#but i genuinely think its so obvious now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

haveihitanerve · 1 month ago

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Rewatched Far From Home the other day and gotta say- also if you havent seen it- spoilers ahead-

- knowing what I do about Fury and Peter and Tony and everyone that I didn't the first time around- its so obvious to me now that Fury is not actually Fury. Because Fury talks to Tony like… frequently. They’re good friends. Father-son. If it was really Fury, he would have probably remembered Beck from one of his and Tony’s chats- a dude who invented his therapy tech that he then fired for being unstable is probably not something Tony doesn't share. Also, Fury never talks someone down- especially not a teenager. Not to that degree at least. Hes a little harsh, sure. And he doesn't mince his words. But he doesn't criticize. And he doesn't lash out. (also he measures his words. Dude impersonating him spoke wayyy too much. Fury is more careful with everything he says) And when Beck said “fury sent me up here to talk to you, he felt bad” i seriously believed that shit because it is something Fury would do. Anyway maybe its all just hindsight speaking now that I know its not really him but yeah.

The only thing is the star wars reference and his threat to shoot the next person who interrupts him and peter. That was something i could actually see Fury doing.

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solivagantingrebel · 2 months ago

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hey guys who wants another round of tmi

#ive been #this entire day has been a lot and i have no idea how to feel about it #i've never cried this much in an entire day and i can't stop myself from tearing up but it's not because of something sad or traumatic i'm #not used to being loved. or appreciated. or meant to feel like i belong anywhere. i've struggled with being excluded and ostracized and it #has been an uphill battle for a long time and deep down despite my many attempts to heal and get better i've always felt like something was #fundamentally wrong with me. it has been wrong with me from the start and whatever evidence to the contrary ive gotten was rationalised awa #by fluke or maybe people like me because of what i can provide and what i can do for them and not because of who i am and who i am will #always be tolerated or ignored at best and i genuinely was not expecting anyone but a few close friends to care about this and just. andjus #i think something in me is healing and it's still hard to accept but i can conceptualize it and any negative thought in my brain is being #countered by “hey why would you think that when people care about you” and i know it is obvious right. its something i should know but it #has always been so hard to believe that anyone would and the fact that it's hitting right now? i cant fucking stop crying #its almost fucking embarrassing im like this. im a grown ass adult. why the fuck am i still crying like this. i fucking hate trauma man #keeps making me feel like im that kid who was never loved in the ways that mattered. sorry im just #thankful. grateful. i feel like some parts of that gaping wound is stitching itself together and i cant stop crying and for once im not #crying because i'm being hurt. i'm just grateful to be here. genuinely fucking grateful that i'm alive #funny isnt it. how much love can save you if you let it #tmi #rant #embarrassed myself enough i think #sorry about that we'll go to our regularly scheduled ghoap program soon enough #i'll be okay

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nagitosstolenhand · 1 year ago

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couldnt get this silly stupid crackship idea out of my head. doodle.

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godsfavoritescientist · 2 years ago

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Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

#ford meta #actuallyautistic #everyone go read the wikipedia page for 'stilted speech' right now #long post #ford isnt very good at masking. he doesn't have the kind of (unintentional) autistic coding that is Palatable To Neurotypicals.#definitely looking-too-deeply-at-a-kid-cartoon right now but in *some* ways. a world where the majority of people think its easy to like an #-understand ford is a world that would feel safe for me to unmask in.#i truly truly hate that fully explaining my thoughts on ford requires me to say so much about myself. but god is it such a crime-#-to use a fictional character as a lens through which to try and explain to people how to be more understanding and accepting-#-of things like this.#making fun of stilted speech is so normalized that people don't even realize they're making fun of someone for being weird.#people think its Someone Thinking They're Better Than You but its something people lay awake at night wishing they could stop doing.#and yet they still end up using the Wrong Words and being labeled a Pretentious Asshole just for talking differently than the norm.#maybe there really are people out there who deliberately use big words to try and sound smarter than everyone else. I don't know.#all I know is. in a world where its pretty obvious that people who use a discongruently complex vocabulary get made fun of for doing that.#why would someone deliberately trying to impress people do something that would only get them laughed at.#sorry for being genuine on main. as if its my fault </3

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smute · 1 year ago

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big epiphany you guys. big. huge.

#cliffnotes for context: smute almost finish masters. smute think oh‚ maybe phd not crazy wacko shit‚ maybe i can try #but smute also low self esteem. with any small setback - smute think oh what is point. smute bound to fail #problem is: smute genuine self doubt = smute quotidian frustration #ok normal english now #so thats what i realized today. a lot of the ''small'' things i dream of (financial independence‚ a nice little apartment etc) are #expressions of some low level frustration with my nomadic broke student life #rather than genuine desires. and as dumb or as #duh #obvious as that may sound rn #its actually huge for me that i was able to recognize the difference today #this question of what i will do after i graduate has been haunting me for the past year #and i am now realizing that a lot of my own arguments have nothing to do with what i want #just because they're things i don't currently have doesn't mean they would be fulfilling #and #again. duh.#but like. between this debilitating self doubt and certain external pressures 🤨 it was hard to see the difference #anyway i basically just explored some alternative scenarios today #like specific scenarios. went on indeed found some really good stuff and tried to imagine my life a year from now if i took this or that jo #and the end result was that i fucking hated it. they were all great options on paper but the takeaway was that i would never forgive myself #if i didnt give this a try. if i prioritized some vague notion of independence or this idea of ''settling down'' or whatever the fuck #over the one thing that ive got going for me #like i still don't know if the academic path will be any more fulfilling than some other job #god knows my entire academic career so far has been an insane uphill battle. but it's also been so fucking rewarding. like nothing else #and i also still dont know how genuine this wish is #if it's not maybe still about proving myself to some imaginary authority #but like. how long can you psychoanalyze yourself before your goddamn head explodes #no matter how pure my motivation is im beginning to understand that i dont want this to be the end of the road #and maybe that's enough #&

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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God. One of my little sisters is such a bitch. She's done me some genuine damage in exacerbating my already social bad anxiety. But when I have dreams where she's been hurt or killed, it's so horrible bc she's still my lil sister :-(

#its bc last night my dad had a dream she was in a car wreck. he transferred that anxiety onto me #shes such a bitch tho.just like intolerant of things she doesnt understand. and she does not understand my unwell brain #i think she likes my youngest sistsr best now. which fair bc i do too but we used to be besties. we used to explore in the woods together #and play ellos and barbies and legos and poly pockets and magnets. and now we never text eachother. its sorta sad #its not just me tho. my youngest sister and i have a 4 year gap so we weren't really interacting much when were were little bc she was too #bby to me but shes such a genuinely lovely person now. shes a special ed and preschool teacher. i asked her mom how she ended up with both #of my sisters bc my middle sister is the most like entitled person i kno. like my parents r very generous and she doesnt think for a moment #about not accepthing things from them. she thinks shes owed that amd more. its so strange #and my mom was like. thank goodness i got the youngest bc otherwise id think something was wrong with me #im prob somewhere in the middle of them. my brain is just more fucked up so like im greatful but im struggling. theres not a ton of like #really obvious mental illness in my family tho. just here and there someone should b diagnosed and get a bit of help. my uncle is the only #other one who could possibly be bipo1ar but hes also got a lot of problems: severe adhd and possibly b0rderline. so it could just b that but #my dad says when u talk to him sometimes things just doent make sense bc hes had convos in his head wuth you so he thinks u kno already #idk. its interesting tho #unrelated

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courfee · 6 months ago

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just went through all my ao3 fics and edited all the tags because i feel like i overtag a lot and it always bothered me. tbf the most overtagging happens in my relationship/character tags but i find it super difficult to judge who/which relationship is important. like friendships are So Important in my fics i dont feel like i cant tag less there? especially my longer fics. amtc james&sirius and black brothers are in my mind at least if not more important than literally amtc jegulus. i know its a jegulus fic but also jegulus is just the catalyst for other relationship dynamics. how do you tag that stuff

#honestly same with operation wanker #i finally put the wolfstar tag at the end of the relationship list #because genuinely when i first wrote the fic i debated leaving that out completely because i just do not focus on them At All #but considering theyre the very reason for the whole fic i couldnt not tag them #but james and sirius in operation wanker are as important to me as jegulus #and they go through a similar plot line of developing and changing so ?? yk???#idk how to tag i am really bad at it honestly #as you can tell i have exam season #hence me doing anything but the things i should be doing #hp #fic rant #i need a tag for general ramblings #i did take out a lot of character tags in a lot of my fics #like in some of them i literally now have a relationship tag but not the character tag which im also still not sure at #like on lies and spies still has the peter&marlene tag but it doesnt have a marlene tag anymore #and im still debating if i should also take the relationship tag out but also its important for peters actions??? idkkk man i am bad at thi #took out a lot of tags from amtc because i just felt it was too long overall #like i do think they were not completely unimportant but it was such a wall of text i felt a bit overwhelmed #tagging fics where its literally just 2 characters and theyre romantically/sexually involved is so much easier #like on high delight the tags make perfect sense because its very obvious what the focus is on #but i so seldomly write fics that are confined to just a ship (/) dynamic #maybe this is my arospec that ive been eyeing for the past 10 years and keep ignoring showing #i just care about writing relationships (&) so much more honestly #ok thats actually a lie im not tooo good with just platonic fics but i like writing romantic stuff in the context of friendgroups #i like characters having to keep secrets from the people they usually tell evrything to #love exploring characters finding out they have friendship boundaries they previously didnt know about #love writing about trust and and conflicting feelings and having to make choices #also lmao very iconic of me to have 5km of tags on a post of me saying i am prone to overtagging. really proving my own point here

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carsickcrow · 8 months ago

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still having art thoughts but not actively making art so i will ramble into the void some more. i really like the way i’ve begun to think about my art in the past few months. i feel like i used to be solely focused on “getting better” at art which is. not a bad thing but now i feel like i’m using art as a way to explore ideas more and it’s just really fun and works with how my brain works and i want to do this for the rest of my life. also along with that like making art with meaning behind it point i’ve actually started titling my pieces which used to be a struggle and still is sometimes but i think i’m getting the hang of it. i’ve already named a piece i’ve barely started. anywho. i love art sm

#remy rambles #i’m calling my hand/star tapestry piece stigmata / spark of creation. both of those titles? i think? cause like.#its not obvious that it’s meant to be inspired by the idea of stigmata so titling it that makes that clear and then spark of creation as #like a play off of like spark of creativity but using creation instead to tie back to the idea of divinity/holiness with the stigmata #so like. its a little sacrilegious but. i am a sucker for religious imagery and i can be a little blasphemous as a treat.#though with like. my use of religious symbolism in my art..it’s not like purely being edgy about christianity it’s more like repurposing #some ideas and visuals originating from it and tying it back to my own personal view of the world and what i could maybe call my religion?#although i don’t like defining my beliefs it makes me anxious. i do think so many things could be seen as divine such as making art #and the art i make related to those ideas comes from a very genuine place and i think a positive one much of the time #idk if any of that made sense. can you guys tell i had a weird relationship with the idea of god growing up. and now #remy rambles about art

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jakeyp · 1 year ago

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i just saw a set from a gifmaker i really admire that is very clearly a copy of a set i made and i don't know what to do 😭

#its just one gif but the whole concept makes it obvious #like man i always complain about this and even the ones i like do this #and its not a new set so i think it would be awkward if i brought it up just now #anyway genuinely this hurts a lot people please give credit!!

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asummersday · 2 years ago

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local author is absolutely obsessed with raph and leo's relationship following the end of season 2 and is making it everyone's problem, more at 11!

#theyre so fascinating to me #let me pull up my notes on them so i can ramble like a crazy person in the tags #heres the thing. raph is the eldest sibling. its his job to keep his little brothers safe #and hes been the leader their whole lives. like they were clearly allowed to do whatever they wanted with little parental supervision #so it would be the most obvious and natural choice for the oldest to be the leader #and like clearly the others are on board (at least during canon events)#and leos the most supportive of raph and his leadership out of all of them. constantly hyping him up. even calling on mind raph #because leo trusts raphs judgement (more than his own id go so far as to say tbh)#(i genuinely believe that leo has always looked up to raph since they were very young.)#so i think leo would see him being promoted to leader as undeserved. unearned. it belongs to raph because hes always been there for them.#(~impostor syndrome babey)#meanwhile raph is struggling to find where he belongs on the team now that hes not the leader #i think raph would have liked to have someone guide him through being leader because its HARD!!! ur choices can and WILL have consequences #so hes trying to be that for leo. he tries to be there the way no one was there so that leo doesnt struggle the way raph did #and also its a good way to ignore having to process how HE feels about the demotion #bc it was so unexpected there would obviously be feelings of guilt and self-doubt and 'was i good enough'#and obviously raph isnt going to tell his brothers how hes struggling to find his place on the team now #because hes the oldest and the oldest sibling is the shoulder to lean on. not there to dump their insecurities on their little siblings #the problem is that leo isnt raph #and raph is so focused on helping leo and not dealing with his own stuff that he forgets that.#i think raph sees himself as the leader of the team and the smashy guy. the powerhouse #(i say that with the belief that raph is the HEART of the team btw. only he doesnt know that lmao)#leo himself is also projecting a little onto raph. like i really do believe he thinks raph hates him for 'stealing' his role #(its bullshit but like. brains are dumb sometimes so)#leo seeks out validation but ESPECIALLY raph's validation (like donnie tbh)#to leo a leader is someone you can count on. and he doesnt see himself as reliable #rottmnt #ataimw #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo

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youvegotmailpdf · 1 year ago

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was scrolling on a taylor blog for fun taylor posts and saw the most heinous most factually incorrect most ‘all arabs are muslim terrorists’ pro israel take im seething with rage i have never ever seen anything so blatantly wrong and disgusting. i do it to myself by venturing outside my dash literally never again

#and the nasty victimization ‘u will never know what its like to have to bury your dead or have to hide from missiles’ so incredibly #deliberately tone deaf and ignorant. what do u think palestinians have been doing for the past 3 weeks. 70 years #(as well as other nearby countries but i digress) meanwhile this person also is safe and coddled at home watching tv lamenting closed theat #res bc of eras tour movie je jure this is batshit insane i genuinely didnt think ppl could be so. well whatever peace n love on planet earth #ok wait no im not done u get to bury your dead in dignified ways with funerals and traditional rites and MORE than enough sympathy to mourn #them meanwhile palestinians stick theirs in ice cream freezers (if they can find the whole body that is) AND they have to showcase it in #absolutely dehumanizing ways to prove that THEY deserve sympathy and humanity like this is morally depraved do you see the difference #(and god obviously any death is absolutely terrible im not contesting that. but one of them is dealt with much much more differently like th #difference between both ‘sides’ is so glaringly obvious and insane and inhumane its just appalling to see people still go OKAY WHAT ABOUT ME #AND MY TRAUMA. LOOK AT ME #anyway okay peace n love fr this time going to scroll on MY blog now🥳

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salsflore · 2 years ago

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going to sleep soon ～ let me get some things off my chest here.... my eyes are super itchy again (fell into the trap of snuggling my cat even when i swore i wouldn't do it again)

#cw vent #this is bc i have a math exam tmrw I’M SORRYYY i feel some kind of way about that #this is the first exam where i am near confident i will fail. and its just kinda sucky #my mental maths is really poor and due to the fact i skipped grades (unable to afford Education) i don’t know a lot of things my peers know #my results as they are right now? theyre genuinely ok. not bad. but theres still gaps made by the years of missing out on school #this is one of them #its so embarrassing having my classmate look at me weirdly when i ask her about something that should totally be obvious or #something silly like that. i don’t know. its especially hard for me to be interested in maths because my old maths teacher has #literally fucked me up i’m so intimidated by every math teacher ever and i just hate the feeling of being stupid or whatever #i don’t enjoy being comforted by A+ students bc theyre like cmonn its totally fine!! i relate i got a 39/40 :(#or my friends who make jokes about how stupid i am and its just aghhh #its already been almost a year since ive enrolled in school again but i still feel so out of place #so miserable i could just die #so miserable i think i SHOULD die #and i'm just nervous about getting an absolute 0. failing my first test made me want to literally kill myself #sorry for being dramatic but when you have a sister whos awards and certificates fill your house shelf its kind of like........#aghhhh!!!! maybe i should just accept that i'm good for nothing at all!!!!!!#not that great with numbers or formulas. probably not that great at writing either. nor am i as eloquent as i'd like to be ～#not artistically inclined. science is a bore. not ~ naturally ~ adept with neither languages nor history! psychology! economics! sports!#forgive me for not being able to do anything good at all ... zzz

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suddenrundown · 2 years ago

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me reading one salt sea: oh my god connor go away

connor: *fucking dies*

me: oh no im--that’s not what i meant

#ok hot take: connor didnt deserve to die and he also didnt deserve the weight of ''important character dying''#he isn't important To Me like genuinely i tried so hard to care about connor but i never did. possibly because he has no personality #beyond ''was in love with toby and still is''#and then he dies and toby's sad and im ike ok well.....moving on now #i feel very uncharitable about this but i cant help it sorryyyyyyyy #lol the ludaig really told toby ''he isn't worth your tears'' and im like SHE IS SO RIGHT THO HE REALLY ISN'T #ALSO DID CONNOR REALLY HAVE TO DIE TO MAKE WAY FOR TYBALT TIME AS IF HE WASN #'T THE MOST OBVIOUS CHOICE OF LOVE INTEREST THE ENTIRE GOD DAMN TIME HELLO?#I HAVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS #it sucks actually like thanks i hate it #in the meantime toby and tybalt have kissed twice (i think? maybe 3 idk) both of which were initiated without toby consenting or whatever #which i think is because author ma'am wants tybalt to be a bad boy but he actually isn't?? and he's such a gentleman in every other regard #what the hell is up with that mcguire? it sucks! it sucks #like its fine its played off as hot or whatever and she's into it because she's in love with him and has been since book 2 but it sucks #and this is the hill im willing to die on

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j-esbian · 10 months ago

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it’s all good to say everyone should have public holidays off, but what about when you want to go to the movies on that holiday because now you don’t have to work? what if it’s presidents’ day and you need groceries? what if you need medical attention but it’s flag day? what if you need childcare, for any reason, on mlk day?

essential workers are some of the most overworked among us and deserve relief as much as anyone else but it’s just not enforceable for everyone to get every holiday off

#when my mom worked at a hospital they would trade off holidays. you work thanksgiving and then it’s someone else’s turn to work christmas #genuine question because i see this a lot and i have yet to see someone include it in their proposal #what is the proposal that keeps essential service workers in mind #and you can’t just say ‘we’ll make an exception for them’ bc think about like. little caesar’s mascot guy was apparently ‘essential’#it doesn’t even need to be dire. that’s why i mentioned like. movies and retail yknow #like no judgement but be honest. you would still do things on your day off that require work!!#this past labor day i had off. went to my friends house and they ordered pizza. someone else DIDNT have that day off #and that is FINE like we live in a society but that also means that we depend on each other more than you realize yknow #feels like this kind of talk only focuses on office jobs and ppl who work in healthcare/retail/education/etc are not thought of #when they’re already experiencing labor shortages because so many people are burning out which in turn puts more strain on those who are led #left*#i’m not an expert. i have no idea how to address this. but its exclusion from the conversation feels GLARINGLY obvious #also $25/hr for only 24 hrs/week is the same as $15/hr for a 40 hr week #still not liveable anymore. although with a shorter work week i would actually have the time to get a second job #i’m just. tired of people rallying behind the 4-day workweek when they are very clearly coming from a salaried and/or nonessential job #of course WE can spare the time off. i work in manufacturing now and if i don’t get something done before the weekend it can wait #but who exactly is going to staff the hospital when it is already understaffed and you’re cutting everyone’s hours down #to clarify: i’m not saying ‘the four day workweek is untenable because it won’t work for everyone’#i’m saying ‘we need to talk about how to actually make it work for everyone’

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itsalwaysdark · 4 days ago

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to be honest i sometimes think maybe i dont even need my intro thing bc my posts make it pretty clear whats going on. but its still there LOL

#like i alreayd dont put my mental shit on there bc 1. idt thats safe* 2. i think most of its pretty obvious #*this is despite the fact that i talk openly abt it in my Actual posts so its like not rly a safety thing more of a idc and it feels weird #but genuinely like iiiiii think you can look at my posts and just kind of figure it out. ignore me literally just now rbing CPTSD fire text

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arsen1cs4ng0 · 8 months ago

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tbh i kinda hate how vosim's overtaken a lot of my life + identity and shit, and it hurts for me to say this

#this specific shit's been bothering me for months and i just want somewhere i can properly vent about it #but. um. i wanna share a little secret with you guys. vosim (jink) talks to me sometimes #mostly incoherent stuff (random babbling + usually just repeating shit like ''deedee i'm scared') but sometimes he'll tell me things #its been like this since 2022 i think??? its become more prominent this year however #he can say really nasty stuff sometimes and it makes me feel scared and sad :o[#he'll be silent for days sometimes. and then next thing i know he's saying stuff again #a lot of the time its like hes on constant guard mode and i dont like it #there was a vosim before him that actually could ''speak through me''. i dunno how to describe it. he would kinda bleed into my thoughts???#vosim (jink)'s like. an anxious-er version of me??????? in the form of the guy himself????? i dunno #this shit's really been fucking with my identity so hard. i know im not a system cuz this shit hasnt happened before 2021 + they dont front #im sorry for venting about this shit (especially about a character that HELPED me before) but this has been fucking with me for months now #i dunno if this is like. me just hyperfixing or some shit. i do maladaptive daydream a lot so maybe its just me doing that #UGH IM PROBABLY SPOUTING NONSENSE RN UGHHHHH im probably talking out of my ass. ugh #this shit's been bothering me a lot tho and im genuinely confused and just. kinda scared #its 3am this shit probably wont matter tomorrow #sango hisses #not maintagging for obvious reasons #will probably delete later

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