#but i finished high school im an adult now who cheered

[sunkraken]

is anyone still here

[ere-the-sun-rises]

My mom is the type who was a cheerleader (both in high school and professionally for a short period for a local football team) and would scream-cheer at any sports game she attends. She was super popular and fashionable in high school and has a degree in economics. She has worn makeup since she was ten.

Perhaps intended to be the moment her villain arc began, she had three daughters who do not share these interests. She described us, in her own words, as "being into that nerd shit." To illustrate this, we would raptly watch a show on Canadian television called "How It's Made" which would run through the manufacture of any number of items each episode with a gentle narration. We would literally run to watch this show.

We are also all neurodivergent (though I am convinced our mother is too). So, yes - villain origin material if I have ever seen it.

But she raised us really well, and we never once felt that we couldn't tell her about things we were interested in. We were really close when we were kids and just as close now we're all adults.

I know this is a silly post, but I have a genuine answer to the question under the cut. Feel free to ignore it.

Her success at having kids who had such drastically different personalities came from a combination of things: honesty, indulgence, listening, incorporation, inquiry, sharing and boundaries.

So, my mom started by indulging us in things we wanted to do as little kids, especially things she also liked to do. For instance, if she was painting a room or a mural (she always wanted to be an artist and is really good at it), she would buy cheap watercolour paints from the dollar store and let us paint over old newpaper in the same room as her. Even though she wasn't doing it with us, we were still included in what she was doing.

As we got older, she would include us in chores she was doing (we would "swim" in the clean laundry after our baths while she ran loads, and she would dump new stuff from the dryer over our heads) and would tell us about stuff she liked. She was constantly redecorating and repainting, so she would ask us to pick out colour tiles in the hardware store that we liked and bring them to her (even though she never used them). If it was for our own rooms, she would come to a compromise with us on the colour (one we liked that she could live with). She would ask our opinions about innocuous thinga like drape length or the colour/style of curtain rods despite the fact we did not give a damn.

As we got older, this would progress into us sharing more extensive interests, like gaming and books. She would take us to retailers to look at stuff even if we didn't buy anything, but she would let us talk her ear off about stuff. She would let us choose shows to watch or play games on the main tv to "have something on in the background" and just absorb details by osmosis. In fact, she got into Death Note because she was painting the living room while my sisters were watching it and got invested. She still asks to finish it every couple months.

She encouraged us to pursue our own interests and do the things we liked. I spent a lot of my preteen and teen years reading fantasy books and non-fiction about Ancient Egypt and Greece. Who knows how many hours of her life I've taken up rambling about ancient Mediterranean societies (which is my major now, but I digress) or mermaids and dragons. She would tell us, when we could tell she didn't get it or wasn't interested, that "it doesn't matter whether or not I like it - you do, and it makes me happy to hear you talk about something you love."

And lastly, she never pretended something was more interesting to her than it was, and she was gentle but firm when she had had enough. For instance, my middle sister is im school for medicine and comes home with cool and gross facts about the human body, diseases and such a lot. My mom will listen to the more clinical details (this muscle connects here, which does this, etc) but draws the line at things she finds upsetting or just gross. She will cut us off or wave her hands and be done with discussing something. We can do the same back to her if she's discussing something we no longer want to talk about.

That's the key - mutual standards. Both parent and kid exchanged interests and understood/were taught that there is value in engaging with the other's interests even if they are boring. We would spend time together, even if it was doing different things, and let each other have separate interests without judgement. We can also disengage if we're really uncomfortable or not interested.

I couldn’t have kids because what if I didn’t vibe with the kid. What if the nerd genes somehow passed them and they were really into sports and I had to sit at the ballpark in 85° weather and watch them swing at a baseball over and over again? What if they really liked Disney and their favorite Disney princess was one of the really boring ones? What if they grew up to be an investment banker and expected me to listen to them talk about their job and be proud? I’d still love them I’m sure but I think wasting years of my life entertaining my normcore child would be so sad. I don’t think these things would happen because I think I’m only capable of spawning freaks but I’m not going to tempt fate. My parents are so lucky that I like classic literature, antiques, cheesy movies and history just like them. What if I had been normal? Nightmare.

[tobi-momo]

nobody seemed to hear us, but we said it.

PROLOGUE | MASTERLIST | CHAPTER 02

— synopsis. back from Miyagi for a simple month, a welcome back party reignites the one relationship he wasn’t expecting. yours. it was obvious you hadn’t forgotten about what happened in high school, neither did he, but maybe he could mend the relationship back together. could he?

— warnings. cursing | drinking | implications of smoking (not from any of the characters, not depicted either) | kinda poor writing

— word count. 1.3k+

The alcohol was boring. The bitter taste of the IPA he took occasional sips of made his tongue sour and his eyes squint in annoyance. Everyone around him had been enjoying the event a lot more than him, he could see from the blaring music and the dancing and the shot-taking in the background of it all. It was boring. It was all so boring.

He nonchalantly shook girls off of his arm as they try to prop their breasts up and caress his bicep, “just wanting to dance”, and he rolled his eyes at the comments that his teammates (Koganegawa) throw at him, telling him he needs to lighten up, or he just needs to drink a little more to loosen out a bit.

“C’mon, Tsukki, just one dance?” A random girl had pleaded while hanging off his arm. Her lip poked out in a pout and her cheeks were red from the alcohol, but there was nothing in her eyes. He wondered if he had missed the gleam of desire or the sharp tint of lust in her pupils, but one glance confirmed that she just wanted to be with somebody for the night. He figured she was probably lonely, something he would never admit to.

“I’m good.” He returned his sights to the wall in front of him, half-covered in bouncing people and red Dixie cups being held in tight hands. He felt her hand slack down and her eyes roll, a grunt of irritation seeping into his hearing as she left. It was probably for the better, though.

He looked around briefly, only seeing his teammates either jumping around—Kyoutani, who grumped on the chair across the room—or people he had never seen in his life that just wanted to have a good time. If he didn’t see anyone he had met prior to leaving, what was the point of being here at all?

That was when he realized the hotel room got a little crowded as people kept entering, and he wondered if they might get kicked out if this continued. As he leaned against the wall, he questioned himself. He liked to do that. Maybe he should just leave. Although it would be a hard task, squeezing himself between sweaty bodies and he knew he’s probably going to get whipped in the face with hair and a couple of arms, but the air was getting too hot and he couldn’t breathe the same way with all the smoke in the air. So he got off against the wall and placed his half-empty beer bottle down on the dresser beside him, taking his jacket away from hanging on his arm and puts his arms through the sleeves, turning his torso sideways to walk out of the crowd with his body still intact. He cracked the door open, which surprisingly, there was no one before him in the hallway before he shut it behind him.

He could breathe again.

It was refreshing, even though the air wasn’t exactly chilly, it felt nice going down his esophagus and clearing his lungs. All he had to do was find his mother’s place, now. He walked down the hallway towards the elevator, pressing the L button before he backed up against the wall and waited for the doors to slide closed.

He wasn’t expecting anyone to stick their hand through the metal gates, but nevertheless, unexpected things happen all the time in the life of Tsukishima Kei, like the one time Kyoutani tripped over his shoelaces during practice before he jumped up to hit the ball, falling on his face in front of the whole team. He chuckled at that. The person who had been stumbling inside the metal box was heaving, frantically picking up their stuff as what he guessed they dropped just now—he wasn’t paying attention as he recalled a certain memory.

“Shit,” they whispered as they bent down to pick their phone up off the ground. They stood up after grabbing what they needed and flattened their clothes, then leaned against the elevator frame. He looked over with a newfound curiosity, his head tilted to the side while his eyes scanned over what they were wearing. Nothing extravagant, he noted as his eyes scooted upwards.

It was only when they lifted their head to say sorry that he lost his train of thought. Completely stumped, was he. Eyes wide with his breath slowed down almost to a complete stop, he stared.

And so did you.

• • • • • •

“You promise to love me forever, Tsukki?” You question with your hands carrying his, your eyes beading with excitement. He looked at you like he was nervous and he didn’t know what to say, his fingers curling in your palms and sweating a bit. Though, when he looked at you, he couldn’t stop the way your smile bled into his veins and rushed through his entire body, placing one of his own on his face.

He takes a deep breath and readjusts himself in your grip, “I promise!” He shouts it with determination, relishing in your giggles and throwing your hands up in the air with him.

The adults that surrounded you two, his parents and yours, clapped for you as if it were a link in matrimony. They cheered and laughed with you, praising you both for “being the luckiest people on Earth”. He smiles again, believing every word they said all the while holding your hand in his.

Lucky. Was that really what you were?

“Shit,” you mumbled again, only this time it came out as if you hadn’t seen something for a long time. He supposed he couldn’t blame you for that. “Ah, Tsukishima,” you marked awkwardly, dealing with the shocked stare he handed to you. “What-what are you doing here?” You stuttered over your words with an inhale as you get a grip on the event that just had to happen right now.

“Party.” He uttered out.

“What? You, a party? No way,” you offered a smile.

“Uh, I was just leaving,” he clarified, finally getting a grip on his vocal cords. “What floor?”

“Oh, just the Lobby, I’m heading home.” Your head turned back to the wall before you, waiting for the doors to close again.

“You still live here?” He muttered, a confused brow creasing his skin.

“Huh?” You turned your head again as the doors shut, thankfully not hard enough to cause whiplash, “yeah, I do. Pretty boring, right?” You chuckled it off, your lungs suffocating in the uncomfortable atmosphere. “I just haven’t had anywhere to go since college, so. But!” You raised a finger, not to let him jump to conclusions. “I have my own home. The market here is pretty cheap and I didn’t want to live with my mom.”

He nodded in understanding, finally allowing his neck to guide his head face-forward.

“What about you? I heard you joined a professional volleyball team, I’ve seen you on TV.”

“You’ve watched me play?” Even if your faces were turned away from each other, you knew exactly what his face looked like at that exact moment. You cursed yourself for it.

“Only a little bit, when I don’t have anything else to watch.” Did that come off as mean?

“I see. Well—”

The elevator dinged and the doors glided open with a crowd on the other side, rushing inside the box. You both dashed out of it, observing the rest of the passengers press practically all the buttons there was on the dashboard and argue over what food they wanted for dinner. Your heads slowly reclined back to each other, the same thing dressing both of your features. People.

A smug smile quirked the corners of his lips up before he turned around, walking towards the exit of the building. You slightly frowned at his hurry to get away from you, this feeling of something unresolved rising in your stomach.

“Hey,” you called over, watching his body halt and switch directions. “Wanna have a couple drinks?” You asked politely, raising your shoulders, “catch up?”

He nodded. Maybe the beer won’t taste that bad, he thought to himself while he waited for your legs to line up with his.

—author's note. HI IM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE AND THE FIRST CHAPTER TOO 😩 ive been swamped in school work and im just trying to get caught up. im trying to make this story as captivating as possible, (yes i havent finished writing it, im that impulsive) so dont be afraid to send me suggestions! (i already have one and y/n is an artist 😌 - painter to clarify)

TAGLIST IN REBLOG —

fill out this form or send an ask to be a part of the taglist!

(reblogs are appreciated)

[alicanta77]

felix!! how are you? i hope you’re well💞 i saw your how to adult post and wanted to compliment you for it. that’s honestly going to be so helpful for adults to be, especially for people who have no older siblings (and those who find it a bit uncomfortable to ask them) to teach them what to do. it’s very important to know those stuff or else, you’ll feel lost wondering what the hell should you do next. i see you’re embracing the older sister role quite well😩 jgjdjhk anyways, you go girl!! educate them😌

so i just finished watching high school rapper, and it left me simping for mark lee🤦🏻‍♀️ it’s like dancing high with jisung all over again, I got into nct because of seeing him on that show and now mark is trying pull me away from sung🤺 should i go and watch ten on hit the stage now and let him bias wreck me??? lifes so dangerous these days istg

anyways, here are some cute neos as an offering😌

hiya gwen!!! ahhh you and your asks always cheer me up so much 🥺

i'm doing okay, i had a long night last night where i had a six hour shift and i think i'm losing a friend so woke up not feeling great but somehow you always put a smile on my face (and i promise that's not just cause you send me cute jeno/neo photos) 🤍🤍

i'm really excited to start how to adult just cause it's something that's been on my mind for a while and school annoys me in how i used to spend an hour a week watching films in a lesson (it was an elective but the options were always rubbish) and yet i had no idea how to pay my taxes. so i thought, "fuck it, if no ones gonna teach us, i'll do it". i'm very much embracing my older sister role here and i actually can't express how much i love that people see me as that and that they feel they can rely on me 🥺🥺🥺

i honestly feel like every nctzen simps for mark at some point. even if mark isn't your bias, he's your bias. but that's right bby your fight him off! if you think you can bear it and not be bias wrecked, go for it and watch ten! (or just do what i do which is accept that you'll be bias wrecked and just lean into it. i know i'll go back to jeno eventually so im like "oooh this is fun i haven't been here in a while, how've you been jaemin")

LOTS OF LOVE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

[writingwithciara]

Silent Auction (1) ~Topper Thornton~

summary: Kildare County High School decides to have an auction to save the arts programs. all the students are up for grabs and y/n is purchased by the least likely person. her worst nightmare. her nemesis. someone who doesn’t even attend the school.

word count: 1.4k

pairings: topper x reader, pope x kiara

warnings: fluff, enemies to friends (kinda)

a/n: i was watching zoey 101 and this idea popped into my head.

← previous next →

masterlist

“What’s with the assembly?” Kiara asked as she sat with the pogues sat at the back of the auditorium.

“I heard that someone went missing.” JJ laughed as he leaned over. y/n slapped his chest and pushed him back.

“Shut up, JJ.” she laughed.

“I heard there was a meeting last night and that one of the programs was being cut.” John B informed the group. “I heard it was the drama department.” 

“What? No. That’s entirely unfair.” y/n gasped. “If anything, it should be the History program.” she teased, knowing how much John B loved History class.

“Relax guys. I’m sure it’s neither of those.” Kiara smiled and looked through her phone.

The principal got up on the stage and propped the microphone at her level.

“Good morning staff and students. The purpose of today’s assembly is to discuss the problem we’ve been having with the funding.” she looked down at her notes and continued talking. “It has been brought to my attention that we’ve gone overboard on the budget for this years activities and that we need to cancel a program. At last nights school meeting, your teachers and I put our heads together and figured out what program wasn’t getting as much participants as the others, and therefore, has to be cut out of the budget.”

“It’s totally the arts program.” John B smiled and whispered in y/n’s ear. She slapped his arm as he laughed.

“Shut up, John B.”

“Unfortunately, we will be cutting funding for the arts department.” the principal spoke in a sad tone. Tons of people murmured to the people around them. “I know, I know. It’s a very sad decision but not a lot of students here are really all that interested in the department. I was shocked and thought it would’ve been the History department.” she sighed. “I love the arts program and it pains me to have to see it get taken away, but it’s what needs to be done.” she looked out at the sea of students and teachers. “That will be all. You may now return to your classrooms.” she ended the assembly and walked off-stage.

Y/n and Pope returned to their soon-to-be-cut Art class and sat at their stations. 

“Man, this blows. Just when I get good at art, they cut the program.” Pope sighed and picked up a brush. Their teacher, Mr Marzello, entered the room and sat down at his desk.

“I was not expecting that to happen.” he moped. “With the cuts, this means that this will be our final week together. I will miss you all.” he looked at all 11 of his students. Pope was undoubtedly the favorite, as he was the most improved, with y/n coming in a close 2nd. “Now, for your assignment, I would like you to do a painting that represents you. You can make it as creative, or plain as you wish. This will be your final assignment and will be due at the end of the week.”

“This really sucks.” Pope set his brush down and looked at the canvas in front of him. It was blank, aside from a blue dot sitting in the middle. 

Y/n admired his creativity and looked over at her own canvas. It was a pure white canvas. She couldn’t bring herself to even think about the class, knowing it was going to end. She tapped the brush on the edge as she thought of an idea to save the program. When she got one, she sat up straighter and smiled.

“I know that look.” Pope smiled at his best friend. “You’ve got an idea on how to save the program, don’t you?” As she nodded, both their smiled grew bigger and she told him her idea.

At the end of class, they were the last two to leave, as usual. They approached Mr Marzello’s desk with mischievous looks on their faces. He looked up and was startled.

“Hey, guys. What’s up?”

“We thought of a way we could raise money and save the program.” Pope began.

“And we’re gonna need your help.” y/n finished. She proceeded to tell their teacher everything he needed to hear.

As the final bell for the day rang, Pope and y/n met up with Mr Marzello and they headed into the principal’s office.

“Ms. Nickols, these two lovely students came up with a pretty neat fundraiser idea that may just save the arts programs.” 

“What’s the idea?”

“We have a silent auction.”

“What would we be auctioning?” the principal was in the edge of her seat as the three of them explained it all to her. 

“We’d be auctioning off a bunch of people. All we gotta do is find anyone who’s willing to be bought.”

“Okay. How would the silent auction work, exactly?”

“Easy.” Pope smiled. “We find the participants, and instead of having their pictures on the forms, we assign them all numbers. People can then bid on whatever number they think they’ll want and when the time is up, we sell the participants. They don’t have to be for dates or anything, either. The winners can use them for whatever.”

“That sounds brilliant. But we’ll need at least two supervisors, myself and someone else, for this event and it’s gonna take some planning.”

“I’m willing to be a supervisor and I know these two are already planning it. Look at them. They’re planning it as we speak.” the two adults looked at the teenagers who were whispering to each other.

“Okay. You got yourselves a deal.” the principal smiled and watched the trio exit her office in the happiest of moods.

---------------

4 days later, Pope and y/n had set everything up and they smiled at each other as they watched the auditorium fill up with people.

“I almost forgot.” y/n smiled and handed Pope a piece of paper. “I signed you up for this.”

“What a coincidence, because,” he smiled and gave her a number. “I signed you up too.”

“I bet I’ll get more than you.” she stuck her tongue out and continued signing people in.

“In your dreams, darling.” he chuckled.

After the 3 hours was up, Mr Marzello retrieved all the clipboards and handed them to Ms Nickols.

“Welcome to the first ever Kildare County High Silent Auction.” she greeted the crowd and it was met with tons of cheers. “First up, we have Jasmine Vingras.”

The night went on and it felt like it took forever for them to get through all 42 participants. Pope and y/n looked at each other and smiled.

“This was quite a turn out, tonight. I’m so happy that we’ve raised enough money to save the arts program and have enough let over to put away for next year.” Pope smiled. 

“Yeah. And we’re the last two participants so we’re gonna get a lot more.” y/n replied with a smile.

“And now, the first of our masterminds behind this auction, #43. Mr Pope Heyward.”

“Good luck, Pope.” y/n smiled as he climbed onto the stage.

“This lovely boy was auctioned for,” Mr Marzello looked down at Pope’s clipboard. “Wow. He was auctioned for $1500 to Ms Carrera.” 

Kiara stood up and smiled as he looked at her in shock. he climbed off the stage and walked over to the girl. 

“Why’d you spend so much and how’d you know it was me?” he chuckled.

“Because I like you, dummy. And I figured it was you when I heard you and y/n talking to each other at the beginning of the event.” she blushed.

“I’m glad you bought me.” he smiled and they walked to the side of the stage. 

“Now, time for the final participant of the evening. Ms y/l/n.” Ms Nickols smiled and the crowd clapped as y/n walked up on stage. 

JJ looked at his friends and smirked. “I put a pretty big bid down her sheet. I’m hoping it was enough to get her.

“Ms y/ln was auctioned off for a whopping...” Ms Nickols looked at the clipboard and her eyes widened. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the highest bid ever. The lovely young lady standing on stage with me, earned the school over 10 grand alone. She was auctioned off at a grand total of $15,000 to a Mr....” she squinted and looked at the paper. “Mr Thornton.”

The pogues all looked around the room and when they saw Topper standing and scratching the back of his neck, they were shocked.

Topper Thornton. Enemy to Pogues and Nemesis to y/n herself. This was unbelievable.

tags: 

@spilledtee​​​ @im-a-stranger-thing​ @ameeraaa21​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​​ @obxmxybxnk​​ @http-cherries​ @ijustreallylovethem​​ @maggiesrandomness​​ @softstarkey​​ @poguesgold​​ @jjouterbanks​​ 

[broken-heroes-and-potatoes]

hello hello!! i'm here to send some requests 💖maybe some Bakugou, Tamaki and Hawks best friends to lovers headcanons? good luck with your blog !! 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

Thank you so much senpai @bnha-imagines-forall for the shout-out and for the interesting request too, to be honest I have no idea what this is..I don’t think that’s headcanons though’ I hope it’ll be okay nonetheless, don’t hesitate to tell me how I can improve! #toomuchpressure

Katsuki Bakugo

- Being friend with Bakugo is already a big thing, I mean, being upgraded from despise/indifference to tolerance isn’t something Katsuki grants to everyone, so you probably passed some ‘unconscious tests’ throught the early steps of the relationship.

- First of all, you intrigued him, pricked his curiosity whether because of your quirk or your personnality, you immediately caught his attention and even with that, he was definitely not the one who will approach you. He [im]patiently watched from afar, listened to other talk about you, studying your every moves from the corner of his eyes. [spoiler alert, he ended up doing the first move because you took too damn long to give him attention.]

- He had everyone recognitions for his strenght and abilities, but he couldn’t really understand why it bothered him that you never showed him yours, not that he needed it anyways.. but still.

- You ended up hanging with him because of your friendship with Kirishima and even if you he gave you the cold shoulder at first, he quickly accepted you and, to the surprise of his closest friend, undertook friendly actions so you’ll feel at ease around him.

- Bakugo being Bakugo, you often get into passionate and, sometimes, sterile debates with him ‘cause of how stuborn he’s, it usually ends in screams and shouts, or pillow thrown at each other. Whatever, it stimulates him, and more important, no matter what, you still sticked to his side supporting him even when he was in despicable states and you’re defintely worth of his trust and respect because of this.

- You challenge him and it’s what drag him into you, not necessarily on a fighting level, but on a daily basis of every single aspects in his life

- On the other hand, you assure a kind of balance, appeasing him when he can’t go down from a high frustration and he realized that as things progress his feelings evolved too.

- You are one of the only person he never pushed away (too harshly at least), the one he thinks of before falling asleep, the one he felt the ‘need’ to be with when he has something happy to share or when he’s feeling overwheelmed by negative emotions

- He’s an emotional constipated boy, but when he pulled all the pieces together and understood what those...unwanting feelings was, it angered him to no point. You never thought a grumpier Katsuki could exist? Say no more. He’s on edge and fuming at everything and everyone. Midoriya breathing next to him? He nearly blew his head off His pen stopped working? He exploded it like confettis.

- Once he was aware of it, he can’t get it out of his mind and it pissed him off, the only logical option he came up with? Avoiding you. And when you try to act as usual? Ignoring you.

- The fact was that the thing he could least bear? Himself. For feeling that way, for realizing it, for being distracted and affected by something so trivial, for hurting you.

- One night when he couldn’t fall asleep because of the situation, turning and tossing in his bed, he angrily thrown off his sheets on the ground, storming off of his room and frowning while taking the direction of yours with a determine step.

- He knocked [BANGED.] on your door, not giving a freakin’ care that it was past midnight, and when you opened it slightly panicked in your nightie, rubbing your eyes, he just blurted out nonsens and the only words you grabbed were «can’t stop thinking about you – it pisses me off – I miss you – in love with you» ponctuated with some ‘shit’ and‘fuckin’ here and there.

- When he finally shut his mouth, his ears turned bright pink, stupor painted his face and as he was about to leave the same way he arrived, you grabbed his wrist to prevent him to vanish and dropped a quick clumsy kiss on his lips.

- His brain freezed, his eyes wide opened, he didn’t know how to react, not even realizing he woke the entire floor with his shouts.

Tamaki Amajiki

- He’s one of most the complicated person to reach, whether physically or emotionally, so it would take YEARS to make him accept that 1 – He can Love someone 2- He deserves to be Loved too

- Tamaki is a fragile little cinnamon roll that shouldn’t be pushed too much, it’s like sitting into bushes and wait to take wild animals in pictures. Patience and delicacy are required along with silence and empathy.

- If you both knew each other since elementary school, he would develop the same bond and dependance he has with Mirio, a solide relationship based on trust. But he would burried deep down his feelings so you would never discover his love to you, neither do he.

- If you met at U.A, then he would accept your presence only because Mirio and Nejire included you without his opinion to the group. If they do so without really consulting him, it's because they both know you could get along and won’t go beyond the pale and impose yourself on him.

- Either one of the other, he would very slowly open up to you, studying you at first, and leaving each time you sat next to him. Then he would accept that you could speak to him, sometimes he would even answer and to finish, he would talk to you and ask for your advices.

- If you’re lucky enough, you’ll be able to put your hand on his shoulder or brush his arm with yours after a few months!

- There’s something pretty reassuring about you, something that makes him feel at ease, almost confident when you’re around, the way you make all of those impossible things for him look so easy and smooth, and the bravery you show to accomplish little things in your life, even if it costs you a lot of courage to do so. He admires your convictions, the way you fight for what you love and what you believe in..

- He likes the fact you consider his feelings and apprehensions and don’t push him too much as much as you tend to help him find solution and don’t go and do the thing for him.

- You enlighten a path for him, guiding him throught the shadows of his emotional blinders, and help him make few steps in this horrific world. And he needs nothing more to fall in love with you.

- It was crystal clear for everyone to the point some people thought you were already dating, everyone except two persons, Him, and you.

- How he blushes each time you smile to him, how he searches you around when he losts sight of you, and how his own innocent smile gained his lips when you joke with him.

- Your two friends tried, REALLY hard to get you together, to help him realize and open up his feelings, to arranged some date between the two of you  while hidding to spy in the background.. but nope.

- When Mirio couldn’t bear it anymore, he took him under his arm to have an adult talk and it rang in Tamaki’s head like a bell.

- Thinking about it, the warm in his chest, the goosebump on his arms and the way he, sometimes [often], wanted to keep you close and don’t let you go after an afternoon by your side.. Mirio’s words do made sens.. and it was freaking him out now.

- A trap later settled into one more arranged date, he couldn’t look at you in the eyes, nor focus on what you were saying. You were so… and he was.. No. You definitely deserved better and there were no chance..

- «Are you.. okay Tamaki?» His heart was about to exploded when you got him out of his thoughts with the sound of his name, eyes wondering on your face in panic, what where you saying ? Why does he have to act like this, why do you look so sad? He’s already a terrible friend, how could he be a good boyfriend to you

- «No, it’s- it’s okay, I should have know you're not returning my feelings, I’am sorry I misread the signs-I .. I hope we can still be friend?»

- Tamaki thought he was about to faint when he heard you, wobbly legs, buzzing ears, blurry vision, he couldn’t think straight, but the tiny bit of reason in his head push few words to escape from his lips before he black out from the pressure. «I love you.»

Hawks - Keigo Takami

- This cocky Bastard had won your heart for ages but you kept it to yourself because you knew it was just a game between the two of you.

- You had to admit he was a pretty cute guy when you both met and began to work together, but this smart ass deserved some slaps on the head from time to time and it was a charm that would drag you to him even more.

- You were like an elusive target to him, reproaching his nonchalance and laid back attitude, spending your time pushing him away and resisting to his teasing demeanors.

- Despite the constant lazyness he tends to wallow in, he took it as a challenge and he put a point of honor to make you abdicate.

- [Un]fortunately, after months of playing with your nerves, he got caught at his own game and he was the one to fall deeply for you.

- You also fell for him hard, and quick after you two became friends, it was some kind of funny fight at first, a pleasant banter between two grown persons, he was throwing flirty comments your way and you answered to him with a wink accompanied by snarky remarks.

- Beyond that, the two of you created a really healthy bonds, he knew in a sec’ when something’s wrong and dropped anything he was doing to cheer you up, leaving all of the challenge out.

- He would took you on the roof of his building to watch a reassuring movie outdoor, your favorite snacks prepared, even if he would never admit that he fly throught the whole city to find them.

- It surprised him how much he remembered useless things when it comes to you, how many sugar you put in your tea, how your mustard scarf look good on you and how the tint of vanilla in your perfurme get along perfectly with the natural one of your skin.

- He also noticed the changed in his feelings toward you, for example, he was annoyed to the tips of his wings when Best Jeanist proposed to accompanied you to chose a new jacket to welcome spring and you seemed utterly happy about it.

- Whether for you or for him, it was more and more difficult to accept the situation when you realized how the feelings had settled down and there was no way to back off now that the relationship always been like that.

- He tried to didn’t take it seriously, but he liked this..thing.. going on between you too much, could he call it an addiction? He didn’t like it but, Maybe. Anyway, he would take the risk to confess even if it means not coming out unscathed

- Being an organised and clever guy didn’t help him much because each of is attempts to wooed you failed as you took it as the natural behaviour he developped toward you.

- And God knows how he gave it his best, he made it clear to call it «A DATE», he offered you flowers carefuly picked with his feathers while you were both sitting in a meadow as the sun set, he was neatly dressed and if you squinted a lot, he even did something to his hair!

- You wished all of this could be true but you refused to believe in it, because the fall would only be harder, proof with how hard the pain already thundered in your chest.

- When he leaded you home that night, you felt as if you didn’t wanted him to go, it wasn’t the first time, but right now, you would have given everything you could to keep him by your side. You anxiously turned to him once you reached the door, no word were needeed for him to understand what was going on in your mind.

- He approached confidently, shielding you both with his wings, his gloved hand on your cheek before you could react and his mouth on yours in a chaste kiss. You felt a smile crept on his lips when you put enough pressure to return it and he pulled away slowly.

- You plunged into amused golden eyes when his breath tickled you in a whispered words «I won», he laughed against your lips, trying once more to steal a kiss as you pushed him away gently, not-so-nice words leaving your mouth.

[rioskingdom]

Amor Pasado

Chapter 3

"I think I'm gonna puke," I slammed my eyes shut, taking the precaution of even covering them with my hand.

"Why did you come into an empty room," Cesar shouted. I heard the sound of objects being stepped on.

"Oh were gonna be judging me for coming into an empty room, not the sex-crazed teens, getting it on, in the teacher's desk!" I cringed at my own comment, shaking the thought of the kids having sex. "I have a free period, so I come into this room, it has the best signal in the whole school," When the room fell silent, I opened my eyes, moving my hand away.

Monse and Cesar both stood straight up, looking guilty as ever. "so we're just gonna go," Cesar tried walking away, Monse following close behind him but I called them out.

"how long has this been going on," I asked them.

Cesar was scratching the back of his neck, "the first time was before camp,"

"Then it started again about two weeks ago" she added. "Don't tell the crew," Monse pleaded. Why she was scared of telling Ruby and Jamal beat me, but it wasn't my secret to tell.

"Monse, I'm honestly trying to forget about it myself," I sighed, rubbing my hands against my face.

"I always did find you two very cute, even when you were kids," Both of them beamed, "You know you cant keep it a secret forever," they both nodded their heads. "Be careful where you guys are having sex, next time it'll be a teacher" I warned, as they left the room.

This room would forever be scarred in my head, not making me want to sit here anymore. I darted towards the library, while you still had a free period.

---

"You sure you dont want to go to the dance?" Olivia was picking pieces of clothing, shoving them in a bag. I shook my head, lowering my laptop screen.

"Dances aren't my scene, plus it's gonna be filled with ninth and tenth graders, no offense," she laughed, grabbing her bag. "Ok, have fun alone in this room," She giggled.

"Im gonna have so much fun, working on my homework!" Ruby came in, talking nonsense about being woke, after a few years with him, I learned how to turn my hearing off with him. Once they left, I focused on my homework. My grades had to be perfect, I had to give Cornell no reason to reject me.

There was a knock on the door, at first, I was gonna ignore it, but when I heard the second knock, I got up heading to the door.

When I opened the door, Victoria stood there, "Hey Carmen," I leaned against the doorway, examining her. "I missed you,"

"I dont," I responded, making her take a step back.

"I talked to the headmaster," she continued. "she's willing to forget the past and let you back into the school," Of course she would, hoping I dont tell the school board about her rendezvous with her students.

Her hand moved to hold mine, "we could be together again,"

I considered the possibility of returning, missing my friends, my professors, actually having a shot of going to Cornell. I looked down, watching as her hand, which once felt warm and comforting, now felt cold and stonelike. I peered up at her, my hand slipping from hers.

"I think its time for you to go," I mumbled. Focusing my attention on the flower pot, outside the door.

"Come on Car' we all missed you up there," She leaned closer.

"Dont call me that," I snapped at her, pushing her back. "you lost that right when I caught you screwing the headmaster," I spat at her.

"It wasn't like that, you're naturally smart," she defended herself, "I had to find a way to keep my grades up to stay in Gardensfield,"

"Are you expecting me to feel sorry?" I asked her. Whatever excuse she tried giving, it didn't change the fact, she cheated on me. Her eyes fell on my wrist.

"You took off your bracelet?" I walked away, going to my room, grabbing the bracelet that I threw on the floor weeks ago. I got to the door, handing her the bracelet.

"Have a nice life, Victoria," I slammed the door shut, resting my back against the door. My breath growing ragged as my chest felt heavy. Someone came from behind me, giving me a hug. I turned to them, seeing Abuela.

"Abuelita?" She backed up, coughing behind her, I'm assuming to not cough on me.

"Im sorry you had to see that Abuelita," I apologized, taking in a deep breath.

"no need to apologize, you should go out, have fun, forget this Victoria person,"

"I have homework," I tried to explain, but abuelita started nudging into my room.

"Nonsense, youre only young once," she was right. I couldn't go back to writing math problems. But where would I go? I'd never step foot in a high school dance. I sent Cesar a message, see if maybe he knew of a party, since he was in the gang.

there's a party at Monse, dance got canceled

Good enough excuse. I grabbed my phone, heading to Monse's.

----

I was getting lost in Jasmine's story, as I finished downing my beer. I walked to her fridge, grabbing another one.

"You sure thats a good idea, thats your third one," Monse told me. Who was she to judge?

"Hey im the adult here," I told her, keeping my sentences short and sweet.

"You're 17, "I stuck my tongue out on Monse, opening up my beer.

I looked to Jasmine cheering her on, "Jasmine, so tell me that story about your third nipple," I started drinking my beer, walking to her as she started gushing on how she discovered it. The minute I sat on the couch, I stood back up, coming to the realization that I had to pee very bad.  

"I have to pee," My memory was pulling tricks on me, I couldn't remember where Monse's bathroom was. I've been here a few times, so why can't I remember the location. I stumbled into Monse's bedroom, realizing this wasn't the restroom. My eyes fell onto Cesar, who was on the phone.

"Cesar," I whispered, trying to be quiet. He looked up at me.

"Oscar hold on," he turns to look at me

"That's Oscar?" he nodded his head, "tell him he's a poopy head," Cesar smiled, saying something on the phone. I looked down, spotting a penny on the floor. It must be my lucky day.

"Yup," He hung up the phone as I reached down for the quarter. I shot up, acting as if I didn't have my hand on the cookie jar.

"Cesar I'm lost, I need the bathroom," He looked confused.

"What?" he laughed, not understanding me.

"I have to pee," His mouth shaped into an "o" taking me to the bathroom. Once I finished using the restroom, I went to the sink, washing my hands, before spattering some of the water onto my face.

I stumbled outside of the bathroom, seeing Jasmine passed out on the couch. I walked outside, taking my bottle with me, needing some fresh air.

I sat on the porch, looking at the night sky. Oscar came up to me, sitting next to me, "Aren't you a little too grown for this party," I asked him, giving him a smile.

"I would say the same to you," He said.

"I can do whatever the hell I want," I answered, lifting the beer bottle, getting ready to take a sip. Oscar grabbed the bottle from my hands, moving it away from me.

"Pendejo!" I cursed, turning to him.

"Que te pasa?" he scolded. Okay, dad.

"Nothing," I told him, but his face read that he wasn't gonna give up. By now I was tired of Oscar's bullshit. I haven't even forgiven from last week, leaving me hanging that way. My anger sobered me up pretty quickly, causing me to stand up, so I could face him.

"Oh my god, what is up with you, no quieres ser mi hermano, pero jodes de ser mi amigo, you dont want to kiss me?" I ranted to him.

"Not this shit again," He rolled his eyes, getting up but I pushed him back down so that I was the taller person here.

"yes, this shit again," I scolded him, he leaned back, resting his arms against the steps, almost enjoying my outburst.

"I said no to going back to Gardenfields because of a past relationship biting me in the ass, and now you-" I massaged my temples, feeling an incoming headache.

"I mean am I crazy? did I read the signs wrong?" He had a smirk, written on his lips.

"Why the fuck are you smirking," I ranted. He stood up, pulling me flush against him. Bending down, he crashed his lips on mine. The mixture of cigarette with spearmint caused my body to melt into his, as he held on to me, keeping me upright. As he pulled away, he brushed his thumb against my lips.

"you're not crazy," he breathed. I gasped, running to the bushes, puking the contents from my stomach.

[musedblues]

Always Something There To Remind Me [Part: 6]

summary: Home is where the heart is. You're working on finding yours. After a handful of misfortunes, your old friend Joe helps to unravel life's greatest mystery while adding a bit of extra grief to the mix.

w/c: 3k

a/n: Oh my God, I did it. I finished something I started. I sincerely hope you all enjoy the finale of this story, I tried to make it happy as I could manage. Thank you lot for reading this far and for all the support along the way. Here it is... THE END!!

tagliast: @im-an-adult-ish​ @mrsmazzello​ @lettinggosthehardestpart​ @the-moving-finger-writes​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @joemazzmatazz​ @sherlollydramoine​

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

one year later...

"When are you gonna come visit me, huh?" Gwilym whined like a child, via facetime. "That's... a very good question. What do you think?" Joe rose a brow, turning his face from his phone screen to look right at you. "Huh?" All your attention had been focused on scribbling music notes onto sheets of paper. 

"The weather is finally nice again. We should take a trip!" Joe quipped, and you saw Gwil nodding in encouragement from the phone propped on the kitchen table. "Oh, please! It's about time I take you pair on a tour of my city." Gwil imagined on your behalf, coxing you to dream along. He'd stopped in New York a handful of times, usually just to see you. It was about time you hit up his haunts... You had the money, and you could make the time. The savings from your shifts at the flower shop were a great start, but after leaving your hometown to move in with Joe, you'd landed an even better job.

When you started roaming the city for places that were hiring, a nice woman behind a bakery countertop informed you that her husband might be able to help you out. She scribbled his business address on a sticky note, and you left to follow the directions. And when you discovered where you'd been led too, all you could do was laugh out loud.

It was the piano bar. The one Joe had taken you and Gwil too the first weekend you stayed over, with naugahyde seats and a very nice Steinway. With a deep breath, you stepped inside. It was still early in the afternoon, and there weren't many patrons lazing about the lounge. You moved to the opposite end of the bar from where its only customer sat slumped over a beer. Behind the counter was the same friendly older man with the German accent, whose eyes lit up when he saw you. You wondered, for one fleeting moment, if he somehow remembered you too. "What'll it be for ya, then?" The man set down the glass he was cleaning and looked to you expectantly. "Actually, I heard you were hiring." You grinned. The older man lost his smile but the sparkle in his eye remained as he let out an "ahh," of understanding. "You any good?" He wondered, leaning against the counter. You took a beat to peer past his shoulder at the rainbow of bottles that lined the walls. Some were drinks you'd never worked with, but you had years of experience otherwise. "I'd have to renew my license, but I think-" "Oh no," The man frowned, softly interrupting you. "No, I'm looking for someone to play in residence." He nodded toward the small risen velvet stage where a baby grand sat in waiting. Your heart leapt to your stomach and back up again. "I- I haven't played in years." You meant to think it, but you said it out loud. When you turned back to look at the man behind the counter, his sly smile was back. He insisted you an audition, practically begging you to go and play something. As you stood in deep thought, he spoke up again. The man decided you could work behind the bar until you got the guts to play something. So for a week you mixed drinks and worried over what to do next. The last time you touched your keyboard was a lifetime ago, when you sold it off to pay for groceries. But you were living in another world, now. One where you ended your evenings alongside Joe, arguing over what to cook for dinner and laughing over his well thought out debates of why it was perfectly okay to have pizza four nights in a row. He was silly as ever, in fact, his wit seemed sharper than before. But unlike in high school, when he'd test the limits of how mad his dumb pranks could drive you, he knew when to draw the line. Joe knew when to stop laughing and listen, but never lost his smile when gears shifted. After those first few long nights of laying out all your pent up thoughts and feelings from over the years, after telling every story you could each think of; those late-night conversations didn't end. You listened to each other ramble over silly things, unimportant things. But in the midst of it all, Joe was good at reminding you of your worth.

If it hadn't been for Joe's encouragement, you wouldn't have ever played the piano again. Through his persistence, you understood that an opportunity had presented itself and that you had nothing to lose by taking the chance. So you did. You warned your new boss that you didn't have much practice, but he sat patiently as you got the guts to play through most of Erik Satie's Gymnopedie no. 1 as the sunset. When the open sign flickered to life, you stayed on the bench. After then, you played almost every night, and even helped mix a drink or two when the occasion called for it. You'd settled into such a familiar routine at the piano bar without missing a single day, surely you'd earned a bit of a break, right? And how could you say no to Gwilym? His puppy dog eyes were even more convincing over facetime. /// "Oh yeah, I have a surprise for you." Joe sleepily grumbled like it might have been any other passing thought. "What, you're overtaking Gwilym as the tour guide?" You chuckled, setting back into the airplane seat as Joe's head fell to your shoulder. "No. Something much more exciting." Joe let out a little laugh, drifting to sleep soon after he said so. The plane had barely taken off. But Joe had been so busy planning this weekend-long trip to London that you were almost certain this was the most rest he'd gotten in weeks. Sure, Gwilym had been on the other end of the phone helping decide dates and times and reasons, but Joe was like a soccer mom competing to plan the best Disney World itinerary of the decade. He said it was because this was your first big trip together. But of course, you could have walked down the block with Joe at your side and been just as ecstatic to join him there, hand in hand. The sun rose over the clouds through the plane window, and Joe was heavily snuggled against your side, keeping you grounded a mile above land. 

At first, when kisses still seemed new, and every trip to the market was an adventure, you wished you'd loved each other like this much sooner. But you decided everything happened at just the right time. You belonged together, but you wouldn't have been brave enough to accept that if you hadn't lived a few uncomfortable lives apart. After everything, coming back to each other seemed expected.

Your mother, though, acted as if the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ had occurred when you first told her you and Joe made it official. She actually ran across the street to recruit Mrs. Mazzello in asking you one thousand embarrassing questions, but even that seemed like any other day. You spent the majority of the plane ride thinking back to those little moments, letting your mind wander. You thought of the last time you were in London, feeling glad to be headed there with Joe, for a change. Gwilym was lingering near a row of empty seats in a bustling waiting area, grinning from ear to ear. You were the first to greet him with a big hug. Gwil, to you, was a fresh start. A new friend from an old place, who came into your life at the exact perfect time. "Bore da!" Gwilym cheered, like a kid fresh from school. “I leave you all this time to practice and that's the best you've got?" You laughed at Gwil's charming efforts in keeping your silly challenge of speaking in a "secret" language. He was never any good at remembering the rough phrases you passed on to him, but he tried all the while. "I tried teaching him how to say 'welcome back' but we agreed I should be the one to say it." A familiar raspy voice cut through your attention focused on Gwil. Joe broke out into a dance in the place he stood, beaming at you. "Surprise!" He called, as you turned away from the men to lock eyes with one of the best friends that surely ever existed at all. Tegan was casually sipping on an iced coffee, holding back a massive grin. Her icy eyes were free from streaks of black makeup. Her dark hair was a little shorter than she used to wear it, but her smile grew bigger than ever before, and she was here. You lunged toward the girl, wrapping her in a hug she'd been practicing for the same as you. Joe was still dancing. "This was your surprise? How'd you pull this off?" You laughed, connecting the dots with what Joe had said as your plane took off. He went on to explain how the idea just sort of came to him when he started planning the trip. Joe had called Tegan one night while you were at work, and after making sure Gwil was alright with your dearest friend crashing the party he'd thought up, the three of them started scheming right under your nose. Gwil explained how Tegan's flight had been scheduled to land an hour earlier than yours, and how he didn't mind the sudden strange company one bit. 

You were well and truly surprised, and you made sure to thank the lot of them for thinking up such an exciting idea.

"Thank you," Tegan's tone floated low and serious past her smile as she reached out to hug Joe, for the first time ever. But there was such an air of familiarity between the lot of you that this too, felt like another day out of the life you were meant to be living. /// "God, I'd love if he'd toss me around like a rugby ball." Tegan sipped from a spiked lemonade, propped up on her elbows as her gaze focused on Gwilym tossing a ball to Joe, who was coaching his friend on proper pitching etiquette. "How romantic." You snorted, reaching for some cherries from the basket of snacks you toted along. Gwilym had led you all to his favorite beach where pockets of sand and tall grass made perfect spaces to enjoy a bit of quiet nature. Of course, you couldn't help but set up a speaker to play a list of everyone's favorite summer tunes. Just loud enough to cover up the sound of your chatter with Tegan, who had some new fantasy about Gwilym to blurt out every other minute. "I know it's not Wales, but it's nice to have you back, even for a minute." She turned toward you, setting her drink aside. you tucked your feet away from the hot sand and admired your friend as she peered up at you. "I'll always come back for you." You halfway joked, but nodded in assurance. "If my flirting pays off, you and I might see more of each other yet," Tegan informed peering at the boys near the shoreline. "Those two seem like the most inseparable of us all. We'd be like sister wives." You laughed, silently wondering when your life became one big full circle. Tegan joked about her little crush, but as the day went on it didn't seem so silly. When your friend wasn't looking, you noticed Gwil stealing glances all afternoon, tripping on his mother tongue, your secret language out the window.

The radio crackled with some chime saturated pop song, birds dared to scuttle toward your picnic.

"I can hear the wedding bells now," You joked, looking toward the radio, laying on your side to face your friend.

"Yeah, those are clearly for you." Tegan pointed out.

"Maybe." You responded with your first thought, conditioned to be wary of the future. But when you caught a glimpse of Joe laughing with his best friend near the water, you realized you didn't have to be weary any longer. "Okay, probably." You corrected, out of some primal fear of keeping Joe at a distance ever again. "But not yet. You know he and I decided to take things slow."

Tegan let out a chirped laugh, causing a nearby bird to fly off.

"Yeah, that's what you keep saying." She subtly stressed how your actions seemed to be contradictory. How you and Joe agreed to ease into a relationship together. But being together seemed like a glass of water after being stranded in the Sahara. You moved into his place in the blink of an eye. You abandoned the guest bedroom to share his long before moving in.

"It's hard to waste so much time when there is a lot we have to make up for." You reasoned. Tegan hummed in understanding right away, but then she sat up a little more, looking back to the horizon.

"I know what you mean. It's like... where has he been all my life?" She dared to speak as Gwil was approaching dangerously close to the two of you. After bursting into giggles and assuring Gwil you weren't talking about him, he grabbed a bottle of water and scurried away with one last glance over his shoulder.

You and Tegan went on planning a double wedding, to save money and time and innovations, naturally. Through fits of laughter, she decided to run the free bar, and you happened to know a pretty good wedding photographer.

And before you knew it the night had turned navy blue. You rented a hotel where each separate room was connected by a door near the entertainment center. You and Tegan claimed one room for yourself, taking turns showering and swapping clothes, like you used to.

The four of you ended up at some all-night joint who catered to a bunch of miners who traveled through at odd hours. The neon sign was a beacon and you all split plates of food and told embarrassing stories. You could have stayed there laughing all night if Tegan hadn't suggested adding drinks to the mix.

So you headed back to your shared suits, filing into one room and setting up shop for a late-night of laughter.

Tegan dropped Joe into learning how to mix a drink at the mini bar, cursing in welsh. You laughed from the place you settled on the balcony, and Gwilym took a seat beside you with a smirk.

"Why didn't we all just go to Wales?" He wondered aloud. You'd been making fun of him for being so lost when you and Tegan traded secrets.

Your first thought was to keep poking fun at Gwil, to say something about he'd get lost navigating the street signs. But you trusted the guy enough to tell him the truth. When you glanced inside to make sure Tegan and Joe were still occupied making a mess at the minibar, you leaned closer to Gwil and tried to make a very long story as short as possible.

Under the dim patio light, you explained how you moved to London after graduation, met a guy, moved to Wales and wasted too long with him. How you felt stuck. How he died and how you went back home to Joe where you belonged. Gwilym listened quietly, running his fingers over the stubble on his jaw as you capped off your story with how glad you were to have scored such a valuable friend in Tegan, through it all. "Guess you really don't need my tour of the city after all, huh?" Gwilym shrugged, realizing you were already pretty familiar with the back alleys. "Of course I do. I'm dying to see this place from your perspective." You grinned. Gwilym had a way of making everything seem newer, more exciting. But the question he asked that kick-started your conversation hung in your heart a little heavier as the evening went on. When you'd become overloaded by everything the day had to offer, you decided it was time to call it a night. You pulled Joe into the room meant to be for you and Tegan, hardly thinking of anything but how badly you longed for a quiet moment alone with the guy. You didn't speak, you just curled up and laid together. And if she noticed, Tegan didn't seem to mind as her laughter existed somewhere behind the door you locked her out of. You could even hear Gwilym singing Christmas carols in the warm summer night.

Your eyes grew heavy as your breathing synced with Joes, chests rising and falling in time. Everyone you loved was right where they ought to be.

The nightmares had gone away, but you must have had one. It happened like it used to, some heavy feeling rising in your chest and causing your eyes to shoot open when you hadn't even realized you'd fallen asleep.

The laughter and music from the other side of the door was gone, and the rising sun was casting a purple shadow through the curtains.

You were drawn to the window, trying to drown the sickening worry rising in your throat. You stood focusing on the sun sparkling over the waves. Watching far away people walk their dogs, and kids chasing each other. You were so lost in the scene that you were almost startled to have been interrupted.

Joe had woken up and joined you, snaking his arms around your middle and resting his chin on your shoulder. You felt safe enough to speak your mind.

"What if I don't ever go back to Wales? Is that selfish? What if I want to, but just can't do it?"

You'd lost so much there. You left so much behind, things you loved. Things you never got to say goodbye to. You realized that some of the things you'd planned on keeping now, could disappear just as well.  Days like this could slip away no matter how desperately you clung to them. Nothing lasted, good or bad. You spent the morning worrying over how to exist between those epic highs and tragic lows.

"I heard something once," Joe spoke up, keeping his loose hold around you. You rested your head back against his shoulder as you watched the waves crash to shore, a safe distance away. "Something about how there are only so many cutting patterns used to make puzzles. There was an artist who took different pictures and put them together because the puzzle pattern matched up. So you get funny little pictures, like, a train with the legs of a horse. But others were hard to tell apart. Like different mountainscapes blending together."

Joe rambled, looking at the same view as you.

"Life is like that, ya know? Things might not always make sense but they go together whether you like it or not. I'm not saying you should do anything you don't want to do. But I can promise no matter what puzzle you decide to put together, I'll be there to help fit in the pieces."

"God I can feel my teeth rotting, Joe," You elbowed him in the ribs as you spun to face him, because if you didn't joke about how sappy that was you would have surely burst into tears.

"I love you too." He rolled his eyes before leaning in for a gentle kiss, your own secret language.

Joe gave something that you were terrified to lose. And you were glad it was him. No matter where you wound up, you'd find his humor in places and the color of his eyes in things.

Joe was your destination. His arms remained open, inviting, even though you never truly strayed too far from his reach.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

"Together, we can live with the sadness I'll love you with all the madness in my soul." - Bruce Springsteen.

[jenildasjewelquest]

the customary graduation message

everyone probably already knows i love to write but this gets pretty personal so i think it's better posted this way. to have drafted this message in my head during those short moments of reflection between final requirements for OJT, thesis, and graduation, and it's finally here. except that it wasn't accompanied by my face full of makeup and the smug smile that i was already practicing, it didn’t involve watching myself and my batchmates in academic regalia - nope - instead, a smartphone-taken grad photo on our stairway, with myself in the formal wear that i had defended my thesis with; then cheering at the TV as my classmates' names were called. with snarky unemployment and adulting teasings put aside by the existence of my stable freelance work, there were long moments at night in quiet personal reflection. for once, i deserved to celebrate myself and my achievements - cum laude with a GPA 3.425, graduated on time despite serious hesitations and near-giving up, and in the course and school that i never regretted taking - multimedia arts, de la salle-college of saint benilde. it's a celebration that, i realized, i didn't want adulterated by the pretentiousness of celebratory posts on Facebook. the people i wanted to thank are worth more than that, honestly! so yeah, if you've already gotten tired of reading that long paragraph of how happy i felt about my finishing college, i think you should stop. or you know, keep scanning and waiting for your name to pop up when i thank you. good luck.

(in no particular order.)

i'd like to thank the 10th floor lab staff who let me borrow headphones every day in my last terms, granting me 80% more focus as i crammed thesis and org work. i’d like to thank all the staff of the college for always ensuring we felt and were safe in campus. i'd like to thank my color theory prof who told me to keep learning even though i said i wanted to repeat his subject because i was unsatisfied with how i performed in it even though i LOVED his subject. i'd like to thank my thesis adviser, who made our topic and project work through thick and thin, panic and pandemic - who became my inspiration for considering to return and teach in the college.

i'd like to thank the acquaintances, friends, teachers, moderators, production staff and actors, schoolmates, classmates, and org mates who put up with my naivety, frankness, and attempts to be better; a higher gratitude goes to those who saw more than these small parts and still stayed. i'd like to thank those who saw more than a name, a title, and GPA, more than my course, my interests, or dreams.

i'd like to thank my numerous what-ifs for teaching me about love and self-worth, for reminding me what i deserved. i'd like to thank my first ex who introduced me to the student org where i met my real love. i'd like to thank my second ex who helped me in the said org for a time. and i'd like to thank my wub for being the first to warmly welcome me into the after-college freedom.

and in retrospect, i'd like to thank those whose impact on me started even before August 31, 2016: my senior high social studies teacher who shared how he strove "to be of contribution to people", my noli me tangere teacher who broke down what was expected of us youth, and my calculus teacher who persisted in teaching us her subject even though more than half of the pilot class (myself included) could only scrape passing marks. of these, my biggest thank you is to my first mentors in journalism and design, who endorsed me to my full college scholarship. and to the preschool teacher who told me that i "was highly addicted to the mess of the room" for making paper doll dresses in class: hallo, im cum laude now! *winks*

and of course, the greatest thank you to my family for always putting up with all my academic adventures, praying that things would always turn for the best.

Sir Mike, Sir Roy, Ms Melay, Ms Kat; Sir Nuguid, Sir Jan, Sir Xander, Ms Jocas. Ms Fe, Sir Paul, Sir Lord; Sir Vincent, Sir Cao, Ms Portia, Ms Mones, Sir Blaise, Sir Jhino, Sir Jan, Sir Duran, Sir Joby, Ms Iris, Ms Myla, Ms Vanny, Sir Bong. Sir Petilla, Mrs Ferreras, Ms Gargaran, Ms Casauay; Sir Solas, Sir Cloyd. Teacher Joyce. Jerome, Tricia. Jay, Stephen, Clarisse, Janikka, Marj, Sean, Miggy; Terrence, Deejay, Sam, Kai, Ryan. Mij, Angeliz, Path, Jamie B; Jamie C, Chino, Kuya Daniel, Ate Mau, Fish, Bree. Zoe, Thea; Gene, Kyle, Emil, Aldrin, Kevin, Koji, Jason. Jason. Papa, Mama, Lolo, Lola, Dulce, Marielle, Ate Lyca, Francine.

everything in my college life was irreplaceable. no single social media caption or post can ever effectively summarize or celebrate it, but here was my attempt - i had prayed for experiences that would shape me to be the person He wanted me to be, and here i am now.

congratulations, batch 2020 graduates! we made it!!

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D

[snez]

a strange happening

i'm extremely doinked right now so i'm not going to be particularly eloquent but i just wanted to share with you this several-years-old community classic that you may not be aware of called a strange happening. it is like...... something people have been talking about for years.

a very short fic, tucked away in the Adult Board on the forum for over a decade and unearthed in about 2014 by yours truly.

notes: - this is a story about a sneezing vagina. it is nsfw. - i do not condone sexualizing people on their 18th birthday, but i feel like this is so far removed from anything that could ever arouse anyone or resemble reality that i think it's probably okay - it is very bad

A Strange Happening

It was finally Elexsis' 18th Birth Day and she was excited to

know now she could do what ever she wanted and injoy life a bit

more than usual. Today made her feel great cause she would find

out the families secret. As she got up that morning she took a

shower her long, blond, back length hair Clung to her body. Her

blue eyes shinning with excitement, and her fine crurves were

slowly covered in soapy lather and Elexsis soon later was

finished.

As she got dressed into her tight blue geans that hugged her

but and her tank top shirt, her lower half started to tingle.

Elexsis rubed down at her crotch and the tingle soon stopped

within a few seconds. With that she grabed her perfume and walk

out to the dinner table. Her mom greated her and set down a plat

of toast and eges.

"Happy Birth Day Elexsis." Her mother said with a smile as her

mother watched her put salt and pepper on her eges. Her mom got a

worried look on her face and then relaxed to see nothing

happening at all. "So you ready to find out the family secret?"

Elexsis nodded as she shoved her food down her throat, and saw

that she was already going to be late for school. When she finish

she packed her back pack and left with out a good bye or

anything.

Her father came into the kitchen with a yawn and her asked,

"So did you tell her yet?"

Elexsis mother looked down at the ground as she admited to not

telling her daughter a thing. Elexsis father hugged her and told

her not to worry maybe it wouldn't have effect till she got back

home. What Elexsis didn't know was that she like her parents were

alians and their 18th Birth Day is the start of their forever

problem on earth.

Elexsis got to school and as usual every guy drouled over her

walking bye. Her nice furm breast were about the only thing the

guys thought about when she walked by. she would hadly ever wear

a bra and that made them jiggle when she walked alot of times.

Her friend who not only was bi-sexual but had a huge crush on

her best friend called out to Elexsis in thried period. It was

there she was to find out what the secret she wanted to know was

to creep up on her.

"So Happy B-Day Elexsis." Diana said perky and cheerful. Diana

was 5' even and stood shorter than Elexsis who was at 5' 10". She

wore a high tone of musk perfume and it almost made Elexsis gag

for air. Diana's breast were orange sized and her brown hair hung

to her ears. She was okay but that perfume needed to die down.

"THank you" Elexsis said, smiling feeling a tingle in her

pussy. Then she heard it a sound all to familure. the sound of

person about to sneeze.

"Ahhh... aahhhh.." Elexsis looked around then her thighs

movedas the sneeze sounds got louder. "AAHHH...aaahhhh.." then it

released the sneeze. "AHCCHHHOOOO!!" Elexsis felt her pussy

release an amount of jucies from her pussy.

The teacher looked up and told Elexsis to go to the nurses

office. Elexsis did as she was told embarassed and red in the

face. The nurse let Elexsis go home cause she told them she was

getting sick from her mother having the flu.

"So it seems you found out?" Her mother said.

"Yeah what's with my pussy sneezing like that?" Elexsis said

angery at her mother and father for keeping it a secret. "I mean

do you have this problem?"

"Sure do." Her mother said, "If you want i can show you when

we get home."

"But why did my pussy sneeze?" Elexsis asked, not sure if she

could live like this.

"We're alians when we turn 18 our pussies get allergic to

things that would make a normal person sneeze. on our planet its

less of a problem but here it make you get horny as heck and you

ether sneeze till you come or have sex." Her mother smiled as her

daughter laughed. "I'm serious. Do you feel horny now?" This is

not a question for a mother to ask Elexsis felt it was wierd to

talk about.

"It tingles down there and I feel like I must do some thing to

get this building sensation away." Elexsis squented her eyes in

painfull need to cum.

"I know dear. Hold on and let us get home. We're almost

there." Her mother hated that her daughter would no longer live a

normal life.

when they got home Elexsis felt a strange tingle in her crotch

again. "Oh no, not again." the sounds started as Elexsis striped

out of her pants and under wear seeing her pussy lips open and

shut with every intake. "Ahhh... aaahhhh... aaahhhhh.."

"Aaahhhh.. aahhh.. AHCCCHHHHOOOOOO!!! CCHHOOOO!!! CCHHHOOO!!!"

Elexsis felt like she was going to cum now but she didn't.

"Bless you." Her mother said and saw the lust in her daughters

face.

"Thank you." Her pussy answered. "Im glad I can finally sneeze

and talk."

"Mother my p..pussy it talked?" Elexsis was scared stiff and

saw her mother smile.

"I know." Her mother said, "Watch" She stripped and said hello

to her crotch. "Hi"

Her pussy now talked, "Hello. How are you today?"

"Fine thank you. And you?" Her mother asked.

"I can't beleve you kept me from sneezing when you know i had

to. I love to sneeze. You know that."

"I know but Mr. Glad couldn't hear you sneeze." Her mother

said, "We would expose our selve"

"True but his Dog made me want to sneeze so badly and you must

have looked funny rubbing you crotch infront of him."

"You want to sneeze now?" Elexsis mother asked sweetly.

"Please I still feel that dog around hear." the pussy said as

Elexsis' mother picked up the pepper shaker.

"Pepper good for you?" Her mother asked.

"Sure." Her mother got some pepper in her hands and blew it

down at her pussy. "I..I think th..th.. that will do it...

aahhh.. aahhh.. SSSHHHHEEEWWWWW!!! SSHHHHEEEEWWW!!!

SSSHHEEEWWWW!"

"Bless you." Her mother said feeling aroused.

"Th.. th.. thank you AAAHHHSSSHHHEEEWWWW!! SSSHHHEEEWWW!!"

"Bless you again." Her mother said.

"Thank you." Her pussy said.

"Think you can sneeze five more?" Her mother needed it to be

over.

"AAHHH..AAHHHH... SSSHHHHEEEEWWW!! SSSHHHHEEWWW!!! SSHHEEWWW!!

AHSSHHEEEWW!!"

"AAHHH.. aaaahhh.." with each intake the erge got worse to cum

and her daughter watched to turned on to care. "Aaahhh.. aahhh..

AAAHHHSSSHHHHEEWWWW!!!" with that she cane in the chair she sat

in and cleaned her pussy off.

"GOD BLESS YOU." Elexsis mother said to her crotch and put

back on her pants. "That felt good."

"so I have to find out what my pussy is allergic to?" Elexsis

said scared and not knowing what was hapening.

"Excactly." Her mother answered as the door bell rang.

It was scot a football player that every girl wanted and he

was at her door. "I can't believe it." Elexsis got dressed and

answered the door. "Hi"

He had on a muscle shirt and his blue eyes turned her on so

much her nipples started to get hard. then it happened he had

flowers for her and walked in side the house.

"Hi. Are you okay i heard they sent you home." Scot said,

"These are for you." He handed her the flowers and then felt the

tickle in her crotch again. It was going to sneeze again and she

was already turned on to the point of no return.

"Thank you." Elexsis said. blushing.

"AAHhhh... aaahhh.. CCCHHHOOOO!!!" Scot saw her body fly up

with the force of the sneeze and then knowing it was coming from

her pussy.

"Was that your your pussy?" Scot asked studdering and some how

turned on from the sneeze.

"Yeah you know it was to." Elexsis answered and felt so turned

on it made her want him more. "You think you can message it for

me if it tries that again?"

"You bet lets go to your room." Scot grabbed her hand getting

hard as a rock from the sneeze. Sneezes always turned him on but

from a pussy it got him big time.

They entered her bed room and with out the flowers the sneezes

died down. Scot layed down on top of her as a cat entered the

room and Elexsis' pussy opened and shut with every intake.

"Aaahhh.. aaahhhh.. aahhh.." Scot rubbed up and down

Elexsis'pussy and the sneeze stopped.

"You think you could hold them in?" Scot said to Elexsis and

let go. "Try."

Elexsis knew she had nothing to do with this and saw the cat

getting closer, and taking steps toward her pussy as the sneeze

got stronger. "Aaahhh.. aahhh... aaahhhhh.." Then the cats tail

was rubed up against Elexsis' pussy.

The erge got stronger and Elexsis got the impulse to take Scot

and have him enter her before the sneeze took control. His hard

as rock penis entered her and held the sneeze down only a bit.

Then opening and shuting of the pussy got to him so much he felt

as if he would cum soon. the cat layed by them and its tail

swished around Scot's erecasion making him want to cum more and

the pussy want to sneeze.

"Aaahhh.. aahhh.. aahhh.."

"Dont sneeze." Scot said.

"aahhh.. aahhh.. AAAAHHHHHH.... CCCHHHOOOOOOO!!!" Elexsis came

with the sneeze and Scot fallowed at the same time both satisfide

and tired as Scot left and Elexsis mother entered.

"Was it good?" Elexsis smiled and nodded her head with a sigh

of relief and her mother smiled, "Don't let your father know

okay" With that her mother left the room to leave Elexsis to her

ecstasy.

[fipindustries]

my experience with my gender and my sexuality

because i think it is about fucking time i talk about this somewhere. this is a cheerful post, intimate sure, way too oversharing, certainly, but i like to think of it as joyous sharing because i feel like i can finally talk about this stuff freely and gosh ive been keeping so many things on the inside and now i just want to shout them to the world, consequences be damned

for years i have fantasized about becoming a woman. i will say it here now: i want to be a woman, i want to try it, i want to know what is like to look like one, to dress like one, to be called one, to be treated as one. if after a while i get bored of it, or tired or figure out its not my true self, or it just doesnt fit me for whatever reason then i reserve the right to back off and try something else. but for now this is my state of being and im going to share the story of how i got here.

my earliest memories of dealing with this confusion are about me reading a magazine talking about trans issues and me watching the movie “ma vie en rose” and “boys dont cry”. i was too young perhaps to be exposed to these ideas in such a candid and direct way. perhaps not mature enough to fully process or understand what i had seen, to the point that for most of my childhood i had this irrational fear that i would become a woman when i hit puberty. that my dick would just shrink into a vagina, that i would start growing tits, that i would get pregnant, etc.

i was a very unmasculine child, i didnt like sports, in fact i didnt like most typically boyish stuff. i thought muscles where gross, i thought violence and fighting was scary. i thought most boys played too rough for my taste. i was meek, shy, and a huge nerd. but i also had a strange rejection for most girly stuff. it was too soft and frilly and silly and pink and yucky. on top of all that, my understanding of trans people was mostly shaped then by drag queens and outrageous transvestites whose aesthetic, to this day, i find garish, over the top and unpleasant to look at. sorry, is just not something i identify with.

during this time i started to engage in all sorts of strange games as a child. i would start trying on my sister’s panties or my mom’s panties in the shower. i would created these elaborate scenarios where i would have all the stuffed toys in my room “kidnap” me, force me to give birth to them and then breast feed them.

cartoon shows that dealt with themes of gender bending held a powerful fascination to me, i particularly remember the fairly odd parents episode “the boy who would be queen”. i had this strange sense of love-hate relationship with it and anything on that topic where i just couldnt help to be obssessed with it but at the same time feel like it was illicit or transgressive for me to watch it.

then i hit puberty and a light switch went off. where instead of being scared or unnerved by those ideas i just kept obssessing more and more over them. i started googling everything i could about gender bending, about gynecomastia, about how to grow breasts with certain herbs or supplements. it was specifically on the breasts that i was fixated, i kept promissing myself that i would get them no matter what.

at the same time on the outside i was more than comfortable presenting myself as a boy, a geeky boy sure, but a boy all the same. i liked wearing high waisted pants, tucked in shirt and tie. i liked having short hair. i fantasized about growing a mustache. what’s more i definetly identified as a boy. i went to an all boy’s high school where we were taught stereotipicaly male things like working with heavy machinery, welding, general workshop engeneering stuff and i enjoyed all of it. i was still a huge outcast and not the manliest person but back then i figured it was because i was just a huge nerd.

i had no rejection of my body or the changes it was going through, i grew hair, limbs, genitals, etc and didnt thought much of it that i can recall, beyond a vague sense of not wanting to look too adult because it made me look too much like my dad, with whom i never had the best of relationships. beyond that socially i was a boy and had no issues fitting there.

i masturbated a lot, and a lot of those fantasies involved gender bending. usually boys growing breasts, boys being subjected to forced feminization, etc. there were other fantasies but those dont have a lot of bearing on the subject at hand. one of the things that excited me the most back then was to call myself a woman. to insist over and over that i was a girl. like the feeling that i was brainwashing myself into femminity was a huge turn on (this is why for the longest time i was convinced i was an autogynephile, and honestly, jury’s still out on that account). then, as soon as i finished i would quickly tell myself “im not a woman” as a strange way of “no homo” myself from my fantasies. i was still doing ocassional crossdressing whenever i was alone at home with my mom’s clothes, again, usually for the purposes of masturbation

i have been attracted to girls for the large majority of my life, it wouldnt be until college that i would experiment with boys too and found that i could enjoy that as well, but my main interest has always been consistently girls. yet a lot of the time my attraction towards girls would come from a place of envy. of apreciating how pretty they looked and wishing i could look that pretty myself. once i started college most of these fantasies came with me, i kept researching about gender bending and about ways i could try to gender bend myself. some times it was because of fetishistic reasons but a lot of the time was because i just found the subject inherently fascinating. it was like this that i came across a lot of information about trans people, back in like 2011 and when i first started to really understand them as a community and grapple with concepts such a gender dysphoria and such. back then i reached the conclussion that while i understood and sympathized with trans women, i was just a crossdresser because i didnt experience gender dysphoria and because i had never experienced anything even close to the feeling of “being a woman on the inside”.

what was more, it was around this time that identity politics really started to get traction, things like “die cis scum”, “yes all men”, “white men tears” etc started to be thrown around and, as someone who had been identifying as male for his entire life, i felt personally attacked by most of it. an immature reaction on hindsight, but a reaction that cemented in my mind the idea that i was a man and there were no buts or ifs about it.

i kept crossdressing, i kept fantasizing, i kept fetishizing. i even experiemented with auto hypnosis because i was realizing more and more that i was never going to be able to truly make my fantasy about becoming a woman real so was was willing to try anything that would get me even close to it. i cross dressed because i liked the way i looked, i liked the way the clothes felt against my skin, i liked the feeling of trying on a different role, one that was forbidden to me. as time went on i stated doing it less and less because of the sexual gratification and more for its own sake.

then the crisis came.

i wrote about this before, i saw a bunch of people i knew coming out of the closet at an advanced age, people like jacob chapman, the wachowsky sisters, even reading about the story of how allison bechdel. the idea of someone figuring out their identity way into their adulthood shattered my world view and it introduced me the possibility that i might be in the same situation, which led me to panic. all the crossdressing, the fascination with gender bending and with trans issues were strongly suggestive if nothing else, but back then i was just not ready at all to confront those possibilities so i supressed like a mad man.

three years later, here i am. during those three years i slowly and gradually came to grips the possibility, slowly losing my fear of what i might lose if i came out of the closet, slowly examining my self and comparing my story with the story of others in the community. finding differences but also finding a lot of similarities. for the longest time my trans ex girlfriend would insist that i was very much not trans because a lot of my experiences were very different from hers, such as the fact that i never had issues inhabiting the rol of a boy whereas her dysphoria had been strong enough to the point of suicidal tendencies for most of her life.

one of my biggest concerns had always been the fact that i had heard from many trans people that their dysphoria hadnt really kicked in until after they started transitioning. as in, once they started trying to look like women then they realized how far away they were from truly being one, making what until then had been a vague feeling of discomfort into a true rejection of their own body. but then on the other hand there was also the real possibility that i would end up having a mental breakdown once i hit my fifties after years of repression and by that point i would look like just an old man in a wig

i think what finally made me tip over the edge were the contra points videos and the reddit community egg_irl. i just identified too much with what i saw there, and breaking up with my gf had left me free to explore those feelings without fear of ruining my relationship. so where does that leave me?

still confused, but no longer scared of the answers. willing to give this and honest go and see where it takes me. im still not ready to call myself a trans girl with all the letters. i understand that gender is complicated but i would really appreciate a unified theory of gender to help me make heads or tails of what i am and what i am feeling beyond vague notions about “the spectrum” and “social roles”. i guess i could be considered gender fluid as of right now but honestly that label doesnt mean that much to me on a practical sense considering i am still presenting my self as a boy in my every day life with one or two exceptions

i have a lot of work ahead of me and for once i am excited about doing it right.

[hey-hey-chan]

Grincherella - Chan

❀ Comedy/fluff/romance with a dash of angst (Cinderella AU)

❀ Word count: 9, 284 

❀ It is THAT time of year again, yes, Christmas season and y/n seems to hate everything and anyone who talks about it. Once she is forced to attending a Christmas party, she is forced to sing, onstage, with the cute boy in her psych class. But the thing is: he doesn’t recognize her. Will she finally let go of her troubled past and present or will she let her insecurities haunt her forever?

❀ A/N: ummmm a mix between Cinderella and High School Musical ? idk what i was thinking but i felt nostalgic i guess .,,, this is the longest fic i’ve EVER written pLEASE dont let this flop AHAHAHA /sweats/ but i also feel bad for making u sit through 9k words /sweats again/ so do what u want i guess

P.S I LOVE YOU ALL! this is a treat for you guys who have been missing my writing!! now im on break so im back in the game !! 

---------

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!” I suddenly got a puff of snow to the face, which made me crinkle my red nose in disgust. “Y/N!!” I slammed my book shut and glared at the boy.

“What?” Jisung giggled and sat on the bench next to me. 

“It’s funny.” 

“What’s so funny about throwing wet snow in someone’s face when they’re trying to read.” I pointed at my book exaggeratedly, a signal for him to leave. He didn’t take it. 

Jisung fixed his scarf, making sure it knocked into my face as usual. He then proceeded to scooch closer to me, which was the final line. “Jisung? What’s your deal? What do you want?” I finally caved. The boy only came to me when he is bored, wants him, or is bored; all in that order. Don’t get me wrong, he was my best friend, but sometimes I just wanted to punch him in the face. 

He chuckled and kicked his feet in the snow. I noted they were adorned with new black snow boots. “I don’t know, I’m just in the Christmas spirit I guess.” I crinkled my nose. “Oh c’mon, I still don’t get why you don’t like Christmas so much. That’s like... illegal.” I rolled my eyes at his exaggeration. 

“Just ‘cause everyone else likes it, doesn’t mean I have to.” I slammed my book shut and looked at the boy in the eyes. “So, it would be great if you would stop pestering me about it because you’re not going to change my mind.”

I got up from the bench and started to walk off to my next class, already starting my day off feeling irritated. 

It wasn’t like I hated Christmas, I just hated when people started to be fake because of is. Kids would act nicer to their parents and relatives to get more money and loot for the winter, but return to the devilish children they are when January rolls around. Cuffing season starts and then couples start to pop up, only for the intent of getting gifts and a “cute” Christmas romance for the holidays. Then, their forced relationship ends. Everything about this season was fake, fake, and more fake. 

And I like real. 

I stopped by a coffee shop and ordered my usual drink: black coffee. It tasted bitter, but I liked the harsh taste of it. It woke me up. 

I walked into my early psychology class and took a seat at the back, my usual spot. I immediately was greeted to the group of loud and rambunctious students who sat in the front row. I groaned internally but simply leaned back in my chair and plugged in my earbuds. 

Suddenly, I felt a presence beside me and out of reflex, I took my earbuds out.

“Good morning, y/n.” I immediately smiled at his cheeky voice.

“Morning, Chan.” The light haired boy frowned and gave me the famous dimple that killed all the girls on campus. Besides me of course. 

“Aw, not even a good in front of that? Now how am I supposed to know what kind of morning I should have?” He pouted, tugging off his scarf and beanie since the room we were in was overly heated. 

I scoffed and shook my head. “What’s so good about it, dude? Our final is today and I feel like death himself.” I joked. It was true, our final was today, and yes, I felt horrible, but even I couldn’t help myself from feeling giddy about the end of the year. 

Chan smile and leaned closer to my desk. “Aw c’mon, y/n, it’s almost Chris-” 

I groaned and made a motion to put my earbuds back in. “I swear to God, if I hear one more person talk bout Christmas, I’m going to explode.” I sighed. Chan broke out into cheerful laughter, like he always does, and shook his head at my reaction.

“You know, you’re the only person I’ve ever met who hates Christmas so much. How can you hate it?? Everyone’s in a better mood, everyone’s in a relationship so you don’t have to run away from boys anymore-” He nudged me jokingly while I rolled my eyes. “And plus, you love peppermint.” 

I nodded, affirming he made a good point. “Ok, you’re right, I do love peppermint.” He was about to give me the cheekiest smile but I cut him off. “BUT, I hate that everyone is so happy this season when I swear everyone looked like they were about to cut me in half in the other 11 months. Plus, my devil for step siblings are shitloads nicer in December but once it hits New Years, all of a sudden they’re stealing my stuff again and pretending to be each other, ‘cause you know...”

“Twins.” He finished my sentence. I nodded and fiddled with my necklace. 

I’ll admit, ever since my dad got remarried, it had never been the same. It’s not like I hated my step mom... all the time... but she wasn’t mom. My mom had always treated me like an adult, even when I wasn’t. I had matured faster than all the kids in my grade, and always had felt like an old soul compared to everyone else. 

Mom used to let me have a sip of her eggnog, that had a little bit of burbon in it, and it wasn’t a big deal. But in my stepmom’s house, it wasn’t allowed, neither was running up the stairs or listening to the music while walking because I could “trip”. I had the same rules as her children, and it was irritating at times. Ok all the time. 

“Hm, well I hope that some day a person will change that for you.” Chan said melodramatically. I chuckled comfortingly, but I knew that would never happen. No one could do Christmas like my mom. 

“Just like how Chaeyoung did that for you?” I teased. His pale cheeks turned a soft red color, blending into his red sweated. I laughed even harder. “Oh come on, you cannot still be embarrassed about your girlfriend, you’ve been dating for a month now.”

Chan tsked and slumped back in his chair. “See, you said two completely different things. Chaeyoung is not my girlfriend, but we are dating. Different. People who have dated someone can understand the difference.” He teased. Usually that would offend people, but I let the insult roll off my back. 

“You act like it’s a bad thing I’ve never dated, it’s normal, weirdo. Also, I know you Chan, and I know that you’re a hopeless romantic who just started ‘dating’ someone because it’s cuffing season and you want someone to hold your hand in the snow at night.” I spat back. 

Before he could say anything, the teacher walked in, signaling the start of the final. I got out my number 2 pencils and gave a thumbs up to Chan.

“Good luck.” I whispered.

“Break a leg.” 

------

“Finally!!” I screamed into my house when I got home. Finals season was officially over and winter break had commenced. I flung my backpack into my room and plopped down on my bed. My back had ached from carry my backpack around everywhere and from the unneeded stress from school. It was finally time to relax. 

Suddenly, I heard a slight buzz to my left. I groaned and looked at the text message. 

It was from my stepmom, saying ‘will be home late today, theres some shrimp in the fridge, u can make pasta’. 

Well, that was a long vacation. 

I rolled out of bed and threw on a flannel, ready to cook some pasta. It wasn’t hard, but I just hated deshelling shrimp. It was time consuming, even though shrimp was one of my favorite foods, I would rather someone else cook it for me to be honest. 

After I cleaned the shrimp, I got out the pasta, preparing all my ingredients before I had to start actually cooking something. But before I could do that, I heard my phone ring. 

I rolled my eyes at the caller ID: Han Jisung, aka, Han Solo in my phone. 

“What.” I answered. 

“So....” He paused. I rolled my eyes

“Jisung, I’m cooking dinner, just get on with it.” I heard rustling in the back ground, which meant he was laying down in bed. Lucky him.

“Fine, fine, so, you know how I’m going to that holiday party thing tomorrow that’s for like 3 days and 2 nights right?” I nodded, but realized he couldn’t see me.

“Yup, why, you need me to watch Pepper?” 

“Nope, my sister said she can take him for the days I’m gone, but anyways, my friend, he really needs a date and he-” 

“Jisung, no-” 

“Ok, so I already knew you would say no, so I already said ye-” 

“YOU DID WHAT?” I screamed into the phone. 

I could feel my heart beat pick up in panic and I had to set down my phone to calm down. “Ok, ok y/n, I know what you’re thinking and I’m really sorry but-” 

“No you’re not Jisung, you love this don’t you? UGH, why do you always have to set me up with people?” I felt whiny but I couldn’t help myself. I hated when anyone, especially Jisung, tried to set me up on dates. They always ended terribly where either I, or the dude, was awkward or the thing just never clicked. 

Most of the dudes weren’t even friend material for me, it was a terrifying experience. 

“Ok, but look, this time, the dude is really a good guy. He’s funny, talkative, charming, attractive, good at singing-” 

“Oh then why don’t you just date him?” I mocked. Jisung made a whiny noise and said “Y/n, please, you know I’m already going with Naeun, I made a commitment!” 

I stared at the bowl of dead shrimp, wishing I could be that chill for one day. “God Jisung, you know how uncomfortable this makes me, why would you do this?” I finally said after a long time of silence. 

He sighed and I knew he truly felt guilty. “Ok, I swear I’m really, really sorry. But this time, I think this guy is at least a good friend match for you. Plus, he’s my friend, so he’s got to be a good friend for you, right??” 

“Please y/n? I’ll make it up to you I promise!” 

I tapped my foot rapidly, trying to make a decision quickly.

“Jisung, even if I say yes, my stepmom is a whole nother story. I need to watch the twins, remember?” 

Jisung sighed like he had forgot I had siblings. I guess it was even a new thing for me sometimes, even though it had been seven years. 

“Ok, fine, if she says yes, are you game?” 

“Game.” I muttered. He squealed in delight. “But don’t think I’m not mad at you, ok? I’m still mad.” I pouted, even though I couldn’t really be mad at him when I had just finished finals. My world seemed like it was so much calmer now, yet it never got exciting in the first place. 

“Ok, ok, I’ll make it up to you, all of it! It’ll be great, we’ll have so much fun! AAAH!” 

I hung up the phone before he could convince me to do anything else. I sighed, opening the box of pasta.

“What have I gotten myself into?” 

-----------

Once I was done with the pasta, I heard the door unlock, soon followed by rambunctious screaming and yelling.

“Heeyoung!! I can’t believe you asked Jake for his number, I called dibs first!” 

“Oh shut up, he was way into me anyways.” 

Suddenly, I heard some sort of wrestling on the ground. 

“Girls, girls, c’mon now, you both can have Jake! Remember, if you guys behave, then I’ll get you two new phones.” At the mention of a new phone, the girls both shut up immediately. 

The girls were twelve years old now as Hanna, my stepmom, already had them with her previous marriage. At 12, I never remembered being so spoiled and entitled, it was disturbing to say the least. 

“Oh, y/n, is dinner done?” She said like she just noticed my presence. I nodded and flicked off the stove. 

“Yup, just finished cooking, you guys eat first, I’m not hungry.” I lied. I was starving, but I hated eating with them and I knew they would rather eat with my as well. That’s just how things worked in this household. 

“Ok, you go upstairs then.” Hanna’s attention then turned to her girls who were trying their hardest to not tear out each other’s hair. It was hilarious and sad all the same time. 

Before I could go upstairs, I heard the doorbell ring, which meant Jisung was here. 

“It’s Jisung!” I called out to the table and they didn’t really pay me any attention besides the two girls who were giggling. Yes, I knew they had a crush on Jisung. Yes, it was weird. 

I threw the door open and saw the boy all bundled up in his bright white winter jacket. I raised a brow. “You’re really gonna-”

Before I could finish, he walked into the house and went right up to my mom, who adored him, only because Jisung was rich, funny, nice, and good looking. 

“Jisung! You’re here, oh gosh, did you have dinner? I made dinner, go ahead and have some.” I wanted to correct her lie, but it would do nothing except make me feel awkward. Jisung raised a brow at me but said nothing either.

“Oh no thank you, I just had dinner at my house. But, I just came over to ask you a very important question, Hanna.” I could tell my stepmom loved the attention and was already blushing. God, I hate Jisung and love him all at the same time. 

“Of course, darling.” She cooed at him, her botox hindering her from smiling widely. 

Jisung smiled and brushed his hair out of his face. “So, there was this little get-together thing that I wanted to bring y/n to, and it’s only for a couple nights and-” 

Hanna shook her head and set her fork down loudly. “Jisung, honey, you cannot ask for stuff like that. I like you a lot but you know y/n needs to stay home and watch the girls. I work and can’t be tied down all day.” 

Jisung feigned sadness, which I knew hit some pity points for Hanna. “Hanna, please, it’s a holiday party and-” 

Hanna scoffed. “Ok, we both know y/n hates anything Christmas, she’s the grinch in girl form.” 

“Ok, yes, but she promised me she would go because it won’t just be about Christmas, but about meeting new people, and hanging out in a nice lodge. So please, can she go, only for a few nights?” 

I felt my heart thump rapidly, for some reason, hoping she’ll say yes. I shook away the thought as quickly as it came; I hated Christmas and the snow and the mountains, which is what I would be facing if I went to this party.

“Well...” 

Everyone’s ears peaked up to hear her answer.

“Well, y/n shouldn’t make promises she can’t keep.” Hanna continued to down her dinner and Jisung turned his head to shake his head in failure. I smirked and shrugged my shoulders. 

“Sorry Jisung, it’s just that me and the girls are going to this huge Christmas party tomorrow night as well and I need someone to watch the dog. You know how they get.” Hanna lied lamely and took a bite of shrimp, that was her favorite food as well. “But that’s ok, y/n hates Christmas anyways, I’m sure you can make cooler and better friends at the party anyways.” 

Five years ago, those words would’ve hurt me, but now they were just annoying. I couldn’t wait til I finished college and didn’t have to depend on her for college tuition. I wasn’t like the normal girls in the fairytales; I wasn’t exceptionally smart and heading to Princeton or an amazing dancer like Selena Gomez, I was just... me. 

Jisung didn’t stick around to hear her annoying jabber and made up some excuse. “Well, my mom is expecting me home and I need to pack me for my trip. It was nice seeing you guys.” The all waved to him as I just shrugged at him as he left. He looked defeated in the moment, but with the evil glint in his eyes, I could tell this wasn’t over. 

------

“Don’t forget to feed Princess!! She needs some real food too so just cook her some fried rice, ok!?” 

“OK!” The door shut loudly, signaling I finally had the house to myself. 

I covered my mouth with a yawn, feeling warm and cozy in my flannel pajamas. My hair was tied loosely into two braids. 

“Thank God I don’t have to go out tonight,” I whispered to myself. I felt bad that Jisung had to go to this event by himself since his girlfriend was going with a group of friends. But I didn’t feel bad enough to go. 

I pulled out my guitar and started to strum lightly on the strings. I never could play and sing when they were home; the twins always complained about my music being too loud when they were studying, even though they never studied. 

“All I hear is raindrops

 Falling on the rooftop 

Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go 

Cause this pain I feel 

It wont go away 

And today I’m officially missing you”

I gently strummed the strings on my guitar, feeling the groove of the music. 

Breaking my magic, I heard my phone buzz. I set my guitar down on my bed and looked at my phone. 

‘open your window’ -jisung

I scoffed and popped open my window and somehow, Jisung jumped inside my room. That’s what I get for not chopping down that humongous tree I guess.

“Jisung... what the hell are you doing here?” I finally asked in confusion. “You’re gonna be late to the party.” I deadpanned slowly. Jisung shrugged off all the snow on his body, leaving my carpet wet. He was dressed with raggedly clothes and a black mask over his face. Of course he would go as a ninja. For some reason, the party planner decided that the ball should be a Christmas costume party... interesting. 

“HEY, asshole, what do you-”

“You know, I love hearing you sing, why don’t you do it in front of-.” My cheeks were now as red as cherries from the anger and compliment. 

“Jisung, what are you doing here?” He shrugged and adjusted his mask.

“Well, um, so we are gonna go to that party.”

I paused at his words and stared at him in silence. 

“No... I’m not going because you couldn’t convince Hanna. Done deal, bye!” I tried to shove him out, but obviously I wasn’t strong enough. 

“Y/n, y/n, listen, listen.” I crossed my arms at the desperation in his voice. “The girls and Hanna are all gone tonight, and probably tomorrow morning-”

“Jisung, they’re coming home at one am, and it takes an hour to just get to the location of your party, and maybe even longer in the snow. I’m not gonna risk it.” I walked away from him, hoping he wouldn’t follow. 

“Y/n, for Pete’s sake, you never do anything bad or even a little rebellious. You stick to rules and you stick to routine, and yes, I know it’s ‘cause of your mom-”

“She’s not my mom.”

“Right, sorry, I mean Hanna, she controls you but she’s finally not here! That’s gotta be a sign, right??” He spoke with such a desperation that I almost felt sorry for him, and myself, but what could I do? I was stuck here until she came back!

“Jisung, really, I can’t just sneak out, what if she catches me? There goes my college tuition and I can’t even finish college and become a choir teacher like I’ve always wanted. It’s just... I don’t wanna risk it.” I said lamely. 

For a few moments, Jisung was silent, which was extremely rare. He sat on my bed, making it creak slightly. I felt like the atmosphere was tense, even though I didn’t know why. 

“I just... you never take chances y/n, the party is gonna be amazing and all I want is my best friend there.” I sighed and patted him on the head. 

“Jisung, I’m not Cinderella, I can’t sneak out of the house and get back before one.” At those words, he shot up and stared at me.

“You know what? If Cinderella can do it, we can! We can just leave the party at midnight and then we’ll make it home before one, I swear on it. It’s not like the road is crowded when it’s that late anyways.”

I laid in bed, the plan not sounding too bad when he said it that way.I tried to protest, but I had little fight left since he was making such a good argument. 

“I don’t even have a costume.” I mumbled lamely. He raised a brow and gave me his signature smirk. “Oh what this time, Jisung?” 

-----

Before I could comprehend what we were doing, we were sorting through my closet and dug out something I never thought I would be pulling out. 

“Really, my mom’s wedding dress... why.” I spoke, but I was quite breathless. I couldn’t imagine wearing something so beautiful. 

Jisung shook the top off the box and shrugged. “It’s perfect for the winter and perfect for a costume as well. You know your mom, she loved...”

I smiled sadly. “Yeah, she loved winter and Christmas.” I mumbled quietly, but I lost my voice once I saw the dress. I covered my mouth and pulled out the outfit. 

“You’re trying that on now.” Jisung yelped. 

I took my time trying on the dress; as I stared at myself in the mirror, I was astonished by the detailing.

It was a beautiful, pale white dress that was adorned in glitter and sparkles. There were small flowers which resembled snowflakes that fell over the poofy skirt. The cut wasn’t too low, but wasn’t too high either. The sleeves were decked out in glitter, and somehow, it fit me perfectly.

“Y/n, we don’t have all day now!” I hurried up and walked out. As he caught sight of me, he dropped my phone. “Damn, you look so much like your mom.” He whispered. Jisung was one of my only friends who had known me when my mom was still alive and that’s probably why he was still friends with me, because I wasn’t the nicest person after she passed. 

“Ok, hurry up, Grincherella, we’re getting in the car.” 

-------

This was the most fun I’d ever had. We were jamming out to classics in the car and not caring who were waking up. 

Jisung turned down the music and shouted to tell me something.

“Oh yeah, that guy who I sold you out too? He doesn’t need a date anymore, I felt really bad so I told him you weren’t looking for a serious date and he said he’d rather go alone anyways. So now we get to party together, WOOP!” He shouted turned up the music again. I almost forgot about my so-called date and now I was happy I didn’t have one. I could just hide in the corner and eat all the food they had.

Soon, we arrived at the venue, and I couldn’t even hide that it was beautiful. There was a fountain up front that was decked out in Christmas decor. There was a machine that projected snowflakes on the building that made the snow around us stand out. And also, it was huge. 

“Oh shit.” Jisung suddenly said. I turned to him in surprise.

“What??” 

“I forgot a mask for you.” He mumbled. I shrugged. 

“That’s fine, I don’t really need one.” I noted. He glared at me. 

“That’s a lie, hold on, lemme pull out my party box.” I was about to question what that was until the boy pulled out a box from the back seat and started to rummage through it. “YES!” He said pulling out a black mask that was lacey and probably too beautiful for me to wear. “Ok, it’s not white like I wanted it to be, but... hmhmmh hold on.” 

I groaned as he pulled out a paintbrush and some white paint and glitter. “Hold still.” Before I could question him, he put on my mask and started to draw white swiggle lines from the mask and out. He layered silver glitter on me and brushed some glitter all around my face and neck. 

“I love being friends with an art major.” He let out a chuckle and threw the art stuff in the box. 

“You look hot, I hope you get laid tonight or else this all will be in vain.” I rolled my eyes.

“Please, I’d be lucky to even get someone to stare at me.” Jisung laughed and helped me out of the car. The cold air hit my arms, making them erupt with goosebumps. 

“Oh they’ll be staring all right. Now c’mon!” 

-----

If the outside was already wild, the inside was even crazier. Music was blaring through the speakers, people were grinding on each other and I’m sure some people were blatantly just making out. This is why I never leave my house.

“C’mon grinch, at least look alive.” I rolled my eyes and tried to hide myself as stares started to come my way. “Don’t look so nervous, they’re looking ‘cause you’re h o t.” I slapped his arm and chuckled, feeling nervous at all the attention.

Before the two of us could get far, I felt Jisung being pulled away from me. 

“JISUNG! Baby!” I looked to my side and saw all of Jisung’s friends. Naeun had pulled him into a deep kiss, one that I felt awkward to look at. 

“Oh hey, y/n, you look so pretty!” Naeun greeted happily, opening her arms for a hug. Honestly, I never liked the girl, but she was a good fake nice I guess. I smiled widely at her and hugged her back. 

“You look stunning as well!” I exclaimed. “All of you guys look really cool.” I complimented to the entire group. 

“You look hot too, y/n, who knew you could dress up so well?” One of the boys exclaimed, making me feel a bit embarrassed. Jisung rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, let’s go get some drinks.” As they all went to get drinks, I pulled Jisung back. 

“No drinks until after you’re back at the party, I am not going to die or kill anybody when sitting in a car with you, got it?” The boy nodded and gulped, knowing I would actually run over him if he drove under the influence. 

The rest of the night moved by slowly, until the party started to pick up at 11. 

“OK GUYS, EVERYBODY ON THE DANCE FLOOR!” A crowd of people started to swarm into the middle of the venue, making me feel restricted and uncomfortable. In the corner of my eye, I saw Naeun pull Jisung into the crowd, leaving me to fend for myself. 

Great, I expected this. 

I immediately stepped back and found a way out of the crowd and ending up in the corner, like I had imagined. 

“Stupid Jisung, forcing me to come out here.” I pulled out my phone that showed I only had 30 minutes left. Suddenly, the DJ stopped played music and another due stepped on the stage. 

“Ok people, so tonight, like usual, it’s our annual karaoke night! Since most people hate singing in front of people, it’s best that we have our costumes on tonight am I right?!” The crowed screamed and whooped. It was a gigantic crowd, probably the most people I’ve seen together in my entire life. Ok that’s a lie but still. 

I drowned out the rest of the yelling and went back to my phone, mindlessly watching food videos online until someone had sat next to me. I tried to ignore the person, but he kept getting closer and closer, and me? I got further and further.

“Hi.” The dude stated. I looked over to him and noticed he was dressed as a mummy. Clever. Not. 

“Um, hi.” I said to not be rude. I shouldn’t assume he was hitting on me, maybe he just wanted to be friends.

“You’re beautiful, what is a girl like you sitting here alone?” Ok scratch that precious thought. I rolled my eyes and scooted away. 

“’Cause I want to?” I spat back. Before the creepy guy could advance even more, the strobe lights started to go crazy. 

“SO PEOPLE! Who wants to sing first?!” Numerous people were screaming and others were shoving their friends forward. I somewhat enjoyed the multiple people becoming targets. 

“ME ME!” I heard being screamed louder than anyone else. I watched as a blonde haired boy jumped onstage. His back was facing my side, but I could tell he was dressed as Prince Charming. 

“Well, Chan, isn’t it time we’ve seen you again?” Chan and the MC hugged.

Wait... Chan ...

My heart raced faster at the realization when the boy turned around. He had a white mask over the top of his face, but I could recognize that face anymore. 

“Oh shit.” 

“For those who don’t know, Chan is the best singer we have here and he’s here every year, what a guy! Without him, most of the girls wouldn’t even show up AHAHAHA” The MC laughed loudly into the mic and I flinched back to cover my ears. 

Suddenly, Chan’s eyes danced across mine, giving me a mini heart attack. I locked eyes with him, unsure of what I wanted him to do. After a few moments, he just looked away, making the whole interaction anti-climatic. 

Wow, he doesn’t recognize me.

I felt part relief that he wouldn’t make me in a wedding dress and attending a holiday party a big deal. But part sadness that a person I considered my friend couldn’t even recognize me when I was dressed as something else. 

“Well, let’s stop the chatter and get this party started! You know how it goes, you start with a duet first to break the ice!” The crowd oohed and awed while I just wanted the clock to hit midnight as soon as possible. 

“So what’s gonna happen is that this light.” The MC pointed to a giant yellow light that seemed quite intimidating. “Is going to land on one of you lucky people who is going to get to sing with Chan, ok? Everyone excited??” Screams erupted even though I knew someone who was probably a crappy singer would get picked. 90% of these people were drunk and the other 10% were drunk AND high.

Suddenly, the light started to wave everywhere, blinding everyone’s eyes. 

“Chan, you get the honor of yelling stop!” Chan took the mic gladly and closed his eyes. Typical Chan. 

Before I could take off running, the light landed right on my face, warming my entire body from head to toe. 

“STOP!” He yelled loudly. I felt my vision blur as everyone in the room turned and looked at me. 

Fuck, shit, fuck.

“Wow, lucky Chan, choosing his Cinderella for a partner! C’mon up here, miss!” I felt my heart throb immensely as I forced myself to stand. Ok, I’m just gonna run it’s fine-

Suddenly, a group of people started to usher me to the stage, which I started to protest, but it was no use. I wobbled up on stage and tried to not look at the looming crowd.

“Well, well, aren’t you two the perfect couple? You even have matching outfits!” I glanced over to Chan shyly, and avoided all eye contact. Still, even standing so close, he couldn’t tell who I was. I guess I had never dressed up or put on makeup, and I had tons of detailing on my face so whatever.

“So, what song do you want to sing?” The MC asked me. I grew nervous, as I hadn’t chosen a song.

I turned to Chan and gestured for him to choose. Chan gave me a small smile. 

“Sorry, the guest has to choose, but whatever you choose is fine with me.” I felt my face blush with his words and I was suddenly thankful I had a mask on. I felt more empowered with it on as no one would know who I was. Except for Jisung and his friends of course. Oh shit, I wonder how Jisung is reacting to this. 

“Um, ok, h-how about... Rewrite the Stars?” 

The MC clapped his hands and suddenly music started to gear up. I felt my palms get sweaty and my dress started to feel too big for my small pride. The lights dimmed and the venue turned dark, probably for dramatic effect. If I knew that this happened at these events, I would have not have gone. But it’s too late now. 

“You can do it!” I heard from the audience. I almost smiled at Jisung’s yell, but I was too nervous for that. 

The spotlight focused on Chan, making him look more ethereal than before. 

“You know I want you. It’s not a secret I try to hide.” I heard Chan’s voice fill the room, melting the heart’s of all the girls around us.

I knew Chan had an amazing voice, but with him staring right at me while he was singing was a little too intense for me. I smiled gently as his singing, but then he sang the next line to the audience, which showed he knew how to own the stage. The embellishments on his shoulders dazzled in the light, making his shoulders look broader than usual. 

“it’s up to you, and it's up to me No one can say what we get to be So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours Tonight.”

Shit, shit, it’s my turn real soon. 

My brain turned off and I only reacted on instinct now. My palms drenched the mic and made my grip tighter, but still slippery. I closed my eyes at the light focused on me and opened my mouth.

“You think it’s easy, you think I don’t wanna run to you?” The first note was shaky, yet filled with more composure than I imagined. 

“But there are mountains, and there are doors that we can’t walk through.” Slowly, I opened my eyes and turned, finally gaining confidence. I stared at Chan who was already watching me with steady eyes. 

Soon, it came to the duet, 

“All I want is to fly with you All I want is to fall with you So just give me all of you”

“It’s feels impossible.”

“It’s not impossible”

“Is it impossible?”

“Say that it’s possible?” Our voices blended smoother than expected, making the crowd ooh and ah. I couldn’t deny that I felt the connection too as he made his way over to me, getting into the song. 

I felt him grab my hand,

“No one can say what we get to be Why don't we rewrite the stars? Changing the world to be ours”

I could hear his breathing so closely. His palm was quiet sweaty from holding the mic, but our hands felt so perfect together. 

Finally, I ended the song,

“You know I want you It's not a secret I try to hide”

I let go of his hand for dramatic effect, 

“But I can't have you We're bound to break and My hands are tied”

The lights turned black, and then right back on when cheers and clapping started to erupt. Once the lights turned back on, I felt the anxiety ride in my stomach again. 

We were still about 10 inches apart from each other. Chan’s eyes were stuck on me; the intensity was almost enough to cut right through me. 

He looked stunning in the dim light; his blonde hair was neatly done and his face was shiny from all the sweat, but he still looked beautiful. 

Damn, what am I thinking? I thought. 

Suddenly, he cracked a smile. “Hey, you’re a really amazing singer... but you also sound quite familiar. Have we ever met?” I smelt the alcohol on his breath, making me crinkle my nose in disgust. 

My heart pounded as I thought of answers to say. 

“Uhh, um, no? Not that I remember.” 

I saw his famous dimple splash onto his face, which sent butterflies in my stomach. What the hell am I feeling-

I saw him lick his lips and peer above us. I raised a brow and followed his stare. The crowd started whooping and hollering as our eyes landed at the thing hovering above us.

“Huh, mistletoe.” I felt my heart thump in anticipation as he leaned much closer to me. “Is this ok?” He whispered against my lips. I answered him by finally connecting out lips. 

Suddenly, the rest of the crowd disappeared and it was just us. 

Just me and Chan.

He pressed deeper into me, letting me taste the alcohol on his lips. I tried to not focus on the alcohol, letting myself fall deeply into the kiss. He pulled away slowly, confusing me. 

Gently, he made a move to take off my mask. Hypnotized by how close he was, I couldn’t move until I felt my phone buzz. We both flinched back at the loud alarm. 

It was midnight. 

Meaning it was time to go. 

“Um, I’m so sorry, I have to go!” I ran down the stage, not looking back, even when he yelled “WAIT!” I could NOT be late to getting home.

I ran towards the entrance and saw Jisung already there. His eyes widened.

“We are going to have a long talk, but let’s go!” I turned back, big mistake, and saw Chan looking for me. I pushed Jisung out the door in a hurry and we both started to run towards the car.

“So, uh, wanna tell me what the fuck was that?!” Jisung panted as he got into the car and immediately started the engine.

“Jisung, I wish I could say but I HAVE NO CLUE.” I emphasized. I tossed off my mask as the thing was starting to itch like hell. 

Jisung groaned and started the car. “So are we just gonna ignore how you made out with one of my friends on stage?” I turned to him with wide eyes. 

“Wait, did you just say that Chan was one of your friends?” Jisung rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I did. We’ve known each other for years, he’s Changbin’s older cousin and we hang out like all the time. How the hell do you know Chan? ‘Cause no way would you let a stranger make out with you on stage, even if he was hot.” I gulped and shook my head in disbelief.

“We were in the same psychology class and we sit, sat, next to each other.” I mumbled. I fiddled with my hair nervously, unsure of where our relationship stood now. Oh wait, he doesn’t even know that was you, you’re still just classmates., ex classmates.  “And he didn’t recognize me, so I’m just going to forget this ever happened.” 

Jisung scoffed. “Oh hell no, that was the most intense thing I’ve ever seen you do. You’re an amazing singer, y/n, I don’t know why you hide it all the time. Plus, you had SO much sexual tension on stage.” I slapped his arm as he cackled. “You know why this is so funny?” I shook my head as he continued “it’s hilarious because Chan was the dude I was going to set you up with but cancelled.” 

Suddenly, all the thoughts flooded back to me. 

“Oh my god, that was Chan? Oh shit, wait, that means him and Chaeyoung aren’t seeing each other anymore?” Then I realized, I had kissed Chan, knowing he was dating someone else. But I guess I forgot. But how could I have forgotten that? “Fuck, I didn’t know that Jisung, that means I kissed him and he could have been dating Chaeyoung! I am a terrible person.” I screamed into my dress. Jisung sighed and shoved me slightly to knock some sense into me. 

“Jesus Christ, y/n, it’s fine! They were never serious and Chaeyoung wasn’t that into him anyways, she was dating other people without Chan knowing, that’s why they broke up. You know Chan, hopeless romantic, he was devastated either way.” I closed my eyes in anger. Jisung was terrible at making things better. But I couldn’t focus on whatever their relationship was right now when such an intense thing happened.

“Well, it’s whatever anyways. He didn’t know it was me and in his eyes, that’s the last time he’ll ever see me again. And technically it is the last time I’ll see him because we don’t have a class together anymore. It’s done, over.” I said turning up the radio, but Jisung turned it back down. 

“Y/n, you cannot just ignore this! He was so into you!” I shook my head. 

“He doesn’t even know me! It’s whatever Jisung, he’ll probably forget about it the next day or give up some time over another. This conversation is over.” I made a statement by turning up the radio, the conversation truly ending this time.

-----

The days went by so slowly. My thoughts couldn’t help but constantly be surrounded by Chan, thinking about what he was doing, if he still was pining over me. 

*ding dong*

I heard my doorbell ring unexpectedly, making me jump out of my bed quickly. I pulled a hoodie over my tanktop and walked downstairs. Weird, I wasn’t expecting anybody. 

I pulled open the door, “hello-”

My heart stopped and so did everything else around me as I looked at the person standing at the door.

“Oh my god?? y/n??” Chan exclaimed, going in for that weird dude hand shake. I patted him on the back and pulled away, feigning a happy surprise.

“Wow, um, what are you doing here Chan?” I exclaimed. He was wearing a turtleneck with a long jacket, my favorite outfit on him.

“Jisung sent me here saying that I needed to pick up something?” I rolled my eyes and closed the door, letting him into my house. Weird. 

“Yeah, um, follow me.” I walked to the kitchen with him behind me and picked up the baggie of peppermint bark. I placed it in Chan’s hands while he looked at me with confused eyes. “It’s his dad’s favorite and Jisung asks me to make it every year and on his dad’s birthday because his dad likes mine the most. Of course his dad thinks Jisung makes it, but whatever makes him happy.” I shrugged.

Chan laughed and shook his head. “Wow, that’s so Jisung!” We both chuckled at the joke but then there was a silence. 

“So, uh, I should ask how you know Jisung but he talks a dude named Chan sometimes and I’m assuming that’s you?” I feigned innocence. Chan nodded. 

“Yeah! I’m Changbin’s, his neighbor, cousin, so we see each other a lot.” I nodded as we slowly walked to the door again.

“Well, I guess I should apologize on Jisung’s behalf for making you come here just to pick up peppermint bark. He’s an idiot and tries to set me with random dudes sometimes.” I rolled my eyes as Chan laughed.

“Wow, we both think you need to start dating, hmmm. Time to start searching.” I couldn’t help myself from feeling a bit hurt from him wanting me to date someone else, I guess I shouldn’t expect anything from him anyways.

I forced a chuckled and shook my head. “Nah, not into the whole dating game, sorry.” I waved him goodbye as he opened the door. He turned to leave, but looked back at me.

“You know, you’re fun to talk to. We should hang out sometime.” I raised a brow, knowing that was never going to happen. 

“I guess, yeah.” I noted lamely. Chan squinted his eyes at me and laughed.

“Wow, trying to spare my feelings now?” I blushed, caught in a lie. He just laughed though. “It’s fine, y/n. I know where you live now so you can’t escape me.” He laughed as he playfully punched my shoulder. 

As he stepped out the door, he looked back up at the top of it. “Oh what, is that a mistletoe?” I furrowed my eyebrows in shock and looked up. There was nothing. He broke out into laughter as I turned red in the face. 

“Dude, why I was about to barf.” I joked. 

He chuckled and put his hands in his pockets. “If there was a mistletoe there, would you have kissed me?” He asked abruptly. I leaned back, pretending to look confused. D-does he know? Impossible.

I raised a brow, wondering what his motives were. “I don’t know.” I deadpanned, closing the door in his face. 

I was about to walk away but I heard a knock on the door again. Then again. And again. And again. I let out a low growl and opened the door.

“Jisung told me.” He said before I could let another peep out. 

W-wait

I felt my hands turn numb and my legs go shaky. We stood in silence for a solid minute, which was a long time without saying anything. 

My mind felt numb and I couldn’t think of any lie to save myself. 

“Um... I’m sorry, you need to go.” I started to close the door, but he stopped me gently. 

“Y/n, wait, I’m not mad, and technically I knew before he told me. Look, I feel terrible for not recognizing you earlier but I was really fucking drunk. And I wasn’t in the right mind since I had ended things with Chaeyoung and my mind was just not thinking of anything. But I swear as soon as I got shown a video of us singing the next day, I knew. And I felt terrible, so I’m so sorry.” 

I felt shocked at his apology and I was unable to say anything in response. 

“Please, say something.” He took my hands and pulled me closer to him. 

And I felt terrible when I pulled back. I saw hurt run across his face as I said, “Look I was drunk too and--”

“No you weren’t, you were completely sober, I could tell in the video. Y/n please...” He made an attempt to come closer but stopped. “Look I know it’s bad that I just kissed a random girl and am now making attempts at you but there was something just drawing me to you that night. I mean the alcohol was helping me act on instinct but still. 

I was so happy to find out it was you. I had no idea who the girl was gonna be but when it was you, I couldn’t help but feel so relieved because it’s you, the girl I had a crush on in my psych class who was sarcastic with a weird sense of humor but that’s what was so awesome about you so please, we can just work something out. We don’t have to work fast.” 

A part of me wanted to just say yes and jump into his arms, but these things don’t happen to girls like me: girls who are constantly stuck in the background. He was still in love with that girl who sang confidently at karaoke, not that dull one in his psych class. 

“I’m sorry, Chan but I just can’t.” I spoke softly. I couldn’t bare to look at him as he left, but he said nothing as he walked off my porch.

------

I laid in bed, feeling like the whole world was pressing down on my chest. 

“Y/n! We’re going out to aunt josie’s house! Watch the house for us, we’ll be gone for 5 days! Merry Christmas!” The door slammed shut and I was officially alone on Christmas.

I’d always spent Christmas alone, every single year. 

Jisung had his own family to tend to and I didn’t wanna bother him. I told him that I was fine being alone since I hated Christmas anyways, and he didn’t push thankfully. It was time for me to be alone, to mourn my parents. 

It had been a few days, or maybe a week, since I last saw Chan. Jisung didn’t push the subject, knowing there was a more confusing internal battle in me. 

I felt my phone vibrate, signaling a text. My eyes grew wide when I read the contact name, scared to read the message. 

‘can we meet up right now?’ it read.

My fingers shook, unable to type a message. I hovered my finger over the ‘block’ button, wondering if that was a good idea. But before I could do anything, I got a call from Jisung. .

“Wha-”

“DON’T BLOCK HIM!” I pulled my phone away from my ear. 

“What? How did you know-”

“’Cause I fucking know you, don’t block him. Ok, y/n, let’s be honest right here right now. This isn’t about Chan, this is about you. I guess and Chan but anyways. You’re scared because of these insecurities you have, which you shouldn’t have ‘cause you’re pretty and you’re funny and cool so yeah. But, you have them, so what can you do I guess. But Chan, he’s a great dude; he’s funny, talented, hot, sporty, he’s everything a girl could want and more. Especially what you want. So I know you like him and you should take this chance because even if things don’t work out forever, at least you made the effort.”

I could hear loud music and talking in the background and I knew he was outside of his house where a big party was happening. I went soft knowing he was taking the time out of his Christmas to say this to me.

“Ok... I’ll do it.” 

“Wait what?”

“Call you later.” 

I hung up the phone and returned to texting Chan with Jisung’s confidence in me. 

‘yes... im home right now.’ 

‘are you flirting with me right now?’

I let out a bark of laughter. Chan knew how to get a girl to smile. 

‘no :/’ 

‘well i’ll still be there in 20 mins’ 

‘ok i’ll be here too’

He read my message, didn’t respond. Does that mean he’s on his way over now? 

I ran out of bed and looked at myself. 

“I need a fucking shower.” I took a 5 minute shower and ran out, dried myself and put on a little makeup, just to look not dead. I pulled on a white sweater and leggings, trying to look like I’ve been lounging all day, but cute lounging. 

Before I knew it, I heard my doorbell ring. I groaned in surprise but ran downstairs anyways. I took a deep breath, calming myself.

You can do this.

I threw open the door and saw him standing there, in a white button down shirt with dark fancy pants. His hair was now a dark brown, making him look more mature and casual than his chic blonde look. 

“Hi.” He said with a smile. 

“Hey, um, come in I guess.” I stood back to let him in and closed and locked the door behind him. “Um, merry Christmas.” He looked at me with kind eyes and smiled.

“Merry Christmas to you too.” 

We stood in a peaceful silence, one testing out the waters with the other. 

“What are you doing here instead of spending time with your family?” I asked finally. He shrugged. 

“Well, um, so both my parents died when I was 13.” I held in my gasp and held my head low for condolence.

“I’m sorry for your losses.” He nodded and looked up at me. 

“I’ve heard you have a similar story.” I sighed and sat down next to him as he took a seat on the couch. 

His body heat was radiating off him in waves and it made me feel like home. “Yeah, Jisung probably told you?” Chan nodded and I sighed. “Yeah, um, my mom died when I was pretty young, 8 to be exact. And my dad died just a couple years ago...leaving me with an ass for a stepmom and step sisters so.” I shrugged, not knowing how to go on.

“I’m sorry.” I nodded.

He leaned back in the couch and rolled up his sleeves. I couldn’t help but feel so attracted to him despite our situation being serious. 

“So-” We both started. 

“You go first.” He said. I nodded. 

“So um, I’m just really sorry about what happened the last time I saw you. I guess I was just afraid of commitment and um, feeling loved I guess. To explain it simply, I’ve always felt like I was background music while everyone else is a title track.” I shrugged nonchalantly, but I couldn’t help but feel emotional. His arm immediately went to wrap around my body and pulled me closer. He rubbed my back in circular motions which calmed me down. 

“I’m not blaming you for what happened, I guess we both have our faults.” I shook my head.

“No, you did nothing wrong, it was just me.” I argued as he laughed in surprise.

“Seriously, the first time we kissed, I was drunk as hell. I could tell you noticed ‘cause you made a face.” I blushed and hid my face in my hands. 

“Shut up.” 

As I said that, we returned to our usual banter and relationship. It felt normal again. 

“Hey, I never got to tell you, you’re an amazing singer you know that?” I gave him a small smile and shrugged.

“Thanks, you are too.” 

Then, he glanced up at the ceiling and raised his brows. 

“Mistletoe!” He called out. I grew confused and looked up. “There’s no mistletoe up there.” He gave me a boyish smile and shrugged.

“I know, I just wanna kiss you.” I let out a harsh laugh and slapped his chest.

“Dude, you can’t just say mistletoe whenever you wanna kiss me.” He wiggled his eyes brows and came close to me. My body grew warm since the look on his face was nothing but innocent. “You sure?” I nodded, daring him to go on.

“Mistletoe.” He pecked me on the lips, sending tiggles through my body, but leaving me wanting more.

“Mistletoe.” He leaned in again for half a second then pulled away.

“Mistletoe.” 

“Mistletoe.”

“Mis-” As he leaned in to kiss me for the fifth time, I pulled him closer and he didn’t fight it as he pulled me on his lap. 

He pulled away softly to look up at me. I titled my head at him in curiosity.

“Hm, so how do you like Christmas now, Cinderella?” I gasped and shoved him away playfully. 

“Cinderella? You are not calling me that!” I squealed as he tickled my sides.

“Really? How ‘bout Cindy? Ella? Cinder??” I flicked him on the neck harshly and he gasped in pain. 

“You meanie!” 

He laughed and held me down in his lap. “Ok ok fine! But I’m serious, how do you like Christmas now?” 

I thought about his question for a moment until I leaned down to kiss him gently on the lips, surprising him.

“I could get used to it.”

[sophocused]

uni recap 2019

I think it's really important for young studyblrs still in high school or junior high to be exposed to more detailed and honest uni experience anecdotes, so buckle up because it’s about to get real honest and a little personal in here.

I'm in the middle of the fall term of my second uni year, technically now in the 2nd year of my general B.Sc. and I need to start from the beginning a little bit, especially when it comes to my academic journey so far.

Let's start with junior high, when adults always want to ask what you want to be when you grow up. After going to a career symposium with friends, a field trip run by the school, that's when I heard about the College of Pharmacy at the "top" university of the province.

First thing that attracted me was that they make an annual $100k a year, and to my 14 year old impressionable mind that was convinced that my future had to revolve around making bank, I decided from there that I would work towards the end goal of becoming a pharmacist.

I was convinced that pharmacy was the ultimate goal to get my life going, as a real functioning adult of society.

Fortunately, I was wrong. It was a hard pill to swallow, but a necessary one nonetheless.

Since this is an academic recap, I won't bring up the mental health and physical health bits of the last eight years of my life, I'll fastforward to high school senior year, when I decided I would (as a minimal effort-get straight A's student) actually TRY in my studies again. It was because my work ethic had grown to a point that when I didn't try and still got a B or A, I was scared of the moment I would actually try and then not get an A or A+. I wanted to fight that fear of realizing that I'm not "effortlessly good at thngs" because I didnt want to have a fear of failure.

(Disclaimer: it's been three years since then and I'm still a work in progress when it comes to my relationship with failures but it is getting consistently healthier, despite bumps)

Thus, I started this studyblr three years ago, June 30th 2016 I believe?? My url was chemystery for the first few days but sophocused came up because of sophocles (not that hes my fave philosopher or anything) it just stuck ANYWAY IM GETTING DISTRACTED

So I actually tried in my last year of high school, worked hard and got A's in physics, pre-calculus, and AP chemistry. The AP chemistry came with a provincial exam, that in getting a score of 4, granted me a $150 reward, and the grade of a B in two university courses (2 chem prerequisites)

I was a fool and no one exactly explained to me that those 2 courses were even harder when taught through uni, because I really wasted nearly $1000 in taking those two courses again in my first year of uni, in hopes of turning them into A's.

I should probably mention that going into uni, the pharmacy program had 2 chem, 2 bio, 1 calc, 1 written course, and 2 electives, as prerequisites. My innocent mind, thinking it wouldn't be a big deal, registered for a full five and five course load, so that I could finish all my prerequisites within my first year of uni, and apply for the college of pharmacy by March. (Back then, it was still a Bachelor's program where selection process depended on your AGPA, and your mark on a written critical skills essay)

I learned the hard way that for university, it is a mentally and emotionally laborious task to try and juggle five classes, having to hold yourself accountable when it comes to attendance and figuring out what notes you want to take. There's no way to write physical hand-written notes for five courses (not for me anyway).

It was incredibly fast-paced as well, and I had many days where I just didn't want to get out of bed. I was so conflicted with my perfectionist mindset, and the pressure to get a 4.0 GPA that I spread myself so thin and honestly it was one of the most difficult years of my life. I still got out with 8 B's and 2 A's by the end of my first year. I was ashamed of those B's.

When it came to applying for pharmacy however, despite the grades I got, my GPA didn't make it to the minimum 3.50 needed to be applicable for pharmacy, but I got my transcript a month after I had already applied for pharmacy and I had even done the written exam.

I had to face my first big failure which was getting the email that they couldnt even look over or consider my application because my GPA did not reach the minimum required.

On top of that, I learned that I could not just simply try again the next year. This was because suddenly, the university decided they were going to change the Bachelors pharmacy program into a PharmD. A doctorate. To me, that meant they added eight more prerequisites (even more difficult uni courses with chem and human phys), and a required PCAT score. We also were not allowed to apply until Fall 2020. That meant, I now suddenly had no plan for my academic career for the next two years because I had really only ever thought about getting into pharmacy on the first try.

After a breakdown or two last year upon processing this, I had made the decision and talked to my parents about trying for it again, and doing the new prerequisites. This brought in the new mental turmoil of money on my mind during my summer after first year of uni, thousands of dollars this would cost, suddenly having no routine for four months after working at max brain capacity for 6 months.

My 2nd year of uni, fall 2018, a lot of growing had happened, a lot of processing of failure happened, just. a lot. happened.

October 2018, I got a job at a school, so I really juggled my school stuff with work. Five days a week, I would be up at 6-7am and then get home around 6:30pm, while doing human physiology, organic chemistry 1, an eastern religions elective, and an intro to statistics course.

long story short, yes I must spare you the details of the process of it all because it got pretty sad. That was my worst uni term, ending with 1 B, 1 C+, 1 C, and an F in organic chem.

My first F in university. My first F ever in my entire school life. It was a begrudging blow at my mental state, and I spent two to three weeks devastated. I dont know how I got out of it, I think one day I just said to myself, "Okay you got an F, but did you die?"

Honestly, the humour in that really cheered me up, among other things, and the emotional support I got from my older sister, and by the time I got into the 2nd half of my uni year (right now), I have discovered I potentially have a calling to become a teacher or to work in the lab as a technician.

Most importantly, most if not all of the credits I've earned, are also applicable to get into the Faculty of Education. Basically, I came to peace with having options, and digging deep into myself to really find the thing that I could really see myself doing based on my personality and interests, not just on the money and the rush of finishing school.

I just finished the longest midterm season of winter 2019, with my first midterm being early February and my last midterm + essay deadline on March 15th... I did well. I did well in trying to really take care of myself while trying to go to every class and trying to work hard as much as I could everyday. I think out of my many midterms, I got 1 A, 4 B's, and a C. These are all salvageable. I do still really want to keep working towards a 4.5 GPA but now I'm okay if that doesnt always turn out to be what I get.

Anyway I finally get to write something like this because I've been busy for the past month, a lot of things happened again in the midst of it all, but I'm still okay. I get a week to rest before my lab exam and then it's finals season.

This time, I'll try hard not to just let my life pass me by, with only ever school and academics in mind, I had gotten really sad these past few weeks, and I'm usually good at being my own antidote for that, but I really got to a point where I felt I had no strength to pick myself back up.

Last night I said "fuck it" and decided to go to my cousin's house who I hadn't seen in over a month to spend time with them instead of working on my 30% essay due midnight. Before I was so desperate to finish it, terrified of the 2% deduction per day it would be late, but after crying on the bus, I had had enough of letting my academics bring this much weight on my mental health. After spending four hours with my cousins and aunt, I came home to my mom, and I watched a two hour movie with her.

I didn't regret it one bit. I felt better than I had in a long, long while.

Now, this Friday, my grandma and other cousin are flying in, and I cant wait to just keep healing.

Thank you for reading, or scanning over, I hope you got something good out of this, as I am telling this story both for my sake, and for other students’ who might commonly find themselves in the same boat. I believe in you.

[hogtowned-blog]

( MAIA MITCHELL. FEMALE. SHE/HER. )  —  oh, you mean sierra murphy, the 25 year-old cosmetologist? they live in L203 & have been here for one year. i know they’re an aquarius and when i see them, i can’t help but think of weakly woven beaded bracelets, creased concealer barely covering dark bags, and the ritualistic removal of the glitter and glitz of a long night out. but go say hey, get to know them for yourself! 

hey hey! my name is liz aka admin l and i’m so excited 2 rp w/ u !! i’m a 21 y/o living in the cst timezone and i’m down w/ she/they pronouns. i’ve got a few kids to hit you with but im caught up on the main a little so they may be spaced out. i’m down to plot just about anything!! feel free to hit me up here but if u got one i rly prefer discord where u can reach me @ rebel, rebel #5957 :))

A HISTORY

sierra grew up middle class as they come. her parents went all in on it: the house in the suburbs, the nuclear family, the dog and the picket fence. she was born their first child, and grew up with her little brother just behind her. there were no great tragedies in her childhood. they were happy and they got by, and that’s something she’ll always remember.

sierra always strove in the spotlight. she’s always loved getting a little extra attention. she took up cheer in middle school and used it to her advantage: she wasn’t cruel, but she certainly soaked up being able to create a cool girl persona for herself. her parents were glad she had the extracurricular, and she reveled in becoming one of the faces most well known of her class.

high school comes around and it’s more of the big same. she continues to be generally well liked and popular. for three years, she frequents party scenes, tries to get to as many people as she cans, but all the while, she never really stopped to make like. meaningful lasting connections. like she’s the kinda girl to say she loves you the night you meet her but then you don’t hear from her for weeks. she was kind of that person that everyone knew and was pretty much cool with but asides from a few exceptions didn’t have many real friends just casual pals and people she could party with.

her senior year, someone wrote on the third stall in the one nice girl’s bathroom at school that she was a superficial bitch. no one paid as much mind to it as she did. because in all reality, it was right. she cared about the wrong things for the wrong reasons. she drove around for a couple hours listening to kelly clarkson and really trying to figure her ish out and ultimately decided to try to be more real with people. she wanted things to be honest and she wanted the people that liked her to like her for who she was not just because she was cool to hang out with sometimes.

a side effect of making her circle small was that she really got clingy to people who were nice to her plain and simple. enter noah. they met a while after that, but while she was still kinda trying to find herself beyond trying to be the most likable person in a room. he took to the amount of her real self she showed, and he made her feel special. but it got super serious super fast once she found out she was pregnant.

pregnancy tw when she found out she was pregnant, she prepared to take it in stride. with noah, she really felt like maybe she could pull all of this off, and be the kind of person who roots themselves in family, because it’s how she got by as a kid. she knew that an unplanned pregnancy as young as they were wasn’t really the most statistically sound foundation for her family and the rest of her life to be built on, but she figured it was worth a shot. she started to pursue a more serious relationship with noah and finished up obtaining her cosmetology license and really tricked herself into feeling like she had this on lock.

things were okay for a while. and then they weren’t. sometimes the strain of moving that quickly tears things apart, and before their daughter ava’s first birthday, noah and sierra had called it. they’re still amicable to coparent, but it’s undeniable that things are vastly different in sierra’s life as she functions largely as a single mother.

she’s sort of in a catch in her life now where she wants to be the mature adult her daughter needs her to be, but she’s also still twenty-five, single, and finding her footing in the world. yes, she watches more doc mcstuffins than most people her age, but she’s also not afraid to take a night off and head out on the town with her girls when she needs it. so bottom line is her life at this point is all about working to find that balance and allow herself to be both a mother and her own person.

A LIL MORE

make no mistake, sierra’s never taken being miss Thing to a mean place. she was never cruel, but there was always something just,,, kinda spacey about her, because she was nice enough and fun to have at a party but she really is the chameleon type of person to adjust 2 whatever her surroundings were. she’s a little fake in that sense and there are times people have been able to scope cracks in her facade to see that she’s more shallow than she lets on

she’s weirdly zen now like she worked out her stuff and she’s come back a lot less high strung than before catch her doing yoga on the beach in the early mornings with the oldsters

pansexual princess

she can find herself slipping back into old habits and kinda just agreeing to things for the sake of being agreeable and likable or acting out because of the attention it brings so look out

week days she pretty diligently devotes herself to keeping up work and her family but the weekends unless she has explicit plans that require her 2 keep it Professional and good influence-y she’s probably throwing down some….. old habits die hard

[justkimberley]

Thank you for tagging me :) @ambitioncunningpridemieczyslaw it's always fun to learn more about ppl.

Best gift you've ever gotten: my answer for this acutally just changed recently. context: my grandparents all died before i was born/when i was 2/3, so i don't have much to remember them by. my mom was visiting my aunt (her oldest sister) this summer and my aunt gave my mom my grandpa's mandolin to give to me. one of my uncles had said that maybe my cousin would like it (he's also very musical, about 4 yrs older than me), but my aunt thought that i should have it because i don't have much to remember my grandpa from. just a couple home videos really. anyway, my mom told me this story and gave me the mandolin and i just absolutely bawled my eyes out.

Nicest thing anyone's ever done for you: when i get very overwhelmed my oldest sister will listen to me and help me prioritize things until they don't seem so daunting. she will even take on tasks that i want to finish but don't necessarily have to do myself if she thinks it will help. it's something that i appreciate endlessly. i know that it's not her job, and sometimes i feel bad that i'm bothering her, but it’s always so helpful and reminds me how much she cares about me.

Favourite holiday memory: when i was 12 we went to hawaii and the guy at the surf shop told us about this breakfast restaurant that we needed to go to for banana pancakes with macadamia nut sauce so we did and that was the most delicious breakfast i've ever had.

Where you want to go once you can travel again: lmao technically we can travel now but i don't have a passport atm 🙃. When i finally get around to it, i really want to go to a convention or something to see my favourite creators. i've realized that i have the ability to do random shit now as an adult and i'm ready to finally try doing the things i was always too embarrassed about/didn't want to ask my parents for.

Animal you identify with: cats! i love cuddling until i don't, i like things to be done on my terms, i like to take naps, and i have a habit of nuzzling my face into people that i love.

Your OTP: i'm so bad at otp's im much more of a multishipper. I'd probably agree with you that tyrus is good, i really can't see them with anyone else. Probably nick and charlie from heartstopper too.

Tumblr Pals you want to meet irl: niko!

Soulmates real or fake: real. Statistically speaking it just makes sense that there are people you are destined to get along with. I don't necessarily think there is 1 person romantically for everyone, but i think that there are people in the world that you will click with no matter what.

Favourite holdiay food: ginger snaps 😋 (least favourite is fruitcake)

What you wish you were doing right now: i wish i was cuddling someone tbh

Your safe space/ where or who you feel at home with: my friends. Especially my irl best friends, they will listen to me talk about my random hyperfixations and not get annoyed with me :)

Favourite hobbies: art, music, writing, reading... idk i have a lot of them.

Cooking or baking: both!! i just like to make/eat good food and i happen to be fantastic at it. 💁🏼

Reading or writing: (considering how little i write nowadays 🙈) probably reading. I miss writing though, i need to pick it up again.

Gifsets or moodboards: gif sets.

Coffee or tea: both? Depends on the mood really.

City or suburbs: suburbs. Cities get too overwhelming sometimes.

Someone who can always make you laugh: me... lol it's true but I'm actually going to go with kurtis conner.

Someone who always brightens your day: Sapnap

Favourite day of the week: friday

Favourite animals: cat, hedgehog, dog

Favourite movie, tv show, and a song: i'm bad at favourites so im going to go with comfort movie/tv/song. Any of the high school musical movies will always cheer me up, avatar the last airbender is a fantastic show, and september by earth, wind, fire NEVER fails to put a smile on my face.

Dream vacation spot: anywhere with my friends. I really want to go to greece some day.

Writers/artists/creators you want to see more of: all of them!

Tag: anyone who sees this!

25 fun and cute questions to brighten the spirits and get us through the holidays!

I was tagged by @halevetica who is literally such an angel and one of the best fanfic writers of all time!!!!!!!

Check them out on Ao3 cuz again they are one of the best and has never written a bad fic 💕

Hiya all! I’ve created this list as a reminder of happy memories and great times with our loved ones since I think we’re all feeling a tad blue this holiday season. Tagging my favourite blogs but all are welcome to answer :)

Best gift you’ve ever gotten: I would have to say the best gift I ever got came from my old high school ap lit teacher/theater director I was in the plays every year from 7th-12th grade and she got me a necklace with the drama faces on it along with a jewelry box that played at the beginning from Anastasia, which was the first song I ever sang with her on stage, when I graduated so yeah she gets the win everytime cuz she had me bawling like a baby at the final cast party we did

Nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you: I have 4 different friends who on 4 different occasions just bought me gifts not because of anything special or because they felt sorry over us fighting or something just they saw something and genuinely thought I would like it. I honestly just love receiving gifts that someone gets you out of the blue just because they simply think of you after seeing something and get it for you like it definitely means a lot to me that I'm the first person they thought of when getting those things

Your favourite holiday memory: Um... I honestly don't know if I have one, but something that I look back and think fondly of is when the one year my mom and I caroled with our church choir like I remember all the baking we did the day before in the church kitchen and it was a lot of us singing to Christmas songs that probably shouldn't be played in church lol and the caroling itself went well we gave out plates of cookies and caroled for any person who was on our prayer list at the time and seeing some of those people's faces like them seeing that people did care and that they weren't alone meant everything to me

Where you want to go first once we can travel again: New Zealand it's always looked so beautiful plus I mean that's where Lucy Lawless is from so it has to be amazing

Your spirit animal: I'm going to say a wolf just because I've always had this obsession with them since I was a kid

Your OTP: See I wanna say Sterek just because they're my favorite ship but I also like them in different pairings... I'm going to do a throwback shout out to Tyrus from Andi Mack cuz I can't handle seeing Tj and Cyrus with anyone but each other.

Tumblr pals you want to meet in real life: Literally anyone and everyone so I have more people to cuddle and binge shows with lol

Soulmates: real or fake: Imma say real like I do believe they're are souls who are cosmically linked together whether it be romantically or platonically I do think we all have that one person who we want to spend forever with

Favourite holiday food: those sugar cookies with the Reese Cups or Hershey Kisses in the center those are the shit tbh

What you wish you were doing right now: it's only 9:30 am so it's my chill in bed and contemplate life time lol but ig if there was something I wish I was doing rn it would be finishing the Sterek fic I'm reading rn

Your safe space/where or who you feel most at home with: My safe space would be while I was in school it was either the library or auditorium but now that I have an apartment that I share with my sister like I finally feel like I have a home to go to and genuinely want to be at so yeah my place is definitely my space but as for people I would say my sister and our two best friends

Favourite hobbies: Reading brings me joy lol which here are pictures I finally finished putting together my other book shelf the other day so if ya'll want to see here are some pictures. Definitely want more books though lol

Cooking or baking: Oh cooking for sure cuz I can't bake for shit 😅

Reading or writing: Reading

Gifsets or mood boards:

Coffee or tea: Coffee!!!!

City or suburbs: To visit city to stay suburbs

Someone who can always make you laugh: I would say my sister and our two friends we're always making each other laugh

Someone who always brightens your day: @crazyassmurdererwall just because anytime I'm having a bad day the fic I go to for comfort is Stuck In Reverse because it is literal perfection

Favourite day of the week: Whatever my day or days off are that week like how today is a glorious Tuesday cuz it's my only day off this week

Favourite animal: Wolves

Dream vacation spot: I mean I've been to the beach nearly every summer since I was a kid so I feel like renting out a nice cabin in the mountains somewhere would be dope af

Writer, artist, or creator(s) you want to see more of: @crazyassmurdererwall & @isthatbloodonhisshirt & @halevetica always 💕

Favourite movie, television show, and song: A Star Is Born (2018), Sex and the City, & You Don't Own Me by Lesley Gore

I tag @justkimberley @acercrea @charming-fan-girl @cinematicnomad only if ya'll want to of course & if I mentioned you and you see this and want to do this go for it!!!! Please tag me if you do and that goes for anyone who sees this I give you full permission to tag me so I can see all of your responses. Love you all!!! 💕💕💕