile at them

ohh Yoh taking care of a sick Mizuki in the college days

omg Yoh first time cooking for Mizuki was to take care of him when he was sick? No wonder Mizuki fell in love with Yoh over shitty curry + insisting that only he himself gets to eat it so that Yoh doesn't know that it tastes bad loll

the food as love language goes crazy here fr

"Draw me more. The parts deep inside of me that even I don't know of, I don't mind it if you're the one exposing them."

omg the tying hands

The fact that Mizuki apparently tied Yoh's hands to make sure he doesn't go out is so aklsdjflkadfjs this line of "I'll hide you away in our house/bedroom" hits fr in like a 4k explicit smut fic but usually not in an actual romance show however this specific series toes the line well enough that I'm having a blast lmfaoo

Ep 8 (Mar 22)

Last episode hmm will they be able to actually wrap things up?

how am i even suppoaed to feel cuz i just feel insane

girl clear up the manga and the husband misunderstandings Right Now y'all have barely any time left lmfao

did Yoh just not understand that Mizuki was using the manga's lines as a love confession?

Like, I can't decide if that ending is enough... like okay hmm... like yeah do they understand each other fr? More than ep 1 I guess but not... enough? idk

also I really wanted Mizuki to realize that the glasses guy is Mansa's husband

Overall:

The concept is so delicious wtf and the execution is mostly good but I wish it was more fleshed out (never really saw a proper resolution to Yoh being mad that Mizuki doesn't take his manga job seriously and idk if they actually fully worked out their problems in the last ep lol). It was a very fun and exciting watch.

Rating: 6/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I've watched in 2024: 6.5 -> 6]

[theunintentionallyawesomeone]

no one cares but it's my blog and I get to rant on it bc it helps me feel better and explore my thoughts.

But yes I am still mad about what went down w my coworker Friday.

The more I stew the more I get annoyed (not healthy I know) bc like as far as I know I only did what I was accused of twice?

And one time I will argue was 100% ok bc another coworker literally tried to wash her hands with powdered bleach and that's dangerous???? Like I get it, they touched something gross but I will go down as being bossy or whatever about that.

Like I guess my pushing about leaving wild animals alone bc u can get zoological illness without being bitten was too much since it was not related to a currently happening event.

I think the part that makes me most angry is when I was told to stop or that coworker would go to our boss about it. I'm mad at myself for not realizing it wasn't a joke and making smart-ass comments when just saying 'ok sorry' would have ended it but also I'm annoyed bc I still don t think I was 100% in the wrong for it. Especially since everyone got mad at me for moving something heavy by myself but me saying 'be careful'and 'don't use ajax as soap' is somehow not ok...

(I'm still going to say 'be careful' a lot anyway since we're moving shit and using chemicals that make the floors slick as shit...)

Thinking back im starting to wonder if it's not so much the being annoying or over talking or be careful but whom these events tended to happen to? The youngest coworker was the receiving end of both the events from Friday and I vaguely recall them getting snippy about my be careful while moving stuff.

I know they don't like me and I get flustered by them bc imo they have a bit of a dunning-kurger effect bc they were at the same building last year. (I've worked that building too but not last year, AND I've been doing this job for a literal fucking decade. I know what im doing more often than not...)

Like idk maybe they went and complained about me to the other coworker who talked to me? Maybe they're misinterpreting some of my comments as more aggressive than I intended them to be?

Maybe they just don't like me bc I'm loud and annoying and don't go to the same church as them.

I'm still tempted to bring my good headphones to work and just try not to talk to anyone...cant "be mean" or pushy or whatever if im focused on my tunes.

... honestly they'd probably like it. ..

I'm tired of day shift. I want it over with. I want my lonely nightshift back where I can listen to a podcast and not have to be confronted with people or my terrible social skills. If someone wants to use bleach as hand soap or pick up wild bats or try to shove a bench under an open in some tables instead of just carrying it 5 feet down the hall to an open space, then fine. Not my problem. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

[cozytree]

can’t relate to people who bake just to eat the results because mine come out terrible every single time. but god do i love to eat the dough

[beyondspaceandstars]

Idle Hands

Relationship: Matt Murdock x Reader Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, fingering, definite finger and hand kink - 18+, minors DNI Summary: There’s something about Matt’s hands and you know what they say, idle hands are Devil’s handiwork. A/N: Happy Valentines Day - here’s some smut i’ve had sitting on my computer and didn’t know what to post lmao I haven’t written smut in like forever so I hope this is ok I hope it’s…enough? Idk I just had the idea and now it’s here <3

Masterlist

You loved his hands. As cliche or stupid as it sounded, it was the truth. You swore couldn’t get enough of them.

It was pretty much addictive watching his hands glide over the kitchen countertop or gripped the handle of his cane. They were so strong and callous while also soft and comforting, especially when he’d reach out to hold you.

You knew the things his hands could do — his fingers as well — and they were your personal vice.

Not surprisingly, Matt was very aware of your obsession. He could hear the little hitches in your breath when his hands absentmindedly ran along the fabric of his couch or brushed against a blanket. He especially noticed the way your heart raced when his hand found the small of your back. Even just the simplest, innocent touches had you practically panting.

You thought you hid it well. Matt knew this, too, and he played the clueless boyfriend for as long as he could. But a man with his senses can only sit still for so long when his girlfriend’s arousal is filling the room.

He hadn’t even meant to do anything, quite honestly. You two were having a lazy day around the apartment. Matt was situated on the couch listening to a podcast or whatnot while you were curled up into his side, engrossed in a book.

At some point, he draped his arm over you and mindlessly began running his hand up and down your side. You hummed and shifted closer but nothing seemed out of the ordinary to him at first. Until suddenly he was aware, very aware, of what was going on next to him. You were incredibly aware, too. So goddamn aware of his hand still making mindless movements on your body…

Matt realized maybe too late what he had accidentally (well, was it an accident?) started the moment his hand met your body.

"Everything okay, honey?" Matt asked, casually.

You jumped, surprised by your boyfriend’s voice breaking the heavy silence. His hand was still on you. In fact, you were certain his grip had tightened. You glanced down at his hand and immediately thoughts were rushing through your brain.

"Y-Yeah," you said, unconvincingly. "Are-Are you okay?"

Matt let out a low chuckle. "Well, I was."

You gulped. "What… What’s wrong?"

He let your question linger in the air for a second. "Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong, sweetheart."

Your body was practically on fire and Matt wasn’t even doing anything. It was just his damn hands. One still hasn’t left your side while his other hand was putting away his laptop and landed not-so-accidentally on his sweatpants-covered thigh. You swore you were going to break them just to put yourself out of this misery.

Honestly, part of you didn’t want to answer your boyfriend’s demand. Part of you really wanted to lie. But that was practically useless and he’d keep at it until he got an answer. It was borderline humiliating but maybe that was also what made it a bit exciting.

"It’s your hands," you admitted.

He smirked that infamous smirk. The smug expression on his face told you he hadn’t actually needed to know what was going on — he knew. A part of him had already figured it out. Being the little shit he could be, he just wanted to hear you admit it out loud. Well, now it was out there and it couldn’t be taken back.

"My hands?" Matt repeated.

"Yes, your hands."

He hummed. "What about my hands?"

Your heart was racing now. And this asshole knew it.

"Matt—,"

You couldn’t even finish your sentence because the next thing you knew, your book was being flung to the other side of the room and Matt was pulling you onto his lap. It was so effortless. The way he practically manhandled you… Your head was spinning.

"You like my hands, huh?" He asked, making it a point to firmly place his hands on your hips as he spoke. He was squeezing roughly. Not enough to do any damage but just the right pressure that you were sure to feel it later.

In your daze, you nodded before realizing how ridiculous that was. This whole thing had your brain worked up. Not to mention there was practically a pool in your panties. "Y-Yes, Matt. Yes, I do. Okay? Is that what you want to hear?"

His smile was dangerous. "You seem a little frustrated, honey." Slowly, his hands moved down to your thighs where they just stopped. Didn’t move, didn’t flinch. He held your thighs so casually.

You let out an involuntary groan. "You’re being a tease, Matthew."

"A tease?" He asked, his voice dripping with faux innocence. "I haven’t even done anything."

"Yes," you said with an annoyed sigh, "that’s the point. You haven’t done anything. You just walk around here with this hands, running them over everything and I’m—,"

"Well, I need my use my hands."

"Yes, but—,"

"You’re not making much sense, sweetheart."

You’d had enough. You knew he could feel your frustration growing and growing and… You gave in. You slammed your lips with his before he could make any more smart-ass remarks. He was letting you get away with being so demanding but that was fine, you were taking it in as you moved your lips with his, grabbing at his hoodie, trying to pull him close as if he was a lifeline.

As you worked to deepen the kiss, without you even realizing what you were doing, your hips began to grind ever so slightly against Matt’s lap. Unlike you, he was well aware of everything going on and slowly began moving his hands to the place you needed them the most. Softly, he ran his thumb up and down your covered core. Your loungewear did little to conceal your arousal and Matt was overtly aware of it.

His thumbs pressed a little harder. You broke the kiss to let out a surprised gasp.

"Matt, please…" You begged. That stupid smirk seemed to be permanently etched on his face.

He sighed. "I know, sweetheart, I know."

A side of you wanted to argue that he didn’t know, couldn’t possibly know, but faster than the words could come out, one hand was down your pants, stroking your sopping core. You let out a wrangled cry at his touch. He wasted no time letting two fingers slip inside you while the palm of his hand worked on your clit. His other hand was still on your thigh, tracing soft mindless patterns. The contrast in touches had your brain reeling even more — if that was at all possible.

Forehead pressed against Matt’s, you let out a sigh at the revelation of finally being touched. Of him finally putting his hands to use. His fingers had set a slow but graceful pace inside you like Matt just wanted to feel you.

"F-Faster," you mumbled.

Matt let out a breathy laugh. "So many demands," he said. "So, so needy."

You whined at the borderline degrading words but couldn’t deny them. "Please, Matt. Please."

His fingers picked up the pace just a bit. He curled them as they went, hitting something deep and perfect within you. You let out a satisfied moan as Matt found the rhythm that made you fall apart. But, really, it wasn’t like that was hard to do at this point.

"Is that better?" He mocked.

You nodded, unable to find your voice now as his fingers brushed the sweet spot within your core. His palm followed the lead, stimulating your clit so skillfully. It felt like you had forgotten how good he was with his hands and were suddenly back into the woes of it all.

But just when you thought you were at that glorious edge, Matt slowed the pace back down, nearly stopping completely. Your eyes shot open, which surprised you a bit considering you didn’t remember closing them. But you couldn’t dwell on it long as you shot an angry look at your boyfriend.

"I need an answer, I need to hear you," he said. "Use your words, sweetheart." His fingers curled tightly before beginning the pumping motions again. With every word he spoke next, his palm pressed harder against you for emphasis. "Is that better?"

You squealed at the sudden motions. You were on a rollercoaster going from zero to a hundred in no time.

"Yes," you finally said, although your words came out more like a scream. "Yes, yes…"

Your chanting was maybe a bit pathetic but your mind was going blissfully blank once again as his fingers sped up. The hand on your thigh gripped you tighter as your hips subconsciously began to move against Matt’s hand. You were right there. You could feel it.

"Good," Matt said. You could hear the smirk on his lips. You hated and loved it. "Then you better come for me right now, sweetheart."

You didn’t have to be told twice. The flood gates had opened, metaphorically and, it felt, physically. There was no doubt in your mind Matt was hyperaware of everything. The only sounds in the apartment were both coming from you in different ways. You let out a loud moan as your body arched, riding out your high.

Matt was mumbling something but you couldn’t make it all out. It sounded like random sweet praises.

You knew he felt it all. Every spasm of your body, every twitch within you, how you squeezed his fingers… He was reveling in it as well.

As you were coming down, your hands fell to Matt’s shoulders and you fell forward, just about completely spent. You gripped him tightly as you came back to your senses. Unbelievable what one man and his talented hands could accomplish. He hadn’t even gotten you naked.

Matt removed his hand from your lounge pants before he broke the silence. "Was that…sufficient enough?"

"Sufficient?" You laughed. "Yeah, honey, I think that was very nice."

"Just nice?"

You kissed his lips gingerly. "A little bit more than nice."

It was his turn to kiss you. "Only a little?" His hands began tracing little patterns on your thighs once again. Your body was recovering quickly.

"I think we need one more go of it before I can definitively say."

Matt groaned and pulled you closer to him. There was no way for him to hide how much he enjoyed the idea. "You’re insatiable," Matt whispered against your lips. But the way he spoke and the movements of his hands told you he didn’t mind one bit.

[fivefriedtofu]

↳ ❝ ahoy there! ❞ | #thoma headcanons ; normal + modern au.

thoma w/ chubby cheeks? his fav petnames?? simp rambling??? & more!

ft. gn reader, the kamisato siblings, +1 bonus childe.

cw: none! completely sfw. only cringe romantic scenerios & maybe lots of mentions of kisses because i'm in love w/ him.

♡. edit: the link to the tiktok i added to the last headcanon (normal au) got deleted oh my god 😭

an: thoma go brrr. had to squeeze my brain like a powdered orange just so i could make this coherent enough to post.

i also wanna apologize if i've written some things that are suspiciously familiar to other works before. i only just noticed. i swear i don't know how it happens!! i've just never had an original thought i think _( ༎ຶ⌑༎ຶゝ∠)_ please forgive my sins.

pics: 🐶 🍡 🌿 (fun fact: the shiba's name is marutaro!!)

NORMAL AU!

we are married.

please consider... thoma with chubby cheeks.

irresistibly cute and soft.

ge ntly h olds... 🤲

the grannies at the market like to pull on them from time to time whenever he goes for groceries.

by the end of those days, he'd come home whining with aching cheeks.

"whining" i.e asking you for healing kisses? 🥺👉👈

he does not know how to swear.

thoma: "gee wilikers...", "oh to heck with it!", "gosh diddly darn it!"

ayato, tears in his eyes: pls,,, ju,,st say fuck,,

"he's a grown man with a job and pays taxes" ok maybe he does and just chooses not to BUT listen—

he says bejeebers in one of his voicelines 😭😭😭.

a cheesy romantic, the type to greet you with hand kisses. however ☝️👀

turn the tables and kiss his hands and he'll be reduced to mush.

secretly it's actually one of his favorite places for smooches. such hardworking hands, they deserve all the loving, don't they?

speaking of favorites, his favorite nicknames!

pretty boy, my prince, handsome — casually, politely, LOVINGLY he will pass away.

to be fair, he's a sucker for any sort of praise you give him but something about being called those just makes him feel so special.

BECAUSE HE IS. MUMUMU BESO MUUUWAH—

he makes me feel so soft and happy, he's like the song 'cloud 9' but personified.

this goes with any genshin character, but i'm a thoma simp. just,,, p,, please just imagine.

let me tell you, as a short person, i started screaming. rolled around my bed even, clutched my phone to my chest. at this age of mine. absolutely no shame, embarrassing ✋.

MODERN AU!

modern! thoma would probably enjoy the waitress musical.

his fav songs are 'what baking can do' and 'you matter to me.'

cried the first time he listened to the latter. cried again the next time he listened to it. they... were emotional days 😔.

enjoys musicals in general.

thoma/kamisato siblings theater kids canon i'm the left shoe of one of hyv's soundtrack artists.

he likes listening to them whenever he does chores and ends up singing along when he gets really into it.

doesn't really have the best singing voice, but he doesn't care. all that matters is that he's having fun 💪 king mentality.

and if you, as his s/o, decide to sing along with him ESPECIALLY IF IT'S A LOVE SONG DUET— shee, he just might propose to you then and there.

idk why but i feel like he'd be a swiftie. loves almost every one of her songs but lives for her 2010 era songs. gets so hyped for sparks fly.

his favorite animal crossing character is goldie and i will die on that.

i think he'd be a horror fan. specifically for spooky folklores and cryptids.

(based on that one voiceline of his - thoma's hobbies. also occasionally, he'll utter 'spooky stories...' if he's in your teapot.)

his youtube feed reccomends stuff like 'creepy urban legends from around the world' or 'inazuma's terrifying monster stories.'

when he's not in the mood to listen to music, he lets those vids play in the background instead.

thoma just vibing in his apron and cleaning gloves, waxing and polishing the floor with earphones in, listening to horror podcasts.

he is ANNOYING if he ever gets in a playful mood before going to bed.

both of you could just be peacefully cuddling, innocently talking about whatever until you fall asleep when he'll suddenly bring up a scary story he just learned. and as a result, ends up scaring you a bit.

too creeped to sleep now, you give his chest a soft smack, whining his name.

but then he just laughs! 😡 he's quick to apologize, but he's still laughing!!

as if pulling you in closer against himself, burying your face in his neck, and nuzzling into you will easily let that slide — nah, scoot away from his mean ass. ignore how he whines for you to come back.

he rolls across the bed and follows you. immediately wraps himself around you once he reaches where you placed yourself by the edge.

"noo, 'm sorry." he mumbles, lips brushing against your skin, you could feel him smile. "i'm sorry."

he sighs then plants a kiss against your temple. "here. this way no monsters will get you."

like an inconvenienced cat, you huff, burying your face into his chest. "cringe."

...

you turn back up and quickly press a kiss on his collarbone, before shoving your face back to where it hid.

ok but on the topic of the waitress musical, 'never ever getting rid of me' gives me huge childe vibes.

sorry if this ain't much, i'm fighting demons (ง｡•╭╮•｡)ง​ plus school just started.

[damaincharacterrr]

Dream Girl Ry-Ry Ultimate Daily Routine���🦋🍄💗✨

THE GOAL IS: self-improvement and personal glowup. When you glowup, wealth often comes along with it.

May this month be filled with good vibes, better experiences, bigger goals, more happiness, conscious manifestations, positive thinking, healthier body, and a more focused mind. 😝🌺💗

“For the next 30 days, i want you to choose one desire (self concept, sp, appeareance, ...) , pick 3-4 affirmations, one affirmation should start with « why ... » and the other with « i know that .. » and repeat them for 10 minutes everyday & keep going with your mental diet. This is to keep your affirmations as your dominant thoughts. NO REACTING TO THE 3D! cmon it’s just 30 days.” (-not my words; got this from another post a while ago & and copied into my notes so @ the creator if you know them💕)

For lil motivation:

go watch the hot pink saweetie glow vid (on quotes page)

read new path essay

Morning Checklist 😁🌤 :

wake up at 8:00 (or at least wake up 2 hours before you gotta leave to go out to have a more relaxed morning and avoid rushing)

DON’T LAY DOWN IN THE BED AFTER YOU WAKE UP so you can maximize my hours in the day and amount of sunlight I have available.

Start the morning with good vibes and positive thinking🌺 🍄 💛 (15-20 min)

write down dream if you remember it

get outta bed + open the blinds

put on some music to jam to

slowly drink a glass of water &/or fruit-infused water

enjoy the sun & music + sing to plants

make your bed so it looks all nice and done up

do some morning soft stretches

smile in the mirror + say morning affirmations

do some journaling

do some full body exercises/stretches (5 min)

Now it's time to start getting cute and smelling good for the day☺️🍰🍒🤍(30-45 minutes)

bathroom time

the goal: clean moisturized skin touched with body glitter + sparklin teeth w/ fresh breath + perfumed skin

dental routine

shower routine

skin care routine

moisturize face & body

deodorant + perfume + silk robe

bathroom check

Let’s get all dressed up 👚 🛍 💗(30 - 45 min)

head to my room

re-check the weather

get dressed + put on accessories

daily look: stylish & feminine fit w/ cute accessories + healthy, moisturized hair & slayed wigs + neat nails & toes + fluffy lashes + shaped brows

put on makeup for the day

natural makeup routine: glowy skin, fluffy lashes, white liner on bottom lashes, sharp eyeliner, red blush, highlighter and plump glossy lips with lip liner, finished w/glitter setting spray (+ maybe a cute small gem or heart or star)

fix up hair

make sure of all bag essentials

take outfit flick

room check

Time of mental and physical nutrition 🍓🥐🤎✨ (10-20 minutes)

head to the kitchen / dining room

have a nice nurturing breakfast with tea

take vitamins

do some morning journaling

listen to a podcast or tedtalk or have a good read

complete a lesson on the duo lingo app or play brain games

leave house (or not leaving the home: follow to a fuller extent & start next checklist after the day’s activity like after meeting etc)

Things to do on the go and dream girl reminders 📣🦋💕

hold you head high w/ a model walk

arrive on time

stand up straight & sit proudly

smile more even your mask on

use positive language

make good first impressions

make eye contact while in convo

give compliments / make people smile

say no when you need to

politely ask someone to repeat statement if you didn’t hear

stay hydrated & drink water

keep lip moisturizer & glossed

read through motivational quotes

study / prepare for school

go over handbook

play brain games

Afternoon Checklist😝🌸💜:

say hi to everyone

wash hands

brings stuff to room

take outfit flick(if necessary)

NO NAPS & NO SITTING ON THE BED. sit in the chair or go sit in the living room.

NO SOCIAL MEDIA or TV until you finish your school work - those people already got their education and money. Now it’s your turn. Plus all the stuff ain’t going anywhere. Okay?🤍

put on house clothes

get something to eat

bring down a load of clothes (if needed)

take care plants

put on some incense

get some water to drink

Diys Monday: do at least one diys project each week

Business Tuesday: work on everything for business

Whatever Wednesday: choose anything (which includes choosing nothing)

Art Thursday: work on an art project

Fashion Saturday: pick out 1 fashion pieces you want to make & make it or do whatever is needed for store

Self-care Sunday: face masks, nail care, chill music, watching movies and stuff to relax before the new week comes

Get ready to hit the books🔑💕

clear up / distraction proof work space

plan upcoming activities

check calendar & to-do list

Time to be productive🖇🤍✨

do some studying or project in Pomodoros w/ Focus for 25 or 35 min & Break for 5 or 10 min. Do Four Pomodoro in total

permit test

holistic medicine + nutrition

fashion design + fabric

business + finances

beauty + cosmetics

arts & creations

film production

history + current events

write down what got done, what didn’t get done and follow up tasks

do some full body exercises/stretches

do your hair care routine (if needed)

bathroom check

do some free time activities & go back to studying or project

Night Checklist😌🌙✌🏾:

⚪️start at 8:30

dental routine

skin care routine

shower routine

bathroom check

do any beauty treatment

facial structure massages

apply Vaseline to your eyes, lashes, brows, and lips before bed

lightly clean up room (10 mins)

set up breakfast & snacks

make fruit-infused water &/ or meal shakes

make sure bag is set

create a to-do list for tomorrow (if needed)

check the weather

choose outfit(s) for tomorrow

calculate getting ready time & travel time to know when to wake up and/or to start getting ready for tomorrow activities

have a cup of tea

write in journal

set alarms

charge phone & other tech

clean phone screen with rubbing alcohol/sanitizer

do some journaling

breathing exercises

⚪️go to previous checklist if you start or finish early & stop at 10:30

pray

read something nice & positive until you fall asleep

⚪️bedtime: 10 o'clock (no later then 11)

[starrsfics]

I'll Burn Your Name into my Throat

Yandere!Ryan Ezrahler x Gn!reader

i wrote this listening to Caraphernelia by PTV :) if you guys like this ill def write a part two w/ smut ;).

Warnings: Yandere!Ryan, death, jealousy, gore, blood, non consented touching, slight stockholm syndrome, violence, only proofread once.

1.3k words.

He was mad. Watching you with him made his blood boil. You were his. Why were you anywhere near that disgusting man. Ryan quite liked Dylan. Really, he did. But that was before he saw him being so affectionate with you. HE should be there, touching you, making you feel safe. Not him.

He was sitting down far enough so you and Dylan wouldn't notice him. He had been doing this for a while actually. He was barely even paying attention to his podcast anymore. All he wanted was for Dylan to be gone. Away from him. Away from his sweet, perfect (y/n). Ryan watched as Dylan finally walked away from you. He sighed in relief, admiring your perfection from afar. You were too good for Dylan, he doesn't deserve you. The thought of Dylan made Ryan absolutely sick to his stomach. Seeing him caress you while you rubbed his back so gently. He couldn't take it much longer.

BANG.

He punched the tree. He was expressionless. He retrieved his it from the rough, rigid bark and watched as blood dripped from his knuckles. Nothing. He felt nothing. No pain. He needed you to feel something. ANYTHING. Without you? He was worthless. He had a plan, though. A plan to get rid.. of the.. problem.

You and Dylan were laughing as he took the whipped cream from his ice cream and put it on your nose. "Dylan! You're the worst!" you giggled, wiping off the sticky sweet from the tip of your nose. "Hey Dylan, can I talk to you?" Ryan asked while flashing you a quick smile. You thought Ryan was a really cool person! He was one of the best counselors at Hackett's Quarry actually. Although you two didn't talk much, you thought you and he got along pretty well. You wondered what he was going to ask Dylan.

He saw you two together. Yet again. This time you two were laughing together. He knew Dylan liked you. He knew you liked him. Why wouldn't you? Dylan is more sociable than he was. Much more likeable. Seeing you two bonding was such a heavy weight on his back. He couldn't wait to get rid of Dylan. Once. And. For. All.

You started to get worried. You checked your watch. 11:09. It has been three hours since Ryan took Dylan away. You got up from your seat and left the cafeteria. "Dylan? Dylan where are you?" You looked around the camp. His cabin? Nope. The lake? No. The bathrooms? Wrong again. There was one place you hadn't checked yet.. The forest. No way. No way Dylan would be there. Why would he go into a dark, creepy forest so late at night? You decided to go check anyways.

"Dylan? Are you out here?" you called out for him. You shone your flashlight around these unfamiliar surroundings. Suddenly, you heard the sound of twigs snapping near a specific tree. It had a perfect view of the camp. You inspected the tree. Blood. There was blood on the tree. "Dylan.. Dylan please! Where are you!?" you called out again. You looked behind the tree and saw a strange figure on the ground. "What is that..?" you whispered to yourself. "Dylan..? Is that y-" you cut yourself off with a loud scream as you flashed light on the unknown shadow, revealing that it was in fact Dylan. He was dead. "What the fuck! Dylan! Oh my god!" you ran to his body. His eyes were gouged out. His throat was slit and blood was dripping from his chest.

"(Y/n).. (y/n).. my love. I did this for you.." You turned around to see Ryan. He was holding something. A heart. Not one you draw from paper, it was a real, human heart. Your eyes widened at the sight of his bloody hands. "What.. what the fuck." you were gonna be sick. "Why the hell are you holding that Ryan? What the hell is wrong with you?! You did this to him?!" you yelled at him in anger as tears fell down your cheeks. He bent down to get a better view of your face. That beautiful face. The fear in your eyes was so fucking perfect. He loved the way you looked as tears filled your (e/c) eyes. He reached out to cup your face and you slapped his hand away. "(y/n).. do you not get that I did this because I love you? Everything I ever do is for you!" He grabbed your wrist tightly. "Tell me you love me baby.. please.." he begged. You struggled as you tried to free yourself from his grip. "Let me go Ryan! I fucking hate you. Get the fuck away from me you sick fuck!" you kicked him in the stomach and he flew backwards.

You pushed him. What the fuck. This was not supposed to be how it went. You tried to get up and run away, but you were too slow. He grabbed your wrist again and pushed you to the tree while pinning your hand above your head. You winced in pain as your head hit the tree. "You're hurting me.. Please.. Please leave me alone." you sobbed. "Oh darling, I would never hurt you if you didn't deserve it! I love you. Please, just say it back!" he said looking at you with maniac eyes. You were absolutely terrified of him. "I-I.. I love y-you.. Ryan." Those were the words he had longed for. Since the very moment he laid eyes on you. Ryan leaned down and kissed you softly. You didn't kiss back, but he did not care. "I'd do anything for you (y/n)! I hope you know that."

Your heart was racing, but not from the kiss. The way he said your name was horrifying.

When you woke up, your hands and legs were tied to a chair. You had no idea where the hell you were. the last thing you remember was falling asleep. Then it hits you. Dylan is gone. "Ryan..?" you called out. "Baby! You're finally awake! How do you feel?" he walked out from the shadows. His eyes were no longer.. crazy. "Do you need anything? Ill get you anything you want (y/n)." he was so attentive.. it was quite.. sweet? "Thirsty.." you whispered. "Do you want some water darling? Sure thing! I'll be right back." Your eyes followed him up the stairs and he was gone. You tried freeing yourself and managed to get one of your hands loose. Then with that loose hand, you freed yourself completely. You didn't know how much time you had left until Ryan came back so you hid behind some boxes.

"(Y/n)! I have your wat-.. where did you go?" he looked around anxiously. You couldn't have possibly.. left? Right? He grew impatient. "(Y/n) I don't have time for your fucking games!" he yelled. You flinched at the sudden loud noise and accidentally knocked over a picture frame. Fuck. Ryan snapped to face in your direction and he slowly approached you. He grabbed your smaller figure and smashed it against the wall. "Don't try to leave me darling. You are never getting rid of me now. You can't just throw me away!" his eyes were crazy again. You were whimpering in fear. One second he is being so attentive and gentle with you. The next, he's grabbing your wrist and throwing you against a wall. He was unpredictable. One of the many qualities that made him insanely scary. "Ryan.. please.. I love you.." you said not wanting to be hurt anymore. He was surprised at your words. He didn't ask you to do that.. maybe you really did love him.

"I am glad you do baby! I love you too. Now please, stop trying to run away from me.. you know I only want what's best for you." you gave him a faint smile, trying to please him since there was no chance of escaping now. He hugged you tightly and kissed your forehead.

"I'll burn your name into my throat, (y/n)."